#I have so many ideas and everytime I don't draw I just end up with more of them

[lulubeanie]

Oughh.. I need to draw a picturrreee

[bisonaari]

Käärijä Summer Camp report

I don't really come here anymore and I don't think I'll be back anytime soon, but I still wanted to make a post about this! It's probably gonna be pretty long hahaha

Last time I travelled with my husband, but this time with the amount of things to do and people to meet, he preferred staying at home and took care of our little balcony garden <3 Thanks to him we now have a full ass jungle on our balcony lol

My flights were really uneventful. My first flight to europe was so empty that I had a full row to myself so I could have some good sleep time (albeit a bit uncomfy lol, plane seats are so hard), but that was it.

When I got to Helsinki, I was welcomed by a bunch of GOOFS omg

@mitamicah @j-restlessgeek @teal-skull @katinkulta @clovermoonspell and her friend from Norway were all there, Micah and Susanna arriving a bit earlier than me. We all went to the place I was going to share with Missy, Susanna and @kaarijalist for the next two days.

Those people. Are the best. I fucking love them so much you have no idea. Everyone I'll tag in this post is an absolute cutie that I love but I'LL SAY IT EVERYTIME Skull gave me my birthday present in advance and I just BWAAAAAHH that was so sweet ;A; It was a Jukka autograph that they got for me back in Böle (now framed in my living room ehehehe) and a custom bracelet for me, inspired by my kääryle tattoo ;A; I loved it so ridiculously much it was ADORABLE

I learnt later that day that I wouldn't be able to meet @likearainbowinthedark until much later in my trip and it was a bit sad, I really missed them ;A; Friendship at first sight during february, and now I have to wait MORE to see their face again??? UNFAIR!! And also I had made little crochet frogs for them and their wife ohoho I couldn't wait to give them to their new owners <3

We also met with @formulalakana and @carpblu at a cafe during the afternoon! I was a bit burnt out by the whole you know… flying 12 hours thingie, so I ended up going back to our place but it was still lovely meeting with them they are amazing people!!

The day after that was the actual Summer Camp meet up day!! We all met at the mural together with many people already tagged here, but also @jaarijani @smimon @icbimakb and @tuherrus !! I can't believe that we just started to talk on tumblr and we were all there???? In person??? In front of that stupid Käärijä mural, exchanging bracelets and laughing together? That was just amazing

After a group picture, it was raining too much to have a proper picnic, so we went to the Tikkurila library to actually have some time to hangout and share snacks and gifts from our countries, and draw on each other's clothes and notebooks hahaha. A really, really lovely time with everyone, I'm so happy it went so well. On one side of the room was the Summer Camp flag that Skull had made, and to me it was perfect.

I also was sitting next to icbimakb and I had some time to nerd out to them because they're my fav artist of all time and they let me look at their sketchbook and it was an honor and I don't think that my eyes will ever recover from looking at so much beautiful art. @shirtlessradfahrer arrived at about that time as well.

A bit later we were joined by @follivora @wednesdayday @king-krisu and @khihi !! They didn't stay long but it was fun to finally meet after seeing them on tumblr for such a long time !! Some of us went to queuing, the rest of us stayed to clean up and we went to the venue a bit later <3

The Backas gig was one of the greatest moments of my life. Seriously. Everything went SO WELL??? Missy, Susanna and I headed out to the vip area for the pre show meal, and the food was amazing seriously. I wish I could have eaten about 3000 more of those fucking potatoes they were INCREDIBLE. We were looking at people running for barricade with tenderness hahaha, like "Look at our children <3 So much energy". Then suddenly, Missy spotted him. The Häärijä. Chatting to people next to the merch booth. She had to stop eating immediately because she had gifts to give him, and there might not be any other occasion to do so. I also handed her the fanzines because I'm a bit too shy and I don't have anything to say to Häärijä hahaha.

Part of my Backas report in a previous post ! I'll just focus on the untold parts here

At the venue it was time to meet @hyviihommi and @omppupiiras and also @blatantlyhidden and @because-its-eurovision !!! And wait also @tmrwds and @taidotonheiluja and some more people that I don't know the url of but I know are fellow tumblr users!!

I can't say how much I loved this gig. Hugo was really great, he looks so much like jere when he was younger hahaha. Käärijä was in SUCH a great mood, he was smiling so much and having the time of his life being on stage that day I don't think I'll ever recover. It felt so good being there and having an artist in front of us who was having a blast. I was dancing with Skull and Missy (my immediate neighbours hahaha), looking at Micah and Carpblu having a blast in front of us, enjoying the music that I had been listening for more than a year now with other people who also loved the same music. It was such an experience I will never forget this. We also got Paidaton riehuja!! I did remove my shirt hahaha. If I wasn't wearing a mesh shirt and a bra I would have gone full tits out hahaha, but it was too much of a hassle. But it was SO FUN being able to take part in this!!!

I don't usually listen to It's Crazy It's Party, but live?? It's seriously top 10 of the greatest moments of my life. Seeing everyone around me going fucking insane was incredible and I wish I could go back to those moments.

After the show, we stayed around a bit to chat more. We took another group picture, who is absolutely perfect and I will cherish forever.

Our little group went back to our appartment by taxi and we missed the occasion to say taksit on jo pihalla I'm very disappointed smh

We were already losing our minds because of how well the meetup and the gig went and everyone getting to see their blorbos and have pictures and chats with them, when Missy looked at her phone and SCREAMED because Häärijä had made a story with the fanzine holy shit. You don't know how fucking proud I was. I think I looked at it for 5 hours straight hahaha. He doesn't know how a video that probably took him 5 minutes to film and post made every artist's day it was INCREDIBLE.

(this is a terrible selfie but whatever HAHAHA)

On thursday, it was matching tattoos time!! I am now the proud owner of a pineapple tattoo, matching with Missy, Jay, Cass and Micah. I am ridiculously happy to have it. I feel like we really are a weird family and I found my people. I love it so, so much.

Got to meet with @pianist-chan that day as well!! We all had a lovely picnic together as a group in a park, then one song at a karaoke bar! Micah and I didn't vibe with the bar so after a huge peak of anxiety we all decided to leave hahaha. It was lovely hanging out with everyone anyway so whatever hahaha.

Friday was the Allas gig!! I met up with the gang in the morning to go eat breakfast together, and we ended up getting @hika-chachachan at the same time after we both discovered that we're not the only french fan here HAHAHA. Sorry for everyone with us, we spoke in french most of the meal time because it was fun not having to speak in english for a short time hahaha. Later that day, we took a picture making the JUL sign, the only correct pose for cringe french people uWu

Then I went back to my hostel for a nice nap, got some food with Kat and then finally joined the queue one hour before doors. (I got to see @izpira-se-zlato and @n3ongold3n there! And also I could hug Bec again 💚) We got a pretty nice spot so I'm not disappointed! Although this time Jukka didn't notice me but it's fine I can't win everytime hahaha. The gig was also a lot of fun, nothing much to say here! I didn't realize at that time that it was my last time of this trip seeing Elsa, and I only fully realized it after she left :' ( I would have hugged you a lot harder hahaha

Saturday, Benjamin Peltonen and Erika Vikman gig with the kcord gang!! Before that I went to eat lunch with Cass!! It was sad saying bye, but I really had a fun time with them ;A; <3

I was super late for the gig and arrived after doors because that one guy in my hostel didn't realize that THERE IS ONLY ONE TUMBLE DRYER FOR THE ENTIRE HOSTEL DON'T LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AFTER THEY'RE DONE. URGH. He told me he just went to take a shower because it was taking too long WATCH YOUR GODDAMN CLOTHES MY DUDE I was so annoyed hahaha

Another session of meeting up with new people! This time I got to chat with @labda-kesho @beesgobzzzing and @dragon0blood and some more people I don't know the url of!! Anyway we had a great time! Benjamin looks like an angel, and Erika is…… you know how Erika is I don't need to tell yall HAHAHA. Everything would have been perfect without the extremely drunk girls around us spilling their drinks everywhere and literally falling on people. They had to be escorted out during Erika's part because they were way too annoying for everyone.

On sunday I FINALLY MET WITH EKO YIPPIE IT WAS TIME. I went to visit them in Espoo and ended up staying chatting with them for like 5 hours big oops hahaha we get along so well it felt like 10 minutes ;A; It was also my first time taking the bus by myself in Finland like a big girl!!! For the tram Elsa helped me so I could take it alone after she showed me how to, but the bus to another city?? That was a first one my mother is very proud

Monday, I went to Suomenlinna! When I lived in France 20 years ago, I lived right next to the ocean in a coastal city. Then we moved inland in Canada and you don't know how much I miss the ocean every single day. It's the #1 thing I miss about living in France, so I HAD to go to Suomenlinna. First of all, being on a boat again was so great, I really had missed that. It reminded me of the ferries I used to go on to travelfrom my dad's place to my grandma's place. Great times hahaha. Then I just wandered around for three hours, minding my own business and avoiding people hahaha. I sat next to the sea listening to the waves for hours. And it was the BEST. I think it cured me of 28 mental illnesses I didn't know I had.

On tuesday, I met with Eko once again but in Helsinki this time! We went to get tea together and chatted for another couple of hours HAHAHA. Teemaa in Helsinki is a lovely tea shop and you should definitely go!! I also went to the Skywheel on my way back I just HAD to yknow, Käärijä tourism

After I got back to the hostel, it was packing time to leave Helsinki for other horizons.

PART 2: OUTSIDE OF THE CIRCLE

My next stop was Oulu! So I headed out to the train station on wednesday morning to go on a 6 hours journey hahaha. At least it was a direct train, and the guy next to me was only here from Tampere to Seinäjoki, so I still had quite a lot of space for myself.

Once in Oulu, I was staying with @theplantbish and her partner. I cannot say how much I love her. There are not enough words to express this. The other people I immediately fell in love with I had already met them prior, so no surprises here! (Yall know who you are hahaha) But it was our first time meeting and it was like we already knew each other from 25 years ago. We went from total strangers to great friends in about 5 seconds, and then it took two days to have heartfelt late night conversations crying in each other's arms lol. Anyway this whole paragraph is a love letter to Plant you are amazing and I love you. I can't believe that in two weeks we got to talking on a daily basis hahaha.

Anyway, we also met with @gaysontoast because we went to pick them at the airport and WOW what a tornado of bubbliness <3 They were absolutely wonderful to have as a roommate!! (and they sleep like the dead hahaha)

In the afternoon it was my first time meeting with @submariini and @ravensofskyhold as well! I'm scared that I will run out of available tag spaces like you can only tag 50 people per post lemme count a sec ok we're at 33 still good (but absolutely ridiculous that I got to meet 33 people from tumblr in the same week??? what happened to not meeting strangers from the internet lol) but anyway all lovely people!!

The day after, it was finally time for Suomipop!! In the morning we went to pick @punanenmarli from the train station! Plant and her got back to Plant's place walking hand in hand and it was the fucking cutest shit I had ever seen ;A;

We then met at suomipop for Bess! HOLY SHIT IS THAT WOMAN GORGEOUS??? HOW DARE SHE??? WHEN SHE EMPTIED THE WATER BOTTLE ON HER HEAD I JUST

anyway I was completely normal about this show. Hm. So normal. Even during the french part in Lähtee käsistä. So. Normal.

The others wanted to go see Kuumaa during the evening and I would have loved to as well, but it was raining, I was drenched and cold and miserable and instead just headed back to Plant's place where I was soooo normal about Bess.

On friday, it was my birthday, yippie!!! The clowns from kcord (NOT PEJORATIVE IT'S THEIR NAME OK) got me a card that they all signed and I loved it so much a a a a a a ;A;

We wanted front row for the Käärijä gig later in the evening, so we were there at doors and immediately went front row, which meant that we also got to listen to Viivi and Yö ! Tbh, I really liked Yö, I understand why they're a legendary band hahaha.

However, between the two shows, Plant came back to our group and told me that Jukka. Sorsa. Was. Hanging out. In the VIP section. Which we didn't have access to lol. So we ended up just watching him from afar, when I noticed that he and his friends were leaving the VIP section and crossing the festival area. I told it to Plant who asked me if I wanted to go see him but I was like naaaah I'm shy. So she asked if I wanted her to come with me and I immediately said yes HAHAHA. We went over his little group and when we arrived at about 10 feet from him we waved, and he immediately came to us to have a chat WHAT A MAN I LOVE HIM. I was so fucking awkward (leading to this great interaction… me: "I just wanted to say hi!" Jukka: "well… hi" AAAAAAA IT WAS SO AWKWARD LOL). He noticed the earrings I made out of the guitar plecs he gave me and reached for them sir excuse me do you want me dead hahaha. I didn't say much after that but we still got a picture together that Plant took for me ILYSM

I met with Kat, Lou and their friend just before the Käärijä show and it was amazing as usual. This man knows how to perform hahaha. WE ALSO HAD THIS WEIRD MID-SPEECH SHIT TALK??? JERE WH A T???

After Käärijä, we headed up towards the other stage to Kaija Koo. I was on my phone for I don't remember what, and Plant poked me to tell me "are you on your phone? how often in your life are you gonna see Kaija Koo live??" and she was so fucking right omg. I put my phone back in my pocket and it was absolutely great, got to hold hands with Plant while dancing, seriously amazing. One of my best birthdays ever if not THE best.

We had a meal at Hesburger after everything hahaha (I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS HESBURGER), and in the not quite night of Oulu, to me everything felt so, so right.

Saturday, I got to see Kat and Lou again for souvenir shopping! I GOT THE FUCKING BEST MAGNET IT SAYS PASKA MAGNEETTI AND I'M FUCKING CRYING NO ONE AT HOME WILL GET THE REFERENCE BUT I DO AND THAT'S WHAT MATTERS LOL

I said bye to Kat after that but it's so ridiculous we live in the same country LOL I should visit Toronto at some point

At Suomipop, we got to see first Portion Boys and they were so full of energy what a show!!! Nothing can stop them, not the heat, not the wheelchair, NOTHING.

Smitten, Omega and I got to dip our feet in the water at the suomipop beach and it was so needed the sun was HOT that day. The fact that we weren't allowed more than our feet in the water was a tragedy though smh

After that, it was time to my beloved ARTTU WISKARI, I got into his stuff just before flying for Finland so I was delighted he was going to be at Suomipop!! Ed came with me to see him what a gentleman lol (seriously tho I really, really appreciate it!!)

Last suomipop show for me was Elastinen! While watching him I could only think that this was the most shark looking man I had ever seen HAHAHA.

After Elastinen, the group went to see Apulanta, while I went back to Plant's appartment to pack my suitcase, sadly.

On sunday, it was time to take the train again. Plant took me to the train station and we ended up crying so much hahaha I was a mess in the train. But if it hurt so much, it's because it was equally fun, and I can't wait to see her again.

I was headed to Tampere, then Turku! Skull escorted me to my Airbnb they're so lovely ;A; We talked together for about 6 hours lol before I had to leave to do some laundry. While my clothes were in the washing machine, we explored the k-market to find some Pirkka merch but it was all gone, so I just got a lovely @windows95man shirt hahaha. COME BACK TO TUMBLR TEEMU YOU BELONG WITH US

The day after I met with Skull again to buy some Posankka merch! Posankka…… my beloved…… the most beautiful pigduck of Finland <3 I got a reflector, in true finnish fashion hahaha. We then headed up to Luostarinmäki, an open air museum on finnish craftsmanship from the past. It was ridiculously interesting and we spent 3 hours where we only got to half of the museum LOL, we're nerds. Too bad…… I'll have to come back to Turku……… so sad

In the evening we watched TRAFIK and some more Powerwolf music videos, what a great evening holy shit

Interestingly enough, on tuesday I met up with… Skull again lol, they joined me in the park in the afternoon, we stayed here for 2 hours until we left to go to a student bar to get a lovely hot chocolate <3 It was absolutely delicious!

Wednesday, last day in Finland. I met up with, you have guessed, Skull again lmao. We headed to Vantaa (because I had a plane to take r i p).

Skull and I then headed to Arttu Wiskari's Allas gig. We were quite lucky as the rain had just stopped (btw Kallo I still have the rain poncho I stole from you lol it's in Canada now sorry).

We had so, so much fun. The gig was just really fun and light hearted, everyone knew the lyrics, and it was the best ending for an amazing trip. Nothing like dancing with your friend on good music!!

I hugged Skull and cried in the train. Familiar scene, lol. Me sobbing in trains in Finland. I love you so much Kallo.

There are no words left in my heart to express how loved I felt during these 17 days. I will be back. I promise. I can't bear to not go back when I left pieces of my soul with dear friends. Take care of them please, I'll be back to put some more of my soul in them. I love you. So very much. You made my life really bright for a short time, and knowing how good it can be to be alive I want to feel this again.

To all of you, who are my soulmates, my siblings, my loved ones, my beloved: thank you.

[chouxsardine]

Permission to Fall -- Jake Kiszka x reader

Summary: "Don't be afraid of falling, because he will catch you everytime" --Where things became too much at your company's Christmas party and Jake comes to the rescue as the most thoughtful boyfriend that he is.

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x reader

Word Count: 3211

Warnings: descriptions of a panic attack, feet (nothing gross or super detailed), a drop of superstition (let me know if I've missed any)

Genre: Fluff, hurt/comfort

Author's note: This is originally an idea inspired by @jakesguitarsolo and written for her. I hope you feel better now, dear. One idea spins into me pulling an all nighter...And here it is. This also goes to whoever feels stressed around this time of the year. Yes, things are tough, but you are stronger. I am so proud of you. If you want to talk, feel free to send me an ask or message. This is my first gvf fic and my first time writing anything for threes years. I really enjoyed writing it. I hope you enjoy reading it too.

🎧: I am listening to I Need You Most of All by Stephen Sanchez while writing this (you can tell the title is taken from the lyrics)

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Suddenly everything is too much.

But you know damn well that it doesn’t just happen “suddenly”. In fact, shit has been building up for days, or even weeks. You don’t know if it’s the end-of-year frenzy getting into everyone’s head, Mercury is in retrograde, or the depleted Vitamin D levels due to shortened daylight, you’ve had it particularly rough recently, from small inconveniences like your favourite snack being out of stock at the local grocery store for three consecutive weeks to mishaps like you taking the blame for your impotent coworker. You are exhausted, to say the least; you couldn’t wait for the holidays. Not entirely for its cheer, but for the few precious days off. You just need a break from everything.

Now you are stuck in your company’s holiday party. The annual event that you dreaded the most. It involves too many fake smiles, false-hearted small talk, and tooth-rotting-sweet cupcakes that clearly have too much food colouring. All the mental preparing goes south as you stand in the room, the stabbing pain from your high-heels growing more and more unbearable by the second. Too many people.

“Just another thirty minutes, you can do it. Just another thirty minutes”. You hopelessly glance at the clock on the wall, flashbacking to your childhood self squirming in the seats waiting for math class to end.

But of course, something has to make matters worse. The real straw that breaks the camel’s back is your clumsy coworker accidentally bumping into you and spilling her drink on your shoes.

“Oh my god, I am so so sorry, y/n!” She hastily apologizes in a high-pitched squeal. A few people turn their heads toward your direction.

“No, no, it’s okay, don’t worry about it.” Embarrassment. Embarrassment. Panic. Trouble. You try to wave her off. The shoes aren’t even your top concerns right now; you just want her to stop talking and stop attracting more unwanted attention.

“Really? Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to! It’s just—”

“Please.” You take the handful of tissues from her, look her in the eyes, almost pleading, “It’s fine. Please excuse me, I’ll just go to the washroom real quick.”

Once the washroom door is closed behind you, you feel like collapsing right there on the floor. You wobble your way to the sink, arms propped up on the cold marble surface. You don’t dare to look at yourself in the mirror. Your ears are buzzing and the twisted feeling in your lungs tightens. As if a cold hand is wringing a wet towel inside your stomach, as if someone is shoving your head into cold water, you can't breath properly. You try to draw a breath, but end up sounding like a stranded whale. Before it develops into a full-blown panic attack that you can’t handle, you managed to muster the last bit of your sanity and dial that number with trembling fingers.

Jake picks up on the second ring.

“Hi, love. What’s up? ”

Upon hearing his voice, your tears break free. You are sobbing so hard that you have to bite down on your knuckles to keep the volume down. God forbid any busybody out there overhearing sobbing coming out of the washroom. “Ja—Jake—-”You struggled to form a coherent syllable.

“What’s wrong, y/n? Are you hurt?” His voice immediately grows sterner, stripped of of the previous languidness.

To talk under this state feels like squeezing words out of your veins. “Ca—can—you..come p—pick me up? Company—p-party.” You stutter through gritted teeth.

There is some shuffled noise over the phone, a loud bang sounding like he had bumped into something, a silent “fuck” under his breath, then his voice reaches your ears again: “Coming right now, baby, take a deep breath for me.”

You hear the faint beeping of car keys. More shuffled noise. More beeping. That means he has started the car, right? That means he will be here soon, right? You mind is racing and spinning and your lungs are still acting up, only allow silvers of oxygen into your body. You feel like you are watching the world through a distorted filter. A scarier thought jumps into your brain: you whiny puny thing, continue crying and your panic will affect Jake. The roads are slippery now, and it will be all your fault if he ends up in a car accident.

As if being slapped in the face, you manage to suck in a deep breath like a scuba diver resurfacing to the water: “Drive safe please, please Jake, please—I will wait for you.”

Jake makes a sound that is somewhat between a relieved laugh and a resigned sigh. He knows instantly what’s going on in your overthinking brain; you are worried about him. The thoughtfulness must be engraved in y/n’s brain, he thought, always, always putting others in front of herself, even when she’s having a panic attack. And Jake knows you are correct. It is only upon hearing your words that he realizes how hard he was gripping the steering wheel. He recomposes himself, relaxing his shoulder, “Don’t you worry about me, love. I will stay on the phone if that makes you feel better, yeah? Ain’t nothing gonna happen to me.”

“Knock on wood!” You hiss between sobbing, frantically searching for any wooden material around you. Damn it, why is everything so shiny and glassy?

Jake is amazed that he even lets out a short laugh under the circumstances. Yes, his heart aches hearing his girl being a mess over the phone, and he wishes he could grow wings and fly to her side. But meanwhile, he can't help but find you cute like this. He knocks three times on the mini wooden tissue box that he keeps in the middle console.

“Yes, knock on wood. You hear that, doll?”

“Hmm.” You would honestly believe anything now. Hearing Jake’s voice and imagining him coming to you is like brown noise for babies. Your lungs finally decide to have mercy on you, and you can now somehow draw in shallow breaths albeit the pain in your chest.

Jake is relieved as he sees the green lights shining at the last intersection before turning left onto the side road where your company is located. “I’m here. Can you come down by yourself, love? Or do you want me to get you?”

“I can come down.” You say. The thought of him finding you in a messy pile on the bathroom floor makes you wince, even though he’d probably seen worse.

“Okay baby, see you in a second.”

You don’t remember how you collected your coat and pushed your way through the crowded room without many people noticing. The next moment, your sensations are restored, and you find yourself already in Jake’s arms. He's waiting for you in the area between the automatic glass door and the revolving door outside, a place that is warm with air conditioning but won’t attract nosy people. He wraps you in a hug with his wool jacket. His comforting scent fills your nostrils, a powerful pacifier for your naughty lungs. For the first time this evening, you can finally breathe properly like a normal human being. The rush of fresh air makes you release a loud sob like a newborn baby. The relief of seeing him safely standing in front of you and the release of finally being free from the stressful and stuffy environment ushers more tears to stream down your face.

“Shhhh…..you’re okay now, y/n, safe now. I’m here.” His hand wraps protectively around the back of your head as he plants kisses into your hair. “Poor girl, let’s get to the car and go home.”

Home. Home sounds heavenly to your right now. You couldn’t think of a better combination of these four letters in the whole of human history.

On the way back, you curl into a ball on the passenger seat like a battered puppy. Jake holds your hand whenever he gets the chance, his strong calloused fingers gently massaging yours, tracing the patterns on your palm, his thumb brushing the back of your hand, providing warmth. No longer crying, your shoulders occasionally shudder with involuntary sobs that escape you. But other than that, you are falling into a trance. Your gaze concentrated on Jake’s perfect side profile through hooded eyes, watching in awe as the passing streetlights formed patterns of shadow on his graceful nose and cheeks; your mind numb without a single thought.

It is only when Jake wakes you up that you realize you have fallen asleep. The car is already parked in the garage, the familiar and comforting damp smell seeping in.

“We are home now, sleepyhead.” Jake smiles at you, tapping on your wrist to signal you to wait as he gets out of the car and opens your side of the door. Just as you were about to step off, Jake reaches to cradle you by the shoulders and knees, carrying you bridle-style into the house. You hide your face shyly in the crook of his neck, secretly grateful because your feet are indeed sore in those heels.

Jake puts you down by the shoe rack, motioning you to put your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself as he squats down in front you, holding your ankles and taking off your shoes. If he did see the stains, he didn’t ask any questions, only cooed when he saw the blisters on your heels.

“Let’s go upstairs and get your makeup off, then we’ll cuddle and go to bed, yeah?” Jake stands up, hanging up your coat before cupping your cheeks and placing a kiss on your forehead.

You never hated makeup more than now, regretting to put it on in the first place, now that it has become the annoying barrier lying in your way to bedtime. But Jake says “let’s,” that means he’s going to do it together with you, right?

“Jake?” You whine bashfully.

“Yes, love?”

You tilt up your chin and close your eyes, “One more kissy, please?”

Jake swears he feels a part of his heart melt right there. Who is he to deny you?

“Of course, as many as my princess would like.”

Stepping into the bathroom, Jake sits you on the closed toilet seat. He opens the drawer, grabs your makeup remover and some cotton pads. He applies some liquid onto the wipes and lifts up your chin.

“Close your eyes for me, love.” The cool liquid on your eyelids makes your eyebrows twitch, causing Jake to chuckle, “I know, I know. Just a little longer.”

You sit quietly, mesmerized and hypnotized under his touch. His movements are almost rhythmic. Is this how cats feel when their owners scratches behind their ears? You fear that if you make a sound, you will actually let out a purr.

Jake continues until most of your makeup is gone. “Hold out your hands,” you hear him say and complied. Two dollops of foamy liquid landed in the centre of your palm, and you opened your eyes to recognize they are your face wash. Jake tugs on your wrist, leading you to stand in front of the sink.

“Can you wash your pretty face now, darling? Wash up, and I’ll be back in a minute.”

You nodded, feeling lighter and more relaxed now without your makeup and even more content when you turn on the tap and find out that Jake has already tuned it to a lukewarm temperature for you.

When Jake returned, he was calling you from the bedroom. You have already brushed your teeth and let down your hair.

You walked into the bedroom and are welcomed by the scent of bergamot and sandalwood from your favourite candle glowing on the night stand. Jake was pulling an old T-shirt out from the closet. It was the vintage Joan Jett and The Blackhearts shirt, the patterns half faded, and materials worn-out soft. You saw him laying out one of his boxers for you too. He knows you always prefer them to your own underwear as pyjamas.

“Come sit, angel.” He patted the bench at the foot of the bed, him sitting across from it on a small stool.

It is only when you walked close that you saw the wooden foot spa basin, with clouds of steam rising from it. As you sat down, he gently took your ankle and balanced your feet on the edge of the basin, so that the hot water is steaming your sole.

“It’s still a bit hot.” He looks up to you. “I put Epsom salt and eucalyptus oil in it.”

“Where did you get this?” You feel like the heat from the bottom of the feet is slowly being absorbed into your veins and rising up to your cheeks. You wiggle your toes nervously.

Jake lets out a giggle, “Well, mum suggested once to Josh about the foot spa thing, said it helps with stress and tense muscles. You know, with him running barefoot on stage and all.” He reaches down to sprinkle some water onto your feet, letting you adjust to the temperature. “But Josh got the fancy electric ones. I thought this is better. More authentic, don’t you think?”

“Uh-hmm.”

“Your nails are all chipped,” Jake looks down, “maybe tomorrow we can repaint them? I saw you bought a new colour the other day.”

Tender. So tender. From his tone to his caramel brown eyes. The light from the lamp illuminates the left side of his face, giving it a solemn, smooth glow like a wax statue. Your heart swells; love makes it rise like Soufflé in the oven. The soft surface rises up until it touches your ribcage, threatening to spill those tears again.

“Thank you, Jake.” You dare not raise your voice, fearing that it will break, “I just got a bit overwhelmed at the party, is all.”

Jake eases your feet slowly into the water now that it’s the perfect temperature. The slight sling of your blisters is soon overwhelmed by the all-encompassing warmth that rises all the way to your ankle.

After a few heart beats, he speaks again. “You’ll always have me, y/n. You are allowed to fall, to break. I will be here to catch you, to piece you together. Whatever you need.”

Finally you were snuggled together in bed. You, a human koala, cling to Jake with your face pressed against his chest. His arm snakes around your shoulder, fingers mindlessly tracing your collarbone, strumming some unknown patterns. His heartbeat thumping in your ear, the perfect lullaby. The steady rise and fall of his chest is like waves, rocking you into a sweet slumber. Your eyelids feel heavy like velvet drapes. There’s still a stubborn voice in your brain keeping you from falling asleep. There’s still one more thing you need to do, even though you understood each other perfectly.

“Jake?” Your voice low like a murmur. Jake almost didn’t hear you at first.

“What is it, babe?”

“I love you.” Those words come out as a slur, and like a magic spell, you fall into the deep embrace of sleep as soon as the last syllable leaves your lips. Now clear of any stress and worries in the arms of your lover, the strained string in you brain that has been holding on for dear life the whole evening finally snaps. You’re out like a light.

“I love you back, y/n, through and through.” He whispers into your dream.

You woke up to an empty bed, the sheet on his side still has the human-shaped imprint. Jake is a night owl; it is pretty common that he just gets up in the middle of the night and ends up doing some random things around the house. Most often it’s him strumming the guitar and experimenting with his ideas for new tunes in the home studio downstairs. But you have also caught him fixing chipped paint on the walls, repotting the succulents in the garage, and pouring broth into the crockpot with chicken thighs and smoked ham hock (“so we could have warm chicken chili in the morning!”; to be honest, it’s indeed delicious; you had two bowls and had to skip lunch that day). Just to name a few, so the possibilities are endless.

You get out of bed, creep cross the corridor and tiptoe your way down the stairs. The lights at the doorway are on; you thought Jake forgot to turn them off. However, as you approach, you see Jake squatting down next to the shoe rack, his back towards you, and a brush and some spray bottles laying nearby.

You move closer and see him holding the clothes steamer near your wine-stained shoes. The heels you wore have a suede tip in the front, and unfortunately, that’s where the wine was mostly spilt on. After a few moments, Jake uses the wire brush to clean the surface. He stops from time to time, holding it further to inspect the result.

You waited until he stops again to make some sounds, announcing your presence. Jake immediately turns around. His eyes softens upon seeing you.

“What are you doing up?”

You go to squat down next to him, kissing his temple before resting your head on his shoulder.

“You just bought these not so long ago, yeah? It’d be a shame to leave them stained.” Jake lets more steam soak into the fabric before brushing them again. “I’m almost done. I saw this trick online, and it looks pretty legit.” It’s only then that you noticed his phone on the side, the screen showing the replies from some Reddit post.

“Thank you, baby.” You rub your cheeks slightly on his T-shirt; the feeling of warm pastry once again fills your heart.

“No worries, doll. I think it’s good for now. Let’s leave them here and check in the morning.” Jake starts putting away his tools before pulling you up and wrapping his arm around your waist, leading you back upstairs.

On your way, something familiar catches your eye. You must’ve missed it earlier.

“Wait, where did you get that?” You stop, pointing at what happens to be a whole case of your favourite snack lying on the kitchen counter.

“Oh, I saw the stores are out of them, so I ordered them online. They just arrived today.” Jake scratches his head, his tone tainted with slight disappointment.“I thought they’d be a nice surprise as stocking stuffers, but…”

You stopped him mid-sentence with a kiss.

“I love you.” This time you said it clear against his lips.

“Oh doll, I love you back,” he smiles, showing the cutest wrinkle on his nose. His hands brush your shoulder as you resume your steps upstairs. “Let’s get a few more hours of sleep now. And when you wake up, you will wake up to some yummy pancakes and a pair of stain-free shoes, huh? How does that sound?”

Oh Lord, that sounds heavenly. That sounds just like home.

“I’d like that, Jake. I’d like that very, very much.”

----------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading :) any comments and feedbacks are greatly welcomed and deeply appreciated

(The stain-removing tips comes from malccy72 on reddit :D

If you also feel like reading a smutty (but also fluffy?) piece🤭: Mariner's Complex || Love is a four-legged word || The Lucky Ones

or some Christmas fluff: Ticked (all my boxes)

[lara-cairncross]

Ok I literally just submitted an ask but I am now watching the Pirate FAIRY and I have more questions for you!

First, would we ever see a talent switcheroo for the boys? And if so, who would switch with who??

Secondly, I had a sudden revelation. What if, and hear me out, what if instead of Captain Hook we have Cassandra???? I think she would be super fun in that role!! You could even make her have a REAL turnaround at the end for a full redemption arc! Again, just ideas, fully your au and I just wanted to share my thoughts!

Lastly, I realized that we need a Zarina, and I thought for a while about it. Then it came to me.

What about Kendra? She's a Tinker Fairy too iirc, so she could totally be a dust keeper who likes to experiment and everything from the movie could happen!

Again, just some ideas lol. Thanks for everything you do, I get so excited everytime it crosses my dashboard!! You are so wonderfully skilled and talented!!

HI HI HI ITS YOU AGAIN!!! :DDD this is a very late answer (again) but shhhhhhhh--

I've gotten so many people ask about talent switching!! While I don't think it'll ever be, like, a plot point or anything, I've been doodling little designs of the boys with swapped talents while I'm at work and it's SO MUCH FUN!!! I love swapping their designs around!!!! I definitely wanna do a more finished version at some point, especially since the pirate fairy movie isssss probably my favorite? top 2 at least :D

I'm not sure who would get who's power yet, honestly. There are a few cool things I could try with this concept. I like the idea of Donnie getting the animal talent, since I think it'd be funny for all of these animals to absolutely LOVE him despite the fact that he's not crazy about em. And Leo with the tinker talent would be funny to me purely because he would think it's the lamest thing ever HAH--

oooooo boy Cassandra. holy fuck. I have literally like, three different possible ideas for her that I just CANNOT DECIDE between. And uh I guess I now have four???? FUCK MAN THE IDEA OF HER BEING A PIRATE IS JUST SO COOL-- LIKE SHE WOULD ROCK THAT STYLE OG MY GOD. UH. might draw her as a pirate now even if it doesn't end up being canon AHHHH

and lastly: there IS a Zarina counterpart in this story! it's not a 1:1 ration by any means, but there is a bit of dabbling into pixie dust alchemy and dust-keeping by one fairy in particular...

not sayin' who yet, though :3

(I'll be keeping the kendra idea in mind though, that could solve a plothole or two--)

[journey-to-the-attic]

hello!!

i just finished reading chapter 50 of jtta and oh my gosh. i don’t even know where to start.

jtta is SUCH an amazing work of art that my words fall short.. it’s rlly the best fanfiction i have EVER read and i’m sure it’ll continue to be my Number One forever. your writing style is absolutely beautiful and your choice of words is IMMACULATE. the way you describe certain scenes truly baffles me everytime like,, there’s people out there who are really able to write like this?? they can magically plant a mental imagine w colors and all in my head from??? Words only??? u r so amazing omf

i also have to say that ur work has rlly helped me with expanding my own vocabulary — i had to look up a A LOT of words (though i’m sure i forgot them all by now..) but it was always so fun to learn new stuff!

your mind fascinates me sm bc?? when i was reading some scenes from jtta i rlly thought ‘man.. if i was the author i’d have no idea how to solve this..’ but u managed to surprise me every. single. time. u outdid urself each time and my jaw legit dropped at some scenes bc i could’ve NEVER EVER thought of that,,,

i only discovered jtta last summer bc i was looking for a platonic obey me ff (i can’t see the boys romantically to save my life 😔) and ur writing was rlly the best thing that ever happened to me.

i swear everytime i read another chapter i dived into this World bc ur writing is so????? Perfect??? i cant put it into words

idk how many times i repeated myself by now but i just wanna give u this BIG word of appreciation (even if im struggling w it LOL) for everything. your characterisation of all the characters was always SO on point and the pacing of the chapters always elevated the reading experience and and and i’m just so overwhelmed by the quality of your work 😭🫶

and when i found ur tumblr??? oh i was FLOORED. like. not only r u absolutely GIFTED at writing, ure also good at drawing???11!?1? the writer & illustrator combo is INSANEEEEE

jtta got me all wrapped up in this universe that whenever i went back to read other obey me work or play obey me itself, i got sad bc the newspaper club and ik weren’t there 😭

normally i’m sad about things ending, esp when i indulged in it over a course of time but with jtta all i felt was a warmth (oh and the tears…..) in my body, it rlly couldn’t have ended better!! jtta made me elict all sorts of emotions while reading and it was just such a wonderful experience!

i feel like i just want to say more to u and sing more praises for u and jtta but i’m just at a loss for words,, my mind is COMPLETELY blank :c

writing is definitely your superpower and i’m forever grateful that i found your work!!!!!! T__T <3 can’t wait to see more of your work in the future 🥹💝

i need you to know that i had to look away multiple times consecutively just to compose myself because aAAAggkj

from the bottom of my heart, thank you!! i don't know what else i can say, everything you've said means so much to me! messages like this make everything about creating so worth it, all i can do is thank you twice <33333

[emocl0wnpp]

Final part of introducing my main 4: Jade!!

(Ft. Lots of old drawings bc i don't draw her that much...which is a shame cuz i luv her)

(Also teeny-tiny warning for mentions of suicide)

♤Basic info♤

Real name: unknown,not even she remembers

Current name: Jade

Date of birth: 1900/12/31

Age: y'all won't believe me when i say 124

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: straight(but she's the biggest ally out there-)

Gender: cis(yes she's the token straight oc-)

Nationality: French

Personality: loving,sweet,quite naive,very much motherly...tho she's a little bit of a dummy

♤Death info♤

Date of death: sometime in the late 1950s-early 1960s

Cause of death: unknown,but most people say it was suicide

♤Other infos(so backstory elements)♤

Survived both WW1 and WW2

Her mom was a nurse in both wars,she also helped in WW2 with nursing

But she was actually an actress :3

She also did ballet before she became an actress

She had a bestfriend named Charlotte

Who later on became her biggest enemy(more on this in a second)

She married an actor named Watson(not his full name,but this is all she can recall)

Who later on cheated on her with Charlotte

Jade and Charlotte constantly fought for roles in movies and for the spotlight,which only intensified since Charlotte and Watson were together behind Jade's back

When she found out about the affair,she LOST IT, she SNAPPED

She ended up killing both Charlotte and Watson out of anger,but she immediately regretted it

She somehow managed to get away with the act and lived in guilt for the last years of her life,before dying to unknown causes,again most people think it was suicide

Buut her story doesn't end here

Because many many years later,Jason(the toymaker-) dug her up and made her what she is today

She's basically a frankenstein like porcelain doll

Jason pretty much made her just so he could have a wife-

Her life is a lie,but she doesn't really mind it since it's pretty much all she knows

♤Fun facts♤

THE mom/grandma of her friendgroup

Takes care of her friends,especially Vicky

Vicky is kinda like a daughter to her

Since she's so much older than her friends,they often poke fun at her for being so old

But then she reminds them of their ages and it's no longer funny

Poor old lady had to be taught how to use literally everything around her

Jason taught her how to use a phone

Worst idea ever

Take emojis away from her. She religiously uses them,she uses them more than the phone itself

Her poor daughter,Jenna is embarassed everytime Jade is around(mostly because her friends are all googly eyes for her-)

Literally the sweetest old lady,if she's around prepared to be showered with food and attention

She's still pretty much a typical 50s housewise

Once she learned tech she took up photography and designing clothes as a hobby

And uses her friends,Jenna and her friends as her models

A few of her outfits did make it out to the big big world of fashion

She doesn't actually kill anyone,she just makes clothes from discarded skin that Jason leaves behind at times

And a playlist for her(which needs a remake-)

That's it for now :3

[disastress-i-guess]

Ranking the Psichikers based on drawability instead of doing my homework. By drawability I mean how closely I can draw them to canon design btw. Criteria is:

1. Do I need a reference to draw this character?

If I do not need a reference = +1

Sometimes I need it= 0.5

If I do need a reference = 0

2. Are they fun to draw?

Yes = +1

Some parts are fun = +0.5

Not at all = 0

3. Do I want to draw them often?

ALL THE TIME = +1

Frequently = +0.75

Sometimes = +0.5

Not very much = +0.25

Never I only draw them when I have to = 0

4. Can I be creative with this character?

Yes = +1

Sometimes= 0.5

No = 0

That is four questions! Exactly the number of PSIkickers, what a coincidence! Totally not planned at all!

Ranking begins:

4. Reita Toritsuka (1.75/4)

Sorry tori. I need a reference for his hair pretty much everytime I draw him, which to be fair is so far like 4 times in total. Honestly I have a love-hate relationship with his headband because on the one hand, it's kinda iconic, on the other it's fucking horrendous I'm sorry.

Moving on from the hair, the most fun I have with drawing him would be his uniform (I like the rosary beads and Geta) and his face since he's an expressive character so I get to do a lot of fun stuff with that ( this technically does not count since it's not a part of the design but his points are already kinda low, I felt generous).

Lastly, no, I don't really have many "creative" ideas with him, I had maybe 3 but I never really felt passionate enough to finish them I'm sorry.

2. Mikoto Aiura (2/4)

This feels way too low but I can't really break the rules.

I do need to use references to draw her everytime I do ( which I think is...1 time? That is criminally low what the fuck am I doing) mainly due to her hair, speaking of which, I LOVE HER HAIR I LOVE HER NAILS I LOVE HER EYES I LOVE HER!!!! She is so fun to draw and it's so fucking nice to have a character with some fucking MELANIN OMG HER SKIN I AJDBDJ SHADING TANNED/DARK SKIN IS SO FUN WHY DONT I DO IT MORE OFTEN. This doesn't count since it's supposed to be about their canon design but there are so many outfits you can put her in it's crazy!!! I think it's mainly because she's kinda the only one with an aesthetic idk.

I WANNA DRAW HER ALL THE TIME I JUST DONT FOR SOME REASON WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!??? Off topic I do not draw any of the female characters that often even though I regularly lose my mind thinking about them what's up with that?

Do I get to be creative with her? Not really but that's not her fault that's on me, she's perf I'm just uncreative that's all.

So sadly this is her rank. ATM anyway I'll draw her so often after this trust.

2. Saiki Kusuo (2/4)

He scored 0.5 on everything... How!??? Last I checked he is not Satoru Hiroshi.

Main reason I need a reference is due to the hair which for the most part is a bunch of zig zags and so I don't need it that often.

He is fun to draw, mainly his eyes they are very pretty. I do want to draw him often, I doodle him a lot. I think it's the limiters and glasses. I don't have to worry about him looking accurate cuz if you throw the limiters and glasses on it immediately looks like saiki so Im not that scared about drawing him.

Fun fact a lot of times when I'm drawing him he ends up looking like Kuboyasu. Until I put limiters on. Then all of a sudden it's saiki! Amazing! Chouno Uryoku who?

I guess I'm somewhat creative with him? I have a few ideas laying around, one or two animatics, maybe a fic and a couple crossover fanart ideas. Dunno if I'll ever get around to doing it though.

1. Akechi Touma (3/4)

I SO BADLY WANNA GIVE HIM A 4/4 MAN.

No I do not need a reference I drew him once and then his hair and face were ingrained into my long term memory for eternity in fact i remember it so well I subconsciously gave it to an OC.

Is he fun to draw? FUCK YEAH HE IS. Hair was the problem for all the other characters but not this one, no sir! because THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS THE HAIR THAT GIVES ME GENDER EUPHORIA. It was my first 'boy' hair cut and I love how androgynous it made me look so looking at him gives me pure joy. And his eyes GOD I LOVE HIS BIG PURPLE EYES SJDIEBD.

I used to want to draw him all the time but I've drawn him too frequently so I need to take a small (miniscule really) break so I can continue liking it. Maybe that'll give me time to draw more Aiura. Anyways I gave him 0.75 on that part but that's entirely my fault for over drawing him. He did no wrong I take the blame.

Can I be creative with him? No not really since just drawing him covered in blood and/or eating sweets does not count as creative in this criteria. But I do have many ideas of just putting him in other universes and meeting my other favs and then the two of them ramble about an interest of choice and are just get to talk talk talk and talk I love them I love their yapping onjdhdiehd and I have a couple of animatic ideas I may never finish. GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE HAS A 4/4 IN MY HEART.

Oh god it's 1:22 am I should finish this homework.

[deathdetermineslife]

Hehe hello :3

💍, 🫧, and 🪼 for the ask game, if these weren't answered yet?

- @puppeteeredheart

IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE! TURN IT UP!

(also 🪼 was answered here)

💍

in my head we are married. so married. we don't wear matching rings though. he keeps a picture of me in (what I choose to believe is) his locket. will attach picture below ↓. I'm a big necklace and locket person and me personally I would keep a lock of his hair in it. not a lot, just a small enough piece to keep inside a trinket I'll wear!

some people think it's a clock? I like that idea also but I love the idea of a locket more.

🫧

OKAY SO I HAVE A LONG LIST AND WILL OFFER MANY AN EXPLANATION FOR EACH (some of these only make sense in my head but that's okay) ((also, warning for mentions of kiyos backstory, which include referenced csa))

cherry waves by deftones - I said I'd offer an explanation for each of these but I honestly only feel this way bc of vibes

old friend by mitski - something about the lyric "I haven't told anyone, have you?" reminds me way too much of his backstory and it devastates me daily

please just stay dead by nicole dollanganger - a backstory thing again. "this time please just stay dead/and I guess I can't blame you, but I hate you all the same"

13 angels standing guard round the side of your bed by silver mt. zion - haunting. I don't have a better explanation

hard times by ethel cain - backstory, again. I actually made an art piece inspired by this for his birthday last year! it's on my main!

helena by my chemical romance (specifically the nicole dollanganger cover) - vibes. hes very,,, "death coded" character. so the imagery of hearses and death fits him.

gommene gommene by kikuo - self explanatory. fun fact, right after I finished trial three for the first time, I hit shuffle on my Spotify to have a good cry and this song came on. I haven't recovered from that.

alligator blood by nicole dollanganger - vibes. also, "grow up weak or grow up tough"

family tree by ethel cain - I have an illustration cookin up in my brain I wanna draw for this...

first love/late spring by mitski - I had a dream like three years ago about him and this song was playing in the background.

sweet dreams are made of this by marilyn manson - vibes. and like, disturbingish dark alternative music reminds me of him

iowa by slipknot - same as before

pet by a perfect circle - ↑ (also this song just fucks so hard)

bernadette by iamx - do you see the vision. do you see it. do you see the vision please—

insomnia by iamx - the lyric "oh my god, you're beautiful" did something to me when 10 year old me heard it for the first time then eventually I found Kiyo and thought "no so actually this is so him"

motion sickness by phoebe bridgers - I found this song in 2021 when someone made a post "no but this is his song" on TikTok and I agree whole heatedly everytime I go to cry to it I end up crying harder bc it's actually just so him it hurts </3 "I hate you for what you did, but I miss you like a little kid"

who is she? by I monster - back story. it's such a hauntingly beautiful song too. it fits him perfectly. "a misty memory, a haunting face. is she a lost embrace? I call her name, across an endless plane. shell answer me, wherever she may be."

heroin by badflower - same reason as last one. hauntingly beautiful. it's a beautiful song and it needs more recognition. "now she's in me, and I can't let her go" (I mean her spirit is literally inside this man like, hello)

I can't decide by scissor sisters - y'all remember when this was big in the fnaf fandom? yea same reason.

after dark by mr kitty - my ex like, fourish years ago told me this reminded her of Kiyo and I haven't let that go

I love you by HIM - vibes. fucks so hard, fantastic song

heaven tonight by HIM - same reason ↑

televangelism by ethel cain - made kiyo art inspired by this. I'll link it here, it's probably my favorite Kiyo art ever (ignore the hard times quote)

august underground by ethel cain - deep foreboding tragic instrumental. also made art for this.

hate me! by leæther strip (specifically the funker vogt remix) - vibes again. the beat, mostly.

the mind electric by miracle musical - reminds me of his trial

evelyn evelyn by evelyn evelyn - self explanatory

rule #4 by fish in a birdcage - I can't explain this one it just does

we will commit wolf murder by of montreal - same thing. just reminds me of him. no reason.

you are the moon by the hush sound - just a sweet and lovely song that makes me think of him. "you will see your beauty in every moment that you rise"

life fades to a funeral by carnifex - dark instrumental, also the title

summit song by nicole dollanganger - ↑ another instrumental

memoir #2 [06.12.09] by maria pseftoga - sad creepy instrumental

all of these songs are very good and I recommend all of them. also there's tons more but I have Kiyo art I wanna make and don't wanna spend all my time on this teehee

[sweetmariihs2]

Everytime something bad happens to me I feel the immediate need to vent, to talk, to speek up, but I don't like to share my stuff in social media and I think I will sound stupid doing so

there almost isn't any day where I get to be 100% well from the start to the end, I will always have a moment where something (most of the times stupid) makes me feel upset for 3 hours straight

Guess what I found out? Criticism, mean comments or any bad interaction turns out to feel so much worse for autistic people. We get upset for hours indeed just because a teacher called us out for not payinh attention. I always been like this but I never knew why

At the moment I want to talk about so many stuff, but at the same time I don't. I think that this feeling is eating me from inside, wanting to vent but not being able to.

The first thing I wanted to say is HAVING A PRESENT ABSENT FATHER IS TERRIBLE. He's there except for the fact that he's not. Or better saying, don't behave one. Sometimes I wonder if I would get sad less often if he wasn't so present. He always have criticism about everything I do all the time. "Dad I'm so excited to watch Coraline back in cinemas! Wanna go with me?" "That movie is so boring. It's so bad, why do you like to watch this stuff. If you want to watch it just watch at home" to worse

he's so rude to me for no reason. I was drawing and he wanted to go home, I said I was almost finishing it (I really was, it would be done in 5 mins) and he said "he knew me and he knew I would take an eternity" and that he would go home by car and leave me instead of waiting. Alone, at night, out of home (I'm a 19 yo girl)

He actually caused me to make some mistakes in the drawing. For context: I've been struggling with my art for a long time. I've been hating everything I draw and recently, 2 days ago, I did a perfect drawing, one that I haven't felt so proud about in months or even years. Today I was going to do the lineart in a public event because I was standing still for so long and decided to do something productive. It's actually recorded because I wanted to do a speed art. He started to pressure me to go home when I just asked "please! please just wait! I will finish just now!" (I'm extremely anxious) and that's when he started to be extra mean to me (not like he wasn't before)

I actually have this recoded. It's in portuguese so it doesn't matter. But you get what I mean? Then in the car I started to vent about the fact that my mom was at a friend's birthday party and that I would like to go but I don't think she would want me with her friends, and I started to talk about the other time where I was sitting with her and her friends for some hours and she literally asked me to get out because she would like to be relaxed around her friends (I didn't had any idea, I found out that it's because of the problem with the social cues). My dad just interrupted me saying "OK BUT YOU WANT TO GO OR NOT?" and I said "calm down, don't interrupt I'm just talking to you about something" and he interrupted again "BUT YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME AN ANSWER! I CAN'T GO HOME IF YOU DON'T ANSWER ME ANYTHING" but I said "i answered just when we got in the car, i'm just talking to you about something that made me feel bad and you interrupted me" and he *stopped the car* to say "THEN FINISH YOUR SENTENCE NOW. WHAT IS IT HUH? I NEED TO STOP EVERYTHING TO LISTEN TO YOU"

i have no idea of how he turned this into a fight, he started talking loudly (not yet shouting) on top of everything I said instead of letting me talk and I didn't even do anything to him. I just explained that I was upset because he interrupted me while I was talking about something personal (I should have remembered to say that he spoke to me rudely but I was so anxious and nervous at answering faster that I couldn't think of it) and he started to say FOR NO REASON "it's ok, I don't need you to like me. I don't need anyone to like me. I'm a terrible dad, i know that you hate me, I tried to be good but it seems like I just can't have a good relationship with you" and at this moments he was pressing me so much and running in circles in the conversation and it made no sense, that I just said "If no one likes you, unfortunately I have the terrible need to tell you that it's probably not their fault, it's someone else's"

He does things that I absolutely despise in a conflict:

- interruption

- screaming

- saying things just to argue instead of talking about the reason itself

- he's not direct (shit i'm autistic)

Me 🤝 Cedric

bad dad

[hwanghyunjinenthusiast]

Priest in training Hyunjin who can’t help but stare at you during mass bc the rays of sun coming through the stained glass hit you just right as if you were a revelation.

Priest in training Hyunjin who blushes everytime you come get your host and when he softly draws a cross on your forehead with his thumb as you look up at him.

Priest in training Hyunjin who prays for you every night to keep you protected.

Priest in training Hyunjin who also prays every night for clarity bc he’s never felt this way. Who recites three extra Hail Marys bc he feels guilty about how many times he thought about how warm your skin would be during the day.

Priest in training Hyunjin who feels himself get hard and his heart tighten when he practices giving confessionals and you tell him "brother Hyunjin I’ve been having impure thoughts about a boy I like" "Oh?"

Priest in training Hyunjin who feels elated when you volunteer at the presbytery and gets to spend more time with you.

Priest in training Hyunjin who gives you his favorite rosary for you to keep (and remember him by, even though he won’t admit it bc it’s a selfish thought).

Priest in training Hyunjin who starts to think that there’s no way loving and coming to the thought of someone as angelic and kind as you could be a sin.

Priest in training Hyunjin who starts to think that if God made us all in His image, why can’t he worship you? Tenderly kiss the sole of your feet? Kneel before you?

Priest in training Hyunjin who feels like he could die on the spot when you tell him how pretty he is. Even worse the one time you asked him if he were an actual angel.

Priest in training Hyunjin who doesn’t move an inch when you bravely decide to tuck a strand of his hair behind his ear. Who turns into a literal statue when you start tracing his features with your fingertips ; his brows, the bridge of his nose, his cupid’s bow, his plump lips…

Priest in training Hyunjin whose brain turns into mush and instinctively closes his eyes and takes your finger in his mouth and sucks on it as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Whose heart grows three sizes when you softly kisses his eyelids.

Priest in training Hyunjin who can feel his heart breaking when you come to him one day crying, apologizing for being such a temptation to him. The more he is with you, the more he realizes that God did give him clarity after all those prayers. You’re not temptation, you’re a gift.

Priest in training Hyunjin who keeps in a picture of you in his locket. His crucifix above his robe, and the most prized piece of jewelry beneath his undershirt, for no one to see.

Priest in training Hyunjin who comes in his boxers along with you when you end up dry humping passionately in his room. If you’re both fully clothed, it doesn’t count, right?

Priest in training Hyunjin who finally sees the light when he gets to be inside you for the first time. Whispering and breathing his thank yous in latin in your open, panting mouth. In your pretty, tight, warm, sopping wet core. You are not sinners, this is love in its purest form.

.....Anon, how am I supposed to be normal about this? I don't want to add Priest! Hyunjin to my 7 million fic ideas but, god, this is really making me reconsider. Strongly so.

The soft corruption in all of this? Fucking crazy. Insane. Also, I don't know if you write on here or in general but, the way you wrote this is so 🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾

I saw a post a long time ago and I'm probably going to butcher it but, it said something along the lines of a priest kink and corruption in the sense that you corrupt someone into worshipping you. Into seeing you as something divine and, this made me think of that post so hard.

[cryptidcasanova]

OMG HI! I love your Eddie Hellfire Haunts so far! They are so beautifully written. Everytime I read them I wish you could make a series!

May I request a Witch!Nancy with the prompt of "Magic comes at a price" in headcanon format (but you may also do it as a full pick, just in case you have a lot of other requests)

Thank you! Happy Haunting!

I'm so glad you're enjoyoing Hellfire Haunts!

And absolutely! I'm so used to writing fics that I don't know if I've ever done a headcannon before. But I love this idea so much!

Practical Magic

Soft Witch!Nancy Wheeler x GN Reader

Nancy didn't realize just how far she would push against her nuclear family's upbringing. She didn't know when it started, but she felt different ever since she tumbled into the upside down for the first time. After the Demogorgon attacked that deer, she changed.

Sometimes, she could sense things. Not the same way El could, but she could feel the energy in the room. She could see people differently, discerning their intentions.

That's what led her to the newspaper and journalism. She thought she'd be happy there, but it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. There were too many crooked reporters out there.

She took up keeping a little garden in her parent's backyard. Her dad applauded her humble, quiet hobby. Her mom watched on, confused at first. Nancy never liked to dig in the dirt. But as her flowers and herbs took root, Nancy's happiness was eerily familiar to her mom. She felt that way at about that age, and so did her own mother. Maybe it ran in the family, but the upside-down tapped into something much more potent.

The sight.

Neither inherently good nor bad, Nancy had to find her own path. Her mom tried to offer what little insight she had, but Karen had pushed out those reckless, childish thoughts when she met Ted. And then on, her family was her life.

Nancy didn't understand it. It wasn't like she could turn it on or off. Her abilities weren't quite like El's, but something else. She couldn't help it sometimes.

She could create joy with a smile or spread a current of tension through the room with a wilting stare. Mike was usually on the receiving end of them.

She spent her nights in the garden, watching the moon disappear behind the clouds. Sometimes, Nancy thought she could hear windchimes on the back porch. It was like something was calling out to her, and she didn't know how to call back. She was antsy trying to understand it.

Nancy started to bake with her mom, including ingredients from her garden. The baked goods started to leave a lingering effect. Whatever Nancy was doing to draw in every grandma and housewife of Hawkins to their front door was beyond her.

She helped El and Max get ready for homecoming one year, and by the end of the night, Mike and Lucas weren't the only ones fawning over them.

Nancy had this gentle but powerful ability. She just didn't know what to do with it.

But she felt like a growing fish in a little bowl. She wanted to see what was beyond the outskirts of Hawkins. She wanted to learn more, to see more.

She found what she was looking for in a little shop on the outskirts of Indianapolis. A secluded shop called to her with its soothing energy. It was inviting. She felt a tug in her heart to go in.

It was a metaphysical shop. It was soft and comforting, but there was something more. 

When you heard the bell ring, you looked at her with a careful expression. One look at her, and you knew. Nancy was green and curious while looking at the old books, tomes, recipes, and ingredients. Her eyes were practically glowing with excitement.

"I think I have just the thing for you." You called out to her, extending a hand to her. "But magic comes at a price. Are you ready?"

She took your hand and didn't look back. She'd be ready the next time something crazy happened in Hawkins or anywhere else.

[goggles-mcgee]

i used to like u but whyre u still into hp? jkr’s transphobia and racism are so bad in those books

There are many problems with the books, movies, etc and the person who wrote them I will never and don't deny that.

I don't know why you felt the need to tell me you used to like me. That just...you could have simply asked the question without trying to put me down. I'm not buying the new game, I don't buy any kind of memorabilia, I don't but new books, I didn't go to see the new movies...I don't support JK Rowling. I don't support putting money in her pockets.

If you have or did follow me, then I would think you would see I'm no stranger to critiquing things or just plain pointing out things that I hate or that annoy me in a media I am consuming. I legit write salt because of how mad shows have mad me because I wanted things to go different or because I thought some things could have been handled much better.

HP is not different.

I like to come up with funny little ideas for it, maybe even in the future angst or something like a rewrite. Why? Because I hate what became of it and the author herself.

Me writing little ideas is not benefiting JKR in anyway. Those who write HP fanfic or draw HP fanart don't do it because they support JKR, they do it for the media they fell in love with once upon a time and many acknowledge they don't support JKR. Some even do so in a defiant nature against JKR.

HP was something I loved in my childhood but I did grow and acknowledge all it's faults as I did. Growing is sometimes learning and acknowledging mistakes or wrongs. JKR will never do this but guess what? Past fans have, but instead of burying a past love in shame many take to pointing out the wrongs and mistakes with their fics or their redesigns. To make it better.

I'm not going to hide being into what HP could have been/should have been. Because overall I'm just a fan of what other fans did with it. I don't want to feel shame about it but others really want me to feel ashamed.

The fact is I do feel shame. I feel shame for the little me who was so in love with the HP world that I never saw the wrongs until I grew up. I feel shame for all the gifts I got that were HP themed, I feel shame for the books I was given despite being only 10. I feel shame for things that were beyond my control because there are people who love to shove the old love fans of HP have in their faces despite repeated attempts to tell them we do not support JKR.

I could go on and on about me being LGBTQ+, I could go on about family members and friends being LGBTQ+ who are just like me and feel that shame, who hat JKR, etc.

But really I'm just going to end this ask with everyone needs to just stop this shaming. Everytime someone posts HP fanart they don't need someone in their comments shouting at them about why they would do such a thing. Everytime someone makes a fic they shouldn't be waring with themself if they should or shouldn't because they fear the reactions. The fans do not reflect the author.

There are so many fandoms out there that the media they are part of are problematic or the creator is and yet they aren't as heavily shamed, and I get it, HP is much bigger than a lot of them but it's still not right to attack the fans.

I know you're not attacking me. I know that. But it still doesn't feel nice to be told you used to be liked before someone even asked yo uyour opinion on something. It hurts when someone assumes.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to make you feel bad, you simply asked a question but I've gotten a lot more negative anon asks about this directed towards me and this way the most...polite and I felt it was the best to say my peace with all this.

[likesaly]

Source Mem Dump from IRL Misane 2

Ask and you shall receive!

I had to babysit Merue and Nomare, Nanase wanted no part in babysitting Nomare because he's a little shit. He played with Merue alot!

Nomare got banned from the theme park and the elevator (my guy had to use the fire exit stairs since Teruhi didn't want to deal with constantly fixing the elavator:

Getting stuck in the elevator quotes - *after nomare jumped* "NOMARE,,," -Sataka "what did you do now??" -Me "i got banned from the theme park >:(" -Nomare "PFFFTT- L IMAGINE BEING TOO SHORT TO RIDE THE RIDES ANNDDD GET BANNED??" -Me "Be nice Misane,," -Ashley "No." -Me "How do you even get banned from a theme park?" -Namoto "im not gonna tellllllll" -Nomare "Okay guys- uh- we're gonna be stuck-" -Nanase "atleast ill have a news article to write about again- but what do we do??" -Arumu "spam call Teruhi." -Nomare "No." -Nanase "Spam call Teruhi!" "Good idea Misane-chan!" -Nanase "HEY-" -Nomare

Sataka bought an uno game at the theme park so Me, Arumu, Nanase and the file 02 cast gathered around in a circle in the garden and played uno - It turned into a screaming match needless to say:

*Sataka using hand sanitizer right after placing a card down bc he was first to go* "Didn't you literally buy the game??" -Arumu "That's not important Arumu! but are we not going to talk about on how Sataka just washed his mf gloves w hand sanitizer" -Nomare "Hey listen you never know!" -Sataka "I don't even want to think Abt what the hell you just did man, it scares me." -Me (I had gloves in source)

"I DONT HAVE A YELLOW OR A 5" -Ashley *Drawing cards* "I NOW HAVE 20 MORE CARDS AND STILL NOTHING TO PLACE WHAT IS THIS WHO SHUFFLED THIS-" -Ashley *Draws again* "Finally! wild card- colors now red" -Ashley "Reverse :3" -Me "MISANE-CHAN. 😭" -Ashley *drawing card" "NOT THIS AGAIN" -Ashley

"I'm sorry Nanase" -me placing down draw 4 card *Nanase placing draw 4 and we're playing stack* *Namato also placing a draw 4 card down* "I HATE ALL OF YOU." -Nomare

Nomare ended up w 50 cards at the end of that round /lh

"UNO!" -Namoto "HOW DID YOU GET SO LUCKY AND ONLY HAD REVERSES, STACKE AND WILDS WHAT THE HELL" -Arumu

"So sorry Nomare better luck next time" -Me "This is why I hate stack" -Nomare

"Im not even bothering counting how many cards ygs left me w" -Nomare "50." -Nanase "DAMN THAT WAS FAST. I can make use of this. Now help me with my math homework sir, what's 5 x 5" -Nomare "How are you ten and don't know your goddamn 5 times tables" -Nanase"

"Nanase everyone hates math name one person who likes math" -Me "Definitely not me" -Nanase "Exactly" -Me

"How do you manage to get 50 cards in uno I'm sure there's like one card you could've played??" -Shinobu (He wasnt playing with us so he just chimed in by this point) "YOU PLAY UNO WITH THESE MFS YOU GO TO STACK HELL" -Nomare pointing at me arumu, nanase and the BSS Trio *Everyone laughing*

I'm pretty sure everytime me Nanase, Arumu and the BSS Trio all came together and gathered around the garden we gave Shinobu a headache and to that I say it's 100 percent deserved; Nomare join in sometimes but nobody wanted to deal with him bc we were all annoyed w his shenanigans /lh

[nerice]

oc ask meme! 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, and 47!

*rolls up my sleeves all the fucking way* let me introduce u to so many freaks. also linking my oc page again here not everyone's on there but for refrance!!!! this got long so im actually using the humble readmore function for once but im gonna showcase one answer up here and that is:

has anyone drawn fanart of your ocs? if yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

i love all the art you n charlotte have drawn but this pic you did of reina. man (i cry everytime i look at it, she's SO BEAUTIFUL here you got her down better than i have ever drawn her <33333)

first oc ever: a young girl who gets her throat taken out by a big cat at a circus performance; who is now a young boy called honey who gets his throat taken out by kizuna while he wanders the swamplands searching for his brother! :D

personal favourite oc: absolutely without any doubt or competition whatsoever this goes to sky lmao. rabbit daughter of my life <33333

have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else? nope! all organically grown ocs in my brain tbh i find the practice of adoptables etc a little weird but that's just bc it, for me personally, conceptually, just does not work at all lmao

if you could make only one of your ocs popular/known, who would it be? nightmare scenario that guarantees callout posts tbh but after reading a billion articles on traditional female villains for my thesis i am slightly tempted to blaze knowledge abt faye lmao. high femme lesbian villain (power armor notwithstanding) we need more of em <3

are your ocs part of any story or stories? only have story ocs!! if i think up a guy he comes pre-equipped with problems which i will somehow slot into the grander verse, i don't make the rules

sunshine oc: alissa!!!! tragic girl who dies too young but before then is the absolute light in the life of everyone she touches ;_; there is one au where she lives and aims to use the lifesong to help more people, in the process of which she becomes eliada's sworn enemy & also possibly romances damia. long story

troublemaker ocs: handsdown linn wins this category lol. always up to no good, a nsfw criminal menace <3

oc otp: YOU KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT IS JUMIE/REINA. thank you for drawing them make out it gives me life <33333

introduce an oc that means a lot to you (and explain why): gestures at reina. gestures at sky. gestures harder *camera pans over i am now on the floor sobbing* yknow?

introduce oc that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like: jumie used to be very mellow and leaned most strongly into the caretaking persona (it still comes out with sky a lot ;_;) but when i actually got around to writing her boy. oh boy. takes no shit and vibe checks every single person she comes across (for better or for worse) lawful good paladin behavior

which one of your ocs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going? leah!!! unfortunate tendency to disappear on people bc of whatever piqued her interest & also knows no fear/loves freaky and spooky stuff. noah, her scaredy-dragon bodyguard, is as exasperated as he is close to a heart attack at all times

pick one oc of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really) cait, avery, and jumie wld all run weapon aes focused blogs (swords, knives, spears&bows respectively) and would probably end up sending each other hatemail over their weapon preferences lmao

introduce an oc who is not quite human: kizuna!!! typical choice here lol but. fun-sized (bear shaped) omnivorous murder bunny who can shapeshift into the people she devours. has a little identity crisis from it eventually, its ok

do you have any certain type when you create your ocs? do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? it’s time to confess: i dont set out to create ocs so much as they just show up unasked on the doorstep of my brain but i absolutely love 2 give ocs a truckload of extremely visible scars (and some hidden ones for funsies) face scars are one of the greatest honors i can bestow <3

has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your ocs as their child? various yeah most frequently adopted are leah (statistical daughter of all time) and belle+sky for trauma reasons lmao

[iknaenmal]

Got tagged by @nintendont2502 :]

Hot or cold shower - hot because if I step into something just a little bit colder than the place I was before I will automatically freeze 😔

Texting or calling - TEXTING OF COURSE I'm so awkward when I have to talk to someone oughg

Earbuds or headphones - headphones yeaaahhh!!!! I dont like earbuds because they hurt my poor little ears most of the time :| I got some which didn't, so I use them because I can't bring my headphones around sadly

Paperback or hardcover - i loooove hardcover books SO MUCH they're so cool and also they don't fold and break!!! I hate it when a book's paperback folds

Matte or gel - I literally have no idea what these mean

Twelve hour of twenty four hour clock - Twelve hour! It's more intuitive I think and I don't have to do maths everytime I look at it :] Oh yeah but only if the clock tells you if it's pm or am because otherwise it gets confusing

Sci fi or horror - sci fi because I never watched a horror movie iirc (my sister won't let me because she has nightmares) and also because my dad loves them and I watched so many Sci fi movies with him they grew on me

Blue or green - OUHG. okay I love green, especially light green. I mean there's nothing wrong with dark green I just generally prefer light tones for some reason. But blue has got SO MANY great and awesome shades oughgh I love blue too so I'm going to choose that one

Sunsets or sunrises - I think ive watched so many sunrises theyre not so cool anymore. I mean they're still really cool!! When going to school I see it sometimes and I always go "OOOOHH" but idk. Also sunstets' colors are prettier I think :0

Tulips or orchids - OOH I LOVE ORCHIDS ! ! they have really fun shapes and colors and they're very pretty I think!!! Tulips are great too but they dont have shapes as fun as the orchids imo

Candlelight or moonlight - Candlelights because theyre very warm and very pretty and they have kind of orange light and im the number one fan of orange, warm lights :DD

Pen or pencil - PENCIL I hate writing + drawing with pen >:| I can't erase stuff and it's hard and it also makes my handwriting even worse when I use a pen !!! Sadly we have to use pens at school and if we use pencils in exams that's an automatic fail so I need to get used to them asap

Pandas or koalas - I know they're overrated but 😔 I love pandas they're like bears in pajamas ouuhghg I love koalas though!!! Theyre very cute :]]

Gold or silver: silver is very very pretty yeahh!!! Even the name is pretty wow...... I love using silver crayons and stuff it gets shiny but not TOO shiny and that is important I think

Sneakers or boots - boots are really cool and warm but I never use anything that are not sneakers ! I just have a single pair of them every time so I just use them until they're torn apart ahahaah..

Denim or leather jacket - neither 😐

Pink or purple - OKAY I love pink its a very great color I think and it's also REALLY fun to work with but ooooh purple my beloved <3 it might actually be one of my fave colors

Chocolate or sour candy - OH im a chocolate lover

Drive in cinema or theatre - I've never been to a drive in cinema and it honestly seems so cool but! I love threatres theyre great and I love watching things in a huge screen yeahh :D

Deodorant or perfume - I HATE PERFUMES OUGH OUGH OUGH perfumes go away leave me alone

Pastel blue or earth tones - godd this ones hard ! As I said before I looove blue !!!! But earth tones are SO great and cool I love them a lot oooh

Lemonade or fruit juice - HELL YEAH FRUIT JUICE LOVERS RISE !!! I love fruit juice........ except orange juice. But I might be choosing this option partly because the last time I had lemonade was when i was like. Five or something so i don't remember how it tastes :p

Past or future - I'm not too sure what it means, I might just mean where you'd prefer to time travel but either way I'd choose future so yeah ! Like, I wouldn't go back to the past and live there, because it would end up being repetitive and the future would be more unexpected! Maybe what happens in the future is worse than what happened in the past, but you can't know that because you don't know what will happen, whereas in the past you know. And about time travel, I wouldn't go back to the past because im 100% sure I'd end up fucking the timeline up 😔

Aaaaand idk how many people I have to tag but here are some :]

@kindledrose @lemonylimetime @potatoisanartist @eowynnsstuffnthings @selenesaysstuff !! (You can just not do it if you don't want to ofc :]])

[rockermazy]

As a sometimes-artist, I kinda wish AI hadn't become demonized. I want good poses for bases and human artists scare me shitless. I remember back in 2003, a community on DeviantArt tore up someone because they had copied a unique pose from another artist. It was not traced. It wasn't the characters. It was just a POSE. The "original" artist had to acknowledge in their deviation's description that the two knew each other, in order to quell the rage. Like, wtf? Reading that shit soft-scarred me in my teens. I'm not saying every artist is like that. Just... some? Like, people forget how much of humanity's art history is derivative. Hell, there are only so many ways human anatomy can bend without looking like jumped off a cliff and didn't survive. Now that the internet has pushed everyone's desks together like some cursed class project, where marks are only given if you're the first and only one, I now have irrational fears of being stolen from and being accused of theft if I see something cool. Like, everytime I look at a real artist's art, I'm like, "hey, that would be a cool to try!" And then I'm like, "maybe I should wait, or someone would say I'm not creative. I'd better u.u" When someone says "support human artists", "people gotta eat" I'm like yeah, you have rules for how your art can be used, too. I'm afraid I'm gonna end up like that 13-year-old that was kidnapped, found, followed police orders and was shot-dead because a cop was trigger-happy. I know I'm overreacting. I know I'm making excuses. But like, what are safe places to be inspired from? Using real-life photos when drawing a cartoon anatomy and clothing doesn't work for me because I don't know what to focus on w/o adding too much detail. Maybe I'm just making up excuses for not starting. Granted, there are much better tutorials now, than there were like, a 20 years ago online. I have less of an excuse now than I do then. Hell, as long as IMVU's creators don't catch the art drama-bug, I should be able to use their outfits+poses feature to cover the "need for bases" problem. But like, the idea of seeing something beautiful but parentless and saying, "Hey, I can build upon this", is always alluring. A wise man once said "The height of originality is skill in concealing origins". (I would attribute this to someone specific but the origin has been concealed with time.) So I'm just gonna stare at stuff and bang my head really hard at stuff until something looks cool. Just avoid eye contact with humans to avoid suspicion. Hell, maybe even avoid human artwork in general. Avoiding echo chambers. Maybe go outside and touch grass. Hydrate maybe... ...Go to the post office like I said I would... Oh god, its 2 pm and I haven't eaten anything substantial other than a cup of almonds and a mini cinnamon roll, wtf am I writi- Um... AI bad. People use it to make non-con porn and shit. Not a fan.