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tomholland1996simp · 2 years ago

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I posted 54 times in 2022

That's 54 more posts than 2021!

33 posts created (61%)

21 posts reblogged (39%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@xtom-darling-x17

@tomdayaland

@tomhollandnet

@turbulentcanary

I tagged 42 of my posts in 2022

Only 22% of my posts had no tags

#tom holland - 38 posts

#fluff - 31 posts

#like - 30 posts

#tom holland x reader - 29 posts

#tom holland fic - 28 posts

#tom - 25 posts

#imagine - 23 posts

#oneshot - 23 posts

#tomhollandsimp - 22 posts

#hollandaccount - 20 posts

Longest Tag: 30 characters

#california academy of sciences

My Top Posts in 2022:

Cute || Tom Holland

Pairing: Tom holland x mum reader

(Tom is not the father of the readers child)

Summary: A day out with Tom and your son that is full of cuteness, and even gets your son to call Tom by a certain name by accident.

“Dylan, baby. Tom’s gonna be here in a minute, can you get your shoes?” You call to your 5 year old son. Today you had planned a cute little day out with your boyfriend Tom and your son, Dylan.

You and Tom have been dating for two years now and it’s going really well. At first it was hard with Dylan as he’s never really had a male presence in his life. But surprisingly Dylan got on really well with Tom, he loves him.

Dylan’s dad has never been in his life, he doesn’t want anything to do with him. That’s why your happy you met Tom. Dylan’s dad left you when you told him you was pregnant, he didn’t want to keep the baby, however you did. But it’s his loss. Honestly Dylan is the most brightest and cutest little kid ever, you love him with all your heart.

“Mummy-“ Dylan whined but got cut off by the door bell ringing. Walking to the door and opening it you was greeted by a handsome face.

“Hello gorgeous” He smirks walking into the house, placing a small kiss on your lips. “Hey baby, we’re nearly ready. I just need to get my phone and keys” you tell him walking into the other room.

“Mummy!” Dylan whines again from his room.

“Mummy please” He calls again. Tom slowly walked into his room seeing the little five year old on the floor with a frown on his face.

“Hey buddy, what’s wrong?” He asked crouching down to your son.

“I can’t do it, please can you hwlp me” He cries, pointing to his shoe lace.

Tom smiles picking the boy up onto his lap and tying his shoe lace in a double knot. “There we go bud” He smiles as Dylan crawls off his lap looking at his shoe laces, smiling. Saying a small ‘Thank you’ after.

“You cuties ready?” You stand in the door way admiring your two favourite boys in awe’s.

“You look pretty mummy” Dylan compliments you hugging your legs.

“Thanks Dylan. Right let’s go have some fun” You exclaim lifting your hands up in the air to your son.

“Yesss!” He screams. “Come on Tommy, let’s have fun!” He pulls Toms hand out of his room and pushing him to the door.

“Yeah Tommy. Let’s have fun” you wink at your boyfriend, shaking your shoulders into his with a smirk.

………………………….

You all first went out to eat for some lunch in a restaurant. You really wanted to have a special day with the two boys and bond. Tom had only just got back from filming a week ago and he was away for two months. You and Dylan always miss him when he goes away, but you both understood the reasons behind why he had to go…well mostly you.

Dylan sometimes put up a fight begging for Tom not to go. It was cute to know how much your boy loves and cares for Tom and the other way round. Tom would do anything for Dylan, he acts like he’s his own child sometimes.

“So you decided what you want yet, Dylan?” Tom asks him as Dylan stares at the menu even though he can’t read it.

Dylan smiles, nodding. “Can I..Can I get chicken nuggets and chippys plwease?” He asked me and Tom, us both smiling and nodding.

“Have you decided what you want, darling” Tom places his hand on your thigh giving you a kiss on your cheek making Dylan fake gag.

“Yeah, I’m gonna paying for-“ But before you could even finish what you was going to say Tom cut you off. “No, I’m paying my treat” He smiles, placing his finger to your lips so you couldn’t argue back.

He then called the waitress over ordering our food, the waitress writing it down. “Would you like a kids colouring book?” She asked Dylan with a smile, he nodded happily.

See the full post

407 notes - Posted September 22, 2022

I’m just tired || Tom holland

Paring: Dad!Tom

Warnings: Tired reader, Angst kinda

Summary: You and Tom have a daughter who is 2 years old. Tom has been away filming and at night you have been getting no sleep, due to your daughter going sleep too late. One day Harry comes over, to see you looking very tired. He offers to help, however you say that your fine. The story carries on from there ;)

(I know it’s kinda like my ‘I’m sorry mummy’ one but people really liked it so here’s another)

Tom and I have a daughter who is now 2 years old turning 3 soon. Her name is Scarlett and she can be a very adorable, nice girl at some times. However she can have her days where she wants to throw tantrums everywhere and scream and cry all the time. It can be very stressful at times because Tom isn't always here. I know he can't help it due to filming, but I miss him a lot. I don't tell him how stressed and tired i've been lately as he's busy filming in America.

Yeah I know I should ask for help from his parents or brothers, however I wanna try be a good mum to Scarlett and try do it on my own. My best friend, Y/B/F/N, even told me that I need a break and I should ask for help, but I simply can't.

Lately Scarlett has been going bed so late around 1-3am. Her bed time routine has been so bad, so i've been up so late recently. Normally she has a good routine but whenever Tom goes she just messes around as I am what they call the 'soft parent'. I try be the mean one but I feel too bad when I try tell her off.

"Scarlett you need to go sleep, your uncle Harry is coming over tomorrow" I lay her back down. The time was currently 2:45am and she just wasn't going sleep.

"No. I want the phone" She huffs.

"You can watch something on my phone tomorrow-we'll today when you wake up" I place her back in her small bed.

"NOOOO" She runs out the room, so I chase after her. "I DONT WANNA GO BED" She screams and cries throwing some of her toys.

"Stop please bubs. Just go sleep" I was absolutely exhausted at this point. I only had 2 hours sleep last night and I know tonight will be the same.

(Btw she's still young so her words won't be clear so that's why they look like they are spelt wrong)

"Daddy would lwt me stay awke" she stood up crossing her arms.

"No he wouldn't"

"Yes daddy would!" she stomps her foot.

I lost it at this point, "WELL YOUR DADDY ISN'T HERE, I AM! SO YOU DO AS YOUR MUM SAYS AND GO TO BED!!" I shouted, then she runs up the stairs crying. Honestly after I said that I felt bad so so bad. This is why I am the soft parent because I never shout at her but she always listen to Tom. It's like she hates me and me only.

Walking up the stairs, I open her room door to see her crying under her covers. Slowly going over to her, I try pull the covers but she holds them tight. "I'm so sorry princess" I whisper.

"Go away pwease" her little voice choked.

"okay. Goodnight" I whisper walking out the room, crying on the way to mine and Toms shared one.

That night I cried all night long, I must've only got like 1 hour sleep. I woke up early in the morning as well , around 7am. The house needed to be cleaned and I had a lot of things to do. Harry was coming over at 1pm.

"Scarlett come down here, your uncle Harry will be here any minute now" I tiredly shout from the living room. Then I heard loud footsteps running down the stairs. Scarlett still hasn't spoken to me since last night but I understand.

About 10 minutes later there was a knock on the door, so I stood up opening it. Harry stood there with a big smile on his face.

"Hi y/n- oh wow are you okay?" His smile fades as he looks at my face.

"Yeah I'm fine" I shut the door behind him, giving him a side hug.

"You sure? You have big bags under your eyes. Are you even sleeping?" He takes his shoes off.

See the full post

411 notes - Posted August 11, 2022

Not mine ^^^^

“I’m sorry mummy” || Tom holland

Summary: You and Tom have a child called Noah, who is 4 years old. Tom is filming in America, when he gets a call from his son, saying that Y/N is crying because their son said and did somethings.

The rest you will find out....

You and Tom have been dating for about 5 years now and have been engaged for about 8months. You both have a son called Noah, who just recently turned 4 years old. You found out you was pregnant after being with Tom for nearly a year. The pregnancy went well and everything and now you have an adorable little boy.

(Your 23 years old right now and had Noah at 19)

Well sometimes he can be adorable and cute, however lots of the times he's naughty. You was always the soft parent, feeling bad for Noah If you ever told him of, but it had to be done. Tom on the other hand was the parent that Noah always listened to and never really behaved, that was probably because Tom knew he had to learn what's right from wrong.

Ever since Tom started leaving for filming, Noah started acting up. He started having certain behaviours that just weren't okay, such as hitting, being rude or throwing things. Of course knew about some of these things but he was never there to see how stressful it can be. You was still very young at the age of 23, so you still had to do things for work.

Today though Noah was being extremely bad and you just wasn't feeling great at all. And the worst thing is that Tom still had about a month left of filming so he wouldn't be back any time soon.

*cough*

You had been coughing all night long, you must've got about just 2 hours sleep only. It was about 9p.m when you heard a loud smash from the kitchen. You then quickly jumped up, running into the kitchen to see Noah laughing, whilst standing on the counter, as he went to grab another plate to smash from the cupboard.

"Noah No!" you shout rushing over to him to pick him up.

"Your so boring" He whines as you picked him up putting him in the front room.

You kneel down to his height, "Listen, we do not throw plates on the floor and we don't climb onto the counter" you say without trying to cough.

"I don't care" He walks away from you, sitting on the sofa.

After You went into the kitchen to clean up the smashed plate on the floor, making sure nothing else is left. You then made Noah some breakfast.

"I've made you some food baby, sit in the chair" you say placing the plate on the table.

You didn't make yourself anything because your throat killed. Instead you took some tablets with water to try make you feel better.

"Ewww I don't want this!" Noah throws his food onto the floor, Tessa then eating it after.

"Noah. Don't throw your food onto the-" You started coughing so you didn't finish your sentence.

"I don't like your food! I like daddy's breakfast" He gets his juice cup, throwing it at you.

"N-NOAH! DONT THROW" You shout trying not to let a tear slip from your face. Yes you wanted to cry, your child was being so naughty and you felt so sick.

"I DONT CARE!" He storms off into the living room, going to watch tv.

However, you decided he needed to be taught a lesson so you went into the room, turning off the tv with the controller in your hand. "No tv for naughty boys like you"

"WHAT! Ugh but daddy would let me" He whines.

"Well daddy is not here!"

"I WANNA WATCH TV!" He starts to cry, then walking up to you punching you.

See the full post

539 notes - Posted August 8, 2022

Video game || Peter Parker

Summary: Peter is your best friend, you go to his house after an argument with your parents. However he’s playing video games so you decided to sit in his lap. He realises your sad and turns off the game to comfort you.

Today just wasn’t the day, school was tough as it is and now your shouting back at your parents. You don’t really know what caused the fight between them, they always find ways to argue with each other. All you was trying to do is defuse the fight between them both.

Being the only child really sucks when they argue as you are always in the middle of it trying to calm them down. The most annoying thing is, is that after an argument the next day they acted like nothing happened. They would be cuddling on the sofa acting happy and not the toxic couple they was the night before. And this really made you mad.

Now your mum is shouting at you telling you not to get involved even though she’s the one that had called you down to interfere with it. You was just sitting in your bedroom catching up with your homework when she shouted, “Y/N COME DOWN!” That’s when you came running down the stairs.

You knew what was going to happen, in the end you would be the bad person to trying to find peace. You didn’t think arguments nor violence was the way to sort problems or issues.

“I don’t care y/n, you told me the other day you thought the same!” Your mum shouted trying to get you on her side when really you wasn’t on any. She lied, you never thought the same as her, you didn’t say anything. She just wanted you and her to gang up on your dad.

“Don’t try turn my daughter against me you bitch” Your dad shouted in your mums face as you stood between them, scared if anything happened. You were pleading them to stop, tears falling down your cheeks. That’s when your mum tried to slap your dad in the face but ended up hitting you. It has happened many times, this time it hurting really bad.

“ouch! I SAID STOP! LOOK IM THE ONE GETTING HURT NOW! JUST FUCKING SHUT UP!” You scream a sob, walking pass them to get your shoes on. You really had enough, your tired and just wanted sleep. Now you couldn’t.

“Where are you going? y/n i’m sorry” Your mum grabbed your arm trying to stop you from walking out the door.

You just shrugged her off, grabbing your keys and phone slamming the door behind you. Ignoring her shouts and calls for you to come back. It was dark outside and chilly. Queens wasn’t very safe to be travelling outside at this time of the night, however you didn’t really care. You just needed to see one person and one person only……Peter.

…………………………….

You arrived at his apartment fifteen minutes later, May letting you in straight away. You smiled at her before slowly walking into Peters room, his door being open a tiny bit. There sat your best friend of four years with his headset on and a controller in his hands. His fingers aggressively pressing the buttons.

You shut his door quietly the sound making his head turn to the door. He quickly took his head set off resting it on the back of his neck, the controller in his lap. “Oh hey love, I didn’t know you was coming” He said with a small smile.

“Yeah, c-can I stay over?” You asked sitting on the edge of the bed where his chair was leaning against.

“Yeah of course, everything okay? Wait Ned!” He asked.

“Everything’s good” You lie smiling.

“Okay well i’m gonna play one more game then we can do something” He said turning around to play again with ned.

One game turned into two games and two games turned into more. Not that you minded, but you did want to feel physical touch right now. You needed Peters arms around you to tell you everything will be okay. Instead he’s shouting on the headset to Ned.

“Get him! SHOOT HIM!” He shouted as an idea popped into your head. You didn’t want him to stop playing as that’s what he wanted to do…so you stood up, throwing your phone on his bed.

Walking over to him slowly, seeing his eyes stay on the screen. “What the f-Y/n what are you- No Ned!” You moved his arms so you can sit on his lap in the chair. Your legs either side of them through the arms of the chairs and your arms wrapping around the back of his neck. Your head was now snuggled into his neck, taking in his sent.

“You okay, love?” He wrapped his arms around you still holding his controller in his hands. You just nodded into his neck not wanting to speak. At first he didn’t really think much about it, until he felt wetness in the crook of his neck. That’s when he turned off his game, taking the head set off and placing it with his controller on the side.

Peter then slowly stood up holding the back of your thighs, your legs wrapping around his waist as he held you. He pushed his chair back into the desk, walking over to his bed sitting down.

“Hey, hey sweetheart. What’s the matter?” He tries to lift your head up but you just keep forcing it back down. “Look at me y/n/n” He said, your head slowly lift eyes locking together. You wiped your eyes with your hands, looking at him with a fake smile.

“I’m fine, really.” You tell him again wanting to just stay in the position you was just in.

He rubbed both your arms feeling the goosebumps on your skin. “Your cold. Let me give you something to wear, i’ll get you a hoodie and bottoms” He smiles taking you off his lap.

Once you had gotten changed, Peter walked back into the room with some snacks for you both to eat. He dimmed the lights sitting next to you on his bed, wrapping his arm around you.

“M-My parents were arguing again, I tried to stop it. They got me involved and m-my mum went to hit my dad but she slapped me in the face instead a-as I was in between them. T-They never stop” You sob next to him as he pulls you closer to his body.

“Shhh, it’s okay. I’m here y/n. Don’t worry. I’m so sorry that you have to go through that. Remember your always welcome to stay here” He told you and you always will be.

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1,003 notes - Posted August 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Snap || Peter Parker

Summary: It’s been a long stressful day for Peter, so when you come over he can’t help but get mad at certain things you do. Leading to him snapping at his girlfriend.

Haven’t read over so sorry if there’s mistakes.

Being spider-man could be such a stressful Job for Peter, patrolling late at night, trying to juggle with school work and saving the city all made him tired. He felt drained, not just physically but mentally too. That’s why today he wanted to relax in his and his aunts apartment, alone.

However, Peter had forgot that a couple of days ago he asked his girlfriend, y/n, to come over to hang as the apartment would be free. So instantly when he opened the door after he heard a knock, his face dropped slightly when he saw her bright smile. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see her, he just wanted to be alone and be by himself for the day. Normally when Peter is stressed or tired he snaps out at people and gets angry very easily.

“Heyy, Petey” You smiled at your boyfriend, noticing the black bags under his eyes which you would ask about later if he had been getting sleep. You know that Peter is spider-man, you found out when you two were best friends, after the day he told you, you both confessed that you were in love with each other.

“Oh, y/n? Hi” He rubbed the back of his neck, letting you walk into his apartment. Now he regrets asking you to come over, knowing he just wanted to go bed and sleep.

“Did you forget that I was coming?” You let out a little chuckle, placing the two plastic bags on the counter. Before going to Peters, you decided to buy his favourite sandwich from his favourite sandwich shop, Delmars. Then you stopped at another store to get your favourite snacks and drinks for you’re movie marathon that you had planned to do tonight.

“N-no, just didn’t realise the time” He lied, taking your bag from you’re shoulder and putting it into his room. You followed him behind asking him if he wanted his sandwich. “Maybe later, I just ate not long ago” He lied yet again, laying on his bed.

“You okay, baby?” You noticed his mood, normally your boyfriend was excited to see you, he would greet you with a big hug and a kiss. Then he would ramble on about his day or his patrols late at night.

“Y-yeah” He faked smiled as you crawled onto the bed leaning over to peck his lips, him not kissing back.

You raise your eyebrow, thinking he’s playing with you. “Peterrr give me a kiss” You whine as he ignored you looking at his phone. You then decided to straddle his legs, taking his phone from his hands and giving him a kiss. This time he did kiss back but he pulled away quickly.

“Give my phone back, please” He tiredly asked.

“No” You jokingly smile at him, but your smile dropped when you realised he wasn’t joking the whole time.

“Give my fucking phone y/n!” He snapped, snatching the phone from your hands and pushing you off him. He then turned his back from you, going back on his phone.

“m’ sorry” You mutter that feeling sinking in, deciding to go into the kitchen and help May by cleaning the apartment up a little. You hoped that after you was done that Peter would be out of his ‘mood’ or whatever was going on with him.

After an hour the dishes were finally washed and cleaned so you decided to go back into Peters room to check on him. Now he was sitting at his desk doing his homework that was due for Monday, maths. Luckily for him you were quite good at maths, that’s why he would always ask you for help.

“Want some help?” You asked, your voice coming out more quiet than usual.

He just nodded his head as he moved to the bed so you could both sit together. You then explained to him how to solve some problems, basically doing the homework for him as he laid there. You didn’t mind that though, you were happy to help him.

Your talking, however, was making Peter lose his mind, he just wanted silence but you kept rambling on about how to do his homework.

“Ahh shit, the pencil is blunt. Do you have a sharpener?” You look at the blunt pencil and then at him.

He then pointed over to his desk top draw, implying that it was in there. You nodded your head, standing up and going over to the draw looking through it to find the sharpener. “I don’t see it” Turning to look at him, seeing him roll his eyes making you gulp.

“It’s in there, look properly” He said, watching you struggle to find it, the noise making his head hurt.

“I don’t think it’s-“ You was cut off by hearing him get up from his bed, stomping over to you and moving you out of the way. He went through the draw and fount it in a old pencil case.

“It’s right here! Open your fucking eyes next time! Fuck sakes, your making my head hurt!” He snapped at you, shouting. He had never ever shouted at you, nor sworn at you before. He then grabbed the pencil sharpening it a bit too hard making it break.

“Sorry” You stand up fiddling with you’re fingers looking into his eyes but not finding any regret in them.

“Stop fucking apologising y/n, that’s all you fucking do. ‘I’m sorry’ just shut up and leave me the fuck alone!” He shouted stepping towards you making you flinch a little as he yelled. You know Peter would never lay a hand on you, but seeing him right now made you scared.

You didn’t want to cry in front of him but you couldn’t help letting a little sob escape your mouth. His angry expression fell a little, now realising what he had said and how scared you looked.

You then pulled out your phone acting as if you had received a message. “Oh, I-I got to g-go, my uhh my mum messaged saying I can’t stay tonight, got plans” You wiped your eyes with yours Peters hoodie, grabbing your bag and throwing it over your shoulder, not daring to meet his eyes.

“y/n, no please don’t go. I’m sorry, Angel.” He grabbed your arm softly, not wanting you to leave, now regretting the way he had just shouted at you. Your his girlfriend, he shouldn’t ever raise his voice at you. He loves you.

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2,114 notes - Posted November 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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deepersea · 2 years ago

Note

why hello there 🧍‍♂️

- shoe (I stumbled onto here by complete accident this feels like when a kid finds their older siblings' playboy magazines)

lmao hello Shoe 😂 welcome, I guess? honestly, I don't use this blog as much, it's just for reblogging stuff that the people who follow my main blog might not want to see. (i hope you're not too shocked by finding my smut archive lmao)

originally I was thinking about posting my own fics here, but I am simply to lazy to bother with making my posts look nice and all that, so ao3 it is.

#lily answers #shoe anon

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lowstakesvampires · 3 months ago

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hmm. results a little too close to 50/50 for my liking, and we only got 11 votes anyway.

so let me go over it and weigh the options against eachother here and see if i can really come to a conclusion.

bonus stuff only:

save the long storylines for later. for the coherency

we've already gone past some of it so it won't be PERFECT sketchbook order

this comic is a sin against mainstream storytelling conventions and we gotta buckle it down a notch

avoiding spoilers?? i guess?? idk what there even is to spoil, this is kinda slice of life vampires

main story bits mixed into it:

twitter basically saw it this way, back when i actively posted there!

sets a precedent that i can post pages from my current sketchbook as i finish them. (at that point i'll also be reblogging these onto my main blog)

chaos is the essence of this comic honestly. at least in a meta sense. i am going about this in a very chaotic way.

like sometimes i come up with stuff that fits In Between existing story bits so honestly a perfectly linear order seems kind of futile at the moment??

the story was an accident to begin with - once i identified it, i started building upon it and fleshing it out more. but overall this is very freestyled!!

okay tbh i already answered my own question here.

also don't worry - at some point, i WILL still do a linear order run! and maybe then another, the next year, with any additional bits added in... there will be specific tags for this also. you will be able to view them chronologically, in a normal linear story order.

but for now, the sketchbook order run is doing pretty alright.

if you're sure you don't want this, you may blacklist the "LS main story" tag.

the linear runs will be tagged with "linear story [year]" so don't worry about it <3

though if you have any thoughts, please let me know in the replies or something!

yet another poll

my queue ran out, and i'm uncertain about how to run this because <3 my comic is a mess <3

so basically, we've started to get to the stuff that's not outdated, and still in the main story!

and obviously, i've written and drawn it out of order, as i've stated many times. and i do plan on posting it all in a linear story order eventually.

#not comics #i called it low stakes for a reason #the stakes are low. for them. and for myself #also vampire pun #:)

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asideinitially · 3 years ago

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Halloween

tasm! X reader; you’ve had a crush on Peter for a long time, but you’ve begun to notice a lot of odd things happening and it's the perfect time to show Peter your Halloween costume.

“Hey, Pete” you called out from your bedroom examining your new Halloween costume. Your best friend Peter Parker came bouncing into your room with a smile. “Wha-“ he stopped his sentence as his gaze fell upon you. You smiled and twirled around in the Spider-Man suit “I had it especially made and fits my curves perfectly” you said examining yourself in the mirror once more. “Y-y-you going as Spiderman for Halloween,” Pete asked nervously licking his lips. You smiled and looked at the nervous boy who now messing with his fingers.

“I was going go as the black cat, but I thought spider women sounded cooler and I look good in the suit,” you said shrugging your shoulders. Pete didn’t know what to say; first, he was admiring your body and how you were right about your curves fitting the suit perfectly; the next thing he noticed was how you got everything right, down to even the Spider-Man material. Pete was amazed and shocked on how well you’ve pulled off this outfit, he was quiet stunned.

The reason you picked Spider-Man more than the black cat wasn’t because you thought the suit looked good on you. Not by a long shot, being peter’s roommate you noticed a few things, like the newspaper of Spider-Man, the accident where he turned your underwear red and blue and kept apologising and went out brought you a new set.

You concluded that Peter was Spider-Man. I mean he’s your best friend, he couldn’t hide everything from you forever. But that wasn’t also the same reason you picked Spider-Man suit, you wanted see how reacted towards you being in his hero costume.

You’ve had a crush on Peter for while now, you’ve tried to bury the feelings for him away, it’s hard. Peter kept mentioning the new girl in his job; her name is Gwen. That’s all he kept talking about, being best friends he asked you a lot of questions and since you were a girl he felt more, comfortable opening up to you about how he could impress her. You did feel a bit of jealousy in your body when he mentioned the “coffee date” they had. But you wanted Peter, more than anything in the world.

“Pete,” you said in a soft voice, he suddenly came out of his daze and walked closer to you. “Yeah, um what’s wrong,” he said with a bit of a stutter, you gave him a low giggle and pushed your hair to the side. “Can you zip me up, I can’t reach”

Holding your hair out of place and feeling Peter's hands on your back moving the zip-up slowly. You felt Pete’s gaze on you.

“Thanks, Peter,” you said with a calm smile and walked past him. Peter blinked before low grumble left his lips and webbing you back to him.

“How you did figure it out” he said pushing strand of your hair away.

A smirk spawned on your lips knowing Peter has figured out your plan and it worked. “Only a couple of months, the red and blue underwear kind of gave it away,” you said smiling softly at him. He licked his lips and traced his thumb over your red lipstick. “You know I didn’t like Gwen right, I thought” he sighed trying to calculate his words. You gave him a big smile before kissing his cheek.

“Peter, I only want you and only you”

Peter smiled and looked into your eyes, and ran his thumb over your cheek slowly.

“By the way,” he said leaning in closer to your face.

You blinked watching him lean closer as his eyes darted to your lips.

“You look sexy in that suit, I mean really sexy.”

You laughed softly and gave him a nod, “thank you Spider-Man”

“No thank you,” he said before crashing his lips onto yours.

I've recently just got over 28 likes and honestly never thought I could reach that many. I thought my blog was going to be a tiny little wisp in the wind that people glanced at. So it means so much to me; so thank you to everyone who likes and reblogs and follows me honestly it means the world. — I’m also having so much fun writing these. 🥹💕

#reader x peter parker #tasm!peter x you #y/n #amazing spiderman #amazingspiderman x reader #cuteness #tasm!peter fluff #halloween #tasm!peter imagine

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freelancearsonist · 4 years ago

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February Fic Recs!

Hi everyone! I’ve realized that part of the problem with interaction within the fic community is that not as many larger creators are doing their part to reblog and recommend fics like they used to when I first joined Tumblr. And while I wouldn’t really consider myself a “large” blog, I still want to do my part to help boost my fellow creators :) So here’s a list of what I read this month!

02.01 // “a letter addressed to the manager of the letter room” by @propertyofabelmorales (Richard Alsonso-Munoz) // I’ve read this at least three times omg because it’s currently the only Richard content we have and it’s wonderfully written and the letter format is unique but really interesting and so fitting given the character so yeah 10/10 please keep ‘em coming Vic 😂

02.02 // “Walls that Come Down” by @houseofthirst (Nathan Bateman) // this made me horny and made me cry at the same time and I think it’s really unfair that you have the power to do that to me tbh 😂 This is so wonderfully written and such a beautiful take on Nathan’s character and ugh lemme go cry in my corner

02.03 // “Meet Me on Endor” by @autumnleaves1991-blog (Poe Dameron) // “You are so beautiful, all the time” made me tear up a little bit because it’s so distinctly Poe and I also horny cried because god I’d give anything for this man

02.04 // “In the Night” by @jawabear (Santiago “Pope” Garcia) // this was emotional and beautiful and sexy all at once and it made me cry a lil bit in bed at 2am and honestly I thank you for it

02.05 // “Something About You And I” by @sacklerscumrag (Poe Dameron) // This was beautifully written and also so so so sexy and I realized I might have a bit of unresolved bondage kink while reading this so thanks for that 😂

02.06 // “The Night That Follows” by @roanniom (Poe Dameron) // I found this kind of by accident and then it turned out to be one of the most beautiful fics I’ve ever read in my life??? I’m seriously like trembling how can someone pack so much talent into one sexy fic I’m—

02.07 // “The Punishment” by @mandorush (Santiago “Pope” Garcia) // This is so fucking sexy what the fuck and then I found out it’s a whole series??? Yeah so needless to say my 2am binge was entirely worth it omg 🤤

02.08 // “Dessert is on the Counter” by @nathan-bateman (Abel Morales) // I read this before you posted to make the moodboard but I’ve legit reread like seven times since then omg. A quality fic in every way. 10/10

02.09 // “Affection” by @wasicskosgirl (Llewyn Davis) // This is one of my all-time favorite fics for my favorite man 😭 everything about this is so cute and I would literally die to snuggle with this sweet boy 😭

02.10 // “Tell Me” by @rebellou (Poe Dameron) // I don’t even know what to say omfg this is one of the hottest things I’ve ever read in my life and I’d like this fic chiseled onto my gravestone so I have something nice to take with me into the afterlife

02.11 // “Romantic Dreams” by @witchyavenger (Santiago “Pope” Garcia) // Yeah I want this holy hell this was so spectacularly written and so sexy and 😩 god I can’t even have kids but I wish he would breed me omg

02.12 // “Pressing Camera Questions” by @youvebeenlivingfictional (Nathan Bateman) // Omg this is so wonderfully constructed, even as something of an introductory piece to this series. I’m so excited to see what comes!

02.13 // “Free Fall” by @michaelperry (Mikael Boghosian) // There’s so little fic for Mikael on this site and so finding this kinda felt like striking gold 😂 especially because it’s so wonderfully writing and so sexy and 🤤

02.14 // #valentines fic tag by @propertyofabelmorales (Literally every Oscar Isaac character) // I got to read so many amazing fics today because of the Valentine’s fic exchange but shit dude you went above and beyond!! I wanted to only plug each author once on this fic rec calendar but there’s no way I couldn’t give you a shout out for this. Even in addition to your piece for the fic exchange you wrote so much incredible fic for literally every character I can think of (including Marcus!!!!!!!!! As I’m writing this you haven’t even posted his yet but I saw his name on the list and I’ve been having heart palpitations ever since) so yeah explore this tag because there’s fic for literally everyone and it’s all so wonderfully written and *chef’s kiss*

02.15 // “ghosts” by @unstoppableforcce (Javier Peña) // This one gave me CHILLS omfg this is just the first part and I was rolling on the ground. Everything about this is so beautifully constructed and haunting and UGH this is amazing 😭

02.16 // “Pretty” by @waatermelon-sugaar (Blue Jones) // Holy shit this unlocked like seven kinks that I didn’t even know I had 🤤 this was so wonderfully written and so sexy and realistic? Idk if that’s a good descriptor but like I could feel everything you were describing sdkfdkfjdkfj I LOVED THIS

02.17 // “home.” By @pascal-isaac (Llewyn Davis) // Look I wish I was kidding when I say that I’ve read this fic upwards of seven times sdkjskdjskd this is one of my all-time favorite fics and it only gets hotter with age 😩 this fic is like a fine wine and I would like to have it inscribed on my tombstone when I inevitably escape from this plane of existence

02.18 // “Turning to the Dark...” by @mylifeisactuallyamess (First Order!Poe Dameron) // If I’m being honest I’m not usually a fan of darker fics but this one worked for me. It was so sexy and honestly kind of beautiful in the way you describe the interrogation and later Poe’s willful turning. I really enjoyed this and will probably read again 🥺

02.19 // “My Best Decision” by @knivesareout (Javier Peña) // Fuck guys I’ve had baby fever like a motherfucker this month and this made it so much worse 😂 Dad!Javi is so fucking cute omg and this fic was SO SEXY and it really hit all of my bases 😩

02.20 // “my sweet baby” by @writingletterstothefire (Santiago “Pope” Garcia) // Look I’ve read this fic 293394 times and it’s good EVERY TIME. Dirty Dancing is the good kush and this fic made my obsession with that movie like 1000 times worse omfg. I read this every time I’m in a bad mood and it just puts a smile on my face so fast omg I would literally beg for a longer version

02.21 // “Sounds of Silence” by @veuliee2 (Orestes) // This fic? This fic right here? Lives rent free in my mind. To the truest capacity of the statement. I wish I was kidding when I say that not a single day goes by where I don’t think about this. I don’t even really know what to call this? Maybe Something along the lines of associates to lovers? Whatever this qualifies as it’s literally one of my absolute favorite fics of all time and I will never forget the way you shattered and mended my heart with one story

02.22 // “Mr. & Mrs. Cooper” by @aellynera (Bud Cooper) // THIS IS BRILLIANT THE ENTIRE WAY THROUGH ok first of all that this is like one of two fics for this character 😂 but also this is the most beautifully, ironically constructed fic ever? Everything about this is entirely grasping and there’s THREE PARTS that are all just as good as the rest and 😩 I literally couldn’t ask for a more perfect fic

02.23 // “Catch” by @ollypopp (Poe Dameron) // This is a short drabble but I had to include it because DAMN this is so sexy and wonderful for such a short piece and I’ll be thinking about this for the next month so thank you 😂

02.24 // “Blooming most recklessly” by @writefightandflightclub (Evgeni Kolpakov) // This is so beautifully written while simultaneously being so sexy???? How do you do it Luna I am forever in awe of your talent 😭 I can just visualize everything he says and does so clearly and I’m so in love with this piece 😭💛

02.25 // “falling for you” by @luminouspoes (Poe Dameron) // This is the cutest thing ever wtf 😭😭 The pining is so strong even though it’s short and it’s just all around so wonderfully written and I must go cry in my corner now

02.26 // “Liability” by @honeymandos (Nathan Bateman) // THIS WAS GORGEOUS WTF I’m crying over some soft Nathan in this house tonight 😭 I was legit so worried for a while that he’d send reader away but then he CAVED and my heart sang hallelujah—

02.27 // “electric spark” by @woakiees (Duke Leto Atreides) // Hi I need everyone to read this please so it can destroy your body and live in your mind and occupy all of your waking thoughts like it does for me k thanks

02.28 // “The Child” by @starryeyedstories (Poe Dameron) // This was the sweetest thing ever what the heck 😭😭😭 I am eternally sobbing over this lil found family-ish vibe and dad!Poe is literally everything I’ve ever wanted and UGH I have to go cry for the next month

#fic rec #february fic recs #poe dameron x reader #santiago garcia x reader #nathan bateman x reader #richard alsonso-munoz x reader #mikael boghosian x reader #javier peña x reader #blue jones x reader #orestes x reader #bud cooper x reader #evgeni kolpakov x reader #leto atreides x reader

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abarbaricyalp · 3 years ago

Note

handholding- 10/12/13

hugs - 34

kisses - 7/13/27

touching - 47

sambucky :)

Buddies, I literally cannot believe I managed to get all of these done without being too repetitive.

Handholding 10: Happily doing everything with one hand if that means they don't have to let go is already posted on my blog and on AO3: ElisabethMonroe: (til i carry you home) Your Hand in My Hand

Reblogging with AO3 links in a second

Kisses 27: Desperate Kisses

Inhale My Soul

(Listen, listen y'all, you don't know how many different universes of them dying and bleeding out in each other's arms y'all aren't reading here. I didn't do that to you. You're welcome)

Dissolving hadn’t felt like anything. Sam wasn’t sure he even understood what was actually happening. Maybe he’d thought it was just a trick of the reality stone. Maybe human minds weren’t meant to comprehend anything close to what had happened.

Coming back felt like dying.

He woke up on his back and he couldn’t breathe. It was like he had no lungs at all, just a trachea spasming in his throat without air, like a gills with no water. He grasped for the ground and the feeling of dirt was horrifying, a grave waiting to swallow him down into the Earth. The wind was knives on his skin. His suit felt like it was trying to pry his spine from his ribs. His legs ached like someone was trying to stretch the bones on a crank.

He must’ve screamed but there was no air to make a noise.

Finally sight came back and the first thing he saw were the trees falling over him, ready to crush him and hide him again.

Had anyone seen him disappear? No one was by his side. No one looked for him.

No, the trees weren’t falling. They were swaying in the wind. The sun kept gliding down through them with every shuffle of the leaves.

It was so quiet he felt like he could hear the leaves sighing as they grew.

It took him too long to realize the ragged breath that broke the silence like a gunshot came from his own chest. The hands digging his own grave shot to his chest, felt the rise and fall of his ribs and lungs, the proof that he was breathing. He was alive again.

He rolled onto his side and heaved until his ribs creaked, still firmly attached to his spine. There was nothing to come up, but the noise was comforting, the ache that he could name and handle was safe. Human. Living human.

His knees were in his legs when he leaned back on his haunches. They sank into the earth but the grave didn’t swallow him down. No unwilling sacrifice to be taken from him. He brought his dirt covered fingers--firm and whole and attached to him--up to his face. He found his cheeks, a beard with edges that were too straight for a man who had died and been put back together, his teeth. They throbbed in his gums like they were all about to fall out but they were there in his head. His tongue.

He could speak.

“Steve!” he shouted and his throat screamed in protest, the air in his lungs turned to fire. “Steve!” he called again and forced himself to his feet. His boots were tied. His pants were still tucked into them. There was no blood, which seemed wrong. He felt flayed open and left to soak into the ground. How could there be no blood?

“Steve!”

God, if Steve was dead…

Sam couldn’t lose more people. He couldn’t fight his way back. Not after this. Not while everything hurt so fucking much.

“Steve, please, God, where are you?!”

“Sam?”

Sam whirled around at the tired voice. The trees danced in his vision. The grass clutched at his legs, which still felt like they were being stretched out and sunk into the earth. The trees were going to take him over. The grass was going to eat him again. No one was looking. No one would find him. Why wasn’t anyone ever looking for him?

“Sam?” the voice called again.

Footsteps. Crushing grass. A metal screech in the bark of a tree. A colorful curse. “Sam, fuck, shout again!”

Sam stumbled forward, breaking free of the natural world trying to take him away again. He shoved himself away from a tree and crashed into a warm, solid, human body.

“Jesus, Sam,” Bucky breathed and wrapped his arms around Sam tightly. It hurt in the best way. Sam held him back, face hidden in Bucky’s shoulder. He didn’t even care about what gore he was smearing all over himself. Bucky’s hand came to the back of Sam’s head and Sam almost expected it to hit exposed brain but it didn’t. Instead his calloused fingers brushed over Sam’s short hair, smoothing over the natural lines and divots in it until goosebumps erupted over Sam’s skin.

Right. Things could feel good. That was part of being human and alive.

He had no idea how long they stood there. His shoulders were aching, but in a pleasant way that reminded him that there was something he loved right in front of him, in his arms.

Bucky was the first to move, stepping back half a step, a quarter of a step, barely any at all, just enough to bring his hands up to either side of Sam’s face. The cheeks and the mouth and the skin that was all there and new again. He tilted Sam’s head back, eyes intense and clear in front of Sam.

Had it not felt the same for him? Was he not grappling with his ridiculously weak claim to existence? Or, fuck, was this how he always felt after being frozen and woken up? Had he been going through this for seventy years with no one to run to? With no one to hold him and remind him that things could feel good?

Sam’s fingers tightened in Bucky’s vest and just as Bucky was starting to say something Sam couldn’t honestly answer--something about how he felt, if anything hurt, if he needed medical attention--Sam hauled him down into a desperate kiss. Their noses smashed together and pain bloomed across Sam’s face, made his eyes water, made him want to sneeze, made him want to lean into it all the more, like the pressed-on-bruise ache of Bucky’s arms around him.

He felt Bucky’s teeth notch a split into Sam’s lip by accident, crushed together with nowhere to go. Finally it softened. Bucky’s mouth pressed against his until Sam felt like he could actually breathe, until he could make his mouth do what he wanted, catch Bucky’s lower lip between both of his, wring out a noise he’d never heard the other man make before. Bucky’s hands on his face kept him close and Sam’s fingers tightened in his vest. He wanted to crawl into Bucky’s chest--felt like, maybe, he could after being unmade and remade. Their noses knocked together again as Sam tried to turn his head, kiss the other side of Bucky’s mouth, let Bucky bruise the rest of his lips.

Bucky pulled away, but didn’t let go of Sam’s face. Cool air flowed into Sam’s lungs until all of his bones and muscles felt like they slotted back into place.

“I can’t tell you how fucking happy I am to see you alive,” Bucky breathed.

We should talk about this. That. Later.

“I thought everyone was gone. I don’t know… I didn’t know how I came back. I thought it was just me.”

Bucky shook his head. “No. There’s hundreds of people. Not everyone, but at least half of us.”

Half of them.

“Oh my God,” Sam said. “Thanos won. He wiped out half of the universe.”

“I think that was us. I think...someone brought us back,” Bucky said. Pain flashed over his face as he looked at Sam and then pulled him in for another kiss. Sam tried to understand a second chance in it, but all he could feel was Bucky and relief and adoration. He wasn’t sure where that one came from more--him or Bucky.

“There’s still a fight,” someone said from behind them. Another magic shithead. Terror clutched at Sam’s chest like magic itself was enough to unmake him again, take him away again. “There’s still a world to save.”

Bucky’s hand found Sam’s between their bodies. Sam took a breath with lungs that almost seemed to work again. “What’re we waiting for then?” he asked.

Kiss 13: Frustrated Kiss

Better Than None

“Barnes, you wanna jump in? Any time’s fine,” Sam called out, though the volume wasn’t actually necessary, since he had an earpiece in and Bucky was only a few feet away, leaned on what was left of a building’s wall.

“Nah, you seem to be handling it just fine,” Bucky called back with a nod.

Sam ducked under the robot arm that had been flung at him. “Barnes, I swear, as soon as I get my hands on you--” he threatened.

“Y’know, normally that gets me going but seein’ as you were so anti-giving me a good luck kiss, I don’t know if I believe you anymore.”

“We don’t have time for this!” Sam threw the shield to cut through seven wire-y necks and caught it at degree 355 of its arc.

“It’s just a kiss. Takes two/tenths of a second,” Bucky said.

“I meant this dumbass argument.” Sam jumped out of the way of an electrical charge and Bucky watched it sail dangerously close to his head.

“Damn, maybe I am lucky without you,” he said and didn’t move at all.

“Bucky,” Sam sighed and ripped the head off of the nearest robot.

“Hot. Wish I could show you my appreciation.”

“How does me not giving you a good luck kiss translate you into not giving me any kisses?”

“It only seems fair. You’re putting my well-being at risk. There should be consequences.”

“That’s not how it works! You’re the one not--” Jesus, he didn’t have time to fall for the bait. He freed a mini-EMP from his utility belt and hurled it at the cluster of robots trying to scale the debris that first responders were using as a barricade to the rest of the street. A few seconds later, the robots fell away, powerless and useless.

“I kind of felt that in my arm,” Bucky said.

Sam growled out a huff and stalked over to Bucky. He shoved the front of the shield against his chest a little roughly and leaned in to kiss him, mostly teeth and irritation. The bastard still looked pleased when Sam pulled away.

“Good luck. Now will you please go do your job?”

Bucky grinned, all teeth and victory, and bolted into action.

Kisses 7: Passionate Kiss

Hand holding 13: Linking hands during s**

Bring Heaven to You

Sam swore he could feel Bucky’s mouth all over him. Every inch of his skin felt electric and alive. Frankenstein’s creature surging to life after a bolt of lightning, every nerve and muscle singing at the same time, overwhelming sensation in the best way. Like a freefall that keep him tethered to the mismatched hands clutching at his hips, his ribs, his chest, his shoulders, his thighs, the backs of his knees. Like Bucky couldn’t decide where he should be shocking Sam back to life either.

Bucky dragged his hand down Sam’s side, flat and steady so Sam could feel the golden band on his finger scorching his skin like it was made of fire. Like vows and rings and heavy promises weren’t enough to prove they belonged to each other, like they needed it written in flesh and blood like everything else about their lives.

Hahahaha, no. The rest is on AO3. Link in the reblog

Hand holding 12: Possessive hand holding

A Green Monster, And No We Don’t Mean The Hulk

“Welcome back to the show, Captain America!” a bubbly, young talk show host greeted. Bucky assumed he’d watched at least a few seconds of the program at some point when he was making it his life mission not to leave his apartment, but he couldn’t place her name for the life of him. “And you brought Mr. Barnes with you!” This she said with much less genuine enthusiasm and didn’t seem all that thrilled to have to look away from Sam to address Bucky.

“Well, you know I can’t stay away too long,” Sam said with a friendly smile. He held out his hand and the host took it in both of hers. It was less a hand shake and more an excuse for her to hang onto Sam, it looked like.

Sam and Bucky sat in the cushy seats for guests and, even though they’d already walked through the staging of this whole farce, Bucky was still deeply tempted to take Sam’s seat so he was between Sam and the host.

“So, Sam, last time we saw each other, you weren’t yet Captain America.”

“Funny how fast things like that can change, right?” Sam asked with twinkling eyes. Bucky wondered if the cameras were bolted down and if he could wrench one free even if they were.

“Well, I think it’s still not soon enough,” the host said and tossed her long hair over her shoulder. “You’ve always been Cap to us here. You’ve been so vocal about your mission statement as Captain America, so I won’t make you repeat yourself.” Sam nodded gratefully, though Bucky knew he’d repeat his goals and wishes until he ran out of breath if it meant one more person heard them and got inspired. “So I thought we could focus on what’s going on behind the scenes with you. Has anything else changed for you since you’ve been back?”

As if coming back to life wasn’t enough.

“Oh, definitely,” Sam said. “Buck and I just finished flipping a house down by my sister. Y’know, we got decent temporary accommodations--Buck still has his in New York--and staying with my sister again was nice, but there’s nothing like having a house to come home to that’s just ours. No pre-teens stealing all the food outta the fridge immediately after grocery shopping.”

The host laughed along with Sam, though her eyes couldn’t quite keep from flickering to Bucky. “It’s fun that you’re rooming with Mr. Barnes. Does it feel like having college roommates again?”

Sam frowned, opened his mouth to answer, ran through a bunch of diplomatic ways to say what should’ve been obvious but wasn’t because this lady was into Sam. Which, like, Bucky couldn’t blame her for. But he was anyway.

He reached over to grab Sam’s hand where it was picking at a loose thread in his pants. “Actually, it’s more like just living with a partner,” he answered for Sam. “That’s something else that’s changed too, huh?” he directed at Sam. “Turns out, with consistent showers and therapy, he thinks I’m pretty charming.”

Sam frowned again and scoffed. “No, I do not. That hasn’t changed.”

The host laughed again, forced but a decent show anyway. “Sure, we all love a good bromance,” she said.

Bucky’s eyebrows shot up.

“Don’t,” Sam warned.

“It’s a lot like a bromance, yeah. Just without the B,” Bucky said. “We kind of figured my name had enough Bs to last us for a while.”

“Sam, are you saying--”

Sam sighed and brought his other hand up to the bridge of his nose. “Unfortunately. And, yeah, he’s always like this. Some kinda puffed up bulldog or something.”

Bucky’s fingers tightened around Sam’s. “You’re my partner. I’m allowed to tell people that.”

“You don’t ever stop telling people.”

“Can’t blame him,” the host pointed out. Okay, maybe some of the hostility was misplaced, Bucky thought. Only some of it. “How did we not know about this, Cap?” she asked jovially, though Bucky thought she was still a little upset.

Sam shrugged. “Guess it’s not as exciting as superheroing. And cameras keep ending up destroyed,” he added pointedly.

Bucky narrowed his eyes at the accusation. “Half the places we go could be classified as an active war zone. It’s not always on me that media cameras get crushed under debris or aliens or something.”

“Every single one that catches you touching my face?”

Bucky shrugged.

“So...how long has this been a thing?” the host asked.

“Since before Sam took the shield. It’s actually a package deal. If you want the shield, you have to have me.”

Sam rolled his eyes and let out another long suffering sigh. “I’m sorry he’s ruining this interview.”

“Oh, no, I’m about to win an investigative journalism prize, I think,” the host laughed.

“I don’t know how investigative it is when your subject is physically incapable of shutting up,” Sam said, looking over at Bucky with a glare and the smallest pout that made Bucky want to kiss it off of his face.

So he did, holding their interlaced fingers next to their face to hide from the cameras at least a little bit.

Hugging 34: Hugging while grabbing butt

Get Sprung

(Man, I meant to put this in the fr@ story and forgot :/ )

The building came down faster than Sam expected it to. He supposed well placed explosives would do that. What happened to uncertain, uneven dynamite? Why was everything electrical and precise nowadays?

He had no idea how Bucky managed to get Sam and the shield bundled in his arms before the ceiling came down. He didn’t know how Bucky had managed to kick a piece of wall upright and then locked his metal arm to hold the shield in place above them. He had no idea how Bucky knew it’d make the perfect alcove for them. For someone who pretended not to know what math was when AJ asked for help on homework, he was very calculation savvy.

Bucky slowly freed his arm from the straps of the shield. The rubble shifted a little, pressed a little closer, and then stilled again. They both let out a small breath. There wasn’t enough room to lay out totally, or to stand fully, but they weren’t being crushed. Bucky’s arm joined the other around Sam’s waist. Sam dropped his face to Bucky’s shoulder and let Bucky’s pulse drum against his cheek for a second.

“Are you grabbing my ass?” he finally asked and Bucky coughed out a startled laugh.

“Yeah, you better hope it’s me and not some darkness monster.”

“Couldn’t blame the monster if it was,” Sam said.

“I gotta make sure it’s still there. Would be a shame to lose America’s ass, y’know.”

Sam shook his head and pulled away from Bucky enough to light up his wristlets. He shook them off and rested them on pieces of concrete and rebar to light the space.

Bucky sank down to the ground, legs bent a little to accommodate the space and Sam followed him down, settling between his legs.

“So, now we wait, huh?” he said, reaching for Bucky’s hands to tangle their fingers together.

“Guess we gotta,” Bucky agreed. “Are you hurt?”

Sam shook his head. There was still a ringing in his ears from the explosion and he was sore from Bucky tackling him out of the way, but nothing felt crushed or cut or broken. “You?”

“I’m fine,” Bucky said and then let out a breath at Sam’s arched brow. “I mean it. I’m not playing tough or anything. We got lucky. It came down on us, not sideways into us. I think there’s something lodged between the plates in my arm, but I don’t want you to do anything about it until we’re safe. It’s functional right now. I don’t need to be down an arm if we have to dig out.”

“We’re not gonna have to dig out,” Sam said. “Torres’ll track Redwing to us.”

“How’s your dumb robot?”

Sam reached for a wristlet and navigated to the Redwing menu. “Operational. Some exterior dinging, but nothing serious. He’ll be functional if we need.” Sam set the wristlet aside again and sighed. “Fuck, that was close, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah. C’mere,” Bucky said, opening his arms. Sam shifted forward on his knees and leaned against Bucky’s chest, hugging him close. “‘M glad you’re okay,” Bucky murmured, lips brushing Sam’s temple.

Sam nodded and rubbed Bucky’s waist for a second. “Buck?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re grabbing my ass again.”

“I know.”

“Alright.”

Touch 47: Touching their elbow to get their attention

Quiet Birds Circling in Flight

(Jeez, the only thing that came to mind for ages on this prompt involved a spaceship but these men have SEEN aliens and spaceships so that’s not as fun :(((((( )

Sam stood outside the cenotaph long after everyone else had left the service. And that was quite the feat in and of itself. It felt like the mourning could go on for years. There’d been enough tears around him that he wasn’t sure what his own would add to the spectacle.

To everyone else, the cenotaph was a mausoleum. But Sam had been next to Bucky when he told the military to quietly bury him in the cemetery where his parents were both buried. “You know,” Bucky had said one afternoon while they watched the cenotaph being built stone by stone, engraving by engraving, “I’d wager that most mausoleums are just cenotaphs. Grave robbing and reactions to grave robbing mean probably everyone just got moved somewhere safer.”

“Plus decomposition.”

“Well, shit, Wilson. When do you stop being you after death? When does dirt become dirt again? When isn’t it your resting place? Does it even matter where your body is when alls said and done? Is that ever actually you or just a space filler?”

Sam had elbowed Bucky’s ribs and they’d each taken a piece of stone and pretended they didn’t see.

Sam weighed the shield against his shin, knocking it slightly to the side, and then looked up at the stone one ten more feet above his head.

Steve would hate this so much. Sam felt like he could feel his raging blush from the after life. Sam and Bucky had both asked for something more muted, something quieter. Hell, something that would do good for the world Steve was always trying to save. All this money and work and art, for what? A place to take pictures for likes on the internet?

No, Sam had to remind himself, it was a place for memory too.

As much as Sam kind of hated the whole thing, he couldn’t deny that looking up at the effigy of his friend inspired him the same way glancing over at him had in life too. The words wrapping around and around the base of the cenotaph sparked the same intense pride and righteousness they had the first time he heard them.

Maybe he didn’t hate the cenotaph. Maybe he just wanted the real thing back.

He startled at a gentle touch at his elbow. He thought it might’ve been another mourner come to offer condolences, though those mostly went to Bucky when someone was brave enough to approach him. Most people hadn’t looked at Sam twice. Not when Captain America was, in theory, laying in rest thirty feet beyond.

Sam was not in the mood to listen to anyone else talk about the time Steve smiled at them in a cafe or grabbed their cat out of a tree. If he heard his name again, he was going to break down.

But he had the shield now. He had to do the things Steve did. Smile when he didn’t want to. Hide any sign of weakness, lest it reflect poorly on the red, white, and blue he carried now. So he ground his teeth together until his gums ached and turned with a screwed on smile.

But it wasn’t a mourner. Not a random one anyway.

Bucky still had his fingers on Sam’s elbow, a sad look on his face. Dawn was creeping over the horizon and Sam realized with a start and a bloom of despair in his stomach that he’d spent the entire night in the park.

“Think if we wait two more days he’ll shove that stupid stone shield out of the way and come out?” Sam asked, voice wavering like a flag in the wind.

“We would literally never hear the end of it if he did,” Bucky pointed out.

Neither of them smiled. Neither of them really meant their jokes.

Sam finally broke down.

He collapsed against Bucky’s chest. It wasn’t until he lost his breath in the middle of a sob that he realized he wasn’t the only one shaking. Bucky was crying too. They clutched at each other, both terrified they might drift away, that the other might decide this was too difficult too and go back to something better at the first opportunity.

Sam didn’t even blame Steve. He’d laid awake in the temporary accommodation the government had put him up in and tried to convince himself that if he was in Steve’s shoes, he wouldn’t have saved Riley and stayed in that timeline. But he couldn’t. He knew he would have, almost certainly. And it wasn’t fair to ask Steve to give up a happy, quiet ending after more than a century of fighting and hurting.

But understanding it and accepting it didn’t make it hurt any less. “What are we supposed to do, Bucky?” he asked with an irritatingly genuine hiccup at the end of his words.

“I don’t know,” Bucky said, sounding for all the world like he was grinding his teeth together, trying to pull himself back together. “You have a lot more options than me.”

And it was true. Sam had had a job. The Air Force had reached out since he’d been back stateside. He had a family who missed him, who he missed. But it felt like something heavy and tethering had been locked away in that empty cenotaph. He didn’t want to walk away yet.

Bucky stepped back, kept a hand on Sam’s elbow. “For now, we should get back home. You need to sleep.”

Sam didn’t want to sleep. Everything hurt too much.

“Sam, come on,” Bucky insisted. “You don’t have to make any decisions right now.We could both use a few hours of being quiet, right?

Sam reached up to wipe the tears from his face. He had the shield. He had to act like it. “My place or yours?” he asked, still watery.

Bucky pretended like he didn’t notice. “Yours is nicer than mine.”

“And I have a bed.”

“I have a bed.”

“It’s unassembled in a box.”

Bucky squeezed his elbow and then tugged him into a brief hug that Sam was pretty sure they’d never speak of again. “Let’s get out of here. He’s not goin’ nowhere.”

Sam rubbed at his face again and nodded. “We-- We should order in. When’s the last time you ate?” he asked as they walked away.

“I had a better breakfast than you.”

“You didn’t have to give a speech.”

“Yeah, I’m surprised you didn’t throw up in front of everyone.”

“Shut up, I’m a great public speaker.”

“Sure, Wilson.”

“Screw you, Barnes.”

The dawn bloomed before them.

Do not stand

By my grave, and weep.

I am not there,

I do not sleep—

I am the thousand winds that blow

I am the diamond glints in snow

I am the sunlight on ripened grain,

I am the gentle, autumn rain.

As you awake with morning’s hush,

I am the swift, up-flinging rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight,

I am the day transcending night.

Do not stand

By my grave, and cry—

I am not there,

I did not die.

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #captain america #sambucky fanfic #writing #i answer things #the falcon and the winter soldier #prompt answers

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taeswurld · 4 years ago

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Ace VIII [Stinky]

pairing: bakugo x fem!reader

genre: humor, romance

TW: violence, cursing, angst, fluff

Summary:

Shifting into My Hero was a total mistake, all those tiktoks you watched on a daily about shifting somehow convinced your brain to take part. Now the question is how to wake up, and most importantly, DON’T GET ATTACHED TO STUPID DRAWINGS!

A/N:

Yuhhhhh I KNOW IT’S LATE DON’T GET MAD AT ME, but i made a new chapter. Reblog and like for clear skin hotties!

{ACE MASTERLIST}

“Hey guys, thanks.”

All three boys, including the dog, turned their heads to you, simultaneously tilting their heads.

“For what?” Midoriya asked.

“I don’t know if I’m going to wake up in the morning forgetting everyday about this day and like what happened,” you began. “But I wanna say thanks for making me really comfortable and sticking with me throughout the day.” You said, giving them the sweetest smile you could muster.

You really did have a lot to be grateful for. You got shifted in a world where everyone helped you figure things out as patiently as possible. You could’ve shifted into an anime where everyone hates each other, or worse, you could’ve shifted into AOT, and got your ass eat by naked, ugly, weirdly built humans.

“Tch, don’t mention it dumbass. We were just doing our jobs.” Bakugou said grumpily, holding a small, barley-there blush on his cheeks.

“We’ll miss you, Y/N. This version of you is way more expressive and, well how do I say this,-” Todoroki stopped to think.

“Bitchy?” Bakugou finished with a shit-eating smirk on his face.

“I was gonna say open, but that works too.” Todoroki said with a grin on his face.

“Hey! I thought you were my friend Todo!” You pouted.

“And what the fuck am I? Chopped liver?” Bakugou said, offended you didn't even care about his comment.

“I don’t really give a shit about your opinion. You’re like, rude.” You said, with a small sneer on your face.

Bakugou just clicked his tongue and looked away.

To be quite honest, he didn’t know what to say. Old you was so calm and quiet, but now you’re showing that spunk he always knew was inside of you. Not that he didn’t miss the less expressive you, but it was always so hard to come out of your shell. And now, you’re engaging in banter with stupid Deku and Half-and-Half.

He was getting a little jealous to be quite honest with himself.

Usually, this side of you was always so reserved, only showing when he would pick small, meaningless fights with you during training, and then again when you two were locked in his room, murmuring sweet nothings and jokes into each other’s ears, sneaking small kisses every now and then.

It absolutely killed him to see you like this. You weren’t by his side, holding onto his shirt, having your stupid mutt trail behind you two. Cuddling in each other’s arms during days when the class went out, watch sappy Disney movies with Hiro laying in between you two.

And it utterly killed him every time he saw a small blush on your cheeks after engaging in jokes with Midoriya and Todoroki.

But he never looked long enough to see you were slightly blushing at his words too.

He wishes you would hurry up and remember all your memories with him so his nightmare could end.

The nightmare of not belonging to each other anymore.

“Hey, you good dude?” Midoriya said, giving Bakugou a small shove.

He knew of the small relationship you two had, after accidentally catching Bakugou slipping and saying your pet names, or sneaking in a forehead kiss before a huge battle. The guy was way more observant than what people credited him for.

“Yeah shitty nerd, I’m good. Not my place to tell her what to do. Hopefully this shit passes by morning.” He whispered back, not wanting you getting curious and overhearing.

“Hey, everything’s gonna be good. Our Y/N will be back, and hopefully shit will go back to normal. Or as normal as shit gets,” Midoriya said with a small smile growing on his face, trying to reassure his friend as much as he could.

To be honest, he was also quite worried too.

All throughout the day, you kept giving Kacchan looks of annoyance and sometimes even hatred, a complete 180 of your relationship before. But honestly, your behavior has been on edge for a few days now, and before today, he doesn’t think you’ve been on speaking terms with Kacchan for at least 2 days before your accident.

He knows if they don’t figure something out to get you to remember all your memories with Kacchan, shit could get twisted really fast. The worst part is, that the only way to remember, is if Kacchan stops being such a little bitch and tells you everything.

Which, unfortunately for the three of you, probably won't happen any time soon due to this man having the emotional strength of a pea.

“Hey guys, I’m gonna go get started on that shower, I need to clean up before I stink up the dorms” Midoriya said, sniffing his shirt, giving a small grimace at the smell, parting from the group.

“Me too, shoutout my name is you guys need anything. Especially you, Y/N.” Todoroki said, walking away to go get cleaned up.

Another thing, everyone knows you are one, if not, THE prettiest girl in the class. This doesn't go unnoticed by your classmates, especially the boys. Almost everyone’s asked you out at least one, either jokingly or seriously. Having a super quirk doesn’t exactly diffuse the situation, if anything, people are even more attracted to you.

Bakugou was always worried you would leave him for someone else, whether that be someone else in your class, or some extra in another class. You would always reassure him you would never and that you only have eyes from him, but with your relationship being pretty much nonexistent at this point, his insecurity levels are through the roof.

Doesn't help that Todoroki is one of the boys who find you attractive. Midoriya did too, at one point, but the shitty nerd knew better and instantly backed off when he found out you two were an item.

“She won't, don't worry,” Bakugou growled at Todoroki. “Go take a stupid shower too, idiot. You stink.” He said turning to you with a bit less malice in his voice.

“Can you stop calling me mean nicknames and use names that won’t feed onto my insecurities.” You reprimanded, annoyed he kept giving you a shitty attitude.

“Alright, sweetheart,” He smirked. “Will the princess be a good girl and take a shower?” He said in raspy, deep voice.

After scowling and flipping him off, you departed with a ‘fuck you’ and went to wash up.

With a victorious smirk on his face, knowing you probably got a little flustered from his words, he looked down to see Hiro staring up at him.

“I’m not calling you cute shitty nicknames. You're fucking ugly.” He said, looking down at your furry companion.

Giving a small growl at Bakugou’s words, Hiro walked away to join you.

“Shitty dog,” he said, with a small smile on his face.

TAGLIST :

lanaxians-2

soft-levi-girl-

blogladymidnight77

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actor-mark · 4 years ago

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Red Candles Pt 14

OOC: How to vote: Send your choice in an ask to this blog. Comments, reblogs and dms will not count as I do not get notifications for them nor do I want to screenshot from several places. I’ve spotted a couple of older choices coming through, please make sure to check by the blog to be up to date with the latest post! Thank you! Oof got another long one for ya

----------------------------------------------------------------

Trouble? Touch Me!

It’s a long shot but honestly right now you’ll take anything. Going to prison doesn’t sound like a great time, and you’ve been through hell already you don’t need to go crawling up Fire escapes trying to out run the Detective. That graffiti on the wall? Oh you know already exactly who that is, and what it’ll do!

Without a beat you bolt, and the sweaty detective Is fats on your heels “HEY!! OHH NO! NOT THIS TIME PAL! GET BACK HERE!” Fast as your tired legs will carry you, you rush for the ridiculous graffiti and go to slam your haNd on the Stache, but end up falling straight through it like some sort of Super Mario 64 painting!

With a jolt of static you gasp for air, panting from the run, finDing yourself in a make up room backstage somewhere. Gaudy game show music blasts through the walls. Oh shit- You’re late for the show!! Or are you early?

There’s a sudden ruckus of screaming, loud explosive bangs and eventually yelling before a dark haired woman comes storming back stage “I’ve had enough. I’m done. I do NOT get paid enough for this. This is the LAST ti-” She pauses seeing you standing in the backstage room “Oh!- er.. Hello! Have you been back here this whole time? So so sorry, I know you were waiting to go on, shows cancelled.. AGAIN”

A sheepish face with bright pink mustacHe pokes his head around the corner “am I fired?” The producer gives a growling sigh of frustration before storming off again, “we’ll see...” but not before giving you a smile “Have a good day” The door slams shut behind her

Mr Warfstache sort of pauses before looking to you, a bit flustered for a second before he hurries over. For gods sake Wilford whEre’s your pants? Every damn time! At least he has good taste in boxers.. These have pink unicorns on.

“ah so sawry friend! Looks like the show didn’t go so well. I’m not sure whyyy. All I did was get rid of a pesky mosquito...” He pauSes at the sound of a small bell dinging from the stage but he wafts a hand at it. He’ll get it later. “Ah Sawry to keep you waiting-” “OFFICE!!!” the producers voice yells from behind the door to your left and its weird but you feel a sense of Deja Vu going on somewhere. Wilford quickly hurries off to the office, leaving you alone again backstage.

Well... At least Abe isn’t around to arrest you now... You take a moment tO peer around while listening to the absolute reeming that Wilford is getting. blah blah stop shooting guests blah blah it was an accident blah blah i don’t wanna hear it blah blah im sorry blah blah cant believe I’m giving yoU another chance.

The door opened again with an exasperated producer storming out with their bag and Wilford waddling out looking Like a grounded child. “.... Well... I spose I awta send you hommme- ah unless!” His mood immediately brightened as he perked up “You’re here for something else!” A lil stache waggle and he leaned closer “Hmmm.. Tabaco, whiskey, bawdy odor and -” snifffffffffffff! “a hint of cotton candy- WHY YOU MUST KNOW MY FRIEND THE DETECTIVE!” You glance around to where you’d come through the graffiti, its gone, just a sofa behind you now. you glance back and Wilford’s gone. A quick glance around, you spin full circle shake your head- how in the hell did you end up in the detective’S office. Aw crap! ...ɥⅎ ɯɹʅꝹ

“AAAAABE!” The Detective looking forlorn at the loss of another suspect suddenly scrambles up out of his chair, gun in hand “WHAH!- Y-YOU!” The gun aims at Wilford, his eyes flash to you. “YOU!!!!” The gun changes onto you instead and you quickly put your hands up. “How did you-.. never mind I’m not gonna ask! Nice of you to step right into my office!” “You redecorated!” Wilford grinned brightly as he took a tour around the no longer black and white office, sure it was a ruddy brown mostly but hey brown was a color! In fact brown tended to be all colors mixed into one! It seemed to actually bright a little more colorfully wherever Wilford was stood though. “You keep your hands where I can see ‘em” Abe yelled at you with a point of the gun before keeping it fixed on the bigger threat. Warfstache.

“You’re not getting away from me this time! You walked right into the lions den, PAL!” “You have kittens!?” Wilford immediately started to hunt around. “What- n- no! Its a meta-” “AWWW! THEYRE SO CUTE!” “Wait wha-” Wilford emerged from the corner of the room holding two calico kittens, grinning like an idiot. “Where in the-” Abe glances to yOu with a look of utter confusion and you returned it with a shrug. Abe quickly put the gun on Wilford again but his grips Faltering now, can’t shoot a guy holding kittens!

As Wilford moved around showing the kitTens to a flustered frustrated detective who can’t help but pet one, you notice the gun and knife on Wilford’s person. Of course he has one of each but- wait... so do you. You have a knife still. Carefully you draw it from your bag. If you’re gonna be trapped in here its best to be armed...

𝑆𝑝𝑎𝑎𝑠𝑙 𝑌ℎ𝑖𝑖𝑝𝑎, 𝑘𝑝𝑘 𝑓𝑣𝑏 𝑛𝑙𝑎 𝑠𝑣𝑧𝑎? You shake your head and look around the office again. Abe seems pretty distracted and while the graffiti did lead you on a bit of a run around, it’s put you back on a path...somewhere.. Maybe not too far away from your objective. You could probably sneak away tHrough the door and leave these two to their long heated rivalry...and kittens. Abe probably wouldn’t even notice, hell maybe ole Warfy is actually doing exactly what you need, Abe’s back is to the door and you right now and Wilford actually seems to be keeping him like that. He gives a lil Stache waggle and wink to you over Abe’s shoulder and goes back to fussing over names for the kittens. “How about Terrance and Arty?” “Aww I like Bubbles and Muttonchops!” “What- th-those are terrible!”

Slowly but carefully you inch your way out of the office to head into the rest of the station, there’s a bit of a fizzling noise as you pass through the door into the kitchen and as you turn around- wait...

You stare at the new area you’ve been warped into and your shoulder sink. Does this crap ever end? One after another. It’s getting nauseating! With a heaved sigh you take a look around.. again... Clean white walls, floors, ceiling, a bed, night stand, an I.V. polE. Hospital.

𝑃𝑚𝑥𝑥𝑝𝑖 𝑉𝑒𝑓𝑓𝑚𝑥 𝑗𝑠𝑦𝑟ℎ 𝑥𝑙𝑖 𝑔𝑒𝑣𝑣𝑠𝑥!

With a sigh you carefully move to the Door, opening it to peer out to the left, to the right. DArk? It’s so Dark you can barely see, but thankfully it seeMs you’re in luck. The light on the wall opposite you is flickeriNg in sort of an arrow shapE pointing to the left. Though there is also an arrow pointing right that says EXIT. Each path seems to leaD to a Dark hallway...

Your Choices Are As Follows:

Glitchy Arrow Maybe it’s a sign? Well- it IS a sign, a literal sign.. but y’know maybe a figurative sign too! The sign reads Elevator and Stairs.

Exit Hospital? Hell no! Get me out of here! Who knows what kind of crazy Doctors are running around this place. ʌɥⅎʅs ʍzu ʌsƃ ɯɹ ᴉʌǝʌᴉʅn ɥⅎ ɯɹʅꝹ

OOC: We had a tie breaker today folks! I ended up asking a friend who hears a lot of my planning to pick one and they picked Stache. Also I believe we’re quickly coming to the close here folks! I wanna thank you all again for a fun adventure! I might do another one once this is done if folks still wanna do these! Let me know in your next asks if you’d be interested in another! Extra vote from Sparkplugmedia: Trouble? Touch Me!

#actor mark #markiplier #red candles #red candles part 14 #red candles cyoa #cyoa #choose your own adventure #ask actor mark #ahwm #adwm #wkm #wilford warfstache #abe the detective #darkiplier

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roguerogerss · 4 years ago

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A Hard Day’s Night

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Plot: You’re just about to go to bed, when you get an unsuspected visit from a certain supersoldier.

W/C: 2.2k

Warnings: angst, mentions of blood/injury, language, fluff.

(A/N: Hello again! Here’s another Bucky fic bbys! This has been unfinished in my drafts for the LONGEST time, and I finally got around to finishing it! Thank you so much for the support on ‘Safe Haven’! It really means the world to a small blog like me that people r enjoying my shtuffff. If you enjoy, pls remember to like and reblog! Feedback is always welcomed and appreciated!)

--------

It was three in the morning, and the sky had gone a shade of dark blue when I finally decided that maybe it would be a good time to sleep. I was notorious for not turning the TV off before going to bed, and that night was no different. It was a comfort thing, even though I was fully aware that it was racking up electricity bills, and that I’d be sorry for it at the end of the month.

When I rounded the corner, from the hallway to my bedroom, the only source of light was coming from the still-open curtains, which I didn’t bother to close before getting changed. No one was awake, and I figured that, if anyone was, they might as well have looked. I set an alarm for ten, even though I knew that I would blank it and wake up closer to two in the afternoon anyway, and then I lay on my bed and looked at the ceiling.

It was quiet, peaceful, tranquil. I enjoyed being awake at ungodly hours because it meant that, while I was awake, the world was asleep. I felt superior, like I’d beaten the system and was on an entirely different wavelength from the rest of New York City. Like the birds that I could hear in the distance were my only concerns, and that they were the only ones who truly understood me in of myself. I could’ve laughed at myself for sounding so philosophical in my own head, but I didn’t.

The silence was soothing and unbroken until, was that? No, it couldn’t be. Grunts? Groaning? My face contorted as I listened to whatever the noise was getting closer to my window. It didn’t so much as scare me, it was more worrying. I sat up just in time for my window to be slid open from the outside, not noticing the blur of silver metal and flesh in my state of panic. I was on the verge of picking up the lamp that sat next to my bed to whack the creature with, before the all too familiar figure hopped onto my windowsill and the fear that I was feeling was alleviated.

Bucky motherfucking Barnes.

He held his hands out to me, like he was surrendering, but he still had this grin on his face that he knew could make me melt. I hated him for not knocking, even though I knew that he didn’t knock, that he never had and probably never would. He simply let himself in, and, most nights - all nights - I was okay with that.

“Hey.” Bucky said. He said it so passively, like he hadn't just climbed twelve floors so that he could crawl through my window. Like he hadn't just done it without breaking a sweat. Like this wasn't the first time I'd seen him in almost a month, and it wasn't nearly four AM.

"What are you doing?" I sighed. I sat back down and admired him in his place, with his back against the window frame. He was attractive at all times, from all angles, but I liked him best in the low light of the early hours of the morning. The hollows of his cheekbones and jaw seemed more visible, chiseled, and his skin seemed perfect and unflawed. It was almost like the scars and blemishes that he'd acquired from past missions and suchlike simply ceased to exist. His eyes seemed brighter, more blue, with the way that the dim light reflected in them.

"I know you're probably mad." He pulled one knee up to his chest, circling his arms around it, and stretched his other leg out so that his foot was touching the other side of the window frame. "I don't expect you to be fine with me. Was on a mission, three weeks long, that's why I haven't been around. I know it's late, but I needed to see you as soon as I could."

I stayed quiet as I tilted my head back to look up at the ceiling. There were little patterns on it that I hadn't noticed before. They were faint, because the building was old, and I tried to decipher what they might be. I made a mental note to myself to try to figure out what they were at some other point.

"I would've called, but I was pretty badly hurt and tired most nights. Thought seeing me like that might've upset you." Bucky continued, but I still didn't speak. I didn't want to. I thought maybe I wanted to be mad, wanted some reason to be, but now that he'd given me nothing, I decided to do the same.

"Can you say something? Anything, please?"

I took a shaky breath. It was supposed to be deep, long, but my lungs felt shallow and like they had shrunk in capacity. "I would've liked it if you'd called. Would've been nice to see you."

I was being cold with him and I knew that I was, it was no coincidence and certainly no accident. My eyes were still fixated on the ceiling, trying to concentrate on the unknown patterns instead of Bucky. "Would've been nice to see me?"

I nodded, feeling stupid and like I could've cried, and Bucky scoffed in response. "Tell me, you think it would've been nice to see this?"

Bucky's flesh hand went to the side of his burgundy shirt, which I had seen before, and pulled it up just enough for me to see a large, swollen, red gash on his side. I knew that he'd been slashed by a knife, just from the look of it, but I looked away because I didn't want to see it.

I blinked down at my lap, and shook my head, at a loss for words and really just wanting to go to sleep. It was getting light outside, the intensity of the bird's screeching and bickering becoming increasingly more as the conversation went on.

"Of course you don't. Why would you?" Bucky sounded angry, like I'd personally offended him by not wanting to see the obscene laceration to his side.

"You could've still called. It's not obligatory for you to show me your wounds, in all of their glory."

"I heal overnight, sweetheart. If you get in a fight with someone, and they pull a knife on you, you're always left with more than one cut. And let's not forget that we never had any time to shower, so I was all dust and dirt and dried blood, plus a few stab wounds. Couldn't speak for a week, either, stabbed in the base of the neck and severed my vocal chords. Dr Cho managed to fix 'em up." Bucky had been staring out of the window, at the sky, which was orange and blue due to the rising sun, for the entire time that we'd been speaking. He hadn't looked at me at all, like he was trying to keep his composure and, if he saw my face, he'd lose it.

"Tell me, honestly, would you have wanted to see me like that?" I loved his voice. It was raspy and deep, but still managed to relax me, even when his words were harsh. Hearing him speak took me back to countless nights in my bed, when I'd be woken up by nightmares and Bucky would lull me back to sleep by simply telling me one of his stories from the 1940s. I was like a baby, latching onto his every word until they blurred together, became one, and I fell asleep in his arms.

"You could've texted." I said, lamely.

"Sorry."

"Don't be." I was done with the argument, and I made that clear in my voice and in my words. I wasn't unbothered by the situation at hand, that he hadn't visited, or called, that he'd seemingly forgotten about my existence and fallen off the face of the earth for three weeks, but I was so tired. All I could think about was going to sleep, but I wanted Bucky to be there beside me when I did.

"Are we okay now?" There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice, and a smirk adorned his face as he took his first look of the night in my direction. It wasn't a big gesture, but the look that he had about him made my heart flutter and beat erratically within the confines of my chest.

I smiled and lay back on my bed, with my hands clasped over my abdomen, ankles crossed, and head lulled back into the white pillows that were placed at the headboard. "Get changed and come here." I pointed to the white dresser that sat at the foot of my bed, and Bucky knew that I was asking him to stay the night, but he didn't seem to want to leave.

He got up, and I heard the heavy thumps of his combat boots against the floor. His footsteps were so loud and it was so late that I was sure that the couple who lived in the apartment directly below mine would complain about the noise the next morning. I heard Bucky opening the drawer, the one that was inexplicably his drawer, and I propped my head up on my hand to watch him.

He peeled his shirt off, inspected the gash on his side — which was already beginning to knit itself shut — and then discarded of his cargo pants and black boots somewhere on the floor of my bedroom. I didn't mind, instead, I watched the muscles in his back flex deliciously as he pulled on a pair of basketball shorts that I kept for when he stayed over.

I had one of his shirts, but he didn't bother putting it on for whatever reason, tiredness or just a general lack of desire to wear one. "It's rude to stare." He turned around, and a smirk tugged at the corners of his lips as he crawled towards me from the end of my bed.

Bucky placed a hand on my stomach, hiking up the big shirt that I was wearing so that he could press a kiss to the space above my belly button, the space below it, my hipbones over the pink and white cotton panties that I had on, the insides and outsides of my thighs, the backs of my knees. And then he pushed my legs open and lay between them, sighing as he buried his face in my chest.

One of my hands found his long, dark hair, which was freshly washed and smelled like apples, and the other found his jaw, clean shaven, soft.

"It's four in the morning." My fingers massaged Bucky's scalp while I stated the nonsensical words. I was unaware of what they were supposed to mean, what I wanted him to take from them, but I allowed him to interpret them in whatever way he wanted.

"Mm." Bucky hummed, like he was content or half-asleep, and then he propped his chin lightly on my stomach and looked up at me through his thick, dark lashes. His eyes were so striking that I couldn't help the way that my breath hitched, the way my tongue came out to wet my bottom lip, the way that I felt like butterflies were going berserk in my stomach. "What, you wanna sleep?"

“If that's not too much to ask." I giggled, watching intently as Bucky's eyes flicked over my face and his lips twitched in a tiny smile. He shook his head and kissed my collarbone, before rolling off of me and onto his side. I turned over to face him, and he held my face in his hands and smiled.

"'Course not. I haven't slept properly in weeks." He tugged my face towards his, looked at me with that lopsided grin that set butterflies loose in my stomach, and then captured my lips with his own. It was a sloppy kiss, one that indicated how tired we both were, but it felt nice. Nice to have him back, nice to have finally stopped arguing, nice to be laying in his arms. It just felt nice.

Bucky pulled back, as if to admire me in all of my half-asleep-messy-haired glory, and grinned lazily. “Goodnight, beautiful.” He dragged the comforter up to both of our chins and pulled me close, kissing me on the forehead then. “Sweet dreams.”

I sighed happily, the relief of Bucky being there making my heart swell. It was the same relief that came with Bucky’s return from any mission, whether it was long or short, or whether he had contacted me during it or not. I’d missed him - I always missed him - as much as I liked to pretend that I didn’t.

But he was home, he was here, and he made it clear that he wasn’t going anywhere.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #marvel #sebastian stan #captain america #fanfic #sebastian stan x reader #steve rogers #mcu fic #rogue writes #rogue does marvel

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amaskofmanyshades-archive · 4 years ago

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AMOMS Explains: Possession

Ah, possession. What’s a good horror movie about demonic forces without at least one poor schmuck becoming some demon’s plaything? Well, honestly, quite terrifying--but only if utilized correctly. Tonight, i’m gonna explain what it is (as if some of y’all don’t know what possession is) and the many types of possession that can occur.

I had a post like this on another blog...but sadly, that was deleted by accident and i completely forgot to reblog it here. Oops.

Anyway? What is possession?

Well, putting it quite bluntly to all my newbie horror writers out there, it’s the act of seizing or taking over the body, usual via some supernatural force. Demons are probably one of the most well known for doing this, from the Deadites of The Evil Dead to Pazuzu from the 1973 film The Exorcist.

However, it’s not just a demonically exclusive thing. Ghosts and deities, be they regular deities or eldritch, can also use a human like a meat puppet.

Now, onto the different types of possession --

Possession of an inanimate object - this is can usually take the form of the host taking over a human-like object, like a doll, but this can sometimes be just about anything. A great example is Annabelle the Doll from the Conjuring.

Possession of a human being via demon/spirit - Probably the most common type of possession. From The Evil Dead to The Exorcist and maybe more, this one is like playing Russian Roulette, depending on what you get. Demons are likely your most dangerous bet, as they can easily kill the vessel they possess at the given time, whether intentionally like a hostage or unintentionally.

Soul Binding - This one is actually a fairly new concept of possession, but it’s also one of the hardest to really release someone from. Simply because it involves two things: a deal and, you guessed it, the entity essentially binding themselves to whomever the person is. The only real prominent example i can provide is from a longtime RP partner that i’ve known from many, many years now: @chaoticaofthesun‘s Jaye Wylde. Seriously. Go bug her about the demon lady. You shall not regret it. UwU

Possession of a human via a God - Pretty damn dangerous depending on what it is that’s in the human’s body. While most Gods can take on a human guise to wander the Earth as freely as they’d so desire, some don’t have this option. The Eldritch are such an example as merely viewing them for what they are will drive the sanest of men insane. So, they use humans as a means to safely traverse the Earth, as doing so via their true form could mean the fabric of reality is ripped to shreds, but that doesn’t necessarily MEAN it’s a good idea. Doing so can put the person’s psyche at collateral and exorcising them could spell instant insanity and other horrible after affects. But, the most dangerous of this, neck and neck with Eldritch possession is possession via a Death God. But more of this later; i may cover that at a later time. I have a small surprise later on closer to Halloween in this regard. >:3

Total Vessel Possession - Probably the highest form of possession. When the soul of a vessel is no longer occupying the body and the body is but a hollow shell. Typically, higher up demons will resort to this method so that they can easily come to the human realm. As of now, only Mercedes is able to do this but will only perform this will those she deems worthy of her gift. After all, there is a reason why she was given the nickname of ‘She with Hands Most Deft’.

But Steeeeeph! How would you go about exorcising someone from any of these?

Alright, alright, hold yer horses a moment. There are a couple of ways of going about it!

You could call a priest in to help with the ritual. Depending on the circumstances, this could go down two different way. It might work, or it could end up possessing the poor sod and pulling a Father Karras.

In the sense of a demonic possession, the first thing you wanna do is be respectful to the demon in the room. The last thing you really wanna do is piss it off and potentially end up dead or your buddy end up worse off than they likely were to begin with. Sometimes, it can end up as a version of a hostage situation. If so, follow what the damn thing says. More than likely, if you do, the demon will have no choice but to abide by their end of the deal; Demons are usually very honest and value honesty above all else. I say usually, as some may twist the meanings of certain things, thus spinning a half-truth.

If anything else, you might have to perform a mercy kill, as sad as that is; however, this all depends on what it is. A god or eldritch deity? Probably not the easiest thing to off. A demonically possessed soul? A little easier, if the host doesn’t do that for you.

With Soul-Binding, however, it’s a touch bit harder than just a simple exorcism. You must understand: the soul of the demon and the human in question is bound together. The soul does NOT regenerate after the fact, and attempting to do so as such will royally fuck the person up mentally. They have to want their body back, so it’s not something that’s fixed by normal means.

With an eldritch deity? This one’s a tad bit trickier, as the psyche and sanity is at collateral. You have to perform the ritual very carefully but quickly, as this could be a matter of if the person comes out all there.

But anyhow, this has been ‘Possession for Dummies’ by AMOMS/Steph. Hopefully, y’all enjoyed this little bit of me rambling about how possession works in the universe that i’ve taken a few years to lay out, with the help of some friends who enjoy writing as much i do, so some of this was based off of what was spitballed back and forth.

If you have any suggestions for what i could talk about next in the spirit of Halloween, please don’t be afraid to fling it at me! Any and all suggestions will be considered! Until then, later y’all!

#;SHE SPEAKS!! (OOC)#;About the World (Worldbuilding)

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smilingoceanlover · 5 years ago

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January 2020 - Fanfic Shoutout

My January 2020 fanfic shout out goes to @scapegrace74-blog. I would be hard pressed to find a more appropriate way to start off a new year and a new decade of XF fic than by dedicating a post to this talented and entirely underrated gift to this fandom. You guys, why is she not talked about all the time?!

I’ve been reading fic since the OG, yet I discovered her entirely by accident – or was it fate? – via a reblog of a post that mentioned she was writing a character study about Mulder (it’s called Perushim and is a WIP) with a link to her Ao3.

Someone is writing a character study of Fox William Mulder, FBI’s most flawlessly handsome unwanted? Yes, please! So I added her to my list of authors to check out.

In addition to achingly beautiful and melodic prose, smart in-character dialogue, and the ability to plot an interesting storyline (and then actually make it interesting while telling it!), the aspect of her fic that I am most impressed by is her Mulder. In an effort to highlight and make Scully more sympathetic, I find that many writers resort to emasculating, infantilizing, or dumbing Mulder down. I don’t see Mulder like that, so it is such a joy to find an author who really gets Mulder in the way David Duchovny actually embodied him. Thank you for bringing us fic that’s about Mulder, not some moronic overgrown child who looks like him and has the same name.

At this point in my shout out I ordinarily quote my favorite lines, but a great many of my most favorites would be completely spoiler-y. I’ve taken care to find lines that I wilted over for varying reasons, but shouldn’t spoil anything, and I will present them with zero context. These lines certainly don’t do her work justice, not even in the slightest, but I loved how they were written and the context they were in within the narrative. Thank you @scapegrace74-blog for sharing your talent, please, please, keep writing!

The Second Side of Light

AU that takes place on the Oregon trail, and is, without question, one of the most classically “romantic” Mulder and Scully stories I’ve ever read. Picture me with my hand over my heart under the covers in bed while the rain poured outside sighing “ooohhhhhh my goodness that is soooooo romantic!!!!” I’ve read about 5 or 6 chapters of this one over and over half a dozen times already.

“Miss Scully …” he was at a loss how to deal with this headstrong behaviour. If she were a man, he would simply tell her to go to hell and be done with it. He was used to operating alone, without the fetters that friendship or comity required. Their association was not getting off on the right foot.

“Mr. Mulder, let me put this to you plainly, so that there are no further misunderstandings. I mean to purchase two horses today. And as I will be spending roughly half of all that my sister and I own in the world for those two horses, and as our very lives will depend on the reliability of those two horses, and as, up until yesterday, I did not know you from Adam, I intend to ride with you to the Comanche camp. Now, shall we go?”

Completely nonplussed, Fox Mulder did the only sensible thing one could do when faced with a force of nature. He helped her onto the back of his horse.

* * *

She let out her breath. “That is beautiful.”

“I had a feeling you would understand.”

“And why is that, Mr. Mulder?”

“Because, Miss Scully, you respect the journey as well as the destination. It is a rare gift to see beyond one’s viewpoint, and to open one’s mind to extreme possibilities. You appear to possess it.”

She blushed at this unexpected praise. She had not considered whether Mr. Mulder had formed any particular opinion of her. He was so inwardly focused, she assumed he barely noticed her existence, but apparently that was not the case.

Black and White and Red

The attention to detail and how she has woven the characters and scenes from the series into this early 1950s AU is amazing. I’m still trying to figure out how she did it and how it works so well. I honestly spent a lot of this one with my mouth open going “how in the hell did she even think of this?” I’m now hopelessly sold on trying other AUs, too.

“He was reading The Invisible Man late at night, the radio muttering quietly in the background for company, when there was a sharp knock at the door. At first glance he thought it was a homeless waif, begging for shelter from the heavy spring rain, but then the light from the stairwell caught a pair of enormous blue eyes framed by amber wisps of hair and he recognized her.

“Mr. Mulder, I don’t know if you remember me,” she began.

“Of course. Miss Scully. Come in before you drown.”

Instead of taking a chair this time, she sat on his couch, touching the open spine of his book with shaking fingers. As before, she scanned the room anxiously, and he realized she was looking for signs of degeneracy. Besides the fact that he hadn’t washed his dishes from supper, there were none visible. It was just a simple basement apartment: cheap, untidy and smelling of warm dust and coffee grinds.

She took a deep breath and released it as words. “I’ve changed my mind. About the pictures. I… I want you to take them. Of me.”

“That’s…” He didn’t get a chance to finish whatever thought he meant to articulate, because just then she stood, unbelted her knee-length coat, and suddenly there was a scantily-clad woman in his apartment.

She wasn’t completely naked, and somehow that made it worse.

Seventeen

This is the story of all of Mulder’s past sexual relationships. I do not read /other fic for a lot of reasons, primarily because I’m just not interested. However, I broke my rule because of how she consistently wrote Mulder in the other fics I’d read. I just needed to take a teeny tiny peek to satisfy my curiosity. An hour later, I had zero regrets. Again, this one is mind boggling to me at how well it works. I think because fundamentally this shapes the character of the Mulder that Scully fell in love with, so imperfect, intense, desperate, lonely, and utterly male.

He didn’t expect her to believe. It wasn’t her disbelief that stung. It was her unwillingness to listen. He spent more time at work, researching the alien abduction phenomenon, wandering further and further off into darkness with each case.

It wasn’t infidelity or contempt or ambition that ended them, although all three stood in the wings, licking their hungry lips. It was neglect. He loved her, but he loved his all-consuming search for the truth more. She loved him, but she could only love in a concrete, three-dimensional world that he had left behind. One subdued conversation, some tears, and she was gone.

He didn’t take off his ring. Not even when he was fucking another woman. It was proof that he’d made a place for himself in that three-dimensional world for a little while. A reminder that he’d failed at even the easiest love that could ever have been asked of him.

* * *

“A word of advice, Fox? As someone who has hundreds of hours invested in your mental well-being: until you’re absolutely certain that your feelings for Scully are real, for the love of god please don’t fuck her.”

#msr fanfic #fanfic shoutout 2020 #so much talent #everyone needs to be reading and commenting on her work #elevated fic

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let-it-raines · 5 years ago

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Catch Me If You Can (16/?)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series.

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

A/n: If you like, read, kudo, comment, tag flail, reblog, or anything else, I see you, and I appreciate you! Honestly, it’s the coolest thing how many of you are out there, and every time I find out someone else has been reading, my heart grows Grinch style ❤️

We’re off to London in this chapter and the next one! Fun fact: the Yankees and Red Sox really did play a series in London this year!

AO3: Beginning | Current

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Tag list: @xellewoods @galaxyzxstark @eala-captian @mariakov81 @ultraluckycatnd @royalswan @shey-starsfury @sals86 @iam2307 @ashley-knightingale @karenfrommisthaven @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @notoriouscs @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog @cs-forlife @andiirivera @jonirobinson64 @qualitycoffeethings @thejollyroger-writer

-/-

“This is weird,” Will mutters as they walk the unfamiliar hallways of London Stadium on their way out to the field to practice. “I’m not used to being unfamiliar with a place where we’re about to play, and I swear that I’m still jet-lagged. Why did they think we were going to get used to the time change in one day?”

Instinctively, Killian wants to get onto Will about complaining since that’s become his thing as of late, but every point that he’s made is valid. It’s weird to be in a place that he doesn’t know. He’s familiar enough with half of the baseball stadiums in America to be able to give a tour like he made the blue prints for them, but they are decidedly not in America.

They’re in London.

To play the Red Sox.

So. Fucking. Cool.

His job awards him more opportunities than he ever could have dreamed about as a kid from Ohio, and while he’s had the opportunity to travel to Mexico and Canada, he’s never been overseas like this. He meant to go years ago, but then the accident happened and all of his plans went down the drain. He could have gone then too. He had all of the time in the world on his hands, and he squandered it by sitting on his ass and not traveling or doing all of the other things he’s always wanted to do.

He’ll have all the time in the world when he’s retired.

Woah, no. That’s not happening anytime soon, and he is not going down that road when things are going so well right now.

They’re going to kick some Red Sox ass even while in England.

His family didn’t fly all the way over here on vacation just for them to lose. Addy and Lucy would be very disappointed in him if they did because he knows for a fact that they only care about being here for the baseball and Addy’s birthday party tomorrow.

All of the cool kids turn six in London, obviously, and Addison Jones is the coolest of the kids.

It’s all she’s been talking about for weeks now, going on and on about how she was going to have an English birthday party and be English like Peppa Pig and Meghan Markle. He didn’t have the heart to tell her that Peppa Pig is animated and that Meghan Markle was technically American first, but some things kids just don’t have to know. All she knows is that a real-life prince and his wife are going to be at the game today, and she thinks that’s the coolest thing in the world.

It kind of is even if he had to study a protocol list for when he met them earlier in the locker room.

Killian’s life is so goddamn weird, but he loves it.

The fact that Emma got to travel here as well, even if she’s not doing on-camera coverage and is simply here as a print journalist for the team, makes it all the better. He may not get to see her on-field during the game, but he’ll see her afterwards.

Hopefully.

They haven’t been here long, but it’s already difficult to find time away from his family to see her, even if it’s only for a moment.

He’d give anything to have those little moments.

“I have no idea,” Killian yawns, finally responding to Will as they push the doors open and walk out to the field. He can tell that the set-up is going to throw him off, the way the stadium is equal on every side, and that the AstroTurf feels odd below his feet. But that’s why they practice. “We’ll suffer through it, and drink lots and lots of coffee.”

“I think they drink tea over here.”

“I believe that they drink coffee too. You want to start in the outfield and work our way back in?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

The two of them are quiet as they take it all in and try to get used to this new place. Music blares over the speakers, and the rest of the team filters in and out as they go through their warm-ups. He’s not sure if he really needs coffee for how hyped up he is to be here and to be playing their biggest rivals, and the crash of caffeine always seems so inevitable. The crash of adrenaline, not so much. Most of the time.

It’s a quick warm-up, one that doesn’t extend too much effort on his part, and his shoulder is feeling loose after the massage Archie gave it. They’ve won each of their series against the Sox so far this season, and he doesn’t plan on that changing now. When they finally travel to Boston next month, sure. But not today.

No part of him should be thinking this, especially with how unreliable his arm can be, but they’re playing so well this season that he can’t imagine them not making the playoffs and then being in the final two.

They could be back-to-back World Series Champions.

But that’s very much counting his chickens before they hatch, and that always leads to disappointment.

He simply can’t go there even if his brain keeps trying to.

“You guys make any wedding plans yet?” he asks Will as they walk back infield to practice a few pitches on the mound.

“We’ve been engaged for exactly a week, so no, we haven’t made any official plans. Belle has all of these ideas, though, and she’s been talking through them with her parents. Honestly, I think we may get married in December or January of this year since she doesn’t want to do it during the season.”

Killian nods his head in agreement as he tucks his chain back into his uniform from where it had fallen out. “That makes sense. It’s always hell trying to plan anything during the season. Even making dinner plans can be difficult.”

“Well,” Will says, clicking his tongue, “it’s not like you have anyone to be going out to dinner with. We don’t count. Neither does Liam.”

A protest is on the tip of his tongue, but he can’t say anything, not yet. He and Emma are going to talk about that after this trip, and even if they do, he’s not sure he’ll be able to tell Will. He should. Will and Robin. And Eric and Ariel. But no one else on the team. It’s just too risky.

That might put a damper in his plan to kiss her before every game.

But the time will come. It has to. And baby steps are fine with him when they mean that steps are happening. He completely and totally understands Emma and her reasons for not wanting their relationship out in the open, and he agrees. It’s better for her, for both of them, and they’ve only been together for two months. In the grand scheme of things, that’s not that long. It doesn’t matter that he fell hard and fast. That doesn’t escalate things.

It just…complicates his feelings.

This thing won’t be hidden away forever, not if they want any kind of future, and while he’d never presume to speak for Emma, he damn well intends to have that future.

“I could be dating,” Killian scoffs at Will who only rolls his eyes in response. “What? I could.”

“Nothing,” Will shrugs, taking position behind home plate. “I’m just saying, for a man who everyone thinks is going home with a new woman every night, you are particularly lacking in the women department.”

His jaw ticks, and he’s not even sure why. He’s never minded talking about his relationships in the past, not to Will, but it’s probably the lie. Of course it’s the lie.

“And what’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing,” Will grunts as he throws the ball back to him, a light thwacking sound hitting his glove. “Do whatever the hell you want. I’m not someone to tell you what to do with your life. I’m just saying, I’m much happier having Belle be a part of my life.”

“Look at you being all sweet.”

“I have my moments.”

“I’m totally giving a speech at your wedding about the night that I kept you from throwing up on her.”

“I would have expected nothing less from you. In fact, I’ve already warned Belle. It was in my proposal speech.”

“Shut up, you asshole.”

“Never. I know you love the sound of my voice.”

“It is rather dreamy.”

“You two are talking too much to be practicing,” Eric huffs as walks toward them with his bat in hand, fiddling with it the slightest bit. “What are we talking about?”

“Killian’s lack of a love life.”

Eric grunts at that, eyes scanning between the two of them. “That sounds like a conversation that I don’t want to be in because Ariel will somehow know and insist we talk about it later. She’ll have you set up on ten blind dates before midnight.”

“It’s in my contract that she can’t meddle in my dating life.”

“Really?” Eric and Will ask at once, their eyes going wide.

“No,” Killian chuckles as he stretches out his shoulder and bends his legs a bit, squatting down to stretch out some more, “but sometimes I wish that it was. Where has she been all day, by the way?”

“She’s helping set up Addison’s birthday party for tomorrow, apparently. She’s somehow gotten them a separate suite here, and they’re doing some sort of tea party during the game. You have even been given express permission to sit with your family instead of in the dugout with us.”

Of course. He could have done that anyways, but leave it to Ariel to make sure that there is no way in hell that he’s missing his niece’s sixth birthday party. She is pure magic, that woman.

“Your wife is something else,” he chuckles, deciding to step closer to them so that he doesn’t have to shout, “but you guys know that Addy is fully going to expect all of you to show up at some point.”

“Her present is in my suitcase.” Will smiles as he says it with a slight shake of his head. “I could never forget my biggest fan since Roland seems to betray me on who his favorite player is every week.”

Killian clicks his tongue. “Eh, just to be clear, I’m Addison’s favorite player. I’m not letting you steal that title from me.”

-/-

Killian spots Emma sitting nine rows up behind third base when they’re in the second inning.

She’s wearing a jersey…his jersey, and when he notices it, he nearly pegs Johnson with a ball.

Holy fuck.

It sends blood straight to his groin, and the only thing that stops it is him thinking about Emma making a joke about him having a boner on the mound. She’s so ridiculously funny in her bad jokes, and it brings a smile to his face that he has to control as he focuses on the game. He can’t be losing it when he’s in the middle of a game.

But damn. His girlfriend is wearing his jersey, his name and number printed on the back, and she’s got a baseball cap pulled low over her forehead with her blonde ponytail sticking out behind her. He wouldn’t have recognized her if he didn’t know every inch of her body.

He’ll play in London every day of the week if it means Emma can watch as a semi-spectator without anyone recognizing her.

A bloody siren. That’s what she is.

-/-

They win that night.

-/-

After the game when Emma walks into the locker room, her phone in hand for questions, she’s not wearing the jersey anymore. It’s been removed, and she’s wearing a black blouse that’s low cut enough that he can see the slightest bit of the cups of her bra. He’d bet that she didn’t think through having to remove his jersey when she got dressed, but he doesn’t mind how she looks.

He never does.

(She wore his fucking jersey.)

Except he can’t do anything about it but smile and answer her questions as well as everyone else’s. It’s a bit odd for her to not have Jeff following her around with the camera, but he knows that this means she’ll be writing an article instead. She’s always loved that.

Once all of the press members ask their questions, most of them British journalists, they filter out of the locker room, leaving everyone to strip out of their uniforms and move to take a shower. He’s taking off his belt when Arthur speaks, and his fingers still over the leather.

“I don’t know how any of us aren’t fucking Emma,” he grumbles, and the words make disgust drip down Killian’s spine. “Have you seen her body? I bet she’s fucking amazing in bed. I’d fuck her in a heartbeat. Damn am I glad women work in baseball now.”

The room goes silent, every man stopping what he’s doing, and Killian has words on the tip of his tongue but can’t say anything because Will is already talking.

“Fuck off, King,” Will curses, throwing his gear down on the ground. “I mean, seriously. What the bloody fuck? How shitty do you have to be to talk about someone like that? I knew you were an ass, but God, that’s next level. First of all, you’re fucking married, and even if you weren’t, that woman is a human being. You don’t get to talk about her like that.”

“Oh, come on, man. We’re all thinking it. Did you see her boobs just now? It’s nothing to get riled up about.”

“Yeah, yeah it is,” Will huffs as he crosses his arms over his chest. “The fact that you don’t realize that is just plain sad. She’s not coming in here to get ogled by you. She’s coming in here to do her job, and she’s damn good at it.”

Arthur rolls his eyes, and Killian’s blood boils even more. “Jones asked her out. How is that not the same thing?”

“Because he didn’t ask her out because he thinks of her as a sex object,” Will spits all the while Killian can barely hear any of this from the way his heart is thumping between his ears, a drum beat that’s louder than anything he’s ever heard.

Arthur darkly chuckles, and it’s that sound that has the drumline stopping so that his eyes snap over across the room. Killian didn’t even realize that he was clenching his fists, but when he looks down, he can see the red imprints of blood from where his nails were digging into his skin.

“Jones,” Arthur yells, “aren’t you going to back me up here? Isn’t she a fine piece of ass?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Killian yells before standing from the seat in his locker, quickly striding across the room until he and Arthur are eye-to-eye and completely lined up. Arthur’s got this disgusting cocky grin on his face, one that makes unpleasant chills run down his spine, and it’s taking everything in him not to punch the ever-loving shit out of the man. “Will is right. You’re an asshole, and you can’t be talking about her that way.”

“Why do you care so much? What, are you fucking her?”

And that’s when his first rises and slams into Arthur’s jaw, a sting spreading through his knuckles and up to his elbow. The drum starts beating in his head again, his heart pumping blood through him faster than normal, and everything is a blur as he moves his head to dodge Arthur’s punch and as someone grabs onto elbows and pulls him back and out of the room all the while a screaming match goes on in the locker room, every word muted to him except for the one name that keeps getting repeated.

Emma.

“Are you insane?” Robin gasps, and when Killian looks around, he can see that he’s been pulled off to the weight room that they’re using in this stadium. He didn’t even know Robin was in the locker room at the time. “You can’t punch Arthur no matter how big of an asshole he is. You’re going to fuck up your arm, and you can get suspended for weeks.”

“I don’t really care about either of those things right now.”

“Well you should,” Robin huffs, running his hands through his hair as he paces back and forth over the carpeted floor. “He’s an asshole. We all know that, and I wanted to punch him too…but you just can’t, mate. He’ll get his due, and it won’t come at the cost of your career.”

Robin is right. Robin is always right, but how is he supposed to sit there and let Arthur talk about his girlfriend like that? How is he supposed to let him talk about any woman like that? He simply can’t, and even though his knuckles hurt like hell right now and Archie is most definitely going to kill him, he doesn’t regret it. He can’t, and he’d bet that Will doesn’t either.

“Fuck,” Killian mutters, sitting down on a weight bench and burying his face in his hands as he tries to flex some of his fingers out. “Dammit. This isn’t how today was supposed to go. I’m not supposed to be punching our outfielder in a locker room in fucking London. I’m supposed to be enjoying my time and sipping tea at my niece’s birthday party because I’m this good guy that she looks up to when really everyone is a piece of shit.”

“Dramatic much?”

“Shut up.”

“Never,” Robin laughs as the door opens and Al stumbles inside, his long dark hair pushed back behind his ears and his tanned skin painted red in what Killian hopes is a sunburn and not anger.

“What the hell, Jones?” Al screeches, waling right up to him so that the tips of their shoes touch. “You punched King? With your right arm? What is going on in that head of yours?”

Killian groans, already ready to have his ego bruised and his career kicked by a man who is only four years older than him, and he straights his back so that Al isn’t look down at him as much as he should be.

“Are you in here to suspend me?”

Al’s brows furrow together. “What? No. Why would I suspend you?”

“Because I punched Arthur?”

Al waves him away, backing up the slightest bit. “No, I’m not going to suspend you for that. King can be a piece of shit sometimes, and I heard some of the stuff he was saying. He deserved that. My team are not going to be a bunch of sexist assholes who talk about our reporters that way. I can’t guarantee that there won’t be some kind of league suspension, but I doubt King takes it anywhere since then he’s had to explain the stuff he was saying.”

“Then why are you yelling at me?”

“Because you punched someone with your pitching arm, and I can’t have you messing up your arm again. Go see Archie right now, and get some damn ice on the thing.”

“Aye, aye, Captain,” Killian mock salutes, his head still spinning with everything that’s happened in the past fifteen minutes.

He takes it back. His life isn’t weird. It’s batshit crazy.

-/-

Ariel has been yelling at him in his hotel room for the past fifteen minutes. This is after Liam and Elsa yelled at him for twenty minutes, each, and he’s so damn tired of having to listen to this. He’s aware of the fact that he could have messed up part of his season today, but he still doesn’t regret it. He could have made better choices, yes, but Arthur deserved it. And he’s fine. He’ll probably only have a slight bruise. The only significant damage is the fact that their already frayed relationship that only truly exists because they’re teammates and his wife is friends with Ariel is pretty much destroyed now. That’s fine with him. He doesn’t want anything to do with the asshole.

And he has no idea what he’s going to tell Emma about this. His knuckles have cuts and bruises on them already, his fingers aching when he stretches them out, and if she comes to his room tonight, there’s no way in hell she’s not going to notice.

Maybe he should cancel on her.

He doesn’t want to cancel on her.

He wants to spend time with her and simply be in her company, maybe even get to figure out the subway routes (or should he call them the underground here?) and find a secluded place to go out to dinner. But he’s got to explain his hand, and he’s really not sure how lying is going to go here.

Lying to Emma really isn’t his best idea, so he most likely shouldn’t do it.

“Are you even listening to me, KJ?” Ariel huffs, stopping her pacing and placing her hands on her hips. “You look like you’re not listening.”

“I’m not.” She reaches up to slap the back of his hand, but he grabs her wrist to stop her, putting it back by her side. “I’ve heard all of it before, okay? And I’m going to hear it again. I know, I know, I fucking know. It was dumb, but I couldn’t stand by and listen to that. Will couldn’t either, but he’s got enough brains to know better than to punch someone.”

“That is not a sentence I ever thought you would say.”

“Life is funny like that,” Killian chuckles before falling back against his hotel bed. Whoever is booking their hotel rooms this year obviously has no sense of a budget because he hasn’t had a roommate once. It’s glorious. “A, I have no idea why you care about me so much. I’m such a pain in your ass.”

“Yeah,” Ariel sighs, sitting down next to his shoulder on the bed so that she can look over at him, her red hair framing her face, “you are, but I love you, so I don’t mind too much. And you give me something to focus on other than my idiot husband.”

“Please, you and Eric have one fight a year, and it lasts about five minutes.”

“I’ll have you know that we fought just yesterday over what to have for dinner. It was a real battle. I nearly punched him, but I had enough sense to stop myself.”

His eyes roll, but he can feel the smile stretching across his lips as he twists his head to look at Ariel. “I love you too, by the way. You and Elsa and Anna are pretty much the three sisters I never had. And you’re much nicer to me than Liam ever was.”

“Please, Liam is your hero.”

“Yeah, but when I was eight and he was sixteen, I was not his favorite person in the world. I think you guys would have been much nicer to me.”

Ariel’s lips flatten as she nods her head, sarcasm practically penned across the lines on her forehead. “Sure, sweetie. That’s what would have happened. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” She simply arches her brow. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just a shitty afternoon. As long as I don’t get yelled at anymore, I think I’ll be perfect and ready to go for Addy’s birthday party tomorrow. Thanks for setting that up, by the way. I think you may actually be magic for how you convince people to do your bidding.”

“I know,” she says, a grin plastered on her lips. “I’m pretty much the best. Do you want to come and get dinner with me and Eric?”

“Raincheck on that one?”

“I’m holding you to that this time,” Ariel sighs, patting his shoulder before she rises from the mattress. “Keep putting ice on your hand, and doing your stretches. We’ve got a long season ahead of us, and you are not allowed to mess it up.”

“Understood, love. Have fun at dinner. Feel free not to yell at me tomorrow even though I know that you will.”

Ariel waves him away before picking up her purse and walking out the door while he stays stretched out on his mattress, wondering if he can convince whoever owns this hotel to send this mattress and these sheets to his apartment because it’s glorious. Maybe it’s not really and it’s simply the fact that he’s still jetlagged and has had an extremely long day, but he doubts it.

This is the best comforter in the world.

And he’s never going to move from it.

So, of course, there’s a knock on his hotel door. Of course.

Groaning, he pulls himself up to rise from the bed, the muscles in his backing aching the slightest bit, and steps over to the door, checking the peephole and finding Emma on the other side. He should have known, and honestly, of all of the people seeking him out tonight, she is his favorite.

Until he opens the door, lets her inside, and the first thing that she does is hit him in the chest.

What the hell?

“What the hell?” Emma fumes, echoing his thoughts. “You punched Arthur King today?”

Bloody hell.

Bloody hell? Is he British now? How long has he been using that phrase and hasn’t even realized it? This is what he gets for hanging out with Robin so much.

“Aye,” he sighs as his unbruised hand immediately goes up to scratch behind his ear. She doesn’t look angry, the same soft smile that’s usually painted on her face still there, but there’s fire behind the green of her eyes. “How do you know about that?”

“Belle told me.”

He arches a brow. “Belle?”

“Yeah, I ran into her when I was leaving the stadium, and we got to talking and she starts telling me all about you and Will getting into a fight with Arthur over me. I mean, seriously, Killian. How could you be so dumb to punch him? You’re lucky you didn’t fuck up your arm and that you aren’t getting sanctions against you.”

He should really start putting money on how many times he can be told that in one night. He’s betting at least once more tonight and then seven times tomorrow.

“Swan, I know, okay? I promise you I’ve already had my head chewed off about this enough times. I get it, but he was being an asshole and deserved it. Will confronted him first going on and on about how he was a sexist pig, and then Arthur brought me into it by asking how him talking about wanting to fuck you was any different than me asking you out on a date. Then I told him to stop, which only escalated into him asking you if I’m defending you because I’m fucking you. And obviously, I am, but that’s not why I was defending you. He doesn’t get to say shit like that about anyone, but especially not you.”

He releases a breath when he finishes his ramble, which is really only an abbreviated version of the events, but he’s going to lose his mind if he has to go through it one more time. Seriously. But the way Emma’s mouth keeps opening and closing, the right words obviously not coming to her, has him rethinking this and starting from the beginning. It’s not pretty, but she deserves to know.

“You, Killian Jones,” she laments, stepping closer to him and wrapping her arms around his waist in an unexpected move so that he can smell the vanilla of her perfume, “are an idiot asshole who I’m still very much mad at for messing with your hand like that, but I’m also thankful that you and Will didn’t let someone talk about me like that. I’ve been through so much like that already, and I’m glad I have you guys on my side.”

“You have everyone else in that locker room on your side, love,” he says as her rubs his hands up and down her back and rests his chin against her temple, twisting his head to the side so that he can press his lips into her hair. “Me most of all. Then Will, I’ve discovered today, and everyone else is somewhere in there, rankings improving as long as I’m always at the top.”

“You’re so stupid,” she laughs into his chest, the vibrations of it running through him.

“I’ve gotten that a lot today, but you obviously like me a little bit since I saw you wearing my jersey.”

Emma pulls back from the hug to look up at him, a bit of red painting her cheeks. “So, you saw that, did you?”

“I did. I have an eagle eye for my biggest fan.”

“I like you a lot, but I don’t think that I’m your biggest fan. Your nieces have me beat. I didn’t know tomorrow was Addy’s birthday.”

“Aye,” he smiles, fingers inching up her back and tugging her closer to him, “she is turning six, and Ariel has arranged for her to have a tea party in one of the suites separate from the team suites. You should come with me.”

“Killian.” The way she says his name has all of his hope deflating, and he immediately dips his head down to run his lips across the apple of her cheek while his thumbs rub circles into her lower back. “I can’t. You know that.”

“You can. You don’t have to come as my girlfriend. You can simply come as part of the team. I’ll say I ran into you in the hallway or something and insisted that you come along. Come on,” he begs, finally kissing her lips, lingering a moment too long for it to be chaste, “come with me. It’ll be a fun time, and you can meet my family without any of the pressure of meeting them as my girlfriend.”

“But I will be meeting them as your girlfriend.”

“They don’t know that.”

“I’m not sure how that makes me feel. I know I want to meet your family and for you to meet mine. It was my idea and all, but now that the reality is in front of me, I think I might need some more time.” She pulls back from him, releasing his waist and trailing her fingers along his arms until Emma’s holding his hands, soft thumb tracing over the rough parts of his knuckles as her brows furrow together. She’s inspecting to him, and nerves rile in his stomach until she looks up at him with a sympathetic smile. “Can I think on it tonight at least? I don’t have a present for Addy.”

Killian shrugs. “We can sneak out and go buy her something, or,” he twines their fingers together and tugs her toward the bed, “we can spend a little time in here with you on your back because it really wouldn’t make sense for you to have a present if you weren’t technically planning on coming to the party.” “Watching TV?”

“Sure. We can keep it on while I fuck you with the image of you wearing nothing but my jersey playing in my mind.”

Emma laughs, something loud and boisterous, and he’s never been quite so thankful for the way that she enjoys his flirting. “I mean, that is the most typical athlete thing I’ve ever heard in my life, but we could always make it a reality.”

“Really now?”

“Mhm,” she hums, backing up into the mattress and sitting down, “but only because I liked the way you looked today when you realized I was wearing it. Plus, you defended me and all like a good human being, and I like good human beings.”

And I love you, he wants to say, but doesn’t, biting his tongue while he leans over her, hovering just above her face so that she blinks several times while looking up at him, her bottom lip tugged between her teeth.

“Well, only if you insist.”

#catch me if you can #cs ff #cs fic #captain swan fic #captain swan

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megaderping · 5 years ago

Text

Dealing with some anxiety over the past few weeks about some stuff I dealt with growing up that didn’t fully sink in until just now. It is very personal. It is also very heavy. If you decide to read, please keep in mind that this deals with some pretty heavy baggage, including... Trigger Warnings: CSA, Incest, Abuse, Bullying, Ableism, Trauma, Aphobia, Homophobia Because this is a personal rant, I’d rather avoid reblogs. Thank you for understanding.

So. When I was younger, I spent a lot of time with one of my cousins. She was a good 6 - 8 years older than me. At the time, I looked up to her. I thought she was cool and smart. I trusted her. Because I was so young, I didn’t think it weird that she described french kissing to me in great detail. I never told an adult. I was too young to know that this was not okay. This wasn’t even the last time, though. When I was in first grade, she was so eager to show and describe matters related to being a teenage girl and the changes therein. I won’t go into great detail- but the way she demonstrated this... It was definitely hands on. What bothers me is that at the time, it didn’t hit me that THIS wasn’t okay either. I didn’t tell an adult because I didn’t know I was supposed to. That this was sexual abuse. She did some things with me that- it only happened once, but it REALLY, fundamentally bothers me that my longterm reaction to this was... desensitization. Maybe that’s a form of trauma in itself? I dunno. But I was able to move on eventually when she wasn’t in my life anymore. Sometimes I tell myself I shouldn’t hold it against her because she was a teenager at the time with her own issues, but... I dunno. I didn’t talk about this with anyone. I didn’t really think about it, save for once in a blue moon when I was in high school and I was like, “...maybe that was messed up.” But if you asked me at the time, I would’ve said I was okay. But I’m honestly not sure if I was. I was bullied throughout my entire public schooling. People would punch me. They’d call me names. They’d make fun of me for liking cartoons and video games and come up to me with the most ableistic voices demanding I “draw them pokaymanz”. I was the one who had to go to the school councilor for being a problem. They didn’t get in trouble. In high school, I would go out into the pod to try and study and work on assignments because the very same people who had bullied me in grade school would not SHUT UP when we were supposed to be doing assigned reading. They were not punished. Nobody stepped in when I raised concerns- the best I got was permission to distance myself. I remember sitting on the bus one day in high school, minding my own business when these girls in the seat in front of me started making fun of my name. They started making fun of my appearance. The bus driver never stepped in. I got off the bus in tears. And this was hardly the first time. This was a problem from grade school ‘til graduation. 12 - 13 years of this. Sometimes when I’m at work, trying to do my JOB, my mind will go back to something a classmate said, something a classmate DID, and I’ll lose my focus. It’ll bring me to tears even though I SHOULD be over it by now. And this has always happened to me. People talking behind my back. Spreading rumors. Going to OTHERS to deal with their problems with me instead of talking to me because apparently human decency is too much to ask. People would spread rumors that I “pooped on the playground”. They’d say I liked to sneak into the boys’ bathroom. When I was in first grade, someone shoved a leaf up my nose. I still remember that, too. I remember being told by people I considered friends that we couldn’t be friends anymore because they had new friends who didn’t like me. I remember people being cruel. A lack of understanding. It turned me into a wallflower over time because I was scared to make connections and for a time I dealt with it by being cold and abrasive because I didn’t want to hurt anymore. I remember being asked on a school trip, “Were you ever diagnosed with anything?” OUT OF NOWHERE. To this day, I wonder about that... And I don’t know if I should seek diagnosis. I probably should? I definitely need a therapist, that way I can talk this stuff out with a professional instead of rambling on a blog post just to try and calm down from a random anxiety attack. I remember classmates and chaperones resenting the fact that I got left behind on that trip because I didn’t want to jaywalk. So I had to get help from some local cops who set me up with a cab back to the hotel because I was lost and nobody thought to look if I was left behind. People would talk down to me all the time, too. Treat me like a child. And why? Because I liked cartoons? Because I’m asexual and aromantic? GOD. I remember classmates in middle school were SO OFFENDED by my asexuality, too. I recall this one girl being like, “you better get a boyfriend or people might think you’re a ~lesbian~”. ...okay, first of all. What if I was? I mean, I’m pretty sure I’m not- I don’t really feel that kinda attraction to anyone. But. There is NOTHING wrong with being gay, lesbian, bi, pan, trans, NB, etc, etc. THESE PEOPLE EXIST. People who are not straight and/or cis exist. And also, thirteen year olds acting like they NEED to rush into relationships... That’s. Extremely concerning to me. It always was. But I guess I was just... desensitized over time because of how sexualized the climate was during those days. And it wasn’t just at school.

I have a long history of RPing. When I was in middle school, I was basically pressured into RPing a nsfw situation by some castmates. I should have said no, but I was scared to. And I think, ultimately, that also led to me being desensitized. Because that stuff was everywhere. These were RPs with young teenagers AND adults as players and nobody put their foot down and said, “hey, maybe DON’T RP nsfw in a space with minors”. Nobody said LOCK those posts. Tag them nsfw. It was just there. Out in the open. I was fourteen. And I’m not here to say that all NSFW content is inherently bad or that every adult should constantly be monitoring every space. Internet strangers are not babysitters. I get that. But I do think it’s a problem when communities full of young teens AND adults are too lax on the former’s access to 18+ content. Because there’s a difference between someone ignoring age restrictions and warnings and accidentally coming across content or being pressured to participate in such content. Now. Over time, people wised up. Many of these communities DID eventually lock that stuff to 18+. But a lot of open meme and sandbox communities did not. There were posts that’d devolve into smut on a regular basis that weren’t tagged or properly warned. But because I’d been exposed to this kinda stuff for so many years- it didn’t hit me that there was a lack of moderation. I was taught that it just comes with the territory because “this is the internet.” So for a long time, I just... accepted that. “It’s the internet.” Even within the past few years, I held onto that mindset because... it was just. What I was used to. I didn’t like it, but I assumed that was just... how things go and to express otherwise was pointless. I still don’t condone online harassment and I do think people will take properly tagged fandom content way too far (even if I disagree WITH said content)- but this isn’t ABOUT that. Because properly tagged content establishes the boundaries that were so wholly lacking in these spaces. And the fact is, I don’t LIKE that I am/was desensitized. Because the truth is, I didn’t LIKE any of it. I didn’t like the scenario I was coerced into as a young teen through RP. I didn’t like how easy it was to just... stumble upon NSFW content on accident. It’s just... I dunno. I just don’t know, and I hate that I don’t know. I probably shouldn’t let it get to me. It’s just online stuff that happened ten to twelve years ago, right? It’s nowhere near as serious as the actual sexual abuse and the actual bullying... but I think it still affected me. And just like with my cousin before, I didn’t really... talk to anyone about it? It was a very different fandom climate. The early to late 2000′s were very different. And I think just... it bothers me. That it took this long for me to realize that maybe this stuff affected me after all. Like. I’m a CSA survivor and it only JUST now clicked that I am? What’s up with that? Like. I don’t know. I need a therapist. I think I’ve needed one for years given how often I fall victim to invasive thoughts, how often I get too scared to speak my mind, how eager I am to please EVERYONE and thus it is SO hard for me to confront people when I am upset or draw the line. I’m constantly worrying about hurting or upsetting people so sometimes I guess I’m cowardly. Because I guess it’s a coping mechanism I’ve developed? Just... avoiding. Turning a blind eye. That’s probably not okay either. But I think the root of it all really is just from my childhood. How going to adults when I was bullied or abused never seemed to DO anything. So maybe I just developed a worst case scenario mindset. I just don’t know, so that’s why I need some help. So I can just... work this all out. I guess a part of me is just a little scared. And that’s stupid. Why should I be scared of something that can only HELP me? Ranting on tumblr can only do so much. But for now, just getting it off my chest is the best I can do. It’s a start, anyway.

#dorkvents #personal #tw: trauma #tw: csa #tw: homophobia #tw: aphobia #tw: incest #tw: ableism #tw: abuse #tw: bullying #basically i have a lot of baggage #and it only just hit me how much baggage i actually have #if you want me to add TW tags PLEASE let me know #i will absolutely accommodate #i just want to be able to move on but it's really hard to let go

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