#I have been missing this blog but I do need to prioritise.

[aortaobservatory]

Hi, its the ‘The Supid’ dream guy! I just wanted to send you good vibes, youve been gone a bit and i miss my sheduled understanding claspect dosages (/lh)

Manifesting this flus defeat and your quick recovery!

(Sorry if this is weird or crosses normal boundaries)

Yes, I remember you. Thank you for the well wishes ❤️ you made my day.

I have since recovered (at least partially; I have also contracted a post-viral infection that is gradually ceasing. Very slowly.), but I have been busy with both offline and online affairs. My job, and the commissions I take on my main blog. I hesitate to bring it here, as it isn't the purpose of this blog, but I will likely not be here for another moment. The commissions I take on are my priority first and foremost.

I will be getting to the questionnaire answers soon, however! My apologies for the wait, and thank you for your patience.

[orangepeelshortbreadcookies]

What do you think show!Colin’s characterization/personality is? It’s inconsistent throughout the series and I’m curious as to what I’m missing as people seem to love him and I feel like I’m missing something. He’s sweet, he likes to travel, he’s got a hero complex (that is never explained why), but he doesn’t seem all that close with his siblings and prefers traveling or seeking out Marina or Penelope

(I’m asking you because I like a lot of your other Bridgerton opinions and wanted to hear your thoughts once again)

Hii!!! First of all, my beautiful friend @dollypopup has a lot of thoughts about his character and she has largely succeeded in converting me from a Colin agnostic to a Colin appreciator. I highly recommend checking out her blog!

Ah, Colin, my neglected little cinnamon roll of failed potentials who deserved better. There were flickering moments in time that I've considered the writers of Bridgerton value him more than an attractive, unquestioningly agreeable eventual trophy for Penelope. I miss those days. I think before the showrunner changed, there were glimmers of Colin's character that would have been worthwhile to explore had they stuck to their guns and followed book orders. I think he has a lot in common with how they wrote Francesca in season 4: he's the most timid one among his brothers. He's walking earnestness and a people-pleaser. He mostly only has a bigger personality when he's among family. He has massive middle-child syndrome, which I think in parts explain the hero complex. He is possibly on the spectrum. He has difficulties deciphering social cues and despite a rich inner life, verbally he is not very eloquent, especially in a public setting. He's honest and probably not very good with money.

(Remember that adorable scene in season 1 when he sings while Frannie plays the piano? The show owes me particularly compensation for squandering that potential).

All of these make very solid foundations for a compelling character to spring from. But then, to come to these conclusions, I'll admit it takes a considerable amount of intepretive work, work that a big chunk of fandom, who prefer fast, easily-digestible content, have no interest in engaging with, and work that the sensationalism-prioritising writing discards to accomodate the short 8-episode format.

I do see where you're coming from with his character being written inconsistently. There were a lot of seeds planted in the first two seasons for his character getting thrown out of the window. Luke N did the best with what he got, and to me Colin comes off as a lost, insecure boy trying out different personalities in order to fit in. To an extent, I even sympathise with the 'Colin gives the ick' camp. There were multiple instances in season 3 where he talked to people (both men and women) about his travels that gave me major 'shallow rich boy after a gap year abroad' vibe. That being said, to pay that off with him eventually confronting his "friends" about the abysmal quality of their conversations was very nice. Such a shame he did not have enough screentime to invest in his true personality away from that scene to better drive that point home, being reduced to a secondary character in his own season. I don't remember Colin ever had any substantial conversation about his travels (which can be character-building and fulfilling) or interests after that confrontation, not one for the sake of his own character-building instead of some detail subservient to Pen's needs for validation. He should really have had at least a moment like the swing-scene between Eloise and Benedict (Colin-Francesca piano duet musings!!! I was ROBBED.)

Honestly, the problem here imo is that the writers, especially ones from season 3, just don't like Colin very much. It's pretty telling when he's the lead character with the least amount of screentime across 3 seasons. Many among the fandom echo that sentiment. His existence (among many other characters that suffer a personality lobotomy) in his own damn season is to absolve Penelope of guilt and consequences for her toxic actions. His hurt, his loss, his feelings, are secondary on the grand scheme of the show's narrative, ultimately they are obsolete and more or less an inconvenience to Penelope's HEA. The same applies to characters like Marina and Kate, and to some extent, Eloise. There are still highlights though, like his utterly distraught reaction at discovering Pen's Whistledown. And despite the ardent complaints about him refusing to share a bed with Pen on their wedding night, I'll maintain that it was one of his best moments, as he was still steadfast in his love for her but also setting clear boundaries regarding his substantial (and pretty fucking justifiable) hurt. I was so proud of him.

[autisticlancemcclain]

PSA

hello everyone!! a bit of a serious post today.

i don't want to sound whiney. but i have noticed a bit of a tone in a couple of my asks lately?? very few of them, let me assure, but a couple people seem to be frustrated at the speed/rate at which i answer asks. so i wanted to help clear the air.

REASONS I HAVE NOT YET ANSWERED YOUR ASK (THAT I AM VERY GRATEFUL TO HAVE):

i am in the process of answering it

sometimes i get asks for certain fics, to either write or to help find. and these things take time! sometimes i get very lucky and fics hit me as soon as i see them, but more often it takes me days or weeks! and fic searches take me even longer!

2. i have other ideas

you guys have a lot of great headcanons and fic premises! i do too. i've been in this fandom since june of 2016, there's a very VERY long list of things i want to write. things get added to the roster, i promise.

3. i am busy

i am in school full time and working part time and volunteering and preparing for teacher's college admissions. writing is my favourite thing to do every day and while i do prioritise it i cannot have it as my first priority. often, this blog gets pushed back when i get busy, as much as i wish that wasn't the case.

4. i am overwhelmed

sometimes the asks pile up. i try to answer comments as they come but for some reason asks work a little bit differently in my brain?? idk. it can be harder for me to force myself to start answering them, even though i love receiving them and when i'm in the mood i could answer fifty at once.

and very, very rarely:

5. i simply do not vibe with it

it happens occasionally. i have a very niche corner of headcanons and stuff i enjoy writing, so it's bound that every once in a while someone sends me an ask with their ideas that just aren't what i personally would read/write. doesn't mean the idea is bad or that i don't enjoy getting excited about your ideas with you, it's just not always going to be something i have the train of thought to write :)

i hope that's not disappointing! i know there are a couple asks that have been sitting in my inbox for over a YEAR. i am getting to them, i promise. one such ask has even inspired a novel-length fic that i'm still working on. finally, i want to remind you guys that i am autistic, and as much as i'm fully capable of handling myself online and everywhere else, i do struggle to read and understand tone and social cues and as such can often miss offense where it is intended or find it where it is not. i can't even tell you if the two examples i included are actually objectively rude/demanding, i can only tell you that they felt that way. there is no need to censor yourself or be anxious to shoot me a message, just maybe remember that i'm doing this for fun? and it frustrates me when it's treated as if it's a job. if you're worried about coming off as demanding, let me know and i'll post some examples of requests that i don't find demanding at all, only excited (which is, and i can't stress this enough, the vast majority of every message i see). thank you guys and ily <333

[jinnie-ret]

umm... hi! So some of you may have noticed I've been gone for a small while, so I thought I'd explain why. Everything is fine! I've just been really busy in my personal life and with my training so I haven't had time for tumblr really, which was sad but I had to prioritise things at the time. Now that I'm on a break right now and will have more time when I'm back at uni, I can be active again!

Thank you so much to everyone who has sent an ask in or to anyone that has found this blog and continued to support it! It really means the world. I hope we can continue to grow this blog together and I can show you a lot more of my work. Thank you to my mooties as well, and I'm sorry if I have concerned anyone with my quietness on the app. Prepare for an influx of me answering asks and reblogging things - I've got a lot to catch up on!

sorry again if anyone has been worried, but hi! I'm back! :)))

here is a small teaser of a wip that'll get posted at some point lol, I've still got the 1K event to finish!

That was just one of many books on love that she had dragged out time and time again from her bulging bookshelf, yet this time it was resting on her bedside table next to her third cup of coffee of the day. The dark roast permeated around her recluse of a bedroom, mixing in with the smells from the old, worn pages of the information she was engraving into her brain. She would study it meticulously, not wanting to miss a single hint that would lead her to finding the love of her life.

It was a song and dance of a routine that she fell into so easily, particularly when her other friends in their early twenties seemed to have their soulmates appear in front of them by pure chance. Like the moment had fallen into their laps so easily. Like they didn't need to do anything to deserve that.

She envied them for that.

[busyralph]

busy streets and busy lives • ralph penbury x reader

A strange day at work gets even stranger when you meet a man who claims he's from 1926. With no certainty as to when he can get back, you decide to take him in until that time arrives.

masterlist

Tags: Timewasters (series), modern!au, established relationship, 18+ (MINORS DNI), protected sex (p in v), fingering (f receiving)

Word count: 2.4k

Summary: When we last left the Busy Streets and Busy Lives universe, you’d been considering getting a new job now that you’ve moved into Ralph’s house with him. But part of starting a new job means having to make a good impression, letting your work speak for you. And in prioritising that, you’ve been a little neglectful of your own desires, as well as somebody else’s…

A/N: God, I missed writing these idiots. Just a quick, smutty lil thing because I didn't know how to jump back in lmao. Not all epilogues will be smutty, but a bitch has needs too, y'know.

(Also, in case you haven't seen yet, don't worry, this is @quinnkeerys themself lol, I just made this blog to keep bsbl alive :))

Ralph knocks tentatively on the door to the room that you’ve converted into your new office as you rest your temples on the heels of your hands and growl in frustration at your laptop. You look over your shoulder and your face softens into a smile. “God, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” you smile wearily as he approaches you.

“How goes your latest project, my love?” He asks, draping his arms over you and peppering kisses along your cheek.

“Take a wild guess,” you scoff, shaking your head. “I get that I left the shop because I wanted a challenge, but my god, at what cost?”

“A job far more stimulating than the same old, same old? One that’s closer to where we live now?” Ralph suggests, pressing a kiss to the top of your head and breathing deeply. “You’ve been at your desk an awful long time, darling. Perhaps you could take a break?”

You squeeze your eyes shut and shake your head. “Can’t. Gotta stay on task.”

Ralph frowns. “Something ails you. Something other than the job at hand.” His thumbs start to rub circles into your back, his fingers working your shoulders. “You’re stressing yourself out far too much, dearest. You’ll make yourself ill, and you’ll be far worse off for it.”

You allow yourself a fraction of a second to lean into his touch before bringing yourself back to reality. “Look, I just - I made a good first impression and I really need to keep it up.”

“Your work will suffer from your stress, too,” Ralph points out. “And I miss you terribly.”

“Ralph…” you coo, moving a hand up to ghost over one of his as he continues massaging your shoulders. "Miss you, too."

"Take a break," Ralph repeats, a little more deliberation in his tone, swivelling you around in your chair. "Come with me." You take the hand he extends to you and stand to let him guide you to the bedroom. You give him a look, one that's about to tease him for having one thing on the brain, but instead he ignores it to ask you, "Would you lay down on your stomach?" as he presents the bed to you.

"What are you trying to do to me, Penbury?" You ask slyly as you clamber onto the bed, burying half your face into the pillows.

"Just trying to look after you, my treasure," he simpers, kneeling beside you to resume massaging your shoulders. "Help you… Slow things down, for a night."

You lift your head. "A whole night? Ralph, I -" He gently shushes you back into silence, working your shoulders and neck until you melt back into the plush of your bed. "Mmm, this is a dangerous skill you've got," you smile defeatedly. "How long have you been hiding this?"

"I must admit, I am aware of its… Effect," you can hear the proud little smile in Ralph's voice. "Which is why I only wanted to share it with you when necessary, and not a moment sooner. Just relax, darling," he purrs as he moves his hands to instead slide beneath your shirt, working the supple flesh of your back.

"God, Ralph, that feels so good," you drawl, completely becoming one with the mattress.

"I bet it does, my love," that same tone that tells you he's smiling proudly returns. "Just feel my fingers pressing into you, pushing all of that horrible tension away. For tonight, at least, it shall no longer consume you, my beloved."

His hands move lower and lower, until they're pressing just where the curve of your ass begins. Your hips wiggle involuntarily at the thought of Ralph caressing your ass, and you can't catch the automatic whimper that leaves your throat when his hands slide back up again. "Ralph…" you moan softly.

"Yes, love? Would you like me to…?" He doesn't say it, but his hands make their way down your bare back and then over your clothed cheeks. He slides his palms over your curves and only grips once he's at your thighs. "Is this where you need me?"

"I don't think the clothes are helping," you smirk, and he takes heed, tapping on your hips to silently ask you to lift them as he slowly undresses your lower half. Once your legs are completely bare, he gets to work again, massaging your feet, your ankles, up your legs to your thighs. Not saying a word, but humming in the most delectable way the whole time. 

As he caresses your ass, pressing and squeezing and grabbing in ways that have you chirping and squealing in excitement, Ralph coos, "There's part of you that I've yet to touch, darling." He moves one hand to grip the very topmost part of your inner thigh, ghosting his thumb up across your folds. "Would you l-"

"Yes," you interject hastily. "God, yes, Ralph, please touch me there," you whine, and his face lifts into a soft, warm smile.

"As you wish, my love. Though it would probably be more fruitful for you to lay on your back for that."

It feels like a chore, bringing yourself out of such a relaxed stupor just to flip yourself over, but you undress your top half in the process, too. Once you're comfortable again, and Ralph starts to get back into position, you stop him. "I think you need your shirt off, too, Ralphie."

A small, playful smirk adorns his face. "Would that help you to relax?"

You nod earnestly. "Most definitely." Amused, Ralph slips out of the quarter-zip he'd been wearing, his smile even bigger as you silently encourage him to also take off the T-shirt he'd been wearing underneath.

Once it's off, before you can try and convince him of any more, he bends down to kiss you. His hand strokes at your jaw until it opens to allow your tongue to meet with his. This kiss is different though - it's not a wild and fiery tango within your mouths; it's a slow, deliberate, controlled waltz that Ralph is definitely leading. The hums you fill the kiss with turn into full-blown moans when he reaches his hands down to grope both of your breasts.

He continues to massage them while kissing you for some time, before moving down silently to start kissing your neck, down the valley of your breasts, until his lips latch around one of your nipples. Despite your head being clouded with arousal, you still can't fight off a smile as Ralph still finds a way to include his favourite form of affection.

You prop yourself up on your elbow to watch him, playing with the loose curls that fall against his forehead as you smirk, "You really like it there, huh, baby?" He chirps happily, letting one go with a satisfyingly wet pop before moving to suckle on the other. He looks up at you adoringly, humming delightfully as his mouth caresses your sensitive nub. "So good to me," you purr.

He kisses further down your body, smattering the expanse of your tummy with soft, sweet pecks. He crawls backwards as he keeps kissing lower and lower down your body, until he naturally falls into place between your legs. His mouth wraps around your clit as he effortlessly sinks two fingers inside of you. You keen against him, whining loudly. Ralph's cheeks dust your thighs as he smiles, "That's it, my darling. Empty yourself of all other thoughts. It's just you and me. And I live to satisfy you."

"Mmm, y'go… Above and beyond that, Ralphie," you drawl, your hips squirming against him. "Shit, baby, m'g'nna… Gonna cum…"

"Oh, please do," Ralph begs as he curls his fingers, rubbing your clit with his thumb at the same time in such a way that you’re climaxing over his hand in seconds; overwhelmingly so, you feel it shooting through your nervous system, followed by a weighted feeling of pure calm, relaxing every one of those nerves.

As you recover, you hear him noisily and delightfully sucking his fingers clean. With a soft smile, you tap his head and gesture for him to move up to be face level with you. He practically pounces back up and immediately kisses you, his dry hand splaying across your cheek. You chuckle against his lips, “How did you know that’s what I wanted from you?”

“I was simply acting upon my own impulse,” he grins back. “Any reciprocation is just a bonus.”

“Speaking of reciprocating…” You start, looking him in the eyes suggestively as your fingers trace routes between each of the freckles along his chest and shoulders, committed to muscle memory by this point. Ralph’s brow furrows, and you allow yourself a quiet, breathy laugh. “I know, I know, you wanted to relax me and not the other way around, but if you wanted to keep me distracted…”

“How do you want me, darling?” He asks, hurriedly shimmying out of the rest of his clothes before reaching for the nightstand. He scrambles to grab a condom and slides it on with ease, looking over at you in anticipation.

"I don’t care how,” you shake your head. “Only as long as you want it, too, not just for me," your eyebrows knit with concern, and he smiles warmly down at you.

"Darling, I assure you that the day I would not want for you, is the day I should be put down like an old dog."

"Ralph!" You giggle as he starts to kiss your neck. 

“Shhh, just relax,” he soothes, gently shushing between pecks. “Empty your mind again. Let me take care of you.” You nod, and he reaches down to line himself up with you.

You smirk up at him, reaching up to play with his hair, “My Ralphie already hard for me?”

He whines out an mm-hm. “Missed touching you like this… Being so close to you, again…”

“’M sorry, baby,” you pout. “I promise I’ll make more time for you.”

You feel his tip barely penetrating you and inhale deeply, basking in the anticipation of feeling Ralph inside of you again, but he stops to look up at you again. “Promise for you, also.” You look at him quizzically, and he elaborates. “Promise you’ll make time for you, as well.”

Your face melts into a warm smile. "Yes, Ralph. I promise I'll do better at looking after myself."

His whole expression lights up as he presses himself inside of you, and he revels in watching your entire self form a puddle beneath him. He anchors his fists into your sheets deeply as he feels your walls clench over his cock, and buries his face into your neck again. “My darling,” he whines, “please forgive me.”

“Forgive you?” you frown. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” He replies hurriedly, still muffled from where his head is sunk. “I just… I think I might… Not last as long as I’d hoped to please you for.”

You fall into a soft laughter as you run your fingers back and forth through his curls. “Don’t worry, baby,” you coo. “The way you’ve taken care of me tonight, I won’t, either.” You let out a long, stuttered gasp as his hips snap against yours. “Fuck, especially if you keep hitting that spot.”

His lips turn up into a small smile as he pulls back to push himself in faster. “Did you mean that one, by chance?” he teases.

You mewl, “God, yes, Ralph, please don’t stop.”

“Not to worry, darling, I don’t plan to,” he smirks as he keeps fucking into you. Your fingers dig into his shoulders, your heels into his back as you feel your second climax quickly building.

You hum out, “Mmm, Ralph… Close, again… Are you?”

“I shan’t be far behind you, I’m sure,” he coos, reaching between you to rub at your clit. Your field of vision fills with spots of colour as he gets you to your second apex. The first one had felt more like a sea of calm washing over you; this one is a final spark of pleasure, an explosion from your core to the very tips of your fingers and toes. Ralph presses his forehead against yours as he thrusts into you one final time.

You stay there, foreheads touching, breathing in each others’ air for a good few minutes before Ralph finally pulls himself out of you. “I’ll be right back, darling,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to your forehead, another to your nose and a final one to your lips before going to the bathroom to clean up.

He soon returns to the bedroom, though not before hunting through his drawers to find a sweater he knows you’ll find comfortable. Tired, you muse with a small smirk, “Not even giving me my most favourite one?” as you pull it over your head.

“Apologies, darling, but I had promised Alex I’d wear it to work tomorrow. Apparently they have a similar one in red and there’s something of a match, there,” he throws his T-shirt and boxers back on before climbing back into bed with you and wrapping you in an embrace. “And besides, you’d only perspire and make yourself uncomfortable.”

You roll over in his arms with a grin. “Please take so many photos of you both as human versions of the Cookie Monster and Elmo.”

“I’m sure we will, darling,” he smiles sleepily, kissing your forehead once more before you curl yourself up to nestle your head in the crook of his neck.

“Thank you for tonight,” you pipe up. “And I’m… Sorry I���ve been neglecting us both.”

“Don’t be,” he soothes. “I understand. But I hope now you understand the importance of taking a break.”

“When you make it so appealing, how could I not?” You smile against his skin, pressing more kisses to his neck as he squeezes you tighter. “But you’re right. I’ll make more time for us. And not just for this, for… Everything. I miss living life with you.”

“Well, thankfully, I do plan on living the rest of my life with you, so what’s a day or two here and there?” he smiles into your hair, and you can’t help but laugh.

“You’re so corny sometimes, you know that?” You ask lightly, squeezing your arms around him.

“You remind me constantly, dear,” he agrees with a soft laugh lilting his own tone, too. 

“Good job I love you, isn’t it?” you tease. “Goodnight, Ralphie.”

“Good night, my love. Pleasant dreams.”

[uravityxo]

𝘽𝙇𝙊𝙂 𝙋𝙇𝘼𝙉𝙎 ; important !!!

heyhey friends !! just dropping by to say a few things, a little update for all of you about my plans with this blog and some other ideas/blogs i wanna do !! so here is a lil list of my plans,, please read if you have the time just so you're aware !! i'll hide below cut as there's quite a bit to share !!

✩ ⸺ i am going to prioritise replies that i'm feeling the most at the time. this does not mean i won't reply to yours. i will get around to it at some point. but i've recently realised i found it easier to get back into writing and to write what im feeling over "what needs replies first" !! don't worry !! i will get to it- however if you think i missed a reply or something.. please message me and let me know !!

✩ ⸺ thread tracker has just been set up, however i'm still getting the hang of it and adding everything/figuring it out !! however i fully intend to try keep this constantly updated !! i'll slowly start getting to it though, so if there's a thread you want me to add to it- let me know and i'll add it on sooner rather than later !!

✩ ⸺ inbox and asks !! i have so many sitting in there and i promise i will get to them, but another thing im focusing on is current threads and getting the replies and starters i owe out first !! and then i'll eventually get around to my inbox !! im sorry for such a long delay with inbox stuff... i really do apologise for it taking a long time.

✩ ⸺ denki kaminari blog is actually going to be revived (for real this time), i have many plans for him and i'm super excited to finally get to writing him again. however it will either be low activity or inactive until i get replies on this blog under control !! if you want to follow the blog, let me know and i'll send it your way/follow you from there !!

✩ ⸺ multimuse and oc blog is also under the works, at first i was considering having a multimuse oc blog AND a multimuse canon blog however i feel that'd be TOO much to handle. so i'm going to combine the two blogs together. this will most likely always be low activity for whenever i'm feeling a certain muse !! ochako and denki are my main muses! which is why they're going to have their own blogs !!

✩ ⸺ headcanons and stuff , im considering starting to write headcanons and drabbles (is that what they're called?) !! just for when im not vibing with any replies and still want to let out some creativity !! so expect to see those more <33

thank you for giving this a lil read my friends !! i will reblog later for people who aren't online rn !! but yea... i thought i'd share all this stuff for people just so you all know whats going on 🩷🪱

[bongilicus]

Hi! readerinsertsaremyguiltypleasure, here (it's a side blog, so I can't send asks under the url). The emoji prompt game looks great! I may have to return the favour and use it for inspiration for one of my own games in the future lol.

Can you do something with ⏳(time) for Billy Russo? I'd love to hear your thoughts about how he would prioritise time with his partner vs time with Anvil.

hi hi hi omg omg so sorry for like ghosting this game for however long i am here i'm alive ;-; time is wild and much too quick for my brain holy balls. thank you so much for the idea of a fanfic game again, the inspiration was everything i needed ur such a legend <3 i genuinely loved this one and it threw me through a loop because bae Billy has so many sneaky facets of his character i tried a few different directions before going down this route. my understanding of billy is that he wants to be the best bf/partner possible especially if he thinks he's in love but at the end of the day his need to be the best/most successful wins out. billy's priority is billy and love won't change that.

⏳ ▬ 𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐎

time scenario with Billy Russo for my emoji prompt event! you can find the event guidelines here, and my complete masterlist here! // warnings; minorly(?) unhealthy relationship, mild angst !!!

You want to think of Billy as the attentive, loving boyfriend you know he can be. The boyfriend he is. Sometimes. 

You know he wants you, know he loves you. But the desire, the need to become everything he was told he couldn’t be too often wins out. He’s the epitome of power and success and he’ll kill die to keep it that way. You’ve watched him work his way up the ranks of the military, stood by his side as he built Anvil up from the ground, and yet you continue to fight the feeling that every step up the ladder is a step further away from you. 

He’s everything you’ve ever wanted, the only person you think you’ve ever really loved and yet you haven’t ever really been sure he would say the same. It’s not like you’ve asked but the only reason you haven’t is because you’re terrified you already know the answer. 

But he’s there. He returns home every evening and lets you know with an apology if he can’t. He’s gentle when you need it and flirts with you even though he wooed you years ago. He’s punctual and honest and even when he’s frustrated he never takes it out on you. But there’s nothing like missing the man that sleeps beside you each night.

But every time things are looking rougher than ever he makes it up to you. It’s like he has a sixth sense that alerts him when you’re feeling that bit more disheartened by the lack of time the two of you spend together. 

Amid an extra busy week for him you get the “Dinner?” text and things feel okay again. Sitting across from him in a nice restaurant in a nice dress with his eyes on you and only you for the rest of the night works wonders towards feeling like a priority. It’s like the two of you have your own little world, as opposed to you being an addition to his.

When you’re walking home, your hand in his, he turns to look at you with a soft smile. “You’re too good to me,” he said, squeezing your hand.

Scoffing, you said, “or just good enough I think.”

“Maybe,” he replied thoughtfully. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

You knew he was just saying that. Didn’t hurt to hear though. If you pretended to believe him your heart ached a little less.

The next week he arrived home early every day, sitting with you as you made dinner, or cutting up onions when your eyes started to water. You began to get into a routine of having him there, of feeling like the two of you really did share this life you had. You let yourself get used to him in such quantities. A mistake. 

Before you knew it he was kissing you goodbye and promising to be back in two weeks. It was like being winded. 

You got the phone calls, every morning, every night, occasionally at lunch. But even though he was at the other end of the line, he was suffocatingly out of reach. 

“I miss you, Billy,” you whispered into the phone one night as you lay in bed, “Like really miss you.” His slightly distorted chuckle made you want to cry.

“I know, baby, but I’ll be home before you know it. It’s only two more days.”

“I miss you even when you are here.” It was so quiet, your confession squeaked out into the world. 

A desolate silence filled the space around the both of you as you processed the implications of what you’d just said. His lack of response was crushing but what was he supposed to say?

“I’ll see you Friday?” you asked, unable to take it any longer.

“Yeah, Friday. I’ll text you when the plane lands.” There was an unease to his tone.

“Okay.” 

When he got back it was the same as it had been and nothing was said about you missing him. You couldn’t quite tell if he held you a little tighter and a little closer than before or if you were just looking for something that wasn’t there.

A month or-so later you woke up sweaty and thirstier than you’d ever been at about one in the afternoon. Everything ached and the trip to the bathroom and back took you a good half hour. When Billy got home he called out to you, concerned by the lack of lights on through your apartment. You could only groan in response. 

Seeing you wrapped up in the covers he sucked in a breath. “Jesus, sweetheart. You look like shit.”

“Feel like it too,” you croaked. He left the room and came back with some water. Sitting on the edge of the bed he carefully tipped some into your mouth. 

“I’ll call the doctor, I’ll be back in a sec.”

He came back to you asleep again. 

You didn’t comprehend the reality of it at first, focusing solely on the fact your darling lover was bringing you soup and water every time you woke up. Pleased only that you were able to stay wrapped up in bed and have your every whim catered to. It wasn’t until a couple of days later when the brain fog cleared and you walked into the kitchen to find him reading a book at the kitchen counter that you realised the significance of it.

“Shouldn’t you be at work?” You asked, wrapping your dressing gown around yourself tighter. Billy looked up, smiling at the sight of you.

Shoving the bookmark in and shutting his book, he got up to approach you. “Look at you, up and moving. I take it you’re feeling better?” he said, putting a hand on either side of you to steady you.

“Sorta,” you said, recognizing the dull clamping ache on either side of your head, “but what are you doing here? I thought you had those meetings with the Hospital’s Security Board this week?”

“I did.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

“Well, they were happy to postpone them at the threat of me spreading whatever nasty bug has got you all dopey. That being said, as happy as I am to see you out of it, how about we get you back into bed?” He gave you a quick peck on the forehead before ushering you back down the hall.

“Billy,” you said, almost scolding him, “why would you do that? Securing that contract is gonna be huge.”

He laughed. “And what, you just wanted me to let you suffer here alone when you could barely form a coherent sentence?”

“Those meetings were important.”

“And you’re not?” That shut you up. 

You stared up at him in mild shock as he tucked you back in. “I just think it’s a big risk you’re taking, is all.”

“Not really,” he said, brushing some hair that had been clinging to your forehead behind your ear. “Besides, I have to take care of my girl.” You hadn’t felt that safe in a while. 

But before you knew it you were back in the cycle.

The fight had started over him scheduling a meeting on your anniversary and simply assuming you'd happily do something later that evening or the next day.

“I just want to be a priority for once! Is it really too much to ask!”

“Everything I do, I do for us. For you. Alright?” he said, grabbing you firmly by the shoulders. “To give you everything you want.”

“But I just want you.”

“You have me,” he reassured, reaching up to cup your face, stroking your cheek. 

The kiss he gave you was painful. He was so gentle about it but it tore into you. It felt like he was trying to prove to you that he was all yours. With his hand cupping your cheek and the other firm on your waist, holding you to him, it would’ve been so easy to let your guard down and believe him. But you’d learnt. You knew the cycle you were locked in wouldn’t just crumble the moment you asked it to. 

“And you have me, Billy,” you said, pulling away, “but it doesn't feel like that’s enough for you.”

“Of course it is, of course you are.”

“What about everything else? Will anything ever be enough for you?”

He just stared at you, unreadable dark eyes looking into your soul. 

“It’s not that simple.”

“Why not?” You dug your fingers into his shirt, grabbing fistfuls of the fabric in a desperate attempt to hold him there, to feel like you had some, any power over him. “Why can’t it be that simple?” You were overwhelmed by the urge to just shake him, force some sense into him.

“Because nothing ever is.” He drew you closer, coaxing you to rest your head on his shoulder as he kissed your temple. “Let me do this for us. I am all yours, I promise.”

if you want to see more check out my event! many thanks for reading and any and all reblogs and comments + feedback are appreciated x

[alarrytale]

Every single ask on your blog for the last few days has been dragging him and you have not been posting the onea supporting him because I have been sending them. Do you like him at all? Your blog says that you absolutely hate him and you think he is an unprofessional slob who doesn't know how to put on the show. You think he should bow down to the great Harry styles and learn everything that he has to teach Louis.

Hello, anon!

I do not think you understand the volume of asks i get. I can't possibly answer them all. If you make generalisations about larries, use ableisms, are calling Harry a clown or Louis a wreck i will not prioritise to answer your ask.

My opinion is my opinion, this is my blog. I do not speak for all larries and when i do it's my understanding of larries that i'm speaking on. You don’t have to agree with a single thing i say. You can send an ask saying you don’t agree and bring your arguments why. Okay?

I also think you need to deal with people criticizing both H and L. They've both got their strengths and weaknesses. I critizise them both pretty equally (as the state of my inbox like to remind me), but right now the topic of conversation is Louis as a performer. That's natural since he just played a huge show and a leg of tour. Some fans have said that they didn’t have the best experience.

I'm not dragging him. We are questioning why he is not making more of an effort to make his shows better and we are discussing different suggestions for how he could improve.

You should recognise that Louis' shows have room for improvement and that Louis himself as a performer has got room for improvement. We all love Louis here, but loving Louis doesn’t mean agreeing with everything he does and let him take you as a fan for granted. You are a fan and you're allowed to demand he shows you as a fan, who's travelled far and paid half a pay check for a ticket, respect enough to know his own lyrics. If he wants to keep playing shows to larger and larger audiences and gain more and more fans he needs to show improvement.

I've said so many times now, but reading comprehension is low, that i'm not comparing him to H. They're different people with different styles and music. Some things H is better at than L, and some things L are better at than H. Regardless of that, i do know that Louis can do better and be better than what he's currently showing us. I've seen him done it before. He never missed a lyric in 1D, he moved on stage, he smiled at fans, he talked and bantered with the drummer or guitarist. Yeah, some of that confidence came with sharing a stage, but he's older now and should be able to let loose a bit. He's surrounded by people who loves him. He's done it before he can do it again.

[forabeatofadrum]

Hello and yes, yes, we know the drill El WooWoo but ALSO happy Spotify Wrapped. Glee is my top artist. 8 songs of my top 10 are from the Heartstopper soundtrack. This makes sense. Anyway, thank you @martsonmars and @facewithoutheart​ for the tags. And a happy Spotify Wrapped to you.

I am having a blast with my COC fic There’s nothing ironic about show choir, especially since I just established that yes, there is a rivalry between choirs, but no, no one takes it as seriously as Simon and Baz and I am just obsessed with them not realising it since they’re too caught up in being obsessed with each other.

“What are you doing?”

I look up from my notebook.

Simon’s standing in the doorway.

“I live here, remember?” I deadpan.

“Yes, but you’re usually not… here.”

It’s true. We’ve been living here for over seven years, but we both avoid this place like the plague. It’s very hard to miss that we share the room, though. My wall is filled with violet banners, flags, crests and pennants with the Vitis logo. Simon’s wall is filled with the scarlet Rutaceae variants.

(Agatha hates it and wonders why we also have to take the rivalry outside of choir.) (Does she not see that there is no ‘outside of choir’?)

Ha, ha, ha, scarlet and violet where did I get that from?

It’s also Advent time TOMORROW 🤯🤯🤯. Time caught up with me cause I have nothing prepared yet apart from the two snippets that I’ve shared before. But I will be fine. I am prioritising my Klaine Secret Santa fic over the Advent one anyway, but I do want to start tomorrow. (I still need a goddamn title!)

I also have some... sentimental musings. I shall put them under the cut with the tags. It’s not a snippet, just some thots.

Basically I was going through my archive on this blog to find the other WIP Wednesday Hospital posts since I wanted to link them in last week’s post (please clap) and I saw that I first started doing these SSS/WW tags in October 2021, when Marta first tagged me. I remember being so nervous about it, and now it has become a nice habit that I look out for on a two-weekly basis.

And I just... I was just overwhelmed by it in a way? I did so much in 2021/2022 that I am proud of. There were also fics I didn’t like as much, but where the two-weekly support was so great. And that’s just what I like about fandom, be it Glee or CO. Joining spaces like the Lima Bean or the CO Discord or the Second Breakfast club was great. Having platforms like those above and the Advent and COC and what not come up with great challenges is wonderful. I’m glad that both my current main fandoms at the moment (get rekt Check, Please!) (actually no, I do want to write more Zimbits) are so active, especially Glee since that show ended 7 slutty, slutty years ago.

This is also why I am so eager to jump in on every challenge, because I want to show my appreciation for the people who take the time to organise Klaine fic challenges, even though it has led to what we now call my girlboss situation and I did tell myself yesterday that I am probably not going to do the Second Wave of the Klaine 3-2-1 Reverse Bang because it is getting too much otherwise.

And maybe I will not be able to keep up. It’s a miracle I haven’t skipped a single post ever since that first Sunday tag (I count the “nothing to show ¯\_(ツ)_/¯” ones as a post) and maybe I will fall into a dip but even then people come and go with these challenges and it is nice to know there is always a potentional audience. I know from my experience that I have also been super stoked when someone posts a new SSS/WW after a break.

But yeah those are just some of my thoughts. TL;DR: I love fandom. And now, the weather, and by the weather I mean tags: @quizasvivamos @crissmastrees-and-candyklaines @coffeegleek @esperantoauthor @otherworldsivelivedin @caramelcoffeeaddict @sillyunicorn @bazzybelle @dragoneggos @raenestee @tectonicduck @nightimedreamersworld @urban-sith @thnxforknowingme @captain-aralias @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @takitalks @justgleekout @cerriddwenluna @wellbelesbian @tea-brigade @cutestkilla @ivelovedhimthroughworse @moodandmist @artsyunderstudy @whogaveyoupermission @bookish-bogwitch @confused-bi-queer @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @ionlydrinkhotwater @1908jmd @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @larkral

[trekkele]

Hello! I'm the Anon who asked about Bruce being self-aware.

When I said "Also, there's something of a difference between being self-aware about himself and when it comes to his kids." I meant that he says or does super hurtful stuff that he just doesn't seem to think was wrong or reflect upon when it went downhill or realising too late or sb had to spell it out for him.

Examples being:

him reading Dick's diary after taking him in as a ward to figure out what Dick wants instead of just asking, thus creating the Robin suit after Dick's designs (God, it was a Batman or Robin: year one comic book, I'm pretty sure but I don't rememer which),

saying "commendable" instead of just "I'm proud of you" to Damian (basically his "emotional constipation" as a whole, like being unable to understand or even recognize his kids feelings and then failing to say just the most normal praising/comforting/loving things.),

ignoring (or acting as if) when Damian apologizes for direspecting/ignoring previous orders and holds a cute speech about trying to listen now but Bruce just turns around like "Did you say something?",

not telling Dick that Jason is now Robin or that Jason died even though Bruce said he would call Dick (yeah, he was being petty or grief stricken, but still)

Tim's sixteenth birthday "present"

I hate to bring this up but the whole Batarang to the NeckTM situation in UTRH. His resurrected son confronts him and he fails to show a single emotion, instead immediately debating ethics and morals with him.

anything with Jason in future comics where Bruce beats him up and acts like Jason asked for it or that Bruce didn't have a choice but to do that.

bringing Jason back to Ethiopia to the warehouse where he died, so Bruce could maybe find a way to resurrect Damian after Heretic killed him (I think it was Heretic, but maybe it was sb else)

beating up any of his kids for any reason. The most he should do willingly is defend himself with defensive moves only or seeking distance. But not charging in like he wants a fight.

sending only Damian to save Alfred from Bane, which just allowed for Damian to be captured and then having to watch Bane snap Alfred's neck, and then Bruce says to Damian's face "If I had been there, I could have saved him." (Bruce prioritised his own grief over his son's grief and trauma and all that)

Bruce tells Cass she doesn't need a real life and sectret identity, that she only needs a costume and a private batcave and she'd be fine

Bruce instigates a fight where he and Cass get drugged and can communicate about their feelings through fist fighting.

Taking/ Trying to take Robin away from sb for their "own good". I don't mean benching, but full on "You're not Robin anymore, never again." but then folding a few issues later anyway. (It could be seen as very shitty parenting ig)

Like you said, Bruce gets written very inconsistently and I tried not to cherry pick too much of what I wanted to say, so I made this mess of a bulleted list. While a lot of these examples do come from his communication issues, I still wanted to include them anyway because it's taken too far with some writers (can't say "I love you" or hug his kids, although he doesn't have a problem with doing that with Clark or Diana) or he doesn't reflect on those moments or he repeats them over and over again.

I swear I love Bruce, I'm not a hater!!! He's actually my favorite character!!! 😭😭😭

(Making this list really hurt. Just so you know.)

Hey listen, im going to answer these by number* and then probably delete this ask in a few hours because. I hate all of these!! Maybe 3 are in character!! I dont want this terrible Bruce on my blog!!! But also i dont want you to think i asked for clarification and then ignored you so feel free to send another ask when you see this lol. Or if I have once again missed the point.

* because I misunderstood this ask again and also most of these gave me hives lmao and also also I think like 75% could be answered with "we needed someone to mean to [character] and Bruce is convenient el oh el"

Anyways:

1. This one is in character, a little bit, because as much as we understand kids needing privacy now, i can see the way Bruce was raised (Alfred would have absolutely read his diary, that feels very in character for him) and the way Dick was (sneaking out to find Zucco) leading to him panicking and monitoring him as much as possible. That doesnt make it right mind you. The thing is if Dick hacked the bat computer Bruce would probably be proud of him, so not entirely hypocritical.

2. Also possibly in character, because again, thats how Alfred probably spoke to him. Not great, and i think the current Batman and Robin run does a much better job with their relationship, but can be chalked up to bad writing tbh.

3. No this is shitty writing. Sorry it just is!

4. This could be its own post but in summary: decisions made to launch another chracters solo or in order to make a different character look good are ignored. They wanted a Nightwing solo and decided a good launching point would be a big fight between Dick and Bruce. No thanks.

There have also been panels where Dick talks about ignoring Bruce’s calls during that time period, so this could be chalked up to mutual miscommunication if you insist. And i prefer the pre crisis origin for Jaybin, for multiple reasons.

5. I haven’t read this, ive heard of it, and its weird. It feels like point 4, but for Tim. The writers wanted a villain for his birthday comic, Bruce is right there.

6. Nah, Jason fucked around and he found out. He wanted a Batman that kills criminals, he just forgot he was also, now, a murderer and a criminal. Im only half kidding here, but the problem with UTRH is that exactly. Also the fact that Jason spent like six months doing absolutely horrible shit in Gotham, and that like 15 minutes before this showdown Bludhaven was blown up, Bruce has no idea if Dick is alive, and Jason mocks him for possibly losing another son. Also Jason is the one demanding Bruce cross his very personal boundaries here, ethics and morals are a very necessary part of the conversation!!

7. Anything where Bruce beats someone near death or uses lethal force is technically out of character. Jason comics outside of DITF and UTRH do not do enough work to give his actions the context necessary for them to be in character. RHATO #25 Is shit writing.

8. It was heretic, on Talias orders, and that whole storyline is dumb. This does feel in character, because Bruce response to grief has historically been 1 become Batman 2 attempt to commit suicide by cop/criminal so points for that consistency? I really hate this plot tho. Stop killing Bruce's kids!! The man is unstable as it is!!!

9. Out of character. I know it gets used for some god awful reason but it is so out of character unless the writer is willing to give it some serious work to provide context, (or unserious; see; Zur-En-Arrh in Gotham War. It's dumb, but it provides plausible context for Bruce beating his kids ie: it isn't technically him). Barring mind control, rejected.

10. No!! What the fuck!!! Bruce is not sending one of his kids alone against Bane there is an entire comic where he drugs them so that doesn't happen stop that!!!!

As a side note when I read that the first time I understood it as "I should not have sent you in alone because it was a task too big for you, If I had been there to help we could have saved him", but I am an optimist with too much faith in DC.

11. Absolutely bonkers statement from "please let me fire you from robin so you can have a normal life" McGee. Chalking this one up to racism and misunderstanding Bruce's character and that stupid "Bruce Wayne is the mask Hur dur" thing.

12. Ok this one feels in character actually. Somehow. At least they're talking?

13. Also feels in character actually. This one is weird because you'll see those stupid "child soldier" arguments side by side with "how dare Bruce take away Robin!". Pick a side. It's either bad parenting to let Robin exist or it's bad parenting to not let Robin exist, it can't be both!

And since these are comic books, and you need to engage with the genre in good faith or you'll have a miserable time of it, Robin exists! And is allowed to exist! At the same time, as a mentor Bruce has to be able to bench Robin, that is also a function of the mentor/mentee relationship! Basically - Bruce should be able to bench an injured/at risk Robin, but the writing for those scenarios usually wants him as a villain.

Taking away Robin completely only happens to Dick tho, and since it's after he gets shot on the job I do think it's in character.

As for "I tried not to cherry pick" babe please do so!! It's comics!! It's not canon unless you want it to be, and if you want these truly terrible Bruce's to be canon all the power to you! I want to set them on fire tho. And snort WFA like it's cocaine until all this is a bad memory jfc DC screen your writers for daddy issues I am begging you.

[hobbit-in-kuroshitsuji]

Kuroshitcember 2022 Prompt Nr. 10

Prompt: Paperwork that Will asked for gets handed in late. What happens?

You can find all prompts here!

All of these will be uploaded/archived to this blog's Ao3 eventually

Summary: Ronald hands in a report too late for... a very good reason. CW: descriptions of a stabwound and blood.

“Sorry it’s late, sir.”

William had been presented with a file pushed almost literally into his face.

A report.

The report William had been waiting for his entire shift. At 6 o’clock William had given up and simply filed the report as missing, preparing a long lecture to Ronald Knox about the importance of working diligently. One late report meant making it difficult for plenty of other reapers, not just William, and not just Ronald himself. Souls needed to be collected, and management needed to know that souls were safe. Quickly. Or else, reapers could be sent out to find out why the souls weren’t safe, if the report didn’t already state this.

Honestly… It wasn’t that difficult.

It was eight in the evening when Ronald had knocked on William’s door. Coming to William’s home wasn’t a solution William wanted Ronald to make a regular thing regarding handing in reports.

“You could have left it on my desk.”

He nabbed the file from Ronald’s gloved fingers and scoffed.

But when the file no longer hid Ronald’s figure from view, William noted the red stain on the reaper’s uniform. Hunched over, Ronald tried to hide it from view, but was failing horribly as it grew larger with each second he stretched the wound by standing upright.

The file fell to the floor as William reached out to help the reaper stay up. Ronald faltered slightly on his feet, but offered a sheepish look. “Hah, sir… one would think you’d care…” He coughed, then painfully gasped in air when the cough only hurt.

“What happened, Knox?” There was just a hint of panic in William’s voice when he lifted Ronald’s arm over his shoulders and started guiding him down the hallways to the infirmary.

“I handed the report in late, didn’t I?”

“I cannot believe you wrote a report whilst bleeding out,” William scolded, turning another corner.

Ronald hissed at the movement. Each minute that passed made Ronald lean heavier against William. It was a clear sign that the reaper was getting weaker far too quickly for William’s liking.

“Ah, wouldn’t wanna- eugh… - disappoint you, sir,” Ronald teased.

Clenching his jaw, Will scoffed and said: “I would have understood.”

“Now I know…”

Despite the blood trail Ronald left, William paused their movements to send a look at Ronald. “I do not know what I have done to make you think you ought to prioritise writing a report over tending to your wounds.”

“We have to atone by working diligently,” Ron replied with a smirk to try and keep the mood up, despite his pale lips.

Reapers didn’t quite bleed out the same way humans did. But their vessels could still get hurt by certain weapons, and this… looked like such a weapon had been used on Ronald. Truly, William wanted to read that report just to figure out what had done this, send reapers out after it, and end it… but there was something more important to deal with first.

“You cannot work diligently if you are bleeding out.”

The smirk disappeared from Ron’s lips, muscles shaking as he tried to keep the smile up. “I didn’t want to disappoint you, sir…” left Ron’s lips.

Sometimes, William forgot how young Ronald had been when he’d ended his life. Sometimes, William forgot that half of Ronald’s issues had been attempting to be what his father wanted him to be. And that in his father’s stead, William had come to guide the boy. The affection Ronald never got from his own family was what he sought now from William…

And William wasn’t the greatest at that.

But he’d had siblings, and despite the lack of conscious memories from his past life, William knew what to do.

“You wrote a report whilst wounded,” William tried to speak with a gentle tone to his voice, failing horribly, “and you think you’re a reaper I would be disappointed in? I’m disappointed you’re making such a mess for maintenance to clean up, but nothing else.” He eyed the blood trail they were leaving behind.

There was no joke in William’s words, yet Ronald chuckled a bit.

Slowly, the two continued to walk.

“Thank you, sir,” Ronald whispered. “But I am pretty sure I misspelled ‘sacrilegious’ in my report.”

“I’ll make sure to correct it for you.”

__ taglist: @eemoo1o-animoo

[persephoneflouwers]

Hi Angie, i hope it is alright that im calling you Angie, this is C.

Sorry for not replying earlier, I hope you are doing good. I’m also sorry to see that you lost someone so important to you, hope you are feeling better now.

I kinda screenshotted your answer to get back to you at a more suitable time (I see that I have the best timing now that the circus is back in town like talk about that wasted time eh Harry, anyway..)

I’m sorry that the fandom evolved into a place where you (and me and I’m sure many others) are feeling bad for voicing opinions that are essentially the fundamentals of being a larrie. The way this has been happening is particularly disheartening when people accuse us of apparently not respecting their closet or blaming them for their closets, like that is some level of gaslighting and guilt tripping.

I guess the fandom became this way now because louder voices are more occupied with following the biggest popstar (their words definitely not mine) of recent years than two closeted musicians that they can see past all the bs H and his team pull to the point where them voicing all the praise and how this fuck-boy persona is a must to make it big are drowning out the reasonable judgments of many levelheaded fans that can still manage to be here.

It really makes me wonder how it would be now with H and L if the fandom could have been more open with our criticism towards their recent way of handling fame, business etc, like im not trying to attribute more importance than we deserve to us as a fandom in their lives or saying we know better than them but we experienced firsthand how they were attuned to the chatter of larry fandom, maybe some tough love is what they need to hear instead of all the coddling (especially H) they are oddly receiving mostly from this part of fandom.

Also, im not trying to sound insensitive but it feels like they are missing Jay-like figure in their lives who im firmly believing was the voice of reason for them (I dont wanna get into this too much out of respect for Jay)

I have so much respect for you (and other blogs like you) bc you guys refuse to give into pressure of following whats come to be “the truth” and still speak your truths, there is nothing off putting about that believe me, it is admirable.

Im sorry if this ask feels incoherent, if it is so, you are gonna understand why in my following ask which would be just for you.

Hello, C 🦋 it’s so comforting to read your messages every now and then. I hope life is treating you well.

I know I made myself a reputation of an hater, but I’m not. I’m just constantly pushing back whatever stupid move they make. I don’t care if it’s good for their business, it’s not worthy on a human level and I fear the day people will start prioritising job and money and commercial success.

I also understand ignoring whatever thing you don’t like is a way to cope and go through this and curate your experience, but still it won’t make it go away. It’s hard at times, especially here - I’m not particularly close to anyone here so it feels like my experience is just me speaking into the void, you know? - and in this isolation sometimes I feel like the evil character but I don’t think I am. I’m a fan like everyone else, except I am very opinionated and more often than not I don’t agree with what I see/read here and there.

But thank you for coming back. I will not post the other part II because I like that little secret between us 😌 you’ll find me here when you decide to share more of your thoughts of course <3

[streettealee]

Updates

So, there are several reasons I have not been updating lately despite the wealth of works I have left hanging:

The university semester started and somehow it is already the third week and assignments are cropping up. This is a law degree, and it is busy (when there aren't assignments, I'm doing A Lot of readings of cases and textbooks and working on weekly tasks for each class).

Other personal life issues, which I am hoping to have finally come to a pause in one way or another.

I have been prioritising not just my degree for once but also my own original works. I have a separate Tumblr account and blog for my original works and if you comment below, I will send you a link. It's currently not in heavy use, still a work-in-progress, same as my original book series, but support and interest would mean the world to me.

Now, this is not me saying I'm abandoning fanfic, because it's often been a good crutch for me, especially when I'm anxious about my novel (because this entire original series, obviously, needs to start with the first book before I get to the rest) and my skills in achieving a years' long dream. Plus, I really do adore TLH in particular. Lately, it hasn't been feeling the same though. I put a lot of effort into writing about someone else's work when I know I have my own world and characters I could be spending more time with and establishing.

Currently, the plan stands as such: I will finish the entire full draft of my novel by my birthday in January of 2024. That's the deadline. I have friends keeping me in line with this. And it does mean letting my fanfics sit aside for rainy days when I might need a break or to let off some steam, or even when I'm missing TLH, really. But they are not the focus and I want what readers there are here to be aware of that.

[mi5018tomberry]

Project Planning

During the briefing lecture we looked at the work of previous students in this module to give us a baseline of what can be expected for our final project. Of the examples shown, Steven's work impressed me the most. I had a look through his blog after the lecture to get a better understanding of how he achieved the final animation and the notes above are my takeaway from looking through his blog. He used rigged models that he created during his character design module for the final animation and some other sketches when testing things out. I noticed that reflections really sell the credibility of the final animation because they sell the fact that they are a part of the scene (of course you also need the colour corrections and drop shadows but the reflections are the cherry on top that really make things believable. Because of this I want to include reflections in my final animation because it would be a challenge that would test my capabilities and hopefully make something a little more interesting in the process. I also want to model and rig my own characters to put them in the scene however this is all dependant on whether or not I have the time to do so because the core of this module is compositing so I need to prioritise that over anything else and I also know that I want to continue learning how to animate in Maya to push the performance side of things and my own rig could limit this.

I'm still experimenting with ideas in my head for this project and whilst walking through town I saw the graffiti on the walls and thought bringing Graffiti to life in a real environment could be a fun way to incorporate 2D animation into this project. The slanted rooftops also looked like an interesting environment for characters to interact with with some sort of rooftop chase. I'm still playing around with ideas currently so I'm going to scribble out some notes to figure out whether I want to make a collection of shots that create a short little story or whether I want to simply experiment with as many different techniques as I can. I need to pick and choose the most appropriate shot types and environments that I want to incorporate with the animation into because if I combine too many complex things together then I will lose some of the quality in one of these areas.

Before I get started in the planning of the final animation, I wanted to take some time to reflect on the critique from the previous semester to take it onboard and change my approach this semester. The biggest critique I had was that I didn't make use of the crits and thus missed out on an opportunity to discuss and further develop my final project. I am focusing on the work earlier this semester to hit the ground running and ensure that I keep ahead of things and have the time to discuss and receive feedback early and to make the most of this module by attending all of these crits. An open conversation and discussion of my ideas and execution will make things better overall. I also need to focus on the nuance of the project, I tend to spin as many plates as possible which means that a few of them don't get the attention they deserve.

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A post shared by David Zinn (@davidzinn)

I've been making sure to photograph anything which sparks an idea for this project and I haven't yet decided whether I want to go for small or large scale compositing. I could focus on smaller landscapes and try to incorporate animated characters into a small space which I would be able to control and manipulate with less chance of people walking into shot. The artist above, David Zinn, is a street artist who creates little homes in crevices for 2D characters which is something that I could tap into in more detail by creating a 3D landscape in Maya in which I could place a small character with some props dotted around. I am probably going to try out a mixture of small and large so that get a better idea of the limitations of both types.

More location possibilities, grungy setting possibly for some skater characters interacting with the landscape.

[sleepingdeath-light]

weary head ; l lawliet (18+)

kinktober day seven ; hair pulling

pairing ; l lawliet x gender neutral!reader

reader pronouns ; they/them/theirs

word count ; 1248

note ; minors and ageless blogs will be blocked

“My dear, you look like death,” they offered gently, leaning their side against the doorway as they watched their dear boyfriend work himself to the brink of exhaustion once again, “one can’t solve a case if they become a victim of it - you do know that, right?”

“I also can’t rest until we capture Kira,” he responded in turn, his voice, as it so often was, being monotone and is tone clinical - as though what he was saying was infallable, “it’s my job. I will not let him kill again; I can rest after I’m done.”

“Him?” A gentle yet intrigued prodding escaped them as they slowly made their way towards him and wrapped their arms around his shoulders. “You’ve narrowed it down to a demographic? You only got assigned to the case two days ago, love.”

“I’ve settled on an individual culprit, actually,” he teased warmly, turning his head to address them with a proud glint in his eye, “Yagami Light; a high school student and the son of a policeman - they’ll set up cameras for observation tomorrow when the house is empty.”

“That’s incredible!”

“That’s my job.”

They huffed at that and leaned down to press a chaste kiss against his lips before he quickly broke away to return his gaze to the computer screen in front of him. Being with the world’s greatest and most dedicated detective frequently posed unique challenges for their relationship, with his hyper focusing on ongoing cases being one such example.

Of course they admired his work ethic and his dedication to bringing these people to justice, and they knew who he was and what he was like when they got together, but they couldn’t help but miss him and desire more of his attention than he was often able to spare. Most days they hardly had the opportunity to give him a hug or kiss in the mornings before he hurried off back to his laptop - only having been pried away overnight due to their insistence on him maintaining some degree of good health during his investigations.

Though they swallowed this displeasure and revelled in their current intimate position, resting their chin on the back of his chair and starting to gently and slowly play with the messy mop of dark hair that covered his head. Gentle as ever, and watching for any signs of discomfort, they ran their fingers through his locks - lovingly untangling any knots that had formed due to his lack of self care in recent days and twirling the softer strands between their fingertips.

Bit by bit, moment by moment, they could feel and see him relaxing beneath their unrelenting touch: shoulders relaxing, eyes fluttering closed every few moments, low moans and sighs escaping his lips and his head leaning into them beyond his awareness. And the moment they noticed this, they moved on to massaging his scalp, scratching it with their fingernails and doing anything they could to prolong the pleasant feeling on his end.

He did deserve it, after all. He deserved this and so, so much more.

————

“Feel good, dearest?” They crooned lowly, smiling to themselves when he hummed quietly in response, leaning down to gently kiss his jaw as they continued to play with his hair. “Good; you needed this, it seems.”

Every so often they’d lightly tug at a couple of locks of dark hair, twisting them between their fingers and tugging shortly from the scalp. And every time they did so, a barely-audible moan would escape his lips and it would send another wave of arousal straight to their core - which they ignored for the time being, opting instead to prioritise their lover as a reward for his devotion.

Tug. Twist. Stroke. Card.

Tug. Twist. Stroke. Card.

Settling into a pattern was easy and relaxing even for them, a soothing and repetitive routine that allowed their mind to wander as they admired their dear boyfriend in his vulnerable state: his face was the picture of vulnerability, with closed eyes and parted lips that allowed pleased sighs and the occasional groan slip through; his head was leaned back against the seat, giving them complete freedom to do whatever they wished in that moment (including admiring his sharp features as they worked); his arms and legs hung limp about himself, with him having long since slipped out of his typical position and taken on something much limper and less slouched in order to better accommodate them.

Ever considerate with them, even when they were just trying to do something nice for him. What a gentleman.

Though after a good few minutes of this relentless massaging of his scalp, their own arousal was becoming damn-near unbearable, even interfering with their focus as they kept having to rub their thighs together and adjust themselves to minimise the friction against their sex. So, in order to continue L’s reward whilst still dealing with themselves, they decided to take advantage of what they’d recently found out about him - tempted by the ease of the act and the sureness that they’d get exactly what they wanted.

All it would take is one swift, angled tug against the hair on the back of his neck; one careful, calculated movement. It would only take a second at most, and who could complain about that?

Not them, certainly.

So with a smirk on their face, they gently reached behind him and pulled that sensitive bit of hair - forcing his back to arch upwards as he let out a moan loud and lewd enough that it startled them both.

————

The first few moments after they'd given in to their urges was filled with an awkward, somewhat flustered, silence with tension thick enough that a heated knife would surely be able to slice through it - the air almost palpable in a way that froze them to their place with anticipation. And then he acted, spinning around in his chair and catching them off guard as he pulled them down onto his lap and took a harsh grasp of their hair - using it to force them to meet his eye.

"What do you think you're doing?"

They smiled sheepishly at him, squirming a bit in his lap as they tried to find a more stable position before swallowing thickly and responding in a meeker voice than they'd have liked. "I - uh - I was just trying to help you relax, you've been working so hard lately and -"

"and that's for good reason," he interrupted calmly, tightening his grip in something like a warning before continuing, "and I can't seem to understand how arousing me is going to relax me. In fact, it has the direct opposite effect because it makes me agitated."

"I was going to help you with it, dear,"

"But you started it to help yourself," he retorted swiftly, forcing one knee between their thighs and rubbing it against their sex - clinically nodding and observing the way they responded to that brief contact, "I'd argue that makes your actions more selfish than selfless, wouldn't you?"

Then, he hummed and adjusted his grip on their hair, tugging sharply once, then twice before he forced them closer to him - close enough that his lips were pressed against the shell of their ear as he spoke in a low tone, almost challenging them in a way (and coaxing an eager whimper from their lips despite their compromising position).

"Well that doesn't matter now. You have my attention; so you'd better make the most of it."

[thegirlintheredchair]

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Look who has emerged from the depths of her own mind to write a blog post. I haven’t written in ages. I had planned on writing “Letters to Allah” (a sort of summary of the month and what I learned) in my journal after each month but I sadly didn’t keep up. 😕

It is birthday month! (No, today is not my birthday). I’ve never liked birthdays and I’ve never celebrated them (apart from treating myself to good food, donating or planting a tree) but if anything, I use birthdays as a measure for my spiritual, mental and worldly growth.

I feel like I’ve aged 50 years since the beginning of this year and I am definitely not the same person at all. I feel like two different people tbh. (I would like to think I’ve progressed mentally and spiritually. Lol).

It has been a tumultuous year so I’m highlighting 31 lessons I’ve learned this year before turning 31. Some are constant lessons and some are new ones.. I hope this benefits you too.

Prioritise Allah over everything, especially over your desires and whims…this life is for His obedience and to gain His pleasure. In other words, the deen of Allah requires sacrifice. We are already sold… Allah has already promised us heaven granted we place Him over everything else. Yani there is nothing more beneficial to a person than seeking and possessing the pleasure of Allah. If He is pleased, He will give you contentment in all your affairs, in this life and the hereafter. Guaranteed! In short, Don’t lose sight of the akhira. Nothing in this world is promised. The reality is that there is only one reality!

Take time out to send salutations on our beloved Prophet (ﷺ) and you will be amazed by the change you’ll see in your life. I am currently not in the habit of doing this daily but I’ve experienced its benefits. My aim is usually to send salutations at least 500 times daily and countless times on a Friday. The shortest darood shareef is simply his name. I also like this one: "صلى الله علی سیدنا محمد و آله و سلم"

Lots of people need to hear this: Please take your Salah seriously! What even are you if you can’t say your five daily prayers?? It is the bare minimum. They make up less than 50 minutes of your day! You are depriving yourself of not being able to enjoy the comfort of talking to Allah. Also like how dare you abandon the one who provides for you continuously and unconditionally?? How do you intend to have a productive day when you don’t start it with Fajr? How do you intend to sleep peacefully if you don’t end your day with Isha?

DON’T.STOP.MAKING.DUA!! It took me a long time to idk internalize this? Lol. Yani I went through periods of asking for something diligently and then not asking for it at all. Because you know your hope wavers. And that’s okay but don’t stop making dua. It’s like that quote, (I forget who it’s by; I think it’s by Umar (RA)) “if He has inspired you to make dua, know that He wants to grant you what you’re asking.” Besides Allah never says no to our duas. He only has three response: “There is no Muslim who calls upon Allah, but that Allah will give him one of three answers: He will quickly fulfil his supplication, He will store it for him in the Hereafter, or He will divert an evil from him similar to it.” (Musnad Aḥmad 11133). Pair your dua with tahajjud and watch miracles unfold!! ✨️ ("The dua made at tahajjud is like an arrow which does not miss its target. - Imam Ash-Shafi’")

Learn the etiquettes of making Dua (I might do a separate post on this) but for real don’t just start with what you want. I’ve been looking into this lately and this is what I’ve learned so far (briefly): Start by Praising Him. Call Him by His Greatest names. (Al-Rahman, Al-Raheem, Al Ahad etc).Thank Him for the countless blessings he bestows on you. Every.Single.Day. Then pour your heart out!!!! And ask. Please ask unapologetically and shamelesslesly? He is the Lord of Impossible. The Lord of Miracles. Who else even is there in your corner?? End the dua with salutations on the Prophet (ﷺ). “Du’aa’ is suspended between heaven and earth and none of it is taken up until you send blessings upon your Prophet (ﷺ)” - ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab [al-Tirmidhi (486). That being said, you can make Dua at literally any time.

Sit with the righteous. This is sooooo important. You need these circles that talk about Allah. The Sunnah of our beloved Prophet (ﷺ). The Noble Quran. These are your anchors for sanity in this world tbh. (Yes the internet lectures are good but if you have actual physical circles with real tangible people thats even better) These circles lift your imaan (much needed in todays world), keep you sane in the face of adversity; I honestly wouldn’t know how to solve or navigate my problems, if it weren’t for Islam. I am where I am today because of His religion. Its like that quote by Umar (RA) [can you tell he’s one of my favorite companions 🙃] “We were the most humiliated people on earth and God gave us honor through Islam. If we ever seek honor through anything else, God will humiliate us again.”

An attitude of Gratitude. This year has been a huge lesson in this. It made me be thankful to Him in every situation. Gratitude brings abundance, it unlocks the fullness of life. It’s the little pleasures in live (that we take for granted) a roof over our head, hot meals, the presence of parents and siblings that care and love you. A family that practices the Deen and has the same mind-set. Sunsets, the moon. Friends like family, your health, an unblocked nose. Our own existence as Muslims! (We’re from amongst the guided, imagine if we weren’t?) Just there’s far more to be thankful for than to dwell on that one problem(s) you’re facing. Gratitude needs to be our default position. This year I made a concise effort to become a person of Shukr and it has kept me anchored and has brought me back from moments where I was about to give up hope. 🥹🫶🏻

#PocketsofPeace. Sit with the Noble Quran, ponder over its meaning. Pick a surah for a year or go through random ayats. No amount of time with it will ever be enough. The Honorable Quran is like the ocean, the deeper you dive into its meaning, the more you’ll discover. Also this will build your faith. We live in end times and our resolute faith is the only thing that can save us!!! Faith is the only thing that has survived the test of time. It pivots you back to the one thing that will always remain constant in your life no matter how much the world modernizes; Allah.

Qadr Allah; Tawakkul. Every year I say I’ve internalized it and every year I struggle with it. I will say that this year this has strengthened in comparison to last year. Qadr is the sixth pillar of faith (not believing in it can take you outside of the fold of Islam). The thing with Qadr is that it is only appreciated in hindsight, or viewed in the past tense. Your way forward to navigate Qadr is through your Tawakkal in your Lord and your duas. The Prophet (ﷺ) said (on his son Ibrahims death): “The eyes are shedding tears, and the heart is grieved, and we will not say expect what pleases our Lord” (Sahih Bukhari 1303)

There is always khair in delay. “What is meant for you will reach you even if it is between two mountains. And what isn’t meant for you will not reach you even if it is between your lips” –Imam Ghazali

“But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not” (2:216)

Define your boundaries! especially if you're an empath. Whether it’s at home, work, university, or even friendships. You are your biggest advocate! I have to say this though that learning and knowing more about my religion has helped me become firm on setting them and not budging from them or feeling guilty about them or thinking that people will think I'm weird. Define your boundaries from the beginning so no one gets to take advantage of your empathetic nature. You can be empathetic and still say no.

The other end of the spectrum is just as shitty (excuse my French). This one is a lesson solely for me. I wish to explain this one no further.

Log out of social media once in a while! It is refreshing. There’s less noise because you are only exposed to the lives and opinions of those immediately around you (as God intended. Lol). This might not be a hot take, but we aren’t meant to hear every thought, see each other’s lives or know about people’s emotions who we will probably never see face to face.

In the same vein, be mindful of media you consume. When I took a break and came back, it just made me realize how much none of it matters??? Likewise being always on SM we are constantly receiving information. Like Too Much Information. I don’t think were supposed to crowd our brains like that. Take at least 24 hours off of social media every week. You’ll thank me later.

Peace of mind over everything. Im a big advocate for this! “When a thing disturbs the peace of your heart, give it up.” -Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ).” [al-Zuhd wal-Raqā’iq 1147]

You are on your own, you can’t rely on people to do what’s important to you. If it’s important to you, you’ll have to do it yourself. No one is going to step up. You need to show up for yourself!

Keep Husn Adh Dhan (thinking good of other people). Boy do I struggle with this one! People can be bone deep kind, loving and self-reflective but can still be selfish in certain situations. People can be well meaning, generous, sociable and easy going and still hold deep seated opinions that turn them into vicious little bullies. Every person is a kladeiscope and they will surprise you. (I don’t think you can ever fully know another person) You will surprise yourself too. It’s not a warning and it's not a judgement and it's not an excuse either. It’s also not a reason to stop trying or to stop trusting. (Even though I’m still struggling) it is just a fact! I understand the concept of Husn Adh Dhan, and I’d like to think this year I’ve internalized this a little? But I have a long way to go.. May Allah help make it easy to distinguish who is gold and who is gold plated.

Privacy is power!! A quiet life is so underrated! SM and capitalism and culture has put such a significant emphasis on the definition of success as fame, being known, having an accolade of worldly accomplishments and excessive wealth. There is so much power in anonymity. Your life does not have to be a grand spectacle for others to have a worth. You don’t need that kind of validation bro! Plus it saves you from so much Ayn!

Trust your gut. Vibes and energy don’t lie. If something is off about a situation or a person. It means it is off. Intuition is God’s gift! And women have it down to a science.

Cut music out of your daily life. I swear to you, you could be doing much better stuff with your time than numbing your brain with beats. Also I feel it opens the path for you to commit other sins and just look at sinning in a different light? Do I make sense? Lol. Replace that with nasheeds or Qur’anic recitation. You’ll end up memorizing a few ayats too (or a whole surah). It’s a win!

Not everything needs a reaction. Learn to walk away. Spent your energy and your time wisely.

Make Dhikr a part of your daily routine. Your heart is your most hardworking muscle but it needs to rest too! (please, Im trying to be poetic) "Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest." (13:28)

A Litmus test for choosing a spouse: the single most important decision you'll ever make as a woman is choosing the father of your children, everything else is secondary to that. If he is God-fearing and God-loving, you have a winner!

Learn the difference between people who are good in general and people who are good for you. Not everyone will understand you or has the same heart as you and that’s okay. Move on don’t keep waiting for the same effort. Some people are just meant to be acquaintances.

Pray for your parents. They put on a tough act for us. Pray for their emotional and mental well-being and that they get to see you successful in both worlds.

Respect and understanding over love. If some one claims to love you and doesn't respect you, they don't actually love you.

Reflecting on your own destructive habits and working towards fixing them is self-care. You have to work towards change; quitting that sin you keep going back to, looking at what needs to go or what needs to be added for your life to move forward. People usually assume self-care is about indulgence (self-worship) or doing whatever you want (selfish). I think it’s more about doing things that are healthy for you.

Cut out people who think you’re arguing or personally attacking them every time you try and solve an issue or express your emotions. It is draining and mentally exhausts you. If someone cannot tolerate you making an effort in communication (read ask clarifying questions) and sharing what you feel, distance yourself from them. No one is a mind reader!

Communication without comprehension is a waste. You could be sharing your most darkest, scariest vulnerabilities with a person and not be reciprocated even with words. I suffer from incomprehension sometimes (read come off as cold). I pray Allah makes me better at easing someone's suffering in whatever capacity I'm capable of.

Be quick to apologize when you know you've hurt someone. Trust me it will take nothing away from you. Even if it was unintentional, it’s so easy to just apologize and move on. I personally think it helps maintain the trust in any relationship.

If you’ve read till the end, congratulations to you!🤝🏻

Theres been a lot more changes, lots of things i started doing differently that have helped me grow as a person. I like the current me, i feel like i can handle certain situations better than i wouldve last year. Its the small victories that count ✌🏻

Hope you related and benefited from some of these lessons/experiences. May Allah be pleased with us and give us a beautiful end to our lives here. Ameen. ✨️

Love, Phi 🕊