#I haven't told you how cool you are
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GET BLASTED!!!
WAAAAA OH MY GAH HIIIIIII!!! it's so nice to see your art!! :>
#you are very good at drawing friend!!! <333#I haven't told you how cool you are#you are a very cool mutual and friend :>#probably one of my “biggest fans” lol#(as in you've liked n rebbloged a lotta stuff from lil ol me)#((which I really appreciated <33))#asks#not my art
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if i ever create a sockpuppet account i wouldn't even use it to shower myself with fake praise or Start Shit, i would use it to send myself prompts and then i'd write it and be like "look at me, benevolent author of the people, nobly writing the most self-indulgent thing i can think of. but don't worry! it's not personally revealing or anything, because it's definitely that other guy's fault, whose convenient 'birthday' i definitely didn't select specifically for this occasion." like those anonymous kink memes where people just happened to request the particular filthy shit you happened to be thinking about. prompt laundering.
#YES we should all kill the fear of cringe holding us back NO i haven't succeeded#if you never answered your own prompts on kinkmeme well i'm sorry for how cool you are#remember that time when i went on a podcast while psychiatrically sedated and gushed about my teenage self-insert#and told everyone to resurrect theirs because we are taking back cringe!!!!! and then i DIDN'T.#on fanfic
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Honestly the roleplay blogs are stronger than I am because if I saw a post where people were saying my blog was annoying and calling me corny I would jump in a large pit and rot away
#I don't think I should tag this one#Okay I've typed my emotions out. For a more normal way to put it: While it makes sense to be upset#best move. I'm sure the blogs in question would be happier if you just told them about the roleplay guidelines than if you made a post#where multiple people call them annoying. Like can you imagine if someone said that about a writing blog#'So sick of x reader fics in the tag I don't want to see that and they're all so out of character' What a dick move.#It is a different case with rp blogs I'll give you that. But I think the principle of the matter stands#unless it doesn't and everything I said is stupid#original ramble below I was so mad for some reason. im not mad at anyone really. everyone is cool. love you guys#I get why people are unhappy that theyre clogging up the tags#like despiar dev said not to and people want to see content of despiar thyme not just ask blogs#I saw someone say they just blocked them and like. I get why. however. people do not know everything#but my brother in Christ you're not helping the matter!!!!!!!!1 send them a screenshot of what despiar dev said!!!!help other people!!!!!!!#just politely tell them instead of weirdly vague posting it helps everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! maybe they just don't know#misspelling the tags so no one finds this post. I will actually be so pissed if people find this and r upset#Oh I'm sorry THIS is the post you're noticing? You have followed me for over six months and you haven't said anything about any other negat#negative feelings i've expressed. I see how it is#I wish the drdt confessions account was still open but whatever fucking whatever#sui mention#personal vent#whatever I guess
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If there is at least one thing I can credit FE for doing better than Tales in localization, it's not trying to actively go out of their way for an entire game to avoid subtext or direct text between two men that is romantic or implied romantic. Funny when it's so present that the attempt doesn't even work; infuriating that it was attempted to begin with.
So as much as I often have issues with some of FE's localizations, at least they have a leg up on loc Tales for that.
#DCB Comments#imagine changing entire sentences and vocal tones just to try to avoid it#if anything I'd say at least in FE the locs just... keep what's there like#they could've toned Soren and Houses Yuri down and they didn't. they just kept their lines or in some cases#especially with Houses Yuri I'd say leaned into them#have to specify bc Houses Yuri got to keep his bi agenda. Vesperia Yuri had the unfortunate issue of#the loc not wanting to keep his gay and trying reeeeally hard to avoid it#including altering entire sentences to avoid any woe is them misunderstandings about men having feelings for each other#meanwhile Houses Yuri is free to call men cute and lo and behold everyone loved that for him#they removed and altered a LOT of Vesperia Yuri's personality traits#(including any ability to express real sadness or fear bc woe is them if he's not a cool edgy man)#but they also really changed his tone toward Flynn PLUS some of what they say to each other#and twisted it to make it sound like Yuri was either angry or wasn't actually emotional abt him#forget the way they brought Grant George in for the DE release and made him sound just completely DEAD with zero personality#like. I can tolerate playing Houses dubbed despite my gripes with it (story based stuff)#it didn't feel like they were trying to alter LBGT+ aspects and they even for some rly leaned into it#basically if you haven't played Vesperia Yuri is... really gay coded. the loc pretended not to notice#in fact he's queer + gay coded bc and doesn't fit male gender norms and the gacha games LOVE that with his hair/outfits#Rays mind you is JP only bc it was shut down very quickly in the west and Vesp Yuri's story in Rays is uh#basically it centers around Flynn he loses his shit to protect Flynn and they do the usual like#don't-admit-it's-gay-outright in fictional media by using the ''Yuri's important person'' shtick#but he activates a special power in the middle of utterly raging to get Flynn back from their enemies#funny thing? that game never made it to that arc. I was told in about five months the western ver would've gotten that#but in some way I'm glad it didn't bc who knows how they would've tried to spin that#It's BAFFLING to me how you can get characters in Tales like JAY but the locs shake in their boots at the idea of queer gays#but given how allergic fictional media is to admitting a male character is gay -gestures to Ike and Vesp Yuri-#I'm not surprised I'm just actually angry that the locs try to censor homosexual relationships as much as possible even when they barely ca#if anyone does know Vesp Yuri and is confused on why I'm calling him gay coded despite what the dub did with Judith feel free to ask#bc I do ship them a little bit myself! but I just recognize that canon wise I really can't see him as anything but gay-demiromantic#but again at least FE locs don't shake in their boots anymore abt same sex pairs including men (side eyes Lucius/Raven)
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World told me it's time to lay in bed like a little sick Victorian child
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i am so excited for the next chapter of heart forsaken. i can't wait to see anarmonia he looks so cool
Yippie!!!! :D
That's so awesome to hear I'm glad you like it! :3
Anarmomia yeah,,,, I need to uh,, work on him, I'll get to that eventually!!
#i haven't worked out how im actually gonna *put* him in the story yet#he might just be a concept sorta thing like Whole#just some cool looking guy thats made up of two other guys#hes the REAL husk/shell#cj told me himself trust#anyway thank you for the ask! :333#the heart forsaken au#The Mail
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Thought my days of fangirling over morally questionable vampires with sad backstories were over.
Alas I have started playing BG3 and well, if you know you know...
#I kept seeing drawings of this random elf showing up on my dash was like who the hell is this guy and how has he bewitched so many people?#my friend who's very into the game told me he was a vampire and I was like oh that's cool I guess#but then she encouraged me to actually play it#and I discovered he's kind of prick#at which point I was like oh no I'm not doing this again#and then the same friend told me he has a tragic backstory#and I realised I was fighting a losing battle#I suspect most of you guys will have heard of BG3 but if you haven't it's a very fun RPG with DnD style mechanics
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#gods staring at The Crane And The Knife#and every concept just Fucks So Hard#like I figured out one of my big plot questions in book 2 to 3 and just#it required an element of worldbuilding that is So Fucking Cool in hindsight#gotta say even though it's kind of opposite of my usual MO#really REALLY love the degree to which this writing project is 'okay what do I need to be true about the world for this to make sense'#instead of starting with the thing and going 'what are the consequences'#and every single time the thing I come up with fucks so hard#[housemate] if I haven't already told you by the time you see this ask me about Heralds#and also how batteries work
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My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.
#text post#like i know why i am awake babe why are YOU awake this late#and god why do we have to do another visit#they aren't bad enough to make me stop this dose and i haven't been on the new dose long enough to let it even out#can i not just Not have to do another uncomfortable visit where even if things turn out okay after#i later feel like I'm still not being wholly trusted/treated like i know my body and how i feel#i had worse side effects restarting this med months ago and we didn't have any additional visits for that#they fucking forgot to even book me for a f/u and i had to call in and beg for one basically#and then they misbooked it for the wrong reason and with the wrong doctor#and made it out like it was my fault when i made clear i begged and told the receptionist i spoke to to book said appt#that it needed to b with my doc for the Lamotrigine and that i hadn't been told when to follow up so i was just. doing it#bc she said i needed to but then didn't say when to book it#they're trying hard and im trying to give them grace but then this shit happens and like#im tired. makes me want to go into my new doc like nah never mind im fine. don't ask me nothing and i won't bug you with anything#unless im dying or nearly dead already.#would suck beyond believe attempting to raw dog life mostly again but goddamn. im so sick of this lack of stability with my care#anyway. probably an appt next Tuesday which is great#that's the week of the weekend that i work again and the week before my bday#(a bday I'll be working now which I'm not normally irked abt but. i am a bit rn)#so cool. yeah. let's stack anxiety and fear over a medical appt on top of everything else for that week#and that's not counting that this weekend I've been tasked with buying and getting signed a v expensive and rare figure#for my mum's bf and I'm kind of terrified im gonna fuck it up#he paid for tickets to the con the figure will be sold at and that the person he wants to sign it will be at#so if i fuck this up he'll want (understandably) to be paid back asap for that#and that's money i don't fucking have rn#i really wish she had waited till the actual day proper to contact me bc i couldn't sleep before this#and now i definitely cant bc like#it's dumb. but what if she takes my med away. it isn't perfect but it works better than any other med I've tried#what if she wants me to try a new one. i cant do that and b dealing with major side effects during the intense work schedule#that'll be happening for me v soon and then into November
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just had an unreasonably bitchy reaction, see yall in 20 minutes when im crying because i was unreasonably bitchy
#i really really need to get that adhd diagnosis 🫠#bc my bitchy reaction was because i didn't communicate early enough that i wouldn't be coming to a family thing today#in my defence i was never told any start time or anything else; just a 'will you be there' a week ago.#wasn't told who would be there or how long or what exactly#and tbh since i was only told like over dinner without anything written to remind me it didn't feel like a thing so important#that id have to give a few days notice#like im not the only one at fault here#sure i could have said that i have no energy to come earlier#ugh this feels like being a teenager all over again#every single fucking christmas my parents play tug of war for who of them im gonna visit on christmas#'but we don't want to guilt trip you' well cool i still feel guilt tripped i haven't stopped feeling guilt tripped since i was fucking 14#it's fucking always spend time with us this spend time with us that as if i want to split up my fucking weekend#every fucking time i ride the train to my hometown for 4 hours with oh yes even more traveling#it's always the 'no pressure but we want to see you again' like saying no pressure somehow takes off all pressure#at least my mom openly guilt trips me while my dad and stepmom somehow believe that they're not stressing me tf out#i swear next year im going to neither on christmas. maybe going to my boyfriend.
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#tag talk#as much as I hate to see the social cinema grow as I get new followers. we're at a good and satisfying number. and I like that#also also also. I've introduced a friend to Hannibal (tv show) and he's loving it and I'm so happy cause none of#of my other friends have been able to stomach the body horror. so it's super cool to find someone to hype over it with#another random story that I genuinely can't remember if I said already. got told by a kid in minecraft that he's smiled a lot more around me#which. huge compliment. genuine honor to make people happy and smile and laugh#people don't laugh enough. we don't smile enough. be happy or die. and I'm too powerful to die. been there. haven't done that#cry and then laugh and then punch as hard as you can.#got to visit some of my favorite residents from the nursing home I first worked at. lotta new staff but my three favorite nurses are still#which is nice. I cried when I left that job because even though it crushed my soul I loved my coworkers and most of my residents.#I get why some healthcare workers grind themselves to the bone for the job. you're making such a huge difference in people's lives.#I tried but didn't have the fortitude for it. but it's nice to be able to go back and say hi to the friends I made and see how things are.#anyway. sorry for being weird like.. one or two weeks ago. I think things are settling out again. moving is rough but we're making it work#It's been a lot of Lear again lately. especially while being at my parents house. he doesn't mind being deadnamed as much sooo....#idk. at least one of us is capable of surviving the dmv and the state medicaid website. heaven knows I can't manage.#trying to stop using him as a crutch for getting things done has just resulted in us not being able to get things done.#but I don't want to be someone else I want to be me. I don't want to be the armor I want to be the human inside.#I don't want to live defensively. pushing everyone away. I can't do that.#anyway. we're back home! and work is on the horizon. hopefully this job works out cause I don't want to have to apply for new jobs.#the hr rep is a man at this store and I immediately got set on edge and our voice dropped as I stepped back.#then we introduced ourselves with the wrong name and he got confused and I just felt stupid about it#but how am I supposed to know which name he's been told. he didn't even use our paperwork name. Anyway that was a disaster#but we're on track and embarrassment is not a setback but a feeling about the way things progress. and it is progress we're making
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being an ed major is crazy because one class will be like "let's read middle school books and play scattergories!" and then the other class is like "Here. Is. Where. You. Learn. Lesson. Plan. Pay. Attention. Or. Die."
#like please why am i reading vygotsky at the same time as a kids graphic novel about lesbianism#i know why#okay#before other educators come at me#i fully understand why#its actually so important that we play scattergories#other kids in my class dont get it#But I Do.#also. at least for my cohort. why are all these ed majors bullies and assholes who think caring isn't cool#like they were straight up making fun of a fellow classmate in a class gc. THAT HE IS IN.#how the fuck are u expecting to teach the youth with that attitude#if u aren't a being of whimsy and passion and committment i fear you will NOT survive teaching#and that is simply common sense#i fear there will be many washouts in my cohort#im so confused by why most of them are in that room#i think maybe a lot of them just don't have experience teaching so they haven't had that 'aha!' moment and the spark lit yet#but im just saying#if i met most of these kids in other class and they told me they wanted to be a middle school teacher#id side eye the fuck out of them#i could complain for days about these people
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It's giving the...main character syndrome. like who tf does she think she is??? Y/N???
NO OH MY GOSH ANON. LET ME TELL YOU. LET ME FRIGGIN TELL YOU.
#okay so i need to give her a name. we will call her yn bc she is just so different and quirky and not like other girls#so i haven't liked yn since freshman year (am a junior) because she seemed incredibly pretentious. she has like awards n stuff for this#asian advocation group and tons of other stuff which is GOOD. but she has a tendency to brag and be very cocky about it.#AND YOU KNOW WHAT. IT WASNT JUST ME. MY FRIEND FROM SEMINAR who we will call Pie for certain reasons (her name rhymes with it) AGREED WITH#ME ABOUT YN BEING COCKY! and Pie and Yn are in the same group since they are both Asian and ppl at my school typically hang out w their rac#is that racist? like there's an asian boys group and asian girls group. but it's only asians and white people; but it's weird since a large#portion of my school is hispanic. i dunno WEIRD SIDE TANGENT BUT BASICALLY THEY ARE IN THE SAME GROUPS; RIGHT? so Pie was agreeing that Yn#can be very pretencious; and I'm then like#oh i don't really like her for the cheating stuff she did with Mac (fake name) and how she got#him to basically cheat on his girlfriend“ and Pie says ”oh well Mac started it; but Yn lead him on for over a month while he had a gf#and they kept this going until Yn decided to break things off; WHICH MEANS MAC'S NOW EX GIRLFRIEND NEVER KNEW ABOUT ANYTHING W MAC N YN!#also allegedly according to my boyfriend; Yn was doing homework as Mac was yk DOING it to Yn and she just like... LET IT HAPPEN WHILE HE HA#A GIRLFRIEND. HELLO? and when Yn ends it; he's like “omg but yn... i love you...” “no. i'll only hurt you; if you're with me it'll only hur#uh okay 25k words slowburn vibes.... ANYWAYS so she takes screenshots and sends them in a SUPER big groupchat with 20+ people (including Pi#and my boyfriend) and Pie (who was childhood friends with Mac) called her out saying how it was also kind of her fault for being with a guy#who was in a relationship; but she got super defensive about it. and this same thing happened AGAIN 2ish months later with a girl Jas and#her boyfriend Ben; where Yn was friends with both but basically was emotionally cheating with Jas; leading them to break up; and then she#GOT WITH JAS. HELLO???? WHAT??? and they r still together. none of them talk to Ben even though Yn said they were 'all cool and friends'#SUREEEE GIRL SURE. KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT. and Pie called her out on this AGAIN since Pie is friends with Ben and Jas too but Yn got#defensive AGAIN! BC SHE KNOWS ITS A SHITTY THING TO DO! and Pie doesn't really like her because of it and when Pie told me all of that I wa#in shock. because Yn was trying to play the victim in the situation with Mac when she sent the messages to the gc; and tried to do that AGA#N BUT IN THE SITUATION WITH JAS LIKE NO U ARE JUST A CRAPPY PERSON ! and appearently she is SO toxic she was nearly kicked out from a#leadership role at my school's asian pacific islander club or something! like girl WAKE UP! but that's not all; so i didn't know she was#known for going for people who had partners; yet still didn't like her; and last school year (about 4 months ago) my boyfriend got a 'reall#bad haircut' (i thought it was cute; but everyone made fun of him ) and Yn RAN around our campus trying to find him to make fun of him..#like wtf that's so weird and she will post screenshots of their convos on her story and be like 'omg he's bullying me!' when he's being dry#and did that in the gc (this time; i'm in it!) and i crashed out but my bf was apologizing and saying he told her to not post anything but#she didn't listen or something i guess. and sometimes when they are wearing similar outfits she'll post on her story that they are matching#um girl he has a wife and 12 kids. back the FUCK off. and i told him to distance himself from her or set boundries cuz i don't like that n#it makes me uncomfy; so he did which is good! but i still don't like Yn. she is a major pick-me IMO and very two-faced and covers her
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She's like, come on I know you wanna see it...
you told me all of last fall
#I have to have piss as a reinforcement trigger#digging deep for an Okely#Dokely#there are clones everywhere#I want them all to fuck off#I mean she looked like a party when that school opemed#the eagle has worn her ass down though#you don't need to be told you're doing a good job.....let me guess the Indonesian chaplain going to africa or something saw you#this chick has got such a low tolerance for bullshit it's hilarious#how about I fuck you mind in an email#that email was legend by the way#me: esp#me: no dumbass like this#it's fine I understand...mine is off the charters but I was ignorant as fuck#too bad hon#probably another teeny wiener there *shrugs*#you had children.....why are you torturing everyone's view of your breadts by compression bras for real.....let em breathe#and yeah I had some dark thoughts that probably made her masturbate#sniff 26 huh#look she has been there a long time....I say lets give her some toots#gotta be cool because she's convinced herself she's a square#not like either if the people who raised you?#ever done 23 and me?#privacy concerns....honey the only thing private is the secret you still haven't figured out#a quarter of dad#.#I don't care#fucking dirty hippies hanging out looking for Hitler#have you heard of Florida man....he finds the ones that haven't ever been fucked and gives it to them#if a devil then I will use his magic too I don't give a fuck
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when i was a kid (10 or so) i was going grocery shopping with my family and freaked out and was refusing to go into the store. my dad reacted to this by trying to drag me out of the car and hit me in the parking lot. now that's not that bad (relatively speaking) but the part that really sticks with me is that some guy started recording it on his phone. i really hope he was just trying to collect evidence or something and didn't think me getting beaten was funny. honestly, probably says something about me that it took so long for me to even realize that he may have been recording for altruistic reasons and not because he was laughing at me.
#it just haunted me for a long time to think that he might have put it online to mock me#like id imagine people making fun of me saying what a spoiled horrible kid i was or whatever#in hindsight he was probably taking a video to call the cops and show them. But i wish i just hadn't been told about it#My mom said something to try to get my dad to stop but I wish I just didn't know. It really fucked with me#like when you're already being blamed for all your abuse it's very hard to not internalize that#and you just kind of assume that nobody is on your side bc obviously it's your fault for being a difficult child#and i WAS a difficult child lmao i had extreme mental problems and nobody knew how to handle them#but the fact remains that if you can't handle a child having sensory overload and meltdowns and panic attacks#you shouldn't have had children in the first place#i know this is therapy material and not Tumblr material but in my experience telling therapists about past abuse can be... a bad idea#Like for me it's bc i now get on okay with my parents. So they can assume I'm making it up or exaggerating and that hurts more than not#Saying anything at all. Bc they haven't been given the full picture. My last therapist was cool but this was when my dad was going to#Sessions with me and she had to be civil with him to get him to keep going. Which made me feel like she wasn't on my side and believed him#When he said it was my fault and he was having a reasonable reaction to stress or whatever.
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user @s1nn0hh unlocking their third eye and breaking down the very fabric of Echo like they've got a personal window into the privacy of my own mind. They somehow have total access to the inner intricacies of my OC ideas it seems.
But anyway you GET her my friend, oh my gosh you GET HER.
Sketching my girl and messing w/ bold colors while I brainstorm fic ideas.
#sinnoh this has made me SO happy#like BEYOND happy I keep reading what you wrote over and over your TAGS AHHHH#my brain has melted rn cause you were so ACCURATE in your descriptions oh my god#the other day I was talking to some mutuals about how I've been slacking on my WIP fic cause I've been de-motivated and just tired overall#and thinking that not many people beyond my mutuals would really take an interest in Echo#(especially since I haven't posted much about her and Sora yet and I am hoping to fix that with art soon and if I could just FINISH writing#but you taking the time to analyze her like this!!! And so perfectly!! ALL FROM ONE PICTURE!!!#you are so cool thank you!! c:#also... I am a lurker and lemme tell you that I REALLY like Erida and Gaia even tho I've been too shy to say anything#I literally just told Fuji the other day that I think you're really awesome and that I'm lame for never interacting with others#and those are some QUALITY OCs and I've got big heart eyes whenever I look at/read about Erida and Gaia#anyways thank you thank you for these tags it was such a lovely surprise < 3
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