#I have so many things written and I’m trying to post some stuff and stop gatekeeping my work

[astracora]

A Mandated Holiday Break - Chapter 9

Characters: Sylus x gn!mc (poly lads)

Warnings: Suggestive, Sylus has no self control

Word Count: 1630

Written: 23rd December 2024

Notes: Post-relationship Sylus/MC-centric but poly LADs, with my personal pov of the game and lil headcanons littered in.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Masterlist

When asked what you wanted to do with your time off, you’d listed a few things. Things you never got time to do anymore for yourself. One of which was sitting and playing one of the many games you’d collected but never started.

Sylus had nodded, grabbing whatever you needed, helping set things up, and while it had not been his forte or interest, he wanted to sit and watch at least.

You’d apologised, guilty to have time off and wanting to spend it this way. Like there was any reason for you to feel bad for wanting to use rare time to decompress.

“We’re together, that’s enough.” He’d assured you.

“I can’t believe you’re scared, hunter.”

“I’m not scar- Shit. Scared.”

“You fight actual monsters.”

“I’m not scare- Stop crawling out of vents!”

“I’ve seen you kick a knave in the face!”

“Kieran, so help me, if you don’t shut up while I’m trying to focus.”

Sometimes, Sylus thinks, you take care of the twins, and other times, you act like their sibling. Matching their energy, and waiting to fight back when they tease you.

He’s a little worried you’re going to throw your controller across the room.

Luke is stuffing popcorn into his mouth, watching you play some horror game with monsters with too many limbs. While Kieran keeps yelling ‘Behind you!’ in what Sylus is guessing, by your reaction, an unhelpful manner.

He has picked up a book to read, some wine to drink, and a charcuterie board, that he keeps feeding you slices of while you’re focusing. The book is one you’ve read many times, a copy of I Am Legend, its dog-eared. When you’d talked about it, he’d intended to go out and buy it for himself, but you’d shoved your copy into his hands eagerly. Asking him to let you know what he thinks when he’s done.

It’s not the first book he’s borrowed, sometimes he leaves a note in it when he returns it with thoughts, other times you sit down to talk about it. Sylus enjoys cracking open your world as much as he can, and each little story that you’ve brought into your heart, is another fragment or puzzle piece that helps him understand you more and more.

The pink blanket is resting over him and you, as your legs are sprawled out over his lap. His one hand is on your bare thigh, kneading absently while he turns pages, and fights the urge to laugh at yours and Kieran’s bickering.

So every time you flinch, he feels it, a little kick in your leg as you jump. He knows how jumpy you can be, even if you’re not scared. Has snuck up behind you plenty of times while you’re busy, or focused.

“Sylus, I’m going to put a little bell on you, if you don’t learn to walk heavier.”

“Will it come with a cute collar?”

“Is pink alright?”

“Why don’t you have a gun?”

“I do have a gun, it’s just not as good as the plasma cutter.” You stuff some cheese into your mouth, that Sylus offers you, if you were closer he’d feed it to you himself. He’ll have to settle for watching you lick chutney off your finger.

“Use the flamethrower.”

“With what ammo?”

“How are you so bad at this!”

“Kieran if you want to play so bad-”

He’s heard you and the doctor chat when you play games together, but the two of you have a team going, where if you start to get frustrated, he’ll pick up the slack. Kieran is just having fun picking at your play-style. Luke on the other hand, offers to take the controller to help you deal with your current struggle. You hand it over, so you can stop cursing at the… frankly Sylus doesn’t know what he’s looking at.

You catch his look and groan, “Leviathan.” Before cheering Luke on as he begins his struggle.

A shrug is all Sylus can offer, because nothing about this makes sense to him, but he’s glad you’re relaxing. Less tense, less anxious, there’s lighter circles under your eyes. You’ve worn more clothes than just your hunter uniform, and eaten more in these few days, than he thinks you have in two weeks.

So he feels successful, and self satisfied at his role in assisting with your break.

“Yes, there! There!”

He blinks, looks over and feels you lean forward suddenly, shaking Luke’s shoulders. For a second, Sylus thinks you’re going to roll off onto the floor, grabbing at you to keep you stable. A little too much force, with a grip that makes him think you might gain a bruise, and you wince a bit. Pulling back onto the sofa to look at him, confused.

Soothing the place he grabbed with his thumb, guilt simmering. He’s strong, he knows that, and he is normally very careful. He wants to be gentle with you, unless there’s ever a cause for you to ask otherwise, but hurting you is something he’d rather die than do. “Sorry kitten. You looked like you were going to get your face acquainted with the floor.”

Your laugh soothes the worry in him, and you squeeze his hand over your leg for a moment, before going back to your game. Taking the controller off Luke now that the hurdle has been cleared.

Kieran is patting his brother on the shoulder, singing his praises, and you relax again, ready to pick up your progress.

The book isn’t holding his focus as much as he’d like, not because he doesn’t enjoy it, though he wants to ask what your obsession seems to be with vampires, but because your twitching against his hand is distracting. Sylus is a controlled man, or he used to be. So why is it, everything you do distracts him?

He knows the answer, it’s you, of course you distract him.

He sits in business meetings and thinks about you.

He checks his phone when he shouldn’t at auctions.

He daydreams when he should be focusing on the road.

He has stayed up far past when he needs to sleep, hoping you’ll respond to a message he has sent.

He has phoned you before bed, simply to hear your voice because the idea refuses to release him until sated.

You are a great source of distraction, with your precious heart (his heart), and noisy soul (his soul).

Still, he finds the childish part of him, that you unearth without great effort, rears its head in competition.

As you focus on enemies, shining a tiny flashlight in the pitch black, and listening for the noise that signals danger. Sylus moves his hand further up your thigh, to squeeze.

This time, when you jump, he knows its not the monsters.

Your eyes dart to his, wondering if perhaps he has a reason, but he is looking at his, your, book again. Focusing. Not at all looking back at you from behind the pages. So you return to what you were doing, and continue.

He waits, next, for something to jump out at you, before his hand edges up further to knead firmly. This time, your character on the screen gets jumped on as you almost drop the controller.

Hand darting under the blanket to grab his in your grip, but because of that, your character is speared through by a monster.

“Oh come on, those are the easy ones!” Kieran snorts.

You swallow, staring at Sylus, eyes narrowing in challenge and release his hand. Determined, and ready.

He takes that as a point. He leaves you be for a little while, just watching the scrunching of your nose as you shoot and stab your way through enemies, picking up items and running into every corner of the map you can find.

It’s when you’ve finally relaxed, assuming he’s done, that he moves his hand again. It’s just the slightest brush against where you’re most sensitive, but your hips jump and you gasp. Masked by another creature leaping out at you, as shock. But you drop the controller off the sofa, into Luke’s lap, and trap Sylus’ hand between your legs to keep him still.

He doesn’t hide his smirk quick enough with his book this time, you release him enough to give him a swift kick under the blanket, pulling your legs up and away.

This earns a pout, he’s amused that he can distract you, he’s upset that he isn’t still touching you. So he grabs your ankle, and pulls you further down the sofa, so you’re resting more in his lap than out of it, canines gleaming at you. “This more comfortable, kitten, your arms must be going numb.”

The heat coming off you makes him chuckle, enthused by your embarrassment, and when the twins try to hand the controller back, you instead push it back towards them. Standing up and nodding at them, “Keep playing if you want.” You grab Sylus’ hand, and tug, not holding it but leave the room.

“See ya boss.”

“Have fuuun.”

Their grins are matching, and he can’t tell if he finds their insubordination amusing, or discomforting. At this point, it’s just par the course.

Sylus doesn’t think too hard about it, he leaves his book, marked on the page he got to, and dissipate into mist after you.

Reappearing right in front of you to lift you up, legs wrapping around his waist, and arms around his neck. You bite his nose and then his neck, but there’s no venom in it. He becomes far too busy squeezing your legs and kissing, open mouthed up your neck, to really care either way.

He did last a couple of hours watching you play your game after all. It's a record.

[demon-sneeze]

🎉it’s my birthday!

So I wanna finally post some of the things I promised. Mystic Messenger fanart and Crowley fic!!

I wanna post my Crowley fic in three chapters possibly. Theres stuff with the s8 finale church, then s9 dungeon bonding, then a little time skip and self indulgent s12 smut for the last part.

So! Here is my blurb to hopefully get someone interested! This is basically the first chapter that I’ll publish on AO3 later after some polish and maybe another hundred words at the end to wrap up the scene better.

Please someone enjoy!!

———

- Crowley (SPN) X Reader

- 1k words

- Gender neutral reader

- hurt/comfort but basically just the comfort

- POV switch

Description: Reader cleans the blood off Crowley’s face in the church between Sam doing the trial.

———

Sam stepped out of the church for air. I waited a few beats before sighing and looking back to the bloody half-demon confined to the chair in the center of the room.

His eyes had also followed Sam out and remained on the closed doors.

He looked resigned, anxious, thoughtful, but overwhelmingly tired. I guess gaining your humanity, or most of it, after so long would feel like the ultimate emotional bombshell. Every bad thing you’ve ever done being recontexualized through a sense of guilt that was absent and nonexistent up until then. 300 years of bad experiences needing to suddenly be processed. All this while being in grave danger, the threat of death very near and assured.

Though maybe that part feels like a comfort. Does it feel like a comfort to someone who knows what happens to a human after death? Would he still die like a demon?

Not that I’d let that happen. I know they wanna close the gates or whatever but killing him afterwards is unnecessary. If I’ve learned anything from Frankenstein it’s that once you make a man, you gotta take responsibility for him. We aren’t in the people-killing business when we can help it. If Sam wants to ruin this guy’s life as he knows it, he can’t just discard him when he’s done.

A fresh start is a fresh start. I can’t blame a demon for being a demon and I can’t blame a human for what they did when they were soulless. Sam of all people should know that.

His eyes drifted to me with a blink. No smart ass remarks this time.

He looked crushed. Face still tear stained and covered in blood. The needle marks in his neck forming an angry patch of red dots.

I always had a soft spot for him a mile wide.

I broke eye contact to look at the things we brought. There were all of the necessities for what we were trying to accomplish of course, but there was also a first aid kit brought in from the car. I grabbed my own water bottle and some sterile wipes from the first aid.

He watched me. I could feel his eyes, though they weren’t as piercing as before. He was sort of spacey, which was completely different from his usual aura of caution and intensity. Resigned to whatever fate was in store and losing his will to resist it.

It was unnerving on some level due to his sudden change in character but moreso because, I’ll admit, I was genuinely concerned for him.

I took the clean cloth and my water bottle with me as I walked closer to him. Stepping over the markings on the ground carefully as not to disturb them. When I looked back up at his face he just looked confused.

I poured some water onto the cloth before setting the bottle on the ground and getting close enough to touch him.

“Don’t bite me.” Is all I say before starting to gently wipe the blood from a tiny cut near his temple.

“I won’t.” Was all he said back. No quips, no threats.

---

They started at his temple. Far more gentle than was necessary.

He had been looking at them the whole time, but at the feeling of the cloth he closed his eyes. The human blood in his veins had his nerve endings acting sensitive. He almost flinched at a particularly painful swipe.

They had apparently noticed anyway. Mumbling, “Sorry.”

He wanted to cry again. Not at the pain of course, but at the kindness he felt like he didn’t deserve and had not really experienced… ever? He was sure that in 300 years he had been shown kindness at some points but this… was different. He had hurt them. He had hurt their friends. But still they got close enough to his face to feel their breath while they gently wiped off the blood and dirt that had accumulated. To say sorry at the slightest cause of pain?

And why? For pity, or just some practical reason? Was it kindness?

The human blood made him more sensitive physically and emotionally in this moment than he had felt even as a human the first time around.

Their face, at this distance, looked worried of course. But because of the worry he noticed the shape of their eyes. He noticed their eyelashes and eye color and he wondered what they would look like in direct sunlight, what they would look like unbothered by flickering candlelight. Instead of here, looking exhausted in the dim greenish-blue light of the abandoned shack that passed for a church.

They made eye contact for a second but then looked back and held it when they realized he was looking at them.

They didn’t say anything. Just blinked. Inviting his questions.

“Why?”

“Why not? I need something to do, and I like you.” They said simply. They refreshed the water on the cloth and started at a different point, moving farther behind him. There was less to do back there and they both knew it but it was the easiest way to avoid making conversation or eye contact.

That seemed like a poor excuse for so many reasons.

He felt them working the cloth gently against the side of his head, moving to the back of his neck. He had to stop himself from vocalizing when their nails lightly scratched at his hairline.

Damn that felt good. It all felt so good. Even when they got to the most sensitive place, the needle marks, they were so gentle he didn’t feel worried, just leaned his head slightly to give them better access. It felt relaxing, to pretend to be cared for.

Sam was rough and didn’t care for his comfort in the least. When they touched him though, they were almost laughably attentive. He felt more like a child getting a cut cleaned by a mother (not that he would know) than a demon being… what, taken pity on by a hunter with a bleeding heart?

He felt a horrible ache in his chest for a moment when he realized it was over but then remembered himself.

He was almost looking forward to Sam putting him out of his misery by this point.

[totheblood]

begging for rain. (two)

󠁐# TWO; the more you break

PAIRING: ex!ellie williams x nextdoorneighbor!reader

SUMMARY: moving to a new town can be tough, especially as you are trying to hold everything in your life together. after you meet ellie, your life completely changes, but for the better? well that's still up in the air

WARNINGS: mentions of death, grief, related subjects; cursing, mentions of drinking/drugs, mentions of s*x,

WORD COUNT: 3.1k

A/N :new chapter yay!! okay so like i'm setting a lot of stuff up and i know that so annoying and frustrating but i really need to paint a picture of dynamics so i hope u enjoy. AI AUDIOS AT THE END ! please please please like and reblog/reply/send asks, comments, the whole nine yards… it is so appreciated!

READ CHAPTER ONE HERE!!

TWO YEARS AGO

The first day of school went okay.

Inside the hallways, students pushed past each other, sweaty bodies mixing and mingling into a tangled mess. Blue lockers were lined up against the walls, many of them open as students shoved heavy textbooks inside them from their backpacks. 

Ellie pushed past them like she was used to it, a ratty leather backpack hanging off her shoulder. Occasionally, she would look behind her to see if you were still following her. You always were. 

You didn’t quite know where you were going. You knew your locker number was tucked deep inside your bag and whenever Ellie stopped at her locker was when you were going to pull it out and ask her to show you where it is. However, you were now feeling like you were slightly stalking Ellie and there was some truth to her words. When Ellie stopped at her locker, Locker 2094, she looked at you for only a moment before she was undoing the built-in lock. 

“You know you can’t follow me all day,” she said dryly, lock clicking open and her locker door almost hitting you in the face. You decided it was time for you to get your locker number, pulling your bag to the front and unzipping the front pocket where your locker number and lock combination was written on a crumpled-up pink post-it note. 

“I’m not following you, Ellie,” You rolled your eyes, unraveling the post-it note, “I was just waiting for a good time to find this.”

“And what is that?” She gave you a weird look and shoved a textbook in her locker, then another. 

“My locker number,” You said simply, looking at the number and chuckling to yourself.

“What’s so funny?” She wasn’t looking at you anymore, just fishing around in her bag for anything she may have had to put in her locker. 

“This is my locker,” You patted the one right next to Ellie’s, right where you were standing to the left of her, “Locker 2093.”

Ellie chuckled dryly again, closing her locker and leaning up against it as she watched you struggle to put your lock combination in, “You’ve taken this stalker thing too far.”

With a click, it popped open, empty and barren. You opened your bag and shoved the one textbook you had inside your locker, a smile planted on your face, “Yes, I’ve just been so obsessed with you since I saw you for the first time yesterday that I called the school district and got my locker to be next to yours.”

“Aha! So you admit it!” Ellie laughed, picking at her fingernails as she looked around the hallways, looking for familiar faces. A group of them walked up, all laughing and talking with each other as they circled Ellie around your locker. 

“Hey, El,” a girl said, causing you to look up at her. She was pretty, too pretty. She had her black hair tied up in a ponytail, her skin was olive and slightly tanned, and she had some sun spots scattered across her face, pooling in a center near her nose. Next to her was a slightly taller and much paler girl with black hair cut right above her shoulder, the jagged and uneven edges indicating she cut it herself. Behind them, a much taller guy, with longer black hair and a kind face stood. He smiled at you, and you offered him a kind smile back. Be nice, you cursed, you’re here to make friends, you reminded yourself.

“Hey Dina,” Ellie smirked, leaning back against her locker and looking at the group, “I see your hair is already growing back, Cat,” Ellie reached forward to play with the edges of Cat’s hair before she swatted Ellie’s hands away from her and scoffed.

“You fucked up my hair and you know that,” Her tone of voice was playful at most, evidenced by the wide grin on her face. She was insanely pretty even with her hair all fucked up. You didn’t know why but it made your stomach churn. “Are you going to introduce us to your new friend, Ellie?”

Your eyes widened and darted to Ellie and then to the group, hoping embarrassment wasn’t written all over your face. 

“This is Y/n,” Ellie smiled at you, jumping slightly when you slammed your locker shut, “She’s my new neighbor and stalker.”

“Hey!” You rolled your eyes, a smile still on your face, “I am her neighbor, but I’m not a stalker.”

“Ellie’s just too full of herself. Ignore her,” The girl in the ponytail stepped a little closer and extended a hand, “I’m Dina.”

You shook her hand, mumbling a ‘nice to meet you’ before shifting awkwardly and retracting your hand. The guy in the back raised his hand slightly and smiled at you, “I’m Jesse.” 

“Nice to meet you, Jesse,” you then looked at the last girl waiting for her to introduce herself. When she didn’t speak, you took it upon yourself to ask, “And sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”

“It’s Cat,” she responded flatly. Her tone was a little icy, but you weren’t sure if you were just feeling insecure or she was actually trying to snub you. 

“Well, it’s nice to meet you,” a nervous breathy laugh fell from your lips and you tightened your grip on your backpack strings, “It sucks moving senior year so I’m glad to make some new friends.”

“Why did you move senior year?” Cat spoke up finally, “You’re not like a psycho bitch that got kicked out of her last school?” 

“Cat!”

“C’mon, Cat!” Dina and Ellie chimed in at the same time in your defense. You were admittedly thrown off by the comment but, yet again, you made an excuse for her. Maybe she was just curious. Or maybe she wanted to protect herself and her friends. 

“What? I want to know,” she defended herself. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” you laughed, giving her a smile. Be nice, your head rang once again. “It’s a valid question. But, no, uh, my dad died and we couldn’t afford to live where we were living anymore.”

Her smug smile fell, and instead, it was laced with empathy or more importantly pity. You hated it. Your newfound ability to ruin the moment. A moment that was supposed to be sweet. A fresh start. Already, you had clouded the new with your past.

“I- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to force you to say that or anything,” Cat apologized and it sounded genuine. It felt genuine. 

“It’s totally okay. I’m fine, I’m mostly over it anyways,” That was a bold lie. You were nowhere close to over it but you couldn’t help but want them to like you. To think you were totally normal and carrying no baggage. 

“No, it’s not okay,” Ellie spoke up again, shooting a glance to Cat, that made her scoff and roll her eyes. 

“I said I was sorry,” Cat shrugged, “What more do you want from me?” 

“Maybe don’t call people ‘psycho bitches’ when you first meet them,” Ellie stood up straighter, crossing her arms over her chest and Cat glanced at you again, colder this time. 

“You’re unbelievable, Ellie,” She was looking at Ellie again, shooting daggers at her. You were unsure what was going on so you glanced at Dina and Jesse for help. All Dina did was slightly shake her head, a subtle way of telling you to not get involved. 

“I’m unbelievable?”

“Yes! You’re unbelievable! Scolding me in front of people like I’m your fucking child or something,” Cat was getting irritated and it showed itself in her face. She had one of those faces that couldn’t hide what she was feeling.

“Then don’t act like a child,” Ellie said simply, causing Cat to let out a huff and turn around, push past Jesse, and leave the group. Ellie closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the locker, letting out a heavy sigh, “I should go after her. Can you guys help her to her first class?”

Dina nodded quickly before shooing Ellie off with her hand, “Go, go! It’s fine.” Ellie took one look at you and offered a smile that said ‘I’m sorry’. What she actually said was: “Meet me by my car at the end of the day. I’ll take you home.” 

With that Ellie disappeared into the sea of people until she was no longer in sight. 

“What was that?” you asked Dina and Jesse. 

“Trust me,” Dina looked at you, “You don’t want to know.”

-

Your first class was English with Mrs. Porter. She made you stand at the front of the classroom and introduce yourself. Jesse was in this class with you and when you were done giving a brief introduction to yourself he loudly clapped and cheered. The gesture made you smile and eased some of the tension you were feeling. 

A few people followed him, by cheering and offering you a high five as you moved back to your seat. Everyone seemed to be enamored by him. During class, people would send him notes on little Post-it notes, he would open them, laughing as he read them and wrote some messages back to them. It was subtle, but you could tell he opened up a room. 

At lunch you walked into the large cafeteria, looking around for a place to sit. You were sure you looked like a lost dog as you wandered around because a girl with long brunette hair walked up to you with a smile on her face. She was pretty and dressed in a button-up and plaid skirt. It felt too formal for school.

“Hey, you’re new, right?” She asked.

“Uh, yeah.”

“I’m Ingrid,” She looked you up and down, “do you need a place to sit?”

“Y/n!” your name was being called from a familiar voice, causing you to snap your head in that direction to see Ellie standing up and waving her hand in the air, “Come sit with us!”

“Oh, I’m just going to sit with,” You pointed to the table where Ellie was still standing and staring intently at you, “my friends.”

Ingrid’s smile fell as she shot a glance toward the table. You were obviously missing something. You turned to move towards the table before the girl gripped your arm firmly. 

“Wait, I didn’t catch your name,” That smile was back. 

“Y/n,” you told her.

“Y/n,” she repeated, “Pretty name.”

“Thanks,” you scratched the back of your neck, “Well, I’ll see you around.” You quickly rushed to the table, confused about the interaction once again. This place was fucking weird.

You sat down next to Ellie who was laughing at something Cat said. Cat’s eyes sparkled when she looked at Ellie. Brown and glossy as she laughed with Ellie, shaking her head. Her cheeks were slightly pink and she reached over to grab an apple slice out of Ellie’s lunchbox. When Ellie looked back at Cat her eyes didn’t sparkle in the same way that Cat’s did. They were verging on dull, but the corner of Ellie’s eyes still had wrinkles as she smiled. 

“Hey!” She grabbed the apple from Cat’s hand, “Get your own apples.” 

“Yours just taste better,” she giggled, smiling at you as you sat down, “Hey, how was your first day?”

She was being much nicer and her energy was much calmer. It was obvious she and Ellie had made up in the time from this morning to now, but you also had to wonder if Ellie told her to be nicer to you. 

“It’s going well,” You shrugged, pulling out the brown bag your mom had packed for you, “I’m still getting used to everything.” 

“You’ll get the hang of it,” Ellie commented, taking another bite of her apple, “Hey, what did Ingrid want?”

“Oh,” You looked over to Ingrid’s table where she was chatting and eating with a group of people, “She just asked me if I wanted to sit with her.”

Dina, who was sitting across from you, practically choked on her food as she laughed. Cat was also laughing to herself as she raised her eyebrows, and looked down at her food. Jesse had a small smile on his face as he took another chip from his bag and took a loud bite. The only person who wasn’t laughing was Ellie, who gave a brief glance at Ingrid’s table before looking back at you. 

“Am I missing something?” 

“No, it’s just,” Ellie started, taking a deep breath and wondering how much she wanted to explain, “be careful with her. She’s…”

“Friendly,” Dina finished Ellie’s sentence, a smirk on her face. Obviously, friendly didn’t mean friendly but you didn’t know what that meant. 

“Do you like girls?” Cat asked bluntly. 

“Cat,” Ellie warned again, making Cat drop what she was eating and roll her eyes. 

“We need to know if we want to warn her,” She stated simply. 

“Like romantically?” You asked, making everyone giggle again. You felt like you were missing a joke. 

“Yeah, romantically,” Cat answered. 

“Oh, yeah,” You looked around to see everyone’s reactions. You ignored the way Ellie’s cheeks tinged pink, “is that a… problem?”

“No,” Cat said flatly, her tone was cold again, “we all like girls.”

“Oh,” you said, taking out your sandwich from the ziplock bag and taking a bite. 

“Let’s just say that Ingrid has been friendly with all of us,” Dina said, throwing a piece of popcorn at Jesse, “including Jesse.”

“At this point, initiation into this group should require hooking up with Ingrid,” Cat laughed.

“No,” Ellie said almost too fast, causing Cat to give her a confused look, “I can’t deal with another person getting convinced that Ingrid wants to be in a relationship with them. Plus, I can see into her room from mine. What if I look over and see Ingrid’s tits.”

“Nothing you haven’t seen before,” Cat said bitterly. There was that tension again.

“Well, I don’t really think I want to be involved with anyone anyways,” you mentioned, taking another bite. 

“Why not?” Ellie questioned, eyes boring a hole into the side of your face. 

“It’s just too complicated,” You shrugged, taking a sip of your water, “I’m new and it’s hard enough making friends, I don’t need anything messing that up.”

Ellie swallowed hard, and took another bite of her apple, just nodding at what you said like she understood. 

“Well, now you have friends,” Dina spoke up, dissipating some of the tension. You took another bite, smiling with the food tucked into your cheeks. 

-

As the day ended you went back to your locker to collect your stuff, expecting Ellie to be at hers, but she wasn’t there. You paid no mind to it as you opened your locker. However, inside sat a note, a yellow Post-It note that looked like it had been crumpled up a few times. On it, it read: “Couldn’t stop looking at you all day. Hope this isn’t weird, you’re just so beautiful. I hope I can get the courage to say it to your face. - your secret admirer”

Normally, this would have made you feel good about yourself. A random stranger thinks you are beautiful? Yea, that would boost anyone’s ego. Except this stranger knew your locker number and had admitted to watching you all day. A weird pit formed in the bottom of your stomach as you stuffed the note in your bag, knowing you would ruminate on it sometime later. Quickly, you packed up your stuff and made your way to the parking lot.

There, Ellie was leaning against her car, phone in hand. She was so focused on what she was typing that she didn’t even notice you walking up to her. 

“Hey, ready to go?” You spoke, causing her to look up and smile at you. 

“Yeah,” She shrugged, before pausing a moment, green eyes scanning your face, “what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

You let out a nervous laugh as you shook your head.

“What? I’m fine.”

“You look weird.”

“Thank you?”

“Not like that,” she stopped you, putting her hands up, ”You just look upset but I don’t know you that well so I could be wrong.”

“You are wrong,” you grumbled, heading to the passenger side and hopping in the car. Ellie just scoffed, rolled her eyes, and got in the driver's seat. 

“Well fuck me for caring then,” she mumbled to herself, starting the engine.

“It’s not-” you stopped yourself, taking a deep breath, “It’s just been a long day, I’m sorry if I was rude. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

She paused for a moment as if you had said something wrong, then she looked at you, green eyes scanning your face once more. She looked shocked, surprised almost. It was all so confusing.

“It’s fine, I’m just being an asshole,” She laughed, turning back to the road and putting the car in reverse, “My day was long too.”

“Want to talk about it?” 

“It’s,” She turned down the music so she could speak, “Cat.”

“Are you guys a thing?” You crossed your hands in your lap and absentmindedly played with your fingers.

“It’s complicated,” she sighed, heading out onto the open road, “Kind of, but it’s not really official.”

“Why?”

“I can’t commit.”

“Oh,” you looked over at her and watched her nose scrunch slightly like she was uncomfortable with the conversation, “I could sense the tension today.”

“She’s just…” Ellie made a weird movement with her head, “like that.”

“Why can’t you commit?”

“We’ve had our issues in the past,” Ellie shrugged, “at the end of the day I just can’t trust her and I can’t date someone I don’t trust.”

“You guys just seem so close,” you mentioned eyes drifting to the road again, the trees, and all the storefronts you had yet to explore. 

“We are, and she’s a good friend,” Ellie coughed, “a little protective, but good. But romantically, I don’t really trust her. She swears she only wants me but I don’t know if I believe that.”

“Damn,” You laughed. Ellie looked over at you and laughed too. The air in the car was much lighter now.

“Yeah, I just don’t know how much of it I can do this year,” Ellie’s smile fell, as she approached her house, “but you didn’t ask all of that. I’m sorry I overshared.”

“Shut up, you didn’t overshare,” you laughed, unbuckling as Ellie pulled into her driveway, “and I did ask.”

“Well, thanks for listening, anyways,” Ellie smiled as she looked at her door and then back at you, “do you want to come in and do homework together? Joel’s not gonna be home till late.”

“I’d love that.”

ai audios:

[anon1nn1t]

please give me everything u can fit in a post about Mr snapchat NSFW and SFW I am DESPERATE it is so hard to find genuine hcs about him he's so over looked >;((

also just found ur account and am in love with everything u have written so far mate can't wait to see more from you, take care of yourself today!!

Stop this is so kind. 🥹🫶 And you’re so right about Sapnap being over looked !! But don’t worry, I’ve got your back. :) Just like my George hcs, I wil add more to this over time. * Also, to the person who sent the ask about Dream, I’m working on it !! *

Feel free to request !

SFW:

He’s actually such a sleepyhead.

He’s always hunting you down to ask you to cuddle with him so he can take a nap, falling asleep against your shoulder/knee whenever you’re busy.

Sure, he can sleep without you, but if he has the choice, he will always choose to sleep with you in his presence, since it helps him sleep better.

Secretly has so many pictures of you sleeping.

He’s sooo clingy

Constantly kissing you, hugging you, touching you in every way he possibly can.

But as clingy as he is, he knows when he needs to give you some space.

He has some major jealousy issues.

If any man other than him simply looks at you, he will give him a death stare, squeezing your thigh, wrapping his arm around you, pulling you closer to him.

It’s not that he doesn't trust you; of course he does; he’s just possessive. You’re his and his only, and he wants everybody to know it.

Constant fake fighting between the two of you.

But if he ever accidentally actually hurt you? He would be an apologizing mess, begging for your forgiveness, when in reality, you were holding back laughter from how hard he was trying when in reality you didn’t care as much as he thought you did.

As we know, Sapnap has a few insecurities, so I feel like he would need a bit of reassurance sometimes.

He would just randomly ask you questions that you always answered the same

"What’s your favorite thing about me?"

"How much do you love me on scale from 1-10?"

"Why are you with me?"

Please just remind him how much you love him.

Hate to break it to you, but he’s definitely a little bitch during fights.

And if you ever tried to kiss him or hug him mid-argument? Ohhh man.

If y’all were to ever get in a fight, just leave him alone. Literally, just walk off; it’s for the best.

He gets angered pretty easily, as we know, so basically just don’t piss him off.

He doesn’t mind pda at all. He doesn't even realize it’s something that some people don't like because it feels so normal to him.

He bases his mood off of yours. Not even on purpose; it just comes naturally.

You’re having a bad day? He’s having a bad day. You’re having the best day of your life? He’s having the best day of his life.

He spoils you so much, maybe even too much.

Anything and everything you want, he will get for you. It eventually gets to the point where you have to stop pointing out stuff you want because he buys it every. time.

He loves loves loves when you wear his clothes.

"Is that my hoodie?"

"Yes, when is it not."

"Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"

"It’s just you."

He also loves when you wear dresses/skirts.

He absolutely adores showering with you. Every time you shower together, he’s wishing he could stay in that moment forever and ever.

Late night drives with blasting music ?!?! Instant yes.

Speaking of music, it’s definitely a huge green flag for him if you like his music taste.

He will do everything in his power to protect you and keep you safe.

NSFW:

Do I even need to say he’s dominant ?!

If you ever seriously wanted to try being dominant, he would let you, but it would be followed up right after with him taking over.

I feel like he has a lottt of kinks.

Dirty talk, discipline, humiliation, teasing, overstimulation, daddy kink, orgasm control/denial, etc.

Ass guy 100%

Loves loves loves eating you out.

He loves your thighs so much oh my god 😵‍💫

Continuing off that, he loves to cum on your thighs or inside of you.

Gives you so many markings just to remind you you’re all his.

He’s so rough with you, he just has to give you the sweetest aftercare. :)

I feel like the only times he’d be gentle are early in the morning, late at night, or if one of you needed some comfort.

He totally kisses you the whole time, sloppy kisses, but still kisses.

He would much rather focus on your pleasure than his. You being pleasured brings him pleasure.

His favorite position is either doggy style or reverse cowgirl.

PUBLIC SEX HOLY SHIT …

Every time before he’s about to do something new he will ask you if it’s okay. Ex: Moving from giving you hickeys to eating you out, moving from eating you out to fucking you, etc.

I actually don’t think he’s that experienced…

When you’re not around, he will totally jack off to pictures of you. He has no shame about it.

I feel like he only goes for one or two rounds.

Oh, how he loves to get his hair pulled.

He also loves to be praised so much oh my god.

Overall, he is pretty dominant, but focuses on you more than himself. <3

[chishiyaisasnack]

Dare, part 7

Part 6

Hello again! Long time no see. My writers block is still in full effect. Anyway, here’s a little fun one. It’s not very smutty but that was all I could muster this time. I do have bigger plans for the next chapter, and hopefully it won’t take me 6 months to finish it.

Disclaimer! This is (light) smut. Minors and those of you who don’t like the topic, please stay away.

It’s written and posted on mobile so I apologize for any wierd formatting.

How did you end up in a cleaning closet in the meeting room that all the executives were going to gather in, in approximately three minutes? And how did Chishiya end up in it with you? Those were some of the questions that were buzzing through your mind as of this very moment.

”I did not agree to this,” you scolded him, not sure what you did agree to, to be honest. The tiny room was filled with things such as vacuum cleaners (covered in dust, what an irony), mops, drawers and buckets stacked on top of eachother on said drawers - all lit by a dank, yellow lightbulb hanging from the ceiling. For such a nice hotel, this cleaning and supply closet had been severely neglected.

”You said that you would help me clean, remember?” Chishiya shot back at you, his back turned against you as he rummaged through some cabinet filled with different types of detergents and cleaning products.

”This isn’t cleaning though, is it?” No matter how many taps with your foot on the wooden floor, annoyed sighs you made or ”hurry up” coming from your mouth, Chishiya still wasn’t done when you heard the entrance door to the meeting room open. The air was filled with voices, becoming clearer after each person that entered the room. You were out of time, if you wanted to get out of here you had to go now. One last look - okay, glare - at Chishiya, who had stopped his rummaging and were putting something in the pocket of his hoodie before him turning around to face you, and you were ready to leave all this dust behind you (Chishiya included).

”You are just going through stuff in drawers,” you hissed at him, only making him smirk. ”That is not cleaning.”

In the background, chairs started scratching against the floor as the excecutives started to sit down. They were right outside the door now and you could hear every word they were saying.

”I guess Chishiya won’t grace us with his presence today,” the Hatter exclaimed loudly in the joined room, followed by a sigh that was probably heard across all of Tokyo. ”I guess we’ll start the meeting without him.”

Your heart was beating out of your chest as the stress of getting the hell out of there was pouring over you. They were going to hear you, they were going to think that you were listening in on them. Or worst of all - they would try to make you join them. Hell no, you were getting out of the damn closet.

”Okay I’m leav-”

Chishiya slapped a hand over your mouth before you even had a chance to turn away from him, and grinned back at your horrified expression. What the hell was he doing?

Your eyes were shooting daggers into Chishiya’s dark orbs, silently telling him to let you leave the closet before they started the meeting and said something that you didn’t want to hear. You were not going to be an accomplice to whatever scheme they were making. There was a reason why you refused to be in that group of idiots. Standing up straight, you took a quick breath and reached for the door handle, just to be grabbed by Chishiya’s hand and dragged further back into the closet.

”If you leave now they’ll force you to join in,” he whispered, so amused by the situation that you wanted to kick him in the shin.

”If I don’t leave now they’ll think I’ve been listening behind their backs,” you hissed as low as you could while pulling your arm out of his grip.

”Are we starting this or not?” Niragis irritated - make that irritating - voice broke the stare off between the two of you and you made another leap for the door. Just to once again be stopped by the man next to you, who this time decided to force you out of his way and block the door with his body. God damn it.

”Fine,” you muttered. ”I’m not listening to them though,”

Chishiya smirked and watched as you took a few steps further back into the small room. You thought that the further in you were the less they would be able to hear you when you eventually would cuss Chishiya out for whatever he would do next. What he did do next was not a scenario you had expected.

”This might take a while,” he whispered, following you like a shadow. ”We should do something to pass the time.”

Reaching the end of the closet, now fully turned towards him again, confusion took over your annoyance for a second. What did he mean with ”something to pass the time”?

Before you could utter even a ”huh”, Chishiya had gotten closer, now so close that you could feel his body against yours. His hoodie was soft against your skin when he took one last step and was now flushed against you. Soft lips and pointy hair tickled the side of your neck as he spoke again.

”I dare you to not make a single noise before those people leave the room,” he said, his voice barely a whisper aganist your ear but still so loud that every nerve in your body turned to life. Slender fingers ghosted over you arm, from your fingers to your elbow, then back down again before running them along the bottom of your shirt, teasing them along your stomach. Oh, that bastard.

Still, you couldn’t deny how good he was at getting you going. Your breath had already sped up, your hands clenched onto the sides of his hoodie and that tingling feeling between your legs was already there. You barely registered that his hand had moved further down and was now playing with the waistband of your shorts, successfully popping the button open before reality finally hit your lust clouded mind and snapped your eyes open. When did you even close them? Moving your head back so that you could look at him, you shot daggers into his eyes, seemingly making him even more amused than he already was.

”What the fuck are you doing?!” you mimed at him, but that only made his grin wider and his hand snake it’s way down your pants faster.

You wanted to stop him, but you also wanted him to continue and get into your panties already. Conflicting feelings, but you knew that the latter was the one that was going to win. Pissed at yourself for giving up your pride so easily, you spread your legs a little to give him better access. Chishiya was so happy with himself right now, you could feel it in the way that he wiggled his hand under the waistband of your underwear and gently stroked over the skin above your center, taking an extra second to linger there just to tease you just that tiny bit more before finally moving further down.

A warm finger slid over your outer folds, treathening you enter at any second but still taking its sweet time. You dug your nails down into Chishiya’s arm to try to ground yourself while you were waiting for him to stop toying with you and touch you properly, but as usual he had other ideas. You could feel the smile on his lips as he pressed them against your neck, right below your ear, dragging out a soft sigh from your throat.

”Shh, they’ll hear you,” he whispered softly before pressing his lips down again. A light dab from his finger reached your clit, and even though it was barely a touch it sent a jolt through your body. Smirking at your response, Chishiya finally started to move his finger - unfortunately it seemed that he had lost all memories of how to do it properly. You knew that he was having fun messing with you by the way his finger just happend to miss your clit while drawing circles around it. If you didn’t know better you would think that this was his first time ever touching a vagina. You rocked your hips in frustration, trying to get him to stop his teasing, and with a silent, snickering, huff of air against your ear he stopped playing and started stroking you just the way you needed him to. Slow, calculated motions that sent electricity through your body. He knew exactly how much pressure you wanted, what speed you needed, and he gave it all to you.

”Feel good?” Chishiyas words were barely there, so soft and quiet that you almost thought that you imagined them. A tiny nod was all you could give him, your face now buried in the hoodie on his shoulder to make sure to keep quiet, and to muffle any possible noise you unthinkingly made. You would not lose this time, you refused.

The voices outside were long gone from your mind. Even if they were there, your ears had blocked them out and replaced them with the sound of your own heartbeat mixed with Chishiya’s breathing. It was almost as fast as your own, flowing next to you like a calming white noise. That, blended with the smell of him clouded your mind and let you enjoy the warmth that his fingers quickening pace was giving you. It felt good. So good.

It didn’t take long for you to feel it, the tightening in your belly, the fire heating up your body, the bliss that was going to spill over. You dug your nails down a bit harder, earning more pressure from his finger, driving you closer and closer and-

*SLAM*

Both you and Chishiya froze, teeth clenched to not make any sudden noise and give away your position.

”Let’s just fucking kill them off then!” Niragis voice echoed through the room, merely a few meters from where you and Chishiya was fixed in place. His hand was still between your legs but he had stopped moving it in preparation of getting caught. Slowly, you lifted your head up from his neck and stared at him, trying to find any help with how to react, but Chishiyas eyes were excited. How was he always so calm during situations like this? One noise and you’d both be busted, and yet here he was, with that stupid smirk while waiting for what would happen next.

Seconds felt like hours as you both stood there in complete silence, waiting for Niragi to walk away from the door seperating the group from the two of you. Your heart was racing and beads of sweat were starting to form on your neck as you held your breath. Fuck, what if he tried opening the door? What if he slammed his gun into it instead of the wall and accidentally broke it open? Just to see you standing there with Chishiyas hand inbetween your legs. There was no bullshitting your way out of that. You would have to live with the constant harassment of the beach making fun of -

The finger pressing down on your clit abruptly interrupted your thoughs and you couldn’t help but to almost squeal in suprise. Thankfully you were clenching your teeth hard enough to not let it slip out, but Chishiya’s face was amused nontheless.

Thankfully Niragi decided to head back to the table and leave the door alone without any further slamming on walls. As soon as you heard the footsteps become lighter you let your head fall back onto Chishiya’s shoulder, choosing to ignore the excited expression that was plastered all over his face. If you didn’t know better you would think he was trying to get caught. You barely had time to let go of the breath you had been holding in, before his fingers returned with full force and pushed your body right back to where he had left you - on fire and with that tight knot in your belly that was so close to unravelling.

”Hmm…” he hummed happily into your ear, fingers not relenting. ”It feels like you enjoy almost being caught.”

”Shut… up…” you tried to mouth back at him, but as soon as your mouth opened his fingers found their way to your entry. Inch by agonizing inch two of his fingers sank deeper until he started to rythmically move them, stroking your walls with ease from how wet you were. He let the palm of his hand rub against your clit while his fingers rubbed your sweet spot over and over again, guiding you to the orgasm your body had been holding in.

You came with a huff of air, muffled by the white fabric that you were desperately clinging on to. Chishiya continued to pleasure you through your climax, softer and slower but still enough to drag out every possible second of bliss. When you were finally coming down from your high you raised your head back up and took a deep breath, which you almost choked on when you heard the chairs in the room outside all slide over the floor at the same time.

”Okay, the first one to see Chishiya will tell him to come and see me,” the Hatter loudly ordered the crowd, clearly bothered that he would have to repeat the meeting to the man who had heard it all, but ignored it to play games with you. His voice was followed by footsteps, and just like that the room was empty again.

”Good job,” Chishiya smugly whispered before removing his hand from your panties, to then nonchalantly wipe his fingers on his own swim shorts. Your eyes followed the way they curled into the fabric, swirling around on there to dry off any traces of you before heading out. You crinkled your nose at it and hoped that he would wash them as soon as he got back to his room - but then realisation hit you like a brick.

”How are you not hard?” The slight squeak in your voice turned his attention towards you once again. The front of his shorts were flat as a pancake and his hoodie wasn’t even covering up that particular area.

”Why do you ask?” Chishiyas was enjoying your suffering and shame, no doubt about it. ”Do you want to get me off too?”

He swung his hips back and forth, mocking you.

”No thanks,” you retaliated, sour that he was able to keep such control of his body while you had just let him finger you in a dusty closet with people outside. You decided to change the topic. ”So what do I get for winning?”

”You get the honour of washing my shorts later.”

[perplexingly]

Ok so you like self destructive tragic characters right. Self inflicted trauma on top of external trauma type stuff. (I've been thinking about Anders lately and you described him this way and I. can't stop thinking about it.) Can you elaborate on this type of characterization and what exactly makes a character written this way successful and not come off as just incompetent, frustrating or pure evil? I've found myself keeping an eye out for more characters like this but I haven't found any more that aren't shoved squarely in the "evil villain" box both by their source material and their fandom. As a character creator myself I'd love to write more characters like that and given how much you seem to appreciate them I'd love to hear your input. (Hope this ask isn't too weird, I just love well rounded characters that don't fit the status quo and I'll take that wherever I can get it.)

(Also, I've been replaying Skyrim recently before getting back into DA and once again our gaming interests have somehow realigned and all your posts about Enderal are tempting me to try it myself. I'm curious what mods you use, if any beyond Enderal itself? Your posts are the first I've heard of it so I'm not sure if it's even recommended to use mods lol, but I thought it was worth the ask)

Hello! Yes I love characters like that, but I’m afraid I won’t give you the analysis you need, I don’t have many thoughts in my head…

I think that characters like these do come off as all these things you mentioned (just look at all the Anders discourses around, or how Hamlet is perceived as indecisive and pathetic, Captain Ahab as insane, and Victor Frankenstein as “the real monster”), but regardless are still compelling, maybe because they often have very strong convictions, embody that “road to hell is paved with good intentions” proverb? Some of them are also just straight up charismatic (and often kind too!) and it’s easy to like that, though I don’t think that’s a necessary trait to find them interesting. (Anders came off as charming in Awakening as well, but then again, I liked the way he acted in DA2 more). Oh another thing is that they’re almost always the thing that moves the story forward.

Of the top off my head I can think mostly of self destructive characters in classic literature but I’m sure every media and every time period has plenty. Besides previously mentioned I’d also consider characters such as Captain Nemo (by the end of the story at least, for the most part he’s presented as noble and high-functioning), Jekyll of Jekyll&Hyde, Marlowe’s Faust (this one is 100% self inflicted without much external tragedy), any protagonist of any Dostoevsky book, maybe Balladyna (she’s a villainess akin to Macbeth though), maybe Orestes and Electra

Oh for modern works, definitely Captain Flint from Black Sails, Tolkien’s Turin (though there is a literal curse on his family line), Mrs Danvers from Rebecca, maybe Fitz from RotE (though he is more passive than any other character I listed here). I’m sure there are much better examples, it was all off the top of my head though :D

About Enderal, yesss I recommend it highly!! I didn’t use any mods, but there’s a bunch on Nexus (it has a separate page from Skyrim, though I believe Skyrim mods should work as well??). Enderal is more akin to a stand alone game than a mod though, for me it took 60hrs to beat and I didn’t do all of the side quests/didn’t meet all of the named npcs 🥹

Also, good luck with your endeavors!!

[girlreblogger]

also to add to my previous post, when i say blk yn go through crazy situations im exaggerating but i mean (“cause me personally!!!!!!!!!!!”) allowing the character to be treated in certain manner and be put in “awkward” positions. i also want to say that the “situations” seem unfulfilling like i wanted to say in the first place.

because of the unsavory situations she is put in she legit has to have characteristics that are straight up unnecessary if the wellbeing of her character was prevalent. and i have to say that because of blk yn stories that it applies to. (and no ian talking abt how ppl be complaining abt yn being “ghetto” 😒)

drama, comfort, or for fun, is cool and dandy but it’s the same type of thing and i’m not tryna come for the plug stories like don’t nbgaf like omg i’m so tired of hearing bout them freaking stories.

to the ppl who still decide to ignore how damaging fr CERTAIN! blk yn fics y’all remind me of the ppl who support tyler perry movies simply because it’s for entertainment and “he’s telling a story” (that not everyone has)

yep. those things are true but an impact worse than good is being produced. like bffr.

and i feel conflicted by even saying that because some ppl obviously genuinely relate or find comfort in those stories but at what cost. like is comfort worth change and progression?

me rn:

some ppl just really don’t gaf and don’t care to want better. please don’t let the ppl who don’t gaf sway you. for the ppl who do, reblog nice fics or write. blow them up so other blk girls can find them. we deserve it.

there are so many blk fics where yn is not going through those things and if there is “drama” is solved or there’s a healthy resolve. (there’s so many blk writers who need to be publishing books fuck tumblr or ao3 and tryna get reblogs. with all that talent girl MAKE SOME MONEYYYY! YALL STUFF BE GOOD.)

i’m dead serious. why haven’t you thought abt it.

but yeah. it is what it is we have to put more work in to change as people in general. but i really just want my ppl to grow. ppl find comfort in fics for a reason. i really think a good balance of what everyone is looking for and needs should be found. i know ppl gonna feel like ppl telling them what to do but they prolly the ones who don’t want the change for wtv.. reason… ahem..

ppl feeling hit by what i said:

there’s obviously a problem and as a ppl! why can’t we just fix it. like at least try.

side note:

there’s so many ways to get drama. also the smut after arguing piss me off this is off topic cause it applies to a lot of ppl who make fics but like damn. y’all ain’t gon talk it out. and it be the most weird arguments and stuff and you wanna squeeze lemons after that???

idk that annoys me like everyyyy time? and i think smut after arguments can be well written but ….

anyways the blk ff community to damn big for us to be sitting here starving acting like we don’t have food in the refrigerator to make something.

get it together yall. youn want what’s in the refrigerator go get your keys and buy something.

i’m tired of this shit that’s why so many blk writers stop writing or ppl stop reading because it’s too much going on all for some damn fake characters we wanna imagine ourselves with.

and i know for some ppl it’s abt the followers and all that which i mean to each is own i mean

sigh i was tryna be proper and cordial but i really want better for us but it’s so many ppl who go too far or do too little. and some are so sheep that they go with someone else’s opinion too. you know you tired of all the toxic fics say sumn. you know you tired of ppl constantly bringing up yn being ghetto for no reason (that shit piss me off so bad i can’t. they be so close but so farr) say sumn.

me after thinking someone finna bring up how unnecessary struggle love/toxic/extra smutty blk fics are but they end up just complaining abt yn using aave:

anyways i’m ranting. i wanted to say what i felt.

muah

[gumnut-logic]

Lego Volcano (Part 5)

Alexander Sweetapple series | Lego Volcano - Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

It has been some time, and some of this fic has been sitting on my hard drive waiting for attention since May (wow) but tonight I finally started writing more of this. Writing muscles are still a bit rusty, but fortunately I know mostly where this is going. There is more written so hopefully I can post that soon, too.

I also feel that some fo this might be a bit familiar as there have been a lot of WIP Wednesdays since May and I have the vague feeling I posted some of this already, but there is new stuff here as well.

This one continues to be @idontknowreallywhy, @sofasurf, @womble1 and @sailing-on-a-puddle and other wonderful Thunderfam peeps' fault :D

@onereyofstarlight has been her usual amazing self, even rereading this whole thing from the beginning and helping me out with some of her specialities as well :D Thank you so much for your wonderfulness :D

This is Alexander Sweetapple so the fic is m/m. If that isn't your jam, this isn't your bread. Though I will admit, there is very little of that in this bit as Scotty is the one who is having a hard time this time :D

As always, so many thanks to Thunderfam for being the amazing kind fandom it is ::hugs the lot of you::

I hope you enjoy.

-o-o-o-

Being ever so competitive, all the Tracy brothers knew how to get to any part of the villa in the shortest possible time.

Gordon availed himself of that fact the moment John called him.

He had been putting on his swim trunks ready for his morning foray in the pool. Moments later saw him leaping a Lego volcanic island and landing smoothly enough amongst the bricks to slide to Alex’s side.

“What happened?”

Alex had laid Scott in the recovery position. “He has a fever.”

Gordon ran through vitals without thought.

Scott groaned and attempted to shove him away.

“Yo, Scooter, you’re on the floor clocking a temperature somewhere in the hundreds. Give yourself a break.”

His brother mumbled something and tried to roll over and get up.

“Oh, no, you don’t.” Gordon grabbed him as Alex scuttled out of the way. “You are staying put until Grandma gets here.”

As if summoned by her callsign, their grandmother hurried into the room. “Scott, honey, what happened?” She stepped lightly over the Lego scattered across the floor and knelt down beside her grandson.

“I’m’kay, Granma.” Scott pushed himself into a sitting position.

Gordon growled at him, but placed a hand on his back, not convinced he wouldn’t fall over again.

“Looks like you’ve picked up Virgil’s flu, honey.”

Scott swore.

“Gordon, please find us a hoverstretcher.”

And that was how Gordon found himself dragging an obstinate and complaining, cranky big brother up to the infirmary and tucking him into a bed. The protests were of legendary proportions until Grandma brought them to a firm halt.

“I’m fine, Grandma.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I’ve got work to do.”

“You’ve got resting to do.” She switched off the scanner and turned to put it away.

“Gordon, stop fussing!” And yes, his hands were swiped at.

He took a step back. “Fine, oh great Commander, tuck yourself in.”

And there it was, his feverish and ill brother trying to be big brother but running out of resources and struggling to hold himself up. Wet, blue eyes attempting stoicism and failing. Damnit, Scott, why do you do this?!

“International Rescue, we have a situation.” John popped up by the bed.

Oh, for the love of-!

Scott sat up, ramrod straight in the bed. “Go ahead, John.”

“We’ve got a cargo freighter foundering off the Great Barrier Reef.”

Gordon exploded. “What?! How the hell did they even get near it? Those are sanctuary waters!” Goddamnit! The remains of the Great Barrier Reef were a World Heritage Treasure. The Supreme Barrier Reef was an attempt to save the ecological system. What little was left of the actual reef off the coast of Australia was ever so precious. How the hell had they ended up in those waters at all?

John, as usual, was calm, but his expression said everything. “Investigating as we speak.” In other words, both he and Eos were out for blood.

Gordon let out a breath. Damn it was good to have a family to depend on.

“Thunderbird Two and Four responding. Get Alan down here. I need transport.”

“Gordon!”

He turned to his beloved eldest brother who was radiating heat like a blast furnace. “Alan and I have this, Commander. You’re staying in bed.” Moving towards the door, he almost collided with Alex. Stumbling, he gestured with a firm finger at Scott. “Make sure he stays put.”

Gordon tore out of the room at a run.

He had a reef, and possibly a few people, to save.

-o-o-o-

It had all happened so fast.

And Alex had no idea what he should be doing right now. He stood beside the door, not sure what to do with his hands, feet, or any body part really.

From the moment he caught Scott, events had just happened around him. The Tracy family responded smoothly and well-practised and before he knew it, Gordon was out the door, and Alex was left in the infirmary with a weak but literally vibrating Mr Tracy.

Mrs Tracy had looked at her watch and cursed. A firm finger and quiet word with the bed ridden man and she was hurrying out the door as fast as her grandchildren had moments before.

But she did brush her fingertips across Alex’s shoulder as she passed, catching his eyes enough to reinforce Gordon’s wish to keep Mr Tracy where he was.

How the hell was he going to do that?

In the distance, Alex heard the roar of Thunderbird Two as she launched from the Island.

Virgil was not going to be happy.

He let out a breath. That’s where he should be now. Virgil would be clambering out of bed. There was no way he would not respond to that sound.

A rustle of sheets and Mr Tracy was sitting upright again. “Thunderbird Five, give me comms.”

“Negative, Thunderbird One.”

“John-“

“Thunderbird Prime’s orders. You’re on sick leave, One.”

Mr Tracy swore dirty, very much not the calm, cool professional Alex was used to.

“Rest, Scooter. We’ve got this.” And the line cut out.

The man on the bed deflated like a balloon, falling back onto the mattress almost as limp as when Alex had first caught him.

An arm came up over his eyes and a barely discernible whisper crossed his lips. “Goddamnit.”

-o-o-o-

Mr Tracy lay there like that for enough time for Alex to think he had fallen asleep.

Should he leave or go? Both Gordon and Mrs Tracy had asked him to stay…really ‘ordered’ him to stay. But Virgil…

Virgil needed Alex to give him permission to relax. Virgil needed Alex to drag him back to bed to stop his headlong run into work and exhaustion.

Yet Virgil was reportedly the level-headed brother.

Virgil had often described Mr Tracy as the embodiment of his Thunderbird - fast, impatient, determined, and consequently ridiculously prone to working himself into collapse.

In Virgil’s case, it was a pot and kettle situation, but after tonight’s demonstration, Alex had first-hand experience and there was the distinct possibility that Mr Tracy would do exactly what Virgil predicted.

As if the thought was permission, Mr Tracy rolled over in the bed and pushed himself into a sitting position.

Alex blinked. “Do you really want to do that?”

The man jumped, tired eyes latching onto him and widening. “Alex?”

Stepping forward, Alex held up a hand. “I’m sorry, Mr Tracy, Mrs Tracy said you need to stay in bed.”

Those blue eyes blinked once sharply and then again but slower. “There’s a situation.” His words were running into each other.

Alex took another step closer. “Mr Tracy, you need to rest.”

He looked away, mumbling something.

“Mr-“

“Alex, my name is Scott.”

“Sorry, sir.”

That drew those eyes back to him, if only for them to roll as Mr Tracy let himself fall back onto the bed. “Augh, Alex.”

“Sorry, s-“

The man grunted.

“-cott.”

A more positive grunt and he shifted on the bed, pulling the covers over himself before fixing his eyes once again on Alex.

Those eyes had so much power.

“So, Grandma has you sitting guard.” It wasn’t a question, more of a challenge.

Alex straightened his spine. “I guess so.”

There was steel in that tired blue, but Alex held on.

Just long enough for Mr Tracy to sigh and relax back into the bed and close his eyes. “Fine.”

There was silence after that. If Alex was working for any other employer than the Tracys, he might have been afraid that he was throwing away his career future.

He wasn’t.

The silence stretched on and Alex resisted the urge to fidget. But then a soft snore wafted up from the bed.

It was followed by another.

Oh, thank god.

Alex wilted where he stood, suddenly aware of exactly how early in the morning it was. A chair beside the bed beckoned, so Alex edged over as silently as possible and curled up.

He watched the bed covers move evenly up and down as Scott slept.

Up and down.

In and out.

Up and…down.

His eyes dropped closed.

-o-o-o-

Next

[mybrainproblems]

hello, i'm finales georg...

i don't want to further clutter up the notes on this post while responding to the tags below but the persistence of the "finale is short/scenes are missing/extra ad break” conspiracies drives me absolutely bananas when i've watched the finale ten times and have posted about this A LOT trying to clear things up. (disclaimer that yes, i'm a goddamn destiel shipper but i care about Facts above all.)

ok but this is weird because i'd swear the episode was shorter (11 missing scenes!) but okay. maybe we all mandela effected ourselves into #beleving that. because it felt shorter. but i will die on the hill that it had another ad break. i understand this person has the thing #recorded with ads so i am thinking maybe different ad breaks in different idk time zones??? #because the finale did air an hour earlier in canada so maybe idk i am reaching here but maybe different states or whatever had different #ad breaks??? as for the last minute changes - wasn't the cover band asked for permission to use their version of carry on like a week before #the thing aired??? so even if the episode was 42 minutes and had no additional ad break - which i am side eying but lets say all was normal #i will always say they were changing thing until the absolute last minute (carry on my wayward son X 2 #the crew on the bridge which is not only giant 4th wall breaking but also wow they really got all those people in one place in times of #covid???) #anyway. tinfoil hat stays on sorry guys :/ (via @officialmisha)

short and snarky: there are plenty of real and sourced examples of network homophobia and scripted/directed destiel scenes being cut to point to. we don’t need to make this stuff up just bc the finale wasn’t what we wanted. so it’s not the mandela effect — it’s ppl repeating a conspiracy/rumor bc it supports their narrative and it’s easier and more fun to repeat something that supports a narrative they already believe (misha or something destiel was cut) vs the boring act of fact checking.

longer circumspect answer with links bc like many ppl i am in my debunking era and i rewatched "roblox_oof" last night.

like i said. i've watched the finale ten times. i’ve gone over the episode with a fine toothed comb and posted a detailed breakdown of timing marks on my blog. it’s actually extremely obvious where the ad breaks are once you know roughly where to look for them (they have a longer fade to black instead of a quick cut scene change). there’s no room for extra ad breaks and i think this conspiracy/rumor persists in part bc the episode feels so sparse in terms of cast and the fact that the episode’s momentum hits a barn post (and rebar) less than 20min into an hour-long programming block.

also i’m begging ppl to actually look at that timing mark post. it’s very straightforward and i spent a lot of time on it. i don’t care if ppl plagiarize it at this point if it means this conspiracy stops. i've got almost every second accounted for.

the "eleven missing scenes" that you're thinking of are probably from the finale script of questionable authenticity that @spnscripthunt acquired back in 2021 which can be found here. it's dated as the “final draft” from 11 sep 2020 and filming on 15x20 wrapped on 10 sep 2020. as noted at the bottom of this superwiki page "[the] script came from someone claiming to have been the person who did the closed captions for the show in Russia. There are some indications that it possibly may not be authentic, but this has not been confirmed."

if we go with the possibility that this was a transcript meant for subtitles, the "omitted" scenes were probably written but never filmed since it's the "final draft" and not a color revision (blue, green, yellow, etc). unfortunately, i’ve lost track of where i read it and a preliminary duckduckgo search isn’t bringing it up bc there's a program for script writing called final draft, but iirc the “final draft” version of a script is a transcript of what was filmed (e.g. there are parts of that 15x20 script that ended up being deleted scenes on the DVD). spnscripthunt also has an example of a confirmed final draft for 09x02 (funnily enough, also a dabb-penned ep). if anyone can confirm with a source that i have the purpose of the “final draft” version designation wrong, please let me know! i love being proven wrong with Facts.

i do want to acknowledge that the two “final drafts” do look different from each other and the 15x20 one doesn't look like a “real” final draft script since it lacks the revision/versioning dates that a script would normally have on the cover page. it could be that it was intended for subtitles; there's the chance it's been re-typed to anonymize it if there was anything indicating who the "owner" was, tho that seems a wee bit cloak and dagger to me. and again: it's considered of questionable authenticity. there are some things that don't quite line up but oh dear god i don't want to get even further out into the weeds than i already am.

i won't disagree that it's weird as hell that neoni only got asked about using their cover seven days prior to the episode airing (tiktok here). my personal theory is that they were hoping to get a more expensive song (maybe a zepp song, idk) and didn't manage to secure the rights in the end. again: this is pure conjecture on my part! but i could absolutely see someone working on the show hearing neoni’s cover and liking it and then maybe they were using it as a placeholder until it got down to the wire and they had to make a call/send the ep to networks. because yes, it is baffling they played a song and then a cover of it with only a 40 second break between. (i do actually really like the neoni cover! the placement is just weird and i think it could have worked if they had the kansas version at the beginning and closed with neoni's full cover.)

as to the 4th wall break COVID stuff: robert singer talked with variety magazine about filming the last two episodes and the logistics of filming during a pandemic. whether they should have been filming during a pandemic is a separate discussion but their use of office vs set pods, strict quarantining and daily testing meant that they had zero positive tests in the month they were filming (18 aug to 10 sep). so given all that, i personally don’t think it’s totally out of pocket to have everyone standing outdoors on a bridge for maybe an hour to get a drone shot of them together. (i won’t get into incubation periods and viral load, but if everyone tested negative that day and every day for a month prior, it was a fairly low risk scene to film outdoors and for all we know everyone was masked until the last possible second. there were plenty of outdoor masked protests in 2020 that weren't superspreader events.)

and before anyone brings up “but misha was in vancouver!” i know someone who looked into it and they said no dice, nothing matched up between the backgrounds in those pics and places in vancouver. his statements about “us” going back to set over the summer were pretty generic in hindsight and “we”/"us" could be him or the spn crew generally. unfortunately i’m not able to find those tweets but the use of “we” was likely so as not to give away he wouldn’t be returning to set. (bc we were absolutely casbaited!) and bc it comes up a lot: the "onion field pic" was from when they were filming 15x17 and was not taken while filming 15x19 and 15x20.

besides, it would be ridiculous to go through the financial and logistical headaches of bringing someone into the country to film during a pandemic, only to cut their scenes in the end! honestly, the script is pretty tight when the scenes are given so much breathing room! the only thing i could see being further cut down is The Monologue and even then, i don’t think there was any intent to cut it down given it was filmed in fairly long takes.

i’ve said it many times before, but i believe the finale was fucked long before they returned to set. walker got the green light in sep 2019 and it was being marketed heavily as a “follow on” show to spn given jared’s involvement. the demo they were courting for walker has little to no overlap with the demo for destiel fans — why would they want a finale that catered to a demo they weren't interested in courting? we just went through a historic double strike that exposed so much of the rot of business interests overriding creative vision. this isn't completely unfounded conjecture.

i will not apologize for the length of this bc i wanted to be thorough, but i do want to give context that i think the reason these conspiracies and rumors grind my gears so much is because anyone can fact check all of this. the truth is out there and absolutely none of it is that hard to find. the most time consuming/difficult part of this was finding someone who had a DVR’d copy of the finale from when it aired live and they actually found me themselves after i’d been low key asking around for a year!

and like. i get it. conspiracies are fun. but there are so many sourced instances of network homophobia and destiel being cut that it's like. why is this something folks are hanging onto? the cw is notorious for having upper level meddling with finales bc there's a follow-on show they want to shuffle fans along to and spn is no exception.

[the-way-astray]

im sure youre bored with asks about your rant, sorry. but i can't wait to see you tear into unlocked, HIS POV

he sucks so much and the fact that people read his thoughts and still like and love him is crazyy to me

i'm not bored at all, anon! i like it when people talk to me about my rant.

i actually started my unlocked novella rant! fun fact: that's actually the reason i posted only the first eight books separately. i was originally going to wait and post the entire thing after unraveled's release, and i got through the first eight books at a reasonable pace, so i started the unlocked novella thinking i'd get through it even faster because it's only sixteen chapters, right? but no. i was so wrong. it was just so. much. too much. like i'm not kidding when i say i had something to say about keefe like every paragraph of that novella. it was overwhelming as shit and slowing me way down because i couldn't even get through a page of his pov without writing down like a page of rant material.

eventually i stopped because i decided i needed to lay some ground rules about what not to include to make sure that i wasn't just saying effectively the same thing over and over again and running it into the ground. but then, i was also like, but isn't the point of this format of rant to include all of keefe's worst moments and aren't i taking away from that by cutting stuff out, even if it's repetitive? and i didn't know how to resolve that, so my solution was just. do it later. and then i put it down and never got back to it. so that's how much stuff i have to say about keefe in unlocked, lmfao.

he does suck indeed (in my opinion)! it's insane to me, too. i can honestly say i have no clue how people manage to still like him, but then again, he is a fictional character, not a real person, and sometimes likable qualities or a well-written character arc aren't as important to people as relatability, and i'm sure there are many people that relate to him or his trauma.

anyway because you seem eager, have a few excerpts from my unlocked novella rant. just for you, anon:

“[ . . . ] Keefe could feel Fitz’s sour guilt swirling through the air.” (555) Not only was Fitz actively trying to help Keefe feel better, but he also felt bad about reading Keefe’s mind to do it. Keefe had no good intentions with his comment about Sophie and Fitz’s breakup (he literally just did it to rile Fitz up), and didn’t even feel sorry about it afterward. So why do I never see people talking about that, whereas Fitz is questioned for his actions here?

“‘[ . . . ] because you end up making the damage permanent.’ ‘I’m not damaged—’ ‘You’re right. That was the wrong word.’” (556) What the heck??? This always pisses me off so much every time I read it. Keefe purposefully twists Fitz’s words to make it seem like he said something he wasn’t. He made it seem as if Fitz was launching a personal attack on him for his new abilities, where Fitz was simply stating that Keefe would end up with permanent physical damage if he didn’t take his medicine and rest. Just for reference, Sophie said the exact same thing to Keefe in Nightfall and he didn’t immediately accuse her of personally attacking him. So there are some double standards there. But then. Fitz actually coddles Keefe and says that he was right, and claims that he used the “wrong word”. Wow. I- The way everyone in this series just bends to Keefe’s will however little or much sense it makes infuriates me. What the heck, Keefe. Grow a fucking spine. It’s just a word. Why does he have to complain and whine about everything all the time???

“[ . . . ] until Fitz had to go and prove that he was the worst best friend in the history of best friends by asking, ‘Okay, but . . . what about the mimicking?’” (560) He’s the worst best friend because he brought all the information to the table? Wow. And no, Fitz isn’t the worst best friend ever. Keefe is. He takes pleasure in seeing Fitz angry and sad. I can’t imagine a more subtly degrading and manipulative friend to have than Keefe.

“[ . . . ] Fitz told her—because he was begging for a face-punch. And if the world hasn’t gotten so spinny, Keefe might’ve given it to him [ . . . ]” (561) Fun fact, Keefe had an entire moral dilemma in Flashback over the fact that he feels like violence comes easier to him than most other elves. Sophie had to spend an entire forced consolation scene basically lathering him up because he has no fucking spine. So here’s an inconsistency with Keefe’s character right here. He should’ve felt really freaked out by this thought right here because it’s an example of his “violent tendencies” coming out. But he doesn’t. He moves past it like it’s nothing. More proof that Keefe never actually worried about that and Shannon just needed something for Sophie to comfort Keefe over. It never actually amounts to anything of actual value with regards to his arc or story. 

“‘Uh, for the record, most of the emotions are coming from you, Fitzy. You wouldn’t happen to have some unresolved feelings for anyone in this room, would you?’” (561) Keefe continues to purposefully try to provoke Fitz and hurt him for no other reason than that he enjoys seeing his best friend in pain. Why can’t he keep his nose out of other people’s business? Why does he have to be so cruel? Why is Fitz still best friends with this pond scum? All he does is annoy, embarrass, and act cruel toward his supposed “friends”. Why do people like this guy??? He is so toxic, so subtly degrading, so deceptively manipulative, it blows my mind. Does he have something against treating people nicely or something?

“If Fitz’s grumpy resentment had been the only emotion churning around the room, Keefe would’ve let him stand there and stew in it—maybe even made another joke to amp it up. But Foster’s feelings were such a brutal mix of hurt, heartache, and humiliation that he had to mumble, 'Sorry. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I just meant—’” (562) What an upstanding guy. What an awesome best friend. When I purposefully say something cruel to make my best friend feel bad, he can take it. But when my crush feels bad? However will she like me if I’m mean to her? It’s just another example of Keefe’s tendency to be cruel for no reason, as well as his obsession with Sophie. He knew he made Fitz feel bad, but he actually considered making it worse. Wow. And “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded” is just a straight-up lie. He meant it to be cruel, and that’s what it came out as. So in case you think Sophie and Keefe’s relationship is built on any sort of trust or mutual comfort, think again. He just tried to gaslight her. Again.

[naychuchu]

🐈‍⬛

tw: this is my first time actually posting anything i’ve written. i made these pretty late at night so i’m sorry if they’re bad i just wanted to write something. probably some spelling mistakes and stuff i didn’t feel like checking it throughly.

a/n: please be nice

personal

* i’ve mentioned this before but baji absolutely LOVES the yakuza game

* favorite one is yakuza 0 (definitely not because this is the only one i’ve watched so far🌚)

* john cena fanboy for absolutely no reason. has his theme as his ringtone

* number 1 baby metal fan. owns their merch and goes to every concert

* his favorite season is summer for obvious reasons but his favorite holiday is definitely christmas because he and mikey ride around with shin

* HATES horror movies. like nothing can convince this man to watch them. even the kiddie ones like goosebumps or scary stories to tell in the dark will have him act like the devil just touched his soul

* definitely the kind of guy to walk around with one lens in his glasses after a fight

* purposely named his bike cockroach knowing pah is afraid of them

* he used to hate his fangs when he was little because kids used to tease him and say he was a dog

* that was until he started saying he’d bite and give them rabies if they kept messing with him

* cannot grow facial hair to save his life

* judges people on how they interact with animals, specifically cats

* despite popular belief, i don’t think he would get any tattoos. he seems like a piercing guy and definitely cannot sit that long for a tattoo

* gave himself the alias edward because he used to watch twilight with his mom

* he even had a phase when he acted like a vampire but will vehemently deny and threaten anyone who dares to bring it up

* is lactose intolerant and just like many of us will eat dairy and instantly regret it as soon as it hits his stomach

* sometimes he feels insecure about the fact he was held back, all of his friends moving up while he’s left behind

* even though he has a reputation for committing arson and slightly unprovoked violence, keisuke is truly a model citizen☝🏽

* volunteers at shelters, helps the elderly, feeds the homeless, solves climate change. he truly is a saint and can do no wrong!

home life

* i like the idea that his mom was a teen mom and that his father was never really around and just stopped coming one day

* due to her job, his mom sometimes works really late or super early so over the years he’s learned to cook (the only good thing he can cook is yakisoba)

* on the nights he knows his mom will be back late he cooks her food and despite it not being the best she still loves it

* even though she works a lot the two of them are still very close and their favorite thing to do is read manga and watch mystery dramas whenever she’s off

* despite not knowing his dad(he only visited when he was a baby) he never felt insecure about it

* he’s a total mamas boy, and will fight anyone who says something about her

* when ryoko was younger, she wanted to have a lot of kids but after having keisuke she changed her mind. she felt it would be selfish to have so many kids when she works so much and after realizing how much of a handful he can be.

* despite that and having him at such a young age, keisuke was the best thing to ever happen to her and wouldn’t trade him or his wildness for the world.

relationship

* back on the yakuza point, whenever you’re sad he’ll grab a hair brush, turn up the radio and start singing 24-hour cinderella to you until his voice is gone

* when you guys get in a fight he’ll act like he’s in a 2000’s r&b mv and start singing bakamitai. chifuyu gets the hose to spray water above him, kazutora plays the music, and ryusei records the whole thing so baji can send it to you

* a biter, like what’s the point of him having those sharp ass teeth if he don’t try to take a chunk out of you

* whatever your favorite animal is, he’s gonna buy every single book about them so he can share little facts about it with you

* if you’re into a specific artist or group, he’ll listen to their whole discography and learn everything in the fandom

* becomes a horanghae enthusiast and will force you to be one as well

* just like he’s loyal to his friends and toman, he’s loyal to you

* like foreva togetha foreva LOCKED IN 🤞🏽

* a girl tries flirting with him and all of a sudden he’s hellen keller

* the type of boyfriend to say you’re too spoiled whoever you ask for something while doing said thing you requested

* will literally lift his ass off the seat while you’re sitting next to him and fart on you then blame it on you

* talm bout some ‘ew the hell did you eat’ like his diet doesn’t consist of yakisoba, monster energy drinks, and beef glizzies

* speaking of farts😸 keisuke will send pics of his shit to you asking if it looks normal

* will make fun of you if you’re lactose intolerant as if he don’t be upside down on the toilet fighting for his life

* is constantly in your personal space. like he’ll be standing behind you while you play like candy crush or best fiends mumbling about moves you can make. sometimes he’ll snatch your phone and play it himself

* what’s yours is his. mid chew on something he wants? he’s opening your mouth and popping it in his, no matter if it’s soggy

* absolutely loves giving and receiving hugs, being in your arms makes him feel safe and gives reassurance that despite all of his flaws you still love him

* stares at you with his mouth open, no matter what you’re doing or how you look his eyes are on you 24/7

* takes the absolute worst pictures of you on facetime and puts each one in his favorites until the end of time

* throws rocks at your window at like 4 in the morning knowing you both have school just so you can ride around with him until the sun comes up

* i feel like he’d totally like mellow down on the things he does. he doesn’t want to worry you while he’s away

* constantly checks up with you so you know he’s okay and not lying on the ground somewhere and dying 🌚

this is so scary bye 😭

[fuddlewuddle]

How do you manage to write so much, like, without running out of steam (or seemingly running out of steam) - it seems like your creativity is constantly flowing, it's wonderful! Do you have any tips for writing and keeping motivation going? It's clear you're so passionate about everything you write. It's really inspiring. I'm really happy the top gun fandom introduced me to your fics. xxx

Hi Nonnie!

First of all thank you for the lovely message, I’m so happy you enjoy my fics. 🥰🥰

Now, in answer to your question, I feel like I need to caveat it and say that I realised pretty early on, that I don’t seem to have a brain like everyone else when it comes to writing. As in, no one else I know, writes as much as me 🙈 (to put into context, I’ve been writing fanfic since March 2021 and I’ve written over 3.4 million words, so yeah, the brain rot runs deep 😅).

But for tips on writing and how to stay motivated, I would say

Write characters you love. You’ll be spending a lot of time either in their head or writing about characters falling in love/ interacting with them. If you don’t like the character you’re writing it will generally show. You’ll have probably noticed that my favourite character is Maverick, and one of my favourite things is writing other characters fall in love with him. Describing Tom Cruise and how beautiful he is (whether as Mav or any of the other characters I’ve written of his), makes me happier than anything else. But I also love writing Mav’s POV, because he’s such a complex character. I’m currently on 322 fics with Mav in, and I love him more than ever. Him as a character and all the possibilities for stories involving him, keeps me motivated.

Be open to writing different things. I know everyone has hard limits on things they won’t write, so I don’t mean them, but more in the sense of scenarios or kinks you might not have considered, and not letting preconceived notions of the idea stop you from trying to write it. I’ve written so many kinks and stuff, mainly for RoosMav, that I never would have written before, but to me it was a way of exploring their dynamic and relationship in multiple ways, which stops me becoming bored with them as a ship. You don’t have to do this, but I just feel that if you spend too much time doing the same kind of writing (whether that’s writing style or scenarios or kinks) then inevitably you’ll get bored and move on, and you might not actually want to leave your blorbos behind.

Write for yourself first. Generally I don’t write an idea I wouldn’t want to read. If I put effort into writing a story it’s because at some point in the future I want to come back and read it. Other people read in my stories and enjoying them is always a wonderful bonus, but I never forget I write for me first. If you do this, then it doesn’t matter what you write, it’ll always be a success regardless of the number of kudos or comments.

If you think no one else will read your fic, think again. I’ve written so many random ships (SO many 🙈) and there’s always someone who will find them. The world is better with your creativity out in the world than hidden away. At least, that’s what I like to think every time I post a crossover fic about a pairing no one else has every considered anyway 😆

If you open to writing multiple pairings, then I find it’s a great way of getting over writers block or ennui about a pairing. Keeps it fresh, as some ideas don’t work with some pairings, but it does with others, and it means you don’t get sick of a character.

Don’t force yourself to write when your body/ mind isn’t up to it. If your body needs rest, make sure you rest. The ideas and words will no doubt come when you least suspect. Or at least mind do. Usually when I’m trying to sleep 🙄🤣

And finally, I would say, don’t be made to feel ashamed of what you write. You can write whatever you want forever. No one else is going to write a story the way you would. So, if want to write it, then do. I can guarantee someone will read it.

Anyway, hopefully some of this is useful. As I said though, I’m honestly not sure how I manage to write so much comparative to other people. I probably need help tbh 🤣

Thanks for the ask, Nonnie! 💜

[rwbyrg]

I'm with you on the whole weirdness thing. I'm so tired of having to censor myself to not bring "shame" on everyone who ships it.

Dw anon ur safe here. Do whatever you want forever. If both sides are going to be disappointed no matter what we do, we might as well have fun, eh?

There are things and topics I don’t talk about on my page - not because I don’t want to, or I think they’re shameful, or that I’m worried it’ll reflect badly on others. There are other topics I have no particular interest in, but I don’t think they need to be as heavily censored as they are. The reason I don’t share or interact with them is because it simply isn’t safe to. Because everyone’s idea of what is weird or inappropriate is different. And it’s become normalized that if you break these unwritten rules that you’re just supposed to know and agree with - despite them never being clearly defined - then you’re asking for a witchunt. And it’s your own fault for getting hurt because you stepped out of line. Because you didn’t just “behave”.

Antis think us shipping rg at all makes us -insert buzzwords here-. Then we turn around and people within our own walls say “so long as you don’t talk about this or make the characters do that, then you’re good”. For the most part, we know the antis will never accept us, which is manageable for some of us. It’s predictable. The problem truly lies in how much we have to walk on eggshells within our own spaces for risk of people who are supposed to be in our corner teaming up with the bullies on the outside. Because then nowhere is safe for us. That’s the reason so many people left. The reason so many people don’t engage. And it doesn’t foster creativity, it stifles it. It only fosters restriction and fear instead.

This isn’t to say that all these hidden rg shippers are all secretly into the nastiest stuff imaginable. I can confidently say that many of us are against or neutral about the topics, and many others - even the ones you think never would, even the ones that have made public attacks against that very content - are interested in it. Have had discussions, written stories or aus, or drawn things of that nature or anything in between… the only reason no one sees it or associates it with the ship and this community is because it only happens behind closed doors. Where it’s safe. Where there isn’t risk of bad actors or antis breaking in, taking screenshots, and sharing it around to induce harassment campaigns.

I use a lot of buzzwords myself when I talk about The Discourse (which I hope to stop making posts about after this ask because I promised this space would stay relatively free of it). But I am truly just repeating what I’ve researched of these phenomena from a bird’s eye view. There is significant overlap in online fandoms - from tv shows to celebrity stan culture - and systems of abuse. There’s overlap with violent political movements, co-opting of social justice tools that were never supposed to be used against each other for this, and even studies showing that the beliefs within these circles have significant overlap with cult tactics. Especially behavioural control and ostracization from the community of anyone that challenges the norm.

All of this is just to say: engage with fandom how you want to. Be kind to each other. Curate your spaces against content you don’t like without trying to control how others behave. Without harassing people. Find like minded people that are safe to share the things you want to talk about with, and share whatever you want or feel safe enough to publicly. The people who don’t respect us, who are always watching and waiting for us to slip up so they can attack, will never be satisfied. The goalpost will always be moving, and respectability politics - this oppressive belief that if we just behave we’ll be safe - makes us anything but.

[truthem]

How I immerse myself in Korean and Spanish

한국어 (Korean)

I think I’m doing so good in Korean because I’m constantly watching things in Korean and exposing myself to the language.

1. K-pop

I’m such a big K-pop fan and it really helps my learning process. If I didn’t enjoy K-pop I don’t think Id be able to comprehend half of what I can today.

I watch a lot of “vlogs” from my favorite idols. (My fav to watch are LE SSERAFIM’s vlogs, they’re just really easy for me to understand and entertaining at the same time).

ATEEZ is always doing something and they’re my ult group so I’m just constantly watching them. Recently though I haven’t been watching their stuff so I have a lot to catch up on 😅

The music makes no sense to me because obviously song lyrics aren’t written in conversational everyday Korean so I don’t even really count that as listening comprehension. Every now and then I’ll catch a word I know and get shocked though 🙏

I used to watch V-lives or whatever they’re called now a lot but I can’t focus for that long anymore. (박성화 has the best lego lives)

2. K-Dramas

I don’t watch as many dramas as some people but I feel like they’ve definitely helped me get used to listening to Korean.

I try not to take any phrases or vocab from dramas because it’s a drama… and they’re dramatic 😭

I started watching Business Proposal like a month ago but I got distracted with exams and I stopped watching it with 2 episodes left… (SPOILERS: istg if 하리 and 태무 don’t stay together I’m giving up on everything)

3. Korean Cartoons

I LOVE Learn Korean with Jadoo. I barely understand any of it but it’s helped me a lot with understanding how certain grammar points are used and how certain words are used.

I also like watching Peppa Pig in Korean because the episodes are short and sweet and they’re relatively easy to understand.

I used to watch We Bare Bears in Korean but I watched like every episode they had on YouTube so now I’m rewatching in Spanish. (I genuinely love We Bare Bears, it’s always been the best cartoon out there)

4. Korean News

I like to read a lot of Korean news to help with pronunciation and reading comprehension. It also allows me to find some more specific vocabulary that I would use in describing what I do, what I like, and what I want to do in my future because I can find real stories that are specific to my interests.

5. ASMR

Soy ASMR and Seonghwas ASMR videos have been single-handedly holding my life up. Judy ASMR is also a really good creator. I like to watch like roleplay ASMR like “friend does your makeup for a party” or whatever because it exposes me to more casual vocabulary.

Español (Spanish)

1. Classes

I do take Spanish classes at school so I get over and hour of Spanish immersion in while at school everyday. We mainly use Spanish in the classroom.

2. Spanish Documentaries

I’m a bit more advanced in Spanish than I am in Korean so I prefer to watch Documentaries as to cartoons.

Documentaries also interest me more than cartoons in some aspects like learning more about different latin cultures, hearing different accents and dialects, and learning about how other people live.

3. Cartoons

I only really watch We Bare Bears in Spanish because I just like the show, but sometimes Spanish feels like a chore to me or like I’m just learning it to pass a class at this point, so cartoons are a good way to just casually comprehend the language.

4. Spanish News

I found this really good Spanish news for kids website and it’s so incredibly helpful. I’m in the process of making a “Spanish Resources” blog post like I did with Korean so I’ll definitely link that there.

I read the articles out loud to help get more comfortable with speaking, reading and my pronunciation.

They also have a podcast that’s just like a read aloud of the article so after I read the article, I go and listen to the podcast.

The topics are really interesting, too. Like one of them was about this lady bringing her pet pig to the airport to help calm people down??? I wanna go pet a pig wdym????

6. Spanish music

There are no words in the English language to express how much I love Spanish music.

It’s literally just so beautiful.

In class we have broken down various songs, so I can understand music very easily unlike in Korean even if I have to think about the lyrics for a bit.

7. Spanish YouTube videos/ASMR

I watch a lot of “un día en mi vida” type videos and I love ASMR so I watch a lot of those. 🙏

[laladellakang]

hi.

i’m finally back and i owe you all an explanation. tw a lot of text so the summarised ver. is; i still have writer’s block but i’m feeling more inspired so hopefully content since it is birthday and anniversary month, and i’m revamping this account/editing my fics

so thankfully, i’m not dead, but my account(s) definitely has/have been. the last thing i posted was the beginning of december and the last fic i posted was november

as you all know, i’ve been having constant writer’s block these past few months, and i did some reflecting on my ‘break’ and realised that it’s just a massive accumulation of a lot of things

firstly, it took me so long to just reply to asks because (and i feel like i always say this) i feel horrible if all i do in this acc is yap around and not actually post a fic, because this is why you’re all here for. now i realise that… well maybe if you’re only in it for the fic you wouldn’t follow me and just stalk my page. I DIGRESS, but i just don’t think it’s fair if i come back with no fic, and the problem is; my writer’s block is still going strong.

why and how did this happened has been eating me up terribly and NOW i know why

1. online class is over, so with in person classes and going to uni + my job + maintaining irl relationships, i realised that my brain isn’t entirely focused on just classes and this fic anymore. but i really want it to be because this fic used to be is an escape for me

2. my fucking thesis OH MY GOD. i had so many written assignments + a thesis that writing was suddenly a chore and i wanted to avoid ANYTHING writing

3. my laptop broke :/ thankfully i have a new one now

4. ANXIETY FUCKING SUCKS. as a perfectionist, i feel like my style of writing is so shitty. and i keep trying to fix it but i just don’t know how. i keep rewriting the same thing over and over again just because i think it doesn’t look right

(and also a bonus; i found out a family member of mine is in enhaficblr and i kinda felt sick knowing they might read my stuff)

SO i have ultimately decided to edit and rewrite my fics and keep them within the same link and post BUT keep the archives on wattpad just in case you like them better <3 bc i know the pain of going through fics you liked OR WORSE, COMFORT FICS and finding the links or the work gone

and i’m also going to STOP FUCKING WHINING and try my hardest to write more. i feel like those tiktok comments that go “chop chop movie boy, you chose this life.” i have recently entered the jujutsu kaisen fandom (even though i’m not much of an anime person) and have been really inspired so i hope it can push me through this shitty ass slump i’m in

i love you guys a lot. i see your asks and your comments and they always make me push through (and oftentimes giggle). i’m really really really sorry for the constant wait and i appreciate you so so much. i’ll reply to asks soon 🤍

(pls still love me too 🥺)

[chishiyaisasnack]

Dare, part 3

Part 2 Part 4

A new chapter of the smut series is here! Thank you for all the support on the last two parts. This part is written in both Chishiyas and the readers pov. When you see ”——” it means that it changes pov. When you see ”————” it means it just jumps forward a tiny bit in time.

I’m writing and posting this on mobile so I apologize for any wierd formatting.

Disclaimer! This is pure smut and very nsfw. Stay away if you’re not of age or if you don’t like to read about it. This is fiction. Be safe and use a condom irl.

Tags: @chishiyashoodie @jimingotjams

Chishiya was rarely a man on a mission but the time he spent trying to figure out how he could get a hold of sex toys were taking up most of his time right now. He could ask Kuina, but he would either have to tell her that he was going to use it on you, himself, someone else, or maybe that he was planning on gluing them to some of Niragis guns (which honestly sounded like a great idea for a later date). Either way, he was never going to hear the end of it. So that option was a no. Then there were the option of just asking the Hatter if he had some. If anyone would have a stash of toys it would be him. But that was also a clear no. The third option was to actually go and look for a store, and even though it was the most bothersome one it was the only option he could stand. So the next time he had to go to a game he decided to leave early and walk through the side alleys of Shibuya until he found one. And he actually did. Who knew that whoever created this world would keep sex shops in it? It was the first time he was in one and he was almost too overwhelmed with how many things that actually existed within the world of adult toys. Dildos in shapes and sizes he couldn’t even imagine, vibrators, rings, ropes, handcuffs and so on. Just the variations of lube to choose from was endless. He ended up picking out some of the simpler stuff, things that didn’t seem too complicated to use. He grabbed it and a handful of batteries and then hid it in a backpack that he later left outside the game area so that no one would see him carrying around a bag of dildos. He’d rather die than face that scenario.

When the game was over and he’d made his way back to the Beach he was exhausted, but put his remaining energy into getting back to his room unseen. One good part of making everyone dislike him was that nobody would ever stop to talk to him, just like he wanted. As soon as he got back to his room he locked the door, turned on the bedside lamp, sat down on the bed and got to work with figuring out how everything he brought back with him worked.

————

Finding you was easy. You were usually either in your room or on the roof, looking out over the city and trying to get away from the reality you all were in. He always started with your room, and today, once again, he found you staring at him with that wonderful, annoyed sigh coming out of your mouth when you opened the door to see who was knocking on it. He had really gotten in your head and he enjoyed it immensely.

”What do you want Chishiya?” you asked while he pushed his way between you and the doorframe without even thinking about asking if he could come in. He kicked off his flip flops and walked towards your bed.

”I took up on your offer and found some stuff” Chishiya answered with a smug face as he put down the backpack on the bed.

”My offer? Stuff?” you questioned to the sound of him openening the zipper. You turned around to face the bed and was met with him turning the backpack upside down and a flood of sex toys falling onto your bed.

Chishiya turned his gaze over to you. The face you were making was great, confused and shocked, but with a hint of amusement your eyes.

——

”What the fuck, Chishiya?” You could barely believe your eyes but you had to admit that you were curious. ”How? Why? When?” you asked, trying to take it all in.

”I found a shop on my way to the game last night” he started explaining, like it was the most normal thing in the world. ”You said you’d use them while I watched if I got some for you but I don’t know what you like so I got a few for you to choose from.” he proclaimed while pointing at the colourful pile he had created on the bed.

”A few? There’s like twenty of them there” You didn’t have to count to know that there were an excessive amount of dildos, vibrators and other stuff laying on the foot of your bed, spread out in all their glory.

Chishiya smirked as he sat down on the bed and waited for you to come over.

”So, which one - or ones - do you want to start with?” he asked, leaned his head to the side, and patted of the bed to signal for you to sit down.

”Okay, first of all, who said that I was going to use any of them?” you stated as you started to make your way to the bed.

”You did. You said that you’d show me as long as I didn’t make the toy myself. I didn’t make any of these so that deal is done.”

”You… I said I might use them. Might” you crossed your arms over your chest in an attempt to look more assured but in reality you were just trying to grasp the situation. A rainbow of pleasure was layed out in front of you, and you had to choose if you wanted to try it out in front of the man you couldn’t stand most or the time, or if you wanted to throw him out of the window.

In the corner of your eyes Chishiya looked up at you, eyes dark and curious. He already knew that you would say yes, the glint in your eyes said it all. He just needed to coax it out of you. So he said, with that low, dark voice that he knew that you couldn’t get enough of:

”Then which one might you use for me, y/n?”

————

How did you end up laying down on the bed with your head on a pillow, in your panties and with a dildo in your hand? To Chishiyas great pleasure you gave in as soon as you heard that voice again - the fucker knew that you had a soft spot for that voice, even though it’s only been a few days since the first and only time he’d used it. He was of sitting on the egde of the bed with a front row view of your body and what would soon be the greatest show of his life.

”Aren’t you going to take those off?” he questioned and pointed at your lacy underwear still secured on your hips. The rest of your clothes were already in a pile on the floor but somehow you hadn’t mustered the confidence to take off the last piece.

”Mhmm” was all you could answer, still trying to get over the feeling of embarrassment that was occupying your mind. You had chosen to go with what you knew, a pink dildo type vibrator, smooth with a bent end that were there to put pressure on your g-spot inside of you. It came with a bunch of vibration settings and you had experience with them all, considering that you owned your own copy of that particular toy back in the real world. You held it with a crushing grip while gathering courage. You wanted to do this. You wanted to show Chishiya what he was missing out on. You wanted to tease him, cry out his name while he couldn’t do more than watch you. You wanted to drive him mad and then push him away to get a taste of his own medicine. However, the though about being watched like that was making you shy. Masturbating wasn’t new to you but it was still very private and not something you’d just share with anyone.

——

Chishiya sensed your hesitation and decided to try and ease your nerves. He moved from the edge of the bed and sat down next to you, legs crossed in front of him with one of his knees touching one of yours. He started by caressing your thigh, his hand soft and warm, leaving a burning trace after it when he moved it over you, from your knee and up to your hip. He squeezed the soft skin of your waist and then left a feather light scrape of with his fingernails over your stomach. He traced the goosebumps he created, using just the tips of his fingers to create even more of them. Then he moved down to the lace trim of your panties. He slipped his thumb right under it and ran it from one side of your hip to the other, never inching closer to where you wanted him but never going further away either. When he reached your other hip he removed his hand and shifted so that he could hover over you and placed a soft kiss right below your belly button. He kept kissing you, all over your stomach, chest and right under the curve of your breasts. Your body, and mind, relaxed under his warm lips and the ends of his hair that were tickling your skin whenever he moved. You ran your fingers through the soft strands, a gentle and caring touch that always took Chishiyas breath away. He was used to being treated roughly, his whole life had been pushing away feelings until he became numb. Sex was just sex, touching was just touching. There had never been anything more to it. But whenever you did something so small, so gentle, he couldn’t help but to let himself enjoy it and feel safe for a second. He wasn’t much for intimacy but you were helping him to open up to it bit by bit, even if he tried his hardest not to.

Chishiya left one final kiss on your sternum and sat back up again, watching your body move after him while he did so.

You were beautiful like this, completely submissive to his touch and ready to be molded into whatever he wanted. He was in awe over how trusting you were when it came to this. You were strong and nobody could cross you if you didn’t want them to. You were respected by everyone. Chishiya had seen it as a challenge to break you, to see that strong facade shatter, but no matter how much he had tried you were always a step ahead of him. You saw through the manipulation and the games he tried to play. He never thought that it would be so fucking exciting to have someone not fall for his mind games. You challenged him. In the end you were the one that got in his head, not the other way around. Yet there were this side of you that only he got to see. Vulnerable, intense, trusting. You gave yourself to him, not just with the physical part of the sex but the mental part of it. That was why he kept coming back. And now you were going to surrender again, and he was so turned on by it that it was almost painful.

”Chishiya…” Your whisper snapped him out of his thoughts and he met your eyes with his. Moving his eyes to your center he swiftly pulled your panties down your legs, making sure to drag his nails along your thighs as he did. Before the panties even hit the floor, he spread your legs, got inbetween them, leaned in, and buried his tounge between your folds. The mewl you let out went straight to his cock, making it strain against his swimtrunks even more than it already did. He tasted you like he was starving. Long licks followed by circles around you clit, just to go back down and tease your entrance and then do it all over again. You were so warm and wet against his mouth and the way that you rolled your hips against him while frantically grabbing his hair just fueled him on. He kept going, making you fall closer and closer to the edge that you were searching for. Every gasp and moan was like music in his ears, and he was the one playing you like an instrument.

He didn’t stop until he remembered why he did this to begin with - to get you to finish this yourself.

With a smirk he sat back up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand while watching your heavy breathing and body shaking under him.

”I dare you to show me what you look like when you think of me doing that to you”

——

Fuck it, you thought as he watched you with that intense, confident stare that told you that he knew that you would take up on his dare, he was just waiting to see how long it was going to take. You put your foot on his stomach, which was unfortunately still covered by the hoodie, and pushed at him. He got the hint and moved back to the edge of the bed again, still sitting with his legs crossed and facing you. The smirk on his face grew bigger with every second and you couldn’t wait to get it off of him.

You sighed, moved around a bit so you laid comfortably with your head on your pillows and your knees bent. He had a perfect view of you and you kept reminding yourself not to be embarrased and instead give him more than he could ever dream of. You were going to blow his mind.

You started by slowly dragging the tips of your fingers over your stomach, moving your body with them just to show off, and by there way he looked at you it was working. His smirk was gone and his dark eyes were intense, and moving between your hand and between your legs like he couldn’t decide what he wanted to watch more. When you got to your mound you let them linger there, just for a bit, just to make him impatient enough to want to move your fingers by himself.

”I’ll do this on one condition” you said breathlessly as you kept inching your fingers further down, still not touching where he wanted you to.

”And that is?” You could tell that he was struggling to keep his composure and it gave your confidence another boost.

”You can’t touch yourself unless I tell you so” you continued. He put his hands in his pockets as a gesture.

”Good boy” you whispered. You weren’t sure if it was your praise, your fingers finally moving to your clit or a combination of the two that made Chishiya stop breathing for a second, but it didn’t matter. You fluttered your eyes closed, started moving one of your fingers in a circle around your clit and let out a needy moan. Your other hand was still gripping the toy but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing that part yet.

”I always start with my fingers” you informed him. This was going to be fun. ”I keep wishing it was your fingers though. They feel so good against me.” Chishiya swallowed hard.

”I want to get myself so wet that the toy slides right in. Just like your cock does.” you hummed, moving your fingers down to your entrance. ”Like this.” You slid two fingers into yourself while moaning quietly. You started to slowly thrust them in and out while pressing them upwards. ”I can never reach properly, your fingers feel so much better. They’re so long. So good.” you continued. When you opened your eyes you knew that your tactics were working. Chishiya was breathing faster, his chest rising and falling in a hurry. His hands were still in his pockets but you could see how hard he was holding his fists.

You removed your fingers and held them up so that both you and him could watch the wetness caught inbetween them as you inspected them.

”You always get me so turned on, Chishiya” you murmured while you were drying your fingers by dragging them along your inner thigh. His breath hitched at the sound of his name as he followed the wet stripe your fingers left on your soft skin. ”I have a toy in the real world, one just like this one” you continued while holding the dildo up to show him. His eyes sparkled with curiosity. ”It helps a lot when there’s no one there to fuck me”. You put it between your legs and ran it along your folds, getting it nice and wet. Chishiyas eyes followed it like a dog follows a treat.

”I wish it was warm, like you are” you purred, eyes on his. ”But putting it in, just like this,” you slowly inserted the dildo, closing your eyes and gasping dramatically, until you bottomed out. ”…always feel so good”.

——

Chishiya licked his lips, almost carnivorously. What he wanted was caught between wanting to watch you fuck yourself and wanting to fuck you himself. He went with the first option, only because he knew that he probably wouldn’t get another chance to see you do it, and he wasn’t going to miss out on this opportunity. But, damn, it was hard. He wanted to throw that toy out the window and fuck you until you couldn’t move. He wanted you to beg for him to take over and show you that he could do it so much better than you could yourself. His cock was aching and his fingers were going numb from how hard he was clenching his fists but he didn’t move a muscle, doing everything in his power to not disturb you.

He kept watching you as you slowly started to thrust the pink toy in and out of yourself. It was glistening, slick from your insides and Chishiya wanted it to be him so badly. Every time it bottomed out you gasped and moaned, the volume picking up with the speed of your movements.

”It’s never enough, ahhh, with just this” you gasped as you reached in with your other hand. ”I always need something more.” You started to circle your clit with your index finger in the same pace as you moved the dildo, increasing the amount of pleasure you were building up.

”I can never come with just the toy, I need this part too.” You punctuated your statement by putting more pressure on your clit and arching your back a little to the feeling it created. ”You’re the only one that has made me come without touching me here. Fuck, you feel so good inside me, Chishiya.”

A quiet groan left Chishiyas mouth before he could stop it. He knew that you were talking like that just to tease him, but it worked. He watched attentively at the way you were moving the toy, the depth, the speed, the power behind the movements. He noticed how you seemed to like it, small, deep and fast moving thrusts, almost as if you were grinding against it. The finger on your clit moved in circles, sometimes up and down just to get some change in sensation. He saw the way your thighs were trembling as you dug your heels further into the bed to get a better angle. Your eyes were closed and mouth open, gasping and softly moaning his name. Then you turned on the vibrations.

You started at the lowest setting, getting used to the intensity of the vibrations inside you. The small buzzing sound were filling up the silence inbetween the sounds of pleasure coming from your mouth.

”I always start on the lowest setting.” You explained between gasps. ”I can feel everything. Like you can when I moan around your cock.”

Chishiya almost choked on an inhale. A quick memory of your mouth around him flashed before his eyes and that memory went straight down to his cock, still aching and neglected. You had been so good, on your knees with your lips wrapped around him. He practically had to pull you off him. Good times.

You definitely noticed how flustered that made him and Chishiya didn’t even bother trying to hide it. His mind was trying to come up with every excuse to get some friction too. Even grinding into the matress seemed like a great idea. He couldn’t stop staring at the toy that was fucking you deeply, and imagining that it was him. He imagined you clenching around him, pulling him in deeper, grinding your hips on him the same way you were grinding against your hand right now. The desire he felt was overwhelming, his whole body hot and tense and craving release.

”I’m close” you panted as you sped up your movements. ”I wish I could come around you.”

He wanted that too, to feel how wet and tight you would be around him right before you came. His cock twitched again, precum leaking from the tip and staining his boxers. He didn’t even care about the mess, he just wanted to…

”Fuck, I want you to come inside me as I come around your cock.”

That was when Chishiya reached his limit. He couldn’t stand just watching anymore, he needed to be a part of it all. He used the small amount of willpower that he had left and instead of taking his shorts off, he leaned in and put his hand on the toy. Your eyes flew open in suprise, but you didn’t tell him to move away. Instead you guided him, let him get a feel of how you liked the dildo being moved, and then let him take over.

Chishiya used his other hand to push away yours and take over moving circles around your clit, soft but hurried movements, matching the speed of the thrusting.

He could feel how the toy moved inside you, how you became tighter and tighter around it the closer you got to your release. He watched the way your throat moved when you swallowed, the way your back arched, your mouth as you kept whispering ”yes, yes, yes” over and over again. Your legs starting to shake, your fingers gripping the sheets and your eyes fluttering closed.

Then he pulled the dildo out and stopped touching you all together. You let out what was almost a screech, and looked at him in disbelief.

”Why did you stop!?” you groaned, clenching your legs together. You had been a second away from your orgasm and he tore it away just as quick. ”I was going to come!”

”I know.” Chishiya answered, eyes dark and full of desire as he looked down on you. Your expression was lovely. Annoyed and flustered. Almost angry that he took away your fun. Well, now it was his time to have fun. ”Don’t worry, I’ll let you come. I’m just going to try something first.”

He spread your legs open once more and positioned himself between them before carefully inserting the toy again. He started with long, deep strokes, going all the way in and all the way back out until only the bent tip was still inside you. His eyes were laser focused on how your body took it in, and how it almost didn’t want to let it go.

”Chishiya, please…” You were trembling under his touch, grinding against him, trying to get him to do more. He looked back at your face and studied it while he kept moving his hand. You were panting, eyes half open and cheeks flushed red. And even though you were begging him, pleading for release, you still had that confidence in your eyes that made him so intrigued by you. You conciously surrendered yourself to him, but you could take back the power in a second. It was thrilling.

With his patience running low he decided to give you what you wanted and started to move the toy deep, hard and fast. You immediately let out a moan, almost as a ’thank you’.

”Touch yourself” he quietly ordered and you followed his words right away, moving your hand between your legs to brush your fingers over yourself. It didn’t even take a minute for you to be close again. Chishiya could see all the signs. Legs shaking, moans getting louder, desperate pleas falling out of your mouth. And just as he felt you clenching harder around the toy, when your whole body tensed and you were right on the edge, he pulled it out again.

The strangled cry you let out fed Chishiyas hunger for more, and when he swatted your hand away from yourself and was met with utter desperation on your face, he put the dildo back in. This time he didn’t wait, he did just as you liked right off the bat. You were close straight away, breathing like you couldn’t get enough air no matter how much you tried, legs kicking around inbetween the rolls of your hips.

”Fuck… please let me come.” You pleaded as you kept getting closer. Chishiya had other ideas.

”But you look like you’re enjoying yourself so much already..” he answered, eyes still glued on your face. He studied the way you bit your lip right after you moaned louder than usual, the way your eyebrows scrunched together when he started touching your clit again and the anger in your eyes when he pulled out the toy for the third time. And then the satisfaction when he threw the toy to the side and pushed himself in instead.

Chishiya didn’t waste any time. He drove right into you and fucked you the same way that he had with the dildo. He was bent over you, caged in by your arms clawing the hoodie off his back, and your legs crossed around his waist. You felt incredible. So tight, so wet, so fucking good that he could barely stand it. He bent his neck down, placing his lips right above yours as he kept rocking into you with all the power he could find within himself.

”Come for me” he whispered, feeling how your whole body shivered at his words. He wouldn’t last long either. Not when you were clinging to him like this, blurry eyes filled with desire and need staring back into his. ”I wanna feel you come around me. Come on my cock and I’ll come inside you.” Your eyes flew open and then he felt you tighten around his cock so hard that it felt like he almost lost bloodflow. Then you broke.

With an inhale so deep that it sounded like you were drowning, followed by a broken sob, you came. Your whole body spasmed, back arching so much it looked painful, and your head bent backwards into the pillows as you cried out, orgasm taking all of you with it. Somewhere in the middle you managed to kick Chishiya out of you so that you could squirm away from him and curl up on your side to get away from overstimulation while your body kept trembling. He watched as you clenched your legs together, your hands still gripping the sheets around you.

Chishiya was almost in shock over how absolutely amazing you looked. Your skin was glistening with sweat and your muscles danced under it with every pulse of what was left of your orgasm. You looked so satisfied, so fucked out, so wrecked. He sat back on his heels and just looked at you. The fact that he just blue balled himself was probably karma for the edging he’d just done to you. It was worth it.

”Shit” you hissed from the pillow you were currently sticking your face in.

”Feel good?” He asked, proud of himself for being the cause of it. He tapped a finger on your foot to get your attention.

”Mhmm…” you muttered back while turning your head up towards him.

————

Your whole body ached when you looked at Chishiya sitting next to you. Your legs felt like jelly, your stomach like you had the worst ab workout ever and your arms like they lost all function. How the hell had he made you come that hard? You thought you’d loose conciousness for a moment right before the orgasm hit. Not to mention what he said. It almost killed you on the spot. Sent you straight to heaven. Cause of death: Chishiya telling you to come on his cock. Fuck, he knew exactly what he was doing and it had worked wonders.

You felt Chishiya trailing the tips of his fingers along the curve of your hips, down to your thigh and then placed his hand over your knee. The warmth of his hand spread wherever he was caressing you, soothing your aching muscles with just a touch. He looked so proud of himself. You guess he earned it, so you let him have it without complaining this time. Then you looked down and realized that he was still rock hard, so hard it looked painful.

You gathered some strenght and rolled over so that you laid on your back again, then took a hold of his hand.

”Come here” you said as you spread your legs and pulled him back over you. His brows arched in suprise.

”You didn’t get to come…” you murmured as you raked your fingers down his chest and abdomen, feeling his breath hitch as you did. You continued downwards until your fingers met his cock, warm and wet under your touch. When you closed your hand around him he let out a shuddering breath and leaned his head into the crook of your neck.

You started to move your hand over him, up and back down again, slow and carefully. Your other hand was in the back of his neck, tangled in his hair, running through the soft strands. You could tell that he was trying to hide that he liked it but you always saw a glimpse of tenderness in his eyes when you touched his hair like that, and it filled you with warmth. Like you somehow managed to break through his cold outer shell and give him some comfort.

His breath was hot on your neck, quiet groans mixed with them as they reached your ear. You kept a slow pace as you stroked him, mixing it up by letting your fingers dance over him and slide your thumb over the head, which earned you a different reaction from him each time. His hips started to move with your hand as he rocked into the soft hold you had on him.

You wanted to praise him, tell him how good he had made you feel, but you had a feeling that it would be too much for him so you opted to show him instead. You wished that you had the energy to get on top of him and ride him nice and slow, to thank him for making you feel so good. Instead, you trailed kisses over his shoulder and up over his neck. You moved the hand you had in his hair, down his back and along his sides, lightly stroking in time with you other hand.

He cursed as he came, spilling hot and wet over your stomach. You jerked him through it, getting him all over you as you kept moving your hand, drawing out every ounce of pleasure in him. When his cock had stopped twitching you gave him a few more soft strokes before letting him go.

After a few breaths to steady himself he sat back up. Both of you looked down on your stomach and chest, seeing white liquid sprayed all across it. For some reason you really liked the view. He never came on you because he really didn’t like to leave a mess, no matter how many times you told him that it wasn’t gross to you.

Without thinking you moved a hand down and let one finger brush over one of the traces he had left, still warm and wet against your skin.

”Why would you do that?” Chishiya looked down on you with furrowed brows before he started to look around the room, probably looking for something to clean you up with.

”Why not?” You pointed at your bedside table drawer and he crawled right over to pick up some tissues that you had laying in there.

”You’re strange.” He leaned in over you again and started to clean you up, bit by bit until he was satisfied.

”You’re self concious. It’s nothing wierd you know.” You cocked you head to the side and continued to watch him as he threw the paper in a waste basket next to the bedside table.

With an eye roll he stood up, went over to the sofa you had on the other side of the small room and got a blanket that was thrown over a cushion. He went back to the bed and threw it over you instead.

”Thank you.” You crawled down under the blanket until only your head popped up from under it.

Chishiya sat down on the edge of the bed and put his clothes back on. His back was just as beautiful as the front of his body. He had some beauty marks sprinkled across it, smooth skin and muscles flexing under it as he moved around. Unfortunately the hoodie was back on all to soon and your ogling had to stop.

Once he was done getting dressed he spun around so that he was facing you. His hair was a bit of a mess, some strands hanging wildly out of place. His face looked tired, but in a ’I just had a great time’-tired way. The stupid smirk was back on.

”It seemed like the toys were a great idea after all.” He looked down at the discarded pink toy that was laying next to you before he looked back at you with a face full of pride. Ugh, you were going to do this again, wouldn’t you?

”I guess.” You answered, not giving him much of a reaction.

”The kick was a bit unneccesary though”.

”What kick?” Worry started to form in the pit of your stomach. You didn’t remeber kicking him. Had you hurt him?

”You kicked me off you when you came.” He said with a huff. ”You could have just told me to back off, you didn’t have to kick me in the stomach.”

The worry you had felt went away immediately when you saw his smirk turn into a grin.

”Don’t scare me like that, I thought I hurt you.” You sighed and shimmied around under the blanket to get more comfortable. You turned on your side and let out a content sigh. Your body felt like mush and you couldn’t wait to take a long nap. A shower would have to come later.

Chishiya raised an eyebrow at you before moving his way up the bed. When he got close enough he leaned down and trailed light kisses all the way up your neck, making you shiver under his touch, until he reached just below your ear. His breath was warm as it spread over your cheek and you couldn’t help but to close your eyes and relish in it. He ended it with a whisper, in that low voice that went straight to your core and lit your insides on fire every time he used it.

”Just tell me when you want to show me the next toy. We have plenty to go through.”