#I haven’t seen Tango so I don’t know how well he’s doing

[all54321]

I know right??? This feels like people went “Oh Jimmy and Scar are teamed? Guess they’re going out quickly” and just kept pushing that. Which also annoys me because Scar just won SL???

They are on 3 lives, and there are three people with 1 life left.

The Bamboozlers are pretty high standing with lives too, all of their team is green and Lizzie has five lives. Which you can’t say about some of the other teams. And now they’re allies with one of the other teams with basically all their lives left (who are also strong)… yeah no…

People just are staring at these guys so critically that they ignore any points that show they’re not weak. If y’all are making claims at least back them up.

Sure Scar and Jimmy did both get to red, but they’re back to green and that says a whole lot more.

Did not just watch a full episode of Wild Life in which both of Grian's teammates desperately try to get kills and both end up on red despite (and often because of) their effort, for you guys to keep saying Scar and Jimmy are getting eliminated next episode.

Jimmy has five fucking kills man. He's doing GREAT!! I know that people are attached to the canary curse, and this is Wild Life so I understand anything can happen, but come on. I will admit I don't have high hopes for Jimmy, but I really think people are selling him short this season.

Yeah Scar failed like eight traps this session, but he's still doing well. Ya know why? Because he's good at taking advantage of a situation. That man has six kills on Etho alone for a reason. Do none of you remember last season when Gem attacked Scar early on during the boogeyman apocalypse because she thought he would be an easy kill, and she had to RETREAT because he did too much damage on her?!?

The worst part is that no one is even claiming Jimmy and Scar are in danger for reasonable things, like the fact that Grian (who has the HIGHEST kill count in the series) has just declared them his number one enemies. Everyone is acting like they're both just going to throw themselves off cliffs three times next episode. Like yeah they can both be reckless players but they aren't stupid. They know to stay safe on red. Scar especially performs well on red. (He is a LOT like Joel)

Speaking of which! The Bamboozlers have happily made an alliance with the Family. Two of the strongest pvp players on the server. "But Jimmy killed Joel" yeah and Joel congratulated him because he thought it was a good kill. Scar and Lizzie have had alliances with the Family for a while, now that Jimmy's green there's no bad blood between them. And while I don't think Gem or Joel are gonna die saving any Bamboozlers (well, Joel might for Lizzie), having them on their side may slightly deter Grian's posse considering their desperate attempts on the Family's lives this episode.

POINT BEING: The Bamboozlers are ALL in a really good place at the end of this episode. Their whole team is green, they've secured an alliance with the Family, and they're all competent players. Y'all should be really worried about Mumbo right now. I'm worried about Mumbo.

[theminecraftbee]

Grian’s unsurprised, when he heads back into Decked Out, to find Tango in the waiting room. He’s lying on the marble floor, one hand pressed against the moss, staring up at the fake sun shining down. In here, away from the much dimmer, bluer light of the citadel, he looks pale. Far too gaunt and skinny. His eyes seem a little sunken-in.

He’s smiling, though. There’s wonder in those sunken eyes. He keeps on looking around with something so fragile in his expression. Grian doesn’t really want to interrupt, but…

“You know you’re not supposed to stare at it, right?”

“Oh! Uh, Grian!” Tango says.

“‘Course, we made it so it wasn’t actually the bright bit. Can look at the sun all you want from here.”

“Yeah,” agrees Tango. “I sure can.”

“Touch grass,” Grian continues.

“I mean, technically it’s moss,” Tango says, drawing his hand away almost self-consciously. Grian swears in his head. Stupid. He wasn’t trying to…

“There were a lot of us hanging out,” Grian says. “It’s a nice room, isn’t it? All fun and cheerful.”

“Yeah. Yeah, it sure is,” Tango says. “Hey, Grian—”

“Nope. Not with me. Not gonna bother you about it. Just—you made something really cool, Tango. Plus, it was nice to see you. Haven’t seen you not in a hole in the ground for a while, you know? This isn’t quite the same thing, but since we’ll all be waiting in here for a while anyway…”

Slowly, Tango puts his hand back on the moss “Don’t worry. I’m happy,” Tango says. “I’m really, really happy. Hey, tomorrow, do you think just as many…”

“Tango, don’t be stupid. There might even be more of us.”

Tango sighs. It’s like some tension Grian can’t even name has left him. It should be nice, but there’s also something almost unsettling about it. The amount of contentment on Tango’s face—well, then again, Grian would be that kind of happy too, if he’d finished something that took over a year, and then it worked and everyone loved it.

“Yeah. That’s good. This is all really good. Yeah, I’m happy with this.”

But there’s something about how he’s showing it.

“Eat some more food while you’re up here. Scar’s been worried about you, and for some ungodly reason he’s been making it my problem. Do you hear me? Do you know how annoying it is when Scar makes something your problem?”

“Trust me, I know. Who else do you think he keeps bothering?”

“Fair enough. And don’t break our queue system! We worked really hard! I think Etho would kill you.”

Tango laughs. There are tears in his eyes, Grian realizes.

“I’m just—it’s so bright in here. And you all were laughing so much. And loved it so much. I’m so… happy. I’m so happy.”

Grian softens. “Yeah. Be proud.”

Tango beams. Grian goes back out of the waiting room. Something about it feels private, like he hadn’t been meant to intrude. He’ll dissect all that later. He’d just wanted to check in, since he’s here to add his decorations to the many cubbies everyone has decorated. Everyone really does love it. Tango’s going to be busy; between maintenance and everyone wanting to talk to him about what they’re doing, he’s never going to get a moment of peace alone. Might as well give him a little bit while he still can.

It feels important, somehow, for Tango to lie there and bask in it, in the moments he can.

[xaenhypen]

♡TOUCH STARVED♡

MDNI AOC+

Aoc= Age of concent (legal age to have sex)

Jay

♪→ A LITTLE DEATH- The neighborhood

Pairing: Nonidol!Jay(22) x Nonidol!reader (20,FMBR)

Warnings: smut, sexual talk, swearing

Summary: you and Jay had been dating for 6 months but you still haven’t had sex. Something you were starting to go insane for. Turns out he wasn’t as innocent as ha claims he is. Vanilla sex

Jay tickled me as i was kicking my feet tryna make him stop.

“JAY”

“STOP”

I was laughing. Little did he know how needy i had been today. All the stress at work and being touch starved. Me and Jay haven’t had sex yet. Even tho we have been in a relationship for over 6 months. Yeah we had kissed, made out ect, but we didn’t have sex. I was starting to think he was a douche bag at 15 hit in the nuts so hard he was inable to have sex without it giving him traumatic flashbacks. It slightly annoyed me. He was all “innocent” and shit. But i know damn well that isn’t true cause i caught him jacking off in his room thinking i wasn’t home yet. But i didn’t confront him.

Jay finally stopped ticking me, and i took the chance to flip him over and get on top of him. His expression was surprised with a hint of confusion. I gave him a quick peck. He blushed slightly.

“I want another one” he said

I did, i bent down and kissed him a little longer but was caught off guard when he grabbed my hips and flipped me over so that i was under him. I blushed. He smiled as he looked into my eyes, his hand moved up to move some strands of hair out of my face.

“You’re beautiful you know that right?” He said

“Thank you” i said smiling back at him. He moved a little, i felt his leg between my thighs pressing slightly tho i don’t think he realized himself. Not thinking my body automatically pressed me closer for more pressure. Luckily he didn’t notice. I dragged him down moving my mouth to his, i kissed him slowly and he kissed me back. Our mouths was moving against each others. I slowly moved my hips up and down his leg. He stopped and backed away from me. I looked away. He looked at me surprised but something in his eyes changed, something I hadn’t seen before.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He said slowly as he placed one hand beside my head and the other one moved me to face him.

“I-i uhh” I could feel my face turning crimson red. I was so embarrassed.

“Hmm? Love” he said as his eyes stared into mine while his thumb caressed my cheek gently. “Tell me.. is there something you want from me?” He asked again his voice slightly lower.

“Hah… no?” I acted clueless i moved up the bed trying to sit up but Jay grabbed my hips pulling me under him again. My heart was beating so fast i thought it might explode and leak blood throughout my whole body. Not that i think thats possible, put right now that feels very possible.

“Where do you think you’re going? awnser me love” his hand moving up the side of my body, while his other was pinning one of my hands to the side of me head. “N-nowhere” i felt his hand move under my shirt gently sliding over my bare stomach making me shiver.

“What are you doing Jay?” I ask him.

“Moving my body against yours, just like you were doing with me.” His hand moved down to my lower abdomen tracing my sweatpants. My body was feeling his every touch. “Now tell me, what do you want love” he repeats slightly thugging at my pants.

“I-i you know.. that” i say whispering the last part. “Hm?” He says as if he didn’t hear me. “You know what i mean” i say slightly frustrated. “No.. explain to me what you want.. or show me.” Jay said looking into my eyes. “Sex..” i whispered. “Hm?” He hums again as his hand moves up my neck. “Sex” i say a little louder. “I didn’t hear that.” Jay says as he brushes his thumb over my bottom lip. I become more frustrated. “SEX. I want to have sex, fuck, sleep together, make love, devils tango, woohoo, shack or whatever you wanna call it!” I blurt out. I clasp over my mouth realizing what i just said.

“Fuck” Jay says. “I have been waiting for this” jay says before leaning down kissing me intensely. I was caught off guard by his kiss but i kissed him back. The careful kisses got more and more intense. His mouth traced my jawline and i let out a hard breath. Between his kisses he whispered how much he loves me. His hands interfered with mine as he moved down my body. At this point our shirts were on the floor. He placed wet kisses on my lower abdomen and i gasped.

His fingers hooked under my sweatpants pulling them off completely. His index finger moved over my underwear making me shiver, before he kissed my sweet-spot through my panties. I swear i was floating, all this time longing for his touch and i finally got it.

“Please, touch me. I want you to touch me” i arched my back so that i came closer to him. “Sure, love” Jay says smirking, he proceeds to pull my underwear off and spreading my thighs with his hans. He bent down and i could feel his breath on my clit. I want him. I need him. My eyes fluttered the second i felt his tounge on my core. Before i knew it he was moving his fingers in and out of me while eating me out. It felt amazing. I could do this forever. “So good” i let out a breathy moan. I was about to fall over the edge but he stopped making me cry out in dissatisfaction.

“Why did you st-“ i was cut off by my own moan as i felt him push into me. When did he even have time to take his pants off? My eyes were looking at his as he moved into me slowly. His breathing was hard and he was sweating. “You feel so fucking good babe” he growled as his pace increased. We both were moaning in pleasure moving our bodies together. I always thought missionary was a boring position but boy i was wrong. I loved it. Seeing his face as he pounds his dick deep into me was fucking hot. I was so close and he hit just the right spot sending me over the edge. My eyes rolled back and i saw stars, my whole body was shaking as he continued to chase his own orgasm. And he caught it, he pushed hard into me as i felt his warm load pouring into me. “I love you” i said breathless as i touched his face. “I love you too baby” jay said as he collapsed onto me.

[were-changing-cake-vaults]

OUROBOROS

Set after session 3. I am so normal about them lol

Now that it isn’t going to kill him, Etho grabs his snail and runs to a small corner in his copper home. After all of that, he needs something to hold, as well as the sweet metallic sting that emanates from his walls, to ground him.

He doesn’t know why he’s freaking out like this, but it’s probably the cows. The cows that he killed. The cows that burned Tango’s house down. The cows that sent Scar on a goose chase, exacting revenge on the wrong people. Yeah, it’s the cows causing Etho this whole hullabaloo.

He can hear Bdubs complaining in his own stone mausoleum of a house next door.

(Earlier, he had caught wind that Bdubs hadn’t done anything remotely ‘tough’ to the Bam trio, and it got him points on that silly board of theirs. Wasn’t it Bdubs who had suggested they target them? Him who brought up the idea of being the Tuff Guys in the first place; placed himself as leader? Bdubs who, completely out of character, had said that alliances meant nothing?)

Etho tries to block out the noise, take in the feeling of grass underneath him, the residual smell of smoke in the air. In front of him, his snail moves in circles, unsure where its directive has gone. Back to the cows. Unfairly, he had killed them. Unfair is the wrong word here- cruelly? Definitely cruel more than unfair; unfair means he did it to an advantage on his part. Etho wasn’t doing it for the advantage, he was doing it for-

(Last season, he would’ve been doing it for Grian and Cleo. Season before that, for Skizz and Tango and Impulse. Before, before…)

The muffled voice of Bdubs makes itself clear for a single moment: something about sick satisfaction. He’s either complaining about Grian, or he’s yelling at the man himself. If anyone talked back, Etho couldn’t hear it. The snail is still going in circles.

(Funny, how the brain will focus on the things you don’t want to hear. Funny, too, how cyclical everything is, when it involves him. Funnily enough, his mind conjures the snake eating its own tail, the one with venom dripping from puncture wounds.)

Etho grips the grass underneath him and lets go, once, twice. The past few days haven’t seen a drop of rain, which means everything had turned a weird, dead yellow just before this session. A hollow huff forces its way out of his chest, body naturally laughing at the patterns in everything. The snail, for the first time, expresses a layer of depth more than directive and changes direction, heading towards the door. He watches it go towards the parched fields.

Etho breaths in, holds, breathes out. Pushes himself up onto unsteady feet, holds onto the oxidizing wall for support. Pushes off of that too. Listens once more- Bdubs has stopped shouting, and now the gentle quiet of nature has returned to the air. The weight that was sending him spiraling has left him, along with his need to question why.

(Because it had taken all of 10 minutes for him and Bdubs to get into their first argument of the season. Because he keeps thinking about horses, and cows, and snails and snakes biting their own tails until they choke. Because once upon a time, he had half-promised some semblance of protection, and it literally blew up in his face. Because neither of them know how to be without the other, it always goes bad for both. Because Etho cannot stop reviving something that has been dead for years.)

He opens his eyes, and walks away, towards the family he was promised.

[galaxycunt]

My Dinner With Buggy

Author warning: this is dialogue only. Why? Because I wondered if I could do it and so here it is I’m lucky I had power the whole time in my house during this ice storm bc I’m so bored 😭

Summary: You are waiting on a man, you haven’t seen each other in quite some time. Not since you were a bright eyed recruit and he was a young captain with more ego than sense.

“Welcome in! How many?”

“Two, please,” as you sat you said, “a bottle of house red, thank you.”

A hand tapped you on the shoulder some time later, “I never tire of that joke. You’re looking good.”

“Buggy, wow. It’s really good to see you.”

“Yeah, not every day a marine wine and dines me.”

“I can think of a few officers who’d like that, now.”

Buggy frowns, “you told them, didn’t you?”

You shake your head, “Buggy, I didn’t even know you were with the Roger pirates. I found that out from the snails like everyone else.”

“Huh. Swore I told you. I guess…I never tell anyone that shit.”

“Hey, doesn’t matter. You’re here. You’re safe.”

Buggy laughs, “god, it’s been forever. Remember when we climbed up the mast of the first Big Top?”

“Hm. Yeah. Tiny Top. That ship sucked. I remember beating you up there.”

“Oh fuck off, I let you!”

“I beat you by a whole 30 seconds!”

“I’m not letting a fucking marine talk shit while I’m trying to enjoy my damn dinner.”

You laugh heartily as the waiter arrived, “I’ll have the pasta special.”

“You paying or what?” You nod, “prime rib. Gimme a steak bigger than my head.”

“You sure ain’t a cheap date, Bug.”

“Oh! So this is a date? Okay, you sure you don’t wanna thrown in with the guy who tangoed with the best and came out on top?”

“I…I think I am quitting. I saw your little movie debut. He…he was just a kid. Both of them.”

“Y-yeah. He really was.”

“I guess that’s the life we choose.”

Buggy sighs, “let’s not think about that. I’m here, you’re here. This is a date.”

“Is this a date? Okay, what lines does Captain Buggy pull on these things?”

“What’s your sign?”

“Libra.”

“I’m a Libra moon, they say a sun and moon sign being the same means they’re meant to be.”

You shake your head, “you’re so full of shit. Is that even your sign?”

“Maybe, maybe not. Take me on more dates like this and I’ll tell you the truth.”

You can’t hide your smile, “shut the fuck up.”

“Join me, I’ll treat you so good.”

“Uh huh.”

“It’ll be fun. I won’t even make you wake up at dawn.”

“And what do you get out of this?”

“A beauty at my side every day, that’s all.”

“You just want trade secrets, don’t you?”

He looks offended, “I ain’t that bad a guy. But my lips are sealed, if you wanna give anything up.”

“If you want secrets out of me, you gotta give me something to work with.”

“Work with?”

“What’s your big secret, tough guy?”

He chews the free bread thoughtfully, “the rumors are true. I washed Gol D. Roger’s underwear. Though I tricked Shanks into doing laundry duty more.”

“How?”

“Packing gunpowder is way cooler. Only chumps think laundry is better. Just cause you do it once a month.”

“Sounds about right for pirates. Marines make you clean the toilets with a toothbrush every day.”

“See what I mean? I wouldn’t let you lift a finger.”

“I might hold you to that.”

“I’d be so good to you.”

In between bites you say, “I joined only because I needed the money. My dad was a marine, the pension don’t pay much if you’re just one of the grunts. He wasn’t happy I did it. They had a nice sign on bonus.”

“Is that really a secret?”

“Well, maybe. People on base like to act like they’re doing it for the greater good. Justice and all that shit.”

“Snooty fucks.”

“Oh yeah.”

He smiles, “see? Gotta join me now.”

You blush as he watches you eat, “what?”

“Nothing. Just nice. You write and call less and less these days.”

“Hey, man. You do have a bounty. Though I guess I don’t have to be as careful.”

“Heh, yeah. Maybe we can see each other more….especially if you join.”

“Let’s not talk work, tell me anything else.”

“Like how lovely you’re looking?”

“Look at you, wearing something clean.”

“So this is a date. Let’s go for another drink after this, my treat.”

“Twisting my arm over here.”

“I’m a pirate, baby. I have my ways.”

You can’t stop smiling, in spite of yourself, “last time I saw you, you threw your head at me.”

“I remember.”

“Did you mean it? What you said?”

“Yeah, I really didn’t want those fucks taking me in. Even if they were your buddies.”

“No, no. Not that.”

He hums, “I think I remember.”

“Don’t be a dick, Buggy.”

“Don’t leave me in suspense then.”

“If you don’t remember, then I won’t say it.”

He stares for a beat, studying you, “I’m sorry for teasing. I do, I always will.”

“You were so drunk I-“

“-I wasn’t. I lied.”

“Check please,” you flag a waiter down, feeling his eyes boring into you, “thank you.”

“Oh shit. No, I didn’t lie about that. I was sober.”

Relief floods you, “you’re so stupid.”

“I love you.”

“Do you, or just the young hot marine you met?”

“Baby, don’t be like that.”

“What if I’m tired of the sea, want something quiet?”

“I’ll visit. All the time.”

“Really?”

He nods, “I’ll treat you good. So, so good.”

“I love you too. Against my better judgement.”

“Let’s get outta here. When are you expected back?”

“I got three weeks off.”

“Just enough time to lay low with me.”

“Heard you got a new crew, all those prisoners. They won’t like me on board.”

“They think I’m their god or some shit, I dunno. We can rent a room somewhere. I don’t care.”

“You are something else.”

“I can be all yours, just say the word.”

“Let’s see how tonight goes then.”

“I’m gonna dazzle your pants off.”

“Won’t go for nothing less.”

[avid-avian-lives]

1800

couldnt help myself, im really proud of this one :> rancher omens au no cut today for a short scene with the long-awaited rancher content!!

Jimmy watched proudly as a signpost was put up commemorating the founding of “Solidarity Tavern.” He had thought a lot before settling on the design, which pulled pieces from the barely awakening American West to create a new-fashioned yet traditional tavern.

Inside, he was sorting out tables and chairs and the like when he heard the door open. Without turning, he announced that the tavern wouldn’t be opening for the rest of the week, only to be interrupted by a familiar voice that he hadn’t heard in a while.

“Joel?”

“Tim!” said Joel, wearing that signature fake smile. “What’s with the building? It looks ugly. And it makes you look short. Anyway, I’ve got good news.”

“Oh?” Jimmy said, still not quite on edge. “How’s that?”

“You’re going back to Heaven!”

Jimmy’s smile faded. Back to Heaven? He hadn’t wanted to go back to Heaven in a while; certainly not since he got closer to Tango. That was hardly a situation he could explain to Joel, though, so he merely did his best to show disinterest without being rude.

“Can’t see why anyone would want to stay here, anyway,” Joel said. “Bloomin’ awful, it is. We’re promoting you, Tim! Heaven knows you don’t deserve it, but, someone had to take up this new job.”

Jimmy’s awkward smile nearly faltered as he spotted Tango in the doorway of the tavern. Joel hadn’t seen him, thankfully, but it would come close if Tango didn’t leave.

“But who else would be qualified to foil the plans of the demon Tango?” Jimmy said, panicking. From the doorway, Tango mouthed “chocolates” and pointed to the box he had been carrying.

“Literally anyone else,” said Joel.

“He’s clever!” Jimmy said. “And he’s been on Earth just as long as I have. I know how to deal with him, but another angel without my experience may let him get away with… schemes. Besides, who would replace me?”

“BigB,” Joel said, “obviously.”

“BigB?!” Tango whisper-shouted from behind Joel. “BigB is shady as Hell, and I mean that!”

“You can’t mean that,” Jimmy said pointedly. Tango just rolled his eyes.

However, Joel soon found himself in the tavern’s storage room, waiting while Jimmy packed up his boxes. There was a small window above his head, and the wall was thin enough that he could hear the remnants of a conversation outside.

“Drat!” said a voice. “How is it that all my demonic plans of evilness are so effortlessly thwarted? Heaven must have some kind of demon-thwarting hero in their ranks who just… thwarts me all the time.”

Joel stood on one of Jimmy’s stools to see out the window. He could just barely make out who he knew to be the demon Tango and another hooded figure. Joel ducked below the window to continue listening unseen.

“If there is one person to blame for these continuous setbacks, Master Tango,” said another voice, “it is the angel Jimmy.”

“Ugh! Do not mention that name in my presence!” said Tango. “He is a devious and cunning angel. I haven’t had a wile left unthwarted in years! Decades! As long as he remains on Earth, my plans must remain merely mischievous where they could be downright vile! No one knows how to thwart me as well as him.”

“I bear news, Master Tango,” said the second voice, which was merely Tango having far too much fun with the deep, demonic voice he developed for his dungeon. “We hear that Heaven plans to send Jimmy back to their ranks and replace him with another angel.”

“That is delightfully good news for the evildoers of Hell!” said Tango in a (mostly) normal voice. “No matter who they send down, they would never be as good as Jimmy at thwarting the wily ways of this Earth-dwelling serpent. Indeed, today is a day for evil to rejoice, for Heaven has faltered! Let us celebrate Heaven’s foolishness by burning a city or amassing an army. I daresay we could storm the gates of Heaven! No one could stop us the way Jimmy could. Heaven will rue the day they were fooled into taking my greatest obstacle away from the Earth!”

This tale was recounted to Jimmy amid a series of devious laughs. Joel had, unsurprisingly, found himself “receiving word from Heaven” that Jimmy’s promotional position had been filled and that he would have to remain on Earth. Maybe it was just Tango’s overactive imagination that made it seem like Jimmy’s wine-reddened cheeks darkened at all the compliments that "the demon Tango" and his "hellish compatriot" were giving him.

“It’s true, though!” Tango said. “I had this truly devious plan to drink this whole bottle of wine all by myself. Thankfully, there was an angel around to stop me. Devious, yes. I’m very devious.”

“Certainly,” Jimmy said, staring into his wine glass.

[yacinthemorning]

Birdsongs

Chapter 3

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Summary: The Life Pilgrimage is the biggest music festival of the century, set to take place all across the continent. Small-time rock band, GIST, and the up-and-coming alternative band, Empire, are both lucky to be among the hundreds set to make appearances, but there's just one problem. Neither can afford the travel expenses on their own. For better or worse, they're stuck with each other for the next five weeks as they try to make their dreams come true.

And, perhaps, among the chaos and music, two unsuspecting souls find one another...

Ships: Jimmy/Tango (slow burn romantic), Joel/Lizzie (romantic), Jimmy & Scott (platonic)

Warnings: Alcohol, Mentioned Divorce, Burns, Singing, Anxiety

The trailer door had just closed when Jimmy turned on the shower. He sighed as the warm water hit his poor muscles, sore from being sat in the car with almost no room to move all day. Though he hadn’t wanted to complain, the seats were much too far forward. Dust from the open window had also collected in his hair, which he quickly went to scrub out.

Outside the bathroom there was noise, and then a shout. “Oi, Jimmy.” The door flung open. 

Jimmy squeaked, turning away from Scott, covering up as much as he could. “Scott, what the heck!” He snapped, but Scott only raised an incredulous eyebrow.

“Literally what haven’t I seen already?”

“That doesn’t mean you can just barge in!”

The man rolled his eyes, then held up a small, blue pouch. “You forgot your toiletries.” He said, flinging it to Jimmy. “Brush your teeth while you’re in there. And don’t forget to wash under your nails, they’re filthy. Also, don’t touch mine and Lizzie’s shampoo, it’s for dyed hair only.”

“I know.” Jimmy grumbled. Only a grunt came in reply, followed by the flimsy plastic door shuttering. Though the sounds outside had grown he didn’t hear Scott leave. Jimmy had just finished rinsing his hair when he spoke up again.

“So, how was the car ride with Tango?”

It was such an oddly polite question, it made Jimmy laugh. “You okay, mate?”

“Am I not allowed to ask?”

“Wh- no, that’s.” He sighed, grabbing the soap. “It was fine, he’s nice.”

“Mmm…” There was a click, and then the distinct scratching of tested strings. “Glad you got over it, then.”

Jimmy turned to the door indignantly in the place of Scott. “What?”

“I saw you before you guys left. You looked like you were expecting him to unhinge his jaw and bite your head off. I’m glad you got over it. It was pretty funny, though.”

He sputtered. Maybe it was true, but did he have to say it? What if someone heard him? Oh, god, what if Tango heard him? Jimmy would die and never be able to drive with the man again. “Well, I don’t know what you mean, he’s great, actually.” Jimmy turned off the water and spoke just a bit too loudly for his own ears. If anyone outside heard they didn’t react.

“Oh, I noticed that, too.”

He nearly stumbled out of the bathroom. Scott was laid out on the queen bed, Jimmy’s guitar across his lap while he absently picked at the strings. There was that smile on his face, the smug one that said I know what you’re thinking better than you do . It was directed at Jimmy far too often.

“A cute guy says something nice to you and you’re on his heels the rest of the day... Where’ve I heard that before?”

“I am not!” Jimmy whined, pulling his shirt on first to hide his reddening face. “It’s just nice to meet someone new.”

“And oh, how nicely you get along.” Scott practically sang, strumming Jimmy’s guitar.

“Stop it, it’s not like that. I just met the guy.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.”

Jimmy’s shoulders tensed, “Yeah, and look how well that worked out for me then.” He snapped.

The trailer went quiet. Regret instantly weighed down Jimmy’s stomach, unable to turn to face Scott.

A small snap, then click, then, “… You know I don’t mind.” Scott’s voice was soft now, though Jimmy could not tell if it was from caution or pain. The trailer shifted, and Jimmy’s case was being pushed into his grasp. “It’s your business.”

“I’m sorry.” He blurted out, unable to muster any dignity for it.

Scott’s lip twitched. “I know.”

“… It really isn’t like that. It’s just…” Outside, Tango shouted, joined by Skizz’s laughter. He sighed. “It’s nice, talking to other people. Who don’t… Y’know?”

Scott shifted on his feet. “A breath of fresh air?” 

It was about as close as either could get to saying what they both knew he meant. Jimmy clutched his case tight to his chest. Scott gave his shoulder a pat, “Well, get your trousers on and join us outside.”

-

Tango miserably pushed the fire log around, sending a flurry of sparks up into the darkened sky.

“Y’gonna burn yourself there, mate.” Joel piped up from his folding chair. Lizzie was on his lap, leaning into his shoulder while nursing a cheap beer they’d both been sipping from.

“Nah, I’m pretty impervious to fire.”

“Those burns from that time you ‘fixed’ the engine say otherwise.” Skizz just had to intrude, getting the laugh he was searching for out of the young couple. Tango attempted to kick a rock at his friend’s foot, but just had a dust cloud coat his pants instead. Skizz laughed. “Aw, is Tangle Top cranky?”

“Shut up.” He grumbled, turning back to the fire.

“And where’d your little buddy go?”

“Inside with Scott.” As if on cue, Jimmy’s muffled shout came from within the trailer.

“Oh gosh,” Lizzie said, eyeing the trailer. “I hope it isn’t a fight. Maybe I should go check on them.”

Tango glance behind them. The curtains were pulled closed but there was the vague movement of a silhouette. Should he not have let Jimmy go in alone? “Do they do that often?”

Joel shrugged. “Not usually, but, y’know, maybe if they did then they wouldn’t be divorced.”

The poker slipped off a log, throwing Tango forward right into the path of the fire. He shrieked as his forearm slammed into the heated metal firepit and got a face full of ash. Someone yanked him back by the collar of his shirt. “Tango! Are you okay?” Skizz’s jerk of a question was caught between concern and hysterics. “I’ll go get the first aid kit. Jeez, Top, don’t fling yourself off a cliff or something before I get back.”

Tango glared up at him through tears. Instead of answering he wiped his face, but it only agitated the red mark on his arm.

“Are you okay?” Lizzie asked. Both her and Joel looked concerned. He waved them off.

“Yeah, just a little burn, no biggie.” It did little to convince them, but Tango had other concerns. “So, they’re married? Or, er, were married?”

Lizzie gave him a suspicious glare that was absolutely uncalled for. “… Yeah, broke up about a year ago now.”

“And they… just… stayed in a band together?” It seemed, to Tango, like the world’s worst idea imaginable. Though, he supposed he’d seen his fair share of amicable breakups, but something as personal and emotionally driven as a band being caught up in it… 

“It’s what they agreed to.” From the look the couple shared it had been the subject of more than a few conversations.

Well, it really wasn’t any of his business. So long as it didn’t cause problems on their shared trip, at least. They wouldn’t be here if they couldn’t put it aside for their art. Then again, he had yet to hear any of their music. Maybe they were one of those emo bands that were humiliatingly personal in their music and this sort of thing was just fuel to them. Or were they the exact opposite? Maybe he should have asked to borrow their discography like Skizz.

He was thinking about this too much. What did it matter to him, anyways?

The trailer door opened and only Scott hopped out. Immediately Pearl flagged him down from her spot at the table, their maps spread out in front of her. Tango smiled. Surrounded by half-drunk bandmates and she was still working, figures.

Jimmy finally left the trailer, hair still damp and case in hand. There was no way to tell it hadn’t also been in the shower. A small tension between Tango’s shoulders relaxed into amusement. For a brief moment their eyes locked. The look the guitarist gave him was unreadable, and Tango wondered for a moment if his earlier awkwardness had done more damage than he thought. Jimmy’s gaze soon shifted past him, though, and quirked into a smile. Tango had no time to wonder why before his eardrums were assaulted. 

He shrieked, drowned out by reverberation and laughter. Gem stood right behind him, blue Predator in hand, Fwhip beside her with an amp held up to eye-level. The little lady and her doppelganger laughed so hard they both nearly dropped their equipment.

“Hey, hey, hey! You’re gonna explodificate my ears!” Tango shouted, massaging the side of his head.

Gem giggled, “Sorry Tango, but it was too tempting.”

“If you’re gonna play, then turn it down a bit.” Pearl called out to them, though even she was holding back a laugh. “The other campers probably won’t appreciate so much noise this late.”

“Whatcha up to there, Glitter Girl?” Skizz finally returned, first aid bag and his water bottle in hand. Trailing just behind him was Impulse, carrying his own bottle. Before the conversation could get started, Impulse snatched up the first aid and quickly got to work on Tango’s arm. It was hardly necessary, given he could barely feel it already.

“Oh, I was just thinkin’ we should play a little bit to celebrate our first night.” She explained as she turned down the amp. “We won’t reach the first venue for a few days still, so why not?”

Tango yanked his arm away from Impulse, much to the man’s distaste, and started toward the trailer. “Now you’re talkin’!”

Impulse groaned, a sentiment mirrored by Joel. “No offence, but I really don’t want to have to move the drums anymore than they have to be. And I think we’d get kicked out.”

“Doesn’t mean me and Gem can’t have some fun!” He said while digging through the compartments for his bass. Instead he stumbled upon another, smaller, case. One he thought was familiar in the darkness but, as he pulled it out into the fire light, realized it was dyed a navy blue rather than the clean black of his own. 

He blinked down at the violin case in surprise, until Scott stood up. “Oh, I was wondering where it was put.”

“Yours should be on the other side, Tango.” Pearl pointed to the right. “Nothing else fit with the drums other than your two’s smaller instruments.”

“You play violin?” Tango passed the case over. It was placed on the table, popping open to reveal a classic looking little acoustic fiddle in near-pristine condition. Not that it seemed unloved, judging from the aging on its case’s leather and the fond smile Scott gave it.

Scott lifted the instrument to his chin as if second nature, raising his bow to test it. “Usually. We play whatever I think the composition needs.” He explained.

“By that he means him as Lizzie play whatever they need.” Joel quickly corrected. “Overachievers that they are. Me ‘n’ Jim are just there for when they can’t grow an extra set of limbs to hit the cymbals.”

“Oh, stop it. The drums are very important.” Lizzie lightly smacked her husband’s shoulder who gave a cheeky grin back.

Skizz appeared next to Tango, nudging him in the rib hard enough he nearly dropped his own violin. “That’s just like Tango! Always picking up whatever catches his eye in the moment. This jerk made me learn bass just so he could mess with a theremin for a summer!”

“Hey, I was right, it was really cool!” Tango defended, pulling away from his bandmate to place his case down. Next to Scott’s classic fiddle, his electric violin looked almost cheap. Was he some rich kid or just especially passionate? “That’s a real nice instrument y’got there, though. Your main?”

His smile stretched. “I like to add a touch of Scottish folk to our songs.”

Not an answer, but okay. Or maybe it was and he was just stupid. He still wasn’t quite sure how to interact with these new guys. Tango never was good with people, and he’s had almost the same friends for nearly two decades until they added Gem and Pearl to the family. The girls didn’t have that look in their eye that Scott did, though. Like he had Tango all figured out after just saying ‘ hi ’ to him. Joel and Lizzie seemed nice, but the pair were in their own little saccharine world. Maybe he shoulda picked up some self-help books these last couple months…

-

Jimmy watched sympathetically while Tango crumpled under Scott’s gaze. He’s just like that, you’ll get used to it , he wanted to assure Tango. It was quite funny, watching a man who dressed like a biker cringe away.

“How are you at that, anyways?” Scott asked, leaning forward until he was practically looming over Tango. That was how Jimmy knew he was doing it on purpose, though to what ends he didn’t know. Jimmy had learned a long time ago he wasn’t smart enough to keep up with the 5D chess going on in Scott’s brain at all times.

Tango wavered in his response. “Y’know, I’ve been playin’ a good four or five years.”

“He’s a fast learner.” Skizz praised. 

“That so?” Scott’s eyes shone with mischief, “How would you like to help me kick off this little impromptu party, then?”

The chance to play seemed to wipe away any nerves Tango had, replaced with a cheeky grin. “Oh, absolutely! What you have in mind?”

That was how they wound up split around the fire, Jimmy stuck behind Scott while Gem and Skizz had Tango’s back, Impulse off to the side with his drum stick ready to try and make an instrument of the side of the trailer rather than pull any part of his set out. Lizzie and Joel couldn’t be bothered to join them, clapping along as Scott found his rhythm and began. 

Most of them were already buzzed, laughing at Fwhip as he tried to narrate the song instead of any of the many vocalists among them. His beat was off entirely, almost a different song. “See, the devil went down to Georgia ‘cause he was lookin’ for a soul to steal-”

“Boo, you suck!” Gem shouted while Lizzie’s laugh turned into a piggish snort, drowning the poor manager out, until he nearly flung his beer can at Tango to start his part.

Immediately the man was swept up in his assigned half, jumping on top of the tree stump left for chopping wood and twisting his face into a comically evil sneer like he was playing a mad scientist in a Saturday morning cartoon. One of the blood red straps of his pants flung out in the movement like a devil’s tail, and for a second Jimmy could see his character too clearly. A menace tempting his quarry. “Now you play a pretty good fiddle, boy, but give the devil his due.” He sang, voice rough and copying a southern accent as he wagged his finger, then pushed his violin forward. “I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul, cause I think I’m better than you!” The entirety of GIST cheered on his little act.

Never one to be outdone in showmanship, Scott glided up onto his own feet, flinging his arm out to take up as much space as possible. As always his pitch was absolutely perfect. “I’ll take your bet, you’re gonna regret, ‘cause I’m the best there’s ever been.” Scott jerk forward into Tango’s personal space, the two now eye level, as he held just a bit longer than needed on ‘ best .’ 

Jimmy could see the slight surprise in Tango’s eyes, stumbling back half a step. It seemed to be what Scott was looking for, straightening up with his shoulders a bit more squared while he took over the fiddle for the chorus. When his smirk turned to Jimmy like a smug cat he jokingly rolled his eyes back before he turned his focus to harmonizing. If he didn’t concentrate when they played Lizzie and Scott could easily leave him in the dust.

The song played on. Tango seemed to struggle a bit at his part, face twisted in concentration, tongue stuck out, to keep up with an extended version of the devil’s odd solo, but clearly enjoying himself. His bandmates all joined in and part of Jimmy was amazed at how easily even Gem, the newest member by a wide margin, fell in sync. It was messy, imperfect, but it was a feature not a flaw. They all seemed to be having the time of their lives listening to one another play along. Tango especially gazed back over his shoulder with the biggest and softest smile Jimmy had yet to see on the man.

They’d always gotten along since Jimmy met them, but in that moment something just clicked. No ego, no embarrassment or fumbling when a note tripped up. Immediately someone else picked up the slack and guided them back in before it could be noticed, and they were more than happy to do so. They played like there wasn’t anyone else in the world but each other and the music between them. This is why they’re here.

It left a strange feeling in his chest, like something pulling him down to earth. 

Johnny’s solo soon arrived. Jimmy fumbled, but that hardly mattered. Scott immediately blew everyone else out of the water. Perfect fiddling, perfect voice, perfect dancing, perfect face. Every inch of his performance shone with practice and a deep passion Jimmy wished he could catch just a drop of. He could see it in the other band’s faces, that they saw it too. It was impossible not to, the sort of thing even a layman could see. Scott was like the brightest star in the sky had deigned to fall into their presence for just a brief moment, enraptured in his own little world everyone else could only try to chase after.

A sigh escaped Jimmy as the solo wound down, his limbs feeling heavy as he tried to push away old emotions that only momentarily tasted like they used to before the sour aftertaste flooded back.

The groups cheered and shouted and laughed, patting each other on the back and praising one another. Most of all they congratulated Scott, before Tango’s bandmates all laughed at some mistake one of them had made. A strange spark Jimmy had never felt before filled his stomach like pop rocks as Tango put Gem in a headlock and messed up her braids, while Skizz stole one of Impulse’s drumsticks to play on their heads until Tango let go. 

Scott’s performance was dazzling, his part the most technically impressive, and it was never a competition to begin with.

So why does it feel like we lost?

-

The next morning Tango wakes up to a hand smacking him in the face, boiling, and sore. He groggily tears his eyes open ignoring the sleep crusting them closed to stare directly into a collarbone just barely jutting out from a blue pyjama shirt with a wet stain near the top button. Jimmy had completely encompassed them, long gangly limbs wrapped around Tango while their thin blanket was half trapped under them and half tangled by their feet. His cheek was pressed into Tango’s hair, murmuring a soft snore.

If Tango was more awake, he would probably be embarrassed, but one brush of the freezing morning air against the back of his neck sent him huddling closer into his bunkmate.

A whispered giggle sounded somewhere near the foot of the bed. Then there was a flash. He grumbled, shifting just enough to glance down and see what mischief makers were bothering his beauty sleep. It was Pearl and Gem, of course, still in their own sleepwear, trying desperately to cover their mouths, while a disposable camera was held tight to Gem’s chest. Pots and pans distantly clacked together from the open window behind them. The girls laughed again. This time Jimmy began to shift with an upset moan.

“Good morning, cuddle-bugs.” Gem teased. Tango stuck his tongue out at her.

“Wha’you wan’?”

“Scott and Impulse’re makin’ eggs for breakfast.” Pearl said, throwing her thumb over her shoulder. “Thought you would like some.”

Jimmy suddenly shot up with an airy squeak. Wide eyes stared at the girls in shock before it turned to Tango, then back to the girls. All the while his face turned darker and darker. He quickly detangled himself from Tango and the blanket. “Where is- What time is it?”

“Just after seven.”

Tango groaned and grabbed Jimmy’s pillow – abandoned at the edge of the pull out next to Jimmy’s guitar – and plopped it over his face. “Too early!” He tried to say, though the pillow muffled it beyond comprehension. Some folding part of the metal frame under the foam mattress dug into his spine until he also sat up just for some relief. 

Jimmy was stumbling out of bed, whining after Gem who ran outside with the camera. “Please, Gem!”

“Nuh-uh! This is going in the first page of my scrapbook!”

“Gem!”

Tango’s bones ached like a retiree just watching them flail around after the camera. Or maybe it was the damn bed, Tango had never felt something so uncomfortable in his life. Everyone else in the trailer was still curled up, save the two mentioned to be outside, though not necessarily asleep thanks to the camera combat. Another freezing morning breeze ran through him. God, he wanted his cuddle buddy back.

It seemed his prayer had been answered when Jimmy returned inside, walking stiffly up to the bed. Instead of returning to Tango, though, he only grabbed his guitar, sitting down on the edge to hug it close stubbornly while pouting. Part of Tango really wanted to ask, but that was probably too personal for someone he only met yesterday. Regardless, they were both unfortunately awake now, and so was everyone else, so Tango settled for grabbing his sweater from his bag and pulling the thin blanket over him. Jimmy didn’t seem to have been too happy with getting so snug with a stranger.

Only then, when he had accepted his loss, did he see Jimmy shudder. Tango blinked, narrowing his eyes. Yep, the poor guy was covered in goosebumps. With a defeated sigh, he removed the blanket from himself and pressed it to Jimmy’s shoulder. “You cold? Kinda lookin’ like a plucked chicken.” He tried to joke. Really? A plucked chicken? That’s the best you got? How many people have even seen a plucked chicken? Wait, was that why they’re called goosebumps-

Jimmy stared at him. Whatever was going on in that little head of his was out of reach no matter how much Tango stared back. He finally took the blanket from Tango, muttering a thanks, and wrapped it around himself and his case tightly. With a happy sigh, he sunk into the blanket, no sign of issue.

“You okay?” Tango couldn’t help but ask anyways. He was no good with new people. Never good at picking up on tells or body language he wasn’t used to. It was like being in a masquerade. In the dark. And he was blindfolded and high.

Jimmy nodded. “Yeah, I was just wondering if that’s why they’re called goosebumps.”

Tango sucked in a snort, almost choking on his own spit. “Yeah?” He squeaked.

“Yeah. Sorry, I’m not good with cold.”

“Oh, dude, same.” Tango whined, leaning back on his wrists. “It sucks. I just hibernate all winter.”

“I wish!” Jimmy bemoaned dramatically, to which Tango laughed.

“Just don’t let your fingers freeze, hard to play without them. Trust me, I know.”

Bafflement and concern decorated his face, fingers curling a bit further into the blanket. “What did you do?”

“Don’t worry they reattached them, they’re all good now.”

“Tango?” His voice high with shock, a laugh cutting it off.

Then Gem’s face reappeared in the doorway, “Eggs are done!” And once again she was gone.

Outside everyone had groggily surrounded Impulse and his portable stovetop. A pan bigger than the element sat atop it, absolutely filled to the brim with cheesy scrambled eggs. Scott was on the toaster, popping out nearly a whole loaf while slicing up oranges and tomatoes.

“You got the whole shebang going on out here, it’s like a five-star hotel!” Tango said, hands on his hips and eyes wide. 

Jimmy scooted past him to get a spot at the table. The thunk of his case alerted Scott to his presence, who raised an eyebrow, then suddenly abandoned the toaster. He came back and threw a blue sweater at Jimmy while snatching away the blanket. Jimmy paused for a long moment, but eventually wiggled the sweater on overtop his PJs. Unsure what just happened, Tango sat down beside Jimmy to wait for their plates.

“So, what’s the plan, planning lady?” He asked when Pearl passed by.

“Not much but drivin’ as long as we can.” She said, “If we’re lucky we might be able to get to the first venue by dinner tomorrow.”

Scott placed a loaded plate down in front of each of them, then coffee next to where he’d already set up the jam and peanut butter. “And someone else buys the snacks today.” He said as he turned off the burner while passing Impulse, who was facing away, pushing the last eggs onto his plate.

“Hey!” Skizz shouted, but no one came to his defence, a unanimous chorus of agreement.

Tango raised an eyebrow. “Are there none left from yesterday?”

“We grabbed a few at the station, but they were too expensive.” Joel said through a yawn. Beside him Lizzie was practically asleep again, face squished into her husband’s shoulder. A fact Jimmy seemed to notice as something sparked in his eye. He opened up his case, reaching into a small pick pouch and pulled out- was that a sticker?

It was. A grumpy little calico kitty cat playing with a lemon that said ‘ sourpuss ’ underneath, and it very carefully made its way onto the sleeping woman’s cheek. Joel was side eyeing the taller man but to Tango’s surprise said nothing. Not until after Jimmy had fully retreated and started digging into his meal did Joel nudge Lizzie awake. Tango raised his eyebrow to his bunkmate, who was trying not to snicker too loudly. 

They were fed, changed, and packed up by nine. The folks who hadn’t showered the night before did so before they lost water. This time the car keys were tossed to Pearl and Skizz, allowing Jimmy and Tango to sit in the trailer for the ride. Not as fun as Tango hoped, with having to keep their seat belts on and everything locked away, but definitely still better than being crunched in a full car. 

It was nice to be able to talk to Impulse and Gem. As lovely as Jimmy’s company was, if Tango had been stuck with no one but a complete stranger for a second day in a row he might have just driven straight home. That day, consequently, went by in a blur of laughter, card games, and cat naps. 

Only every once in a while did he dare look up to see Lizzie’s face still obliviously marked by the cheap sticker. There it stayed the whole day, even when it hit noon and Joel began to grumble, passing a five-dollar bill into Jimmy’s grabby hand. They had not intended to be subtle by any means, but Lizzie seemed far too enraptured in whatever embarrassing story about GIST Gem was willing to share. 

The blow up finally happened at a gas station. Tango was filling the tank so he never saw what went down inside the store. All he saw was Jimmy and Joel nearly break the door off its hinges and beeline for the trailer, locking and holding their door shut just as Lizzie came shouting after them with a stick of jerky as a weapon. He leaned back, whistling for her attention when she started yanking on the door knob. A thumb over his shoulder directed her to the unguarded back door that would be hidden by the kitchen sink inside. Moments later there was more screaming, and Jimmy nearly ate asphalt escaping thanks to the weight of the guitar on his back while Joel tried to calm down his wife. It only ended when Pearl stepped in.

Overall, Tango was starting to think this arrangement might actually work out.

“Do you like westerns?” Jimmy asked, leaned against the side of the trailer while they waited for the last bathroom runs. On the road, the trailer was emergencies only.

Tango tilted his head back, trying to recall, “I mean, can’t say I’ve watched a lot, but cowboys are pretty cool.”

His face lit up and he reached into his bag, pulling out a cardboard video box. “They had some VHSs inside, and I found Pale Rider in them.” He showed off the movie, box coated with dust from how long it must have been sitting in the middle-of-nowhere station. “Would you help convince everyone to watch it? They never let me pick movies.”

“You got my vote, little buddy, for whatever it’s worth.” He gave a thumbs up. There was a little tv up in the back corner of the trailer with a built-in player. Tango knew he was a techy, not everyone was so quick to buy a dvd player as him when you could hardly find dvds to play on it, but it still felt so old. The trailer itself was yellowing here and there, clearly a bit of an older model in all ways, but well-maintained. He hadn’t even thought about on-board entertainment, or he might have brought a couple. Then again, “Just a warning though, I also don’t usually get to pick movies.”

“Do you only pick horror movies?” Jimmy guessed. “Or action?”

Tango made a little wavering noise. “I mean I guess some of them are, but nah. Just tend to be fine with their picks and not vice versa.”

“Well, if you find something, I’ll vote for it, too.”

“We’re heading off!” Impulse called from the driver’s window as Scott climbed up into the seat next to him. 

Jimmy gave a salute, and Tango was about to do the same when the younger spun on his heels with a big grin and reached past Tango’s shoulder. His brain never caught up with what was happening until Jimmy was already backing away from the one arm hug and running back inside. “Thanks for the vote, partner!” 

It took another moment for him to climb back into the trailer, confused and oddly warm. Well, that certainly scrambled a piece of the Jimmy puzzle Tango was putting together. Maybe he was just a koala in disguise. That’s why he was always hugging that case.

It wasn’t until an hour later, while reaching for a bag of sunchips, that a tug against his skin caught his attention. Slapped upside-down right over top of the GIST tattoo on his forearm was a little ginger tabby in a cowboy hat with the words ‘ meowdy purrtner ’ beside him. It took all of Tango’s strength not to laugh or look at the bickering culprits. Maybe he could pretend he never saw it, just to get his partner another five.

-

A day and a half later they finally stepped foot into the first venue.

It was a pretty nice one, a big field not too far from town and surrounded by sparse forest. Not a well-known spot compared to some of the others. Jimmy recalled an interview with Griande where she spoke about the venues, though, saying it was a more personal choice. The site of her first big rock fest. They’d arrived just in time, the last set-up being done on the stages for opening tomorrow afternoon. Campers already dotted the designated areas, breaking out drinks and turning the air sour with all sorts of questionable substances.

“This is it.” Lizzie said, dropping a case beside Jimmy and making his heart skip in its racing. Both bands were busy sorting out their instruments behind them. Jimmy gave a stiff nod, willing his nerves enough to calm to at least help. Unfortunately, Lizzie knew him too well. “Why don’t you relax while we set up?”

He didn’t want to. As terrified as he was, he wanted to do something. They were just bags, he could carry those, right? 

But it was eighteen hours before things started and the crowds were already pooling in tandem with the weight in his gut. “Yeah.” He mumbled, pulling his guitar in close to his chest.

Lizzie smiled, her hand resting on his back. “It’ll be okay, Jimmy. We’ll do great. And if anyone tries to heckle us, I’ll just beat them up!”

“Sure.” He chuckled, trying to imagine his petite sister wading through the crowd to slap someone in the face. She would, or try to, at least, security be damned. Heckling wasn’t the problem, though. With Lizzie and Scott he knew they would be well-received, and Joel was more than competent. No, it’d always been what happens on stage that terrified him. The things people were too polite to say but were always thinking.

Lizzie gave him a small hug, then started toward the stage they’d be playing on. “Make sure to check your tuning before tomorrow.”

“Right…”

Jimmy took a deep breath and plopped himself down on the grass, leaning across his case with his cheek flat against it. He could feel his heartbeat slow a little, but it was still hard to breathe. Both bands buzzed around him, with the exception of Skizz. He was far off, exchanging cash to a group of hippy-types who already looked absolutely baked. Scott was off with Fwhip and Pearl having the big boy discussions, while the rest of GIST sorted the two band’s equipment from one another next to them. Joel’s silhouette could be seen in the trailer, running about, until he came out with a folding table. I should be helping him. But he didn’t move an inch. With how his hands were shaking he’d just drop something important.

 Muddy footsteps trampled up to him. He turned to rest his other cheek against his case and look up at Tango. He carried a long, green bag and a nervous smile. “You doin’ anything, partner?” He asked, as if it wasn’t obvious. Jimmy shook his head. “Wanna help me set up the tent? I dunno about you but two nights on that damn table is more than enough for me.”

Jimmy choked on a laugh. “Yeah, sure.” 

Tango beamed and shuffled the tent on his shoulder to offer Jimmy a hand up. Before he could think about it, Jimmy took it, letting the shorter heave him and his guitar up off the ground. He could feel the mud clinging to the back of his jeans but ignored it for now.

“Alright then, let’s see how bad we can do!” Tango cheered.

[discordantwritings]

Nine People I’d Like to Get to Know Better

From here

Thank you sm for the tag @fanaticsnail! I really want to make friends here but also I am So Bad at it my social anxiety will never let me message someone first. Know I yearn for the human connection

Last Song - The Masochism Tango (Tom Lehrer)

If you haven’t listened to this song- please do. Tom Lehrer is a hell of a guy. He’s the guy who not only did The Elements Song but also invented the Jell-O shot. Icon.

Favorite Color - Blue

Purple and grey are close seconds though. Cool colors through and through for me.

Last Movie - John Wick 3

The John Wick movies are a comfort series for me I’ve seen them so many times that it’s soothing to my brain.

Sweet/ Spicy/ Savory - Sweet

I cannot handle like any spice. I’m such a huge baby. I also have a giant sweet tooth I’m so excited for Easter because that means all the peeps are on sale and it’s the best excuse to shove sugar covered sugar into my face.

Relationship Status - Single

And happily so considering I’m aroace. Which may seem odd given my writing but the theoretical is where I feel comfortable exploring my relationship with… well, relationships.

Last Thing I Googled - Jugular

I needed to make sure I was spelling it right lol

Current Obsession - Honkai Star Rail

Don’t ask how many hours I’ve played in the last few weeks it’s a scary number. My wheels are spinning and none of my friends are playing right now so I’m screaming into the void and writing fics. Talk to me about that Black Swan/ Acheron animation I haven’t stopped thinking about it. When Gallagher is officially out I’m going to write so much x reader for him I’m only a little sorry to the people who only want to read One Piece stuff but that man is (screams into my pillow)

Sooooooooo everyone I was going to tag has been tagged. And I can’t think of other people to tag that won’t give me anxiety 🥲 but I hope it’s ok to tag the people I would have tagged (a short list, yes, but yknow) - @turtletaubwrites @hey-august

[slashmagpie]

spotify wrapped-77?

Send me a number 1-100 and i will try to write a short fic based off whatever song that corresponds to in my spotify wrapped replay 2023!

“Oh, hello.”

The newcomer blinks. One ear twitches. Ren turns towards her, eyes wide, startled. 

“Lizzie?”

“It’s good to see you again,” says Lizzie, and she’s only a little facetious, only a little bitter.

“Where… are we?” Ren looks around. It’s dark. The void stretches on and on forever, flecked with specks of light.

“Dead,” says Lizzie dully.

“Oh.” He blinks, rubbing at his head. “I don’t know what happened, I was—I was Tango, for a bit, I think? And now—oh. Oh, I feel sick.”

“Yeah, it’ll do that to you,” she says, flicking a nail. “How’ve you been, Ren? I haven’t seen you in a while.” She stares at him through narrow eyes.

“I haven’t seen you either, my Queen,” he says with a bow. “It’s been far too long.”

She snorts. Hugs her knees to her chest. “Don’t make me laugh.”

“What did I do?”

“My Queen,” she echoes, mocking. 

“Well.” Ren hesitates. “You were.”

“Not anymore.” She reaches up, swipes her wrist across her eye. She’s not crying anymore, though. There are no tears to wipe away. It just burns. “Now I’m dead!”

“Are you okay?” Ren asks.

She laughs. “I died. It wasn’t even for my task! It wasn’t even cool! I just—I looked at an enderman—why wasn’t I wearing a bloody pumpkin?! I spent so long trying to convince Cleo to wear a pumpkin, and then I—agh. It was embarrassing. I’m an embarrassment.” She buries her face in her knees. “Don’t look at me.”

Ren is quiet. She thinks, for a moment, that he’s moved away, but then there’s a hand in her hair, and a voice saying, “I don’t think you’re an embarrassment, my Queen.”

She snorts. “Everyone else does,” she says lowly. “I died before Jimmy. Do you know how embarrassing it is to die before Jimmy? Everyone says he’s cursed! I’m just—I’m just—incompetent. And nobody even cared.”

“I care,” Ren says softly.

“You’re dead too.” She scowls into her skirt. “You weren’t even really alive.” 

“...That doesn’t mean I don’t care.” 

“You didn’t.”

“What?”

“Last time—Last Life—you—you didn’t want me anymore. And then I died. And this time—I was alone again. I thought I worked better alone. Certainly worked better than all that nonsense with the Fairy Fort. But—here I am again! Dead!” She laughs. “Stupid game. I shouldn’t have played.”

“I know the feeling, my friend.” He settles down, sitting beside her with a sigh. “It’s okay. You don’t have to play again if you don’t want to. God knows I don’t.”

She steals a sideways glance at him. “How come?”

He grimaces. “Do you know how I died last time?”

“No.”

“Grian dropped dripstone on my head. I didn’t even see it coming. It was—it was a one in a million chance, my dude, the luckiest shot in the world, and he made it. Everyone thought it was so cool. Nobody thought that it was sad that I was dead. Well, except for Grian, who thought it was sad that BigB died because of me.”

Lizzie tilts her head to the side. Peers up at him. “That must be pretty embarrassing for you, huh,” she says.

His ears flick back against his head as he sags. “So embarrassing.”

“Well…” She straightens up a little. Rubs at her eyes again. Says, “I suppose if someone must see me in such a state, it should be someone who’s just as pathetic as me.” Offers him a small smile.

“Aye, my Lady,” he says with a laugh. “What a pathetic pair we make.”

[dancingbabya-notes]

Whats a relationship?

<-♧—♧—♧—♧—♧—♧—♧—♧—♧—♧—♡—♡—♡—♡—♡—♡—♡—♡—♡ ->

I just wanted to write a character that happened to be Present Mic's big sister and also had a fling with All might at some point in her life.

Don't be mad at me.

<-♧—♧—♧—♧—♧—♧—♧—♧—♧—♧—♡—♡—♡—♡—♡—♡—♡—♡—♡->

“Mom, Japan is huge.” Your daughter smiles as you guide her through toward your new apartment.

“We lived in America for a while honey, it's just new.” As you remind her of this you almost miss the face she makes.

“Mom, I have seen everything in America, it’s boring. People suck, and you said I get to see dad if we come to Japan,” she sasses.

Stopping for a second you frown. “Hizuru. Stop it.”

She looks at you and pouts. “You promised.”

“I know, you can see him but I don’t know about telling him,” you grumble. “Anyway, let’s go home. We still have to unpack.”

Traveling wasn’t something you liked to do but nearly ten years ago you decided to leave Japan for work, it was as if you were an accidental runaway bride. But it takes two to tango.

Hizuru bore a strong resemblance to her father, a strong frame and tall, she was only ten and nearing five feet already. You knew she was about to hit a growth spurt, and you were worried how her quirk would adapt with that. Long blond hair, but your eyes,

She got a combination of your own quirk with your dads, the ability to manipulate and detect close range threats. Your quirk threat-detect was helpful but that was only one aspect to your quirk. It seemed she didn’t get her father’s quirk or any inkling of it. You didn’t know his parents' quirks so you couldn’t say that she got it from his side.

“Mom, does dad know?”

You stop cutting the box open. “I haven’t been able to talk to your father since I left Japan. Luckily I was able to register you as a Japanese citizen.”

“Yeah, lucky.”

“Stop whining. I- will see about the two of you meeting. If I grab your hand don’t say anything, if I don’t you can say something,” you sigh.

“Okay mom.”

Maybe ten days later you looked at your hero uniform then to the door.

“Hello Nezu.” 

“Radar, it’s been some time. Have you been well?”

“Yeah, do you really want me to start as a teacher here? For second year English no less?” You frown.

“Unless you want to teach art.”

You look down and think for a moment. “Art might be the better choice. I think I wanna stop using English.”

“Alright, good. I’ll let everyone else know. You mentioned that you had a daughter? Did you get married back in America?”

“No, you know I could never do that.” You laugh.

You grew up in a sense with Nezu.

“I know your strong attachment to Yagi.”

You stop. “Anyway, I should start getting my lesson plans ready. Wouldn’t want to underwhelm the students who literally face danger almost everyday.”

“Don’t worry too much about-“

You look back to the door confused. Your quirk was going nuts telling you that someone was close by.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I might still be a little off since getting back. I’ll see you again in a week.” You nod with a bow.

Just as you pull your cloak over your head you pause.

“How’s he been?” You whisper.

“He’s doing okay.”

“That’s good to hear.”

Just as you leave the room fixing your mouth piece over you squeak, thankful that you hadn’t pressed the power switch on your mask. Yagi Toshinori was standing right outside the door, quickly casting your eyes down and brushing past him.

“Radar.”

Ignoring the sound of your hero name you kept walking.

“Kasumi, wait.”

You stop. Damnit. Wiping the tears on your glove you try to compose yourself before turning to the tall man and flashing the best fake smile you can manage.

“Hi, how have you been Yagi?”

“I could have been better, just busy with work. How have you been? You have a daughter right?” He adds.

You feel your heart stop. “Who told you?”

He seemed taken aback. “What?”

“Who told you I had a daughter? I’m sure I’ve done my best to keep her life as private as possible. Even her birth was hidden so how did you know?” You narrow your eyes.

You had managed to keep your personal life and hero life separate and you wanted to keep it that way. Since the last time the two mixed you ended up with a child and the father of said child didn’t know who she was.

“Your brother told me.”

“Hizashi? I have half a mind to beat him up, anyway she’s fine. As much of a handful as a ten year old can be,” you look toward the window.

“So you got married?”

“No. Never got married.” You roll your eyes and consider it. “She’s yours.”

He seemed to miss what you said. “Glad to know you're doing well.”

“I gotta go.” You manage before turning away. “I hope you have a wonderful day Yagi.”

With spring you were leaving Hizuru to school and you were starting teaching. Obviously you didn’t have much to do but it was a lot when spread out across the grades.

“Miss Radar, how is drawing still life gonna help us?” Someone asks.

“Have you ever wondered how others stay calm? They have more than one thing that they can relate to keep them calm.” You catch the incoming pencil. “Imagine you’re constantly working, always going on patrol, staying in the office and barely going home. You’re doing your job but you can’t function at peak performance without the proper rest. Everyone has to find that one thing that calms them down from the adrenaline of battle or you’ll tire quicker, and get reckless. Then your friend will be saying goodbye to you before your true time because you worked yourself to the very last drop of blood.”

“Is that what really happened to your-“

You hand the pencil back to Bakugou. “I guess still life is a bit boring, how about we try a different exercise next time? I’ll have to ask the other teachers but next you’ll be drawing from life.”

As they put their things away and you get ready for your next class you notice your phone ringing. Picking it up, you answer a bit confused.

“Hello?”

«Is this the mother of Yamada Hizuru?»

“Yes, this is Yamada Kasumi.” You look out the window.

«Today there was an incident, there was an intruder in the school and Hizuru took it into her own hands. Everything’s fine but she was hurt.»

Your breath caught in your throat. “I’ll be there momentarily.”

«of course.»

Ending the call you pocket your phone. The tears were already clouding your vision. Strings of curses left your mouth as you try to figure out what to do.

“Miss Yamada?”

Wiping your face quickly you compose yourself. “Ah, I didn’t think I’d get hero course after hero course. Please grab your materials and begin, I need to step out for a moment.”

Leaving the room you were thankful that you ran into your little brother.

“Woah, sis what’s wrong?”

“Hizuru got hurt. I was so stupid, I shouldn’t have, I shouldn't have taught her how to protect herself, what am I gonna do Hizashi?” You almost broke.

“I can mind your classes. Go let Nezu know.”

You give a firm nod trying to get there without breaking again. Nezu scolded you for wasting time and let you leave. Practically sprinting out of the school to get to your daughters school. 

“Mom!”

She was sitting on the back of an ambulance. Her smile widens as she jumps down to run to you. Bandages around her head and arm.

“Hizuru?” You felt your stomach twist. This was all your fault.

“Mom I know you told me not to mind my quirk at school but I couldn’t just let someone else get hurt,” she grabs your hand, her smaller hand shaking trembling even.

You pull her into a hug as you sob into her hair. “Baby please don’t scare me like that, please.”

Like a rubber band snapping she was brought back to reality, you felt her tears first, then it was the crying.

“Mommy I was so scared.” She sobs as her arms wrap tightly around your frame. 

Brushing her hair with your fingers, you pick her up into our arms. Trying to keep yourself calm as she cries. Ten minutes of crying and she was asleep.

“You have a strong girl, I thought she would have started crying sooner.” One of the policemen sighs.

You smile as you hold her. “We faced quite a few incidents back in America.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. We’ll be doing better to make sure this incident doesn’t repeat itself.” He bows.

“Thank you.”

“Miss Yamada, please let her rest tomorrow. Coming to school again might be a little stressful.” The teacher frowns.

You give a nod. “Of course. Thank you again, I’ll be taking her home.”

With her backpack you carried her home. You called Nezu and Hizashi to let them know that she was okay. They suggested you stay home. You felt bad for doing so but sent your plans for the next day to your brother.

The next day at school an announcement was made. Aizawa held the paper as he read over it his own heart ached. “Yesterday an intruder got into an elementary school, a student defended her class and the intruder was apprehended. Due to this incident we ask that everyone be careful on their way to and from school.”

“Aizawa Sensei, why are we hearing about this?” Ashido asks.

He looks at the pink haired girl before thinking. “Principal Nezu felt this was important information to share. You are all still children without hero licenses.”

All might was worried. All the teachers knew that you had taken a sick day to care for your daughter, which meant the two of you were recuperating at home.

“Hizashi, do you think she ate properly?” Midnight asks.

“Yes, since she’s had Hizuru, Kasumi remembers to eat now. You should have seen when she was pregnant she kept forgetting meals. She said she’ll be here tomorrow, but she has to pick up Hizuru from school.”

“Does that mean she did all that work for nothing?”

“I hope not. Sis practically bled herself dry to make sure the news kept their nose out of her personal life.”

“How old is she?” All might asks.

“Hizuru just turned ten. Kasumi complains that she takes after her dad too much. But I think Hizuru is the spitting image of my sister,” Hizashi shows the male the picture.

It was weird. All might wasn’t sure why but he saw a bit of his physical image in the young girl. The picture was one from this morning because he recognized the three stars tattooed on your arm.

“Kid hasn’t even lost all her baby teeth and she’s protecting others from danger.”

“You should have seen the situations Sis got in because of her quirk. Hizuru’s is just as powerful if not more. Kid said she can see when someone is intending to hurt someone.” Hizashi puts his phone away. “How long has it been since you actually talked to my sister?”

Yagi looks away. “We had a brief conversation when Nezu hired her, but not a true conversation since before she had her daughter.”

Hizashi sighs. “Look my sister isn’t exactly the straight forward type but you two need to talk.”

“I see what you mean.”

Midnight had little idea what the two men were talking about but it seemed important.

When you came to school the next day you felt less worried but you didn’t know what to do to calm your nerves.

It was the support course today, you had been looking forward to teaching the general course but it couldn’t be helped.

“Do we really have to?”

“I’d say no, but I am curious to see what you guys will make that would only be for display.” You respond.

“Sensei, why weren’t you here yesterday?”

“Family emergency.”

“Oh.”

It was no secret to anyone at Yuuei that every single instructor is or was a pro hero. You were no exception. Though you didn’t wear your hero costume you really only needed your belt if you needed to do anything. Plus your mask.

After the USJ incident you were petrified for those students. The entire day your alarms were blaring off the charts. So you were glad it wasn’t a false alarm.

“Radar, are you okay?” Aizawa asks as you get up from the desk.

“Yeah, just a little tired.” You mumble.

“Why don’t you…”

You shake your head. “I need to see what schools Hizuru wants to go to. She’s been studying for exams and I’m curious how she’s gonna use her quirk. Hopefully it’s not gonna cause a repeat.”

He looks at you and frowns. “How did she learn how to do that?”

“I taught her, while we were in America a lot happened. Someone tried to take her,” you admit. “I couldn’t do much without the possibility of her getting hurt. Lucky someone was able to help me.”

“So you taught her for your peace of mind?”

You nod. “My baby is all I have left outside of my family. But I’m sure my parents don’t want to deal with me if something happens to her.”

“Kasumi don’t say that.”

“It’s true, Shota, thank you for being friends with Hizashi.” You smile, grabbing the pile of papers.

In your classroom you checked that you had the right item. Pulling the extra large canvases out you smile. The floor and walls were properly covered and the paints were ready.

“Hello Yamada Sensei.” “What are we doing?” “Woah those are huge.” “I dunno how this will play out.”

You smirk. “Okay. So I know what I promised but I thought this would be a better alternative. We have several students here who are very particular about how they do things. That’s fine, but we’re gonna throw that out the window.”

You roll your sleeves back and dip your hand in the yellow paint.

Slapping it on the canvas you kept separate, you smile. “I wanna see how chaotic you guys can be, while still making art. There’s twenty of you, and five canvases. Divide into groups of four and go plus ultra.”

They seemed confused. But they all quickly took off their blazers and rolled up their sleeves. It wasn’t long before paint was flying and splattered all over the place. You smile at the chaos.

“Woah what’s going on here?”

“Oh I didn’t realize class was over. Please go wash your hands and go to your class. I’ll take the blame for you being late. Class 1B we’ll have a similar exercise. I just need a moment to get things ready.” You chuckle scrambling around. “Class A, that paint is washable and doesn’t stain.”

Placing the canvases aside to dry you chuckle. “Class B if I could have you divide into five groups of four please, and if someone could refill the paints?”

“Right Sensei.”

The exercise was equally chaotic and just as fun with class B.  You were relieved that you had an easier time cleaning.

As you were leaving a hand caught your shoulder. “You have red paint in your hair, Yamada.”

You look for a second running a careful hand through the short locks. “I do. It must have been Bakugo. It’ll wash out.”

“What did you do? The hero course students were more energetic.” Yagi asks, confused.

“We let out some chaos, hopefully this gave them a moment to explode without fear of injury.”

“Kasumi, next time could you keep it more controlled?”

You smile at the male. “Shota, chaos has no reins, you cannot control it. Sometimes it can be reeled in but never controlled. Hence I have no qualms with the fact that Midoriya got a huge hand of green paint in Bakugo’s hair.”

You could hear your brother rolling over with laughter. “Midoriya did that?”

“I think it was a group effort between him and Uraraka. Anyway I gotta go,” you grab your things. “Hizuru said she misses you.”

“My favorite niece misses me? I should visit her soon then. Her birthday is coming up, right?”

“Her birthday is in two weeks.”

Hizashi grins. “I get to spoil the baby.”

“Try not to go crazy.”

You stopped by the bathroom to wash out the paint from your hair. Once clean and sure there wasn’t a mark you left to pick up Hizuru. She was just excited at the idea that she was doing things. Her wound healed nicely because Recovery girl came to visit her. 

But due to an overlooked timing Hizuru had a day off of school and you couldn’t leave her at home, no one could watch her because she didn’t trust anyone else. Nezu let you bring her.

“Uncle Hizashi, Uncle Shota!” She springs up to hug the men. Her excitement wasn’t shared but nonetheless they greeted her.

“You gotta stay at your mom’s desk okay?” Hizashi reminds her.

“But I wanted to-“

“She is my extra hand during the class 3 A and B classes. It’s fine. I thought since the chaos exercise was well received that the older kids might like it too.” You chuckle. “But I borrowed some stuff.”

“By borrowed-“

“Borrowed. I can clean up and return items, stop thinking about it too much, come on Hizuru.”

“Uncle, guess what? Momma made me a special lunch, and I get to pick what's for dinner.”

“Really? Doesn’t Kasumi usually make everything?”

“Mhmm, but lately momma keeps getting so sleepy that she can’t even get up for our run.”

“Hizuru, stop. Hizashi doesn’t wanna know about all that.”

He looks at you and then at your daughter. “What do you mean?”

“Well, momma still sits in the living room crying about daddy. I wonder if they can be friends again, because I don’t like when momma cries.” Hizuru states.

You rub at your temple. “Hizuru, stay with your uncle until I come back.”

“Okay.”

You go to prepare your tools. Hizuru looks at your brother and smiles.

“Uncle, does mom like working?”

“You know she does. What’s this about her crying?” Hizashi frowns.

“Well, I noticed it since we came here. Sometimes she’ll stay in the living room and I hear her crying. She did that a lot when I was little,” she explains. “Do you think she misses my dad?”

“Of course, but it’s a bit more complicated than that. Next time you see her crying, call me okay?”

Hizuru looks at her uncle. “Okay. I’ll do that.”

“Speaking of what do you want for your birthday?”

“Hmm, maybe a dog. One that can protect us, someone keeps knocking on the door and bothering mom.”

“What?”

You frown. “Hizuru!”

She looks down.

“Kasumi?”

“It’s fine I can handle myself. I always forget that living alone culture is different everywhere,” you sigh, patting your daughter. “Hizuru I didn’t mean to shout.”

“I know, I’m sorry mom.”

“Let’s go.”

It wasn’t long before her birthday came around. That single day of her coming to the school left a laying impression that you received many presents for her from the third years and teachers. Yagi even bought some things. Hizuru was more than happy to receive all the gifts.

You didn’t expect it to lead to— “You guys want to come to our apartment?”

“Just to check.” Hizashi frowns.

You sigh. “Fine if it’ll make you relax you can come over. I’ll make dinner or something.”

“Good.” Shota sighs.

“When exactly do you want to come over?” You ask, checking your phone you frown. “Hizashi, did mom and dad message you recently?”

“No, what’s wrong?” He looks at your phone and all the energy drains.

“I need to go, I swear they’re the worst.” You feel the anger bubbling up.

But before you can continue a mask is placed over your mouth. No sound escapes the mask and you glare. Misdirected anger isn’t usually your forte but it was something that had to do with your daughter.

Grabbing the cloth you pull it between your fingers before feeling what should have been a growl but was silent.

“Kasumi, calm down. Tell us what happened.” Aizawa sighs unfazed.

Taking a few deep breaths you try to think as Hizashi takes away the mask. You had a quirk similar to his, but it wasn’t as powerful.

“Mom went behind my back and took Hizuru to their house, she’s claiming that I can’t take proper care of her,” you manage. “She’s so stuck in her ways. I’m so glad I didn’t stay in Japan when I found out I was pregnant.”

“Don’t worry, mom won’t do anything you know that. She’s gotten… you know I think we should go pick her up after school.” Hizashi admits.

“Thank you.” You sigh. “I know it might seem extreme, but I can’t let mom-“

“Kasumi I know, just finish the day and we can go pick her up together.”

You and Hizashi have different dads. The voice quirk was from your mother, and your detection quirk was from your father. But Hizashi only had your moms quirk. She often made you completely dependent on her when Hizashi decided to be a hero. So you did the same in an unconventional way.

“Yamada Sensei? You’re drinking paint water…” Hatsume states pointing to the glass in your hand.

“Please excuse me, I don’t know where my mind is,” you sigh before leaving the classroom. “I’ll be right back.”

Good job. You make your way back but the paint residue has stained your face. Groaning you make your way back to the classroom, going through the closet you put the mask on and continue teaching.

By the end of the day you wanted nothing more than to sleep. But the thought of seeing Hizuru made you happier. First you stopped by the school and told them if anyone came for Hizuru that wasn’t you or Hizashi was not allowed to take her. Then Hizashi drove you to your moms house.

“Hizuru we’re going home.” You state crossing your arms.

“Momma! How come I’ve never met grandma?”

“Because my mom tried to sell me off so she could have money. When I told her I was gonna have you she kicked me out.” You state brushing her hair with your hand.

She pouts. “No wonder my senses were going off like crazy.”

“She has the same— Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“You never asked. Tell Dad I said hi,” you picked up Hizuru and went home.

Much to your relief everything went fine before the planned day of company coming over. Nemuri, Shota, Hizashi, and Yagi were coming by your apartment for dinner and to see how safe your apartment was. The addition of Yagi was a surprise to you. You almost expected him to bail.

“Hello,” he towered over you like the tall man he was.

“Come in, I was just finishing the food prep. You don’t mind that I’m making dumplings right?” You ask, though you felt like a flurry of emotions were spiraling around you.

“Mom who’s…” Hizuru looks at her father as you dry your hands on the apron.

“You remember Yagi, he’s a dear friend of mine.” You state gesturing to the man.

You couldn’t admit you had just been crying about him two nights before. Grief stricken at the time you lost and the severed connection from a hasty escape.

Hizuru swallows and gives a big smile. “Yes, I remember. Nice to meet you sir.”

“You’re a lot taller than I would imagine a ten year old to be.” He chuckles. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine, we have a signal in class for when my quirk is alerting me of something. And all the teachers are more careful of who comes in and out.” She smiles.

“Go finish what you were doing so we can prepare the rest of the food,” you glance back toward the main part of the apartment. “Yagi come in. Everyone else should be— Hizashi, I can see you.”

“Surprise.” He chuckles holding something.

“You have till the count of five.”

“It’s just a harmless gift.” He laughs pushing the box into your hands.

Hizuru looks at the tired male following after her uncle and grabs his hand. “Uncle Shota look, I built it.”

You could barely contain the chuckle. “Thank you for coming. Nemuri you can come in as well.”

“Here I thought this would be a good gift.” She holds something up and you could barely contain the chuckle.

“I don’t really drink, Just before Hizuru was born I stopped drinking,” you laugh. “But thank you.”

She pouts. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

Closing the door you got ready to finish preparing the food but Hizashi kicked you out of the kitchen. “Let me do it. You’ve probably been buzzing around like a bee all day.”

“Rude, I was just making sure everything was clean.” You mumble.

“It’s a lot bigger than I thought but it’s not secure,” Shota states.

“I know, I need to replace a few things but other than that it’s fine.” You shrug.

Just as you sit on the couch, the bell rings. Hizuru was about to answer the door but you shake your head about to get up. Shota walks to the door, opening it to the man who had been bothering you.

“Oh- I didn’t realize she’d had someone…”

“What do you want?” Shota raises a sleepy brow.

The man seemed to fidget around. “Nothing.”

“Can you stop bothering my mommy?” Hizuru made herself known as you grab her shoulder gently.

“What's going on between me and your mom is between us, kid.” 

You narrow your eyes and you pick up the mask sitting on the counter, pulling it on but not turning it on. “Goro, I have a question for you. What do you think happens to people who underestimate someone?”

“Not much.” He shrugs.

You push Shota back away from the door and smile. “No. You lose the game, that's what happens. Please leave me alone before I call the building manager.”

“But I was just-“

“Being polite?” You narrow your eyes. “A lot of people were being polite, half of them were wanted criminals. I'd appreciate it if you left me alone. My brother doesn’t take too kindly to anyone bothering me and I always let my baby brother do what he wants.”

“I’ll go.” He huffs.

“Bye bye.”

Closing and locking the door you sigh. You used this moment to put your mask on properly and scream. It was a quirk suppressor, it rendered your voice useless in combat and you were thankful for it. 

Taking off the mask you frown. “Now that that’s solved can we eat?”

You look at your little brother who’s been making food and he nods. Two people were still frazzled from the situation but Hizashi and Shota were used to this. Hizuru has seen watered down and extreme versions of this so she continued on as she did.

“Big sis Nemuri, how did you become a hero?”

“I went to school with your uncle, do you know how your mom became a hero?” She smirks.

“Nemuri that’s not a fun—“

“I wanna know, momma never told me how she became a hero?” Hizuru’s eyes lit up and you groan.

“Go ahead and tell her.”

Hizashi clears his throat. “When your mom was in school she went to a normal public school. So one day she was walking to school and she told one of the staff members to check the front gate, when her school started the gate got locked to keep others out. The teacher checked and the way they locked it was tampered with. At first they suspected your mom.”

Shota rolls his eyes. “A poor move on their part. She dumped her bag and stripped down to her gym uniform in front of the teachers. And she was obviously clean. So when not even fifteen minutes later, she ran into the main office and took the intercom over.”

Hizashi laughs. “Sis was a bit more reckless than she is now. But she states in the com ‘today we will have a mandatory fire drill.’ She didn’t get in trouble because that is a code for the public schools now. Do not leave the classroom, there is an intruder.”

“I know that one, in America we hide in a corner. With the lights off, I always thought it was stupid.” She scoffs.

“I know that all schools have different countermeasures. Sis’s school had teachers find the intruder and arrest him. This wasn’t the turning point. Because one hour later another intruder had entered the school. This time Aneki who’d played softball since she was little was able to detain the intruder. The school couldn’t ignore this.”

You grumble. “It was lucky the bat I used to practice was illegal for in-game use. But it made me realize that if I’m gonna feel this feeling I’m gonna protect people.”

“She ended up studying under one of the old teachers.” Nemuri nods.

“Jiji was cool though,” you shrug.

“Jiji?” Yagi asks, confused.

“Oh, I studied under Grandtorino, it was through his recommendation I was able to get my hero license.” You state. “I wonder how he’s doing.”

“You were sensei’s student?”

“Yeah, did he not tell you about me?” You frown. “Well that is like him, I didn’t make much of an impact. I’m not even all that popular as a pro.”

“I’m sure you’re amazing.”

“Nah, they had me doing undercover everything in America. Honestly it was annoying.”

Hizashi frowns. “What?”

“Yeah it was all undercover, protection jobs. Nothing I really liked but I was glad I came back to Japan.” You shrug. “Hizuru, go get ready for bed you look like you're gonna fall asleep.”

“Okay, good night.”

You were happy that the night went okay. But as everyone was getting ready to leave, Yagi gave you a worried look.

“Did you wanna—“

Everyone else had left and he was just getting ready to leave, or so you’d thought.

“Is she my daughter?”

How would he..? You stop doing the dishes and look at him. “What makes you think that?”

He frowns. “I’m not stupid Kasumi.”

“Toshinori, I didn’t call you stupid.” You frown as well.

“Is Hizuru our daughter?” He asks again.

You run a hand through your hair and sigh. “Yes. Are you happy now? She’s your daughter, our baby. Does it make you happy knowing?”

He takes a slow breath. “Why now? Why didn’t you tell me when you found out?”

“Because I was leaving Japan. On top of that you fucking disappeared do you know how confused I was? Suddenly I was pregnant, I couldn’t find the father and I’m in a new country.” You explain. “It wasn’t easy, but everything was fine. I never told you because when I was walking out of Nezu’s office it was the first time I’d seen you.”

He groans. “Ten years?”

“Yes, ten years, she had your hair. Your smile, and your personality. She, like us, can’t sit by and watch.” You add. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know where you were. I know you’re a pro hero but I don’t know which one. To top it off you didn’t want a relationship, you made that very clear before I left.”

“Kasumi just—“

“No, listen I may have been wrong keeping Hizuru away from you but you didn’t want a family in the first place,” you state.

“You’re right, but that’s just it. I was wrong too, I shouldn’t have pushed you away but I did. Maybe you were right to keep her away from me,” he groans.

“Momma, I need help with…” she watches the man from behind you. You gently wave her over.

“Hizuru, you can say hello properly now.” You sigh.

Her eyes light up and she hugs him with all her might. “Hi daddy, I’ve wanted to talk to you this whole time. Momma always told me about how great of a hero you were and that you’re really strong.”

“Are you sure about this Kasumi?”

“My first mistake was being honest with her.”

(Masterlist)

[legally-allowed-to-slime]

ask and ye shall receive. the funny thing is i actually didn’t expect anyone to want a part 2, but i had an idea that was kind of like, i can write this but i can also not write this, iykwim

this one’s a little longer

-

There was nothing to do, nothing good to say, nothing interesting to think, nothing soft to feel.

Time slipped by and dragged on in the void. Lizzie could have been here three minutes or three decades.

That was another thing. Forgetting. After Scar had left the game, so had the whispers, and Lizzie had been embraced by silence, like a heavy, inescapable blanket.

She’d thought having voices surround her all the time had been bad, but it was even worse when there was no sound at all.

She tried to remember their faces. Joel. Pearl. Scar. Tango. At first it had been clear in her mind, but after a while it grew hazy and she wasn’t sure if Scott had black hair and Grian brown or maybe the other way round or was it Etho who had the blue hair?

Then she’d silently ridiculed herself. Etho would never get blue hair.

A bit more darkness passed, and she forgot who Etho was and it seemed perfectly reasonable for him to have blue hair.

Lizzie was always one to notice details, and she was slightly scared, okay, really scared that she couldn’t remember the hair colour of people she used to play with.

Had she?

Or had it been a forged memory, the loneliness and the darkness and the pressing quiet sparked an imagined game, one where she talked and laughed and there was light and grass underneath and sky above and a house to live in and-

She shouldn’t think about it. Shut it out. It’s not real, it’s always just been nothing.

Lizzie prided herself on being fearless, but right now she was terrified. Terrified of the void around her, of the lack of life, of how she was unsure if life had ever existed.

Terrified of nothing, as the light seeped out from her mind, vanishing somewhere she couldn’t go.

-

Anger, untouched by any messy and diluted feelings, running deep in his veins and boiling back up in pure, unrestrained red. And now that red-hot anger had cooled into the red of steel and iron, of a freshly crafted, stinging sword.

Joel didn’t bother answering when Grian sent the coords in chat and kicked off on his elytra so violently his legs hurt. Eventually he swooped in on a colourful valley and saw a smudge of red on the green landscape. He hurtled down and landed with a loud thud.

“Grian.”

It wasn’t a word; it was a growl that was just barely forming itself around a name.

The red spot turned, revealing a small brunette in a big sweater. He smiled brightly. “Hey there, Joel! Nice of you to pop by for a visit, I was just touring the Soup… um.”

He paused when he saw Joel’s murderous expression.

“What did you do?” Joel snarled.

“What did I do?” Grian asked, panicked. “If you’re talking about the Geneva Convention thing, that was Scar—”

“You know what I mean.” Joel said. He didn’t pull out a sword. He didn’t need to. His tone was deadly enough.

“I do?”

“Lizzie, you idiot!” Joel yelled and gestured wildly with his hand. “I’ve been looking for her for the past week! She’s not replying to my messages, I checked Empires and the hardcore world and everything, and she’s not anywhere! She hasn’t come back since your stupid life game!”

Grian didn’t flinch at the outburst, only blinked. “It’s not my game.” He said sourly.

“Drop the act, man,” Joel snapped. “This is your doing, Grian! Lizzie’s trapped in the Secret Life server and it’s your fault. Haven’t you done enough damage already?”

Grian met the taller man’s eyes and saw the despair and anguish. He remembered that look. Scar had looked like that after Secret Life, and Pearl after Double.

And, of course, he had seen it in the mirror for months after the first game.

“You don’t know she’s there,” He said steadily.

“Where else can she be?” Joel said angrily. “Stop taking this so lightly. Lizzie’s gone and you’re running around looking at bases like it’s a holiday.”

“Well, it is—”

“Shut up and listen. I asked Jimmy, and he said he didn’t see any ghosts around after he died. Lizzie should’ve respawned as one. For some reason, she didn’t.”

Grian didn’t say anything.

“It can’t be that the code was wrong since Jimmy became a ghost just fine, so it means that someone was deliberately messing with her. And who can mess with someone who fell into the void? No one, that is, except you and your stupid Watchers.”

Grian swallowed. Took a step back. “You- you’ve really thought this through.”

“Yeah, with all the time I’ve spent alone.” Joel said viciously, and the memory of staring at the sunset (no Lizzie there, none of the twinkling laughs harmonising with his chuckles, none of the snarky remarks, just him, standing alone) flashed through his head.

Grian winced at that one. “Joel, I’m sorry, I really am. I would love to help, but I don’t know how to.”

Joel’s lip curled. “Of course you do. Get me into the server, I find Lizzie, we get out.”

“The Watchers would be furious. They’d kill me.”

“Not before I do if you don’t,” Joel glared. “So you can do it? Do it.”

“The Life server remains locked once the game finishes,” Grian persisted. “Though… it has to be the Watchers’ void Lizzie’s in. They send the winners there after every game.”

“And you didn’t see Lizzie?” Joel yelled.

Grian didn’t seem perturbed. “We didn’t get any happy winners’ reunion this season. I thought it might be because Scar didn’t die immediately. It seems it was just because they had a new subject. No offence.”

Joel tried to imagine it. The server itself was bad enough, but a void created out of the Watchers’ minds? Anything might happen. She might be injured, or dead— Joel smoothed the thought over in his mind.

“Then open the void now.” He said, this time with no threatening tone below it, but Grian took one look at his bloodshot eyes from seven sleepless nights and nodded.

“Hold on, Lizzie,” Joel muttered as he followed Grian to the Rift.

-

There was nothing to hold on to.

You’d think the memories would be clearer, having nothing else to think about, but they seemed to be seeping into the void, like a slip of paper shaping itself around the wind and darting away.

She’d forgotten everyone. She had a dim recollection of someone called Joel, who must have been important in some way, but what she couldn’t remember.

Lizzie started to grow bored, and the void crept over her.

-

“The thing about being trapped in the void is that you mustn’t grow bored.” Grian explained. “Usually no physical harm comes to you there — Usually.”

Joel waited for Grian to continue talking as the latter hurried himself with connecting the Rift to the void.

“If you grow bored, you become apathetic. Listless. It’s not that you don’t want to, you don’t care about existing anymore. And the void listens.”

“Like… it takes you?” Joel asked, and his stomach suddenly felt horribly hollow.

Grian affirmed it with a solemn nod. “There’s no danger when the winners go in because there’s each other to talk to. You hold on to what existing is.”

“What about Third Life?” Joel asked.

Grian shrugged, and pointed to the Rift. “There. A two-block hole is all I can manage. Hopefully Lizzie will see the rip and make her way out if she’s sensible.”

Joel was aware that Grian had evaded his question, and realised that he’d probably suffered the same fate as Lizzie. The soft part of Joel twisted with guilt at how he’d yelled at Grian. “Thanks, Grian,” Joel muttered.

Grian seemed to know what Joel was talking about. “Don’t mention it.”

Joel’s mind flit back to Lizzie, and his eyes to the purple gap in the obsidian-filled Rift.

“It’s a bad time. The server closes in two hours. If Lizzie doesn’t come back in that time I have no idea how to help you.” Grian said.

“I’m going in,” Joel announced, striding forward, but Grian stopped him.

“It’s too dangerous. What if you fall?”

Joel tried to break out of Grian’s usually weak grasp, but it was as if Grian had suddenly grown three times stronger. He looked back to see Grian’s determined expression.

“You can’t go in, Joel. I won’t allow it.”

An axe flashed into Joel’s hand as Grian flew around to stand between him and the Rift. All of Joel’s anger, at Lizzie not being here, at the injustice of her being trapped, suddenly focused on Grian.

“You better,” Joel said, and he swung.

-

There was a light. Purple, glowing dimly. It was the size of a pin, as if someone had pricked the thick fabric of darkness above her.

Lizzie stared.

It hurt her eyes, to have light pierce the constant darkness, but it seemed to bring everything else with it, memories crashing in.

Joel. She remembered who Joel was.

The purple light was growing higher and smaller, and she realised she must be falling away from it.

She didn’t care if the light led to a bad or dangerous place. Anything was better than nothing.

She grabbed an ender pearl from her inventory, and blindly threw.

Nothing happened. Despair kicked in. She started to care — about her life, about her existence, about the people that she’d left behind that was all coming back to her now the moment she’d seen that light. She was too late, she’d missed, again, and she would be trapped here forever. Lizzie grit her teeth.

Wait. The light was bigger. She’d somehow managed to pearl up, up into the void that was nearer the light.

Lizzie had no time to think about how that was possible. She grabbed another pearl, and flung it as far up as she could. She’d never been agile, but she knew that if she didn’t want to stay here forever she had to make it.

Too far. The light became a purple point below her. At her current angle, if she free fell, she wouldn’t be able to get to it.

Last pearl. She squinted at the light, focusing on it, and readied for the throw.

-

Grian blocked his swing with the diamond sword that materialised as he held up his hands. “Joel, you can’t. You’ll die.”

“Lizzie’s in there, and she might be dead or not even existing anymore! I don’t care if I die!” Joel shouted as he grazed Grian’s side with the axe.

“I do!” Grian shot back as the blades of axe and sword scraped across each other, producing a rough swoosh.

-

Lizzie saw the light, growing bigger and nearer as she fell towards it. She took a deep breath, offered a hasty prayer to whoever was there to hear it, and launched the pearl down.

-

Their steps were growing quicker.

“Grian, I’m going to kill you, I don’t care.” He was so close, so close to being able to take some control in this situation and actually do something, and Grian was refusing to let him in because he always did have to overthink at the worst moments, didn’t he?

“No, no, Joel, listen—” Grian deflected a heavy blow and breathed heavily. “Joel, it’s no good losing two people at once—”

“DON’T PREACH TO ME ABOUT LOSS!” Joel roared and his axe made a clean swipe through Grian’s torso. The man disappeared with a poof, a death message appearing in chat.

Joel knew he’d feel horrible about it later and apologise really hard and maybe treat Grian to some ice cream for putting up with him, but for now, his mind was only on one thing.

Joel threw down the axe and sprinted into the Rift.

-

Lizzie’s pearl activated, and her vision filled with purple. The light. She’d done it. It was glowing and moving and about to slip past…

“No, wait!” Lizzie yelled in panic, grasping at thin air, and then a hand.

Lizzie looked up in shock, hanging on the edge of the light.

The man she remembered as Joel stared down at her. His face betrayed no emotion, and he didn’t say anything as he pulled her up and dragged her, onto some stone floor in some dim room.

Lizzie blinked. It was so overwhelming, after being in nothing for—

“How long?” She croaked.

“A week or so,” Joel said with the grin that he always broke out when he was stressed, and only now did he let himself relax, relief and worry and happiness mixing in his eyes. “You’re on Hermitcraft now.”

“I’m not sure I know what that is,” Lizzie murmured, feeling hazy, her memories still shuffling back into place. She could sense everything, from Joel’s voice to the coldness of the rough stone floor to the purple light illuminating the room.

“You don’t need to worry about that for now. It’s safe.” Joel said as they sat next to each other, leaning against the obsidian of the Rift.

And she was somewhere, with someone, with lights and sounds and textures, and she was alive and it had been real. She could hear a voice growing louder, which she placed the name Grian to, and footsteps and the sounds of comforting banter between him and Joel.

Lizzie opened her eyes, and looked around at the world and every little thing that made it alive. A gentle smile began to tease its way onto her face.

It was alright now.

Everyone’s forgotten about Lizzie.

She’s sure of it. They must think she’s dead, and if they didn’t, they wouldn’t help her anyway, because they hate her.

That’s what she tells herself. That it’s deliberate ill intent, and not that any memory of her has just completely slipped from everybody’s mind.

It’s less painful that way.

And Lizzie’s been left on her own, falling through the void, darkness all around her.

She isn’t even sure if she’s falling. She might just be floating, untethered. There’s no wind here, and everything is just black.

The worst part are the whispers.

Lizzie didn’t know who they are. She’d tried asking them, but when she opens her mouth no voice comes out, which terrifies her. She might be deaf, she doesn’t know. She can’t see or hear or feel anything.

It means that if she cries for help no one would hear it. The whispers seemed to have been behind that.

The whispers.

A soft, steady pattering into her head 24/7 (if she could know the date) that would probably drive her insane if she hadn’t already and is just hallucinating.

She wants it to stop, so bad.

The communicator pings over and over. She watches the other players going on with their lives and deaths, the playful bickering, the serious reports, and so many, so many deaths.

She keeps wondering. Imagining scenarios whenever she sees a message. Etho dying to Scar’s hands. The Heart Foundation rambling about gifts and favours. Life continues, without her.

It’s as if she was never there at all. When Jimmy dies she hears the whispers discussing the players’ grief, of their shouts of anguish.

When she died there was just silence.

It’s no use. She’ll never know the circumstances, never know about the world going on above her while she falls.

She can’t send messages, blocked by solid code, only receive them. She concludes that it’s a cruel joke on the part of the whispers.

One day the whispers stop.

Lizzie is hopeful that this means a change in her situation, in which she’s completely helpless.

But then she checks the chat, and realises there’s no one else left on the server but Scar. The whispers have grown bored.

The ghosts leave the game, one by one.

Days pass. Could be months, or hours. Lizzie sees the last sign of life leaving the server when Scar’s death message pops up in chat, and she instinctively yells, “No!” and instead of the silence that would come before when she tried to speak, her voice emerges instead, hoarse from days of neglect.

Ironic.

She can only speak when there’s no one to hear her.

She knows Scar will happily respawn in Hermitcraft, congratulated on a stunning win. If it was stunning. She hasn’t seen anything but black for who knows how long, and she can’t even tell if her eyes are open.

She doesn’t say anything again, left in complete silence as she falls through the void, wiped from history.

-

people trying to justify canary curse with the “lizzie is still alive” theory are focusing on the wrong person in that hypothetical

i’ll write a happy ending if at least one person tells me to, which i don’t think will happen so i get to kick up my feet in the meantime

[mayflowers07]

Sam: so start any more wars on your server?

Doc: no, whenever there is a conflict though I’m always playing the villain

Sam: yeah you’re definitely the evil cousin between us haha. I’m one of the good guys on my server… except maybe when I held Ranboo’s kid hostage and then killed him

Doc, whose most “evil” act was a rap battle:

—————

Sapnap: okay so you can’t ask questions but I need to get revenge on someone for something what should I do

Tango: well that depends how bad you want them to suffer and whether or not you’re willing to deal with ravagers, but we have about thirteen different options regardless

Sapnap: …you’re the coolest big brother ever

Tango: tell me something I don’t know

—————

Dream:

Xisuma:

Dream:

Xisuma:

Dream: Dad-

Xisuma: I think the fuck not, get disowned you lil’ shit

—————

False: oh hey Stress, what are you up to

Stress: nothing really just sending my niece a care package

False: that’s nice that’s really swe… are those elytra

Stress, very clearly about to illegally ship Hannah a pair of elytra: …no

—————

Grian: no I’m not adopting you I barely know you and you’ve done nothing but antagonize me

Tommy: okay that’s fine. Of course no one would want me, I’m broken and awful and everyone always leaves me in the end

Grian:

—————

Las Nevadas: *just chillin*

Jevin: hi, I’m Jevin. I heard my cousin Slimecicle lives here now? I wanted to visit, i haven’t seen him in decades. How is he?

Quackity: …well fuck

—————

The Hermits: and that’s Philza, the Angel of Death, he’s as old as time itself, he watched continents shift around him, he has existed long before us and will live long after-

TFC: oh that kid? I remember him, I trained him forever ago when he was younger and I had just retired

The Hermits realizing how old TFC is: Oh. My. God.

[scumbagg]

NSFT/18+

Space Ghost Coast to Coast

A/N: I purely wrote this as Bell instead of Y/N since I can’t bring myself to write Y/N fics 😂 

I recently finished MW2 and needed some Ghost food to heal my broken heart after the traumatic betrayal I witnessed. Also maybe a bit of DadPrice! giving a lecture. Here goes nothing..

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Fem Bell

Word count: 3252

Warnings: smut, injury (gunshot), blood, swearing.

“Eyes up, scouts patrolling up ahead.”

Price’s voice in your earpiece came through at the exact moment the two men appeared in your line of vision 40 metres in front of you.

“Dropped him.”

Aiming your sniper, the guard trailing slightly behind fell to the ground before you’d even had time to place your finger on the trigger. Taking aim at the other man’s head, your rifle made almost no sound as you took him out a second later.

“Nice shot. Move up.”

“Thanks.” You whispered back. You turned back for a moment to the place you knew Price was laying hidden almost 90 metres behind you.

“Move, Bell. We won’t have much time before more patrols come along and find those bodies.” Soap’s whispered voice now, also in your earpiece - but you knew he was somewhere to the right of you hidden in the long grass. You crawled quietly through the grass. You heard the brush whispering slightly either side of you as the bodies of Soap and Ghost moved up to flank with you.

“Hold up, two more tangoes patrolling the fence line.” Price murmured a moment later. “Take ‘em out, or let ‘em move on. Your call Bell”

“No stragglers.” You whispered back. You heard the pops from Ghost’s and Soap’s suppressed guns as they took out the two guards ahead.

“Good call.” Price confirmed. “Can’t see anymore inbound. You’re in the clear. House up ahead is empty. We’ll regroup inside.”

“Roger.”

Standing up, you scanned the area out of precaution for more enemies. Satisfied, you nodded to the other two men to move up. The three of you passed the fence line and had almost made it to the back door of the house when it happened.

You heard it before you felt it. The sound of a pistol being fired in your direction had you spinning to face the direction it came from, when suddenly you felt white hot pain erupt in your left shoulder. Dropping to the ground, the sound was over almost as quickly as it started, but your eyesight went black as you squeezed your eyes shut in pain and gripped your shoulder as blood poured through your fingers.

“Bell!” The scream came from within your earpiece at the same time Ghost shouted your name, making your ear throb in pain. You hardly noticed with the burning coming from your shoulder, but you still flinched.

“What the fuck was that?!” You gritted through your teeth.

“One of the guards back there wasn’t as dead as we thought. He fucking is now. Don’t worry darlin’, you’re gonna be alright.” Ghost pried your hand away from your shoulder and replace them with his own. “Soap, get me the medi-kit from your pack, quick!”

“Darlin’?!” Soap laughed as he handed Ghost the pack. Frowning, he looked down at the two of you.

“He’s taking the piss.. it’s an inside joke.. had to be there.” You said through gritted teeth, glaring into Ghost’s glasses. Ghost said nothing as he worked on stopping the bleeding, but the minimal supplies in the kit weren’t doing much.

“Fuck!” Ghost said in a panicked voice. You were starting to feel drowsy, and the sight of all the blood was making you queasy. You could feel your head starting to spin, threatening to send you into unconsciousness.

“Ghost, she’s gonna be fine. Look, the bullet went straight through.” Soap said calmly, pointing at the bullet lodged in the brick in the wall just behind where you’d been standing. “It’s a clean wound, it’ll just need stitches.”

“Fine. We’ve gotta get her back ASAP. I’ll take her, you and Price grab the intel.”

“No, I’ll take her.” Price came into view, rifle slung over his back. “You’re the one that’s better with technology, you’ll get the intel quicker from the computer. Someone’s bound to have heard those gunshots, we’re sure to have company soon. C’mon Bell.” Price hoisted you up under your uninjured arm, replacing Ghost’s hands with one of his. Stumbling, you gripped Price’s arm for support. Looking over at Ghost, you noticed his eyes tighten behind his sunglasses, but he nodded in assent.

“Let’s get moving,” Price commanded, nodding at the other two. “Soap, Ghost, I’ll send for another chopper to pick you up. See you boys at home.”

*****

  Fourteen stitches and a bandaged shoulder later, the infirmary staff finally let you leave. Pushing open the exit door to the outside, you found Price leaning against a jeep waiting for you.

“What are you still doing here?” You asked suspiciously.

“Thought I’d give you a ride home. It’s a bit of a far walk and I assumed you’d be too hopped up on pain killers to drive yourself.” He replied, opening the passenger door courteously.

“Oh… thanks.” You said, taken aback by the display of kindness. It’s not that Captain Price was unkind; he’d just never shown any outward kindness outside of the field. You were surprised that he’d thought to even come back for you.

The two of you drove in silence for a few moments, before the question you were burning to ask broke its way out of your control.

“Did the other two make it back okay?” You tried to sound casual, but your insides were turning with worry.

“Yeah, they got back about an hour ago, no issues.” Price answered, concentrating on the road.

“And the intel?”

‘Acquired.” Price gruffed.

“Hmm, very good.” You stared straight ahead, watching the sun settle in the west. This was the first time in a non-formal environment you’d ever spent a moment alone with the Captain, and you weren’t sure how to make small talk with him. You sat in silence as Price drove you through the city. You wondered how he knew where you lived when it occurred to you that being a member of his team, he’d know where everyone lived. Not that you spent much time in your own house these nights. You thought back to a few nights ago...

The sound of Price clearing his throat awkwardly pulled you out of your reverie. Looking over at him, you watched as he shifted in his seat and waited for him to speak.

“What is it?”

Price sighed. “Look, I really don’t want to have this conversation. But I’ve told him the same thing I’m telling you now. This is one of the best task forces I’ve ever worked with, and I don’t want anything fucking that up. Understood?”

You felt your calm composure slip through the cracks as your eyes widened in panic. You glanced over to see him still staring straight ahead, his mouth set in a hard line.

“Wait, you know about-”

“Of course I fucking know.” Price snapped, watching you out of the corner of his eyes. Shit, so maybe he did know where you actually slept after all. “I know everything that goes on in my team. Look,” he said calmly. “I don’t give a fuck what you get up to in your spare time. It’s like I told him, I’m not going to report it. It’s not been an issue yet. Just don’t let it affect you on the job.”

“I haven’t! I’ve been so careful about trying to keep it professional while we’re on a mission!” Your heart raced at the fact you had been caught out.

“I know you have, Bell. But that man is head over heels for you, in case you hadn’t realised. I’m concerned he’ll let his feelings for you get in the way of the job. Look at today – he’s the best man on our team for tech, and he was willing to throw the whole job, just out of pure panic for you.” Price sighed again. “I’m not sending either of you away. I just needed to remind you of the main reason we are here. If you two can’t handle that, I’ll be forced to find someone to take your place on the team.”

“Does anyone else know?” You asked quietly.

“I don’t think so, but if Simon continues on the way he was today, I doubt it’ll be long until Soap catches on.” Price grimaced, then looked over at you. “Darlin’,” he grinned.

“Ughhh,” you groaned as Price pulled up outside what you now realised wasn’t your house. “I can’t believe he let that slip out.” You unbuckled your seatbelt, careful not to move too much that it pulled at your stitches. Opening your door, you looked back at Price. “Thanks for the ride, I appreciate it.”

Price smiled and nodded in response. “Don’t be too harsh on him about today,” he said, looking over your shoulder as you heard the front door open behind you. You closed the door and waved as the jeep drove away.

*****

  All your anxiety from the conversation with Price suddenly turned to irritation as you turned to face the man in the doorway. You stormed towards him, your uninjured shoulder hitting his lower abdomen as you barged your way past him into the hallway.

“Bell-” he began.

“Get out of my way, Simon. I need a fucking shower.” You snapped irritably.

“Here, let me help-”

“No.”

“Bell!” Simon pleaded.

“What the fuck was that today?!” You snarled. “You might as well just fucking announce to the whole place that we’re together!” You began climbing the stairs towards the bathroom, but stopped halfway there. Staying angry wasn’t one of your strong suits, and seeing him standing pleadingly in the hallway washed away your irritation. “Look,” you sighed heavily, coming back down the stairs so you were eye level with him. “I just had the lecture of a lifetime from Price. I can’t lose what we have here Simon, and he warned if we couldn’t keep it professional out there, then one of us would be replaced.” You stepped towards him, reaching for him in both apology and forgiveness. You placed a hand on his masked jaw, your thumb stroking along his hard cheekbone.

“I’m sorry for today,” he said apologetically, leaning his cheek into your hand. “Seeing you injured and in pain, all that blood… I panicked.”

“It’s okay,” you soothed. Smiling up at him, you smacked his arm playfully. “You’re silly, you know that right. Even I knew it wasn’t bad, and you’ve seen way more injuries than I have. I can’t imagine how you would’ve been if Soap hadn’t been there to pull your head in.”

Simon wrapped his arm around your head, resting his hand at the base of your skull and pulled you in for a hug. You lifted your other arm to place it around his waist and winced. It didn’t go unnoticed.

“How are you feeling anyway, darlin’?” He stepped back to survey you.

“Rubbish. These pain killers are doing their job, but I feel disgusting. I really do need a shower.” You looked over your shoulder towards the bathroom. “I uh... might need a hand actually,” you said awkwardly, wondering how you were going to manage without getting your stitches wet. Surprisingly, this was your first major injury, given your line of work.

“C’mon,” he said, pulling you towards the bathroom.

 Simon turned on the shower and helped you undress, helping remove your shoes, pants and underwear, aware of your fresh wound as he carefully pulled the shirt from your arms and over your head. His eyes filled with remorse as they fell on your injured shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, darlin’,” he whispered. “That guy that shot you… that’s the one I took down. I didn’t know he wasn’t dead.” He looked away sadly.

“Hey,” you grabbed his chin gently and turned his head so he was looking you squarely in the eyes. “It’s not your fault. Stop blaming yourself, no one else does. I’m fine.”

“But what if it had been worse? What if that bullet had landed here?” Simon touched your forehead. “Or here,” he said, touching the base of your throat. “What if-”

“Don’t think about it,” you said firmly, pulling his hand from your neck. “Simon, I said I’m fine.” Still holding his hand, you pulled it up to your lips. “There is one thing I am annoyed about, though,” you smirked as you kissed his fingers.

Simon looked at you quizzically. “Why am I the only one naked right now? Surely you’re not gonna shower in your clothes.” You stepped inside the shower, letting the water run over your head, careful to avoid letting it hit your left shoulder.

Simon’s eyes squinted, and you knew he was smirking behind his mask as he removed the rest of his gear and dumped it on the ground next to yours. As always, his mask was the very last thing he removed. No matter how comfortable Simon was with you, and no matter how many times you’d seen him without it, there were certain insecurities that were too deeply ingrained. The last piece of Ghost removed, and only Simon stood in front of you.

Simon stepped in the large shower with you. Grabbing a face washer and pouring body wash on it, he gently helped scrub off the dried blood that had made its way down your torso. He shampooed, conditioned and brushed your hair, knowing you couldn’t lift your arm to wash any dried blood that had knotted in there. Once you were clean, you grabbed the other face wash and carefully, with your good arm, moved it across his chest and abdomen. He watched as you gently made circles on his large shoulders and down his muscular arms.

You wrapped your good arm around the back of his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. “Don’t be too long,” you smiled as you stepped out of the shower and wrapped yourself in a towel.

Walking to the dresser, you pulled out some clothes and attempted to get dressed but you couldn’t pull the shirt over your head. You sighed, and sat on the bed resignedly, still in your towel. You heard the shower stop running, and Simon stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Here,” you beckoned, reaching for him. Simon came to stand in front of you, standing in between your legs. You leaned forward and kissed his stomach, feeling the warm skin beneath your lips raise with goose bumps. You tugged on his arm, pulling him down towards the ground. He knelt, still between your legs, and leaned forward to bury his face in your neck. Almost a whole foot of height difference between the two of you, yet you were the only person who could bring Simon Riley to his knees.

Your good arm snaked its way around his broad back, tracing his spine, down to his hips to the edge of the towel. You heard Simon’s breath quicken, still lightly kissing your neck, when your fingers made their way around to the front of his towel and tugged it loose, letting it fall to the floor.

You lightly brushed your fingers down his stomach and over his navel, until you reached the base of his shaft. You felt Simon’s breath hitch as you gripped it in both hands.

“Bell..” he groaned.

“Mmm?”

He brought his mouth round to yours, kissing you deeply. His mouth trailed back along your jaw to your ear. “Why am I the only one that’s naked?” You felt his smirk against your cheek as he repeated your line back to you.

“Maybe you should fix that,” you whispered back.

Simon wasted no time in removing your towel and throwing it across the other side of the room. You laid back on the bed as he trailed kisses down your chest, taking a nipple in his mouth and thumbing circles around the other. Your hands threaded themselves through his thick hair as you massaged his head. Simon’s hands followed his head as he made his way down your stomach and down your navel, his hands gliding over your hips and massaging up and down your thighs.

You threw your head back and moaned in pleasure as he buried his face between your legs, his mouth sucking and licking at your clit. You gasped as you felt one of Simon’s fingers enter you, then two, and he slowly picked up a rhythm as his mouth and fingers worked in synch. You could feel your walls begin to tighten as you got closer to your orgasm.

“Stop,” you gasped. Simon looked up quickly.

“Did I hurt you?” He asked worriedly.

“Not at all,” you tugged at his arm so he pulled himself so he was hovered above you. “I need you in me right now,” you purred as you pulled his head down, his lips crashing to meet yours.

You reached down and grabbed his length firmly, stroking it. Simon’s eyes glazed over with lust as he moved his head back to your neck. Guiding him, you positioned him at your entrance.

“You sure?” he asked huskily. You knew he was teasing. He knew exactly what you wanted.

“Yes,” you breathed.

You both groaned with pleasure as he entered you, filling and stretching you out. Simon set a slow pace at first, until he was sure you had adjusted to him, then quickened the pace. His hands moved to your waist as he slammed into you, holding you in place so you didn’t move around too much. He pulled your legs over his shoulders and you gripped his forearms, lost in pleasure.

Simon leaned forward and your legs dropped to his waist. He took one of your breasts in his mouth. You moaned in ecstasy as he hit the sweet spot inside of you.

“Simon.. I think I’m gonna-” you gasped.

Still inside of you, Simon pulled you on top of him as he rolled onto his back. “Not yet, you’re not.”

“Owwwww!” You winced as the action pulled tightly at your left shoulder.

“Fuck! Sorry! You okay?” He asked worriedly.

“Yeah,” you moaned as you picked up the pace again. You brought your legs either side of his waist and pulled his hands to your breasts as you lowered yourself onto him, taking him completely. Now in control, you could feel every movement and every angle as you took him deep inside you.

Simon gripped your breasts firmly as he felt your walls begin to tighten. “C’mon, darlin’,” he groaned. “I’m not far off, myself.”

“I’m gonna come,” you whined. You rocked your hips back and forth and threw your head back as your walls clenched around him. You rode your orgasm out, and heard Simon groan as his own orgasm erupted into you. You fell on top of him, exhausted and satisfied.

Simon gently rolled you off him and onto the bed as he got up to get some water. Your eyes followed him, appreciating his finely sculpted body as he walked to the sink in the ensuite, grabbing a glass off the nightstand and filling it with water. He met your eyes as he walked back to the bed.

“What?” He asked bashfully as he handed you the water, aware of his nakedness.

“You’re beautiful,” you smiled drowsily, taking the glass.

Simon chuckled. “Are you sure you’re okay? They must be some strong drugs they gave you.”

“Hmmm... never better” you sighed as you handed the water back to him. Despite what you said, sleep was already pulling you under.

Simon leaned in and kissed your forehead.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

[pixiemage]

Widely accepted Hermitcraft Headcanons I’ve discovered since joining the fanbase last winter:

[ADD MORE IF I MISSED SOME!]

(DISCLOSURE: I’m currently 80% of the way through S7 and I’ve seen Grian’s POV of S6 (and his Evo series) but other that than I haven’t watched other HC seasons. All my knowledge of these comes from what I’ve seen, and Tumblr.)

- Grian has wings. This is an indisputable fact. Sometimes they’re white/gray like elytra, sometimes they’re like parrot wings (S7 Pesky Bird~), but they’re always there somehow. Often he’s also portrayed as a bird hybrid, since the concept of Mob Hybrid Hermits is an exceedingly popular one.

- (Less common addition: Grian is/was a Watcher, something that carried over from his Evo SMP series, though this headcanon is hit or miss depending on who’s drawing/writing him.)

- Mumbo is one of the few totally human people on the server, and half the art I see draws him with redstone dust stains on his clothes. (Also, the occasional headcanon of radiation burns accompanies this.)

- (I’ve also seen Mumbo portrayed as an enderman hybrid due to his height.)

- Stress is technically human, but she’s also a witch. Seen this one a lot, perhaps in relation to her potion shop in S7? Like I said that’s the only season I’ve seen in depth (beyond Grian’s S6) so that’s my only connection lol. But I love it! You need a healer? Go to Stress.

- Doc - of course - is half creeper, which may or may not have a hand in why he’s often morally gray in most HC plots. I often see him drawn as a centaur of sorts as well, with four legs like a creeper has. (Not sure if I love or hate this concept lmao)

- Doc is also part goat, a la S7. Hence the horns we see in like every drawing of him. Amazing.

- Tango is often portrayed as a blaze hybrid, though I’ve also seen him drawn as a kind of demon. The red eyes and fiery color palette work well for both options, though I’m partial to the blaze theory.

- Impulse - though usually drawn as a normal dude - is also sometimes seen as a sort of friendly demon. Not sure if that’s to do with the nickname Tango uses for him - “Impy” - or just the fact that the fans seem to like the idea of Hermits with wings. Though the fact that his first appearance on Hermitcraft involved the other members summoning him in with a summoning circle most definitely adds to this headcanon.

- Zed is a sheep hybrid. I’ve got no friggin’ clue where this one’s from but I’m here for it anyway. (EDIT: I’ve been told it probably has a lot to do with a game show he made during Season 5 called “Is That Sheep Looking At Me?” which sound hysterical and I can’t wait to see what that’s about)

- Scar is a vex hybrid, which is also part of why he was able to use “magic” at the start of Season 7. As far as I know this comes from ConVex, which was a S5 thing, but that’s all I know on the subject.

- (Cub, too, is sometimes a vex hybrid, due to being the other half of ConVex. Though this depends on the artist.)

- Xisuma is a Voidwalker, though I’m not entirely sure what that is. Apparently this is different than a Watcher and (obviously) has something to do with the void, but while I’ve seen this concept in passing in fics, I don’t have a basis for where this came from outside of Xisuma’s username, Xisumavoid. (If anyone can explain this to me I’d appreciate it! It sounds cool even if I don’t fully understand it!)

- I’ve ALSO seen the “Xisuma is a shapeshifter” or “Xisuma is a bee/axolotl/strider hybrid” because of how many different mob-based skins he’s used over the past few seasons.

- Ren is a werewolf or a canine-based shapeshifter. Friggin’ love this idea actually, and I’m never sure if this is solely based on Ren’s name or on something he did in a season I haven’t seen yet, because knowing him he’d totally have a wolfman character somewhere in his repertoire.

- Bdubs - and this is a headcanon I discovered more recently and it makes sense - is a phantom hybrid. He’s so finicky about sleep, and if he’s kept awake during the night he gets in a pissy mood because of it. I don’t see him drawn with any features from phantoms often, but behavioral habits show up in fics a lot. (Though a part of me finds this one funny because it also feels a bit backwards - phantoms are AWAKE at night and Bdubs abhors night time - but hey, maybe phantoms are just trying to kill you because you’re keeping them awake with your late night thoughts lol.)

- xB is often some kind of water creature hybrid, like a guardian or (occasionally, more recently) a glow squid. Super cool concept in my opinion.

- Joe may look human, but he is decidedly not normal. Either he’s some sort of humanoid cryptid, he has undefined psychic abilities, or he’s just in tune with the universe in a way most people aren’t.

[storiesbyjes2g]

My legs were heavy like metal as I walked toward him like a bot. That undeniable feeling was there too, though not as strong. I suppose its strength grew in tandem with my denial, begging for me to acknowledge it. Now that I had, I could breathe. Well...kinda. I needed to make it through this conversation first.

"Hey." That's all I could muster the courage to say.

"Hey." He stood there, staring and making me feel all kinds of weird, before whipping out a gift box. "Ok, look... I know me showing up here is weird and random, so I'll make this quick and get out of your way. There's nothing I can give you that will fix things between us, and even this gift is kinda stupid. But I wanted you to have more than just my words."

My heart pounded in anticipation of the gift and what he had prepared to say. My brain tried to come up with potential scenarios, but I didn't know what I would have wanted him to say.

"I've been thinking about our last conversation," he began. "My mom always said it takes two to tango, and...well, she's right. I can't put it all on you and wash my hands like I'm innocent. I'm sorry for my role in messing up your marriage."

My eyes got so big I thought they'd pop out of their socket. Now I understood why I woke up with an insatiable urge to figure out my feelings because if he would have apologized weeks ago or even days ago, I'm not sure I would have accepted. I would have absolved him and continued to carry the weight of shame on my own. Someone out there was looking out for me.

"I said you started it, but I could have stopped it. I should have stopped it. I should have woken you up the first time Ali called. Plum, I should have woken you up the first time I heard you snore."

I smirked and rolled my eyes.

"I should have done so many things different. You're my best friend, and I didn't have your back. I was selfish and didn't consider what was at stake. Maybe if I would have been honest with you long time ago, this wouldn't have happened."

That's true. I was losing friends like socks in the dryer back in those days because of that. And even though I valued our friendship, I would have done my best to walk away from him if he would have told me his true feelings. None of this would have happened, and I'd still be married. But I wouldn't have Dwayne in my life. I'm not honestly sure which scenario is worse.

"Anyway, I hope one day you'll be able to forgive me. Until then, I want you to have this."

It was a pack of flower seeds. How symbolic! We can start over and sprout a brand new friendship, however that may look. Or, if friendship isn't smart, we can start new lives on blank slates.

"Thanks, Dwayne. I appreciate this. And I do forgive you... I thought you hated me, so I didn't expect to see you again."

"Nah, I was mad. But I didn't hate you."

"That's good to know."

If he had expectations, he would have stated them already, so it was safe to assume he wasn't looking for anything. Still, I needed him to understand where I was.

"Dwayne... I'm... I have a lot going on right now. I'm glad we're still friends, but... My kids are here now, and I've just made a few big personal discoveries... I just need a minute to process everything, and I don't know what I want our friendship to look like yet. I hope that's ok."

"Of course. I had no illusions of things going back to how they were. All I wanted was to make a genuine apology. Everything else is totally up to you. I follow your lead, remember?" He winked.

I smiled wider than I wanted to. He always leaves the door open. Honestly, I'm not sure if that's a good thing, but it made me feel warm.

"I appreciate that," I said.

"Can I say something personal?"

Oh Watcher, please don't let this man ruffle my feathers tonight! I can't handle it right now!

"You look great. I've seen you out here jogging, doing your thing. And I love the hair. That color is illegal in Willow Creek, though."

I laughed harder than I had in weeks. My friend, Dwayne, is back, folks! I'm so glad I haven't lost him.

We said goodnight and went our separate ways. It was nearing bedtime, and Luca and Alessia were way too chatty to complete their homework by a decent hour, so I broke up their party and helped Alessia with hers.

Luca joined me for dinner while he worked. "Mama, who was that man outside?"

I really hope he missed the flash of panic in my eyes. I chewed my food extra slow as I thought up a decent response that was not a lie. "He's...our neighbor from across the street."

"Oh, ok," he said and went back to his homework.

I'm very surprised they haven't asked the question yet. Ali and I separated so long ago, and they were so young then. Maybe us not being together just became part of normal life and they stopped questioning it. But I know they're curious. I can see it in their eyes, and I can't hide it from them forever. It's time they know the truth about me.

[agent-whiskeys-sweetheart]

Meant To Be (ii)

Pairing: Hotch x F!Reader

Summary: Over a year after your first interaction with the BAU, it is finally time for your first day as an official team member. Even with all the excitement of the day, the biggest thing you look forward to is seeing Aaron Hotchner again. However, your perfect first day quickly turns out to be not at all what you had imagined. 

Warnings: None, some angst? 

Word Count: 5,585

A/N: Just know that I promise things are going to get better lol.

NOVEMBER 2007

QUANTICO, VA

For the first time in your life the sound of your alarm is a very welcome one as it rouses you from your light slumber. The whole room is filled with light as the sun streams through the cracked blinds. You had been in this apartment for two months now. It had taken some getting used to but it was starting to feel like home. That was very important to you seeing as Quantico was where you were going to be for the foreseeable future. It took you no time at all to sit up in bed, throwing off your blanket. When you got up to start getting ready, everything was exactly where it was supposed to be. Your clothes draped over the chair at the end of the bed, your go-bag on top of the dresser, and your entry paperwork out on the kitchen table. As always, you had thought out every minute detail. You are determined to make sure that your first day at the BAU is perfect. It had taken excruciatingly hard work and dedication to get to where you are now. Nothing and no one is going to spoil it for you.

After getting dressed in record time you grab your go-bag off the dresser and head out to the living room. You set it on the table next to your paperwork and make your way into the kitchen. Scrambled eggs and toast sound like a good way to start the morning so you get out a skillet and a few eggs. Before you even have a chance to turn on the burner the sound of your phone going off in your bedroom causes you to run back in to check it. As you pull it off the charger you immediately smile widely at the name that flashes on your screen.

“Hey there Miss FBI Agent. God, that sounds good doesn’t it? FBI agent. Or maybe BAU agent. Didn’t I hear you say SSA once? What does that mean? Is it good? It sounds pretty powerful.” 

“It means Supervisory Special Agent. And anything you call me that means I’m not hallucinating this whole thing is fine with me.”

“I like that. SSA Y/N L/N. Sounds official. Which is exactly what you are as of today! How are you feeling right now?”

“Excited. Prepared. Kind of like I’m on top of the world.” 

“As you should! It’s been a long journey to get here, you deserve to enjoy every step. I still can’t believe my little sister is in the FBI.” 

Your sister has been your biggest support system for as long as you can remember. No matter what path you choose, you know she will always have your back. It had been heartbreaking to leave her when you moved but you knew it would be worthwhile in the end. Today is when it finally pays off. She has called you almost every day so even though you are states apart, she is never truly absent. Hearing her voice now, getting the chance to share this moment with her, is more important to you than you know how to express.

“I can’t believe that you’re awake before noon.” This earns a scoff.

“I will have you know that I set an alarm for 5:30 so I would be awake in time to tell you good morning before you head off to work.” 

“That’s very sweet of you. I’m really glad you called.”

“Hey, there’s no way in hell I was gonna miss your first day!” 

“I appreciate that. It means a lot to have your support.”

“Of course! I will always give it freely. Besides, this is too cool not to talk about. You get to catch bad guys. You now have special government access. Plus you can basically read minds. You’re a real life superhero. How totally awesome is that?”

“Oh, I know. Why do you think I wanted the job? I’m glad you’re able to see its merits. Most people find it very morbid. Or boring.” 

“Well most people aren’t us.” Glancing over at the clock, you can’t help a small sigh from leaving your chest. Your sister of course catches on. “Do you have to go?” 

“Yeah. I only have about 15 minutes. Thank you so much for calling though! I always look forward to hearing from you.”

“Well I don’t have any patients today and I expect you to call me later tonight so we can talk about everything, okay?”

“Okay, it’s a plan. I love you.” 

“I love you too. Have a great first day.” You hang up quickly, making your way back into the kitchen to put away what you had gotten out. Instead you pull out a few granola bars to eat on the way. Even though this isn’t quite what you had planned you don’t mind one bit. Talking to your sister is more important. You briefly wonder if she took today off just so she could be there for you or if it is just a coincidence. If it was on purpose, you wouldn’t be surprised. It had always been kind of funny to you what careers both of you had chosen. She is a therapist. You are a profiler. While the two do have distinct differences there are also a lot of striking similarities. It’s just funny how life works out sometimes. Never what you expect. 

You head into the bedroom to grab your go-bag, making sure everything you need is in there. Picking up the paperwork from the table, you head out the door and downstairs to your car. After loading your things up, you turn on the radio to the most uplifting station you can find. This is the kind of morning where nothing less than radiant positivity is welcomed. It’s the first day of your new life and you are going to make the most of it, even if it kills you. 

The drive seems to go by in an instant and soon you find yourself in the parking lot of the BAU headquarters. There is still confidence bubbling inside of you but seeing the building right there in front of you causes the nerves to kick in as well. It seems so much bigger to you now. With a deep breath, you realize you need a little boost from your good luck charm. The small compartment on top of your dashboard opens with a click and you pull out the piece of paper inside. It feels good to have in your hands and you read the name at the top over and over again. Aaron Hotchner. His business card had stayed in your car all these years and whenever you felt nervous or unsteady, you pulled it out and for some reason it always calmed you. You were grateful to have it now more than ever. 

Feeling renewed, you set the card back in its cubby and get out of the car. Things in hand, you stride right up to the front doors and let yourself inside. Once inside the main lobby you head over to the front desk, where a man asks for your ID. Reaching into the front pocket of your go bag you pull out the badge you had collected weeks in advance. A feeling of power washes over you when he clears you, much like a year and a half ago when you had stepped inside the Fort Worth precinct. However, it was a much more intense feeling now. 

The journey towards the main offices of the BAU feels like a dream. The elevator carries you to the right floor and you float towards the glass doors that lead into your new workspace. Inside, it is bright and full of life. People move past you with such fluidity that it seems almost like a dance and baby, you are ready to tango.

Soon your attention is being commanded by a friendly voice you recognize very quickly. “Well, look who it is!”

Morgan makes his way towards you, a wide grin on his face. He looks just how you remember. You are glad the first person to greet you is someone you know. Now standing in front of you, he raises his arms and his expression changes as he silently asks for your permission. With a nod, you reach out as well as he pulls you in for a hug. 

“It’s nice to see you again sweetheart. I was starting to wonder if you were ever gonna show up.” Laughing lightly at this, you feel yourself relaxing. “Look at you, all professional. How does it feel?” 

“Completely liberating. It feels like it took me a lifetime to get here and now that I am, I can’t wait to get started.” 

“Well, you’re gonna get your chance sooner than you think. We just got a case this morning. They called us in a little early to debrief us. We’ll fill you in on the jet. It’s go time baby.” He lightly pats your arm with a smile as he leads you over to where the rest of the team is, all sat at their desks. Spencer and JJ you recognize but there’s one face that you haven’t seen before. “Look who finally made it.”

JJ stands quickly to give you a hug, patting your back. “Leave her alone. She was doing a lot of hard work to get here. She doesn’t deserve to be teased in her first ten minutes on the job.” She says to Morgan, shooting him a playful glare. “Welcome. We’re really excited to have you here. You’re going to make a wonderful addition to the team. If you ever need anything just let me know, okay?” 

“I will. Promise. Thanks.” Spencer is the next to stand, extending his hand to you. Taking it in your own, you nod respectfully. You don’t linger, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. 

“Hi. Sorry, I’m not much of a hugger.” 

“Oh, no need to be sorry. I definitely get it. It’s nice to see you again. I know we didn’t really get a chance to talk the last time we saw each other but I’m hoping to change that now that we’re coworkers.” 

“Of course. I would like that.” There is still a slight awkwardness in the way he smiles but not nearly as much so as when you first met him. He’s the only one of the three that you don’t feel much of a connection with but you are determined to change that. These were your peers now. Your new family. It was important to you that you get to know all of them. It was jarring at first seeing how familiar they are with you already but it doesn’t take long for you to become comfortable as well. However you quickly remember that there is one person you still haven’t met. Turning to her, you extend your hand. 

“Hello. I’m Y/N L/N.” She shakes your hand.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Emily Prentiss. These guys seem to have the advantage here. How do you all know each other?” 

“Oh, I shadowed them about a year and a half ago now while I was still a student. Today is my first day as a member of the team.” 

“That’s wonderful! Well, I’m excited to get to know you as well.” She offers a welcoming smile, one you appreciate. As you look around the bullpen you take note of the fact that Elle is nowhere to be found. At the moment you feel it isn’t your place to bring this up, so you simply smile at the people who are with you now. 

“So, I hear we’ve got a case.” You begin, desperately wanting to learn everything you can now so you can fully prepare yourself.

“Yeah,” JJ answers. “It’s a string of high level armed robberies in Los Angeles. Nobody has been able to identify or apprehend any of the unsubs. There are five of them. All of the robberies were almost identical except for the last one. Someone was shot and killed. That’s when the authorities invited us to work the case.” 

“Sounds like fun, huh?” Derek chimes in, jabbing you with his elbow. 

“I don’t know if fun is the right word. Interesting sounds better, I think. I’m ready to get started though.” 

“Yeah, I see that,” He gestures to your go-bag. “Good thing you’re all packed. That was a smart choice. They don’t always tell you to bring a bag on the first day. You’re all over it though.” 

“Well, you only get one shot at a first impression. I wanted to be seen as professional. Plus I am very rarely unprepared for things.” 

“Good. That’s a pretty good philosophy to hang onto, especially in this profession. The more prepared you are going into it, the better equipped you are to handle the stressors of the job. There’s a lot of tough things you’re gonna have to deal with but if you charge head first with a clear sense of where you’re going and what you’re doing, it’ll take a lot of the anxiety out of it.” You listen intently as he speaks with a tone of sincerity you have not yet heard from him. When he sees you staring at him, he chuckles. “First tip is free but next time I’m gonna charge you. Good advice like that doesn’t come cheap.” 

“Okay, good to know.” You laugh, looking towards the others with a smile. “How about you guys? Any free tips for the newbie?” 

“Yeah,” Emily chimes in. “Don’t listen to anything Morgan says.” This causes him to roll his eyes jokingly. “Although here’s a real piece of advice. No matter what happens, no matter how hard the job gets, don’t forget who you are. Don’t let this work compromise your beliefs and your morals. There are going to be times when you rethink what you know but don’t let the awful things you see harden you and turn you into someone you’re not. I can already see that you have a real light and kindness about you. Never let the bad people take that away from you or else they win.” Hearing this, your expression softens. For only having known you for a few minutes, Emily already seems to have bonded with you. Enough to give you such important advice. Her words linger in your head for a moment.

“I’ll definitely remember that.” JJ places a hand on your arm. 

“Can I add something?” You nod eagerly, wanting to soak up all of the knowledge that you possibly can from these people. “My advice would be to talk to your loved ones as often as you can. Trust me, you’ll definitely want to after some of the stuff that we see. Talking to someone outside of work and grounding yourself in those relationships will help keep you sane. You’re going to be really grateful for a strong support system later on.” 

“Luckily I do have a really strong support system in my sister. She basically raised me. She’s my best friend. It was hard to leave her but I know she still supports my decision.” 

“That’s so great. I’m really glad you have someone like that.” You nod, feeling a small tinge of sadness when you think about how much you wish she was here with you. However, it passes quickly when Morgan puts his hand on your shoulder as a sign of comfort. The gesture is simple but calming, almost as if he’s telling you that he is a part of your support system now too. You know the people surrounding you will have your back. That thought lifts your spirits immeasurably. 

“What about you? I’m sure I could get some good advice from a genius.” You say to Spencer after clearing your throat. 

He chuckles lightly and thinks for a moment. “I guess I would say don’t let your age stop you from reaching your potential. You and I are the same age so I think I know to some extent how nerve wracking all this must be. Just know that even though you are young you have a lot of skills and abilities to bring to the table. Chase after what you want and soak up everything you can now. I’m obviously a strong believer in the collection of knowledge so the more you learn the better off you’ll be later. And you have as much right to be here as anyone else. You’ve done the work so believe in your own skills.” The three of you watch him for a moment and he looks between you. “But, hey, what do I know.” His joke makes you laugh.

“No, that’s really good advice. Thank you.” Before you have a chance to say anything else, a voice from behind causes all of you to stop.

“What’s all the commotion out here?” Turning around quickly you see an older man with dark hair standing on the walkway that wraps around the bullpen. His eyebrows are raised as he begins making his way towards you. Upon seeing him you put on your best professional face but the others seem to stay relaxed as he walks over to you. Once he’s standing next to you he offers you his hand. “Hello.” You take it quickly, shaking hands with him as you maintain eye contact. Unsure of who this man is, you are afraid to make a bad impression. As you look into his eyes there is something so strikingly familiar about him but you aren’t quite sure what it is. “Who might you be?” 

“Sorry, sir. I am Y/N L/N. Today is my first day as a member of the BAU. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” His dark expression immediately lightens as he gives you a small smile. 

“Ah. It’s nice to meet you as well. Sorry to scare you. I just have to keep these trouble makers in line from time to time.” Seeing him smile causes you to grin as well, beginning to relax again.

“Of course. It’s not a problem at all sir.” 

“Well I’m David Rossi. Welcome to the BAU, I guess would be an appropriate introduction. I promise I’m not always so scary.” 

“Just most of the time.” Derek adds, causing David to give him a look.

“Please ignore him. I like to think I’m a nice man. I don’t want to scare you off on your first day.” At this you can’t help but laugh. 

“Oh trust me sir, you won’t. I’ve worked really hard to get here. There’s no getting rid of me now.” This causes him to laugh. 

“That’s a good attitude to have. It’ll get you pretty far in this career. Keep working, keep putting the bad people away. It may take a while but it’s a gratifying feeling. In the meantime, just keep your chin up and you’ll be just fine. You seem like a bright kid.” 

“Thank you, sir. I appreciate that.” 

“Please, you can call me Rossi. Everyone else does.” 

“Okay. Rossi. Thanks.” With a warm smile he pats your arm. 

“If you want a prime example of working hard to get ahead, look at Hotch. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that man not at work. That’s why he’s the boss.” Derek says. His words make your breath hitch. Just the mention of his name makes you nervous. It’s been such a long time since you’ve seen him and you only spent time together for one day but even so he has been such a huge inspiration to you. And seemingly for good reason. You already know that Hotchner is going to be the man to impress around here but you don’t mind that much.

“Speaking of, have you spoken with Hotch yet today?” Rossi asks. 

“No. I actually have some paperwork that I need to give to him before we leave, clearing me to travel and all of that. Could I possibly see him now?” You try not to sound too desperately hopeful.

“Yeah, of course. His office is right up there.” Rossi points to a door across the room. With a deep breath you nod in gratitude and then begin making the walk over to his office. It seems like an endless journey as you remind yourself over and over again that he’s just a person and you don’t need to be so afraid. Or nervous. Excited? Infatuated? Whatever the feeling is, it’s overwhelming. Once you’re outside his door, you close your eyes and breath before knocking. His voice is clear coming from the other side as he tells you to come in. 

Opening the door cautiously, you step inside with paperwork in hand. Hotch is sitting at his desk filling something out, not looking up.

“Good morning sir.” Upon hearing your voice he looks quickly up at you. His eyes are just as dark and intense as you dreamed, fixated completely on you. The two of you maintain eye contact for a moment and the world is nothing but him. Suddenly realizing what you’re doing you force yourself to snap out of it, reminding yourself that this man is your boss and you’re acting like a lunatic. 

“Good morning.” He says simply, not moving as he watches you intently. Willing yourself to gather up all of your confidence, you walk over to stand right in front of his desk. 

“It’s really lovely to see you again. Being here is like a dream. At the BAU, I mean. I’ve been looking forward to it for so long, I almost can’t believe that I’m here. Now that I am though, I’m ready to work. I plan to earn your trust now just like I did the last time we worked together. I won’t let you down.” With a sudden flush of embarrassment, you grip the papers tightly. You have only been in his office for a few seconds and already you have completely exploded in excitement. Taking another breath, you calm yourself. “Sorry sir. I’m just very excited to be here. If you couldn’t tell.” 

There is another moment of silence as Hotch’s eyes stay locked on yours, scrutinizing your expression with calm intensity. For a second you can almost see him thinking, as though he’s working something out in his head though you aren’t quite sure what that is. After a moment he stands up, putting you both on equal footing. Everything about him commands your focus and attention. A quiet prayer hangs on your lips as you wait for him to say your name again after all this time. Just once is all you need and then you’d be happy. No more daydreams, no more delusions, no more distractions. Just once and you can do your job. If only he’d quit staring at you so deeply and tell you exactly what you want to hear.

“I do appreciate your heartfelt words ma’am but I’m afraid I’m at a loss. I’m not sure I know who you are.” With that your heart drops. Of all the things he could have possibly said, this was the most disappointing. It’s such a small sentence but it is a mighty blow.

“I’m sorry?” You inquire, hoping that maybe you misunderstood.

“I’m really very sorry ma’am but I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not sure we’ve ever met.” Nope, you had understood what he was saying perfectly much to your dismay.

“My name is Y/N L/N sir. We did meet a little over a year ago now. You came to my hometown to work on a case and I spent the day shadowing you. I was a student at the time. Today is my first day here as a team member.” Hotch says nothing in response for a time, his expression exposing what seems to be a deep sense of regret. 

“I apologize. We go through a lot of cases, it’s difficult for me to keep track of all the people that come and go in my life.” That is all you need to hear to shut down any further fantasizing. You had come and gone from his life a long time ago. Frankly you feel foolish for indulging these thoughts anyway. It was one day a year ago. There is nothing to look into. He is your boss now, not some high school crush. This is a professional environment. This would be for the better anyway. At least those are the sorts of things you tell yourself. “I really don’t mean any offense. It’s nice to meet you. Needless to say we’ll get to know each other now since we’ll be working together. Welcome to the team.” He tries to soften his expression but there is still a severity to it that doesn’t ease the knot in your stomach. 

“It’s really my fault, sir. I shouldn’t have expected you to remember me. It was a long time ago and you’re a very busy man. No offense taken. I’m excited to work with you.” Trying to change the subject, you extend your paperwork towards him. “Here’s all of my entry paperwork. It gives me authorization to travel, my medical and professional history is there as well. All I need is your signature and I will be clear to begin working.” Looking through it quickly he nods before signing each of the necessary lines. He hands it back to you and you nod awkwardly before deciding to merely head towards the door. “Thank you sir. I’ll take this to the front desk really quickly and I’ll be good to work this latest case. I’ve already brought a go-bag.” 

“Oh, you won’t be needing a go-bag.” This stops you in your tracks.

“I won’t?” You ask, turning to face him. 

“No, you won’t. You’re not travelling with us for the case.” Every dream you’d had about your first day at the BAU is crumbling around you with every word that comes out of his mouth. 

“Can I ask why, sir?” Leaning down to open a cabinet, he pulls out his own go-bag and unzips it to check its contents. This simple act of dismissal is enough to make you feel an inch tall. 

“It’s only your first day, I don’t hardly know anything about you. I don’t feel comfortable taking an agent into the field that is practically a stranger to me and to the rest of my team. It will only compromise your safety and the safety of others. When I get back, we’ll have a discussion and see where you’re at when the next case rolls around.”

“But sir,” For a second your own words ring in your head. You’re the boss. No explanation necessary. You are not the kind of person that questions authority. You never have been and you thought you never would be but hearing your new boss say this to you makes your blood boil for some reason. It’s like Spencer said. You have as much right to be here as anyone else and you have not gone through seven years of grueling work to be put on the sidelines from day one. “I have studied and trained for a long time. I put in the work, the same as the rest of you and that’s why I’m here. I didn’t just show up on accident, it’s because I’m good at what I do. I have all the paperwork and I am prepared to put in the effort on this case.” His movements have stopped now and his eyes stay locked on yours, unable to look away as you speak. Once you’re finished he breaks away and sighs deeply. 

“I am not disputing any of that but I am responsible for the safety of my team and now that includes you. It would make me feel much better if I could talk with you before sending you to the front lines. I’m on your side here even if it doesn’t seem like it. But at the end of the day I am your boss and I have final say. The answer is no. I want to like you, Y/N. Don’t give me reason to distrust you on your first day.” 

“Yes sir,” Is all you are able to mutter as you feel yourself deflate. “I didn’t mean any disrespect.” The shift in your demeanor must have been palpable because his expression suddenly softens and a hint of a smile ghosts over his lips as he walks over to you. 

“I know you didn’t. I’m sorry to disappoint you but you’ll have your chance soon enough.” With that, he grabs his bag and walks out of the office. In no more than ten minutes all of your big hopes and dreams for your perfect first day at the BAU were crushed. Everything has been happening so fast that it still seems like it might not be real. It’s all you can do to walk back out into the bullpen. Derek is the first one to notice your mood shift. 

“What happened?” With a forced smile you shake your head.

“I’m not going to be joining you guys. The boss doesn’t feel comfortable letting me into the field just yet. I guess it makes sense.” Hearing this, Derek, JJ, and Spencer all three share a confused look.

“It actually doesn’t make that much sense. If you’ve got the paperwork, you are clear to go in the field. Everything should be in order. I’m not sure why he would wanna keep you behind. You’ll learn more in the field than you will sitting here.” Emily and JJ nod in agreement and you shrug off his questioning.

“It is what it is. I’ll just have to make the most out of it.” You quiet down but he can see that there is still something upsetting you.

“Okay, come on. What else happened?” The expression on his face is one of determination as he stares you down, waiting for an answer. 

“It’s nothing really. It’s just that he didn’t remember me and I was a little disappointed. That’s all. It’s not really a big deal.” 

“No, that is definitely a big deal. Hotch is not a forgetful man. Especially when it comes to people. If he worked one on one with you a year ago and he knew you were going to be a future member of his team, he would have paid especially close attention to you. That just definitely doesn’t seem right to me.” As much as you agreed with him you decided now wasn’t the time to push the issue. 

“Well, I’m sure he just had a lot on his mind. It doesn’t matter. Anyway, good luck guys. I’ll see you when you get back.” The look on Derek’s face indicates that he wants to continue the conversation but he doesn’t. The three of them grab their go-bags and head to the door. Following them you smile when Derek gives you a side hug.

“We’ll all go get a drink when we get back. I promise.” You nod. 

“I’ll hold you to that.” Before he can walk out the doors with the others you stop him. “Hey. Thanks. I know we still don’t know each other that well but I appreciate you making me feel welcome.” 

“No problem, kid. You’re one of us now. We have to protect our own.” With one last smile he disappears through the main doors. Stepping out after him you stop when you see Hotch standing right outside the doors. With a small breath you walk over to him. 

“You’ll be working with our technical analyst, Penelope Garcia. Go down to the bottom floor. Her office will be the third door on the right when you get off the elevator. She’ll introduce herself. She’s very friendly. We’ll speak when I get back.” With that, he too disappears. 

In little more than thirty minutes, your perfect day is ruined before it has even really begun. Thoughts spin inside your head faster than you can comprehend. It feels like your fault for letting your expectations get so high. There is no way of erasing it. No matter how many good days you have from here on out, your first day at the BAU will always be a sad memory. It hadn’t been all bad of course. It had been nice to talk with the other team members for the short time that you had. However, that feeling was quickly ruined by your interaction with Hotchner. He was one of the main reasons you were so excited to begin working. You were sure that he would have some inspirational words of advice for you but all he had done was make you feel belittled. There was no way of taking that back. Now you were side lined for your very first case and it was completely out of your control. You really wish you had your good luck charm right about now. Something tells you you’re going to need it now more than ever. The Hotch that exists within that business card is the one you want to linger in your memories. The respectful and professional agent who had made you feel so respected and appreciated. That is the Hotch you need right now but that isn’t the man you’d spoken with today. That is what broke your heart more than anything. With one last longing look at the main doors you gather yourself up and head down to meet Penelope Garcia. 

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