#also sorry if you dont like cats and sasha does not help you feel better :/

[ftm-radio]

Hey man can i ask fir some encouragement please? I have to fill out this form for a course im doing but im still a minor and also closeted so i havent been able to legally cgange my name and i cant put down my preferred gender or title lest my parents see it (and i also dont know if i CAN legally do that because my gender marker isnt changed either) and its stressing me out so much that ive been putting it off for months and i cant even explain to anyone IRL why its stressing me out so much.

I know ill feel better once its done but the thought of having to put down the wrong stuff makes me so miserable that i dont even want to submit it :(((

and then ill have to deal with people calling me that name for another year and then even when i can finally change it ill have to deal with people adjusting to the change and asking me why i changed it and ill probably have to out myself at some point too and deal with everyone asking me about that and insulting me

Overall pretty miserable rn and i feel like shit

oh no I'm so sorry dude! I totally understand what you're feeling. I still have to use my deadname for shit sometimes (way more often than I'd like to) and it stings every time.

unfortunately, until you can legally change your name and whatnot, all you can do is grit your teeth and muscle through it. the hard part is doing it, but once it's done you don't have to worry about it. having to tell people the wrong name is absolutely awful, but you won't have to do it forever and someday this crap will be a distant hurt that you won't even think about. (and honestly I've had to do it often enough that I cringe a little less, so hopefully you can also develop some resistance to it over time?)

regardless, promise you can handle this, because you're stronger than you know. 😤💕

and when you CAN finally use & tell people the proper name, their having to adjust to it is 1000% not your problem. if they can't learn a new name that's on them, and after you get through this part of your life you won't have to worry about folks adjusting bc they'll know you with the right name the entire time. it might be a while till you get there, but the important thing is you will get there.

and if they insult you over it when you come out, remember that they're just close-minded assmonkeys who don't deserve to take up any space in your brain. and if they do manage to wriggle in there and make you feel bad, you can always come and say hey and we can call them assmonkeys together.

I'm sorry you're not having a good time right now, but I hope I could manage to cheer you up a lil bit.

in case my words aren't enough, here are some pictures of my cat. she's dumb but also the best.