#I have been mad busy this week
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intotheelliwoods · 10 months ago
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Poptart to Poptart to Poptart to Poptart communication.
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heartorbit · 2 days ago
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happy halloween! 🎃🐈‍⬛👻🐇
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faaun · 3 months ago
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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callsthefaithful · 5 months ago
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wip. every time i hide the hair layer i forget i thot it would be funny to draw him bald underneath. he's like gollum 2 me like this.
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afniel · 6 months ago
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Maaaaaaaaaaaan, come on.
(the post has ended up in the tags btw. I am not changing this and I need you to understand that it is just me talking to myself semi-publicly)
#Nevi Writes#things said by a guy writing a thing he doesn't even intend to be writing and it's like 10k of words now. >:[#while that's true I do want to emphasize that nobody should get excited about it right now tho okay#because like it's just. idk. I feel very much like it could end up not worth pursuing anyway. it's just a little baby wip.#(when the fuck did my little baby wips get to be 1/4-1/2 the length of my previous 'finished' stories!! what the hell)#it just feels nice to make words tho. and it does have that kind of 'ah good to catch up with these guys again' vibe which is nice.#even if the break has once again been like. on the order of days to a week maybe. I'm so bad at this taking a break business suddenly. lel.#but I don't have anything much to say about it at this point#other than I'm debating inventing a reason that presidential elections would have been moved by a couple of years between now and 2212#what is it with me and having to be so damn precise with dates in this whole narrative. am I just mad that Capcom never tries?#(yes) (so mad)#(and 2212 would actually be an election year is the problem. I want time to have passed but I also want there to be a pres. election.)#(it's fine don't worry about it)#(this is how I decided that Blucifer got bload up and then replaced also. weird reliance on mashing up IRL things and fictional explosions)#(but it's fun isn't it? got that veneer of verisimilitude. I'm good at long words)#idk this is inevitable isn't it. but I'm going to keep playing like it's not. I think I need a little more space for this one mentally.#the first one just sort of fell out of my head fully assembled and the second one did that also but with different vibes#though it did actually take some cutting things and adjusting things to make it work which Failure to Compile did not#Failure to Compile was bizarrely effortless until the mad editing dash. Outcome Unpredictable was WORK#fun work at least! but in hindsight it was definitely more work to make it flow properly.#the real job for the 3th if it happens is gonna be wrapping up threads without dropping new ones in bc that's such a habit of mine now
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starsiide · 1 month ago
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if an artist says their turnaround time is usually a week and that they should be done with your specific commission by the end of the week, then goes nearly three weeks without saying something, is it OK to ask them for an update on your commission? I'm a bit torn on whether I should wait a whole month
#as someone who takes comms myself if i were me i would have sent an update after being unable to finish it within my turnaround time#just to be like hey heres what ive got so far sorry that this isnt the turnaround time i said it would be in my comms listing#but also im NOT them so 🤷 idk. literally anything could have happened and maybe they cant even use their phone right now#i dont wanna send them an email (even the very politely worded one ive been drafting) bc i dont want to be rude like at all#but also this person didnt get back to me for over a month when i first reached out to commission them so#im starting to see that for the red flag it was#and not like. a sign that they just have so many commissions to do. because it doesnt take long to send an email that says#'sorry im a bit too busy with other comms right now to take yours/work on yours'#i wouldnt have been mad. i would have either waited to comm them or taken my business elsewhere#i also wanna be clear i dont mind long turnarund times ive waited literal months for a comm with no complaints#its just the fact that they promised to finished it (completely unprompted) and then havent... said ANYTHING for WEEKS that seems sus to me#its crossed my mind i may have been scammed since they havent shown me anything more than a sketch#edit: part of the im really regretting comming them is because ive already waited a month to even like finish the TAKING my comm process#since they randomly didnt email me back for weeks right as we were finalizing the details#like i waited a LONG time to even be like 'are you still taking my comm?' bc in my head i was like#'they must have other comms that they havent mentioned (totally valid btw) if i wait the queue will be clear'#and then... yea idk i just dont think that was the case if their turnaround time is actually a week#which is a really short turnaround time anyway imo theyre making it too hard on themself#(funnily enough i have the same turnaround time which is why i know it can be challenging to do it in a week but its also completely doable)#anyway back to the fact i probably got scammed. their 'sketch' though i didnt wamna say it looked VERY much like#they just traced my concept sketch#which 😰
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dangerousfandangleton · 6 months ago
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Shoutout lesbians! My hands are tired so no colours this time sorry :/
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cuntwrap--supreme · 1 year ago
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My mom: *telling me how she's only done what's best for her kids*
Me: *reminds her of a time when she absolutely did the worst for us because it benefitted her more than not doing it would have*
My mom: You have such a creative memory! Wow! You're gaslighting me! This is abuse!
#parental abuse#abuse#bad parenting#bad parent#trauma#childhood trauma#literally this started because she refuses to remember that she sold my water bed for crack money#like. that was the only bed I've ever had that didn't make my back hurt while i slept.#and she sold it. for crack.#and she's all bullshit that never happened!#and so i ask her about like two other shitty things she did and never apologized for#and she pulls out her new favorite word - gaslighting - which she learned from some dumbfuck tv show she's been watching#but when i ask her if she even knows what that means she goes see that's gaslighting!#like. no. gaslighting is telling me things i (and my siblings!!) have a vivid memory of never happened.#trying to act like i have no business being mad at her is#acting as if I'm being dramatic. that my childhood was normal. that not having food or power and living in a crack hoise is average.#i cannot wait to get out of here in december. only 18 long weeks to go!#if i ever have to live with her again I'll kill myself. these two years have been worse for my mental health than anything ever.#I'm a whole ass adult yet I'm not allowed to so much as leave the house without her demanding to know where I'm going.#i have to lie to her if I'm going to see my bald dude (rare. but if it happens) or else she gets pissed at me for seeing people???#but if i say I'm visiting friends (not entirely a lie) she'll accuse me of going and doing gay shit?#because apparently being queer is the worst thing your kid can be in her mind#that i haven't kicked the shit out of her has to be some sort of testament to my patience as a person right?
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basssiliskk · 9 months ago
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I'm so tired of school ever since my PoTS became debilitating and I started using a cane and had to make my teachers & school nurse aware of my condition like half of my teachers talk to me like a wounded animal and it makes me sick to my stomach
please don't talk to disabled people like they're fragile or in their final days all the time. i know personally it makes me really uncomfortable bc i'm just a legal adult trying to get through the day like everyone else i don't need baby talked or looked at with sympathy. i know.
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partynthem · 1 year ago
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i can't believe red rocks is over. what am i supposed to do w myself now
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kate-bishops-waifu · 7 months ago
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Guess who didn't do things she said she would.
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gorbo-longstocking · 9 months ago
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sorry to keep posting about my job but [farnsworth voice] great news everyone! im working significantly less hours next week (or according to the schedule i looked at five seconds ago its not up in the app yet) so ill be back on the writing grindset. my preferred grindset.
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darkhopping · 1 year ago
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good fucking god i hatd being immigrant student
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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...
#hmm its been an interesting week i suppose#very busy in a good way. but that is always how it starts. i make myself so busy and it feels good and then i wobble and fall out of my body#so im feeling wary. also bc ive been under sleeping more than ususal but im not really tired but im also not boiling out of my skin with#energy. i just feel ok. so thats good. but also a demon in the back of my head is always like: then stay up all night. lets see how far we#can push this. which is not good. and in fact ive been proscribed like basically emergency mood stablizers to knock me out if i start like#losing my mind and not sleeping lol. bc i dont wanna b getting ready for something big and like completely unavailable to control my#ability to think. and ive also been proscribed birth control to get a handke on my fucked up hormones. so we'll see if that makes things#less all over the place. hopefully it works bc im so busy i kinda dont have time to like freak thr fuck out#but i am a lil apprehensive bc like i can count on my hormones to make me feel things when a lot of the time i dont have much emotional#range. so its like fuck finally i can cry abt this. or like fuck this is so beautiful. but then i also cant function sometimes#so i guess i just gotta see what happens. sigh. also the typical frustrating in having to read so much. like ppl hear im dyslexic and r like#oh do u want accommodation? like literally wtf r u gonna do to help me as a grad student? it just takes an agonizing amount of time to#understand thing. i have my computer read to me and i suffer. theres literally nothing else to b done abt it. and fucking next week i have#to teach a fucking lab abt reading scientific papers. they have to read a paper in class. fuck off. those r the types of exercises that make#me feel so fucking stupid. like do this thing right now. read it right here and answer questions abt it. and i fucking read it and retain#fucking nothing. im fucking 26 and literally in my grant writing class i have to apologize to every person before i give them feedback like#lol sorry i can barely fucking read. i fucking cant understand language. its fine but it sucks. theres nothing to do abt it. it just makes#me mad i have to teach a class that would have made me cry as an undergrad. so ill prob hold their hands thru it more than the other TAs#will. bc fuck u im not making them read a whole fucking paper in class. fuck u#plus the frustration of not being able to express myself well in thr moments. like theres a delay in my brain so i feel so dumb when im#trying to convey myself off the top of my head. like give me time and ill write it all out for u i just cant actually process wtf ur saying#to me. also i probably spaced out for a sec so i missed part of the convo lol. frustrating but at this point its just how it is. it makes me#more empathetic when i have to teach i guess. like listen ive got all kinds of fucking learning probs i just wanna help u learn something#how can i help? fucking dyslexia. god. i dont wanna prep for class this weekend. ive gotta show up like yea i kno reading papers is hard at#first but it gets easier! fuck u. its worth the suffering if i enjoy to topic but its always suffering. but thats what i get for going into#academia. thr dr who proscribed me stuff was like well sounds like u have a stress trigger and ur a phd student where life is stress... u#gotta figure out whats gonna work for u. sometimes thats a career change. not in like a pushy way just like: if what u do makes u suffer#then wtf r u doing? and hes got a point. but in contrast to what i was doing this is a massive improvement#well see if its manageable. ugh. i just wanna draw#unrelated
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someotherdog · 1 year ago
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okay i've stretched my bedtime to the absolute limit and i've got to go to bed. i still have a good handful of drafts to do, so if you're waiting for a reply from me it is in there i promise!! i'm gonna try to sneak on tomorrow after work but if not, i will be back next sunday. i still have a lot of packing to do and honestly i'm just not ready to say goodbye to my brother, plus i'm getting my tires rotated tomorrow and i need an oil change before we leave so i'm a busy gal! i'll be around in the dms and dis/cord sporadically tho if anyone wants to plot or chat :) take a look at my starters maybe perhaps
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elegyofthemoon · 1 year ago
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In the cool, plush core of the moon sleeps a mouse as we speak, dreaming of a world lush and green, then golden and undulating, then chopping and churning, a world of many surfaces with skies of many moods.
When it awakes, it will poke its tiny head out of a crater and bask in your glow as it does every morning. Here, all is still and silent. On that sparkling planet in the deep black distance, the sun seems capricious. But the mouse lives in the abyss of the body and therefore with a unique perspective on its essence. The mouse sees what other life does not see.
One needn't worry about unbecoming for the sake of containing a sun. Clouds may blanket the atmosphere of a planet, but still there burns a sun. The spots on the sun's surface may grow and shrink and shift, but still there it burns. And if one decides to cool it down like a waning flame or expand it in a cataclysmic supernova, still there it burns, and one has the right to revoke the state of their existence and become new.
Because perhaps the truth is you are not the sun--not alone--but it is rather a part of you. Your body is the solar system, each planet a world within the body, and each knows this glow in different ways. Some are nurtured by its warmth, others by its distance. Regardless of the sun's changes, they stay the course encircling it.
The universe cannot be held back, harnessed, fully comprehended. It pulls at the seams of solar systems as it pulls on its own seams. In that unstoppable shifting, we stumble. Sometimes it feels like our love and light slips from our fingers, shattering irrevocably in our falls. But what makes us cannot be seperated from us, even in times where our essence is obscured.
There is always another life to appreciate your life, no matter what happens. And in the least, there is always a little mouse in you that understands you in telescopic clarity and offers forgiveness for every change--no matter what, right into the end of time.
#answered#this was sitting in my inbox for a little while#and i wanted to answer properly but i fear that responding back is a little...hard#not that i dont want to its more like this was so prettily written and just so beautiful i fear if i responded id just ruin it lol#so im responding in the tags bc i feel better about doing that#i appreciate whoever decided to write all this up and leave it here for me it means a lot#more vent in the tag#not really vent but ig just reflective i suppose with the last week:#i think i may have actually talked about it before but you have no idea how happy i am with just. the people im surrounded with these days#because even if im going through something ill always push my feelings down in order to make someone else happy#because idc what happens to me overall. if i can make someone else happy thats all that matters#but ik a lot of people take advantage of it so when something bad happens when im unable to help someone they used to get mad at me for it#so more reasons to kinda push my feelings aside to cater to them etc etc etc#but i think the past week has been nice too in realizing that the people around me are patient and just overall kind -- not really expectin#much of me#ig theres this understanding that we all have busy lives now and maybe thats just the gift of maturity as a whole#even if im not the super positive or comforting presence people put me as at least people still care and thats how i know im loved at least#ig in a way this ramble is just a very big thank you to everyone for that#theres a lot of kindness and warmth in this ask that i appreciate and only want to spin back to friends. i hope they can feel it#or that it reaches them#anons#kind messages
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