#I haven't had a grilled cheese in ages

[rjmartin11]

Hide and Go Seek One Shot

Pairing: Elvis & female!reader

Summary: Elvis had been away from you for far too long, and you want to play with him in more ways than one.

Word Count: ???

Warnings: Material is not suitable for under 18 years of age. Viewer discretion is advised!

Author's Notes: Hello, world. RJ here. I'm just passing through with a one-shot that's been on the shelves of my mind for a while. I'm retired from writing, but I wanted y'all to have this. Something dirty. Enjoy.

・ʚ♡ɞ・・ʚ♡ɞ・・ʚ♡ɞ・・ʚ♡ɞ・

It's been a full thirty-five days since Elvis left on his cross-country tour, and you missed him deeply. Even though he calls every few days to let you know where he is and how the shows are going, you need him around. His physical presence keeps you humble.

Although you have your hands full with a one year old baby boy. You want his daddy around to play with both of you. You feel like Elvis would have missed his first steps if he didn't walk in through the door that very moment.

He called you last night stating that he'd be home today. You haven't truly slept since the call. It only mattered that baby boy had rest, so he could play with daddy. You made sure he was fed and bathed.

You started cooking immediately for your weary traveler and his band of soldiers. All of Elvis' favorite dishes were to be made with exceptions. Fried chicken, barbecue chicken on the grill, potato salad, mustard greens, mashed potatoes with Smoky Mountain gravy, black-eyed peas, macaroni and cheese, cream onion casserole, and cornbread. For dessert, banana pudding, sweet potato pie, and Ms. Mary's chocolate cake.

You scrambled all over the kitchen with Ms. Mary and Ms. Nancy came in to help with the load. You worked a full six hours in preparation for your love to come home to a great meal. You knew the meals on the road consisted of junk food, so this had to be special.

As you started to slow down a bit, Ms. Nancy asked you to go upstairs and rest. You didn't want to fall asleep on Elvis, so you did as asked and slept for a few hours.

"Mama???" You hear his little voice from down the hall and open your eyes. "Mama???"

You rub the sleep out of your eyes and head to his room. You creep slow around the corner as you hear him continue to call your name. You peek your head in the door, and he starts to giggle. Your son has his daddy's contagious gift of laughter.

"Is that my little Garon?" You ask.

"Mama!" He says with excitement in his voice.

"Hi, Mama's baby boy. Mama's handsome baby boy," you say, taking him out of his crib.

You get him ready for the day, and you both head downstairs. The ladies have taken care of dinner just as promised. You hand Garon off to his Great Aunt Delta and Great-Grandma Dodger so you can finish getting dressed for Elvis' arrival. You take a quick shower and get your hair and makeup ready for him. You want to look irresistible for your love.

As you put the final touches on mascara, you hear a big commotion downstairs.

"Daddy's home," you say to yourself, finishing up.

You run out of the room and to the staircase just in time to see Elvis look up at you. His smile lights up the room, and your glows.

"Hello, Mrs. Presley," he says, greeting with Garon in his arm.

"Hello, my husband," you reply, walking down the stairs.

He walks up to you with his free arm open to you. You embrace him gently as your son is in his other arm. He kisses your head and whispers he missed you. You tell him how much you miss him and how glad he's home.

Everybody crowded into the kitchen to get a plate. You made Elvis' and Garon's plates first, and then everyone piled in for their plate. Ms. Nancy made you a plate, so you sit and eat.

For the next thirty to forty-five minutes, the house was alive with laughter and conversation. Everyone talking about the tour and their adventures on the road.

"All in all," Elvis starts, "it was an amazing trip. This tour was great. Now, I'm just grateful to rest for the next three months."

"Rest? My husband wants to rest?" You ask.

"Yes," he answered. "Traveling around the country is fun, but I wanna rest."

"I guess you can wait on that surprise I have for you," you whisper in his ear.

"Surprise??? Baby, you didn't have to get me anything."

"I wanted to," you say, kissing his cheek. "Get rid of the boys and come find me upstairs."

You pick up Garon and walk toward the door. You bid everyone good night. Your sister drops by and takes Garon home with her, so you and Elvis can have Graceland all to yourselves.

You go upstairs and wait for him on the bed. You waited six months, so another fifteen to thirty minutes wouldn't hurt.

You peek out the window as everyone leaves out the front door, piling into their cars. Elvis tells everyone goodnight and thanks them for everything. He turns and looks up at the window. He sees you staring back at him and smiles the notorious smile of his. You bite your lip and close the curtain.

Seconds later, he's up in the room looking at you sitting on the bed.

"My pretty little Satnin. How I've missed you," he whispers as he crawls on top of you.

"I missed you, E," you whisper back.

He starts passionately kissing. You start slipping your fingers in his hair as he does so, kissing him back. You've longed for this moment for six, dreaded long months.

You roll yourself on top of him and push yourself off of him. You stand in front of him and begin to undress. Elvis watches in awe of you. As you slip out of your panties, cock begins to tent in his pants.

"You missed me, E?" You ask.

"Can't you tell?" He asks back.

"Then why are your clothes still on?"

Without another thought, Elvis starts to unbutton his shirt and undo his belt. Pulling his pants down off of his hips, disposing them to the floor. His cock sits up long and hard before you. All the things you want to do his penis. All the things you've longed to do to his penis.

You bow in front of Elvis. Not allowing him to wait another moment to start to suck him off at the head of his cock. His head falls back, and he moans your name. You only do this for a few seconds until you get off of your knees. You gently climb on top of him until you both are face to face, kissing one another. Elvis rubs your back. Followed by your ass. Then, he slides his fingers in between your legs to your vaginal lips, gently stroking your clitorus. You indulge in the feeling a moment.

Then Elvis pumps his cock a few times, attempting to penatrate you. You stop him and whisper,

"I wanna play a game."

"What?" Elvis asks confused.

You crawl off of him, standing before him and repeat,

"I. Wanna. Play. A. Game."

Elvis, reluctant to your quips, answers you as he gently strokes the throbbing in his dick.

"What kind of a game, Y/N?"

"Hide and Go Seek. In the house. Naked."

Elvis, wide eye, pops his head up to look at you.

"A... w-what? Hide and seek in the house naked?" He answers.

You nod your head enthusiastically. The smile never leaves your face. You squeeze your legs at the thought of him catching you. It makes you wet.

"Y/N, baby. Garon? What if he needs us?"

"He's with his aunt. He'll be with her for the rest of the night."

"Mary? Nancy?"

"I gave them the night off. They helped me cook your welcome home dinner. They earned it."

"Dodger? Aunt Delta?"

"E, everyone is gone. Graceland is all ours for the evening. Surprise."

Elvis smirks to you with that infamous smirk that makes your heart gallop, your knees quiver, and pussy drips. Elvis sits up on the bed, looking at you like he could eat you alive.

"You have twenty seconds to hide before I stuff my dick so far up your pussy they hear you scream on Beale Street," Elvis says.

"That's only if you can catch me," you laugh, running out the door and down the stairs.

"One!" Elvis shouts, standing from the bed.

"Two! Three!" He continues to shout.

Elvis gets quiet as he starts searching the house for you. He walks downstairs, allowing the soft carpet to massage his bare feet. He quietly looks in the living room, and he even takes the extra steps to see if you're hiding in the music room. He'd love to fuck you on top of the piano.

He walks into the dining area and checks under the table. He makes way into the kitchen, silently searching for you. He rubs the ache in his dick, begging for a release only you can prove.

"Y/N?" He calls out to you. "Oh, Y/N. Where are you?" He asks.

He walks towards the Jungle Room, but there's still no sign of you. It doesn't make him mad. It only makes him want you more. He so enjoys the chase.

"Oh, you are so good at this, Y/N," he says. "I'm going to find you, and I'm going to fuck you so hard that you'll be begging me to stop."

You start to giggle but quietly move downstairs. Elvis heard you and ran to the sound of your voice.

"Baby, no cheating now. If you left the house, that's cheating. You want the public to see you. That beautiful, naked body of yours."

*ring* goes the phone.

Elvis looks at the phone confused. Who could be calling you and him right in the middle of your game. Hesitant, Elvis picks up the phone and answers.

"Hello?"

"I didn't leave the house," you say over the phone.

"Y/N, you naughty girl. You deserve a spankin'."

"Don't threaten me with a good time."

"Once I get my hands on you..."

"Talk is cheap, Presley."

"Tell me where you are."

"Where's the fun in that?" You answered him. "You're so close, E."

"Give me a hint."

"Well, there are six phones in the house. One in your study. The kitchen. The bedroom. The living room. And the other two are... E?"

Elvis goes quiet. Dead quiet to the point that it scares you. Then you realize he knows where you are!!! He knows you're downstairs! You drop the phone and try to make a run for it, but he grabs you as you get to the doorway. You yell with excitement.

You back away from him. You made him wait to pleasure you too long. He's sex deprived, hungry, and needy for you. You can see the lust in his eyes. Where the color of his eyes was once a clear blue, you now see a stormy dark gray.

"Now, E..." You say trying to calm him down.

"Silence," Elvis says, backing you up to the sofa.

You run away from him further into the den of the room, but he's right behind you. He grabs you and lays you face down on the sofa. He slaps your ass a few times cause moans to escape from your lips.

"Bad girl," Elvis says, through clinched teeth.

*smack*

"Making me wait to fuck you."

*smack*

"Not allowing me to take what's rightfully mine."

*smack*

"Awe!" Is all you can muster up.

The action makes you wetter. You start to hump the couch as another smack lands across your backside. Elvis has your hands where you can please yourself, so you fuck the sofa.

He forces his hand upon your ass once more, then he raises you ass in the air where you can't grind the sofa.

"Elvis, please," you beg.

"Elvis, please!" He mocks you, placing another smack to your rear end.

Then, without warning, he stuffs himself inside your pussy from behind. You let out such a moan at the penatration and pleasure that fulls you up. Holding your sides, he pounds his rock-hard dick inside with fervor. You delight in the feeling of being one with him.

With your hands free, you waste no time placing your fingers on your clit to work yourself into a frenzy. He pumps into you for a few minutes until he pulls out of you, turning you around to fuck you from the front.

He hungrily kisses your lips and makes his way down your neck. He takes his time going down to your breast, giving them special treatment. You moan at the sensation of his lips on your skin. They're like two plush clouds massaging you.

Elvis bites your left nipple causing you to scream. He looks at you with that devilish grin and licks the ache away. He sits up for a moment, and you take this opportunity to kiss him. You push him on his back, mounting his cock. He helps you line yourself up with his cock, and pulls you down to relieve the ache of pleasure. You both moan at the first stroke of each other.

You begin to ride his penis like you're on saddle back. You start slow at a slow trot and pick up the pace into a full gallop. Your heart has been racing since the beginning of your little game. But it's nothing compared to the way it races with Elvis inside you. You love this man so much.

He pushes himself inside you just right where he hits your g spot, and your moans fill the room. You are so blissed out from ecstasy that you tumble on top of him. He holds you closer than a toddler holds his or her teddy bear.

You both lay there quietly, just enjoying each other's company.

"Baby," Elvis says, "That was the best game of hide and seek I've ever played. I never knew running around Graceland naked could be such fun."

"Oh, I did, E. I knew," you say, wrapping his arm around you.

"So, what's the next game, Y/N?" He asks, kissing your head.

"I'm sure you'll think of something."

Taglist: @missmaywemeetagain @beeandheroddobsessions @headfullofpresley @everythingpresley @epforeverohyes @vintagepresley @pianginferno @powerofelvis @ab4eva @foreverdolly @searchingforgravity @thatbanditqueen @daffieapple @18lkpeters @dkayfixates @epsgirl @richardslady121 @literally-just-elvis-fics @eptodaytommorowforever @vintageshanny @iloveelvis @dreamingofep @aliypop @littlehoneyposts @msamarican

[yourpalmickeymouse]

Dear Mickey,

Do you have a favorite food?

Hiya hatred-n-havoc,

It's great seein' another question from ya. Now to answer your question... 😳

...

Listen, I know it's a bit of a stereotype.

But I can't lie to you or myself...

...

It's cheese. Yes, cheese. 🙄

Yeah I know "mice like cheese" but I can't help it, it's what I like. I really like the soft creamy cheeses and the sharp cheese with a bite to them. Oh, and the cheeses that are flavored with berries or peppers. Or the ones that are smoky and nutty. Or the ones that have been aged to perfection. They're all just so good. Sometimes I'll get a party sized cheese platter and just eat the entire thing in one sittin' ... I probably shouldn't have shared that. 😅

But it isn't just limited to just plain cheese. I also like things with cheese in or on them like cheese sticks, cheese balls, cheese pizza, cheesecake, grilled cheese... Mmmm... Boy, I haven't had grilled cheese in a while. 😋

Well now this questions is makin' me hungry. Sorry for goin' off on a tangent. I think I more than answered your question. I'm gonna go make me something to eat.

- M.M

[that-one-anxious-mango]

Heyyy ☺️ I love this series sooo much, it is so nice to see Austin stories that involve a black reader. Not having to edit the story in my head to make it fit me is wonderful 🥰. For your Drabble event could you do either first date or a special date that they have had? Thank you 💕 💕

20 Questions.

Summary: It’s a in-house date night with Austin and his best girl. Where you get to know them and they get to know each other!

Contents: Fluff ofc! Mentions of deceased relatives. Little angst if you squint. Slight steaminess. Austin and his best girl being the cutest.

A/N: Hi Beautiful Humans! It’s me! I hope y’all of you are having a wonderful time. Just wanted to go ahead and drop this off for you guys and also give some special shout-outs to:

@pennyroyalcreep for not only this lovely prompt, but also for your continued love and support with my work. ❤️

@purejasmine one of the sweetest people I know and a absolutely amazing writer. Thanks for always supporting and creating.

I also wanna thank @adoreyouusugar , @denised916, and @homebodybirkin2003 whose comments never cease to make me smile.

And to everyone else who I may have missed. THANK YOU. I truly appreciate it.

Moving on I am also officially starting a tag list. As I plan to upload some things this week. So if you’d like to be added please leave a :) in the comments.

Thank you all!

P.S Everyone feel free to PLEASE comment and reblog. Also send me letters with idea and prompts. Love hearing from you all. Much love! * hugs*

-------

Today was Friday.

Which also meant it was date night. 

And with it being quite gloomy outside for the usual LA weather the two of you had decided that it'd be the perfect day to have a in-house date night. You insisted that tonight you would to try and cook for your man a simple meal of grilled cheese and tomato soup.

A skeptical but supportive Austin would go on to happily watch you not only blacken all attempts at the grilled cheese, but also burn the poor tomato soup that you forgot to add enough water to.

And once the tears started rolling, in real Austin fashion he'd wrapped you in a blanket and placed you on the couch promising to return. After cleaning up your food fail he pulled out all the ingredients he needed and made a hell of a good pan of pasta. 

After some feeding, cuddling, finger fucking , and napping. The two of you had decided that a more PG-13 activity was in order. With that you suggested a game that you'd been wanting to play with Austin for a while. Let's get deep: 20 question edition.

" Okay. Here we go, number one." You listened to Austin while you giggled staring down at the stacks of cards in front of you and then back up at Austin, who looked on in amusement. " What movie was so sad that you would never watch it again? " He asked.

" Mmmm." You thought for a minute, there were plenty but really you could only narrow it down to two, " I think I would definitely have to say either Dumbo or Fruitvale Station. I can't choose. You can only watch both once." You affirmed.

" Watching Dumbo is a traumatizing experience that no child of any age should be subjected to at all. Like just the first thirty minutes was enough for me to need a lifelong therapist. And as far as Fruitvale Station goes...I feel that the content overview speaks for itself. It's a beautiful movie, but I could barely make it through til the end." You explained.

Austin nodded, " I seen Dumbo a long time ago when I was little and all I remember is this very strong urge to go hug my mom after watching. " He said making you smile, " But I haven't seen Fruitvale Station. No particular reason why, it's just never happened."

" Understandable." You nodded reaching to grab another card off one of the piles.

" My turn. Two. What's the weirdest thing you find attractive in a person?" You moved your eyes to look at him in curiosity.

Almost immediately he said, " People who floss."

Amused in question you went, " Really? Why? "

" Yeah. I don't know. But in a weird way to me. It shows that you care about yourself. Like babe, do you know how many people don't floss. Ever." He explained.

And the more you thought about it, he was right. Gross.

But lucky for you, you didn't have that problem seeing as your upbringing had made you a bit of a dental freak. So you hit all the points in that department. 

" Yeah. I guess I see your point. " You said just as a thought passed in your mind, " So, do you find it attractive when I floss." You goofed biting a bit of your upper lip.

Laughing at you he leaned over to plant a hardy peck to your lips, pulling away to say, " Makes my dick jump every time, sweetheart." He half whispered sending the two of you into a short fit of laughter.

" Alright alright alright. Next. Three. " He moved to pick up a card, " Describe our relationship in three words." He asked.

Even though you had to think a bit, it didn't take you long before you had your three words, " Meaningful.....Honest.... Adaptive. " You answered.

Eyes glimmering in happiness and satisfaction Austin questioned, " I know these are suppose to be short but, care to elaborate please."

" Well, I feel it's meaningful because literally almost everything we do has some type of meaning behind it. Like when you got me the fern. Or when I gave you the blanket. There's always some type of love behind everything. Plus you mean so much to me and in-turn I mean so much to you, which I guess in general terms makes us meaningful..right?" You giggled trying your best to explain your thoughts in the best way you could.

But Austin understood what you meant, he felt his heart swelling bigger and bigger by the moment, " I see. So what about honest?"

" I feel our relationship is also built around honesty. I know I've told you this before but throughout my life I've encountered a great deal of liars and that's something that I really didn't wanna come into my adult life with. Unavoidable I know. And especially in a relationship. " You began, " But with you, from the day that we sat down, listening to you be so open and honest with me when at the time I was just a complete stranger to you. It made me feel something. And from then on I've never ever had to second guess anything or feel like your keeping things from me. It's refreshing and I value that." You explained.

Austin listened intently thinking back to the first hours the two of you had spent together talking after he'd finished reading you the book. Hearing you talk about how surprised you were hearing Austin talk the way he did shocked him a bit. He hadn't really ever realized just how personal the two of you had gotten in that short amount of time. But to him now, that was just proof that this was something special from the start.

" And finally I think we're adaptive because whether it be your schedule or mine that keeps up from doing traditional couples stuff. We make it work. We adapt to whatever challenge we face together. And that's important." You finished offering a smile.

Austin return your feeling of content displaying a smile of his own. He was so happy to be with you. And to be building the kind of relationship where it's foundations were things like these. Things that would help the two of you last, because all in all. That was goal.

" I think all of that is really accurate and beautiful, mama. I love you." He said reaching for your hand to bring it to his lips and press a gentle kiss to it.

" I love you, Aus." You returned reaching that same hand to palm his cheek.

The two of you continued your little moment before moving forward.

" Number four. Name something that you wish you could do but can't." You asked.

Teasing Austin said, " Gain the ability to say no to you."

You rolled your eyes playfully. " Be serious, Austin."

Laughing some more he says, " I am being serious, woman. You have no idea the power you hold over me. It's like you just know all you have to do is bat those pretty lashes at me and say please, to turn me into a sucker." He informed.

Your smile widen, " Really? "

Austin nodded leaning back against the couch, " Awe don't be coy. Really, mama."

You sounded a ' Hmmph '.

" Well I'll just have to keep that in mind then, huh?" You said shooting him a glance.

Smirking he replied, " Don't go getting too many good ideas."

" I won't."

With that he leaned up to send a squeeze to your thigh before reaching and grabbing another card.

" Mm. This is a good one." Austin's lips twitched up into a smirk while he shot you a look.

" Oh god." You laughed rolling your eyes, " Dare I ask? "

" Yes, please dare." He wiggled his eyebrows and you laughed, " Go ahead then."

" Five, If there's a particular part of you I should touch to get you in the mood. Where would it be?" He questioned.

Playfully humming while placing your pointer finger to the corner of your lips, the curiosity of wanting to know where he thought it was himself popped in," Before I answer where do you think it is, Mr. Butler?"

" Well, honey." He sighed leaning back against the couch," Based on months of bountiful research and exhausting observations. I'd have to say it'd be your neck."

Dammit.

He was right. You loved when he touched your neck. It always left you breathless in more ways than one.

" You sure, " You challenged figuring to keep your cool," Because if I recall your always touching my thighs."

And it was true. If the two of you were laying down to read or watch a movie Austin either had to have his head rested in your lap or hands stuffed between the crevices of your thighs. In the car, Austin only drove with his left hand because his right was specially reserved for your thigh. Whenever your being a little bratty or you say something about yourself that Austin isn't fond of, you better believe he is going to send a good little pinch to your thigh before kissing the spot all better.

" That's because their my particular part of you that gets me in the mood." He informed looking at you while gliding a singular finger up your thigh to the hemline of the shorts you wore. Still never dropping eye contact he continued, " But I know it's your neck because whenever we make love and I run my hand across your neck or decide to take a good little grip on it. That my love, is when you come for me the hardest." He finished.

By now that same finger had turned into a full hand that had found it's way up to get a nice gentle but firm hold on your neck. He softly used it to pull you to him and place a nice sloppy kiss to your lips making a moan release from your throat.

Pulling back he let go with a smug grin on his face to your annoyed but disheveled expression before motioning for you to draw a card while you tried to collect yourself.

Once you had settled the waves below, you a bit shakily grab the next card, clearing your throat, " Okay. Six. What is one activity that makes you feel alive?"

Without a doubt Austin knew his answer, " Easy. Horseback riding. Nothing like making that bond with a horse, the trust you build with them is pure. And then being out and open with nature. Clearing your mind and body. It's refreshing." He explained. " I think that's why filming The Shannara Chronicles was one of my favorite projects so far." He furthered grabbing a sip of the Yerbamate on the table.

" Yep and I'll have to take your word for it, babe." You quickly chirped making Austin sigh. 

Ever since you and Austin had stumbled on the topic of horseback riding one day and you had revealed to him that while you thought horses were absolutely majestic and beautiful from a distance, under no circumstances would you ever consider getting on one. Period. And to him this was a great injustice...almost as big as when you told him you didn't like PB & J's.

You shuddered at the thought.

" Baby for the thousandth time. I'm telling you it's not as scary as you think it is. And you won't know until you try it. That thing with the girl was just a freak accident. That's a exception." Austin tried to argue but still you just shook your head unphased. You knew what you'd witnessed all those years back and you were good.

" Austin." You started, " The poor girl broke her back and part of her collarbone after one of them threw her off and fell on her. I seen it happen. It's like he WWE smushed her ass on the ground." You recalled watching a friend of a friend in high-school's scary interaction with the creature. It was terrifying. " Plus I'm pretty sure that she wasn't exactly ever the same in the membrane after that either." You added thinking about some of the antics the girl had gotten into post injury.

Austin blew out a breath, " Honey, while I think the situation is terrible. I'm pretty sure there was other factors that went into the happening. But I'm telling you that it's not normally like that. You just have to trust yourself and the horse."

Hearing him you still you were unchanged and really wanting to chance the topic so you came up with the compromise, " Okay okay okay. I hear you, Aus. And I'll think about it some more okay." You suggested shooting him a look to send the message that you were ready to move on.

Taking the hint he settled for what you were giving with a somber smile and moved to pick up another card, " So the next one is a little heavier, if that's alright?" Austin questioned staring down at the card.

Feeling like you could fully trust him you nodded, " Go head, babe." You prompted preparing yourself.

" Seven, in your opinion which is worse. Emotional or physical cheating? " He asked looking directly into your eye line.

" Oh." You spoke. It wasn't like you couldn't answer or that this wasn't something the two of you hadn't discussed. It was just a bit of a uncomfortable topic was all.

" Well being honest..." You trailed looking over to his face that was locked in on yours.

" Yeah." Austin encouraged.

Taking a second to collect your thoughts you began, " Like I said before, cheating no matter what is a deal breaker for me. But, being honest I think their equally as bad in opinion. I know anyone can argue it anyway. But the way I see it is that it takes something emotional in the first place to drive someone to cheat physically. I feel like if we're in a exclusive relationship where we're trusting and committing our bodies to only each other and you go and share that part of you with someone else it's a betrayal. And same thing with emotional. If we're in a relationship and I'm giving my all to let you know that there isn't anything that you should feel like you can't come to me about, and you still go and share those parts with someone else. That's also pretty bad so..." You finished looking him directly in eye. 

Austin nodded taking in what you were saying completely. This wasn't his first time hearing you express your expectations when it came to this type of dishonesty, but it was good to hear again all the same, " I hundred precent agree with everything you've said. And vice versa over here. I think our communication is good enough to where we can communicate our needs effectively to each other. But I still want you to know that we're never going to get to that point, honey. That's one of the reasons that ring is on your finger. It's a promise." Austin sincerely confessed making your heart expand.

You peaked down at the promise ring on your finger and then back at Austin.

" I know." 

" Good."

" Alrighty moving on. Eight. Is applesauce suppose to be warm or cold? " You posed.

" Cold." Austin immediately responded, " That's the only right answer."

You nodded, " I whole-heartedly agree. And I'm glad to know that you aren't a nutjob. "

" Noted. Next." Austin laughed picked up a card, " Nine. What is something that you wanna like but just can't? "

You sighed in faked despair, " Saunas. I really wanted to be that girl. The insta-fit chick that has the whole sauna self care bit going. But I realized how much I really don't like being sweaty unless absolutely necessary. " You informed to a smirking Austin. 

Before he could open his mouth you reiterated, " I SAID ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY." 

His hands shot up in defense while he snickered, " All I was going to ask was if you wanted to get sweaty later. But seeing as that wouldn't be absolutely necessary. I guess not." He shrugged.

Smacking your teeth you grabbed a pillow to childishly toss at Austin while you tell him that getting sweaty with him will always be absolutely necessary in your book.  " I'll hold you to that." He says shooting you the infamous look.

" Look forward to it. But first we have to finish this before we start something else, " You remind him picking up a new card, " Ten. Name the most fond memory you have with your moth-" You stopped mid- question instantly regretting asking, you hadn't meant to bring it up.  Idiot.

Quickly you tried to shift and grab another card while shooting him a sympathetic look, " I'm sorry, babe. I- I should have read the card in my head before I read it out lo-"

But he halted your movement softly grabbing your hand, " It's okay It's alright, B-"

" No, Austin it's not I sho-"

" You should just go ahead and let me answer. I promise it's okay. Matter of fact..I want to." He said holding your eye contact to show you he was sincere until you agreed leaning back. 

" I know I've said this in interviews before, but growing up not to faraway from Disney and Knotts Berry, my mom and I would go all the time. Finish all my homework earlier in the day and then drive over. We used to spend hours riding the rides or just sitting on the park benches and talking. Because I was so shy and homeschooled on top of it she was bestfriend. I could sit and talk to her about anything....God I miss her." Austin reminisced bringing a smile to his face. You could see the tears forming in his eyes and in return yours did the same. 

Instinctively you reached out to him which he accepted offering you a spot on his lap.

 You held onto him in silence drinking in his warmth and touch while enjoying the quiet comfort you were offering through the silent intimacy. The two of you stayed just like that for awhile. Your head against his chest listening to the melody of his heartbeat and feeling the weight of his head rested on yours. His hands ran up and down your spine gripping and rubbing. 

You felt oddly harmonious with each other. 

The two of you stayed like that before you let go when the brilliant idea of desert popped in your mind. Remembering that Beatrice had dropped off a royal raspberry drizzle cheesecake. You went to the kitchen coming back with two plates carrying carefully sliced pieces. You were sure this would lighten the mood.

Austin smiled taking his plate and offering you a " Thank you, baby." And a kiss to the temple. 

From there you resumed your game.

" Eleven. What is the most precious or important thing you own? " Austin asked before taking the bite of cheesecake you were offering.

" Um. " You sounded setting the desert plate on the coffee table, " Well, babe. I'm gonna have to cheat a little bit." You confessed.

" Oh. How's that." Austin inquired.

" I'm gonna have to list some things." You confirmed.

Smiling Austin says, " I'll allow it."

" Good. Okay so the most precious and important things I own in no particular order is my promise ring, the blanket my mom made me, our fern, my mother's ring, and my lucky smiley hat." You listed.

" You know I love when you wear that hat." He laughed, " You always look so cute. Remember when you wore it when we went to go see the jazz band in the park. Everyone tried to steal it off of you." 

" Yeah it was quite interesting. Having to fight off people with John Coltrane playing in the back."

"  But anywho. Twelve, If we were role playing. What would you dress me up as? " You bite your lip waiting on his response.  You were extremely curious to hear his answer.

You had to adjust yourself a little bit as you felt the gates to your 'oasis' starting to open up even more than earlier from the way he was looking at you.

" Honestly? " Austin's eyebrow raised.

" Of course. Wouldn't want it any other way." You responded.

" Well, even though it may sound cliché. In my younger years," He laughed, " The whole French maid thing intrigued me for a bit."

Your mouth twitched in a smile, " Know what. I'm not surprised. That checks out." 

" What?! What's that suppose to mean? " 

You laughed at his playfully offended expression while he clutched his chest, " It means that you seem like a french maid kind of man, babe. Classy. You already have this old school charm to you. So it's on-brand that you'd be into that." You elaborated.

He looked at you a second before saying a simple, " Thats fair. "

Tilting his head at you he continued, " So, if a little french maid outfit just happened to appear in your size around here somewhere. And I called to say my office may need some dusting...would you be willing to oblige." He suggested leaning over and biting at his lip.

You leaned in and said, " Oui."

He groaned and blushed a bit in response moving to grab another card only to laugh when he read it, "Right on topic. Thirteen. How many children do you want someday? "

" Um...uh..well it really depends. When I was younger I always wanted to be like cheaper by the dozen or the mine, yours, and ours family. " You giggled thinking about how you wanted a brood of children to homeschool, make three meals a day for, and be driven absolutely crazy by. But as you got older and life took it's fuzzy fun filter off and you began seeing the true colors of the world, that life started to seem less and less ideal. 

You caught Austin's face which was mixed with curiosity and glee. Even though you guys had had some conversations here and there that involved kids he'd never heard this from you before. He was intrigued, "Seriously you wanted twelve kids. You with twelve kids?" He repeated for emphasis.

You laughed, " Yeah. Believe it or not. I like kids and I love my nieces and nephews even though I don't get to see them as much as I'd like. So, in a perfect fantasy world. But being realistic though. I think I would like two or four. I wanna have enough but not too many to where I won't have the energy or the time to give them all as much equal time and attention." You explained.

" I get that. And I like that it's even numbers. So no one will ever be left out of games and they'll be able to pair up when we go out to fairs or do activities." He added with a gleam in his eye.

Austin couldn't lie and say that hadn't thought of what life would be like settling down with you and hearing little footsteps roam the halls. Some could say it was too soon to be thinking about things like that, but he couldn't help. You made him want a future with you.

And vice versa. 

" Exactly. Don't want anyone getting lonely." You agreed trying to play off the blush that had captured your face. You pulled a card, " Fourteen. What's your favorite thing about me?" You asked.

" There's so many different things, honey." Austin sighed trying to rack his brain to be able to just pick one thing, and then he said it, " Your unflinching ability to be kind to everyone."

Your twisted up your face, " Really, you think so? " 

It wasn't like you were saying that you thought you were mean. I mean sure you did your best to try and be nice and kind to everyone you came across, but you weren't the type to just stick that label to yourself. 

" YES REALLY. " Austin emphasized, " You'd literally give anyone the clothes off your back and shoes off your feet. You never cease to amaze me with the grace you have with people even when they don't deserve it. Especially in that situation with the Paps the other week. I know it took a lot not to respond to the name calling and picking but you just kept going and even told the man to have ' a blessed day'." Austin recalled the icky interaction you'd had with paparazzi while out with some friends. 

Shaking your head you waved him off, " I just do what I was raised to do. It's a natural thing. Can't sweat that." You said.

And that's exactly what I want you to teach our children. Austin thought. 

" Yeah, babe. I know. But it still adds to your amazingness. " He concluded picking a card, " Alright. Fifteen. Where is somewhere you've always wanted to go, but never been? " 

Your answer was almost instant, " Italy." 

Austin blinked fast smiling, " That was fast." 

You shyly grinned, " Yeah I know. I didn't mean to say it that fast but that's my number one. I've just always been fascinated by the food and culture. And I really feel like I wanna go and immerse myself in it. Ya' know experience it for myself." You told him of your dream.

It was true too. You could see yourself having authentic pasta and taking walks along the rivers. Finally trying pure gelato. Visiting different museums and taking rides on the gondola. It might sound like cliché tourist behavior but you wanted it all. 

Austin was taking note of how you lit up while talking about the idea of visiting and decided to slip that note into his pocket for later. 

Once you'd finished your mini ranting you picked a card, " Sixteen. Name something that you're weirdly good at? "

Austin noodled on the question. Then you watched him grab one of the unused napkins as he started to twist and pinch it in his hands. 

Curious you asked, " What're you doing, my sweet baboo? "

Feeling fuzzy at the name he responded, " You'll see. Just wait a second, honey." 

So waited and watched him. You found it cute how concentrated he looked. 

 And before you knew it. He was handing you a beautifully crafted rose napkin.

" Awe Austin." You gushed. " It's so cute. How'd you learn to do that? " 

" Ah'. It's just something I randomly picked up once. But I think I've gotten pretty good at it over the years." He said. 

" I hope you know I'm going to force you to do this with all our napkins now, right." You teased. 

" That's fine. Anything for you, mama." He moved closer to you now wrapping a arm around you. 

You didn't know why but him saying that, had made something jump in you. Something hot.

And the closer he got, the more you looked at his face. And the more you looked at his face, the more you wanted to sit on it. 

Not being able to help yourself you managed to move in and capture your his lips with yours. They were always so soft. 

After a minute almost reluctantly he pulled back catching apart of his breath, " Woah, Mama. Wait a minute. As much as I'd love to keep going. Don't you still wanna finish the game first? " He asked cupping your face with a hand.

"Nope." You popped the P, " Not really." You spoke before pulling him back in. He groaned in your mouth at the added friction you brought by started to grind slowly into his lap.

Still once more he found the strength to move away, " You sure?" 

You nodded, but just then a funny little tease came to mind, " Know what. Actually, I do have one last question honey." You said running your against his cheek.

" Go for it, darling."

" Final question. What's your favorite sex position." You questioned positioning yourself up some more. You could see the fire dancing in his eyes and from the way he licked his lips you were sure there were fiery thoughts that accompanied them. 

He sighed biting his bottom lip, " Well. If you must know. As old fashion as it may sound. I'd have to say missionary." Taking a squeeze of your ass.

" Why? " You coyly asked.

" Because I like to be able to look you directly in the eye when I make you come over and over again. The faces you make, always looks like art. Care to be my muse? " He asked taking his hand away from your face to move it along down to your throat.

And with that all you could do was nod before you found yourself on your back, on the couch looking a pretty man in the eye while he gave you pretty amazing orgasms. 

[elizabethplaid]

Grilled cheese with spam for dinner. We're planning to make our kielbasa rice dish tomorrow, using up the last of the chicken sausage.

Wampus is nesting on the cat tree tonight, instead of hanging out on the table. So no glamour shots tonight.

Counseling tomorrow. I was having trouble working through some of the info I've been reading in the "Cutting" book. I saw parallels with my situation, then couldn't quite figure out how I felt about it. Same with learning info about mom lately; just things I didn't understand at the time, because I was young.

Phone-friend asked if it was a good idea to be reading about self-harm when I was feeling down. I think I'm okay, but I'll admit that I'm not tuned-in enough to say that with certainty. Maybe I should pick up "The Body Keeps Score" instead, since the latest goal is about the physical connection. I don't have the intention to harm, but emotions are already on choppy seas.

Remember the fashion trend in the early 2000s, where women had toy-sized dogs in their purse? I think that's how my mom treated her kids. And that my sister is so much older than me, yet mom still had me? Saying she failed us is a bit of an understatement. But also, her neglect and mistreatment wasn't obvious to me for so long. The more I realize, I sorta relive the disappointment.

Hormones are making the emotions feel a bit heavier than usual. I'm tired of feeling so much in my body. I don't have the energy to make myself feel better just yet.

I think I need to let myself dwell in these feelings for awhile. Sit with them, process them, let it ferment and become something new. It's difficult to consciously ponder, so I'm leaning into my stories - working through scenes that appeal to me, then see what insight I can gain from that progress.

Funny enough, the scene I'm working on in my changeling story is the same one I worked on around the beginning of November last year. The scene had shifted from previous plans, and it revealed the start of this journey of reconnecting with my body. I was desperate to have firm pressure applied all over my body, like to be put in between pages of a heavy book and pressed like a flower.

Yeah, same scene but it's shifted again. It's about guilt for things beyond our control, not feeling worthy of love, and the helplessness of someone invalidating the love we are trying to give. All things I've discussed with my counselor before, regarding my mom. I just have to keep chewing this cud, ruminating on things until something comes up.

I was thinking of watching "The Secret Garden" movie from the 90s, if it's on YouTube. I haven't watched a feature length movie in ages, maybe three years or so. Just a thought, since it really shaped my sense of aesthetics since childhood, and Maggie Smith just passed.

[beanieman]

YTTD Cooking Headcanon's

A: Mishima hosts cooking lessons at his home for his students who haven't learned that skill at home. He's also cooked for a few people in his class who seemed like they needed a home made meal.

B: Mai loves baking because it's following exact instructions. Anzu hates baking because it's following exact instructions.

C: Shin somehow burns everything he cooks. He could put something in the oven for ten seconds and it would someone come out black as the night. In the exact opposite direction, Keiji tends to undercook everything.

D: Sara is the one who taught Joe how to cook. He only knew how to make microwave meals before her, which is a fact that Sara is more then happy to bring up.

E: Q-Taro tried to teach Hinako, Kanna, and Gin how to grill, but it somehow ended in a small fire. Turns out it's risky to put people under the age of fifteen next to an open flame. Especially if one of those kids likes fire.

F: Kai usually ends up aging ten years anytime he watches his friends cook. It's so stressful and very hard not to micro manage them.

G: If the painting thing fell through Nao would've worked as a cake decorator. She loves making desserts look nice and seeing the people's faces as they see what she turned a basic cake into.

H: Shunsuke can cook ANYTHING. You give him a recipe and he'll pull it off in a delicious way.

I: Naomichi really likes watching cooking contests, and has been known to judge the contestants for their subpar performance even though he couldn't do any better.

J: Alice's food almost always look really good but tastes really bad. In contrast Reko's food always tastes really good but the appearance would make you think twice about trying it.

K: Ranmaru makes a lot of simple food, but really good simple food. He'll make you the best grilled cheese that you've ever had by a far margin.

[loyaltymoved]

What's a headcanon about Adam you've been dying to share, but haven't yet?

*pulls out my enormous notebook full of headcanons*

I’m glad you ask.

I have so many that I just haven’t shared yet, or I have but they’re buried deep within the caverns of my discord server.

Growing up his mom worked a lot. She was a nurse, so she’d have such long shifts. He had a baby sitter when he was younger, but when he got to a certain age he was pretty self sufficient. He’d come home from school, do his homework, then fix himself dinner. His go to was a grilled cheese sandwich and spaghetti-o’s. He never liked using the stove for the grilled cheese, though. He could never get the bread toasty enough. So what he’d do is stick the whole thing in the toaster, on its side so the cheese won’t melt out the bottom.

Honestly, he was glad to have met John. He just wished that he’d stayed in his life more. He’d begged his mom to reach out. He’d plead with her to call him, to ask him to come visit. He loved when John did come to town. But of course the hunter could never stay long. He would have given anything to have had a dad in his life.

He always wondered growing up what it would be like to have siblings. But he’s honestly glad he was an only child (at least in his household). He would hate to see what he went through happen to anyone else.

He cant sleep on his back. He hates it. It just reminds him of his first death. Laying there with pieces being bitten off of him. He usually sleeps on his side (when he does, any more). On his back just feels too close to death.

While Michael doesn’t need to sleep, Adam will convince him to let them, even just for a little bit. It’s like eating. They don’t need it, but it just feels better.

When Adam and Michael are apart post-series, there’s this pain that starts to radiate through his being if it gets to be too long. They are, quite literally, not complete without each other. And he is in pain when he is not with Michael.

For the time that Michael was in the empty, Adam got a chance to live a normal life. He got a little job, he got an apartment. But he hated it. All of it. It just wasn’t the same. His soul started healing, but it wasn’t… full.

His heaven. His new heaven, is with Michael. Little moments. Like the diner, or a shared conversation. But he knows it’s fake, that it’s not the real Michael, just due to the fact that he knows exactly how Michael’s grace feels in his body. Where it settles, how the heat flows, everything.

He’s good at calming Michael down, and Michael is the only one that can calm him down.

[minorhoursmagazine]

Issue 29, containing: Housekeeping (Nondiagetic), An Interesting Method for Skimming Wax, Some Advice for Those Seeking the Northwest Passage, A Partial Guide to Avoiding Casual Poisonings, Letters, Commonplaces, &c.

------------------------------

SOME EDITORIAL NOTES

A new year, and here we are. Welcome. There's fresh bread from the oven, with which I have just eaten a slathering of local maple butter, and with which I will later make a deeply hedonistic grilled cheese.

I will attempt to keep my concentration on the writing of these articles, rather than the promise of dairy yet to come.

------------------------------

HOUSEKEEPING (NONDIAGETIC)

I sometimes think about the inaccuracy of the subtitle of this microzine-- which, if you'd rather not stare too closely at the miniature text in the header, reads in part:

"a newsletter of miscellany, fiction, and art"

(I am omitting my name from the subtitle, as, if I had my druthers, I would not list a name at all, but rather credit this whole venture to an anonymous collective of Editors bravely trying to rein in an errant essayist who seems hellbent on style over substance.)

(Also I have been reliably informed that I should, quote, "get over it.")

Of the numerous things currently annoying me about the subtitle, above and beyond naming conventions, there is also the use of the terms "newsletter," "fiction," and "art."

("Miscellany" may survive the cull, because it is both accurate and also a pleasant word to say.)

(Miscellany. Mys-cell-aye-nie. It looks like Arkham might loom behind it while the scent of salt and cold brine inexorably rises in a grey and creeping mist.)

"Newsletter" is doesn't feel right, though I haven't quite determined what might be closer. "Fiction," regardless of the actual content of some of these articles, doesn't feel accurate either. And "art," even assuming a gentle reader might deem my photographs as such, was always a stretch.

And so while the header remains as it is for the moment, a change is on the wind. I've been spending an even greater amount of time than usual reading through the older magazines and publications that The Minor Hours seeks to emulate, and, to the Editors' horror, I must confess that the feral urge to use the word "diuerse" grows stronger by the day.

------------------------------

AN INTERESTING METHOD FOR SKIMMING WAX

As long-time readers may recall, part of my overall journey toward kitchen witchery and experimental archaeology has involved finding and working out the recipes behind historical foods, cosmetics, and home goods.

The most recent of these that exist within the "fairly complete now, thank you" category is the recipe I've worked out for a pomatum suitable for the lips, variants of which I've found in several old scanned and OCR'd texts, with the mid-1600s being the earliest occurrence so far (and somehow involving-- grapes?) and the latest appearing in and around the 1710s.

I would share that recipe but, sadly, I have done so elsewhere; instead, let me share a stranger revelation: the matter of wax, and its cleanup.

One batch of this pomatum requires an ounce of beeswax. I have lately been made aware that beeswax is not a grease, and therefore dish soap has no power over it; it is also not a fat, but woe be to those who seek to pour it down a drain, lest it solidify just as much as a fat might when cooled.

Following the recommendations of those who have come before me in the modern age, I have instead tried to boil the wax off of whatever objects they come in contact with. This works-- to a degree. Since the wax does not magically disappear, I can at best only transfer the wax from one object (my pomatum-making tools) to another (the large pot I found at the thrift store and am sacrificing for the greater good to the wax gods).

There is, however, an intermediary step: skimming.

As the wax melts in the boiling pot, it leaves its moorings and floats to the top of the heated water. From there, a small mesh strainer, as one would use to hoist out a dumpling or, indeed, skim the top of some liquid creation, can be used in a nice repetitive manner to remove the majority of the melted wax.

--Or.

I found, as I skimmed, that I wasn't truly gathering everything. I knew this to be the case because using the strainer was actually my second attempt at collecting wax. The first was the slow but incredibly effective method I found while hunting around to begin with: that of the Cold Metal Spoon.

Take a metal spoon and, in its bowl, set an ice cube (or however many should fit in it). The metal now instantly chilled, draw the back of the spoon across the top of the hot, waxy water. The wax, hitting the cold spoon, will immediately cool and cling to the metal, allowing you to collect far more wax that the mesh strainer managed.

As a demonstration, behold:

Fig. 1. The back of an as-yet-unwaxed spoon.

Fig. 2. Spoon avec ice.

Fig. 3. Besmirched!

Fig. 4. The lady, half revealed.

I am, overall, extremely pleased with this method, and only seek now to find a significantly larger metal ladle.

------------------------------

SOME ADVICE FOR THOSE SEEKING THE NORTHWEST PASSAGE

Pack a compass.*

* While the pointing Hand of Franklin† has been listed under "Preferred Equipment," it will not be available for the foreseeable future.‡

† No note was made of the properties of the non-capitalized hand of Franklin, and it is therefore excluded from these pages.

‡ This is largely because the body of John Franklin§ is also not available for the foreseeable future.

§ Further, it should be made clear that the Hand of Franklin, regardless of its present location, would be contaminated with lead, botulism, and possibly toothmarks, none of which have been found to be reliable aids to navigation.

------------------------------

A PARTIAL GUIDE TO AVOIDING CASUAL POISONINGS

With the success of the lip pomatum, I've found myself eager to explore historical recipes further. This leads, unfortunately, to two additional concerns: (1) determining the modern-day equivalent of various ingredients, and (2) ensuring that those same ingredients are not, in fact, poisonous.

[Interestingly, the tertiary concern of "is it legal to seek out or possess these ingredients" does not appear to have made this list. -Eds.]

Even the pomatum itself required some of this research.

Fig. 5. A recipe containing two bad ideas and one very good way to explode a fine mist of wax over one's entire kitchen.

Of the bad ideas, let it be said that:

Fresh butter was an English addition to this receipt. The original French listed sweet almond oil, which contains significantly less likelihood of poisoning the users of the pomatum through molds, bacteria, and the general horror of applying butter to one's face.

Orcanet required some study, but revealed itself to be an older spelling of alkanet, or what we now might purchase under the name alkanet root, Alkanna tinctoria, or ratan jot. While it is a popular colorant for the makers of "natural" cosmetics, there is some concern regarding what happens to the livers of people who ingest it, and it therefore seems unwise to include in a lip balm.

(Hilariously, the receipt itself only lists orcanet as necessary for thickening-- and assuming that that was the case, I replaced it with powdered arrowroot and went about my business. However, in researching alkanet, I didn't see any particular mention of thickening properties... but I did see that while in alkaline solutions, alkanet turns blue, in acidic solutions -- such as any that might contain orange-flower water and sweet almond oil -- it turns a lovely shade of crimson.)

(But it was included in this receipt only, of course, for thickening.)

Of the good way to explode one's kitchen, let it be said:

An important lesson can be learned regarding the application of room-temperature hydrosols to a wax-and-oil mix heated to somewhere above 145 degrees Fahrenheit.

The lesson is "don't."

------------------------------

LETTERS

Received by the Magazine via a Dream, Probably, "On the Subject of Mountains":

To the Editors:

While we acknowledge your appropriate appreciation of our regality [Issue 28, "Regarding Mountains" - Eds.], we wish you to know that we of course hold a deep interest in the termination of human lives. We merely do not feel the need to be as obvious about it as our young neighbors to the east. Murder is folded into our orogeny. We cordially invite you to visit again any time to explore further.

Sincerely,

The White Mountains

******

From the Editors, to The White Mountains, "We Had to Look Up the Word 'Orogeny'":

The Editors would like to humbly, and from a distance, like to apologize for continuing to think of you as the Green Mountains, due to the unfortunate necessities of nomenclature and the observances of faith required by certain large and bloodthirsty deities previously referenced.

Having now completed the niceties, we would also like to relate that we have been reliably informed that our mountains are stronger, more shredded, and could kick all your asses if you were inclined to meet in the parking lot after school.

We trust that this letter meets you in good health and with kind regards, -The Editors

******

Received by the Magazine through Diuerse Worrying Methods, "As It Pertains to Sleeping in New Places":

Dear Editors:

Please accept our apologies re: the moving of everything to the Wrong Place. [Issue 28, "Sleeping in New Places" - Eds.] AirBnB guests keep moving things, and we hate it. Our malevolence is restricted only to them, not to guests of the family.

Telekinetically yours,

The Ghosts of the House

******

From the Editors, to The Ghosts of the House, "Ghost Are Often Memories, Accessed in Ways Both Strange and Humbling":

The Editors have cause to remember other guests in the House-- of which one, more kin to you than the others, decided to wander to the familial cemetery to visit a little while with the dead. It was dark out, and the land rolling underfoot, and they declined a lantern for the way.

Being of a narrative inclination, this struck the Editors unwise; being sadly entrenched in a world that rarely requires the services of the genre-savvy, we can only assume that that which returned from the graves matched in all particulars the person who had left.

It is wise, sometimes, to let the ghosts have their way with things, and to have a healthy respect for howsoever they might wish to conduct their business. To that end the Editors would like to assure the Ghosts of the House that they felt as welcome as any traveler could hope, and that they very definitely won't report any strange activities their Kin might engage in of a ghost-like or alternately-revenant nature.

------------------------------

COMMONPLACES

From Jessica Hayworth, "story about a lake I did recently":

>>Woman: A LAKE OPENED UP INSIDE MY CHEST. >> Woman: I THOUGHT WOW, THAT'S NEW. NEVER HAD A BODY OF WATER IN ME BEFORE.

******

From Jessica Hayworth, "story about a lake I did recently":

>>Interviewer: DID YOU HAVE TO INVITE IT INSIDE? >>Woman: I DON'T THINK A LAKE ASKS PERMISSION. >>Interviewer: [laughing] NO. NO IT PROBABLY DOESN'T. >>Woman: [laughing] IMAGINE THAT. >>Both: "HELLO I AM YOUR LAKE. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN YOUR LAKE. >>Both: "OPEN UP PLEASE. OPEN." >>Both: "OPEN SESAME."

------------------------------

ANNOUNCEMENTS

I'm going over-long as it is, but it should be noted that there are New Tiers on the Patreon, which I will probably talk about at some point. I make no promises as to when, however, because time is a lie.

Welcome to 2023. I'm going to go make a grilled cheese.

******

If you would like to write a letter to be produced/answered in the magazine, please email me at minor.hours.magazine@gmail.com with the subject line:

Letter to the Magazine: [subject of letter as you would like to see it printed]

If you wish the letter to be anonymous or under a nom de plume, please state so in the body of the email; similarly, if you'd rather not be printed at all, please also state so in the body of the email. It will otherwise be assumed that mail sent to that address is intended for print.

Alternately, commenting on the Patreon post will get you a similar result, with much less fuss.

******

As always, you can find me at my regular website, katherinecrighton.com, or sometimes via twitter, at @c_katherine.

To support the magazine and get it delivered directly to your inbox, join the Patreon.

-Until next week, be safe.

[purplesurveys]

1818

Do you put anything besides cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches? I don't have a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches in the first place...so I like to stick by just the standard recipe.

Do you suffer from headaches caused by caffeine-withdrawal? I do, actually. I used to think it was just work-induced headaches, but at some point I realized it was probably the lack of caffeine when my head would ache even when I've barely gotten any work done yet.

When consuming a beverage that comes in a can, do you prefer to drink it directly from the can or do you pour it into a cup?  I have it straight from the can.

Are there times when you think your reflection looks amazing, but you take a picture & it looks like crap?  Not really. I can usually tell from the get-go if my reflection alone already looks like shit and from there I usually wouldn't want to get my photo taken haha.

What do you do to cure a headache? I drink water, take a painkiller, and take a few minutes to stop looking at a screen. If I have time I'll walk around the house first and cuddle with the dogs to calm down.

Have you ever used picnik.com?  I'm pretty sure I did.

Do you still possess any belongings from your childhood? Do they hold some special significance?  I still have most of my childhood books and magazines, especially since a large portion of them came from my dad as gifts/pasalubong from when he'd come home from his work in the States.

Would you rather sit in a recliner or a rocking chair?  Recliner. Rocking chairs make me dizzy hahaha.

Do you have any cards from restaurants that you get stamped every time you visit, & after a certain number of purchases you get a free meal / drink?  I had a few before, but I didn't go to them often enough to make good use of the cards.

When it comes to books, what do you think is the “perfect” amount of pages?  Eh, it depends on the plot and how the story flows and such. I will say I'll probably lose interest from a book that's over 1,000 pages though.

Do you take advantage of calendars being on sale during the end of January, or do you just buy them for their regular price when they first come out?  Neither. I don't get physical calendars.

If you have a Facebook, do you ever set yourself to offline mode just to avoid one particular person?  I've been offline for like the last 10 years, but I also don't even think this matters anymore in this age.

Would you ever be interested in going scuba diving?  Maybe just once, then never again.

Have you ever absent-mindedly [or even intentionally] pulled apart the aglets [plastic at the end] on your shoelaces / hoodie & ruined the lace?  I haven't done this but I did recently ruin an aglet for one of my shoes. I was jumping too hard at the Seventeen concert, never noticed I was stepping on my shoelaces which had come undone by that point, and by the time I got home that's when I saw that my laces had completely lost their tips :(

Out of all of your friends / relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? Andi writes exceptionally well, and can write anything from essays to eulogies to poems to reviews.

When you are out of your house, where do you usually store your cell phone? I hold on to it at all times.

Do you ever use natural lighting to light your house [aka open the blinds] rather than use a lamp?  I use a lamp. I don't like natural light for the most part because the sun where I live is way too harsh, and the more light you let in the more hot it feels.

Are any of your fingers or toes deformed? What about the nails?  My left pinky is a little crooked.

When yawning, do you cover your mouth?  Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.

If you had a garden, what would you plant in it? Would you actually tend to it, or would it wind up neglected & withered?  I would not own a garden and just convert the space into something else lol.

What is a hobby / activity that you find relaxing? Is this something you often get the chance to do?  Well there's surveys, but I also like going to museums and painting. Painting I'm trying to go back to more and more these days; as far as museums, I try to go to one at least once every few months.

Are there any eyeshadow shades that simply do not look good on you?  Idk, all of them? Hahaha I'm not a big fan of makeup.

Do you think cable / satellite is worth paying for when things like Netflix & Hulu exist?  Not anymore. We got rid of cable four years ago because we're constantly on our subscription services now.

If you were in a room with no escape for twenty minutes, which of the following smells would you more easily be able to tolerate [& you’re not allowed to cover your mouth / nose or anything!] - bleach, cigarette smoke, heavy perfume, skunk, vomit.  I'll take either the perfume or cigarette.

Do you think greeting cards are a waste of money? For me, yeah. Where I'm from they're not all that common, and we'd much rather talk to the person in person instead of sending them a card lol.

[marmiteprinter]

The next morning was Sunday so it was another day off for Frost. He really had a craving for grilled cheese so he started the morning off by whipping up a large batch of grilled cheese sandwiches.

Next thing on the agenda was inviting Emma over and getting down on one knee.

"Emma Allen, nothing would make me happier in this world than if you were to marry me," he said as he pulled out a ring. "Would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

Of course, she said yes! She moved in straight away and brought with her approximately §7000 in funds.

Emma's Traits Zodiac: Aquarius Aspiration: Family/Fortune LTW: Reach Golden Anniversary Personality: Neat 5, Outgoing 5, Active 3, Playful 6, Nice 6 Hobby: Cuisine (Baking) Sexuality: Bisexual (Like all my townies!) Current Age: 20

That evening, they sat in the kitchen and ate their first meal together as an engaged couple - grilled cheese sandwiches.

And of course, they celebrated their engagement by Woohooing in what was now their bed that night.

The season changed that night so the round came to an end. Here's a photo of the newly-engaged couple! It has a greenish tint, like every photo I take in Frost's lounge, thanks to the cauldron in the corner!

At the end of this round, Frost is 22 and Emma is 21. They haven't unlocked anything for the town but that's fine!

Onto the final family for Round 8 - the Phillips-Volden family!

[babybunnybushride]

Hot Gay Vampire Orgy: A Play

[An archaeologist is fucking around in a vampire castle.]

Archaeologist [sarcastically]: O no, I sure hope a vampire doesn't randomly pop out of nowhere and jumpscare me causing me to shit my pants...

[A vampire appears.]

Vampire: Bleh bleh! I am ze vampire of zees castle! I vant to suck your blood!

A: Wait a fucking minute, how the fuck do you know English? According to every historical record ever: at no point have you left this castle.

V [in a posh accent now]: Well, you see, I use Skillshare. Skillshare is an online learning community to help you learn the skills you need but don't normally have the time to acquire. Being locked up in a castle for centuries gives one time to reflect on the time they wasted laying in a coffin all day. Skillshare helped me learn English, finally install toilets in this filthy hellhole, and cook up a frankly bitchin' grilled cheese sandwich! Use the code "UwUSuckMyBloodHarderDaddy" and get a grand total of 69 days of Skillshare Premium for free today! It's the deal of the century!"

A: What the fuck was that about?

V: I got a hefty sponsorship from them.

A: Pog. Anyways, can I just steal all your shit?

V: Hell no! That's my shit! That's like me coming into your house and stealing your Nintendo and banging your wife!

A: I use Reddit.

V: Ah, I see. That's like me coming into your house and stealing your Nintendo! Just for that I'm going to suck your blood!

A: There's something else you could suck.

V: O yeah? And just what might that be?

A: My dick.

V: I'm sorry, what?

A: I'm just saying, I had to walk here because the train was stolen as soon as I crossed the Romanian border. I haven't jacked off in ages and am horny as hell. Some hot gay vampire sex would be nice.

V: I see what your saying, but my penis is withered from centuries of lying dormant.

A: Well, you could suck mine.

V: I would, but...

A: But what?

V: I'm really in the mood for an orgy right now.

A: I understand. An orgy wouldn't be too bad right now.

V: But how are we going to get enough people for an orgy?

A: Two words: Face, Book

V: Capital idea! Right this way to the computer, sir!

[They walk to the computer in the adjacent room]

A: Now all I have to post is this: "Hot vampire orgy happening at that one castle with the vampire. RSVP if interested. Serious inquiries only."

V: Perfect, now post it!

A [posting it]: Done! Now to let the RSVPs roll in!

SpongeBob timecard guy: 69 hours later...

V: God damn, why aren't people interested?

[There is a ping at the computer.]

A: Hey, someone's interested!

V: Groovy! Who is it?

A: Their profile says they're a stingray.

V: What the fuck is a stingray?

A: It's a weird, flat fish that sting you.

V: Oof.

Stingray [on computer]: hey

A [on computer]: hey

Stingray: u said vampire orgy right?

A: yes

S: vampires can bring people back from the ded right?

A: no

S: fuck i wanted steve irwin to be there

A: y?

S: i tried raping him but i got my dick and tail mixed up

A: what? you stabbed him in the chest

S: i got his vagina and chest mixed up

A: he didn't have a vagina

S: i got his vagina and asshole mixed up

A: pls stop

S: as if i wanted to come to your f***y orgy anyway! keep trying asswipes!

V [irl]: That went well.

A: Shut the fuck up, bitch. How the hell are we supposed to have an orgy now?

[There's a knock on the door.]

A & V: A GUY TO FUCK!?

[They run to the door and open it. Outside is a policeman.]

Policeman: Hi, I'm just letting you know that orgies are illegal here.

A: O.

V: But are threesomes?

P: Technically not, no.

V: Would you like to have a threesome with us?

P: O HELL YEAH!

A: O right, threesomes are just mini orgies! How could I forget?

[alphonseelriic]

Hi Sofia! ❤️ How is it going? Sorry I'm a little late! So much to do and so tired recently 🥲

Hope you enjoyed a bit of your free time!! When are you done done with finals? 👀

Gonna confess, Im a glutton for food so always happy to hear people talk about their fav food too 😆. I know pannettone!! But I've only tried the Italian version, not sure how different they are (but I'm also sure the homemade ones are always the best!). Do you cook/bake too? :O I love empanadas too but I think I only know the fried ones! I had to Google the other two, BUT Locro looks so hearty to have omg and the alfajores looks so soft and good?! I wanna try them! 🤤 Just talking about it makes me so hungry right now... I do hope you'll get to eat all your favs this holiday season!!

Hmm I like a lot of different food too! And trying different countries food is always exciting to me so I like a little of everything. My favs is usually Japanese dishes or asian ones but specifically—I LOVE duck (the chinese ones in particular but also the seared foie gras), grilled meat 😅, sushi, udon (noodles are usually always a win), korean fried chicken or karaage. Randomly, I also like al pastor tacos, a good sandwich (roast beef is my go to ^^ ), samosas, hot pot, most potato things, cheese in general esp. gouda or goat!... I'll stop now hahaha. Btw do you have any favorite drinks?

Aww Im glad you enjoyed getting to where you are now! Asjdkkdd I'm not sure if my field fits me, there's definitely times I question it but it's what I do for now 😂😭.

The books—I'm familiar with the first few (jane austen books we had to read those in school!) but not the rest so I'll have to look it up sometime!! I had no ides howls moving castle was also a book! I'm sad to hear reading for uni took away reading for fun 😭. I honestly haven't picked up a book in ages so I feel this tho. These days I just read fanfics, I wonder if you were ever into those? 👀

Ahhh please!! I too love a lot of the scenes you picked as a fav! OMG AL 😭 you make me want to do a rewatch again of fmab...and the train scene with ed/winry and that line he says totally has my heart. AND THE MOB PARTS!! When the OST came on for both of those scenes? It was the most perfect beautiful ones and that song is one of my favs! That's when I knew I /loved Mp100 haha. HQ ahh so many good moments right...hinata growing is always so heartwarming, but so are the rest of them 😭. Honestly I want to rewatch hq like at least every year LOL... the sxf ones too, I love bond and I didn't expect to love Damien but it's growing. You picked such great favs ahh, let's see what Santa can do with those. 😉

Btw I haven't mentioned this yet, but went through your edits and you have such pleasant sets. So I want to ask! Do you have a favorite kind of style either that others make or that you lean towards? What inspires you to create?

Thank you for indulging me again and talk soon!!

- Animanga 🎅

So nice to see you again, secret santa ❤️ please don't apologize!! I hope you're doing well despite everything you need to do :')

My last final was the 6th, so I'm already on vacations for a while! I'm actually with my family at the beach rn hahahaha

Heh I totally get you! I honestly have no idea if there's a difference between italian panettone and the one we eat here 🤔 Empanadas can be either fried or oven baked!! They have a lot of variations between each southamerican country, in places like Colombia for example they always eat them fried, but here it's more common to have them baked as far as I know! Yeah locro is really comforting, carefully crafted to eat during winter >:) the tradition is eating it on may 25th, one of our two patriotic dates. Alfajores are heavenly!! I'm pretty sure they aren't very easy to find in other countries but if you ever stumble upon them and you're craving something sweet, I couldn't recommend them enough!

My mom is a baker that works from home (studied it professionally and all) but I admit I'm not much of a baker/cook myself 😅 I do enjoy cooking and if I'm given a detailed recipe there's a good chance I'll do mostly good, but for some reason I'm not very drawn to the kitchen. I do want to start cooking more tho, I just don't have much initiative. What about you?

Ooohh I think I've never tried duck now that I think about it 🤔 I want to try it now!! I haven't had the chance to try a big amount of asian dishes but I loved the ones I did try <3 i also love sushi and noodles!! Ohh korean fried chicken sounds delicious! I went to a korean food fair a few weeks ago with some friends and my favorite were the tteokbokki and the bulgogi 🤤

Oh I also adore tacos and anything with potato and cheese in it LMAOOO honestly idk if i have favorite drinks, I mostly like cappuccino and hot cocoa. When it comes to cold drinks, I'm fine with water or diet coke. I also like freshly squeezed orange juice 🧡

Oh you read Jane Austen for school?? Lucky you! We didn't read anything remotely similar in my high school, and then in uni my english literature teacher didn't like her books so we didn't read them 😭 I ended up reading pride and prejudice for another completely different class later on, and now I'm reading sense and sensibility by myself!

Oh I do read some fanfics from time to time, but definitely not with the consistency most people on fandoms do. Once in a blue moon I get obsessed with a character or a ship during like one evening and then spend the rest of the night searching for fanfics. I have bad luck at finding ones that actually catch my attention so I don't do it often.

HAHAHA I'm glad you liked the scenes I chose! Resisting the temptation to rewatch fmab is a constant struggle really 😖 same for Haikyuu! Oh yeah mob's soundtrack also takes the cake, wouldn't be the same without it 💕 Damien also grew a lot in me! His crush on Anya is so adorable. Can't wait to see what Santa does ;)

Awww thank you! My edits mean a lot to me so I'm very happy you like them �� ohh that's such a hard question!! I find all editing styles or technics to be great on their own right, but I personally lend more towards gifs and graphics with soft colors, with subtle patterns and textures, carefully put together quotes and well placed panels! Maybe my explanation is a bit abstract so these are some examples:

https://at.tumblr.com/alphonseelriic/romancegifs-romancegifs-10k-followers-celebration/u4wogp3dgfbe

https://at.tumblr.com/alphonseelriic/meqistus-look-at-me-i-will-never-pass-for-a/gbfxrdxw73fz

https://at.tumblr.com/alphonseelriic/mazusu-assassination-its-the-family-trade-we/6o0wy6grzd58

https://at.tumblr.com/alphonseelriic/suzouyas-grand-king-oikawa-tooru-%E5%8F%8A%E5%B7%9D-%E5%BE%B9-for/891elmqmjv49

Obviously this doesn't mean I don't like sets with stronger or vibrant colors!! As long as there's harmony between them, any color combos will be great :') I also love gifsets with big, clear and crispy gifs! You see a lot of them now that tumblr has updated their size limit lol

What inspires me to create is mostly the process, which I usually enjoy a lot (unless I'm creatively stuck, then not so much hahaha). I also love looking at other's creations and seeing if I can make something as beautiful! The challenges from animangacreators are also very helpful when I wanna make something and I don't know what ;)

That was a very nice talk!! See you again soon, my santa ❤️

[overnightheartbeats]

"Depends if Texas makes me miss work too much," he offered in a nonchalant tone, though Isaac knew they were both aware what the duration of his stay depended on. Especially now, after his news. He meant to visit, check in on him, give him shit for ignoring his messages, then probably catch a Rangers or Astros game. Just an opportunity to hang out before fatherhood became his life. Clearly, Isaac's initial plans had shifted significantly. A loud laugh erupted from his lips, "I'm good at my craft. I might be willing to teach her, but I charge for an audience."

Isaac liked to believe that he knew Eli pretty well, more than most people at least. With that in mind, he knew he couldn't take his words at face value. That Eli was okay, or trying. He suspected he was holding himself together for her, and while that was a noble thing to do, and something he admired greatly, Isaac knew that left him little or no room to himself. Besides, his eyes communicated more than he was willing to say at the moment. So, now he was glad he took that time off and that he decided to come here. Being there for Eli was the least he could do, he had done the same for him countless times. "I'm here then. It's a terrible and emotional situation, and I'm here to help, you or her. However. She needs you, sure, but you also need someone to lean on. Yeah, I can't imagine what's running through her mind right now, but it's not anyone's fault and there's no way you can make her feel guilty just by showing your emotions." He shook his head, feeling majorly unprepared for this. But, well life rarely prepares you for anything. "Yeah, I'll stay. Don't worry. I'm hilarious, I'll prepare my best jokes."

He returned his smile, watching how his friend reverted back to their banter. The comfortable space. Surely easier than talking about what was gnawing at him. "Finesse, that's good. Well, do not worry. I'm reporting for duty, all three meals are on me. I'll even print out a little menu for you." Isaac winced at the hotel description, worse than Motel 6? God, that was a low point. "Texas loses points the more we talk. Ugh. Dirty bedsheets, where does it end?" He noticed the look Eli threw his way, and he could only grin in return. He was caught, of course he'd be. Again, knew him too well. "I'd argue I'm the hotter version of you, but sure yeah. Okay yeah, I was basically pushed out to have a few days. Was told I should enjoy some sunshine and piña coladas. Mostly because I haven't taken time in ages, but also, the last mission went on longer than planned. It was supposed to be a simple extraction out in Uzbekistan. Details..things obviously go differently, the usual." Now he geared the conversation back to their more lighthearted topic. Revisiting his workload was not something he looked forward to. "I have the sunshine though, this state is an oven and the piña coladas, well I can get that anywhere."

Of course, he hadn't had food. Could Isaac be surprised? Not really. "Come on," he nudged him in an attempt to get him off the couch. "Dude, chores will still be here. They're not going anywhere." It seemed obvious, and he felt stupid asking, but he did so anyway. "She's not here right now, is she?" If so, had he just been laughing in their apartment without a care in the world? Talk about impertinence. "I'll help you with the rest of your to-do list. After we eat. Well, what do you have in your fridge?" Isaac didn't waste any time to walk into his kitchen and rummage through drawers and his fridge. "I mean, you have some stuff. Right now, it's looking like a decent pasta, chicken alfredo maybe. Or, could whip up some breakfast food for dinner. Grilled cheese if we want something quick. Your fridge is not providing much at the moment, I'm taking a trip to the store tomorrow." He began taking items out, placing them on the countertop. Items he could use for more than one recipe.

"Depends on what?" he asked, head shooting up in his direction as he laid the other blanket he had folded on top of the most recent one. "No one can do them like you can. She's tried many times but your lap dances can't be replicated. Show her how it's done and how I like it."

The way Issac said right now, he knew all too well how that went. He wanted to make sure that Eli was okay which as things were going right now, that'd be a big fat no. He was not okay, he wasn't even close to being okay or handling it well. Crystal greens looked up and shook his head. He could lie and say he was really fine. But doing that he knew Issac would give him shit for it. A heavy sigh escaped him as chewed the inside of his cheek. "I want you here. It's just a merry around of fine and I don't know how much more I can take of it without having to break down in front of her. The last thing I want to do is make her feel guilty because you and I both know she's thinking that right now. She's somehow let me down because this is our second one who's gone poof. So, for me? Please stay. You can tell her one of your jokes and see if you're really as funny as you think you are."

He nodded his head and smiled knowing he had gotten his way. "Gotta make it happen one way or another. Who has the cooking skills that'd rival yours? Literally no one." he laughed, "Actually stayed in one a year ago. That one made the Motel 6 look like the Hilton. Bed sheets were dirty, I think one of the beds had a cumstain so that was really great start for us." Eli gave him a you've got to be kidding me look. "I know you. You don't just take days off. You're made to have them. You're me basically. What was your last mission about?"

He checked his watch that lit up when his hand moved and shook his head. "I haven't, not yet. I wasn't sure what I should do. Finished laundry thirty minutes ago and changed the bedsheets and took the trash out." Before Laurel left he remembered that he should toss most of the nursery things and put them out back where he'd take them to a shelter later in the week. "But I could eat. What are you thinking of making?"

[infinityactual]

18, 20, and 48 for Johnsky?

Ooh, good ones. I tend to ramble so answers under the cut!

18: Who cooks?

Well, that depends. If it's baking-cooking, John does that. Tom inherited his dad's 'burns store bought cookies' gene. John also just enjoys baking in general, he does everything by hand and follows recipes to the letter. That and the end result being some form of delicious carbs gives him a sense of accomplishment that's different from 'I completed the mission'. Especially when he gets to use icing to make something pretty like a cake or iced cookies.

Lasky on the other hand does the regular cooking. Cadmon had a tendency to live off of grilled cheese sandwiches when they were kids and Tom got tired of that real fast. He started making his own sandwiches and opting out of Cad's 'burnt plastic bricks' by the time he was six or seven, and started to pick up actual cooking with the stove at around ten. He found he enjoyed it, and over the years has become an accomplished cook. He doesn't often cook fancy dishes, mostly sticking to simple comfort foods.

20: Who said 'I love you' first?

Tom did. I still haven't decided if it was a case of 'got emotional and just blurted it out' or 'I have issues and I can't say it, but I HAVE to because he needs to know and I need to quit lying to myself'. I feel like John and Tom both have some very deep-seated issues when it comes to getting attached to others. While John will do everything in his power to protect those he loves, Tom is sort of the opposite. Also, and I'm not sure how to get this idea across accurately, but I feel like John like....he knows what love is but as the same time he doesn't. And I don't think it would occur to him to express any sort of romantic affection by saying as much. Like...I feel like there's a disconnect between him seeing others express affection and the fact that the affection he feels for Blue Team and Cortana and later Tom are all the same. Also, ya boi does not words very well.

As for Tom, he lost Cadmon and Chyler in quick succession at the age of fifteen. Cadmon got gibbed by a mortar, and Chyler bled out internally and died in Tom's arms. Whether you subscribe to the Budding Romance thing or not, she was on of the first people besides Cadmon to have any sort of faith in Tom and support him, and as soon as that relationship was established, he lost her. Tom tends to get to a point where he subconsciously realizes he's become really close with someone and sort of 'hits a wall' where he'll find any and every excuse to say he isn't really that attached to them and has unintentionally torpedoed pretty much every stable relationship he's ever had. Over time he's become aware of that tendency, but it's still difficult to overcome and Sarah is the first person he's let himself have as a close friend and fellow soldier in decades. And that's probably equal parts Sarah making sure he knows she has his back without a doubt and not letting him keep her at arm's length and Tom consciously making an effort to just let himself care for someone on that level. But with John, that trauma has Tom by the throat for a good while because John is inexorably tied to the events of Circinus, and also has a habit of, y'know, nuking himself and suchlike. So it's much more difficult for Tom to come to grips with his emotions.

48: What're their favorite TV shows?

I don't have any like...show titles or anything, just concepts. There this sort of 'slice of life' Martian soap that Lasky really likes that I imagine to be equal parts Friends and Golden Girls, and John is FASCINATED by it and shows like it. He gets invested in the story and the relationships bc it's just so alien and yet so familiar to him, so he often ends up trying to figure out how all the pieces fit together...and those classic absolutely insane daytime tv plot twists really throw him. Aside from that, I haven't given it much in-depth though, so ty for asking!

[lia-jones]

hello again, lia! i hope your week has been smooth so far (❁´◡`❁) i am back (after a few busy days) to ask you more questions! also, i don't know if i've ever mentioned this before, but i just wanted to let you know that if any of my questions are ever invasive/you don't feel comfortable answering, feel free to leave them out and/or let me know!

now on to the questions: 1. you mentioned a spinoff to the growing pains series you're working on right now 👀 can you give any hints about what it's about without spoiling the story? 2. what's your hogwarts house? (if you know it) 3. what's the longest friendship you've ever experienced? 4. fast food or home cooked food? if fast food, what's your favorite outlet? and if home cooked food, what's your favorite meal to make? 5. how do you go about writing situations that you've never been in/experienced? 6. if you had to remain a certain age forever, what age would that be? (physically ageing still occurs!) 7. if you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

that's all i could think of for now! i hope you have a fantastic weekend! goodbye for now!

- 🌸 anon

Hello there! So nice to see you! Oh don't worry about the questions, I'm mostly an open book (thanks to the internet's wide sea of anonymity) and mostly I don't mind sharing. I always think someone can relate and take some lesson/comfort from it. If that's the case, the little exposure will surely be worth it. Now to the questions:

1. you mentioned a spinoff to the growing pains series you're working on right now 👀 can you give any hints about what it's about without spoiling the story? Ok, so I have spoken about this spinoff a while ago, with a new OC, but in the meantime, it has grown and progressed inside my head. I can tell you it's another version of my AU, basically what would happen if Andrea hadn't come to Loveland when she did. The first part is called All Sinners Go to Heaven. My aim in this spinoff is to focus more on the politics of Evol, and how evil (and good) people can be in the face of war. Those who read my story already will recognize many aspects of it in this one, but, with a twist. Since reality isn't the same as in the Growing Pains series, neither will be the characters, but my favourite theme prevails: to find light in the darkness and to work it until it shines brighter.

2. what's your hogwarts house? (if you know it)

I took the test just to answer your question. XD So, according to the Sorting Hat in wizardingworld.com I am.... (drumroll) A Gryffindor! This is kind of unexpected. I always saw myself as a Ravenclaw or maybe even a Slytherin, but hey! Who am I to contradict the Sorting Hat! Gryffindor it is! :D

3. what's the longest friendship you've ever experienced?

Ok, so, in my life, I never stayed at the same place for long, so it's hard to keep a long friendship. Although I can tell you I have friends from many years back, some of them I haven't spoken to for years, but I bet if I met them now nothing between us would have changed. I guess my oldest steadiest friend is in fact, my husband. And I don't say this because I am married to him. He really is my best friend. And I bet that even if we got divorced, that would never change. Our solid friendship is really one of the big foundations in our marriage, and maybe why we still have it going after 14 years. :D

4. fast food or home cooked food? if fast food, what's your favorite outlet? and if home cooked food, what's your favorite meal to make?

I love them both, but my choice would always be homecooked. It's cheaper, healthier and more to my taste. My favorite comfort meals to make are grilled cheese sandwiches (fried egg on top because I love eggs) and steaks with cream and mushroom sauce, fries on the side! Oh and a good BLT with creamy tomato soup. YUM.

5. how do you go about writing situations that you've never been in/experienced?

Well, usually I do a lot of reading about it, and then I try to picture myself doing it. I focus mostly on the sensorial things, how does it feel like, where is it uncomfortable, how does it smell, how does my body respond to it.

6. if you had to remain a certain age forever, what age would that be? (physically ageing still occurs!)

Ok, so mentally... I think my current age actually (I'm turning 40 this year). I'm wise enough to know what matters and what doesn't, I still have enough energy to fight for new goals, and I finally know exactly who I am. Wisdom does come with age, if one is smart enough to learn from it, and you learn how to use your time better, with whom to use it, who deserves you. This was a lesson I wish I had learned much sooner, but then again, if I didn't go through all I have gone through, I wouldn't have learned.

7. if you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Ok, so the smart answer to this question would probably be the winning lottery numbers for this week! :D But I have to admit that, even knowing this would be a good question, I still don't see myself asking it to my future self. Honestly, I think I would ask if it is still worth it for her. If life is still relevant and if it still pays off to keep going. Not that I don't think it is, but it is important for me to be meaningful. One of my biggest fears is to go through the motions without making a single change (hopefully for the better) in this world.

I loved your questions, you are so very brilliant and insightful! I'd love to ask you some questions myself! I hope I keep seeing you in my inbox, drop by as much as you want! Lots of love and have a wonderful week!

[bigbox141]

Bathroom Thoughts EP3: Memes Are Like Cheese

Hey fellas, I'm back from a much needed mental break! Speaking of breaks, I went for a bathroom break and some contemplation led to some confusion, and that confusion led to a thought. It was a thought about cheese.

Yesterday, I polled some friends and family to figure out what my grand returning post would be. I got two distinct answers that lingered in my head for a while and culminated in the ultimate bathroom thought. Cheese, and old people.

Well, not quite 'old people', more that I extrapolated 'old people' from my grandfather's birthday recently, but CLOSE ENOUGH. ANYWHOOO; Of course, since it was my family who suggested 'old people', I immediately thought of Facebook memes and how painful a number of them can be to view. It was then, that it hit me: memes... are like cheese.

I could say wine, but honestly, I'll say cheese.

government cheese rationing has begun please step in line

Pictured above is a stack of sliced, processed cheese. American cheese, government cheese, fake cheese, whatever you want to call it Idon'tcare; Plenty of the Western youth have already had at least a slice of this cheese. When you first have it, it's a wonderful, creamy goodness. It really sticks to the tongue, strings out with your grilled cheese, it fits with just about anything! It goes on your sandwich you take to school every morning, it gets served with your backyard burgers at the barbecue, it gets put in with the Kraft Dinner for some extra cheese- it- it... it gets plain. You start having it too often, and you begin to realise why it's so cheap.

As you grow up, you begin to diversify, see new frontiers of cheese. Bricks, shredded, new flavours... soon, the cheese of yore fades to obscurity. But that's not the last you'll see of that cheddar, since THAT BABY'S GONNA RESURFACE... IN THE FORM OF A RICH, DELECTABLE BRICK OF ORANGE GOODNESS BABYYYY!

Aged cheddar is a taste of the old, nostalgic cheeses of youth, in a rich, tasteful, flavourful new coat of sleEEEK edible paint. Who would've guessed that leaving cheese for years, would make it SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL? A mystery to perplex the frontier-men of the cheese industry for days to come.

But you might be asking: "what on Earth does this have to do with memes?" Well, I'll ask you something: have you seen ragefaces, or Vine memes resurface lately? If you haven't, holy SMOKES I want a feel for that rock you're under, it would probably be so cosy and miles less chaotic...

Let's rewind internet culture a bit, shall we? You're younger now. You see your first few memes, you see that raptor dude pondering with the impact font text, a couple rage comics, maybe even the start of Vine? It's a bit of a golden age for internet humour, it's certainly a hell of a lot more unique than the day to day standards of the traditional comedic conventions, right? Well, things only last so long.

Eventually, the rage comics become stale, Vine shuts down, and other formats are phased out in form of new, unique takes on comedy. Like trying out different slices of the same processed cheese, we go through one pack, get bored of it and try another, get bored again and try another in a vicious cycle of boredom and a search for that top-tier humour to satiate the brain. When we look back at the processed cheese we were eating a month or two ago? It reminds you of that plastic shell, and that boring semi-cheese flavour.

Fast-forward to the present day; Like a call to nostalgia, or a return to the simpler past, you start hearing the nearly decade old "bruh." And(/or) the distortions of the troll face that gave you har hars long ago begin to resurface and expand into these insane, ironic takes that span so far beyond the original scope that it can sometimes come off as actual horror. It's a rich taste of what you once loved.

It's beautiful, really: age bringing things back together again? A unity of nostalgia and silly times to warm your heart and remember what you used to chuckle at? No less, to see it evolve in a way that you'd never possibly foresee: you're meaning to tell me that processed cheddar can just kinda, not be processed, and become that rich, fine aged goodness? These thoughts, they're something to behold.

So go on, eat a brick of cheese. I, dare you.

Here's something btw

[cherrychapati]

Rani I need advice! What should I eat for lunch? my options are: pasta with pesto, grilled cheese or müsli

WHAT IS A MÜSLI I AM UNCULTURED

I pick grilled cheese bc I haven't had grilled cheese in ages and I had pasta yesterday

tell me how lunch goes bbg