#I have one more ask to answer. but send me more anyway

[not-inappropriate]

I will say, the entry level job market on indeed dot com does indeed dot suck. But I think I’ve learned a decent amount since indeed and company websites are the only job boards I’ve used, and I’ve had a decent career so far, so I feel like I’ve got some decent advice. if any of this helps anyone at all hell yeah.

So:

1) HR people ALWAYS exaggerate the requirements. However much experience they say they want, you probably need one third of that. Certifications required usually means certifications preferred, depending on the industry. Like, Don’t apply to a surgeon position with only a nursing degree; but there’s a solid chance you can get a job with a CPA firm without being a CPA yourself. Just make sure you can give some sort of explanation as to why you would be able to do the job if asked.

Story: My brother (1 year experience, Bachelor’s degree) was once encouraged to apply to a new position within his company by his boss, who had instructed HR on the requirements and experience needed for the position (bachelors required, entry level, 1-3 year experience preferred), and when my brother goes to the website to apply it says 3-5 years experience required, Masters degree preferred. Bro said boss was PISSED. HR can be a joke sometimes.

2) Cover letters are usually pointless if it’s not an extreme specialty position with few candidates. Unless it says they’re highly encouraged or something

3) Maybe the most important: send follow up emails for EVerything. I think this is what held me back for months when I first started using indeed. And it doesn’t matter how bland or thoughtless is is. Two sentences in an HR bro’s inbox is worth 10 cover letters. And if you got a screening call or an interview and haven’t heard back in a week+ ?? Call their ass. They might offer the job to you on the spot. Last time I was job hunting I got a mid offer, after being ghosted on two good offers I’d interviewed for. I called both of them and said Soooo y’all make a decision??? They both offered me a job within 24 hours. (Brag, sorry)

Each listing probably has hundreds of applicants. People just spamming their resume across the internet. And emails, or especially calls, show actual interest. Go to the company website > about us > our staff > contact us > whatever. “Hi Mr. Bob. I saw your listing on indeed and wanted to introduce myself. I graduated this year and had trouble contacting anybody on the job listing websites, but I believe I have the qualifications necessary for the position. If you have a moment, could you forward my email to the relevant parties. My resume is attached. Thank you, XoXo”. Whatever. When I was working in my first entry level job doing data entry and answering phones, I got a phone call like this, and we actually gave the guy an interview (this guy blew it RIP). I’ve seen another boss mad when he got a call from a reasonably qualified applicant who said they hadn’t heard back after applying on one of the other job listing sites, and he came out yelling at his secretary (yeah he was an asshole), demanding to see the resume. Offered him the job in the first interview. (Hell yeah). Plus people feel bad turning you down after hearing your voice. You’re a human to them now.

4)As far as finding more relevant jobs? Similar to point 1. For entry level, select the 1-3 years experience instead. For bookkeeping, choose accounting instead. When I was also looking for a bookkeeping job, I couldn’t find one for the life of me. When I was looking for accounting jobs as a Managerial Auditior?? Bookkeeping listings all over my indeed page. Yeah it’s bullshit, but aiming up helps. Thats about all I have for that though.

So yeah. Apply to things you might not perfectly meet the requirements for. Emails and phone calls get people’s attention. and Real Bosses are often pissed when they find out the inefficiencies of HR and job boards too. Just send it

Anyway. Job hunting can be the least fun endeavor on the planet. Sending thotts and prayors for the lot of you 🙏🙏🙏 and praying I never have to do it again (now that I found my dream job) (on indeed dot com) (fuck indeed dot com) (but also thank you indeed dot com)

do genuinely find it fascinating how indeed.com is like the biggest job-hunting website out there and yet manages to be profoundly useless in every possible way

[fairytaleendingss]

Room for One More?

Chapter 9

Summary: Secrets are revealed on New Years Eve.

CW: Alcohol consumption, sexual references, mention of cigarettes, swearing, lots of drama.

Pairing: Poly!Marauders x fem!reader

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8

--

"YOU SLEPT WITH SIRIUS?!"

"Shh! Mary keep your voice down," you uttered, looking around to see how many of your coworker's heads had swivelled towards you in response to Mary's loud exclamation.

"Sorry," she grimaced. "I'm just.. I'm in shock."

You sighed and leaned back where you were perched on the corner of her desk. "I think I am a bit as well."

There was a pause.

"Well, was it good?"

"Mary! Oh my god!" you groaned and threw a hand over your face to hide your mortification.

"What? I'm just asking. I can't say that I haven't imagined it once or twice myself-"

You slapped her gently across the shoulder with the back of your hand. "You're distrubed. You know that?"

She smirked. "You know you love me."

You rolled your eyes affectionately at your friend. "Anyway, we'd been drinking and it was Christmas and we were having such a wonderful time. I think we just got swept up in it all and now I don't know what to do. Things have been kind of... weird between us."

"Well have you guys talked about it?" Mary inquired.

"That's the thing. Afterwards he just kind of moved on like it never happened. I don't know if he thinks it was a mistake or something but it's stressing me out."

"Hmm," a thoughtful look crossed Mary's face as she took everything in. "Well how are you feeling about it? Do you think it was a mistake?"

You bit the inside of your cheek. "No? I-I don't think so. I dont know."

A look of realisation washed over Mary's face. "Do you like him??"

"I mean, of course I like him. I'm just not sure I like like him."

Your friend sighed exasperatedly. "Oh my god! We're not in Primary School, just answer the damn question!"

"Fine! I guess the answer is... yes?" you sighed. "But whatever! Does it even make a difference? He's made it exceptionally clear that he doesn't feel the same way."

"Look," Mary huffed, her expression growing sincere. "Sirius is great. He's fun and friendly and a total flirt but he's also been known to be a little emotionally constipated. Just be honest with him. Talk to him about it. He's not going to be able to pick up on any signals you're trying to send him."

You squeezed your eyes shut and let out a breath throught your nose. "Ugh fine."

"Good girl," Mary smiled. "Now go away. I actually have some work to get done today."

"Oh fine. I suppose I know when I'm not wanted," you teased, getting up and walking back towards your desk.

"Love you!" Mary called lightheartedly as you walked away.

"Yeah, yeah," you joked in response.

As you arrived back at your desk and slumped down in your chair, prepared to get back to work, a head peaked down at you over the cubical.

"Oh, you're back, I see."

You jumped slightly at the unexpected voice and looked up to see its perpertrator.

"Yes, Glenn. Hi. Is there anything I can help you with?"

Glenn was a new employee in your office and he sat in the cubical opposite yours. He was only a few years older than you and he was tall and fit with short blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. In the few weeks you'd known him for, he'd been particularly friendly towards you and recently you'd been getting the idea that he had taken a liking to you.

You weren't interested of course. He was an attractive guy but not really your type. And with everything going on with Sirius over the last week, you'd been making a effort to put some distance between you. You definitely weren't looking for anything of that nature right now and you didn't want to give him the wrong impression. However, Glenn was nothing if not persistant.

"Actually, I was just wondering if you had any plans for new years tonight? A few of my mates are throwing a party and you're welcome to join us if you're interested."

You sent him you're most empathetic smile. "That sounds lovely but unfortunately I already have some plans with my friends."

He sighed, flashing you a grin that looked suspiciously rehearsed. "Oh well. No problem. It was worth a shot. You have fun tonight."

"You too, Glenn."

As the man dissapeared back over the divider, you let out a heafty sigh. Tonight was surely going to be interesting.

--

The view was impeccable from the bar where your friends had gathered to spend New Years. In fact, seated beside a huge floor to ceiling window, you suspected you'd have a clear view of the New Years fireworks.

It was a classy joint, one that Dorcas had managed to get you access to through one of her fancy lawyer contacts.

Everyone was assembled on stools around a table, looking out over the London skyline. It was about four hours until midnight and the group was chatting excitedly in the lead up.

"I've got shots!" Mary called out and everyone cheered as she returned to the table with a tray.

She passed the drinks around and then took her seat beside you.

"Well, I suggest a toast!" James called out, grabbing the attention of the group. "To a wonderful year ahead, and many more memories with old, and new, friends!"

He emphasised the last line with a pointed look in your direction and you felt your cheeks growing hot.

"Cheers!" Marlene shouted enthusiastically and the others echoed her sentiments, clinking glasses and swallowing their drinks.

The burning of the liquor was welcomed as the drink ran down your throat. You'd been thinking a lot about what Mary had said to you in regards to your situation with Sirius. And as he sat beside you, laughing animatedly at one of Peter's stories, it only confirmed your worst fears. Maybe you were starting to develop feelings for your roommate. You grimaced at the thought. Things were bound to get messy in situations like this.

"So guys," Sybil piped up from across the table. "Let's all go around and say our New Years resolutions."

"Oh, I'll go first!" James volunteered. "I hope my team continues to play a great season annnddd... I want to work out more."

There was a collective groan.

"Come on, James. That's not a real one!" Mary complained.

Sirius chuckled, taking a pointed sip of his drink. "Yeah! You already work out like 7 times a day!"

"Ugh, okay fine!" James responded with groan. He thought for a moment. "How about this one. I'd like to fall in love this year."

You didn't miss the way his eyes flickered across the table towards Lily and you felt your heart sink. Lily seemed to take notice a well as she averted her eyes, taking a heafty gulp of the drink in her hand.

"Aww, James. Always the romantic, aren't you?" Marlene chuckled.

"Shut up." James rolled his eyes playfully. "Your turn then, Marls."

"Okay," She took a deep breath. "My goal this year is to become super rich and famous and sucessful."

"I second that!" Mary called across the table and you giggled as they clinked their glasses.

"Y/n. Your turn," Dorcas announced.

"Oh okay, um..." you thought for a moment, your gaze flashing to James and Remus across the table, then over to Sirius, who was watching you expectanly, a playlful glimmer in his stormy eyes.

You then looked back towards the rest of the group. "This year, I'd like to spend some more time with you lovely people."

A round of cooing echoed across the table and Mary threw her arms around you.

"Well aren't you just the sweetest!"

"Oh, and I'd like to work more on my novel," you added.

"Alright, alright. Sirius, you're up!" Marlene chimed.

The boy beside you pursed his lips, looking off into the distance as if deep in thought. Then, after a long moment, he turned back to all of you with a mischievous smirk on his lips.

"This year, I want to have lots of amazing sex!"

"Ew. Sirius, you're so foul," Lily exclaimed, followed by a symphany of similar sentiments from the other members of the group.

While everyone else was distracted, grumbling and groaning about Sirius' bluntness, the man leaned down towards you.

"You look great tonight, by the way." He whispered into your hair.

You gulped thickly, not quite sure what to do with yourself. You opted for downing the remainder of your Vodka, Lime and Soda.

--

As the evening drew on, you found yourself growing more anxious in Sirius' presence. You weren't quite sure what his game was, whether it was the alcohol or he was just feeling extra bold tonight, but he'd been suspiciously flirtatious.

You didn't know how to respond. Part of you wanted to let him. To let him woo you and go crawling back for more of what you'd had together on Christmas Night. However, the other, more logical part of you, told you that was a terrible idea. He was your roommate afterall. The last thing you wanted was to start some complicated friends-with-benefits situation with a guy you lived with, especially one that you had sort of, maybe, possibly had caught feelings for.

You downed another drink, feeling the alcohol grip you and hoped it would help to ease the nerves ever so slightly. You realised then, that you were staring.

Sirius had gone to the bar to order another round of drinks and you'd been watching with bated breath as he sent his signature smile to a girl wearing an explicitly tight black dress. You noticed the way she leaned forward, pressing her cleavage up against the bar as she spoke to him. God, could she be anymore obvious?

"Calm the hell down, y/n!" You thought to yourself. "It's not like you guys are together. He can flirt with whoever he wants."

"Hey, are you okay?" you raked your eyes away from the scene as a voice came from beside you.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine," You muttered absently, too distracted to notice that it was Remus who asked the question.

"Okay, never have I ever... made out with more than one person on the same night!" Mary's voice rang out and you forced your attention back to the group.

You weren't sure when this game had begun but you suspected it was suggested by one of the girls (likely Mary or Marlene) as a way to pass the final hour until midnight. You hadn't participated in this game since probably highschool, but you were all a few drinks in at this point so you figured, what the hell?

You watched as Marlene, James and Dorcas all took a sip. Then Lily sent Mary a pointed look.

"Come on, Mary. That's not how the game works. You have to say something you haven't done."

"I haven't!" Mary responded. Then she paused. "Oh wait, yeah I definitely have."

Everyone chuckled as she took a drink.

"Alright! Dorcas! Your turn." Mary nudged the girl in the side.

Dorcas rolled her eyes. "For the record, I just want to say, I think this game is stupid."

"Come on babe. Don't be a party pooper!" Marlene exclaimed, leaning in towards her girlfriend. "How else are we supposed to learn everyone's deepest darkest secrets."

Dorcas sighed and shook her head but there was a hint of a smile on her face. She really could never say no to Marlene.

"Ugh, fine. Never have I ever stolen something."

"Well that's a hard one," Mary muttered. "What do we count as stealing? Because I've stolen stuff from James a ton of times."

"Oi!" James shouted, looking positively affronted. Mary sent him an apologetic smile.

"No, not like that," Dorcas clarified. "It had to have been from an actual shop."

You all sat up straight for a moment, curiously looking around the group to see if anyone had. Hesitantly, Peter lifted his glass to his lips.

"Pete! What the hell!" James exclaimed.

"I don't know, I went through a phase in highschool!"

"What sort of stuff did you take?" Marlene pressed.

Peter shrugged. "Chocolate and ciggarettes, mostly."

There was an eruption of laughter that rippled across the table at Peter's revelation.

"Wow, I didn't know there was a degenerate among us," Lily teased, watching Peter's face flush bright red.

"Okay, okay. My turn!" Marlene said, once the laughter died down. "Never have I ever... gotten really sloshed and fallen down the stairs at my 18th birthday party"

"Hey! That's not fair!" James moaned, taking a sip of his beer. "You can't do targeted ones!"

Marlene just shrugged. "Sorry, but I don't think that was established in the rules."

James smirked. "Fine then! Never have I ever had sex with someone at this table."

Your blood ran cold for a moment as you glanced back towards the bar. You sighed in relief when you saw that Sirius was still over there. In that case, you technically hadn't slept with anyone at the table. You were off the hook for now.

Marlene rolled her eyes at James and took a drink, as well as Dorcas, Peter and Sybil, however, you watched James' eyes widen as Mary also took a long sip.

"Mary!" Lily hissed across the table. Your heart plummeted.

"What?" Mary shrugged, the alcohol clearly having gone to her head. "We have to! It's the rules."

"Wait! Hold on," Marlene murmered, her eyes drifting between the two girls. "Did you guys..."

There was a heavy anticipatory silence that hung over the table as you all awaited Lily's response. The girl grimaced, as she tried to muster some kind of explanation.

It was then that her eyes drifted up to meet James' pleading ones.

"Lily?" the boy asked softly. Your heart broke for him.

"So I guess the cat's out of the bag huh?" the girl sighed. "Mary and I have sort of been seeing each other. Romantically."

"Holy shit!" Marlene shouted, candid and straight to the point as she usually was in these situations.

"How long has this been going on?" Dorcas questioned.

"It's still really new," Lily explained.

"We were just trying to figure out the right time to tell you guys," Mary added.

"So you're the one Mary has been seeing?" James murmered.

"Yes," Lily responded. "I'm sorry James but you had to know it was never going to work out between us."

The boy sighed, running a hand through his unruly curls. "Yeah, I know."

Then he started to stand. "I think I just need some air for a minute."

"James, wait-" Remus reached out to grab his arm but James shook him off.

"I just need minute," he repeated, grabbing his coat from the back of his chair and hurrying towards the exit. Part of you wanted to go after him but the other part recognised that he probably needed some space to process things.

"Sorry, everyone. I didn't mean to ruin the night," Mary murmered folornly.

"No hun! you didn't ruin anything," you comforted.

"Yeah, we're really happy for you two," Dorcas added.

"Really?"

Everyone nodded.

"Absolutely. You both deserve to be happy," Remus confirmed.

Wide smiles crossed over the girls' faces.

--

It was two minutes until midnight and Sirius was nowhere to be seen. Despite your better judgement, you couldn't help but feel slightly disapointed. You supposed that there was some small aspect of your mind that hoped Sirius would be your New Years kiss.

You knew it was wishful thinking, especially when you hadn't even spoken about what happened between you, but with how he'd been acting towards you throughout the night, you'd allowed yourself to nurture that flicker of hope.

As people crowded around the window and the countdown began, you found your eyes searching the room for the dark haired man, wondering if just maybe, he'd make a last minute appearance.

"Five, four, three, two..."

You scanned the space one last time.

"One!"

You're last flicker of hope died out as your eyes finally landed on his form.

"Happy New Year!"

The shouts and cheers faded into the background as you watched Sirius press his lips to those of the boob-y blonde you'd seen him flirting with before.

The moment seemed to go in slow motion. You watched from afar as he tangled his hand in her hair, just as he'd done in yours only a week prior.

"Of course," you thought. "Typical"

It was Sirius Black you were talking about. You were stupid to think you meant anything more to him than a casual night of fun.

In an instant, you turned on your heel and walked towards the door, the sounds of the party fading into the background. You decided, instead of bumming around waiting for Sirius to notice you, you'd go look for James, just as you should've done much earlier.

The cold hit you like a block of cement as you stepped outside onto the street. It didn't take you long to find him.

He was sitting on the curb, outside of he bar, arms resting on his knees as he looked up towards the sky. Another explosion sounded and a flash of colour filled the air. In the distance, you could hear the cheers of excited people all around as they celebrated.

"Happy New Year, James."

He turned to look at you and in the flash of light, as another firework flickered across the sky, you were able to notice the faint tear tracks that lined his cheeks.

"Oh hey." he sniffled, rubbing a hand beneath his glasses and trying to regain a semblance of composure.

BANG!

You flopped unceremoniously onto the ground beside him as another flash filled the sky. You gave him a sympathetic smile. Funnily enough, in that moment, you knew exactly how he felt.

"Are you okay?" You asked him gently.

He let out a dry chuckle. "Yeah. I will be."

BANG!

"Good."

You both turned your gazes back to the display, taking in the beautiful array of colours filling the air. It wasn't quite the view you'd expected for the night, but somehow, that didn't seem to matter.

As you continued to watch the fireworks, you felt the gentle touch of a hand wrapping around your own. You smiled slightly as your fingers intertwined.

BANG!

Slowly, you shuffled closer and leaned into him, gently resting your head on James broad shoulder.

You stayed like that a while, just taking in the show, and each other's company.

--

Taglist:

@hisparentsgallerryy @navs-bhat @shushbruv @magicwithaknife @eeviee4 @notapoetjustscar @gugggu6gvai @robertsmithclone @ilovesugurugeto69 @taytayy178 @its-notkiee @bugworldsworld @switchingfandomslikecrazy @evangelquill, @delusional-4-fake-people, @ch4rlotte35, @insideoutjulie, @hiireadstuff, @laniirackssss, @starrystormwritings, @strategicsweetheart, @1800brat, @sammyreid, @frootloops1213, @ill-be-okay-soon-enough

[luckykiwiii101]

Hi girl!!! It's bonecatch3r. I'm sending the ask as anonymous because bonecatch3r is a SIDEBLOG and since I don't have much experience on tumblr I'm not sure if it would show up as the main blog or not. anyway, sorry for not clarifying if the 3D actually conformed to those manifestations I told you about before, but these ones I'm sharing now actually happened;;;

- First of all, I was worried because my period was delayed. it already had been two months.... so I focused on the 4D and reassured myself that it would come. Few minutes later, it's there. Currently I'm having extreme cramps but at least I'm glad the period came lmaoo. might as well manifest pain relief.

- My parents agreed to pay for Clip Studio's annual plan. I'm an artist, so this was extra special for me. in fact it JUST happened, I'm writing this while shaking out of happiness.

- A friend of mine suddenly started to give me dry answers, so I imagined them acting normally again and went to sleep. when I woke up, I saw the notification and we are alright again.

- I don't have artblock anymore!!!!

- I don't have compulsions anymore. I used to overeat like crazy, now I'm healing from it 😋

Idk if there are more manifestations, as I mentioned before I'm so happy with the clip studio thing that I can barely think, LOL. Anyway, love your blog! ♡

SUCCESS STORIES

XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL

These are great love!! And you’re an artist? That’s so cool! Congratulations!!♥️💋

[the-fab-fox]

This is so true. I recently saw a recipe for a really healthy meal on a recipe blog. I clicked the author's name and found my way to their actual domained website. In their about, I found the email. I have emailed them asking if there was a way to do the recipe but in a crockpot due to the pretty unsafe environment I live in—due to the skuzzy way my roommate/Subletter acts, I don't feel safe using the kitchen. I have not received an answer but from my experience sending out emails to people one would not generally consider, I know one of two things will happen. They will simply not respond (that is to say ignore or disregard my email) or they will answer and let me know if it can be done or let me know they don't have the time or energy to offer that solution. And these two options aren't bad at all. There's no consequence.

So even if they *don't* answer, what's the problem with asking when the worst outcome is simply no answer. You're literally losing nothing no matter the outcome, and more times than you think you're gaining something.

A few more examples on this:

I'm very much a networker. I am a people person and really good at striking up random conversations with people. Been that way my whole life. I just love interacting and helping people. (I'm a customer service professional of 20 years if that says anything).

I also am pretty intermediate with computers and very good at writing resumes and cover letters for job resumes and things like that. A lot of that comes from the fact that when I was younger, if I wanted something that could only come from a specific person/company/entity/etc, I would search and research until I found the contact needed.

Sometimes I'd be pleasantly surprised, sometimes not. But I never lost anything by trying.

A few times I was pleasantly surprised:

I was/am really into Criminal Minds as a TV show. Got into it in my 20s. It's become a comfort show (as weird as that is for a show about a fictionalized Behavioral Analysis Unit in the FBI). I was thinking... What would it take to be a BAU agent. It's probably nothing like the show so what's it like really. So I went on USAjobs.gov to look into it. Found contact for FBI. Emailed with a well edited and professional email (yes, this is absolutely important if you want to be taken seriously—if anyone would like me to draft up an example of what that could look like in a specific scenario, I'm happy to help!) as well as I could at the age I was at (basically, write it as well written and professional as you know how at where you're at now—don't try to "sound" professional and use big words. Just write as you but more formal). Lo and behold, I got my answer and it was quite thorough and they even warned me that the team as is seen on the show is very over glorified and the BAU mostly consults from afar and very rarely goes into the field. Lol. But you still have to pass the entrance exams which include physical.

2nd time, around the same time. I was a member of a Matthew Gray Gubler (Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds) fan blog on Live journal. (Really aging yourself, here, Finley 🤣) Anyway. There was a movie we heard of that MGG would be in but no one knew if it was true or really happening or if the project was still in the works or had been stalled. I did a Google search, found the movies official page, found a contact email or form. I was consise in my subject line and consise in my email (my thinking was entertainment people are gonna be hella busy so put my inquiry in as little but still respectful and professional words as possible. I stated who I was, my experience leading to my question (in this case I said something along the lines of 'my name is Finley Beckett and I'm a member of a Mattew Gray Gubler fan blog. The group of us have been looking forward to the movie that if coming out but we haven't heard anything about it or whether it's still happening or not. I was hoping that you might be able to shine some light on this. Also, due to the questionable relience of the internet these days, would it be at all possible to send some kind of proof that you are indeed the people behind the movie. I won't share with the group, of course, but that way I can with 100% confidence, inform them of your response). And two or so days later I got an email from the director of the movie himself (and keep in mind this was a lower budget film and pretty sure straight to DVD so obviously this would likely not work with someone like say George Lucas or Christopher Nolan or Stephen Spielberg) emailed me back and gave me not only what has been happening as far as movie production but as well as a few production stills that included MGG within them.

I've gotten to correspond with two of my favorite novelists due to finding their websites and through those, their contacts. (Business inquiry emails count as contacts). And one of them, probably my favorite author of all time (Tamora Pierce) even looked over some of my writing at the time and gave me some really great feedback. To this day I cherish this moment even if I've lost the email to time.

Ultimately, the biggest advice I can give on this sort of thing is best summed up in this quote:

"You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take. Even though there is only a 1-5% probably of scoring."

— Wayne Gretzky (not Michael Scott 🤣)

And I left in the second part because it confirms what I've said. Like yes, there's only a 1-5% chance of getting something out of reaching out, especially in this day and age.

That said, if you never try, that percentage stays at 0%. Full stop.

You're already at 0%, so it would make more sense if you tried because even if you fail, you're already at 0% so you've literally got nothing to lose, right?

IDK if any of this will help but I wanted to try just the same. (See what I did there? 😉)

[dragqueenstarscream]

So I’m someone who is also an abuse survivor whose my situation was eerily similar to Starscream's in a lot of ways, I was initially writing this as a response to your post from a few days ago about why writing TFP Starscream redemption is really hard, but it kinda sorta grew beyond that a little bit so I figured I’d send it as an ask. I’m also not 100% sure how much of this is actually true and how much of it is just me projecting onto him so. yea

I feel like a big part of why it'd be really hard to put Starscream with the autobots, more specifically if the war isn't over yet, is that when Starscream isn't at Megatron's side he has an intense need to be the one responsible for taking him down. If he joined the autobots then at the end of it all Megatron wouldn't see it as *Starscream* taking him down.

The way I see it, Starscream has an intense need to be Megatron's top priority. It's the reason why he's able to on a dime switch from being undyingly loyal to him in one moment and betray him in the next. When he's with Megatron, he makes Megatron his top priority in the hopes that he will in return be Megatron's top priority, and when that doesn't happen, he lashes out and betrays him, because then Megatron *has* to make him his top priority. He couldn’t be his top priority as an ally, so he has to be his top priority as an enemy.

The tragedy of Starscream is that he's so hopelessly dependent on Megatron's attention that it doesn't even matter what form it comes in, which I think is also a big reason why he was willing to put up with the abuse, and is definitely the reason why when he learns about the omega keys the idea of him joining the autobots is barely given a second’s thought. If he joined the autobots he’d just be helping Optimus get the attention from Megatron that’s supposed to be going to *him*. Optimus, the one who this whole time has always been Megatron’s top priority as an enemy, has always had the one thing Starscream really wanted.

He’d rather go back to Megatron, knowing exactly what he’s signing up for in the moment, in hopes that *maybe* once he defeats the autobots and becomes the ruler of Cybertron, things will be different. And anyone can see that they wouldn’t be, but boy is he gonna delude himself into thinking they would.

And he’s not aware of any of this subtext, of course. He’s never gonna catch on that this was what it was always about. anyways I’ve never thought much of OpStar but now that i’m thinking about it there’s actually some sauce there I might have to look into this

this ask took me a while to answer because it genuinely made me think pretty hard about my own personal megatron and my situation there. i know that's weird coming from someone who posts about robot bdsm, but... yeah. yeah you really hit the nail on the head here.

if there's one thing starscream wants above all else, it's to be the center of megatron's attention. maybe in the past it was so that he could be admired by megatron, someone he may have once viewed as an idol or possible friend, but now, that's been subverted. megatron is obsessed with 1.) himself and 2.) optimus, and starscream is neither. if megatron won't pay attention to him for his merits, he'll definitely pay attention when starscream tries to kill him.

and that's why it hurts when megatron dismisses him. because even when starscream tries his damnedest to overthrow megatron, megatron sees him less like a legitimate threat and more like an annoying bug he wants to step on.

of course, starscream could join the autobots. optimus has made it clear that he's willing to welcome decepticons open to changing teams. he tried with dreadwing, and knock out switched sides of his own volition. it's not that decepticons can't become autobots. it's that starscream feels he can't, because then, he loses that attention. he loses megatron, and no matter how much he hates him, it's still a blow to his ego.

hell, the omega keys are the perfect example of this. cybertron was a deserted wasteland. he could've easily restored cybertron and crowned himself king if he wanted. but he threw aside his own dreams and desires (unethical as they may have been) for the attention of someone who wants him dead.

and that's the vicious cycle of abuse. abuse victims can get so caught in that cycle that it's just what they naturally return to, whether it's with their original abuser or someone just like them. victims will put up with so much shit just so they can feel "loved" by their abuser, and when the victim finally decides they've had enough, it can be difficult to just move on. victims may want their revenge, and that makes them their abuser's center of attention again.

it makes me wonder if starscream could ever truly kill megatron. that's the insidious thing about this type of abuse. abusers like this make your whole world revolve around them. once they're gone, you feel this sense of emptiness, this hole in your chest, because they've taken up so much of your life that it's hard to think of much else. it makes me think, even if starscream really did kill megatron, would he be able to break the cycle, or would he just feel an empty hole in his core?

i'm speaking from personal experience here. i won't go into too much detail, but my megatron is one of my parents. they've put me through so much bullshit, some of which actually threatened my life, and yet i still seek their attention because who doesn't want to be loved? who doesn't want attention?

but, like starscream, i get resentful. if they won't notice the good i do for them, they'll certainly notice my anger. i want to lash out and take my revenge. i want them to feel just how much i despise them. and maybe, when i do, things will be different.

but hey, unlike starscream, at least i'm self aware about it.

(on that last note though, yeah, this whole thing is why i love starop so much as a ship, especially with past megop. optimus has moved on from megatron after seeing him for who he really is, and maybe, just maybe, he can help starscream too. but not without some kicking and screaming on starscream's part because change can suck.)

[pedrosgrogu]

Born Too Late - Chapter 12

pairing/au: neighbor!joel x reader // no outbreak

Warnings: none I can think of for this specific chapter but still no minors. lmk if there should be some.

Summary: Days after Joel apologized, you're still weighing your options. He asks you if you can take Sarah home for him, and you enjoy your afternoon with her. (2.1k+)

a/n: hiiiii. so this is just a lil filler chapter i guess. i wanted reader to bond more with sarah. also didnt want to jump right back into joel because he was not kind. sorry if theres typos/formatting issues. both nights i worked on this i was sleepy as hell. ill try to get one-two more out before next week! im headed out of town and when i get back classes are starting. xoxo

Chapter 11 - Masterlist - Chapter 13 (coming soon)

The weekend flys by quicker than you’d like. Your alarm rings and you groggily turn it off, sequencing the day before crawling to the kitchen and starting a pot of coffee. The aroma fills your house while you shower, washing the events of the past 4 days away for the millionth time. 

You haven’t heard from Joel but you aren’t bothered by it. You appreciate that he’s giving you the space and time, but you have a weird complex surrounding him. You’ve seen how good he can be to you, to Sarah, to others- but you’ve also seen how unpleasant he can be. You try not to think about it on the way to work, but you see him loading his truck up when you head out. He throws up a small wave with a smile, you nod back. Unlocking the car door, you throw everything into the passenger seat and set your travel mug in the cup holder, and head to work. 

The day is pretty uneventful. The kids are wild but it’s expected after a longer break. You take it as an opportunity to go back over rules and expectations in the classroom, and even turn it into a game. You don’t have lunch duty today so you head back to your room to eat and hear your phone ring from inside your desk. 

New Message From: Joel

Your stomach flips.

Late notice but anyway you can bring Sarah home today and keep her at my house until I finish up? Theres a key under the flowerpot on the porch, you can keep it just in case. I’m gonna be home later than expected. I'd really appreciate it. 

As nervous as you are to be in Joel’s house, to have a fucking key to his house, you don’t even have to think about it. Because the answer for Sarah is always yes. 

Hey! Sure thing. Do you want me to give her dinner? 

You click send and anxiously wait on a response, scarfing your lunch down before you have to go get your class. 

Ding 

Dinner would be great, and help yourself to anything you want. Theres chicken nuggets, pizza, and some leftover pasta. Sarah really struggled to get up this morning so she’ll need to be in bed before I get home. I shouldn’t be any later than 9 or so, so bedtime around 8:30 at the latest. 

Before you can respond, you have to head to the cafeteria to get your class. They all walk groggily down the hallway back to class, bellies full and eyes tired. 

The rest of the day drags. You do independent reading, recess, and a little social studies before the secretary drops the afternoon notes off. 

“Kiya, you’re a car rider today” you say, looking at her to make sure she heard you. “Dylan you’re going home with Oliver, and Sarah, you’re riding home with me.” Dylan and Oliver high five and Sarah smiles and nods. 

“Why does Sarah always get to go home with you?” a voice from the back of the class exclaims.

“Sarah is my neighbor! And sometimes her dad has to work late so I take her home until he gets home.” Before you can pinpoint who asked, the bell rings. 

“Have a good afternoon everyone! Remember to fill out your reading log!” You say over the shuffle of feet and echos of voices. 

Sarah knows the routine, so she pulls a book out of her backpack and sits quietly reading until its time to go.

In the car, she asks for the Spice Girls and you both jam out the whole way home.

You pull into your driveway first. “I thought I could grab my nail polish and we could do a girls day at your house. How’s that sound?” you say. Sarahs eyes light up, and she begins vigorously shakingher head up and down. 

She follows you into your house. “We won’t be here long” you declare, walking down the hallway. “So leave your shoes on!” You notice her look at the flowers on your counter, the ones from Joel.

You’re walking back up the hall, nail polish in hand. As soon as Sarah sees you she blurts “Are these from my dad?” her head cocked to the side, her eyes wide. “They are. Why do you ask?” she turns her head back upright, and a grin spreads across her face. “No reason.” She says giggling, and walking back out the door. You roll your eyes and follow behind her. 

You pull into Joel’s driveway and turn the car off. Sarah jumps out. “How are we gonna get in?” she asks, inquisitively. 

“Your dad left a key under the flower pot!” You tell her as she heads to the front door while you grab your purse and the bag of nail polishes. 

Once inside, you shoot Joel a quick text just to let him know you’ve got Sarah and are home.

Hey Joel, just wanted to let you know that we’re home. Are you sure about the key? And is there anything specific I need to know about her night routine? 

You set your phone down and sit at the island with Sarah, setting out all the nail polishes. She picks a deep purple with sparkles. You pick a baby blue. The color reminding you of the hydrangeas that your mother used to grow. You let Sarah paint yours first. She’s quiet; heavily focused on perfecting her technique. 

She finishes your hands and the look great, especially for her age. Before you can do hers, yours need to dry. You tell her she can grab a snack and work on homework until its her turn, that way she can watch TV after dinner. She jumps up and grabs some chips and her backpack. 

Ding 

You pick your phone up, skimming Joels response.

Yes, I’m sure about the key. Id rather you have it and not need it than not have it and need it. As for nightime, nothing really. No TV past 7:30, and she needs to shower and read before bed. 

You send a quick “Got it, see you in a few hours!” and sit your phone back down. You help Sarah with her math homework. It’s not your strong suit but you get the job done. 

After about an hour, she finishes her homework and its her turn. 

“Are you enjoying the school year so far?” you ask, painting a thin layer of purple on each of her fingers 

“It’s better now. It kind of wasn’t good at the beginning..” her voice trails off, and she looks down. You dont question her, or push her to tell you why. You already know why. “But its gotten a lot better since being in your class” she says, looking up and smiling. “Im glad!” you say, fanning her nails with your hands so the first layer will dry. She continues talking about school, her favorite subjects and her friends. You’re so thankful to have her. She’s like the little sister you never had. Her kindness radiates into everyone she comes into contact with, and her smile brightens a room.

“Pizza, chicken nuggets, or pasta?” You ask her. It’s 6:00 so you know if she wants time for TV, dinner needs to happen. 

“Mmmm can I have chicken nuggets?” she asks 

“Sure! And do you want carrots or cucumbers with it?” You ask, pulling the nuggets from the freezer for her and the pasta from the fridge for yourself. She sticks her tongue out. “Can I have broccoli instead? Dad buys the frozen bag ones, they’re in the freezer I think.” She says. “Of course!” 

You preheat the oven, and line a cookie sheet with foil. You line up 10 chicken nuggets and stick them in once the oven beeps. You throw the broccoli in the microwave. The scent of the 2 filling the house, making your stomach grumble. 

You put 5 nuggets on Sarahs tray to start, along with a scoop of broccoli and some strawberries. Your pasta beeps in the microwave and you pull it out, sitting down beside Sarah. Few words are exchanged during dinner, but its a comfortable silence. You’re both content with the humming of the refrigerator. 

Dinner finishes and 7:00 comes quick. You tell Sarah she can have TV until 7 but then its shower and reading. Sarah turns the TV on to Cartoon Network, and you put the 3 nuggets Sarah didnt eat into a bowl and stick it in the fridge, along with the remaining strawberries and broccoli.

Washing dishes is such a daunting task to most, but not to you. Its therapeutic, the warmth of the water and the mindfullness of the task. Each dish you wash, each plate you clean, feels like a small act of care—care for Joel’s home, care for yourself, and even care for those who will use the dishes next. As the last plate is washed and the sink is cleared, there’s a sense of quiet accomplishment.

Sarah finishes her show and heads straight for the shower, you wipe the counters down and check your phone. 

New Message From: Joel

Should be home by 9:30. Do you need anything from the store? 

You smile. Joel’s thoughtfulness is something you missed. The way he anticipates your needs, and is reassuring. 

No thanks, Im good. But I appreciate it. Drive careful. 

You hear the shower water turn off and grab Sarahs books and reading log from her backpack. You pull out a book about Egypt, and the first book in the Boxcar Children series. You smile, remembering reading the same book with your mom before everything went to shit. 

Sarahs PJs are on and shes in her room. Her nightstand light on, dimly lighting her pale pink room. You knock on the door before peaking your head in. “Hey kiddo, you alright in here?” you ask, sittingon the edge of her bed beside her legs. “Yeah, Im okay. Just really-” her sentence interrupted by the worlds biggest yawn. You laugh. “Tired.” she says, laughing with you. 

You look at the clock beside her lamp 

8:17

“Do you want me to put your books in your bag? I can have your dad fill out your reading log for you.” You say, standing up. 

“Yes please.” Sarah says, handing her books to you. She lays down and pulls her comforter up to just below her face. 

“Goodnight Sarah, see you tomorrow” you say quietly, turning her light off. 

“Goodnight. Thank you for always hanging out with me.  She says, turning over. 

You turn around, smiling. Closing her door gently behind you.

You log her reading and put her things back in her backpack, peaking at the time. 

8:46 

Not bad you think to yourself. You finish cleaning the kitchen, sweeping and wiping the stovetop. You then settle into the comfiest fucking couch ever, turning on One Tree Hill. You grab a blanket and it smells like Joel. You wrap yourself up in it, inhaling deeply. Your eyes slowly begin to drift. You fight until you cant and drift into a hazy slumber. 

“Hey darlin” 

“Im home, it’s time to wake up” 

You startle awake, throwing the blanket off and jumping up. 

“Woah woah. I ain’t mean to scare ya girl” Joel says, laughing. He walks away, holding a handful of groceries. 

“Hey. Sorry, you scared me.” You say, folding the blanket and throwing it back on the couch. 

“How’d it go?” Joel asks, putting groceries in the fridge. 

“Good! We did each others nails this afternoon and she really enjoyed that.” you say quietly. It’s not awkward being with Joel, but it doesn’t feel like it used to. 

“She ate 7 chicken nuggets, 2 helpings of broccoli, and some strawberries. She also read for probably 20ish-30 minutes. I filled out her log already, she was really tired.” You say, turning to grab your bags and put your shoes on. 

“Hey, thank you, again. For all that you do for Sarah.” He begins, “Her mom is around but she isn’t very consistent so I think it really helps to have another positive female figure in her life.” He finishes, smiling. 

“I told you, it’s really no problem. Im glat to help when I can.” You say lightly, walking to grab your keys off the entryway table and opening Joel’s from door. 

“Oh I almost forgot” Joel says, walking toward you. “I know you said you didn’t need nothin’ but I just wanted to get ya somethin’ to say thank you. He opens a grocery bag and pulls out a 4 pack of blueberry muffins. 

“Joel, you didn’t have to do that.” You say, taking them from his hand. 

“Oh don’t worry about it. You always are here for Sarah and I cant thank ya enough.” He says, smiling. 

“How’d you know blueberry was my favorite?” you ask, raising an eyebrow. 

“Lucky guess” he says, chuckling.

“Well, goodnight Joel. Thank you again for the muffins.” You say, opening the door. 

“Goodnight Yellow.” He says, smiling and waving as you pull the door behind you.

[cozylittleartblog]

idk if I've said it before, but your portrayals of both Rouxls and Queen are among my favorites, and the way they are when you combine the two is the sole thing that got me to say "yes" to queenkaard. When I first saw it in the game and it started catching on as a ship, I was like "nooo I hc him as gay," but then after seeing your stuff I was like "oh nvm I totally see this now."

i think hearing "i didn't see this ship before, but after your art i understand it and/or even ship it myself" is one of the nicest compliments i get, because it makes me feel like i'm representing something meaningful and sweet about a pairing and having people understand what i think is so great and captivating about them. i've gotten a couple asks like this and sometimes i forget to respond but i always really appreciate them :) thank you very much

[corinescorner]

I hope you do not mind me responding. I like to answer the topics one at a time, as it helps my ADHD.

Endogenic means that trauma didn't play a role in the system development or the alter forming. Endogenic can also refer to alters that OSDDID systems may have. Which, I know a few.

Now, this is a lot of fakeclaiming on your part, which does more harm to the system community than endos do. Endogenic systems may claim to of formed for a lot of different reasons: daydreaming, born that way, a role in the system that needs to be filled, religious and/or spirituality reasons. Many different reasons!

The only time I've seen an "endo" claim to have a CDD, is when the person has a CDD, but has an endogenic alter(s) (most commonly known as traumaendo, I believe.) Yes, you cannot have a CDD without childhood trauma, that is what a lot of pro-endos agree (and some disgree) on.

Does that misinfo disprove endogenic's existence? No, it doesn't. It just means we have to educate people.

they spread dangerous misinformation and stigma (demonising roles (persecutors for example)) impossible beliefs (alter death, sys hopping etc)There growing presence in general on many platforms

This...is not just an endogenic thing. Misinformation is not exclusive to endogenics. Many non-systems, and even CDD systems themselves, can be ableist towards certain alters, roles, beliefs, etc. And...alter death does not mean what you think it means. There's a lot of nuance with alter death (it could be a metaphor, for example.) I would recommend asking someone who has experienced alter death, as I am not as educated on it.

System hopping isn't just "my alter teleported into another system." I would recommend researching that as well. It could mean a variety of things, it's just up to how the system experiences it (like through subsystems.)

endos trying to say that they have any experience to anything close to the serious trauma that causes DID/ OSDD is so so harmful to actual DID/ OSDD have had to live through and survive.

Being a system isn't the only symptom that DID and OSDD have. And it's the only thing that many endogenics claim to have in common with the disorder.

In my opinion, as someone with a CDD, endogenics do no harm to the community compared to fakeclaimers (ones who dismiss someone's experiences, which is just...harmful,) ableism, portrayals in media, and biases people have.

If you could, could you send a source about your claims? That endogenic plurality cannot exist? I am not talking about DID or OSDD sources.

Thanks! I have very low spoons today but I thought to respond anyway. Not proofread in the slightest.

what actually are endogenic systems?

• Endogenic is an umbrella term that refers to all systems that are not completely traumagenic in origin.

Why are some people claiming to be endo?

• people claiming to be endogenic systems may:

• be misdiagnosed, they may not have DID/OSDD and may have a different disorder.

• may not have researched. Which is not a excuse. You cannot claim to have any disorder without any level of research.

• they may be a traumatic system in denial of there trauma.

• singlets with fractitious disorders [Factitious disorders are conditions in which a person deliberately and consciously acts as if they have a physical or mental illness when they are not really sick.]

•singlets misidentifying normal experiences

• singlets who enjoy "being a system" finding it fun etc

Why can't endos exist?

• as previously stated. DID/OSDD is a TRAUMA RESPONSE DISORDER. you cannot have it without trauma literally.

• OSDD/DID occurs because of childhood trauma between the ages 4-9 (commonly). Because extreme trauma happens when the majority of your "personality" is formed by then. the trauma interferes with your personality development, causing the formation of other alters to help cope with that trauma / deal with the brunt of the trauma and survive day to day life.

• OCDD/DIDs can only be formed through trauma.

Why are endos so harmful?

• they spread very harmful misinformation. (Even the idea of being endogenic, forming without trauma)

they spread dangerous misinformation and stigma (demonising roles (persecutors for example)) impossible beliefs (alter death, sys hopping etc)There growing presence in general on many platforms

• endos trying to say that they have any experience to anything close to the serious trauma that causes DID/ OSDD is so so harmful to actual DID/ OSDD have had to live through and survive.

• WE ARE ALREADY STIGMATISED AND DEMONSIED IN ALL SORTS OF MEDIA AS IS.

• IT IS SO HARMFUL AND HURTFUL TO SYSTEMS WHO HAVE ACTUALLY SURVIVED AND BEEN THROUGH THE HORRORS AND TRAUMA THAT CAUSES DID/OSDD - OUR TRAUMAS ARE NOT BADGES FOR YOU TO WEAR.

- blurred asf

[r0semultiverse]

[ganondoodle]

okay, bc i have seen this argument alot now (and it also seems to be the view point of aonuma himself..) is that "zelda cant do everything link does bc whats the point then"

and i take personal offense on that bc its a stupid argument (in. my. very. personal. opinion.- not judging people for liking it. its a ME thing)

whats the point? its that its her. its still a different character, different in story, background, personality, but i WANT to play zelda and she can do everything link does, why does she have to be so restricted and be bend over backwards to find some new way to make her 'useful' when link gets to do basically everything no questions asked (the only thing thats hers is like .. sealing power and sacrificial maiden, which i find a little underwhelming to say the least), if theres no point to it why are there always modders that model swap link with someone else, and in that case it has even less impact bc its an artificial model swap with no changes to the story (which can and should still be different when its the vanilla game with a different protagonist... its still a different character), clearly theres joy in just the model being a different one- and that isnt even to mention the story possibilities, since, again, its stil a different character

if we ever (never ... i know who we are talking about here) get to play as ganondorf i want to him to be just as versatile and active as link is, if we got a point and click adventure game for him instead bc 'whats the point' id be disappointed too- you can find any sort of excuse/explanation for zelda to be singled out but the fact remains it tracks with how female characters are often treated, and that hits a very sore spot for me

i guess i am unfortunately one of those annoying people that want to see female characters be treated exactly the same as male characters, possibly bc i am myself afab but identify as agender and have a deeply personal dislike for anything 'traditional' feminine bc i cannot and never will be able to truly live as myself in real life, it influences all of my work, my work is as just as much as my opinion on this, very personal

and in line with my point about modding, i see theres joy in just beign able to play as her even if its like this, i get that, i also get it for the creative aspect (though that mechanic worries me even more for the future bc it really seems to be the path now that -freedom = good, linear anything = bad-) it is a different idea and its not like i cant see that value- im not trying be "right" either, just bc i have that opinion doesnt mean i need everyone to agree, its a very personal thing, if you like it good for you! not for me though, and i think both of that is equally valid

i just personally wish she was allowed to be just like link, fight just like him but be different bc its still her and not him in the end- to be physically/playstyle like jsut like him, but you know ... as her, i dont think shed stop being zelda if she could wield a sword just like him

i dont really know how to get my point/feelings across, i dont want to step too much into personal stuff nor spam people with something that ultimately doesnt interest me alot, im just saddened by it really

(EDIT: bc i forgot to add this on here again; this isnt as much of a problem as it might sound like here, just the main topic i wanted to talk about; why im so uninterested in it is MAINLY bc i dont trust them to write anything interesting/care about lore anymore after totk, im always on the more pessimistic side that thinks its most likely worse than id hope and i know even the past games arent perfect or super interestingly written, but now its much more just a general distrust, together with everything like the price ... im just much less hopeful and cant get excited until i see more of it, like im waiting for the game to get out and reveal that its just as much of a mess and money i regret spending- kind of fear)

[crescentfool]

I noticed you're a Ryomina!!! How did you get into it? And do you have any good fanfics/doujinshi you can advice me to read? ANYTHING on Ryomina actually? I'm dying for anything about them!!! Thanks!!

yes!!! it's me!!! i'm ryomina fan (one of many)!!! thank you for visiting my askbox, i'll do my best to answer all of the questions because it always makes me happy to see that ryomina sparks joy for people! :D

...this got really long because i like linking to things, so i'm putting it under a read more (IM VERY NORMAL ABOUT THEM)

how did i get into it? i got into persona 3 around august 2021 through the movies- at the time my only experience with the persona series was with P5R / P5S / P5D. p3 was the one that interested me the most (i thought minato was very pretty + i caught wind that the themes of the game were very resonant with people). i picked the movies over the game because i'm a guy who plays games at a snails pace, haha.

admittedly, i did latch onto ryomina because of the scenes in the third and fourth movie (i have mentioned in the tags of this art i drew how much i felt like i was exploding and blasting off to the moon watching it).

but what really dug me into the ryomina hole (and what has kept me there) was thinking about how much ryoji encapsulates the themes of p3- and how interconnected his fate is with minato. i wrote some musings about their dynamic here, if you're interested!

tl;dr: what if we were both boys and we were mirror images of each other and i inherited your kindness and looks but god doomed our narrative even though we're soulmates

on ryomina fanworks recommendations:

regarding fics: i'm going to assume that you've probably read the fics that have the highest kudo ratings on them, so i won't really be listing those.

a personal favorite fic that i always hold close to my heart is Eurydice's Vow by crescentmoontea, which explores the idea of ryomina in p5r's third semester. this was the first fic i read about ryomina and it made me tear up lots...

i also think a lot about I Alone Await You by Nail_gun, literally scrumptious writing that captures the ryomina dynamic so so well. actually check out Nail_gun's other ryomina fics while you're at it too!

other fun fic i'm fond of: can't get my mind out of those memories (what were they?) by foxmulder_whereartthou. ryoji being homeless lives rent free in my head and it's all because of this fic. there's a bunch of other fun ryominas from the same author too (i still need to read them)

BkZa555 also has some fun AU scenarios if you're into that too, notably with Zagreus (P5-Setting, Ryoji focus) and The Definition of Insanity (TIME LOOP fuckery!), but they're currently ongoing.

these were some ones that came to my mind first- as i have the strongest recollection reading them. admittedly i haven't really been reading fic this year, so i don't have many recommendations from fic that came out this year. but if you're so inclined to let ryomina consume your soul, i definitely recommend giving the newer works in the ryomina tag a look-see and see if it strikes your fancy!

as a side note, i do have a few ryomina fics that i've bookmarked on my ao3 here, though i have to say that i'm not sure how well they hold up in terms of like... what i would seek out of a fic these days. but they made past me happy so i bookmarked them, LOL. it's kind of outdated (my collection of fic recs has my old username *disintegrates*).

regarding doujinshi: i have not read all the ryomina doujinshi available, but as a starting point, please take a look at this list from pandora-scans from livejournal!

notably, this is where you can find the strawberry-chan say good bye doujin- which features a small and cute comic from shuji sogabe (the p3/p4 manga artist), as well as other artists. the existence of this doujinshi is the funniest thing to me because it's like "HEY if you're wondering what the volume 8 cover is really gay it's because sogabe contributed to a ryomina doujin." this fact makes my head spin (positive). it explains a lot about the manga.

regarding persona side material:

i know you didn't ask for these but i thought that i mine as well list these too, since i feel that the side materials have some fun expansions on ryoji and minato's interactions. i haven't... watched/read all of these but, hey, i like to share these things!

for comic anthologies for the persona series (some of which have ryoji!). if you're interested in reading them, here's a scanlation index from maboroshi-no on tumblr. i don't think this is a comprehensive list, but i think it will be a great starting point!

for some translations of the persona 3 drama cds, check out imaginary-numbers on dreamwidth! ryoji and minato interactions can specifically be found in the persona 3 character drama cd vol. 1, and for the audio + english subs, you can watch this video on youtube:

and ohh the musical. ryoji singing and dancing gives me so much joy. i haven't watched the musical in it's entirety (only fragments), but here are some links that may be of interest to you:

Ao no Kakusei (The Blue Awakening), Sakuya version - playlist for the first p3 musical, translated by Phoenix Maiika.

Ao no Kakusei (The Blue Awakening), Kotone version - playlist for the femc version!! also translated by Phoenix Maiika on YouTube.

Persona 3: The Weird Masquerade (English Subtitles) - playlist by rumio!

P3 Weird Musical DVD & Soundtrack Booklet Scans by rumio_k - twitter thread that links to these funsies, if you don't have twitter, here's the publicly shared drive link.

god. these sure are a lot of links, huh? i hope you enjoy them- pick and choose whatever sounds most appealing! (if this overwhelmed you im sorry GKLHLDH i just like being very comprehensive in my answers about things so i got carried away).

and as a reminder, you (and anyone else reading) are always welcome to browse my tags/archive and reblog things from there anytime! i have... nearly 300 ryomina posts which, while mostly consists of art, has a few fics, meta, hcs, gifs, memes, and whatnot scattered about.

or browse the minato and ryoji tags too! there's.. nearly 1k minato. and 500 ish ryoji. and they're going to keep on growing because i can't stop being obsessed with archiving these things. god help me i am so deep in this hole called ryomina hell and now you're here too. welcome aboard!

there's always going to be a lot of fun ways to enjoy rotating ryomina around in one's brain, i think- they're a pairing with such fun symbolic imagery that is So Deep (to me) but ALSO they're immensely hilarious and weird guys (affectionate). so i love to share these things in hopes that it gives you joy too! they are the most couple ever (to me) (i'm biased)

thank you again for the ask! i hope it can satiate your need for more ryomina, and be a nice aide in exploring the p3 fanspace :)

[puppppppppy]

MAN your art, but especially the latest pieces of Walking Fire Friend and Sparkle Dog really have the vibes of like, sanrio?? I want stickers and half a dozen accessories with them plastered all over so bad

!!! thank u for the kind words!! im playing around with the halftone effect, i like how it makes it look like a newspaper comic ^_^

[leviiackrman]

Okay yall, pls enjoy Chika’s full story now up on her page: read here

tag list (ask to be added or removed): @risingsh0t @bbrocklesnar @carrionsflower @statichvm @roofgeese @unholymilf @florbelles @arklay @captmactavish @shellibisshe @simonxriley @queennymeria @marivenah @nokstella @vvardenfae @thedeadthree @jacobseed @jackiesarch @heroofpenamstan @dameayliins @carlosoliveiraa @shadowglens @fenharel @alexxmason @malefiicarum @nightbloodbix

[laesas]

did you ever make a post about pete not liking tankhun ? i know you mentioned it a few times in your tags but i don't remember seeing a post. (i share your opin ions.)

I definitely toyed with the idea of meta or a gifset but I didn't ever make a full post! I love unrequited love and I ESPECIALLY love the extremely rare platonic version which Tankhun and Pete absolutely nail in my opinion!

There are loads of moments where Pete's smile drops around Tankhun very quickly, or he insults Tankhun behind his back. Instead of laughing things off like Arm and Pol, he almost has a wincing fear-response to Tankhun, which we don't really see at all from the other bodyguards.

I think that Tankhun likes to think of himself as being close friends with his bodyguards, and he does genuinely show a lot of open affection for Pete and eventually concern for his safety. But I think ultimately for Pete, Tankhun is just a part of Pete's job, and over time resentment has built up until he thinks of Tankhun as one of the *worst* parts of it. I definitely don't think he resents Tankhun enough to hurt or endanger him, but that's about as far as it goes, there's certainly very little love there.

Something about that dynamic is just particularly brilliant, especially when combined with Pete's eventual defection from Tankhun's side to Vegas'. He chooses a man who has beaten and tortured him over a man who showers him in affection and throws parties on his return.

I utterly adore Tankhun but I think as a character that's grown up in a gilded cage, he doesn't really understand that what Pete needs is a sense of his own autonomy rather than being dragged to "fun" "lets cheer up Pete" parties that Tankhun has demanded on his behalf. At least with Vegas he *chose* to go back, he handed Vegas the ropes, let him lock him back up again. Even before he develops feelings for Vegas, Pete has clearly felt like a subhuman pet for Tankhun and the main family for a long, long time and I think ironically Vegas acknowledging Pete's humanity is the tipping point for him.

I think even without their nascent romantic love as a factor, Pete would always choose Vegas. Because despite the threat of suffering, he offers a sense of freedom that Tankhun's gilded cage does not. It all makes for an incredibly interesting betrayal, and makes Pete choosing Vegas over Tankhun all the more pointed. By choosing to be Vegas' pet, he chooses to be human.

[piningpercussionist]

(ooc)

Fellas. What if I just. Replied to shit completely out of order? How would we feel abt that?

(I'm still having blockage of the writer's variety... but I want to try to respond to things. So badly. But also my inherent desire to be as chronological as possible...... sgchdhhdjcshdj)

[teecupangel]

Hey there!

I don't know if you take requests for character analyses (if you don't just ignore this), but I would really like to see your take on Desmond Miles since, for some reason, I can't really seem to wrap my head around him, which has resulted in me finding him almost boring, and I would like to remedy that.

I'm particularly interested in what you believe to be to be his biggest flaws and where they come from, since that's what usually compels me the most about a character, and also what I have trouble with finding in Desmond.

I’m fine with any analysis requests that get sent my way :)

Although, I do wonder if I’m the right person to analyze Desmond since character analysis is meant to be as nonbias as possible but I’m me and y’all know how much I love Desmond at this point. XD

I will do my best though but it is my duty to remind you that this analysis is written by someone who loves Desmond so, yeah, some of that love will bleed thru in this analysis.

Also, as this would get pretty long if I do a complete character analysis, I’ll focus on what compelled me to Desmond which, I believe, is connected to your question about what his flaws are and where they come from.

What compelled me to Desmond:

Nolan North’s Voice

He’s voiced by Nolan North and I’ve been in love with Nolan North’s voice since I played Spec Ops the Line. Haha, no, that’s half a joke and my obligatory “Nolan North fangirling” out of the way. Also, no joke, Nolan North was able to give Desmond a compelling voice that helped mold his character in my eyes and ears. I never once heard Desmond speak and thought "oh, that's Nathan Drake" which is funny since Nolan North uses similar voices for the two of them. With what he's given, Nolan North was able to make Desmond unique from his other characters, making him a charming and adorable dumbass with more depth than he usually shows.

Endless Potential

This was what compelled me to him because his part in the series felt like it was building for something more. If we were to believe what Nolan North said in this video (around the 33~34 minute mark), Desmond was meant to have a bigger part in the story. The ultimate Assassin with the ability to time travel, most probably to help change the past and tragedy of his ancestors and to usher in a brighter future for the Brotherhood and mankind. The one who will finally end the endless war between the Assassins and the Templars.

But then Ubisoft screwed that up and wasted Desmond’s potential.

But from their actions were born endless potential. For as long as there are fans who create new stories with Desmond in them, Desmond lives up to that endless potential. By destroying Desmond’s potential, Ubisoft unintentionally created a character with endless potential given to him by those who create stories where he is resurrected or never died in the first place.

And that endless potential is what brings new ideas and scenarios for our dear poor Desmond to get involved with. XD

Desmond and His Ancestors

Kenway-Patented Daddy Issues

So let’s start with Ratonhnhaké:ton because there are some people who say that Desmond and Ratonhnhaké:ton are quite similar to one another but, let’s be honest, most of those comparisons stem from their similar ‘tense’ relationship with their father. Desmond and Ratonhnhaké:ton mirror each other because of that relationship and they showed two contrasting ‘endings’:

Ratonhnhaké:ton had wanted to build a bridge between himself and his father but ended up killing Haytham because of their differences and their stubbornness to yield to the other’s wishes and demands.

On the other hand, Desmond let go of whatever animosity he felt for his father and made up with him in the end even though there have been hints of how deeply Bill mistreated his son (either thru neglect or actual abuse is up to interpretation) that should have been given more time to talk about than... two-ish voice messages.

This is more my opinion but Desmond forgiving his father and trying to make amends is because he wished to grant Ratonhnhaké:ton’s wish in some form. Perhaps even his Bleed of Ratonhnhaké:ton is the reason why he felt the desire to make amends because he’s seeing a lot of Haytham Kenway in Bill. In his Bleed-’corrupted’ mind, this could be counted as Ratonhnhaké:ton getting his wish.

The Legend Everyone Wants Him To Become

Lucy said it herself, they’re using the Bleeding Effect to jumpstart and cheat their way into making Desmond an Assassin. But is that really their end goal? Sure, Lucy had the ulterior motive of the Templars wanting to get the POE that had been under Ezio’s care but the Assassins themselves want Desmond to become an Assassin as quickly as possible.

We can even make an argument that they want Desmond to not be an Assassin like Ezio Auditore but to be Ezio Auditore.

Because Ezio Auditore was seen as a success story by the Assassins. They didn’t know how he had almost been so close to giving up the Creed during his later years, they didn’t know how he left the Brotherhood because he had enough…

They remember Ezio Auditore as this great man, this legend.

And the Bleeding Effect gave them the tool to try and recreate this legend in Desmond Miles.

Also, the way Lucy, Shaun, and Rebecca supported Desmond is similar to how Mario and the members of the Italian Brotherhood in AC2 supported Ezio.

In some ways, they were using Desmond/Ezio to get what they want. Desmond and Ezio are the ones risking their lives the most (either in the field where anything and everyone can kill him with Ezio or in a high-tech device that could destroy his mind with Desmond) while their allies kept information from them “until the time is right” (mostly Bill and, by extension, Lucy) and supported them from the shadows instead.

The Distorted Mirror

For me, Desmond is actually more of Altaïr’s foil and a distorted mirror image of Altaïr because:

Both of their mothers are quite the blank slate with Maud only known as a Christian member of the Levantine Brotherhood but never confirmed to be an actual Assassin while Desmond’s mother has never been officially called an Assassin, only a member of the Brotherhood like Maud.

Both were born and raised in Assassin ‘strongholds’, isolated from the rest of the world. How similar their upbringing was is open for interpretation but, considering how Desmond never talked about any specific children from the Farm and didn’t talk about his life as a bartender or any of his coworkers and the only person that treats Altaïr like an old friend was an informant in Damascus (if we do not count Rauf who looks like he’s friendly with everyone and Kadar who is more on the side of hero-worship for Altaïr than being a friend of equal grounds), we can safely assume they were both lonely (especially after Abbas and Altaïr’s friendship went to hell).

Both of them were trained to be Assassins at an early age but where Altaïr thrived and became one of the best Assassins in the Levantine Brotherhood (and, later on, in history), Desmond saw himself as a failure.

Speaking of which, they both have father figures who trained them to be Assassins but where Al Mualim succeeded in creating a valuable weapon, Bill failed.

Both of them, at some point in their lives, thought about running away. Altaïr had been ready to leave Levant with Adha but stayed instead after her death. Desmond, on the other hand, actually ran away and created a new life out of the reach of the Brotherhood.

Altaïr is known for saying “How can I regret the only life I have ever known?” which echoes Desmond’s regrets of running away from his Assassin lineage.

Desmond had talked about how he wished people had told him things, had explained things to him, and given him information that would have made him understand that the Assassins and Templars were real. He even tells Shaun that he would have loved to have been a know-it-all in the Desmond_01.WAV in AC Valhalla. Altaïr is known to hoard knowledge (his library) and is a scholar as well. They both desired knowledge but where Altaïr sought and hoarded it, Desmond simply… wished for it.

There are other comparisons of how similar they are but distorted in some way to make them unique from one another (like how their canon love interest (sorta in Desmond’s case) died because of them in some form or another) but those are some of the major ones in my opinion.

So, you might be wondering, why did I focus so much on Desmond’s ancestors when this is meant to be a character analysis of Desmond himself?

Because that is one of his flaws.

Desmond has and will always be compared to his ancestors, both in universe and in meta. One can only imagine how Desmond felt about being compared to his ancestors.

Well...

We can actually guess how he felt about that because...

Another one of his flaws is how he saw himself as a failure and his feeling of being never enough, of being a failure stems from, you guessed it, William Fucking Miles:

I—I had failed you, and you KNEW it. But you said nothing. I stayed mad. For weeks. I thought you were...you were patronizing me. I thought maybe you decided right there that I was never going to be the man you wanted me to be... (Noob’s Personal Files: "Subject Zero" - audio file 3)

The rest of the audio file talked about how Desmond had misunderstood Bill’s actions but what kind of upbringing would he have to have had that his first thought when he was praised was that it was a lie? Instead of immediately believing the praises given to him by his own father, he assumed that he had failed and his father had given up on him?

Desmond couldn’t even see his own accomplishment:

Desmond: I wanted out. I wanted my own life. To live my own way. Sixteen years old. And where was I going? No idea. Just away. That's it. That was the plan. Not much of one. They never guessed what I was doing, because I didn't know what I was doing. I just walked right out. Someone realized I was gone. They shouted. I started running.

William: Desmond! Desmond!

Desmond: I just ran and ran and ran. All that training was finally worth something. God, it was so dark when I left. And the forest... endless. I didn't dare take the roads.

Mother: Desmond, where are you?

Desmond: Mother, calling out. Begging me to stay. But I wouldn't. I followed the hills down. Down until I hit a stream. I followed that to a river, and from the river to an old access road. I walked for hours that day, the summer sun keeping me warm well into the evening. Found a clearing after dark. Fell asleep beneath the stars. Never had a quieter night. Not before or since. Walking, too scared to hitch a ride. What the hell was I doing? Lost in the badlands for a day. Felt like a week. Endless ocean of wrinkled earth. Can't believe a place could look so dead. (AC Revelations Escape)

A secured location run and protected by adult Assassins couldn’t catch a 16 year old kid? Even if it’s just his parents who went after him, two adults with more experience couldn’t catch him? This only shows that Desmond had the skills. A sixteen years old who had NEVER left the Farm further than what his training and his parents had allowed was able to evade those who were training him his entire life.

Yet, he still thought that he had been a failure. That memory of Bill praising him for doing a good job and him believing that Bill had given up on him stayed with him and made him believe he was a failure for a very long time.

And this was a man who stayed out of the whole Assassin and Templar business for nine years until he grew complacent and tried to treat himself with a motorcycle license (which might show how bored he was with his life as a bartender and wanted some excitement in his life… like a really fast vehicle)

Bill described Desmond as:

This... boy had no ambition. No direction. No plans for the future. What he DID have was a heritage. One he chose to deny. (AC3 Intro)

But then you get to Desmond’s audio files in AC Valhalla where he talked to Shaun about what the Creed means and he says this:

Anyway, my dad has mellowed over the years. But he was strict when we lived on the Farm. He ran a tight ship. I never got the impression that I was free to choose my path forward. Our creed, our tenets, they were drilled into my head. By the time I was a teenager, I was following these rules out of a sense of duty. This was... just what we did. (Layla Hassan’s Personal Files Desmond_01.WAV)

Just like Altaïr, the life of an Assassin was the only life Desmond had and he felt like he never had a choice. He was envious of Shaun who decided to become an Assassin out of his own free will.

But running away?

Denying his lineage?

That was the very first ‘choice’ he ever made for himself.

And this brings us to what Desmond desired most of all:

His “I wanted my own life.” in AC Revelation’s Escape is another excuse he tells himself. Because what he truly wanted was:

A Place to Belong.

After nine years of being away, my old bitterness was back. I was tired again. I didn't want to admit that moving forward might mean taking a step back. But the shine of the city had faded. The freedom I felt was hollow without old friends, without family. (AC Revelations Regret)

But then Desmond started saying these lines:

And suddenly, I wanted it all back. All that training, all that time. But I couldn't. Those days. They were gone. (AC Revelations Regret)

Not until you guys found me. Yeah. It wasn't until I met you and Becs and Lucy that I knew... I knew I wanted to be an Assassin. (Layla Hassan’s Personal Files Desmond_01.WAV)

I know my easiest days are behind me. But I don't want them back. Not now. My name is Desmond Miles... and I am an Assassin. I AM an Assassin. (AC Revelations Regret)

But then compare that to how Desmond was in AC1:

Lucy: Why'd you run away?

Desmond: I could never leave the compound. You have any idea what it's like being trapped in a place, knowing there is a whole world out there I'd never get to see?

Lucy: Don't you miss your parents?

Desmond: No. Far as I'm concerned, they weren't my parents. They were my wardens and I was their prisoner.

Lucy: It sounds like they only wanted to protect you.

Desmond: With all that's happened... I don't know. I guess they were right. (AC1, after the first memory block)

What changed?

Is it because Desmond knew what it was like to be part of a team? Of what it’s like to be an Assassin?

Yes but it’s a little bit more complicated than that.

Desmond felt like he belonged with the Assassins but he made one big mistake: he thought he meant the Assassins as they were are right now.

But what he truly desired, the place that he believed he could belong was the Brotherhood of olds.

The Levantine Brotherhood under Altaïr as the mentor.

The Italian Brotherhood under Ezio as the mentor.

Those were the 'memories' he had of what it meant to be part of a Brotherhood.

Then he started reliving Ratonhnhaké:ton’s life (one who did not have a Brotherhood, instead a village that left him behind and an old man too jaded to truly guide him without letting his past and guilt drive a wedge between them) and those messages he left for Bill? The acceptance? The forgiveness?

They were created after experiencing the pain and loneliness that Ratonhnhaké:ton went thru. It was created after he felt the sorrow of having a father that will never accept him for who he was.

They were left by a man who felt the regrets of someone close to him, could feel himself be him at times, and wished for another ending.

A… happier one.

Desmond’s line of

My name is Desmond Miles... and I am an Assassin. I AM an Assassin.

Becomes bittersweet because, yes, he had accepted who he was meant to be from the start but, thanks to the Bleeding Effect, we never got to know if the kind of Assassin he was ever meant to be was one that was truly Desmond Miles or…

Someone trying to live up to the memories of his ancestors.