#I have never cried over something quicker than that I don't think

[camellcat]

CLARA!!!!!!!!!!! oh my god clara clara my clara oswin oswald THIS IS NOT FAIR YOU CANNOT MAKE ME GENUINELY BURST INTO TEARS YOU CANNOT HAVE THAT POWER OVER ME!!! I don't even know what's happening I can't hear anything they're saying oh my god CLARA HIS CLARA HE REMEMBERS HER FUCKKKKK

[auroralwriting]

his little finger

spencer reid x fem!hothead!reader

part two here

spencer has you wrapped around his finger; you'd do anything he said without question. your team can't quite understand it. little do they know you and spencer have an unsaid.. thing.

warnings: reader has a hot temper? is that a warning? | words: 1k short but sweet!

You were known to have a confident personality. You never let anyone shake you, that's why the team loved you so much. You were the sole, beating heart of Aaron Hotchner's team; you never let them give up. Not only, but you were kind of a badass. You knew how to profile amazingly, and you could hold your own if an unsub got a little too rough.

Something else you were known for? A hot temper.

Okay, maybe it could go a little bad sometimes, but you truly meant well. Like that time you accidentally made a teenage boy cry. To be fair, he was a potential unsub. He actually was the unsub, so not all was a total failure.

Today was different for you. The coffee shop you frequented before work was closed due to issues with the electrical systems. That put a chip in your day. How was one to thrive without coffee? Next, you forgot your badge at home, making you late for work since you had to retrieve it to even get into the building. That put a dent in your day.

Derek was known to be a funny guy. Not the kind of funny guy you'd actually laugh at, but the kind who kind of pissed you off sometimes. Yeah, that kind. While he meant well at heart, it just royally pissed you off. You couldn't help that!

You leaned your elbows on the table, listening to the coffee pour into your cup. "Hello my little fox," Penelope greeted, her face frowning when she saw the look on yours. "What's wrong?"

"Bad day so far," You muttered. "Everything's just going wrong."

"It's only seven," Derek said as he walked in, smile on his face. "Come on, sugar. Go on and sit down at your desk. I know how you like your coffee." You thanked Derek quickly as you went to your desk. It was right next to Spencer.

Oh, Spencer. The boy who fell hard for you, who made you fall for him. Neither of you knew that, though, your crushes remaining secret still. "Y/n," Spencer frowned, "what's wrong?"

"It's alright, Spence," You forced a small, pathetic smile. "Just a bad morning."

Spencer gave you a half smile, "Positive attitudes actually give you a higher likelihood of having a better day by ten to thirty percent," Spencer rambled, "and that actually is the same for social connections, being a twenty to forty percent. You're on the right track."

You loved Spencer's rambles. They were adorable. "Thanks, Spence." You smiled.

A few minutes later, Morgan came to your desk with your coffee in hand. "For you, sugar." He grinned like the Cheshire Cat. You quickly took a generous sip.

It left your lips quicker than it entered. You spit it out into the trash can next to your dest, face turning sour at the taste. It was so bitter, so salty. "What the hell, Morgan?!" You cried out, "What is this?"

"Salt, sugar." He teased.

Your face turned hot, "How old are you, six?" His face slowly fell as you became angrier, "Genuinely, how old are you? Because last I checked, children don't have jobs."

"Hey," Derek tried to calm you down. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to actually upset you."

"Oh, of course you didn't!" You replied with sarcasm dripping from your lips. "You just don't get when people don't want you to make them feel worse!"

Derek's face fell into a frown. You didn't mean to hurt his feelings, but you couldn't stop your words. "Y/n," Spencer said firmly, "Sit down, now."

Before you could even think, you followed his command. The whole event caught Penelope, Emily, Rossi, and JJ's attention. JJ was quick to rush over, grabbing your coffee. "I'll get you the right one, it's okay." She comforted as Emily quickly lead Derek away. Rossi and Garcia decided to mind their own business, smart.

You groaned, head in your hands. Spencer was quick to kneel by you, taking your hands into his own. "Y/n," He said softly, "Take a deep breath. I know, I know." You followed his instructions, inhaling and holding it like he demonstrated, softly letting it out after. "Good job, sweetheart, do it again for me, okay?"

After a few more times, your face cooled off. You closed your eyes, sighing. "I didn't mean to hurt his feelings."

"I know, he knows, too." Spencer assured. "He knows he was out of line. You reacted the same way anyone would. It's alright."

Spencer raised his hand to your face, softly brushing your cheek with his thumb. JJ walked over, unsure if she was ruining.. something?

"Hey, I got you your coffee," She hesitantly spoke. You looked up, reaching out quickly.

"Thanks," You mumbled, taking a cautious sip. When you realized the taste was right, you took a bigger sip, sighing at the warmth flooding down your throat.

Spencer gave you a small smile, "See? It's okay now."

You nodded with a smile, thanking him softly. He went back to his desk, re-opening his report. You did the same, clicking your pen open.

"Okay, now what the hell was that?" Derek asked, the previous team members crowding around Rossi's desk.

"I felt like I was walking in on them," JJ mumbled awkwardly. "The tension was so strong I thought it was gonna slice me clean in half."

Emily smiled, "I bet they're in love or something, only love can make a person react like that. She would've bitten anyone else's head off." Everyone mumbled in agreement.

"I bet two weeks," Rossi said after a moment.

"Nah, knowing Reid, it's gotta be more like three." Derek shook his head.

Emily laughed, "I bet a week and a half. Y/n's too badass to not admit it first."

"I don't think they ever will until we do for them." Penelope sighed, knowing how stubborn both individuals were.

"I say one week, solid." JJ nodded. "I felt that tension."

Hotch's voice came out of nowhere, "Four days."

Everyone turned around, shocked. "Hotch, you sure about that?" Derek asked, a slight tease in his voice. "You know them."

"I do," He nodded, "Four days. You'll see I'm right."

[nottyoursbutmine]

afterglow | m.r

pairing: mattheo riddle x implied gryffindor reader (not really)

the one where mattheo regrets everything he said

afterglow - taylor swift

—

Mattheo is staring at the back of your head in class again and the same thing is replaying in his mind, your last conversation. It’s all he can ever think about since it happened.

I blew things out of proportion, now you're blue

Mattheo sat at the Slytherin table watching you eat breakfast a little too close next to Fred Weasley. He’s heard you repeatedly say you two are just friends but he sees the look in Freds’ eyes.

You laughed and he’s even more annoyed now, what was so funny? He watches as Fred wraps his arm around your shoulder, he bolts up. He doesn’t care about shoving Nott or Malfoy to the side in order to make his exit quicker. He walks up to the Gryffindor table and wastes no time pulling Freds’ arm off your shoulder and as far back as he can, making Fred gasp and shoot up in pain. Fred collects his things and runs out of the Great Hall.

Mattheo turns to you, as if this was your fault. He takes your hand, walking you out of the Great Hall as casually as he can. As soon as you’re out of view from your peers, he immediately pulls you into the nearest empty classroom. “Colloportus,” he says quickly to lock the doors.

“Okay, so now what did I do?” you say to Mattheo, sitting on top of one of the desks, ready for what was going to be said.

Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves

“What did you do? You’re joking right?” He looks at you like you’re missing the joke, “How do you think it makes me feel being known as the guy whose girlfriend is a slut?” He steps closer to you, making you close your legs. Typically Mattheo and you get fight but end up saying sorry in the same breath.“It’s embarrassing, having to watch you whore yourself out to all the boys in our year- scratch that, Weasley isn’t in our year.” He’s speaking to you like poison, something unknown.

You’re trying to hold back from yelling anything to him. Typically your words shoot to kill when you’re mad and you have a lot of regrets about that. However, he keeps going and his nagging voice is so annoying. “Yes! Of course I whore myself out to every guy because Merlin knows it’s more than 3 minutes with them!” Obviously you’re lying but it’s the heat of the moment and his words hurt.

He’s staring at you with such anger you’ve never seen before. He looks to the side of the locked room almost as if he was checking if anyone was around. He looks back into your eyes and you can’t find a single emotion. He takes a few steps back and says, “I wish I never asked you out.”

Your face falls, your heart is beating so fast and time freezes. You feel the tears, you can’t remember the last time you’ve cried but the next time will not be over a boy. You hurriedly collect all your things, “Well I wish I never met you,” you mumble, hopping off of the desk.

As you’re walking away he speaks out, “Don’t bother me again.” And with that you close the door and run away as fast as you can to your dorm.

-

Mattheo feels someone smack him on the back of the head, “You gotta stop with the staring,” Blaise said as he nods his head toward Snape. Mattheo realizes the class was almost over and his paper was completely empty. Not that this is any different, the guy never took notes.

Mattheo is biting his tongue, he’s not sure whether to turn to Blaise of all people for advice. He takes a deep breath, “I don't wanna lose her, I don't wanna lose this with her.”

“Then man up and do something because Merlin all of this staring and not showering thing is getting weird.” Blaise was right. He had to do something, he wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted to say to you, but he knew it had to be soon.

“You’re right I should go talk to her, after class is over, right?” Mattheo says unconvincingly, he’s nervous and honestly it’s not just because he’s on the verge of getting detention by Snape.

“I’m saying you should talk to her after you shower,” Blaise says while keeping his eyes on Snape, trying to listen to what he was saying.

-

And so, after class ends, Mattheo runs to his dorm so he can take a shower so then after he can see you. You. He was so focused on what to say he wasn’t exactly sure what he was going to say. Or do. You should be in the library right now studying with your lab partner like you planned, not that Mattheo was stalking you or anything.

He starts making his way to the library when he hears your laugh down the corridor. This was not how he planned, you were supposed to be at the library and he was supposed to apologize where you couldn’t yell at him. He basically memorized an entire script he created in the shower.

He sees you turn the corner with Fred, laughing over what? He still doesn’t know. He’s beyond angry and the script is completely out of his mind. “Y/L!” He yells your name. Making you and Fred jump at the sudden noise, not knowing he was there. The look on your face makes him realize he needs to calm down.

You turn to where the familiar voice called your name, “Mattheo?” You almost step towards him with caution as you remember his last words.

But it's not what I meant, I'm sorry that I hurt you, I don't wanna lose this with you

He begins walking towards you, trying to forget all about Weasley. He’s staring into your eyes when he stops at an arm lengths distance. “Can we talk in private?”

You’re not sure if it’s good or bad but you automatically agreed. You just needed to be around him again. Your last conversation with him cannot be your last conversation.

You let Mattheo grab your hand as you turn to Fred, “I’m sorry, I’ll see you later okay?” And with that you feel Mattheo hold on tighter and pull you away faster into an empty classroom.

He locks the door and places a silencio spell on the room, who knows what will happen. It’ll be past curfew by the time you two finish this, he knows it and you do too. He turns to you and you’re standing in the middle of the room with your arms crossed.

He takes a step towards you and you don’t move, he sees that as a win. “I’m so so sorry.” He takes a deep breath along with another step. “I miss you like crazy. You’re all I could think about. I’m sorry for everything I said. I was insecure and I should trust that your relationship with Fred is nothing more than a friendship.” He takes one last step and with this his toes are almost touching yours. There’s nothing sexual about this, this couldn’t be more innocent. Yet, he’s so close to you, you can barely breathe.

You look into his eyes, “I miss you like crazy too. I’m sorry if I ever made you doubt our relationship and I just need to say-”

He grabs you by the waist and pulls you closer, if that’s even possible. “Tell me that you're still mine. Tell me that we'll be just fine.” He’s staring into your eyes as he leans down with the biggest smile. The tips of your noses now touching and your face in his hands. “Even when I lose my mind.”

“I need to say-”

He wraps his right arm around your waist and places his left on the back of your neck. He interrupts you yet again with a kiss, hard and passionate, like he couldn’t wait for this moment. You wrap your arms around his torso in an attempt to push your chests closer. He slowly guides the kiss to a more gentle and slow moment. When you both pull away, he stares into your eyes and says, out of breath, “I need to say, I love you.”

You pull away with wide smile, “I love you.”

—

I don’t hate it but I also don’t like it. I would like to start doing more ttpd/1989 but lover lyrics are just speaking to me :(

also remember requests are always open!

[halloweenbitch2764]

hi! it’s me again haha

i have an angst thing for you 👀

basically billy n stu with a reader who’s aromatic [the aro who can’t fall in love romantically] where they want to reciprocate the two guys feelings but they can’t

i love angst ;-; you can choose whether it’s an angst with comfort or without comfort at the end <33

i greatly appreciate you !

Glad to see you! Hopefully I made this angsty enough for you <3

Billy & Stu with an Aromantic Reader

You had been friends with the boys for a good while, having moved into town at the start of freshman year

Now you were in college

Over time they had *inevitably* grown feelings for you

You didn't notice any attempts at flirting, assuming they were just being your friends

They grew frustrated with your obliviousness

Soon you'd start receiving things like flowers, your favorite candy, stuffed animals, etc.

Classic romance-y shit

That's when it started to feel off

At the same time they became handsy

They never passed any boundaries but suddenly they seemed more touchy

Billy's hand on your waist, Stu's hand on your thigh

You didn't know what to do about it

Being aromantic had ruined friendships in the past when the other party would gain romantic feelings you couldn't return

You didn't want to lose them

You'd move away from their touches and make some excuse as to why you couldn't accept their gifts

You really didn't want to lose their friendship

You hated that you couldn't return it

They were great people (you hadn't known they were Ghostface during highschool)

It always lingered in the back of your mind

You almost felt broken

Why couldn't you feel romantic feelings?

YOU were the reason they'd leave you

It ate away at you and you started to distance from them

They couldn't end the friendship if you just left

You'd avoid where you knew they'd be, taking new routes just to avoid them

You blocked their numbers so they couldn't get ahold of you

It started to consume you

Something was wrong with you. People don't just not feel romantic feelings. Everyone does!

You had suffered with it your whole life

People weren't willing to believe you didn't feel romantic feelings and assumed you were lying to avoid going out with them

They'd get angry and bitter and then leave you

You walked down the hall towards your dorm when you saw them waiting outside your room

Your eyes widened and you turned on your heel to leave

"Hey Y/N!" Billy called

You kept your head down and kept walking at a quicker pace

Stu easily reached you and grabbed your shoulder as Billy soon caught up

"What?!" You asked angrily, tears welling up in your eyes

You weren't angry at them

"What do you mean what? You've been avoiding us like the plague!" Billy sounded irritated and exasperated

Stu looked like the felt the same, though more upset than anything

"Fine. You know what. You're going to leave me anyways. I don't want to date either of you. I can't actually!"

They looked confused at your outburst

"What do you mean, can't?" Stu questioned

"I don't feel romantic feelings. I don't get butterflies or whatever people talk about. I don't get all lovesick and shit. I guess I'm broken or some shit!" A couple tears escaped down your cheeks

Billy and Stu looked at each other

"Why would we leave because of that?"

"Everyone leaves when I don't return their feelings. Every fucking time." You sounded worn down

You were

"Well you're not broken. In fact I remember in highschool I talked to someone who said the same thing. Called themselves aromantic. Apparently it's more common than you think." Stu explained

You were confused

You had never met someone who was like you

You had always been the weird one, the odd one out

"Really?" Your voice sounded desperate with a pinch of hope

He nodded and Billy smiled

"We wouldn't leave you over something like that. You're still our best friend." Billy pulled you into a hug before Stu hugged you as well

You cried, your body not knowing how to react to such acceptance

"Why don't we go get ice cream? The place down the street is awesome from what I've heard." Stu said

So off to get ice cream you all went

[liminal-storage]

V- The Hierophant

Prompt: Morsel

Characters: Soren Lessard, Auriga Marlowe.

Content Warnings: Blood, descriptions of violence.

He shouldn't be here.

The wind howls like the cries of a dying beast which he had failed to find. The cold cuts deep, reaching into every crevice it can to chap and buffet. A particularly brutal gust finds purchase between the sides of two buildings and forces its way through in a piercing whistle. Passersby are, fortunately, few and far between. This bone-deep and cruel wind chill promises an overnight blizzard and hurries them on their way.

But he can smell them, the warmth of them. The heat of pulsing blood pumping through cold-constricted vessels to keep their skin flushed and supple.

He should not be here.

He knows he won't make it back out of Ishgard at this rate. He should never have arrived in the first place. A failed hunt left him wanting, and it has been days since he last fed. If luck holds, he can make it to the Forgotten Knight and shut himself up in a room for the night. It will mean a long, painful knight of gnawing hunger, but the hunger won't kill him.

Once he's settled and the tavern beds down in silence, he can emerge and search for someone to sate this thirst so potent that it makes his teeth ache. Perhaps he will wait for the lamplighter to make his nightly rounds, he thinks, but then the wind kicks up more sharply, and he thinks there will be no lamplighter tonight.

He won't make it as far as the tavern.

Snow begins to swirl in dizzying patterns around him as he takes a wrong turn. The city-state's streets aren't as familiar to him in his haggard state as they would be on a regular day. But he'll wait until the streets are clear, try a door, perhaps. He refuses to take a Brumeling. It might be quicker and easier than this half-baked attempt at hunting, but it would be too obvious. Others would see.

Besides, last he heard, someone else was already snacking in the Brume almost every night, causing major problems and leaving a mess. They'll know to watch for a creature like him.

The street finally empties.

Long-nailed hands scrabble for the nearest handle and mercifully, it turns without issue. The interior of the building is dark, but he can smell someone upstairs. His feet fall upon the floor without noise, and he moves towards the stairs where he can see a light.

Someone nearly bumps into him on the steps. An older woman, by the look of it. She must have just finished bundling herself up against the cold. He can smell the faint smoke of a fireplace clinging to her scarf, the sweet aroma of some sort of perfumed oils upon her skin. Her heart thumps at a moderate pace, at ease and content.

"Oh, pardon me!"

She brushes past him, and he nearly stumbles to lunge after her. It will be so easy to rip away the scarf and let his teeth slide into warm, fragrant flesh. He's not sure he can stop himself from ripping her open and lapping up every last drop.

The streets shall wake in an uproar in the morning, some poor soul tasked with mopping up the remnants of a horror show. He will leave pieces of her painted upon the walls, but this hunger will be sated.

He gets as far as fingers brushing against knitted wool before another voice, another heartbeat stops him.

"It's quite late. I don't believe you have an appointment." Strangely, her tone seems playful.

For only a moment, his hunger falters.

The scent of her overwhelms anything else. There's something lush and creamy at her wrists, vanilla and honey. It's all sugar and sweet at first, but as the woman steps closer he catches scents of a darker note. The faint bite of sour red cherries, an edge of poppy and vetiver. A whisper of musk that he can smell as the blood rushes through her carotid arteries. It clings to the skin of her throat, pools in the hollows of her collarbones.

There's something so painfully familiar about it.

The scent of blood, heady and delicious, joins her perfume. It runs down her wrist, drips over her fingertips as she holds a hand out as if to beckon him in. The hunger returns, but he can only stare at her in disbelief.

"Ari?"

[vulpeskorsak]

Day 31 of Whumptober 2024: Falling

No. 31: ASKING FOR HELP Therapy | Making Amends | “I’m alive, I’m just not well.” (Elliot Lee, Alive, Not Well.)

AO3 got banned in my country and VPNs have not been working well on my PC lately, so I am not going to post these there for now. But hopefully I can do that at some point.

Alva is a young biology teacher sent to work in a small town who ends up stranded on a strange island with his older fatherly colleague Sean after a fishing trip gone wrong.

This is a story that takes place the morning after Day 29.

--------------

Falling

Alva turns in his deep dreamless sleep and his body finds out that the bed it is in is much narrower than what it is used to by falling off it.

As he feels the solid surface underneath him shift to air, he cries out instinctively in a panic, thinking he is about to drown. Instead, his body just hits the floor and he opens his eyes. His heart is racing, threatening to break through the rib cage.

He whimpers as he sits up leaning back against the bed with his legs spread out on the floor and tries taking deep breaths.

His mind clears quicker than his body can calm down. He does not like where this might be going.

"This better not become a regular thing... I would hate to wake up like this every day," he thinks.

Alva hears rapidly approaching footsteps from the outside. Fingers squeeze into the window crack he left before bed and slide it completely open. His colleague (and good friend) Sean leans inside with a look of worry written all over his face.

"What happened?! Are you alive, kid?"

His words are accompanied by mildly labored breathing and his face is a little red.

"I'm alive, I'm just not well," Alva confesses. "I fell and I thought I was going to drown... Like, I was still on that fucking boat."

"I'm sorry…"

Alva tries to get up but his legs are still shaking.

"Could you… help me get up, please?"

When he looks up Sean is not there. His heart sinks for a moment before he puts two and two together, that coming in through the window is neither easy, nor conventional. He waits, focusing on steadying his breathing, his body still reeling from the shock of the perceived near-death.

Sean opens the door and approaches him after a while putting his hand on Alva's shoulder. He is frowning and does not look him in the eyes.

"I am sorry I took you on that boat trip, kid," he sighs.

Sean has never brought it up during the 8 days out at sea. Neither did Alva, since he could not blame the man for a sudden storm, so why rub salt into the wounds? Sean has been so jolly most of this time, he thought it also did not bother him.

"No, it's not your fault. You couldn't have known." Alva reassures him as he is helped up onto the bed. "Don't worry about it. I do not blame you in the slightest, Sean."

"I understand. But it still sucks to be the accidental cause of all our troubles... even if I am not exactly to blame."

Sean sighs again combing through his white beard with his fingers. He looks so tired, suddenly. Nothing like his usual self.

"L-let's go have breakfast." Alva suggests, unsure how else to help him. "Maybe we can find something tasty to cheer ourselves up in the kitchen?"

"I've already eaten…" Sean confesses sheepishly, but then his eyes light up and he smiles again. "But I've never said no to a second breakfast!"

[ccieatchildren]

Whumpay 23 Day 4: Passing Out From Pain + Winged

TW: Wing Removal

Feathers slowly drifted down to the ground, covering the shiny wood flooring. Whumpee grunted as Whumper plucked out each one. 

“Do you understand why I’m doing this?” Whumper leaned down to press a kiss to the top of his head. 

“Yes, master. So I can’t fly away from you.” He tried to keep himself still, not wanting to anger the man.

“Correct,” he plucked another feather, “this pain will be good for you. It’ll teach you how to be stronger.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.” Whumpee may have not been here long, but he was a quick learner. He would much rather let go of his pride if it meant he received less pain. Pleasing Whumper also came with its perks. He had a place to stay, a soft bed, warm food, and no need to worry about money. Though, having to constantly be on his toes, share his bed with someone, eat with someone’s unyielding stare on him, and deal with torture when the other was in a mood, made him think it wasn’t very worth it.

“This is very tedious, don't you agree, pet?” Whumpee nodded absentmindedly, still pondering his situation here. “I think a permanent solution would be much better,” He moved his fingers into Whumpee’s hair, slowly petting him. “What do you think?”

“Whatever you think is best, master. You know much more than I do.” He closed his eyes, focussing only on the fingers running through his hair. 

“It’s good that you know your place, Whumpee. It would be frustrating to have to punish you constantly.” Whumper moved to grab something from behind him, one hand still in Whumpee’s hair. “For this, I’ll make things much easier for the both of us, understand dear?” The hand in his hair moved to sit on his shoulder.

“Yes, sir.”

“Very good.” 

A shrill scream pierced the air of the room as Whumper made the first incision. Blood poured from the junction of his wings and his back, staining the floor.

“Shhhh,” Whumper’s grip was firm on his shoulder, and no matter how much Whumpee struggled, he could not get out of the man’s grip. 

“PLEASE! Please! Stop! It hurts!” Whumper paid his cries no heed, continuing his work in separating his wings from his body.

“I thought you said you understood, pet.” The knife cut another sinew of muscle off the man’s back, “there is no reason for you to keep these. They are only a nuisance for the both of us.” There was another scream as the blade moved forward again. “Now, be good and sit still, I don’t want you ruining this.”

Whumpee flailed again, trying to hit the tool from the man’s grasp. Moving the handle of the knife down, Whumper hoped to keep it out of Whumpee’s range, but it only put it in the direct range of the winged man’s movement. 

The knife was slapped away, dragging a deep line on his back. It created a diagonal from the middle of where his wing met his skin to half’s foot under his right wing.

“You ungrateful wench!” He hit the back of Whumpee’s head in a fit of rage, increasing Whumpee’s wooziness. “I was trying to make it as clean as possible,” there was a squelch as Whumper pulled the blade out from its grove, “but you must make things so difficult.” Whumpee whimpered, now keeping quiet. 

The quick change from the calm “caring” man to the enraged annoyed kidnapper gave Whumpee whiplash, but it was a good reminder of who he was really with. No matter how much he let himself be walked over or submitted, Whumpee was never safe, he could not crack the code that was Whumper.

Whumper continued his previous ministrations, however, now he was quicker and less careful with his cuts. In his uncaring attitude, he nicked the man under him many times. Whumpee had tried to be quiet, but as time moved on, and the pain increased, he couldn’t shove his screams back down his throat.

As the blade sliced through the flesh over and over, the hall was filled with the screeches and moans of a man in pain, and the floor was flooded with the red of a wound left open for too long.

“We’re almost done with this one,” Whumper leaned closer, “I do not want the same trouble with the next one. Understand?”

Whumpee didn’t say anything, head lolling to the side, unable to keep himself up. The agony was too great, he was dizzy and couldn’t focus on anything but the feeling of his wing peeling away from his back.

“Hmph, very well. For your sake I’ll take that as a yes.” Giving his shoulder one last hard squeeze, Whumper made the final cut through the main nerve.

Whumpee let out one last earth-shattering scream before slumping over. He couldn’t feel anything on his left side anymore and yet, at the same time, it hurt more than anything ever had before. He could barely describe it, it was like something had decided to claw a hole in his back, and wasn’t stopping, which, he supposed, was partly true. 

He lifted his arm, trying to reach a shaking hand over to touch his back, but it quickly fell limp to his side like the rest of him. Whumpee collapsed, folding into himself. His eyes closed and he let the sweet escape of darkness take over him. 

Whumper pulled him back up, supporting body himself. He aimed the knife to the other wing, “well I supposed this will make things easier for the next one.” 

[rosenongrata]

⋯ 𓆩♡𓆪 A/N. I ALMOST CRIED OVER THIS LOLOL :(... pls appreciate Thems™... i love them very much...wahhhhh

This morning is particularly foggy today, the Iudex notes while staring out the window. It isn't quite cold enough to frost the glass, but the fog is certainly thick enough that it obscures much of the cityscape. His lilac, slitted eyes stare back down at his crisp cup of water—this one right from Mondstadt. He can barely detect a sweet fragrance from it, giving him a little more energy than he thinks he needs. Is there sugar in here? How strange…

While pondering the genuine nature of this water, Lepus slinks into the kitchen. With silent steps, they walk up behind him where he sits at the small polished table. One hand props his head up as the other holds the pristine glass cup. With golden eyes running up and down his form, they notice the rather taut muscles in his bare back.

He must be so stressed, the bunny thinks before trotting up to him and looping their arms around his neck. While they nuzzle the fluff of his unbrushed hair, he visibly jolts when touched. He's quick to relax, at least, allowing his small lover to continue stuffing their face in his white locks.

Turning to the side, his legs shifting to rest over the side of the polished wooden chair, he notices something…peculiar.

…Are they wearing his shirt?

He blushes at the very thought. When it dawns on him that it is, in fact, his shirt from last night, his whole face turns pink.

Lepus notices this, of course, they can almost feel the heat coming from him. While they don't tease him about it, they plant a sweet, chaste kiss on his burning cheek. With laden eyes, they watch him carefully. His expression proceeds to turn from embarrassed to flustered and surprised. He clears his throat several times, giving the small bunny ample time to speak first,

"Your shoulders are so tight… Will you let me give you a massage?" Their hands drag from looping around his neck to rest on his very tight shoulders, their thumbs idly rubbing his warm skin. "It'll help, I promise." They whisper, their voice only half-unintentionally soft from sleepiness.

"I—" He sputters, losing his normal cool, collected composure. It seems to happen too often around them. "…Go ahead." He gives in, his voice small as he turns back around to allow them better access to his back.

As his eyes flutter shut, he immediately hisses at the pain that shoots through his body from the massage. He never realized he was ever quite this tense and knotted. If he had to be honest, he thought he was totally fine.

…It turns out he deluded himself into believing that.

"I'm sorry it hurts, but your shoulders are very knotted and taut. You should try meditation on your breaks." They recommend, voice sweet as the water he was drinking earlier. "Or… At least let me give you massages regularly."

"Alright, I will…think about it—ACK!" He yelps in pain and surprise, his deep voice cracking as his shoulders tighten. "I did not think a simple massage could be quite this painful…" He sighs, a cool feeling running down his body like a waterfall—relaxation following shortly after.

"It happens when you don't take care of yourself, Neuvi." They inform, their smile thin with worry. "I know you have a busy and tough life, but your poor body needs good treatment like everyone else."

"You…you are right." He shakes his head before pivoting his neck to the side to glance at them. Seeing them smile makes him smile.

"By the way… Braid your hair before you sleep." They advise, eyes pinching closer together with their smile when their gazes meet.

"…Why?" He blinks, losing his sweet smile quicker than Lepus' appreciates.

"It lessens the likelihood of nasty knots and matting in your pretty, fluffy hair!" They grin.

He chuckles, his smile returning to his pale features.

"You quite like my hair, hm?"

"Yes. It'd be a shame to cut it all off because someone didn't take care of it."

"Ah…" He murmurs, "You are right, as in all matters of the body…hair included."

"Hehe," They snicker before pressing sugary sweet kisses to his shoulders, and soon, his neck. "You're so much happier than you let on…"

"Hmm…" He hums, "Only because of you, Mon Chéri."

"Huh?! Me?! N-No… That's…that's not quite right."

"Why wouldn't it be?" He retorts.

"Uhm… Because I'm me…?"

"Do not put yourself down, Lepus." He rises to his full height, towering over his tiny lover. His hands move to their face, thumbs brushing along the fullness of their cheeks. "You are a shimmering ray of sunshine on a cloudy day."

Their eyes immediately begin to water, causing him a big fright. He hushes them with a slender finger to their lips, and his own expression dampens. He didn't mean to make them cry, they're the last person he'd ever desire to hurt.

"I… It's been a long time since I've heard anyone tell me something like that…" They sniffle as he brushes away their tears.

"Truly?" He sighs, "What a shame… You are a wonderful person, Lepus, your heart is made of gold. Perhaps something even more beautiful and rarer." He smiles down at them, hands dancing their way to their bunny ears to pet them. It helps them relax in times like these, or so they've told him.

Their face turns bright pink while their golden gaze glues to the floor.

"Hah, how cute…" He murmurs.

With swift arms, he hoists them up into the air—snug against his chest as he carries them. He sighs happily, smiling at them with nothing short of pure joy.

"You make me truly happy, Lepus." He whispers, craning his head down to brush his lips against their plush cheek. "Never forget that."

"And never forget, that no matter the time of day after you leave this world, I will watch the skies for your return."

[iriswestallenn]

The final season of Ted Lasso wasn't good

Long Post Warning

In my opinion of course, it was just wasn't very good and the finale was bad.

They didn't know what to do with Keeley. Her friend, Shandy, didn't add anything. Her relationship with Jack was stupid. Jack fucking with Keeley's business didn't matter because it was resolved in one episode thanks to Rebecca. Then they decided to make the love triangle a thing again. We'll come back to that later.

Nate lmao you can forgive people. They don't need to bend the knee or buy you flowers for you to forgive them or to prove they are worthy of forgiveness. All they need to do is show they've changed, grown, and learned from their mistakes. The problem with Nate is not that they ALL forgave his slimy ass. The problem is we never see the change. He cries to his dad, he gets a gf, he realizes Rupert is an asshole. We spend no time with Nate being worthy of forgiveness to THE RICHMOND TEAM. He gets the girl and he's cured of his asshole-ness. The girl in question btw? Bland. No personality, we don't know why they like each other. The end.

Sam and Zava. Nonsense. Colin's storyline was cool. I like that he didn't want to be an out player because he didn't want to be the spokesperson for that or for that to be his main identity. A good amount of time was spent on that story and I liked it (see I can like things) but the same can't be said for Sam and Zava. They gave Sam a racism storyline which resulted in his restaurant getting vandalized and the end. No, wait, I'm sorry! Sam is gonna keep shattered glass in the restaurant as a reminder of the criminal act because... believe??? Never mind that could injure the guests, we're an inspirational show people we gotta keep inspiring! All Zava did was get Jamie to want to be better. That's it. So much of Zava should have been cut, oh my god.

Ted. Who? Barely in the final season. Apparently has had panic attacks since his father passed away and his mom knew and just ignored them? Episode 3 (I think) Ted reached for alcohol and we just skated past that. I have no idea how Ted is doing lmao if he's "obviously" doing well, I couldn't tell you how he got there. We got so many fucking shots of his therapist during the finale. More than we did the entirety of season 3. Oh well I guess hope he's happier back home

Maybe I'm being dramatic but Beard and his gfs relationship came off super toxic but they're married now so who cares I guess

Rebecca spent the whole show obsessed with Rupert and when we finally got away from that, surprise! She wants kids. Okay... sure. It's not easy to get over a man you loved who treated you like shit and who you felt robbed you of so many years. I'm not saying she should have gotten over it quicker. I just feel disappointed this was her whole story. There could have been so much more for Rebecca but instead all we got was her getting back at her ex and finding a new man on a boat and kids and blah blah blah

Roy and Jamie. My favorite part of the season. Jamie's arc was excellent and the actor did a fantastic job. Brett Goldstein is also great and has been at this acting/writing thing since 2005! I am so happy he finally got this huge show. Roy is such a cool fucking character. Too bad they went to shit in ONE EPISODE. Okay, I'm being a bit dramatic, I'm glad Roy went to therapy in the end there but that bar scene irritated me. - Actually we fucked last month. - Well that video was sent to me! What the fuck??? Gross gross gross. They put Keeley back in the love triangle and then gave no real resolution? She chose herself? Okay. Can we get a scene of her realizing both these dudes need to work on themselves and she doesn't want either of them ever again or? No? We're just gonna shut the door? Oh okay.

Overall, I'm just disappointed. I know no one will read this but Ted Lasso was a comfort show for me at one point. It premiered in 2020 when we all needed something wholesome and funny. Shame it couldn't stick the landing for me.

[emilyyyy-08]

Goodbye Attack on Titan

(sorry for the long post!)

I finally watched the dub for the final episode today, concluding my Attack on Titan journey. This show has been dear to me ever since I started the first episode and I formed great emotional attachment to all the characters quicker than any other show I've seen.

I started watching around maybe two years ago, starting on just my iPad screen. I watched every episode on that iPad until I hit the middle of season three and realized, "hey, this show is getting really intense, I need to watch it on the TV." And that started those days where I would stay in my living room and watch as much as I possibly could until my Dad got home. I eventually moved down to my basement and watched as much as I could since it was such an addicting show.

I started the fourth season, lights off, warm blankets, snacks, almost every other day. I couldn't get enough of the show, the characters, the story, and the action. One day I realized that I watched every episode in season four except for the first special. I decided to save that for the next day and I had no regrets. I will always remember seeing that episode for the first time and having intense goosebumps whenever something dramatic happened. I will never forget when I cried for 10 minutes straight over Hange's death and still being sad about it for a while (it still hurts).

I finished everything. I just had to wait for the final episode. But, I just had to have someone to talk to about this show with. So, I got my mom hooked on the show. This started my second watch of the whole show, but in dub. It started out rough, she didn't enjoy it as much until the battle of trost arc. After that, she was hooked on the show like me.

I gave her the first watch experience I never got to have, on the big screen. We watched every episode and almost every ova together until we had to wait for the first special to get dubbed. The wait was painful, but it finally came. The day the final episode was released for the sub version, me and my mom decided to just watch it then since we needed to see the ending. We turned off the lights, got comfortable, cried, and cried, and cried some more. We never slept so well after that.

And that makes it to today. We had the exact same setup as always. Lights off, blankets, snacks, and of course, we cried. We sat down and watched the entire episode with the cast we quickly grew to love. It was tough letting go for her, and it was even harder for me to let go of the characters I grew deep connections with.

This show made me realize, the more you get connected to the characters, the harder it is to let go. And I don't think I'll ever be able to let go. This show did not just make me realize that I can cry for hours over fictional characters, but it made me realize how quickly stories can change without you realizing it.

Goodbye Attack on Titan.

Dedicate your heart.

[biaswreckingfics]

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#5

Blurred Lines: Part 9

Pairing: Kim Sunwoo x Female Reader

Genre: Fuckboy AU, Roommate AU, Acquaintances to Lovers AU

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: language

Previous Chapter

For the next week, you avoid Sunwoo like the plague. Once you realized that your distraction attempt did absolutely nothing to squash your apparent growing feelings for the man, you could've cried. Ever since your revelation, you've been thinking about him non-stop and nearly driving yourself crazy. It's like he carved out a little space in your brain and made himself at home. His scent is permanently etched into your nose, and those stupid pouty lips are engraved in your mind.

You were terrified to see him the next morning after you pleasured yourself to thoughts of him. He had opened his mouth to say something to you, but you were out the door before he could get more than a couple of syllables out. The thought that he could've heard you and was going to tease you made you want to disappear quicker than ice cream on a scorching hot day. However, to say you didn't touch yourself again would be a bold-faced lie. You just made sure you were quieter than the first time.

You have no idea what you're going to do about your situation. You can't keep running and hiding from him forever. He'll eventually call you out on it, but also… you just didn't want to anymore. A huge part of you wants to get caught. You want to come clean and tell him your thoughts and feelings, but you already know he doesn't feel the same. He's a flirt, and he's already told one person that he doesn't want a relationship right now.

A sigh of frustration is ripped out of you as you approach the apartment. You eye the building like it's going to give you some clue about what to expect when you walk into your home. Will Sunwoo be there? Is he going to attempt to talk to you for the 20th time? Will he ask you why you've been so skittish lately?

You attempt to collect yourself as you reach your apartment door and unlock it. Everything is fine. Everything is cool. If Sunwoo is home, maybe it's time you finally face the music. Maybe the two of you can sit down and talk…figure out if there's something between you or not.

Releasing the breath you didn't realize you were holding, you push open the door, only to be greeted with one of the last sights you wanted to see.

Minjee is here.

You stare blankly at the two figures on the couch. Minjee is pressed up against Sunwoo with her arms wrapped around one of his. One of her hands rests on top of his muscular thigh, and she is looking up at him adoringly until she realizes they're no longer alone. You don't even notice you're digging your nails into your palms until you feel the stinging pain that alerts you to how tight your fists are clenched. Forcing yourself to relax, you keep the blank expression on your face as you shut the apartment door, but it does nothing to stop the pain you feel in your chest.

Disappointment fills you, but you should've expected this. You knew about his complicated relationship with Minjee. You also knew he wasn't interested in you as more than a friend. Every sign pointed to it going this way. Yet you allowed yourself to hope for a different outcome, anyways.

Sunwoo's face brightens when he sees you. A twinkle enters his eyes, and his lips stretch over his teeth in a wide smile, wiping away the previous dull look that rested there. However, you refuse to let that smile do anything for you. It feels like any forward progress you made disappeared the second Minjee showed back up.

"Hey! You're finally home!" Sunwoo quickly attempts to pull you into a conversation. His eager tone should please you, but you can't get past the image of them being together. You mumble a "yeah", not willing to offer him much more. That doesn't mean he gives up, though.

"Come hang out with us!" He tries again. 

Minjee's glare warms up your skin, and you know in her head, she's throwing insult after insult at you. She's probably getting ready to curse the gods if you agree to join whatever it is they're doing. Luckily for her, you have absolutely zero desire to hang out with the two of them.

"No, thanks," you quickly decline. What you miss is Sunwoo's expression falling from his face. You miss the way he so obviously wants you to join them and maybe even save him from the girl latched onto his arm.

You force your feet to move past them, hastily dropping your bag by your bedroom door and going straight to the kitchen. You begin to rifle through the cupboards in search of snacks but keep coming up empty. You realize your eyes aren't really seeing anything, or maybe it's just that your brain isn't computing anything at the moment. It's too busy doing somersaults inside your skull.

Footsteps penetrate the brain fog in your mind, and you glance over as Minjee enters the kitchen. Attempting to not roll your eyes out of your head, you look back into the cupboard to see that your snacks are directly in front of your face. You grab the bag and shut the cupboard as Minjee comes to a stop in front of you.

You stare at her as she smugly looks you over, and you immediately feel all of your energy seep from your body. "Whatever it is, Minjee, I don't want to hear it."

"I know you like him."

Against your will, you freeze in place. You attempt to keep your face neutral, but the task is becoming increasingly harder. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me. It's not cute," she snobbishly says, her perfectly manicured brows scrunching in irritation. "I know you like Sunwoo."

She seems so confident in your feelings that you see no point in trying to deny them. That doesn't mean you're going to confirm anything for her either. Making a move to walk away, you turn and throw a "whatever" over your shoulder. 

A tight grip latches onto your arm, and you have to keep yourself from stumbling as she yanks you back around, forcing you to look at her. A sneer sits on her face, but it's nothing compared to the anger simmering inside of you. Just when you think you can no longer be surprised by her audacity, she goes and ups it a level.

"No, it's not whatever because he's mine," she grinds out. "So, stop acting innocent and thinking you're all special because you'll never have a chance with him."

"First of all," you start while grabbing her wrist and ripping her hand off of you. "Don't you ever touch me again. Secondly, he's not yours, so quit acting like you have a claim on him. You're nothing more than a fucktoy to him and everyone else."

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248 notes - Posted May 12, 2022

#4

Blurred Lines: Part 3

Pairing: Kim Sunwoo x Female Reader

Genre: Acquaintances to Lovers, Roommate Au, Fuckboy AU

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: reader overhears Sunwoo having sex, language

Previous Chapter

The cycle you and Sunwoo fall into repeats itself. He brings a random girl over to have sex, the two of you binge-watch your TV show, Minjee comes over to have sex, and then you hang out with your friend group. It's like a neverending revolving door of girls and friends, and you have no idea how you ended up on this rollercoaster of a ride. A part of you feels like you're getting whiplash whenever you come home because you never know what to expect. Will Sunwoo be there by himself? Will Minjee be there? Some random girl? It's always a surprise for you.

Over the past couple of weeks, you've seen two different sides to Sunwoo. When he's with the other girls, he's indifferent, careless, and only focused on their bodies. He's, kind of, a dick. When he's with you, it's almost like he lets his guard down, like he lets his player image melt away. He's caring, considerate, and there's, almost, a childlike excitement to him. He lets himself not worry about how others are going to see him.

The entire thing makes you confused. You're trying to figure out who he's putting on a show for and why. Is he really this kind boy who feels the need to act a certain way in front of others? Or is he putting on a show for you because he's worried you'll kick him to the curb? You hope it's the former because you've come to thoroughly enjoy his presence when it's just the two of you.

Minjee has been the worst part of him staying with you. She randomly drops by whenever she feels like it - like they're actually dating - and she makes her hate for you clear. Before, you could stay out of her way and forget she even existed. Out of sight, out of mind. Now, it seems like you see her every time you turn around.

The snide comments she makes to you as you pass her in the kitchen are enough to get under your skin. The need she feels to comment on your appearance or your clothes is beyond you. It's almost like she thinks if she can say the right thing, she can get you to move out. Like she doesn't understand that it's your apartment, or she just doesn't care.

There have been multiple times where you've overheard her making comments to Sunwoo about him staying with you. She doesn't think it's normal that he's sleeping in the same apartment as some random girl. She’s even made several comments about him moving in with her instead like she's not some random girl herself. Sunwoo always brushes off the comments or changes the subject which makes you laugh. It's exactly what he gets for having a carousel of girls.

A part of you likes the idea of him moving in with her because then you would no longer have to see her. You could push the horrible memory and imagery of Minjee out of your mind. Another part of you, though - a part you'll never admit to - hates the thought of it because you've grown to like having Sunwoo around. It's nice to have someone home with you sometimes, even if he's not always alone.

The apartment door shuts with a slam, pulling you from your thoughts. You blink a few times as you stare down at the open textbook in front of you. The words are a little blurry for a moment until you focus your eyes. How long have you been sitting here thinking about Sunwoo and his harem of girls?

A laugh echoes throughout the apartment, and you roll your eyes when you recognize it as Minjee. Great. Another night of this shit… These are the nights where you're almost ready to pay Sunwoo to move in with her.

A part of you swears you could strangle Hyunjae for telling Minjee where you live. The man is lucky you haven't seen him since you found out it was him who gave her Sunwoo's new address. Also, why can't they ever go to her place? Why do they always have to come here?

Minjee's laugh continues. You hear Sunwoo trying to shush her, but he might as well be talking to a deaf hyena. It's almost like him trying to get her to be quiet spurs her on even more. Her laugh becomes slightly higher and more obnoxious, or maybe your impatience with her is just finally getting to you.

You grab your headphones that are conveniently placed next to you on your desk from the last time and plug them into your phone. You immediately pull up a random playlist and blast it into your ears because you know exactly what comes next. All they do is have sex, and you're tired of listening to it. They never talk or just hang out. She probably doesn't even know anything about Sunwoo. There's no substance to whatever it is they have. No matter how hard Minjee tries to force it.

Looking back down at your textbook, you try to focus your mind on studying, but in between the beats and melodies of the song you're listening to, something else reaches your ears.

"Oh, my god!"

You freeze in your chair as the words rattle around in your brain before quickly reaching up and attempting to adjust your headphones. In the meantime, more moaned words greet your ears.

"Fuck, Sunwoo, baby, you feel so good!"

You feel your body deflate as you try to move your headphones in a way that'll cancel out the sounds around you. Irritation burns within as you find yourself in yet another awkward situation. Usually, Minjee is annoyingly loud, but your headphones have always been able to drown out her irritating sounds. This time, however, it's almost like your headphones aren't even working anymore.

Pulling the headphones out of your ear, you attempt to hum along with the song that’s playing as you examine the small electronic pieces. Your first thought is that they somehow broke, but they look perfectly fine to you.

"Yes, Sunwoo! Right there!"

Minjee's screams - and yes, that's what they are - pierce your ears, and you aggressively shove your headphones back into your eardrums. You turn the music up a little louder, but the volume hurts your ears, and you have to debate if going deaf is worth not having to listen to Minjee being obnoxiously loud.

A part of you is almost afraid that your neighbors are going to call the police in fear that someone's being murdered in your apartment. You glance over at Sunwoo's wall and wonder if you should bang on it and tell them to be quiet. Then again, the extreme smug satisfaction that you imagine would be present on Minjee's face keeps you glued to your seat.

It's almost like she's being loud on purpose. Like she wants you to know what she and Sunwoo are doing and that she's the one sleeping with him, not you. Though, you wonder if she knows she's not the only one sleeping with him. Maybe she wouldn't be acting so pathetic right now if she did. Besides, you've never even shown interest in Sunwoo. You don't have feelings for him, so she can keep playing her games with herself.

The next afternoon, you meet up with Sophia in your usual spot in the quad. The warm sun has her leaning back against the table with her face tipped up to the sky. She looks like she's attempting to soak up as much Vitamin D as possible. You follow her pose and sit down in the seat next to her, eyes falling closed when the warmth hits your face. You could use a boost of sunshine yourself.

"Hello, my lovely friend."

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267 notes - Posted January 23, 2022

#3

I Still Love You...

Pairing: Byun Baekhyun x Female Reader

Genre: Angst, Exes to Lovers AU

Word Count: 6.8k

Warnings: pure pain awaits you 😅😅 good luck?

Summary: At the time, it seemed like the smartest decision when you and Baekhyun broke up. You deeply loved each other, but priorities and life were against you, and being together became too hard.

Coming face-to-face with him half a year later, reveals how deep your feelings still are for him, and you're terrified that you'll never be able to move on from him... or that you'll even want to in the end.

Notes: *inspired by this drabble* *italicized parts are flashbacks* *listen to Baekhyun's song Love Again to suffer even more* *Lastly, Happy birthday, Baek!!*

Laughter fills the air as your group of friends tease each other. Focusing mostly on the elusive host of the quickly planned get-together you're attending, Yixing smiles good-naturedly as he willingly takes the jokes being thrown his way. An overwhelming sense of happiness floods you as you watch them all. This is how things should be. You and the people you love relaxing and enjoying life together. 

It's been way too long since this group of people has been together like this. Where you've all managed to get away from work and school, and Yixing was able to take time off and fly back to you guys. With Yixing being in a different country, it's hard to come across moments like this, so you cherish them and hold onto them for dear life.

There's just one integral piece of your community missing. If you have to guess, he's probably going to show up any second. Baekhyun never misses it when Yixing comes to town. No matter how busy he is.

Your heart flutters at the thought of seeing your ex again. Of seeing his bright smile grace his face as he laughs at something one of you says. You take a calming breath as you think about Baekhyun and remember that things are different now. That beautiful smile he always sent your way was no longer yours to receive. That reminder alone nearly breaks your heart all over again.

Yixing's laughter greets your ears again, and you pull yourself out of your thoughts to study his face. The pure joy you see on it helps you make a decision you didn't realize you were contemplating. Tonight, you'll push aside the feelings you still have for Baekhyun. You'll pretend that you're fine and unhurt just to keep those smiles on your friends' faces. To not cloud over their night with your angst. 

You'll ignore him as much as you can and try to forget about how you're still completely in love with him. How you're actually excited to see him. To see his eyes sparkle as he animatedly speaks to everyone.

After the breakup, you had tried to move on from Baekhyun. You pushed yourself to go on dates - to try to connect with other people - but it just didn't work. You found yourself comparing all of your dates to him and wishing it was him across from you instead of these random strangers. You wished it was Baekhyun sending you good night texts or showing up at your door with flowers, and you felt bad for those poor souls who tried to capture your attention. Unfortunately, your mind was stuck on one person.

A knocking sound on the front door fills the room, and your heart beats wildly in your chest. Yixing gets up from his seat to answer it, and you do your best not to turn around and watch. A chorus of greetings surrounds you as the door opens. Soon, everyone is yelling some variation of hello towards the newcomer. You turn your head toward the door, unable to stand it anymore, and your heart nearly stops as you take in Baekhyun in all his glory. A giant smile is present on his face when he sees Yixing and everyone else behind him.

Somehow, you find yourself anxiously sitting on some stranger’s couch all thanks to your best friend Dabin. The people around you are all very nice and seem lovely, but you've never been good at first meetings. You'd consider yourself an introvert when being introduced to new people, and it took a while to get out of your shell. The only reason you're here is because Dabin is finally meeting her boyfriend's friends, and she dragged you along for moral support.

A knock on the door slightly startles you, and you glance around the room wondering how many more people could possibly be showing up. There are already like 15 of you here. You turn to see who else has just arrived and when your eyes focus on one man, your breath is taken away. He's gorgeous… and the way he lively greets the host enchants you…

You swallow, trying to wet your dry throat as you silently watch him enter the home like he owns the place. Everyone shouts greetings or cheers as he approaches, clearly happy to see him. You feel a part of yourself shrinking as you take in his larger-than-life persona.

His eyes survey the room as he greets everyone, and when they fall on you, they light up with interest. He sends you a sweet smile that has your heart stuttering, and you know right then that this man is trouble.

"Y/N, this is our friend, Baekhyun."

Chanyeol’s voice still replays in your mind as you watch the same scenario unfold before your eyes. There's only one difference this time.

Baekhyun's not alone. His new girlfriend is with him.

Dabin had already warned you about her existence and the possibility that she'd be here tonight, so you were prepared for the most part. Dabin told you they've been together for a month and that it was still relatively new, but that didn't make it hurt any less. That did not mean that it didn't suck seeing them together. 

Forcing a light smile on your face, you allow yourself to meet Baekhyun's eyes. They brighten as they find you, much like they did the first time, but that luminesce quickly disappears after a moment. You can see he's holding himself back and making it clear that you're nothing but an old friend. Someone important, but not important enough.

He offers you a small smile in return before his hand reaches toward his girlfriend, and he finds her fingers. If you could crawl further into your body, you would, but you try not to let that show as your gaze falls to her.

She's stunning. A piece of art that looks perfect besides Baekhyun, and from everything Dabin has told you about her, it seems like her personality matches. Good. Baekhyun deserves someone that'll treat him magnificently. He deserves happiness.

The quiet murmurs behind you make you realize that everyone is watching this moment. Even if they're attempting to be subtle - which, you know if you turn around, they're anything but - it feels like the room is collectively holding its breath. They all knew this moment was coming, but none of them knew how to properly approach it, including Baekhyun, who looks just as hesitant as you feel.

His girlfriend steps toward you, breaking the tension in the room and pulling your attention to her. She holds her hand out to you and introduces herself, breaking Baekhyun out of his stupor, so he can finish the introduction. 

You lightly shake her hand, seeing no ill-will or malice in her gaze, and find yourself relaxing a bit. When you give her a genuine smile, you visibly see her shoulders relax. Obviously, she's extremely nervous to be meeting all of his friends like this. You knew exactly how that felt, so you didn't need to add any extra stress for her as the ex. You can put on a fake smile and pretend to be happy for their sake as well.

See the full post

269 notes - Posted May 6, 2022

#2

Blurred Lines: Part 2

Pairing: Kim Sunwoo x Female Reader

Genre: Acquaintances to Lovers, Roommate AU, Fuckboy AU

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings: reader overhears Sunwoo having sex, language

Previous Chapter

While you head home from your night class, an unexpected excitement fills you as you think about seeing Sunwoo. Ever since the two of you hung out that night, you've noticed Sunwoo trying to be more engaging with you. His attempts at building a friendship have made you realize that him becoming your roommate might not be so bad. It might bring you some new energy that you haven't realized you've been craving until now.

It surprises you that you can see yourself developing a friendship with him, and maybe makes you feel a bit shameful. Admittedly, you haven't really made an effort to be friends with Kevin and Eric's friend group, and maybe you should change that. You could be holding yourself back from a lot of great friendships.

With a growing smile on your face, you begin to make the trek up the sidewalk to your apartment. Thoughts of maybe starting that show you've been talking about with Sunwoo fill your head as you wonder if he's home. While you come to a stop in front of your apartment door to grab your keys, you try to figure out why you're excited to hang out with him and when this odd flip occurred.

Sliding the key into the lock, you twist the handle and push open the door. Your eyes scan the living room, and when they come to a stop on the couch, your excitement immediately dissipates. There, sitting on the cushy, black furniture with some random girl straddling his lap, is Sunwoo. The pair is in such a heated and deep makeout session, they don't even notice your presence.

Ripping your eyes away from them, you shut the apartment door. The couple jumps apart at the sound and looks over at you, but you can barely glance in their direction. The image of her hands buried in his hair and his hands grinding her body against him refuses to leave your head.

Somehow, in the last couple of weeks, you've forgotten Sunwoo's reputation. You've allowed yourself to forget that, in his heart, he's a fuckboy.

"Hey," Sunwoo says, slightly pushing the girl off his lap like they weren't just about to have sex on your couch. "Welcome home!"

With a slight nod, you say, "Sorry for ruining your fun."

"You didn't ruin anything," he tells you, flashing a small smile your way. His black curls lay messily against his forehead, and you want to smack him for being attractive at a time like this. "How was your class?"

Your eyes land on the girl pouting next to him. The messy hair that frames her face and her swollen red lips tell you they've been at it for a while, and when she catches your stare, she sends you a nasty look. With a small scoff at her behavior, you focus back on Sunwoo and, with a dull tone, say, "Same stuff, different day."

Sunwoo lightly nibbles on his bottom lip as he notices your tone - likely feeling awkward about the situation - but then the girl next to him wraps her hands around his arm to get his attention back on her.

"Sunwoo," she whines in a cutesy voice. "Let's go to your room for some privacy."

She shoots you a look as she says the last words, and you roll your eyes. You couldn't care less that she doesn't like you here. It's your freaking apartment.

Sunwoo looks over at her, and when you see her bite her lip and give him her best sultry eyes, you decide that's enough for you. You kick your shoes off by the door and begin to head to your room. Sunwoo looks like he wants to say something, but his girl is done with not getting his attention.

With a glance behind you, you see her get up to her feet and pull Sunwoo up from the couch. His eyes fall down to her as he stands up and a slow smile begins to grow on his face as she drags him towards his room. The awkwardness he felt about being caught is replaced by lust once again.

You hear the door shut behind them as you head into your room and follow suit. At least, you'll have two shut doors between you as they do whatever it is they're about to do. You swing your backpack towards the corner of your room and drop down onto your bed with a sigh. Okay. New plan. Tonight, we'll avoid doing homework by doing what we usually do - waste time on YouTube.

Putting on your pajamas and booting up your laptop, you get yourself settled amongst your cozy blankets and pillows for a quiet night when you hear it. The sounds that let you know your night is about to be anything but quiet.

Your eyes immediately go to the bedroom wall Sunwoo and you share. The wall you failed to take into account when you shut your bedroom door to block out the noise. Feminine moans reach your ears, and your entire body freezes for a moment.

When you do break out of your trance, you quickly open up YouTube and click on the first video you see. It doesn't even matter what it is. You just need a noise blocker immediately. Turning the volume up obnoxiously loud, it helps drown out the moans until the bed squeaks and the thumping of the bed hitting the wall greets your ears.

Jumping up from your bed, you race to your backpack and dig out your headphones. Pushing them near painfully deep in your ears, you go back to your laptop and jam them into the headphone jack, nearly deafening yourself in the process. The squeaks and moans get drowned out, but now that you're calming down, awkwardness seeps into your system.

You feel awkward that you're overhearing them have sex, and that leads you to feeling mad that they're making you feel awkward in your own damn apartment. This is exactly what you dreaded about Sunwoo living with you. The exact reason you didn't want the fuckboy around your space. Frustration slams into you as you realize you're stuck in your room with your headphones in for the rest of the night.

—-----------------------------------------------------

The next day, as you walk up to the café that you're having lunch with Sophia at, you're still grumbling to yourself about the events that unfolded last night. Your hands come up to rub your sore ears which just adds fuel to your griping. You couldn't believe you had to fall asleep with headphones in.

Sighing, you walk into the café and quickly spot Sophia in the front corner. She waves and smiles when she sees you, but the greeting slowly fades when she sees the annoyed look on your face. You sit down and try to wipe away your negativity. It's not Sophia's fault that you had to listen to Sunwoo have sex half the night. Well, it kind of is, but you're not going to take your frustration out on her.

See the full post

304 notes - Posted January 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Blurred Lines Masterlist

Having one of your universities fuckboys become your roommate is the last thing you expect ...that is until you realize you're falling for him.

Now, you have to navigate the rude snob trying to be his girlfriend, an ex that isn't thrilled about you moving on, and feelings for a man that you're unsure can even reciprocate them.

*COMPLETED*

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 8 (Sunwoo's POV)

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14 (M)

Final

Short side stories:

Hiding in the Woods

The Campfire Scene

612 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ahereticatoll]

0- introduction

i had my first cigarette on the Saturday Night of Leeds Festival. it was a cold, august night and blink 182 was in the middle of all the small things. i had sat down at the back of the crowd as i had fucked up my leg in a mosh pit that afternoon. the cigarette was one dashed away from a random passerby, still lit. i dragged it and i felt like it was a dawning of a new me. i had had my first vape the evening before, mind you. fast forward two, three months and i have developed a crippling addiction to nicotine and a burgeoning love for weed. i probably have the gene for addiction within me, as my father, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, aunt, uncles, cousins all have nicotine addictions, two dying from it. this is the great irony of me, i have all this context of how crippling addiction is and i just continue.

it was around this time where i had my last girlfriend for the time being, she was slightly younger and from finland. it was purely online as i had lost all my 'mojo' following 2 bad breakups in december 2023 and july 2024. ever since them, and my split from this finnish girl, i promised myself that i would never love someone deeply, i will commit myself to the hedonistic parts of my hypersexuality, to meet people and not love them, just sleep with them. its not worked, ever, but its good to have boundaries. my sexuality is one of the great unanswered questions of life, as it seems to be constantly waving like water in a sink. i flip from straight to bi to gay to pan to aro to gay again quicker than a coin, but i never land. as of right now i find myself defining myself with an uncommon label- homoromanticism. in my life i have found that i can have attraction to all genders but i can only catch feelings for boys (the 3 people i have ever cried over were all boys- ill introduce them all when its called for).

for what its worth, to those around me my official label doesn't matter, i'm just a faggot.

i want to preface too that i am not as good a person as a first person pov may make me seem. it is natural for someone who is speaking of themself to make themself seem more sympathetic, but please don't. i'm not a person i think is deserving of sympathy.

finally, i will explain the title of this blog, something i want to write as a concrete work once my feelings are catalogued, an unwanted autobiography. i came up with the concept of A Heretic Atoll while reading the liner notes of hail to the thief by radiohead, and it came up. i see it representing where i live, a place that, within the outskirts, lays the hedonism that i see myself being a part of. we are all heretics, me and my friends, even if we don't show it. we all have things about us that make us heretics in the eyes of conservatives- gender identity, sexuality, actions, addictions, all making us heretics circling the waters of the city i call home. i hate this place, i want to escape, but i cannot help but feel like i love it. i love the feeling that this city gives me- the borderline northern identity.

this will all get personal, so i will change every name, but every word is true, at least to me.

[gascon-en-exil]

Happy Octopath Day! Have any fun headcanons for your favorite characters?

I was unaware of the Octopath Day thing until I checked Twitter this morning. But it's cute, 8/8 and all.

I'll stick to Osvald and Partitio here since those are the two I've been working with the most. I would do Papp and Roque as well, but I'm in the middle of writing a fic centering around them and don't want to spoil anything. I'll also try not to spoil any future plans I might have for my main two here...or rehash stuff I've already written in my published fics, for that matter. That said, most of this is still going to be in the context of my own fic continuity rather than strictly adhering to canon. I imagine no one reading this will mind.

Osvald knows how to dress and act in fashionable urban society purely from careful observation, although he has no actual care for social rules and will generally do only the bare minimum required of him. This does at least help him when he's on dates with a crossdressing Partitio.

Partitio, like his father, subscribes to a kind of loose folk worship of Bifelgan although neither have ever participated in organized religion. Partitio however is a bit more inclined to believe in the gods after hearing the story Osvald told during his proposal (rather ironically, since Osvald himself remains a devoted skeptic even after having literally conjured a piece of the Sacred Flame with his lover).

Osvald bottomed once during his university days, but found the sensation uncomfortable and has never wanted to since. At most he might allow Partitio to rim him, though more as an indulgence than as something he'd genuinely enjoy. However, seeing as I've made Osvald extremely hairy all over...Partitio would either be really into that or really not into that. I do have an idea for how I can get Partitio to top in one of my stories, but he won't be topping Osvald.

Tornadoes are common in the Wildlands, with Oresrush being approximately analogous to parts of the US that get them often. Because of experiences with them during his youth, Partitio isn't fond of wind magic which half explains his element switch compared to the OT merchant job.

Osvald knows that Roque is attracted to him, and also that Papp is psychosexually threatened by him in a "your son calls me daddy too" sense. I intend to use the former for a comic scene in my upcoming fic, but the latter would so complicated for anyone to entangle that they're all just going to have to live with Papp being quicker to think badly of Osvald than he otherwise would.

Despite the above, Partitio hasn't been quick to jump on the daddy kink angle with Osvald. I had him trying to minimize the age gap early on in my first fic, and at this point he'd probably be too embarrassed to bring it up unless Osvald nudged him in that direction. I'm not planning to write that...but if I do I'm going to have to get weird with it to fit in with all the other stuff I pile on these two. Like, Osvald seriously buying into Solistian!Freudian theory and believing that Partitio is attracted to his own father and needs to work out those feelings through him levels of weird.

In line with his struggles with empathizing with the perspectives of others, I could see a hypothetically heterosexual Osvald recommending, as what he considers friendly advice, that Partitio get his homosexuality "cured" through any number of 19th century pseudoscientific treatments, ex. electroshock. Mercifully I made Osvald bi right from the start, so Partitio never had to deal with any of that.

I believe I've made Partitio cry about half a dozen times across two fics, which seems excessive except that I think he's the only one of the OT2 travelers who ever cries in canon so it does kind of fit him. As with his incredibly hesitant use of the word "love," I'm saving up Osvald crying for an appropriately big moment.

Someone (probably Roque) will make a joke at some point about how ironic/appropriate it would be if, in a family composed entirely of queer men, Elena grew up to be a lesbian. Partitio is wholly supportive of this idea, but Osvald is weirdly indignant and will have to be told to get over himself.

Osvald will eventually come up with the magical equivalent of batteries, which may or may not expand into Partitio & Roque eventually bringing widespread electrical power to the world.

After both of his fathers have died - Papp dying when his age is a multiple of eight, because that's his backstory gimmick - Partitio will be faced with Osvald trying to talk to him about the very likely possibility that he'll survive his older lover by a number of years. This will upset Partitio considerably and possibly throw him into a state of denial, but he'll eventually come around to accepting it with Osvald and Elena's help.

Regardless of the proposed plan at the end of my second fic, I don't seriously see Osvald and Partitio adopting additional children. Both of them would be very happy with just Elena, and Partitio prefers to look at the bigger picture. He'd probably pour funding into whatever orphanages he can find and help out that way. That still doesn't stop him from fantasizing about getting bred and knocked up though.

Somewhat related, but while I have no plans currently to ever get Osvald and Partitio over to Toto'haha...if they ever do get there they're going to have kinky beastling sex because everyone loves the hunter job turning the characters into furries so they can have kinky beastling sex. It's like a canonical build your own Omegaverse!

[shiroi---kumo]

·:¨༺ ✩★✩ ༻¨:·. There is a voice echoing in the halls and he recognizes it as Pilvi's small human but there is a concern in his voice that is unsettling. Revon has left, and Sielu is with Valo at his last count. So he's moving a little quicker through the halls to get to him only for his gaze to fill up with the sight of Pilvi's small human and an even smaller one yet. He says he found Ed, the kid, he calls and it must have been the boy that Pilvi had mentioned looking for in the past.

The child looks confused and alone and a total mess. He's dirty and his hair is tangled and he looks like it's been some time since he ate properly. It's good they found him. The man of pink is adjusting his glasses as he approaches and looks to the pair with raised brows.

"Ah - tervetuloa takaisin - this is - the boy that Pilvi was looking for? But - where's Pilvi?"

⋯✧・♪♫♪・✧⋯ He doesn't remember Pilvi being this heavy but he also has to carry the boy and the Maken. He knows better than to leave it behind because even if it wasn't The Holy Blade, the image of Usva bringing Pilvi into his classroom in a panicked fit will never leave his mind. He remembers the feeling of his blood running cold at the sight of it.

He can remember his brother laying this boy down on his couch in such a cold and lifeless state which was the exact opposite of the babbling man that was resting against his back with his arms over his shoulders.

"Chu think we can take a nap when we get home?" The man of white sounds. "Opettaja is going to be so happy to see you. He's going to cry so much. But I mean he'll happy cry. He already cries so much. He's been so sad. I try to cheer him up but nothing works but he's seen bad stuff and I don't know how to make it not scary for him."

And all he can do is nod as he continues to walk. It's all he's been able to do for however many years he's been stuck in this hell. That's been the only option left avaliable to him. To just keep walking. Walking, running or sliding out of the way of danger. He's seen villages completely destroyed by monsters. He's watched supporters of a strange place called Gaudium burn towns to the ground for speaking out against someone they called the Earl and in the process of all this - he's gained more than his fair share of blood on his hands.

He couldn't stand by and watch these people die when they did nothing wrong but more over when he saw those posters go up on every building and job board within the whole of this place- something about Gaudium officials looking for Pilvi and the Black Wind and if they were looking for Pilvi then they could probably give him more information about just why they would do such a thing.

He can't say he's proud of how many men he's tortured, but if it got him the information he needed to find his family then he'd do whatever it took. If these fuckers were willing to burn towns down to the ground then he couldn't take the chance on what they would do to his nephew. He couldn't risk Pilvi just to spare himself stains on his own soul. So he'd stain himself red if that was what it took to spare that boy any sort of agony.

"Setä I love you so much. I'm so happy you're here. I missed you so much." And he can feel the boy rubbing his horns against the back of his head as he continues to walk. He's jostling the body of white around a little to redistribute his weight against his back but he really doesn't remember Pilvi being this heavy and every step has his legs feeling like lead.

"I love you too, Wisp but I need you to be quiet okei? Can you do that for me? Can you play a game of quiet?"

"I don't want to play any games right now. I want to purr on you."

And his heart shatters to pieces at his nephew's words even if the boy isn't even coherent enough to understand what he just said. The prince is leaning forward to loosely sling his arms over the elder's shoulders as he tries to press himself to his Uncle as closely as possible before he starts purring loudly.

He can drown himself in his thoughts with this. This is fine. This is familiar. This is torture. He doesn't have the time to talk to Helakan right now, even if he can see him hovering just out of the corner of his eye.

I'm keeping my promise dammit, so you don't need to come pester me right now, Isoveli.

All he can do is walk. He can't listen to Pilvi. He can't break focus. He can't pay attention to how hungry he is and he can't focus on how dry his throat is. He's starving and he can't remember the last time he had a proper meal. He's been living off scraps for weeks and whatever else he could get his hands on. The rewards from the bounties weren't enough to keep a proper meal in his belly and sugar - he couldn't remember - he's positive the only reason he has the strength for this right now is born of his pure stubbornness.

It's the only reason he's still here.

He promised his brother he would watch over his boys if anything happened to him so by Tiamat's grace he would be the best kummisetä he could be and he promised Sielu he would be right behind him. He might be who knows how many years late but that loser has all rights to sock him one when they get there. He couldn't stop. He couldn't stop walking for any reason no matter what.

He was so close. So close to -

There is green in his vision. Green and deep blue and it can't be. His eyes are playing tricks on him again. That green is running - no - flying his direction.

"Sinfonia!!!!"

A shiver rushes down his spine at the sound of his own name. A voice so familiar he'd forgotten what it sounded like in all these years.

"Sinfonia!! My Liege!!"

He's closing in on them, and crossing the space between himself and the other body he doesn't recognize right now as his eyes start to blur out.

"Vi!! Vi!! Vii!!!" Pilvi is making a fuss on his back again as the arms slung over his shoulders start to reach for the incoming mass of blue and green.

"Revon I swear to fuck you better be real."

He stumbles just as the knight reaches them only to catch them both and stop them from tumbling to the ground. And he's being brought up to shaking legs only to see the sight of a giant of a man with deep red hair - dressed in black - the Windarian, come to stand at their sides.

He growls on instinct at the sight of him taking a step back only to stumble again.

"Why's a Windarian here and -" He's growling deeper, letting whatever mist that still exists in his lung flow out from behind his teeth when Bahamut's bastard dares take a step closer to him.

"Give me White Cloud." He sounds in a low booming sort of voice that doesn't bring him any sort of comfort but it only causes the smallest man of the group to back away entirely.

"Don't fucking touch him." The Silencer hisses while his grip tenses. He'll surrender him to Revon but no one else and especially not this beas-

Revon doesn't have time to explain as he watches orange eyes haze over and nearly roll all the way back into the musician's head as the younger collapses to the ground. Again, it's all he can do to catch both of them and he's sighing as he sorts out the mess. He doesn't have the strength to carry them both with his still healing injuries.

"Can you - "

"Give me White Cloud."

He doesn't like the idea of letting the other man carry his Liege but the boy seems to only curl up into the gunman's hold as he finds himself in a quick slumber. He hasn't seen the man do anything wretched the prince and he's right here if he decides to get smart.

So the knight is gathering the only other member of royal blood up into his own arms so they can start their trek back to the Comodeen.

The Aurorean sighs looking down at the mess of a man in passed out in his arms now.

"Sleep now Sinfonia, we'll handle it now. You did more than enough."

He sighs when Ed tenses next to him.

Not the best analogy for the situation, but there's unfortunately not much time to dwell. Even if Kaze's already on it, the others need to know.

Not that Pilvi can't handle himself, of course, but... well. Wonderland is Wonderland.

The walk back to the Comodeen is a short one, made in relative silence other than the dirt that crunches underfoot and the occasional sound of some creature. He's greeted and let in just as fast, but instead of a happy welcome, he's practically dragging himself through the mud and chewing on his bottom lip.

"Here we are. The Comodeen."

The knife sinks into her shoulder before a gloved hand grabs hold of her neck in the same instance. Its heat makes her shake in his grasp as it spreads down her arm and up her spine, breaths coming out in sharp, angry hisses.

What a brat. She doesn't listen to what he says, doesn't pay attention. Why should she when she could plan how to make him pay? Him and her little bird.

She'll have them all someday and there won't be a damn thing they can do about it.

She just needs to wait.

"Hello?" he calls, voice carrying down the hallway where the others' rooms are.

Sielu will be hard to lure out, but Aamunkoitto might come. It won't be easy to tell either of them.

"I'm back... We found Ed - the kid - and I have to tell you guys something. And then maybe make him a space."

[studentsoutofbed]

2022

Wow. Another year gone again. They say that the older you get, the quicker time passes. Turns out I've now only got one full year until I'm in my 30s. I do feel so grown up now. If 2021 was the year I learned, 2022 was the year I changed. Life is good again. I still have bad days. I still wake up some mornings after a bad dream and wish it would all go away. But most mornings I wake up with life in my belly.

I started writing this at the end of 2022, but I will finish it in January.

This was the first year since Covid that has been almost entirely normal. Hell, I can't even remember when we had to stop isolating for COVID, or when we stopped having to wear masks?

I've really tried to make the most of it. It can be hard. In the big city, with so many friends, yet sometimes so lonely. I knew it would never be perfect, and I give myself grace for when I go wrong. But absolutely I've done so many positive things this year. I've started dating again. And lots of it. More than I'd like if we're being honest. But it makes me feel alive to get that feeling in the pit of stomach when I send a text. It's disappointing when it doesn't work out, but I have to believe that good things are coming.

This time last year, I made a list of 'resolutions' to try and uphold. Some of them were tangible and others less so. They were as follows:

1. Keep practicing mindfulness. Renew affirmations - This one didn't go great. I still practice mindfulness from time to time, but not as often as I'd like. I think I've abandoned the idea of affirmations. I'm still working up the courage to try therapy.

2. Try something genuinely new or adventurous every month - this is fairly ambiguous. I've probably not fulfilled it, but I think I've gone a fair way toward it

3. Walk 3,650,000 steps in the year - absolutely smashed it, over 4,100,000.

4. Cook at least one new recipe a month- definitely tried some, but other factors sort of got in the way!

5. Don't fear being needy with friends. Message them - I've definitely done this a few times!

6. Take on at least one new project or challenge at work - I don't think there's one particular thing here, but I've definitely done loads of extra stuff, and got my promotion.

7. Say something nice when you can - can definitely do this more

8. Do something nice when you can - and this

9. Travel again - Yep! Ticked off 4 new countries, and some staycations too

10. Eat a little better - hmm

11. Volunteer for something - I definitely tried at times - I'll keep this in mind

12. Just try your best - most days I do my best, and any day that's not my best is forgiven.

At the end of this post I will consider some new resolutions for 2023. I think some will be more measurable.

For now though I shall continue with my review of this year, in the usual way.

Falklands Take 3 - With Rose wanting to move in with Chris, we had to move out of our flat. It felt like a perfect chance to go back to the Falklands, and not pay rent whilst I was there. Another opportunity to save up some more money. But more importantly, a chance to rewrite the narrative. I saw one of those inspirational Instagram posts that said 'Laugh in the places you've cried'. That really stuck with me. I can safely say that every single tear I cried in 2021 during my time down south was replaced with a laugh this year. None of this is to downplay some of the times I had in 2021, and particularly the positive impact the people around me had. But this year was all positive. Quarantine was only 5 days this time, and also in the UK. It wasn't fun like the year before, but it definitely went quicker. The next 12 weeks were an absolute blast. At work, I was the experienced one, the person to come to with questions. That felt empowering. The team were amazing. The mess was so much friendlier than it been subsequently. I had many fun nights drinking in the bar, or in Stanley. Some shifts were really fun. My birthday night we took over the mess and did karaoke. There was the night we dressed up to watch Antz in the common room. I finally managed to visit Sea Lion Island, and I returned again to Saunders. In my last week, we had a dinner party at Katie's house. Just the met team. I honestly don't think I've laughed that much in so long. The place is dark and haunting, and it can engulf you, but in a such a beautiful way. It exhibits and almost Stockholm Syndrome like hold on me. I'm genuinely so excited to go back.

Holidays - One of my goals was to travel again. I managed to tick off 4 countries (maybe 5?) In 3 trips. Me and Chris went to Kosovo and Macedonia as a cheap replacement for Norway, where we were supposed to do a marathon. It was a cheap time, but it was a great mix of city sightseeing with beers, a nice relaxing canyon trip, and a big mountain walk. For only 5 days we packed it all in. I then went to Athens and Brussels for a couple of nights each. They were really enjoyable in their own ways, but they did make me question how I should handle my solo trips now. I thought I'd treat myself to hotels, but it just made me a bit lonely. Maybe a rethink this year.

Weddings with uni people - 2 sets of my uni friends got married this year. Will and Pippa in August, then Luuk and Georgina in November. They were both so beautiful in different ways. For Will and Pippa we made a long weekend in Devon out of it. I don't get the chance to spend that much time with these guys these days, so it felt like a real throw back. Similarly for Luuk and Georgina's, it felt so wholesome. I hope I can hang out with this lot a bit more this year.

Bill's wedding - this was special in a different way, as he asked to me be his best man, just before I left for the Falklands. It didn't allow me to help in any way whatsoever, nor to sort a stag. I felt bad, but I couldn't do anything about it to be fair. I was so proud to have that honour. It's good to know that I have friends like that.

Ashbury - as always. What a privilege to spend 3 days with the best ones from the first days. I'm so glad we're still a tight group, and I'd love to hang out with them more.

It feels a bit empty to have such few things here. I think maybe that's one of the positives this year. It's been moments and days that have been excellent. And there's been loads of them. Just vibes.

I do need to dedicate some space to my Nanny. She passed away at the end of the year after a few months of deterioration. I miss her terribly. My grandad is still not himself now, although my mum is back to normal, on the outside at least. I am so glad I came back to Bristol fairly regularly in those months, to get to see her one last time. Love you.

And we come to my goals for 2023. Last year I decided to make goals that would enable me to slightly alter the way I live my life. Goals to encourage me to do more, and pay more attention to the relationships I have with friends and family. This year I want to be more specific with some of them. And so.

Run a sub 4 hour marathon

Run a sub 1:45 half-marathon

Send a V4 bouldering route

Be able to do 20 pull ups (maybe a bit tricky, but stretch goals init)

Travel more again

Go camping

Eat better

Do more things that frighten me

Get out of bed!

Try therapy (haven't done it for the last two years so not expecting big things from myself here)

Be proud of myself

These goals have some more physical aspects to them, and some pretty specific. I feel like I'm currently in the shape of my life, and I need to make the most of it. I should be in my prime so why not help myself.

2023 feels like it's going to be a transition year for me. I am going to the Falklands again in September for the end of the year. It will feel like a bit of a time bomb, especially when it comes to summer. I'm expecting big changes in 2024, and this year is leading up to it. Maybe that means it's a really good chance to have loads of fun. Make the most of my 20's and all that.

All I ask of myself is to do my best. To embrace change, but hold on to what matters. Spend time with family, with friends. Work on myself. Bad days are just that.

[peqchsoup]

and/or prompt 39 for tangerine x reader please? 👀👀👀

Anything for my fave <3

Lol I said I would post this last night and then I just didn't so here it is now

PS. It hasn't been proofread so ignore any mistakes :)

I Can't Stand You

Tangerine x reader

Rated M

CW: lots of swearing, mentions of death, reader is an assassin

You were supposed to be on holiday.

You thought that you would get the train from Tokyo to Kyoto and finish your two-week holiday in the once-capital of Japan to visit traditional Buddhist temples and relax.

Which is why, when you were reading your book, you were startled to see a man with a bucket hat and glasses sitting across from you.

"Hey. Hey!" He called to get your attention. You looked over the top of your book to see him leaning in close to you.

"Can I help you?" You could tell he was American. Bloody Americans.

"Listen, I'm hiding from this, like, crazy British guy and he's gonna come this way so could you help me out and just wear my hat, coat and glasses?"

"What's in it for me?"

"Uhh, I have, uh," he started going through his wallet, "two hundred bucks. Is that enough?"

You thought for a moment and sighed, two hundred dollars to sit in another guy's coat. You've done worse for less.

"Fine." "Yes!"

"Can I ask why you're hiding from some British guy?"

"Well I took something that him and his brother want and I don't even think they're related but people keep calling them twins, they're definitely not twins-"

"Hang on," You interrupted his rambling by holding your finger up to shush him, "twins you say?"

He looked confused, "Uh, yeah. But like I said, I don’t think they're-"

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Do these twins happen to go by fruity names?"

"Yeah?"

"Lemon and Tangerine?"

"Yeah, how did you know that?"

"I'm an old friend, shall we say?"

"Oh shit-"

"No no no, don't worry! Anything to piss Tangerine off, I'm on board. I'm still taking the money, though."

The man let out a heavy sigh of relieve, shoving off his jacket for you to put on yourself, before handing you his accessories.

"Thank you, again, for this!" He cried and then ran off to hide. You continued reading, quite excited to see Tangerine again. You and the twins weren't necessarily out to kill each other, you were just rivals. There was the time in Russia where you took down a political meeting of 9 people, and then the twins turned up ready to go in all guns blazing, only to be faced by you sitting comfortably in the chair at the top of the table with your feet propped on the table. There was the time in London where you had to steal a hand-sized cross that was worth millions more than you and you slipped it out from under the twins' noses. Watching them freak out from afar made that job your favourite. The twins weren't your biggest fans because you were always quicker, always smoother, always one step ahead. Lemon was never as easy to wind up, but Tangerine's temper was so short, it wouldn't take much for him to flip out, and nothing brightened your day more.

"Alright, game's up. Where's the case? Tell me and I'll only shoot you-" You placed your book down and turned to face Tangerine, not realising how close his face would be to yours.

"Tangerine!"

"Oh fuckin' hell"

"Long time, no see, bud. How's it going? How's Lemon?"

"Everything's fucking fantastic."

Tangerine grabbed you by the collar and pulled you towards the gangway and into the tiny train bathroom. He closed the door behind him and backed you against the wall.

"Where is he?"

"Who?"

"The guy."

"What guy?"

"The guy who made you wear his fucking glasses! Where is he?"

"Oh, him! I don't know."

"I can't fucking stand you, do you know that?" "I figured." "You're always in the fucking way. I can't take a single step without your big mouth already being there." "You think about my mouth? That's weird."

"No, I don't think about your mouth."

"Well that's what you made it sound like."

"Well I didn't mean it that way." "Does that mean you fancy me?"

"What?"

"Do you think about my mouth because you fancy me?"

"Will you just shut the fuck up for two fucking minutes!"

You leaned against the wall, eyes wide,  slightly stunned at the volume of his little outburst. He turned to face the door, locked it, and turned back to face you. You took a few steps forward but before you could say anything, Tangerine grabbed your face in both of his hands and pressed his lips against yours, walking you backwards until your back hit the wall. Your tongues met and fireworks went off in your head. Tangerine's hands were everywhere: your neck, your shoulders, your chest, your hips. He didn't want to leave any part untouched. Your hands simply found his hair and settled there for the duration of the kiss. You pulled away for air, both panting in each other's faces. You pulled one of your hands out of his hair to cradle his cheek.

You smirked, "I thought you couldn't stand me." Tangerine let out a breathy laugh, "I can't," and leaned down to kiss you again.

NB: Requests are open!!