#I have to be at work tomorrow...through saturday
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As we ease our way into February
Lol. Just kidding. February is a lot. We just need to understand that out of the gates. This is the big ramp-up for March, which includes two personal planet retrogrades (Mercury AND Venus) and eclipse season. The energy is going to start rolling downhill, and we are going to either need to keep up or get the fuck out of the way.
Today is a banger that involves all three of our personal planets. Mercury in Aquarius trines retrograde Jupiter in Gemini, which is overall positive - a good day to work on your words, whatever that means to you. But relationships of all kinds will be rocky at best, with Venus conjunct to our North Node at 29° Pisces and retrograde Mars in Cancer Square to Chiron in Aries.
Someone (probably a lot of someones) is hurting today, and this is the result of a course of action that was put into place some time ago. Today may be a cosmic reminder for many people that actions have very real consequences that echo out into our futures. Yeah, consequences don't HAVE to be bad, but this time around, it really looks like they are. If it's not about your Others, work on not taking it out on them because we are knee-deep in breakup season, and there isn't much forgiveness to go around.
It's worth noting that both Venus and Mars are in their retrograde cycles, so we will see these same aspects again - Venus twice more as she retrogrades back over the North Node and then passes it a third time in forward motion, and Mars as he moves forward after his retrograde.
Still, tomorrow is a new day, and we will care a lot less as Venus enters Aries - the sign of her exile - on Tuesday. In Aries, Venus is a fighter, not a lover, and we must contend with that. We probably even NEED that, but it won't make this upcoming Valentine's Day season any easier. Nor will it help us to negotiate or work with other people to make the changes that need to be made in the months ahead.
Additionally, Jupiter stations direct at 11° Gemini, which IS a major boon. Jupiter is quite out of place in Gemini, the sign of its exile, and this was being exasperated by its retrograde cycle. I won't say that luck is back on track (yet), but we're getting there. Jupiter will leave Gemini in the spring, and we should look forward to that eventuality.
Small favors should not be overlooked right now.
We get a lull through midweek, but it may be the calm before the storm.
On Friday, Neptune meets up with the North Node at 28° Pisces. I don't think that this will be a groundbreaking day if only because Neptune obscures by its very nature, but it will be long-reaching. This major planetary stellium: Saturn, Neptune, and the North Node in Pisces and Venus, barely in Aries, will be joined by the Sun and Mercury in the months ahead - this is it. This is that sticky point I've been talking so much about.
We are here. We may not know where here is yet. But it IS happening. Stay aware and take notes, what happens now will matter more than it might at first appear.
Both the Sun and Mercury in Aquarius sextile Chiron in Aries on Saturday before meeting up in conjunction with one another on Sunday. Whatever is being revealed right now has some serious pain attached to it - it's wise to attend to this pain, not look away from it.
Also, on Sunday, retrograde Mars in Cancer trines Saturn in Pisces - these consequences are real. It's long past time for us to run away from them.
We all need to sit with this. It isn't going to be pretty.
But it is where we are.
Energy Update: February 2025
February is a "2" Universal Month [2 (February) + 9 (2025) = 11 = 1+1 = 2] in a "9" Universal Year. Two is often a decision number; as we move down the path, we find a fork in the road and face our first choices. This is consistent with the astrological transits of the month; our personal planets are marching ever closer to the divide between 29° Pisces and 00° Aries - THE degree of the year. What we do now matters, but we may not know why yet.
The Set Up
We begin the month with the Sun, Mercury, and Pluto in Aquarius; Venus, Saturn, Neptune, and the North Node in Pisces; retrograde Mars in Cancer; retrograde Jupiter in Gemini; and Uranus in Taurus. By month's end, the Sun and Mercury will have moved into Pisces and Venus into Aries. Additionally, Mars and Jupiter will have stationed direct.
The Nitty Gritty
Aspect-wise, this is a pretty sparse month, but what we do see packs a pretty big punch. Mars is rounding out the end of his retrograde cycle (thank the gods), but both Mercury and Venus will retrograde in the months ahead. In fact, Venus is already in her pre-retrograde shadow as she moves through Pisces and Aries all month long. This month can be seen as a bit of a setup for what is to come in March, April, and May as each planet inches forward toward its inevitable conjunction to 00° Aries. I have written about this as the conjunction of the year here, so I won't go into a lot of detail about it, but I will make reference to it.
Mars
Mars has been in the spotlight since he began his retrograde journey at 17° Cancer on 12/6. This month, he makes the last legs of his trip before stationing direct on 2/23. We are deep in the weeds of Mars in Cancer now, which is unfortunate because Mars is at his fall in the cardinal water sign. A planet is considered in its fall when it is the opposing sign to that of its exaltation (here, Capricorn); this is an indication that the sign's natural aptitudes are in misalignment with the nature of the planet.
Cancer is the sign of the crab, and as a cardinal/moving sign, it moves like a crab - sideways, zigzagging toward its targets. This movement is highly inefficient; once Cancer grabs on, it holds on for dear life. Cancer types like the world to believe they are a moveable sign - they carry their homes on their backs, after all! - but often, they are so obsessed with what has already happened that they forget to look forward to the future. Cancer naturally rules the 4th house, the nadir of the horoscope wheel, the natural domain of the past - our childhoods and family setups. All Cancer types must watch out for false nostalgia or adherence to a perfect memory that doesn't fit the world as it is now.
I want to be clear here that I am not trying to throw Cancer under the bus: every sign has positive and negative traits associated with it. It's Cancer's job to REMEMBER the past; it's a challenging task, and someone has got to do it. The problem comes when Cancer gets STUCK in the past. This problem is because Mars moves backward in the sign most obsessed with the past.
I shouldn't need to point out the obvious parallels between this astrological transit and what is going on with US politics right now. What I can do is allow a broad view: sometimes, we need to return to review the past because someone has not yet learned their lessons. This is always very triggering for those out ahead of the pack. Nobody wants to stop for the slowpoke, least of all Mars.
One of the things that the study of astrological transits teaches us is that we often need to take three steps forward and then two steps back. This is the nature of retrograde cycles; they allow us a broader viewpoint as we retrace the degrees of the horoscope where we have recently been. These should be seen as a cosmic lesson - for society and sometimes for our personal lives. This is true of all planetary retrogrades, but it holds doubly true when a planet retrogrades back through Cancer, the sign that remembers.
We are in the thick of it now, and this is often when retrogrades feel their very worst. It is obvious who has their eyes wide open and is paying attention and who has chosen to hide their heads in the sand to play pretend. Not everyone wants or cares to change. This can be one of the most challenging realities to face.
Because Cancer lives at least partially in the past, they can be among the last to change. Often, they hold on with their crabby hands as if their lives depend on it. When Mars is retrograde in the sign of the crab, everyone is a little bit more reticent to see their part of the problem. Because the crab is so often thwarted (in that others want change while they want to cling to what they know and the comfort that brings), they frequently resort to emotional manipulation.
Think of the myth of the good old days when things were "simpler." Think of the parent that demands you obey because you owe them. Life isn't tit for tat - some obligations cannot be repaid. We cannot go backward; the past is done. We must grapple with these things as we move through the last month of this rough retrograde cycle.
Mars only makes one significant aspect this month, a trine to Saturn in Pisces on 2/9. I expect the days around this to carry the weight of these retrograde burdens, as Mars and Saturn are traditionally considered malefic planets. Whatever needs to be shaken loose will undoubtedly fall apart during this time, but it won't be pretty. Expect the worst, and hope for the best. Sometimes, things NEED to fall apart.
It's a scant comfort when shit is hitting the fan, of course.
As Mars exits its retrograde at 17° Cancer on 2/23, Mercury in Pisces is in a watery trine to help sort out the pieces. Verbally, if possible. Talk things out in your personal life on or after the 23rd, and take real actionable steps to rectify any situations that have come up since December. Remember that it will be another two months before Mars is out of his post-retrograde shadow, so things will continue to arise for re-evaluation.
The Lights: The Sun and the Moon
As the Sun moves through Aquarius, it will conjunct Mercury at 20° on 2/9 and square Uranus on 2/11. (Mercury squares Uranus on 2/10 on the day in between). This is our big Ah-Ha moment for the month. If you're into truth-seeking or truth-revealing, these are the days to work with. Anytime the Sun squares Uranus, the chances of sudden changes go up, and so long as Uranus is in Taurus, the chances of natural disasters also increase. Uranus is the lightning strike on the Tower card in the tarot; it is unexpected and generally unavoidable. Take that as you will.
Our full moon at 24° Leo on 2/12 forms a t-square to Uranus in Taurus; this will be a high-energy day. Expect the unexpected. Uranus tends to turn the energy up to 11, which will heighten the intensity of our full moon, which is already quite intense. If you're sensitive, you may need to take steps to discharge the excess - whether through physical movement or grounding. Do what works for you, of course. It's worth noting that Uranus is the modern ruler of Aquarius; this is a great day to do magic for activism or anything that affects the greater good of society as a whole, the domain of Aquarius.
Our Leo Full Moon is a 7/9 Full Moon.
5 (Leo Moon) + 11 (Aquarius Sun) = 16 = 1+6 = 7. 7 (Leo full Moon) + 2 (February 2025) = 9.
You can work with the number 7 to seek the best for everyone or the number 9 to represent endings and completions. Note here that 2025 is a "9" Universal year, so this number is further highlighted during this time. The combination of these two numbers makes it a great day to Hex the Patriarchy or do other magic to end the influence of the current administration.
As our Sun enters Pisces on 2/18, we enter the last astrological month of the year. There's a lot of pressure to wrap things up before spring when the Sun crests 00° Aries and our hot-point degree of the year. Pisces carries a lot of dark moon energy naturally as it rules the 12th house of the unconscious, which goes doubly for this year. Pisces is also the new home of our North Node, which is already conjunct with Saturn and Neptune at the other end of the sign.
The lunar nodes indicate where our eclipses will occur, so we may begin to taste eclipse season on the horizon, but we need to get through our new moon at 09° Pisces on 2/27 first.
This solar-lunar conjunction makes a wide stellium with Saturn, whose sitting eleven degrees away at 21°, so fate may be hanging heavily in the air. This is triply dark moon energy: firstly from the natural lack of lunar light, secondly from the nature of the Pisces new moon/12th house, and thirdly because it is the last lunar event before our upcoming eclipse season. If you are in that hole, know you are right on time.
Our Pisces New Moon is a 6/8 New Moon.
12 (Pisces Moon) + 12 (Pisces Sun) = 24 = 2+4 = 6. 6 (Pisces New Moon) + 2 (February 2025) = 8.
With 8 energy in play, expect to experience the highest highs and the lowest lows, perhaps both almost at the same time as one another. Eight is the number of the ouroboros and the infinity sign; you can work with either of these symbols during this time to help move through the energy rather than getting stuck in it. This is the perfect lunar event for shadow work, divination, and anything you want to do unseen or in the dark.
The Lunar Nodes
It is worth noting the recent movement of our lunar nodes, who passed from the axis of Aries-Libra to the axis of Pisces-Virgo in January. The nodes are not physical bodies in our skies but mathematical points that indicate where the Sun, Moon, and Earth need to be in the skies to create our solar and lunar eclipses. They are always read as a pair: the North Node (traditionally the Head of the Dragon) is our point of forward-facing fate, the area of life society as a whole will need to focus on, and our South Node (traditionally the Tail of the Dragon) is the point of past-facing fate, the area of life we are moving away from as a collective.
Because we are entering Pisces season at the end of February, we can discern that our first eclipse season is on the horizon. This will be mixed-sign eclipses. As the lunar nodes are still on the cusp of the signs, we will experience a lunar eclipse in Virgo and a solar eclipse in Aries in March.
As we exit our new moon on 2/27, the energy leading up to our set of eclipses will rise. This tends to create much tension; this should be viewed as business as usual. I will speak more about our upcoming eclipses soon.
Mercury
As Mercury moves through Aquarius, they trine retrograde Jupiter in Gemini on 2/3, a check-in on our luck. Mercury is the native ruler of Gemini, but Jupiter is quite unhappy there (both in its retrograde and fall). Jupiter has been out of commission for a while now, and it's starting to show. When you can't rely on Jupiter, you must make your own luck. Mercury is a trickster, after all. This is a concept worth exploring at the beginning of the month.
Mercury passes across the boundaries of the Sun on 2/9, a position often known as Mercury Cazimi or Mercury combust. Traditional astrologers believed that the Sun overpowered the nature of Mercury, and times of Mercury combustion created slow, unintelligent types. I will say that I was born with Mercury conjunct to the Sun within 1 degree, and it is obvious how wordy I am. Mercury cazimi is a reminder that we are coming up fast on our first Mercury retrograde of the year, which will go from 09° Aries to 25° Pisces in March. Stay tuned for that, as it will coincide with Venus's retrograde over almost exactly the same degrees - this is the big meat of our spring season.
As Mercury crosses over the Sun, it also squares Uranus in Taurus - Uranus is often believed to be the higher octave of Mercury. Where Mercury is thought, Uranus is pure inspiration. Stay open to whatever channels are available to you during this time. This will be a great day for writers, inventors, artists, and diviners.
On 2/14, Mercury enters Pisces, the sign of Mercury's fall, as it is the opposite sign of one Mercury rules (Virgo). We might need to watch out for how we speak about ourselves and others during this time. Are we being truthful? Are we being kind? Mercury is concerned with precision in Virgo, and Pisces - ruled by the amorphous Neptune- is anything but. Sometimes, it is good to blur the lines, but often, Mercury in Pisces goes too far. Note here that Mercury's retrograde will include the end of Pisces, the sign of its fall, and Venus will be in her fall while she is in Aries - and Mars is in his fall while retrograding through Cancer.
This is a hint that none of us are at our best.
Maybe we need to judge less and accept ourselves for where we are.
As Mercury moves into Pisces, they square Jupiter on 2/20 - again, we may feel out of time (Mercury) and out of luck (Jupiter). There may be nothing that we can do about it (mutable square), but people may want to cry about it (Mercury in Pisces). Acceptance isn't easy, but it can help make sense of our lives.
As we round out the month, Mercury in Pisces trines retrograde Mars on the day he stations direct and then conjuncts Saturn on 2/25. There are consequences here. We must admit what we have done so that we can move forward.
Venus
As mentioned above, Venus is the vanguard of all of our planets that will enter 00° Aries this year - she does so for the first time on 2/4. Circle that date in your calendar; it's an important one. You may not note it as important this time around (on Venus's first pass), but what is coming up now is going to come back around again at least two more times through Venus's retrograde and possibly more as the Sun, Mercury, Saturn, and Neptune also cross this degree.
Happy spring a little bit early. Except it's not yet spring, and nobody is particularly happy about anything. Venus is in her fall in the cardinal fire sign of Aries because Aries is the opposite sign of her dominion, Libra. Venus naturally desires to play nice, smooth things over, and generally get along, while Aries is the sign of forging ahead, whatever the cost. Unless modified by a lot of watery energy, Aries types don't tend to give any shits about fitting in or playing nice. It is just their way. This costs Venus many of her best traits, and she loses her softer edges.
What if we aren't supposed to have these soft edges during this time? What if we all need to be a bit tougher, if we need to lean into what we believe and STAND UP for it? That is what Venus in Aries does best - she is, by her nature, virtually fearless.
Keep in mind that we are already in Venus's pre-retrograde shadow. This means that every degree she moves across this month will be retraced, in total, three times. She won't move more than thirteen degrees from where she is on 2/1 until 4/16 when she exits her post-retrograde shadow. This means that through a wide enough lens, she will carry the stellium with Neptune and the North Node all the way through from 2/1 to 4/16 for 75 days. In this time, the Sun will move through this stellium, and Mercury and Saturn will join it for their own retrograde cycles.
By weight, number of days in these degrees, and number of passes, Saturn certainly is the heavyweight here, but Venus is no slouch. Remember that, along with Mars, she is one of the two planets that governs how we all get along. Things might start to heat up (metaphorically) as she enters Aries early in February, and then she retrogrades and brings this heat back into Pisces, which might bring things to a true and for-real boil.
I don't say this to scare you, but we should all be prepared. From 12/6 to 4/12, all three of our personal planets will have retrogrades one after another. There is no getting along to be found or had. It won't be pretty or fun.
Set your expectations low, understanding that we are in the lead-up to this all month long. Venus retrogrades on 3/1 (also the day Mercury enters their pre-retrograde shadow at 25° Pisces), so the closer we get to March, the more apparent it might become that things aren't very copacetic. If you can't make heads or tails of other people - even your very closest - know that you are right on time. Venus slows down to a near standstill at the month's end, holding 10° Aries for an abnormally long time; this is going to feel like absolute shit - especially to anyone with a personal planet on or around 10° in any of the cardinal or fire signs.
There's just not much we can do about this except bear it.
Jupiter
After a very uncomfortable retrograde in the sign of its fall, Jupiter stations direct at 11° Gemini on 2/4, the beginning of a better day. Jupiter will move out of Gemini (finally) and into Cancer later this year - look forward to that. Our luck will return, slowly.
Looking Ahead
March is going to be a shit show; there's no way around it. Venus retrogrades on 3/1, and Mercury follows soon afterward - the two are retrograding in nearly identical ways - Venus from 10° Aries to 24° Pisces and Mercury from 09° Aries to 25° Pisces. It's going to be a rough one/two punch. And that's before we even consider eclipse season with a total lunar eclipse in Virgo and a partial solar eclipse in Aries that will form a stellium with the Sun, the Moon, and retrograde Mercury. retrograde Venus, Saturn, Neptune, and the North Node. Yep, it's a lot. Stay tuned.
The Details
2/1 - Venus conjunct Neptune 27° Pisces 2/3 - Mercury in Aquarius trine retrograde Jupiter in Gemini, retrograde Mars in Cancer square Chiron in Aries, Venus conjunct North Node 29° Pisces 2/4 - Venus enters Aries, Jupiter stations direct 11° Gemini 2/7 - Venus in Aries sextile Pluto in Aquarius, Neptune conjunct the North Node 28° Pisces 2/8 - Sun in Aquarius sextile Chiron in Aries, Mercury in Aquarius sextile Chiron in Aries 2/9 - Sun conjunct Mercury 20° Aquarius, retrograde Mars trine Saturn in Pisces 2/10 - Mercury in Aquarius square Uranus in Taurus 2/11 - Sun in Aquarius square Uranus in Taurus 2/12 - Full Moon 24° Leo 2/14 - Mercury enters Pisces 2/18 - Sun enters Pisces 2/20 - Mercury in Pisces square Jupiter in Gemini 2/23 - Mercury in Pisces trine retrograde Mars in Cancer, Mars stations direct 17° Cancer 2/25 - Mercury conjunct Saturn 20° Pisces 2/27 - New moon 09° Pisces
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...now what/who do I want to change my icon too
#Snow's Words (ooc)#I'm on for a bit !!#today was my only day off this week#I have to be at work tomorrow...through saturday#hapPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE#itsonWedbutyeah#I'm not hyped about this week#I don't mind working my birthday#& deff getting holiday pay Tuesday#and OT pay because my 'projected' hours are 46#and that's if I'm clocking in & out at my scheduled times#which...I never do so#probably a 50 hour week#so give me the money
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❄️ Norway as a birkebeiner for the Always With You Zine ❄️
Birkebeinere were soldiers in Sverre's army during the Norwegian Civil War (1130-1217). They were called birkebeinere because of their footwear. They were functioning as a guerilla army, constantly moving around, and so their clothes became worn and they had to use bark from birches to insulate their legs. The birkebeiner army ended up winning the civil war against the bagler faction, mostly made up of powerful families connected to the church.
#hetalia#aph norway#hws norway#historical hetalia#posting this today because I am working on something else rn that isn't ready yet#want to try to finish this other thing tomorrow or saturday as I'm getting a visitor soon and will prob be busy next week#I'm feeling the historical itch recently ✨✨✨ so expect those kind of asks to be answered in the near future#still working through my inbox here 🙏 still have some good asks to get through
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let's see how long executive dysfunction will kick my ass before stress let's me do all the tasks that need to be done in the next 10 hours
#it's “buy new laptop” day but financial related things cause me an unreasonable amount of stress#and i need to go to the bank before i go to the store to deposit the cash i scraped together#and i need to wait until i get paid for my contract work (which is 600$ but it depends on if they send my payments through today or not)#and i need to hope that i get the same employee discount I got last time (I do not work for this store but Im working in the same mall)#and i have to hope that they'll let me use 500$ in gift cards#I have a market on Saturday and nothing set up so I need to paint like 10 more things while in the hotel before I leave tomorrow#I was planning to get up at 9am and it's now 1pm
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🤦🏽♀️
#I’m doing my first garage sale ever#and you guys would not believe how much stuff I’m going to have#my parents went through everything in their crawl space#I got a lot of my clothes that I don’t wear anymore#there’s soooo much clothes and toys#and I can’t even describe how many fucking stuffed animals we have 🤦🏽♀️#if anyone has done garage sales or are familiar with them#how do you price things?#I’m just going to do by table cause I don’t have the time or patience to do each individual thing#but I’m wondering#how much would you price for idk small /medium and large stuffed animals?#or beanie babies#or CLOTHES#how much would you price for kid clothes and adult pants and dresses and shirts#or fuck me I have no clue for the toys#most of them are just old and kinda antiques#nothing is like super old where it doesn’t work or is super scuzzy#and I tried to go through the clothes and got rid of any that had stains or holes etc#anyway it starts tomorrow#I’m doing Thursday - Saturday#maybe Sunday if I want to do just a free day?#just to get everything OUT#whatever doesn’t sell or anything I’ll just donate#let me fucking tell you#we have SO MUCH SHIT#maybe I’ll take a picture to show you guys when it’s all done#it was just in boxes for awhile and now that I’m actually getting it all organized I did not realize we had so much shit 😵#and today is my last day before the sale and man I’m no where near ready annnnd I have Mayas and then a family dinner….#so I have to finish it alllllll tonight after dinner 🙃 wish me luck lol#shut up rosie
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and on the 7th day god said let there be painkillers and humanity rejoiced
#fanya gave me their sick and im working sooooo hard to prevent it from breaking out in full#my veins are 50/50 blood/chamomile tea im gargling saltwater 3 times a day im taking cough drops#and still my right tonsil is red and swollen and burns like hell but i have to work tomorrow and then two shifts on friday and then have a#thing on saturday as well so im just gonna stay silly and power through#thank you to that one doc in april that prescribed me a big box of 600mg ibuprofen that i didnt use bc i sure need them now#soph txts#txt
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It’s only Wednesday and I’m already so fucking exhausted of this week
#being off work sick with covid has given me this huge backlog that is so difficult to break through#like there’s this one report that I would send for review and it would keep coming back with comments. it was my personal Sisyphus’ boulder#although thankfully it has finally been finalised today#but I’ve still more reports to work on tomorrow :(#I want a vacation. I wish it was feasible for me to just like… fuck off to costa del sol for a like month straight#well at least I have a nice lunch with my bf planned for saturday. we’re getting sushi :)#zippy speaks#work rambles
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chat we are SO BACK THERE WILL BE A POST TOMORROW
#I FIGURED IT OUT#i was worried id stop writing once school started but i think im getting the idea if i write on the train.... it may work....#but i did write the beginning of it on the plane....#well we'll find out next week saturday if i can keep up my terribly rigorous schedule of posting a grand total of um ONCE A WEEK#(absolutely NO REASON I SHOULDNT BE ABLE TO) (SUMMER SCHOOL ISNT HTAT HARD)#anyways WE WILL SEE !!!!#i have so many good reqs in my asks rn in reality i need to be posting like. 2 times a week idealy#like theres 10 (about to be 9) wdym its going to take NINE WEEKS TO GET THROUGH THEM SOMETHING IS WRONG#SORRY LITERALLY NO ONE CARES MY BAD anyways TLDR WILL POST TOMORROW !
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ok. we are now over 40k words and wrapping up the final draft. i think the first chapter will get posted on sunday :3c
#N posts stuff#my sense of the week is All fucked up bc my manager has been scheduling me So odd lately i keep thinking it's already like. thursday RIP#so take Sunday with a loose grain of salt - it's just the first day i'll have a day off so it's a good anchorpoint; but it could be earlier#today at some point around work i'm going to sit down and read the entire thing start to end#and take notes on anything that bugs me - pacing; accidentally dropped imagery/themes; etc#and then Tomorrow i'm going to sit down and go through and fix it all according to those notes#i'm not anticipating that taking a long time thankfully; if i hit a good stride it could easy be done pretty quick#but my saturday shift is causing a lot of stress so i'm trying to plan for if that fucks up my flow - hence why i think sunday at the lates#and then i'm thinking i might keep an 'every three days' posting schedule; seems fitting lol#bleed more fic
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alright kids this queer kid is going to bed bc they have work tonight and the whole weekend assfghjkl HAPPY DAWNTRAIL EA DAY HAVE FUN 💛💛
#🍊.txt#will be desperately trying to slip time in so i can pick up viper and picto and mess with them#im working 12 hours tonight#6 hours tomorrow night#and 5 on sunday night#so ima see if i can log in when i wake up to grab jobs#then after work tomorrow night work on MSQ to start getting closer to finishing EW#and then same again post shift sunday#but im hoping to grab viper and i rly hope i like it bc i wanna main it maybe?#suits haylin more in my head#so i will probs just level it saturday night and learn how to play it#so i can maybe go through the end of EW with it#and go through DT with it#idk but yeah#im not TOOOO fussed about spoilers tbh#i'll probs just scroll really fast past stuff like i have with the da4 stuff#so yi :D#have fun guys 💛
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rude as hell of my goofy ass brain for depriving me of dopamine surges because i didn't attain arbitrary card goals today
#text#personal#writing#nano#nano2023#wf#like yeah okay two cards was a Lot for a Family Holiday (derogatory)#BUT COME ON WE WROTE THREE AND A FUCKING HALF THOUSAND WORDS ABOUT IT AND WE HAD FUN!!!!!!#but no no we didnt finish a card so no dopamine rush for u#gee thanks goofy ass brain appreciate it 🙄#anyway im no longer sure if i can finish this book by the end of tomorrow lmao#MAYBE but like. itll be a Push (i have 3.5 cards remaining and i have not yet broken more than 2 in a day)#but i do think the last two will be Shorties#i think im ALMOST done with this one#i think the next one MAYBE can be shorty#and i dont have to go to work about it#would LOVE to be done before Saturday because saturday is birds morning#would love to come home and crash and sleep through all sunday#im close im having fun im so so sleepy
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by the way i am going to get to asks and such soon, i just am super busy at the moment (yay for 6 day work-week in a field where your days off are dedicated to doing even more work) but i have blorbo thoughts and i will absolutely make them everyone else’s problem as soon as i have more than one (1) hour of brain power a day to do something that isnt Work or School related
#taylor.txt#spring break next week…rejoice#it could be a lot worse. my placement is awesome. the grading load wont be terrible by any means#the bigger issue is just. im teaching math. and i am not trained to teach math nor did i even go to school here so like#i dont know what the curriculum is like lol. anyway. tl;dr real life is A Lot at the moment. im having fun but god am i tired#also not clear at all from this but to contextualize i work on saturdays and am doing my student teacher things through the week#which this time around is full-time 100% workload teaching. but they throw us in in february#hence the unit planning. which i wouldnt have been able to really do before meeting my kids anyway#but yknow it mightve been nice to like. have known the novel theyre studying right now ahead of time or something#…….damn. thats the thing i forgot to do today. i was going to watch the movie my other class is studying right now since im supposed to be#taking over the teaching and need to be able to help with their essays. oh well. tomorrow me’s problem i guess
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My head hurts so fucking much
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9bdd6ede9d3f9d0d56592f1b36f2360d/d15b6338ee835a3e-93/s540x810/7bf0acac2c56a2ccd1baceff6fb9dc2d1190a540.jpg)
#rambles#please give me anxiety meds#its fine i just have to get through this week (its not fine)#im working. so much!#7h today 7h tomorrow 4h thursday over 9h friday at MY OLD JOB!!#8h saturday again#if this seems normal. i am disabled#its worth it i want and need this job. but jesus christ#oh and i worked 8h monday TOO!!!!
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the thing is if i was presented with the opportunity to be reckless rn i'd take it immediately but i have not put myself in any situations so far where i would now be presented with the opportunity to be reckless does this make sense like i would take the opportunity i want the opportunity but i think i need to have made different decisions leading up to now to have the opportunity presented to me..............
#anyway maybe tomorrow night i'll go to a gig and make friends with someone#or friday or saturday#and it's not really being reckless because it's like . well i would think it through . i'd just do it anyway .#idk . i'm kind of tired maybe i'll just sleep . i'm just stressed about tomorrow icl#i don't know what to do and i know i'll lose it if i don't do anything#and i would love to be able 2 go oh i'll just be cosy and comfy and read or smth but i have worked out that being @ home#when i have a roommate ? is not actually all that chill........#not through any fault of hers just the fact that it's not reallyyyyy my space it's Our space#maybe god will be kind and i'll get a message tomorrow morning asking if i can work bc i don't have uni rn#idk . idk idk idk idk idk . hm . no it'll be good worst comes to worst i'll just go for a very long walk.............. <3#i really like doing things by myself i just don't know what to DO i need to be able to write again but everything i write has been SHIT#oh well it'll be gorgeous and beautiful and who knows it could be an incredible day <3 there's always a possibility <3
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i put off a project that definitely requires two months of work until the weekend before it was due and i’ve only really been putting in effort for the last 15 hours but i think i can get it finished
#may need to miss work tomorrow though ahahahaha#gah why am i like this#i tried to work on it earlier this week but the universe was against me! spilled water on laptop#glasses broke WHILE SITTING ON MY FACE#got a cold#didnt want to do it#and so instead i only did a lil bit friday night and a lil bit all saturday and then ive been marathon sprinting my way through it all today#this is so ridiculous#but hey fingers crossed i get it done because this is iliterally a culminating assignment that i have to pass to get to graduate next month
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i hate when i start dipping down emotionally again i forget sometimes theres like mental shit i have to deal with
#ive felt so blank all day nothing seems satisfying to do#i do need to go to work to see if they changed thes chedule#they had me force assigned today at the start of the week#but tomorrow is a normal day off and technically if we havent worked 2 days in a row they cant schedule us through the weekend#like say sunday and monday are my weekends if i wasnt there saturday or sunday they cant schedule me that monday#but because of the shutdown idk if theyre going to honor that#technically i think i should have worked today idk why i wasnt force crewed
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