#I have no idea what I’m doing so I just use the Hulu that comes free with t mobile and ublock origin lol

[infernalembrace]

I need to learn how to pirate shit so bad

[corpsebasil]

Bonnie and Clyde Part 2

Ghostface’s girlfriend may not be a killer, but she’s the brain of the operation.

You lay on the couch, your feet propped against the cushions as you stare at the tv, scrolling through Hulu. You’d never felt so bored in your life. It felt like you’d been on house arrest the past few days. The only time you could leave was between one to four am and even then, Wayne wouldn’t let you do anything but walk around the block.

The front door opened with a rustling noise and you groaned, moving to prop yourself up on your elbow. Ethan entered the apartment, grocery bags on his arms, and gave you a smile as he moved to set the bags down in the kitchen.

“Ethan,” you called out, standing up and following him. “Ethan I cant take this anymore.”

“Take what?” He asked, oblivious to your frustration.

“I feel like a prisoner.” You scoffed, moving around the counter to help him put up groceries. “I swear to god I’m going to lose my mind.”

“This was your idea.” He pointed out, raising a brow. “How are you supposed to be dead if they see you out walking around?”

“But how much longer?” You whined, dropping your head on his shoulder. “I want in on the action.”

“No.” Ethan scoffed, pulling away from you to put a bottle of wine in the fridge. “There’s no way I’m letting you anywhere near a knife. Or a Ghostface costume.”

“So Quinn gets one but I don’t?”

“You were the one who said you didn’t want to kill.” Ethan sighed, turning to rest his back against the counter. “Now you’ve changed your mind?”

“I would recreate Saw if it meant I could leave this fucking apartment.”

Ethan laughed and moved towards you, pressing a kiss against your mouth. Then another, then another as you clutched his shirt, holding him to you.

"Relax, okay?" He murmured, biting your bottom lip before he pulled away. "Listen, I'll talk to my dad. You know how he is. But you're the one who's coming up with all the ideas—we can’t risk you.” Then he laughed. “I’m pretty sure Richie would come back from the dead and beat my ass if you got hurt.”

"Just because I'm smart doesn't mean I want to be holed up." You argued, glaring at him. “It was my idea for Richie to get with Sam. Mine. I’m the one that found her in Modesto. I’m the one who convinced Amber to join in. Don’t you think I can handle this?”

“I’m not saying you can’t.” He said, frustrated. “I’m just saying you’re more useful as the mastermind behind this whole thing.” He tilted his head, smirking. “Besides. You look so much prettier without a knife in you. Sam seems pretty hell-bent on killing us all.”

“Ugh.” You groaned. You went to the couch and flopped down on it.

“The theater shit is happening tomorrow.” Ethan said, walking over to run a hand down your leg. “It’s almost over, okay?”

“I want in, E.” You said, glaring up at him. “I’m tired of waiting for—”

The front door opened and you sat up, staring as Wayne and Quinn entered, a Domino’s pizza box in Wayne’s hands. Quinn immediately rushed over to you and you barely had time to screech before she was pouncing, laughing as the two of you fell off the couch and onto the livingroom floor.

“Bitch!” You gasped, laughing as the two of you rolled a couple of inches and Quinn pinned you, a satisfied smile on her face.

“Someone promised me they’d have a Stab marathon.” She said, raising a brow at you. “For inspo. Pizza and a movie?” She wiggled her eyebrows. You rolled your eyes but grinned.

“Fine. Fine. Get off me.” You said, sitting up as Wayne brought the pizza into the Livingroom.

"Stop harassing Y/N." Wayne scolded, passing you a plate as Ethan moved to sit on the ground next to you, immediately pulling you onto his lap.

"She doesn't look bothered." Quinn said, sending you a teasing smile as she got herself a slice and turned on the tv. You stuck your tongue out at her, wiggling in Ethan's lap as his arms looped around your middle.

"Stop moving like that." Ethan murmured, nipping the top of your ear as you squeaked. Quinn made a retching sound as Wayne valiantly ignored you, preferring to watch the intro to Stab over watching his son get handsy. "What's your favorite scary movie, Y/N?"

"You two make me sick." Quinn grumbled, and you laughed.

-

The next night you sat on Ethan's bed as he got dressed, shoving the Ghostface costume into his backpack. He was about to leave to join up with the Core Four, a term that you secretly loathed.

"You sure I can't come?" You asked, pouting as you watched him get his stuff together. "It would be funny. The big reveal."

"If something goes wrong you can keep up the act." Ethan said, moving over to drop a kiss onto your head. "Someone has to make sure we win this time. If we don't come back, you'll say we kidnapped you or something."

"That sounds like the lamest alibi ever." You scoffed. "Kidnapped? Really?"

"Well I don't know, maybe you were kidnapped."

"I practically roleplayed as a human bowling ball when you threw me at Tara."

"You're a talented actress."

"I want to go."

"No."

"Ethan."

"Y/N."

You stared each other down for a moment, his dark expression matching your own, before he pulled his knife out of his backpack and moved closer to you. You ignored the flutter in your stomach at the wicked gleam in his eyes. He grabbed your waist, pulling you closer, before he slowly lifted his hand to run the tip of his knife across your cheek.

"You're staying here." He murmured, brown eyes fixed on the tip of the blade as he moved it to rest on your bottom lip. The blade was cold and, when your tongue darted out to lick the dangerous point, Ethan's eyes narrowed. "You're just as sadistic as me, you know that?" He asked, putting his knife away as you grinned. "Fucking love you."

"Love you." You breathed back, kissing him hard until a knock hit the door and Quinn said it was time to go. "Fuck em' up, baby." You said, kissing Ethan one last time before he grabbed his bag and left for the theater.

So you sat on the couch when they left, bidding them happy hunting, and scrolled through your phone. And you waited, all night, for Ethan to come home.

BOOYAAA part THREE

tags

@tsukilover11 @user27017201172 @nellyboosworld @gcldtom @xyzstar @iheartemmaroberts @heart-an0n @sadieswifenocaplol @laylasbunbunny @isaidoop @marijulila @just-here-to-read-fanfictions @pumpk1n-writes @burningfanflowercash

[theolivebranchreview]

My Love Letter to 2000s Network Television

by @arianna_mitchell

As I sit in my cramped apartment, surrounded by the unbridled chaos of unpaid bills, constantly checking my phone to see if “Julia,” the latest messy situation I’ve gotten myself into, has answered any of my embarrassingly numerous consecutive texts, I find myself yearning for an escape. But rather than confront these absolutely terrifying facts of life head-on, I’ve discovered a foolproof method of avoidance: rewatching my favorite early 2000s TV shows.

In times of stress and uncertainty (how badly would you beat me up if I still called these times “unprecedented”?), there’s something incredibly therapeutic about immersing yourself in the familiar comfort of old TV shows. It’s like slipping into your favorite worn-out sweatshirt that you stole from your ex whose last name you’re not actually sure you remember and feeling instantly at ease. These shows, with their dated fashion trends, now-vintage pop culture references, and occasional sprinkles of racism and misogyny that makes your skill crawl, provide a much-needed escape from the pressures of modern life.

But it’s not just about escapism. Rewatching these early 2000s gems is a form of self-care, a way to reconnect with a simpler time and a more carefree version of ourselves. And dude, if you do it right, it’s so much cheaper than therapy. I mean still go to therapy. But if you play your cards right, you can watch damn near 10,000 hours of television for nearly nothing. I’m still using my roommate’s Disney+ account and I haven’t lived with them for almost two years. But it’s okay because they’re on my Hulu (well actually my parents’ Hulu but you get the idea). As we follow the trials and tribulations of our favorite characters, we find solace in their struggles and triumphs. We’re reminded that, no matter how overwhelming life may seem, we’ve overcome challenges before and will continue to do so.

In a world that often feels chaotic and unpredictable, these shows offer a sense of stability and familiarity. We know every plot twist, every punchline, and every heartfelt moment. I am so tried of surprises, you have no idea. Well of course you do. You’re a human being living in this god awful year 202_. There’s a certain comfort in that predictability, in knowing that, no matter what happens in our own lives, these characters will always be there, frozen in time, ready to welcome us back with open arms. Sure, sometimes they might be poorly written, poorly filmed, and poorly acted, but I’ll be damned if they aren’t the one constant in my life. And let’s be real, sometimes it’s just nice to watch gorgeous people whose lives are even more of a shit show than your own. Sure, I may be drowning in student loan debt that I haven’t paid in seven months (seriously…is the government going to say anything about that or am I like…good?) and questioning every life choice I’ve ever made, but at least I’m not Marissa Cooper, who seems to attract drama like shit attracts paperclips, or whatever the expression is.

So, as I navigate the stresses of being an actual independent human being out in the world– the impending sense of doom that comes with each new political headline that I try to ignore, the constant pressure from every single direction to have it all figured out, and the nagging feeling that everyone else is more successful than me (seriously, do you guys have like 40 hours in the day, what the hell is going on?) – I find solace in the healing power of nostalgia television. And with that, I press play on another episode of Gilmore Girls, ready to lose myself in the fast-talking, coffee-fueled world of Stars Hollow. Because sometimes, the best therapy is the kind that comes with a side of pop culture references and a heaping dose of early 2000s fashion. And did I mention it’s free? (If you steal it)

So here are some recommendations if you’re unsure of what to (re)watch.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Slaying My Real-Life Demons

When the weight of the navigating the post(?)-pandemic dating scene gets to be too much (and let’s be real, it was pretty terrible long before the world broke), I turn to the ultimate demon-slaying hero, Buffy Summers. As I watch her navigate the perils of high school cliques, teenage romance, and the occasional apocalypse, my own problems seem to fade into the background. Sure, I may be casually drowning in capitalist sludge but at least I’m not tasked with saving the world from literal demons and vampires. And can you believe she did it while wearing low-rise jeans? I swear to God if those actually make a comeback, you will be hearing from the lawyer that I definitely have.

There’s something oddly comforting about watching Buffy and her friends face the end of the world on a weekly basis. It puts things into perspective, you know? Like, sure, I may have paid my rent late four months in a row. It’s not because I didn’t have the money, I literally just forgot. Sorry, Jeff, I just don’t think about you that way. But hey, at least I’m not having to sacrifice my love life for the greater good of humanity. And yeah, I went on three tinder dates this month just because I didn’t feel like cooking and wanted a free meal (but I didn’t sleep with them so it’s not sex work and even if it was, there’s not a damn thing wrong with that, you fascist), but at least I’m not having to balance homework with slaying vampires and preventing the apocalypse.

Buffy’s world may be filled with darkness and danger, but there’s a certain comfort in knowing that no matter how bleak things seem, she and her friends will always find a way to save the day. And if Buffy can do it while rocking some seriously questionable ’90s fashion choices (my lawyer is on standby, kids), then surely I can find a way to navigate the challenges of adulthood without completely losing my mind (though I make no promises when it comes to the questionable fashion choices).

Gilmore Girls: A Caffeinated Escape

Picture this: it’s 2 AM, and I’m elbow-deep in a pint of over-priced, freezer burnt Ben & Jerry’s that I bought from the bodega, scrutinizing how I managed to screw up yet another potential relationship. Enter Lorelai and Rory Gilmore, the fast-talking, coffee-chugging duo who make even the most stressful situations seem manageable with their quick wit and obscure references. They are not perfect, they are not always helpful, they are definitely not real, but they are always there to talk me through a difficult situation. As I watch them navigate the ups and downs of life in Stars Hollow, I can’t help but feel a sense of comfort wash over me. Sure, my problems may not involve a love triangle with a diner owner and a coffee shop entrepreneur, but the Gilmores remind me that no matter how much life (or love) throws at you, there’s always room for a good laugh and a cup (or seven) of coffee.

Screw it. Speaking of love, let’s talk about my latest romantic endeavor, shall we? Enter “Julia,” the girl who I’ve been texting on and off for the past three weeks, analyzing every emoji and exclamation point like it’s the goddamn Da Vinci Code. I know, I know, I’m bordering on being about as clingy as Kirk when he’s trying to win over Lulu, but what can I say? I’m a sucker for a girl with big brown eyes who laughs at my jokes and shares my love of obscure ’90s bands (even if she thinks Hootie and the Blowfish is obscure, bless her heart).

But here’s the thing: watching Lorelai and Rory navigate their own romantic ups and downs reminds me that I’m not alone in my struggles. Lorelai may have a thing for emotionally unavailable men (looking at you, Christopher), and Rory may have a habit of falling for guys who are all wrong for her (ahem, Logan), but they never let their relationship drama define them (looking at you, girl avoiding eye contact in the mirror). They pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and move on to the next adventure, whether it’s opening a new inn or running for student body president.

So, when I find myself obsessing over whether or not to double-triple-quadruple-text Julia (because apparently, I’ve regressed to my teenage self), I channel my inner Lorelai and remind myself that there’s more to life than waiting for a text back. I’ve got dreams to chase, coffee to drink, and a whole world of pop culture references to explore. And who knows, maybe one day I’ll find my own Luke Danes, a partner who appreciates my quirks and keeps me grounded (and caffeinated). But until then, I’ve got the Gilmore girls to keep me company, and honestly, I couldn’t ask for better role models.

Where’s My Central Perk?

When the daily grind of life starts to wear me down, and I find myself longing for the simpler times of coffee shop hangouts and rent-controlled apartments, I turn to my old friends from Central Perk. Rachel, Ross, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe have been there for me through thick and thin, offering a much-needed escape from the harsh realities of the modern world.

But as I sit here, alone in my apartment with only my cats as the only real constant in my life, I can’t help but feel a sense of bitterness toward the corporate greed and capitalistic systems that have fostered a generation of lonely, disconnected individuals. The world of Friends, with its tight-knit community and affordable living situations, feels more and more like a distant fantasy with each passing year.

In a society that prioritizes profit over people, the concept of “third spaces” – those beloved hangouts like Central Perk – is becoming increasingly rare. We paved paradise and put up a Santander. Coffee shops and cafes are being replaced by banks, soulless chains, or empty storefronts always promising development, while local bars and restaurants are being priced out by skyrocketing rents. The places where we once gathered to forge connections and build communities are disappearing, leaving us with fewer opportunities to connect with others.

And let’s not forget the ever-increasing cost of living, which has created a generation of transient twenty-somethings, constantly on the move in search of affordable housing and stable job opportunities. How are we supposed to build lasting friendships when we’re always saying goodbye? Frankly, I’ve just stopped trying.

It’s no wonder that so many of us turn to TV shows like Friends for comfort and escapism. In a world where genuine human connection feels increasingly out of reach, we seek solace in the familiar faces and laugh tracks of our favorite sitcoms. We long for the kind of deep, meaningful friendships that the show depicts, even as we recognize how unrealistic they may be.

But here’s the thing: we can’t let the pursuit of profit continue to erode the very things that make us human. We need to fight back against the systems that prioritize money over people, and work to create a world where genuine connection and community are valued above all else.

Maybe that means supporting local businesses and fighting for affordable housing. Maybe it means creating our own “third spaces,” even if they look different from the ones we see on TV. Or maybe it just means reaching out to the people in our lives, and reminding them that they matter to us, no matter how far apart we may be.

Because at the end of the day, that’s what Friends is really about: the power of human connection, and the way it can help us weather even the toughest of times. And in a world that seems hellbent on keeping us apart, that message feels more important than ever.

So here I am, a single woman sitting alone in her apartment, watching TV with her cats. But I know that I’m not really alone, because I have the love and support of the people who matter most to me. I have my friends from college, I have my friends online, I have this little column that I contribute to whenever I feel like so I can at least feel like an old man yelling at a cloud. And that’s something that no amount of corporate greed or capitalistic bullshit can ever take away.

Conclusion

As I sit here, surrounded by the comforting glow of my laptop screen, I can’t help but feel a sense of gratitude for the early 2000s TV shows that have been my constant companions through the ups and downs of adulthood. In a world that often feels cold, unforgiving, and increasingly isolated, these nostalgic gems have provided me with a much-needed escape and a reminder of the power of human connection.

From the demon-slaying heroics of Buffy to the quick-witted banter of the Gilmore Girls, these shows have taught me valuable lessons about perseverance, friendship, and the importance of chasing your dreams. They’ve been there for me through breakups, job losses, and countless other challenges, offering a comforting sense of familiarity and a reminder that I’m not alone in my struggles.

But more than that, these shows have served as a catalyst for self-reflection and growth. They’ve inspired me to be braver, kinder, and more authentic in my own life, even when the world around me seems to be crumbling. They’ve reminded me that it’s okay to make mistakes, to be vulnerable, and to lean on the people who matter most.

So, to all the early 2000s TV shows that have been my rock through the turbulent waters of adulthood, I say thank you. Thank you for the laughter, the tears, and the countless hours of comfort and companionship. Thank you for reminding me that, no matter how bleak things may seem, there’s always hope to be found in the power of storytelling and human connection.

And to all my fellow twenty-somethings out there, navigating the challenges of adulthood in an increasingly uncertain world, I say this: keep holding on to the things that bring you joy, the things that remind you of who you are and what you stand for. Whether it’s a beloved TV show, a cherished friendship, or a secret dream that keeps you going, hold onto it with all your might. Because in the end, it’s those things – the things that make us feel seen, heard, and understood – that will carry us through even the darkest of times.

So go ahead, press play on that next episode of Buffy or Gilmore Girls. Let yourself get lost in the familiar comfort of Stars Hollow or Sunnydale. And remember, no matter how lost or alone you may feel, you’ve got a whole gang of early 2000s TV friends waiting to welcome you back with open arms (and maybe even a few outdated pop culture references). Trust me, it’s the best therapy money can’t buy.

[jackies-ear]

.

I love my job but the fucking pay man

I budgeted it out better this month, like beg of the month I wrote out all my monthly’s- rent, utilities, loan, bus pass (bc they only do monthly, my one in or did a 3 month pass which was wonderful), dance subscription, pet insurance. Like my ‘have to pay’s. Threw a little bit at both credit cards (one is a store card that I don’t use a lot so I can usually just pay it off in one but I have bought more things last month so there was more on it and I don’t think I payed it all? And then my reg bank cc is…… almost a limit and I could only like 100 to it which basically just covers my therapy charges but I also have a utility on that and my Hulu (only subscription!)). I just changed dance to an annual plan, so that’s going away monthly and there’s a discount for annual so it helps. If I didn’t go shopping, I’d have maybe 200 after all that for the month? But I need groceries, I have pantry stuff but I need veggies and I can only find small boxes of my waffles so I have to buy more each week. I’m not giving up my new weekly flower routine, but I only buy 1 or 2 bundles of the 3$ so it’s nothing crazy. So after all that, I have like. 20$ for the rest of the month. And I have to go shopping again this weekend. I wanted to host Thanksgiving (just fam and dads house is kinda messy so it’d be easier here) but I’m not going to be able to buy anything for it! Like dads prob plannning on buying the food for it anyway so I could just ask him to bring it here instead? And group is in person next week and I wanted to bake again, and I think I have enough gf flour to make like chocolate chip cookies? But I need more chocolate chips… I could do snickerdoodles? And like melt the rest of the chips I have and dip them in it? As long as I can scale the recipe to what gf flour I have left I guess. Or I can just not bake but I really liked it last time! And I’m in a place where I can bake again and it makes me so happy! So I don’t want to not.. and I can’t change anything to my cc bc it’s almost at limit and I need some left for the utility and therapy. so I was like I’ll find a second job. Bookstore turned me down bc I have like no availability. I basically only have weekends, after 1. Bc I refuse to give up gym classes, which are weekday evenings and weekend mornings. And the evenings I don’t gym are therapy. NOTHING wants to hire for those hours. So, I thought the gym school break camps, but their winter break is only for like the last 2 days? There’s a spring break one but that’s my only week off lol. So I wait for summer camp again, bc that pay was good but I spent most of last yrs on moving and actually paying off my bank cc bc I can never do it otherwise. But that’s in June in 7.5 months…. I don’t know how I’ll make it til then esp w the holidays coming up. I already have smth for teacher coming (and it might bc bday and Xmas together which I hate doing but). Got Sarah’s parents already. Bro gets like a gift card. But he doesn’t buy gifts for dad (selfish asshole) so that falls on me. I have 1 so far and some ideas. Bc teacher bday is coming up we might do pottery again so that could be another if she chooses that but we also just did it for another bday.

I’m emailing work in the morning asking if I can change any of my contributions, hopefully I can lower my retirement and hsa so that’ll give me a little more. Thought abt either going annual or canceling Cassie’s insurance. I’ve only used it… twice? in the like 3 yrs I’ve had it. I can also try to change the coverage to lower it but idk if they’ll do that outside of the reg annual renewal. It doesn’t cover annual exams just accident/illness, which she doesn’t get, but if she did I’d have it and it’d pay me back. But it’s also a lot monthly. So annual would be nice I guess but that means I have to put up 200-smth now. Which I don’t have. I already had to go into my savings (again) to change to the annual dance just now. I’m using up all my savings for all this. And it’s nothing extravagant! I do coffee at dad’s! I only have 1 streaming I pay for! Maybe I start going to walmart idk man idk how much cheaper that’d be. I stopped Costco and Trader Joe’s, I just go to the H-E-B by me. But again it’s weekly bc veggies and waffles and flowers.

so I’m just stressed bc no one’s gonna give me a weekend only part time and now it’s 2 am and I’ve been up for an hr over this. I knew it was bad but actually writing it out this month and tracking it in like… oh god…

(and god forbid dad cancels the gym or like kick me off the phone plan and I have to start paying those (ik I’m lucky I’m on the family plans still and I know he won’t for the phone, but gym price goes up at new year and bro doesn’t go, dad hasn’t been bc he hasn’t been feeling well. I’m the only one using it. I think he should kick bro off and go to a 2 person and save that bit but))

[fantastical-euphoria]

from the top of the stairwell in my house, i could hear my two big brothers discussing my big birthday party that was set to take place later that afternoon.

i was turning five, which apparently was a “big age,” according to them. i always thought a big age was 27, or 25, like them. mom always liked to use the word “milestone” when she talked about big ages. then again, she used that word all the time, not just in talking about ages. for instance, she always talked about milestones when she was jogging. she loved doing that.

henry and percy gained a baby sister when they were 22 and 20. i always asked them if it was weird. that i was basically still a baby to them. “nah, we love it,” they told me. “that means we get to permanently pick on you.” i think they were just messing with me when they said that.

“so, let’s see who we have here, maisie, aria, cooper, benny, kidd… i think that’s it.”

“yeah, they’re all coming over.”

“is that confirmed?”

“yeah. you talk to the parents?”

“i thought that was your responsibility?”

“psh, you know how anxious i get over the phone.”

“c’mon, man, we’re teachers. we have to talk to them all the time.”

“still doesn’t make it easy.”

“and… you picked up the blue monster cake that she wanted?”

“i called, said they were out of stock.”

“crap, then what do we do?”

“i’ve no idea.”

“we’ll think of something.”

“yeah, def.”

later that day, i could see several adults and several children come in through the door.

my brothers began to greet the grownups, socializing with them this way and that.

still, i observed from the stairwell, a bit shy to come down.

“yeah, we’re both teachers at the dreamers academy. it’s, uh, it’s a school. well, we do volunteer at the humane society from time to time.”

“well, i think i’m the only one still doing that.”

“it’s hard to carve time out of my schedule, okay?”

“while you’re doing what? binge watching hulu?”

“man’s gotta do what man’s gotta do.”

“i swear to god.”

i could hear several adults laughing.

“yeah, we set up a starbucks date sometime? maybe grab coffee and donuts? wait, does starbucks even have donuts?”

“yeah, absolutely, great to see you again! yeah, she’s getting big, growing up too fast.”

“i remember when she was little, well, she’ll always be little to us, but when she was little little, she’d follow us around all the time…”

“did it ever get annoying? no, we were mature about it.”

“she’s always been cute. always loved us.”

“yeah, absolutely. she’s five now, can you believe it?”

“hey, you know where she is?”

“did you call her down?”

“allie? where are you love?”

“maybe she’s with the other kids in the bonus room.”

“yeah, let’s check there.”

i heard their voices fade as they walked away from the bottom of the stairwell and further into the house.

we had a big house. it had three stories. the giant blue room that took up most of the third floor was mine. it used to be an attic, but then we moved the attic into a storage closet on the first floor. i think it came right after i was born.

my brothers were right in saying that they were both teachers. they were both naturally gifted with kids. the dreamers academy sounded like a strange name for a school, but it was all to appeal to the adults who wanted to send their kids away to a place where they could have fun and dream big while they learn. that was kind of their motto, anyway. and it attracted the kids, as well, because all the teachers were devoted, dedicated individuals who always prioritized the children they taught. and they made the lessons fun. and no day was ever challenging, at least, according to my brothers.

but they could often times be intimidating to someone as little as me. i only knew them, truly knew them, for two years. i only began talking when i was two. and they never really spent time around the house until i was around three. i don’t even remember being held by them. i did remember the following them around part, though.

i always thought of them as fun uncles. i never thought of them as my brothers.

but they had tender, caring hearts. big, big hearts. like they were giant, human teddy bears. soft, gentle and huggable.

but, at the age of almost five, i was shy. reserved. quiet. but that never bothered them. they said that maybe i’d grow out of my quiet demeanor, my shyness, but that if i didn’t, well, it wasn’t a big deal.

suddenly i heard voices shouting,

“allie?! allie?! where are you? the party’s down here, silly!”

“allie, come down, please, everyone’s waiting for you!”

a few moments later:

“allie, don’t make me count to three.”

nobody could see me because i was on the third floor, not the first. i was so high up that it wouldn’t be easy to spot me.

i liked to be elusive. but sometimes that got me in big trouble.

so i rushed downstairs and attacked both henry and percy’s legs with big hugs.

“ahaha, there she is!”

“hey, birthday girl!”

“kiddo.” i felt one of them rub the top of my head.

i said hi to all of my friends thag showed up. my brothers were all familiar with them, since they all attended the same school as me and we were all in the same classes. henry taught reading and math and percy taught gym. they looked kind of similar, but henry wore glasses a lot of the time.

“mr. angus,” (that was our last name and how the rest of the kids knew my brothers), “i want to play in the bonus room, can we play in the bonus room?”

i saw one of my friends tugging on henry’s wrist and hand with both their hands.

that made me laugh a bit.

“absolutely!” he chuckled when the tugging got to be so forceful it dragged his feet across the tile floor of the kitchen. “alright, alright, i’m coming!”

i looked up to percy, who was just about to join them before he looked down to me. “hey, allicat, ya comin?”

i giggled and nodded, following him into the big bonus room.

later on, both of my brothers, down on their hands and knees, got trampled on by me all my friends. we were using them like giant jungle gyms.

my friends’ parents liked to tease me a bit, saying stuff like “oh, you must be the smartest kid that goes there, you have two brothers who are both teachers there!” this wasn’t really true. i wasn’t realy that smart for an almost five year old. but my brothers didn’t mind.

later on, henry had gotten dragged into a different direction by the kids while i followed percy into the kitchen. he was going to call a bakery to see if they had another cake in stock for me.

“percy, i wanna show you my handstand! can you see it? please??”

he chuckled and sat down on the kitchen counter. “alright, let me see it.”

so i did it for as long as i could, never minding that my hands were touching a floor that so many feet had stepped on. but it was near-perfect. and i was quite proud of it.

“wow, look at you go! that was brilliant!” he clapped a bit, laughing. “well done! how long have you been practicing?”

i shrugged. “i don’t know, i don’t do it much, i just wanted someone to see it.”

“that was really good, allie, well done kiddo!” he got off the counter and bent down to rub the top of my head.

i frowned. “i want to show henry, but… i’m afraid he’ll laugh.”

“aw, sunshine, no he won’t. he’ll love it as much as i do.”

“you promise?”

“i promise.” he drew an x on his heart, smiling down at me to show that he meant it. “c’mon, you wanna go show it to him right now?”

suddenly i felt my cheeks turn bright red. suddenly i got all shy again. i shook my head.

“aw, why not? you shy?”

i nodded.

“allie,” he laughed, “don’t be shy. if you want, i can get his attention.”

i nodded, my smile fading.

his faded right alongside mine as he took a knee in front of me.

“aw, allie, what’s wrong?” he rubbed my back.

“what if i mess it up?” i whispered.

“you won’t mess it up,” he chuckled. “i know this.”

“i’m still nervous,” i smiled slightly.

“aw, you shouldn’t be nervous around him, allie, he’s our big bro, he’s got your back. always.”

suddenly i could hear henry yelling from the room next door, “percy! help me! they’ve got me trapped!”

percy and i both giggled as he rolled his eyes. “oh, boy,” he sighed out, then looked down at me with a smile, nodding in that direction. “c’mon, let’s go help him out, and then we can show everyone your impressive handstand.”

“it’s not impressive,” i muttered.

“well, i think it is.” suddenly he took my hand and ran off towards the living room, pulling me like a sled dog.

he always liked to do that with me, and every time it made me laugh.

right as we entered the room, however, the doorbell rang.

“oh, that must be the cake!” percy exclaimed. “hang on,” he held up a finger, “i’ll be right back.”

as i watched him run off towards the front door, i felt someone tug my hand in the direction of henry (the same hand tugger as before) and someone else shouting in my ear, “c’mon allie! we gotta trample him!”

“i’m already trampled, geez!” that was henry’s comical squeaky high pitched voice. of course, this made all the kids shriek with laughter.

a few moments later, we could hear percy’s voice from the kitchen:

“alright, who’s ready for cake?”

all the kids instantly hopped off of henry and stormed off, eagerly awaiting a slice.

henry and i had to both run to join them, henry sounding a bit out of breath.

after everyone sang happy birthday to me (i turned a bit red in the face, as my shyness sometimes couldn’t handle a bunch of people singing directly to me), and i helped percy cut the cake, and after we stuffed our faces with said cake, we eagerly ran back into the bonus room, with henry breathlessly following close behind. i knew percy probably ran to clean up.

“alright, now who’s ready for a talent contest?” henry asked all of us.

“ooh ooh!! me! me! me!” a whole bunch of hands shot up.

“alright, who’s willing to go first? well, actually, how bout we have the birthday girl go first?” henry gestured to me. “how’s about it, allie!”

“yeah, allie!”

“yay, allie!”

“woo, allieee!!!” everyone was looking at me, clapping at me.

“c’mon allie!”

“you can do this!”

“you got this!”

suddenly one of the kids had started up a chant. “al-lie! al-lie! al-lie!”

soon all of them joined in, clapping to the rhythm.

now, i was absolutely mortified. i knew i wanted to do my handstand, and this was the perfect golden opportunity, but… i still wasn’t feeling confident about it. i knew i could do it in front of percy, but… could i do it front of henry?

“n-no,” i shook my head, nervously clasping my hands together and fidgeting slightly. “i-i don’t wanna go…”

“oh, allie, why not?”

“yeah, are you afraid?”

“you scared?”

“you’re a chicken!”

“c’mon, allie…”

now, this was far, far worse than anyone laughing at me. this was teasing. jeering. bullying.

i looked over to henry, who was trying his best to settle the crowd down, holding his hands out in front and gradually bringing them down, a gesture to hopefully mitigate all the noise.

“guys, guys, hey, c’mon now, we’re not gonna make her feel bad now, right?”

“but she won’t do it for us!”

“yeah, like, look at her!”

“she’s a wimp!”

“guys! what did i say?”

but it was too late to change anything now.

“i-i’m sorry…” i choked out before i ran out of the room, the tears already stinging my eyes.

i could very faintly hear henry yelling “allie! wait! come back!”

but i’d already gotten to the front door, running out of it and finding a place to sit down at the far end of our porch.

i buried my face in my hands and began to cry.

i felt absolutely awful.

but what was probably even worse was that outside, it was freezing cold.

at least it was quiet.

suddenly i heard the front door open, and felt someone sit beside me, placing a gentle hand on my back.

“allie, what happened? why’d you run out like that?”

i sniffled, “i don’t wanna talk about it. they were making fun of me.”

“making fun of you?” his voice expressed nothing but concern, i could even hear it crack a bit.

i nodded, crying softly.

“aw, alliecat, c’mere,” i felt a warm sweater wrap around me and hold me tight.

“here, i’ll get henry for you and distract those other kids while you do your handstand for him. just for him.” his voice softened even more. “alright?”

i sniffled but nodded, looking up at him with teary eyes.

he smiled back down and swiped my nose with his finger. “atta girl,” he chuckled. “i’ll get henry, there’s plenty of grass here, you got this, champ.” he rubbed the top of my head again before he set me aside, getting up and going back inside.

my eyes followed him back in, and through the window i could see a perfect view of the bonus room. henry was getting toppled by the kids again, and he looked absolutely miserable. percy went running in, pulling kids off of him. i could very faintly hear him say, “alright, let’s give my poor brother a break from all your chaos for right now.”

i could then hear a collective “aww,” coming out of them.

“but! you get to beat up on me instead! how’s that sound you lot?”

suddenly there was loud cheers, percy saying an emphatic “alright!” through the cheers.

henry immediately got up and limped off to the side, shaking his head in bewilderment before putting his hands together and mouthing “thank you,” to percy, who flashed him a smile and a thumbs up in return.

percy must have told him prior that i had run outside and that he was going to check on me, and now he was telling henry that it was his turn to check on me.

before i knew it, i could hear the front door open again, and i saw henry come out. he sighed softly and muttered to himself, “phew, never thought i’d ever get away from those psychos.”

then he glanced over to the side of the porch i wasn’t on, before glancing in my direction. “ah, there you are,” i saw him point in my direction, smiling a bit.

he ran over and slid down beside me. “those kids scare both of us, don’t they?”

i nodded, shivering slightly. the cold was now starting to get to me.

“i’m sorry,” i whispered. “i wanted.. i wanted to show you my… my handstand but…” suddenly i broke out into an onslaught of tears all over again.

“no,” i heard him whisper, taking my hands in his and lifting me into his lap, “i’m sorry. i should’ve been paying more attention to you but… your friends wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“it’s okay,” i smiled slightly before it faded once more. “but… it’s also okay if you don’t want to see my, uh, my, um… i mean… it’s not very good…”

“no, no, i’m intrigued, let me see it.”

i shook my head.

“c’mon, alls, pretty please? just for me? just for your lame old brother? who can’t even do a handstand himself?”

i giggled a bit at this. “but… i’m not very good.”

“percy says you’re really good at it… and he usually doesn’t lie to me… i make sure of it.” he chuckled slightly. “now, c’mon, before we freeze to death, it’s getting cold and i’d like to head back in soon.”

i sighed. “okay, okay.” then i looked into his eyes sincerely, remembering something. “it’s okay if you laugh, too.”

“i won’t laugh, i promise. if you fall down, maybe, but you know i can’t help it. you do too, i know this.”

i frowned slightly.

“i’ll try not to,” he dropped his voice down, rubbing the back of my neck a bit.

i smiled. “okay.”

he clasped his hands together, before rubbing them in anticipation, “okay, c’mon, show me. i’m anxiously waiting.” he waved me off in the direction of the front yard.

so i went down the steps and into the yard.

and i tried to do one, but, i couldn’t quite stick it, and ended up falling down.

i felt my face turn red.

“i’m sorry,” i called to him, starting to walk back up to him.

“no, no, it’s okay, try again!” he waved me back to the yard.

the one thing i noticed was that he didn’t laugh.

so that made me feel a bit better.

so i tried again.

and again.

and another time.

and on the fifth try, i finally got my handstand to stick perfectly, like it did with percy.

suddenly i felt myself being lifted by the legs, spun around a bit before being flipped right side up and caught in an arm.

“bravooo!! that was all you? wowwwzzaaaa.” i felt my stomach being tickled by a few fingers. “clever girl.” he was bouncing me up and down now, and i was shrieking with laughter.

“seriously, bravo. that was incredible.” we were both inside now, the kids still playing in the bonus room with percy.

the way henry carried me reminded me of how a fun uncle would carry me, in the most irregular, not normal way possible. i liked that a lot.

“here, they’re gonna be a while playing tug of war or whatever, i wanna show you something really fast.” henry took me away from the living room and carried me upstairs, into his room.

i never got to see his room that much. mostly percy’s, because he’d sometimes invite me in case i had a nightmare. naturally, henry’s room always tended to be a bit messier, but that’s just how he liked it, i guess.

“so…” i coughed a little, half from the cold, half from the way henry was holding me. “did you… like my handstand?”

henry adjusted me so i was being held the proper way. “course i did, you kidding? that was freaking brilliant stuff. brilliant brilliant stuff.” he smiled and squeezed me a bit. “so proud of you, lil’ sis.”

i giggled at this as he set me down on his bed. “excuse the mess,” he rolled his eyes playfully as he sorted through a dresser full of old photos, taking a few out that his fingers stumbled across.

one of the pictures he showed me was of him holding what looked to be a one-year-old baby upside down, on the floor, with her hands touching it and their feet dangling in the air. “guess who taught you how to do a handstand?” he pointed to himself, beaming proudly.

“that was me?” i pointed at the baby.

“in the flesh.” he rubbed the top of my head. “you were always a hand-standing kiddo. we knew you had it in you.”

once again, i giggled at this. both my brothers knew how to put a smile on my face, always, and all the time.

when i ran back downstairs and i found percy getting out all the presents for me, i eagerly told him.

“yeahh, way to go, kid! i knew you could do it!” percy bent down to me slightly and showed his hand so i could give him a high five.

he then followed it up with another playful head rub and a bit of a side squeeze.

“can you do a handstand?” i asked.

“ha,” he scoffed, “i can try, but i can’t say i’m any good.”

“but you’re a gym teacher,” i laughed.

“yeah, a gym teacher who can’t do a freaking handstand.” he was laughing at his own self-deprecation. “anyway, i’ve got presents out for you, why don’t you start with the smallest one and make your way up to the biggest?”

all the kids had run back in afterwards, sitting down right beside me and watching eagerly as i opened up each individually-wrapped gift.

i couldn’t wait to play with all of them, but i knew that it had to wait until the next day, since it was getting late.

all the parents had arrived to pick up my friends, and so i waved and said goodbye to them.

i was greeted with a chorus of “bye allie! happy birthday!”

you had to admit, as chaotic as little kids were, they were obedient when prompted.

i watched as henry and percy gave each other a high five, both breathing a sigh of relief. “we did it.”

“phew!”

“glad we got that out of the way.”

“birthday party, done and done.”

i quickly ran up to them, taking each of their hands in one of mine. “i wanna play allie ball. can we? please?”

i knew that it was a game that they made up where they took turns throwing me to each other and catching me, as if i was some giant football. it was meant to be played outside, but it was fun for me as i got thrown around like a sack of potatoes.

“allie, it’s getting late…”

“aw, c’mon lad, it’s her birthday…”

“alright, fine, grab your jacket though, it’s freezing out and i don’t want you catching a cold on your birthday. you hear?” henry waggled a finger in my direction.

i giggled, “i hear.”

“good girl.” he smiled down at me.

so we went outside, and henry was first to throw me to percy. then right after percy caught me, after putting up with my deafening squeals and shrieks of delight, he’d throw me back to henry.

“this is the best birthday ever!” i screamed in the air, which earned a laugh from both my brothers.

then it was percy’s turn to throw me. this particular throw, though, he’d thrown me a bit higher than he normally threw, and a bit higher than i was used to.

“percy, wait, no, i’m too high! that’s too high!” i shrieked as i flailed myself in the air, right before landing into henry’s arms.

“woah, you alright there sun?”

i was shaking and trembling with pure fright. that was a bit too high up for my comfort zone.

“that was a a bit silly of him, wasn’t it? shame on him, he should know better,” henry chuckled slightly, scratching the top of my head a bit.

i started to sniffle a bit, “that.. he threw me.. it was too… high… up…” i was flat out sobbing now. i was still a bit fearful of heights. i clutched onto henry with all my might.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry!” percy came running over frantically. “you okay sis?” i felt his hand run along the back of my head, on top of henry’s. “aw, i’m sorry. i’m… i’m sorry… here, want me to hold you?”

i shook my head, holding onto henry for dear life.

i didn’t like that game anymore. i really didn’t.

“way to go, way to screw up this time, yeah?” i heard henry mumble to percy.

“hey, i said i was sorry, okay? geezusss!”

i quickly took a glance at percy, and from what i could see through my blurry, tear-stained vision, he had the utmost hurt look on his face, his eyes never leaving mine.

“i’m sorry,” he kept mouthing, hoping to catch my attention.

every time i trembled slightly, i felt henry’s hand run along my back.

“great, now allie’s gonna have nightmares all night, thanks to you.”

“i’ll… i’ll try not to…” now i was starting to feel bad for percy. i know henry liked to pick on him, that’s just what brothers did, but still… i felt sorry for percy.

so i tugged on henry’s shirt.

“i want percy to hold me now.”

henry looked down at me a bit confusedly.

“oh, really?”

i nodded.

he chuckled, “alright, off ya go.”

i felt myself being passed off to percy, who held me a bit tighter than henry, making me cough a bit.

“hi, you,” he smiled down at me as he ran a hand along the back of my head, carrying me with his other arm.

“i’m sorry i cried,” i whispered to him, leaning my head against his chest. “i was just scared.”

“i know you were. and i’m sorry i threw you so high. i didn’t mean to, honest to god.”

i was beginning to get tired at that point. it was getting late, after all.

so when we got inside, percy let me down on the floor as i took off my jacket and hung it up, right before running upstairs to my bedroom on the third floor.

“wait, allie, don’t you want us to tuck you in?” percy shouted up to me, him and henry following me up.

they found me already tucked into bed, clutching one of my stuffed animals that i’d received for my birthday.

i shook my head, smiling. “i wanna tuck in myself now. i wanna be a big girl now.”

they both had fond, sweet smiles instantly plastered on their faces as soon as i said that.

“aw, alls, you’ll always be our baby sis.”

“yeah, you’re not ready to grow up yet.”

“well, we don’t really want you to grow up.”

“don’t rush it kid. not yet, anyway.”

“you have all the time in the world to grow up, you can start whenever you want.”

“but just not now.” i felt someone rub the back of my head. “alright?”

i nodded slowly, yawning.

“i hear ya,” henry chuckled. “sweet dreams, birthday girl.”

“yeah, sweet dreams. we love you.” i felt my hand being squeezed, once by henry, and once (a bit longer) by percy.

i knew i was in the safest of hands when they babysat me for the night.

[icejinlov3r]

Okay, I had a kinda random idea for a DBZ fanfic, and wanna hear thoughts on it.

SO! Has anyone heard of the old soap opera from the 80’s-90’s, Melrose Place? If not, totally okay - it’s old.

But anyway, the very basic plot summary is that a group of characters live together in an apartment complex called Melrose Place. And there’s lots of different interactions and relationships, both good and bad. I loved this series (and wouldn’t finished it if it wasn’t removed from Hulu 🥲). On the outside, it viewed itself as a happy, fluffy show about friendship, with sprinkles of drama - but that is FAR from accurate.

This show is surprisingly super dark and angsty, with all sorts of crazy plot points. Covers just about everything; romance, sex, drug abuse, domestic abuse, betrayal, cheating, kidnapping, murder, politics, blackmail, homophobia, racism, sexism, pregnancy, and so many other things I’m probably forgetting. As much as I liked it - I wish it was a little on the fluffier side, and had a few more less frustrating and more likable characters (looking at YOU Micheal - f**k you!)

Ahem, anyway, what does any of this have to do with Dragon Ball Z?

Well, I kinda like the idea of throwing a few of my favorite DBZ characters in this setting and writing a little soap opera myself. Obviously, I’d tone down the darkness by quite a bit, but I’d kinda like to try writing a gritty, angsty drama - with a happy ending (cause I need happy endings).

The problem with writing something like this though is there’d be multiple main characters (no more than 10) so I’d have to give turns to people having the spotlight - like a real TV show. I’ve never done that before, but it also sounds like fun!

I already have a few characters in mind: Frieza and Frost (obviously), Yamcha, Cell, Zamasu, Hit, and Cooler (and possibly Anonymous_H’s OC Geliaden, but I don’t know if I know him enough to write his character that in depth - and obviously if they approved of me using their OC).

But anyway, I wanna hear thoughts on this? Would this be something you’d wanna read? If I did this (and there’s NO promises) it would be very long and episodic like (like Dungeons and Dragon Balls). AND! I’m gonna finish Melted Passion before I even fathom starting a new project, so this won’t be coming anytime soon.

But tell me….what’re everyone’s thoughts?

[911lonestarfeels]

So I got up this morning at five so I could watch both episodes before work. Thank you Hulu for not posting things until 301. 

I honestly have a lot of different thoughts on the episode I thought it was excellently acted. But I felt like the pacing was off you know?

My ethnic, cultural, and race background is fairly similar to TK. One parent who’s Jewish the other parent is not so maybe I’m not seeing things from the right perspective? Like I had no idea that Carlos had issues with the Rangers until that episode. I thought the discussion between him and Andrea was amazing. An example of having differing positions and facts that will back up what you’re saying being civil about it and agreeing that you can’t agree. I thought that was wonderfully done. 

I also really liked that. TK didn’t try and mediate between Carlos and Gabriel. It isn’t a partners job to be supportive and help them find the right path forward. However, you don’t need to insert yourself in every situation. Especially one that you’re probably not qualified to handle them.  As well as TK and Carlos know each other, he don’t know the totality of the history, both in the father, son, relationship, and the relationship that the Rangers had with minority groups. While TK is technically a minority, some minorities are more in your face than others. For example, I’m a teacher my dad was Jewish, so ethnically, not religiously I’m half Jewish. Well 48% according to ancestry.com but if you walked up to me on the street, you would think I was a pure wasp – you know white Anglo-Saxon protestant. TK has that same guise. I don’t know if it’s passing or just like flipping through the cracks. But in the day today he is not going to experience the same thing as Carlos or Gabriel or Andrea.  Going to Andrea at that point then later Owen, was probably the best plan.

I think overall my issue with the two episodes is this they tried to shove too much into two episodes. The disagreement between Carlos and Gabriel, the half family coming to town and meeting everybody, Owen, being Owen, he makes drama wherever he goes, Gabriel’s death and funeral Being in one episode. And the next one we have Carlos attempting to go through every stage of grief, the postponement of the wedding, which I’m pretty sure all of us knew was going to happen, Carlos beginning to veer a little bit from the normal route, the wedding, all the stuff with Wyatt and Judd quitting, which should be in quotation marks, probably, the five second honeymoon, and then assisted suicide.

I have issues with that whole storyline, which I will not get into now because this post is incredibly long, but it wasn’t necessary to shoehorn that into the end of the episode. Unless they were trying to be cheaper and not have to film anything for next season? I really love this show And I love those boys. The Reyes parents were growing on me and I hope that Owen turns down his melodrama.

But the season long lead up to the wedding that was like 20 minutes. I was disappointed. Maybe there are outtakes that they’ll post somewhere

Oh!  And where are Enzo and Jonah like you have the random cousins from California that you’ve never met but not your half brother that you share with your dead mom. Color me confused. 

[volixia669]

So apparently twitter folks are doing a, “Sell Snyderverse to Netflix” thing and 1. I’m begging people to understand how corporate IP works and 2. I’m begging fans of Superhero movies to watch more films.

I say this as someone who enjoys comics, superheroes, and even some of the films btw. In fact, it’s because I love these characters and worlds so much that I’m just kinda in disbelief there’s so much hype for Snyder’s work. (Not to say I agree with how whats his face is taking DC either, but that’s a different matter)

But right, first, corporate IP.

Zack Snyder was a director who had various ideas for how a DC film verse could work, as DC/Warner Brothers was trying to copy the success Marvel had with the MCU. He does not own the characters within that verse. He can play with them, and people can identify the characters as Snyder’s take on them, but he does not own them, or the movies he made. DC/Warner Brothers does.

Now, could they sell the rights to Snyder’s take on the verse to Netflix? Eh? It’s complicated. Primarily because it requires differentiating Snyder’s version of the characters from what DC owns, and that brings into question if DC owns the takes that other writers have done, and it’s a whole mess and a half.

That said, they could potentially license the characters to Netflix, and Snyder could make films that way. However, given how DC didn’t want to give Neil Gaiman John Constantine for Sandman, a character Gaiman HAS written for btw, because of a seemingly now canned live action show, that seems HIGHLY unlikely.

Also, none of this makes sense for either Netflix or DC/WarnerBrothers/HBO. Netflix is just asking to lose money with all their “reducing password sharing” nonsense, and while they’ve spent a good chunk of money on other IP, the cost to license the fucking Justice League would be astronomical.  And they’re definitely not going to sell the rights to their blockbuster movies to Netflix. Turn them into tax write offs? Sure. Nix them from streaming platforms? Absolutely. But sell the rights to something that would also include toy & other merchandise sales? Never.

And now the second, extremely inflammatory, point.

Please watch more movies.

And this isn’t me being pretentious. I’m not even saying it has to be good movies. I love a good Rifftrax myself, and I regularly watch random scifi schlock I find on Hulu or whatever.

But like, the more you broaden your horizons, the more film you consume, the better you’ll be able to recognize certain tropes, understand certain styles, and may even find there are films you enjoy outside of the mega franchises.

Personally I find Zack Snyder movies to be fairly...mid. They’re flashy, sure, and can have decent moments. But his takes on the DC characters just...don’t even feel like the characters to me, which is a failing in itself, and overall, his use of lighting, CGI, and pacing are meh.

His films are popcorn films, and that’s fine. But by watching a wide variety of films, both popcorn & deeply innovating, it’s easier to understand where the flaws are. It’s also easier to appreciate films by other, smaller, studios and directors who don’t have the budgets he does.

Because y’know what? This megamonopoly corporate monster that has consumed the film industry is stifling creativity. It favors bland, mediocre, by the book films, while directors of marginalized genders, races, and/or sexualities are left by the wayside unless they manage to come into some once in a lifetime opportunity. So many stories are being ignored as corporations believe they won’t make a profit.

So maybe instead of demanding Snyder get a fifth chance to make more DC films, demand more funding be given to indie film studios. Demand to hear more from marginalized people. Demand these streaming platforms stop removing items in a bid to avoid paying residuals, and demand there be better protections for those working on their content.

And yes. Watch more films.

[onlydylanobrien]

On the Verge: Ike Barinholtz and David Stassen

Ike Barinholtz and David Stassen have been planning their Hollywood takeover for a long time. Like, more than three decades, which is pretty long. After meeting at a Chicago summer camp in the late 1980s, the two ended up moving to Los Angeles together and trying to make it in the film business. Success came slowly, then quickly, as Barinholtz made a name for himself as a gifted comedic actor and improviser, and Stassen found work as a writer and director. The two collaborated throughout, including on the hit show The Mindy Project, on which Barinholtz starred, and more recently, Hulu’s History of the World: Part II. Now, they’re the co-writers of the indie political satire Maximum Truth, in which Barinholtz stars and Stassen directs. The movie follows Barinholtz’s hapless political grifter and his even dumber partner (Dylan O’Brien) as they futilely try to dig up dirt on a rival candidate. Maximum Truth opened Friday, June 23, on VOD. The pair chatted with us via Zoom.

The movie is interesting in that it is incredibly abrasive, and yet it’s also very funny. Those two don’t always go together.

David Stassen: Thank you. We’re often called abrasive, less so successfully funny.

In this case, it works. How did you guys connect in the first place?

DS: Well, the two of us go back to summer camp.

Ike Barinholtz: I still remember the day in like 1989 on the camp school bus where Dave turned to me and said, ‘One day, you and I are going to make a film called Maximum Truth.’ And I said, ‘What?’ And then here we are. And it’s a testament to our commitment to each other and our commitment to this project that we are now finally presenting it.

But seriously, folks. You guys have worked together a lot. Where did the initial germ of the idea come from?

IB: Sometime last year, Dave and I were talking and I think we’ve always been very attracted to losers.

Ike, you have a unique talent for playing guys who have a level of, let’s say, self-confidence that they have not necessarily earned.

IB: (laughs) That’s a very nice way of saying I play losers.

Well…

IB: When losers get into the grifting business, we think that’s like a very interesting world that we’re just very intrigued by. Thanks to late-stage capitalism, it’s sort of a golden age of con artists, I think, and to us, the ones that are the most pathetic are the ones that kind of live in the political space. We looked at a lot of these kinds of characters that are out there in the world and started talking about like, oh, let’s just do a movie about these two complete dumbasses trying to destroy someone’s career.

What was the impetus behind making it a mockumentary style?

DS: I think it’s politics. You know, you would see a documentary following a political candidate or movement and part of it was you want it to be like a commentary on current times.

IB: I just gotta say, even similar political satires, like Bob Roberts or Tanner ’88, which is kind of a deep cut, just the feeling of being around a lot of these operatives, that mockumentary form lends itself to it. You just feel like you’re in the room with these people and you want to get out of that room.

Dylan O’Brien plays your partner, and you two look like you’re having a lot of fun.

IB: I was a fan of Dylan’s, and he just has a perfect look of one of these guys who’s like, I’m a good-looking guy. I’m gonna try to capitalize on that a little bit. But I’m also kind of dumb, you know what I mean? We met with him and he got it right away. And you’re right, it was some of the hardest I’ve ever laughed, making anything. I mean, some of these scenes are just so, so deeply troubling and stupid, and Dylan was perfect. When we were shooting some of those scenes, we just couldn’t hold it together.

The rest of the cast is pretty amazing. You have cameos from the likes of Seth Rogen, Max Minghella, Kelvin Yu and Kiernan Shipka, and strong supporting work from Beth Grant, Brianna Baker, Jena Friedman and Mark Proksch, among others. How did it all come together? Did you audition with anyone?

DS: We didn’t audition anyone, we just made a very targeted list of people that we wanted. It kind of hones in on how you have to write a movie like this, where you’re going to shoot in a small amount of time with [a] limited budget. Then, how are you gonna get your friends to come and play? We just got so lucky that everyone got what we were trying to do with this and wanted to come to set for a day or two and have fun.

It feels like there’s a lot of improv in this movie. Was that always the intention?

IB: We like to shoot what’s on the page and make sure we get that because we know on some level that works, but then my whole background is improv and I think people know they’re gonna get to come and have some fun and get to do some things that they might normally not get to do. And, this movie in particular, when we were creating it, we knew we’re dealing in a very despicable world. Everyone who’s within this infrastructure is pretty gross. Kiernan said, ‘I never get to play anything like this.’

Now this thing you’ve birthed is out in the world. What’s next?

IB: We reunited with our old friend Mindy Kaling. You might’ve heard of her. We were in the midst of doing a new TV series that’s all about the world of basketball and family business. We had to stop that due to the strike. Right now, we’re kind of focused on the strike. Hopefully, cooler heads will prevail and we can get a good deal and come back and finish that and keep telling other weird little stories.

[lovemesomesurveys]

survey by supremequeenstyles

Did you get enough rest last night? I never feel like I get enough rest. 

What was the last thing that kept you awake? If there’s a night I have trouble sleeping or get up a few times it’s because my sleeping medication didn’t work as well for whatever that night. Sometimes I need to kick it up a notch. I don’t stay up all night anymore just for the hell of it, I want to go to sleep and be able to sleep. Thankfully, my sleeping med works majority of the time.

If you have pets, do they sleep in your bedroom at night? No, she likes to sleep on her couch in the living room. 

Can you sleep with background noise or does it keep you up? I have to sleep with the TV on for a little background noise and light. 

Do you ever take naps? Do you take long naps or little power naps? My naps tend to me a few hours. Power naps don’t help me, but honestly neither do longer naps. I always wake up feeling just groggy and blah. 

What helps when you have trouble sleeping? My sleeping meds, usually. However, those few times they don’t quite work as well then I’m kinda just screwed until I hopefully doze off eventually. 

Who was the last person to cook you a meal? What did they make? Easter dinner my mom and brother did the ham, mashed potatoes, and pesto pasta. 

Who was the last person you cooked a meal for? What did you make? I don’t cook.

Who is your female celeb crush? (If applicable) I don’t have one.

Who is your male celeb crush? (If applicable) Alexander Skarsgard.

Tell me about an interesting article you’ve read recently. There’s a lot on the news app on my phone. 

Do you have a favorite Marvel character? Scarlet Witch, Doctor Strange, and Iron Man. 

Favorite DC character? Batman and Superman. 

Do you read comic books? Nope.

Who has been your favorite actor to play Batman (live action)? I actually like Ben Affleck’s and Robert Pattinson’s takes on the character. 

Who has been your favorite live action Joker? Joaquin Phoenix.

Has a horror film ever actually scared you? Which one(s)? I mean, I may get creeped out at some parts during the movie and the damn jump scares often get me, but I don’t think I’d say a movie has actually scared me. To me, that implies lingering effects. Like, I’m affected by it long after the movie is over. I haven’t felt that. Honestly, right after the movie I just move on to something else lol.

What was the last horror movie you saw? This movie on Netflix called, I See You. 

What was the first horror movie you remember seeing? What did you think of it? >> I couldn't tell you, I have no idea. The first one that comes to mind is Scream, though. I was terrified of Ghostface as a kid.

Name a few historical figures you find interesting. Why? Nah.

What is your favorite historical film and why? Meh. 

Do you usually enjoy historical films? Not typically. 

Name a sequel film (any franchise) you like better than the first film. Why is that? Of course I’m going completely blank at the moment. As rare as it is to like a sequel better than the first, it does happen sometimes. I’m really struggling mentally and physically and my brain feels like mush right now, so I can’t think. 

Which do you find most interesting: Greek, Roman, or Norse mythology? Why? I’m not into mythology. 

Which tale from whichever mythology you listed above do you find most interesting? --

Do you collect anything? What was the last item you added to that collection? Yeah, several things. One of my biggest collections are my giraffe stuffed animals. I have a shit ton of ‘em.

Do you have any houseplants? No.

How do you like your tea? Not a big tea drinker, but a peppermint or chamomile with a packet or two of sugar is good. 

Who is your favorite Muppet? Oscar the Grouch cause me.

What is your favorite type of bird? I don’t have one. 

Which streaming platform do you use the most, if any? I mean, we have ‘em all at this point but as of lately I’ve been using Hulu, Paramount, and Peacock a lot. 

What is a skill or useful piece of knowledge you wish you’d learned sooner? Things regarding myself and what would end up happening if left unaddressed. I would hope if I knew there was something I could do, that now at hindsight wasn’t so bad, I would choose to do it. 

What is your favorite vampire movie? I was a Twilight fan. 

Your favorite fictional couple? One of the new shows I’m currently watching is School Spirits and I really like Maddie and Simon. Maddie and Wally are kinda cute, too. 

Do you have a favorite historical couple? No.

Have you received any good news recently? No. It’s been a shitty past week. 

Have you learned anything new recently? My brother just told me he’s going to take a trip tomorrow with his boyfriend to a place I’ve always to go. I held it together in front of him and he’s obviously excited, I’m excited for him. I’m really not a selfish bitch, I want him to travel and experience new things and live his life. I love that he has someone special to do so with. He’s a damn good hard worker, extremely responsible, and very intelligent. I’m proud of him, I’ll always brag about how proud I am of him. He’s a genuinely good kid. But I’m just being a sad, bitter bitch because my situation still isn’t good and still hard to envision anything changing anytime soon. I’m just not doing well physically and mentally either. It’s really hard. I know everyone needs to keep living their lives and not miss out on things just cause of me. I just really want to be able to do things and travel again. There’s so many places I want to visit. Sooo, yeah. I’m just a sad bitch. 

[femtober]

FEMTOBER BLOG: Shorts 2024

Every year for Femtober, I watch up to 5 short films. Shorts are always kind of a mixed bag for me. I’ve watched some really interesting shorts from up-and-coming directors like Chloe Okuno, Mariama Diallo, and Nikyatu Jusu. However, shorts tend to also be some of the weaker entries year to year. When it comes to low budget short films, unfortunately horror seems to be the biggest weak spot. Many filmmakers also tend to fall into the trap of creating parts of a narrative film instead of a fully fleshed out story and idea. Let’s take a look at the shorts I watched in 2024.

Junior dir. by Julia Ducournau

Junior doesn’t reinvent the wheel when it comes to puberty body horror, but as an early Julia Ducournau project, it is fascinating to watch. Like Raw (2016) and the Palme d’Or winner Titane (2021), Junior doesn’t shy away from being…well, disgusting. It’s an unflinching look at a teen girl’s body, told in an appropriate, relatable way. And its themes definitely carry over into her later works, though Junior never feels incomplete. In fact, unlike Ducournau’s feature-length works, Junior finishes with a surprisingly sweet conclusion. An acceptance of one’s body, like in Raw and Titane, but also a new beginning. This was my second favorite of the shorts this year…

Marta dir. by Lucía Forner Segarra

…and Marta was my favorite. As I stated in the intro, horror shorts can be so difficult, and so can comedy. Forner Segarra smartly and succinctly combines the two genres with ease. Often when it comes to horror comedy, the comedy tends to win out. This is not the case in Marta, which delivers an appropriate gut punch of terror at the end. Forner Segarra hasn’t yet made any feature films, but I’m definitely interested in seeing what she puts out later in her career. She also has made two other shorts starring Thaïs Blume, so I’ll absolutely be checking those out in a later Femtober as well.

The King and Queen of Halloween dir. by Anna Maguire, Stuart Spears

I thought this was going to be a cute little short, something sweet and Halloweeny while also being fun. This is not what that was. The King and Queen of Halloween is fine if you’re into more meanspirited Halloween fare, but I can’t say I’m always a fan. It also lacks a lot of substance, and ultimately feels generic. Very middle-of-the-pack in this year’s shorts.

Used Body Parts dir. by Venita Ozols-Graham

I don’t want to be too harsh on Used Body Parts, but I also don’t have anything positive to say about it. Watching the film and looking at the rest of her filmography, it’s obvious Venita Ozols-Graham has a passion for the genre and filmmaking as a whole. But creativity sometimes means pulling back when you know your own limitations. I get the Texas Chainsaw reference when I watch Used Body Parts, but its bad acting and nonexistent story don’t really do its decent special effects work any favors. Clearly Ozols-Graham likes blood and gore, which is no crime, but the rest of the film just hasn’t caught up yet with that vision.

Seeing Green dir. by Chelsea Stardust

Lastly is Seeing Green, directed by a name you may recognize, Chelsea Stardust. While I haven’t seen Stardust’s feature length debut Satanic Panic (2019), which I’ve heard good things about, I have seen her Hulu Into the Dark anthology episode, which I was…less than impressed with. It’s obvious what Seeing Green is paying homage to with its not-so-subtle Evil Dead dialogue and imagery. The problem, once again, is the lack of complete storyline or impressive effects. Most of the short is three women sitting on a couch talking, which is not interesting in the least. I’ll likely check out Satanic Panic at a later date, and I’ll keep an eye out for whatever Chelsea Stardust may have planned in the future. You may also know her as Jason Blum’s former personal assistant. So while I have no love for everything I’ve seen from her so far, I do think Chelsea Stardust has worked hard, and I would like to see her succeed!

[adamwatchesmovies]

The First Omen (2024)

There can’t be too many candidates for “Best Prequel Ever Made”, which makes it sound like I’m damning The First Omen with faint praise, but I’m not. This is a surprisingly frightening, moody and engaging film, even if you already know what’s coming next. The poster makes it seem like a generic attempt to squeeze more cash out of an existing property. It is so much more than that.

In Rome, 1971, American novitiate Margaret Daino (Nell Tiger Free) prepares to take her vows at the Vizzardeli Orphanage, where she befriends a troubled girl named Carlita (Nicole Sorace). After a series of strange events, Margaret is approached by Father Brennan (Ralph Ineson), who warns her of a conspiracy within the church. The rise of secularism has pushed radical occultists to bring about the birth of the Antichrist. He believes Carlita is key to the conspirator’s plan but Margaret doesn’t think so… not at first…

You would never guess The First Omen was originally slated for a Hulu release or that this is Arkasha Stevenson’s directorial debut. This is a confident, atmospheric film that begins with one hell of a disturbing intro and then keeps building on it. Margaret arrives in Rome amid protests that make the city feel unsafe even before we see anything that could be labeled as "creepy". Some of the most frightening moments happen in the orphanage, when Margaret navigates the corridors and investigates strange noises in the shadows or the story Father Brennan has told her. Everything is so dark you’re begging for some light to show you what’s happening around her… and then immediately regret that wish once we see the sickly yellow glow of a lit candle appear. I don’t want to say too much but that shot with Ishtar Currie-Wilson as Sister Angelica still gives me the creeps just thinking about it. The thing is, there's nothing so alarming that makes you want to scream to Margaret "Get out!", not until we meet Father Brennan but when he does tell our protagonist what's happening, it makes so much sense. You felt the unease deep inside for a while now; you just couldn't quite explain why.

Then, there are the glimpses we get at the conspirators and the strange rituals they're performing to bring the Anti-Christ to Earth. We don’t see a lot, but what we do see is elegantly unsettling. The scenes are effective because Stevenson and her co-writers Tim Smith and Keith Thomas (Working off of a story by Ben Jacoby) is using those scenes to add to - and build upon - another fear that’s prevalent during the film: the fear of giving birth/pregnancy. Depending on the scene, it's of an unwanted pregnancy or of the happiest day of a woman’s life gone wrong. When Margaret finally meets Father Brennan properly, it’s alone, in an apartment he’s renting. You have no reason to think he’s sinister, but the fact that the naive Margaret is going there, at night… it puts you on edge. You should be relieved that our heroine is being pointed in the right direction but the idea of being scared is baked into your psyche at that point and can't be easily shaken. The film has a hard R rating, primarily for one shot that involves nudity and I can see why it was kept in. That’s another moment that sears itself into your brain.

The worst thing about The First Omen is that it comes about fifty years after the original. The series' fans already know how the film will end and its status as a prequel limits what it can do. There’s also the fact that this sort of tale is much less skin-crawling now than it would’ve been all those years ago, and not only because we’ve seen loads of these sorts of films (this is the second one this year, in fact). That could be a moot point if The First Omen turns out to be the first chapter in a new series, similar to Rise of the Planet of the Apes, however. There is another factor to consider when evaluating it too: the fact that many people may not have seen The Omen - specifically, the 1976 version. Whether you have or haven’t only matters so much because either way, this prequel has many great scenes and some surprises along the way too.

The First Omen has a solid cast, there are some memorable scares/visuals and as a demonstration of the art of filmmaking, it’s strong - doubly strong when we realize this is Arkasha Stevenson's directorial debut. I made watching The First Omen a priority because I’d heard such good things. Hopefully, I get to keep that trend going. See it. (June 18, 2024)

[josiebelladonna]

well, i was planning on taking the summer off but something is going on with alex, though. again. except this is worse. much, much worse.

(think i’ll just come on here sporadically from here on out)

so yesterday, i learned alex uses the waking up app for meditation. i had to look into it because i never heard of it and initially, i completely get why he uses it: it’s meditation based on agnosticism, which is brilliant because it’s hard to find anything like that that doesn’t go all religious on us (really, just ask me how fucking frustrating it is to do research on what the hell spirituality has to do with sexuality and not find things that go on about god and the bible and whatnot).

there are a couple of things about it that bug the hell out of me, though.

aside from the outlandish price—$120 a year following a 30-day trial, like bro, hulu doesn’t even charge that much—if something seems too good to be true, it probably is.

the guy who started the app, sam harris, is an atheist, which on its own sent a red flag to me, sorry not sorry. i identify as an agnostic for several reasons, notably the fact that every atheist i’ve ever met is a preachy asshole. they’re basically just like the hyper religious nut jobs but they use logic rather than god to undermine you. the app’s modus operandi is basically teaching you to become aware of the lack of sense of self inside until you become one with everything.

aware of the lack of self inside. something about this felt so off to me when i read it, because i learned a long time ago that you don’t need something or someone to “complete” you: you’re whole as is. you’re a whole person as is in the grand scheme of things. if you’re becoming aware that your sense of self is weak, then it’s probably a psychiatric issue. i hate how holier-than-thou its intent is, too, like “this is the way, the real way, not that conventional meditation crap :)”, which is such an atheist thing and it really is no better than the bible thumpers who do the same thing but with god at the helm. it’s like the creepy, foul-smelling twin of solipsism, which says that the sense of self is the only thing that exists.

i saw a quote on quora (don’t judge me) that said, “if you’re tapping your way to enlightenment, you’ll never get there.” quora and reddit are both littered with edgelords and people who talk out of both corners of their mouths, but that caught my attention because i have realized how much better i feel staying away from here. hell, within the first week i was feeling better.

as for meditation/mindfulness… i’m no guru (in fact, I’m furthest away from something of a guru), but it’s really just about stopping to smell the roses. hearing your own breath and focusing on that for some 5 to 10 minutes. it’s being aware of your thoughts and behavior, of your mind and body. it’s about calming your thoughts for a few minutes. and it’s something that you do over the course of your life by nature, not by some fucking app that costs $100+ and only works 10% of the time anyway. if you do it enough, it’ll become part of your personality. it’s not a quick fix, either, so you’re going to have bad days, days you don’t feel like it, and in my case, you’re going to unearth some things. if you’re tapping your way to mindfulness, you’ll never get there.

i don’t have any idea how long he’s been using the app, he didn’t specify but i think it was around the solstice when i noticed a shift in alex’s behavior—i say the solstice because that was the last time he did a livestream and he acknowledged me again. he would like my comments when no one was looking—in fact, i still anticipate him doing that because it always made my day and made my heart skip a few beats. he would come onto my stories constantly just to watch.

now, it’s like someone reprogrammed him from the ground up. he’s been weirdly disengaged. he actually disparaged things like pastries and baked goods—when the man loves his cannoli and pie, and every time i make babka (or anything jewish), i think of him. i got into jewish cooking because of him—my support of israel definitely plays a role but it goes back to him. plus, i’m a baker next to an artist and writer now, baked goods are part of my bread and butter now (as is literal bread and butter) so imagine how that made me feel to see him say that. “holidays are for indulging”, indulge when you feel like it and there’s nothing wrong with you for feeling these things, either.

i’ve been mindfully eating since last july. i lost a ton of weight. but i’m a baker, a bread maker, a pastry chef. the other day i was eating this big burger with caramelized onions and french fries and i still woke up with a slim belly the next day. i’m about to make another key lime pie during this freaking heat wave and the last one i made, i was still able to keep my weight down (i actually lost weight). if you’re having a problem with cravings, it sounds counterintuitive but don’t ignore them: if you want a piece of pie, have a piece of pie, but just have the one slice and eat it slowly so you enjoy every aspect of it; you don’t need multiple. this is literally how you stop those cravings in their tracks. and i have actual medical science to back me up on this, too.

i genuinely don’t get his logic here like… there’s nothing inherently wrong with temptation. a little party never killed anyone. it’s all about balance (he’s a libra, libras love balance… at least i thought they did). it really does feel like that toxic diet culture i grew up with in the 2000s but with a different coat of paint. all i see here is a slippery slope: the man of my dreams is on a slippery slope and there’s nothing i can do. a phony attempt at meditation is taking advantage of his flaws and foibles and blowing them up.

i have no doubt that fucking g*psy definitely had something to do with it, too. becoming one with her and leaving me behind in the dust as if I’m the other woman: i may be in love with him but you got another thing coming if you think i’m the other woman.

it’s such a shock from the alex of the last three years, the alex i got to know and fall in love with and put me out in the open.

this whole time i’m thinking of a quote from ron swanson: “people who buy things are suckers.”

i want my jerk back, you toxic cunts.

[yessadirichards]

Laura Linney and Nico Parker are mother and daughter in Laura Chinn's ‘Suncoast’

PARK CITY, Utah

When writer-director Laura Chinn was a teenager in 2005, her mother moved her and her terminally ill brother to Florida. The idea was for him to spend his last days in hospice in peace. Instead, the place was mobbed by protesters and media because, as they’d quickly discover, Terri Schiavo was in that same hospice.

The circumstances provided the inspiration for Chinn’s directorial debut, “Suncoast,” starring Nico Parker as the teenager in question and Laura Linney as her mother. It’s streaming on Hulu starting Friday.

Though it’s not unusual for a filmmaker to draw on their life for narrative guidance, within this strange and fraught and emotional time Chinn saw an opportunity to tell not just her story but a more universal one about grief and empathy. And she got to work, using the skills she’d learned over the years, writing for and acting on television (including creating the series “Florida Girls”) and learning some new ones too (like photography and how to shotlist).

Schiavo was in a vegetative stage for 15 years after a cardiac arrest at 26 in 1990 and had become the face of end-of-life legal rights, which beyond the bitter disagreement between her husband and her parents had ignited a national debate. In 2005, right before her death, it was a full-on media and political frenzy.

“But also as a teenager being in that position, it gave me an opportunity to see a very political story that was on the news right up close and see that these were all human beings.” Chinn said.

The film is still mostly fiction, however.

“It’s important to know that while Kristine is certainly archetypally based on Laura’s mother, while there may be some similarities here and there, I was not intentionally playing her mother,” Linney said.

Likewise for Parker’s Doris, who is attempting some semblance of normalcy amid the turbulence in her teenage life, making new friends and pushing boundaries. Much to her surprise, she finds herself most comforted by a protester played by Woody Harrelson.

“She’s sort of wise beyond her years,” Chinn said. “This older person is someone she can connect with more so than the people her own age.”

Parker, who is the daughter of actor Thandiwe Newton and writer-director Ol Parker, cried the first time she read the script.

“I just couldn’t stop thinking about it,” she said. “I couldn’t stop saying lines.”

Plus the chance to work with Linney and Harrelson was one that Parker said she was “borderline begging” for.

“Woody’s the best, he’s so weird and so funny,” Parker said. “Then when the camera is on him — and him and Laura are similar that way — life just beams out of him, he’s so present. Watching it up close is so interesting. I don’t know what happens in his face, but it’s just sunshine.”

Linney said for her, everything was right there in the script that made it easy despite the heavy material.

“I’m the daughter of a playwright, so the story comes first and you do everything you can to help move that along,” Linney said. “When the script is good and the people are good and you’re having a good time, it’s easy. It’s not painful. You’re not like beating your chest. You don’t go home depressed … And there’s nothing better than feeling like you’re part of a younger artists’ launching.”

Este Haim and her partner Chris Stracey helped craft the score, inspired by the music of the period. All were especially excited to get permission to cover The National’s “Green Gloves,” sung by Monica Martin, for a pivotal moment when Doris is running to hospice.

She’d loved the song but didn’t realize how relevant it was until she read an interview with the group’s frontman Matt Berninger about how it was about grief, and missing someone so much that you start wanting to wear their clothes.

“It’s really a perfect song,” Chinn said,

The “Suncoast” world premiere at the Sundance Film Festival last month was a teary occasion. Chinn’s own mother ran out of tissues and a stranger was right there with another to hand off. It was a common sight in a theater full of sniffling (“Suncoast” is funny as well).

“I hope that people can walk away with it being able to express more of their own grief, feel more of their own grief and feel more connected just to the idea that we all go through this and that there’s not really a right or wrong way to do it,” Chinn said. “We’re all just kind of doing the best we can.”

[25ticupsinacupboard]

Haha ignore the fact this is multiple days late, got busy and then forgot about this convo 😅😅

I started reading the manga during my small moments of free time and goddamn I still repeat “he’s just a little guy” over and over about vash like I did with stampede 😭😭 and I just finished volume 1 so when they were on the sand steamer and even just the part where he was shooting the big guy I was sitting there in shock because he looked like he was killing him even tho I knew he probably wasn’t I was just blown away. And then like five seconds later he was beating up the kid for being sentimental akjdkaks. The whiplash I’d get from being on the edge of my seat from a battle to cackling at a little comment from vash

Tho I will admit I’m having a bit of trouble following along at times. Sometimes there’s so much going on on a page that I can’t tell what’s happening or I can’t understand what’s happening in a panel. I’d sit there for a few minutes just studying the page to try and find out what’s happening 😅 everything just seems to move so fast but honestly it’s a little nice knowing that one of the small gripes I had about stampede was part of the manga, so I know it’s not like bad writing. It may also be the fact I don’t usually read manga but stampede was like that and I have read small parts of other manga before and I don’t remember them moving so fast

Gosh I feel a little sick just thinking about it still. Like I didn’t even remember the plant part ngl just where nai was changing vash’s memories and using him to open the other dimension. That’s why I usually prefer reading stuff like that cause then I can just skim the page and get a vague idea of what’s happening and don’t have to pay too much attention but with tv you have to watch to understand, and I couldn’t even look away and just listen cause I watch sub not dub (tho I really hope the dub comes to Hulu at some point I think this is the first time I’ve ever wanted to watch a dub of an anime the clips I’ve seen are just so good) but I’m glad I’ll be able to just skim the page when reading the manga and it gets uncomfy

I kinda can’t imagine him getting so aggressive which is probably why I was so shocked by the manga. Like I can’t remember too many moments from what I’ve read that he stopped to try and “talk it out” (tho that could also be me just missing it from fast-pacedness) I still think of him almost never pulling his gun when I have read him doing it over and over in the manga. Honestly I’m a little scared for when nai arrives in the manga because 1, youve said vash gets scary and 2, I’m genuinely worried nai will be a lot worse in the manga tho I have no reason to think that yet. Maybe it’s cause of the talk of stampede just being a prequel so nai might get worse (if he’s alive but like ?? He’s gotta be right??? No way he just died idk I have a feeling he’s alive or smth)

Oh god the FEATHERS I was wondering what that was when I was watching stampede and then the wings appeared in the manga and I was like OH MY GOD. And now I’m even more worried because he can’t control it??? So people fear him???? Not my boy don’t do this to him he don’t deserve it 😭😭

I can’t tell if the manga will heal me from stampede or not cause apparently vash stands up for himself way fucking more than in the show which I’m extremely happy about but also sounds like he goes through so much more trauma which I cannot deal with he needs all the hugs 😭😭😭

Hey besties I have a question

Do I read the manga or watch the anime of trigun first? I wanted to read the manga first but the only way I know to access it is through the trigun manga overhaul account here on tumblr but i don’t like downloading stuff from random people on the internet

So if you say manga first, is that tumblr account a good and safe way to access it online or is there a better place?

[amnesia-yourself]

When Kara is feeling particularly depressed, she streams Big Little Lies on Lena’s Hulu account and marvels at the complexity of human emotions. As the plot unravels she, along with the characters, alternates between laughing and weeping, brief joy and deep sadness, and relates to every single one of them.

When she is happy, she takes her pick from the Real Housewives franchise- New York City is her favorite -and marvels at their silliness, their frivolity, and enjoys the simplicity of her current life before it is swept from under her by another disaster.

When Lena knocks on her door, Kara is watching Big Little Lies. She x-rays through the wood, sighs and pauses the show before getting up. She looks at herself in the mirror, wipes her cheeks where they’re pink and stained with tears. She’s pretty when she cries, she thinks. Crying is so human, so vulnerable, so complex. You can cry for no reason. You can cry for many reasons and not know any. You can cry with somebody or alone.

I don’t want to be alone anymore.

It’s a sudden thought. For years she was fine with things the way they were, and now, looking into the mirror and wiping her tears, an unexpected certainty looks back at her. She doesn’t want to be alone anymore.

Opening the door is like an out of body experience. She imagines she is a character in the tv show, a complicated human woman who is in love with an even more complicated human woman. She imagines she is keeping little lies from this woman she is in love with, her best friend. She imagines those lies are small on their own but, if stacked together, make one big giant lie that she might not be able to come back from.

She imagines the camera panning in on her face just before she shapes her mouth into a smile.

//

“Can I ask you something?” Lena asks.

A giant bowl of half-eaten ramen is on the coffee table, because it’s just that kind of day. Kara’s head was resting on Lena’s shoulders, and now it’s on her thigh, and soon enough it’ll be somewhere else. Maybe nuzzling her stomach- Kara likes the idea of that.

“This is like, the fourth time since I gave you my Hulu account that you’re rewatching this show.”

Kara blinks bleary eyes at the television, paused on the ridiculous frame of Madeline tumbling down a cliff side with a bunch of puppets.

“I like to watch it when I’m sad,” she explains. “It’s comforting. Alex says that makes me borderline psychopathic.”

Lena hums. “I like to read this book I have on the history of urinalysis when I’m upset.”

“That’s so random.”

“Centuries ago physicians had to taste urine to determine its glucose content, and now look at us, using dipsticks like a civilized bunch. We’ve come so far. It makes me feel better.”

“I get it. Still weird, though.”

“Yeah,” Lena chuckles. “I know.”

Kara touches her own cheek, feels the dryness of it. “Nicole’s character, she has this line- she says, ‘I’m trying to decide whether I’m happy or sad.’ I feel like that a lot, you know. Like I can’t tell.”

Lena ghosts her finger down the bridge of Kara’s nose. “You said you watch the show when you’re sad.”

Kara nods, careful not to shake off Lena’s touch.

“You’re sad now. Why?”

Kara sighs, tries to lie, but looking at Lena- she just can’t get herself to do it. Sometimes, on particularly bad days, she barely restrains herself from climbing the tall statue in the city square and shouting out her identity for anyone willing to listen.

“Because I want things I can’t have,” she whispers.

“What else?”

“Because…” Kara stares at the bright lights on the ceiling, a tell-tale throb starting at her left temple. Better it than whatever was happening to her chest when she was looking at Lena. “Because my mom told me I was meant for great things, but I still feel so small.”

Lena cups Kara’s cheek. “What else?”

“Because…” Kara rubs her eyes, fresh tears stinging again. “I don’t belong anywhere. Because I’ve never been loved for who I really am.”

“I love you.”

Lena’s hand is wet with Kara’s tears but she keeps it there on her cheek, steady and warm and unmoving. Kara’s lips twist and Lena plows on determinedly.

“I love that you try to open up to me, even if it terrifies you- even if I don’t know why it makes you so terrified. I love you when you disappear for weeks and I love you when you’re at my office every single day. I love that you stand up for everyone, no matter whether you thought you could win or not. I love that you have an alarm reminding you to nap but not one to wake you up. I love when you laugh before you realize you're laughing, when it’s loud and full and funny. Is that not who you really are?”

Kara tilts her head to find the soft skin of Lena’s inner wrist with her lips and shrugs. “I like that it’s who you think I am.”

“I think that you belong,” Lena whispers, laden with meaning. “I think that you belong somewhere.”

Kara cries against Lena’s hip, into the palms of her hands- maybe she does. Maybe she could.