#I honestly don't know which will win
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Logical side of my brain: Dorym college AU deserves your attention right now. You have so many ideas for it and you need to actually write it.
Monkey brain: Hehoo, AU where Dorym turn evil and are absolutely in love with how evil the other is
#I honestly don't know which will win#I'm stressed so brain is coping by making more AUs#me looking at dorym: you two should kiss
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every time i see someone shit on the xianzhou story quest on twitter i die a little bit inside.
#narus' corner#SO LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW EVERYONE HATED XIANZHOU BECAUSE EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHERS AND ANCESTORS HAD PULLED UP THEORY AFTER THEORY#AND WHEN SAID THEORY DID NOT FCKING GO ALONG WITH WHAT THE ACTUAL WRITERS HAD IN STORE HELL BROKE LOOSE#ion think u understand#maybe im biased. i probably am but the way hoyoverse tackled immortality with xianzhou is quite bittersweet honestly#YA'LL WANTED UR DOOMED YAOI AND YURI AND TBH ME TOO BUT THEY ARE STILL FCKING DOOMED EVEN IF SOME THEORIES DID NOT GO AS MOST SHIPPERS WANT#THEY STILL DOOMED MILADYS AND GENTS AND NONBINARY PEEPS DAN HENG IS SUFFERING FROM PTSD AS WE SPEAK.#u look at xianzhou and see predecessors suffering the consequences of what their ancestors wanted because of immortality and vow to stop it#because they been fighting people against GALAXIES who wants a taste of that immortality who also don't KNOW THE CONSEQUENCES OF IT WHICH I#LITERALLY GETTING MARA-STRUCK WHENEVER UR MEMORIES OVERLOAD FROM LIVING TOO LONG AND GO: damn this was shit writing cause i didn't understa#IMMA AAAH#eternal wars where when u find peace after winning you DON'T BECAUSE YOU TURN MARA-STRUCK FROM THE AMOUNT OF TRAUMA U HAVE#when immorality isn't immortality in a sense u can't be killed but long lifespan but then u can't even live said long lifespan#because u get mara-struck from participating in wars to protect AND YA'LL COME OVER HERE AND SAY BAD WRITING?!#and don't come with what the fuck is phantylia doing#ion think u understand how fucked we would've been if phantylia managed to actually absorb that ambrosial arbor AS A GODDAMN EMANATOR#OF DESTRUCTION OF ALL THINGS?! YA'LL WANT INFINITE HEALING WHILE GETTING BLASED OR SMTH!?!#and the aftermath which was probs the most hated on#imma just.#imma shut up LMFAO
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hi GT!
Lionheart had me the moment you kicked it off with “it’s a nice day to start again.” Might i ask why you chose that particular line?
And, if you havent already answered to this emoji:
❄️
P.s: you have my eternal gratitude for creating the most brilliant piece of writing i’ll ever read. I shout about it from the rooftops, share it on my socials, requested my spouse to read it so we may discuss it together (in lieu of a present for my 30th birthday), et cetera.
I see from your URL you are a fellow lad of taste.
There's a couple things going on in the epigraph for Book 1. On one level, it's a lyric from the first muggle song I picture Draco listening to on his walkman at the end of the book, so there's a cute full-circle thing there. The second layer is the theme of change and redemption, which, in Lionheart, doesn't so much come from major moments or self-sacrifice, but from the slow, grueling, everyday work of living, and living better. It's a nice day to start again because every day is. You always have the opportunity to start making better choices, no matter what lies behind you. That's the thesis of any Draco redemption arc, right? You have to imagine that he could have chosen to be better.
And then thirdly, there's the audacity of doing a full Hogwarts canon rewrite, a good 30 years after the original books came out, millions upon millions of words of fanfic later, and basically asking everyone to read the same story they did the first time around, only different. So it's a kind of winking entreaty. It's saying to readers, many of whom are understandably wary of doing it over, zeroing out the characters to starting positions, and starting from the beginning with 11-year-olds all over again. It's going: "hey. That was fun, right? Why not do it again?"
#thank you so much for the compliment -- honestly it's terribly kind#i hope your spouse likes it. for their own sake also because by god that is so much assigned reading#you're iconic for that tbh. all birthdays should come with a syllabus#oh! and ❄️ ⇢ what’s your dream theme/plot for a fic#and who would write it best?#tbh i've wanted someone to write a really good pacific rim AU for years and years#and it has always fallen juuuuust low enough on my writing pile for me to never get around to it#like it's always the thing i want to write 3rd most and i only let myself have 2 projects at a time#not sure who would write that best - I think anyone who loves and Gets the movies#the premise of which is 'what if you and your soulmate could pilot a 50-foot mech by having mindsex so good it killed godzilla?'#and if you don't want to stand up and cheer just thinking about that i don't know what to tell you. perhaps you have never seen a movie#also like it's about love and trust and trauma and healing. AND killing really giant monsters#and it takes itself JUST seriously enough to nail all of that without getting mopey or goofy#movie of all time. someday i will kiss guillermo del toro on the lips#in my (delusional) world his oscar win was actually a belated award for pacific rim.
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i understand why charles signed the mega contract with ferrari and why it's important to him to stay and win with ferrari but dammit lestappen rbr would've given us some of the best racing in recent memory
#lestappen#silly season 2023#more rambling and conspiracy theories in the tags#what's interesting is who is going to replace checo because i think it's very likely he'll be out of a seat by end of the season#danny ric is obviously a possibility but CH wants someone who can match max which is impossible because he's max verstappen#the only driver it would be possible would be charles because they have similar driving styles and are both generational talents#oscar piastri i think will be targeted but he did just put out a statement that he's happy at mclaren so who knows#i don't think lando will leave mclaren#i think we'll get danny ric for 2024 -> liam lawson into torro rosso seat -> liam lawson to rbr in 2025#similarly who will replace carlos at ferrari in 2025 though! i honestly think either alex albon or pierre gasly#they want a second driver to charles's first and both have proven they can win races and i think both would take being 2nd to charles alrig#or maybe oscar to ferrari but i don't think it would be good for oscar he deserves to be n1 driver#and then obviously there's my crackpot lestappen ferrari 2029 theory#in which max will not really be content until he wins at f1 (breaks the championship record + wins with ferrari)#and we get lestappen teammates trading off world championships#a girl can dream
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god why must you give me a lando hater mom 😭😭
#she's a big hamilton fan (because of senna)#so she's like 'um no yeah lando is like a kid who treats lewis badly'#and i'm like 'no mom lewis used to do the same'#and she's like 'um no but he was winning lando isn't'#how do i undaughter myself???#f1#formula 1#lando norris#f1 2024#lando#f1 fandom#ln4#she doesn't even watch F1 she jus follows the gossip#and she just follows the gossip because i like f1#which honestly: cute.#BUT NOT LIKE THIS#(also pls i know lando in the cooldown room in hungary was acting childish)#(don't come at me!! i myself thought that what lewis said was well deserved)
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episode 5 has left me considering the different - and similar - ways taeyoung and kwonsook think about themselves, and how they respond to pain/violence.
kwonsook calls herself a monster, someone who goes crazy in the boxing ring. that monster, she says, was created by her father, and her father used abuse, violence, and emotional manipulation to create that monster. he didn’t treat her like human, so it’s no surprise that the way she talks about herself when she boxes is as if she’s discussing an animal: she gets cornered, gets scared for her life, and lashes out to kill. she calls herself a monster with resignation; it’s not what she wanted to be, but she knows it’s what she was. she ran away to escape that monstrosity, to live as a human, doing good things, but that part of her never really died.
taeyoung, too, calls himself a monster. he’s a SOB, he does thing no one with an ounce of humanity would do. he seemingly has no qualms about what he does, perhaps because he can always justify it to himself, always has an exit prepared for when things really get bad (until, i’m sure, he doesn’t). like kwonsook, taeyoung accepts the label of monster, accepts his own inhumanity, even if they are inhuman in very different ways. whereas kwonsook wants to break away from that monstrous part of her - she’s only returned so she can free herself from that part of herself permanently (and if she finds a way to box without a monster, then...) - taeyoung embraces it. it’s through being a monster that he’s found success, how he secures futures for his athletes, and how he’s able to ‘solve’ their (and his) issues. monstrosity was not imposed on taeyoung, but (due to what we know so far) is something he chose for himself (although the factors surrounding this part of his past are decidedly murky).
in this episode, taeyoung and kwonsook also demonstrate similar responses to violence and (emotional) pain. when taeyoung upsets kwonsook by working with her father behind her back, he offers her an outlet for her anger by punching him. later on, after ahreum has already slapped kwonsook, instead of lashing out, kwonsook offers to let ahreum hit her again if it will make her feel better. in parallel responses, both ahreum and kwonsook debate taking that opportunity to hurt, but decide not to (kwonsook because she’s taking a chance on taeyoung, or moreso giving him another one, and ahreum because she decides that she doesn’t owe kwonsook that, that kwonsook is beneath her in terms of boxing, no longer on her level).
kwonsook learned to respond to pain at a young age. in boxing, you can’t flinch from the hit - you have to learn how to take the pain, absorb it, and get back up to hit again. outside of the rink, kwonsook absorbs the pain, but she doesn’t hit again. she’s experienced firsthand what her hits can do to people, and that terrified her. after all, she only boxed so that she could protect her mother. so when confronted with violence and pain, she takes the hit, because pain is what she knows and understands. it’s the emotions behind it that are hard for her. pain is easy for kwonsook, because she’s used to living through it, surviving it; beneath it, she’s always empty. she’s never really cared about boxing; it was what she had to do. the lee kwonsook that was a boxing genius was a monster she ran from, after all. but in order to break away from that monster, she has to come to understand the emotional investment of her fellow female boxers. before, they were just her opponents, never her friends, but now she has to face their own feelings about the sport, the passion they have for boxing that she never felt. like ara said, she didn’t feel happiness about winning, and kwonsook has never lost, so she’s never had to live with that humiliation, either. how her feelings will change in relation to boxing will likely be a reckoning for her.
taeyoung, on the other hand, is confronting his fair share of non-boxing sanctioned boxing. even though kwonsook is the boxer, it’s taeyoung who’s been touched by ‘true’ violence in this present timeline. his life is quite literally on the line, which has been shown again and again. he’s been ambushed by her father, threatened, blackmailed, and beaten up by chairman nam’s guys. he lives on the edge, anxious at every shadow, which is chewing him alive. to him, kwonsook’s anger is much easier to deal with. he knows she might hurt him, but his potential to hurt her is so much more (and if he does, in that case he’d find her anger justified, and probably let her beat him to death or something if what we’ve seen of his feelings for her is an indication of anything), and she might hurt him, but she’d never hurt him as much as other people in his life at the moment would (i.e. by killing him, or hurting the people he cares about). taeyoung is used to weathering the storm of other people’s dislike; he’s the scumbag, and he does bad things, deserves other people’s anger when it’s directed at him.
both taeyoung and kwonsook want to resolve things through violence. i think it’s telling that despite being two emotionally aware people, they both consider other people’s feelings to be so easily taken care of. they want the quick, instant pain, and then they want to get it over with. because the violence is what they’re used to, and to a degree it’s what they both think they deserve. however, what lies beneath that, what doesn’t go away with a single hit, is much harder for them to confront and understand.
#star stumbles#my lovely boxer#kdrama#my thoughts#in boxing you get hit and you hit someone else and whoever is still standing wins#and it's basically that way in the whole world of (physical) sports#and it's going to be so so good when they both end up embroiled in the very emotional situation that they both want to avoid at all costs#ie their feelings for each other / betrayal / broken trust / fear#i think i ended this poorly i kind of got distracted and honestly...honestly i don't KNOW what their response to violence really says#or how it's going to be played with throughout the drama#this text is the bare bones of what i can understand through what i've seen#and oh yes even though i know some people might argue that they're not emotionally aware i think they are...#both very emotionally mature. despite their actions they both know what's up in their hearts#and they're very adept at reading one another (or at least taeyoung is towards kwonsook i think she's getting there but she's also trying to#distance herself from him so. i do think she's ignoring some of what she'll probably reinterpret later on#nobody made taeyoung a monster he chose that path vs kwonsook left the path as soon as she was able to#and her getting punished for his bad deeds...even though at the end she admits they're both scumbags for going through with this deal#because she's understood that she'll hurt boxing whether good things come out of it or not#because she'll be disrespecting ahreum and everyone else by rigging the match and losing on purpose#which will probably add to her conflict later on#and taeyoung simultaneously struggles with not wanting to string her along vs stringing her along#because he's been upfront with her about how he's a bad person and she sees it too but ALSO#he can't bring himself to tell her some of the worst things because he wants her to see him differently#like he wants to act like a good person for her but also knows he needs her#honestly their relationship dynamic reminds me so much of my liberation notes#it's the ahjussi / disenchanted two people approaching each other and something ending up growing there where they thought nothing would#again
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need a private tumblr to be an outlet for feelings had while activisming
#look. i know how to do things effectively i'm telling ya#but it's gonna take a whole bunch of ranting to get there first#and something inherent about activism that's actually effective is taking on care for other people's emotions#who are doubtless in much worse situations than me! but at the same time i have feelings and traumas that get triggered#and i have things i need to process and sort through in order to do my imperfect best. when you're in desperation you want more and i can't#blame you for that. but harm reduction also involves optimisation in a sense of how much harm i can personally reduce#and exposure to some things actually REDUCES that and i need to have somewhere to hold space for my emotions processing it#so i either decide fuck it and just post it here and know people are gonna get hurt from the insensitivity and there's no use explaining#unfortunately i have a suicidal ideation trigger at someone being in need and not being able to help them. maybe i can post about that?#somewhere in the limbo of this is not 'okay' per se but the best i can do is better than nothing. we all come together to stand up#against oppressors and shit. but there's emergency aid needed and it really does make me want to die very very quickly#which obviously i cannot get a job and actually help if I do. as in more than unemployment levels of generosity help#and while i can rattle on and on a bit about how our need for aid has the markings of capitalism (need for constant growth/supply)#it's not the fault of people trapped in that who don't have any other way out#sometimes i need to step back and find ways I CAN simplify my life in community to have more to be able to give when needed#because i can't do that for other people but i can for myself#and then i sound self righteous for doing it so i can be generous? so i can not feel helpless and want to die? there's no winning#i am the person who sees someone complain and thinks i immediately need to fix it for them. there's a good chance i will always be#and then i won't realise it but the empathy is the thing that's keeping me depressed and frozen but keeping me alive as well#and honestly i've lived like that for years. i don't have anything but my sometimes pitiful activism to like. enjoy life or whatever#and i do what i always do. one step in front of the other. pray for provision. choose between therapy and donation why am i so caught#up in that? problem solve. what are the needs and what are the other ways of solving them? share it to facebook? i don't know#i'll get there but i really need a job and i need to get a bit better so i can work. that day is gonna come it's just. the meantime sucks
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even in the middle of this relapse i can see how far ive come since last time? idk im able to recognise the black and white thinking way more, im able to talk myself down from anxiety, i can still remind myself that things might feel inevitable but they're not. like yall. things aren't perfect right now but they're a hell of a lot better than they were months ago. i don't think they'll ever be quite as awful as they were then.
#i was fully lying down crying earlier and wondering if i was going to die#because im having increasing - still very mild but increasing - symptoms of electrolyte problems which can straight up cause heart attacks#and i recognised that i was upset and talked myself out of being upset#also note that the symptoms im observing can be explained by all manner of things but electrolyte problems are very much possible for reaso#anyway ignore the tags this is all an absolute win#puddleglum hours#im honestly not sure as to whether i should've reset my sh tracking app today or not bc i burned myself semi-deliberately#and it was partially an accident and i don't know if it was deliberate or not#anyway i didn't because it left no mark in the end it wasn't an Actual Burn yk#tw sh#personal
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I accidentally finished two different fics for the due south big bang. Which one should I submit? They're both F/K and roughly the same length
#please help me I honestly don't know which one to go with#they're my children and I love them equally#whatever one doesn't win will just go in a vault and be seen later#due south
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one of my favorite parts of strategy games like chess and advance wars is that feeling when you haven't quite won yet but the enemy has no real options so it feels like you're just sloowly wrapping around them like a snake. when all your enemy has is their king and you've managed to turn 3 of your pawns into queens, and all you've gotta do is get in juust the right position, and in the meantime all they can do is squirm. god, that's such a wonderful feeling. nothing quite like it
#incidentally i don't like it when versions of chess insist on enforcing a stalemate rule#honestly to a certain extent i feel like if your enemy has nothing but a king and you've got more than one queen that should just be an#automatic win. like exodia except instead of the individual pieces being useless they're all the most powerful monster card in the game#i think the favorite card i had as a kid was my five headed dragon. thought that shit was so cool. 5000 in both attack and defense???#it seemed unbeatable to my little kid brain. also it was a dragon. of course i loved it#i never learned how to Actually play yugioh of course. just what rules my stupid kid reading comprehension could understand#im pretty sure a monster has to be in play for you to be able to sacrifice it. i didn't know that so i filled my deck with nothing but#really strong monsters and i'd just sacrifice some directly from my hand to summon what i wanted#i stole a lot of yugioh cards as a kid from target. i'm comfortable saying this online because the statute of limitations has absolutely ru#out by now. i looked it up.#i remember for the first time i stole a box set that had exodia. i remember on my way home so i could open it... i genuinely felt like ther#was something mystical in that box. something ancient. there was something really special about that to my kid brain#i'd later steal quite a few more because i got the bright idea to fill a deck with nothing but exodia cards. i figured i'd always have a#first draw win. took me until actually trying to play it that i realized i'd often just get 5 left arms which obviously wouldn't work#so i took that deck and added some actual monsters to “hold me off”. it was pretty much just a normal deck with too much space taken up by#essentially useless cards. i don't think i ever actually won by drawing exodia naturally. what a shame#side note but i still get a bit anxious every time i go to that target. i haven't in years and i can basically guarantee they wouldn't#recognize Grown Ass Adult me as “that kid who stole a lot of yugioh cards”. it's been almost a decade if memory serves#i've grown a lot since then. both physically and metaphorically#i digress
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When you suddenly become aware of a plot hole that probably 90% of anyone who ever looks at your stuff will not notice, think, or care about, but now it's in your brain and you need to dig up an old story to edit it into submission again.
#is this about hor#perhaps#“what's the plot hole gail”#something something working out ainzel's timeline vs morekai's knowledge of their thereabouts vs silamir's and navaeli's lack of knowledge#maybe it's not even a plot hole BUT#IF ainzel and morekai were in communication at a certain point in time then theoretically silamir would know where ainzel was because#morekai is in communication with her. and if silamir knows where ainzel is then why did she mention it taking so long for navaeli to track#down where ainzel is? should not silamir have told her?#several possible answers. one; ainzel is a petty bassard who hates morekai's guts & refuses to communicate with him more n necessary#which is honestly very likely.#actually you know what. that's the answer. ainzel was like “you do war prep in ullua My Hated Ally and i will do war prep far away from you#“far far far away in Kavia.”#and morekai goes “but where in Kavia Ainzel what if i need to know-”#“i have decided that you don't need to know. fuck you. goodbye.” - ainzel knowing with gritted teeth that this is not the last they see him#besides ainzel knows that Navaeli's gonna show up anyway (prophecy) so why would they go out of their way to tell Silamir 'cause obviously#it gets figured out anyway#other option is that Silamir DID know where Ainzel was and just. made navaeli figure it out on her own.#it's halfway in character but tbh i think Silamir's impatience outweighs her spite. so nah. she'd tell. Ainzel's spite wins out this time.
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i always thought there were two ways to rediscover old stories that you don't remember writing and they are 1) oh no i can't look oh no oh no that's embarrassing, and 2) hey? this is pretty cool actually? this sort of really rocks?, but today i've discovered the secret third option. and it's 3) i guess in 2018 i wrote 1500 words of original fiction about thor (the norse god) and the easter bunny (the easter bunny) on a blind first date in a starbucks and it's a little haunting that this reads pretty much the same as most genuine fluffy scenes i've ever written, but littered with egg puns
#i wrote this for a contest on a tiny website and i checked. i did win that contest. i did win#but the prompt was mythology and i. i'm not sure. this is what anyone had in mind#but clearly i did so. it exists. it's implied that the easter bunny has a dating history with santa#but they didn't work out because this version of the easter bunny can summon chocolate eggs at will and santa wants a beach body#and thor had a previous date with arachne which failed because. she fell into her coffee?? and almost drowned??#and i know describing it like that makes it sound like absurd comedy but it's not. not really. which is honestly vaguely uncanny#also i don't REMEMBER any of this coming from my brain but oh my god. is it clearly something that came from my brain#if nothing else the egg puns cinch it fjdkfjdk.#this is part of a 64k treasure trove of things i wrote in 2011-2018 for tiny writing contests of which i remember almost nothing so. uh oh#*
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#kori i understand your thought process#it's the same as emptying the net#but if you don't fix it#and by that i mean play the whole team and win the next 3#you're going to lose coach of the year to CK#and i do hope you are seeing all the twitter comments and by that i mean the handful of reporters who are talking about this choice#at the end of the day the first goal last night was an unlucky bounce#[note i still take issue with certain people dumping the puck for no reason]#but it's happened to ambrose and murphy before too i think#the thought process is that if we can only score one goal per game#we better not allow more than one#but honestly i think it's difficult to break a tie in regulation if you aren't being strategic#and i think montreal has a real problem of not taking strategic shots#especially when they are down or not scoring they shoot from distance#which is not the right move#it's something you do when you are desperate#what you need to do is put shots on net collect rebounds and force the goalie to be in 2 places at once#see the poulin daoust goal from the 3-1 boston game#also practice even strength goals PLEASE#i will say one last tangentially related thing: i think the jaques tapanni trade is what helped boston and hurt min#and by that i don't mean that jaques isn't doing well but it's clear that min needed the offensive depth and face-off#expertise that tapanni brought#and i know heise's injury kind of coincided with that as well#but to me it's clear that shifted the momentum#quite frankly it's not a surprise that this is coming up#because the same thing happened with the shootouts#do you know why we lost every single shootout#it's bc kori kept it so top heavy#and i have to wonder if the [starters] are just taking this on the chin or#like as leadership you have a responsibility to the members of your team not just the standing of your team you know
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what's the theme you're fucking going for here voliiii!!! what are you fucking getting at!!! what are you trying to say, what's the point??
#still working on this drama chapter in Swept Up. they're. confusing to work with? from an empathy standpoint at least.#skill who is trying to honestly understand the other skills VS skill who is just always lying and putting on an act.#and then theres the whole thing that im not going to spoil yet but the dynamic. fuck man. i dont even know what im trying to say here#lying is bad? no i dont care about that. honest communication is important maybe? i feel like i need a central theme for this.#and i dont want the theme to be ''empathy good'' because low-empathy people are also good and i love them!! and also:#empathy is a flawed character!! i try to portray this. i dont like moralism/centrism which empathy believes in and is the main skill for#empathy you stupid centralist (affectionate) i know this is just because you don't know how to make everyone happy. who can fix this?#you dont think you can fix this! you feel too much debilitating sadness to make meaningful change!! responsibilite to others more capable#still. i do depict empathy as often kind on a small level because i think that's in character. empathy just helps you understand.#i guess this fic is also a ''empathy doesn't mean kindness. kindness is a choice you can make afterwards but empathy just means empathy''#but that's not a centralizing theme that all the chapters share. its also about vulnerability and the mortifying ordeal of being known#urgh. i'll think about it some more. knowing me its probably another ''love (in all forms) is the meaning to life'' type story lmao <3#i need to make a skill chart for this harry. all i know is that Volition is his skill signature but Empathy is his highest stat#hyper-empathetic harry with the rsd that comes from adhd!! haha!! suffering. everybody fucking hate you. this is based on me btw lmao#i was working on voli's chapter which has a flashback and child empathy! new to the mindspace looking out through harry's eyes and crying#the world is full of sad people and it's just too much for a lil guy! the backstory i have planned for this like. huh okay. wild. anyway!!#oh shit ive made a fucking breakthrough with the drama chapter. its not a theme but its something i figured out at least. we stay winning!!#chemi chats#task: swept up
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at least now i've gone through an important tumblr rite of passage, watching a longtime mutual become a radfem :/
#the thing that really got me was that they were talking about their morality ocd triggering them about it#bc of the way tumblr and the internet in general has this black and white approach to things#and one of those i guess was 'transphobes = bad' which like. is not what i'm ever talking about when i say that things have more nuance#that said i DO think that the way this website prioritizing hating terfs over supporting trans people is kinda gross#but anyway this person was so anxious about it and it just was depressing bc i related to that#they were SO afraid of losing friends or being cancelled over it and i was just like damn i wonder if all terfs are that miserable#but they acted like they just had no choice but to believe this 'thing' that they constantly alluded to but never talked outright about#which i am pretty sure now is just that they're a radfem or at least believe in a lot of radfem ideologies#and honestly? i go back and forth between genuinely feeling so bad for them and being like well that's what you fucking get#i wish i'd had the courage to talk to them about it but whenever i thought about it i got immeasurable anxiety#sorry for the very long tag ramble i just haven't been able to talk about this and it's been eating ME up too for a long time#i just feel horrible. i know in the past they've mentioned too how they want people to tell them why if they unfollow/block them#but i can't. i cannot. and then i'm afraid of just feeding into their victim complex by doing this#i just can't win. and it's like. i'm trans i am literally affected by their bigotry that they're acting like is just not even a choice#ALSO I REMEMBER HOW THEY MADE A POST ONCE ABOUT HOW PEOPLE IRL DON'T TALK ABOUT TRANS STUFF#LIEK IDK WHAT PLANET YOU ARE LIVING ON MY DUDE BUT I HAVE LIKE 5 TRANS COWORKERS AND EVERYONE IS VERY NORMAL ABOUT THEM#like maybe YOU live in a bad area#but you're just a really loud minority#anyway. yeah. just. oof.#still feeling some kind of anxiety about it#win rambles
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Okay so, if y'all know me you know I adore tmnt. It was my obsession before I ever watched even the original YGO much less GX. And now I'm watching tmnt 2012 for the first time, I'm about halfway through season 2 and honestly you guys are so lucky I'm not live blogging it because well.... I don't like it 💀
I will say I'm enjoying season 2 more than season 1 so far but still 💀
#I'm trying so hard I really am#as a don stan I hate all the april stuff#as a lover of april I hate what they've done and will do with this one#I hate the whole karai is really splinter's daughter thing#the kraang make me want to die every time they speak they're so annoying#I dunno a lot of the humor is just not landing with me either for some reason#i never liked the 3d cg animation style i always thought it was super ugly which is part of why i never watched it until now tbh#I kinda resent just how childish mikey is which is silly of me I'll admit that but still#leo has always been my least favorite that hasn't changed#don always was my favorite so I really hate that so much of his character revolves around april it really adds nothing and holds him back#raph is fine it's hard to mess him up tbh i don't have any issues with him so that's a win 👍#plus I adore sean astin so bonus points#I do actually like splinter and casey though#historically I love casey the most of the human characters though so if they end up messing him up later I'll never forgive them#karai is fine I just hate the her being splinter's daughter thing. I also don't like her design at all. at all. they did her dirty af.#I don't like to compare the other shows to 2003 since nothing ~really~ compares imo but karai's 2003 design > every other karai design#I know there's some 2003 storylines and characters they do in 2012 so I know the comparison is inevitable but I think I've done well#so far in keeping them separate. i haven't had that issue with 87 or rise so I trust myself#but honestly my intense love and admitted bias for 2003 has never interfered with my enjoyment or opinions of other turtle media#-so that's not an issue here#I just genuinely don't care for 2012 so far. I didn't particularly care for rise either but tbh atm I like it more than 2012#the rise movie was great though I loved that legitimately. the show itself though? not really for me.#I'm gonna watch 2012 to completion and I really hope I change my mind but it's looking bleak so far#plus I already know a lot of the big story beats so there goes that lol#oh yeah I lied#I also like ice cream kitty 🤭#tmnt#abby's just rambling don't mind her#abby chooses violence#wake up babe new tag dropped
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