#I have to assume it’s kids who dont buy their own food? I understand the length to control a b1ng3 but from a purely financial place. How.

[neonbodyache]

those tips that r like throw your half your food away at every meal or spray perfume on all your leftovers are so wild to me. how do ppl have that kind of money to spare 😭

[shamelessfaceless]

Love, Pain, Death, Repeat II

Navigation | Marvel Masterlist | Part I

Pairings: Dark!Wanda Maximoff x F!Reader, Billy and Tommy Maximoff x Mom!Reader, Agatha Harkness x F!Reader (platonic)

Summary: Why can't you understand? You were hers, and you will always be hers. You are her solemate. What you don’t understand?

Warnings: Dark!Wanda, mention of cheating, mention of death and suicide, stockholm syndrome (not sure about this one)

Wc: 1550

A/n: Im looking for beta reader (i dont have friends for this😔).

Btw If you saw other post i published before this.. NO YOU DIDNT. It was a dream, and lets keep it that way <333

“Boys, go downstairs, I think mommy doesn't feel very well and I need to take care of her today.” Her voice is soft, opposite of what you heard last time you saw her.

Your kids, you assumed, get off you. One in a green shirt whispered something to the other one, and they started running. They looked like a perfect mix of you and your ex. Something you really wanted to have. Even as you were younger you always wanted to have your prince charming, and few kids. After a few years, the only thing that changed was prince to princess.

“Why I am here? Is this hell?” After learning that Wanda cheated on you, you started feeling like you don’t deserve love or even kids.

“Aren’t you happy? We can have everything we want here! No Natasha, no Vision, no other people we know.” You looked at her disgusted. She made you believe that you’re not enough, and now she wants to build a dream, more like a nightmare to you, about you and her and your kids.

“Why me? Why not him?!” In a second she was next to you, her hand on your mouth.

“Keep that mouth of yours quieter. We Don't want boys to be suspicious, right?” Her green eyes always made you melt, and she kept her hand on your face. You wanted to give in, but decided to push her away. “Behave” She mumbled sitting next to you.

“Tell me, why me? He truly loved you, as much as a bunch of wires could love someone.” She started stroking your hair.

“It was all just about mind stone, it was all that made me interested in him. I needed to understand this, you are my true love.” Tears falling from her eyes. You couldn’t decide if they were real, or she only wanted to make you forgive her.

You faced the wall not wanting to look at her any longer. She left without saying anything more, after a while she came back and left breakfast on the bed. You were scared to eat it. Who knows if she didn't poisoned it. After a few days of staying in the room and only going to the toilet you decided to finally go to the kitchen to fix yourself something to eat and come back to the bedroom. You started learning her routine, most of the day she wasn’t at home. Taking boys to the school, and going straight after that to work. Boys.. Tommy and Billy, you learned their names yesterday, are coming back from school by foot. Wanda always comes back in the evenings. You need to share bed with her. Feeling her hands on your body makes you feel disgusted and at the same time safe.

“Mommy! Do you feel better now?” Little boy asked. You feel teats building in your eyes, as you looked in his own, almost the same color as yours. Every look at boys is tearing down your walls. Every look at them makes you question what you protect yourself from?

“Yeah Tommy, Mommy feels better now. Do you and your brother want something to eat?”

“Mom was giving us money to buy food at and after school.” He confessed. “But.. Today I bought something else.

“ Tom…”

“But wait!” He runned to his room and came back as fast as he could. Holding something behind his back he looked at you with puppy eyes. “Please don’t be mad, I just… I wanted to buy you this! “He gave you a few flowers. Your favorite flowers. “I wanted to make you feel better, and mom told me you love these!”

You wanted to cry really hard. Feeling a knot in your throat you decided to kiss his forehead and take flowers. You put them in the first vase you saw and started searching for things for pancakes.

When Wanda came back home, the first thing that hitted her was the smell, and just a while later boys came running to her, mouths full of food, and telling her you made them pancakes. She smiled nodding at their words. Everything she could think of was you, and how close she must be to finally break you.

Day after day, you were getting closer to the boys. To Wanda you were closer to breaking point. You even started making dinners for boys. For them you even started learning how to cook. After a few weeks of making dinner only for them you also started leaving something to eat for Wanda. You could not talk to her, but you didn't want her to make herself food after a long day of work, and the voice inside your head wanted her to tell you how good your dishes are, how proud of you she is. Today you decided to bake pizza. Boys wanted to help you but it ended up in flour fight.

“And how will I clean it?” You asked looking at Tommy who has all his hair white, and Billy who has his face in white powder.

“Well, mom can help!” Said Billy.

“Well, maybe I can.” Her voice made you shiver. You looked at the clock, she was home earlier. “Boys, go clean yourself before you eat, maybe we can even watch something together.” They hugged her and speeded to the bathroom.

You wanted to call for them to come back. Staying with Wanda in one room was the last thing you wanted to do right now. After the conversation on the first day you woke up here, you never talked. You didn’t want to hear her voice, you were scared. Not only things she could say, but you could actually brake and fall in her arms.

“What do you say sweet girl, want my help?” She gets closer to you. “Or you maybe want to help you also with something else?” You felt her knee between your legs. Oh how long you weren’t touched down there. Knocking on the door saved you from answering. Wanda only huffed and went to see who disturbed her.

“Hey sweetie! I just wanted to ask if you have some sugar. You know, it's late, and all the shops are closed.” After a while an older woman came into the kitchen.

“Love, why don’t you give our neighbor some sugar.” Wanda said. You only nodded. After a few seconds you were handing a stranger a cup of sugar.

“Thanks honey, oh, i forgot to introduce myself, Im Agatha” She said sweetly. You felt hope, maybe she also knows this world is fake. Maybe if you and her get to know each other you could stop Wanda. You saw a spark of hope and didn’t want to give up not now. But Wanda answered faster than you could think about anything you could say.

“And that's Y/N, she's not very talkative, selective mutism.” She lied without stuttering. You hated her almost the same as you loved her. You couldn't fully hate her, everyone but not her.

You looked into the woman's eyes with a pleading look. You didn’t care Wanda could see that, you only hoped Agatha would understand you. Soon the dark haired woman left and Wanda was again next to you. Her face is millimeters of yours.

“What would you say If I give you another child, hm? You weren’t here when boys were small. “Her lips are almost touching yours.”

“Ew! Moms!”

You were glad Billy finally came back. Thanks to your luck for saving you from Wanda twice. Rest of the evening went nice. You fell asleep while watching a movie. Every night you hoped that she would spare you, she would finally give up and let you be free. Oh how wrong you were. Wanda had plans for you, she needed her pretty girl, and no one could change her plans.

Agatha came a few times when Wanda wasn’t at home. You talked to her trying to see if she also knows if this whole world is fake. When you weren’t sure and asked her about this, she said she knew very well about what Wanda did, she wanted to save you. And she tried. You had everything planned, everything seemed so easy. But one day Agatha disappeared. She no longer came to your house, she wasn’t at home. After a few weeks new neighbors moved in. 

And the day when you couldn't take it anymore came earlier than you expected. When Agatha wasn't there anymore you lost your last hope. No one could help you. There was no one else knowing about what Maximoff did. When you opened your eyes and saw the mother of your childs getting ready to work you had decided. Slowly going behind her you hugged her. 

“Thank you for what you did for us Wands”

[dimancheetoile]

https://www.tumblr.com/dimancheetoile/768118702185037824/i-dont-understand-people-who-refuse-to-give-money you can't possibly believe this? Charities need to give reports of their operations. Poor people, even if you assume are not scammers, crucially lack the means to operate on bigger picture. I dare you to find out what help is provided to poor people in your whereabouts (fckn france, they must exist!), also given by charities, so you can provide information to the poor people instead of providing them one-time help. Extreme individualism wont help shit. Organise, join a charity in your area to see how they operate, instead of trying to fix the world by yourself.

wow, someone woke up angry.

first, calm the fuck down, don't talk to people like this. second, this is not an either/or situation. while i'm not the OP of this post, what i understood it as and reblog it under the assumption of is the particular subset of people who just fucking love throwing shade at homeless folks asking for money on the street and saying "they'll just take your money and buy alcohol/drugs with it" and instead insist that charities are forever and unconditionally the way to go. they are not.

yes, charities are normally required to give reports. guess fucking what, you can lie on your reports. didn't you hear about the Completionist scandal a while back? there were reports about his charity, didn't stop him from keeping all the money to himself though didn't it? also: autism speaks. also: the many kid charities that copy make a wish or the ones doing wigs for cancer. also: the WE charities. i've stumbled across countless reports by actual journalists over the years talking about shady charities doing shady shit with your money.

i also love the bucket load of assumptions you've stuffed your message with. unlike most internet users and you know what, what the hell, lemme make some assumptions of my own, statistically unlike you too, i've been involved in organisations, non-profits, i've organised events, rallies, fundraisers, been a disability activist for years, actually worked to improve accessibility, worked on a panel for representation where i had an impact on school lunches that still echoes to this day. i'm building a non-profit right now to deal with the feral cat population in my village, i just donated nearly a thousand dollars to a research fund targetting my rare genetic disease after cutting off and selling all of my hair. i'm certainly not against charities.

but my dude, you live in fantasy land if you think charities are the end all-be all of community action and financial help.

"I dare you to find out what help is provided to poor people in your whereabouts" and here's another assumption and a glaring example of your lack of education and the disinformation you're spreading. guess what bozo, there's no help provided to poor people in my area. y'know how i know that? i live $300 under the poverty line right now and for the past 26 years of my life I have never, ever lived above the poverty line for even a single month. i know what it's like to be poor. my parents do. my sister does. there's no fucking help for poor folks, disabled folks or poor disabled folks where i am. it's called living in an everything-desert. food desert, medical desert, we've got it all. there isn't a single doctor less than an hour away by car and no public transport to get you there if, like many people, you don't own a car because this isn't the fucking US and we're killing the planet a little slower here than in that hellscape. there are only two options to buy food here and prices are up to x2.5 higher than in the city that's, again, over an hour away.

who's helping us? fucking no one. there isn't a single goddamn charity that ever poked its urban nose in our mountain. you know what does help though? the meals some kind people cook for the old people of the village. the small community center where normal people give away clothing, toys, books and shoes where anyone can just drop by and take some of it. that's not a charity. that's direct, people-to-people help. if it didn't exist, if we were waiting for charities, there are dozens of families in the mountain that would get none of the stuff they get for free otherwise.

so fuck off with your righteousness and don't send angry messages to people you don't know. get off anon, coward, and come spew your ignorance again. i'll point and laugh, it'll make my fucking week

[anime-alyssa]

genshin boys valentine’s headcanons!

figured i’d be at least a little festive. these are kind of long so sorry sdkfsdfsd gonna put a read more. implied spice but not graphic - and i’m pretty sure i for once in my life kept it gender neutral so go me

these were kind of hard to do since i dont do hc’s really, i make fics and yall can for sure tell where i started to struggle skfsdfsd

they are also on ao3 so do not be alarmed 

Diluc:

He’d be acting like he didn’t give a shit about valentine’s day but this mf is a softie

Thinking he didn’t care, you’d offer to just stay in for the day or something

Honestly as long as it was just the two of you, you don’t really care

“What? No, we’re going out to dinner. I already planned it.” 

You were really surprised, since he hadn’t voiced an opinion on the holiday before

To him this year was different - you were married, so he assumes it should be a bigger deal

You dressed up in your favorite outfit and met him at Angel’s Share later that day and  you swear you saw his jaw drop to the floor 

He regained his composure before he could tease you about it, taking you to dinner as promised

He held your hand from across the table and listened to you ramble about whatever

You’d try to ask him things, but he’d shake you off, not wanting to talk about himself

Nothing was out of the ordinary, just a normal dinner

Until the walk home, when he pulled out a present for you

“I had this made for you.” 

A necklace made out of a Crystal core, melted into the Pyro symbol like his vision

You started to get weepy as he put it on, pressing a kiss to your temple and wrapping his arms around your middle to embrace you

You turned back around to kiss him on the lips

After that he couldn’t get you home fast enough

You thanked the archons that everyone else at the WInery was home for the night

Namely because he fucked you right against the door once you got him 

And on the reception desk

….. And the table

Kaeya:

Listen, this man dotes on you 

We all know Kaeya is the romantic type to the max so this is his day

He wakes you up by kissing up your body and making you orgasm

After that, he has to go in and work for a little bit 

You don’t really mind, he gave you a bag of Mora and told you to buy something nice because he’s taking you to Liyue for a few days

He plans on celebrating for days, apparently

“We have a lot to celebrate, don’t we? It’s been quite a year.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong about that

When you get to Liyue, immediately your taken out to dinner and told to order anything you wanted 

You almost feel bad when you glance at the bill, saying it's not fair he did everything when it was supposed to be for both of you.

Later on that night, you and Kaeya walked around Liyue harbor together

“You didn’t have to do all this for me - really.”

He looked at you like you were crazy and smirked 

“But I did.”

Imagine the look on your face when he got down on one knee

After you stopped crying, you somehow managed a yes

Once you get back to where you were staying, he was on you

Except now it’s time for you to show him how you feel

He doesn’t complain when you do

The reminder of your days in Liyue are spent in a similar fashion: eating and fucking

Childe:

He has it planned down to the second

When you woke up he was gone, making you upset

But when you walked out of the bedroom and saw the dozens of roses, all was forgiven

He left you a note, saying he’d be back shortly but to get ready to go out.

Once he was home, he found you and immediately embraced you

He was always one to shower you in compliments to begin with but today he was extra complimenting on everything about you

He planned the entire day around your favorite things to do, from going to the tea shop and to the bookstore

You tried to fit in something he liked to do, but he fought you

“I’m happy seeing you happy, you know that!” 

God damn it, he made your heart melt 

You got home that night and he cooked for you

And it was actually really, really good

He got you a few presents too, of course

Custom made jewelry, of course 

You fell asleep on him that night, with his arms wrapped around you and your head on his chest

You had been cuddling for what felt like hours, exchanging loving kisses between conversation

You didn’t miss how he said he couldn’t wait till next year

Xiao:

Thinks that it’s incredibly dumb 

“It’s a waste of time” he says

You get visibly sad, thinking now that you’re not gonna do anything for the whole day

You were gonna make him his favorite and everything, as a surprise

Now you’re just sad 

Oh fuck oh fuck why are you upset red alert Xiao - 

He asks Zhongli for advice, which isn’t any fucking good cause he tells him to show you how much he loves you 

How the fuck does he do that?

He doesn’t know

He settles for trying to comfort you in his own way, cuddling with you and apologizing for being an ass

You accept, and offer to make Almond Tofu for the two of you, but he says he’ll make it instead

It isn’t very good, but the thought is what matters

He tried and that was enough for you

After dinner he gets very touchy

That damn Harbinger was with Zhongli, he mentioned this is also something women like

He wasn’t too keen to believe him, but the way you moaned just now made his dick twitch

The rest of the night he shows you just how much he really loves you

Albedo:

You didn’t think he knew that Valentine’s Day existed, honestly 

Imagine your surprise when he woke you up with flowers, and saying he took the day off

…. But that you needed to go out for work first

You didn’t argue, he hardly ever took time off, so you’d go with him to get his supplies

Even if that meant you’d fucking freeze in Dragonspire

Once you got to his workstation in the mountain, he suggested a way to warm you up

Your heart skipped a beat, until he pulled out a warming potion

“What’s wrong? Drink it and you can be warm again.”

You drank it, and then explained what you had thought he meant

He laughed in your face, of course

“Don’t worry, that will come… after dinner.” 

Now you were fidgeting with anticipation the rest of the damn night 

(that was also something that didn’t happen to often, damn workaholic)

He started to notice at Angel’s Share, but you blamed it on the Dandelion Wine

He saw right through you, but of course made it up later that night

Right before you were about to go to sleep, you felt him slip something on your finger

It was a ring - obviously handmade. It glowed a pretty yellow color, much like his vision

“Happy Valentine’s, my love.” 

Zhongli:

He doesn’t quite understand what the big deal is 

“Why is there a day dedicated to love? I say it everyday, right?”

He thinks it's just a consumer-made holiday

Which it is, obviously

But god damn it you just want your boyfriend to treat you to fucking dinner

Even if it’s just Grilled Tiger Fish, that would suffice considering the former Archon never remembers his damn Mora 

You thought you had died when he walked you into the finest restaurant in Liyue

You refused to order until you had proof he had Mora on him

He agreed with a laugh and showed you that he had plenty 

He had arranged the table himself, apparently, moving both chairs next to each other

This was so he could hold you throughout the evening, make sure you were okay 

And whisper raunchy things into your ear while you tried to watch the entertainment like everyone else 

For someone who didn’t understand the hype he was feeding into it quite a bit 

He may be ancient, but he still had game 

By the time you were done, your thighs were red from you rubbing them together

You tried to make it into the bedroom, but he was quicker than you were 

He called the rest of the night getting his Mora’s worth 

Scaramouche:

“You’re kidding me? You care about that?”

You should have known that would be the reaction, honestly

After begging hard enough, he agrees to dinner

You claim he gave in, he claims he was going to do it anyway

(he gave in)

He spent almost the whole time irritated that everyone was lovey-dovey

“Scara, that’s how it is today. We look like the odd ones out.”

He couldn’t have any of that, so he moved his chair next to yours and ate with one arm around your shoulder the rest of the time 

You dragged him around to do things that you saw other couples doing

You know, like holding hands and going for walks, eating some street food

Couple things

He was quiet for most of the night, humoring you

You saw a nice necklace that you wanted while you were walking, but was offput by the price

They wanted how much Mora for that?!

You were eating a snack when Scaramouche walked away, saying he’d be back 

A few minutes later, he clasped the necklace around your neck

“I don’t want to hear it. Isn’t that the whole point of the holiday? Buying shit for your partner?” 

You tried to tell him it wasn’t just that, but he shut you up with some kisses

When you got home, he shut you up with more than just kisses

“This is what I was looking forward to today.”

[og-danny-dorito]

[ Tanjiro Headcanons To Fuel The Fluff/Angst Tank ]

He Is Baby™ thank you very much and i love him with my whole heart

- hi hello i would like to share my thoughts on this baby cause i love him v much

- he gives me the vibe that he would def love anything strawberry related. like strawberry milk, strawberry shortcake, strawberry yogurt- the list goes ON

- he would eat them more often if they weren't so godamn expensive, and most of the time you can only find those kinds of products when in the city and he mostly travels through the woods rather than through heavily populated areas. he does get them when he can though, and usually has some stocked up when he and nezuko leave rural areas

- thats not the only fruit he likes though! hes also a huge fan of cherries but he gets those even less since they're even MORE expensive. he also very much likes mint chocolate chip icecream! something about the clash of dark chocolate and refreshing mint is just so good to him, and usually he’ll try to look for that specific flavor if theres any icecream places nearby. my basis for that?

- thankfully though he doesnt really buy things from others since he just gets most of his food from the surrounding forest. you see, tanjiro literally lived in the woodlands for most of his early life before the whole 'incident', so hes accustomed to being more of a hunter-gatherer when it comes to those sorts of things

- he knows a whole bunch of stuff about forest plants and topography for that reason specifically, and can make food out of pretty much nothing due to having to go through some rough winter times that required scavenging

- overall though hes a pretty good cook! his father and mother both liked to cook and bake and all that before they died, and, being eager to help and learn, he usually watched them when they did or asked to help with preparing the food

- he actually probably has a lot of domestic skills, now that i think about it. things like sewing up ripped clothing or repairing damaged items are almost muscle memory to him since he was raised to value what he had and not aimlessly spend his money due to his humble beginnings

- he’s actually more comfortable with simple things rather than lavish ones since thats what he grew up with. being a demon slayer means that he does get commissioned to do things sometimes or paid for it, but he usually gives most of his money to poeple who need it after spending some of what he has on more efficient and useful things like better fabric for clothes and repairs for things that he doesn't have the skill set to fix himself

- due to this humble attitude he has for things, he barely ever really treats himself to things he enjoys. he usually puts others before himself and thus forgets about his own needs, leading him to often deny taking care of himself if he deems to 'not have enough time' or 'not being important enough”

- usually forcing him to sit down and eat or at least take a moment to drink some tea can calm his nerves a ton, even if its only just for a second

- i'm pretty sure that his favorite drink is green tea (or strawberry milk), actually. its just so naturally calming and relaxing that he usually uses it as a staple for calming himself down or taking a breather from the stressful life he's lead so far

- for someone that barely takes care of himself hes awfully adamant about others taking acare of themselves. oh, you haven't slept in three days because of work? guess what you're going to sleep right now. no, dont Mention how he keeps moving even though he should be in bed because of a broken rib, your needs come first now go to sleep

- deeefinitely the mom friend type in more ways then one. its p obvious that he already takes care of Nezuko, Zenitsu and Inosuke as good friends of his, but hes kinda adamant on taking care of them almost like they're younger than him or something. this doesnt mean that they can’t take care of themselves of course, he just kinda feels the natural instinct to protect people he values if he can (mainly due to the fear that he’ll suddenly loose them without making it clear he cares about them first but we will unpack that suitcase LATER in the list)

-for that reason i can safely say that he's probably fantastic with kids because of his gentle nature. hes just so soft and pure that children naturally feel calm around him? its weird how like a baby will literally stop crying in a city full of people just because they saw tanjiro wave and smile at them and as SOON as hes out of eyesight they start crying again. also tanjiro holding a baby? you CANNOT tell me this man wouldnt softly sing some lullaby he remembers from his childhood to a child cradled in his arms, fast asleep. and the smile he gives to the person who finds him like that is BLINDING i cannot comprehend the purity-

-the EXACT same thing goes for animals. its straight up canon that he understands (to an extent) what birds are saying when they're chirping to one another, so its probably safe to assume that he might understand a little bit of what other animals may be saying when they communicate

- yet another effect of living in the forest most of his life and being way too observant at his age :p

- when dogs bark he responds to them out of instinct, knowing what they mean. when some pig just randomly snorts at him don't be surprised when he just says "oh, thank you!" in the most earnest tone possible because he probably knows what the animal said and is responding to it honestly. answering like he's pretending to know what it means would be dishonest, and thats too out of character for the sunshine boy

-its also gotta be mentioned that tanjiro physically rejects the concept of being dishonest. i swear to god I'm not making this up- when hes lying its so easy to tell because his face is physically rejecting the concept that hes not being sincere

-this goes for pretty much anything- he cant really blatantly lie without shifting in place or making a weird expression. its no expection that when asked about his feelings that he can barely keep a straight face by saying that he's "okay"

-theres just so much pent up grief and sorrow for so many things that its hard to really say that he's "just fine" or "alright" some days. the accumulation of trauma and guilt has lead up to this constant dread boiling in the pit of his stomach that he'll fail one day, and this would've been all for nothing

-he'll die one day without his goals being met, without Nezuko being healed, without his friends safe, without so many things that he thought he could fix that will eat him up until he fixes them. he doesn't have frequent depressive episodes all that often anymore since Sakonji helped him with that (kind of, it was kind of a group effort by his other superiors, the Pillars, too with some reassurance and advice since a good portion have Been There Done That with the survivor’s guilt and the like) in terms of teaching him how to meditate more frequently and search for positive outlets for his negative feelings. he helped him accept that it was okay to feel bad about it, but he couldn't give up, no matter what. because “What worth was your dream if you just gave up in the end?”

-and so he doesn't. he never gives up, on anything. he refuses to give up when his friends are in danger and the odds are against him, or when hes face to face with an eldritch demon who's been alive longer than the numbers he can count. tanjiro is incredibly persistent in his efforts, big or small, and makes a conscious decision every time to not abandon what he worked for because the phrase "What worth was your dream if you just gave up in the end?" motivates him to be better than who he was yesterday and try his best to reach his dreams

- because of this he's a heavy believer that most people can change. i say most because I'm pretty sure he knows Muzan will never change, or some of the other terrible people in the world. he's accepted over time that he can’t help everyone, but he'll be damned if he doesn't try his hardest in figuring ot if they are truly, genuinely, capable of being better. so he's incredibly supportive of people who actually do make efforts to improve themselves because he knows how hard it is to come from such a bad situation/bad mindset and reteach good values and habits

- that doesn't mean that poeple are expempt from their punishments of course- everyone deserves the consequences of their actions to be better to know what to improve on, but he has sympathy for the poeple who's consequences stop their lives short (example, countless demons that he feels terrible for because they came from really bad situations)

-since he knows how hard it is to improve on anything- he’s very very supportive to people who do that for themselves or for others. in fact, he would go out of his way for about anyone to make their life a little better but if he sees someone struggling their way to their personal best he'll happily be a help to them in any way that they can. oh, you were training really hard today and had no success in perfecting a certain technique? its alright, you can just lay down right now while he fixes your bath water and tomorrow he'll help you out with it in any way he can. hes the best cheerleader!

-overall tanjiro is very sweet and kind, even though he has personal problems with his own demons and feeling as if he's a burden most of the time. for all this suffering, he views the prosperity of the people around him worth it and is selfless to the end of the line for those whom he cares about

[ ~Thank You For Reading!~ ]

[cryinggameff]

Seventy-Three

Randi

It felt like we were in limbo for the last week. Cayden and I weren’t fighting, I was back home, and we were together, but it was different. It was like a dark cloud was looming over our heads, threatening. I still was not sure if I could stay with Cayden no matter what, even if the results said the boy was his, and he knew that. So I was confused, and he was on edge. We both tried to distract ourselves, me by buying stuff for the baby and him by working on his new businesses.

I was on my laptop looking at cribs when Cayden got home that night. I looked up when I heard the door and a few moments later he walked into ththe living room where I was sitting.

“Why you still up?” He asked. It was almost 2 in the morning.

“Baby was moving too much, I couldn’t sleep” I said, closing my laptop. He paused. I could tell something was up just by his voice. That’s when I noticed he held an envelope in his hand. My heart stopped for a moment. I looked from the envelope to him. “Is that it?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said, “must have come this morning.”

“Have....have you opened it?”

“No,” he said, looking at it for a long time. I tapped the spot next to me and he sat down. “I don’t know if I can.” I nodded, understanding. Eventually my anxiety was just too much and I put my hand out.

“I’ll do it,” I said. He gave it to me and I quickly tore it open before I lost my nerve. I unfolded the letter and started reading. After a bunch of confusing graphs and tables was the written results.

I didn’t realize I had stopped breathing until i let out a relieved breath.

“He’s not yours,” I told him. Cayden let out a sigh of relief and pulled me into him. It was like a weight had been lifted.

“Fuck, I feel like a nigga on jerry Springer,” he mumbled, in disbelief. I let out a shaky laugh, my heart still recovering. “I’m sorry I put you through all this shit Ran. I should have known my past would catch up with me eventually.”

“I know you are Cay...and I’m sorry I made you worry that I’d leave you. I know I promised not to hold your past against you, and I went against that,” I looked down at my hands, too ashamed to look him in the eye.

“I’m not mad at you,” he lifted my chin. We looked at each other for a while in silence. Looking into his eyes something crossed my mind. I put my hand to his cheek.

“I know your face like the back of my hand, how can that boy look like you?” I tilted my head. Cayden picked up the letter, reading for himself. His brows came together in confusion.

“This says that the samples were similar, not father and son, but we’re related somehow,” he said. I was so lost, but Cayden was already on his feet.

“What?”

“No, it can’t be,” he said, shaking his head. I grabbed his arm.

“What Cayden?”

“There’s only one way that;s possible. Think bout it,” he said, clenching his jaw. It took me a minute but eventually I said,

“Trey.” Cayden nodded.

“He must have cheated on Jenny, with Keisha, and he knew I was hooking up with her too” he sounded upset, or hurt. “Nah Trey wouldn’t do that to Keisha or to me,” he sat back down. I bit my lip and touched his shoulder.

“I’m sorry you had to find out like this. I know he was your older brother, but he was human, he made a mistake,” I tried to console him. I couldn’t imagine how it would feel to have the image of someone you looked up to tarnished, especially when they were gone. I could tell he was angry, but there was no one to yell at.

“I wonder if Jenny knew,” he said, rubbing a hand over his face. “I need to tell her,” he said. I shook my head quickly.

“I don’t know about that Cayden. You two already fought, and this will hurt her. That was her husband Cay.”

“He has a whole kid that she didn’t know about, what happens if she sees him. Yo, imagine if she had been at Ty’s party!” He shot up again.

“You have a point,” I signed, “if i saw it as soon as I set eyes on the kid, so will she.”

“This is some fucked up shit,” he grumbled. I tried to get him to sit again, pulling him down. I guided his head into my lap, running his hair.

“I know. But you know what?” I said softly.

“What?” He asked, his eyes closed.

“You have a piece of Trey now, a way to stay connected to him,” I pointed out. He never answered, and I assumed he was thinking about it. We eventually fell asleep on that couch.

Cayden

Jenny brought back so many memories, she may as well have been my sister. When I saw her I just wanted to smile or laugh, because all the memories were tied to Trey and bad things we used to do.

“You’re  lucky I even came,” she said, folding her arms. That was fair, i thought.

“I know,” I nodded. “I acted like an ass. I just never prepared for that, you moving on from Trey.” Last time we had seen each other was the part where she brought her boyfriend and i didn’t take it very well and lost it on both her and Randi.

“I’ll never completely move on from him, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life sad. I can’t, and you shouldn’t either,” her face softened a little.

“You right, and I know you’re not trying to replace him, I didn’t mean that. I guess I’ve just been clinging onto him so hard because I’m scared I’ll  start to forget, and I’ll feel guilty to move on. Like sometimes I’ll forget when I’m with Randi, or thinking about the baby, and I’m so happy that I forget for a bit, then i feel so guilty. Is that weird?” I locked my jaw.

“No, but that’s not something to be guilty about. I realized, after all these years, that Trey wouldn’t want us to stay sad forever. You’re allowed to be happy. It’s good to Forget sometimes, even if for just a few minutes, that he’s gone, for your own mental health,” she reached for my hand. I gave her a small smile and she smiled back. This made what I had to tell her harder.

“Look Jenny, the reason why I called you. I need to tell you something. Its about Trey,” I said. She was confused.

“Ok? What about him?” She looked scared, like it may be something she didn’t want to know, which this was.

“I don’t know how to say it, so I’m just gonna put it out there,” I said. She nodded. “Ok. Trey cheated, while you guys were together....with Keisha. The girl I was with at the time, don’t know if you remember her but...” I trailed off. I expected her to cry, or scream, something. But she looked apologetic.

“I know sweetie,” she said.

“Wait? You knew about it?” I was even more confused.

“I found out about it and confronted him. But we worked through it, and I eventually forgave him. I didn’t want to hurt you, so I asked him and Keisha not to tell you, he was going to confess. Then he died and I didn’t want to ruin the image you had of your brother, so I kept it to myself,” she said, squeezing my hand. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I never knew. You guys always looked so happy and, well perfect.”

“We went through a lot, but god, we loved each other, the dangerous kind of love. Nothing could have broke us up,” she said.

“I understand that,” I mumbled, knowing that was me and Randi.

“But how did you find out?” She asked. Well shit, this part would for sure shock her.

“Keisha has a son, and I thought he was mine. Turns out we are related, but not as father and son. He’s Trey’s,” I finished. She dropped my hand and her mouth fell open.

“A-are you sure?” She stuttered. I nodded. She looked like she wanted to cry. “I want to see him,” she said urgently. I made a face.

“Um is that a good idea? That’s just gonna hurt you more, and I don’t want you and Keisha to have problems,” I shook my head. It sounded crazy to me.

“That was the man I loved, with everything in me. So I’m telling you Cayden, if Trey has a kid out there, I need to see him,” she said, looking me dead on. I sighed.

“Ok. I’ll give you her number,” i said.

I’m not sure what Jenny expected, but I also understood. I was curious about the kid too. Would he remind me of Trey? Talk the same, or laugh the same as him?

When I got home I thought Randi would be there but she wasn’t so I called her.

“Where are you?” I asked.

“The salon, we have a big bridal group today remember?” She sounded like she was moving around, and there was a lot of noise in the back.

“Are you even supposed to be working anymore? The doctor told your ass to chill ,remember.” I was irritated because she always ignored shit that the doctor told her. She was sick most of the pregnancy and the doctor had told her she could have the baby early if she didn’t take it easy especially towards the end.

“I’m sitting. And the baby isn’t coming for a few weeks still, I just wanna get things in order before I leave,” she said. “How was it with Jenny?”

"Well apparently she knew about Trey cheating," i shrugged to myself, "the kid was a surprise though."

"I can imagine. So what did she say?"

"She talking about she wants to meet him, she gonna talk to Keisha,which is gonna be interesting, i know Keisha," i opened the fridge door looking for something to eat. There was leftovers from last night and i pulled them out to make myself a plate.

"This is like a soap opera, but like a sad one" she said.

"Legit. So when you coming home?" i asked.

"I'll leave soon. I didn't know you'd be home so early," she said, "But i really gotta go babe," someone was calling her in the background.

"Aight, catch you later."

I went to watch a game i had recorded while i ate my food.

Randi got home about 2 hours later, and damn she was looking good. Her makeup was all done and so was her hair.

"Who you looking good for?" i asked when she came down the hallway from the entrance. She laughed. She was even wearing red lipstick which she knew was a weakness for me.

"I wanted to look good for work today that's all," she said, "plus, who gonna be checking for me?" she gestured to her bump.

"Oh dont play that, i seen dudes looking at you when we go out, and i know that nigga you work with be eyeballing you all the time," i reminded her. She rolled her eyes.

"Our reno guy? You still on that?" She asked. I had almost fought the dude when he was eyeing her in my own house. I threw her a dirty look for playing dumb and she giggled. "You so bitter you can't even compliment your own wife?"

"I said you looked nice," i said still mean mugging her.

"No, you asked who i was looking good for, thats different," she stopped in front of me, arms crossed. That just made her boobs pop out of her dress more. She sat down in my lap and i wrapped one arm around her waist and put the other on her stomach. Things felt normal again, us just sitting here, and i was so thankful that things worked out the way they did, that she was still here. She was having my first kid and things were right again.

"You look aight" i said, looking up from her belly to her face. She threw me a mean mug this time.

"Why are you home early anyways? Don't you have things to do at the warehouse? You weren't there yesterday, you didn't go today, that never happens.”

"Sean is pretty much handling everything now, all i'm doing is closing my old deals and collecting what's mine. So i really ain't gotta be there," i told her. I had settled the deal with Sean a while ago to buy me out and take over the business.

"Really?" she couldn't believe it. I chuckled at her shock.

"I told you, i'm out. I promised you the future you wanted and i meant it" i shrugged. She threw her arms around my neck and hugged me suddenly. I was surprised but wrapped my arms tight around her.

"Thank you," she whispered by my ear. I kissed her head.

"Speaking of the future, what's up with the house? Do you not want to move anymore?” I asked, confused. She moved her face out of my neck. She had been so excited about it before but now when id bring up moving, since the baby was about to come, she was real silent. She bit her lip and shook her head. “What happened?”

“I tried packing, and I couldn’t. I don't know, we have so many memories here, it’s home. I mean yeah, it doesn’t have the countertops I want, and you got shot in our kitchen which is a bummer ” she paused and we both laughed. “But I can’t see myself bringing the baby home anywhere else but here.”

“Then we stay here,” I kissed her forehead, “and get new countertops.”

“I also may have started on the nursery while I was stress shopping so now we have to stay," she said quickly.

"Is that why we've been getting all those deliveries?" i asked. She leaned in and kissed me instead of answering.

[livelaughlove143sworld-blog]

I am so proudv#proudmommabm

I love myy 👧 👧 👧 girls. Cherish any moment you get to together. I was thtreated at gun point so i They all had such horrible lice!i had to give chas a treatment all. Not going to leave anyway. But feared for my children who didnt baith. The. The all had headlice so bad i had to use two kits on her(and that hapoened she came from over there to stay the night. My kids power and water was shut off, (but they still had the internet to play the placre s f tation. Kristy sold her food ssmtamps for drugs an cigarettes. Savanah didnt kmlike ne even though they have been together since she was 16. Everything he knows in bed , i taught him when were

Sexualy active(willingly???😭)

I made him into a man. When we first got together, he didnt shower, brush his teat or chang his clithes.  He was to much in hid driver game.

He had the a thing for "resident evil" and " madden"

He sn

Moked weed from the time he was nine. He got a ninth grade education 3x! Wow. Right now he has kidnapped my youngest, chasitie. Be will not give me her addre$ even though the "told"her i know. The mother fucker has abused me long enough. Its time to x

Stand up and face the croud. So 🚺 ladies a gentlemen

Stand up for yiu kids yneed to be patient, loving, ❤ careing, kind and praise them when they do a job well done...dont just sit ther and mak spaghetti and say 'go to your room. And of course she never say your A+ on a paper. . you gjrs(and) boy mean the 🌎 world to me. Do you rember bilki staying the night at kristy' old house? Well savanah was with him you dont do that shit aroud little girls you never talk bad about the other parent!!!that way the stay children and not streesed out children. I went through a lot of abuse to protect chasitie/ so i hope shes ok now.i dont understnd Why all of you my ( haters) ars frinds with my kids on facebook! Please explain...

I await your anzwer

Also who the hell punches 👊 my daughter in the face and DRAG HER BY HER LONG HAIR!Up a flight oc steps! Hmm...i wonder..how did lawna get her wrist broken. I DONT UNDERSTAND why my kids had matressrd on the floor and were locked in their rooms.

No.fitted sheet no pillow cases . Halie and lawna were separated. They got the shit beat out of them when they cried for me.  I went to their fathers work all the time begging to give them back to me! I bought my kids food. They showered at my house because they had no water.  All i wanted was to love and cherish every moment with my children. Then, rumors were spread that i was a crack head and hated them. Do you want to know what happened to me for 5 years? I was constantly raped, malested, drugged, and abused. The only thing good out of that was nanna. She was a 72 year old woman whos own family wouldn't take care of her! She taught me a lot. I was her personal care giver. Even with me being disabled, i took care of that wonderful woman until the day she died in my arms. Her family didnt give a fuck about what i did with her. I had to move back in with them and continue to be raped while his wife was at work. He even came to nannas when i lived there, he had a key 🔑. The one time or so that i would run and hide from him and tell him i had a male friend that i talkted to everyday, they moved new people in to pay their bills and kicked me out with no where to go. Well i found a place not knowing he was going to repeatedly rape and melest and drug me. His wife was in on it too! I had to sleep in the same room they did on a fouton. When he realized i wouldnt let him near me, they found a "wild"21 year old, they Didnt need me anymore. They took my rent money then took me to live with my sister and friends. Iam telling part of my story so my kids will understand where ive been. Then on march 29, 2019 i lost my mother. She suffered to, she wasnt taken care of properly and i know this first hand for the month (November) that i spent with her. Her "care taker" has her ashes and is already get married to another woman, yet, he wouldnt marry my mom? It took 19 years for him to buy her a ring 💍. He was not a "beliver"in medicine so he didnt give my mom the correct dosages to keep her comfortable. He would shut off her oxygen machine and watch her not be able to breath!i turned it back on and gave him a look. My mom suffered from sever dementia so she wouldn't know if or when she took her medicine, and he took advantage of that. One time when her medicine was out , there were 4 boxes (full) of liquid morphine. She only gets one at a time when her meds come in. He would yell, cus, scream , and tell her how stupid she was! Me and him butted heads with the way he treated my mom all those years. She deserved a much better life. She was an independent, loving, caring person who would help anyone she could! She was extremely organized and on a schedule everyday. She put me on one. She had several mini-strokes in her sleep from all the drunken stress he put on her. They slept in seperate bedrooms. They didn't hug, kiss, say "i love you" how was your day, nothing. My mother loved pepsi her whole life( not coffee) when she was in hospice in their living room. He bought coke instead. She would say i dont want this i want pepsi he would say drink it or apple juice. I have yet to see my moms ashes and belongings of mine from childhood. Chasitie was the only one who really knew her. We celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas there. I have the pictures. I miss my mom! I'm afraid of men 😨. To make things clear, just because my sister does drugs doesn't mean i do, so quit assuming.

Halie, lawna, chas, : i am still "your mommy bomby full of love!" And always will be. So girls, now that you are all teenager's i can finaly explain my story.

Woman & men that go through #abuse. Stand up for yourself!

[mothmansmilkman]

Big ol Information Sheet About My JJBA Part 5 OC That I Love (AKA I know im the only one who cares about this but i gotta put my self-indulgent shit SOMEWHERE)

TW for weapons, child abuse and endangerment, and other canon-typical Jojo stuff 

Name: Rio (last name unknown)

Stand: White Room

Age: Unknown, but assumed to be 14 (celebrates the day she was discovered after her attempted murder like a birthday)

Height: 5′2″

Favorite Food: Cherry pastries

Favorite Movie: The Little Mermaid

Favorite Band: Nirvana

BACKSTORY

Rio doesn't remember much about her childhood, but she remembers living in a house with a loving mother and father.

Her life was changed one night when she was 4 years old. As her mother layed her in her bed, she told Rio that no matter what she heard downstairs to not scream or go down there.

A terrified Rio heard the sounds of her parents being murdered hours later. As the perpetrator was searching the house, he discovered Rio huddled in her bed. But, instead of killing her along with the rest of her family, he decided to kidnap her.

For years, Rio was kept a slave in that person's house. Only hearing of the outside world through TV, radio, and overhearing conversations between houseguests, she had begun to have fantasies of what the world outside the house must be like.

She would find out on the day she was murdered. In the middle of the night, her kidnapper took Rio to an alley armed with a Stand Arrow. Since a Stand Arrow leaves no visible wound after the act, he assumed that Rio would die and whoever found her body would assume she was a runaway that died from malnutrition or something.

However, Rio awoke hours after having the arrow stabbed into her abdomen. But strangely, the alley she remembered being in had changed into a pink castle. With the small bits of knowledge she had, she just thought to herself "I must be dead. So this must be what heaven looks like..." and went back to sleep. 

Now Here’s Where We Get Self-Insert-y!

I’d like to imagine if Rio would end up in any of the canon Vento Aureo groups, she would be in La Squadra because 

1. I want to see these dudes dealing with a literal child

2. There’s a line in the song White Room “She was kindness in the hard crowd” and I like when the musical references tie in to the character’s personality. 

At the time of Rio being discovered, I personally headcanon that La Squadra wasn’t fully formed, and the only members being there were Risotto, Sorbet, Gelato, Formaggio, Proscuitto, and Melone. (Illuso, Pesci, and Ghiacchio would be the more recent members) (Sorry if all this is wrong, i havent actually read the manga ;_;)

Anyway, one of the members would be concerned about a pink castle being where a pink castle would not usually be. And they would be more concerned when no one else on the street even payed attention to it, as if it wasn’t there. But, as if the Stand knew someone was there, a door appeared on the castle’s wall. Hesitantly, they opened the door, ready for a battle. 

...instead, they saw a disheveled, malnourished, young girl curled up on the dirty ground. When she opened her eyes and stared up at him, she finally spoke. 

“God? ...how long have I been dead?”

Eventually, the gangster would take Rio to their home and ask for her story. The original plan was to let the child take a bath, have a meal, and then take her to an orphanage. However, certain details made the gangster feel more pity, like how Rio didn’t know enough about her past to remember her own last name or birthday. But, as soon as she described her “death” via a gold arrow, the assassin realized something bigger. 

If someone had access to a Stand Arrow, there was a chance they were part of Passione. It would be dangerous to leave Rio alone. This would eventually (after explaining the situation to Risotto), lead to Rio becoming a resident of the La Squadra safehouse. 

Life With La Squadra

Rio would be hesitant at first to ask La Squadra for anything. Not just because they’re intimidating criminals, but because she was already grateful for everything they had done for her. They saved her life, but also bought her clothes and things a kid would need. They also figured out that she was probably 10 years old. Her only request upon being given permission to live in the safehouse was that she would be taught how to read. 

As time passed, the walls, both mental and physical (White Room’s fault for the physical ones), between Rio and the other members began to fall. She had begun to view every member as a father figure, even referring to them as “Papa [name]”. 

Learning to read also showed the members that Rio was intelligent along with being kind. She had developed a habit of checking out books from the city’s library and copying the text by hand into a notebook as she read it, giving her a copy of her own. While she enjoyed children’s books, she enjoyed non-fiction even more, because it gave her more information about the outside world. 

The other members would actually be happy to take Rio out in public when they weren’t on missions. (Especially Formaggio because hed act like she was his real daughter to try and look like a dilf) It would always be entertaining to go from having an intelligent conversation with a booksmart 10 year old to watching them get excited over ice cream or a big teddy bear. 

Rio’s favorite things to collect would be stuffed animals and warm blankets. Also books, but she copies hers from the library, so she feels no reason to want to buy any. 

Despite being happy and calm most of the time, Rio still has trauma from her past. Certain triggers will suddenly end up with White Room suddenly appearing around Rio, with the memory in question being displayed on the walls for all of the members near her to see. When White Room fades, Rio has usually started crying, and needs a few minutes before she can speak again. 

When Rio eventually started copying medical textbooks, she asked (because no one hid the fact that La Squadra killed people) if they could bring a corpse back so she could dissect a body herself. Sorbet and Gelato would be the only ones to say yes, and actually follow through. 

Rio eventually learns about Christmas. On her first December 25th with the gang, she gives everyone a knife painted in their favorite color. 

Since I headcanon Pesci and Ghiacchio as the youngest of the La Squadra boys, Rio would call them her Big Brothers. 

White Room

The whole time she’s with La Squadra, Rio has been training White Room. Eventually, she learned her stand has 3 abilities:

1. It can create a room.

2. It can manipulate the room. The size, the color, etc. She can even display her own thoughts onto the walls. 

3. If she understands something completely, she can create a copy of it that only exists inside the room. 

Rio realizes she can use her stand for killing was when she was 11. A stranger trying to rob her while she was running an errand alone brought up a fight-or-flight reaction, leading to White Room crushing the attacker as if they were inside a trash compactor. 

When Rio learns that she can copy items that she understands, the first thing she asks is to learn how a gun works. The rest of La Squadra had known she would end up as part of Passione someday, because honestly they couldn’t see her having anywhere else to go, but they were wary of letting her join THEIR part of Passione since there was a very high likelihood of death. However, Rio quickly learned the ins and outs of weapons. She proved herself to be worthy as a member of La Squadra when she completed a mission, killing a man by slitting his throat with a knife created by White Room. At 11 and a half years old (possibly because no one really knows how old she is), she became the youngest official member of Passione at the time (and possibly youngest ever). 

Rio prefers to work with her father figures on missions rather than work alone. Her strategy is to secure the perimeter of the area with White Room, so the target can’t escape and no one else can enter. Then, she waits with a sniper rifle. She wants to have her papas and brothers backs, and act as support in their battles. It makes her feel like she’s returning the support they always gave her. 

How Rio Would End Up In The Events of Vento Aureo

Rio would be 12 years old when Sorbet and Gelato die. As the picture frames were being opened, she would recognize a body part as something she saw in a medical book. 

The realization that it was her Papa Sorbet’s body would click in her mind, but she’d refuse to believe it. As the members of the team place the frames in order, they all start to regret letting Rio be in the same room. 

She later gets the news of Gelato’s death. 

Rio openly weeps at the funeral. This was the first time her heart ever truly felt broken, since she wasn’t old enough when her real parents died to really remember them. It takes Rio a while to start acting like her old self again. Like the rest of La Squadra, she never forgives the Boss for this. Despite feeling anger when Risotto told the gang to just “Forget about Sorbet and Gelato”, she understood that any act of revenge that wasn’t thoroughly planned out would make her or worse, more of her papas and brothers to suffer the same fate. 

AU Where Bucci Gang and La Squadra Team Up Because That’s What I Wish Would’ve Happened (Also i just dont want to write Rio dying like they do in canon)

Seriously tho if Giorno or maybe buccellati would've gone on the shopping trip this au probably wouldve happened

Rio would be 14 at the time Giorno happened and the events of Vento Aureo took place. 

Rio would love having people closer to her age around. I imagine she'd become friends with Narancia and Fugo (because Narancia can have fun and can give her the childhood fun she never had, and Fugo because finally someone with brain cells). I imagine she’d see one of their study sessions one day and just join. 

Tbh Trish and Rio need each other. They need other girls in their lives.

Rio is okay with Mista, but likes Sex Pistols more. Buccellati wishes it wasnt too late for him to adopt her

If the boat scene would still happen in this AU, I think Rio would go with Fugo. It's not that she's scared of fighting the Boss, it's because La Squadra doesn't know if they can handle her dying at such a young age. They tell Fugo that if he's leaving, to take Rio with him in order to track down any possible living relatives (or anyone who could possibly know Rio's true identity)

Before they leave, Rio tells the group to find her again when they come back. She had faith that with their numbers and combined abilities, the 2 gangs could take down whatever was in their path. Sadly, when Giorno reaches out after the events of VA, only a few survived.

Rio would, of course, end up joining Passione again like in Purple Haze Feedback. This last image is a design of an older Rio (maybe age 16-18)

[prankprincess123]

People assuming that just because I'm straight, white, Christian and educated means I've never struggled and that I'm some niave rich privledged kid is really annoying.

I always try to look on the bright side and just like my parents am too proud to admit when things are bad; and I fully understand that there are alot of people in the world who have it alot worse than me. But I've had a few conversations lately about the issue and I've had enough.

I'm mostly self educated because we never had money for the best schools or extra curricular activities like dance or sports or music. What I do know of those type of things is from free teams at school, or going through my mom's old piano books from when she was a kid, or the few classes that my grandparents paid for as Christmas presents. I learned about politics and government by reading the newspapers as I was delivering them to make enough money to buy any non-nessisary items I wanted. And because my dad: a kid who grew up in the hood in an area that was half abandoned because the residents had to move to homeless shelters, decided to be active in politics and tell all of us kids what was going on and why so that we dont make those mistakes when we're old enough to be in charge.

Both of my parents have had two sources of income most of my life because the economy is so bad, and neither of them had a chance financialy to finish university, that otherwise we wouldn't have a house. I remember in early elementary my classmates talking excitedly about how they were going to Disneyland or Hawii for spring break, and how they were excited to be going back for the 5th time; while I wondered if we'd have enough money to go to the pool for an afternoon. There have been months where we've been living off of food storage, with the power shut off and no hot water, while praying that mine and my sister's babysitting money is enough to make up the last little bit of mortgage for the month. There was a month in grade 10 when I was the adult of the house because both parents were having to work so much, and we literally were surviving off of instant noodles, including the then not even 2yo baby who 6m earlier had been malnuroushed and in the foster system. She hadn't even been with us long enough for her adoption papers to be filed at that point, and even now when she's been with us for 3.5 years she's still dealing with the neglect from her first year and a half of life, and having to drink weight gainer because of how malnuroushed she was.

I also suffer from several permanent injuries and health problems that could have been avoided if we had the money to pay for a competent doctor or a physical therapist, as opposed to just the 'free' health care system that doesn't work. And I probably needed a psychologist at 3yo to deal with the PTSD from watching one of my little sisters dying when she was a day old, never having left the hospital, as I tried with my toy doctors kit to fix her. And again a psychologist was probably needed at 9yo when I watched my little 3yo cousin get pulled out of a lake unconscious and not breathing; before being pushed inside, handed 3 screaming babies, a crying 3yo and a catatonic 7yo who had seen even more than me. Or again when I went into depression at 12yo because my older cousin, who I'd become co-dependant upon because of these issues, was moving away; I was in deep depression and nearly a hermit for most of JR high as it got to the point of near hallucinating and relying on my Maladaptive Daydreaming to get through it. But we couldn't afford anything to help any of those times, so I got through it on my own.

I coped with all of these struggles by escaping into books and shows where they were personally dealing with homocidal and even genocidal maniacs, fighting in wars where they lost friends left right and center, and being kidnapped by evil organizations. And suddenly my problems didn't seem like they mattered! How could these struggles seem relavant when one of my favorite fictional characters as being forced to be a child soldier and watched her little brother sacrifice himself, while her twin brother became a POW, and then she was caught in political manipulation and blackmail that almost caused her to become her best friend's step mother; while an even younger character in that series has just been captured and tortured for months before loosing her actual soulmate. (Granted I probably shouldn't have been reading that specific series at 8yo, as it caused alot of mental issues, but those were self inflicted...)

I've even struggled with religious discrimination because despite living in a province with a very large Mormon population and being in one of the highest concentrated areas, the majority of people in the area are fiercly atheist or so fanaticaly devoted to their branch of Christianity that they hate any other sect. On top of that there is alot of anti religion and infringement on religious rights in Canada right now to the point where children are getting in trouble for praying silently in schools, and getting forced to attend classes teaching things that most religious people disagree with or believe are best taught at home; specifically because the government is anti religion and anti family.

So don't tell me that I'm privledged because of my race or religion. Both of those things have minimal effect on class or suffering; especially in a broken economy in a country where everyone is an immigrant, and where the government is trying to discreetly stomp out religion. I know alot of people have it worse than I, and lately things have been getting alot better to the point I'm not worried anymore, but I have lived through alot of crap and just because other people have gone through more doesn't erase my struggles.

[bnha-hcs]

Some Starbucks Rage

So me and @bnha-villians-hc-and-imagines​ were originally going to work on some Starbucks AU stuff because we both suffer in that hell but it became less of an AU and more of a rage induced ranting session so I’m posting it here so y’all can do with this as you will. Be warned there’s a lot of cursing and caps lock lmao

STARBUCKS RAGE:

Me, Tiki:

You come in every fucking day and can’t seem to figure out how the creamer works for whatever fucking reason so I always end up having to pour it for you IT’s NOT THAT FUCKING HARD JUST UNSCREW THE CAP

You keep coming in and just saying “mocha” and I don’t understand what you’re asking STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE I’M STUPID WHEN I ASK YOU HOT OR COLD JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION PLS THERE’S A LINE

Lmao fuck,,, If you come in one more time and ask for a cup of whipped cream I will have you feel the wrath of god.png

You came up to the front counter and keep changing your mind about which mug you’re buying and I’m handing them back to you to put away like, you know, good people do and you’re getting mad at me saying you don’t want it PLEASE JUST PUT THE FUCKING CUPS BACK WHERE YOU FOUND THEM

“Is it too late to change my milk from regular to almond milk??” Me, holding the finished drink and about to set it down on the bar: “No, I guess I’ll Make a BRAND NEW ONE”

If you say “just a little bit” one more time while I’m toasting your fucking bagel I will shove it down your fucking throat oh my gods

I asked you about a million times if you wanted your (insert pastry item here) warmed up and you said no so I hand it to you and you suddenly go, “Oh wait,,, :c can I have it warmed up?”Me, inserting a gun into my mouth: “sure”

If you keep coming in and ordering off the fcuking “secret menu” one more time I’m going to launch you into the sun

yOU ALWAYS COME IN HERE WITH GIFT CARDS THAT HAVE REWARDS ON THEM WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHY DO YOU HAVE 6 REWARDS AND WHY DO YOUR CARDS NOT WORK ON THE FUCKING TERMINAL AND I CAN’T SEE THE NUMBERS ON THEM TO TYPE THEM IN FUCK YOU

You ate 7/8ths of the fucking panini and then came back to complain that it was cold NO I’M NOT GOING TO FUCKING REFUND IT

You and your group of friends came in completely drunk at 8 in the morning pls stop yelling at each other to shut up and just order something AND STOP FUCKING WITH THE DISPLAYS

I ask you if you want room in your coffee for cream and sugar and you either say “just cream” or “just sugar” and i don’t think you fucking understand that they’re the fucking same JUST SAY YES YOU NEED ROOM

If you spill your entire drink all over the fucking bar don’t just stand there and look lost for fucks sake julia CLEAN UP YOUR GODDAMN MESS.

“Do you have (insert breakfast sandwich) right now?” “no we don’t sorry.” “WELL WHAT DO YOU HAVE??” Me, two feet away from the display case: “We have whatever’s in the case” “Well what’s in the case??” I DON’T KNOW KAREN WHY DON’T YOU USE YOUR EYES AND FIND OUT??

Don’t get fucking mad because you have to wait two seconds for the pike to brew I’M SORRY WE HAVE TO BREW IT EVERY 30 MINUTES WOULD YOU RATHER NOT GET ANY AT ALL YOU MOLDY DONUT

Sorry i don’t know all the ingredients for every single syrup we own I DON’T FUCKING KNOW IF PEPPERMINT HAS DAIRY IN IT BUT I WOULD ASSUME NOT

nO i can’t fucking cut your panini or breakfast sandwich in half I don’t have a knife stop asking

You came in asking if you could buy a bag of chips that we don’t sell and you literally have the bag of chips what the fuck where did you get this bag of chips sir did you just STEAL A BAG A CHIPS TO BUY IT AT A STARBUCKS

No i’m not giving you a fcuking sleeve for your cold drink THIS IS WHY WE RUN OUT BY FUCKING NOON BC BOO BOO THE FOOL CAN’T HOLD A COLD DRINK APPARENTLY

FUCKING There aren’t any fucking soap suds in your goddamn coffee sir THEY’RE NOT SOAP BUBBLES It’s a goddamn reaction of when the carbon dioxide and the bean oils combine it makes the bubbles. It’s not soap. For fucks sakesIT GOES AWAY IN 2-3 MINUTES AND GUESS WHAT ASSWIPE THE MORE BUBBLES THE FRESHER THE COFFEE SO YOU CAN KISS MY CANDY SWEET CANDY ASS

////

@bnha-villians-hc-and-imagines​:

You always mobile order but you dont fucking come get your drink until 45 minutes later and i H a T E you

You come in. Everyday. Asking if we have pumpkin spice. It is fucking march. STOP.

You ordered a starbucks doubleshot on ice with 12 shots with no cream or sweetener. And asked for it to be filled with cold brew instead of milk or water. For the third time today. Are you okay? ... Seriously, are you okay?

I saw you stuff handfuls of our splenda and sugar packets into your jacket. Who are you and why are you like this?

No you cant hand me all your trash through the drive thru window, fuck you.

I'm taking an order over the head set, taking money from the window and struggling to also put a lid on this frappaccino- YOU CAN WAIT, PERSON AT FRONT COUNTER.

I was scheduled to work with two people over a peak period, both didn't show up. I am running the store myself, this isn't sweat these ARE TEARS. (Tiki im sorry u lived through this)

Please dont yell at me if your card declines. That is all.

Getting angry when I dont laugh at/agree with your racist/sexist/transphobic/homophobic joke doesnt make you right or a victim. I hope you drive into a tree.

No im not going to use my partner numbers on your order???? Who??? The fuck???? Do you think you are????

Stop smoking in drive thru. STOP IT. FUCKING STOP. STOP.

Its 9pm. OF COURSE WE HAVE LIKE NO FOOD ITEMS WE ARE CLOSING DOWN THE STORE U DUMBSHIT.

i cant pick out artichokes from your sandwich what the fuck? Is this subway? No.

I dont care about your diet. Stop telling me that its cheat day.

If im mopping. Dont. Walk. Through. My. EFFORTS. Please. Im not even finished with half the store. Just go to the other side its 3 steps away please.

Dont say “coffee” in the drive thru and drive off to my front window you fucking ignoramus.

Get off your phone when ordering. Fuck you. And your phone call.

Im not looking at your laptop while im sweeping don't give me a side eye, for fucks sake.

I SAW YOU STEAL THAT PACKET OF CHOCOLATE COVERED GRAHAM CRACKERS. AT LEAST TRY TO BE SNEAKY.

If i cant scan ur panini at front counter, it doesnt mean its free. Please stop making this joke. Im just going to put it in manually. Please stop trying to take it from me. I need to warm it- please- stop- ITS NOT WARM PLEASE STOP- please. Please. *4 minutes later once they have their coffee* “uh. No one warmed up my panini” *they hold up the panini that they SNATCHED FROM ME* me, stabbing myself and performing seppuku; “tell my mother i love her”

You walked into my store and cut in line. Why are you upset that i tell you to move? Why? Who are you? Who raised you?

Just because you call me “darlin’” doesnt mean i will flirt with u. You're like fucking 46. I am 20.

STOP. GIVING. YOUR. ORDER. IN. THE. PASSENGER. SIDE. OF. THE. CAR. WHEN. ORDERING. AT. THE. DRIVE-THRU. I. CANT. HEAR. YOU. JUST TELL YOUR DRIVER WHAT YOU WANT SO I CAN HEAR THE ORDER PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU.

“I want a vintage (yes) white chocolate mocha with 3 pumps of raspberry” “venti?” “vintage” “..venti..” “VINTAGE” “okay.”

“Hi welcome to starbucks can you please hold on a moment for me” “CAN I GET A UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, TOASTED WHITE CHOCOLATE MOCHA WITH NO WHIP, EXTRA HOT WITH EXTRA PRIVILEGE AND I WANT IT DOUBLE CUPPED/// Me, Juggling 3 paninis and trying to take money from an old lady who doesnt know what silence is and is telling me about her 5th grandkid picking his nose; “hi welcome to starbucks i hope you fucking choke”

If one more god damn person looks at me, in my fucking eyes, and tells me they wanted their latte iced when i asked 459 times if it was hot/iced then i will choke a bitch.

“Can i add to my order. At the window. After i paid, and after you've given me my drinks?” me, crying; “okay”

You came in, ordered a kids temp hot chocolate, and now you are complaining that its. Not. Hot. Enough? Go die.

Im sorry that we ran out of cakepops Sharon, but calm the fuck down. Please.

Hi i noticed you came through our drive thru/store at 9:58pm and I just wanna let you know that everyone in the store hates you with an unrelenting rage that will hopefully melt the skin off your face. Oh? You need 4 caramel fraps and 2 black and white mochas, both iced with no whip and half and half as the base? Fuck you.

////

[lavida-delaluna]

taggy thingy shmingy idek :_)

Thanks to both @whatsruiningmylife and @giggleboxx3000 for tagging me, i feel blessed, i’ll answer both of yours in the same post. THIS IS A LONG POST IM SORRRYYYY!!

@whatsruiningmylife q’s

1. Do you collect something? If yes, what?

I do, CDs and Vinyl mainly, but i have an extortionate amount of Metal Hammer UK and Kerrang from the last 10 years. I guess my makeup collection counts too haha

2. Do you like going to the cinema?

I do, its one of my fave past times, I don't go as often as I used to tho, rip me

3. Would you rather travel to the future or to the past?

oooh hard one, For the past I would want to go to a time I wasn’t alive in so I can form memories about it (just take me with Bill and Ted <3). As much as I would love to be a kid again, seeing life for what it actually is rather than the history book version would be great. It’s Kinda the same with the future one, I wouldn’t want to experience my immediate future as I'm gonna do that anyways, but I would want to go beyond my death to see what new music is out and how society is at that point. Overall tho my inner 80s child is like FOOL JUST GO BACK IN TIME TO THE 80s SO YOU CAN BE GLAM AND NO ONE WILL GIVE A FUQ

4. What song got you into your favourite band?

OOOOOO, If i take GNR as my fave band then NOVEMBER BLOODY RAIN!! i mean the song speaks for itself and to hear it live twice made me the happiest girl in the world. 

5. What country would you like to visit?

At some point, Antarctica, but any Nordic country too, and the rest of the world (im taking 10 years out for travelling only, rip my bank account)

6. If you could see any band live, which one would you like to see?

Already seen GNR, which was lit af, but Motley Crue (dont even care that Vince can’t sing). Still in denial about the final tour haha

7. What is you favourite fruit?

Pineapple maybe, its oddly shaped and im odd :)

8. Cats or dogs? 

I Mean

9. Summer or winter?

Summer for the freedom, winter for the cosiness 

10. Sunny days or rainy days?

Well I’m British and y’all know about our opinions on rain, but I’m also British and if the temperature gets over 20 degrees here its time to take a day off and live in the freezer (#perksoflivinginthecity), but sun is obviously better.

11. Sunset or sunrise?

I’m still sleeping at sunrise, but seeing the sun set on a beach <3

@giggleboxx3000  q’s

1. Favorite childhood memory?

umm, maybe just thinking about going to my nan’s after school and watching tv, BRITISH CHILDREN’S TV was lit in the 2000s, so much choice on just 2 channels, analogue tv <3

2. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?

Maybe married, maybe with a child, idek. career wise i hope im doing something i 100% enjoy tho, thinking about what i might be doing now idek. 

3. Do looks matter?

Yes and no, I just want someone to be open, caring and adventurous as I am. 

4. When eating out at a restaurant, do you clean/throw away your trash or do leave it on the table?

I assume you’re talking about like fast food, then i’ll clean up, don’t treat the employees like that smh they already have enough to deal with. but at a ‘posh’ resturant then i’ll try to help the waiting staff there too by stacking plates and stuff before they come. 

5. What does the word “love” mean to you?

An etheral connection with anyone who understands you, isn’t afraid to open up to you and wants to experience life with you. It can be both platonic and erotic. 

6. Opinion on time travel?

my blog is a shrine to my own personal nostalgia and the nostalgia i feel with the 80s. just take me away to the era with hairspray clouds and men who aren’t afraid to wear tight spandex and makeup <3

7. A random stranger comes up to you and tells you their personal business. What do you do?

Listen, and see what i can offer them, if they are talking BS then i’ll try to shut it down.

8. What’s a song you like by a band/artist you can’t stand?

Like R.I.P. Jani but omg this song haha 

9. What should you be doing now instead of answering silly questions on Tumblr?

UNI WORK OMG, legit can’t wait to graduate this yr!!

10. Ice cream or frozen yogurt?

I’ve only had ice cream I think so that, flavour wise, caramel things <3

11. Would you end a friendship with someone if you don’t share the same interests (movies, music, hobbies, etc.)? If so, why?

Nah, a lot of my friends irl don’t have 100% the same interests as me but its cool cuz we bond over other things and make memories with that, i would love to have a friend irl who was like me but at the same time im glad i have diverse friends. I just need a concert buddy now :) 

woo hoo i am done!!

SO I have to make q’s now.

Have you ever gone to another country before? If so, where was your fave? If not, where would you like to go?

What’s an artist or album that is underrated and that you wish more people knew about it?

You’re given 1 million of your home currency, how many shoes do you buy?

Finish this quote ‘I wish that we can...’

Listen to the video at the end and let me know what ya think 

What’s your fave hobby?

Where are you on the spectrum of half full and half empty?

When did you start to get into music?

High five or fist Bump?

Fave youtuber?

If you didn’t have to do anything towards it (test, qualification, etc.) what career would you like to have?

That vid for Q5

I tag @slashs-head-is-fuzzy , @deadghoulehtt @prime6mover @himynameisizzy and anyone else who wants to do it (if @whatsruiningmylife and @giggleboxx3000 wanna do another one they can haha ) Thanks again!!

[herdustisverypretty]

would you rather (autumn edition)

Tagged by @kelandry5​

I APPRECIATE THE TAG A LOT BUT I AM BOTH AUSTRALIAN AND PAGAN SOO UHHHH 

WE’LL SEE HOW THIS GOES! MAY OR MAY NOT BE HUMOROUS AND/OR OFFENSIVE. 

go apple picking vs go on a hay ride - apple picking as in like... picking apples off trees? or is this another way to say apple bobbing? cause i know what that is lmao that’s originally a pagan tradition associated with samhain. no clue what a hay ride is tho. I’M GONNA SAY NEITHER?????

scary vs sweet - in regards to what?????

sweaters jumpers vs boots

socks vs mittens - mittens are like... gloves with no fingers rite??? not fingerless gloves but like. i’m not explaining this well am i. 

bonfires vs football - ok wait i’ve gotta look this up, cause i am always getting confused between uk vs us vs aus football. OK ITS GRIDIRON. i mean i knew that was a thing but is that all you have in america??? those shoulder pads man... so tacky. so uh, neither, cause i’m hella scared of fire. I LIVE IN AUSTRALIA. THE RISK OF DEATH BY BUSHFIRE IS LITERALLY HERE AT ALL TIMES

trick or treating vs watching scary movies - we don’t rlly trick or treat in australia. i think this year we got one small group of kids. they rang the doorbell twice in quick succession and i was like “well if i was gonna open the door and smile and say ‘soz kids we don’t have anything’ I SURE AIN’T NOW” *ignored and blocked*

apple pie vs pumpkin pie - is pumpkin pie even a thing in australia? i don’t think i’ve ever heard it mentioned outside of spn. why do y’all gotta stick pumpkin in everything?

halloween vs thanksgiving - lol. i mean first, halloween is a commercialised/americanised/christianised theft of samhain (which i celebrate in may due to being in the southern hemisphere) (tho do not take this as my condemning and/or disapproving of halloween exactly - it’s a complicated situation), and second, i have a native american friend so i really am not supportive of thanksgiving anyway. also you know once an american my mum follows on instagram asked her how australians celebrate thanksgiving. lmao. 

bake pie vs bake cookies - uhh, pie isn’t rlly a thing in australia? i don’t think i’ve ever eaten a dessert pie that wasn’t a supermarket-bought frozen nanna’s apple pie. and i don’t even really like apple pie anyway.......

rain vs fog

black cats vs owls

ghosts vs wizards (look ghosts are fine, just dont fuckin do a seance ever)

harry potter vs halloweentown - at first i thought halloweentown referred to the halloween world in nightmare before christmas. but no, apparently it’s its own thing. who woulda thunk it

go hiking vs sleep in - what the fuck? do all americans go hiking in autumn?? uhh? WHY??????? i thought everyone on tumblr mutually hated exercise or is that just me

cinnamon vs nutmeg

reading vs writing

hot chocolate vs tea

live in a cabin in a forest vs 24/7 autumn - umm??? this is a weird one. i...i don’t understand the reasoning for choosing such totally unrelated things????? however, i would pick 24/7 autumn, because this spring has already gotten to 35+ degree days. no thanks!

candy apples vs caramel apples - ..there’s a difference? are these also different to toffee apples? cause i think i had one of those in the 90s at christmas once? it was weird. to quote river tam, i very much had the thought of “my food is problematic.” (and she remains the only person who can say that word) 

blankets vs pillows

roasted marshmallows vs roasted chestnuts - i’m a vegetarian so i’m not meant to eat marshmallows (no real loss there) and i don’t think i’ve ever even seen a chestnut in a store so?????

coffee vs apple cider - are these only meant to be consumed in autumn in america or smth? i feel like you’re lying to me. cause i know starbucks is a thing. as for apple cider, well, my sister and mother usually pick that as their drink of choice at family gatherings all year round soo??? again is this something that is only consumed in autumn in america? like eggnog at christmas? pretty sure we don’t have that too. and if we do, i don’t think anyone buys it. side note but what actually IS eggnog??? does it actually have eggs in it cause thats kinda... icky.. or is that just a name? 

red leaves vs orange leaves

braids vs bows - uhh?? they’re?? both nice??? *still confused by america*

scented candles vs the smell of freshly baked goods

carve pumpkins vs make pumpkin pie - again, we don’t do this. also fun fact! the original act of carving what are now known as jack’o’lanterns originated with pagan beliefs that carving turnips (pumpkins are native to america) with scary faces and displaying them in windows would help to scare away the demons and pixies and faeries that came out on samhain to cause mischief and eat children n shit. 

pumpkin spice lattes vs chai lattes - i’ve only ever had a chai latte once, and it wasn’t even mine, it was my friend’s from mcdonalds and i just had a sip. but it was nice! also gdi america stop putting pumpkins in everything!!! you’re as bad as me putting salted caramel flavour in everything (at least salted caramel is actually nice????). also i’ve heard starbucks pumpkin spice lattes aren’t even good anyway???? and that it’s not even pumpkin, but artificial flavouring. i think i will pass. 

coats vs oversized sweaters jumpers

beanies vs berets

candy corn vs peanut butter cups - yeah we don’t really have either of those either

s’mores vs apple crisp - NO IDEA what an apple crisp is but i’ve eaten s’mores pop tarts (ya i know they have gelatin sue me. mostly i just don’t like marshmallows. also i really like pop tarts.) and they were good so uh yeah. 

jump into a pile of leaves vs swing on a tire swing

corn maze vs haunted house - corn maze... i’m gonna assume that’s going into a corn field that’s been cut to be shaped like a maze??? why would you willingly go in that? you’re asking to be murdered. or abducted by aliens. ok i retract my previous statement. definitely go in that. 

bob for apples vs visit a pumpkin patch - ok obviously the previous apple picking then refers to ACTUALLY picking apples off trees. none of these sound appealing. 

whipped cream on hot chocolate vs marshmallows on hot chocolate - i don’t like cream in general, and we already know my stance on marshmallows: gross powdery little demons. 

WELL THAT WAS FUN. basically me just either dissing american culture or straight up not knowing what it means. glad we did that. 

i will now proceed to tag some americans. @6ubble-gum @humanitys-shortest-soldier 

actually i think thats all the americans i know. well i hope you enjoy seeing an australian witch being thoroughly confused by american autumn/halloween culture

[samanthasroberts]

The chicken shop mile and how Britain got fat

With cheap and fattening food everywhere, there has been a shape shift that means people do not recognise obesity when they see it in the mirror

The Mile End Road in east London is awash with chicken shops not places to buy fresh poultry but takeaways where the oil is always bubbling and everything comes with chips. One piece of chicken in batter with fries and a can of full-sugar drink for £1.99. Two pieces for £2.79. There are utilitarian tables inside with red and white plastic cloths and large containers of ketchup, but many of the customers eat as they wander home in their school uniform.

In this London borough Tower Hamlets one in eight children starting primary school are obese, and that doubles to more than one in four when they leave, at age 11. The borough has the fifth-highest rate of child obesity in London and the sixth in the country.

Sir Sam Everington, a GP, deplores the chicken shop mile that begins just a short walk from his innovative Bromley-by-Bow health centre, where social and psychological problems are taken as seriously as the diseases that bring people in. There are all sorts of reasons why people become obese, but the 42 chicken shops per secondary school in the borough are definitely among them.

The child obesity figures are a disaster, according to Everington, who chairs the boroughs clinical commissioning group. Its a spectrum of malnutrition, he says over coffee in the pleasant cafe that is an integral part of the health centre. My assumption is that all my children are malnourished.

Chicken shops on Mile End Road, east London. Composite: Graeme Robertson

One of the worlds most affluent cities has children with problems we assume do not exist outside the developing world. Malnutrition is not just about starvation. And apart from the real danger that obesity will lead to heart disease, stroke and cancer in later life, the diet children are eating also leads to vitamin deficiencies and mouths full of rotten teeth.

For the NHS, this scenario is devastating. Even now, type 2 diabetes which is linked to obesity consumes nearly a 10th of the annual budget. There is some evidence that the rise in obesity in children nationally may have hit a plateau, but it is stabilising, not dropping. And weight particularly in adults but also in children is very hard to shift, thanks to our inbuilt biological defences. Our metabolism dramatically slows weight loss after a couple of months to prevent us starving to death.

Graph obesity in UK

Obesity is the new smoking, Simon Stevens, NHS Englands chief executive, has told the Guardian. It represents a slow-motion car crash in terms of avoidable illness and rising healthcare costs. If as a nation we keep piling on the pounds around the waistline, well be piling on the pounds in terms of future taxes needed just to keep the NHS afloat.

Britain spends more on obesity-related healthcare costs than on the police, the fire service, prisons and the criminal justice system combined, he says. Obesity-related conditions cost the NHS £6bn a year and rising. The diabetes bill is £9bn more. Its not just the wellbeing of people in this country and our children, but its also the sustainability of the NHS itself, Stevens said.

The NHS has to prevent people becoming ill in the first place. Stevens recently pledged a price rise for sugary drinks sold on NHS premises to staff and patients. Its a start, but theres a very long way to go.

Obseity

Around the country, only the type of takeaway varies, from fried chicken to fish in calorie-loaded batter to curries and burgers (all offered with sugary drinks). The problem is the same. A cultural shift has taken place over the past few decades. Cheap and fattening food is everywhere in pubs, restaurants, fast-food outlets and supermarkets. A shape shift has followed. Those living in areas where people are predominantly overweight no longer recognise obesity when it stares back at them from the mirror.

In the north-east of England, Sean Woodcock, a bariatric surgeon, deals with the consequences. There is a treatment that works, but it is drastic and not for everybody. Stomach-shrinking surgery forces those who go through it to eat less, because they feel full after tiny amounts of food. People shed vast amounts of weight, get out of their wheelchairs and regain their lives. But its a hard road to travel and Woodcock tells them so.

Bariatric surgeon Sean Woodcock holds a model of a stomach. Photograph: Murdo Macleod for the Guardian

At a seminar in Monkseaton medical centre near Newcastle, where the Northumbria healthcare NHS foundation trust has taken over space for a dedicated bariatric outpatient unit, Woodcock looks around the semicircle of morbidly obese surgery candidates sitting on extra large chairs. He flicks up a slide of a twinkling cartoon fairy godmother. I ran out of fairy dust a long time ago, he tells them. There is no quick fix. It is hard work before the surgery because it is hard work after surgery. Motivated and informed patients get the best results.

Who has had a takeaway in the last week? he asks. A couple of hands go up. In the last month? Most hands are in the air. That has to end, he tells them. Who drinks fizzy pop? Everybody does. Some of my patients drink litres of the stuff every day, he says. My patients drink three or four litre-bottles of full strength [sugar-sweetened] and say: I dont know why I dont lose weight, Mr Woodcock.

Graph  obesity in Europe

Beer is an underestimated problem, too. John Smiths contains 250 calories a pint and Stella Artois 300. Ten pints is up to 2,500 or 3,000 calories and thats without going for your kebab, he tells them.

Nobody gets surgery without undertaking a weight management course, in which they are taught about diet and nutrition, fitness and exercise. They must demonstrate they are serious by losing a significant amount of weight thats where the avoidance of takeaways and fizzy pop comes in.

And they must also learn how to eat, post surgery. Some foods, such as bread and chewy meats, will not go down. They cannot drink and eat at the same time there must be at least half an hour between. Meals will be tiny. Anita Attala, specialist dietitian at the unit, says: You cant have the sweet things and you have to eat in a certain way and chew the food well. There is a risk of malnutrition and people must take vitamin supplements.

It represents a slow-motion car crash in terms of avoidable illness and rising healthcare costs. Simon Stevens Photograph: Graeme Robertson for the Guardian

The staff, unlike much of the public, have infinite sympathy for the people they see. In most cases, there are psychological triggers behind the weight gain and many people have made huge efforts to lose weight. The vast majority are on a diet cycle, says Attala. They follow a commercial diet, lose weight, plateau and then pile it all on again. They start again and fail again. Commercial slimming organisations know it happens. Its why it is such a good business model. It is demoralising for people because they think its their failure. We had one patient who had been a slimmer of the year.

Claire Browell has been trying to lose weight since she was 18 Weight Watchers, Slimming World, commercial diets, pills you name it, she has done it. Aged 41, she was morbidly obese, with arthritis in her knees. She could not walk and was depressed. She has managed to lose more than 19kg (3 stone) on the educational weight management programme and Woodcock has just accepted her for surgery on 15 June. She is ecstatic.

She has taken to heart what Woodcock tells his patients that obesity-related diseases could cut their lifespan by 11 years. But Browell has not gone into this lightly. Surgery has its own risks. I have two children and it was a case of who is going to look after them if something happens to me? she says. If anything bad is going to happen, it normally happens to me. Who would look after my boys?

But eventually she came to realise her chances were worse without surgery. Who would look after the boys if she died from a stroke or heart attack as a result of her weight?

Claire Browell. Photograph: Murdo Macleod for the Guardian

Stevens says bariatric surgery is not the answer for all 1.4 million people who are severely obese. It would cost £8.4bn similar to the pledged government increase in the NHS budget by 2021. It could bankrupt the health service. The answer, he says, has to lie upstream. We have to prevent obesity in the first place.

Everington agrees. It must start with babies and breastfeeding, which protects children against excessive weight gain. In schools, the GP says, I personally think health should be a compulsory part of the curriculum, ahead of maths and English. What is more important in life than health? I just want my kids to be happy and healthy. So all children should be taught cooking throughout their school career, and they need to run about much more. He cites the Stirling primary school that cut its obesity rate to zero by instituting a one-mile run or walk every day for all staff and pupils.

Outside school, we need safe cycle lanes (Tower Hamlets is building them), parks and restrictions on new takeaways. The existing ones cannot be closed. And, says Everington, GP practices, schools and other community institutions must all understand that they are well placed to help changeour ideas about the way we live and its impact on our health. A cultural shift set us off down this road. There needs to be another.

Sarah Boseley is the author of The Shape Were In: how junk food and diets are shortening our lives, published by Guardian Faber.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/the-chicken-shop-mile-and-how-britain-got-fat/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2019/03/11/the-chicken-shop-mile-and-how-britain-got-fat/

[allofbeercom]

The chicken shop mile and how Britain got fat

With cheap and fattening food everywhere, there has been a shape shift that means people do not recognise obesity when they see it in the mirror

The Mile End Road in east London is awash with chicken shops not places to buy fresh poultry but takeaways where the oil is always bubbling and everything comes with chips. One piece of chicken in batter with fries and a can of full-sugar drink for £1.99. Two pieces for £2.79. There are utilitarian tables inside with red and white plastic cloths and large containers of ketchup, but many of the customers eat as they wander home in their school uniform.

In this London borough Tower Hamlets one in eight children starting primary school are obese, and that doubles to more than one in four when they leave, at age 11. The borough has the fifth-highest rate of child obesity in London and the sixth in the country.

Sir Sam Everington, a GP, deplores the chicken shop mile that begins just a short walk from his innovative Bromley-by-Bow health centre, where social and psychological problems are taken as seriously as the diseases that bring people in. There are all sorts of reasons why people become obese, but the 42 chicken shops per secondary school in the borough are definitely among them.

The child obesity figures are a disaster, according to Everington, who chairs the boroughs clinical commissioning group. Its a spectrum of malnutrition, he says over coffee in the pleasant cafe that is an integral part of the health centre. My assumption is that all my children are malnourished.

Chicken shops on Mile End Road, east London. Composite: Graeme Robertson

One of the worlds most affluent cities has children with problems we assume do not exist outside the developing world. Malnutrition is not just about starvation. And apart from the real danger that obesity will lead to heart disease, stroke and cancer in later life, the diet children are eating also leads to vitamin deficiencies and mouths full of rotten teeth.

For the NHS, this scenario is devastating. Even now, type 2 diabetes which is linked to obesity consumes nearly a 10th of the annual budget. There is some evidence that the rise in obesity in children nationally may have hit a plateau, but it is stabilising, not dropping. And weight particularly in adults but also in children is very hard to shift, thanks to our inbuilt biological defences. Our metabolism dramatically slows weight loss after a couple of months to prevent us starving to death.

Graph obesity in UK

Obesity is the new smoking, Simon Stevens, NHS Englands chief executive, has told the Guardian. It represents a slow-motion car crash in terms of avoidable illness and rising healthcare costs. If as a nation we keep piling on the pounds around the waistline, well be piling on the pounds in terms of future taxes needed just to keep the NHS afloat.

Britain spends more on obesity-related healthcare costs than on the police, the fire service, prisons and the criminal justice system combined, he says. Obesity-related conditions cost the NHS £6bn a year and rising. The diabetes bill is £9bn more. Its not just the wellbeing of people in this country and our children, but its also the sustainability of the NHS itself, Stevens said.

The NHS has to prevent people becoming ill in the first place. Stevens recently pledged a price rise for sugary drinks sold on NHS premises to staff and patients. Its a start, but theres a very long way to go.

Obseity

Around the country, only the type of takeaway varies, from fried chicken to fish in calorie-loaded batter to curries and burgers (all offered with sugary drinks). The problem is the same. A cultural shift has taken place over the past few decades. Cheap and fattening food is everywhere in pubs, restaurants, fast-food outlets and supermarkets. A shape shift has followed. Those living in areas where people are predominantly overweight no longer recognise obesity when it stares back at them from the mirror.

In the north-east of England, Sean Woodcock, a bariatric surgeon, deals with the consequences. There is a treatment that works, but it is drastic and not for everybody. Stomach-shrinking surgery forces those who go through it to eat less, because they feel full after tiny amounts of food. People shed vast amounts of weight, get out of their wheelchairs and regain their lives. But its a hard road to travel and Woodcock tells them so.

Bariatric surgeon Sean Woodcock holds a model of a stomach. Photograph: Murdo Macleod for the Guardian

At a seminar in Monkseaton medical centre near Newcastle, where the Northumbria healthcare NHS foundation trust has taken over space for a dedicated bariatric outpatient unit, Woodcock looks around the semicircle of morbidly obese surgery candidates sitting on extra large chairs. He flicks up a slide of a twinkling cartoon fairy godmother. I ran out of fairy dust a long time ago, he tells them. There is no quick fix. It is hard work before the surgery because it is hard work after surgery. Motivated and informed patients get the best results.

Who has had a takeaway in the last week? he asks. A couple of hands go up. In the last month? Most hands are in the air. That has to end, he tells them. Who drinks fizzy pop? Everybody does. Some of my patients drink litres of the stuff every day, he says. My patients drink three or four litre-bottles of full strength [sugar-sweetened] and say: I dont know why I dont lose weight, Mr Woodcock.

Graph  obesity in Europe

Beer is an underestimated problem, too. John Smiths contains 250 calories a pint and Stella Artois 300. Ten pints is up to 2,500 or 3,000 calories and thats without going for your kebab, he tells them.

Nobody gets surgery without undertaking a weight management course, in which they are taught about diet and nutrition, fitness and exercise. They must demonstrate they are serious by losing a significant amount of weight thats where the avoidance of takeaways and fizzy pop comes in.

And they must also learn how to eat, post surgery. Some foods, such as bread and chewy meats, will not go down. They cannot drink and eat at the same time there must be at least half an hour between. Meals will be tiny. Anita Attala, specialist dietitian at the unit, says: You cant have the sweet things and you have to eat in a certain way and chew the food well. There is a risk of malnutrition and people must take vitamin supplements.

It represents a slow-motion car crash in terms of avoidable illness and rising healthcare costs. Simon Stevens Photograph: Graeme Robertson for the Guardian

The staff, unlike much of the public, have infinite sympathy for the people they see. In most cases, there are psychological triggers behind the weight gain and many people have made huge efforts to lose weight. The vast majority are on a diet cycle, says Attala. They follow a commercial diet, lose weight, plateau and then pile it all on again. They start again and fail again. Commercial slimming organisations know it happens. Its why it is such a good business model. It is demoralising for people because they think its their failure. We had one patient who had been a slimmer of the year.

Claire Browell has been trying to lose weight since she was 18 Weight Watchers, Slimming World, commercial diets, pills you name it, she has done it. Aged 41, she was morbidly obese, with arthritis in her knees. She could not walk and was depressed. She has managed to lose more than 19kg (3 stone) on the educational weight management programme and Woodcock has just accepted her for surgery on 15 June. She is ecstatic.

She has taken to heart what Woodcock tells his patients that obesity-related diseases could cut their lifespan by 11 years. But Browell has not gone into this lightly. Surgery has its own risks. I have two children and it was a case of who is going to look after them if something happens to me? she says. If anything bad is going to happen, it normally happens to me. Who would look after my boys?

But eventually she came to realise her chances were worse without surgery. Who would look after the boys if she died from a stroke or heart attack as a result of her weight?

Claire Browell. Photograph: Murdo Macleod for the Guardian

Stevens says bariatric surgery is not the answer for all 1.4 million people who are severely obese. It would cost £8.4bn similar to the pledged government increase in the NHS budget by 2021. It could bankrupt the health service. The answer, he says, has to lie upstream. We have to prevent obesity in the first place.

Everington agrees. It must start with babies and breastfeeding, which protects children against excessive weight gain. In schools, the GP says, I personally think health should be a compulsory part of the curriculum, ahead of maths and English. What is more important in life than health? I just want my kids to be happy and healthy. So all children should be taught cooking throughout their school career, and they need to run about much more. He cites the Stirling primary school that cut its obesity rate to zero by instituting a one-mile run or walk every day for all staff and pupils.

Outside school, we need safe cycle lanes (Tower Hamlets is building them), parks and restrictions on new takeaways. The existing ones cannot be closed. And, says Everington, GP practices, schools and other community institutions must all understand that they are well placed to help changeour ideas about the way we live and its impact on our health. A cultural shift set us off down this road. There needs to be another.

Sarah Boseley is the author of The Shape Were In: how junk food and diets are shortening our lives, published by Guardian Faber.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/the-chicken-shop-mile-and-how-britain-got-fat/

[livelaughlove143sworld-blog]

I am so proudv#proudmommabm

I love myy 👧 👧 👧 girls. Cherish any moment you get to together. I was thtreated at gun point so i They all had such horrible lice!i had to give chas a treatment all. Not going to leave anyway. But feared for my children who didnt baith. The. The all had headlice so bad i had to use two kits on her(and that hapoened she came from over there to stay the night. My kids power and water was shut off, (but they still had the internet to play the placre s f tation. Kristy sold her food ssmtamps for drugs an cigarettes. Savanah didnt kmlike ne even though they have been together since she was 16. Everything he knows in bed , i taught him when were

Sexualy active(willingly???😭)

I made him into a man. When we first got together, he didnt shower, brush his teat or chang his clithes.  He was to much in hid driver game.

He had the a thing for "resident evil" and " madden"

He sn

Moked weed from the time he was nine. He got a ninth grade education 3x! Wow. Right now he has kidnapped my youngest, chasitie. Be will not give me her addre$ even though the "told"her i know. The mother fucker has abused me long enough. Its time to x

Stand up and face the croud. So 🚺 ladies a gentlemen

Stand up for yiu kids yneed to be patient, loving, ❤ careing, kind and praise them when they do a job well done...dont just sit ther and mak spaghetti and say 'go to your room. And of course she never say your A+ on a paper. . you gjrs(and) boy mean the 🌎 world to me. Do you rember bilki staying the night at kristy' old house? Well savanah was with him you dont do that shit aroud little girls you never talk bad about the other parent!!!that way the stay children and not streesed out children. I went through a lot of abuse to protect chasitie/ so i hope shes ok now.i dont understnd Why all of you my ( haters) ars frinds with my kids on facebook! Please explain...

I await your anzwer

Also who the hell punches 👊 my daughter in the face and DRAG HER BY HER LONG HAIR!Up a flight oc steps! Hmm...i wonder..how did lawna get her wrist broken. I DONT UNDERSTAND why my kids had matressrd on the floor and were locked in their rooms.

No.fitted sheet no pillow cases . Halie and lawna were separated. They got the shit beat out of them when they cried for me.  I went to their fathers work all the time begging to give them back to me! I bought my kids food. They showered at my house because they had no water.  All i wanted was to love and cherish every moment with my children. Then, rumors were spread that i was a crack head and hated them. Do you want to know what happened to me for 5 years? I was constantly raped, malested, drugged, and abused. The only thing good out of that was nanna. She was a 72 year old woman whos own family wouldn't take care of her! She taught me a lot. I was her personal care giver. Even with me being disabled, i took care of that wonderful woman until the day she died in my arms. Her family didnt give a fuck about what i did with her. I had to move back in with them and continue to be raped while his wife was at work. He even came to nannas when i lived there, he had a key 🔑. The one time or so that i would run and hide from him and tell him i had a male friend that i talkted to everyday, they moved new people in to pay their bills and kicked me out with no where to go. Well i found a place not knowing he was going to repeatedly rape and melest and drug me. His wife was in on it too! I had to sleep in the same room they did on a fouton. When he realized i wouldnt let him near me, they found a "wild"21 year old, they Didnt need me anymore. They took my rent money then took me to live with my sister and friends. Iam telling part of my story so my kids will understand where ive been. Then on march 29, 2019 i lost my mother. She suffered to, she wasnt taken care of properly and i know this first hand for the month (November) that i spent with her. Her "care taker" has her ashes and is already get married to another woman, yet, he wouldnt marry my mom? It took 19 years for him to buy her a ring 💍. He was not a "beliver"in medicine so he didnt give my mom the correct dosages to keep her comfortable. He would shut off her oxygen machine and watch her not be able to breath!i turned it back on and gave him a look. My mom suffered from sever dementia so she wouldn't know if or when she took her medicine, and he took advantage of that. One time when her medicine was out , there were 4 boxes (full) of liquid morphine. She only gets one at a time when her meds come in. He would yell, cus, scream , and tell her how stupid she was! Me and him butted heads with the way he treated my mom all those years. She deserved a much better life. She was an independent, loving, caring person who would help anyone she could! She was extremely organized and on a schedule everyday. She put me on one. She had several mini-strokes in her sleep from all the drunken stress he put on her. They slept in seperate bedrooms. They didn't hug, kiss, say "i love you" how was your day, nothing. My mother loved pepsi her whole life( not coffee) when she was in hospice in their living room. He bought coke instead. She would say i dont want this i want pepsi he would say drink it or apple juice. I have yet to see my moms ashes and belongings of mine from childhood. Chasitie was the only one who really knew her. We celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas there. I have the pictures. I miss my mom! I'm afraid of men 😨. To make things clear, just because my sister does drugs doesn't mean i do, so quit assuming.

Halie, lawna, chas, : i am still "your mommy bomby full of love!" And always will be. So girls, now that you are all teenager's i can finaly explain my story.

[tevintermagisterium-blog]

✆ “” ✿ & {GIVE ME THE PAIN AND/OR FLUFF}

“✆” for a MORNING text. “” for a text that WASN’T SENT. “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text.  “&” for a LOVING text.

{Text: @ Alexander ❤️ } I had forgotten to say such this morning. I love you. I have left your lunch on the table with your wallet and keys, Aurora has hers within her usual lunchbox. If she complains… please… mess up her hair. Thank you. 

{Text: @ Mi cachorro💗 💖 💘 } Hey! I am sorry, I know it’s only 8am… but… I love you! I… said this… an hour ago huh… oh well! I love you! Have a fun day at work, Mi Amor~! I will have a bath run by the time you get back.. all your laundry is done and dishes! dogs fed! if there is anything else.. just text me back.I love you~

{Text: @ 👏🏻 Dieu👏🏻 }Mon Cheri; I hope you slept well!… please… don’t work as hard today! you deserve a break! In other words…

JoinMeTonight!

I need you…. you’re company today! I crave such at this point! please? You know I love and adore you and you.. need a break… I will be there in half an hour with coffee and food! paints in the back were ordered alphabetically.. À bientôt!!💙

{Text: @ Mutinium 🖕🏽 }Wake up. Your brother had called me at 5am leaving a lengthy voicemail to how you had forgotten to pick him up and left him to catch the bus.Now, because I love you.. I assume you did such on purpose, and so, I have left $10 and a copy of the voicemail on your desk. You have my gratitude. 

{Text: @ Alexander ❤️  - 02:43}You can not answer your phone.. I do not know what I am doing.. but It seems that the sound of your voice keeps me alive.. Aurora won her first soccer match today. Caecilius was very proud. She got kicked out of class however. She claims she misses you. I miss you too. You can not even read this, can you. Because maybe you do not care.. why would you? Why would you care about me? Who would care about me? Nobody. I do not blame you. I fucking can not stand the fact of what you have done. Why did you leave? You were home for a FUCKING week. A week. A WEEK. 

I am sorry if I am not alive for when you return.

{Text: @ Mi cachorro💗 💖 💘  - 03:23}I know you decided to sleep at Bella’s because you were so hungover and the trainride didn’t seem nice… (note… it wasn’t.) but…. I can’t get over the feeling you are with the man who smiled so blissfully at you.. I can’t get over the fact you smiled and blushed back… Am I really the replaceable? Did I… face this fear for nothing? I am so scared.. please don’t leave me.. oh god’s don’t leave me.. I can’t live without you!… you complete me and a life without you is something i can’t bare to think about.. I need you.. I desire you… I am laying here with my nose buried in your pillow, taking in every deep breath to take in your scent, to never forget it… my arm outstretched to where your body would lay.. the idea that you are now under some man who smiled at you.. who offered to buy you a drink.. who offered to dance.. I… can’t…. eve-

{Text: @ 👏🏻 Dieu👏🏻  - 01:15}

Je ne peux pas supporter le fait que vous travaillez si dur et oubliez tout autour de vous. changer sa position! Tu es si belle et je t'aime.. Je t'aime plus qu'un ami! Qu'un frère! Que d'un frère… Je veux te tenir et t'embrasser et me coucher sous toi comme mes mains traînent sur ton corps. Je suis ivre mais je m'en fous … J'ai besoin de toi.. Daniel… J'ai besoin de toi! Votre sourire.. votre rire.. votre âme et le corps.. vous êtes… si si belle. Tu es tellement plus d'un homme que je ne serai jamais et j'adore que… s'il te plaît ne meurs pas.. pas sur moi.. pas aujourd'hui.. pas demain… s'il te plaît… Je t'aime.TRANSLATION: I can’t stand the fact you work so hard and forget everything around you. snap out of it! You are so beautiful and I love you.. I love you more than a friend! than a sibling! than a brother.. I want to hold you and kiss you and lay underneath you as my hands trail over your body. I am drunk but I don’t care.. I need you.. Daniel… I need you! your smile.. your laugh.. your soul and body.. you are… so so beautiful. You are so much more of a man than I shall ever be and I adore that… please don’t die.. not on me.. not today.. not tomorrow… please… I love you.

{Text: @ Alexander ❤️ } Mmph… I miss you, the way your hands dragged over my hips and ass, the ways your eyes gazed upon my body like that of a starving animal. Dominate me, master~ Fuck me until tomorrow. Fuck me until I scream your name, until you are all I hunger for. Deny me to come.. Deny my every beg and movement. Tie me down.. or do not.. for the God’s know I will only do as you say, and if you command me to not move.. I am to lay their still. Please.. fuck me~ Oh God’s please fuck me..~ I need you inside of me.Can you finish work early? 

{Text: @ Mi cachorro💗 💖 💘 }My Little kit… when do you finish work today? Do not lock up, please.. I believe I desire to see you later today.. alone.. in the darkness… when the shutters aren’t closed and people can witness you moaning my name as I pound you behind the desk. Where I can mark you as my own again; I noticed the marks had faded and we can’t have that, my beautiful pup.. I want to hold you to my chest and have you scream my name where the glass almost threatens to shatter. I want you to defile the name of God, for you to shout and whimper his name so often that he smites us down in disgrace.. I want to see that beautiful face as you cum over my hand and on your chest.. over that beautiful.. beautiful chest… Umph… So… Do we have a mutual understanding mi amor?~ Don’t lock up, no?~

{Text: @ Alexander ❤️  - 01:27}

I know I am not home, but I swear I am safe. I just desired to walk and have some time to think, to clear the mind. Do you know how much I love you, my dear? I do not think I tell you such enough to keep the image that I am stern and harsh, but I truly love you, with all my heart. I have cried over you, sobbed over you.. contemplated taking my life over you.. the thought of living without you is something I can not do. Please, do not ever question my love and desire for you.. You are the most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes and hands upon and if you ever want to leave me.. I understand.. But I shall never think twice for you; as you are my one and only.

Aurora’s favourite book is on the top shelf. Far left. I shall be back home in an hour…

I love you.. more than life itself. We do not screencap this… This is the only text you are ever going to get on this matter.

{Text: @ Mi cachorro💗 💖 💘  - 03:48}You’re sitting right next to me.. on the couch asleep and your phone is nearly falling out of your hand but I don’t desire to wake you or move in case I receive a foot to the face again..so… hey… I love you.. I am awful with wording this but I love you… SO SO MUCH! :D More than I can ever put into a string of sentences.. and that is saying something! considering… I teach kids.. english… heh! You are everything a man could ever dream for in his life, you are what people aspire to be.. beautiful… caring.. just a PERFECT amount of attitude (And great in bed.. like… MYGODSOGOOD? 👏🏽  besides the point.. } What I’m trying to say.. I think.. is that you are everything I have dreamt of since I was a little boy horrified about dreaming of such.. the way you laugh and smile.. the way you run your hands through your hair when nervous, bite your lip when you think I am not looking.. the way your ocean-like eyes glisten when excited, the way you hop up and down and tackle me into hugs and I-….My gods.. thank you for marrying me… thank you.

(Every time it moves to a different line… it’s a separate text){Text: @ 👏🏻 Dieu👏🏻  - 02:17}OMGOMGOMGOMGMonCheriThereWasAPuppyAnd it reminded me of you.. it was so sweet and licked my cheek for 12 WHOLE MINUTES and honestly now that I think about it it probably has licked it’s own butt bUT THATS FINE I love you, hmm? Please say you get this or I am going to be standing outside your door for a LONNGGG time which means I will probably be dead by the time work starts tomorrow BUT I DONT CARE my parents know I am probably skipping about somewhere.I guess the hyperactivity is evident but whO NEEDS PUNCTUATION ANYWAY please say you are awake the rose is hurting my hand.I DONT HAVE AROSE*A ROSEI LIED…I love you mon cheri!So so much… omg! so much.. You make my heart feel like its gonna explode and im only 10 minutes away from your house and I think your lights are all off BUT OH WELL… I will sit here! 

sleep well Mon chevalier en armure brillante 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖