#I have an iPhone so sorry if anyone has other basic colors

[wish-i-had-robin-wings]

This is specifically the basic heart emoji, not including the other heart emoji variations (like gift-wrapped or fire).

[wsgeon]

hey everyone! ummm this is peyton (also the mun of lee hyeon) taking a second shot at a second character — i have a lot of muse for this one, so i swear he’ll be around for a while… 🥵 this is ryu geon, yes his name rhymes with hyeon’s & no i do not care ♥️ he’s the lead guitarist/vocalist of meta and also the son of a former nobody rockstar, but i’ll get into all that below! like this post if you’d like for me to come into your ims to plot, click the read more for more info on geon, and/or click here to be taken to his pages: CAREER, DOSSIER, PINTEREST.

HISTORY.

born in autumn ‘97 to a “budding rockstar” (translation: “no yeah i swear our band’s really starting to take off, we sold twenty-three tickets to our last show!”) & a woman with commitment issues ♥️ geon’s dad always told him that his mom left because she had some dire matters that needed to be taken care of and SWORE that she cried the last time she held her dear baby boy, but all of his dad’s bandmates say that she was just some groupie and had to be persuaded into carrying her child to term… who can say for sure?

naturally, there are no pictures of this mystery woman. there was one (1) of her holding infant geon, but then he found out that that was actually a sound tech who worked for his dad’s band… and he just never corrected geon’s assumptions LOLLLL

anyway! he was always really close to his dad, considering they were a two-person family. he has a set of grandparents, an aunt and a couple cousins but they were never involved with geon’s life because his dad is the #blacksheep of the family. geon and his dad against the world, am i right?

uhhh geon was also kind of a black sheep growing up, but he didn’t really notice? he was a happy kid, very energetic and enthusiastic. a lot of adults in the area looked down on him & his dad, but he was SOOOO blind to it because his dad’s a god in his eyes and HE’S always been nice to everyone, so why would they not like him??? because his clothes smelled a little like dad’s cigarette smoke??? big deal

wasn’t troublesome (beyond talking too much), but a lot of people still expected bad things from him :/ “his father’s a dirtbag, i’ll be surprised if that boy doesn’t end up in jail by 20”, “he won’t amount to anything without a proper role model in his life”, “his dad is teaching him how to slack off”, “he won’t contribute anything to society”, etc. he kindaaa picked up on this as he got older but pretended not to because it was more rewarding to play dumb and keep being a good kid(tm) to prove them wrong

was basically a mini version of his dad. same style, similar features, birthmarks in the same places, same “live today, die tomorrow” approach in life, same affinity for singing & playing rock music. ummm he loved his dad a lot. a lot. a lot. wanted to make him proud SO BAD, started his first band when he was 15 and they sucked so bad but his dad was their biggest fan… you know how it is. a lot of people misunderstood him, but he was a very good guy and such a great parent

TW DEATH unfortunately he passed away just shy of geon’s 18th birthday and your boy still hasn’t forgiven the world for taking his dad when he was in the middle of his angsty teen phase — had he known that their time together was dwindling, he would’ve been so so so much better to him END TW

his dad’s band actually rocketed into the charts after he passed & suddenly they were getting loads of publicity, lots of “what a shame that he went under-appreciated” which pissed geon off SOOOO bad because why couldn’t they have had that energy when he was still alive? he’s still mad about it five/six years later

this is getting kinda long, so uhhh tl;dr, he ended up staying with the drummer of his dad’s band until he was old enough to live alone/READY to live alone, but he changed quite a bit. was really going through it, quit his band, stopped putting effort into school. barely graduated. went from being a social butterfly spending every weekend at a gig or with friends to spending all of his time on a pc or in front of a tv, playing console games. the internet comforted him when nobody else would/could and then he met the future members of meta <33333333 #newbeginnings

present day geon is still struggling, has to go to counseling bi-weekly but he’s coming back out of his shell! he wants to fall in love with life again, just wants to tread carefully... outgoing & will talk to absolutely anyone, but he still spends most of his time alone. hard to reach by text, so if you wanna talk to him, you better call/facetime LMAO. talks a mile a minute, especially if you get him going abt something he really likes. laughs a lot, smiles a lot, more habitual than actual signs of happiness but yk. ummm he has a really loud voice, mostly controlled nowadays but he still gets carried away sometimes. an absolute menace during long drives/flights, sorry meta.

funny but only when he’s in large groups. feeds off of other peoples’ energy, really good at reading a room and breaking the ice/making everyone comfortable, but if you meet him 1-on-1, none of his jokes land quite the same.

i envision him as being the kind of guy who carries himself in such a way that you’d assume he’s really popular/out of reach/maybe even full of himself, but he’s... not like that... at all... in fact, he’s kinda irritating when you get to know him. the personification of a flood followed by a drought and vice versa, always either too much or not enough. gets used/ghosted/dropped/dumped/whatever a lot because he’s soooo fun in the moment (if he isn’t in his feelings), but draining long-term.

really emotionally intelligent, in touch with his feelings in a way that a lot of people never thought he would be (probably thanks to counseling tbh). he’s very very rarely the type of person who will make you wonder what your place in his life is — he’s communicative, kind, honest. ummm he thinks that intimacy between friends needs to be more common, so he’s really affectionate with the people in his life. type of guy to tell you he loves you every chance he gets (calling you when he’s drunk, sounding like a clingy ex type beat) & greet you/depart with a hug. losing his dad kinda fucked him up in the way that he won’t leave/hang up until his friends say “i love you” back, gets kinda (re: very) upset if he’s denied that and/or a hug.

TRIVIA.

has been playing the guitar “longer than he’s been walking” (not really, but he swears it’s true).

uhhh he really likes nail art, but he’s kinda hesitant in what he tries? mainly sticks to black polish (or other plain colors), but sometimes he’ll get little designs added in as well. mainly does it himself because he still doesn’t feel comfortable in salons... if his work looks bad, leave him alone <3 he’s trying

inspired by people like kurt cobain, nicky wire, yungblud, billie joe armstrong & damiano david in the fact that he’s not against wearing dresses or skirts on stage. doesn’t do it ALL the time, but often enough that it doesn’t go unnoticed. some people say that he does it for attention because he doesn’t dress like that elsewhere and tbh they’re probably kinda right

interested in history (only SOME... dinosaurs, ancient civilizations, specialized areas like the history of circuses/clowns/skateboarding/punk, stuff like that yk), stand-up comedy & documentaries. could spend a whole day watching documentaries and would say he had fun, has a lot of useless knowledge that nobody gives a fuck about and is kinda dumb when it comes to things that matter

when it comes to music, he prefers playing really fast and heavy rock or punk over anything else, but he actually listens to a lot more soft indie on his own time... he’s too tense these days to be listening to anything else RIPPP

the vibe: homemade tie-dye, ripped slipknot t-shirts, frosted tips, neon crocs with alien & peace-sign charms, chipped black nail polish, calloused hands, cheesy pick-up lines used NOT to land a date but to pull a smile, driving until he’s lost, stupid socks paired with pressed suits, dramatic poetry in an iphone note, etc. 

PLOT IDEAS.

people he met through online support groups about coping with grief

uhhh an on & off relationship that’s been going for who-knows-how-long. the reason for this is up for discussion, but i imagine that he hasn’t given up yet because the constant highs and lows are a good source of inspo 🤪 artists must suffer for their art!

opposite side of the coin — someone he’s interested in, but he’s NOT disloyal so it’s a pattern of persistent courting when he’s single vs intense friend-zoning when he’s not and they’re getting tired of trying to figure out what he wants from them

someone else who likes nail art & can convince him that NOBODY cares if he goes to a salon

someone (probably female but doesn’t really matter tbh) who feels like his feminism is entirely performative… maybe they attack him directly for it or maybe they just REALLY don’t like him and they’re super vague about it idk. either way, please tell him that activism is much more than recommending one female artist a year and saying “clothes have no gender 🤪” so he can be praised for the bare minimum (his heart is in the right place but his skull is empty)

someone super introverted who comes out of their shell with geon! uhhh maybe they think that he’s the one doing them a favor, but in reality spending time with them has been doing wonders for his mental health

other people who like to skate. let’s congregate at the local skatepark and scare the middle schoolers away

someone who inspires him musically, for whatever reason. lots of late nights in studios, idly strumming his guitar and writing lyrics that definitely aren’t about how their eyes look in these dim lights… umm maybe he thinks he has a crush on them but really doesn’t and ends up hurting them eventually, maybe he really DOES have a crush but will (probably) never do anything abt it or maybe it’s entirely platonic and he just admires them a ridiculous amount

someone who likes to make music as a hobby, prob won’t publish/release any of it but it’s fun to imagine. spontaneous meetings with geon in the middle of the night, recording songs together and keeping the WORST takes for the laughs. there’s probably a diss-track of them going in on each other floating around somewhere even though geon can’t rap for shit

night owls who keep him company on the phone, even if they can’t be there physically. them talking really quietly vs geon shouting at them while he plays games LMAO

gaming buddies. come over, maybe you can carry geon through his game of the week or you can both fail but have fun while you’re at it… or you can scream while he fends off that hoard of zombies behind you

i’m typing this at the last minute (literally) so i’m gonna stop here, but i will get a proper plots page put up asap with a wider variety of connections!!! but as always, please do let me know if you have any other ideas. i’m always happy to plot and write with you all 🌚

[vegetalass]

hcs of the gang being quarantined in one big house together maybe?? 🥺 lub ur writing

i lub u, anon!!🥺 sorry this took forever!

General 

Oh my godddddddddd

They had to stop doing movie nights because there was too much fighting 

They tried to set it up such that everyone got a turn to pick a movie but there were still complaints

Now, movies are viewed at random and the policy is that 

1. The TV is first come first serve

2. You have to announce when you’re using it

3. Anyone is allowed to join you 

This has stemmed into multiple people shouting “IM WATCHING _____” at random times

And yes, people will try to hide the remote (mostly Sean)

If they can find it, that is

The lines between public and private property have been blurred. Everything must be labeled or there is a chance someone will take it 

You can risk it, but it’s not recommended since they’re all dudes and will most likely eat anything 

And even with your name on a box of graham crackers, there’s still a chance someone will stick their hand it in and steal a few

All the dudes walk around in their Long Johns like it’s not awkward

They have to do their own laundry so everyone is missing socks

Or they have extras

And wet laundry is constantly being left on the ground if it’s unattended and someone needs the washer 

Arthur

This dude double dips 

He licks the spoon and puts it back in, too 

Gets yelled at a lot for this, but never remembers to stop

Everybody is afraid to touch all of the dips now because of this 

And Hosea has to start buying separate ones just for Arthur

He’s the one who takes 3 hour baths 

I imagine that there’s multiple bathrooms in the house but not enough for everyone so there are definitely times when people are like “WTF, Arthur you’re still in there?” or “Where’s Arthur?” 

Usually it’s Charles or John because they don’t mind sharing a bathroom with each other 

Cue Arthur having accidentally fallen asleep in the tub 

But yea he’s just chilling in there, otherwise

Started the quarantine off by trying to fix up the house… But immediately got lazy

There’s probably a number of things he keeps saying that he’ll “get to, eventually”

The only reason Dutch hasn’t called someone is because it’s a PANDEMIC

Technologically challenged 

Barely knows how to turn on the TV and still uses an iPhone 5 that has pretty much stopped working

John has given up trying to explain how to make things fullscreen on YouTube

Because of this, probably spends most of his time wandering around the yard and reading or journaling

Tilly even bought him some scrapbooking supplies, which he’s been trying to use 

Little washi tapes and highlighters because she knows it can’t get too complicated too fast 

She also makes him an Instagram account so he can take photos or post art

But figuring out how it works is a losing battle, and he never remembers to use it, anyway 

“I think we should get a pet” 

Everyone: “Arthur... Do we look like we take care of ourselves? 

If anyone tries to talk about how annoying the quarantine is, starts ranting about people who refuse to take it seriously

And the conversation ends up spiraling into him blaming capitalism for everything

John 

Every other meal he eats is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or Doritos

He does that thing where he wraps a bowl or plate in plastic wrap so he doesn’t have to wash it 

Doesn’t clean up after himself

Leaves used tissues, slimy butter knives with PB on them, and crusty socks laying around 

Unluckiest of them all 

His snacks get taken the most, the bathroom is always occupied when he needs it, never gets to use the TV, his laundry is always moved, etc. 

Always ends up using the bathroom when there’s no toilet paper

Texts Arthur for help and then makes an announcement in the group chat about “common courtesy” 

Nobody replies

His texts are full of messages to Abigail that all say the same thing

“Help.” + “Please come get me” + “I hate it here”

They’re all left on read except for the occasional response asking if he needs anything from Target

The list he sends back is like four paragraphs long and it’s all dumb stuff 

He’s like “FaceTime me when you get there, I wanna go shopping too”

Doesn’t even really want to leave the house for necessities, so he has to do stuff like water down his soaps or steal other people’s toiletries just to prolong how often he needs to go shopping for himself

He’s the one using Irish Spring from the dollar store mixed with water or a block of orange Dial soap that hasn’t been touched in five years 

Charles tries to throw away an empty hand soap and John is like “THERE’S STILL SOAP IN THERE LOOK” *mixes water with it* 

Steals razors and Shampoo 

Thinks conditioner is “unnecessary” and “doesn’t do anything” 

Complains about being bored but doesn’t bother to do the things people that people offer

Charles 

Voluntarily becomes a recluse 

Not because he wants to but because everyone else is too annoying to deal with 

He’s forced to start using the internet and when he’s not on the computer he’s trying to block out the noise of the 8 other men he lives with just living 

Going on walks is his other hobby

Also probably buys one of those adult coloring books to color

Like Athur, Charles hogs the bathroom 

It’s not as bad as Arthur since he’s not in the tub for the whole time but he really will spend an hour getting ready in the morning for absolutely no reason 

If anyone asks about it he just tells them that since they’re in quarantine there’s no reason to rush 

But he does get yelled at if there’s no other bathrooms available 

Becomes a self-care connoisseur 

Walks around in a bathrobe and face mask just to try and achieve some sort of zen 

Literally the only one who doesn’t walk around half naked

Besides Hosea, the one of the only guys who tries to wake up on time and eat three healthy meals a day 

The house is entirely dark and he’s eating toast while Hosea makes coffee 

It’s awkward, not because they’re weird about each other but because no one else is awake and it’s quiet for once 

Dutch is the third person up and Charles leaves the kitchen by the time he’s around 

Gave up trying to do the dishes and only cleans what he uses

Sometimes if he feels like being nice he’ll do Arthur’s dishes, too 

But only if he gets something back in return, like Arthur doing his laundry or something

The only one who changes his bedsheets on the regular

Him and Kieran are the only ones trusted by Hosea to leave the house safely 

Micah 

Everyone is surprised Micah isn’t dead yet

Everyone is constantly fed up with him for something or for just being irritating 

And try to ignore him for the most part, which is hard

Tries to defends himself with “Well, you don’t have to bother me if you don’t want to” 

Doesn’t clean up after himself, either

John leaves more mess, but Micah does worse stuff 

While John just leaves his dirty peanut butter knives around, Micah does stuff like forget to put the mayo back in the fridge, leave the bread bag out and open, forgets to bring his used dishes to the dishwasher, throws his trash in other people’s trash cans, leaves his wet laundry in the dryer, etc. 

If it’s annoying and gross, he does it 

And tries to eat food that other people have made for themselves or don’t want to share with him 

Dutch is the only one who shares with him willingly

Does not pick up his hair from the bottom of the shower

And doesn’t clean the sink after he shaves

Honestly, I doubt any of the drains in the house work properly because so much shaving goes on 

It’s honestly surprising to everyone that he takes the quarantine seriously 

Accuses people of being sick even though all of them have barely left the house… 

Wears a mask inside when he’s feeling salty 

He doesn’t even care about the mask, it’s just to make people feel gross and bad about themselves

Besides Sean, he’s always trying to hog the TV

And everything he watches is annoying, pretentious, or both

Complains about there being “nothing to watch” despite always having something on and refusing to stop

Tries to smoke inside and literally always get busted for it

Even if other people are doing it too, he’s the one who doesn’t even bother to be by a window when he does it

His room is always off limits 

If you need something from him you need to knock and wait in the doorway

Also does the “You’re too close… Step back, please” thing

And if anyone gets mad, says it’s a pandemic and he’s just trying to be SAFE

Mostly does this to feel powerful

Turns in to Uncle Jr. with all the complaining and berating he does

Uncle is honestly offended

Hosea

The only person allowed to do the shopping 

He gave up trying to give people lists because the groceries they came back with were never right 

Either too few, too many, not the right stuff... You name it 

See here for more

That’s why, despite being the oldest, he’s the one who goes grocery shopping for meals twice a week 

Refuses to buy alcohol because of incidents that they’ve had

Can’t stop people from sneaking it, though

Similar to Dutch in that he gets annoyed when people oversleep, but because its quarantine, he tries to not mention it, and at the worst, gets passive aggressive 

Tries to make a chore chart for people to follow but it gets ignored

He ends up having to force people to do things by reminding them constantly 

He’s the one who starts opening people’s doors in the morning and turning on the lights

Makes everybody start eating on paper plates with plastic silverware because he’s tired of trying to make people use the dishwasher 

Arthur doesn’t know how, John doesn’t put his plates in the right place, Charles refuses to since no one else contributes to keeping it neat, Micah doesn’t even know they have one, Kieran also can’t fill it correctly... 

Basically, it’s too much for Hosea to handle 

His dinners are all Costco pre-made meals that can be made quickly 

Frozen lasagna and prepackaged salad type stuff 

He’s the guy who falls asleep on the couch sitting up while watching TV and if you try to talk to him he says “I’m awake” without opening his eyes

And if he’s using it, don’t even think about suggesting to change the channel 

The answer is and always will be no

Even when he’s not really paying attention

And it’s either on the History Channel or Discovery Channel

Always complaining about how cold his feet are

Doesn’t let anyone touch the thermostat

He’s an in real life Elf on the Shelf

Dutch 

If anyone, and I mean anyone starts sleeping in, he gets in a really pissy mood 

“While I’m up, doing work for you, you’re sitting in bed being lazy!!!” and “What do you mean you don’t understand why! Why should I have to tell you why wasting the day is annoying to all those who are working!” 

Even despite this, he can’t actually change the fact that no one wakes up on time

And it’s not like the work he’s doing for them is very important

He’s the one who thinks that a pandemic is the perfect time to be or do something useful

Eat healthy, write a book, pump iron… Anything

And when people complain about being useless he’s like “You have all this free time!!!1! Stop complaining!!! You can do anything!!!” 

And if he’s doing something he considers useful, yells at people who try to bother him 

Arthur: “Hosea wanted to know-”

Dutch: *doing sit ups* “CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY?” 

When it’s his turn to cook dinner, he’s making 8 boxes of Trader Joe’s mac and cheese in a huge pot and calling a meal

Literally the only meal no one complains about 

He won’t clean the pot when it’s finished, though

Literally just cooks and leaves it out for someone else to deal with

Another self-care aficionado 

Also walks around in a bathrobe and face mask 

He’s worse than Charles though, because while Charles wears pants... Dutch will be booty ass naked under his 

Also keeps trying to make homemade masks and scrubs and walks around in those, too 

He’s like “This is a good one, I can tell already” 

Everyone: “Dutch... is that... mayo... in your hair?”

Annoyingly good at monopoly

Does not invite Molly over and gets yelled at over FaceTime

Cue everyone eavesdropping on their arguments

Goes on power walks

Yells at people when they listen to loud music with swear words 

Honestly, always yelling at people

“Can somebody get me my slippers? Arthur? John? Hosea? AnYoNe!!!”

Kieran 

Spends the least time in the bathroom because he’s afraid of getting yelled at 

Does everything in five minute increments 

Except for showers, when he allows himself ten minutes

Barely 

Most of what he eats is just microwave popcorn and shredded cheese

He’s the one asking people if they want to go on “family walks” with him

Literally no one joins him 

Also tries to play board games with everyone

This goes a little better at least because Hosea will sometimes play and if he’s there, a few people will definitely join 

Very bad at monopoly

The most conscious about wearing a mask 

The others wear them but Kieran is the one who wears double masks, gloves, and carries around Febreeze 

Also will get mad if anyone forgets their “safety equipment” 

Or if they’re within six feet of him in public

Props to him though for staying healthy 

I’ve mentioned this before, but... Spends most of his time playing games on a big tablet wearing headphones

Candy Crush and FarmVille and Words with Friends and stuff like that

Though all of his internet friends are weird old ladies he doesn’t know 

Everyone is mad at him for sending non-stop game notifications, too

Hosea is the only one who responds to any of them 

He’ll never admit this, though

Also tries to start doing arts and crafts 

Mary-Beth started telling him about the various crafts she’s been doing, so he’s started trying to follow along, too 

Things like crocheting or popsicle stick art 

His stuff all looks bad, but he’s just happy to be doing it

And to be FaceTiming Mary-Beth

When he gets to choose a movie, he’s picking a “family-friendly” movie like Inside Out or Lilo and Stitch 

Everyone starts out being mad but they all end up watching the whole thing without complaining 

Heated debates ensue, too 

For example, like about whether Flynn should’ve cut Repunzel’s hair in Tangled 

“YOU’RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME THAT I’M WRONG?” 

Charles + Arthur vs. Dutch + Bill

Makes meatloaf or Hamburger Helper like once a week

They’re basically the only thing he knows how to make 

Sides with Arthur when he suggests getting a pet

Wears a Snuggie 

Doesn’t change his socks 

Javier

Plays his own music very loudly and won’t turn it off or down if you ask 

Either that or he’s practicing guitar 

It’s not really that bad but when you can’t escape it.... People get mad 

The only saving grace is that the singing is usually in Spanish so it’s not as bothersome

The door to his room is always closed

Refuses to open it

To talk to him, you have to knock and then he’ll exit

Dutch is the only one allowed in and he thinks Javier’s rules about entering are creepy so never does it

Javier cooks his own food and won’t share

Only makes enough for exactly one person so even if he wanted to, there’s not enough

Eats dinner in his room to prevent people from bothering him or asking for some

However, he has the biggest stash of quarantine snacks… 

No one knows where he gets them

And getting him to share is like trying to do a drug deal, but he’s not against it as long as he gets something in return 

He didn’t personally cook all these snacks so the rules are different 

His room is full of scented candles to make it smell better since the whole house kinda smells like Boy 

Buys a gamer chair at the start of quarantine 

Claims it’s more comfortable than the office chair that Dutch and Hosea chose for everyone

Everyone is jealous

Wears fuzzy pajama pants only 

Sean

Sean is the one sleeping in

Never sleeps in his bed and just falls asleep wherever, basically

Usually the couch

Because he’s always snoozing, he’s the one who watches the most TV

Micah claims this isn’t “fair,” despite doing the same thing

And even if he’s not watching TV, he’s just using the couch to watch Tik Toks full volume 

Tries to make his own Tik Toks, but they either stink or no one wants to participate

Constantly having people get mad at him for recording them 

Stopped wearing clothes the moment quarantine started

Always in a tank top and his underpants 

It’s kinda weird 

People cared at first but by now they can’t be bothered to complain since they’re 

1. Used to it 

2. Probably start doing the same thing

Leaves his laundry laying around

Also won’t share anything he’s eating 

Gets mad when people steal food

Doesn’t address anyone in particular though, just walks around yelling about how “nobody has the common decency not to steal” 

Has food delivered almost every other day 

No one knows where he’s getting the money from, either

Everyone think it’s a waste

Mostly because he doesn’t share, but also because all hell broke loose when Hosea found out about an expense called “delivery fees” 

Also has a stick up his ass about wasting food 

Started yelling about this randomly, too 

If he can’t force someone else to finish leftovers, he forces himself to finish them 

Probably gets caught watching a certain type of nasty video a lot

Lowkey it probably happens to everybody at least once

Yells at anti-maskers 

Tries to wrestle the other boys and gets his ass handed to him

Bill

Possessive of everything 

Usually he’s not this bad but being cooped up with a bunch of thieves and liars doesn’t make him confident that his Circus Animal cookies will last very long 

Doesn’t share anything and very adamant about making sure there’s labels on things so nothing gets mixed up

Also makes his own space in the fridge with tape 

BILL’S SPACE DO NOT TOUCH 

And will start yelling in anything is moved 

Not as bad as Sean though because he only cares about his own stuff

The whole thing is super hypocritical though, because he definitely steals other people’s stuff

If he gets caught, claims “it’s only fair” 

Hosea has to buy him soap because he won’t buy it himself

Definitely the one who learns how to make prison hooch with cranberry juice and yeast

And the one who eats all of the ice cream 

Even the nasty flavors 

Wears the same clothes everyday because since he’s not working, “they’re not dirty” 

They start getting holes in them, though

If anyone tries to suggest something for him to do, he gets mad and claims he “knows how to entertain himself”

Also constantly accusing people of being in his space or business 

Ends up starting a ton of fights over this and then complaining about how mean everyone is to him 

He’s not doing it on purpose, though 

Ends up buying some kind of gaming console to pass the time

If he buys an Xbox, he shares with the rest of the boys

If he buys a nintendo switch, he starts playing Animal Crossing and doesn’t put it down for weeks 

Out of everyone… He’s the one who takes the pandemic the least serious 

He follows the rules because he doesn’t want to be eaten alive by any of the boys, but he probably thought the virus was a hoax at first 

He learned his lesson the first time he tried to go out without a mask and got locked in the car, though

Forgets to flush the toilet 

His room is dirty

[purplesurveys]

1278

Social Media Survey

[joybucket]

What is your favorite social media site?  Either Twitter or YouTube, though I never use YouTube as a social media site per se so I guess this round goes to Twitter.

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facebook? myspace? twitter? snapchat? instagram? youtube? pinterest? bzoink? another site with message boards? tumblr? deviantart? xanga?

Facebook

Do you get on Facebook every day?  Yeah pretty much all throughout the day. I used to never use it, like never ever; but back in college all announcements were coursed through Facebook so I was technically required to be on it regularly, and it was from there that I began to see memes and start to be more active. I’m a shitposter more than anything though and I rarely ever post stuff of my own. How many FB friends do you have?  I have 679 at the moment but I want to get rid of like 500 of them; it’s just such a long list to go through so I never get to proceed with my unfriending spree lol.

Have you ever been on a deleting spree?  HAHA I just mentioned that. I’ve always wanted to, but like I said 679 is already such an exhaustive list for me, and that’s considering I only started touching my Facebook in like 2019. I can’t imagine people who started Facebook in like 2009 and have 4000 friends aka most people I know.

Have you blocked a lot of haters?  I don’t have haters; at least I’m not aware of any that I have. Not that it’s something I care about at this point.

Do you get bullied online a lot?  No, but that’s also because I don’t really open the channels for people to send in hate. I don’t have Q&A handles like Curious Cat and I never pick out that option in Instagram where people can send in questions.

What's your favorite Facebook app?  Oh I never use Facebook for their apps. Are those still even a thing...? Anyway, I mainly go there to be on the hunt for stupid memes I can reshare or to watch videos that are either funny or informative.

Are you a fan of selfies?  I don’t mind if other people do it, but I think I’m honestly bad at selfies so I almost never take them. I’ve never figured out my angles or what filters look ok on me.

Has anyone ever called the police on you because they didn't like your status?  No but I have had my posts reported because they were deemed ‘offensive.’ Which is weird because my posts that have been taken down are those that speak out against disgusting men, which says a lot about Facebook runs their shit more than anything else.

Are you in any facebook groups?  I’m in nearly a hundred groups, both private i.e. for school purposes, and public.

Are you the admin of any groups?  Nah. Too much time and effort needed out of me.

Do you report abuse to group admins whenever you see it?  Yes. I report the post then leave the group.

What could make Facebook better?  They could put more effort into detecting and banning troll farms.

What year did you start using Facebook?  I made an account in 2012 because of a high school class that required us to upload this specific video-format homework onto Facebook (which in hindsight is such an insensitive homework considering that was nearly a decade ago when the Philippines was still severely behind in internet connection speeds?? Ugh). But I didn’t start actively using my account until around two years ago.

What is your current profile picture of?  Myself, posing in front of the sunflowers in school during the recent graduation season.

Did you like the old Myspace better than Facebook?  I was never a regular user of Myspace, so...

Pinterest

What are some of your favorite boards?  I’ve never had a clue what the purpose of Pinterest was. I mean I have an account...but I’ve also never gotten the hang of it?? so I never touch it hahaha.

Have you ever done a craft you saw on Pinterest?  Well no, because I’m terrible at arts and crafts anyway.

Do you have a Dream Wedding board? If so, what's on it?  No.

If you have a Dream House board, what does your dream house look like?  Ok fine this one I did start hahahah but I don’t even remember what I added on there anymore. I’m sure it was filled with modern-style houses with minimalist interior design.

Do you wish they'd bring the "like" button back?  I’m not even aware of this option.

Do you have a Bucket List board?  Not aware of this either.

Which do you like better: Just Girly Things or And That's Who I Am? The second one sounds less childish. < Same, and it sounds like it covers more.

Do you have a board for tattoos you like? If so, what are some of your faves?  No. The only one I ever made was the house one, then Pinterest quickly became boring from there when I realized there wasn’t much else I could do besides making mood boards.

Do you have a "Random" or "Miscellaneous" board?  No.

Have you ever reached the maximum number of boards?  No.

Do you have any secret boards?  No.

Have you ever had a Pin deleted because of copyright laws?  No.

Do you have a Color board? No.

Do you have an About Me board? If so, what's on it? No.

YouTube

Do you have a YouTube channel? If so, what is it?  Technically I do but I only have it so I can tailor video suggestions to my interests and so that I can like videos and subscribe to channels I like.

What kind of things do you post on YouTube?  I’ve never posted any video on there, not even private ones. I’m also not the type to comment.

What do you like to watch on YouTube?  These days YouTube serves as a stress reliever for me, which is to say I would typically go for humorous BTS-related compilations because there are sooooo many hilarious channels that make these great videos haha. Occasionally I’d go back to channels or series that I used to frequent, like Good Mythical Morning, Buzzfeed’s Worth It and Unsolved, Try Guys, Watcher, etc. 

Are you subscribed to any channels?  To so many.

Do you watch any vlogs? If so, what ones are your favorite?  Hm probably Jiwoo’s, though her channel is called Mejiwoo. I find her content calming and conversational and basically fun to binge-watch when I’m not looking for anything super super particular to watch.

If you have a channel, how many subscribers do you have?  0. I’m just a lurker.

Will you subscribe to my channel? (msg me if you want a link!)  Only if it’s really fit to my interests, I guess.

Do you watch music videos?  Rarely; not a fan of MVs in particular. I only really ever put an exception for BTS.

Have you ever watched a TV show on youtube?  Well no since their copyright team works hard and works fast lol. I do watch entire video game walkthroughs from time to time.

Have you ever worked out to exercise videos on youtube?  No, I can’t care less about working out tbh.

Have you watched Amanda Todd's famous video?  No. I’m scared that it might be too upsetting or triggering for me.

Have you ever looked up how to do something on YouTube?  Not really, I prefer looking up articles that can teach me step by step in words.

Do you get a lot of hate comments on youtube?  No, I’ve never posted anything on there.

How long have you been a youtuber?  Never been.

Instagram

Do you post on Instagram a lot?  I do 1-3 Instagram stories in a week, I would say. As for posts, I only have 4 in total and I don’t really feel the pressure to add more. I just post when I feel the want to.

Have you ever posted a poll on instagram?  Nah, I’m not too sure if anyone would participate so I’ve never tried. If you don't have an iPhone, do you wish you could use Instagram?  I’m pretty sure other operating systems can also use Instagram...

Do you have any followers?  Around 50, I think.

Do you like Instagram filters? I’ll use them sometimes to make my stories appear prettier.

Twitter

Do you think twitter is stupid? Hehe show me at least one person who doesn’t think so. < Coming from someone who regularly uses Twitter, agree. It is crazy stupid but stupid is what I’m there for. Which is honestly not always such a bad thing to me - I like that people are more themselves, more stripped-down, vulnerable on Twitter. People always seem to want to show off their best selves on Facebook and Instagram, so I’m actually kind of grateful that there is at least one social media out there where people can just be their clumsy, goofy selves.

How often do you tweet?  Probably a maximum of five a day. Nowadays I’m on there mostly to just scroll through my timelines.

Do you get on twitter every day?  Yes, both on my personal and fan account.

Bzoink

Do you make a lot of surveys?  I never make them but I try to take them as often as I can.

Do you take a lot of surveys?  Haha sorry, was one step ahead of you. Yeah, I do.

Do you post in the message boards?  Nah. I dunno if I’m even permitted to check the message boards on Bzoink considering I don’t have an account.

What types of surveys are your favorite?  Categorized surveys like this one or countdown ones can be fun, but at the end of the day I like sticking to the classic random survey.

Do you have friends on here?  Not on Bzoink, but here on Tumblr yes! There’s a number of people here I like keeping up with :)

Do you post all your secrets on here?  Again, not on Bzoink; but yep I share pretty much everything here.

What type of survey do you think I should make next?  Anything but basic/about me-themed ones that will ask for my name and eye color and weight.

Do you read peoples' answers to your surveys?  I’ve never made a survey.

Do you think you are good at making surveys? 

Do you try to make unique surveys?

What type of surveys do you want to see more of?

Random

This or That

Scattergories

Have You Ever

Are you like me?

About You

Personal, Deep Questions

Girly

Music shuffle

Would You Rather

Do you have this in your bedroom?

Long

Short

All About Your Crush

Fashion

Make-up

School

Music

Your health

Your friends

Confessions

Girl Confessions - how different is this from just confessions? Hahaha

R-Rated

Controversial topics

Myspace

Did you have a myspace when you were in high school?  I started an account in like 4th grade when Myspace was ~big, but I didn’t find it fun and everyone my age was on Friendster anyway, so I was largely inactive.

Do you use myspace now?  No. Is it still even around? I have no clue.

Do you miss bulletins? I didn’t get to join in on the fun so there’s nothing to miss.

Did you like customizing your profile with the old myspace?  Not attributed to Myspace but I did have a lot of fun customizing my Multiply and Tumblr accounts back in the day. That was a period where I really got to learn and play around with HTML :)

Did you have music on your profile?  Not on Myspace again but I did on Multiply! I had a cute little playlist that played the songs immediately as soon as you landed on my page hahaha.

Did you learn HTML when you used Myspace?  Tumblr, yeah. I believe the skills are still there but I’ll definitely be a bit rusty.

Did you have a customized cursor?  Oh, no. Wasn’t a fan of those as I found them a bit tacky.

Did you use glitter graphics?  Also found those tacky haha no, I never used those.

Do you remember posting glitter graphics on friends' pages?  Nope.

Did you make "dolls"?  I don’t recall ever making those.

Did you use photo captions?  Not sure what this is referring to so let’s just say no.

Did you have a photo slideshow on your profile?  Hmmm nope, I don’t think so.

Xanga

Did you have a Xanga account back in the day?  No. It wasn’t big here so I had never heard of it until I started taking surveys on here and heard people mentioning Xanga, actually.

Do you have a xanga account now?  No.

Did you post photos and quotes on your xanga page?  I never had any.

Snapchat

Do you use snapchat?  I did; I was superrrrr active on there for a time. It kind of just got old at one point, though, and my feed got more and more dead until I too just left my account dormant altogether.

What is your favorite filter?  There were a lot of cute ones on there that helped me be more confident with taking selfies but my favorites have to be the dog and flower crown ones.

Tumblr

Do you understand Tumblr?  I had a better handle of it when I ran a fan account that required me to be more active; but now that I really just go on here to take surveys I just use the basic functions and nothing more. But yeah, I understand just enough to get by.

Do you use Tumblr?  Yeah. Even on the days I don’t post surveys, I regularly go on here to keep up with friends I like keeping up with like Elisabeth, Lane, Steph, Lina, Julie :)

Other

What forum sites did you use to love that aren't around anymore?  There was one message board I frequented for this girly/tween magazine I used to collect, but I won’t share the name.

Are there any other great social media sites that you recommend?  I think this survey was able to cover all the main ones I use.

Do you use a photo editing site? If so, what?  I use apps instead of sites to edit my photos.

Do you ever use BeFunky.com?  Nope.

Do you use a video editing site? If so, what?  Nah, I rarely have to edit videos in a super intricate, detailed way. Apple’s video editing features suffice for me.

Have you ever downloaded fonts?  Very occasionally since it’s never necessary.

Have you ever used photobucket to upload an image?  No but I remember going on there back in the day to look for images. I never uploaded any, though.

Do you use iTunes?  Not anymore. I have an account on Spotify now.

Do you listen to music on Pandora?  No, never used it.

[pinkandgreenarepurpleandyellow]

My Personal Theory on TGWDLM, Black Friday, and Nerdy Prudes Must Die

Disclaimer: atm i can't put in screenshots for evidence (ill see if i can add them on later). Also, I know other people have lots of theories, but i have not seen any (haven’t searched for them either) so I'm sorry if this seems similar to anyone else. Note: At the time of writing this post NPMD has not been released (it is current March 22, 2020, mid Covid-19 quarantine), so i apologize if i get anything wrong, i’m basing all of this on the hypothetical i’ve constructed w/the first two.

My theory for how they are connected:

The three universes are actually all partially true, but none of them are the real universe. They’re divergences.

The real universe has this:

- Some kind of apocalypse

- Bloodthirsty cult who are all linked together in some level of thought

- PEIP unit

- General John McNamara

- Paul and Emma

Going theory on real universe: In the real universe, there is a sudden apocalypse brought on by people’s madness regarding something, and the PEIP unit is sent in only to find out it’s a horrifying something. With the unit’s efforts and the something’s weakness, there’s a massive reality-affecting explosion. Reality splits into parts, the 3 potential variations.

Every explosion has an epicenter, the thing that’s least affected. Things closer to the edge are less accurate, while things closer to the center are more on point. 

John McNamara, along with the something, is the epicenter. He stays the exact same in all three universes because he’s at the center. And because he’s the center, he affects the realities around him. Their inaccuracies are based on his impression of reality.

McNamara sees himself as a soldier loyal to a purpose greater than any manmade institution. He will be that soldier in any reality, self-sacrificing, brave, and trying to help. His impressions of other things are less accurate.

Basis of the universes:

Paul and Emma, along with various people, escape. They tell McNamara what they think happened. Paul runs into him first, then Emma at a later point. McNamara hears their stories, but details are muddled, little things forgotten. And these details affect the story massively.

Basis of the villain creatures:

The antagonist is always based off of something McNamara hates. Conformity for TGWDLM. Capitalist obsessions for Black Friday. Societal pressure regarding sex for NPMD. All of these he hates because they are man-made constructs oppressing people.

If he’s the hero of his story, these are the villains.

Basis for the other people involved:

TGWDLM is most likely the most accurate portrayal of Paul and Emma. These are probably the most “realistic” versions of them. That story is probably the most accurate to the people in it. That’s not to say the creature is an alien, just that these are characters from that story.

But McNamara messes up little details. And they shift all of reality.

He doesn’t know what Charlotte does for a living, just that she has an abusvie husband. What if she couldn’t get away? What if she could? Wouldn’t it be nice if she could get away, even if it was with murder?

He knows there’s a father trying to do good for his kid but having problems. So maybe teenage lesbian Alice is nine year-old Ethan, and maybe divorced dad is really a widower.

He knows there’s a creepy coworker who Paul hates. Maybe he’s a creep. Or maybe he's secretly with the evil thing.

So they change to fit the parts.

AND his pictures of Emma and Paul are skewed.

He sees Paul as a nervous, flighty person. Emma as a nihilist, rude, fed up with unfair crap gal. Maybe they tell him the truth and really Paul is good and Emma is tired. Or maybe they’re lying and Paul’s a dick and Emma would steal from her job given any opportunity.

So McNamara’s doubt in their stories leads to even the things he knows well changing in the other realities. Black Friday is the worst version of them he believes possible.

Emma’s bitchy barista boss or Lex’s capitalism-obsessed manager?

Dead older sister or “Dumb” little sister holding her back?

Nervous guy or dickhead?

Absent-minded boss turned converter or Demented maniac turned prophetess?

Paul being mostly okay but working with sleazy people, or Paul being a guy who is one of the sleazy people?

Emma being tired and wanting out but being held back by memories, or Emma wanting out and staying only to not kill her sister?

TGWDLM: Based mostly off of their direct testimonies. Paul remembers everyone being crazy and lots of commercial music playing. Emma remembers people she thought she could trust going insane and making her freak out. This is what they think is happening, and in part it is.

Reality: Probably a society like the US would not die without some kind of music (probably commercials (see Cup of Roasted Coffee)) playing everywhere. Mass cults and crazies always want people to convert, and are more than okay with killing people who oppose. They’re probably some level of hive-mind.

Black Friday: Based on McNamara’s worst assumptions of them. Paul is nervous and neurotic, freakign out and asking “okay okay” like it’s the worlds most critical question. Emma is willing to be a bitch, willing to steal. Paul is irrelevant to the big true story. Emma’s mentor, whom she trusts, betrays her in this or that way.

Reality: Not unlikely that a leader figure forms some way or another. Sacrifices tend to be useful, and when push comes to shove, both Paul and Emma could end up like this. 

Current prediction for NPMD:

- Evil color:

In tgwdlm, the color is blue. Blue tends to be a digital color when it’s evil. The assimilated appear to be like computers, all sharing the exact same data for everything, capable of communicating what one knows to everyone else (see: Paul singing ‘Show Stopping Number’ and teen trio knowing who Paul is ). Everyone is assimilated into equals. No power structure amongst the assimilated.

In black friday, the color is green. Green is a life color, a color for evil stepping in.  The cult has all basic ideas, but no mutual sharing of thought and have to talk out loud to transfer ideas (see: no one noticing the ponies negation, the fact that they talk out loud and all say different things with no synchronicity, as opposed to tgwdlm). The assimilated have established rank of authority, like a family. Lesser, the children, and the prophetess, the mother.

NPMD will probably be red. Glowing, neon red. Red is a color for lust (see: Prudes) and violence (must die). Probably the assimilated will have no central leader or control. Full anarchy ensues. No form of mass communication. A central idea of either sex or violence or both implanted in people, but no further attempts at leadership or structure. Some level of teams will inevitably occur, but they will be individual pieces rather than being ordered by the inhuman thing.

- McNamara’s death:

tgwdlm, death in battle, details unknown. Converted.

black friday, death in black and white, gradual dissolving from lack of suit. Resistant till the end.

NPMD prediction: dead in battle, details seen. No conversion. No survival. Torn apart onstage.

- Paul and Emma:

tgwdlm, main characters, dead by conversion, only survivals of disaster.

black friday, side pieces, dead by nuke, part of gathering of survivors

NPMD prediction: smaller story arc, dead by emma killing paul when she is turned, ambush survivors.

- Misc:

Coffee guy and homeless dude will show up. So will the collectibles geek. McNamara will definitely say: “I'm authorizing you to use my firearm”.  Someone does the “smoking weed” moves. Someone says “wear a watch”. Paul mentions his iPhone. At least one dramatic scene will be all blood red lighting. 

[vernonfielding]

I’ll keep it (our secret)

Jake agrees it's best they don't tell Charles they're trying. It's just really, really hard. (Yep, it’s a missing scene from Pimemento.)

Thanks to @fezzle for the beta! She’s just the best, you guys. And thanks also to @exploding-snapple, who inadvertently inspired this story, somewhat, from a conversation we had last week.

Read on AO3.

The morning after their first foray into baby-making sex, Jake is sitting at his desk when a woman walks into the precinct holding a baby on her hip and weirdly, his first thought is, ‘That was fast.’

It’s followed immediately by his second thought, which is that the baby, of course, is not his.

“Can I help you?” Jake says to the woman.

“Someone broke into my apartment last night,” the woman says, and then bursts into tears.

Jake’s not bad with people who are crying; he’s not great with them either. But the bullpen is currently empty of detectives other than Hitchcock and Scully, who appear to be playing cat’s cradle with their toes, so he leads the woman to the chair by his own desk and waits for her to calm down enough to tell him more. He gets why the woman is freaked out -- she woke up this morning to find her living room in disarray, her TV and laptop and purse all gone -- but it’s a relatively boring case. When he’s done getting the basics, the woman -- her name is Caroline Wu -- dabs at her eyes and sniffles dramatically.

“I’m sorry I’m such a mess, it’s just my wife is out of town and this is my first time alone with the baby,” Ms. Wu says, gesturing to the kid on her lap. He has black hair that sticks up straight all over, like a cartoon character who’s just been shocked, and he’s been drooling steadily for the past half hour.

“It’s okay,” Jake says. “We’ll take care of this.”

The woman gives him a weak, watery smile and rubs at her nose with the sleeve of her shirt. Her eyes are bloodshot and swollen and her cheeks are a splotchy pink and he feels bad for noticing that she’s kind of a wreck. He feels worse when she sighs and says, “I’m such a mess. Is there a bathroom I can use?”

“Yeah, down the hall,” Jake says, and nods in the right direction.

The woman stands, shuffling the baby back onto her hip, and then she bites her lip and shuffles her feet before saying, “I hate to ask, but- would you mind holding my son? I’ll just be a minute.”

Jake feels himself go wide-eyed for a moment, then shakes himself and says, “Sure, yeah, here,” and holds his hands up for the baby. Ms. Wu passes him over and thanks Jake and heads down the hall, her sneakers squeaking against the linoleum.

The baby is heavy in his arms, and Jake sets him on his knee and bounces him a little. The kid could be three months old or three years, Jake honestly has no clue. He blinks up at Jake, looking totally unbothered to be left here without his mom, and Jake wonders if it’s too early for a “stranger danger” conversation.

“Can you talk?” Jake says to the baby. The baby drools. “Okay, well. I’m Jake. I guess you can’t tell me your name.”

He’s held babies before, of course: Ava and Iggy, Amy’s niece Dolores and her nephew Reggie, Cagney and Lacey, though not when they were this small. He’s never really noticed before how warm babies are, and how sturdy. This baby’s eyes are so brown they’re almost black, and he’s looking at Jake like he can see straight into his soul (and hasn’t yet made up his mind about whether he likes what he sees).

The baby jams a fist in his mouth, and in the same instant he grabs for the badge around Jake’s neck and yanks, hard. Jake lurches forward in his chair and throws his arms around the baby to keep him from slipping off his knee to the floor, and that’s when he hears the shutter-click of an iphone camera and looks up into the gleeful face of Charles.

“This is so beautiful,” says Charles, who may or may not be crying. “I’m sending it to Amy.”

Jake hears the “swoosh” of a sent message, and less than a minute after that his own phone vibrates on his desk. Jake shuffles the baby to his other knee so he can pick up the phone. It’s a text from Amy, all caps: DO NOT TELL HIM.

Jake sighs and sets his phone face-down on his desk. The baby has stuffed Jake’s badge in his mouth, and Charles is still taking photos. This is going to be impossible.

+++

It’s not like Jake actually tells Charles everything. He kept the proposal a secret -- never even let on that he was buying the ring. He doesn’t talk about his sex life (it’s too private, and Charles’ brain and/or heart couldn’t take it anyway), or about how sometimes Amy’s tendency to schedule every minute of their shared days off makes him want to burn her special weekend binders (just a little burning -- like a light char).

But this feels different. A baby -- that’s such a huge step, and Jake’s excited, his whole body practically thrumming with a nervous, joyful anticipation, but he’s still scared, too. And now that they’re committed to this, like actually having the unprotected baby-making sex (and oh god, Amy could be pregnant right now), Jake doesn’t want to lay all his fears on Amy. She needs him to be all in, and he is all in, he truly is, but it’s possible to be all in and also terrified, he’s realizing, because that’s where he’s at.

He can’t even articulate to himself what he’s scared of, exactly. He knows by now that he won’t be his dad, that he would never abandon Amy or their child and that he’ll always do his very best. But what if his best still isn’t good enough? What if he lets them down in some way he can’t even begin to imagine right now, because he never had a dad to let him down (other than the obvious let-down of total abandonment -- but aside from that)? Jake doesn’t even know what he doesn’t know about being a good father. 

Charles would say, ‘You’re Jake, any baby you father is going to be the luckiest baby in the world.’ And then he’d say, ‘You’re going to be top ten, maybe top five dads of all time, like probably not better than Mufasa or Full House’s Danny Tanner, but right up there.’ And then things would start to get weird and Charles would talk about how he wishes Jake was his father, and Jake would have to hang up on him or walk away or whatever, but the other stuff? Jake kind of really wants to hear that right now. He wants Charles’ uncomplicated, unrelenting confidence in all things Jake.

+++

“You can tell Charles if you really want to,” Amy says that night, after their second round of baby-making sex of the evening.

Jake’s feeling pretty spent as the sweat cools on his face and chest, and he idly winds his fingers through Amy’s hair. She’s tucked up against him, her head on his shoulder, and he can feel her heart still beating fast.

“Are you really talking about Charles?” Jake says, and Amy chuckles.

“I was thinking about how right now one of your little sperms might be swimming to my egg and this could be it,” Amy says, and Jake feels a nervous, happy flutter in his belly. “And then I realized that was exactly the kind of thing Charles would be thinking about, which, by the way, is why we’re not telling him. But he’s your best friend, and-”

“Ames, you’re my best friend,” Jake says, and pulls her closer to him. “It’s fine if we keep this just between us.”

“And Rosa,” Amy says.

“And- You told Rosa?” Jake sits up a little, and Amy rolls onto her back and gives him a sheepish half-smile.

“I’d told her when I thought I might be pregnant. You were dealing with the manhunt and I was freaking out a little and I needed her help,” Amy says. “And then the next day she asked how you’d taken it and I kind of just- told her we were trying. I’m sorry!”

“It’s fine,” Jake says quickly, leaning over to kiss her briefly. “At least we know Rosa won’t tell anyone, ever.”

Whereas Charles -- well. “I just don’t want everyone to know,” Amy says. “We don’t know how long this will take, or if there might even be problems along the way. And if we tell Charles you know he’ll start bringing in some kind of animal placenta soup and trust me, there will be plenty of time for morning sickness later, I don’t need the nausea now.”

“I get it, babe,” Jake says. He lies back down alongside her, and this time he rests his head on her shoulder, and he traces his fingers over her flat stomach. “Just us. And Rosa.”

Amy laughs, and Jake feels it under his fingers and imagines a baby there. He lays his palm over her skin and concentrates.

“I love you,” Amy says.

“Love you too.”

+++

The next morning Jake gets a call from Terry before Amy’s first alarm has even gone off. He’s got a suspected kidnapping case, and he needs Jake and Charles at the scene ASAP.

“Please tell me this is kicking your paternal instinct into overdrive,” Charles says, as soon as they’ve walked into La Petite Bebe daycare center, where a dozen children of various sizes, shapes and colors are toddling and squatting and crying and chewing on things.

Jake hisses, “Not now, Charles,” and squares his shoulders as a middle-aged woman with her hair pulled into a messy ponytail rushes toward them and introduces herself as Lena, the owner of the daycare.

One of the children has gone missing, Lena says, and shows them the ledger where she keeps track of drop-offs. She points out the name of the 5-month-old who was delivered by her father that morning at 6 a.m. and is now nowhere to be found.

“Could she have left on her own?” Jake says.

Lena stares at him, and Jake feels his cheeks start to burn. “She’s 5 months old,” she repeats. “She can’t even crawl yet.”

“So, no,” Jake says.

Lena leads them to a sofa where they can talk while her aide watches the remaining kids. She gives them a description of the baby: short brown hair, blue eyes, wearing pink leggings and a white onesie printed with “Welcome to the Shit Show” (“I don’t dress them,” Lena adds quickly). The parents are married and don’t seem to have any conflict. She’s called them both and left messages but they haven’t replied yet -- they don’t know their child is missing.

Charles takes notes and Jake is doing a fine job of not getting distracted by the total chaos around them, until a small child suddenly crawls right up to him, uses his knee to leverage herself to her feet, and makes a grab for his badge. She’s shoved it in her mouth before Jake can figure out what he’s supposed to do. 

Lena sighs and picks up the child, who wails when Jake’s badge slips out of her mouth.

“Sorry about that,” she says.

“It’s okay. I haven’t even cleaned it since the last one,” Jake says.

Five minutes later, the mother calls and tells Lena there was a miscommunication with her husband -- little Leslie wasn’t supposed to go to daycare at all that day, so they came by and picked her up and took her home and oops, forgot to tell anyone. She’s sorry for the inconvenience.

“Parents,” Lena says, shoulders slumping with relief or exhaustion, or both.

“Quick question,” Charles says, eyes darting to Jake and then back to Lena, “do you have a waiting list? And would it be presumptive to get on that waiting list before the child has been conceived?”

Jake stands up so quickly he pulls a small muscle in his back, and yanks Charles to his feet.

“Have a nice day, ma’am,” he says and hauls them both out the door.

+++

They get sent to a kid’s first birthday party in the afternoon, after a man who had been stabbed multiple times stumbled into the parents’ Greenpoint backyard. Fortunately none of the babies saw anything.

“You have to feel like the universe is sending you a message,” Charles says, after the paramedics have hauled the man away. He and Jake are following a blood trail, which starts at the sidewalk in front of the house and ends just beneath the pinata strung to a tree branch. Jake’s pretty sure 1-year-olds are too young to be swinging bats at pinatas, but he’s not a dad (yet), what does he know?

Jake takes off his sunglasses and pinches the bridge of his nose. He does actually feel like the universe or whatever is trying to tell him something, but he doesn’t know what. Behind him, he can hear children squealing and parents laughing, and then everyone starts singing “Happy Birthday.”

In a year and nine months, it might be his own kid’s first birthday. The image of it flashes before his eyes: A brown-haired baby with bright laughing eyes and a huge smile, chocolate cake smeared all over its face. Amy is crying a little, and Jake is too, and Charles makes them stand on either side of the high chair for a photo. Charles is, of course, bawling.

Jake realizes he’s smiling to himself and bites his lip to stop. He puts his sunglasses back on and turns to Charles, who is watching him expectantly, rocking back on his heels.

“It looks like the stabbing happened out front,” Jake says, wincing a little when Charles’ face falls. “We should start there.”

Later, the father of the birthday boy invites them to the party for cake, and they both politely decline. But when they’re alone again Charles says he knows of a place nearby that has a pork-and-beans cupcake he’s been dying to try and Jake opens his mouth to say yes, of course (even though -- no, absolutely not).

But he thinks about dodging Charles’ comments and questions about babies and biological clocks and fertility windows and he knows he’ll never survive.

“Sorry, bud. I’ve got plans.”

“Sure, okay,” Charles says, voice gone flat and horrible. “Some other time.”

+++

Jake’s standing at the kitchen counter wiping down his badge with Purell when Amy gets home that evening. She raises a questioning eyebrow but doesn’t actually ask what he’s doing.

They have salads for dinner because Amy read an article about fertility superfoods and apparently spinach and kale are the superest. When Jake doesn’t even raise a cursory protest, Amy asks him if he’s feeling okay.

“Yeah, fine,” Jake says, and stuffs a forkful of deep green spinach in his mouth. It tastes chalky and bitter and he swallows it down with grape soda (he’s trying to branch out a little).

Amy tells him about Gary’s latest accidental attempt at a coup among the beat cops -- “I know he doesn’t mean to undermine me, but he really needs to shut the f up about color-coding the weekend rotations” -- and Jake tells her about the not-missing kid from the morning and finding a man bleeding to death under a pinata.

They’re cleaning up together, Amy wiping down counters while Jake gets the dishwasher going, when Amy asks how it’s going with Charles. “He must have been losing it with all of those babies in the vicinity,” she says, and though she’s laughing a little Jake senses that she’s concerned.

“He was fine,” Jake says, and off Amy’s skeptical smirk, adds, “Okay, he was Charles.”

Amy tosses her sponge into the sink and rests a hip against the counter, and he can feel her gaze on the side of his face as he crouches over the dishwasher. He sets it running and then wipes off his hands on a towel and steps over to her. He loops his arms around her waist, tugging her to him, and kisses her, gently at first. When she hums against his lips he opens his mouth, tilts his head just so, and slides his tongue alongside hers. They make out for a while, Amy’s hands curling over his neck and his fingers reaching up under her shirt to stroke over her back.

Then the dishwasher gurgles loudly and they break apart, laughing.

“C’mon,” Jake says, letting go of her waist to grab her hand and pull her toward the bedroom. “I think it’s time for me to put some bludgers in your golden snitch.”

He hears Amy sigh behind him. “That’s not how Quidditch works, Jake.”

+++

Pimento, at least, takes Charles’ mind off of babies. It helps that they’ve gone more than 24 hours without a single child sighting.

Which is why Jake’s glad he’s alone in the main hospital waiting area when a couple emerges from an elevator. They’re young and their eyes are bruised with exhaustion and they both have the shell-shocked look that Jake usually associates with people who have just survived near-death experiences, but there’s a glow about them that he recognizes too. The man is holding a tiny pink bundle in his arms, and the woman keeps peeking over at them both, like she can’t help herself, like she can hardly stand to look anywhere else.

Jake’s heart is beating too-fast, because that will be him -- he’ll be the man with the bundle, the father taking his little girl or little boy home for the first time, and Amy will be right there too, and it’s going to be incredible. 

And when they get home, after they’ve settled in a bit, Charles will bring them so much soup and so many casseroles and they’ll even eat most of it because they won’t have time to shop or cook for themselves. And Charles will take photos and change diapers when they both need a break, and he’ll tell Jake he’s doing great, he’s doing his best, and that’s all any kid needs, after all.

“We can go up and see him now,” Charles says, breaking into his thoughts. Jake jerks and looks away from the new family, just as they disappear out the main hospital doors.

“Huh?”

“Pimento, we can see him,” Charles says. “Are you ready?”

Jake thinks about that for a moment and then grins up at Charles and stands. “Yeah,” he says, “I’m ready.”

End Notes:

The title is from Feed the Beast (Bash Brothers, of course).

A note on the timeline: I THINK this fits with what we have so far from the season? I notice some people are thinking that a couple of months have passed since the first episode, but I’m going with this being Jake and Amy’s first round at baby-making. If I missed some canon detail, please let me know! 

[milofuckedup]

Questionnaire; task 2

read more about my boy under the cut

Basic Character Questions

First name?  Milo

Last names? Blevins

Middle names? Dean

Nicknames? Mi, Mimi, Spacey

Date of birth? September 9th 1996

Age? 23

Physical / Appearance

Height? 6″0

Build? Athletic, lanky

Hair colour? Honey Brunette

Hair style? Mess of locks across his head

Eye colour? Blue

Glasses or contact lenses? Neither

Scars or birthmarks? cigarette burns across his arms, a scar above his right eye

Tattoos? none

Physical or mental handicaps? none

Type of clothes? thrift store chic. He lives in light washed jeans and old button down shirts

Race / Ethnicity? caucasian 

Mannerisms? fidgety, stuttery, always rubbing his lips 

Personality

What words or phrases do they overuse? “im sorry” “lets play a game” “can we go home?”

Do they have a catchphrase? No

Are they more optimistic or pessimistic? pessimistic

Are they introverted or extroverted? VERY introverted

Do they ever put on airs? no

What bad habits do they have? smoking, drinking, running away 

What makes them laugh out loud? just about everything

How do they display affection? gently nuzzling his head into you, resting his head on your shoulder, holding your hand. He likes to be touched softly

How do they want to be seen by others? like a nice person, someone who loves deeply and genuinely 

How do they see themselves? as actual human garbage 

Strongest character trait? sensitivity 

Weakest character trait? sensitivity 

How competitive are they? not at all

Do they make snap judgements or take time to consider? he over things EVERYTHING

How do they react to praise? awkwardly

How do they react to criticism? crying

What is their greatest fear? spiders

What are their biggest secrets? he is sure that everyone in his life hates him, they all want him gone, so he works with everything that he has to try and get people to stay

When was the last time they cried? right now, he is probably crying this moment. 

What haunts them? his father

What will they stand up for? his friends, his loved ones, never himself

Are they indoorsy or outdoorsy? indoorsy

What is their sinful little habit? chainsmoker 

What quality do they most value in a friend? honesty, loyalty, wont leave him

What do they consider an overrated virtue? Dignity 

If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be? his inability to speak about what he wants, what he likes, what he needs from someone

What is their obsession? reading

What are their pet peeves? people biting their nails. 

Friends and Family

Is their family big or small? Who does it consist of? hes all alone. 

What is their perception of family? that it isnt who you are born with it is who you chose. 

Do they have siblings? Older or younger? none

Describe their best friend. Luna Olsson she is selfless, and thoughtful and has picked Milo up more times than he can count, she is the on person on this planet he trusts enough to live with, he loves her more than he thought he could, he has let her in more than anyone else. 

Ideal best friend? See Above

Describe their other friends. Hudson the person he always turns to when life gets too tough. Tanner  the man that he can always have fun with, turn his brain off with and just let himself breathe with. Rion someone who has always been perfect and loving and gentle with him. 

Do they have any pets? no 

Past and Future

What was your character like as a baby? As a child? he was a quiet baby, and a well behaved child, he did everything that he could to get his mother to stop abandoning him  

Did they grow up rich or poor? DIRT poor

Did they grow up nurtured or neglected? neglected 

What is their greatest achievement? staying alive

What was their first kiss like? awkward, fumbly, he threw up afterwards because his stomach was in knots

What is the worst thing they did to someone they loved? make them feel like they were second best

What are their ambitions? maybe get his GED one day

What advice would they give their younger self? its all shit, dont even bother trying

What smells remind them of their childhood? burning tires, old gas stations, and piss under bridges

What was their childhood ambition? to stay alive

What is their best childhood memory? his 10th birthday his best friend came over with a cupcake and remembered the day while his mom was drugged up on the couch

What is their worst childhood memory? take your fuckin pick. 

Did they have an imaginary childhood friend? no

When was the last time they were crushed with disappointment? every day 

What past act are they most ashamed of? any time he has ever been intimate with someone 

What past act are they most proud of? any time he has been intimate with someone 

Love

Do they believe in love at first sight? no 

Are they in a relationship? no 

How do they behave in a relationship? like a lovesick puppy, very clingy, very needy, asks if they still love him every twenty five seconds 

When did you character last have sex? two years ago

Has your character ever been in love? yes

Have they ever had their heart broken? yes

Conflict

How do they respond to a threat? tears

Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? his tongue 

If your character could only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? the teddy bear his grandma gave him

What do they love to hate? reality television 

What are their phobias? spiders, the dark, being alone

What living person do they most despise? no one 

Have they ever been bullied or teased? his whole life 

Where do they go when they’re angry? on a long drive to the next town over 

Who are their enemies and why? he doesnt like to have any 

Work, Education and Hobbies

What is their current job? gas station clerk 

What do they think about their current job? he hates it

What are some of their past jobs? gas station clerk, thief, drug dealer

What are their hobbies? reading, writing, singing 

Educational background? didnt get ANY formal education

Do they have a natural talent for something? singing 

Do they play a sport? Are they any good? god no 

What is their socioeconomic status? lower lower lower class 

Favourites

What is their favourite animal? cats 

What place would they most like to visit? england 

What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? the beach at night 

What is their favourite song? halloween - hunny 

Music, art, reading preferred? music: indie. Art: abstract. Reading: character studies 

What is their favourite color? green

Favourite food: chicken tenders and fries

What is their favourite day of the week? friday night

Possessions

What is in their fridge: ketchup, sauces, lemons

What is on their bedside table? books, a glass of water 

What is in their car? absolutely nothing

What is in their purse or wallet? his id, and his library card

What is in their pockets? a packet of gum, his phone, his empty wallet, his keys, two rings that he takes on and off 

What is their most treasured possession? his book collection

Spirituality

Who or what is your character’s guardian angel? doesnt have one

Do they believe in the afterlife? no

What are their religious views? none

What do they think heaven is? a full fridge and your best friends 

What do they think hell is? other people

Are they superstitious? no 

What would they like to be reincarnated as? a house cat

How would they like to die? car accident or sleep 

What is your character’s spirit animal? field mouse

What is their zodiac sign? virgo

Values

What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? abandonment 

When did they last lie? he doesnt really lie, he mainly omits truths

what is their view of lying? he hates it, thinks its despicable 

When did they last make a promise? last week 

Did they keep or break their last promise? he broke it

Daily life

What are their eating habits? whenever he can, he will eat whatever is in front of him. 

Do they have any allergies? pollen 

Describe their home. small, dingey, covered in books, a bed on the floor, empty fridge 

Are they minimalist or a clutter hoarder? clutter hoarder 

What do they do first thing on a weekday morning? sleep, he just finished the night shift

What do they do on a Sunday afternoon? go for a walk and take a picnic

What do they do on a Friday night? stay in and read

What is the soft drink of choice? sprite

What is their alcoholic drink of choice? whiskey neat

Miscellaneous

Who is their hero? he doesnt have any

What or who would your character dress up as for Halloween? dracula

If they could save one person, who would it be?

If they could call one person for help, who would it be?

What is their greatest extravagance? he owns an iphone 5 

What is their greatest regret? hurting angel @angclhqs​

What would they do if they won the lottery? buy a house, donate the rest

Do they believe in happy endings? no 

What is their idea of perfect happiness? a good book, electricity on, and a cup of tea 

What would they ask a fortune teller? how long until I am content

If your character could travel through time, where would they go? 2200 

If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? invisibility 

[xodaniellevictoria]

8 Days in Paris

I’ve been wanting to visit Paris for as long as I can remember. 2 weeks ago my life long dream, CAME TRUE! My fascination with the city began with my love for ballet. For those who don't know I was a ballet dancer for 16 years, and the type of ballet I was taught, originated in Paris. I have envisioned myself walking amongst the city streets for years and to finally cross this off my bucket list was an indescribable feeling. I want to share everything we did while we were there, and any quick tips to help you out if you’re wanting to visit this amazing place for yourself! 

Alright lets start with planning. I searched for EVER to find affordable flights. Typically out of California round trip tickets to Paris are around $1200 each. By some miracle I was able to find round trip tickets for $500 each. (Because it’s off season for tourism and once the weather gets colder, the ticket prices drop) I didn't use any specific sites or cheap airlines, I was just always looking for a deal. So I definitely recommend going on off season (Fall to early spring) to avoid high ticket prices. 

While you're planning, I would also really recommend staying at an Airbnb over a hotel. We really felt like we got the true Parisian experience and most Airbnbs are cheaper then hotels is what I noticed while planning.

HERE IS A LINK to the cute private apartment we stayed at while we were there. It was PERFECT for what we wanted. The iconic Parisian windows, a great view to a little courtyard, in the city center, and 3 minute walk to the subway. (Photo below for the ideal Parisian windows I was talking about.)

We decided to break up our trip by spending the majority of our time in Paris at the Airbnb, and then the last 2 nights we splurged and stayed at a hotel I’ve had my eye on for awhile now. Hotel Providence is the Parisian hotel of my dreams, and it did not disappoint. The stunning lush decor and rich color palette of the entire hotel checked off all my aesthetic points. We had champagne waiting for us in our room, and they were accommodating for early check in and leaving our bags at the front desk after we checked out, since we had some time to kill before our flight. I found the hotel on Instagram and I’m so glad I did. They have an amazing bar downstairs that was great for pre and post dinner drinks. They serve food as well but we unfortunately never got to try any. The front desk and service at the bar was amazing, super friendly, spoke great English and would absolutely recommend staying here if your budget allows. See below for pictures of our beautiful room and the outside seats of the bar / restaurant! CLICK HERE FOR A LINK TO THE HOTEL

Another thing I would highly recommend is getting the PARIS CITY PASS. This pass will get you into the Louvre, Musee d’Orsay, Versailles, you name a Parisian attraction, and this pass will most likely get you in, and the best part is you won't have to wait in ticket lines. At the Louvre, there was a 2 hour wait to get tickets, and we literally walked RIGHT in... Sorry everyone in line! Should have done your research! 

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE SITE TO GET YOUR PARIS CITY PASS

While planning, something else to think about is transportation. Basically the entire trip, we took Paris’s subway system ‘Le Metro.’ If you have an iPhone, using apple maps is going to be your best friend. Switch your directions to transit instead of walking or driving. The apple maps directions will tell you exactly where to go for the train stations, which lines to take, and which direction you need to be heading. There are signs in English in the subway so don't worry about not being able to understand French signs. There are trains right at the airport, and everywhere you will want to go in the city. Its truly amazing and so affordable compared to trying to Uber everywhere. We honestly preferred taking the subway way more than taking Ubers, because traffic in the city is.... Intense, and most of our Uber drivers didn't speak any English. The trains were always much faster and just easier in general.

Now I want to share the things we did that were noteworthy, and that we would recommend to anyone who is coming to Paris for the first time.

1. Eiffel Tower. Just as magical as you would think it would be. Head to the Tracadero across the river Seine to get an amazing view and its a GREAT picture spot. Another amazing picture spot is on the same side of the river as the Eiffel Tower and its a little dead end street with the perfect view of the tower with some French buildings in the line of view as well. 

Heres the address: 228 Rue de l’Universite (the picture below was taken HERE)

2. Versailles. The grandest palace in all of Europe. It is breath taking. Especially if you're a history nerd like me. I got an audio guide so we didn't have to take a tour, and it was perfect. Also highly recommend renting a golf cart to get around the gardens and to see the other buildings and Marie Antoinette’s little village she created. PICTURE SPOTS: Hall of mirrors, Petite Trianon, and the Grand Trianon. Advice for getting pictures here, PATIENCE. Just wait for people to move so you can get cool shots with no one in them.

3. Crazy Horse. Ok this one won't be for everyone, but when I think of Paris I think of burlesque. Crazy Horse was one of the coolest burlesque shows we’ve seen and its a must if you're wanting a sexy night out. ( We preferred this over Moulin Rouge. )

4. MontMarte. MontMarte is the cities highest point. resting on a hill, there's a gorgeous old church, the Sacre Couer. MontMarte is also the cities historic artist district. Artists such as Van Gogh, and Renoir, found inspiration in this quaint part of town. Behind the church is the cutest little area where local artists are still paining city scapes and personal portraits. Seeing this area was a highlight for me. It felt so like what I thought Paris would be like. Good rooftop bar with the view of the city and the Eiffel Tower: Terrass Hotel, the rooftop bar is open to the public, you don't have to be staying at the hotel.

5. Le Marais. This is where you need to go if you're wanting to shop. Clothes, local pastries, apothecaries, you name it this area has it. Our favorite stores were Blue Garage, System Vintage, Luka Luna, 

6. Notre Dame. A Paris staple. Currently closed for renovations but still worth seeing from afar. The streets around the Notre Dame are covered with vintage magazine / book stands. They make for great home decor. Make sure you have euros pulled out though because they don't accept credit cards!

7. Musee d’Orsay. Paris’s second biggest and most famous museum. Is in an old train station which makes for a cool setting for a museum. (See picture below) We liked this museum more than the Louvre...Way less crowded, and more modern artists that we actually knew. Holds famous paintings from Monet, Degas, Renoir, and Van Gogh. Highly recommend grabbing a drink on the 5th floor cafe behind one of the old clocks!

8. The Catacombs. Super interesting walk through some of Paris’s old Limestone quarries that they filled with bones from the cemeteries, when the cemeteries were getting too crowded in the 1700′s. I didn't get any spooky vibes. Just felt like a museum.

9. Palais Garnier. The Opera house in Paris. Reminiscent of Versailles, this grand Opera house is soooo extravagant and gorgeous. The first real Ballets were put on here. How cool is that?

That wraps up the things to see that we loved most. Now lets move on to my favorite part... THE FOOD!

Basically everywhere you look in Paris there are little cafes. Sometimes as many as 4 on a block. Eat at as many of them as you can. They're all pretty incredible. If you're from America and have never traveled to Europe, something to note is that in Europe, slow service is good service. You have to ask for your check. dining out in Europe is an experience and they want you to relax and enjoy your time dining. There is no rush with food there. Its pretty life changing coming from a country where you are accustomed to being in and out of a restaurant within an hour and getting angry if your food hasn't shown up in 15 minutes. 

Things you need to try at any Parisian restaurant: bread, butter, wine, and cheese. They're all usually locally sourced and man let me tell you... It just tastes DIFFERENT over there. The butter is the best butter I’ve ever had. When we got home I legitimately looked up where I can buy French butter here in San Diego... The wine? INSANE. One night I had 6 glasses (which is WAY way way too much for me) and the next morning I didn't wake up with any sort of hangover... I don't know what they're doing in France but wow it is amazing. The cheeses are also wonderful. All so different depending on the restaurant, and all taste soooo much fresher then any cheese I’ve had here in the US. It’s hard to describe. 

Some of our favorite restaurants we came across while we were there:

BREAKFAST / LUNCH-

Any cafe usually has a Croque Monisuer or a Croque Madame which is basically a grilled cheese sandwich with ham and egg, they're amazing and make a great breakfast sandwich. We also ordered Cafe Au Lait’s everywhere we went for breakfast (Coffee with steamed milk.) And croissants are always a good idea.

La Terrasse Des Archives for an amazing avocado toast eggs Benedict

Hollybelly 5 for some americanized / English style breakfasts and some amazing lattes

Hardware Societie for another amazing Americanized / English breakfast

Breakfast in America is a full on American diner in the heart of Paris.

DINNER-

My favorite meals we ate in Paris were our dinners. There is endless amazing food options but here are some of our favorites.

Sacree Fleur did not disappoint. Located in MontMarte, this cozy restaurant will blow you away. We started with the cheese course, wine, and bread. Had steak and mashed potatoes as our main course, which by the way, continues to cook at your table on a hot slab of rock. SO COOL! And we finished with the creme brûlée, which actually made me CRY, it was so good.... (Terrass Hotel is walking distance away, the rooftop bar is open to the public and you get an amazing view of all of Paris including the Effie tower while enjoying some after dinner drinks, and you don't have to be staying at the hotel to enjoy the rooftop bar.)

Le Petit Italien is an amazing option if you're wanting some Italian food in Paris.

Le Sancrerre in MontMarte was another stand out. I got the beef bourguignon and it was incredible.

Chez Janou was also outstanding. Perfect French dishes, great service. Our waiter was actually living in San Diego for awhile before he moved back home to Paris so it was a super random coincidence to eat there and have him as our waiter!

[petitesimss]

Get to Know Me Tag

I was tagged by the beautiful @timouke to do this challenge so here we go I guess?!

Rules: Post a pic of your simself with your traits and answer the questions! :)

My Traits: Clumsy, Goofball, and Genius 

(According to other people, I swear I didn't label myself as a genius! xD)

Really quick I would like to go ahead and tag of my FAV simblrs: @mmfinds @stardustsim @blushchat @brindletonsims @mochieo @awsimmer92 @fussysim @simplistic-sims4 @tainoodles and also anyone who wants to do it!

1. What is your full name? Megan :)

2. What is your nickname? Meg (Omg so basic)

3. When is your birthday? October 7th

4. Favorite book series? ‘ARRY POTTER!

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Uhm not aliens but I think some form of ghosts exist. Not necessarily the scary ones xD

6. Favorite author? John Green

7. Favorite Radio Station? I don’t listen to the radio oof

8. What is your favorite flavor of everything? Chocolate or Strawberry!! Mmmm

9. What word will you often use to describe something great or wonderful? Amazing or just a *gasp* noise

10. What is your current favorite song? Nancy Mulligan by Ed Sheeran

11. Favorite word? oof

12. What was the last song you listened to? Currently listening to Pentatonix’s cover of Hallelujah

13. What TV show do you recommend? I am currently obsessed with Vampire Diaries

14. Favorite movie to watch when you’re upset? Omg this is weird but those classic like 2005 Barbie movies always cheer me up

15. Do you play video games? Not really other than sims ofc :P

16. Biggest Fear? Dark Bathrooms (especially the mirrors, its a long story)

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? My drive to work hard or maybe just my general compassion for everyone

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? LAZINESS

19. Cats or dogs? CATS I HAVE THREE

20. Favorite season? Fall because of sweaters and moderately cool weather

21. Are you in a relationship? Oui!

22. Something you miss from your childhood? Barbie Movies

23. Best friend? My boyfriend xD

24. Eye color? Chocolate brown

25. Hair color? Dark brown, black at the roots

26. Who is someone you love? My mother xD

27. Who is someone you trust? My mother

28. Who is someone you think about often? My boyfriend (These answers are so basic oof)

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? IM SEEING THE CRIMES OF GRINDLEWALD TOMORROW

30. Biggest obsession? Cats

31. Favorite TV show as a kid? Probably I-Carly or Hannah Montana

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? My boyfriend

33. Are you superstitious? Unintentionally yes

34. Any unusual phobias? Dark bathrooms xD

35. In front of the camera or behind it? Both

36. Favorite Hobby? Sims eek

37. Last book your read? Idk why but I stopped reading and so I have no idea

38. Last movie you watched? Not all of it but some of Pitch Perfect (I’ve already seen the whole thing don't worry)

39. Play an instrument? My voice and also a bit of the keyboard

40. Favorite Animal? Cat.

41. Top five tumblr blogs you follow? ALL OF THEM DANG IT

42. What superpower do you wish you had? Flight!

43. Where and when do you feel the most at peace? At home, sleeping in my bed

44. What makes you smile? Literally life

45. What sports do you play, if any? I’ve been in dance for 13 years

46. Favorite drink? Coca-Cola

47. Last time you wrote a handwritten note or letter to someone? This week actually!

48. Afraid of heights? DUH

49. Biggest pet peeve? SLOW WALKERS JUST WALK PLEASE

50. Ever been to a concert? Yep and I’ve been in several local ones

51. Vegan or Vegetarian? Heck no 

52. What did you want to be when you were little? A pop star xD

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? Just. Hogwarts. Always.

54. What is something you worry about? If I am actually liked by people

55. Scared of the dark? Only in bathrooms dude

56. Do you like to sing? YES (Soprano 1 - Mezzo)

57. Ever skipped school? Nope, I’m a good bean

58. Favorite place on the planet? Bed.

59. Where would you like to live? New York or Paris

60. Have any pets? 3 cats (Bella, Possum, and Ty) and also a fish whose name I don't remember

61. Early bird or Night owl? NIGHT OWL

62. Sunrises or Sunsets? I’m gonna go with sunsets

63. Do you know how to drive? I should but I don't xD

64. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds but not the ones you get with an iPhone, those suck!

65. Ever had braces? Three years I think total, and I just had to get a 6 week retainer set to close a small gap that came back :(

66. Favorite genre of music? Pop I guess xD Or musical theater!

67. Who is your hero? My stepdad

68. Do you read comic books? No but my stepdad did xD

69. What makes you the most angry? When people make jokes about things like cancer or diabetes (THEY ARENT FUNNY)

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? Definitely a real book, My eyes don't hurt as much plus they smellll soooo goooodd

71. Favorite Subject? English or Science

72. Any siblings? So this is complicated but I have one half brother, a half-step brother, and a half-step sister

73. The last thing you bought? I bought a journal and some bath salts for my friend’s birthday

74. How tall are you? So I used to be 5′2 but every time I go to the doctor they measure me at like 5′1 and I am confusion

75. Can you cook? Yes but I prefer baking

76. Three things you love? My family, my friends, and food (Omg I typed foot at first EEK)

77. Three things you hate? I LITERALLY DONT HATE ANYTHING IM SORRY

78. Do you have more female friends or male friends? Female oof

79. Sexual orientation? Straight But why did you need to know??

80. Where do you currently live? Louisiana OOOF

81. Last person you texted? My boyfriend, specifically “hehehe yess”

82. Last time you cried? Watching “A Walk to Remember” a few weeks ago

83. Favorite youtuber? All of them, rip

84. Do you like to take selfies? Yes but only because I don't like the pictures other people take of me xD

85. Favorite app? BUZZFEED or maybe netflix

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? I love my mom and we are close but me and my biological dad don't talk

87. Favorite foreign accent? FRENCH OR BRITISH

88. Place you’ve never been to but want to visit? Hawaii or Paris

89. Favorite number? 2 but also literally any even number

90. Can you juggle? Who on here can actually juggle cause I want to be your best friend please (so no)

91. Are you religious? I’m supposed to be catholic but I haven't been to church in a while

92. Is outer space or the deep ocean more interesting? The deep ocean because I want to be a mermaid

93. Do you consider yourself a daredevil? No I am the opposite oof

94. Are you allergic to anything? Cats and dogs, pollen, grass, apparently something in the meningitis vaccine (ITS A LONG STORY)

95. Can you curl your tongue? YOU BET I CAN

96. Can you wiggle your ears? No but I can shake my eyes

97. How often do you admit that you’re wrong about something? I am never wrong, ever.

98. The forest or the beach? The beach cause mermaids

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given to you? Do what you love, don’t work for money.

100. Are you a good liar? I am a TERRIBLE liar

101. Hogwarts house? Gryffindor but my hybrid house is Gryffinpuff soooo...

102. Do you talk to yourself? I used to tbh but now I usually just sing to myself

103. Introvert of Extrovert? Extrovert but I love me time

104. Do you keep a journal/diary? No I just deal with my thoughts

105. Do you believe in second chances? Absolutely

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? Look for identification in it so I can return it to it’s owner

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? Of course!

108 Are you ticklish? VERY

109. Have you ever been on a plane? Yes, I was on one last weekend

110. Any piercings? Only my basic ear piercings

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? Ronald Weasley

112. Any tattoos? No but I wanna get a few small ones later in life

113. Best decision you’ve made in your life so far? Care for others is far more rewarding than wallowing in sadness

114. Do you believe in karma? It depends, really

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? I used to wear glasses but since one of my eyes is near sighted and the other is far sighted they balance each other out enough so that I don’t necessarily need them anymore

116. Do you want children? YES LIKE 3-5

117. Who is the smartest person you know? My stepdad

118. Most embarrassing moment? That time I asked my bestfriend at the time’s sister if I could wear a pad on a water slide (IT WAS MY FIRST PERIOD OKAY?)

119. Ever pulled an all-nighter? I’ve made it to 6 am xD

120. What color are most of your clothes? Yellow or pink :P

121. Do you like adventures? PLANNED adventures, yes

122. Ever been on tv? A few times

123. How old are you? 16

124. Favorite quote? But without the dark, we’d never see the stars

125. Sweet or savory foods? SWEEETTT

OML THIS TOOK FOREVER RIP

[doux-ciel]

Gift Of Life. Hoping for a Miracle

Soundtrack:  🎵 🎵 🎵

Character Aesthetics:  🔥 🔥 🔥

Tagged: @youngdumbxlit @cvlms @jess---writes @jadeswritinggarden @bambimattel @requiemdelune @blackandwhitesunsets @bzrtales @viviscreams @thewriterkatie @erinisawriter @seraphilth @godxblooded

*Im going to have a link to my post in which it asks if you want to be tagged in my WIP’S* 

If so click here ->  ✨ ✨ ✨

|Trigger Warning|  Book does contain talk of death, Depression, Eating Disorders, Angst, Emotionally heavy topics. 

⚠⚠ YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!! ⚠⚠

“Mom why is the sky blue?”

I reply to my curious 8 year old daughter who was laying in the frosty grass of my backyard; her striped rainbow hat had fallen beside her face. “I don't know”

“Mom why is the grass green?” She asks as she plucks a blade of grass, her fingers melting the icy substance.

She never runs out of questions to ask. I place my book down on the end table that was near the patio chair. “I don't know sweetie”

“Mom why can't I have a sister or a brother?”

“That I definitely don't know” I chuckle a little while bringing my hot tea to my lips, taking a sip. Counting the calories in my head, I close my eyes just for a moment to enjoy this feeling; knowing soon it would be over. I place my mug down focusing my attention on my 4’1 fair skinned daughter who had jumped up from the icy ground and ran over to me. “You don't love all the attention I’m giving you?”

While in my arms she answered. “Attention is for animals at the zoo, Lindsey at school her mom just had a baby…..I want a baby too”

I take my cold hands placing them on her rosy cheeks, bringing her face closer to mines giving each other Eskimo kisses. “I do too darling” She giggles and backs away from me, taking a seat next to me on the patio chair. She grabs her mug, bringing the now cool hot chocolate to her lips.

We both turn our heads over to the fence that encompasses our backyard when we hear a familiar voice. My mother-in-laws voice fills my ears; Natasia holds her hands out and crouches down to be at the same level with Adalynn who was currently running to her grandmother. “Hey there's my little sweet cake”

“Grandma!!” Adalynn exclaims, her short arms wrap around the elderly woman’s neck.

Natasia lifts up Adalynn while picking up her scarf that had fallen from their previous encounter. “Are you ready for ice skating today?”

Adalynn nods, now placing her head on Natasia’s neck. “Yes I'm ready”

I see Natasia’s eyes shift over to me, she has a look of disapproval. I then see her nutmeg colored eyes observe Adalynn’s attire, seeing as how she is in her knit grey leggings, a yellow coat and her uggs. Basically what Natasia is saying that she is not in her practice uniform. Lowering my head as my red hair falls into my face. I then reach up to where my book lay grabbing it, the title read Bound Before The Morrow. “Well you don't look ready? Where's your skates and your gloves?”

Natasia sets Adalynn down on the ground, “There in the library, I have to go find them!! Can you help?”

Natasia grabs Adalynn’s hand, they both start their trek to my home library. As they walk past me, Natasia places her hand on my shoulder squeezing her nails which are digging into my skin. “Off to the library we go!!”

I flinch a little, waiting for the pain to subside my mind would often think about having more children. Giving my husband a boy or another girl, giving Adalynn someone to play with, giving her someone to grow up with.

I want to have a real family.

Speaking of my husband I see his name pop up on my phone screen, his profile picture is of him when we were on our vacation to the Maldives. I immediately answer; putting the book in my hand down. I bring my Iphone XIX up to my ear, I hear his low-toned voice which makes me smile.

“Hey my love”

I rise up from the patio chair, grabbing my now empty mug and Adalynn’s half full mug; gathering the piece of literature. While balancing my phone in between my shoulder and ear; I walk into the kitchen which was seconds away from my backdoor.���Hi Nathaniel, I can't wait for you to come home” Placing the mugs in the warm soapy water, and with my other hand I place the book down on my gray marble counter tops.

Nathaniel sighs, I know he has had a ton of meetings today, he must be exhausted. “I can't wait to come home either...I'm so ready to-”

“Get in bed?” I ask.

“Yes definitely” He answers.

“And doing what in bed?” I ask, as I take off my jacket my hands brush against my nipples which were now erect from just the sound of his voice. I knew I needed him in me now.

“Sleeping, I'm so drained from today's meetings”  I roll my eyes as I rest my elbows by the edge of the sink.

Turning on the faucet, letting the cold water run and scooping some up with my free hand; splashing it on my face. I know my face was red like a strawberry as I blushed with embarrassment. “Well I'm ovulating and I just thought-”

Nathaniel quickly apologizes “I'm so sorry…..your right, but wait don't you have that appointment today? To check to see if everything is working properly?”

That last comment caught me off guard, I scoff shutting the water off, my voice gets higher with every word. “Are you trying to say something Nathaniel?”

“What are you talking about?” Nathaniel asks, his voice getting defense.

“Are you calling me defected or something?”

I don’t hear anything on the other end for a good 30 seconds before I hear his usual blunt voice louder than normal. “Look I never said that...I'm just saying we have been trying for a couple of months now and nothing is happening”

I was getting agitated by the minute, and to think I was happy when he first called me just ten minutes earlier. “Yeah well maybe there's something wrong with you? Did you ever think about that?!”

He clears throat his voice is clear and firm, “Charlotte just go to the doctor and listen to what they are saying...they know what they are doing, just let them figure this out.”

I take a deep breath, practicing the exercises my therapist taught me when I’m feeling stressed. My words come out in a more calm tone. “I know it's just hard not knowing”

I can tell he was smiling through the phone, “Hey your still perfect to me” He softly says to me.

I roll my eyes while walking over to the living room placing my butt on the cushion first while letting gravity lead the rest of my body to fall. I snicker, “You've gotten better at dodging the situation.”

I then earn a chuckle from my husband, “I just try not to think about it...so are you finishing up your book?”

I examine a piece of loose cloth on my sweater while thinking about my newest romance novel, that I still have yet to complete. “Yeah, Bloomsbury said I have to turn it in by next week so I'll be cramming in the last few chapters like every night”

“You can do it” I appreciate the encouraging words from him but I already know he isn’t that interested in my writing. He barely wants to hear my ideas when its just us two together in the office sometimes. I know I supported him when he was starting up his computer software company, but its like he can’t give me that type of support. I already hear it from his mother everyday about how I’m not contributing to the household and how my job isn’t ideal for our lifestyle but I think Nathaniel and I are well off. Sometimes too well off, but I’m grateful for the life my husband has provided for me and I wouldn’t ever want to change it.

“Thank you” I reply.

He was now sounding concerned, “Did you eat today?”

I look over at the breakfast he made me this morning, some pancakes, eggs, with some sausage and a glass of orange juice. I can feel the plate staring at me; taunting me almost.

I lie. “Yes why?”

“You know how you get Charlotte” His voice changes to a more cheery tone. “How's my little blessing doing? Does she miss papa?”

A smile appears on my face thinking about how close they have gotten over the years. Old memories flood in when we first brought her home with us, when she wouldn’t let anybody else hug her but Nathaniel. That little girl has brought so much life to both of our lives. “She sure does”

“I want to talk to her”

My eyes search around the room until I hear Adalynn’s whines coming from the bathroom upstairs, I’m thinking Natasia is trying to do her hair. Its safe to say Adalynn despises getting her hair touched at all, if it weren’t for me doing her hair at night while she was asleep her hair would look like a birds nest. “She's getting ready for ice skating lessons”

I hear some shuffling of some papers on the other end of the line. “Who's taking her?”

“Well your mother of course” I answer matter of factly.

“Is Wallace going with her?” he asks referring to Natasia’s life partner as she likes to call. I just think she didn't want to date someone who was halfway to their deathbed.

I shake my head, trying to remember the man's work hours, “No I don't think so, why would he go with her?”

He clicks his tongue, he voice is now showing a hint of annoyance, “He follows my mom everywhere when he's not at work, he's like a lost puppy looking for a bone”

I try and reason with him, in no way am I condoning this relationship but its his mother's life. “He likes her company, I mean they are together”

I can see his face now, he probably has his head buried in his hands, the vein on his forehead is probably protruding. His voice sharp on the subject at hand. “I don't even know why mom would get with that bast-”

“Hey, just calm down...now it's been years since your father died Nathaniel, I think she felt it was time for her to move on” I bring my hand up to my face sliding it across from my eyebrows to my right cheek. Slightly annoyed by his whole tone changing just by the sound of a another mans name. If I being honest I think Nathaniel just doesn’t want his mother to be happy with anyone else.

“With a guy 30 years younger than her?”

“Love is love”

I hear a foreign voice on his end of the line call out to him, he pauses for minute listening to what the person had to say. He grumbles profanities before saying, “Anyways I have to go, tell Adalynn I said good luck at practice today, and for you good luck with the appointment.”

I place my hand on my stomach, sending a little prayer up to the universe asking to help me. “Love you”

“Love you to pieces.” He replies back, I then hear the three beeps letting me know the call has ended.

I bring my feet down to the multicolored carpet that lay in my very moody/dark living room. Walking over to the kitchen where my plate of food lay, I look at how the syrup has settled into the fried flour. How the eggs have melted cheese in them, and how the sausage is glistening with the fatty oils that came from the pan.

It makes me sick to even think about.

Without hesitation I place the food in the garbage can, while taking a few minutes of my time to tidy up the kitchen.

Just after I had finished putting all the wet dishes on the drying rack; I see my phone buzz. I see the notification from an unknown number. I tap the message, reading the screen over and over hoping it would change. Hoping she would somehow disappear from my life forever.

¤ ¤ ¤

While Natasia was taking Adalynn to practice I had to catch my appointment with Dr. Stone. She has been my doctor for years, even before I wanted to have children. I was sitting in her office waiting for her to come back with my test results we had previously did in the summer, approximately about 2 months before today’s date. Her mahogany tinted skin came into view, her eyes were looking down at my folder, she didn’t express any emotion at all. Sitting down across from me; her silver and glass office desk is the only barrier between us two. “Nothing is 100% set in stone but things aren't looking good Charlotte...the tests came back, we already know that you had some problems in your past.”

I purse my lips, crossing my arms over my body, “Problems that I'm trying to fix.”

She sets my folder aside, she swallows her lips; looking me in my eyes she asks. “Have you been making yourself-”

Why won’t she let this subject go? Can’t she see that I’m trying to do better for not only my health but the health of my womb. I notice my right eye start to twitch while my left leg start to move side to side. “No...I told you I'm trying to fix things”

Pursing her own plump lips she looks at my body language, her eyes focus back on her desk. “I know I'm just making sure”

I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding in. I’m starting to get anxious about the silence in the room, with only the clock ticking. I straighten up in the chair I’m currently sitting in; peering over to look at my folder I try and make out what all of this means. Placing my chewed fingernails on the edge of the desk I ask,  “Ok so what is it?”

Her eyes meet mines, a warm smile appears on her face making me feel much better about my current condition, but boy was I wrong. “You seem to be ovulating regularly but we are not in the safe zone, with the things your body has been through with your other miscarriages plus your eating disorder I don't know if your even going to able to carry another baby full term.”

That isn’t what I wanted to hear at all.I sit back in my chair, placing my index finger on my temple and my thumb on my cheekbone, my voice is now grim “Do you think I’ll ever be able to experience motherhood to the full extent?”

“Charlotte you’re already a mother” Dr. Stone reassures me, reaching her hand across the desk; motioning her fingers telling me to grab a hold of her hand for comfort. Even though it seems sometimes she has a stone heart, it feels like something or someone is always chipping away at it. Never married, no children, her life seems more miserable than mines. But she had told me previously she lives a happy and well content life, a life that is worth living.

Grabbing onto her hand I feel my nose get hot, my top lip starts to quiver, I can feel myself start to crumble in front of her. “Yes I know that but, experiencing the baby kick and the belly…..the maternity clothes” My head lowers having my thick head of hair conceal my face, I notice the tears falling down like raindrops onto her desk. I repeatedly apologize, while taking my sweater and trying my best to wipe it away.

Dr. Stone squeezes my hand and in a soft but comforting voice she says, “Charlotte look….I know it’s hard. But you have to realize there are other options for you….you could try adopting”

I shake my head, quickly retracting my hand back away from hers; I take the sleeve of my sweater to wipe my face. Again that’s not what I was wanting to hear, maybe it was childish of me to not face reality but I wasn’t in the right mental space to accept that something is really wrong with me. I rise up from my seated position, “Are we done here?”

I could see Dr. Stone was taken aback by my actions just a few seconds prior, but that didn't; stop her from containing a level of professionalism. She grabs a pen from inside her desk, “Yes, just let me sign your paperwork and give you your prescription.”

When I walk into the lobby of the clinic I wait in line for my name to be called to set up another appointment with Dr. Stone in the next couple of months. As I’m waiting I see a woman who looks middle aged, carrying a small infant. I peer down, her saddle brown diaper bag and I see a large text book, in which it read: The Visual Display of Quantitative Information. It looks as though she is getting her Ph.D. I then settle my eyes on the warm olive toned baby. The baby could be 5 months...6? I focus my attention back on the mother, I wonder how life for her is like, is it hard? Trying to be in school while also raising a child? I wonder if she too had complications conceiving and suddenly she fell pregnant? Or If she’s just fertile and has 6 kids at home, either way I'm jealous.

Why can’t I just conceive? I can feel the tears coming, I start to sniffle the mucus that was wanting to run all down my nose. A kind young woman noticing me grabs me some tissue from her purse, I gladly took them. After a short while of being in my own head my name finally got called.

I had just gotten in my 2026 Honda C-RV, with my seat belt on but; I didn’t put my left foot on the brake to push the button to start the car. Instead I turn my back to look at the 2nd row of my sports utility vehicle; looking at the back two seats. Seeing Adalynn’s booster seat brings back memories of when Nathaniel and I first brought it. The countless questions he would ask when she first started riding with us.

“Are you comfortable Adalynn?”

“Is it too high Adalynn?”

I then remember just a short time after she had gotten comfortable with us, Nathaniel and I were taking a trip to the market. Adalynn was in a deep slumber, we could see her lips slightly parted hearing her small snores.

In the driver's seat, he takes his seat belt off turning to me while I was trying to get the shopping list together, “You think you want another?”

I mush my eyebrows together confused as to what he was asking me. “Another child?”

He nods, grabbing my hand, “Of course another child...but this time I want you to carry mines”

I look away not wanting to discourage him but I know with the previous miscarriages it would be damn near impossible.

As my electric blue eyes scan the outside world, bringing me back to the present.

 Through my back window I notice a butterfly; swiftly moving against the wind its beautiful and articulate details to its wings had me memorized. The way tiny insect was able to push through and keep on going.

Butterflies mean hope, it could mean something else to others but to me it means I have to to keep hope alive, I can’t give up. In the back of my mind I knew I couldn’t bring myself to arrive home and present my husband with horrible news.

Not again at least.

I wanted to give him another child but I needed to weigh my options again, I needed to make a decision on what I was going to do. To have that hope that I had a few minutes ago; I decide to call the only person I know who could help me in this situation. Pressing my left foot on the brake I push the button to start my vehicle. 

Taking my phone and grabbing my charger cord connecting it to car; I press the third contact number down. After hearing the 4th ring she finally answers, Her honeyed voice fills up my car. “Hi”

I look in the rear view mirror waiting to see if any cars were coming behind me. When I don't see anyone I proceed to change my gear to reverse, “How are you doing? Mother”

Natasia answers, “I'm doing well your little firecracker is keeping me on my toes, I can't wait for another.”

My foot presses on the break suddenly my body jerks forwards. Taking a couple of shallow breaths I look back in my rear view mirror seeing a car almost run into me. I take my hand putting it up; mouthing the words ‘I'm sorry’ to the husband who is currently trying to get his wife into clinic that I was just coming out of. I clear my throat, “I don't think that's going to happen”

“What? What do you mean?”

As I turn out the parking lot and onto the main road I press the button to let the seat heaters turn on, I turn the volume up a bit higher. “The doctor told me that she doesn't think I'm able to carry a baby to full term”

Natasia scoffs, “Oh that's preposterous! That's just not true”  I hear Adalynn in the background naming her favorite animals.

Stopping at the red light I raise my eyebrows while nodding my head, “I'm telling you...it is”

I hear her voice get quiet, “What about adoption?”

I press the gas pedal when the light turns green, my car hits a pothole in the road sending me and my car up off the asphalt for a second. I twist my lips, “Adoption again? We had to wait years to get Adalynn and I don't think I can't wait that long again...we just got her three years ago, I want a baby. A baby that I can hold and nurture, a baby that knows I'm its mommy.”

“Well you know Rachel?” Natasia asks me.

I remember fondly of the now mother 5, her husband was a aerospace engineer while she was a real estate agent. Her eldest Destiny would play with Adalynn sometimes after school. “Yeah the one that had the triplets last fall?”

“Yeah her..well she was infertile and she got some help.”

Now I’m intrigued I always thought she had the triplets naturally, although I was a little skeptical on why she would always be in her minivan covering her stomach while picking up her girls. “Help? What do you mean?”

“I mean she hired a surrogate”

I was astonished, I didn’t know how to react. I turn on the corner of Layfette and Wilbur Road. “Is that illegal?”

Natasia chuckles, “Oh no darling never...I'll tell you what? I'll set you up an appointment at the place, it's called Gifting Miracles”

Thinking about what she was saying still in my heart I thought about that butterfly. I still want to keep trying but maybe sitting back and letting someone else do the work for me isn't so bad right?

I mean the saying goes mom knows best.

I smooth out my tan slacks and button the top of my jade green blouse, walking into the Ice Skating Rink for my interview. As I enter I’m greeted with a plethora of hellos and good afternoons from the parents waiting for their children to go onto the ice. I see to my left and right a sitting area, most of the kids are in their long sleeved shirts either playing with one another or on a tablet.

I look straight ahead from the front door I see the ice rink, a coltish young brunette haired woman shouts out to the kids that were currently on the ice. All the girls huddle around to watch as she brings her right hand around her body; her arms moving slowly. “Ok girls now we are going to bring our right hand around and start slowly skating backwards”

I then get interrupted by my name being called. “Yesenia Cervantes?”

Not knowing where the sound came from I turn my head to my right, I don’t see anything but a coffee stand. When I turn to my left, in the farther left hand side of the room I see an elderly woman. Looking to be late 60’s her dainty body walks over to me, giving me a grin. I put my hand out to shake hers, “I called earlier asking about any volunteer opportunities and a lady named Harlow on the phone said I should come in person to speak with someone”

I can see everyone turning to look at me, the mothers in the lobby whisper to themselves, probably wondering how a woman of my ethnicity can skate on the ice. She motions me with her hands to follow her in the clear glass office space.  “Well that’s my assistant but she’s not in right now but I'm happy you stopped by...I'm Daisy”

After we got settled into our seats, I quickly put my phone on silent. Ms. Daisy is sitting in the cherry red office chair reading my references out loud, she pauses when she gets to my education. She purses her lips, “So what college?” she asks as she reaches on her desk for her reading glasses, placing them on her face.

I proudly say, “University Of Wisconsin-Madison...Junior”

She nods while placing my information down she grabs a manila folder from her filing cabinet, licking her finger to separate the pages sitting back down. “Ok, well I'm just going to ask you a few questions-”

We both get interrupted by a freckled face red head child, her hair in a really neat bun. She runs to the desk where me and the older woman sat, placing her arms around the woman. “Ms. Daisy!!”

Ms. Daisy’s eyes light up when she sees the tiny human cling onto her scrawny limb.“Oh hey Adalynn!! How are you doing today?”

The young child with 2 teeth missing on the bottom row of her mouth showed a toothy grin. “I doing spec….spec-”

I finish her sentence, “Spectacular?”

Adalynn and her beautiful tawny brown eyes had to suppress the anger she had with a huff, her tiny lips form a pout as she points her index finger at me. “She wouldn’t let me finish but that’s what I was gonna say”

Again we were interrupted by an elderly woman, her jet black hair was slicked back into a tight bun just like the little girl who ran in here 3 minutes ago. Unbidden, her gaze rose to the scene before her, staring at me. Her face contorted into a mask of hatred as her lips formed a straight line. She slowly shifts her eyes glaring at Adalynn, “Adalynn you know you shouldn't be going in people's offices unannounced...oh I'm sorry were we interrupting something?”

“Well I'm with a potential volunteer” I explained.

“Oh you skate?” She questions, raising her eyebrow. Bending down to Adalynn’s level she whispers something in her ear. Whatever it was; she must’ve been wanting to punish the child because a few seconds later Adalynn was away from Ms. Daisy and her desk.

I nod my head, straightening up in my seat. “Yes ma’am I do”

Ms. Daisy then interrupts, “How many years?”

“4” I reply back, I think about all of the medals I have won over the years of skating. My mother taught me to love the ice when I was a little girl, I would spend hours outside. I would be standing at the bus stop waiting for the school bus when me and a couple of the other kids would use our shoes as ice skates just sliding around on the street. She spent her whole paycheck just to get me ice skates, it was because of her pushing me to do something I loved; I continued to pursue it throughout the years.

“Oh...wow that's a long time” Natasia stammered, blinking a few times and giving me a forced smile. She reaches for the child’s hand; once their hands were connected, her feet turn to the exit bringing Adalynn with her. “Come Adalynn we need to get you stretched and ready for your lesson”

Adalynn, who was currently trying to keep up with the pace of her grandmother  turns her head and waves at Ms. Daisy. “Bye!!”

Ms. Daisy stands up and walks back over to the office door closing it, while walking back to her desk she shakes her head. Her eyes closed briefly as she whispers something to herself. She then looks in my direction. “Sorry we were interrupted….so you said 4 years?”

I nod “Yes that’s right”

“So about your previous experience…”

My mind goes elsewhere as I bite the inside of my cheek hoping this interview would soon be over but I could tell she was just getting started. I look up at the clock as I see the minute hand moving slowly around the case and past the various numbers.

This is going to be a long interview.

¤ ¤ ¤

Walking past the various buildings where all of the current students at UW were attending, I venture on to the common grounds of my campus. Spotting my group of friends who were currently stuffing their faces with the food from the cafe. The cold crisp air fills my lungs as I walk over to them.

Henry with his cigarette resting on his ear was going on one of his rants as usual, I give him a nod as I walk up to them taking a seat next to Nova. “Hanging out is dating, that's what dating is now”

My other friend Obasi chuckles, his eyes green like an emerald peered over at Nova. “Dating is sweat palms, hot thighs”

Violet who was currently eating a chicken salad, rolls her eyes at the two men. “You guys are crazy”

Henry continues “Couples are a dead concept, all meaningful social interactions are meaningful in a group” While fishing in his pocket for his lighter, Nova stood up grabbing it off the the icy ground where it lay for probably the whole time they were out here. She uses her thumb to roll the metal spark wheel; a flame rises up from the black lighter.

“Your always dropping that damn thing” She grumbles.

Kissing his teeth he grabs the cigarette behind his ear, putting the piece of tobacco up close to the flame. “Yesenia you think this is a date?”

I chuckle, seeing there was no money in my wallet I look over at the cafe and turn back around to face him. “You paying for my lunch?”

Exhaling the smoke he winks, placing his right hand on my thigh. “I don't know….am I gonna score later?”

I start to laugh out loud while pushing his hands which were covered in paint away from my leg. “What? This is only our first date!”

With the snow cleared from the sidewalk thanks to the city of Madison. Wesley and his hover board came rushing in, he was coming pretty fast and he lost his balance, his books/papers flew everywhere. After laying in the snow laughing at himself he jumps up, his knees now wet with snow from the fall. Nova and I help gather all of his papers as he grabs peanut butter crackers from an picnic table which happens to be near us, tearing the snack open he stuffs 2 crackers in his mouth,  “Don't you just love college...free friends...free food, hell you even get a bed and all you have to do is go to a couple of classes and do some papers”

Violet while chipping at her nail polish gives Wesley a thumbs up, “It looks like your financial aid went through”

Giving Obasi a high-five he grabs his books from off the ground and sets them on table. “Damn right it did, full-ride baby”

This caught my attention, I never got a letter in mail about anything dealing with my financial aid yet. “Wait did everyone get theirs?”

I notice everyone’s eyes are on me, they all look dumbfounded by my comment, Nova speaks up, “Of course...papers went out like 2 weeks ago”

I let out a huff while reaching in my bag to get my phone out I start to text my mom to find out if there was anything in the mail for me. “What?”

 Placing my free hand on my forehead I tuck my hair behind my ear, pinching my eyes shut. I know I filled the application out 1 month ago, I then start to get irritated with that fact that my mother wasn't replying fast enough. I go to my student email account not seeing any new messages I decide to find out what happening for myself. I know the financial office is still open, I tell everyone a quick goodbye when I sprint towards the building.

Once inside I’m met with a student who was working at the front desk, she told me to fill out the sign in sheet and wait for my name to be called. It was a numerous amount of people sitting or standing in the waiting room to also be called. I see a woman who looks middle aged, carrying a small infant in her lap. I smile at the tiny human, admiring its hazel eyes; the child babbles at me while reaching its hand out.

After about a hour of waiting and the room is damn near empty I hear my name be called. Looking up I see my financial adviser, we walk to his office and when he shuts the door he explains to me about how his office never received my application.

I place both hands on the desk gripping the sides while glaring down at him, “You can't just stop my aid, I'm graduating next year!”

“I'm sorry-”

I slam my hands on the desk, “You need to give me my money!! I'm not going to just sit here and let this happen to me just because some stupid idiot lost my application”

Shaking his head does his best to calm me down, grabbing me a water bottle from his mini fridge. Turning around to his filing cabinet he looks for my name but doesn't see anything, As he turns back around and faces me, his mouth curves into a frown.  “Listen Yesenia I'm sure this will all work out the way it should...there must be some other way that you can pay for school”

I scoff taking a deep breath in and back out, taking my phone back out I start to check my messages I say lowly to myself, “Yeah right….only a miracle could make that happen.”

¤ ¤ ¤

I was placing the acrylic fake nail on my middle finger when I hear running from the outside of my dorm room door. I hear the little beep that occurs when someone is coming in. My hair in a messy ponytail I could feel a few tendrils that don't want to stay put fall onto my shoulders.

“I got a 911, girl what is going on?” Nova came running towards me, the her ROTC uniform still on.

I continued to press the fake nail on top of mine, with a frown etched on my face. “I might not be here for graduation”

Nova who took off her cover placing it on her side of the room walks back over to me, resting her chin on my head she asks, “What? Why?”

“My financial aid didn't kick in” I look up at her, almost on the verge of tears. “Now I have no idea how to pay for school”

“Eggs” Nova answered bluntly.

I take my right hand wiping away a non-existent tear, I sniffle a little before repeating what she just said to me. “Eggs?”

She nods taking her hand and placing it near my stomach, motioning around my lower half, “Yes like your eggs”

Now I understand what she’s talking about but I thought that was just myth. I press the acrylic nail hard on my nail making sure it's secure, I turn around in my swivel chair away from my desk. Quipped a brow as I look up at Nova, “People pay money for other people's eggs?”

Nova, stepping back from me; grips the edge of the chair rolling her neck replies, “Hell yeah…do you know how many people want babies?”

“So you basically sold kids?”

“Yesenia it's not human trafficking, they are just eggs” She continues. “The money is good plus the feeling you get after looking at the parents faces well that's even better

“Do you know a place?” I ask, I start to paint my nails.

“Yeah I do, but you could also do the other thing…” She trails off while walking into our bathroom I see her grabbing a few makeup remover wipes.

That grabs my attention,“What other thing?”

“Surrogacy”

I turn up my nose, “Like carrying someone else's baby?”

Nova walking out the bathroom changing out of her uniform, “You make more money doing that.”

I mumble while placing the nail polish brush back into the bottle, “I'll think about it”

Nova turns to me, “But if you want to know the place is called Gifting Miracles”

“Thanks” I rise up from the chair, my wet nail polish still on my hands I give Nova a quick air hug.

Rubbing my arm she offered a radiant smile, “Hey you know I got you girl”

Maybe carrying a baby wouldn't be so bad.

A/N: I know this was a really long first chapter but I just wanted this first chapter to be very informative on my different characters. I don’t exactly know when the next chapter of this will be up but I appreciate if ya’ll would be patient with me. Also Happy New year my lovely angels!!! I know 2019 will be filled with happiness and more opportunities coming your way!

[attract-mode-collective]

"weLCUM to the motherfucking Queer matrixXx"

In part 1 of my recap of stuff tweeted during the later half of May, over at @AttractMode, I mentioned that one thing that kept me awfully busy… hence the backlog and two-part recap for Tumblr & Medium… was Death By Audio Arcade X Dreamhouse II.

The proper/full name of the soiree was Ova the Rainbow: DreamBoxXx, which is where most of these photos were taken, with a few from Death By Audio Arcade X Dreamhouse I; the photographer on the behalf of Gothamist was there for both opening & closing parties, to help add color to their story...

... BTW, the arcade will open one last time, this Friday (June 8th). Doors open at 7!

And as for the rest of last month... well... back to the subject of arcades for a sec; it’s a dream of many to have the full experience at home, though space is obviously the primary issue. Thankfully you (or your Lego minifigs to be exact) have options (via @ActionFigured)...

This Blast City shirt was designed on a CRT monitor, making it extra legit (no word if it was in TATE orientation tho; via theyetee.com)...

I basically know nothing about Avail, though appears to be a Target or H&M-like retail entity for Japan? Well recently they had a Gradius shirt for sale, but I missed my chance to save a copy of the PDF circular from which it made its seemingly sole appearance.

Hence why I had resort to blowing up this screencap (via miki800.com)...

There's actually a 2nd Gradius tee, and we thankfully have a far better look at it this time (via miki800.com)…

... I almost have to wonder if the 1st one was a mock-up or placeholder or something, cuz I seriously cannot find an image of it anywhere.

Few things get me as giddy as a nice 180 camera turn around with sprites (via segacity)...

And 3D turnarounds of polygonal characters are cool, provided that they’re watercolored (via typhlosionofficial)...

Same (via @BauceSauce)...

Sorry, but the sight of shelf after shelf, all bucking under the massive weight of countless carts & discs, is an eyesore IMHO. Instead, a modest pile of software with plenty of breathing room work best for me (via sixteen-bit)...

Such a beautifully personalized iPhone is essentially an iPhone for life (via miki800)...

A (video game) toy chest… a (video game) treasure chest… basically both? (via miki800)...

Remember hearing about Street Fighter 2 X Transformers? Well, they're finally here (via tfw2005.com)...

To be honest I have enough toys. Whereas I could always use more storage! Hence my interest in these SF2 USB sticks. But I can’t decide which World Warrior I want to see in such sad shape all the (via miki800.com)...

Time for another crossover, specifically Virtual On X bunny girls; a custom model kit of Angelan (via shop2000.com)...

A look at all the Tokyo Game Show poster girls since 2010 (via videogamesdensetsu)...

The first Famciase of 2018 to get my attention now has a fake ad to go with the fake game (via pepesalot)...

I'm 99.99% confident that this gaming set up/living quarters (via @miaumiauzmiau)...

... belongs to Polylina, aka Poririna, aka SEGA SATURN GAL (via this old post from a few years back)...

Note the similar pink curtains...

Who wears their Space Invaders shirt better? This guy (via shmups)…

Or this gal (via thesensualeye)...

The chairs for Space Invaders Frenzy has seen some serious shit (via oh-log-n)...

It’s a Space Invaders bathroom cuz why not (via it8bit)...

Nothing illustrates the harsh game making environment better than this one dev’s cardboard facade, underneath his desk, to emulate home (via videogamesdensetsu)...

Kitchen pantry cat’s prices are way better than bedroom closet cat’s (via @tatuya01)...

Memorial Day took place near the end of May, naturally, which meant another opportunity to repost my fave video starring the greatest soldier of the 20th century (via this other old post from years ago)...

Memorial Day weekend was also when I decided to post a bunch of YouTube vids; remember that one explaining why wiggling Sonic 3D Blast for the Genesis produces a level select? Did you also remember to subscribe to the channel? If so, you’d already know how Sonic R did transparencies on the Saturn...

Do you like Famiclones? Do you like Jackie Chan? Then you might like...

... I ended up going down a Jackie Chan rabbit hole, which resulted in a high-quality version of the infamous soundtrack to Hong Kong 97. Which in turn led to the discovery that the loop is actually a small portion of a full-length song entitled "I Love Beijing Tiananmen".

Sorry to ask everyone to click out, but I have a limit on how many videos I can embed in a single post and all.

Come to see what NES game Bithead1000 broke the bank on, stay to hear him bitch about Trapper Keepers...

Spoilers: it was Metal Storm, and can you believe that it managed to grace the cover of Nintendo Power? Not complaining of, more impressed than anything else (via shmups)...

Time for some bonus Bithead1000, which I’m not posting cuz of the aforementioned technical limitation, plus it has nothing to do with games anyway: hearing him talk about old school rap made my Memorial Day and hopefully it'll make yours, no matter what date it is.

Yet another video I must abstain from embedding is Johnny Cage performs 4'33". Hopefully all of you fans of Mortal Kombat/experimental compositions/shitty webtoons do not feel slighted (via roman55)...

Another look at the “New Aero City” stick, this time with the intended color scheme of yellow for both the balltop & buttons (last time they were red, as seen here; via hibachicandy)...

It’s the guy made Metal Gear and the guy who made Kong: Skull Island, playing Xevious & Ikaruga (via xtheo.ca)...

The beginning of the ultimate road trip (via lazywaifus)...

Like many others, I spent an entire morning pouring over that epic game collection before it was set to be auctioned off at the end of the month; my wish list included a SuperGrafx, TurboDuo, CD-i, Nuon, and Donkey Kong for the OG GB sealed… (via bodnarsauction.com)...

Alas, I couldn’t make the trip to Edison, NJ for the auction. Thankfully, @textfiles could; be sure to check all the photos he posted on May 31 for all that he saw...

Am surprised it took this long to see something like this (via @gamesyouloved)...

… The same source also posted this Sonic gif; I’ve looked everywhere for the source but zero luck… can anyone point me in the right direction?

Back to the aforementioned auction, or should I say the mass acquisition of old games; it’s always been a secret plan to collect a bunch of Super FX carts in order to extract the chips, for... something? (via pixelpolygon)

Thought check out what the Mega Drive/Genesis can do without the help of any fancy chips (via vidgam)...

...BTW, am aware of the fact that equally amazing programmers can probably push the SNES in crazy ways if given chance.

Am also familiar with the SVP or Sega Virtua Processor that drove the 16-bit version of Virtua Racing (which I enjoy better than the 32X version).

Re: the auction one last time: so the real reason why I didn't bother with making that trip to Jersey? There wasn't a Divers 2000 CX-1 on-hand (via anthony10000000)...

Here’s someone really enjoying a game of Zaxxon (via arcadezen)...

And someone... well... maybe enjoying a game of Polybius? (via dualvoidanima)

Okay, so this gif ain’t related to video games per say, yet this came up in a Tumblr that I frequent for super cool shit, plus the music video it’s from is neat, so there ya go (via mendelpalace)...

Speaking of sources for content, worlds collided with the surprise appearance of Just One Boss (which I first encountered at Death By Audio Arcade's Lo-Fi Game Night several months back) at obscurevideogames...

Worlds continued to collide with the surprise appearance of Attract Mode's Dark Souls print by Judson Cowan, in a recent article in Kotaku on the subject of Dark Souls Remastered...

One last last thing: I’ve long considered Suzuki Bakuhatsu to be THE game that best represents the Attract Mode a e s t h e t i c & I’m super happy that the RetroPals finally got around to playing it...

[seynabri]

Tokyo in Tulsa 2018

It is time for the story of Tokyo in Tulsa 2018. It all starts on a Wednesday....

Wednesday

The Wednesday was where all the craziness started. Being newly married and living in a house I was the one whose place was best suited for everyone staying over before leaving the next day. So that meant my brother, Kelsey, and Dani sleeping at my place. But wait! There's more! Skyler and Erin decided the drive from Minnesota to Tulsa was not something they wanted to do again. So they drove down to Omaha on Wednesday as well. To also stay with me! Full house!

So fun story about the korok costumes. While I went to church that night Dani and Kelsey went outside and spray painted the three of them and left them laying on the lawn. When you drive into our neighborhood toward our house there’s a part of the street where you can see our backyard. I look over. What are those colorful things on our lawn??? Those skiiiiins???

Well Dani came over first and we spent the day working on cosplay. Since you know... we're so great at getting things done on time. Kelsey came over a little later and... worked on cosplay. Then I had to leave for a bit. But then I came back and Brock arrived and we ate dinner and... worked on cosplay. Until eventually Dani and were like. Okay. We HAVE to get the skit audio recorded. Because it's not just cosplay that we do last minute.

Enter. The Husband. Remember the mention of newly married? Said husband has a little mini studio. Recording equipment. Instruments. Recording software. Clearly I married him so our skit audio could be better than previous years. (Like the time we used the mic on a pair of iphone earbuds in the hotel room closet. Good times.) So he got that all set up. And we proceeded to take several hours to record a 3 minute skit...

It was just so scary! Dani and I, two can't get any whiter girls, trying to rap the Zelda/Hamilton parody we had written. But honestly. The rapping wasn't the worst. It was when we got to the singing. No one in our group could get past the auditions on American Idol. Let's just say that. But being the least worst I got stuck with the singing. Which was... super fun. I maybe cringe a bit every time I hear the audio. But that could just be one of those "you're your own worst critic" scenarios.

Eventually Skyler and Erin showed up and we all talked and worked on stuff and got stuff ready and passed out way later than we should've. But we were ready! To go to Tulsa. Not.. the cosplays. But they were ready to be brought down to get finished!

Thursday

So we got a later start than we usually do on Thursday. On purpose. We wanted sleep. And since Skyler and Erin came down and there were six of us we split between two cars. It was finally my year. Year nine of us going down and I was finally the one who had to drive. I mean. I did finally get a car last year. A Prius. With it's excellent gas milage. So naturally it was my turn. In my car we had myself... obviously, Kelsey, and Brock. So the other car was Skyler, Erin, and Dani.

Before leaving Omaha we hit up Walmart to get our groceries for the weekend. And then we were off! The usual, non eventful, drive down to Tulsa. Although Dani almost died so there was that. She was sitting in the back in the other car and Erin noticed the door open light was on. Dani's back there, leaning on the door, listening to music, no seatbelt, oblivious to the whistling from the door.... She survived though!

So we get to Tulsa, check into our hotel. Haul all our stuff up to the 3rd floor. And there was a lot of stuff. But the 3rd floor was great because it's only one floor above the floor that leads to the sky bridge that goes over to the convention center. So we basically got to avoid the elevators the whole weekend. Which if anyone here has been to a convention at a hotel with elevators you know how crazy those waits can get.

After getting a little settled Brock and I ran down to go pick up our badges. We were the only ones who happened to pre-register. Which ended up being not as convenient as it sounds because the line we ended up in because of our last names was the longest one. It took... a while. And then when the others got their badges the next morning they were back to fast. Jealous.

THIS MONSTROSITY

The rest of the night was working on cosplay. I still had my wig to finish but I pushed that one off until the next day and worked on some other miscellaneous things. Little things here and there with the other cosplays and painted the props for the skit with Erin. A few of our Tulsa friends also stopped by to say hello. Other than that it was a pretty chill night.

Friday

Friday morning, after waking up and treating ourselves to the free breakfast the hotel provided it was back to cosplay work! I actually worked on my wig this time and finally finished that monstrosity! When it was time to go down to the con I threw on my K-ON! uniform because it's comfy and I didn't know what else to bring for Friday. Dani was Tsukimi, Brock was Spider-Man, Kelsey was comfortable, and Skyler and Erin were casual Hawke and Fenris.

Aww yiss Fenris.

Friday was a lot of wandering and getting the lay of the land. We hit up the vendors room first and that might have been when I bought a couple of new phone charms. In the artist alley we found the cosplay contest sign up and went ahead and did that. Honestly I can't remember much of what we did on Friday at the convention center. I know there was a lot of finding each other, losing each other, and then window shopping. At one point, Kelsey, Brock and I spend a couple hours very slowly going through the artists alley making mental notes of what we liked.

The one picture I have of me from Friday.

After all that though we went back to the room to eat some food and continue our work on the costumes that needed to be ready for the next day. That's kinda how last minute we were. At some point we had to stop and go practice our skit. So it was down to our usual practice spot!

d’awwwww

I'd say this was the longest we spent practicing. We had a lot of blocking to do. We wanted to make sure we had movement and plenty of fun things to look at. Dani and I by the nature of our skit were mostly just standing to the sides for the whole thing so the two of us were the ones who stood back and did the blocking. I kind of felt like a crazy, demanding person telling people where to go and what to do. I'm sorry if I got a little bossy guys! But it was fun and I think it turned out very successful!

We were super mature about this way this looked...

Also I've heard that song we did so many times that I now sometimes mix the lyrics with the song it's actually based off of. Yikes. Afterwards we made sure we finished everything else that needed to be finished and then passed out so we could get up in time to go to pre-judging.

Saturday

So pre-judging! It was a mad dash getting ready in the morning. I had to get up particularly early because I hadn't had time to do a makeup practice. And my character had a mildly intricate design on the face. Which... mostly got covered up by the wig later. But it still looked cool, I promise! Our koroks got to get ready the quickest since they weren't going to be seen underneath the costume. On the flip side though because they were so covered they were dying from the heat the whole time they wore those things.

Paya is ready for her day!

Paya and Purah checking in!

Too much cute!

Selfie with the hero!

It was humid and boring while we waited. But we had our fun!

One of the few full body shots of me. All those layers killed any curves I have. I need to figure that out for next time. Paya most definitely has some definitive curves.

The Tator Jaegars!!!

So we go down to the convention center and... had to wait for a while before they opened it up. We get up to the room we'll be judged in and also where the contest will be and... more waiting. There was a shift in the cosplay staff this year and it definitely had some of those... transitioning feels. So not as smooth as we're used to but oh well. After a while the skits were called to go backstage and... guess what! More waiting! But eventually we did get to go on and perform and outside of a couple of timing issues it went pretty well!!

Practicing while we waited.

I love when we look nice and colorful!

Waiting backstage to perform.

Right afterwards we went back to the room. Our poor koroks were dying from the heat. We ate some food and our koroks changed to more comfortable clothes. And then... it's been a month since the con. I've been so busy that I've been writing this in little spurts. Stuff happened on Saturday! I know there was a lot of wandering around. I ordered a couple of commissions in the artist alley.

Caught!

Model alert!

Something about those eyes.....

Taking a quick break.

Hmm. What did we do. Mostly lots of walking around. We didn't go to a single panel. So we did a lot of shopping. Ate some Dippin' Dots at one point. Yum. Poor Dani wanted to go outside and take pictures but we kept getting distracted. And when we finally did make it outside we only got a couple of pictures in before. Dun dun DUUUUN. It started raining. And with the wigs Dani and I were wearing. Rain would have been disastrous. So we had to run inside. I'msorryDani.

The beautiful before the rain started pictures.

See! It exists!

So adorable!

Silly times in Hyrule....

Some pics from The photoshoot our Link and Purah did together!

Mmmmm.

I know we went to the hotel room then. I think we were hungry so we ate some food. And by then it was about time to be getting to the contest. After getting all ready we went down to the convention center and waited until we were let into the room. Unlike previous years the skits went backstage right away and got to hang out in this curtained off area. Which had a little bit of seating, which was nice. So we sat back there waiting to go on. Playing on our phones. Chatting. Peaking out at the walk on line every so often to see if it was getting close to the skits yet.

Speak no evil. Hear no evil. See no evil. :D

Guys! It’s picture time!

Yay!

Eventually it was time! As usual the time onstage was a bit of a blur. The thing I most distinctly remember was the clatter as Dani's chopsticks from her hair fell one by one and hit the stage. I don't think the audience heard it but I was definitely very confused for a minute there. Other than that though things went wonderfully! And after leaving stage we were pretty excited about getting through it and hearing the crowd cheer and laugh. After a bit we were escorted to the back of the room to watch the rest of the skits and the results.

They killed him. D:

No remorse.

Passionate pointing!

There he go.

git it gurl

YAAAAAH

Giving my to-do list to Link.

Link is not amused.

More pointing!

So we get to the results and as usual they announce the hall cosplay winners first and then get to the skits. This is where things got crazy! They announce third place and lo and behold it's the people who have won first place every year we've done this. We were shook. And let that little hope into our hearts. Although Dani and I kept looking at each other and saying not to get our hopes up. And then second place is announced. Not us. So we're like. Okay. There's no way. Right?? Right?!?!

BUT GUESS WHAT!!!!! WE GOT FIIIIIIIRST!!!! We were shooken as Dani says. We walk on upstage all smiles because OMGWEWON. And then we had to stand there for a while with our certificates but it was so awesome!!! Once they ended everything we had to go and get our prize (moniiies) and fill out forms for the best prize. Badges for next year!!! So that was pretty exciting!

So happy!!!

We went outside after to get some pictures of all of us. Finally got some outdoor pictures because it had stopped raining. Which was nice. After that we went up to the room to order our celebration pizza! Which we used the money we won to buy. And divided up the rest. Which... took me way longer than it should have. I'll admit that. Even with a calculator I was having a rough time. Mostly with how the bills were divided.

It’s research time!

Waiting for that hero to appear!

Creeeepyyyy.

FIRST PLAAAACE

Paya getting ready in the morning. :D

Some koroks are very close with each other..

Cuties. All of them.

fab

Super sneaky korok <_<

Oh boy. We all know what time it is! Climbing!

So now that’s it’s been announced officially online elsewhere. Kelsey is having a babyyyyyy!!!!!!! 

Anyway. We ate pizza. We watched tv. Our friends visited. We had a good time! By the end of the night I was exhausted. Somehow everyone else still had energy enough to go to the rave but I just couldn't. I really am the great grandma of the group. My age is showing! So I passed out while they went and did that.

The best my hair has ever looked after being under a wig all day. Plus a good shot of that makeup because I’m proud of it!

Sunday

Sunday, Sunday. The last day. I'll admit I was alone for most of Sunday. After getting all packed and checked out I wanted to do the last of my shopping. And I kept getting separated from everyone else so I kinda just wandered alone. I mostly bought stuff in the artist alley. Although I did get some stuff for my husband's birthday in the vendors room. I picked up a commission. Had some long, fun talks with some artists. Bought myself some more Dippin Dots. Just generally had a good time wandering around.

The Tator Jaegers about to say goodbye to Tulsa for another year!

I did eventually meet up with Dani and Brock. And we sat around in the hallway exhausted and people watching. By the time we found everyone else we were also finding our Oklahoma friends. So there was some meeting and talking and we figured while we had everyone we may as well say our goodbyes and get going. So there were hugs and well wishes and we were off!

TULSA FRIIIIEEENDS!!!

Well. Off to find lunch. At Arby's! And then really on the road! For the most part it was uneventful. Until we drove through a storm. Which happened to also be when we had to take a detour. So that was interesting. Driving through small towns on an unknown road while it's storming. Apparently the other car saw a mini tornado! We didn't get anything quite as scary.

Otherwise we made it home okay and all was well. Another year of Tokyo in Tulsa. It had a slightly different vibe than previous years what with the staff changes. But otherwise it was a blast! Winning the skit contest was most definitely the highlight of the weekend! Thanks to everyone who made that possible. And just thanks to all my friends for being the best and making the con such a good time. I love you all and until next year!

Our short shenanigans video! 

[hippyspacewitch]

This has been building up for a while and this recent “bible” argument really bothers me. I can’t and won’t stay quiet about this. This is pungent with Fox News and the extreme Republican views. How can you not feel for people. It is genuinely upsetting and heart breaking. Those who stand on the side of coldness and disregard for life. You’re beyond despicable. There just aren’t words powerful enough to describe how much. Hypocritical. Sickening. These are words we could rightfully use to set the tone for an administration that strongly advocates putting children into concentration camps, separating families, while at the same time declaring it always necessary to follow through with every pregnancy. How cruel and lacking self awareness can you be? No, this is done in order to keep people down, and maintain control. Willful ignorance evolves into ultimate evil again.

I am not a sadness seeking person. I’m not the misery chick. Coming off a good high, actually. I’m living my life, feeling good. Aren’t I a lucky duck. Sweat is smelly, but it feels so good to get out of my skin for a bit. Looking more fit, take a pic, feeling happy. Whelp, let’s take a little trip to yon’ internet, gonna post another selfie of my cute face, look at those dimples! Wait, I’m not looking at my dimples anymore.

Looking at what’s going on in the world instead, so I continue reading NEWS, which is based on FACTS. I know. REALLY crazy to hear. Hopefully that catches on one day. Regardless, I am incredibly saddened. Only wish to repost the unpleasant articles I read, hoping it helps create awareness. It doesn’t feel like an appropriate time for sharing pleasantries or my happiness, because I’m truly very upset with the direction this current regime is leading our nation.

We weren’t too far from that standard already, but snowflakes are pushing back hard, trying to double down on ending crucial necessities needed to maintain a semi-capable, albeit heavily flawed, semi-civilized society. So many people have died to protect the right just to exist with dignity, relative to that previously stated fact alone, as it pertains mainly to the elongated fight for basic human rights. People of all races and cultural backgrounds have died for that much. I’m wholeheartedly dissatisfied and sickened by the actions of not just the notorious current administration, but the White House too, along with those who see the overall standard of humanity that so many people hold, as anything short of unacceptable. If you accept this, you should feel ashamed. I can’t say that enough, if you don’t hear your momma’s voice. If you continue to follow me, I’ll make sure you hear my voice enough.

I’ll make you feel something, whether you just stop reading because you can’t handle the truth, or if you’re feeling froggy, ready to speak against me, (I’ll weed y’all out.) or hey, you evolve at least far enough to want to see the world be better someday. (Work toward the latter.)

Therefore I am strongly urging and pleading with COGNITIVELY DISSONANT WHITE PEOPLE out there. It is long past time you MAKE A CHANGE, concerning the way you think about racism and race. SPECIFICALLY ADDRESSING people of PRIVILEGE here, anyone born into the Christian faith, not specific enough, here - WHITE PEOPLE! Yes, I am one, and I even fit all that above criteria. Well look at that. I can speak for myself and therefore others like me. Coming from a place where I was misdiagnosed AMAB (that’s assigned male at birth) I can absolutely say it is EASY for me to recognize the first 27 years of my life I was living with the highest standard of privilege in the United States. I still live with privilege as a white person, even as a transgender woman.

Anyone who knows me well enough, might say, “Well, Eris you’ve described what it’s like to live in an impoverished area, with high levels of crime, gang violence, and from what you tell me, you had reason to be afraid. That doesn’t sound like privilege” To which I would respond to myself as someone else, for the purposes of making a point in this hypothetical scenario that fits my point in the end, “Self that isn’t myself, because I’m not an idiot. We see comment sections for days, with white people fired up, wanting so bad to let the world know from their brand new iPhone, they experienced some semblance of living within poverty. White people essentially bragging about having a cup of coffee in the ghetto. It’s either that, or meth head white people living in a meth head white people neighborhood. Fox News’ most loyal demographic. White people who take unemployment, have tons of babies, vote Republican, damn liberals out there who are fighting to keep them off the street, with extremely limited resources given. Some viewers don’t know the definition of ironic, but isn’t it ironic? Ignorance isn’t at all self aware, until you spell it out for them slowly, and then there’s a chance they briefly acknowledge it before turning away, and forgetting it happened entirely. That said we must strive to look further than our individual experience for lessons.”

I heard that hot garbage living in Washington. Surrounded by meth heads. Working at the gas station, you here people talk. False arguments straight from hypocritical, entitled white people who are just looking to close the gap and get even more. So many of them are far too shameless, they’ll just admit it themselves. Who else are they going to tell? I can’t make this up. People who think like this are naturally afraid, as you should be. Fear clouds our minds far too often, but white people like this are next level.

Pissed off they have to share, like an overgrown petulant brat, ready to lick whatever unseen, promised hints of scum off a criminal inheritors shitty ass boot, as long as they feel like that boot isn’t treading on them. I’m not at all going to even get into my experience living in a bad neighborhood, here. I won’t even get into how long either. I can tell you, it was bad enough for me to want to know why. Now, I know why, and it’s more important to know. Privilege white politicians redistricting people based on race.

If you’re at all uncomfortable hearing white people, think how other people must be feeling about the whole sociology of race and everyday human relations. Oh I’m sorry, you can’t know, and neither can I. White people contribute to poverty maintaining class and privilege, institutionalizing racism through laws they create with that specific intention. Now they want to shut immigrants out entirely. The rich are a head of the curve in terms of closing the gap. Not out of strictly self preservation, the real goal is to maintain constant control and domination, basically keep people of color down.

This is barely getting close to just scratching the surface about race. A subject, I actually don’t like speaking a whole lot about. I don’t feel like I’m appropriate representation, for one thing. Personally, more of a reader on the subject. I will explain my experience learning about racism. It was fairly early on. I didn’t learn it, because of the area I lived in. The area I lived in was small, bad areas are small or larger depending on the states race issues and redistricting. I learned it before I moved there actually. There’s no way to put this without causing discomfort, so I apologize.

My biological donor called my former step dad the n word constantly. I actually asked him about it. I was very young, so I only remember my stepdad at the time, explaining certain things in a very delicate way, mostly to not harm my innocence. Saying he doesn’t actually feel like he’s a racist, that he’s just mad. It was hard on my mom and step dad to struggle with not wanting to shatter the image of my biological father, versus him basically doing it to himself. Being an empath, I recognized it was difficult, eventually I was calling them out on it. That doesn’t really have much to do with where I’m going, it’s just a bit of background to my mind altering experience as it pertains to learning about race.

Once I was older, around fifth or sixth grade, a few people would target me at school, because I’m white. It wasn’t until we got older, for the last couple years before I moved. I used to just be frustrated that we couldn’t keep seeing past it. I had yet to discover why that thought is selfish, but I was a good hearted kid. I thought it wasn’t fair, remembering how I felt, as it pertains to expecting people to learn English. How many extra languages are you fluent in, again. It isn’t easy for most people to casually pick up another language.

It’s important to realize, I’d been taught discrimination is wrong. I was taught not to blame other people for my problem. Once again, more learned behavior. My whole point is coming into fruition soon. Yes, I was discriminated against for being a white person. There it is, did you catch it? You might only be able to imagine why people of color would discriminate against white people; if you watch bullshit news and drink hot garbage for tea, wake up and smell the coffee!

If you are not lacking in awareness, you don’t have to look very far to see racism for what it is, and know the difference between perceived racism (discrimination) and racism as a contributing factor in our society. A real problem that effects people of color in so many complex ways, I truly can’t comprehend. It’s hard enough being trans and dealing with people hating you, before they know you at all. That’s one instance I can peel back in a big old nasty onion with many layers. Another privilege for white people, along with ignoring it, as far I am concerned it’s absolutely willful ignorance.

Deflate this desperate flotation mechanism and aesthetics. I hope this at least brings people the shame and guilt too many people are tired of feeling and want to just move past. Check yourself white people, you have no idea what it’s like to struggle daily as a disenfranchised person of color. You might have problems, but your privilege confines your experience.

[ourheartscondemnus]

Hi Ninji, I kinda just thought of how Adam and Eve have practical, simple modern clothing in plain colors, whereas Eva has vintage/retro type of attire, with patterns. They blend in as she stands out, careless of being seeing, confident in her immortality and kinda ignorant, whereas they are more careful of their privacy and general safety. I like how their mentalities clash in every way, even just in attire, and if you have a few thoughts on this it's always nice to read what you think !

Sorry, I got to this late, I had some errands to do today!

 First I want to point out this great article:  Q&A: Costume Designer Bina Daigeler on Only Lovers Left AliveVampire Costumes, Dressing Tilda, & More

It has a lot of interesting facts from the costume designer himself and it’s a great read.  Th first part of this article has some great information on the characters clothing and I think it is important to observe each one: 

The film’s central characters, all vampires, have been there and done that —  and their clothes, which have been cobbled together over centuries —  reflect it. Adam (Tom Hiddleston) swoons around his home in Detroit in half-unbuttoned dark shirts and bare feet, slim jeans, and lanky black hair; he’s as unconcerned with the outside world as he is with updating his wardrobe. 

Half a world away, Swinton’s Eve stalks the streets of Tangier in white leather and a shockingly white mane, which is given extra volume with yak hair. At home, her casualwear consists of embroidered Chinese pajamas and a decadent yellow-and-black robe handmade by costume designer Bina Daigeler, who previously worked with both Swinton and Jarmusch on The Limits of Control. Eve delights in life, books, and technology; naturally, she’s got a gleaming-white iPhone that she uses to FaceTime with Adam. Together, they sip blood from elegant little glasses and lounge in centuries-old robes.

Ava, Eva’s troublesome little sister (played by Mia Wasikowska), is the most colorful of them all. A night owl who prefers clubs to cafés, Ava wears girly, vintage-style dresses, patterned tights, and silver Mary Janes to flounce around Adam’s house and cause chaos wherever she goes.

 The fourth vampire in their pack, the “real” Christopher Marlowe (Josh Hurt), appears a little disheveled at first glance. But a closer look reveals his three-piece suits are made from exquisite and very old fabrics, gathered over the centuries since the writer’s mysterious “death” in 1593.

 There’s also a part that mentions the gloves which is also important. 

I know that there are references to the age of their clothes themselves. How did that affect what kind of textiles you used for the designs?

I like to use for them this very basic, natural leather — all of them, there’s something with leather they are wearing, and that they protect themselves also with the gloves. [The leather] is somehow a little bit like a second skin. The only one who is different —  because she is lost — is the character [played by] Mia [Wasikowska].

So focusing on Ava now- 

 Ava is the youngest of the group, and she is a very unique personality in the film. She’s bouncy, ready to party at all times, bratty, stubborn, childish, and depending on how you see her-annoying as hell at times. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a fun character, but the way she easily manipulates and plays Eve, and Eve allows it, while Adam just stares like ‘Fucking really?’ is upsetting to me because Eve is so good natured and Ava loves taking advantage of that to get her way. She knows she can’t with Adam, so she likes to annoy him, piss him off, destroy his life. 

Remember, this is the second time she’s done something horrible to him, and considering she’s less than 400 years old,  How do we know that? When asked, John Hurt said Marlowe is YOUNGER than Adam- Adam is 500-600 depending on the interview, article, etc that you read. Tom always said 500 so I go with that. Eve is 3000 according to Tilda, and John said that Marlowe was  300-450 years old and was uncertain how he turned. I never finished it, but here is some interview notes I took from various interviews- this was only HALF of them.  And everyone agrees, including Jarmusch, that Ava is the youngest. So she’s likely only close to 100-200. We know that because she hurt Adam 87 years prior to the film- it was made in 2012/2013 so that means the incident that he’s still upset over took place in  1925/1926 or so.

So looking at her age, it makes sense that she is the way she is. Part of the film’s story is Adam’s turning point on humanity. He’s basically turned his back on it at the end of the film, returned to his vampire roots, etc. after Ian -his last connection a)betrayed his trust and b)was murdered by Ava-the reckless and blood thirsty child of the group. Seriously, in vampire terms, she’s probably still a baby which is possibly why Eve gives in to her manipulations. 

SO ON CLOTHING-The style of clothing isn’t modern, and yet it’s not ancient pieces thrown together across time. It’s recent enough that it still looks stylish, and still gives her a unique image compared to-well EVERYONE in the film. Even the background people at the club didn’t pop out. You had a few hipsters, a few basic outfits, but nothing POPS. And the one outfit that does pop had a cut scene- The girl from The White Hills outfit. (There was a deleted scene where they pass by and she sees that they have no reflections you can see it here ) BTW her name is Ego Sensation. Just fyi. 

SO anywho- Ava’s clothing is meant to have more personality, to stand out, because of the concept that she is ‘lost’ her being lost is entirely up for debate on the meaning, but I take it as because of her age, she’s still not ready to let go of the lifestyle she’s become accustomed to, to party and explore the world, to live among the living instead of hiding away.

 Another great thing about her is with Adam and Eve-their clothes can be completely androgynous. One of Tilda’s great qualities is she’s built where she can dress as either sex and it WORKS. If Eve and Adam traded outfits, other than awkward sizing it would make no difference in making them both look a certain gender. (Also-headcanon that Eve is genderfluid). Meanwhile, Ava is girly from head to toe. Even her gloves are supposed to look more ‘girly’ than the others. It’s one of the things that makes her character so adorable to look at.

Going back and looking at her age- Ava has no reason to fear people. She didn’t live in a time when vampires were hunted, most likely. I want to believe she was likely still a ‘newborn’ when she first pissed Adam off, but only Jim Jarmusch could tell -and I have no way to ask him or even Mia. Sad. If I could be connected to them to know more I totally would. (I STILL want a book on how all of them were turned/met one another etc. because I NEED IT and tbh I don’t like most of the fanfic for the movie :x ) - Let’s assume she was turned around 1900 (Edith Cushing is that you?) - By then everyone pretty much stopped believing vampires existed. You had books like Carmilla( (1872) and Dracula ( 1897) and in 1922 the movie Nosferatu. By then, it is safe to say Vampires were more myth and legend than a real fear. Going from there, who really believed in any kind of supernatural being existing anymore? And the few things people may have believed, aliens and ghosts, are all just superstitious to those who don’t believe.  

Ava literally was not raised as a vampire in a time where she needed to fear people, unlike Adam and Eve. She just doesn’t have a reason to hide- and if she drains people, it can easily be a murder covered as being someone who is severely mentally ill and thought they were a vampire. But the killer would never be found- unless there was some tie to her or others around her. That’s why Adam and Eve skipped town, Adam broke his rule of not being seen with Ian because Ava wanted to go out-meaning they were the first who’d be mentioned as suspects in his disappearance. 

Adam and Eve meanwhile have lived through a hell of a lot of shit where innocent people were MURDERED for any traits that tied them to witchcraft, being some supernatural creature like a vampire and have seen some shit. People would put stakes through the dead to keep them from rising, they’d bust their jaws, they even made cages over graves to keep the dead underground. There is a real fear of being found out embedded in them, and as Marlowe said, it would cause chaos-and likely lead to their deaths, if they were to tell the world they existed. Eve plays with the idea, but she’s a smart one, she wouldn’t do it knowing it could mean they’d be killed for it. If not used as lab rats. 

Each of their clothing has its own type of personality, Eve’s is very reminiscent of the places she’s been and the cultures she explores, Adams clothing, according to that one pamphlet thing (I can never remember where it is or how to find it) 

and Kit’s is your basic nice suit match but with pieces that are about 400 years old. (I want to know the secret of their clothing staying perfectly intact.) 

But even with all this, Ava’s stands out the most because she doesn’t see any fear or need to fear being out in the open unlike the others. If you look at it in her pov, it makes perfect sense to not have to hide, and lets be honest- the fact that Adam and Eve dress the way they do actually does make them stand out a bit in a crowd because NO ONE dressed like that now-or hardly anyone does anyways. 

Ava’s clothing and their significance is one of my favorite things about the film tbh. And, like you said, she is careless, overconfident, and slightly ignorant. But on another hand, isn’t it smarter to try and blend in with a crowd instead of standing out? I can’t quite remember, but I think 2012/2013 was the area when vintage was suddenly EVERYWHERE and everyone wanted to be vintage-so who stood out more, Adam and Eve, or Ava? 

For some other links you may enjoy: 

A wordpress users views and analysis of Ava’s costumes: https://superqueen.wordpress.com/2014/03/27/may-i-avas-wrist-length-gloves-in-jim-jarmushs-only-lovers-left-alive/

An interview with Jim Jarmusch: https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2014/04/jim-jarmusch-only-lovers-left-alive-interview

[ace-take-the-prndl]

@emeracco

you asked for it

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? 

I’m not suprised

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

Nothing because I haven’t kissed anybody  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

If it was weed I probably wouldn’t care but any other kind yeah..

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

Nope

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

Still never kissed anybody

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

No?

7. What does your last received text say?

lol

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

09. Where was your last kiss at?

nowhere

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

I saw my oldest sister like 2 days ago, I can’t remember the last time I saw my other sister. She doesn’t hang out with us anymore

11. What do you drink in the morning?

Some nice cool and refreshing H2O. Stay healthy kids.

12. Where did you sleep last night?

My bed?

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

I answered this one already

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

Nah that’s too much work. and I wouldn’t fuck with the past

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

Yeah that I’m alone

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

Answered this already too

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

omfg a lot of people. My middle name is unoriginal for a middle name

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

like pajama shorts

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

God I hope so

20. Does anyone like you?

idk if they do they better tell me because I’m clueless af

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

No

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

Still haven’t kisses anyone

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

there’s a lot of people I CANNOT stand tbh

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

Yes! I want a bunch tbh

25. In the past week have you cried?

Probably I don’t even pay attention to when I cry. I’m an emotional person okay.

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

Mixed breed

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

Both?

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

Nope

29. Do you think you’re old?

Hell no I’m still young

30. Do you like text messaging? 

Yeah its quicker and easier sometimes

31. What type of day are you having?

A chill one

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

I actually just got my nose pierced a few weeks ago! I’ve wanted it for the longest time, both my sisters and mom have theirs done.

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

COLD. I hate the heat so much, I get hot easily and then I get sick. Warm weather, gross.

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

eh not really

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

A relationship. I’ve never been in one and I want something meaning full in my life and not just a fling

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

I can be both

37. What song are you listening to?

Also answered this already

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

Of course 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

Yeah I’m sure my friends do, I don’t keep things from them even about myself if I did it’s because I forgot to tell them or something 40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

???? 41. When did you last receive a text message?

Today 42. What is wrong with you right now?

You got me buddy 43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

I’d say pretty well 44. Does anyone disgust you?

Yes. 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

Depends I guess 46. Are you in a good mood right now?

Yee 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

idk my dad?  48. What color shirt are you wearing?

Like a really dark blue 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

No I’m an opened person and I’m always ready to listen to someone even if they’re telling me I’m a shit person I’m like thank you and now I’ll go change myself so I’ll be less of a shit person and don’t cause people trouble or pain 50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

None that I care for 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

No, I’ve never fell hard for someone

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

Nope. I know when I need to walk away to better my health I won’t let someone hold me back. 53. Do you like rain?

answered already 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

Nah. Just as long as they’re not an alcoholic I’m cool with it 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

Yeah. Story of my life tbh. 56. Do you like to cuddle?

YES 57. Are you shy?

eh not it depends on the situation like around adults I can be meh… But grouping outings and stuff I’m pretty out and about 58. Do you get along with girls?

yeah 59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

no 60. What do you carry with you at all times?

Money. Hand sanitizer. Chapstick. Basic shit. 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

For 1 million dollars yeah, I’d fight a ghost for 1 million dollars 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

yeah 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

sadly no 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

YES 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

I left my sister’s house and my sister texted me a minute later saying how my nephew asked were I was at and she told him I left and he goes “but i didn’t get to say bye..” I thought it was cute. Usually they hate me lmao

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

never been kissed

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?  

My nails are shit I’d rather pay. I only ever got them done twice in my lifetime so far.    68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?

Leopard print     69. Do you have any stickers on your car? 

I don’t have car…    70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?  

LUKE BRYAN. I actually really love Luke Bryan don’t hate me   71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?   

Well my first smart phone was and Anroid so I’m going with that 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?

God I can’t even remember I hope it’s soon I could go for some PIzza Hut     73. Do you like diet soda?    

Ehh.. Yeah I don’t drink a lot of pop to begin with though. Like I hate pop. But I LOVE root beer 74. What color are the walls in your room?  

White   75. Are you 16 or older? 

I am 76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    

No but I’ve heard of it 77. Do you have a job?    

No… I need to get one. I gotta worry about school so putting a job on top of that would suck. and I have no way of transportation so..   78. What are your initials?   

JH  79. Did you ever have braces?    

I actually got denied braces a couple days ago which pisses me off because I need braces, my teeth are shit 80. Are you from the south?  

I don’t think? I’m horrible with stuff don’t ask me this. 

81. What does your last status on facebook say?

It’s just a video I reblogged, I don’t post much on facebook     82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? 

there’s a lot of kissing questions isn’t there?    83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?

I don’t like to choose though I feel more comfortable joking with my mom on some stuff. It can be a little awkward with my dad because I’m like his little girl and idk.. Sometimes it’s like or this is fine and sometimes I’m like why. It’s nothing ever addressed towards me or anything no, it’s just things you’d like tell a friend and have a laugh about you know? But also my dad does do a lot for me. So I’m close to both of them.

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    

Hell no 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?   

Kong: Skull Island  86. Do you smoke?    

No I’d literally die. Asthma my guy, I ain’t taking any chances. 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? 

Heels. I can’t walk in heels which I REALLY WISH I COULD. But I hate feet and flip flops is basically just showing you people’s feet and I just want to gag   88. Is your phone touch screen?    

Yep 89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    

Straight 90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    

No, I’m a good noodle 91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?

 I’ve only ever swam in a pool it’d be fun to swim in a river or lake. But then large body water phobia might kick in

92. Have you ever made out in a car?  

No :/   93. …Had sex in a car?    

….. No 94. Are you single or in a relationship?    

Single 95. What were you doing last night at midnight?

Probably watching videos on youtube     96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?

July 4th :P     97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    

Fuck no it’s a piece of shit 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?  

No.   99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? 

Lmao no    100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?

No I ain’t no fake bitch if I hate you why would I add you on facebook 101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    

No 102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    

Probably Cannibal I don’t know why but I listened to that one a lot back in 2010 103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    

No I can’t tan for the life of me. I got 2 shades Larry the Lobster and Casper the Friendly Ghost 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? 

I don’t think I’d ever wear cowboy boots lmao. I’ve worn boots with shorts before they just weren’t cowboy boots 

[justmysicklypride]

1-104

Fuck you Jessie smh1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? Idc who it is I would just say "get the fuck out of my bed" regardless2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?Well they don't exist so nothing3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?No bc it's his life he can live how he wants, I'm not his babysitter or mother4. Is your last name longer than six letters?No5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?It was non-existent 6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?Not really7. What does your last received text say?It's just this insurance company thing talking about like terms and conditions, and I'd rather not say bc I'm legally not supposed to8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?Zero, bc they don't fucking exist 9. Where was your last kiss at?Nowhere10. When is the last time you saw your sister?Don't have one11. What do you drink in the morning?Idk milk probably 12. Where did you sleep last night?My house in my bed, where else?13. Do you think relationships are hard?Idk if they're hard but they're fucking high maintenance as fuck which is why I don't want one bc I don't have the time nor energy to deal with having to care for another person for once smh14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?Yes bc I fucked up my taxes so I'd go redo them 15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?Fucking hell they don't exist16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?Rainy bc the rain is calming17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?Considering the fact that I'm Asian, I have two middle names so the chances of someone getting that specific combination of specific characters is quite unlikely18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?Pyjama pants19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?I hope not20. Does anyone like you?Idk I never bothered checking but probably21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?Never kissed22. Is the last person you kissed gay?Never kissed23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?Heaps of people you have no idea, I measure people by how much they piss me off on a daily24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?I mean I've thought about it before realising how dumb it would be bc I'd get tired of it in a day25. In the past week have you cried?No26. What breed was the last dog you saw? I actually don't know what breed my dog is tbh like it's a type of terrier I think 27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?Both, it depends on how much in a hurry I am 28. Have you ever kissed a football player?Never kissed29. Do you think you’re old?Yep30. Do you like text messaging?I don't really care I mean I also prefer talking on the phone or irl bc it's less time than typing smh and voice diction is stupid sometimes 31. What type of day are you having?One filled with annoyance, though to be fair I'm like 90% annoyed at everything32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?Yes but only bc Vic Fuentes, before deciding that I wouldn't suit one33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?Couldn't care less, but it depends34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?Not really I mean men are predictable af so probs no 35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?A not-serious relationship so something in between those two, bc I don't have time for commitment36. Are you a simple or complicated person?Depends on what your definition of simple and complicated are37. What song are you listening to?Nothing at the moment but the last song I listened to was Alone Together by Fall Put Boy (acoustic version) 38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?Not really39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?Other than myself, hell no40. What made you start liking the person you like now?Well there's no one I like now so nothing41. When did you last receive a text message?Couple've minutes ago42. What is wrong with you right now?Well I have to work two jobs and I'm a full time university student, so between that and trying to run this forsaken blog and maintain any form of social life, both irl and on the internet, I'd say a lot of things43. How well do you know the last female you texted?It was probs @2thingsfunny bc let's be real you're probably the only female I text on a regular basis who doesn't annoy me to no end, and I'd say eh I guess I know you a decent amount44. Does anyone disgust you?Idk probably not bc I don't like that word so I never use it45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?Depends on the guy but shore why not46. Are you in a good mood right now?I'm in an "eh" mood tbh47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?My mother48. What color shirt are you wearing?White49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?Probably idk I don't really keep track50. Anyone you’re giving up on?I give up on a lot of things so probably? Again, I don't keep track51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?No, I'm not that short tempered smh52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?Nope I'm good at giving up things tbh53. Do you like rain?Yep but not heavy rain tho54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?That would be very hypocritical so no 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?I guess56. Do you like to cuddle?Heck no57. Are you shy?Not at all58. Do you get along with girls?Hell no, my friends are 98% male59. Have you dated the person you texted last?No60. What do you carry with you at all times?I don't think there's even a thing I carry with me at all times? Do my glasses count bc I can't see jackshit (out of my left eye) without them?61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?Probably, but only if the house isn't like an abandoned house with like dust and insects all over it62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?That is such a long time shit idk, I've never tried one?63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?No64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?I mean I'd probably be annoyed bc it'll just remind me of how fucking short I am65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?Not that I can think of, I mean I saw a cat so that's p cute66. How old are the last three people you kissed?Never kissed anyone smh67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? I don't get them done often but I would choose to pay (if I can afford it smh) bc I'm lazy like that68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? Leopard69. Do you have any stickers on your car? Don't have a car70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? I don't listen to Luke Bryan so Lil Wayne it is71. Blackberry, Android, or iPhone? I mean I own an iPhone so that72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? The last time I remember was in high school, the guys (my friends) and I would always order heaps of pizza and eat together during lunchtime bc one of our friends' dad was a teacher so he'd let us use the classroom for that, and he'd lend his son the car to pick up said pizzas73. Do you like diet soda? I don't mind it74. What color are the walls in your room? White 75. Are you 16 or older? Yep76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? Nop77. Do you have a job? Two, actually78. What are your initials? They are N.O.Y.B aka none of your business79. Did you ever have braces? I need them desperately but I don't want them so no80. Are you from the south? Southern Hemisphere yes81. What does your last status on facebook say? I don't use Facebook much so I never make statuses82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? Ffs I've never kissed anyone83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? Don't know tbh but I don't really care much84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? Thing about Malaysian primary schools, during sport carnivals, they wanted to encourage participation so whoever doesn't want to do actual sports have to do cheerleading or like some form of cadet thing where you march around with like flags or whatever, so I tried cheerleading bc none of the athletic events interested me at the time, instantly hated it and went to become a cadet85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? I think it might've been Ant Man when it first premiered86. Do you smoke? Nope87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? Both tbh88. Is your phone touch screen? Yep89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? Straight90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? Never had a need to91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? Pool bc it's actually /safe/ (for the most part)92. Have you ever made out in a car? No93. …Had sex in a car? No94. Are you single or in a relationship? Single95. What were you doing last night at midnight? Probably sleeping96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? Chinese New Year this year97. Do you like the camera on your phone? Could be worse tbh98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? No99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? Surprisingly no100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? I don't like a lot of people so yes101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? No102. Name your favorite Kesha song: TiK ToK bc I'm basic and don't listen to her much103. Do you have any tan lines right now? No104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? If someone paid me or if it's for cosplay then yes but otherwise probably not