#I have so many complicated feelings about Hide and how his character is written I have no idea where to even begin lmao

[bohoteacher]

Navigating Betrayal: Reconciling Admiration with Disillusionment

Like many Neil Gaiman fans this month, I've been shocked and distressed by the news regarding the SA allegations. I won't go over the details, as they're readily available online. I'll start by saying that I believe the accusers, and even the most lenient interpretation of events is still troubling enough to discredit Gaiman. For a long time, I didn't know what to say. I was just shocked and, somewhat naively, felt betrayed. I don't typically idolize actors, authors, or other public figures—I'm here for the characters, they're who I love and believe in. So, how did I end up believing in this man and his rhetoric?

I only had a parasocial relationship with him, which is to say no real relationship at all. But I took his Masterclass on writing, spent hours taking notes, and learned from him. I feel betrayed by someone I saw as a beloved teacher. I know this is insignificant compared to what the women who came forward experienced, but it's a valid feeling, and I needed time to process it. My initial reaction was to throw out and discount everything he’s ever written or done—of course it was.

This isn't just about my love for Good Omens, although how can it not be? I learned so much from this man—about writing, about not being too hard on myself, about the creative process. I read his books to my middle school classes, and we all learned how to be better people from them. Today, I saw and bought Instructions, a children’s book by Neil Gaiman illustrated by Charles Vess, from the used bookstore where I volunteer. It was a used copy, so no royalties will go to him. It’s a beautifully illustrated book where the main character walks through a land that clearly symbolizes life, learning lessons like saying please and "if any creature cries to you that it hurts, if you can, ease its pain." How could someone write this and then do what he did? I asked myself. "What an evil hypocrite," was my first thought. But then I recalled a line from another author, Stephen King. In The Stand, a character is described as "awake at the lectern, but asleep at the switch," meaning they know the right thing to do and can talk about it, but in the moment of choice, they act without integrity.

I don’t know if I’m making sense, but I think it’s too easy to label Gaiman as simply evil, as if he intentionally manipulated us by saying the right things just to make us read or watch his creations. The reality is likely far more complicated. Within this man is the amazing, thought-provoking, life-affirming wisdom that many of us have tried to live by, but also the hard, thoughtless, selfish cruelty that led him to abuse young, vulnerable women. The wisdom does not justify the abuse, and the abuse does not nullify the wisdom.

I think it's too simplistic to say Gaiman is despicable and always has been, hiding it from us all along. This doesn't acknowledge the complexity of human nature—that there is potential for both good and bad within us all. As it’s said, possibly by Terry Pratchett or possibly by Neil Gaiman, “It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.”

Gaiman is a man who has done some fundamentally good things and some fundamentally bad things. I can’t forget either one.

This is just my opinion. I know some people want to cancel him, while others want to exonerate him. You do you. As for me, I will continue to love Aziraphale and Crowley. I will continue to read and create fan-fiction. I will continue to find comfort and wisdom in books that have meant so much to me over the years. But I will also remember that they were created by a very flawed man whom I can no longer trust.

I understand that opinions on this matter vary widely. I know some people might feel that not discarding everything associated with him is wrong, but this is where I stand. I’m not looking to debate this or be told how I should react. I just needed to process my thoughts in writing and move forward in the way that feels right for me.

[molinaesque]

Okay I mentioned that I had a bunch of Raphael thoughts and basically made a whole essay (in literally no actual format, this is just me vomiting out parsing thoughts and using it when lore dumping onto my friends). This is written based off of stuff you find in the game, some Wiki diving and my own thoughts.

Feel free to hit me up with some topics that we can talk about. And remember, these involve are my own thoughts and headcanons at the end of the day, so please act normally and don't come at me with pitchforks just because I have something that doesn't align with your specific HC.

A Prince's Tale: The Story of Raphael

In the universe of Faerûn, there exists a heaven and hell, or in this case the Heavens and the Hells. There are the Nine Hells of Baator, all ruled and lorded over by various archdevils. Raphael is the son of the ruler of the eighth circle of Hell, the archdevil, Mephistopheles. Raphael is a cambion which consists of a fiend and a mortal. Cambions then are considered "results of unnatural and unholy communion". In Raphael's case it's a bit more complicated because the fiend in this equation isn't just some lower being like an incubus or some other demon but a true Devil, making Raphael leagues above, both in power and rank, other typical Cambions, just purely due to his association and blood of being Mephistopheles' offspring.

The system in the Hells is extremely rigid and hierarchical (it's a system that has been upheld for eons. Many of the systems that make up the universe of D&D are as deeply rigid and rooted). Many of the themes of the characters of Baldur's Gate 3 consist of them either repeating the cycle or breaking its hold, which in the D&D verse is an extremely hard thing to do because of how long standing these systems are. In regards to the Hells, it works like a pyramid. The top of the food chain and order are the archdevils. There are many archdevils that reside and rule over each circle of the Hells, one however rules all and lives in the Ninth circle, Nessus; Asmodeus.

So what does Raphael want? The integral key item and centerpiece of the main plotline of BG3 dubbed only as 'The Crown', created by Karsus. Karsus was a very powerful, most would say perhaps THE most powerful wizard who ever lived. An archwizard/demi-god responsible for creating and casting a spell that would steal the power of a deity and transfer it to the archwizard who casted it. Eventually, this was a mistake, for one of the responsibilities of the deity of magic was to regulate the flow of magic to and from all beings, spells, and magic items in the world. He did not have the ability to do so properly, causing magic to surge and fluctuate, threatening that balance. This caused the flying cities of Netheril to plummet to the earth. The last thing Karsus sees is his entire civilization being destroyed because of his actions. This will be known as 'Karsus' Folly'.

Raphael tells you about this story and how he was there to witness it happen all those years ago. He wanted the Crown to himself but it was stolen and put into hiding. He later finds out that Mephistopheles, his father was the one responsible for stealing it. Now, here's a way to explain the fucked up power levels and why it plays so much of a factor especially in the Nine Hells. I mentioned how Raphael is not a typical Cambion, BUT even though he is technically a prince by birthright and a half true devil, it doesn't make a difference under the likes of archdevils like his father (who doesn't help at all with Raphael's behaviour because Mephistopheles is a MEGA asshole. I mean, there's a reason why Raphael never utilised his name to invoke influence and power, doesn't even call him father, that's how much he hates him. You only find out about it through Haarlep. He even had another child, a daughter, who he cared more about by making her a trusted double-agent against one of his rivals. Meanwhile, he treats Raphael like nothing and acts as if he doesn't exist for the most part). Basically, unless you are an archdevil in the Hells, you are never TRULY free. As power, literally = freedom in the Hells. Raphael realises this and so began his lifelong ambition to get that power. That came with the events of Karsus' Folly. Realising that this is the opportunity and power Raphael needed, he attempts to steal it only for it to be taken by none other than his own father. Now, you think "ah Mephistopheles wants that power for himself, right?" No. Here is how far apart the levels of power are between beings like Mephistopheles (beings such as archdevils/archwizards/demi-gods/gods/etc) and beings like Raphael, who is already a pretty substantial and powerful Devil by his own right.

Raphael has been coveting the Crown and its power for 10 centuries, a thousand years, essentially. It's his one source that can possibly give him the chance of taking even more control of the Hells and ultimately make him TRULY a free devil. It's his life's mission that has been going on until he's practically in his middle age in devil years (his human appearance showcases this, and we also see a younger Raphael in his devil form with Haarlep). Half of his (immortal) life. It is very crucial and important to him.

And yet… to Mephistopheles, it's just a souvenir. A trinket. Or as Raphael puts it, "a museum piece".

This, undoubtedly angered Raphael so much and made his hatred towards his father even more so (Raphael mentioned how he raged for a decade, understandably). The fact that not only does his father treat him as if he doesn't exist, but to add insult to injury, did this while mocking him by not taking him seriously. One of the things he did was to send an incubus, Haarlep, made and glamoured to be an exact copy of Raphael, to distract him. It could also be seen as a message of "here is my gift to you and it is one of the only few things that will ever be 'truly' yours; a copy of yourself". Raphael would have been the first image that Haarlep acquired, thus why the constant form that you see him with is of Raphael (Haarlep tells you this if you kill him and speak to his corpse). Haarlep's corpse also tells you that "Raphael only loves himself." I wonder why. Haarlep also has a contract that requires him to obtain 1000 souls (the runes on his harness have been translated to the number '1000') in order to be free. This is why the archivist in House of Hope tells you that special guests can reside in the boudoir, as this is a primary way for Haarlep to collect more souls. If you sleep with him, and allow him to have your heart and soul, you die. If you promise your body only, you live but he now has a full copy of you entirely. Additionally, we know Gortash was sold to be in Raphael's services when he was a boy. We know that Gortash and the other Chosen eventually stole the Crown from Mephistopheles' vault. What's interesting is if you explore the House of Hope, you can find a portal to the eighth circle of Hell, Cania, where Mephistopheles resides. I believe that Gortash utilized this to obtain the Crown. Imagine the sheer rage and embarrassment Raphael had to endure because of this. Not only did the Crown get snatched from under him once but TWICE. Once by his father, and then later by a boy who was under his charge. I can completely imagine Mephistopheles utilising that as additional ammo and lording that over Raphael's head.

In pertaining to Raphael's character and behavior, all of this explains additionally as to why Raphael is the way he is. It's selfish, insecure behavior that also explains the portraits he surrounds himself with. Notice how all the paintings are of his true form. He also has many lines of dialogue depending on what you pick during your various meetings where he truly gets angry. One of these lines is him shouting "I AM NO MORTAL" when you simply ask why he would succeed where Karsus had failed (which is ironic because, my guy, you are part mortal, so was Karsus but he was very powerful for many other reasons other than pure association and blood. Raphael even tells you how foolish of a notion it would be if you suggest that you could take the Crown for yourself, telling you that archdevils, wizards, and gods have worn the Crown, "it would tear you apart" he warns you). The portraits of his Devil form in House of Hope surrounding him is a way of constant reminder to himself of what he wants to be associated with. He HATES that he is part mortal (he has showcased his disdain for the mortal realm very clearly during your encounter in House of Hope) and wants to see himself as only a Devil. To say that dude's got major issues and complexes is a huge understatement. He's a deeply insecure being who's controlling and manipulative (most of it stemming from his father and his predicament of essentially living a half-life), but he's also a pragmatic, self-aware character. He's very much the epitome of Lawful Evil. If the players choose to only see him as a one note character who's just "self-centered and evil", you can. That's the beauty of Baldur's Gate. These things are true,but you can also add on top of that when you choose to find out and explore for more lore and characterization.

Interestingly, the way he treats someone who opposes him compared to those who don't are very stark in contrast. You see it with the prime examples of Hope (naming the house after her due to her being the one soul who he cannot convert and have on his team completely) and of her sister Korilla, who has mentioned that she loves being in service of Raphael completely as he has treated her with respect and given her more freedom than her previous master ever did, who in her own words, "constantly would beat me and feed me scraps". "Better to be free in the Hells than go begging in the Heavens", she tells you. She's also not blindly following Raphael or under any thrall. In fact she makes light of him and his antics to you completely of her own volition. She made a bet with Raphael whether you would survive and get to Baldur's Gate (which Raphael bet FOR you to succeed btw). You can find the Five Soul Coins they bet for in the safe hidden behind the portrait in HoH. And she doesn't sing his praises completely, saying that she's more skeptical of you than Raphael is and is fearful of how wrong he would be banking everything on you, saying "Raphael can be so very wrong". She basically tells you that Raphael won't shut up about you. She also tells you that Raphael is, in her own words, "by no means altruistic" and argues that Raphael truly wants to not have the world destroyed because it would simply mean, as she puts it "the boss did the balance sheets. No world, no souls". In fact, she BEGS you to reconsider if you didn't take the deal in the first place.

One could argue that Raphael residing in Avernus and having him in proximity of mortals more in comparison to the deeper levels of the Hells, gave him more perspective. He even tells you he doesn't want Baldur's Gate to be destroyed. He tells you, fondly, he couldn't possibly want that to happen because the city is "an object lesson of moral excess". Why would he want a huge primary source of deals and contracts for him gone. If you explore the House of Hope, many of his deals range from complex, twisted deals to simple, straightforward ones with no caveats (for example there is a debtor who tells you that he sold his soul for enough money to keep his family well fed. Done. No trickery. That was the end of it. Even the architect of Moonrise Towers attested to Raphael keeping his word and defeating Ketheric's forces way back then). In Raphael's own words, "I'm a man of my word" and he wasn't lying. There's a reason why he has practically a 99.9% conversion rate (his one big failure being Hope and why he's so obsessed with converting her is because he truly cannot understand how one can be so pure of a soul. She's a puzzle, and Raphael HATES it when he can't figure something out). If you're wondering why can't Raphael (or any other devil) force or lie about the contracts they have made, well that's literally by design. Asmodeus created a law that bars devils from doing so, and devils will get punished severely would they ever take advantage of that. That's also why devils have to be extra sneaky when being contractors because if they die, it doesn't matter. The contracts they made while still alive still stays intact until they are completed. Meanwhile, the contract just gets given to another devil. When Raphael tells you in HoH if you asked him for no more bloodshed, he tells you "you've given me no choice". He means this, as it would mean both you AND he would be punished regardless if he were to let it be.

Mol is another example of a straightforward transaction. He wasn't lying when he said he'll keep Mol safe from harm in exchange for becoming her patron. It's not for something nebulous like "she has to become the leader of the guild in the next 20 years" or something extreme, it was just "I'll be your patron in return for your safety and security". He sees her as a long standing investment. Raphael mentioned that he hates children, but there is ONE thing he values above all else and admires when he recognizes it. "Ambition." He tells you he sees that in Mol during the meeting at Last Light Inn. It's also believable that he sees himself in Mol (especially his younger self) and thought "I respect it and I get another easy contract. Win-win". The dude loves underdog stories since his own is practically one as well. In fact, Mol doesn't like it when you treat her condescendingly. If you remember the chess scene in Last Light Inn, there are ways she can lose but also various ways she can win (and no, you don't have to only pick helping her cheat for this to work). If you help her cheat, she wins. If you help her by giving her an offensive strategy, she wins (in fact Raphael knows that she cheated, and if she won legitimately, even comments about the move and stating that it's a legit maneuver in chess and praises Mol for it saying that it's "exactly what I would've done"). Either way, Raphael praises your suggestions when Mol leaves. If however, you don't offer advice, or tell Mol to be defensive, she looses, prompting Raphael to comment on how being non committal or weak will not help Mol in the long run. If you stole her contract, she doesn't mind it too much BUT if you killed Raphael and told her about it, she will HATE you. Hating how you killed her patron, "Big Raph" as she calls him, that would ensure her safety and security as long as she's under contract. It's another additional interesting subplot that doesn't really have anything to do with the grand scheme of the game, but adds even more layers to already fascinating characters.

This dichotomy is what makes Raphael a very complex and interesting character. He's a devil who wants Ultimate Power, make no mistake, but he also is pragmatic enough to realise that he does not want another "Karsus' Folly". In fact, he could have easily just done an Emperor to gain your trust wholeheartedly and then turn on you the moment you have the Crown. It would have been easier for him. But he chose to bank on you being a long term investment maybe even beyond the Crown, meeting you head on and reveal his true nature to you from the first meeting. If you listen to everything he tells you, he never actually lies, he omits things here and there, but he never lies to you (in fact if you become even more on his team, there is a line where he straight up tells you that he "likes you"). It's a similar relationship with Korilla, in that she has complete free will but is for his team. He mentions that he does not like it when people beg or kiss his ass (there are many examples of this, his conversation with Voss for one and also whenever you choose dialogue options that make you seem like a spineless whimp). He even tells you at points that he likes the way you do things (even if they're a bit unorthodox), and if you took his contract but chose to break it (or just stole the hammer, it's the same regardless), it makes it even more personal because he genuinely was shocked to find that you were the one breaking into his house. This is one of the few times we see Raphael truly angry. No fancy words, no charm, no smarmyness. Just anger and even sheer disappointment that you chose to, in his own words, "become like Karsus, disregarding everything and burning your world to ash" (remember, Raphael truly believes that his method with the hammer and Orpheus is the ONLY way to defeat the brain, that's the unfortunate part of obsessing and planning for this goal for so long that he truly believes there are no other alternatives. He mentions in one of his diaries that he has planned a dozen ways to obtain the Crown, but he concludes that there is only one way for it to actually work and it involves Orpheus, hence the creation and naming of "The Orphic Hammer". There's even a book about its creation in HoH). Hell, even one of the dialogue options where you say "there's no need for more bloodshed", you would think he'd just be like "HAHAHA evil dialogue, i planned this all along, you're nothing, blah blah" but instead he actually says in his own words, "I have no choice" because we know that breaking contracts means death, and death means he has to collect your soul. Even if you didn't sign the contract and break in, he still genuinely did not think you would go so far as to do such a thing especially with the offer he made to you. He basically blames you for being too proud to do such a thing.

Even when you don't take his contract at all, when you meet up with the Emperor again in the Astral Prism during the battle against the Netherbrain, choosing to betray the Emperor will cause Raphael to appear for a final time. Does he just offer you the contract again? Yes. But not before scolding you for being an idiot and genuinely being pissed off at you for not taking his deal to free Orpheus. He even tells you in his own words, "we could have been allies, partners… FRIENDS!" If you try to beg him for help, he shouts at you, saying how you are in no position to make demands anymore because of your reckless actions. You made your bed, you have to recognise it. If you still refuse his offer, he doesn't try to force you, or twist your arm in any way… he just tells you, quote, "Goodbye. It's been unforgettable" (which is his way of saying "i won't forget you… but i also won't forget how much of a fucking blind idiot you were) and then leaves you forever. If you take the deal, he tells you it's no longer as equals anymore, you are now considered a lowly servant to him. He genuinely wanted you to be partners, but doing all of this basically leads him to conclude that you aren't worth it anymore. The way the writers chose to have the Emperor and Raphael parallel each other but in different ways is genius. They are two sides of the same coin. Both want true freedom, both try to manipulate Tav, the main characters for their own cause, both are extremely pragmatic and set in their own ways and goals. The irony is that instead of portraying Raphael as this pure scheming, one note character - is flipped on it's head by making him honestly, one of the most truthful characters in the game. It's just that he's a Devil. As Korilla states when you ask her back at the brothel, "why can't Raphael just be clear with me if we are on the same team?" she tells you as if explaining that the sky is blue…

"He's a Devil. It's in his nature. He has to make his dues."

This speaks of how ancient and deeply rooted these laws and systems work in their universe. Typically, characters says stuff like this to be hyperbolic/dramatic. But in the case of Raphael as a Devil, she means this literally, as souls keep the Hells functionable, and as we know by now, souls = power, and more power = more freedom.

Now, to address the epilogue and what happens if you do make the pact with him and delivered upon your promise. He comes to you and tells you that he and his forces are already taking over Avernus and overthrew Zariel. He tells you that he has various archdevils already coming to him to make concessions, his father included. He also tells you that he'll be knocking on your door soon. This is open to interpretation, but remember he has sworn to you during your deal that he would never use the Crown on a mortal (trust me, with his obsession with the Hells and how he envisioned on ruling it, in his own words "more order, efficiency, and control", he is definitely more interested in dominating the Hells only, it's too much work anyhow to be interested in anything else. Also he swore to you as part of the contract, he literally cannot break this, if he does, it's immediate punishment for him, so he's not lying). So, more than likely, he finds you to be a very important potential ally to further work with in the future. Also, depending on how early you signed the contract, his tone/line can be interpreted VERY differently.

Now here's the most interesting part… if you aren't familliar with D&D lore, that epilogue would lead you to believe "oh damn he's going to be ruler of the Nine Hells just like he wanted, good for him", but that's easier said than done. Because not only the deeper the Hells go, the more powerful these archdevils will be. I have no trepidation about him defeating them or them conceding to him, that's already happening. The one obstacle he truly needs to worry about… is the keeper of the Ninth Hell, the ruler of all the Nine Hells of Baator, Asmodeus. The creator and overlord himself. Just to give you a concept of how the power levels work in D&D… level 12 and above, are almost levels of godhood. Think the likes of Hercules. At the level Asmodeus is at, however, a former deity (speculative) and creator of the laws and system that permits the balance of life and the universe itself, Raphael even with the Crown will have… a VERY slim chance of overruling him. At the very least he could take over the other realms or instill his way of order and control, and appeal to Asmodeus, because funny enough, Asmodeus' personality and behaviour and goals is VERY similar and akin to Raphael's (Asmodeus is the primal embodiment of Lawful Evil and a supreme strategist of unparalleled skill. He's good at warfare but even better at words, planning, and subterfuge). Another thing is Raphael might even change his own mind, because Asmodeus isn't just the ruler of the Hells, his primary existence is to keep the balance of life and death and the existing universe in check. I personally don't see Raphael being interested in such a huge responsibility but that's another topic for another day.

Another fun fact, many of the characters in D&D are existing characters in various cultural stories/mythologies. Many of the archdevils included with the likes of Mephistopheles, Baalzebub, Mammon, and yes even Asmodeus. The writers most likely looked to biblical texts for inspiration of Raphael, but the irony is they took the one famous character in Christian biblical text, Raphael, who is not a devil, but an archangel and then flipped that character on its head. One of archangel Raphael's most famous stories is literally called, 'the Battle Against Asmodeus', where Raphael fights against Asmodeus, a fallen cherub and dubbed, "personal adversary" of Raphael. What's even cooler? The battle was not one of might, but of intelligence, wisdom and influence. Exactly like how D&D's own Raphael and Asmodeus operate. Raphael certainly takes more after Asmodeus than he does his own father.

Speaking of which, what about his father? Raphael mentions that he was there amongst the midst of other archdevils coming to Raphael to make concessions. Raphael is smart enough to know, though, that his father is not there solely out of "you did it, my boy" or anything like that, or perceiving him as a true threat still. Besides knowing how Raphael is seen by Mephistopheles, back at the diabolisk shop, there is an orb charmed to keep an eye on Raphael at all times. If you had defeated him in House of Hope, you will witness Mephistopheles holding the broken body of Raphael over his mouth and eating him. It's a nod to 'Saturn/Kronos eating his son(s)'. Basically, if you chose this ending for Raphael, you close the circle and end this story of Jacobean tragedy of an underdog prince who has been seeking validation and freedom from the sheer inescapable nature of the Hells and it's systems. In a way Raphael also has the same themes of your other companions who are also trying to navigate their fates. Whether to repeat that cycle in perpetuity or break free of it, it all hinges upon your choices throughout this journey of Baldur's Gate 3. Basically, Mephistopheles is just waiting patiently to witness his own son's downfall should he become overzealous and overtly ambitious, before swooping in to consume his son and all that additional power for himself, power that he doesn't even need, mind you. He's just there for the vibes, and to add even more pressure on his son. Parents, amirite?

If you're on team Raphael (like me) and gave him the ending he wants, the only thing I can really say is "Good luck, little prince. I'm actually rooting for you. You're going to need it."

Will our little princeling be able to break out of his own cycle and come out on top? Will Raphael be able to even get to the ninth circle let alone confront Asmodeus? Will Raphael finally get one over his dear ol' dad? Will Raphael ever get to finally make due on his promise ("I'm a man of my word"), and have that wine with Tav?

Hard to say, for his journey is just beginning.

[leviismybby]

However, I don't know how to feel about Levi because of the real source material (Isayama interviews, smartpass story and side material like that…) and the 'professional' Japanese translators on this blog. I think he really is, according to the correct Japanese translations and Isayama interviews, he is really dragging humanity through the mud for his personal feelings… and he is someone who is floating and aimless because of Erwin's death… So much so that Isayama even thought of killing him many times because he didn't know what to do about him and threw him aside… also I guess he has no interest in women… oh and Ackerbond is probably real… I know it's not a canon ship and I know he's not in love, but that doesn't mean it's not written too reductively to Erwin. And it disgusts me…

Because of the source material, side material, canon discourse and Japanese translator blogs, my opinion of him is changing more and more and I think I will throw my LevixOc project in the trash… Levi is really someone who (because of Isayama's writing) has been hypnotized by Erwin's own goals and has taken control of Levi's entire character and actions. I don't think I could take him (or s/o) out of this hypnosis.

I know you can say "Isayama's opinions can change" or "only what is in the manga is canon" and I used to hide behind that for consolation, but I realized that once Isayama said it, it was true and it stayed there. And I think the interviews are necessary to understand the content of the scenes etc. in the manga.

Even analysis is no longer a comfort for me… after all, why need complicated writing when interviews and manga are the source of what really happened there…

I guess he's not the character I thought I wanted… I wish he was his own man… I wish he wasn't a character to be discarded just because he died because of another character… or someone who is too picky and only accepts high standards… (this is just my own opinion based on the manga and the material/opinions I think Canon!Levi would be like that)

I'm deeply disappointed… As delulu as the Eruri fandom is, most of what they say is unfortunately true… after all, they take real sources and cite them as evidence… I don't think they are mistranslating because there are professional cold-blooded translators in this fandom and most of them quote what that blog says…

I wish I had never encountered this fandom and this character, so I wouldn't have to be so upset all these years…

Except that half of the interviews are either fake, completely twisted or don't exist. Especially that flaoting ballon bullshit, which a lot of Japanese fans say wasn't even said.

I will this again, please read the manga on your own and base your opinions on Levi on your own.

Since you already mention Eruri and i might ruin your day here but Eruri is as canon and Levihan is, it isn't. No Levi never prirotized Erwin over humanity and you'll understand that if you read the manga for yourself and analyse it for yourself without letting the fandom get to you.

Levi is his own man, he has his brain to think with and the only people who think he doesn't are shippers. Not once did Levi put his own selfish desires before humanity for anyone, he was as sad about Erwin's death as he was for the rest of his comrads. Not a single instance in the manga/anime or any actual official interviews given by Isayama was Levi reduced to Erwin, only a shipper would think that way. Oh and Ackerbond thing too, not only is that damaging to Levi's character, it is just creppy and definitely not a thing.

I am sorry anon but it seems like you don't understand Levi and his character at all. Isayama always said that Erwin and Levi were equal and sworn friends, he didn't say that because he hid some sort of hidden romance between the two, he said it because that's how it is, its a strong bond of trust and commandership and reducing it only to "Oh Levi is a love sick puppy who only cares about Erwin." is a mischaractertion at max.

My advice to you is to take a break from the fandom is they are making you not like your oc x Levi anymore, that's the best way to get them out of your head and please, base your own opinions, not what people online say.

[lennadanvers]

Hmm i wanna ask your opinion about how Simon Riley once had fallen in love with someone that share similarities with him but this person is much more complicated than him. More reclusive, secretive and has extreme trust issue. You think how Simon would act around them?

This is a little old, but I'm trying to reply to my asks, so here it goes. Keep in mind I'm in no way a Simon Riley expert: this is just, broadly speaking, how I think he may handle things (based off of my idea of him and the media I've consumed regarding his personality). Also, it is my first time aproaching a character this way.

I think that Simon himself couldn't be much more reclusive, secretive and have more trust issues, honestly. The man doesn't show his face or use his own name. He is also pretty complicated himself. So it's kinda hard to imagine someone even more reclusive, secretive and with more trust issues. Also, he is complicated, as a character and as a person (with this I mean that, in his own universe, he has both a complex history and ways to interact with people; even if it doesn't always show).

That said, I think it really depends on the way you're picturing him. I've seen him written in more of a protective role, with most of his issues resolved. In that light, I think he'd be patient and understanding. He'd try to get close to them, but really slowly, the way one tries to help a wounded, but dangerous, animal. He'd understand and wait for them to grant permission before getting closer. It'd be a slow process (very, very slow, he could be at if for years). I think Simon would try to prove he is trustworthy, and that, even if they try to push him away or emotionally hurt him, he wouldn't budge. I'm thinking a calm Simon, maybe a little sad because he can't protect them from the things he went through. It'd be hard for him because it'd be like reliving it all over again.At the same time, every small victory would bring him a thousand times more satisfaction. I bet he blushes down to his chest and hides his smile against his pillow when he remembers the way they chose him for an exercise in pairs during training.

On the other hand, if he hasn't resolved his issues, I think it would be a little more dangerous. He'd know it can be a bad idea: one of him is bad enough. He wouldn't be able to stay 100% away, though. He'd be there without being there. Silence, quick glances, always an inch of air between his body and theirs. I picture lots of acts of service and very few words. At least very few honest words. Maybe too many jokes (not explicitly directed at them, but still) just to feel like they know he's not dark, scary and hiding all the time. He'd be (even more) scared. And confused. Terrified of rejection, of doing even the tiniest bit of damage, of overstepping, of them seeing him the way he sees himself. The way I see this working is the both of them working together to heal. This road would have more bumps, I think, but Simon doesn't give up, period. The man won't lose a battle against himself, and he sure as hell ain't losing to their demons. Just lots of angst and some autodestructive feelings/actions. But a happy ending anyway.

[funhouse-mirror-barbie]

Looking back at Steven Universe I had a lot of criticisms, but there were also a lot opinions and discourse that REALLY didn’t sit right with me—one of the biggest ones was the discourse surrounding “Storm in The Room”

I remember there being a lot of posts about how “Rose” was gaslighting Steven by asking him if he really believed she purposefully made him to run from her mistakes.

And I just. As someone who is close to their parents BUT also has had a lot of fights with them, and has had a lot of moments where I felt EXACTLY like Steven does during this scene, it was always very clear to me that this whole conversation and episode was Steven working out his complicated feelings about Rose on his own.

The “Rose” in the gif above is not real. It’s not actually Steven’s mom. That’s like. That’s the whole point.

Steven asking Room!Rose if she just created him to run away from her mistakes, and her responding by asking him if he really believes that, is Steven having an internal dialogue. He is talking things out with himself. It’s something I’ve done myself MANY times when I get in arguments or need to untangle my own feelings about something.

Steven’s fear and anxiety is that he wasn’t created to be his own person, but to fix Rose’s mistakes. However, on some level he doesn’t really believe that, he knows rationally Rose loves him and did not INTEND for him to be hurt by her past actions. But regardless of her intent, Steven was still hurt. And that hurt is real and important.

This room manifests Steven’s desires, feelings and thoughts. I always interpreted that scene as Steven coming to terms with the fact that his mother isn’t perfect and wonderful like he previously believed her to be. It’s him realizing she’s a PERSON who had flaws and did bad things.

He has to let himself feel the anger and hurt and betrayal and be upset before he can think rationally again and realize that no, he doesn’t really believe that his mom only made him to hide from her mistakes. But it’s still upsetting. It’s still hard. And as he says in this scene, he has to pick up the pieces of everything Rose left behind.

THAT is the point of this scene, and of “Storm in the Room” as a whole.

Something that I haven’t heard or seen talked about in regards to Steven Universe’s themes is the fact that, in life, you will hurt the people you love sometimes. And that you will be hurt by them in turn.

This happens multiple times through the series, and I personally think it’s done so well because the way the characters are written feel very true to life. The relationships in Steven Universe rupture and break, but the characters come together to repair their relationships again and again.

That is what a healthy relationship actually looks like—they are not devoid of conflict. Instead the people in the relationship work through conflict when it arises.

The reason the conflict in Steven Universe is so engaging to me personally is because its focus is on interpersonal relationships and how they take hard work and time.

This is something that is so important to understand, for kids and adults alike. That the people who love you become a part of you, and that they will hurt you—and while that doesn’t make them evil or malicious, that pain is still real and deserves to be acknowledged and those feelings should be treated seriously.

[luminous-jade-skies]

在心而在心思

In Heart and In Mind

Foresight 远见 (written as of patch 1.0)

Pairing: Jing Yuan/Vidyadhara! Reader

Content: rated M, complicated relationships, fluff, humour, complicated feelings, potentially older man/younger woman (the situation is complicated), morally grey fic, leaning yandere! Jing Yuan, minors dni

This is really long, like really long. I’ve been writing this for like a week or two (might’ve been two). Also as mentioned in the contents, it’s quite a weird situation (which makes it fun). I don’t recommend minors reading this because (no offence) it takes a bit of discretion. 在心而在心思 may also be a series (not chronological), so if you liked this one, there may be potentially more in the future.

I actually lost my 50/50 to Clara at 85 pulls which pained me greatly to the point where I swore off gacha games for a bit. Then I decided to swipe and got him in around 65. I also pulled for his lightcone and got it in 1 ten pull, so I’ll take that as his apology ahahaha. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

———————————————————————————————————

“Amidst the falling golden light of the Arbor Glowing roots spread across the ship Conflict blooming from its branches, the pale aurora flames.

Where gingko leaves fall and dance in the wind Blood and despair follows Halls of humanity, forgotten in the pride bred from our bones. 

Thus sings our short history Where legends live and never die…”

Your brush draws out the last stroke of the character onto your scroll, the golden paint appearing on the brown reflective surface just in time for you to meet the matching irises of the Divine Foresight. 

“Late. Again.” The scroll is rolled and snapped shut—poem incomplete—and tucked into your bag. Its red tassel hangs out teasingly. “General, after many centuries I expect you to be less tardy.”

He plops down on the stool of the teahouse in front of you, making himself comfortable by crossing his leg and leaning his elbows on the table. “Oh?” He says with playful amusement. He reaches over to pinch your cheek which you immediately dodge. “If you’ve known me for so long, why still call me ‘general,’ hm?”

You huff. “Firstly, you’re my superior, I must address you as such. Secondly, I know you, not in heart, but in mind. If everything written in my past self’s journal is true, then you have hardly changed.”

As soon as Jing Yuan confirms an order of two Immortal’s Delight, he chuckles. “So you’ve finished reading all the journals?”

“Of course not, there’s so much to read! If you told me I was a writer in my past life I wouldn’t be surprised. I just finished reading volume twelve.” You cross your arms. 

“Oh? You’ve finished all twelve already?”

“No, I started from the most recent years. The information seems the most relevant, like recent developments in my job and instructions on how to deal with them. That being said, you’re not keeping anything from me aren’t you?” You eyed him suspiciously. 

He feigned hurt, wincing and throwing a dramatic hand to clutch his heart. “Did your past self write such terrible things about me? I miss when you acted carefreely, especially when you would rush into my arms without care.”

“I’m old enough to not be doing that!” You exclaimed, hiding your face behind your hand in embarrassment. After taking a quick second to compose yourself (wisely covered up with a fed-up groan), you clarify your pointed suspicion in a hushed tone. “The journal mentions how I was supposed to begin working as soon as I reached five years old. I’m fifteen now and I’ve only started.” 

It’s true. You were supposed to start when you were five. If everything had gone according to your past self’s plan, you would master literacy by three and finish most of your studies by five like “how you always did” as you had told him. However, Jing Yuan had different plans. You were catching on quickly that he wasn’t honouring your wishes as you had wanted them exactly. But it would take more deduction and action than merely suspicion to nail him in his sins. 

“If I were as wise as my past self seemed to have been, then I would not trust my reincarnation to solely one person, even if he was the Divine Foresight. It puts me in too much a vulnerable position.”

Jing Yuan sighs, but not of discontent. Returning to his leisurely posture, he stares at you from beneath his lashes lazily, saying. “You’re so cute in your caution.”

If any Outworlders were nearby to witness the mild flirt, they would have shot a concerned look at Jing Yuan. Was this middle-aged man making passive moves on a young girl?! If they tried looking around at other passersby, they would find no such reaction. With one glance at the girl in question, locals would notice the Vidyadhara horns and the red Erudition eye painted on the middle of her forehead, then continue on their day. Afterall, the Sky-Faring Logistics Master could take care of herself. 

The Dozing General always kept alertness just below the shallows of ease. You were a big deal in the Sky-Faring Commision, handling everything that involved the movement of goods of any kind. The seven Luofu Sky-Faring Commision Guilds imported and exported all sorts of products, but you arranged the receiving and releasing of said products. Suffice it to say, without you, the flow of hundred thousands of containers moving through the Luofu would be clashing in a blinding chaos. Much of the laymen didn’t realise that the ever-capable Logistics Master had not been at her post for the past ten years. Merely seeing you led them to assume you were doing your job as usual. As for admin and employees within the Commision… the temporary Master’s term had to be extended with the additional request (read: order) that any concerns were put to rest assuringly. Now, he had been relieved with good compensation and you were put in your proper position, everything would continue as normal.

No harm done.

Jing Yuan’s lips twitched when you scoff at his comment. “Still saying such things?” You say. “Hmph, my past self might have tolerated it, but I won’t. If you like her so much, then show me the same respect!”

“Why not act as casually as I treat you? Even the staff at the Seat call me Jing Yuan.” He leaned forward with a blossoming innocent smile. “You’re already acting so haughty and you’ve only just received your journals, have you forgotten who your official guardian is?”

“I knew it! My previous incarnation was a fool to put me in your hands!” You whined.

Mengming comes over just in time to stop your pouting fest with two refreshingly cold Immortal’s Delight. As you drag the drink closer, the expertly swirled fluffy whipped cream hardly bobs on top of the blended milk tea drink. A tiny hum of approval leaves your now grinning lips. That meant the drink was freshly blended, ice crystals still solid in the ideally near-frozen treat. Sprinkled on top is a generous cluster of brown sugar bits, glistening in what light sneaks into the shaded tea shop, as if the sweet syrupy goodness layered at the bottom of the same ingredient wasn’t enough. It forms a murky fog that swirls cloudily with the liquid, just waiting to be stirred and messed about inside the cup. Hiding amidst the murk are bouncy and chewy pearls, treasures you can’t wait to hunt with the red straw. 

You waste no time taking a big gulp, uncaring of how the freeze travels straight to your brain. A sugary explosion bursts in your mouth, accompanied by the slight bitterness of the tea in the most uplifting manner. Unaware of how the bliss draws happy hum after hum, you chew on the pearls. Your hair sways side to side with your head, hands gripping the drink tightly like the magical treat it was. 

The general takes a sip of his own, and savours the taste with you with closed eyes. Your past self was not here for the drink’s creation, and your go-to refreshment was a personally brewed pot of Whale-Tide Spring tea. Your present self, however, was less interested in the archaic drink and preferred the more modern one. What a shock it was to him when you refused another sip of the tea, letting out a small ‘bleh’ after only the first. In contrast, your love for Immortal’s Delight was as strong as your past love for Whale-Tide Spring (which was saying quite a lot, you always had a porcelain jar full of the leaves). 

Ever since its introduction, Immortal’s Delight has been a hit with the Luofu locals, but especially with you. His original intention was to reintroduce you to your favourite tea, but with how sideways that went, he tried something else. Yes, he received weird looks from others as he ushered a toddler to take a sip of the chilly thick drink, but you loved it in the end so that was that. It was also of great amusement to him how you cried and grabbed for it when he threatened to finish the rest of it. And yes, he gave you an extra sip because you learnt how to ask nicely that day. 

His eyes open to return to your form. Visions of the past overlaid themselves with the present. Past you was elegant, dignified with that slight tinge of whimsy. Present you was excitable, childish, bursting with a starlight that shone from your eyes—something he supposed could be called ��youthful innocence.’ He wonders if this is what you were like in your younger days… thousands of years ago. You had mentioned how millenia of diligent journaling has maintained your wisdom’s edge no matter how many times you’ve moulted. It’s a well-known fact in the Xianzhou Luofu that the Sky-Faring Logistics Master never changes. Same name, same personality, somehow you’ve managed to create a unique sense of immortality…  

‘I’ll be moulting soon. I must ensure that all my knowledge and character are well-documented for my next reincarnation,’ you told him one day. Back then, he was a young apprentice under Jingliu, helping to move boxes of journals to your new residence. It was sunny that day, and he had just finished another exercise of 10,000 sword strokes, but he was eager to help as soon as he caught a glimpse of you in the distance. He had asked why you kept so many records, refusing to admit his struggle with the weight yet still feeling the strain of them all the same. 

‘Why does your reincarnation need to know all this?’

You tilt your head over your shoulder to smile at him, long horns extending gracefully in an arch against the bright sky. ‘I have been master over the Luofu’s goods flow for longer than you can ever imagine. Whether it be the receiving of commercial goods for residents or sending military supplies to our Cloud Knights, the hand that draws lanes and guides starskiffs must be an experienced one. The history of trade is great and the eyes that witness are the eyes that must be preserved.’ 

You wave a hand lightly at the box he carries. ‘—hence my records.’

He wonders just how much you’ve changed under his care. Letting you develop with hardly any direct influence from your past self must’ve affected you somehow. Not that he wanted you to change, Lan forbid. He loved you dearly, and he’s seen you be reborn over and over. He still dreams of every life you've lived and every moment you shared with him. As a good friend of his parents who worked in the Realm-Keeping Commision, he’s known you even before joining the Cloud Knights. Respect turned into admiration, then adoration, and further still in his adolescent years, a boyish crush which developed into an intimate love (and the lust that accompanies it) that he disguises under a close and familiar friendship. 

Qingzu likes to say ‘when the Sky-Faring Logistics Master steps into the Seat of Divine Foresight, the Dozing General dozes no longer.’ So perhaps he isn’t subtle about his feelings at all. 

Jing Yuan finds himself enjoying you enjoy your drink rather than enjoying the drink itself. You’re adorable, unbearably so. He’s met you in this age before but you’re always trying so hard to maintain your poise that he hasn’t seen you act this way. Really, you’re quite different now. As a kid you would quite literally jump for joy when he bought your favourite food or read you your favourite books. Pouting wasn’t a strange occurrence either. Sometimes he indulges in a little bullying to rile you up, have you stomping all over the place before giving you what you wanted. He watches you happily sip away, practically able to see warmth blossoming around you from joy. 

Your past selves never pouted nor showed excessive joy, and you had grown into it. He had noticed how the pressure to continue the legacy of your first life strained you, whether it be in the tired narrow of your eyes or the hollow sigh you let spill out. You may be the same in biological make-up, but really, you were successors of someone with very high standards and ambition… or were possibly part of a social experiment (he vocalised that joke at some point and you only shrugged, saying you could understand the intrigue which only makes it more plausible). 

The idea that he had ruined you somehow sent excited tingles zipping around in his brain. He had not only yourself in his grasp, but your very personality. When he made the decision to be your guardian, he wasn’t thinking of this indirect consequence. Clutching your bloody egg in his arms, the scene of your head getting cleaved off replaying countlessly in his mind, all he could think about was how he had to protect you and keep you close. 

So now you were his adorable little charge, and in the future, hopefully, his beautiful wife. He’s made sure to keep his hands off you, it was distasteful to even attempt and would dishonour you and your past incarnations. But his feelings were very true and well… you were still you. Regardless of how different you acted. 

“Why are you suddenly looking so happy…” you asked, nudging the empty cup away. “You haven’t touched your drink, if you don’t want it, can I?”

Just as you say that he takes a huge sip of his Immortal’s Delight, causing a considerable amount to disappear. And much to his delight, you frown a little and keep your eyes on him albeit with an unimpressed expression. 

“Now now, no need to make that face,” he mellowly drawls. “I’ve been so distracted by the beauty in front of me that my drink has become watery, how will you compensate?”

“General, I will throw my bag at you!”

He chuckles and continues to languidly sip, watching your face turn red. ‘How satisfying,’ he thinks. Long ago such teasing would only warrant a polite dismissal from you, even if you were blushing. Now he wonders what other expressions he could draw from you…

Two empty cups are left on the table as the both of you leave for a stroll. Jing Yuan had arranged for this lunch break meeting since he hardly sees you anymore. He missed when he could take you with him to his office, it certainly made those boring days go by a lot faster. On days where he’s forced to stay up late signing documents or going over a deployment plan, you’re there sleeping soundly on his lap. It only takes a single glance down to restore his energy. Now that you’re working he only ever gets to see you in the mornings and evenings, not quite enough time. 

There’s a pleasant breeze in the air and civilians are moving about peacefully. He allows himself to be lost in the atmosphere until he hears you mutter something. He looks down at you inquisitively with a small ‘hm?’ and you blink up. 

“Oh! It’s nothing!” You exclaim, waving your hands. “I was just wondering where Yanqing is.”

Yanqing. Your past self has never met him, he took in the boy not long ago and you’ve happily adopted him as your younger brother. The boy is usually at the training grounds with other Cloud Knights or at home studying (that’s what he tells him, but most likely he was distracted 80% of the time). Jing Yuan did ponder over whether to invite the boy, but decided that he could another time. Just like with you in the past, he brought Yanqing with him almost everywhere, but for today he just wanted to be alone with you.

“He said he would be at the training grounds mastering his sword strokes. Why?” Jing Yuan replied. He leans down closer until you can feel his breath ghost over your cheek. “Are you missing your little brother already?”

He pulls away as you jump in place and stumble back, slapping a hand on the afflicted cheek. He chuckles with an innocent expression at your fluster. 

“S-so? I’m just concerned for him! He’s usually with you and as his big sister, I have responsibilities, y-you know!” You sputter. “Don’t get close like that!”

The general quirks an eyebrow and your nervous sweating increases as his smile grows wider. ‘Oh no, what did I say…’

Like you anticipated, he walks closer, backing you up to the railings of the starskiff way. 

“What’s wrong with me being close, hm?” He teases, he’s hovering over you now and you lean further back to create more space between you. “Are you getting shy? Is this why you haven’t been giving me any hugs lately?”

Your head began to spin with how hot your face was getting. The truth was you’ve developed a bit of a crush for your superior. Your caretakers have always told you how attached you were to the general, and that hasn’t really changed until you read your past self’s journal. You wrote a lot about the general, like things he said or memories of older days (with exact journal entry numbers…). Sometimes you wrote descriptions of him with comments sprinkled in and it gave you a larger sense of familiarity beyond Jing Yuan just being your mentor. When you read an entry of a time Jing Yuan flirted (that word was nowhere to be found in the entry, but probably because your past self seemed to lack the recognition prowess for romance. You, who has read countless novels in your spare time, was well-acquainted) with your past self, you had to shut the book and almost threw it from your bed in second-hand embarrassment. 

That was not the only entry to have contained such contents. And for the entire time, your wise past incarnation assumed it was the general’s usual playfulness and your shared closeness. ‘Wise’! What ‘wise’?! How dense could a person possibly be! A man caresses your hair and says sweet words as the sun sets in front of you—how can it be anything but romantic! You had banged your head against your bed frame, going through multiple revelations at once, which alerted Jing Yuan who came into the room and asked ‘is something wrong?’ To which you quickly hid under the covers and shouted ‘nothing!’ as if that was less suspicious than just telling him you read something embarrassing from a novel. 

Anyways, you could never look at the general the same way again. How easy it was to make those memories your own, the way you wrote those entries were very personable. Again, if you were a writer in your past life, you would not be surprised! 

He leaned closely and gently ran his hand through some of my hair. The sun was beginning to set and our tea was cold from our lengthy conversation. It was cooling in the balcony of my flat but with Jing Yuan so close, I could not feel the chill. 

“And yet another day has passed,” he says, clearly referring to the increasing rosiness of the sky. He has not taken his eyes off me. “Many more are to come. But none of them will be as special as those I spend with you. You are more beautiful than any sunset or celestial phenomena.”

I watched curiously as he lifted the lock of hair to his nose and breathed in softly before kissing it. This made me laugh slightly and I waved him off. “Don’t hold me in such high regard, general. If I were to disappear, the rest of your days would become bleak.”

He looked at me seriously, gold irises glinting in the dying light. Somehow, it always manages to freeze me in place. Perhaps because I’m not used to that kind of emotion on him in moments like these. He took my hand and grips it tightly.

He said, “if you disappeared, the sun in my days would never rise again.”

He loved your past self. You don’t know if that sentiment was the same for your other incarnations, but he loved you deeply. When a young girl witnesses such tenderness and intimacy, even secondhand, how can she not develop feelings?! What made it even worse was the biting awareness that the both of you weren’t the same person. Maybe in body, but not in spirit. You seemed so different from her! And it was all because you didn’t start reading the journals early enough. A late bloomer, that’s what you were. Did he still love you the same way? 

“What’s on your mind?” Jing Yuan’s arms trapped you in between them, hands on the rails. “You’re staring so vacantly at me as if you’re thinking about something else.”

That snaps you from the tangled mess of hot wires of your mind. Immediately, you attempt to push him away, glancing nervously at passersby who are beginning to take notice.

“G-general… not here… people are looking…!”

He hums and leans closer, striking gold eyes mere inches away from yours, lips smiling mere fractions away from yours. His white hair falling over your face like a curtain. 

“This won’t do,” he whispers. “I can’t have your attention stolen away from me, can I?”

He takes a hand away from the rails to cup your head, tilting it stiffly so you’re angled to face him properly. ‘A kiss,’ you think dumbly. Was he really going to? Did you want him to? Your mind scrambled to sort the complexities of the situation. Technically, you were younger than him, incredibly so. And you were only fifteen! No matter how you looked at it, this was quite illegal wasn’t it?! You tried so hard to ignore this strange circumstance you found yourself in with the general. If only your past self was smarter about it! That stupid journal!

Just as you begin to feel dizzy and light-headed, Jing Yuan pulls away and pats your shoulder casually. “It’s quite rude for your mind to wander off while having a conversation, try to improve next time,” he says before continuing his stroll, leaving you flushed against the rails.

Upon processing his statement, your cheeks heat up further, no longer from embarrassment, but from anger. 

“As if you don’t do the same! General!” you shout, charging after him with the intent of giving him a good shove. 

Jing Yuan laughs as he accepts your shove, hardly affected. He’s seen enough to ascertain the future of his relationship with this new you—enough to grant him clear foresight. Now all he had to do was play his moves carefully.

In your office, you stare at the poem you were attempting earlier this afternoon. Remembering Jing Yuan turns you red, hastily you scribble down the last line before focusing on the rest of your work.

“Amidst the falling golden light of the Arbor Glowing roots spread across the ship Conflict blooming from its branches, the pale aurora flames.

Where gingko leaves fall and dance in the wind Blood and despair follows Halls of humanity, forgotten in the pride bred from our bones. 

Thus sings our short history Where legends live and never die In heart and in mind.”

[multifandombullshitbabes]

21

24

27

And

30

LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

thank you so much, I shall answer these prompts NEOW

21: Fics you wish you could find more of?

Oooohhh more fics involving Gwen, that's for sure. When she's written right she's one of the strongest, most relatable characters imo, 'cause all she wants is for the world to be right and just and kind and everything wants to prove her wrong, but she won't back down from her views. I would also adore more Elyan, just in general. And complete rewrites of the show 'cause the one I'm reading right now is so good I might do one as well. Also modern au's where they're all like secret badass spies or smth, 'cause those are so fucking cool (i am accepting fic recs for ALL of this, please feed me y'all)

24: Everyone knows that fandom doesn’t like uther but what are your feelings about gaius?

I think 1) we need more concrete info about how he was when he was younger, but 2) i think he is severely complicated and wanted what was best of merlin and morgana, but failed the two while also giving them a ton of love. With morgana, he just didnt want her to pursue her power lest she become uther's next victim, cuz gaius cares for the pendragon siblings like his own. With merlin, he was just trying his best with his overpowered nephew, who alos has a destiny regarding his people's genocide's son, and he just doesn't know what to do half the time, kinda like merlin. I didnt like how he lied to merlin n morgana, how he gaslit her and how he made merlin hide and become so anxious abt his magic (and we see what that looks like season 5), but i get it. I really get it. I dont know what i wouldve done if one wrong move could mean the death of two kids he considers his own. I bet he was scared all the time and hated himself for it.

27: Modern Merlin headcanons, if any?

OH BOY. OHHHH BOY. So many. It really depends on what au i have for modern merlin, but I'll give you a few generals:

he's a teacher of sorts; i like the idea that he's kinda collecting magical anomalies and teaching them how to understand their powers and being, since he knows what its like to be afraid of urself, so he's a personal magic teacher. I also rly like my magic elementary school au, since its merlin teaching magic to a bunch of kids, which is adorable

he has officially one cat, a black one called Midnight, that accidentally became immortal along the way and now hes severally attached. I say officially since hes also friends with any other animal that he might come across and they recognise him if he passes them again. disney princess fr

he's figured out his gender and he can turn into a woman if he wants; she looks exactly like merlin, same height, same weight n muscles, the hair is longer cuz merlin likes it that way and her voice is deep and gorgeous

his favourite weapon is a staff or any long distance fighting weapon of the sort; also he looks cool as fuck fighting with it, but thats just a bonus

I'll stop here but i have SO MANY MORE

30: Side character death that makes you the maddest?

Elyan. There was, quite literally, no need for it. I was gonna say Lancelot, since we did not get enough of him, but his death made sense for his character. Elyan? What the fuck was that? It was just for pain and nothing else. What did it add to the story if not just a sad funeral scene and thats it? It just felt like they wanted him gone n found a way, and that pisses me off. I feel like him saving gwen and living would've given such a complex situation when she turns evil, 'cause what if she "confides" more n more in her brother, creating a rift between arthur n elyan, which then creates a rift between arthur n the knights, which would just isolate him further n make him suffer, which is what morgana wanted!! we couldve had protective brother elyan! I think i just wanted more knights in general.

Thank you so much for this ask, I yapped a fuck ton but it was funn

[tiedsh0es]

Ok Silver. I feel like people just write him off as mean and don’t get how well-written he is, and how actually crazy a character like him staying till the FINAL 4 is. He never, ever would have gotten that far, never ever would have grown as much as he did if viewer voting was still in. That said, it’s because of this that I’m even more heartbroken that he didn’t get much of a sendoff in the finale.

Silver is such a complicated character, while his personality never changes he himself does change a little. He’s egotistical, and puts the show above everything else. But there are also moments where he shows he does try to make connections with people. I remember in episode 4, after he gets OJ voted out. He’s pretty proud of this! And tries to get the others in his team to join in on his enthusiasm, when they don’t take it in a good way Silver sort of shuts down. Crosses his arms and stands away from the group. He never really shows emotion; he just goes to the sideline and ignores things. He doesn’t really have the best social etiquette and because of his abrasive personality people don’t really want to try with him. But Candle actually involves him in things, even when he messes up with OJ she takes his hand and includes him into the group.

And in his speech he knows people don’t actually like him. He has to cross his fingers and hope he can sweet-talk his way out of it.

But Candle is there and he’s been practicing his powers for her, so he tries to show off his powers not realizing how much of an insult this is- and when Candle shuts him down there is a moment where he looks genuinely hurt before he- in silver fashion- shakes it off literally saying out loud to Cabby none of that! He’s never learned to actually show the vulnerable side of him. There is no proper communication here.

-

And the first part of the finale made me so- so hopeful!! The inner flame is such an important part to Silver and Candle’s character. It’s been mentioned and talked about since episode four, it’s what got them to first stick together. 

When the inner-flame takes over- and.. I saw a lot of people didn’t understand that Silver was NOT in control here, it was his inner-flame- it reveals the feelings he’s always hiding, he trusted that Candle believed in him, and “right when I finally felt like more than nothing” he feels betrayed. For a character that acts so egotistical to say that, he’s basically admitting he puts on an affront because he knows he’s unlikable and hard to get along with.

The inner flame is something he’s worked on, and gotten better at for candle. But he misunderstands the true meaning of it. And in his muddled up emotions he ends up hurting candle with it- the one person who has ever actually shown to care about him but not change him. He looks genuinely HORRIFIED that he’s done this. Finally his rash personality has real consequences. 

The first part of the finale was so good.. It put up so many stakes… it made me think I was going to get the silver send-off I’ve been wanting for like… actually a year 😭but then… Silver doesn’t really get to do anything. We never ever really get to hear Candle’s side of things, she just immediately forgives him… 

And they write off Candle as fine, as if she never got hurt in the first place as if her literal inner flame going out has no consequence. Silver mentions how he messed up but doesn’t really do anything besides that… He NEVER even got to conquer his inner flame!! That’s just a loose thread we never get to see! It would have been SO MUCH MORE impactful if Silver used his inner flame for another person, instead of using it for himself. If he mastered it to try and save Candle or even Springy or literally anyone!! But Silver didn’t get to do any of that!! All the consequences, all the episodes of him slowly learning he has an inner-flame for nothing?? Actually for nothing?? I’m actually devastated. He was so clever, so well-written, so complicated and this is how they ended his character?? I’m just so so sad.

I think the final episodes had a sort of writers-conflict, did they not  talk about how they wanted it to end?? Both episodes have very different stakes and feelings. It’s very sad that this is how they decided to end the final ep. I’m not happy with it. I have other complaints but Silver was what I was most disappointed with. Because even if there is a season 4 and he comes back for some reason they’ll never have the opportunity to show how clever he is, and let him grow as naturally as he did in invitational. (ok just realised both episodes had the same writer WHAT HAPPENED??????)

[brodorokihousuke]

Im curious given you are an avid SoJ enjoyer; what are your thoughts on Nahyuta and his actions?

My opinion on him is a little complicated, as my perception of him while playing the game (brother pisses me off, his theme starts and I groan, one of the only things i have ever flipped off) is completely different from my opinion of his overall character... but I suppose that just means he's written well haha.

I think he's very similar to Blackquill in that a majority of the game, he's masking his true emotions and/or motivations due to the need to protect someone (Rayfa, Apollo, and, frankly, himself) from harm. I think this makes him fairly complex and nuanced as you can't precisely tell what he's feeling at any given moment- if anything, he's specifically trying to hide such a thing.

As a sidenote, I do enjoy thinking about what his true feelings were throughout The Magical Turnabout, and the other cases pre: Revolution to a smaller extent. He had to be a little fucked up over facing Apollo in court, methinks...

A lot of his actions were, in my mind, influenced by this need to keep up appearances, and so I honestly can't say how many of them were explicitly his own decision or were influenced by Ga'ran. So, even though he pulled a lot of dickish moves throughout the game, I feel like a fair few of them can be forgiven due to his difficult position at the time.

I would be interested to see more of him post-SoJ, to get a better read of his emotions and personality.

[mr-nauseam]

for this ask game

Can you tell me about "You let me desecrate you"?

I'M SUCH A YAPPER. SORRY GRACE THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG BECAUSE I HAVE A LOT OF THINGS TO SAY ABOUT THAT FIC. It was tormenting me on my wips for MONTHS so I DO HAVE A LOT TO SAY. (Favorite Scene) From the second chapter in general I quite liked writing that whole scene when Sejanus is undressing and we find out how he's been living those terrible months and all that makes him decide to go “murder” Coriolanus in the shower <3 (which by the way was a blatant reference to the murder scene in psychosis, which I did not only because it's a very iconic scene but because the murderer is dressed as his mother and there's something abt Coriolanus forcing Sejanus to fulfill a maternal role in his life in BE...)

I especially liked this part: The door is opened carefully, his steps are silent and slow, he tries to hide among the crying of the shower, until the curtain shows him a silhouette he knows well. One that he has adored madly, a blurred image that hides his reward, the fair price for what Sejanus has lost, what has been taken from him. He pulled back the curtain. Abrupt movement. The weapon felt heavy as he placed it against Coriolanus's chest, aiming straight for his heart, and Sejanus remembered for the first time in years that he was actually taller than Coriolanus.

LIKEEE Coriolanus IS SHORTER THAN SEJANUS IN HEIGHT, VERY SHORT I WOULD SAY, but he is so BIG in a way. The power he hold over Sejanus and their relationship is so immense that Sejanus feel small next to him even physically, that he has forgotten that HE IS TALLER!!! That's craaazy I liked too the final scene of the third chapter (and in general of the fic) were I talk abt the fusion of both in one monstrous being. (My favorite chapter) I really like the 3 chapters but I have a special relation with THE SECOND FUCKING CHAPTER, LIKE NOT GET ME WRONG I ADORE DO SECOND CHAPTER BUT IT TOO FUCKING DRIVE ME CRAZY, IT TOOK ME AN INSANE AMOUNT OF TIME MANAGED TO WRITE IT. Honestly I feel I lost for complete the control of that chapter 😭 it's SOMETHING ELSE UH . So I kind HATE IT WITH MY SOUL and LOVE IT AT THE SAME TIME. (Hardest scene to write) ALL THE SEX SCENES SKJHSKJHSJKHS Vicó was making fun of me bc this was "😰" my face everytime I remembered THE SMUT FIC NEED INDEED HAVE SMUT... I simply suck so bad to write smut yet Im doing it bc I think we need more bottom Sejanus in snowjanus tag (Favorite character to write in the fic)

💖 SEJANUS 💖

Look writing Coriolanus sometimes is fun but I WAS SICK OF THAT MAN, because an unwritten rule is that in our collabs series (Bad Ending & Laboratory Au) I usually do Coriolanus POV and vicó does Sejanus POV (the reason is because I love her sejanus pov and she for a reason I don't understand likes how I write coriolanus) it's not a real rule because when the time comes she has written coriolanus and I have written sejanus but by the time I was doing this fic, I had already spent a lot of time writing from Coriolanus' POV, SO I WAS TIRED OF HIM, besides even if always is tragic and depressive, I always enjoy getting into Sejanus' head in bad ending.

(Favorite dynamic to write in the fic) The whole fic is centered around Snowjanus so clearly them but I liked the small mention of Sejanus and Strabo's fucked up relationship I did (Why I chose that title) I suffer from the sickness called "all my fics have names of songs," I'm also an addicted to make playlist at the slightest provocation so OBVIOUSLY I MADE A PLAYLIST JUST FOR THIS FANFIC, and one of the first songs I put in it was: Closer by Nine Inch Nails.

So the tittle is taken from the first verse: You let me violate you You let me desecrate you You let me penetrate you You let me complicate you

There were many parts of that song that I wanted to use as a title but in the end I went for that one because of the meaning of desecrate.

desecrate verb to damage or show a lack of respect toward something holy or respected.

There's a recurrent topic in the fic of Sejanus trapped in the madonna-whore complex in Coriolanus's eyes (pure or corrupted), of Coriolanus saying he adore and love Sejanus but literal abusing him and never having any respect for him, and all the blaming Snow do to Sejanus FOR THE OWN DAMAGE HE DO TO HIM???????? It feel adequate in a way, all this Sejanus is holy, but he "let" Coriolanus to desecrate him. (A fun fact about the fic) It started as a joke… Me and vicó, we talked fthat from our perspective Coriolanus is yes a pathetic virgin but he sure had a thousand kinks, and would ask Sejanus for “strange” things in bed, and how Sejanus knows how to use a gun in canon,,,, yeah gun kink appear in the talk and we discuss about the difficulties of them using a gun because well Coriolanus is paranoid and blah blah blah.

How did I end up writing it seriously and on top of that dealing with such heavy topics like Coriolanus' power and murder fantasies, Sejanus then fantazing to murder his abuser and etc etc? WELL THAT WAS VICOS FAULT because she put at the beginning of "My boy only breaks his favorite toys,"a scene of Sejanus fantasizing about murdering Coriolanus and SOMETHING CHANGED IN MY HEAD. And somehow the gun is a great symbol of the power imbalance that exists in their relationship, and after I wrote District Whore for Bad Ending Universe, I lost fear to post terrible smut SO I WAS ALL "WHO'S GONNA STOP MEEEE??? WHO'S GONNA STOP MEEE???" and no one stop me indeed, and this how THAT FIC HAPPEN...

[faksyan]

For the character ask thing, Decoy Octopus! No just kidding lol I'm gonna give you a Death Stranding character instead. Since you're new to the game and you might not have spent too much time thinking about the characters, choose one between these three: Fragile, Cliff Unger, Deadman.

Fragile!!!!!!!! Sorry I saw she was there and the decision was instantly made. Shame it's not Decoy Octopus though, love that guy and his many appearances (pun intended) in the game. And I do love both Deadman and Cliff. Fragile is just. I love her so much.

First impression

Being highly confused and intrigued about the world, that's what most of my attention was on during her introduction. Loved the spiky jacket!!! And I do love her umbrella, it's such a fun shape and. texture? I don't think they ever said what it's made of but it looks transparent and reflective and solid all at the same time? It's a really cool design. I like that she's a pretty mysterious character for a while and you know that she's There somewhere but not what she wants with Sam or overall.

Impression now

She seems pretty reserved and polite, but in a way that feels genuine. She respects people, even if they don't always respect her back, but she also doesn't seem the type to just take people's shit. Maybe she has been for a bit after people started labeling her as a terrorist, I feel like there was a lot of self-pity there that was well earned, she basically gave up her life for people who she thought would never know or appreciate it. I think her meeting Sam helped her a lot with processing all of that, and the fact that he let everyone know about what really went down must have been such a shock and relief, even if she didn't show it that much. I really like how happy she is about eating cryptobiots and offering them to Sam, and I love when he eventually takes one.

Also about Kojima's writing of women and in general, I think they are like fine wine, as in is better each year (the writing of women was a pretty shitty wine to start with though. magically got good in ds, and I genuinely wonder why, it hasn't been that long since v). She doesn't fall into the mother/sister/love interest pitfall a lot of his female characters do. I do love Amelie!! I do love Mama!!! Motherhood and family are very important themes of ds, but with the context of his previous games Fragile feels like breaking the pattern, which is great!! Decpite the running in her underwear in the rain bit, the way she's is written is kind of the polar opposite of Quiet. In terms of how society perceives bodies of older women its considered unsexy and whatnot, and the aftermath of what happened to her makes her hide her body as opposed to wearing a bikini. But it doesn't exactly feel like it's out of shame, even though it was definitely meant to be a humiliation when Higgs did it, it feels like Fragile still has so much dignity to her. I like that she is conflicted about her sacrifice and wishes she hadn't done it. Makes her feel very raw and real. It made me happy that the state of her body wasn't treated weirdly by anyone around her, and I get that it's because of the nature of the universe and that a lot of people must be affected by timefall all the time, but it still made me happy!!

Favorite moment

The forehead touch and conversation as she sent Sam to rescue Amelie, and the talk near the lake after she and Sam get rid of the bomb. When her and Sam are on the ship too, it was a quiet nice moment. I like when she pronounces fragile weirdly.

Idea for a story

I had a silly thing in mind where a bunch of characters ask Sam on a date to shoot their shot, and he ends up rejecting all of them, Fragile included albeit with the implications that it's sort of reciprocated but also things are complicated, and they both are fine with where they stand. I'll be honest, I thought I didn't really like any ships with Sam, but I really like his dynamic with Fragile, romantic or not.

I would've loved to think up something cool about the time she and Higgs worked together. We get a glimpse of Higgs' perspective on their relationship during that time, but very little of hers, only the stuff that's already clouded with her desire for revenge and not how she really felt at the time.

Unpopular opinion

Oh man, I haven't really seen enough ds takes to know what's considered unpopular.

Favorite relationship

Her and Sam. I really liked how respectful she was about his phobia, with everyone else there were points where they obviously forgot about it or used it for intimidation, and I kind of hated that since I do share it to some extent. She also kind of seemed to do that a few times, like when she was telling him about her history with Higgs, but even then she still kept her distance in a way that didn't feel the same as with other characters. I really liked that about her. Her and Higgs also. And I do think she's at least sort of friends with the rest of the main guys, the scenes of them sending Sam off and then rescuing him are so, so good.

Favorite headcanon

Ahh I don't think I have anything. I've read very few death stranding fics but there was this short one I really like where Fragile travels with Sam on bikes for a bit and they race. She also uses his shower a bunch and leaves or takes stuff around his rooms in it, I liked that idea a lot. It's the casual intimacy of something small, I feel like they understand each other in their love for solitude, so they can be alone together and be content with it.

[miss0atae]

Random thoughts about City of Stars episode 9:

I was so afraid this episode would show us the "break up" between Fueang and Krom. I was on the edge during the whole episode.

▪️ If I have to say one thing it is how good Fueang and Krom's relationship is. They really know how to maintain it well and never miss a chance to communicate their needs, fears and reassurances. It's not so common in series to see the main leads being able to take the time to really talk. Every time I thought misunderstandings would lead them to break up, the series found a way to prove me wrong and I loved every minutes. I hope they won't give them any "break up" and the series will continue to show how communication is the key.

▪️ Since Fueang helped Krom out of the club when he was drunk, he's been force to face online backlash from his fans but also from some fans who believe he has a "special" relationship with his friend Kor. I believe this episode handles well how sometimes fans can be too deluded in their own fantasies that they would feel betrayed if their favorites idols do anything outside of what they imagine they should do. This is very relevant of what can still happen to idols nowadays.

▪️ I felt sad for Krom because despite being warned of not checking anything written online about them, he still couldn't stop himself from reading the comments and was really hurt by them. I can try to imagine how difficult it is to face it. So many people already shared their stories about how they had to deal with hate online and how it affected their mental health. I'm just glad Krom found help in his family, friends but also his lover. As it is also the same for Fueang. I'm so glad they supported each other in this very complicated situation.

▪️ Fueang had to also deal with unscrupulous journalists who dug in his past to make him admit things he doesn't want to share with everyone. I found him very brave and patient when he answered their questions. Fueang is really a very good person. I love this character. The calm way he is always speaking with everyone is so smoothing. However, he also has his weaknesses and it seems one of the journalist found a story about his ex boyfriend and wants to make him admit he is gay while knowing it would have an impact on his career.

▪️ I think the story made a good deal about how your past relationship especially if you are queer can affect your career when you are a celebrity. Especially for Fueang who is not out and who always hide his relationships. We learnt about Sarut, his ex who seems to want to sell a video of them kissing when they were together in high school. The betrayal must hurt! Especially when you know that it was Sarut who broke up with Fueang. Why is he coming back now? We don't know yet. Is it about money? Because it's been a while and there is no other reason for Sarut to act this way…

▪️ Special mention to Kor, who is always ready to help Fueang but also faced difficulties in his previous relationship with Namsom because of fans or journalists who didn't accept them. It hurt Namsom and Kor doesn't want this to happen to his best friend. I believe it hit too close to his own situation to make him indifferent. I wish if Fueang and Krom find a way to stay together despite everything, it will make Kor and Namsom be brave enough to try again to be together. They both still love each other and they also deserves happiness.

I can't wait for next week to know what will happen now that the vengeful ex is back to stir up ill feelings.

[alittlefrenchtree]

Let me start by saying that I love the movie as it is and I think Matthew did a great job and did everything he could especially with the guidelines that he couldn't make more than two hours 🙏🏻 BUT, I miss the depth of Alex's character so much. I know that in the film, not having his parents divorced like in the book automatically takes away a part like his abandonment issues, and the conversations with Henry during the holidays while his parents were fighting, how he had only looked for Henry to talk to and tell him about how he had discovered that his father had left when he was a kid ❤️‍🩹 but I miss seeing his anxiety, his efforts since childhood to always be right, always better and the fear of being too much, of always doing something wrong and how he lowers his defenses only with Henry. I understand that it was impossible to put all this in the film but sometimes I feel that unlike Henry's character, Alex's character is less understood, is considered more superficial when he has a world inside him too and in my opinion too much of him was left out of the film ☹️ But I love how Taylor, despite everything, gave so many hints about the character and his anxiety with his body language, even though it wasn't totally addressed in the film. I don't think anyone understood Alex like him ❤️

I’m a bit behind with the asks so if you’ve send me things in the past couple of days, I’m (probably) not ignoring you and will answer at some point 💜

Yeah, movie!Alex not having divorced parents has made a lot of the character’s depths more subtle than they are in the book.

We can see most of the traits you’ve talked about through certain details and through Taylor’s acting. His little glimpses of anxiety. The (good) Texas memo he wrote without anyone asking for it. And how much he fights for people to actually read it. The precise knowledge he has on his mom’s career. How affected he is by being forced to step back. How eager he is to be used by his mom to work for his mom in Texas. It’s not exactly book!Alex but it’s something they could write around in a sequel, if they wanted. If they write Alex trying to marry Henry while he’s still in the royal family, there is a lot of potentiel anxiety, efforts to be always right and better (and fear of failing to please) to write about. I’m not sure they would go that way though? Movie!Alex feels very much boy next door, easy to be around and to love and I’m not sure how much they would want to... complicate(?) that. It’s something I actually liked about him (not knowing book!Alex beforehand) even if I would be happy to see him written with more depths as well.

That being said, they should really have add Alex’s immediate reaction to the leak. Show that outing someone like Henry (who were hiding) isn’t the only problem of the whole thing. That the invasion of Alex’s privacy was equally traumatizing, even if he had nothing to "hide" and was mentally ok(ish) in his life. More to play with for the fanfic writers, I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️

[horizon-verizon]

Alicent’s stans not only make her the ultimate victim of the patriarchal marriage but so many of them also stan Robert Baratheon. I mean, how can you claim to hate Viserys for raping and abusing Alicent but stan Robert... who abused, beat, and raped Cersei for decades ?

And how can you harp on Alicent and how complicated & terrible it is to be a mother to the product of your marital rape (which is true) but hate & vilifying Cersei for aborting her child with Robert & actively choosing who is going to be the father of her children ?

(As someone who was raped, if I had found out I was pregnant with the rapist, I would have aborted it without even thinking about it. People want a woman to relive her experience of being raped every time she look at the child but cry when she resents it so much that she neglects it ? Because that is what happen most of the time. They clearly never had to tear their body and their life apart to birth and raise something a rapist forced on them, denying their bodily autonomy even further).

First, I'm sorry you went through this and I hope you've gotten what you needed for it. May your rapist burn slowly or else die a painful death.

Second, yes, catch it. And I'll answer the rhetorical question with this: Cersei's inner workings are revealed/obvious to us and many people already feel she is an abusive, absolute evil that "takes advantage of the system" by hiding her children's parentage, whereas they give grace to Alicent because Alicent, like most noble women who marry kings, expected her def-Viserys-born sons to inherit over his daughter. Alicent follows the "right" rules, therefore she should be "compensated" [HotD] and "satisfied" [both book & show]. Alicent's thoughts, though, are missing from the narrative as her words are written in a history book instead as a POV chapter, so people can claim she was less or not evil behind a pretext of missing information so they can default back to her needing to be sufficiently compensated...when they should have concluded that, hey, maybe a woman shouldn't have to expect to gain power only through her children and in particular her sons? Maybe a woman's worth shouldn't be equal if she can birth male heirs to her male spouse?

Alicent's mistaken as nonthreatening [wrote "docile" here but that didn't catch my meaning], whereas Cersei has never been docile and has always been obviously non-demure--both women are obviously not docile, but Alicent's seen as so because, again, she has "done everything right", obeyed the system to that point, and has "nothing to show for it". She's seen as the rightfully rebellious one, when that fits Cersei more.

Robert fulfills that ideal masculine warrior type and is still graced with it after he gets fat because people also hate Rhaegar/Dany/the Targs, while Cersei dreams of her life with Rhaegar. Since it's obvious the text contrasts Rhaegar to Robert (the term is "foil" character), Cersei favoring Robert MUST be an absolute flaw of judgment on her morality or rational thinking. And NOT a reflection of her constricted dreams turning into resentful disappointment after falling into an abusive marriage.

[mx-pokirby]

Days with my Stepsister

is the anime we just finished, and trying to formulate our thoughts on.

Our feelings are middled, leaning positive. A soft recommend, if the premise/genre interests you.

It was slow and methodical, one might even say thoughtful, yet also clearly deliberate in painting the picture of the two leads' relation-ship. It felt very wistful at times, and even had an interesting style that you don't see all the time.

A lot of the episodes blended together for us. We couldn't really tell what the show was going for, for a lot of its run time, until individual scenes come along to re-contextualize why everything was actually important for "this thing happening right now as a result of it all". Whether you see that as a positive or negative, I'll leave to you.

Spoilers below

The whole "English Lit tutoring arc" didn't make sense to us as the direction the show decided to take, until Ayane climbed into bed with Asamura a couple episodes later, and we got a flashback/recap from her interpretation of events.

The pool break plot left us pondering its place until Asamura realized his feelings for Ayane once they'd both put in the effort to make it.

And lastly, probably most importantly, we couldn't tell whom the show was for, or what it was even trying to do/say until the very final scene. Which, for the record, we would consider the most impactful scene in the show.

Which pains me, because I wish we could've reached it about half a season ago, therefore having a whole extra half-season to explore the aftermath of it. It's not like a 2nd season seems likely. Maybe our tune would change if there was one, but alas.

Lemme lay it out for people who've not watched the anime. With this kind of anime, (you should know what I mean by that), they're basically required to pick one out of three targets audiences.

People who think X is gross, people who think X is hot because it is was it is, and people who are... I guess X "allies", as long as the relation isn't by blood?

(Sometimes works will try playing to both groups 1 and 2/3 at the same time but I don't understand why, other than money. Not like group 1 would normally watch something clearly made for 2/3 or vice versa)

Up until the climax of the show, we could not tell if the two leads were meant to get together, selling the story to group 3, or have them reach a mutual understanding and agree to stay friends at arm's distance, selling to group 1. (Which considering how it's literally the final scene, leaves no place for group 2, who were pulled in by the damn title)

Especially given the additional fact that SO MANY characters throughout the show, tease the two leads about "Why aren't you interested in each other?", only for the two leads to be like "What? No." in a normal human way, not even an cliche "I'm hiding that I have a crush" type flustered response; implying all of society (that we see) would be cool with it/it's not taboo, and they're both bottling everything up for no reason, but WHATEVER

Idk if the fact it literally could've gone either way at the end makes it a poor story or an interesting one. I don't feel equipped to answer that for you. Maybe I didn't have a clear enough grasp on their personalities by the end to know the choices they were most likely to make, or maybe it was written that way on purpose. I accept the possibility it's a simple skill issue on my part.

But they do get together. Thus, the show was for group 3 all along. Sort of. It's complicated, just like their relationship as a whole. The scene where they communicate their feelings like normal people, actually working through it and trying to understand what path will work best for the both of them, is sweet and tense while also relieving after a whole season of build-up.

But it's just so weird, to not know until it's over whether you were being strung along or not. I sure would've loved to know sooner, both so I could make sure I'm on its level, and also, again, because I so so so wish there were literally any time left to actually see their relationship develop now that they know they have feelings for each other.

Let's assume I'm in group 3. I learn about this show and I watch it, hoping to see just equally juicy & complicated relationship drama. Except there is none. There's only the promise that stuff will happen, later, off-screen. And damn if it wasn't a well-written promise. I doubt one would expect the "relationship drama" you hoped to invest yourself in was merely two characters, in their own heads, figuring out if they even want to be in a relationship, without the others' knowledge, for like 11.5 episodes.

But again, you still need all that build-up, or at least most of it, or else the payoff lacks satisfaction. But still, you want to avoid trapping your audience in nail-biting "You both have all the pieces you need, please just talk to each other already!" hellish suspense for multiple episodes. So...

Idk, I'm rambling and I think I've elaborated enough on my point.

Lastly I just wanna say, the concept of social taboo is obviously inherently linked to stories that cover this concept. So it's always odd to me when so few of these works ever bother to actually ask the question "But why tho?" in both cases when the work is arguing for / against the idea.

Given that it's a taboo, both sides will often include a character claiming "It's wrong!" regardless if the audience is meant to agree with them or not. And it's always treated as a one-and-done point.

There's never any elaboration on the initial claim, no justifications for why its wrong, no counter-arguments why the one they're speaking to believes it shouldn't be, nothing. Even if I disagree with the work's argument, I would still like an argument either way.

Help me understand why you believe what you believe; I feel like that's just obviously good storytelling. Challenge me with beliefs counter to my own, well-informed or otherwise.

[ari-writes-things]

Writer Questionnaire!

hi, thank you for the open tag @theverumproject!

How long have you had your writing tumblr/writeblr? A fast and loose estimate is fine!

Only for like a month.

What led you to create it?

I've recently been trying to find a community of writers since few of my friends are into writing.

What's your favourite thing about the writeblr community?

I love the way people are so passionate about so many different things!

What's one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

I can be just a little bit shy sometimes about making new friends. When I don't know people super well (or honestly even when I do) I get really nervous about being the first one to start a conversation. Even if I don't initiate interactions with you, know that I want to chat; I'm just a little nervous.

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

"Write with me" type stuff or just little snippets from your writing that people thought were bangers.

Which wips or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

I have only one WIP that I've touched for the last six months and it is unnamed, but it's my queer romance novel!

Do you remember what inspired them/what got you started?

I was talking with my friends about how I've never actually written any queer fiction despite being queer myself and doing a lot of writing. I also have been super into Y/A novels, especially the poetic sounding ones about identity and familial relationships so that really inspired my current work.

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

Truly, anywhere from one to five hours a day?

When someone asks the dreaded, “what do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

Realistic fiction.

Name any characters you created. side characters, protagonists, antagonists, characters who’ve never been written, the first original abomination you ever pulled from your ass; whomever you’d like

Ema Aguilar: She's from an old WIP with fantasy elements. Ema is the only character I've thought up to have wings and she's one of the youngest characters in the story (12). The story takes place in pretty much a war/apocalypse situation (it's complicated) and Ema is hiding out with a group of older kids. I have this scene (brief suicide tw) I've never gotten to, because I've never actually written her on paper, where Ema is caught throwing herself off the edge of a cliff over and over before catching herself with her wings and flying back up. In my mind, she's trying to kill herself but is too scared to follow through with it because her big issue is that she becomes paralysed by her own fear.

Who's the most unhinged?

Blair. I think they have committed crimes. Not many that I've officially written down, but they have totally committed crimes.

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

Riley. She's the only character I've ever written with neurodivergence in mind and I love the way I describe her thoughts. She's basically me, just having grown up under different circumstances.

Do you ever cringe at them?

Yeah, sometimes..

How much control do you feel you have over your characters? do they ever “write themselves,” refuse to cooperate, or do things you didn’t expect? To what degree? Are some less cooperative than others?

I personally feel like I have a lot of control over my characters, but purely because I storyboard before I write so I know where I'm going and don't get lost. The only way I can work on long form projects is with a storyboard to guide me. My characters do "write themselves" sometimes in that the little things I haven't planned give them so much more flavour and personality, but I haven't ever felt like they've gotten away from me.

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters? and do you have a preferred means of receiving said questions? for example, as asks, as replies, as reblogs, as tag notes, as comments on ao3, etc.

Oh my gosh, do I ever! YES YES YES!! If you see this, ask me questions please! Send me asks or replies or reblogs!! I wanna talk about my little brain children so much!

What makes you want to follow another writeblr account? Do you follow ‘em as you see ‘em, or take time scoping out the blog to make sure you align with its content? Do you follow based on wips, or vibes?

I see if they post at all about their original works mostly. I don't really follow blogs that only post actual excerpts, poems, or short stories, though. I don't really follow for the WIPs of other writers, but for their thoughts!

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

I get nervous so no, not often, but I do sometimes!

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

Unfortunately, I don't know their characters well enough to :(

Tagging @cb-writes-stuff, @zariahthewitch, and anyone who wants to do this too!