#like. no. gaslighting is telling me things i (and my siblings!!) have a vivid memory of never happened.
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My mom: *telling me how she's only done what's best for her kids*
Me: *reminds her of a time when she absolutely did the worst for us because it benefitted her more than not doing it would have*
My mom: You have such a creative memory! Wow! You're gaslighting me! This is abuse!
#parental abuse#abuse#bad parenting#bad parent#trauma#childhood trauma#literally this started because she refuses to remember that she sold my water bed for crack money#like. that was the only bed I've ever had that didn't make my back hurt while i slept.#and she sold it. for crack.#and she's all bullshit that never happened!#and so i ask her about like two other shitty things she did and never apologized for#and she pulls out her new favorite word - gaslighting - which she learned from some dumbfuck tv show she's been watching#but when i ask her if she even knows what that means she goes see that's gaslighting!#like. no. gaslighting is telling me things i (and my siblings!!) have a vivid memory of never happened.#trying to act like i have no business being mad at her is#acting as if I'm being dramatic. that my childhood was normal. that not having food or power and living in a crack hoise is average.#i cannot wait to get out of here in december. only 18 long weeks to go!#if i ever have to live with her again I'll kill myself. these two years have been worse for my mental health than anything ever.#I'm a whole ass adult yet I'm not allowed to so much as leave the house without her demanding to know where I'm going.#i have to lie to her if I'm going to see my bald dude (rare. but if it happens) or else she gets pissed at me for seeing people???#but if i say I'm visiting friends (not entirely a lie) she'll accuse me of going and doing gay shit?#because apparently being queer is the worst thing your kid can be in her mind#that i haven't kicked the shit out of her has to be some sort of testament to my patience as a person right?
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