#I have to be at work tomorrow...through saturday

[jessicaloons]

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince:

Chapter 8

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The Heartbreak Prince

Barcelona 2023:

"I’ll be back soon, my little princess. I’m going to miss you so much." Charles whispered, cradling his daughter gently to his chest "Don’t grow too much, you hear me?" he kissed her forehead, his heart aching when he heard the sounds she made "You’ll call me after the check-up?"

"Charles, it’s just a standard check-up. It’s mandatory. They just check if she develops and grows the way she’s supposed to and look at her, she’s perfect and there is nothing wrong with her." his mother chuckled "But yes, I’ll call you right after."

"Thanks Maman." he kissed his mother’s cheek, then his daughters before carefully handing her over into the arms of his mother "Bye little princess."

"Bye daddy!" Pascale gently held Ava’s hand up and waved "Have a good race weekend, daddy."

Charles hummed a little, leaving his apartment. He wasn’t sure if he would have a good race weekend and when Saturdays qualifying was his worst session of the season so far he left the track frustrated in the evening. Back in his hotel room he felt alone, missing the sweet sounds of Ava she made when sleeping. He took out his phone and scrolled through his pictures. What used to be bright mix of race weekends, trips with his friends, parties and dinner get together’s was now a gallery of Ava. Little clips of her smiling for the first time, grabbing his finger tightly, turning her head. Pictures of her while sleeping, or looking at whoever held her with her big orbs. He missed his little girl. More than he ever thought it was possible. He forgot about the time when he FaceTimed his mother, hoping to see his little one after the day he had.

"Charles? Everything okay?" his mother looked as if she just woke up, that was when Charles realised how late it was.

"I’m sorry, Maman, I forgot how late it was. I just-… I wanted to see Ava." he mumbled and Pascale began to smile.

"Of course, well she’s sleeping but I guess there’s nothing wrong with having a look how she’s doing, no?" she said and the next moment Charles looked at his daughter, happily slumbering, making the most adorable noises, the ones he missed dearly next to him at night, and he felt his eyes stinging a little.

"Thanks Maman, that was what I needed…" he whispered and his mother nodded.

"You’ll do good tomorrow. Don’t worry."

"Yeah. Maybe…" Charles mumbled and sighed "For now, I just miss her…"

"You’ll see her in 2 days, Charles. Go to sleep now. You have a race to win tomorrow."

"Sure. Win. Good one…"

"How is she doing that?" Arthur mumbled and Charles looked up from his book.

"Doing what?" he tilted his head a little, looking at his brother and daughter.

"I was in a really, really bad mood. I hold her for not even a minute and I’m in the best mood ever. Like look at her squishy face! Her chubby cheeks? How can someone be this adorable?" Arthur cooed at the little girl lying on his thighs, stroking her tiny tummy.

"Well first off, I think she absorbs any bad energy around her and turns it into positive energy. And secondly, she’s my daughter look at me, I’m adorable." the older Leclerc laughed and Arthur threw his head back, cackling.

"Yeah sure… you’re not even in the slightest as adorable as Ava, nice try. But I agree… she’s like a filter system for bad mood."

"Don’t you ever again call my daughter a filter system!"

"Mood cleanser?"

"Arthur!"

"Okay, okay! Jeez. Seems like her filter system isn’t working long range…" the younger Leclerc mumbled, still chuckling.

"You’re an idiot, I hope you know that…" Charles sighed sprawling out on the floor "I really don’t want to go to Canada tomorrow…"

"Totally understandable… I cuddle every night with her for you."

"Usually you would come with me… I see that your priorities have changed."

"I can watch you race from here as well, just with the bonus that I can cuddle with my gorgeous niece." Arthur shrugged playing peek-a-boo with Ava, loving the excited sounds she made.

"I wish I could take her with me… but it’s just not possible…" Charles sat up, watching his daughter looking at her uncle with her big blue orbs "At least I know that you guys take good care of her."

"Yeah. Don’t worry. You go to Canada and do your best. We take care of our little angel."

"She’s my angel."

"Our angel."

Montreal 2023:

"Hey Charles, sorry to see you this soon here. You couldn’t quite set a good time with intermediates, were the tyres the problem?"

Charles sighed and took a sip out of his water bottle, shaking his head.

"I think they were partly the problem. I asked for slicks, the track was a mix of wet and dry at that point and I didn’t feel too comfortable on the inters…"

"You were frustrated on the radio, saying after the session that the tyres weren’t ready."

"I’m very frustrated with the qualifying in general. Not everything is about the tyres obviously, some others did exactly the same thing and still went through into Q3 on inters. But I couldn’t set a fast time with them and when we finally changed onto the slicks I had not enough time to prepare them… we are just making our lives so much more difficult like this." the Ferrari driver said, trying to not show how frustrated he truly was.

"What do you think about tomorrow, starting from P11?"

"We need to improve and do a step forward otherwise we’re always going to be disappointed so yeah…we need to improve now…" Charles said with finality in his voice, hoping the reporter would have enough and thankfully he nodded.

"Thank you Charles and good luck for the race tomorrow."

"Thanks." the driver followed Mia to the next interview, going over the same questions, again and again and when he finally made it back to the Ferrari hospitality the mood all around wasn’t the best. Only one car in Q3.

"Carlos has to go to the stewards later…" Andrea said, and Charles cocked an eyebrow "He impeded Pierre…"

"Shit. What position?"

"P8, for-…"

"P8? When he gets a penalty…" Charles looked over at Fred talking to Carlos and Ricky, his race engineer.

"He’ll be in P11 and you’re in P10…" Andrea replied "Let’s wait and see…"

It didn’t take long for the confirmation that he was indeed starting in front of Carlos and the mood in the garage had shifted. Charles never liked being in front of his teammate because he benefitted from a penalty, but he knew better than anyone else that there are races like this, Monaco was the best example for it. He knew that strategy wise he was now in a better position and had to deliver to maximise the teams points this weekend and when he sat down in the race debrief, with 22 points, 12 by him and 10 by Carlos, he felt like they did the best they could do with the situation they were given.

"… alright, that’s it for tonight. Let’s work hard to get you guys on the podium in Spielberg!" Fred dismissed the meeting and Charles got up immediately, ready to leave as fast as possible.

On his way out some of the mechanics asked if he would join them for a couple of beers but he declined, stating he was exhausted when Mario began to laugh.

"Sure, you’re exhausted… you can tell us, Charles, you have a special girl waiting at home for you…" he said, making the driver stop dead in his tracks, looking at him.

"What?" he was shocked, how did he know about Ava?

"You’re in love! Amore… it’s in your eyes.

I can see it." he chuckled and Charles let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding "So go, enjoy your time with your girl."

"Th-thanks…" the driver almost stuttered walking away as fast as possible.

"That was painful to watch…" Andrea appeared out of nowhere, making Charles flinch "You have to learn to hold it together a little…"

"I was just so freaking scared that they knew about A-…" he stopped, looking around and then continued with a quiet voice "I thought he knew about Ava. That’s- that’s like my worst nightmare right now. People finding out about her while I’m still adjusting to this new life…"

"You’re doing great, Charles, really. You should cut yourself some slack…" Andrea clapped his back.

"Yeah maybe, but I’m still not ready to be a single father under the scrutiny of everyone who knows who I am…" Charles sighed unlocking the car "Maybe one day, when I know how to manage everything, but for now, it’s like this… for now I hurry back home after the races to see my beautiful girl."

"Well I’d say then let’s get going. Let’s go home so you can see your little one."

"I can’t wait."

Charles walked through his living room, carefully rocking Ava to sleep, trying his best not to melt away when he looked at her. His mother sitting on the sofa with teary eyes, her heart so full of love for her son and granddaughter that she almost forget why she was here in the first place.

"Maman it’s really okay! I will be fine. I still have Enzo and Arthur…" Charles smiled, gently stroking Ava’s back and Pascale chuckled, her eyes trained on the scene in front of her.

"…if Enzo and Arthur are your last resort…"

"Charlotte… I have Charlotte, okay? We’ll be fine. So please, go!"

"It’s just two days, I promise! I need to go to this convention. I haven’t been to one in a long time and now that Marie left…" Pascale began and Charles nodded.

"We’ll be fine. Until then I have it figured out, okay? It’s in the week of the Hungarian GP?"

"Yeah… it would be on Monday and Tuesday, I’d be back Tuesday evening…"

"So we still got time. It’s all good. Really. I’ll talk to Silvia and Fred that I would fly out Tuesday night. It’ll be fine." he reassured his mother, smiling at her.

"You’re right. You’ll manage. And it still gives me time to manage what to do with the salon these two days, Julie can’t manage the salon and take care of all the appointments…" she agreed after a moment and Charles sat down next to her.

"And you’ll manage that as well…" he said, smiling at his mother "I wish I could take Ava with me from time to time, you know? But even if no one would see me with her, the moment someone sees her with you? Arthur? Or anyone else close to me? People wouldn’t stop asking questions whose daughter she is… and keeping her at a hotel room all the time? That’s not okay…" Charles sighed, smiling when Ava flinched a little, getting scared from her own adorable little sneeze.

"I know, Charles. But you’re doing the right thing I think… don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of you and what you’re doing, and how you act around your fans… you’re so down to earth and always make them smile. But it’s dangerous… they’re getting too close at times and with Ava with you? I would be scared for her safety…"

"No, you’re right. It’s too dangerous. For now this is the only way to ensure her safety, it’s what has to be done." Charles replied, getting up "I want her to be safe and happy. And if that means that she’s here with you while I’m away, then it’s okay…"

"It is, but you still don’t have to like it…" Pascale said quietly, watching her son laying down his precious little girl into the bassinet next to the sofa.

"Oh, believe me, I don’t like it. Not at all. I hate it. I hate it to leave her behind all the time, I hate it to have so little time for her between the races. I hate it all. But then again, coming home seeing her? It’s all worth it at the end of the day… and only 4 races left and it’s summer break. I can’t wait. 3 weeks without interruption." Charles smiled, stepping carefully away to not wake up his little one "3 weeks of not having to watch out for people seeing us. The house is private, high walls and fences. No one knows that we’re renting it. It’s going to be perfect."

"It will do you some good to not constantly look over your shoulder when you’re outside with her… and when you don’t have to wear this atrocious clothes to hide who you are…" Pascale gently patted her sons arm who scowled a little.

"That’s my normal clothes… I like them actually…" he replied and his mother’s eyes widened.

"You wear this jeans that fit you thrice, that weird sweatshirts… you wear that voluntary?" she asked, the shock evident in her voice.

"Umm- yeah, I do actually…"

"Oh. Okay. Umm-. Wow. Okay."

"Ouch… that doesn’t hurt at all… I wear that stuff all the time? In the paddock?"

"I don’t look at pictures of you online? Or in magazines or whatever. I see you these days mostly in sweatpants or shorts. Or with these oversized, weird clothes when you go out for a walk with Ava, always putting on caps and XXL-shades… sorry, I thought that’s some kind of disguise…" Pascale chuckled a little.

"Wow. Thanks Maman…" Charles rolled his eyes, plopping down next to her.

"I mean-… umm-… what do I know about fashion these days, you know? At the end of the day it’s just clothes." she shrugged her shoulders making her son laugh.

"Yeah… clothes you don’t like."

"Clothes I don’t like…"

Austria 2023:

Spielberg was always a track Charles liked a lot. A track he already won and stood on the podium before. Maybe if he worked hard enough, he finally could celebrate a win with his little girl. The first of many more to come hopefully. When he said goodbye on Tuesday evening, he held her close to his chest, kissing the crown of her head.

"I’ll be back soon, mon amour, I love you my baby girl." he whispered, then handed Ava over to his mother "Have a nice weekend together." he kissed his mothers cheek and then grabbed his bag, waving goodbye once last time, meeting up with Joris who waited outside for him.

"Ready?" he asked and Charles nodded, getting in the car, trying to focus on the weekend ahead.

Media day came and go, as always, the same questions, the same people. Fan events here, sponsor events there, Silvia parading him around like a puppy for everyone to fawn over, introducing him to business men and their guests, small talk left and right. Charles hated it. Every single minute of it. But it was part of his job. So he smiled, laughed, listened.

"I have to say Charles, you’re displaying a tremendous amount of strength, the way you pull through although our car this year is anything near the Red Bull." one man in a dark navy suit said, waving over a young girl "Alessia, I want you to meet Charles…" he said and Charles heart skipped a beat.

Alessia. His mouth went dry. His mind and heart started racing each other. No. It couldn’t be. She wouldn’t come here. She knew who he was. She wouldn’t do that. He didn’t listen to what the man in front of him said, he just tried to regain control over his body again, when the girl stopped in front of him and he looked at her face. He let out a sigh of relieve, carding nervously with his hand through his hair, chuckling.

"Charles, this is my daughter Alessia…" the businessman began big Charles interrupted him.

"It was nice to meet you, the both of you, but I need to make a call. Please excuse me." he said and stormed off, out of the room down the hallway to a little terrace, where he sat down, taking a deep breath, closing his eyes.

"Here…" a voice startled Charles and he looked up at Carlos, handing him a glass with a dark drink in it "I thought you could need one, I for sure can…"

"Thanks." Charles nodded and clinked his glass with his team mates.

"Since when are there so many young girls attending these sponsor events? It’s usually just old men and some business women? But now it seems like every guy is bringing their daughters along." Carlos shook his head, taking a sip of his drink.

Charles thought for a moment and had to admit that he was right, the last 2 events he attended were also packed with a lot of girls.

"Maybe the fathers want their daughters to get more involved in what they’re doing? Make them passionate about racing? Wouldn’t be too bad if we get more girls into watching F1 or motorsports in general…" he shrugged, taking a sip from his drink as well, grimacing at the taste "What is that?"

"It’s whiskey… I just grabbed the first two glasses the bartender had prepared, probably some dudes in there waiting for their drinks still…" Carlos laughed "So. What’s going on with you?"

Charles looked at him, cocking an eyebrow but the Spaniard didn’t look away, holding his gaze.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh come on mate, I’m not stupid! Somethings going on…" he insisted and Charles heart was pounding "You, Fred, Silvia, you all act a little weird here and there, like you know something the rest of us doesn’t…"

"I-I don’t know what you mean… there is nothing we don’t- umm we don’t know anything you don’t know! Or I mean-… maybe they do but I don’t know either so they fool us both…" the Monegasque stuttered, making Carlos raise an eyebrow again.

"You’re the worst liar. You need to work on that. Like seriously." the older driver chuckled, taking another sip before he continued, his voice more serious "Is it about our contracts?" he asked, mustering his team mate, but when Charles didn’t react, only looked at him wide eyed and confused, he sighed "Alright, I won’t ponder."

Charles felt bad. He liked Carlos, sure, they weren’t the best of friends, as teammates it was almost impossible, but there was a mutual respect, on and off track and lying to him was something he didn’t like. Especially when Carlos thought it was about such an important topic like their contract extensions.

"I have no idea about our contract situation, I swear. You’re right. There is something going on, but it has nothing to do with you, with the team, not even with racing. It’s a private issue and Fred and Silvia know about it. That’s all. I swear." Charles stated after a while, looking at Carlos.

"Is everything okay?" he wondered, looking relived when the younger driver nodded "Okay… you know- umm… if you need someone to talk, you can talk to me. I mean, we’re teammates after all…"

"Thanks Carlos, I appreciate it." Charles smiled a little and they both fell silent again.

He didn’t know how long they sat there, but when they finally made their way back inside, the event was almost over, Silvia looking more than annoyed.

"You can go now, it’s over. Go back to the hotel, relax, rest, the weekend starts tomorrow and we want you to deliver a good performance… at least on track, if you can’t keep our sponsors happy apart from it…" she said tight lipped and stormed off, leaving the two drivers alone, chuckling.

"Then I’d say let’s go and rest so we can deliver…" Carlos said winking, following the redhead and Charles tagged along.

The weekend started out well for Charles and when he FaceTimed with his mother and daughter after the qualifying he felt confident, although that confidence faded after the sprint shootout and later the sprint race itself.

"P12. Fucking P12. What the fuck." he was pacing back and forth in his hotel room, too agitated to sit down.

"The real race is tomorrow. You’ll start from P2. It’ll be fine." Joris tried to calm his best friend down who just scoffed.

"Did you see how bad I was driving today? What makes you think I’d be better tomorrow?" the driver finally plopped down on the sofa, head in his hands "This season is the worst I’ve ever had… even worse than at Sauber."

"Oh come on. Stop that. I bet my ass that you’ll do just fine tomorrow. You know what? I say, you make it onto the podium." Joris sounded determined, confident and Charles had to chuckle "If I can believe in you, you can too…"

"I’m trying. I really am but-…" he began but his best friend shook his head.

"No but. You’ll finish this race on the podium. Period." he stated and after a moment of silence Charles nodded.

"You’re right. I’ll finish on the podium." he said, knowing that no matter what he would say, Joris would diminish it anyway and when he waved at him from the podium, claiming a P2 he could see the big grin of his best friend, knowing he would get a big I told you so as soon as he would be back in the garage.

"Little stop over at home and then Silverstone my ass…" Charles groaned, hating to leave Ava after not even 24 hours again.

"You sure you have everything? I saw a lot of stuff on your bed?" Pascale asked him and he shrugged.

"It was stupid to unpack. For a day..." he mumbled going back to his bedroom, returning a minute later with a bunch of clothes and toiletries in his arms "So stupid…" he dropped everything haphazardly into his suitcase, closing it "Come here little princess." Charles walked towards his mother who handed her granddaughter to her father and then sat down, watching her son cooing at his little girl "I guess I have to go now…" the young father said after a quiet few minutes where he cradled his bundle of joy close to his heart "I don’t want to… but I have to…" he sighed, kissing Ava’s chubby cheek, smiling at the little yawn she let out "And you baby girl need to go to bed…"

"I’ll take care of that." Arthur jumped up from where he was sitting, happily taking his niece out of his brother’s arms when their mother got up, rolling her eyes.

"Arthur, you have to leave as well… so come on. No stalling…" the older Leclerc brother said, grabbing his phone.

"I’m not stalling… I just think- I don’t know…" Arthur sighed handing his niece over to his mother "I just much rather would stay here than race…" he mumbled, kissing Ava’s head.

"Well, same… but it’s our job, so…" Charles shrugged, slipping on his shoes.

"I know, I know." the youngest Leclerc brother held up his hands and slipped on his shoes as well "Let’s go… goodbye, little princess. Goodbye, Maman." he kissed both of their cheeks and then stepped aside for his brother to do the same.

"I see you on Monday…" Charles whispered to his daughter before he looked up at his mother "Thanks for taking care of her, Maman. See you on Monday. Or wait, is the convention next week?"

"No, it’s after Hungary." Pascale replied, smiling when Ava grabbed onto her necklace, looking at the sparkling charm.

"Okay. And it’s all sorted with the salon? You can go and don’t have to close for the days?"

"Yes, I found a solution." Pascales smile got bigger.

"That’s good." Charles said and waved at his little girl, ready to leave.

"What solution?" Arthur asked, intrigued by his mother’s big smile that wasn’t solely based of his niece happily babbling away in his mother’s arms "Maman? What’s the solution?"

"Lauren. She’s the solution…" his mother whispered, but before Arthur could ask any further questions his brother already, pulled him towards the door.

"Joris is here, let’s go. Bye Maman, bye Ava."

"No, wait, I want to know-…"

"Whatever it is, it can wait, we’re late."

"I just want to know who Lauren is!"

"Lauren?" Charles cocked an eyebrow, stepping into the elevator.

"Yes, Maman said she’s the solution…"

"Who?"

"Lauren!"

"Who the hell is Lauren?"

Chapter 8 - I am back and I am sooo sorry it took me this long to upload this chapter! Long story short, here it is… enjoy it! Next chapter we might get the first meeting… or not… I guess you’ll have to wait and see 🤭

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

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Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@glitterquadricorn @lottalove4evelyn @janeh22 @itsjustkhaos @mariclerc @fangirlforever2000

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

i did wind up having to do some work into monday & a little on tuesday, and should prrrrobably do a mid-break admin catch up session tomorrow, but even so i have been having a very nice time off! we were able to head up for family stuff on christmas eve into christmas day, which was very exciting because our nephew is now JUST old enough for real legos if he gets some help :) thursday i took for chipping away at chores (i conquered dish mountain and finally did All my laundry and hopefully can now settle into doing one load once a week like a normal person….); friday i went over a friend’s to watch cinema classique xtina/cher vehicle burlesque, in which among other miraculous happenings dr. sam from new girl fucks stanley tucci; saturday i split a pot of tea & a slice of pistachio-chocolate cake with a friend at a yemeni coffee shop & saw her again at the party after which some of us got a nightcap at a local bar and i wound up drunkenly booking a haircut at 4:25 in the morning, which is very silly but you know i’ve been putting it off for months; today i slept off last night and did some end of year journaling & reflecting and then headed into the city to catch babygirl with some friends, at which i had somehow an even better time than i had hoped for. i have mostly been extremely physically lazy but i did get my five workouts in even through the very worst of the luteal times; i have been extremely intellectually lazy more or less without exception. in my head when i pictured my Staycation i thought i would go to museums and such but i really forgot how much i need an effort shutdown at the end of the year and also hate leaving the apartment when it’s cold and i feel fortunate to have had fun find its way to me anyway. i have zero plans tomorrow and then fun plans four days in a row and then one final mostly empty day (which realistically speaking will also be spent sleeping off the night before), which seems basically ideal for me in terms of the relaxation-stimulation balance.

[laxchra]

...now what/who do I want to change my icon too

[ifindus]

❄️ Norway as a birkebeiner for the Always With You Zine ❄️

Birkebeinere were soldiers in Sverre's army during the Norwegian Civil War (1130-1217). They were called birkebeinere because of their footwear. They were functioning as a guerilla army, constantly moving around, and so their clothes became worn and they had to use bark from birches to insulate their legs. The birkebeiner army ended up winning the civil war against the bagler faction, mostly made up of powerful families connected to the church.

[an--artistic--autistic]

let's see how long executive dysfunction will kick my ass before stress let's me do all the tasks that need to be done in the next 10 hours

[feral-and-or-horny]

I need a good night's sleep, a damn good massage, some really strong weed gummies, and then I need to get railed into next week

[rosicheeks]

🤦🏽‍♀️

[vampmilf]

and on the 7th day god said let there be painkillers and humanity rejoiced

[zippityzap]

It’s only Wednesday and I’m already so fucking exhausted of this week

[hoshiina]

chat we are SO BACK THERE WILL BE A POST TOMORROW

[brittlebutch]

ok. we are now over 40k words and wrapping up the final draft. i think the first chapter will get posted on sunday :3c

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

rude as hell of my goofy ass brain for depriving me of dopamine surges because i didn't attain arbitrary card goals today

[kohakhearts]

by the way i am going to get to asks and such soon, i just am super busy at the moment (yay for 6 day work-week in a field where your days off are dedicated to doing even more work) but i have blorbo thoughts and i will absolutely make them everyone else’s problem as soon as i have more than one (1) hour of brain power a day to do something that isnt Work or School related

[ghostfungus]

My head hurts so fucking much

[justinefrischmanngf]

the thing is if i was presented with the opportunity to be reckless rn i'd take it immediately but i have not put myself in any situations so far where i would now be presented with the opportunity to be reckless does this make sense like i would take the opportunity i want the opportunity but i think i need to have made different decisions leading up to now to have the opportunity presented to me..............

[bookdork1]

i put off a project that definitely requires two months of work until the weekend before it was due and i’ve only really been putting in effort for the last 15 hours but i think i can get it finished