#I haven't done an icon set in so long!!!

[allcolorbut-theblack]

pls be my valentine

[nozunhinged]

Okay okay okaaaayyyyy I swear I also have smart thoughts that are NOT related to boys artistically smashing on screen BUT korntonkla in 4 minutes is such a prime example of plot driven intimacy if not THE prime example in all of the BL I've watched so far. We all know mystery and timejumps and how they are done well and visuals we need to look for but when it comes to physical intimacy as a plot device everything suddenly goes to shit so here I am.

I'm going to explain why korntonklas scene was the perfect way to establish their relationship and how this is so, so, much more than just a "NC scene" (btw I HATE this acronym with a passion), it's an essential part of the story that cannot be left out.

But I do understand it's not everyone's cup of tea so I am going to seize screenshots or GIFs but plssssss keep reading the scene deserves it! Even more if you've skipped it!

Ok now with the disclaimers out of the way, let's talk about Korn and tonkla.

The flow of their scene was absolutely perfect from start to finish and not a single second was wasted. Their sugar relationship is established immediately with the topic of work as the center. Thanks to that we learn what their relationship is in the first place, which purpose it serves korn and what that says about him. His sweet words are the turning point to shift the focus on tonkla. They are too sweet, almost cheesy, they're empty and meaningless but we watch tonkla eating them up like candy and the stage is set for the exploration of their dynamic.

Tonklas way of rewarding these words, which brings us the iconic bareback moment.

Tonkla turns from cute and confident to incredibly needy the moment the heat turns up and we understand in a split second that he wants more from his daddy than just his dick. He wants his trust, a true connection, the level a relationship could potentially reach and his only chance in their current setting to articulate that is by yeah, asking if Korn could go in raw.

And how he doesn't even say no, he just rips the condom open.

Oh boy no dialogue in the world could replace THAT, I'm telling you. Now we know he uses his power in this moment to cover up his cowardice and acts like the one whos in control. I have a feeling this way of dealing with things will bite him in the ass later.

Meanwhile tonkla just takes everything he could get. And if that wasn't enough to let us know what's going on here, we double down with a round of helping tonkla cum.

That makes him look generous and loving and of course it would make tonklan even happier because that's (unfortunately) not the norm. Another way of covering up his uuh...let's call it mediocre performance.

But in tonklas eyes, he's so lucky to have him. Korns knows he has to take good care of his puppy if he wants to keep him. How do we learn that? Well in their afterglow all tonkla does is cling to Korn to bask in every moment he gets with him while Korn is completely out of it, visibly enjoying his stress relief.

And let's be real here, he may have jerked his boy off but dude held it for like 10 seconds before he busted whimpering like a damn loser no amount of money makes you this happy in the way tonkla is clinging to him. Puppy is down bad.

The conclusion of it all—the make out scene before they get interrupted—is the cherry on top, now we know how their dymanic works and how it functions in the overall story. Chefs kiss, I'm telling you.

I could go on how many plot points we've established in this one intimate scene but this is already too long uuuugh.

Korn and his relationship with tonkla painted a perfect picture of his character and the issues he has and will have to deal with and I'm telling you there was NO BETTER WAY to establish than with this scene.

And I haven't even touched on the natural movements of the actors, the realistic flow of things that make everything so palpable, tiny details like Korn holding his dick after he lubed it up. It's not relevant to the plot but makes the intented plot points SHINE because you don't stumble over clunky or unrealistic execution and can concentrate on what's happening with the characters UGHHHHHH SO GOOD!!!

Man that's A+ direction and I'm in absolute awe.

[the-passenger-if]

I wonder what would be Roach's reaction to Newman actually recognizing them. I think they said they would've turned tail during the initial meeting, but what about later in the relationship? What if Newman recognized them but didn't say anything because they thought Roach didn't and in that part where Roach says "I can keep you safe because I could keep me safe." Newman says Roach didn't do anything because they just got bored of chasing them or "had already made their point across." something said in the heat of the moment like that...

"You…" Roach is staring at you as if you had grown a second head. "What do you mean?"

Oh, crap. You shouldn't have brought up that you know who they are. Least of all in the middle of an argument. You hesitate and before you can even think of a reply, Roach is narrowing their eyes and inching away, glare set on your form.

"What do you mean by that?" they prompt.

No point in dodging the question now. "I wondered if you'd recognized me. You didn't say anything and I..." Roach takes a step back, and another. "Don't you dare running away," you snap, and they become as still as one of the icons of Sadalsuud watching you from about every corner in the cabin. "Just listen to me before you do anything, alright?" The only reply you get is a blink. "I'm not going to hurt you." Roach says nothing. "I haven't done anything to you in all this time." Still nothing. "Say something!"

"How long have you known?"

"How long have you known?"

"Fuck." And then so low you almost don't catch it, "This is awkward." Their shoulders sag. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I could ask you the same."

Their eyebrows shoot up. "This might blow your mind, but the last interaction we had left me a bit wary."

"The last interaction we had?" You don't think you left anyone alive, not when a hunt started. "We didn't..."

Roach watches you for a moment before offering you a humorless smile. "Of course you don't get it. Why would you." Before you can ask what they mean, they push on, "Why didn't you tell me you recognized me?"

"I don't know."

They look away, run a hand through their blond locks. The silence in the cabin feels like a third presence standing between you. You were so sure you would have a dozen questions if the subject was ever mentioned, but now that it's finally happened your mind is coming up blank. You already told them you've no interest in finishing the job, is there anything else to add? It feels like you should and yet...

Roach turns to grab their backpack and you make to move, but the weary look they send your way keeps you rooted in place. "I need some air."

"Why are you taking your backpack with you?"

"Because I don't know if I'm coming back."

Your gut twists in knots. "Roach, wait." They patiently do, but once again nothing comes to mind. "Please, don't go."

They shake their head and that humorless smile comes back. Going to stand in front of the door, they open it. "You really have an awful timing, you know that?" And then they're gone and you still feel like you should've said more.

[zenkai-icons]

Quick-N'-Easy Icon Editing Set-up with Krita!

I'm sure there are already a few tutorials like this one out there, but hey, what can one more hurt?

What's this do?: Krita has features you can use so you can make quick edits to your icons all at once, and save them all out individually with the press of a button. It's a great time-saver, and gives you a lot of flexibility in your edits!

What you'll need:

Krita, a free and open-source painting / image editing program!

Icons!

Part 1: How to export your icons all at once.

( warning: long and image-heavy! Written with beginners in mind. )

Once you open Krita, you'll want to go to Window > Workspace > Animation on the uppermost bar to change the layout for what we'll need, here.

We're going to be using Krita's animation features to make iconing / icon-editing a little easier.

( as an extra note, hitting '1' on your keyboard will set Krita's zoom to the image's actual size, while '2' will have it fill the available space. Helpful for seeing how your icons will appear on the dash. )

Okay, let's get started! Make a new image ( File > New or press Ctrl + N ), set it to whatever dimensions you want ( I default to 100x100px ). Make a new layer ( Click the plus icon in the layers tab, or press ins ), and then put that layer in a group ( Right-click the layer and click group > quick group, or press Ctrl+G while its selected. )

With that grouped layer selected, Grab your icons, and click & drag them into Krita, onto the canvas ( the big empty grey space in the center ). When Krita prompts you, select 'insert many layers.' This will load in each image as its own layer. If you don't have the grouped layer selected, you'll have to select them all and put them back in the group. ( No big deal, just shift + click the first and last layers, and drag them where you need them. )

You can now delete your initial paint layer in the group, if you want. Otherwise it will make an 'empty' icon when we export.

Select that group, then go to Layer > Convert > Convert Group to Animated Layer on the top bar. ( This is only accessible through the top bar, not the menu that appears when you right-click on a group. I don't know why. )

Congrats! Now all your icons are frames in an animation. Each cell on the timeline is a single icon. If you have a scroll wheel, you can scroll to quickly look through them all.

If you can't see all of your icons on the timeline, click the three bars here and set 'clip end' to whatever number of icons you have ( or a little more, for extra wiggle room. )

Find the last filled cell, right-click it and select 'set end time.'

When you're ready, hit File > Render animation.

You'll want to make sure you set it to export as an image sequence, and select where you want your icons to go on your computer. Give them a naming scheme. Make sure you save before you export your icons, as I've had Krita crash while exporting a large number of icons all at once. ( If it does this to you, just try again. Worst comes to worst, you can export by setting the first frames and last frames to smaller chunks instead of all at once. )

Hit OK and voila! No more saving icons out one-by-one!

Of course, we haven't done any editing yet, so this is all redundant unless you're saving out your own freshly-cropped icons. Let's move onto the fun part:

Part 2: Editing

Right-click your new group layer and hit add > filter mask. Choose any you want- for demonstration purposes, I'll be using my favorite: gradient map.

This will put that filter over all frames in that animation layer, meaning you won't have to repeat your edits per icon.

If you want to edit your filter mask after you click off, just right-click it in the layer tab and select 'properties.' It will bring the initial prompt up again for you to adjust.

You can add as many filter masks as you want! The order the layers are in does matter, though, so keep that in mind.

If you want to add frames, banners, name tags, symbols etc, you can do that on layers over or under that animation layer! They'll stay consistent across the 'animation' unless you add new frames to them on the timeline.

If you want to edit your icons again, just do so, and re-export! If the naming scheme and numbers are the same, Krita will automatically overwrite the old files. But watch out; if you're trying to save new icons, make sure you start numbering at a higher number than your last icon, or change the base name.

Happy iconing!

[suzy-queued]

ART TAG

Tagged by Molly @deathclassic. So fun to learn more about our artists!

Have you always been interested in creating art? Yeah! My grandmother and aunt are/were professional artists. It feels like the family trade.

What's your favorite medium to use? If digital, what programs do you like? My favorite is spray paint and pastel, no question. But due to time/ease constraints, almost all of my fandom art has been done on a tablet using Sketchbook (with some finishing touches in Photoshop).

Do you create outside of fandom? Yes, although these days my output is heavily skewed toward Gallavich.

Share something you haven't finished and/or never got around to posting. As long as you promise not to laugh! I dabble in animation, but I never get very far. Here is a rough concept of an animated piece.

Favorite piece you've made? Like, ever? That's tough. Here are two pieces that I enjoy a lot:

Draw your icon in a minute or less

An underrated piece you've made in your opinion This piece for Kinktober 2023 made me really happy. It's the closest I've been able to get to a true pastel feel on my tablet.

Do you do art in a professional setting? Yes. I do book covers, and I'm a graphic/web designer. Logo designs, all kinds of stuff.

A piece you don't like but did really well on social media. Nah, I'm pretty okay with the balance of quality versus engagement.

Post an old piece and compare it to your most recent, what are the similarities? Here's the first piece I ever did on my tablet, when I was learning the tools, versus the cover for Then & Now:

Similarities? Ian's pouty lip. The textures within the color areas. Joyful light and shadows.

Have you ever collaborated with another artist/s? My family likes to play Exquisite Corpse. Does that count?

What piece has the most notes? Are you surprised?

Prison? Dominance? Freckles? What's not to love!

Who/What is your favorite subject matter? These days, it's Gallavich. But naturally, I tend to gravitate away from drawing people's faces. It's been a real learning curve for me trying to make these boys look like recognizable humans. I generally draw dark/spooky stuff.

Show us something not from fandom you've made Here are two books covers I've done for my husband (both made with spray paint/acrylic/pastel).

Where do you like to create? At the work table in my basement. With an electric blanket over my lap.

Do you have a tag that you use to group your creations? Tell us so people can follow it. gallavich fan art

Give yourself a shoutout, where can we commission/buy/follow you for more pieces? You can follow my art on AO3. I have a few galleries: My Gallavich Art A.U.gust 2023 Gallery Gallavich Kinktober 2022 Collection

I'll tag these lovely artists (sorry of there are any repeats of Molly's tags): @gallapiech @sweetperversiongirl @deedala @michellemisfit @doshiart

@crossmydna @darthvaders-wife @heymrspatel @spookygingerr @filorux

[deathclassic]

ART TAG

I just want to see more art and creatives

-

Have you always been interested in creating art? Yes! I've been drawing for as long as I can remember

What's your favourite medium to use? If digital, what programs do you like? I really enjoy drawing traditionally, a lot of the time i sketch and then take a photo to finish it digitally on photoshop (that i pirated)

Do you create outside of fandom? Yes, I draw for myself a lot but I don't really share them

Share something you haven't finished and/or never got around to posting mickey eating vegemite toast which i sent to nosho and never posted here haha

Favourite piece you've made?

ive always liked my beer bottle and carton design

Draw your icon in a minute or less

An underrated piece you've made in your opinion

any of my stranger things fanart bc i dont have any stranger things mutuals <3

Do you do art in a professional setting? kinda? im a qualified graphic designer and im working on a logo for a boxing trainer now

A piece you don't like but did really well on social media

100% this one, dan posted it on his ig story and tagged me in it and used it as his header on twitter for a while too

Post an old piece and compare it to your most recent, what are the similarites?

still doing outfit challenges, still adding a splash of colour in the bg, colour, details and adding waves to hair! also the shading is similar on the stomachs

Have you ever collaborated with another artist/s? yes!! ive done a dan and phil poster with other phan artists, a calendar that @pseudophan organised years ago (i still have it) and some cool one on one stuff with other artists in various fandoms <3

What piece has the most notes? Are you surprised?

this series, very surprised tbh currently at 12k+ notes

Who/What is your favourite subject matter?

People/characters i love, i just love drawing people i enjoy watching ya know

Show us something not from fandom you've made

a modernised take on shakespeares 'Taming of the Shrew', the badge is currently on my battle vest

Where do you like to create? in my bedroom at my desk, i feel inspired in my art corner

Do you have a tag that you use to group your creations? Tell us so people can follow it

'm does art' is my art tag!

Give yourself a shoutout, where can we commission/buy/follow you for more pieces?

commissions - unavailable but will open in a month or so instagram redbubble

tagging: @doshiart @gallapiech @spookygingerr @konaiiro

@michellemisfit @heymrspatel @vintagelacerosette @ghoulish-art-tendencies

@sgtmickeyslaughter @creepkinginc @kiennilove @burninface

@darlingian @suzy-queued

[tadbitsketch]

I haven't done one of these in forever but welcome back to Sketch Rambles About MCSM Stuff at an Unreasonable Hour of the Night 🎉🎉🎉

Tonight, I'm gonna discuss one of my favorite songs from the Minecraft: Story Mode OST, "Redstone Baby," and the potential lore that it holds. And why that's very Sorengaard related.

Disclaimer: this is me interpreting silly block people. Unless otherwise stated (or in the game), it ain't actually canon. Also, I am a teenage girl. I am not versed very well in the specifics of how music theory works and how it's used in media. Also also, I wrote most of this like two months ago and completely forgot about it.

(In case you needed a reminder of how it sounds)

This song appears twice in the season 1 episode 3: when you arrive in Soren's lab area, and again in the end credits. It can also be heard through the closed secret entrance wall in the Wool World™, and it gradually becomes clearer as you approach the door to Soren's lab, where a music disc is playing the song inside.

The instrumentation of "Redstone Baby" consists of guitar, piano, and violin. It feels comforting and cozy, whilst also giving a sad, longing sort of vibe. According to a comment written 6 years ago by Antimo on the linked video, they were going for a sorta "Fallout: New Vegas" vibe when they wrote it. The song holds an air of nostalgia, of better times. An idealized dream of how the world could be.

To get to the point: it's cute, it's cozy, and it's a love song in a game where they weren't allowed to explicitly write any canon ships (if I'm remembering correctly). Also one of the few songs in this game to be given lyrics. So, of course, we're gonna talk about this. Or rather I'm gonna write about it and you're gonna read it.

The lyrics go as follows:

In a marshmallow world, you're my sweetheart.

In a marshmallow world, you're my sweetheart.

You're the bed to my rock,

The flint to my steel.

My redstone baby doll...

My redstone baby doll.

(music)

In a marshmallow world, you're my sweetheart.

In a marshmallow world, you're my sweetheart.

My sugar baby...

aaaah ladada, awoah...

The lyrics are pretty strange, right? It seems nonsensical at first, but I (and many others) believe that it has more meaning than meets the eye.

This is a love song addressed to a someone proficient with redstone. Funnily enough, Soren's old friend group did have one of those. A brilliant Redstone Engineer: Ellegaard. And quite interestingly, these two were pretty close, as is said multiple times in canon. I think Magnus mentions their little "Nerd Club," in episode 3 at some point. Another fact to back me up on this: Soren calls the song "Symphony in E" in-game on the little radio-disk-program-thing.

And for whatever reason, Soren and Ellegaard didn't stay close or end up together. There's not really a way to know for certain what went down between them. All we do know is that Soren wishes it was different.

The "marshmallow world" that is talked about in the song is Soren's perfect world. It's safe, sweet, and fluffy. I am of the opinion that it could possibly be an indirect reference to the wool world that Soren built. It's bright. It's safe. No monsters can get him there. He can just build things and be happy. In a perfect, marshmallow world, Ellegaard is with Soren.

The metaphors Soren uses here, "the bed to my rock, the flint to my steel," they're both iconic, inseparable duos: bedrock, and flint and steel. In Minecraft, bedrock is the unbreakable foundation beneath all else in the Overworld. Flint and steel is used to set things on fire, and is most often used to light Nether portals, which is way less symbolic (unless someone can find something? maybe the whole flaming heart being a metaphor for love thing?) but still iconic and the phrase has a very nice rhythm to it.

When we first hear the song, it feels like normal wishful thinking. It's more just fluff and poetry than full-on wants and desires.

But when we hear it in the end credits of episode 3... We just saw someone die after sacrificing their safety for Jesse's. The monster that they died to help kill isn't even dead. Someone we thought was dead is actually alive and doesn't remember anything. It's loud, dark, and burning. A sickening storm of death and destruction. Anything but the marshmallow world.

Without considering which of the two died, this song is already quite jarring in comparison to what was just witnessed. This "marshmallow world" that seemed somewhat close just a moment ago now feels implausible, and thus it'd be worth so much more if it were real.

I will never not love when something in a piece of media is treated as a good sign or motif or something and then it gets recontextualized and hurts ya right in the feels.

And with Redstone Baby combined with Ellegaard dying, it's just that extra brutal.

Because now it's not just, "in a perfect world, we'd be together." It's "in a perfect world, you wouldn't be dead, and we'd be together."

If only Soren wasn't so much of a coward. How differently things could've gone.

[ihavethedreamies]

From Afar | What the Heart Wants (1)

Qian Kun & Nakamoto Yuta (NCT)

Rating: Suggestive (18+) MDNI

Nothing explicitly is said or done, but sexual interactions are implied.

The beginning of this story has the reader underaged, but nothing happens or is implied to happen before she turns 18.

Word Count: ~14.2k

Pairing(s): Kun x AFAB!Reader x Yuta, the primary pairing is Kun x Reader, but it's kinda both for the first part.

Genre: Reader-Insert, Altered History AU!, Royalty AU!, Plot! (wow), Fluff? (not for sure that's what to call this), not quite smut (yet), Angst (but angry)

!!There are mature themes discussed…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her pronouns used, Arranged Marriage (ish), Harems/Multiple Wives (more fiancées…), Bullying (see Caution), Some Swearing, Borderline Misogyny/Sexism (you'll see, not from the boys, just like…society), Favoritism, Love Triangle, Jealousy, Pining, One-Sided Crush/Infatuation (or is it?)

Caution: This story is a bit darker than my normal stuff. There isn't bullying throughout, just one intense scene. It's not in a school setting, but I do want to warn anyone reading this that it could be triggering. I'll be real and admit that there is definitely toxicity here, and I know that's what it is, I try to be realistic with my stuff. There is also a part where the reader has a severe allergic reaction, so if that is something that is hard for you to read, be aware. Please let me know if you think I need to add in any more specific warnings or cautions.

Author's Note: This is based off of a dream I had while I took a nap a bit back. I changed some details because what happened in the dream was a little too unrealistic. But, most of it is pretty much the same. I have a lot of Kun dreams, but most of them I can't write a story with because there are weird cross-overs with my real life and often the video game Mass Effect (lol), so…

P.S. Kun is my Ultimate Bias and so…I held back for so long of going down the rabbit hole because I knew I wouldn't be able to crawl out once I did. I am working on another much longer series so that's why I don't have much posted for him yet since I want to get it mostly done before I post any of it.

P.S.S. The reader has a bad allergy to coconut, which is one I have. So, it might seem a bit extreme with her reaction to it, but I know from personal experience how bad I can be with it. I haven't had the same thing happen though.

I split this into two different parts because I hate reading a long story, and then the app or page somehow gets closed, and then you have to scroll to find your spot… The second part is just smut, literally just the smut part, but it was so long I needed to separate the two parts.

Part 2: Up Close (Smut)

I am cross-posting this on Archive and Wattpad. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other sites. Happy reading!

Your life seemed to end before it really began. Things like harems for royalty and royalty itself should be in history books and old stories, not modern times. Yet here you were. Historians often talk about how much different the eastern world might look had Japan been successful in taking Korea nearly 100 years prior. Would they have ruled East Asia rather than the Korean Monarchy? Would China be its own country still? Siam? All you knew is that if World War II had gone much differently, you wouldn't be in the situation you were.

In order to keep the commoners and everyday folks of each country of the Korean Empire in line, the Emperor would marry a noblewoman from each land, therefore forming his Harem. When he was a prince, he had his little group of girls that followed him around and did everything with him, almost like some kind of harem anime or even American dating show. One would be picked to be his 'main wife' and the rest were concubines. That's what you were. Well, almost. You were 'in training' to be a possible concubine or wife. The king had five wives, and a son with each woman. The eldest was Taeyong, from the king's first Korean wife; then Prince Yuta, whose mother was Japanese; third born was Prince Kun, from a Chinese mother; second youngest was Prince Ten with a Siamese mother. His birthname was not used very often since most people didn't know how to pronounce it, and finally the youngest Prince was Prince Doyoung. His mother was Korean as well and since he was the youngest, he had the least responsibilities. Not necessarily in a bad way, but he was quite lazy and didn't go out very often. Each prince had a symbol that then was used to name his girls. Taeyong's was a rose and so his girls were The Petals. Yuta's was the Cherry Tree, so his girls were The Sakura. Kun's was a Bear, and his girls were The Ursas. Ten's symbol was a cat and his girls, The Tabbies. Finally, Doyoung's symbol was a rabbit, so his girls were The Bunnies. The name he chose somewhat showed how little he cared for formality. It was too much effort, and he was actually considered the best prince to follow. None of the princes were bad, though, it was simply that Doyoung was the least strict, and there were less rules overall. Taeyong's group was the most prestigious since he was the Crown Prince, and so it was hard to stay in The Petals.

Many different things could make a girl leave or get kicked out. It was pretty easy to get kicked out actually, but most of the time it was by the other girls. Jealousy and competition were rampant, but if sabotage or cheating was ever even just suspected, you were out. Each prince got their initial set at the age of eighteen, and the girls would be at the most two years younger, never older. So, when Prince Yuta hit the proper age, they sent out the search committee. Your father had told you as a little girl that he would never, no matter how much money was offered, let you go. Unfortunately, he didn't get to make the decision because he passed two years prior. Your mother couldn't manage the family estate and business well either, so she remarried, and of course your stepfather was more than willing to hand you over. You never learned how much he was paid, but you knew, to him, it was more than you were worth.

There were always five girls, two from Korea and one from China, Japan, and Siam as well. When you were escorted to the royal palace, you looked up at the tall arch allowing entry onto the grounds. Due to historical preservation laws, no one actively lived in the palace, but there was a modern campus built for the royal family. The guards let the fancy black car you were being escorted in through and it continued down the road past the elegantly preserved palace. Finally, after nearly five minutes of driving, the vehicle stopped in front of what appeared to be an extremely fancy hotel. You were told the main estate was further into the campus and was where the King and Queen lived with the Concubines. Where you were to live was where the princes and all of their entourages lived. Shakily, you got out of the car when it came to a stop, the heels of your black Mary Jane's clicking on the stone pavement. Your suitcases were removed from the trunk, and they went off to your room as you were led down the opposite hallway. Looking around at your surroundings, the building felt less like a royal residence and more of a luxury apartment building, there were even a few restaurants. Finally, after a long walk in very uncomfortable shoes, you were told to enter a large ballroom and you stood in line with what seemed to be twenty other girls. That was a surprise, you thought for sure you had already been chosen. While you wanted to pray you wouldn't be chosen, you also feared being sent back to your stepfather. Your soft yellow and white dress was probably just as expensive as the other girls’ but seemed much plainer. Standing straight, trying to remember your etiquette training, the line of girls all did the same, stiffening when a door on the other side of the ball room entered. At least, you thought it was a ballroom. There was a stage on the opposite wall and that was it. No tables or chairs, nothing. You felt the girls to your left and right turn their heads to try and see who entered, but you just stared ahead. The three people that entered stopped in the middle of the room, a bit to your left since you were toward the end of the line. The other girls were whispering, and curiosity took over and your eyes flicked to look at them. It was a servant, most likely since he was in a butler's outfit, a man in a business suit, and who you assumed to be the prince. He was beautiful, and that was an objective fact. His dark brown hair was longer, hitting his shoulders and he had it tied back into a half-ponytail. He was not dressed like a prince really; he had on a black T-shirt or tank top with a soft-looking grey sweater over it. He was in jeans and sneakers, and you looked down at your dress, then at the others. You were sixteen, but you felt like a little girl then, with your high-collared, long-sleeved white button-up with a yellow sundress over top. Though, it seemed he preferred casual, and you were the closest to that. His stance was casual as well, arms behind his back, leaning his weight on one leg as he lightly swayed, looking over the line of girls. The servant cleared his throat, and it was like some kind of primal instinct took over, and you placed your hands together over your stomach, and bowed low. No one else did. Panic set in when you realized this, hearing the other girls whispering. Now too nervous to stand back up, you pressed your lips together, but stayed bowed.

"It seems she was the only one raised correctly." A new voice, a woman's, cut in and you heard another person walk in. The woman stopped in front of you, and you only saw the bottom of her dress and shoes, she was dressed in the traditional dark green and blue hanbok.

"You may look up, dear." She prompted and you straightened, looking up slightly at the much older woman. Her hair was graying at the roots, but she was still quite beautiful. Her hair was tied back in a bun with a simple wooden pin and you swallowed under her sharp gaze.

"Prince Yuta, please come here." Her tone changed, and she bowed, stepping to the side and you froze as he left his original position and strode over to you. He stopped before you and you dropped your gaze. Don't look at his face. That was clearly something no one else learned and you were a bit worried about that, though, his handmaiden seemed pleased with you. Didn't mean he would be.

"How old are you?" His voice was soft, deeper than you thought it would be.

"Sixteen, your highness." Your hands still rested over each other, flat against your stomach and you tried not to flinch when his finger went to your chin. He lifted your head, but your eyes stayed down, no matter how badly you wanted to look at his face better.

"Look at me." He prompted and you obeyed. He was even more attractive up close, more handsome than you thought, still pretty. He tipped his head and a similarly pretty smile spread on his face.

"Her."

After that, you were quickly whisked away.

"What will happen with the other girls?" You asked the maid that was taking your measurements after you reached some sort of dressing room.

"He will pick the other nine and you will begin training." The same older woman from before entered then and you nodded jerkily, trying to process everything.

"Training?"

"It seems you have begun on etiquette already, unlike the other girls. That will help. Ten girls will start and after your four years the final five will graduate up. You will all learn everything you need to, to be a good woman of the royal family and possibly a future princess."

"I see." The same maid began holding up different swatches of fabric next to your face, flipping through different colors. Seemingly making a decision, the maid nodded to the head handmaiden, and you stepped off the small pedestal you had been set on.

"Let us go child, I will escort you to the dormitory."

 ~*~*~

Over the next four years, as you were told, you trained. Ten girls all lived in a four-bedroom apartment, three in two, and two in two. It was miserable. You really didn't mind the training and tutoring itself, it was the clique-like mentality the girls had even within the dorm. Let alone in the other training groups. You felt like an outlier the whole time but staying quiet and laying low helped. You yourself were not bullied, but you weren't friends with the other girls either. Not in any of the groups. Prince Taeyong's girls were a few months ahead of your group and the other three were not even a year younger. The eldest prince was only about four months older than Yuta, and he was only a month, maybe two, older than Kun. The youngest were each a month after. It seemed the King had gotten to work quickly…

For the first year you almost never saw any of the princes, not even Yuta. It seemed the first year was really used to weed out girls, and that was when some of the original twenty made a return. If one of the ten got kicked out or left, they replaced her. That was not what you expected at all, but it seemed you were relatively safe. You only got one demerit over the first year, and it was minor. The rules were strict and after your first dink you never messed up again. What did you mess up? You forgot to put in your earrings before the morning check.

After the second year, you would have more interactions with Prince Yuta, and sometimes the others. That was when you first met the third-born Prince. Kun. Your eyes widened when you saw him, it was like some kind of rose-colored filter hung around him. He was…perfect. You weren't sure exactly what drew you to him so heavily, but it was nearly backbreaking, the weight of your crush. It didn't help that your infatuation was with the completely wrong prince. Most of the girls were good at staying loyal to their boy, and if they weren't, that was grounds for expulsion. It was your first true hinderance and possible snare. The only one, really. Luckily, he wasn't around too often in the second year. For no reason, really, you hated the girls in his group. They were so incredibly fortunate in your eyes and didn't realize how much so. Was Yuta bad? Not in any way, shape or form. He was extremely sweet and kind, generous…but he wasn't Kun. To you, that was his greatest sin. Your obsession was a bit worrying, honestly. Though the girls were given a therapist they could talk with, she was there for things like homesickness and anxiety. Not near yandere-levels of love for a Prince not their own. Okay…it wasn't that bad, but you feared that if your mind ever got too weak, if you broke, it would be that bad. When third year rolled around… It got so much worse. The princes did a lot of things together and if a girl made it to year three, then she got to as well. On the new year of year three, the girls remaining were the final ones. One could leave, but she wouldn't be replaced. So, what most often happened, is the gaggle of fifty girls would each take turns with which five would go on an outing with their prince. What killed you about those, was when you were picked, and Kun would be there. It was hard to keep your wistful stares off of him and you prayed he would stick near Yuta for as long as possible, so you could look at him all the more. He was what most considered to be the handsome one among the half-brothers. Taeyong was what the girls defined as cute-hot. Could be either. Yuta was handsome-pretty, Ten was just pretty and Doyoung was just cute. Kun was handsome to the rest, but to you he was also the cutest, prettiest, and hottest. He was by no means buff, but he was able to build the most muscle tone out of all of them and you couldn't help but stare when his pants were just the right amount of tight around his thighs. When you finally got close enough to really look at him the first time, you cataloged every little feature you could. Especially the beauty mark under his right eyebrow.

~*~*~

You were truly a goner when you attended a causal tennis game the princes were engaging in. Doyoung sat off the side with his girls, and they were literally playing some kind of board or card game instead. You sat with the four other Sakuras on a bench, not even watching the tennis ball fly between Yuta and Taeyong's rackets. You were staring off into the distance, messing with a stray string at the top of your knee-high socks. If the head handmaid saw it… Wrapping your finger around it tight, you yanked to try and pull it away, the elastic tightening with each tug. You were so preoccupied with your sock that you didn't even hear the warning call, but something thunked against the back of your head. You yelped, falling forward off the bench, managing to catch yourself with your hands, but you scraped your knees up badly on the court-floor.

"Hiyomi!" Yuta immediately called and was at your side. You weren't even sure if you would have known he was calling you if he had said your real name. You hadn't heard it in such a long time.

"Good job!" Ten shouted sarcastically and you heard another come to your side.

"Hey, you okay?" Yuta helped you sit up a bit, letting your rest your forehead on his shoulder as he looked at the back of your head.

"I'm so sorry, Hiyomi." Your body froze when the other person's voice seemed to speak right in your ear and another hand rested on your upper back.

"Does it hurt there?" You hadn't even realized Yuta had pressed on your neck at the base of your head. He must have taken your sudden rigidity as a pain response. Carefully, slightly, you turned your head so you could glance out of the side of your eye, through your hair, at a red shirt. Only one of the princes was in a red shirt that day. You were sure your face turned about that same shade when you realized the other boy so close to you was Kun, and that the hand on your back was his.

"Hiyomi?" Yuta prompted again and you flinched back to reality.

"Uh, no." Your own hand came up to run over your head, wincing as you felt the small bump forming under your hair. The hand left your back and you felt Yuta move your hair so he could see where you pressed. You gasped when Kun's hand came back, his fingers gently running over the bump.

"She should probably go to the infirmary." The younger prince decided, and Yuta hummed in agreement.

"I'm so sorry, Hiyomi." He apologized again, and even though it was your alias, hearing him speak your name twisted your insides around.

"I-It's okay." You were too scared to lift your head as Yuta helped you stand, knowing that if you met Kun's gaze then you would fall back to your knees.

"Come on, sweetheart." Yuta wrapped an arm around you so he could lead you toward the building and you felt the glares of your team boring through you. It was evident even before then that Yuta favored you, and it made the girls mad. You never made more of an effort to woo him like they did, you just lived your life naturally, and that seemed to be what appealed to him.

"I guess the nurse isn't here right now." Yuta had helped you sit on the edge of one of the two cot-like beds and then he kneeled in front of you.

"Do you mind if help with your knees?" He had noticed the scrapes, and you shook your head with a hum, and he left to get the first aid kit. It was then you really felt the pain in your head, but you hadn't even seen stars, so you doubted you had a concussion. The tennis ball hadn't been going that hard, it had bounced on the court before it hit you, slowing it down pretty good. When the prince came back, he cleaned the scrapes and you winced at the sting. He was so gentle and put ointment on as well before the band-aids. As his thumb smoothed over the bandage, he opened his mouth to say something, but the nurse decided to return right then. He went back out to the tennis court as she looked you over and she suggested you rest for a bit, there was no concussion evident, but you did still get hit in the head.

You had managed to drift half-way to sleep, and you somewhat registered hearing the nurse step out, and someone not too long after coming in. It was a different person for sure, they weren't in heels, and you wondered if it was the head handmaid. Flittering your eyes open when you felt them move to your bedside, you jerked in shock.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" You tried not to panic, eyes falling quickly to the white logo on his red shirt. You were allowed at that point to look at Yuta's face, but you weren't sure about the other princes. Plus, if you did, you might just explode.

"N-No." You shook your head against the pillow and shuffled under the light blanket. Fuck. You tried not to wince when he kneeled down so he could meet your gaze. He smiled. You were done for.

"Sorry, I really didn't mean to let the ball hit you. I tried to go after it, but I'm not very fast." Kun huffed bashfully and you just gaped. Speak! Say something, stupid!

"I-It's okay."

"Can you tell Yuta you're not mad at me? He looked like he wanted to kill me." You knew the look. Yuta was definitely the scariest of the brothers.

"Y-yes." He sighed in relief at that and stood back up.

"I should probably go before you get in trouble for me being in here." He huffed in annoyance and then waved as he left the little infirmary. You were truly and royally, ironically, screwed.

~*~*~

Of course, it got worse through the third and into the fourth year. All the teams had been narrowed down to the final five, the girls that were weeded out were essentially turned into the reserve team. You didn't know what that meant until after you graduated. And you did. You were in the final five for The Sakuras, the little junior harem of Prince Yuta. You were also the forerunner, the informal leader despite being the youngest, but you were the least popular. Out of all twenty-five girls, they all either hated you or didn't care to acknowledge your presence. To them you put in very little effort to get to your rank, well, how you ranked to Yuta. In actuality, you put in the most effort, and had no demerits and never had to make up in any of your training. All of the other maknaes, the youngest, were the favorites of the other girls. Not you. You didn't fit the cutesy, sweet image you were supposed to it seemed. The graduation wasn't going to be until April. Because the princes were so close in age, they decided to just do everyone at the same time, and that just made the internal competition even worse. Though, your favor with the head handmaiden granted you a privilege. Early information. You knew things before anyone else, you were warned. That's how you saw it anyway. It seemed that there would be another year of training after graduation. Everyone was of age by then, which meant the sexual teachings started. It had to wait till you were finally assigned to your prince, since he would head your 'studies'. You were to learn what he liked, how he liked it and so on. It was a rumor by that point, and many girls were unbothered by this. It made sense and they were okay with it since they would be future wives anyway, and some were even looking forward to it. You didn't hate Yuta, not anything close. You did like him, but… You decided then that you had to give up on the younger Prince. You were Yuta's, and that was final. You also learned that the girls that fell through the cracks more or less joined a brothel, modern day gisaeng for the princes and their friends. Not only did the girls graduate in April, so did the princes. And that meant everything changed. You wouldn't say that they turned into scoundrels, but finally they were more-or-less unrestrained, so they let loose. Parties. Drinking. Sex. Lots of it. You never asked about the other princes, not wanting to learn that your beloved prince had fallen into debauchery as well. Their personalities hadn't changed, they weren't abusive or even rude, but they turned into animals. You heard that Ten and his friends had full orgies with his girls and the extras. You knew when Johnny showed up that something utterly filthy was about to go down.

Taeyong seemed to be more restrained, but he was somewhat selfish. He didn't want to share his Petals, but that didn't mean that it wasn't just as naughty what happened in his quarters. Doyoung preferred more low-key engagements, but just because there was only one girl in his bed didn't mean they weren't going at it for hours on end. The only first-hand knowledge you had was with Yuta. Obviously. Honestly, you seemed to be corrupted more and quicker than the other girls. It was one of the few times you felt like you could be yourself, not constantly worried about doing and saying the right things. It was a good outlet as well for all the emotions you pushed down and hid. You were open to most things, mostly because Yuta was by no means selfish. You preferred the more carnal and kinky acts honestly; you weren’t sure you could ‘make love’ to him. The only thing that first gave you pause was when he asked if you would be okay with two of his friends joining. No other girls, just the three guys and you. It was a bit scary at first, and you wondered if your future husband had some sort of fetish, but his reasoning shocked you.

"You let me do whatever I want, Hiyomi. I want to spoil you." He spoke between kisses along your neck, your shoulder exposed from where his shirt had fallen over it. Yuta wasn't that big for a man, but he was bigger than you, his clothes baggy on your body. If you asked him, he probably would be okay with just one wife. And it would be you. You wished it wasn't though. Even with the comparatively few interactions you had over the years with Kun, you had hopelessly fallen for him, and you were content to pine after him in the distance for the rest of your life. That was better than nothing at all.

"W-which friends?" You shivered as his fingers ran over your back under the garment you had on, one finger slipping under the waist band of your lacey panties.

"Jungwoo. Mark?" His arms wrapped around you and pulled you down further into his lap, his hard cock straining against his pants. It seemed the thought alone turned him on. Those two? That was fine. Most of the princes' friends were shared, but Yuta was the closest with the two he offered. It made sense. It was odd at first to think about it, but if you weren’t sleeping with Yuta out of love, then it wouldn’t be too much different with them. And, based off what you knew the other girls did, it was actually relatively mild.

"You don't have to, sweetheart." Yuta nuzzled under your ear, and you sighed.

"That’s fine." It became a somewhat regular occurrence. And, as far as you knew, the other girls were not in a similar arrangement. But they knew, or at least, knew parts. This made them hate you more, they saw it as favor. It was one thing for a prince to indulge himself in three women, it was another for one woman to get ravished by a prince and his two friends. That was the ultimate sign of favor, you were good enough to not just get solo access to Yuta whenever but get the same treatment from his two just-as-attractive friends. The other girls knew, but they didn’t realize it was a common thing, just once in a blue moon. You didn't talk about it, because you knew how the others would be with it, and it honestly made you want Kun more. Somehow. Even with three men only wanting to please you, you wanted more… Not more, just someone else. 

~*~*~

You had a close call though, you almost got found out. There was some big event that the princes were having, some formal party. It wasn't a drunken orgy or anything, almost like some kind of game night with all their friends. All of the girls went as well, it was supposed to be childish fun. You hated it. Not minding cuddling up with Yuta, you hated doing it with all the girls glaring at you. Mostly the other four in your group, because it made his favor toward you all the more obvious. You managed to get through the night, taking the chance to watch Kun without restraint when they decided to start some karaoke. He was the second-best singer after Doyoung, but none of the brothers were slouches. Some of their friends were pretty good themselves, could have been their jobs. It wasn't you ogling him while he sang that gave you away though. And, either fortunately, or horribly, Kun was the one that noticed. The guys were all taking random pictures together, and you stood at the side watching, honestly enjoying the random things they were doing. At some point Kun ended up sitting on the floor, holding up his closest friend, Chenle, so he didn't fall off of Jeno's back where he stood. You covered your mouth and giggled, eyes flicking to Kun as they tried to hold the pose for the picture. His eyes flashed to meet yours and you felt yours grow wide. He smiled, straight at you, and not the sweet one he normally gave at formal events or to diplomats and other public figures. It was a smirk, and it was the sexiest thing you had ever seen. You knew your face was once again red as a cherry, you could feel the heat leaving your skin. You quickly avoided his look; hand going to try and cover your face as you slipped away from the crowd and toward the restroom. You splashed cold water on your face, then met your own frazzled gaze in the mirror. Taking a few deep breaths, you moved to leave but heard voices in the hall, so you halted.

"You know that Jingxian girl is a bitch, right?" The voice was familiar, but quieter than you were used to, so you almost didn't recognize it was Chenle.

"That's harsh." Another person replied. Renjun?

"It's true." That was Yangyang.

"Wait, was she the one who threw her soup at that maid while they were in Europe?" Renjun asked.

"Yeah. She also apparently pretty much stole some girl's necklace that she liked when she went to Japan with…I think her name is Eiko?" Chenle replied.

"Kun-ge told me that she had taken some book from one of Yuta's girls and threw it in a fountain. It was signed or something. He made her replace it and she had to pay like a million won." Your arm jerked away from the handle then. Yuta told you a maid had done it on accident…

"Was it the quiet one he got the leather satchel for?" You shook your head a bit in shock. Yuta got that for you…you thought.

"He told me he tried to get Yuta to let him have her in the beginning, but he said no." Chenle continued, and their voices faded as they continued down the hall. Your head was swimming and your heart had started to race again. There was nothing you could do if all that was true. You were Yuta's, and that was final.

~*~*~

There was a final straw for the other Sakuras though. At it would be their downfall it seemed, and they only fell because they weren’t careful when trying to push you over the edge first.

You were in the lounge, the area big enough to easily accommodate all of the girls and let them have all kinds of fun. Your favorite place was on the top bunk, of essentially a bunk-couch. Instead of a bunk bed, there was a nice soft couch with a wooden loft over it, and another couch on top with ladder-like staircase to get you up on. That was your favorite place. It was removed from the central conversation-pit-like area where most of the girls gathered. They would play drinking games and tell all sorts of lurid stories and secrets, while you would sit under the dim light of a lamp and read.

"Hiyomi, come here!" The girl that called you, Eiko, was the second eldest of your group. She was the only one that was actually Japanese herself, but even then, she was given a different name. You each were granted one from Yuta himself, you weren't even sure he knew any of your real names. Your birthnames didn't matter anymore.

Sighing, you reluctantly put your bookmark in your novel and trudged over to the group. Not everyone was there, Ten's girls were probably off getting drunk and defiled, and three of Taeyong's were with him abroad. Sitting down gently in an armchair, you smoothed your skirt down as you did and stiffly rested back.

"We're playing truth or dare." Of course they were.

"Okay?" They never invited you to play anything or do anything with them unless they were forced to. The competition had gotten much worse lately. As the Princes all approached the grand age of 25, they would finally choose their main wife. You were in the lead, to no one's surprise, but to everyone's chagrin. Yours included. You shot a quick glance at Jingxian. She was the forerunner of the Ursas…Kun's favorite seemingly. She was refined, elegant, beautiful. To many she was kind, sweet, but she was cold to you. She was never rude in person and as far as you know, after the book incident she didn't do anything. That was better than cruel though. She was close with Eiko, and you assumed that was why she disliked you so much, since Eiko cared so little for you. You didn't associate much with any of Kun's girls, but still you hated them. No, that wasn't the right word, you envied them. The worst thing was, you knew that Jingxian didn't love Kun. Just like you didn't love Yuta. She was enamored with Taeyong. Well, maybe not him, but his status. He was the crown prince, which would mean she could be queen if she was chosen. You weren't sure who else knew this, but you knew it was grounds for her to be more-or-less banished. If you really wished, you could out her, and get her kicked out, but what was the point? That wouldn't help you any, and there was no point in lashing out at her out of jealousy. That would make you just like all the others.

"Come sit here." Eiko was being way to friendly, which made you way suspicious. You followed her prompt though; you were the youngest after all. There was an empty soju bottle in the middle, the girls clearly having finished it off earlier.

"I'll start." One of the Petals started; her name was Anjeong. She spun the bottle, and you held your breath, only sighing gently in relief when it landed on Eunhwa, the eldest Bunny.

"Truth or dare, unni?"

"Hm." Eunhwa tapped her finger on her chin, "truth."

"How big is Prince Doyoung's cock?" She prompted and the girls chattered with curiosity. You zoned out then, knowing how this whole thing was going to go. Your eyes drifted to watch the gas flames in the fireplace. As you glanced back at the bottle as it was spun again, not even hearing her answer, your eyes passed over Lumei. She was the maknae of the Ursas, and you hated her the most. You could have been her; she was only about a month younger than you. She didn't seem to notice your glare and she giggled when the bottle landed on her when Eunhwa spun it.

"Truth or Dare, Lumei?"

"Dare!" She decided quickly and Eunhwa looked thoughtful for a second, looking around. She smirked and cast a devilish look at Jingxian before looking back to Lumei.

"Show us what Prince Kun's favorite position is." You wondered if they noticed you go still. Completely. You couldn't show a reaction, you didn't want to let any of them know your secret. They would use it to assassinate you. Jingxian scoffed at the question, over-dramatically.

"I don't think she's can." She grinned coyly, taking a sip of her wine and Lumei sent her a playful sneer.

"Honestly, I can't really show you, because I myself can't do it. But…" Lumei looked around and then climbed onto the couch behind her. She sat on it backwards, knees on the back of the couch, back to the cushion, her head hanging over the edge, hair flowing to the floor. She opened her mouth wide and just sat there a second, the other Ursas giggling. Your jaw clenched, eyes stinging, but you still didn't move.

"Her gag reflex is too sensitive." Jingxian pressed on her throat, and she hacked, sitting up to catch her breath around laughs.

"I can't even open my mouth that wide…" Mianyu mumbled, and the girls chattered and giggled. Your tongue ran over your lips, and you pondered if you could. You were all too familiar with that position Lumei mimicked, and at first you had been disgusted at her pose. But now you would enjoy it with Yuta more, you could imagine Kun instead. Like you often did. Your gag reflex was practically nonexistent, whether it was genetics or a fluke, it had always been that way.

"Okay!" Your eyes flicked to the bottle as Lumei spun it, still giggling, clearly tipsy. You sagged in relief when the bottle landed on Aikiro then. She was your biggest rival…in her eyes anyway. She outright despised you, she felt she should be the favorite just because she was the ‘leader’. Okay…whatever.

"Trush or dare?" The Ursa maknae hiccupped and you wondered if the blood going to her head made her drunker.

"Truth." She leaned back against the couch she sat in front of, sending a wry look your way. What did you do? You rolled your eyes and looked back at the fire.

"How many times have you done it with Yuta, and Jungwoo and Mark?" she asked, and silence fell over the group. Your eyes widened a bit, but you didn't look back to the group.

"You idiot!" Mianyu slapped the back of Lumei's head, and she yelped.

"What?" Aikiro nearly growled.

"W-well. I mean, everyone knows that Yuta invites them over a lot. Jinyu said…"

You felt four heated gazes fall on you and you licked your lips, looking slowly back at everyone else. Your eyes flicked to Jinyu who was staring at the floor, zoned out.

"What do you mean, a lot?" Aikiro looked back at Lumei who shriveled under her glare, pressing closer to Jingxian.

"E-every Friday." She replied. Before you could look back to your fellow Sakuras, you flinched as Aikiro stormed over, dumping her wine all over your head. You exhaled in shock, closing your eyes to prevent the alcohol from running into them.

"You fucking bitch! You told them? I bet you brag about it." You grit your teeth, reaching for the nearby tissue roll, but Eiko snatched it from your reach, her own drink joining. The fruity scent of whatever kind of pre-mixed cocktail she was drinking stung your nose and your hair started to drip.

"H-hey!" Gyuri, the kindest one there, the maknae of Doyoung's bunnies, tried. She really did try, but… You winced and grunted when a hand grabbed the back of your hair, yanking your head back so were forced to look up at the owner. Keiho was the oldest, out of all the girls actually, but she was the most cruel. She was the most two-faced as well. Your eyes flicked to her drink, expecting her to dump it on you as well, and your face fell. It was a bottled pina colada. Coconut. Everyone knew you were super allergic to it, couldn't even eat anything made in the same factory as coconut products.

"Hm, I wonder if you would like the taste of this?" Keiho took a sip before looking at the label on the bottle and she let go of your hair just long enough to let Eiko take over.

"Wait, Keiho-" Mianyu stood then, trying to go forward. Before she could get very far though, Jinyu grabbed her wrist, halting her. No one but you seemed to notice Gyuri slip away from the group and out the door. You prayed she was going to get help. Your heart was pounding, you were scared, legitimately. This wasn't a joke, not a game anymore. They were seriously out to hurt you. Keiho swirled the bottle a bit, and let it tip slightly, a drop falling from the mouth and landing on your cheek. It didn't take any more than five seconds for your skin to start itching, and the girls around you could see the skin already starting to redden, following the path of the drop before it landed on the floor. You tried to wiggle free at that point, out of Eiko's grip, but the final Sakura, Yumi, sat behind you in the chair, holding you in place. She giggled, leaning down to whisper in your ear.

"Should I tell them about Kun?" Her voice was so soft you almost didn't hear her. You froze then, eyes wide, looking toward Jingxian.

"She knows too, you know." Yumi whispered and then you saw the other woman smirk. The other girl still didn't let Mianyu go and help you. Aikiro kneeled then, joining Yumi in restraining you, her hand going to your face and pressing on your cheeks to force your mouth open. A tear fell from your eye, and you tried to shout, but Eiko's hand left your hair and landed on your throat. Not enough to cut off your air, but in just the right spot to silence you. Keiho swirled the drink again and was just about to tip it again, but she hesitated. Why? Your eyes met hers and she seemed to realize how bad it would be to do what she wanted, seeing the raising red welt on your face from just a drop. It wasn't like your tongue and throat would slowly swell shut, it could shut your body down faster than anyone could get help.

"Don't be a fucking coward." Jingxian snapped, slamming her wine glass down onto the side table so hard it sloshed from the glass. She snatched the bottle from Keiho, and she tipped it-

The sliding door slammed open, the loud noise startling her. The girls all looked in horror at the door, and you watched in terror as the bottle fell from her hand, the alcohol splashing onto you, and a swig or two fell into your still open mouth. You choked, trying to spit the liquid out, your mouth already burning, and the girls let you go as Yuta stormed into the room and straight to you.

"Hiyomi!" You spat more out, nearly tempted to force yourself to throw up…if you even could. Your mouth and face burned, your skin and eyes itched, and tears fell from your eyes as your head grew foggy. You were already wheezing, and Yuta was at your side immediately. A second person landed on your other side.

"Sit her up." You let Yuta move you, slumping back into him and watching blearily as the nurse brought the EpiPen down and injected the medicine into your thigh. You felt some relief at the moment, and you grew tired quickly but your breathing was still shallow. The nurse went ahead and injected the second shot and your body seemed to get enough relief that it wanted rest then.

"Hiyomi!" A third voice hit your ears and you blearily looked to see someone else dash in, heading for you as you fell unconscious.

 ~*~*~

You awoke to the sound of beeping, and distant voices. You blinked to clear your vision and it was clear you were in a hospital. You cringed, looking down at the IV in your arm…You really preferred it in your hand. You felt like you couldn’t bend your arm, and they had put it on your dominant side to boot. Groaning, you adjusted in the bed, your body and head felt heavy. The voices got louder; you could recognize one was Yuta's.

"They did it on purpose, everyone knows how allergic she is to coconut."

"I'm not saying what they did wasn't bad, but are you really okay with getting rid of your entire harem but Hiyomi?" It was another man, a voice you only ever heard in person once. It was the King.

"Father, if I had to pick only one wife, ever, it would be her. She was going to be my main wife anyway. I think having five of them is ridiculous anyway."

"Yuta-"

"I'm not the heir, anyway, so why does it matter?" You didn't hear a response if there was one.

"What about Jingxian and Jinyu?" Jinyu? She was there, but she hadn't done anything that you remembered.

"Get rid of them." Kun's voice was clear. And sharp.

"Didn't you tell me Jingxian was most likely your choice?"

"Not anymore."

"Jinyu too, then?"

"Wasn't it her idea?" Silence.

"Yuta, did what those six tell you not matter?"

"What?" Kun asked then, confused. You strained to hear Yuta's response.

"Yumi. She…she told me that Hiyomi likes you." Finally, your prince spoke. You heard the beeping of your heart monitor increase and felt it in your chest.

"Your highness, I found it!" A maid's voice joined, and you furrowed your brow, listening.

"There's a lock on it." What?

"Just snap it off." Your mouth went dry. Your journal. How'd she know about it? You were more than careful. Or so you thought.

"Did Miss Janyeon have the key to her lock box?"

"Yessir." Fuck. But, if the King requested, it wasn't like she could refuse. That was it. You were out. At least you didn't die.

"I knew all this." Yuta's soft voice was loud in your ears and your breath hitched. What?

"You did?" Kun and the King asked at the same time.

"She's careful. But I know her too well by this point."

"Why didn't you say anything?" the King prompted.

"She was mine, that's all I cared about. It was selfish, but… It is a bit worse than I thought." Yuta huffed.

"What do you want to do, Kun?" Their father moved on.

"It's up to her." It was hard to read his tone, and even in the other room, you could feel the tension rise just by the lack of response from Yuta.

"She's mine." His tone was harsh, you had only heard him angry one other time. Right before you passed out. It felt like minutes of silence passed.

"If that's what she wants." Kun spoke finally.

"I think we owe her a decision, since she went through such an ordeal. It’s impressive she kept it hidden so well, and didn't ever act on it, or act out against the other girls. I might not be around much, but your mothers are, and they tell me everything. She's brave and strong for all the shit the other girls put her through. For now, let's keep it hidden we all know, let her choose her next actions without interference. If she chooses Kun, what will you do Yuta?"

"If you love something, you gotta learn to let it go." His defeated tone made your throat clench. You didn't want to hurt him, you really cared for Yuta. You also knew that your feelings for Kun were borderline insane, if not straight-out irrational. It was infatuation, you weren't allowed to get close enough to him to call it love. You were starting to realize then, that it was probably Yuta's doing. Especially if he knew. Maybe that was why he kept you at his side if the others were around, you thought it might be to protect you from the other girls…

"That's a lot different than what you said three years ago."

"Fuck off."

"Yuta, if you allow her to choose Kun instead, you won't have anyone. It would look bad on me." their father pressed.

"If she leaves me, I'll abdicate." You gasped at that. Yuta was second born, even if he wasn't the crown prince, he was closer to the throne than anyone else. He was right after Taeyong, which would put him in a high position when the eldest became King.

"Yuta-"

"If Kun ditches his girls. If Hiyomi chooses you, you can only have her. She deserves the world, and you better fucking give it to her." You closed your eyes, a tear leaving your eye as you made your own decision. No matter how desperately you had wanted Kun the last four years, Yuta was willing to risk everything for you. You couldn't let him do that.

"Would it look bad for the third-born to have one wife?" Kun asked then and you clenched your jaw, the beeping on the machine picking up. You glanced at it, not sure how to read the numbers, worried if you got any more emotional it would set it off.

"I'm going to tell you boys something that no one else can know. Doyoung already requested that he only marry Gyuri. He's tired of dealing with the girls' drama. Ten doesn't care much for an actual marriage to anyone. Taeyong is willing to have the harem if he's king, since it was the deal for the imperial alliance. He already chose Sooyoung to be the crown princess. I remember when I was your age, all of the crap the girls did to each other, the backstabbing, the gossip. The only girl I've seen that hasn't played into any of it was Hiyomi. Even your mothers love her. If she chose Yuta, what would you do Kun?" More silence.

"If that's what she wants-"

"What the fuck do you want?" Yuta spat.

"Honestly? I want to take her from you. I have for years. I know you said, father, to let her decide without us interfering, but… I'm not going to just sit by." The King sighed so hard that you heard it, your head was spinning trying to process everything.

"If she feels safe with it, I want to bring those six to her. Make them apologize. Hiyomi can decide if they will simply be expelled or if she wants to press charges legally." Your mind ran rampant in that moment. The king was letting you decide? All of your hurt and anger, resentment, jealousy; everything bubbled inside.

"I will have someone speak to Mianyu and Lumei as well. I have a hard time believing they had no part to play, or at least that they didn't know." The king finished and the conversation died, and you assumed they left. A door opened and you realized they had been in the room next door, sharing the wall that was behind your head. Your own door started to open, and you partially shut your eyes, pretending that you just woke up.

"Miss Hiyomi?" A woman spoke a nurse entered, with Yuta behind her. No one else.

"Yes?" You opened your eyes more, continuing the act.

"Do you know where you are?"

"The hospital." You hadn’t hit your head, why wouldn’t you know?

"It was good the nurse had those EpiPens ready, you had a very quick and severe reaction. We're going to keep you here overnight and if all is good, you can go back tomorrow." The nurse smiled and then left after taking note of your vitals, leaving you with Yuta. He sat in the chair next to your bedside, taking your hand in his.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like crap." You admitted and he couldn't help but sigh with a defeated smile.

"I would think. Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"Could I have some water first?"

"Oh!" He got up and went to get what you requested, probably from a vending machine or something. You hated tap water… Yuta returned, and he helped you sit the bed up more as you took a swig from the bottle. You noticed his brow furrow, and his thumb rubbed over your cheek, it must have been a bit red still.

"What happened, (Y/N)?" You nearly choked, luckily you hadn't taken a sip.

"W-what?"

"(Y/N)." He reiterated and you closed the bottle, lip quivering a bit. It had been so long since you heard that name…

"I didn't know you knew my real name." you whispered.

"I shouldn't. But I asked." You had a hard time meeting his eye, so you just rested back, eyes closed.

"I was stupid. I was just reading, and they invited me over to play truth or dare." You huffed in annoyance, "I was suspicious immediately, but I went along with it. I…" You didn't want him to know you heard their conversation, or that you knew he knew about your feelings for Kun.

"I hadn't even been picked, but Lumei asked Aikiro about…about Jungwoo and Mark." You finally looked at him and he nodded, realization painting over his worried expression.

"It was clear that only I get the…privilege." You weren’t sure what else to call it.

"Aikiro got pissed and so she dumped her wine on me. Eiko dumped her cocktail on me and they with Yumi held me while Keiho threatened to make me drink her pina colada." His brow instantly furrowed, anger clearly taking over. But he was the quiet, scary angry type.

"Keiho hesitated, so Jingxian grabbed it from her and decided to do it herself…" You shivered a bit, feeling angry yourself. You never felt so mad. Sad, upset, hurt, frustrated? Yes. Not anger, not the rage you felt taking over.

"What about Jinyu?"

"Jinyu?" You played along. Yuta sighed.

"Apparently it was her idea. We decided that those six need to go. Father wants them to apologize first. He said it was up to you if they get expelled or if you want to get the police involved." You knew all of that already, but you were able to put on a bewildered expression.

"I can decide?" Your prince didn't say anything, and you wondered if he was thinking about his willingness to let you decide about him, or Kun.

"Yes, of course."

"What…what about you and them?" He didn't look at you and you wondered how he would word what you already knew.

"I only need you." He told you softly and you tried to hide your wince.

"Will you meet with them? You don't have to."

"No, I want to hear them apologize. And I want to tell them they're expelled. And I want to press charges." You turned your determined gaze to Yuta; he had never seen you look so harsh. But it made him smile.

"Good."

~*~*~

The doctors determined you were good to be discharged the next day and when you got back to the Sakuras’ dorm, it didn't look any different. You then remembered you wanted to be the one to tell them they were expelled, so you got to. The rest of them weren't in there, but there were maids scurrying about in their bedrooms, packing up their stuff.

"Hiyomi!" You turned as the head handmaiden came in and her hands went to your face, looking you over.

"You poor child." She sighed after you told her in detail what you went through.

"I'm sorry I had to help them find your diary." She pulled the journal out of the top of her hanbok, the lock had been broken off.

"It's okay." You took it from her, "did you look at it?"

"No, child. I know how to respect someone's privacy." You nodded in thanks, and she left to attend to other duties and so you entered your own room. Nothing had been touched, at least it seemed that way, but you still checked. Finding everything was in line, you got changed into something a bit more formal for the rest of the day. Looking in the mirror, you put on the brown and black plaid jacket that matched your skirt. Adding the beret of the same pattern, you pulled it further back, then readjusted your thigh-high socks. After, since you had about an hour to kill before you were supposed to confront the girls, you rummaged through your things. Many of your nicer accessories and little trinkets were from Yuta. Your mind went back to the conversation you had overhead nearly three years prior. Plucking the familiar book off your shelf, you looked over it, the spine was wrinkled from many read-throughs and the signature was in a slightly different spot than the original. It was your favorite book, and it made sense why Jingxian targeted it, but how did she know? Probably Eiko… You then looked at your leather satchel, you used it constantly, and you had nearly forgotten that apparently, Yuta hadn't got it for you. Did Kun really get it instead? Or did he suggest it? Get it for Yuta to give you? You didn't know. The other little gifts started to leave a sour taste in your mouth, making you wonder if he had lied about any of the rest. Your glass paperweight in the shape of a cat went missing, and supposedly a maid found it in your laundry, so he brought it back. A set of manga you liked had a limited edition only sold in Japan that he got for your birthday. But…he hadn't been in Japan when they were on sale. Kun had been though. Letting your thoughts loop into the negative, you gathered all of your gifts, minus the bag, and piled them on your desk. The bag was a practical item, so it was allowed some grace, but you wanted to ditch the rest for some reason. Why did you feel so mad at Yuta? It wasn't like he did anything wrong, technically, he just continued to act like he didn't know about your feelings for his half-brother.

"Lady Hiyomi?" A soft voice called after a knock on your door. A younger maid had come to escort you to a sitting room where you were to meet with the girls. Swallowing the few nerves you had, surprisingly, you followed after her and entered the room. It was empty, no one else was there-

"(Y/N)." You startled, only noticing Kun as you got further into the room. He was sitting on the couch under a window, and you wondered why Yuta wasn't there. He looked gorgeous as always; his hair dyed a dirty blonde and slightly wavy, and he had on a navy and white letterman jacket.

"(Y/N)?" If Yuta wasn't supposed to know your real name, how did Kun? That didn't matter, you were there with him, alone. And he was coming toward you. That's when you got nervous, and you gripped your hands together to hide their quaking.

"Yuta told me. I…I needed to show you something before everyone else gets here." He pulled his phone from his back pocket, and you glanced up at his face to see his clearly upset expression. He tapped on the device, and you heard an audio recording start.

"Can you help me or not?"

Yuta?

"I can, but what's in it for me?"

Was that…Jinyu?

"I'll make it so you can leave. Get out of here." "What do you want me to do?" "Come up with the plan yourself but figure out a way for the other four Sakuras to get expelled." "Can't you do it yourself?" "Not without a reason. Public image and shit. I really don't care about the rest of them, I just want Hiyomi. Can you do it?" "Probably. You wanted me to drag Jingxian too, right?" "Please. She's gotten on my last fucking nerve. She has to know about Hiyomi and Kun, why else would she be such a bitch?" "I know that's it. What was the last thing she did again?" "Something petty, poured bleach on her favorite dress. I got her a new one and she didn't even notice, but…" "How many things have you replaced?" "Like seventeen or something crazy. Those are just the ones she doesn't know I did, too." "You know, if you weren't my cousin, I wouldn't do this." "Bullshit, you know that's not why. We're only second cousins." "I'm serious, Yuta. I couldn't care less about the others." "Even Kun?" "Kind of hard to like your future husband when you're a lesbian."

It was clear there was more to the recording, but he cut it off. You were silent for some time, trying to process everything you just heard. You stumbled and Kun quickly pocketed his phone and reached out to stabilize you, then led you to the couch.

"Did…did Yuta know what the plan was?"

"I doubt it. But…it still was partly because of him." You slumped against the back cushion, resting your cheek on it, mind swirling. Your hat fell from its place, and you just pulled it all the way off.

"W-what do you make of it?" You needed more information; your emotions were so turbulent you couldn't even decide for yourself what to feel.

"Well…I know Jingxian was such a bitch because I like you." He just straight out admitted it and your body froze, your default response. He must have noticed the jolt you gave as your body stiffened and his hand went to your chin, prompting you to look up at him. Being so close to him, it took your breath away, he was even more stunning up close. And his eyes were so gentle and warm, not the same sharp heat you normally got from Yuta.

"Honestly, early on I tried to get Yuta to let you go, so I could have you instead, but he refused." Kun sighed, then huffed with dry amusement, "I'll admit I'm a little crazy when it comes to you."

"Birds of a feather…" You mumbled and he let your face go and you just slumped against the couch again.

"You know how Yuta gets you two presents for your birthday?"

"One's from you, huh?" You guessed accurately it seemed.

"How-"

"A few years back, I overhead your friends in the hall. They said that you made Jingxian replace my signed book. I know my bag was from you. Looking at it now, those gifts make a lot more sense. They would be so different from each other. Yuta would get me a pretty set of earrings and a necklace, but then there would be a full book series. Or instead of nice shoes, it would be a galaxy print. The year-long pass to the planetarium?" Kun was more of an intellectual than Yuta for sure, he was the only one of the princes that went to college. That was part of the reason you liked him so much, he was more similar to you than anyone else there. You knew that even with the restricted amount of time you had around each other.

"How did you get that recording?" You asked when it seemed he was struggling to find a response. He glanced up at you, head still bowed, dirty blonde bangs falling over his brow.

"Jinyu sent it to me with a caveat. She made me promise that you wouldn't press charges against her. She doesn't mind the expulsion, would welcome it…"

"Did you know that she was…?"

"Yeah. She told me early on."

"Yes, it was her idea, but… Yuta prompted her, and if you promised her that, I'll respect it." Your expression hardened then, so quickly it made Kun raise his brow in surprise.

"I can't believe him. I know…" You swallowed hard, "I guess he did it because he loves me. Or that might be what he says, but for all this time…" You exhaled hard through your nose, brow furrowing.

"Yes, I want to get back at the girls even past kicking them out, pressing legal charges. They put me through so much shit for so long…And I shouldn't be this mad at Yuta, but… I want to get back at him too." Your last sentence was much quieter, you felt ashamed of your rage toward him, but that recording just bubbled everything over. You looked up then, fully to make eye contact with Kun.

"I just…I don’t know how. Help me?" The other prince hummed, leaning into the back cushion himself, looking pensive.

"I shouldn't be as sadistic as I want…" Your phone alarm went off then, meaning the others would be coming rather soon.

"Think on it, I'll go with what you plan." You told him, standing to adjust your clothes. Stepping over to a mirror, you put your hat back on, fixing your rumpled hair as well. The king was coming too after all. As you primped, Kun stepped up behind you so you could see him in the reflection as well. He wasn't any taller than Yuta, but that did still put him nearly a head taller than you since you weren't in heels. You gasped, watching his arms wrap around you from behind, his cheek pressing against the side of your head. The black fabric of his sleeve smelled amazing, like him of course. Your heart started to beat so hard you were sure he could hear it, maybe even feel it where his chest met your back.

"Tell me, what does Hiyomi mean? Do you know?"

"Something with sunlight and beauty." You had learned Japanese in your training, but that didn't mean you knew name etymology. Yuta had mentioned it before though.

"How do you like Yuhua?" You assumed it was something similar…was he already thinking of picking a different name for you? Honestly, it was the next best after your birthname.

"Perfect." You whispered and nearly whined when he pulled away abruptly, the door opening not even thirty seconds later. Your posture immediately corrected itself, and you bowed your head as the King entered, followed by Yuta, then the six girls were escorted in by a few of the royal guards. Though, they looked more like federal agents…

"Sit." One of them ordered and the clearly dismayed girls followed. There was still evidence of mascara running and their faces were blotchy and red. They weren't in their fancy clothes either, having been dressed in clothes similar to the uniforms worn as trainees. Plain pleated skirts and button ups with a cardigan. For once, you weren't the plainest dressed one in the room, and you felt more smug than angry looking over them.

"Come here, child." The king prompted and you stepped to his side at his prompting, head still bowed to avoid looking at his face. You didn't notice the glare Yuta had sent Kun's way when he realized he had arrived there early. And that he had access to you without your prince being there as well.

"Tell them, Hiyomi." He motioned with his hand, and you turned to face them fully. They were clearly shocked by your cold gaze, and your eyes met Jinyu's. She looked significantly less nervous, and it was clear she was putting on an act.

"Expel them, please, your highness." The five other girls had various reactions, all forced down and if glares could kill, Jingxian would succeed in her mission.

"Of course. Now, you six. Apologize." The King's tone was hard, and the girls shakily stood and moved to face you. They clearly didn't want to do what followed, but they had little choice. They fell slowly to their knees, and bowed low, foreheads on their hands pressed to the floor. You barely registered the clearly scripted words they spoke, and you turned to look over your shoulder at the princes. Your gaze first went to Yuta, and it was clear he had no idea that you knew everything. He gave you his classic smile, but it just pissed you off then. You then looked at Kun and he gave a subtle nod.

"Jinyu can go." You then noted and the King was curious why you only let her go, but he allowed it. He knew there was something unspoken since Jinyu seemed to sag in relief as she left.

"We'll tell them the rest, father. Would you mind leaving us to it?" Kun stepped forward and his father turned to look back at him. They exchanged something unspoken through their gaze.

"Very well." He nodded and he left along with the guards, who stayed stationed outside the door as it closed.

"Hiyomi?" Yuta stepped up closer, but you ignored him, going to where the girls had sat back down. The other Sakuras looked a bit more nervous, but Jingxian was steaming. All of her hard work over the years, desperate to get whatever wealth and power she could, gone. The sneer she shot you pissed you off, hand flying up without thought, smacking her hard enough to snap her head to the side. She just sat there, not looking back at you. Not sure what to say to them, you turned and looked at Kun who was in the same spot, a little behind his slightly older brother. A smug look fell on his face, and he stepped around the other prince, shedding his letterman-style jacket and laying it on the table. You wanted to swoon as he rolled the sleeves of his white button-up, so they bunched above his elbows. Paired with his watch and the ring he had on his index finger, it was so little, but so hot. Yuta must have noticed how your expression changed, recognized it even, but you knew it was different than anything you gave him.

Kun sidled up next to you and he raised a brow, silently asking if you were ready. You nodded so slightly, with a tiny hum and you gasped as his hand grabbed your chin. The move was a bit rough, but your gasp was of delight, not fear or shock. His eyes were still warm, and he had the sexy grin back, your thighs twitched along with your core.

"You know, it’s a shame that only Yuta could get a girl so good." His grip softened, and he cupped your jaw instead. The room was so quiet you could hear Jingxian's jaw clench and made her teeth grind against each other. Kun's face was so close to yours that you felt his breath on your lips.

"Kun, what are you-" Yuta started, coming closer.

"But it's also a shame that she got stuck with him." His tone was incredibly patronizing, derisive and you just took the chance to bask in his presence and attention as he pulled his phone back out, stepping back slightly. He still had the audio clip paused where he left it off before, and you saw then it was half-way through.

"At least you only have to deal with one guy. He also knows. I have to get it up for four other sluts I couldn't care less for."

 The four other Sakuras gasped, and your eyes flicked to look at Kun's phone, but his hand at your jaw turned you back to focus on him. It was hard to get mad with the following audio while looking over him, so close to you. You didn't even care to look and see what Yuta's expression was. He had frozen, just behind his half-brother, almost scared to move.

"Viagra?" "No, I just pretend they're Hiyomi. Hard to do though. Eiko's so fucking annoying and won't shut up. Sounds like a bad porno. Aikiro still doesn't know what the fuck she's doing even after training for a year and more. Yumi has no stamina and is selfish to boot. Keiho-"

Your eyes flicked to the phone again, waiting for him to finish. It seemed he paused to take a drink or something, because the audio kept progressing.

"Keiho is a fraud. She thinks I don't know that she goes to Ten's little orgies or whatever. I know she's slept with half of the guard too."

All the girls looked at Keiho then, her cheeks that were bright red with anger were now horribly pale.

"She acts like she wants stuff vanilla, loving. I know she can only get satisfied with two cocks in her."

Kun shut it off then, only a few seconds left but you had heard enough. How dare he criticize Keiho when he was the one that brought his friends in to fuck you at the same time? Did he think it would be flattering that he only thinks of you when he's with the others?

"Hiyomi-" Yuta tried to start, and you wanted to push around Kun, smack his stupid pretty face. But you trusted the other prince to come up with the best thing he could. He already tore down the girls, that much was obvious from their faces and the devastated looks they sent Yuta.

"Despite his supposed love for you, sweetheart, it’s a shame you don't feel the same." Since it wasn't directed at you, and it would still be incredibly hot if it was, the smug sadistic grin he had riled you up all the more. Kun hummed, prompting you to respond and he chuckled at the dazed look you had.

"No, I don't." It was like he was some kind of drug; your thoughts were foggy, and you needed more of him. He had taken out the girls, they looked like all the fight had been ripped from them, slumped on the couch. It had hit Yuta too, but not enough, not yet. Though, Kun needed to finish Jingxian first.

"Do you know how hard it was for me? From the moment I saw you, I wanted you. The only reason I was going to choose Jingxian was because I hate her. I couldn't live with myself if you weren't my wife, my princess, but I didn't want to hurt the other girls. They didn't deserve the hurt like her. She's a horrible human being and she seemed all the worse compared to you, (Y/N)." Hearing him say your real name again did it, you were head over heels in love with him and you thanked whatever higher being finally graced you with something good. All of the shit you had put up with came to the best moment of your life, knowing Kun wanted you just as badly as you wanted him. Even if you both knew it was crazy, even sick; at least you could be lovesick together. The final hit to the girls, hidden from Yuta since Kun blocked you from his sight, was the extremely gentle kiss he pressed to your forehead, followed by him gently brushing his nose over yours.

"Guards, take them to the police." The prince let your chin go, just enough so he could step back so as not to shout in your ear. The door opened and the suits came in, quite literally hauling the girls away, Jingxian now just as broken as the others.

"Only one left." You whispered when Kun came back to you. He shifted where you stood with a hand on your lower back, making you visible to Yuta then.

"Show him you're mine." He told you and it seemed your minds were linked. At graduation, each girl would kneel before the prince and swear their loyalty, almost like being coronated. You sank to your knees, but you looked up at him instead. The normally practiced display of reverence for a girl's monarch was corrupted by the desire you looked at him with, and he you. You were submitting to him as a man, not as a higher-up, nor a prince. He grinned when your hands gripped his belt, not moving to remove it, but the implication was clear-

"You fucker." Yuta shot forward, hand burying in Kun's shirt and yanking him away from you. You flinched back as Kun was pulled away and you quickly stood as the brothers stared each other down.

"You lost, Yuta. Move on, she's mine now. Ready to abdicate?" You flinched back with a gasp, hands covering your mouth as Yuta's fist moved toward his brother's face. Kun deftly moved his head the little bit he had to for the blow to miss.

"Wait!" You tried to weasel your way between them before the elder landed a punch on the younger. Even though they were the same height, Kun was bigger, Yuta had a hard time gaining any kind of bulk and he looked like a twig next to the other prince. While he wasn't the most muscular man you knew, he was outright perfect to you, and it was clear he was strong because Yuta barely budged him with his tug on his shirt, he moved with the pull. That was beside the point… You got back at Yuta, what happened was enough, you could tell by the hurt etched into his face. Your anger had immediately dissipated, a better solution hitting your mind. Neither of them knew you had heard the full conversation the day before, but that didn't change that you had.

"Don't abdicate. You already are losing your harem, but you told Kun to only have me, right?" Both men were clearly shocked that at your words and you took the chance to shove Yuta off, standing in front of Kun, clearly in a show of protection. Like you could really do anything…

"Y-yes." Your prince's voice was soft and rough. He didn't deserve how much you really wanted to wreck him. Your rationality had kicked in, logic taking over, he was already defeated.

"We’ll tell the press that the other four turned against me because I didn't want to be involved with you. Turn it on me. You take the three from Kun, and I go to him. You're second born, you can't just give up those rights-"

"(Y/N), I don't want to be a prince without you as my princess." Your chin quivered a bit at his tone, his eyes glassy.

"And I don't want to be a princess without Kun as my prince." You countered. You needed to break his heart for him to let you go. You didn’t turn to look at the other man even though Yuta's eyes flashed to look over your shoulder.

"Take the other three, add two more from wherever, do whatever. Wouldn't you rather move on and find someone else than love me and know I don't feel the same? If you love something let it go? Do you think I want to be restricted to you, when I love someone else?"

"You love him?" You didn't respond to his question. It wasn't the real definition of love, it wasn't that pure, but you had some twisted loyalty to Kun that you never did for Yuta.

"Do you love me?" You pushed back. You weren't sure, it seemed somewhat like you were a trophy, a luxury item that he might adore, but…

"You're supposed to be mine." He didn't answer the question. Not directly.

"You don't love me, I’m just your favorite. You liked that I didn't fight the other girls tooth and nail just to get your attention. You liked the challenge. If you really cared you would have told me all the shit that Jingxian did, and the others, I'm sure. You never even bothered to learn who I was, getting me pretty, girly things. You played up the romance but never did anything I liked with me. I might have been in your bed the most, but I wasn't in your heart."

"And you were in Kun's?" Yuta nearly spat, not trying to defend himself, because you were right.

"What's her favorite thing?" The man behind you cut in and you turned to look at him. You didn't answer, genuinely curious if Yuta knew, because he never acted on it…

"Books."

"Wrong. Space. She goes out at night to watch the stars. All her books are science-fiction. Her favorite sweatshirt is of the milky way and if there's ever a special event at the planetarium, she's there." How did he know all of that? The other prince was silent, clearly not sure what to do or say next. His eyes went back to you, and you couldn't meet his look, and stepped closer to Kun.

"Favorite animal?" Kun continued.

"Dogs-"

"Goats. She just can't have one as a pet, she asked. The keychain on her bag is a goat. So is the plushie she takes with her on out-of-country flights. She tells people she likes dogs because it's more accepted.”

"Her favorite color is dark purple because it looks like the night sky. She loves snow but hates rain. She's the only girl fluent in all four languages. She hates moths and loves fireflies." He kept going and you wondered how he knew all that. Though…it was all things that were more or less common knowledge, things your friends knew. It wasn't creepy, just observant, and it should be things Yuta knew. But, based on his face, he really didn't.

"He loves planes. He took lessons to learn to fly one. He loves cats but doesn't have one because Lumei is allergic. He wears a lot of black and white, but he always uses a blue pen because he likes blue too. He hates cold weather; he knows how to cook, and he even is scared of butterflies." You smiled softly, realizing all the things he knew about you, you pretty much knew about him as well. It was things you overheard while near him or figured out by watching him from afar. After an uncomfortable silence, you finally looked up to meet Yuta's gaze.

"I'll go talk to father. I'll… if you ever break her heart, I'll fucking kill you." The prince exhaled, seeming to get some kind of closure and he stepped closer, reaching for you. Midway though, his hand stopped, and his eyes flicked to the side, at your earrings.

"They're moons." He noticed.

"Yes." Your voice was quiet, and the prince dropped his hand, cast one more look to his brother, and left. Watching him go was…a relief. You thought you might feel something else, be a little sad, or hurt, but you just felt at ease. As you turned to face Kun once more, he was already there, his hands at your jaw and he pulled you to him, kissing you so hard your teeth clashed against his. The force of him pulling you into him knocked your hat off, falling to the floor. You whimpered, hands holding his wrists as you try to meet his fervor. Your butt hit the table when he turned you with his leg wedging between yours. One hand left your jaw to cup the back of your head, blunt nails scratching your scalp. The other hand found its way to your waist, then his arm snaked around your middle, helping you up to sit on the table. Kun finally pulled away, both of you panting and your dazed eyes met his sharp ones.

"Fuck." He sighed, leaning forward and resting his forehead on your shoulder. His hands rested on the table, holding him up so he didn't rest his full weight on you, and he stood there for a while. You pressed your cheek to his soft hair, basking in him finally being so close to you. Slowly, you brought your arms up, shaking, and wrapped them around his shoulders. The hug was quickly returned, Kun enveloping you back, and you pressed your face into his chest. With your ear over his heart, you closed your eyes, listening to it beat, soaking in the scent of his cologne. Neither of you really wanted to pull back, but never-the-less did so. He took your hands in his, bringing them up so he could kiss them.

"I need to talk to father as well, sweetheart," his hand cupped your cheek, thumb rubbing your soft skin, "wait for me."

Due to formalities and legalities, you weren't Kun's right away. Because of all the rules, you both were moved into a guest house more or less, still on the royal campus, but not one of the official palaces. You had to wait for nearly a week as the ministers convened, trying to figure out what the hell to do. Taeyong remained the heir and was the only one that kept the harem as promised. Yuta didn't abdicate, but he didn't rebuild his harem either. He ended up moving to Japan then, becoming the ambassador for that part of the empire. Kun adopted most of his roles and rights, and it was well received by the public that he wanted to marry for love instead. He wasn't the heir, so the ministers didn't mind too much. Ten had some of his privileges revoked when it was revealed how debaucherously he was living, but he didn't mind. Doyoung too gave up his harem, minus Gyuri. A lot of things changed fast, but it was welcome. Finally, once everything was official, you stood in the middle of the foyer of your new home, watching people mill about as they moved the final things in. Looking around, you startled when someone snuck up behind you, hugging you.

"It's done, sweetheart." Kun nuzzled behind your ear, and you bit your lip, giggling.

"Once everyone leaves, I'm going to take you, since your mine now."

Part 2: Up Close (Smut)

Master-Master List

NCT Master List

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

Art Tag

Thanks for putting this together @deathclassic! and thanks for the tag @spookygingerr

Have you always been interested in creating art? : Yes from day one

What's your favorite medium to use? If digital, what programs do you like? I use digital (procreate) most often now, not sure if it's my favorite but it's easier/cheaper than playing with all the mediums I like to use and allows for a little more freedom to play and experiment

Do you create outside of fandom? Yes! I draw and/or paint almost every day in my sketchbook and I work in architectural design so I sketch ideas with co-workers/clients

Share something you haven't finished and/or never got around to posting. Ooof so this haunts me - I have always always wanted to put together a full comic, so I had planned to make a comic version of my fic In Your Love, it's ultimately too much work ... so much potential, absolutely no time

Favorite piece you've made?

Sooo hard bc my favorite piece is for a fic I did but haven't posted yet... very soon though! Until then, my favorite piece is the watercolor I did for the fanart masquerade

Draw your icon in a minute or less - hey bud!

An underrated piece you've made in your opinion

Idk, I like this one and it doesn't have very many notes

Do you do art in a professional setting?

I do a lot of representational architectural drawings - like the Gallagher House drawings I did a little while back

A piece you don't like but did really well on social media. Honestly I really like all the pieces I've done - I either give up or gaslight myself into loving them

Post an old piece and compare it to your most recent, what are the similarities?

Honestly my style changes all the time but my skills have been pretty consistent so theres not going to be anything shocking

Have you ever collaborated with another artist/s?

I've only collaborated with a writer and created art for our gallavich summer camp bunk - which was really really fun

What piece has the most notes? Are you surprised?

Not super surprised, I think it's pretty lovely

Who/What is your favorite subject matter? I love making art that coincides with the fics that I write! after thinking about a scene or world or vibe for so long while writing I want to put it down on paper visually

Show us something not from fandom you've made There's so much, idk have some watercolor buildings, I'm too lazy to curate anything

Where do you like to create? At my table or couch, I don't usually draw out and about for some reason idk why

Do you have a tag that you use to group your creations? Tell us so people can follow it. No but all my art can be found here

Give yourself a shoutout, where can we commission/buy/follow you for more pieces? I don't take commissions or sell pieces, but follow me here on tumblr and you can probably talk me into drawing something you have in mind

tagging: @burninface @matt404b @deedala @doshiart

@heymrspatel @creepkinginc @suzy-queued

[xpiester333x]

Here's my review on Metaphor: Refantazio after being 5h in and not quite done with the demo:

First let me say if you're on the fence about getting this game or not, try the demo. It's available on Steam, PS, and Xbox. It's free. It's ~5h, more or less depending on how much you want to play around with it. The save data can carry over if you decide to buy the game. See if it's fun for you. I talk about performance and graphics on my PC, but see how it works on your system too.

And with that, on to my review.

Graphics & Performance:

I saw a lot of Steam reviews saying they were having a lot of performance issues with the game, even on high-end computers. I didn't really experience anything like that. There was one scene really early in the demo, like an intro narrator bit where it was panning over a map and for some reason that did have some dropped frames and stuttering, but it was only for those 5 seconds and I haven't had a repeat since. I did max the graphics settings and uncap the frames and still had no issues.

I should also say, I don't have a super high-end computer. However, my computer is still pretty nice so maybe on much lower end PCs there would be some issues. I tried min settings as well and honestly didn't see too much of a difference in quality. If you did need to run it in lower graphics, it would still look fantastic.

And it DOES look fantastic. I've noticed there is a lot of different art styles going on. There are animated cutscenes just like in persona where you kind of just watch an anime. There are gameplay cutscenes, where you are watching the 3D characters models in their scene. I noticed the surroundings take on the same level and detail as the characters in these scenes. Then you have the gameplay graphics, which have an almost stylized sort of living painting feel to them.

You'd think having that many styles going on would be chaotic and immersion ruining but honestly it's kind of seamless.

Gameplay:

As is typical of an Atlus game, I'm only just barely getting out of the tutorial, even being 5 hours in. Now that I'm kind of getting into the flow of combat, I genuinely really like it. I wasn't sure how I was going to like a combat system so different from their current IPs (what do you mean there is no demons??) But overall I think they've managed to keep the spirit of their games alive and well while still trying something new for them. I also love that they stuck with the P5R system of being able to kill enemies lower than you without having to go through the whole turn based process, but also made it slightly more involved. They're really leaned into the hybrid action/turn-based gameplay and it's very satisfying.

Archetypes hold the spirit of personas or demons in that you can level them up and build them to suit your characters, but they come with the advantage of your entire party getting to mix and match. Also like personas, you strengthen and enhance them more through social bonds. Thus far in the demo I've gotten as far as unlocking them so I'm not really sure how ranking them plays out quite yet.

By far my favorite part of the game play right now is that if your protagonist dies, it's NOT game over. In fact as long as you have 1 party member standing, the show will go on. Also at the end of the fight your dead characters will revive (with 1hp) and still gain all the xp from the fight.

Some really cool bits that I personally think make the game more fun and challenging: there are many different status effects, but they are divided into 2 categories, physical and mental. Mental status effects expire after the battle, but physical status effects persist. It's a cool little blend of old JRPG punishment with new age JRPG simplicity. (Ask me how I feel about it later when I'm suffering.) Also turn icons, like in SMT, are back. They work relatively the same, which I've always found to be fun, but does make the game a little more challenging. And finally, there is auto-battling if you want to engage it. It will repeat the actions you used prior to engaging it, so if you have a flow going, it does make that kind if easier.

My complaints so far are: for the first few battle areas, your party members are on auto. It's not really fun, and frankly their AI is bad. It's not a long time, but it's more than I liked to see. Also enemies can spawn in right in front of, next to, or behind you where they were not before. This makes it harder (impossible if youre me) to avoid getting ambushed, and honestly feels counterintuitive for a game that's primary gameplay design is strategicly deciding when to attack and when to engage in turn-based combat.

Story:

I am 5 hours in, which in the terms of Atlus games is like, .5%. So I can't really tell you a ton about the story yet. I can say it's interesting. The whole concept is something so fresh for Atlus, and I am eager to know more about the story, the world, the different races, the humans, everything. They have built a solid foundation I absolutely want to see the completion of.

And the characters? I would die for them. Atlus has proven they can write characters with strong bonds and beautiful friendships that will make me go absolutely feral and I can already tell this is where these characters are going as well. I cannot wait. Plus the character designing in this game is above and beyond.

In conclusion, this game has so much potential and promise. I can already tell it's going to be an experience to play though (in a positive way). It's doing a lot that feels very new for Atlus, while remaining true to their current franchises and what makes them so good. I had my doubts about their releasing a brand new IP for their 35th anniversary, but honestly this is perfect. This game pays homage to what already makes their games so good while also showcasing a broad future.

Oh and the soundtrack is absolutely insane. It's Shoji Meguro so of course it's great but I'd be remiss not to mention it anyway.

[princemick]

I’m obsessed with your coloring, sharpening and grain. Do you mind doing a tutoral or sharing your settings?

hell yea I can! I haven't done an updated gif tutorial in ages so here is

kyle princemick's 2024 gifmaking process!

alright class, sit down, shut up, raise your hand if you have questions and I might answer them. today we're going to be making this gif together!

there are a few steps to this

record settings

import and timeline

sharpening

basic colour

export

for this tutorial you need the newest version of photoshop but previous knowledge of giffing is not needed

record settings

I use OBS and screen record. my video settings are:

and output is:

if I live gif I change the 'common FPS values' to 30 as it makes it easier/faster to export but for now we're gonna use a recording of 60 fps where the thing I recorded is of higher quality.

2. import and timeline

importing your recorded video is easy peasy you just drop your video into your photoshop homescreen. after you do that, this should be your view

if you dont see the bottom blue timeline go to window and make sure 'timeline' is selected.

now, because this is recorded w high quality n 60 fps the frames that are in our fimeline rn go real fast, to slow it down we're gonna go to the little play button on the side of our blue timeline and change the speed to 50%

after this we're going to change the length of our gif.

because we recorded at 60 fps it works best to keep the eventual gif at 60 fps. on the timeline this means 2f. for most gifsets I like 2/3 gifs so I either make the full timeline 4f or 6f.

for this we're just going to make it one gif so with the little arrows on the side im going to slide it down until it's the length I want.

then I'm going to play the timeline and put my marker when I want the gif to start. I move my 2 frame selection tool to the start of the moment I want to gif.

then you have a bunch of timeline still left that you wont need so I'm going to delete that part by making the video smaller.

in the end I will have a single 60 frame video left on my timeline.

3. sharpening

so, sharpening is all personal preference and I highly recommend taking mine or other people's settings and playing around with it until it works for you!

now for my settings and proccess.

we're going to convert our video layer to get ready for smart filters, you do this by making sure your layer is selected and then you go to filers -> convert for smart filters

now we're going to crop it. this is again, all personal preference BUT tumblr prefers 5:7 or 1:1.

if you go to the little crop icon on your toolbar you have a bunch of size presets all ready for you

for this gif I'm going to use the 5:7.

now atp I do smth a lil different then a lot of other people tend to do and I dont know how much I recommend doing it either bc it makes the process a lot longer but it makes me like the way my gifs look the most. so I have stuck to it for the last 2+ yrs.

we're gonna go to imagine -> image size and then I like making my with size 900.

540 is what tumblr likes most, it's smaller and when you export it like that tumblr will read your full gif so there won't be need for the 'click for higher quality'

but for me it makes the gifs really low quality so I export and make my gifs at 900 unless I am live giffing bc when I export at 540 it exports quicker.

anyway, so the gif is 900 by 642. we're gonna go to sharpening now. my process is pretty long but the steps go like this

(all these smart filters are under the filter -> sharpen tab)

1: smart sharpen

2: gaussian blur

3: add noise

4: smart sharpen

5: smart sharpen

I tend to play around with the amount and radius of the last smart sharpen layer all depending on what I prefer for that gifset specifically.

now your gif layer should look like this

now your sharpening is done. you can keep it like this or add colouring.

4. basic colour

my colouring is...complex a lot of the time and it changes with every gif I make but there is some basic stuff I always stick to.

colouring itself is a bunch of adjustment layers which you can find at the bottom of your layers here

for colouring steps one of the first things I tend to use is 'curves' to up the contrast of my gif

then I use 'color balance' to neutralize the colours, I personally like it when my gifs are a little more on the colder side.

then I add a layer of 'exposure' to make the contrast even heavier.

then for my personal colouring I always go into hue/saturation to play around w lips/blush.

and lastly I always go into selective colour to change the colour more specifically.

there's a bunch of different stuff you can add and change but that's all personal preference but the only thing you have to keep in mind is skintone, especially when it comes to poc. (which is y u see the massive colour change in the selective colour one, that's me trying to neutralize his undertones again)

you have to make sure that you dont make someones skin to light or overplay someones red/yellow undertones. (which I am personally also still working on and learning abt)

here is a really good tutorial on how to colour black skin

5. export

and now, the easiest part, export. if you go to file -> export ->

then this window will show up. you're free to copy my settings, most of these things don't really matter that much to know anything.

the only thing semi important is the top right one that says colours: 128. that is the amount if colours the gif will read, I tend to export on 128 instead of 256 because tumblr won't accept gifs bigger then 10M and the more colours the bigger the gif.

now if you just click on export while your gifset is 900 x 642 your gifset will deff be over 10M. I make it smaller by changing the width of the gif by the 'image size'

I tend to starts w the W: at 700, it most of the time makes the size small enough, down at the bottom left is where you have to look to check until your gifsize is under 10

if you make your gif 700 and it's still bigger then 700 just go smaller until its under that 10m. I dont make my gifs smaller then 500 though, then the quality will truly suffer.

obviously the gif quality will be the best the bigger it is.

thats it! youre done, a gif is made and coloured.

hopefully this was understanable if it wasnt you're very free to ask questions abt anything else in my process!!

good luck and have fun ! <3

[heymrspatel]

ART TAG

thanks for tagging me @deathclassic @kiennilove @suzy-queued @doshiart and @sgtmickeyslaughter 🥰💙

Have you always been interested in creating art? i have, yea! i've been drawing for as long as i can remember!

What's your favourite medium to use? If digital, what programs do you like? right now i would say digital since it's what i use the most nowadays. i use procreate on an ipad that is about to give out on me (and i really really need it to NOT do that).

Do you create outside of fandom? yea, i make silly little sketches for myself almost daily. just to stay sane while i work a corporate 9-5. those will never see the light of day.

Share something you haven't finished and/or never got around to posting this is like 90% done... but i never posted it because i didn't feel good with it at the time lol like something was off and i felt like i would have to undo too much to get it where i wanted it to be... (does this make sense?)

Favourite piece you've made? this is hard! i feel like it changes all the time? i'm going to go with this one because i really like how the background turned out and because i'm a soft bitch

Draw your icon in a minute or less hehe his cheeks

An underrated piece you've made in your opinion 'baby boy' idk i think it's really soft and lovely

but also, a lot of the kinktober pieces… i’ve been so so so very proud of them because they’re so vulnerable and i think i did a nice job with some of them, but they don’t quite take off 😅

Do you do art in a professional setting? i do not. my work is the furthest thing i could get from being creative.

A piece you don't like but did really well on social media uuuhhh i think i'll skip this one! simply because i could pick apart probably everything i've ever posted lol!

Post an old piece and compare it to your most recent, what are the similarites? i'm not going to do my most recent because it's kinktober and i also went for a pretty different style... SO! i'll do the first comic style one i did and the latest one!

the color palette is still the same, they're still very soft and gone for each other, i really love a gentle face hold!

Have you ever collaborated with another artist/s? i don't think i have? but i've collaborated with a couple of writers to make some pieces for their fics!

What piece has the most notes? Are you surprised? roadtrip boys! i'm not really surprised, not for nothing but i did my thing here. there's lots of details, storytelling, dreamy colors. i get it.

Who/What is your favourite subject matter? tbh it's landscapes or mundane still lifes...lol!! "julissa, not bowls of fruit!", everyone cried! you'd be correct. not that. but everyday kind of humdrum but meaningful pieces. atmospheric. yanking you back to a point in time. - i did a drawing of my grandma's vanity once. with her lipsticks and little lotions and stuff. like that.

Show us something not from fandom you've made here go:

Where do you like to create? on my couch. absolutely hunched over like a shrimp.

Do you have a tag that you use to group your creations? Tell us so people can follow it i do! i put everything under myart

Give yourself a shoutout, where can we commission/buy/follow you for more pieces? i don't do commissions or have anything for sale and i also don't exist anywhere else lamdsflj i'm just here and i crosspost on ao3 💙

i'll tag @deedala @michellemisfit @gallapiech @lingy910y @vintagelacerosette @gallawitchxx @spookygingerr @romidoes if you'd like to play! if not, this is just me giving you a little nose boop!

[crazyk-imagine]

Call All You Want

Pairing: Leonard "Wolfman" Wolfe (Henry "Wolfman" Ruth) x Fem!reader

Characters: Fem!reader, Carole Bradshaw, Charlotte "Charlie" Blackwood, Leonard "Wolfman" Wolfe, Nick "Goose" Bradshaw, Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Sarah Kazansky, Tom "Iceman" Kazansky, Ron "Slider" Kerner, Charles "Chipper" Piper, Marcus "Sundown" Williams, Sam "Merlin" Wells, Rick "Hollywood" Neven, Baby Wolfman (Howler)

Warnings: Angst, fluff, slight club au, the reader and Leo have a fight, this started off as a different idea but I don't hate this, the gang is at the club, Mav and Goose chaos, Goose making fun of Ice and Slider, Ice and Ron being a slightly less chaotic duo, the other guys being club boys, slight crack behavior, Chipper is a cage dancer lol, Ice talks like he's had experience before with dancers, mentions of pregnancy, I cannot get enough of this man, I love writing for him so effing much, Wolfman fics cure depression, in my mind it's canon Wolfman's kids are nicknamed howler

Word Count: 4,671

A/N: Was this inspired by the iconic song Telephone that I hadn't listened to since I was a kid and came up with this idea? Maybe

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello, hello, baby You called, I can't hear a thing I have got no service In the club, you see, see

You’re barely two minutes into the club when your phone starts buzzing (again). You take your phone out of your pocket, “hello?”

“-ey want to talk with y- but-”

“I can’t hear you, Leonard. We just got here. I don't think there's any service here. Can you hear me?” You hold a finger to your ear with your free hand to try and listen to him better.

“Break- ing up wi- you…”

You don't hear anything else after that.

Wha-wha-what did you say? Oh, you're breaking up on me Sorry, I cannot hear you I'm kinda busy

“You- you’re breaking up with me?”

“N- over the- phone.”

“Yeah, I heard you loud and clear earlier today and now.” You scoff, “don’t call me anymore tonight.” You hang up on him and head over towards the girls, who are waiting for you at the bar. “I am done dealing with idiots for the night. Have we ordered yet?”

Carole glances over at Charlotte with a concerned expression, the latter looking back at her with raised brows.

“What happened?” The former asks.

“I thought we could talk when I got home but I guess not.”

“Why?” Charlie chimes in.

K-kinda busy K-kinda busy Sorry, I cannot hear you I'm kinda busy

You shrug, “don’t really know what happened and don’t want to talk about it besides we’re here to enjoy our girls’ night.”

After waiting for Sarah to finish her big drink order, she makes way for you three. "Ladies, what are we having?"

It shouldn't have taken as long as it did but with her having to work and train a new bartender, it took a while before you got your drinks.

The lieutenant grabs the drinks while your longtime friend pulls you towards a free table.

You roll your eyes and shove your phone further into your pocket.

"Is he still calling?" Carole asks.

You stare at her with pursed lips, taking a sip of your drink. "Of course, he is. What else does this man have to do other than bother me and try to make things right? I'd appreciate it more if I wasn't annoyed."

Just a second It's my favorite song they're gonna play And I cannot text you with A drink in my hand, eh You shoulda made some plans with me

Charlotte takes her seat beside the blonde, setting the drinks down. “I miss anything while trailing behind you two?"

"He's still calling," she says with a bored tone.

"You haven't blocked him?"

"Why would I?" You look at her over your glass with furrowed brows.

"Because he's an idiot, who tried to pick a fight over something stupid, I'm sure and you deserve to enjoy yourself without him calling."

Carole shrugs, "I mean, she could do that, or she can come with me," she grabs your hand, "to the dance floor."

You stop her, "I don't know."

"Just let go for a little bit," Charlotte adds, helping the other girl try and pull you onto the dance floor.

"But-"

"Nope," they shake their heads and haul you onto the floor.

You knew that I was free And now you won't stop calling me I'm kinda busy Stop callin', stop callin' I don't wanna think any more

You sneak away from the two, checking your phone. You sigh, debating on answering him or leaving him on read.

“Don’t respond to his text,” Carole tells you, glancing over your shoulder. “We’re busy, like you said we can enjoy the night.”

You turn to her, “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“I know, honey.”

“Take me away or let me lose my mind forever?”

She chuckles, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “That’s my line and I only use with my Goose.”

You playfully groan, “don’t talk about your sex life with me.”

“I never do, you just assume.”

“And you have to stop lightly implying what you and your hubby do.”

“But your facial expressions are my favorite thing, and they make my day.”

“The moon is out.”

She rolls her eyes, “okay, they make my nights too.”

I left my head and heart on the dance floor Stop callin', stop callin' I don't wanna talk anymore I got my head and my heart on the dance floor Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

Charlotte breaks away from the dance floor, standing in front of you two. “Okay, ladies. Are we going to keep talking or dance so we can forget about our troubles?”

“I like the second option,” the blonde says.

“Great, we’re doing this.” She turns around and spots a familiar face along with a few others. “Jesus,” she mumbles to herself. “You two go to the dance floor while I,” she shakes her cup, rattling the ice in the empty glass. “Get a refill.”

Carole notices the expression on her face and the way her eyes linger at the door. She turns and sees the guys walking into the club. She mentally face palms at the sight of her goofy husband waving his hand around like a mad man. “Come on, it’s time to dance.” She pulls you away before you can see anything or anyone that could ruin your mood.

You were barely able to take a sip of your drink before being hauled off. You don’t know what to do with this whole thing.

Is it considered a fight? You don’t know.

You’ve never known Leonard to act this way before.

He loves the guys; they’ve become his family so the little teasing comments shouldn’t have made him as upset as they did.

When it first happened, you didn’t know what to think; his attitude at the Top Gun barbecue was normal.

You close your eyes and wave your arms in the air (making you feel like the popular/ party girl in the movies), letting your annoyance escape you. It takes a lot for his anger to get the best of him.

Stop telephonin' me Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh I'm busy, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh Stop telephonin' me

The comments weren’t even that bad, the more you think about it; if anything, they were more endearing for Leonard but- you still don’t understand why he lost his composure today.

You lower your hands onto your head, trying to figure out what could have happened. You know it didn't happen in the morning because he was happy since he was going to be practicing in the air and that always made him happy no matter what.

Breakfast was good, you sent him off with a kiss as usual and he got to use the phone which was shocking since he normally can't because the other guys get to it before him.

The call was good, you could hear Rick asking him about you and trying to steal the phone from him.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh Call all you want, but there's no one home And you're not gonna reach my telephone Out in the club, and I'm sippin' that bub And you're not gonna reach my telephone

Pete stops in front of Charlie first. "How's my favorite girl?"

She raises a brow and purses her lip, "you tell me. Your number one hasn't come by yet so you'll have to wait until then."

He chuckles and places a hand over his chest. "You wound me, honey."

"It's a gift." She takes a step forward. "Do you want to tell me why all of you are when you know we were trying to have a girl’s night?"

A nervous chuckle escapes him as he scratches the back of his head. "You see I was trying to stop," he gulps. "Wolf- Wolfman but he got past us, and we had to follow him."

"Is that all?"

He nods, "pretty sure, yeah. Goose?"

"Huh?" The mustached man lowers his head to try and hear better over the music.

"We followed Wolf because he got past us, right?"

"Oh, yeah. He just-" he lightly claps his hand and extends his arm and whistles, "went right past us and here we are."

"And that has nothing to do with the other guys here?"

They glance over their shoulders.

"Ice is here for his girl. Slider is looking for company, if you know what I mean," Nick explains, raising his brows to emphasize his innuendo.

She sighs, "when don't I?"

He merely smiles at her comment. "Merlin wanted to tag along and- uh- other guys weren't busy."

She looks around for the man of the hour.

Call all you want, but there's no one home And you're not gonna reach my telephone Out in the club, and I'm sippin' that bub And you're not gonna reach my telephone

"Where is he?"

Now the two are confused.

"He's not here?" Pete asks.

"He was just behind us," Nick adds.

They turn to one another. "Wasn't he behind you?"

"No. I thought he was with you."

"No, see, Mav. You've got it wrong. I came in first, like we discussed then you were supposed to come in with Wolf and make it seem like we met here by accident."

Charlotte tilts her head, crossing her arms. "And you two said it was a coincidence that you all were here."

"Dammit, Mav. You got us caught!" He smacks his arm.

"I got us caught? I'm not the one who just exposed us and our plan."

"Fine, fine." The mustached man rolls his eyes, "we're both to blame."

"I don't think so."

"Are these two idiots giving you a hard time?" Tom asks her.

She smiles and shakes her head, "unfortunately no but maybe you two can answer why you're all here?"

Tom and Ron glance at each other.

"Moral support and to get him a date," the man with frosted tips informs her.

"I told you I could get my own date."

"You've been doing jack with the way you complain about being single."

Those two-start arguing alongside the other duo leaving Charlotte with a growing headache. "Why do I ask?"

Boy, the way you blowin' up my phone Won't make me leave no faster Put my coat on faster Leave my girls no faster I shoulda left my phone at home

You don't feel the buzzing of your phone, too into your thoughts.

Was today anything special? No, if it was, you'd both have it on your calendars because you know you both aren’t the best with dates.

Could it have been an important Top Gun thing you needed to do and forgot about? No.

Everything that could go wrong or has gone wrong before has been crossed off your mental list.

'Cause this is a disaster Callin' like a collector Sorry, I cannot answer Not that I don't like you I'm just at a party

He taps Carole's shoulder. "Can I talk to her?"

She avoids his gaze. "I don't know if that's such a good idea, Wolf."

"I just- I want to talk to her. This place sucks with service so I couldn't tell her over the phone. Please," he pulls out his puppy dog eye expression, knowing whenever he uses it on anyone, they cave.

She sighs. "Am I going to regret this?"

He immediately shakes his head. "No, this is going to be good for us. I'm- I got this."

"If, and only if, you're sure."

"I am."

She smiles and pats his shoulder. "Go, get her stud."

He chuckles, making sure she makes it to her husband (who's distracting the other blonde with ease).

You still can't figure it out for the life of you, but you do know that you want to stomp on your phone and break it. You open your eyes and grab your phone. "What?" You growl. "You've been ringing me off the hook since we left. I told you we'll talk when I get home- why is there music coming from your line?"

"Turn around."

"What?"

And I am sick and tired Of my phone ringin' Sometimes I feel like I live in Grand Central Station Tonight I'm not takin' no calls

You spin around and find him standing just a few feet from you. You hang up and place it back into your pocket, walking closer towards him. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk."

"You wanted to talk?"

He takes a step towards you. "Can we please talk about this elsewhere?"

"I don't want to talk to you after you kept endlessly blowing up my phone and then-" You stop when he pulls you away from the dance floor. "Hey. I wasn't done."

He stops when you two stops at your table, it's the only spot in the place that isn't jam packed with other people. "I know you weren't, but I want to be able to hear you when you scream at me and scrunch that nose of yours because you can't avoid me."

You cross your arms, rolling your eyes. "Why are you here?"

"I want to talk."

"Did you think maybe I didn't?"

"The service here sucks so how could I tell what you did or didn't want to do?"

"You think my ignoring you was for fun?"

He shrugs, "honestly, I think the both of us haven't been our usual selves today."

"You're one to talk."

"Can we- can we please not do this?"

"Do what?" You uncross your arms. "I'm acting perfectly fine."

"I don't want this to become a fight."

"It's a little too late since this is where we are, just a few steps away from fighting?"

He straightens his posture. "I'm trying to fix what I started. I don't- I don't like it when we fight."

"Neither do I but it's really hard when one of you doesn't think it's worth talking about."

"It's not that."

'Cause I'll be dancin' 'Cause I'll be dancin' 'Cause I'll be dancin' Tonight I'm not takin' no calls 'Cause I'll be dancin'

You reach forward and grab his hand. "Then what is it because I can't change anything if you don't talk to me."

He doesn't say anything else as his shoulders hunch over.

"This is why I made plans because you're not willing to talk." You remove your hand from his. "Now, if you'll excuse me. I'll be going back onto the dance floor so one of us can clear their heads."

You start walking away, not sure if you should be listening to him breathing with how much he has been acting like an ass today. You don't want to waste your time with something he clearly doesn't want to talk about even though he acts like it.

He grabs your wrist and pulls you back towards the table. "Okay, okay. I'll- I'll tell you. It's just- it's a lot."

"You don't have to unpack it all now, you can tell me some or however much you want to but know I won't tell anyone because I don't need to share your business with anyone else. You know that which is why you've been pissing me off today."

He chuckles. "It' just," he sighs. "Today- today is an anniversary."

"Ours? Is it really?" You pull out your phone. "I thought we were better than that. We usually coordinate and-"

He grabs your phone, "you're right. It's not, it's one of mine."

You tilt your head. "One of yours?"

Stop callin', stop callin' I don't wanna think any more I left my head and my heart on the dance floor Stop callin', stop callin' I don't wanna talk any more I left my head and my heart on the dance floor

"What do you think they're talking about?" Nick leans back, asking his friend.

"I don't know. Maybe he's finally admitting why he's been off today," Pete told him.

"I mean, that'd be great, right? We wouldn't have to tiptoe around them and everything that's been going on."

Charlotte rolls her eyes, "would the two of you rather dance with each other than us?"

They push themselves off the other and return their attention to their partners.

"Where'd Ice and Slider go?" Nick asks his wife, looking around the room for their fellow crew mates.

"Maybe Ice got a girl for Slider?" His wife adds.

"You think those chumps managed to get a woman, like an actual woman and not the ones in their heads, to talk to them?" Nick stares at his wife like she's crazy.

"I do and you know they're not that bad."

"They may not be but they're not that nice either."

"It doesn't help that you and Mav pick on them."

"I'm sorry," he pushes her away slightly, keeping his hands on her hips. "Are you my wife or theirs because I'm not feeling very loved right now."

She smiles and steps closer, keeping her hands wrapped around his shoulders. "You know I'm yours, baby."

"Are you now?" He smirks.

She pecks his lips, "show me the way home or lose me forever, you punk."

He chuckles and resumes dancing with her while pulling her off the dance floor.

Stop callin', stop callin' I don't wanna think any more I left my head and my heart on the dance floor Stop callin', stop callin' I don't wanna talk any more I left my head and my heart on the dance floor

Sam, Rick, and Marcus sit in a corner enjoying their drinks while watching everyone mingle with their spouse and/ or significant other.

“Has anyone seen Chip since we got here?” Sam asks.

Rick shrugs, “not really, kind of lost him in the crowd as soon as we got in.”

“What's a cage dancer supposed to look like?”

The two turn to Marcus with confusion evident on their faces.

“What?” Sam starts.

“Where'd that come from?” Rick adds.

“I think Chip is up there,” he points to the cage on the second floor.

“Jesus,” Rick mutters. “How do you persuade a cage dancer out of a cage?”

They look at one another.

“I don't think any of us know the answer to that,” the blond adds.

“Should we try to get him down?” Marcus asks out loud.

“Leave him, he'll get out when he's ready,” Tom says, patting Rick's shoulder.

“It's always the quiet ones,” Ron mutters.

They all shake their heads, watching as one of their own has the time of his life.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh Stop telephonin' me Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

"The comments shouldn’t have bothered me, you know. I thought I was past this."

You furrow your brows. "Past what?"

"It's stupid."

You stand beside him, rubbing his upper back in a soothing manner. "It's not stupid if it's something that's bothering you."

He grabs your free hand that was resting on his shoulder, for support. "It's my parents’ anniversary."

"Oh."

He doesn't like talking about his family so this is all new for you and him.

"I don't talk about them because," he sighs. "My pops never treated my ma right and she never left him even though she should have. And there were people who used to say the same thing Mav and Goose were joking about, which wasn't that big of a deal but when I saw what day it was. I kind of-"

"Flipped out?"

He chuckles. "I wouldn't say that."

"Then what would you call it?"

He sighs before turning to face you and pulling you into his grasp. "Okay, maybe I did but it's only because you mean so much to me and I don't want us to end up like them. I don't want to end up like him, you know."

"We won't, you know why?"

I'm busy, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh Stop telephonin' me Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

He shakes his head.

"Because we're better. Yes, your parents didn't have the best relationship and your mother probably should have gotten out of that situation sooner but she didn't and hopefully got to live a long life where she got to see her kids grow up and get married or meet someone smart enough to keep their boyfriend at a distance."

He smirks, brushing his thumb on the back of your hand, against your knuckles. "Hey, now."

"I'm just saying."

"You can say all you want, and it won't change a thing, you know why?"

"Why?" He leans in, as if he's whispering a secret. "One way or another I'm getting a ring on that finger."

You avoid his gaze when he pulls back.

"You're looking a little flushed," he teases. "Do we need to step outside and get some air?"

You playfully shove him away, "no. I want to go back on the dance floor so I can get away from you."

He smiles, pulling you back into him. “You can't escape me, sweetheart."

You step towards him, standing toe to toe, "doesn't mean I can't try."

"You can try but it won't do you any good."

"I'm still going to try." You stomp your foot, knowing full well he's going to be right on your tail (exactly where you want him).

Can call all you want but there's no one home And you're not gonna reach my telephone 'Cause I'm out in the club and I'm sippin' that bub And you're not gonna reach my telephone

Tom glances over his shoulder when Sarah gestures to the dance floor where you and Leonard are, along with the (two) idiots and their girls.

Ron passes him, giving his buddy an ecstatic smile as he drags some poor girl with him.

"Jesus, where do you find them?" He mutters to himself.

She smiles and leans forward, "I told you things were going to get interesting when we left for the barbecue today."

"Yeah, yeah." He turns back to her. "What's a navy man got to do to get a free drink around here?" He playfully flirts with his girlfriend.

She rolls her eyes, "still gotta pay, pilot."

He groans, "are you sure? I think I can be pretty persuasive if I need to."

"Not today."

He sighs, pulling out his wallet, "if I must."

She smiles at him, letting the other bartender working with her take care of the other customers until she's done talking to him.

There's no better customer than her boyfriend.

Call all you want but there's no one home And you're not gonna reach my telephone 'Cause I'm out in the club and I'm sippin' that bub And you're not gonna reach my telephone

You stand beside the girls and start dancing less out of control than you did when you first got to the dance floor.

The girls’ glance at one another and smile, happy to see the two of you talk and make up (like adults and stopped avoiding the other [more you than him]).

Pete turns to him with a raised brow while Nick stares at him with a hopeful expression and both brows raised, doing a thumb up thumbs down gesture.

Leonard smiles and shakes his head before wrapping his arms around you, pulling you closer.

"I'm glad you two finally figured your shit out."

You give the mustached man a sarcastic smile, "as sweet as ever, aren't you, Nick? How did Carole ever get so lucky?"

He smiles back, kissing the top of his wife's head. "I don't know, she's just- she chose the best of the best, I guess."

"I'm pretty sure that's what you say about your partner and Ice but, okay."

He scoffs, "why are you ruining a good moment?"

"How am I ruining it?"

"With your-" He waves his hand in front of your face.

You stick your tongue out at him and lean further into Leonard's arms.

He bends down, "do you want to go back and sit down?"

You shake your head and smile at him, "nope. I'm perfectly fine where I am."

My telephone M-m-my telephone 'Cause I'm out in the club and I'm sippin' that bub And you're not gonna reach my telephone

You three went to the bathroom to fix yourselves (adding a little extra lipstick… to leave marks) and went to the restroom before leaving. "It wasn't stupid."

They both glance at you in the mirror and ask, "what?"

"It wasn't stupid like you thought," you tell Charlotte. "It was something serious for him and I think tonight was good for us." You can’t fight the smile that sneaks its way onto your lips. “I think it made us closer than before.”

Carole smiles, “good, maybe it’s a good thing the guys snuck him in then.”

After that night you guys were better than before because you got to learn something else about him and learned more about how he got to become the man you see today, and that's something you wouldn't ever trade for.

Maybe other than-

My telephone M-m-my telephone 'Cause I'm out in the club and I'm sippin' that bub And you're not gonna reach my telephone

You stare at the ring on your finger.

"He's lucky, you know."

You turn to your longtime friend. "Who?"

She purses her lips and rolls her eyes. "You know who, you weirdo."

You suck in air through your teeth to exaggerate. "I don't know, Care. This little guy here seems lucky," you rub your protruding six-month pregnant belly. You lean as forward as you can, mumbling under your breath. "Lucky to stomp on my bladder and make his poor mother need to pee every five minutes."

"It's been at least ten minutes, a new record," she jokes, her laughter dying down when you don't join in. "At least he'll be home in a few."

"Not soon enough, I need his soothing hands."

"Oh, gross," she shrieks.

"Oh, don't be like that, you know what I mean and don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about. I swear he gives the best foot rubs, I've never had better and you're one to talk, missy. You always kindly refer to your sexual escapades with your hubby."

"I do not!"

The door opens and you two don't stop.

"Do too."

"Do not! I'm hurt, very hurt that you would even imply such a thing."

"I feel like I shouldn't have come in."

You turn to your fiancé and smile at him. "Don't feel like that. Now, come here. I swear I haven't seen you today."

He bends down and pecks your lips. "You just want me to give you a foot massage.”

You scoff, "how dare you." You sniffle, cover your eyes.

"Sweetheart, honey, I didn't mean to make you cry-"

"You didn't! This spawn of yours did."

"I'm gonna go," she whispers to him.

He nods and waves at her till she gets to the door. "How about I give my special girl a nice, long foot rub and we watch some of our favorites?" He rests his head on the arm of the couch. "Do you like that idea?"

You wipe your under eye and nod, glancing down at him, wondering how you ever got so lucky to find a guy like him.

"I'm the lucky one." He pecks your temple and starts grabbing stuff for your relaxing night.

"How did you know?"

"I'm psychic."

You narrow your eyes to him.

"I'd be a bad fiancé if I didn't know what you wanted."

Before you fall asleep, you swear you hear him whispering to the baby.

"-nd I told her I'd get a ring on her finger one way or another. You had nothing to do with it but that was some pretty funny timing, little howler."

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Tag list

For my fellow Wolfman lover <33 @callmemana @kmc1989 @blueoorchid

[dramatical]

screencapping with ffmpeg

hey friends, long time no write! today i'm gonna explain how to get image sequences (aka screencaps) from any video files using ffmpeg in the command line.

First, if you don't have ffmpeg please go an download from HERE and install it, here's how WINDOWS / MAC and once you're good to go we can start!

i have a windows os so i'm going to explain for that but i don't think it should be more complicated for macs if you know how to work on the command line, under the read more bc i used a lot of images lol

what we need:

a video player to get the proper timestamps we need, i use mpv but any video player will help tbh

make a folder for our screencaps

okay! so i'll be taking caps from a 4k video and i find my timestamps, this is my start (i don't have 4k movies on my computer, so you'll see my kpop boy lmao)

and this is the ending

i would recommend to set the timestamps a second earlier and a second after the video ends so there isn't frames missing if you want a complete scene, deleting caps from a folder is easier than doing the whole process again lol

on the folder your video is while having it selected, click on this icon to copy its path

now i go to the folder i made! in the path bar it should be like this on windows

we click on the blank part and write cmd and hit enter

the command line should open right now

we proceed to write the following command

ffmpeg -ss hh:mm:ss -to hh:mm:ss -i [paste path to the video] -compression_level=0 output_%04d.png

hh:mm:ss is how you imput your timestamp, it's the most accurate way of doing it

output_%04d.png: name the files will have, if you're capping several timestamps from the same video i would change the name output to anything (example part1_%04d.png for scene 1, part2_%04d.png for scene 2 and so on) otherwise ffmpeg will overwrite your caps every time, i know there's probably a workaround but i haven't researched to that point yet, i'll update later!

compression_level=0 : makes the png the highest quality possible, pngs are essentially lossless, but without this command i've found the file size is rather small even if the finished image doesn't have much difference. you could try not putting the command and see if there's a difference for you, the files will just be smaller

Update (240402): my ffmpeg doesn't seem to recognize the command for compression level as it's written here anymore, but fear not! If yours doesn't either it's just a matter of adding a space instead of an equal sign between the command and the 0. It works as it's supposed to!

on your command line should look like this

you hit enter and ffmpeg should start processing, once it's done it'll open a new line for you to keep doing things on that folder, but if you don't want to do anything else just close it. your folder should be filled now with your screencaps

to compare, i capped the same scene with mpv to see if there was any frame drop and i was pleasantly surprised that the amount of caps was basically the same (there wasn't frame dropping! just the regular more frames bc you were a little slow on stopping the process on mpv)

and the size is what mpv usually gives when screencapping too so it was a win for me

if you have any doubts ask me! or if you know more about ffmpeg and want to add on to the command i shared please do!

[et-cant-phone-home-no-signal]

The Last of Us HBO - Episode 2 thoughts

Warning: Pure yapping ahead! More thoughts and things I've noticed watching the show, it's not serious and I don't invite arguments (fellow yappers are more than welcome though)

(continuing with my episode by episode analysis of the tlou show, it's a long one folks! all chronologically written as i was watching the episode. spoilers under the cut)

Fantastic opening - love that we get to see the initial discovery in Jakarta and that they speak Indonesian only! It removes the show from a purely American pov and makes it international, which is something I personally missed a little from the game so it's a welcome addition

The little detail that the military men walk so fast, she has to jog a little to keep up

I like the fact that they didn't even try to cover the dead body at all - why would they?

Same girl I'd have that exact same reaction too 💀💀 visceral as shit

The following visual of the cordyceps reaching out of the corpse's mouth.... Eugh

Ibu Ratna's reaction after hearing 14 workers are missing - her shaking so badly she has to put her cup of tea down, her face reads of pure undiluted horror 🙌👌 - worth mentioning that the casting of Christine Hakim is absolutely top tier (she's basically the Dame Judi Dench of Indonesia fr) and she really brings a gravitas to the role

I find it fascinating and refreshing that the first thing the military man does is to ask about a vaccine or medicine to fix this situation, but the scientist/professor, instead says with absolutely certainty that there is nothing, and then proceeds to say with an eerily calm and assertive tone and face that they must bomb the city. Terrifying yet wonderful that they've finally used a different format to this conversation

Ibu Ratna stifling her sobs and asking to go be with her family, because she knows there is no other solution - Brava

That soft, gentle opening shot of Ellie curled up in the sun on a lush bed of green, a single butterfly crossing over *chef's kiss*

Her turning to see Joel and Tess, sat in the shadows on chairs, Joel with his gun drawn lmaooooo that's comedy right there

Ellie's sass at the interrogation 🤌

"There's not gonna be anything bad in here?" "Just you." "Oh, funny." 💀😂

The fact that Joel broke his hand beating that guy to death - the way Tess looks at Joel, all knowing and vaguely soft

Tess defending Ellie indirectly by wanting to continue with bringing her to the state house - Joel wanting to return to the QZ and saying it would be better for FEDRA do shoot her than them 💀

"You need to stop talking about this kid like she's got some kind of life in front of her." Damn Joel, Tess' face says it all

Joel: struggling to break of a piece of EXTREMELY dry and chewy jerky, Ellie: sammich

Ellie in the warm light, Joel in the cold dark, and Tess in the middle of the two?? Gorg

It's so funny how terribly Joel and Ellie get on at this point, like, they basically hate each other my god

"If she so much as twitches.." *Ellie immediately starts twitching* and then Tess's "Don't." She is so done with these two already lmao

The iconic scenery 🙌 the two massive skyscrapers with one leaning on the other? Oooohhh yeah

The fact that Tess stops and answers Ellie's questions :')

I can't stop looking at Ellie's bag it's just so accurate I love it

"Well, I mean, you got some balls on you, sister." SLAY girls support girls ✨

The specific way Ellie says "no" at the boyfriend question 💅

It's interesting that Tess' reaction to hearing the description of what we know to be a bloater, is "shit, I hope not", insinuating perhaps that she and Joel haven't dealt with those before, but then the way that she looks at Joel after Ellie asks about clickers tells me they know exactly what she's talking about with that one

Immediately after we hear a loud ass creepy scream in the distance, okay!

The set designers got this shit so extremely right goddamn, the hotel gotta be one of my favourite locations fr - I love that they still included this location even if it's at a completely different place in the original story, it works so well here and with Tess added on, the humour is great and the way the characters interact is fun and interesting (Joel's little hop into the water especially gets me, he's such a shit lmao)

Ellie is genuinely so fucking funny I love this kid

Joel offering his hand, immediately snatching it back once she's mostly up cause it's his broken one (but you can see it's more than that)

"Fuck, holy shit." "Come on, it wasn't that bad." "You try climbing ten fuckin floors with our knees. See how you feel." 😭😭

Joel's face at being left alone with Ellie lmao

"Nice knife." great conversation starter Joel, but also, reference to his pocket knife Sarah held in the previous episode? He doesn't have it, when did he have time to grab it after all, but yeah. Maybe I'm overthinking this lmao

"Where'd you learn to do that?" "The circus." *Joel rolls his eyes with such exasperation taht I can feel it through my screen*

"How long do infected live?" "Oh, I thought you went to school." "It's a really shitty one."

Joel avoiding answering the question about the FEDRA dude he killed due to Tess returning is peak writing

I really enjoy how the infected are portrayed in the show - they're not just individuals, they're part of a hive mind in a way, the mycelium connects them all one way or another, and they act like it (the way they all react to sunlight and extra so because they all react to each others pain as well, wow)

Added onto that, this extra lore about the way the cordyceps works is fantastic, it makes it even scarier that, according to Tess, you can accidentally wake up and attract infected from somewhere totally different - this means you're never actually safe 💀

Really love how Tess is so damn nice to Ellie all things considered. Still answering her questions, telling her she has to be careful, that just because she's immune doesn't mean there's no danger

"I have a spare hand." "Congratulations." 😭

I do love how quick Joel is to run over to Ellie whenever something happens (her swearing, falling over, gasping loudly)

The look that Joel and Tess share - they think they know and they're probably right

Dad mode™ activated

That building is anxiety central for me

Joel is so jumpy and twitchy it's a little funny tbh, I like it

Ellie's "oh shit whoops" face

Joel helping Ellie up :')

The sound effects 😭💀😭 they got the same team that did the game clicker sounds to do the show ones and I can TELL

The anxiety is palpable!! My stomach is in knots!! The entrance of the first clicker is terrifying!!

Joel's silent, almost sign language like, explanation for Ellie 😌

The clicker actors are fucking amazing jesus christ. And the special effects and makeup? So GOOD wow absolutely grotesque <3

Not me gasping with Ellie

If I were there I'd probably just hide under a table and hold my breathe 😭

I find the clickers to be quite bird-like, in game and in show

The silence as Joel reloads his gun, the sudden much closer clicking, the flashlight shining directly in its face 🤌

Joel now being the one to step on something crunchy 😩 THE WAY THE CLICKER LAUNCHES ITSELF AT HIM AND ELLIE ACROSS THE DISPLAY

Ellie crying out with pure fear and Joel holding the clicker back more so it's on him not her - HIM PUSHING HER BEHIND HIM!

BIG TESS SLAY

Impressed by how calm their reactions all are to seeing Ellie get bit (?) again (I thought it was more of a scratch at first but I assume it to be a bite due to their reactions to it)

"That was scary, this is wood." HA

The way Tess looks at Joel when he's busy wrapping her foot with diligence and care

I think this is the first sign that Tess had been bit, Joel seems to be looking at her like "what the hell is your problem" but listens and goes to watch Ellie anyway

The view line 😭🤌 love how we basically get this exactly from the game, including Joel looking at his watch :'(

The music 🙌

Second time you can really notice that Tess is differently - she handles Ellie harshly for basically the first time ever and totally ignores Joel

Joel moving Ellie away from the dead body

The squelching of the blood EUgH

Go makeup team go!

Oeiii screaming match :( mom and dad are fighting

The step back speaks volumes

"Oops, right?" just stab me it would hurt less, Anna's delivery of that line is heartbreaking

In fact little quick note of love to Anna Torv, she's such a fucking amazing actor and I love her portrayal of Tess so so much, she brought warmth, strength and balls of steel to the character fr!!

The fact that Tess basically confesses her feelings here, proclaims the knowledge that she feels something for Joel that he was never entirely able to reciprocate back, my god - her BEGGING him to take her because she knows nothing about the future but she believes that Ellie can change it in some capacity

Pedro's eye acting here is so potent, he says nothing but his eyes and face say it all

The mycelium!!!!!! Terrifying that in show canon, infected can basically call for backup!!! Brilliant addition and makes them so much more intimidating (also I HATED seeing the mycelium creep under that infected person's nails that really got a shudder out of me)

God bless the extras

Tess my beloved you make me cry so much you're amazing and you deserved better 😭 she's brave as fuck for this

Joel shaking, his lips quivering because fuck, she's going to die, and now he has to be fully responsible of this kid and he can't do this without her but he's gotta - the anxiety and fear in his eyes, his firm resolution after she says "save who you can save", the way he SNATCHES Ellie and walks away, Ellie fighting him tooth and nail but he knew she would, thats why he grabbed her like that.... I'm honestly just in so much awe and pain from this scene

The fear is Tess' face is so 😭😭

FUCK NO THAT ALMOST MADE ME THROW UP I WASN'T EXPECTING THAT JESUS FUCK. That was disgusting what the fuck 😭😭 don't know how to feel about watching the fucked up kiss of death like, eugh

The feeling when after failing to light the damn thing, she finally gets it, feels almost like a relief after all of that

Joel "big sad brown eyes" and Ellie "big traumatised brown eyes" will be the death of me

This is such a fucking sad ending to Tess' character but also, satisfying since she didn't die in vain

That final shot of Ellie alone with the burning state house in the background, sun beating down and a soft breeze in her hair, damn

If you make it to the end, thanks for reading! It's literally just my running thought process whilst watching!! Do you agree with some of my notes, was there anything you noticed that i didn't? Comments and reblogs welcome <3

Episode 1 thoughts:

Episode 3 thoughts:

[captivemuses]

Comfort food(s): If I'm going purely sweets then I'm going to say Thin Mints. I did Girl Scouts for a large portion of my childhood and those were and still are my absolute top tier favorite Girl Scout cookie and I'm not even kidding saying I could polish off an entire box in one sitting and regret nothing.

Comfort drink(s): Hot cup of coffee. Granted I normally drink iced coffee during the summertime for obvious reasons but hot coffee is still my favorite.

Comfort movie(s): Pirates of the Caribbean. More specifically the first three because I heavily prefer those to the fourth and fifth installments. I don't mind the fourth one and I'll willingly watch it if I'm in a mood to binge the series again but I wasn't in love with the fifth one and I just wish certain elements of the movie had happened in earlier installments instead. But I just love the cast as a whole and the soundtrack and I can have it on as the best background noise while I'm doing other things and just be happy. I also have the first three soundtracks at work to use as naptime music and my daycare kids genuinely love the music.

Comfort show(s): Yuri on Ice. I always do an annual rewatch of the show and have done so every year since the show came out in 2016. I'll probably keep doing so just because I'll always love the series even if MAPPA clearly doesn't because the suck-- /gets yanked off stage to not go on an anti MAPPA tangent again

Comfort clothing: Pajama pants. I wear those as much as I humanly can because they're stretchy and comfy, and ngl I'm extremely guilty of wearing them to work a lot only because I'm allowed to wear what I want as long as nothing's stained or ripped or having anything offensive or inappropriate for kids on it. I'm here for comfort not fashion when I clock in to take care of threenagers all day rofl.

Comfort song(s): Anything Lady Gaga. I'm not super familiar with her newest album Chromatica as I am with the previous ones but I'm still a huge fan of hers and I'd 100% go see her in concert again if the opportunity arose, she's worth every penny imo.

Comfort book(s): I don’t really have a set of comfort books to share right now. I might update this in the future with some, but the only memorable story is “You”. I prefer it over the show for sure. The exploration of a man so psychologically twisted that when he finally “settled” and had a kid, he would abandon a son, purely out of disgust, knowing that he would turn out just like him. Also, Guinevere Beck is my favourite. I just perceive her as a human character, somebody with flaws that are outlined clearly, and it was an aspect I really enjoyed. I might even reread the first book, just for her. Side note: the cage is such a cool concept, and I will be taking notes. kidding. not really.

Comfort game(s): Either anything Harvest Moon or old school Pokemon (think Johto region, that's always been my favorite). Those are old school nostalgia for me growing up and you'd have me be happy having to go restart the original Gold/Silver for the 15th time or go start a new save file on Harvest Moon (which speaking of I want to pick up the remake again once I'm out of icon hell and don't have to drag my laptop to work all the time). They're just relaxing turn my brain off games that I love.

tagged by: @iceiclehorned ty for the tag!!

tagging: @gildedsplendors @protectivemuses @reflective-muses @weltenwxndler @ofhope @galactia @crimsononiarataki and anyone else who's been good and hydrated today (and if you haven't you should so you can do this and say I tagged you!)