#I have so many complicated feelings about Hide and how his character is written I have no idea where to even begin lmao | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dailynnt · 16 days ago

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FRIENDS WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE

⊹ Summary: Jungkook and you, his childhood friend, live together in an apartment, sharing space as roommates. Your relationship, built on years of friendship, is gradually becoming strained by growing sexual tension. You decide to become friends with benefits, trying not to complicate your feelings. But Jungkook's world is not so simple. When you begin to realize that he is hiding something, you open the veil of his double life - a world of mafia, criminal activity, and risk that could ruin not only your deal, but everything you valued in each other.

⊹ Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader

⊹ Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hoseok.

⊹ 🔞 Age restrictions: 18+

⊹ 👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻 Relationships: ⚤

⊹📕 Number of part: 17/?

⊹ 🖇️ Tags: best friends, friends with benefits, slow longing, sexual tension, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, drunken sex, inexperienced main character, mafia au, illegal trade, deaths of minor characters, weapons, swear words. Tags will be added as the story is written.

⊹ 👩🏼‍💻 From the author: It seems that Jungkook and Y/N already realize how they feel about each other. Tensions arise between them because of Doohoon's actions. How can they cope with what is happening? Thank you very much to everyone who reads 💜

⊹ 🫂Dedication: For you, my love @myjungkookthighs. You know that I appreciate you very much and love you🥰💜

⊹ ⚠️ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!

⊹ 📋Tag list: @myjungkookthighs, @notsevenwithyou (If anyone wants to be in my tag list let me know)

≣ Chapter Index ↓

Part 11. Not your girlfriend. Not your boyfriend.

Another week passed. Jungkook was coming home less and less. He was literally gone for days at a time. He was so engrossed in his work that he even called you only once a day. Sometimes twice, but these conversations were just a few questions and a few answers.

In a week it will be Christmas. And you haven't talked to him about how to plan the celebration. Does he agree to go to Suwon or maybe you together can go to a party at his friends' place. He's not going to work on Christmas Day like he has for the last two weeks, is he?

You don't know why he's working so hard. Maybe it's really a lot of work, but is it that so important that he doesn't come home for several days?

Jungkook's absence was making you irritated. The fact that you couldn't talk to him on the phone made you even more irritated. You could have gone to see him if you knew where he worked. It was also annoying that he would call just to ask if you were okay, and ask you what you were doing almost every minute. That's it. That's all he cares about.

He reassured you by telling you that Doohoon wasn't following you. But you didn't believe Jungkook. How can he explain what he knows about your life together? And his constant interrogation about what you did, who you were with, what you were doing seems like an exaggeration. He's even careful tell you where you need to go alone and where it's better to be in a company. It's annoying.

On Saturday night, when Jungkook was away for the second day, you decided to call him to find out when he was going to come home and if he had any plans to come home at all. There was no food at home. You were not inspired to cook and you were going to go to the store to buy dinner. Before you do this, you ask your friend what he would like to have for dinner.

"Hi." - You greeted him first when you heard him pick up the phone.

"Hi, baby." - Jungkook said in a tired but gentle voice.

"Will you be home tonight?" - You asked almost emotionlessly. You were angry with Jungkook. And there were many reasons why.

"Umm..." - Jungkook thought. "Yeah. I'm going home now." - He finally answered.

"I'm going to go to the store. I don't want to make dinner. What would you like?" - You continued to speak colorlessly.

"I'll be back in twenty minutes. We can go out for dinner together. Do you want to go to Kyochon Chiken? We were going to go there." - Jungkook suggested. You felt happy for a moment, but then you got angry. It hadn't been two weeks since he remembered.

"I don't want to go. I'll eat at home." - You refusing. You don't want to go anywhere with him. He disappears for days. He doesn't communicate normally and now he's decided that as soon as he offers you something, immediately run to him. No. That's not gonna happen.

"Why?" - Jungkook was surprised. You could have told him the reason directly, but you decided to make excuses at the expense of critical days.

"I have pain in my lower belly. I'm also not in the mood. I'll go to the convenience store near our house and get something to eat. You didn't say what you wanted." - You answered irritably.

"Your lower belly hurts? Are you having your period?" - Jungkook asked with concern.

"Yes." - You said shortly.

"Then don't go outside. It's cold and dark out there. Do you want me to go buy something, or do you want to order delivery?" - Jungkook suggested. You exhaled a sigh. It sounded so good, but you protested inside. You didn't want to do what he wanted.

"I'm already dressed and I'm going downstairs, so I'll go by myself. For the last time, what are you having for dinner?" - You said. In fact, you were still sitting on the couch, but you had to answer in such a way that it wouldn't be like Jungkook wanted.

"You're a stubborn girl. You need to be punished." - Jungkook said playfully. You wanted to switch off. His flirtatious voice was annoying.

"I see. Bye." - You hung up without waiting for him to answer. Irritably, you dressed, cursing the jacket that for some reason fit you terribly today and the hat that had disappeared somewhere. You pulled the hood over your head and went to the store.

It was really cold and dark outside, despite the streetlights. It was snowing quietly, and it fell silently under your feet, but as soon as you stepped on it, it made a noise. You wrapped yourself up tightly in the jacket and walked quickly, towards the store, trying to get it over with as soon as possible.

To calm your nerves with something tasty, you bought a whole bag of groceries. A kampab, two bento boxes (ready-made sets with rice, fried chicken and side dishes), three sandwiches with egg, ham and cheese. You also bought your favorite chips with butter and honey, cheese sticks that Jungkook loved, a carton of banana milk, choco pai, and chocolate brownies. All of this was supposed to cheer you up in your downcast mood.

You returned home quickly, because you never liked to go shopping for a long time. Whatever caught your eye in the store immediately ended up in your shopping cart.

Jungkook was already home. You saw his shoes and the jacket he wore the last time he was home. The water was running in the bathroom. Your heart was beating fast, but you didn't quite know if it was because you were annoyed or because you were going to see your best friend after so many days.

You took the packages to the kitchen and began to take them apart. Jungkook came out of the shower and saw you and immediately walked in your direction. With your peripheral vision, you saw his figure approaching. He was dressed in wide-leg sweatpants and a large black T-shirt.

Jungkook came up to you and hugged you from behind. You continued to put out the groceries without paying attention to him. He buried his face in your forearm and held it.

"Let me go. I want to heat up dinner." - She said coldly, finishing with the groceries.

"I missed you." - Jungkook says and his voice vibrates on your skin. Jungkook's hugs are always pleasant and welcome. However, you are hurt and don't want him to touch you at all. You put a little strength in your arms and pull out of his embrace. Jungkook watched you in surprise. He had guessed on the phone that you were angry with him. He seems to know the reason why, too.

You put two servings of bento boxes in the microwave while slicing kimpab. You notice that Jungkook is as silent as you are. He walked over to the table where you were preparing dinner and looked at your face.

"Why are you offended?" - He asked with a soft smile. You ignored your friend. He looked down to follow your movements and then looked back up at you. "Baby, you have to tell. In order for everything to be good between us, you must speak." - Jungkook insisted.

"I'm taking an example from you. Is it nice, right , when you ask something and be ignored?" - You answer indifferently. But your heart is pounding. You are holding back your emotions, which threaten to burst out of you at any moment.

"I never ignore you." - Jungkook says in his defense. "Just tell me what I did wrong and I'll explain it to you."

"You're all doing wrong." - You say. Jungkook exhales nervously. The same words again.

"What does that mean, Y/N? What am I not doing?" - Jungkook asks, trying not to lose his temper. You're not saying anything. After slicing the kimbap, you take it to the table. For a moment, the memory of the last time you had sex with Jungkook pops into your head. Because he was right at this table. You were lying on it naked and Jungkook fucked you so well. You quickly shove these thoughts away and turn to the microwave to pick up the food.

Jungkook is silently watching you do this and it's starting to piss him off. He has a lot of trouble at work, and he doesn't want to make any trouble with you too.

"Honey, let's talk normally. I don't want to fight..." - Jungkook asks you, but you abruptly stop halfway to the table with chopsticks in hand.

"I'm not going to fight with you!" - You say sharply. "I'm just annoyed that you don't tell me anything. You've been gone for week. Now you're following me instead of Doohoon. What the hell is going on? Why don't you ever tell me anything? I ask you a thousand questions and you don't answer any of them." - You say quickly and indignantly. Jungkook looks at you, thinking about what you said.

So he really doesn't tell you anything, ignores the questions you ask, and doesn't come home. Because you're not supposed to know what's going on. Doohoon is pesters a lot to him, and this causes problems at work for Jungkook. He solves them without Namjoon knowing where they came from. He's really watching you, and it's not just the daily interrogation on the phone, but his people are doing everything to keep you safe. You're not supposed to know that either.

He ignores your questions to save you from unnecessary anxiety. He does everything in his power, but then he comes home and meets you. Hurt and angry with him. This all puts pressure on Jungkook.

"Okay. What exactly do you want to know?" - Jungkook exhales. He tries to answer your questions to calm you down.

"Tell me the truth. Did Doohoon follow us?" - You ask, afraid to know the truth.

"He's not anymore." - Jungkook answers. You feel irritated. It was expected, but he was hiding it.

"So he was watching and you didn't say anything. Why?" - You ask.

"Because I didn't want you to be nervous about it. I told you that I would take care of everything. And I did. You don't have to think about it." - Jungkook replies. You look at him and feel the anger boiling inside.

"I'm not a fucking kid who can't handle it. I'm an adult and I can take care of myself. I know taekwondo. So even the fact that this asshole is following me doesn't make me afraid of him." - You say sharply. Jungkook nods his head, agreeing with you. Yes, you know how to protect yourself. But Doohoon is much more dangerous than you can imagine. He's not the man you used to know.

"I know you're not a child. But I could see that it scared you. I just wanted you not to worry about it." - Jungkook explains.

"You're not my daddy to think about such things." - You say angrily. Jungkook is annoyed that you're acting so arrogant.

"Don't be like that. Doohoon is a rare piece of shit. He just showed up out of the blue and woo to you. He can hurt you. I'm supposed to just sit back and watch?" - Jungkook can't take it anymore. You freeze, because you were just about to sit down at the table.

"Are you jealous? I'm not your girlfriend, so you don't have to nervous about Doohoon. I wouldn't accept his advances anyway, and you know it. But hurt me? He's a shit, yes, but he would never hurt me." - You say as you sit down at the table and don't see Jungkook almost freak out at your words.

"Y/N!" - Jungkook calls out to you, menacingly. "Don't say those words to me. Doohoon is dangerous and I know it. You're important to me and I won't let anyone hurt you."

"Yeah." - You say mockingly. You're amused by the fact that Jungkook is jealous you to Doohoon. "You can defend me, please. But you don't have the right to hide things from me. If there's a matter that concerns me, you have to tell me. I'm telling you again, you're not my boyfriend or my daddy to decide for me what I should know and what I shouldn't." - You start eating without waiting for Jungkook. His portion is standing next to you, getting cold. Jungkook stands somewhere behind you in absolute silence. The only sound is you tapping your chopsticks.

"So, since I'm not your boyfriend and definitely not your daddy, I guess I need to stay out of your business. You're a big girl, you can handle it yourself." - Jungkook says with resentment in her voice.

"Yes." - You say nonchalantly, not even turning to him. "You shouldn't control where I am and who I'm with. Not tell me where to go and when to stay home. I've noticed how you've been doing that lately. Just because you fuck me doesn't mean you're in charge of me." - Jungkook freezes at your words. So you don't need his concern. That's what you think about all of this. He turns around and walks out. You follow him with your eyes. Jungkook takes his jacket off the hanger and gets dressed. You feel yourself pounding inside. Is he going to leave?

"Where are you going?" - You ask as you stand up from the table and watch him put on his sneakers. He doesn't say anything and you laugh hysterically. Is he offended? Is he really offended? You are the one who is offended. Maybe you were a little harsh, but you had to defend your boundaries.

"Jungkook..." - You call out to him, but he doesn't seem to hear you. Finally, he picks up his phone and the keys that were on the front table and slams the door with a loud bang. You are stunned.

***

You cannot sleep. Five hours have passed since Jungkook left. You lie in bed for almost two hours, trying to sleep, but you can't. Jungkook is gone and you don't know if he will come back.

You can't write to him because you are angry that he ran away. You want to write because you're worried about where he might be, but you probably won't. He could have go to Jimin or Taehyung. Or go to work. There are many places he could have gone.

At some point, you start to think that you were too harsh in your statements. On the one hand, you sounded like a real bitch. But you think you were right. On the other hand, you can understand Jungkook. He has always cared about you. And his actions are completely logical.

But you're annoyed that it's more like taking care of a child than taking care of your condition. You're an adult now and can handle such news. Like "someone is watching". It's not pleasant, it scares you a little, but it's not the end of the world, which you would not survive.

You are already silent about the fact that he has been gone for days. You miss him. Fucking critical days, they made you such a bitch and are to blame for your hysteria.

An hour passes by. And almost as you're falling asleep, you hear the sound of the combination lock. You lie there, hesitating whether to go out to him. Less than a minute later, you hear something falling. You immediately get out of bed and go to the living room.

Jungkook is standing at the front door, holding up his phone. You look at him and notice that he's leaning on the walls, trying to stand up. He's drunk.

Seriously drunk? Did he get drunk after a fight? Or did he just get drunk because he wanted to? You didn't know for sure.

Jungkook noticed you looking at him. His gaze was tired, his eyes slightly closed. His cheeks were a little red, either from the cold outside or from the alcohol. Perhaps two options are correct. His jacket was unbuttoned. He smiled slightly when he saw you, but it wasn't a sweet, playful Jungkook smile. It was sarcastic and hard.

"Are you drunk?" - You asked, although you wanted to state a fact.

"Do I look sober?" - Jungkook answered with a question to a question. You felt irritated. He took off his jacket, took off his sneakers and staggered away walked toward the couch, passing you. He didn't even look at you.

"I didn't realize you were so impressionable." - You say ironically, turning in Jungkook's direction and approaching the couch. "Do you think it's okay to run away, get drunk, and come back like this?"

"None of your faking business." - Jungkook says with a smile. He speaks lazily with an emphasis on the last words. Is he deliberately annoying the hell out of you? "I drink if I want, I run away if I want. You're not my girlfriend or mommy to worry about that." - Jungkook to mimic you. You want to punch him in the face and wipe off that horribly cocky smile. Anger captivates you, making you tremble. But you laughed at the way he used your own words about you.

"I guess. Good, so do what you want." - You say finally, and you're about to leave. But Jungkook grabs your hand and you fall into his lap. He wraps his arms around your hips and holds you tight. You can smell the aroma of alcohol mixed with his perfume. "What are you doing?" - You protest. You wriggle as much as you can, but you can't get free. It must be Jungkook's favorite thing to keep you captive.

"You were a real bitch today." - Jungkook says to you when you give up on his lap. But his words make you even angrier.

"What?" - You ask angrily, turning to face him. Jungkook is close, and you feel butterflies in your stomach at the closeness. You haven't been together for a long time. He smiles defiantly because he sees you peeking at his lips. Jungkook is looking at your lips too, but longer than you. He wants to kiss them. But he's so mad at you for what you said to him.

"Want I fuck you now?" - Your best friend asks you. You're taken aback. You don't understand why he suddenly suggested this. He looks at you with desire and you don't know what to do. It both pisses you off and makes you want to agree on it. But, you are on your critical days and you can't do it anyway.

"You're crazy. Let me go!" - You shout, trying to break free again. Jungkook doesn't loosen his grip.

"Why? We don't care about each other anymore. We can fuck without that, right?" - Jungkook provokes you again by saying that.

"You're an idiot. Why are you twisting everything I said? I meant you should be honest with me when it comes to me. I trust you and you hide everything from me. I could have not told you about Doohoon, but I did. I didn't hide anything! And you! You're out and about, you're not home. I miss you, you idiot, and what do you do? You remember me for two minutes a day. And now you come all caring and tell me you were protecting me?" - You shouted at Jungkook. He listened to you and couldn't help but think about how cute you were when you were angry with him. So attractive and hot. He looks at your face and can't stop thinking that he seems to be falling in love with you.

You stopped screaming and fell silent. You were breathing heavily and trying to compose yourself. You were shaking all over.

"I really have a reason for not telling you. I have always protected you and I will always protect you. I made a promise to your dad..." - You laughed hysterically when you heard about that promise.

It was when you were 18 years old. When Jungkook came to your house to pick you up to celebrate your birthday. Your dad probably realized that Jungkook was a grown man and that you had become an adult too. So he made him promise not to hurt you. That he would take care of you and that no one could hurt you, including him.

"So what..." - You said with irritation.

"You should have understood me." - Jungkook complains. Maybe he's right. But it's really annoying that he didn't tell you anything at all. "Doohoon installed a camera outside our apartment and bugged my phone. That's how he knew we were living together." - Jungkook confesses to you. You thot who wanted to know the truth.

"A camera? Is he a sick fuck?" - You ask, feeling horrified.

"Yes, he is. He thinks I'm his enemy. So he might use you to hurt me. I'm worried that he might actually do that. That's why I'm watching you so closely. Do you understand? When I say he's dangerous, I mean he is." - Jungkook finally finishes. You didn't expect this. You knew Doohoon was crazy, but to install a camera... You relax in Jungkook's arms.

"If you had told me everything right away, this wouldn't have happened." - You say, alluding to the fight that happened twice today. "Where did he set up the camera?" - You are curious to know. Jungkook is silent, definitely not willing to tell you. But your menacing look convinces him.

"On a pole, facing my bedroom window." - Jungkook answers. You feel like everything inside of you is breaking. Oh, my God. You've been having sex in his bedroom. Does he really know about that?

"Jungkook..." - You're stunned. "We had sex there. Did he...?" - You can't say it out loud.

"He knows we're fucking." - Jungkook replies, completely calm. It doesn't seem to bother him. You look at him with your mouth open in horror.

"What do we do now?" - You ask.

"Nothing. What can you do about it? Let he know." - Jungkook answers you with a cheerful voice. You didn't share his joy at all.

"What if he tells someone?" - You are worried.

"Who? He doesn't know my company. Probably I think this information is more beneficial for him to use you as leverage against me. No one who knows me cares who I fuck." - Jungkook says, somewhat nonchalantly. You remain silent, not knowing what to make of this. Maybe nobody cares, but there are your friends. If they somehow find out, what will they think of you two?

Jungkook touches your cheek with his hand. He sees how upset you are about all this. That's why he took care of you. But you are restless.

"And now? Camera none? He's not tapping your phone?" - You are worried.

"No. It's all cleaned up." - Jungkook assures you. You exhale a deep breath. What a day. Crazy. You are silent for a while and Jungkook is the first to break the silence.

"So you missed me." - He suddenly says, remembering what you were screaming. You blinked and turned away. Did you really do that? Did you confess to him when you were under the influence of emotions?

"Did I say that?" - You asked. Jungkook smiled slyly.

"Yes. You said you miss me because I'm not home for days." - He remembered. You didn't know whether to admit it or not. But you had already said it out loud. Is there any point in denying it?

"I don't know. I could have said anything out of anger." - You decided not to confess. Jungkook laughed. You didn't expect him to put you on the couch with one deft movement and push you down from above. He is very close, and you can't bring yourself to stand it. You look at his lips, which you want to kiss so desperately. But your pride can't let you do that.

"So do you want that I to fuck you today?" - Jungkook purrs against your lips. He's waiting for an answer.

"First you have to promise me that you'll always tell me the truth from now on." - You demand, speaking directly into his lips. Jungkook does nothing for a moment. And then he touches your neck with my lips. He's perfectly positioned between your legs. His lips leave wet trails on your neck from your jaw to your chin. Lazy, gentle kisses that make you want more. They're hot and you can smell the alcohol on Jungkook's breath. Which seems to be intoxicating you, too. But you're on your period. You can't have sex tonight. Jungkook kisses your earlobe, biting down lightly. You enjoy his caress.

"I promise to tell you the truth." - Jungkook promises. He pulls away from you to say something. "I'm sorry, baby. It's all my fault." - You hear his words and your heart breaks. You put your hand on his face.

"I'm sorry too for saying mean things to you. I appreciate you and I value your concern." - You say sincerely. "Just be honest and I will always listen to you." - You say.

Jungkook doesn't answer, he takes your hand in his and kisses the middle of your palm. His soft lips kiss your hands and you feel those butterflies for the second time that day. God you can’t fall in love with Jungkook, but he does things with to you. You don't even know if you haven't already done.

After giving your palm a few gentle kisses, he leans down and kisses you on the lips. And it's not a passionate kiss. It's a caring, tender, and almost loving kiss. His tongue tastes of whiskey. You wrap your arms around his neck and respond with no less tenderness. But as soon as your tongues touch, the kisses easily turn passionate. Jungkook can't kiss you any other way because he wants you. He's also missed you on his lips. He needs you, damn it.

Jungkook pushes you a few times, rubbing his already hard length into your pussy. You can't tell if you're wet from his kiss and thrusts. You're on your second day of your period, so maybe it's just blood.

"Let's make up for real." - Jungkook offers with a sly smile as he pulls away from your sweet, plump lips.

"I'm on my period. We can't..." - You say regretfully. You would never turn down sex with Jungkook, but right now you have no choice.

"Why?" - He asks, not worried about it at all. You raise your eyebrows.

"What do you mean? I have blood in there, you know..." - You explain.

"Oh, that's great." - Jungkook says and slides his hand under your shirt. He feels your breasts and squeezes them lightly. You try not to let out a moan. "Cause I can come inside you." - He says right into your lips.

You freeze at his words. You hear your pulse pounding in your ears. Your heart is pounding like crazy. You thought you couldn't have sex during your period. But Jungkook assures you that it is possible. Do you want him to do it? Yes, one hundred percent yes. Jungkook kisses you again with such passion that you already want him harder than you ever wanted.

"Let's go to the bedroom." - You say, agreeing. Jungkook is triumphant. He gets up from the couch and grabs your hand. In one push, you're on your feet, but a moment later he throws you over his shoulder and holds you by the buttocks.

"I could walk on my feet!" - You shout at his ass, which is almost next to your face. But your protests go unanswered.

Jungkook carries you into his bedroom and carefully, as if you weigh nothing, lifts you off his shoulder. He puts you on the bed and climbs on top of you. He kisses you on the lips, filling your mouth with his tongue. Your kiss is greedy, deep, hot. Your friend goes down to kiss your neck. He kisses you needily and at some point bites you to taste your skin. You get high on his actions. This man is just your drug.

Jungkook takes off his T-shirt and sweatpants. He keeps his Calvin Klein boxers on until to undress you. You think that his sheets will be stained with blood and not only that. But with how Jungkook quickly undresses you, seems he doesn't care.

You are naked in front of Jungkook in just half a minute. He looks at you and he like it’s so much see your naked appearance. Your nipples are erect and they needed him to kiss them.

He goes down to your breasts and takes one of the nipple into his mouth. He sucks on it, swirls his tongue around it as if to taste it. A moment later, when he releases the nipple, he bites it. You grab the sheets to numb the pain. You feel more pleasure than pain. You wish Jungkook would fuck you as soon as possible. The other nipple gets the same attention, but Jungkook doesn't bite it.

"Come on, Kook... come inside me." - You beg as he kisses you between your breasts and lowers you to your stomach. He would like to taste you, but not this time.

His rigid length also wants to be free of tightness. So he listens to you without question and is already taking off his underwear.

You see Jungkook's cock bounce as he crawls toward you. It's erect. Cum is dripping from the end of it. You're impatient. You want him to fill you as soon as possible. Jungkook doesn't stretch you like he usually does. He immediately puts his erect cock at your entrance. He promises to enter slowly so you won't feel any pain.

When Jungkook plunges into your centimeter by centimeter, you won't feel any pain. Maybe it's because of a strong desire, or because of your period, or that he is very careful. Even though he didn't stretch you, it was the first time you felt him enter you painlessly. You are ecstatic.

You moan at the feeling of his cock filling you to the brim. When Jungkook is completely inside you, you feel him twitching inside you. The sensations are crazy.

Jungkook moves after you're both used to it. Your eyes are closed in delight and incredible pleasure. He fucks you deeply and slowly, giving you completely different sensations. Every time you feel like you're going absolutely unhinged. But all the other times just can't compare. Jungkook moans over you, too.

You clutch the sheets in your hand again because you can't stand this bliss. Jungkook finds your hands and raises them above your head. He intertwines your hands and you dig your nails into his palms. You moan because it feels so damn good.

"Open your eyes." - He asks in a hoarse voice. You hear his request and open them. You look at each other with adoration. Jungkook's eyes are full of lust. You will never forget that look. Jungkook kisses you deeply, pushing his cock inside you.

His thrusts are just as slow and deep. You are going obsessed from this sex. You moan into Jungkook's mouth and he starts moving faster. He stops kissing you. You don't close your eyes and neither does he. You look at each other again.

"Mine." - He tells you again. "Only mine." - You think you're going lost your head. These words during sex like this will drive you crazy. You realize that you are really his. And you just can't be with anyone else but him. You want to be his. You want to belong to him completely and finally.

"Yours." - You breathe out. He kisses you again. You're drunk on his whiskey-flavored kisses, or you're drunk on feelings. Jungkook speeds up his movements, moaning along with you. You feel that your orgasm is close. Your walls tighten around Jungkook's cock and you cry out his name.

Jungkook cums after you, fucking you until his cum fills you. It's hot and spills inside you. His cock twitches and after a few seconds, it softens. Jungkook falls down on top of you, exhausted. You feel his hot breath on your shoulder.

You together lie there for a few minutes, trying to catch your breath.

Jungkook gets up and kisses you on the lips. Gently, tasting each of your lips. He finally pulls away and smiles.

"You're gorgeous, baby." - Jungkook compliments you. But he did all the work.

"You're amazing." - You tell him. He nibbles on your lips and stands up. He slowly pulls out of you and you feel the blood mixed with Jungkook's cum dripping onto your legs and the sheets.

"You and I have made a mess." - Jungkook says as he gets out of bed. You sit up straight and see the blood. It doesn't surprise you, you both knew this would happen.

"Making the bed at two in the morning again." - You groan in frustration.

"It's almost three." - Jungkook corrects you. You turn a disappointed look at him and he laughs. "Go take a shower, baby. I'll clean it up." - He promises. You can't help but smile. You also get out of bed and walk over to Jungkook to give him a grateful kiss. You kiss him, reaching for his height. When you run out of air, you part your lips.

"Baby, is it okay that I'm drunk?" - Jungkook asks, worried.

"I think I'm drunk too from your tongue. Therefore, if we are both drunk, everything is fine." - You're joking. Jungkook smiles.

You go to the shower and think about nothing but what Jungkook said. "Mine." The way he said it affects you so much. It’s impossible. Have you really fallen in love with your best friend?

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#jungkook x reader #bts #bts jungkook #jungkook #jungkook x f!reader #jungkook smut #jungkook friends with benefits #bts mafia au

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anomalyaly · 1 month ago

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The Nut Cracked

Summary: Sebastian Sallow doesn't understand muggle holiday traditions. But this one, he could get on top of.

OR, a spoof of 'The Nutcracker', but make it feral.

NSFW. ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+. MINORS DNI.

AO3/Wattpad

3k words. Written for a NSFW discord server event: The Naughty List.

This is NOT canon to the 'Secrets' universe hahaha or is it

Tags: Explicit sexual content, objectophilia if you squint, seventh year, orgasm denial, Sebastian has blue balls and doesn't know how to handle it

Sebastian didn't understand muggle holiday traditions.

The brightly decorated Ravenclaw girl presented him with a small parcel that he had initially been excited to unwrap. But, as much as he loved seeing the look on Elsie's face as she handed it to him, he couldn't understand why, out of all the gifts she could have chosen, she had picked out an odd-looking wooden doll.

"It's a nutcracker!" She beamed. "My parents can never be bothered to figure out what to get me or my siblings, so they usually send us a whole slew of stuff."

"And...you saw an old man doll and it reminded you of me?" Sebastian turned it around in his hands questioningly. He tried his hardest to seem grateful, but truthfully, he was utterly confused.

She scoffed. "It's not an old man doll. It's a traditional gift that originated in Germany to ward off evil spirits and –"

"Evil spirits?" He laughed. "The only evil spirit we have to worry about during this time of year is Peeves."

"Well, if you don't want it –"

He abruptly yanked his arm away from her and held the wooden figure closer to himself. "I never said I didn't want it. I just think it could be more...appealing."

She tilted her head, her brows furrowed in confusion. "How so?"

Sebastian grinned slyly and picked up his wand, waving it in front of the nutcracker and transfiguring it to look like a girl with wavy, dark hair and freckles dusted along her nose and cheeks. He held it up proudly. "There. Much prettier to look at."

He was met with an eye roll as she stood from the couch and stretched. "If you say so."

Sebastian hadn't been particularly secretive about his feelings for Elsie in recent months. In fact, he thought he was being blatantly obvious, doing everything short of outright telling her due to her relationship status being a bit complicated. Even so, he did his best to hide his irritation every time she brushed off another one of his comments as a sarcastic quip.

It certainly hadn't helped that the other day, she had trudged back from another one of her adventures in the Highlands sopping wet from the snow, the already thin material of her blouse nearly transparent as it clung tightly to her form, her nipples peaked from the cold. He had spent half of the night restless, the other half with his hand wrapped around his cock every time the tantalizing image replayed itself in his mind.

The castle was nearly empty as the two of them spent Christmas at Hogwarts together, and all he could focus on was how frustrated he had felt.

"I should turn in for the night," Elsie sighed, glancing at the time. "I promised Lydia that we would still leave milk and cookies out for Father Christmas. She's very adamant about keeping to tradition."

Sebastian bit the inside of his cheek as he forced himself not to beg her to stay with him for the night. It wasn't like the prefects or professors cared to parade the halls during the holiday with so many students gone. But she likely didn't see him that way. His streak of terrible luck would have him falling for someone he couldn't have.

"Alright," he murmured, hiding the disappointment in his tone. He held up the wooden doll. "Thanks for the, uh...gift?"

She grinned. "Have no fear. We'll exchange our actual gifts tomorrow. But," she tapped the nutcracker's brunette head, "I suppose now, you'll have the nutcracker version of me to help keep you safe."

Sebastian's eyes followed the sway of her hips as she headed toward the gate of the Undercroft. He quickly averted them when she turned back to look at him. "Happy Christmas, Sebastian. See you tomorrow?"

He nodded. "Yeah, see you. Happy Christmas."

She gave him one last soft smile, and the gate clanged shut behind her. Sebastian sighed. Guess I ought to head back to my common room for the evening. He grabbed the tiny doll and sauntered back to his dorm, feeling even more tense than he had been hours before.

It was going to be a long two weeks.

Sebastian awoke the next morning, exhaustion creeping in. He needed to get control of his thoughts before he –

"Good morning!"

A light, feminine voice chirped at him from his bedside. The rest of the dorm room was noticeably empty — Sebastian assumed Ominis had left for breakfast early, not wanting to wait while he slept in.

It still didn't explain why Elsie was standing by his bed on Christmas morning. She would never sneak into the Slytherin common room without good reason, let alone his bedroom, even with how often he had teased and prodded her to spend time with him there.

He rubbed his face, his eyes still bleary. "Elsie? What are you –"

The words died in his throat once he finally took a proper look at her. She was smiling coyly at him, her raven hair free and cascading down her back. But what surprised him the most wasn't the expression on her face or the loose, dark strands that curled along her freckled, pink cheeks. It was what she was wearing.

Instead of a Christmas jumper, like she had promised she would have on, Elsie donned the bright red uniform reminiscent of the nutcracker she had gifted him the night prior. It was loose on her small form, barely hanging on to her shoulders, and short enough that it hardly covered the creamy skin of her thighs. He knew he should look away, or at least tell her that she was far too exposed for her liking.

"You're uh..." He cleared his throat. "What...what are you wearing?"

"Oh, this?" She playfully slid the top further down her shoulders. His hungry gaze followed the line down her collarbone and towards the curve of her breasts.

This wasn't like Elsie at all. The girl he knew wouldn't have been dressed like this in his presence, especially because they hadn't so much as kissed yet. She would be flustered, finding anything she could to cover herself up, and likely avoiding him afterward for days out of sheer humiliation.

"Why so shy?" She asked. It was definitely her voice but with a sultry tone. "This is what you wanted, isn't it?"

Sebastian swallowed. How could she have known that? "W-what do you mean?"

Elsie shrugged. "You made me. I heard your wish, and I'm here to grant it."

He blinked. Made?! "If this is some sort of muggle holiday prank, Elsie, it's really not funny."

She chuckled and sat next to him on the bed, draping an arm over his bare chest, and leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "It's not. I'm your nutcracker, silly."

Oh. Oh.

The nutcracker he had mindlessly transfigured last night to look like Elsie had somehow become sentient. And now, Elsie, or at least a perfect copy of her, was practically on top of him, half-naked and promiscuously alluring. It was something he had only dreamed about in the darkest hours of the night, alone in his bed with a silencing charm cast over him.

His thoughts were racing wildly as he drank in the sight of her. She was close enough now and leaning in at just the right angle that he could see entirely down her top, and his breath caught in his throat as he realized that, underneath, she was completely bare. He shifted on the bed as he felt his erection press tightly against his pajama bottoms, quickly losing any scrap of restraint he had left, which hadn't been much to begin with. This was wrong, wasn't it? He couldn't deny how badly he had wanted this – wanted it for months now.

Moments later, her lips and tongue were tracing a hot trail of kisses along his neck, and as she lightly grazed his pulse point with her teeth, the last thread of his control snapped.

In one swift move, he took her face in his hands and fiercely captured her lips with his own, the sensation nearly enough to send him over the edge. Months of pining - of gentle, innocent touches and cuddles that the real Elsie had naively passed off as what two good friends would share - had made him ache with need.

For an imitation, the nutcracker-Elsie felt wonderfully authentic.

His fingers snaked in her hair and tugged lightly, eliciting a soft moan from her that had him shivering. Realistically, had it been their true first experience together, he would have wanted to savor every moment, taking his time as he mapped out every sensitive plane and curve of her body that would make her writhe with pleasure underneath his touch.

But, since this was his Christmas wish, he was going to be self-indulgent and take exactly what he wanted, just as he had imagined doing for so long.

A soft brush of her hand against his very hard and throbbing erection nearly sent him into a frenzy, and he let out a mewl so pathetic he would have been embarrassed had he not felt so ridiculously desperate. His hands scrambled to tear the baggy nutcracker uniform off of her, and as he ran his hand along her inner thigh and traced his fingers along her core, he realized without a doubt that she was soaking. For him.

Happy fucking Christmas to me.

Sebastian groaned as he practically dragged her into his bed and flipped her onto her back. His body vibrated with anticipation when her fingers tugged at his pajama bottoms and yanked them down abruptly. His cock sprang free, already aching with desire, and he melted into a moaning mess when she wrapped her silken hand around him and stroked.

"F-fuck...so good, Elsie —" The way she held him, so expertly gentle and firm at the same time, was better than even his wildest imaginations could conjure. His hips bucked into her touch while he stared down at her through hooded lids, understanding that he needed to take every second to memorize her body in case he never had an opportunity like this again.

Her face was flushed, the smattering of freckles along her nose and cheeks standing out, just the way he liked to see them — one of the reasons he would purposely try to make her blush. His hands followed his gaze as it traveled further down, past her parted pink lips and onto her voluptuous breasts, and he couldn't help but lean forward and take one of her pert nipples into his mouth.

Elsie's sighs and moans as he swirled his tongue around it were music to his ears. He reached out with one hand to cup her other breast while his other slid between her legs once more and lightly circled her clit with his thumb while he pumped two fingers inside of her. The sounds she emitted were delightfully sinful, and he decided that he didn't want to wait any longer. He had waited long enough, trying his damndest to be a gentleman all this time and letting the real Elsie take whatever their relationship was at her own pace.

He had earned this. It was bloody Christmas, and she was his present, and he fucking deserved it.

Sebastian slotted himself between her thighs and pulled back to look at her again. The unbridled need on her face mirrored his own, and he momentarily wondered if he should have spent more time making sure she was ready for him before taking her. After all, if it were the real Elsie, he would have made sure she felt good and reached her release many, many times before he had even attempted to fuck her.

All reason and logic flew out of his brain as he fitted the sensitive head of his cock at her entrance, her slick coating him completely. The needy cry that she let out at the feel of him was all the encouragement he needed to know that she was as desperate for him as he was for her.

"S-Sebastian," she moaned, the sound so erotic he hadn't thought it possible for it to have come from her. "Please — please fuck me. I — need...inside me — please."

Elsie begging. As if he couldn't come undone anymore.

"Anything for you, Princess."

With one abrupt motion, he pushed his hips flush against hers, sliding inside her easily and simultaneously letting out a disgustingly pitiful whimper. He was internally grateful that Ominis had decided to go to breakfast early — he would never have let him live down the sheer humiliation of the chorus of wanting coming from his lips.

Though the doll had been made of wood only moments before, the tight heat of her cunt felt very, very real. It was her body, her silken skin under his fingers, her normally elegant hair mussed and tangled against his bedsheets, and, best of all, her voice crying out his name as he fucked her relentlessly.

"S-Sebastian! Don't — don't stop!"

The high-pitched squeals she refused to hold back egged him on further as he roughly snapped his hips against hers, releasing a low growl as her legs wrapped tightly around him and pulled him deeper into her. The heady scent of her filled his nostrils — the distinct smell of vanilla and jasmine that had so often intoxicated him now enveloped him, and he tucked his head into the crook of her neck to allow himself to be consumed by it.

"Fuck, Elsie. I'm so fucking close."

It was happening too quickly, his release approaching dangerously faster than he would have preferred had this been the real Elsie. He teetered on the precipice of wanting to slow down and make it last longer, to enjoy every sound and feel of her as much as possible, or rewarding himself with what he had been dying to have for so long.

Fuck it — it was Christmas.

She dug her fingernails into his back and muttered a terrifyingly incoherent string of expletives in his ear, but somewhere within them, she was encouraging him to let go.

He was right there, so bloody close now — only a few more thrusts as he selfishly chased down the reality that she was finally, finally his.

"Sebastian!" Yes. Say my name again.

"Sebastian, please!" Just like that, almost there —

"Sebastian, wake up!"

Sebastian's eyes flew open as he sat up abruptly, blinking furiously in an attempt to gather where exactly he was.

Elsie, fully clothed in a Christmas jumper and trousers, her hair in its normal, elegant plait, stared at him from the side of the Undercroft couch, her brows furrowed in concern.

"Are you alright?" She asked worriedly, and her hand softly stroking his arm was almost enough to drag another pathetic groan from his throat. "You were making all these noises in your sleep. It sounded like you were having a nightmare."

Sebastian rubbed his face as reality came crashing down on him like a bucket of ice water. He had been too tired to head back to his common room last night and had fallen asleep in the Undercroft after Elsie had left.

As if to confirm his misfortune, the nutcracker she had gifted him was gingerly tucked under the crook of his arm, still transfigured to look like the girl who currently stood in front of him eyeing him curiously.

He would have laughed at the idea that she referred to his wet dream as a goddamn nightmare had he not still been so fucking hard, left to wrestle with the infuriating ache of incompletion.

Sebastian cleared his throat and muttered a thank Merlin to his last night's self that he had thought to cover himself with a blanket, lest she be subjected to his current state when she had only been trying to check on him and make sure he was okay.

"Uh, yeah. A nightmare," he grumbled, lowering his gaze to hide the heat that was beginning to creep up his neck and along his cheeks. "That's all. M'fine now."

She raised an eyebrow skeptically, and he knew she had good reasons to wonder if he was telling the truth — especially considering he could barely look at her. Not without imagining all of the unholy acts that his dream self had been moments away from —

"I guess the nutcracker didn't help ward off the evil spirits after all," she teased.

The nutcracker. His face reddened further at the memory of Elsie's desperate cries that would forever be branded into his memory.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She reached out to brush her hand along his forehead. "You're looking a bit flushed –"

He smacked her hand away, one touch further from losing himself right in front of her. "I-I'm fine! Just...got a bit warm down here, is all."

It was a blatantly obvious lie, considering he had slept in the Undercroft, which was always perpetually cold. Thankfully, she didn't question him further.

"Well, if you're alright, then get up soon," Elsie said, interrupting his immensely impure thoughts as she turned on her heel to leave. "Ominis is meeting with us outside the Great Hall to exchange gifts." She wagged a finger at him in mock warning, the sly smile on her face reminding him all too much of his dream, and he suppressed another shudder. "And don't be late. A bad back from sleeping on the couch is not a good enough excuse to miss Christmas."

He only offered a curt nod in response.

When the sounds of her footsteps receded, Sebastian flopped back on the couch, once again left alone with his miserable frustrations. The 'Elsie' nutcracker still lay on the couch next to him as if to taunt him, reminding him of what he had been so close to enjoying and what he could never have. He angrily batted it to the floor before grabbing one of the cushions, bringing it to his face, and smothering a mortified, unending scream.

Happy fucking Christmas to me.

#*hides forever*#I had this posted on AO3 and Wattpad for a while #but I could never work up the nerve to post it here #so uhhhh #I'm so sorry #stay feral everyone #hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy mc #sebastian sallow x fmc #sebastian sallow x mc #sebastian sallow smut #elsie corvin #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #hogwarts legacy fandom #hogwarts legacy fanfic #smut oneshot

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molinaesque · 1 year ago

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Okay I mentioned that I had a bunch of Raphael thoughts and basically made a whole essay (in literally no actual format, this is just me vomiting out parsing thoughts and using it when lore dumping onto my friends). This is written based off of stuff you find in the game, some Wiki diving and my own thoughts.

Feel free to hit me up with some topics that we can talk about. And remember, these involve are my own thoughts and headcanons at the end of the day, so please act normally and don't come at me with pitchforks just because I have something that doesn't align with your specific HC.

A Prince's Tale: The Story of Raphael

In the universe of Faerûn, there exists a heaven and hell, or in this case the Heavens and the Hells. There are the Nine Hells of Baator, all ruled and lorded over by various archdevils. Raphael is the son of the ruler of the eighth circle of Hell, the archdevil, Mephistopheles. Raphael is a cambion which consists of a fiend and a mortal. Cambions then are considered "results of unnatural and unholy communion". In Raphael's case it's a bit more complicated because the fiend in this equation isn't just some lower being like an incubus or some other demon but a true Devil, making Raphael leagues above, both in power and rank, other typical Cambions, just purely due to his association and blood of being Mephistopheles' offspring.

The system in the Hells is extremely rigid and hierarchical (it's a system that has been upheld for eons. Many of the systems that make up the universe of D&D are as deeply rigid and rooted). Many of the themes of the characters of Baldur's Gate 3 consist of them either repeating the cycle or breaking its hold, which in the D&D verse is an extremely hard thing to do because of how long standing these systems are. In regards to the Hells, it works like a pyramid. The top of the food chain and order are the archdevils. There are many archdevils that reside and rule over each circle of the Hells, one however rules all and lives in the Ninth circle, Nessus; Asmodeus.

So what does Raphael want? The integral key item and centerpiece of the main plotline of BG3 dubbed only as 'The Crown', created by Karsus. Karsus was a very powerful, most would say perhaps THE most powerful wizard who ever lived. An archwizard/demi-god responsible for creating and casting a spell that would steal the power of a deity and transfer it to the archwizard who casted it. Eventually, this was a mistake, for one of the responsibilities of the deity of magic was to regulate the flow of magic to and from all beings, spells, and magic items in the world. He did not have the ability to do so properly, causing magic to surge and fluctuate, threatening that balance. This caused the flying cities of Netheril to plummet to the earth. The last thing Karsus sees is his entire civilization being destroyed because of his actions. This will be known as 'Karsus' Folly'.

Raphael tells you about this story and how he was there to witness it happen all those years ago. He wanted the Crown to himself but it was stolen and put into hiding. He later finds out that Mephistopheles, his father was the one responsible for stealing it. Now, here's a way to explain the fucked up power levels and why it plays so much of a factor especially in the Nine Hells. I mentioned how Raphael is not a typical Cambion, BUT even though he is technically a prince by birthright and a half true devil, it doesn't make a difference under the likes of archdevils like his father (who doesn't help at all with Raphael's behaviour because Mephistopheles is a MEGA asshole. I mean, there's a reason why Raphael never utilised his name to invoke influence and power, doesn't even call him father, that's how much he hates him. You only find out about it through Haarlep. He even had another child, a daughter, who he cared more about by making her a trusted double-agent against one of his rivals. Meanwhile, he treats Raphael like nothing and acts as if he doesn't exist for the most part). Basically, unless you are an archdevil in the Hells, you are never TRULY free. As power, literally = freedom in the Hells. Raphael realises this and so began his lifelong ambition to get that power. That came with the events of Karsus' Folly. Realising that this is the opportunity and power Raphael needed, he attempts to steal it only for it to be taken by none other than his own father. Now, you think "ah Mephistopheles wants that power for himself, right?" No. Here is how far apart the levels of power are between beings like Mephistopheles (beings such as archdevils/archwizards/demi-gods/gods/etc) and beings like Raphael, who is already a pretty substantial and powerful Devil by his own right.

Raphael has been coveting the Crown and its power for 10 centuries, a thousand years, essentially. It's his one source that can possibly give him the chance of taking even more control of the Hells and ultimately make him TRULY a free devil. It's his life's mission that has been going on until he's practically in his middle age in devil years (his human appearance showcases this, and we also see a younger Raphael in his devil form with Haarlep). Half of his (immortal) life. It is very crucial and important to him.

And yet… to Mephistopheles, it's just a souvenir. A trinket. Or as Raphael puts it, "a museum piece".

This, undoubtedly angered Raphael so much and made his hatred towards his father even more so (Raphael mentioned how he raged for a decade, understandably). The fact that not only does his father treat him as if he doesn't exist, but to add insult to injury, did this while mocking him by not taking him seriously. One of the things he did was to send an incubus, Haarlep, made and glamoured to be an exact copy of Raphael, to distract him. It could also be seen as a message of "here is my gift to you and it is one of the only few things that will ever be 'truly' yours; a copy of yourself". Raphael would have been the first image that Haarlep acquired, thus why the constant form that you see him with is of Raphael (Haarlep tells you this if you kill him and speak to his corpse). Haarlep's corpse also tells you that "Raphael only loves himself." I wonder why. Haarlep also has a contract that requires him to obtain 1000 souls (the runes on his harness have been translated to the number '1000') in order to be free. This is why the archivist in House of Hope tells you that special guests can reside in the boudoir, as this is a primary way for Haarlep to collect more souls. If you sleep with him, and allow him to have your heart and soul, you die. If you promise your body only, you live but he now has a full copy of you entirely. Additionally, we know Gortash was sold to be in Raphael's services when he was a boy. We know that Gortash and the other Chosen eventually stole the Crown from Mephistopheles' vault. What's interesting is if you explore the House of Hope, you can find a portal to the eighth circle of Hell, Cania, where Mephistopheles resides. I believe that Gortash utilized this to obtain the Crown. Imagine the sheer rage and embarrassment Raphael had to endure because of this. Not only did the Crown get snatched from under him once but TWICE. Once by his father, and then later by a boy who was under his charge. I can completely imagine Mephistopheles utilising that as additional ammo and lording that over Raphael's head.

In pertaining to Raphael's character and behavior, all of this explains additionally as to why Raphael is the way he is. It's selfish, insecure behavior that also explains the portraits he surrounds himself with. Notice how all the paintings are of his true form. He also has many lines of dialogue depending on what you pick during your various meetings where he truly gets angry. One of these lines is him shouting "I AM NO MORTAL" when you simply ask why he would succeed where Karsus had failed (which is ironic because, my guy, you are part mortal, so was Karsus but he was very powerful for many other reasons other than pure association and blood. Raphael even tells you how foolish of a notion it would be if you suggest that you could take the Crown for yourself, telling you that archdevils, wizards, and gods have worn the Crown, "it would tear you apart" he warns you). The portraits of his Devil form in House of Hope surrounding him is a way of constant reminder to himself of what he wants to be associated with. He HATES that he is part mortal (he has showcased his disdain for the mortal realm very clearly during your encounter in House of Hope) and wants to see himself as only a Devil. To say that dude's got major issues and complexes is a huge understatement. He's a deeply insecure being who's controlling and manipulative (most of it stemming from his father and his predicament of essentially living a half-life), but he's also a pragmatic, self-aware character. He's very much the epitome of Lawful Evil. If the players choose to only see him as a one note character who's just "self-centered and evil", you can. That's the beauty of Baldur's Gate. These things are true,but you can also add on top of that when you choose to find out and explore for more lore and characterization.

Interestingly, the way he treats someone who opposes him compared to those who don't are very stark in contrast. You see it with the prime examples of Hope (naming the house after her due to her being the one soul who he cannot convert and have on his team completely) and of her sister Korilla, who has mentioned that she loves being in service of Raphael completely as he has treated her with respect and given her more freedom than her previous master ever did, who in her own words, "constantly would beat me and feed me scraps". "Better to be free in the Hells than go begging in the Heavens", she tells you. She's also not blindly following Raphael or under any thrall. In fact she makes light of him and his antics to you completely of her own volition. She made a bet with Raphael whether you would survive and get to Baldur's Gate (which Raphael bet FOR you to succeed btw). You can find the Five Soul Coins they bet for in the safe hidden behind the portrait in HoH. And she doesn't sing his praises completely, saying that she's more skeptical of you than Raphael is and is fearful of how wrong he would be banking everything on you, saying "Raphael can be so very wrong". She basically tells you that Raphael won't shut up about you. She also tells you that Raphael is, in her own words, "by no means altruistic" and argues that Raphael truly wants to not have the world destroyed because it would simply mean, as she puts it "the boss did the balance sheets. No world, no souls". In fact, she BEGS you to reconsider if you didn't take the deal in the first place.

One could argue that Raphael residing in Avernus and having him in proximity of mortals more in comparison to the deeper levels of the Hells, gave him more perspective. He even tells you he doesn't want Baldur's Gate to be destroyed. He tells you, fondly, he couldn't possibly want that to happen because the city is "an object lesson of moral excess". Why would he want a huge primary source of deals and contracts for him gone. If you explore the House of Hope, many of his deals range from complex, twisted deals to simple, straightforward ones with no caveats (for example there is a debtor who tells you that he sold his soul for enough money to keep his family well fed. Done. No trickery. That was the end of it. Even the architect of Moonrise Towers attested to Raphael keeping his word and defeating Ketheric's forces way back then). In Raphael's own words, "I'm a man of my word" and he wasn't lying. There's a reason why he has practically a 99.9% conversion rate (his one big failure being Hope and why he's so obsessed with converting her is because he truly cannot understand how one can be so pure of a soul. She's a puzzle, and Raphael HATES it when he can't figure something out). If you're wondering why can't Raphael (or any other devil) force or lie about the contracts they have made, well that's literally by design. Asmodeus created a law that bars devils from doing so, and devils will get punished severely would they ever take advantage of that. That's also why devils have to be extra sneaky when being contractors because if they die, it doesn't matter. The contracts they made while still alive still stays intact until they are completed. Meanwhile, the contract just gets given to another devil. When Raphael tells you in HoH if you asked him for no more bloodshed, he tells you "you've given me no choice". He means this, as it would mean both you AND he would be punished regardless if he were to let it be.

Mol is another example of a straightforward transaction. He wasn't lying when he said he'll keep Mol safe from harm in exchange for becoming her patron. It's not for something nebulous like "she has to become the leader of the guild in the next 20 years" or something extreme, it was just "I'll be your patron in return for your safety and security". He sees her as a long standing investment. Raphael mentioned that he hates children, but there is ONE thing he values above all else and admires when he recognizes it. "Ambition." He tells you he sees that in Mol during the meeting at Last Light Inn. It's also believable that he sees himself in Mol (especially his younger self) and thought "I respect it and I get another easy contract. Win-win". The dude loves underdog stories since his own is practically one as well. In fact, Mol doesn't like it when you treat her condescendingly. If you remember the chess scene in Last Light Inn, there are ways she can lose but also various ways she can win (and no, you don't have to only pick helping her cheat for this to work). If you help her cheat, she wins. If you help her by giving her an offensive strategy, she wins (in fact Raphael knows that she cheated, and if she won legitimately, even comments about the move and stating that it's a legit maneuver in chess and praises Mol for it saying that it's "exactly what I would've done"). Either way, Raphael praises your suggestions when Mol leaves. If however, you don't offer advice, or tell Mol to be defensive, she looses, prompting Raphael to comment on how being non committal or weak will not help Mol in the long run. If you stole her contract, she doesn't mind it too much BUT if you killed Raphael and told her about it, she will HATE you. Hating how you killed her patron, "Big Raph" as she calls him, that would ensure her safety and security as long as she's under contract. It's another additional interesting subplot that doesn't really have anything to do with the grand scheme of the game, but adds even more layers to already fascinating characters.

This dichotomy is what makes Raphael a very complex and interesting character. He's a devil who wants Ultimate Power, make no mistake, but he also is pragmatic enough to realise that he does not want another "Karsus' Folly". In fact, he could have easily just done an Emperor to gain your trust wholeheartedly and then turn on you the moment you have the Crown. It would have been easier for him. But he chose to bank on you being a long term investment maybe even beyond the Crown, meeting you head on and reveal his true nature to you from the first meeting. If you listen to everything he tells you, he never actually lies, he omits things here and there, but he never lies to you (in fact if you become even more on his team, there is a line where he straight up tells you that he "likes you"). It's a similar relationship with Korilla, in that she has complete free will but is for his team. He mentions that he does not like it when people beg or kiss his ass (there are many examples of this, his conversation with Voss for one and also whenever you choose dialogue options that make you seem like a spineless whimp). He even tells you at points that he likes the way you do things (even if they're a bit unorthodox), and if you took his contract but chose to break it (or just stole the hammer, it's the same regardless), it makes it even more personal because he genuinely was shocked to find that you were the one breaking into his house. This is one of the few times we see Raphael truly angry. No fancy words, no charm, no smarmyness. Just anger and even sheer disappointment that you chose to, in his own words, "become like Karsus, disregarding everything and burning your world to ash" (remember, Raphael truly believes that his method with the hammer and Orpheus is the ONLY way to defeat the brain, that's the unfortunate part of obsessing and planning for this goal for so long that he truly believes there are no other alternatives. He mentions in one of his diaries that he has planned a dozen ways to obtain the Crown, but he concludes that there is only one way for it to actually work and it involves Orpheus, hence the creation and naming of "The Orphic Hammer". There's even a book about its creation in HoH). Hell, even one of the dialogue options where you say "there's no need for more bloodshed", you would think he'd just be like "HAHAHA evil dialogue, i planned this all along, you're nothing, blah blah" but instead he actually says in his own words, "I have no choice" because we know that breaking contracts means death, and death means he has to collect your soul. Even if you didn't sign the contract and break in, he still genuinely did not think you would go so far as to do such a thing especially with the offer he made to you. He basically blames you for being too proud to do such a thing.

Even when you don't take his contract at all, when you meet up with the Emperor again in the Astral Prism during the battle against the Netherbrain, choosing to betray the Emperor will cause Raphael to appear for a final time. Does he just offer you the contract again? Yes. But not before scolding you for being an idiot and genuinely being pissed off at you for not taking his deal to free Orpheus. He even tells you in his own words, "we could have been allies, partners… FRIENDS!" If you try to beg him for help, he shouts at you, saying how you are in no position to make demands anymore because of your reckless actions. You made your bed, you have to recognise it. If you still refuse his offer, he doesn't try to force you, or twist your arm in any way… he just tells you, quote, "Goodbye. It's been unforgettable" (which is his way of saying "i won't forget you… but i also won't forget how much of a fucking blind idiot you were) and then leaves you forever. If you take the deal, he tells you it's no longer as equals anymore, you are now considered a lowly servant to him. He genuinely wanted you to be partners, but doing all of this basically leads him to conclude that you aren't worth it anymore. The way the writers chose to have the Emperor and Raphael parallel each other but in different ways is genius. They are two sides of the same coin. Both want true freedom, both try to manipulate Tav, the main characters for their own cause, both are extremely pragmatic and set in their own ways and goals. The irony is that instead of portraying Raphael as this pure scheming, one note character - is flipped on it's head by making him honestly, one of the most truthful characters in the game. It's just that he's a Devil. As Korilla states when you ask her back at the brothel, "why can't Raphael just be clear with me if we are on the same team?" she tells you as if explaining that the sky is blue…

"He's a Devil. It's in his nature. He has to make his dues."

This speaks of how ancient and deeply rooted these laws and systems work in their universe. Typically, characters says stuff like this to be hyperbolic/dramatic. But in the case of Raphael as a Devil, she means this literally, as souls keep the Hells functionable, and as we know by now, souls = power, and more power = more freedom.

Now, to address the epilogue and what happens if you do make the pact with him and delivered upon your promise. He comes to you and tells you that he and his forces are already taking over Avernus and overthrew Zariel. He tells you that he has various archdevils already coming to him to make concessions, his father included. He also tells you that he'll be knocking on your door soon. This is open to interpretation, but remember he has sworn to you during your deal that he would never use the Crown on a mortal (trust me, with his obsession with the Hells and how he envisioned on ruling it, in his own words "more order, efficiency, and control", he is definitely more interested in dominating the Hells only, it's too much work anyhow to be interested in anything else. Also he swore to you as part of the contract, he literally cannot break this, if he does, it's immediate punishment for him, so he's not lying). So, more than likely, he finds you to be a very important potential ally to further work with in the future. Also, depending on how early you signed the contract, his tone/line can be interpreted VERY differently.

Now here's the most interesting part… if you aren't familliar with D&D lore, that epilogue would lead you to believe "oh damn he's going to be ruler of the Nine Hells just like he wanted, good for him", but that's easier said than done. Because not only the deeper the Hells go, the more powerful these archdevils will be. I have no trepidation about him defeating them or them conceding to him, that's already happening. The one obstacle he truly needs to worry about… is the keeper of the Ninth Hell, the ruler of all the Nine Hells of Baator, Asmodeus. The creator and overlord himself. Just to give you a concept of how the power levels work in D&D… level 12 and above, are almost levels of godhood. Think the likes of Hercules. At the level Asmodeus is at, however, a former deity (speculative) and creator of the laws and system that permits the balance of life and the universe itself, Raphael even with the Crown will have… a VERY slim chance of overruling him. At the very least he could take over the other realms or instill his way of order and control, and appeal to Asmodeus, because funny enough, Asmodeus' personality and behaviour and goals is VERY similar and akin to Raphael's (Asmodeus is the primal embodiment of Lawful Evil and a supreme strategist of unparalleled skill. He's good at warfare but even better at words, planning, and subterfuge). Another thing is Raphael might even change his own mind, because Asmodeus isn't just the ruler of the Hells, his primary existence is to keep the balance of life and death and the existing universe in check. I personally don't see Raphael being interested in such a huge responsibility but that's another topic for another day.

Another fun fact, many of the characters in D&D are existing characters in various cultural stories/mythologies. Many of the archdevils included with the likes of Mephistopheles, Baalzebub, Mammon, and yes even Asmodeus. The writers most likely looked to biblical texts for inspiration of Raphael, but the irony is they took the one famous character in Christian biblical text, Raphael, who is not a devil, but an archangel and then flipped that character on its head. One of archangel Raphael's most famous stories is literally called, 'the Battle Against Asmodeus', where Raphael fights against Asmodeus, a fallen cherub and dubbed, "personal adversary" of Raphael. What's even cooler? The battle was not one of might, but of intelligence, wisdom and influence. Exactly like how D&D's own Raphael and Asmodeus operate. Raphael certainly takes more after Asmodeus than he does his own father.

Speaking of which, what about his father? Raphael mentions that he was there amongst the midst of other archdevils coming to Raphael to make concessions. Raphael is smart enough to know, though, that his father is not there solely out of "you did it, my boy" or anything like that, or perceiving him as a true threat still. Besides knowing how Raphael is seen by Mephistopheles, back at the diabolisk shop, there is an orb charmed to keep an eye on Raphael at all times. If you had defeated him in House of Hope, you will witness Mephistopheles holding the broken body of Raphael over his mouth and eating him. It's a nod to 'Saturn/Kronos eating his son(s)'. Basically, if you chose this ending for Raphael, you close the circle and end this story of Jacobean tragedy of an underdog prince who has been seeking validation and freedom from the sheer inescapable nature of the Hells and it's systems. In a way Raphael also has the same themes of your other companions who are also trying to navigate their fates. Whether to repeat that cycle in perpetuity or break free of it, it all hinges upon your choices throughout this journey of Baldur's Gate 3. Basically, Mephistopheles is just waiting patiently to witness his own son's downfall should he become overzealous and overtly ambitious, before swooping in to consume his son and all that additional power for himself, power that he doesn't even need, mind you. He's just there for the vibes, and to add even more pressure on his son. Parents, amirite?

If you're on team Raphael (like me) and gave him the ending he wants, the only thing I can really say is "Good luck, little prince. I'm actually rooting for you. You're going to need it."

Will our little princeling be able to break out of his own cycle and come out on top? Will Raphael be able to even get to the ninth circle let alone confront Asmodeus? Will Raphael finally get one over his dear ol' dad? Will Raphael ever get to finally make due on his promise ("I'm a man of my word"), and have that wine with Tav?

Hard to say, for his journey is just beginning.

#Raphael #baldur's gate 3 #raphael bg3 #raphael baldur's gate 3 #bg3 raphael #baldur's gate 3 raphael #Text #bg3 hc #Again PLEASE do not come to my inbox with some contentious stuff... I KNOW how some of you think esp in a bigger fandom #I'm too old for that shit so don't even try #I'm just here to vibe and make gifs and do fanart #bg3 thoughts

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dust-jacket-analysis · 1 month ago

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With the recent potential developments in the My Hero Cannon lately, shipping discourse is at an all time high. Spoilers, by the way.

Izuocha is allegedly made canon in some sort of final chapter of My Hero. And the Togachako and Bakudeku shippers are screaming, crying, throwing up. The Izuocha shippers are ecstatic, and everyone else is watching this absolute dumpster fire of a situation develop. And with this all, some feelings have been spun up. So I'm gonna talk about it.

First and foremost, Izuocha was always going to be canon. Sorry, not sorry. It was implied from the get go. Right off the bat a mutual crush was confirmed. While it focused more on Ochako's feelings, Deku definitely felt the same as the series progressed. All the blushing and awkward tension was there. And I say this not to invalidate the other ships, we'll get too that. But because this is pure fact I want established.

Now, it being well written, is another story. Obviously My Hero was never intended to be a romance. It is a Shonen anime, mainly action. While also making social commentary on corrupt governments, and discriminatory social systems. Those were always the main themes and points of the series. With Bakugou and Deku's complicated dynamic being second to that, and everything else prioritized after this. so naturally Izuku and Ochako's romantic relationship would not be as focused on. Hence why it's writing is not as good. It's just important to clarify this.

Which brings us to my actual main gripe with the whole situation. The way this fandom is invalidating not only just shipping, but relationship dynamics as a whole. And I've seen this with a LOT of fandoms. People tend to find they're OTP and stick to it. Buying their heads in the sand like Ostrich's when it comes to any other dynamics those two characters may have. People will say "My ship makes the most sense, and all the other ships are ridiculous," or, "I can't see them being anything more than platonic. My ship however, is meaningful and romantic."

That all lowkey pisses me off. Because when pushing that we forget a key detail of the human experience. As we go through our lives we meet hundreds of people. Form hundreds of group and individual dynamics, forge relationships with these different people we meet.

It's the beauty of being creatures with consciousness. Because we don't just meet someone, breed and die. We meet so many people who are all unique in their wants and desires. Different life goals and motivations. Different experiences that've shaped them.

Toga met Ochako. A girl who understood her more than anyone she'd met before. Who didn't see her just as the villain she'd become, but the girl she'd been and was still. A connection that meant something. But she also had the League of Villains, and Twice. People she'd found home and family in. As twisted as it was. Another meaningful connection in her life.

Bakugou Deku's dynamic is a huge section of conflict throughout the story. Despite that though, through all their ups and downs, they help each other grow. Become better Hero's and, in Bakugous case specifically, better people. It's meaningful. But Bakugou also meets Kirishima. One of the first people to ignore his threats and anger, her shouting. To put himself next to Bakugou and say "I want to be your equal. Your friend." And Kirishima plays a big role in softening Bakugou. And Bakugou helps Kirishima with his confidence. It's meaningful.

Just like how Deku and Todoroki's dynamic is important for both. Deku helps Todoroki to understand he does not have to hide parts of himself to spite his father. "It's yours! Your quirk, not his!" It's a huge break through for Todoroki. And in turn Todoroki is one of the people that helps Deku realize he can ask for help, he can lean on his friends. That needing support isn't weak (a lesson Deku also helped him learn), and that it doesn't make you a bad hero.

And Deku and Ochako. She's one of the first people to truly believe in him. To look at him and say he will make a good hero. One of his first friends. And Deku helps Ochako in that same way. He also inspires her to work harder and eventually she realizes she wants to be a rescue based Hero.

But Ochako also meets Toga. A girl cast out by society for her quirk, which she uses unashamedly. It helps Ochako see villains in a different light. One of empathy and understanding. While she still wishes to hold them accountable, she now sees the circumstances for how villain's are made. And she makes it her life to help other Children with quirks like Toga's to not become villains through quirk counseling. It's meaningful. All of these different dynamics shape the characters in different aspects of their lives and personality. Each dynamic is important, just as much so as the next. Whether platonic, romantic, or otherwise. They mattered. To invalidate that because it's not a ship you like is asinine.

Also, people can fall in love with more than one person. Toga fell in love for both Deku and Ochako, on different levels. And I argue Ochako did the same. Deku can love Ochako, Bakugou and Todoroki too. Bakugou can love Deku and Kirishima. People can fall in love more than once, regardless of who ends up with who.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what's canon. It never has. Fandom has never cared or let it hinder the way it operates on tumblr, ao3, etc. You still get meaningful dynamics in the source material. Relationships that shaped the characters and their story.

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha #bnha #izuku midoriya #ochako uraraka #bakugou katsuki #toga himiko #izuocha #bakudeku #togachako #shipping culture #shipping discourse #fandom culture #fandom discourse

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leviismybby · 9 months ago

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However, I don't know how to feel about Levi because of the real source material (Isayama interviews, smartpass story and side material like that…) and the 'professional' Japanese translators on this blog. I think he really is, according to the correct Japanese translations and Isayama interviews, he is really dragging humanity through the mud for his personal feelings… and he is someone who is floating and aimless because of Erwin's death… So much so that Isayama even thought of killing him many times because he didn't know what to do about him and threw him aside… also I guess he has no interest in women… oh and Ackerbond is probably real… I know it's not a canon ship and I know he's not in love, but that doesn't mean it's not written too reductively to Erwin. And it disgusts me…

Because of the source material, side material, canon discourse and Japanese translator blogs, my opinion of him is changing more and more and I think I will throw my LevixOc project in the trash… Levi is really someone who (because of Isayama's writing) has been hypnotized by Erwin's own goals and has taken control of Levi's entire character and actions. I don't think I could take him (or s/o) out of this hypnosis.

I know you can say "Isayama's opinions can change" or "only what is in the manga is canon" and I used to hide behind that for consolation, but I realized that once Isayama said it, it was true and it stayed there. And I think the interviews are necessary to understand the content of the scenes etc. in the manga.

Even analysis is no longer a comfort for me… after all, why need complicated writing when interviews and manga are the source of what really happened there…

I guess he's not the character I thought I wanted… I wish he was his own man… I wish he wasn't a character to be discarded just because he died because of another character… or someone who is too picky and only accepts high standards… (this is just my own opinion based on the manga and the material/opinions I think Canon!Levi would be like that)

I'm deeply disappointed… As delulu as the Eruri fandom is, most of what they say is unfortunately true… after all, they take real sources and cite them as evidence… I don't think they are mistranslating because there are professional cold-blooded translators in this fandom and most of them quote what that blog says…

I wish I had never encountered this fandom and this character, so I wouldn't have to be so upset all these years…

Except that half of the interviews are either fake, completely twisted or don't exist. Especially that flaoting ballon bullshit, which a lot of Japanese fans say wasn't even said.

I will this again, please read the manga on your own and base your opinions on Levi on your own.

Since you already mention Eruri and i might ruin your day here but Eruri is as canon and Levihan is, it isn't. No Levi never prirotized Erwin over humanity and you'll understand that if you read the manga for yourself and analyse it for yourself without letting the fandom get to you.

Levi is his own man, he has his brain to think with and the only people who think he doesn't are shippers. Not once did Levi put his own selfish desires before humanity for anyone, he was as sad about Erwin's death as he was for the rest of his comrads. Not a single instance in the manga/anime or any actual official interviews given by Isayama was Levi reduced to Erwin, only a shipper would think that way. Oh and Ackerbond thing too, not only is that damaging to Levi's character, it is just creppy and definitely not a thing.

I am sorry anon but it seems like you don't understand Levi and his character at all. Isayama always said that Erwin and Levi were equal and sworn friends, he didn't say that because he hid some sort of hidden romance between the two, he said it because that's how it is, its a strong bond of trust and commandership and reducing it only to "Oh Levi is a love sick puppy who only cares about Erwin." is a mischaractertion at max.

My advice to you is to take a break from the fandom is they are making you not like your oc x Levi anymore, that's the best way to get them out of your head and please, base your own opinions, not what people online say.

#levi #levi ackerman #attack on titan #aot levi #captain levi #anonymous asks #also to point out #this isnt about all shippers #most are sane and can actully be talked to #and then there are some who have to harass and bully people for not shipping a fanon ship

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lennadanvers · 7 months ago

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Hmm i wanna ask your opinion about how Simon Riley once had fallen in love with someone that share similarities with him but this person is much more complicated than him. More reclusive, secretive and has extreme trust issue. You think how Simon would act around them?

This is a little old, but I'm trying to reply to my asks, so here it goes. Keep in mind I'm in no way a Simon Riley expert: this is just, broadly speaking, how I think he may handle things (based off of my idea of him and the media I've consumed regarding his personality). Also, it is my first time aproaching a character this way.

I think that Simon himself couldn't be much more reclusive, secretive and have more trust issues, honestly. The man doesn't show his face or use his own name. He is also pretty complicated himself. So it's kinda hard to imagine someone even more reclusive, secretive and with more trust issues. Also, he is complicated, as a character and as a person (with this I mean that, in his own universe, he has both a complex history and ways to interact with people; even if it doesn't always show).

That said, I think it really depends on the way you're picturing him. I've seen him written in more of a protective role, with most of his issues resolved. In that light, I think he'd be patient and understanding. He'd try to get close to them, but really slowly, the way one tries to help a wounded, but dangerous, animal. He'd understand and wait for them to grant permission before getting closer. It'd be a slow process (very, very slow, he could be at if for years). I think Simon would try to prove he is trustworthy, and that, even if they try to push him away or emotionally hurt him, he wouldn't budge. I'm thinking a calm Simon, maybe a little sad because he can't protect them from the things he went through. It'd be hard for him because it'd be like reliving it all over again.At the same time, every small victory would bring him a thousand times more satisfaction. I bet he blushes down to his chest and hides his smile against his pillow when he remembers the way they chose him for an exercise in pairs during training.

On the other hand, if he hasn't resolved his issues, I think it would be a little more dangerous. He'd know it can be a bad idea: one of him is bad enough. He wouldn't be able to stay 100% away, though. He'd be there without being there. Silence, quick glances, always an inch of air between his body and theirs. I picture lots of acts of service and very few words. At least very few honest words. Maybe too many jokes (not explicitly directed at them, but still) just to feel like they know he's not dark, scary and hiding all the time. He'd be (even more) scared. And confused. Terrified of rejection, of doing even the tiniest bit of damage, of overstepping, of them seeing him the way he sees himself. The way I see this working is the both of them working together to heal. This road would have more bumps, I think, but Simon doesn't give up, period. The man won't lose a battle against himself, and he sure as hell ain't losing to their demons. Just lots of angst and some autodestructive feelings/actions. But a happy ending anyway.

#fanfiction #cod #simon ghost riley #lennadanvers #task force 141 #ghost cod #ghost #simon riley x reader #simon riley cod #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #len answers

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funhouse-mirror-barbie · 9 months ago

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Looking back at Steven Universe I had a lot of criticisms, but there were also a lot opinions and discourse that REALLY didn’t sit right with me—one of the biggest ones was the discourse surrounding “Storm in The Room”

I remember there being a lot of posts about how “Rose” was gaslighting Steven by asking him if he really believed she purposefully made him to run from her mistakes.

And I just. As someone who is close to their parents BUT also has had a lot of fights with them, and has had a lot of moments where I felt EXACTLY like Steven does during this scene, it was always very clear to me that this whole conversation and episode was Steven working out his complicated feelings about Rose on his own.

The “Rose” in the gif above is not real. It’s not actually Steven’s mom. That’s like. That’s the whole point.

Steven asking Room!Rose if she just created him to run away from her mistakes, and her responding by asking him if he really believes that, is Steven having an internal dialogue. He is talking things out with himself. It’s something I’ve done myself MANY times when I get in arguments or need to untangle my own feelings about something.

Steven’s fear and anxiety is that he wasn’t created to be his own person, but to fix Rose’s mistakes. However, on some level he doesn’t really believe that, he knows rationally Rose loves him and did not INTEND for him to be hurt by her past actions. But regardless of her intent, Steven was still hurt. And that hurt is real and important.

This room manifests Steven’s desires, feelings and thoughts. I always interpreted that scene as Steven coming to terms with the fact that his mother isn’t perfect and wonderful like he previously believed her to be. It’s him realizing she’s a PERSON who had flaws and did bad things.

He has to let himself feel the anger and hurt and betrayal and be upset before he can think rationally again and realize that no, he doesn’t really believe that his mom only made him to hide from her mistakes. But it’s still upsetting. It’s still hard. And as he says in this scene, he has to pick up the pieces of everything Rose left behind.

THAT is the point of this scene, and of “Storm in the Room” as a whole.

Something that I haven’t heard or seen talked about in regards to Steven Universe’s themes is the fact that, in life, you will hurt the people you love sometimes. And that you will be hurt by them in turn.

This happens multiple times through the series, and I personally think it’s done so well because the way the characters are written feel very true to life. The relationships in Steven Universe rupture and break, but the characters come together to repair their relationships again and again.

That is what a healthy relationship actually looks like—they are not devoid of conflict. Instead the people in the relationship work through conflict when it arises.

The reason the conflict in Steven Universe is so engaging to me personally is because its focus is on interpersonal relationships and how they take hard work and time.

This is something that is so important to understand, for kids and adults alike. That the people who love you become a part of you, and that they will hurt you—and while that doesn’t make them evil or malicious, that pain is still real and deserves to be acknowledged and those feelings should be treated seriously.

#steven universe #su #rose quartz #rose quartz su #su criticism #I guess???#su critique #Steven universe critique #media literacy #? I guess????#steven universe criticism #sorta?#funhouse convo #media criticism #media critique

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brodorokihousuke · 3 months ago

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Im curious given you are an avid SoJ enjoyer; what are your thoughts on Nahyuta and his actions?

My opinion on him is a little complicated, as my perception of him while playing the game (brother pisses me off, his theme starts and I groan, one of the only things i have ever flipped off) is completely different from my opinion of his overall character... but I suppose that just means he's written well haha.

I think he's very similar to Blackquill in that a majority of the game, he's masking his true emotions and/or motivations due to the need to protect someone (Rayfa, Apollo, and, frankly, himself) from harm. I think this makes him fairly complex and nuanced as you can't precisely tell what he's feeling at any given moment- if anything, he's specifically trying to hide such a thing.

As a sidenote, I do enjoy thinking about what his true feelings were throughout The Magical Turnabout, and the other cases pre: Revolution to a smaller extent. He had to be a little fucked up over facing Apollo in court, methinks...

A lot of his actions were, in my mind, influenced by this need to keep up appearances, and so I honestly can't say how many of them were explicitly his own decision or were influenced by Ga'ran. So, even though he pulled a lot of dickish moves throughout the game, I feel like a fair few of them can be forgiven due to his difficult position at the time.

I would be interested to see more of him post-SoJ, to get a better read of his emotions and personality.

#ask brodoroki #nahyuta sahdmadhi #spirit of justice #soj spoilers #aa6 spoilers #tldr he's interesting but complicated

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luminous-jade-skies · 2 years ago

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在心而在心思

In Heart and In Mind

Foresight 远见 (written as of patch 1.0)

Pairing: Jing Yuan/Vidyadhara! Reader

Content: rated M, complicated relationships, fluff, humour, complicated feelings, potentially older man/younger woman (the situation is complicated), morally grey fic, leaning yandere! Jing Yuan, minors dni

This is really long, like really long. I’ve been writing this for like a week or two (might’ve been two). Also as mentioned in the contents, it’s quite a weird situation (which makes it fun). I don’t recommend minors reading this because (no offence) it takes a bit of discretion. 在心而在心思 may also be a series (not chronological), so if you liked this one, there may be potentially more in the future.

I actually lost my 50/50 to Clara at 85 pulls which pained me greatly to the point where I swore off gacha games for a bit. Then I decided to swipe and got him in around 65. I also pulled for his lightcone and got it in 1 ten pull, so I’ll take that as his apology ahahaha. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

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“Amidst the falling golden light of the Arbor Glowing roots spread across the ship Conflict blooming from its branches, the pale aurora flames.

Where gingko leaves fall and dance in the wind Blood and despair follows Halls of humanity, forgotten in the pride bred from our bones.

Thus sings our short history Where legends live and never die…”

Your brush draws out the last stroke of the character onto your scroll, the golden paint appearing on the brown reflective surface just in time for you to meet the matching irises of the Divine Foresight.

“Late. Again.” The scroll is rolled and snapped shut—poem incomplete—and tucked into your bag. Its red tassel hangs out teasingly. “General, after many centuries I expect you to be less tardy.”

He plops down on the stool of the teahouse in front of you, making himself comfortable by crossing his leg and leaning his elbows on the table. “Oh?” He says with playful amusement. He reaches over to pinch your cheek which you immediately dodge. “If you’ve known me for so long, why still call me ‘general,’ hm?”

You huff. “Firstly, you’re my superior, I must address you as such. Secondly, I know you, not in heart, but in mind. If everything written in my past self’s journal is true, then you have hardly changed.”

As soon as Jing Yuan confirms an order of two Immortal’s Delight, he chuckles. “So you’ve finished reading all the journals?”

“Of course not, there’s so much to read! If you told me I was a writer in my past life I wouldn’t be surprised. I just finished reading volume twelve.” You cross your arms.

“Oh? You’ve finished all twelve already?”

“No, I started from the most recent years. The information seems the most relevant, like recent developments in my job and instructions on how to deal with them. That being said, you’re not keeping anything from me aren’t you?” You eyed him suspiciously.

He feigned hurt, wincing and throwing a dramatic hand to clutch his heart. “Did your past self write such terrible things about me? I miss when you acted carefreely, especially when you would rush into my arms without care.”

“I’m old enough to not be doing that!” You exclaimed, hiding your face behind your hand in embarrassment. After taking a quick second to compose yourself (wisely covered up with a fed-up groan), you clarify your pointed suspicion in a hushed tone. “The journal mentions how I was supposed to begin working as soon as I reached five years old. I’m fifteen now and I’ve only started.”

It’s true. You were supposed to start when you were five. If everything had gone according to your past self’s plan, you would master literacy by three and finish most of your studies by five like “how you always did” as you had told him. However, Jing Yuan had different plans. You were catching on quickly that he wasn’t honouring your wishes as you had wanted them exactly. But it would take more deduction and action than merely suspicion to nail him in his sins.

“If I were as wise as my past self seemed to have been, then I would not trust my reincarnation to solely one person, even if he was the Divine Foresight. It puts me in too much a vulnerable position.”

Jing Yuan sighs, but not of discontent. Returning to his leisurely posture, he stares at you from beneath his lashes lazily, saying. “You’re so cute in your caution.”

If any Outworlders were nearby to witness the mild flirt, they would have shot a concerned look at Jing Yuan. Was this middle-aged man making passive moves on a young girl?! If they tried looking around at other passersby, they would find no such reaction. With one glance at the girl in question, locals would notice the Vidyadhara horns and the red Erudition eye painted on the middle of her forehead, then continue on their day. Afterall, the Sky-Faring Logistics Master could take care of herself.

The Dozing General always kept alertness just below the shallows of ease. You were a big deal in the Sky-Faring Commision, handling everything that involved the movement of goods of any kind. The seven Luofu Sky-Faring Commision Guilds imported and exported all sorts of products, but you arranged the receiving and releasing of said products. Suffice it to say, without you, the flow of hundred thousands of containers moving through the Luofu would be clashing in a blinding chaos. Much of the laymen didn’t realise that the ever-capable Logistics Master had not been at her post for the past ten years. Merely seeing you led them to assume you were doing your job as usual. As for admin and employees within the Commision… the temporary Master’s term had to be extended with the additional request (read: order) that any concerns were put to rest assuringly. Now, he had been relieved with good compensation and you were put in your proper position, everything would continue as normal.

No harm done.

Jing Yuan’s lips twitched when you scoff at his comment. “Still saying such things?” You say. “Hmph, my past self might have tolerated it, but I won’t. If you like her so much, then show me the same respect!”

“Why not act as casually as I treat you? Even the staff at the Seat call me Jing Yuan.” He leaned forward with a blossoming innocent smile. “You’re already acting so haughty and you’ve only just received your journals, have you forgotten who your official guardian is?”

“I knew it! My previous incarnation was a fool to put me in your hands!” You whined.

Mengming comes over just in time to stop your pouting fest with two refreshingly cold Immortal’s Delight. As you drag the drink closer, the expertly swirled fluffy whipped cream hardly bobs on top of the blended milk tea drink. A tiny hum of approval leaves your now grinning lips. That meant the drink was freshly blended, ice crystals still solid in the ideally near-frozen treat. Sprinkled on top is a generous cluster of brown sugar bits, glistening in what light sneaks into the shaded tea shop, as if the sweet syrupy goodness layered at the bottom of the same ingredient wasn’t enough. It forms a murky fog that swirls cloudily with the liquid, just waiting to be stirred and messed about inside the cup. Hiding amidst the murk are bouncy and chewy pearls, treasures you can’t wait to hunt with the red straw.

You waste no time taking a big gulp, uncaring of how the freeze travels straight to your brain. A sugary explosion bursts in your mouth, accompanied by the slight bitterness of the tea in the most uplifting manner. Unaware of how the bliss draws happy hum after hum, you chew on the pearls. Your hair sways side to side with your head, hands gripping the drink tightly like the magical treat it was.

The general takes a sip of his own, and savours the taste with you with closed eyes. Your past self was not here for the drink’s creation, and your go-to refreshment was a personally brewed pot of Whale-Tide Spring tea. Your present self, however, was less interested in the archaic drink and preferred the more modern one. What a shock it was to him when you refused another sip of the tea, letting out a small ‘bleh’ after only the first. In contrast, your love for Immortal’s Delight was as strong as your past love for Whale-Tide Spring (which was saying quite a lot, you always had a porcelain jar full of the leaves).

Ever since its introduction, Immortal’s Delight has been a hit with the Luofu locals, but especially with you. His original intention was to reintroduce you to your favourite tea, but with how sideways that went, he tried something else. Yes, he received weird looks from others as he ushered a toddler to take a sip of the chilly thick drink, but you loved it in the end so that was that. It was also of great amusement to him how you cried and grabbed for it when he threatened to finish the rest of it. And yes, he gave you an extra sip because you learnt how to ask nicely that day.

His eyes open to return to your form. Visions of the past overlaid themselves with the present. Past you was elegant, dignified with that slight tinge of whimsy. Present you was excitable, childish, bursting with a starlight that shone from your eyes—something he supposed could be called ‘youthful innocence.’ He wonders if this is what you were like in your younger days… thousands of years ago. You had mentioned how millenia of diligent journaling has maintained your wisdom’s edge no matter how many times you’ve moulted. It’s a well-known fact in the Xianzhou Luofu that the Sky-Faring Logistics Master never changes. Same name, same personality, somehow you’ve managed to create a unique sense of immortality…

‘I’ll be moulting soon. I must ensure that all my knowledge and character are well-documented for my next reincarnation,’ you told him one day. Back then, he was a young apprentice under Jingliu, helping to move boxes of journals to your new residence. It was sunny that day, and he had just finished another exercise of 10,000 sword strokes, but he was eager to help as soon as he caught a glimpse of you in the distance. He had asked why you kept so many records, refusing to admit his struggle with the weight yet still feeling the strain of them all the same.

‘Why does your reincarnation need to know all this?’

You tilt your head over your shoulder to smile at him, long horns extending gracefully in an arch against the bright sky. ‘I have been master over the Luofu’s goods flow for longer than you can ever imagine. Whether it be the receiving of commercial goods for residents or sending military supplies to our Cloud Knights, the hand that draws lanes and guides starskiffs must be an experienced one. The history of trade is great and the eyes that witness are the eyes that must be preserved.’

You wave a hand lightly at the box he carries. ‘—hence my records.’

He wonders just how much you’ve changed under his care. Letting you develop with hardly any direct influence from your past self must’ve affected you somehow. Not that he wanted you to change, Lan forbid. He loved you dearly, and he’s seen you be reborn over and over. He still dreams of every life you've lived and every moment you shared with him. As a good friend of his parents who worked in the Realm-Keeping Commision, he’s known you even before joining the Cloud Knights. Respect turned into admiration, then adoration, and further still in his adolescent years, a boyish crush which developed into an intimate love (and the lust that accompanies it) that he disguises under a close and familiar friendship.

Qingzu likes to say ‘when the Sky-Faring Logistics Master steps into the Seat of Divine Foresight, the Dozing General dozes no longer.’ So perhaps he isn’t subtle about his feelings at all.

Jing Yuan finds himself enjoying you enjoy your drink rather than enjoying the drink itself. You’re adorable, unbearably so. He’s met you in this age before but you’re always trying so hard to maintain your poise that he hasn’t seen you act this way. Really, you’re quite different now. As a kid you would quite literally jump for joy when he bought your favourite food or read you your favourite books. Pouting wasn’t a strange occurrence either. Sometimes he indulges in a little bullying to rile you up, have you stomping all over the place before giving you what you wanted. He watches you happily sip away, practically able to see warmth blossoming around you from joy.

Your past selves never pouted nor showed excessive joy, and you had grown into it. He had noticed how the pressure to continue the legacy of your first life strained you, whether it be in the tired narrow of your eyes or the hollow sigh you let spill out. You may be the same in biological make-up, but really, you were successors of someone with very high standards and ambition… or were possibly part of a social experiment (he vocalised that joke at some point and you only shrugged, saying you could understand the intrigue which only makes it more plausible).

The idea that he had ruined you somehow sent excited tingles zipping around in his brain. He had not only yourself in his grasp, but your very personality. When he made the decision to be your guardian, he wasn’t thinking of this indirect consequence. Clutching your bloody egg in his arms, the scene of your head getting cleaved off replaying countlessly in his mind, all he could think about was how he had to protect you and keep you close.

So now you were his adorable little charge, and in the future, hopefully, his beautiful wife. He’s made sure to keep his hands off you, it was distasteful to even attempt and would dishonour you and your past incarnations. But his feelings were very true and well… you were still you. Regardless of how different you acted.

“Why are you suddenly looking so happy…” you asked, nudging the empty cup away. “You haven’t touched your drink, if you don’t want it, can I?”

Just as you say that he takes a huge sip of his Immortal’s Delight, causing a considerable amount to disappear. And much to his delight, you frown a little and keep your eyes on him albeit with an unimpressed expression.

“Now now, no need to make that face,” he mellowly drawls. “I’ve been so distracted by the beauty in front of me that my drink has become watery, how will you compensate?”

“General, I will throw my bag at you!”

He chuckles and continues to languidly sip, watching your face turn red. ‘How satisfying,’ he thinks. Long ago such teasing would only warrant a polite dismissal from you, even if you were blushing. Now he wonders what other expressions he could draw from you…

Two empty cups are left on the table as the both of you leave for a stroll. Jing Yuan had arranged for this lunch break meeting since he hardly sees you anymore. He missed when he could take you with him to his office, it certainly made those boring days go by a lot faster. On days where he’s forced to stay up late signing documents or going over a deployment plan, you’re there sleeping soundly on his lap. It only takes a single glance down to restore his energy. Now that you’re working he only ever gets to see you in the mornings and evenings, not quite enough time.

There’s a pleasant breeze in the air and civilians are moving about peacefully. He allows himself to be lost in the atmosphere until he hears you mutter something. He looks down at you inquisitively with a small ‘hm?’ and you blink up.

“Oh! It’s nothing!” You exclaim, waving your hands. “I was just wondering where Yanqing is.”

Yanqing. Your past self has never met him, he took in the boy not long ago and you’ve happily adopted him as your younger brother. The boy is usually at the training grounds with other Cloud Knights or at home studying (that’s what he tells him, but most likely he was distracted 80% of the time). Jing Yuan did ponder over whether to invite the boy, but decided that he could another time. Just like with you in the past, he brought Yanqing with him almost everywhere, but for today he just wanted to be alone with you.

“He said he would be at the training grounds mastering his sword strokes. Why?” Jing Yuan replied. He leans down closer until you can feel his breath ghost over your cheek. “Are you missing your little brother already?”

He pulls away as you jump in place and stumble back, slapping a hand on the afflicted cheek. He chuckles with an innocent expression at your fluster.

“S-so? I’m just concerned for him! He’s usually with you and as his big sister, I have responsibilities, y-you know!” You sputter. “Don’t get close like that!”

The general quirks an eyebrow and your nervous sweating increases as his smile grows wider. ‘Oh no, what did I say…’

Like you anticipated, he walks closer, backing you up to the railings of the starskiff way.

“What’s wrong with me being close, hm?” He teases, he’s hovering over you now and you lean further back to create more space between you. “Are you getting shy? Is this why you haven’t been giving me any hugs lately?”

Your head began to spin with how hot your face was getting. The truth was you’ve developed a bit of a crush for your superior. Your caretakers have always told you how attached you were to the general, and that hasn’t really changed until you read your past self’s journal. You wrote a lot about the general, like things he said or memories of older days (with exact journal entry numbers…). Sometimes you wrote descriptions of him with comments sprinkled in and it gave you a larger sense of familiarity beyond Jing Yuan just being your mentor. When you read an entry of a time Jing Yuan flirted (that word was nowhere to be found in the entry, but probably because your past self seemed to lack the recognition prowess for romance. You, who has read countless novels in your spare time, was well-acquainted) with your past self, you had to shut the book and almost threw it from your bed in second-hand embarrassment.

That was not the only entry to have contained such contents. And for the entire time, your wise past incarnation assumed it was the general’s usual playfulness and your shared closeness. ‘Wise’! What ‘wise’?! How dense could a person possibly be! A man caresses your hair and says sweet words as the sun sets in front of you—how can it be anything but romantic! You had banged your head against your bed frame, going through multiple revelations at once, which alerted Jing Yuan who came into the room and asked ‘is something wrong?’ To which you quickly hid under the covers and shouted ‘nothing!’ as if that was less suspicious than just telling him you read something embarrassing from a novel.

Anyways, you could never look at the general the same way again. How easy it was to make those memories your own, the way you wrote those entries were very personable. Again, if you were a writer in your past life, you would not be surprised!

He leaned closely and gently ran his hand through some of my hair. The sun was beginning to set and our tea was cold from our lengthy conversation. It was cooling in the balcony of my flat but with Jing Yuan so close, I could not feel the chill.

“And yet another day has passed,” he says, clearly referring to the increasing rosiness of the sky. He has not taken his eyes off me. “Many more are to come. But none of them will be as special as those I spend with you. You are more beautiful than any sunset or celestial phenomena.”

I watched curiously as he lifted the lock of hair to his nose and breathed in softly before kissing it. This made me laugh slightly and I waved him off. “Don’t hold me in such high regard, general. If I were to disappear, the rest of your days would become bleak.”

He looked at me seriously, gold irises glinting in the dying light. Somehow, it always manages to freeze me in place. Perhaps because I’m not used to that kind of emotion on him in moments like these. He took my hand and grips it tightly.

He said, “if you disappeared, the sun in my days would never rise again.”

He loved your past self. You don’t know if that sentiment was the same for your other incarnations, but he loved you deeply. When a young girl witnesses such tenderness and intimacy, even secondhand, how can she not develop feelings?! What made it even worse was the biting awareness that the both of you weren’t the same person. Maybe in body, but not in spirit. You seemed so different from her! And it was all because you didn’t start reading the journals early enough. A late bloomer, that’s what you were. Did he still love you the same way?

“What’s on your mind?” Jing Yuan’s arms trapped you in between them, hands on the rails. “You’re staring so vacantly at me as if you’re thinking about something else.”

That snaps you from the tangled mess of hot wires of your mind. Immediately, you attempt to push him away, glancing nervously at passersby who are beginning to take notice.

“G-general… not here… people are looking…!”

He hums and leans closer, striking gold eyes mere inches away from yours, lips smiling mere fractions away from yours. His white hair falling over your face like a curtain.

“This won’t do,” he whispers. “I can’t have your attention stolen away from me, can I?”

He takes a hand away from the rails to cup your head, tilting it stiffly so you’re angled to face him properly. ‘A kiss,’ you think dumbly. Was he really going to? Did you want him to? Your mind scrambled to sort the complexities of the situation. Technically, you were younger than him, incredibly so. And you were only fifteen! No matter how you looked at it, this was quite illegal wasn’t it?! You tried so hard to ignore this strange circumstance you found yourself in with the general. If only your past self was smarter about it! That stupid journal!

Just as you begin to feel dizzy and light-headed, Jing Yuan pulls away and pats your shoulder casually. “It’s quite rude for your mind to wander off while having a conversation, try to improve next time,” he says before continuing his stroll, leaving you flushed against the rails.

Upon processing his statement, your cheeks heat up further, no longer from embarrassment, but from anger.

“As if you don’t do the same! General!” you shout, charging after him with the intent of giving him a good shove.

Jing Yuan laughs as he accepts your shove, hardly affected. He’s seen enough to ascertain the future of his relationship with this new you—enough to grant him clear foresight. Now all he had to do was play his moves carefully.

In your office, you stare at the poem you were attempting earlier this afternoon. Remembering Jing Yuan turns you red, hastily you scribble down the last line before focusing on the rest of your work.

“Amidst the falling golden light of the Arbor Glowing roots spread across the ship Conflict blooming from its branches, the pale aurora flames.

Where gingko leaves fall and dance in the wind Blood and despair follows Halls of humanity, forgotten in the pride bred from our bones.

Thus sings our short history Where legends live and never die In heart and in mind.”

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