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lokidjarin-7567 · 2 months ago

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Kinktober Day 7: Secret Relationship

Spencer Reid x you

Contents: fem!reader x Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds), oral sex fem receiving, flashbacks, ooey gooey feelings

W/C: 3.2k

Ok so I’m behind again, oops, but I’m proud of this one! Again, not the kinkiest but I got carried away with the fluff and I also got into a cipher-related rabbit hole so I hope you enjoy regardless :))

PS: This is also a love letter to pre-boyband hair season 5 Spencer, AKA my favourite hair era, as depicted below

Kinktober Masterlist | General Masterlist | AO3

“Do you want to grab some coffee?” A voice whispered beside you, a touch too close to be just colleagues. You smiled uncontrollably, heart rate picking up as his hand brushed across your back.

“Sounds good.”

That’s how you found yourself pressed against the door of the copy room, Spencer’s lips on yours, his hand up your skirt.

“We’ve got time, baby…” He practically whined between kisses, bucking his hips into yours.

“Spence! We have…“ you checked you watch absentmindedly, “5 minutes until briefing.” He grinned.

“I take that as a challenge…”

His head started to dip, moving to kneel down, but you grabbed his hair with a fake gasp of disbelief, pulling him back up to his usual height, looming over you.

“Oh honey, I don’t doubt you could, but I’m not sure these walls are soundproof.” Your fingers moved to his cheek, and he sighed into your lips, his hands returning to your waist and squeezing.

“But you left so early this morning, I didn't have time to start your day right…” You were grinning ear to ear, noses bumping into each other clumsily, and you whimpered into his mouth as his teeth grazed your bottom lip.

“I know, I know, I’ll make it up to you later, I promise…” You kissed him one last time with finality, pushing off the door and smoothing your skirt, but he was slightly less keen to leave, pressing himself against your hip as he helped straighten your hair and lip gloss. “I should probably leave first. You clearly need a minute.” He huffed behind you, but you had already slipped out of the room, heading into the bullpen as if nothing had happened.

You’d had a crush on him for a long time before anything happened. You joined the team a couple of years ago as a linguistics and code-breaking expert - something that was surprisingly helpful in the cases the BAU took on. You’d harboured years of butterflies, coy glances, occasional hand grazes… and you thought you’d done a pretty good job at hiding it. You’d known it was unrequited - he never so much as looked in your direction unless he was asking your opinion on something he was working on. It was starting to get to you. Your feelings had slowly been growing, swelling in your chest as you watched from afar, to the point where you had considered transferring departments. And then it all changed.

It was a case in California; a serial killer who was carving encrypted messages into his victims posthumously, only you had no idea what cipher he had used. You and Spencer had been working tirelessly for days to crack it while the rest of the team were searching for physical evidence, and it was a distraction you were grateful for. Even though you were working alone with him in close quarters, it was one of the few times you could briefly forget about your feelings, too consumed with your work to allow yourself to think about him.

It was night 3 of sleeping at the station. JJ had predicted it was going to happen, moving your go bags from the hotel to the precinct on the first day, and you and Spencer had been taking turns napping on the small couch whenever you physically couldn't keep your eyes open. You were sleep deprived and strung out, but you were close. You could feel it. You knew it wasn’t a shift cipher or some kind of alternate alphabet converted back and forth - you had exhausted every possibility of that days ago. You had been testing more complex ciphers, Garcia running everything imaginable through software to attempt to decipher it, but with no luck.

“What haven’t we tried?” Spencer muttered, pacing the room after a last ditch attempt at some kind of converted polybius square. Garcia was on speaker, confirming that she had tried every option available to her twice over.

“I mean, at this point, it could only be some kind of complex Vigenère cipher that somehow hasn’t been deciphered through Garcia’s software, or…” You didn’t even want to say the other option aloud - just the thought that three days work would’ve been completely wasted sent a shiver through your body.

“Or it’s a one-time pad.” Spencer said what you were too scared to, collapsing on the sofa with a sigh.

“A one-time pad? Is that the…”

“Unbreakable cipher. Yeah.” He confirmed.

“Unless…” A thought struck you, and you stood to the whiteboard you had set up in the room, scribbling down the ciphertext from the first body and converting it to numbers. “We need to think about this from the unsub’s point of view. He wouldn’t use a true OTP because if he truly wanted to hide this code, he wouldn’t carve it on his victims. But, the key might not be random.”

“Yeah, but then it would’ve been picked up on Garcia’s systems…”

“Not if each body had a different key….” You had written and converted the next two bodies’ codes while you were speaking, and you stood back briefly, showing Spencer what you had written. “We’ve been collating the messages and running them as a whole, but…do you see a pattern?” He paused, eyes scanning over the board frantically, and then he calmed visibly, a wave of realisation hitting his features. You smiled as he saw what you did, standing quickly and grabbing another pen to scrawl the keys beneath each.

“The Bible.” He whispered. “A Vigenère is hardest to break if the key is as long as the plaintext. Seven letters. Six letters. Nine letters. Genesis. Exodus. Leviticus.”

“It might work.” He nodded, brow furrowed in thought as he stared at the lettering.

“Let’s try it.” He wrote the corresponding letters as you did the sums, converting them back to the alphabet and - to your shock and relief - it was making sense.

P. L. E. A. S. E. H. …

E. L. P. M. E. I. …

C. A. N. T. S. T. O. P. J. …

“Garcia, can you read the last body please? The one we don’t have photos for yet…”

“No need.” Spencer muttered, writing it down without glancing up. You forgot how immaculate his memory was sometimes.

“Thank you.” It was seven letters. Perfect. You wrote numbers, he converted, you did the sum and muttered the letters aloud…

A. M. E. S. T. O. L.

“James. James ‘tol’? Is that a name, or the start of one?” Garcia asked over the speaker, but Spencer wasn’t listening, muttering to himself as he moved to the files quickly, flipping through them.

“No, I…” You answered for him, “I think Spence is onto something Pen…”

“Get Hotch on the line.” He barked, finding what he was looking for and bringing it to you.

“Hotch here…” A tired voice rung out in the small room just as you realised what Spencer was showing you, a gasp escaping your lips.

“It was David.” He breathed immediately, his words tumbling out at a breakneck speed. “The message on the bodies said something about James followed by T-O-L, and that reminded me of your interview…”

“David kept referring to a colleague throughout the interview, a James, that ordered him around a lot…”

“If he kills again, I bet the phrase would be completed. James told me to, maybe?” You mused, and Spencer nodded.

“Garcia, have you got his file.”

“Yes, I’m opening it now and… oh my god.”

“What is it?”

“He had a brother called James. Hung himself when David was 11.”

“And all of his victims died from strangulation.” The pieces had fallen perfectly into place.

“Address?”

The unsub’s home had been closer to the hotel, so Hotch and the rest of the team went to his listed address, leaving you and Spencer to wait nervously in the precinct. You were pacing frantically, knotting your hands as the sound of your heavy boots echoed throughout the room. Spencer cooed your name calmly, and you turned to him, blushing lightly. He was sitting on the edge of the sofa, leant forwards with his arms on his knees looking up at you with… a look you’d never seen before. Concern mixed with something else, something foreign to you. But it was gone as quickly as it had appeared, replaced with a kind smile.

“Just sit for a minute. Try and relax.” You nodded weakly, perching on the edge and trying to still your racing heart, leg bouncing and hands still twisting in each other with nervous energy.

“Sorry, I… I know we’ve done our bit now but I hate not being there when the team are apprehending him…”

“I know what you mean,” he muttered. You sat in silence for a few minutes, mind racing with what might be happening. What if he was armed? What if he’d decided to shoot his way out? They could all be dead right now, and you would have no idea….

Spencer’s phone rang. He stood, answering it quickly. It was Emily, and you heard him mutter a few affirmatives, smile playing across his features.

“Did they…” You asked as soon as he hung up, and he nodded.

“Yep, it went perfectly. He’s in custody, and they’re on their way back now.” The relief you felt was palpable, a sigh falling from you as he sat back down on the sofa next to you, sinking into it and resting his head back, mirroring your position.

You hadn’t realised your leg was still bouncing until his hand fell to it. Your breath caught in your throat as he squeezed lightly, stilling you effortlessly. He was so warm, slender fingers fanned out across the space just above your knee, and it took a moment for you to compose yourself. You turned your head, and he was already gazing at you, the mysterious expression from earlier back, his dark eyes meeting yours with warmth.

“You were incredible today…” He muttered, hand still resting on his leg, and you couldn’t help but blush. He was the most intelligent person you knew, and likely would ever know, and even without your feelings being involved, a complement from him was about the highest praise a person could get in your line of work.

“Thank you, but I couldn’t have done it without you…”

“Bullshit.” He whispered, and you laughed.

“Ok, maybe I could’ve, but it would’ve taken me twice as long.” He chuckled then, eyes scanning over your face with an intensity you only saw when he was trying to analyse something. It felt as though his eyes were boring into your skin, and you had to look away, heart near beating out of your chest. His hand shifted slightly on your leg, and oh sweet Jesus you just remembered it was still there. It had a strange affect on you - like when you put a harness on a cat and they suddenly couldn’t walk. You were frozen solid, trying to breath and staring at the ceiling.

Then his hand touched your chin. It was light, delicate, just guiding your eyes back to his and it wasn’t until that moment you finally realised what that look had been, the one you couldn’t identify. It was a reflection of what you had been feeling for months. The longing, the restraint, the need that swirled up inside you every time you stole a glance at him, and now, seeing those same emotions in his soft eyes, it was sobering. He wanted you too.

He moved first, gently pulling your lips to his and kissing you, light as a feather. It was tentative and sweet, so unsure and your body took a second to process that the thing you had been imagining for years was actually happening. And then you smiled, hands moving to the base of his neck, fingers twisting into his gorgeous hair and you pulled him back to you, lips clashing in a kiss full of years of pent up desire and desperation. You felt his body relax under your touch as the kiss deepened, his hands wandering to trail your waist and hips, before tangling in your hair and holding tight, pulling you closer. You had twisted until you were practically on his lap, hands falling to his shirt and bunching it up as his tongue finally hit yours, every bone in your body turning to jelly as you tasted him. It was magnetic, everything you had wanted for a long time finally coming to fruition and you couldn’t even break away for a second of air, so lost in him that breathing was no longer important.

And then the Precinct door banged open, and you jumped away as though you had been electrocuted. You laughed, cursing quietly as you tried to smooth your hair, tousled from his hands, while he just smiled, gazing at you.

“Spencer!” You whisper-shouted at him, still grinning uncontrollably, and he finally moved, straightening his shirt and placing his jacket over his lap. You giggled like a school girl, standing and moving to the whiteboard to try and convey a more believable working situation, and to put some distance between you and him, not sure how well you’d be able to hide your smile if he was so close to you.

You still jumped when Rossi opened the door to the room, although, you were more surprised when he didn’t speak. You turned to him, confused, and he pointed at Spencer. When you followed his eye line, you realised he was pretending to sleep, head slouched to one side and mouth slightly parted. He looked beautiful.

It had been six months, and you were stronger than ever. You honestly weren't sure how you were still keeping it a secret. You had had years of practice when you were just pining after him, sure, but it was a hell of a lot harder to not give anything away when every time you looked at him, you got flashbacks to the night before. Even if the team somehow did suss out a vibe, no one said anything, which was something you were grateful for. Spence was a lot better than you at masking his feelings, so anyone who noticed something probably assumed you just had a crush on him. Which was true enough.

You had managed to avoid looking at him the entire briefing, which was honestly a miracle, but your mind was ever so slightly distracted by your rendezvous in the copy room. As JJ spoke, you heard something about male victims, and she might have mentioned Tennessee, but all you could think about was that travel meant your date night plans were cancelled. And you were always cautious in hotels - too close to your other colleagues. It was hit or miss; sometimes, the fear of it was fun, the idea that someone could knock and catch you in the act, but if you had adjoining rooms with any of your teammates… well, them hearing you scream his name might just be a bit awkward. So, naturally, all you could think about now was finishing what you started earlier. You wanted this meeting to be over, to get him somewhere private and to let him completely wreck you before the long plane ride, to get this idea out of your head so you could focus on the case at hand. And then, at last, came the magic words…

“Wheels up in 20.”

The team dispersed quickly, and you caught Spencer’s sleeve just before he left the room.

“My car?” You muttered, earning a grin.

“Change your mind, baby?”

“Shut up.” You smiled. “I’ll meet you down there…”

“What’re you doing?” You practically whimpered, as he opened the passenger door instead of joining you in the backseat. He chuckled.

“Just making space.” You were about to ask what for, when he deftly moved the seat forwards, before getting in the back. Oh. You grinned as he pressed his lips to yours with hunger, backing you into the corner and you let yourself be dwarfed by him. His fingers trailed your collarbone, to your waist, and gripping onto your thigh with urgency. You whined as his lips left yours, earning another soft laugh. He managed to fit his tall frame mostly in the footwell, pushing your skirt up to your hips as you bit your lip, admiring him. He was so beautiful, the way his hair fell over his face, his earnest eyes, almost pleading in the way he looked up at you, his long fingers that so deftly moved your panties to one side.

“Can you…” he muttered gesturing to his hair, and you giggled, hand running through the front locks and holding them away from his face. Your leg draped over his back as his head dipped, tongue going straight to your folds, lips circling your core and kissing your sensitive bud with a hum of contentment. Your body relaxed into him, moan escaping your lips. He’d always been enthusiastic about eating you out, and you’d never complained about it. He was good. Really good. And today was no different.

He was lapping you up, relishing every taste and you were getting closer to your orgasm with every circle around your clit, cunt clenching around nothing.

“Spence…” you managed to gasp out, writhing in the seat, “fingers…” He didn’t hesitate for a second, one of the hands firmly holding your thighs apart trailed down to your centre, two fingers slipping into your soaking core. Your groan was filthy as he found that spot that made your toes curl with such perfect precision it was blinding.

“Oh god Spencer…” you choked out between moans and pants… “baby I’m so close…” Your hands tightened in his hair, pulling him closer, and he groaned into you, sending a wave of pleasure through you that sent you over the edge into that searing hot pleasure you were so used to receiving from him. He held onto you as you rode it out, his tongue still circling you until you were finished, finally stopping when you started to whine and squirm from overstimulation.

“Fucking hell, Spence.” You muttered, as he gently returned your panties and carefully let your skirt fall back around you. You watched in awe as he quickly licked his fingers clean, but it was mostly pointless, as his lips and chin were covered in your slick. You giggled.

“You might have to rinse your face before you join the team.” He grinned, pressing his lips to yours with force, and you could taste yourself on his tongue, making you hum into him.

“Now you will too.”

After a quick clean-up in the parking lot toilets, you both joined the rest of the team, entrances tactically staggered. For once, you couldn’t help but look at him, stealing glances as much as possible, watching as his hands scanned pages as he read and all you could think about is what those hands were doing to you just minutes earlier.

When you started looking into the case, you would be focussed, fully invested, but… you just wanted to stay in this headspace a moment longer. A happy one. A scary one still, for sure, but a fun kind of scary. A hopeful kind of scary. It was peaceful. And peaceful moments were rare in your line of work. His eyes caught yours, sending you a soft smile, and you knew you were in for the long haul, no matter how many people you had to lie or, or how much time you had to hide it for. It was all worth it for the moments of peace with him.

Taglist 🩵 - @emma-e-a

#kinktober 2024 #kinktober #fanfic #spencer reid #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid smut #Spencer Reid soft #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds

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hellfire--cult · 1 year ago

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Edit of Eddie: Sofiiel

Stripper!Eddie x Shy!Fem!Reader

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 (end)

WC: 12.9k

⚠️ +18 MDNI, Stripper!Eddie, shyness towards men, nervousness, self-esteem issues, fluff of some sort, self doubt, flirting, soft touches, skin on skin contact, kissing, kissing with tongue, pining, Stripper!Billy and Stripper!Steve at the end.

Plot: You thought you were cursed with your shyness, but after one embarrassing night, you decide it's time to change, and you believe someone might be able to help with that.

Summary: You get to know Eddie in a more intimate way, and he helps you with something you didn't think he would agree to. But friends always help eachother.

Listen to the kissing scene here, with AI Eddie.

A/N: Can't even begin to describe how happy you guys made me with all of your reblogs and boosting this story in ways I didn't think could be done! Welcome to all new followers, to all new readers and thank you for your support!

You can always support me by hitting the reblog button with tags, and I always enjoy reading your comments!

Taglist is closed - Follow me for updates and put notifications on!

PART 4

You ran out of coffee. That’s the first thing you noticed this morning as you got up and wanted your shot of caffeine. The fact you would have to go out to go get a cup of coffee before starting your day at work, was already making you whine with exasperation.

You had a coffee machine at home because you always liked some nice, steamy, cup of coffee as soon as you woke up, but, you forgot to get it last time you went grocery shopping, swearing you had some, knowing you had some, so your best guess was that Robin snuck in and took it, forgetting to tell you.

You both have copies of your keys, because that’s the one lucky thing of having a friend in the same complex. If something seems out of the ordinary, or something happens at all, you could always go and check on eachother. It was safe, and you both liked feeling safe by one another.

But there were times where Robin would sneak in while you were out or something, or even sleeping, and she would get stuff she doesn’t have. You could go do that to her as well, but she probably used it all by now, so it was no use. You know Robin’s got a sweet stash at her home, so you always invade her property to steal some Reeses or some Musketeers.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, wearing your Pikachu PJs and groaned, knowing you had to change out of the comfy clothes to get into restraining ones. You looked at the clock, 8:10. You had fifty minutes before you got into work, so you moved quickly to get dressed, with the new clothes you got during last week.

After that meeting with Eddie and his friends, you’ve been shopping during the week, sometimes with Robin, sometimes by yourself, and you actually quite liked picking up clothes that no one could judge in the changing room but you and you only. You’ve gotten blouses, tank tops, a lot of colors, skirts, even shorts you felt comfortable in.

But you also bought something you never thought you would buy. A black piece of lingerie. Seeing it against your body, made you feel powerful, there was the obvious insecurity at the back of your throat and your mind, trying to tell you that you would not use it, that you don’t need it, that you don’t even look like the mannequin where it was displayed.

But you still felt that power. And you wanted it. So you got it. As well as a black stiletto dress, some heels, some accessories. Yes, your credit card bill will be something next month, but it was the first time you shopped, pushing so many negative thoughts away, listening to your gut only.

So, right now, you put on some pair of jeans and a pink blouse over you, throwing on your white sneakers as well, since it was just a trip to the coffee shop that was two blocks away from your apartment complex. You grabbed your purse, threw your cell phone in there and off you went, walking into the morning sun and the soft summer breeze hitting your skin as you walked.

The days were getting hotter, and you were happy to have A/C in your apartment and mostly in your room, because that would have been agonizing. You could see people in suits walking to get the bus, or going straight to their workplace, and of course the old ladies that took their morning walks with their little dogs.

You reached the coffee shop, small, but it served coffee. You never came here, always opting to go to starbucks or another shop, because here, in this particular shop, there was always–

“Hello! What can I get for you?” Your eyes finally focused on the pair of green ones in front of you. A small knot appeared in your belly, as the nerves vacated in your throat, looking at the guy in front of you. He had black hair, and a bright smile on his face, the apron of the shop sitting on his waist.

You licked your lips as you felt your fingertips warming up, as well as your ears, looking up at the menu as your brain started working once more. You scanned your options and took a deep breath in, pushing yourself to look down towards the guy’s eyes once again.

“I would like a medium coffee, with half creamer in it please.” You respond to him, no shakiness in your voice, no stuttering, you didn’t even think of the words, or process anything, you just talked. And he was a handsome young man, probably beginning his 20’s, but his eyes were sharp green, yet, you didn’t feel like running away.

“Sure thing! To go?” Was his next question and you wanted to nod, because it didn’t require for you to speak really, but you still did, just to prove yourself, just to feel prouder and feel your chest gleam with victory.

“Yes, please.” You grabbed your purse and found your hands steady, a little bit of coldness at the tip of your fingers, but nothing like before. Nothing like you would have acted before. You grabbed your wallet and took out the money, and you looked at the bill in your hand and the counter. You raised your head up again, and put the money in front of you for him to take from your hand.

He smiled and grabbed the bill from the other end, and you felt yourself blush slightly as you saw he was about to give you change.

“Keep it.” It wasn’t much, but this had made your day insanely better, by a mile, and it didn’t even start yet. The sun was up, yes, but it was too early in the morning. The guy smiled at you again, giving you a nod.

“Thank you lovely.” Oh, a pet name. Your heart picked up a pace as you smiled back at him, and his back finally turned, letting you exhale a shaky breath out of your lips. Your stomach was knotting, but you kept your gaze up, hand on the counter as you waited for him to finish your coffee. There was a part of you that wanted to run away, but because you didn’t know what to take of that pet name. Eddie says them all the time, so it’s nothing special, right? It’s just a way of calling someone.

He turned around with your coffee in hand, and slid it over to you with a smile to his face, which you returned, despite feeling your neck burning from nervousness, and you grabbed your cup, putting the strap of your purse over your shoulder. You cleared your throat slightly and pushed your limits once again.

“Have a good day.” You say to him and he gives you a small chuckle and a nod.

“You too Miss!” And that was that. You turned around and walked out of the door, with a small ding as you opened it. You were wide eyed, a huge grin on your face as you walked, trying to keep your excitement inside. A month ago, you wouldn’t have done that, there was no way you would have done something like that! You looked at him, straight in the eye and even held a conversation! Tipped him!

You were panting heavily as you finally reached your complex, looking at the time on your phone as you headed to Robin’s apartment. You had 20 minutes before logging into work, and you couldn’t wait. You couldn’t contain it inside yourself. You fumbled with the keys on her lock, and rushed inside, pushing the door closed with your foot and dropping everything, the cup of coffee and your purse on Robin’s table.

You rushed towards her room, already hearing the intense snoring your friend has, and you opened her door to see her hugging her pillow, while drooling all over it, one leg over the comforter as she slept on her side. You bit your lip as you tiptoed to her right side, and then lightly shook her shoulder.

“Robin… Robs…” You tried waking her up and all you got was a soft snore and a grunt.

“5 more minutes and I’ll get ready mom…” You giggled under your breath and shook her harder.

“Robin, wake up, I have to tell you something!” You exclaimed a little louder this time, and that made her head prop up from her pillow, doing a slurping sound as she put her spit back in her mouth, her hair almost looking like a nest.

“What the fuck are you doing? Its–” She double tapped the phone on her nightstand and looked at the time through half lidded eyes. “Almost 9 AM! I work at 10 and I wake up ten minutes before logging in.” She grunted out to you and you were still smiling widely and shaking her shoulder.

“But I need to tell you something! Look what I got!” You rushed outside the room to go grab the forgotten cup of coffee and then rushed back towards Robin’s room to see her sitting up, rubbing her eyes while yawning. You showed her your cup and she just looked at you as if you were completely insane.

“You got… Coffee?” And her eyes slightly widened as she rubbed her eyes with her fingers, pinching them as frustration hit her. “I took the last of your coffee, shit, forgot to tell you.”

“Robin, no! I got it from the coffee shop two blocks down!” You tried again and she just looked at you with a confused look on her face.

“I don’t know why you woke me up for, but I do not appreciate it–”

“The barista was a guy!”

And Robin sat there, looking at you, blinking slowly as your news sank in. She knew about the guy at that coffee shop, she buys her coffee there, while you drive around to look for Female baristas, but now you bought coffee from the same place she does. It was a family business and the guy is the son of the owner.

“You bought coffee…”

“Yes.”

“From the barista, who is a man.”

“Yes, and I said thank you, tipped him, gave the money in his hand and even wished him a good day without driving my eyes away.” You puffed out your chest as you took a sip of your coffee which was now cold, making you wince in disgust.

Robin slowly started smiling widely at you and she plopped herself onto the bed again with a cheer, excitement blooming in her chest for you, because this now offered you possibilities, chances, and it opened so many doors for you, the possibility of thousands of paths you could take.

“Holy shit! GOD BLESS STRIPPERS!” She yelled out loud which made you choke on the coffee you were sipping, and then trying to shush her through your coughs.

“Robin, shut up!” You laughed as you placed your cup on her night table, sitting next to her as she just stared at the ceiling with a wild look on her face.

“This is huge! Like, now you can talk to strangers! Like, complete strangers without knowing their name! This is a big step!” She giggled as she looked up at you and you were smiling, feeling your cheeks heat up slightly because of how proud you felt of yourself.

“He even called me Lovely, and I didn’t flinch! I blushed of course, but I stood my ground.” You tell her, and she sat up, pinching your cheek tightly.

“I am so proud of you…” And you knew she meant it as you pushed her away from the assault on your cheek, rubbing it afterwards as you laughed at her, but Robin’s smile faded slightly as she looked down at her hands. “What about the other girls? When will you tell them that you’re doing this?” She asked and yes, you have been keeping this a secret therapy from the other girls in the group, but because you wanted to surprise them, and you also felt too much pressure on yourself if many people knew about this.

“When I get a date… I will tell them. I just feel like I have to make them proud if I do tell them, like I will force myself to move rapidly and not at my own pace.” You try to explain and gladly Robin understood, giving you a nod. Her smile returned but in the shape of a smirk as she scooted closer to you.

“You gonna tell Eddie?” You looked at her and you felt a burning happening on your ears, and you felt a cold sweat going from the bottom of your neck and running towards your chest. “You still going to his house after work?” Your eyes widened as you jumped up from the bed.

“WORK!” You rushed out of the bedroom, leaving a laughing Robin trying to catch her breath on her bed. Of course, she couldn’t go back to sleep from the excitement now, and the fact that you would be going to Eddie’s later on was making even more excited.

Because she wasn’t invited this time.

You fixed your half ponytail again as you stood in front of Eddie’s apartment door. You chose a different outfit now, jeans, wide leg this time, and a tight crop top white T-shirt, that covers your belly button of course. You had some bunky white sneakers on your feet, and you had done some eyeliner, mascara, and covered a few marks on your face that were here and there.

The butterflies in your stomach were going wild as you waited for him, hearing the thumping coming closer to the door. Fridays were Eddie’s day off, so it would be just the two of you in his apartment. You doubted on saying yes to this when he invited you over, but you two were friends, it was something normal to do. So why are you still nervous?

The door opened and you looked up to see Eddie smiling down at you and his eyes widened slightly as he looked at you.

“All this for me?” He motioned towards your outfit and you couldn’t help the small smile that came up to your lips as well as a blush spreading on your cheeks, not expecting his praise. He opened his arms for you, raising his eyebrow up, hiding behind his fringe, his hair in a high bun, with some strands falling on his face.

You saw the black shirt, tightening on his chest and biceps as he opened his arms. The guitar pick hanging from his neck, and the black ripped pants on his legs, followed by some combat black boots. You rocked a bit on your heels as you got closer to him, feeling your stomach slowly rising to your throat. He was smirking as he wrapped his arms around you, not too tight, but it was enough to invade you with warmth, and his cologne penetrated your nostrils, making you feel slightly dizzy.

You gulped heavily as you slowly placed your cheek on his chest, feeling the warmth on your skin growing hotter, stiffening all over as his arms pressed onto your shoulders to pull you closer.

“Your arms around me, return my amazing warm hug.” He joked, but he was actually quite nervous about this. He had told you in the last video call that he would like to greet you properly with a hug, and you agreed, after catching your breath a few times, but you did. He felt his heart beat slightly faster as your perfume invaded his sense of smell, noting the sweetness of it, but also the powerful punch to it.

You raised your arms, feeling them tremble slightly, slowly putting your hands against his waist, almost a brush, not putting pressure on your grip and Eddie shook his head, you could feel over yours, which was making your blush deepen even more as the butterflies in your belly were creating hurricanes and tornadoes from how wild they were flying.

“Your arms, not just your hands. Wrap your arms around me Sweetheart.” You closed your eyes at the vibration on his chest as he talked, taking another deep breath in, guiding your hands towards his back to finally wrap your arms around his waist. He chuckled and finally squished you into him, making you choke up at the sudden gesture, your chest pressing against his harshly, knocking the air out of your lungs.

“Eddie, what the fuck–” You choked out with a weak voice and he finally pulled away, laughing at your reaction as you took many deep breaths to get your lungs to decompress again.

“That’s a guy friend hug for you. Come on, I’ll prepare us some nice drinks, and guess what!” He said excitedly as you walked into his apartment, the blush still spread on your cheeks as you held your chest.

“What?” He pointed towards the coffee table in front of the couch, and there you saw the bowl of Nachos and different smaller bowls that contained salsas and dip sauces. Your face lit up as you rushed towards to sit on the couch, grabbing onto one chip and dipping it into the Guacamole he prepared, taking it with one big bite. If there was something you really loved, it was Guacamole, because it was fresh, yet rich in flavor. It was perfect.

Eddie was biting his bottom lip as he saw your eyes close in delight and he almost choked on his saliva as a soft moan vibrated on your throat. He wasn’t ready for that. He really was not prepared for that sound. It caught him completely by surprise and now it was something he won’t be able to erase from his head anytime soon.

“Good?” He asked and you opened your eyes to smile at him, still chewing on the chip, nodding your head excitedly. He chuckles at your response, happy with it, and heads over to grab some beers from the fridge, taking off the caps with a bottle opener that is magnetized to the fridge itself. He returned to you, sitting right beside you as he handed the bottle to you.

“Oh!” You hurriedly swallowed your chip as you raised the bottle to cheer. “I will cheer because today I was able to buy coffee from a shop that has a working… male barista.” You say proudly with a smile on your face and Eddie’s turns into shock, mouth falling agape at you.

“Seriously?” He asked and you smiled at him, nodding excitedly, repeating the same steps you did as when you told Robin about it. He was amazed by you, really, slowly becoming confident, in the way you talk, dress, and most importantly, you are confident in being yourself. You don’t change your way of speaking, or your topics, or what you like just to fit in. This is what mattered the most. “Well, fuck sweetheart, congratulations to that!”

You both cheered with a clink of your bottles and instantly started to dig away onto the chips. Eddie was mesmerized at how you could work from home, because it would allow you to do many things whenever you have a few minutes to spare, and he was right. You often cleaned the house, or played on your Switch.

“Please tell me you play Mario Kart.” He said and you smirked at his words, finding out that he too owns a switch. So that was quickly plugged in, and the matches began, one after the other, Eddie choosing Mario, while you chose Peach.

You won every game.

“This is rigged. It’s absolutely rigged.” He exclaims, putting his controller on the table with a loud thud as he sipped on his beer with an angry frown on his face, while you wore a wide smile on yours, putting the controller on the coffee table too.

“I am just better than you in this.” You say cockily, catching him by surprise but it was indeed something you are confident in, so he will accept you being a brat for now. He sighed, shaking his head.

“I beat my brother every time, and he is like a major video game nerd. Always gets mad that this is something he can’t beat me at.” He laughs as he slumps back against the couch and you stare at him, deciding to take off your shoes, to be able to sit and turn to look at him, propping your feet up on the couch, right under you, almost in a kneeling position.

“You mentioned your brother before, also a Lord of the Rings fan.” You say to him and he chuckles, looking at you with a smile to his face. He made an ‘oh’ sound and moved slightly towards you to be able to pull the phone out of his back pocket.

“A little shit I tell you.” He opened the gallery on his phone and went to look for the photos of last christmas. He found one and smiled as he looked at it, handing the phone to you.

You almost snorted your beer out of your nose as you held Eddie’s phone. Eddie was wearing the ugliest christmas sweater you had ever seen, in the color of greens and reds, reindeers all over it, while the guy next to him, with curly hair as well, but did not share any of Eddie’s facial features, wore a Rudolph sweater, and the nose was lit up.

“Well, these are… some nice sweaters!” You choke out, and he took the phone back, laughing from your reaction as he put his phone onto the table again.

“Yeah, his mom bought them for us.” He replied and that caught your attention. His mom. Not their mom. He noticed how you tilted your head at the word and he straightened up, looking at you. “My parents have been gone since I was 10. My uncle Wayne took me in, and it was just the two of us, living in a small trailer in Hawkins. Poor man had to sleep on a pull out bed in the living room so I could have my own room.” He said with a soft chuckle as he looked at his rings, playing with them as a bit of nerves filled his voice.

Talking about his past was not something he ever liked doing, but in order to strengthen his relationship with you, he knew that this conversation was coming at some point. He was glad he had alcohol to do it, even if the story of his life didn’t end as tragically as he thought it would.

“Bet he took good care of you.” You comment and Eddie simply nodded at that, a small smile appearing in his lips.

“Yeah, I was a son of a bitch though. In order for some bills to be paid, I sold drugs at school, you know just your friendly metal head weed dealer.” You looked down at that, not because of disappointment of him, but to know that he had it that rough in his teenage years was making your chest feel some kind of pressure that you were not enjoying.

“Sometimes people have to do things in order to survive.” You said this time and he smiled, taking your soft gesture at not making a big deal out of his past. He looked up at you with a smile to his face now, almost excitedly.

“But, when I was at a gig, playing with my band, I invited my Uncle and he showed up with a lady friend called Claudia. After that, they started dating, and I met my step brother, Dustin.” He positioned himself to begin talking with his hands from the excitement he was feeling and you were mesmerized by how entranced you were with him. “I mean, he is a nerd! Like me! Star Wars, Lord of the rings, Star Trek, Lost, The Walking Dead… We became inseparable just like that.”

You were smiling as you listened to him, he just seemed so happy about his family, about the person he is now, how despite it all he is still himself, not letting his circumstances change him or what he likes.

“You were in a band?” You asked him and he nodded at you, a small glint of sadness shining in his eyes for a second.

“Yeah, as you can see, I play guitar.” He said to you and motioned to one corner, where one electric guitar stood, a red one, and then next to it was an acoustic one. You nodded with an ‘oh’. “Apart from your job, what do you do?” You turned to him and frowned slightly as you thought about that.

You didn’t really have any hobbies, you just like to read, watch movies, play on your Switch every now and then, maybe baking sometimes when you feel inspired to do so, and now you feel a certain sense of embarrassment washing you over because of how boring you actually are. Think you are. You gazed down at your beer and fumbled with it with your fingers, clearing your throat.

“I– Uh… Don’t really do anything. I was as interesting as a slug, you know. Trying to just lay low, never really took an interest in anything.” Well that was depressing. Letting those words come out of your mouth, realizing that the person in front of you had a very exciting life, was slowly making you feel like curling into a ball and just staying there. Your brain was starting to work, and it began whispering things you didn’t want to hear, not with him.

‘You’re so boring, you should go.’

‘Why is he even friends with someone like you?’

“It’s okay to not have any interests. Better than having forced ones put on you.” You hear Eddie say as you look up to see him shooting a caring smile at you, your mind simply shutting off as you stared at him. “Steve for example, he was pushed to be captain of the Basketball team, Swimming Team, Soccer team… All because his parents wanted him to be the little star.” Eddie scoffed at that, shaking his head as he looked towards the living room.

“Really? And he didn’t want to do that?” You ask and Eddie simply laughs and shakes his head.

“Fuck no. Steve, believe it or not, fucking loves cooking. That guy can cook us a five star meal, out of thin air. He can make chicken nuggets taste like they were done by Gordon Ramsey himself.” You giggle at that, feeling your nerves slowly leaving your body as he talks to you.

“I have to try that, see if what you’re saying is true.” He laughs at that, and nods, taking a chip, dipping it into the Sour Cream and crunching on it.

“Yeah, ‘nd Billy? Billy was an asshole to Steve and I in high school. Also pushed over by his father to be the best of the school. Worse than Steve.” His expression turned sour at that, his smile falling as he looked at his beer. “When Steve and I found him on the street, with a concussion in his head… I think that’s when we decided we would take Billy with us, out of Hawkins.”

You were stunned to hear the story of these three men you met no more than a month ago, in the weirdest circumstance of all. You saw them almost naked, thinking that those three men would just be the snarkiest, or most flirtatious people you would ever meet, but there is always more under the skin, under the flesh, under any layer they had created to prevent from being hurt again.

“And… How did you… get the jobs you have now?” You asked him and he turned to you with a playful smile on his face.

“The first time we stepped on Indianapolis we got drunk, and went straight to a strip club, a female strip club. We were amazed by the amount of money they were getting on their thongs, like, I’m talking about thousands! We just looked at eachother and wondered if we had the power to do something like that… Turns out, we did.” He took a sip of his beer and got up to go fetch two new bottles as you put your empty one on the coffee table, taking hold of a chip.

“So, it’s not like a job you regret having.” You say to him and you hear him chuckle as two caps clinked onto the counter. He walked back towards you, handing you your third bottle of the night as he sat back next to you.

“Nah. It’s still work, and it pays really well, and you can also meet the strangest, yet greatest of people there too.” He says clinking his bottle on yours and you feel a blush coming up to your cheeks at that, smiling softly at him. His eyes were fixed on you, as you smiled and took a sip out of your bottle.

You are peeling your layers, one by one, slowly but surely becoming the person you probably always wanted to be, letting yourself be happy, and this goes beyond the talking to men thing. This was you finally having some confidence in yourself. Believing that you dressed nice, that you did your make up right, that you did your hair with confidence and you felt pretty in all of it.

Eddie was sure he was watching a butterfly coming out of their cocoon.

He cleared his throat and your eyes focused on him again as he shook his head to drive his attention away from you, just for a second. You tilted your head as you waited for him to talk, and after an ‘ah’ from his part, which made you giggle, he continued.

“So, let’s tackle the next scenario… What do you do on a date?” He asks you and you immediately straighten up, noticing the slight happy dizziness the alcohol was doing in your brain but you were still very much conscious, but your blood flow was betraying you, making you blush all over.

“W-What do you mean?” You ask, actually wanting him to be more specific, and he maneuvered his body to sit while facing you, just like you were doing with him.

“Well, what do you talk about? Do you know how to make a move?” You were supposed to make moves yourself? You slowly shook your head at him and he sighed at you. “Well, for example, on a date, you talk about very superficial stuff. Work, movies, food, music. That’s really the basic stuff.” You were mentally taking notes of that with a nod to your head.

“So, no talks about… politics, family, religion?” You ask him and he laughs at you, his dimples dipping into his cheeks and you felt the burning on your ears again as you saw his smile while he shook his head.

“No. And nothing deep either… A little bit of what we just did now, but less intimate. I ask about your workplace, you ask about mine. You ask about my hobbies, I ask about yours. Keep it simple and short, maybe throw a little funny story here and there about stuff.” You raised your eyebrow at that, confused by what he might mean.

“A funny story?” You ask him and he nods at you.

“Like, for example, when I asked you about your friends and you told me about Robin and the Raccoon, which it’s still very funny to imagine it till this day.” He says with a chuckle and you follow him with a giggle, catching onto what he was saying.

“Got it, funny works.” He nods at that, and you feel him getting closer to you.

“Alright, now… Normally, on dates, the men do not make any physical moves to show interest. That’s the lady’s job. If we are already engaging in a conversation with you, we are already interested, we are as simple as that… But a woman, you have to let us know you are interested, and that is all done with body language.” He finished and you were just blinking, almost wide eyed as he stared right back at you.

“B-Body language?” You ask him and he immediately laughs at your reaction, shaking his head.

“I’m not talking about pouncing on the guy. Look, I’m gonna touch you, okay?” He says this time and that for some reason sent a shiver down your spine, and you felt uncomfortable so you moved your legs a bit as he scooted closer. “Okay, so, one common move is laughing and placing your hand on the bicep.”

“Oh, I’ve seen that in a movie! Wait, that actually works?” You ask tilting your head slightly and he smiles at you, nodding his head.

“Like a charm. You just–” He made a funny laugh, sort of a Santa Claus one, making you laugh as well as he moved back and then forward again, putting his hand on your left bicep, running his fingers down for just one second and pulling back again. You felt the area where he touched grow hot, and you bit your bottom lip at how easy he was making this look. “You touch for a second, do not linger more than that, because that would be too obvious, or too desperate.”

“Oh? I mean, isn’t the whole idea of it for guys to know that I am interested though?” You asked and he nodded slightly to then shake his head afterwards.

“Yes and no. It’s confusing, but we do like a little bit of a chase. If we get it too easily, our interest kind of… fades away.” You grimaced at his words, showing him a look of slight disgust.

“And you guys say we are the complicated ones.” You say, taking a sip of your beer and he widens his eyes, looking at you, putting his arm along the backrest of the couch, towards you.

“Hey, we are very simple! In many, many aspects, sweetheart.” You were still facing him, biting onto the inside of your left cheek, trying to hide the smirk as you squinted at him.

“Like what? Throwing big rocks into a lake and rate the splash?” You ask as your left hand starts to slowly creep up on the back rest, without him noticing, a laugh vibrating in his throat at your words.

“Exactly, we just like a little bit of a struggle, that’s all. It makes the tension grow between you and your date.” He explained and your fingers found their way onto his right forearm which were still resting onto the backrest towards you. You hummed at that, taking a sip of your beer.

“But, wouldn’t you risk losing the date? What if you take too long and don’t give in in time?” You ask him as your fingers start to trace onto his bat tattoo, still looking at him. Your heart was beating with excitement as you saw him shiver slightly but was still not realizing you were touching him at all.

“We always give in, it’s at the third move that–'' He shivered again and his eyebrows knitted together as he felt the tingling sensation on his forearm. He looked at it and saw you passing your nails on his tattoos, and his belly twisted, simply and aggressively twisted. His intestines were knotting with each other and he was sure his brain short circuited. You were touching him. You were deliberately touching him, flirting with confidence, and you made sure he didn’t notice.

How long have you been touching him like that? And why does it feel so good when it’s just your nails brushing against his skin, tracing the drawings that were inked on him, and you weren’t even batting an eye at that. He slowly turned to look at you, and that’s when he saw your amused face, biting on your tongue as you smiled at him. A laugh started coming up on his throat, as his nerves flew away from his fingers.

“Shit, that was smooth Princess.” And to his dismay, you put your hand away, taking a sip of your beer. He was still staring at your movements, completely entranced. He was feeling his heart about to burst and he looked down at his beer, deciding this would be the last one for the night. Yep. It would be the last one.

“Thank you, I saw it on Friends.” You say with a wiggle of your eyebrows and he finally let out a cackle, amazed that you tried on a move from a tv show on him, and that it actually worked. He was slightly flustered and maybe that had to do with the alcohol in his system as well.

Your laughing slowly faded away as you looked down at your beer. The dread of the possibilities of what would happen after a move being made could trigger. Possibilities you weren’t sure if you’ve done right. Things you don’t know if you ever did, and what if it were done to you?

“Okay, what’s going on in that head of yours now?” Eddie asks, slightly worried at the change of expressions you just had. Were you regretting something? Maybe touching him?

“What if it goes well?” Was your simple question. Eddie blinked at that, not fully understanding what you were asking.

“What if… what goes well?”

“I-I mean, what if– What if the date goes well? What if–” You were a blushing mess, almost sweating as you tried to word your thoughts out without sounding like a child, without sounding pathetic, looking everywhere but his face. But Eddie’s eyes softened, looking at you, seeing you stammer in your words, trying to let them out of your mouth with no luck, but he knew exactly what you wanted to ask.

“You mean if he kisses you?” Your breath caught in your throat at that and you hid your face into your hands in shame. You’ve kissed before, but was it ever good? Was it enjoyable? Did you do it right? Did they do it right? You knew you didn’t put much effort into them because you just weren’t attracted to the people you’ve kissed, you just wanted the experience to be over with, just like your virginity.

But kissing someone attractive, you’ve never done that.

“Yeah… I mean– I can do it but… I don’t know if I did it right…” You said almost in a whisper, ashamed of your words, of being 25 years old and still worry about your kissing skills. Voicing your worries to a man that’s done more kissing than you did in your whole life, much more, way more. Eddie frowned at your words, and shifted on his seat, raising his hand up to put it under your chin for you to look at him. You slowly locked eyes with his and the feel of his hand on your skin, just made your butterflies flutter all inside of your belly, your head getting lighter at the touch. He smiled gently at you, pulling his hand away.

“Sweets, one thing you have to understand is… Attractive people don’t have superpowers.” He says to you and you frowned at that in confusion, tilting your head to the side while looking at him.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, just because a person is hot, doesn’t mean they are experts at everything. You can find hot people that are lousy kissers, bad at flirting, horrible at sex, like, finish in two seconds and that’s that. Hot people that are assholes, like certified with a capital A… Just because you find someone attractive, doesn’t mean they have more experience than you, in any way.”

You drank in his words, processing them in your head. You never thought of it like that, not ever. You just thought that people that are attractive have more chances of experiences, and that leads them to have some practice. Eddie was looking at how you were absorbing that information, and he noticed how your shoulders lost their tension, slumping down a bit on your body.

He was feeling the buzz of the beer as he took a sip from it and put it on the coffee table, a warmth expanding on his body as he scooted just one jump closer to you, which made you look at him again.

“I’ll tell you a secret, and you won’t tell them I told you okay?” He starts and you nod slowly at that, straightening up once again to listen to him. He smiled at you and continued. “So, you saw Steve. Fucking handsome right? With that hair, the freckles, fucking lady killer.”

“Y-Yeah.” You nodded slightly at that, feeling the anxiety of admitting Steve was hot not as painful as it once would have been.

“Yeah, he couldn’t kiss for shit.” Eddie says with a smile and your eyes widened at that, not believing what he was saying. A man like Steve? Not knowing how to kiss?! “You’re looking at me like I’m lying, but I swear I’m not. When we first started working at the club, and Steve kissed clients, they would complain to Joyce that he was too sloppy, too much saliva.”

“Oh god…” You giggle as you take a sip from your beer, wincing in disgust at the thought of a kiss with overloading saliva. Eddie laughed at that, nodding.

“Yep… He was so bummed out because he wanted to be one of the favorites and he knew that if he didn’t kiss he wasn’t going to get it. So… Billy helped.” You spat your drink away from Eddie at that and he started laughing hysterically at your reaction. Your eyes were almost bulging out of your sockets as you listened to that.

“Are you joking!?” He shakes his head at you, still laughing, his shoulders shaking up and down at the motion.

“Fuck no. Imagine my fucking shock when I came in here and I found them making out on the kitchen. It was traumatizing.” He says and your eyes were still like plates as you stared at him. “They aren’t dating if that’s what you are going yo ask, Steve is bisexual but Billy is straight. He just wanted to help Steve.” You blinked rapidly at that, and gave one nod, frowning at that. Friends helped eachother like that?

“So, that makes Billy a good kisser then.” You say and Eddie nods with a shrug.

“That must be, BUT, Billy was very forceful when handling the clients. Pulling their chairs, or turning them, or grabbing their shoulders. He really didn't know how to treat them.” He says and you tilted your head with a surprised ‘oh’ on your lips. Now what Eddie was saying about everyone, despite how they looked, had flaws was making more sense to you.

“So, Steve taught him to be gentle?” You asked and Eddie smirked, shaking his head and pointing at himself.

“Nope. That would be me. I taught him how to pull a chair with force but not a violent one, or how to grab a chin or a shoulder without digging his digits into the skin.” He explains and you were just staring at him, nodding at every word he was saying. You licked your lips as the nerves started forming a lump in your throat, looking down at your bottle of beer which was half empty by now.

“So, that would make you… Flawless?” You try to giggle and Eddie couldn’t help but feel his chest warm at your slight praise, but he was far from what you just said. He shook his head and smiled at you.

“Hell no… I couldn’t dance for shit.” He says to you and you raise your head up in complete surprise. “I didn’t know how to move my hips like Channing Tatum does, and Steve was the one to help with that. You might have noticed that night that out of the three of us, Steve is the one that moves the most.” You shook your head nervously at that, looking at the empty bowl of chips on the coffee table.

“That night is still kinda hazy, but I remember one thing or two.” You were sure you were a deep red now, remembering Steve on his knees as he prayed to Nancy, Billy’s hip grinding against Barb, and Eddie’s kiss and fingers down someone’s throat.

“So, yeah, we all have flaws, and we all have experience and inexperience.” He finishes saying, looking up at the ceiling, not noticing how you put the beer on the table, sitting up straight now, not facing him, your feet back on the floor as you fumbled with your hands on your knees.

The knots in your belly now turned into painful vines, full of thorns as your body burned in anticipation. You knew this would cross a line, you knew this was a big step, and you knew this was not right, and for some reason, you knew this would be a mistake.

But, there is also a part of you that knows you want this. And that part is winning over all of the other things that were stopping you.

“S-So… You guys helped each other.” You began talking and he shrugged, still looking up at the ceiling as he rested against the backrest of the couch.

“Yeah, cause we’re friends. It’s what friends do, have each other's back.” You nodded at that, slowly as you gulped down the lump that was forming in your throat and your feet turned cold.

“Friends…” You were almost breathing heavily, your nails digging onto your knees as your heart started beating into your ears, hearing every thump of it as it rapidly made your blood flow to every inch of your body. “A-And… We’re friends… right?”

Eddie’s eyes almost came out of his skull because of how wide he just stared at the ceiling. Were you actually asking him what he thought you were asking? Nah, it couldn’t be possible. It wasn’t real, right? He slowly looked down and you were already looking at him, jumping slightly as he locked eyes with you, making you flinch your gaze away in embarrassment.

He was still trying to understand that what you were asking was real. You wanted his help, but he was fighting with himself because he didn’t want you to think he was taking advantage of you for trusting him. He really didn’t want you to think that. But if you were the one asking…

“Sweets, are you asking me what I think you are asking me?” He asks, and he wants verbal confirmation, even if it takes you an eternity to say it, he will wait. His chest was hurting from how fast his heart was beating into it, and he wanted to punch it to make it calm down. You were a friend asking for help, he has to get a hold of himself.

“I-It’s stupid, don’t worry, f-forget what I just said!” Your mind was telling you to run away. You crossed the line, you fucked it up. Why would he want to kiss you anyways? You weren’t anything special, just a friend, and he kissed beautiful women almost every night. You were inexperienced, and you would probably fuck it up, completely and he would laugh at you, or what if he winces in disgust at you? What if–

“Darling, darling, darling… Calm down.” You felt his hand on your knee and your eyes looked down to your lap, not realizing that your legs had been jumping up and down uncontrollably. Your breathing was slightly heavy as you shook your head still looking down.

“I-I shouldn’t have– I mean– We’re-We’re friends–” And Eddie wasn’t going to let you belittle yourself. He knew what was coming next, so he stopped your rambling with just his voice.

“Honey, I would be honored to help you with this.”

Your body froze all of its movements. Your legs, your quivering lips, the digging of your nails on your jeans, and even your heart steadied itself, almost non beating. His hand was still on your knee and you saw him pulling it back to himself as he waited for you to reincorporate yourself.

Did he say honored? Why would he be honored? You have to stop thinking, you have to stop. You need to push the thoughts away, he said he will help you, it’s just that. Help. It doesn’t mean anything else, but a friend helping another friend. Nothing more. It’s nothing more.

You slowly turned your head to face him and he was wearing a soft encouraging smile as he looked at you. He wasn’t going to show his nervousness, and he didn’t even know what he was nervous about. He has kissed plenty of women in his lifetime, but you, for some reason, were making his knees tremble slightly, as well as feeling like bending over from the constant knot in his stomach.

“You okay?” He asked you and you were still looking at him, face red as you tried to mumble out words.

“Y-You’re sure you want to… kiss me?” You asked him and his eyebrows turned into a frown at your question. He knew there was more to it than simply asking him if he wanted to kiss a friend to help her. He knew there was something deeper behind those words, something darker.

“Darling, you’re fucking beautiful, I’d be more than honored to kiss you.” He said with a fist pump in the air to try to ease up the tense situation and it seems it worked, because you let out a soft huff, almost a giggle, and he saw your fingers no longer digging on your jeans. He took a deep breath in and positioned himself, sitting next to you, but facing you, crossed legs under him. “Okay, I need you to, first, let yourself go.”

He put his arms out and started shimming all over, just moving all his arms and body erratically as if trying to get a bug away from him. You laughed at his movements and sat in the same position, facing him and shaking yourself to lose the tension on your body, making him laugh at you, scanning you all over for a second as you joined him in the laughter.

This moment right here between you two, was too easy, too natural, and it felt as if it were right, and it had always been destiny that you two should meet. He was enjoying this moment with you, finally something different in his daily life. His calls with you, whenever you show him a new piece of clothing you got for yourself, and it wasn’t only with him.

Steve and Robin talked privately too, but it was as if they were soulmates, long lost souls that should have been together a long time ago. Platonically. He wondered if that was the same with you. If your relationship was platonic of some sort, only focused on it being friendship… And there’s another part of him that wished it wasn’t that.

“Right so… I’m going to start slow, okay? So first things first.” He grabbed your hand gently, pulling it up towards his lips to finally press them against your knuckles. You took a sharp intake of breath at that, feeling him against your skin in this way was something you were not really prepared for. You shivered at his touch, and you felt your belly just yearning for more, your mind no longer wanting to run away. He lingered his lips there, looking at your reaction until you met his eyes again and you took a deep breath in with a nod.

Eddie now knew you were okay with his touch, putting your hand down once again. He licked his lips in anticipation as he looked into your eyes who were looking at him with expectation, waiting for his next move. He raised his hand up towards your right cheek and leaned forward. Your breath completely stopped as you felt your stomach just contract on itself, shutting your eyes tightly and bracing for what he was going to do, until you felt his lips press gently onto your left cheek.

It was burning your skin almost.

“No need to act so pained about it.” He let out a nervous chuckle out of his lips as he saw your scrunched up face. You opened your eyes to see him looking at you again, and dropping his hand down from your face. “Okay, now, I want you to reciprocate that. Kiss my cheek, I’ll close my eyes so you can be comfortable.”

When Eddie closed his eyes, you couldn’t help but stare at him. He just looked way too beautiful, untouchable almost, tingles going from the bottom of your neck to the tip of your fingers. Your heart was painfully beating into your chest cavity as you slowly leaned in, keeping your eyes open just to not miss the spot on his left cheek. You had to press your hands on his knees to keep yourself stable as your lips inched closer to his skin.

You held your breath in as you finally pressed your flesh with his, yours soft, plump against a warm cheek that was tinting itself in a pink hue. You let the air leave your lung as you rapidly sat back in place, taking your hands away from his knees. He gulped heavily as he composed himself, opening his eyes to look at you.

Your eyes were on your lap as you fumbled with your fingers, and he wanted to laugh, almost giggling he could say at how red you were looking. But he wasn’t going to do that, because you were doing good, great even, but now comes the difficult part, one of the few.

“That was soft sweetheart, thank you.” You almost whined at the praise but because you just felt getting redder and redder from embarrassment and adrenaline. You slowly looked up at him, and you suddenly saw the hint of nervousness cross his features, making your eyebrows twitch in confusion. “Um… Now, I will give you a peck on the lips. You can close your eyes this time, and then I want you to give one back to me, that okay?”

Oh, your breathing quickened at that. You clenched your fists tightly, closing your eyes as you nodded at him, barely, but he could figure it out. He raised a hand up, and he noticed the particular shakiness at the tip of his fingers, frowning at them because he never twitched. He never trembled. He never got nervous. He held onto your left cheek and you jumped slightly at the touch, not expecting it and you tightened your lips together. He chuckled with a shake of his head.

“Don’t tighten your lips. Relax angel, it’s just me.” He softly says and the way his voice sounds on your ears, make you actually slump a little bit, relax your muscles as well as your lips. He looked down at them, feeling his breathing quicken its pace, but he held those breaths in, trying to not show how he was feeling to you, which he didn’t even know what feelings he was feeling himself.

He leaned down, pulling your face towards him, slowly and agonizingly. You wanted to open your eyes to see how far he was from you, as your belly just screamed at you to lean closer, but you stayed put. Waiting, and after what felt like ages, in the darkness behind your eyelids, you finally felt his lips connect with yours. A sharp intake of breath was taken on your part due to the shock, and also because of how surprisingly soft he was being. A soft subtle moan vibrated in your throat at the touch and he had to contain the urge to move his lips on yours, wanting to devour you. Your hands itched with the need of grabbing onto him, and it was shocking you because you never felt this. You never felt the need for more.

Because that’s all you could think about now. More. You wanted more.

He pulled away from you, the peck being only for one or two seconds but to the two of you seemed like minutes. He opened his eyes at the same time you opened yours and he swears that he felt an electric shock run down his body as his pupils connected with yours. Your breaths were mixing with one another, because Eddie was still in your space, noses almost touching.

He pulled away from you, causing you to exhale a deep sigh you didn’t know you were holding in, and he dropped his hand from your cheek. He ignored the lingering burning sensation that was left on his palm as he gazed at you once again, a soft smile spreading on his lips.

“You okay?” He asked you and you could only nod. He chuckled at your reaction and scooted closer, now knees touching. “Alright, your turn.”

Fuck, that made all of your consciousness return to you in one big slap. It was your turn to kiss him. But you could do it right? It was just a peck, just a quick peck. You could do that, it was something fast, just like he did to you. You couldn’t feel your fingers as you raised your hand up to cup his left cheek. You scrunched your eyes closed and leaned in, quick, pulling him as well, but you felt him fight against your grip and you opened your eyes to see him squinting at you.

“What–”

“Slower. If you come at me that fast you are gonna knock our teeth out Angel. Just go slow, no need to be quick.” And there was a part of him that just said that to be able to be in this moment for a little longer. You felt embarrassed at his scolding and you wanted to pull away, feeling completely pathetic and childish for your actions. You took a deep breath in again as you continued to lean in, but this time slower, pulling him towards you in the same manner, gentler and he was content with that.

You closed your eyes when your lips brushed his, and he kept them open just before you pressed your lips to his to look at your face. You weren’t scrunching your eyebrows, or grimacing in pain or discomfort, so he knew you were okay right now. He closed his eyes after a second and you just wanted to stay there. Your lips on his, as your palm rested on his cheek, your nails wanting to dig in his flesh to pull him even closer.

You didn’t know if this would feel like this with every man you would kiss later on, you hoped it did. You hoped this wasn’t just happening with Eddie, because he is just a friend. That’s all he was. A friend helping another friend.

You pulled away after another second, dropping your hand from his face and this time you didn’t gaze towards your lap again. You kept staring at his face, waiting for his eyes to open, your chest now burning for the next move.

His brown eyes connected with yours again, and he smiled reassuringly at you, as if telling you that you were doing good, that everything was fine, and that you were safe with him at this very moment. You took a deep breath in, giving him a small smile in return, feeling your cheeks aching thanks to the amount of blood that is pooled there.

“Alright… Next is the tricky part. I’m going to move my lips against yours this time. When I kiss your top lip, you kiss my bottom lip, and then the other way around.” You know how kissing works, you’re not an idiot. You have done it before just the way he describes it, but the question always lingered if you were any good at it. If you were too pushy, or too soft, or too slow, or too quick.

You took a deep breath in to brace yourself, and exhaled, giving him a nod for him to continue. Now, Eddie was almost sweating. He didn’t want to feel that way towards you, but he was still a man, and you were beautiful. A very beautiful woman. So of course his body will react, he just has to remind himself that you are just a friend and that you need help.

And he is just helping.

He raised both of his hands up this time and your eyes almost went wide when he cupped your face in between them, getting a sense of feeling trapped but in a good way. The coldness of his rings and the warmth of his palms filled you with a sense of peace. You felt safe. You started hearing a buzz in your ears, knowing it was the intense flow of blood that was going all over your body, as the anxiety in your stomach was almost ripping its way out, wanting to break your skin, or wanting to crawl up into your throat.

“Lean in with me sweetheart.” He commanded and your eyes were burning, your hands moving towards his knees again, trembling fingers finding the skin in the rips of them, your breathing hitching as you both moved towards one another, his fingers softly getting in between your hair, palms on your cheeks still and you closed your eyes.

He took a gulp, closing his eyes right after you, feeling your nails digging into the skin of his knees, softly scratching at him, almost desperately and he didn’t know if you were eager or nervous, but you were leaning in, and that was a good enough sign for him to press his lips against yours again, this time, with more pressure than before.

Your heart soared, beating wildly but not because of complete nervousness or because you wanted to run away from it, but because you were content. Content because you weren’t sweating out of a panic, content because you didn’t feel like fainting, content because the dizziness you were feeling was because of the rush, the adrenaline, the excitement of it all.

His lips finally moved on yours, and you let your instincts kiss him back, following his lead. He was being gentle, slow, lips between lips and the smacking of them being heard all over the apartment. Your fingers were gripping on his knees as if your life depended on it, to keep you grounded to earth. There was a part of your brain that was telling you that friends shouldn’t do this, that friends do not kiss each other, not even for practice.

But maybe those thoughts were wrong, because here you were, and Eddie’s self control was slipping. He wanted to move to the next step, but he wanted to properly warn you, he really wanted to, but with the way you were touching him, and the way you were tenderly moving your lips with his, was slowly but surely making him lose his composure of being a good friend.

He had to be quick then, because you seemed into it, and if you stopped you might become nervous again and it will take more time for you to prepare yourself. He kept moving his lips on yours, your heads moving from side to side and you felt like you were being kissed like they do in the movies. Romantical and gentle. But something was slowly snapping inside of you, something that was clawing its way back in your throat.

More. You wanted more.

He pulled away but his hands were kept in place, his lips remained over yours as the heavy breathing of each other mixed in between you both. You opened your eyes to meet his, and he saw the hazy look in your eyes, the same look he must be having right now, and you might not even know how you are looking at him, but he knows how he is looking at you. And it was different, different than before. Way different.

“I’m gonna go further now, stop me if you’re uncomfortable.” Before you could even formulate any sentence, think of anything at all, his lips crashed against yours, this time, more forcefully than before, and it shot another feeling inside of you. It was something you didn’t experience before, something that made you magnetized to him, and you cannot pinpoint what name to give it.

You moved your lips against his, following his movements, and your eyebrows shot up in surprise when you felt his tongue brush against your lower lip, gently, asking for entrance. This was the part where your inexperience might show, and you didn’t want to disappoint him, not when he was making you feel like this, not when he was the first person to kiss you like this.

You felt him rub your right cheek gently with his thumb, trying to soothe you down, telling you that you can still stop him. But you wanted anything but that. So despite your guts trying to make you bend over in pain, despite your brain throwing red signs all over to make you run away, and despite your heart beating so fast you were sure he would be able to hear it, you slowly opened your mouth, letting him in.

And he was so grateful for it.

His tongue slowly sneaked in between your lips, meeting with your nervous tongue. He moved, gentle and slow, small swirls which you danced with him harmoniously. He let out a huff of breath through his nose, trying to swallow a grunt because your hands had gone up to grip onto his thighs now, pulling yourself closer to him, and deeper into the kiss.

You were a good kisser, even in your nervousness, even if you told him you didn’t know if you were even doing it right, you smashed all of that in one second. One of his hands went deeper into your scalp, running his fingers through your hair as he felt the temperature of the room start to rise up. Your tongue was magical on him, so tender and delicate, yet he could hear the soft little moans that vibrated in your throat at every harsh movement he did on you. He could feel his pants starting to strain, and he cursed himself for being so easy to rile up, or maybe cursing at himself for wanting to–

The door opening caught both of your attention, your eyes widening as you both pulled away as quickly as you could. Panting heavily as you looked at one another, not even knowing for how long you have been making out with each other. It felt like seconds, but probably minutes had passed.

“Well, shit, did we interrupt something?” Billy asks with Steve standing next to him with a bag over his shoulder. Your whole body turned red and you squealed as you hid your face in your hands, wishing for the earth to swallow you whole. They saw you. They saw you kissing Eddie. Your friend. Oh god, what will they think? You thought you were an idiot, a very big idiot.

“I uh–” Eddie was at a loss of words and he looked at his friends. He knew you were feeling utterly embarrassed at this moment, so he knew he had to ease the situation up a bit. “We were practicing kissing.”

And that made you even more embarrassed, your head shooting up to smack Eddie on the arm. Why would he tell them that?! Now they know you have no experience in that department and that Eddie was helping you gain confidence in it. Great. You shook your head, becoming more overwhelmed each second that passed.

“No need to hit me! You are a good kisser, despite what you thought.” Eddie brushed his arm as Billy and Steve walked over to the two of you. You groaned into your hands as you felt the heat of your face transfer onto your palms, and your guts were turning, the feeling of nausea slowly filling your stomach.

“Well, I bet it went better than with Harrington over here.” Billy glared at his friend as Steve blushed all over and pointed at you.

“Dude, she doesn’t need to know about that–”

“Actually…” Eddie begins with an innocent dimpled smile on his face and Steve became red in anger, ready to start going at his best friends but a giggle was heard in the room and they all turned to you.

You were laughing into your hands, and the situation that had mortified you now was making you laugh because of their bantering. They weren’t judging you, not you, nor Eddie because they had been through it. They helped each other out with things that were either weird or too bizarre, yet they did it because they’re friends.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh.” You say, as you raise your head up again, locking eyes with Eddie who had a playful glint in them and both of you laughed with each other, or at each other, you didn’t know, but just having this moment with him felt nice, it felt as if nothing had changed. No awkwardness, no weirdness, nothing that makes you feel uncomfortable, or him for that matter.

He was still Eddie, and you were still you.

“Alright, hang on, I have a question.” Steve suddenly says, putting the bag with clothes down. He was still sweaty from work, his hair back with a small half ponytail. Eddie and you stopped laughing and looked at Steve to keep talking. “My question is, are you fine with kissing someone you trust, or are you fine with kissing men in general?” Your smile dropped at that, the thought being processed in your head.

You didn’t even think about that. What if kissing Eddie was easy, or kind of easy, because you trusted him? What if you were able to just because you can confide that part of yourself to him, because he is your friend? Will that happen with the men you meet?

“What Steve is trying to say is that when you go on a date, you don’t trust each other on the first one, but you might kiss, maybe something else.” He said with a wiggle of his eyebrows, earning a glare from Eddie’s part, and you gazed away from that dirty joke.

Steve stood there for a second, thinking and then he took out his phone to open his music player and choose a song from there. ‘Stereo Love’ started sounding from the speakers and you winced at the nostalgia of the song, Eddie chuckling at it and Billy simply rolling his eyes. Steve puts the phone on the coffee table and urges you to get up from the couch.

“Come on, let’s try something.” And you gave Eddie a confused look before doing as Steve says, following him to the middle of the living room as Billy took your place on the couch, dropping himself on it and grunting in relief. Eddie’s eyes were focused on you as you stood in front of Steve.

“Harrington, what are you–” Eddie tried to talk but he was stopped by one look from Steve. His chest was not liking where this was going but he remained quiet as Steve started swaying side to side.

“Okay, so, I imagine that you go to clubs, and guys approach you, right?” He asks and you look down, playing with your fingers as you talk back to him.

“The girls always pushed them away before they could talk to me.” You reply and Steve only scoffs at that and shakes his head. He dances all around you, on your side, behind you, on the other side, as he talks.

“Well, now you will let them talk to you. He is a complete stranger, just coming right up, dancing, and introducing himself.” He stops right in front of you, with a smirk to his face and your eyes slightly widened as his friendly expressions were exchanged by sultry ones. “Do you like this song?”

“Um, a little old but yes, I do.” You responded to him and he just kept the grin to his face as his movements started making him come closer, and closer to you.

“Hi, I’m Steve.” You were already blushing at the roleplaying but he was right, what will happen when you start trying to date someone? You won’t kiss them on the first date? You won’t show your attraction to them? You won’t make a move?

“Hi, I’m Angel.” You reply with a small smile on your lips and Eddie’s eyes widened. You were flirting, and you were flirting with Steve with a pet name he gave you, and you only. He gulped heavily as you swayed closer to him.

“That’s a very pretty name, just as gorgeous as the bearer of it.” He winks at you and you almost lose your willpower at that. With Eddie was different, way different. It was a different type of nervousness, a different type of adrenaline, a different type of excitement. This was just nervousness.

So maybe, Steve was right.

Before you could respond, Steve’s lips crashed onto yours, and Billy was studying your body language. You went rigid, frozen, eyes completely wide at the action. He could see the slight bit of paleness starting to drain your cheeks and he was about to call out Steve to pull away, but then your eyes closed, and your lips moved against his.

You noticed the difference with Eddie’s kiss. With Eddie’s, your mind shut off, didn’t even think about anything else and just let yourself feel, feel him, feel his lips on yours, his skin on yours. And now, Steve’s, you were conscious of how your lips were moving, and wondering if you were causing an impression or not.

Steve pulled away after a few seconds to study your face and do a whole check over, before cheering with delight and clapping for you with pride.

“You kissed me back, you didn’t faint, you flirted with me… Yep, you’re cured honey!” Steve says excitedly and you couldn’t help but feel excited with him. It was a big step, a huge change in your life. Even if the nerves were still there, the anxiety was still deep in your belly, and the thoughts sometimes appeared in your head to speak horrible things to you, you finally didn’t let them control your body.

You were finally cracking your shell open.

And as you cheered, you didn’t notice the pair of brown eyes that were looking at you.

“Munson… You’re going to break the cushion.” Billy says, without even looking at Eddie and the metal head looked down at the cushion of the couch, seeing his fist gripping tightly onto it, almost ripping through the fabric, his knuckles a bright shade of white from how hard he was clenching them, rings digging into his fingers. He also noticed the tense movements on his jaw and he realized that he had been clenching it tightly shut since Steve pressed his lips on yours.

Your lips that had his minutes before. Your tongue that danced with him, your body that touched him, his hands that were on you, your body heat invading his, and his jagged breaths invading your mouth. He had you first.

You were his, first.

You turned to look at Eddie, with a smile on your face and he tried to return the smile to you, fighting the uncomfortable feeling that was happening in his belly, trying to push away all the negative thoughts, but then he remembered the look in your eyes just before he leaned in to kiss you again. He was looking at you in the exact same way, and hope rose in his chest, because the eyes you were looking at him with, were full of lust.

And you might not even know or realize you were looking at him like that. You probably never once felt lustful towards someone. You probably never had that need of wanting someone so badly that you might explode.

But Eddie, Eddie was feeling it right now. He was feeling it alright, and had been feeling it ever since he saw you in that tight purple dress. He felt it when you smiled at him for the first time on video camera. He felt it when you introduced him to your favorite pizza. He felt it when you beat him up in Mario Kart. He felt it when you had called him beautiful. And now, he felt it when he finally had a taste of you.

Oh how he wanted you.

Eddie really, absolutely, desperately wanted you.

End of part 4

A/N: I really do hope you all enjoyed this chapter, your comments always make me happy... we can all feel the tension building, can't we? Just a peek, next chapter will be spicy.

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eighttens · 14 days ago

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Elevatorcrush!Yunho x reader

Synapses: so… maybe you’re kind of a stalker, but who wouldnt be over a guy like that?!

Note: inspired heavily by Yunho‘s forehead, lord praise the stylists for letting it breathe this comeback!!!! I love it so much he looks too good im not normal about him at all. Hope you enjoy, please dont be a silent reader- share your thoughts and if you have ideas PLEASE REQUEST MY INBOX IS OPEN!!!!

You had a confession to make. You took the elevator in your apartment complex every chance you could get. Not for any medical or physical needs, not because you were too lazy to take the stairs, not because your bag is heavy, no. None of that. It’s all because of him.

The first few times you saw he didn’t really register in your brain. You only took in his towering height and slender form before focusing on whatever else was on your mind again. Probably because the first few times you really were always too tired to climb the seven flights to your floor.

You’ve taken notice of him again and again since then though. He looked to be a few years, three or four at most, older than you, and judging by the briefcase you thought he worked in some higher profession. The business casual style also doesnt stop your fantasizing, quite the opposite actually. You wont lie, you’ve imagined once or twice what he works as; a doctor? A lawyer? Dare you imagine, a professor? The thought alone makes your head swirl, so you’re quick to dismiss it every time.

Since you started paying more attention to the people (person) on the elevator with you, you may or may not have started to synch up your routines with a certain man your eyes find time and time again. You didnt know much about him, other than that he always got on and off the fourth floor, and the times he came and went.

It started with a simple coincidence. You left a few minutes earlier than usual because you had a project at Uni that required a lot of materials, prompting you to take the elevator for convenience. Lo and behold, there he was again, stepping into the elevator as it made a stop on the fourth floor. You nodded at one another, and he sent you a small, seemingly sympathetic smile as he eyed all the materials you were carrying. Since then you knew that he left for work at 7:15 sharp, and since then you’ve subconsciously started your morning 15 minutes earlier too, to match schedules, but he didnt have to know that.

In terms of the time of return, you didnt have to change much (not that you were changing anything in the first place, you told yourself). You simply had to get home a tad bit faster, and then take the elevator. There, you and him would shuffle into the small space and share a moment of silence before he would step off, leaving you to ascend further on your own.

Today was a day like most other, you made it though all your classes managed to hand in the work that was looming over your head, and your timing was right on the money to see a certain someone. You might be a little very exited to see him, you admit, but you allowed yourself the unsolicited giddiness that spread through your body at the thought of him.

Youre glad you were wearing a bit of a nicer outfit that day, because by some high heavens grace, something in his appearance had changed. You felt stalker-ish for noticing the change, but you couldn’t stop yourself from gushing over it. His forehead. Where normally the black bangs would lie against his skin, kissing his eyebrows, his hair was pushed back for a change.

Your reaction was very normal. Yes, you were feeling extremely normal about this change. Nothing like a man from the middle-ages seeing ankles for the first time, no, nothing like that at all.

You stood a little stiff in the elevator next to him, heels pressed against one another to keep you grounded as you practically buzzed where you stood. Oh my gosh girl get a grip! You wanted to curse yourself, but before any of the self deprivation could really start, the silence in the elevator broke.

He cleared his throat, hand coming up to shield his mouth as he coughed into his fist. Your head whipped over to his and you could see him glancing at you from the corner of his eyes. Never in a million years would you have expected to hear a noise from him, but you would have to thank the heavens later for the cold-seasons. You were content now, happy to have heard his voice.

He really threw you for a loop when he spoke again however, leaning down to match your height, probably make you a little more comfortable. „This might be a little out of nowhere, and i hope i dont sounds really weird and creepy but your perfume is really nice.“ his voice was low, as not to disturb the silence in the apartment complex.

Before you have time to soak in his words, even less to think of a response, the elevator has already reached the fourth floor. He‘s swift in his exit, leaving you reaching out for him dumbly, scrambling to think up some words. No success, so you just watch his leaving form with an open mouth.

Once his words sink in though, your face starts warming, your stomach spinning and your knees becoming embarrassingly weak. „Thanks…“ you say to no one in particular as the doors open again: on the seventh floor this time. You float to your apartment, unlocking the door with a wide smile on your face. What was the chance of something like this happening? Slim to none at all, you think as your smile widens again (if that’s even possible).

Was this the start of something? Only time could tell… well, ten hours and nineteen minutes, but you weren’t counting…

#ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez imagines #ateez x reader #ateez fluff #ateez scenarios #ateez x you #ateez yunho #yunho x reader #jeong yunho #yunho #yunho fluff #yunho ateez #yunho atz

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fandomgirlz01 · 1 year ago

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You Matter Most Pt. 1

Evan “Buck” Buckley X Reader

Imagine on my fandom Instagram?: No

Prompt or Request or Requested Prompt?: No

Style of Writing: Small Series

Edited: Yes

Word count: 5,677

Ko-fi

Masterlist

Warnings here

You can listen to the story be read out loud here.

Post Date & Time: August 24th 2023 at 10:41 PM

Summary: {Based off of S6 E18 Pay it Forward} When a series of freeway accidents lead to a big catastrophe, Buck must worry for his team as he rushes to help them all before it only leads to an even bigger disaster. All while working on helping his team he worries mostly for his best friend who’s unconscious for most of it.

Third Person Pov:

“May-day! May-day! Air ambulance two reporting a collapse at the 710 interchange. Firefighters down. Repeat, firefighters down!” A voice comes through Maddie’s coms, making her quickly answer the distress call.

“Air ambulance two, this is dispatch. Can you reroute to assist?” Maddie asks before pausing, waiting to get an answer.

“Negative. We have a priority spinal transfer,” the voice solemnly tells her.

“Do you have a visual on how many firefighters are down?” Maddie asks and there’s a long pause as she waits for the information.

“All of them— the entire 118. They were on the upper span when it collapsed. They all went down,” the voice tells her in a very worried tone and Maddie’s heart drops.

Her mind immediately goes to thoughts of her fiancé, brother, and sister-like friend, worried for all three. Her heart beats wildly and suddenly she can hear it in her ears as she types up details on her computer. Tears cloud her eyes for a moment and she tries to will herself not to cry just yet.

Y/n’s Pov:

I groan as my alarm goes off and roll over onto my back to look at the ceiling. It takes me a few minutes, but soon I’m reaching over to my phone and turning it off. With one last sigh, I push myself up from my bed and start to get ready for the long shift I have to work.

Once I’m ready, I grab my backpack as well as my morning hot cocoa and keys. I quickly make my way out into the hallway of the complex and lock my door. Just as I lock the bottom lock, I hear Buck’s door open and shut.

I turn to him and let out a giggle when I see the pure exhaustion on his face. He locks up his door before turning when I giggle and he smiles.

“You must have had a lousy night, E. You really look exhausted,” I say, using the nickname I’ve had for him forever with humor laced in my tone.

“Ugh, not exhaustion. More annoyance at the two idiots that won’t make up,” he replies with a roll of his eyes before we both start walking out.

“I’m sure they’ll make up soon, bubs. Just give it a little more time,” I try to reassure him and he hums, shaking his head at me.

“Sure. Then maybe I won’t have to deal with Kamron needing me 24/7. Or the smell of pickles. She keeps needing me to open them. Never did I think I’d hate pickles,” he rants with a roll of his eyes and I giggle again.

“You definitely won’t and I’m sure you’ll like pickles again soon,” I joke with him as I playfully hit my arm against his.

“Anyway, wanna carpool to work today?” he questions me, now changing the subject.

“Sure, why not. Anything to hang out with you a little more,” I joke as I bump my arm into his again and he shakes his head, chuckling.

“As if we don’t already hang out everyday,” he playfully scoffs and I shrug.

“No, we definitely don’t,” I playfully deny and he chuckles, shaking his head.

“Ok, dork. Let’s go. Bobby will kill us if we’re late. Again,” he remarks and I giggle.

“You got that right,” I agree with him as I roll my eyes while we walk out to his car.

“Breakfast on the way?” he asks and I smirk.

“You buying?” I ask him with a raised eyebrow and he groans.

“I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t,” he playfully growls out like he’s angry when I know he indeed isn’t.

“Then hell yeah. I'm hungry,” I tell him and he groans.

“Don’t be like Kameron now,” he says as he rolls his eyes and I laugh.

“What, pregnant? E, I don’t know if you know how that works, but I kinda need to have some relations before that, and you know I’m not seeing anyone right now…” I playfully tell him and he shakes his head.

“Of course I know how that works? You know I didn’t mean that. I mean, I was a sex addict, remember?” he asks and I giggle, letting my eyes go wide jokingly.

“Oh I vividly remember, Mr. Do it on the rooftop of the firehouse. Dumbass,” I joke as I smack his arm and he rubs it.

“Well, what would you have done?!” he fights back and I laugh.

“Not on the rooftop, that’s for sure,” I joke back and he rolls his eyes.

“Whatever. Let’s just get the food and get to work,” he tells me and I giggle.

“Awe, E, I’m just messing with you!” I inform him and he shakes his head.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go, you Gremlin,” he tells me and I giggle, smiling softly at the use of my nickname Buck had given me when we were younger before we split up to get into his Jeep.

“Okay, 118, let’s gather ‘round and settle in. We have some outstanding tasks from our last shift and I’ve got an important announcement about our upcoming weather conditions,” Bobby announces, making me and Buck, who's up on the truck, sit down with our legs hanging off the side.

“So cute, huh? Oh, wait. I promised her I’d wear it all day. Take a picture so we can…” Chimney talks with one of the other firefighters as they walk out of the locker room.

“Firefighter Han,” Bobby calls out, cutting Chim off and making him look up from the play ring on his finger.

“I was gonna save this until the end, but why not make it the first order of business? Congratulations on popping the question,” Bobby announces as he uses his clipboard to point at Howard.

“Yeah, Chim! Whoo, whoo!” I shout out as everyone else claps while I shake Buck.

“Ok… ok… a little less shaking, there,” Buck comments as he pushes me lightly, making me giggle softly.

“Didn’t she do the proposing?” I quietly whisper to Buck, who chortles and nods.

“She finally made an honest man out of him!” Ravi shouts as he grabs Chimney by the shoulder and shakes him lightly.

“All right, everybody. Let’s settle down. We still have to get to the weather update,” Bobby calls out and all the laughs die down.

“All right, apparatus maintenance. Firefighter Diaz will be running point this morning on engine service. We’ll be doing an oil change and a brake fluid change,” Bobby explains as I yawn lightly and lay my head on Buck’s shoulder.

“Tired?” Buck quietly questions me and I hum at him.

“Didn’t sleep too well last night. Tossed and turned all night. Don’t know why, just had a weird feeling,” I whisper back to him and he smiles softly before wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

“Hmm, comfy,” I mummer out as I cuddle in closer and he chuckles softly.

“Eddie?” Bobby calls out, making us all listen in. “Yeah, cap?” Eddie asks nonchalantly as he looks at his phone.

“Did Eddie finally find someone?” I quietly question Buck, who shrugs.

“He didn’t say anything to me if he did,” Buck informs me and I sigh.

“Then why’s he staring at his phone like a lovesick puppy?” I query and Buck gives a small ‘huh,’ before shrugging.

“I guess maybe he did. He’ll tell us when he’s ready,” Buck comments to me and I cross my arms.

“I wanna know now. We’re the three musketeers. Two musketeers can’t just be left in the dust by the other,” I whisper as I cross my arms, pouting and Buck chuckles.

“You and that impatient ass of yours,” Buck comments and I give him a playful smirk.

“And you like this ass of mine,” I joke with him, wiggling my eyebrows at him and he shakes his head.

“Can’t say I don’t,” he plays right back and I giggle before we both turn back to listen in.

“Apparatus maintenance,” Bobby pointedly comments as Eddie moves into a different sitting position while closing his phone.

“I’m on it, Cap,” Eddie promises and Bobby nods as Buck’s phone vibrates.

He quickly silences his phone, but it vibrates again and again. He groans quietly and presses the answer button.

“Okay. All right, now for the weather update,” Bobby starts as Buck puts the phone up to his ear.

“Uh, hey, listen, I-I can’t… I can’t talk right now. No, I can’t. Kameron, I don’t know why he’s calling you. Maybe if you answer the phone you’ll find…” Buck talks into the phone and I smirk as Bobby turns around.

Booby walks over to us on the truck and looks up at us. He gives me an irritated questioning look and I just shrug, making him look at Buck, who trails off.

“You're in trouble…” I jokingly mutter out as I try to hold in my giggles while poking his side lightly.

“Umm, I got to go,” Buck tells her and I hold back a giggle at his ‘oops’ tone before hanging the phone up.

“Uh- s-sor… sorry, Cap. Um…” Buck stutters out his apology, but Bobby just ignores him and turns back around.

“Alright, folks, listen up,” Bobby again tries to get to the point.

“Uh, Cap?” Ravi questions, holding his hand up and Bobby gives him an unamused look that tells him to go on.

“Can I just say, if Buck needs to get the pregnant lady out of his apartment,” Ravi starts and Buck hops down off the truck before turning to me to help me down real quick.

“I do have a two-bedroom that’s about to be on the market, so…” Ravi finishes as Buck and I walk towards him.

“Thank you, Ravi! Maybe a discussion for another time,” Bobby humorously chides as everyone laughs a little bit.

“118, it’s time to dial it in,” Bobby starts to try and corral us in again.

“We have a Job to do, but in order to do that job, you have to be here. I need precision, I need focus, but most of all, I need you to be present,” Bobby pointedly announces as Hen cautiously walks in and around him to take a seat.

“Sorry I’m late, Cap,” Hen quickly apologizes as she sighs.

“Okay! Let’s get cracking,” Bobby finishes before starting to walk off.

“Hey, wait. What’s the important weather update?” Chimney asks as Bobby walks past him.

“There’s a moderate marine layer,” Bobby answers, unamused as he continues to walk away.

“I’ll see you for lunch?” Buck questions and I nod in confirmation.

“Yeah. That is, if we don’t get a call before then,” I promise him with a small smile.

“Don’t jinx it,” Buck jokes, pointing at me with a chuckle.

“Ok. I’ll see you in a-” I start, but the alarm sounds and Buck groans.

“You jinxed it!” he shouts, throwing his hands up and I giggle.

“My bad…” I reply with a shrug and he shakes his head.

“Come on, dork. Let’s get into our gear,” Buck tells me with a grin.

We both rush over to our lockers and start to put our gear on before running over to the truck. Buck hops in on the left side as I hop in on the right and we get into our seats as Bobby starts to pull out of the garage. Bobby drives throughout town before coming up to the scene on the bridge. Once the engine comes to a stop, we all quickly pile out and get to work.

“Hen, Chem. Check the driver of this camper van,” Bobby orders as he points to the van.

“Buck, y/n Eddie, Ravi, I want you guys to check these surrounding vehicles for injuries. Let’s go,” Bobby commands and we all give him a nod before rushing off.

Buck, Ravi and I walk around, making sure there's no more injuries. Once we deem there are none, we walk back over to help. We stand back as Chimney and Hen communicate with the girl inside.

“Cap, second victim in the back. She didn’t have her seatbelt on when the accident happened!” Chimney shouts as he looks around the side of the van.

“Okay, these back doors are obliterated. I want you guys to pull that windshield,” Bobby commands, making Hen and Chimney nod.

I quickly rush back to the engine and pull out the windshield suction cups as Ravi grabs the pry bars. Once I have them, I rush back to the van with Ravi in tow. I hand the suction cups to Hen as Ravi gives the pry bars to Buck and Eddie. Hen quickly places the suction cups on the windshield and pulls as Buck and Eddie use the pry bars. Once it comes off, Hen quickly passes the windshield to Buck, who takes it and sets it aside.

“All right. What’s your name?” Hen asks the frightened girl softly.

“Jo,” the girl cries out her reply.

“Jo. Can-can you move?” Hen questions the girl and she looks down at her leg.

“Um, I don’t know. It’s my leg. I think it’s broken. Um, please help her!” Jo cries out again as she looks up at Hen and Chimney with tears cascading down her face.

“I'm on it, Jo, but I need to get back there, so we’re gonna pull you out. You might feel a little pain, okay?” Chimney calmly explains to her and he moves aside for Hen to get in a bit more.

“Buck, can you carry her to the ambulance?” Chimney queries and Buck nods, moving behind Hen and getting ready to grab her.

“Okay! Ahhh!” Jo agrees before screaming out in pain as they move her. She cries as they pull her out of the vehicle.

Buck quickly lifts her up and carries her over to the back of the ambulance as Chimney moves into the van. Hen quickly stands up and pushes me along with Buck.

“Go help him look her over. You have more medical training then he does. I’ll stay with Chim,” she commands me and I nod before rushing off behind Buck.

I quickly help Buck get her down on the floor so I can look over her leg. In one fast fluid motion, I pull out a tourniquet-like brace and start putting it on her leg along with Bobby’s help as they wheel a gurney over.

“Cap. We’re going to need an air ambulance. Patient is unresponsive, breathing is weak and she’s lost bladder control. Could be a spinal,” Chimney explains over the radio as we continue to work on Jo.

“Copy that,” Bobby replies as we start to prepare Jo to get her on the gurney.

“Spinal injury? Is she okay?” Jo asks me in fear and I look at her.

“We won’t know until we get her to the hospital,” I inform her as they bring the gurney closer, now ready to get her up onto it.

“Please, please don’t take me now because I need to see her,” she begs as she grips my hand and I pause as Hen walks up.

“Hey, hey. You’ll be able to before they airlift her. I promise, okay?” Buck promises her before Hen or I can say anything.

Eddie walks past us with the backboard, headed towards Chimney and we quickly move Jo onto the gurney. Jo keeps a grip on my hand and I squeeze hers before letting go.

“Don’t worry. You know the firefighter that told you you’d see her?” I ask her and she nods in understanding.

“That’s my best friend. I know when he promises something, he keeps it. You’ll see her just like he said,” I promise her softly and she gives me a small thankful smile as she seems only slightly less freaked out.

“My name's y/n. I’ll stay here till your mom’s out, okay?” I tell her and she smiles a thankful smile at me again.

“She’s not my mom. She’s my mom’s best friend. My, uhh, mom passed away three years ago. Mallory was insistent we take this trip as an honor to my mother…” Jo explains to me and I smile softly at her.

“I’m sorry to hear about your mom. You're very lucky to have Mallory. That sounds like a lovely plan. I’m sure you two can pick up when everyone is okay again,” I try to comfort her to the best of my ability and she shakes her head.

“No. I think we’ll find a different way of traveling,” Jo informs me and I nod.

“I would probably do that too. Nothing wrong with that,” I agree with her and she nods in agreement.

We wait maybe a few more minutes until we see Chimney come out first. Then Eddie pushes Mallory out and together they lift her backboard onto another gurney that was taken over to them. They then start to roll her over and I move over next to Hen so they can roll her next to Jo.

“She’s right up here,” I hear Chimney inform Mallory as they get closer.

“Okay, she’s right up here,” he repeats himself as they get closer.

“Mallory!” Jo shouts when they get closer before coming to a stop right next to her.

“I’m so sorry,” Jo apologizes as they both reach out to hold hands.

“I can’t lose you, too,” Jo continues on the verge of tears and I feel tears well up in my eyes.

“I’m not going anywhere. We still have a lot of ground to cover, okay?” Mallory asks her as she squeezes her hand.

“Next time, we’ll take the train,” Jo insists quickly as the others start to load her in the back of the ambulance as air support flies overhead.

“Air support. You are clear to land,” Bobby gives the okay through his walkie and soon the helicopter is landing.

Eddie and Chim start to walk her over to the helicopter and I let out a puff of air as my emotions take over. I take my jacket off in hopes a little air is all I need. I quickly try to sober up so I don’t start sobbing before I feel a hand on my back, making me turn to see Buck next to me.

“Hey. You doing okay? You’re getting fidgety,” he queries with a raised eyebrow and I shake my head before nodding.

“Yeah. No. I’m fine. Just had a flashback to my sister, that’s all,” I inform him and he nods solemnly at me.

“I know. She’s watching over you. You know that,” he solemnly tells me, trying to comfort me as he rubs at my back and I nod, sniffling.

“Thanks for checking on me,” I say in gratitude and I only hope Buck knows just how much I’m thankful for him.

“Always, you know that we stick together, right?” he asks me and I smile.

“Right. Stuck together like glue,” I reply to our life long promise we always tell each other and he smiles, nodding.

“Okay. I’m gonna go help Chim. We’ll talk more about this later, okay?” he questions me and I nod.

“Yeah. Go. Go. Do our job,” I agree with a soft smile and he nods before rushing off.

“Possible spinal! She’s coming over now!” I hear him yell to the air tech that gets out of the helicopter.

“Can’t get rid of me, can you, Buckley?” I hear her voice and I immediately recognize Lucy. Red hot jealousy flares up in me, but I push it away.

“Great to see you again, for real this time!” I hear Buck shout back as he stops to point at her and I huff, rolling my eyes.

He turns and walks back towards me, but only frowns as I brush him off. I walk over to Bobby just as Eddie walks up.

“Hey, Cap, think there’s a propane stove in the van. I’m gonna go check it out,” Eddie explains to him as he walks up to us.

“Good thinking, Eddie. Y/n, go with him,” Bobby commands me and I nod.

“Actually Bobby, can I have a quick moment with her?” Buck asks and Bobby shakes his head.

“I guess. One minute, then back to work. Got it?” Bobby asks and Buck nods.

“No, yeah, I promise,” Buck informs him and Bobby nods before walking off.

“Hey, what’s up. Why are you giving the cold shoulder?” Buck asks as he looks at me.

“It’s nothing, Buck, really. Go back to work,” I play it off and he sighs in frustration.

“Y/n, I thought we talked about closing up? Talk to me, you know you can,” Buck begs me and I shake my head.

“Buck. Nothing is wrong, it’s just a hard case. I told you I’d talk with you about it later,” I deflect away from what’s going on.

“No. I know—” he starts, but gets cut off as the bridge suddenly starts to shake as it cracks down the middle, making both me and Buck fall to the ground with me on top of him.

There’s more shaking and creaking as the bridge slowly starts to collapse. Buck looks up and suddenly he’s rushing to get up, pulling me with him.

“Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey! Let’s move!” Buck yells out as the ambulance comes flying back at us and Buck quickly moves both of us out of the way just in time.

“Hey!” he continues to shout as the ambulance rushes past us, quickly crashing at an angle.

Buck quickly maneuvers, but somehow he gets pulled down with the ambulance, making me go with him. He smashes into the ambulance’s windshield and it cracks.

“Buck!” I yell out as I fly past him, but he doesn’t reply.

I let out another scream as I come to a landing on a slab of concrete, hitting my head in the process. Pain surges through my side, but I don’t notice it for long as suddenly everything goes black.

Buck’s Pov:

I groan as I come to, still laying on the windshield that’s now cracked from me smashing into it. There's a quiet, eerie, metallic creak and it takes me a moment to realize where I am. When I do, I take a moment to push myself up on all fours. I look around in fear for y/n, but there’s no sign of her, so I look into the ambulance next.

“Hen!” I yell out as I see my friend still strapped into the driver's seat of the ambulance, now unconscious.

“H-hen, can you hear—” I ask her as I bang on the window.

“118, report in. I need a headcount,” I talk into my radio, hoping to get any answers.

“I’m grabbing the ropes,” Ravi radios back first as I look around, trying to assess where everyone could be.

“I’m in the van. Pretty sure I broke a couple ribs, but this van is about to get pancaked,” Eddie groans out as he radios in and I keep looking around with no sight of y/n.

“Okay. Eddie, uh. We’re coming to you,” I inform him before taking a pause.

“Han. What is your status?” I ask into my radio before letting go to get his status.

“Han, come in,” I practically beg over the radios when he doesn’t answer.

“Han…” I question again and wait a moment.

“Han here,” Chimney finally radios in and I throw my head back in relief.

“Captain Nash, firefighter Maysen, still haven’t heard from either of you. What is your status?” I ask into the radio again, only hoping to get something but nothing comes.

“Bobby, y/n. Come in,” I repeat through the radio again, but still silence.

“I see firefighter Maysen! She’s on a slab near you, maybe twenty feet away, just covered by some rubble,” Ravi explains to me through the radio and I sigh in relief.

“Is she under it?” I question and wait for a moment.

“No. She’s just close enough to be hidden. She’s out, though, and there’s one other thing…” he voices again though the radio before trailing off.

“What? Is she okay?” I question him and he takes another pause, making me wait with bated breath.

“She’s been impaled by a piece of rebar, Buck… right though the side of her stomach. I- if we don’t get to her soon, she might bleed out,” he breaks it to me easily and I sigh, putting my head down for a moment.

“I’ll get to her as soon as I get Hen and the others out,” I inform him as I make the hard decision to wait, even though I want to rush over to her first and get her out.

“Ok… only if you're sure. You're acting captain right now,” he informs and I let out a huff before pressing the button on my radio to reply.

“Yeah, I know. So everyone’s safety is on me right now. Luckily if I can get Hen awake, she can take over. Let’s get to work,” I command before letting the button go, letting out a sigh, and looking down at Hen again.

“Hen. I’m- I’m coming to you. Just stay right there,” I tell my unconscious friend before I move off the windshield and down the side of the ambulance.

Very slowly, I make my way to the window and try to shove myself though it. The ambulance starts to tremble as I do, but I keep going.

“Hen?” I call out to her as I pause for a moment.

“Chim. Chim! Chim, you back there?” I shout out as I finally slide though the window of the ambulance.

“I’m alive, but not great,” Chimney calls out in a winded tone.

“Okay,” I pant out as I move over to Hen.

“Come on. Hey,” I voice as I try to get Hen to wake up.

“What happened?” Hen questions as she looks around, confused.

“Bridge collapsed,” I inform her and her head starts to fall back.

“Hey, hey, hey. Hen, you with me?” I question her and she squints at me.

“I’m good. Thank you,” she conveys to me as she starts to reach towards me.

“You okay?” she asks as she wipes at the side of my forehead.

“Yeah. Oh. Uh… I mean, physically, yeah,” I tell her, my emotions betraying me ever so slightly as I feel a lump form in my throat.

“Where is everybody?” she asks me as she continues to clean my face.

“R-Ravi is up top. Eddie’s in the van. Chimney’s in the back. He needs our help. I’m gonna go up top. Get the ambulance secure. Then we get you out, okay?” I explain to her before asking if she understands. She slowly nods before letting her head fall back a bit.

“Okay. Where’s Cap? Where’s Bobby? A-and y/n…” she suddenly asks as she quickly lifts her head straight.

“He’s MIA, and y/n…” I pause and take a deep breath.

“She’s currently bleeding out maybe twenty feet from us,” I inform her and she just stares at me.

“You, uhh… y-you’re sure you’re good?” I ask her one last time just to make sure.

“Yeah. I… I’m-I’m good,” she stumbles out in her shock and pain.

“Just get some rope so we can get out of here,” she commands me and I nod before starting to try climbing out.

“Okay, Ravi, I need a line,” I grunt as I call out while climbing out of the window.

I get about halfway out the window when Ravi throws the rope down to me and I slowly finish pulling myself out. I hold onto the ambulance as I grab the rope before using it to climb back to the front. Once around the front, I continue to climb up the side until I can pull myself up to the top. Ravi hands me a part of the rope and I quickly slide under the engine, tying the rope to the underside of it. I quickly rush back to the side and let out a puff of air when I see what Ravi had seen before.

The van is under the ambulance and both are close to falling. I let out another breath and close my eyes when I see y/n. She is indeed impaled and blood pools around her as she lays unconscious.

“Buck, we’ll get to her,” Ravi promises as he puts a hand on my shoulder.

“Yeah. I know. I’m not letting her go out like this. Not yet. It’s too early and there’s a lot that needs to be said,” I inform as I promise myself in my head that if we make it out, I’ll tell her how I really feel.

“And it will be said,” he agrees with a head nod before going back over to the truck.

“Please tell me you made it, Cap,” I whisper to myself as I look out over the scene again.

“Okay, Ravi. Let’s go!” I shout to him as I turn around, ready to scale the concrete.

“118, LAPD on scene at the lower level and here to assist,” Athena’s voice comes over the radio just as I hop over, ready to scale down to Hen.

“118? Captain?” she asks in a scared tone when she gets no response from her husband.

“Hen! That’s you!” I yell out to her, leaning back a bit.

“LAPD, this is Wilson. Captain Nash is unaccounted for, we also have one impaled and unconscious. I’m in command. Anything you can do to help survivors on the ground level would be appreciated, ” Hen replies over the radio as I start to quickly scale down with a harness bag.

“Copy that!” Athena quickly replies again over the radio.

Once I get down to the ambulance, I set the bag on it and I get closer to the front of it. I quickly tie the rope to the car and pull on it ever so slightly.

“Hey, Ravi, tension!” I call out to him and I wait a moment before leaning against the ambulance.

I bounce on it a couple times to see how stable it is and smile when it comes out very stable. I quickly climb back to the top of the ambulance and pull the harness bag in front of me.

“Okay. Hen, you got a harness and capture strap. Take Chimney and the patient, you send them down,” I explain to her as I throw the strap and harness in the window to her.

“I’m headed to the van. Then I’ll get y/n. I’ll see you at the bottom,” I inform her of my plan before getting off the ambulance and heading to Eddie.

It takes me a few minutes, but soon I make it to the van. I come to a stop next to it as Ravi looks over the side.

“Sending down the saw!” he shouts to me before dropping me the saw bag.

“Okay, Eddie, you in there?” I ask as I pause and listen in and he gives me a small ‘Yup’ through his groans of pain.

“Let me get these doors open. Just shield your eyes,” I inform him before I pull the saw from the bag along with the protective glasses and start to saw at the door.

I work for a few minutes at the door before soon I can start to pull at them. I pull one open and groan as I pause, taking the glasses off to look in at Eddie, who’s trapped under the fridge looking up at me.

“Hey,” I pant out as I hold onto the door.

“Any sign of Cap?” he huffs out as he struggles to breathe and I shake my head.

“How’s y/n?” he asks and I sigh.

“Currently, she’s bleeding out. I’m getting her next,” I inform him and he nods.

“Sorry about this,” I apologize as I move closer to him and grab his arms.

“Yeah. It’s gonna suck,” he comments before I pull on him.

I pull him out and he yells out in pain as I do. Soon I’m pulling him out of the van all together and he grits his teeth.

“Okay, I got you,” I comment as I pull him out and quickly we’re climbing down so he can get medical.

Once he’s down standing on his own feet, some other paramedics come over to us. They get Jo first and Hen groans as she leans over before puking.

“Hen!” Eddie yells out as we watch her double over.

“Hey,” Eddie tells me before we both rush over to Hen, who lays flat on top of the truck she’s on.

“I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m okay,” she groans, waving us off.

“I’m okay. I’m pretty sure I’m just concussed,” she explains as she sits up and moves her helmet.

“We got to get Chimney and y/n! We got to get Chimney and y/n!” she suddenly yells out as she looks back up.

“No. Hey, hey, hey. We’ll get Chimney and y/n. Let’s get you down. Come on,” we both try to stop her as she groans.

“Come on down. I promise I’ll get him and y/n,” I inform her as we all reach out for her.

“We got you. We got you. Come on. No rush,” I rant as she finally starts to try and crawl down.

“Okay. Come on. Let’s go. Let’s go. Let’s go,” Eddie chants as he wraps her arm around his shoulder while she pants out of breath.

“Eddie, you got her, yeah?” I ask and he nods, giving me a small ‘hmm’ as they continue to walk.

“Okay. I’m going back for Chim and y/n. I’ll be back,” I promise and he nods.

Just before I turn, there’s another loud, metallic creaking noise and we all turn around. My eyes widen as the ambulance starts to shake around and the van starts to look like it’ll fall any second.

To Be Continued…

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qu0kkarambles · 1 year ago

Text

Baby I miss you

Warnings - smut (minors dni), unprotected sex, oral, slight aftercare, public sex (kinda) , pet names, established relationship, slight muscle kink

1.4K words

Authors note- it’s been soooo long since I posted on here lol so hope y’all enjoy and I’m also on ao3 if anyone wants to follow me over there as well.

‘Baby I miss you’

‘I’ve been down here 20 minutes y/n’ he sighed, a small smirk on his lips showing that he isn’t really annoyed by your clinginess. In fact he finds it endearing, watching how you try find excuses to be around him 24/7. Even now when he’s 20 minutes into his gym set, you traipsed down to your apartment complex gym ready to pretend to work out while you watch your boyfriend with his daily routine.

As he continued lifting his weights you sat yourself on one of the weight benches, shamelessly watching him as he goes through each rep set. Each bicep curl sent a wave of arousal through your body, and as you watched him slowly begin to sweat you had to shake yourself off, reminding yourself that there was cameras down here.

Mingyu continued to stare at his form in the mirror, or so you thought. He was secretly watching you, noticing immediately how your eyes were trained on his body and how you hadn’t even noticed he was staring right back at you through the mirrors. You were so preoccupied you didn’t even notice his growing smirk as he finished his set. He gently set the weights down before walking over to where you had sat yourself down, your gaze meeting his as he squatted down in front of you.

‘Baby, how do you expect me to concentrate if you keep looking at me like that?’ He asked, a finger under your chin gently lifting your head to look at him. ‘Like what?’ You asked.

‘Like you’re waiting for me to come rip your clothes off’ he replied, a chuckle low in his throat as he watched your eyes widen in shock. He stood from his crouched position and went back to his weights as you struggled to find the words to respond. Did you want him to throw you over his shoulder and have his way with you? Absolutely. Did you want him to say it out loud? Not at all.

As he continued with his workout you tried to distract yourself with your phone, scrolling tiktok as you tried not to stare at him anymore. Finding it more and more difficult to focus on the videos, you finally cracked, peeking up at him in the reflection of the large mirror. You immediately caught his eyes trained on you, his arms down as he just stood holding the weights, no lifting happening.

‘Now who’s staring?’ You say smirking, chuckling as you see him lower the weights.

‘I’m staring’ he says as he walks toward you. ‘Now stand up’

‘What? Why?’ You ask, already standing as you reply. There’s no real question anyway. Whatever he tells you to do, you follow flawlessly. You always have. Once you’re fully stood upright in front of him, his arms wrap around your waist, the sheen of sweat along them making him look even more fuckable than usual, as if that’s even possible.

With his hands firm around your waist he pulls you closer, crashing his lips to yours as you wrap your arms around his shoulders, hands meeting at the nape of his neck as you run your fingers through his hair. He breaks the kiss ever so slightly to whisper to you. ‘Up.’ As he speaks, a small tap on your ass is enough to get you to jump slightly, legs wrapped around his waist as he holds your body weight against his and continues to kiss you.

Within minutes you’re breathless, clinging to him as he walks you to the wall, your back leaning against it as he holds you up. Your kisses, which started slow and deep, have become frantic and messy, moans slipping from your lips as you felt mingyus hands across your back. His hands found there way under your shirt, his fingers splayed across your skin as he held you, tight enough to bruise. You hoped they would.

You pulled yourself back from mingyu, breathlessly whispering into his mouth. ‘Please mingyu, need you. Now’

Your begging pulled a groan from him, his eyes dark as he pulled back from the wall. He gently set you down, his lips on your neck as he began leaving marks along your skin. ‘Come on, let’s go’ you said, desperate to have mingyu closer.

‘No one checks the cameras baby. And the doors locked,’ he said ‘we don’t have to go anywhere. Now, are you gonna take your clothes off or do I have to do it for you?’

His bold confidence went straight to your core, your words lost in your mouth as you watched him walk closer to you. With one swift movement your shorts were thrown across the room, his hands all over you in an instant. He pulled your shirt off next, his lips trailing over every inch of your skin as you pulled him closer to you.

He pulled himself off you and moved across the room, sitting himself on a weight bench and lying himself back. You walked over, curious to see his plan before he grabbed your thighs. He pulled you closer, positioning you above his face as his hands pulled you down into his face.

‘Gyu, wait-‘ your words were silenced when mingyu pulled your body weight onto his face, his tongue working its magic to keep you quiet and panting.

‘Fuck mingyu, god.’ Your words were broken between moans, your fingers tangling through his hair as you tugged on the strands. Each time you tried to pull away, his hands were firm on your thighs, holding you down. ‘G-gonna c-cum fuck.’ Your warnings meant nothing to mingyu, his grip on your thighs only tightening as he pulled you closer and closer to the edge.

As you reached the edge, his grip on your thighs loosened, your legs shaking as he finally let you go. With his grip loosened on your legs you were able to pull away from his teasing tongue, finally able to catch your breath. As you tried to move to put your shorts back on, his hands stopped you.

‘Do you think we’re finished baby?’ He said with a smirk, his cheeky smile making your legs even weaker than they already were. He pinned you face first against the wall, his hands firm on your waist as he kissed along your neck and shoulders.

‘Gyu, please’

‘Fuck baby, you sound so pretty begging for me. My pretty princess.’ His words caught in his throat as he pushed himself into you, your own breath being taken once again as he filled you.

Although you had been with mingyu countless times before, he still surprised you with how perfect he is for you. You were practically panting as hw began to move, his thrusts slow and deep at first as he stretched you. Soon you were begging and pleading for more, and he was never going to deny you. As his pace increased, your moans got louder and louder, cursing between pants as he thrust deeper and deeper, his own moans taking you further to the edge.

Your hands tangled through his hair, tugging at the roots as your legs began to shake, your high flooding through your body in an instant. ‘Fuck baby you feel so good’ mingyu said as you came undone, his own thrusts becoming more and more frantic as he chased his high. As your lips met his, he finally reached the edge, filling you up as his hips falter and still.

His breath was hot on your neck as he painted into your skin, littering kissed along your shoulders as he held you up against the wall. ‘Fuck, gyu.’ You panted, your arms still firmly wrapped around his neck.

‘Come on baby, let’s get you cleaned up’ he said as he pulled out of you, gently placing you down on the floor. He quickly hurried to grab your shorts, redressing you before grabbing your stuff, his hand held out for you to take as he led you from the gym.

Once back in your flat, he led you to the shower, once again removing your clothes before joining you under the steaming water. His hands roamed your body as he took his time to take care of you, carefully wrapping a warm fluffy towel around your body once you were done.

Freshly cleaned and wrapped up warm in mingyus clothes, you settled down on the couch to watch him cook, your eyes dropping as sleep finally took you.

#kpop smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #seventeen mingyu #seventeen mingyu smut #mingyu smut

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twig-tea · 1 month ago

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GL odds and ends 20 October 2024

Still feeling out how regularly it makes sense to do this; first one was 2 weeks ago on 6 October. If you're interested in GL older than that, check out my GL rec list through Feb 2024 and my update in July 2024. New series marked with an asterisk*.

Currently airing (with thoughts up to Oct 6):

Reverse 4 U 7/8 (Thai, Tuesdays 1:00 PM EDT, Netflix / YouTube) I'm disappointed by how this final arc has gone. We haven't really seen any growth for Wa, and the whole plot with Wa and Vivi's father didn't really make sense. I really don't understand why he had to stay away, or why the rules are so different for him than for Wa. The relationship between Wa and Four also feels flat because we've barely seen them together. I was rooting for this one but alas.

Unlock Your Love ep 6/8 (Thai, Wednesdays, GagaOOLala / YouTube [cut version]) The sequence where Rain and Love keep trying to have sex but getting interrupted/hurt was very funny; this show still drags but the core of it is pretty good. I mostly just wish it were tighter.

Chaser Game W s2 ep 5/8 (Japanese, Thursdays 12:30 PM EDT, GagaOOLala) @lurkingshan is already doing a great summary of this week to week in her JQL weekly round-up!

Affair the series ep 8/8 END (Thai, Fridays 11:15 AM EDT, iQIYI/ YouTube) Other than the jealousy in the last 10 minutes of the show, I really did like this ending for the series. I really liked Wan's decision to take time for herself after being disappointed by Pleng's decision again. The plot and melodramatic-ness of this show is not my favourite, but I enjoyed it week to week in spite of that. The acting was so solid, the women so gorgeous, the chemistry so fire, and the writing was great for the genre its in (the story was internally consistent and coherent, and the characters were complex and their motivations were clear. There was even a good plot reason for the 'they might be siblings' twist). If you don't mind melodrama, give this one a try!

*Pluto ep 1/12 NEW (Thai, Saturdays 9:30 AM EDT, YouTube) Starting off with a fantastic kiss and Namtan on a motorcycle is truly an incredible opening gambit. That being said, I don't buy the core premise of the plot and it is making it difficult for me to actually enjoy the show. I'll probably be mostly quiet about this one because the things I don't like about it aren't actually about its execution but rather my taste.

*Apple My Love ep 2/7 NEW (Thai, Saturdays 11:45 AM EDT, GagaOOLala and YouTube) I already shouted on main about ep1 here; so far I'm obsessed with this show. Kris is too gay to function, and the misunderstanding is perfectly executed. Very excited for this one, it's so far fantastic.

The Loyal Pin ep 12/16 (Thai, Sundays 12:15 PM EDT, YouTube) Anin's speech in this episode was fire. I feel for these girls, Anin and Pin are just so desperate to be together and their choices are limited. This show continues to be gorgeous and so well done, and I keep bracing for pain.

Red Whisper ep 4/8 (Korea, [schedule is kinda unpredictable; vaguely every 5 days??], YouTube) Cheating and taking advantage while your crush is heartbroken and drunk is not my fave but is par for the course with these SukFilm short series; my fave so far has been their first GL so if you haven't seen that yet I'd honestly recommend that instead.

Recent One-offs & Side Couples

We finally got the sapphic backstory in The Hidden Moon but it was (as expected) sad and mostly inferred.

We also got more of the Aim as a Lesbian plotline in the new Love Sick 2024 remake (this was not a plotline in the 2014 version and it's one of the changes I really like and that I think works really well)

Sastra film app YouTube channel has several short Cambodian GL series that come out weekly Honestly they are not to my taste but I don't like gatekeeping GL especially from smaller markets. I check in on these time to time and if there are any that I think are great I'll give them a shout-out

Ditto above with JPC media YouTube channel for Thai GL shorts if there are any that stand out to me I'll say so

Starting soon:

The Nipple Talk, [ensemble] Taiwanese, 1 November GagaOOLala

My Ex's Wedding [in theatres in Thailand 14 November]

Mom Ped Sawan, Thai, 17 November [international distribution uncertain; it should be on VIPA app with subs, but that is region-locked]

Petrichor, Thai, 23 November, TBD

#sapphic media #gl series #gl meta #typed so that i can stop thinking it #unlock your love #reverse for you #affair the series #pluto the series #apple my love #the loyal pin #red whisper

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musingsofalovelymillenial · 10 months ago

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Non and Kru Keng!

Dead Friend Forever Ep 7 - extended opinion ( long-ish post)

Trigger Warnings : Sexual abuse, sexual coercion, grooming, etc.

Since episode 7 aired I have been appalled at the number of posts I have seen regarding Non and Keng and Non’s behavior. Before I dive into ( and yes this is me letting out my anger regarding things I have seen) I want to provide some background that is also a basis for my personal opinion. I also want to state that while I truly believe everyone is titled to their own opinion there are certain things that are wrong and should not be romanticized/glossed over.

My professional background is in psychology, social work and human service ( dealing with abuse and domestic violence)

My personal background also makes what is happening to Non even harder to watch. Episodes 5, 6 and 7 took me a while to get through and resulted honestly in needing to detach for a while. I grew up attending middle school and high school in an area where most of the students attending my schools were wealthy. During that time I and my friends experienced severe bullying for being poor and for not living the way everyone else did. For context we lived 20 minutes away from our school where almost everyone lived surrounding the school and we lived in a trailer park and even though our bus was overcrowded all the trailer park children rode one bus. We as a group were constantly in trouble even when we did nothing wrong, our vice principal called us trailer trash to our faces on our bus and the kids at school were cruel and treated us like we were disgusting and not good enough. When we were “lucky” enough to be invited to their houses we were watched more than the other kids and we were not treated the same way by the parents compared to their fellow friends from the same income level. We were taught by everyone around us that we should be and were inferior ( we were not!). During this time there was also one of my bullies who everyday would not only verbally harass me but sexually harass me at my locker and the worst part at the time was that there were either the kids that ignored that it was happening or the kids who laughed. I can't speak for my few friends at the time but what made all this worse was because school was not the only place I had problems. At home my father was an alcoholic and on any given day my house was a cocktail mixture of verbal abuse, emotional abuse, and domestic violence. After a while I not only started feeling sick a lot but I eventually stopped going to school and would stay home “sick” to avoid school ( both my parents worked so I would be alone during the day). Around this time was really when I developed anxiety, depression and for the first time battled with suicidal thoughts. This went on for a long time. When things finally had their culminating point of me finally opening up at least about what was happening at school. My mom was the first person to ask me and later as an adult in therapy my therapist also asked why did I never tell anyone what was happening to me? The answer was truly simple, complex but simple. I did not want to burden anyone. I told my mom she already dealt with so much because of my father and how he treated us that I did not want to add one more burden to her already full plate. I felt that if I could just handle it on my own it would be fine, eventually it would stop or these people who were cruel would just give up. I also felt ashamed and disgusted by what was happening. I also told my therapist (as an adult looking back on that time) that why would I tell anyone when the kids in the hallway made it clear they did not care and the adults ( teachers and office staff) who I should have been able to trust made it clear they did not like us either simply because of where we live and our income level.

Now back to Dead Friend Forever

Here are the definitions for Abuse of Power, Sexual Coercion and Grooming.

Abuse of power is when someone misuses their authority or higher position in a hierarchy to take advantage of, coerce or harm other people. And it can lead to different types of abuse, such as psychological, physical, financial and sexual abuse.

Sexual coercion is using pressure or influence to get someone to agree to sex. People can knowingly coerce others into sex, such as learning manipulative pick-up artist strategies, or unknowingly, such as assuming the other person is OK when they're not.

Grooming is a tactic where someone methodically builds a trusting relationship with a child or young adult, their family, and community to manipulate, coerce, or force the child or young adult to engage in sexual activities.

More information about grooming:

Because they were groomed, children and teens who were abused often feel that they were in some way responsible for the abuse. This is especially true for teens who feel that they went into the situation willingly and thus in some way it was their fault. This shame and guilt then prevents them from reporting, as they fear that no one will believe them. In fact, many teens who have been groomed are confused as to whether what happened to them actually constituted abuse as it didn’t follow the stereotypical pattern of a violent rape. In many cases this confusion can prevent or delay reporting for many years.

Non was groomed and then sexually assaulted regardless whether it seemed like he consented. Let me say it louder for the people in the back!

Kru Keng sexually assaulted Non! He did not ”cheat” on Phee. Did he lie to Phee yes, but he did not cheat in the stereotypically what we as a society view cheating.

the signs or steps of grooming with examples from the episode:

Make you feel like you owe them. Because you are in a relationship, because you’ve had sex before or because they give/spend money on you or because you go home with them they are owed for these behaviors.

We see Keng offer Non a ride home and he then offers him money to get out of his situation. We don’t see him doing these things with other students.

Victim Selection: abusers often observe possible victims and select them based on ease of access to them or their perceived vulnerability.

Keng clocks that Non is vulnerable the first time he is in the study class and even looks back at him after scolding Top and asking Non for his name. We see this through the several times he brings up how Non is having friend problems or how he doesn't want to work with Tee, and Non unfortunately mentions how just knowing someone cares makes him feel better which makes Keng even more aware of how alone Non seems to be.

Gaining access and isolating the victim: abusers will attempt to physically or emotionally separate a victim from those protecting them and often seek out positions in which they have contact with minors.

Keng has perfect access as a math tutor/teacher to have contact with minors. Also he always has Non come to his office or meet him alone despite the fact that his office is in a seemingly more isolated place than the classrooms.

Trust development and keeping secrets: abusers attempt to gain trust of victims through gifts, sharing secrets, etc.

Keng not only praises Non as a student but also then tells him things like I want to help you anyway I can, I noticed that you are sad, I can give you money to help you because I view you like a brother, I now know your secret regarding Tee and the money so I am someone you can trust.

Desensitization to touch : abusers will often start to touch a victim in ways that appear harmless and later escalate to increasingly more sexual contact.

Keng touches Non’s shoulder seemingly to comfort him, the next time he is holding his hand, then he is holding his hand on his knee and rubbing the back of his hand. All these on their own could be innocent and seem like comfort or being friendly. Until Keng kisses Non crossing that line and leading directly to assaulting him.

Attempt by abusers to make their behavior seem natural: to avoid raising suspicions. For teens who may be particularly close in age to the abuser it can be hard to recognize grooming tactics.

I feel for Non because we see how he is not happy and is actually crying when he hugs Phee the first time when Keng kisses him and then we see him come down to meet Phee. Also Non is trapped in a situation where he is being manipulated and being taken advantage of and sees little to no way out of this financial mess with the money laundering. We, as an audience, saw the fight with his family after where his mother says she is embarrassed because of him and says to Non’s father that if he weren’t a loser then Non wouldn’t be one too. Non very much is receiving a message whether she meant it or not because emotions were high is irrelevant. Non is receiving the message that he is a burden and an embarrassment. Non is aware of his family's financial situation as well. We see him say it to Phee several times about how he wants to solve his own problems and he does not want to burden people. I do not think Non lied to Phee because he wanted to, I think he did it because not only would it put another thing on Phee’s shoulders after he already went to his dad once for Non but also puts Non in a vulnerable position. I personally was asked many times by people oh are you okay? Are you sure everything is good because you look upset? And everytime I lied because I didn't want to be a burden but I also never wanted to look at myself as a victim or admit that I was a victim because that bit of fragile control on my life was one of the only things I could control. And as an adult I have had the chance to talk to some people I knew at the time and they all told me they knew I was lying about being okay or even though I cried and then would say I was fine, I wasn’t. But they all felt like if they pushed me to talk I would never tell them and my one friend said point blank at least I could make you forget about it for a while even if I didn’t really know what you wanted a distraction from. I 100% feel this is exactly what is Non’s perspective. He cannot control how Por, Tee, Top, Fluke and even Jin treat him. He cannot control how his parents view him. He cannot control Phee or Phee’s decisions to love or help him. He cannot control Keng. He cannot take back getting involved with Tee and the money laundering or the consequences of that. What Non can control is how he feels or what he takes control of. Non can control whether he views himself as a victim. He can also control whether he finishes the movie that he wrote the script for. The movie and script are something he did, they come from him and are something at the end of the day regardless of anyone else he Non can be proud of. I think while we may not view his staying with the group healthy and it's not, or his lying to Phee about things that are happening good cause it’s not; it makes sense to Non. Because again he is a teenager who is vulnerable and easily exploitable and has very little control and teenagers whose brains are not fully developed are making not only decisions they think are best or worst at the time but also making decisions based on what they know at that moment. Seeing people who are watching this show and who are hating on Non or do not understand what happened between Non and Keng infuriate me. Should we all feel bad for Phee? Yes. He wants to be there for Non, he loves him and wants to care , on top of knowing that Non is being bullied and seeing what Keng did has to be heartbreaking and frustrating. Also without context to their conversations Phee as a fellow teenager may not be aware or understand fully what Keng did to Non is not on Non.

You can feel bad for Phee without victim blaming Non.

Non made poor choices regarding his trust with Phee or his ability to trust Phee but none of those things mean that he deserved what happened or that because it seems like he consented that it is all just fine and he cheated on Phee and had sex with Keng.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk!!

#dead friend forever #dff the series #barcode tinnasit #be on cloud #copper phuriwat #dff spoilers #fuaiz thanawat #jj chalach #jjay patiphan #mio athens #bl series #ta nannakun #bump pawat #jet jetsadakorn #us nititorn #pheenon #dead friend forever the series #dff

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fukutomichi · 2 months ago

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It’s review ramble rant tiiiiime! Decided to go on and post about my thoughts as the iron is still hot and my braincells are still firing. Lots of spoilers are gonna be in there and it’s looong as hell so you’ve been warned! Grab a cup of coffee or tea. Here we go!

Okay, the general feel about Season 2 is that it is slightly better than Season 1 for sure, better at some parts, but has shortcomings on others, BUT STILL, we got what we got and I think it was overall positive.

The first 3 episodes being aired was a direct response from the previous backlash that they had about Season 1 starting slow. And yes, those first 2 episodes were shaaaky as hell, but they found their feet in Episode 4 and then the series picked up with full steam ahead. This time to avoid this, they wanted to get the set up out of the way as soon as possible and then release at a weekly schedule. Was it a smart idea? It would have been. If the series was longer than 8 episodes?

This latest trend of overblown streaming series with such small number of episodes, between A HUGE waiting period for each season, needs to stop. I get that the RoP crew would need more time, schedules with other actors, filming locations, building locations, writing, filming huge battle sequences, CGI. But I feel everyone is still chasing The Game of Thrones type of hype, and the studios need to realize that it ain’t happening anymore, not for a while. Just focus on making good stories with interesting complex characters and the viewers will come. Stop trying to make series be movies. I caught one of the directors in one of the BTS clips for Episode 7 saying “We’re not making series, we’re making movies” AND THAT’S THE BIGGEST PROBLEM. STOP DOING THAT.

I would sacrifice all the big budget CGI sequences and wide beautiful shots for just a minute of conversation between Gil-galad and Cirdan. I don’t want “the Balrog shot that was 5 years in the minds of the showrunners”, I wanted people to see why Gil-galad respects Cirdan so much, instead of my non-reading Silmarillion friends asking me what’s his deal with him, and me having to explain that Cirdan is as close to a family member to the high king, that’s his adoptive dad. The series is very non-reading Silm friendly, but they somehow fail to explain some of the crucial relationships between characters. I KNOW there’s next season maybe they’ll expand on it, but some things like that need to be established IMMEDIATELY.

But with 8 episodes, what can you really focus on to adapt and show on the screen? This is why, AGAIN, stop making movies, we want a series. The biggest strength that a series has is CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND PACING. A series will always have the upper hand in that, and they are still trying to make a movie, cut in 8 parts. Please, arrange the pace for 10 episodes, so it doesn’t feel like one episode is laid back, and then the next one is rushing to the finish line. MAKE A SERIES, NOT MOVIES.

The thing that made Game of Thrones great those 4 first seasons was not the big battles or the CGI dragons. It was people talking in rooms. Their history and relationship with each other. Actors giving their A++ game with dialog which was moving the story. THAT made Game of Thrones worth the hype.

Learning about the fact that they have a change in the writers room can either be a good thing, with some storylines now being over and concluded so they might be preparing to change gears for Season 3, or with my mind going always in work corporate mode, writers not being payed as they should for their work so why stay…

The series did get a brush with the writer’s strike, which I will always support. YOU CAN’T HAVE A STORY WITHOUT GOOD WRITING! PAY YOUR WRITERS!!

I think Episode 8 is where I felt some stuff were cut off and rushed, probably during the strike, that were set up in Episode 7, didn't land well. But I’ll get to that.

I started this in rant mode, but had to get it out of the way cause it bothered me the most. The series has SO much potential and it sometimes pains me to see fail on the most basic stuff.

Okay, moving on with the juicy stuff now!

This season was The Charlies™ season, hands down. Absolute rollercoaster with Celebrimbor and Annatar/Sauron playing off each other on the screen. From the moment Sauron enters Eregion, to the final shot of him stealing Fëanor’s hammer. The showrunners were fully concentrated to that side of the story and, holy hell did they outdo themselves there. Charles Edwards as Celebrimbor needs to get some push for awards, or somehow ship one to him. I remember being a little a skeptic at first about his portrayal, since we got so little of him is Season 1, but as you rewatch it, you can see the foundations being set for his character. Season 2 is where he’s fully unleashed and, he is truly THE Celebrimbor. A sweet, sensitive soul that just strives to get out of his family’s shadow, by creating something unique that would be his legacy. A perfect victim for Sauron that finds his connection with Celebrimbor through that. I loved the fact that they filmed their scenes in order of the episodes and it shows the slow descent of both of their characters, helplessness and paranoia for Celebrimbor and Sauron barely managing his uncanny elf mask while trying to withhold annoyance and rage. Masterful acting by both. The last scene with them was MUCH more impactful than if we would have gotten the banner scene in the book. They started their pact alone in the forge, and they ended their manipulative partnership, alone in that same forge. With Celebrimbor getting the upper hand in death. Sauron AGAIN getting a knife straight into the heart, but with words instead of a pointy crown. Only this time, he won’t be able to get pay back for the insult. Because Celebrimbor in death, went where Sauron CAN NEVER go. The slow realization that he’s always gonna be a prisoner in his own cycle of violence. He has many names…And the cycle begins again.

Bless you Charles Edwards, thank you for being our Celebrimbor.

Charlie, be seeing ya next season you giggly perfect casting of Sauron’s messy character person you!

I was most excited to see were the elvish side of the story is gonna go after the end of Season 1, with the making of the three rings. And I think they did well! Robert Aramayo, I once again put myself on blast for ever doubting you as Elrond. My hubris must follow me till the end of this series. You have a shitty old phone, don’t know what a Brat Edit is and will never read this, but the universe will know of my foolishness.

Elrond's feud with Galadriel HURT to watch. Those are two besties that want their best for each other and will protect each other no matter what. The rift that was going on between them and mending it in the last episode was so sweet, kudos to Morfydd as well for always bringing her A++ acting game. FINALLY we have a bit more of Gil-galad this season and IS STILL not enough. I ranted before about not a single blip of a Gil-Cirdan convo happening, but getting FREAKING BEN DANIELS for just a few scenes IS CRIMINAL!!! Also, still sad about that beard of his, he was already perfect damn iiiit.

I’m glad that we had this push and pull with the elvish rings, are they good are they bad, they are a new invention and the elves have no idea how to deal with them at first. Gil-galad and Galadriel’s visions were a nice representation of that. What are their power levels, what are they truly capable off. What I like to believe though, is that while Sauron had his hands on crafting the seven and the nine…guess who’s hands last touched the mithril that made the three. It was Elrond. With all his hopes and need to help his kind survive when he threw that nugget into the melting pot in the last episode in Season 1. And guess who wears those rings now? His closest family and the people he cares the most. When he finally decides to give Nenya a chance, we get to see the result of all his hopes and desire to protect those he loves the most in the last scene of this season. Rivendell. ELROND’S KINDNESS is the reason the elvish rings remain untouched by Sauron’s evil.

Galadriel vs Sauron. Oh! OH! I can only imagine Lúthien smiling and pointing at Galadriel, Sparta kicking him over the boulder. “That’s my girl! THAT’S MY GIRL! Wipe the floor with that bozo!!” If I’m being honest, spoiling myself with Bear Mccreary’s Season 2 soundtrack, listening to the track “The Last Temptation” gave soooo many vibes that something might happen to Galadriel that will leave me SHOOK, aka taking Sauron’s offer and Elrond being there to witness it, but Bear tricked meeee!!! She just fell through a tree! The clash was *chef’s kiss* though, Sauron constantly shapeshifting trying to mess with Galadriel’s feelings and even pulling the Halbrand puppy eyes card. But she wasn’t having it. Sauron gets denied, AGAIN.

Alexa, play Drive by The Cars for one dark lord. And conjure some of that sad rain again while you go waddle your way home to Mordor, you absolute clown.

HEAL YOURSELF. QUEEN.

We got more of the dwarves as well and the creation of the seven rings. I was a little disappointed that we got robbed of the Narvi and Celebrimbor friendship happening while making the Doors of Durin, but what can you choose to put in just 8 episodes, right? Sophia and Owain truly are such an amazing combo to watch as Disa and Durin, they did amazingly this season. I’m gonna miss Peter Mullan as King Durin, every scene with him and Owain was just beautiful and heart breaking. “Forgive me my son, King Durin”. I was choking in tears not even 5 minutes into the last episode. And will you look at that, forgiveness is the theme that starts off the episode, huh?

The Uruk storyline…where do I even begin jfc. I went from Season 1 and loving Adar as an interesting unique character, to loving the entire Uruk story with its sad tragic end. Whoever was responsible for that, amazing job.

I was sad when Jospeh Malwe left and his role was recasted. But HOLY SHIT, enter Sam Hazeldine and he just took that character to a new height. Adding more complexity, adding more black speech to his dialog, and being a representative of my favorite theme that I speculated is central to this season. Forgiveness.

The orcs being humanized was a great move imo. Because how else would we see the tragedy that is their entire kind being slaves to their own violent nature, that Adar sees past it, and Sauron can’t wait to exploit it. When Sauron tells Celebrimbor about the fall of Gondolin and the orcish blood rage I was FEASTING. THIS is how you introduce lore and expand on the history of the characters. They are a tragic invention of Morgoth, and yet are still sentient beings with names and feelings, that have been drilled and brainwashed about the fact that they’ll never be accepted by anyone, ever. Adar doing everything possibly wrong just to protect them, only to serve them right at Sauron’s feet as his new army.

I’m sad that we couldn’t have had more of Adar’s character and he was absolutely full with potential, but he was doomed by the narrative from Season 1 and his actions had led to have little wiggle room for him to be left alive in the end. His last moments with Galadriel were beautiful. The very opposite of Sauron and Celebrimbor. He breaks from his cycle of violence and chooses forgiveness and peace. What happened after that though, was what we were supposed to be expecting about Adar's fate from the very first episode. Sauron never forgives and never lets a debt of insult go unpaid.

But what I DIDN’T like is the fact we never had a resolution between him and Arondir. Them stabbing each other and both of them still walking it off?? This is where the disconnect between episode 7 and 8 begins. Cause when they face off on the battlefield, you can see Arondir mouthing some words to Adar, but it must have been cut in the editing room. Adar was Arondir’s main reason why he lost everything and we will never have an appropriate closure between them I guess. Adar and Galadriel forgave each other, but he never asked Arondir for forgiveness. And we should have seen that. Instead, as one of my friends put it while we were gossiping about the last episode “And they just left Adar laying on that hill, huh?”

I want to believe he was Maglor, but hey, even with his elvish identity remaining a mystery, he still wanted the name he earned. I think that was nicely done. They didn’t have the rights to the lore after all lol.

Sam Hazedine, I hope you get a huge bump up in your CV for playing such an amazing character and may you get other amazing acting roles in the future.

For now, what me and my friends group came up as a batshit “How do we still keep him in the series somehow” plan in 1am in the cafe drinking americanos, we figured he should apply to play as Glorfindel, but with a shaggy beard! Glorfindel is already half-maia at that point. He can get the wizard/elf vibes! Go with the grizzled dad look, no one will notice!! SEND YOUR CV, SAM!!

NÚMENOR!!! We’re slowly, but surely getting to the “and the island goes boom” storyline and ooooohhh I can’t wait. We’re getting hints of Isildur being the messy character that he is. As we slowly go through episode 3, we are hit with the biggest foreshadowing shot in the season, him basically seeing his own ending in the water. And what does he do there?? He steals from a dead man. He then meets and falls for a girl that’s already spoken for. What does he do? Tries to steal her too. Still riddled with guilt for the death of his mother, and using that to try to at least make up for it and cover his guilt with it. But this is Isildur we are talking about. Name a better combo than Isildur and bad decisions. But I love the fact that he was paired up this season with Theo. Similar experiences, both connecting through their loss. And I LOVE Theo’s arc so far, probably the character I’m most interested to see how his story will unfold.

See, a friend of mine had an interesting theory that, while everyone is still going about Theo being either the Witch King or the King of the Dead…he might have another direction. What If Theo is Aragorn’s other side of the bloodline? Okay. Bronwyn falling for Arondir, human in love with an elf. Can you guess who has the same taste as well? Theo’s unknown lineage on his father’s side. It is almost as an open door to introduce the Dúnedain still living in Middle-Earth, and what better way to introduce them, then through Theo. A mainland Númenor vs. Númenor storyline? The paring of Isldir and him this season is also a hint. “The king’s hands are the hands of a healer”. And guess who’s the ONLY healer in Pelargir now? Theo ALWAYS choosing to stay with his people regardless if he’s been given a way out with either Arondir or Isildur…

Are we’re on to the showrunners or are they just throwing hints like this to lead people in one direction while they figure out his story?

Back on the island, things are heating up for the Faithful vs. The Kings Men, and I’m here for the doomed story that is Miriel and Elendil. I’M HERE FOR IIIT!!! Pharazôn using both Kemen and Eärien as his tools to set himself on the throne was nicely done too. I was a little disappointed to see some Eärien hate going on though? Pharazôn, used her grief and anger for HIS means. After everything that her family goes through, she has the right to be angry and look for someone to blame. Why would she blame her father? He was under the queen’s orders, right? Grief makes you do terrible things and makes you blind, her respect for Pharazôn as the “smart” leader, falls right into Pharazôn’s hands in the right moment. And he uses it. He tries to turn her against her father too. BUT what does she do? SHE TRUSTS her father and goes AGAINST HERSELF to call the queen to help her save her Elendil, SHE KNOWS about their feelings for each other at that point, even if she doesn’t agree with it. Her love and loyalty to her family is stronger then everything Pharazôn threw at her. I never wanna see Eärien hate in the tags, as Galadriel says it best, heal yourself pls.

Kemen’s development on the other hand, I find really interesting. I get that he’s everyone’s favourite to hate right now, and Leon Wadham does an incredible job if people have such strong reactions to his character. Please don't be weird and don't harass him, he seems incredibly sweet compared to his RoP character. But there’s something really sad about him, you have this númenorian nepo baby that has everything on a golden platter, but the only thing he craves for is his father approval. And his father happens to be the worst person ever. He doesn’t want the scepter, he wants his father to have it. The moment he mentions to Pharazôn “us” he IMMEDIATELY cuts him off with a look and starts telling his own son how his dead mother had an ill prophecy about him. Cruel to the bone. And he blackmails him into telling it IF he does his bidding well. Of course, Kemen does a shit job at it, and we lost Valandil in the process, WHICH I DIDN’T EXPECT!!…BUT, I’m gonna take his death into advancing Kemen’s arc into a more villainous path, him arriving at Pelargir and seeing Isildur alive was such a moment, I had to cackle! The SINGLE PERSON RESPONSIBLE for the start of the domino effect of Númenor slowly going towards its downfall, turns up alive and is headed back home. Where Kemen killed his best friend, imprisoned his father, helped banishing his father, helped imprisoning Miriel and his sister is now target number one of Pharazôn. And Isildur saved Kemen’s life. Name a better combo than Isildur and bad decisions.

Now, mentioning Valandil, I gotta rant about something else. And it’s about character deaths, especially for POC characters. Valandil dying, while not liking it, thinking it would happen much later when Númenor finally goes boom, it makes kinda sense for him to loose his life to Kemen, WHILE IN THE TEMPLE OF NIENNA. Lady of forgiveness, mercy and grief. Kemen even breaks her statue, which we should take as Kemen being beyond forgiveness. Advancing his character into a darker path. And then Nienna would be the first to forgive him lol.

But Rian?? Dying in the battle for Eregion like that? I get that her death represents a visual queue of the sheer evil and misery that is war. But, Vorohil surviving Boromor levels of arrows in his back, but not Rian? They couldn’t have switched their roles for that?? Rian being the messenger and Vorohil dying to protect his commander?? I’m kinda relieved that at least he survived from Elrond’s little party group, and Camnir is godknows where, but come on man. COME ON MAAAAN! Do better next time please, showrunners. If you introduce cool characters, at least don’t take them away like that, especially when they are POC.

And lastly…the Harfoot storyline. Oh boy. I don’t know if I’m in the minority, but for me this is probably this season's weakest point, A STARK difference from the previous season where I was invested the most. AND WE FINALLY GOT THE CONFIRMATION THAT HE’S GANDALF!! And it felt like, eh. We been knew.

This probably was the most cut storyline and felt like so many moments were missing. HAVING CIARÁN HINDS ONLY FOR A FEW SCENES!?! CRIMINAL!!! At least we got to see some Rhún scenery and got to see another clan of halflings. But the transition to the last episode felt like it lasted like 3 minutes, and then compare the previous season finale where everyone was still buttclenching if Halbrand or The Stanger was Sauron, right until the last conflict with the cultists! THAT was a nice ending of a climax. This season felt like they really didn’t want to bother with it anymore and now we have Gandalf going to Tom Bombadil, which is another perfect cast with Rory Kinnear, and Nori and Poppy leading the remaining Stoors, west. The gang is split. And it felt like a blip, compared to the goodbyes from the previous finale where emotions were high and you felt crushed and hopeful at the same time. But this storyline is now over, so that’s that.

I think that’s the overall general feelings for this season! Not going TOO much into detail, cause this will probably be a BEYOND long post lol.

Previous Personal MVP from Season 1 for me was definitively Daniel Weyman as GANDALF, having so little dialog, but using body language and emotions to act his way into the story. Season 2 MVP goes to Sam Hazeldine’s Adar. The dude swooped in and made the character his own and added so much more. To make me ROOT for the orcs? BLACK SPEECH making me emotional?! Unheard of!! Rest easy Uruk goth king, may you live in other people’s fanfics and be an inspiration for other amazing complex characters.

So…what do we expect now from Season 3 coming up?

Rivendell is coming up baybeeeeh!!! The first defensive bastion of the elves before the war with Sauron starts to heat up! Oh, that last shot was just beyond beautiful, BUT LIKE I SAID!! I would have had Ben Daniels just coming over and saying a few words than having that CGI shot.

SO MORE CIRDAN NEXT SEASON, PLEASE!!!

I honestly have no idea where Galadriel’s arc is gonna be headed, but her connection to Sauron will always be there, now that she’s sort of marked? by his crown and the evil it’s made off, I wonder if it’s gonna come into play like Frodo when being stabbed by the Witch King’s blade.

We didn’t get Celeborn as a surprise, and looking back, it was just impossible to get that. Season 1 and 2 are almost glued to one another and if you look at it from another side, it’s a full 16 episode season. This was basically Part 1….of The Rings of Power The Movie.

Hopefully more of the golden boi Gil-galad, give the man more twirling Aeglos moments, come on!! AND MORE GOLDEN FAM MOMENTS TOGETHER!! PLEASE. Some people still don’t know that Galadriel is Gil-galad’s auntie!!

Sauron snatching Fëanor’s Hammer from Celebrimbor was VILE. And I loved it. He killed the only person talented enough to use it, and now he is left on his own to craft the final ring, by probably a) melting the hammer b) using it half-assedly and in the process messing up the One Ring so that’s why he ends up binding his entire life force to the Ring. BUT before he does that, he has the Nine Rings and he needs Nine Kings. So we’re on our way to seeing more Kingdoms of Men and that means we’re getting more casting announcements as the months go by.

Pelargir!!! Theo being stuck with Kemen? Recipe for trouble. Hopefully Estrid gets some character development there, cause what we got so far from her was not enough imo. We’re already on our way to seeing the Ent’s promise getting broken. UGHH!! I don’t wanna see that, not when Episode 4 made me so emotional and is probably one of my favourites so far. We’re gonna get a clash with the Low Men vs Númenor for sure and this is where it starts.

We’re getting Khazad-Dum’s Game of Thrones!! NOOOOOO!! I don’t want them clashing with each other uughhh, especially family, but their fate is already written and it’s not gonna be a happy one. We will see if Durin will be tempted to use his father's ring as well. He did leave it to his son. So hoping they go for the emotions in that storyline. And in the mix there’s also the rift being open again between Durin and Elrond. And is it gonna get wider, or are we gonna see it mended next season? QUEEN DISA PLEASE PULL THROUGH!!

NÚMENOOOOR AGAAAAIN!! GOD there’s gonna be a lot of pain in there. And I was off with my prediction, we’re not getting Anárion this season, but we’re DEFINITIVELY getting Anárion next season!! Isildur coming home is gonna cause some chaos I’m sure, finding out pretty much like the pizza burning meme gif that A LOT of shit has happened during his absence. Are we gonna see a rift between Eärien and Isildur though? Her actions pretty much stem from his “death”, so it will be interning to see if the siblings clash or try to settle things first and find their dad and other brother. Pharazôn slowly setting himself up for the arrival of someone special AKA Sauron. We’re maybe still too far off from that plot, but as much as I enjoyed The Charlies™ and their scenes together, I CAN’T WAIT to see Charlie and Trystan being a combo act on screen. I LOVE Trystan’s portrayal as Pharazôn, he just oozes those charming but menacing vibes when he’s in his act. And to pair that up with Charlie? Which mask will he choose to manipulate him with? OH! CAN’T WAAAAIT!!

And then again lastly, as each season and episode, the Harfoots and Gandalf. It was nice to see that we’re getting the lore about how the halflings find The Shire, so we’ll probably gonna follow them on their travels to the west, and hopefully they meet some of the other key characters from the series. At some point, most of the characters HAVE TO HAVE A BRIDGE to meet up, instead of getting multiple separate stories. Hopefully Season 3 is that. Gandalf being mentored by Tom Bombadil in Rhún while the other wizard is still on the loose. The showrunners did confirm that Cirian is not Saruman, so that makes him one of the blues that failed their mission. They can go aaaanywhere with this storyline, but they better bring it up closer to Sauron and Galadriel. If they wanna show us the connection between Galadriel and Gandalf, and why Gandalf fears Sauron so much, I think Season 3 is the best point to start.

And that's pretty much it I guess.

Now the painful wait of TWO FREAKING YEARS begins for Season 3.

I'm gonna try to stay as active as possible with my gifs and plan out some sets, maybe including some of the other acting gigs of the other RoP actors, like my "Hazeldine cope mechanism for Thursday" sets, if my time allows it. But time is all we have now.

September flew by for me with this series. Like, 28th of August was two weeks ago, right?

So what are we doing next Thursday?