#I have no idea when that shampoo was invented

[blue-rose-soul]

Lilin!Alastor: *Only speaking to Vox as much as necessary just in case he is unintentionally influencing his obsession. Otherwise giving him the silent treatment.*

Vox: *Actually just a whole ass stalker* Stop Ignoring Me!

And the whole while Alastor's got this smug expression like:

What, you thought he was going to mope about it? No, this petty little bastard's going to take his fun where he can in this shitty situation.

[geraldmariaivo]

This concept hasn’t left me alone since I saw that “Danny is a chemistry wizard who teaches a chem class, but in a very Fenton way” post, and i need to yell it out into the void.

Danny gets adopted by the batfam, but he’s like that with chemistry and mechanics and it gives them all a stroke. Especially Bruce. Doubly so if Danny is his bio kid or clone or something. 

Danny has an allowance and he buys the most concentrated shit on the market with it because he got bored and wanted to see if he could re-create the fear toxin antidote he saw in the cave, especially since they seem pretty low on it. Do they have to get it from somewhere else? Danny knows the Waynes are rich, but there has to be a better way to do it than buying it for an arm and a leg. Maybe he’ll mess around and do the one for joker venom later. 

Lab safety? Oh, yeah Dick, I’ve got my goggles and gloves and jumpsuit on. Of course I have the hood up. Turn on the vent? What vent? Why would I need a vent? Labels? Dude, look at it, it’s cetrimonium chloride. Oh, yeah, that’s the shampoo i got it from. You’d be surprised how many things you can isolate from household stuff. 

Why would I use machines to measure this? Isn’t that for when you’re already busy doing something else? Yeah, like the centrifuge running over there. *gestures vaguely off to the left, to some abomination of mechanics* Whatddya mean that’s a safety hazard? It’ll stay together just fine; I made sure to use a new bike chain.

Where’s the rest of the blueprints? What do you mean “that’s it”? Aren’t there revisions and ideas? Where’s the reminders? Why’s there only one machine???

meanwhile the bats are wondering how the fuck the Fentons get literally anything done with lab safety apparently being a suggestion at best, and their storage system apparently being categorized by nine layers of nonsense and how violent the invention has the potential to be, if Danny’s ramblings are anything to go by. And Bruce “I need plans and contingencies for everything” Wayne is absolutely trying to not have an aneurysm from how much Danny just Does Things with no warning and no way that should feasibly work. 

[the-kr8tor]

Hi, I wanted to ask for a fluff fanfic about having like a hair care day with Hobie and we have to take out he’s wicks (I hope that’s ok with you) 

Hi, angel! Thank you for requesting and all the love on my works! I did some research on how to take care of wicks so I could write this properly and accurately, I hope I wrote it okay! Ly 😘

Pairing: Hobie Brown x gn! Reader/ Spider-Punk x gn! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, FLUFF.

A/N: don't waste water, kids 😆

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

“So I said to her ‘you're being unfair to Anton’ and you know what she said to me?” you peak over to look at Hobie, his eyes are closed, face relaxed as you wash his hair.

You sit on a little stool placed in the middle of the tub, your hand on the shower head, the other is massaging his scalp. Your entire bottom half is drenched with lukewarm water, feet soaked and slicked with shampoo.

His head rests on the edge of the tub, propped up with a soft fluffy towel for comfort. Hobie sits on a similar stool, body away from the cold tiles. After numerous tries in finding the best and most efficient position, practically turning yourself into an acrobat with how you were folding your body into different positions to wash Hobie’s hair; you've finally cracked the code, albeit it looked funny at first. He even suggested washing his hair in the sink, which you turned down. You're not letting him bend over a sink and eventually hurt his back. Just the idea of washing his hair on the dirty sink (which was counterproductive) made you invent this ridiculous position.

Getting your clothes wet was well worth it though as you watch him slowly crack his eye open accompanied with a soft smile.

“What’d she say?” He whispers, clearly hiding his sleepiness, induced by your massaging and gentle washing. You could barely hear it from the rush of water from the shower head.

“She said ‘get off my back’ a bit rude, huh?” you wipe a stray water droplet away from his eyelid.

“Mm-hmm” he hums, absolutely relaxed to the bone.

“I'm all done, Hobie— aaand you're asleep” you take notice of his soft snores. You sigh, admiring his sleeping face.

On a regular day you would've let him sleep, but this is the only time you could maintain and re-style his wicks. In between spider responsibilities and yours, this was a long awaited hair care day, scheduled weeks ago to accommodate your busy schedules.

You wake him up with a soft pat of his cheek. Hobie sleeps soundly, you're already feeling guilty for even trying to wake him up. Face upside down, you kiss his forehead. When that still doesn't work, you surrender, he deserves to rest. You can always continue the routine when he wakes up.

Taking the nearby towel, you gently pat the sides of his face dry first. Then there's a silent realization, how in the world are you getting him to bed? You're definitely not gonna let him sleep in the bathroom, no matter how cozy he looks.

“Babe?” You whisper into his ear. “Hobie, you gotta wake up so you can sleep properly in the bedroom”

“Huh?” Miraculously, he opens his eyes, his mind still asleep. “What?”

“You fell asleep while I was washing your hair. Guess I did too good, huh?”

“Hmm, you did, love” he yawns, “‘m awake now, please continue”

“You were out cold, I can always finish it after you've rest”

Hobie sits up, stretching his arms above his head, he turns around the stool to face you. Water drips onto the towel wrapped around his shoulders.

“I'm awake, see?” you're not entirely convinced with how his eyes slowly droop.

“I don't think so” you chuckle.

He rolls his eyes, you can see that he got an idea with how his lips curl into a mischievous smile. Before you could ask, he shakes his head rapidly. Water sprays all over your face from his still wet hair, you try to shield yourself with your arms, but it's too late, he's already finished with his attack.

Hobie laughs loudly, it bounces off the walls, emphasizing his happiness. Meanwhile, you look at him like you ran through a car wash. You're sopping wet, glaring at him all the while.

“I hand you my heart and you've betrayed me” you say dramatically.

“Sorry,” he chuckles all throughout the word. “Now we're both awake” Hobie pokes your wet cheeks.

Two can play at that game. You fling the shower head towards his face, water sprays him as he yells out a ‘is that how it is?!’ he splutters out, wet from head to toe. Hobie’s too quick though, he wrestles the shower head from your hand, you screech, smiling and giggling. Water drenches you two, the entire bathroom wet from your play fight.

He's mindful of his own strength, careful not to let you slip and fall off the stool. Hobie cradles your back with one arm, one leg up inside the tub and a knee on the edge to stabilize himself. With one quick movement of his leg, he shuts the water off with his foot.

You gasp out at his ingenious plan, hand over his bare chest. Hobie uses your reaction to smooch you with a wet kiss. You finally let him win, smiling throughout the kiss.

Will you ever finish the routine though? Maybe in a few hours after he's done attacking your face.

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

I'm in love with the idea that Adam loves animals.

Adam and Angel are just sitting on the couch in the lobby, and Angel starts asking him about Eden and Lucifer is eavesdropping.

"You mean besides having to do shit all? Eden was great , cozy, and always smelled nice." Adam said as he pictured the garden in his mind. He could never forget it.

"You named all the animals right? Did you have a favorite?"

Adam thought about it, that was kind of a loaded question, he loved all the animals in the garden. "Shit, I don't know man. They were all pretty fucking great. Though if I had to pick....." One did come to mind and he flushed. "Nah, nevermind."

Angel sat up more and even Lucifer was intrigued. He didn't even know the answer to this. "Oh come on, now you gotta tell me. I'll be your best friend!"

"You are my best friend."

"I'll be bester?"

Adam sighed. "Fine, but you gotta promise not to fucking laugh."

"I swear!" Angel beamed.

"The little yellow pond ducks. They were one of the first in the garden and so damn cute. Then they had babies! They were so small and fluffy. I remember they all came over to me and claimed all over me. It tickled." Adam smiled fondly at the memory, that had been a wonderful day.

Lucifer remembered that day, that was also the day he fell in love with two things. Adam and ducks. Adam had been so happy and was so carefree, it looked like he belonged there in that moment.

"I remember when Luci-" Adam clamped his mouth shut.

Angel raised an eyebrow. "What happened?"

Okay, now it got embarrassing. "Lucifer came over and we started playing with the ducks together. He scooped one up and placed it on my head. The little fucker took a shit."

Angel howled with laughter holding his stomach. "Oh my fucking god, you had duck shit in your hair!?"

Adam scowled and playfully rolled his eyes. "Yeah, try washing your fucking hair before shampoo was invented asshole. Not fun. Lucifer actually had to help get it all out."

Lucifer cringed at the memory. Yes he had to get that out of Adams hair, not a fun time.

"Do you still like yellow ducks?" Angel asked.

"I do. They had them up in heaven and I fed them by the center fountain. There are no yellow ducks in Hell." Adam said, his voice taking on a sad edge. You never realize how much the little things mean until they're gone. "I'm gonna hit it. See you tomorrow?"

"Night man." Angel and Adam fist bumped and Adam walked out of the room down the hall to his.

Adam sat down on his bed and almost missed the little box in his night stand. He opened it with caution but was stunned when he saw what was inside.

A little rubber yellow duck that looked like him, hair, horns and all.

He smiled at the little duck and placed it beside his alarm clock. "Thanks Luci."

Outside his door, Lucifer listened and walked away knowing his gift made his sinner happy. "You're welcome, my Adam."

[crabonfire]

Stupid and dumb tf2 headcannons cause I somebody do these on tiktok and they rile me up

Pyro regularly goes to strip clubs and he would fucking clap at the strippers like "😊👏👏" because he's a weirdo and I love it, demoman and Soldier would go too, both wanting to have a good time but soldier would probably be more impressed at how flexible they can be instead of everything else

They have movie nights where they vote and scout chooses action every single time while most mercs would want something else, they accuse him of being scared because he never ever chooses horror and he's like "pfft, no! Horror is just...lame to me." And engie snorts and was like "Yeah okay buddy." So they watched horror that night to prove it to him and surprisingly he was composed during it, but he didn't sleep that night, or the coming nights until he finally convinced himself it was just a movie and nobody was living in his closets.

Spy is a little too into weapons. One time when they all got a crate of weapons they had all been wanting when it came to his crate bro was practically SAVORING the knives and guns he was holding, he was sputtering French compliments while he was CARESSING those weapons. Everybody was so weirded out Sniper had to tell him to cut it out. He simply said that he was "impressed" by the refined beauty of said weapons. (if he starts moaning over those guns don't be surprised)

They also have game nights, it was scouts idea. Usually only Pyro, Engineer, Demoman, Soldier would join, while others would be spectating. They always go the same way, the game starts out simple, Engineer starts arguing with Soldier because he's not playing right, they start fighting and it turns into a bet to see who will win this time. Pyro and demoman will continue the game with Scout because they are so used to this, while Medic will cheer and egg them on. Spy would be like, "Look at you two, fighting like a bunch of children." But he finds it sooo entertaining.

Barbecue nights with engie!

Sniper smells like ASS. Anytime he's at the base, somebody has to remind him to shower, and he gets so embarrassed he's like, "Shit. Sorry." And just speedwalks to the shower rooms. When he comes back, he uses an insane amount of shampoo and cologne, so he actually smells really good afterwards. He's used to his own bad smell so he never actually notices.

Spy has greasy fucking hair. Like seriously, does he even wash that baklava? I don't think so (that voice line from Ms pauling proves me right) he's a man thay takes care of his physical attributes yes, but he doesn't ever find a need for his hair because he never takes that damn thing off, only when he showers and sleeps, that's it.

If for example, your dating him and after a while you want to see him without it, he's handsome yeah omggg so cute but GOD FUCKING DAMNNN THAT FUCKING HAIR MASHAALLAHHH brother wtfffff you have to shower with him and clean out his hair from him. He's like "it's not that big of a deal seriously" but after you wash it and it becomes soft and conditioned he becomes embarrassed realising how bad it really was. (Also, he probably has mask lines if it's been hot and he's been wearing it for too long)

Engineer has a shameful addiction of sweets. Like, I feel like he stress eats especially when his inventions go wrong and I have a headcannon back in uni when he was studying, since he was already so smart the MOMENT something was not perfect he would freak the fuck out and start eating chocolate so aggressively like

"What's wrong with this damn thing om nom mommmfh fuckin- mmmomom"

After he graduated and became a merc, since he got better and perfected his craft (for the most part) this rarely occurred, when it does tho, just know he's stepping out of his workshop, going to a gas station and buying so much candy. (This only happens when it's REALLY bad though.)

Heavy actually really likes American food. He thought he'd hate it, but he doesn't find it that bad. He likes cheeseburgers and steaks, very yummy. Medic doesn't like it when he eats them because they can be a tad bit unhealthy, but he's happy that it makes him happy.

Medic got into birds when he was young, feel like he had a bird feeder as a kid outside his house and would like to observe them from his window, when it got cold he'd offer them a place inside and ended up having bonds with them. Archimedes and his doves reminds him of childhood, a simpler time.

[tobiasdrake]

Okay after that ask about Ranma at a Tenkaichi Budokai, I have been haunted throughout my entire day of work by this concept. So this occupied my mind instead. And now I have a tournament bracket.

Please note that this is not based on, like, Versus Feat Analysis and stuff. Just thinking about what would make for an interesting crossover tournament arc.

Note: I am not a writer so this is all probably pretty janky but these are just the broad strokes ideas I had.

Also please note that it's been like a decade and a half since last time I read Ranma 1/2 so my memory's pretty fuzzy on a lot of things. But like here are some vague notes for what I think would make a fun and interesting Dragon Ball vs Ranma 1/2 tournament arc.

Some narrative considerations to take into account:

We want every match to be a Ranma 1/2 vs. Dragon Ball fight, so that means two characters from both have to win their matches in the quarterfinals. This is a bracketed tournament so in story terms it wouldn't be specifically these four guys against those four, but for the purpose of storycraft that'd be the intent nonetheless.

Goku and Ranma have to be the final, so they're on opposite halves of the bracket. Both of these guys are going to fight their way through 3/4 of the other guy's cast, including each other. That's just how tournament arcs go.

Dragon Ball cast are at an ambiguous placement in ability. Somewhere after 22nd Tenkaichi Budokai but before Raditz landed on Earth. Somewhere in the general ballpark of 23rd Tenkaichi Budokai.

Ryoga is Ranma's biggest rival so it would be sensible for him to make it to the semifinals, but we have two women in this tournament and I don't want them both to get creamed in the first round.

Instead of a Tenkaichi Budokai, this may work better as some other undefined tournament to allow use of weapons. Ryoga, Ukyo, and Shampoo all utilize varying degrees of weapon fighting in their arts, so standard Tenkaichi Budokai rules would be a significant nerf. If the DB cast get to fly, then the Ranma cast should be allowed their weapons.

There should be a sudden inconvenient rainstorm that sweeps in, timed at a moment when all the cursed Ranma characters can be forced to shapeshift but not in a context where it will decide the outcome of the fight. Like. Three of the four Ranma characters here have curses, and I don't want Ryoga or Shampoo to lose because they turned into a pig and cat respectively in the middle of their fight. So it should start pouring during one of Ranma's matches, preferably quarter- or semi-final.

The Kamehameha is generally portrayed as unimpressive compared to other ki techniques in Dragon Ball; It's pretty basic but its versatility allows practitioners to do tremendous things with it. For his part, Ranma's self-taught Moko Takabisha, a variant of the Shishi Hokodan he invented because he can't get as depressed as Ryoga, is powered by his own self-assurance. So I think it should be treated as stronger than the Kamehameha when Ranma's cocky but weaker if a fight's turning against him.

So, brackets and some vague outline notes.

QUARTERFINALS

Round 1: Ryoga Hibiki vs. Son Goku

If Ryoga's only going to get one fight then it should be a good one. An opening quarterfinal match worth of a semifinal or final round, to set the stage for the fights to come and establish Goku as the Guy To Beat for Ranma's cast.

Fighting Goku would give Ryoga a great opportunity to pull out all the stops and unload everything in his arsenal. Bandana missiles, using his heavy umbrella like a sword, his Breaking Point technique, and of course, his signature Shishi Hokodan.

Ryoga's Shishi Hokodan is shown to be tremendously powerful, potentially rivaling Tenshinhan's Kikoho. The qualifiers would be a great place to show off its full might and set up tension for this match. Ryoga blows away a formidable Dragon Ball character, maybe Jackie Chun, by blasting them with a full-power Shishi Hokodan.

But I think his reason for losing the match would be because he can't bring out its full power. It's fueled by depression ki; The more Ryoga allows himself to be absorbed in depression, the more powerful it becomes.

But Goku historically is fucking fun to fight. He has always had a knack for not just enjoying his matches with others but being enjoyable to face off against. Most of his rivals were redeemed specifically by how much they enjoy fighting him. Even the ultimate evil Frieza has made suboptimal decisions out of a fascination with matching fists against Goku.

Even if you don't like to fight, it's hard to be unhappy when you're trading fists with Son Goku. He is the embodiment of pure martial arts enjoyment. Despite himself, Ryoga would simply be enjoying himself too much to unleash a full-power Shishi Hokodan, and be undone by how fun this fight is.

Unable to access his ultimate technique, Ryoga opts to remove Goku's options. Using his Breaking Point technique, Ryoga destroys a corner of the ring under Goku's feet, but when the dust settles, Goku managed to make it away from the corner and avoid ringout. Implied but not directly shown that he used Bukujutsu. Ryoga keeps it up, destroying chunk after chunk of the stage until there's only a little bit left. Goku baits him with a Zanzoken/Afterimage into destroying that as well, appearing behind Ryoga and striking hard enough to send Ryoga out of the ring and into the dirt.

Round 2: Ukyo Kuonji vs Krillin

Okay gonna be real with you at first I was gonna put Shampoo as the other Ranma character who makes it to semifinals but then I was thinking about Ukyo's abilities and realized I wanted her to fight Goku so, so bad you have no idea.

Krillin's built around sucker punches and unpredictable techniques. For her part, Ukyo's culinary fighting style is fucking weird and difficult to read. From tempura bombs to flour smokescreens to adhesive batter and yakisoba binding ropes, Ukyo's got her grill and her giant melee spatula (plus smaller throwing spatulas), and she's here to cook up a victory.

Krillin mistakes Ukyo for a boy? As a flip-flop reference to when he thought Upa was a girl by way of Ukyo's canonical androgyny and non-binary presentation? Is this something? IDK.

For the first exchange of the match, Ukyo brings out her grill and cooks up some tasty okonomiyaki, then gives some to Krillin as a gesture of good will. It's a bomb, comically exploding in his face; Ukyo draws first blood before Krillin even realizes the fight has started, and they begin trading blows from there.

Krillin has Ukyo on the ropes for the first portion of the fight. He surprises her with his quick movements and distracting ki blasts, every move and exchange meant to pull attention away from where his next punch is going to come from. Physically, he's tough; Ukyo clonks him on the head with her spatula full strength in an early attempt at a KO, but he's just too strong. But he starts losing steam as the battle progresses.

He only realizes what's happening too late, as the adhesive batter that the okonomiyaki bomb covered him in sets in. The heat from his own ki attacks makes the batter harden more quickly, slowing his movements over time.

Once Krillin realizes he's mired in glue, Ukyo detonates tempura bombs around the ring for her victory plan. Then she lassos Krillin with her yakisoba and ejects him from the arena before he has a chance to break free from the batter.

Round 3: Ranma vs Yamcha

I had to. It's tradition for Yamcha to go down in the first round against one of the major plot characters, typically the main rival to Goku. One of Yamcha's two main jobs in these tournaments is to act as a yardstick to establish how tough the other guy's going to be.

But he still usually gets to put up a good fight. The 22nd match with Ten had him debut his Kamehameha, while his 23rd gave him some solid moments too. Yamcha's going to lose this match but he should get to apply some pressure to Ranma while he's at it.

This might be a good place for the rainstorm. IDK. Would need to seriously consider how Yamcha would react to Ranma sexshifting mid-battle and whether that would make the fight more or less entertaining.

One image I have in my head for this match is Yamcha using his Rogafufuken/Wolf Fang Fist, only for Ranma to match his moves. The technique is based on a relentless assault, an overwhelming flurry of attacks. But Ranma's Chestnuts on an Open Fire training - cultivating striking speed by grabbing chestnuts out of a firepit without getting burned - taught him incredible manual dexterity, allowing him to parry each and every strike of the Rogafufuken.

Yamcha needs to break out the Sokidan/Spirit Ball in this fight, surprising and pressuring Ranma with his ability to remotely control his ki bullet. Ranma eventually stops dodging and uses a small Moko Takabisha to deflect, but this distraction opens him up to Yamcha rushing in with Rogafufuken. Yamcha admits that he borrowed this idea from his bro Krillin.

This is where we see Ranma's chestnut training allowing him to match Ryoga's strikes, and he starts backing off from the assault. Letting Yamcha push him back while pulling Yamcha into the spiral motion. Then, right at the crucial wolf-bite moment that ends the Rogafufuken, Ranma lands his punch instead and blows Yamcha away with the ensuing tornado. An ironic end to a technique that, in Japanese, is called "Fist of the Wolf Fang Hurricane".

Thus setting the stage for how formidable Ranma truly is, and giving Goku a chance to start doing the analysis for what he'll need to beat in the finals.

Round 4: Tenshinhan vs Shampoo

This is going to be such a weird match. Tenshinhan's got all the bizarre techniques: Taiyoken/Solar Flare, Shiyoken/Four Witches, Shishin no Ken/Multiform, enhanced three-eyed perception, etc.

For her part, Shampoo is highly proficient in a variety of weapon styles. Since weapons have been permitted here, she's got an endless supply of blades and staves and polearms to bring to fore. However, her most dangerous arts are what she's capable of when she gets up close, as she has an encyclopedic knowledge of bizarre pressure points that can do anything from memory erasure to instant KO to puppeting someone's body.

I don't remember if it works like this. But I have this image in my head of Shampoo sitting on the shoulders of a Tenshinhan copy and Ratatouilling him against the other Tenshinhans. And I would be very happy if that is a thing that is possible to happen in this fight.

In any case, Shampoo's weapon arts and pressure point techniques give Ten some trouble. She has potential instant-wins if she can get her hands on him, which he's able to learn about after using Shishin no Ken to tease out her abilities at the start. But after reforming back into one, he counters her with Shiyoken, using the extra dexterity of four-armed fighting to parry and counter her weapons while keeping her at arm's length and getting hits in of his own.

While also baiting her into mistakes by using Zanzoken/Afterimages. This is a pretty straightforward fight, and Ten's weird abilities let him clinch the victory.

SEMIFINALS

Round 1: Son Goku vs Ukyo Kuonji

For the first exchange of the match, Ukyo brings out her grill and cooks up some tasty okonomiyaki, then gives some to Goku as a gesture of good will. He ravenously devours it in seconds. The bomb explodes in his stomach and he comically opens his mouth to belch out the smoke from the blast.

This sets the stage for what the fight is going to be like. It's Ukyo's culinary martial arts vs Son Goku's bottomless stomach. He eats her tempura smoke bombs. He eats her yakisoba ropes. He eats her adhesive batter. He eats and he eats and he eats everything she has to throw at him.

He just. He won't stop fucking eating her moves. Finally, she goes to her grill and, in seconds, comically cooks up the largest okonomiyaki ever made in history and slams it down on the arena stage, crushing Goku beneath it. It spreads out so far it even reaches the audience stands.

As Ukyo watches Goku inhale her giant okonomiyaki, she concedes defeat and forfeits the match. Goku shakes her hand and thanks her for the most delicious fight of his life.

Round 2: Ranma vs Tenshinhan

Ranma's chestnut training allows him to parry attacks from Ten's Shiyoken, not unlike how Goku's Hasshuken once did. Still, I want Ten to really pressure Ranma for the first half of the fight in hand-to-hand, much harder than Yamcha did. Ten is stronger, faster, and better trained than Ranma, is the vibe.

First appearance of a killer move is when it works; Second is when it's thwarted. With that in mind, this is a good place for Ranma to pull the Hiryu Shoten Ha again, only for Ten to catch himself in midair with Bukujutsu and continue the fight; Forcing Ranma to grapple with the complexity of fighting an opponent who can freely levitate. With attention drawn to Goku on the sideline, studying Ranma's technique.

This leaves Ranma in the unenviable position of having to fight a Tenshinhan who is able to levitate in the air out of reach and fire Dodonpas. Ranma returns fire with his Moko Takabisha, but Ten easily floats sideways to evade the shot.

But then Ranma brings it back, landing a surprise hit on Ten's back. He's had time to think about Yamcha's Sokidan and how he can incorporate its remote-control movement into his Moko Takabisha. Once this reveal is made, Ranma raises the stakes with his Double Moko Takabisha, controlling each with separate hands - while filling one with hot ki and the other with cold ki.

Ranma harasses Ten in the air with his twin Moko Takabishas while Ten takes shots at Ranma with the Dodonpa. Unbeknownst to Ten, Ranma uses the two shots to form another spiral in the air, concluding by crashing them into each other and creating a new Hiryu Shoten Ha - This one snatching up Ten and drilling downward, driving him into the grass outside the ring.

FINALS

Final Round: Son Goku vs Ranma Saotome

Having devoured Yamcha and Tenshinhan, Ranma brings everything to this match. They fight up-close in quick and brutal melee exchanges where both give as good as they get, and they fight at range with ki blasts and Moko Takabishas.

There's a lot of I Know You Know I Know to this match. It's as much a chess game as a fight, with Ranma and Goku matching and devouring each other's skills. Goku takes Ranma by surprise with a Zanzoken, but Ranma figures it out pretty quickly and gets in a Zanzoken exchange with Ranma, flickering attacks in and out at each other. (Goku wins that exchange because of his superior sensing of an opponent's presence).

Ranma hits Goku hard enough to knock him up in the air, but Goku catches himself with Bukujutsu. Ranma attempts his spiraling remote-Moko Takabishas against Goku, but Goku's been watching his fights and is ready for this. He avoids the shots while following their motion and quietly building a pair of Kamehamehas, one in each hand. When Ranma's ready to collide his shots, Goku flies up between them and fires outward in both directions, dissipating the two Moko Takabishas with his twin Kamehamehas.

After landing back in the ring, Goku and Ranma go at it again, with Goku taking the upper hand and overpowering Ranma enough to hurl him from the ring. At which point Ranma catches himself in midair, revealing he's worked out the principles of Bukujutsu himself after going over that fight with Ten in his head. Neither opponent will be easily rung out. Ranma and Goku then take to the sky, pummeling each other.

The fight rages until both combatants are exhausted, left standing in the ring and unable to muster the ki for Bukujutsu - though not completely drained. This is Ranma's moment. All their blasts and heated fighting has filled the arena with lingering residual ki. Hot ki.

Meanwhile, with the last of his strength, Goku takes his stance and begins to intone. "Kaaaa meeee"

Similar to the Hiryu Korin Dan, Ranma uses a small spiral of cold ki to draw in all of the residual ki floating in the arena around them. He's two steps ahead of Goku, spinning all this floating energy up into what amounts to an energy grenade. The hot ki of Goku's Kamehameha will be drawn in with the rest of it, and the impact force will detonate it into a Hiryu Shoten Ha, firing back on Goku and blowing him out of the ring.

"Haaaa meeee"

Ranma hurls his grenade at the same time Goku fires his Kamehameha. And then Goku begins to curve his beam, twirling it in a large circle and getting steadily smaller and smaller. Rather than being drawn into the cold ki of Ranma's bomb, Goku's Kamehameha is drawing in all of the hot ki from it as it approaches.

Because Goku's been watching Ranma. And he's figured out how to adjust his ki's temperature from seeing Ranma do it so many times. Goku's Cold Kamehameha collides with Ranma's bomb, reversing its intended effect and detonating the Hiryu Shoten Ha back at Ranma. The blast hurls Ranma into the back wall, ending the match.

Goku ends the match on a friendly note, helping Ranma to his feet and showering him with praise for what a great martial artist he is and how cool it was to fight him. This fight really came down to the wire!

CHAMPION

The Winner: Genma Saotome

However, when it comes time for Goku to take his prize, it turns out Genma already plundered both the prize winnings and the trophy. Racing out the door, he physically picks a confused Ranma up and books it over the hills.

The Saotomes did not win the championship trophy. Nonetheless, they proudly have it in their possession.

[natinkart]

it's currently 1am so it's the perfect time for some

✨️FEM MERCS HEADCANONS✨️ pt 1 DEFENSE

those would be mainly things directly influenced by the gender change, so like personality wise they are pretty much the same as the og

LET'S START WITH ENGIE, HEAVY AND DEMO oh boy those are long...

*mentions of self mutilation, alcohol and emetophobia, just two lines, nothing specific*

engie -i like Dell as a nickname, so her full name would be Delilah. I fell like og engie felt he was weird compared to his peers as a child, so put that feeling on a girl. as a person who grew as the "weird girl" in every school, I can confirm that being a, not anymore, girl with scientific interests and "unfemminine" manners and hobbies, her childhood was NOT easy. she must have likely always felt like a stranger, even in a room full of people who knew her because they DIDN'T KNOW her true self. she would hide her ideas and inventions because she thought they would all be scared of her, and she probably wasn't wrong. so, mental isolation soon became physical. getting older, her inventions were her only friends, and if she wasn't a bit crazy by nature, she definitely became so by never interacting with other people. when she was employed at RED, she finally felt complete in a group of weirdos who never judged her because they were as weird as her. cause of her isolating manners she'd forget basic human needs like sleep and food, so she doesn't have the best routine and health, just enough will to live to get through a 3 day long work session on a project without dropping dead. she DID cut her arm of for gunslinger. she kinda washes her hair..? let's just say she cleans them with dry shampoo without unbraiding them... she think at least once a day to just cut everything off and get a buzz cut, but she knows she'll feel bad for chopping the braids off. those are the only aesthetic things she cares about. I feel I don't need to specify the inexistential need to shave in the gravel war, so she doesn't, half of the merc don't shave so who cares. she has muscles on her upper body, so strong arms and shoulders. after going through A LOT of self doubt and need of validation from others when younger, she is actually really happy about herself and not ashamed of being her true self anymore. and last but not least, she says she's a cow girl, but actually she's a horse girl. she loves horses so much you have no idea.

heavy - if the og maikail is shorted in Misha, the name shorted in Masha is actually Maria, so she'd be Maria, called Masha. the og protective nature would become very nurturing, always caring about the well-being of the others. being the only girl in her family brought her to feel responsible for them, so she has a lot of proficiency in numerous house caring abilities, not only cooking or cleaning. she knows how to repair a wall, how to chop down trees for the fire, how to cook on an open flame, how to butcher nearly every common wild animal, and she sew amazing outfits for the whole team. before RED she used to make only practical clothes, but after meeting spy and pyro, she learned to embrace her creativity. in battle, she's a force of nature with her miniguns, whose still have femminile name, and she takes care of them like one would do with dolls. but it's miniguns. she likes the felling of the ubercharge but at the same time the concept of invulnerability scares her in a profound way. she KNOWS what to much power can lead to. she likes to read with spy, have deep philosophical conversations with medic, have fun with soldier and demo, cook with scout (for normal meals) and engie (when they do BBQ), sew with pyro and finally, stay in complete silence with sniper, the only one who knows how to shut up after a long day. she has a buzz cut, but she wears a bandana as a headscarf. it's the only femminine thing she cares about, for the rest, the outfit is the same, maybe only longer sleeves, but that just because I like it, no specific motive.

demo - i dont really have much idea about her, but i think the pressure of her 3 jobs would bring out an unserious personality as a coping mechanism. she's an alcoholic and trying to keep up with her WILL bring you comatose, but she makes sure that doesn't happen. she may not be responsible for herself, put she's really cautious when others around here are drinking. she's the one that holds your hair when you vomit and pats your back. she treats everyone's hangovers, but also she's the one that brought the bottles in the first place. she wants everyone to have fun but she doesn't wish on everyone her situation.

EDIT: you can find the full art line up HERE!!

pt2 | pt3

will some one read all of this, i don't know... if you did HI I REALLY LIKE YOU

[slickfordain]

I was the one who sent the girls night out with the female harbingers. And reader is rich and he reaction of the male harbingers. Oh and La signora is alive because she my fav harbinger

𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐔 𝐯𝐞𝐫.

GN!reader, Yandere Harem, probably short fanfic but whatever

Well, didn’t quite expect for their darling to be a rich girl / boy / non-binary who owns like… What? Three different laptops with different Genshin accounts? Yeah. Things have gone downhill from there, considering that the richest people in Teyvat were so sure they were rich. Also since Teyvat doesn’t have good skincare as we people have right now in 2023, bigger chance they stink a bit. You smell more better and have much more healthier lifestyle that this catches everyone’s attention.

They want to know how the fuck do you smell so good… Which uh… I won’t explain because sweetie, next time please lock your door when you’re nearby an Acolyte. I don’t want you to know what they’re doing in your house for that shit. 💀

And since you’re heading to Snezhnaya, the Fatui girls have been begging you to endlessly share your “theories” about your world, most likely, facts. They want to know how you bathe and, all that… I can’t count how many times you’ve sprayed perfume on them, good heavens does everyone smell so badly. Thank God Aether doesn’t due to traveling through worlds beforehand, but he’s slowly smelling too.

Anyway, back to the Fatui part— La Signora would love to know how you take good care of yourself. Even your smell and beauty / handsomeness is intoxicating that you might get arrested for being too pretty. You sit there, staring at them, thinking: “You’re telling me I’m a God who didn’t invent shampoo and conditioner? WHAT??” And this is basically where the shopping spree started for the Fatui girls and you, since they were the first to be invited. (Others would’ve been invited, if it wasn’t for their concerning ideas.)

You could somehow enter your world with Arlecchino, Columbina, Sandrone and La Signora… They even fawn at your house inventories and furnitures, it was quite cute if you’re being honest. It’s like four babies being in awe of a new life, which is understandable.

You showed them how shower works even, and how soap keeps bacteria away and makes them smell much more nicer. Yeah… Your bathroom is hogged 24/7 that the electricity bills are high as fuck, but that’s okay! You can always pay for it! After all, you’re very wealthy for a lazy ass idiot.

I could see Sandrone taking an interest in some makeup kit too, trying to build out of it despite being hard to make… But she somehow makes it work which was really sweet. You’re glad she’s making makeup kits and shampoos! Finally Teyvat can smell finer!

Columbina will take a liking to your laptops, thinking the screens is how you watch over people in different realms. (It’s not. You’re just playing Obey Me and Twisted Wonderland.) She will also steal some of your books if you owned some and never read them, she couldn’t help herself, okay? How can she when your house is full of things she could learn from? It’ll make her feel superior to those who doesn’t know.

❝This perfume is fascinating your grace! Your creations are always so lovely and perfect!❞ La Signora will keep praising you and take some dresses you’ve bought for her, which makes her honestly bawl her eyes out. She has forgotten about her husband… Yikes… Don’t blame her! How can she not when you’re treating her like some kind of royalty? She’s feeling so bad she wants to do something in return.

Arlecchino will probably fawn over armors in your place. They’re so shiny and well-built, she envies you for having such well made clothings! Wait, you’re actually paying it for her? Oh your grace you’re going to accidentally get into marriage with this woman. A hopeless woman.

And God forbids to let the Fatuis know, because once they do there’ll be a feral conversation once the girls comes back. An angry meeting. Like, big yikes when you came back to Snezhnaya with Tsaritsa escorting you away to Mondstadt… Because once you left — unfortunately — Tsaritsa will yell at the girls who did not give a single shit about it.

Pantalone will hold grudges against them, spitting out insults how they’re too broke that they forced the grace into buying them bullshit. That lead to Arlecchino and him having a death glare competition, with Pantalone taking out his gun and- yeah. Massive argument. Even Pierro and Capitano were disappointed in this.

And the girls felt more fresher than ever, dazzling with their own uniqueness… It makes Dottore want to puke and stab their eyes out so he could feed it to the Sumeru animals. He hated Sandrone way more than he should’ve… And La Signora should’ve died by Ei, if it weren’t for your sweet presence saving her.

Now the boys, especially Childe, are begging you to take them to your world to make them clean. Oh would you look at that, it seems like the Acolytes heard this, and is taking advantage of it too.

You simply, do need a break.

I’m graduating this year wtf

[ovwechoes]

this might be weird but PLATONIC junker queen and hammond headcanons? based around hammond being the champion of junker town!

Junker Queen & Wrecking Ball Headcanons (Platonic) I'm happy to write these for you (personally I think Odessa's the only true friend Hammond has and like the idea of the two of them as a duo), thank you for the ask and it's under the cut - enjoy! (half are questions and half are me rambling about scenarios I see them in oops…)

What are their favourite things to do together? Hammond and Odessa definitely like to spar with inventions of Hammonds, each honing into her weaknesses. They have a placard with a scoreboard near their ring so that they can keep track of each other's victories, often using it as a way to taunt the other. If either of them are feeling especially stressed, they'll turn to each other for these sparring matches to relax or at least get their frustrations out in some way. Otherwise, I like to think that they enjoy watching horrible comedy movies with snacks scattered around them, Odessa probably drunk and Hammond working on something and using the movie as background noise. Whatever they do, you know they're going to have a blast.

What is their dynamic like? Their dynamic is definitely ‘found family’ - after what happened between Hammond and Winston, Hammond struggled with making friends or even trusting anyone to receive kindness from him. His bite was to protect him, so when he met someone with a similar bark and similar background, it warmed him to the idea of a friendship. It was hard for them both to break down their walls, with Hammond struggling more than Odessa, but it was worthwhile. Hammond and Odessa value the fact that they don't have a biological family to turn back to anymore, and those they grew up with simply aren't able to be there for them like they'd want. So, they have each other as their family, with Hammond harking on the phrase ‘the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb’ when reassuring Odessa of the value of their friendship. Their friendship bloomed from their shared experiences in life, shared values and shared humour. And if anyone tries to devalue it because Hammond is a small hamster? Expect Odessa's knife to land itself scarily close to your foot.

Who's more likely to worry about the other? Hammond, funnily enough. Odessa admires Hammond's capabilities and as much as he's a small animal, he can hold his own and has more intelligence than she's ever seen in an animal before. So, she doesn't tend to worry about Hammond as much as he does about her. Hammond does trust her abilities, but he's more so scared of losing the one person who could understand his distain for his past, and would end up alone again on a planet that doesn't welcome him if something were to happen to Odessa. He's finally let her in and became close friends with her, so he's scared of losing that and going back to square one, if he could even bring himself to. It's selfish, he would admit, but it is what it is and it doesn't mean he doesn't care about Odessa any less than he does.

You can't tell me that Hammond and Odessa don't get into petty arguments that are half joking, half serious. Hammond would get passive aggressive about Odessa forgetting to bring him something to eat after he asked her to daaaays before, and Odessa would get so frustrated that she'd start arguing with him over it. They have the most unserious insults for each other that sound too cruel to others but are perfectly funny for the two of them - like, Odessa will tell Hammond that no amount of surgery would be able to fix the gaping hole in his scull, calling him ratbag and blaming him for Brie cheese becoming endangered. Hammond will tell Odessa that she's the reason shampoo bottles have ‘DO NOT INGEST’ written on them, telling her to walk near an MRI machine and see if she's still talking then, things like that. They don't mean anything by them and know they're not being serious with each other when saying them.

Odessa definitely taught Hammond aussie slang and has grown extremely tired of him using them for everyone they meet in the completely wrong contexts. He's started coding his mech to have an Australian accent as well, so that when he uses the slang it hits harder in his mind. He'll say the most stereotypical aussie phrases as well JUST because it annoys Odessa too, for instance ‘shrimps on the barbie’. He relishes in having Odessa's life with their shared humour, and often finds himself calling her Sandra just to annoy her even more when she retorts with annoyance.

If they played the ‘bestie slang’ game on tiktok, you can best believe they know each other's perfectly. They have similar humour and have grown to speak a lot like each other with slang, so they'd enjoy playing it a lot. However, it would definitely cause a lot of arguments if Hammond got Odessa's wrong and she teased that she's going to have to make Jamison her friend now, since her's doesn't know anything about her clearly. 

[laurelindebear]

Ardeth Bay Headcanons

As well as his native variant of Arabic, he is fluent in a number of other regional dialects, and proficient to fluent in English, French, German, Italian, some Coptic and some Middle and Late Kingdom phrases.

Is an avid reader, especially of poetry. He'll pick up any volume of poems he can, ancient, modern, or anything in between, in any language he knows.

Poetry and storytelling are extremely popular pastimes amongst the Medjai. As well as readings, Ardeth writes some poetry of his own.

When they are invented and he gets a chance to experience them, he loves roller-coasters.

Drinks alcohol sparingly, but has been known to indulge in pomegranate wine if he's feeling laid-back.

Beverage of choice is strong Turkish coffee, which he drinks anytime he has the water to spare.

Has a sweet tooth, and gets sparkle-eyed for strawberry tarts when he first tries them while visiting the Carnahan-O'Connells in England.

Strong coffee + sweet tooth means his favorite treat would be a cafe mocha, full fat milk and whipped cream with cinnamon on top.

Has a younger sister, Nesreen, with whom he is very close (even though she is prone to teasing him, as little sisters do.)

His mother is deaf, so he signs with her using a Medjai variant of Arabic sign language which incorporates some of their signal codes and other gestures.

Has always had a falcon named Horus since he was first old enough to learn. Horus I was presented to him by his father. Subsequent birds all take the name (Horus II, Horus III, etc.) like a little dynasty.

Has cultivated a good rapport with a merchant in Cairo who makes and sells the highest quality soaps and emollients. Ardeth keeps his spare money aside to pick up the best shampoo and hair oil when he's in the city. Those luxuriant locks don't happen by accident.

(He may ignore the question, if asked about it, but Nesreen will happily spill the beans.) If he shares his hair care secrets and products with you, you have made it to his innermost circle.

Surprisingly good with children. When interacting with young kids, he will squat down to talk on their level, face to face. Enjoys giving piggyback rides to young family members, and lifting them up to sit on the saddle in front of him when they are too young to learn to ride yet.

Has a great dry sense of humor he shows only around people he's comfortable with (and when he's not in Serious Medjai Chieftain mode).

He inherited the knife with the elaborate handle (seen on his back in the first film) from his grandfather.

Slow to open up and trust people, but once you've earned it, you have a friend for life.

With thanks to @nnobodoodles, @belphegor1982, @picklebrinedgoblinmind, @nooneleavesforgood, and @tinydooms for letting me share some of these before and sharing some of their own ideas with me for brainstorming! ❤

[starfall-spirit]

Love Eternal

Feysandmonth Prompts: Bath Together & Love Languages

Summary: Coming home from a meeting in Winter, Rhys finds Feyre exhausted and in need of some caretaking he is all to happy to provide.

AN: Late on both prompts, but I skipped bath day last week and had this idea at ten o'clock last night, so, short and sweet. Hope you enjoy.

I entered the Riverhouse late upon returning from Winter, exhausted from smoothing over crack after crack and organizing shipments of relief assistance as best as I could from Kallias' territory. All I wanted right now was to see my mate and son.

Despite the late hour, it was soft laughter that drew me deeper into our home and into the main living room rather than the master room or nursery down the hall.

"Don't tell me my best whiskey has all-"

I froze in my tracks, seeing that while the whole family was present, there were a few members who had already fallen unconscious. Nyx, I had expected. Midnight had nearly claimed Velaris, and though he didn't give us the easiest nights, Feyre had told me about their fun, yet draining day before I'd winnowed to Winter.

Then there was my lovely mate, curled rather comfortably into our spymaster's side. Something akin to a smirk lit his eyes as he looked to me. "Please tell me it's the babe keeping this poor female exhausted and not you, Rhys?"

I chuckled, stooping down over the living room bassinette to kiss my sleeping son's cheek. "Today it was a consequence of her own invention."

Either hearing my voice or feeling the eyes on her, Feyre blinked, straightening from Az's hold and meeting my gaze. "Winter," she mumbled.

"That can wait until tomorrow, love. Come on. I'll get you tucked in." Seeing I had every intention of carrying my mate to our bed, Elain offered to settle Nyx in the nursery for us, the doting aunt she was. Mumbling her good nights and kissing her sisters on their cheeks, Feyre let me lift her in my arms and down the hall, head slumping against my chest. "You didn't have to stay up waiting, Feyre. I don't want you pointlessly exhausting yourself."

She nuzzled closer. "I just wanted to make sure everything went okay. And I've missed you."

I smiled, setting her on the bed and pulling out our sleepwear. "I was only gone a day and a half, darling. Viviane was asking after you, but they both sympathized you staying home with Nyx. Then she promptly demanded next time you go down there while I babysit."

"Sounds good. Elain and Mor actually robbed me of quite a bit of baby time today. The told me to get back in the ring so Cassian could kick my ass again. We went out right before dinner and I still need to bathe."

Rolling my eyes, I set her clothing down and started the tub. "May I join you?"

"Always."

I knew she was going to go right back to sleep in the warm water and certainly had no qualms tending to her when she did. She sank into the scented bath after me, settling with her back against my chest as I unpinned her hair and reached for the shampoo. She groaned, sliding down a bit deeper. "Sore, love?"

"I thought it would be easier, sliding back into training after the pregnancy break, I guess. Cassian certainly reminded me otherwise." Indeed, a few faint bruises she should have been able to avoid peppered her skin, likely inflicted my practice sticks. "Don't hold it against him."

"I may be a snarling pain when you're at a disadvantage, but I'm not going to insist anyone goes easy on you during training. Our enemies hunt for weaknesses, not pity them. That being said, I won't train with you, because I may be too tempted to lighten up."

Though Nyx was a few months old now, the territorial, overprotective, and "broody bastard" behavior had hardly lightened up. Were Kallias not in the same position with his mate and two-week-old daughter, I have no doubt he would have been taunting me for my obvious anxiety these past two days. All he had asked was about a rumor of a dangerous delivery and if Feyre and Nyx were back to their best.

"Is the bath helping?" She hummed, eyes closing as moved on from the shampoo to massage her knotted shoulders. I hunched to kiss her neck. "Sleep darling. I'll take care of you."

[choupiee]

Ninjago movie verse headcanons Pt. 3 (Maybe a bit chaotic, might be my last one, who knows?)

- Zane obviously knows how to cook. He cooks very well, barely gets anything burnt or undercooked. He accidentally acts like a mom to the rest of The Skittle Squad (yes I’m calling them The Skittle Squad from now on) he also gets cooked food straight out the oven with no oven mitts. It was a jumpscare for Cole

- On the other hand, Kai is permanently banned anywhere in the kitchen. Get a glass of water? He has to beg someone else to get it for him. Getting an apple? He has to walk very slowly to get it off the bowl. Why? Because he unintentionally blows up the kitchen. Nobody knows exactly why he’s like this

- Since Jay knows how to invent stuff, he mainly did most of the blueprints for each mech, and had Zane to do it in the holidays non-stop. It wasn’t such a big deal, since Zane is a robot and has stamina. But Jay felt a bit too bad for making Zane do the work so he just forced Zane to make a plain water flavoured popsicle in his free time whilst Jay did his fair share of tinkering

- The Skittle Squad does karaoke nights. Lloyd sings pretty fine, he’s the most decent singer. Cole would most likely beat box or dance instead (they had to drag him away from the stage). You cannot not convince me that Kai forced Jay to do a Spin The Wheel and got Barbie Girl as his song and absolutely cried whilst trying his best. Zane sings like he’s speaking. It makes Cole cry. Nya does a whole K-pop performance (+ Kai because he was supposed to mock Nya behind her on the stage but they synced their moves and they look pretty good). Kai just shows up in those inflatable suits and sings a seductive song whilst pole-dancing. (He’s banned from the stage as well)

- Bonus when Kai sings but makes a commentary in the middle of the song he’s singing like, “I left all the doors unlocked when you- Okay, whose holding my dinosaur tail, let it go-”

- They all do bets. They exchange money so much that it’s a tradition (Right now Jay’s got the most money but he’s acting as if he’s broke so the others won’t turn bets towards him)

- If SnapChat was real in Ninjago, Kai would most likely take a selfie of Cole spitting out his drink with Jay’s hair on fire and the text would be like ‘Damn new hair style on 🔥🔥🔥’ (Then there’s another selfie all blurred of him on the foreground and Nya behind him chasing him to grab the phone and the text would be an unfinished message like ‘Hold on brb my sister-’

- Nya and Lloyd (obviously) do hair routines together. They would exchange shampoos, conditioner, hair tips and practise on wigs as well, the rest of the Squad thinks it’s so cute

- Meanwhile Cole suggests Jay should cut his hair by burning it (Zane almost had an urge to get a marshmallow and roast it over Jay’s head)

- Jay and Kai love (really) social media. They both type very fast and have quick comebacks. When someone posts a hate post about Lloyd, you’ll bet Kai would tell him off about how Lloyd is better than them and Jay would go over their profile and shame them for whatever they are interested in (even if it’s actually something that he thinks is decent)

- Cole did that one trend where you fake looking through the internet and find out that your friend’s celebrity has ‘died’ at the age of whatever, he did it on Nya using her hero ‘The Lady Iron Dragon’. Nya couldn’t stop crying for days

- Jay keeps his room pretty tidy. When the others (Lloyd mostly) got invited to stay at his place, they try to attempt to make everything a huge mess just to spite him (It was Kai’s idea, of course)

- They all own a group chat and spite eachother by changing their display names. Lloyd’s phone got taken from Cole and the message notification just notified Kai that his display name was changed to ‘K-Baby’ and that made him change Lloyd’s name to ‘Child Booster Seat’

[jasonhackwith]

On the subject of feline bathing, bacon products, and salons

Sometimes I wake up from an otherwise perfectly sound sleep with the oddest ideas. Take this morning, for example. I lay there in the dark at just before 3 a.m. wondering just why I had awoken. I was just about to drift off back into blissful slumber, when I heard it.

SCHLUP SCHLUP SCHLUP SCHLUP SCHLUP SCHLUP...

My orange tabby, Marari, was rather noisily taking an early morning bath right next to my head. I don't know what trouble he got himself into in the middle of the night that he felt required some extreme cleaning, but he was really going at it.

SCHLUP SCHLUP SCHLUP SCHLUP SCHLUP SCHLEP SCHLUP lick lick lick SCHLUP...

At first, still halfway asleep, I thought the noise presaged the wet, hairy, unwelcome arrival of a hairball upon the clean sheets I had just put on the bed the night before. My two cats are quite healthy, but they seem to have a terrible allergic reaction when it comes to two things: 1. clean bedding, and 2. clean laundry. I don't know what it is about clean laundry that seems to necessitate an immediate purge of the feline stomach of unwanted hair they have ingested while bathing, but it has happened enough times to make me suspicious.

Yes, I'm afraid that more than once, I have been awakened from a sound sleep by the awful HURRRRP HURRRRRP that signals another hairy, steaming present is about to be bestowed upon the world.

That isn't the kind of thought one can have and stay half asleep, so of course I instantly sat up in bed and turned the light on.

Marari stopped schlupping just long enough to look at me with a questioning, irritated glance, as if to say, "Do you MIND? I'm taking a bath." A second later he went right back to it with a fervor that raised my eyebrows.

SCHLEP SCHLUP SCHLUP SCHLURPPP... *twitch* SCHLUP SCHLUP SCHLUP SCHLUPP...

"What have you been up to?" I said suspiciously. (Why yes, I talk to my cats. Do you have a problem with that?)

Marari shrugged (And yes, cats can shrug! At least, mine do. I don't know about yours) and murmured a noncommittal reply as he continued to soak his already dripping paw and rub it frantically over his ears.

MERRRP SCHLUP SCHLUP PRREPPSCHLUP SCHLIPP SCHLUP SCHLUPPP! lick lick SCHLUP...

I stared at him for a few more seconds and then irritatingly turned the light off to go back to sleep. But sleep wouldn't come. The schlupping was winning. It was like the dreadful sloppy, wet toll of a persistent bell.

SCHLUPPP!! SCHLUPP!! SCHLUPPP! SCHLEPPER SCHLEPPERR SCHLUPP!! SCHLUPP! SCHLUPP!!! NEVERMORE!!! SCHLUPP!!

I sighed and turned over, trying to get away from the noise, and stuffed a pillow over my head.

Gratefully, sleep beckoned. Just before I drifted off, however, this crazy mind of mine twitched with another idea that escaped from my sleep-fogged brain. I'm sure glad, I thought, that I don't have to do it that way. Most of the time I'm not consciously grateful for opposable thumbs, but that's one activity that elicits from me a grateful prayer of thanks.

On the other hand, I thought, it has of course been said that necessity is the mother of invention. If we had to lick ourselves clean, shampoo and soap would have flavors. Mothers could never be able to threaten washing one's mouth out with soap for slips of the tongue. Ladies' shampoo would of course be all kinds of fruity flavors like fluffy tangerine or toasted coconut.

Guy's shampoo, though. Guy's shampoo would have to be manly flavors. Like beer. Chocolate stout. Primeval porter. Or meat products. Greasy cheeseburger. Porterhouse steak. Or... and the thought caused me to sit up in bed, wide eyed... BACON!

YES! BACON SHAMPOO! I turned the light back on, jumped out of bed—which got me another dirty look from the cat—and ran into my office to write this brilliant idea down. Surely I would make millions. But no. A quick Google search led me to PorkKleen Bacon Scented Hand Sanitizer, presented by a cute little blog by the name of "A Little Bacon: Making Life Delicious."

So sad. Someone else beat me to it. If there's bacon hand sanitizer, surely bacon shampoo has already been invented. There go my dreams of being the next multi-millionaire bacon shampoo magnate. ThinkGeek has a huge collection of bacon-related items for sale, everything from the aforementioned bacon hand sanitizer to Bacon Jellybeans, Bacon Popcorn, and even Bacon Frosting (shudder).

Another glance at the Google search turned up a song called "Savoury Bacon Shampoo" by a band called Idiots of Idiocy (I.O.I.). It sounds just about as you'd expect a song about savoury bacon shampoo to sound.

Doing one's hair in the morning would be an interesting process if we had to lick it into place. Can you imagine a couple of ladies going to get their hair styled? They'd never be able to get any talking done.

"So I said, I said Margaret (SCHLUPPP SCHLLUP SHLEPP SCHLUP) that you'd never find me (SCHLUP SCHLUPP SCHLUP) talking behind someone's back like that (SCHLUPP SCHLUP SCHLUP lick lick SCHLUP). I mean, the nerve of that (SCHLURRP) woman. Hold still, let me get your bangs (SCHLUURRRP)"

On the other hand, you'd never have to use any product to keep your hair in place. Cowlicks would be a source of pride. That bit of hair that always sticks up in the back? A sign of due dilligence in one's bathing habits.

Ah, well. Sighing over my quickly dissolving dreams of releasing the next great bacon single that would get tons of radio play, I trudged back to bed. Marari, now finished with his emergency 3 am bath, was snoring. It was an improvement.

[whimsicaldragonette]

ARC Review: More Kids' Nonfiction Books Read in January 2023: Rebel Girls

*Summaries, Ratings, and Reviews for both books below the cut.

Ada Lovelace Cracks the Code by Corinne Purtill

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Publication Date: January 17, 2023

Synopsis:

From the world of Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls comes a story based on the exciting adventures of Ada Lovelace: one of the world’s first computer programmers. Growing up in nineteenth century London, England, Ada is curious about absolutely everything. She is obsessed with machines and with creatures that fly. She even designs her own flying laboratory! According to her mother, Ada is a bit too wild, so she encourages Ada to study math. At first Ada thinks: Bleh! Who can get excited about a subject without pictures? But she soon falls in love with it. One day she encounters a mysterious machine, and from that moment forward Ada imagines a future full of possibility—one that will eventually inspire the digital age nearly two hundred years later. Ada Lovelace Cracks the Code is the story of a pioneer in the computer sciences, and a testament to women’s invaluable contributions to STEM throughout history. Includes additional text on Ada Lovelace’s lasting legacy, as well as educational activities designed to teach simple coding and mathematical concepts.

My Rating: ★★★★★

My Review:

This was brilliant! I have always loved reading about Ada Lovelace and her friend Charles Babbage and their work, and even though this is written for early chapter readers, it's up there with some of my favorite stories about them.

The writing is SO good. It's easy to read and understand, and my third grader would have no trouble with it. At the same time, it tells Ada's story in a really powerful way that sucks you in and has you instantly empathizing with her as she struggles with her loneliness and her mother's strict rules and frequent changes of governess.

When she is struck with a new idea, you can really feel her excitement and eagerness and brilliance. For most of the book it felt like being dragged breathlessly along behind as she charged ahead with new ideas.

The author chooses to end the story with her feeling sharp pains but imagining what the future of computers will look like. Then in a note at the end, it says she died very shortly thereafter. I like this choice because sensitive kids can read it and not be too upset by it (in my experience, kids don't particularly like reading the notes at the end). And even if they do read it, it is related in a very dry factual way that is less impactful than ending the story (which is quite emotional) with it.

Even so I found myself tearing up a little at the end -- and when was the last time that happened with an early chapter book? Not for a Very long time.

*Thanks to NetGalley and Rebel Girls for providing an early copy for review.

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Madam C.J. Walker Builds a Business by Denene Millner

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Publication Date: January 17, 2023

Synopsis:

From the world of Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls comes a story based on the life of Madam C.J. Walker: America’s first female self-made millionaire. Sarah is the first person in her family who wasn’t born into slavery in Delta, Louisiana. But being free doesn’t mean that Sarah doesn’t have to work. She cooks, she cleans, she picks cotton, she does laundry, and she babysits. And when she works, she wraps up her hair. One day, Sarah’s hair starts to fall out! It’s itchy, crunchy, patchy, and won’t grow. Instead of giving up, Sarah searches for the right products. And then she invents something better than any shampoo or hair oil she’s used before. Her hair grows and grows! That’s when she decides to rebrand herself as “Madam C.J. Walker,” and begins her business empire. Madam C.J. Walker Builds a Business is the story of a leader in the hair care industry, but it’s also an inspiring tale about the importance of empowering women to become economically independent. Includes additional text on Madam C.J. Walker’s lasting legacy, as well as educational activities designed to teach entrepreneurship.

My Rating: ★★★★★

My Review:

This book packed a LOT of information - and a lot of tough subjects - inside. I had planned to read it with my kiddo (8) but while he could read the text he isn't ready for the subject matter.

It was very well written and Sarah's journey from picking cotton to being one of the richest businesswomen in America because of her determination and drive was very compelling and fascinating reading. I enjoyed it a lot.

I would definitely recommend it to older chapter book readers (4th-6th grade) because of the content (lynching, among other things). It's an important subject to read about, and I think most older elementary school students should read it, but my sensitive 3rd grader is definitely not ready to handle it.

*Thanks to NetGalley and Rebel Girls for providing an early copy for review.

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Good Night Stories For Rebel Girls: 100 Inspiring Young Changemakers by Rebel Girls

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Publication Date: October 4, 2022

Synopsis:

The fifth volume of the best-selling Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls series, 100 Inspiring Young Changemakers, includes 100 stories of extraordinary young women who have made their mark on the world. Readers will celebrate well-known activists Greta Thunberg and Mari Copeny and meet new names like inventors Riya Karumanchi, who developed a smart cane for the visually impaired, and Xóchitl Guadalupe Cruz López, who used recycled materials to build solar-powered water heaters for families who lacked hot water. Each story is told in a whimsical fairy tale style and is paired with a bold, full-page portrait drawn by a female or nonbinary artist. In addition to showcasing the stories of incredible young people, the book features the work of young authors, artists, and editors.

My Rating: ★★★★★

My Review:

As with previous Rebel Girls books, the stories included here are inspiring and educational. This volume focuses on 'young changemakers' - girls age 5 to teens who are making a difference and changing the world in a variety of ways, from music and the arts to sports to activism to being proud of their bodies and their heritage. The one-page stories are concise and easy-t0-read but also emotional and inspiring. They are also very diverse. The illustrations are lovely and complement the text well. I would recommend this to school and classroom libraries as well as children and teens of all genders. *Thanks to NetGalley and Rebel Girls for providing an early copy for review.

[chocotonez]

txt love languages: acts of service

a/n: OK HIII so I decided to do a series for some of my fandoms and I wanted to start w txt :)) I love love languages and I find them so interesting but they’re never rlly niche and small so I wanted to have a sort of domestic aspect ok u don’t rlly care so I’m just gonna get it started now!! enjoy!! (I’ll be posting the skz version later <333)

genre/warnings: suggestive in some parts, mainly fluff?? some might be confused w gift giving oops

yeonjun

-he’s a big giver in every sense of the word, massages, in bed, to just doing ur dishes lmao

-if you leave earlier than him in the morning, he’ll clean up the remnants of your routine and fix the bed (unless he’s also in a rush, if not he’ll just leave a sticky note saying how much he loves you)

-he picks you up from work/school/airport, etc, or just walks you from the metro. he will literally always do this and texts to check up on you if he’s away

-like if he’s in America and you’re in Korea, and he realizes over there it’s around the time that you’ll be getting home he always manages to ask if ur home <3

-he cares deeply for ur well being so he’s always doing his best to look out for you, bandaids and kisses any wounds, brushes/washes your hair if you had a bad day, he’s such a mom lololol

soobin

-Invented acts of service tbh

-tends to cook for you, breakfast, lunch, leaves dinner in the fridge if he can’t make it home on time…

-he also picks up ur parcels and takes out ur trash but he expects cuddles and kisses in exchange <333

-jokes that he’s just your maid but he’s never asked to do these things for you, he always does, and if he wants to clean he ALWAYS asks if can go through certain items or drawers

-teaches you how to cook and take care of yourself when he’s away so you don’t die :D

-I honestly think he’s more sporadic than Yeonjun in checking-up texts where it’s like “hey I know it’s 3 am but make sure to brush your teeth”

-he’s the silent protector, he’s always in your corner and takes care of you, even if he’s not the loudest about it

beomgyu

-this bitch is the loudest about it

-he prefers to receive acts of service imo cuz it means a lot to him, but he doesn’t even realize he’s doing things for you, it’s just second nature

-“ur so lucky you have me u forgot to turn the mf stove off!!”

-he picks up after you in a sense?? but always makes fun of u afterwards, like if u trip over your shoelaces he double knots them while laughing, if you can’t move some furniture on your own he’ll tease you while helping you, it’s an eye for an eye

-of course there are some things he does that he doesn’t even realize, I just said that oops, anyways he closes your shampoo bottles for you, he shuts off your laptop if u forgot, and he adds events on your shared calendar since he’ll just randomly remember it

-im out of ideas so im gonna throw in the hc that if you have a pet he looks out for it like he looks out for you <3

taehyun

-his acts of service are intermingled with physical touch

-so he’ll hold your hand while crossing the street, or you two do massage nights where you’ll help each other relax (sometimes more), he wakes you up knowing you’ll sleep through your alarm with soft kisses, etc etc

-I don’t think he’s protective in the emotional sense, but more of your physical well being. he kills bugs for you, he always brings hand sanitizer, he checks both ways before you two cross a road and he double checks the weather in the morning before you go out

-he cares a lot for your comfort, but will tease you about being like royalty whenever you ask if he has any hand lotion or tissues with you

-“always needing to be pampered~”

-if you ever whine and deny his service because of this he’ll respond w even more teasing but making sure to comply w ur needs <33

huening kai

-I associate him so much with gift giving and words of affirmation it was kinda difficult to figure this out

-like,,,maybe similar to taehyun in the sense of blending two love languages but also not really?? anyways I think the best way to put his acts of services are small but plentiful

-he’s kinda ditzy, so he won’t put reminders on your phone like the others or check your schedule, but he remembers your coffee order just the way you like it

-he learns the things you’re interested in so he can discuss it with you, he listens when you want to talk to him about something, he lies and says the food you cooked tasted good and proceeds to eat it all just to see you smile, and he hangs up any clothes he finds laying around before you get home

-they can seem pretty insignificant to others, but it means the world to get home to him watching your favorite show so he can talk about the newest episodes with you

[emmyrosee]

Kita Shinsuke was rather uncomfortable.

He was sure this was it, this is how his mortal life would end, with his heart beating too fast and popping out of his chest as he plopped himself down on Granny Yumie’s couch with his face buried in his hands to hide the flush of his cheeks and the shyness behind his eyes. He’s hot, physically warm from blushing, yet you and his beloved grandmother seem to relish in ignoring that fact.

The repeated, subtle thwip of vinyl pages turn his heart into a rapid mess, and he knows it’s not a big deal but god, the way you squeal at his baby pictures-

“Oh, my gosh, a little Shinsuke butt!” You scream, feet tapping the floor as granny Yumie laughs at the picture of tiny Shinsuke in the bathtub, soap bubbles clinging to his skin and tiny hands, an innocent smile on his little chubby cheeks and tiny little baby teeth poking through his gums.

- was absolutely mortifying for him to witness.

He curses whoever invented cameras for the torment he was now being subjected to, it wasn’t his fault he was a photogenic baby, and Granny had an eye to catch him at, what he thinks, his worsts. Everything from baby food smeared over his cheeks, to little Halloween costumes- not to mention the godforsaken bathtub pictures- your screams and squeals of delight only make him crave the glory of amnesia all the more.

There’s a picture of him with chocolate smeared all over his mouth on his fifth birthday that you’ve asked Granny Yumie if you could have, a few of him playing in a small sandbox on a playground, which you tease him for because “for someone who hates mess, you sure knew how to make one!” and he just wants the couch to absolutely swallow him whole.

He had no idea what prompted such a divergent from the original plan, you two were supposed to enjoy a nice, relaxing lunch together, he was going to move some boxes into the attic, and simply enjoy a Sunday with Granny Yumie.

And had embarrassing baby pictures been in the mix, there is absolutely no way Kita would have made this plan.

But then, your head rests on his broad shoulder, snapping him out of his thoughts and instantly causing him to relax under your warmth. His head turns out of his hands and he gets a nose full of hair, but your scalp smells like your fragrant shampoo, and it’s soft against his face.

“Hello, my love,” you hum sweetly up at him as if he hasn’t been plotting his escape for the past 20 minutes. He smiles down at you to plant a kiss to the crown of your head, allowing your affection to bring him back down to a state of peace.

You noticed him being an absolute mess not long after a picture of his sisters teaching him how to ride a bike, and you’d commented on his scraped knees and rosy cheeks, the silence and the hunched frame of your usually confident man making you feel slightly bad for even asking to see the photographs, but surely he would forgive you in due time.

Turning up to face him, you smile again and gently cup his cheeks in your smaller hands, kissing the side of his nose in complete adoration. “You know, I’d never guess that such a cute little boy would grow up and give me the privilege of loving the handsome man he turned into,” you say softly, nudging his nose with yours.

“Is that right?” He asks, two large, calloused hands settling on the curve of your waist. You giggle and nod, and he gives you a sweet sigh, “how do you always manage to make it better, my love?”

You give him a little smug shrug, “I’m your wife, I’m magic like that,” you tease, and he offers you an airy laugh before slowly rising to his feet to leave you and granny to continue to look through the photos.

But just a few days later, when Kita gets out of the shower and spots a few of his more embarrassing photos, on top of a small little onesie, and a small card in your familiar handwriting resting under a positive pregnancy test, he realizes that baby pictures might not be so bad.

“I can’t wait to make these memories with our little one, my love”