#I have been writing nonstop for almost 2 weeks now LOL

[zephyra-in-the-house]

I've been reading a lot of other fanfics to keep myself sane while waiting for the next chapter of Second to release and I never realized how much you write like I've read entire fics in a single sitting and thought "hmh i got time for more reading" and then read 1/2 of another fic. idk if this makes any sense its currently 12:04am where i am and ive been up since 5am

Oh dude I know exactly what you mean man I always sit here and think to myself "Yeah I write a lot but it's not like a HUGE amount" and then I go back and read my older chapters and I'm like.... This took me almost a whole day to read/process 😆

[mirohlayo]

F1 DRIVERS TAKING CARE OF YOU

WHEN YOU'RE SICK

including mclaren, ferrari, mercedes + verstappen, ricciardo & gasly

warning : mention of medicine, pure fluff

note : been sick for almost 2 weeks now so i thought about this idea lol

!! english is not my first language !!

ᦈ OSCAR PIASTRI 81

his poor heart cries in pain seeing you so weak. he hates when you're sick because sickness take off your positive energy which he adores much. so he makes sure you're warm enough under triple blankets, double pillows under your head for extra comfort and some movies playing on the tv. call him and he'll be standing right next to you a second later, ready to help you with anything. ask for cuddles and he won't think twice before joining you in the bed and pecking your face. he still want you to takes your medicine even though you're recovered, just in case, just to be sure you won't get sick again.

ᦈ LANDO NORRIS 4

his poor baby is pin down on the bed, coughing and sneezing every single minutes. he hates it, he wants to see you smile again, he wants you to feel better. he would stay with you until you feel good, arms around your body as he let lazy and soft kisses everywhere on your face. especially your lips. you'll probably scold him because he'll get sick too but he doesn't care, he wants to take care of his baby, it's just his job. he reminds you to take your drugs and also makes sure you have everything you need, and if not then he'll bring it to you as quickly as possible.

ᦈ CHARLES LECLERC 16

as soon as he knows you're not feeling well, he would run to you in a hurry. he would also panic because it's not in your habit to get sick. he'll call his mom to get advices, he wants to do his best to take care of you and your poor state. try to act confident in front of you but internally stress because he doesn't really know what to do. still he manages to keep you in a good mood, he makes you laugh but you just end up coughing so he stress even more. but don't worry he'll be the sweetest, showing you with loads of kisses and cuddles because either him can't get enough of them.

ᦈ CARLOS SAINZ 55

now this guy would 100% know how to manage with his loved one being sick. like he just used to it and he perfectly knows what to do and what can make you feel better. he'll put you on the bed, and wrap you in a huge blanket. he even writes a schedule for your drugs with precise times. he'll cook the warmest meals and makes you tons of tea. sit next to you to keep an eye on you, sometimes you ask for kisses and he can't refuse them, pressing his soft lips on your forehead. you say that he's doing too much for you, overreacting the whole thing. but he would shrug and reply that he just wants the best treatment for you.

ᦈ LEWIS HAMILTON 55

he doesn't really like when you're sick because he can't get along with the picture of you being stuck in the bed, a tired expression endlessly on your face. but on the other hand i feel like he'd love playing the doctor. like he'll be so much caring, asking you every little minutes if you're feeling better or not. he won't rest until you're completely recovered. also would be the type to play some music, because he knows how much it comforts you. he'll put your favorite tv show and slide under the blankets and cuddle you until your body is warm enough. and also constantly rubbing your back or arms, just full of love for his lover.

ᦈ GEORGE RUSSEL 63

he has to deal with you being pretty sick and he doesn't wait a second to take care of you. maybe first will scold you because you don't wear enough warm clothing or you just don't pay enough attention to yourself. he doesn't like that, so he reminds you to always cover yourself with extra gloves and scarf. and then he feels bad seeing you in that state. he always feels panicked whenever you're coughing a bit too hard or sneezing nonstop. like a worried expression is stuck on his face. he would lay down on the bed next to you, mumbling some "my poor baby" and things like that. you'll tease him later about how much worried he looked for you but he doesn't care because it's just his way to show you how much he cares about you.

ᦈ MAX VERSTAPPEN 33

he's extremely caring and sweet with you. he becomes softer, acting super gently because he doesn't want to hurt you. stuck on your side like the world will stop if he's not keeping an eye on you. he would bring you to the doctor even if you just have a little fever, he's just so worried about you he doesn't want you to get sick. but manage incredibly well with it. he's the best because he does whatever you ask him to do. make you laugh ? he transforms into a comedian. not warm enough ? he joins you and cuddle you so close to his body. need some rest ? he'll take a nap with you in his arms, pressing kisses here and there until you're fully recovered.

ᦈ DANIEL RICCIARDO 3

at first he thought you were joking about your state. but when he came home and saw your tired body and face on the couch, he knew it wasn't funny at all. he feels so bad and he knows he has one job : take care of you as best as possible. but he knows one remedy that always works. his humor. whenever you're feeling off or sick, his humor always lifts up your mood. so while giving you your drugs, he'll talk about funny histories, or anything that can makes you laugh. and it works so well because despite the pain you're able to laugh. and he loves it. also pecking your whole face is one of the best medicine. but you can be sure he takes good care of you.

ᦈ PIERRE GASLY 10

know how to handle the situation. like he would transform into a doctor as soon as his eyes saw something was off with you. forces you to stay in the bed, a crazy amount of blankets over your body. you tell him it's fine but he doesn't listen and keep adding more warm stuff. he would gives you princess treatment, ask for anything and you'll got it. also makes you different types of tea with all the different flavors, and it'll just ends up in a tasting session. he would also never shut up about his science, explaining you how people get sick. but over all, he's happy to stay on your side and feeding you with lots of kisses

[choccy-milky]

Finally had time to catch up on the raven and the snake. I am just in awe of everything.

Also, I kinda like Clora hanging out with Garreth and Leander. (don't kill me 🤐)

aw thank you!!🥹💖💖im happy to hear it! and NO i wont kill you, you are so right. the garreth/leander/clora hangout was my fav part of the chapter and also the most fun part to write, and it gave me an appreciation for the leander and garreth dynamic, which is amazing

i now headcanon their relationship like brothers LMAO, garreth constantly badgering leander and getting on his nerves, while leander is just exasperated in dealing with him (BUT IN A FRIENDLY WAY) theyre like characters in a sitcom tbh BAHAHA (and to anyone wondering, im gonna TRY to have the next chap up within the first week of feb!🙏 ive just been busy with the dark relic comic + work + and now i feel a bit under the weather. ive been sleeping almost nonstop for the past 2 days LOL oop)

[ffgallery]

oh hey uhm THIS blog exists gee whiz, it's almost like it's been in the back of my mind nonstop,

right so this won't be very formal but iv'e been meaning to write this for some time now; i originally put this blog on "hiatus" because of some engine issues with the game which resulted in graphical bugs regarding cubemaps ( models in HDR using LDR cubemaps which for whatever reason had a gigantic exponent making every metallic model glow like the sun, the game refusing to build/pack cubemaps for different dynamic ranges, other jank ) and other things. the issues COULD be manually fixed but at the time i didn't want to bother with every map i'd go over, having to spending hours fixing one bug.

howEVER, Fortress Forever has recieved an engine upgrade to SDK2013CE, which fixes many graphical bugs, and with like zero extra work makes SDK 2006 compiled maps look like 2 times better. the beta branch on steam has been live for like a week now & is intended to go public tomorrow ( as of me first writing this ). the update introduces some graphical issues of it's own ( namely, the engine versions handle alpha channels on shaders differently, so transparency looks quite different where it's used, especially on water, which is either almost invisible or almost fully opaque ) but it's LIKELY to be patched while in beta.

this means that MAYBE this blog will return to operation. when? idk lol ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but there's a high chance it will. i'll probably queue up like every map i can so the blog just coasts on it's own without chance of me fucking something up again, but i'm not sure on that yet. when i start with the "new wave" of posts i'll probably private the old SDK2006 posts.

i forgot what else i wanted to say with this post oh right Yes, people still play this game. Every day. :) we wouldn't have a new steam beta & an engine port if nobody played it dumbass. you can know when ( & how ) to play in the official discord, everyone is invited to join in on the fun, we've got both pubs and pickups organized nearly every day, most if not all timezones are covered.

okay i actually can't think of anything else to say now

[always-andromeda]

𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗶 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿

I was tagged by @emeraldmoth and @forgedinmyheart about a week ago for this and I'm so sorry I'm only now getting to it!! Thank you both!!

𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗴: Missing Out by Maya Hawke (I've been listening to her almost nonstop lately)

𝗳𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗿: Yellow! Huge fan of yellows and oranges in general!

𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴: I haven't really had the time to get into a show lately? But I've been making my dad watch Supernatural with me for the past few months and we've finally gotten to season fifteen!! And I really want to rewatch Yellowjackets soon since all the talk about season three being in production has me so hyped.

𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗲: I watched Mean Girls with my brother on Mean Girls Day earlier this month and it was so fun (I haven't watched many movies this month rip)

𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗯𝘀𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀: Primarily Red Dead Redemption 2. And the Until Dawn remake has reignited that hyperfixation lol. The only other big thing that's coming to mind it the resurgence of my love for pumpkin spice. I know it makes me so basic but I don't care; I have no shame lmao. I make my own pumpkin spice lattes for class, I made pumpkin bread and pumpkin cream cheese a bit ago (they were delicious), and I'm already wanting to make these pumpkin muffins my mom used to make when I was a kid. Ugh, I'm a fiend for pumpkin spice rn.

𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝘂𝘀: Single (for now 👀)

𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗴𝗹𝗲𝗱: chicken and dumpling soup recipe (I am having a craving lmao)

𝗻𝗼 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗮𝗴𝘀: @babygorewhore @burntheedges @steph-speaks

(I like to tag folks who I've recently reblogged writing from in these but no pressure if you don't want to participate or already have! Just take this little note as me saying I love your work again lol 💛)

[lightadarttomendyourheart]

idk how i'm going to feel in a few months, in a month, even a week. but i know how i feel now. and right now our trip in july is literally all i can think about. you are all i can think about. our journey. how we got here. to this. planning a 2 week trip together where you come to canada and where i go to the UK after.

THIS is what i live for. this is what i want my life to be. i know maybe it can't always be like this, or it won't be like this forever. but this is what i am fricken talking about. what i've been missing for 3 years. this is what gives me life. what i'm passionate about. this is the kind of life i want to share with someone. planning trips and adventures. but i don't want to just be looking forward to something all year either and then when it ends i'm like what's next lol.

either way. you&me. weekender. anjunabeach brighton. it's happening. and i wouldn't want to be doing it with anyone else.

and like i said, maybe after weekender i'll feel differently. i know i did after mike came to visit me. but idk, this is different. yes, i'm obsessed with you, but we haven't even seen each other naked! i was so infatuated with mike and the physical aspect it was wild. with you it's not like that. but the anticipation is there. it's been building for almost 4 years. and honestly, we may even know each other less than mike and i did, because we talked nonstop for months after hong kong. and even in hong kong, we had so many days together. we have never spent a FULL day together, just us. but i'm so fricken ready. we haven't been in contact for this long for no reason. there's something there. there has to be.

and all i can say, is i am so ready for my heart to get torn right out of my chest. i really am. i haven't felt this way about someone in god knows how long. years. it's been YEARS PEOPLE. give it all to me. the obsession. the tears. the unknown. the long distance i miss you so much it hurts until i can't breathe. the how can i go on living a 9 hour flight away from you. hit me. i know i'll probably regret writing this, but i'm ready. 3 years with jake has primed me up for the most wonderful love of the ages. that's us. i know it is.

[bee-bee-writes]

“Why Can’t I Kiss You Pt. 1”

Prompt: A series of fics where for various reasons you can’t kiss your boyfriend and he decides to take this way too personally. 

Character: Atsumu Miya

Tags: Whiney Atsumu, Insecure Reader

WC: ~1.9K

A/N: Yo this is my first every writing account, I’m very scared lol. I really appreciate if you read this warms my heart :)

❤❤❤

"Achoo" You sneeze violently in a tissue before tossing it in the large trash bag near your bed. You roll over to check the bag and cringe when you notice it's almost full.

“Mom”' You call out. 

Silence… That means it's 4pm then. She said she’d be out of the house by by then. Ugh. You slump yourself back to your bed rest as you grumble your dilemma. 

It's the middle of spring who expects a slight cough to be a week-long cold in surprise. Now it’s Thursday and despite how grimy and tired you feel, and the nonstop snot pouring out your nose this has been the best day of your cold yet. Speaking of mucus, you feel a cough rise in your throat. You rush to the box of tissues on your side table and cough it out. You squirm at the clear mess in your hands and toss it into the overflowing bag. And with that the box is empty. 

“I had to get up eventually…” You whine as you push off your covers. “Woah! Not on my watch” A voice boomed. You quickly look up to see your boyfriend Atsumu Miya beaming right at you with a tray in his hand. “Hi, baby” You keep staring at him wide-eyed stuck in the same position as earlier. He walks into your room and places the tray and his school bag on the coffee table near your bed. You look down and find a bowl of porridge, a plate of clumsily cut apple slices, and a bottle of medicine. “Y/n. Helloo. You’re amazing, reliable, and handsome boyfriend came by for a visit” Atumu quirks his eyebrow at you as he waved at you from across the table. You snap out of your trance and look up at your concerned boyfriend. 

“W-wait what are you doing here? Is my fever spiking again” Before you could get up, Atsumu rushed to your side. “Wait are you serious? Hold on” He freaked out as he pushed his bangs aside to put his forehead on yours. You flinched at the sudden contact as Atsumu wrapped his hand on your neck to pull you closer. You glance up into his warm brown eyes and see so much worry and care. You feel your heart skip as he moves away to put his hand on your forehead. 

“I think your forehead’s fine, y/n. But if you feel woozy let me know okay” He leans down and gives you a peck on your forehead. He smiles down at you soft and wide, before heading back to the table for his school bag. You touch the top of your head and watch your boyfriend rifle through his bag. The last time you saw him was at a home game for his volleyball team on Friday. Since you got sick over the weekend, you’d gone almost a whole week without seeing him. Sure he texted and called to check in, but it’s so different having him here and getting affection from him. You feel your skin warm up, but you know better that it’s not from a fever or the blankets that surround you. You smile as you think about the light kisses and attention he gives you. 

“Hey Tsumu, how’d you get in here” His head perks up at the nickname and a goofy grin spreads on his face before a pout appears. “Why? Are you trying to kick me out? I just got here” He slumps on the table and gives you his puppy eyes. You roll your eyes, but Atsumu chuckles at the big smile on your face. He sits up and beams at you staring into your eyes. “I got a call from your mom that she’d be out today and she asked me to visit and keep you company” He put his finger up as he began to count. “So 1. I love your mom and I’d do anything for her 2. What better time to dump your missing school work on you” 

“And?” You giggle while wrapping yourself in your blanket. His eyes sparkle as he laughs with you. “And, obviously, I missed you baby! School’s so boring without you now” He leans forward on the table and pouts at you again. “I might be back tomorrow, but I can’t promise that. I’m still feeling pretty sick, but not as bad as earlier this week so we’ll see” You blew him a kiss as he groaned, while catching the kiss you blew.  

 “Oh yeah, your school work!” He grabs a pack of papers and walks toward you. 

“You’re amazing boyfriend and friends were able to convince your teachers to give you a month to catch up on this week’s material. So make sure to thank us-” You and Atsumu looked at the source of the crunch sound and your eyes widened. Atsumu stared at your overflowing trash bag, before turning to face you. You flinched suddenly aware of how gross it must’ve looked. “Do you need me to toss out your bag” You nod. He begins to pick it up. “Is there other stuff you wanna get rid of” You quickly grab the empty tissue box and a half-empty water bottle to hand him. Atsumu takes the trash and drops it in the bag while tying it. As he turns around, you cringe at the bag he’s holding. Suddenly you feel worse as you glance at the scattered pillows and half-opened drawers about your room. 

“Hey babe, do you need anything else from downstairs?” Atsumu’s voice brings your focus back to him. You shake your head. Then pull the blanket closer to your body. “N-no” You cough into your elbow. “I’m good babe” He stares at you for a moment longer before nodding and giving you a soft smile. Then he disappears from your door frame.

You feel your heartbeat pick up and your stomach drop. You tug your knees and feel tears trying to prick your eyes. 

‘I’m so disgusting. I can’t believe I let him see me look like this. My room… I’m such a mess’ You turn away in your bed to muffle your cries.

“Hey! I know you didn’t say you wanted anything, but I got you some tea-” Atsumu’s eyes widen when he sees a blob of blankets against your bedside window. His eyebrow raises as he places the tea on your coffee table. He takes note of the untouched apples and porridge. He replaces the trash bag near your bed, before taking a seat next to the blob. “Do you know where my girlfriend went blob?” His voice has a little laugh in it as he looks back at your hidden figure. You whisper back, “I’m actually feeling kinda bad again. So..” You can’t find the words to explain. ‘I’m sorry for being so gross. You must be disgusted’ Your thoughts begin to run wild again as you both sit in the silence.

“Y/n”. Atsumu’s voice felt like a pin dropping in the silence. You worried if the blankets wouldn’t hide your shaking. You hummed back at him. Atsumu turns to face you on the bed. “Am I… bothering you somehow? If so please tell me” He pleads with you. You bite your lip as you hear the sorrow in his voice. 

“I’m sorry you have to take care of me!” You yell out. “What?” You can already imagine the confused look on his face. Your face begins to warm thinking about how embarrassing what you’re about to say is. 

“I-I’m all gross and smelly. And I've been hacking up snot since Sunday. I just. Ugh, this is so stupid” You shift on your bed and muffle the rest in your pillow. A quick silence fills the room again before you feel Atsumu tug on your blankets. 

“What are you doing?” “I really, really, really need to see your face right now” Atsumu whines. You pull back on the space he tugs on and he taps you back. “Let go” “No, I can’t” “Y/nnnn” Both of you go back and forth tugging for a while. “Baby” You drop your side of the blanket as he drops his. You sit up but remain covered. Atsumu shuffles closer to your figure. “Can I please see you, Baby? I miss you Y/n” You can hear his pout in that last sentence. You start to blush at how cute he’s being, but don’t respond. He sighs. “You leave me no choice then Y/n” He mumbles as he crosses his arms next to you.

“Darling. I really miss you. Can I see my baby again?” He asks with a deep voice. Your face begins to burn as you feel blood rush to your cheeks. “T-that’s illegal! You can’t use ‘that’ voice on me” Atsumu snickers and you can hear the smirk in his voice as he continues, “But darling, I really miss you” You turn towards your window again and push down the noise your heart is making. “Y-you can’t call me Darling either” He presses himself against you and wraps his arm around your shape to pull you closer. “Can you pull this down for me darling” He tries again. He tugs the blanket near your head. 

You slowly pull the blanket down. You face away from him, embarrassed for completely different reasons now. Atsumu laughs at you as he drags your head into his neck. “I’d do anything for you. I’d carry mountains of homework packets, fight our teachers to give you all year to catch up on your work, and most always be by your side for anything” You lean into his shoulder and feel your heartbeat slow down. 

The room begins to still and all you can focus on is Atsumu and your heartbeats. He leans over to give you a peck on your forehead. “I don’t care that you’re sick” He gives you a quick squeeze and gets a giggle out of you. “I love you and I’m so glad I get to take care of you like this” He hums and he cuddles closer to you. As you lean into your boyfriend, he grabs your chin to focus on him. He brings you closer to his face. 

“Ow!” You slam a pillow into Atsumu’s face and he glares at you. You glare right back and wiggle out of his hold. You hold up the pillow as a shield. “What were you trying to do?!” “Trying to kiss my girlfriend, you psycho” He fires back. You can’t help but laugh at this scene. He looks so mad with his pout, but you can’t help but giggle at him. 

“Tsumu I’m literally sick” “You let me kiss you on your forehead a while ago though!” He whined.  You burst out laughing at his response. He tried to give you puppy dog eyes and another pout, but you just threw your pillow at him again. He slowly fell off the bed as he began to groan. You leaned over to laugh at his suffering as he sat next to your bed. 

“But babe, I haven’t seen you in like a week. The last time I saw you was after our game on Friday. Pleaseee” “You’re so dumb” You laughed as he whined. 

You decide to let him off easy and lean down to kiss his cheek. But right as you reach down you see a glint of mischief in his eye, but it’s too late. He turns his head and sneaks a kiss on the lips from you. “Noo” “Yess” He cheers as he falls on your floor. “What’re you gonna do if you catch my cold now dumbass” He looks back up at you with a love sick grin

“Be grateful, I have such a cute girlfriend to take care of me”

[spookyboywhump]

yeah you almost definitely have burnout lol. burnout is different from writers block and art block in that you’re not lacking inspiration, you’re lacking in energy. which, for you, is absolutely understandable, seeing as you’ve been writing things almost nonstop for the past two years. just take a break from it, and i think not letting yourself write for a month is a great idea! or at least, not until you have the energy to. another thing to do is never force yourself to write, because then you’ll start to see it as a chore and then you won’t really want to do it. i did this to myself in the beginning of 2020 when i was pushing out 2-3 comics a week on top of the art i was making, and i still feel the effects of that now. just take it easy for a bit, your writing is amazing and you’ve already written so much for us, it’s totally cool if you need to take a break! 💙💙💙

At this point I really don’t have much of a choice but to take a break, if I keep trying nothing I make will turn out good,,,,, I’m trying to just focus on catching up on video games and making bracelets for my Depop, hoping that will be enough to rest the brain from writing. I’m almost finished with the main game for Pokemon Legends: Arceus, hopefully gonna finish that tonight! I don’t know if I could go a full month but we’ll see how long I can do,,,,,

[dreadnought-despair]

CLASS TRIAL 1 - Progress Report #4

despite everything i still like the energy of the old version lol

sorry this is late i had a depressive episode and have lost all sense of the passage of time. but im still mostly on track to have this out by the... end of the month?? maybe first week of july?? progress as of 6/14 under the cut:

WRITING: ~99% done (with the first draft)

ALMOST THERE... the last chunk of the trial has the most new stuff so it's taking a little longer than the rest, but i've also been editing/proofreading the earlier sections as i go!

MINIGAMES: ~80% done

still wrestling with anagram gambit

climactic deduction DONE

nonstop debates now have skippable text

all selection screens are workin

the newer minigame is a bullet time battle equivalent and the code is almost done!!

ART: ~60% done

CGs (1/4)

sprites (10/20+)

banners (12/14)

climactic deduction comic (14/14 DONE!!!)

minigame art assets (2/6?)

MUSIC: ~90% done

13 tracks pretty much done

1 in progress and 1 to go!! there's a couple more i may add if i have time tho

also been experimenting with sound effects! it'll be a lil work to get everything set up but OH the serotonin of the little danganronpa noises playing as you scroll down the page

WEBSITE: 100% done

bf found a couple bugs after i sent him a wip build but i think i got em fixed!

experimenting with hosting on itch.io so it's easier to download a standalone version-- 60-70mb is still less than a 5 minute youtube video, but stuff will always load faster if it's already on your hard drive haha

this week i wanna try to finish the music and get the minigames working!! that's gonna be the biggest factor in a release date so hopefully by next week i will actually have a Day and Time

[kusagrasskusa]

Light X Reader Part 2 - Betrayal

Part 1, Part 2

READ THIS PARAGRAPH IF YOU'VE RESD PART 2 BEFORE- So this paragraph used to talk about how I kept on remembering to save my drafts, and evidence of which isbthat when this was posted, it wasn't finished. I completed the whole story, and it was pretty long, but it all went to shit. So if you read this story before, feel free to check out the real ending.

@comradedani you brought me deep into the Death Note fandomm- And again, sorry for the low quality writing. I'm writing this at school lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Y/N, Y/N help! I messed up!" B/N yelled as he busted in Y/N's room and opened his schoolbag. He pulled out a piece of paper and turned it towards his older sister so she can see. Y/N sounds around in her chair, facing her brother.

"Jesus, you scared me!" Y/N huffed, reading the paper B/N had. Turns out he had a report card in his hand; one with 3 Fs, 2 Ds, and 3 Bs. "And those grades scare me more, what the hell," Y/N stated, a sly smile appearing on her face. "Dad's gonna be pissed when he reads that, haha," Y/N laughed, leaning back in her chair.

"It's not funny! You know dad's all about good grades and ever since his detective work increased, he's been more stressed about grades! I don't want to get grounded," B/N retorted, making a pouty face. He put his report card back into his bag and picked up his bag. "And dad usually comes home at this time. You know he's gonna be curious."

"Well, just don't tell him you have your report card," Y/N said casually, returning to her homework in front of her. She leaned on the desk, writing down answers as if they nothing.

"Oh, why didn't I think of that," B/N rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Mom gets emails from my school, Y/N. She's gonna find out about and tell dad, y'know." B/N sighed, fumbling with his hoodie strings. He opened the door and spoke, "dad's gonna be home soon, so bye I guy." He then left.

Y/N sighed, trying continuing to work on her assignments as if nothing happened. Although her focus was never fully on her assignments anyway, and our reader should know why. It's hard to concentrate when your mind keeps on going to the man you love who you felt betrayed you. Though to be fair, Light and her were never dating to begin with however Light was completely aware of Y/N's feelings towards him yet he choose to put her in that situation: where she had to be calm even though she was hurting inside.

Y/N took a deep breath before leaning back in her chair and shutting her eyes tightly. Don't let the tears fall, you're too strong for this, she told herself. For the past week, she's been feeling nonstop regret and of course, sorrow. Not to mention pure jealousy of Misa Misa; a pretty, popular model/actor. She refused to question how Light got to meet a women like that, since afterall Light was popular as well.

"You know what? I overreacting," Y/N said to herself, standing up sharply in her chair. She stretched her arms before taking a deep breath and putting on a smile. "There's more important things to worry about; like that damb Kira case. All I need to do is just call him and ask to meet up, right? He's forgiving..." She told herself, taking a deep breath again to ease her anxiety.

For the past week, Y/N had been thinking nonstop about her yelling at Light. She hadn't seen him sense, and there's been no communication between them. From a certain perspective, it almost seems like they really are overdramatic and acting very edgy, which is definitely true to an extent. However two friends arguing over something that's pretty serious for the first time is bound to cause some trouble. And when one friend feels almost betrayed, it gets worse.

Anyway let's go to B/N after about 15 minutes.

"Good afternoon, B/N," the tall, H/C haired man with grey ends due to stress, spoke. He held a nice smile on his face as he took his jacket and put on the coat hanger then took off his shoes. B/N smiled nervously, chuckling unsteadily as he waved.

"Hi, dad! Uh...how was your day?" B/N asked, holding his report card to his chest. His dad raised a brow and snickered.

"Strange. You never care to talk to me when I get home. Only when you're hungry or your mom says no to something," he teased, making B/N huff and cross his arms. His dad chuckled, "I'm joking. Anyway, what's that you're holding?"

B/N smirked nervously holding out the paper for his dad to grab, which he did. "I got my report card today, haha." His dad scanned over it for a few moments, frowning and his eye brows furrowed together.

"Are you skipping school son? I've never seen grades this bad and you've had rough years," he mumbled as he walked towards the living room. He say on the couch and sighed loudly, making a shiver crawl down B/N's spine.

"Nuh-no... It's just that the teachers have been putting a lot of pressure on us since we're about to go into highschool, heh."

"I don't understand. Are you just not understanding the material or are they putting too much work out?" The dad looked his son right into his eyes, making the atmosphere a bit more tense. B/N felt weak under his eyes; it's not because he was scared of his dad, it's because his dad has really high expectations and he's scared of failing them.

"Both. It's both," he mumbled, fumbling with his hoodie strings and tapping them together, making that quiet metallic clinking sound. "And I've always struggled with math, too, y'know. I don't understand how they expect me to know the Pythagoras Theorem after simply giving me 5 assignments daily about it."

The dad stood up from the couch. There was a moment of silence before he spoke: "I have to make a phone call. If you go to the trunk of the car, I got you something in a plastic bag. Don't tell your mom," he smiled to his son as he walked away, leaving B/N both confused and curious.

A few hours later and Y/N hummed to herself, watching a movie featuring her favorite actor on the couch besides her dad. He was on his laptop typing away on the keyboard while occasionally glancing at the TV. B/N was in the corner of the living room, playing a new game his dad just bought him on his Nintendo. It was quiet aside from the TV playing, at least until their dad spoke up.

"So, son, I forgot to mention who I called earlier. I asked if a coworker of mine would mind tutoring you for a bit."

"You...what?" B/N asked, pausing his game and turning back to see his dad. "Why?" Y/N gasped quietly, covering her mouth to stop herself from laughing. Her little brother glared at her and their dad, his nose scrunching up from annoyance.

"Well, you don't understand the material, right? That's why?" He explained, staying the obvious. Y/N giggled at his tone.

"Who is it, dad?" Y/N asked, rubbing her tired eyes.

"Oh, I won't say. But you two have met before," he replied, smirking playfully at his daughter as if he was planning something. "That's all the hints you get.~"

"Okay, now I'm so curious," Y/N mumbled, yawning. Who do I know who he works with? I know he works with the Kira investigation and I never met anyone there, I don't think. She shrugged it off as she kinda didn't care too much about whatever would happen in her brother's life since why should she? "Whatever. I'm tired," she mumbled as she rubbed her tired eyes. Her father looked over at her and smiled.

"Heh heh, alright darling. Get your sleep; you have a long day of school tomorrow." Her dad pat her head as she giggled and stood up. She hugged him before mumbling a goodnight. She then headed up the stairs, though she overheard her dad speak as she was walking. "Your tutor lives in the same neighborhood so he will come over shortly after you come home."

Y/N hummed as their conversation went quiet due to her being too far up the stairs to hear. She found her way into her room and closed the door behind her whenever she got in. Huff. Her hair was lifted from her shoulders as she put her hair in a ponytail in order to keep it from being too messy when she wakes up.

Layjng in bed, she furrowed her eyebrows together and sighed. Four entire weeks since she's talked to Light all because he found a girlfriend. Y/N felt more embarrassed of it then upset; well, she's still jealous but she knew she didn't have to avoid her friend of years because of something so stupid. What happened to the Y/N who would tell herself that even if he found a girlfriend, she would be better? Those were good times. And she would tell herself that she would call up Light and ask to meet up as friends but she gets so anxious about it and that anxiety turns into embarrassment.

It was kinda hardt to fall asleep with thoughts circulating her mind all night. But eventually, sleep came, and she sokn found herself waking up a couple hours later, going to school, and then coming back home.

Y/N waved goodbye to her friends as they dropped her off at her house. "Bye! Haha," she giggled as one of them stuck their whole body out the car window to yell out goodbye and wave her hands.

"Bye-bye, girl!" She yelled playfully as the car drove away to drop off her other friends. Y/N giggled again as she watched them pass and playfully rolled her eyes before spinning around. She took her time walking to the front door and pulling out her keys, as the door isn't unlocked ever and her parents are at work. Yet as she stuck her key into the house, the front door cracked open.

"....What the fuck," she mumbled as she took her key out of the door and pushed herself inside. It was so quiet which was weird considering B/N was loud as hell on the couch when he got home. He got home like 15 minutes before she did too. "B/N!" Her voice called out as she shut the front door and locked it.

"I'm in the kitchen!" Thank God he isn't dead. Well, sorta thank God. Y/N smirked as she set down her bookbag, took off her shoes, and took out her phone. She checked her notifications as she walked into the kitchen/dining room.

"You forgot to lock the front door," she said as she giggled, looking up from her phone. Bam! The phone hit the floor as Y/N's eyes stayed on Light's, almost like a staring contest was happening between them. Well, it sorta actually was because the brunette who was assisting B/N on the dining table spoke up once Y/N blinked.

"You blinked; I win, heh heh," he smirked. "Hey, Y/N! Long time, no see, huh?" He leaned back in his chair, waving his hand towards the stunned girl.

"I, uh...I wanted to call and meet up with you but I thought you were mad," Y/N said shyly as she picked up her phone. Blush dusted her cheeks as she examined her phone to check if it were broken.

"Same here, actually. I'm happy it's not like that."

"Muh-Me too, heh..."

Y/N but her bottom lip nervously as the room went into an awkward silence. B/N sighed before breaking the painful silence, much to Y/N's relief. "I think I understand this now," he said. "To find A, it's C^2 - B^2 = A^2. To find C, it's A^2 + B^2 = C^2."

"Very good!" Light smiled warmly as he pulled B/N practice assignment from him and examined it. He had a red pen in his hand and with it he marked a few things. "You did very well on these, apart from 3, 7, 8, and 12. But then again, those questions were hard for me to solve when I was in 8th grade."

"Really? But you're so smart! And I'm actually in 7th grade, advanced math," B/N said proudly with a cheerful look on his face.

"It really shows how smart you are, heh heh," Light chuckled as he handed back his assignment to B/N. "Can you try these again? I circled the part of the equation you messed up with so hopefully it helps."

Y/N was across the room in the pantry to grab chips. Once she grabbed her favorite kind, she headed out of the kitchen and towards her room. Light looked over at her leaving and sighed. Suddenly, he heard Ryuk talk. "You do realize that this is a good thing, right? You can spend more time with the Death Note and watching the police this way." Light couldn't reply of course, but in his mind he disagreed. After all, he knows she's bad at remembering time and he would have an alias every time he's with her, so he could lie to get out.

For example, let's say he was accused of somehow killing 5 people one day between 5-6pm. But at 3-5pm, he was with Y/N. Because she can't remember time very good at all, he could easily say he was with her while the killings were happening, and with her agreeing because she doesn't know any better. Y/N can also easily be turned into an abused puppy in his eyes; a loyal punching bag who he can manipulate for certain circumstances.

"While your doing that, I'm going to use the restroom," Light excused himself as he stood up from the table and walked away. He walked over and up the stairs, down the hall and to a certain person's room. Once he got to the door, he softly knocked on it. "May I come it?"

Y/N on the other side jumped from the sudden arrival. "Just a second!" She called out as she took her hair out of the bun and fixed it, because let's face the fact that a lot of us are very insecure about our looks. She quickly fixed her shirt because calling out, "come in!" A mere moment later and her door was open to reveal a tall brunette.

"You look lovely today," he complimented as he stepped inside her room and shut the door behind him. Y/N blushed a little bit.

"Thanks, heh. Um...you look nice too," she replied nervously.

"Don't be nervous with me please. You know I'm not mad at you. Actually, I came in here to formally apologize," he spoke as he walked up closer and bowed in respect. "The least I could have done was call you about her earlier that day, or told you I was seeing someone way ahead of that. It was foolish of me not to and led to both of our hears being hurt. I'm sorry." Y/N frowned as she comprehended what he just said then sighed. She walked up to him and grabbed the sides of his face and pulled him up.

"You're face is so squishy, sir," she said as Light stood up all the way, however Y/N didn't go of him. "It's weird someone so very collected and serious became friends with someone as dimbas a bag of rocks. I mean, have a told you about how my IQ test came back negative? Because it did."

Light chuckled as her comment, playing with a strand of her hair. "Did this really happen? You're so weird sometimes, haha." Y/N giggled softly before frowning.

"Hey, y'know, I really wasn't mad. The first week we stopped talking was so painful but I knew I had to make it up to you somehow. Yet even though I really wanted to just call you and have a drink of coffee with a long conversation full of pleasant topics and laughs, I was so scared. It's embarrassing," she confessed, keeping her head low.

Pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, Light smiled down at her. "Then I hope today takes all that weight off your shoulders."

"It did, heh heh," Y/N smiled as she looked him in the eyes. With how close they are, the eye contact, and the smiles, they seem almost suggestive towards one another. Or at least in the eyes of none other than-

"Ew!" Yelled B/N from the doorway. He must have opened the door while they were distracted. Y/N furrowed her eyebrows together and glared at her brother whereas Light just smiled. "All I wanted was help, not this teenage romance scene. I finished all my problems by the way, ugh," B/N spoke, sounding dead.

"I'll be down there in a moment," Light responded as B/N walked away. He turned towards Y/N again; "well, it was nice seeing you. Your dad is paying me for this so I should probably get back to work." Y/N nodded as she hugged him softly.

"Alright. Make sure you let me know when your done or free," she responded before she pulled away from the hug.

"Will do," Light replied as he pat her head. "I'll see you later." Light waved goodbye as he walked out of her room and shut the door behind him.

Y/N took a deep breath to ease her nerves. That's it, she thought. This man is about to be my husband-

[time-and-souvenir]

Dazzled is an Understatement Part II

Summary: Curious about what happened to Victor and MC’s after the end of the Dazzling Date? A continuation from Victor’s POV. Part 2/3 of Dazzled is an Understatement. 

FYI: Some NSFW, spoilers for chp 10 and beyond, spoilers for Dazzling Date and as always I chose a random name for MC.

Wordcount: 3053 words.

Notes: It’s crazy to me that some of you wanted more of this fanfic? Lol! Dazzled was supposed to be a one shot but I decided to write a second part to it to wrap it up. THEN I wrote this and decided, you know what? I’m making this into THREE parts 😂❤️Thanks to everyone who suggested this, liked, commented and reblogged the first part of Dazzled is an Understatement! & thank you for being SO PATIENT, reading and supporting my writing ♥️ Part 3 is coming soon! I hope you guys like it❤️

“Yes, yes. I know Goldman. I am aware of that,” Victor replied in annoyance as he sifted through the progress reports of several projects LFG had planned in the coming week. He had spent many hours writing up the perfect proposal for this new company he was about acquire, it was an offer they wouldn’t be able to refuse. Working together with Goldman everything was moving very smoothly, until the company somehow started to get cold feet. For reasons he didn’t understand, and he wasn’t happy about it; the company knew who he was and what his company did, what in the world possessed them to do this?

“We could rework the offer and add in another department they might like, sir. I’ve been looking over their assets again and it would be very lucrative---“

“No. The offer I gave them was plenty, we don’t bend to someone that is inferior to our company, especially a company we are trying to acquire Goldman,” Victor responded, irritation lacing his tone. The more he kept discussing things over with his assistant, the more heated his blood became and not in a good way. Goldman changed tactics and suggested another way LFG could make things work and the ravenette listened intently. He clicked on his email, looking over the different graphics, information on the company’s growth and some articles of the company’s achievements that Goldman sent him. It was a decent size, but with proper funding, patience and the guidance of LFG it would succeed. A new plan started to form in his head.

“Here is what I want you to do Goldman,” Victor leaned back in his chair and started to rattle off what he needed his subordinate to do. Ten minutes later as their phone call started to wrap up, he felt much more confident with what was discussed. The ravenette had always gotten what he wanted, one way or another and this small little company was next. He stood up and stretched slightly, keeping his phone tucked into his shoulder so he could continue to hear Goldman. He walked over to his home office window, the sun setting in the distance. He had been working from his penthouse for a couple of days now, work had become…somewhat distracting.

“I need you to finish up that proposal within the hour, type it up and bring it over with the other data that we’ve discussed. I’ll give you the final approval so you can take it to their office tomorrow,” Victor paused, shutting his laptop closed and turning towards the door of his office. It had gotten rather late and he needed to make dinner. “If that’s all, I’ll see you----"

“Uh actually, sir?”

“Yes?”

“Miss Juliette has been insistent on trying to schedule an appointment with you. She’s been calling me nonstop for the last three days, almost demanding to talk or see you,” Goldman trailed off, sounding nervous. The CEO paused in the doorway of his home office, his breath almost catching. He closed his eyes and a sigh escaped his lips.

“Do she happen to mention what was so urgent?” He asked as he left the room, heading towards his gourmet kitchen.

“She said she needed to speak to you about something important but did not elaborate beyond that. I am sorry, sir. What would you like me to do?” His assistant asked, he didn’t sound nervous anymore instead is tone was curious.

“Do as I said before, write up the proposal and bring me that data in one hour, Goldman. That is all,” Victor snapped and hung up the phone, he set the device down on his kitchen island and ran a hand down his face in annoyance. He had been dodging Juliette’s calls for almost five days now, five days since their date and the night they had kissed. He swore he could still feel the heat from her mouth on his own and the warmth of her skin as they slept together in her bed. His cock twitched at the thought of her wrapped around him, suddenly remembering how soft and wet her mouth felt.

Groaning, the black-haired male shook his head and walked around the kitchen island, going to one of his cabinets and opening it. He took out his favorite glass and went to fetch a bottle of wine, on a mission to pick out one of his most expensive ones. With the way he had been feeling, he might end up drinking the entire bottle. Victor had no idea why he felt this way, not only had Juliette been his long-lost childhood love, they had somehow found their way back to one another and their relationship was starting to blossom. There was no reason to feel down or disappointed by anything, he had finally found her, and everything was falling into place. Then why did feel so horrid about it? He grabbed a bottle of wine from his collection and went back to the kitchen island, searching for a wine opener from one of its drawers. He found what he needed and made quick work of the bottle before pouring himself a glass.

Juliette had made the first move between them, she had initiated and kissed him. The CEO had been so worried to do anything at first, there was a lot that had happened between them and the years they spent apart stacked between them as well. Everything had been exactly like he wanted with Juliette and more, but he didn’t want to ruin it by pushing her into a direction she didn’t want to go into or wasn’t ready for. His little idiot was a strong and stubborn woman, but he had seen the fear and questioning in her eyes sometimes when they were together, so he decided to be careful. Besides, they had all the time together in the world, his evol made sure of that. Closing his eyes, he downed the glass of wine and poured himself another. He was in complete and utter misery. One, he had missed Juliette desperately. He missed talking to her and frankly he also felt anxious not talking to her. Something he would never admit aloud, but it was something that hovered over him like a cloud. Two, how in the world could he face her after the dream he had? Yes, they had kissed and touched on their date and fell asleep together but having that type of dream while she slept next to him was so mortifying.

Victor took a sip of his dream, letting his thoughts consume him for a few moments. He had been so happy she had kissed him first, it gave him the permission he needed that she wanted that from him. It was still hard for him to do anything, let alone truly touch her because he was afraid something would go wrong. It was as if he thought of her as some expensive artwork and if he hadn’t locked up and put that artwork something horrible would happen. Somehow the artwork would be ruined, or someone would try and steal it; but Juliette wasn’t artwork, no she was the precious little girl he had been desperately searching for years and years. She was real and in front of him, but he was so afraid to touch her, so afraid she would disappear.

Sighing, he downed the rest of his and set the wine glass down. Two glasses should be enough for now, he still needed to eat. Shaking his head, he walked over to the refrigerator and opened it. He scanned the different shelves, trying to come up with something quick but fulfilling, it wasn’t too late but still. Something heavy wouldn’t do. Suddenly, the sound of his doorbell went off and he blinked looking up. Victor shut the fridge and grabbed his phone off the kitchen island, it hadn’t been thirty minutes yet and Goldman had already finished and arrived? And he had a key, why in the world wasn’t he using it? All of a sudden feeling a bit annoyed, the CEO left his kitchen and walked towards the entrance of his home.

Once he got there, he paused and opened up his phone bringing up the old proposal for tor company LFG was soon to acquire from earlier. He unlocked and opened the door, stepping aside. “Goldman, I appreciate your quickness, but why aren’t you using your key?” He spoke without looking up from his phone.

“Maybe because I’m not Goldman, Victor.” A sweet, but irritated feminine voice rang out in front of him. The ravenette started to feel his pulse race a bit and he looked up from his phone, trying to hide the shock from his face. Juliette stood before him, her arms across her chest as her foot tapped ever so slightly on the floor. She was so tiny in comparison to him, yet she looked like she was ready to take him down at any moment. Blinking, he shook his head and ushered her inside, thankfully she didn’t put up a fuss as she entered his home. He swiftly closed the door, the sound of the lock filling up his foyer.

“One moment.” Victor looked at her and tried not to stare, but she shrugged and turned her back to him, making her way into his main living place.

Trying to snap out of his shock, he shook his head and dialed Goldman’s phone number. “Finish the proposal, recheck the data and have everything ready to be discussed tomorrow. Tonight, is no longer available.” He spoke with absolution as he heard Goldman start to stutter in disbelief on the other line. Before his assistant could argue or say anything further, he hung up on him. Goldman had dealt with bigger issues before, he would be fine.

The CEO quickly followed Juliette into the living room, where he found her sitting on his couch waiting. She looked beautiful and lovely as always, even with the annoyance rolling out of  her in waves, nothing could stop how gorgeous she was to him. Victor couldn’t help but smile a bit at how she was acting, the woman before him looked like a very annoyed, fluffed up kitten. He sat down beside her, setting his phone on the coffee table before turning to her, giving the brunette his full attention.

“Why have you been avoiding me? My calls?” Juliette spoke angrily, a confused look into her chocolate colored eyes. “I don’t understand why you’re doing this, it’s one thing to ignore me for work but…” She trailed off, her expression suddenly becoming vulnerable. “We had that wonderful date, I thought we had grown closer. I know you didn’t mean to spend the night on purpose, but I enjoyed waking up in your arms. I know you did too, so I don’t understand,” the producer shook her head back and forth before stopping to look at him again. “I don’t understand why you aren’t talking to me.” The irritation she had come to his home with vanished and a look of hurt crossed her face instead.

Gently, Victor reached out and cupped her face. Moving close to her, his fingers stroked her skin and his pulse quickened slightly. “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” He spoke softly as he leaned down, pressing his forehead against his. Juliette sniffed and he felt her slender arms encircle his neck. His breath caught slightly, and he closed his eyes for a moment, only to open them to find her gaze focused on his own. Without thinking, the ravenette gently tilted her face up to his and pecked her lips against his. Juliette gasped against his mouth and he smiled in return. He angled his head slightly and kissed her once more, deepening it.

“Victor…” the brunette murmured his name and it was as if the spell that been cast on him broke. He pulled away from her, enough to look down at her face. His fingers still lingered on her cheeks and a look on confusion filled her now flushed face. He had to get better grip on himself and his thoughts, his annoying, tortuous lewd thoughts of her. They had just found one another one again and after seventeen years of searching for her, he still couldn’t believe he had finally found her and the little girl who had saved him all those years ago. He couldn’t risk ruining what they had because of his own carnal, selfish desires. Reluctantly he let go of her face and started to pull away only to find the front of his shirt being grabbed and pulled back toward her. He started to say her name but closed his mouth and repeatedly blinked several times at the look on her face. “I am not a doll or a piece of glass. I’m the woman you love.” Juliette pulled him so closed to her that their noses barely were inches apart. Her dark hues kept moving from his eyes to his mouth and something just snapped inside of him.

The CEO wrapped his arms around her and buried his face into her neck, he felt himself shaking a little. “Is it so wrong that I want to cherish you Juliette?” He murmured into her skin, kissing the spot beneath her ear. He felt her hands move into his hair, her delicate fingers stroking through the strands. “Cherishing doesn’t mean keeping me at arm’s length or ignoring the fact that we want one another.” Juliette’s hands suddenly disappeared from his head and he felt a gentle nudge underneath his chin, he obliged her and looked at her. She kissed his nose and pressed her forehead against his own, her arms immediately wrapping around his neck. “I love you and I want you.” Victor fought the urge to stop and rewind time, but he also didn’t want to make Juliette have to wait any longer either. His little producer had gotten quite bold, maybe all his heavy teasing and business advice had finally gotten through to her.

“I have always loved you,” He murmured against her mouth before pressing a chase against her mouth and a small murmur was her response, her nails digging lightly into the back of his neck. Smiling Victor kissed her again, sliding his tongue past her lips and into her mouth to meet her tongue. His hands cradled and angled her face up to his as they kissed. Juliette sighed and moaned into his mouth as kept his lips against her own, his fingers stroking the sides of her face. Victor pulled away after what seemed like hours from her panting ever so slightly, his cock throbbing and beginning to harden as he stared at her flushed face and wide-eyed gaze.

“Have you ever done anything like this before?” He asked as his hands left her cheeks and moved down her neck, his fingers tracing her body downward until they rested against her hips. The brunette stared up at him for a few moments not saying anything and he was about to say something when she dug her nails gently but with purpose into his neck.

“Some of it. Does it matter?” She asked holding his gaze and ignoring his hands moved and gripped the backs of her legs, he swore he saw her chest rise and fall faster at the movement.

“Hold on tight to me.” Victor replied and lifted her off the couch making sure that her legs wrapped around his torso. She made a small sound of distress, but he kissed her cheek and chuckled. “I’m not going to let you fall, Juliette.” She adjusted herself a bit against him and once she settled into his arms, she pulled out slightly and looked down at him. Her eyebrows rose when he didn’t move, he just stood there holding her.

“Are you sure you want---?”

“Victor,” She cut him off and one of her hands grabbed his chin and pulled his face closer to her own. Her chocolate orbs seemed ablaze with determination, the same gaze he had seem her do many times before either when presenting a report to him or eating one of his meals. He pecked her mouth and moved his hands from her hips to his ass, squeezing the delicate round. The earlier bravo she had had shown him all of a sudden faded and her cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red. Smirking, he kissed her again making sure to press his middle especially hard between the spot of her legs. Her hands dug into his shoulders and she let out a low sound against his mouth. Pulling away, he kissed her nose and started to walk away from the couch and living room and moved towards the stairs. “Just wanted to make sure you know what you’re getting into.” Victor kissed her again, breaking apart only for a few moments to angle his face towards her. He reached the stairs and carefully went up them one by one, his fingers kneading and squeezing the brunette’s ass. Juliette kept letting low moans escape her mouth and into his own, her voice was getting louder with each passing moment and he wondered if she had even realized she was making a sound.

Once they reached the top of the stairs, the CEO carried her down the hallway and paused at his bedroom door. Victor broke away from her lips only to find himself pressing his forehead against her own. His dark hues looking into her own gaze as they looked at one another.

“When we go in there I’m not going to stop, so I need to know…” He paused, reaching up one of his hands and caressing the side of her face. “Are you sure?” His thumb traced her mouth before he leaned in and kissed her again. Pulling back his hand left her face and back down to her side, squeezing her there. His hands tangling in the fabric as he took a step forward, pausing in the doorway of his bedroom.

“I’m sure,” Juliette spoke her voice seemingly out of breath, and he smiled in response. Kissing her deeply once more, Victor moved them into his bedroom using his back foot to shut the door firmly behind them.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hullo! I was wondering if you knew any johnlock fics where Sherlock thinks that they're in a relationship but they're not? Thanks!

AMBIGUOUS RELATIONSHIPS

Hey Lovely!

Sorry for the title above, I use them now to quickly ID a post when I draft them, LOL LOL!!

I only know of a few fics that is almost exactly this criteria:

A Need To Know Basis by mattsloved1 (G, 934 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Romance) – As the cab door shut firmly, the DI had yelled out they were to make an appearance at Scotland Yard the next day. It was while John watched London pass by that it happened.

How To Give Your Boyfriend Who Doesn’t Know He’s Your Boyfriend the Best Valentine’s Day Ever by unicornpoe (T, 9,832 w., 1 Ch. || Valentine’s Day, Fluff and Crack, Soft Sherlock, POV Sherlock) – Sherlock is pretty sure that John Watson is his boyfriend. He’s also pretty sure that John doesn’t know it. But with a little help from a magazine, some friends, three crepes, five dates, one awesome CD, and a stalker van, John is bound to realize just in time for Valentine’s Day.

Winter’s Delights by Kate_Lear (E, 21,173 w., 1 Ch. || Holmes Family, Christmas, Fake Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Bed Sharing, Domestics) – Sherlock takes John home for Christmas to meet the extended Holmes family. Part 1 of Winter’s Delights

You Can Imagine the Christmas Dinners by ardenteurophile (T, 23,584 w., 9 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Drama, Fluff & Angst, Humour, Romance) – Sherlock takes John along for Christmas dinner with Mycroft and Mummy (And “Anthea”, too). Over the course of the evening, John realises that everyone in the room - apart from him - seems to think that he and Sherlock are a couple. Part 2 of Xmas Dinners Verse

The Soul Remembers by i_ship_an_armada (E, 43,636 w., 10 Ch. || Oblivion AU || Post-Apocalypse, Movie Fusion, Science Fiction, Action/Adventure, Angst, Dreams, Bittersweet Ending) – John Watson is the lone security repairman stationed on a desolate, nearly-ruined future Earth. His dreams are plagued by a tall, dark-haired man, and when his dreams meet reality, he will be forced to question everything he believes is the truth about his life.

——

And here are several others that are close-but-not-quite:

So, this is normal for us now? by TooManyChoices (M, 1,445 w., 1 Ch. || Bed Sharing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Est. Rel., Cuddles) – John and Sherlock have been sharing a flat, and a life for some time. This is a story of how the glacially slow movement of their relationship makes another agonising crawl forward another inch.

The Case of the Made-Up Case by DoubleNegative (T, 2,394, 1 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Clubbing, First Kiss, For Science) - Sherlock takes John to a club. For a “case.” Yes, John, a case. Part 1 of The (Secret) Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

Get It All in Writing by aceofhearts61 (T, 2,423 w., 1 Ch. || Ace Sherlock / Straight John, Love Letters, Romantic Friendship, Asexuality, Schmoop) – Sherlock and John write each other love notes. Part 8 of A Love with No Name

Surety by hudders (G, 2,477 w., 1 Ch. || Jealous Sherlock, Drunk John, Drunk Lestrade, Drinking, Alcohol) – Sherlock is pissed because it seems that four pints of larger, two shots of tequila and a glass of wine has resulted in Lestrade becoming a little bit too friendly with everyone. And by everyone, Sherlock really means John.

Where You Are by Mazarin221b (E, 2,478 w., 1 Ch. || Beach Sex, First Time, Fluff, Smut, Holidays, Pining) – He can admit he’s secretly a little glad Sherlock didn’t come with him. He needs a break. Sherlock is a handful at the best of times, and the near-constant apologizing, fixing, dealing-with, and following up on is exhausting. The near-constant unrequited attraction is a bit exhausting, too, to be honest, and John could really use a tiny bit of rest from the relentless hammering on his brain and heart.

Rooftop Confession by Random_Nexus (T, 2,514 w., 1 Ch. || Ace Sherlock, Developing Relationship, Friendship / Love, Angsty Fluff) – Sherlock asks John to join him for a slightly unexpected discussion.

Bagged & Tagged by Regency (T, 3,339 w., 1 Ch. || Drunken Confessions, Fluff and Crack, Marriage Proposal) – A very inebriated John devises a clever means of proposing marriage to Sherlock. Unfortunately he’s forgotten all about it by the next morning.

A Bit of Indulgence by beltainefaerie (NR, 3,364 w., 1 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Pride Parade, Declarations of Love, Fluff, Dev. Rel., Case Fic) – A case leads John and Sherlock to fake being boyfriends and John runs into an old acquaintance.

Christmas at Holmes Cottage by johnlockedstarkid (G, 4,295 w., 7 Ch. || Christmas, Fake Relationship, Love Confessions, Holmes Family, Pining, Kisses, Fluff, Allusions to Mystrade) – Sherlock doesn’t want to have to deal with his mother’s wishes for him to find a partner when he goes to visit them for Christmas, so asks John to pose as his boyfriend. Little does he know he’s not the only one who wishes that the relationship could be real.

five times sherlock holmes lied to john watson (and one time he finally told the truth) by miss_frankenstein (G, 5,948 w., 5 Ch. || TAB Compliant || Homophobia, Pining Sherlock, Oscar Wilde Trials, Happy Ending) – Set in “The Abominable Bride” universe, this piece adopts a familiar format to chronicle Sherlock’s quiet suffering in the wake of the 1895 Oscar Wilde trials and the particular way they affect his relationship with (and feelings for) John.

Five Times John Noticed But Didn’t Really by ScandalousMinds (T, 6,383 w., 5 Ch. || Domestics, Fluff/Angst, Bratty Sherlock, Idiots, Pre-Slash, Jealous Sherlock, Love Confessions) – 5 times John (thought) he noticed something peculiar about his and Sherlock’s relationship but really missed the obvious.

that thing you like by misspamela (E, 7,165 w., 1 Ch. || Holmes Family, Fake Relationship, Friends to Lovers) – “Happy Christmas, etc. etc.” Sherlock and John go to the Holmes’ for Christmas, and everyone thinks they’re together.

Unkissed by 221b_hound (E, 7,506 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, First Kiss/Time, John Thinks Sherlock is Ace, Dream-Merman-John, Kissing, Hand Jobs, Frottage, Hugs, Sherlock Doesn’t Realize They’re in a Relationship) – Sherlock returned from the dead a year ago. John returned to Baker Street six months ago. They’ve been in a couple since then. or at least, not NOT a couple. For two smart men, they sure can be dumb. Luckily, an art thief tries to drown Sherlock, Sherlock has a fever dream and things are about to change. Part 1 of the Unkissed series

What Meets the Eye by worldaccordingtofangirls (M, 8,251 w., 1 Ch. || Amnesia, Fluff, Hospital) – Amnesia is just another case to solve. Piece together unfamiliar faces, reconstruct the old identity, the lost reality. A challenge that Sherlock could even enjoy. He can read people like books. The man with the silver hair is his boss. The tottering old woman, his landlady. The girl with the worried look in her eyes… infatuated. And as for John Watson? His husband. Obviously.

Bread and Wine and Curry Once a Week by cwb (E, 8,737 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Stroppy Sherlock, Love Letters, POV John) – Sherlock asks John for relationship advice. Little does he know that it’s him that Sherlock is in love with.

A Lifetime Together by LondonGypsy (M, 8,886 w., 1 Ch. || Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Falling in Love, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Pining Idiots, Alternating POVs, Domestics, Retirement) – John and Sherlock falling in love.

The River Variations by withoutawish (T, 11,619 w., 1 Ch. || Soulmates, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Three Garridebs, Romance, Light Case Fic, Near Death Experience, Angst and Fluff, Dark Humour) – John Watson never knew that he wanted a ‘no toast in the mornings’ normal until he realized what an honor it is to be destroyed by Sherlock Holmes.

John Watson doesn’t have a Boyfriend by naughtyspirit (E, 18,932 w., 7 Ch. || UST / URT, Fluff & Smut, Voyeurism, Masturbation) – John’s date has gone very well. Sherlock requires tea. John wishes he hadn’t resolved that their relationship was strictly hands off and isn’t about to address it. Unless he has to. Smut, fluff and shower time for a naked John Watson.

Just a Kiss by emmagrant01 (E, 19,695 w., 7 Ch. || 5+1, Case Fic) – Five times John and Sherlock kissed because of a case and one time they kissed for real.

Through the Clouds by Mazarin221b (E, 20,004 w., 6 Ch. || Retirement, Sussex, Bees, Home Improvement, First Time, Romance) – Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing. They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you’re living to find the life you want. Part 1 of Through The Clouds

The White Lotuses by SilentAuror (E, 20,340 w., 1 Ch. || Slowburn, Domestic, Romance) – One day John realises that he just isn’t where he belongs, which is back at Baker Street with Sherlock. So he goes back and Sherlock, in his own way, courts him. Romance.

5 Times John Got the Girl (and lost her) and 1 Time John Got the Guy (and kept him) by LiviKate (M, 21,695 w., 6 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Kissing, Oblivious / Awkward Sherlock, BAMF / Sexy / Stud John, Embarassed John, John’s Scar, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Sherlock) – John has always had good luck with the ladies. He’s charming, friendly and funny, not to mention great in bed. However, his usual skill with the opposite sex is constantly being thwarted by Sherlock and his outbursts. How will John ever get a leg over when Sherlock is always cockblocking him?

Ghost Stories by SwissMiss (M, 22,256 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Holmes Family, Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, First Time) – Sherlock’s parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

Among the Secret Things by Kate_Lear for coloredink (E, 26,073 w., 14 Ch. || Angst, Drama, Amnesia) – Sherlock would be the last person to describe himself as given to flights of fancy, but at the look on Lestrade’s face he could swear that something inside him curls up and dies. Part 1 of Among the Secret Things

Five Times They Kissed for a Case, and One Time They Kissed for Real by fleetwood_mouse (M, 32,406 w., 6 Ch. || 5+1, Slow Burn, Fluff / Angst, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers) – A stolen ring! An artful blogger! And many more adventures for your enjoyment.

Where Else Would I Be? by cwb (E, 34,910 w., 10 Ch. || Retirementlock, Domestic Fluff, Falling in Love, Parentlock, Fluff and Smut, Reminiscing) – John and Sherlock’s five-year-old granddaughter spends the weekend with them in Sussex. Sherlock happily indulges her whims, and John takes care of them while quietly revisiting the past thirty years of their lives together.

An Experiment in Empathy Series by belovedmuerto (T, 62,397 w. across 13 stories || Empath AU || Psychic John, Psychic-by-Proxy Sherlock, Empathy, Psychic Bond, Romance / Bromance) – In which John is an empath, Sherlock is Sherlock, and an epic bromance happens. In the aftermath of The Great Game, John creates an unexpected bond between himself and Sherlock. Now they have to learn how to deal with it. John is better at this than Sherlock is.

——-

BUT I have done a list in the past called “Do They Know They’re in a Relationship?” so I think you will enjoy that one too :)

If any of my Lovelies have any fics that meet the criteria, please let us know!!! Otherwise in the meantime, I think you’ll also enjoy these lists :)

[random-mha-thoughts]

Miss Missing You (Life Update)

Ahem yes that’s the title of this post

Boy am I tired and exhausted being awake since 5 am on 5 hours of sleep

Hello~🥰 all my lovelies who are still awake and chugging along out in this world that’s slowly descending into the depths of hell (it’s ok guys, just a little more than 3 months and it’ll be over...hopefully).  I hope you’ve all been well, taking care of yourselves, drinking lots of water, and reminding yourself how amazing and wonderful you are and why you deserve to wake up every morning.  And if you started school again, stay safe and good luck, I know you can do it, push through this

Before I say anything, I wanna say hi and welcome to the - holy crap - 300 more followers I’ve gotten since I started being inactive.  I have no idea how you found this blog since it’s been radio silence, but thank you~ Enjoy your stay~

Also just a casual shout out to @mister-future for the reblog spam a few days ago, thank you so much dear 😘

Aaaaand I’m plugging a few events from my Discord server, POC Week that just wrapped up and a new Fantasy Week event where they’re still looking for a few writers to join in, so go check those out if you’re interested~ Sadly I won’t be participating, but I give all my love and support for both so please show them some love too.

Now you’re probably wondering or not “Chibi, where have you been?!  It’s been nearly a month!  You promised us Kiss of Death part 2!”

Well...see... the thing is... I don’t think I’ll be writing part 2... Hold the rotten tomatoes, let me finish!

Some of you might’ve seen from one of the last tag posts I did, but I never really made a formal announcement for this and I was meaning to do one early a month ago but life caught up to me and here we are.  It’s not that big of a deal or anything, I’m not dying, I’m not moving, nothing like that.  What I’m trying to say is in August I started PA school, which is basically about 70% of med school crammed into 2 years.  Nonstop, no long breaks, even taking classes during summer.  And as you can imagine, it’s a lot of work.  Many times, my schedule has me up at 5 am, class at 7 until 3, I come home, study, eat, study, shower, wind down for 30 min or so and then sleep.  On average, I sleep for ~6 hours a night and the entire rest of my day I’m studying.  My only break days are Friday and Saturday, and Sunday I have to play catch up from the week and review/study.  I have at least 1-2 exams every single week.

What I’m trying to say is it’s a lot, it’s a commitment I decided to take where I trade my social life and maybe my mental stability for 2 years and get a hopefully secure medical job with a nice salary and never have to go to school again.  I thought I’d have time at least on the weekends to write as a mental break, but most of my Saturdays are spent taking half-day long naps.  I didn’t anticipate that the mental and physical toll it would take on me would be this much.  Today I was lucky to have class finish early and I finished my allotted studying early enough for me to make up for my lost sleep (I’m tired right now, can’t you tell how by how much I’m rambling? lol), but I told myself, “If you don’t write this now, you’re never gonna get to it again.”  So here I am~ Running on fumes and almost falling asleep at my keyboard because I know I owe you an explanation.

Point is, writing isn’t really in my agenda right now.  It can’t fit in my irregular, constantly-changing-yet-consistently-stressful PA school schedule.  I wish I had the energy to pull myself together and give you guys something once a week, but my body and my mind can’t do it, and for that I’m truly sorry.  I really miss this blog and writing and all of you, but I have priorities that go above it for now.

Am I saying you won’t be seeing anything of me until December?  It’s a very likely possibility.  I’m crossing my fingers that I can put out something, even a little thing sometime in between, but for now I think it’s safe to say I’m out of commission until December.  I really hope you guys understand 🙏🏼

I love you all so much, thank you for sticking with me through the long update/announcement.  Please stay safe and healthy, remember that you’re loved and you deserve the whole world, and there is no one else who can replace you 💖

~Chibi

[connordavidscamera]

Love Notes | Connor Brashier

A/n: I would like to thank the person in the dorm next to me for inspiring this meet cute situation. *there might be a part 2 or a blurb to follow this because there is a specific part that isn’t in here that I promised Rina.

Summary: someone on your floor has been playing piano and you can’t not love it. (college!AU)

Warnings: none

Word count: 3.5k

***

It’s been one of those days. You know the one where you’re awake, you’re alive, but you can’t seem to focus on anything. You’re going through the motions, but you can’t sit still, can’t pay attention in your lecture, can’t get yourself to work on a homework assignment for more than five whole minutes. Yeah, it’s one of those. I’ve been alternating between scrolling through my phone and working on this five page essay that’s due Friday that I currently only have an introduction for. Well… if you consider two sentences an introduction. My professor definitely would not. 

I sigh and toss my phone on my bed, where it bounces and lands on the floor with a loud thud. I groan and run my hands over my face, maybe I just need caffeine. However, getting said caffeine would mean walking all the way across campus for a $5 cup from Starbucks that definitely would not keep me awake without a few extra espresso shots. It’s not worth it. But then again, maybe the walk outside would do me good. (Not that it did this morning when I was walking to class.) 

I’m grabbing my shoes from my closet when the first note fills the room. And then the second and the third. At first, I think I’m imagining it, maybe it’s coming from my computer, but then I remember that I didn’t have music on. The notes get faster, louder, almost more aggressive, like the person playing them is pushing harder on the keys. But it still sounds so pretty - I might be a little biased though because I’ve always been a sucker for piano. I’ve always wanted to learn how to play too, but I never had the chance to take classes.I stand there for a while, just listening. It’s so pretty, soothing. 

It takes me a minute too long to figure out what the song is, because every time I think I have it, I’m wrong. But it’s a popular song. Not new though. At least a few years old. One that was played on every radio station for months and months. Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran, I finally decide. And that’s when the melody comes to me and I find myself humming along to it. And that’s when I realize that I’ve finally focused on something for more than a second. 

The notes continue to fill the room as I look over at my abandoned paper. Their fingers on the keys though, are slowing down just as I sit in my chair, convinced that if they just keep playing a little bit longer, I can get through maybe half of this essay. And much to my delight, they do keep playing once they finish the other song. It stops for just a moment though, probably to think of another one to play. This one I don’t recognize at all, but it’s soothing and while they continue to heat each beautiful, melodic note, I type away at my computer. 

My two sentences quickly become ten, then fifteen, then twenty, then thirty and I’m on a roll. Before I know it, I’m working my way down my third page and the playing still hasn’t stopped. To anyone else this is probably the most annoying thing to hear, because who in their right mind would be playing the piano for, I glance at my clock, an hour and fifteen minutes straight? And I definitely don’t have an answer. At least not right now. But I’m gonna find one. I close my laptop and shove my feet in the shoes I had taken out of my closet earlier. I don’t close my door completely when I step out of my room, knowing that I’ll go back in just as soon as I find the source of the notes. They get louder as I make my way down the hallway. I stop in front of the door where I’m 99.9% sure the music is coming from. Room 1327. 

Cautiously, I press my ear against the door and am once again met with the aggressive taps on the keyboard. I take in a deep breath and nod before heading quickly back to my room. I grab a stack of sticky notes from my desk and a sharpie. I scribble out a few words and then rush back out to the room. Half of me says not to do this. To leave it alone. But the other half of me says that whoever lives behind that door needs to be told that they play beautifully. Which is exactly what the note you stick on their door says. Just three simple words and a smiley face.

‘You play beautifully. :)’

And with that I go back to your room to grab my bag and keys, now in desperate need of that caffeine I was craving only an hour ago. I lock the door behind me and head to the main exit, opposite of what is going to easily become my favorite room, if they continue to play like they are now. I open the door to the closing notes of “The Scientist.”

When I come back, much later than I anticipated (but I guess that’s what happens when you go to the only open Starbucks on campus at eight at night, with an abundance of due dates fast approaching.) my eyes are threatening to close on me - despite the two extra espresso shots I added to my order. I don’t notice it until I’m at my door, key in the lock, that the music hasn’t stopped. And being the oh-so nosy person I am, I make my way down to the magical room 1327 and notice my note is missing. I smile softly and I hope - selfishly - that they play just long enough for me to fall asleep. 

I trudge back into my room and the first thing I notice is all the lights are on, which means my roommate, Tara, is back. She’s not a huge fan of the dark when alone, always keeping at least two of the lights on when I’m not in the room. She’s laying on her side, with her phone in her hand and her earphones in. I move farther into the room, turning off the bathroom light on my way to my desk. I set my bag on my chair and toss my keys on the smooth, although kinda crowded, desktop. She sits up, pulling her earphones out. “Hey.”

“Hey, sorry I’m back so late. Starbucks was packed. And then I ran into one of my friends and we got a bite to eat.”

“It’s okay. Do you hear that?” She asks quickly.

“Hear what?”

“The piano. Do you hear it?”

“Oh that? Yeah, they were playing before I left.”

“Yeah, well they’ve been playing for almost two hours now. Nonstop. It’s driving me crazy.”

I shrug and reach for a fresh pair of pajamas, “I don’t know. I think it sounds nice. I’m gonna go shower.” 

I don’t hear the music in the bathroom, but that’s definitely because I’m playing my own, needing something that could wake me up just enough for me to get through my shower without passing out from complete exhaustion. I’m disappointed to find that the notes are no longer filling the room when I get out of the bathroom. It’s strange, but I already kinda miss them.

---

Mystery piano person continues to play for the next week, sometimes repeating songs from the day before, but mostly playing new ones. I wonder if they knew these all previously or if they’re just learning as they go. Sometimes it’s hard to tell, but that could just depend on the difficulty of the song, I guess. I tug on the sleeves of my jacket, pulling it off my shoulders before going to my desk to write another note for the piano person. 

‘Still beautiful. But aren’t you scared your fingers will fall off with all that tapping? Lol :)’

I leave the room to put the note on their door when I notice one already there. I scrunch up my face. The one I left yesterday was already gone by the time I got back to the dorm last night, and it was written on an obnoxiously bright pink sticky note. This one, however, is blue. I don’t want to be nosy, but I can’t help but read it when I go to place mine. 

‘Thanks for the notes. Glad you like it. Have a favorite so far?’

I stare at the writing for a while, it’s scribbly, and small (half of the sticky note is left untouched), but legible enough. It’s  Part of me thinks I shouldn’t reply. Because if it’s not for me then that would be totally awkward. But if it is, it would be rude not to answer, right? I scurry back to my room to get a pen. I’ll answer, I decide. There’s no reason not to. 

‘Yellow - Coldplay’

The music stops on the other side and I quickly run back to my room, not wanting to get caught. Because sure this isn’t wrong or anything, but some part of it feels… intrusive. I hear the door opening just as I’m shutting mine and I so desperately want to peek out and see who mystery piano person is, but that would give me away as well. And even though we live on the same floor, I’ve hardly met anyone that wasn’t Tara and a few girls that lived down the hall, and I’m not quite ready for that yet. 

---

It goes on like this for another two weeks, passing notes back and forth. Him asking for feedback - I usually have none. He thinks I’m lying, says there’s always room for improvement. I tell him that since I don’t have a background in music, I have no room to judge. He asks if he can teach me. I tell him maybe someday. 

‘Okay Yellow, we’ve been at this for weeks. You gonna tell me your name yet?’

I smile at the nickname. 

‘Not today, piano man. Soon.’

‘Fine. But you know my room number. Can I have that at least?’

I think it over. It seems only fair that he knows that.

‘1320.’

The note is not on his door the next day. It’s on mine. But I don’t respond to this one. I don’t have time. 

And when I get back to my room later in the evening, the note was still there, untouched, unanswered. And even though I wanted to, I didn’t have the energy to respond. I was spent. It was one of the rougher days. One thing just piling on top of the other until it’s like that one chair that has all your clothes on it that’s not necessarily dirty, but you wore it for a few hours so it’s not clean enough to hang back up. You know the chair that becomes the biggest fucking inconvenience when you need to work at your desk so you have to throw all the clothes on your bed only to throw it back on the chair when you want to lay down. 

Yeah, my day was pretty much that chair. I woke up late thanks to my alarm that just didn’t go off? So I was running really late, and I had to sprint to my first class, and I was still late. Then when I went to get coffee, the line was long, and when I finally got my drink I had a total of two sips before someone bumped into me and I dropped the cup on the ground outside the building of my next class. Then there was a pop quiz in said class that I’m quite sure I failed because I don’t think our professor had even covered half of what was on that test. Then my phone died and in my rush to get to class, I left my charger in the dorm. And the cherry on top of this already melting sundae, I locked myself out of my room. I swore I had it when I was leaving, but as I retrace my steps, I remember leaving it right there on the bathroom counter. And it’s just my luck that Tara won’t be back until after midnight tonight because she’s closing at work. I let out a loud groan and take a seat across from my door, legs crossed in front of me. 

I know I should work on my homework that’s due at the end of the week (in literally just two days, actually) but my computer is on the verge of dying too, so there’s no point. I pull out the book I’ve had stuffed in my bag for days, in hopes of finding some time to read it. I guess with nothing to do for the next four and a half hours, I could read. 

I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting there, but I notice about ninety pages in that the familiar sound of piano man is not filling my ears. 

“Locked out?” Someone says, the first one that I’ve seen come down the hallway since I’ve been here actually. I knew this floor was pretty dead, but I didn’t ever notice that it was this dead. 

I chuckle bitterly, “Yeah. Just a little bit.”

“Is your roommate on their way?” 

I shake my head, “No, she won’t be back until late.”

“Did you call the RA on duty?”

I hold up my phone which rested beside me - habit, I guess, to take it out of my back pocket in case I get notifications, “Phone’s dead.”

“You can use mine, if you’d like.”

I shake my head, “No, it’s okay. Thank you.”

“Well, it’s cold out here. Why don’t you come to my room? You can charge your phone and get off this dusty floor that I don’t think has been cleaned since we got back from break,” he says light-heartedly. 

I can’t help but laugh, “You have a point there. Okay… sure. But I have to ask you something first.”

“Shoot,” he holds his hand out to help me off the ground.

“What’s your name?”

He looks down with an embarrassed smile on his face. “I’m Connor. And you are…?”

“Y/n.”

“Well, y/n. It’s nice to meet you. Uh, my room’s this way.” He takes the lead and I sling my bag over my shoulder. I think my heart stops when we get to his room. Room 1327. Fuck. 

He frowns for a second, looking from his door to mine just once before opening the door. “After you,” he pushes the door open and I smile sheepishly before entering. Sure enough, there’s a keyboard against the far wall, where the window overlooks campus. The odd number rooms definitely got the better views. I stand awkwardly near the wall, allowing him to walk through and set his stuff down. 

“You can sit down. Let me just, move some of this stuff real quick,” he takes his towel off his desk chair and takes his shoes from under the desk, throwing them carelessly to the corner. “Sorry, it’s a little bit messy. It’s laundry day tomorrow, so there’s shit everywhere. Please, sit.” He gestures to the chair and I do, setting my bag down next to me, leaning against one of the legs of the desk. “Do you want something to drink? I have water and… no that’s about it. I need to go grocery shopping, too.” He laughs. 

“Thanks, Connor. But I’m fine.” 

“Okay,” he nods, sitting down at the stool in front of the keyboard. “Oh! Charger,” he stands up and goes over to his nightstand. “May I?” he holds his hand out and I nod, handing him my phone from my back pocket. “Sorry, I’d plug it in over there, but that outlet is fucked. Hasn’t worked since I moved in here.”

“No, it’s fine, really.”

Slowly he makes his way back to the keyboard, facing me, away from the setting sun. I spare a glance behind him and notice the bright pink sticky notes that rest on the wall beside the window. They’re my notes, every single one of them. I clear my throat. “Um, I’m assuming you’re the one who’s been playing the past few weeks.”

He cringes, “Yeah, sorry about that. It’s just how I’ve been destressing recently. It’s probably been getting on everyone’s nerves.”

“Not everyone’s… you play beautifully.”

He doesn’t say anything for a second, and then clears his throat, looking down at his feet. “Uh, thanks.”

“How long have you been playing?”

“It’s actually a pretty recent hobby. My friend started teaching me like last March, I think. And then I started watching a lot of videos on YouTube and I got pretty good at it, I guess. I mean, I won’t be selling out any arenas or anything like that.”

I laugh softly, “Well, I would definitely buy a ticket.”

I swear I see his cheeks tint pink, “Do you play?” He asks, avoiding the compliment. 

“No,” I shake my head. “I’ve always wanted to learn, but I’m pretty sure I don’t have a musical bone in my body.”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

“Oh it is. I uh, I auditioned for my school musical in like fifth grade. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone cover their ears so quickly.” I laugh and his eyes crinkle at the sides as he tries his hardest not to. “It was definitely not one of my shining moments. Yeah, I told myself that day not to even think about starting a career in music.”

“Were you singing?”

I nod. 

“Okay, well singing isn’t playing. And if you ask me, the notes, the chords, that’s what makes the music, not the words. Although those are important too.”

“Can you sing?”

“My shower head hasn’t told me to stop yet.” he jokes. And when I laugh, genuinely this time, he just watches me for a minute. “So you like yellow,” he says, turning to face the keyboard.

“I’m sorry?”

“The song. You said it was your favorite one that I’ve played.”

I sigh, “What gave me away?”

“‘You play beautifully.’”

“Well, it’s true. However, my preference did change since you last asked me. And don’t think I haven’t noticed that you now play yellow at least twice every day.”

He’s really blushing now. “Gotta keep the audience happy.” His fingers press gently over the keys not settling on a melody yet. “What’s your new favorite then?”

“You played ‘happier’’ the other day. I’ve never heard it on piano like that. I really liked it.”

He nods and starts playing the opening notes to it. “Now, I told you I wasn’t a singer,” he looks back at me, “but I’ll try it just for my biggest fan.”

I roll my eyes, “Oh shut up.”

“‘When the morning comes and we see what we’ve become, in the cold light oh na na na na na na na na…’ definitely don’t know those words.” He smiles and I think my heart melts at the sight. “‘Every argument, every word we can’t take back. Cause with all that has happened, I think that we both know the way that this story ends.’”

He continues through the song, but doesn’t continue singing after the first chorus. I’m sitting here, watching his fingers dance across the keys like they were made for it. He moves his body with each note and I am absolutely mesmerized. I know I’ve always loved piano, but watching him do this makes me love it even more.

“God, you’re perfect.” I mutter when he’s done and immediately cover my mouth because holy fuck, I said that out loud. 

“Well, I wouldn’t say perfect.” He turns back to face me. “You’d have to get to know me more before you could make that assumption. And I can guarantee that you will not feel the same way after.”

I shake my head, covering my face with my hands. “I’m sorry. I really did not mean to say that out loud.”

“It’s cool,” he waves it off. “Although, I wasn’t kidding about getting to know me. Because I’d love to get to know you.”

I clear my throat, removing my hands from my face. “Well, I’m free right now,” I say, crossing one leg over the other, this newfound confidence foreign to me. 

“Can I take you to dinner? Or to get coffee, if you’ve already eaten.”

“Right now?”

“Why not? You said you’re free, right?”

I nod, “Yeah. Yeah.”

“Okay, then it’s a date.”

“A date?” I question with a raised eyebrow.

“First dates are usually meant to get to know each other, aren’t they? And hopefully this isn’t too forward. But I think I have an idea for our second one too.”

“Oh you do? Well someone’s optimistic.”

“Only when it counts. So, may I?”

“May you what?”

“May I, Connor,” he stands from his seat and holds his hand out to me, “take you, y/n, on a date? Right now?”

I bite the inside of my cheek, “Yeah,” I finally say, placing my hand in his, “Yes, you may.” He pulls me to my feet and we’re so close. He smells nice, clean, with just the slightest hint of cologne that I can’t quite place. But I know it’s easily becoming my favorite scent already. 

***

I hope you enjoyed reading!! Like, reblog and leave feedback!! Permanent tag: @soyalimoncada-blog @tinycertain @magcon7280 @daisyangei @devilmendes @babybrash @fallinallincurls @lovewithanattitude @sinceweremutual @myyohmyuohmyy @perfectly-mendess @enchantingbrowneyedgirl @baroness-alison @lostinmendess @linanilssonfurberg @luvluvxx @mariamuses @shawnieeboyy @divinginfearlessly @mendesficsxbombay @shawnsthighs @shawns-badreputation

* bold wouldn’t let me tag

** if you want to be added or removed from any list (permanent, Shawn, Connor, or We Were Us just let me know

[supernovaspidey]

I feel safer in your arms

               Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

               Summary: You have been MIA for over a week, and Peter and Ned are trying to figure out what they did that could possibly make you ignore them for so long. It took one party at Flash’s place and an inconvenient Brad Davis to make you finally go off.

               Author’s note: hey, guys. It took a lot for me to post this, the main plot is based on a personal experience I’ve been through, and I decided to write about it as a way of dealing with the shitty situation. I tried to make the emotions as realistic as possible, in order to express my feelings, but I’m not exactly a great writer and English is not my mother language, so please be patient with me if I’ve made some mistakes throughout the story. Make sure to tell me what you thought about the story, it would make me really happy. Also, if any of you have been through a similar experience and want to talk, hit me up, I’m sure we can help each other, I certainly do need some help lmao

               Dedicated to: my favorite blogs! @infamous-webhead @justauthoring @userspidey @imnotobsessedwithhim @tomhreads @peterjonesparker @soulspideys@spideyxchelle (I know some of you might be weirded out because I have never interacted with you but i am in love with your blogs, i’m  just rly shy, anyways hope you enjoy xo) and @lousimusician (U R THE BEST OMG as I said in your ask previously I am in love with your blog and your work fuckkkkkk, you are awesome and rly sweet ❤️)

               Warnings: angst, mentions of harassment, slight PTSD, slight swearing, fluff (I SWEAR!!!), Peter Parker being the clueless human being on Earth, but also the cutest, protective!Peter, Ned is just a sweetheart I love him

               Word count: 2961

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               - Dude, what’s going on? Did you two have a fight or something? Because if you did, I swear to God I’ll…

               - Ned! Stop freaking out on me, man. You are making me worse than I already am. And no, we didn’t have a fight or anything like that. I honestly don’t know what’s going on. – Peter was clearly hurt and worried.

               - Sorry, it’s just that… it’s been a week. I miss her. I wonder what you did wrong this time. – Ned looked really judgmental and Peter wasn’t having it.

               - What is that supposed to mean?

               - Come on, dude. You may be her best friend but she clearly has a thing for you and every time she gets somewhat flirty, your oblivious self, despite being completely obsessed with her as well, always screw things up and she gets mad, so… what did you do this time?

               - She doesn’t… have a thing for me. – Peter’s cheeks started getting red with the suggestion.

               - Whatever helps you sleep at night. And that’s not the point! What. Did. You. Do?

               - Nothing, I swear! One night we were fine texting each other and then… She just isolated everyone. She’s been ignoring me since then but I promise I didn’t do anything wrong, I even checked our conversation. Here! – Peter grabbed his phone so fast it almost fell, unblocked it, and clicked on your contact, he didn’t think it was right to show Ned your conversation but the need to prove his innocence was stronger.

               (y/n): “wassup, arachnid?”

               (Peter): “(y/n) could u pls come up with a better nickname? That one’s awful :(“

               (y/n): “i’m working on it, but until I find the perfect one u’ll just have to get used to this mediocre-quality one lol”

               You guys kept talking about nonsenses until you told him you needed to go.

               (y/n): “gotta go, family gathering at gram’s. try not to cry because u miss me so much, I’ll be back I promise :p”

               (Peter): “well I’ll try but idk if I will be able to go through the next couple of hours without you annoying the life out of me. It’ll be so hard :(“

               (y/n): “damn ur heartless. Anyways bye, arachnid xo”

               (Peter): “S T O P”

               (Peter): “are you still at your grandma’s place? It’s like 2 a.m.”

               (Peter): “(y/n)???”

               (Peter): “if ur mad about me calling u annoying i’m sorryyy”

               (Peter): “:(“

               (Peter): “you weren’t at class today. everything okay? just checking, I’m worried abt u”

               (Peter): “u missed a Chem assignment today, I’m paired up with you, it’s nothing out of this world but we need to talk abt it”

               (Peter): “hey… listen u’ve been MIA for almost a week, now idk what’s going on but you can talk to me, let me help”

               (Peter): “Ned and I went over to your place to talk to you but your mom didn’t let us in. pls tell me what’s going on”

               - Damn, Peter…

               - What? – He was certain he didn’t do anything wrong but after showing Ned the texts he got a little insecure. After all, he never realized when he was messing things up, he just got super nervous and started rambling nonstop until shit hit the fan.

               - You guys are so flirty, it’s so disgusting, just ask her out already, geez.

               - Ned!

               - Okay okay, well, I admit, I didn’t see anything wrong, except for you clearly trying to flirt with her and being a total failure.

               - Shut up.

               They were sitting at their usual table in the cafeteria, theorizing about what made you go off on them. Both of them were uneasy, you were their best friend and they liked you too much to just let you push them away like this. Peter was particularly off, at the same time he was dying of worries, he was pissed at you. After all the mad shit you’ve been through together, he’d think you cared about him enough not to just ignore his complete existence out of nowhere. To be honest he was hurt about the fact that you didn’t like him as much as he liked you.

               - Yo, assholes. – Flash just jumped up at your table. – I’m trying to do some community service, so as my first act of kindness I will allow you to go to my party tomorrow. My place at 10. Don’t be weird or I’ll change my mind and kick you out of there.  Make sure (y/n) is there, she’s a sight I’d like to see at my place. See ya, losers.

               As fast as Flash got to their table, he went away, not giving the boys an opportunity to answer. Peter closed his fists so hard at the mention of your name that his knuckles turned white. Ned simply rolled his eyes and told Peter to forget about it.

               Peter took his cellphone again and opened your chat. It had been one day since he last texted you and tried to go to your place, so he was thinking whether he should tell you about the party or not. A part of him was angry and didn’t want to text you because of the shit you’ve been making him go through, but the other part was hopeful you’d show up at Flash’s and finally give him an opportunity to talk to you. He decided he missed you too much and would take any chance he could to see you. So he sent you the text.

               (Peter): “hey, Flash is throwing a party tomorrow night and he invited us. yes. all of us. anyway, it’ll be at 10. hope you show up.”

               There. Plain and simple. A loud sigh left Peter’s mouth as he hit his head on the table.

               - It’s okay, dude. She’ll be there. Don’t stress about it.

               (…)

               - Do you see her? – It was the fifth time Ned poked Peter and asked the same question. Peter felt like he was about to lose it.

               - No, dude. I’ve been looking directly at the door and she still hasn’t shown up.

               - She will come, Peter. Don’t worry. Hey, do you think Betty would be impressed with this hat I’m wearing?

               - Uhm, sure! Why don’t you go over to her?

               - Are you sure? You’ll be okay? I know (y/n) is always the one who makes you company… - Ned was about to start rambling but Peter was quick to stop him laughing.

               - Ned, I’m fine. Now go get your girl.

               - Yeah yeah, you should go get yours too, you know. Look who just showed up. – Ned pointed to the door.

               And there you were, with all your non-glory, and an alarm rang in Peter’s head almost instantaneously. The first thing he noticed was your clothing. You were wearing a jacket, which was not usual for you, who is always complaining about how hot it is, even if it´s freezing. The next thing he noticed was your body, you were thinner, not enough to make everyone notice, but he for sure did, and he for sure got worried right away. The last thing he noticed was your face. He always admired you for being so outgoing and confident, but now you looked scared and insecure, constantly looking to your sides, like the walls had spikes and the room was slowly getting smaller around you.

               After scanning the whole room, your eyes met Peter’s, he was beside Ned, looking straight at you, you forced a side smile and walked up to them.

               - Peter, Ned… Hi. – You looked really shy, something was definitely off.

               - Hey, (y/n)! Oh my God I missed you so much, where have you been? We thought you were mad at us. – Ned was as agitated as he was when he talked about Betty. You couldn’t help but smile at how excited your best friend was to see you.

               - I… I was sick, really sick. You know how it is… - You looked at Peter, but he had his eyes fixed on the floor, looking upset.

               - Of course you were. – He sighed and you felt the sarcasm in his voice.

               - Excuse me?

               - I’m not buying that, (y/n). If you really were sick you would tell us, you know, your best friends.

               - Yo, don’t put me into this mess, I’m going to talk to Betty now. But (y/n), I’ll talk to you later, okay? So happy to see you again! – Ned was quick to flee the situation, leaving you and Peter alone. You grabbed his hand and took him to the pool area, where there were less people.

               - Start talking, Parker.

               - What?

               - You were pretty quick to shoot me a snarky comment inside, so I guess you have a lot to say, right? Start talking.

               - I… I don’t have…

               - Peter, talk!

               - Why… Why would you ignore me for over a week? You were so sick you couldn’t grab your phone? And if you really were sick, why didn’t your mom tell us right away? I was so upset with you I wasn’t even going to tell you about the party, but I missed you and was worried about you and wanted to see you, and you lie to my face?

               - I shouldn’t have ignored you, I know. I’m sorry. I really am. But you want to talk about lying? What about all the times you lied right to my face for almost a year, huh? The Stark Internship, the Washington shit, me being stood up by you countless times, what about that? You didn’t tell me about the spider shit, I figured it out by myself. And it’s okay if you didn’t want to tell me, that’s your business, but don’t point your finger at me talking about fucking honesty. – Peter’s face was sad and angry at the same time as you threw the words at him.

               - You know, I only came to this shitty party to see you. – You stared right into his eyes. – I missed you and wanted to have a good time with you, but I guess that’s not going to happen so leave me alone. – At the moment Peter saw tears wanting to leave your eyes, he knew something was wrong, and that he had messed up. Big time.

               - (y/n), wait! – He tried to hold you but you sprinted back inside the house, leaving him with his thoughts.

               You were grabbing a snack at the kitchen, when you felt someone breathing down your neck. You froze instantly, trying to push away the memories. You turned and in front of you was Brad Davis. He was a good guy, but he was drunk and an alarm rang in your head.

               - What the fuck? Back off, Brad.

               - Hey, (y/n)! Long time no see, wanna dance? – He placed his hands on your shoulder, and the memories came flooding you as you tried pushing them away.

               - No.

               - Come here, I missed you. – He then pulled you in for a hug. At the moment you felt his hands on your back and waist, and smelled the alcohol exhaling from his mouth, you just couldn’t fight the memories any longer. It was like you were back your grandma’s house all over again, you started to shiver, your heart felt like it was going to go out of your chest and your vision turned black.

               - Get off of me! – You couldn’t stop yourself. You shoved him away aggressively, and punched him right in his face. It was like you were stuck in your own body, not being able to control it.

               You realized what you did when he hit the floor, nose bleeding.

               - I’m… I’m so sorry… I… - The music had stopped, you looked up and everyone was looking at you. Then you saw him. Peter. You immediately ran away and grabbed a cab down the street, ignoring Peter’s screams calling you and asking you to wait.

               By the time you got home, you were crying uncontrollably. You laid in bed and let everything sink in. You knew going to the party was a mistake but you did it anyway. Fucking stupid little girl.

               - (y/n), let me in. – You looked at your window and saw Peter with his suit on, how could he have changed clothes so fast?

               You went over and opened the window. He got in, you turned around as he changed clothes once more. You turned around again when he was done and sat on the bed. He sat beside you.

               - So, I’m an idiot. I know. – He looked at you with puppy hazel eyes and you couldn’t help but laugh a bit. – (y/n)… what happened? Please, I beg you to talk to me.

               So, you started talking immediately. The more you talked, the more you cried. You talked about how when at your grandma’s, while the whole family was going to take a picture, your old drunk cousin grabbed you by the arm to be closer to him, and started walking down your body with his hand, making you freeze with terror. You talked about how you felt like you couldn’t move or scream, about how hard he was squeezing your arm, leaving a bruise after. You talked about how you felt used, dirty, and weak, about how you should have done something, anything, but instead you stayed there like a scared little girl. You talked about how you were afraid of people touching you now, and how afraid you were of hurting people, and how that’s exactly what happened. You hurt someone, Brad. And finally, you talked about how you were feeling like your worst version of yourself, and didn’t want anyone to see that, especially Peter.

               He listened to everything quietly, and only after you finished talking was when he realized he wasn’t breathing and that you had grabbed his hand at some point. He didn’t know what to say, all he felt was hatred, so he started crying.

               - I’m so sorry, I made this whole thing about me when you were hurting so much. – You squeezed his hand when you heard he say that.

               - Listen, it’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have ignored you, I just didn’t want you to see the mess I am right now.

               - You are not a mess. It’s not your fault this happened to you. You are the strongest person that I’ve ever known, you are the utter best version of yourself and that’s one of the many reasons why I really like you and… - He suddenly stopped when he realized what he said.

               Shit.

               - You know… as a friend… my best friend! You are my best friend and I like you as my best friend and… - He stopped on his tracks when he felt you hugging him, he didn’t know what to do so he slowly and gently put his arms around you, making sure you were comfortable.

               (…)

                 After that night, things didn’t get better, but they got less worse. Peter and Ned were the only people you were comfortable with, and Peter was the only one you were physically comfortable with. You didn’t think it was possible to be closer than you were before, but it happened. Peter was super protective of you, and he didn’t even noticed. He would always hold your hand when you were walking, and would always make sure you felt safe. Every time he noticed you being anxious, he would grab your hand and caress it with his thumb, or he would play with your hair and whisper “it’s okay, I’m here with you. You are okay” into your ear. He made you feel safe, and he also made you feel weird things, mushy and warm things. He looked at you differently, you knew it, and it always made you feel like your stomach was upside down, but in a great way.

               One day, you, Peter and Ned were at the cafeteria talking, you and Peter were holding hands when you felt hands on your shoulders. You stopped moving right away

               - (y/n), nice work on that assignment! – Your Chemistry teacher said and left without letting you respond.

               Peter and Ned looked at you, clear worriedness stamped on their faces. You started to breathe heavily, your heartbeat started racing, you started shaking and your eyes got wet. Peter quickly grabbed your hand and took you away.

               He took you to the janitor’s closet, the closest thing to the cafeteria. It was so small you were pressed against each other, but Peter didn’t care about that. All he cared about was you. When he closed the door, you started sobbing.

               - Hey, hey it’s okay, I’m here. You are okay. No one’s going to hurt you, okay? I promise. – He hold you tight in his arms.

               - I… I feel dirty.

               - Here – he stood in front of you, took off his sweater, staying only with his nerdy shirt, and swept it over your shoulders. – I’m cleaning them, see? They’re clean. You’re not dirty, you are perfect.

               He wiped your tears away and started caressing your cheek, cupping your face with his hands.

               - I’m here and I’ll always be here. You are okay.

               - I’m… I’m okay.

               - See? Everything’s going to be okay. – He hugged you once more.

               - Peter? – You called against his chest.

               - Huh? – He didn’t let you go.

               - Thank you. I… I really like you too. You know, as my best friend… - You felt his heart racing. – You know what I mean.

               He let you out of his arms to look at you. He knew what you meant, he remembered the day he almost confessed his feelings, but he thought you wouldn’t have realized.

               He kept his hazel eyes glued at yours, and you could swear he was seeing through your soul at that moment. He smiled, his face lit up. You smiled. You don’t know how long you guys stayed there, but it felt like eternity and it wasn’t enough.

[purplesurveys]

711

How fast can you say the alphabet? I can say it quickly without my accent failing me, I guess? I’m too lazy to time it. What are you allergic to? None. How many serious relationships have you had? Just one. If you could read one person's mind, who would it be? I wouldn’t want to target one person like that. I’d only be picking my dog’s so I can hear what he thinks of me, ha. If someone dared you, what dare would you be afraid to attempt? Eating/drinking anything rotten.

How do you like your eggs? Scrambled or over easy. What's your most expensive piece of clothing? Probably my shoes. Most of them are several thousand bucks. What was your last big achievement? The last objectively big achievement I made was finishing the first half of my thesis and getting the go signal to finish the rest of it. But if we’re counting tiny steps that feel like big achievements, it’s having an article published in my org’s publication this week. I co-wrote it with JM and Rick, but it still feels nice to get to say I was productive during the quarantine. What famous person's memoir would you like to read? I’m willing to read anyone’s biography/autobiography since it’s one of my favorite genres. But at the moment I’m probably most willing to read something about Kim Jong Un since it’s generally hard to find material in North Korea as it is, and it would be fascinating to hear about their life and culture there. Have you ever had a "false alarm" moment, what was it about? Sure. A few months ago I was in Manila for a workshop and my car wouldn’t start when it was time to drive back home. Pressing any button on the key fob wouldn’t work and I couldn’t open the doors, so I was pretty much just locked out. I was already stuck there for a while and I was starting to panic, so I called up my parents to ask for help and they were already getting dressed to drive all the way where I was. Right before they left the house Jhian was mysteriously able to make stuff work and opened my door and I gave my parents the happiest “false alarm” ever haha. Do you know how to ride a bike? I don’t. My dad recently pumped air into the wheels of the bike that we have in the house so I can practice riding it throughout the quarantine, but I just can’t. I never did learn what my friends say when they tell me to just “find my balance.” If you could breed two species together what new animal would you create? No thanks. What 5 world leaders would you make sit down in a room to discuss issues? Isn’t that already the point of UN? If you were in the hospital who are the two people you'd want by your side? Gab and my dad. When was the last time you cried and what made you cry? Ooh ya got me. With this quarantine not letting me go anywhere and giving me new experiences, I’ve had no reason to cry lol. 

The last most vivid reason I remember crying was that one Wednesday in February where everything went wrong  – Andrew and I got red marks all over our thesis and we got practically yelled at over how bad our work had been so far; accidentally spewing peanut sauce all over the said thesis draft immediately after it was returned to us; almost losing this one thing for the org that I 100% WAS NOT allowed to lose, and having to ask Andrew to go back to campus at mid-fucking-night just to retrieve it and feeling shit the whole time for asking that of him; and having to deal with an unresponsive source for an article I needed to write and finish ASAP. I cried nonstop until like 2 AM that night. If you could ever take a street sign, what sign do you want? It’d be such a pointless steal, so no thanks. What is your favorite ride at any amusement park? Haha anything mild and for kids tbh. My stomach can’t handle rides. Have you ever raised money for charity? I haven’t spearheaded any fundraisers but I’ve donated for some, like whenever workers from exploitative corporations go to UP to visit some classes, talk about their struggles, and ask for support. How do you feel about growing older? I’ve got little time to be scared of it because getting old just happens all the time and constantly. I just take it for what it is and learn along the way. What wild animal scares you? Probs lion. I’ve never seen one in real life and movies and shows have conditioned me to think they’ll attack any human that comes close enough, soooooooo no thanks. I’d love to be corrected and to find out that they’re big softies, though. Do you think actors and athletes are overpaid? I can argue that for some actors, but definitely not athletes. Athletes bust their ass day in and day out and are in constant need of training, transportation, and the adequate gear, equipment, etc. Some actors just have to sit pretty and they wouldn’t even be good at it. Have you ever been alienated, if so for what? This was me for most of what you’d call middle school. People were starting to be more conscious of trends and using it as a basis for who to hang out with, so while everyone had a Blackberry, got side bangs, and listened to The Summer Set, I was struggling to fit in a place where my love of wrestling would be accepted. Of course there was none, and I felt left out for a while.

More recently, this was also me in applying for AIESEC but I’ve already touched on that a couple of times here. The alienation was so bad my friends and I just resort to laughing about my experience whenever it gets brought up. Have you ever not returned something you borrowed and if so what was it? I have a couple of Gab’s jackets, but she doesn’t mind me keeping them since I get cold quicker and more often. When you pack your lunch, what's your favorite packed lunch? Loooove when my dad makes curry for me to bring to school. What was the one most important thing you learned from your parents? It’s impossible to start at the bottom and work your way to the very top. I’m constantly worried about staying at the bottom, so it’s always comforting to see how far they’ve come.

On a parenting note, I’ve learned that I should talk to my future kids the way they are – kids. Ever since I can remember my mom has always gotten mad at me as if I was already an adult, so it’s made me permanently terrified of all adults/the idea of pissing anyone off. She would always just get mad, banging stuff around, and never explain to me what I did wrong, so to this day I get very self-punishing when I feel like I’ve done something wrong but don’t exactly know what it was I did.

How fast can you run? I used to be good as a kid which is what landed me on the track team in grade school, but I didn’t enjoy running so I did it less and less every year. Now I’m just meh at it. Have you done something you worry could come back to haunt you, what? Nothing that bad, no. What is your most favorite feature of your favorite electronic device? I’m very happy with the battery life of my laptop, considering how 1) my old Macbook Air only had a battery life of one hour, and 2) the laptop I had before had a damaged battery to begin with so I couldn’t even use it/bring it anywhere unless it was plugged in. The 10-hour battery life for my current one is a fucking dream for me lmao. If you had to build a small ark, what 7 animals would you save? All the endangered ones so like an elephant, Philippine eagle, panda, orangutan, tiger, and a rhinoceros. I’d save the last slot for a stray dog. What is your favorite Christmas or holiday tradition? I love going over to my mom’s cousins’ place and have our tradition of exchanging gifts singing My Monito/Monita. What novel would you love to be transported into to live out your days? I prefer non-fiction, soz. What is your favorite hiding place? MY CAR. It’s seen my worst breakdowns, my sleeping sessions in the middle of the day, and the days where I’m okay but simply need a break from everyone. If I feel like being alone I just head inside, recline my seat, and tune out the whole world. What is something your parents love that you actually love too? Indian food. Have anyone ever said "I love you" and you couldn't say it back. This is me with my mom. I’ve stopped saying “I love you” ever since I came to terms with the fact that she has brought a lot of trauma into my life and it would be unfair to the both of us (mostly me, heh) if I said it back. Have you ever ridden a camel? I haven’t. It would be very difficult to find a camel on this side of the planet.

What's been the hardest loss you've had to take? My grandfather and Nacho. What emotion is your least favorite and the one you are not in touch with? I hate feeling embarrassed obviously, but I’m regularly in touch with it because there’s always at least one event a day where I fuck up and I feel extremely embarrassed. Do you think facial moles or freckles are cute? I don’t mind them. They’re not a common facial trait where I live, so I’m more fascinated by them than anything else. Would you ever pick up a hitchhiker? I’ve read too many accounts of serial killers where hitchhikers were involved to feel skeptical about them but I know I’d also feel bad if I ignored them. I honestly don’t know what to feel about them as I don’t live in a hitchhike-y area.

What was your funniest computer or phone wallpaper? Eh, I don’t really pick wallpapers to find them funny. If you're searching for a relationship, where is your go place to look? Unapplicable for my demi ass. When and where are you happiest? Either anywhere with Gab or Skywalk with my orgmates. What was your favorite age, so far? 16 has so far been the year with the least fuckups. What is your favorite part of the day? Typically, it would be the moment I realize I’m done with everything that needed to be done for that day, like if my last meeting has ended or if I’m finished with my last class, and all that’s left to do is to drive home. What book have you read multiple times? The Septimus Heap series up til the 5th book (there are 7) only because in the past I had always made plans to restart and finish the whole series, but I never did get around to finishing it so I’ve only just kept restarting and restarting the books.   Do you keep a budget? No budget. What matters to me is at least being able to have savings at the end of the week, which is tbh not the smartest thing to do. Have you ever test driven a car you knew you weren't going to buy? Nope, I’ve never gone car shopping like that. Pretend you're doing an interview, what's the first question? Uhhhhhhhhhh idk depends on what the interview is for? What do you have a hard time visualizing? Everything. I’m not a very visual person and creativity is my weak point, so I genuinely struggle if I do have to imagine anything. Abstract reasoning has always been my least favorite part of tests. What makes you feel uncomfortable in group settings? If all of them already know each other and I am just starting to try and fit in – it’s worse if they’re all loud and extroverts. The former is what made my internship hard for me in the beginning, but thankfully they were all very nice and could tell I was shy so they knew not to overwhelm me by being too loud. What was your worst date ever? I haven’t had a bad date. Have you ever gotten in a bidding war on Ebay, if so for what item? Nope. If you had to pick one food to eat everyday for life, what would it be? Risotto or chicken wings. For dessert, macarons. Are you supportive of your friends even if you don't agree with them? As long as their choice doesn’t entail stepping on human rights, e.g. not being pro-choice or supporting a president that supports killing the poor, I’ll be fine with the disagreement. Have you ever used the opposite sex restroom in an emergency? Yeah I had a bad nausea attack one time and needed to vomit but I only had enough time to run to the men’s bathroom before I started throwing up everywhere, so that’s where I ran. What did you think was stupid until you tried it? Ube cheesecake. I really hate ube flavor and I hate everything it’s in, but I gave it a chance when a local bakeshop incorporated ube in cheesecake since it’s my favorite kind of cake. I ended up really liking it and now I often look for it when we have family get-togethers. What subject do you and your parents never see eye to eye on? Politics, duh. Where do you see yourself in 1 year's time? Having a job, out of the quarantine, maybe saving for a trip. How scared of the dark are you? I’m fine with the dark as long as I’m not somewhere that’s meant to be haunted. What is your favorite type of seafood? Crab fat, sashimi, eel, and sea urchin. What triggers your inner shopaholic? I don’t really have a trigger. I don’t even consider myself a shopaholic. I just shop for new clothes once I feel like I’ve been repeating my clothes too much. What is the rudest thing a person can do to another person in your opinion? Insulting dead parents is one. Except if you’re the Marcoses, heh. What public figure do you disagree with the most? President Duterte, obviously. I wanna barf just having to call him President. Do you think you could ever be a firefighter, why/why not? Nope, because I’m terrified of fire and I don’t have half the stamina needed to carry the shit they have to lift when they have to put out fires. What is/was your favorite bedtime story? I don’t have any. My favorite kids’ book was Corduroy, though. What was the last thing to make you feel happy? My dog going down the stairs and going straight to me for pats once he was done. What is your opinion on rats as pets? Rats are pests here so I find it pretty disgusting. I think hamsters are fine, though. What is something you're afraid to try? Cliff diving, bungee jumping... anything that would give me the sensation of leaving my stomach behind lmao. What cartoon character best describes you? Mr. Peanutbutter from BoJack Horseman. What keeps you interested in your goals or dreams? The fact that I went through so much shit as a child/teenager that I absolutely have to make myself happy in the end, and I can only do that by achieving my goals. What is your favorite actress beginning with the letter J? Jessica Chastain. What song makes you dance uncontrollably? Crazy in Love by Beyoncé, heh. If you wanted to live off the radar where would you live? I was gonna say Sagada but everyone knows it’s my favorite place so it’d probably be one of the first areas they’d start to look... so I’d go with Batanes. That place can’t get any more secretive with their sporadic phone signal and nonexistent internet/data connection. Do you like nachos, if so what topping is a MUST have? Melted cheese. Do you have any subscriptions? Netflix and (technically) Spotify. Which is better, Mario or Sonic? Mario. I’ve never played a Sonic game and I’ve only ever encountered him playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl, which is a Mario-themed game to begin with. Who is the most creative person you know? Alex, someone from my high school who can recreate any. thing. Art is in her blood; she was my seatmate for one sem and she was constantly doodling and drawing and making new stuff in every class we were in. Besides a pickle, what is your favorite thing pickled? I hate pickles and anything pickled :/ Not really in the Filipino palate. What did you do for your 21st birthday? If not, 21 what are your plans? I celebrated it mostly alone because Gab couldn’t be present. Angela made me feel better by taking me to dinner and an arcade.

Are you a role model for anyone in your life? I dunno. I hope so, for at least one person. What song do you hate the most? Any song by The Vamps or Meghan Trainor. Do you think you need to slow down and enjoy life more? Isn’t slowing down what we’re all kinda forced to do right now? Can you impersonate anyone famous? Eh, sure. It’s fun to copy Gordon Ramsay for one hahaha. If you could go back in time to change one thing what would it be? Going out of my shell as early as freshman year and avoiding the semester-long breakdown/depressive episode I had. Can you honestly say you're enjoying your life right now? I can’t say I’m unhappy lmao. I have no problem doing nothing at home for more than a month – besides, this already serves as the break I planned to have shortly after graduating. After this I’ll be really ready to start looking for a job. What is your favorite salty snack? Pringles. What is your favorite restaurant? Yabu, Torch, Pound by Todd English, or Frankies. Idk man, I’m craving so much shit now that I haven’t eaten out for more than a month.  Have you ever been in a play for school? Yeah, we were all required to be in all the annual school productions from kinder to senior year.