#I haven't written in so long

[thefloorisbalaclava]

Simon doesn't open up to many people. He finds it better to remain emotionless around other people. He did not want pity. He didn't want to hear "Everything is going to be okay".

He wasn't sure if it was his way of responding to any sort of trauma. He doubts anything would ever be as bad as what he had gone through long ago. The thing he had never shared with anyone.

Until you.

You sat across from him, tears staining your cheeks, as he finished telling you everything. It was like a weight off his shoulders, but he was also worried. He didn't want pity. He didn't want you to treat him any differently now that you knew his deepest, darkest secret.

He hated to see you cry, but he also felt a sense of relief from those tears as if you were shedding the tears that he should have long ago.

When you stood, his stomach dropped. He was sure you would walk out, disgusted by what he told you. Hell, he knew he felt disgusted with himself. It's the very reason he hides his face, the reason why he doesn't look in the mirror unless he really has to.

He felt his shoulders sag as you stood there. But he tensed up again when you approached him.

"Stand up," you told him, and he did.

Then... you wrapped your arms around him. He stood there stiffly, unsure of what to do.

Then you said it. You said the words that would just about bring down every brick in the wall he had built around himself.

"It's okay to not be okay," you murmured as your head rested against his chest.

His arms seemed to move of their own accord as they slowly, hesitantly, wrapped around you, hugging you back. You let out a small sob and he let out a silent sigh of relief. He gripped the back of your shirt tightly, holding himself back from crushing himself against you.

He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so good, so relieved. He wanted to stay like this forever.

"Thank you," he mumbled without even noticing.

[im-a-marvel-ous-hoe]

Baby, Please Come Home | Bucky Barnes (1st Day of 🎄)

(Credits to the owner of this gif!)

Hello hello hello! Alondra here! I haven’t written anything in a long time, so I apologize if this is shit lol I’m doin a 12 days of Christmas sort of thing and I’m praying that this doesn’t flop 😅

Christmas Masterlist <- check out my other holiday fics! ✨

~~~~

“Merry Christmas, doll.” I heard Bucky’s voice through the phone, his tone in a slightly higher pitch than usual. I smiled to myself as I sat down on the couch, startling Alpine for a moment as she was just starting to fall asleep. She yawned and stretched out her little white paws in front of me, her claws peaking out as she started to climb onto my lap. The princess has spoken. Looks like I’m gonna be stuck here for a little while.

“Merry Christmas, Bucky.” I spoke. The realization that we’re not spending Christmas together this year comes fluttering to the front of my mind no matter how much I've tried to ignore it these past few weeks. The only sense of warmth I have of him in our house is some old shirts he left behind and our baby Alpine. She’s quiet and craves cuddles, just like her dad. “It uh… it doesn’t sound as good on the phone as I was hoping than in person, does it?” He chuckled out, trying to find a way to lighten the mood. I shook my head, forgetting for a moment that he couldn't see me. “No, it does not.” I replied, clutching my phone close to my ear trying to imagine that he’s here right in front of me and his voice isn’t so staticy.

“You want to say hi to Alpine? She’s right here.” I looked down at the small animal on my lap as my hand began softly scratching her head. “Of course I do! Put her on.” I placed my phone on the arm rest and pressed the speaker button on my screen. “You’re on speaker, baby.” I heard him shuffling on the other end of the line before speaking up. “Alpine? You there?” The cat’s ears turned up and looked towards my phone. “You takin’ good care of your momma?”

She stood up and leaned closer to my phone, inspecting it. It’s like I could see the cogwheels in her head turn as she wondered how she could hear her dad’s voice if he wasn’t here. “She’s been keeping me company.” I smiled and heard him laugh on the other end. “Really?” He said. I could almost picture him smiling. “Yeah! We’re best buddies now. We have so many intellectual conversations.”

“I can’t wait to see it in person. I gotta get Sam to help me figure out how to take a video so I can just do it without messing up when I get home.” I chuckled at the thought of poor Sam having to deal with Bucky’s lack of phone knowledge and the constant bickering they’re bound to have. I swear, sometimes he really does act like a 100-somethin’ year old man. “Sergeant Barnes, you are something else.”

“Hey, you know I still have trouble understanding! I didn’t grow up with this kind of thing.”

“Then how is it that my grandmother is able to figure out Facebook better than you?” I laughed as he grumbled. “Your grandma had more time to figure it out! It’s not my fault she’s hip.”

I could just imagine what his face looks like right now. His eyebrows are probably scrunched up, his gaze is on the floor and his lips are pouty and just waiting to be kissed. I let out a chuckle and looked around our house. The decorations were put up soon after Thanksgiving. We played Christmas music in the background as we both decorated our tree, Alpine seeming to think this is another place for her to climb and make hers. Once Bucky put the star on top, everything just felt perfect, even though I knew I wouldn’t see him on the day of. “I’m really sorry that I wasn’t able to be there this year.” He said. “I tried my best to – ”

“Bucky, don’t worry about it. It’s okay, I completely understand. Our line of work doesn’t exactly allow us to have vacations, sort to speak. I’m not holding it against you.”

“I know, doll, but still. I thought I would at least be home for Christmas.”

“I know, baby, I know but there’s nothing else we can do about it. We’re in two different places and flights are backed up, so I guess we’ll just have to make due with what we’ve got.” I could feel tiny vibrations on my leg as Alpine purred against me, my hand not stopping to show her love. She seems content. He sighed and spoke up once again. “I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

I smiled. “I know you will.”

He cleared his throat as if he was trying to mask the sound of something. “Bucky… was that.. were you in a – ”

“Baby, did you get the thing that I sent you yet?” He cut me off as I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. “Um.. no, no I haven’t. I haven’t gotten anything.” He let out a groan. “No? Are you sure? FedEx promised me it would arrive in time for Christmas.” Alpine leaned in closer to my hand as I scratched the top of her head. “Doll, can you please do me a favor and keep an eye out for it? It could be arriving any minute.” I smiled to myself as I nodded. “Okay, I will.”

“I wanna hear as you see what I got you for Christmas.” I rolled my eyes and chuckled. “Bucky, you know I will love whatever you got me, but what I really want is you and I don’t think FedEx can send people over like that.” He let out a laugh. “Maybe they’d let me if Steve was to put in a good word.”

“You’re such an idiot.” I laughed and Alpine stirred in my lap, a quiet reminder for me to not move or else she’s gone and she’s the only thing in this house keeping me company. I could hear him huffing on the other line as I tried to figure out what he’s doing. “Bucky?”

“Yeah?”

“Where are you?”

“What do you mean where am I? You know where I’m at.”

“No, I mean are you outside? I could hear you huffin’ and puffin’. Are you trying to keep warm?”

“Maybe there’s another reason why you can hear me breathin’ so hard. I’m talkin’ to a pretty girl on the phone and she misses me just as much as I miss her.”

I stayed silent for a moment as I processed his words and gasped. You cheeky little fucker. “James!” My outburst along with Bucky’s laugh startled Alpine once more as she got up and left. “No! Kitty come back!” I could hear him practically wheezing in the background as she left to God knows where in our house. “What happened?”

“You made me scare Alpine out of my lap!” I whined as he continued to laugh at my expense. “Hey, you were the one who got the joke late and yelled, scaring our poor baby Alpine! That’s not my fault!”

“It is too! If you hadn’t made that joke, I wouldn’t have reacted that way!” I’m sure my face must be red from embarrassment as he continued on. “And to answer your question, with no hidden dirty jokes, I went out for a walk. I couldn’t stay in that hotel with Sam trying to find ways to decorate my arm with holiday decorations. Note to self, don’t let Sam buy tinsel and say it’s for the “tree at the Stark Tower”.”

I smiled at the thought of Steve being in the middle of these two teasing each other like children and not knowing which side he should take. Hearing his voice, even if it’s not crystal clear, makes me forget for a moment that he’s not here. There’s almost this sort of echo in the house that really makes you feel like you’re alone. It still breaks my heart, but I wouldn’t tell him to make him feel even worse about it. He’s trying his best and that’s all I could really hope for.

But I do wish he was here. Wherever Bucky goes, that’s home.

“Hey, I’m gonna take a wild guess here and say that you didn’t take the trash cans in like I asked you to.”

I was silent for a moment as I thought about what he said. “You didn’t, did you?” I shook my head and spoke. “Um no, I’m pretty sure I did.” I tried to lie and pretend like I didn’t forget, which in fact I know I did.

“Oh, really? Hmm… are you sure? ‘Cause something is telling me that you forgot.” I smiled and leaned back more into the couch and got comfortable. “I know I tend to be forgetful, but I’m pretty sure I already took them in.” I heard him chuckle. “Alright, alright I’ll believe you. I know you wouldn’t lie to me, baby..”

“Trying to put the guilt trip on me even when you’re not here, baby?” I laughed and grabbed the remote to turn on the TV. “I’m just stating the facts.. oh, hey, one second! I’m getting another call. I’ll be right back.” I waited for him as he placed me on hold and began to browse through Netflix to look for some good Christmas films to watch.

Before I could go to my suggestion list, I heard the doorbell ring.

“Weird, wrong number…” I heard his voice once again as he took me off hold. “Hey, I just heard the doorbell ring.” I spoke as I went to stand up. “It’s probably FedEx. Go check it out and take me with you!” I stood up, grabbed my phone and went to go and find a sweater to quickly put on. “Just uh do me a favor.” He requested. “Sure, baby. What is it?”

“I know you’re lonely at home, but try not to check out the delivery man too much, okay? Even if he is very handsome.” I laughed and shook my head. “Ohh, I don’t know Barnes. I gotta see what kind of a package I’m lookin’ at here.” I joked as he laughed. I walked over to the front door and opened it. My body stood still as my phone fell out of my hands.

“Delivery, for Mrs. – ” Before he could even finish the sentence, I jumped up and wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him towards me. I could feel and hear him laughing against me as his arms embraced me tighter into him. I could feel the cold air from outside come into the house, but I didn’t care. He was warm and he was standing at our doorstep.

He pulled me back so he could look at me and I could see a sheen of tears in his baby blues as he leaned down for a kiss. Both hands cupped my cheeks as he held me in place, his cold lips meeting my own. He’s grown out his stubble and it lightly tickled my top lip. I reached my hands up to tug at his hair and felt him smile against me as soft moans of content left his mouth. He pulled away too soon for my liking and looked down at me and laughed.

“Did ya miss me, doll?” I pulled him in for another kiss as he mumbled against my lips. “I can hardly tell.” His metal hand moved a strand of hair away from my face as he continued to smile at me. “But… how are you here? You’re supposed to be in – ”

“I know I know but we managed to finish the mission early and catch a flight. Turns out, Steve doesn’t mind using the Captain America card to get on a plane while running late.” He chuckled. He rubbed small circles on my cheek as I leaned into him. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too.” He leaned in to grant me one more kiss before pulling away to make a comment. “I know it seems hard to believe, but I made you a promise that I will try to be home for Christmas and I keep my promises… unlike someone I know who didn’t bring in the trash cans.”

Fuck…

“Oops? You’re not upset, right?” I asked as he shook his head. “No, baby I’m not upset. I could care less about them. I’ve just gone and gave myself the best present a guy could ask for… the love of his life, crying and cheeks reddened in his arms, clinging to him with all the might they can muster..” He laughed as he held me against him.

“I’m here and I’m not going anywhere… now let’s get inside, get a warm drink and see if we can warm ourselves up with each other.” He winked as I playfully slapped his arm. “Let’s go surprise Alpine.”

“Ahh! That’s right!” He walked in and yelled out. “Alpine? Daddy’s home! Where are you sweetheart?” I closed the door behind us and smiled at the thought of him finally being home. He took off his jacket just as she came out from wherever she was hiding. He crouched down as she walked up to welcome him home. “Hey, you. Ya missed me?” He chuckled as he looked up at me.

“Doll?”

“Yeah?” He smiled up at me, his cheeks rosy as he uttered, “Merry Christmas.”

~~~~

I hope y’all liked it! Please let me know your thoughts! Likes, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!

[sa3ha]

genre fluff drabble context Who else would you call other than your best friend after a nightmare so late at night? warnings nothing just fluff, no punctuation, not proofread word count: 247

—–—–—–—–—–—–—

"hello..? y/n? are you okay?" your best friend Dohoon asked sleepily from the other side of the phone.

"dohoon... please come over... im scared" you replied. you didn't even need to ask twice, he was already putting on his shoes and running to your house.

soon enough, only a few minutes later, he knocked on your front door. you walked to it, still scared of anything that could be lurking in your house, reminences of the nightmare you had minutes prior.

you opened the door to meet his worried face, already ingulfing you into a warm hug. his arms felt safe and you didn't want to ever leave them.

you wrapped your own arms around his taller body, pulling him in even more. you both stayed this way for a long minute, until you pulled away and grabbed his hand to get him inside with you.

without a word, you guys made your way to your bed, inviting the boy inside the sheets with you.

once the both of you were inside, he was the first one to break the silence with his soft tone. "how do you feel?"

"better now that you're here" you answered him. he gave you a pretty smile and pulled you closer to him, drapping his arm over your body.

"good" he said, making your heart beat faster as your body heat fusioned. you cuddled close to him, and you couldn't feel any more at home.

[mountaintop-daydreaming]

and what if i just started writing a jegulus/wolfstar modern day au fic? with trans regulus and genderfluid sirius? and black siblings angst? but a happy ending?

what then?

[kuni-loves-me]

This is just a little clip of the first chapter from a Velvet x female reader/OC (idk yet) that I'm making.

Tell me about what you think!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loud Cheers.

That's all that could be heard. The sound of screaming, clapping, stomping. It rang in your ears. The shouts of fans screaming their idols name in hopes of being noticed.

It hurt my head...

But in reality, I was just like them. I was screaming and jumping in excitement. I was pushing people out of the way to get better views. I was waving my hands and shouting their name... I wanted to be noticed.

A crazed obsessed fan.

But it was useless. It always was. To them, I was nothing more than another background character. Another person handing them money only so they could continue to ignore my presence and miss me every time.

God, it wasn't fair. I'd do anything to have their attention... To have her's. To have her beautiful blue eyes locked on mine. To hear her beautiful voice directed to me, and me alone. To be the reason she smiled...

Was that too much?

Probably. But what did I know? I was only 17. A silly, love-sick 17 year old willing to do anything to get the attention of the woman she loved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's just a small clip. I wanna continue but I wanna know what everyone thinks first.

Is it bad, good? A good intro? Any mistakes? Yada yada. Js any kinda feedback would be nice.

Thank youuuu. 🫶🫶

[tomatobasill]

I kind of want to write a wolfstar + jegulus fic where wolftar travels from London to the coast to see Jegulus for a couple of weeks on holiday...

I'm only saying this because I'm at the coast rn and I wanna see my boys eating ice cream, getting fish and chips too many times for it to be considered healthy and get way too into the arcade games

[yeetmeoutofthisplanet]

"Ieiu."

Kara's heart broke at the anguish in her daughter's voice, yet she couldn't find the courage to look in Lori's direction. She couldn't bear to see those familiar eyes filled so much light and life when she had just watched it fade away mere hours ago. She just couldn't bear to, not now. Not when it was too soon. Not when she was still overwhelmed with the grief of losing the love of her life.

"Little one, I—there's a lot to—I have to go."

Kara took a step towards the door, ready to leave because she just couldn't do this right now. She hoped that Lori understood, that she needed to be alone to process the fact that Lena was... that her zhao was gone forever. The thought alone was enough to send Kara into another spiral of pain, anger, and dread when a small voice halted her.

"Please, I need you."

The older Kryptonian paused. Her little one had just uttered the same words she had said to Lena, holding her tight as she took her last breath, with a barely whispered I love you.

"Ieiu, please"

Kara sped away after that.

Inspired by this post

[glassonthewall]

when i call myself a writer i use that term VERY loosely

[baronessblixen]

Scully looks at her son in her arms. William appears a bit anxious, catching glances around him. They had decided to spend the afternoon at a farm in the country, knowing how much William loves animals. But he seems reluctant to leave her arms, as he is impressed by all the sheep surrounding them, and how much noise they make.

« Look at the baby, William! » Mulder says encouragingly when the farmer brings out a newborn lamb.

Scully reassures her son, telling her that the baby lamb is just like him. If there’s sudden movement, it will scare him away too. « Look how soft he is, honey ! » she coos. The farmer, holding the lamb in one arm, brings out a bottle of milk « do you want to give the bottle, buddy? »

Can you finish this small fic I started ? 🙏

William remains uncertain, his big eyes darting between the lamb and his parents.

"You don't have to," Scully whispers into his soft downy hair so only he hears it. He's becoming restless, his curiosity growing. All week long, he'd been talking about sheep and lambs and how he wanted to see them.

"Let me try," Mulder says, winking at William. With her son still in her arms, Scully watches as the lamb nestles in Mulder's nap and hungrily sucks at the bottle, droplets of milk flying around. William giggles seeing this and Scully feels him slip from her arms. She refrains from reminding him to approach the lamb slowly and just lets it happen.

The boy is careful, checking with his father and when Mulder nods, William sits next to him. The farmer and Mulder transfer the lamb over to William's arms.

"Ready?" Mulder asks before he hands William the bottle.

"I'm feeding the lamb!" He exclaims and as soon as he realizes how loud his voice is, he quiets himself. "Sorry baby lamb," he says, pressing a noisy kiss to the lamb's head. The animal is unperturbed and keeps suckling.

"Yes, you are," Scully says and her and Mulder's eyes meet. His smile is as bright as his son's; they're a matching set. Her own face must look similar. Tears of joy shoot into her eyes, but she blinks them away. She knows that as soon as they leave here, William will badger them about getting a lamb as a pet. And knowing Mulder, he will come up with reasons why it's not the worst idea. Seeing her son this happy, to see him sit still for five minutes, is worth it.

[a-round-of-robyns]

first microfic! i've had really bad writer's block recently so hopefully this will help me get back into the swing of things

01/03: rugby; wc: 453; @jegulus-microfic; mentions of alcohol/people being drunk

Regulus could hear the noise of the party leaking out of the door as he approached the room where it was being held. He originally wasn’t going to go, seeing as he tended to despise loud settings where the majority of people there were drunk or on their way to being so. However, when he had gone over to James to congratulate him on winning the rugby final, James had turned his big deer eyes on him, asking Regulus to go to the party.

“For me, love. Please?”

And how could Regulus resist? So here he was, standing at the entrance to the room, scanning it for a glimpse of his boyfriend. After his second look around, he spotted Sirius dancing in the middle of the floor and, sure enough, James was right next to him. A crowd of people surrounded James and Sirius, all watching them appreciatively as they moved their bodies to the music.

Regulus caught Remus’ gaze from where he was leaning against a wall on the opposite side of the room to him. He made his way over to Remus, dodging drunk students and picking up a drink for himself on the way. Regulus joined Remus, leaning against the wall next to him. He nodded at Regulus and went back to watching Sirius dance, eyes roaming up and down his body. Regulus followed his line of sight to his own boyfriend dancing like nobody was watching. James’ eyes were closed, but after a while they opened, and he looked directly into Regulus’ eyes. Regulus allowed his gaze to drag up and down James’ body and then made eye contact, angling his head so that he was looking at James through his eyelashes. Regulus held a hand out and made a ‘come here’ gesture that James immediately complied with.

“Reg, you made it!” He said as soon as he reached Regulus, grasping the hand that was still held away from Regulus’ body.

“I told you I would come, didn’t I?”

James placed a kiss on the hand he was holding and looked at Regulus adoringly, “You did.”

Regulus pulled James closer to him, wrapping his arms around his neck. “You wanna get out of here?”

“But I’m having fun.” James protested lightly, pressing his forehead against Regulus’

Regulus looked at him, allowing his lips to pout slightly in a way he knew James wasn’t able to resist. “I can think of something even more fun that we can do together? And there won’t be people looking at you, thinking they can have you.”

James’ pupils dilated even more than they had been already, the black almost completely swallowing the hazel of his irises. “Whatever you want, love. Lead the way.”

[thefloorisbalaclava]

I keep thinking about König never really getting a chance to celebrate his birthday. No cake, no balloons...none of it. So one day you decide to surprise him. You know he's not good with crowds so it's just you two.

You surprise him at the door and you swear you see his eyes widen a little. You slip a party hat onto his head and he looks at you, confused.

"What's this?" he asks.

"A party hat," you say.

He chuckles. "I mean all of it..." He gestures towards the small table where a cake with a candle sits.

"A birthday party!" you say excitedly. You grab his hand and drag him over to the table then light the candle. You make him sit as you sing Happy Birthday to him. When you're done, he sits there for a moment then looks up at you.

"Make a wish and blow out the candle, my love," you tell him. You walk over to the other chair and sit down. He stares at the candle and then closes his eyes. You rest your chin on your hand as you watch him. When he finally blows the candle out, you applaud.

"Do not ask what my wish is," he says before you can even speak.

"I wasn't going to," you lie.

"Will you help me cut the first piece, please?" he asks and you gladly walk over to him, placing your hand over his. In the blink of an eye, he pulls you onto his lap and you yelp.

"We're holding a knife," you scold.

"I would never let you get hurt," he tells you and you know it's true.

"Thank you," he says quietly, wrapping his free arm around you tighter. "Thank you."

"Happy birthday, König."

[Masterlist]

[stardustsirenmelody]

Any WIPS? or blurbs?

I have nothing at the moment, I'm so sorry 😖 The braincell fires off like every month or 2. That's when u get things like this Dad!Folio headcannon or this NSFW Folio imagine. If u have something in mind then u can send it in and I can see what I can do 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

If you want some blogs that post more regularly I would recommend

♡ @kaliforniahigh

♡ @flowery-mess

♡ @dsireland86 (they did an amazing job adapting my Dad!Folio headcannon into a longer version which u can find here)

♡ @artificialstardust

♡ @artificialbreezy

♡ @thefallennightmare

All of them are extremely talented writers and I highly recommend u go check them out 🌸💕✨️

[thewisebyers]

the sun was already set as the two of you lay in your backyard, the only source of light coming from the moon as you giggled closely together in the grass. another sleepover, another night of stepping around your feelings. ignoring how the moon lights up her face, how you can still see her blue eyes shine in the dark.

'i swear that's the big dipper,' robin giggles, pulling your hand into hers and using hers to guide yours towards the sky. 'see!' she traces the constellation with your hands together to prove her point. your hand begins to sweat in hers, butterflies fluttering in your stomach at the touch. a lot of best friends hold hands but this was robin and you've been in love with robin since middle school. she doesn't let go, lets your hands fall effortlessly between the two of you.

it's quiet besides your hearts racing as the two of you lay watching the stars. you've held hands before, brushed hands more times than you could count but you just thought the two of you were just close. closer than your other friends. 'is this okay?' she finally asks.

'yeah,' you whisper, finally turning to face your best friend. you giggle which turns into the two of you laughing and then trying to shush each other because it was far too late and the neighbors would complain. it didn't matter though, you were holding robin's hand and you wanted to remember this moment forever.

[sillysarahsthings]

Omg my writing motivation came back.

[alliesway]

i posted it.... 🫢

[dogearedheart]

Fingers-in-my-word-doc Friday

tagged by @angelsdean thank you!

rules: In honor of Friday, gimme a line from your latest WIP or project that involves hands. (Search-find hand, hands, fingers, fingerpad, nails, wrist, palm, thumb, heel, lifelines etc)

So, I have two wips right now. The first one is a JoxCassie one:

"So, what's your story? Nobody chooses this life willingly."

Cassie is right. Most people - sane people - would know better than to choose a life that is plastered with death horror and gore. It swallows you whole.

"It's a long story," Jo deflects.

"We have all night."

Jo sighs, nervously tapping her fingers on the wooden surface of the counter. She knows better than to trust some random woman she just met, but something about Cassie is different.

The other one is my fic called "We met at the end of Eden" which is a stanford dean and cas fic :) (this particular scene is a flashback):

"I like it," Dean says, his hand moving up to his hair on its own accord, as if his body is trying to prove a point before he even realizes.

"I don't think that will matter when you have to fight and you can't see properly," John says with a stern voice, and Dean watches his father in the mirror as he takes an old pair of rusty scissors out of his duffle. "The hair has to go."

"Yes, Sir."

His father isn't very deliberate when he grabs a chunk of Dean's hair, cutting it without any preamble. Dean watches in silence as the strands start falling to the dirty motel floor, but he knows better than to start an argument about this, especially with Sammy in the room.

It's just hair, he tells himself.  

It's only later that night, when his father's already gone, that Dean dares to sneak into the small bathroom of their motel room to cry.

I have to admit that I have no idea who's done this already, so if you read this and want to participate, please do!