#I have v strong opinions on op pairings it’s the one of those things I’m soooo weird about LOL

[lotusandrooty]

Only on tumblr do I block ppl who enjoy OP ships that I Do Not™️

[radramblog]

Rating the letters of the alphabet

I feel like part of my style of comedy is just rambling about shit and making loose connections between things as part of an overall bit. I think. I’m no expert on myself, unfortunately.

The inspiration for the following absolute load of shite is trying to search Tiermaker for nothing. Like, no characters in the search bar. Didn’t come up with anything. Did a search for just a space. No dice. What about just a? Surely that’ll bring up everything with an A in the title. But it didn’t, and I was somewhat disappointed.

Then my head started writing bits about letters and that’s how we got here. This is probably really stupid, but maybe it’ll at least be fun. Wordplay is cool, though maybe not my strong suit? Anyway.

A: A is one of the two letters that’s also just a word, as you’ve just seen, giving it a necessary promotion in rank. Not a lot of things get to double up like that, though with the “an” ligature maybe it’s actually a double or nothing. But because of the confusing common connection crossing contexts for the character, it gets somewhat awkward to talk about the letter in conversation. An A, in my opinion, A does not get. 4/5.

B: B is also just a word letter but unlike A when you write it out you have to stick a few extra letters on to make it work, making it not as good. But B’s association with bees isn’t enough, because in the year of our lord, like, 2019 or something, it would become inextrixably linked with shite memes as the B emoji became king. And I just don’t respect that. It’s otherwise a fine letter, dragged down by its company. 2/5.

C: Oh come on now, the word doesn’t even have a C in it anymore! You can sea the see without any of our tertiary letter’s involvement whatsoever. Not to mention how its two main sounds are just copies from other letters wholesale. C must be confusing to non-english speakers, I’d imagine. C as a grade gets what C as a grade typically entails for many a schoolchild. 3/5.

D: It would be remiss of me not to give a sterling grade to the D. Why, none of us would be here without it. While many a youth may find the D to be quite a humourous subject, I assure you I’m taking it with the gravest of sincerity when I say the D has got to be one of the best letters of all.

And by D I mean deity, of course. Wait, what did you think I meant? 5/5.

E: The absolute absurdity that is the E meme elevates E efficiently enough to excel beyond many another vowel. However, it is also the single most common letter in the English language, going so far as to open the damn name. It’s to the point where someone made a point of writing an entire book without using it, and I think Gadsby is cool but mayhaps avoiding fifth uncial was a bit showy. I can’t help but mark it down for the sake of hipster cred. 3/5.

F: F is for Fuck. I like the word Fuck. F is for paying respects. I think the military-industrial complex has poisoned our cultural landscape to the point that a reference to one of its most prized productions’ awkward moments has become one of the most colloquially used meme letters in existence, And That’s Terrible. 3/5, I’m conflicted.

G: Man literally who the fuck cares about G. What is it even good for. Just an absolute waste of a letter, total shithouse. It’s NATO equivalent is Golf, the Worst Sport, too. Who asked for any of this? Just use a J instead, it’s cooler. 1/5.

H: I’ve seen “Hhh” used enough times in written forms of pornography to not consider it a Horny Letter. That and it, being short for Hentai, is often used to denote adult material in Japan. Basically what im saying is, I think this gets worse the less sex-positive you are. 6/9.

I: I think I’ve said enough about letter words already, but I is another high-tier one because like A I is just it’s own thing. It can also, however, be a bit confusing, looking just like an l a lot of the time, and having to constantly capitalise it is a pain in the ass. I also don’t have a particularly high opinion of myself, so a high opinion of I seems disingenuous. 3/5.

J: Clearly the best letter, hands down. I’m definitely not biased. There are so few letters as underappreciated by J- a fact many a person who’s had to do that “assign yourself an alliterative adjective” icebreaker game has had to reckon with. Because it appears to be a lot more popular with names than with words, and that just kind of sucks. 6/5.

K: K has in some circles managed to bump off its partner to become yet another letter word, though in a very informal abbreviated sense. However, when you’re looking into scientific fields, eventually said partner returns, having lost some weight on the trip down to absolute zero. This all makes complete sense in my head, and I’m sure is a lot less funny to anyone who doesn’t live there. 4/5.

L: I’d argue that L doesn’t cop its namesake. It’s a really useful letter, loads of words use it, especially in pairs, and my ADHD-brain thought it was fun to just say LLLLLLLLLLL for a bit while I was thinking about this so I guess that’s staying in now. Put me down as an L Lobbyist. 4/5.

M: Mmmmmm. M&Ms. But also it’s kind of a pain to write. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. 3/5.

N: I’d like to fight whoever decided we should have two letters that sound so similar right bloody next to each other in the alphabet. Actually, who the fuck even decided the alphabet’s order to begin with? Maybe it should go M to N, that’ll bloody show you. 2/5.

O: Our fourth vowel, and perhaps one of the underappreciated ones. O is similarly a letter word, but a much more common one considering its use as an interjection. It’s also one half of a very powerful letter combo, as we’ll see. 4/5.

P: There’s the other half. Many a joke involves OP as a phrase, whether it mean overpowered or original poster, and the letters’ adjacency is a lovely bit of serendipity. Whenever I say P out loud, on its own, I have to resist the urge to do some incredibly shitty beatboxing, which may or may not be a good sign. 4/5.

Q: I was going to write some very harsh words about Q, and its dependency on U, but then I realised that that is probably hate speech against the disabled. It still sucks, though. 0/5.

R: R is the one I am most struggling to think of things to say about. R is another letter that’s just kinda there. I’m sure the Roberts and Rachels of the world would disagree with me, though. It’s also the name of a program that I know has traumatised a lot of young biologist wannabes, slapping us with a whole pile of maths and statistics when we just wanted to look at cool plants and shit. Or in my case, cool cells and shit. 2/5.

S: The most overrated consonant, but also the thing that makes plurals not a pain in the ass. However I’m going to lean towards giving S a positive rating, if only because it’s associated with snakesssss (and serpentine characters who can talk) and I like those. 3/5.

T: I don’t think T gets enough credit as one of the pillars of the English language. A lot of very common words feature it, and yet it feels like it never gets the same level of credit as big shots like S or half of the vowels. T is like the character actor of the alphabet, is basically what I’m saying. 4/5.

U: Ah, the letter Americans hate for some reason. I think this is actually commentary on the history of American politics. Because throughout history, America has been extremely selfish and self-centered, while attempting to present a positive image that people are finally seeing past. They only entered WWI and WWII when it was convenient for them, they started wars and initiated coups in even their allies for petty ideological reasons, and they’ve gone to war with several countries and funded wars with several others seeming just for shits and giggles. Because apparently if you’re not an American, then you’re not one of them, and that means they hate U. 4/5.

V: I actually think V is underrated. It’s a fun sound. That’s it, no joke here. It’s neat, I like it. 4/5.

W: This may come as a shock to you, but double-u over here is actually two Vs! unless you’re writing in cursive, but fuck cursive. The French actually have it right on this one, naming it double-v (pronounced doobleh-vay). Add in the fact that it’s literally just M upside down, and you’ve got a pretty shite letter. 1/5.

X: There’s a reason literally every “A is for Apple” thing you see made for kids uses Xylophone for X, and that’s because there are no commonly used words that start with it. Seriously, it’s all just scientific terms- I’d argue X-Ray is more common than Xylophone in common parlance, but also, who wants to explain imaging to a kid. It doesn’t even get a second page of words on Dictionary.com. X also has implications as a letter word, that I’d rather avoid at the moment. 2/5.

Y: Ah, Ygreck, everyone’s favourite “what the fuck, France?” moment. Between that and being sorta kinda not really a vowel, Y prompts its own question more often than I’d care to admit. 2/5.

Z: As a (technical) member of the generation associated with this letter- on the one hand, I’m sorry, on the other, y’all have it coming. The final letter of the alphabet, one of the other ones worth 10 in scrabble (and yet X isn’t???), and one we probably got pretty sick of in the early 00s when it was everywhere- ironically, when most of the generation was getting born. 2/5.

And that’s the lot of them. I hope this didn’t alienate any non-English speakers too hard. It’s probably fine.

Join me for more bullshit next time I have another stupid idea. I mean, tomorrow.

[saint-patrice]

it’s time for another one, friends!! today we are loving and appreciating mr charles patrick mcavoy (i, personally, do this every day). this one is for @softboybradenholtby/@cheeksavoy​, thank you for encouraging my nonsense!

Note: a few people have said they like these posts, so i’m happy to take requests if there’s a particular player you’d like to see! see this page for details, and a list of ones i’ve done so far :)

is a young charlie mcavoy attacking his usa teammate with a hug not the best thing you have seen all day? perhaps not, but it has to rank pretty high, because it’s adorable. also makes for a good meme template, for example i would label charlie as “me” and colin white as “the bruins,” “my mutuals,” or even “charlie mcavoy”

(gif via @gaudreau) quick!! someone arrest him for Too Handsome crimes

(gif via @davidpastrnak) the only thing better than charlie mcavoy is charlie mcavoy with glasses!!! and that is a scientific fact. i’m not sure i can cope with how much i love him

there are so many pictures of our boys with pups and i appreciate that to no end. this one in particular

(gif via @werenski) this is the first gif of charlie i have saved on my phone and i think that’s very valid of me. are there any pictures of the rest of this suit anywhere? because it looks amazing - i love the blue on him!! he is positively radiant here, and that single loose corl improved my quality of life by 250%

(gif via @phillymyers) how can you not love him???? he’s just laughing his life away after his first career fight (against none other than pld), and then when he got out of the box he proceeded to provide an assist to get a gordie howe hat trick!!! fucking legend and a half right here. oh, and he was 19 at the time

“This kid's fucking jacked. Thick, dense, built whatever you wanna call him he's got it. Legs thicker than my chest, and shoulders wider than my wingspan. Making full use of his frame and with the golden flow to top it off. He dwarfed us all. Bonafide stallion.”  (if you’re currently wondering what sort of crack i smoked before making this post, just click the link)

if these 2 aren’t your favoruite d-pair you may need to re-evaluate your life choices. i just love them so much, and i love that every clip of cmac hugging zee just has him looking like he’s clinging onto a tree for dear life. heavy father-son vibes,, very adorable

how does he actually do it...how does he look this good all of the goddamn time. if i didn’t love him i would hate him for it yknow

every single photo and piece of video from charlie at world juniors is so premium - and he won gold!!! i’m very proud. i want to kiss his face so bad okay

don’t let his sweet face deceive you though, this is a “big boy” we are dealing with, to use hockey terms. and looking at this it is immediately obvious that he could kill me with extreme ease, so i am slightly afraid. luckily he only uses his v strong arms for good, like holding dogs and beating the living shit out of p*narin!!

this is such a mess of a photo and i love it. what the fuck is he doing. i showed this to a friend (non-hockey literate) and asked her to guess what height both of them were. i forget her answer but when i told her charlie was 6′ she had an existential crisis that only got worse when i told her how tall zee actually was. basically charlie is just our 6 foot baby long beach dman

LOOK AT THIS SHIT!!! HE HASN’T CHANGED A BIT

i went from learning that charlie had a tattoo, with a dodgy quality picture where it was barely visible, to then seeing this video and this photo in the space of 2 days and i think it’s going to take me a long time to recover from that having those revelations at such breakneck speed. this man is a mf Machine

(gif via @chuckersbean) okay i promise this is my last slightly self-indulgent inclusion of proof that this man is Lorge. i mean jesus christ just run me over already, i’m begging you

when i said earlier that the only thing better than charlie mcavoy was charlie mcavoy in glasses, i may have failed to take charlie mcavoy in glasses with a santa hat holding a 4ft teddy bear into consideration - my bad. this is very endearing and i am kin with whoever put the heart stickers on this photo 

bahhhhh look at this ridiculous man. who gave him the right to be this handsome in his coat and his glasses and his beanie?? he’s nothing short of amazing and i will not be taking questions on that opinion

(gif via @marchnds) baby! baby boy!!!! if you don’t cherish him i will appear in your room at 4am holding a large wordsearch book which i will use to beat some sense into you

(gif via @davidpastrnut) i included this gif in my top 5 chuckie post, but i love it to the moon and back, and this is my blog dammit, so i’m putting it in again. i cannot explain why but something about this is so goddamn cute it makes my heart do things and i just adore this boy and his backward cap and shitty beard so fuckin much okay

this is the cryptid i see in the corner of my room when i wake up with sleep paralysis in the middle of the night

looks like he has no idea what’s going on here and like,, me the fuck neither charlie

(this is an elusive gif that i can find no real source for despite trawling through tumblr for 20 minutes. google just says it’s from giphy. if it’s yours please hmu)

there it is folks!! the smile that brightens my day no matter what!!!! charlie really does have the most infectious of smiles though, you just love to see it (at least, i do) i am desperately hoping we make a move to keep him in boston this offseason. because, even with my emotional attachments aside, i think he is going to go on to do incredible things with his career, and i totally agree with people saying they think he’ll be wearing the C someday. i mean just look at what he’s already achieved by the age of 21 for christ sakes 

lmao 

(gif via @i-hate-hockey) i literally never want to see chuckie sad. ever. he is perfect in every way always. also what’s his skincare routine holy moly

(gif via @gaudreau) stunning!!!! magical!!!! ravishing!!!!! handsome!!!! gorgeous!!!! divine!!!!! and so much more! this whole interview with him is just delightful, tbh i always find his media stuff v enjoyable. he gives really genuine answers (not that other people don’t but like,, maybe he’s just young enough to not have had to revert to cliches constantly because he’s answered every question before idk), and i think his personality comes across well. he seems like a very fine young man

#ISaidYes

this is literally just every hockey player trying to use all 3 of their brain cells to come up with a sentence that doesn’t include ‘chip it in’ or ‘get pucks deep’. not that i can hold it against any of them, i only have 2 brain cells, and i use both of them for loving charlie mcavoy. his expression makes me laugh but i mostly included this because that suit he wore to the nhl media day is my favourite thing on the planet, and i’m glad there is so much content of him wearing it

tl;dr - op loves charlie mcavoy. thank you once again to @softboybradenholtby :)) as mentioned, i am taking requests for more of these, although i’m currently sitting on 5 or 6 in my inbox so it might take a while - feel free to keep em coming though!