#I have so much i want to say about him but i don't even know where to start
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lightseoul · 2 days ago
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a/n. i really don't know where i'm going with this, y'all. but getting to role-play as a therapist and explore bakugou's psyche has been lots of fun, so bear with me. please let me know what you think and/or would want to see! maybe that'll give me an idea lol. (1.1k)
navigation. part 1, part 2, (you are here)
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“n-no.”
at that, the woman’s eyebrows shoot up, disappearing underneath her fringe. “no?”
“you heard me,” bakugou spits instinctively, immediately regretting how hostile that sounded not even a second later. “i mean, no, i didn’t.”
his therapist, apparently unfazed by his show of aggression—she must’ve gotten used to it by now, although he still feels bad when he gets testy—only jots something down in her clipboard before looking back up at him, an inexplicable expression etched across her features.
“do you have any ideas, then, why, for the first time in seemingly forever, you’re fixating on a particular social encounter?”
bakugou barely manages to bite back a scowl.
he hates it—this part. the part where his psychologist obviously has theories as to why he’s acting a certain way or how he’s actually feeling but chooses to ask him instead, in an attempt to draw it out of him.
as if talking about difficult shit in the first place isn’t already painful enough.
and isn’t that what he’s paying her to do? give him answers? why’d he have to be the one to wrack his brain for uncomfortable answers to uncomfortable questions?
“do you?” he then challenges, emboldened by that train of thought just now.
“yes,” she responds truthfully and without missing a beat it somewhat surprises him. “but as i’ve explained to you before, i think it’ll be helpful for you if we try a more active approach on your end so that any insights gleaned from our discussions become more personalized and stick with you longer.”
well, then. fuck.
the lady’s got a point.
“so,” she continues when he doesn’t reply, annoyingly aware her little spiel got to him, “any ideas? working hypotheses?”
“uh,” he starts begrudgingly, eyes roving over the bookshelves lining the room’s walls as he struggles to come up with another angle. then it dawns on him, and he looks directly at the woman. “i didn’t expect to see someone in here, and when i did, it caught me off guard.”
“that may be because most of our clients opt for virtual consultations rather than face-to-face ones.”
“yeah,” he piles on quickly, admittedly thankful for the validation, and for the fact. the absolute last thing he needs is to bump into some extras before and after therapy. “that must be why.”
“but how does that explain your, and i quote, ‘dumb as shit reaction’?”
bakugou instantly feels himself flame. he clears his throat, “i told you, didn’t i? it caught me off guard. how the fuck did you expect me to react?”
that must’ve been a reasonable point, thank the fuck, because the woman pauses in thought before nodding slowly. “i suppose you’re right.”
he narrowly bites back an of course, i am.
but then she’s spouting off again.
“although it’s interesting to me how your immediate reaction was to say hi, when that’s not really…how should i say, your style, based on our prior sessions and your personality test results.”
a pause.
bakugou scrambles for a bulletproof rebuttal. he comes up short.
the lady cocks her head to the side, curious. “how often would you say you mull over social blunders?”
never, he thinks to himself. because they never happen.
“i figured as much,” comes her unexpected reply, and only then does it dawn on him that he said the last bit out loud.
“can we talk about something else?” he finds himself suddenly asking, totally over this entire conversation. he can worry about being a loser and pathetically begging for an out some other time. right now, he just needs a break.
“actually, you’re in luck,” she checks her smartwatch, “the session’s just about to end.”
at that, his shoulders almost instantly sag in relief, which makes the woman laugh. he shoots her a half-hearted glare.
they spend the next few minutes summarizing what has been discussed, as well as the arrangements for the following weeks, with bakugou eventually throwing his bag over his shoulders and bidding her a mumbled goodbye. he tosses her a nod over his shoulder as he crosses the threshold of her office, mind already drifting to what he’s going to cook himself for dinner.
and that, for a typical session, he’s walking out relatively unscathed.
but then he does the stupid thing of looking up from where he was studying his trainers when a door creaks open, and he freezes.
because standing a few feet away from him, right beside the entrance to the restroom, is you, equally frozen.
he doesn’t know how much time passes with him just staring at you like a motherfucking idiot, and you, strangely enough, peering at him back, but it’s you who eventually takes a hammer to the silence.
“h-hi,” you offer, voice soft and quiet, just like how he vaguely remembers it from two weeks ago.
“hey,” comes his gruff reply, which would’ve been immediately followed by a wince at how rough his tone was just now had he not stopped himself in the nick of time.
at least he didn’t stutter.
“…b-bakugou, right?” you ask after a moment of neither of you saying anything, confirming his earlier suspicions.
“right.”
you nod, a polite yet somehow stilted smile on your face, and suddenly he’s mentally slapping himself. since when was he fucking bound to one-word sentences?
he decides then and there that this shit won’t do.
in an attempt to convince himself that no, this is just a weird outlier of an encounter for him, and that no, he’s not a fucking idiot like dunce face, and that yes, he is and is being perfectly fucking normal, he resolves to ask you for your name.
and he was just about to do that—he swears he was—when someone from the other side of the door calls out a name, and you whip to face their direction, breaking eye contact.
“yes, doc!” you holler back, and he watches you as you hesitate in place for a second, before turning to face him with an awkward smile.
“nice meeting you, bakugou-san.”
and then you’re off and shutting the door behind you.
he stands there for what feels like a few minutes, just blinking at the door in front of him, what must be your name echoing—again and again—up to the far recesses of his mind.
then: fuck.
he may or may not have just lied to his therapist.
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˖⁺‧₊ as always, reblogs, replies, and tags are appreciated <3 feel free to drop an ask, too—i'd love to chat with you. have a nice day!
tagging. @bunnysaursushii @yawnzzzzzzzz @cholios @kashee-h @iluv-ace @lotuslovers @elarakive @sugurusmoon @napbatata @k0z3me @h0ngh0ngh0ng @honeyoru @yoongiwithglasses @hellokitty-doll @lilsebnem @tetsuukuroo @crangrapel0ver @syrhra @qyuin | @kalulakunundrum @cheezemanz @gold24fish @lunaryasha
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finelinevogue · 3 days ago
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safe with me
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summary - you say 'yes' to being intimate with azriel when you really mean ‘no', because your past relationship taught you that saying 'yes' is the only answer
word count - 1.2k
pairing - azriel x mate!reader
[ reference to past abusive relationship - read with care 🤎 ]
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It was the dark of night.
Everyone was in bed except you and Azriel, because you'd both lost track of time staying up and talking about everything and nothing. It was a habit you were both readily guilty of. Neither of you cared, though, when your conversations only made the bond stronger.
Azriel held the bedroom door open for you as you walked through first.
"Do you have training in the morning?" You asked him, walking over to your side of the bed.
You picked up the small tin of body cream there, scooping some up so you could apply it to your hands. It smelt of roses and reminded you of the endless walks through the garden you'd had with Azriel over the years.
"I do, yes. Cassian wants to show the priestesses some new defence techniques. He asked me to help him demonstrate."
Azriel locked the bedroom door and rounded the opposite side of the bed to you - his side, you both now called it.
You watched intensely as he lifted his black shirt over his head.
His muscles stretched and rippled as his body moved. His arms lengthened and the veins popped as he lifted his hands above his head.
You swallowed your desire as you admired him.
Due to Azriel's slight compulsive tendencies, he couldn't just throw his shirt on the floor. Instead, he neatly folded it and placed it on the dressing table.
You don't know what was more attractive; Azriel stripping down or Azirel being neat and tidy.
"It's rude to stare, you know?" He teased you as he came back to bed, lifting the covers to slip underneath.
"I wasn't staring." You blushed.
"Tell that to your cheeks."
You smiled to yourself as you stood up to untuck the covers on your side of the bed, before slipping in beside your mate.
The moment you were laid down Azriel attacked you with a flurry of kisses - probably the sweetest type of attack you could endure.
His lips kissed your cheeks repeatedly, making you laugh out loud from the suddenness of it all. You tried to move away and turn a cheek, but he was too insistent on loving you to notice.
He did notice, however, when your laugh started to fade away as he continued to kiss from your cheek to your neck.
Your mind was spinning a million miles an hour, trying to figure out how you were feeling and if you wanted this innocent kissing to turn into something more intimate. The fact that you were hesitating was enough for you to mentally agree that you didn't want to do anything this evening, but conveying that to your mate was an entire different thing.
"Okay?" He asked, slowly kissing over the sweet spot on your neck that normally got you going.
Unfortunately your mind was being cruel.
Instead of being here and in the room with Az, you had been transported back to the same situation with an ex-male of yours. He had initiated an evening much like Azriel was doing, but he knew you weren't particularly feeling it. Instead of accepting your answer of 'no', he had convinced you that you were "just confused" and "this is something you actually want" and to "just say yes".
You hadn't wanted to say yes at all.
But your ex had been so good at manipulating you that he had eventually gotten what he wanted without making it seem non-consensual.
Azriel, being ever so perceptive, could tell you were caving in on yourself, as well as feeling your heartbeat quicken and his shadows picked up on your hesitance and nervous energy. All of it together sent Azriel major red alarms.
"Hey, sweetheart, hey?"
Azriel's face was hovering above yours now, nowhere near your neck but you hadn't even realised he had moved away.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
You looked in his eyes and saw their concern. You didn't want to worry him. This is something that Azriel wants and that should be enough, right?
"Mhm."
You couldn't convince yourself to say the word 'yes' out loud. You couldn't do that to yourself again.
Azriel's hand cupped your cheek so softly you thought you were made out of porcelain. He looked through you before he spoke - his shadows enclosing around you so that you could just focus on each other and nothing else.
"Sweetheart, you're allowed to say no. You know that."
You blinked a few times as if that would help register what he'd just said.
"But..." You stuttered, "But you want to."
Azriel furrowed his eyebrows and tried to keep himself calm. If it weren't for needing to reassure and comfort you right now, he would very quickly dress in his battle armour and take out every male who had ever wrongly taught you about consent.
How someone could let themselves not take care of you if you weren't feeling up to being intimate is beyond his comprension.
Azriel shook his head, gritting his teeth. "That's not how it works with me."
Your eyes started to water as they were opened to understanding what true consent feels like and should be. Azriel was doing the absolute bare minimum in this situation and yet it felt like the most monumental thing to have happened.
"It’s just... When I was with... him, it didn’t matter if I wanted to or not. What he wanted was all that mattered. And I-I guess I just learned to go along with it."
"Well that stops right now." Azriel said, "That's not how we're going to do things, okay? How you feel is more important to me than getting off. Mother above, how does someone even get off if the other person isn't feeling it? Sweetheart, if you’re not sure, then we stop. Always."
A little teardrop fell onto your cheek, but you couldn't help but smile with how loved and protected you felt right now.
You could tell that Azriel was absolutely heartbroken to hear about your past relationships, but he would be damned if he didn't change the wrongs of your thinking. Knowing that your comfort is his priority filled your heart with joy, because it meant that you were safe with him. Safe with your mate.
“I didn’t realise how scared I was to tell you no. I was so sure it would make you angry, or-or disappointed.”
Azriel shook his head again, “The only thing that would ever disappoint me is you thinking you have to hide how you feel. You’re safe with me. I promise."
You nodded in agreement because you did believe him.
You could feel his trust and his assuredness within the bond.
"Can we just cuddle?" You asked shyly.
"Of course we can." Azriel smiled, kissing your forehead for good measure. "Only after I kill your ex..."
You didn't think he was being serious until he started to get up off you and shuffle out of bed. Laughing, you tugged on his arm and because he wasn't expecting it he landed with an oomph on top of you.
"You'll do no such thing."
"We'll see about that." He scoffed, trying again.
"See about it in the morning?" You counter offered, knowing there was nothing you could do to stop him from defending your honour - overprotective mate.
"Fine." He flopped back down on the bed and made room for you to cosy in next to him.
His wings finally wrapped around you, ensuring your safety as the both of you drifted off to sleep, the weight of your confession making it easier to sleep at night. All the while, Azriel stayed up planning his vengeance.
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whisperofwonder · 2 days ago
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Wife Guy
The wife guys of Haikyuu
(The term does have some negative connotations but I don't mean it like that here. They're just some dudes who really love their wife. Cool? Cool.)
Featuring: Bokuto Koutarou, Iwaizumi Hajime, Sakusa Kiyoomi x wife!reader - ~300 words each
(if someone else needs to be here, tell me. I might write it.)
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BOKUTO KOUTAROU
Come on. He's the ultimate unironic wife guy.
You, his wife, are the light of his life. He adores you. He doesn't shut up about you. Your friends and family know this, the Jackals definitely know this, even his fans know this because he can't resist posting about you even when the social media managers get on his case. The moment your name or the words "my wife" pass his lips, anyone within earshot knows that it's all over.
He never misses an opportunity to tell you how much he loves you. You need to know that, in his eyes, every little thing about you is perfect. Not only that, but he's a really touchy guy. He loves holding your hand, putting his arm around you, barraging you with kisses, any form of skin to skin contact with you. You and everyone around you have gotten used to the constant PDA over the years. He's just so pure and sweet about it that no one can even say a thing about it.
One of the things he loves about being a professional athlete is that it gives him the means to spoil you. Designer items, the latest tech, lush vacations, whatever it is that catches your eye, he's already got his credit card out. He's not trying to buy your love, he's showering you in his. No matter how often you insist that all you need to be happy is him, he can't resist a little treat every now and then.
The day you agreed to marry him was one of the best days of his life. Every time he takes notice of the ring on his finger, a little jolt of joy goes through him, even after all this time. The mere fact that he gets to spend the rest of his life loving you is simply unmatched.
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IWAIZUMI HAJIME
There's a reason that Iwaizumi Hajime (27) Athletic Trainer is written as a knight in every single medieval AU. He's chivalrous, hard-working, and utterly devoted to his wife. He might be quieter about it, but his love for you is an undercurrent to everything. From the kiss pressed to your forehead when he gets up to start the day to the moment he pulls you against his chest in bed each night, there are a hundred little moments when he shows just how much you mean to him.
Most obvious to everyone around him is the small smile that comes across his face every single time he talks about you. "Oh, my wife picked it out." "Yeah, she did make this." "I'm taking her to dinner tonight, actually."
You will never walk closest to the street on his watch. Forgot your jacket? No you didn't, he tossed it in the back seat. When you're washing dishes after dinner, he's right there with the towel to dry. Craving ice cream at 10 pm? The corner store is only a few minutes walk for him, no it's no trouble, don't be ridiculous. It all just goes to show that he's constantly thinking of you - what you might need, what you might want, what might make you smile. If it's within his power, why wouldn't he do it for you? It's just inconceivable.
You make his life better. All he wants is to do the same for you. He might never say it out loud, but being married to you is the fairy tale life he hadn't dared to hope for. Spending every day by your side is enough to make him the happiest man in the world.
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SAKUSA KIYOOMI
His wife is his person. The world is full of irritants, uncomfortable situations, people who rub him the wrong way. You are the one that soothes it all away. His safe space. Coming home to you every day feels like a weight sliding from his shoulders.
He took to the simple day-to-day of married life so well. Dating was never his scene. Truth be told, you've felt married long before he put a ring on your finger. Everyone says the pair of you are the token old married couple. He might scoff, but to him it's the best kind of compliment.
He takes real pride in the home you share together. It's a sacred place that deserves to be kept neat and clean and comfortable. No matter what kind of day he has, he'll always spend at least a little time making sure everything is running smoothly for you, keeping up with the small things that he knows make your life a little easier.
His favorite moments are the quiet ones you share together. When either of you has had a less than perfect day, it's an unspoken rule that you'll be spending the evening together, curled up in your own little world where nothing else matters. Nothing is more comforting to him than the feel of you in his arms, breathing in your familiar scent. Everything else simply melts away.
Marrying you was the easiest decision he's ever made. There was no alternative. In the course of his life, he knows that he's doing something right, because with you by his side, he knows he can face anything else that may come.
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teyrnacousland · 2 days ago
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I've seen the headcanon that Lucanis' mother, Caterina's perfect heir, was actually similar to Illario in some ways. That she was calculating, ruthless, ambitious, obedient... all the things Caterina overlooks in Illario because Caterina sees her favourite daughter's deep brown eyes and quiet, controlled demeanor and careful planning in Lucanis.
But I am also attached to the idea that the opposite is true too. That Illario's mother shared similarities with Lucanis; that she was empathetic and stubborn, with a slight rebellious streak. But she was always outgoing and charming, was more impulsive with her emotions, and was always sharper with her tongue than with a sword, so Caterina only sees her in Illario.
I just love the idea that Caterina can't look beyond the surface and see who her grandsons really are because on some level she can't see past the ghosts reflected in their eyes. She can't see that the quiet brown eyed boy is is more of the gentle hearted rebel, and the one with blue eyes and a shining, fake smile is the ruthless leader who would do anything she asked.
#Illario Dellamorte#Lucanis Dellamorte#veilguard spoilers#I wish we knew anything about their families#Illario's name means happy. You could (and I choose to) read that as meaning his parents' main wish for him was happiness.#What does that say about them as people?#What does it mean that a Dellamorte once looked at their newborn and their only thought was 'I hope he's happy'#I have been thinking about the Dellamortes all morning at work#Lucanis' mother the favourite child the quiet one who learned to turn off her emotions and would do anything to keep her status as favourit#Vs loud emotional Illario's mother the less favourite because she was rebellious and stubborn and tried to be her own person#(as much as she could)#(Also imagining Lucanis' mother sneaking into her younger sister's room at night after she's punished and tending to her#the way Lucanis and Illario will do years later)#I like the idea of Illario's mother being a bit of a rebel because I think a lot of people look at Illario and think disobedient rebel#despite the fact that I think objectively Illario is the more obedient one#he has disobedient rebel energy but in canon he's a follower who doesn't even consider breaking the rules unless it's Lucanis' idea#(until he has Lucanis killed but you could argue even that is him following Crow rules it's just him being who Caterina raised him to be)#I really want to know what's up with their families though. Lucanis is the horse Caterina is betting on. Lucanis' mother was the first of#her children to die. What makes her so sure Lucanis is the best option? Is it just that Lucanis is less like her and she knows she failed?#Is there something about Illario that makes her see him an ineligible? I want to interview her.#anyways I have to go back to work now hopefully this all makes sense I don't have time to proofread anything oops this is how much I ramble#when I don't have the time to go back and edit it down and take out all my irrelevant thoughts
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gffa · 3 days ago
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If you ever asked me, "How do you reconcile reading romantic fic for Obi-Wan with that he's one of the Ultimate Jedi characters?" I would tell you that it's actually pretty easy! Option 1: As long as their commitment to their duty is the highest priority in their life, I don't see that as a conflict with a Jedi having a romantic relationship and I think you can make a solid case for this with Obi-Wan knowing about Anakin's relationship with Padme and never telling him to stop it unless Anakin is verging on becoming deeply unbalanced over it. Obi-Wan explicitly says romantic feelings are natural and it's not like they're not allowed. Supplementary material straight up is fine with Jedi in relationships as long as they remain true to their vows. Option 2: I have zero trouble seeing Obi-Wan willing to leave the Jedi Order and not even just because he said he would twice in main canon (The Phantom Menace and The Clone Wars) and another time in supplementary canon (Obi-Wan & Anakin), but because he loves and respects the Jedi Order so much! Obi-Wan is a true believer in the Jedi way, so much that if he felt his relationship with someone else would become more of a priority, he would respectfully take his leave, because he understands that the way the Force works in the worldbuilding of Star Wars means he has to have his emotional shit on lock if he's going to be acting with the Force. He loves the Jedi way enough and believes in it enough that he would follow another path rather than half-ass the one he cares so deeply for. Obi-Wan as a Jedi is central to his character, but I genuinely don't see it as a roadblock to shipping him with characters if I want to! And that same feeling applies to just about every other Jedi character I love!
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catladyshinycelebi · 2 days ago
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not to mention, doing a seig hitler is a completely different ballpark than saying something offensive unintentionally. sieg hitler requires coordinated movement(arguably more so than a punch,push/shove, or kick). if one hadn't grown up being expected to do that frequently, they wouldn't have that move in muscle memory/habit. There's no way someone could do that accidentally now days since that gesture became unpopular after ww2 and muskrat was born decades after ww2. hence not possible for it to be an actual stim(or something someone does when having a seizure either. i mention this since I recall hearing about a case where an autistic person injured(can't remember if it was an accidental punch of sorts of a push/shove) someone while having a seizure. to a lesser degree-seizures are comorbid with autism).
It's way easier for someone to unintentionally offend someone(if they were raised/indoctrinated with problematic beliefs that affect their sub-concious), as it's easier to speak without much thought than do problematic hand/arm gestures, especially for verbal autistic folk.
Anyone who seriously believes autism can cause someone to seig heil(and not just trying to gaslight/troll people who condemn him) needs to do a lot of more research, lurking forums ran by autistic folk for autistic folk etc or STFU.
Just like many of us autistic folk want neurotypicals to stop demonizing us when we don't follow simple social norms like eye contact, reading non verbal cues well etc.(even when it hurts no one), many of us don't want y'all to excuse someone who happens to be autistic does terrible things like Elon Musk has. Babying is also bad, not just demonizing. if an autistic persona says something racist, sexist- feel free to tell them that what they said hurt you or you know it will hurt others. if the autistic person is well meaning(and not a mean spirited asshole like Elon), they'll try avoiding saying it again.
Signed, a gentile/goy/non-jewish autistic woman
“Elon didn’t mean to seig heil, he’s just autistic”
Do you guys remember when Kanye said he was gonna go “death con” on all the Jews? Do you remember how his apologists said he was just off his bipolar meds? Do you remember that he doubled down, said he didn’t actually have bipolar, and he had been misdiagnosed by a Jew doctor? Do you remember he proceeded to meet with prominent white supremacists and told infowars he was a Nazi who loved Hitler?
Nobody ever believes the Jews the first time, even though our culture has spent literally thousands of years learning the warning signs. We know what we’re looking at. It’s two consecutive Nazi salutes on a white supremacist’s inauguration day. You can downplay it all you want, but this coal mine’s canary isn’t coming back to life.
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r1kixss · 22 hours ago
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Sister fucker
warnings: p in v, cursing, jay is readers brother and rikis bsf
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Having jay as your brother was so hard because he was too overprotective.
Going out at night? No, someone will attack you. Guy wanting to take you out? No, Jay doesn't trust him.
Jeez. You love your big brother so much, but he can fuck off honestly. Even your own father doesn't care as much as him.
You were glad Jay didn't know you were dating his best friend Riki. He would absolutely crash out and kill him first then lock you in your room and never let you out. He stated so many times how uncomfortable and awkward it'll be for him if one of his friends dated you. You didn't care, Riki was a sweet boy and you loved him.
It's been five months since you two were dating and it was going so great, as long as Jay doesn't find out. You weren't ready to tell your brother yet.
Jay and your parents weren't home... so Riki came over. You knew your parents are on a date and Jay is somewhere out so the house was definitely free for a while.
Obviously, you and your boyfriend were fucking like bunnies. Who wouldn't?
You moaned as your boyfriend thrusted into you, his large hands on your waist. He was enjoying himself so much he didn't even care about being a cool nonchalant guy anymore. He moaned like a bitch, eyes rolling back as you squeezed on his dick.
"Fuck- stop squeezing..." He begged, abs tensing to stop himself from cumming too fast. You whimpered out a small "sorry", trying to relax.
Both of you didn't hear the door downstairs opening and slamming shut, since your room was closed. Skin slapping and moaning filled your room continuously, you were shaking at this point because of how good it felt.
Jay was flabbergasted when he walked upstairs, hearing male and female moans. At first he thought it was his parents, neck flashing red from embarrassment.
Then he realized it was coming from your room and he almost died. God, that was so embarrassing.
He went to his room and closed the door, going to the bathroom to take a long shower and ignore the VERY loud sounds.
You were having a great time on the other hand. Getting dicked down to the point your eyes were rolling back and pussy squeezing on your boyfriends dick so hard he needed to pause for a second to not cum prematurely.
When he started rubbing your clit you were completely gone. You were cumming and trembling, clenching on his cock and he orgasmed right after you.
He collapsed on you, cuddling to you in exhaustion. Both of you were tired and limp, breathing slowly to calm down.
After a while he mustered up the strength to sit up and clean up everything. Then, you both got dressed and got out of your room to go to the kitchen.
You stood frozen in front of the kitchen when you saw your big brother there. Oh shit.
He turned around and saw Riki. He expected anyone, a random guy, not his best friend. He just stared at the boy in shock, then at you, then back at him, then at his messy hair and your red cheeks.
"Oh I'm gonna kill you mother fucker!" Jay yelled, charging at Riki. Your boyfriend screamed, running upstairs.
"Sister fucker!" He corrected your big brother, laughing even though he doesn't know if he'll survive today. Riki locked himself in your room and Jay pounded at the door angrily.
Let's say, both boys were sulking at each other for a while, but Jay accepted you two dating after some talking.
Not even a month later he was happily taking couple pictures for you two for Rikis Instagram.
Hi hi hello!! y'all this is pretty short but that's all i can shit out😔 i don't wanna neglect y'all so.....
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just-some-random-blogger · 3 days ago
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Tormented Spirit | 16
Part 1 [...] 14 15 16 17
"Is it such a sin to stand up for yourself?" you mutter as tears blur your vision. The way he reacted was visceral, instinctive even. "You never have to stand up for yourself ever again," says Daemon, reaching a hand to you, "come."
Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader | 5k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has brown hair, wife!reader, twin!Gwayne, arranged/forced marriage, canon divergence, alternate universe, slow burn, DD:DNE, violence, pregnancy, miscarriage, panic/anxiety attacks, suicidal ideation, attempted suicide, daddy issues/child abuse/family problems, mentions/depictions of mental/physical/psychosomatic illness, ye old misogyny, angst, typos, etc.
A/N: guys we're just gonna roll with the fact daemon knows how to braid hair realllly well ok stfu. also ASHFOASF long time no see i hope you enjoyyy!!!!!! | cross posted on ao3
@arabellasleopardcoat @prettybiching @myllovellybones
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You find it hard to dress yourself for your clothes were far too heavy for you. What's more, they looked like they were eating you alive with how much weight you've lost. Your sister offered to have new dresses commissioned for you, but the moment your father caught wind of it, he made sure to send away any tailor that would fit you, insisting that you would regain your weight. You only did after Aegon was born, but as it remains, you look odd in your ill-fitting garbs.
By the time you are finished dressing yourself, you stare at your reflection. Black suited you, you think... it made the little color that remained on your face pop up.
Daemon emerges from the bathroom as you were about to fix your hair. His tresses looked tangled in its dripping state. A towel covered his belly and thighs, skin still damp. And his skin, his skin was burned. Were once you remembered both faint and deep cuts rested, now rested there was thick and textured marks.
"Dae-" you start but immediately stop when he heads straight towards his closet, hastily moving to dress himself.
You fidget with your fingers, unsure if you ought to help, approach, or even speak. You stare at him, hoping he'd acknowledge you. He doesn't.
You sigh and slowly walk to your vanity, though your eyes remain on him. He spares you a look, immediately looking away when he catches you staring. He puts on his breeches and pulls his towel off. He ties its laces, as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. It wasn't. In fact, it was not even an easy feat, as his hands were trembling.
You don't notice that exactly, but you do notice his frantic movements which were so unlike him. You wonder if it was consequence war, and you find yourself pretending not to notice in case it was the case. The last thing you wanted was to trigger him today of all days. You wanted the day you send off your children to be peaceful for the both of you.
You walk sit before your mirror, eyes on your reflection as you comb your hair. Your gaze keeps flickering back to Daemon though.
He notices, and can hardly bare it. He haphazardly puts on his dress shirt then grabs his doublet, pacing across the room. He shudders as he chucks his towel on the bed. He huffs and leans on the table where an ewer of wine laid. He chucks his top on the surface beside it and pours himself a drink.
His aim is poor. Red sputters on the table due to his shaky grip. He nearly makes the cup overflow, but manages to control himself. Quickly, the prince downs the alcohol, but it seems to do nothing for his nerves, and absolutely nothing for the maddening nightmare that was torturing him so greatly.
In truth, he did not know if he quivered out of fear or anger because of it. He did not know which part haunted him more, the fact that his subconscious thought this up, or the fact that it might be true.
He gasps when he hears his name. He sets his cup down with a thud and turns over his shoulder. He scratches his eyes as he looks at you, face shining though your brows were furrowed.
"A-are... are you-"
"It's nothing," he quips, stuffing his dress shirt into his trousers.
You shift on your chair to face him and frown, "Daemon."
He freezes, jaw clenching with an unwillingness to confess what was torturing him.
You see his steely gaze and his tensed shoulders. You knew better than to pursue an uncomfortable conversation with him right now, so you lower your gaze and slowly shake your head, "I... I simply wanted to ask if you would help braid my hair."
He freezes, "what?"
"I thought it would be good to-"
Daemon grabs his doublet and hastily wears it, nearly sprinting towards you.
"- have you..." your breath hitches. You look at him through his reflection as he comes behind you, "... do it in the fashion of your house."
His hands tremble as he reaches for your hair.
"... if... it pleases you."
"It pleases me," he blurts, stroking your hair, "thank you."
You shake my head and sigh, "I-... thank you." You lower your gaze to your hands, "might I write while you do this?"
Daemon's brows furrow as you apprehensively turn to him. He shakes his head but then nods, "o... of course."
You watch him reach for the comb.
He feels its weight before shaking his head again, "wh... to whom?"
"My twin," you say simply, opening the drawer to pull out some parchment and ink. Your eyes slowly look at his reflection as you get your quill and shut the drawer.
Daemon nods. He grips the comb and shrugs. He shakes his head before gathering your locks and brushing through it. He clenches his teeth, trying not to sound so sour as he speaks. He fails, "you write to him oft?"
You nearly tell him everyday, but you change it to: "yes."
He notices that you had two pieces of parchment on your table. He cannot help the jealousy that blooms at the idea of you writing long letters for him. "Much to say, have you?"
Your eyes flicker up to him.
Daemon does not look at you as he parts your hair and begins braiding.
"What?"
"You have two pieces of parchment."
"Oh..." you look back to the table, not thinking he'd notice, "the other is for Laenor."
He freezes.
"I do not write to him as oft," you mutter.
Daemon cannot help the sound he makes. His breath hitches as he gathers your dark hair into his fingers. He chuckles rather manically, "of course."
You decide not to reply. You simply leave him to his work as you work on your letters.
You finish writing your letters before he finishes fixing your hair. Daemon watches you fold the notes neatly and prepare wax to seal them off. Part of him wishes to enquire what you have to say to those wretched men, but another part knows he might regret it. Surely, to your brother at least, you would air out your grievances. The prince does not know if he could stomach the knowledge you'd express your hatred for him with someone else.
You melt wax over a candle and seal the letter with your stamp. He watches you do this, and as he does, he imagines all the times you did the same for his letters. He wonders if you did so with the same ease. He wonders if you paid it littler or more attention than this. He wonders if he'd ever be at the receiving end of your affections ever again.
When he gets to the last part of the last braid, he finds himself unwilling to pin it in place with the rest for your hair. He stares at his work, at the interwoven plaits going down your shoulders. He tucks some stray hair behind your ear, so badly wishing he could kiss you.
Perhaps he could, but then you'd push him away. He would not survive.
Finally, he pins the last part of your hair and slowly withdraws his hands, "it is done."
You immediately come to stand and turn to him.
Daemon watches as you look at his unbuttoned doublet. His stomach drops when you begin to fasten them.
"Shall I braid your h-"
"No," he blurts, shaking his head, "I do not want you to touch me."
You freeze, unsure if you heard him correctly. You slowly pull away, "you... you don't want me to touch you?"
"No," he shakes his head.
You knit your brows and nods slowly, "I see... why?"
"Why?" he whispers, as if he was stabbed, "why does it matter? Do you want to touch me?"
"I... I want to be civil with you."
His nostrils flare as he chuckles dryly.
"I do not want to be at war with you."
"But we are!" Daemon blurts, "love is war."
"Says who?" you knit your brows.
"Says my bleeding heart," he mutters, as he fixes his doublet himself. His eyes begin to water, so he turns away.
You feel your throat tighten. You shrug, "is this your way of saying you love me?"
"I have always loved you," he turns back to you, tears staining his cheeks.
You laugh.
He rarely hears such a sound from your lips and seems to hate it. "Mazemā nyke syt iā pirtirys?" he mutters under his breath. You take me for a liar.
You chuckle again and shake your head. You shrug, "mazeman ao syt iā mittys." I take you for a fool.
Daemon lowers his head.
You nearly reach out for him, but then you remember he does not invite your touch. You turn to the door then back to him, "let us be civil today."
"No," he lifts his gaze, walking to the vanity. He grabs a hair tie and does his hair, "I want a peace treaty."
"What?"
"The Stranger has scratched my skin in the Stepstones. I know better than to believe civility can be achieved between your enemies."
You laugh again, but this time, it is far unbearable. It is loud and anxious and broken. You clutch your chest when you begin to feel it tighten, "and I am your enemy, Daemon?"
"Daor," he says desperately. He grabs your arms and rapidly shakes his head, "dōrī ao.... yn nyke." No. Never you... but I.
You stare at him as he slowly pulls away.
"I have become your enemy whether either of us care to admit it or not," he shakes his head as he turns to his feet, "I cannot reconcile my mistakes; I can ask only for a peace treaty."
You rub your forehead as you lean on your chair, "I do not understand."
"You-" he chokes. He clears his throat, "you say look at me and see only grief and loss." He wipes his face, "I do not want it to be so."
You huff and shake your head, "it is not something you can change."
"Not if you don't let me," Daemon mutters, "kostilus..." he shakes his head, "ivestragon nyke skorkydoso olvie yno kostā mōzugon gō ao pykagon nyke hen." He scratches his eyes before looking at you. Please... tell me how much of me you can drink before you spit me out.
"Daemon."
He looks at you, violet eyes shrouded by pink.
"I..." you shake your head, "don't know."
He sighs, "plea-"
"I'm telling you, I don't know."
He sighs again, shaking his head then nodding it, "sȳz." Fine.
You watch him step back and motion to the door.
"After you."
You stare at him for a moment and grip your skirts tightly in your hands. You draw a deep breath before walking off.
When you open the door, you hear the clanking of steel. You see Arryk and Erryk stationed outside your door.
"Princess," they greet in unison.
You frown at them, "Erryk... Arryk."
Arryk's eyes rather unwillingly catch sight of Daemon walking towards you. He clenches his jaw and steps aside, not wanting to see him. Erryk ignores him altogether as he reaches a hand for you, "will we be heading for the solar to break fast?"
You shake your head and push his hands down.
Erryk's jaw feathers as Daemon comes to your side.
Daemon's gaze remains lowered. He mutters softly, "kesan bartos naejot se ripo," before slipping past you and walking off.
Erryk eyes him hotly where Arryk turns to you, giving you a wary look, "what did he say?"
You shake your head and offer a smile, "he said he'll be going to the pit."
Arryk simultaneously thinks how fortunate and cowardly it was that Daemon will be flying off. Erryk says it out loud, "so, he's leaving on Caraxes?"
You rub your belly, "we will be sending our Alaeric and Alyrie off."
The twins freeze.
"I do not know if Daemon spoke to the maesters about it already," you mutter, "would one of you go and check. I... I do not want to see them... not like that."
"I can go," Arryk nods.
You nod rapidly and offer a smile, "thank you."
Just as his brother leaves, Erryk reaches a hand out to you again, "perhaps you ought to break fast."
You shake your head, finally taking his hand, "I... I will be sick."
His brows furrow, "you must promise me you will eat something after then."
"Erryk-"
The shake of his head cuts you off.
You take a deep breath, "you know it is hard."
"Then perhaps you can eat with the prince."
Your eyes widen at the idea.
It takes a moment for Erryk to realize why and he quickly dispels the thought, "Aegon. With your nephew, the prince."
You heave and shake your head.
His jaw tightens, "I would never im-"
"I know," you raise a hand, "I just... I misunderstood. Forgive me."
His nostrils flare, "there is no world in which you could ever do something that offends me."
You come to life when you reach Aegon's quarters. The boy immediately runs towards you. You smile and lean down. He jumps into your arms and you tenderly pick him up, sealing him into a hug
"Aunt!" he beams, clutching your cheeks.
"My boy," you coo, embracing him fondly.
Aegon giggles, his little arms wrapping around you. You remain like this for a moment before he pulls away and grins, clutching your cheeks again, "play!"
You kiss his forehead, "actually, we're going to go outside today."
Aegon blinks, his silver lashes fluttering, "play?"
You rock him in your arms, "zaldrīzes." Dragon.
He gasps.
"Gaomagon jaelā naejot ūndegon iā zaldrīzes?" Do you want to see a dragon?
"KESSA. KESSA!" Aegon cheers in agreement.
With this, you head to your sister's chambers and tell her of your plans for today. Alicent offers you a solemn expression before giving you a hug. She says she will change and inform the king. You then head off to the last person you wished to invite.
"Come in," his voice is deep.
Aegon leans into you as Erryk opens the door. You step into the Hand's office and nod at your father, "hello, my lord."
Otto lifts his gaze from his desk and furrows his brows, "what's happened?"
You shake your head as he slowly comes to a stand. You rub Aegon's back, "nothing... I... I've told Daemon about the twins."
He tenses at the thought, eyes turning to Erryk, who stood just by the door.
"We will be sending them off now."
Sending them off? Otto relaxes when he realizes who you actually meant. He nods and walks towards you. He places a hand on your shoulder, "I am glad."
You gulp as you look at him, unable to hold his gaze any longer.
The walk is long and quiet, save for the babbling of Aegon. He was rather fond of his grandfather's pin, and reached out to it every time Otto got close enough to.
"No," Otto would quip each time, raising a brow at the boy.
Aegon, none the wiser, would giggle, thinking it was a game.
At some point, the old man had to surrender his pin denoting his status to the boy when he managed to get pull on it. With a sigh, he hands it to his grandson.
You immediately pull it away from Aegon when he tries to eat it. You quip with a raised brow, "no."
The sight of your babies on a pyre sends a chill down your spine. The maesters and Arryk are already there, waiting for the rite to commence. The sight is too much, thus why you fix your eyes on Aegon.
Otto notices your discomfort and comes to your side, blocking your view of the pyre with his back. He turns to one of your wards, then the other. He motions with his head, wordlessly beckoning them over.
Erryk and Arryk oblige.
"It would be best if my daughter have this moment with her husband," Otto says, "stay back unless called upon."
Arryk clenches his jaw and Erryk purses his lips. Regardless, they nod and speak in unison, "my lord."
Soon, the king, the queen, and the crown princess arrive. It's rather fitting, for right after, there is a loud screech in the sky. Aegon immediately reacts, gasping as his hands fly up to cover his ears. A flash of red soars overhead.
The poor boy is overwhelmed by the sound of beating wings and begins to clamor and panic. You do your best to calm him and instinctively turn to your sister, finding her clutching her swollen belly in worry. You debate whether you should hand her Aegon, but you decide to try and calm the boy, not wanting to strain her by making her carry the boy.
You turn to my father, who wipes his grandson's cheeks and strokes his head.
You kiss Aegon's cheeks and rock him, beginning to sing, "the fishes swim in seas of blue, and dragons breath fire so red— shhh it's alright."
Caraxes soon lands before the pyre and screeches.
Aegon joins suit, screaming into you shoulder as he clings onto me for dear life.
Daemon sees this, jaw clenching at the sight. He watches Otto block Aegon's view of Caraxes, muttering something to the boy. He watches his sister come forward to calm the boy. He watches you rock him. The Hightowers are unified because of his brother's son. He unsaddles himself from Caraxes.
"DAOR!" Viserys screams, just as the blood wyrm cranes his head dangerously close to you. Rhaenyra gasps as he watches Caraxes seemingly try to attack. The king steps forward, repeating the command, making Caraxes pull his long neck back and screech back in offense.
Aegon shrieks in terror of the loud noise.
The king does not flinch, but he does turn to Daemon, "visagon aōha dyni, valonqar!" Control your beast, (younger) brother.
Daemon calls out to Caraxes, ordering him to calm and obey. He soon is on the ground, marching towards his dragon's head, "gīda ilagon!" He raises his hands, "gīda ilagon." Calm down.
Caraxes huffs through his nostrils.
Aegon wails into your shoulder.
The dragon screeches again.
Daemon grits his teeth, looking over his shoulder. He turns to you then his brother, "visagon aōha tresy." Control your son.
Upon hearing this, you glare at Daemon, "he's just a babe!"
Caraxes bleats at the sound of your voice.
"Do not be so defensive. A babe's wailing is meant to be annoying," Daemon rebuts.
"Here," Alicent mutters, taking Aegon from you.
"Ali-"
"It's alright, sister," she turns to you, kissing her boy, "I can manage." She turns to Otto, "might I have your arm, father?"
Otto obliges.
The two walk off, enough that Caraxes was not so close. You can't help but glare at the beast, though you knew any irritation you had towards him was irrational, as he was just a dragon and Aegon was just a boy.
Caraxes cranes over to you again, letting out another loud noise.
Both Daemon and Viserys call out to the beast, expecting the worst from him. Even Arryk and Erryk, who was watched from afar, grip their swords involuntarily and find themselves stepping closer as Caraxes pushes his snout into you.
Caraxes does nothing perilous but does huff. Still, it garners a corrective command from his rider, who comes in front of you
The beast makes a displeased sound, baring his teeth, frightening Aegon yet again. The sound of the boy's cries make you snap, "lyka, Caraxes," you call out, "skoros gaomā?" Quiet, Caraxes. What are you doing?
Daemon turns to you then Caraxes, calling him to obey.
Viserys watches his brother gaze upon you. He watches Daemon take your hand and reach it out towards his ride. His lips part as Caraxes leans into your joined hands. He turns back to his wife and frowns at the sight of his red faced boy. It was clear Aegon was frightened for you with how he was reached his hand in your direction.
The king sighs and comes to him, taking the boy into his arms. Rhaenyra watches his father rock his half-brother. He watches the boy sigh into his arms. She looks away, focus back to Caraxes.
Daemon leans against Caraxes. He mutters softly to him as he presses your hand into the dragon's snout. The beast is finally calm. You feel the warmth of his scales and you wonder if he'd eat you now that you were no longer carrying his rider's children.
Daemon topples back as Caraxes pushes into him, hard enough to brush against you. You gasp when he nudges your chest.
Your husband recognizes the affection and finds himself unable to bridle his own. He pulls you into his chest, pretending it was out of concern— to keep you upright. He presses his arm against yours, his palm resting on the back of your hand. He links his fingers into yours and rests your joined hands atop Caraxes, whispering, "he missed you."
You chuckle, looking over your shoulder to Daemon, "that's not possible."
Daemon leans his forehead against yours and you immediately look away. Though the sentiment hurt, he looks back at his mount and persists, "yet it's true."
Caraxes huffs and begins to curl before you. He then lies down, shaking his head as he did.
Daemon's eyes turn to the pyre, throat tightening at the sight of the two small bodies, wrapped up in cloth. It was no longer white, as time brought a brownish hue to it.
You look at him when he withdraws his hand. You watch his jaw clench as he looks to the distance. You pull away to place a hand on his rib, "do you want to go closer?"
His hand comes atop yours. For a moment, you remember how he said he didn't want your touch, but instead of pushing you away, he squeezes you. His lowers his head and licks his lips, "I am unworthy."
You face him fully. You shake your head and fix his collar, "you are their father."
You entire body seems to react when he speaks your name. Your shoulders tense. Your breath hitches. Your eyes water.
He watches you intently. He takes your hands and clutches by his chest. He frowns and leans closer, daring to press his forehead into you again.
You let him. You close your eyes and let him press against you. Tears rush down your cheeks.
"Would they have liked me?" Daemon whispers.
You chuckle bitterly, eyes opening. You see that his face is just as teary as yours. You sniffle and shake your head, "the gods only know."
Daemon wipes his nose on his sleeve.
You both walk towards the pyre. Caraxes lifts his head to look down upon you. Daemon frowns when he sees just how tiny the bodies are. He notices then they smell like the oil you put on yourself, albeit mustier. He cares little about the unpleasant undertone and presses a kiss on both their bodies.
When he pulls away, he takes deep breath and mutters, "kepa iksis kesīr, Alaeric se Alyrie... shijetra nyke... geros ilas." Father is here, Alaeric and Alyrie... forgive me... good bye.
Daemon turns to you, his hold on you tightening, "gaomagon emā mirros naejot ivestragon?" Do you have anything to say?
You step forward, biting your lips as gaze upon your babes. You release Daemon, immediately bursting into tears. You reach out to them one last time, lips trembling, "I wish you knew how much I love you."
You nearly topple back as you pull away.
Daemon reaches for you, one hand on your arm, the other on your back. He rests his head on yours, his voice is pained as he mutters, "they know," he shakes his head and presses a kiss on your ear. He whispers, "everyone knows."
You crumble. You turn to him and sob into his chest.
He wraps his arms around you, stroking your hair. He calls out your name, "I'm here now."
You whine.
"It would take sword and flame to sever me from you."
When you were calm enough, Daemon leads you off. He is vigilant of his surroundings but more importantly, you. By the time you and him stand far away enough, Caraxes inspects the pyre before him. He sniffs it and shakes his head. He cranes his neck back, looking at his master. They share a silent understanding.
Daemon has his arm around you as you continue to weep into his chest. He rubs your shoulder, looking down upon you, "would you like to give the command?"
You sniffle and look up to him, "what?"
He turns to Caraxes, who is already stood in attention rather knowingly, "I think he would obey if you commanded."
You shake your head, turning to Caraxes, "I do not want to." You face the pyre, wiping your face, "I've given them their sorrowful beginning. I do not wish to give them their sorrowful end."
Daemon clenches his jaw, "very well." He rubs your shoulders, "when you're ready."
You sigh, leaning into him, "I will never be."
He does not reply. He does, however, squeeze your shoulders.
You turn to him, a line between your brows, "when you're ready, Daemon."
He turns to you just as you look forward. He sniffles and turns to his mount, "Caraxes."
Caraxes rumbles.
The prince takes a deep breath, eyes fixed upon his children, "dracarys."
You gasp at the burn of the flames. The fire is so bright, it's like the sun stops shining for a moment. It's fitting, for that is what it felt to lose them. Warmth cascades across the ground. Caraxes screeches upon finishing his task. Aegon weeps again.
Daemon takes you back to the Keep on dragonback. He is grateful you agreed, though he knows it was more because you felt too weak to walk, rather than the fact you wanted to keep his company.
When he arrives at the pit, Caraxes squawks in recognition of the dragon that seemed to have just arrived, judging by the amount of servants and dragon keepers around.
When you land, hear a voice call for you and you look, not recognizing the voice. Daemon does, just as he recognizes the dragon.
Daemon dismounts and helps you down. You hear your name called out again, "who-"
"Princess!"
Your lips part as you turn to see the young man running towards you. You recognize him solely from his hair, "Laenor?"
Daemon eyes the boy as he bows. He eyes the flowers in his hand. Quickly, his eyes are averted back to you when you begin to weep.
Laenor is mortified. He nearly drops the bouquet as he calls out your name.
"Forgive me," you wipe your face and shake your head, "it is good to see you," you say, breaking into a soft chuckle, "to finally meet you."
Laenor gives a half-hearted smile as he nods, "it is good to meet you, though... I hear you have just come from the pyre."
You sniffle and nod, linking your hands together, "yes... I... we-" you turn to Daemon, "put our children to rest."
Laenor nods slowly, looking between the two of you, "my deepest condolences princess, prince."
You turn to him, finding he was offering you pink flowers.
"Bougainvillea," says the young lord, "I thought to bring you flowers since you wrote of picking them oft."
Your lips wobble and you sob even more.
Daemon clenches his jaw, reaching out to you.
He doesn't reach you though, as soon, you've thrown yourself into Laenor's arms.
The Velaryon yelps in surprise but naturally returns your affections.
"Thank you," you mutter, squeezing him tightly.
He chuckles, matching the intensity of your embrace, "it's nothing really, I saw some on my way. I'm glad you appreciate it."
When you pull away, Laenor catches the withering glare Daemon was shooting his way. He widens his eyes, only because he dares not to roll them, then hands you the flowers.
You gratefully take them, "thank you."
"You're welcome."
"I wrote to you just this morn."
"Did you?" his brow quirks, "you might be glad to know you needn't do anymore."
Your brows furrow.
"I..." he smiles softly, "... am promised to Princess Rhaenyra."
Daemon's brow quirks.
"Oh," you mutter, "oh..." your lips wobble, "d-does that mean you will be staying here?"
Laenor chuckles, "yes, I-"
He grunts when you embrace him again.
Daemon looks away and scoffs.
"That's wonderful!" you sob, "oh, my dear Laenor."
Laenor chuckles as he pulls away, "surely mine own company is not so much a relief from my uncle's."
"Careful, boy," Daemon snaps, eyes narrowing, "I respect you, but that doesn't mean I like you."
Laenor's eyes widen again, "of course, uncle."
"In any case," you wipe your philtrum, "I am glad to have a friend."
Friend... I could be your friend, thinks Daemon.
Laenor nods, "as am I."
With that, Laenor walks off and you turn to the Bougainvilleas in your hands.
"You write to Laenor about flowers?"
You turn to Daemon, seeing him grind his teeth. You nod simply, "upon his request."
He opens his mouth but then shuts it. Would you have obliged himhis request if he ever wrote back to you? He banishes the thought and turns to the ground, "you should plant them."
Your brows quirk at the thought.
"Grow them in your garden," he turns around, walking back to Caraxes.
You watch him caress his dragon. You mutter to yourself, "that's not how that works."
You wait for him to finish doting on his ride. You stare at your flowers as you do so.
When Daemon turns back, he sees you gently caressing the pink buds. He imagines you doing the same to his cheeks and lips; it makes him rapidly shake his head and call your name.
You look up at him.
Daemon's lips are curved into a frown, "I do not keep you prisoner."
Your brows furrow, "what?'
He motions with his head, "go."
You turn to where he motioned, eyes immediately falling on Laenor. You look back at him, "I-"
"He's surely famished from a long ride," he slowly turns back to Caraxes, stroking his scales. The dragon huffs, lying down. "I doubt you've eaten yourself."
You stare at him, brows knitting together.
He turns back to you, "go to him. Be with your friend."
You pull your head back, "I-"
"I wish to clear my head," he pats Caraxes, "I'll do it in the sky."
Of course, what he really wanted was to find solace in your arms, but he tries to convince himself flying will be just as good. After all, that was how he calmed himself before... before you.
"I'll be back before dark," he mutters, walking off to mount Caraxes.
You watch him climb on his dragon's back. You watch him as he commands Caraxes to stand.
You nearly ask him to stay, but your memories convince you to do otherwise.
You gasp softly when Caraxes takes off.
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under-clouds-and-stars · 14 hours ago
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yeah, the ADF has several lines that are too reminiscent of prior pseudo-nationalist/revisionist rhetoric for comfort. hinting at the idea that germans are singularly guilted and down-trodden on the world stage and need to have a cultural reawakening to how great their history is bound to lead to a nationalist mindset. much of the emphasis put upon the holocaust in german society didn't come from outside influence, but by the next generation of germans upon reaching adulthood in the 60s-70s, and realizing how little they had been told about anything by their parents. i cannot speak to the way its presented in germany today, i've never been there, but the arguments used by some prominent afd members are nothing new in the "revitalization" of the holocaust legacy. the holocaust-in terms of the complacency needed and the industrial-ilke manner that it was carried out with-was entirely unique, and should never be forgotten.
i don't know tons about the adf in-depth, but they seem populist, which is a bad sign in and of itself. whatever legitimate concerns they have about immigration (and yes, there are plenty. islamic cultures have values that are absolutely contradictory to ones held in a modern-day germany, and so massive amounts of people from these cultures permanently moving in, without taking their troubling views into account, poses huge problems for the maintaining of civil rights, especially of women and jews) their rhetoric is worrying. undoubtedly several members of it have been outspokenly revisionist and have blown actual anti-semitic/racist dog whistles. if i were german, i would not vote for them. but i don't think that everyone voting for this party is a bona-fide white supremacist either, though; many people vote out of anxiety over what they see immediately around them and do not think in the long-term. that's just my view of it as a non-european, can't do any better than that.
for a man so obnoxious as to make holocaust jokes after being accused of nazism, him showing up on stream for the afd could be anything from just another show of how edgy-controversial he is, or genuinely buying into revisionist rhetoric. i don't claim to know his motivations for doing it, and i hope for everyone's sake he doesn't hold racist views in his heart. also, i dont see why an american should weigh in on german politics like that. i would certainly be pissed if some rich german phoned in to try and influence US politics, so i hate it on that principal alone
considering that he is an avid and vocal supporter of israel (reportedly even censoring tweets that referred to "de-colonization" of Gaza, which is definitely an overreach of his power) nazism would be a weird stance to take. whatever your view on israel and its actions, his insistence that the destruction in gaza is justified in order save israelis from genocide, and pouring tons of cash into the campaign of a pro-israel president, cannot be squared with him secretly hating jews and being a nazi. you can argue its all a front, but he's certainly put his money where his mouth is. he don't seem thoughtful enough to be playing 4-d chess or anything.
also, jic, i am aware that there was a movement among the nazis in pre-war germany to get european jews to immigrate to israel. because they hated them and didn't want them there. if millions of european jews had done so back then, do you think the nazis would've shed a single freaking tear about them being killed after the fact. the motivations behind these two positions are completely opposed, and i hate how often this is brought up because its disingenuous.
here's the thing. i do not argue that the video above does not look bad. it does. what i argue is that it is dishonest and unfair to paint anyone who has any doubt that he meant to do a nazi salute as a brainwashed idiot, shill, or a nazi. by and large that is what people on this site and others are saying, the insistence that everyone in that room knowingly and whole-heartedly applauded a sieg heil is ludicrous. side note, USA-only politics i know, but the whole freaking media circuit and the former VP tried to act like they had just noticed that biden was mentally impaired after his incomprehensible debate with trump went viral, when conservatives had been pointing it out for years. i didn't see progressive leftist-twitter going nuts and quoting 1984 over that.
i'm done spending my time on this fiasco. from a cursory at your blog and replies, we are so different we will never agree on a single point. you would consider me a "christofascist" i guarantee it. case in point: i first read "AFD" as "ADF" looked up the "Alliance Defending Freedom" and went "well, i gotta say; at first glance they seem pretty alright to me
make of that what you will ig
USA... Elon Musk just did the sieg heil (nazi salut to Hitler)
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witherby · 2 days ago
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WOAAH!!
Flight of Fancy reached 330+ notes!
ive never seen a request of mine blow up!!!!
—🦈
You have good ideas! And because the first part reached the reblog threshold, here's:
Flight of Fancy, pt. 2
Damian x Winged!Reader
Masterlist is Here!
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"This is deep, and was made with a plain-edge blade. Whoever did this to you was trying to hurt you much worse than this."
Damian looks your wound over meticulously as you sit on a chair in the cave's medical bay. "What happened?"
You shrug your good shoulder, examining the space around you with clear intrigue. The Bat Cave was incredibly interesting, with all its different sections and complicated layout. You itched to explore it in its entirety. Maybe Damian would let you when he finished patching you up.
"I wanted to be free. The men who captured me did not approve."
Damian hums. He uses a pair of surgical scissors to cut off the sleeve of your robe to further expose the injury in your shoulder, and you let him do it without fuss. He grabs a wet cloth to clean the blood away and see it all better.
"Why did they capture you in the first place?"
You frown. Your wings, which are currently tucked against your back, flex and flutter briefly. You resist the urge to pluck at your feathers.
"They hunted me down," you explain, "and took me from my home. Said they needed me for what I can do."
Damian picks up a needle and thread to begin sewing the cut closed. You don't object when he warns you of what he's about to do or flinch when he starts.
"And what can you do?" He asks.
You don't respond. Damian sees your jaw clench, eyes darting towards where you know one of the exits to be.
"Alright," he says, "that's fair. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."
"You are not angry with me?" You ask.
"No. We're practically strangers," he says, tying off the stitchwork and snipping off the excess thread. He grabs a roll of bandages to cover it, and you hold your arm out to give him better access. "Telling me what abilities you possess might lead to exploitation on your part. The safest move is to keep sensitive information close to your chest. I don't even know your name. I'm not angry, I'm impressed."
"Impressed indeed."
Both you and Damian look in the direction of the medical bay's entrance and find Bruce at the door, geared up in his Batman suit. To his credit, he doesn't look as mad as the boy expected.
"I'll need a word with you when you're finished, Robin."
"Of course," Damian replies. He secures your bandage and pulls away. You drop your arm. "Will you be alright alone for a few minutes?"
"I will."
Damian excuses himself, closing the door to the bay and facing his father.
"You're going to tell me off for compromising the cave, and potentially our identities," he says immediately, "and that's fair. However, I informed Red Robin ahead of time so he could hide any documentation, and the Batmobile took a scrambled route here, so they have no way of being able to track the location of the cave once they leave it. They know nothing, and they've seen nothing that can implicate any of us."
"That's not what I'm concerned about," Bruce says. "I'm wondering why you've brought them to begin with. The victims we help in the field don't come back to the cave, ever. That's the part of the protocol I need to know why you broke."
"They're a metahuman, father," Damian says, "and all of Gotham knows your rule. Where else was I supposed to bring a wounded trafficking victim if a human hospital would've turned them away the second they spotted huge wings and golden blood?"
"To the metahuman outpost on the edge of the city limits—"
"— which was being scouted and surrounded by Luthor's henchmen at the time of retrieval."
Bruce purses his lips. "You could have radioed a Leaguer to take them somewhere else."
"It's three-thirty in the morning. Half of them are asleep and won't wake up for a non-emergency summons, and the rest are either off-world, can't get here for immediate extraction, or they're busy protecting their own sectors." Damian crosses his arms and scowls at his dad. "I'm not one of your brainless coworkers incapable of any critical thought. I'm your Robin, and I know what I'm doing. This was the safest and most logical action to take for now."
Bruce sighs. He rests a palm on his hip and nods begrudgingly.
"I understand your reasoning," he says. "In the future, I'm going to update our metahuman contingencies to account for lack of recovery points. For now, you're in charge of keeping an eye on them until morning. Is that understood?"
"Yes."
"Good." Bruce turns away and heads for a different section of the cave. "I'll contact Superman and try to coordinate a retrieval. If he's indisposed, someone will take your place and keep watch until we can safely get them to the outpost."
Damian doesn't reply. He watches him disappear down the corridor, then reenters the medbay to find you missing from your chair.
"...hello?" He frowns, glancing around. There's only one way in and out of there, so he's not sure how you vanished. "Are you hiding?"
"No," you say. Damian looks up to find you perched on the edge of the fluorescent lighting. He has to squint to see you properly.
Your wings are out, flexing and adjusting to help you keep your balance on the light fixture. You look down at Damian with a small smile.
"I can hear many winged creatures in the adjacent rooms. There are none in here, though. I looked."
"Bats," Damian clarifies for you. "They're not allowed in this section because it has to stay well-sanitized. Bats have a tendency to carry disease."
"Is that why the bat-man could not speak with you in here?" You ask. Damian almost snorts.
"No, he's a human. He just dresses like...it's...it makes sense," Damian says, somehow embarrassed by your innocent curiosity. "His moniker is Batman. He's not a real bat. Just like my moniker is Robin, but I'm not a real bird."
You tip your body over until you fall from the light. Damian instinctively extends his arms to catch you, alarmed, but your wings flare out to their full length and help you coast gently to the floor again.
"May I go see them?" You ask. "The real bats?"
"If you promise not to touch them, yes."
You pout, bottom lip jutting out slightly, but don't argue. Damian automatically thinks back on how plush your lips felt against his and looks away.
"Do you have any other injuries that need treated before we leave this room?" He asks.
"I do not," you reply, reaching for the buttons on the front of your robe, popping them open one by one. "If you must examine me..."
Damian physically turns his whole body away from you, wishing his domino mask covered more than just his eyes so he could hide the redness of his cheeks. "No I don't! That's fine, you can keep your clothes on!"
You tilt your head, but don't ask about his flustered behavior. Instead, you reach past him for the door and turn the knob, stepping into the corridor.
"Don't leave the cave," Damian says, walking after you. "It's imperative that you stay here. You're not a prisoner, but this is the safest move for you right now."
"I will not leave," you promise. You look upward as you go, scanning for signs of any bats hanging out on the ceiling. When you find a cluster of them, you spread your wings again.
Hesitating, you glance at Damian over your shoulder.
"Project Angel," you tell him. "That is what they called me, in the laboratory. It's not my real name. You may use the... moniker of Angel."
Damian watches you push off of the ground, soaring into the air with a dizzying speed to admire the animals up above.
"Angel," he whispers, watching your graceful movements with unabashed awe. "Fitting."
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gumii-bearr · 1 day ago
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❝ too late for sorry ❞
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summary: suguru wants to try something a little different.
featuring... suguru geto
content warning: MDNI (18+), afab!reader, mentions of alcohol (everyone involved is sober), face-sitting, blowjob, handjob, cunnilingus, edging, deepthroating??, 69ing, cum eating, tattooed!geto, pierced!geto, bruising??, slightly mean!geto, overstimulation, fingering, creampie, belly bulge, cockwarming, unprotected sex (DONT DO IT!!!), face-fucking, size kink, reader wearing thigh highs, spanking, possessive!geto, naughty!reader, cervix kissing, dick piercings, i fucking hope that's it.
author's note: i need to be put in horny jail.
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"Sugu... this is so embarrassing..."
Suguru grins against the skin of your thigh, too busy peppering wet kisses to the backs of your reddened thighs and your pretty plush ass to give a fuck if you're embarrassed.
It was your own damn fault for wearing that impossibly tiny mini skirt and thigh-highs out tonight. You were hanging out with your boyfriend and his friends, spending the night at a bar playing pool and drinking.
And every time you would bend over to line up your shot in pool, the whole damn bar could see where your soft thighs met your ass and if anyone knew you better, they'd know you weren't wearing any panties.
Gojo was being a dick, sticking his tongue against the inside of his cheek as he took a pervy look at your cute little ass as you jumped around with Shoko, excited about pocketing a ball.
Geto's jaw was clenched, eyes dark and narrowed as he watched you lean against the bar, ordering another drink for you and Shoko and blissfully unaware of the fact that every man with a pulse and a brain was checking you out.
He was quiet for the rest of the night, insisting you put on his baggy leather jacket (that completely covered your ass all the way to your mid-thigh), and keeping an arm around your shoulder the whole night.
He wouldn't tell you what was bothering him, keeping his jaw tight with tension and frustration, keeping a protective arm around your waist or over your shoulder, not even offering you the reassurance of looking you in the eye.
You were in trouble.
You knew you were from the moment he handed you his jacket and told you to put it on. Not asked you; told you.
Which led you to a silent ride home, a possessive tattooed hand clutching your thigh as you drove home in silence other than the quiet hum of whatever was on the radio.
Geto didn't wait for you when you got home.
He pushed the front door open, kicked his shoes off and strolled upstairs, leaving you to bend down to unclasp the strap around your ankle, pull off your heels and bite at your lip anxiously.
You slowly padded upstairs, hands clutching Suguru's jacket nervously.
You pushed open your bedroom door. Geto was sitting on the edge of the bed, thighs spread slightly as obviously waiting for you to summon the courage to face whatever he had in store for you.
"C'mere," he patted his thigh and you gulped down the lump in your throat, closing the bedroom door behind you.
You kept your head down as you padded over to your boyfriend, his gaze completely blank as you perched your little ass on his strong thigh. He rested a hand over your thighs, the other holding at your hip.
You attempted to suck up to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning in to kiss his cheek.
Suguru chuckled softly, "tryna suck up to me, princess?"
"No," you lie, averting your gaze and feeling your cheeks heat with embarrassment.
"You know why I'm mad?" Suguru asks, raising a curious brow.
"No," you say again, this time the truth.
"Think about it, pretty."
You genuinely do, your brows furrowed in thought as you chew the inside of your cheek. Suguru's fingers draw little circles on the exposed skin of your thigh above your cute thigh-high socks and below the hem of your skirt.
"Did I drink too much?" You ask curiously.
"No," he tilts his head slightly, "keep thinking."
You pout, "I don't know, Sugu."
"Maybe I have to help you a little, hm?"
You nod quickly, eyes big and doe-like as you stare at him.
So cute, so naive.
Suguru gets you to stand up, turning you around as you stand between his legs before patting his thigh again. You give him a confused look and he chuckles lowly, "bend over, baby."
You make a little noise of protest, knowing what he's going to do. He doesn't offer you any sympathy and you do as you're told, leaning over his thighs and propping your ass up.
Suguru flips your skirt over your hips without a word, rubbing the back of your thigh with his large tattooed hand, his cold rings against your hot skin sending a shiver up your spine.
He wordlessly traces the tip of his finger around your exposed pussy lips and it finally dawns on you.
"Ringing any bells, princess?"
"M'sorry–!"
"Too late for sorry, pretty."
Suguru lands a hard smack! to your ass and you whimper, feeling your cunt pulse at the stinging pain. Another hard smack! and he soothes it by rubbing the reddened skin.
Sometimes Suguru doesn't know his own strength and judging by the angry welt already forming on your ass, you don't either.
But holy fuck, you love it.
You whine as Suguru lands another smack to your pretty ass, completely silent as he watches you struggle and wiggle away from his mean punishment of your poor ass.
But he knows you like it.
He can tell from the way your pussy glistens, slick slipping from your needy little hole. Suguru pressed the tip of his finger against your slit, rubbing your clit slightly.
You moan pathetically at the simple touch, thighs pressing and rubbing together as Suguru rubs tight circles on your little clit. You pant at the feeling, pushing your ass back onto his hand.
"What do you say?"
"M'sorry, Sugu– Please, I'm so sorry, I'll never do it again!" you whine out, panting slightly as tears prick at the corners of your eyes, mascara staining your under-eyes.
"Oh, you won't, huh?" He questions, rubbing his hand over your red-raw skin.
You shake your head, "mm-mm, I promise."
Suguru chuckles softly before pulling his fingers away from your cunt, earning a whine from your pretty lips. He forces you to stand between his legs, your thighs shaking and ass sore.
"Gonna do as you're told?"
"Mhm," you nod quickly.
Suguru slowly peels his jacket from your shoulders, letting it fall in a heap on the ground. His hands pull your top over your head, your arms flying up instinctually. He forces your skirt down your legs and over your ass, watching as you hiss and whine slightly at the tenderness.
"You're gonna sit on my face, baby," Suguru says after a beat.
Your eyes widen, "no, Sugu– it's so embarrassing."
"You're gonna do as you're told, hm?" He raises a brow and you whine, pressing your face against his broad shoulder. "Come on, baby. S'gonna feel good."
You pause for a moment before nodding, a pout pulling at your bottom lip. Suguru smirks devilishly, large hands on your hips to pull you close.
He plants a gentle kiss to your lips and you instantly melt into his touch. Suguru knows exactly what to do to get you to behave for him.
Suguru manhandles you onto the bed, peeling his shirt over his head and tugging your smaller frame onto him, forcing you to straddle his chest, your hands planted on the bed beside his thighs.
"Sugu... this is so embarrassing..."
Suguru kisses your reddened thighs, his spit shining against your skin in the soft glow of the bedside lamp. Your forehead falls against his rock-hard abs when he presses a wet kiss to your glistening pussy, immediately tasting your sweet arousal.
You whine at the feeling, hands curling into the sheets as Suguru licks at your clit, his arms curling under your thighs and thumbs pulling your pussy lips apart.
"There she is," Suguru groans, voice low as he flicks his tongue over your clit before dragging his tongue up your slit to dip into your awaiting hole.
"Sugu– Please–!" You moan and cry pathetically as Suguru tongue-fucks you, forcing your ass down onto his face.
He pulls away after a moment, landing another smack! to your ass. You whine at the sting.
"Go on, princess. Use that pretty mouth of yours," he encourages, slightly grinding the bulge in his pants against the side of your face.
Your hands are shaky as you unbuckle his belt, pulling the faux leather from his belt loops and throwing it haphazardly onto the floor. You slowly unzip his pants and he helps you wiggle them down his thighs, leaving you to stare at the intimidating bulge of his hard cock in his boxers.
Suguru continues his assault on your poor pussy, purposefully teasing you by avoiding your swollen clit and kitten-licking at your clenching hole.
You eye his cock, always intimidated by the piercings in his dick pressing against the fabric of his boxers. Suguru has the underside of his dick pierced from the base to the tip and he loves to watch your face as your tight hole catches on each barbell.
You shakily pull his cock from his boxers, barely able to fit your hand around the entire thickness of it. The mushroom tip is red and leaky with precum, your mouth watering at the sight.
You kitten-lick at his tip, moaning at the musky taste of his cum. You nervously take the tip in your mouth, hollowing your cheeks and gathering all your saliva into your cheeks, letting it dribble messily down his length.
Suguru groans against your exposed cunt, never getting tired of having your mouth wrapped around his big cock.
He presses his fingers against your hole, pushing two fingers into your tightness and chuckling softly at how your eager pussy greedily sucks his fingers in.
"Mm– Feels s'good," you whine, hand slowly dragging up and down Suguru's cock now wet with your saliva.
"Told you you'd like it," he retorts, finger-fucking you as you push your ass and hips back to meet the thrust of his fingers.
"Mm– I wanna cum s'bad," you moan.
"Not yet, princess. Haven't even had my cock down your throat yet," Suguru pulls his fingers from your cunt, pressing them to his lips to taste your sweetness and you whine in protest.
You take a breath before taking Suguru's cock into your mouth, back arching as Suguru toys with your clit. You inch your mouth further down his cock, dribbling spit everywhere as your lips graze over each piercing threaded through his cock.
"S'good, baby," Suguru grunts, hips involuntarily bucking into your mouth, forcing you to gag on his tip.
Your hands clutch his strong thighs, Suguru's arms wrap around your lower back, forcing your pussy down onto his mouth as you take as much of his cock into your mouth as you can, fist curling around what you can't fit.
You bob your head slowly, tongue swirling around the tip on your way up and lying flat on the way down. You moan around his cock when Suguru bucks his hips again, tip hitting the back of your throat.
"Good fucking girl," Suguru praises as he fucks your face, mouth lewdly slurping up your arousal.
You feel your belly start to burn and you know Suguru can tell you're about to cum with how your cunt spasms and your hips grind messily against his mouth.
He pulls away and you whine around his cock, "do you deserve to cum, baby?"
You bob your head on his cock, "mm–"
"I don't think you do," Suguru bucks his hips up, "fuck–"
Suguru pulls his cock from your mouth with a pop, his cock twitching as hot ropes of cum spill from the tip, painting your face with his cum.
You sit up, ass pressed to Suguru's chest as you peer over your shoulder at him, one eye forced closed as his cum drips down your cheek.
"Aw, sweet girl," Suguru coos, sitting up and forcing you between his legs, reaching for his shirt to wipe the cum off your face. "You did s'good."
"Sugu–" you whine, thighs pressing together.
"You wanna cum?" Suguru holds your chin in his hand.
You nod quickly, "I-I'll be good."
"Oh yeah?"
"Mhm, I promise, please, please–"
God, he can't deny you when you're begging.
Suguru lies back on the bed, his hand resting behind his head, strong and thick tattooed arms flexing as he does. He smirks at you before reaching a hand out for you.
"Fuck yourself on my cock then, baby."
You take his hand, thighs shaky as you straddle his hips. You reach a hand underneath you to guide his tip to your sopping hole. You sigh at the feeling, his tip stretching you open.
"That's my girl," Suguru praises, a hand resting on your hip to help guide you down on his cock.
The piercings along the underside of his cock catch against your tight hole, making you whine and gasp with every drag of the jewellery against your gummy walls.
"S'big, Sugu," you cry, hands planted on his abdomen and nails scraping against the taut skin.
You whine once you fully seat yourself on his cock, your belly bulges at the fullness and Suguru presses his hand to the bump in your belly, pressing down on it and forcing a choked moan from your throat.
Your back arches and you feel like you're about to cum without Suguru even fucking you. You cockwarm him for several seconds before Suguru scoffs, wraps his hands over your thighs and fucks his cock up into you.
You scream out at the feeling, his tip fucking against your cervix. You bounce on his cock, fucking yourself absolutely stupid on his thickness.
Your slick coats his cock, a white ring forming around the base of his cock with how hard and fast he's fucking up into you. Your thighs quiver as you bounce, your muscles sore and weak and surely going to fucking kill in the morning.
"That's it, doing so good," Suguru presses his rough thumb against your clit, rubbing tight circles around the hard bud as your slick coats his balls and his pelvis.
"M'gonna cum!" you whine out, bouncing hard on his cock as your belly burns.
"Cum f'me, princess."
You cum with a choked moan, coating Suguru's cock, his thighs and the sheets with your orgasm.
Suguru bucks up into you through your high, his cock prodding at your cervix and piercings dragging against your gummy walls, making you fucking dizzy with pleasure.
You fall against his chest with a huff, panting and sweating, bodies sticky and clammy from your little marathon.
Suguru pets your hair, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, cock still snug in your cunt. He runs his fingertips down your back, soothing you and bringing you back down to earth as you curl your fists against his chest.
"You didn't wear panties on purpose, huh?"
You smile against his chest, "maybe."
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author's note: had to repost cus tumblr was being DUMB >:|
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justjudethoughts · 2 days ago
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The hardest part about recovering from Religious OCD is that you are eventually going to have to make the most terrifying leap of faith in the world: to admit that you have done all you can, and trust that God is going to take care of the rest.
For someone who has never experienced OCD, that probably doesn't sound scary at all. But believe me, when you seriously believe that your immortal soul is on the line, that kinda of trust take every last thing you have.
To trust that He wants you in heaven more than you want to be in heaven. To trust that He knows how much you love Him, even when you think that you aren't positive that you love Him. To trust that jumping through hoops isn't what gets you to heaven—His arms are.
For a Catholic, that probably looks like trusting your loved ones when they tell you that you don't need to go to confession. "Okay, but what if I did that time, and it happens to be the ONE time I wasn't obsessing?" 1) the likelihood of that happening is slim to none BUT 2) if it did, do you really think a God Who is love and mercy itself would hold that against you? Don't you know that He knows how confused and scared you are? Don't you know that He knows that you are trusting your loved ones because your brain can't be trusted? Don't you know that He knows that you love Him so much you want to never, ever, ever hurt Him, and you are just trying to be healthy? That is the leap of faith you have to make.
For an Evangelical, it likely looks like doing your best to dismiss questions about whether or not you are saved. You did what you knew to do. You repented, you were baptized, you love God and you are continuing to seek Him out. "But what if I didn't repent right?" --- If you weren't repentant, you wouldn't be worried about it. You love Jesus with everything in you. I know you do. Because if you didn't, you wouldn't be sobbing over the sinner's prayer, trying to say it "correctly." Jesus knows. Jesus knows Your heart, and He came to earth for you, and the misfiring neurons in your brain are not going to be what determines your eternal salvation. He wants you. And you want Him. And that's enough. That's your leap of faith.
And some point, you have to throw your hands in the air and say "Jesus, I did everything I can. I'm scared, and I'm confused, and I don't understand anything, and I don't know what to do anymore. So will you figure it out for me?" And rest in that. Because He will figure it out for you. You don't need to be solving all those mental puzzles. He knows the answers.
He is not mad at you for being confused. He is not upset with you for being scared. He is not angry that you don't have all the answers. Righteousness is not necessarily determined by clarity. He is not impatient with you for being a little lost. He does not begrudge you for your illness.
That is the scariest leap of faith you will ever take. But brothers and sisters, there is freedom on the other side. There is joy on the other side. And Christ will catch you when you jump.
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legalandnotease · 2 days ago
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This is what is known as a suspicously specific denial. Tony fans absolutely believe Bucky does not deserve support or redemption and alwas have.
They have believed every day for 9 years that Bucky deserves to die and it pains them that Tony did not kill him.
Why? Simple: he commited the only unforgivable sin in their sight: he hurt Tony.
They will say things like "I am not blaming him" to cover this fact. They are blaming him. They do believe he's beyond redemption and they want him dead. They always have.
The rest of this is so much desperate reaching.
While people blame Tony for not accepting that Bucky’s not in control and is changed, they forget and ignore the fact that in less than 48 hours, Tony himself experienced proof to the opposite.
Tony has faced *far more dangerous* opponents than a man with a hand gun. Which is all Bucky was in that scene. A man with a hand gun.
Tony had before this point faced gods, genocidal murderbots of his own making. Terrorists. Clint Barton tried to kill him in Avengers. Yet oddly, Tony fans don't demand his death for that.
A man with a gun was *nothing* to Tony. He had entered that situation equipped to defend himself and knowing there might be danger. We are shown in the movie that Tony also absolutely knew about Bucky's mind control. He called him Manchurian Candidate, after a character in a movie who was captured by the Soviets, brainwashed into becoming an assassin and triggered using certain words. The parallels are undeniable.
Even Sebastian Stan made the comparison. The fact Tony called Bucky that reveals he knows what had happened to Bucky in great detail. He even knows about the trigger words: which means he also knows that Bucky is not inherently dangerous.
So the real point of this post @elenajones23 is to try and justify Tony's murder of Bucky in Siberia by presenting Bucky as dangerous and Tony's actions not as a deliberate revenge-killing, which multiple canon sources confirm it was, but as some kind of jusifiable self-defense.
It was no such thing. Tony in Siberia was the opposite of defenseless. He was in a suit that could withstand a bomb blast, laden with weapons, trying to brutally murder a then unarmed man in revenge.
Bucky was never a serious danger to him. Even 48 hours before, and he knew it. Tony fans just pretend it is so because they don't want to admit their "hero" is a vindictive and sadistic would-be murderer.
I always see Anti-Team Cap and Pro-Tony discuss how Tony attacking Bucky and Steve was justified and made sense, and yes, I totally agree with them, and regardless of the fact that Tony attacked Steve first because Steve was the one who lied and betrayed him, there is one thing that I haven’t seen be discussed much.
And it’s this scene right here:
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Look at Tony’s face. Look at the shock and fear.
Bucky had no way of knowing that Tony could have protected himself, and he aimed right at Tony’s head. Look at the proximity of the weapon to Tony’s face. He could’ve blown his mind clear off if Tony wasn’t fast enough.
Tony had absolutely no way of knowing that Bucky “had changed” when literally just what? Days? Hours? Moments? ago, he could’ve died at Bucky’s hands.
That’s all I have to say.
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enderlovez · 2 days ago
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can you write another kindergarten teacher!reader x spencer where he comes in as like a special guest to read to her students🥹 and then he stays to eat lunch with her
Story Time
Spencer Reid x Kindergarten Teacher Reader WORD COUNT: 1000+
Summary: Spencer comes and reads to your students for storytime.
Content Warning: Maybe some spelling errors, but otherwise nothing. I actually love writing kindergarten teacher reader x Spencer!!! It makes me feel all warm and happy inside
────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ──────
The buzz of the classroom feels electric today, like a thousand tiny bees flitting through the air. Your students can hardly stay in their seats, their excitement nearly bubbling over as you explain that you'll be having a very special guest joining you for storytime today.
Of course, they don't know who it is yet. That's the surprise.
"Miss Y/N, is it a prince?" asks Lily, her shiny brown eyes wide and hopeful.
"Or a pirate?" chimes in Jacob, swinging around an imaginary sword.
You smile and shake your head. "Not quite. But he is one of my favorite people, and I think you're all going to love him, too."
As if on cue, there's a light knock on the rainbow-painted door. Your stomach flips as you walk over to open it.
Standing there, with his ever-disheveled hair and a stack of children's books in his arms, is Spencer.
He's wearing one of his signature mismatched outfits that always sort of remind you of something an old man would wear—a brown cardigan over a cream colored shirt—and the way his eyes light up when he sees you makes your cheeks flush a little.
"Hi," he says softly, like you're the only two people in the room.
"Hi," you whisper back, before stepping aside to let him in.
The kids immediately erupt into whispers and giggles. Spencer shifts awkwardly under their gaze, but he smiles warmly as I introduce him.
"Everyone, this is Doctor Reid. He's a very smart friend of mine who knows a lot about books, so I thought he'd be the perfect person to read to us today!"
Spencer waves shyly. "Hi, everyone. You can call me Spencer if you want."
Lily raises her hand without hesitation. "Are you Miss Y/N's boyfriend? Are you married? Do you have any babies?"
Spencer's eyes widen, and you feel your face go hot—really, this is something you should have anticipated.
"Lily!" you laugh nervously, twiddling your thumbs. "That's not a question for storytime."
She shrugs, unapologetic. Spencer, bless him, just clears his throat as adjusts his grip on the books.
"I bought a few options," he says, holding them up like they're treasure. "We have The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Where the Wild Things Are, and The Day the Crayons Quit. Any favorites."
The room fills with an enthusiastic chorus of opinions, but Spencer handles it like a pro, tallying votes on the whiteboard until we have a winner: Where the Wild Things Are.
He settles into the big reading chair at the front of the room, his long legs awkwardly folded up beneath him, and adjusts his glasses on the bridge of his nose.
The kids gather on the carpet, leaning forward with rapt attention as he begins.
Spencer's voice is soft, each word carrying a rhythm that draws the kids—and you, despite the fact that you've already read this book countless times—into the story, though that might just be because you enjoy listening to his voice so much.
By the time he closes the book and sets it aside, the room erupts into cheers. "That was so cool!" Jacob shouts, jumping to his feet.
"Can you read another one?" Lily pleads, clasping her hands together and mustering up the best puppy eyes she can—she doesn't have to try very hard.
Five year olds. So easy to please.
Spencer glances at you, and you nod. "One more," you say. "Then it's lunchtime."
This time, he picks The Day the Crayons Quit, and the kids laugh hysterically at the sassy letters from the crayons.
Spencer even gets a short round of applause when he finished reading and closes the picture book, his cheeks pink as he smiles and thanks them.
"Okay, everyone," you announce, clapping your hands together. "Time to wash up for lunch!"
The kids scramble to line up at the sink, still chatting quietly with one another—partly about the stories, but mostly about how awesome Spencer is.
He stands by the reading chair, watching them with a mix of amusement and awe.
"You're a hit," you tease, stepping beside him.
"I think they like me more than you," he replies, a playful smile tugging at his lips.
"Don't get cocky," you say, nudging him gently.
As the kids settle at their tables with their lunches, you lead Spencer to your desk in the corner, where you've set up a couple of chairs. "So you're staying, right?" you ask, trying to sound casual.
"If you'll have me," he says, pulling out the chair across from yours.
Your desk is decorated with little figurines and gadgets, ranging from tiny animal toys blue-tacked down to the lid of a container, to a photo frame filled with pressed flowers, to a small collected of little painted rocks. It reminds Spencer a lot of Garcia's office. Colorful.
You hand him the sandwich you made for him earlier, and his eyebrows lift in surprise. "You didn't have to do that."
"I know," you say, ducking your head. "But I wanted to."
You eat quietly for a moment, the sound of the kids' laughter and chatter enough to fill the space around the both of you.
Spencer watches them with a small smile, and you can't help but admire the way he fits so seamlessly into your little world. Most people would get overwhelmed, being in a room with so many little children—and it just so happens that your boyfriend isn't one of those people.
How did you get so lucky?
"They're great," he says after a while.
"They are," you agree. "A handful, but great all the same."
He looks at you then, his gaze soft and searching. "I can see why you love this so much. And I can see why they love you so much."
Your breath catches, but before you can respond with something sappy that'll more than likely make you cry, Jacob bounds over to your desk.
"Miss Y/N, can Mister Spencer come back tomorrow?"
Spencer chuckles, glancing at me like he's looking for permission.
"We'll see," you say, ruffling Jacob's hair. "If he's not too busy saving the world, maybe he can visit again."
"Promise?" Jacob asks, directing the question at Spencer.
Spencer holds up his pinky, and Jacob eagerly hooks his own tiny pinky finger around it. "Promise," Spencer says.
As Jacob runs back to his table, Spencer leans toward you, his voice low and almost a little uncertain.
"When can we have one of our own?"
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gabiecv · 2 days ago
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𝖠𝖲𝖳𝖱𝖮 𝖮𝖡𝖲𝖤𝖱𝖵𝖠𝖳𝖨𝖮𝖭𝖲 #OO2. ݁𖥔˖
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this one are observations based on people I know, after analyzing their birth chart.
again, if want to share your opinion on those, i would love read them!
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leo rising really have hair that STANDS OUT. usually wavy, voluminous, shiny, just beautiful. the wish to dye your hair red always appears at some point, and I recommend it, it looks wonderful.
mercury – uranus aspects can make someone have a unique voice.
aquarius rising are usually part of some subculture.
venus in virgo and your need to please your partner in every way. always asking if you're feeling well, because you don't have a smile on your face.
moon in 5th house and their connection with children :'). even if you don't like it, children admire you, you'll just catch them looking at you like that 🥹.
people with gemini rising have frog beauty. also, I love the aura of this ascendant, you are cute, youthful, there is a receptive energy coming from you, this ascendant's smile is beautiful too.
as a venus in scorpio (stellium in scorpio to be more specific), i would definitely say that Patrick in 10 things i hate about you is my ideal type.
libra moon really don't like arguments, they try to stay calm and not take sides. but if you offend us, it's over, the rage will come 🤓.
I realized that we generally get along very well with ppl that have their sign in our 3rd house. my bestie has my sun in her 3rd house, and we are soulmates. also, my friend and his bestie also have that, and other couple of friends share the same synastry. this is because the 3rd house is the house of communication and everyday relationships, it's as if you and that person spoke the same language, exchanging ideas in a healthy way. furthermore, we can consider the person with whom we have this synastry, as a brother/sister.
I noticed that most of my friends are virgo, or virgo is prominent in their birth chart. they are clever people who I can count on whenever I need, they are organized, or at least give off that vibe lol and are very good company. i love u virgos 🤍.
gemini and aries in an chart, makes someone fiery, a leader, but at the same time, someone very humble, nice to talk to lmao. it's a very likeable combination.
scorpio rising really have that penetrating gaze. usually, scorpios are really easy to identificate.
that's not an observation from someone I know, but I noticed it. Michael Jackson had a stellium in the 6th house, and that makes so much sense. his life was about making physical efforts, dancing, performing in general, and he tried to be excellent in everything he did.
i met a aries mars boy and whoop. he was AGRESSIVE, got in a lot of fights (always winning). i don't talk with him in like 2 years, but i found him on instagram and now he is a bodybuilder.
saggitarius rising and their ability to lighten up the room they are in, i love.
ok, hear me out. 5th house is connected to hobbies that give us pleasures (includes films, music, books, etc.) and also to crushes. I've been noticing that the celebrities I admire have the same sign as my 5th house:
MJ (pisces Moon and rising)
Heath Ledger (pisces stellium)
Andrew Garfield (pisces Rising)
Rihanna (pisces sun)
Ryan Gosling (pisces Rising)
taurus rising are so soft, down to earth, charming people. ppl with that rising are so attractive 😿.
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i made this in a RUSH, and i'm falling asleep, not the best one srry 🙏🏻
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holybibly · 20 hours ago
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Unholy thoughts of the day, my divine bunnies: Dark priest San, fucks you in the confessional. Warnings: hierophilia, sex in church
The majestic, mournful sounds of the antique organ rose to the high Gothic vaults of the church, mingled with soft, silken moans and the barely audible, panting words of haphazardly recited prayers that settled on San's heated, moist, sun-kissed skin, like stained glass chips scattered on the faded velour spilt by the dark maroon sea between the rows of narrow, lacquered pews.
Unlike your airy sighs and whimpers, muffled by the rhythmic beating of San's pulse beneath your lips, Pastor Choi himself could rival the thunderous volume of church chants and the cacophonous sounds of bells echoing through the hallowed, frescoed walls of the church.
San didn't seem to have any remorse at all, as he fucked you deeply and sensually in the dark, wooden, cramped confessional while Pastor Jeong's angelic voice echoed the sacred lines of the Holy Scriptures.
San didn't want to hide how good it made him feel when he pounded his thick cock into the moist, tantalising warmth of your beautiful, tight pussy; on the contrary, he wanted his moans of pleasure to reach heavenly heights. Hell, he wouldn't mind the whole congregation hearing your cunt whip for him every time the massive girth of his dick slides between your lusciously open labia, which generously coating his velvety hot length with your sweet goo as the edges of your tiny hole stretch to accommodate him.
"Did I ask you to stop, divine? I want to hear all your sins, angel." San purrs sultrily in your ear. The hot ghost of his command sends shivers of excitement down your spine. His fingers dig roughly into your juicy, plush thigh flesh as he pushes you harder against the confessional's roughened wood back wall. "C'mon, tell me everything. Repent, divine one, and I will grant you salvation."
Spurred on by the passionate kisses of San's bitten, devilishly curved lips, which tasted of the sweet, sinful bitterness of wine and vintage white tea that had bloomed like a translucent ghostly flower at the bottom of a small porcelain cup, you tighten your grip on his broad, muscular shoulders and whimper softly.
"Forgive me, Holy Father, for I have been a sinner..." You begin, rolling your eyes in pleasure and sobbing softly as San's swollen, dripping with pre-cum cockhead kisses your cervix. "My thoughts weren't pure..." Your words are accompanied by the wet, squelching sound of skin slapping against skin. His heavy, tight balls slap against the soft skin of your thick buttocks with each of his powerful, deep thrusts.
The pink mother of pearl of your rosary beads slips from your sweaty palms and falls to the floor and splinters into hundreds of pieces as San's thick cock continues to slide insistently between the trembling walls of your tight cunt.
"Is that all, my angel? I think there's more." San's voice is nothing more than a solid darkness wrapped in velvet. "You know good girls shouldn't lie."
"I... I... I have done some bad things." You blurt out immediately, as if San will be disappointed in you and stop fucking you if you don't act like his good girl.
"Like what, angel? Fucked a priest in church? Seduced an older man just so you could ride your slutty little cunt on his cock until it was completely filled with hot, thick cum? Tell me, are these all bad things, Divine? Didn't you enjoy it all?" You'd never really thought about it, but hearing San say it out loud made you feel incredibly ashamed, but you still didn't do anything to stop it; instead, you arched your hips invitingly towards him, trying to get even deeper on his cock.
You wanted him so deep inside you that you could see his amazingly thick cock bulging against your belly.
"Yes, Father, I have done all these things... And I love it so much... I want more..." You practically squealed as you felt the head of his cock hit your sweet spot. The sudden jolt of pleasure almost made you faint.
"You're such a bad girl, Angel." San lustfully whispers into your neck. "But, you know, that's just the way I like it." You can't see his dirty grin, but you can feel it on your skin. "We'll come back to your sins later; we may even have to ask Yunho to help you atone for them, but that will be later; for now I want you to milk my cock dry. We need to make sure your cunt is full and warm from all my cum, divine".
You whine and nod your head stupidly in response to his words. Yes, yes, you want to atone for your sins under the gentle guidance of Father Jeong Yunho and, of course, San, but right now he is absolutely right: you have to milk his cock dry. You can't let him down.
You were so close to orgasm, the hot, tight knot of lust in your lower abdomen tightening with each thrust of Pastor Choi's juicy, thick thighs.
The velvety, thick length of his dick rubs insistently against the quivering walls of your cunt, causing more and more of your mucus to spill out of your hole, hinting at an impending stormy orgasm, and San cunningly presses the rough pads of his fingers against your sensitive, swollen clit as he begins to rub your sensitive bottom sharply and aggressively, pushing you faster to the edge of pleasure. Your toes are squeezed in your shoes by his actions, and your thighs begin to tremble weakly.
"S-san, I'm so... so close. Please, Holy Father..." You gasp.
Your orgasm rushes through you like a tsunami, coating your thighs and the velvet floor beneath your feet with copious amounts of goo. You cum so hard it's almost embarrassing, your goo spurting out of your hole like a fountain, completely soaking San's clothes and running down the inside of your thighs.
Your cunt clenches tighter around San's massive length, milking him until his cock begins to soften inside you. Hot cum floods the narrow channel of your pussy, painting your fluttering walls with viscous milky fluid.
What could be more righteous? What could be more holy? Than something so breathtaking and heavenly. You're almost on cloud nine as your belly continues to swell from the sperm pumping into you.
You whimper softly, the remnants of your orgasm tingling your skin like little bolts of electricity.
"You're such a good girl, Divine." San coos sweetly, leaving a soft kiss on your forehead. "Keep me inside, baby. Keep me inside. Yes, like that. My good girl, my sweet angel."
"Yes, Holy Father." That's all you can manage, burying your face deeper in San's neck, feeling his massive jewelled cross digging between your tits. "Whatever you say."
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