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songsoomin · 4 years ago

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Let Me Down Part 3 (A, F)

Synopsis: CollegeStudent!Mingi x CollegeStudent!FemaleReader, BestFriend!Yunho. You’re still struggling without Mingi but circumstances lead you to get closer to Yunho.

Song inspiration: “From the Heart” Another Level (Not related but I would kill to hear Jongho sing this song)

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: None really, just a suggestive line towards the end.

Word count: 10.5K (I’m so sorry)

Posted: 6th July 2020

Note: I just got this photo off Google but I think it must have been made by someone going by the name ‘Fix On’ because the tag is on there - so just making it clear it is not my photo.

Part 1 Part 2

"Can we have more water for our table, please?"

"Sure, I'll just get that for you." You said politely as you went to get the water for Table 7.

"Y/N, Table 10 are ready for their mains now and Table 5 want their bill." Your supervisor, Max, told you as you headed back with the water.

"Sure thing." You said, wishing your shift was already over but you were only an hour into it. It was lunchtime on a Saturday so the restaurant you worked at part-time was rammed, as usual. You had graduated but still hadn't found a permanent job yet.

"Y/N, you look exhausted - are you ok?" One of your colleagues, Tiffany, asked you as you took a few seconds to breathe at the till station as you printed out Table 5's bill.

"I don't know...I've felt tired for the last couple of weeks now. I'm probably just low on iron, I haven't had much appetite lately." You admitted, "I'll get some supplements after work."

Since you last saw Mingi you hadn't been eating properly again. Impossibly, saying 'goodbye' to him for a second time had caused you much more pain than the first one. You should never have given in to your emotions and slept with him that night. You gave in because you weren't strong enough to say 'no' when he was right there looking at you like he used to - like he still loved you - but you didn't have the courage to take him back and risk being hurt again. Now, it had become clear that your heart also wasn't strong enough to deal with the fall out from that decision. You'd fallen into the same cycle you had the first time; not eating, not sleeping, trying to ignore the aching in your chest but while you were trying your best to carry on with your life without him, you were really just walking around like a zombie. Just existing while all the life had been drained out of you.

"You should look after yourself better." Tiffany said, concerned. She was older than you and married with two children and her natural mothering instincts seemed to come out with everyone. "Especially working on your feet in such a busy place like this."

"I know. My appetite has been almost non-existent since I've been a bit sick and when I get home I'm too exhausted to do anything. It's just a bug but I'll try to eat better - I promise." She looked at you skeptically but let it go.

You carried on with your shift, running here and there after demanding diners but just felt worse as it wore on. You had picked up quite a few shifts lately so it was no surprise you had worn yourself out but you needed the money. You were living on your own now since Suzy had moved in with Lucas after graduation and Jina had moved back home. Your parents owned their own company and had bought you a small one bedroom apartment - nothing fancy, just enough for you - but you still needed to pay the bills.

Coming to the end of your shift you started to feel dizzy and nauseous again but soldiered on, thinking if you could just get through it you could go home and sleep. As you were passing the bill to one of the tables in your section you all of a sudden started to lose all your focus, darkness washing over you and you felt yourself slipping.

"Y/N?" You felt something cold and wet being pressed against your face as you blinked your eyes open to see Tiffany looking down at you. She was seated next to you as you lay on the couch in the staff room. You obviously looked confused at the situation as she gently explained, "You passed out. Max carried you in here and asked me to take care of you."

"I what? I'm so sorry." You apologised trying to sit up but doing it too quickly and feeling dizzy again.

Tiffany passed you a vitamin energy drink and told you to keep still and drink it. While you drank it, you noticed she was eyeing you, as if there was something she wanted to ask but wasn't sure how.

"Is there something wrong? You look a little uncomfortable." You said, smiling a little, trying to ease her discomfort.

"Well...I'm just worried about crossing the line. We're just work colleagues so I don't want to pry into personal matters." This had you confused so you asked her to go on, curious to know what on Earth she was thinking.

"It's ok, you can ask what you want. I can see something is bothering you."

"Ok..." She started slowly, "You said you'd had a bug recently and it had made you sick...."

"Yeah, I have. I'm still feeling it a bit - I was nauseous before I fainted, actually." You recalled the last thing you remembered feeling before you woke up here.

"How long has it been going on for?" Tiffany enquired gently.

"Oh...I'd say about two weeks really. It comes and goes though." You still didn't know where she was heading with this; you imagined she was going to nag you to see a doctor, though.

"Each day but mostly in the morning?"

"Yeah..." You blinked in surprise, "How did you know?"

Tiffany sighed, "Y/N...I think you may be pregnant."

You sat there looking at her like an idiot for a second. There was no way.

"Don't be silly. I just haven't been looking after myself. I'm just run down, that's probably why I feel so bad."

"Y/N...I have two children, I know the signs of early pregnancy. Morning sickness, tiredness, fainting - I'd bet you have tender boobs, as well, right?" That last bit shocked you a little. It was true, you did but you thought that it was just because your period was due. Now you really thought about it, though, you realised it had been a while since you'd had one.

"But...I can't be." You said, still thinking Tiffany was overreacting a little. "I haven't been with anyone since my ex and we always used con-" You stopped short as the realisation hit you. "Oh."

You and Mingi had always used condoms. Except that one night about six weeks ago.

Mingi, I want you inside me.

Baby, I don't have any protection on me. I didn't expect this to happen.

Mingi! I need you. Please fuck me.

You hadn't thought about it the morning after, hungover and too caught up in the pain of letting him go again.

"I think you should go and take a test, Y/N. As soon as you feel up to moving."

You nodded dumbly at Tiffany, desperately hoping she was wrong and that the symptoms were just a coincidence. An hour later, however, you were sitting in your bathroom crying and staring at two little blue lines.

********

It had taken you days to accept the situation you found yourself in and then a few days more before you could face telling your parents about it. They had been really supportive, although, a little disappointed that you were in this situation due to being drunk and stupid. They told you that they would support you in whatever decision you made so you set about trying to decide if you were really ready to be a mother or if it was better to end the pregnancy.

You'd always wanted children and, at one time, you had even imagined having them with Mingi - somewhere in the future - but Mingi wasn't the father you needed for your baby. He was immature and unreliable. Your parents lived quite far away now and were busy running their company. Suzy and Jina had promised their support and offered advice as best they could but Jina also lived some way away and Suzy had her own life and her job to worry about. You knew they would all help as much as they could but you couldn't ask them to neglect their own lives for you. If you were going to do this, it would be alone.

After much soul searching and many sleepless nights, you decided you would keep this baby. You weren't against abortion, per say, but it wasn't for you. Deep down you knew you would never be able to go through with it.

Now you just needed to prepare as best you could and really hope you could do this.

********

You were nearly 3 months gone now; not showing yet but some of the worse symptoms were still there. You were starting to fell a bit more energetic but the morning sickness hadn't gone away yet. You really, really hoped you wouldn't turn out to be one of those unlucky women who had it for the whole 9 months. Today, however, you were still very much feeling it when you ran into Yunho.

"Y/N! Oh my god - I haven't seen you since graduation." Yunho beamed at you, "How have you been?"

"Hi Yunho!" You said, giving your tall, blonde friend a hug. True you hadn't seen him for a while and you had been close until about three months ago but avoiding Mingi meant avoiding all his friends, as well.

"What are you up to? Do you want to grab a coffee?" Yunho asked in his usual warm and friendly manner and you couldn't resist; you weren't good at making new friends so it had been a while since you'd had anyone to chat to like this.

"Sure, I'd love to. “I am quite thirsty after shopping." You said looking for the nearest coffee shop and spying a nice-looking one a couple of shops down. "Is this one ok?"

"Oh, yeah, this one is nice - I've been here a few times." Yunho said as you walked together. As you walked through the door, though, a particularly rough bout of nausea hit you and you darted for the bathroom, dropping your bags on the nearest table and trying to convey an apology to Yunho as you ran.

You must've been in the bathroom for about five minutes being sick and trying to think of something to tell Yunho - after all, he was Mingi's best friend and, whether right or wrong, you were trying to keep this from him. You didn't want him involved. Eventually the sickness passed and you made your way back out to the front of the coffee shop.

You reached the table Yunho was sitting at to find him with a coffee already and, opposite him on the table, a glass of water and a small packet of ginger biscuits.

"I hope you don't mind; I got these for you." He said, smiling. "My cousin had a baby recently and said ginger biscuits really helped ease her morning sickness."

"Yunho...What are you talking about?" You said, trying to sound light, as if he had jumped to the wrong conclusion. In reality, you weren't doing a good job of it, you could hear the hint of anxiety in your own voice.

"These rolled out of your bag when you dropped them on the table." You looked at the small bottle Yunho held in his hand - it was the pregnancy vitamins you had bought earlier. You looked away, not knowing what to say. There was no denying it now.

"So who's the lucky guy?" He said, trying to ease the tension.

"Mingi." It came out as a mumble but he heard it fine given the shocked look on his face.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"It's Mingi's baby." You looked down at your hands, feeling uncomfortable.

"Right. Ok." Yunho looked lost in thought for a moment - probably trying to work out how, given you left Mingi about six months ago but you were clearly in early pregnancy.

"Graduation night." You explained simply.

"Ooohhhh! I remember!" Yunho exclaimed, "He didn't come home that night but the next morning he came back in such a state. He wouldn't tell us what happened, though."

You recounted the details of the evening to Yunho; about the man who tried to assault you, how Mingi saved you from him and that you spent the night together. You didn't go into detail except to admit that you'd both been half-drunk and had failed to use protection.

Yunho nodded in understanding but seemed bothered by something, "I know he's been a mess lately but why didn't he tell me about this? I'm his best friend."

"He doesn't know." You mumbled, looking at your hands again.

"Y/N....don't you think he has a right to know? He's going to be a father." You looked up to find Yunho looking at you but not in a judgemental way - more sympathetic.

"I know and I've struggled with it. I've wanted to tell him but he isn't capable of being the father my baby needs. He can't even look after himself, how would he look after a family? He constantly lied and let me down just so he could have fun - he only ever thought about himself."

"I'm not saying you should take him back but I do think you should tell him. He deserves that much." Yunho replied gently, seeing how upset you were becoming.

"I know it's selfish of me...but I don't know if I could stand him being in my life - seeing him but not being with him. I still love him, Yunho." You spoke earnestly, hoping he could understand. "I'm sure he probably has someone else now and, to be honest, I wouldn't be able to bear seeing him and some other woman playing happy families with my child."

"There's been no one else, Y/N." Yunho admitted, surprising you. "He's been an absolute mess since you left him. He was starting to get it together but after graduation night he fell further. He goes out to work but that's all he'll leave the apartment for. When he gets home he just shuts himself away. Hongjoong and I are really worried about him, he doesn't sleep well and drinks more than is good for him."

As you took in this new information the ache in your chest, that never went away, throbbed. It hurt to hear that Mingi was hurting so badly but it didn't change your decision.

"All the more reason why he can't be my baby's father. Please, Yunho," you almost begged the man sitting opposite you, "...please don't tell him."

Yunho looked uncomfortable and you knew he didn't like to keep something this big from his best friend but he agreed nonetheless, "Ok, I won't tell him but I really want you to rethink doing it yourself."

The atmosphere turned a bit lighter from then on; you fell into a comfortable conversation about work and life in general until you realised it was getting later and you had an appointment to go to.

"I'm sorry to have to go, Yunho but I actually have my first ultrasound scan today." You apologised while gathering your bags.

"You're not going alone are you? You said earlier that you didn't really have anyone close by." You smiled at the look of concern on your friend's face; he'd always been a good listener and cared for others so much.

"I'll be fine, Yunho. You don't need to worry about me."

"Y/N, you can't see your baby's heartbeat for the first time and have no one to be there with you. I won't let you." The look of determination on his face suddenly turned less confident, "I mean, as long as that's ok - I don't want to intrude but you should have someone to share such a special moment with."

You couldn't disagree with him; it would feel a little lonely. If your parents were closer you would have asked your mum to come with you. You also didn't want to ask Suzy to use one of her allotted leave days from work for you. Although you had accepted you'd be doing this pregnancy alone, you had to admit it would be nice to share moments like these with someone - even if it was just a friend.

"Come on then, I'd love to have some company."

Yunho beamed and stood with you to leave, offering one arm for you to hold and the other to carry your shopping as you made your way to the clinic.

You laid on the bed while the sonographer squeezed the gel on to your pelvic area and used the ultrasound probe to spread it around; you were really excited to see your baby for the first time. Yunho sat quietly on a stool next to you looking quite curious himself, having not seen one of these scans before.

The sonographer found your baby and pointed out the head, arms and legs and, most importantly, the heartbeat. You looked at the screen in awe at the tiny fluttering heart and when the sonographer turned the sound of the machine up you could hear the whooshing sound each beat created. You looked back at Yunho with tears in your eyes and he smiled back and took your hand in his large one and gave it a squeeze for emotional support. You were so glad you'd accepted his company; it would have been sad to experience this all alone.

You both sat there watching the screen as the sonographer took the measurements and declared you to be 11 weeks and 5 days pregnant and gave you your due date. Lastly she printed out some pictures of your baby and popped them in a little envelope for you to take home. Once back outside you had to make your first appointment to see the obstetrician for your 16 week check. The receptionist was very friendly and told you all the things you would need to bring along.

"We'll need to know your family medical history, details of any medicines you take...basically the more info you can give the doctor, the better. Oh, and Daddy, we'll need your family's medical history, as well."

"Oh, he's not the -" You tried to correct her but she wasn't listening.

"So, we'll see you in about four weeks." The friendly receptionist finished with a smile.

You figured it didn't matter anyway, you could just let the doctor know at the next appointment that you didn't know the father's family history.

Yunho walked you back to your apartment, chatting with you the whole way.

"Thank you for being there with me today, Yunho. I really appreciated your support."

"Anytime, Y/N." Yunho waited as you found your key and opened your door then popped your bags just inside.

"Listen...I don't want you feeling you have to go through all this completely alone." He began, "I may not be able to do much but I can at least come with you to appointments if your family can't be here and keep you company, if ever you feel lonely here all by yourself."

"Yunho, I really appreciate the offer but I don't want to take up your time." You smiled at Yunho's caring and generous nature but didn't want to be an imposition to him.

"Y/N. Don't be silly. My work place is really flexible and I don't have much on otherwise. Anyway, we've known each other since school, I think you can let me be there for you as a friend."

"Thank you, Yunho, that means a lot."

"Anytime." He rubbed your arm gently and made his way down the hall of your apartment complex.

********

Just over four weeks later you were arriving back at the clinic for your 16 week check with the obstetrician when you heard a familiar voice,

"You didn't call me." You looked around to find Yunho leaning against a lamp post, waiting for you.

"I was going to....but I thought I'd be being a nuisance." You smiled as he walked towards you.

"Why do you think I'm here," he laughed, "I knew you'd think like that. We may never have been super close but I've known you for a long time."

"Fine.” You smiled up at him, “Let's go in then."

The appointment went well, the doctor checked your health and listened to the baby's heartbeat but when it came time to talk about medical history it became a bit awkward.

"I...Well, I'm not with the father so I can't really get his family's medical history."

The doctor looked at Yunho, clearly having thought it was him but he held his hands up and explained, "Aah, it's not me - I'm just a friend here for support."

The doctor nodded in understanding but asked gently, "If you can access it at all, it would be very helpful."

"I'll try." You sighed. You knew it wouldn’t be easy.

You made your next appointments which were the anomally scan at 21 weeks, followed by another check up with the doctor.

"I know when those appointments are so if you don't invite me, I'll just turn up again." Yunho playfully threatened as you left the clinic.

"Yunho?"

"Hmm?"

"How difficult do you think it would be to find out Mingi's family history?"

Yunho stopped and looked at you with furrowed brows. "It's not the kind of thing that comes up in normal conversation. If I start asking him whether his family ever had any birth defects or genetic illnesses, he's going to wonder what the Hell is going on."

"Ok." you sighed, defeated, "Don't worry, I'm sure it'll be fine. I was with him for 5 years and he never mentioned anything like that."

You moved closer to Yunho's side and held on to his arm, "Thank you, though...for being with me again. It felt a lot less lonely with you there."

"My pleasure. Do you want to grab something to eat? It's almost dinner time."

"I am hungry. My appetite has come back since the morning sickness went away."

"Great," he looked at you with that bright, beautiful smile that always made you smile back, "what do you wanna get?"

As the weeks went on you began to spend more and more time with Yunho. He gave you a lot of his time when he wasn't working; you guessed he was free because the other guys' jobs were more 9-5 than his more flexible one. Most of the time he came over to your apartment and you watched a movie or show on Netflix with a bowl of popcorn. You'd become much closer with Yunho, so much so that it was him you always thought of first when you needed someone to talk or just to have fun with. You still saw Suzy often but she was with Lucas so much you ended up feeling like a third wheel and seeing them so happy tended to remind you that you were alone.

Although you tried not to ask about Mingi, Yunho occasionally said things that made you think that he didn't spend a lot of time with his best friend these days. They still lived together but it seemed Mingi was still shutting himself away a lot of the time and drinking a lot. It hurt you to think of him suffering alone and, as much as you tried to stop, you still thought about him a lot. You still cried often, mostly at night when you laid in bed alone and wishing with all your heart that things had turned out differently and he could be here with you, holding you in his strong arms. The aching in your chest that had been with you since you left Mingi still refused to go away, becoming more painful on those night you laid in bed thinking about him.

At least when Yunho was with you it was better, you felt calmer and happier. He had become so important in your life now - your best friend, really - and you didn't know what you'd do without him. Sometimes you'd look up at him as you cuddled against his side on your couch and think that he would make the perfect boyfriend and an amazing father. He was funny, always making you laugh and cheering you up when you were down, and so caring. In fact, it was because he was so caring and loved skinship that it felt comfortable for you guys to cuddle while watching TV and he often grabbed your hand or slung his arm around your shoulders while you were walking together. To top it all off he was amazingly good-looking, especially with those big, warm eyes and the bright smile he always seemed to have but, even when you thought this way, something stopped you from feeling anything more than friendship. As hard as you tried, you didn't seem to be getting over Mingi, at all.

********

You were at 22 weeks now and visibly pregnant with your bump obvious for everyone to see. You'd had your anomally scan and doctor's appointment a week ago and, to your relief, everything looked absolutely fine - you'd even got more detailed scan photos of your growing baby now it was bigger. You were offered the chance to find out the sex of the baby but you'd decided to keep it as a surprise so, as you shopped for baby clothes, you were picking out neutral colours.

You'd only really bought maternity items and a few baby basics until now but as you were over half way you decided it was really time to start picking out more important items. You had spent Saturday with Yunho looking at the big things like prams and cribs but hadn't made any firm choices yet, however, you did have lots of bags full of baby clothes, soft toys, bathing accessories and all the things you were going to need ready for when your 'Little Bun' came. You had asked Yunho along for the company and a second opinion but he was also a really good bag-carrier and absolutely refused to let you carry any bag he deemed too heavy.

It was when you were walking through the park on your way home that you felt a movement. You had felt a kind of fluttering before but not been sure if it was your baby moving or not but this was a very definite kick. You stopped and gasped, your hands on your bump so at first Yunho thought something was wrong and started to worry.

"It's ok, Yunho..." you laughed, "I just felt the baby kick for the first time."

"It's kicking?" He replied, amazed.

"Do you want to feel?"

"Of course I do!" Yunho playfully looked at you like you were an idiot to think otherwise.

"Wow, you're growing so strong, Little Bun." Your now-best friend exclaimed as he felt the tiny kicks.

Yunho looked just as excited as you were, it was a common mistake for anyone seeing you to think that he was the father because, true to his word, he had been with you every step of the way making sure you never felt alone in this. You both knew you were just friends and he'd told you on one of the many deep conversations you had late at night that he wasn't trying to take Mingi's place, he just wanted to be there for you.

However, the way you both stood there as Yunho held his large hand on your growing bump with a look of awe on his face at feeling your baby kicking would make anyone think that you were a young couple about to become parents - and that's exactly how you knew it looked when you turned to see Mingi standing a few feet away from you.

You'd never really considered the possibility of running into Mingi because Yunho had told you how he'd shut himself away in the apartment when not at work but now you saw him standing in the park watching you and Yunho looking for all the world like a couple in love. He was with Hongjoong, Jongho and Yeosang and they all stood there slightly behind him with equally shocked expressions. The look on Mingi's face, however, caused your heart to clench painfully. He stood there, his eyes moving from you, to Yunho, and then to Yunho's hand on your obviously pregnant tummy, with a look of utter betrayal and heartbreak.

"Mingi...." Your voice was small, you didn't know what to say, you couldn't seem to get any other words out.

Mingi looked away from you, like he couldn't bear to look at you, and over to his best friend.

"Mingi...it's not what it looks like." Yunho quickly said, trying to fix the misunderstanding as he could see exactly what Mingi was thinking.

"Oh, really? Because it looks like my best friend has got my ex-girlfriend pregnant." He was angry, Yunho tried to calm the situation, worried Mingi’s temper would get the better of him again.

"It really isn't like that, Mingi." Yunho almost pleaded with him.

Mingi scoffed, not believing a word of it. "You must've swooped right there in after we broke up - or did you even wait that long? Was this all going on before?" Suddenly he turned to look down at you with accusation in his dark eyes, " Is that why you left me?"

"Mingi...no." You wanted to explain but Mingi wasn't hearing it. He gave you both one last pained look and strode right past you.

As the others followed your ex-boyfriend, you felt helpless; Hongjoong gave you both a look of pure disappointment, shaking his head as he went with Jongho looking much the same but adding, "Wouldn't have expected this of you, bro." aimed directly at Yunho. Yeosang passed by last and placing a hand on Yunho's shoulder briefly, he simply said, "You must have some big fucking balls to pull this kind of shit."

You stood there frozen for some minutes, tears just streaming down your face as Yunho hugged you, doing his best to console you.

"It'll be okay, Y/N. I'll talk to him...make him understand."

You hadn't wanted Mingi to know but now he had found out in, perhaps, the most hurtful way he possibly could have. You felt horrible. You were an awful, awful person.

"You're not an awful person, Y/N." Yunho tried to reassure you but the guilt was already making a home inside you. "Let's just get you home and then I can find Mingi and explain all this."

********

Mingi POV

Mingi sat on the couch in the apartment he shared with Hongjoong and Yunho, drink in hand, glaring at the door. He was waiting for his supposed best friend - he knew he'd come home soon and attempt to explain away his betrayal - but Mingi was so angry. As if it wasn't bad enough that he saw you had moved on and were pregnant with someone else's child, it was his own fucking best friend who had got you pregnant!

He didn't even look at Hongjoong, Jongho and Yeosang as they hovered around the apartment; most likely waiting for the inevitable fight Mingi would start. He knew they'd all been worried about his behaviour for some time now but he didn't care, he was in too much pain himself to care about how anyone else felt.

Mingi was pulled from those thoughts as he heard Yunho's key in the door, signalling his arrival and as he walked through the door, it was all Mingi could do to not leap up and punch him in the face.

"Mingi, please listen, it's not -" Yunho started but was quickly cut off.

"I can't believe you could do this to me!" Mingi shouted, "You more than anyone else. We've known each other since we were five and you do this to me?" Mingi stood and took a few steps towards Yunho who was holding his hands up and looking somewhat nervous. They had the same height and build but Mingi had a temper and Yunho didn't want to fight him.

"I didn't do -"

"Stop lying to me!" Mingi shouted and Jongho subtly moved closer ready to hold Mingi back if he made a move towards his best friend.

"You know better than anyone how much it killed me when Y/N left me....how hard it is for me to get over this." Tears were starting to fall from Mingi's eyes as he was trying to let out all the hurt and frustration he had felt since you left him, "Did you think what it would do to me to see you with her - and to see her carrying your fucking baby, as well?!"

"It's your baby, Mingi!"

Yunho had to shout to stop the angry tirade and it worked, silence filled the room as Mingi just stared at Yunho and the other three men stared between the two of them.

"It's mine?" Mingi asked in a small, uncertain voice.

"Yes. It's yours. Do you not remember the night after graduation? You took her home and fucked her without using protection."

"Jesus Christ, you fucking idiot, Mingi." Hongjoong sighed out loud.

Completely stunned, Mingi sat down on the couch again; he remembered it but it had never occured to him that this would happen.

"Why didn't she tell me?" Mingi asked, "And why didn't you?" He threw at Yunho accusingly.

"She didn't want you involved and it wasn't my place to tell you. She begged me not to."

Yunho came closer to his best friend now he was calmer and handed him a small envelope, "Y/N asked me to give you this."

Mingi opened the envelope and took out the photo from your last scan, he stared at the image of the baby, touching the paper where he could see its tiny hand.

"This is my baby?" He asked again, trying to process this sudden shift in his life.

"Yes. It's your baby, you idiot." Yunho rolled his eyes, happy that the tension in the room was easing.

Mingi picked up his drink and took a swig, suddenly remembering something.

"Is this what you've been doing during all that time you spend out of the apartment. Seeing Y/N? Are you together? It might be my baby but that doesn't mean you haven't still stolen my girlfriend."

"For fuck's sake, Mingi!" Yunho shouted, exasperated. "No...you know what, I do like her. She is amazing. While you've been here drinking and shutting yourself away from everyone, she's been trying to do all this alone with no family and hardly any friends here with her. Do you even know how strong she is? Or how hard this whole situation is on her? Of course not because all you think about is yourself! I have just been being a friend to her; trying to support her through this so she's not alone. And I would have made a move except for one problem.... she's still in love with you. So stop fucking drinking and get your shit together because in 3 months you're going to be a father and right now you're nowhere near good enough for Y/N or your baby!"

Shock crossed Mingi's face as Yunho slapped the drink out of his hand. He couldn't take all this in. You still loved him? He had thought he had seen it in your eyes that last night you slept together but in the morning you told him to go so he had assumed you'd only been with him that night because you'd felt vulnerable and needed someone.

Yunho knew he'd been harsh but he needed to be. Mingi needed to grow up if he was going to be there for you and the baby. "Look, I know quite a lot about this pregnancy stuff now and I know what Y/N needs from you. If you want, I’ll help you get back on track. I want her to be happy and I don't think she ever will be without you. And even though you've been a complete dick, I want you to be happy, as well."

"Thank you." Mingi quietly said, feeling he didn't deserve a friend like Yunho. He'd been so awful to everyone over these last months and they'd only been trying to help him. And if he was ever going to deserve you again, he knew he'd have to get his act together quickly.

********

Can we meet? Please.

You'd been staring at the text message from Mingi for about an hour now. You hadn't heard anything from him for about a week after he saw you and Yunho on the street and you could imagine the hurt that must've caused him but Yunho said he'd explained everything and he'd calmed down. He was still a mess but to just give him a little time to get his head around it. It was fair enough, after all, you'd had months already to process the fact that you were going to be a mother three months from now but Mingi had only just found out he was about to become a father. As you thought about it, you felt guilt spreading through you. Was it the right thing to have kept it from him just because he hurt you? He was always bound to find out one day but how much of his child's life would he have already missed by that point.

Meet me at the coffee shop we used to go to. 2pm

You replied, feeling anxious; now he knew there was no point trying to keep him away but you'd have to deal with seeing him on a regular basis whilst knowing you still weren't over him.

At 2pm you sat in the coffee shop; you and Mingi used to come here all the time back in college, when you were still together. You'd been waiting nervously, playing with your fingers and looking up every time the little bell signalled the door had opened.

Mingi walked in and scanned the room for you then made his way to your table. You looked at each other for a moment before either of you spoke.

"Would you like anything?" He asked a little awkwardly.

"Just an orange juice, please. I can't have too much caffeine."

"Oh, yeah...I guess not." At your reply he looked down at what he could see of your bump behind the table and away again quickly. He went up to the counter to order the drinks, returning shortly after with your orange juice and an iced Americano for himself.

You looked at each other for a minute or so, without saying anything. Last time you'd seen him he looked a mess - thin with dark circles under his eyes and longish, messy hair where he'd not bothered to cut it. Generally like he wasn't looking after himself. Now he looked almost well; still tired and somewhat thin but much better than before.

"You look better than when I saw you." You ventured carefully, not wanting to remind him of that day too much.

"Yunho's been helping me get myself together." His deep voice was quieter than usual as he ran his hand through his freshly cut black hair.

You were both feeling awkward seeing each other after the last time but one of you was going to have to acknowledge the elephant in the room.

"I'm sorry I kept this from you. I was so hurt that I didn't want you involved so I wouldn't have to see you but it was selfish of me. I should have told you."

Mingi looked at you, surprise on his face, as if he hadn't expected you to say this. Maybe he thought you'd still be too angry at him, after all, he'd been surprised you agreed to meet so quickly.

"I understand why you didn't. I realise now that you leaving me was my own fault. I neglected you when we were together and put myself and my friends first. I know I let you down and hurt you a lot." Mingi didn't look directly into your eyes as he said this, feelings of guilt present within him. You sat and listened quietly as he continued on. You were surprised at seeing a level of maturity he'd never shown before.

"I'm not going to ask you to come back to me - I know I don't deserve that - but please...let me be a part of our baby's life. I want to show you I can be there for you both, for whatever you need."

"Mingi, I'm not going to keep you out of our baby's life. I realised by not telling you it wouldn't only be you missing out; I'd be robbing the baby of knowing it's father...and it's grandparents, too."

Mingi's eyes widened like he'd suddenly thought of something bad. "What's wrong?" You asked a little worried.

"I hadn't even thought about that." He said groaning.

"What?"

"How the fuck am I going to tell my parents that I'm going to be a father in three months? They're gonna kill me for being so stupid and not using a condom."

You giggled quietly at this man who was about to become a father but was still worried about his parents scolding him.

He looked at you apologetically, "I'm sorry about that, by the way. I should've been more careful but I missed you so much - I wanted you so badly, I didn't think about what could happen."

"Hey," You replied gently, "It was both our faults. We were both stupid and I seem to remember me being the one begging you to do it."

"How did your parents take it?"

"They're supporting me but, of course, I got the lecture about how stupid I was to not use contraception." You admitted laughing.

"I'm glad they're ok with it. Let's just hope my parents are ok, too." He still looked worried but a little more relaxed now.

"Mingi," you started, turning more serious, "As I said, I won't keep you out of your baby's life but if you let Little Bun down like you did to me, there won't be any more chances after that."

Mingi looked at you earnestly as he replied, "I won't be letting either of you down. I promise you."

"Little Bun?" He enquired, cocking his head to the side.

"Oh...yeah, I decided not to find out the sex of the baby so he or she is 'Little Bun' for now."

Mingi smiled finally - you'd missed his smile so much but it still hurt to see him so for now you decided to cut short your meeting.

"Do you want me to walk you home?" Mingi asked, still polite and a little awkward.

"I'll be fine but thank you."

You walked home feeling a little lighter now that you weren't keeping it a secret anymore but still apprehensive as to how you were going to manage to see Mingi so much. You realised upon seeing him that you were no longer angry at him for how he treated you but still you couldn't trust him enough to take him back. You knew you still loved him and it was going to be hard to see him so often and not be able to be with him.

********

You were sitting with Yunho on your couch in your apartment, watching Netflix, as usual, and talking about things in general so it was inevitable that Mingi was going to be mentioned sooner or later.

"How is everything going?" Yunho asked carefully, knowing it was still a delicate subject.

You sighed, looking down at your hands - a habit you had when talking about or doing something uncomfortable. "I guess it's ok. It's still difficult seeing him but he seems like a different person somehow."

"How so?"

"Well...he seems a little more mature, I suppose."

"Probably the consequence of finding out he's going to be a father in a few months." Yunho snorted.

"It's more than that, though." You paused, thinking; you weren't quite sure how to convey it in words. "I can see he's still hurting and that he's still a bit of a mess inside but it's...it's like there's something missing from him."

"There is." Yunho replied, seriously now, "You're missing."

You cocked your head, looking at your best friend questioningly.

"Mingi isn't Mingi without you. He took it for granted that you'd always be there and so he didn't treat you right but when you left him, it was like a part of him left, as well. I've been friends with him since we were five years old and I've seen him go through some hard times but I've never seen him like this. Being without you broke him."

A stray tear rolled down your cheek as you listened; you'd thought from how Mingi had treated you that he didn't love you anymore.

"If only he'd shown me that he still cared when we were together, it wouldn't have had to end with us both getting hurt."

Yunho hummed in agreement as he wrapped his strong arms around you for comfort, "Believe me, I don't think he'd make that mistake again."

"I just don't know whether to trust him, Yunho."

"He's trying really hard, Y/N. He's quit drinking, he's looking after himself better and not shutting himself away." Suddenly Yunho laughed, remembering something, "I probably shouldn't laugh at this because he really is trying so hard...but the other day I walked past his room and saw him trying to put a nappy on the teddy bear he's had since he was a baby."

Your eyes widened in astonishment, "On Ted?" You remembered the slightly tatty old teddy Mingi always kept on his shelf in his room but couldn't imagine the picture Yunho was painting.

"Yeah..." the tall blonde continued laughing, "...looked like he was trying to follow a YouTube video on baby care."

"Wow. I can't believe he's really taking this seriously." You thought for a few moments before continuing, "Yunho, I think I should start taking Mingi to my appointments now." You watched carefully for signs Yunho might be hurt by this. He had been such a huge support to you, you were worried he might feel like you were casting him aside.

"You don't know how much you mean to me, Yunho, you've been such a huge support to me and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it but if Mingi is going to be in Little Bun's life, I need to make him feel a part of it already. Also," you continued smiling, "it's probably best if I take him to my ante-natal classes where he can learn about baby care without trying to do it in secret."

Yunho looked at you, smiling back, "It's the way it should be," he shrugged, "I was just filling in for him but he should be the one taking care of you and Bun."

"Thank you." You whispered, cuddling into your best friend's side as he gently kissed the top of your head before hugging you closer to him.

********

Over the following weeks you thought about Mingi a lot - it wasn't hard to do because he'd been texting you everyday to see how you and the baby were doing. You were thankful it was mostly texting because it gave you time to get used to having him back in your life without seeing him too much yet. Maybe he knew you needed time and that's why he didn't ask to see you too much. You'd only seen him once or twice for ante-natal appointments; the first was just a standard check up with the midwife but you asked Mingi along to make him feel more involved. You were glad you did when the midwife used her portable monitor to check the baby's heartbeat because the look on Mingi's face was one you think you'll never forget. As the whooshing sound of the tiny heartbeats came out from the monitor's speaker, a look of pure wonder came over Mingi,

"That's our baby's heartbeat?"

He looked at you wide-eyed and you nodded, smiling, not able to help the warmth that spread through you as he then looked down at your bump in awe. It was quickly replaced by guilt, though; Mingi looked so happy that you felt awful for having kept this from him and not letting him share in it with you. In reality you knew you wouldn't have been strong enough back then to see him but, still, you felt guilty.

The second appointment was for a growth scan; the midwife had been a tiny bit worried about the baby's rate of growth so she sent you for another scan. Luckily, nothing was wrong and it was nice that Mingi was able to see the baby on the screen as he hadn't been there for the other two. When the sonographer pointed out all the features to Mingi he looked absolutely enthralled; you knew this because, as well as looking at your baby on the screen, you had been watching Mingi closely. In your uncertainty about whether you could really trust Mingi to be there for you wanted to see his reactions and, although you weren't convinced yet, you were happy that he seemed to be taking this seriously. To be honest, you think that was the moment it really hit him that he was going to be a father and you understood completely as it was at your first scan that it all became more real for you.

"So...I told my parents about Little Bun." Mingi said as he walked you home after the scan.

"Really? How did they take it?" Mingi's parents were a little more strict than yours so you didn't imagine it went down too well.

"About as well as you think they would." He said grimacing at the memory.

"Was it really bad?"

"I got a very long talking to about how stupid I was and how could I have been so reckless? At least by the end of the call they had calmed down enough to ask if the baby is healthy and if you're doing well so I think they'll be ok. They were just shocked, I guess."

It was only a few days after the scan that you were spending a relaxing Saturday at home alone when you heard a knock at your door and, upon opening it, found Mingi on the other side. He looked a little awkward as he apologised for showing up unannounced but that he had some things for you. Curious, you stepped aside so he could come in but he stepped out of your view and appeared again wheeling a pram into your apartment. You hadn't actually asked him for anything so it came as a real surprise - especially as it was the exact pram you had been admiring when you had gone baby shopping with Yunho. Yunho did say he'd been helping Mingi get himself together so you suspected he'd been giving him advice on what to buy as well as supporting him to get better. Your suspicions only grew as Mingi then went back out into the hallway to retrieve a big box containing the crib that had been your favourite that day, as well.

As you stood there looking a bit stunned, Mingi stood looking a bit sheepish.

"I hope I got the right ones. I wanted to buy you some things but I had no idea what you had already or what style you wanted...so I asked Yunho. He told me which ones you seemed to like the most."

"I love them...thank you."

"Oh!" Mingi suddenly remembered something and pulled a bag from inside the pram, "I got this for Little Bun, as well."

You opened the bag and took out a stuffed toy giraffe. You laughed as you remembered they had always been his favourite animal when you visited the zoo.

"It's perfect."

It got a little awkward then so you offered Mingi a drink and you sat talking about jobs and friends. Mingi caught you up with as much as he knew about his group of friends but he looked a little sad while talking about it.

"To be honest, Y/N, I've been a terrible friend to them. I know Yunho must've told you what a mess I've been... I shut myself away and barely spoke to any of them. I don't really know much about how they've been doing since you last saw them. I was too wrapped up in myself."

"I'm sure they understand." You said quietly.

"I want you to know how much better I am now, though. I've stopped drinking entirely and I feel like Little Bun has given me something to look forward to...to make my life worthwhile."

"Mingi," you replied, trying to make him feel better, "...your life is already worthwhile."

"Not without you." He said, looking down. "When you left me I felt like everything was over. I had never really realised just how much I loved you and how important you were to me. Without you everything else seemed so pointless and miserable. It was like all the colour had been drained from the world."

You could feel tears welling in your eyes, Mingi had told you he loved you when you were together, of course, but towards the end of your relationship it always felt like he was saying it out of habit more than really meaning it. He'd never sounded so sincere as he did now.

"I'm sorry," he apologised quietly, "I'm not trying to make you feel bad; I just wanted you to know how I feel."

You couldn't help it then; you found your hand moving towards Mingi's and resting upon his. You looked up at him, into his beautiful, dark eyes that you had always loved most about him, and they were looking back into yours with such an intensity that you found yourself moving closer. You weren't sure if this was a good idea or if you were setting yourself up to be hurt again but what you did know was that everything Mingi had said he felt without you - the world devoid of colour and joy, and life seeming so pointless - was exactly how you had felt without him.

As you moved closer, Mingi's hand moved up to rest against the side of your neck while his thumb gently stroked your cheek. You closed the distance and felt his soft, plump lips against yours and, despite your worries about him, everything felt so right again.

Pulling away, you looked down and Mingi closed him arms around you, kissing the top of your head lovingly.

"I love you, Y/N. I'm so sorry I never showed you how much. I promise if you give me another chance, I'll never let you forget it. I'll never let you down again."

You took a deep breath, looking up at him you knew you had never stopped loving him, even though you'd tried to move on.

"We can try." You told him. "Let's see where this goes."

Mingi took your face in his hands and kissed you more passionately now; you could feel the joy radiating off him as his lips moved against yours, asking for entry as he gently swiped his tongue across your bottom lip. You stayed this way for a while, kissing and enjoying being able to hold each other once again until a tiny movement made you stop and laugh.

"What?" Mingi asked, wondering if he'd done something weird.

"Nothing," you smiled, "it's just the baby kicking."

Mingi looked at your bump with wonder in his brown eyes, "Can I feel?"

You realised at that moment that up until then Mingi hadn't touched your bump, at all. In fact he hadn't even tried and you wondered if he'd been trying to be considerate of you, not wanting to make you uncomfortable with that level of closeness given that he was your ex. It didn't matter now, though, you wanted him there with you.

"Here...give me your hand." You reached for Mingi's hand and placed it on your bump where Little Bun had been kicking. After a second there were a few more kicks and you couldn't believe the way Mingi's face lit up like he'd just felt the best thing in the whole world.

"My baby." He whispered and you could've sworn his eyes looked a little wetter than usual, "I promise I'll never let you down, Little One."

It was as if he'd suddenly felt a real connection with the life he'd helped create; he spent most of the evening laying with his head on your lap talking to your bump. You felt a happiness you hadn't felt for so long just sitting and listening to Mingi talk to your baby while his large hands caressed your bump.

After some time you felt Mingi pick you up off the couch and carry you into your bedroom; in your sleepy haze you vaguely thought about how strong he was as you were definitely heavier than you used to be now you were more than seven months pregnant. He laid you on your bed and left a gentle kiss on your forehead. As he went to go, you reached out to him,

"Don't go. I don't want to be alone anymore."

Mingi paused, not expecting such a request, "Ok, Baby...let me just lock up and turn the lights off."

After a minute or so Mingi joined you back on the bed, covering the both of you up and holding his arm out for you to cuddle into his side. You went to sleep feeling complete again, the dull ache you could never get rid of, finally gone.

In the morning you woke on your side with Mingi's arm over you and his hand lightly stroking your bump as every now and then you felt a little kick.

You rolled over to face him, closing the distance between you to kiss his lips. Mingi smiled at you when you pulled back,

"Good morning, Baby."

"Hi" You said feeling slightly shy, not used to this yet.

You laid together just looking into each other's eyes until Mingi inevitably broke the romantic atmosphere - like he always used to,

"Is it weird that it kinda turns me on that I got you pregnant?"

You sighed heavily. Who'd have known your boyfriend had a breeding kink?

"Yes. It is." You replied, laughing. Then added, "And inappropriate given that that baby is kicking right now."

You moved his hand from your behind, where it had somehow snuck around to, back to your bump to distract him from such things. You still found him hot as fuck but in your heavily pregnant state, feeling a bit like a beached whale, you did not even want to contemplate anything like that.

It worked because he soon turned more serious again.

"I really thought I'd lost you. I'd always held on to a tiny shred of hope but when I saw you with Yunho, pregnant and looking so happy...I thought you were with him...that I'd lost you forever."

"You never lost me completely." You said, cupping his face with your hand and running your thumb over his soft skin. "And if you can't even lose me to Yunho who is, basically, the perfect man...then you never will."

You laughed as Mingi suddenly let go of you, a huge put on his face at your assessment of his best friend being perfect.

"I love you, you idiot." You said pulling him back to you.

"I love you so much, too. I meant it when I said I'd never let you down again. Either of you."

********

Epilogue

Over the last couple of months of pregnancy you and Mingi got closer than you ever had been before and decided to move in together as neither of you wanted to be without the other. You sold your apartment and bought a bigger one together with Mingi who, despite having been such a mess, actually had a really well paid job.

As your due date approached he barely left your side and when you woke up to feel your waters breaking, he took you to the hospital, despite the look of complete horror that never left his face the whole way there. Once you were at the hospital with trained medical staff he visibly relaxed and helped you all the way through the labour, holding your hand and telling you how well you were doing and how much he loved you. When your daughter was born the look on his face was ecstatic and, as much as he tried to hide it, you know you saw some tears.

Mingi was so excited, calling both sets of grandparents, followed by all his friends to tell them the news. The grandparents came down while you were still in the hospital - and fell in love with her immediately, of course, despite their previous concerns about the situation.

Mingi's friends came round to meet your daughter once you'd got settled back at home and he was so proud to show her off.

"Guys, this is Soo Min" he said beaming,

Of course Yunho rushed in for the first hug.

"Hey, Little Bun...do you remember my voice? I looked after you and Mummy for a bit so I'd better be your favourite uncle as you grow up."

"Hey!" The other guys all chorused.

Everyone wanted to take their turn holding her but she was a bit fussy from being passed around. In fact, out of all Mingi's friends, the one she was obviously most comfortable with was Yunho - now a best friend to both of you. As Soo Min settled down and fell asleep in Yunho's arms you couldn't help teasing Mingi by whispering,

"See? I told you he's the perfect man."

Mingi looked affronted and smacked your behind, whispering back,

"Do I still have competition? Once you're feeling better I'm gonna remind you who you belong to." winking cheekily after the last statement. At any other time that would’ve send a thrill straight to your core but you were still really sore down there.

As time passed your favourite sight to see was your daughter sleeping on Mingi's chest. You'd feed her and then pass her to Mingi to be burped and she'd always fall asleep on his broad chest, looking so tiny laying on him.

He was keeping to his promise of never letting you down so well that after a few months you had to force him out with his friends for an evening because they kept asking him out as one of their birthdays approached.

"Mingi," you said, worried he was telling them 'no' because of you, "I'm not going to think you're neglecting me if you go out for one evening. Just go and have fun."

"But I don't want to leave my precious girls." He said whining.

You leaned up to cup his face in your hands and kiss him softly on the lips,

"I love you and I know how much you love me and Soo Min but, really, go and have fun - the guys will be sad otherwise."

"Ok," he pouted, "...but just a few hours. I don't think I can be away from you two for much longer."

"Jeez, Mingi...you spend longer than that away from us when you're at work!"

"And it's Hell for me." He whined over dramatically while you could only laugh.

At least you never had to question if he loved you anymore.

#song mingi #mingi #mingi angst #song mingi ateez #song mingi angst #ateez x female reader #ateez mingi #ateez song mingi #ateez angst #mingi x female reader #song mingi x female reader

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years ago

Text

What would you tell to your eighth grade self? Keep the friends you have. Also, stop hair spraying your bangs and making them stiff--it’s not cute.

What did your last text message read? “Thnx, and yes I got his text.” --My Nana.

Something you really want right now? Coffee and food.

Will you regret your next kiss? Uh, I hope not? Who knows when that will even be, though.

Do you like how things are going? No.

Are you a cuddler? Not really to be honest.

What are you doing tonight? Same stuff as always. My aunt ended up staying another night, but I think she’s going home tonight.

Three months ago, can you remember who you liked? I wasn’t interested in anyone 3 months ago. It’s been a few years, actually.

Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? No. We never were.

Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? I mean, I certainly didn’t envision wasting away after graduating college almost 6 years ago now.

Is a best friend pissing you off right now? No.

What color was the last pill you took? White.

Do you believe “drunken words are sober thoughts”? Sometimes. Sometimes it’s just nonsense.

Who was the last person you had a serious conversation with? My aunt. We’ve had a lot of deep conversations these past few days that she’s been staying with us. She and I are very close and she’s someone who easily opens up and shares a lot. I’m definitely more of the listener, but still.

Have you hung out with any guys recently? My brother.

How tall are you? About 5′4.

Who will you be with this Friday? Today is Friday and I’ll be with my family. As of now, my aunt is here as well but I think she’s going home tonight.

Last time you laughed really hard? I’ve laughed a lot these past few days with my aunt. More so than I have in awhile.

What are you currently listening to? Myself typing and my TV.

Who was the last person you had a face to face conversation with, apart from family? My doctor.

Have you ever wasted too much time on a guy/girl? I don’t consider it time wasted despite things not working out. What are you looking forward to? Right now, I’m thinking about eating lol.

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Nope.

A lyric from the song you’re listening to? I’m not listening to music.

What was the last thing you and your parents argued about? We last bickered a bit about some stuff I was being stubborn about and should have been doing regarding health related things but I wasn’t.

Would you tattoo someone’s name on your body? No.

Have you ever let someone be your everything? Yes.

Do you bite your nails? I don’t bite them, but I pick them and use nail clippers constantly.

Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in their arms? Zero.

Do you hate the last person you kissed? No, not at all.

How do you feel about your hair right now? Ugh. It’s a mess and in serious need of a dye job.

Whose hoodie did you wear last? My own.

Have you ever listened to music you hated just to fit in? Nah.

Whose birthday is coming up? My brother’s was yesterday. Next up is my dad’s next month.

Could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart? I tried to be, but I couldn’t.

The doctors just told you that you are pregnant - what’s your first thought? They clearly mixed me up with someone else cause that’s impossible. There’s zero chance.

Who was the last person you hugged? My aunt.

Do you have any saved texts? all of my texts save unless i delete them. <<< Yeah, the phone just keeps them. I’ve never deleted any.

Anything you want to tell someone but can’t? Meh.

What’s the last thing you drank? Water.

Are most of the friends in your life new or old? I don’t have friends.

Do you like pulp orange juice? I don’t like orange juice at all. Or any juice.

Do you prefer the tanning bed or sun? I don’t go tanning, but I’d just try to get one from the sun if I wanted to. I do get a tan whenever I go to the beach since I actually spend a significant amount of time outside when I go. That’s the only time.

Who was the last person you talked to last night? My aunt.

When was the last time you cried? About a week ago.

Where are your siblings? My younger brother is at work and I’m assuming my older brother is at home.

What about your mom and dad? My mom is here at home and my dad is at work.

Can you go in public looking like you do? Ew, no.

Would your parents care if you came home at 4am? No; I’m 31 years old. They’d be concerned, though. Especially since I never go anywhere or hang out with anyone anymore. If I was out that late it would definitely be unusual. However, I would have checked in to let let them know cause that’s how we are in my family.

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? No.

What will you be doing tomorrow? Same stuff, different day.

What’d you have for dinner last night? I had Wingstop.

Did you eat all of it? No, but a lot of it.

What temperature is it outside right now? 48F.

What color’s your hair? It’s dark brown naturally, but I’ve been dyeing it red. However, I’m a year overdo so my roots are quite overgrown and it’s like half and half now. :X

Do you like flowers? Sure.

What was the first thing you did when you woke up? Checked the time.

What kind of booze did you last take shots of? It was likely tequila. I haven’t drank in 8 years, so I don’t really remember.

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Yes.

If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? I’m sad I didn’t get to see Linkin Park with Chester. :(

When did you last consume something that had peanut butter? Hmm. It’s been awhile, actually.

What color were the last pair of headphones/earphones you bought? I didn’t buy them, they were a gift, but they’re black.

How many people do you live with? Are these people related to you? 3 and yes, they’re my parents and brother.

Are you a confident person, or do you keep to yourself usually? I’m not confident at all.

Do you wash your own clothes? No, I need help with that so my mom does it.

Are you afraid of thunderstorms? No, I like them.

What type of soups do you like? I’m a ramen gal, but broccoli and cheddar soup is pretty good.

Would you go 2 days without eating for $200? I’ve gone a day without eating and a couple or so days with very little food because I was sick or having appetite issues, which I have a lot. If I was feeling like that I could do it. But there’s times my body feels like it’s starving and acts all dramatic even if it hasn’t been long since I last ate, so in that case it would be really hard to do.

Do you know anyone who is pregnant? Not that I know of.

Can you cook? I can make a good bowl of ramen, ha.

Have you dated the person you texted last? Uh, no. That’s my Nana...

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking weed? I’ve gone almost 10 years since the last time and when I did do it it wasn’t a regular thing, so yeah I think I could. I haven’t had any desire to do it.

When’s the last time someone made you feel like you mattered? My family does that.

Do graveyards thrill or terrify you? Neither.

What’s the next thing you have to do that you’re dreading? My next doctor appointment.

Do you ever wear polos? No.

Do you look pretty today? No. Not today or any day.

Are you going out of town soon? No.

Who was the last person to make you mad? My doctor.

Do you have nightmares often? No, thankfully.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Nope.

Will you be in a relationship in 50 days? No.

What happened last time you got drunk? I got really drunk and then threw up on myself in front of my friends and it was super embarrassing. My best friend at the time thankfully helped me clean up, but still. Ugh, it was awful. I was so sick that whole night and felt like shit the next day. I don’t know what happened that night because I honestly don’t remember drinking that much. I don’t know if I had a bad interaction with my medicine or what I did drink was really strong. I was completely turned off to alcohol after that, though, and haven’t drank since.

Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? Yeah, I don’t share drinks or food. Like, I’ll break off/cut/pour out what I’m eating and share that way, but I don’t let people bite off my food or use my utensil and vice versa.

Do you want to know the date of your death? Absolutely not.

Do you miss the way things used to be? I miss the way a lot of things used to be.

Have you ever had a panic attack? Many times.

Do you like being called babe? Not really.

Is the last person you kissed more than 2 years older than you? No, he’s a year younger than me.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Not romantic feelings, no.

Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person that kissed you? No.

Honestly if you could go back 9 months and change something, would you? Yes.

When is the next time you will kiss someone? I have no idea. I don’t see that happening anytime soon at all.

Were you happier 7 months ago or now? Neither then or now.

Have you ever just felt like you could cry an ocean? Yeppp.

Would you live with someone without marrying them? Yes. I don’t plan on getting married, but even IF I did I would still want to see how things go living together first.

Are you friends with your best friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend? My best friend is my mom, who is with my dad.

Who do you have texts from in your inbox? Mostly from my parents, especially my mom, but some from my brother, some from my Nana, some from my aunt, and some old ones from one of my cousins.

What time did you wake up today? I first fell asleep around 3AM, woke up at 530AM for a bit, fell asleep until like 730ish, and then fell asleep again until like 9 and I’ve been up ever since (it’s 10:27AM now). Sighhhh. I hate when I get up off and on like every hour or so like that and hardly get any sleep at all. I’m so tired, but I can’t sleep. :(

Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago? Most definitely. I’ve changed a lot and not in a good way.

What were you doing at 4 am? Sleeping.

Do you reply to all of your texts? No, not all. It depends on the text. Not all need a reply or I just didn’t for whatever reason.

Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? Bananas or chocolate.

What were you doing before you got on the computer? Sleeping.

What is the last thing you said out loud? Something to my aunt last night.

Today, would you rather go forward a week or back? Forward.

Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car? Hand over the cash, please!

How bad are your hangovers? I had a few bad ones. The worst was definitely after the time I talked about earlier.

Do you like being home alone or does it freak you out? I’m fine with it during the day, but I wouldn’t be at night.

Do you have any bruises on you? I don’t think so.

Is your last ex currently in a relationship? I don’t know.

Is there anything in your room that reminds you of the past memories? Uh, yeah. Like everything.

How do you respond to being nervous? I get very fidgety and squirmy and anxious. I mess with my nails, I bite my lips, I play with my hair, twiddle my thumbs. My heart rate goes up. I have a hard time breathing. My stomach feels like its in knots. I sweat. ...not a fun time.

Who is the most recent addition to your contacts? I don’t even recall the last time I added a new contact.

Who in your phone has a heart after their name? My mom has a purple heart.

Where was the last place you went besides your house? The doctor.

Have you ever thrown a cell phone in anger? No.

Are you wearing a necklace, who got it for you? I’m not wearing one.

Has anyone ever called you perfect before? Haaaa, no.

Have you kissed anyone whose name starts with an A? Nope.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone & what did you talk about? My mom when she called the other day to see if I wanted her to stop by somewhere on her way home to get me something to eat.

Do you have tan lines? No.

How are you feeling? Right now I’m tired and hungry. I also feel kind of sick cause I took my medicine on an empty stomach, which bothers me more sometimes than others. Today seems to be one of those times. :/

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? Listened to ASMR and scrolled through Tumblr.

Ever feel like you’re not good enough? Many times. It’s been a constant feeling these past few years.

Were you smiling in the last picture taken of you? Yeah.

How many funerals have you been to? Three.

Movies or bowling? Movies.

At the beginning of September who were you "with"? I was single.

Is there a girl you can tell anything to? I could, yes.

What do the majority of people in your life call you? Steph.

Do you dye your hair? I get it done at the salon.

If you won a lot of money on the lottery, what would you buy first? I’d have to pay off my debt first and foremost.

Something you really want right now? I should drag myself outta bed and try to eat something.

Would you prefer being locked in a room with the person you like or best friend? My best friend, which is my mom.

What color shirt are you wearing? I’m wearing a black sweatshirt.

Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip piercing? No.

Has anyone told you they were in love with you? My first boyfriend (and technically only).

Have you ever cleaned up someone else's vomit? Noooo. I have a hard time with even my own.

Name a time you thought you were going to die? During my last surgery my blood pressure dropped dangerously low and the doctors freaked out.

Do you check your texts right away when you receive them? No, not always.

Have you ever kissed a blue-eyed person? Yes.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #long survey

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brokenbowen-a · 5 years ago

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@solarecour asked: 1-50-

( quarantine ask game )

i’m putting these under the cut because... it’s a lot. but, thank you riles.

What’s your go to snack?

as of lately it’s been m&ms but it’s usually any kind of chips. i dunno, i’m pretty basic.

What’s a movie you could watch over and over?

honestly there’s lots of movies i could say because i love movies and have many favorites that i have indeed watched over and over again, but the main one would have to be now you see me. the first one or the second one, to be honest. if you know me, you know how much i love those movies. they’re my favorite of all time. and huge comfort movies for me.

Favorite show to binge?

hm, i don’t binge watch shows a whole ton. i think i’d have to say one day at a time. back when it was on netflix, i binged each new season so easily and quickly and rewatch binged a few times. like it’s one of my favorite shows ever and it’s just very binge-able and yeah.

5 songs that make you want to dance?

ex wives or don’t lose ur head from six. cruisin for a bruisin from teen beach movie. work this out from high school musical 2. hoedown throwdown from hannah montana. pretty much anything from mamma mia 1 or 2.

5 songs that make you feel less lonely?

i don’t know ... how to answer this, so i’m just putting five songs i really love. just for a moment from hsmtmts. lover by taylor swift. i’m still standing by elton john. all you wanna do from six (even if it hurts). every single song from the wicked soundtrack. plus. like, sooo many other songs. i love music. a lot.

Favorite meal to cook yourself?

i... don’t cook. so... ramen noodles lmao.

How do you “treat yourself”?

i buy myself food lmao.

Favorite thing to do when doing self care?

i... don’t know? what does self care mean, like, exactly? because if it’s just... taking care of yourself, then that’s what i do everyday? i don’t exactly go out and like take myself to the spa or something? i don’t know, do baths count? if so, then, baths.

Who have you been talking to the most?

the crow fam, you know who you are.

One thing you really miss right now?

assuming this means because of quarantine, then, going to the movies with my mom. or just, out with her in general. i also really miss my grandparents, which isn’t really because of quarantine, but like, i can’t call them up and see if i can come over because of quarantine so... i guess it technically is?

If you could be self isolated with anyone who would it be?

the crow fam, again. without a doubt.

Do you have any pets?

yes, a calico cat named ruta ann and a goldfish named fred

Favorite videgames?

i really only know nintendo when it comes to video games, but super mario galaxy 2 is like my favorite video game ever. but like any mario game in general, honestly. also pokemon, nintendogs, and of course, animal crossing. also in non-nintendo, if sims counts, then sims. even if i don’t have it installed on my current laptop. and also, i haven’t played it ages and this may shock some people, but i actually like call of duty.

Favorite podcasts?

i do not listen to podcasts, sorry.

Favorite YouTubers?

shane dawson (if you know me, you know this, he’s not only my favorite youtuber but one of my fave celebrities ever and someone who means a lot to me) + all his people (ryland, morgan, garrett, drew). and then also i love drew gooden, danny gonzalez and kurtis conner a lot. and i don’t think anyone even knows who this is but i love deargreyson aka alex cloutier. and also carissa nunez.

Wake up time?

um... that’s a good question. it... changes a lot. lately, it’s been anywhere from noon to like two pm. and honestly it can change at any given moment.

Sleep time?

similarly to the wake up time, it changes a lot and can change at any given moment. lately it’s been like... 2 or 3 am.

If you could go anywhere right now where would it be?

hm. i dunno. maybe to meet my best friend @luthcrandsupcr because i was just thinking about that a little bit ago.

What’s a change you want to keep when self isolation is over?

well, i haven’t really had any changes so... there isn’t really anything to say here.

Have you learned something?

i... don’t know. probably, but i can’t think of anything to say...

Any new skills?

no, not really, i don’t think...

What’s a hobby you’d like to start learning?

lowkey, drawing. even though i don’t think i’d been good at it because i can’t draw but honestly i kind of want to try to learn. also dancing, even though the same thing applies.

What’s something you’d like to get better at?

does... being active count? like, i mean, as in, on here, writing. not like... athletic wise. lmao. if so, then, that. i mean, to be fair, i mostly have not been active because of everything going on with the world, so i feel like this can count...

What food do you wish you had right now?

cheese wontons. i had some the other day because we had chinese and now... i just really want some more.

Your go to quarantine outfit?

i ... have not changed my style or anything at all. so, my go to, every day outfit, is a t-shirt, sweatpants and usually a hoodie.

What have you done today?

i woke up, went to the store to buy something for mine and my sister’s friend. then went out with my dad and my sister to get dinner. came home, ate, got a bath, and now here i am.

Any plans for tomorrow?

i don’t think so? besides preparing for easter, i think we may be dyeing eggs? i dunno.

What’s on your “to watch” list?

right now, locke and key. my brother just finished it and he and my sister were telling me about it last night and i became intrigued. also, the second to all the boys because i still have not seen that. and i know it’s literally been months but also let it snow because i was reminded last night i still need to watch that.

Any musicians/bands you’ve discovered?

no, not really. i’ve discovered some new songs because of tik tok or video edits on instagram but like, not really any that i’ve checked out the singer’s other music or anything.

Post a selfie right now!!

i would prefer not to, to be honest.

Post pictures of your pets!

i don’t have any pics of them on my laptop :/

When was the last time you drank water?

i don’t know. i ... don’t drink water a lot. rip :/

When was the last time you ate?

like, a couple hours ago?

When was the last time you got up and stretched?

um, not too long ago because i got a bath. i dunno, maybe like an hour ago?

Favorite song right now?

hmm, i’ve been listening to a lot of throwback lately. honestly, anything from avril lavigne. but also because i am still highkey obsessed, anything from six. and also, obviously, hsmtmts.

Favorite social media to scroll through?

does tik tok count? if so, then tik tok, hands down. but also, twitter and instagram. and of course, tumblr.

What’s the last thing you ate?

a burger and tater tots.

What’s the weather like where you are?

it’s been rainy and cold, mostly.

Have you been playing animal crossing?

yes, but not new horizeons because i am very small and i have no money. but i HAVE been playing new leaf.

How are you feeling?

eh, okay, i guess.

Who’s the last person you texted?

my sister

What does your last text message say with no context?

right lmao, fucking sammy

Post a meme that made you laugh recently!

i hope this counts

Outdoor activity you’d like to do right now?

i... don’t do outdoor activities.

Something you’re looking forward to when quarantine is over?

going to the movies with my mom

Someone you’d like to see when quarantine is over?

my mom, lmao

Any new games coming out you want to play?

not really? i don’t think so...

New shows you’ve discovered?

i mean it was like a month ago, but i am not okay with this. if that counts? and also, if i can count locke and key even though i haven’t watched it yet?

Most comfortable piece of clothing you have?

probably my shane dawson hoodie

#( let’s talk about ricky bowen // mun answers )#( number one ricky bowen stan // about mun )#(so many of these were really lame answers lmao)#(but also i didn't do number 50 because it said ask me anything and... i didn't know how to work with that)#(BUT THANK YOU RILES)#solarecour

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hauntedyouthus · 5 years ago

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COVID19

So, it happened. I didn’t think that it would happen to me but it did. I was tested for COVID19 and it came back positive. I had a mild case of it but even the mild case was scary. This is a wakeup call people… it’s not the flu. Not even close. Let’s start at the beginning… to when I was exposed…

Saturday – I was working at a restaurant/bar where I work one or two nights a week for extra cash. It was Saturday night – a normally busy night that had thankfully been slow this particular day. I had a customer who was joking saying that they had left Philly because Philly had shut down all non-essential businesses (including restaurants and bars) due to an outbreak of coronavirus and they just wanted to party. They coughed a bit, but I attributed it to the fact that they were smoking. There was a live band that night and I had to get close to them to hear their order – not a good practice of social distancing. I made sure to wash my hands frequently and sanitize after going to every table. But I must have breathed it in or touched my face at some point throughout the night.

Sunday – All non-essential businesses were closed throughout all of PA. My manager reached out to me to let me know that the restaurant would be closed and I could work take-out if I wanted to. I didn’t so I turned down the offer. I figured I could use the time off to do grad work.

Monday – I started feeling sick. Not COVID19 sick but off. I had some chest tightness, a slight cough, and was tired. Thought nothing of it other than seasonal allergies, it’ll pass.

Tuesday – I woke up with chest pain that wouldn’t go away. It was all day. My cough had got worse but I still wasn’t worried about the cough. I was worried about the chest pain. It was so uncomfortable and I was really distressed by how it wouldn’t go away. I honestly was worried that I was having a heart attack. I reached out to my friend who is an ER nurse and she suggested I go to the hospital. I was stubborn and said I would just call the cardiologist in the morning.

Wednesday – I woke up with chest pain again. Not as bad as Tuesday but still there. I called my cardiologist at 11 and they asked me to come in at 11:20… Sure. No problem. Hastily I got dressed, threw my hair into a messy bun and went. They screened me before I went in, gave me a mask, and within minutes they had me laying down hooked up to an EKG. The doctor saw the results came in and told me that my EKG was fine but based on my symptoms he wanted me to be tested further. He sent me for bloodwork and scheduled an EKG for Friday. He believed based on my symptoms that I had swelling around my heart which could be related to a matter of things including a viral infection. Went for the bloodwork, was given a mask, and at this point my anxiety was pretty high. I got home and felt like I was having a hard time breathing. Brushed it off as just anxiety. By the time I was getting ready for bed, my breathing had gotten worse and so had my coughing. I couldn’t sleep. Every time I lay down the coughing would get worse. I was gasping for air at some points. I was starting to get scared at this point. I still didn’t think I had coronavirus. I thought no way, not me. But I couldn’t breathe right and I couldn’t stop coughing. This went on the whole night but eventually eased up closer to 4 in the morning. I closed my eyes and fell asleep for about 2 hours. I was woken up by the sudden urge to try to take a deep breath. I couldn’t. I just gasped for air.

Thursday – After not having slept and struggling to breathe all night, I was exhausted. I stayed in bed all day – sitting up and watching movies. My doctor called me with the results of my bloodwork that afternoon. Everything was normal including my inflammatory markers. He did mention that they were on the higher end of normal though. I was coughing a lot throughout the day and struggling to catch my breath after but it wasn’t as bad as the night before so I didn’t think anything of it again. I didn’t have much of an appetite all day and didn’t bother trying to eat. I thought at this point maybe I was coming down with something… still not thinking it was coronavirus. By the time I was getting ready for bed, my breathing was labored. I was struggling getting a good breath in. I was dizzy, tired, and just wanted to lie down but when I did the coughing got worse and I couldn’t catch my breath. I went through the night like this. At one point, I had to bend over on my hands and knees trying to get a breath in. It was around 2 A.M. at this point and I was fearful that I wasn’t going to get any sleep.

Friday – I must have fallen asleep at some point Thursday night and woke up Friday fighting to get a breath in around 6 am. I was going to the cardiologist that afternoon for my ECG so I decided to try to be productive in the morning. I tried cleaning but was instantly exhausted and felt like I just needed to relax. I watched some movies on Netflix. I realized I hadn’t eaten anything Thursday so I decided to make myself a salad for lunch. I barely got through one bite of food before I was struggling again. I had to try to catch my breath and I was nauseous and dizzy. I ended up just lying in bed until it was time for me to leave. I got to the cardiologist, was screened given a mask, waited a few minutes and then was brought in for my ECG. The woman doing my ECG had to ask me to not try to take a deep breath because it was messing up her image of my heart. It was a struggle for me because I felt like I needed a deep breath even though I knew I was having a hard time anyways. When it was over and I went home, I felt a little better again thinking that whatever was wrong with me was passing… I was wrong. Friday night was the start of the worst of it for me. I couldn’t breathe. I was gasping for air for what felt like hours. I was scared. My head was pounding. My chest was burning. And then I got one good breath in. But that one breath led to a coughing fit which in turn resulted in me fighting to catch my breath for hours again. This went on all night.

Saturday – Exactly one week from when I think I was exposed. I was so tired. Felt so sick and was now thinking something was wrong. My doctor called me early that morning with the results from the ECG and told me that the lining of my heart was swollen. It could be that it was irritated from me coughing so much but he said that he suggests I be tested for COVID19. I called my family doctor and did a telemedicine visit. She put an order for a test for me and I went right away. They took my vitals when I got there, my heart rate was high and I had a fever. Then came the test. The test was awful. I guess people say it’s basically like the flu test but I’ve never had a flu test before. They use a swab and stick it up your nose, twist it around and then do it again on the other side. It made my eyes water and my nose run but once it was over, it was over. I was told I would have the results in 7 to 10 days. I went home, scared and worried. My roommate went out and bought me some medicine to help manage my symptoms. All day Saturday, I was struggling to breathe, I was coughing, I had a headache, my chest hurt, and I was flat out miserable. I didn’t sleep again Saturday night. It was like Friday night all over again.

Sunday – I had a low grade fever from the moment I woke up - 99.7. I was also so fatigued (probably because I haven’t slept in days at this point), coughing, struggling to catch my breath, and my chest hurt. I stayed in bed, feeling miserable and scared. I still haven’t eaten at this point but I wasn’t hungry. The reality was starting to set in that I might not be okay. I honestly didn’t think I was going to survive. By nighttime, I decided to try to sleep early. I took Mucinex PM to try to help me sleep through the coughing and difficulty breathing. Surprisingly, it worked. I slept through the night.

Monday – I woke up with no fever. My cough wasn’t as deep as previously so I thought that I was getting better. Breathing was a little easier – still a struggle but easier. I thought to myself – okay, it can’t be coronavirus because I’m already getting better. I still didn’t feel well but I felt like I could see the other side of this, the recovery. But it was short lived. Even with the Tylenol and Mucinex my fever came back by NOON. I was coughing again, struggling to breath, etc. My anxiety kicked in too at this point and my hands and feet were sweating and tingling and I was scared. I was literally open-mouthed gasping for air but unable to get a deep breath. I went through the whole night like this. Another sleepless night.

Tuesday – Low fever, headache, cough, but not struggling to catch my breath as often. I tried a little solid food but ended up having a coughing fit immediately after the first couple bites. I was weak and tired and my lungs felt like they were on fire after coughing. But I managed to sleep Tuesday night, thankfully.

Wednesday – Still coughing, still had a low fever, still struggling to catch my breath. I was doing better than Tuesday, though. I ate soup, drank a protein shake, and felt like I could be on the mend.

Thursday – I went backwards. I felt so sick again. I didn’t sleep well Wednesday. I was up constantly trying to catch my breath or cough.

Friday – Coughing a lot again. Any activity resulted in a deep cough and then 5 to 10 minutes of trying to catch my breath afterwards. But I ate finally. I actually had an appetite. My breathing was easier but still not great. After each bite, it took me a few minutes to catch my breath again before the next bite. That left me feeling exhausted and frustrated. However, I realized that I was doing much better today than I was a week ago. Progress has been slow but I am doing better.

Saturday – So that brings us to today – I got a call at 11 am this morning. They had my test results. The woman sounded chipper at first but immediately after I confirmed that I was in fact who I am, her voice got very low and she told me that I am positive for COVID19. It took me a little while to process my thoughts and emotions but I decided that I could use this to help others. I know every case is different but if someone else is going through a mild case and is scared or anxious, there is hope. I am exactly at two weeks from when I was exposed and I feel better. Not great, hell not even good, but better. The worst is over (hopefully) and I’m recovering. I still fight to catch my breath every 20 or 30 minutes and I still have coughing fits and eating is still a struggle. But I’m getting better and I refuse to stop trying to get better.

So people, please take this seriously. I was fighting to breathe for days and was scared out of my mind. I didn’t know if I was going to come out of this alive or not. Thankfully, I did start getting better. Thankfully it was a mild case. There are people out there that have it much worse than I did or do. Do your part and stay home. Self-isolation and social distancing is the only way that we can flatten the curve.

TL;DR – I have a mild case of coronavirus. I coughed a lot, fought for my breath, but I’m getting better.

#tldr coronavirus covid19 whatitslike sick recovering

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surveysonfleek · 6 years ago

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1102.

Shot of whiskey, or a bottle of Smirnoff? bottle of smirnoff.

Would you consider yourself an adventurous person? eh, not really. it’s not the right word for me. i do like trying new things, i’m just not adventurous.

Have you ever snuggled with someone you weren’t dating? yes.

What were you doing at 11 pm last night? working.

How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking? hmm. not that often.

Are you doing this because you’re bored? obviously.

Would you consider yourself heartless? nope.

Do you ever wish you were the opposite sex? nope.

If you could go on ONE DATE with any celebrity, who would it be? hmm. avan jogia haha.

Have you ever been afraid of being underwater? yes, always. i hate the idea of not being able to breathe.

Would you ever scuba dive in shark infested waters if you had the chance? probably not.

If you woke up and no one was home, would you wonder where everyone is? on a normal day, no. on a weekend, probably.

Have you ever been drunk at work? yes but not while i was working.

Have you ever hit a parked car with your car? haha yes.

If you just drank 15 beers, what would you be doing? i’d be out of my damn mind. i hate beer.

What would you do if your girlfriend or boyfriend didn’t like your friends? i’d ask why.

Have you ever slept on the floor with someone you like? yes.

Have you ever woken up next to someone and were freaked out? nope.

Would you take a road trip with your friends? for sure.

Which do you prefer: french toast, bagels, or cereal? bagels! but it has to have cream cheese and salmon.

Do you prefer light or dark haired? dark.

Do you have photos up around your room, of you? yes.

If you’re extremely quiet, what does that mean? tired, angry, sad, bored, uncomfortable.

Do you have a hard time controlling your emotions? sometimes.

Ever been suspended from school? nope.

Does it make you mad when people stare at you? yes.

Do you prefer pens or pencils? pens.

Have you ever read any of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books? i have but not all the way through.

Last person you were in the car with? my boyfriend.

What time did you wake up this morning? around 11am.

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? yes.

How tall are you? 5′4″

How many drugs are in your system? nothing.

What foreign language do / did you study? none.

Do you own sunglasses? of course.

Where is the next place you will travel to? no idea :(

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? sleeping.

Do you say sexy a lot? i actually never say it.

Do you want to cut your hair? no. i’m trying to grow it.

Do you have empty bottles of alcohol hidden somewhere? nope.

You have to get a piercing, what do you get? ears.

Do you miss anyone? yes.

Think back to your most recent relationship — Serious or not? Was it worth it? currently in one. it’s serious and long term.

Who was the last person in your bed? my boyfriend. no wait, bekah lol.

Don’t tell me lies, so is the last person you texted attractive? sure.

Where is the person you last kissed at this moment? sleeping at home.

Have you ever sneaked someone over to your house? back when i was younger.

Is it okay if you kiss people when you’re single? of course.

Do you think it’s possible that you could move on from someone, and then redevelop feelings for them? of course.

How’s your hair right now? down and a bit greasy.

Do you only wish the best for your ex? sure.

How are things between you and the person you like? good.

What were you doing at 4 AM last night? sleeping.

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to sleep last night? my boyfriend.

What time did you decide to get out of bed today? 12pm.

Did you straighten your hair this morning? no.

When was the last time you laughed really hard? tonight i think.

What do you hear right now? the tv and my heater.

If you were breaking up with your girlfriend/boyfriend, what would you most likely say? i wouldn’t break up with him right now.

Do you think that once people get married, they eventually fall “out of love”? nope.

Ever had a near death experience? no.

Where’s your cell phone? right next to me.

What is the last thing you thought about? this. and how heavy my eyes are.

Do you regret anything? i do but i don’t like dwelling on it.

If you found out you were pregnant who would you tell first? my boyfriend.

Who would you like your next “fling” to be with? no one.

Are you slowly drifting away from someone close? nah.

When was the last time you saw the person you last kissed? a couple hours ago.

Do you like your phone? yes.

Last alcohol beverage? canadian club.

Have you ever slept in a bed with the opposite sex? yes.

If you had to move in with a friend, which one would you pick? my boyfriend.

What do your best friends call you? by my nickname.

Who was the last person to go to the movies with you? my boyfriend.

Are you currently fighting with someone? nope.

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach? it’s been awhile!

Do you mainly use your house phone or your cell phone? cell.

Is there an empty place in your heart? nope.

Do you count down the days till anything? until the weekend.

Are you looking forward to something as of right now? yes. tomorrow!

Have you ever been called a tease? yes.

What are your chances of getting with your crush? i’m already with him.

Are any of your friends so close that you consider them family? yes.

Anyone told you a secret this week? nah.

Do you hate anyone? nope.

Last time you wore the opposite sex’s clothing? hmmm. i forgot.

What do you want in your life right now? some direction.

When was the last time you laughed so hard you thought you were going to cry? idk.

Do you trust people easily? not really.

Proud of anything right now? yes.

Name a band you’d like to see live? majid jordan. soon!

Have you ever been stalked? not that i know of.

Have anything on your mind? sleep.

Name three things that meant something to you, but now doesn’t? three people that aren’t in my life anymore i guess.

Name three things that didn’t mean anything to you, but now does? the future.

Favourite type of music? rnb.

What band/group have the most lyrics that represent you? haha idk.

Pass or fail a drug test if you took one right now? pass.

Do you drive? yes.

Own a car? yes.

Best season? autumn.

Who’s your best friend/s? my boyfriend.

Would you rather sing or dance? sing.

One thing you really want to learn? anything really.

What’s your favourite tv channel? i hardly watch tv channels. i just watch everything on demand.

Name your favourite programs? too many to name.

What are you doing this summer? not sure yet.

How many times have you been on a plane? ugh, countless times tbh.

Favourite song? too many to name.

Scared of anything? yes.

One thing you wish for? happiness and success.

Do you get jealous easy? not anymore.

What colour is your hair? black.

What night club plays the best songs to dance to? haha i haven’t been clubbing in forever.

Made up with anyone recently after an argument? yes.

Missing anyone right now? yes.

Do you use MSN? msn is dead.

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

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sad-af1121 · 7 years ago

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Magnets (One-shot)

Summary: What could possibly be the best way to let someone know some exciting news? You went with an easy plan in such a short amount of time but you wanted to cherish the moment with Bucky, even if it was cheesy. At least you’d have a story to tell your firstborn and how exactly it went down. Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader Word Count: 1825 Warnings: FLUFF A/N: Credit to @ruby-white-rabbit for the cute hc. Thank you, dear! Feedback is welcomed 💜

The sweet and strong taste of green tea flooded your mouth as you take a sip to wake yourself up. The earthy fluid rested on your tongue, awakening some of your senses. Caffeine was a dire need now, especially if you had to wake up this early for what you planned about 24 hours ago. You couldn’t have your usual expresso due to well… you being pregnant. It was only yesterday when you found out about the exciting yet frightful news. You told yourself this was good. More than that.

This was a new beginning.

And honestly, it sucked ass that you couldn’t indulge in caffeine because you couldn’t go a day without it. Yes, you were more productive and lively when you drank a couple of cups throughout the day. But you didn’t want to risk intaking too much for the sake of the little bundle of joy you were soon going to have.

You were sitting on the couch watching Friends when you had the sudden impulse to puke. It ran itself up your throat before you emptied the contents of your stomach into the toilet bowl. Relief washed over you once you made it to the bathroom, sweat resting on the top of your brows. Just in time too or else you would had used Bucky’s combat boot as a waste bin again.

He wouldn’t have been too pleased about that. It could explain the other times you got drunk and used his favorite pair to do exactly that. He obviously forgave you, but he kept his shoes hidden whenever you got to that stage. That taught him a lesson too: not to leave his things lying around or else bad things might happen to them.

Aka they’re shit out of luck.

You thought back to the food you ate the night before. Maybe the buffalo wings you ordered from that sketchy restaurant were bad? It’s not like you haven’t had them before; they were your lazy food whenever you didn’t feel like cooking for the night. And on those nights Bucky wasn’t home. Missions and paperwork kept him busy for most days out of the week, so you didn’t have to worry about his strict diet guidelines he set for you. So what you like eating fries dipped in chocolate sauce. It tasted so fucken good to you.

However, Bucky refuted that. Telling you ‘you should eat foods to fuel your body. Not to fill it up with nonsense things.’ You just agreed and ate food that were good for you. But hell, it didn’t stop you from having cheat days.

You stared at yourself in the mirror. The color of your skin lost its beautiful warmth, the awful taste in your mouth made you queasy and the slight pain in your tummy troubled you. It wasn’t too bad, it was bearable. The soft chill of the Fall season didn’t raise any questions to catch the common flu or cold, so it was hard narrowing down the source.

Your face scrunched in thought before the light bulb in your head went off. Mother Nature didn’t visit you last month and it was starting to look like she wasn’t going to come this month either, making you smack your forehead with frustration. Quickly, you laid out about three pregnancy tests (thank god Wanda gave them as a gag birthday gift), and peed on them, waiting for the results. Those 5 excruciating minutes had your nerves wrecked and your heart almost gave out with the tension you built inside your head. Whether or not Bucky would be happy was a constant thought. It wasn’t like you two hadn’t talked about having kids.

Because he wanted them. Badly.

Your body was under utter stress, screaming with anxiousness as you shut both eyes, exhaling deeply before opening one eye to peak at the tests. Your vision wasn’t that great, especially since you were about 3 feet away from lines that are smaller than the size of a rice grain. Stepping closer, and opening both eyes, you looked down on the counter as they widened at the double lines on each test, informing you that you’re pregnant. Every emotion possible danced inside of you and you didn’t know what to do next.

Squealing with joy, you ran out the bathroom to call Bucky home, but you stopped in front of your phone, wanting this moment to be special- something to remember when thought back to. Thus, you called Wanda. And boy was she jumping up and down like a five-year-old. You could have sworn you lost your hearing with her shriek of enthusiasm and cheerfulness. You two gossiped about how excited you were, discussing a plan to tell Buck that you were carrying his child.

And here you are, setting the little box filled with children’s alphabet magnets on the comforter of the bed as you carefully sit on your knees beside Bucky’s metal arm. You could have gone with a better way of telling him, but you wanted your husband to know as soon as he woke up. His hair was disheveled, covering most of his face. You brush his chestnut locks out from his eyes, smiling down at his peaceful state. Leaning in, you place a chaste kiss on his forehead. Bucky sucks in a breath, making you still in that position, your lips just inches away from him. You were afraid to move because he might wake up and ruin the little plot. But he simply turns onto his side, giving you a better access to his arm.

“This better fucking stick.” You assertively murmur under your breath before placing the letters onto his arm, releasing a breath of hope as they adhere to the metal. These were cheap magnets and you were content that they worked. After about 15 minutes of perfecting each character on his arm, your eyes roam over to his alarm clock that was about to ring in 30.

“Shit!” Hissing, you hurry off the bed, pushing the little box under as you rush out the bedroom to leave for work. Thank goodness you got ready beforehand or else Bucky wouldn’t have let you go after finding out. Grabbing your bag and keys, you run out your apartment, the foolish grin on your face never leaving as you made your way to your car then work.

Humming in his sleep, Bucky’s eyes flutter open, lids heavy with slumber as he groans. “Baby?”

He calls out to you, only meeting silence in return. He gets the idea that you left for work like usual, nothing in his head to facetime you later to see your beautiful face. Bringing his flesh hand to his eyes, he rubs away the remaining of his sleep, narrowing his sight at the clock before shutting off the alarm the second it began to ring. Smirking, he turns over again, pulling the covers up to his neck as he snuggles with the fresh cotton before tensing when his phone rings throughout the quiet home.

“Jesus Christ.” He growls, throwing the blanket over to reach for his phone. “Hello?”

“Hey, buddy. We need you down at the tower, like now.” Clint informs, nodding over to Steve as he walks beside him. “We got new recruits and you and Cap need to do some early training with them. Orders from Fury.”

Rolling his eyes, Bucky stares at the ceiling, irritation laced in his tone. “I need to shower -”

“You can shower here. Now get your ass up. See you soon.”

“I- Hello? Did he just hang up on me?” Bucky scoffs, eyeing the phone with disappointment before tossing it to the side. He gets out of bed, his feet weighing a ton as he drags them across the wooden floors. Exhaustion resided inside him, but duty calls.

After using the toilet and splashing cold water on his face, Bucky walks out, quickly grabbing his jeans and a new t-shirt before slipping those on. Within a short time, Bucky’s out the door, throwing his jacket over his shoulders before getting in his car and driving to the tower.

The usual elevator ride to the gym wasn’t anything exciting. He wondered what he would have to do today when he’d get free time to himself, or if his mind would mess with his day. He could only hope and pray.

The elevator grabs his attention as the steel doors open, the sounds of grunts and groans coming from the distance as Bucky makes his way to the locker room. There, he’s greeted by Clint who happens to be changing out of his training clothes.

“I thought we were training the newbies?” Bucky asks, pressing his flesh thumb onto the padlock of his locker as it turns from red to green.

“Nope. I said you and Steve were. I just got done working out. Got a mission later with Nat.” Clint informs, stuffing his boxing tape inside his locker before shutting it. “Besides. You guys are great history teachers too.”

Just then, Steve enters, chuckling at Clint’s words. “Really, Barton?”

Bucky huffs, shaking his head as he pulls off his coat and hangs it on the hook. “That joke’s old.”

“Yeah, like you.” Clint snorts, making Bucky turn slowly in a creepy yet terrifying manner. His fists clench by his sides as his nostrils flare with anger. But both Clint’s and Steve’s widened eyes and surprised expression cause confusion.

“What.”

“Your arm man.” Clint chuckles with excitement. Bucky looks down before interrupted by Steve.

“Congratulations!” Steve beams, wrapping Bucky in a bone-crushing embrace.

“What?” Bucky asks again, harsher than before. Steve pulls away, grabbing Bucky’s metal arm and showing him the magnets that spell out “u r a dad.”

“Wh-what.” Bucky stares at the magnets, his features turning light. His heart is racing and thudding incredibly fast to the point where it feels like it might give out. He re-reads the words, processing the information before seizing his phone from his back pocket, face-timing you.

Ring, ring, ri-

“Heeeeeey.” You grin, taking in Bucky’s flabbergasted expression as a hint. He knows.

“H-hi… Magnets? Really?” He laughs out, taking a seat before his feet decide to give out from under him. He had millions of emotions coursing through him right now.

“Yes!! I only had 24 hours.” You playfully pout, giggling as the butterflies return in your stomach.

“I love it... I love you.” Bucky blurts, laughing louder as he looks around the room. He can feel the tears forming in his eyes but he’s holding them back, knowing he needed a private moment with you. “Get your things. I’m coming down there. Can’t believe I’m going to be a dad!”

“No Buck. Stay- Jesus Christ, he hung up on me.” You chuckle breathlessly, leaning back in your seat.

You should have waited for the weekend because there was no way he’s going to let you out of his sight from now on.

Goodbye cheat days.

PERM TAGS: @thatawkwardtinyperson @jezzula @finallybreathee @plumfondler @atari-writes @angryschnauzer @badassbaker @papi-chulo-bucky @amrita31199 @cumonbucky @soldatbarnes @random-fandom-girl2000 @lostinspace33 @feelthemusicfuckwhatheyresaying @rda1989 @hello-sweetie-get-the-salt @melconnor2007 @feelmyroarrrr @iamsooooohappy @elaacreditava @broken-pieces @ms-potts-to-you @hardcollectiontrashworld @i-kneel-for-king-loki @hufflevirgoclaw @charliexowrite @valkyeries

FIC TAGS: @3brosangel @ruby-white-rabbit @chrisevanshh

(permanent tag list is open/ also tumblr won't let me tag a few of you. I apologize.)

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #the winter soldier x reader #the winter soldier #bucky #Sebastian Stan #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x reader fluff #seb stan

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mymoonnstars · 7 years ago

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Tagged by the wonderful @supercriminalwolf 💗💗thank you!~💗💗

rule: answer these statements and tag 20 people as many peeps as you want (20 is so many lol)

Last

Drink - Water

Phone call - my mom

Text message - @notsoshockingtaylor

Song you listened to - 1of 1 ~ Shinee

Time you cried - When i finished the last few episodes of Scarlet Heart: Ryeo. It was vv emotional lol

Have You Ever

Dated someone twice - nope

Kissed someone and regretted it - nope

Been cheated on - No

Lost someone special - Yep

Been depressed- Yes

Gotten drunk and thrown up - Nope

Kissed a stranger - Nope

Drank hard liquor - Nope

Lost glasses - Misplaced, but not lost

Turned someone down - Yep

Sex on first date - No way

Broken someone’s heart - No

Had your heart broken - No

Been arrested - No

Cried when someone died - Yes

Fallen for a friend - Yes, once

Fave colors

i have so many tbh, mint green, light blue, maroon… many more lol

In the last year have you…

Made new friends - Yes!!!

Fallen out of love - No

Laughed until you cried - It happens quite often

Found out someone was talking about you - Unfortunately yes

Met someone who changed you - possibly?

Found out who your friends are - yeah

Kissed someone on your facebook friends list - lol nope

General

How many of your facebook/tumblr friends do you know in real life - 3

Do you have any pets - Four dogs! Rigby, Hans, Billy and Bella

Do you want to change your name - nope

What did you do for your last birthday - Went to LA with @notsoshockingtaylor to see Shinee! It was amazing!

What time did you wake up today - i was up til 4 am😅, woke up around 9 am lol

What were you doing at midnight last night - playing videogames lol

What is something you can’t wait for - getting through college

What are you listening to right now - I Love It ~ G-Dragon (feat. Zion.T, Boys Noize)

Have you ever talked to a person named tom - yes

Something that’s getting on your nerves - I haven’t had a full, uninterrupted nights sleep in over 2 months…

Most visited website - YouTube, Tumblr, Google Drive lol

Hair colour - naturally dark brown, currently purple lol

Long or short hair - short, right above my shoulders

Do you have a crush on someone - celebrity? sure. person i know irl? nah.

What do you like about yourself - my humor and my eyes lol

Want any piercings? I wanna get my helix pierced on my left ear

Blood type - O positive or negative… i always mix it up

Nicknames - jazz

Relationship status - single

Zodiac - Pisces

Pronouns - she/her

Fave tv shows - shit um doctor who, sherlock, parks & rec, merlin, gotham, shameless to name a few. also kdramas like lookout, black, and hwarang

Tattoos - no, but maybe soon

Right or left handed - Right

College - will be studying to get my PharmD💊

Last time you saw your mom? about an hour ago

One thing you wish you could change in your life - i wish my social skills were a little stronger. Like, I have no problem making friends, but I’m overall a shy person so it’s sometimes hard to motivate myself to meet new people, that makes sense right? No? Oh well lol

Moles? quite a few all around lol

Marks? 2 scars, small one on my side from a clumsy accident, and a small one on my ankle from a sporting accident

Childhood dream? vet or comic book writer/illustrator

Dyed your hair? Yep, several times

Firsts

Surgery - when i was younger, i had to get a baby tooth pulled because it wouldn’t come out on it’s own

Piercings - My ears

Sport - Softball since i was 5, my final season was last year lol

Vacation - ??? i can’t think of the exact first

Sneakers - probably a pair of converse lol

Right Now:

Eating - nothing

Drinking - water

I‘m about to - post this and catch up on my other tags lmao

Waiting for - something new?

Want- to be happy and satisfied with life

@flxwercafe @gentlejongin @jinjins-freckles @loeychateau @cafewonu

#tagged #tags #about scoupsadaisy

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serpentiinequeen · 7 years ago

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I was tagged by @sweetpca

last (1-5)

drink - mixed berry juice

phone call - i think it was my mom.... I don’t actually talk on the phone much

text msg - @rebelkingwrites sending me pics of her w-2 so we can do adult shit

song you listened to - walk on water by eminem ft. beyoncé

time you cried - uh.... no idea

ever..? (6-11)

dated someone twice - I don’t think so.. but its been a really long time since i’ve dated anyone that wasn’t @rebelkingwrites

ever kissed someone and regretted it - nope

been cheated on - no (?) or as far as I know

lost some1 special - my thrid cousin that was a wonderful sassy old bitch

been depressed - all the time. but its the nature of the game when you have things going on in your head like i do.

gotten drunk/thrown up - yup... recently in fact... NOLA did me hard y’all

fav colors (12-14)

purple, black, gray, white

in the last yr have you.. (15-21)

made new friends/ mutuals - yes

fallen out of love - nope.

laughed until you cried - almost every day.

found out some1 was talking about you - yup but like my grandma says its not my concern what people say behind my back. And as RuPaul’s says “bitches don’t pay my bills.”

met some1 who changed you - uh... maybe.. I mean probably not. Actually don’t know.. I guess @rebelkingwrites , but not like in a life prospective way. just a how i deal with people way.

kissed some1 on your FB friends’ list - yup and i do it often ;)

general (22-51)

how many of your FB friends do you know irl - all of them. Unless they are like buisness pages or some shit

you have any pets - a little devil kitten named pluto

do you want to change your name - nah

what did you do for your prev. birthday - just had my birthday like six days ago. I ate pizza, cake and played slim rancher

what time did you wake up today - 5:30 am for about four hours (went back to sleep and woke up at 11:30am)

what were you doing @ midnight last night - played slim ranchers

what is something you can’t wait for - my move at the end of the month. (even if I still haven’t started packing.)

what’re you listening to atm - hymn by kesha

have you ever talked to a person named Tom - I have

something that’s getting on your nerves - people..............

most visited site - tumblr

hair color - brown with bleached ends that are still growing out

long/ short hair - like preference.. neither.. like what i have at the moment also neaith. I prefer medium length.

do you have a crush on some1 - probably like all my friends at any given moment.

what do you like abt yourself - okay this list could get very long because I think I AM THE SHIT. but I just enjoy how sure of my self I am. Like its took a really long road to get here. but like I am me.. and I love that.

want any piercings - umm... more holes in my ears, maybe my lip

blood type - You know.. I knew this... but I can’t rember.

nicknames - tay, gator

relationship status - practically married (shout out to my bottom bitch @rebelkingwrites )

zodiac - aquarius

pronoun(s) - she/her

fav tv/ on-air shows - riverdale, the gifted, rupal’s drag race, totally divas

tattoos? - one, on my collarbone area above my heart. that reads “Love is patien, Love is Kind, My love, My Love she keeps me warm.”

rightie or leftie - right

ever had surgery - not really, had my wisdom teeth cut out while I was under.. but like thats not major

piercings - three in each ear ( technically 4 but the 4th is semi closed at this point.), my daith, my tounge

sports - ew activity

vacation - NOLA

trainers - like shoes.....

more general (52-58)

eating - FUCKING MAC & CHEESE PIZZA ROLLS

drinking - All the tea... Juice... water

i’m about to watch - Below Her Mouth so I can make gifs

waiting for - umm.. the move

want - my shoulder to stop being a bitch

get married - maybe.. maybe not who knows.

career - i’d love to get my own photography buisness off the ground.

which is better (59-65)

hugs/kisses - both

lips/eyes - lips

shorter/taller - taller

older/younger - older

nice arms/ stomach - arms

hookup/relationship - relationship

troublemaker/hesitant - troublemaker lol

have you ever (66-75)

kissed a stranger - nope, barely like touching strangers

drank hard liquor - copious amounts

lost glasses - yup

turned someone down - yup

sex on 1st date - nope

broken a heart - uh.. maybe ?

had your heart broken - yes

been arrested - yup

cried when some1 died - yup

fallen for a friend - yup looking at you @rebelkingwrites

do you believe in.. (76-81)

yourself - up

miracles - yup

love @ first sight - for some people

santa clause - yup

kiss on a 1st date - sure, get it

angels - yup

other (82-85)

best friend’s name - So I’ve tagged @rebelkingwrites alot......... but yeah... Krys

eye color - brown

fav movie - cry baby

fav actor - the hemsworths (not the middle one though)

tagging: @rebelkingwrites @virgniagardner @madelainptsch @lcdyofwinterfell @karolinadeanwrites @bloody-gorgeous-rps @jimmys-afterlife-love

#madeofstardust

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itskrystyna · 7 years ago

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100 Truths

Thanks to the ‘on this day’ function on Facebook, I just discovered that it’s been 7 years since I did this tag! Pretty crazy, but after reading it through I thought it would be cool to do it again at age 23 as a lottt of my answers have changed since then and are a lot more interesting.

What was your:

1. Last beverage: Water 2. Last phone call: My dad asking if everyone was home haha 3. Last text message: It was to and from Anthea, we were talking about Christmas and asked each other to name one thing that we are thankful for. 4. Last song you listened to: A double bass version of Canon in D that my brother sent me 5. Last time you cried: Like 15 minutes ago to my brother and sister. We were talking about friendships and how they change as you age, and I opened up about a friend issue that I am currently dealing with.

Have you ever:

6. Got back with someone you've broken up with: No, but as of right now I’m not completely opposed to the idea as long as certain circumstances could one day be on our side. 7. Been cheated on: Not that I know of. 8. Kissed someone & regretted it: No. I’m not particularly happy about the person I had my first kiss with, but in the moment I knew I wanted it so I don’t regret it. 9. Lost someone special: Yes 10. Been depressed: Yes 11. Been drunk and threw up: No

List 3 favourite colours

12. Green 13. Purple 14. Blue

This year have you (2017)

15. Made a new friend: Yes. Temporary friends, but friends nonetheless. 16. Fallen out of love: No. At one point I believed I did, but I’ve come to accept that ultimately I have not. 17. Laughed until you cried: Yes, I can’t remember why but it was definitely with my brother and/or sister. 18. Met someone who changed you: There was definitely someone who changed me this year, but I haven’t been changed by anyone I met this year. 19. Found out who your true friends were: I am still learning, but I know there is at least one who will stick by me till the end. 20. Found out someone was talking about you: Not in the larger sense 21. Kissed anyone on your Facebook friend's list: Yes, two 22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Most of them except for some family in the Philippines and a couple of online friends and people I met in online communities 23. How many kids do you want?: Ideally 2, a boy and a girl, but I’d try for a third if the first two are the same sex. 24. Do you have any pets?: No 25. Do you want to change your name: No 26. What did you do for your last birthday?: Stayed home. I’ll admit I was kind of in a bad mood on my birthday last week. 27. What time did you wake up today?: 12pm lol my brother woke me up before leaving home 28. What were you doing at midnight last night?: Watching youtube videos in my room till about 3am... I was in a bad head space last night, but I switched to studying a bit of Chinese before bed in attempt to counteract the unproductivity. 29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: I literally cannot wait for this year to end and to go back to school man, no one understands. 30. Last time you saw your Mother: About half an hour ago to say goodnight before she went to sleep 31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life?: I am very grateful for everything I’ve been through since it’s all taught me very valuable life lessons and I would not be the person I am today otherwise, but I guess I just wish that I could have learned a few lessons sooner so I could be ahead in certain aspects of my life and not feel like I’m behind everyone else. I know that life is not a race and that everyone learns and accomplishes things at their own pace, but it’s impossible not to feel that way sometimes although I am working on accepting that all I can do now is look forward, plan for the future and enjoy every moment as best as I can. 32. What are you listening to right now: Some gentle harp music coming from my brother’s laptop. He’s working in my room right now and I let him play whatever he wants :P 34. Who is getting on your nerves now: At this moment nobody! But I suppose you can say that a situation with a friend is really bothering me right now. 36. Whats your real name: Krystyna Kobos 37. Nicknames: Krabs, Tyna, and Ate (if that’s even considered a nickname rather than a title of respect) 39. Zodiac sign: Scorpio sun, Aquarius moon, Virgo rising 40. Male or female?: Female 41. Primary School?: St. Leo 42. Secondary School?: Father John Redmond 43. High school/college?: Ryerson University, YorkU for 3 weeks, and Humber College starting in January! 44. Hair color: Brown 45. Long or short: Medium-ish on the longer side 46. Height: 5′4 47. Do you have a crush on someone? Not crushing, but still in recovery from a heartbreak 48: What do you like about yourself?: I made a list of things I love about myself in my ‘wreck this journal’ type book a few days ago! But one physical thing I like about myself is my big eyes, and one non-physical thing I like is my emotional self awareness and that I allow myself to feel. 49. Piercings: Ears 50: Tattoos: Most probably never 51. Righty or Lefty: Righty

First:

52. First surgery: None 53. First piercing: Ears 54. First best friend: Alyssa in junior kindergarten although I barely remember her, so I will say Jodi in SK. And even though we don’t communicate regularly anymore we still keep in touch and see each other from time to time. 55. First sport you joined: None, although I remember in second or third grade there was a girls soccer tryout meeting at recess and every girl in my grade went for some reason, so I joined them because I didn’t want to be outside alone with all the boys. I never went to another sports meeting after that. 56. First vacation: Philippines 2011! 57. First pair of trainers: Like, shoes? I don’t know lol

Right Now:

58. Eating: Nothing 59. Drinking: I took a sip of water after reading this question 60. I'm about to: Answer the next question and I need to go to bed soon 61. Listening to: Still the harp music coming from my brother’s laptop 62. Waiting for: SCHOOL TO START. Also Christmas. 63. I'm feeling: Relaxed and reflective. I’m in good spirits tonight.

Your Future:

64. Want kids?: Yes 65. Get married?: Yes 66. Career: Yikes, well I recently made the huge decision to drop out of teachers college. Once I go back to school in January I will be on my way to becoming a mental health counselor, and to be completely honest I feel so much more excited to continue education for this reason than I ever did before. 67. Lips or eyes: Eyes 68. Hugs or kisses: Both, although I am not much of a hugger in my everyday life with friends/family and I really enjoy kisses with a significant other. But tender hugs are wonderful too. 69. Shorter or taller: Taller 70. Older or Younger: Older 71. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous romantic moments 72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Arms 73. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive 74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship

Have you ever:

75. Kissed a stranger: No, unless you count a prolonged tinder relationship in which I didn’t truly know all of the person before I kissed them 76. Drank hard Liquor: I don’t really know what defines liquor as hard but I have knocked out and fallen asleep after drinking a bit too much wine (clearly I don’t drink much) 77. Lost glasses/contacts: No 78. Sex on first date: No 79. Broken someone's heart: Yes... I absolutely hated it but I had to do it for myself. 80. Been arrested: No 81. Punched someone: Yes, my brother and Anthea 82. Cried when someone died: Yes 83. Fallen for a friend: Yes, but nothing lasting

Do you believe in:

84. Yourself: I am growing to more and more. 85. Love at first sight: I believe in a moment 86. Heaven: I’m not opposed to the idea of a heaven or an afterlife. I’m comfortable with simply not knowing until we experience our own death, even though it drives me completely insane when I think about it too much. 87. Santa Claus: No 88. Kiss on the first date: A little peck on the lips is fine by me 89. Angels: I believe that invisible spirits exist among us 90. God: I believe that there is one. I believe in the universe and that there’s a part of it inside every living thing on earth and anywhere else that life exists.

Answer Truthfully:

91. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: No 92. Did you sing today?: Maybe just a little singsong, a little humming 93. Did something illegal?: Other than illegally download music, nothing that I can think of 94. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: I would probably just go back to April of this year (2017) and face going to the doctor to take care of the rash above my lip earlier on. It sounds like such a tiny little problem but it got so out of hand that I spiraled into a depression I’ve never experienced before, and even though I’ve gotten much better since then I am still living in the consequence of it. But then again, if that didn’t happen then the sequence of events afterwards never would have happened, and even though I still wish I never had to go through all the suffering as well as the heartbreak I suffered as result of it, I probably would have not yet learned the most important lesson of my life to this date. 95. The moment you would choose to relive?: That one week in February this year. Our time together was much too short and I would do anything to experience it all over again. 96. Are you afraid of falling in love?: I would normally say no, but now I can understand why people would say yes. However I still stand by no even though I’m afraid of having my feelings this past year nullified...even though that sounds completely irrational. It know that doesn’t make sense, but it does. 97. When was the last time you lied?: Today? Yesterday? I don’t really make big lies, just little strings of white lies. 98. Are you usually late, early or right on time?: Late D: 99. Would you give your life to save someone else's?: Yes, if I cared about them enough 100. Are you afraid of posting this as 100 truths?: Not at all.

#personal #100 truths

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years ago

Text

Don’t you just love the smell of Hollister and Abercrombie and Fitch? I actually did used to like it.

When a bee is coming close to you, do you stand still or run away? I back away somewhat quickly, but try not to make a big show of it because I know it’s advised to be calm, but I see a bee and I freak.

Are you self conscious about wearing a bathing suit? Absolutely, so I don’t wear one.

Do you make reminders for important things you need to remember? Yeah, I make great use of the calendar, notes, and reminder apps on my phone.

If you had to play one sport for a living, what would it be? Gah, that would not work for me. I’m not athletic at all and I have zero interest in sports.

Was the last person you texted single? No, he’s with my mom.

Do you get jealous easily? No. I haven’t felt jealous in a long time. What are you currently waiting for? Nothing at the moment.

Do you think more about the past, present, or future? I dwell in the past too much and I’m always stressing and worrying about present stuff.

Is there anybody you wish you could be spending time with right now? No.

Who were the last people you saw besides family? Other patients at my doctor’s office, the receptionist, the nurses, and my doctor.

Which of your friends lives closest to you? No friends.

How do you feel about Diet Dr Pepper? I like it.

Do you ever work out? No. I should be lifting a light weight at least everyday. My upper body strength is so bad now.

Do you go to the tanning bed on a regular basis? I’ve never been to a tanning salon and have no interest in doing so.

Does your bedroom need cleaning? I need to organize some stuff and put some things away.

Vanilla or chocolate? Vanilla.

Pretty Woman or Sixteen Candles? Sixteen Candles.

Do you ever hang out with someone of the opposite sex? My dad and brother.

Are you comfortable with your height? I wish I was a little taller.

Anything on your walls? Yeah, a few giraffe paintings, a a couple beach ones, a couple calendars, a bulletin board, a marker board, and a huge Swedish flag.

What do you bite more, your tongue, lip, or cheek? I’m constantly biting and picking at my lips. :/

What was the last non-alcoholic beverage you had? Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink.

Do you have a box where you keep all your important things? I have boxes and drawers with stuff like that.

How many times have you dyed your hair? Numerous times since I was 13.

Are any of your friends taller than you? Everyone is taller than me except for small children.

Ever liked someone whose name started with a B? I don’t think so.

Have you ever been on a motorcycle? I’ve ridden on the back of one with my dad when I was a kid.

Do you have feelings for anyone? Not the romantic kind.

Name something great that happened today: It’s only 530AM, nothing much has happened.

How did you feel when you woke up today? I haven’t gone to bed yet, but I’m willing to bet I’ll wake up feeling like a zombie like I always do.

Do you use Twitter? I do.

What did you have for dinner yesterday? Wingstop.

What kind of position are you in at the moment? I’m sitting on my bed.

Furthest away from home you have ever been? When I went to Atlanta, Georgia.

What colour pants/skirt/etc are you currently wearing? I’m wearing blue Adidas leggings.

When was the last time you drank water? Like an hour ago.

Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed? No.

Do you answer the phones at your job? I don’t have a job.

What’s your ring tone? One of the ones that come with the phone.

What were you doing at 12 AM last night? I was doing surveys.

Do you want to fix anything with anyone? Not at this time.

Do you have trust issues? No really. I have a hard time with expressing myself and opening up to others, but it’s not so much a matter of trust.

Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Yes.

Are you going to have a good night? My night has been okay.

Have you ever given up on someone and then went back to them? Yes.

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night? Well no, cause I don’t even go to bed until like 7 or 8AM.

What shows do you watch? I watch a lot of different shows.

What’s wrong with you right now? Just blah as usual.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Absolutely.

What’s your relationship with the person you last texted? He’s my dad.

Are you looking forward to anything? No.

Have you ever broken someone’s heart? My first ex told me I did.

Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes? Yes.

Does anyone disgust you? Myself.

Did you enjoy your weekend? It’s just starting.

Have you argued with anyone today? No.

Your enemy is at your doorstep begging for forgiveness, what would you do? I don’t have any enemies, thankfully.

Has someone had their arms around you in the past 7 days? To give me a hug, yeah.

Dare you to detail why you kissed the last person you kissed? We just wanted to? I never understand this question.

Are you afraid of losing the last person you talked to? One of my biggest fears is my loved ones passing away. Which is obviously inevitable, but still.

What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? I don’t remember. My mind wanders off and thinks about random things.

When’s the last time you had a headache? A few days ago.

Is anyone else in the room with you? Nope.

Who was the last person you had a conversation with on the phone? My mom.

Does anyone call you babe? No.

Is there anything you are craving right now? Not at this moment.

What was the first thing you thought of this morning? I haven’t gone to bed yet, but I always check the time when I first get up.

Are you satisfied with what you currently have in life? I am appreciative of the good things, but there’s so much I’d like to change and I’m unhappy with.

What were you doing at 7:00 AM? It’s 5:56AM, so I’m sure I’ll still be awake in like an hour. Sigh.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Like 4ish.

Do you know anyone who has been arrested? Yes.

Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you laughed with them? Uhh, countless times. How do you even count that? Not to mention, he was always making me laugh.

How do you feel about your hair right now? I hate it. It needs to be dyed so bad, it could use a trim, and a style would be nice. I don’t do anything with it besides throw it up in a messy bun.

When you were in elementary school, did you change best friends a lot? Yeah. When I was a kid “best friend” was a term thrown around quite loosely.

Last thing you touched not computer-related? My phone.

Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you? No.

Does the song you’re currently listening to remind you of anyone specific? I’m not listening to music.

Who was the last person to give you a ride somewhere? My mom.

When and where was the last time you took a picture of yourself? A few weeks ago in the car.

Have you ever been scolded by a mall cop? No.

How often do you catch yourself daydreaming? A lot.

What’s your favorite thing to think about as you’re falling asleep? I don’t get much say in that.

Is there anything that you want to do, but won’t because you’re too afraid? There’s a lot of things.

Who gets up the earliest in your household? The latest? My dad gets up the earliest. He’s off on the weekends and he still gets up at like 5AM for some reason. The latest is definitely me.

Have you ever had a pet walk across your keyboard while you were typing? No, my doggos have always been too big to do that.

You’re going to your favorite foreign country; what landmarks do you go see? I just want to see everything and really experience Sweden.

What is the longest amount of time that you have spent away from your home? A few months during hospital stays.

Did the last movie you watched have any emotional effect on you? No.

What motivates you to go to school? I’m done with school, thankfully. I’ve been so unmotivated and without energy the past few years and I’m glad I finished school before that happened and I sunk into the hole I’ve been stuck in.

Are you more hyper and uptight, or laid back and relaxed? I’m never hyper and I definitely haven’t felt relaxed in a long time. I think to some people I’d appear laid back, but oh boy if they only knew. And honestly what appears be laid is me just feeling... flat.

When was the last time you heard someone talking about you? I don’t know.

How did you pick out your last outfit? I just grabbed whatever.

When buying shoes, what do you look for in the product? For me it’s just about how they look. Comfort isn’t a factor for me as someone who has no feeling in their legs and feet.

What happened to cause the last mess you made? I let some stuff build up.

Are you embarrassed to bring people into your bedroom? I would be right now.

When was the last children’s birthday party you attended? A few years ago for one of my cousins.

Are you good at reading other people’s body language? I think I am.

If you’re sick, do you go to school or do you stay home (usually)? I’m not in school anymore, but I mean for me it depended on how sick I felt. Of course now in the days of COVID you’re advised to stay home if you feel sick at all. Most schools, at least where I am, are all on Zoom now anyway, though.

Does chicken noodle soup really make you feel any better? I don’t feel it ever did anything for me.

What is one meal that you like to eat whilst sick? If I’m sick I usually don’t have much of an appetite, if one at all depending on how sick I am. I don’t eat much, but I’ll try to eat a little at least of something.

Think of the last survey you filled out; did you enjoy it? Sure.

Have you ever fed bread to ducks or geese? I did when I was a kid. I didn’t know you shouldn’t do that at the time.

Is it hard to imagine you were ever as small as a 1-2 year old? Yeah, that is weird to think about.

What set the tone for your mood today? It’s 6:22AM and right now I just feel tired.

Have you ever set out to ruin someone else’s day? No, that’s definitely not something I’d want to do.

The name of the last board game that you played? I don’t remember.

What was the last thing that you told yourself? That I would try to go to sleep a little earlier. ha.

Do you remember your D.A.R.E. officer’s name? I actually do.

Someone throws hot coffee on you; how do you react? Uh, wtf? Firstly, I’d react to the HOT coffee that I had thrown at me. That would be excruciatingly painful. I’ve accidentally spilled really hot coffee on myself before so I would know. So yeah, I’d feel the pain and shock from that and then I’d just be like wtf??? I’d be so confused and upset and most of all, furious.

Is there a high school or college that you would rather be attending? I graduated college, I’m doneee.

Have you ever lived in an apartment or duplex home? A duplex.

Has anyone ever commented on your weight? Yes, I get comments a lot about how I’m too thin.

Where do you stand when it comes to sexual intercourse? Well, I’m a virgin, so.

Name a show from the 90’s that you miss? I still watch a lot of them to be honest.

Have you ever thought about joining the military? No. I couldn’t anyway even if I wanted to because of my physical disability.

When you were little, did you ever stare at disabled or “different” people? I was and am a disabled person and I’ve had to deal with people staring all my life because I’m in a wheelchair and hear kids ask their parents, “what’s wrong with her?”

Could the contents of your bedroom get you in any trouble? No.

Do weather patterns sometimes have an effect on your health? The heat definitely does. Ugh, I hate the summer. I do not do well with the heat.

If it snows a lot where you live, do you experience cabin fever? It doesn’t snow here. :(

How good are you at getting along with other people? I don’t have a problem with getting along with others.

Have you ever felt like you were going out of your mind? Oh yes.

Has anyone ever suggested that you might need “help”? Yes. And I agree.

How do you respond to cheesy pick-up lines? No one has used a cheesy pickup line on me.

How was the service at the last restaurant you visited? I’m gonna answer this with takeout because ever since the pandemic hit last year I haven’t gone out to eat anywhere, but I get takeout all the time. Anyway, last night I got Wingstop and my brother realized when he got home they gave him the wrong order, so he had to drive back and it’s like a 15 minute drive there and back on the highway, so it’s not a quick, easy trip. He gets back and I realize they forgot my extra side of the lemon pepper sauce that I like to get, which wasn’t as big of a deal of course, but still annoying. I didn’t say anything about a small thing like that, but I was just annoyed with the whole situation and that I didn’t have that extra side of sauce to dip my wings in. It adds to what makes it good, ya know? I like my ranch and my extra sauce. I would have been even more upset if they forgot the ranch because their ranch is the best.

Are you ever jealous of happy couples? I feel a little envious sometimes cause I’d like to experience that.

Describe a thought that is sticking with you today? My mind is a jumbled mess.

Lately, who has spent the most time on your mind? No one in particular. I’m more occupied with thoughts of things I’m dealing with, things I’m feeling, and things that are going on.

In a car: air conditioning, or roll the windows down? AC, for sure. Especially during the summer when it’s hot and miserable because rolling the windows down doesn’t do shit.

When was the last time you did anything to your playlist? I added songs to it like a month ago.

Is there a new song or band you’ve discovered? Not recently. I haven’t been listening to music recently.

What teacher gives you the most homework? --

Are you punctual? Yes. I hate being late.

Have you ever howled at the full moon? Uh, no.

Do you give any consideration to what’s said in your horoscope? I don’t even read it. I don’t believe in astrology.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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