#I honestly dont think I'd have a problem telling them bc I have been pretty open to telling them a lot of stuff

[spade-club]

I just realized if I start dating this guy eventually I have to tell them I'm a system... wuh oh

[girlhorse]

in college when i had my first major ocd breakdown and had to go on meds i thought i had really bad GAD lol. that was my only diagnosis. but um i now recognize that it was absolutely full blown ocd lol

tw below for some OCD stuff i feel like sharing for some reason. may delete later bc i am going to get very ~vulnerable~

i was really scared to explain my thoughts to anyone bc 1) i knew logically they were bizarre and that embarrassed me and 2) i was scared talking about my intrusive thoughts would make them come true

basically i was obsessed with thoughts that my now ex was going to be in harms way or die, especially when it had been like. idk. more than 20 minutes from texting me

my intrusive thoughts were so strange..i would come up with really whacky ways that they could be fatally injured. like slipping in the shower or choking to death.

I knew these were unreasonable and weird and I did my absolute best to not pester my ex or make it weird. I didnt want to pressure her to do anything because of my out of control anxiety but it was getting super out of hand

I was getting so sick that I was having panic attacks if i hadnt heard from them in a couple hours, i threw up a few meals because of it

eventually i just stopped sleeping. Every time I started to fall asleep, my body jolted me awake. I had very little appetite and was holding back gags while eating.

The things I didn't really consider to be compulsions are pretty obvious to me now. on top of like intense magical thinking (believing my unusual thoughts were either going to cause something bad or that I had some sort of clairvoyance) i had begun publicly checking my pulse any time i was anxious. I thought i was being discreet but honestly my friends noticed it and asked me wtf i was doing ☠️ i was putting my two fingers on my jugular vein to see if i was panicking or anxious.

i also had a problem with compulsively reading the news in their area if i thought they had been hurt. in the attempt to get ahead of it. I was checking traffic data and friends blogs. It was honest to God a bit stalkerish and i knew that but i was terrified

I did tell them about it eventually and they were very gracious about it.

but this went on for a long time, probably months. Somehow i still coped with college classes and didn't fail anything but i was in a pass/fail school so no pressure to do substantially well

eventually i finally got my as to the doctor bc the therapy i was doing did Not work (it ws self guided CBT. I do not think the campus therapsit was equipped to handle the Brains issue i had)

i got put on a low dose of prozac, but when that didnt work (literally threw up a pill due to anxiety lmao) my doc increased the dose significantly and that helped quite a bit.

Anyway i stopped having so bad of OCD that i couldnt function, but of course i still have my moments

it took me like a couple weeks to figure out my fear was largely surrounding uncertainty and the inability to control things.

i think to be honest it is still present. and it seems to be triggered by major life events. Enzo is my new Subject but I'm better able to cope. It was hard when he was little leaving home, i was always scared I'd come back to a d*** puppy bc of something I did wrong. But! hes fine, we're fine. Him getting sick has been hard to deal with Because of this but im dealing. Im doing my best to just accept my obsrssions instead of fighting them or letting them spiral out of control

IDK what the point od this post is i just feel like i have to get it off my chest and i dont have a therapy appointment this week ❤️❤️❤️ my public tumblr is my diary:)

[claitea]

some thoughts about pokemon violet. spoilers ahead!

there are. quite a few graphical glitches and messes whbejrvhr. sometimes trainers and pokemons eyes get stuck closed for a while, camera clips into the floor during battle, a sunflora i was in battle with and therefore Very Close To moved at a lower frame rate like other faraway entities. hough the homeroom scene..... almost everyone in that room looked so janky.

but tbh? i've been having too much fun to care too much about that specifically. the rest of the game is pretty :)

wish i could stop the minimap from spinning. i can lock the map app to north but not the minimap????

THE FOOD ILLUSTRATIONS ARE SO GOOD I WANT TO EAT THE ICECREAM SO BAD

rip pixel pokemon and item icons though </3 i find them more charming. also the icon for persim berries is too red and its bothering me, persim berries are PINK this is BRIGHT SCARLET

idk how pokemon icons on the minimap work either i'll be running all over the place it indicates and not find the pokemon its showing. i want a charcadet :(

i chose sprigatito but was THIS close to choosing fuecoco because of the first cutscenes. quaxly having to tell fuecoco not to eat the burnt orange whjegjevdj

miraidon my beloved asshole lizard who eats all my sandwiches. i gotta rewatch any and all miraidon scenes with koraidon when i'm done with the game, the first cutscene with the houndoom was SO COOL

PEOPLE WERE RIGHT ARVEN IS THE PROFESSOR'S KID

there were a couple nods to older games! a book in the library talks about someone seeing the stow-on-side mural get broken by a copperajah, another book talks about pewter crunchies, and the meditative seat art installation in artazon are items you could buy in oras as decoration for your secret base. i know every game has callbacks to previous ones but the stow-on-side one caught me offguard because thats a spoiler isnt it?? the other one surprised me too but more becaue Why do i remember this one specific base item. i havent touched oras in years

a library book also said Hydreigon and Volcarona got alt forms like donphan did and i need to see them IMMEDIATELY

as far as i've seen in the library, the pokemon that get those forms are donphan, tyranitar, volcarona, hydreigon. and Delibird. which i find hilarious bc its all these threatening scary pokemon and then. DELIBIRD.

WHY DID MY BELOVED LECHONK EVOLVE INTO AN EMO BOY

so far out of the new pokemon. the only design i dont like is spidops. spiops. i forgot how to spell it. where did my cute little yarn ball go :( maybe its just New Pokemon Doesnt Look Like A Pokemon Yet Syndrome but there is just SOMETHING about spiops's design that doesnt sit right with me

miraidon jumping is a little janky sometimes idk??? also i got stuck in a pond once and it could NOT climb out no matter where i tried. i had to fly out

i already like tera raids a lot more :') i HATED how max pokemon could shield and move multiple times and all that. i dont have online so max raids are damn near IMPOSSIBLE for me to do because the ai sucks That bad. i feel like with the time limit thing and infinite revives i could stand a chance doing it solo. this is just me talking about the early 1-2 star raids though idk how it'll go later on

i did get one odd glitch where my first attack didnt appear to deplete the hp bar, but then a few attacks later it looked like it had hp left but it fainted? my damage just. Didnt Show for some reason while still registering as damage

i think they fixed the overlevelling problem bc i was even getting my ass kicked by wild pokemon sometimes HKWBDJBF. i was cruising through fast like i'd gotten used to in xy to swsh, so i was actually underlevelled a lot. mela almost curbstomped me

THE CAR IS A POKEMON THEY WERE RIGHT ITS AN ACTUAL POKEMON

mela walks like manga emmet lmao

clodsire. thats it thats the bullet point <3

in conclusion i am having a BLAST. i absolutely adore this game so far!! i'm honestly able to overlook anything that bothers me just because i enjoy it a Lot. like of Course i still wish the subpar graphics werent subpar but Who Care look at my clodsire his name is Mousse and i love him

[jayflrt]

56 years since i last sent an ask . hello jayflrt 🙏 caught up w the updates AND WHERE DO I START????? this is all over the place by the way.

first of all jayyn washington date ┬┬﹏┬┬ they're so cute god take away all their problems double them and give them to sungjin, yuna and whoever that client is 🙏 that washington trip definitely took a turn . . . for good i hope . AND HEEJAY R SO CUTE LIKE THEIR DRINKING SESSION TOGETHER? fuck romance we need their friendship to thrive ‼️ and hoon as well ^^ i know this is all for the major angst that's coming up INCLUDING ALL THE THINGS JAY'S TELLING YN ESP ABOUT HER BEING NICE TO BE AROUND AND ALL BUT HE'S ONLY WITH HER FOR HIS TASK u love to torture us. i am not ready for the angst if jayyn dont end up together i will end it all and pretend this smau never happened.

AND. the interviews. that the fuck r the questions i hope someone asked me what kind of tree i want to be during interviews 😭 btw i am asking u the same question. what type of tree would u want to be?? bc it's an interesting question nonetheless. PLUS the way i gasped when jay said he wanted to punch sunghoon....in front of sungjin. ok i kinda knew it won't end badly ( i could be wrong but jay wouldnt fuck up that easily i trust him. ) it was all so fun and games we have hoonyn back as friends, hee hoon r almost okay as well AND THEN YUNA? I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH HER? look i dont blame her for being the way she is since it mostly roots back to his parents but she's making it everyone's problem rn :/ IT'S SO ANNOYING LIKE I SAW YUNA'S PIC ON THE TL TODAY AND I WAS LIKE 'GIRLLLLL WHY R U DOING THIS' THIS SMAU IS EATING MY BRAIN 😭😭😭😭😭

btw im sorry for literally sending an essay here. ur logic behind everything esp how u've written the secret society and the whole thing about why it's called order of kyrptos ++ is so so good im loving this so far :o i hope u have a good day ahead ^_^

HELLO!!! omg how have you been?? 🌷 AHH NO WORRIES I'LL JUST REPLY TO THEM ALL 🏃‍♂️ I HOPE IT WASNT A HASSLE TYPING ALL THIS OUT

omg the washington chapter was like the only break they were able to catch 🥲 and then shit hits the fan as soon as mc leaves!!!! like i'd take that flight right back atp 🚶‍♂️ LMAOAO heeseung is wearing the #1 jay supporter crown rn honestly they're a married couple in another life ! BUT YES UNFORTUNATELY THERE IS THE IMPENDING ANGST but i am a firm believer in happy endings don't worry

nah seriously enough with "where do you see yourself in 5 years" i'd like to be asked how i see myself as a tree. also i think i'd probably like to be a bonsai tree just so i can be pampered. or a redwood tree because those are HUGE and they must receive so many hugs 🫂 what do you think you would be 🫢 LMFAOO it definitely could've ended worse for jay but he clutched up so well with the sunghoon throwing up excuse. also unfortunately yuna's still around but she won't be as big a presence as she was in the first act 😩 but so true she's absolutely a product of her upbringing but that doesn't excuse how she acts out with her friends :// like enough!!! HAHAH thankfully yuna's so pretty and makes me short circuit to the point that whenever i see her pictures online my only thoughts are Omg she's so pretty 😭😭

omg no you're totally good i love reading + replying 🧎‍♀️ also thank you for reading my story !! it makes me so glad to hear that you're enjoying the plot so far <3

[ftm-radio]

Hey man can i ask fir some encouragement please? I have to fill out this form for a course im doing but im still a minor and also closeted so i havent been able to legally cgange my name and i cant put down my preferred gender or title lest my parents see it (and i also dont know if i CAN legally do that because my gender marker isnt changed either) and its stressing me out so much that ive been putting it off for months and i cant even explain to anyone IRL why its stressing me out so much.

I know ill feel better once its done but the thought of having to put down the wrong stuff makes me so miserable that i dont even want to submit it :(((

and then ill have to deal with people calling me that name for another year and then even when i can finally change it ill have to deal with people adjusting to the change and asking me why i changed it and ill probably have to out myself at some point too and deal with everyone asking me about that and insulting me

Overall pretty miserable rn and i feel like shit

oh no I'm so sorry dude! I totally understand what you're feeling. I still have to use my deadname for shit sometimes (way more often than I'd like to) and it stings every time.

unfortunately, until you can legally change your name and whatnot, all you can do is grit your teeth and muscle through it. the hard part is doing it, but once it's done you don't have to worry about it. having to tell people the wrong name is absolutely awful, but you won't have to do it forever and someday this crap will be a distant hurt that you won't even think about. (and honestly I've had to do it often enough that I cringe a little less, so hopefully you can also develop some resistance to it over time?)

regardless, promise you can handle this, because you're stronger than you know. 😤💕

and when you CAN finally use & tell people the proper name, their having to adjust to it is 1000% not your problem. if they can't learn a new name that's on them, and after you get through this part of your life you won't have to worry about folks adjusting bc they'll know you with the right name the entire time. it might be a while till you get there, but the important thing is you will get there.

and if they insult you over it when you come out, remember that they're just close-minded assmonkeys who don't deserve to take up any space in your brain. and if they do manage to wriggle in there and make you feel bad, you can always come and say hey and we can call them assmonkeys together.

I'm sorry you're not having a good time right now, but I hope I could manage to cheer you up a lil bit.

in case my words aren't enough, here are some pictures of my cat. she's dumb but also the best.

[kinosternon]

same person who asked abt ur opinion on the movie! i think you made good points; i again didnt actually watch it mostly bc idk how to access it so i cant really gauge the flow of it, for lack of a better word, but from the plot of it i felt like it was too many things pushed together. notably i feel like kinjou’s involvement was unecessary, i dont understand why theyd add another character to the ensemble in the movie closing off the series when we have SO many characters at play already.

i know albert and specifically haru and albert’s rivalry/rship drives a lot of the swimming plot but similarly to kinjou i dont think it was necessary to get into a whole other backstory and angst about another character to achieve the same themes message conclusion etc.

you’re right that expectations probably play a big role in how you receive the movie - personally i think more could have been done to actually tie off the major conflicts amongst characters, but i guess free! has always dealt with conflict through swimming so i cant actually complain. i do wish that we could have seen hiyori and ikuya’s rship (ie their conflicts and development) a little bit more bc thats one of the most unresolved plot points from past seasons imo.

anyway thank you for responding to my question! your insight was rlly interesting :)

These are very good points, honestly, and they reflect a lot of the more...unconventional storytelling decisions KyoAni made with Free! So I hope you're ready for another short essay about them :D

But I'd argue that the "let's add new characters instead of solving old problems" thing has been showing up from the beginning. Like, I agree it's weird! But they did it in season 2, with the addition of Sousuke, and again in s3 with Hiyori and Ikuya. (And as they're officially my favorite, I feel like I've somewhat lost the right to complain about it lmao)

And speaking more broadly...it's kind of like life, isn't it? Especially for young adults. The biggest problems are not easily solved (or even easily recognized), and new people keep coming into our lives, recontextualizing those old problems in new ways. That and the decision to build the story backwards as intensely as they did forwards were some pretty innovative-feeling storytelling choices, at least from my perspective.

As for adding Kinjou and Albert, and HiyoIku development: (more spoilery stuff below)

Kinjou's arc really didn't make sense till this finale, even though it was really started off in the Road to the World movie (which was mostly a Dive to the Future rehash) where he randomly threatens Hiyori at the end. The setup seems to have started from (roughly) there, so this direction had to have been planned from at least that far back. (..."Road to the World" indeed. Huh.) And by the end, his role felt absolutely essential to me given the direction Haruka's arc went in.

Basically, Kaede acts as a really direct foil for Haruka's arc in the final film.

Most importantly, he has secondhand (but intense) familiarity with the risks Haruka seems to be taking for granted, and it's his choices more than anyone's that lead to Haruka making it to and winning the final race STRIKEalive and relatively unharmed.

Moreover, his relationship with swimming is so interesting to compare to Haruka's. It's not that Kaede was always a talented swimmer! He actually got started pretty late, and for reasons that didn't have to do with the water at all! Instead, it's implied that he started swimming seeking a place to belong, because he couldn't find one outside of it. And when he lost the person he was closest to and was rejected by Hiyori others, he became even more dedicated to swimming, seemingly at least a little out of spite.

This isn't Haruka's relationship with swimming at all! And yet, a lot of the underlying factors keeping them focused are similar—they're just more explicit in Kaede's case. (More than once in the film, via flashback, Kiyofumi tells him things like "swimming will become something that accepts you," which between that and his extremely ND vibes as a kid? Implies to me that he faced a lot of rejection growing up.) And yet he still is more aware than anyone else of the very real risks Haruka is taking, when the people around him are intentionally letting them slide.

Because—this is important—who else was going to tell Haruka to stop literally risking his life, just to win against Albert? Ryuuji tries, but ultimately, can only do so much. Almost everyone else looks up to Haruka too much to tell him to stop, and know him just well enough to believe that he wouldn't listen if they tried.

The only real options, to me, would've been Sousuke, Hiyori, Rin, or Makoto:

Sousuke does actually try in the movie, but he just isn't close enough to Haruka to be able to make much impact.

Hiyori already went through all this with Ikuya once, more or less, and deserves a break. Actually, I kind of wonder whether on a creative level Kaede was introduced as closest to him because he didn't really turn out to be dickish enough to get this job done.

Rin could've been quite interesting! And he seems relatively well-positioned to do this, especially with his very visible concern for Haruka throughout the movie. But even though he's finally making real steps to repair some of the interpersonal issues he's had with Haruka from the beginning...he's still really inspired by him and wants him to compete. Plus there's the problem that everyone who knows Haruka well comes up against—knowing how deep his passion goes, and not wanting to fight him on it.

Makoto...see, this would have been another place where the movie could've happened very differently, I feel. What if Ryuuji had pushed Makoto, not Rin, to try to reach Haruka? What if Haruka's well-being had ended up depending directly on Makoto finally managing to drill it into Haruka's head that he cares about him himself—not as an abnormal person and not as a prodigy? But instead, by this point Makoto's so worried about hurting Haruka's chances or their relationship (possibly remembering their s2 argument that was never fully resolved??) that he's actually more willing than Rin (or at least agrees first) to let Haruka keep hurting himself in the name of his dream.

(Actually, one weird dark-horse option would be Albert himself? But the timing doesn't really work on that.)

But with Ryuuji's tragic backstory (of Kiyofumi) already added in and everything, Kaede was really uniquely positioned to do the job he does regarding Haruka.

And speaking of Albert: I'd actually agree that a lot of his stuff felt shoehorned in, but I get why they did it—it adds an "international" level to the rivalries that's pretty necessary, given that the world championships are the final setting. Then as far as backstory goes, Free! has always been about coming to understand people's situations/perspectives better to overcome conflict with them. Haruka's journey with Albert (or vice-versa) is about him coming not to hate Albert's swimming, and showing Albert's issues to the audience helps make him relatable as that happens.

I enjoy that they tried to make a character like Albert work (even though his English lines made me cringe a little bit, especially this time around). I just...don't think they quite got there.

Then there's Hiyori and Ikuya. So. I say this with absolute love for them and their dynamic, but like—drama was never going to be the main fix for HiyoIku, because they're both predisposed to being dramatic in a way that is frankly part of the problem. Instead, Hiyori's development seems to come from both settling into a healthier role supporting Ikuya, and also learning to lighten up a bit and think about people other than him. Kaede plays a surprisingly important role here, as do Kisumi and Ikuya's friends. Even littler moments like his exposure to the disaster (at least on the surface) that Rin and Haruka's interactions often are probably had an impact. Ikuya's development, OTOH, mostly comes in the form of getting to know Rin and realizing that he isn't the only person in Haruka's orbit, while also making friends in general after years of acting like a loner. (Sousuke is a particularly good influence on both Hiyori and Ikuya, I think.)

So overall, getting away from the drama of everything after basically being the center of the drama for Dive to the Future is probably a welcome reprieve where they're concerned. And we did get to see them have a very pleasant convo pre-Ikuya's final race that hints that they're much better adjusted than they were, so for me it was an exercise in faith that they've worked on their shit more behind the scenes.

[queerautism]

(before reading i would like to say i accidentally talked too much and it accidentally became possibly a vent??? no matter what u get a cookie for 0 reason but bc i said so. if u want to u can just delete the ask and not even look at it or whatever. i would prefer if you didnt post this ask itself and if u respond to it do it in a separate post. Edit later: I was going to ask a question relating to all this but I forgot it and honestly im not going to just delete all of this which is a lot. my stance on the “dont post this” has changed and it would be ok just add any tags u think are needed??)

sorry about this really long message /gen i just never talk to anyone about this and got a little too deep into talking about it all.

no clue if this can be answered but i have NO clue who to talk about this to (if you know anyone who could answer this better please direct me to them!!). back when i was younger, i had an emotional attachment to my (not legally back then) adopted siblings. they were related to me by blood, as cousins and their mom had just given them to us randomly and we decided to take them in. i loved them so much. and she took them away from us, just to put them up in another home and another and eventually they ended up in the foster care system and she went to jail.

now, i was in an awful state during this time where they weren’t with me. before then, my mental health had been pretty good, no meltdowns/tantrums/etc and anger issues weren’t a problem. but when they were taken, i got worse and worse pretty fast. Everything started going downhill and I would always be getting in trouble at school, at least one problem every week if not more. This was around maybe second or third grade? Not sure.

Started getting attached to books and minecraft youtubers to try and help this all out, but all that happened was just an obsession for the rest of my life and nothing else. All my anxiety & stress and whatever else were a cause of this experience but I never even think about this anymore and it doesn’t make me feel much looking back (besides misery and wanting to cry about something that isnt even a problem anymore), i just wish i could tell my past self they would come back.

They’re back with us and have been legally adopted for maybe 2 years now? I don’t remember. My anger issues are getting easier to handle, but I still snap at people sometimes and some people have assumed I have BPD, which I’m pretty sure I don’t have. Even my cousin thinks I have BPD.

During this time, I had been in a girl scouts group that my mom made and everyone in the group had left us because I was (and i quote, paraphrased but i remember this well) “weird and different” and because of my anger issues. Which back then, I had no diagnosis’s for anything and now looking back it’s an even worse memory since turns out I’m ND. Oh and I also sleep deprived myself when my siblings were gone and now i have insomniiiaaa

again sorry for the really long ask, have a good day and I dont know how to end this since I accidentally just vented to someone who doesnt even know me sorry :(

It's really okay. There's nothing weird about you. You were in a shitty situation where you had no control, and changes like this during formative years can have a big effect. It can absolutely be traumatic.

I'd say it might be a good idea to look into emotional regulation issues, and maybe CPTSD, which has a lot of traits in common with BPD. You might want to look at DBT therapy, there's workbooks you can do yourself and I've found them really helpful

[jung-koook]

ah sorry for the long message but i had a lot of thoughts about it. if there's been anyone i trust to know sources what they're doing it'd be you. i've been on tumblr a very long time (..before i was even old enough to. about 13 years total. aka also before people STARTED crediting anybody. i don't even think it had a source link section. (cause i remember it was a big deal when added) and your blog is the only one that i've seen consistent in crediting or sources. and i've you get asks like "can you please tell me where this is from" and you do. you've always provided links/or told us where to find it or where it's from. some of it we can literally find ourselves. some of us also been here in this fandom long enough to be like "ah i remember that and where it's from" and can go find it ourselves if we wanted to. depends what it is.

i'm sorry you're going through this you're really sweet and pretty good at telling sources or telling where to find them, even the reblogging resources and stuff, i've never seen as much, as i have from you. like there's so many and even posts to sources. if there's anyone i trust with it it'd be you. (why you're one of the four content creators i follow also and like no other fan accounts)! stay strong okay? that had to be a bad feeling to wake up to. i'd honestly have a anxiety despite knowing i'm innocent. also people can't assume everyone knows everything or purposely doing things. some do yes. but not everyone. things get even more benefit of the doubt if things aren't their native language or country. in which approach in an educational not accusatory way (like signal boost posts type things not the crediting/discrediting. that should happen regardless of language and only if the person is okay with their content being shared or whatever. at the same times tweets?? (normal basic word tweets) are (unless private account) usually public and can be screenshot and shared by anyone and everyone that comes across it now if that tweet had art attached or an edit made by said tweeter and they don't give explicit permission to share that then that's when it becomes a problem. but you don't do that from what i've seen. youve linked to tweets too. so why are they always (ive see you answer quite a bit of rude asks over time or asks that have came across as rude.) coming for you specifically it's ?!)

wow, thank you so much for everything you said. everything you said really means a lot to me. i panicked me when i found out what they were talking about me bc they were talking about me on other blogs. its really super uncomfortable to know that other anons are saying lies about you to blogs that maybe that dont even know who you are or follow you. i'm lucky that this happened to someone who talks to me and follows me and knows that i always give credit to everyone. i'm also careful when i'm looking for fanarts to reblog. i always try to check if its not a repost or something like that. i'm always very careful with these stuff and knowing that people have noticed makes me so relieved.

again, thank you so much ♡

[takeyourhands]

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR NINJAGO S/I PLEASE IM SO INTERESTED…………….. HOW DO THEY FIT IN THE STORY WHICH SEASON ARE THEY INTRODUCED IF THEYRE NOT INTRODUCED IN THE FIRST?

ANYTHING FOR U BESTIE <33

i feel like,,, im probably there since the beginning bc im just like that when it comes to s/i's hfgjfhgjhfgj-

i just kind of live with them but not for any special reason, like im not training or anything. im kind of like nya in that im just vibing there except i dont have the excuse of a brother training all the time and also living there

honestly i think i'd be there before anyone else FHGJHDGJHF like i just went on a hike up the mountain someday but because im not very good at physical tasks i probably just ended up lying down on the ground for a while until sensei wu found me

he'd bring me to the monastery (was it a monastery,,,,, i dont remember,,,,,,,) and let me rest there for the night but then i just never left

a father-aged man was nice to me ONE (1) time i decided to never leave him

(except i DO visit my family on the weekends, at least as much as i can between all the action of each if the seasons)

also i just. i REALLY wanna have a cool power but i still dont know what i should have-

like ive got a few ideas in my head but i cant figure out how a lot of them would work fhgjfhgjfhgh

but anyways

the ninja,,,,, my best friends in the whole world,,,,,,,,, wwWWAAAAAHH

i am everyones best friend and everyone loves me bc i am cool and awesome actually. its true trust me i swear i am a very cool and awesome person

lloyd is my #1 super bff tho,,,,, i was definitely the maternal/big sister figure he needed during the first two seasons and i am ABSOLUTELY still like that w him now

i think he would get grumpy about it on occasion (especially in like. season 1) bc hes a big boy >:(( stop embarrassing me in front of the bad guys TARA

but he rlly appreciates the affection and that ive mellowed out abt it over the years

btw nya is a super close second to lloyd on the bff scale to lloyd bc i LITERALLY care her so much

ive not even talked about my story role im sorry im just very happy to talk about my buddies

OKAY HDGJHFGJHFGJ

i think i play moral support through most of the first two or three seasons. i imagine i actually started like. TRAINING in between seasons 2 and 3 but im definitely still not a fighter, i can really only do basic self defense

i help out where i can, but im definitely still pretty useless when it comes to battle. im like a,,, weird seventh arm that doesnt rlly do much and sometimes just kind of gets in the way HFGJHFGJHDGJ

i either have to stay back at homebase while the ninja go out and do stuff or im just sort of There in the background doing my best

so im definitely much more of a person whos most helpful on a mental battlefield rather than a physical one, at least when it comes to other peoples struggles

im like,,, sort of vaguely everyones therapist FHGHHFHG

like i just listen to them talk about whatever and do my best to give advice and epic wisdoms.

im a bit. aggressive. sometimes when it comes to helping others. like even when its not with emotional struggles or even a struggle at all i will literally do everything to help u no matter how much it inconveniences myself. like if u ask me to get u a glass of water bc ur thirsty i will bring u back a bucket like "i got u bestie >:3"

theres definitely been multiple times where the boys complain about like, not wanting to do their chores or something and i just go "DONT WORRY >:D I'LL HANDLE IT." "wait no thats not-" and then ive done all their chores for them in like two seconds

theyre REALLY trying to get me out of that habit since they dont want me getting taken advantage of or doing everything for them and its like "oh no its no problem im happy to help :)!" "TARA THATS NOT WHAT WE MEAN"

they literally cant ask me for any kind of favor or anything bc i will always go Too Far

oh god im getting very sidetracked

season 3 for me is definitely like. Oh Boy. i am juggling everybodys problems for them at once and im falling apart. like im trying to listen to love triangle problems and then im helping zane and then im trying to help stop the overlord and there is SO MUCH GOING ON

after the s3 finale i think i just sort of. check out. like i just got too overwhelmed by everything, and after the last battle with the overlord i just wasnt back to normal until season 4. like only half of me was around and the other half was lying in a muddy puddle in the corner

but dont worry i get back to normal <3

i think id be a pretty big help during s4 and 5 actually. i get a lot more directly involved in the action, because there are specific people who i care deeply for who need help and being able to be with my friends is the whole reason i even wake up in the morning

*sniffles* ANYWAYS

i cant think of what else to talk about lol its 6am

[transsexualhamlet]

sherlock holmes reactions part 4 (?) ive lost count already but unsurprisingly ive grown even more attached to him

using this as the cover image because i made him a playlist. cause im awful

no legit this is gonna need a read more because it's SO LONG SHIHEWIESHEFSHIEWHF

Had three mental breakdowns this week and realized i do in fact kin sherlock motherfucking holmes. this does not bode well for anything in my life mentally I've diagnosed him with so many things

Oh boy lol you want the list I think hes autistic (undisputed honestly) plus also adhd but on top of that there's the manic depression and uhhh the bpd lmao I dont even think that's it those are just. the obvious ones

But yeah man's a fucking mess and a shit person but in the same way as me so 👍

Some highlights I thought were very funny:

watson: we are in fact going to be waltzing into a place where people are Shooting People you do not have your gun. this is a problem

sherlock: don't worry watson I have my trusty stick!

watson: visible pain

This clearly happens like every day or so with them

but yeah there were some really honestly sweet scenes with them at the apartment and why am i getting soft over the crusty man being gay

have you considered tho. have you considered them

have you considered sherlock, who usually only plays absolute garbage on his violin serenading watson to sleep when he was tired and in pain and watson being so fucking in love with the man and waxing poetic about falling asleep to his music and waking up to see him fallen asleep on the couch next to him and oh my god them

They're just really sweet together for such a completely dysfunctional couple so much of the time lol I just. Sherlock being like.

Sherlock half of the time: watson you're fucking stupid. no i won't take care of my personal needs stfu. watson get a goddamn life. watson shut up. watson no one cares about your goddamn opinion. no i need to disturb you in the middle of the night it's for science. hey watson mind if i manipulate mansplain malewife

Sherlock the other half of the time: HELLO SIR YOU ARE MY FAVORITE MAN TO EVER MAN HELLO MAY I SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS WITH YOU HELLO I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU WE ARE PERFECT MATCHES I LOVE YOU AND I NEED YOU YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME PLEASE MARRY ME

They're... they certainly are.

ALSO OH MY GOD.

THIS ONE TIME WHEN SHERLOCK WAS JUST PACING AROUND THE ROOM AT 3 AM GOING "IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE >:(((" AND HUDSON LIKE BARGED IN TO COMPLAIN AND THEN WATSON WAS LIKE DUDE YOU GOTTA STOP DOING THIS AND PROCEEDS TO SAY THE LINE "YOU ARE KNOCKING YOURSELF UP, OLD MAN"

BAHGHSFHGRHEWHEWHIFEW

BRB SOBBING

CALLING HIM AN OLD MAN???? KNOCKING HIMSELF UP?? I DONT KNOW WHATS FUNNIER

The main highlight of this part was I have now gotten to see him have a great time watching his homo homie get married

Its so fucking funny.......

I was prepared for a funny reaction by yuumori sherlock's face when he said it lol but. Damn i was really not prepared tbh

watson: I'm engaged!

sherlock: *pained groaning*

watson: do you... not like her?

sherlock: no she's fine she's great you'll be wonderful together bUT I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE HETEROSEXUAL WATSON DO I HAVE TO MARRY MYSELF THEN WATSON? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME MARRY MYSELF.

watson: yeah... yeah... fair, I feel really bad because you did this whole case and I got a girlfriend out of it and all you got was me leaving you alone fuck man im sorry what are you gonna do without me

sherlock, highly sarcastic: dont worry watson I've always got my handy cocaine! *pulls it out and gets high in front of watson just as he's about to leave*

watson: *in fucking agony*

sherlock: good for you!

I DONT EVEN- THIS SCENE KILLED ME MULTIPLE TIMES OVER WHAT

ITS SO GODDAMN NONCHELANT ABOUT IT SHERLOCK IS JUST LIKE YEAH I WILL IN FACT NOT BE MENTALLY HEALTHY IF YOU ARE NOT WITH ME 24/7 BUT WHATEVER YOU DO YOU /S

I'd like to apologize to watson on sherlock's behalf lmao. man is being a bit too codependent on main

The last thing about sign of four I do need to address is yeah, there's the Horrific Amounts Of Racism in that one and the whiplash hearing it is just ridiculous because they seem to be so knowledgeable in all other areas and fairly... politically correct, taking sherlock's original misogyny as a purposeful character flaw, but then they just mention someone indigenous once and suddenly its all parrotting racist propaganda and just... really awful shit. There's no way I'm gonna speak for the group that just got absolutely hate crimed here but anyone can tell the author just has no clue what he's fucking talking about and it's physically painful.

And I don't know, it's just so bad it seems out of character? Doyle's making these motherfuckers say shit that honestly, Sherlock would know better about. And especially Watson. Come on, you cannot tell me watson is mentally capable of being prejudiced against someone. Please do not make him that way.

I'm not sure how to handle it specifically, or what's the proper way I should handle something like that in a media I otherwise like. Is it ok to say Doyle was clearly a piece of shit on the matter and separate those characters from his bias or is that insensitive?

I don't know, I was Not a fan of it and I'm glad to see they've at least finally shut up about the guy

But anyway yeah, uhhhh onto the short stories because I'm trying to read those before I get to the final problem

Scandal in Bohemia was a fucking ride, first of all, before we even get to Sherlock's girlboss arc we have to discuss how gay the whole situation was and how Doyle's attempt at making them less gay failed spectacularly

Like he's all "ah yes I need to marry off watson and uhhh make sherlock ummmm interact with a woman so they dont look gay" but he does it SO BADLY that it makes them look EVEN GAYER

cause i mean, even the conversation they had about watson getting married back in sign of four was gay af, but how Doyle handled things afterward was in no way straighter.

Cause you know, the man kind of wrote himself into a corner with the fact of Watson narrating these stories. So Watson has to be around to witness them, and to witness Sherlock's own thought process rather privately, so he has to be around sherlock at night, a lot. But trying to come up with a reason for that happening just... it didn't occur to Doyle. He just went. Ah yes this makes sense. And it's Watson just like Sleeping Over At Sherlock's like every other goddamn day and every time his wife leaves town and having them basically still live that cute domestic home life but they have absolutely no excuses for doing it anymore. It's quite funny

Like it was gay already the way they interacted when they officially lived together but it was like, a necessity for them. Now it's not, Watson just comes over because he goddamn wants to, and it's hilarious to me.

LIKE IDK I THINK THEY KIND OF BROKE UP FOR A YEAR OR SO BC OF WATSON GETTING MARRIED AND THEY LIKE DONT HAVE CONTACT WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT ONE DAY WATSON JUST INEXPLICABLY HAS THE URGE TO COME VISIT SHERLOCK ON NO NOTICE AND THEN SUDDENLY THEY ARE TOGETHER NEAR 24/7 AGAIN LIKE BARELY ANYTHING CHANGED AHIEHOEWH

SIT DOWN AND TRY TO TELL ME THOSE ARE NOT HOMOSEXUALS

Watson walks in on no fucking notice after a full year and Sherlock is just. In the middle of some experiment obviously but hes like

Sherlock, carrying around unidenfiable chemical mixtures: W A T S O N you look good you look good! i see you've gained seven pounds!!

watson: uh. thanks??? Hey lol *awkwardly waves* Uh um Wanted to Uhm sEe you

Sherlock: ABOUT gODDAMN TIME AND YES WONDERFUL LOOK LOOK SIT DOWN I HAVE THINGS TO INFODUMP ABOUT

watson: :) ok :) *turns to camera* and we were back to the old days

sherlock: makes a deduction

watson: wowwwwwwwwwwww !! so true bestie !!

sherlock: !!!!!!!!! :))) !!!!! :))) uh fuck im supposed to be smooth Its Elementary Lol

watson: *turns to camera* when i stroke his ego like this and compliment him he blushes like a girl like i just complimented his dress so i do it more because he likes it. this is a homie trait

watson: well i should probably get going! my wife will notice that i am gone my dear buddy bro homie!

sherlock: NO DONT LEAVE IM LOST WITHOUT YOU (pretty much a direct quote lol) your. wife doesn't. get back home until monday. I know this because I am smart and definitely have not been stalking you.

watson: alright :)))))

AND THEN HE FUCKING SLEEPS OVER LMAO FUCKING HOMOS

So yeah they're right back where they were before pretty much and there's a case bc of course there is

And honestly I think this short story specifically was so insane mostly just because of how absolutely fast it all went. Yuumori kind of made me believe the original Irene Adler was more of an important character than she really is? And I think that's. Honestly so funny. Motherfucker shows up for ten pages, girlbosses her way around town, and changes sherlock's entire opinion of the female gender while still keeping him gay?

LIKE NO LOL SHES NOT IN ANY WAY A LOVE INTEREST AND WATSON GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO SPECIFY THE FACT THAT IN NO WORLD WOULD THEY HAVE BEEN ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED BECAUSE. SHERLOCK. DIDN'T DATE WOMEN.

HE WAS JUST??? SO IMPRESSED AND SHELL SHOCKED BY HER EXISTENCE HE DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR GIRLBOSS APPRECIATION DAY TODAY AND ALL DAYS HENCEFORTH???

AND THEY HAVE LIKE O N E INTERACTION?? God, the power this woman(?) has. Watson looks at her once like. damb shawty 😳 and she's like "no<3" and he's like FUCK

Like yeah it's pretty much just the king walking up like "help girl the whore is blackmailing me" and sherlock being like "ok lol this will be easy" and then it proceeded to not in fact be easy or even possible

sherlock like... posed as a dead body and tried to get her to give up the location of the photo but she out-acted him and skipped the town the next day after doing the 'good night mr. sherlock holmes' thing with sherlock completely tricked

and she just. sends a letter like "dear sherlock holmes. you're a fucking idiot and i think it's funny that you lost. nice job tho mad respect" and sherlock just SHORT CIRCUITS

the king comes back a bit later like "hey Dude where's my Photo" and sherlock's like oh yeah uhhhhhhhhhhh about that and the king is like HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THAT GODDAMN HARD i would have dated someone more noble if she wasn't so pretty i swear im on a whole different level from her

and then. GIRLBOSSIFIED SHERLOCK HOLMES RESPONDS "from what I have seen of the lady, she seems indeed to be on a very different level from your majesty" ABSEHHESHEFHHFES ROASTED

and the dude just LEAVES

After that I read a few more of the short stories and well the highlights I got from that pretty much were these conversations

Watson: sherlock. honey. have you. eaten anything today

Sherlock: IT DIDNT OCCUR TO ME DEAR WATSON

Watson: ITS FIVE PM

and:

Sherlock: *having one of his Moment Moments at three in the goddamn mornig* GRRRR CRIME ISNT WHAT IT USED TO BE

Watson: MY DEAR SHERCOCK WHAT IS CRIME S U P P O S E D TO BE LIKE ACCORDING TO YOU

Sherlock: no one's original anymore fucking copycats

Watson: so you want the criminals to make things harder for you specifically.

Sherlock, exasperated: yes!

I love them your honor.

[skittles1229]

Old Expectations Die Hard (Dashie x Reader Fanfic)

Chapter One: Weird Circumstances

You know your life is complicated when the friend you always complain to says "you never have a dull moment do you?" I sigh as the weight of the world seems to make it impossible to breath. You see recently things have been rough. I lost my job and my fiance all in the same day, that itself was an unbelievable story. I was so upset and strung out on thoughts of what to do that once i got home early from work i didn't notice the extra car in the driveway. i stepped into my home and my own floors felt as if they'd given way when i saw the guy i thought i'd be spending my life with in bed, with my sister... my sister and i hadn't been on good terms for a while and for a good reason! The drugs she took either made her unreliable and selfish or crazy and murderous. He, of course, pulled the its not what you think, id never hurt you, it was a mistake, and honestly i could write a book out of the excuses i heard in the time of two minutes but maybe another time. Needless to say i left. I never thought about going back and to be honest my sister looked more hurt then i was. I took a job in California a few weeks ago and moved in with my friend (BFF Name). They always seemed to know what to say and honestly i truly believe They  knew me better then i know myself. 

California gave me the biggest culture shock I've ever had. I came from Mississippi, the bible belt and the most rural part of the world. California was sooooo different then what i was use to. The weather is awesome. There's lots of jobs for technical people, at least until you're 45 and then you're considered ancient and you can't possibly know anything when some 23-year old out of Stanford tells you that they know it all. (a little bit of sarcasm there) It's a great place to start a new company, money is available as is talent. The risk of starting a company is lower since you can always find a new job The politics are insane, if you aren't towing the progressive party line you should just STFU. If you even once say that Trump has done something positive, or that Obama did something negative prepare for the wrath. Read the stuff behind the recently filed lawsuit against google for a taste of what it's like. Seriously, don't say a word. The state if structurally bankrupt, although the finances look good because so much stuff is off of the balance sheet. The public pension liability dwarfs the "good" part of the budget, and some day it is coming home to roost. Watch out when it does. The cost of living is absurd, really absurd. I'm not talking just a place to live but gas, electricity, haircuts, milk, pizza, you name it. The traffic is absurd too. (can you tell i like the word absurd) The public transit, although usually on time, is a mess. People are pigs, they throw trash everywhere, the cars are overcrowded almost all the time. 

I've got to say, from how much it sounds like i hate California, i actually don't.  Mainly because its so far away from my original family, leaving really helped me start to grow up and feel like maybe i was getting a hold of my life again. Only problem has been getting to my new job on time. I work as a barista and a waitress at a brunch place a good minute away from the apartment. The money is good, otherwise i wouldn't waste my time with the commute everyday. i keep being late to work because i still haven't adjusted to how terrible traffic is and so my boss was "nice" enough to switch me to the later shifts. The hours are long and boring because my shift starts in the middle of rush hour to the slowest hours at the end of the day meaning you have to find things to keep yourself busy with. the only good thing is, we can wear pretty much anything we want as long as its black. all i wear is dark colors so i didn't have to spend any extra money on a uniform and i didn't have to wear the same thing everyday. Today i decided i wear a v-neck shirt that with an emperor waist (body forming) with black skinny jeans and my regular converse. i decided against driving to work and decided it would be far smarter to catch a bus to the nearest destination. My (hair color) hair was done is a fishtail messy braid, i always liked this style because it made me look like i had a head full of hair when in reality i thought i was going bald. 

My personality was a little odd, you see some days i felt like the beautiful nerd who has no confidence and wants to hide away in a hole. other days i feel like a model from Victoria secrets, of course those are the days i get the most tips. today was honestly a mutual day, where id rather be at home in my bed asleep, or listening to music. The bus finally stopped a block away from my job and i sighed obviously not wanting to go into work. surprisingly there wasn't nearly  as many cars as there usually is around this time but i wasn't complaining. i walk in to see that most of the downstairs was empty but whoever was upstairs definitely had a loud mouth. i walk to the back in order to clock in and i bump into melany ( the girl im shifting with). "wow you actually got here on time! Maybe the boss's mood will cheer up." i huffed a little. "yea, i dont know why i thought id need a car in California, say whats with the low level of customers? its NEVER this slow." she looked at me in disdain, "some guys reserved the entire upstairs and we had to make this huge table out of all our tables up there, glad im not gonna be the one fixing it later." i rolled my eyes, i hated when a huge family came in and they just had to move everything around because little johnny wants the sit next to suzzie and suzzie HAS to sit by her parents bc she likes to throw her food on the floor, all fake names but a real situation ive been in before. "well have they at least been fed so that i only have to clean up after them?" she shook her head while hanging up her apron. "nope, they've only ordered their drinks and they are getting those onto trays now." so today was gonna be like every other day. "guess i better go help them take those upstairs then, have a good rest of your day." i walk away and slip on my apron, grabbed one of the trays of drinks while another waiter grabbed the rest of the drinks. Once i got upstairs, that's when i met him...

Chapter Two: Last Will and Testament

          He was sitting on the far end of the long table of people laughing and joking. everyone seemed to be loud and all had their own inside jokes. This guy, he stuck out. i changed my attention to the task at hand, finishing this shift. i hated when people moved all the tables and seating around. all the waiters and waitresses have to go back behind them and look at the layout of the floor to put them all back exactly as they were before. it was a struggle and because of this nobody actually wanted that job so usually the manager gives it to her least favorite workers and i happened to be one. "who all had coke?" nobody answered me so one of the men bellowed out the same line and somehow was able to get a show of hands. i walked around handing  out drinks, catching the lingering smell of strong liquor. i could tell by the end of tonight they would all be wasted and loud. please, just don't make more of a mess then you have to, i thought to myself. i had one drink left on my tray, "sweet tea?" the guy i saw before at the end of the table waved his hand and i dreaded going over there, i always seem to make a fool of myself when it matters. 

     i make my way slowly down the table with the tray under my arm and the tea in my hand. i lean over to sit his drink on the table.."here's your t-" *CRASH* while joking with one of his friends his elbow crashes into my hand sending the tea flying all over me and the cup crashing to the floor, thank god i wore black. he turned around and looked more horrified then i did. "i'm sorry! i'm so sorry!" his voice was deeper then i imagined it'd be. "no, it my fault i'm sorry ill get you a new one." i turned away to hide my embarrassment and walked away really just trying to get away from the situation. i could tell from the silence behind me that all eyes were on me. i ran to the back where the lockers were for the service. i went to the bathroom and stripped the sticky clothes off throwing them aside. i sat on the toilet  trying to catch my breath, my social anxiety had struck me  hard. a feeling of worthlessness and dread fell over me like a blanket. after the past few months i've had just one day without something terrible happening would mean the world to me. i heard a knock on the door, it was melany, she walked in with a towel from the kitchen. "hey, i heard what happen upstairs are you ok?" i covered my breast trying keep myself as unexposed as possible. "oh yea im fine, im just cold, and sticky, and... covered in tea." melany and i made eye contact and both laughed just to lift the dread in the air. "let me guess, all the guys are getting a kick out of watching me fumble again huh?" i said a little less concerned and more annoyed. she rolled her eyes "they are boys, they get a kick out of picking their own nose. we both slid to the floor beside each other, she hands me the damp towel. i get most of the sticky off as possible, throwing my hair up to make it look less clumped together by the sugar. "i have an extra black t shirt in my locker but i don't know how it will fit you. your breast are at least a size larger then mine." i shrugged my shoulders, "who cares ill make do. thanks for your help melany." she smiled her weird anime girl smile and ran to get the shirt from her locker.

     ill have to admit, she was right about the size thing. it was far to small around the chest area but the rest fit fine. after the incident my boss stuck me down stairs wiping tables and sweeping the floor, i dont mind though because i get to experience the day coming to an end with a beautiful sunset over California. i secretly kept the the window to watch as the sun fell from the sky. the sky seemed to burn and darken while the clouds began to glow with the last bit of sunlight left. the sky filled up with burning Burgundy and faded orange and yellows, the tallest buildings seemed to reach for the skyline as if it were a sunflower moving to the last drip of sunlight. moving here had been hard, and this had become one of the things i looked forwards to. living in the apartment with my friend was nice, buts its not the same as coming home to someone you use to lay with every night. sleeping alone seemed so much colder and emptier then i remembered from childhood. my mother would be so disappointed in the way i turned out, in the places id gone and the decision to spend my life with someone who was most obviously the wrong one. she would have told me to slow down and to take my time, that growing up wasn't everything. she would have said love isn't something you just wake up and have, its something you make. i wasn't anywhere close to where i thought id be by now, and i could see that. it tears at my heart everyday, not being able to see her or any of my family. sometimes it felt as if they'd all died in the fire that night. 

     i suddenly heard a boom of voices making their way down the stairs, i hadn't realized how close to closing time it had become. all of them walk out stumbling and laughing at their own jokes, seems they all got a good bit of drinking in, all except one. The guy i ran into on accident seemed as sober as ever, designated driver i think, he was much taller now. he seemed muscular but in such a fitting way for his body. his teeth sparkle because their so white, his smile complimented him best. his high cheekbones made his chocolate brown eyes his best feature. His skin was glowing with a sweet honey hue and before i could notice that i was staring he turned his head. his eyes met mind before i could think twice and that's when i felt the heat rise to my cheeks. weather it be from embarrassment or silly school girl shyness i didn't know . i turned my face away but it was too late, i turned my face a little just to catch a glimpse of him before he made his way out of the door and that's when i noticed his cheeks had gone from a burnt caramel to a rosy color. i felt my body shiver at the thought that maybe, just maybe he found me as attractive as i found him. i shook the thought from head realizing they had began locking the place down. as i helped close up shop and wash dishes i couldn't help but to let my mine wander to all different kinds of thoughts, funny thing was they always fell back to him and his rosy  cheeks. i couldn't help but smile as i felt my heart race at the thought of him, even though id made a fool of myself today i was glad i hadn't ruined my chances. Even if he'd never get with me or i wouldn't ever see him again, i'd still take it as a compliment that he even looked my way. 

     before long we were all outside laughing and talking about today. The manager locked the doors and said his goodbyes. i turn to walk towards the bus station when i see a man standing aside awkwardly between the restaurant and the parking lot. suddenly my eyes adjusted and once they did, the joyousness butterflies came back and the blush suddenly reappeared on my cheeks..

There are lots more chapter after this if you are interested you can find them here

https://my.w.tt/sosFRmianbb

[roughentumble]

Honestly I really kinda hope Yenralt isn't endgame. I know that's laughably unlikely, but :/

I can dream a little dream

I loved them in the books (I cried like a baby at the end of lady of the lake specifically bc they [REDACTED] before they got the chance to [REDACTED]) but I'm not sold on Henry's Geralt or the potential groveling

Henry needs to grovel and ask for MY forgiveness for shoving a stick so far up his [REDACTED] he could barely move, let alone act

gshdjsbdkdns ahhhh im sorry, but i disagree on the henry front!

henry doesnt need to "grovel" imo. obviously everyone will have different opinions, and liking an actor is extremely subjective, but he's the one who convinced hissrich to let roach's send-off be a quiet emotional moment. who brought that speech to the table. who pushed for more sign usage in the show. he loves the witcher, his geralt has a lot of love put into him. ive never felt he was "stiff", personally. he shows plenty on his face, and a lot of awkward standing is pretty clearly from confused blocking, to my eye(one of my favorite scenes actually suffers from this, in s1e3 when geralt and triss confront ostrit, there's a point where geralt walks up to him, then away, then back again with little character motivation, and it looks awkward. but this isnt a stiff acting decision, he wouldve been told where to go and at what points in the scene. someone blocked it weirdly. and there's only so much an actor can do to make up for something like that.) i find him to be perfectly believable, likable, emotional, and geralt-y! also, im not sure why you thought i, netflix!geralt apologist extraordinaire(tm) *tips tophat*, would ever agree that cavill's acting was a core problem with any facet of the show, haha. i just like his acting! and he seems suitably in love, in all the most foolish and trusting ways, with yennefer. up until she makes an unforgivable(in his eyes) decision.

anyway. to get around to the yenralt thing-- i can definitely see why people would be put off it in netflix's adaptation, they are(to my knowledge) both crueler to each other than they were in the books, with less actual emotional meat and interactions to back it up. which makes it harder to root for, harder to see the heart of the relationship present in other versions! and ive always been a fan of platonic yenralt coparents, as a concept, though how much i'd want to see that in an official release.... 😬 im of two minds about it, personally, and could see it going either way. (i'll expand on this in a second, hold on lemme make a new post)

but i dont really think henry needs to grovel to the fans for the sins of the writers and directors telling him what to say and where to stand, doubly so when all interviews point to the idea that he pushes back on them frequently on geralt's behalf.

[audiovisualrecall]

We got yelled at (or at least..scolded?) at work and the frustrating part is that a) I wasnt part of the group of ppl hanging out chatting, I'd just come back from break and was taking care of some losses before getting more stuff to pack out/go on the floor.

And the other thing that's bothering me besides being lumped in w the kiddos, is that when our atl asked what we'd been doing between the time other atl left and he clocked in, my brain went totally blank and then decided to say I'd gone on my 10. Like??? He wanted to know....what we'd been working on....

and like I couldve said 'specialty' and he wouldve been like ok yeah, I couldve gone on and said 'specialty, mushrooms, and carrots/roots' but I didnt say any of that!! I did my work! If I dont focus on specialty (and carrots) it doesnt get done, so I did my sets and I also checked on the front value table too. So I did my work and I went on break as he came in and then I get back and no one else said anything either, and he was like it looks like nothing got done.

Like!! If specialty had become a mess in the ~10 mins I was gone on break then its 100% on the customers bc they scramble everything for funsies. And im not responsible for the other areas, I'm not responsible for my coworkers beyond discussing what we're gonna work on with them. I tried the whole 'getting them to work on the stuff I notice but cant do bc i have so much to do on whatever it is im working on' thing and I just felt like I was trying to micromanage my coworkers and that was a) not fun and b) not well-received.

They do hang out and chat and dont make sure at least 1 someone is on the floor at any given moment, sometimes, but im USUALLY not part of it, I usually do try to make sure someone is on the floor and literally a minute b4 our atl called us over to talk I asked my coworkers 'is anyone on the floor???!' And then was like you know what, nevermind, I'm not micromanaging (I'm not a manager or supervisor!!!) And I'm sure I'll be on the floor soon if they're not. And then atl decided to address it. Argh!

Anyway im just frustrated I couldn't figure out a way to be like 'hey serg, btw I was doing specialty and mushrooms and carrots all day, nothing changed for me when other atl left, and I did my work and was packing our whatever I could and trying to keep it neat' without it being awkward or like im throwing my coworkers under the bus...

so I didnt approach him to tell him this so he thinks I'm doing the same shit as the others and I havent been at all. and its frustrating also bc if id decided to WAIT till after he came in to go on my break, instead of trying to fit in two 10s (which didnt end up happening bc I felt like that would look bad after we got scolded...), then when he came on the floor I wouldve been either working on my areas or leveling stuff/running something else really quick.

Ie I wouldve been seen doing stuff and being the only one on the floor and if he called us all together to discuss their behavior then I wouldve known I wasnt being roped in with them he was just trying not to single me out in this scenario, but now I'm worried and theres no way to prove otherwise bc itll just look like we all got our acts together rather than mimi was consistently not a problem! Like just, UGH.

(What we need is to clone me a bunch of times bc then I'll be able to do apples And citrus And cut veg or salads AND all of specialty/mushrooms/carrots.)

Also tired of customers just fucking up whatever we pack out or beaten up while we've moved on to another area and then atl comes in right before we can go back to the areas that are now a mess and it looks like we havent done anything. And maybe some ppl havent but honestly besides a couple spots where we were absolutely out of stuff, my sets looked pretty good? I usually run a few things that are low right around 6:30 and then level mushrooms and then help level apples. Idk. Im just... whatever. I needed to get it out of my head bc rsd is a bitch, disapproval fucks my brain up apparently :c everyone should like me and know I'm always doing my best and working hard!!!!! (If atl came in right as other atl left he wouldve seen me working hard grr)

[youtuber-imagines-and-things]

Yeay, I'd enjoy that :D

Here it is! I started it yesterday so some are from yesterday….

1. What have you eaten today?

Pretzels and tacos


2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant?

I’ve never kissed anyone, my dude


3. What color shoes did you last wear?

Black


4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week?

The kid I babysit 


5. What is your favorite scent?

Fresh, warm laundry 


6. What is your favorite season? Why?

…. fall? I suppose. I love all of them. But fall because it’s so beautiful and I love how the air feels and the sound of leaves crunching under your feet


7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel?

No but I used to be able to do both


8. What color are your nails?

Light brown


9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be?

Just a small dot. I wouldn’t want a tattoo on my face but I can think of some tattoos I would get on my arms


10. What is something you find romantic?

Stargazing tho


11. Are you happy?

I’m just tired


12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad?

Happy: Tyler Oakley, you guys, my dog, Tony Bennett, Ed Sheeran, Hamilton

Sad: Certain Jimmy Buffett songs (weird, I know)


13. Dogs or Cats?

Do not do this to me


15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library?

Uhhhhh….. museum…. forest…. and library????? I love them all????


15. What is your style?

I don’t really have one? One day I’ll be “90’s”, the next I’ll be in sweatpants, the next I’ll be all dressed up…. just depends 


16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be?

Sleeping


17. Are you in a relationship or single?

Single, which I like right now 


18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now?

I don’t like anyone right now so, yep


19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with?

I would never replace my best friend or partner but I would totally wanna be friends with Mark or Tyler Oakley 


20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what?

Hell yeah I am. I’m holding on to every awkward thing I’ve ever done


21. How did you celebrate last Halloween?

By handing out candy with my parents 


22. Have you recently made any big decisions?

Not really


23. Were you ever in a school play?

Yes!!! I was a ladybug. And my character was worried about everything, ahhhh… predicting the future since kindergarten 


24. What movie would you use to describe your life?

Toby Migure’s SpiderMan movies….. a joke 


25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

I’ve already done what I wanted to! I wanted to drive around the country and I got to for a month and a half


26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

…all of my insecurities and things I worry about 


27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex?

I’m going to go with things I remember about girls from school because they were all exactly the same

They are not open minded at all and they spread rumors constantly 


28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

Again, going with what I remember from school

They are also not open minded and they think being racist, sexist, and homophobic is funny


29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week?

Seeing those pics I reblogged of the cat made my week


30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it?

this world 


31. How long was your longest relationship?

I don’t really count it bc I was like 10 but my longest friendship has lasted 10 years! Going on 11 this year


32. Have you ever been in love?

No


33. Are you currently in love?

No


34. Why did your last relationship end?

Again, don’t count it


35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it?

Just moon earrings that I think I got from a little shop in Georgia… maybe a place in Oregon? Or Texas😂 one of those three!


36. When was the last time you cried and why?

A few weeks back and I don’t even know why


37. Name someone pretty.

You


38. What did you receive last Valentines Day?

My sister and I bought each other chocolate and watched rom-coms 


39. Do you get jealous easily?

Nah


40. Have you ever been cheated on?

No


41. Do you trust your partner/best friend?
YES

42. Ever had detention?

Nope


43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city?

Either? I love both 


44. What do people call you?

Emmer and Emmanuel and an onion


45. What was the last book you read?

I hate myselfie 


46. How big of a nerd/dork are you?

……..


47. What kind of music do you listen to?

Pretty much anything from ‘40’s to now


48. How tall are you?

5'6" or so


49. Do you like kids?

Yes and no? I love certain kids that are being raised right and aren’t little dirt bags 24/7


50. Favorite fruits?

Cantaloupe, strawberries, mangos, red raspberries and blackberries 


51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Jeans


52. What’s your earliest memory?

I don’t know how old I was (younger than nine) but it was basically waking up on Christmas to see my new trampoline and my brother took me out, in the snow, to jump on it


53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you?

No which I’m alright with


54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind


55. Do you have a collection of anything?

Stuff from my trips


56. Do you save money or spend it?

Kinda both?


57. What would your dream house be like?

It would be my old house which would take me a long time to describe


58. What top 5 things make you the angriest?

People repeating the same dumb actions, HEaRinG PeoPlE chEw, people wrongly accusing others and not bothering to listen to every side of the story, people getting offended when you get defensive because they said something horrible, PEOPLE HATING ON MY BABY TONY STARK ALL DAY EVERYDAY 


59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face?

Tyler Oakley, my dogs, my cats, my brother, my best friend, *screaming bc this is six* Tony Bennett


60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Save the dog! I hate babysitting anyways and it’s a dog


61. 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a.) I’d tell whoever was close to meb.) spend time with those I love and maybe do something I never imagined myself doingc.) Probably 


62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

If there is a key, then there must also be a lock


63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Umm…. this is tough… I’d say St. Augustine, Florida. It’s a family tradition 


64. Do you like the beach?

Actually, not really. I LOVE the warmth/weather and I love being in the water but I absolutely HATE the sand. I don’t like the sand. It’s course and rough and irritating…


65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special?

I’ve shared a couch and bed with my best friend😂


66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it!

I do! McKenzie!


67. Do you talk to yourself?

All of the time


68. Describe your hair.

It’s dirty blonde with a dumbass light blonde streak that is fading away (I didn’t want the streak) and it’s like Mark’s hair


69. What is the meaning of life.

Honestly, I don’t know yet.


70. What is your ideal partner like?

Kind, open minded, funny, understanding, good listener, ANIMAL LOVER, I could go on…


71. Do you want to get married?

Maybe? I don’t really think about it much


72. Do you want to have kids?

Again, maybe.


73. Like or dislike your family?

Overall, I love my family. 


74. Are you Chunky or Slim?

Slim 


75. Would you consider yourself smart?

I suppose? I dont know, I think I’m pretty dumb.


76. What would you change about your life?

Not much really? I would like to change how I have anxiety but hey…


77. Religious or Not?

I’ve been questioning this lately! I’m not completely sure…….


78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

My sister


79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

Nah bc I haven’t kissed anyone


80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

Nope


81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

I don’t wish to be with anyone right now 


82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

*opens door* Welcome in, nobody 


83. Do you like when people play with your hair?

FUCK YES


84. Do you like bubble baths?

YeSsSs


85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop?No


86. Have you ever danced in the rain?

Yes!


87. Do you trust anyone with your life?

My brother and my best friend 


88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?“Fuck yeah, I have ten more minutes to sleep”


89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week)

Not in any order…. Ireland, England, Germany, Australia, Japan, Canada, New York City (loved it), Astoria Oregon, and Scotland 


90. How was your day today?

It was alright actually 


91. Play an instrument?

No but I was trying to learn guitar before my grandfather got sick. I didn’t go through with it


92. Describe the what you think of the ocean.

fuck the ocean❤️


93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

I believe in both honestly


94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be?

No


95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side?

I guess?


96. When are you vulnerable?

It depends on what this means? I’m vulnerable when listening to music, lost in thought, when reading, writing, and when I’m out walking


97. How much free time do you have?

Too much. It never feels like free time though. It just feels like time when I bring myself down and feel sorry for myself 


98. Do you like to go hiking?

YES


99. Odd or Even Numbers?

both????


100. Would you ever go skydiving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities?

Possibly. I would be terrified but with the right person I’d be excited!