#I have had a fireman yell at me for his being called out to deal with an at-the-time unconscious drunk guy who woke up and swore at them

[ditzyredrobin]

Tim Drake (The Spleen-Less Wonder)

My second Bad Things Happen square in as many days because I can’t control myself. 😅

Prompt: Bundled Up in Blankets

-

“Jason, put me down, now!” Tim snaps, trying to wrestle his way out of the blanket burrito he is currently rolled into. He’s currently slung over his shoulders in a fireman’s carry and pissed.

Well, beyond pissed.

Pissed doesn’t even begin to encapsulate the raging fury he’s currently feeling, being carried around like an oversized toddler. He kicks hard at Jason’s chest with his slippered feet, trying to gain some leverage to escape.

Jason isn’t even phased at his wriggling and kicking, he just keeps walking up the driveway. “What did I tell you, kid? Fuck around and find out.”

“It’s not that big a deal, seriously. It’s just a cold.”

It was. He hadn’t even broken 101 degrees yet which was barely even a fever and a total win in his book. If he was careful and took his antibiotics (which he had been, there was a timer set in his phone and everything) it would go away in no time.

“Like I said, you fucked around and now you’re going to find out. You could have stayed home but nooo. Tim Drake, the spleen-less fucking wonder, decided tonight was as good a night as any to hit the streets, never mind the sleet and windchill.” Jason mocks deadpan, renewing his grip. “Suck it up, buttercup. You did this to yourself. Deal with it.”

Tim rolls his eyes, “It’s Wayne.”

Jason pushes right through the front door to the manor without knocking. “What is?”

“My name. It’s not Drake, it’s Wayne.”

When he had been adopted, he’d officially become a Wayne. When he had taken over as CEO of Wayne enterprises after Batman had been lost in time, it only renewed that belief. He was a Wayne through and through and if the tabloids caught wind of his being carted around by strange men, he was going to have to send his publicist an apology bouquet again. And maybe a bottle of wine.

As much as Damian may have been opposed to it, he was a Wayne.

“Always a dramatic little shit,” Jason muttered under his breath. “Look, I don’t give a fuck if you’re a Drake or a Wayne or something else entirely. What I do give a fuck about is someone ruining the lead I’ve been working for over a month because he decided not to stay in bed like he was supposed to.”

“And I’m the one being dramatic?”

“Yeah, you are. You know, I’m really glad you’re finally taking the time to self reflect. You should try journaling or some shit when you’re feeling big feelings instead of passing out and nearly braining yourself.”

Really, it hadn’t been that bad. He just needed a minute to sit and then he would have been fine. If Jason hadn’t overreacted, he would not have almost lost his lead.

“I did not. I’m fine. Now can you put me down?”

“You passed right the fuck out, Replacement. That sounds pretty bad to me.” Jason says but doesn’t budge.

“Did not.”

“Did to.”

Tim groans, giving one last weak kick. This was getting him nowhere fast other than wanting his bed. The DayQuil and Red Bull were starting to wear off and the drowsiness was setting in again to bone deep exhaustion. The kind that makes him want to curl up for the next 24 hours and just sleep.

Not an option, unfortunately. He had a board meeting in just over six hours. If he manages to go to bed right now, he should still have time to get in a couple of hours of sleep before he needs to get ready.

“Bruce! Get out here and take care of your belongings.” Jason calls into the otherwise silent manor. It was just after six am meaning Bruce wouldn’t have been in bed for very long.

Tim grimaced at the way Jason’s voice echoed through the halls. If Jason’s complete disregard for the alarm didn’t wake him up, his shouting definitely did. “You really don’t have to do this.” He beds quietly, like that would help matters at all.

One could hope.

“Like hell I don’t.” Jason’s snaps back and opens his mouth like he’s going to yell again when Bruce comes running around the corner.

His eyes are panicked and he’s dressed in a robe, the tie is caddywhampus, and honest to god fuzzy bunny slippers. “Jay, what's wrong?” It takes him a long moment to process what he’s holding. “Is that-?”

“Yours.” Jason finishes, meeting Bruce half way. Without warning, he dumps Tim unceremoniously off his shoulders, earning him an indignant squawk.

If it had been anyone other than Bruce, Tim would have worried, bundled up so tight, he couldn’t stop himself before he hit the ground. But this was Bruce after all.

He caught Tim swiftly before he hit the ground, cradling to his chest. “Tim? What’s going on?”

Jason rolls his eyes, crossing his arms. “Next time, take care of your little birds, or I’m not giving them back. We don’t have any more mishaps do we?”

Bruce grimaces, tightening his grip on Tim, pulling him in just a little closer. “What happened? I thought he was supposed to be in bed last night.”

“He’s here too, you know.” Tim uttered but neither Bruce or Jason didn’t acknowledge him.

“Apparently someone failed to tell him that because one minute he was being an annoying little shit and the next he tried to pass the fuck out in the middle of an op. One I’ve been working for months, mind you.” Jason says. “All I know is if he fucks up like that again, it’ll be on your head. Capeesh?”

Bruce nods solemnly, looking pained. “Thank you for bringing him home.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, don’t mention it.” Jason says, trying to sound annoyed but there was a fondness in his voice. “Seriously, don’t mention it. Just do better. The kid is an idiot with the self preservation skills of a wet paper bag.”

Bruce sighs, “I’ll make sure he’s taken care of.” And in a small voice adds, “You know you can stay too. You’re welcome home anytime, Jaylad. Alfred misses you, I miss you.”

“You know this isn’t my home, Bruce. I only came back for the kid.” Jason turns back to the door.

“Maybe so but Alfred is making pot roast on Sunday.”

Jason freezes for a moment. “I’ll…think about it.”

Bruce smiles softly, “I look forward to it. Goodnight, son.”

Jason waves him off and leaves, closing the front door behind him, muttering under his breath. Something about Tim and Bruce not being his dad and roast beef sandwiches.

With Jason gone, the entirety of Bruce’s attention is turned to Tim, examining him with big, blue eyes and a kicked-puppy look. “Did you really almost faint? Be honest with me.”

Tim looks away, feeling his cheeks flush. “Maybe? It really wasn’t that bad. I’m just tired.”

Bruce sighs again (because his sons will be the death of him) and starts towards the cave. “You could have gotten seriously injured if Jason wasn’t there.”

“I know.”

He did. There was just so much to do, he didn’t have time to sit down and rest like a civilian. Crime was an ever present entity—if he didn’t help, people were injured and bodies of the innocent filled the morgues. The bodies of good people with lives and hopes and families and dreams.

What use was he if he couldn’t help?

“Do you, Tim? What would’ve happened if you were by yourself? What if your cold gets worse or turns into pneumonia again?”

“I know,” he says again in a small voice.

He really, truly did, but crime stopped for no one.

Bruce’s sighs exasperated, “You’re benched and staying here until you’re better where Alfred and I can monitor you.”

No, no, no, no, no! He can’t—he won’t.

“You can’t, please, I can’t.” Tim begs.

“You can and you will. I will also be handling the board meeting that mysteriously disappeared from my calendar.” Bruce says, giving him a knowing look.

Tim grimaces, “You noticed?”

“I noticed.” Bruce confirms.

He’s Batman. Of course he noticed.

“And there’s no way I can convince you to change your mind?”

Bruce shakes his head, carrying him not back up the stairs to his room, but the clock and the cave. “Not a chance, bud.”

There was no escaping now, not when Bruce’s mind was made up. If they were heading to the cave, where Alfred must have already been waiting, no doubt with an endless supply of warm blankets and IV fluids. He was sure there would be chicken soup later when it was closer to any normal person's time of day.

Tim leans his head back against Bruce—his father’s—shoulder, letting his eyes shut. “I’m sorry.” It’s a small thing but Bruce hears him and hugs him a little closer.

“I know you are. Let’s get you to bed and later we’ll have a long conversation about self care and boundaries, okay?”

“Okay,” he agrees, already half asleep. He didn’t want to but it was unavoidable. Now he would focus on the gentle sway as he walked, the thrum of his heart in his chest. “Hey dad?”

“Hm? What's up, champ?”

“I love you.”

Bruce chuckles and presses a kiss to the top of his hair. “I love you, too.”

[crimsonwolf715]

Loss of Identity

(This one's darker, so I feel like I need to put a disclaimer with the possible TWs: Mentions of torture and human experimentation [turning Denki into a Nomu process], temporary character death [again it’s Kaminari with the Nomu process], blood, injury, begging someone to kill them, mentions of panic attacks)

Shigaraki and Kurogiri walk into base and All For One is waiting for them, with the new Nomu he promised to show them when it was done. They both get a good look at the new Nomu that All For One brought in. 

“Why does it look like that student from UA?” Shigaraki asks, scrunching up his nose a bit. 

“Because it is that student from UA. Unlike Kurogiri, there wasn’t much physical change that you can’t see past if you saw him before,” All For One answers. “This student was highly underused by UA. The good doctor said that he was one of the most resilient living subjects he’s ever tested on. He was able to give him another Quirk, not just boost or alter the one he already had. He gave him power absorbance, which goes right along with his other Quirk. Finally, a piece in the game to get my revenge on All Might and UA.” 

“Did you change his name, Master?” Shigaraki asks. 

“Unfortunately, he was rather attached to his name, so I only changed part of it. I call him Takeru, but he only responds when I do it for now. You can call him that and he’ll figure out that you’re talking to him, but feel free to keep calling him Denki Kaminari if you so please.” 

Everyone’s been looking for Kaminari since the incident that occurred not long after they got their licenses, but nobody’s been able to find him. Most of the Pros have stopped actively looking for him and put it on the back burner since they’re pretty sure that he’s not gonna turn up. Jiro’s been working with Death Arms, hoping that will help her get to Kaminari faster. They’re responding to a small office fire right now. The building is easy to evacuate and the fire department gets there right on time. 

“Is there someone still in there?” one of the firemen yells at Death Arms. 

“Shouldn’t be,” Death Arms answers. “I checked myself.” 

The fireman points and the outline of a person is heading towards the exit. The guy walks out with a backpack on and starts dusting himself off. Jiro’s breath catches as she sees exactly who she’s been looking for. 

His hair is black outside of the lightning bolt, which is blonde and his eyes are purple but look darker due to his blue-tinted sunglasses. His outfit is similar, but the white and yellow are replaced by purple and blue. She immediately recognizes him despite the differences. 

“Denki?” she asks. 

He turns to look at her, but there’s no recognition in his eyes. 

“What happened to you?” 

He shoots a bolt of lightning at Jiro and she rolls behind a car to dodge. Death Arms is dealing with some thugs, but Kaminari’s getting involved and making it hard for him to deal with them. Jiro shoots a blast at him and it sends him flying into a wall. Death Arms finishes dealing with the thugs and goes behind the car with her. He grabs a walkie talkie off of his belt. 

“This is Death Arms requesting backup! The League of Villains is attacking and we don’t have the people to deal with them!” 

The walkie talkie sparks and then blows up in his face. Jiro gets cut up from the broken pieces and despite bleeding, she returns her attention to Kaminari. He’s pointing at them and electricity’s crackling around him as the objects around him are being drained of their energy. Jiro runs towards Kaminari. 

“Denki, it’s me!” she shouts as she dodges blasts of electricity. “What are you doing?” 

Once she gets close enough, she tackles Kaminari and she lands on top of him. She starts trying to take his gear so he won’t have as much control of his Quirk. She gets one of his sharpshooters off before he shoves her off. When their eyes meet again when she gets up. 

“Kill me,” Denki chokes out. 

“No!” 

“Please.” The pain in his voice makes Jiro tear up. 

“Denki, please!” Jiro cries. “Please, I can’t hurt you!” 

“Kill me, please,” Kaminari begs, tears spilling from his eyes as his hands light up with electricity. 

“I can’t!” 

“Please. I… love…” 

The electricity goes out and Kaminari falls forward. Bakugo’s fist is raised and he looks a little guilty. 

“Sorry, Kaminari,” he mumbles, then looks up at Jiro. “Sorry for being late, Jiro. The line cut off before you guys could give us your location. You alright?” 

Jiro’s knees give out and she falls. Deku catches her and she starts sobbing when she sees Kaminari again. Bakugo quickly closes the distance and takes Jiro from Deku, who then goes to get Kaminari. 

“They took him away from me,” Jiro sobs into Bakugo’s shoulder. “My love, they killed him.” 

Bakugo gently rubs her back, trying to give her some form of comfort. 

“They’ll figure out how to turn him back to normal,” Bakugo whispers. “They have to.” 

“They… They killed him.” 

The process isn’t easy, but they manage to reverse the majority of the physical damage done to Kaminari thanks to Eri’s Quirk and very carefully and humanely done testing. The mental damage is the issue. He still has frequent panic attacks and can’t sleep. They can’t even let anyone without a hero license come visit because he freaked out and tried to kill his foster parents when they showed up. 

It’s a little over two months before any of the students get to see him, and that was still a slow process. He asked to see Jiro and Shinso, so they were originally the only two that could come. Once he’s more used to company, they start letting other people see him. Jiro comes more frequently than anybody else, almost daily if her schedule allows for it. 

Kaminari enjoys her company and while she originally couldn’t even see the bright personality that used to live in Kaminari, she’s started to see small parts of it. He’s smiling a bit more whenever she or Shinso’s around. Jiro and Shinso have gotten closer during this experience, becoming each other’s support systems outside of the hospital room Kaminari stays in. 

Jiro arranges the flowers several times, trying to make them look perfect. Denki’s coming home for the first time in nine months and she wants to make sure that everything looks perfect. Luckily, most of the other members of 2-A are out doing things with their families since it’s a Saturday. The only person left in the place is Shinso, who’s holed up in his room and will probably remain there until Kaminari goes to get him. Jiro has to stop and calm down because she’s working herself up too much and she might start crying. 

The door opens and Aizawa walks in. He doesn’t look happy. 

“Is Denki okay?” Jiro asks. 

Aizawa nods, opening the door more to show Kaminari coming up the steps. Jiro smiles and when Kaminari sees her, a small smile crosses his lips. She kinda wants to cry since they weren’t able to fix his hair or eyes, but Kaminari said he doesn’t mind. So she tries not to let it bother her either. When he gets into the room, he goes over and hugs her. She wraps her arms around him and he practically melts. She’s honestly just glad that she can hug him again, since the first six months were no contact since physical contact made him have flashbacks. 

“Jeez, I think you got taller again,” Jiro says, trying to draw her mind away from the thought process. 

“It’s not likely considering it’s only been two weeks,” Kaminari says quietly. 

Jiro rubs his back. When he pulls away, the smile’s still there. 

“You sure you’re okay with this?” Kaminari asks. 

“Of course. I love you,” Jiro answers. 

“You too.” 

Aizawa nods to the duo, then heads towards Shinso’s room. Jiro and Kaminari sit down on the couch and start chatting about what Kaminari missed. After a while of catching up, Deku and Bakugo walk in. Deku’s smile widens when he spots them and Bakugo waves. 

“Hey guys,” Kaminari says. “Good to see ya.” 

Kaminari gets up and walks over. Him and Bakugo briefly bro hug and he gets a normal hug from Deku, but it’s just as brief. 

“I’m glad that you’re back,” Deku says. 

“Glad to be back,” Kaminari replies. 

Bakugo pats him on the shoulder. “We’re gonna make dinner. You want anything particular?” 

“Nah, anything will work. Thanks anyway, Bakugo.” 

Bakugo nods, then the two head into the kitchen. Kaminari sits back down next to Jiro. 

“It’s good to be home,” Kaminari says. 

“I’m glad you’re home,” Jiro replies, leaning her head against his shoulder.

[rosecorcoranwrites]

All excellent points^^^

Also, I feel people who hold the ACAB position are too privileged to have ever had to call the cops. They've never been robbed from or witnessed people about to come to blows or stab each other or anything.

Putting aside my personal, non-work experience, like living at a house that got broken into twice in one month (and then a third time after I moved out), and calling the cops more to have them make sure the person wasn't still inside waiting to assault me than to get any of my or my aunt's belongings back, we have to call the police often at my work.

I work at a public library, and we have to call 911 about once or twice a month. Sometimes, that's to get paramedics to assist somebody we can't wake up (technically we don't care if you sleep in the library, but if we can't rouse a person at all when we check on them, we have to call in case they're experiencing a medical emergency), sometimes that's to get cops to come remove someone who drunk and disruptive (we don't care if you're drunk and minding your own business) or is threatening library staff or patrons. One time it was because there was a group of people in our parking lot fighting over a knife that one of them was threatening to use on herself or others. One time it was because a dude, after tearing off the tag from one of our Library of Things items and being told, specifically, that we could reattach it and that he could check it out at either counter (ie "we're onto you"), just walked out the door with two kits totaling $400; happy to say, the cops found him less than an hour later and got our items back.

But here's a specific story that happened yesterday. I went out from my office into the library and saw two cops talking to a lady and my colleague watching them from afar, livid with rage. I asked what happened, and she said some guy had called the cops after complaining to her about the lady coughing and talking to herself. My colleague had told him that, as she was not talking loudly, that she was not acting against our policy (we are not a quiet library). He told her that he would call the cops in that case, and apparently he did.

Now before we conclude, here's a little backstory, from our and the cop's perspective. We have tons of patrons who talk to themselves, are experiencing homelessness and/or poverty, etc. Some people like to complain about them, and that rightfully ticks us librarians off. Why? Because these people aren't usually the one's causing disturbances. 99 times out of a hundred, they use the library like everyone else: hanging out on computers, reading books, sitting on our comfy furniture, etc. If "talking to oneself" were a reason to call the cops, we'd have to call them multiple times a day.

As for the cops, you might be wondering, why did they even show up, and why two of them? Because earlier that day, they had to respond to a fight that broke out at the entrance of our library, and there had been a separate 911-call-and-hang-up from our location (later, after the incident with the lady, two patrons almost came to blows by our computers. It was one of those days.). So, given that there's a lot going on at our location at present, they both showed up.

Back to the present: my coworker is ticked, and tells the police that the man shouldn't have called them and that the woman wasn't doing anything wrong. They said, and I quote, "Yeah, that's what we determined. We gave her some info on how to get an ID and offered her a ride, but she didn't want one." Then they left. Bastards, am I right? Give me a freaking break!

The vast majority of cops, like the vast majority of people, are decent human beings. Unlike most people, they often have to deal with violence that the rest of us get to wash our hands of. They also, like it or not, also have to deal with mental illness simply because no one else will show up. Literally: there was a time I called our local mental health agency whose whole deal is "call us so you don't have to call the cops" and got put on hold for 8 MINUTES trying to get them to come talk to a suicidal patron. I ended up hanging up and calling 911, and the cops were the ones who bothered showing up.

There are some cops who are criminals and abuse their power, but like any criminal, they should be prosecuted. But if you truly think ACAB, you are no different from someone who thinks all Muslims are terrorists or all Germans are Nazis. IE, you're a bigot who probably hasn't actually met that many cops.

[ @captain-acab ]

So, hear me out. What do we think about radicalizing (or, I guess, de-radicalizing?) police-state-loving right-wing youtubers by swatting them?

Worst case scenario, they get murdered by a pig, which is the pig's fault. Best case scenario, they become vocally anti-pig.

How many times do you think this could be done before all those white conservative men whine and cry enough about it that something is actually done to reduce swatting at a policy level? In other words:

1 - Reduce the number of vocally pro-cop right-wingers (and possibly make some of them start leaning left) 2 - Decrease popular support of police in the general public 3 - Possibly produce some actual police reform (at least by reducing drop-of-a-hat SWAT calls, which would make everyone safer)

Love to hear everyone's thoughts about this completely-hypothetical proposal!

Well it depends a lot on what you're trying to accomplish.

If your goal is to convince Republican voters that they can't rely on the police to lower the rise in crime that followed the 2020 riots and they should switch to lynch mobs of angry Hispanics, saving huge amounts of money on procedural costs like "state-appointed defense attorneys" or "keeping people alive in prisons instead of just extrajudicially executing them on the spot" or "maintaining a chain of evidence instead of just going by what some asshole said on Twitter,"

Then this is a great plan. It will be absolutely awful for race relations and hate crime statistics, but if you think literally nothing has changed in the country since 1850 and that isn't just cynical bullshit rhetoric to convince low-information voters to support the latest plan to nationalize the health insurance system, then you think the situation couldn't possibly get any worse.

If your goal is to convince right-wing streamers that Communists want to kill them all and that they need to support whoever will kill the Communists first... well they already believe that in a sort of distant, general, abstract sense due to all those times Communists killed large numbers of people in the past. But you could convince them that Communists want to kill them immediately, right now, instead of some abstract distant hypothetical. A broad campaign to do this to lots of streamers would be effective here.

If your goal is convincing the government to finally cryptographically secure the phone system so that all callers can be reliably identified and sued, this might also have some effect on that. Republicans might even pass a law that sends SWATters to federal prison for 10 years.

As a positive side effect, the phone network would become usable again due to the reduction in spam calls.

If your goal is to convince right-wingers that it's a good idea, and that they are morally required to, permit crazy people with a dozen prior convictions whose lack of impulse control causes them to push women in front of subway trains, to roam freely among the rest of society out of some dipshit view that all human beings are perfectly identical and that such a guy is, like, a victim of Society, maaan...

It won't work for that.

"You morally have to accept getting a brain concussion from some lunatic because we've deemed him more marginalized than you" just leads to "fuck your morality," which is usually written "Based."

[psychovigilantewrites]

Don’t Call Me That Pt. 3

Word count: 15k+ LMAOOOO

TW: Sex, ptsd, abandonment

A/N: I KNOW I DELAYED MY PUBLICATION!! So i’m very thankful for all your support and patience!!! I will be posting outfit pics after this, heheh. You guys are honestly the best. I love your enthusiasm. Keep it coming!! 

Masterlist

Ao3

The deep heat that penetrated your skin and into your muscles was a relief as you rubbed Tiger Balm onto your shoulders and the back of your stiff neck. The mentol of the ointment smelled strong, yet it made you feel relaxed.

Your muscles were feeling tense for a while, largely contributed to the fact that you patrol much more often now that you were done with highschool and was waiting for when University lectures started. Perhaps you could go for a spa or massage. Bruce would definitely pay for your indulgence.

Even though it had been over a year, you were still the relatively new Robin. Such a drastic change in lifestyle wasn’t easy to get used to. The training, the patrols, the constant vigilance, constant analysis. You still felt like it was your first week.

Standing in front of your window, you tried to look for the full moon. But the night was too cloudy, and you sensed a storm was coming soon based on the way the trees outside swayed brutally in the wind. It was three in the morning, and you had returned from patrol.

Jason waited for you like usual outside his room in the Cave, but this time, he didn’t follow you up to your room. It must have been a rough day for him. Dick had told you that Jason went a little bit too hard at the Cave gym that evening, almost injuring himself if Dick hadn’t stepped in to help.

So there you were left alone with your own thoughts that night. You were so used to having Jason in the room with you, that now you felt a bit lonely without him.

You frowned. You thought you had heard footsteps in the distance, but now they were gone. Shrugging to yourself, you concluded that must have been Dick returning to his room for the night.

The door slammed open and you jumped in surprise.

But before you could turn around in response, you felt a pair of arms around your waist, pulling you close to a hard, warm body.

Jason sobbed silently into your back, his forehead resting on your right shoulder. You didn’t ask him why, you didn’t say any words of comfort. Instead, you put your hands over his and squeezed tightly, as tight as how your chest felt.

After fifteen minutes, he finally spoke up.

“I’m sorry,” he choked, “It’s just- it’s been haunting me more these past few days.”

“What has?”

“The nightmares,” he gave a watery reply, “Or- I just can’t stop thinking about it. Even during the day.”

You pursed your lip. “Is it the same one?”

“It always is,” he whispered solemnly, “All the time.”

***

Again, your hair was soaking.

During any other nights of stakeouts in the pouring Gotham rain, you would have complained or wished you brought a shower cap with you. But that night, you were silent.

On the rooftop of a warehouse in the loading bay of Dixon Docks, you and Batman were crouching low near the edges of the roof, using the cement wall that rose to your hips when you were standing as a shield from the two other armed guards on the roof of the building across from yours.

The informant had told Batman that a load of weapons were coming in that night, but he didn’t know what time. So there you were, waiting in the cold wet weather, slowly going into your second hour already.

Anxious and bored, you clipped open your cape and dropped it to the ground for you to sit on. It was drenched and that made it even heavier than it already was.

“Bruce,” you spoke up.

“Batman when we’re in uniform,” he corrected you.

“Right,” you said, “Can I ask you something?”

He nodded, water droplets running down from the sharp tip of his cowled nose.

“Have you ever thought of- of killing Joker?”

The sound of water against concrete provided much cover for your voice, and you weren’t sure if Bruce had answered or not.

“All the time,” he finally did.

“But…?” you prompted.

“But that would be the start of something much worse,” he said solemnly, gazing in the distance.

You waited for him to explain, but he never did.

“What does that mean?” you probed, “I’m not saying all of them, Bruce. Just him.”

“Batman.”

“What?”

“It’s Batman when we’re out.”

You let out a frustrated sigh. “Okay. Batman. Just Joker. Just for what he did. All the things he did.”

He answered you with silence.

“Look, I know your rationale, and I understand it, I really do. A lot of these people, they didn’t ask for this. They didn’t ask to be desperate enough to have to choose to be a criminal. Hell, even Pyg can’t help it. He’s got.. Schizophrenia or something, right? But Joker… He’s got no excuse. The man is plain evil. And he’s better off dead.”

“We don’t know enough about Joker to rule it out as plain evil,” Batman tried to rationalize with you, “And we don’t get to choose who lives and who dies. That’s not our job. That’s not anyone’s job.”

The rain came down hard, and it sounded like white noise as you registered what Batman told you. He was still defending Joker.

“What if I told you I wanted to kill him?” you whispered, so low that if it were anyone else, they wouldn’t be able to catch your words.

“Then I’ll stop you.”

“No,” you tried to keep your voice from breaking, “You wouldn’t. Not if- not if you knew. Not if you truly knew what he did to Jason.”

You saw him clench his jaw, but he left you with no reply.

“I want him dead, Bruce,” you grit, “I want to rip him apart and scrape every single cell in his body against every surface of this planet, Bruce. I want him to feel everything that he did.”

“Robin, for the last time-”

Oh, no. Don’t you dare.

“When we’re on patrol, it’s Bat-”

“I don’t give a fuck!” you yelled, standing up on your feet in anger, forgetting where you were at that moment.

“Robin, down!”

You felt it first before you heard it.

A sharp pain that vibrated through your bones. You felt the pain power through you from your back, just a few inches below your shoulder, and then you fell forward. You tried to break the fall with both your arms, but your right arm couldn’t move, so you fell almost flat on your face into the ground.

And then you heard it, the loud BANG of a gun, Batman yelling something in the distance and then disappearing, more gun shots, and then footsteps rushing towards you.

“Robin,” he said with urgency in his voice, “Are you okay?”

“Can’t- breathe- pain- ow-” you gasped, trying hard to manage with shallow breaths, because every time you inhaled, the pain became more intense.

“We need to get you back. Can you move?”

“I- I think so-” you tried to move your legs, wincing when you moved your upper body. Batman lifted you up by gripping onto your left arm, pulling you to your feet.

“I’ll carry you to the Batmobile,” he stated, “You can’t grapple like this.”

You nodded, shame and guilt burning into you as he lifted you up in a fireman’s carry.

***

“Alfred!” Bruce’s voice boomed loudly in your ear as he carried you out the vehicle, echoing back at you in the Cave.

He rushed you to one side of the cave, where there always was a bed and a very complete first aid kit- that shouldn’t even be called first aid anymore. It was where Alfred would perform emergency medical interventions straight after patrol, and then only after that, the said patient would be moved to the infirmary upstairs in the manor for recuperation.

You were hanging upside down over Bruce’s shoulder, ass jutting out in the air. Honestly, the embarrassment would have been the most painful thing about the whole ordeal if you were used to getting shot like Dick or Bruce was.

From the countless times you saw them injured, you always thought getting shot was no big deal. They handled it well, and then even a week later, they would be back in uniform.

That was miscalculation on your side. It wasn’t that it didn’t hurt, they just got used to the pain.

Because the bullet shoved into your shoulder blade right now hurt like a mother fucker. You knew it didn’t even hit your lung, but you couldn’t breathe because of the pain. You felt lightheaded, and your current position was not helping.

Out of the corner of your eye, though, you saw Jason stand up from his box, rushing to you.

“What the fuck happened?” he demanded.

Bruce put you down gently on the bed, the change in position making you cry out and groan as you sat upright.

“What the hell happened, Bruce?!” Jason yelled.

For the first time ever since getting to know Bruce Wayne, you saw him stunned as he looked at Jason.

“Well?!” he pushed.

Bruce took off his cowl, and set it aside. “She got shot.”

“How?” Jason hissed, “Where?”

“Shoulder blade- I don’t think it’s fatal. You can calm down.”

“Calm- calm down?” Jason’s nose flared in anger. “This happened on your watch, Bruce! Need I remind you what happened the last time something went wrong with a Robin on your watch?!”

Bruce didn’t say anything to that. Instead, he clenched his jaw tight, eyes looking down.

“It- it was my fault,” you panted, “I took off my cape. I practically asked them to shoot at me. Was being stupid.”

“What’s the cape got to do with anything?”

“It- yours- yours wasn’t bulletproof?” you asked out of curiosity. Anything to distract you from the pain.

“No,” Jason grit.

“Oh my- what happened?” Alfred finally arrived, immediately opening the first aid kit that was the size of a goddamn cabin suitcase.

“BW to right scapula,” Bruce turned from Jason to assist Alfred, “.22 calibre.”

Alfred sighed in relief. “Very well. We are well stocked on Lidocaine, so this won’t hurt.”

“Okay,” you squeaked

Using a special pair of scissors, Alfred cut through the back of your uniform to expose the injured area.

“Why were you being stupid?” Jason walked over to stand in front of you.

“I just- we- we got into an argument,” you avoided eye contact and played with your thumbs.

“What about?”

“No- argh!” you felt a burn in your back. “A little warning next time, Alfred. It’s my first bullet wound, you know.”

“My apologies, Miss.”

Jason raised his eyebrows at you, waiting for an answer.

You locked eyes with Bruce for a moment, who was hovering behind Jason.

“Nothing. It was stupid. Something about my cape and how it was too cold,” you lied.

Jason stared deep into your eyes intensely.

He definitely was not convinced.

“I will be injecting the anesthesia now. It will hurt for a moment or so.”

“Okay, Alfred.”

“Take deep breath… Hold.”

“Hnng,” you whimpered as you felt another sharp pain.

Jason let out a heavy breath, and muttered, “Jesus.”

“We shall wait for a few minutes for the anesthesia to start its effects before I attempt to extract the bullet.”

“Sit next to me, Jay,” you smiled, patting the space next to you.

“I’m fine where I am,” he huffed, crossing his arms. Then, his eyes softened, “If it makes you feel better, I’ve survived worse. You’ll… Get through this.”

“Is that an attempt to comfort me?” you laughed.

“Maybe,” he frowned.

“Well, I’m all good. Anesthesia is kicking in. I don’t feel it much anymore,” you told him.

“Good,” he gave you a stiff nod, “You shouldn’t have to feel any sort of pain. No one should.”

His eyes fluttered away from yours as your heart sank.

Bruce pursed his lips in hesitation before he attempted to say anything. “Jason…”

“Only she gets to call me that,” his snapped at Bruce.

You felt a little bad, but at the same time you couldn’t help but a feel a little happy the way you were the special one.

“Okay, son. I’m sorry,” Bruce said softly, “For… For everything.”

“I don’t care about that anymore,” Jason choked.

“I should have been better,” Bruce continued, “God, I should have done more.”

“I said I don’t care anymore,” Jason grit, “But I swear, Bruce, I will murder you if you let another one of us slip through your fingers again.”

“I assure you, you wouldn’t have to. I would… myself...” Bruce sighed, “But duly noted. I’m sorry.”

This time, the apology was directed to you.

“No,” you shook your head, “It was my fault. I kept… I kept accidentally saying your name, and I was emotional… I’m just a newbie, Bruce. It’s not your fault. I acted rashly.”

“You did,” Bruce agreed, “Which is why I’m taking away your patrol privileges. Only twice a week now until I think you’re ready again for more responsibility.”

“Twice a week?” you groaned, “I mean I understand, but even when I was starting out it was three times!”

“Yes, you have been demoted,” Bruce smirked. He fucking smirked, “For calling me by name in the field three times, and sabotaging a mission. Now there are dozens of illegal and untraceable weapons in Gotham’s black market. Or do you not think this is an adequate disciplinary action?”

“It’s adequate,” you grumbled.

“No more taking off capes during patrol,” he added, “Even during storms.”

“Well, maybe you could make it lighter or waterproof then,” you retorted.

“I will see to it,” he nodded, “That is all. Let me know the damage, Alfred.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I used to get way worse,” Jason muttered when Bruce walked away.

“Ah, yes,” Alfred chimed in, getting started on extracting the bullet lodged in your back. “I remember many arguments. And broken china.”

“You broke things?” you chuckled at Jason.

“Yeah,” the corner of his lips twitched upwards, though it was tough to tell whether he was actually smiling, or it was because of the scar that twisted his lips upwards.

“Actually,” Alfred interrupted, “Master Bruce would also break things. When you’re gone, that is.”

“Did he?” Jason blinked in surprise.

“Oh, yes,” Alfred hummed, “You created much ruckus in the household, Master.”

You didn’t miss how Alfred too avoided his name.

“Bruce has always been nice to me,” you defended.

“Maybe because you never caused trouble,” Jason said, “Not the way I did.”

You now felt Alfred digging into your back. It was an odd sensation, but at least you didn’t feel pain.

“He still very much loves you despite it all,” Alfred said quietly.

Jason didn’t reply to that, and now an uncomfortable silence hung over the three of you.

“Hey, at least now we all got matching scars, huh?” you grinned, trying to break the tension. “I’m pretty sure each and every one of us has a gunshot wound. Or two. Or three. Or-”

“I have more than just gunshot wounds,” Jason stated.

“Yes, yes, torture and all that,” you waved your hand in dismissal, earning a small chuckle from Jason. “But really, though. It’s like a right of passage for us vigilantes, huh? It’s like I’m finally official now. Do you have one, Alfred?”

“More than one,” he informed you.

“Wokay, buddy, it’s not a competition,” you rolled your eyes, “Talk about a cut throat.”

“You’re really irritating,” Jason commented.

“But you love me anyway,” you grinned. “Do you love me, Alfred?”

“I suppose I have no choice but to say yes, Miss,” Alfred retorted.

“Aww, don’t be like that.”

“It’s finished,” Alfred announced. “Bullet has been extracted, and your wound sutured.”

“That was fast.”

“The bullet is in one piece,” he said, “Would you like me to make a necklace from it? That’s what Master Dick did with his first.”

“Hell yeah!” you looked at Jason, “What did you do with yours?”

“I dug it out and threw it back at my dad,” he monotoned.

“Wait… what?” your smile fell. You knew his dad was a criminal who went to prison, but you didn’t know anything about their relationship.

A rustle of plastic. Alfred kept himself busy.

“Just get some rest,” Jason sighed. He reached out to tuck your hair behind your ear. “Don’t strain yourself.”

His hand lingered there on your cheek, going downwards to tilt your head up, forcing you to meet his eyes.

“I don’t like the idea of you getting shot at,” he whispered.

“You and I both,” you snickered.

“I’m serious,” he frowned, “Be more careful. You’re too much of an idiot.”

“Okay, I will,” you smiled. It was nice to see that he cared. That he showed he cared.

“You get the bed all to yourself tonight. You’ll want the space,” he informed you, dropping his hand.

“I don’t mind if you-”

“Sleep facing down, keep a glass of water close,” he interrupted, walking away to his cube. “Goodnight.”

He closed his door.

You waited for a second, thinking of what Jason had said earlier.

“I take it his relationship with his dad was not good?” you asked Alfred.

“I’m afraid not.”

“Jesus,” you let out a breath, “He’s been through so much, hasn’t he? Guy can’t catch a break.”

“Indeed,” Alfred agreed. “It would be nice for him to be at peace. Perhaps, for once in his life.”

***

“There’s a stack of pancakes, amazingly greasy bacon, berries, cream, butter, maple syrup, waffles- and you’re eating cereal?” you judged.

“Why, my naive sister, don’t you know?” Dick replied, “I need to stick with my reputation, for I am the known cereal killer.”

“That joke has lost its charm after the first thousand times it’s been said, tweeted, and shared online,” you brandished your fork at him.

Dick was over at the manor that Saturday morning, two days after your injury. He had arrived the night before to visit and congratulate you on your first gunshot wound. As expected, he had tried to hug you. But Jason was there, and when Dick rushed towards you, he had stuck out his leg and tripped him over.

“She’s still in pain, you idiot,” Jason had snorted before descending back downstairs to hide away in his box.

Dick on the other hand, had looked up at you from the floor- despite how he obviously should have dodged or maneuvered- with tears in his eyes. “That was the longest thing he had ever said to me.”

Rolling your eyes, you had helped Dick back up.

“I started it!” Dick shouted at you, “No one believes me! I updated my facebook status all those years ago, some reporter reported it, and then suddenly everyone was tweeting it as if they made it up themselves.”

“I’m sorry, Dick, but that’s just not true,” you shook your head. Dick had been trying to convince you he was the trend setter for a lot of things in the past.

“I’m so disappointed in your lack of faith in me. I swear, man, I-”

Dick broke off and looked behind you.

Turning around, you saw Jason standing there with a hand in his hair. “Room for one more?”

“Of course,” Bruce said first, “I’ll have Alfred get you-”

“No, I’m on it,” Dick scrambled to his feet and dashed to the kitchen.

Jason pulled up a chair next to you. His movements were stiff. He was obviously nervous to be joining everyone for breakfast.

“Here,” Dick passed a plate and utensils to him.

“Thanks,” Jason muttered.

“No problem,” he grinned wide, like a kid getting his head pat after winning a trophy.

Jason stacked pancakes and bacon and everything else on his plate.

“What?” he grunted at you.

“Yo- you- you planning to finish all that?” you gaped.

“This?” he looked at his plate, “Yes. And then I’m gonna go for seconds.”

“Okay,” you laughed disbelievingly.

You, Dick, and Bruce made very brief eye contact with each other, and then smiled into your respective plates and continued to eat.

“Uh, Bruce?” Jason spoke up.

“Yes?”

“Can I… Can I move back into my old room?” he asked.

Bruce blinked once. “Yes. Of course. When would you like to move in?”

“As soon as we finish here, I can get my stuff from downstairs,” he informed Bruce.

“The room hasn’t been… cleaned,” Bruce said, “I can ask Alfred to prepare it for you. I left it… the way you left it.”

You only went into Jason’s old room once, out of curiosity. It was the first month you were there. After Alfred found out, he had strongly advised you to keep out because Bruce wanted to preserve it the way Jason had left it, all those years ago.

Out of respect, you stayed out of Jason’s old room and never went back in again after that.

“Then it’s fine,” Jason insisted, “I’ll change the sheets myself.”

“It’s probably dusty,” Bruce pointed out.

“I’ve had worse,” Jason shrugged.

“Indeed,” the older man nodded, “Alright. Let me know if you need anything.”

Silence again. But after ten minutes, Bruce asked, “Does this mean you will be sleeping in your own room instead of…”

Bruce glanced at you.

That was surprising, coming from Bruce. He usually would never ask about things that weren't his business. The fact that he did must have meant that he was either really curious, or he strongly opposed it.

“Bruce,” you hushed.

“Why?” Jason smirked now, though there was no humor in his eyes, his mouth twisting upwards into a distorted smile. “You worried about your little princess sleeping with the mentally fucked up son?”

“No,” Bruce stated, “I just realised that I never got around to having the talk with either of you. I was wondering if I should.”

“Bruce!” you gasped, cheeks heating up. “Come on!”

“You don’t have to worry about anything,” Jason grit, stabbing his pancake with his fork almost too violently, “Joker fucked me up in more ways than one.”

Silence. Longer than it should have been.

“What do you mean by that?”

Dick was the one to break it, his soft warm voice attempting to coax and comfort.

You glanced at Bruce. On the surface, it seemed that he was showing no reaction, but you saw the way he gripped his knife, his knuckles white.

“It doesn’t matter,” Jason scowled.

Bruce rose from his chair, more robotic than usual. “Just… tell me if you need anything. I’ll be at the computers.”

He left with an odd expression on his face.

***

“Tired of walking up the stairs to come see me?” you teased, leaning against the door to Jason’s room.

He was wiping his bedside table with a piece of wet cloth when he glared at you.

“I came in here once,” you told him, looking at the books aligned neatly on the shelves, the photos he had arranged on his desk. His laptop opened but not switched on, with a stack of papers next to it weighed down by Bruce’s fountain pen he probably stole. “Then never again when I found out that Bruce was kind of anal about people coming in here.”

You remembered that the bed was made, and that the sheets were blue. Now they were maroon.

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? Oh, forgive Bruce. He was suffering the whole time, too,” he mocked.

“Dickhead,” you retorted, “No. I just noticed that you must have had your laptop on the last time I was in here. I was wondering what you were doing when Alfred came in and told me to get out.”

“Hmm,” he frowned, looking towards his desk, “I don’t remember what I was doing on it. Maybe my essay?”

A smile crept on your lips. You walked over to the desk. “Switch it on,” you grinned.

He narrowed his eyes and came over. It took a minute for the laptop to show the homescreen. The icon was a picture of him from when you assumed to be two years ago , with Dick next to him. Both grinning at the camera.

His smile was different back then. So were his eyes.

“Huh,” you observed, “It was on sleep this whole time? Charging? The battery’s gotta be destroyed by now.”

Jason quickly typed in his password, and then logged in.

The screen showed exactly what Jason had been up to on his laptop two years ago. He slammed it shut, but not before you got a glimpse of the screen.

Porn. Jason was watching porn.

A kinky video too, now that you were thinking about it.

You laughed out loud. His eyes were wide in horror, and- holy shit. He was blushing! His ears went red, and a tint of pink appeared on his cheeks.

“Shut up,” he scowled, looking away embarrassed.

That made you double up and laugh even louder.

“I was sixteen, come on,” he groaned, “Every sixteen year old was horny.”

“No- it’s - it’s not that,” you gasped for air, tears in your eyes, “All this while- all this while, I’ve been so fucking curious. And now I know- it was- it was on PornHub. Jason! Your laptop was on PornHub for two whole years!”

You continued your fit of giggles, before- “Ah! Ow, ow,” you suddenly winced. The injury on your back was pulsating pain while you laughed hard.

“Are you okay?” Jason rushed to your side, panic in his eyes. “What’s wrong? Tell me!”

“I’m fine, Jesus, calm down,” you straightened up and took deep breaths, “It hurt when I laughed, that’s all.”

“You shouldn’t strain yourself,” he worried.

“I’m okay, Jason,” you rolled your eyes, “It’s no big deal.”

His eyes searched your face for any hints of pain, and then he sighed. “I… Came back up here so I can be closer to you… Just- just in case.”

“Just in case of what?” you frowned.

“If anything happened to you,” he muttered, looking away again.

“What’s going to happen to me up here?” you asked, “It’s perfectly safe.”

“I don’t know… What if you.. Fal in the shower or something,” he huffed, crossing his arms.

“Fall in the- Jason, I’m not a grandma!” you chuckled, “I’m Robin. Trained vigilante. I can handle myself in my own home.”

“I was a trained vigilante too, and look where that got me,” he grit.

You didn’t know how to answer that.

“Look,” he sighed, “I just. You got shot. If you had moved a couple of inches to the right, the bullet would have hit your spine. I kept on thinking about that, that’s all.”

“I get it,” you nodded. He was thinking about you dying.

You couldn’t blame him. Death and pain seemed to follow him everywhere. It was probably the only thing on his mind.

“But you don’t have to worry, okay?” you added, “I’ll be careful. Promise. Plus, now that Bruce is limiting my patrols, I get to spend more time with you at night! And I won’t be so tired in the morning. What do you say, you wanna go out later? Maybe somewhere aside from the park?”

“I, uh, I’m actually following Alfred to the grocery store later,” he said, “He says I should pick out ingredients since I eat the most in the house. It’d be easier for him to plan my meals if I were there for him to ask as well.”

“Oh!” your eyes widen in surprise. “That’s great, then.”

You grinned widely. Now that he’s going out with Alfred, it was also one step closer to him going out alone.

“Yeah,I guess,” he shrugged, “I’m just gonna clear out a few more shit from here.”

“You mean delete your browsing history?” you teased.

“What for?” he snickered, “Not like you’re coming anywhere close to my computer.”

“And even if I did, I wouldn’t judge. Much,” you winked. “I need to change my bandages. See ya.”

You found yourself worrying less and less about Jason lately, and he found himself worrying about you more and more.

Despite being more independent now, he had started to get clingy.

At first, you would have thought that Jason Todd and ‘clingy’ were two things that would never coexist together. On the contrary, ever since your injury, he wouldn’t leave your side unless it was to go out with Alfred.

You stayed home for the next two weeks for recuperation, and it was basically two weeks of Jason. You woke up, he was there next to you. You ate, he was there finishing your food. You watched TV, he was there fighting for the remote control.

But when you finally did heal and got to go out for patrol- that was the worst.

“He has been anxious the whole night,” Alfred had whispered to you once you came back. Jason had approached you with a serious look on his face, examined you up and down, nodded, and then went back upstairs.

“Hurry up, I’m sleepy,” he had grumbled, leaving you in shock.

You would have been annoyed if it wasn’t for the fact that it was Jason and he showed that he cared enough about you to be worried. So you were actually quite pleased.

So with all the clinginess and worries and occasional outings with either you or Alfred, you weren’t ready for when he suddenly disappeared while you were sending out some emails to the Gotham University staff.

“Uh, have you seen Jason?” you walked up to Bruce who was down at the Cave computers.

“No,” he frowned, “He doesn’t come down here much after he moved upstairs unless he’s waiting for you. Has Alfred not seen him?”

“I haven’t asked, but he wasn’t in his room, or mine, or the gym, or the kitchen either,” you bit your lip anxiously, “I texted him but he hasn’t replied. I’ll go find Alfred and ask.”

“Let me know.”

You found Alfred in the study, taking and dusting books to give to Jason.

“I’m afraid not, my dear,” he answered your question, “The last time I saw him was during breakfast. I have been up here since.”

“Shit, I can’t find him,” you started to panic.

“I’m sure he is fine,” Alfred tried to reassure you, “He’s been much better lately. He knows how to take care of himself.”

“I’ll call him or something,” you worried, going down to wait in the living room.

He never picked up, so you waited there anxiously for the next two hours, barely paying attention to whatever documentary that was playing.

Then at around five, he came waltzing in from the front door, fucking whistling a low tune.

“Jason!” you stood up.

“Hey,” he greeted you casually. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s- what’s wrong?” you repeated, “You just disappeared. For hours. You didn’t answer my texts or calls. Where were you?”

“Out,” he told you.

“O-out?” you asked, “Like, alone?”

“Yeah?” he frowned, “What’s the big deal?”

“Nothing, I just- I was just wondering where you were,” you breathed and sat back down, “Where did you go?”

“Nowhere interesting,” he shrugged, taking a seat next to you on the sofa, “The park at first. Then the grocery store. Then I parked somewhere and walked around Central Gotham.”

“You drove?” your eyes widen.

“Yeah, your car,” he grinned, “Didn’t think you’d mind.”

“I don’t,” you smiled, “How was it? Your day out?”

“Fine,” he simply said, “No big deal.”

He said that and tried to look modest, but you could see from his expression that he was pretty proud of himself. You had learned how to read his emotions better, and that was definitely a genuine, non-sarcastic, non-mocking smile he had on.

“No big deal, huh?” you chuckled.

“Yeah,” he smirked at you. “Why? Were you worried?”

“No way,” you rolled your eyes, “Why would I be?”

He narrowed his eyes and took out his phone. “Nineteen missed calls. Six text messages. ‘Jason, where are you?’ ‘Jason, I’m serious.’ ‘Why aren’t you picking up your phone? Are you in trouble?’ ‘Please call me back, I’m worried.’ ‘Don’t be an asshole and pick up you massive prick.’ And last but not least- I think this one is the best, by the way. Just ‘Dickhead.’”

“Well, why didn’t you pick up? Or text me back?” you demanded.

“Had it on silent. Didn’t want any distractions,” he pocketed his phone, “Wasn’t worried, huh?”

“Shut up,” you huffed, “I thought you… Left or something.”

“Left?” he frowned.

“Yeah, I thought you packed your bags and left us,” you looked away.

“Why would I do that?” he asked.

You simply shrugged.

“I’m not going to leave you,” you heard him softly say, “Not anytime soon, anyway.”

“Good,” you huffed, “Because I’d be super pissed off.”

“And I wouldn’t want to get on your bad side, huh?” he nudged you lightly, “Or I’d lose sponge bath privileges.”

“God, that was one time, and it was because you stank!” you groaned, “Never again.”

“Never?”

“Ever.”

You looked into his eyes then, twinkling playfully at you.

“What if I got sick?” he smirked, “Or shot? And I couldn’t get to the shower? And I started to stink so bad you wouldn’t want to stay next to me?”

“Then Alfred can give you your sponge bath,” you rolled your eyes.

“But what if I want it to be you?” he breathed, his voice a mere whisper.

“Then,” you leaned in closer, “I’d make you beg for it.”

He chuckled and left it at that.

***

The soft sheets wrapped around your almost bare legs, gently caressing your smooth skin. Your eyes had adjusted to the darkness already, since you’ve been laying in bed for about half an hour, staring at the ceiling.

“Has Gotham always been so bright?” Jason grumbled from next to you.

“What do you mean?”

“The city. It was so bright,” he complained.

“No, Gotham is gloomy, Jason. It’s a whole Gotham thing. Gloomy, rainy, cloudy, shithole,” you went on, “Streets are sticky for some reason. And then there’s always that weird smell going on. You ever notice that smell?”

“Seemed bright to me,” he ignored your question.

“That’s,” you turned on your side to face him. You could see the silhouette of his side profile looking upwards. The bump at his crooked nose bridge, the dip of his deep set eyes, even the length of his thick eyelashes. “Because you have been cooped up in the house for too long.”

“I’ve been out with you,” he mumbled, turning to face you as well. “To the park. The grocery store. It’s just the city. Seemed brighter.”

“Maybe because you’re looking at it from a new point of view?” you guessed, “Changed person and all, yada yada.”

“Maybe,” he snorted, “Doubt it. But whatever. It’s not important.”

From the new position, you were now closer to him. You could feel the slight brushes of his skin against yours whenever he took a breath.

“You don’t always have to dismiss something,” you told him softly, “Just because you can’t find the answer, doesn’t mean it’s not important.”

“Who the hell cares if Gotham is brighter or not?” he argued, “It doesn’t affect anyone. Not even me.”

“The questions you ask say a lot about the type of person you are,” you reasoned.

“And?” he breathed, “What type of person am I?”

You bit your lip when you saw his eyes flutter to your lips for just a second. “Perceptive. Introspective. Kind of an asshole, but that’s okay.”

He let out a breathy laugh that fanned warm breath across your face. Taking a deep breath, you sighed as you looked back at him, for no reason at all. You looked down at his lips for just a second and noticed it was ever so slightly parted. Relaxed.

“If you kiss me, I’ll bite your tongue off,” he stated.

You blinked. And then burst into a fit of giggles. “What makes you think I was going to kiss you?”

“You had that look in your eye,” he smirked, “The one that says that you wanted to kiss me. Don’t. I’m not joking. I’ll bite your tongue off.”

“You’re such a scary man, Jason,” you smiled at him endearingly.

“Really? I thought I had charm.”

“Charming people don’t say that they’re going to bite someone’s tongue off,” you laughed, “Dick would never do that.”

“Dick,” he snorted, “What does he know?”

“He knows not to say something like that to someone,” you grinned.

“But you kind of like it when I threaten you,” he pointed out.

“What? Since when?”

“Sweetheart, I technically choked you,” he reminded you, “I keep on saying that I’ll kill you over the smallest things. It’s either you’re dumb or kinky. I think I know which you’d rather be.”

“I’m not dumb, but the kinky one here is definitely you,” you insisted, “I saw the title of that video, Jason. Girl gets-”

“Stop,” he interjected you, “Don’t even. Ever.”

“My point exactly,” you grinned proudly at your win. “You’re the one with the kinky porn videos. You’re the one with the boner almost every night.”

“Can you blame me,” he groaned, “I’m a sexually frustrated eighteen year old who can’t bring himself to come. Give me a break.”

“You’re dragging me down with you,” you whined, “You think I’m not hormonal, too? I’m at the peak of my hormonal mess and my monthly cycles don’t help either.”

He let out a long sigh. “You can kick me out any time you want, you know. I won’t threaten you. Much.”

“I don’t mind you sleeping here,” you told him honestly, “I mean, it’s got its pros and cons. Cons like getting me all hot and bothered is the same category as you taking up all the space and stealing the covers.”

“And the pros?”

“You get to sleep peacefully,” you shrugged.

“But there’s nothing in it for you.”

I get to sleep next to you. I get to feel your arms around me.

You didn’t say that out loud. You were open with him, but not that open.

Instead, you turned around to face your back towards him. “I like cuddles. I used to cuddle with Dick when I was the one who had nightmares. So just shut up and cuddle me.”

The bed shifted, and you heard rustling, then Jason’s arm snaked around your waist and pulled you closer, flushed against his front.

“Jesus- Jason!” you whined.

“I told you, I can’t help it!” he defended himself.

You squirmed against him, unintentionally grinding your ass against his crotch, boner poking directly into your flesh.

“Hnng. Fuck. Stop moving so much, you’re making it worse.”

The sound he made and the ‘fuck’ he dropped sent shooting heat directly to your core.

Fucking hormones.

“You fucking stop sounding like that,” you shot back at him.

“What? Sounding like what?”

“All moany and breathy and- and swearing and shit.”

“What? Breathy?” he breathed.

“Yes, like you ran a fucking mile,” you said. “You’re panting like crazy, Jason.”

“So are you.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am- fuck you,” you groaned, pushing back against him in reflex.

His grip on your waist tightened, but he chuckled. “If only.”

“Shut up,” you panted. “Ugh. This is literally peak horny teen phase.”

“Dry humping? Definitely. Just- just stop for a sec, Jesus.”

Your heavy breaths filled the dark and silent room. But only for a few seconds.

“Okay- I’m sorry- I can’t,” you sat up.

“Where are you going?”

“To the bathroom to… Relieve myself,” you winced at how bad that sounded.

“Like, to pee? Or..?”

“To fucking come, Jesus Christ,” you pressed the top of your nose bridge. “You may be able to hold it in, but I can’t.”

“Stay,” he instructed, catching your wrist.

“I said I can’t hold it in, you piece o-”

“Then don’t. Make yourself come. But do it here.”

You opened your mouth to argue, then closed it back, looking at him perplexed. “Like… The other day?”

He considered it for a second. “No. Not like the other day.”

“Then what?”

Propping himself up on his elbows, he gave you a mischievous grin. “I’ll drag the chair to face the bed and watch you.”

You immediately felt yourself blush, though the heat also went to your belly. “W-what? No way. That’s too embarrassing.”

“Nothing I haven’t seen,” he shrugged.

“You haven’t seen my… That,” you winced.

“That?” he smirked.

“Yes, that,” you repeated, “You haven’t seen it, and it’s embarrassing if you watched.”

“Sure, I haven’t seen yours,” he went on, “But a pussy is still a pussy, sweetheart. Not that I wouldn’t think yours is special- I’m sure it is.”

You pursed your lips, thoughts running quickly through your mind. On one hand, it was the first time you would bare yourself to someone else and you were nervous and shy about it. On the other hand, the thought of Jason watching you get yourself off was hot as fuck.

“Fine,” you conceded, horniness taking over your shyness, “But on one condition.”

“And what’s that?” he whispered, sitting up and leaning in closer to you.

“You gotta take out your dick and show it to me too,” you grinned.

“That,” he got off the bed and walked across the room to pull a chair from your desk, “I can do.”

He switched on the lamp on your desk, illuminating the room dimly with warm light and positioned the chair to face the foot of your bed and sat down, grinning so unbelievably wide for his standards that you were sure his cheeks would start to hurt soon.

Without a moment’s hesitation, he pulled down his sweatpants to his knees, revealing his cock with a small slap on his pubic bone- erect, thick, long, hard, and judging from the way the light from the little light of the desk lamp reflected on it, wet at the tip with precum.

Your jaw dropped at the sight of him smirking away, leaning comfortably back into your chair, legs now slightly parted. Shirtless Jason was something you had trouble getting used to, your imagination running wild whenever you saw him in that state.

But your view of him right now? You made sure to burn it into your mind because that would be your permanent spank bank material.

How you wished you could ask if you could take a picture.

“I know I’m a sight, sweetheart,” he chuckled, “But you’re the one who said that you couldn’t hold it in anymore.”

He was right. Since Jason took off his pants, you were already dizzy with heat that spread from your core.

“Jesus, Jason,” you breathed, hand cupping your own cunt and grinding it to relieve some pressure. “You’re insanely- just- Jesus.

He smiled at you softly, his hands both on each respective arm rest, not touching himself at all. “You don’t have to take off anything if you don’t want to. You can just do it under the sheets if you want.”

“Hell no, you changed my mind,” you shook your head, proceeding to take off your sleeping shorts, “Now I’m just horny as fuck, I don’t care anymore.”

You threw your shorts to the floor and leaned back onto some propped pillows. Spreading your legs slowly, you welcomed the cold air that brushed softly against your folds.

“Holy shit,” you heard him gasp.

And then out of nowhere, you started to get nervous again. Your hands went between your legs and hid your pussy from his view.

Jason must have noticed your change in body language, because he sat up straight and tried to reassure you again. “I know it’s your first time showing yourself to someone- hell, it’s mine too. But you don’t have to worry. You’ve already seen me at my worst. I have way more reason to be embarrassed than you do. And right now you’re showing your best to me. You’re so fucking beautiful.”

Your heart fluttered at his words, and what do you know? You felt yourself easing back into the mood again.

“O-okay,” you nodded, and then slowly spread your legs wider, removing your hands from obstructing his view.

You noticed him lean forward, his heavy breaths audible to you in the silence of the room. With much more confidence than before, you started to slowly circle your clit, breathing out a small moan.

“Fuck,” you heard him breathe.

You were wet, wetter than you thought you would be, and Jason cursing while watching you touch yourself did wonders to your body.

Increasing the pace to one you were most used to, you let out another moan, louder than before.

“Shit, sweetheart,” he gasped, “I can see how wet you are from here.”

“It’s your fault,” you whined, “You made me like this.”

“Well, you made me like this,” he groaned, gesturing to his raging erection. It was twitching against his lower stomach, leaving a trail of wetness on his skin as it oozed precum.

“Jason,” you purred, slipping a finger inside of you while you rubbed on your clit.

“Fucking- hnng-”

Glancing back at him, you saw the way he gripped the arm rest, knuckles white, muscles taut. He looked like he was being tortured.

You let out a laugh.

“What?” he angrily bit at you.

“You look like you’re in pain,” you giggled, fingers still working at your cunt.

“I am,” he grit, “My cock wants to be touched so bad, it hurts. You make my cock hurt, sweetheart.”

“Oh,” your eyes fluttered close at the sudden spark. You really did like it when he talked dirty to you.

“I swear I’ve never been so hard in my life,” he groaned, “You make me so hard, baby.”

Baby.

He had never called you that before, but you didn’t want it to be the first and last time.

It wasn’t like his ‘sweetheart’, where he would call you that even in front of Alfred or Dick or Bruce. It wasn’t an innocent nickname or term of endearment that he threw around just for the sake of it.

It was the way it just naturally came to him as the word rolled off his tongue, the way his voice husky and laced with lust made it sound dirty, a secret that just both of you shared.

It was the way he breathed it out, the way he almost stuttered when he pronounced the consonants, the way it was a mix of a small whine and a groan.

It was enough to drive you to the edge of your climax.

“Jason,” you let out a breathy whisper so soft you didn’t know if he heard it.

“You want to come don’t you, baby?” he coaxed you, “I’m not going to come, so you better come for me in my place, sweetheart.”

“Jason.”

“Yeah, that’s it. Come for me hard. Come on, baby. Come for me.”

The finger that you had fucking your own cunt was dripping wet as you fucked yourself harder, as you rubbed yourself faster, as you watched the way Jason bit his lip hard enough to draw blood while he watched you with hooded eyes, cock twitching and begging for attention that he wouldn’t give.

His eyes locked with your own.

“Come for me, baby.”

And you did. Your breaths stuttering, your mouth opened in a silent scream, your toes curling at the white hot sensations that spread from them to the rest of your body as your pussy clenched and fluttered over your single finger.

“Holy fuck-”

“Fuck,” you panted, a wave of fatigue crashed over you as you came down from your high.

You looked over at Jason, and to your surprise, he had his head in his hands, his elbows on his knee. Silent, but obviously filled with tension.

“Jason, are you okay?” you voiced your concern.

“Yeah- just- give me a minute,” he answered with a strained voice.

Watching Jason with worry, you saw the way his hands were also fisting and tugging slightly at his hair.

“Jason-”

He got up and pulled up his pants, and then walked to the door.

“Where are you going?”

“To get a glass of ice cold water to stick my dick in,” he snapped, “Fucking hell, sweetheart. You’re going to fucking kill me.”

***

There were a number of scenarios that you felt were so ridiculous, you didn't think it would actually happen in real life- until it did.

One of them was the fact that you got adopted by billionaire Bruce Wayne, whom you later found out was the Batman himself- accurately confirming the online conspiracy theories you had laughed at on Reddit at four in the morning- and then you becoming Robin. It was so utterly ridiculous, that even then you were questioning whether or not it was all a dream and you were going to wake up in your bed that had springs poking into your back and sheets that were definitely infested with dust mites.

Another scenario was the current president becoming president in the first place- which was a shock to everyone else as much as it was to you at the time.

Which brought you to the current scenario you never thought would happen. In fact, it was so random that the thought itself never even crossed your mind.

Jason Todd sitting across the dining table from you with a murderous glare in his eyes, holding a plate of red velvet cake, wearing a bright pink glittery party hat that only slightly ruffled his gelled hair, a sequined pink tank top that oddly suited his physique and bright pink eyeshadow that brought out the blue in his eyes. His stare was directed to both you, and Alex who was sitting next to you.

How did you get there?

It wasn’t a party party, but more like you inviting your three friends over to the Manor in celebration of your birthday. Natalie had chosen a theme which she demanded everyone follow.

You were just finished setting the table with Dick when you heard a voice from behind you.

“Am I invited?”

Turning around, you saw Jason with his arms crossed and an eyebrow cocked up.

“Well, yes,” you blinked, “Of course. I just didn’t think you’d want to be downstairs with strangers around. I’m sorry, I should have asked anyway. I didn’t want to put you on the spot.”

“It’s fine,” he rolled his eyes, “How many people are coming anyway?”

“Just my three friends.”

“I can handle three people.”

“But can you handle pink?” Dick interrupted, grinning mischievously.

“What?”

“We have a theme, Jason,” you laughed, “You have to wear pink.”

Dick himself was sporting a tight baby pink t-shirt that had the words MY ASS IS TIGHTER THAN THIS SHIRT in black, bold, capital letters. He paired it with fuschia pink shorts that did in fact make his ass look tighter than the t-shirt.

“I don’t have anything pink,” he frowned.

You looked at Dick just as Dick looked at you.

“Fuck, I know that look,” Jason started to shake his his head, “No. No way.”

“I was in between outfits, so I brought them both,” Dick started to chat excitedly, “Let me go and grab it.”

“I don’t want to wear anything you think is nice, Grayson!” Jason yelled at him when he rushed to his room.

“Oh, his style isn’t that bad,” you defended Dick.

“Sweetheart, you weren’t around to see that God awful Nightwing suit with the frills,” Jason shot back at you.

“Hey, I was just discovering myself then,” Dick came back, “Here.”

He threw something at Jason.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No way in hell.”

“Jason, you have to!” you whined and pouted at him, “Please? It’s my birthday.”

“Fucking- fine!”

And that was how you convinced Jason to put on Dick’s pink sequined tank top. The party hat and eyeshadow came next. You learned something pivotal that night.

Jason couldn’t resist it when you pouted and batted your eyelashes at him.

The doorbell rang, saving you from the argument Dick and Jason were having.

“I think the pink eyeshadow brings out the blue in your eyes-”

“Your eyes are blue, too, dumbfuck!” Jason was yelling, “Why aren’t you wearing any?”

“I’m already too pink! You’re wearing black pants- you can handle a little more.”

“I swear to God, I’m gonna-”

“We need to take a picture-”

“I will fucking murder-”

“Hey guys!” you opened the door to reveal your three pink and sparkly friends.

“Babe, you look so amazing!” Natalie squealed, “See, I knew pink was your color!”

“Pink is everyone’s color, Nat,” Sarah interjected, “But I agree, you do look good in that.”

“You guys didn’t compliment me that much when you saw me,” Alex grumbled, nudging you aside to enter without waiting for an invitation.

“Because she slays, and you don’t, Alex!” Natalie followed suit.

“I worked hard on this outfit!” Alex argued back.

You closed the door behind Sarah as your friends made their way into your home towards the living room. They have been there countless times, already familiar with your family.

“Hello there, Dick,” you heard Natalie purr.

Sarah, Alex and you rolled your eyes.

“Nice to see you again, kid,” Dick chuckled.

“Oh come on, Dick!” Natalie whined, “Stop calling me that. I’m not a-”

“Good evening Mr. Wayne,” Alex cleared his throat at Bruce’s arrival, going in for a handshake.

“It’s Bruce, lad,” Bruce smiled warmly.

You didn’t have any inappropriate thoughts for your adoptive father, but he looked good in pink.

“Thanks for having us, Bruce,” Sarah shook his hand as well.

“Yes, Bruce, thank you for- oh, hello there.”

Jason had just walked in from the kitchen, pouting and blushing over how he looked, but was caught unaware at Natalie’s greeting.

“And who are you?” she grinned, throwing a knowing look at you.

“Ah, this is my cousin’s son,” Bruce said, “He’s been staying with us for a while.”

“Jason,” Jason fucking smiled charmingly at Natalie.

Expecting the worst, you were impressed by how relaxed and at ease he looked. Shaking your head to yourself, you thought about how truly skilled and trained Jason was to be able to blend in when he tried.

“Oh,” Alex gave a sound of recognition, “So you’re Jason.”

You were also expecting Jason to throw punches the moment his name left Alex’s lips, but he only narrowed his eyes at Alex. “You.”

“Am I missing something?” Sarah asked.

Alex was grinning, and you recognized that grin. It was the grin he made whenever he was up to no good.

Oh, god.

And surely enough, he threw his arms around your shoulders and brought you closer to his side.

“You’re the one I sent that selfie to,” Alex chuckled, “You should thank me. She would never have sent you a picture of herself half naked otherwise.”

“I don’t need a picture of her half naked when I’ve seen everything in real life.”

In the distance, you heard Dick spat out a drink you didn’t realise he had.

“Okay, I think dinner is ready,” you quickly interjected, prying yourself from Alex’s grip, paying close attention to the way Jason clenched his jaw.

You settled to sit down at the dining table, Sarah taking a seat next to you, Natalie taking a seat next to Dick. The other seat beside you was empty- until Alex rushed to sit down, beating Jason by a beat, who ended up sitting across from you in between Natalie and Bruce.

“What are you doing?” you hissed at Alex.

“You’ll thank me later,” he whispered back with a wink, leaning in a little closer than he usually did.

Sarah had gotten into a conversation with Bruce regarding New York, Natalie was flirting with Dick who seemed to enjoy the attention, which left you, Jason and Alex.

“So, Jason,” Alex spoke up.

Again, you winced internally when he said Jason’s name, but Jason merely looked up from his food and raised an eyebrow. Was this it? Did he not care for it anymore?

“How old are you?”

“Nineteen.”

“Oh,” Alex blinked, “I thought you were older.”

“The scars make me look older,” Jason’s mouth twisted into a grin, “Want to know how I got ‘em?”

“Jason,” you warned.

“I don’t want to pry,” Alex said.

“I was in a gang,” Jason smirked, “I got caught by a rival gang one time, and they shoved a knife in my mouth. That’s how I got this one.”

He pointed to the scar on his lips that twisted his smirk upwards even more. You frowned to yourself, asking the silent question. Was that what Joker did to him?

“How about the one on your nose?” Alex asked excitedly.

“Alex!” you smacked his arm.

“It’s fine,” Jason shrugged, “Someone hit me with a crowbar, broke my nose too.”

“The one near your eye?”

“Slammed my face against a wall.”

“Stop it,” you whispered.

“Cheek?”

“Huh, I don’t remember. I have so many. I think it was-”

“Stop it,” you said louder, glaring at Jason.

You didn’t want to hear how he got his injuries, you didn’t like the way he took it so easy.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” Jason’s eyes turned soft, “Didn’t mean to upset you.”

You felt Alex’s stare on you, probably trying to read your emotions. He was always good at that.

“Anyway,” Alex changed the subject, “You got a girlfriend?”

You groaned internally. You didn’t know why Alex thought you would thank him later.

“No.”

“Badass guy like you, I’m sure you have a few lining up,” he coaxed.

“Hmm. Maybe just the one,” Jason smirked, looking at you.

“Oh, God,” you groaned out loud this time, feeling your ears burn with embarrassment.

“What, her?” Alex scoffed, “Nah. She doesn’t usually go for guys like you.”

“Shut the fuck up, Alex.”

“Then what kind of guy does she usually go for?” Jason grit, clenching his fists around his knife a little bit too tight.

Alex snaked his arm around your waist and looked at Jason straight in the eyes before answering, “Guys like me. We used to date.”

You were going to fucking murder your best friend- if Jason didn’t murder him first.

Ever since finding Jason in that cell, you had seen many sides to him. The white hot rage that borderline insanity in his eyes for the first few weeks, the empty glassy look he had whenever he stared into space, the panic when you brought him out the first time, the lust he showed only a few nights ago, the laugh and comfort and ease that was slowly brought out which he showed not only with you anymore, but with Alfred and Dick too.

So this was the first time you got to see another expression on him.

Calm, cold and focused anger. A look that sent shivers down your spine, much scarier than when he lashed out at you and choked you a year ago when he was still unstable.

Shit.

You looked over at Alex, thinking that he would start cowering as well and finally put an end to whatever he was planning.

But Alex, the stupid dumbfuck, was still smirking at Jason with a challenging look on his face.

You were going to say something to correct him, but Alfred brought out the cake.

And that’s how you found yourself in that unbelievably dumb scenario.

The rest of the night, Jason was relatively quiet, only answering questions coming from anyone except Alex. Not like Alex was trying to talk to Jason anymore. No, he opted for a more physical approach that even raised eyebrows from Sarah and Natalie.

He started touching you, squeezing next to you on the sofa, leaning in closely to your ear to whisper unintelligible words.

And whenever you pushed him away and tried to scold him, he simply answered with a “You’ll thank me later.” or “Trust me.”

Finally the night came to an end, and with lots of tears from you, Sarah and Natalie- as it was going to be the last time you saw each other for a while. It wasn’t really a separation issue, it was just symbolic.

The four of you had been friends since elementary, and now you were finally going your own way.

You felt Jason and Dick watch your teary goodbyes from afar.

It was Alex’s turn to say his goodbye, but instead of opening his mouth, he just went in for a bone crushing hug. The two of you stayed that way for a minute, and then Alex released you.

“You’ll thank me later,” he said again, and then leaned in unexpectedly to give you a light kiss right at the corner of your mouth.

In the background, you heard Dick chuckle.

You felt yourself flush. He stepped back, winked at you, and then left.

***

“I had a lot of fun tonight,” you smiled at your reflection while combing your hair at the dresser. Jason was sitting on your bed behind you- cleaned and changed. “I’m going to miss them a lot.”

“Yeah.”

You frowned. Jason had been grouchy all night.

At first you thought it was the choice of outfit for him, but he seemed to not mind it in the end. And then you reckoned it was the fact that he had to be around strangers the whole night, but even now he was sour with just the both of you in your room.

Alex must have gotten to him real bad. You were definitely going to give him a piece of your mind later.

You set down your comb and walked to stand in front of him. “You okay there, buddy?”

His frown was deep when he looked up at you, and his lips were in a pout. “No.”

“What’s wrong?” you coaxed.

Suddenly, he stood up, towering above you. “You told me that there was nothing going on between you and Alex.”

“There isn’t,” you reassured, “He was just messing with you. He likes to do that when... “

“When?”

“When he thinks I like someone,” you carefully said, “He tries to make them jealous. It’s not the first time he’s done this.”

“The two of you used to go out?”

“In middle school, Jason!” you sighed exasperatedly, “For like two months before we realised we were better off as friends. He still brings it up to mess with people.”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “I’m still frustrated.”

“Why?”

“Because it worked,” he stated. “Because I get jealous whenever he touched you. Because I wanted to murder him when he kissed you.”

“It wasn’t even on the mouth,” you rolled your eyes, “It was just for show.”

“Well, it fucking worked, didn’t it,” he growled, his hands flying to your hips. “That smug little bastard. Am I really not the type of guy you’d go for?”

“I haven’t met anyone like you, Jason,” you smiled, resting your hands on his chest.

His eyes softened, and he leaned in closer to you, a breath away from touching his lips to yours. “Are you going to bite my tongue off if I kiss you?”

“I’m not a fucking savage like-”

And then he did it, finally, after months of sexual tension, he finally kissed you. Soft and gentle at first as if testing the waters. And then as both of you got the hang of it, his kiss turned into one that was heavy and hard and desperate, as though you were going to run away from him if he didn’t make you stay with his mouth.

He pushed you against the wall, his hands roaming all over you, gripping and squeezing and massaging, while he forced his tongue inside your mouth to explore.

“I want you,” he gasped, going down to your neck to leave love bites, “I’ve wanted you for so long.”

You wanted him too, more than just his body, more than what you had, but you stopped yourself. Because you weren’t supposed to.

“Jason,” you panted, “St-stop.”

And just like that, he did. He wrenched his hands away from you as if he was shocked by electricity and looked down at you with worry in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“You don’t… You don’t want me,” you said solemnly, “Not in the way I want you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m just… I’m just the first person you opened yourself up to after a traumatizing event,” you explained, “It’s natural for you to develop a dependency, and I don’t blame you for it, but-”

“You think that’s what this is?” he hissed, “Dependency?”

“It’s like when a patient falls in love with their therapist. It happens and it’s normal and-”

“Fuck you,” he seethed. “You think I can’t tell the difference between wanting you and- and needing you?”

You pursed your lips and simply looked at him, unsure of what to say.

“I don’t fucking need you,” he sneered, “And I’ll fucking prove it.”

In a blink, he left the room.

“What? Wait- Jason!” you followed after him.

He was in his room, throwing his things into a duffel bag.

Your heart sank at the realisation.

“What are you doing?” you whispered.

“I’m leaving,” he said.

“Why?”

“You think I’m so fucking helpless?” he aggressively shoved his clothes into the bag, “You think that I can’t fucking be like a normal person? Well, I’ll just show you how fucking independent I can be.”

“You don’t have to do this, Jason,” you tried, “It’s not about trying to prove your point! This is about your mental health and wellbeing and-”

“STOP FUCKING DOING THAT!” he yelled, causing you to jump. “Stop fucking babying me. I’m not a patient and you’re definitely not my therapist. You’re just a stupid girl who thinks she knows me better than I know myself!”

“Jason, I-”

“How can I be normal again when you’re scared of being normal with me!” he continued, “You didn’t even tell me that you had people coming over to celebrate your birthday because you were worried that I couldn’t handle it! Did you think I was going to strangle anyone who said my name tonight? Did you think I was going to suddenly flip a switch and break down because they were strangers?”

“That’s because I actually care for-”

“I know!” he shouted, before taking a deep breath. “I know you do. And I know you mean well. But this was bound to happen sooner or later. I need to get back on my own fucking feet without you offering your fucking hand whenever I fall down.”

“But, you’re not-”

A warm but firm hand on your shoulder stopped you in your tracks. You turned to see Bruce looking at Jason with his eyebrows knitted together, his lips downturned- he was the Bruce underneath the mask.

Jason stood up straight and looked at him in defiance.

A moment’s silence. And then-

“Do what you need to do. But don’t forget that you are always welcomed here. Call me if you need anything. And I mean anything.”

You gaped silently at Bruce.

Jason nodded at him, giving a small smile.

“Bruce, you can’t just let him leave! This is irrational, and spontaneous, and uncalculated-”

“He’s his own man,” Bruce stated, “He knows what he needs. And I trust him enough to know he will be okay. You should too.”

And with that, Bruce left.

You couldn’t do anything but silently watch Jason resume his packing, and when he was done, you watched him carry his bag to the Manor door.

“I’ll see you again. Whenever.”

And you were left there alone, on the night you turned eighteen, heartbroken over a man who deserved more than what the world gave him.

***

“He hasn’t slept for more than four hours ever since… Ever since he escaped,” you told Dick who had just arrived.

It had been two months after Jason left. He never contacted you once, and if he did contact Bruce, you wouldn’t have known about it.

“And you? How are you doing?” Dick sat down on the sofa next to you.

“The usual,” you shrugged, “Tired. I’d worry more about Bruce.”

“It’s not like it’s the first time Joker’s escaped from Arkham,” Dick stated, “Bruce knows what he needs to do.”

“But it’s the first time he’s escaped with zero evidence,” you explained, “No evidence, no witnesses, nothing. Even Harley doesn’t know what happened. And we have no idea where he is now. I think that’s what’s bothering Bruce the most.”

“Well, it’s only been two weeks since the escape,” Dick sighed, “He’s bound to appear sooner or later.”

“Isn’t that why you’re here? To help?”

“Yeah,” he hummed, “Hey, have you seen the news lately? About that guy who’s running around beating up criminals?”

“The vigilante wannabe?” you snorted, “Sure. He’s a joke. Zero class whatsoever.”

“Do you think it could be..?”

“No,” you shook your head, “I’ve thought about it, but no. He’s just another thug.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Jason wouldn’t rub me off the wrong way like this Red Hood does,” you crinkled your nose, “There’s just something I don’t like about this guy. I think it’s the way he thinks he’s so good. Challenging us like that.”

“Challenging us?”

“Dick, he’s got a blood red bat-symbol on his chest!” you threw your arms up, “It’s insulting- and obviously a mockery.”

“He’s clearing the streets though,” Dick gave you an amused expression, “He’s doing good.”

“He’s an asshole who uses guns to threaten people.”

“He hasn’t actually killed anyone.”

“Yet,” you grumbled, “When you’re that armed, you probably mean business. People are afraid of him. They don’t respect him. Not the way Batman earned his respect.”

“What does Bruce think of him?”

“Nothing. I’m telling you, Dick, he’s just another thug. Besides, Bruce has bigger problems to worry about. Like a lunatic clown that kidnapped his son and tortured him for years being on the loose.”

***

Another two months passed since Joker broke out of Arkham, and Bruce was still obsessing over him.

You couldn’t blame Bruce, obviously. The way he spoke about Joker had never been the same ever since Jason came back. You suspected that he pieced together what that sick bastard had done to Jason, not that Bruce ever said anything about it.

The last time it had rained that heavily while you were on patrol, you had gotten shot. Since then, the bullet wound scar on your back tingled slightly every time you were out in the rain. You knew it was all in your head.

Separated from Batman, you were patrolling downtown, looking down at the alleyways from the rooftops of run down shopping lots. Bruce had made your cape lighter and waterproof after your accident and complaints, so at least you weren’t completely drenched.

But it was still cold.

It was a slow night- as slow as any rainy night would be. A shiver ran down your spine violently. Anyone who was out that night were either crazy, or desperate. The wind was howling, the rain left thunderous pelts as it hit the ground.

And then you heard it, a loud BANG of a gun being fired.

Your head snapped to the direction of the sound, and you grappled- only a few blocks over before you saw the source.

It was the man they called Red Hood, big and bulky, wearing all black except for a leather vest that had a red hood attached to it, pulled up. The red bat symbol on his chest looked as if it was glowing angrily at the whimpering man on the floor.

“Get out of here before I shoot your other knee, you fucking sick pervert,” you heard him growl.

The man scrambled up and limped away.

You saw it as an opportunity to finally confront the asshole, so you dropped down to the alley, right behind him.

That close, you could see how big he was. Broad shoulders, massive biceps, tight fucking ass-

“And who gave you permission to wear that symbol on your chest?” you sneered.

You had expected him to jump in surprise at your voice, but he didn’t. He just stayed there, his back towards you, his smoking gun in his right hand.

You frowned angrily. You made sure to be quiet, and with the rain, it was almost impossible for a stupid thug like him to hear you.

“I’m talking to you, asshole!” you yelled heatedly. “Who the fuck do you think you are?”

He slowly turned to face you, revealing an odd red metal mask that covered his whole face except his forehead.

“They call me Red Hood,” he answered, voice muffled. “Haven’t you been reading the news?”

You clenched your jaw at his teasing, arrogant tone.

“That symbol is reserved only for people who deserve it,” you scowled.

“Is that why you don’t wear the symbol, then?”

“I- you-” you gaped furiously, “I’ll fucking rip it off you.”

He chuckled. “If you wanted me to see me shirtless, you could have just asked, sweetheart.”

You were going to throw another round of insults at him, until you recognized his words.

No. No fucking way.

Dick was right?!

“Jason?” you whispered.

He pulled down his hood, and took off his mask to reveal a grinning Jason. “Miss me?”

“But- you- no- but-” you stuttered, “You’re huge! What the fuck?”

“Let’s get out of the rain, and I can show you how huge I really am,” he winked at you.

You felt your face burn despite the cold. So he was extra flirtatious now, too?

“Where?” you asked.

“My safe house.”

“I need to tell Batman.”

“So tell him.”

You pressed onto the gadget in your ear. “Batman. I found Red Hood. He’s… Him. I’m going with him. Is that okay?”

“Affirmative. I’ll see you back at the Cave.”

You looked at Jason. “Lead the way.”

***

“This isn’t your safehouse, this is Batman’s!” you gasped when you walked down the small staircase that led you underground.

“Yep,” Jason replied, taking off his glove to key in a passcode and scan his thumbprint. “I found out he added my print to all his safehouses in Gotham.”

“So he knew where you were the whole time?”

“Yeah. He didn’t tell you?”

“No,” you grumbled, walking into the familiar looking space.

All of Bruce’s safehouses looked the same. The small emergency ones, at least. It was a small room with nothing but a bed, a first aid station, a toilet with a shower, and a small armoury. He had bigger ones for bigger emergencies, but this was more like a safe stop for when he needed to quickly recover.

“This was the only favor I accepted from him,” he suddenly said defensively, “I’ve been getting by without his help for everything else. Even my weapons are my own.”

“That’s good,” you smiled, “I’m glad you’re doing okay.”

You took off your mask and clipped off your cape, but your vision was suddenly gone. Jason had threw a towel on top of your head.

“Dry yourself off, you’ll get everything wet,” he grunted.

You scruffled your wet hair with the towel and then proceeded to take off your boots and gloves.

“So when were you planning on coming back?” you sat on his bed and watched him take off his weapons and the vest.

“I don’t know,” he simply shrugged.

“So you just didn’t really have a plan?”

“I did. And I went through with it. Now I’m not sure.”

“Not sure about- Jesus, do you really have to do that here?” you asked.

Jason was peeling off his skin tight black undershirt. “My safehouse, my rules.”

“But you have a bathroom, don’t you?” you desperately asked. He was unbuckling his belt, and you forced yourself to look away.

“Yeah.”

“So go change there. I’ll wait here.”

“Are you blushing?”

“No, just go!”

“Look at me.”

“No.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him moving closer to you to stand right in front of you. You felt his grip on your chin, forcing you to turn your head up towards him. There, you met his eyes, intense and bright- brighter than they were before.

“Is it distracting for you?” he smirked, “I worked hard, you know.”

You gulped at the sudden closeness. It had been months since you last spoke to him, and the unexpectedly close contact didn’t help with your nervousness.

He bent down and took your hand in his free one, bringing it up to place it flat against his bare chest, his hot skin burning into yours.

“Can’t you feel the difference?” he muttered, bringing your hand down his chest to his stomach, now sporting a fucking defined eight pack. You refused to look anywhere else but his eyes. “No? Well, how about here, then.”

He pushed your hand down to his crotch, and you definitely could feel how hard he was already.

“Jason!” you gasped, widening your eyes.

He let out a chuckle before crashing his lips against yours, his weight causing you to fall backwards onto the bed. Climbing over you, he started licking at your lips, gently prodding his tongue into your mouth. All the while, your hand didn’t leave his crotch, even though he had released you from his grip.

And you felt him get harder and larger by the second.

“Jason,” you moaned, heat tingling at your core.

You had missed him. Missed his laughs, his glares and insults, his arms around you at night, even his boner poking you annoyingly in the ass.

“Baby.”

And there it was, his baby.

You started to palm his length through his pants, earning a gasp from him that you swallowed.

“Have I proven myself to you?” he panted, going to nibble your earlobe. “I don’t need you. I want you. Fuck, I want you so bad.”

“Okay, holy shit, fine!” you conceded, your hands travelling up his body to caress him, to feel him. “I… I want you to. I’ve wanted you for so long, but…”

“But you didn’t want to take advantage of my emotional instability,” he scoffed. “I know. And I appreciate it. But how about right now?”

“Right now I just really want you to fuck me,” you breathed.

“Fucking hell,” he chuckled, “Okay, sweetheart.”

He started kissing you again, nipping at your lips while he tried to take off your uniform- but failed.

“Why the fuck is this more complicated than mine was?” he complained.

“Because I’m the new and improved Robin,” you winked at him, helping him find all the hidden zips and clasps and buttons. Soon enough, you were in your underwear.

“Fuck, you look better without some fucking guy’s arm around you,” he started kissing your chest, squeezing your breasts through your bra.

“Are you still not over that?” you laughed.

“I get pissed every time I think of it,” he grumbled. His hands went to your back and unhooked your bra, which he pulled away. “Fuck, you’re beautiful.”

And then he attacked your nipples. Biting and sucking on one side with his mouth, and squeezing and twisting and tugging the other with his fingers.

“Jason, please,” you whined, raising your hips to meet his for any kind of friction. You could feel his heavy length on your inner thigh.

“So impatient,” he chuckled, a hand snaking down your body and underneath the band of your underwear. “It took me so long before I could even come, baby. Remember?”

“Hnngh,” you groaned when he started to run his finger up and down your wet folds, “And you still haven’t?”

He paused and looked at you with a grin.

“Oh my god, you have?” you exclaimed.

“Yeah,” he smiled, giving you another peck on the lips. “It was about a month ago. Slow night. Excess energy. I was lying in bed.”

He slid off your panties with little trouble, and now you were completely exposed to him. You thought you would have gotten shy at one point, but you were so excited to have him there, to have him do things to you, that you didn’t care.

“And I was thinking of you,” he whispered in your ear, his warm breath tickling, “I was thinking about what you were up to. Whether you went out for patrol, because it was raining that night.”

He started circling on your clit slowly with a consistent pressure, causing you to squirm in his arms.

“And I never told you this, but one of the reasons why I waited for you to come back after patrol is because I fucking love seeing you in your uniform,” he continued, “Sweaty, disheveled, flushed with adrenaline, blood pumping. And wet when it rains.”

He stopped working on your clit, but then gently inserted a finger into your hole, making you groan as he went in knuckle deep and then started to slide it out and in and out and in.

“And I just imagined you in your room taking off your uniform. Piece by fucking piece, I could see it in my head, you sighing and frowning because you’re so tired, and just want to shower. And then my cock started to get hard, because I’m thinking of you naked with water running down your skin.”

He curled his finger upwards, pressing against that spot inside you that made you breathless.

“And before I know it, my pants are off and I’m fisting my cock,” he went on, his voice husky, “For the first time, I was actually touching myself and I wanted to come. And all I could think about was you, baby. I thought about how you looked like when you presented your pussy to me that night. I thought about how wet you would be if you were touching yourself at the same time I was.”

With his thumb, he circled on your clit while he fucked your pussy with his finger. It was a little uncoordinated, but it felt amazing all the same.

“And that just opened a lot of doors for me,” he chuckled, “Not that I never thought about it before then, but I was really focused on how you would look like underneath me while I fucked you. I thought about how you would look like with your lips around my cock. I thought about how you would taste.”

He increased his pace, and your eyes were closed then, rolling to the back of your head.

“And then I just knew it, baby. I had to come. Then and there. So I did.”

Fuck, you were on the edge already.

“I fucking came all over myself, moaning your name.”

“Jason.”

“That’s it, sweetheart. Come.”

And you did. You felt your pussy clench around his fingers, your breath stuttering as he made you come.

“Holy shit,” you laughed, “Where the fuck did you learn how to do that?”

“Let’s just hope I’m as good at fucking as I am at fingering you,” he grinned, taking off his pants finally to reveal his hard and leaking cock.

“Fuck, Jason, I want you inside me. Right fucking now,” you whined, spreading your legs for him.

“Patience, sweetheart,” he tapped your clit with his dick, “We gotta take it slow. It’s- it’s my first time too so I’m not sure- I just- fuck, just let me know if it hurts, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Okay, I’m gonna-”

“Ow!”

“What’s wrong?” he panicked, “I haven’t even put it in yet!”

“Yeah, I know, I was just joking,” you giggled.

“Sunnova- fuck you,” he growled, “It’s not funny. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Don’t worry, Jason,” you reassured, “Just take it slow. I’ll let you know if it hurts.”

He nodded, and fuck, you could see him gulp in nervousness. It was fucking adorable.

“I’m going to put it in now.”

You nodded, bracing yourself.

Feeling the tip of his dick press into your entrance, you moaned in pleasure at the slight stretch. It felt rubbery, and you didn’t even notice when he put the condom on.

He pushed in slowly, checking to see if he was hurting you.

“Ah!” you gasped out loud, “Wait, just stay there for a bit.”

“Shit, okay, I’m sorry,” he replied.

“It’s fine, it just stings a bit,” you breathed in deeply. “Need to get used to it. Your cock is huge.”

“And your pussy is tight,” he groaned, “Fuck, I could just come right now.”

You waited for a few more seconds, and then nodded at him. He pushed in a bit again, and you could see how hard he was holding back.

“Pause, pause,” you gasped, “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” he leaned forward, burying his face in your neck, “You feel so good. So fucking good.”

“And your cock is massive, Jason, Jesus,” you laughed, “Okay, you can put the rest in now.”

And finally, Jason bottomed out, leaving you feeling full and stretched, and fuck. It still hurt a bit, but for some reason, it wasn’t enough. You wanted more. You wanted him to move.

“You can move now, but slowly please,” you requested.

You felt him nod against your neck, and then he started moving his hips extremely slow, sliding his cock almost all the way out until just the tip, and then pushing it back in.

Jason’s cock filled you up in a way that your walls were already clenching around him. He was already hitting every fucking spot inside of you, which was what made it feel so good in the first place despite the stretch.

“Baby,” he choked. You never heard him like that before. He almost sounded like he was in pain.

“You can go a little faster now, Jay,” you told him.

“I- I can’t,” he said.

“Why not?” you breathed.

“Shut up,” he groaned, continuing the slow and steady pace that already had you nearly spilling over again.

“Jason, fuck,” you moaned. “Please. Faster.”

“No.”

“Jason,” you almost sobbed, “Please.”

“If I go any faster, I’m gonna come,” he growled in your ear.

“Then come, Jason, please,” you cried, “Please fuck me faster and come with me, please.”

“Fucking- fine!” he gave up, and then increased his pace, knocking the breath out of you.

You didn’t feel it approaching like all your previous orgasms. There wasn’t a build of heat that shot sparks to your toes.

No. It came in suddenly, like an attack of sensations that made you writhe and scream while being fucked steadily for the first time by Jason Todd.

“Fuck, baby,” Jason groaned into your neck, burying his face in your skin while he moved his hips, “Fuck. Fuck. Baby.”

And with a long moan of your name, you felt his dick twitch inside of you, his breath stuttering, a hand that was supporting his weight went to grip your hips tightly.

“Fuck,” he sighed, and he collapsed on top of you, cock still inside.

“Jason, you’re heavy,” you giggled, trying to push him off.

“Lemme get myself outta you.”

“Ah!” you moaned when he slid himself out slowly, still sensitive.

“Fuck, sweetheart, don’t go making those sounds or you’re gonna get me hard again.”

“I can’t help it,” you sighed, watching him tie the condom and tossing it. “Your cock feels good.”

“Don’t,” he groaned, landing on the bed next to you, wrapping an arm around your waist, his face close to yours. “Don’t say anything dirty.”

“Okay,” you giggled, snuggling in close to him. “Jason?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you come back now? Please?”

He hesitated before he answered. “I don’t know if Bruce would take me back.”

“What do you mean?” you frowned.

“You guys never found Joker, did you?”

You stiffened. “What did you do?” you whispered.

“I gave him what he deserved,” Jason answered, “And more.”

You stared at him in shock. “You broke him out of Arkham. That’s why there was zero evidence.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, “It wasn’t easy, but I did. And I made him pay for everything.”

You reached out your hand to caress his cheek. “Are you okay?”

“I am,” he smiled at you, “They all say that revenge wouldn’t make you feel better. That you’d still feel empty inside. But not for me. It- it gave me closure. It healed me because… Because I know that he can’t get his hands on you and do to you what he did to me.”

After you got over the shock, you genuinely felt happy for him. You would have killed the fucker yourself eventually, but Jason deserved to do it. He deserved to end the life of the person who made his a living hell.

“Bruce doesn’t have to know,” you said quietly.

“He will eventually,” Jason sighed. “It’s Bruce. I’d be surprised if he hasn’t figured it out already.”

“He wouldn’t blame you, Jason,” you told him, “Not- not if he knew. Not if he knew what Joker did to you.”

“He would throw me out,” Jason denied.

“He loves you,” you said, “He loves you, and he will forgive you. Maybe he’d get angry at first, and even then I think he’d be directing his anger towards himself rather than you. He’s changed, Jay. More than you know.”

Jason frowned, mulling over your words. “Fine. I’ll give it a try. But if he kicks me out, I get to say I told you so.”

“He won’t,” you smiled, “I won’t let him. If he does, I’ll go with you.”

Jason blinked at you, surprise etched on his face. “You would do that?”

“Of course. How could I not? I don’t know how obvious it is, but I kinda like you.”

He laughed out loud, “I like you, too.”

“So come back, okay?”

“Fine,” he rolled his eyes, “Besides, now that I’m functioning sexually, it’d be pretty hard to stay away from you.”

“I knew you were a perv,” you laughed, “You have to show me that video. Girl gets-”

“Don’t even. Ever.”

“Jason Kinky Todd has a nice ring to it.”

“Don’t fucking call me that.”

[gumnut-logic]

Callisto (Part Ten - Capture)

Prologue 1. Incident - Bit 1 | Bit 2 2. Fallout - Bit 1 | Bit 2 | Bit 3 3. Voyage - Bit 1 | Bit 2 | Bit 3 4. Arrival - Bit 1 | Bit 2 5. Orientation 6. Rescue Site 7. Investigation 8. Recovery 9. Retreat 10. Capture

This part is much shorter than all the previous parts because it called for a cut where I cut. The next bit will be longer, I promise (it already is and I haven’t finished it yet - yes, Steampunk has been distracting me, but I have a weekend coming up :D )

As always, many thanks to @scribbles97​ @janetm74​ @vegetacide​ and @tsarinatorment​ for all their amazing support. I can’t do this alone with out my cheering squad dragging me out of the doldrums from time to time, so I owe them many thanks for all their help and support.

And thank you to Thunderfam in general who have kept me writing for nearly three years now. Fandomversary is coming next month ::rubs hands together::

I hope you enjoy this and my apologies for everything.

-o-o-o-

Commander Tracy glared around the room. Three of his brothers stood alert and geared up while Gordon looked ready to ignite on the spot.

Scott threw up a hologram of the director’s location. “We will enter through the drilled access way. I will pilot Dragonfly Two. Virgil, you’re with me and on medical.” He eyed his engineer brother, wary of his condition, but Virgil stood straight and nodded. “Alan, you’re in Dragonfly Three riding medical transport. John, you’re backup. Stay on Thunderbird Three unless you are needed.” God, he hoped he wasn’t. “This is a dart in and out operation. We will not be staying for any longer than necessary. I don’t trust this situation at all and I am not willing to risk-“

“What about Ju?” Grae’s voice was near frantic.

Scott turned to him, not unsympathetic. “Your wife is a priority, Commander, however, we will secure Director Berrenger’s safety first. If there proves to be an immediate opportunity to rescue the second life sign, we will. We have not given up. I can promise you that.” He set his shoulders even straighter than they were. “We will find her.”

The Base Commander blinked, his composure unsteady, but he said nothing further.

Scott was grateful.

“Dad and Uncle Lee, you will stay here, as will Gordon.”

Gordon swore under his breath and Scott frowned at him. Their father opened his mouth, but Commander Tracy turned and glared and the man shut it again.

Uncle Lee played eye tennis between the two of them.

“Everyone clear?” If he was abrupt, he felt the situation called for it.

That and the throbbing of his head.

But the nods of his team reassured him somewhat.

“Then let’s do this. Thunderbirds are go.”

-o-o-o-

The tunnels were becoming all the same.

Alan had flown them out here again and, working around the reminder of Four’s broken shell, they redeployed two of the dragonflies. Scott still didn’t have a blue pod, but green was a step closer.

He flung himself and his brother down the hole in the moon and through those tunnels yet again.

They still sparkled enough to burn a hole in the back of his skull. Fantastic for the headache.

“Virgil?”

“What?”

Scott blinked. “You okay?”

“If you refer to my previous seven replies to that question, I suspect you will find the information you are looking for.” Virgil’s tone was positively acidic.

Scott’s lips thinned as the tunnel walls darted past. “No need for snark.”

“No need to ask me eight times in the last fifteen minutes.” A sigh. “I have a headache. I’m tired. But I am fine. Status unchanged within the last two minutes. Stop worrying.”

The dragonfly darted out into Dry Cavern and hooked into the comms beacons leading into the right tunnel to Crystal Cave. Alan darted in close behind.

“I’m your brother, it’s my job to worry.”

“Waste less grey hairs on me, then. I’m fine.”

White ice reared up on one side of the tunnel and Scott’s eyes widened. His memory of that event wasn’t clear and it was confronting. He and Virgil had been buried in this?

As if to answer, the pod darted past two very obvious excavations, the last being Virgil’s was much deeper than the first.

And Virgil wondered why Scott worried so much?

He tipped the dragonfly sideways to fit it through the last of the tunnel that was mostly full of that ice still and broke through into Crystal Cavern again.

The pod’s spots lit up the ever still lake and the crystals in the walls.

And a body on the beach.

John had kept the line of communication to the director open, but she was disorientated and it became very clear that she was unable to receive or hear them at all.

She kept calling for help, muttering about the water hurting, and very little of what she said made any great deal of sense. Hence Scott bringing Virgil. They all had paramedic training, but Virgil had the most.

Didn’t mean Scott was going to let him out of his sight.

She had ceased talking by the time they landed Three. International Rescue only attempted to move faster.

Scott spun the dragonfly around and settled it quickly onto the rock ledge. The director was sprawled on her belly at the edge of the water, next to one of the large crystal formations.

Virgil was moving before Scott had fully settled the pod. His brother flung open the hatch and clambered out, first aid kit in hand, apparently not caring that the last time they were here they had nearly been swept to their deaths.

Scott followed a touch slower, eyes on the environment. “Thunderbird Five, any change?”

“No movement, Thunderbird One. Monitoring.”

Alan settled the second pod down quietly beside Scott as the commander climbed out and strode to where Virgil was running a scanner over the prone space-suited figure.

“Dehydration. Her suit is out of supply. I’m also getting some major stress indicators, but otherwise, nothing broken...” Virgil frowned. “There is some intracranial inflammation.” His brother paused, frown deepening. “Both of her eardrums are ruptured. There is a little bleeding.” That explained why she couldn’t hear them. Virgil tapped the scanner. “We can move her.” He began unfolding a hover stretcher.

“FAB.”

Together they gently lifted the unconscious woman onto the support and Scott turned to tow her towards Dragonfly Three.

John yelled in his ear. “Scott, I’m reading movement!”

But it was Alan yelling Virgil’s name that had Scott spinning.

His brother had stopped to pick up the medkit. As Scott turned, Virgil moaned and folded to the ground.

Behind him, what could only be described as a water tentacle reared out of the surface of the lake and reached for Scott’s prone brother.

Scott didn’t think. Propelling the hoverstretcher in the direction of the pods, he threw himself at Virgil.

Time slowed. The tentacle wavered, thickened and loomed over the both of them as he hauled Virgil into a hurried fireman’s carry and made to run for the pods.

But the thing reached out and snapped around Scott’s legs, toppling him. With the strength of a man attempting to save a brother, Scott heaved Virgil with everything he had, throwing him bodily further up onto the beach.

Clawing at rock, Scott was dragged bodily across the ledge and sucked into the water. A brief sense of falling, fading light and a sharp pain took everything away.

-o-o-o-

Next

[popculturebuffet]

Goof Week: Goof Troop: Forever Goof Review (Everything’s Coming Up Goofy, Good Neighbor Goof, Gotta Be Gettin Goofy) (Commission for WeirdKev27)

Yahhahhooooeeeey all you happy people!  WELCOME TO GOOF WEEK! Now normally when a character who got their start in theatrical shorts has a birthday, I do a marathon of them. I have since last year with Donald and it’s one of my favorite things: it allows me to explore Disney’s rich history of them I was largely unaware of till Disney+, and allows me to revisit the shorts I grew up with in the case of The Looney Tunes or Tom and Jerry while discovering new favorites. SO naturally with Goofy’s birthday in two days I intended to do the same for him, especially since I’d covered Donald and Mickey the same way.

But fate had other ideas. Not thinking about this tradition, Kev, my patreon, friend and the guy who commissions a LOT of reviews from me ($5 an episode if your curious and I WILL make room on the schedule so your commission gets done as soon as possible), suggested reviewing the Goof Troop pilot movie Forever Goofy, later split into the episode Everything’s Coming Up Goofy and Good Neighbor. I loved the idea since I genuinely loved Goof Troop, and decided to do both that week.

It’s then I got a great idea.. why limit myself to JUST doing two things? I hit my 15 dollar patreon stretch goal, so a review of the Goofy Movie was on the Horizon anyway, and for it’s anniversary year Kev has been commissioning House of Mouse Episodes, so it wouldn’t be THAT much of an ask (and it wasn’t) to simply randomly select from a pool of Goofy-Centric episodes instead of all the episodes. 

Thus GOOF WEEK was born, and Kev once again proved vital to all this by suggesting the special Sports Goof from the 80′s. I’d like to give him special thanks as outside of the Shorts Special, which as a patreon he still got to pick one and if you’d like to pick one for Donald’s special, sign on up even one dollar patreons get the honor. , this week is either entirely paid for by him or in the case of A Goofy Movie, is partly thanks to him. I wouldn’t be able to do NEARLY as many reviews nor make money off this without you bud, so thank you. 

So naturally given the idea to do this two parter gave me the idea for this week and that Goofy Movie makes a logical finale for said week, it only made sense to start the week with Goof Troop. Bop-dop-da-da-do-bop, YEAH. 

Goof Troop is the first Disney Afternoon show I ever watched and the only one I watched when I was younger, as Disney Channel used to play it ocasinally when I was younger and Toon Disney would do the same and I even got to Marthoon it when Disney XD did a weekend marathon. Given it starred my faviorite Disney Character, Donald hadn’t worked his way up to tying with him quite yet, I loved what I could grab of it. And as an adult.. it still holds up. It has problems i’ll get into, but it is a real good time so I was exastic to get an excuse to watch some of it and much like with Darkwing wish I had sooner. 

Before I can h-h-h-hit it though, I have to talk about the series history. I ALMOST didn’t find anything: much like the other Disney Afternoon shows there really wasn’t much on the Disney wiki nor wikipedia, google turned up nothing... it wasn’t till I went to the Tv Tropes Trivia Page for the series, where i’d remembered reading about some early versions of the show, that I hit gold: A two part behind the scenes blog post by series co-creator Michael Peraza. You can find part one HERE and part two HERE. It’s a short but fascinating read. 

Speaking of fascenating Peraza himself is someone i’d never heard of till reading this article but damn if he isn’t a legend. Seriously the guy’s career is as an unsung hero, starting work under the Legendary Nine Old Men, and working on some of disney’s greatest films: The Great Mouse Detective, Aladdin, The LIttle Mermaid, and Beauty and the Beast, along with live action cult classics Tron and Return to Oz via concept art. And concept art is where he’d hit his stride: he did conceptual work for all the big Disney Afternoon shows apart from Gargoyles, being one of the key guys in the early days of Disney Television animation. He didn’t stop at just designing things either as he worked as Art Director for Ducktales, The Proud Family and of course given how vital he was to it’s creation, Goof Troop, and to this days gives lectures with his wife to aspiring animators. He even did some guest work for the 2017 Ducktales Episode “Treasure of the Found Lamp!”. So yeah dude’s awesome

So how did he come to be a key part of this show’s creation? Well he’d just finished up some concept work on some other Disney Afternoon shows, and being a company man was glad to report to the Goof Troop..ers to help as the show was having trouble getting off the ground. The reason for this was the creative exec, who Peraza didn’t name out of kindness as the guy wasn’t a BAD person.. just a clueless one, this being his first job in film and tv.  As such rather than work hard to develop around goofy or focus on his strengths the kid threw out one concept after another: The series got it’s name from a pitch that had Goofy as a scoutmaster, something I was glad to finally know. To quote Peraza

“ Although while I was doodling versions of the show that were destined to never see the light of the TV screen,  the pitch date remained etched in stone and kept creeping closer. Various versions would find their way to the surface only to sink again into the wasteland known as the roundfile (trashcan). One moment Goofy was the Captain of the Fire Department, the next day a detective out of the Maltese Falcon mold, or a swash buckling hero fighting The Flying Dutchman. 

The supporting cast he came up with really wasn't very supportive when you consider they sometimes included alien dragon babies with wings along with a large gorilla. Somebody at Walt Disney Television Animation must have really had a thing for giant gorillas around this time as they were plugged into almost every concept we  assembled.”

It was clear that while Goofy COULD fit into just about anything, this exec was just throwing everything at the wall, nothing was sticking, and rather than try to refine his supporting cast, they kept having to throw them out and start over. And dont’ get me wrong, cartoons go through a lot of development and changes as they go.. but it’s usually born from a concept and usually by this point, they at least have what the show will be ABOUT in stone. While i’ve had the same creative changes and what not when coming up with projects that ultimately never saw the light of day, and currentlly some I hope to but might not, I’m not being paid by a studio to do this nor had a hard deadline. I was just spitballing trying to get something anything off the ground before reviewing gave me a steady outlet for my creativity and thus ballanced me to take my time with stuff. Peraza WAS turning out amazing art, like this concept art for the fireman pitch that honeslty makes me want to see it as a series. Who DOSEN’T want to see 9-11 with Goofy as the main character? Throw in Donald and grown up versions of Max, PJ and PIstol (And even not THAT much for the former two, as they did go off to college and all), don’t forget Roxanne this time out and you have a worthy goofy movie sequel. 

So yeah this wasn’t working and the latest pitch was not great: Putting Goofy in ToonTown as a cabbie driving the Cab from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. As Peraza TRIED to point out to the exec, putting Goofy in a naturally goofy setting didn’t really play to the characters strength, his whole shtick being a goofus in a normal world. Enough of an every man to root for but also a slapstick joly weirdo. 

The executive’s INCREDIBLY douchey response, especially since Peraza was a Disney Vetran at this point and had spent quite a lot of time on Ducktales, so he knew what he was talking about was “Do it anyway and leave the “Visionary” part to me”

As you can tell by MR. OOC there, this might be one of the most punchable sentences i’ve ever read. 

So Peraza wasn’t in a great place and was naturally terrified when he got a call from Gary Krisel, president of Disney TVA, asking about the show and to see him about it. 

Turns out though Krisel was a nice guy who already had a great working relatinship with Peraza, and genuinely wanted to know what was going on there and wanted his honest opinion. It’s why i’m not AGAINST executives in animation as sometimes they can come in when somethings clearly not working or allow a smooth transition of power if a propelmatic creator has to be booted off their own show so the show and i’ts crew don’t suffer as a result. It’s just more often than not they cause headaches or cancel shows for entirley stupid or self motivated reasons. But I will give credit where it’s do and point out times where there NOT stupid or homophobic or what have you and this is indeed one of those times. 

Peraza was indeed straight with him: pointing out all the concepts they’d gone through, and like with the other guy honestly gave his opinon the ToonTown Pitch wasn’t working.. and he not only agreed but asked Peraza himself, actually respecting his experince instead of yelling at him that he has a vision that wouldn’t last the end of the day probably. 

Peraza was HOPING this was where this was going and gladly gave him a far less high concept pitch and one truer to the character, quoted in full bellow:

“ My spiel went as follows, "Goofy is a recognized star of Disney animation, so why re-invent the wheel? His son is an average kid dealing with many of the usual issues they face: peer pressure, young love, grades, school bullies, and so on. On top of all that, he has the zaniest, wackiest GOOFIEST dad to live down. No matter how insane the situations get though, they will always love each other. They're a family." Gary asked how I would pitch it and I replied, "It's ONE day in  the life of Goofy and son. From getting up in the morning to fixing breakfast, we see their difference side by side as his son tries to distance himself. No matter what though he knows deep inside that his father will always be there for him, whether he likes it or not."

If your wondering if Peraza noticed that that original pitch line is basically the peremise and emotioinal core of The Goofy Movie down pat.. your extremley correct and he notes that the film was based on said pitch even if he had no involvment with it that I could tell. The series would still use this but the whole embarasment aspect was toned down, and honestly fit a teenager better than an 11 year old.. 

So the exec loved it and Peraza shaped the core of the series: the idea of having Pete as his nemisis, pete having a nuclear family including a gorgeous wife, and the show being more slice of life and what not. He made some great sketches, got roaring approval and then pitched it to rousing success and the rest is history. Goof Troop was a moderate success and The Goofy Movie after it is a classic beloved by all. We have this wonderful man to thank for all that and I also thank him , on the offchance he ever sees this, for bringing Goofy into modern times in a way that did the man-dog justice.  It’s thank to you we got this fun series, two great movies, and a goofy the way he is today: the best of everything about him rolled into one. Thanks man, free review.. not htat you NEED It since you’ve worked on things i’ve covered and what not, but I feel like I should offer.  Outside of Peraza, I found one last bit of making of stuff before I get to the premiere proper. These two early concept shots:

The first has Max who both looks older and has red hair like he did in the shorts. Honestly I see a lot of his Goofy Movie self in thiis design, the only diffrence obviously being the red hair which was wisely changed to make the boy look more like goofy, something kept for the movie. 

The more intresting one is this shot of the Pete’s. Starting with Pete he’s more athletic and has a perfectly tacky outfit. While changing him to be a bit more slovenly honestly fit this version of the character better, I do wish they’d kept hte outfit as the tacky gold and green jacket, the gold chain, the open ollar.. it all fits this version of pete so well, as well as his illusion of being a big shot when he is in fact a medium one. Peg is both slightly younger looking and far more doting and is so different I swear this picture looks like Pete remarried after the divorce and got some lipo. Pistol has about the same design but with a vastly different, more Isabella-ish outfit. Finally we have PJ who looks the same, but has a diffrent outfit and a far more sour demeanor, probably meant to be a bully. My best guess is sthis stuff comes from the pitch, and was likely made to simply get the basic premise across before fine tuning the characters for series

So with all of that out of the way i’m calling eveyrone to join in the fun under the cut and report to the Goof Troop. 

Everything’s Coming Up Goofy:

Our first episode opens in a small but cozy trailer, where Goofy’s cooking up lunch as only goofy could: by making osme meatballs then serving them to his son over a game of table tennis, with Max doing the same. It’s really freaking adorable, and a dynamic i’m not used to since i’m more familiar with Teen Max. Seeing Max genuinely get into his dad’s hyjinks and enjoy them.. it just warms the heart and adds weight to The Goofy Movie by knowing there was a time the two really were thick is thieves before the stygian hole that is high school drained all that out of him. 

So the two are like buddies and pals until the Mailman arrives, not even phased at this point. Turns out it’s a Diploma, and with this Goofy can get a job he’s been up for in Spoonerville and plans to move immediately. Max is devisated he’ll loose his friends and runs away to use a magical mystery box to keep them together only to end up in a land full of frogs with an old man who sounds like his dad minus the drawl and two other tinier frogs and ... I may have the wrong show. In fairness you try dislodging a finale where Keith David runs a 13 year old through with laser sword and then talk to me. 

Goofy is sympathetic though: While he seems a tad oblivous to Max’s worries, it’s very clear he’s jumping on this job and this move so far to give his son a better life. Sure he runs through all the cartoon moving away talking points that don’t work in real life or most other cartoons such as there being a nice lake and that max can make new friends, and Max accepts it weirdly fast because this episode is only 22 minutes and they don’t have time for that subplot... but it’s clear the idea of a better paying job, a secure home not in an alleyway, and some stablility for his son is the real reason Goofy’s doing this, and he probably wants to simply give the boy the childhood he had growing up. 

Meanwhile in Spoonerville, we meet Pete. To my shock this is where Jim Cummings took over the roll he was born for and has played since and with good reasons as Cummings is just amazing with Pete no matter the incarnation and excels here  his penchant for playing jerks, hams and gravely voiced guys all coalesicing. Pete is planning on building what modern toxicly masculine weirdos such as himself would call a Man Cave on his lawn, because Pete is a very SPECIAL kind of douchebag. He also plans to stretch it into the neighboring property, tear down the house there and set it up. 

This is news to his wife Peg, played by fellow voice acting Legend whose stillg ot it, April Winchell in her star making role. Peg is Pete’s strong willed wife who dosen’t put up with her husbands crap.. you know that trope that infected sitcoms for kids and adults of the doofy husband whose either a manchild , a skeevy self serving quipy asshole or some horrible combination of the two. The kind that has still been so prevealant the wife from one of said sitcoms helped produce a show about the wife finally doing the logical thing and plotting to kill the bastard. No really.. that’s an actual thing that’s happening. It’s even got a Little Bit of Alexis as Anne Murphy plays the poor, poor wife. 

And why yes the series is called Kevin Can Fuck Himself. And why yes said former sitcom wife was the same one on a sitcom called Kevin Can Wait who was fired because they wanted to retool the show with the wife from Kevin James other sitcom. That also is very really a thing that happened. Payback is a bitch aint it? Fun too. 

But yeah from minute one Pete is a terrible husband: Peg is a realtor and thus is trying to sell the house because it’s her fucking job instead of letting her husband throw their family deep in debt to very likely illegally demolish a house so he has a giant yard to play in. I mean even if this is all played for jokes i’ts just not funny enough to not make him an utter bastard. The fact his response to her VERY valid criticism and subtextual worry he doesn’t’t take her career seriously is to fake a panic attack, from a very REAL tendency he turns out to have giant breakdowns under stress, to try and guilt her into letting him have his giant public man cave just backs this up.. as does the fact she simply glares at the camera as he’s clearly DONE this before. 

Since I have to put up with this version of him for the rest of this episode, the next, AND a portion of the movie, i’m proudly introducing the Pete Sucks Counter. This will carry over to any other appearances of the guy from here on out. So that’s one for his insane plan, one for disrespecting his wife’s career and one for faking a panic attack to try and win an argument Pete Sucks Counter: 3

So because this episode ran short Peg caves and compromises: He can have the property if it isn’t sold by 9. So Pete does what ANY husband would do: uses his spy camera and booby traps he’s set up in the other house to try and scare away prospective buyers. 

Yeah.. while the show TRIES to have Pete not as his old-timey villian self.. they traded in for him being fucking MODOK. I mean he is a grotesque monstrosity who has a nuclear family and spends all his time in a chair thing and can barely function as a Husband or Father. Though at least I can belivie MODOK LOVES his family which not so much with Pete. 

To prove this Pete tries using a fake spider to scare some buyers then CALLS THEM TELLING THEM PEG IS A CON ARITST. I.e. something that if they mention to her bosses could get her FIRED. He respects his wife’s autonomy, what she wants and what she’s asked him for, which is a fair shot to sell the place before he tries to wreck the place, as well as likely what his neighbors want. I mean I can accept breaks from reality for comedy, snakebird is my boy. 

So I can accept pete has this stuff.. I just can’t find it funny when these shenanignas very transparently show that while he surface level loves his wife he dosen’t respect her or actually listen to her except when she gets angry. He IS the villian so he’s still a slight step among monst sitcom dads but i’ts not great. I can find it funny that his den also functions as a super villian lair though. That shit will never not be great. Also Pete Sucks Counter: 6 For the record: one for the spider itself, one for having traps set up in a property hat both isn’t his and his wife is trying to sell and another for threatening her job and her self esteem as she is baffled at what she possibly did wrong. 

So Goofy and Max get on the road, leaving moving the rest of their stuff to an old coot whose a friend of theres. So it’s goodbye Duckburg, Hello Spoonerville! And yes I headcanon this as Duckburg. Goof Troop is one of two shows that very clearly happened in SOME form, the other being Tailspin, the only difference being the time period (Goof Troop taking place in the 90′s and Tailspin in the 30′s or 40′s) and any adjustments for clashes with the 2017 verse. So going off that, we also know Donald and the boys KNOW goofy and didn’t remotely question his presence, as did the rest of the cast. 

So figuring out the timeline, Goofy likely met Donald in college, even if he never finished college as per an Extremley Goofy Movie, which may not happen the same exact way given Goofy still has his old job and may not loose it in this timeline, though i’d like to think he still meets Sylvia. But point is he drops out, possibly to marry Max’s mom, they end up moving to Duckburg for her work, she sadly dies, and Goofy is left raising Max alone. Donald and Goofy likely bonded as single parents struggling in low paying 9-5 jobs. Goofy left here, likely said goodbye to Donald and the 5 or so year old boys offscreen , and left. As for how anyone else knows him that’s simple: he probably visits whenever he can.  He’s a good friend, genuinely loves Donald like a brother in all continuities, and of course would show up with a progressively more then less grumpy Max every time. As for what I think the rest of the cast would think of him: Scrooge would hate him for his disaster area ways, but at least respect him as a hard worker, he just wouldn’t personally hire him which is.. it’s fair. Beakley would be aggravated by him. Webby would of course like him because she’s essentially him but competent and gay, and Launchpad and him .. god that’d be a joy to see. And drive up Scrooge’s insurance. Della would also like him obviously. I”m really disappointed we didn’t get a season 4 if for nothing else the fact we probably would’ve got another Goofy episode. It also feels weird he’s not in the finale in any way shape or form you know? Why have such a big guest spot for him and then just not bring him or Max back? GIVE ME MORE MAX DISNEY DAMN YOUUUUU So they move right along with Goofy excited to get back to where he once belonged, and to call Pete with the good news on his 90′s cell phone. Pete is utterly TERRIFIED finding out Goofy Comin and tries to send him off course to prevent it. Naturally despite nearly running into a truck, Goofy makes it to Spoonerville by evening anyway and we get a delightful bit that shows off BilL Farmer’s comedy skills as he rapidly lists off all the things in town while driving Max through town. It’s so damn smooth. This also is notable since before this farmer had just played the character in some DTV music videos, which stands for Disney not Denton but god I now want Shock Treatment with the Disney Crew. I mean who wouldn’t want Donald as Brad, Daisy as Janet, and Gladstone as Farley Flavors I ask you. Not sure who every one else would be i’m sorting that out. And if you don’t know what Shock Treatment is, here have this trailer with a nightmarish opening. 

Dammit now I want to watch Shock Treatment again... so I am. Found it in full on YouTube, and I feel no shame in sharing that as it’s not on VOD, nor any streaming service, the DVD, which I own, is out of print, and the Blu Ray is a UK exclusive. This film both needs to be seen more and needs another proper US release damn it!

So naturally Goofy somehow finds Pete’s house.. I dunno maybe Peg’s been sending him letters. Can’t blame her for having a wondering eye long as she dosen’t act on it. She’s married to a walking lump of ego, selfishness and cholesterol and likely only held on as long as she did for the kids. Which for the record Peg as a child of divorce whose parents got divorced rather than keep up a sham marriage or anything.. it’s not worth it. I was MUCH happier that way in the long term. 

Anyways Peg and Goofy happily reunited while they awkardly try to get the kids to meet, with Goofy and PJ not warming up to each other at first, likely because Max just lost all his friends, and PJ clearly had none going into the series from context we’ll get later in the pilot. We also get a hilarious bit where Peg alternates between warmly greeting the goof’s and hilaroiusly shouting at Pistol to not play with worms.. in what honestly sounds like a protype for Miss Finster’s voice. 

Meanwhile the kids try to hide a small crack in Pete’s boat.. which he notices as he’s just about to steamroll the house despite NOT having asked Peg if she sold it yet and just assuming, possibly opening himself and her to a lawsuit

Pete Sucks Counter: 7

Discovering his boat is trashed, he has a comical panic attack, which I can forgive since this was 1992 and they weren’t as well known as a serious problem. Seriously while pete is a bastard man.. the animation on him is GORGEOUS as it is HILARIOUS, while Jim Cummings brings the hell out of it. He’s kept the roll for three decades as of next year for a reason. Goofy ends up accidently destroying his boat in the process of trying to help him as you’d expect. 

So Pete reluctantly lets the goofs sup with them.... and by reluctantly I mean he don’t wanna but Peg’s forcing him, which is pretty much the other half of their relationship in a nutshell: When pete isn’t lying and betraying her, Peg is forcing him to do stuff. As you can probably guess by how harsh i’ve been this aspect has aged INCREDIBLY poorly for me. This is your standard sitcom setup: asshole or dumbass or both dad, put upon wife who has to keep him in line.. but it’s just not how a GOOD marriage works and got so damn draining over time. Again and again we got things saying marriage is awful, comitting sucks unless your young, again and again. It’s why i’m REALLY happy we’ve been getting far better sitcom dad’s and marraiges lately. Bob’s Burgers is naturally the example, with the wife being the less sane one but both having their quriks and neither being so entirely dysfunctional you ever question the marriage. The Louds are another good example: Lynn Sr. And Rita NEVER right with each other that i’ve seen, have a perfectly happy relationship despite 11 kids, and wholly support each other, with Rita happily giving her husband the go ahead to quit his soul draining desk job so he could pursue his deream as a chef, and later letting him take a massive fincial gamble and open up a restraunt, purely because she belivied in him. Finally we have the Williams from Craig of the Creek who are easily one of the best married couples i’ve seen in western animation and one of them’s played by Terry Crews so that shoudln’t be a shock. I could prabobly find more but my points made: this trope REALLY ages the show poorly, more than any of hte 90′s specific tech or swinging theme song I just realized I forgot to talk about. Eh i’ll save it for the next episode. 

I have NEVER liked this trope anyway: only simpsons has really made it work for me and Family Guy did until they just stretched it too far, and with Simpsons at least they freqeuently have episodes pointing out how unehalthy it is. It dosen’t help this trope somehow STILL isn’t dead, as evidenced by the fact Rick and Morty has it in spades and for SOME damn reason got them back together.. I mean they don’t fight anymore but it dose’nt fix the problem. So yeah while I’m not holding against the show TERRRIBLY as this trope wasn’t as widespread at the time, it still dosen’t make it GOOD even at it’s core. 

Things get worse for Pete though as while Goofy praises him (And the Pete Kids rightfly wonder if Goofy is from space given the logic of ANYONE being that fond of pete. ) Pete finds out GOOFY bought the house he was going to demolish and will be staying with them till they move in. I have only one response to his misery....

Max also futzes with the tv which you THINK would lead to Peg finding out her husband is the antagonist of a Blumhouse movie but instead just does nothing. 

So then we have Dinner where we find out SUPRISINGLY, Pete actually has a somewhat valid reason for resenting Goofy: Goofy cost him the big game in high school as Goofy and Peg were on the cheerleading squad together and Goofy accidently kicked pete in the face at a crucial moment, which Pete got the blame for. Granted I did say SOMEWHAT: Goofy is genuinely apologetic and says Pete shouldn’t of been blamed and Pete’s apparently been hiding the truth from his kids this whole time. I do call bullshit on that as while admittedly i don’t get into local football or any sportsball, Pete works at a dealership. At least one asshole would bring it up to either rile him up or out of genuine rage at something that happened at the very least a decade and a half ago. Pete hasn’t let go of this footbullshit DESPITE owning a successful dealership, having two wonderful children, an even more wonderful wife, and a friggin nice boat.  But really.. it speaks to Pete’s character in any version: His ultimate undoing is his greed, his tendency to keep going and never settle. It’s something he oddly shares with Donald but Pete lacks Donald’s’s heart or redeeming moments. Pete just wants and wants and wants no matter who gets hurt because he’s inehently selfish and will simply TAKE It if he can’t get it. But it’s why he’s miserable, and ultimately ends up divorced: He can’t be satisfised so he often looses what he has. 

So with Pete on the rampage Peg sends the boys upstairs. It’s here we get PJ’s first Woobie Moment: He has a room FULL of cool toys, comics and what not but his dad is such a greedy asshole he refuses to let the kid actually use them. He even knows this isn’t normal but is just resigned to it. Rob Paulsen is phenomenal as PJ, being funny and energetic, snarky and off to the side or depressed and fearful all with grace and ease and all making this all feel like the same sweet kid. 

I mention this because Paulsen’s action is so good it highlights an issue with PJ: the writers lean way too hard into how much a hardass Pete is, to the point the series, likely intentionally, HEAVILY implies he physically abuses pete and the stuff on screen isn’t over the top enough, at least for tehse episodes, to get away with how he emotionally abuses him either. He talks down to him, doesn’t let him play toys and as seen by various episode synopsis and the next episode, uses mind games to keep him in line. THIS is why I can’t stand this version of Pete. He’s an abusive monster to this poor boy and I won’t stands for it, nor it being played off as a joke, especially since they try to ping pong between using it for comedy and using it seriously which just.. doesn’t work. 

So Max earns his future best pals’ friendship by trying to help him.. and succeeding by pointing out that while he said not to use the Tank anywhere on the ground.. he didn’t mention the celling or walls and has the tank going up the walls. And clearly by the fact PJ is seen sleeping with it later, despite Petes’ss anger at this, Peg presumably ripped him a new one once she found out about the toys thing. 

So that night Pete can’t sleep with Goofy tromping around the house and tries to whack him with a Golf Club. I’d give him another sucks count.. 

But given my brother lives in the basement and I sometimes accidently wake him by tromping overhead without meaning too, I DO get getting a bit fed up with someone clomping around and waking you up, and it is a slapstick cartoon so trying to physically assault someone is less of a crime here and more a setup for a punchline. 

So get an UTTERLY hilarious scene as teh combination fo tripping on golf balls and Goofy singing his family lullabye, camptown races with lyrics

So Pete proceeds to have another freak out this time RUNNING ALL THE WAY TO DUCKBURG, THROWING THE OLD MAN OUT OF THE CAR AND THEN BRINGING IN THE GOOF’S BEDS AND BOXES BEFORE TOSSING THEM IN THE HOUSE. It is truly an amazing combination of Jim’s utter talent as he babbles hialriously and the animators as they just make it sing. It’s a great climax to part one. So with that the goofs are home and Pete semeingly gets to go to sleep.. until they start working on unpacking. 

Final Thoughts On Good Neighbor Goof:

This is an excellent start to the series. The jokes are really well paced, the characters well introduced and the humor top notch> I had my complaints obviously.. but i’ts more systemic issues with the series, and stuff that honestly it dosen’t hamper my viewing experience for the most part. The PJ stuff does, but it’s not as big a deal this episode as he barely interacts with his Dad, but otherwise it’s stuff that just hasn’t aged well and they can’t be faulted for not seeing a deluge of terrible sitcoms a comin. The cast is top notch: I didn’t get to them in the proper review so Dana HIll deserves praise as Max, giving just the right amount of 90′s TV Kid mixed with real honest emotion and i’ts a tragedy she’s gone. She would’ve been right up there with the rest of this amazing cast in history. Though at least she got a worthy succesor.. but that’s not for now. For now we’re taking an interlude to look at the wonderfully 90′s music video that was aired along with this special:

Gotta Be Gettin Goofy:

This was my raw reaction to this video. Now is it bad? No the song has great flow it somehow manages to scratch Bill Farmer’s goofy vocals with the beat, the rapper makes the cheesy lyrics work, and the chorus of “gotta be getting goofy” backs a great bit. It’s not a bad SONG.. but the video is a hilariously insane mess. We have two of the poor dancers forced to wear just.. HORRIFYING looking Goofy costumes that look like the Dog based sequel to cats that thankfully only exists in my nightmares

I pityt hose poor dancers. Meanwhile the rest of the dancers are wearing Goofy Baseball uniforms and letterman jackets for some reason. is it beause Goofy likes sportsball. I thoguth they just had them lying around but now I see the g’s on the uniform. They CHOOSE to do this. Max also does a shredding guitar solo, not the max up there the animated max. Combine that with LOTS OF random clips from the show and you get this thing.. and i’ts worth a watch> it’s just hilarously what the shit.. not the most hilariously what the shit thing i’ve seen.. not even this week... that would be this thing from the Eurovision Song contest...

Your welcome. So moving on because this is already badly behind. 

Good Neighbor Goof:

So our second episode opens with the Goof’s trying to move in and pete being upset their being loud. Now being upset your neighbors are being loud is one thing: Mine set off fireworks all week around fourth of July. Granted Pete would probably be the one doing such nonsense but still, I get it.. but it’s fair to have a lot of noise when your moving in and in Goofy’s case also trying to patch up a massive hole in the place. 

So he does what any reasonable man would do and activates the earthquake machine he hid in the basement. 

I wasn’t kidding about the MODOK comparisons. Granted the thing uses a belt to somehow do this.. but it’s designed to SIMULATE AN EARTHQUAKE AN DDOES SO WELL. The only reason Goofy’s not dead is that pete uses a low setting that instead ends up unpacking everything. IT’s a neat gag but again... PETE HAS AN EARTHQUAKE MACHINE.

Which Goofy accidently destroys his boat with. Meanwhile the boys try to talk over tin can phones only for Pete to notice and try to stop it because he’s a dick and doesn’t want his son to be happy because he hates Goofy. So Pete’s idea of a punishment is for PJ to wear the family shoes to go crush cans while wearing a helmet and given Pete mutters to himself about this keeping PJ away from Max i’ts likely something that he made up to torture his son soooo..

Pete Sucks Counter: 8 Max being a good pal agrees to help his friend crush the cans down to recycle for money and comes up with a zany scheme to do so

Meanwhile we get a few scenes of Pete trying to eff with Goofy’s day: Peg is making food for Goofy like a good neighbor/someone planning for their eventual divorce, so Pete makes him some too with tons of hot sauce. By the laws of classic cartoons, naturally Goofy loves it and wonders if Pete has hot sauce, while Pete trying it explodes his head Scanner’s style. 

He then tries giving Goofy a chainsaw loaded with some kind of explosive or something... so yes he’s esclated to MURDER over.. Goofy annoying him a bunch as he’s apparently given up on the whole taking over that lot thing. 

Pete Sucks Counter: 9 But it is hilariously petty and naturally backfires again by cartoon law as Pete ends up starting it for Goofy who can’t get it going. 

Meanwhile PJ and Max inact the plan which is to drop a bolder with a rope on the cans, but end up having to ride the cans down when PJ lets it go too early and it ends up sweeping both boys on top of the box. They have fun though, with PJ actually getting to enjoy life for once and loving having a new friend.

So as his lot in life Pete has to ruin it by yelling at PJ for getting diryt, then for hanging out with max as he can SMELL the goof on him.. which means he’s either exaggerating or he knows what goofy smells like. 

So he forbids PJ to see him insluting max.. while Max is hanging out the window and ends up crying. Oh and Peg never gets involved in any of this across both parts, likely because she dosen’t know.. which makes it even MORE horrifying as it gives off the implication Pete gets away with his abuse of his son because he hides it, like a real world abuser. But even then some things like trying to break up his and Max’s friendship or the toys thing you’d THINK she’d notice. 

So we get more untetionally telling stuff as PJ says he’ll treasure this day and the only time he was happy.

Pete Sucks Count: 14 2 for the last scene, 3 for ALLL this one implies. But Max won’t give up the ghost no he won’t give it up. They haven’t the strength to hold on for long but if they both hold on together they can make each other strong. So he has a plan: have Goofy throw a Luau and invite the petes.

Peg naturally forces him to attend and Pete is a dick about it at first, but eventually enjoys himself when they do a conga line. The pets, Waffles and Chainsaw get into some antics. I do love Waffles because I love a kitty. Chainsaw is okay even though I love me a good doggo. Especially this one.

You are a Good Boy, Good Boy. But eventually while playing a party game about passing coconuts, Pete considers the coconut and considers the trees but dosen’t consider Goofy kicking him in the face AGAIN

So Pete is naturally a dick about this despite it being you know, an accident. But he takes it a step further by insulting Max Pete Sucks Count: 15 So Goofy gets mad. But here’s where a rather sizeable flaw shows up in the episode as Goofy.. acts exactly like Pete does about the insuing feud. He forbids Max to see PJ makes up rules and is generally petty and vindictive. And look Goofy could be in the shorts. He’s endlessly adaptable.. but here nothing about his character has shown he’d sink to this and it feels forced to bring abotu the climax. 

Thankfully said finale salvages thing: That night Max pulls PJ into his room via the cans, and comes up with a plan.. weirdly asking PJ to hit him with a muffin to save their friendship... but it’s not random it turns out. His plan.. is brilliant. While I really don’t like these types of feud between neighbors make our kids suffer by making them not be able to be friends because we’re being petty children plots, this one has a REALLY clever solution to that: Max and PJ FAKE an oversclated fued similar to their parents, starting with insutls and throwing mulch and escalting to taking down each others fences and then throwing food at each other, before injuring their dads with planks and stuff, nothing serious just slapstick stuff, all to get both to settle down and try and get the boys to stop fighting.. it works like a charm, it’s full of great bits like Peg offering the boys pie only for Max to use it as amuination and i’ts just a great way to end one of these episodes. Not that I WANT more of these episodes but if your going to do this stock plot you might as well be creative with it.

So we end on the Petes and Goofs having a BBQ, all friends again, with Pete having his marina and Goofy nearly burning Pete’s house down and us getting a photo to end the episode.

Final Thoughts:

This one was a step down. Pete’s abuse is REALLY highlighted here and the plot is very paint by numbers and forces Goofy to be out of character for the last act for it to work at all. He just strikes me as too genuine and noble to hold onto a grudge this easily. Peg is also reduced from her usual feisty self to being oddly useless, not stepping in at ANY point to stop any of this depsite it being grossly otu of character. There’s a few great gags and a great climax, but the whole product is just okay

Later Today: Goof Week and Goofy’s birthday continue as I complete the trilogy of Shortstaculars with one about my boy! Featuring Goofy’s first apperance, his first short and the first apperance of what would eventually become Max! 

If you liked this review, follow me for more and consider joining my Patreon which you can find RIGHT HERE. Even a buck a month helps me keep doing these and more gets me to my stretch goals, the next one up being the two remaining ducktales mini series, a darkwing duck episode a month and a reivew of the danny phantom film the ultimate enemy. And even a buck a month gets you access to exclusvie reviews, my patreon exclusive discord and to pick a short any time I do one of my shortstaculars. My next one is for Donald’s birthday next montha nd there’s only 6 days left to get on that pay cycle so if that sounds good to you get on in NOW while you still can and i’ll see you at the next rainbow. 

[isthisthingeven0n]

wake me up : d.d

brief summary: at the age of sixteen everyone receives the sentence of their soulmate tattooed on their wrist. but after years of waiting, you’re wondering if they’ll ever turn up 

word count: 1.3k requested: not by anyone. i wrote something similar on one of my other blogs and it’s inspired by that tiktok pov about soulmates.  warnings: none that i’m aware of 

* masterlistin’ / masterlistin’ 2.0

(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website know it isn’t me. all rights reserved. - i have to start doing this as I had some shit on my other blog with plagiarism)

also this is dedicated to @dolanwithdobrik​ because home girl read both masterlists in a month which is insane. this is your medal, and thank you for reading

“Okay, 3,2,1!” Your friends eagerly sit opposite you as you keep your eyes closed before you pull down your sleeve.

They watch in anticipation as your eyes scan over the words, seeing your brows furrow together. “Well?” One of your friends speaks up as an uncomfortable silence settles in your room.

A deep huff leaves your lips as you show them your wrist. “I mean what is that even supposed to mean?” You question in frustration, rereading what their first words to you will be.

“And who’s Jonah?” Another friend pitches in with a small laugh.

You wish you could find it funny, but this is what you’re stuck with until you find them.

‘Okay, who wants to see Jonah shirtless?’

*

At the age of eighteen, you thought you might’ve found them. You were attending your cousin's hen do and for part of her last night of freedom, strippers were involved.

All of the others around you cheered as a policeman, a fireman and a doctor walked in. “Okay, which of you ladies wants to see Josh take his top off?” The policeman asked and your eyes widened. “How about you little lady?” He directed the question to you. 

Looking down at your wrist you shake your head. “I’m good, thanks. But I think Alicia might enjoy some time with Josh?” You suggest as the Fireman turns to face your friend and head bridesmaid.

“I’ve always wanted to go down a fireman’s pole!” She drunkenly laughs and you watch as the fireman’s eyes widen.

“Just wait til you see the fire truck.” He jokes back and Alicia nearly chokes on her drink. “Hi love, about time I finally met my soulmate.”

It was safe to say it wasn’t your night, nor year. You watched on as all your friends started to find their soulmates, how genuinely happy they seemed to be.

You longed to have that connection with someone. That out there someone is going to be your destined other half. It sounds intimidating, but you were raised with this belief. Hell, everyone was.

When you left home for college, you were told you had a 90% chance of meeting your soulmate there. You were going to be surrounded by young people all wondering the same question. What you hadn’t anticipated were the daily conversations of joy that surrounded you whilst you remained alone.

“They found me in class!”

“I found her on the subway. So cliche but perfect.”

“We met at that party last week.”

“I don’t think I knew what love was until I found him.”

Within weeks of being at college, you kept your head down and hoodie on. You didn’t want anyone to see your soulmates sentence because they were nowhere to be found. 

Which all leads you to now. At the age of twenty, the majority of your friends have found their soulmates and you’ve given up hope.

It’s not uncommon for some to give up trying. The painful reality is time will guide you, and it’s a real son of a bitch.

Three consistent knocks on your door alert you as you glance from your phone to the door. “Y/n.” One of your roommates, Eliza, calls through the door. “Look we know you’re in there, but come on you gotta go out at some point.” Eliza tries to reason as she turns to her girlfriend with a sympathetic smile.

“How about we go to this event that’s being hosted? It’s super chill and you can go in your sweats.” Florice suggests and wears a hopeful smile as movement can be heard from your room.

Tracing over to the door you swing it open, looking at two of your roommates who are each other’s soulmates. “If I can be comfy I’ll come. What is it anyway?” You question, raising an eyebrow.

“Some YouTube guy from LA. I think his name is David Dokrik?” Eliza tries her best to remember his name, catching a small chuckle leaving your lips.

“Alright, he better be worth it.” You mutter as you grab your things and follow them out of the apartment.

*

Everyone rams into the lecture theatre with excitement as the buzz about this guy and his friends accompanying him only grows.

“What’s the big deal about this guy?” You turn to Eliza who simply shrugs her shoulders, but a guy in front of you turns around.

“He gives out free money and laptops and shit for literally no reason. He’s just rich.” He tells you and you shake your head in disbelief. “Seriously, I bet we’ll all leave with a laptop or a thousand dollars.” He smiles eagerly before turning back around whilst disbelief remains evident in your expression.

“I mean who is that nice?” You scoff as one of the professors walks onto the stage and silence falls.

“Good afternoon students. Today I am delighted to introduce you to David Dobrik and his friends. They’ll be conducting a talk on business skills within the media.”

You turn to Eliza and Florice with a dead look in your eyes. “You said this would be fun.” You mutter to them. “I could be sleeping right now.”

“Then go to sleep here. We’re literally two rows from the back no one will notice.” Florice inputs and you nod, curling up into your hoodie before shutting your eyes as the applause begins. “Just don’t start snoring again.” She quips as she looks over, already seeing you fast asleep.

As David continues with his talk, his eyes wander around the room in anticipation. Over the last few months, he’s done countless events at colleges, just hoping one of them might hold his soulmate. Despite his efforts to keep his sentence hidden on social media, it doesn’t mean the odd person tries to make out they belong together.

Everyone in the audience is enticed by Davids words, including two of your friends whilst you remain in a deep sleep.

“Okay, so I gotta finish this up as I’ll never stop talking otherwise.” David states as he laughs into the microphone.

“Don’t go!” One person yells from the crowd and a series of laughter follows.

“I gotta, I’m sorry guys.” He admits with a heavy heart knowing it’s been another day without finding his soulmate. “But I do have a surprise for you all.”

Excitement intensifies around the room as David rises to his feet. “Under one chair is a cheque for a thousand dollars. If you find it, it’s yours to keep.” He announces with a bright smile as everyone rummages under their chairs.

“Oh my god!” A guy yells out loud, causing you to wake up. “Is this fucking real?” He continues to yell, ignoring the glare from the professor.

As he holds the cheque up confetti flies through the room and you notice David holding a camera as everyone cheers. Without a second to doubt what’s happening, you rise to your feet like everyone else as they clap.

A series of people join David on stage and the cheers from your fellow students grow. “I love you, Jonah!” The guy in front of you yells and initially, you overlook it until David looks to Jonah with a devious smile.

“Okay, who wants to see Jonah shirtless?” David yells and everyone falls silent, mutters exchanges as Jonah stands still looking at David.

“What the fuck dude?” Jonah mutters before heading to the right-wing of the stage until a voice yells out.

“Oh my god, finally!” You blurt out, a nervous laugh escaping your lips as you make eye contact with David.

“No way,” David whispers to himself as he makes his way from the stage, watching as you weave through other students to descend down the staircase.

Everyone turns to look at you both with phones in hand as you stand in front of David. “Hi?” You question, seeing him up close with a wide grin on his face.

“Hi. It’s good to finally meet you.” He says before wrapping his arms around you tightly, not wanting to ever let you go.

[jalapeno-princess]

Too Hot

Firefighter Mark X CEO Reader

Word Count: 7.2k (HAHAHAHAHA so much for a drabble I always get carried away when it comes to Mark)

Genre: Fluff, Smut and a tiny bit of angst

Warnings: Intended for readers 18+, oral (both male and female receiving), degradation, cunninglus, dry humping, thigh riding, choking, fingering, hand job, face fucking, face riding

Summary: The chief of your local fire department pays you your monthly visit to your company in order to do your hazard safety check. While the two begin to argue, neither of you realize that you are the only two left in the building. When you come to the conclusion that something is wrong, you and Mark decide to leave the building. However, because of how stubborn your are and not wanting to follow Mark’s direction of taking the stairs, you choose to take the elevator and to your surprise, he ends un joining you. Unfortunately, the elevator comes to a complete stop causing you to go in a frenzy. He tries his best to comfort you, but in those moments as he held you and tried to calm you down, he ends up confessing his feelings for you and the two of you end up having hot, steamy and extremely passionate elevator sex.

A/N: I’ve been wanting to write about firefighter Mark for the longest time (I think he’d be an amazing firefighter and if I’m remembering correctly, he stated in an interview that he always wanted to be a firefighter ugh firefighter Mark gives me UnHoLy ThOuGhTs I hope you enjoy anon!

“Ms.Y/n, the chief of the fire department is here for our monthly safety assessment. Should I send him in?” 

You released a frustrated sigh before nodding in agreement and quietly thanking your receptionist. After she had left your office, you returned back to your computer and continued to work on the presentation for the meeting you had with some of your clients. 

Being the CEO of one the most prestigious fashion companies in the country was a lot to handle sometimes, especially because you were only twenty-three years old and your job consisted of many responsibilities. However, you would never trade your job for anything else in the world. You weren’t upset with having to work on the proposal. No, you were upset with the thought of Mark Tuan being back at your company. 

Not only was he the chief of your district’s fire department, but he was the biggest pain in your ass. Every single time he’d come in to do his rounds of making sure your business was running smoothly and that the environment was safe enough for you and your employees to be working in, he never failed to do and say things that you were more than certain he knew would push your buttons. It’s as if he pointed out the tiniest mistakes to make you look unprofessional and that you weren’t taking care of your company. 

It started off with simple things such as how you had so many plugs on one extension chord which was bad for both the electricity bill and for the power chord. Apparently it could “cause a fire” and he would have to ding you on that small mistake. Then came the comment about how you hardly had enough fire extinguishers throughout the facility and claimed that you would regret it one day if a fire were to break out. He also found it stupid that the nearest fire alarm was in the back of the refrigerator and felt that it made no sense to have one if it was practically in hiding. You hated how involved he was in the choices you made and how you ran your company. 

All he had to do was check the damn place and rate you for it. He didn’t have to ridicule almost every single one of your decisions. You also hated that you thought extremely handsome and that you’ve daydreamed about him fucking you in the back of his fire truck or up against one of the poles in the firehouse. It didn’t help that he would flirt with you every so often but you had always thought he would make certain vulgar comments in order to piss you off. Unfortunately, it would only make things harder for you. Every time he bit his bottom lip in frustration when you would make a nasty remark towards him, you could only imagine how his teeth would feel nipping and sucking against the juncture your neck, on your thighs and your clit. 

You have always thought he had the prettiest lips and you wanted nothing more than to feel them against yours. He had quite the naughty mouth, you could only hope that one day he would put it to good use and bring you to the brink of insanity with that tongue of his. When you heard the not so soft pound on the door, you grunted before yelling for him to come in. 

“Well hello to you too. You’re obviously happy to see me.” You scoffed and rolled your eyes in irritation. He was wearing his firefighter uniform and it took every bone in your body to keep your mouth shut to prevent yourself from drooling at the sight. Everybody knew that most fire fighters were in great shape. It was required for them to work out at least five times a week in order to be able to run, climb up a ladder and carry up to sixty pounds if the situation called for it. Seeing how Mark’s biceps were close to ripping his shirt and the way his slacks hugged his thick thighs and ridiculously nice shaped ass made the tingling sensation between your legs grow even more painful the longer he was in your presence. 

“It’s always a pleasure Tuan. Now hurry up and begin your assessment you ass wipe. I’m extremely busy and the last thing I need is for you to make up some dumb reason for not passing me this month.” 

He gave you his signature smirk before walking towards your desk. “The reasons why I don’t pass you aren’t stupid y/n. You have a lot of fire hazards in this room alone. What more this entire facility? As chief of the fire department, it is my duty to make sure that everything is running smoothly here when it comes to anything that has to deal with fire safety.” 

You scoffed in disbelief. “Oh really? Well I’ve asked some of your colleagues come here to inspect the place and not one of them seem to think that my company is “hazardous” as you so claim it to be. If anything, both Jaebum and BamBam say it’s one of the safest work environments that they’ve ever had to check up on. Admit it, you just enjoy doing things to make me mad. It’s like you get off at the thought of me breaking the rules and getting in trouble for not taking precaution and going through the measures of “saving electricity” and other random shit like that. You’re an actual work of art Mark Tuan.” 

This earned you a spine tingling glare but you didn’t bat an eye at his gaze. If anything, it turned you on even more. “Whatever y/n. You can go ahead and continue thinking I’m out to get you when really I just care about your safety and the well-being of your employees. I’ll take my leave now and I’ll be out of your hair in no time.” 

You didn’t think your words had an effect on him in any way, but when you saw the way his shoulders slumped and how his whole playful demeanor changed in to a strict and cold one, you couldn’t help but feel bad. A few minutes after he left your office, your conscience and the guilt was eating away at you and you couldn’t help but want to go outside, find Mark and apologize for being so brash. He was just doing his job and although you might not agree with the way he did things, he was the fireman and he obviously knew more about fire safety than you did. However, right as you were about to walk out of your office, Mark was making his way back inside. 

“I was just about to come looking for you. Is something wrong?” His brows furrowed and he leaned up against the door. 

“Did you send all your employees home or something? Nobodies here.” You looked at him in disbelief as if he grew another head. What did he mean nobody was there? Where could they all have gone? You had a total of 150 employees working for your company and at least 25 that worked on your floor. Did something happen that they had to evacuate the building and if so, why didn’t they come and notify you? You followed Mark in to the hallway and you felt a weird feeling build up in your stomach at the sight of the empty workroom. 

“I didn’t hear a fire alarm go off, did you?” He shook his head in disagreement and began to head to the stairs. 

“Maybe it’s best for us to leave just in case something did happen.” You looked at him and frowned. 

“You have another thing coming for you if you think I’m going to be walking down 20 flights of stairs Mark Tuan. I’m taking the elevator. You have fun.” This earned you a sarcastic chuckle. 

“You can’t be serious right? If the building is on fire, or there is something going on right now that we’re not aware of, then we obviously have to take the stairs. Now is not the time to disagree with me y/n. Who the fuck takes an elevator in a situation like this? God gave you beauty but you lack brains. Why am I not surprised?” 

You were sure your cheeks were now red as a rose from both his compliment and your frustration. Deep down, you knew he was right, but neither of you could just assume something bad was going on. For all you knew, maybe they were on a different floor working on a project together. Wouldn’t at least one of your employees run in to your office if the building was on fire? 

“Suit yourself fire boy. I’m taking the elevator. Have fun going down all those stairs.” You made your way in to the elevator and right as it was about to close, Mark let out a frustrated sigh and joined you. 

“What do you think you’re doing? You said so yourself, taking an elevator is a dumb decision. You’re worried about me aren’t you?” 

He chided you. “No. I just didn’t want to take the stairs. You’re not the only one with a strenuous job you know. I put out fires for a living. If there’s another way to get down to the lobby rather than walking down all those flights of stairs, I’m not going to waste my energy if I don’t have to.” 

As much as he was getting on your nerves, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy being in such a tight and enclosed space with him. Unfortunately, as the two of you started to descend downwards, the elevator stopped. Your heart rate began to increase as your stomach sank and your nerves built up. 

“Mark, what’s going on?” He made his way towards the buttons and began pressing on all of the safety bells and the button to call in case of an emergency. 

“I told you we should’ve took the stairs, you never listen to me, now look at us. We’re stuck in here. If only you put your pride away and your hate for me to the side for once then maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation—hey. Y/n why are you crying? Shit—shit shit no please don’t. Fuck, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that I’m just frustrated. Please stop crying.” 

He pulled you in to his embrace and ran his fingers through your hair while softly rubbing on your back in attempts to get your cries to simmer down. After a few moments, your cries finally stopped but he continued to hold you in his arms while whispering comforting words against your neck. You were in so much shock that you failed to realize this was the first time you and Mark have ever been civil with one another. His arms felt so good wrapped around your waist and you loved the way it felt to rest your head on his chest. You could feel his heartbeat against your cheek and it was beating at such a rapid pace. You knew that yours was practically doing the same thing, but his was probably reacting to the nerves from the situation while yours was caused by how close your bodies were to one another. 

To your dismay, he pulled away from you but only so that he could attempt to call 911. When Mark began to dial the operator, you could feel your chest getting tight at the thought of being in such an enclosed space. You’ve always suffered from claustrophobia and it didn’t help that you were currently locked in with a man who you thought hated your entire existence. 

“Hi, yes the elevator shut down. No I’m in here with someone else. Yeah. Okay. We’re fine. Thirty minutes? Seriously? I understand. Thank you.” Once he got off the phone, he released an exhausted sigh and kicked the wall out of frustration. “Hey, you okay? You’re hyperventilating. Y/n—“ you didn’t even notice you were practically heaving at this point but you couldn’t help but feel as if the walls were closing in. 

“I—claustrophobia—can’t breathe—scared of tight spaces—I need to get out of here.” When Mark took a look at you and saw you huddling in a fetal position, he felt his heart sink. You’ve always held your head up high and had such a powerful presence. He’s never seen you so frail and weak before and he hated the sight of it. He quickly made his way towards you and sat on the ground while bringing you on top of his lap and rocking you back and forth in the hopes of calming you down. To both your surprises, he left a kiss on your forehead and placed his chin on your shoulder. 

“We’ll be out of here in no time okay? You’ll be fine. I’m here y/n. I’m going to take good care of you okay? Just relax.” The skin ship made you feel at ease and to be quite honest, Mark’s arms were the safest place you’ve ever been so far. He had a tight grip on you, as if he was afraid of losing you and you found yourself wrapping your arms around his neck and placing your head against the crook of it in order to be as close to him as possible. 

“I’m sorry. This is all my fault. You probably hate being stuck in here with me and I’m sure you had other things to do. I should’ve listened to you. I’m sorry for always being such a bitch when you only have the best in mind for me. I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here. Thank you. I really appreciate how patient you’re being with me and for all that you do to make sure my company is safe. You’re an amazing person Mark and an equally amazing chief.” 

With the way you were looking at him with a glimmer in your eyes, Mark felt as if his heart was about to combust. God your lips looked so kissable and although you were sweating from the lack of air in the elevator, you were a sight for sore eyes. Mark has always thought you were breathtakingly beautiful and with the way you would act so brash towards him turned him on even more. He loved how much of an independent woman you were. 

To Mark’s delight, the white blouse you were wearing just so happened to be see through and unbeknownst to you, your whole chest area was practically soaking and it was causing a problem in Mark’s pants. The tight and extremely short skirt you were currently wearing didn’t do much help either and since you were sitting on his cock, he couldn’t help but get turned on even more. Once you felt something hard pressed up against your ass, you were quick to get aroused at the sensation. Before you knew it, you found yourself turning around and bringing your hand down to his hard on. You made eye contact with him and began to palm him through his slacks earning yourself the most sexiest and breathy moan you’ve ever heard. 

“You know, for someone who hates me, you seem pretty excited to be alone with me.” He growled when you pulled your hand away and roughly yanked you on to his lap and began grinding you against his thigh. 

“I never hated you. If I’m being honest, I’ve always had feelings for you but I never did anything about it because you make it obvious that you hate me. If I hated you, I wouldn’t have a fucking painful ass boner right now because of you, would I?” You giggled before finally giving him what he wanted. As you unzipped his pants, you couldn’t help but bite your bottom lip at the way he was looking at you so seductively. 

“I like you a lot y/n. It’s actually embarrassing to admit just how much I like you. It might be even more than that, who knows? All I know is that I find my mind wandering to you even if I only see you once a month. I always look forward to the day I get to see you again and having you now—I can’t—I can’t believe this is happening right now.”

You brought your hand up to his face and cupped his cheek softly. “I like you too Mark. You piss me off and cause my blood pressure to rise, but I think you’re wonderful and extremely fucking sexy nonetheless.” 

“Wait y/n, before we go any further, I need to do something.” Right as you were going to ask him what he meant, his lips were on yours. The kiss the rough. All the months of built up anger and so called hatred for one another on top of the lust and need for each other was being released in to the kiss. His hands made their way down to your ass and he squeezed all but gently before slapping both cheeks. It was painful, but extremely pleasurable and you could feel your core tightening at the way he was treating you so animalistic. His lips continuously attacked yours and he licked your bottom lip asking for entrance. The feeling of his tongue against yours was indescribable. 

Every time you’ve witnessed him licking his lips before, you’d find yourself wanting to know how they would feel against your core, licking and slurping up all your juices. He pulled away in order to leave chaste kisses along your jaw and your neck and you took this time to finally relieve him of his constraints.

“Fuck y/n, I’ve always dreamt about the day I’d get to kiss these pretty pink lips of yours. You’re so fucking beautiful you know that? God, I can’t fathom in to words how much of an amazing person I think you are. Your lips are so addicting baby. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of kissing you. However, as much fun as I’m having, I really need to fuck you. Like right now.” 

His words went straight to your core and you didn’t need to feel yourself to know you were soaking wet. The two of you were dry humping each other, it wasn’t going to take long for the tingling sensation between your thighs to get set on fire. Once you freed him from his boxers, he let out a sigh of relief and as soon as you began to run your thumb against his slit and brought some of his pre cum in to your mouth, his eyes rolled back at how good it all felt. Your mouth practically watered at the size of him. He was huge and it was expected. He had a huge ego and he sure made up for it. You couldn’t help but want to tease him. 

You’ve been wanting to be in this situation from the day he walked in to your life, you weren’t going to go easy on him. As good as it felt having your dainty little fingers drag along the side of his cock, it was driving him crazy. He was about to complain about how slow you were going but buried his face in to your chest once you finally began to pump him. “Fuck y/n, just like that. Faster—please go faster—ah fuck-“ Since you were in control, you decided to mess around with him and practically changed the pace every five seconds. 

You’d pump him at a very fast pace only to slow it down and tease him at an agonizing and leisurely pace. He brought his fingers up to your cheek and turned your face so that you were making direct eye contact with him. 

“Keep teasing me baby and see where that gets you.” His raspy voice while he threatened you sent heat directly to your core. Your next few words didn’t surprise you and it caused Mark to groan in pleasure. 

“Why don’t you fuck this dirty mouth of mine then huh? I’ve been wanting to suck you off for as long as I can remember. You’ve been doing a great job of taking care of me while we’re in here now it’s my turn to take care of you.” You motioned for him to stand and he didn’t hesitate to get up off the ground and lean up against the wall. You crawled over towards him and wrapped your fingers around him before spitting against his painful looking erection in order to lubricate it. 

You pumped him for a few seconds and ran your thumb along his veins causing a few breathy moans to fall from his pretty lips. You kissed the tip before circling your tongue around it. The grunt that left his lips the longer you toyed around with him made you giggle but you knew he was having a hard time watching you simply tease him while his cock was aching for you to do more. 

“Y/n, fuck baby. Please stop teasing me. Your tongue feels so fucking good. Do something, anything. Suck me off already damnit—f—fuck. Mmmmmm—“ as much as you loved hearing Mark beg for you to do something, anything to help soothe the pain of his hardened cock, you couldn’t wait to have him shoved down your throat. You wrapped your fingers around the base of his cock and took as much of him in to your mouth as you possibly could. 

Since you felt as if he had enough of your teasing, you began to bob your head up and down along his shaft at a quick and steady pace. When you looked up at him and saw his head tilt back while he was quietly moaning and cursing under his breath got you to go harder. Seeing him writhing at your fingertips was such a mind blowing feeling. For all those months that he made snide comments about your work ethic, to the times where he nonchalantly called you pretty, you couldn’t believe that here you were with his long and thick member hitting the back of your throat. He brought his hands down to your hair and gently gripped it while guiding you back and forth. Your hands made their way down to his balls and you began to fondle them while grazing your teeth along the side of his dick. 

“Shit, shit—you’re taking my cock so well baby. Do you think I could face fuck you y/n? I know you can handle it princess.  Let me fuck that potty mouth of yours.” As Mark looked down at you and saw you smirk up at him so innocently while nodding in agreement, he could feel himself getting closer and closer to his end. There was no way you were real. How could someone look so adorable doing something so naughty, so dirty. Mark didn’t know how you felt, but after tonight he knew he needed to have you many more times. 

Before you allowed Mark to take control and face fuck you, you decided to show some more love you his balls and brought one in your mouth, licking, nipping and sucking on it while fondling with the other one. He brought his thumb right below your cheekbone and began grazing it softly. 

“You’re so beautiful y/n. So so pretty. Fuck, that feels so good—your mouth—ah fuck your mouth—“ you pulled away with a loud pop because you grew curious to hear what he was trying to say. 

“What about my mouth baby? Tell me how good it feels.” He looked at you with so much lust in his eyes before pulling your hair and shoving you back to his cock. Once you wrapped your lips back around him, he lowered his hands to the back of your head and began to thrust himself in your mouth. You wrapped your hands around his thighs and allowed him to set the pace. It was obvious that he was getting you back for teasing him earlier because now, he was showing your mouth no mercy. He was ramming himself inside the wet and warm walls of your mouth like his life depended on it. 

“Your mouth feels amazing. It’s like you were made to suck my dick y/n. Your mouth is so tight and so warm. I’m sure your pretty little cunt feels just as good and I can’t wait to be balls deep inside of you. Look at you, you dirty little slut. My cock looks so good down this pretty little throat. How does it feel for you? Do you enjoy being face fucked by me y/n? All those dirty little fantasies of yours are coming true huh?” You moaned against him at the sound of his lewd comments and the vibrations went straight to his length. You knew he was closed by the way he was tensing up around you and you took his reactions as a sign to go faster. 

“Fuck y/n, you’re actually going to be the death of me you know that? I’m going to cum—“ you beamed up at him and continued your ministrations. “Fuck, fuck, fuck—“ before you knew it, he was releasing his load in to your mouth and you milked him for all he was worth. His warm, creamy liquid felt good going down as your swallowed him up entirely. 

“Holy shit y/n, if I knew you’d give me the suck of my life I would’ve gotten us in this situation earlier. You did so well my baby girl. Ugh, I can’t wait to be inside of you. But first, I can’t help but be a little curious.” As you were about to ask him what he meant, his fingers made their way up in to your skirt and he dragged them against your panties. “You’re soaking wet y/n. All because you sucked me off? I can’t wait to see how your cunt will take me. You’re practically an ocean y/n. Are you even real?” 

You giggled against his chest and pulled him down in order to steal a chaste kiss from the corner of his lips. “I can’t believe you’re only wearing panties under this skirt. It’s like you want to be punished.” He sat back down and pulled you on to his lap so that your back was against his chest and your ass was pressed up against his crotch. He wrapped one of his arms around your waist as his free hand made it’s way down to your core. 

To your dismay, he began to touch you everywhere but where you needed him the most. His fingers began to trace patterns along the inside of your thighs and all you could do was lean your head back against his chest and bite down on your lip to prevent yourself from begging. You knew he wanted to get back at you from teasing him earlier but unlike Mark, you were never one to give in to easily. 

“Mark—“ he hummed against your cheek in curiosity. 

“Yes baby? Use your words.” You began to wiggle around and rub your ass against his cock before guiding his hand to your entrance. 

“We don’t have enough time for you to tease me. They could open the doors now for all you know and people will walk in on us looking like this.” He snickered before finally giving you what you want.

 “Don’t lie y/n, the idea of someone walking in here and seeing me fuck your brains out excites you doesn’t it? I’m sure exhibitionism is probably a kink of yours because fuck, the idea of service men walking in on us fucking is driving me crazy.” He pulled down your underwear and dragged his finger back and forth along your slit earning himself a few moans. He slipped in one finger and you found yourself humming gently in contentment. “Shit y/n, you’re so tight.”

He added another finger inside and as much as you didn’t want to be vocal about how it felt in fear of someone actually being outside of the elevator doors and listening to you sing for Mark, you couldn’t help but release a cry from pleasure. Mark began to finger you roughly and he played with your swollen nub to rile you up some more. As you watched him shove his digits back and forth in to your wet folds, you brought your head back and placed it against his chest. 

“Mmmmm, so good Mark. Your fingers feel so good. Please go faster.” He giggled and to your dismay, he pulled away completely. “Mark—“ he stole a sweet kiss from your lips before bringing his two fingers in to his mouth and sucking it clean of your essence. The sight made you practically drool. 

“You taste amazing princess. Mind if I get a taste straight from the source?” You were quick you nod your head in agreement causing Mark’s laugh to fill up the tiny space at how eager you were to have him go down on you. He took a few moments to decide how he’d go about eating you out and told you to place your legs on both side of his shoulders. He gripped at your ass before bringing his face up against your heat. You placed your hands up against the walls and couldn’t help but grind yourself along his tongue. 

He placed a chaste kiss against your clit and playfully brought it in between his teeth before licking and sucking on it. His mouth was warm against your pussy and the slurping sounds that he made as he began to lick and delve his tongue in between your folds was such a overwhelming feeling. He brought his fingers up to your clit and shoved both of them inside, roughly pumping them in to your cunt while eating you out like a man starved. The feeling of him moaning and humming against your core caused the coil in your stomach to tighten the longer you continued to ride his face. 

“You look so pretty riding my face, I can’t wait to see you look bouncing against my cock. Are you almost there y/n?” You nodded, your face full of both exhaustion yet desire. 

“I’m close—so close. Your fingers and your tongue are fucking me so well. Mmm—just like that—I’m coming Mark.” You saw white once you released yourself in to his mouth and he lapped up all of your juices while leaving soft kisses all around your pussy. When he was done, he pulled you off of him and stood up. 

“You taste so good. I could eat you out for hours but now—I really need to be inside of you. We’ll test how long it takes for you to get numb from me eating you out another time okay? I love being in between these luscious this of yours. These would be the perfect kind of earmuffs to wear back at the firehouse—ow y/n what was that for?” 

You playfully shoved his shoulder and began to take your top off but he stopped you. “As much as I want nothing more than to have your beautiful tits on display and watch them bounce as I drill myself in to you, I don’t want anyone else but me seeing you like this. But know this y/n, I plan on having you many times, in multiple ways once we get out of here. Well, if you allow me to. I want nothing more than to have you like this as much as I can. You drive me crazy baby.” 

The idea of having sex with Mark again sent chills to your spine. He had yet to penetrate you yet you knew you already wanted more. Not only did your body craved him, but your mind and heart did too. 

“Ah shit, I don’t have a condom.” He groaned in disappointment but you brought your lips up to his ear and sucked on the skin right below it. 

“I’m on the pill if that works for you.” The growl that came from the back of his throat answered your question and you found yourself being shoved up against the wall. The idea of getting to fuck you raw and releasing his seed inside of you sent shivers down Mark’s spine. His head was practically spinning. He began to attack your neck with soft, gentle kissing while caressing the skin right about your hip bone. 

After showing love to the juncture of your neck for a few moments, Mark decided he could no longer take the foreplay no matter how much he loved making his mark on you. Your skin was soft under his touch and everything about that moment was making him impatient. He needed to be inside of you. He brought his cock up to your entrance and dragged it along your folds causing the both of you to moan in unison at the sensation. He connected your lips together and kissed you roughly before bringing himself inside of you.

You weren’t one to have sex so often, so the feeling of him inside of you was uncomfortable. Especially because of the size of his girth. The stretch was foreign to you, but you knew he was trying his best to take your mind off of the pain with the way he was molding his lips against yours. However, the feeling of him stretching you out caused the both of you to sigh in contentment. 

“Holy shit y/n, you feel so good. So warm. So tight. Are you okay? Does it hurt?” You shook your head and placed a chaste kiss on his jaw. 

“I’m fine. You can move Mark. I’m sure it’s driving you crazy having to stay still. I want it—need it too. I trust you.” Once he heard you allow him permission to move, he took no time picking up the pace and thrusted in to you like a jackhammer. His grip on your hips was rough and he hoisted you up so that he could wrap your legs around his waist and fill you up deeper. The feeling of the tip of his cock hitting your cervix while his balls rammed against your abdomen sent your eyes rolling to the back of your head. He lowered his hands to your ass and began to knead gently while he continued bottoming in and out of you. You were practically bouncing on him at this point and it only made you want more if it was even possible.

The sound of skin on skin slapping echoed throughout the enclosed space and you could feel both his sweat and your sweat building up causing the atmosphere to get hotter than it already was. His kisses that started off slow and sensual, were now sloppy and wet as he continued his movements ramming himself inside of you and filling up your cunt to the hilt. Breathy moans and constant cries of pleasure fell from both of your lips and it felt as if your whole body was on fire. 

“You’re going to be the death of me y/n. You know that? Fuck—this is all too much for me.” You looked down at him in admiration and ran your fingers through his hair as he increased both the speed and the force against your core. To your confusion, the handsome man in front of you let out a soft giggle out of no where and you brought your fingers down to his chin and lifted it up to make eye contact with him. 

“What’s so funny?” He stole a quick kiss from you before speaking up. 

“You’re so fucking hot y/n. I think it’s my duty as chief fire fighter to put your fire out with my hose and leave you soaking wet.” The sarcastic groan of disgust that fell from your lips caused him to laugh even more. 

“Seriously Mark? That was terrible. I literally got dry by the sound of that.” He frowned against your cheek before grumbling. 

“I thought it was good. Whatever. You’re boring.” You snickered at his now shifted mood and began to suck on his jaw. 

“And you’re bad with timing but you’re also very cute so I’ll let this one slide. Fuck me now, save the pick up lines for later.” He brought his hand down to your pussy and began to flick and play with your clit while continuing his thrusts and you were sure you could come right there by how intense it all felt. As corny as his pickup line was, he had a point. Your body felt like it was on fire and Mark was the only one who could put it out. His began to draw circles against your clit with his thumb and only quickened his pace when moans started falling from your lips. 

“M—Mark.” He was about to ask you what you wanted but you reached for his hand and brought it up to your neck. You were well aware that his fingers were magical. They felt so good dragging along your skin and buried deep inside of you. You craved to feel it wrapped around your neck, cutting off some of your air supply. His breath hitched when he came to the realization that you wanted him to choke you and he didn’t hesitate to gently take hold on your neck. He connected your lips together and your tongues began to roughly clash against each other. To your dismay, he pulled his fingers away from your cunt but before he allowed you to complain from the loss, his hand made it’s way in to your blouse and brought it in to your bra. 

He took one of your breasts in his hand and began to massage it gently while bringing your nipple in between his fingers and twisting at your nub. You could feel your second orgasm building quite quickly at how good this all felt. His erotic grunts, breathy groans and animalistic growls against your lips made it well aware to you that he was on the brink of insanity just as much as you were. 

“Tell me you’re close. Please tell me you’re close. I won’t last much longer.” It was true. Your slick, velvety walls were milking him for all that he had. The feeling of you clenching around him the longer he continued to play with your breasts and squeeze your pressure points with his fingers made him practically see stars. All too soon, you felt yourself being filled up entirely with his warm and creamy liquid and the sensation caused you to follow him not too long afterwards. He began to pant against your chest and buried his head between your clothed breasts. As the two of you were slowly coming down from your highs, both of your rapid breaths simmered down after a few moments however, he stayed inside of you for a while and you made it known how much you loved the feeling of him staying inside of you. 

He pulled away from your breasts and looked at you adoringly before reconnecting your lips together. “You’re one hell of a woman y/n. I can’t get over how marvelous you are. That was—wow—I don’t even have the words to describe just how mind blowing that all was. As much as I love the feeling of being inside of you, I think it’s best if we get cleaned up here before they open up the doors and see our fucked out states. You look really fucking lethal after sex by the way. So fucking sexy.” 

He brought you from off of his waist and pulled himself out of your cunt causing you to whine. He reached for your panties and your skirt and helped you in to them before reaching for his clothing. Once the two of you were decent, he brought some hair that fell in the front of your face and placed it behind your ear. Mark made his way back to the ground and reached out at your waist in order to pull you on to his thigh. You straddled his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck while resting your head against his chest. The sound of how quick his heart was racing never failed to bring a smile to your face. 

You left soft kisses against his neck and beamed up at him while he dragged his fingers along your thigh. “I’m head over heels for you princess. If you didn’t already, now you know. You’re mine y/n.” He nibbled softly on your earlobe before reaching out to play with your fingers. The two of you sat in silence but it was a peaceful kind of silence that spoke volumes. Although you hated being in such a tight and compact area, being wrapped in Mark’s embrace as he whispered sweet nothings in your ear made your heart flutter. Just being with him made you take your mind off of the not so ideal situation you both were in. For the time being, the two of you began get to learn a little more about each other and you were upset with yourself for letting your negative feelings for Mark get in the way of getting to know him as a person and not the asshole fire captain you painted him out to be. 

Less than fifteen minutes later, a bell sounded off in the elevator and before you knew it, the doors were being opened. There were a few fire fighters and a couple of police officers that were standing outside and they all looked relieved to see that the two of you were just fine. Mark abruptly stood up and reached for your hand while intertwining your fingers together. 

“Captain are you alright? Apparently there was a fire in the cafeteria that caused the circuit shortage—y’all fucked didn’t you? It wreaks of sex in here—ow!” Mark playfully slapped the back of his subordinate’s head before guiding you away from everybody. 

“I’m calling it a day BamBam. Make sure everyone got out safely and check all the floors to make sure that no one else is stuck in here.” BamBam wiggled his brows and sent him a cheeky wink, having an idea of what Mark had planned for the rest of the afternoon. The chief fireman brought you back to your office in order for you to gather your things and he helped you carry your things as he led you towards the stairs. 

“You know y/n, I don’t mind coming to do your hazard safety check more often if it means ending it in hours of steamy and extremely passionate sex. I’ve pictured taking you up against your desk on multiple occasions while looking at the beautiful view and I’m not talking about the cityscape my love.” Heat rushed to your cheeks at what he was implying. He playfully smacked your ass before bringing your hand up to his lips and placing a chaste kiss behind it. 

“Shall we take this back to my place? I can make us some dinner, we can put on a movie and then I’ll blow your back out till the sun rises. How does that sound?” You hummed in excitement at his offer. 

“As long as you don’t kill the mood with your cheesy pick up lines babe. That was embarrassing.” 

He scoffed and stopped his movement all together. “But I had a good one about you sliding down my pole—baby wait! Okay fine I’ll stop! Get back here y/n! Just wait till I get my hands on you, I have no intentions of letting go.”

[lu-undy]

Chapter 60 - SBT

Here it is!

"Ugh…"

Mundy opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was the infinite blue sky. At first, he thought he had been sleeping on his van's rooftop. Hold on. Why did it smell of a fire…? 

Mundy rolled on his side and the next thing he saw was his father's glasses on the orange ground of the desert. 

"Argh, bugger…" 

As his body woke up, he realised that he was lying on the ground itself. He blinked and looked around. 

What the hell am I doing on the ground? 

He thought as he tried to gather his memories to try and understand what led him to land there. He pushed himself to all four. 

"Argh?!" He hissed. One of his arms hurt badly. He raised his eyes and the view made his insides twitch. 

"What…?"

Corpses of the guards he was trying to shoot from the window. The window? What window? The hangar was down and being consumed by the last and shy flames. 

"Bugger!" Mundy's eyes snapped wide. "Lu'?! LU'!?" 

He jumped to his feet and ran towards the rubbles of the places, yelling and sobbing as he limped awkwardly. Everything hurt in his body.

"Lu'?! Lucien?! Where are you, Lu'?! Lu', talk to me! Lu'?!" 

He started digging through the stones like a mad man, with only one arm, randomly, blinded by everything but only seeing his lover. 

"Mundy! Is that you?!"

A hand powerfully grabbed his collar from behind and pulled him up. 

"Maurice?! What the hell are you doing here?" 

"What are you talking about? You called for us saying there had been an explosion and a fire!" 

Mundy looked behind Maurice's shoulder and saw the fire brigade, an ambulance and police cars. He hadn't seen them or heard them coming. 

"Maurice, he's somewhere here, help me find him please!" 

"Mundy." Maurice held him back from his shoulder. 

"Argh! Don't stand around like a bloody idiot! Help me!"

"Mundy." 

"He is somewhere! He can't be no where so he has to be somewhere, I mean it stands to reason, doesn't it?!" Mundy threw bits of bricks here and there until Maurice pulled him back strongly. 

"Let the fire brigade and the police do their job, and let me take you to an ambulance, you are bruised beyond what I could recognise… Thank God I heard your voice."

"But we can't leave him here! He's here! I left him here! He is somewhere!" 

"Mundy!" Maurice slammed his hands left and right on Mundy's cheeks and looked him straight in the eye. "Let them search for him, you need to tend to your wounds!" 

Mundy was raising distraught, almost childish eyes to Maurice who sighed. 

"Mundy, I did tell you back in my place."

"No!"

"I did warn you that this would happen." 

"No! He's there!" Mundy sobbed as he tried to wiggle away from Maurice's arms. "Let me find him! Lu'! Lu', please! LU'!"

The firemen started to deal with the last flames, and Maurice and a few beggars carried Mundy away to an ambulance. The poor man couldn't walk on his own two feet. 

The ambulance crew started cleaning Mundy's wounds that he didn't feel anyway and each time a fireman would pass by, the Aussie would ask. 

"Found him?" 

And he would receive the same answer: head lowered and shaken. 

"No, no, no, I promised! I promised I'd keep him safe! I promised we'd go through this together and we'd go and - argh, FUCK!"

"Sir, look, you have at least a broken arm, we need to take you to a hospital." A first helper explained. 

"You take me nowhere before we find him!"

"Sir, look down at your arm, you can't remain like this or you might damage more than just your tissue." 

"Don't care, I need him, I don't need my stupid arm, I need him!" Mundy tried to stand up and push the ambulance crew away but he felt something sting his arm and his legs went to jelly as his eyelids fell on his eyes…

-- A day later --  

Muffled noises. What was it? Ah, a conversation. Who was talking? Were they talking to him? 

Mundy opened his eyes slowly and blinked.

"Oh, he has woken up." 

"Ah, perfect. Can we have a moment please, nurse?" 

"Of course." 

Maurice nodded and the lady in the white uniform left the room. 

"Where…?" Mundy started as Maurice approached his bed. 

"The hospital. They transported you here and you got some surgery done to your arm. It was broken, now it is in a cast." Maurice explained. "How do you feel?" 

"Weird. Tired. Can't move much." 

"Do you remember what happened?" 

"Not really… Uh… I remember bits."

"Go ahead." Maurice sat on the chair next to the bed. 

"Right… We were off to kill Duchemin with Lu'."

"I can confirm Duchemin is dead, Mundy. We found his carbonised remnants under the rubble." 

"Oh, Christ…" Mundy gagged. 

"Are you alright?" 

"I… We tortured him with Lu'... I did disgusting stuff to him… When I realised what I did, I threw up in a corner of the hangar. Mate, it was horrible."

Maurice frowned. 

"You? You tortured a man?" He asked, astounded.

Mundy sighed and looked away. 

"Yeah… Not proud of it. But he had to pay." 

"I am not judging you, Mundy. I am just surprised, but I understand."

"Yeah… We did horrible stuff to him, Lu' and I, but at some point his guards were lookin' for him of course. Lu' told me to go upstairs and shoot the guards from above, through a window. He… Have you found him?" Mundy looked at Maurice with pleading eyes. 

"We have found this." Maurice put a hand in his pocket and retrieved a broken watch and a butterfly blade. "And your stuff is on the table next to you."

Mundy looked on the side and saw his watch, his father's glasses and…

"The cigs' case." He said. "Bloody hell…"

"We found someone…" Maurice started. "He was wearing a suit and a mask, not far from Duchemin." 

"Bloody hell…" Mundy closed his eyes and frowned. He felt it coming and just let it go. The tears flowed down. "Bloody hell…" 

"I am sorry, Mundy." 

"I knew he should have come with me, I had told him to. I didn't want to go away from him. I told him… Lu'... Fucking hell, I can't even cry as much as I want… Everything hurts and I can't cry…"

Maurice put a hand on Mundy's shoulder. 

"I understand that you liked each other quite a lot." 

"I… Mate… I…"

"I know. He loved you too. He was head over heels for you." 

Mundy sniffed and more water flowed from his eyes. 

"And that's why he made arrangements before he went with you to get Duchemin."

"What…?"

"When I had a chat with you, alone, and asked you to send him to me, we discussed things. We both knew that he was going to his end and he wanted me to take care of what would happen to his belongings." 

"Wait…" Mundy sniffed. "He knew he was-?"

"Oui. He was convinced and he knew that whatever you would try to help, you would not succeed. No one escapes the secret services for long. Duchemin managed it for ten years and that's as long as it can get."

"We could have tried at least and get whatever time we could." 

"Non. He did not want it." Maurice answered and Mundy's heart shattered in his insides. 

"What?" His voice broke.

"Not that he didn't want to spend time with you, but he didn't want you to be an accomplice to his escape, because otherwise, you would be held accountable for it in the eyes of the law."

"Bullshit. I don't care about all that! I told him, I told him I didn't care if I died that day, he has stuff to take care of, he's got Pearl, his kitten, he's got-"

"Speaking of…" Maurice said and he opened his ragged coat wide. He dived a hand in one of the pockets and fished out a white ball of fluff that hissed left and right. 

"Pearl?!"

Maurice delicately put her on Mundy's chest and when the kitten realised it was him, she went straight for the crook of his neck and curled in a ball of fur there, mewling repeatedly. 

"If anyone asks, I did not bring her." Maurice answered. "Pets are not exactly welcome in a hospital." 

"Baby kitty… Hey…?" 

"L asked me to give her to you. He wanted you to take care of her."

"Fuck…" Mundy was sent crying again and soon, the kitten joined him in his cries. 

"He also leaves everything he has to you. He asked me to tell you that it was not much, but he hoped that you could remember him through a few things." 

Mundy's tears continued to flow between two sniffs. A waterfall. 

"I hate myself… It happened twice now… I should have died with him… I don't want to live this shit life anymore… I mean…"

"You have to take care of the cat." Maurice answered. "It was one of his requests." 

"Fuckin' hell…" 

"I have all his belongings, and whenever you come out of the hospital, you can come and take them. Same for your van, it is with me."

Mundy's breath was erratic through the cries. 

"I am sorry, Mundy. I truly am." 

"What am I gonna do now?" He desperately asked.

"Whatever you choose, but I would recommend to not stay idle for too long. Find something you like and do it."

"I wanted to live with him…" 

Perle licked his hair on his temple as he cried and cried. 

"I am sorry Mundy. He told you this would happen, I told you this would happen. I understand that you thought you and him could get out of it, but no, he couldn't ever have gone out of the French secret services radars."

Mundy shut his eyes and let the tears flow. Maurice fell silent for a moment. 

"He wanted his body to be buried here." The beggar went on.

"Here?" 

"He said to me that France had brought nothing else but problems to him, especially as of late. And he wanted to be close to you. He had hoped you could visit him from time to time." 

"Yeah… I mean… ugh…" Mundy tried to sit up and Maurice helped him. 

"There." 

"Thanks, mate. But yeah, of course I'll… Bugger I can't stop…" 

More tears streamed down his cheeks. 

"I understand. I will organise something for him. It won't be as grand as a ceremony back in the Ministry, but we cannot possibly bury him without paying our respects." 

"Right… Thanks…" 

"It will take place in two days. I talked to the doctors and they say you should be out by then. Of course you are more than welcome to come."

"Yeah." 

Perle laid on his lap and looked up at Mundy, with her big round eyes. 

"I shall leave you to rest now, you need it." Maurice put the broken watch on top of the cigarette case. "I will see you in two days." 

"Yeah. Oh, uh, Maurice?" 

"Oui?" 

"Thanks. For everything." 

"It is the least I could do." He said and left the hospital room. 

"Meow?" 

"I'm sorry, kitty cat… Yer dad… He…" Mundy sniffed and as Maurice was walking away through the corridor, he heard the echo of a scream, interspersed with sobs. 

He sighed and exited the hospital, his heart in his throat.

"Meow?" 

She looked up at the Aussie who now realised his left arm was in a cast. He took Perle in one hand and squeezed her tight against his chest as he wringed any kind of water left in his body out through his eyes. He lied down and buried himself under the blanket. 

"Sir, are you alright?" A nurse entered the room.

"Leave me alone!" 

"Sir-"

"Leave me! Leave me like everyone else in my life! Leave me in peace!" He barked from under the blanket and he heard her footstep as she walked away. 

A few moments later, a man's voice interrupted Mundy's sobs. 

"Sir, I have to check up on your vital signs and arm."

"Bugger off." 

"If everything is in order, you may leave." 

Mundy sighed and removed the blanket from him. 

Perle started hissing at the man in the white labcoat. 

"It's ok, kitty cat. He's nice." 

"Pets aren't allowed here." 

"You throw her out and I throw myself out." Mundy answered menacingly. 

The doctor sighed. 

"Sit up, please." 

He ran the checks he needed: heartbeat, blood pressure, and got him to get an x-ray for his arm. When all was finished and carefully analysed, the doctor announced that Mundy could get back home. He gave him instructions and medication for his arm and insisted that he should follow all of that if he wanted to heal. 

The Aussie stood up and a nurse tried to help him dress up. Perle, who was sitting on the bed, hissed at her.

"Please…" Mundy raised his hand to ask her to leave, and she did. 

He got dressed up and put Perle on his shoulder. He took his watch and tossed it in the bin before grabbing Lucien's and putting it on. He wore his father's glasses and put Lucien's blade in one of his pockets.

"Right, let's go, kitty." 

Mundy walked out of the hospital, an arm wrapped up with a scarf as it was in a cast. He walked to the nearest bus stop and waited amongst people. 

Perle hissed at anyone who dared look at her Dad. 

"It's ok, baby…" He muttered under his breath until the bus came. He slipped in and looked at the streets rolling before his eyes. 

Nothing made sense. 

Twenty-four hours before, Lu' was still there, by his side. He could look at him, he could hear him. And he had kissed his lips…

Mundy tightened his grip on the pole in the bus and looked away, through the opposite window. He sighed. 

Perle, who was perched on his shoulder, came closer to his neck and brushed herself on him as she purred. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Mundy turned his head and kissed her softly and repeatedly.

"Love you, baby." He whispered.

"Meow…" She answered.

And the bus travelled deeper and deeper in the city, finally reaching somewhere relatively close to Maurice's neighbourhood.

Mundy came off of the bus and went for Maurice's hideout. He headed to one of the houses but got stopped on his way there. 

"Mundy." 

"Hey, Maurice. You're not home?" 

"I was expecting you." 

"Ah, ok." 

"Here, the keys to your van. There she is, waiting for you." Maurice pointed in the street at the place where Mundy usually parked. 

"Thanks, mate." 

"We loaded L's belongings at the back. He didn't have much, you'll see."

"Thanks."

"And I suggest you stay here for the night. You can't drive."

"Yeah… I'll probably do that." Mundy answered and headed for the van. 

"Good night, Mundy."

"Hm." He mumbled back as he crossed the street. 

Mundy arrived at his van's backdoor and unlocked it. It sadly creaked open and the Aussie saw the suitcase and couple of bags on the floor that weren't there before. 

Lu's stuff. 

He closed the door and switched on the light. 

"Meow?"

"Let's have a look, yeah."

Mundy sat on the floor and started to explore his lover's clothes. His lover? 

His ex-lover… 

He found all the suits, the casual ones and the ones he used to sing at the Queen Victoria with. Mundy smelt one. It still bore his perfume.

"Bloody hell…" He buried his head in it as if it was Lucien's chest itself.

"Meow?" 

"Here, smell this." 

He put the suit on the floor and Perle went straight to one of the pockets. She curled inside it and her fluffy head popped out of it. 

"Meow?" 

"Yer Papa… He's… gone."

"Meow?" 

Mundy continued to unpack Lucien's clothes. 

"Yeah, gone. And he won't come back." 

"Meow?!" She pulled her ears down sadly and lowered her head. 

"Nah, he didn't abandon you. He didn't abandon anyone. He… He did what he thought was best to protect you, baby cat." 

"Meow?" 

"Why? I don't know…" 

Mundy's valid hand reached the bottom of the first bag and he reached a little bag of some sort. He took it out and put it between his open legs. He opened the zipper and his eyebrows jumped. 

It was his toiletries: his toothbrush, his shaving foam, his after shave and gosh, his perfume! 

Mundy got it out and opened it. He sprayed it in the room and as the smell hit him, tears beaded in his eyes.

"Meow!" Perle slipped out of the jacket pocket and smelt the air. When the droplets of perfume fell down on her, she sneezed repeatedly, making Mundy smile between his tears. 

"C'mon, baby, let's go to sleep."

"Meow?" 

"Yeah, let's not open everything at once." 

"Meow." She curled back in the jacket pocket. 

"C'mon, let's go to bed."

"Meow!" She refused to exit her nest and Mundy sighed. 

"Right, you can stay here. I'll sleep in the bed." 

He removed his clothes and put on an old tee-shirt and pair of shorts before climbing his ladder clumsily, as his arm in the cast wasn't handy. When he finally reached his bed, he rolled in the blanket and closed his eyes. 

"Meow?" 

Mundy didn't answer. 

"Meow?" 

"What?" 

"Meow…" 

"You wanna come up here?" 

"Meow." She agreed. 

"Christ sake's, baby, you should have said before, it's hell comin' up and down from bed with my arm like this…" Mundy carefully climbed the ladder down. He went to scoop Perle out of the vest jacket but she planted her claws and little fangs in the jacket. 

"You don't wanna let go of it? Right…" 

Mundy took the jacket with Perle in the pocket between his teeth as he climbed the bed again. Once he was up, he lied down and hugged the kitten and the vest. 

Yeah, the kitten was right, that's much better. Now, he could smell Lucien as he drifted off to sleep.

[iclimbtreestofeelalive]

i set a reminder at like noon, forgot about it, it just buzzed and said: trees adhd pyromaniac? Ask him?

So ye, tell us please

alrighty, listen up y’all, because i’m about to spin y’all a yarn about the time set my yard ablaze at the tender age of eight or nine years old.

all y’all who’ve been here a while will know that 1) i am a southern hillbilly boy,  2) i have rip-roaring adhd, and  3) my childhood consisted of my mother struggling to teach me math and history, then locking me outside for hours at a time so that i didn’t actively tear the house apart looking for things that interested me. 

at the age of six i could undo any childproof lock put in front of me, frontwards or backwards. when i was four or five, i regularly kicked the screen out of my windows, broke into the neighbor’s house, and played with the neighbor kid (poor angelica didn’t know how this grubby toddler kept getting into her house, but she was very kind and let me play with her barbies.) my poor parents were still in their Early Twenties when they were forced to deal with their eldest child being far more energetic and Terrible than any of the parenting books said i would be. i was, actually, the worst.

so. age eight. my mother sent me outside around noon because i had done some terrible thing or another. i went out into the hot august tennessee sun. we had a fairly big yard that was enclosed on all sides by a huge stretch of woods. we had a garden, but for the most part, it was all tall, dry grass. we had a cinderblock firepit that my father had built, and for about three feet in every direction, the grass was cut short so nothing could catch fire. the night before this incident, my dad had started a fire and let it burn down.

i was a highly resourceful kid. i also loved fire, probably more than was healthy. i had the Brilliant Idea that i would start a fire and keep it going until my dad got home from work so that he would be Proud Of Me! for Keeping A Fire Going!! because i craved validation and also arson.

so i did what any eight-year-old would do, and carefully blew the ashes off of the top of the firepit. just as i’d suspected, there were still a few embers left in the bottom of the pit from the fire last night. i gathered and twisted bundles of dry grass with my tiny grubby hands, got a few small sticks, and set up a fire the way i’d seen my dad do it. it was windy that day, but i was determined. i blew on the fire with my tiny baby lungs, and within minutes, i had a pretty big fire going in the pit.

my mother was still inside (they hadn’t given me access to the lighters, after all, so they figured i’d be fine.) so they weren’t there to see me, a scrawny little tanned and freckled child, dutifully keeping this fire going by going through the woods and finding fallen trees to break branches off of to bring back to the firepit (again, tennessee, tornado capital of america. plenty of fallen trees to go around.)

after about two hours of this, something happened. i’d been poking the fire around to keep it going, and one of the logs was leaning just barely over the top of the cinderblocks. this actually would’ve been fine, since the grass was cut around the cinderblocks. but my tiny little impulsive brain. decided that the Absolute Best Way to get this log back into the fire would be to hit it as hard as i could with a stick.

the log broke. the tip of it, still burning, flew out over the top of the cinderblocks, straight into a patch of grass. i was barefoot (hillbilly child) so i couldn’t step on it to put it out. i ran inside to get my mother, who had to deal with several things in quick succession.

1) they had to decipher my frantic yelling, during which they learned that i had SOMEHOW started a giant fire and that

2) the yard was now on fire.

they looked outside. and saw the entire yard on fire, quickly spreading towards the forest.

my mother (always good in a crisis) told me to get my sisters inside, wet some sheets, and call 911. i ran my sisters inside, and in a brilliant moment of critical thinking, i told them to get in the bathtub and run the water. (bathtub = water = fire cant get them). i wet several sheets for my mother to use to FORCIBLY BEAT BACK THE FIRE. next should have been to call 911.

HOWEVER! this entire fiasco happened to fall right in the middle of a period in my life where i was Deathly Afraid of talking on the phone. so i grabbed the phone. dialed 911. and ran it up to my mother, who was still, i remind you, BEATING THE FIRE WITH WET BLANKETS.  they were. very angry. but they had literally no choice but to call the fire department themselves.  i ran inside, because i had decided that if wet blankets = good,, Lots Of Wet Blankets = Very Good. so i dumped every blanket we owned into the tub,, WITH MY LITTLE SISTERS, and kept running them outside.

the fire department eventually arrived, but i didn’t actually see them put out the fire (too busy wetting blankets). i did, however, get called into the room by my mother. the main fireman, this giant bearded guy, had asked to see who had started the fire. and he was greeted by this grubby, tiny, barefoot little freckled kid, with arms like spaghetti noodles and a frighteningly exhilarated look on his face. he told me not to burn down the yard again. i promised that i wouldn’t.

when my dad finally got home, he was not, in fact, proud of me for keeping the fire going. which was, to be honest, the worst part of the day. he did congratulate me for knowing how to start a fire, though, which my mom yelled at him for.

[a-crimson-lion]

The Moms Of BNHA

[Warning: Spoilers and Potentially Triggering Opinions follow. You've been warned.]

[Also: Long Post.]

So, I've been thinking about this when I should be doing, homework (lol), but... can we talk about a certain trio of moms in BNHA?

Inko Midoriya

Inko is probably the least problematic mom I'll be talking about today. Does that make her perfect? Hell no! But she tries so hard for Izuku, and it shows. Even if she doesn't support Izuku's dreams of heroism once he's diagnosed as Quirkless, it's clear that she supported him in any other way she could think of. She's also worried about his well being, as we see after the mall confrontation and the aftermath of Kamino. And when she sees Izuku's dreams finally becoming a possibility after a lifetime of doubt, she apologizes, fully supporting Izuku's choice in life from there on out. Sure, after Kamino she considers pulling Izuku out of UA, but that's not from a place of selfishness or malice. It's out of worry. She wants her son to be happy, but she also wants him to be safe.

Honestly, I can't think of any legitimate reason to full on hate her...

Rei Todoroki

So Rei... gosh where do I begin?

She's definitely more problematic than Inko, or rather, her situation is. People tend to get on her case because she was apparently just as abusive to Shoto as Endeavor was, and-

Can... can we talk about this for a moment?

I understand that what Rei Todoroki did was wrong, end of discussion. I understand what Rei did only worsened the circumstances for her family, her son, and herself. I understand that while her institutionalization wasn't fair, it was likely for the best given her state of mind. But to put the blame squarely and soley on Rei's shoulders?

That's where I draw the line.

I only say this with the experience of a novice, but from personal experience, most people don't just randomly lash out spontaneously. In my case, it's usually a series of offenses (minor or major) that I refuse to respond to because I feel like that will make me a bad person, but that residual rage? It builds up. Sometimes you can let it out in minor spurts, but it's not enough. One day, one way or another, it will boil over. All that anger, all that frustration, all that rage will combust. You won't be able to stop it once it starts. You'll feel tense. You'll punch things, not caring whether you'll break them or they'll break you. When you get tired of that, you'll storm off into your room and angrily sob into your pillows, or yell/growl... or both. And when it's finally over, you'll still feel like crap. And it'll be a long while before it feels like you or anyone else can forgive yourself.

This is me anywhere from several months to several years. Rei Todoroki had to put up with Endeavor and his abusive behavior for about a decade.

Rei was abused, end of story. Rei's children were abused, either physically or neglectfully, end of story. We've seen Shoto's training. We've heard Endeavor hitting his wife and hearing her scream. People are not perfect. People are not invincible. To expect that someone like Rei could keep her head held high when it felt like the world was against her is like expecting a stone to say the same shape and size out in the open for thousands of years.

In the end, it all wears down.

Rei even knew this herself. She knew she was breaking down, and tried to call on her other family in order to stop something bad from happening. Too little, too late. Rei sees her son, the left side of her son, the side that her husband was responsible for, in a sense. She remembers all the beatings, all the physical and mental degradation against herself and her kids, and she snaps. She has finally had it with Endeavor, and in her fury, she pours boiling water against his face. Only it wasn't her husband's face. It was Shoto's. Her youngest child, her little boy, the one Endeavor was the most brutal to. The one she had wanted to live without fear of a beating.

And she just struck him without a second thought.

There's immediate remorse. Rei doesn't stew in her rage; the guilt overtakes her almost instantaneously. You could argue that trying to ice boiling water is not the best method of preventing a burn, but it's the intentions that matter here. From what I've heard, the scar could have been a lot bigger if Rei just stood there. Plus, I don't think it's necessarily common that people think 100% sanely when they're overcome by extreme emotion. Saying Rei was wrong for trying to soothe her son's burn even if it wasn't the best method is like getting made at a fireman for successfully putting a forest fire out, even of the trees are no longer living.

It's permanent damage, but would you rather deal with that, or something worse?

And just imagine how Shoto feels in all of this. There's sadness. There's betrayal. Of course some of it is directed at Rei, and deservingly so. The one person he felt he could trust basically just turned on him, seemingly out of nowhere. And yet... even though Shoto is a child, he's far from naive. He knows that Endeavor isn't a good person. He's heard his mother's cries, likely her arguments with his father, and he's even been a witness to Endeavor's abuse towards her. She may have done the deed, but for Shoto, the scar isn't his mom's fault. It's Endeavor's. He was the one who abused them, he was the one who took away their sense of happiness, of safety, he was the one who pushed them to the brink and then pushed them some more.

If he had just been a bit more considerate, a bit more reasonable, a bit more human, Rei's breakdown might have been delayed, if not outright nonexistent.

And can we just talk about the Rei/Endeavor parallels for a bit? Nowadays the manga readers are in the midst of Endeavor's redemption arc. I personally think that it's mildly problematic, but I will admit that it's probably better for Endeavor to not continue being a sorry excuse of a human being for the remainder of the series. That being said, I'd like to point out that Rei came first. Rei threw the first jab, and immediately felt remorse afterward. Shoto walked back into Rei's life, and she did not take that opportunity for granted. She spent the time shortly after her hospitalization trying to get better, and this is only more apparent when we see her for the rest of the series. As for Endeavor? His change in behavior was a lot slower. I'll admit that functionally speaking, he's a good hero, but as a person he's the scum of the Earth. He doesn't try self-evaluating after Shoto's fight with Izuku when Shoto says he only used his fire because he forgot about Endeavor. Even at Kamino, Endeavor is still an ass to All Might even though they have bigger things to worry about. And when he sees Small Might, exposed to the world? His first idea is to state that knowing he'd never catch up to All Might drove him to abusing his family.

Endeavor, buddy, that was your call. Not All Might's. Quite frankly, I don't think he's even aware of the BS you put your family through.

One of the few things that frustrates me about Endeavor's redemption is not that he has one; it's that under different circumstances, it wouldn't exist to begin with. Without All Might's retirement, without Endeavor forced into the spotlight as the new #1 Hero, there is no development on his part. I'd have the gall to say that Endeavor would still be a narcissistic asshole if All Might managed to hang on to his power for a while longer. Without the pressure of being #1 on his shoulders, Endeavor continues (in vain) to try and surpass All Might, or at least get Shoto to. He's still a good hero functionally speaking, but how long until his obsession starts to cloud his judgement? How long before the #2 Hero eventually slips up in his rage-fueled fervor?

I'll say it again: it's good that Endeavor is trying to change, but without any actual unprovoked self reflection on his part, it's not as impactful.

So to sum it up, I don't think Rei deserves all the hate she gets. She deserves to be held accountable for what she did, yes, but she's also a human being who was put into a mentally toxic position. It's a miracle she didn't snap sooner, and it's a miracle she's finally making progress with help from her kids.

Mitsuki Bakugo

And finally, the reason why I started down this train of thought.

I'm not even gonna try beating around the bush here: Mitsuki Bakugo is a bad parent.

Notice how I didn't say abusive. No, that does not mean I'm validating her. It just means I personally haven't seen or heard enough in the series thus far to justify whether she should be held on the same level as Endeavor, if not close.

I still have enough sense to see that she's not a good parent though. Far from it, actually.

So far we've only seem Mitsuki officially in a parent teacher meeting after Kamino, and a brief mention of her from Katsuki during the Remedial Course Arc. It doesn't paint a good picture. Right from the get go, her first scene is her hitting her son on the head and calling him weak. This isn't some slapstick or tough love, as some people will say. This is something entirely different, and it should tell readers two things.

Mitsuki is disconnected from her son.

Mitsuki is a carbon copy of her son.

Now take that second point with a grain of salt. People have said time and time again that Mitsuki is basically a genderbent Katsuki, which is accurate to a degree. She's also more mellowed out than Katsuki, as she can talk to other people without trying to assert her dominance. She's actually surprisingly aware of her son's superiority complex as well, but... For all that, it's obvious that Mitsuki isn't actually fully aware of her son's issues. Like her son, Mitsuki is also too focused on her son's brute strength. Calling him weak isn't some karmic justice for all the times Katsuki has said the same to other people; it's a feedback loop that feeds into Katsuki's insecurities, which feeds into his inferiority complex, which feeds into his superiority, which then repeats ad infinitum. You could argue that maybe Katsuki has acted too thick-skinned around his mom to let her actually get a feel for his problems, but I personally doubt that she's really tried to understand her son, or maybe she just... gave up.

And then there's Katsuki saying that he was raised with violence. "BUT CRIMSON, SHE HAS TO BE ABUSIVE IF SHE'S WILLING TO HIT HER KID, WhY cAn'T yOu AcCePt ThAt!?" Well, from what I learned, people can hit their kids and still? Not? Be abusers? Spanking used to be a thing, y'know, and while it's heavily controversial nowadays, I doubt that the good parents used it at the drop of a hat. Kids can be jerks; I was one. Back to Mitsuki, I doubt that this line meant from the day Katsuki had been four years old, his life had been hell. I feel like even if Mitsuki was still brash, she didn't immediately start beating on Katsuki when he started to get a big head. If anything, I'd assume she waited about two years at most before she started letting the fists fly. Keep in mind, almost everyone Katsuki meets admires him for his abilities. Who's to say his mom wasn't one of those people at the start? It wouldn't have been until Katsuki ego started becoming a noticeable issue that Mitsuki decided she needed to tale care of it. Only problem? Mitsuki makes bad decisions, just like her son. Resorting to physical violence and verbal taunts did nothing to help Katsuki, but it's what Mitsuki knew how to do, so she rolled with that. I'm not giving Katsuki a pass because of this, however. Shoto essentially went through the same thing, and his response was not to endlessly shout at others or display dominance. The violence targeted at the boys was brutal, but violence doesn't justify more violence. Katsuki may have had a convenient excuse to start being an ass to people, but so did Shoto. And yeah, "Earlyroki" was an ass, but at least it wasn't intentional.

Before I go, I just want to bring up really quick where Masaru falls into this. One could argue that Masaru's also to blame for how Katsuki turned out for not stepping in but... have you seen Mitsuki, or even Katsuki for that matter? No offense to Masaru, but he's kind of a doormat character. He only married Mitsuki due to her persistence, and while Masaru's "Oxidizing Sweat" quirk is likely destructive, Masaru himself is... not. He seems to be the exact opposite of his wife and son personality wise, only instead of canceling them out, his lack of dominance forces him to run for cover should a dark omen come about. We've seen what Katsuki's done to Izuku before UA. Masaru basically has to put up with two of those, and unlike our protagonist, he doesn't have the resilience to withstand that much anger.

So...

TL;DR. Inko Midoriya is a great mom who just wants her son to be safe and happy. Rei Todoroki cares a lot about her son and is willing to work to show it, even in the face of setbacks. Mitsuki Bakugo is a terrible parent who either needs to figure out what's wrong with her son properly, or leave to someone who can.

Thank you for your time.

-Crimson Lion (24 November 2019)

[zombryz]

A drummers hands (Part 1)

~ Machine Gun Kelly as Tommy Lee Imagine ~

Just a heads up! Read before continuing:

Currently, I do not know how many parts there are going to be so hop in and enjoy the ride! 

**There is cursing, mentions of sex, alcohol, and bi-sexuality**

Tom was wearing a yellow and blue plaid shirt. You helped him get dressed that night.

“I’m really nervous,” he says as you continue to brush his long brown hair to the side of his face. “I really hope they let me sign them… that would mean the WORLD to me.” He smiles as you put the comb down to talk to him.

“I know Tom, I just… I don’t want them to take advantage of you. Boy bands can be….. crazy.” You replied while looking down at your feet, you didn’t want him to think you were upset.

You and Tom had been best friends for years, you did everything together. He would take you to movies, go to the fair, even have sleep overs. Just last week the two of you saw Raiders of the lost ark 3 times in a row. Sometimes even his parents would joke around about you two getting married one day. You didn’t see that though, to be honest you were too wild for Tom. He had this dorky way about him, which you adored, but you would never be afraid to do a dare just for the hell of it. You saw that the nights were young and all you wanted to do was have fun.

“It’s going to be okay, (Y/N) nothing is going to get in between us,” he pulled you in for a hug because it seemed like the right moment. “Ewww, yuck let go of me you dork!” you laughed loudly as he started tickling you. You hated being tickled and he knew that better than anyone. It was going to be an interesting night.

After not being let into the show by the security guard, you and Tom decided to wait and follow the band to whatever joint they were going to hit up next. “That’s them!,” you shout for Tom to follow. He pulls behind an old rusty van that the band was driving, finally arriving to a bar that you both know far too well. You’ve danced on the tables and have been kicked out one too many times. Tom goes in first. You spot them at a round table in the center of the bar, it’s a perfect moment for Tom to introduce himself so he takes it.

“Hey, guys. I’m Tom Zutaut. I work for Elektra Records!” you followed behind him letting him have the spotlight, after all you didn’t want to be kicked out again. “Hey man!!” a boy who looks about your age with shaggy, long, dark hair replies in the booth with a cig tucked under his lip. You can’t help but laugh and the man immediately looks at you as the cigarette falls into his lap. “uhhh, wanna sit down?” he says, his words seem flustered as he tries to take his eyes off you. Motley Crue moves closer together making room for you and Tom.

You were wearing black leather pants that Tom picked out which he says, “make you look less nerdy,” matched with a pink crop top and knee high boots. Your hair is teased and you’re wearing your iconic bad girl black eye makeup, it makes you feel more dangerous. As you sit down you feel hands run up your legs, someone tries to unzip your pants and once realizing you wouldn’t be needing a blow job this evening under the table, a blonde haired women pops her head up looking at you with sex in her eyes. You reach down to her and cup her face while you plant a kiss on her lips. She gets out of the booth and puts her number on the table while mouthing the words, “call me” before walking off. Tom clears his throat, “ so *cough*… uh, this is (Y/N).” You look around and all the boys are taken back from what just happened and they all go silent. The drummer looks at you and instantly holds his hand out to shake your hand, “Hi (Y/N), I’m Tommy!” he says grinning from cheek to cheek. One by one the boys introduce themselves, Vince, Mick, and finally Sixx. You looked back at Tom and winked, you knew that the band would sign themselves to Elektra records after what you just did. Nikki celebrated by slamming the drummer’s head against the table, you don’t know why but you have a feeling you’re going to like these boys. You can’t help that you find their drummer extremely attractive either.

You and Tom leave the boys and go home to watch your favorite late night talk show with David Letterman. You lay in bed with Tom as you laugh along to David, “I really like those boys,” you say with a gentle smile looking up at Tom. You can only see his figure in the dark but you knew he was there. “yeah, me too,” he chuckles. “I think the drummer is cute,” you respond placing your palm on your forehead wishing you hadn’t, you regret what just came out of your mouth. Tom sits up and looks at you, “(Y/N), no.. that’s a bad situation waiting to happen.” He holds out his arm and puts them around your neck to wrestle you, he was so childish sometimes. “Fine, I won’t do anything.. ok dad?” You always joked around with him by calling him dad when he would talk to you in a stern way, it was funny. “but,” you said quietly. “No! He probably gets with 10 girls a night and I don’t want him to hurt you or I’ll have to stick one of those drum sticks up his ass.” You both go silent and you don’t remember falling asleep.

A few days pass and the band was leaving for their next city while touring around the US. You and Tom decide to tag along seeing as now the band had a full team. Tom was there to make sure things went smoothly for their record deal, Doc was their now band manager and you felt like you were kind of his sidekick in some ways. Then there was you, you were kind of just there to have fun. The band did some stupid shit but in some ways you thought you were too wild for even them. Everyone rode in a tour bus that Elektra records paid for. “Man, this is sick!” Vince said climbing aboard the long tan bus. The seats inside resembled couches and the back of the bus had beds on the sides with one big room in the back which the boys and you decided to later give it to Doc. This was your home for the next 6 months and you were not complaining. Vince ran to the back of the bus as fast as he could, “ooOOOo, I’m going to have so much fun back here bringing girls here after shows!!” he says while humping and smacking the air imitating him fucking a girl doggie style. “Not if I get to first,” you yell at him while sticking your tongue out you pass him to jump on the bed. Tommy runs after you and also jumps on the bed. You and the drummer boy started jumping like children before he grabbed you and flipped you over his back in the fireman carry position. He playfully smacked your ass as your punched his lower back hanging upside down, you couldn’t stop laughing. Tommy spun you around before throwing you back down onto the bed. He hovered over you and you stared longingly into his blue eyes, they were like staring into an ocean that you wanted to admire all day. The two of you shared silence before the room filled with awkward coughing and clearing of throats. You knew Tommy had a girlfriend who he “supposedly” loved. Her name was Roxie and she was the perfect girl for a rock star, she had the dark hair and the red lips. You couldn’t compete, and you remembered that Tom told you not to pursue it anyways, maybe he was right.

You got up and walked back to stand with Tom, he made an irritated face at you and you felt like a puppy who was getting in trouble for peeing in the house when you didn’t feel like you did anything wrong. “Nice going dude,” Nikki patted Tommy’s shoulder as he took a seat in one of the couch seats. “ yeah, whatever man.” He started swinging the drum sticks in his hand. You and the band were actually on your way to pick up Roxie while you thought to yourself that you wanted her to just stay home, this summer could’ve been great getting to know Tommy. You put a stop to your thoughts and look up at Tom who was already looking at you, he mouthed the word “stop” as you rolled your eyes at him. You thought to yourself again, what if I just hooked up with a different band member, it doesn’t have to be Tommy.. this summer was about fun. You thought about Vince, nope, he probably has an STD. Mick was sweet but you felt like he would suck your blood in the middle of the night. That left Nikki, Tommy’s best friend. Nikki was hot and mysterious but you didn’t think he was that into you. Operation get Nikki to like you was a go, you smiled to yourself and looked over to Nikki. Nikki winked back at you and little did you know that Tommy was staring at both of you with stirring jealousy in his eyes.

[fandom-queenliness]

*Spoilers* Oni-Chan

Why just why. I have so many issues with this so I’m doing it how anyone would. A full-length essay dissecting everything I can from the subtitles. 

Be aware, I am not very pro-Love Square, and have a large number of problems with the shows writing/Adrien and his Nice Guy/Passive behaviour in general. 

Essay/salt incoming, you have been warned. Read at your own peril. 

For context, in previous episodes, Adrien has had little to no problem with Lila lying and has even gone out of his way so that she may continue lying. Kagami had about zero romantic interest in Adrien upon her first appearance in Riposte, which is, in my opinion, her truest representation. Marinette has been told to not be so jealous of Adrien multiple times, but the narrative has made it clear she has no control of her feelings when it comes to him. All of Adrien’s love interests (Chloe, Kagami, Lila, Marinette) generally all hate each other, are vindictive, cruel, petty and jealous. Adrien does literally nothing to stop them. 

First of all, they expect us to believe that Kagami is in love with the limp noddle that is Adrien? Get out. Just get out. In Riposte, I believe she had about no interest in him. She came here to fence and by gods was she going to fence. But Nooooooooo, Adrien just had to have another love interest, and no girl can be without someone to make her complete. What utter bullshit. I am so mad right now. 

Second, I’m glad that he’s finally taking a stand against Lila (though, still in a passive way. I’ll take what I can get). He’s cut her off, he’s yelled at her, scolded her. Now we just need him helping Mari taking her down, acknowledging his flaws, trying to improve himself, all while learning about boundaries and taking no for an answer. What a wonderful development of his character, Adrien salt is non-existent, the show is saved, the love square is trending. Oh wait, it is physically impossible for the writers to have Adrien improve because “he’s already perfect”. Ugh. 

Third, what a shitty reason to get akumatised. (I love Kagami btw). I mean, yeah, she can be mad, but really, over a guy. A guy who has already stated he likes another girl. (Chat had a good point, Lila and Kagami should have had Adrien’s input on his feelings instead of a game of tag around the city, but honestly does Chat even think of LB’s feelings? Does anyone, ever? A post for another day). But really a better reason could have been Kagami learning of Lila’s lying and Adrien’s passive-fucking-ness and how poorly it has affected Marinette, who Kagami was open to building a friendship with in Riposte. She could have learned what happened and felt betrayed because Adrien was not who she thought he was, and she becomes akumatised to seek revenge for Marinette and to confront Adrien without him being pulled away by his schedule. Bam we have character development and Adrien getting called out on his flaws, plus Marinette has someone standing up for her. So much better immediately. (Sidenote: Kagami’s whole speech about Adrien sucked ass I can’t believe a word of it. Just more of Astruc pushing perfect sunshine boy upon us.) 

Fourth, honestly fuck how Marinette behaved in the first half. I love my girl, she is awesome, but I am tired of her being so over the top and possessive of Adrien. Like, we get it, she likes him, but no girl - especially no girl who is as mature as the narrative is portraying her as - is going to stalk her crush and a girl all the way to his house. She has been told/told herself to stop being jealous in multiple episodes, but it’s undone by the next. Fuck that. Also, let her have some character outside of Adrien because honestly, I am sick and tired of him and how Marinette is made to act around him. So much of her development is around him and it’s not a good message for the age demographic this show is targeted at. It’s just terrible honestly. 

Fifth, KAGAMI CUT DOWN A TREE AND IT WAS AWESOME. SHE’S SO STRONG, I LOVE HER. *Swoons* 

Sixth, Lila had some good lies. Fucking finally. It was about time. I was worried she was incapable. And some back story on her? Wonderful, personally I can’t find an absent mother as a good excuse because the mother clearly loves her dearly but it’s nice, nonetheless. And Lila manipulating Oni-Chan? Great, just so glad that I can actually start seeing her as a threat to something other than the Love Square in canon. And that bit where Gabriel was clearly seeing her as a weapon/ally was like water in a desert, the plot is moving, hussah. God it was refreshing but we all know it won’t last. C’est la vie. 

Seventh, loved the fireman thing. Him helping Mari and LB? Adorable. Hated the reason why he helped Marinette, but it was cute how he comforted her. (Honestly I kinda wanted him to tell Mari if this guy was bothering her so much maybe she should let him go. Idk I’m just so fucking tired man). He can be added to the Marinette protection squad I love how he’s all about the safety. 

Eight, notice how Chat was whining about how no one fights over him. Are we really going there? Really. I just, Jesus. The boy is a model, famous, rich, and has girls and guys fawning over him as Adrien enough, which he clearly does not appreciate. Does he really want that as Chat, or does he just girls he can use to make Ladybug jealous, like dolls to be discarded when he is done? A question for another day. 

Ninth, Tikki finally gives Marinette some good advice but it’s too late and I’m already cringing over the whole trash bin thing. I just—*sigh* 

Tenth, Kagami’s costume? Hurts my eyes. The potential was there but it was wasted. I’m so sorry that Hawkbitch forced my girl to wear that. My poor sword lesbian. 

Eleventh, Adrien continues to be a passive bitch, letting Lila sneak around him room, ignoring Plagg’s warnings, and only getting truly upset when Lila manipulated him into leaving LB. I’m mad about that too, because like, sure he thought she was hurt, but couldn’t he have just set her down on a rooftop somewhere safe instead of the whole hospital bit? Btw, I love fireman guy seeing through Lila’s shit. “This is what you get for now wearing kneepads”. He is so concerned for safety. My boy. 

Twelfth, LB using Oni-Chan’s powers against her was beautiful. We stan a queen. So smart, so brave, I love her. 

Thirteenth, they really made Kagami idolise that fucking rose Adrien gave her. The rose Adrien originally gave LB, the rose he gave her before asking her out on a terrible date. The terrible date where he invited another girl, payed more attention to said other girl, and then made it clear to Kagami that he was using her as a rebound and he was still not over the girl who rejected him. They are really trying to make us believe Kagami the Queen loves this guy? Really? 

Fourteenth, the horn was hilarious. I wish she was stuck with it. Or at least LB video Lila lying and her horn growing. It was a beautiful thing. 

Fifteen I don’t get the whole “Chat ignores the Bien-Joué from LB to help Kagami up is Bad and Terrible”. Like, I hate the implications and subtext behind it. And the way LB deflated over it. It was unnecessary and jsut there to stir up trouble. Just… fuck that. 

Sixteenth, LB abandoning Lila to walk home was wonderful. I wish Mari was allowed to be like that outside of the mask and not get demonised for it. 

Seventeenth, Alya asking Mari why she’s not “keeping an eye” on Adrien and Lila and Marinette saying she “trusts” Adrien with Lila is weird for me. Cause it’s like she was saying it like she was Adrien’s girlfriend and was trusting him not to cheat. It was like she was already laying claim to a guy that she can barely talk to. In fact, they didn’t talk at all in this ep. Mari and Juleka had more exchanges than her and Adrien. Pshh. 

Eighteenth, Gabriel is a piece of shit. Not letting his son have friends. No wonder he’s like this. Plus making a deal with the bitch who feels so entitled to Adrien is a dick move. Fuck Gabriel and his candy cane tie. 

Nineteenth, Lila manipulated Natalie. What the shit. I’m impressed. I’m loving this whole thing. I’m really excited for Lila working with Hawkbitch. It’s going to be either really good or bad as shit. I am worried for Adrien. Just because I don’t like how he’s being portrayed doesn’t mean he should suffer at the hands of Lila. Also her mirroring Gabriel’s want to shield his son is kinda creepy and possessive. Ew. 

Twenty, Adrien: “Lila, you can count on me, unless you hurt the people I love”. Um, how about Marinette? I get you don’t love her romantically but what about your good friend??? Or do you just not care about her?? Throwback to Chameleon where Adrien decided keeping Lila from being akumatised mattered less than the truth and Marinette’s feelings. Yeah, he’s such a great role model and such a wise choice for a love interest. 

As you can see from the evidence, this episode sucked. Kagami and Marinette deserve better (preferably each other) and not the limp blond pasta sucker that is Adrien Agreste. Very sorry if you’re feeling offended by this post, feel free to rant and complain about it and me. 

[iarollane]

Fictober tenth

I'm still running behind on these. Hopefully I'll catch up soon

==

Prompt 10 : "Listen, I can't explain it. You'll have to trust me."

Dragon Age: Inquisition set during the Singer of Magic timeline, though much farther along than I currently have posted or otherwise written. It also references a prompt I wrote before, for day 3.

Rating: General. Some depictions of violence and gore but not terribly explicit.

==

We were on our way to the ritual tower that Alistair had found out about, maybe a week's travel from reaching the edges of the Western Approach. The plains grass and tall tree stands had given way to scrub bushes and the occasional twisted tree. It was beautiful, in its own way, though I'd always prefer the ocean.

We'd met up with Garren Hawke and Alistair a few days ago. Garren was never going to be friendly, but at least he wasn't plotting ways to kill me in my sleep. He was sticking close to Varric, talking quietly with him.

Alistair was using his dry wit to good advantage, telling us stories of his wife, the Warden Commander Surana, while we rode. Solas was nearby, close enough to hear our conversation without being so close as to be a participant. By this point, we'd somehow pulled ahead of the others. I wasn't too worried, since the area was relatively flat, and it was easy to see everyone behind us and the nothing ahead of us.

"So, no lie," he laughed through his story, "she pushed me over the waterfall. Jumped right in after me, because she's crazy like that." The smile faded slightly, becoming wistful. "Maker, I miss them," he said softly.

"Them?" I asked, curious.

"Ah. Yes, Zevran is with her, watching her back. Lucky bastard." The last was said mostly to himself.

I looked out at the trail, not really seeing it as I considered. "I'm rather surprised that you let him go with her," I commented. "I always thought you hated him."

"Who told you that? Leliana?" He shook his head. "He's not so bad. He's like a fungus..." he started, looking sideways at me.

"He grows on you?" I finished dryly.

"Exactly." Alistair grinned. "I'll be honest, at first I didn't like him. I didn't trust him. But at some point, I saw..." he trailed off, eyes narrowed as he scanned our surroundings.

"Alistair?" I prodded.

"Go back. Get to the others," he said, suddenly serious. He started easing his sword from its scabbard.

"Why?" Solas's voice was sharp behind me. He had no love for the warden. "There's nothing here. Even the spirits find this area to be slim pickings."

"Listen, I can't explain it right now, there's no time! You'll have to trust me. Go!" He wheeled his horse around, lifting his blade up and flashing a signal in the sun with it.

After hesitating just a moment, I nodded to Solas, and we both turned our mounts. Kicking my hart into a gallop, I saw Garren pushing forward on his own horse. Magic wreathed him as he passed us.

We reached the rest of our friends, and turned back to look in time to see Garren reach out, grab Alistair's hand, and slice it. Their horses were galloping off, eyes rolling in panic.

As Garren cut into Alistair, the ground around them seemed to crumble, and numerous darkspawn emerged. Even as I gasped, ready to race back to them to help, Garren did... something. I felt power surge around them, and dark red vines manifested, a gruesome hurricane with Garren at its center. They went hurtling through the creatures, chasing those that tried to run, even diving into the ground, presumably seeking out those still in their tunnels.

It was over surprisingly quickly. We watched with baited breath, waiting to see if more darkspawn would appear. I saw instead Garren waver, then fall over. Alistair was beside him in an instant, checking him.

I rushed out towards them, already preparing my Song for healing, but Alistair looked up, waving me back. "It wouldn't be a good idea to go into that, ma'da'mis," Solas said beside me. "The ground, where it isn't falling into the tunnels, is covered in the taint."

I could see what Solas was talking about. The area surrounding the two was either gone, disappeared into the tunnels, or black with blood. As I took it all in, Alistair finished looking over Garren, then picked him up in a fireman's carry and started picking his way towards us.

I could hear Garren grumbling as they drew closer. "I don't need to be carried. I can walk fine on my own."

"Let's not test that theory," Alistair quipped. "You're exhausted. Last time you did this, it took three days to get you on your feet."

Garren scoffed, but didn't disagree. "You're ok?" I asked. "What was that? I've never heard of anything like that!"

"It was a form of blood magic," Dorian's voice said from behind me. "Similar in design to how your southern circles use phylacteries to chase the mages down." He looked impressed despite himself. "Only, instead of focusing the secondary spell on the blood, he focused instead on the taint within it. The secondary spell added a 'destroy' element to the seeking."

"You're forgetting the part where I have to weave protections into it at the same time," Garren said tiredly.

Alistair moved to pass us and staggered. It was only then that I noticed he looked as haggard as Garren. "Start setting up camp!" I called out, reaching to help steady him.

"No!" Alistair and Garren both yelled. Alistair continued in a calmer voice, "We need to keep moving. Those tunnels will need to be closed, but for now we need to get as far away as we can before nightfall."

"You can barely stand, Garren can't at all-" I started hotly.

"That's the point, boss," Bull put in. "That was a great light show, but it's only good when the one capable of casting is actually capable of casting it."

"Simply put," Solas said, "Hawke is in no condition to deal with it if more darkspawn come."

"Shit." I growled under my breath. "Alright. Do we have mounts for these two? Are you two even able to ride?"

Garren huffed. "Just tie me to the saddle. I'll be fine."

[misssophiachase]

Love Bites

For Klaroween Bingo - “Bite me, wait no, i was being sarcastic.”

Wednesday, 31st October 2018...

“I’m going to kill him,” Caroline growled, peeking through the blinds into her neighbour’s house. It was 11:57pm and her mind was racing with how she could exact her revenge on his arrogant, English ass.

“Are you still pissed about the chicken invasion?” Katherine drawled, placing a piece of candy on her outstretched tongue and sending her a curious glance mid bite. 

Caroline would have rolled her eyes if the accompanying shudder hadn’t coursed through her body thinking about him filling her backyard with unwanted poultry.  How he found out her biggest fear she didn’t know but she made sure he was going to pay.

“Well, you did put hot pink, jello crystals in his pool,” Bonnie added, helping herself to some candy. 

“Only because he left those frogs in my locker,” she hissed. Thankfully amphibians were much lower on her fear register than birds. 

“Do you think maybe it’s time you stop playing childish pranks and just get down and dirty?” Katherine asked, her expression surprisingly stoic given the conversation content. “The sexual tension between you is palpable and i don’t like that kind of bad karma.”  

“You don’t like sexual tension?” Bonnie teased. “Well, now that’s a first, Kitty Kat.”

“That’s not what I meant, Bon,” she scoffed, throwing some caramel popcorn in her friend’s direction. “I don’t want their inability to seal the deal to rub off on my chances of getting some.”

“I’m so glad I invited you over tonight. You know sugar isn’t good for you, right?” Caroline huffed, pulling the sweets away from their greedy grasps. “I hate the idiot and any way to make his life miserable is welcome.”

“Well, given the abundance of noise coming from their Halloween Party a little call to to the cops would most definitely be unwelcome.” Caroline rallied, thinking Bonnie might have a point and finally returned the candy to their outstretched arms.

“You do realise we could be at said party having fun and not trying to hatch revenge plans all on our pathetic lonesome and chowing down unnecessary candy?” Kat pouted. “I think my costume this year is my best yet, it seems a waste.” She did look extremely cute in a naughty nurse get-up Bonnie too, looking hot as Wonder Woman.

“I’m sorry but when I said we were going to boycott I meant it, Kat.” Maybe it was selfish but Caroline had grown increasingly frustrated at Klaus Mikaelson and his unrelenting mission to terrorise her life.  There was no way she was going to show up at his party and stroke that over-inflated ego.

Everyone at school had been talking about the big Mikaelson, Halloween bash for the past month. Even though they’d been neighbours since she was eight, Caroline really didn’t know much about Klaus or his siblings just that given the number of impromptu parties they threw, their parents were absent a lot. 

Given their interesting and somewhat complex personalities, Caroline figured their lack of parenting had a lot to answer for. Rebekah repeatedly shouted at her across the fence for taking her light when she was trying to sunbathe because apparently Caroline was Mother Nature. Kol thought it was funny to throw rocks at her window, especially in the middle of the night, and Klaus decided she was the perfect target for his unwanted pranks. Maybe fighting back hadn’t helped her cause but Caroline hated to lose.

Unfortunately, Klaus Mikaelson knew that too. Bastard.

It was only when multiple pieces of candy hit her that Caroline knew her best friends were close to a full on revolt. 

“Wait here,” she replied. “I’ve got a phone call to make.” 

Yes, it was wrong and completely against her moral code but shutting down this party was going to be the saving grace of her otherwise dismal, Halloween evening.

xxxxx

Given the loud noise inside the house, Klaus was surprised he could make out the repetitive, hard knock on their front door as he passed by. He peered through the peep hole, it had become a common practice given the fact his parents had barely been present the past five years. 

He’d accepted their inability to parent but it still hurt, not that he’d admit that aloud.

What greeted him was completely unexpected. He opened the door inspecting his visitors curiously.

“We’ve heard reports about a blaze at this address,” the fire captain explained, taking a moment to look at his costume gravely before continuing. “Could you direct us to the source?” 

He was dumbfounded at first. There was no fire, well, last time he checked. Before he could respond, his younger and slightly inebriated brother gestured for them to follow. Usually he’d laugh but for some reason he was actually worried his irresponsible sibling had been playing with matches. 

He let his eyes wander across the front yard and past the fire truck parked at the curb with its lights flashing, he couldn’t miss the intense, and familiar, gaze meeting his before her curtains closed hurriedly. He grinned knowing exactly who’d done this and he couldn’t be happier for the interruption. He only threw this party hoping she’d actually attend and so far the night had been a bust without her.

Klaus Mikaelson was the kind of guy who could have anyone but there was only one person he wanted and she hated him, or so he thought. He’d fallen in love with her the day they moved in next door all those years ago but had no idea how to make her like or notice him.

It was only when he knew just how competitive she was that Klaus acted. Yes, at last count she apparently still hated him, but no one would go to that much trouble if they didn’t care.

He looked at his surroundings deciding he’d rather go interrogate the girl next door than stay at this lacklustre party. Making his way to her front door he swallowed, confused by just how nervous he felt before knocking. The silence was overwhelming. Klaus didn’t even know he was holding his breath until she appeared.

He knew Caroline Forbes was feisty, intelligent and beautiful but standing in the doorway he couldn’t release the breath he was still holding if he tried. Dressed in head to toe black he was a goner, now to find his voice. 

“Yes?” She asked, her voice taking on a judgmental tone as her eyes flickered over his outfit, he couldn’t miss the surprise. “Do I know you?”

“Just your friendly neighbour who had to deal with the jello sabotage and now staged fire emergencies,” he murmured breaking through her obvious deflection and attempting to provoke a reaction.

“Bite me,” she hissed. Klaus couldn’t help himself and arched his left eyebrow curiously. “Wait no, I was being sarcastic.”

“Are you sure?” He drawled, secretly hoping she wasn’t. 

“Are you sure Kol hasn’t started a real fire?” She recovered, albeit shakily from his stand point. Her question was valid and Klaus knew it. “He seems like the type who needs supervision.”

“Sounds like you do know me, love,” he smirked, placing his hand on the doorway. “And what about you?” He asked, purposely avoiding her question about his brother’s pyromaniac past. “Do you need supervision?”

“She definitely needs supervision,” a lone voice called out followed by two giggles. 

“They’ve had too much candy and need to be cut-off,” she explained, although he couldn’t miss just how cute she looked blushing. 

“I don’t know, Forbes, maybe you can’t be trusted. So, why exactly did you call the fire department, Caroline?”

“I lost my kitty in a tree, obviously they mixed up the street address,” she purred, he couldn’t miss the slight, playful tug at the end of her tempting, pink lips.

He stilled, trying not to react even if everything inside him was aroused. “I’m your neighbour and this is the first time i’ve heard of a pet cat.” Klaus was trying to ignore just how stunning she looked in that particular ensemble. A full-length, black catsuit which accentuated every delicious curve. “Unless, it’s you they’re searching for.”

“What can I say, I’m a sucker for a gorgeous firemen.” Klaus smirked knowingly, looking down at his chosen costume curiously.

“Well, fancy that, I just happen to be dressed as a fireman and you as a cat. Suddenly this doesn’t seem like such a coincidence, Forbes.”

“Oh, so you’ve run into a burning building and saved a cat from a tree before?”

“Well, no,” he stumbled, obviously hoping his costume and bare chest would suffice. 

“Well, then I’m not sure we can be friends.” Her aloofness was beginning to wear on his nerves.

“You’re still pissed about the birds I take it?” 

“What birds?” She didn’t wait for him to reply, just closed the door in his face. Klaus Mikaelson had girls falling all over him but the one he wanted seemed too disinterested for his liking. 

He may have been slightly drunk but if she wanted him to run into a burning building then that’s what he’d do. He was starting to think she was actually a witch with evil intentions.

xxx

“Pretty sure you’ve just sealed his death warrant,” Kat offered, approaching the front door. 

“Way to be morbid, I was only joking,” Caroline broke off defensively, suddenly worried.  

“Given that determined look on his face before you slammed the door I’m thinking he’s going to sign up for national service or run into the nearest burning building on a whim, the boy obviously loves a challenge.”

“He doesn’t,” she faltered weakly. 

“Funnily enough just like you, Care,” Kat added. “You hate to break a promise and your parents have let you down more times than I can remember.”

Suddenly she felt sick, like if he decided to run into a burning building she’d actually care if he made it out alive. Caroline wanted to blame it on excess candy but given her best friends had scarfed down her entire stash she was now an open book.

They were more alike than she’d ever expected. “I need to go over there,” she hissed.

“And the boycott?” She was outside before Bonnie could mutter the words ‘I told you so.’ And Kat could relish in the fact she’d been set free to party naughty nurse style. 

“Hey!” She yelled, trying to grab his attention, even if those yellow overalls were hugging his toned ass in all the right places. 

He turned, albeit slowly, his raised eyebrows enough to tell Caroline she’d gone too far with that whole door slamming episode. “I hate birds.”

“I’ve never met anyone who hates poultry,” he offered, apologetically. “But I’ll know better next time. In case you’re interested I hate hot pink jello too.”

“Why? What did it do to you?” 

“It was so bright my eyes had to do extra work to take it all in,” he smiled mischievously. “Okay, I’m sorry but I thought after the frogs it would be okay.”

“And how did you figure that exactly?” Caroline wanted to hate him but her curiosity got the better of her on this occasion. 

“Down at Millson’s Pond all those years ago, you really loved the tadpoles,” he explained, albeit sheepishly. “I figured you wouldn’t have anything against their future transition.”

“You were there?” She inhaled sharply. It was a memory that revisited her frequently but Klaus Mikaelson was never really part of it. 

“You parents didn’t like our type much back then and no doubt told you to stay away,” he smiled wryly. “I have no idea why.” 

“Maybe it was your penchant for wildlife?”

“Yeah, that was definitely it,” he drawled. “I didn’t mean to scare you, I was just trying to make you notice me.”

“Well, you definitely succeeded in that,” she smiled knowingly. “In fact, I heard there was this killer party tonight. If you don’t have a date I might be interested.”

“Oh really?” He teased, holding out his arm and pulling it through hers gently, his left dimple flashing in her direction. “I can’t promise that Kol really hasn’t really burned down the place though.”

[galwednesday]

I wish you would write wholesome Shrinkyclinks! Modern AU or WS!Bucky or anything :) especially anything where people take Bucky as super intimidating and seemingly Not For Steve but he's actually soft-spoken and embarrassingly in love with his bf. Also inspiration art, take out the parentheses: coldcigarettes(.)tumblr(.)com/post/155362763256/you-know-how-i-never-do-comics-well-ive-done-one

What I ended up with is a little askew from the prompt, but it is Shrinkyclinks with besotted WS!Bucky and people being surprised Steve is his boyfriend, just with the surprise going the other direction.

Sam did one more circuit in the air just to confirm that everything was under control. The wannabe-despot of the week was being loaded into the back of a SHIELD van in handcuffs, and the three bioengineered chimeras she’d released in Central Park were all safely contained. They were part hyena, part cat, and part…actually, Sam had no idea what the hell was making them glow faintly purple, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t normal cat or hyena behavior.

Fortunately, the chimeras weren’t nearly as aggressive as their creator had hoped. Once the Avengers had herded them into a sunny area by a fountain, the chimeras had settled down to bask on the warm stone, ignoring their creator’s increasingly frustrated commands to make with the rampaging already.

“Can we keep them?” Clint was shooting boomerang arrows from the top of the fountain. One of the chimeras was lying on its back, batting lazily at the arrows passing overhead. “I’ll feed them and walk them and not let them maul any civilians, can we keep them, sir, pretty please with a cherry on top?”

“No,” Coulson said. Sam could see him standing by the SHIELD van, arms folded as he watched Clint.

“I want this one.” Natasha sat on the ground by the fountain, posture relaxed, apparently ignoring the chimera five feet to her left. The chimera ignored her back, except to twitch an ear in her direction.

“No,” Coulson repeated, but only after a pause long enough signal defeat.

Natasha rolled slowly onto her side. The chimera tracked the movement, then put its head down on its paws and half-closed its eyes. “I’m naming her Boadicea.”

“So we’re done here? We’re done here,” Sam said, and turned his comm off before he could get sucked into the argument.

He touched down outside the SHIELD perimeter, where Tony was shedding his suit like a lobster shucking off its shell one segment at a time. Each piece folded up neatly into the briefcase at his feet. The Winter Soldier was standing next to him, his face blank but calm.

The Soldier had been an official part of the team for a few months now. Sam still didn’t have much of a read on him. The Soldier had been invaluable during the whole Hydra/SHIELD clusterfuck, and that was enough to earn him a lot of goodwill, but just about the only things Sam knew about the Soldier were his fighting style and his call sign.

“Hey, Cap,” Tony greeted him. “Where are the spy kids? Let’s do post-battle brunch, I’m starving.”

“They’re trying to convince Coulson to let the mad science experiments follow them home.”

“Good luck to them, but God help them if they try to keep them in the Tower, Pepper put her foot down about pets. You buy out one animal shelter because the cages are too small and all the animals look sad and suddenly everyone thinks you’re a hoarder. I don’t get what the big deal was, we weren’t using that floor of the Tower for anything important anyway. Tacos?” Tony suggested. “I’m thinking that place by Fordham. BattleBot, you in?”

“Can’t,” the Soldier said, typing something into his phone. “I have a date.”

Tony stopped talking for an entire three seconds. “You. Have a date.”

The Soldier looked up and blinked, clearly nonplussed to find Sam and Tony both staring at him. “Yes.”

“With who?”

“My boyfriend.”

“You have a boyfriend. You have a boyfriend?” Tony looked like he’d just walked into a lamppost, and then the lamppost had handed him a birthday present.

The Soldier’s brow furrowed. “Is that a problem?”

“Hey, this isn’t disapproval on my face, this is flabbergast. Flabbergastness? Flabbergosity?” Tony waved a dismissive hand. “I’m just a teeny bit surprised, no need to do that thing with your face where your eyebrows try to merge with your nose. Details! I need details!”

“Tony,” Sam tried.

Tony ignored him. “Is your boyfriend also a former brainwashed Soviet assassin?”

“No.” The Soldier’s stance eased. His phone chirped and he went back to typing.

“I guess that was a longshot. Is he a Marine?”

“No.”

“A fireman?”

“No.”

“Mixed martial-arts instructor?”

“He’s a painter.”

“Pics or it didn’t happen,” Tony demanded.

“Tony,” Sam sighed, but the Soldier was already holding out his phone. Tony barely resisted grabbing it. (People who grabbed things from the Soldier had a tendency to break fingers; granted, they were usually bad guys going for the Soldier’s weapons, but there was no telling exactly how the Soldier would react to a grab in a non-combat situation, and Sam for one would not want to be the first person to test it).

“That’s your boyfriend?” Tony said incredulously. “Him? No way. I don’t believe it.”

The Soldier’s eyebrows were advancing south again. “Why not?”

“Why not? Look at him, he’s adorable.”

“Yes,” the Soldier agreed, mollified.

Sam gave up on resisting his own curiosity and leaned over Tony’s shoulder. The Soldier obligingly held out his phone, which displayed a picture of a short, skinny guy with a neat blond crew cut. He was wearing a plaid flannel shirt and giving the camera a grin and a dorky peace sign.

“When are we meeting him?” Tony said. “Is it now? Can we meet him now? Does he like tacos?”

The Soldier gave them both an evaluating look. Sam tried to radiate friendly acceptance and not show that he was dying of curiosity almost as badly as Tony was.

“Yes,” the Soldier said eventually.

“Yes, he likes tacos, or yes, we can meet him now?”

“Yes.” The Soldier’s phone chirped again. He glanced at it and said, “He’s nearby. He’ll meet us there.”

The Soldier started walking. Tony and Sam fell in beside him, Tony throwing new questions at the Soldier with every step.

“Where did you meet?”

“JDate.”

“Seriously?”

“No.”

“Are you actually Jewish, though?”

The Soldier shrugged. “It’s complicated.”

“Same.” Tony held out a fist. The Soldier bumped it without looking up from his phone. “How long have you been dating?”

“Five months.”

“Five months! You need to tell me these things, this is information I needed to know, I thought we were friends.”

“Why would you think that,” the Soldier said, so flatly that Sam was almost entirely sure he was joking.

“I’m hurt, Ice-T, I’m wounded and distraught. If I ask you about your sex life are you going to punch me?”

“Yes.”

Tony’s eyes narrowed in calculation. “With which arm?”

“You guys hear that?” Sam interrupted. Angry shouts were echoing down the street ahead of them. He put a hand down to the shield at his side to check its position, his wingpack a reassuring weight on his back. A particularly loud yell was followed by a loud thud and the sound of glass breaking, like a waiter dropping a tray of glasses. “What is that?”

A beatific smile spread across the Soldier’s face. “That’s Steve.”

“What?” Sam said, but the Soldier had already broken into a run.

The commotion was coming from the taco place. Sam rounded the corner at a jog just in time to see a tiny guy pick himself up from the ground and hurtle forward into a much bigger man’s kneecaps, tackling him to the sidewalk. The contents of a knocked-over recycling bin were spilling into the street, sprays of glass marking bottles that had broken on impact.

The Soldier dove swiftly into the tangle of bodies and hauled the big guy up by his collar. “What did he do?” he asked the other man.

“Got handsy with a server,” the man replied. His nose was bleeding, but he didn’t seem to notice. He grinned at the Soldier, and suddenly Sam recognized him. This was Steve? “You want to sit on him until the cops come?”

The Soldier put the man in an armlock and didn’t move an inch, no matter how much the man struggled, until the NYPD showed up. Sam adopted his most Captain America voice and reassured the bystanders that everything was under control. The crowd petered out once the fighting was over, not even the spectacle of three Avengers helping with a citizen’s arrest enough to meet New Yorkers’ jaded standards for a free show.

Once the cops had loaded the still-protesting brawler into the back of their car, the Soldier gave Steve a thorough once-over, eyes lingering on the smear of blood under his nose. He pulled Steve into a careful hug. Sam tried not to stare at the novel sight of the Soldier initiating non-violent physical contact. “Ribs?”

“Totally fine.” Steve gave the Soldier an extra squeeze before letting go. “What about you, did you get hurt at all?”

“Strained knee. Your nose is bleeding.”

“Shit.” Steve swiped at the blood under his nose, made a face at his messy hand, and gave Sam and Tony a little wave instead of trying to shake hands. The Soldier dug into one of his belt pouches and handed Steve a wet wipe. “Hey, you must be Bucky’s coworkers. Nice to meet you.”

“You, too,” Tony said. It was more of a question than a statement. “Who the hell is Bucky?”

“Me,” the Soldier said.

Tony and Sam exchanged a look. Steve just cleaned his hands and threw the wet wipe away.

“Is that something we should call you, too?” Sam asked.

The Soldier shrugged. “Sure.”

“And hey, you should’ve said your knee was hurt,” Sam told the Soldier as they filed into the taco place–told Bucky, and that was going to be a weird adjustment. “We could’ve given you a lift.”

“It’ll heal,” Bucky said, entirely unconcerned.

“You guys shouldn’t rely on air support so much,” Steve said, eyes wandering over the menu. “Your team has so many fliers that it’s weakening your ground game.”

“Excuse me?” Tony said.

“You almost lost the third chimera when it went under tree cover because Iron Man and Captain America were both in the air, and Hawkeye and the Soldier were in elevated sniper stands. If the Black Widow hadn’t been in that quadrant already, the chimera would’ve made it past the SHIELD perimeter. Hey, Bucky, have you ever had mole?”

“No,” Bucky said. He was standing sideways in line, his back to the wall–and to Steve, Sam noted, who was apparently allowed inside his blind spot. “Is it good?”

“Yeah, I think you’ll like it. Want to split mole and pulled pork?”

“Yes.” Bucky slipped out of the line and went to stake out a booth.

“I know we make it look easy,” Tony said, “but saving the world on a weekly basis is actually kind of difficult, and we’re pretty good at it by now.”

“Oh, sure. All of you are brilliantly effective at what you do, but that means you’re not working as a group as well as you could. You’re all playing to your individual strengths instead of cohering as a unit. Hi, could I get one order of mole tacos and one of pulled pork?” Steve asked the cashier, his voice abruptly polite.

Sam distracted Tony with questions about Pepper’s latest gallery opening until they got their food and sat down. Bucky had managed to claim a corner booth by the kitchen and was sitting on the bench that faced the front doors. Steve climbed over his lap to get into the corner seat. Bucky slid a little further in after Steve sat down, in a move that Sam interpreted as 30% doting boyfriend seeking closeness, 70% bodyguard blocking potential lines of fire.

“Okay, so you think our ground game is weak.” Tony steepled his fingers over his plate and narrowly avoided putting an elbow in the guacamole cup. “Elaborate.”

“You don’t need two fliers and two snipers on a five-person team. The Iron Man suit is a walking tank, Captain America’s shield is a perfect melee weapon, and Hawkeye and the Winter Soldier are both hand-to-hand combat experts. There’s no reason any one of you couldn’t fight in close quarters. You need to vary your approach before the people you’re fighting catch on and start staging battles in places where long-distance engagement is impossible.” Steve dragged the wadded-up tortilla end of his taco through a smear of sour cream on his plate and passed it to Bucky, who stuffed it into his mouth without comment. “Any time you can’t fight from the air, you’re at a real disadvantage. Bucky told me about what happened in the sewers last August.”

Sam’s face wrinkled at the memory. Clint had almost gotten eaten by an alligator-dinosaur-thing, and the smell had clung to Sam’s costume for weeks.

“Oh, you heard all about it?” Tony said. “Fine, bantamweight, lay it on me. What would you have done instead?”

Steve’s smile went sharp. “Well,” he said, and shoved everything out of the middle of the table. “For starters–”

Sam pulled his taco plate into his lap to keep it out of the way of the rapidly unfolding model of the sewers, which Steve assembled out of straws and sugar packets. Steve moved the salt and pepper shakers (Iron Man and the Winter Soldier) through the grid, while the straw wrapper (Black Widow) slipped ahead to provide recon and a plastic knife and spoon (Hawkeye and Captain America) guarded the exits. Tony challenged every call he made, and Steve pushed right back, questioning Tony’s assumptions and demonstrating his own reasoning. Sam ate his tacos and put in his own two cents whenever he could get a word in edgewise.

Sam’s attention was split between the conversation and surreptitiously watching Bucky. Bucky didn’t react to anything that was said, although Sam was sure he heard every word. He looked more relaxed than Sam had ever seen him, like the sound of Steve and Tony bickering was a zen meditation podcast.

“Huh,” Tony said, halfway through their fifth iteration. “You have a point.”

“Yep.” Steve sat back in his seat and stretched out his back, all that startlingly intense focus draining from his posture. It was amazing how quickly he went back to looking like a nerdy grad student. Sam might have been fooled, if he hadn’t just heard Steve argue Tony Stark to a standstill, and if Steve didn’t have dried blood ringing his nostrils.

“You said he was a painter,” Tony told Bucky accusingly.

“He is,” Bucky said. “He also has a PhD in history with a specialty in wartime tactics and strategy.”

“Seriously, how did you two meet?” Tony asked.

“I saved him from a mugger,” Steve said.

Tony stared at them. “I honestly can’t tell whether you guys are fucking with me right now.”

“I know,” Bucky said serenely.

“Hey, Steve, you want a job?” Sam asked, because unlike some people, he had his priorities straight.

“I already have a job.”

“Come on, don’t tell me you just pulled that analysis out of your ass, you’ve been thinking about this,” Tony said.

“How would you feel about working freelance?” Sam asked. “You could do strategy consulting, be our eye in the sky on missions–”

“Help keep your Bucky-boo-boo safe,” Tony interrupted.

Steve gave him a level look, then turned to Bucky. “I see what you mean.”

“I’m choosing to interpret that as a compliment,” Tony said.

“Yeah, okay, let’s talk terms. Churros first, though. You want churros?” Steve asked Bucky, who nodded.

“I could–” Bucky started, but Steve was already climbing over his legs to get out of the booth.

“I got it.” Steve leaned over the back of the booth and kissed the top of Bucky’s head. He didn’t have to lean down very far. “You take a load off, rest that knee.”

Tony watched Steve go up to the counter, then turned to Bucky. “Okay, nevermind,” he said. “I get it. He’s scrappy, huh?”

“Buddy, you got no idea,” Bucky said, and stole the half-eaten taco right off of Tony’s plate.