#I have to reason to think the same won’t happen there
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pt 2 of steve "dies but doesn't stay dead" harrington and eddie "ferryman of the river styx" munson // 1.9k // pt 1 ♡
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november 1984
Eddie checks. Of course he checks. Asks around, eventually to his superiors to make sure he wasn’t going to get in trouble for not collecting Steve. It’s uncommon, they tell him, rare, even. But not unheard of. People die briefly and come back to life. Usually only the one time. The answer should be good enough. Should be. Isn’t though. It frustrates Eddie to no end. Months of wondering and ruminating with the firm belief that he won’t get to see Harrington again anytime soon to ask.
He doesn’t have to wait long.
This time Eddie is on the boat. Leaning over the edge, a hand dangling low to the black water, staring at the same patch of grass he first saw Steve sitting. In fairness, all souls appeared in that general area. But Eddie is fixated on the exact spot Steve had shown off his deep chest wounds. It’s for this reason that Eddie jumps three feet into the air when Steve materialises in the same spot again less than a year later.
Sitting up with a rattling gasp and a look of fury on his bashed-in face—again?! Eddie briefly thinks—Steve yells, “Fucking Hargrove!”
“Christ, Harrington!” Eddie shouts, hand over his chest despite the distinct lack of heartbeat. “Could give a guy a bit of warning.”
Steve looks around, eyes surrounded by more dark bruising taking a second to focus on Eddie, chest heaving as he calms down. “Shit, sorry, man.”
They just look at each other for a few long moments, Eddie standing like a frightened cat on his still wobbling boat. He clears his throat to break the silence. “Who, uh. Who’s Hargrove?”
Scoffing, Steve drags a hand down the side of his face, then winces as it passes over bruising. “Douchebag new guy.” He sighs, settling his forearms on his knees. “His sister is friends with some kids I know. Was coming after them, so I…” Trailing off, Steve gestures to his face.
“What? Offered yourself up as a human punching bag and got yourself killed? Again?” Eddie says, trying not to sound too judgemental.
“Yeah, well,” Steve sighs. “I wasn’t just gonna let him beat up a kid. They’ve been through enough without some dickhead coming in and kicking the shit out of them.”
Eddie feels his brows pull together slightly as he sits back down on the bench of the boat, arms crossed over the edge. It’s not like Harrington was the big bully of Hawkins High, but defender of local kids is… new. “Sounds like a grade-A asshole.”
Steve snorts. “He is.”
“Kids were lucky to have you around as their… babysitter?” Eddie offers, cracking a grin.
Steve rolls his eyes, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “Something like that. Probably didn’t need me at all. Stuck around long enough to see her drug him, so they should be fine.”
Humming appreciatively, a thought moves across Eddie’s mind, and he can’t help himself. “…No monsters this time?”
“Ha, ha,” Steve rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I know you don’t believe me, but the monsters did actually come back, which is why I was with those little shits in the first place.” He sounds annoyed, but there’s a fond look behind those bruised eyes. One that gives Eddie a little spark in his chest. “But no, this death was just a regular guy.”
It’s Eddie’s turn to snort. “This death. So casual.”
A full grin breaks out on Steve’s face, contrasting heavily with the bruises and the blood under his nose. “Well, when it’s happened this many times, kinda hard not to view it as like. Just this thing that happens, y’know?”
Eddie doesn’t really know. Of everything he’s learnt about death—through his own and through everyone he’s met since—this thing Steve goes through is beyond him. Incomprehensible. He nods anyway.
“How many times have you died, Harrington?”
“Hmm…” Steve looks up as he thinks for a moment. “This would be… five? Or six?” He shrugs. “I’m not sure if it happened when I was a baby.”
He says it so casually, so matter-of-fact, Eddie almost wants to double-take. It sounds so truthful, he struggles to not believe him. Even though Eddie knows he’s not losing much by believing him, a small part of him still has doubts. And worries for his job. “You gonna get in the boat this time?”
Steve snorts. “Not this time, buddy.” Something jolts in Eddie’s chest at the familiarity. “Maybe next time though.”
“Next time,” Eddie mutters under his breath, shaking his head. “You anticipate dying again?”
“Well, no,” Steve chuckles. “But based on how things have been… and apparently I’m not too careful.” He gestures at his bruised up face, eyes bright with humour between the blues and purples and reds.
“The monsters?” Eddie supplies, just teetering on the edge of sarcasm.
“Monsters, douchebag guys, car wrecks… you just never know.”
The casual tone in which Steve talks about his deaths still has Eddie reeling. It’s been well over a year and Eddie is surrounded by death constantly, and he still struggles to think about his own. Tells himself he’d rather not dwell, which is true, but it also hurts. He shakes it off, shifting his focus to the bruised and beaten boy in front of him.
“Or… you could save yourself the trouble, and get in the boat now?” Eddie gestures down at his boat with a little hand flair. He’s joking. Mostly. If Steve did have the chance to go back to the land of the living, Eddie didn’t want to take that away from him. Not that he thought Steve was getting that chance. Not completely, anyway.
“Wish I could, but I don’t make the rules.” Steve grins at him, like they’re sharing a secret. And they kind of were. Eddie wasn’t sure how many people knew about Steve’s semi-regular dances with death.
“And since when have you ever been one to stick to the rules?” Eddie asks, propping his arm up and resting his chin on his palm. Looking at the boy on the grass. His hair is longer this time.
Steve laughs, head tilted back. “Fair point. But if you want me on that boat, you’re gonna have to come over here and drag me onto it.” He raises a brow at Eddie in challenge.
Eddie rolls his eyes. “Wish I could, but I don’t make the rules.” He repeats Steve’s words back at him, mocking him.
“Well, well, well,” Steve says, tone playful. “Look who’s being a stickler for rules now.”
“I know,” Eddie drags it out, struggling to hold back his smile. “Crazy, huh? Divine punishment for being born the son of a criminal, I guess.” Eddie’s gaze drops down to the black water beneath him.
Steve scoffs at him. “Like you never smoked pot or broke speeding laws in that van of yours.”
Eyes widening before he can stop them, Eddie’s shocked Steve even knows about the van. Shocked that Steve knows anything about him at all. What world is he in where the king of Hawkins High knows about Eddie and his beat up old van? Even being in the grade below him, Steve had a popularity pull that was noticed by those in Eddie’s grade. Confusion and surprise subsiding, Eddie finds himself leaning forward even further.
“Coming from you?” Eddie challenges back. “We all know about the famous Harrington ragers, Mister Keg King.”
The title makes Steve roll his eyes. “Never saw you at one.”
It was true. Eddie hadn’t attended any of the parties, for fear of his reputation making him a target. He drops his gaze again. “Didn’t think I’d be welcome there.”
Steve doesn’t respond, and the silence grows between them. They haven’t moved, but Eddie feels further away from him. Like the weird little familiarity they’d developed was being forcefully shoved apart. Eddie doesn’t look up to see Steve’s reaction. Doesn’t want the pity.
“So, you really can’t get out of the boat?” Steve breaks the silence with a complete topic change.
“Nope,” Eddie responds, popping the P. “She’s my new baby, now that I don’t have my van.” He pats the side of the boat with his free hand.
Steve shifts forward until he’s sitting as close as he can to the water’s edge without getting wet. Close enough for Eddie to see the broken capillaries under his skin and the little green flecks in his eyes. He takes in the cuts on Steve’s jaw and forehead, the two black eyes, the blood under his nose. The way his knuckles are bruised and bloodied to match. Something in Eddie feels oddly… protective. Like he wants to jump in front of anything that might hurt this guy he doesn’t even really know that well.
“Change your mind about getting in the boat?” Eddie asks, voice low, now that Steve is so close.
“No,” Steve huffs a laugh. “But you can’t move, so I figured I should.”
“Just that desperate to be close to me, are you?” It slips out of Eddie’s mouth before he can think about it. And Eddie wants to punch himself in the face over it.
But to his surprise, Steve doesn’t recoil away or yell at him. Instead, he laughs softly, cheeks faintly pink beneath the bruising. “What can I say? The allure of your… baby…” He says it with a smirk. “Very tempting.”
Taken aback by Steve’s… flirting is the only word to describe it, but that can’t be right, Eddie immediately switches to joke mode. He won’t entertain the idea that Steve Harrington was honest-to-god flirting with him. He won’t.
“I’ll get you into this boat one day, Harrington. Mark my words.”
He knocks on the edge of the boat twice before smoothing his hand over the wood. Watches as Steve’s eyes follow his hand, seemingly fixated on it. Eddie briefly wonders what would happen if he touched Steve. Would that commit Steve to being stuck here? Commit him to moving on? Would Eddie even be able to feel him?
Gaze shifting back to Eddie’s face, a smile grows on Steve’s face. “Maybe. One day.” He shrugs, like his eventual death is a fun, whimsical topic.
Eddie is about to comment on Steve’s tone, but before he can, Steve’s head whips to the side, hearing something Eddie can’t. Just like last time.
Unlike last time, Steve doesn’t get up right away. “Looks like my time’s up.”
“How do you know?” Eddie is so curious, he can’t help but ask.
“I can hear—” Steve waves vaguely around his ear. “—stuff. From where I am. The kids are yelling. Hope they’re not too freaked out.”
“Guess you better get back then,” Eddie says, trying to hide his disappointment.
“Yep.” Steve pulls himself up into a standing position, now suddenly looking down at Eddie, who leans back on instinct, shifting back on the boat bench. “But I’ll see you next time.”
“I’ll be here.” Eddie gestures at the boat, palm up. Like he has anywhere else to go. “See ya, Harrington. Stay away from monsters.”
“I’ll try,” Steve laughs, walking backwards on the grass. Keeping his eyes on Eddie as he retreats.
“Try not to get that pretty face bashed in again,” Eddie calls after Steve’s already fading form, grinning wide.
Steve just laughs, the sound of it echoing even after his body disappears from Eddie’s sight.
#ohoho they're BACK my friends!!#i've been working on this between my EMBB fic for funsies#but yes there will be More of this too hehe#more of steve being a morbid little shit and more of eddie wondering what the fuck steve's life is#cira writes#steddie fic#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve x eddie#eddie x steve#stranger things fic#steddie
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His foot taps anxiously against the floor of the flower shop, eyes glazing over the beautiful bouquets and vibrant colors that splash under the fluorescent lights that crackle above his head. The smell of so many flowers is getting into his head, powdery and sweet, but the nausea brewing inside of him is not budging.
He messed up. He knows that.
He also knows he relies on the bet that you’ll accept flowers every time he messes up, which while seldom, happens more than he still would like.
You deserve the utmost love and respect. And he can’t stand that sometimes, he feels like he can’t give it to you and has to hope flowers will be enough for your trust again, like a bandaid on a scraped knee.
After this, he’ll run to the bakery for a pastry, wrapped in a little box, waiting for you to enjoy it-
What is he thinking, countless gifts won’t make up for it, for all he’s done. You’ll never forgive him, each bouquet and each slice of cake when he messes up surely is only driving you away, and he cards a hand through his blonde hair as he has a small, teeny freak out in front of the display.
He looks to the old man next to him who easily picks out a bouquet of assorted flowers with a predominantly purple color story. The old man sniffs them, and smiles, before sighing happily. He turns to Atsumu with small nod, “think she’ll like ‘em?”
Atsumu tenses up before offering the old man a small chuckle, “sure is one of the prettiest bouquets in here,” he encourages, and the man hums as he looks around the boquete for any imperfections in the petals. “She’ll be lucky to have them from ya, yessir.”
The man smiles, “no, son; I’m lucky to have her.” He sighs dreamily, “there isn’t enough bouquets in the world to show her how much she means to me.”
Atsumu freezes. For some reason, unbeknownst to him, a lump forms into his throat at the man’s words. He tries to swallow it thickly, keep his emotions at bay before he wails to this strange man about all the ways he’s hurt you over the years and how always, he’s never been able to fully forgive himself despite you assuring that you do.
This argument would be no different.
Atsumu nods his head in understanding, “I think you might be in the same boat as me,” he says, wondering if this man too, is making up for a mistake he made. If this man is trying to repent, and the first way to do it is to bring her flowers, a symbol of a love he’s determined to keep blooming, keep alive, keep beautiful.
But maybe, just maybe, he’s not relying on the fact that flowers are an apology, perhaps they’re being purchased just because, just to make you smile.
Perhaps Atsumu should start doing that for you. Just something nice.
Something to look forward to.
The man chuckles once more; it’s raspy, like perchance he’s one to indulge in a cigarette when the craving arises, but it’s comforting, and for the first time in hours, Atsumu feels a little more at ease.
“At least we’re in the boat, my friend,” the man says. Atsumu swallows thickly once more, but he flashes the man a comforted smile.
“You’re right. We sure are, sir.”
The man bows at the blonde, “you take care of yourself,” he says simply, before coolly turning to make his way to the registers. Atsumu looks back at the boquetes and grabs one that reminds him of you; bright and pristine, like bubbles on a warm day, a warm blanket at night. Like the movie you can repeat by heart by now, but he’ll still watch with you like it’s the first time.
He smiles, sniffles and blinks the sting in his waterline, thrilled to be in the boat with you.
#atsumu miya#atsumu miya fluff#atsumu miya x reader#atsumu miya x reader fluff#atsumu miya angst#atsumu miya x reader angst#atsumu miya imagine#atsumu miya x gn!reader#atsumu miya haikyuu#miya atsumu#miya atsumu fluff#miya atsumu angst#miya atsumu x reader#miya atsumu x reader fluff#miya atsumu x reader angst#miya atsumu x gn!reader#miya atsumu imagine#miya atsumu haikyuu#haikyuu#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu imagine#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x reader fluff#haikyuu x gn!reader#haikyuu x gender neutral reader#haikyuu x yn#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x y/n
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Election Time (2)
Summary: You thought he was your forever.
Pairing: Senator!Tony Stark x Wife!Reader, Bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: heavy angst, language, wish for a child, betrayal, failed marriage, soft Bucky, pining
Election Time (1)
Election Time masterlist
Bucky’s apartment is far away from your home—or now former home. It looks like he leads a spartan life, with very few comforts and luxuries.
Still, it looks inviting and comfortable to you. There’s almost no decoration but a framed picture of you and him on the artificial fireplace, the “best bodyguard in the universe” trophy, and a plushie you won for him at a fair in his first year of duty.
“I remember that day,” he chuckles. “You didn’t want Tony or me to win a prize for you. He was shocked seeing you rock that water gun.”
“I didn’t think you’d keep it,” you say, and carefully touch the plushie sitting next to the picture frame. You still got the trophy too.”
“It was a gift from you.” Bucky shrugs. “’Cause I kept it. Why would I throw it away?” He stands next to you, dipping his head to watch you play with the diamond ring on your finger. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, I—” you fail to answer him. “Honestly, I don’t know what to say. For the longest time, I felt like I was alone in this marriage. Tony was long gone; I just didn’t want to admit he didn’t want to be with me any longer.”
Bucky runs his hand up and down your back, careful to not touch your shoulder. He offers comfort without saying a word.
“What hurts is the fact that he stayed married to me for his career. Bucky, he conspired with my doctor to make sure I cannot get pregnant.” You sniffle. “I feel so violated. That’s… bodily harm. They robbed me of my baby…”
“Y/N,” he murmurs your name. “Please don’t be mad at me, but—” Bucky bites his tongue. He’s unsure about the question swirling in his mind. “What if you got pregnant and heard all this? Would you still want to have a baby with a man like him?”
You drop your gaze and choke out a sob. No. Tony would make an awful father. All he cares about are his reputation and career. He gives a shit on you, and it would’ve been the same with a child. Maybe the baby would’ve been useful in public, but nothing else.
“No.”
“Let’s not do this right now.” Bucky gives you a cracked smile. “You need a rest, and I need to inform Steve that we didn’t get kidnapped or worse.”
“He will tell Tony.” You grasp for Bucky’s hand. “Please don’t tell him. I can’t face him yet. I don’t want to either. If I had a choice, I’d run to the end of the world and never see him again.”
“Steve won’t tell your husband shit. I’m going to explain the situation.” Bucky softly replies. “I swear, not a single word will leave his lips.”
“What if he’s loyal to Tony, not me or you?” You sniffle. “What will happen?”
Bucky gently takes your hands in his. “Y/N, do you trust me?” He asks.
You look Bucky in the eyes and nod. “I trust you with my life, Bucky.” He holds your gaze and squeezes your hands. “Only you.”
“Good,” he whispers your name and hums. “I trust Steve with my life too. If I tell him to not say a word, he’ll do it without asking questions. All he needs to know is that you’re safe with me.”
“Can I stay the night? I need to think about a few things before facing my husband.” You wipe your wet eyes.
“Hey, hey,” Bucky murmurs when you start to cry again. He wraps you in his arms and allows himself for the first time to hold you for a different reason than protecting you. “You can stay as long as you want to. My place is not as nice as your home, but it’s safe, and I got plums.”
You choke out a laugh. “If you got plums, everything is good. Without them, we wouldn’t have made it.”
Bucky reluctantly lets go of you. He nods at you before saying, “I’ll call Steve now. You should get settled in. I changed the sheets, and there’s a clean flannel and sweatpants on the bed. If you want to stay here for longer, I’ll ask Steve to sneak some of your clothes out of your house.”
“Steve, we got a problem,” Bucky inhales deeply before he tells his best friend since childhood what happened this afternoon. “She cannot go home at the moment. We need to cover her tracks and come up with an excuse.”
Steve immediately reminds Bucky of his duty. He won’t rat you and his friend out, but the head of security can’t do much to cover your disappearance.
People will start asking questions soon—especially your husband.
“You are telling me no one knows about my wife’s whereabouts?” Tony yells at the head of security. Steve doesn’t even bat an eyelash. He keeps a straight face, even though he knows exactly what happened this afternoon.
“Sir, the last we know was that you left her behind after the interview. Most of the security followed you, not your wife. Your orders.” Steve crosses his arms over his chest and glares at Tony. “Maybe she wanted to visit a friend, or the car broke down. It looks like her phone died. A dead battery is no reason to call the police.”
“The cops?” Tony snorts. “You think I want to call the cops only because my wife decided to skip the event? What do you think will happen if I report my wife missing? I can forget about the election!”
“I’m happy to hear that you’re worried about your wife,” Steve coolly replies. “I’ll call Barnes, ask him if he knows something. You should get some rest, Senator. I’ve got this.”
Tony watches the head of security walk out of his office. He squares his jaw. It’s the first time you didn’t accompany him. Something must be wrong, and he fears it could cost him the election.
“Steve got this,” Bucky softly says as if speaking to a scared animal. “He will keep the bloodhounds off our backs for a while. This gives you a little time to think about your next steps.”
You give him a sad smile. While Bucky was talking to Steve and went out for a late-night shopping trip, you already made up your mind. You must face Tony and confront him sooner rather than later.
You just don’t know when you’ll find the strength to look your husband in the eyes and tell him that you know…everything.
“Doll, you got to eat something,” Bucky says. He points at the plate he placed on the coffee table. “I know this is a lot to stomach.”
You look at the plate, smiling because Bucky made you smiley pancakes and cut a plum for you. “You cut a plum for me.”
“Uh—sure.” Bucky looks at the food he made for you. He knows about your habit of eating pancakes whenever you are sad. “I removed the stone and thought it’s better to cut it for you too. You know, because it looks better on the plate.”
“You’re a good cook.” You grin at Bucky. “Thank you. For everything.”
“At your service, doll…” He winks at you. “That’s my job…”
Tags in reblog.
#bucky barnes#tony stark#bucky barnes x reader#bodyguard au#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x female reader#tony stark x wife!reader
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Unpopular Synastry Opinions 💘💓❣️💚💞💖💙💛🖤💗💜💔❤️💕
Disclaimer: This is a long post. If it doesn’t apply, let it fly. These explanations in my perspective resonate most with your Synastry based on the Whole Sign system.
💕 For me, in order to have a romantic connection with someone, their planets must fall into the houses of romance in your chart. If not, it doesn’t mean you won’t have a romantic relationship, but it does suggest that the connection might be more rooted in friendship, familiarity, work, career, or business rather than romance.
🏡The houses of romance are the 5th, 7th, 8th, and 12th houses.
1️⃣ The 1st house in synastry isn’t particularly amazing to me. In fact, I think it can cause more issues than it provides benefits. The reason is that everything becomes tied to the house person’s identity. For example, if your Sun falls in their 1st house, everything revolves around the house person’s sense of self. While there might be attraction and allure, it also creates a dynamic where the focus is heavily on one person. To me, this doesn’t really scream romance as much as it functions as a confidence booster for the house person. I think it works well if there are other connections to the romantic houses (5th, 7th, 8th, or 12th), as the 1st house overlay can complement those by boosting someone’s confidence within the relationship. However, on its own, I don’t see the 1st house as particularly compelling or significant for fostering deep romance.
(My first house falls in the Moon of my ex, and although he always gave me so many compliments, I never felt like I was extending that same energy to him. This can sometimes lead to the planet person feeling used. First house energy can often come across as selfish.)
2️⃣The 2nd house in synastry always points to a business partnership, working on a project, or trying to accomplish a goal together. To me, it is not a romantic house. It’s heavily focused on assets, finances, and values. While some people tend to romanticize it—because that’s part of the allure of synastry and the desire to find romantic connections—it’s ultimately a serious house. This is where you and the other person are likely to focus on discussions about goals, plans for making money, or increasing stability, rather than romance.It’s not a romantic house at all, and it can also be easily afflicted because it deals with sensitive matters like finances and personal values. If the planetary interactions aren’t beneficial, it can become detrimental. Someone’s planets in your 2nd house could mess up your money, disrupt your goals, complicate business ventures, or undermine your responsibilities and stability.
( All the people I’ve met whose planets fell in my second house were people I encountered when I was trying to accomplish something, had a goal in mind, or was driven and focused on achieving that goal. That’s why I believe the second house isn’t really a house of romance—when you meet these people, you’re not necessarily looking for romance; you’re focused on your goals.
For example, I met two people whose planets fell in my second house while I was in cosmetology school, focused on earning my cosmetology license. I also met a guy in college while I was working toward my degree and pursuing education. Another time, I met someone whose planet fell into my second house, and they actually introduced me to someone else whose planet also fell into my second house.
I’ve noticed a consistent theme: most of the time, when you meet people whose planets fall in your second house, it’s in structured environments like work or school. You might meet them while handling finances at the bank or while pursuing a skill or goal in life. These connections often happen when you’re focused on something significant.
However, these relationships can go either way—they may uplift and support you, or they may become a detriment. In my experience, many of these people ended up being more of a detriment than a positive influence, likely because the second house can sometimes be afflicted and easily lean into its negative aspects.)
3️⃣The 3rd house, to me, is best suited for friendships. The reason it works well for friendships is that it fosters a talkative dynamic. With someone’s planets in your 3rd house, you’re likely to have a relationship where you both enjoy talking about your day-to-day lives, sharing what’s going on, gossiping, and having casual chit-chat.This placement often involves doing things together around town, like going to the mall, visiting restaurants, hanging out at bars or clubs, spending time in nature, or attending events. The energy of the 3rd house brings a sense of local community and a hometown vibe. It emphasizes communication, sharing ideas, and bouncing thoughts off one another.Because of this, the 3rd house is ideal for friendships, as it creates a lighthearted, engaging, and socially active connection.
(The third house is another place where you can meet people, particularly in learning environments. This could include retreats, workshops, hobby classes (like candle-making), or even orientations at school or work. Essentially, any setting where learning takes place is a likely spot to meet someone whose planet falls into your third house.
For example, I once met someone whose Ascendant fell into my third house, and what’s interesting is that we met in a communication class in college. I always find that so fitting for third house energy. When we started talking, we really hit it off—we were texting 24/7, chatting constantly, and hanging out frequently. We’d go to local places like restaurants or ice cream shops, which is so typical of third house energy.
Our activities were very local: we’d attend festivals, events, bars, and clubs together. It wasn’t about long-distance travel; it was about enjoying day-to-day life in the same area. We’d gossip, share details about our daily lives, and even FaceTime when one of us went on vacation—she would literally show me her day in real time.
The third house energy also shaped the tone of our conversations. Since her Ascendant was in Aquarius, we often had open-ended discussions about the future, radical ideas, activism, and LGBTQ topics. This placement is fantastic for friendships—it’s the “bestie energy,” where you always want to hang out locally and talk endlessly. It’s the type of connection where you’re constantly saying, “Let’s go anywhere in town and just hang out.”)
4️⃣The 4th house, to me, is not really a good house for romance or friendship. The reason I say this is that for romance, the 4th house is about familiarity, but that familiarity doesn’t always feel good. It can be something like, “Oh, you remind me of home,” but what is home? That’s different for everyone. People come from all sorts of backgrounds, and what feels familiar to one person might be unhealthy. For some, home could mean toxic people, manipulators, narcissists, abusers, or individuals who lack compassion. Navigating the 4th house can be difficult because not everyone has a positive experience with familiarity. This house also focuses a lot on home life, and when it’s negatively afflicted, it can cause tension between you and this person’s family. Their family might not accept you, they could judge you, or it could simply create a dependent relationship. In friendships or romantic relationships, the 4th house can trigger old wounds, leading to feelings of being stuck, codependent, or bogged down.That said, if someone comes from a healthy, nurturing home environment and has a positive background, the 4th house can create a sense of comfort and security, especially if familiarity is what they’re seeking. However, most people are often looking for something different than their family or roots when they seek a partner or even a friend. They want something new and different. So, for many, the 4th house can be an afflicted house.
(In my experience with people whose planets fell into my fourth house, the relationship always felt like I already knew them. With fourth house energy, there’s this overwhelming sense of familiarity—you feel like you’ve met this person before, or they remind you of someone from your family or home life. It’s almost as if they embody the essence of your upbringing, and that familiarity can create an instant connection.
When you meet someone with planets in your fourth house, they might remind you of your family or your home life, making it feel like you can understand them easily. There’s a sense of relating to them on a deep level because they reflect so much of what you’ve already experienced.
However, what I don’t like about fourth house energy is how it mirrors so much of your home life and your past. The relationship tends to reflect your prior experiences, including your upbringing and relationships within your family. If your home life wasn’t healthy or was filled with challenges, this can be incredibly triggering.
For example, I grew up dealing with manipulation at home, and I met someone whose personal planet fell into my fourth house who was also very manipulative. Another person with this placement was extremely emotional, which mirrored the highly emotional environment I grew up in. Like me, this person had also grown up in an emotionally destabilized home and dealt with similar abuses. Relationships like these can create a trauma bond because you’re connecting over shared wounds and struggles from your past.
Of course, if you had a healthy and happy home life, this dynamic might feel completely different and positive. But when that’s not the case, it can feel overwhelming and even draining. Most of the fourth house relationships I’ve been in have felt familiar and similar to me, but that similarity wasn’t always a good thing. At times, it felt like it hindered the relationship because it didn’t foster growth or bring anything new to the table.
The fourth house energy often brings relationships that reflect what you’re used to. But I think most people, myself included, are usually looking for something different—something outside of their comfort zone and past experiences. Fourth house relationships tend to repeat patterns from the past or bring people who are too similar to you.
For instance, I tend to avoid confrontation when I have issues, and I can be quite passive. I met someone whose planet fell into my fourth house, and they were exactly the same way. Instead of addressing problems, they just blocked me, which is something I’ve been guilty of doing as well.
People whose planets fall into your fourth house can act like a mirror, reflecting your past or your unresolved issues. They can be so similar to you that it becomes difficult to grow or create the kind of relationship you truly want. These relationships often feel like they have unresolved tension or lingering issues, and they don’t always foster a deep or fulfilling connection.)
5️⃣ To me, the 5th house is all about romance. Some people often talk about how the 5th house is fleeting, but you have to understand that they only attribute that perception because they’re projecting their own idea of romance onto the 5th house. The 5th house represents the type of romance you see in the movies, where someone gives you flowers, shows up for dates, writes love letters, and you’re going to different places together, enjoying time with each other. It’s the kind of romance where you’re so in love and captivated with one another, always wanting to be around each other, bringing each other happiness. You smile more when you’re together, and life just feels better because you’re doing things you love, inspired by the other person. The 5th house is a deeply romantic house. I don’t fall into the trap of thinking, “Oh, it’s not long-lasting.” I think people often say that because they’re projecting their own idea of romance onto it. But the 5th house brings that idealized, cheesy romance—the kind where you write each other love letters, poems, or even sing to each other. It’s giving gifts, roses, and all the Pinterest-worthy relationship moments. That’s the energy the 5th house brings.When you see an artsy couple painting together, that’s 5th house energy. When you see a couple who’s always laughing, giggling, and having fun, that’s 5th house energy. And when you see a couple who can’t keep their hands off each other, always touching and feeling on each other, that’s 5th house energy too. It’s a house that brings a fun, playful, and passionate vibe to relationships.
( The people whose personal planets fall in my fifth house always make everything feel like a fun time, where the focus is really just on fun, romance, and romantic things. Even with my sister, whose personal planet falls in my fifth house, we are really close. She’s done so many romantic things for me, like giving me romantic gifts, and we’re affectionate with each other. We write each other long paragraphs, compliment each other, and do fun things together. We try out hobbies like planting plants, doing artwork, and doing makeup together. We just have so much fun—we laugh together and always watch these dramatic shows, which is such fifth house energy.
Even in friendships, the fifth house energy makes things so enjoyable. You’re always going out to eat, doing things that make you laugh, and creating memories together. You’re really loyal to each other and don’t want that loyalty to ever break. You go on a lot of dates and genuinely have fun. My ex, whose personal planet also fell into my fifth house, and I did the same things. We’d go to Dave & Buster’s to have fun, ride scooters all around town, and spend hours on FaceTime joking and laughing. We’d go out to eat together, enjoying food, and listen to music together. We wanted to start things together like hobbies. He’d write me love letters, send me paragraphs expressing his love, and dedicate songs to me. We had songs that were “ours.” He’d get me flowers and buy me gifts, things he didn’t do for other girls. He was so deeply in love with me and wanted to do all the cheesy and romantic things.
Fifth house energy is truly needed—it makes you feel so attracted to each other. You just appreciate each other so much, and giving gifts, compliments, and doing romantic things comes effortlessly. Even in friendships, you’re always ready to have a good time. You really become besties because you enjoy each other that much.)
6️⃣Again, I know a lot of people romanticize certain houses, but the 6th house is not one to romanticize. The 6th house is a boring house. It is not about romance. I think it’s a good house to have in your relationship with your parents. If you have a parent with a 6th house placement, it can make them a great, responsible parent to you. The 6th house handles day-to-day routines, work, goals, projects, responsibilities, and health. So, yes, if you have a relationship with your parent that involves the 6th house, that’s fine.However, you don’t want to have a friendship in the 6th house. It leads to a boring friendship—one that you probably have because you work together or attend school together. It’s a friendship that’s likely to fizzle out because, outside of the goal or task you’re working on, it lacks depth and becomes dull. It also requires a lot of work. With a parent and child, the 6th house is somewhat inevitable because parenting is a lot of work. But in a friendship or romantic relationship, if it requires too much work, it can cause strain. It can make you feel miserable, as if there’s no romance in the relationship.There’s also a level of service and duty in the 6th house. You might even feel obligated to the other person. That’s why I said the 6th house is best for parent-child relationships. In that dynamic, you’re more likely to feel obligated, but in a friendship or romance, it can feel burdensome.
(The sixth house is really a boring placement for me. I know a couple of people whose personal planets fall into my sixth house, and there’s always this sense of boredom. I feel like they’re boring, and I want more fun, adventure, and excitement, but they just can’t provide that for me. That’s what the sixth house is—it has a very dry energy, and it often comes with a feeling of obligation and work. You might feel obligated to these people, even if you genuinely don’t want to do things with them. You might still feel like, “Oh, I just have to do this for this person,” or, “Let me just suck it up and go hang out with them,” because that’s the energy they bring.
One thing I’ve noticed is that there are often really boring periods in the relationship where nothing exciting is happening. All your hangouts feel really dry—maybe you don’t have much to talk about or share. You’re only talking about your job or your goals, and there’s nothing else you’re really discussing. People with a sixth house placement will talk a lot about work, responsibilities, and their goals. There’s rarely any deep or fun conversation. A lot of these people focus on education or other serious topics, which adds to the boring feel.
Also, with sixth house energy, these are the kind of people who might give you only what they can offer, rather than meeting your expectations. You might expect more romance, fun, or excitement, but they’ll just give you, “Oh, let’s hang out and do this,” and nothing else is really planned. I had one person whose personal planet fell in my sixth house, and they were so boring to talk to—it was just a snooze fest. Another person, I always felt like I never had fun around them. Everything just felt dry. Communication can be deep in some aspects, but I feel like a lot of what they want to do is super boring and routine. They really just want to stick to their routine, and that’s what I don’t like about people whose personal planets fall into your sixth house—they’re unwilling to break out of their routine. You have to adjust to their routine, and if it’s someone in your family, you’re going to feel heavily obligated to them. You may not even care to be around them, but you still feel like you have to stick around and do things for them.)
7️⃣ The seventh house represents the quintessential romance that we are told about—opposites attract, and you find someone who completes you. The whole idea of the seventh house is that you meet someone who complements you, someone who makes you feel loved and makes everything in your life more meaningful. The seventh house is about opposites attracting. You come to this earth with only a certain amount of traits, attributes, or space for yourself, and then you find a partner who completes that picture for you. So, the seventh house is all about finding a soulmate. To me, the seventh house really indicates soulmate energy—the energy of your other half, the energy of what we could even call a twin flame. That’s the energy I get from the seventh house.For example, if you’re an Aries Rising, the seventh house would be Libra for you. In saying that, the seventh house is Libra for you, meaning Aries holds a certain energy opposite to Libra, and Libra holds a certain energy opposite to Aries. When they come together, they almost become complementary. The passive and the assertive unite to create a wholesome picture.When you think about the seventh house, you think about people bringing different qualities. You think about Libra bringing the romance, flowers, and all the beautiful romantic things. You think about Aries as the provider, the protector, the person who takes care of the house, makes sure the bills are paid, and makes decisions. It’s a traditional type of relationship that you get with the seventh house.For some people, they prefer the romance of the fifth house, but I would say the seventh house is more about a traditional relationship. It’s where the woman is more submissive and the man takes on the role of the head or the leader of the house. The seventh house energy suggests that we have roles that we’re assigned and we play, and that’s how we navigate our relationship. The seventh house is about courtship—the person you’re with courts you. It follows the traditional steps, like courting, proposing, getting married, and living happily ever after.
(People forget that your 7th house is based on your rising sign, not your sun sign. A lot of people will say, “Oh, I couldn’t go with this type of person based on their sun sign,” but it’s based on your rising. Every person I’ve met whose personal planet fell into my 7th house has had a crush on me. They’ve been interested, thought I was attractive, and enjoyed our conversations. I’ve had two people whose planets fell into my 7th house, and yes, they did find me attractive, but at the same time, they got really into me when we were talking. Just being able to have discussions with me drew them in even more. I feel like a lot of them thought I was the perfect person for them or the “good girl” for them.
I feel like 7th house energy represents someone feeling like you’re the right person for them. With friendships, it’s that type of bond where the other person really understands you. I had someone whose personal planet fell into my 7th house, and I felt like they truly understood me. They easily grasped my perspective, and I also felt like they were my vibe. I like to talk a lot, and they liked to talk a lot too—we just clicked.
7th house friendships can be really fun. Every time someone I’m around lands in my 7th house with any planet, they always want to talk to me. They get curious about me, feel like I’m a good person, and are drawn to the positive elements of me. I feel like people with a personal planet in my 7th house really like me. That’s what you often get—an affinity for you, even if you’re just friends. If you’re in a relationship, they always kind of like you. Even if you’re different, they’re interested in those differences. They don’t shy away from them; in fact, the differences pull them in. )
8️⃣Unlike the 5th and 7th houses—where the 5th house represents cheesy, romantic, fun couple goals, and the 7th house represents the traditional couple that leads to marriage—the 8th house represents the deep couple. Imagine a couple that has long, meaningful conversations, getting to know each other on a level most others don’t, where they can read each other’s minds and pick up on cues without speaking.Imagine a relationship where you can have tantric intimacy, or where just being around each other creates a sense of arousal. Picture a bond so strong that you feel like a ride-or-die partner, with unshakable loyalty to the deepest degree. No matter what happens, you remain devoted to this person, willing to go through thick and thin, hell and high waters, as long as you’re together. This is the type of person you would fight for—literally. It’s the kind of relationship where you protect your partner to the highest degree, never allowing anyone to disrespect them. That’s 8th house energy.The 8th house energy is staying up late, talking for hours about each other’s lives, bonding over past experiences, traumas, fears, and the most vulnerable parts of yourselves. It’s the kind of relationship where you can stare into each other’s eyes and see straight into each other’s souls. This type of relationship teaches you so much about yourself, both inside and outside the bedroom. It’s a bond where you trust your partner so deeply that you share things with them you wouldn’t with anyone else—your secrets, your money, your entire self.The 8th house energy is not for everyone, just as 7th house energy isn’t for everyone. The 8th house demands a level of depth, vulnerability, rawness, authenticity, and intimacy that touches every aspect of the relationship. It’s not a surface-level bond. It’s not the type of relationship you post about online for the aesthetic. Instead, it’s the type where you pour your heart out, writing five-page letters detailing every reason you love this person.The 8th house energy can feel so intertwined that when your partner goes through something, it feels like you’re going through it too. At times, the intensity can become overwhelming, leading to moments when you feel the need to take a step back and catch your breath. These relationships often experience heated arguments and deeply emotional highs and lows. Yet, despite the challenges, this is the type of relationship that fosters immense growth. It’s the ultimate catalyst for personal and relational evolution.
(Be prepared for deep bonds when someone’s personal planets are in your eighth house. Every person I’ve had dealings with whose personal planet is in my eighth house has resulted in a deep relationship. Usually, what happens is that if you’re dealing with someone of a gender you’re attracted to, there’s automatically a lot of focus on intimacy. That comes to the forefront, and it’s something that isn’t always talked about, but the eighth house brings up raw, primal energy—those suppressed desires. When you’re around that person, you just really want to unleash them. It also gives you this perspective of navigating intense emotions and channeling them into physical intimacy.
With friendships, the relationships are very deep, with a lot of loyalty. You can easily talk about deep topics quickly, often diving into trauma bonding. You discuss your fears and vulnerabilities, and you may feel more open to talk about things you normally wouldn’t. But with other people, especially in romantic dynamics, the eighth house energy can also be fearful and uncertain. You may not know if you can trust the person, and sometimes those bonds never fully develop because there’s a lack of trust. Trust issues often arise with eighth house energy.
I’ve had eighth house energy with people where I could talk to them on the phone for hours. With this energy, when you’re around them, you can feel their emotions. It creates an empathetic bond, especially depending on the sign it’s in. I’ve also noticed that eighth house energy prompts you to confront your trauma or unpack your issues. So, a lot of talking about personal struggles, trauma, and vulnerabilities happens. It creates a very ride-or-die relationship—you might hate the person one minute and love them the next, but there’s a loyalty that remains. It’s a very passionate relationship, and there’s a lot of passion shared between you.
What I’ve noticed in eighth house relationships is that they often go through cycles. You may be super close, then fall off, and then come back together. You’ll never really forget someone whose planet falls in your eighth house, or vice versa. They’re the type of person you think about deeply, even if things are no longer happening. These relationships can get overwhelming at times, and you may need space from each other. At some point, stepping back from the situation is necessary. Money often comes into play with eighth house energy—either the person doesn’t want to spend on you, they’re going through a financial crisis, you need money, or you end up loaning them money. Money is always somehow tied to eighth house relationships.)
9️⃣The 9th house is not typically seen as an ideal house to share with someone in a relationship. It often represents distance, usually physical distance. Whether the relationship is with a family member, a friend, or a lover, there’s likely to be some physical separation involved. At some point, you may find yourselves apart due to opportunities for personal growth, education, or differing life paths—such as one person moving to a new city while the other stays behind. This distance can create challenges and make the relationship feel tricky to navigate.Another aspect of 9th house relationships is the potential for arguments and conflicts, especially when it comes to philosophies, beliefs, and education. Everyone has their own perspective, and if these perspectives clash, it can lead to constant disagreements. For example, if you and the other person have opposing beliefs, the relationship may turn into a cycle of asserting your viewpoints without finding common ground. This might look like one person being Christian and the other Muslim, which can create difficulties in navigating shared values. Or it could be a dynamic where one person is highly spiritual while the other is deeply religious, like a mother forcing religion on a child who leans more toward spirituality. In romantic relationships, differing beliefs can also show up in lifestyle choices, such as one partner favoring traditional provider roles while the other prefers a 50-50 partnership. These clashes over philosophies can make the relationship feel strained. However, if both people share similar beliefs, the 9th house energy can foster open discussions, thoughtful debates, and mutual growth. It becomes a space for diving deep into shared values, exploring ideas, and expanding together. This mutual understanding can make the energy of the 9th house productive and rewarding. The challenges of the 9th house also include the physical distance that often arises. Travel may be necessary to see each other, and the lack of physical closeness can take away from the intimacy of the relationship. Additionally, the 9th house often focuses on growth and expansion, which can mean that personal journeys take precedence over the relationship itself. One person may prioritize their personal development or career, while the other might not, creating a mismatch in priorities.In summary, while the 9th house can provide opportunities for intellectual growth and shared exploration when beliefs align, it often comes with challenges like physical distance, differing philosophies, and an emphasis on individual journeys over the relationship. In my personal perspective, it’s not the easiest placement for building a strong, intimate connection.
(I’ve had two relationships with people whose personal planets fell in my ninth house, and what I can tell you is that, at some point, there’s going to be distance. At some point, it’s going to be long distance, and you’ll have to decide which path you want to go on: do you want to stay together, or are you growing apart? Ninth house energy often leads to relationships where you just grow apart. You get together initially, share common philosophies, outlooks, perspectives, and beliefs, but then you grow apart as you’re on different paths, and it no longer aligns.
In both of those relationships, there were clearly two different belief systems, and I feel like that’s usually what happens with ninth house placements. It typically means that you come from two different backgrounds. For the first person, I wasn’t religious, but they were. For the second person, we had different upbringings—I grew up in apartments with both parents, and they grew up in a house with a single mother. Just two different lifestyles. Both of these people had different beliefs from mine, and it created a lot of tension because we had conflicting belief systems and perspectives. That was a big struggle for me.
Ninth house relationships can sometimes feel like you’re longing for something you’re not getting. You’re yearning for something, and it’s more about hope than reality. Another thing I’ve noticed in ninth house relationships is that they tend to occur when you’re going through a period of growth, challenges, or transition—when you’re moving on to the next chapter. You often meet these people when you need someone to pull you out of your circumstances or give you a new perspective. You might meet them when you’re more closed-minded, struggling, or isolated. But what I’ve found is that these relationships are often meant to help you in the moment, and then, at some point, you break up and move on because they don’t last forever, on and off again relationship)
1️⃣0️⃣To me, the 10th house is not a good house for anything other than work. It functions well in a professional setting because, in the workplace, there’s an inherent understanding and acceptance of authority. You expect to have a manager, boss, or supervisor—someone above you in the hierarchy, such as a CEO. Even if you dislike your manager or supervisor, you generally respect the roles and the structure. This hierarchy makes sense in the context of work, but when it comes to friendships and romantic relationships, the dynamics become trickier. The 10th house works better in a parent-child relationship. For example, having a 10th house placement with your mother or father can be beneficial. They can provide structure, guidance, and support in making decisions about your education, career, and other life matters. Parents in this placement can help you build discipline and make strategic choices. However, in any other relationship, particularly romantic or platonic, the 10th house tends to introduce issues like power imbalances, abuse of authority, narcissism, and overly critical or forceful behavior. This house can easily become afflicted and detrimental.In romantic relationships, authority is not a desirable dynamic unless you’re someone who explicitly seeks a traditional structure, such as a woman looking for a man to be the provider, leader, or authority figure. However, in modern times, many people don’t want that kind of dynamic in their relationships, and as a result, 10th house placements in romance often create friction. Additionally, the 10th house focuses heavily on public image—how you’re perceived by the world around you. This can lead to relationships or friendships that look perfect on the surface but are completely different behind closed doors.For example, a romantic couple with 10th house energy might appear polished and ideal to the outside world—they dress well, present themselves as successful, and seem like the “it couple.” But privately, their relationship could be riddled with conflict, domestic violence, or toxicity. Think about Beyoncé and Jay-Z: they were seen as the ultimate power couple, but behind the scenes, they faced challenges that tarnished that perfect image. Similarly, a 10th house friendship might look like two people who are inseparable and deeply connected, but in reality, they talk down to each other, bully one another, or even blackmail each other. The public perception is completely at odds with the truth. When the 10th house energy is working positively, it might involve mutual support to achieve success or maintaining a strong public image together. However, even in its best form, it lacks depth and intimacy. It’s more about external appearances and worldly accomplishments than genuine emotional connection. For this reason, I don’t see the 10th house as conducive to romantic relationships. Its focus on power dynamics, public image, and superficial success often overshadows the qualities that make a partnership meaningful.
(In the relationships I’ve had with people whose personal planets fall in my 10th house, one being a romantic relationship and the other a friendship, I’ve noticed a pattern. The person with the planets in my 10th house often idealizes you for your appearance or public image, even before they get to know you. They might be attracted to you simply because you’re pretty, have a nice style, or present yourself well. It’s not in a dreamy, Piscean way, but more in a superficial, external way—they want to be part of your life because of how you look or what you represent.
For example, the first guy I dated with personal planets in my 10th house thought I was attractive and liked my style, but he focused more on how we looked as a couple and wanted to present a perfect image. He would tell everyone how much he loved me, but behind closed doors, he treated me terribly. He was rude, critical, and even talked to other women. The second guy was similar, but in this case, he made me look good publicly, like we were close friends, but secretly had a crush on me. Eventually, he started expressing his feelings, and everything turned awkward.
What I’ve learned is that 10th house relationships can be very mismatched. What’s presented to the public isn’t always what’s happening behind the scenes. You might look good on the outside, but your relationship could be falling apart, or vice versa. There’s often a disconnect between how things are presented to others and what’s really going on privately.)
1️⃣1️⃣To me, the 11th house is really just a house for friends. It can also work well in parenting, especially as the parent-child relationship evolves and the child gets older. With 11th house energy, a parent might be more accepting, allowing their child to fully embrace who they are. This house also functions well in a work environment, where you’re collaborating with people you respect, find intriguing, and genuinely enjoy being around. That kind of energy makes for a great professional setting. However, when it comes to romantic relationships, the 11th house doesn’t feel romantic to me. Unless you’re looking for something unconventional—like a friends-with-benefits situation, a sneaky link, or a polyamorous relationship such as a thruple—the 11th house is not ideal for romance. This house gives off a vibe of I like being around you, but I don’t want any strings attached. Some people argue that 11th house energy represents “besties to lovers,” but I disagree. Synergy in a romantic relationship is something that typically exists from the beginning and continues throughout the relationship. I don’t believe it starts as friendship and then grows into something deeper. Instead, 11th house relationships often lead to situationships. For example, when someone says, We’ve been talking for three months, but they haven’t brought up commitment, that could be a result of 11th house energy. It tends to avoid true commitment and romance, sticking instead to a friendship-like dynamic. In our modern culture, when you’re dealing with someone you’re physically attracted to, this energy might naturally lead to intimacy, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it will lead to commitment. If you share 11th house placements with someone, it’s important to recognize that the relationship will likely be unconventional. That’s just the nature of the 11th house—it prioritizes friendship and camaraderie over romantic spark.For example, have you ever seen a couple who are so alike in personality that they seem more like friends? They can laugh, goof around, and have a great time together, but imagining them being romantically intimate feels almost impossible because their energy is so platonic. That’s 11th house energy. It’s the type of connection where someone might say, We’re sneaky links; we hang out late at night, but I’m not trying to commit to this long term. Couples with 11th house energy might describe each other as my best friend, not necessarily because they’re deeply in love but because that’s exactly how they view each other—as best friends. This is the person they talk to about everything, the person who gets them like no one else. While that dynamic can be valuable in a relationship, I don’t personally see it as romantic. It feels more like a friendship with an unconventional twist, rather than a deep, lifelong romantic partnership.
( People with personal planets in my 11th house feel like good friends to me. One relationship I had, I felt like it messed up the romantic part because I just wanted to be friends and be intimate whenever we felt like it. That’s the energy the 11th house brings—it’s very friendly.
We shared common interests, like nature, traveling, good food, and psychology. Another person I knew had similar interests, like anime, photography, and activism. I’ve found friendships with 11th house people are easy to develop because we click right away. It’s also the kind of unconventional friendship where the person might be a bit “weird” or have niche interests.
In romantic relationships with 11th house people, I’ve never been able to stay in them. Even when a friend wanted to try a romantic relationship, it felt like we were just better off as friends. The connection felt more like friendship than romance, and that’s how I’ve felt in all 11th house relationships. Even with someone I was in an actual relationship with, it felt more like a friendship than a romance. We shared interests, had fun together, and talked a lot—often through online mediums. I met one person online, and we communicated a lot this way. So, relationships with 11th house people tend to be more about friendship and shared experiences.)
1️⃣2️⃣The 12th house is a controversial house because it represents many things that can easily be misunderstood. It is undeniably a romantic house because all the water houses are inherently romantic. Water represents emotions, depth, and the connections that bond us together through shared emotional experiences. Romance, at its core, is built on emotions—falling in love and staying in love are deeply emotional processes. However, the 12th house can be difficult to navigate because we live in a concrete, practical world. We’re expected to work, go to school, and handle daily responsibilities, which often strips away the romantic energy to begin with. The 12th house is especially challenging because it represents a spiritual kind of love, and many people don’t focus on spirituality in their daily lives. Instead, they’re preoccupied with the practical.Additionally, our cultural ideas about romance—such as courting, dating, talking stages, and following a linear progression to commitment—don’t align with 12th house energy. This energy doesn’t follow those parameters. If you’re looking for a relationship that fits into your physical, practical day-to-day life, 12th house energy might feel out of place or even disruptive. This is why some people with 12th house energy in their relationships may end up having secret affairs. For example, someone who doesn’t have time for romance in their primary relationship might seek out a secret connection to fulfill that desire for something mystical and boundless. The 12th house is a house without boundaries, concreteness, or structure, which can lead to things like secret love affairs or deception. However, people often misunderstand what 12th house energy truly is. It’s a spiritual love, a telepathic connection. It’s when you meet someone and feel like you can read their mind. It’s when you feel an inexplicable familiarity, as though you’ve known them in a past life. It’s soulmate energy, often tied to karmic lessons and spiritual growth. This is the type of love where you might dream about each other before even meeting or have dreams that predict the circumstances of your first encounter. It’s a connection where you feel deeply attuned to one another’s energy, where simply being in each other’s presence feels like entering another dimension. Words often fail to capture the depth of this connection because it’s not a verbal or physical relationship—it’s intuitive and telepathic. This type of bond is reflected in relationships where couples explore spirituality together. They might meditate for hours, burn incense, study astrology, or discuss esoteric topics. It’s a relationship that transcends the physical and focuses on the soul. You see past each other’s flaws and physical appearance, loving the person’s essence unconditionally. In a 12th house relationship, you often want to escape from the world together. This isn’t a connection where you want to be surrounded by crowds or in busy, chaotic environments. Instead, you crave solitude with this person—whether that’s staying at home, retreating to a cabin in the woods, or finding some secluded, peaceful place to be together. Even intimacy in this relationship feels deeper than the physical. It’s about unlocking parts of your subconscious and evolving together. You help each other discover more about yourselves, exploring hidden facets of your being and diving into the depths of your soul. The 12th house often leads to relationships where you avoid focusing on practical matters. Instead, you want to engage in hobbies, dance, play, or simply escape reality together. This avoidance of the practical is what makes the 12th house dangerous for romance—it lacks boundaries and isn’t rooted in the physical world. It’s boundless, spiritual, and open, which can feel both freeing and unsettling. Ultimately, the 12th house is about a love that transcends reality, existing in a realm of its own.
( Relationships where someone’s personal planet falls in my 12th house are really hard to manage. Often, you’re not even prepared for what that relationship brings. I had an ex with their personal planet in my 12th house, and we kept coming together. There was so much between us—he’d walk me to the train station, call me all the time, and we were great with intimacy. But I had intense feelings I couldn’t understand. That’s the thing with 12th house energy—it’s confusing. You can love someone deeply and feel close to them, but sometimes the lines blur, and you can’t figure out how you really feel. The 12th house energy is internal, spiritual, and psychological, not as physical. Sometimes, you feel so close to someone, yet distant at the same time. There’s a lot of weirdness in these relationships. You end up talking about things you’ve never discussed with others, and sometimes you find yourself attracted to the person in a way you’re not used to. You care deeply, but it’s hard to express that care. This energy also requires a lot of alone time. You feel like you can only truly be yourself with each other. When you’re around other people, you act differently. It can be a very private relationship where you don’t share many details about each other or the connection. The relationship just happens, and you keep it to yourselves. There can be weird tension when you’re together, as it feels like you’re picking up on each other’s emotions without knowing how to interpret them. Trust issues often come up, and the energy can feel confusing. In one situation, I literally thought, “This is my soulmate,” but at the same time, I felt the need to get away from him. It’s a confusing, isolated energy. These relationships do best when they exist in their own world, but trying to bring others into it can cause problems. There’s a lot of love and care in 12th house connections, but it’s not always easy for others to understand.)
💜My favorite aspects in synastry are trines and oppositions. The reason I love trines is that they come naturally. There’s nothing you need to do in the relationship to create that element—it simply exists when you’re with this person. It’s like being with your mom, who naturally wants to make food for you, nourish you, and pamper you. You don’t have to ask her every day, “Can you make me food?” She just comes home, whips up a pot, and serves it to you. That’s the energy of a trine—effortless, nurturing, and harmonious. Oppositions, on the other hand, remind me of a defiant child. For example, a child might insist on touching a hot stove despite their parent’s warnings. They’re so set in their thoughts and feelings that they ignore the warning, touch the stove, and get burned. Then the parent says, “I told you so.” Oppositions are about growth. They challenge you to expand your perspective and adapt to new ways of thinking, feeling, and living. For example, a naturally passive person might enter a relationship with someone assertive. While the passive individual may have always “gotten away” with their passivity, this relationship teaches them that they must assert themselves at times. They learn a life lesson through this dynamic. That’s why I appreciate oppositions—they foster personal development and growth.Now, sextiles are not my favorite because they feel underutilized. To me, sextiles are like having a talent or hobby you enjoy, such as digital art. You love creating digital art, but you’re too busy with responsibilities to actually pursue it. A sextile is similar—it’s an energy that doesn’t naturally show up in a relationship unless you consciously decide to activate it. That can be frustrating, especially if life is too chaotic or busy to make use of the potential. You might experience small glimpses of the energy, but it doesn’t fully manifest, leaving you feeling unfulfilled.As for squares, I don’t like them because they feel overly contentious. Squares remind me of a Karen—the type of person you see in viral videos, arguing with strangers in public or refusing to learn, change, or compromise. They’re stuck in their ways, and no amount of reasoning or problem-solving will get through to them. Instead, they escalate situations, creating unnecessary tension and conflict. In a relationship, a square feels like constant resistance, drama, and pushback. It’s exhausting and difficult to navigate, which is why I avoid squares as much as possible.
💚I think it’s important to also look at the aspects and the signs involved. A lot of people might say something like, “Oh, my Venus conjuncts my partner’s Venus!” but overlook the fact that both Venuses are in Gemini. If you’re looking for that romantic, ooey-gooey love story, and your Venuses are conjunct in Gemini, well, it’s not the same as you might expect. Gemini isn’t a traditionally romantic sign. It’s a sign that focuses on duality, intellect, versatility, creativity, and sociability—it’s not centered on romance.If your Venus is conjunct someone else’s Venus, but it’s in a sign that values intellect and versatility over deep emotional connection, what does that mean for your relationship? And more importantly, is that what you want in a relationship? That’s why I don’t place a lot of weight on conjunctions alone. For instance, if your Venus is conjunct someone else’s Venus in Pisces or Cancer, that’s different because those are more emotionally-centered, romantic signs. But if your Venus is conjunct in Aquarius, for example, Aquarius represents innovation, progressiveness, and community. Sure, you both might value free thinking, but that doesn’t necessarily translate to romance.When analyzing a chart, you need to consider the signs, not just the aspects like conjunctions, trines, or sextiles. The signs tell you how the energy of the aspect will manifest. Otherwise, you might enter a relationship thinking, “We have so many romantic aspects!” only to realize that they’re not as romantic as you thought when you dig deeper. For example, let’s say your Mercury is in Aries and your partner’s Mercury is in Libra. This creates an opposition. You might immediately think, “Oh no, we’re going to argue all the time.” And yes, that can be true. Most people don’t know how to navigate relationships, whether interpersonal or romantic, in a healthy way. Many people are still maturing, learning, and, honestly, in need of therapy. So yes, even a single opposition can create tension in your relationship because as a species, we’re not always emotionally evolved enough to handle relationships harmoniously from the start.If you’re naturally fast to speak and your partner is slow and methodical, that opposition will come up again and again in conversations. It’s inevitable. But that doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed—it just means that oppositions highlight areas where growth and compromise are necessary. Relationships are part of our evolutionary process, and most of what we learn about ourselves happens through those challenges. That’s why I don’t believe in a perfect synastry chart. Do I think there are synastry charts that favor romance and foster loving, emotionally deep, and physically intimate relationships? Absolutely. But people often romanticize aspects like “His Venus conjuncts my Venus—he’s my soulmate!” without considering the nuances. For example, if both Venuses are in Leo, you might struggle with pride and ego clashes, constantly feeling like the other person is wrong and you’re right. That kind of energy requires work and self-awareness.In synastry, it’s crucial to acknowledge that as humans, we’re still evolving emotionally. Relationships will inevitably reflect tricky elements from the chart. And no matter how many positive aspects exist, challenging ones like oppositions will have an impact. It’s up to us to decide whether we’re willing to grow through those challenges or not.
💘 Lastly, some people’s charts simply aren’t geared toward romance, so their relationships are going to look a bit different. For instance, there are people with very heavy Earth charts. Earth energy is practical and focused on everyday life, routine, work, and responsibilities—it’s not naturally inclined toward romance. The same applies to Air signs. Air signs prioritize intellect, communication, and social connections over traditional romantic gestures. In contrast, Fire and Water signs tend to be more romantic, at least from my perspective. People with strong Fire and Water placements crave romance. They want the cheesy, heartfelt gestures. They’re drawn to passion, intimacy, and the idea of partnership. Fire and Water individuals often seek traditional or deeply emotional connections. On the other hand, someone with a heavy Air chart might not want a traditional relationship. They may prefer a bond centered on intellectual connection or friendship rather than emotional depth or physical closeness. Similarly, someone with a heavy Earth chart may desire a relationship but also value personal space. They might not be interested in moving in together or merging every aspect of their lives.
💛This is why it’s so important to understand both your own needs and the needs of the other person. For example, I have a water-based chart, so I need that emotional connection. I also have a fire influence, which means I crave passion and excitement. Not everyone is going to need or value the same things in a relationship. Before diving into synastry, it’s helpful to ask the other person questions like:
• Do you care about romance?
• How do you feel about commitment?
• Do you want to get married someday?
• Are you looking for a soulmate?
• How deep do you want love to be in your life?
• In friendships, what do you value most? Hobbies? Going to events? Daily conversations?
These questions can reveal a lot about someone’s priorities and expectations. When you pair that with synastry, it becomes easier to see how a relationship might play out. Sometimes, what people call “unrequited love” is just a mismatch in romantic inclinations. For instance, there’s this growing sentiment that men aren’t courting women as much anymore, but I think a lot of men just aren’t naturally romantic. These might be men who don’t see the value in grand gestures like flowers or serenades. Instead, they express commitment by simply being present or spending time together—but they’re not especially affectionate or expressive. Looking at a person’s chart can give insight into this. If you’re dating someone with the Moon in Aquarius, can you really expect the same level of romanticism as someone with a Moon in Pisces? Or if someone has a Pisces rising, they may approach love with sensitivity and idealism, whereas a Capricorn rising might prioritize pragmatism and stability over emotional expression.I once knew someone who valued friendships far more than romantic relationships. He was mainly interested in physical intimacy and wasn’t emotionally invested in long-term commitments. Understanding these differences is crucial when dating. You need to ask yourself:
• Am I okay with someone who’s more focused on casual connections?
• Or am I looking for a deep, long-term commitment?
Thank you for viewing my post💛👋
#astroblr#astrology#astro notes#astro observations#astro placements#astro community#synastry#love#friends#astro love#astro questions#astro rants#astro reading#astro thoughts#astro posts
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“But Nothing’s working!!”
LOA explained
Pure consciousness explained
Well duh you made that assumption so now nothing is going to work for you. The sad part about this community is most of you are searching for the same thing over and over and over when creators are literally giving you the answers IN their blogs. like what more do you want? Do you want someone to say you need to listen to 432HZ to manifest your goals? that you need to dance in circle and chant 999 times for your desires? No. The Law of assumption is literally always active. like ALWAYS. Everything you assume is going to be put out there because its an assumption.
What really irks me is when people say you have to “gaslight” yourself into thinking you have your desire, which kind of contradicts the whole point of law of assumption, why would you need to gas light yourself if you know you already have it..? yeah.. those two things don’t mix. Let me go over what an assumption is.. which clearly seems so hard for this community to understand.
The Law of Assumption is when you assume something to be true without needing proof.. Why do you lack critical thinking skills when the whole law basically explains what it is.
You don’t get what you want. You get what you decide. Why is the law of assumption being so overly complicated for no reason. None of yall did this with the Law of Attraction so why are you doing this with the Law of Assumption?? This also goes with inducing pure consciousness.. i hate bringing this topic up so much because people will take my words and make it into the world’s hardest problem in history. Imagine one day you DECIDE to induce pure consciousness and you say “hmm okay today i induced pure consciousness instantly! :D” And then imagine you get comfy and just breathe and then you suddenly induce the pure consciousness. wow so easy right? because you didn’t say “i want to induce pure consciousness” instead you said it like it ALREADY happened. Wants and Decisions are very different so keep that in mind.
What is pure consciousness? basically just a state detached from the physical world NO you’re not leaving the physical world, no you’re not teleporting, you’re basically in like a state of where worries don’t exist and you’re your “highest” self.
Clearing up misinformation.
No you don’t have to be in a deep relaxation
No you don’t need subliminals
No you don’t need a “void” routine
No you don’t need sats
No you don’t need to affirm mindlessly throughout the day
No you don’t need to meditate
No you don’t need frequencies
No you don’t need to be lucky
Yes you can swallow
Yes you can move
Yes you can breathe
Yes you can have inner conversations
Yes you can count to 2 billion
No it won’t start over if you sneeze
You’re literally human doing any of these things won’t affect your outcome when inducing pure consciousness. Whoever said you need to be lucky is beyond stupid btw. Whoever said you need symptoms to induce it, is… WRONG!! you are taking pure consciousness and seeing it as the most hardest thing in the world when its not, you literally induce pure consciousness when you’re asleep you’re just unaware because you’re sleeping.
Example putting the sleep state and pure consciousness (they are not the same thing but do have similar remedies). Imagine you’re getting ready to sleep after showering and doing your nightly routine if you have one. Your main goal after all of that is to just basically GO to sleep right? you’re not even worried about how you’re going to go to sleep you’re just going to do it. Now imagine you’re going and inducing pure consciousness what you should mainly be focused on is NOTHING, not time, not what, if, how, it, so, why, then, where. NO! just let go guys..
Just Breathe, its okay you will (WRONG WORD) you already have it all, just live. its okay reminder the 4D is the true reality and the 3D has no choice but to reflect to what is shown in the 4D or what is SAID by you.
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Cuff it 👀
Well, you got me. Forcing me to write the fic I have been joking about for a whole year now. Safe to say this fic requires you to listen to CUFF IT. It's a good song I would love to go roller skating while to one day. The disco vibes beg for the skates. This fic isn't about that. I present a reader that is very horny down bad for Wriothesley while I attempt to keep this humorous and safe for work.
I think it's very obvious there is reference to sexual content. It was very hard to think of ways to keep this sfw considering the lyrical content. I give you the long joked about CUFF IT fic.
Words: 1947 Fem!Reader Modern AU This feels like such a crack fic
Navia spit out her drink as Y/N’s phone began ringing, interrupting the music they had been listening to. “Why is that your ringtone?”
“So you have no complaints about me playing the song, but when it’s my ringtone, there is a complaint?” Y/N asked, still standing on top of the step ladder as she put dishes away in the top cabinet.
“I agree it’s a good song but seriously that's your ringtone?” She asked again.
“I have my reasons. Just answer it for me. You’re closer.” It was easier to just keep shoving cups in the cabinet than to take a break. That box was almost empty.
Navia looked at the call screen. “You have a song about about riding-”
“Just answer!”
Navia swiped answered the call and placed it on speaker for Y/N to listen. “Took you long enough.” Wriothesley’s voice came through the speaker.
“Yeah, we’re putting stuff up still. Navia had to rush to grab my phone. How are you and Clorinde doing with my furniture?” Y/N spoke loud enough to be clear.
“Perfectly strapped down to the rental. We took a detour to pick up some food if you don’t mind.” He continued explaining. “Clorinde said you and Navia were talking about wanting to try out that new restaurant that opened so we just got some stuff from there.”
“Good memory. Navia kept staring at the menu when we were on break.” She told on her friend.
“I’m just curious to see how they make their cakes. It’s my job as a baker to see how other places make the same desserts to see what I can do better.” Navia defended.
“Which is why we made sure to grab some,” Clorinde said, sounding tired from the lifting they had been doing.
“We should take a nice break when y’all get back. We got most of the kitchen unpacked anyway. How long till you’re back?” Y/N asked.
“Five or so minutes. Is the door still open?”
“Yeah.”
“See you soon then,” Wriothesley spoke before hanging up. The music from Y/N’s phone began to play again filling the mostly empty room.
“Is this ringtone my horrible way of finding out you two are dating?” Navia asked now a little in horror at how completely inappropriate Y/N’s taste in ringtones was.
“Nope!” Another shelf had been filled, and on to the next. “But if we were dating I would happily act out said lyrics.”
“That’s too much information.” And Not something Navia even wanted the mental image of.
“If I have to hear about what you would like to do with Clorinde behind closed doors, I think you can deal with the lyrical content of ‘Cuff It’. I mean it’s only bad when you pay attention to the lyrics.”
“I could excuse it if the lyrics were set to the chorus! At least that’s tame in comparison, you might be able to get away with it if he overheard that as your ringtone for him.”
“And Wriothesley won’t hear what I have set as his ringtone. Even then I think everyone knows it’s my favorite song.” Y/N defended herself. She had a few months of this as his ringtone and nothing bad had happened so she must have been in the clear with that silly decision she made late one night updating ringtones for her friends.
“Even then, don’t think on the off chance he hears it there won’t be questions. I mean the lyrics it opens with are ‘Hypersonic, sex erotic’. I think anyone would ask questions.” Navia tried appealing to her sense of reason.
“You know I keep my ringer off most of the time anyway. It only played because I’m connected to a Bluetooth speaker. I'm perfectly fine to keep those lyrics as a ringtone that plays like in a blue moon.”
Navia rubbed the temples of her forehead. If this was what she was like before even making a move on Wriothesley, she was afraid of what would happen if they ever became an item. “What even drove you to set the dirtiest part of the song as his ringtone? Actually, do I even want to know?”
Y/N laughed. “You remember last Halloween when he got forced to dress up? This song just happened to be playing as he was twirling around handcuffs. I can still see the twirls as the song played.” She began singing as the memory played in her head. “Come and cuff it, cuff it, cuff it, cuff it, baby. While I buss it-”
“That better not be why this is your favorite song.” Navia interrupted. “Oh my gosh, is that why you sing that part so loud?”
“The song is two years old and that only happened last year. I've been loving this song. And perhaps. A girl can daydream.”
“Just ask him out instead of being ridiculous. He’s gonna catch that ringtone one day.”
“When you ask out Clorinde! Even then I’m not sure if he would even be open to the idea of going out on a date. If I ask him out it might make things weird between us. I really do like him. More than I just want to sit on him kind of way.” Navia rolled her eyes at that sentence as Y/N continued. “I mean I know he can look scary but he is just such a sweetheart! I mean come on he didn’t have to help me move. Then there was that one time he picked me up cause there was a nail in my tire. Oh, and that day he begged to come over when I was watching my grandma’s puppy.”
“I get it! I just really think you should ask him out. Have you considered maybe he does all those things 'cause he likes you too?” Navia could hear the rental vehicle pull up. “I’m gonna go see what they need help with.”
Y/N frowned at the question Navia had left her on. There was no way she would be pondering such a question when she had a cabinet almost filled and Wriothesly just outside her new home.
Even then there wasn't anything wrong about that song being her ringtone. Plenty of people had ringtones with raunchy lyrics. This one was at least award-winning and it sounded so fun that not everyone even saw how dirty of a song it was. Was there really anything wrong with having the ringtone of the guy she would love to fall in love with to be a song about wanting to ride his dick?
…okay maybe phrasing it like that she could see Navia’s point. Y/N sighed. Guess it was time to change her ringtone for Wriothesley to be something more appropriate. It was a 2 am decision and to be fair, no one ever had good ideas at that hour.
She could hear bags being placed on the counter. “Part of taking a break requires you to get down from there.” Wriothesley was quick to remind her.
“I'm almost done. I'll get down in a bit. No issues with loading anything right?” She asked not wanting to look him in the eye just yet considering her previous thoughts.
“It went well. It was tiring though. Your bed frame was heavier than it looked though.”
“Good thing I have your help then. Actually, could you hand me my phone real quick?” She wanted to see time but also to change the album that was playing.
Wriothesley grabbed the phone for her before walking over. “Yeah, here you go.” There wasn't even a chance to grab the phone before it started ringing. The phone lit up with his name on the screen and a photo of him filling the screen.
Hypersonic, sex erotic On my body, boy, you got it Hit them 'draulics, while I ride it Got me actin' hella thotty So excited, so exotic
Despite the song on her ringtone playing so loudly, the room was just quiet. Navia was right and she was a fool. She felt frozen, unable to move despite the fact she could have easily taken the phone out of his hand.
Wriothesley answered the phone before the song could be played any further. Clorinde’s voice came through the speakers. “Navia and I are going back to the restaurant. They forgot some of your food. Wriothesley’s phone is still with us. Let him know.”
“Will do,” Y/N answered before Clorinde hung up the phone where her music had once again returned to the speakers. “I must set the wrong song as my ringtone for you. Funny mistake right?”
“When I switched phone brands you were the one who kept showing me the different ways to customize it.” Wriothesley reminded her. “You can’t stand on that ladder forever.”
“I feel like it’s better if I do.” The longer she stayed on the ladder, the longer till her feelings had to be rejected.
“Get down.”
It was hard not to frown as she got down from the step ladder. She wouldn’t blame him if he wanted to leave the moment Clorinde and Navia got back with the food and his phone. She didn't dare look him in the eye.
“I know it's one of your favorites and all but I think I'm going to need some more explanation than that of why you have that set as my ringtone.” He was at least kind enough to give her the phone back.
“You're a smart guy. Don't make me. This is embarrassing enough.” Y/N put the phone down on the counter behind her after turning down the volume of music playing. “Just let me down already. It's not like I was ever expecting a chance. It doesn't take a genius to see you weren't interested in any sort of relationship.”
“Who said I was uninterested?”
A rough calloused hand gently moved her chin up forcing her to look Wriothesley in the eyes. “You never acted as you were.” The words came out quiet, still flustered from before.
“It's not like you made it clear before either. Even then when I did try asking you out before, there was always something going on to where you couldn't go. I almost thought you were purposefully trying to avoid me.”
“I would never. I was just busy. I didn't even think you were asking me out.” Her eyes drifted off to the side. “How many times?”
Wriothesley let out a nervous laugh. “I would rather not count that.”
“I can’t believe I’m that oblivious that you won't even tell me how many times. Gosh, I'm stupid.”
“I wouldn’t call you stupid. Just distracted.”
“That doesn't help me feel better.”
“I have an idea what might make you feel better.”
Y/N laughed at herself. “Yeah, crawling under my blankets never to return.”
“Then let me do this before you go.”
The kiss from Wriothesley was gentle, warm, and inviting. Tender yet she could tell how much he wanted it. She didn’t even notice how her arms moved on their own, desperate to pull him closer. There was the faint taste of tea, not surprising with how cold it had been that day.
That was the perfect song to set as her ringtone with it leading to this. The part of her that planned on cursing that restaurant just for being the reason Clorinde had called her was now thanking them for forgetting their food. It was a perfect miracle.
It wasn't for the fact that she was hungry and had a deadline on when to return the rental truck, that door would be locked. It would be best if Navia and Clorinde took their sweet time so she could keep savoring this kiss.
#wriothesley x reader#Wriothesley#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#i fic where i partically roast one of my favorite songs#still can't believe I wrote this
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Chapter 21 - I have never cried so much in my two lives as I do today
Previous chapter / Next chapter
I wiped the tears that rolled down my cheeks, trying incessantly to calm myself, taking several deep breaths so I could speak. I want so much to be able to tell him everything, to all of them. I want to get rid of this weight, but I don’t have the courage to do so, but I know I can’t keep everything to myself.
— I... I’ve been having nightmares. – That was the way I decided to start, at least I should tell that part, after all, it involved them directly. – with the shadow. It started the night I first saw him, and I have reason to believe he’s behind it.
As I spoke, Time remained quiet, understanding, letting me talk at my own pace while rubbing circles on my back in na attempt to calm me down further. My voice was weak and tearful, shameful, I must sound pathetic right now.
— He doesn’t exactly appear in the dream, but it’s always something dark. The second time it happened was when I passed out, but it didn’t seem like a nightmare, until tonight, when I discovered that it was all created by that thing. – I continued, considering how much I could tell him. – He made me dream about my family, to the point of making me think that meeting you had been nothing more than a dream. I think he wanted to trap me in that.
My voice weakened at the thought of it, thinking that that thing used people I love for such a vile reason filled me with anguish. I need to be more honest with him.
— So, that night I had another nightmare. He talked to me, he kept talking about how I shouldn’t be with you guys and... – I took a deep breath – that you would leave me, hate me when you found out the truth.
— The truth about what? – Time asked, his tone seemed intimidating when I knew that the answer to this question could upset him, anger him or even hurt him.
— He threatened to tell my secret, a secret that if you guys found out you would hate me. I’m so sorry, Time, I’m so sorry! I never wanted to keep any secret, I never imagined something like this could happen. – My crying intensified, and I struggled to control the sobs that were hampering my speech. – At first I didn’t know who you guys were, I didn’t trust you completely, I was just a stranger and you would think I was crazy if I said that kind of thing! And as time went by it became even more difficult.
— Calm down, it’s okay. Whatever it is, I will understand, you don’t need to be afraid, we won’t leave you. In these last few days, you’ve managed to become more than just someone we need to protect, my dear. You’ve become part of this group, and we won’t leave you no matter what happens. Whatever it is, we’ll help you get through it.
The Old Man’s words were comforting, even though I still had my doubts about how far he would go to keep this. I don’t know if I’m ready, but I know they need to know, if I keep this to myself any longer, even when Time was so supportive, it would be a reason for them to not trust me, one more reason for them to hate me in the end.
— I want to tell you. I really want to, I need to too, if I find out through the shadows it could be much worse. I don’t know if I can, or you won’t believe me, or you’ll hate me, and both options are bad. – I tried to prepare him before everything, maybe if he knew how bad what I was going to say would be the impact would be better. – But first, there’s a problem. I don’t think I’m in my right mind, I can’t sleep.
— Well, I could tell that, why? Was it because of the threats?
— Yes, but it’s worse. There are not only empty threats in the dreams that await me, if I sleep and he makes me have nightmares again, I might never wake up. Last night, he did something with the dream that made me hurt my ribs... – I said, then I moved to lift my tunic until the purple on my skin was visible. – And today I came across this, in the same place, and there’s no way I could have done it outside of this nightmare.
I tried to read the hero’s expression as I made my point, I couldn’t tell if he believed it or not. But I wouldn’t judge him if he didn’t believe it, it was hard for me to do so. I definitely didn’t expect Time’s normally serious gaze to turn into a melancholic look full of regret, seeing it in his eyes made my heart clench, I felt guilty.
— I’m sorry. – He said, his voice low and weak, and that was definitely not what I expected to hear. Before I could question, the large man beside me pulled me into a warm hug on his lap, squeezing me firmly, but gently so as not to hurt me. – It’s my fault, I should have paid more attention. Your safety is my responsibility, and I relaxed when I thought I would be safe around here. I should have considered all the possibilities, I should have been more cautious, I should have noticed the signs to prevent things from getting that far.
His hug was warm, his warm body against mine was comforting, I had to hold back the emotional tears that filled my eyes. Time was without his armor, which was good, because I don’t think hugging him with that serious thing is that comfortable. I don’t know what made him think he was somehow to blame for all this, but it wasn’t true.
— Please don’t blame yourself. I’m the only one to blame for having kept all this from you for so long. Link, I want to tell you the truth, all of it, and I ask that you please listen to everything before you jump to conclusions. And also, I don’t know if I can do the same for others, but I’ll understand if you think I should, because it’s true. – He shook his head, trying to contradict my pessimistic assumptions, but I just wanted to get this weight off my shoulders. – I had a life before this.
If he found that last sentence strange, he didn’t show it, but he was definitely contemplative. Of course, that alone wouldn’t be enough for him to jump to his own conclusions, but it might be enough for him to think I’m delusional.
— I mean, literally, a past life that I remember clearly. I died and was reincarnated here, in this life, with all the memories, even those of my last moments. That in itself seems crazy, or not so much if you stop to think that you have also been reincarnated, even if you don’t have the memories, you can literally know your past life, I mean. – I interrupted myself, seeing that I was getting away from the focus. – The problem is that in my past life I was from another world. Or rather, another reality, probably. A very different one from here, different countries, kingdoms, culture, technology, races. A place where there is no magic or monsters, where the only rational race is the human being. With round ears, different from the Hylians. Oh, and the goddess Hylia herself or any other deity from here doesn’t exist there either.
I observed his expressions, waiting for any sign that would make me give up. But there was nothing, he seemed to be accepting all of this well, he just waited for me to continue until I got to the point of it all, the secret that I was so afraid to reveal. When he realized that I wasn’t continuing, he decided to say something to calm me down.
— I don’t think that’s crazy, if you want to know. For someone who has traveled through time several times, divided the timeline into three, is the reincarnation of a hero’s spirit and fought the demon king himself, a different reality isn’t that absurd. – He said, trying to comfort me and making me laugh softly in a tearful voice.
— That’s not the big problem, yet. – I sighed, mentally preparing myself for this, and continued. – In my old life, the world was full of technology, after all, we didn’t have any magic to help us. Among these technologies, there was something called video games, games, made to entertain people, telling stories, giving challenges, it was a type of thing that we saw on a screen like the one on the Sheikah slate in Wild and controlled characters with controllers, for fun. And for everyone that’s what it was, games, just that, just stories invented to entertain us.
It was clear he didn’t understand the point of it all, but he remained silent as I continued to explain, trying as best I could to make it all make some sense to him.
— I played several of these games, I loved them, but my favorites were a series of games with a particular story, one that seemed to be complete among them, even though it was possible to play them separately. These games told your story, Link. Yours and the others. Each of you had at least one game of your own, which I played and got to know all of your heroic adventures, from your point of view, I learned things, secrets, that you never told anyone. Not just me, but thousands of other people too. – I stopped, feeling my breathing become nervously uneven. I sighed and continued, not daring to look him in the eyes. – I didn’t know, I had no idea that it was all real. That was so common to me, so everyday, as common as reading a book around here. I didn’t know that everything was real, I didn’t know that you existed, I had no idea who was invading your space, and I definitely didn’t imagine that one day I would meet you! Me- I’m sorry, I acted like they were strangers to me when I knew so many things I shouldn’t have. I acted like I didn’t understand what was happening when I experienced everything from the comfort of my home. It took me a few years to understand everything and come to terms with it when I reincarnated, that everything I played was a fact, and when I did I felt bad about it, but I didn’t think it would go any further. I never thought I would meet them, much less that they would end up becoming such important people to me, to whom I would end up lying like a traitor!
I was already in a state of aesthetic crying again, the hero’s grip tightened around me, bringing me even closer to his body, letting me cry into his chest while rubbing my back in comfort. Even after that, even after I told him all these things, he was still worried about me, about how I was feeling. He should be furious, for being seen as just a story, for being a game, for not telling him. But no, he didn’t show any of that, at least not now.
— Hey, look at me. – His voice was soft as he gently held my chin and lifted it so I could look him in the eyes, but I looked away, unable to bear the weight of the guilt. He just wiped away the tears that were running down his face. – It’s okay, I believe you. I really do. And I’m not mad.
— You’re not? – I couldn’t be more perplexed.
— Of course not, dear. You’re not to blame for anything in this story. It would be the same as blaming someone for reading a book, wouldn’t it? To you, we were just characters like so many others, just like the ones in books I’ve read, and who’s to say they’re not real too? Maybe they’re in another reality, if this happened to you it can happen to anyone, and that doesn’t make you a bad person. – His words hit me like a wave of relief and doubt at the same time, making me cry horribly more, but this time, my crying was much more associated with how relieved I was by this reaction coming from him.
— But I kept this secret, shouldn’t you be mad at me for it? – Of course I didn’t want him to be, but I had to be sure.
— No, I understand you, in your situation I might never tell anyone. You were brave and selfless, you had your home destroyed, you were forced to join us, knowing full well what our enemy is capable of. You didn’t use any of your knowledge against us and you were always empathetic. That in itself shows what a good person you are. – Even with those words that warmed my heart, I still felt guilty. – You made the best choice, I don’t think it would have been wise to tell you this when we first met, and it’s totally fair that you were afraid. Please, don’t blame yourself.
— Link, I’m so sorry... – His look was enough to make me stop with that sentence, I was blaming myself again. – But I want you to know that you are all very special to me, and that was the reason I avoided telling you the truth so much. I don’t know what I would do if they hated me, but I couldn’t blame them. But I don’t know if I’m ready to tell others either.
— I understand, you don’t have to, not now. I also think it’s better to wait, we have other things to deal with now. I don’t think they’ll react badly, but it’s a lot to process, and right now I’d prefer for them to focus on the mission. – He ran his hand through my hair as he spoke, trying to calm the rest of the crying that was still left. – Don’t worry about them getting upset about keeping this to yourself either, I’ll tell them it was my idea.
That was good enough for me, I was able to calm down and think better about it all. In the end, I think I should thank that shadow for something, if it weren’t for his threat maybe I would have taken much longer to reveal this and things could have been much worse. I’m grateful to have Time’s support now, a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I wouldn’t be able to show him my gratitude with words, but maybe with actions it will become easier. I grabbed the big man in a tight hug. It was a little difficult, he was quite big to hug, but man, what a good hug. He wrapped his arms around my back, returning the hug warmly.
— Thank you, really. I don’t know what I would do without you. – My voice was muffled because my face was against his body.
— It’s okay, honey, I’m here, and I’ll make sure that shadow doesn’t hurt you, ever again. – I felt his grip tighten, protectively. – So, you’re technically older mentally than physically, right?
— Hm? Oh, well, yes, I must be twice as old mentally. Why?
— Nothing, I was just curious, but that kind of makes sense. – He said, laughing softly. – Now, you should sleep.
— Oh, I’m exhausted. I don’t know how I’m saying it yet. But I can’t...
— Yes, you can, don’t worry about it, I’ll stay here with you, I won’t let anything happen, and I’ll wake you up if you have another nightmare. – He said, pushing me away so he could look me in the eyes.
— What? But then you won’t get any rest! – I complained, I’m not willing to rest at the expense of others.
— It’s okay, seriously. I’m used to it, and I can sleep in the morning, it’s good to enjoy it while we’re still in Skyloft.
I sighed, too tired to argue with this. The empathetic part of my brain said it wasn’t right, but everything else was begging for a long nap. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all, at least I was willing to give it a try. Before I could agree, Time picked me up with impressive ease and stood up, able to put me down on the bed properly for the night.
— Hey, what’s up? It wasn’t necessary.
— Yeah, it wasn’t necessary, but I wanted to.
Sometimes this grown man could be very childish when he wanted to be. I like that. He laid me down on the bed and covered me with the blanket, pulling the armchair in the room closer so he could stay there during the night. He kept only a flickering light from the lamp on, so he could continue reading a book and avoid accidentally falling asleep. Then he finally approached me, placing a soft kiss on my forehead.
— Good night, my dear, have sweet dreams and rest. I’m here for you.
With that, it didn’t take long for me to lose consciousness and fall into the dream world I had been waiting for, dreaming, for some reason, of muscular blonds who carry me in their arms wherever I want to go.
#link x reader#linked universe x reader#linked universe#lu x reader#tloz#legend of zelda#linked universe fanfic#x reader#lu chain
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Looking forward to reading all of the tidbits from the dev q&a today. I will not be following live because
1) I will be at work. Where I talk to people and can’t look at my phone.
2) Discords are tricky for me at the best of times and I’m not touching the DA discord drama that I know will happen with a 10 foot pole. No thanks.
#I’ve heard to horror stories from the old bsn boards#I have to reason to think the same won’t happen there#as is frequent in any really large community#also there must be an overwhelming amount of posting happening#and just imagining those walls of text#even if it was drama free#is enough to give me anxiety#dragon age#dav#life at nerdy holler
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911 tonight. fear
#op#the reason i rarely watch television that is currently airing is because i genuinely make myself sick over it 😭#i think it has something to do with being autistic#like i’m not in control of when i watch each episode and i have no idea what’s gonna happen </3#and theres an entire fanbase watching it at the same time which overwhelms me for reasons i won’t explain#i won’t be able to watch the mid season finale live and i’m extra scared about that…
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Every copy of The Funky Phantom is personalized
#sorry for posting cringe 😔 it will happen again#anyway here are my two fixations atm#my art#fan art#kirby#the funky phantom#hanna barbera#crossover#bandana dee#bandana waddle dee#elfilin#I can’t draw backgrounds for shit forgive me#meta knight would be the funky phantom himself I don’t make the rules#reason: he’s funky#maybe I’ll draw him too#maybe I won’t#also hc bandana sounding like skip cause they have the same vibe#i think it fits leave me alooooone 😭😭😭#augie anderson#skip gilroy#april stewart#almost forgot to tag them too LMAOO
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Everybody: physical therapy hurts! You’re going to feel like you’ve been beaten up after you get out
Me: yep okay
Me when the physical therapy hurts:
#she said ‘just to warn you; this massage gun is maximum strength. you can’t buy this at home. it’s a professional one’#and my dumb ass said ‘okay :)’ thinking i was going to be fine because i’m not exactly a stranger to vibrations if you catch my drift#BIIIIIIIITCH#i felt like i was being jackhammered into the table and not in a pleasant way#had me sweating bullets and clutching the table for dear life#anyway long story short my knee is taped up now with some sort of special tape that Will remove my skin if i try to take it off too soon#or without soaking#it feels kind of bizarre i won’t even lie. it feels simultaneously like it’s going to come off; but also feels very On There#i love that i’m getting the athlete treatment and i didn’t even have to play a sport. this is what happens when you have weird knees#apparently. did you guys know it’s not really normal to be able to bend your knees backwards?#i’ve been doing it my whole life and never knew. she was like ‘you’re hyperextending your knees’ i was like ‘i’m doing WHAT’#googled it and apparently it’s usually a sign of injury LOL#and apparently my dad could do it too. yeah the same dad who was constantly dislocating hips and elbows and knees. GREAT#honestly am starting to think the only reason this problem (repeated dislocations) has only just flared up is because i am lazy#if i was like my dad and played sports i’d probably have dislocated every joint i have by now#thank god my hobbies are literally all sedentary. anyway. if you need me i’ll be eating dinner (fish fingers and potatoes lol)#personal
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Shout out to the other day when I made my grandma concerned bc I was watching an anime on tv in the English dub and had such a visceral reaction when I realized the subtitles not only didn’t match the voice over but also that there was no version of the subtitles that matched
#enderposting#btw if anyone starts talking shit about dubs I’m going to explode them#but I think that won’t happen unless this breaks containment somehow.#the main reason I was watching the dub was bc i had watched the anime before in Japanese and wanted to see what the dub was like#in the end it was cool to see the difference between sub and dub via the captions (including some lines that made me go WHY DID YOU-#DUB IT LIKE THAT….)#but at the same time I SHOULF HAVE THE OPTION FOR PROPER CAPTIONS??
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.
#being demi in today’s dating culture or whatever is very lonely actually#it’s never rly smth anyone wants to put up with#if i meet someone i think is physically attractive and i find them interesting and they happen to also like me then i have to explain to#them that i won’t actually want to do anything or even like them romantically for several several months#like even if this hypothetical person asked me on a date they couldn’t even hold my hand#i’ve always said i’m going to be the type that has to be friends with someone for a long time first before anything happens#but the problem with that is 1) i’m bad at making friends 2) if i ever do make a friend that i actually like romantically there’s no reason#they would return my feelings#so i’m always either asking someone who might be interested in me to hold that interest for an indefinite period of time or rolling the#dice and hoping that friend feels the same#i can’t just date. i can’t just meet someone and be like i like you you’re attractive#my best friend got on hinge and found a bf in like. 2 days and i hate her bf but that’s not the point#sorry i act like the stray cat you leave food out for and inch closer as i eat over the period of a year until i finally sniff your hand#without hissing and scratching immediately#none of this makes sense and thats bc it’s 3am#sam speaks
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Stuck
In which reader finds herself stuck in an elevator with her colleagues.
Pairing: Hotch x Reid x Morgan x Fem!BAU!Reader Genre: smut (18+) Content warnings: fingering, oral (f and m receiving), face riding, p in v sex, overstimulation, masturbation, breast play Word count: 5,4k A/n: I'm ovulating, so you know what time it is 🤭 I'm really nervous to post this, so I hope you will enjoy!
“Oh, you guys are such babies!” You laugh as Spencer and Derek refuse to step into the elevator, explaining how they’ve been stuck in one before.
“It’s not funny, Y/N,” Spencer chimes in. “There are six elevator deaths per year. Not to mention ten thousand injuries that require hospitalization.”
You roll your eyes at his comment, just as Hotch walks toward the elevator. “See!” You exclaim. “Hotch is joining us, and he saved you last time. We’ll be fine.” You add cheerfully.
“You’re coming?” Hotch asks, holding the elevator door open. You nod, pulling Morgan and Reid with you by their arms.
You chuckle at their nervous reflections in the mirror as the elevator starts moving. A sudden creak causes Derek to snap his head towards you. “It made the same sound the last time!” You were just about to shut Derek up as the elevator shakes and the lights start flickering.
“Not again!” Spencer whimpers, his eyes squeezed shut like he’s about to fall to his death at any given moment.
Hotch inspects the tight space, his expression grim. “It seems like the electricity went out…”
“Actually, there are a lot of reasons why an elevator might stop,” Spencer interjects. “It could be worn-out suspension ropes, and it actually happens quite regularly that the motor overheats the safety sensors of the-“
“Let’s just solve this problem, shall we?” You cut him off, nudging Morgan out of the way to hit the red button on the panel.
“You think that’ll do something?” Morgan asks, brow lifted.
“It will alert someone that we’re stuck. We have to wait until somebody comes and gets us out of here.” Hotch adds.
“Well at least I’ll be missing my meeting with Strauss,” I sigh in relief.
“It was at twelve, right?” Spencer asks.
“Yeah,” you respond with a nod.
“Statistically the average wait time to be rescued from an elevator is less than an hour,” Spencer continues, checking his watch. “That means you could still make it in time.”
“Now that’s just what I wanted to hear,” you say sarcastically, earning a grin from Morgan.
“We can only hope we won’t be in here for that long,” Hotch mutters, his impatience visible as he leans uncomfortably against the elevator doors.
“Okay… so now what? Want to go over a case to pass the time?”
“No, no cases please,” Morgan groans. “We’ve had three in a row. I’m done.”
“Morgan is right. We’ve done enough cases in the past few days.” Hotch agrees.
You mutter an “alright” as you sit down with your back against the elevator wall, smoothing out the crinkles in your skirt. The others look at you with uncertainty. Eventually Reid decides to sit next to you, exchanging a soft smile. Morgan follows suit, sitting in front of you. Hotch remains standing. You leave him be and turn to Spencer.
“So Reid, I’m sure you’ve got enough interesting facts to pass the time.”
Spencer looks surprised by the request, not used to directly being asked to share his facts, but his eyes quickly brighten, eager to share. “Well, actually, there are a lot of interesting things to say about elevators. There are approximately 20 million elevators worldwide,” you chuckle at his obvious enthusiasm. “The first elevator was created in 236 B.C. by Archimedes, a Greek mathematician. He used a water wheel and tied animals together with rope to create a lift mechanism.” You hum in interest. “They used lifts in the Colosseum, right?”
“Yes! Exactly!” he responds excitedly. “The system was powered by eight men who would turn this massive wooden shaft connected to ropes. It could hold more than 600 pounds!”
“Oh come on,” Derek says, his hand falling to his knee. “You’re telling me you’re actually interested in the mechanics of ancient elevators?”.
Hotch glances at Morgan, silently agreeing with Derek’s skepticism.
“Derek Morgan…” you feign offense, placing a hand on your chest. “Don’t act like I’m not curious about knowledge. At least Spence’s got something interesting to say.”
Spencer blushes faintly, appreciating your defense.
“Hey, I know facts too,” Morgan says smugly. “How about there being 7000 languages in the world today.”
“The overall number is actually closer to 8000,” Spencer corrects him. “You only counted verbal communication.”
“You guys are going to have a facts competition now?” You ask, bewildered. “It’s way too hot in here. I need some light conversation.”
“I agree,” Hotch mutters. “It is getting a little warm.”
You glance up at the AC in the corner of the elevator, which is clearly not working. It probably shut down along with the power. There’s a brief silence before Reid speaks up again.
“I never thought I’d be trapped in an elevator with my colleagues,” he muses. “It’s a little cliché.”
“Cliche, how?” Hotch asks, intrigued despite himself.
“You know how, in movies, a group of people get stuck in an elevator and they have to learn to overcome their differences to escape?”
You shake your head in confusion, “I think I only know the dirty movies where they get stuck in an elevator,” you laugh.
Spencer blinks at you, clearly thrown off. Derek chuckles at the scene, and even Hotch manages a faint smile.
“I should’ve known you’ve only watched the dirty ones,” Derek teases.
“What about you, pretty boy? Ever seen a dirty movie?” He asks Spencer, grinning.
Reid looks flustered. “I grew up in Vegas… I’ve seen some things.”
“Ah, Vegas,” you say, sighing dreamily. “The place where you can’t drive for a minute without seeing a giant porn billboard.”
Morgan grins, leaning back with a satisfied sigh. “Sounds like my kind of place.”
You laugh and kick his leg playfully. Morgan winks at you, enjoying the lighthearted banter. You glance up at Hotch, who is still the only one standing.
“What about you, Hotch? What’s your favorite dirty movie?” You ask with a mischievous grin, but your expression quickly drops when you see his stern look.
“Watch it, Y/L/N.” Hotch warns.
“Come on, Hotch,” Derek says. “Let loose a little!”
“See it as the universe’s sign.” I press on.
“How is being stuck in here a sign of the universe?” Hotch asks, brows raised.
“Well, no way would you willingly take a break yourself. Now the universe got you stuck in here and is forcing you to relax,” you explain, with a playful gleam in your eyes.
To everyone’s surprise, he slowly lowers himself to the floor, sitting down next to you.
You exchange surprised looks with Derek and Spencer. All amazed at how you managed to get Hotch to sit down.
The next few minutes are spent in comfortable silence, scared to say something that will make Hotch change his mind. You’re glad he joined you, but it’s hard to ignore the rising temperature now that another person is sitting in close proximity to you.
“How long has it been?” you ask, fanning yourself with your blazer. “I’m starting to sweat.”
“Thirty-five minutes so far,” Derek replies, following your lead and fanning himself.
Hotch looks mildly uncomfortable, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Spencer, however, looks the most miserable using the collar of his sweater vest to wipe his face.
“You guys should take your jackets off,” you suggest, eyeing Morgan and Hotch.
You don’t need to tell Derek twice, as he removes his jacket, revealing a black short sleeved shirt that looks a lot more comfortable. Hotch looks reluctant to do the same, but eventually gives in, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt collar. You take a peak as he reveals his broad, muscled shoulders for a moment, before readjusting his shirt. Hotch notices your glance and his eyes shoot up to yours, catching you in the moment as your cheeks flush. You quickly look away.
“Oh, she’s enjoying the view, alright,” Derek smirks and you give him a warning glance.
“Shut up. I was just surprised Hotch would give in.”
Morgan grins and nudges Hotch with his elbow, “Look at that, Hotch. You’re surprising us all today. First you smile and now you’re taking your jacket off. What’s next, dancing a jig?” You and Spencer snort at his comment. Hotch rolls his eyes at Morgan’s teasing but can’t help a small smile from appearing on his lips.
Spencer struggles with his vest and you give him a hand. “Here, let me help you”, you say as you scoot closer, pulling the vest over his head. The fabric feels soft, but incredibly warm in your hands. You don’t know how he managed to keep it on for this long. Reid is taken aback for a moment, but mutters a soft thanks. Morgan and Hotch watch the exchange with interest, clearly amused at the sight of you being so forward with Reid.
“Now it’s your turn, you’re the one who insisted,” Morgan states, and you can’t help but agree as you take your blazer off, giving a satisfied hum at the immediate relief.
“I’ll open up some buttons too, if you don’t mind,” you announce as your fingers start working on your blouse. You don’t give them a chance to respond, since it seems only fair. Their eyes widen at your gesture, all of them staring at the sight of your blouse slightly opening up. Morgan lets out a low whistle, “Now that’s a nice view.”
“You’re insufferable,” you scoff as you stop unbuttoning, showing just a hint of your lacy bra. Morgan’s eyes linger on the sight, clearly enjoying the view. Hotch and Reid look like they’re struggling to keep their cool. Reid is the most flustered of all, turning bright red as he focuses on his hands. Morgan glances around at the others, seeing them struggle to keep themselves composed.
He chuckles and shakes his head, enjoying the effect you’re having on them. “You know, you’re driving all of us a little crazy here, sweetheart.”
You let out a small huff, “Give me a break. You’re wearing shortsleeves, I’m the one wearing a blouse.”
Hotch speaks up, his gaze lingering on your blouse. “That blouse does seem a bit warm.”
“Thank you!” You say, glad someone is on your side.
Hotch eyes stay focused on you though, or specifically the bit of exposed collarbone and the lace that’s hugged around the swell of your breast. Your breathing heaves when you find Spencer taking occasional peaks as well, watching with a mixture of awe and embarrassment, finding difficulty in looking away.
“Let’s just all take our shirts off, I want it to be fair”, you quickly exclaim, done with the heavy tension that’s driving you crazy. Hotch and Morgan exchange amused glances as Spencer eyes turn big, taking in your proposal.
“All our shirts, are you sure about that?” Derek asks, a hint of surprise in his voice.
“Then at least you won’t eye me like that.”
“Oh, I think I’ll eye you only more.” Derek teases, licking his lips.
“Just take your damn shirt off.”
Derek chuckles and raises his hands in surrender, “Alright, alright. No need to get feisty.” He says as he lifts his shirt off in a smooth motion. It’s a known fact that Derek is jacked, but seeing him in a setting like this, abs glistening with sweat and pupils still dilated from looking at you, is on a whole ‘nother level.
You’re glad the attention is taken away from your peering eyes as Hotch follows suit, unbuttoning his shirt, revealing a clearly defined muscular chest with just a hint of hair. You start doubting your suggestion as it feels like the room is only growing hotter. You look over at Spencer, seeing whether he’ll be the next. Spencer hesitates for a moment, his eyes darting between the other’s bare chests and your unbuttoned blouse. His chest heaving with his breath, suggesting that he’s more affected than he’s letting on.
“Come on, pretty boy. Join the party.” Derek says.
“I’ll go first,” you assure Spencer, not wanting him to suffer under peer pressure. Your hands start working on the buttons. Spencer’s eyes widened at the scene in front of him.
“See, it’s not that hard,” you reassure Spencer, folding your blouse and placing it next to you.
“I don’t know about that. You’re making things pretty hard, baby girl.” Morgan comments, making you laugh.
“You’re way too dirty for your own good.”
Morgan grins. “Can you blame me? I mean, look at you. You’re looking mighty tempting right now.”
You softly smile at the compliment and focus back on Spencer. “You’ll feel a lot cooler, I promise,” you encourage.
“I don’t know. I’m not as… toned as the others.” It hurts you to hear how he’s comparing himself to his colleagues.
“Do you truly think I care about that?” You ask him. “It’s not a competition. I just want you to feel comfortable,” you speak genuinely. Spencer looks up at you, his eyes searching yours for any signs of mockery or deception. When he finds none, his face softens and he nods. He lifts his shirt over his head, revealing a body no less impressive than the others.
“Not too bad, pretty boy. You’re looking pretty good without that vest on.” Derek compliments.
“You do,” You agree, as you fold his shirt and place it on top of my blouse. Spencer gives you a sheepish smile, grateful for your help. Glad he decided to take his shirt off as he felt the cool air hit his chest, “Yeah, that does feel better.”
You look around the room, the scene for sure one to be put down in the history books of the BAU. “I think it’s safe to say we’ve entered a new step in our colleague bonding,” you awkwardly chuckle, trying to lighten the mood but the air feels charged with an unspoken tension that’s impossible to ignore. You can feel their eyes on you, the way they linger, the weight of their gazes following your every movement. You try to ignore it, to stay professional, but your body betrays you. You shift slightly, adjusting your skirt, and that’s when you feel it - the subtle brush of Hotch’s fingers caressing your arm.
You swallow hard as you look away. The air around you is suddenly too tight. You want to curse your body as your nipples harden under his steady gaze, there being no way to blame it on the cold. Derek notices the exchange and leans in, the heat between you two palpable.
His voice is low and husky, “You're all worked up, sweetheart. Don’t think we haven’t noticed.”
Your pulse quickens, the sound of your heartbeat almost drowning out his words. “I’m not the only one,” you counter, voice quieter, but the challenge in it is unmistakable. You feel Spencer shift next to you, his body tense as he feels like he’s been caught staring at your chest. “Don’t be shy, genius,” Derek teases. “We’re all thinking the same thing right now.” You can’t help but smile at Spencer’s flustered look. “It’s… It’s hard not to, when you-” He cuts himself off, his voice faltering as his eyes dart away from your breasts.
Hotch is still standing by the door, his eyes narrowing slightly as he watches the dynamic play out. “We’ve been stuck in here long enough. I think it’s safe to say we all want and feel the same thing.” The air thickens with desire as he dares to say the thought that’s been occupying everyone’s mind. You glance at the others, seeing how Spencer is adjusting himself in his pants and the way Derek is watching you, his gaze so intense it almost feels like he’s touching you.
“Guess it’s only fair if we all just… give in to it,” you murmur, your eyes flicking between them. The suggestion is there, unspoken but understood.
From there on everything feels like a blur. You hear Hotch growl behind you as he wraps his bicep around your neck, pulling you in as his lips crash against yours. You whimper against his mouth, which gives him the opportunity to let his tongue slide in. You welcome his tongue with yours as your hand moves to squeeze the arm around your neck, making full use of the circumstances to feel up on his muscles.
“You’re always driving me crazy when wearing this skirt,” Hotch groans in your ear as his teeth pull on your earlobe. You can find no other way to respond than let out a high pitched sound of enjoyment as his free hand kneads your ass through your pencil skirt. Spencer watches the scene unfold in front of him. How his boss roughly grabs and kisses you, manhandling you.
“I- I don’t know about this…” Spencer stammers.
Morgan turns to him, breaking the intense gaze he had on you and Hotch. “Don’t worry Reid, she’s enjoying it.”
“Are you sure?” Spencer asks, uncertainty in his voice as Hotch is pulling on your hair, giving him access to plant kisses and bites on your neck.
Morgan grins, “Let me show you how sure I am,” he says as he steps towards you and Hotch. He rolls your skirt up to your stomach and lets his fingers slide over your panties, cursing when it easily slips between your folds, creating a wet sound. You moan at the friction, not in the state to feel embarrassed by how wet you are.
“See Reid, she loves it,” Derek points out, licking his lips as he pulls your damp panties to the side. Spencer lets out a groan as Derek reveals your glistening pussy, his hand subconsciously squeezing the bulge in his pants for any form of release.
“Let me see,” Hotch insists, removing his lips from your neck. Derek slides a finger through your folds and proudly displays the stickiness to Hotch.
“You’re such a little slut, aren’t you?,” Hotch whispers, his nose pressed against the side of your face. “Just been begging to get in a situation like this so we could all fuck you the way you deserve.” You whimper at his dirty words and hot breath on your skin. Your legs feel like jelly as he grinds himself against your ass. Derek continues to apply pressure with his hand as he lets his fingers rub up and down your lips and clit.
Spencer’s eyes are burning holes in your chest. He just can’t understand how no one has touched your lovely tits, while they’ve been teasing him the entire time.
“You can come here Spence,” you purr, hypnotizing him to walk towards you. He swallows as he’s close enough to touch you, close enough to hear all the little sounds you’re making as you’re being touched all over.
“Can I-?” You don’t let Spencer finish his question as you quickly nod, throwing your head back as his finger grazes over your nipple, sending a direct spark of pleasure to your clit.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispers mostly to himself in awe as he cups your breast, the shape fitting perfectly in his large hand.
“Thank you,” you whisper back. It’s ironic how his sweet compliment is the thing that's making you shy.
Derek slips a finger inside of you with ease, and you bite your lip to hold back your mewls. “Don’t do that. I like the way you sound.” Spencer encourages, resulting in another moan from you, loving the effect his words have on you.
Hotch unclasps your bra from behind and Spencer helps him by pulling your straps down, letting your breasts fall free. Hotch grabs your left breast, kneading it with his strong, calloused hands as he rolls your nipple in between his fingers. Spencer uses the momentary distraction to bend down and experimentally licks your nipple, humming at the sensation. He gives a couple more licks to your breast as he pulls your nipple in between his lips, sucking on it as he flicks his tongue against the sensitive bud.
You feel overwhelmed by the way all of your erogenous zones are stimulated at once; Hotch licking and biting on your neck and ear, while massaging your breast and grinding his hardness against your ass. Spencer’s swollen lips and wet tongue tracing over your nipple as Derek caresses your thighs as he adds a second finger into your pussy. You realize that this is what pleasure is supposed to be like. The zones on your body are all connected and you haven’t experienced true bliss until those spots get triggered at the same time.
“Morgan, is she ready?” Hotch asks, breathing heavily.
“More than ready, sir,” Derek grins as he takes a step back. He lets his fingers slide out of you, making you whimper at the loss of contact, but then Hotch turns you around so that your chest is pressed up against the elevator doors where he was standing.
“I need you for myself,” he groans. Derek tosses a condom from his jeans and Hotch catches it, ripping the package with his teeth while pulling his trousers down to his knees, not wanting to let a single moment go to waste. Your hands are pressed against the wall as he slowly enters you.
“Oh my god… I feel so full,” you whine and you swear you could feel him grin as you register that he’s not even fully inside of you. You let out a long breath as you feel his balls make contact with your ass.
“You’re doing okay there, princess?” Derek chuckles and you nod. Hotch slowly moves his length out of you as he slams his hips back in with a groan. You gasp as you wrap your hand around the back of his head, keeping yourself steady as he continues thrusting into you. His growls feel hot against your neck. His sweaty chest pressed up against your back, leaving you completely in his grasp.
“You feel that angel? How your pussy swallows my cock?” You let out a cry as you nod your head in agreement.
“I don’t understand Y/N. You’re a big girl, use your words.”
“Oh god…’’ Your head spins as he pounds into you. “I’m not going to tell you again Y/N, use your words.” He orders.
“Yes!’’ you cry out. ‘’God yes Aaron, it feels so good. I can feel you so deep inside of me.”
“Say my name again.” He moans as his hand trails down your stomach until it reaches your swollen bud. “Aaron, please… I’m so, so close.” He gives some quick taps to your clit, making you squirm in pleasure as your knees give out. His strong hands grip you by the waist and he hoists you back up on his dick. “I’m almost there honey, you can keep it up, be good for me.”
You let out a string of whines as he uses the palm of his hand to swiftly move against your folds, indirectly bringing pleasure to your clit. You can’t take it any more, pressing your nails into his arms as you crouch down in front of him, shaking as your release hits you. Hotch groans loudly as his dick slips out of your pussy. His dick twitches as he takes off the condom, painting your back with hot spurts of cum.
You have your eyes closed, trying to catch your breath as you’re still riding down your orgasm. You hum as you feel the soft material of Spencer’s sweater vest against your back, cleaning you up.
“You okay?” Spencer asks, kneeled in front of you. You nod your head and softly smile at his tenderness.
“Yeah. I feel really, really good.” You answer, making Spencer return your smile. With him in front of you, you notice the visible outline of his bulge pressed against his thigh and reach out to touch it. Your fingers lightly brush over his length, causing him to shudder.
“Do you want me to take care of you?” You ask sensually, looking in his eyes.
“Not really,” he responds, taking you by surprise. He sees your expression and quickly corrects himself. “It’s not like I don’t want you to! I’d- I’d love you to do…”, he’s not actually sure what you planned on doing to him. “Whatever you would do. I just-,” his voice softens, meeting your gaze. “I really need to know what you taste like.”
Your cheeks warm, feeling your arousal grow. “Okay,” you exhale. Spencer extends his hand, helping you up. You find your blazer and bundle it up for Spencer to lay his head on. You’re amazed at how willing he is to get down on the floor, ready to eat you out in a very nontraditional and arguable unsanitized way. You hover over his face as you get down on your knees, letting out a hum as his breath tingles your pussy. Spencer kneads your calves and runs his hands up the back of your thighs. He tilts his head up, placing a wet kiss on your inner thigh.
“Feels good,” you mumble. Spencer responds with a hum against your skin, the vibration causing you to moan. He grabs your thighs, slowly pulling them further apart. “I can’t wait to taste you,” he admits, sticking out his tongue and licking a stripe up your folds. You moan, arching your back. Through hooded eyes you spot the figure of Hotch. He’s sitting against the wall in front of you, lazily stroking his half hard length as he stares at you.
Just when you were about to question where Morgan was, you catch him in your periphery. He holds your gaze as he approaches, coming to a stop right in front of you. His belt buckle hangs open, but it doesn’t look like he’s touched himself.
“If you don’t mind, I’d really like to take up on that offer genius here denied.” You grin at him, hands reaching out to his belt. Spencer is keeping himself busy, licking and sucking up your juices. You pull Derek’s pants down, gasping as his dick springs free, slapping against his happy trail. You groan in delight as you wrap your hand around his shaft. He tilts his head back at the contact. “Fuck baby, your hands feel so warm and soft.” You lean forward and let some of your spit dribble down on his dick, making him hiss. You move your thumb in circles over his tip, mixing your saliva with his precum. When it feels like it’s wet enough, you move your hand up and down his length in a steady motion.
His tip grows red and you cannot resist licking your lips before putting your mouth on him. He feels heavy in your mouth as you take him in deeper, stimulating him with your tongue as you suck. His hands tangle in your hair, holding you as he moves in sync with your movements.
Spencer moves a hand up the curve of your ass while he uses the other to unbuckle his belt. He slides his hand in his pants, rubbing himself over his boxers as he relishes in your taste. His lips nibble on your labia as his nose tickles against your clit.
“Don’t get distracted, baby girl,” Derek states, softly pushing your head back down. You swallow around him and try to up your pace. Derek takes your breast in his hand, massaging it. As your nipples harden he takes one in between his fingers, pulling on it. You gasp at the sensation, making his dick slide deeper down your throat.
“Fuck! Right there baby, that feels so good,” he pants. You blink away tears, continuing the steady movement of your head and swirls of your tongue.
Spencer’s dick starts feeling too hot in his boxers and he pulls it out, so that it lays against his stomach. Your pussy is absolutely dripping because of the swipes of Spencer’s tongue and the taste of Derek in your mouth. Spencer can’t keep up with licking you clean, your wetness dripping down his chin. He reaches out to grab his length, the skin to skin contact overstimulating him.
You notice Spencer getting restless underneath you. Derek’s dick pops out of your mouth. “Are you okay, Spence?” You ask. He hums against your clit in response, you let out a high pitched moan and instinctively bend your knees. “Sorry,” you apologize as you want to tilt your hips back up, but Spencer pulls you back down by your thighs, making you sit on his face.
“Oh god…” You moan as he starts devouring you. He keeps a hand firm on your ass as he starts jerking himself off to the beautiful sounds that you’re making. You lazily tug on Derek’s cock, too distracted by Spencer’s tongue.
“Oh Spencer, I’m going to cum,” you whimper, mouth open and brows furrowed in pleasure. You start grinding yourself on his tongue, seeking your release. You find the perfect spot and Spencer presses the tip of his tongue against your clit, as you fall undone. Spencer laps up your juices and squeezes the load out of his dick as it splatters on his belly. You lift your hips to give Spencer some space. He moves away, joining you on his knees as he sits behind you, pressing featherlight kisses to your back.
“I’m not gonna last that much longer,” Derek announces, who’s been stroking himself to your orgasm. “Come here, then,” you invite as you take him back in your mouth. Placing a hand on his thigh for support, you use all of the energy that is left in you to suck him off. Your free hand reaches out to play with his balls, which seems to be the trigger for him.
“Fuck, Y/N, baby, I’m going to cum!” He groans deeply as he fills your mouth. You quickly swallow his load, eyes watering as he pulls you in by your head, needing your lips on him as he rides out the aftershocks.
“Fuck… You’re amazing, sweetheart.” He sighs, letting go of your hair so that you can catch your breath.
-
“Who the hell is in there?”
The voice outside is sharp and gruff. Everyone’s heads whip around, startled. Hotch swiftly buckles his belt as he strides towards the elevator doors.
“This is SSA Aaron Hotchner of the BAU. I’m stuck here with three of my agents.”
The voice responds quickly, dripping with disbelief. "Why didn’t you morons use the emergency button?"
Your colleagues look at each other, then shift their gaze to you, all with accusing looks plastered on their faces.
"Hey, don’t look at me! I’m the first one that pressed the red button!" You say in defense.
The voice outside huffs in frustration. "Red? It's a black button."
You blink in surprise, your gaze snapping to the panel. You crawl up to get a better look, and sure enough, there's a black button, boldly labeled ‘EMERGENCY.’
"What in the world?" you mutter under your breath. "Then what the hell is the red button for?!"
The voice outside laughs sarcastically. "How the hell am I supposed to know? I’ve been working here for six months. Don’t blame me because you can’t read." He pauses, clearly shaking his head. "FBI agents, my ass."
You blink in disbelief. You share an incredulous glance with Derek, then burst out laughing, your frustration giving way to amusement. "Seriously?" you mutter, shaking your head.
Derek notices how Spencer’s been unusually quiet. “Speak up, kid,” he urged.
“I’ve known what the buttons do the entire time,” he says, voice casual.
You and Hotch both turn to look at him, eyes wide. “What?!” You both exclaim at the same time.
Spencer shrugs, a playful glint in his eyes. “I told you about those movies where people overcome their differences to try to escape. I wanted to see how we would solve it.”
Derek’s mouth drops open. “You’ve been sitting here the whole time knowing exactly what to do and didn’t say anything?!”
Spencer smiles, looking almost proud of himself. “It’s a team-building exercise,” he says matter-of-factly. “Don’t tell me that you didn’t enjoy it.”
You shake your head, laughing in disbelief. “You’re unbelievable, Reid.”
As if on cue, the elevator jolts, and the soft ding of the doors opening fills the space.
#spencer reid x you#aaron hotchner x you#derek morgan x you#spencer reid x reader#aaron hotchner x reader#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid smut#aaron hotchner smut#derek morgan smut#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#criminal minds smut#spencer reid x fem!reader#derek morgan x fem!reader#aaron hotchner x fem!reader smut#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid x y/n#derek morgan x y/n#aaron hotchner x y/n#spencer reid x oc
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— salacious fixation
cw/tw: hoon is mean and manipulative, yandere themes, daddy kink, size kink, unprotected sex, squirting, creampie, mentions of previous rounds
minors do not interact.
Sunghoon will be the first to admit that he won’t ever fuck the same person more than two times. It’s an unofficial rule he has, and he’s been able to stick by it for so long because he gets bored so easily. He’s never met anyone who’s been able to hold his attention for longer than a week.
This all changes when he meets you.
The moment he saw you taking shots with Jake, he was done for. Sunghoon felt like a creep for watching you all night, but he was physically unable to look away. Everything about you fascinated him. That night, he was only able to exchange a few words with you, but at the very least he was able to learn your name.
Getting to know you isn’t as easy as Sunghoon hoped. For some reason, you kept an annoying amount of distance from him. You always remained polite and cordial—sweet, even. Yet you always pulled away before he could get too close. It drove him insane and made his fixation more intense.
Finally, Jake let it slip one day that you disregarded him so much because one of your friends had a huge crush on him. Apparently you were a girls girl, or whatever. If Sunghoon were anyone else, he might’ve respected that. But he didn’t. At all.
It’s easy to get your friend to invite him over when you just happen to be hanging out with her. Because your friend is so infatuated with him, she’s quick to let him crash what was meant to be a girl’s night. Sunghoon can tell you’re not happy about it, but as always, you play the part of a sweet angel who goes with the flow.
It makes getting you alone that much easier.
“You’re leaving?” You exclaim, feeling your face heat up when you realize how loud your voice got.
“I’m just going to get some drinks,” your friend assured you, not at all concerned that she’s leaving you alone with her very hot crush. “I know you’re shy, but I won’t take a long time.”
You wonder why Sunghoon can’t go with her, or why she won’t let you leave so you don’t have to be a third wheel. Either way, she makes you promise to stay until she comes back, and you foolishly agree. After all, the liquor store is only thirty minutes away, and she assures you that she’ll be back quickly.
It turns out, it only took ten minutes for Sunghoon to have you naked and spread out on your friend’s bed. You feel like such a nasty slut, but somehow that just turns you on more.
According to Sunghoon, everything would’ve been so much easier if you gave into him from the beginning. Of course, it’s way too late for any of that now. He’s going to have to ruin all of your pretty little holes until he gets you out of his system.
At least, that’s what he thinks until he sinks his aching cock into your needy cunt. Once Sunghoon feels how tightly you’re gripping him, he knows he won’t ever be able to get enough. He’s so nasty, and it shouldn’t get you as wet as it does. However, all of your rational thoughts were shoved to the back of your mind after your pussy got creampied.
“F-Fuck!”
Your wanton cry is loud, rivaling the lewd squelching and skin slapping filling the room. Tears of pleasure stream down your face as Sunghoon fucks his huge, girthy cock into your tight pussy. Your mixed releases are pushed out of your cunt with every rough thrust and drip onto your friend’s bed, but her hot crush is far from done with you.
“S-Sunghoon, please!” You beg through your tears. “More!”
“Who?”
He sounds so mean and ravenous, but that only turns you on more. Your pussy tightens around him as you stain his cock with more of your cream. No one has ever fucked you so roughly before, but you love every second of it.
“Daddy, please!” You mewl into the mattress, face burning at the name he insisted you call him. “Fuck me harder!”
Sunghoon smirks as his large hands grip your ass to spread you open for him. You feel so hot and tight around him that he never wants to stop fucking you. After this, he’ll keep using you over and over until you’ve milked every last drop of cum from his balls.
“God, you’re fucking needy,” his grip is bruising. “Bet you love daddy stretching out this tiny little cunt, huh?”
You nod even though it feels like he’s splitting you in half. It hurts so good, and you know that you wouldn’t stop even if your friend were to walk in on you two right at this very second.
“Can’t believe this cute little pussy is taking my cock,” Sunghoon groans as he helps you bounce back on him. “Thought I’d need to train you a little more. Guess you were just desperate for some cock.”
You moan into the sheets, too fucked out to care about anything except the cock drilling into you and the hot guy it’s attached to.
“You’re so pretty, angel,” Sunghoon coos as his heavy balls slap against your pulsing clit. “Prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”
Sunghoon groans in satisfaction when you squirt all over his cock. He licks his lips as his hips start to snap. You’re a fucked out mess underneath him, trembling on his cock from absolute pleasure.
“That’s it, baby. Get your friend’s sheets all dirty. Filthy fucking girl.”
All you can do is moan like a slut as Sunghoon fucks you like you’re his personal fucktoy. Part of you wants to finish before your friend gets back, but the other part never wants him to stop. Any guilt you felt has melted away. In a way, this was all her fault for not letting you leave when you first wanted to.
“Fuck. I’m gonna cum again,” Sunghoon roughly kneads your ass before he roughly slaps it. You jolt and cry out. “You want that, baby? Want me to fill this tight little cunt?”
“Yes, daddy!” You moan, as you deepen your arch. “Cum in my slutty little pussy. Want it so bad!”
With those needy words, Sunghoon shoots his hot spunk inside you. The loud moans you let out can be heard by your friend as she unlocks the door to her apartment, but Sunghoon only encourages those pretty noises as he fucks his cum deeper into your pussy.
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One More Night
Summary: You and Bucky Barnes are fuck buddies for a while. The problem is you have feelings for him but you don't think he reciprocates and it just makes it impossible to continue your relationship. Little did you know how much he wants you and how hard he's trying to keep it casual.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: +18, friends with benefits, idiots in love, unspoken feelings, miscommunication/misunderstandings, angst with happy ending, unprotected sex, pet names, no mention of y/n
Word Count: 3.4K
All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.
It is one of those days when you feel absolutely worthless. It wasn’t something you felt often before but now…. It is starting to feel like your new normal. You know it’s your fault, and it just makes you feel even worse. You let this happen when you let Bucky Barnes walk into your life without any consequences. Now he just has a free pass to destroy you anytime he wants.
It was supposed to be just fun. Something casual because you know he has no intention of settling down. Especially not with you. Not that he said any of those words but he doesn’t need to. You just know it.
He’s one of the popular guys in your college. It’s not surprising considering how handsome and charming he is. He’s also talented and hard-working. He takes school seriously unlike a lot of people around you. So when it comes to his free time, he just wants to have some fun, no strings attached and you were fine with this arrangement. You wanted to be close to him and this is the price: Your heart breaks every time.
You don’t blame him but you definitely blame yourself because you put yourself in this position. If you weren’t so pathetic, you could simply say no and this regularly hooking-up arrangement of yours would have ended. Yet you never said no and he never stopped coming back to you. Probably because it’s convenient, you can’t come up with any other reason. Like who says no to an easy fuck, right? That is what you are. An easy fuck. Still, it’s breaking your heart every time he leaves your bed. You say to yourself “This is gonna be the last time” but when the next text or call comes, you fold once again.
That’s how you ended up here. Your face is buried in the pillow while Bucky is pounding you from behind. It feels good. Actually, it feels pretty amazing. It always does but this time your emotions are overshadowing the physical pleasure. Tears are streaming down your face and you are grateful that he can’t see it thanks to this position. Then a sob escapes your mouth and you feel betrayed by your own body.
“Does it feel that good, doll?” He sounds smug but you can’t answer him. Not while trying to hold the rest of your sobs back. That seems to worry him. He suddenly stops and when he takes a closer look sees that your eyes are filled with tears.
“Hey, hey, hey! Are you alright?” He sounds genuinely worried. You try to say something but instead, more sobs come out. “What happened? Did I hurt you?”
He didn’t physically hurt you, yet you are hurt. You don’t know how to explain this to him. You feel embarrassed and angry at the same time. You pride yourself on how good you are at hiding your emotions. You don’t want anyone to see you cry. You don’t want anyone’s pity. Yet here you are. Eyes filled with tears, sobs escaping your lips and your heart is shattered.
“Please talk to me!” His desperate tone snaps you out of your thoughts. You try to turn on your back and quickly dry your tears.
“It’s fine. Sorry for killing the mood. I just…” You hesitate for a second but no, you won’t back down this time. “I just can’t do this anymore.”
“That’s fine.” That wasn’t the response you were expecting. “You know it’s okay right?” His worry is so apparent in his voice. “You can always tell me to stop.” What is he talking about? “If you don’t like something or you don’t feel like it anymore… Just tell me next time and I will just stop.”
“There’s no next time Bucky.” The words come out of your mouth before you can process them. You didn’t intend to be so harsh but it came out so definite.
“What?”
“I’m telling you that I can’t do this…” You wave your hand between you two. “...anymore. I’m done. We are done.”
“What…” He sounds shocked and hurt at the same time. You try to avoid looking at his eyes while he struggles to find the right words. “What are you talking about? Did I do something?”
“You didn’t do anything. It’s all my fault.” You have no intention to blame him. You know it’s on you. He never promised you anything.
“I don’t understand.” He sounds so lost. “Just help me understand what happened, okay? I thought everything was okay.”
“They were, for you. It was never okay for me.”
You watch how his expression changes into something that breaks your heart even more. You never thought he would care this much but… apparently, he does. Maybe he’s not used to being rejected. Especially in the middle of sex.
“I… I don’t know what to say.” He looks at your face and then around. “I thought this is what you wanted.”
“What I wanted?” You repeat his words without missing a beat. “I never wanted this. This is what you wanted and that’s why we kept doing it. I was just…” You hesitate for a second because you hate to admit it. “weak.”
“Weak? You are never weak.”
“Oh, I am weak. This is why I kept saying ‘one more night’ to myself whenever you called or texted me. I’m weak as fuck and it makes me angry, okay? I shouldn’t be like this.”
“Doll, what are you talking about?”
His confusion confuses you as well. Can’t he see how much he’s hurting you? Is he really that blind or maybe he just doesn’t care.
“This arrangement might be working for you but it’s not working for me, okay?”
“But… this is what you wanted.”
“I never wanted this.”
“You said we can’t get emotions involved!” He sounds somewhat angry this time.
“Because you didn’t want emotions involved!” Your answer comes instantly.
“When did I ever say that?”
His question makes you stop for a second. He never said that but did he really have to? You know how popular he is. Everybody loves him. He has the prettiest face you have ever seen. You desperately wanted to be with him. You didn’t care how.
“Just look at you.”
“What does that even mean?” Is he doing this on purpose? He surely knows everybody wants him. Why does he have to hear it from you?
“It means you didn’t have to say it.”
“How does… I really don’t understand you.” His confusion is written all over his face. The way he hesitates makes you realize you have to say it out loud to make him understand.
“You are handsome. You are talented. Everybody loves you.” He keeps looking at you with confusion. He really doesn’t get it, does he? “You can have anybody you want!”
“Apparently not.” Why does he sound broken?
“Oh, come on!” Your reaction is instant. “You know you can. Don’t act humble. I’m just easier.”
“Easier?” You don’t miss the disbelief in his voice. “Easier?” This time it comes out more angry. “You were never easy!”
“You know what I mean. An easy fu-”
“Don’t you fucking dare!” The tone of his voice startles you. You never heard him talk like this. “I never wanted just an easy fuck. Especially not with you but that was all I could get!” Your head flinches back slightly. What is he talking about?
“Bucky…” He doesn’t let you continue.
“I don’t know what has gotten into you because this… what you called it? Arrangement, yes, was never my idea! You were the one who didn’t want to involve emotions. You were the one who said anything more than this would affect our friendship. I never said that!”
“I was trying to protect myself!”
“You never showed any interest to me!”
You blink a couple of times, trying to process that information. What did he think you were doing with him?
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You never showed any interest in staying over. You never wanted to do anything outside the bedroom or wherever the fuck we were fucking. Whenever I tried to take you on a date, you came up with a lazy excuse.”
“Uh… what?”
“I tried so many times, sweetheart. You never let me in. You were only interested in sex and now you are blaming me for it. No. Be honest. If you wanna end this thing, it’s fine. You don’t need any lies. I get it. I knew it would happen eventually.” He’s speaking so fast, you can’t even find any opportunity to interrupt him until he stops.
“You tried to take me on dates?” He squishes his eyebrows together like he can’t believe you are focusing on that part.
“Many times. I suggested study dates, tried to take you on that concert, then that one comedy club thing…”
“I thought…” You don’t know how to finish that sentence.
“You thought what? You knew what I was trying to do and you weren’t interested, so I finally gave up.”
“No, no, no.” You jump from your awkward position on the bed. “I never realized.”
“What did you think I was doing?”
“I thought… they were activities with other… people. Not dates.”
“Why would I take other people to a concert with us?” Oh, he really doesn’t get it.
“I thought… you had plans with your friends and… you were… inviting me as well. Just to show… we are nothing more than friends.”
“Oh, dear god.” He covers his face with both of his hands. “Seriously? Why would you even think that?”
You mimic him and cover your face with embarrassment. You don’t want to say it. Especially not to him.
“I… just never thought…” You don’t know how to say it without making him realize how low you think of yourself. “You were interested in anything more than sex.”
“I’m handsome. I’m popular. Everybody loves me. Is that why?” He repeats your words with that god-awful mocking tone and it hurts to hear. What you don’t realize is that he’s making fun of himself.
“Yeah.” Your response comes out so weakly but he hears it.
He starts to laugh all of a sudden and all you can do is give him a confused look.
“God you are so blind.”
“Hey!” You instantly respond.
“Have you ever looked in the mirror?” You make a face but it just spurs him. “You are gorgeous and smart. I always thought you were way out of my league.”
“What?”
“You heard me. You are out of my league.”
“Come on… That’s-” He interrupts you again.
“Please.” The way he says it makes you stop talking. “I have been struggling to come to terms with you not liking me. I just told myself, you have done everything you can. You tried so many times. It’s a miracle she still wants to fuck you. I convinced myself this was all I could get so I tried to make peace with it. Now you are telling me you don’t want to keep doing this. What did you think I was gonna think?”
He just baffles you with every word coming out of his mouth. You look at him, not knowing what to say or what to think, even.
“And you thought you were just an easy fuck? Jesus, doll. Do you have any idea how many times I prepared myself for rejection? Every time I called you, I thought you weren’t gonna pick up. Every time I texted you, I prepared myself to hear ‘no’, and every time it did not come, I was the happiest man on earth because I had one more night with you!”
You don’t know when it started but you start to feel tears filling your eyes.
“Please don’t cry anymore.” He moves his hand on your face and catches a tear before it drops on your cheeks.
“I…” It’s so hard to speak normally. “I never thought…”
“What?” This time it comes out softer. You know he wants to hear it because he needs that assurance as much as you do.
“You would actually like me.”
“Like you? Oh, doll… I don’t like you. The word like doesn’t even cover it.” The smile he gives you ignites something inside you. Something you tried to push down for a long time. Suddenly you push him back a little bit and his mouth falls open but he doesn’t get the chance to say anything. You just sit on his lap, taking him back inside you and it slips right back in so easily. It makes you want to moan out loud but instead, you wrap your legs around his torso and trap him there.
“Oh fuck…” His moan is like music to your ears. It’s so raw and unfiltered.
You don’t say anything. Your hand wraps around his neck before you start to move. His hand quickly finds your breasts, squeezing them a lot harder than he ever did before.
“You are so fucking gorgeous.” He says right next to your ear. You feel his breath on your neck and his lips attach to your neck as if he knows what you want. He starts gently. First, he sucks the skin and makes you whimper. Then his teeth graze the sore skin. When he finally bites the same spot, you realize he was just giving you some time to protest but it never came. His bite pulls a groan out of you and the way it hurts falters your rhythm.
“Sorry, I couldn’t resist.” He licks the same spot, trying to soothe the pain. “There’s a part of me…” He tries to find the right word. “...that wants to mark you. Show the world that you’re mine.” Fuck, is he serious? He stops for another second to ask “Are you mine, doll?” He sounds so nervous yet possessive.
“I am.” You move a little back and look into his eyes while saying that. “I have been for a long time.”
He grabs your cheeks with both of his hands and pulls you in for a long, passionate kiss. It's all tongue and teeth, making you burn with passion.
“I’m yours, too. I think I always have been.”
It’s your turn to show how much those words mean to you. You start to move again on his lap. This time it’s faster than before and it just makes both of you moan loudly. He wraps his arms around your body while he supports your movement by grabbing your ass and moving you a bit faster than before.
“Shit!” It feels good but it also restricts your range of movement and he realizes it quickly.
“Sorry. I just want to feel you all over me.”
You want to say it’s alright but he’s a lot faster than you. Suddenly you find yourself on your back. Bucky’s still between your legs. He never left inside you while changing the position.
“Wrap your legs around me, baby.”
God, the way he says it sounds like a soft order. You can practically feel the desire running through your veins. Your legs are automatically wrapped around his ass while he starts to move but he doesn’t put any distance between you. His whole body is pressed against yours while he’s kissing and licking all over your neck.
Sex with Bucky never felt like this. It was always good. You don’t remember any occasion you didn’t enjoy it or reach orgasm. Yet this feels like real intimacy. The way he’s making you feel is indescribable. You can feel everything he said before while he moves inside you. How much he wants you, how much he adores you… The way he clings to you fills you with love. All of it enhances the physical pleasure. Loud moans escape your lips.
“So… All this time…” Bucky starts to talk. “You thought I was here because this is easy.”
Ah, fuck. He isn’t gonna let that go, is he? You should’ve known that. You roll your eyes in response but he doesn’t see it. His head is still buried in the crook of your neck.
“All this time… I was where I wanted to be.” Your annoyance quickly fades away as he keeps talking. “Underneath your body.”
“You weren’t always underneath me.” You answer him with a playful tone.
“As long as I’m inside you, the position doesn’t matter.”
“So…” You try to ask as quickly as possible before your sudden courage disappears. “You haven’t been sleeping around with anyone else.”
He raises his head just to look into your eyes.
“All this time, you thought I was fucking other people?”
“I mean…” You were just friends with benefits. What else you were supposed to assume?
“Were you?”
“Was I what?”
“Fucking other people?” His question is a lot more blunt than yours.
“I asked first!” You sound so defensive all of a sudden.
“I can’t live without touching you, smelling you, feeling you… I have been craving you non-stop, only stopping myself from calling you every day, just so I wouldn’t scare you away and you are asking me if I have been fucking other people. Jesus Christ, doll. How blind are you?”
You are questioning the same thing yourself, to be honest. How blind were you? While trying to surpass your feelings, you were overlooking his, as well. It’s just unbelievable.
“Doll?” You didn’t realize you were lost in thoughts. “It’s fine if you have been.” It doesn’t sound fine at all. It sounds like he’s trying to rationalize it so it would hurt less. “I’m not saying I won’t be jealous but it’s not like we were actually together.”
You start to laugh and he gives you a strange look.
“You are such an idiot and you call me blind.”
“What?”
“I only ever wanted you, you moron.”
His smile is so big and bright, it’s worth everything you two went through. His happiness is practically radiating. Suddenly, his lips are on yours, kissing you like a madman.
“You’re only mine.” He starts to move inside you again and you can feel how close you are to coming.
“Only yours.” Your words make him groan loudly.
“Fuck that mouth of yours. You’re gonna make me come before you.”
“You can do that later.” You tease him while moving your hips to meet him.
“Is that a promise?”
“It can be. Only if you fuck me just a little harder so I can finally come!”
That makes him move away from you. He stands up and without losing any time, pulls you on the edge of the bed. You know what’s coming and it makes you smile like a fool. He positions himself between your legs while pushing your knees on your chest. In a couple of seconds, he’s back inside you but the position feels so much better this time. A loud moan leaves your lips every time he hits that sweet spot inside you.
“Harder, huh?”
“Yeah. Just like that.” It’s so hard to not roll your eyes with the pleasure he’s giving you. It’s familiar yet it feels so different this time.
“My girl wants it rough. Why didn’t you just say so?” He sounds cocky there’s also a hint of eagerness in his voice. You can tell he’s close.
“Do I have to tell you everything?”
“From now on, yes. You have to tell me everything.” That authoritative tone pushes you over the edge. “Every fucking thing you feel, okay? Every fucking thing you want. I wanna know everything!”
“Yes!” You practically scream. You don’t know if you are answering him or just screaming because of the way he makes you feel. Your legs are shaking violently while your whole body tightens up. “Fuck yes. Please, please, please, don’t stop!” Your eyes are closed while you are riding your high.
That makes him groan so loudly. Even though you can’t directly look at his face anymore, you just know he’s about to come. He starts to pound on you so forcefully, it just unlocks another level of orgasm for you. Both of your moans fill the room and he keeps going until he empties himself inside you. After what feels like an eternity, he pulls out of you and lays right next to you.
“Fuck, that was…” The struggles to find the right word.
“On another level?” You offer to end the sentence for him. That’s exactly how you feel.
“Yeah.” He doesn’t miss a beat. “We should’ve talked to each other before.”
“We were busy doing other stuff.” You smile and he smiles back, knowing exactly what you mean.
“I guess we did everything other than talking things through, huh?”
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