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pleasantanathema · 4 years

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Pleasant’s Writer Recs!

I’ve gotten a few asks in my inbox over the past few weeks asking me for writer recs, so I thought the best way to do this was to compile a list of my fav authors on tumblr and rec my favorite fic of theirs! A lot of these amazing authors are moots—I’m very lucky to call many of them close friends. This list could be much longer, and I could go on for days about every single author, but I’ll try to keep it brief. Most all of these authors, like myself, write 18+ only content. Hopefully this can be a useful tool for authors and readers alike looking for amazing fanfic 💕

@bakatenshii | Angel is so phenomenal with her writing that I almost can’t put her style and amazing ability into words (but I’ll try). Angel’s work is beautiful, masterful, full of poetry, elegance, and smut that will all leave you gasping. Fav Fic: Blitz [Ushijima x Reader]

@blahkugo | Sunnt, Thunnth, Sunny, whatever you call her, she is brilliant. No one writes Tsukishima quite like she does. She is beyond creative and her writing style flows like the sexiest water, it’ll make you thirsty and quench your aches. Fav Fic: Tower [Tsukishima x Reader]

@deathcab4daddy | Tay is all about details, details, details. She fills in every gap and paints gorgeous, sexy pictures and situations for the reader to feel immersed in. Fav Fic: Cerulean Blue [Akaashi x Reader]

@dymphnasprose | Dymphna is all about fun, sex, and slowly filling out her holy bible of smut. She’s amazing at creating realistic sub/dom relationships and her smut almost always comes with a healthy dose of build-up. Fav Fic: Green Scrunchies [Ukai x Reader]

@enjifuckersupreme | Ketsl reigns supreme over pure, unadulterated porn. They are phenomenal at making me the reader wet, and every fic is crafted with so much care. Enji fuckers should bow down at their feet, no one loves and writes Enji like Ketsl. Fav Fic: Attitude Adjustment [Enji x Reader]

@hisoknen | Raph is one of the first dark blogs I ever started reading, and she never, ever disappoints. She writes pieces that chill you to the bone, but warms your sex- her writing is casual, smooth, and realistic, always giving you everything you need, but leaving you wanting a little more. Fav Fic: Sleeping Beauty [Dabi x Reader]

@hoe-doroki | Ana is one of the sweetest writers I know. Every time I talk to her, she’s working on comfort requests or beta-reading for other people. Her writing is such a pleasure to read, as you can tell she pours love and consideration into every fic for her readers. Fav Fic: Can’t Find My Breath [Bakugou x Reader]

@joyousandverywarlike | Zo...holy fucking shit. Zo is a writer who consistently blows me out of the water with her skill. This woman is a novelist blessing us with juicy, rich smut and love stories like no one else can. She is incredibly poetic and her writing is an absolute joy to read; she also writes amazing fics for black readers and has an amazing voice that she uses for asmr audios! Fav Fic: How We Met [Ushijima x Reader]

@lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten | Leah is an author who takes immense care with her work. She works incredibly hard to craft sexy, healthy bdsm fics for bnha. She is a great blog to go to for bdsm education, and she’s also got a side blog @lemonlordleah-extra-sour for all you extra naughty readers who like the darker side of fanfic. You should also check out her Patreon! Fav Fic: Between the Evergreen [Aizawa x Reader]

@linestrider | Nyki’s work is like smooth water, it’s calming, refreshing, but she also adds a nice, chill bite to it as well with her darker style. Nyki puts such an impressive amount of care into her work; a word is never out of place, every sentence has meaning, every paragraph gives you something new. It was very hard to choose just one fic to recommend. Fav Fic: What’s Said is Said [Hawks x Reader]

@lookslikeleese | Leese is one of the most fun writers on Tumblr, and by that I mean you just have a shitload of fun reading her fics. They are like little, sexy treats to take in right before bed and feel a little more full than you were before. She is also the Cucking Queen. Fav Fic: Cola [Enji x Reader]

@messwriting | Lee is also another fun writer! Her writing is exhilarating to read, and you’d never guess she’s a sexy Brazilian whose second language is English based on how well she writes. She’s a little sex goddess who will give you everything you want and more in every fic. Fav Fic: What We Could’ve Been [Tsukishima x Reader]

@mindninjax | Marquie is a full on sweetie with a sexy side. She. Is. So. Creative. Every fic of hers is so unique and her masterlist is a whole reading experience. She writes Bakugou Katsuki so damn well, she’s a master at characterization, even in au’s. She also writes beautiful fics for black readers. Fav Fic: Bound to You [Bakugou x Reader]

@nekokoafanfictions | I first found Ai on Ao3, and then was fortunate enough to come across their blog here on Tumblr! I’ve said this before in previous rec lists, and I’ll say it again, I still read their fics some nights to fall asleep to, they are just that good, every fic will have you coming back at some point to read it again. Fav Fic: City Lights [Enji x Reader]

@present-mel | The. Queen. Of. Dialogue. Mel is a master at making her fanfic feel real, gritty, sexy, and beautiful all at the same time. This woman pours her heart and soul into fanfic, especially into her Erwin series Fragments of Memories. I was so captivated by her work that I just had to become her friend, her work is enchanting and thrilling. Fav Fic: Until the Fire Played [Enji x Reader]

@rat-suki | Annie makes me horny. Like, real horny. Her smut is fantastic and are often little thrill rides within themselves. Fuck rollercoasters, just go to Annie’s masterlist to find a joy ride. Fav Fic: Hell Fire [Enji x Reader]

@rivendell101 | I’m such a big fan of Alisha, that I sent her a request months ago before we even became friends. This author knows how to craft a story, her work is very meticulous with details and her plots are always so spot on. Fav Fic: Sweet Thing [Natsuo x Reader]

@smutbardpeach | Smutbard is the most accurate title for Peach, as her fics read like poetry and song, filled with beautiful language, imagery, and allusions to the brim. If you’re ever looking for something romantic, sensual, delightful, and just overall magnificent to read, this is the blog to go to. Peach’s work is like reading poetry and classics right off the shelf. Fav Fic: Truth in Wine [Hizashi x Reader]

@spicyness | Are you thirsty? Do you like fun, sexy headcanons? Ness is the author for you. Ness is so, so fun and sweet, and is active with her followers and is always posting something new and creative for us to nibble at. Her blog is full of fun thirsts and she’s always a joy to see pop-up on my dash. Fav Fic: Pride [Bakugou x Reader]

@sugardaddykenma | Lin has the most amazing brain. I wish I could just...see and understand how she thinks. Her blog is full to the brim with hilarious, iconic, and down right fucking true headcanons for haikyuu characters. Many nights I have stayed up laughing my ass off and saying “why is that so true?” while reading through her astonishingly creative work. Fav Fic: Haikyuu on Drugs

@thewheezingwyvern | Wyv is a writer who gets straight to the point; her words are poignant, meaningful, and always paint a very clear picture. She is a Shinsou and Aizawa lover/fucker all the way to her core, and she’s amazing at bringing those characters to life in her work. Fav Fic: Salt Lines [Aizawa & Shinsou x Reader]

@thisisthehardestthing | Claudia is one of the most talented writers I have ever met. Period. She has a vocabulary, a depth, an ability to craft the most intense, alluring, and magnificent fanfic you’ve ever read. Most of her work doesn’t even seem like fanfic, it reads like love letters stuffed into the pages of a book that stand the test of time with her marvelous writing abilities. She always awes me, as every single fic is unique and powerful it its own way. Fav Fic: Tocka [Tanaka x Reader]

@tomurasprincess | The Queen of Darkness herself, Mari is amazing at fulfilling all of your dark desires. I’ve never met anyone else who is as active as she is with her followers, as she’s constantly pushing herself to answer requests and give people exactly what they want to see. She has such an expansive masterlist, any dark fic lover can find something worthwhile from her! She’s almost made a Shigaraki fucker out of me, almost. Fav Fic: Wraith’s Touch [Shigaraki x Reader]

@undermattsun | Miki taught me what a skate rat is. Do I understand it yet? Not really, but I fucking like it. Miki is so much fun and is always active with her followers, giving out awesome thirsts, visuals, and headcanons for her fav haikyuu characters. Fav Fic: Flavor of the Month [Matsukawa x Reader]

@vixen-scribbles | Vixen is someone who cares about everyone around her, and her blog reflects that. Amongst all her amazing writing, you’ll always find her recommending her friends and supporting other writers. Her writing is fucking sexy, she knows her way around the bedroom when it comes to fics, and she’s got a lengthy masterlist to fawn over. Fav Fic: Take All of Me [Ushijima x Reader]

@whats-her-quirk | Truly, the best has been saved for last. June’s work is the heart and soul of classic, fucking amazing fanfic. I can’t even explain how much I love her fics, like they will put the biggest smile on your face and have your thighs rubbing together in anticipation. June is writing her fantasies and having fun, and we are privileged to enjoy the ride with her. She knocked kinktober out of the fucking park, with each fic being a new, fresh delight. Fav Fic: Once in a Blue Moon [Karasuno x Reader Gangbang]

This list could honestly be twice as long, and perhaps in the future I’ll make a companion to it as I meet new authors and read more amazing fanfic. Please give all these authors a follow or at least check out their blogs. 💖

#writer recs #bnha #haikyuu #attack on titan #fanfiction #bnha fanfic #hq fanfic #aot fanfiction #bnha x reader #haikyuu x reader #aot x reader #amazing writers #pleasant speaks #my hero academia #haikyuu!!#my hero academia fanfic

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kookings · 3 years

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spidey-spidey

sry for the repost my blog was hidden </3

“The itsy bitsy spider may have crawled up the water spout, but I have a broom to wipe your bitch-ass out.”

PAIRING(S) -> jungkook x fem!reader/aspiring author!reader + side yoonmin

GENRES(S) -> college au, neighbors au, friends to lovers au, humor, fluff, suggestive

SUMMARY -> Your neighbor slash crush Jeon Jungkook is exceptional at exterminating bugs from your apartment. And also at kissing you.

WORD COUNT -> 7.8k

WARNINGS -> profanity, lewd language, suggestive content (making out, heavy-ish(but not rly) petting), scientifically and anatomically incorrect depictions of spiders, creepy crawlies, yn is awkward as shit, and she makes bad jokes + puns, then again so does jungkook but he’s cute so we pretend we do not see

AUTHOR’S NOTE -> hello lovelies ♡ so i’ve been working on this oneshot since winter and i finally finally finished it (even tho it’s not that long i just procrastinated rip)!! lowkey inspired by a tik tok!!special thanks to the jk solo staning @chanluster for being the inspiration behind a specific line (you’ll figure it out). oh and also being the inspiration for the bugs you fucking vermin. finally, this fic also qualifies for #11 of @ficscafe ‘s dialogue prompt event!! i hope u enjoy (:

The spider has taken your apartment hostage.

Phone pinched at your ear and one foot halfway out the door, you pull yourself up to your full height, brandishing the broom like a weapon. You are ferocious. You are powerful. You are terrifying.

You will not be bested by a bug.

The spider skitters across your kitchen counter.

You nearly scream.

"This is how I die," you breathe into the receiver, wide eyes never straying from the very large, very scary spider that slowly nears your sink. "This is it. My last night on earth. Fuck, I knew I should've cleared my browser history. I wasn't actually going to murder anyone, I was just doing research for my manuscript!"

Amongst the chattering on the other line, you vaguely hear Jimin snort. "It's a bug, not a grenade. You'll be fine."

"It'll explode like a grenade when someone squashes it!" Your voice has jumped several octaves. Quickly — so as to not lose sight of your intruder longer than absolutely necessary — you glance around the hallway. It's empty. No one to witness your embarrassing throw-down with an insect; no one to save you from possible doom. You lower your voice anyways. "That someone being you, of course, my loving and caring roommate whom I would die for. Speaking of, what's your ETA?"

"Sorry, Champ," your best friend says, though he doesn't seem sorry in the slightest. Jimin hates bugs just as much as you do, and you have the distinct feeling he's thrilled that it's you who finally has to deal with a critter and not his plastic-gloved hazmat-suited self. "I work until eleven and then I'm crashing at Yoongi's. You're on your own."

"Dick can wait. We have an emergency."

"You have an emergency. I have table nine with a kid who just spilled his juice for the third time. And some dick to suck."

"Priorities," you scoff, making a wild swipe with the broom.

The brush end knocks into the coat rack and nearly sends your shelf of empty wine bottles crashing to the floor. You jerk back into the hallway, tripping over your feet and bashing into the door frame. A slow, numbing ache spreads through your left shoulder.

You swear the spider laughs at you.

"Listen here, you little shit," you growl, passing the broom to your right hand and pointing it at the spider. "The itsy bitsy spider may have crawled up the water spout, but I have a broom to wipe your bitch-ass out."

"Very poetic," Jimin drawls, and you have half the mind to thwart him with a broom too. "Hey, if the whole novel thing doesn't work out, you should definitely try your hand at poetry."

"You're useless," you say to both the redhead on the phone and the pathetic excuse for a Swiffer in your hand. "Absolutely useless."

"Why don't you knock on Jungkook's door? I'm sure our wonderful neighbor would love to give you a helping hand. In more ways than one, if you catch my drift."

At the mention of the ravenette, your heart threatens to pitch itself out of your throat.

All dark hair, smooth, milky skin and sparkling doe eyes that always seem to find you across a crowded room, it's no wonder you've fallen head over heels for your across-the-hall neighbor. Add on the fact that he's charming, sweet, witty and always shares his homemade pizza with you that he swears he's almost perfected, and you're an absolute goner.

Jimin oh-so-gleefully likes to remind you of that fact.

And of how you're too chicken to ask him out.

You bristle. "When I turn into spider man, your ass is the last one I'm saving from the crazy lizard men."

"Well, good luck with that but duty calls." Jimin pauses, and amongst the chaos of the restaurant on the other line you think you hear a set of footsteps, along with the distinct sound of air whistling. "No, yeah, duty's definitely calling, and he's got a rag that he's spinning around and — no, Seokjin, wait, I can explain — ow! What was that for?"

If the sharp thwap! of cloth against some part of Jimin wasn't enough, the restaurant manager's voice cutting through the public's conversation is proof that your best friend is now in the dog pound. Though not actually. Seokjin is a dear friend to you both and an even dearer friend to your pockets. The restaurant wasn't in search of new employees and yet he still procured you both jobs out of thin air. Payment, of course, for the horrible prank he pulled when you were both still freshmen.

Putrid green hair was not a look.

"Do I pay you to sit around on your phone all day?" Seokjin demands from the other line. "Hm? What was that? No? Right, then get your ass back to work. Also, tell Y/N I say hi."

You grimace. "Hey, Jin."

"She says screw you. Her words, not mine," Jimin supplies. "But don't you worry your little butt. Mark my words: this place will tip top in — aaand, he's gone. Left right in the middle of my speech. Didn't even wait for the best part."

"Fillet of Jimin, service for one," you mutter to yourself, though your smirk is slapped clean off your face at the sight of the spider staring at you. Or, more appropriately, glaring at you. A look akin to hunger, as if it wishes to gut, fillet and eat you.

You shudder and take another step back into the hallway.

"Jimin, please don't leave me," you beg once more, clutching the hilt of the broom. "I'll do anything. Well, okay, minus killing the spider myself, but virtually anything else. I'll do the dishes for a month — no, two months. Three, even."

"Tempting..." Jimin pauses for dramatic effect.

Though you know he's probably working you up only to kick you in the metaphoric nuts, it doesn't stop the hope from blossoming in your chest.

It also doesn't stop the dread that rocks through you as he finally says, "But no."

"I will cut you from mouth to anus and feed you to the—"

"That's a nice thought but I gotta blast. Table nine is having another meltdown. Don't stain the couch with spider juice!"

"You wouldn't dare—"

The line goes dead.

Serves you right for befriending Park Jimin of all people.

The apartment falls quiet. Eerily so. Lifting your chin, you let your phone fall, catching it and sliding it into your pocket. A sigh pushes past your lips as you wearily eye the critter.

"Well," you say into the newfound silence, speaking only to soothe your nerves. "I guess it's just you and me, Spidey."

Spidey stares at you.

Then he promptly crawls onto your plate of half-eaten takeout and starts making a meal for himself.

"Or not. Fuck you too."

You risk another glance around the hallway.

Still empty, still silent.

Still just you and Spidey.

Your gaze falters at Jungkook's door, just a couple of steps from your own.

At this time of night he's probably back from the gym, a fact you know from one too many run ins in the elevator; you, having just finished your shift at the restaurant and him, a sweating, glorious mess from his workout. Despite the heat rushing to your cheeks at the mental images, you can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, Jimin has a point.

Whether it be last minute do-or-die cram sessions (for exams which you both still somehow fail), midnight grocery runs to pick up eggs or even simply offering an ear for you to bounce plot ideas off of, Jungkook always goes the extra mile to be there for you. In whatever way he can, even if he doesn't deem it much, he makes the effort. A trait you value highly in him and strive to return tenfold.

You still remember the elation on his face when you'd knocked on his door at the ass crack of dawn, ready to go catch the rare Pokémon he'd sighted after you'd told him five minutes prior you'd come over your cold dead body. And as much as you'd hated sacrificing your precious sleep, his smile made you forget you were even tired in the first place. That, and the double shot espresso he'd bought you afterwards.

Jimin's right. Jungkook probably wouldn't blink twice at killing a spider for you.

Then again, Jimin doesn't know you're currently day four without a shower. And, unironically, wearing a shirt that reads real cowboys don't shower; they just dust off.

So no. Jungkook isn't an option. Not if you want to obliterate any chance of him seeing you as remotely attractive.

You purse your lips, zeroing in on your target. Mustering up whatever dregs of courage you can spare, you angle your broom again, leveraging it like a shotgun. You wish it was a shotgun. That would make things so much easier.

"Here, Spidey-Spidey," you call, tentatively taking a step towards your open apartment.

Spidey, as if indulging you, pauses his meal — your meal, damn it — and stares back at you. You imagine he cocks his beady little head, as if to say, "proceed, oh measly human."

"You know what?" Another step forward. A shaky breath. A fake smile. "I think this is all just one big, huge misunderstanding. So if you could just, you know, pitch yourself off the counter, maybe do a flip or something cool like that on the way down, then I'll feel a lot better and you won't have to suffer the end of my broom. It's a win-win situation, really."

"What are you doing?"

You shriek in surprise, whirling around only to nearly smack Jungkook — Jungkook? Oh God, how long has he been standing there? — in the side with your broom.

He's quick on his feet, sidestepping your accidental attempt on his life all while precariously balancing a steaming platter of pizza in hand. You, however, are not quite as agile. The momentum of your swing throws you off-balance, causing you to trip and stumble sideways. It's Jungkook's free hand that manages to catch you, steadying you before you can face-plant and make an even bigger embarrassment of yourself.

"Woah, slow your horses there, cowboy," he teases lightly. The way his eyes glitter makes you certain he's noticed your attire and chosen his words accordingly. He nods at the tray of pizza. "I come in peace."

You're dazed and confused and more than a little humiliated as you gape at him, struggling to bring some coherence to your thoughts. But he's still smirking at you, still gently holding your arm, still looking as heart-wrenchingly handsome as the first time you saw him and fuck, you can hardly think.

"Oh," you breathe dumbly, blinking at him like a deer in headlights. "Hello, yes, hi. Sorry." Rational thought slams into like a truck and you jerk out of his hold, even though everything fiber of you is screaming to do the opposite. Your skin burns from where his silver-clad fingers had encircled your wrist. "Sorry. I was — I'm just..."

Swallowing, you whip back around, facing your apartment again in search of Spidey.

Only to find him flying straight at your face.

This time you really do scream.

Instinct alone compels you to slash the broom through the air, a feeble attempt at taking down the monstrosity that now zooms in and out of your vision. You miss, though, hitting the door frame instead, and the force of the impact propels you backwards.

Right back into Jungkook.

He grunts, planting his feet and slipping his free arm around your waist to prevent the takedown of you both. You hardly register the accidental skim of his fingers beneath the hem of your shirt, or the firmness of his chest flush against your back, or the goosebumps that the contact elicits.

You're entirely too focused on this new blood curling horror.

"Oh my God it has wings."

Spidey has returned to where he first started, lounging on your kitchen counter without a care in the world. As if he hadn't just single handedly caused your very first heart attack at the tender age of twenty. You haven't even ticked off half of your bucket list for Christ's sake. You can't die. Not right now, not like this.

Not without telling Jungkook how you really feel.

The boy (as if sensing how flustered you are and wishing to make matters infinitely worse) dips his head, lips teasing the shell of your ear. "You know," he murmurs, "I think the bug is more scared of you than you are of it."

You can hear the laughter in his voice, feel his breath fanning your cheek. It does silly little things to your stomach, igniting a riot of butterflies that threatens to crawl out of your mouth. His arm is still wrapped securely around your waist, and the feeling of his fingers against your bare skin is enough to make you dizzy.

"Did it tell you that?" you ask, though your voice comes out breathier than you'd like. "Because last I checked, that spider is moving ten miles an hour and looks like it wants all the smoke. And it can fly."

"Spiders can't fly."

"Tell that to the flying spider," you seethe with an unceremonious cock of your middle finger.

Jungkook chuckles. The rumble of his chest against your back sends shockwaves of heat throughout your form. "I'm guessing things between you and mother nature aren't totally simpatico."

"Mother nature can suck a big fat —" you quickly reroute as Spidey skitters forward, almost daring you to finish that sentence, and instead conclude with, "—lollipop, of course, as a reward for providing all her love and greenery to our little world!"

"I'm surprised spiders have it out for you, what with how generous you are with your gifts." You feel his mouth curve up in that wicked smirk of his. "What, did you fry them with a magnifying glass when you were little? Tie strings around them and keep them as pets? Y/N, you naughty little girl."

"Sounds like projecting to me," you quip with a light slap to his wrist. "But no. I once stepped on an ant hill when I was eight though. Ever since then... the spiders. They're everywhere. I just can't catch a break."

Jungkook hums. "I'd have to call science and check but I'm pretty sure ants and spiders aren't the same."

"Tell science they're a little bitch while you're at it."

When he laughs, you feel some of the tension ease from your body. In fact, you begin to relax in his hold, subtly breathing in the scent of his cologne mixed with something entirely and utterly him. Your eyes remain fixed on Spidey, your hands still clutching the broom, but you feel safe. Secure. He hasn't let you go, and you have no plans on leaving anytime soon.

"So, where's Jimin?" Jungkook prompts. "Thought he was the one who normally took care of the creepy crawlies. You know, roommate agreements and all that."

"Yeah, well Jimin is currently having the fuck of his life."

He grins. "Do you want some help? With the spider, I mean. I'm no Jimin but I could teach that spider a lesson or two about messing with you." He pauses. "You can also always spend the night at mine. If you want. I have pizza."

You inhale sharply. Movie marathons and boozy nights aren't an uncommon occurrence on your floor, but it's never just been you and Jungkook alone in one of your rooms. Not when Jimin sticks to you like shit on a shoe. And while you love your best friend to death, sometimes he needs to take a goddamn hint. So many opportunities you and Jungkook have had to be alone, so many horrible ways Jimin makes them go amiss.

But Jimin isn't here, and there's no way you're going back into your apartment now. Especially not with Jungkook's proposition still hanging in the air. A giddy sense of excitement floods your veins at the prospect of spending the night with the man responsible for all your sleepless ones.

"Well," you start, a goofy little grin spreading across your face. You try to contain it to no avail. "You are really good at making pizza."

"Among other things."

"Is that so?"

"Guess you'll have to find out." His fingers gently brush your navel, cool rings stark against the heat pooling in your gut. And then he's grinning against your brow again and saying, "That is, of course, if you can deal with knowing the spider could be anywhere in your apartment when you wake up. In your fridge, in your closet... maybe even under your pillow."

"Ha-ha, very funny. I hope the universe knows that was a joke and that he's definitely not speaking it into existence."

But as much as you hate to admit it, he's right. Who knows what a spider could get up to with an entire apartment to itself?

Knowing yours, it probably has very special plans indeed.

"I think I'd sleep better knowing my apartment is spider free." You watch as Spidey continues to chow down on your food. Never again will takeout taste the same. "Only if you have time, though. I don't want to bother you."

"No worries. I was on my way over anyway."

You catch him gesture the pizza out of the corner of your eye, but you're zeroed in on the unidentifiable emotion in his tone. He sounds almost... disappointed. Rejected. It sets you on edge. Maybe because he, too, has realized this is one of the few opportunities you've had to be alone alone together.

And like an idiot, you've just squashed it like a bug.

That is if Jungkook even likes you like that. You may be ass at math but that doesn't mean you can't put two and two together. Sure, you two flirt in overtime when you're together, but you also know how many others beg for his time. Students on campus are a prime example, and the attention that follows him is sometimes overwhelming. One glance at his notifications will tell you just how sought after the golden boy is. Platonically and romantically.

Though you have noticed he's stopped going on dates.

During the first month he'd moved in, you'd caught him several times bringing home girls in the wee hours of the morning. Of course, that's because you were also sneaking in your own string of partners. Those encounters had been awkward, if somewhat funny afterwards, and you'd never really thought anything of them.

Until suddenly you did.

The more time you spent together — the more you got to know him and all his adorable quirks — the more rent-free space he took up in your head. You found yourself thinking about him constantly, every waking moment filled with thoughts of the boy of sunshine and yellow. You hadn't realized the extent of your feelings — you just thought you were happy to have a new, insanely attractive friend who'd boost your street cred.

Until you'd started thinking about your neighbor and his dates even when you were in bed with someone else.

What are they doing? Is she making him laugh that dorky laugh of his? Is she tickling that sensitive spot on his neck? Is she touching him, teasing him, running her hands through his hair, trailing her fingers lower and lower until she can feel all of him against her—

More often than not, you'd finished with his name on the tip of your tongue and shame colouring your cheeks.

You'd deleted Tinder after that.

But you haven't seen him bring home a girl in ages. Maybe one too many overnighters has kicked him into high gear for finals? He'd stopped dating months ago though, right around the time you two had started to become closer. Exams weren't considered a threat then, and you're certain he didn't-slash-still-doesn't have a long term girlfriend.

So maybe...

Maybe he's remained celibate in an act of solidarity for you? Not realizing you're abstaining from sex with others because of him?

Probably not. But a possibility nonetheless.

Whatever the case, you know you need to shoot your shot and fast. Normally Jungkook’s the one who makes the move, and you’re all too happy to let him take the reins. But this time feels different, and you know your shyness may be coming off as impassiveness or disinterest in his eyes.

You need to act now. You don't want your hopes for your Still-Hot-But-In-A-Relationship Girl Summer to crash and burn. You've been putting this off for too long, and you know he's not going to wait around forever.

A man like him only comes once in a lifetime (but makes girls come thrice in one night, if the screams are any indication).

So, gritting your teeth, you finally bite the bullet.

"Cool. Um, thanks. For the pizza too. That's really... sweet of you." You struggle to find the words, mentally damning Jimin to hell for working you up about your inability to ask him out. "If you want, afterwards we can... maybe watch a movie together? Or something? I have a chess board too if, you know, you're into that. My grandma taught me how to play. She's the one who gave me the board, actually. Well, bequeathed me the board. In her will. She's dead now, so..."

You've never really asked someone out in person before (Tinder allowed you to hide behind typed words and the bars offered liquid courage) but you're pretty sure that's not how you're supposed to do it. Who in their right mind brings up their deceased grandparent when asking someone on a date?

You do, apparently.

If Spidey laughed at you now, you honestly wouldn't blame him. You'd kill him, of course, but you wouldn't blame him.

However, rather than the insufferable insect, it's Jungkook who loses his shit.

God, he has a great laugh. It bursts out of him like sunlight after a thunderstorm, colouring your world with light. He shakes against you, head rested on your shoulder as he struggles to contain his melodic amusement.

When he finally does sober, you can practically hear him grinning. You don't know whether to feel hopeful or embarrassed or like you've just dug your own grave.

You decide you feel all three.

Eventually, through lingering fits of giggles, Jungkook manages to say, "Sure. A movie sounds great."

Your heart stops. Restarts. Stops again. And then sings.

You just asked Jeon Jungkook out. And he said yes.

Your mind is equivalent to a keyboard smash. All caps, symbols included.

"I— " You can barely think, much less speak through your megawatt grin. "Okay. Awesome. That's... great. It's a—" Date, you want to say. You fumble last second and finish with, "—movie. It's... a movie."

"Nice solve, Sherlock."

"Shut up."

You hesitate for a beat before moving to step out of his arms. It seems like the right thing to do. Besides, you're itching for your apartment to be spider-free — and, more importantly, to see Jungkook's expression. To read his emotions with your eyes.

Only before you can fully disentangle your limbs, you find yourself being snapped back into place, your back against his chest, his hand steady and sure on your waist.

"Now hold on just a minute," Jungkook simpers, voice rich and smooth like melted honey. "I don't just offer my exterminating services to anyone, and I sure as hell don't work for free."

"Fair enough." You shrug, attempting to appear calm and collected. You are anything but. "Name your price."

"What's the magic word?"

"What are you, five?"

"Says the girl who doesn't know how to do basic counting. One word, not four."

You angle your head to glare at him.

And the world disappears.

He's close — so close your noses bump and his dark fringe tickles your brow. You take in the flecks of gold in his own, twinkling with mischief and unspoken emotion. The curve of his mouth, pink and wet from his tongue, upper lip overshadowed by his lower. The little scar on his cheek, the faded blemishes of pubescent acne, the cute little mole on his lower lip. All of the quirks and imperfections that make up the man before you.

And you adore them all.

God, how disgustingly whipped could you be.

Your tongue is leaden in your mouth as you swallow, sifting through the sludge of your thoughts. No louder than a whisper, you say, "Please?"

Jungkook's eyes shutter. A muscle feathers in his jaw. He leans even closer, eyes darkening as they bore into yours and you think you might very well just melt into a pile of goo.

"Wrong," he breathes. Then he smirks. "The word was tarantula."

Jungkook chokes on the elbow you jab in his gut.

"That was mean," he punctuates as you finally turn to face him. While you're frowning, he's grinning like a madman. "So this is the thanks I get for being a gentleman."

You roll your eyes. "Let's get this show on the road. That spider won't kill itself. Trust me, I tried."

"Giddy up, cowboy."

He earns himself another glare.

Jungkook takes the lead, acting like a complete doofus as he holds one hand to his ear, pretending he's receiving instructions from a secret agency through an earpiece. He even pretends to box with the spider, throwing crosses and punches and ducking as if Spidey is fighting him back.

But Spidey’s not paying attention to him, and neither are you. You simply trail behind him, pinching the hem of his sweater to make sure he doesn’t stray too far. Your focus remains on that god forsaken insect and the thousands of ways you want to make it pay.

Consequently, you miss his glances back at you and the way he mumbles cute under his breath.

The two of you give a wide berth to the kitchen island, opting instead to pass through the open living room. It's then that you notice how messy the space really is. Sure, you and Jimin took turns on clean up duty, but with exams fast approaching, cleanliness had taken a backseat to studying. The dishes are dirty, the couch cushions are overturned, and Jungkook nearly trips on one of Jimin's hayward shoes. You don't even want to think about the state of your room.

"Love what you've done with the place," Jungkook comments idly, picking his way past a stack of textbooks that litter the floor.

You flush a deep red.

Reaching the opposite side of the cramped kitchen, Jungkook places the tray of pizza on the counter and grabs a glass and some paper towel. An interesting and foreign torture technique, but you're excited to see where it leads.

You cower behind his frame as he begins to inch towards the spider, peeking over his shoulder every couple of seconds to track his progress. This close, you realize just how big the critter is. It's hide is dark, it's legs long and spindly, and it's body and wings average out to the size of your palm. Easily one of the biggest spiders you've seen in your life; easily one of the most terrifying creatures in the world.

You hold your breath as you finally reach the counter. Your muscles lock in place, anticipated for the worst. If need be, you're prepared to jump ship and bolt for your life.

With Spidey focused on munching on a piece of meat, he's completely unaware as Jungkook lowers the cup to the counter, effectively trapping him in a glass cage. Seconds later he freaks, batting his wings and throwing himself against the glass from all angles, but it's no use.

Spidey wove his web, and now he must lay in it too.

"Wow," you say, disgust and awe heavy in your tone as you watch the spazzing ball of black, now destined to become a glorified plaque on some bug collector's wall. "That was... anticlimactic."

Jungkook shoots you a look. "I can always lift the cup and we can try again—"

"No!" You hastily shake your head. "I meant anticlimactic in a good way."

"So like edging an orgasm?"

You balk at the vicious smirk that twists on his lips, and suddenly your mind is racing with thoughts of silk sheets, phantom touches and the undoing of celestial galaxies. The space somehow feels smaller now, hotter. As if charged and humming with electricity.

"Sure," you breathe, swallowing thickly. "Not sure why that was the analogy you thought of but sure. Like edging an orgasm."

Something dark flashes in Jungkook's eyes, but he turns before you can weigh it. While he carefully slips the piece of paper towel beneath the cup, you work to steady your breathing. Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Repeat. Happy, pleasant thoughts.

You finally release your grip on his sweater as he turns to face you, the glass resting on the paper towel, flat against his palm. Spidey is still trapped inside, though he no longer moves. He stands motionless, almost as if he's accepted defeat.

"Any last parting words?" Jungkook asks.

You carefully lower yourself to eye level with Spidey. Though you can't see his eyes, you imagine the fear that must play there, fear you yourself had felt only moments ago. It brings a saccharine smile to your lips.

Oh so softly, like the silk of a spider's web, you taunt, "Out came the sun and dried up all the rain, but the itsy bitsy spider was never seen again."

Spidey bows his head.

“Spoiler alert: the itsy bitsy spider dies a horrible, painful death.”

“No he doesn’t.” Jungkook frowns at you. “He’s set free and offered a chance at redemption.”

“A chance at revenge, you mean.”

“That spider must really bug you, huh?”

The pun flies right over your head.

“Seriously?” Jungkook rolls his eyes. “Okay, well if that does happen, which it won’t, I’ll protect you.” Noticing your pout, he lifts his hand and gently tips your chin so that you meet his gaze. “The spider’s not going to hurt you while I’m here.”

“You promise?”

“Scout’s honor.”

Before you even register what you’re doing, you brush a chaste kiss to his cheek.

It takes Jungkook three whole seconds to reboot.

The two of you make your way out of the kitchen and through the living room. You stop at the wall of windows that houses your miniature garden and overlooks the bustling city life below. With a grunt, you shove a window open, and Jungkook carefully releases Spidey into the open air.

For a one horrifying second, you think the critter will come zipping right back in, intent on finishing what he started. But Spidey simply floats in the air for a moment, lingering in farewell, as if to say, "until we meet again."

You flip him off. "Rot in hell, Spidey."

And then he's gone with the wind.

You sigh and brace your hands on the windowsill, leaning your face out into the balmy breeze. The streets below hum with life as cars and pedestrians hurry through the lights and shadows, the hours of the night stretching far ahead of them. The stars twinkle overhead, and you feel comfort in their embrace.

"See?" Jungkook says, and you cock your head to face him. His back is to the window, arms braced behind him on the windowsill, fingers resting mere centimeters from your own. He grins. "That wasn't so bad."

"Easy for you to say. You're not the one who caused hundreds in property damage to your door frame."

"Nothing a coat of paint can't fix. And hey, on the bright side, at least mother nature now knows how forgiving you are."

You laugh at that.

The two of you fall silent as you gaze out into the world below. It's the nice kind of quiet, where words aren't needed nor wanted to fill the space. You simply just enjoy each other's company.

You let your mind wander, mulling over your plans for the rest of your evening.

Your movie night with Jungkook.

Your date with Jungkook.

At least you hope it's a date. But you'd talked more about your dead grandmother than what tonight was actually defined as, so you're not too sure what to think anymore.

All the more reason your movie choice is so important in setting the tone.

If it's a date, you should probably pick a horror film. That gives you ample excuses to be near him and bury your head in his chest. Kissing him through all the scary scenes would be an added bonus.

Then again, GhostBusters gave you nightmares for weeks, so maybe you should watch a comedy? You know Jungkook loves a good laugh, but that kind of kills the date vibe you're hoping for. Especially if he's more invested in the movie than he is in you.

Romance then? Romance is pretty safe ground and clearly defines what you're hoping tonight will end off with. But what happens if there's a sex scene? Are you just supposed to awkwardly sit there and watch soft-core porn with your crush? Or are you supposed to make like monkeys and monkey-see-monkey-do your way through the movie?

You're starting to panic. Oh God, what if you're just overthinking this and Jungkook only sees you as a friend? What if he really is staying celibate for you because he's such a good buddy? A perfect pal prepared to pitch his penis for your purpose?

What if a friend is all he can ever be?

You whip your head to face him, hoping to see something — anything — in his gaze that will help quell the storm in your chest and tell you yes, don't worry, he likes you too.

Only he's close. Far closer than you expected.

Close enough to kiss you.

You're surprised when he actually does.

You stumble back, eyes round as saucers, hand clamped over your mouth. "What are you—"

"Sorry," Jungkook cuts in, pale as a sheet. He looks like he's going to throw up. "Oh God, I wasn't thinking. When you kissed me on the cheek, I thought that— you just look so pretty and shit, Y/N, your smile. I just... fuck. I'm so, so sorry."

Your mind struggles to catch up to your heart, which thrashes in your chest like Spidey once did in his cage.

"You just..." You swallow, brushing your fingertips against your lips. They tingle with memories of his touch. "You just kissed me."

"I know," Jungkook whispers, something like fear and regret tinging his tone. "I was there."

"Why?"

You scramble for your thoughts, but they slip past you like sand through your fingers, leaving you reeling. "Why did you, um, do that?" You flush. "Not saying that it was bad or anything. Or that I wouldn't want you to, uh, do it again. But..."

"Because I like you, Y/N," he confesses, staring at you with those wide, starry eyes of his. So full of worry and earnestness and adoration. "Like, a lot. So much that it scares me. I've wanted to kiss you since the first day I met you."

You freeze, churning over his statement. His confession. To you.

"You like me?" You parrot. "As in my personality?"

"I was surprised too." The tentative smile that had been teasing his mouth suddenly sags in horror as he realizes something. "Shit, please don't tell me I read into this wrong and that you don't actually—"

"No!" You cry out, louder than you'd intended to. You flinch as your voice almost seems to echo around the apartment. "No," you say softly. "I too feel those things. About you. About liking you, I mean. Just— what I'm trying to say is that I like you too."

Jungkook blinks. "You do?"

"Yes, and I've also wanted to kiss you since the first day I met you."

Your heart is pounding wildly in your chest, so loud you're positive he can hear it. He must hear it, hear the way it's screaming, singing, chanting Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook over and over and over again. Your heart is his to have, whether he takes it, breaks it or leaves it to piece itself back together. Because really, your heart has only ever belonged to him.

Jungkook's smile is earth shattering.

And then he's scoffing and saying, "Wow, Y/N. How original. Get your own confession."

You nearly choke. "Oh, I'm sorry. Do you have a patent on confessing to someone? Would you rather I not like you back?"

He chuckles, pulling you closer by the hem of your T-shirt until you stand between his legs. While your hands naturally fall to his shoulders, his own smooth over your upper thighs and waist, resting just above your hips. He gazes at you, and you see yourself in the stars in his eyes.

"No. I'm very happy you feel that way."

You grin like a fool.

Something intangible hangs in the air as you silently drink in the other, basking in the golden glow of your shared confession. Your chest is so full it feels like it might burst open. A piñata of rainbows, glitter and goo that some kid is relentlessly pounding with a baseball bat.

But while Jungkook's smile still lights up the room, his eyes flicker, their warm coffee tone easing into a dark, rich chocolate. His gaze travels lower, lower still, until he's staring at your lips with unmistakable want. Need. Hunger.

His own, you realize, are pink in sheen in color and looking oh-so-kissable. You wonder if they taste as good as they look.

So, to properly convey your interest, you slowly shift your hands, dragging them across his broad shoulders to cup the column of his throat. You feel his pulse stutter beneath your thumbs, gooseflesh rising on his skin as your fingers toy with the soft hair at the nape of his neck. His nails dig into your sides and you relish in the mixture of pain and pleasure. You hope there's more to come.

"Jungkook," you whimper, snagging your lower lip with your teeth.

The effect is so fast it's almost comical, and the boy is drawn to you like a magnet, dipping his head so that his brow rests against yours. You loose a breath, tilting your chin so that your mouth is inches away from his own.

"This is the part where you ask if you can kiss me again."

His throat bobs. Gently, as if you're made of glass and could shatter at any second, he curls a strand of hair behind your ear, palm coming to rest on your jaw, thumb stroking your cheek.

"Y/N," he breathes, mouth ghosting over your own in the smallest, softest of touches. "Can I kiss you again?"

"I mean, I guess I'll allow it—"

Jungkook shuts you up with his lips upon yours.

The kiss is slow, warm, patient, as both of you tease the waters of this newfound feeling. There's room for air as you part between kisses, savoring the taste of the other before the pull is too strong and you're drawn back in. His lips are soft and chapped, mouth hot and pliant, desire unyielding as he pulls you even closer, wrapping his arms around your midsection and holding you to him. You can feel his heart racing in his chest, beating in time with your own.

How idiotic could you have been to think your silly little daydreams would ever compare to the real thing. That they'd be sufficient balm to ease the ache of want, no, need to have him with you. Because the way he holds you, kisses you, touches you, breathes you in like a man starved of oxygen has you wondering just how brainless you could have been to wait this long to set your heart free.

And then you're grinning against his mouth, a smile which he slowly reciprocates until it becomes hard to kiss him through clashing teeth and breathless giggles. But you don't care, overcome with the realization that this is real, that he's real, and that this is not just another one of those nights of you calling a stranger by his name.

But somewhere along the way, the laughter eases into mewls and sighs, teeth now nipping and biting at lower lips, only to snap the flesh back and dive in once more. His hands are everywhere; tangled in your hair, smoothing down your sides, tracing patterns on your skin that you swear remain burned there even after he's moved on. You clutch him close, head spinning in delirium. You need more.

But the kiss truly is nothing but innocent.

That is, of course, until Jungkook shifts ever so slightly, and you can feel just how excited he is between his legs.

He quickly pulls away. His eyes are glossed over, cheeks pink, lips swollen with a delicious rosy hue and God, how adorably fucked out he looks by the most tame of kisses.

"Y/N."

Your name is no more than an exhale of air on his tongue. A tongue that nervously digs into his cheek as he gauges your reaction. A tongue that you so desperately want everywhere; in your mouth, on your neck, on your tits, lower, lower, lower.

Your hand, as if possessed with a mind of its own, traces that very same path on Jungkook, trailing down his neck, over his pecs, across his abdomen to his hips where you feel his —

Jungkook rips your hand away, pinning it behind your back before he yanks you even closer. You can now feel him pressing into your thigh, hot and needy, but even that isn't enough to distract you from the sheer, carnal lust that blazes in his irises.

Your stomach bottoms out.

"Not so fast, spider girl," he murmurs, smirking in that devilish way of his. You nearly come undone right then and there, especially when he brushes his lips against yours and says, "Tonight is all about you."

When his lips come down on you once more, you swear you burn alive.

Gone is innocent Jungkook, replaced instead by a confident, dominating man hewn from sex and pain and pleasure. He effortlessly parts your lips, dipping his tongue into your mouth and melding it to yours in such a way you swear you can taste the stars. Seconds later you vow to see them too as he gradually coaxes your hips to move. Sparks of pleasure skate down your spine and pool in your gut at the delicious friction his control elicits.

And then you're both moving, stumbling across the room in a rushed dance of clutching hands and desperate kisses. You break apart long enough for Jungkook to shuck off his sweater, and even then it's not nearly enough time for you to properly admire his toned physique before he's upon you once more. His hands slip up under your shirt, skimming feverishly over your skin and expertly unclasping your bra before that, too, joins the mess of your apartment.

He only diverts his attention from you to rid the couch of its contents, kicking pillows and notebooks aimlessly about the space. His hands always remain on you, on your ass, on your tits, squeezing and grazing the soft flesh until you're reduced to a whining, whimpering mess.

Something snags his attention and he snatches a magazine, briefly scanning it's contents before releasing a dark chuckle. "Ten Ways to Make a Guy Fall in Love With You, huh? Did they work?"

You drag your hands down his chest, planting hot, open mouthed kisses to his throat. "I don't know," you hum, nipping at that sensitive spot on his neck that has him throwing his head back with a groan. "You tell me."

"Who the fuck reads Cosmopolitan nowadays?"

"I do. Now shut up and kiss me, you idiot."

He chucks the magazine over his shoulder. "Can do."

Wrapping his fingers around your throat, he guides your face to his and slots his lips with yours.

Your knees hit the edge of the couch and you fall back into the cushions, Jungkook following suit and hovering over you. And then he's kissing your brow, your nose, your cheeks, your jaw before settling in the crook of your neck, lips and tongue working wonders against your skin.

You arch your back, carding your hands through his hair as he finds that one that drives you to the brink of insanity. Your eyes roll into your head, pupils blown, mouth slack.

And then suddenly, you become completely and utterly still.

For there, on the ceiling above just your head, sits the devil's reincarnate herself.

Spidette.

She's bigger than Spidey, impossibly so, and looks as if she eats children's dreams for breakfast. Even from a distance, you can see the size of her wings, glinting in the low light from the lamp on the side table.

She embodies darkness itself.

A moan — not from pleasure, though Jungkook is phenomenal with his tongue — tumbles out of your throat.

The boy, having no reason to think otherwise, laughs against your skin.

"You taste so good, Y/N," he mumbles through his sinful ministrations. And despite how hot that sounds coming from him, you feel sick to your stomach. "Fuck, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do this —"

"Yeah, me too, but— shit — Oh my God Jungkook a spider is watching us bone."

Now it's Jungkook's turn to freeze.

Your gaze never breaks from Spidette as Jungkook slowly raises his head, following your line of sight until he, too, takes in the black ball of horror that’s enjoying the show like the pervert she no doubt is.

Jungkook shoots you a pained look, almost wishing what comes out next isn't the truth.

"Is a bug seriously cock blocking me right now?"

But it is the truth, and any arousal you'd felt moments before is all but zapped from your form, leaving pure, unadulterated terror in its wake.

Eyes wide, lips trembling, you whisper, "Tarantula?"

He stares down at you a moment longer.

Then he heaves a sigh.

"Where's the broom."

929 notes · View notes

thefanficmonster · 3 years

Text

Corpse x Witchy!Reader Headcanons

Corpse Husband x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: FLUFF, Humor

Requested by @rottenroyalebooks Hi hun! I’m so sorry you’ve had to wait for so long for this piece and I’m sorry it’s not a full fic like you may have wanted - there was just so much I wanted to mention that I didn’t know how to tie into one fic. If you’d still like a fic, feel free to let me know! Love, Vy ❤

- Y/N’s always been fascinated with the spirituality of this world

- All the eye cannot see but the soul can feel, that’s what’s always peaked their interest

- Corpse on the other hand has never been so invested

- Magic, spirituality and the supernatural are all things he’s been only barely connected to via his job as a horror story narrator

- That being said, this relationship has been a teaching experience for Y/N and a learning experience for Corpse

- They had a bit of a rocky, be it funny start, but Corpse has been put in a much better line of knowledge

- Sure, he did try to play poker with tarot cards at one point

- Or mistook one of the small potion bottles in Y/N’s room for whiskey a few times

- But it wasn’t anything they couldn’t repair (thankfully he didn’t drink the potion)

- What’s been his ultimate fascination from Y/N’s colorful collection of witch equipment are the crystals, candles and the crystal ball which Y/N has emphasized is very important and a VERY prized possession

- Corpse and Y/N had a whole class which consisted of them teaching him the meaning and ability of each crystal

- Same was for the candles - they had to explain why certain candles weren’t supposed to be lit willy-nilly

- Much to their surprise, Corpse was even taking notes

- They were sorta expecting him to be half-assing this whole thing and just sitting down to listen to them to humor them but the boy was so engrossed in his studying he had even memorized majority of what they told him

- TAROT CARD READINGS

- He had never had a reading before so he was as excited as a kid in a toy store when Y/N agreed to giving him one

- And then a few more but who’s counting

- They both find the experience fun and exciting and that’s all that matters

- Yes, he took notes of the readings as well

- MATCHING CRYSTAL NECKLACES

- They got him an Amethyst necklace to help soothe his anxiety and keep him calm, though the only power the crystal has over Corpse is the power of making him feel like Y/N is by his side no matter how far apart the two are

- He loves how he feels even more connected to them now

- Constantly feeling like they’re near is what’s actually soothing his anxiety and paranoia

- He, on the other hand, got them a Rose Quartz necklace, a representation of the love he has for them and the love they radiate around them

- Seeing his infatuation with this whole new world they’ve introduced him to, Y/N couldn’t help but feel their heart melt

- They’d never had anyone show interest in their passions and hobbies

- Always used to having their interests dismissed, they’ve found great joy in their relationship with someone so loving and supportive

- They’d never thought they’d find someone who not only accepted what they liked/did, but also encouraged them to keep it up and get better, even indulging in it themself

- They believe that even if they rubbed a magic lamp and asked the Genie for the perfect boyfriend, he still wouldn’t be as perfect as Corpse

- Or the Genie would’ve straight up handed Corpse over to them

- Regardless, they couldn’t be happier and more grateful

- Their lucky stars were probably aligned the day they met

- However, it hasn’t only been one sided teaching/learning

- Having never expressed interest in video games, Y/N was clueless when Corpse brought up the subject to them one night

- When they admitted to having zero knowledge or gaming experience, he took matters into his own hands

- Now it’s safe to say Y/N’s a pro at Minecraft, Counter Strike, COD and, of course, Among Us.

- He’s still not managed to break their habit of driving carefully in GTA V but maybe he will one day, who knows

- Horror games seem to have grasped their fancy the most: Phasmophobia (which they don’t even find scary), Outlast, Resident Evil, Silent Hill etc.

- Though they do indulge in games like Among Us for the fun of spending time with Corpse and his friends

- Needless to say, they’ve been teaching each other and learning from one another since day one

- That’s how you build and sustain a healthy relationship

@maat-the-prescriptive @simonsbluee @save-the-sky @itsminniekat @hacker-ghost @bi-andready-tocry @imtiredaffff @jazzkaurtheglorious @hereforbeebo @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios @maehemscorpyus @loraleiix @letsloveimagines @annshit @i-cant-choose-a-username-help @enigmaticmaze @divine-artemis @waterlilypat @idontknowwhatthisisfam @evi-ka @classyandfabulous00 @redperson58 @lilysdaydreams @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite @axen-gers @luckygirl144 @nj01 @buddyemily @the-albino-lioness @stardream14 @gdhdkfnn @nomadicgypsyy @preciousskye @fluffysuicideunicornsworld @o-kaelin @manacharlotte @awkward-youtube-trash @lolalee24 @bonky-beerns @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian @strawbrinkofdeath @teenloves @tams0527 @browneyespinkhair @starstruckllamapuppy @daisychains012 @y0ulooked @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life @jula-pauline @melodykitty @just-that-bi-girl @crazybutconfidentaf @lowellshade @alphakees @bellero @weallneednamjesus @starryhanji @boiled-onionrings @husherstan @fockingwhore @melaningoddessthings @prettypastelpetals @haleypearce @godwhyamiawkward @y-napotat @daisychainyoonmin @little-miss-rebel3 @free-wheelin-bi-sexual @redmoon261 @darkacademic2 @wiseflamingoqueen @into-the-end @namikhai-i @nastiablr @thelittleplantlover @mirktuan @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny @vintagegothlover @easygoingtheatre @itsrandombooklover @miiaivi @emmybaybee @befourgolden @jjk-is-my-shit @eternalteaaars @spacebadgerx @princesslunalight @acequinn14 @samm48 @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa @fo-love @marishimomura-blog @therealglenncoco @cinnamonbun332 @killtherandomness @sanshinexxxsan @fee-btheweeb @press-lay @cathleenpotgieter16 @jazzydoesstuff @moonlxghtbay @forestrain2000 @hyunjinhugs @blood-of-fandoms @lovellylies @ukiyolixx @simpforhpcharacters @chrisdylan17 @parkerjisung @pedernille @theodonyous @wineandionysus @malfoystilinskii05 @morbid-x @coryisagee @jessewa26 @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365 @raeanneinwonderland @indecisive-empanada @gluttonypalace @loriane2503 @btsiguess-kpop @khaoticbunny @lucidlycactus @smiithys @rottenroyalebooks @kpopgirlbtssvt @fangirl-tc27 @fr0z3n-1 @notmesimpingfortechno @shotarosleftpinky @kunoi-chan @idk-whats-wrong-with-me @yikeroonie @goldenstarofthunderclan @poetry-and-tea @ama-do-writing-stuff @wishbonewolf @emeraldxhope @t0xick1tty @kusuinko @speakyourselfloveyourself @sophia902103 @lo-manburg @classsykittykat @dmgama @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee @btsiguess-kpop @akaashi-baby @gun-jong-simp @geschichtenfee @yerapotato-wp @browneyedgirl365 @thysagclub @sparklycloudnight @helloatomicshadow @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal @lucy-bunny17 @aaliyahh0 @katluckybear @boyleanti @straybids @franchesca-791 @cosmicstorm19 @averyisbackinthetrashcan @aomi-nabi @xlanawriter @allensimpsforcorpse

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hopefullystillatheatrestudent · 4 years

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okay so i’ve been going crazy these past few days. all about cockles/jensmish and obsessively watching their panels or reading the transcripts BECAUSE. THEY ARE LOUD. LIKE. i saw some fancams on twt and i thought people were just exaggerating but noooooooooo!!!???? so, getting to the point. you said that how do we know that jensen is performing masculinity? because jared isn’t and THAT IS A BIG BRAIN MOMENT. ON POINT. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. a particular moment from gag reel that jumps out (which you’ve talked about) when jensen goes ‘cas, you are my baby daddy’ and misha goes, ‘i know i love you too’ and jensen goes, ‘i didn’t say i love you’ and misha goes, ‘i know you wanted to’ and jensen says, ‘i love you’ WHAT THE FUCK! that was NOT a joke. yes, people took it as a joke and had a good laugh BUT I HAVE WATCHED IT TOO MANY TIMES AND IT LIVES IN MY MIND RENT FREE BECAUSE IT WAS NOT A PERFORMANCE. THAT WAS JENSEN. THAT WAS MISHA. jensen has a had trouble with the pda and being all touch feely (the breakup theory) and he gradually grew into it, accepted it and misha was right there all along, never pushed it. it was like a deancas au but tbh, 99% of destiel is because of cockles and we all know it. i just. jensen has latched onto dean as an emotional support because he tunes with it. understands it. projects on to it. yeah, i just had to say it and get it off my chest. (and what about those poetry pages on instagram? alma? what is your opinion?) btw, you have a lovely blog and your analysis are right on target.

so there is a LOT i’m going to address here(how dare you bring up [gunshot] i HAVE to talk about it now) so again!!!! under a cut it goes but i hope you appreciate my rambles anon it seems like you do :,)

1. jared vs. jensen and performing masculinity. hell yeah man. jared and jensen are both just ‘guys from texas’ but they are still so vastly different. today i actually had a revelation that i’m pretty sure has to do with me being bi. and it’s that i have a group of straight friends(that i love dearly but they care too much about hockey and pitbull imo could not be me) and i have a group of queer friends(who are also batshit[affectionate]). and it’s like whichever group i hang out with a different side of me emerges? they’re both me, it’s just that certain aspects of who i am as a person only surface depending on who i am around. however, i will say i feel like i watch what i say around my straight friends more. i see that very clearly in jensen as well. around jared during panels and on set, he’s definitely putting on an air of machismo and engages in typical guy talk. i do think an element of it is performative, because he wants validation from jared that they’re still just two dudes from texas taking on the world together despite his sexual identity. does that make any sense??? i hope so. but when he’s with misha he is an entirely different person and his sense of humour becomes wildly different. the machismo fades away, he’s way less caught up in what people think about him, lets his guard down, etc. to go back to my original point which is how j2 are different in that regard....jared does not do this. he is a constant. he does not flip a switch between ‘performing masculinity’ and ‘not’ because he isn’t performing any part of who he is. he just IS. so yeah these two are similar in many regards but there’s somewhat of a dissonance between them when it comes to how they perform masculinity because one of them is putting on a show and the other is merely being.

2. that crypt scene blooper(here just in case you need to see it again. do it. as a treat.) when i tell you i have easily seen this over thirty times??? since it first came out??? i mean it. it is such an overlooked(r*mantic) moment and it means so much more than people think it does. i’ve talked about the context behind it, and i think that’s why this blooper was so meaningful, so i’ll mention it again. jensen and misha had a LOT of trouble with this scene. the reason is that jensen couldn’t wrap his head around why dean would be saying these things, if i remember correctly, and both of them sat down and scoured over how they should play it for a while before filming(teamwork ;) teammates *ahem*). [to be honest we all know why jensen had a hard time with that scene and it is because it is blatantly romantic. rip to him but i would simply give in to it at that point but oh well] so anyway, their heads were scattered going into shooting, which is NEVER a good headspace to be in for a scene, ESPECIALLY not a pivotal one. but they had each other to help them through said weird energy on set that couldn’t possibly have invoked the best feelings, especially considering jensen STILL doesn’t think he played that correctly(but he praised misha on his performance :,) ). and with that context every single part of that video hits haRD

-’stop pulling my face towards your crotch’ i think this is objectively hilarious because it really really looks like jensen is pulling HIMSELF towards misha’s crotch. again, you’re fooling no one, jensen. misha’s wheezing laugh and the way he wraps himself around jensen is also,,,sweet??? like i don’t know how else to describe how i see it but this moment really reads as jensen, in his weird ‘constructing elaborate rituals’ way is asking for security through a physical touch from misha and he happily obliges and gives jensen what he needs. because i mean...watch it again. jensen ‘fights back’, but not really at all, actually. pretty wimpy counterattack. he literally lets himself be smothered by misha, and i would literally describe what they end up doing as cuddling.

-’i need you, cas. you’re my baby daddy’ i love having an actor’s perspective on things bc i think i can explain what’s going on here. jensen just delivered what was(in his own mind) a rotten take of the lines he’s most scared of delivering. so the scene was already messed up. therefore; ensuing fuckery is warranted to help him feel better. but there’s also for sure more than meets the eye for what he says here because of misha’s reaction after??? like he seemed genuinely touched. first of all, he’s saying ‘you’re my baby daddy’ as half-jensen, but not necessarily dean either(because he didn’t say the previous lines as true to his character...you get it), to misha, not cas. i think i’ve made this point before, but every single innuendo in the gag reels is to misha specifically, never once cas. therefore; logical conclusion: ‘you’re my baby daddy’ was for misha and it meant something deeper than we think because of what follows it

-this part. jensen’s giddy ass smile after he sees misha crack and then misha says ‘yeah, i know’ (can i just say his voice when he says this is so intimate???? like am i intruding guys??? sorry i’ll let myself out) also he is smiling SO BIG

- ‘i know’ ‘why are you laughing?’ ‘no i know i love you too’ this analysis is already so long but i still want to get into what THAT whole exchange means. ‘why are you laughing?’ to me sounds like jensen’s pretending to be affronted by misha laughing at something that is serious. and it’s serious because he quite literally meant ‘i love you’. he did. misha knows it. misha’s really REALLY good at cutting the bs and just getting to what people are actually trying to say. he has an innate sharpness to his sense of humour. so yes, misha is being 100% accurate when he says ‘i know, but you wanted to say it.’ misha isn’t lying here. jensen did want and mean to say ‘i love you’. and then he actually does say it(in a jokey way but not really).

- so yeah. it is actually so romantic??? like in a weird way jensen was professing his love for misha here?????? and that’s why this clip will NEVER. ever. get old.

3. jensen having trouble with pda and projecting onto dean: we can all call ourselves dean coded cas girls but NO one deserves that title more than jensen ackles himself. he is dean winchester but marginally less repressed because he actually did admit he was in love with his best friend and let himself be happy, and pretty early on too. one year and two months as opposed to twelve years. so. happy deancas au is correct. and yes about the pda thing: one day i want to write my own post about both of their body language when it comes to each other, but all i can tell is jensen, even in the early days, couldn’t help himself from flirting with misha, but if misha ever crossed a line, jensen would not be happy. clearly he’s come around, however. what i find sweet is that misha always follows jensen’s lead when it comes to how much affection they’re allowed to show each other onstage. it touches my soul

4. destiel is cockles fault. yeah. and the thing is everyone knows it, too. even non-cockles shippers will explain early destiel as entirely dependant on jensen and misha’s wild chemistry. and that chemistry is easily explained by the fact that misha and jensen are literally just wildly horny bisexuals who were crazily attracted to one another and were falling in love on screen before our very eyes. and when you have THAT insider info(which sounds cray doesn’t it!!!! the destiel actors are in love irl??? huh???) everything really does click into place. why destiel got SO popular when the show and actors never ever intended for it to happen.(i know some people think misha was playing cas as gay the whole time for shits and giggles, and i won’t deny that[especially considering he found out early on that destiel was why he was staying on the show], but i don’t think he really wanted it to amount to anything, nor did he care??? i mean he has the real thing with jensen, for one, so their characters aren’t really as important. for two, he loves joking about destiel because it’s a cultural phenomenon and it’s fascinating, and i’m sure he did ship it because he’s unhinged, but i don’t think it was vastly important to him either way.) destiel got popular because everyone was and is unintentionally reading into the real deal. i could pull up countless gifs that people have used as destiel proof that is actually just jensen and misha being messy. mainly jensen. if i’m being honest. the symbiotic relationship between destiel and cockles is why i’ve stayed onboard the destielcule and shellerscape for three solid months now; because it is utterly fascinating to witness and kind of super beautiful, too.

5. alma(and others). so. i do NOT want to really REALLY get into this in its entirety here and now so i will just give you my opinion on if i think alma is misha or not. also; i don’t want to mention the other poetry accounts here bc i feel like that’s a bigger breach in privacy, but a lot of people do know about alma now. way too many, actually. this is why we can’t have nice things. anyway-to answer your question-there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that yes, misha is running that alma poetry account. i am 100% certain. some people think it’s actually three people and they’re all connected to misha in some way but that is so needlessly complicated. as it goes in psychology; the easiest explanation is probably the right one. it’s just one person running that account, and it is misha collins. i don’t know why it’s so hard to believe KNOWN POET misha collins(who is known to spend most of his free time writing poetry anyway) would have created a secret poetry account to write about his intense secret relationship under an alias and also get legitimate feedback since no one used to know it was him. oh and the handwriting is identical??? you are blind if you do not see that i am sorry. and a million other things prove it’s misha too but yeah all you need to know is yes. it’s him. it would take a literal livestream from a random woman on that account to convince me otherwise. and honestly not even that because a random woman could technically still log in if misha asked her too. so. it would take a hell of a lot to convince me otherwise, clearly. that said DO NOTTTTTTTTTTTT GO ONTO THAT ACCOUNT WITH A SUPERNATURAL RELATED USERNAME AND COMMENT THINGS THAT ARE COCKLES RELATED. ARE YOU BRAIN DEAD WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT’S OKAY. sorry i got heated but god please just don’t be dumb so many people have already gone way too far

6. thank you for your lovely compliment on my analyses!!! i love doing them but i don’t know if people actually like reading them so i really appreciate it

#liz answers #cockles ask #mini analysis #spec #mine

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thecloserkin · 5 years

Text

fic rec: Where the Heart Is by Alixtii

fandom: Folgers “Home For the Holidays” Commercial

pairing: Folgercest

word count: 19k

Is it canon: Yes

Is it explicit: Is it ever

Is it endgame: Yes!!

Is it shippable: Yesssss

First off if there’s anyone who has not yet read the epic GQ Folgercest Fandom 10-year-retrospective which i still can’t believe was written by a bona fide journalist, RUN DO NOT WALK over there and do it now. I find it hard to believe there’s anyone with an internet connection who hasn’t seen it?? It’s fucking ubiquitous, there’s a finance & economics blog I follow that linked it lol.

There’s so many Folgercest stories where the tension builds & builds and I respect this one for being like NOPE here’s an explicit sex scene in the first chapter, merry christmas to MEEEEE. I thought the sex was dope but I also think it serves the important function of getting the “longing” & “pining” components out of the way so we can take seriously that the whole “go on the run & get fake married” proposition is a big ask. Luke asks Lexie to come away to Africa with him, and it takes her the seven days of Christmas + New Year’s to say “yes” (with Auld Lang Syne playing in the background)—ngl I may have emitted an actual squeeing noise when she said yes.

The setup for the New Year’s Kiss occurs as soon as Luke arrives home from Africa:

”it’ll be our first New Years after turning 21. We rented a limo and everything. Jane and her boyfriend just broke up a couple of weeks ago, though, so we have an extra ticket if you want to come."

This is pretty nearly “I accidentally-on-purpose brought my brother as a date” territory—it’s not the Most Formal of Formal Events like a wedding but it still puts her brother in a role her romantic partner would normally occupy, and we can expect either (1) lots of “is he single??” female interest or (2) fake relationship!!! Spoiler alert there wasn’t enough fake relationship to satisfy my trope-loving ass but when he let his teleconferencing coworkers assume the hot girl who wandered into camera range was his girlfriend that made me a happything.

It’s a very absorbing story with gobs of Catholic guilt thrown in but the thing that shook me most about this fic is probably that the alternative to “another round of morning sex” is “let’s build a snowman.” Like!!!! Could anything have been better calculated to push all my buttons.

Luke didn't expect to return to find her still a virgin--hell, he's not even sure she was a virgin when he left. Still, he can't help wonder how many times she's done this, with how many boys, and feels an incredible irrational, hypocritical resentment against them for defiling his sister.

This, THIS right here is what I came for. She’s still his baby sister and he can’t turn off a lifetime’s worth of protective instincts even if he’s the one defiling her now. It crops up again with his discomfort at her holding a beer he’s like is she even old enough to drink??? Lmao.

Btw I have zero complaints about the quantity of sneaking-around that occurs in this fic: They make out in their mom’s kitchen when Mom herself could pull into the driveway at any minute!! They park the car in the woods and give each other handjobs!!! Incredible. “What are we, teenagers again?” Luke wonders, and the entire point is they’re not, even if the woods are crawling with teenagers they are adults, and they’re making up for lost time. Luke made a conscious decision five years ago to leave rather than initiate a relationship with Lexie:

”I needed to get away so I could find myself. But, yeah, one of the things I needed to get away was that I couldn’t help spending every moment thinking about how much I wanted to fuck my sixteen-year old sister.”

Lexie studies him, curious. “And did that work?”

Luke shrugs. “Did I stop thinking about it? No. But at least it kept me from doing something I would regret.”

Lexie nods, thoughtful. “I’m not sixteen anymore, you know.”

“You’re still my sister,” he points out.

Oof. It’s a very different dynamic when you try to navigate these shoals as adults, instead of the scenario where you move seamlessly from platonic forehead-kisses to tongue-kisses. I appreciate Luke for attempting to do the whole courtship dance, take her out to the skating rink and the fancy French restaurant and meanwhile Lexie just wants to cuddle.

He said, “You never opened your present yesterday.” She smiles at him, a lascivious grin. “I really think I did.”

Damn but this callback to the iconic “You’re my present this year” line is unalloyed genius.

I did not expect this OC their cousin Gwen to play such a big role. She’s crushing on Luke and she ain’t subtle about it and since Luke can hardly tell his cousin “I’m not interested because I’m already fucking my sister,” the whole situation makes for comedic gold. At one point Lexie makes a quip about her and Gwen having similar taste in men and I was DYING:

“Oh, she was hitting on you hard,” agrees Lexie, “Not that I can blame her. She doesn’t know you’re already taken.” Luke puts his head in his hands. “God, this family is so fucked up.” “It could be worse,” points out Lexie. “It could have been Aunt Mary.”

That Lexie has got quite a mouth on her. The point of Gwen isn’t that Lexie feels threatened by her interest in Luke; it’s that Gwen may be a vexatious person who inserts herself where she is not wanted but she’s still family, and Luke and Lexie choose to take her wasted ass home with them rather than allow Gwen’s mother to witness her inebriated condition. Because you stick by your family. Even if it cuts into your limited one-on-one time with bae because now you have third wheel Gwen.

Side note I love that Luke is a huge nerd who’s lugged a whole roster of interesting books back from Africa, I realize this is a Folgercest fic and not a book blog but I swear my TBR just grows of its own volition. The payoff for all this geeking out on Luke’s part is, he gets a concussion and has a pretty surreal dream featuring some real, some fictional characters, and a good dollop of his own id. Later on, Lexie and Luke are quoting poetry at each other and when he casually dropped a line from’Tis Pity She’s a Whore I was legit s c r e a m i n g. For those of you who aren’t familiar with it, Tis Pity She’s a Whore is a Jacobean revenge tragedy prominently featuring a pair of incestuous siblings and while the genre is incompatible with happy endings, the incest is not presented at all unsympathetically. It’s worth reading even if you’re not into incest, it’s that wild of a ride.

All right folks this is how we go out with a bang:

The last five years--the last twenty-eight years, really--may have been long and difficult as he was forced to lose and find himself, but he knows they were all worth it, because they culminate in this moment. This is who he is: brother, lover, and companion, until death do them part.

they’re SOULMATES i can now die happy

#folgercest #fic rec

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killnoira · 5 years

Text

𝗩𝗢𝗜𝗖𝗘 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘𝗦 ; considering alex just sent me the whOLE ASS THING , NO LONGER TAKING ASLJSG

( @manipulations says : for the munday muse thing??? all of them. just all of them queen. )

ah , ur trynna kill me huh

001 : what is something your muse loves ? getting into people’s heads .

002 : what is something your muse hates ? righteous bullshit & passing out

003 : talk about a significant relationship your muse has with another muse . girl u already know i gotta go off about billy & calli .... it’s been like a week or so of writing & they’re already ?? such a dynamic ?? wtf ?? so all u in the dark only bc i haven’t had time yet to go off about this ship in my art , posts , graphics , or WHATEVER yet .... calliope gravitates to billy , because she relates to him in enough ways to feel .... right , somehow , by this mongrel of a guy’s side . but ! he’s different enough to entice her . he makes more of an impression with her than any past lover to date . his snarky , rotten mouth amuses her . his raw , explosive fury is deliciously enticing to her . she WANTS to keep coming around . she WANTS to see what he’s up to -- she WON’T go more than 3-4 days without budding into his life & mingling with his equally (?) sour soul . whether they’re flirting , throwing total shade at each other , or .... both . while sometimes annoying , the way he won’t fall as easily as other guys; the way he doesn’t cave for her like she intends , but still reacts in interesting ways excites her . all people thus far to her , are toys . he’s something new .

004 : talk about your character’s positive traits . intelligent / thoughtful passionate / ambitious / crafty & creative / open - minded / unconditional lover photogenic / charismatic / trendsetter / good listener

** 005 ALREADY ANSWERED !

006 : does your muse have any hobbies ? vandalism / black witchcraft arts & crafts -- oil impasto , ink wash , clay sculpting , a little bit of taxidermy / smoking / occasional drinking , completely uncaring for the law / urban exploring / gardening / walks at night / nature - y walks in general / reading / writing poetry / making friends with corvids ; more often crows & ravens -- apparently they’re easier to make friends with / museum trips / the occasional underground shows / preserving plants .

007 : how does your muse feel about their family ? she’d say they could die in a fire but she reckons she gave em a death to top any other they could’ve possibly suffered through .

008 : how does your muse feel about their friends ? what friends ?

** 009 DOES NOT APPLY !

010 : what do you think of your muse’s canon ? i’ll prob rework & add onto the spiral which drove her to murder her own parents , & probably include the nun . perhaps throw another relative into the mix who caught wind of her ill acts & tried to do something about her . rework the whole getting out of that psyche ward arc .

011 : is there anything people assume about your muse , or any fanon that annoys you at all ? hasn’t happened here , or in a long time on any of my blogs , but i rlly don’t like when the only interest in my ocs is their sex appeal , & hopes for smutt on the spot .

012 : what does your character do in their free time ? i think this basically ties into hobbies .... right ???

013 : what is your favorite thing about your muse ? i love how strong calliope’s presence is . her mannerisms do the trick alone , but she’s got a mouth on her which will reinforce that dark aura . i also love how her eyes always look tired yet .... like ... a few notches away from bedroom eyes ?? i f that makes sense ,, is she sending you signals or is she sleep deprived ? all you get to know is these bags are designer ,

014 : is there anything you dislike about your muse ? i mean , ofc i don’t agree with the shit she’s about . she is not a good person . calliope is absolutely wretched . but she is a fictional creation of my imagination ; i’ve always had an affinity for dubbing villainous characters my favorites since a wee bab . i love her :)

015 : if you could say one thing to your muse , what would it be and why ? teach me to have your self esteem pleas :(

016 : talk about a headcanon you have for your muse . had her first pet at an age somewhat younger than ten . maybe a rabbit . when it died she didn’t really feel much . she buried it not long after it passed , like cleaning up a mess . her parents were never home enough to notice her pet was missing , or even remember she had one . until they caught her digging up rabbit bones on one of their very , very few days off . it was probably her father who noticed , & felt a certain way about it ( the way she calmly explained what happened / what she was doing not helping ) to the point of having thoughts of the potential his daughter might need psychiatric help some day . he doesn’t voice this . he doesn’t want to have the conversation with his wife yet .

#meme answers .#about .#canon .#alex wht the F U C C #jk lowkey highkey r so thankful #this was so fun !!!!#no way im coloring this ;alksjlsgjs

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herfiles · 5 years

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2020 Dream Board

Here is my 2020 dream board!

1. Hobbies

i am a dancer and it is sadly my last year dancing for my high school competitive dance team so hopefully my college has a dance team, when i visited i did not hear of one but hopefully there is, if not i can always do it on my own time :)

i LOVE photography and i hope to buy my own camera some time so i can continue taking pictures with an actual nice camera and post those photos here to share :D

i have been writing poetry and stories since 7th grade which was a long ass time ago (2014 to be exact) and i have been slacking, i admit i’ve been slacking on my writing but i hope to re-continue some of written works and possibly start new one’s.

2. My YouTube Channel and Personal Blog

so i want to start an official yt channel and actually post videos and do stuff, so i’ll be getting around to doing that, i’ve already created a business email and everything so im excited. yt’s always been a really nice past time and its great platform (to an extent) for content creators soooo hopefully i get around to making my first video soon!

so as you can see i’ve started my own personal blog so i can check this off my 2020 dream board but i’ve always wanted something kinda like this where i can post,share my personal life (not 2 personal tho) feelings, opinions with other people who don’t necessarily know me personally and i can hear what they think and you get the point so this is gonna be fun.

3. Body Goals

so it’s been my goal for awhile, and i’m sure it’s been everyone’s new years resolution at least once to “lose weight” i’ve been on a weight loss journey since 2013, and i’ve been through many ups and downs along the way including two eating disorders (which i am currently in recovery for) growing up i’ve always been on what people now call the “thicker” side, so i want to slim out my waist and stomach and get my booty a little more firmer ig. My waist has slimmed out due to my e.d’s but i wanna do this in a more healthy way.

4. Luxury Items

i have always been a big fan of Coco Chanel, she is such an inspirational woman and i’ve watched so many documentaries about her and i just love her, so i want to buy some chanel products, especially for my birthday. i want to buy a pair of chanel stud earrings for my 18th birthday (with my own money) and possibly invest in a chanel bag and/or the chanel #5 perfume.

5. Piercings

i want to get more ear piercings lmaoo XD that’s it for this one

6. Closet

now that i’m moving away from the nest and going into college very soon, i will be donating a lot of my clothes that i dont want anymore to a goodwill maybe, and that means starting up a new closet, so i am currently browsing and looking around for clothes that are more of my style or really a style that’s more personalized.

7. Tattoos

i’ve been thinking and planning my first tattoo for two years, now that sounds fucking ridiculous...because it is lmaoo XD but i’ve been changing my idea of what i want my first tattoo to be and where i want it and what ink color i wanted it to be but i finally know what i want and where i want to put it so now its all about going in for a consultation with an artist that does best with im looking for and seeing what we can come up with and then actually getting it done.

8. Hair Goals

i’ve been cutting my hair a lot recently so i want to start growing my hair back out now and leaving it long lmaoo, wish me good luck with this one

9. Personal Library

i love to read, so i now want to build a more personalized library of classic books and all of my favorites. maybe i’ll make a whole couple of posts of what’s in it or what’s to come

10. Concerts

there is more than a couple people that i would love to see in concert, so if those certain people do go on tour or hold concerts anywhere near me i def want to go to them, but in general i love going to concerts and willing to go to any concert really with some friends :D

11. Electronics

i knew that you knew this was gonna be on here at some point lmao, well here it is, i want to buy a new phone for myself (also with my own money) and get a pair of air pods and a new laptop for college, simple as that ig. but very expensive so wish my bank account luck!

12. Travel

yes of course this is also on the dream board like the million other girls who make these lmaoooo, but its true i really want to travel and im planning for a trip to toronto, canada possibly, maybe a trip to harry potter world OR disneyland XD don’t make fun of me for these pls

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bloodandrosesarenofun · 6 years

Text

Dear Diary.

🎶Medicine - Daughter🎶

I started this blog as a way to keep track of my thoughts. To vent you know? The one place I could be emotional and be myself outside of people. Hell. Truthfully I didn't think those people could let me be me either.

This past few months, have been hell and heaven all in one. My brother and I don't fight so much anymore, and we support each other again, that's all I've wanted for a long time for us. We talk and we watch videos and we find ways to be deep when we don't speak. I feel better about it. My mum, is just as difficult I think. She does things like go out of her way to support my friend in ways she won't even support me. Or cry in the kitchen telling us about her depression but dismissing and belittling my mental state. She's hard to deal with, and I know I shouldn't be, but when she said she has depression, I felt so angry at her. How does she get to say that? To feel emotions so publicly? When she tells me things like I'm crazy, like I'm attention seeking, like I'm just some stupid kid, and not her child. My best friend of five years, they left me. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, and maybe I left them. The relationship had gotten so toxic, and she had gotten so cruel. Saying things to me like I would never be enough to notice it was wrong, how he never loved me. How he can't. He invited me to say something to him, essentially to groval at his feet. It was a lot to say no. When he'd said how horrible of a person I am. A lot of people have said that this past year. Even my parents. Wirt, he's something special. I feel lighter when I'm with him. Ever since warped tour it's like we could talk endlessly for days without ever getting tired of each other or running out of things to say. We've been almost inseparable in that we text near everyday at least once, and we see each other often. I've gotten so much out of being around him, and I think this is the first time I've felt so heavily that I love the person I am around somebody. I love who I am with him. I am myself with him. But I glow, I'm happy, I don't get happy for long. The other night I went to see him, and we spent twelve straight hours just talking, uninterrupted, smiling and laughing even when I didn't think I could. He saw me have an anxiety attack out of nowhere and despite my visit being to make sure he was okay, he took care of me. I found something I've never had in him. Kaneki, my other friend, has actually oddly I think gotten clouser. He's been around since we were fifteen with nowhere to go, and he's here when we're eighteen with only an idea of where we want to go. He opened up to me about his depression and I always knew, we sort of talked around it, but it feels nice to know he can tell me. It may seem dreary, but it was a way to open the year with trust. I feel like he's a friend I need, I'm thankful to have him in my life. Both my dads..they're a subject all their own and it's a mess. I still don't go to mi abeula y abeulo's house. I still have trouble talking to my grandparents at home, but I stand up for myself more. I sing louder. I'm picking back up my instruments and language. I'm depressed right now.

I think my parents may get a divorce.

I haven't written in this blog like this in a while, and I don't know if it was the depression making me feel like it's a chore, or there being too much to write. But since the last time I did, it seems crazy to have turned this blog into a writerblr, but it makes sense. Because what better way to be who I am than through my art? I'm not going to stop journaling though, because in an odd way it's apart of my writing, it's a part of my art. Art is all I know what to do with the heartache and the water, when I'm not hurting myself. I've been clean for a long time.

I almost broke, the other night, but I didn't. Because of Wirt, or because of Kaneki, or because I made it so far, or because I remember being happy I'm not sure. Maybe because of them all. I thought of how to hide the scars, where to do it, how they'd heal before I saw Wirt so he wouldn't know, I planned it all. Then I didn't. I feel a strength in that. There's a strength in that.

Tonight is a hard night. I think my mum triggered a really hard hitting depression bought, she all but called me a little runaway when I came home from Wirt's. You know, when he had to drive my ass home because I was too incoherent to pick myself off his floor let alone take my bus route home alone in the dark for at least an hour. Or wait downtown at night for an hour if my bus ran early. But I didn't tell her that, and instead of asking she simply assumed. That I didn't call on purpose or I didn't leave his house to spite her. To be vindictive and better than everyone because I see people as pawns. She said how I lie, and how she knows how I am because I'm a runaway, and how I'm naive, and how I think the world is great. As I'm coming down from an anxiety attack. That I can't tell her about. That Wirt checked on me and took care of me and drove me home for, but my mother would blame on me, or say it's a trick, or say I overreact to things. Always trying to make up problems. In the eyes of so many that should have only loved me, I am arrogant and cruel. Wirt and Kaneki are some of the only people I never feel see me that way. That I feel safe around. And my teachers. I still remember Timothy scolding the other children for calling me a girl, because I couldn't talk for myself. That'll never leave me. None of those moments will. They get me through these days.

I feel scared, because I have a meeting with one of my teachers I'm not out to, and I think I may tell her. I want poetry to be honest. I don't want to have to stifle myself or dance around pronouns, but I feel so new, and talking is hard again. I guess it's just something I have to re-learn. I've done it before.

I'm also scared, because I like Wirt, I think I do. I don't know if that feeling is going away, or if he feels the same, and it scares me, because I don't want things to be different between us, but if he does I don't want him to think I don't? I've never had a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, or significant other. I don't know what to do here or how to tell. It takes me forever to develop a crush, and little things don't last long, but there's something about him. I want to keep him as close as we are, I don't want to ruin it. But can I just gush for a moment? He's beautiful. As a person and physically. His eyes are the kind of green I want to find the right paints to recreate, and he's soft but he's resilient and stands his ground, and his hair changes colours from the dyeing in the nicest ways, it's wavy and messy and it fits him. He's got the cutest way of doing small things. The way he says my name when I've done something ridiculous, or gives his surgergical bandages quizzical looks, or complains about things in the kindest ways he can find so he doesn't hurt anyone, or laughs, or awes at me and points out my endearing traits. It's almost like he's looking at a puppy, and I get- shy? But I don't tell him to stop it like I do with everyone else. I don't feel as defensive, and I want to be better around him, I never feel like the kicked puppy in the street side. It's nice. I love the way we understand each other and the way we look at each other and the way we laugh together and take care of each other and aren't afraid to say we love each other. I've never had something like him. The things I do. Like we were in his car, and everything had closed it was late, but we rolled the seats back and leaned back in his car, and we wound up getting kind of quiet, and watching each other, smiling because we were having such a good time and also because the stareing should've been awkward, and all I wanted to do was lean over and kiss him. I kept wondering if it was okay, and being grateful the car was so dark in case my face and neck went red (for any one who's read Life and Death I blush as easily and much the same way as Beau), and if he ever looked at my lips and thought of kissing me too. I wanted him holding me when I was having a rough time. I want to just drive somewhere with him, screaming because life is exasperating some days and laughing because we have each other though, this whole week because I'm exasperated. I told him, and I can't beileve I did, when we were having a r o u g h night and finally found each other after getting lost "I hate our fucking lives! We are the best thing we have in our lives. We are all we have going for us, just each other." and I said it because my heart was in my throat and we'd gotten lost in not the best place at not the best time and spent hours either waiting, searching, or screaming and had each other's backs through the whole escapade and I'd had a shitty month and he had too and work was eh and our plans had been smashed with a hammer but we were still there, so by that point that's how I felt. I know, a mad man's sentence. But at the time I barely had any time to think about it because he was screaming too and we were just trying to drive away. Every time I think about him in a less than platonic way I just- get scared I'll ruin it, but think about if it works? Gods. I'm like a gay cliche fic but with two demisexuals. Diary it's almost six a.m. and I should sleep. As to be expected the depression won't let me sleep much. Hopefully that'll change soon. I'm sure I'll be back writing regularly so. I have so much shit to blab about and expand on.

It's sad though, that I'm already crying again.

But it's that weird sort of crying? That I have depression and I don't feel it but my face is leaking gently crying. I hope this feeling goes away soon.

Me and Wirt are planning a trip to the next town over, and I'm just hoping to have some trip where we sleep over soon. Not for sex potential, gods no we're very ace leaning and he's been walking around with his shirt off for days yet I feel like nothing (try wooing a rock and you got me. That's my difficulty level), but because when you sleep around someone there's something that's said there. That you guys maybe never would have said other wise. He'd maybe probably know about my tossing and turning and my insomnia and how I cry and just want to be held or gold somebody so I use things like my Shamoo plushie or the big bear my mum's ex gave her that she gave me (can we honestly get some positivity for the fact this is potentially not as a weird a thing at my age like when you have s e v e r e depression?) and that I need specific pillows to sleep and maybe probably that I have a tendency to if things are super bad or I'm in an unfamiliar space scream, cry, yell, thrash, or say things that aren't the most cheery and least disturbing in my sleep. I'd maybe probably learn about equally as well kept secrets he has. We may tell each other things we never would've shared before. I find that there's something about when you know you won't leave each other till the daylight, about three a.m. conversations and waking up to each other in the morning. Something vulnerable. I don't know if I trust him with all that yet, if I can tell him, or let him see me when I don't let anyone else. Anxiety attack was wow, impressive that I trust him that much, that I knew he wouldn't hurt me or make it worse when it's so ingrained in me that that's all people do. But I'd be so scared to sleep, scared to wake him with my screams, or wake up too close to him because I move in my sleep, or wake him up with something disturbing. The last unfamiliar place I slept in I literally slept on the floor to keep people from being disturbed and because I am that uncomfortable sleeping in the bed with people (but I think weirdly if I was okay with this I'd be shyly okayyyy with sharing a bed if needed? Like I wouldn't be dramatic about it in a "I'll just sleep on the floor" but maybe in a "are you sure-?" About ten times) and I woke up like- breathing heavily and saying "Stop! Stop! Stop!" and I'd bruised my arm hitting it on something and I think I was crying and I had to sit by someone else for a while and calm down before I could go back to sleep like holy shit it was bad I was literally shaking. THAT is probably alarming if anyone had woken up like whoever shares a bed with me needs a whole ass like debriefing beforehand because I seem like I'm on some shit but my mental state can just genuinely get t h a t bad. Screaming and crying and actually injuring myself in my sleep bad. I really wonder if anybody else has these problems like ask me how often I slept over at anyone's house? These issues have been with me for years.

Maybe I dread and look forward to it.

No. I think just- as fucked up as I am and as much as he's told me about how he gets at night I think it'd be a mess? But equally. Like both of us doing weird and concerning shit but also both of us supporting each other and loving each other and so it's okay in a way. So I feel like it'd be insane to be at that level with him where we'd be completely comfortable with showing each other that side of ourselves and comfort each other without judgement. I know me and Kaneki have had the weirdest conversations at those late times.

I'm a late times person.

💤

Until next time,

LHayes

Sign off.

#depression #lhayes #sad #stress reliver #writing #journal #things i write #anxiety #lgbtq #tagging mainly for myself #self harm #self love #friendship #love

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ledonggcui · 6 years

Text

Poetry Suite A Quartet of Love and Death in the Cloud

Poetry Suite

A Quartet of Love and Death in the Cloud

1 Cloud

Clouds is of solitude that clutters

Around the night of Whole Darkness

Something is revealed a scar in the Fog

Weeping thorns are ambitious

They are transmitted over in the Air

Yellow wailing of peasant women showers purple

On the earth…

Ripples of lights expand

Solitude is not a lonely piece of Cloud in holes of smiles

Not in my pants

Facial expressions stopped our Love and Pains of Shadow

Often -----------

It appears to be the sorrow of your Childhood

Flushed and floating over the Lake of Paradise

Bouts of laughs strokes the Body

Now they are gone with the Wind and Cloud

Sinking underneath…

Blue rolls over

Lightening strikes by

Sallow

Physical draught blows towards

- @ eyes

- fair plaits shine through

- pale

you have become

Beauty in the Castle of Vampires

Ghosts trains carry the Emptiness into our Platform

That was the twightlights of a Morning

Don is Goo

Closer and closer together///

This is Now

Understanding experiences of the Spaces and

Physical magnetic fields of a snail’s pace

Urgent is our Homo Sapien’s certain qualities

Tragedies yell at the yellow killing Moon.

Urgent is the telepathic trio

Shouting and screaming and hollering

Towards the Mountains of Fountain and Pines

Our intimacy spun around an endless black holy

Hole…

Your high heels are blogged

The paradise is occasional

The Tables in the house of No. 8 … …

It meant ------- being disturbed up

Inside out

Inside on

In between…

In the cherry Blossom

- there was your lust longing

- so

- we split

The birth of Darkness we shared the Same Emotion

Smile of bitterness are the Waves of blood and flesh

The bridges has splint and sprint

Good-bye! Chives have been chopped up

Both of you in triumph and the hands that stroke through

Hills and mountains in glory, which are

Darting up up up

Resplendence

The morning light is not on the Fence

Though when evening approaches,

K is agitated

The fire is pure until now

Occasional coincidence no more in the Front

Frame is the portraiture in the Paint

Abstracted

i stomp into the maze of an animal-licking disaster

that is the overall impression

in the dream, desire upsets the satisfaction of a finding that

means losing someone or something or somehow for good

madness has bid us farewells for a while

publishing is recording in the dark

our sight-seeings were simulated vision synchronize

even when we were young

when we ate and shit

fear needs not attack us, amputate us and ambush us

that is why i am looking forward to the vacuum

limbo of no-time, non-space

there will be no tortures on the other side

though that is only an image of a maze

i enter your oval and the navel in the morning

a cave that shelter from the shower

the tangible flesh burs-ted into flames

possession is not important here

love is not important here

memory is not important here

trains of abstract thoughts wield themselves onto our vision

that is still abstract in the dim lights

a vision that is a curve becomes the cave

conceives the poetic emotion in motion

harbouring our ambiguous

rendevouz

the morning was grey

Moments of decaying firefly is over the other side of the

Ocean

At the aft a swift jump is a

Rendevouz means that Nothing’s non-action

Common news together with the Sea Wind blows over

Let’s be romantic! Years toils and peasants coils are buried in the Earth

Only the banal rodents screech occasionally ugly

In a perverse high, there was a longing for the Amour of Vertigo and Delusion

The artificial sun-light is saturated in the Sunset

Smearing the Floats

Then on this side of the Otherness…

Cloud rolls by

a blind leads a blind: the end of the age of innocence

approached...

orange haze...in the distance

groan is a daze

yet the dark cloud meshes the pleasure of words

mechanically

monotonously

it is a misread dead misconception

conceivably, boredom wrinkles

they do not snore

when you listen to the void

glaringly, you are in a trance

are we together?

matrix array

a maze

you and me are a craze

the significance of the well in the desert of h-division

is nowhere

you turn around and see

nobody

is it dead out there?

sublime

patterned

underneath the moan of the moon

dots of tinkles sacrifice our pleasure of inferno

with the crater of volcano

your megalithic compound is

squared

ritual of deities - shaving

hair grows: the longer, the slower; the shorter, the faster

white noise comes again, a mushroom cloud

let's reason the reasons

when someone is lynched

hands, thousands of hands shout: ' name Anita Buddha

mantra thinks

image stinks

as future comes as a hole not as a whore

then slow motion is shot backwards

yes, man and woman have a history of shaving: right NOW

- regenerate and degenerate -

by a sex metaphor

we interpret the same texts

- those talking asses

bomb catches up with our Brahman

some say woman is cloned from an egg

no, tomb is womb, they reckon

some try to clap their hands with one hand

no reasons, no

but the ritual of shaving in both sexes, the hair

now is a hole with a whole

intentions segment to five portraits of communist revolution

- splintered shaving heads are somewhere

the talking asses, understand?

don't you mind that you don't have a mind but hair?

claustrophobia 2

god's testicles were slashed and stashed away upstairs

we are packed like sardines into a night

train travels in vain: clicking and clanking to the black and red

utopia

no, a dystopia

three monkeys were conceived in a giant leap

industrial revolution turn us into pollution

people still rant about abortion and castration

I saw your face and I bump into a grimace

kill that dog. It will not bark

lock up those monkeys. They will not rebel

in this animal farm, I am dragged behind

the black psychic of a schooner of some queer beer

It make the nation opening up

god is alive

abattoir

having acted out to kill a MP

people start to believe a 'bad trip'

constitutional wisdom is equal to black

that is white and that is black

fallen angels are being tempted by underground

propaganda, that is:

100% beef topside mince $4.49 a kilo

chicken wings $4.99 a kilo

lamb legs $4.99 a kilo

BBQ thick sausage $1.99 a kilo

lean round steak $5.99 a kilo

tender bone steak $7.99 a kilo

corned silverside $5.99 a kilo

sirloin steak $5.99 a kilo

rump steak $5.99 a kilo

scotch fillet $9.99 a kilo

- human intestines stir-fried with a bit of red wind -

I shouted

Intellectuals are flayed

Nine peasants are roasted

As my soul is cheap in Glebe morgue

2 Wonky

mattress filth lies a mannequin

wonky laugh is however a phone number

Cadillac turns the other way into heaven/hell;

shoes hanging loose with laces disturbingly fragmented

supermarket shaver kissing a pair of knickers

dream represses a loft; Scared

only too used to be scared the Ugly

mind the deviant Decadence, someone thought

no conflicts, no tragedy

absurd-um and residue of genome ...

1838 J. Hogg wed and shed his romantic crime

'ruse of reason'...

all youngsters suspected and yet looked up to

their god-father

backwards toward the Self

other side is pointed by the lay-out of point-out;

just a pair of Reebok

high-tech is now and nay

simulacrum presents the House of Disturbance and Dis-Esriture

system fails and shut down: still files are in the Network

oblivion + ignorance = wonky

Square

skeletons are arranged in a yellow rape seeds field

retch your souls out !

growth and embrace stand still in the centre of a square

subtle reactionaries rush towards/away the deinstitution

mimic smiles are zipped up on the slits of a bald head

fuck you ! you fucking dentist

as well as the liberty of a tooth

it can not undo the knot of a square abattoir

as crimson creeps in

Patchy rains drops onto your

Corny lips

She is being panicked

The Trains of Memo-ria has run in the Mountains of

Fragmented Recollections of Hers

Inferiority and suicidal lying-down over the rails for the Trains

It has ascended over some Skills of hers

She has no sensible and sensitive passions

Only beastly-like

Only too soft for being purry cat

The self-doubt on the Podium of Monument is pretty vacant

Between the Red Walls the black remembrance and shade

Uphold themselves

The madness of yours and mine twirls high over the Autumn Leaves

They seem to be decadent and listless

There are diagnostics and symmetry

But sighs of Eminence

The ring bells of the Waif Waist starts to tumble and tinkle…

Poetic weirdness is stuck into the navel of a half crescent

Pollen blows wild

A cross

Blizzard! Stunned! By your paranoid

Numbed by your endless crimson tails

I am being tickled by your Fat bums

Flicking are you in the Flame

A 3-D picture switch to a 2-dimensional flat tron

Back and forth……

That’s it

The euphoria submerged into the dust storm of

Our desert.

Yet the whirlpool of those spirals regenerate our

Very Mirage

Disturbed is the sound that drills with our twenty-one grams of Hearts

Unbearably light and low………

In the Dark of the Hearts

wisteria melts its colour in the snow

avanlanch is not for the maniac

I squint from the dark

I see the rattling plastic bags in the caravan

I am not sure of the Together of your hippodrome

on the other side;

is just a war memorial

a view with

an Attitude

in a radical flight

Wings grow later after the delivery

still fledgling

as that is not a farewell because

we have not met yet.

rainbow testifies itself in the valley

as night approaches

what we need is a dialogue

under the blue winter sky

BEFORE it get ugly

Just when the cloud draws a sketch of Innocence and Indolence

In the dark of the hearts

Sick colours are manipulated off a Space

Whiteness stabs into a concept called Love

Violence twists the Flesh of a Child

It swallows the flagrance of the Breast Myth

Milk full-cream stalks our Flirts

Screams are sick on the Hospital beds

Screech is a dagger

Darting

Through the Room unfettered

The yellow fluids frightens the Horse tails

Copper’s baton.whistles.pistols

Kiss’s women mop up the Red dreams

Chaos expands

Ambiguity sink in the sands

Repressing the Hell of flirting

Space

It tells…

Smoked lives

Nothing new will happen

Some scattered thoughts of the No.! vision from the

Atlantis is 101

Navy man smothers the young kisses of Fear

Over herself,, monitored,, is

Money substitutes of Credits and Debts is

H/er story

A strings of histories attaches to the Kite with

Five wings of rings, which is the Olympia Uprising,

Something is left and someone is reigning

Bland is the streamline of convey belt

Bitter cave of naves

Are shone in a beam

Speaks aloud spoken

- the endless wait…

with me sitting back of the Hill

protruding into the Blackness of a swan

Estuary ~

The down-trodden and mentally disturbed youth;

Ready for a Ride into the heaven of cells of hundreds of

Years confinement with the Megalithic

Monument in the Memoria of this Lonely Planets of a

Cluster’’’

Anchored for the Karma Tantra Mundra and Yantra

It is telling something somehow in Silence

Decline and reclines of Postures are those Demons’ Dances

Spelt under the Sky we try to tell a

Story; psychic group are weary of the

Glances of those strangers

It is hard to guess –

All is too quick for a lonely gunman

The grim cloud destroy the angst-driven alcoholic

Only temporary

Transitory is the soft light mix a Fix of noisy Uneasiness

The hue is an happy face

The saturation is a skirt

Is our future a Dream?

A girl opposite to the Chord is expecting

The prelude which is the Impulse

Suddenly the Bats glide in the Night of Phantom of

Imperfections

I woke up

In fright I saw an Embroidery Silk Shoe

Please do not frown

The guilt has turned into the Water Organic

Ripples is expanding in Virtuality

In Memoria, your facet is in love with the Distance?

Of a Poetic Decease that is

Vomiting the Sorrow of Longevity

Vomiting the Yesteryear’s Shadow

Plus the menstrual blood and filth

It is not the refusal of Hate

The forms and shapes of cloud on the edge of the Sky and You

Has vapoured a red stain in the Idea

I saw you are stripped naked streaking among the Walker and Talkers

In the marble cold Square

- as Shadows of ghosts are stalking you

- since the Law is slightly different to the Morality

Then the emotional clashes mutate into the Tumour in the Brains

The lanterns burst in flames

Up to the starry sky;

Wasted, tasted…

The memories of us, now and then

It’s only 40.41.42 and 43 years

Smothered are your constant stares of Emptiness

Smirks and sleeps of a visionary Image of destitude Mist

Are gone with the Wind

It flies high

As we swam down the tide

As it was drizzling.

The method of slow discovery

I did not know why before…

The only bliss

Day in and day out…

Mistresses squeal on the Industrial Debris

The Medieval Myth somewhat has wrecked itself

Into a Rubble

Crumble and tumble so far

Night in and night out

People are gossiping the Bottom Line Murder and its Compulsion…

The Doom has its end

Currently ---

We are against the Waves of Raves of indifference

We are against the meaningless freeze of Existence

We are against ---

Life is but a course of action and no-action and non-action…

They again start to brag about the Ruse of Reason and the cause-and-effect

Trains hisses and fizzes in the Metalicaland

The invisible melody is triste of Sorrow and Pieta

Standing is the Constructed Pile Driver Machine

In far and wide footling lands in the Nightmares of Drum beats of

Cacophony

Now, the Images of a dark night has set in

Cobalt moonlight chaser the Drizzles of

Universe and the Meditation of Tranquility

I am longing for…

But It is only a course of certain kind

A Trip of hearts’ journey!

The shopping spree is stronger than the Digital Desire

People are shrieking

The pollen floats over the soil of Fences

They have a running nose

The spring’s storm is a telephone buzz vanishing in the

Voltage current of the Trams

They are vocalising

We don’t need anything

As the Cat is tasting the cans from the Supermarket

The bones downstairs connects with my Hands

There is an Entrance Door of a scene of

Resurrection

That was not a reason

Indulgence is not a justifying season

Breathing hard…

Puffs of some cuffs

The finger-nails of Positive and Negative are reduced to

Absurdity

Only the dialectic pierce is tender

Dancing full moon is fictitious seven strings

The chord is wonderful

However, their Fear and Threats, still…

Then we are all posing a gesture of Danger

Life is sweet who would wish to die?

It is the raindrops hitting the Iceberg of the Antarctica

Smile is doubt

Sometimes they need calamity

Of being Calm

Fearless flames unite our Tenderness

The realistic tradition is no infinity

The transaction monetary is not telling a Story

It is but a course

The shrunk gum of Teeth shone the Sunny craze

In the telephone rings

Sturdy shade is short

In the Sky of Sorrow

Illustrating our Rings of Survivals

The moustache and goatees don’t intent to argue with

Emptiness and Blankness

We met in between the Paranoid’s Rant, Slap-across-the-Faces and photos

Languages stresses your Rouge’n’Noir

When my field of Hearts is being irrigated

Fallacy is a Medusa shakily drifting around and around

Our regrets are the early experiences and courses of Production

3 Rant

Untitled

A free-verse rant like the freckled digits of yesteryear

The vials of your jelly, across the deck of the insidious creases

Into the hearts of your ac/dc melody

The position is upset

Down the north by south-west, that is our feet direction

While we are wasted in our heads

In the sky !

The polar magnetics attract each other as if in the

Classroom of experimental in the School

Since the steam engine and electric theories were powered

Propelled and sailed Like the dark varrukers Anarchy

Without tanks, fishes and the bullets I bitten

A belt a pistol and the graveyard’s hierarchy

The skins and records

On the turn-tables spin over since the Summer of a four

Digits

Not because we are born for the Facts of Roots

Something is pretty dry

Something is moistened

Something is deep underground,

Thick dark hair expose your Hands of Azalea Red

Butterflies flutter the Sweet Life

Only the Past of Mountains hook up the Soul

You said, my stares are a bit sore

Your perfume is smelt like a font of Phantom

Your belongings is smelt here and Now

I said something

You said,,

Withered sunflowers project over the Earth

Is the mad woman

In elongated limps mermaids by the Sea

Shells breathe

Is proportioned to the Flirt

Rifle points to the Vagina of the Girdle

That is a Desert Scenery

In vague.,

Woke up in the sirens of ambulance and Lullabies

The chords complete are curvaceous

Re-constructed sounds creates another 17

Discordant notes actions of Thoughts are another Praise Song

Beauty is unified and pulled

Beauty is not important here

This is the monologue of a clown

Olympic committee is holding a conference in Sydney

Utopia has a Gang of Five and its members

The extreme confession owns a Past

Today the weather is nice, very nice

The forecast does not predict that of tomorrow

The theory is grey; the pure is takes of some film shots

Please drink the running water after you wash your hands

It is difficult to find the Water in the desert

Although the running water is bleached,

We can release ourselves in the W.C. of the cinema

The discourse of the Power represent a few Buddha statues, bodisattvas and Dories

The operas have got its tune and beat; vacant and lonely

Criterion, critic plus the footnote and commentary are superb.

Colourful environment is beneficial to the Personal Hygiene

Times has changed and men and women are equal

Aunt Guo has just opened an Auto repair Shop

The technicians are busy working

I gave the Car to the boss to relax

Step forward a bit…

Many problems can not be solved straight away

Returning to the Grassland is not impossible

Equality is always centred ; central is -

Anyhow this is a simple fact.

Until now we chatted

There is a polluted river

Talk is cheap

Words’ goal is one.

The beast in the cage tears apart the rod

For the sake of Love and Scold

Where is the Ideal and Passion?

Lets start to mention the Fear

The smashed guitar openly announces in full mouth

This is not an unreplaced melody

Her throat was slit with a steel wire.

Gimme pleasure

Vanishing faces of red and green

The lies on the Side

Drifting away from the Shore

Of my floating mortal coil

Snoozes in the copulation of Flesh and Death

Being here and now

Redenvouz in the Other Space

I touched your lips

The facial is gone in the Morning

Endless…

Another is the trouble of another

It is just a mistake

Blinking melancholy of Lips

Kissing the stairway to the Vain Hope

My wishes are dirt cheap

With you, in the Square

Heat wobbles through your swathe of Memory

Groan,purring and growl smut the Dark

Edge that eats up the 69 poses

Waves no longer imitate the mechanic

Motions

There were no Love lotion in your

Dream

night in, night out...

day by day...

Ambient embraces

Shout us a fairy tale of Floss

The nymphs swim and slither over

my Ocean

day in, night out...

We are together longing for the throbs of

No-space

Negation of a Non-space

Serpent's colours and shapes

Still

Mark and reveal the Images

Phenomenon, which are

Simple

Heat will be with us tonight

In your square

A Phantom in the Creek

Ye! The Phantom is at the arm's length

In my Spright the elf of Anna coles

Haunts the Bits and Bytes of the I.T.

A superhighway of Desires

Indolence is the 18 years old with a Top Gun

Crashed and smashed into the buffalo

Over the rocks of the Solitude

Yes! The Phantom is looming in the masquerade

With mercy, melancholy and magarain

A tongue licks fast on the Brim

The cloud of your forlorn eyes

Emotions of a 1967 erotica

Simply twists and turns

Only a U-turn recalls the Pieta, Vanitas and Las Vagas

Yeah! The Phantom is away on the window of the Desert

Our sorrow casts a shadow of Grimace

Over the Psyche, in the name of the Death, Poesy

Nights vapours the flies that

Sneak into our smell

Indolence is a sad washing machine

no no no

in the trenches of the gunshot wounds

remembrance is the domestic civil war

the parade of Woman's Red Brigade march into

the catwalks of Light Blue sore

such was the dialogue of Freedom Village

mayhem it was

Still reek of the disfigured and burned soldiers

Piled in the Square parade

Flag sings in the Plastic Flowers of dolls

Still aligned to the Meridian of the Zodiac for sure

Time froze till

A romp with the spectators

Is too much of a goose

Gliding into your Oblivion

Tragedy it was

Backward glances+flashbacks+demigod status

approximately equals the Sorrow

Of the Nuclear Mushroom cloud flirting

Yes it is true that love can not be borrowed

Armour it was !

no no no

in the trenches of the gunshot wounds

remembrance is the domestic civil war

the parade of Woman's Red Brigade march into

the catwalks of Light Blue sore

such was the dialogue of Freedom Village

mayhem it was

Still reek of the disfigured and burned soldiers

Piled in the Square parade

Flag sings in the Plastic Flowers of dolls

Still aligned to the Meridian of the Zodiac for sure

Time froze till

A romp with the spectators

Is too much of a goose

Gliding into your Oblivion

Tragedy it was

Backward glances+flashbacks+demigod status

approximately equals the Sorrow

Of the Nuclear Mushroom cloud flirting

Yes it is true that love can not be borrowed

Armour it was !

untitled 171108

means of engaging with human rights status quo by willingly taking over the

good intentions of neo-liberal state

it has increasingly withdrawn the focus strictly on art's content

to fill the gaps left with reasons why a number of co-ordinated donations

and freedom cultural and its destruction of its collections of

a collective concern

human rights struggles long after its occurence, its maintenance

it has been a collaboration's goal

successes thus depends on a concentrated

respects for different intents

and psyche, immersive drones of two-pieces

themselves, their own benefits

and recordings

the project really took off

what has been documented here is only scrapings

applicable to Spanish Magic and other factors

either in abundance or sadly

it zeros in on the process

not something more Spanish magic

lo-fi duo win over the sinks to heil spirits

and the missing links

rock the horse in 2008

80's might not have stood a chance

only time will tell.

to discover the tactics is to rediscover 465 of disused railway yards

of darling harbour and the sound of Sounds

unpoliced and unregulated in a way

the textures are shared

neoliberal going there

and traction of each in the glosses

an incredible band and a lots of bands

You say, I say

to pixy

mermaids swim against

the wind in the sky

along the ocean road of pains

ages of expectation lie by your side

slithering was your scarlet impressed

writhe-ring flowers had me arrested

waiting is a mind game

my heart sadden timid and tame

dance dance to the bass beats

our imaginations perform best feats

wicked are those sublime fairies

submarine seewees twist my beings hairy

wisteria creeps up your heart of walls

wedges squeeze your very angle of falls

my love cream molten away

be a smooth operator, you say

be a smooth operator, I say

YOU vibrate to the beats of a solo act

my kunadili is risen to the

swirls of an Union

twirls of the Ruptures

surrendering the surrendered

Gaze

I can feel your Cosmic Dance

Returned to the loop of a Resonance

Rotated to the Total Embrace of Succulence

Yieldingly

Peach-flowers have been

In bloom

In the fields of

Grace

In the steam there is a tune

A melody swishing in the mountains of Love

Pieta and Melancholy and

Your face

YOU vibrate to the feats of our Imagination

In this mortal coil

An act without audience

In silence

Heart against heart

Heavy pounding and thudding provoke the Providence

Of a taste

I can not yell that I LOVE YOU

Because you are so far away in the Gaze

I can not yell that I LOVE YOU dream-lover

Because you are so close in the Glaze

So its resonated again over again in our Cosmic

Dance of a trance

4 Seals

Seals of our six’n’sevens are stamped onto our vulnerable skins

Love is evolving

All we need is evoling Love

Objective in a subjunctive mood

Installed is the Object Love that circulates around

Such are your poses, your stains and pains

The florescent tubes brighten and dim the horns of the

Colourful ghosts runs

Thus, the rashes of our Spectrum rant in the Concrete Boxes

Thus, the innuendo of our Love is rejected, refused and gagged

Smouldering is our Love

…12,13,14,15…

Smoke is far away

It is destructive no more, you say

Come on

Groan and grunt were 12 years ago

Mystery was coming

Artery I felt and your veins I witnessed

Smouldering was the Past in present tense

Future is now and

Our futuristic worries smother a Thought

Mother tongue was arbitrary

So a spirit translates itself in the Court of Poetic Justice

After all it wasn’t a crime being a Smooth Co-ordinator

As we approached the Fed Square not Time Square nor the Red Square,

Fifteen degree

The funny fanny wedges away like the balloons of Orlando

So I looked back and saw a Wolf; Mum is talking again to me

Wicked laughs echoed in a Six_Dimensional Seascape

So I looked back over again

Nothing but a cat was teasing, purring and tantalizing the crowd

And the Rising Cobra

Music was mesmerising around us

They were pretty clicky

Then we tried hard to be nitty-gritty

The moon would not tell us all

Only the toad in the sugar-cane field illuminated

albatoir

having acted out to kill a mp

people start to believe a 'bad trip'

constitutional wisdom is equal to black

that is white and that is black

fallen angels are being tempted by underground

propaganda, that is:

100% beef topside mince $4.49 a kilo

chicken wings $4.99 a kilo

lamb legs $4.99 a kilo

BBQ thick sausage $1.99 a kilo

lean round steak $5.99 a kilo

tender bone steak $7.99 a kilo

corned silverside $5.99 a kilo

sirloin steak $5.99 a kilo

rump steak $5.99 a kilo

scotch fillet $9.99 a kilo

- human intestines stir-fried with a bit of red wine -

I shouted

Intellectuals are flayed

Nine peasants are roasted

As my soul is cheap in Glebe morgue

Since the trumpets and trombones were blown……

Feeling are the wings clipped as the sea-gals glide across the Y river

We went up to the balcony of the lounge

Thursday Thursday nights were the darkness of silence

After the underground had the times changed in the wind

In the names of the tainted Love

Uneasiness jumps jams and jinxes at the intersection of

A path:

Our hearts of wails remorse and wrinkles of a hidden Angst

Pumped 70 times per minute

When you rode the pony

When you were young

When we showered off the aftermath of responsibilities well-beings

And crises

It is called…

In the vicinity of our Brittle Dreams which are scaffolding a

Framework of the futuristic noisy tantrum

It was called as

The wind, trumpets and trombones were blown…

I screamed into the Void

and discovered the Real you

Reflected in the constant reminder of

a longing for the Future

Your Uranus curve girdles our special dimension

In the Cyberspace without your portraiture of a

Past

Concrete is the music

Yet the trip is beyond our Galaxy

Resonance is the sound without feelings

In the mist of our evening twilight

Here comes the rain again.

Here comes the rain again !

In the darkness of some aesthetic of Saxophone,

Surfaces of sensualities and shapes of Danger's

Freedom looms around

We will set free again

In the wildness of some kooky memories of Spoken words spoken,

Fog of uncertainties now and then...

Being affected has no reasons at all.

In our slumbers there once was a story

Not to be told

Your yellow smileys are coming as a grimace of

The pace of walking into the Unknown

A ghostly spectrum of mists in the early evenings

Looming in the Distance

Smile is your face of Flowers longing for the Radiance

Oh! Something is in the way

Our experimental stares are timid

Sonnet-Elf

The dark cloud dissolve some entities of elves

As I fainted over and over on the ground

Why don't we dance to the wild beats ourselves

Because last night I went up there but never found

Your moon-lit face was sunken in the tainted mirth

As I've been waiting for a tantalizing kiss

Yet what I am left is dull and plain piss

Maybe you know too well the ecstasy of pains of birth

As a sprinkle of morning dew will cleanse off painted filth

Since the congealed blood scarlet evokes to my lost mind

- Loneliness of longings and belongs within it dwells

With elf, nymph and pixy flying low

Advertising something special and spectacular for sell

Love's shadow of lust tilts from toe to toe

Ah! the purple haze shrouds your beguiling souls!

#poetry postmodern literature spoken words

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purplesurveys · 6 years

Text

334

Have you ever read the Hunger Games series? No, I was never into the series. I did watch the first movie and fairly enjoyed it. When was the last time you ran into something? As clumsy as I am, I don’t remember tripping onto anything recently. Do you enjoy dressing up? Not really. Do you live in the city or a rural area? City. I prefer it that way. Would you say you have a sense of style? I guess? I get good comments on my outfits most days so that must mean I’m doing something right.

What's your biggest fear? It changes everyday. For today, it’s knives. Have you ever been bitten by a wild animal? No. That’s a big fear of mine too. Are you close to any of your cousins? Yes, I’m close to one of them and I treat him as an older brother. I used to be super close to my cousins on my dad’s side, but since we gradually moved farther and farther away from each other, the closeness faded and we don’t give each other anything more than hi’s whenever we come over to see their family. I wish we could change that soon :( Have you ever been lost in the woods? No, that’s the very reason why I don’t walk around in the woods. Where did you last travel? I went to Nasugbu if that counts as traveling. Do you enjoy driving? If I’m not stuck in traffic for 3/4 of the ride then yes. Unfortunately that’s the case in Metro Manila. What song did you last listen to? APESHIT by Beyonce and Jay-Z. If you have a job, how often do you work? No work, just university life for the next two years. What time do you normally go to sleep at night? It differs every night. There are nights I could stay up till 1 AM, some other times I’d rather be in bed by 9:30. Do you watch a lot of movies? I used to. I haven’t found the enthusiasm to watch new movies recently. Do you like Tom Petty? I don’t really have any comment? Would you rather have snow or rain? I love both. Do you own a lot of sweaters? No, that’s not necessary here. A couple of sweaters is fine. Have you ever tried rock-climbing? Like once. Ever ridden in a police car? Nope. Favorite decade of music? I don’t have a favorite decade. Have any of your best friends been your best friend longer than a year? Both of my best friends have been around for more than five years. Even Sofie, even though I’ve drifted away from her already. Ever witnessed a murder? No and I hope to god that’s something I never have to go through. Do you care what people think of you? No, unless I look up to you. Does your room have a ceiling fan? I don’t believe that ceiling fans actually work, so no. Would you consider yourself poised? Most of the time. But when I get jumpy it’s really bad. Have you ever tried blogging? Yes. I never lasted more than four entries on every blog I’ve ever made my whole life, and I made a fuckton of Blogspots, LiveJournals, and Wordpresses. I do last on microblogging though, manifested by my being on Tumblr since 2010. Favorite television channel? I don’t use the television for cable TV anymore... Have you ever lied under oath? No. I’ve never been under oath. What are your religious views? None. Are you a romantic person? I am, but I think I would be so much more romantic if I had more money. My love language for other people is material things; that being said, I loooove spoiling the people I love because they deserve everything. When did you last change your bed sheets? A couple of weeks ago. Would you consider yourself a flirt? As a demisexual, the concept of flirting makes me uncomfortable, so no. At what age do you plan to be married? 27. I wanted it to be 25, but Gabie freaked out at how early it was so we agreed on 27. Do you eat a lot of junk food? Yes I love junk food. When did you last go on vacation? Last April. Are you resilient? Some situations. I’m easy to disappoint sometimes too though. Have you ever failed a subject before? I’ve never failed one in college and I don’t plan to. I cared less in high school so I did fail geometry, chemistry, and advanced algebra. Didn’t keep me from being admitted into the top university in the country though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ If so, what was the class? ^ Mentioned it all there. I don’t remember if I also failed calculus or not. Do you wear more bright or dull colors? Dull. Do you know anyone who has attempted suicide? Yes, and I know people who have succeeded. It’s a sad reality. What's your favorite quote? I don’t have one. Would you consider yourself mature? I guess, but I have my petty moments too. How many clocks are in your house? Two. There’s one in the dining room and the other one is on our cable provider’s set top box. Do you play any sports? Table tennis. Have you ever been injured in a car accident? Nope.

If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be? Somewhere with snow and zero sun. Have you ever had highlights in your hair? Nope, not a fan. Favorite fast food restaurant? Jollibee. In what country were you born? The Philippines. Are your eyes more than one color? No, they’ve been dark brown for the last 20 years. Have you ever caught something on fire? I don’t think so? Hahahaha I’m scared of fire so I think I’ve been extra careful this whole time. What would you consider your biggest flaw? I hate criticism unless it’s told to me super super super SUPER gently. What do you think your best quality is? I’m really good at reading people so it’s easier to understand them and much easier to detect problems. Do you enjoy listening to others' problems? I don’t enjoy listening to someone who’s, say, talking to me about parental abuse, but I do become the dump for my friends’ problems regularly and it at least makes me happy knowing I’m being a good friend from that. Do you keep any plants in your house? My mom keeps the plants. I don’t. What is your mother's occupation? She works at a 5-star hotel as some sort of executive secretary or something. Her titles are always long so I don’t bother to know anymore. Do any of your friends like your musical style? I don’t share my music with my friends. What are you most looking forward to? Friday because this week is going to be shit. What was your favorite television show as a child? Hi-5 was my shit. Are you afraid of insects? Yep. Are you cold-natured? Most of the time. How old were you when you got your first pet? I was probablyyyy 5-6 when we got our first goldfish. Goldfish would remain our staple pet for the next 5 years. Did you/do you enjoy high school? I enjoyed the friends part of it. I had a REALLY great time in high school when it came to my friends; I was lucky to have found a home in my friend group before school ended. I hated everything else about it. Most of the teachers, the close-mindedness, the Catholic education, the unnecessary calculus, blegh. What would you say was your favorite age? Year 16 was unbelievably kind to me. What annoys you most about social networking? It’s a tie between so many people who subtweet and so many people who share their privileged, expensive, flashy-ass lives. Are you the center of attention most of the time? No I hate that. What are you currently reading? Guess what!!! I can finally answer this question!!!!! Gabie bought me AJ Lee’s Crazy Is My Superpower when we saw it at a bookstore while on a date. It’s a super rare find as it’s never in any store, so the second I saw it she swiped it off the shelf and handed it to the cashier. I’m like 30 pages away from finishing it, so I also started on Chris Jericho’s A Lion’s Tale: Around the World in Spandex. Both are wrestling autobiographies, which at the end of the day is my favorite genre of books. When did you last go to the library? Last Wednesday because I needed to get something printed. Are you ill at the moment? Nope. Never am. Do people tease you about anything? Yeah my orgmates impersonate me a lot. How late did you stay up last night and why? 12 AM because I had been reading Jericho’s book. Have you ever written poetry? Only when we had to pass a poem assignment in high school. I hate poetry and only tolerate it when my girlfriend reads a poem out loud to me. Curtains or shades? Shades. It’s what a lot of houses here use. How many people have you spoken to in the last hour? Just my mom. Do you tend to text a lot? I text Gab a lot. Ever lost a great best friend? Yeah. Sofie was pretty solid during the time we were inseparable, but I don’t know...it just dawned on me one day that we have drastically different personalities, and not in the opposites-attract way. Beyond our shared love for Audrey Hepburn, our personalities were worlds, worlds apart. I just knew it was going to have to stop somewhere. She was amazing though. At the end of the day I don’t think about her or miss her a lot, so I think that just proved my point. What is your favorite kind of flower? Whatever flower my girlfriend gives me. How tall are you? I’d say a little below 5′2″. Do you own any guns? Nope. What would you say is your favorite book of all-time? I haven’t christened a book with that title. Do you think you're living a good life? I’m not gonna deny the fact that I am privileged in a lot of aspects. But mental health destructs a lot of that. It’s what’s keeping me from having a completely good life. What's your least favorite part of the day? The morning. Are you an over-achiever? Nah, just an achiever. Have you ever won an award for a speech? No. Do you tend to curse a lot? I do. Have you ever played on the Ouija board? No but I’ve always wanted to! But only with the lights on and in broad daylight. Do you sleepwalk? I did it once when I was 9. Never happened again. Have you ever slept on the floor before? Many times. Are you a fan of public displays of affection? Only between LGBT couples hahaha. When did you last attend a yard sale? Years ago? I don’t really go. Do you wish your life were simpler or more interesting? Interesting. I’m always waiting for something exciting. What goals do you wish to accomplish tomorrow? Get through my class without breaking down. Repeat for the next four days. When is your birthday? April 21st. Which is worse: going blind or deaf? I dunno, that isn’t really a competition and shouldn’t be treated as such. What was the best part of today? Welp it’s 7:42 AM so it’s too soon to tell; but right now I do have the time to finally take surveys again so there’s that. Do you attempt to stay away from drama? I like sipping the tea, but I don’t mix the tea myself. What liquid did you last drink? Water. I only ever drink water... Do you ever prefer to be alone? Some times. Occasionally I’d yearn for the presence of friends too. Have you ever had a deadly animal as a pet? No. Favorite Disney movie? Tangled or Toy Story. Have you ever been to the beach? Of course, but it’s been two months since I last went. :( If you have, how many times have you been? Way too many times. I live in an archipelago so beaches are pretty accessible. What was your dream occupation at age ten? My old Grade 4 assignments would say that at 10, I wanted to be a writer. Are you terrified at the idea of weight-gain? No. In fact I’m really looking to gain weight in the next few years because I find myself way too skinny. I can’t wear a lot of clothes because of it; I have had to give away pretty culottes to my sister, who actually weighs like a normal person. Do you drink a lot of water? Sure; I love water. Does your room have carpet or hard-wood floors? Hardwood. Philippine houses never do carpet. Do you take naps daily? As much as I can. Not daily because I’m always busy during the day. Do you plan on traveling this spring or summer? My family’s travel schedule is unconventional since we always plan our travels only for when my dad is home, so that we’re complete. That said, we don’t always book trips strictly during the summer. Depending on when he comes back, we can travel right smack in the middle of the school year, a day before my exams, etc. Do you know anyone who is colorblind? I don’t think so. Have you ever been a teacher's pet? I sort of have. I wanted to be my prof’s favorite in his art studies class because I heard he didn’t give 1.00′s (which is the highest grade you get in my uni). So I recited a lot, interpreted paintings even though I had no clue what I was saying, and had a memorized speech for our big Powerpoint presentation requirement. Ended the class with a 1.00. What is your absolute favorite hobby? Going to museums. How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Once or twice. Ever been to a tanning bed before? I don’t need that. 107,000,000 Filipinos don’t need tanning beds. Are you satisfied with your financial stability? I am satisfied with my *family’s financial stability. I don’t make money myself yet. Who is your favorite actor/actress? Kate Winslet and Kristen Stewart. Do you model your life after anything? No. What's the meanest thing you've ever said to someone? I’ve never gone over the edge with anyone because I know exactly how it feels to be told anything hurtful. Do you ever accidentally talk to inanimate objects? Yeah I say sorry to stuff when I bump into them. What's your favorite flavor of ice cream? Cookies and cream, or anything with cookie or brownie chunks. Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender? That’s sort of the dynamic of my relationship. If you could, would you have a pen pal? No. What color are the pants you're wearing? Brown, but they’re shorts. Have you ever had a stalker? Nope. What is your life philosophy? You don’t have to be blood to be family. Who last sent you a goodnight text message? My girlfriend, AKA the only person who sends me those things. Do you own any clothes that are your favorite color? Yes for black, none for pink. Have you ever been in a hot tub before? Sure. What's your favorite comedy movie? It’s not limited to comedy, but The Proposal.

In which year were you born? 1998.

#survey #surveys

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