#I have gone insane after this im gonna scream

[owollene]

FINALLY FINISHED MY FIRST ANIMATIC EVER YAAYAYAA!!! Pls enjoy this billford content that took me a very long week to make :')

[yanderefarm]

yandere vampire's pet introduction

cw;; yandere tendencies, blood, abuse, child abuse, manipulation, orgies, pet play, hypnosis

i love this little freak. there's a lot of information here bc i had a lot to say. he's so pretty and i love him so much one of my favorites for sure. im sorry to everyone who wants to be kind to him and treat him gently. im definitely gonna write about him getting bullied.

like I said before his yandere type is self destructive not like ares who is more traditionally yandere. so his content is less about him being jealous and hurting other people or you and more about his obsession. you're the only thing that matters in his life and it drives him to insanity.

silvan was born in a territory owned by a cruel vampire who purposely mistreated the humans under his watch because of how dirty he thought they were.

because of this it was hard for his family to find food so when he was a young child he was given to some low ranking vampires in exchange for human food.

that's how he got his scars around his neck. the vampires kept him for 3 days and nearly killed him before his blood started to develop a bad taste.

when humans are malnourished their blood starts to taste more like dead man blood which can be toxic to vampires. when silvan fell at your feet he tasted horrible, it wasn't until he'd been eating regular healthy meals for a few months that you actually risked trying his blood for the first time.

he tastes sweet. he's like biting into a perfect strawberry that's juicy and sweet without any tartness.

he believes that you're just inherently superior to him because you're a vampire. he feels like he needs to serve a powerful vampire like yourself that you're the only thing that gives his life meaning.

if he had been sired by you he would have been distraught and unable to cope with the idea of it. he wouldn't theoretically mind hurting humans. the problem is his self esteem and how lowly he thinks of himself.

he makes it no secret to you how he feels about himself. it's why his guilt tripping is so effective.

it also means that when he actually does something bad that earns him punishment he takes it incredibly hard. your servants will report his screaming and wailing so loud they can hear him if they go to that part of the manor.

you had to make his punishment room essentially baren so he wouldn't try to hurt himself. even the floors and walls had to be redone to minimize risk. it's basically a padded room.

you would expect him to lay on the guilt tripping extra hard after he gets out but he doesn't. his eyes are empty and his voice is just about gone. he's like a shell of a human being.

silvan will just walk around for a while like that. he'll hesitate to even go near you because he doesn't want to disappoint you again. he doesn't start to return to normal until you bite into him.

he loves when you feed on him. he feels wanted, needed even. you're so powerful and amazing there's no reason you should need him but you do.

he loves sitting in your lap while you drink. he'll run his fingers through your hair and babble about how happy he is. he just goes on and on if you let him, until he's absolutely woozy from blood loss.

he can't die easily because of the preservation procedure. he can withstand having his blood drained past the point of a regular human, he doesn't need to eat every day, he doesn't age. the only thing that could actually kill him is a deliberate attempt on his life.

you've robbed him of part of his humanity by turning him into a pet.

it's not like silvan cares though. you could take all of his humanity if you wanted. you could force him to crawl around like a dog for eternity and he would do so happily.

and compared to his home in the human farm his life is significantly better because he belongs to you. it's not just the fact that he's a pampered pet living in a lavish manor and eating whenever he desires. it's that he's yours.

he's met plenty of vampires by now, other lords like yourself included. no one compares to you. you can show him the bare minimum of affection and that is worth more than all the adoration he gets at parties.

some parties can be a bit too much for him. he's always willing to serve so if it's your will that he be passed around he'll submit himself to any vampire you decide. but sometimes vampires are too greedy, sometimes it reminds him too much of his childhood trauma.

he finds it hard to run to you for support, not because you're some cruel owner but because he doesn't believe he's worthy of your care. if he actually comes to you with a problem you know it's serious.

if he starts to panic or get upset while he's in the middle of being fed on and used by many vampires he can't exactly get up and run into your arms. that's when he finds his ribbon.

the first gift you gave him was a ribbon to tastefully hide his scars. you wrapped it around his neck like a dog collar. since then the original had gotten torn but you bought him a new one.

every one that got torn went to a shoe box in his room. he took good care of the one he wore around the manor but at parties they often got carelessly discarded by greedy vampires. you always bought him a new one, usually to match his outfit.

it was so important to him that he would use it to soothe himself when he was upset. it's presence was like your embrace to him. he would imagine your cold fingers gently touching his skin as you tied it on him. everything was ok.

not every party was a horrible slog fest. the small parties you and the other elite would have were the most fun. you and your friends would all bring your pets and while you talked business silvan got to spend time with the other pets.

he likes other pets because they tend to be the only humans who understand him. some humans have a deep resentment for vampires and they dream of revolution. some humans simply accept their lot in life and do their best while silently cursing their vampire rulers. it seemed like only pets understood the deep admiration for vampires.

silvan and the other pets would excitedly brag about their respective owners and gush over how cool they were. at least until the party turned to other things.

if you're an incredibly affectionate owner he'll become a spoiled brat. he'll still be self loathing but being sat on your lap adorned in all the beautiful things you got him is basically therapy. he doesn't ask for material possessions usually all he really wants is your attention. he interrupts your work, he crawls into your bed, he'll even accidentally barge into meetings with other vampires. he'll pretend to be your stupid pet who doesn't know better. he didn't know you were busy he just needed to see you so bad. the other vampires just watch his shameless smirk when you let him do what he wants.

if you're more of a tortured soul type vampire he loves you but you also irritate him a little. you gave him a good life because of how pathetic and sad he looked when you first met. you give him clothes, you feed him, you gave him a warm bed. so why won't you bite him? why do you wait until you're starving to finally feed on him? he's your property it's your right to feed on him. but you don't. when you finally do you're crying and apologizing. it makes him so frustrated he doesn't understand you. there's nothing more insulting to silvan than you not wanting to eat him.

if you're a mean owner it makes him feel all the more desperate to please you. he'll gladly ask you to take your frustrations out on him. if you want to see his face twist in pain you're going to have to get creative. you punch him, strangle him, cut him, anything and he has a big dopey smile on his face. he can so easily convince himself that you hurting him is your way of showing affection. as long as you don't lock him in the punishment room it means you love him.

as long as you let him stay by your side he'll remain your devoted and loyal pet.

silvan has a vampire kink. he gets so turned on by your fangs, your cold hands, your power over him. compel him. bite him. touch him.

with this comes a pain kink, a blood kink, and a hypnosis kink.

he's already obedient but compel him to make him quiet, dumb, and pliant. he'll jack off to the memory of you doing whatever you want to him for months.

it's hard not to notice just how much you drinking his blood really turns him on. especially if you're a messy eater. he has to physically restrain himself from kissing you and licking up his own blood.

if you're covered in someone else's blood he gets strangely jealous but still undeniably turned on. let him remove your bloody clothes or touch him with your bloody hands and he'll end up humping your leg.

he likes taking care of you. he's clumsy and overexcited but let him help you get dressed or take a bath or get you off. he'll do his best to show you the love you showed him.

he will suggest crawling under your desk and cockwarming you all day. but if you give a mouse a cookie.

he likes more traditional pet play too. put him in a proper collar and make him bark. call him good dog or good boy.

he's really skilled at taking multiple people at once. it's part of why he's so popular at parties. as long as you're not participating he'll be able to focus his attention on everyone.

if you're participating everyone else is chopped liver. he wants to show you how good a pet he is but he also only wants to touch you.

the rare exception is at the small parties with all your friends. all of the pets just get passed around. the first time he got really jealous of whoever you would put your hands on but as he became friends with them all the jealousy subsided somewhat. he knows they'll never want to leave their owners so he doesn't have to worry about them wanting you.

you're vampires of course you have to have cool vampire orgies. if you can't have cool vampire orgies what's the point!

his favorite position is either on your lap or with his legs over your shoulders. he wouldn't particularly care too much what position you had him in. he just needs you.

brat taming. if you spoil him you get to brat tame him and in return he'll misbehave more just to get punished.

he's the most fun to bully or mess with when you have company. he tries to be beautiful and put together eye candy by your side, he can hide his obsession with you for a little while. until you're pulling his hair or cutting into his neck. undo all the hard work your maids went through to make him presentable.

he can't hide how hard he gets when he's looking up at you and your company with tears in his eyes and his shirt stained with his blood. he'll play pretend that he's a miserable dog who's being mistreated by his owner but you're both well aware that he loves it. any kind of attention is good attention.

[lovexjoe]

Make a vampire smut where Armando kidnaps the reader

A/N: This is the 3rd request for vampire Armando and I got y’all 😫

Synopsis: Vampires can imprint 😌 Armando didn't realize what happened during a shootout when he first saw you. His heart stopped, the world slowed down and all his thoughts were consumed by you. A mix between vampires from twilight and vampires from tvd

It’s been 2 weeks since you’ve been trapped in this house with Captain’s killer. It probably had to do with the fact that Mike and Marcus made you tag along on a mission when you were suppose to be dropped off at home. Uncle Marcus had ONE JOB. Pick you up from class and drop you home, but no. With the discovery of Mike having a warlock son, you got caught in between everything. There was something odd about Armando. He made sure you had food, clothes and let’s you shower etc. He lets you roam around the house during the day time. At night though? He locks you in the basement. He was gone as soon as the sun set. He was handsome even you could admit that. It was a bit distracting since you got here, sometimes you couldn't help but stare at him. It was 9pm and you were insanely bored. You tried your luck by opening the basement door, to your surprise: it opened. Maybe this is your chance to escape? What was even out there? You looked out the window to see you were in the middle of nowhere and decided that it’s probably best to find a phone. Taking a risk in the forest is probably not the best way to survive. You rummage around the kitchen to see if you could find any device that you could use to contact your Uncle but no.

After 10 minutes of trying to search around you decided to give up. Yes you were kidnapped, but you weren't technically in danger. He is Mike's son after all he was probably just keeping you as leverage. You opened the fridge to grab some water and your heart stopped. No fucking way You heard Uncle Marcus and Mike talking about Isabel being a witch, but what in the entire fuck did she do to her son?!? The fridge was stocked up with blood bags, a few had a bite marks you didn't even want to identify. No....FUCK no. No wonder he was taking care of you, he was preparing me for dinner! You saw this bullshit on tv, but you didn't think it was actually true. You backed straight into someone and let out the first scream since you been kidnapped. Armando covers your mouth, his eyes a golden yellow with bloody veins. You were trying not to have a panic attack.

"Just relax. I was going to tell you." He slowly removes his hand from your mouth and honestly you should be heading for the fucking hills but your feet was planted in place.

"Why?!" If you were in his position you would've kept this to yourself. He constantly scans your face when he's talking to you as if he's trying to read your mind. Well I hope the fuck he can't cause I've thought some unholy shit and now im thinking of killing him!

"My mom did this to me. I don't think my dad realize that she was a vampire as well. We...we imprint on people whose suppose to be our soulmates. When I saw you during the shootout, I imprinted on you and I just took you away from everything" He leans against the island, looking at you. Wishing he could read you, but for some reason he can't.

So that confirms that you weren't leverage, but you were actually kidnapped cause he likes you. Hm. Do you scream now or later?

"If you come any closer I'll kill you!" You stated as you move quickly trying to find a way to escape. He appears in front of you and you slam full force into his chest. You grabbed a vase and threw it at him causing it to shatter all over the floor. You looked for the largest piece and cut yourself horribly trying to pick it up. You start to panic as he holds your hand filled with blood. He's gonna kill me, he gonna kill me, he's gonna kill me. He rips his shirt, creating a bandage to wrap your wound tightly. Your head starting to feel a little funny.

'A-armando I don't feel good" After that sentence you passed out into his arms.

Armando POV.

Sigh. I can't read her mind at all. She is the only person I have ever come across that I can't read her mind. Being a vampire is a curse and a blessing. The only reason I've been such a successful drug dealer is because I know what the other person is thinking. Always a step ahead, but with her? With this stupid imprint, I am lost for the first time. I find myself caring. I find myself wanting her. This shit is pathetic. During the shootout my first thing after imprinting was getting her away from the danger. Sure having her as leverage was a bonus, but now that she is under my watch I am not letting her go.

She passed out in my arms, I laid her down in my bed for the first time instead of the basement. Cleaning her wound, her blood smelled divine, I fought myself from taking a little taste. My body wouldn't be able to control itself and I'd feel too guilty if I were to hurt her. I tuck her in bed, sitting in the lounge chair in front of my bed, trying my hardest to read her mind. What could she be thinking of? ...fuck...

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: 　

The next morning you were sat on the barstool at the kitchen island. Armando was cooking breakfast. You admired his biceps in his white tank top. Your hand feeling a slight sting from last night's incident. You didn't mean to cause such a wreckage, but apart of you felt happy he took care of you last night. Waking up in his scent, under his covers did something to your core. He's leaving his mark on you and he hasn't even touched you. He's a vampire for god sake. You wanted to speak, but you couldn't find the words. After your steaming hot shower, Armando cleaned up your wound once again. Seeing you wrapped up in just a towel, your hair wet, body radiating coconut vanilla: it took his entire being not to touch you. You wanted him to touch you. It felt wrong but you wanted it.

"Armando.....I want you to kiss me" You blurted out. He turns around looking at you surprised. He turns off the stove, picking you up and carrying you over to his bed. You pulled him in for a sinful kiss. His lips are so soft. Where the fuck was this coming from? Yes you felt this, but it was wrong. Your mouth and body was already doing things before you could even think. Is he controlling you!?

Before you could even process a thought, clothes were ripped completely off and you were on top of him. His size was the biggest you ever came across, but you held him close and you rode him.

"Y/N" He moans out, his golden eyes drunk with lust as he guides your hips on top of him.

"B-bite me" You moaned out. He shook his head, he didn't want to ruin this moment by hurting you. You started to bounce up and down faster on his length.

"Bite me please! I want it!" You cried out, close to your orgasm already. In an instant, his teeth sinks into your shoulder and you let out a gasp.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

You jumped out of your sleep, sweating profusely. A set of golden eyes staring back at you seductively. Out of breath you looked around the room realizing it was still dark out, you still had on the same clothes from last night....

It was a dream....

[lunas-side-anime-blog]

aot veteran/104 corp icks bc im back on my bullshit

someone requested AOT veteran icks, they didn't specify nsfw or not so I did both and also added sasha connie and jean bc i luv them:) feel free to message/inbox with requests!

(levi, erwin, hange, jean, sasha and connie)

Levi

will visit ur place and organize things without you asking. he'd just be like "ur welcome, now your kitchen makes sense" and ur like sir, I don't know where anything is now??? also he'd def the type to proclaim he's better than you for only getting two hours of sleep when you got four. honestly so many icks come to mind for this one, imma limit it to those two for now (stay tuned lol)

nsfw: tries to be rough with you but forgets his own strength. will try to throw you on the bed, but he does it too hard so you completely miss the bed and fall on the other side of it and he's just standing there like "🧍🏻...my bad."

Erwin

you cannot convince me this man doesn't wear water shoes at the pool. you guys say you want a dilf until you actually get one bc this is the type of shit it entails^^

nsfw: erwin cannot dirty talk for shit. im srry but if you're a lil kinky this isn't the man for you. try to call him daddy and he'd be like "we don't have kids?" and you explain the kink to him and he'd just say, "have you considered therapy?🤨" now he's concerned, boner gone, you feel called out, just go to sleep tbh

Hange

they're def a firm believer in natural deodorant and won't take the graceful hints that it's not working. prob wouldn't chill w them on a hot day is all i'm saying

nsfw: feel like they'd be really good in bed tbh like i'm struggling to think of an ick. hange has big dick energy, weirdos just do it better idk. i think maybe hange would try to spit in your mouth (they a freak) and they have so much and its thick and globby like the back of the throat type spit, your gonna choke bro im gagging as a i type-

Jean

bring back toxic masculinity because Jean's hair care routine is so good to the point he'll call out your split ends, i just know it

nsfw: a fucking chatterbox like his homies know everything. you've walked in on him telling connie in extreme detail how he had you in a full nelson last night while you screamed bloody murder and he doesn't see why ur mad. "babe, if anything i'm bragging about you 😏" fucking idiot istg. also kinda gross but I think he's the type to keep sniffing his fingers after fingering you like well into the next day EWW

Sasha

obvi she can't share for shit so I think she'd be an annoying person to eat out with. like yk when you're with your friends and only one person puts their card down so the rest can Venmo them? I think you can ask her to Venmo 20 and she'd send 15 and say something like "oh I didn't eat as many fries" but she fr did. never puts her card down either so believe it or not? jail.

nsfw: will literally be on her phone mid-sex with you. feel like she'd be really into the subway surfer vids and yeah, you go down on her and look up and she brought her own entertainment? ipad child behavior

Connie

i think he'd say "we" when talking about his fave sports team as if he contributed. like, "really connie, you helped win the superbowl? did you score a touchdown?" grow tf up

nsfw: insane bush on this one, i feel like he doesn't groom for shit and whatever, that's your choice! but I also feel like college-aged modern connie would talk shit about women who weren't bald down there and won't eat it unless it is. HYPOCRITE!! I think when he gets to his mid-twenties tho he'd mature (sasha beat his ass)

[la-y717th]

im just thinking aloud here about the bad batch and the finale

1. literally so sweet, was so worried it was gonna have a sad ending

2. ADULT OMEGA

3. where is Cody?

4. WHERE IS ECHO??? he wasn't mentioned after the bad batch, but he clearly wasn't with them at the end. is he a part of the rebellion? did he die?

5. I'm like 99% sure that Omega was wearing Hunters red bandana at the end😭😭

6. i really miss Tech

7. Omega knew about the rebellion, which probably means someone's been keeping them informed. she mentioned that the rebellion needed more pilots, im thinking Omega and Hera kept in touch and Hera has been telling Omega about the rebellion. Hera was a fantastic pilot, and a significant member of the rebellion, so it makes sense

8. i thought it was weird to bring the zillo back, just to use it for Omega and the kids to escape. like i get Palpatine wanted to experiment on it, but it was literally kinda thrown away?

9. I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT INSTEAD OF CROSSHAIR LOSING HIS SHAKINESS, HE LOST A HAND

10. loved when the zillo beast escaped and Crosshair asked "Echo's handiwork or Omega's" had me dying and then they replied "Omega" with a sigh. like she's definitely their kid

11. Echo looking at the completely destroyed mess and saying "Omega definitely came through here"

12. "Causing chaos Havoc 5?" AHHHHHH

13. Omega running towards Hunter and Crosshair, but stopping and throwing herself at Crosshair after seeing his hand gone😭 THE GROUP HUG😭😭

14. "You're our kid Omega, always will be" SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP

15. Omega telling Hunter that their fighting is over, it's her turn to fight now. LITERALLY AN END OF AN ERA I WILL CRY

16. SHE HAS LULA

17. i really want to see what Omega did as part of the rebellion. like, she has qualities of all the bad batch, and her own. she learned everything they knew, all of their insane plans. and she's always had her own chaotic plans/ideas. i want to see those in the rebellion

that's all i could think of for now✌️

[zabala0z]

This season is making me hyperventilate a lot in a fangirl sort of way (but also in a panicked way BECAUSE WHAT??)

Hi! I got 5 episodes that I freaked out over. Come and hear my thoughts. You have to.

MAG 87: The Uncanny Valley

Circus. That girl is named like Nikola Orsinov which is the same last name as the ringmaster of The Circus back in like the mid 1900’s? So I’m assuming she’s a descendant and taking up the mantle of traumatizing people. Gertrude mentioned “The Unknowing” which Not Sasha mentioned before and like Leitner. In this context, it sounds less like a title and more like an apocalypse: not a good sign. ALSO THE MUSIC.

Not much to say for MAG 88: Dig besides I don’t wanna dig. Also the calliope organ is gone. Oh god. Feels like this circus is gonna be the main antagonist this season. Unfortunately I despise clowns

MAG 89: Twice as Bright

I went insane over this episode guys. I love Jude and hate her. The description with her coworker and his new house and baby and wife, I was just screaming, “no dont kill him!! 😭😭”. And she did. Not surprised. Like every word she spoke made me viscerally uncomfortable but she’s such an interesting character.

Also she like…likes Agnes, yeah? I clocked that after reading over the transcript. I’m assuming the entity shes under is like The Desolation cause I think The Lightless Flame is just the name of the cult. Poor Jon. Bros hand is not gonna be the same. Im hoping she appears again. Interesting that Michael Crew hangs around the Fairchilds. Makes sense since like every situation they’re involved in is the whole empty/alone/open area thing. I’m still thinking the entity they’re under is The Vast because that’s what Michael said before jumping out that window and I think I’m right

MAG 90: Body Builder

JARED HOPWORTH. Why did you open a gym, bro?? Like the moment I heard, “large guy-“ my brain, “oh yeah that’s Jared”

The whole flesh torso things, I guess used to be humans but Jared decided “I think they’d look cool without their arms” so that’s why he said “too soon” towards Davenport. Marie probably stole those femurs so I’m wondering if she got the whole bone altering power???

MAG 91: The Coming Storm

Holy shit. Jesus. Oh my god. First off, Mike was so polite??? Like he offered tea and stuff. And then that kinda changed when he like full of astral projected Jon or something. Or I guess he raised the air pressure. Props to the sound effects, I love them. I liked hearing Mikes story but holy shit DAISY. I love Daisy. But girl calm down 😭 actually I can’t even blame her

I was at the temple by the way, making garlands, and listening to this was a nightmare because I couldn’t make any outward reaction. So that’s why I went to a bathroom stall and freaked as Daisy kicked the shit out of Mike. Couple things though; the fact the tape recorder keeps turning on is def a concern. Pretty sure it’s The Eye. I don’t know if it can physically do much since it…watches but that’s what I’m thinking. But why? Is it breaking the 4th wall?

Basira coming in clutch ‼️‼️ Also, Jon getting info out of people is apparently not a natural thing. Makes sense why Jude and Mike told their whole story and even remarked on how strange it was they did at the end of it. It makes sense actually. Jon is truly the main character but utilized in such a great way. Oh he doesn’t die? It’s not plot armor, it’s just the all seeing entity protecting him. Everyone tells him everything? Yeah that’s kinda his power. Love it.

So yeah! That’s everything. Pretty terrified because there’s powerful entities and I’m scared someone is going to die. If Basira or Daisy die, I will cry. Actually if anyone dies, im a very emotionally attached person

[mugentakeda]

i just loveeeee the idea that there was a big gap of understanding between lu ten and iroh the same way theres a big gap of understanding between zuko and iroh. mistakes that iroh didnt realize he made with his son he then also made with his nephew and still not realizing it. a whole world of things about lu ten that iroh didnt know about, and will never know about. im gonna talk about it though because i am insane so look away from my cringe

lu ten had gone to his father with problems before, and iroh cant help but wonder, now, if his son had ever been trying to imply deeper things in between sugarcoated words because there were things you just didnt say in the palace, and irohs head had been so far up his ass he hadnt seen it. despite it being waved practically right in his face by his son, desperate for sound advice from his father, whos brain was too waterlogged by thoughts of how he was going to pull off his next bloody conquest. like how zuko was always howling for help, hurt and confused like a cornered animal, hidden deep under his fits of rage, and irohs head was Still so far up his ass that he kept meeting zukos silent begging for straightforward guidance with convoluted proverbs. he can sit here and bury his face in his hands in shame over the sheer amount of times hed failed his nephew without realizing, and how much convincing it'll take to get his nephew to understand that yes, iroh did fail him so many times, and he couldve prevented so much suffering simply by holding himself to the same standards he held his nephew to. all those times during those three years before the avatar returned that he couldve done something. sit here and think about how sad it is that he has to even try hard to convince his nephew such a thing, how sad it is that he finally got zuko to stop seeing ozai as some all-wise god that can do no error as a father, just for zuko to start seeing iroh as some all-wise god that has done no error as an uncle. but he can at least go and do something about it. he can never do something about what he did to his son. the things he knows he did, the things he doesnt know he did, and everything in between. he will never find out what lu ten truly thought about him. he will never have that reconciliation, that silent scream of relief and violent shiver in the crook of his neck that zuko gave when iroh yanked him in close after their separation, with his lu ten. he just has to hear about his own son through word of mouth and somehow be content with that. and worst of all, its all his own and his god damned family's fault. no amount of healing and learning by trying to do right by zuko and the world he helped nearly ruin not much more than a half decade ago can act as a balm for the agony that brings him. he knows healing his guilty conscience isnt supposed to even be a reason for why he helped the avatar, but god- it's when the rationality leaves him and he realizes that this is something he cant seem to make himself be the bigger person in. he knows its his own fault, that there are hundreds- thousands, maybe- of earth kingdom sons he personally stole from earth kingdom fathers, and only gave up on his siege when the consequences of his war came into his own backyard, but he cant help it. doesnt want to help it. hes still angry and hateful anyway. his son should still be here. his son should still be here. his son should still be here. and if he tells zuko about how much he still hates himself as both an uncle and a father, zuko will definitely rush to reassure him, all the while he is chained to his desk and meetings day in and day out, fixing this uncles mistakes best he can, losing sleep and forgetting to eat. none of it will mean anything to zuko, if it means he can make his uncle feel better. and if that happens, iroh might actually vomit in front of his nephew.

[bleue-flora]

Okay hi i have also been insane about Sapnap and Dream

You talking abt sapnap's limbo needing to be something very emotional and sad from dream's got me thinking more about themmm

Do u have any more detailed thoughts about how the finale could look if it was sapnap instead of tommy?

Mmm want to go off anon but im shy...

[context]

Ah yea sorry been a hell of a week and this got lost in drafts per usual oops. Well I was thinking about scenes that would be interesting that night:

Punz and Dream talking about the staged finale, him asking if putting the fish on the wall is too much. Maybe asking Punz if he thinks Sapnap will go along with it all or cause problems. Like try to defend him.

A scene where Quackity is torturing him and he screams for Sapnap because it would hit the feels, and Quackity going on about how Sapnap gave him this idea or something. “Aww are you gonna cry for Sapnap? He doesn’t care about you. He told be to bring this today, maybe it’ll make up for how you hurt him. Should we see if he’s right?”

Maybe a scene of Dream going to Kinoko with TNT in hand ready to fulfill his threat for his armor, but instead of doing so much as threaten, he crumples down and sits there on the roof watching Sapnap help Tina plant carrots, feeling tears form in the corners of his eyes. Maybe he tries to write Sapnap a letter and keeps scribbling it out until he gives up…

Maybe even witnessing the full context of the spirit speech like the black mail and stuff and then his outburst.

Maybe Dream doing something wholesome. Bonus points if after prison. Something that falls inline with “my Dream.”

Maybe Dream after their confrontation sitting alone and sad that even after 11 months every one (especially Sapnap) still hates him…

I’m pretty sure I had more thoughts at the time I wrote this and then was interrupted and they are since gone, sorry. I always held out hope that Sapnap and him would work things out, and I think that’s partly why that scene right after prison break destroys me, because I can just feel whatever Dream’s hopes for his future outside of the vault being crushed as I too realize that reconciliation isn’t in the cards after all. (This idea cemented when he makes a deal with XD)

As a random though, I wonder if Sapnap would try to get Dream and Punz to stop like Tommy mentions towards the end… or would he just join sides, given his more ambiguous morality and less sense of being the hero. I don’t know, hard to say, he doesn’t make perfect sense to me (something I talk about in the autism essay). So trying to predict what he would do feels like roulette, but I do feel like there is an alternate timeline where it’s Sapnap instead of Tommy in that scene…

[madebyteenagefury]

unfiltered first reactions to gpi as if i were livetweeting because i think it would be funny (spoilers below!!):

are these 12 year olds or do they just talk like that.

can i touch it, dawg WHAT

dont even know their names but i already love em and only want happiness for them (may be because they strike me as children) (update they were children)

why did bro bite his hand

WHERES THE OTHER BED GOING. NO. HOSPITAL?? NO!! NOT AGAIN :SOB:

i need subtitles oh my god,,,ADULTS NOW!! i see. doug. theyre in suits and he has a bandage yall boutta kiss rn?? OHHH FUCK ohhh oh man. boutta be so fucking sick over doug aw shit

"his name is assface!" oh babe.

"you know." oh BABE. oh fuck.

think about what all the time???????????????? THINK ABOUT WHAT??????????

this is so 'are they lovers' 'worse' and nothings even happened but so much has happened.

ooooh five years

corey. THEY KISSED(before)!!! FUCK!!! MISSING TOOTH!!!

this hurts ohmy god. screaming. theyre gone.

two beds again?? are we flitting between times. 13 ahh yes we are oh i love this so much. what if i hit corey with the autism beam. what then. doug is so me im gonna lose my mind. like when theyre kids. auughh

DO YOU WANNA PRACTICE KISSING?/ SAWG???god thats the gayest shit ever. everyone who says that never means it casually change my goddamn mind YOU CANT/lh doug fucking w first kiss logic is hilarious yes king.

oh my god hes throwing up. DOUG NOO AHAHAH. fellas is it gay to throw up in the same can after kissing.

augh one bed again OUGH HOSPRIALo ohh no. 28. dont do this to me. not after falsettos.

hey again! hes not responding. kms. NOO IS HE IN A COMA OH FUCK

"im trying not to swear so much" giggled

"her"?? dawg no way THEY HAVENT SEEN EACHOTHER SINCE HIS EYE??? oh fuck me man. babe stop saying rtrded please. hes moisturizing his fucking hand oh. MY GOD.

you cant marry her cuz what about me?? SAY YOU LOVE HIM ALREADY FUCK

OOO TWO BEDS. THEYRE CLOSER!!!! ONE BLANKET!! OOOOO!!

18 fuckin called it. 10 yrs ago. thin mints slap hes so real for that. the knocking on his cup shouldnt have tbeen that funny. giggled. okay theyre so besties but like this is so gay. bestie behavior but. they love eachother. (doug is mad about not knowing that corey's been having sex, which like id be upset if my bestie didnt tell me too i get it but correct me if im wrong, this feels insanely jealous

"cuz youre too youung!" YOURE FUCKING EIGHTEEN???

im so sick over doug HES SO ME FUCK ok fuck.

im so. insane. fuck. "whys everyone gotta be so mean?"

"youre not a faggot. youre not" ohhh ow. oh oh my god

okau so when he says :you have blood on your jeans. when did you start [that]: i cant make out what he says or what theyre talking about im assuming its sh??? if so?? fucking ow kill me??????

timing of me watching this. fucking wild. did not want to cry tn (im not but were dangerously close to it)

I CAN NOT FUCKING DO THIS OH GOD

milo when i get you. milo when i fucking. get you./lh

"youre the best thing thats ever happened to me" after THAT?? FUCK ME MAN WHAT THE HELL

he better be fucking awake or i swear to god.

33 OH FUCK MANHES HAWAKE HES AWAKE OH FUCK OH THANK GOD. FIVE YEARS AGO/?? COREY VISTED HIM FIVE YEARS AGO. is he in a mental hospital?? oh boy. these boys are fucked up.

theyre fucking soulmates. i will NOT be taking criticism. WHY ARE YOU LYING YOU BEGGED HIM TO WAKE UP ASSHOLE. doug makes me want to hold my own heart in my hands and feel it beat. dawg why u lying.why is corey mean to him :(

ohh parallels. oh they. hurt. differenty. but the same. ohhhh my god

"because i might not make it back"

if one of them fucking dies. i stg. 23 10 yrs back. wait this is the first bit again/? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR TOOTH. DUDE. OH FUCK.

criyng at dougs speech after the kiss.

oh fuck OFF. only the poster wtf

i need the playlist they got. 38,,,

i went "hes fucking dead isnt he" and he rolls in. "im gonnakms"

"dont touch me corey" sobbing.

pleading with my screen for it not to end like that and its over.

milo. oh my fucking god

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for getting into a screaming match with a neighbour after he harrassed me for months for being sick?

im gonna start this by saying i dont *think* im the asshole. i more just wanted to share this insane story and maybe get some other points of view on it.

i (22nb) got really sick back in april. like rush to a&e multiple times sick. i tested multiple times but it wasnt covid. it later turns out my cold-like symptoms and my horrendous cough were caused by allergies. it took about 3 months to finally dull it down and feel okay again. i take meds everyday and im still not 100% because the allergen (pollen) persists.

but in this 3-month period of me being sick we found we kept getting knocks on our door. it was our upstairs neighbour (approx 50m). the first time he knocked at 3 in the morning to complain about how my coughing was keeping him awake. he rambled through the door for like 15 minutes about my coughing and demanded we move our bed to the front room so he couldnt hear my coughing anymore.

i, having already been feeling guilty and anxious about being sick because my fiancé (27m) had to take care of me and i lost my job over the situation, decided i was gonna go for a walk. i was really upset and i wanted some fresh air (which at the time i thought would help).

the next morning, the neighbour came down again to inform us that we should keep sleeping in the front room until i recover because he slept so great that night. we informed him that we in fact did not sleep in the front room and i hadnt even been in the flat.

a few days go by and we get another knock at the door. its thankfully daytime and hes talking through the door again. hes demanding that we move into the front room because we are the ones causing the noise disturbance. (once again, i am very sick. paramedics were round at our house 2 days prior to look me over).

we say no to this and he says hes going to get our estate agent to resolve this because we, and i quote, "are being selfish".

a few more days pass and our estate agents inform us that theyre coming to do an inspection. naturally they get here and they want to know my fiancé and i's side of the story. we tell them im very sick and they are very understanding because the neighbour said as much when they put in the noise disturbance complaint. they tell us not to worry and theyll tell the neighbour that hes being silly.

two or three weeks go by and we hear nothing. until one day, whilst my fiancé is at work, he decides to harrass me personally because he knows im home alone. he demands to know exactly what im doing to fix this, tells me how its bothering our other neighbours (who had said nothing to us) and tells me its affecting his quality of life. (i was the one coughing so hard i was vomiting for about two weeks but his quality of life was the one inconvenienced???) in the end, he slinks off back upstairs like usual and i then ring the estate agents to complain about his continued harrassment.

this happens again another time when my fiancé and we start arguing through the door again. it was pretty much like the last few times.

but then, heres where we might be the assholes of the story. after weeks of repeated knocks and lengthy complaints and demands, he knocks again. it was 8am, my fiancé was still sleeping for work. my fiancé woke up to him complaining at me through the door again and lost it. this man was knocking to ask if it was okay to move back into his bedroom because the coughing seemed to have gone down. he wanted us to assure him that i wouldnt get sick again. we opened the door to him for the first time (after giving warning) and got into a screaming match with him. of course in the time it took between giving warning and opening the door, he had scurried upstairs and was yelling at us from there.

i think theres a possibility we are the assholes because the screaming match would have been heard by our downstairs neighbour who was not involved in this at all. we did write him a letter to apologise for this but i still feel kinda shitty about it.

i went back to the estate agents after and reported him again saying if they didnt deal with him, id look into taking legal action for harrassment. its been about a month now and weve heard nothing from him since.

What are these acronyms?

[localfanbaselurker]

First time watching Voltron: Legendary Defender and documenting my thoughts

This is Season 4

S1-2 | S3 | S5 | S6 | S7 | S8 |

———————————————————————

<this one is going to be shorter, as I have only recently finished this season, and the grief is still fresh (lol), so the thoughts are only just starting to simmer. strap your asses in>

Pre-Season 4 Thoughts

-> Keith joining the blades is going to be a huge plot device, I feel

-> PLEASE for the love of CHRIST let that poor little girl find her brother and father. If they are dead dreamworks better be ready to catch these hands

->I’ve heard people claim this is the “last good season”, but i stay strong 💪 and will watch till the end

->wouldn’t the paladin switch not make sense now? Cus shiro is back as the black paladin and it makes no sense for Lance to be red like it originally had? If anything, he should’ve gone back to blue, and Allura to red, because Allura is very accepting/encouraging of shiro’s role as leader. I guess they didn’t wanna do it all over again. But I digress 🤷‍♀️

->im gonna miss my Pookie (🤍❤️🤍)

Post-S4

->do they do this every two seasons?? Have an epic battle where they have a big preparation and say it’ll 100% end the war but it doesn’t and something crazy happens after they win and it sets up the next season??

->FUCK YEAH PIDGE GOT HER BROTHER BACK IM SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP 💪💪🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️🙏🙏🙏🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

->^genuinely cried so hard during this scene. would’ve cried more if I wasn’t recovering from the initial shock.

->^cried during this one too, but it was happy tears. I could actually just do a whole reaction post to this episode alone. (if you want me to js say so in the rbs/replies)

->the callback to s1! “color-coded of course, because what are we? animals?” AHHH! I’m going insane I love these siblings sooooo much

->okay I’ll stop gushing over them now

->^only valid reaction to meeting Allura. Homegirl is beauty incarnate

->I LIED. im not sorry im never shutting up about them. SHE SHOWS HIM AROUND THE CASTLE AND TELLS HIM EVERYTHING AND EVERY DETAIL AND SHES SO EXCITED CUS SHE JUST GOT HER BRO BACK AND IS JUST RAMBLING ABOUT HER NEW HOME AND ALL THE COOL STUFF SHES BEEN DOING AND HES JUST LISTENING AND IS SUPER EXCITED WITH HER AND ITS SOOOO AMAZING AND ADORABLE AND I COULD DIE

->AND THEN HE TELLS HER HOW THEIR DAD WOULD BE SO PROUD IM DYING IM LITERALLY DEAD STOP.

->AND AND AND THEY WERE ALL WORKING TOGETHER W HUNK TO MAKE THE GALRA TRACKER THING AND THEY WERE BEING SO COOL WITH EACH OTHER AND BEING NERDS TOGETHER AND AND AND AJEUWNDUWJEBEURBDGWUDKAODHD

->okay. ive calmed down. i am normal and can be trusted to simply watch a show.

->^Get his ass, Zarkon. I needed his smug ass to be humbled so bad. Only time I will agree w Zarkon fr.

->i do NOT like Lotor. Can you guys tell already??

->THE SCENE WHERE THEY TRIED TO GET MILKSHAKES AND WERE SHOCKED TO FIND OUT THAT YOU NEED TO MILK A COW STOP.✋ 😭. My high-score on the giggle-meter went up by 300%

->bro I SWEAR shiro looks different. there’s just something about him. the hair gets a pass cus how good of a haircut can you give yourself in space, yk? but that nose scar is definitely a different shade #notmyrodrickshiro

->THE VOLTRON SHOW.

->^Just. That entire episode. It’s getting a whole post actually I need to yap about it.

->^her armor is colored in a way which makes it look both pink and red while making it look like a trick of the light in a way to symbolize that she is acting as keith yet while being a paladin herself and that being unknown in the public eye and showing how they have to cover that up, any suspicion being thrown as a trick of the light. Oh vld animators ily 🫶

->on another note tho why do they always draw lance and shiro to have 30 pounds of ass. what.

->loved when those lesbians decided to take down lotor. Queen shit 💋 we stan 🙇‍♀️🙏

->Lotor is so stupid and pathetic and annoyingly smug and sus and admiral-zhao-y and I hate him but he’s SOOO FREAKING HOT and I can’t hate him completely because he’s so attractive but that just makes me wanna hate him more. He’s a walking red flag but the flag is heart-shaped and honestly idk what to do w that.

->^WHAT. stop. honestly that’s the real reason he was banned from the empire my ass would not want that fucking FREAK within a 30 light year radius of me either

-> while s3 was the klance season, s4 is apparently the allurance season, they have a lot of sweet moments. (granted all started by lance but still, you can almost see allura swooning)

->^pookie. what are you doing… pookie.. no. stop. i don’t like where this is going…

->^POOKIE NO. STOP. ✋ STOP. SAY SIKE RN.

->^oh thank fuck for Lotor.

->^^wait what. why Lotor.

->^^^heartbreaking: worst person you know doesn’t something good for once.

->he definitely wants something out of this. I don’t trust him.

These are thoughts I’ve had compiled for some time now. I will continue to post my thoughts on the tag “laura’s first vld”

I finished this season on 06/30/24. I am on S5E3 as of today (07/06/24)

[the-wrat]

Hello tumblr would you care to see my reactions to the burrows end finale anyway here they are:

(thanks for reading if you do i guess)

god new Tula is so unhinged and I love it like wtf is that jumpsuit idea

implications of lukas knowing about cocaine are stoats have either done it or like watched scarface or smth right

"twerking on a gearshift"

god I hope they ram the humans

noooo thorn

oh god oh fuck oh pants oh sheeeyiit.

my god the flying squirrel scene is right out of an animated kids movie

holy moly the arc from refusing to understand anything to "well, help us understand"😭

RIP Carlos Luna gone too soon

absolutely loving this new map scale

well this is gut wrenching (both figuratively and literally)

wait is Siobhan from the forest? why is she going back to the forest

this time on burrows end:

Iyengar and Mulligan: Rules Lawyers Divided

(good on Brennan trying to twist the effect tho, it was worth a shot)

oh god the betrayal poor bhint baby

oooooooh shit oh pants oh dammit Aabria why

I hate this

I resonate so much with Brennan's dead inside voice rn

if Jaysohn dies I WILL riot

Jesus fucking Christ in hell people

oh im gonna be so emotionally devastated after this

I may never recover

KILL IT JAYSOHN FUCKING KILL IT DEAD

HELL YEAH JAYSOHN CATCH THE BULLET

so frikin cool thas the pants (meant like that's the shit)

man that baculum is tough, huh?

of course the villain in the story wants to bomb everything it's a cold war era story

love the new york accent meat suit thing, 10/10 bit

wow radiation bad whoda thunk

I think i need an image of jasper screaming to react to stuff with

I second the Emmy nom

wait it's called the dimensional dome??!?

this is pantsing insane

oh my god they won I didn't even think this was possible

no not Jaysohn please not Jaysohn I'll do anything cmon you can't do this please no. help.

okay he's not full dead we still have hope ppl.

ah yes nuclear power plants, well known for having their own ice cream trucks.

okay I fully forgot about Lukas is bhint baby okay

ooohhh beans

oh.pants.

final sacrifice?

past Tula really said "all I wanted was to fall asleep, close my eyes and disappear"

this is so sad but that was a truly amazing speech

oh nooo an epilogue time to see how my prediction of "bittersweet" turned out. somehow, after all that, I think it's not gonna happen

peace and love bb

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

stoat pres!

man the whiplash of going from almost crying to "Kenji do that little dance"

Dr. Stoat!

oh shit they never said a stoat couldn't play sports!

literally hyperventilating Air Jaysohn is real and he made it to the Olympics

do they have weight classes in long jumps?

BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN SWIFTER THAN THE WIND PANTS YEAH!!

[blacknight2221]

Loving you- Carl grimes x poc reader

So this is my first time writing a fanfic so bare with me :)- Jessie

Warnings: angst, self lothing, depression, running away, zombies, death, no happy ending, afab reader

'It was pouring rain the day that it happened. Curly hair sticking to my dark skin as I hold my knees. What do I feel? Why do I love him? Why can't I stop loving him? It was supposed to be a good day, but on our anniversary of all days, I caught him with her once again. Her hand touching his beautiful locks the way I do, his laugh, his smile, his hat? Why was she wearing his hat? She doesn't know about me. No one does. We decided to keep it secret. I decided to keep it secret. You wanted to tell the world I wasn't ready to commit to titles. Looking back at it now, it was idiotic hiding you. Hiding us. I felt like next to you I don't belong. I'm not pretty, I'm not smart, maybe. Maybe I should disappear. Would you even miss me, my love? If I were gone. Without a trace. I pondered that as I arrived home. Losing Glenn has left a toll on my home and he was like a brother to me. Now he's gone, Maggie is pregnant. I was never good with babies. I was terrible with Judith. I thought you were amazing at it. One day you will make a great father. Enid would be a great mother. I don't hate her. I don't hate you. Well, maybe I hate her. I saw how happy you were with her and it always got under my skin. I stand packing my bags now. I know if I speak to you, I will calm down. Carl, you will take me in your arms and kiss me, making it better. Is it wrong that is what I want? To have you kiss me and make it better. Make the way I feel go away. I didn't take everything. I left my brothers' varsity jacket. It kept me warm all these years. I can still see him wearing it, throwing that football around. God, I used to be so mad at him growing up. Now I just miss him... I figured it brought me comfort after he was gone from my hands, in which I had to give him mercy from the monsters in our world. It will give you comfort as I find mercy from the monsters in my head. Loving you was the one thing I did right. It was wild and insane and when you lost your eye, I nearly died. I spent all my time worrying, but now you're safe.... I am leaving safely to go out in the world. By now, I have probably kissed you on the lips and said good night....you had no clue I would be gone in the morning.... it's not your fault. I know you blame yourself for the world's problems. Do not, my love.  I wanted this.

Forever yours, Y/N'

Carl looked over the letter for the third time, a look of panic on his face. He knew his girlfriend was always quick to react without thinking things through. As he grabbed his gun and gathered Michonne, Daryl, and Rick, he ran in search of his lover, his light, his life. Carl lost so much but he never expected her, his y/n, his darling, his baby, the reason he still fought as Carl searched, he stopped as he stepped on something. A pool of blood. The male turned to see drag marks. The air caught in his throat as he walked closer to see the bones. Bones everywhere, blood, bones, her clothes, her hair, bloated zombies...3 of them so fat they could not move, blood all over them, all over the scene, her curly locks in their mouths with hunks of flesh and scalp still that they could not swallow. His y/n.....

"Loving you was the best thing I did. You are probably with my mother now. God I'm a mess...how can I live like this? I will never see your smile again? Your curls bounce as you run? The sun in your hair!? That chip in your tooth from when you tripped on your feet at the prison?! Big brown eyes staring at me so lovingly!? Come back! Please! I'm sorry! Im sorry!" The male screamed at the cross in front of him, tears running down his face "Please.... I'm never gonna stop loving you." He whispered as he sat over the grave knowing there was nothing in the dirt below.

I hope you liked it!!! It was my first time doing this kinda thing:)-Jessie

[midknitefox]

My reactions to Dr who's newest season cuz I'm just now catching up (I forgot to keep watching after episode 1 so I'm on episode 2. anyways. spoilers below the cut.)

BRO NO WAY.

I WAS GWTRING S1 DR WHO WIRH ROSE VIBBES ALR IMSBSJSBSJSBSJSBSHSHSJSB AAAAAAAA

episode 1 doctor saves ruby Sunday from this crisis thing that she's somehow gotten herself into.

ep2: space station in the far future. "my mums long gone now isn't she" "let me see your phone"

STOP THS ABAHSVSJZBAJBDJSNSJSZN

IM GONMA CRY NOOOOO

Rose was my favorite companion (probs because I started watching new who when I was young since It came out the same year I was born. probs a mistake since I dont remember anything that's not Clara or Rose tyler. anyways.)

she's a blondie with a leather jacket and. and.

idk I'm going out on a limb comparing their appearances but tHE PHNE THING

Rose handing Eccleston her flip phone vs Ruby handing Gatwa her modern phone I'm (I don't have pictures but just trust me I'm going insane. I started rewatching s1 recently for nostalgia so it's fresh in my mind.)

watch "I'll catch you in a minute merry christmas" turn into "Hi I'm back after half a year what'd I miss" 😭 if they do that ima be real mad but I'm sure they won't cuz that wouldn't make SENSE. do keep in mind. I'm only on episode 2..

what the fuck. talking baby. I'm losing my mind this is so funny OH MY GOD. IM SORRY IM LOSING IT THIS IS INSAN

"when was the last time you had a hug?" "never" casually breaks down in tears.

stop

stop fr stop "nobody grows up wrong. you are what you are and that is magnificent."

can u tell I'm going insane

the doctor scaring the babies is so funny to me help 😭

ok this is depressing.

"I've met a million ugly bugs. IM an ugly bug." lmao. doctor. I love you.

HOLY SHIT BABIES WITH A FLAMETHROWER

she reminds me of rose I'm going to explode man...

SJSJJAHSJABSJSZB "Ruby it's snot!" "it's not!" I'm crying 😭

NOOOO NOT THE BOGEYMAN THE DOCTOR LOOKS SO SD ☹️😭 MAN why this episode so. man..

this is so sweet but the babies speaking is so surreal to me it's uncanny......... help what ????

AND SH GETS A KEY TO THE TARDIS? HOLY SHIT THIS IS. Im losing my shit :3

I love them screaming like teenage girls

and bros laying down the "we can't go to ur past to this pivotal moment in your life to meet the parent you never got to meet"

I feel like rose could've used that lesson, huh? paradox avoidance moment when rose created a paradox and now they're visiting mum ok! is mum gonna find out about and OMG JFHZJZBSJSHSJS. "TELL YOUR MUM NOT TO SLAP ME" IM GENUNELY GONA CRY HELP. PLS OH MAN.

What the fuck does the screen thing at the very end say wtf is happening huh???? now I'm just CONFUSED STOP DOING THIS ARGH

ok I was planning on watching episode 3 next and writing down my thoughts but I can FEEL MY HEART RACING as if I just drank half a can of monster so I need to CHILL. OK thats all I have to say bye !!!! I'll probably do this again tmr !

no I'm not fixing any spelling errors I misspell things when I'm excites it happens

[pinkelotjeart]

you brought this upon yourself buddy

SO

Q!SLIME

AHGIEUWGFIWEUBFIWPUEF

im only gonna talk about q!slimes lore here so if you want to know more about the qsmp world as a whole just tell me and it would be my pleasure to explain it to you all you need to know is that: people were on a train, the train leads them to quesadilla island, shit happens there is an evil organization and they are stuck here

oh also they have kids

basically, all the people on the island got got paired up (one english speaker with one spanish speaker) and got an egg 

this is the egg phil got if you were wondering, his name is chayyane

and this is charlies egg, juanaflippa

charlie got paired up with mariana (mariana is fucking amazing btw i could also talk about him for hours)

now about flippa: shes canonically a trans girl,shes allergic to bees, grass, detergent, and fish and probably more stuff that i forgot, has a gun and shes a very sweet kid she deserves the world now slime and mariana weren't the most healthy couple. Charlie calls Slime “bitch wife” and mariana has been caught flirting with other men but they do both very much care for each other and they also VERY much care for flippa

i should also mention that the egg have two lives. If both lives are lost the egg dies forever

now everything is fine and dandy till flippa has her first death her first death was because of neglect

you see, if an eggs parents don't do tasks with their egg (ex of tasks are: reading a book to them, drawing with them, cooking something for the egg, etc) and, because mariana and slime didn't log that much on the server at first, flippa lost a life both slime and mariana were fucking desrtoyed and logged in regulary after that to make sure flippa didn't lose any more lives

also slime made a deal to the devil, yes the actual devil that is canon to the qsmp, in order to get a gun for flippa. the deal was that he had to kill chayanne (phils egg) and flippa would get the gun and slime did it!!

later when phil when to kill charlie, flippa shot him dead :]

happy times pass until

untill flippa loses her secod life So when the eggs go to bed they have very cute custom made bed skins?textures? idk but they are very cute here's an example of flippa in bed

very cute

so while mariana was watching over flippa while she slept, he did something that  is still remembered by the qsmp fans and gives us and the cc war flashbacks everytime its mentioned he misclicked while having and axe in hand he clicked on flippas bead and broke it and both flippa and the bed disappeared people started freking out everyone thought flippa was dead and one of the most insane qsmp events happened the trial

slime accused mariana of intentionally killing flippa and took mariana to court  (slime also maybe talked about killing all the eggs but thats not important rn) the trial is probably my favorite qsmp stream and even if you don't plan on getting into the qsmp i suggest you watch slims pov of it its genuinely so great

to make a long story short, the trialhappens and flippa gets reserected hurrayyyy

all is well everyone is happy things are great until flippa dies a third time mariana and flippa were exploring a dungeon and they got swarmed by mobs and while trying to kill the mobs around them,  he accidentally killed flippa

so flippa dies. she isnt coming back and slime may have gone a bit crazy he was/is consumed by grief he went into exile and lives thousands of blocks away from everyone. he tried to kill everyones elses egg but failed and even tho he stopped wanted to kill them and now lives them as a uncle, he still gets sad when he sees the parents and their kids together hes kinda stuck in limbo, he tries to get better and make progress and heal, but his grief still holds him back a lot

also maybe he turned into a green egg named gegg and maybe there is a monster that is impersonating flippa but my fingers are screaming in pain rn lmao so thats all ill say for now

if you do want to learn about gegg and codeflippa and maybe bolas please just tell me and i will happily come back to info dump some more :]

You know I absolutely lost it at the part where they gave the egg a gun - wnjdjwndjw I love the insanity of that all gosh. This is kinda as much as I was expecting cus I did know some stuff about the eggs- but I am enjoying the combination of angst and absurdity.

I think Bolas is the thing I’ve seen the most about- or atleast I’ve seen allot of cool fanart without context I’m curious 👀

[teecupofcement]

So weird saying all of this, I think I can get it out properly? I don't know if I will delete tomorrow or if this will stick this time, all I know is that after I post this? I think I'm gonna continue on like I normally do.

Tw for mentions of self harm suicide going fucking goddamn insane shit like that!! Fun!!

I'm sorry for this

Okay. Okay here it is, here's what's going on, I can only explain the fucking FUCKK During A Episode but my mind is so scrambled I'm going insane but Fuck no more paranoia I feel like I can do anything but now I'm scared of myself. I can't explain it when I'm in an episode without sounding like this cryptic ass!!! Let me fucking live!!!! Please!!!! My symptoms don't fucking match up with any of the thing!! What is this!! It's depression and manic episodes I've almost died. I will try to tag this maybe I can find others, but what the fuck dude!!! Okay. I know bipolar has a chance to be passed down genes. Yep but this is so severe!! "I want to kill myself" "no you don't." "I feel like I'm going insane" "you aren't going insane"!!! When will it fucjhng end!! When will I be heard?? What the FUCK am I gonna do tomorrow when this ends? And I gonna delete this, or am I gonna try and not?? Fuck!!! What if I fucking mistag it!! Getting a new therapist is taking too long!! I'm too fucking young for this !!

I can try and explaj, okay so depressive episodes right? Fuck yeah right!! They aren't just "oh my mood is down right now," and feeling depressed, even just laying in bed and crying, for me it's fufkicn uhh feing lkke im going insanr, i need to do research on psychosis becaus that might take a role or not but this gwnuinely makes me feel like i can just. Slice. Slice my arms wide open. Wake up tomorrow and pretend nothing happened and when my family is screaming and calling the cops I'd laugh and say "what??" !!! What the fuck!!! This will happen eventually if I can't do something about it!! It makes me feel like I can just. I have so many bookshelves in my room right?? Yeah. Bam now I just wanna knock them all onto the floor and make a small bed on the floor. When my sibling walks in they will be like what the fuck :D!!!! Maybe this will show them I am going insane, but I just wanna know why it's different. Why this is beyond the bipolar criteria ? Is this ? It feels beyond humanity. I feel like I'm breaking out of reality but what is that!! Answer me!! Is that what they call "psychosis" or am I just unique!! Will o find someone that takes this? I will find someone that relates? Fuck no!! I'm fucking alone!! I'm fucking alone in this!! Oh and Great now I have a weird fucking attachment randomly to my mom!! I feel nothing without her sometimes!!! It's gone away but I couldn't fucking LIVE with that shit. I can't fucking live with this shit! I'm fucking tired!!

No fucking wonder Everytime I felt "this down" in a now depressive episode labeled, we split! We fucking split more and more Headmates and now they're all here to prevent me from killing myself. They won't let me?? Fuck now I just wanna run away!! Oh they won't let me?? Even better!! Fuck I'm so sorry for this, I need to get this out I'm sorry. J don't know what's wrong with me.

Depressive episodes are different than what meets the bipolar criteria. I feel like I'm breaking reality.

My mom has been misdiagnosed with bipolar before. I told her about these episodes that come and go for only a night. She said bipolar disorder. She didn't know though, that I have been doing research on bipolar. Because I thought that's what's wrong with me. But now I'm a fucking dumbass. Maybe it's not. Maybe it is. I always try and fucking guess instead of trying to explain this shit to a professional first who has the right thought. It's always "oh I suspect I have this" bullshit. I'm tired of myself. Why can't it be "I suspect you have this.". I'm the goddamn imposter here. I'm tired.

I just need a sign. What is this. Why is it beyond