#I have a lot of posts I'm making/editing and trying to get to. I'm just a little gal trying my best :/
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I want. Four to get appreciation. Because
Four gave a ton of unnoticed help when Twilight was injured
The fight with Wild was difficult, and I know we're all concerned about his negative view of the shadow crystal
But Four did something that no one else really thought of to help- He took care of Twi's stuff
From the beginning he told Twilight to not worry about them

So Four took care of pretty much everything but the others (that Sky and Wars handled)
He took care of Epona

Which is so very important- he took care of Twilight's horse. After her arrival at the stable Four followed up on her
And for Epona, a horse so attached to her human, having some company can help so much for reassurance
He took care of Twilight's stuff

He got Twi's shield- his bags and equipment, and organized it into one place
And he was worried. He obviously found the shadow crystal while handling Twi's stuff, but his negative reactions to it were out of concern.

Also- because of his placement in this scene


I'm fairly convinced Four was ready to start cooking before Wild showed up (since he's beside the counter with food supplies). At the very least he had the basket of fruit out for everyone -but he was literally standing with food behind him- he thought of everything
And he did housekeeping!
Wars payed for the inn, so Four took care of the inn

Realistically these boys were probably not too concerned with tidyness. Four got all of Twi's things on one table, and took care of the room they stayed in

Organizing tables and Twi's things, having food supplies ready, and opening the curtains- overall he was the one tidying up the inn
Four helped in a huge way! He took care of Twi's horse (Epona is so important), his equipment and shield and bag, as well as the other rooms in the inn
Four filled in all the little tasks that others didn't think of. He helped in ways that were needed, but not obvious
There's a lot of problems with the shadow crystal and with Wild, and I don't know what's gonna happen in the future
But don't forget this- don't forget that Four was one who stepped up in an almost unnoticeable way
Don't forget that when everyone was barely holding it together, Four visited Twilight's horse and took care of his things
No matter what develops in the future- this amount of care shown is important ya know?
.
Art and comic from Jojo @linkeduniverse au :)))
#epona is so important#Lu four#linkeduniverse#linked universe#I work with horses and#Epona is INCREDIBLE- she's extremely attuned to humans and emotions. she doesn't scare easily and can keep her cool in a fight#but it's still super stressful to suddenly be in a fairly large and populated town- separated from her person#and for such an empathetic horse? Four going and TALKING to her- gently petting her nose and just being near her#means so so much! that literally matters so much to a horses mental state in a foreign situation- just having company#he checked on Epona and gave her company like !!!!!! it's so considerate and means so much for Epona! Four I love you !!!!!#uhhhh yeah!#with the food- I don't think the innkeeper would have free/complimentary food out- but wars wallet def had it covered#then wild showed up with potions in a cooking frenzy- but four was still shown with food behind him- he thought of everything#I don't know what's gonna happen with the shadow crystal and stuff. but no matter what happens in the future- this matters.#he did a ton of small things no one else thought of it matters he cares so much didjdkdksjfjj#I have a lot of posts I'm making/editing and trying to get to. I'm just a little gal trying my best :/#so many ideas and so little time... I love you guys and this fandom so much :))#(if I said anything off or offensive let me know... I'm always nervous about that but I want to hear from you if I'm wrong)#(also you are so so cool and valuable don't forget that ok? I love you and you are important)#:)
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It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.
Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.
#BECAUSE I knew I really liked filming and editing things and doing set design and costume design (from having done little bits of that#here and there in media classes and my own stuff - i used to be a lot more into making videos than I am now). BUT I was always thinking#that a movie is WAAY to big and long. even a short film. So I was trying to think of ways I could still like#have the fun of scouting locations to film and dressing up actors and etc. etc. without it having to be a Huge Million Dollar Production#on tv show or movie level. SO then I was thinking about like... just doing commercials. Or music videos. Like shorter things where I still#get the fun of the filming and everything but it's less of an intensive long term project.#So there is an alternate version of me (I suppose if i somehow did not end up having physical and mental health issues#as badly somehow.. or like.. randomly came into wealth and was able to pay my way through a nice college despite missing#days constantly being out because I'm sick or something lol) that works in some corporate advertising office coming up with commercials#and directing or filming them or doing the sets for them or something in that general vicinity.#I also was considering being a corporate psychologist. or whatever its called.. oh from google:#''Industrial and organizational (I/O) psychologists study and assess individual group and organization dynamics in the workplace''#I don't think I even knew what the job entailed. I was at the time just thinking like.. the type of person that comes into a business offic#and gives everyone personality assessments or does MBTI or big-5 testing crap for whatever reason that some businesses get that#done for people. Really i just wanted to be in a Corporate Big Office setting yet still do psychology. Because I used to be really fixated#on living in a big city. Like the ideas of everything being walkable. picking up a coffee in the morning. walking to my job in a Big#Skyscraper Building. people watching in a huge hotel lobby for lunch. flying frequently (I love airplanes and airports aesthetically).#living in an apartment with a giant window overlooking the city. etc. etc. BUT that was before i had really BEEN to a city. Then I actually#hung around a city a few times and went places and I was like... AUGh... The Sensory Overwhelm.. cars people lights loudness noise scary#everything happening all at once. etc. etc. (though even when I wanted to live in a city i NEVER strove for the Night Life. when i say I#enjoy city imagery I mean like... in the day time. Many people who like cities talk about The Night Life and post pictures of cities all#lit up at night and clubs and dancing and restaurants. none of that EVER appealed to me. perhaps a sign I am not a real city person. Like#I am NOT standing in a crowded bar full of loud people in the middle of the night lol.. get AWAY from me!!) but I do adore the#architecture of like bright white clean sterile modern spaces like huge airport lobbies or malls or etc. I think thats what reminded me of#city and what I liked about the idea of that life. Like I always LOVED the layout of schools and hospitals and trainstations and public#transport in general. Though even then I knew enough that I would not be a good architect/city planner. so I guess my adoration for those#spaces was merely to be channeled into LIVING there. but then I realized I didn't even really want to do that that much. I mean I still#definitely aim to live NEAR a city. like the little areas outside of it. I would never live in a rural place 4 hours from anything. I liter#ally just COULDNT since I need close access to hospitals sometimes lol. But I used to want to live in the CENTER of citites like high rise#condo. and now I'm like.... eh....... perhaps a smaller quieter walkable space nearby lol.. ANYWAY.. alternate me in my Business Suit eheh
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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
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watching fandaniel go is wild because he is just [vestibular stims] [vestibular stims] [vestibular stims] [vestibular stims] and yeah man that's a mood
#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv#ffxiv fandaniel#the cutscene where he's dancing and pacing in front of zenos in the armory while they talk genuinely startled me a little#with how accurately the editing and camerawork captured What That Stim Feels Like#i'm less inclined to do Large Amounts of Spinning and Bending; and the way i get my arms involved looks different#but something about the energy to it and the center of gravity and the way he Turns when he steps is just Oh Wow Yeah Same#on one hand; surface-level he's the type of Unhinged Manic Pixie Dream Boy that you'd think would be a bit on the nose for adhd headcanons#(which would be valid anyway to be clear but still)#but like. motherfucker has adhd just look at him#and honestly i like that a lot because 'surface level' is the keyword here. he Has Depth and is adhd about it#i need to find that post about how masking doesn't necessarily mean trying to pass for neurotypical#among other things; it can look like playing super hard into Look at How Megadifferent and Quirky and Weird I Am; and yeah that's him#and tbh he kind of vibes to me as having gotten into Being an Obnoxious Flamboyant Theater Kid#specifically because it's a useful cover for being his brand of ND#'those damn wacky rich gay nobles' as an explanation for your behavior is going to get you a very different niche in society#than 'that weird dude who talks strangely and can't sit still and whose social cues are A Little Off'#'and makes bizarre disruptive distracting movements with his body while he talks'#anyway diversity win etc etc i love him#ableism mention cw#ffxivtag#FF tag
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my favorite edits - 2023 edition 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9
#ts4#simblr#once again i don't know how to tag this so...#i'm just gonna use the same tags i used last year ig#2023 was apparently the year of the monster boyz#only 3 of these are not mb posts & i'm ok with that actually#ik i've said it a million times already but#i had soooo much fun doing mb stuff this year!#i'm really excited about all the stuff i have planned for the AU tbh#like. i have a list#i'm hoping................... to get the origin stories done at some point.#probably gonna do some writing here soon ish.#i've gotta make all of the side characters still & finish the character page so idk. i'll figure it out. i have a lot of ideas#i really wanna start sharing more about the story & the boys' actual personalities so that's probably what i'll focus on this next year#edit-wise i mean. like doing lore edits & stuff. idk#making cricket's was really fun so i think i'll like making stuff for everyone else too#i just have to not try to do a whole story bc then i'll lose interest. it'll be like the degenerates all over again lmao#idk why i just hate making story posts#lore posts are fine but story posts? mm no. not for me. idk how but they are different in my brain ok#n e way#i rambled. sorry. bye lol
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Oh my god HOW DID YOU LIKE SVSSS!!!!!
i liked it more than i thought i would but overall less than i might have given the potential of the story, i think in general i really enjoyed the characters (mxtx never goes wrong with characters, she creates them in a way that makes me feel unhinged) and the world building but the pay off to the set up—which i really liked!—felt a bit........ i mean, just alright.
the dynamics too are pure mxtx, personally the bin/gqiu dynamic specifically really was the least interesting part of the whole story. to me!! but individually i loved both characters. my interest was just elsewhere because """elsewhere""" felt way more fascinating idk how to explain it
was very, very happy about the extra with airplane and the yue qingyuan / shen jiu one because that's exactly what i wanted more of in the story itself as well as just more shen yuan/qingqiu interacting with cang qiong mountain
maybe it's my orv brain but like i told jana a while back i think i would have enjoyed svsss way more if it was more about shen yuan (loner; hater; etc) suddenly finding himself among all of these people (disciples looking up to him; sect siblings relying on him one way or another; common folk admiring him; etc etc) and starting to.... live? again?
Shen Qingqiu hadn't noticed that, unconsciously, he no longer considered the disciples around him (...) to be mob characters the novel had described in a scant number of words.
^from volume one, he starts seeing them almost immediately because he's not actually that separate and he genuinely cares. all the time. about everything. even before that we get:
This was only a book, and all the people were constructs, imaginary characters. Logically, Shen Qingqiu was very clear on this fact...but when a character was actually being taunted and bullied right before his eyes, it was just flat-out unrealistic to expect him to be completely unmoved.
like why are you lying, shen yuan (<- svsss tagline if there ever was one)
just the idea of this really lonely detached guy finding a community, i know it's not the story mxtx was trying to tell but again, with the set up i really wanted to see it go in that direction.
there's one line from vol two where liu qingge goes "you fear becoming a burden to cang qiong mountain (...) but cang qiong mountain fears not your burden"
and basically what i'm saying is that i wish the story had been about THAT
(and also ning yingying's lines in that same chapter about shizun always taking on everything himself and why is it always you like that whole moment with the cang qiong mountain almost begging him to see that they care. idek what i'm saying but you know)
(also foaming at the mouth that we only got tiny tiny glimpses of shen yuan's life from before, those handful of times he mentioned his siblings i wanted to take a bite out of my kindle. tell me more!! dear fucking lord tell me more!! keep talking! elaborate!! he really felt very "kim dokja and his fourth wall" at times, sorry once more about the orv brain)
tldr: i guess i wanted a story about shen yuan/qingqiu but mxtx created svsss to be a story about bin/gqiu. and i just have to be okay with that.
#does this make any sense? no. am i still hitting ''post''? yes. sorry kay#fra.txt#fra.xml#pathos-logical#overall i quite enjoyed obsessive lu.o bin.ghe. so intense and possessive about the one person who showed him a little kindness#(so what if he also showed him a lot of pain too here and there?)#but like i said the bin.gqiu dynamic just didn't pull me in. of course to each their own#(''one person'' but poor yingying was trying to help him since day one.)#but also..... to me it felt like his arc was the least satisfying. he just.... is. whereas most everyone else seems to evolve more tangibly#right now i can't help but think of tianlang-jun. ''i can't bring myself to hate humans''#not to mention all the women from his harem becoming characters in their own right#i wish i could explain myself better but i don't have the words. sorry!#l.uo bin.ghe you ARE interesting i just feel like your story could have been more#as an apology here's my favorite line of yours: ''I don't want you to repay me. I just couldn't get over my anger''#see?? i pay attention to you too baby boy#i should re-read all of ^^^ that but i won't </3#edit: one thing i forgot to mention is that i did like the small snippet we got of bin/g-ge reacting to shen yu.an/qin.gqiu#like now that's something that immediately caught my eye it already made for such a more fascinating dynamic.#also i've seen a few things about shen yua.n (not trasmigrated) getting to meet bin.ghe/bin.g-ge and again that i would take a peak at#fully black lotus bin/g-ge coming face to face with shen ''i'm a hater but also can't help but be kind all the time'' yu.an truly pickles#my tickle. i'm sat. i'm listening. i'm compelled.
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Bee,,,,,,,, I am ill. NyQuil. Dies
Anyway, your mailman never slacks off !!!
That.
That’s not mail. That’s.
Okay.

Oh wowie!! (Never let me say that ever again.) Gressil and Raven from Ms. Freaky’s Instagram page!!! (I am anti Instagram, it is mean to me)
Raven not being a boykisser is going to ruin my whole career… I am dying… even more than I already was………………………………
When I tell you I RAN OVER TO THE SELFIE WEBSITE I DONT REALLY USE

MORE CANON SEXUALITIES!!!!!
Also dearest mutual with no name.... you neglect the potential of a QPR.
I don't have the brain power to ID rn so if screen reader is being used or picture isn't loading: Ms. Freaky released two new artworks with the characters either holding a flag or with a flag on their cheek for their canon sexualities! GRESSIL is bisexual, Gladiolus/Raven is straight, Poppy is pansexual, Oak is bisexual, and Nightshade/Bella is a lesbian!
#Homesick webtoon#fambles#asks#quintessential-candles#Tell my why it autocorrected nightshade to nightstand#Live-blogging about being sick is entertaining enjoy yourself <3#(<- girl who does that too but just makes a normal post and then explains how she is Dying with too much Detail in tags)#Good news is I'm probably not dying anymore we probably know what was wrong <3#Missed period for like twelve weeks but she came back so I probably just had/have another cysts which explains why I was in pain days ago#I don't get cramps but my organs like to try and kill me. You win some you lose some#I just realized something both of the white haired/silverish haired characters are straight#I doubt that was intentional but that's silly to me. This happens a LOT in media (like Space Boy yes that's another Webtoon I've#Hyperfixated on in the past don't come at me)#Mailman sage#Mailman saga#How did I forget to tag the mailman editing tags#It's. Saga not safe.#SAGE NOT DAFE#SAFE. SAFE I MEANT SAFE.#I'm not fixing those tags
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getting motivated to work on that kaokana fic finally and i have added like 1k this week.... so much progress for me i'm so happy
#not writing#shay speaks#not guaranteeing the next chapter will be soon i'm still unsure#of when i want to end this one and start the next#but this one is only like.... 2k words right now?#okay google docs says its 1.4k words rn so yeah#we are making progress i'm hoping to get 4k or so at least before i decide to start ch4#and then i have to edit it and all that jazz obviously.... but augh i'm just happy to be working on this again#and i edited my bb fic a lot today since my beta has given feedback on like 7 pages of that#AND i quit my job at joanns so i should go back to working only 5 days a week instead of 6#and maybe i can get more motivation to write. i think part of why i'm writing more is the fact that i qui t aamfpdiosd#i am already feeling better knowing there is an end in sight to these 6 day weeks#my boss was chill about it she understands and i'm not going to like#slack off just bc i put in my 2 weeks#but yeah. thats my life update ig mapsdfiomsdpifodjs#big bang fic is looking very nice so far after edits and i'm excited to get that out#again its probably going to be split in two idk if i want to try and finish it before whenever i end up getting to post#mostly cuz like. idk i'm probably still like 4k out from finishing it and noooooo thank u. maybe another day#it's at the word count minimum though thats what matters
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{Blog P.S.A} For New Followers
Where to Find Me: MY "ABOUT"+F.A.Q {READ FIRST}: Here (About) + Here (F.A.Q)! {People who don't even glance at these before leaving commnts inquiring about my Thoughts on Things get Ignored} [Trust Me I'll Know] AO3: Hikari AMVs Index (All Old & Newest AMVs): here! {Currently/Mainly creating for Digimon, Adventure-related franchise} [also appears at times: 02, tri.~Kizuna~The Beginning, Frontier; less often: Xros Wars {Pt 2 of original XW is my personal favorite}/Young Hunters; Ghost Game; Tamers; Wonderswan games-verse; everything post-02 mainly being original Japanese version based] Other {+Digi}-Sideblogs: izzyizumi (main Digimon blog) hikari-m (official Digimon {news+art} archiving+general Fandom commentary; Asks or follows may come from here, Depending) taichi-x-koushiro (Archiving for Yagami Taichi/Izumi Koushiro as Ship) IF YOU ARE A NEW FOLLOWER OR LURKER, I'd really appreciate if you can send me an Ask (you could also leave a quick introductory comment here, on my pinned post) and introduce yourself (you do not need to expect a response from me), even a short description like name (Pennames are definitely fine!), preferred pronouns (if any) and/or what brought you to my page and what you're staying for (Especially if you were here for resource{s} posts/reblogging, I've been curious if they've been helping anyone!) The reason I am asking this is because lately there's been a huge uptick of spam blogs following with particular "patterns" to their Likes, Follows, etc. and in order to prevent from being softblocked by accident if you are not actively blogging, it'd be great to know in advance if you're a real person. Aside from AO3 the only other 'active' archives of social media that I have are my much older Livejournal and Dreamwidth accounts, and even they're not quite in use these days. However, if you also have active LJs or DWs and actively blog, feel free to let me know too!
{And, for Clarification to anyone "Wondering"}:
[No, I will not discuss related current events further than this or in Tags. Anyone who attempts to push my boundaries on this will get Blocked]
FOR OFF-TUMBLR CONTACT, PLEASE DM: {Note: I will NOT respond to harrassing DMs and will only autodelete/block, so please don't waste your time}:
{Currently a infrequently active Koushiro RP Journal turned into personal archival blog. Please DO NOT spam it with non-Dreamwidth RP relevant comments. All comments are SCREENED first.}


It’d be very, very cool if people could also learn to read my FAQ page linked on the sidebar before sending Asks or interacting directly with either of my blogs or myself, because I’m seriously TIRED of people ignoring it and my rules for interaction.
I am a {diagnosed since childhood} Autistic, G.N.C {Gender Non-conforming} + THEY/THEM Jewish blogger. I reblog about those topics here for that reason. {Also my Ko-fi is here.}
* PLEASE DO NOT FOLLOW OR INTERACT WITH ANY OF MY POSTS IF YOU BLATANTLY HATE/DISMISS, OR EXPECT ME TO HATE/DISMISS THE ADVENTURE [+02] + TRI + KIZUNA + 2020 CHOSEN, KOUSHIRO (*ANY KOUSHIRO, INCLUDES FOR EXAMPLE: TRI!KOUSHIRO, OWG!KOUSHIRO, 2020!KOUSHIRO, KIZUNA!KOUSHIRO), TAICHI (*ANY TAICHI, INCLUDING 2020!TAICHI, TRI!TAICHI, KIZUNA!TAICHI), DAISUKE MOTOMIYA (or “DAVIS”), SORA TAKENOUCHI (*INCLUDING 02!SORA, TRI!SORA, 2020!SORA, KIZUNA!SORA), HIKARI YAGAMI (*INCLUDING 02!HIKARI, TRI!HIKARI, KIZUNA!HIKARI, 2020!HIKARI), MIMI TACHIKAWA (*INCLUDING 02!MIMI, TRI!MIMI, KIZUNA!MIMI, 2020!MIMI), MIYAKO INOUE (*INCLUDING KIZUNA!MIYAKO), ALL/ANY OTHER DIGIMON GIRLS SUCH AS IZUMI ORIMOTO {FRONTIER}, JURI KATOU {TAMERS}, JUN MOTOMIYA {02}, OR MEIKO MOCHIZUKI. THANK YOU (I WILL PERMABLOCK IF YOU FORCE-INTERACT OR BLOCK EVADE)
* PLEASE DO NOT FOLLOW OR INTERACT IF YOU CAN’T STAND MY SHIPS TO THE POINT YOU CAN’T EVEN BE RESPECTFUL WHEN INTERACTING WITH SOMEONE WHO SHIPS YOUR NOTP. (I WILL PERMABLOCK YOU IF I NOTICE)
** THESE RULES ALSO APPLY TO MY OTHER BLOG.
*** DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU SUPPORT HARASSMENT / BULLYING / ABUSE (I WILL INSTANTLY PERMA-BLOCK YOU) OR IF YOU SUPPORT / PLATFORM PEOPLE WHO DO.
NOTICE: I am much less active on a personal level on this blog nowadays (in the sense of making personal posts or fan-works/posting fic; I still reblog informative posts). I am slightly more active on my other socials, but most of them are private and friends-locked to older groups of mutuals. If you are curious or wanting to interact about Digimon (especially Adventures or about my favorite characters and ships for this fandom) specifically, please feel free to message me about them, but please understand I may not add or speak with anyone that I do not fully trust or know well. (It will help if most of your stances on social-justice issues align with and don’t blatantly conflict with my own. I tend to not add/follow people anywhere whose posts I cannot filter [i.e. there are many popular Western media fandoms / mega-fandoms I’m not in which I blacklist, types of fanworks I don’t personally care for that I blacklist, etc]. I do not do follow-backs so please do not follow or interact here expecting one). It will also help if you read my FAQ first and agree to it before asking.
PLEASE FAMILIARIZE YOURSELF WITH MY FANDOMS LIST (notably more the major fandoms but) BEFORE YOU INTERACT WITH ANY POST ON THIS BLOG. If I check/quick-vet your blog and find nothing but hate{watching} posts/“Critical” posts for my fandoms (ESPECIALLY THIS ONE), unless I’ve reblogged from you first, I MAY HARDBLOCK YOU.
#koushirouizumi blog#koushirouizumi no rb#koushirouizumi personal#koushirouizumi text#koushirouizumi pinned post#(Making this now too)#(I've also been seeing various new interactions since 'The Beginning' sequel is releasing soon)#(But lately most interactions also seem from outside the fan base)#(This blog is my MULTI FAN BASE + Archival blog)#(If you are here and I didn't follow you first I'd really appreciate such an Ask when Inbox is open so I know you're a real person!)#(Please know I may not be able to respond however but also I'll appreciate anything I receive!!)#(And if we talked in the past but it's been a while please feel free to re introduce yourself too as re introductions help me out a lot too#(I will likely update this in future to add more info and reference links I am just getting this started now)#(because I'm also seeing a lot of talk of people seeing U.S. dub and other inter-national showings of The Beginning very soon)#(Another blog does this too and they got a lot of respectful response so I'd like to try the same!)#(Please understand pen names and the like are completely fine!!)#(I'd be really glad to not have to block more people accidentally looking like spam blogs to me)#(This is going to replace the old Pinned post when I have a chance to edit it soon)#(OK I also added old Info under the 'read more' from the old Pinned post but for the most part Yes this will be new Pinned)
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I used to treat this blog like a diary, and when I went offline recently I realized how much I normally bottle up. Really not feeling well so vent post below :') feel free to skip
I really tried to not let my dog passing affect me as much as it has; but 3 weeks later, I'm finally admitting that I completely shut down when it happened. My ability to focus on anything other than good ol' instant-gratification media has literally gone to the gutter, and I've only recently worked up the ability to talk to close friends. I only took a day off of work and classes when it happened, and I realize in retrospect that it wasn't nearly enough.
At this point, I'm so far behind in my classwork that I have no idea what to do with myself; I'm skirting by all of my classes doing that absolute bare minimum I have to, and it feels awful.
And at the same time, I've wanted nothing more than to communicate with people, and I really have tried, but I keep talking myself out of it because of all the things I haven't done yet. I can't justify giving myself the time to message a friend - even though my brain has no problem letting me waste literal hours doomscrolling and watching the same videos over and over - because "what about that one thing you could also be spending your time on?"
I really wish I knew what to do about it but I have no clue. I haven't gotten a single full night of uninterrupted sleep for the past three weeks. I keep falling asleep on top of assignments I stared at for so long that I started to doze, because flitting in and out of sleep is easier than just doing the work that has never given me trouble in my entire four years of classes. And I've berated myself for not working or communicating, and I've tried giving myself more breaks and intermittent rewards for getting even the tiniest things done, and I've tried brute forcing my way through it all, and on the whole, it's just not working.
Normally I end these posts with a proposed path for myself to get better, or a question that I need answered so I can finally move on with life, but right now I just need these thoughts out of my head. I just think I needed to finally admit to someone that I'm not okay, and that this time, I really just don't know what to do.
#i like to pretend everything's ok but something just changed a couple days ago#and I really can't pretend anymore#this isn't going in the main text; placing it in tags makes it feel more like a whisper#but i started thinking very very dangerous thoughts for the first time in a real long time#they started yesterday but got extra bad this evening and it scared the hell out of me#so i messaged a friend and asked if he didn't mind calling me#i didn't tell him what was going on but he took my mind off of it all with some seals... it really helped#sitting in silence now so I decided to make a vent post before I have another scare... at this point i just need to survive til spring brea#this is really hard for me to share because i don't really want to come off as attention-seeking#and my gut reaction when i try to open up to people more than once or twice is to think ''maybe i AM doing this for attention''#but in a small moment of clarity i realized i have no reason to believe y'all would start to hate me for a vent post#especially since y'all have been nothing but supportive#also realized i shouldn't berate myself for using the blog i have already stated is a pseudo-diary as a pseudo-diary#...that's half the reason this blog even exists haha#anyway#i think i'm gonna get something to eat and then I'll make a webfishing lobby so i have chatter to hear while i work#i'll post the code as usual but i know it's a terrible time for pretty much everyone#edit; i forgot to mention but i worked up the nerve to call one person last weekend#and i felt a lot better for it... it was a lot of fun :>#i think the stress of everything came back tenfold when I had to return to classes the other day though :') it was a nice weekend regardles
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How I learned to write smarter, not harder
(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)
A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.
The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.
As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!
Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!
2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)
Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.
Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.
I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.
Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!
This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.
As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.
When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD
People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.
What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!
What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.
You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.
And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.
And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.
If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?
And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD
In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.
Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.
Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)
And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)
#creative writing#writers block#writblr#writers on tumblr#writing#writers and poets#writerscommunity#fanfic writing#writeblr#writing advice
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pacify her
❝she's getting on my nerves, you don't love her... stop lying with those words!❞
♡ caleb ♡
sypnosis: you and caleb have been best friends for years, growing up and living together since childhood. nothing more and nothing less... so why did seeing him with that bitch hurt so much?
wc: 20k (i know, sorry, i got carried away but it's good i promise)
a/n: hai!! thank you so much for all the love and support on my first lads smutfic i posted for valentines day, i did not expect it to blow up like that (calebcore). as a token of my appreciation, please take this caleb smutfic as a gift. this is my longest written piece as of yet, so if this flops i'm gonna pull a caleb. (。•̀ᴗ-)✧
reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated <3
content: fratboy!caleb x fem!reader, college au, reader is a little naive, heavy possessiveness on both sides (c'mon, it's caleb), heavy jealousy, mean caleb, reader's manipulative, lots of sappy feelings, pure filth, porn with plot, smut (lots of sex, beware!! and no details, find out lol), all acts are consensual, not edited.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・
"what was that, pipsqueak? couldn't hear ya from up here." caleb smirked, violet eyes twinkling with mischief as he leaned down a little.
"calebbb! give me back my phone, i'll be late for my nail appointment." you whined, once again trying to snatch your phone out of his grip. however, your attempts were futile and comical; as the obviously taller man kept extending his hand out of your reach purposely.
"ask me nicely and maybe, just maybe, i'll give it back." he teased, chocolate brown fringes falling over his eyes as he tilts his head to the side.
"stop being mean!" you huff out, annoyed as you kept tiptoeing and reaching up to grab your phone.
caleb continued to watch you helplessly struggle against his height with nothing but amusement. he was more focused on how your skirt hiked up with every small jump, revealing more of the soft skin of your thighs. or how your tits cutely jiggled a few inches right below his face as you wore a pink laced babydoll top.
it was wrong and downright perverted, but god did it make his cock throb.
"caleb-" your words were cut short as you lost your footing, the thick heel of your mary janes slipping on the wooden floor of your living room. you yelped, face planting on caleb's chest as he wrapped his free arm around your waist to ground you.
"woah, easy there, pipsqueak. if you wanted a hug from me so bad you could've just asked." caleb lightly joked, making you pout as you looked up at him with a gaze he could only describe as-
how to get caleb hard in under two seconds.
your eyes were probably his most favorite feature of you. they were so doey, how they'd disappear when you'd giggle over his jokes, how your pupils would dilate when he bought you those stupidly adorable bows you wear on your hair; or how you'd look at him like he's ripped your heart straight out of your chest when you didn't have things go your way.
lethal puppy eyes.
"please caleb?" such a sultry voice only you could produce that could make even the strongest man on earth crumble; and god, caleb was definitely not the strongest soldier on the battlefield when it came to you.
"okay, okay, here." he smiled, handing you back your phone as his eyes briefly glanced at the dangling apple phone charm—which he had one as well to match with you.
"yay, thanks. i'm gonna go then, my girl friends are waiting for me." your eyes lighten up, giving him a girly smile which nearly sent his soul flying.
"mhm, make sure you make it in time for your math lecture, y'know how strict that professor is. batting those cute lashes of yours won't work on him like it does on me." caleb reminded you, his tone became slightly stern, but you only giggled at the sudden shift of his demeanor.
"roger that, captain." you gave him a small salute, making his small facade break for a couple of seconds as he cracked a smile.
"cheeky brat." he shook his head as he watched you rush out the door, purse adorned on your shoulder. suddenly, his phone buzzed in his pockets.
ding!
your $100 transaction at nailsbytojisbbg is complete
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・
you walked out of your last lecture, chit-chatting with a classmate as you exited the building. you noticed the familiar figure of a tall, broad man in the distance, wearing a white tanktop and gray shorts.
your lips curled into a smile, quickly waving your classmate goodbye as you quickened your footsteps. but, your smile would drop as you observed that he was not alone.
a girl, whom you've never met before, emerged from behind him as they both conversed. your steps became less urgent, a weird feeling bubbling in your stomach and chest—making you nauseous.
before you could turn around and walk away, caleb already caught your eyes, smiling as he waved at you. now there was absolutely no way in avoiding him, so you tried your best to reciprocate a smile to him, using one of your freshly manicured hands to wave back.
the distance between you two, or rather three, soon closed as caleb now stood in front of you; backpack slung over his shoulder.
"finished your classes, pips?" caleb asked, eyeing you playfully as if to prevent you from lying to him.
"yes, why wouldn't i?" you scoffed, making him chuckle.
"just checking 'cause you have a bad habit of skipping that class and i don't want you to fail." he pinched your cheek and although he teases you with this all the time, for some reason it was irking you now specifically because that stupid random girl was standing beside him.
you didn't want her to think that caleb knew dumb girls like you!
"i'm not failing that class, caleb. also, i only skip that class when needed, you're making me sound like a bad student." you glared at him, swatting his hand away from your face.
caleb's eyes widened at the sudden ill reaction from you, holding his hands up to surrender.
"my bad, pipsqueak; didn't know you were all studious now." caleb lightheartedly chuckled, making you roll your eyes.
"whatever, i guess we're not going home together since you have company." you commented, your tone a bit vice as you glanced at the girl next to him who quietly took in the interaction. caleb noticed the heavy tension between you two, thinning his lips as he mentally slapped himself for not introducing you both to each other.
"oh, caleb, it's fine. you could go home with your sister, we could catch up on the project another time." she smiled, making you almost puke in your mouth.
your eyebrows pinched together at her words.
sister?
you weren't his damn sister, did he not talk about you to her? all of caleb's friends knew of your presence in his life as caleb always made sure to let the whole world know about the one and only person that mattered to him the most.
you.
although you and caleb aren't related by blood, you were just as close to him as real family, and likewise for you. your adoptive grandmother passed away a few years back when the two of you were still high schoolers.
josephine, your grandma or gran as you both would call her, was a pretty kind old lady. she always treated you two like her own, making sure that you and caleb were nothing short of living a normal childhood. the initial plan was to only adopt you, but after seeing how inseparable you and caleb were, she didn't have the heart to snatch you away from him.
it was odd because you both weren't related, but she never pried deep into why.
all because of an apple.
when caleb was first brought in, he was hostile and scared; like most kids would. no matter how much the nurses and caretakers tried, they couldn't get him to take a single bite of food.
so one night, you saved your apple from dinner by hiding it under your bed, waiting for the lights to go out. after deeming the coasts to be cleared, your small footsteps tiptoed to the boys room as you opened the door to find him crouched against the wall; head buried in his knees as he sniffled.
you approached him with a gentle aura, sitting on your knees in front of him as you softly tapped his arms; glossy amethyst eyes meeting yours before landing on your small hands that offered him an apple.
the rest was history.
gran's death hit you both hard, but she always thought two steps ahead; leaving her inheritance for both you and caleb to use towards your education and living expenses.
she knew how much caleb wanted to be a fighter pilot and work for the DAA one day. as for you, well, you're a bit... slower on the run. you didn't know what you wanted to be and to be honest, school really wasn't your thing. gran always assured you that you didn't need to have things figured out so early and that you'd eventually have things sorted out... but that was four years ago.
you're now a sophmore in college while caleb's in his senior year.
"ah, no, y/n isn't my sister. she's my best friend, actually." caleb corrected, rubbing the back of his nape as the girl's eyes widened at the revelation, quickly apologizing.
"it's fine, most people assume that anyways, so we're used to it. we grew up together, so in a way, it makes sense." you shrug, making caleb frown.
"trust me, i'd never wanna be related to this pipsqueak here, she's a handful." caleb poked fun at you, making you groan as you pinched his side, making him yelp.
"i'm not!" you defended, making him laugh.
"as you say. now, before i forget, y/n this is my classmate from my mechanics lecture, ___. we're both in the aviation program, so we're paired up for the final project." he explained with a bright smile, but the commonalities between them only made your skin crawl.
why did he smile around her like that?
was he that happy to have someone like her in his field of interest?
were you not enough for him?
all these questions assaulted your mind, giving you a rising migraine.
"hello, earth to pipsqueak, you with me?" his voice woke you up, making you sigh.
"i wanna go home, tired." you shortly said before walking off, not bothering to wait for him or glare at that bitch one last time.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・
you were splayed on the couch, head rested against the soft apple cushion you forced caleb to purchase years back because it seemed like a perfect buy. too lazy and annoyed to go up to your room and change out of your clothes, you decided to cool off by listening to some music.
as you leisurely listened to your playlist, you observed your nails which you got done earlier. the music blared in your ears and you failed to notice the jingling sound of the door-lock, the knob twisting open before revealing a tired caleb with arms full of groceries.
you took a quick look at him before quickly gluing your eyes back on your nails. your best friend noticed, a small smile perking up as he realized that you were still a bit annoyed at him for earlier.
that was no biggie, he had no problem in apologizing to you hundreds of times until you forgave him.
that's how it always was for you two, even as kids. as adorable and cheeky you were, you were a damn klutz too. so, you'd end up tripping and bumping into tables, causing the beautiful antic vases gran thrifted to fall and shatter on the floor.
not wanting you to get into trouble, he'd take the blame for you, saying he knocked it over when playing basketball inside.
when you two argued, it was always short lived no matter who was in the wrong; because caleb would always end up being the first to apologize, not being able to stay mad or distant from you. if he was to describe your place in his life in just a few words, he'd say you're just as important as the air he needed to breathe.
it's natural for him to need you, to want you and to love you.
caleb kicked off his shoes after closing the front door, walking over to the couch where you were resting and ignoring his presence. with a small grunt, he placed the grocery bags down before hopping on the couch; plopping right on top of you without exerting his entire weight, not wanting to crush you.
you groaned in both annoyance and the sudden weight of his body, shooting him a glare from between your fingers, but he only grinned at you.
"still mad at me, pipsqueak?" caleb asked, placing his head on your stomach as peered up at you, giving you his stupid puppy eyes.
literally, he looked like a sad, wet puppy.
it took everything in your willpower to not throw away every ounce of anger and jealousy you had boiling inside of you to just wrap your arms around him.
so, you just closed your eyes and ignored him, turning up the volume on your phone.
caleb frowned at your actions, using a hand to tug on the wire as the earphone plugged in your right ear fell.
"hey, i'm talkin' to ya, pips." his voice was soft, but harbored a little bit of disappointment.
"don't wanna talk to you." a childish huff left your mouth as you glared down at him, but to caleb you looked like an angry kitten.
so, he took bait.
"really? so after paying for these cute nails, you won't even show me? no 'thank you, caleb! you're the best in the world!' ? i think i've spoiled you rotten." he lets out an exasperated sigh, but his expression is more fond than annoyed.
his gaze drifts back to your nails, his fingers briefly wrapping around your wrist to take a closer look.
"cute and expensive..." he tuts, but his thumb is gently stroking the softness of your wrist.
"what are you implying? that i get a job and work my cute ass off?" you murmured, your tone full of offense just at the thought.
he lifts his gaze back to your face, his playful smirk back in place.
"of course not. i don't mind providing for your cute ass until we both reach our graves and you know that, y/n." he laughs, shaking his head in mock annoyance. his grip on your wrist loosens, but his fingers continue the light stroking motion almost absentmindedly.
"but now that you mention it, maybe having a taste of the real world wouldn't be so bad after all. then you'd be more appreciative of all the things i do for you." his eyes dancing with amusement as he feigns indifference.
of course, caleb didn't mind whether or not you wanted to get a job. in fact, he liked being able to provide for you and spoil you rotten! seeing the joy in your eyes when he agreed to buy you those stupidly overpriced trinkets that now decorate both of your rooms, or shopping for clothes and shoes and of course your nails and makeup.
after everything you've done for him, which was simply existing in his lonely life, he felt like he owed you his whole life. he'll never forget that night, when the two of you had nothing, yet you gave him everything.
the kindness of your heart.
"tch, now you really do sound like my brother." you joked, knowing how much it irked him when you called him that.
a grimace flashes across his face, his grip on your wrist tightens momentarily. he always hated it when you called him your brother or when someone mistakenly addressed you as his sister.
"don't call me that." he mutters, his voice firm and possessive.
"then don't nag at me like one." you bit back.
his expression softens, his grip loosening back into a gentle touch. he sighs, a mixture of frustration and concern creeping into his expression.
"i just... i worry about you, alright? i try to give you everything you want, but you don't—" he cuts himself off, the words hanging in the air, as if choosing whether to continue or not.
"i don't what?" you cocked an eyebrow.
"nevermind." caleb mumbled under his breath, lifting himself off of you, only for you to grab the collar of his shirt and pull him back.
"no, say it." you looked up at him with a puzzled expression.
he looks away, his gaze locking on a small crack in the wall, his voice low and gruff. he's struggling to articulate his feelings, not wanting to hurt you.
"you don't... apply yourself. you spend your time on things that don't matter. you have talents, but you don't use them. you're wasting your potential, pipsqueak. gran left behind so much for us, i'm sure she'd want you to take advantage of the path she built for us." caleb explained, violet eyes locked with your as his tone was stern but still embrace a gentleness to it—hoping that you could take his words to heart.
which you did, but not in the way he wanted you to.
"are you getting tired of me, caleb?" your voice wavered, coming out like a whisper.
his eyes widen in surprise, and he shakes his head vehemently.
"no, god no. it's not that at all. it's just—" he pauses, his gaze flitting away for a moment before returning to you, his expression a mix of frustration and conflict as he pursues his lips.
"we've known each other since we were kids. you're just as smart as i am, so why don't you want to be...more? pips, i don't mind devoting my whole life to feed you, spoil you endlessly and so much more—but i want you to seek out more in life. we both came a long way, from being unwanted to finding each other. i just want you to take everything that you can." a gentle calloused hand came up to stroke your cheek, his fingers lithe and a little cold.
caleb had a habit of getting clamy hands when he was nervous.
"smart? don't make me laugh. you and zayne were always ahead of me, it was so embarrassing to show gran all those red marks on my grades. i-i... i don't have a place in the world of academics. why do you think i spend so much time on caring about how i look? if i can't offer the world my brain then maybe i could make it up with my looks. and if all goes to hell, then i'll just marry some old, rich guy." you shrugged, your words coming out a bit jokingly as you chuckled at the end.
he falls silent, for once rendered speechless by the nonchalance in your tone. he doesn't know what's more infuriating—that you think so little of yourself, or that you could so easily imagine a life without him.
"is that what you think you're worth? that being a trophy wife is the best you can do?" he takes a deep breath, trying to keep his anger in check.
"at this rate, honestly yeah." you grumbled, looking away from him.
his eyes narrow, a mixture of anger and exasperation in his gaze. he grabs your chin, forcing you to meet his eyes which were full of hurt at how you downplayed yourself.
"bullshit! you're smart, talented, and goddamn beautiful, and you're just gonna waste it all by marrying some rich guy you don't even like?" caleb grits his teeth, cupping your cheek as his thumb rubbed across the apple of your soft mounds.
"there's no other choice! look, i get it, okay? you have a life too and i don't wanna be a pest leeching off of you forever." your lips quiver, heart pounding in your chest as it felt like someone just twisted the knife in your gut as the words left your lips.
only to be oblivious that your words cut caleb deeper than it did you.
"no choice? there's always a choice for you as long as i'm alive on this earth, y/n—me! i'll work my ass of in this program and get in the DAA to be a badass fighter pilot and make tons of money. i'll be the only man you'll ever need, don't you worry your pretty head over nothin', you hear me? don't ever think you're a liability. i need you, damn it." he poured his heart out, looking deep into your eyes as if he was trying to touch your soul; gently to caress it and help you mend those scars of insecurity that bled.
but you were scared and found it difficult to believe his words, not after seeing how happy he looked earlier with someone else that was not you.
"you don't have to lie, caleb. that girl from earlier... she seems like a better pick for you. she's smart enough to be in the aviation program with you, she's strong and she's pretty. she has beauty and brains while i merely have half." your throat squeeze tightly, a lump forming as it physically hurt to say the next set of words.
"she's perfect for you, caleb." your eyes welled with tears as you looked down to where your hands rested on your stomach.
"i don't care if she's smarter, or more talented. she's not you. she's not the one i grew up with, the one who's always been there for me. this is what she can't offer me. this connection we have. i don't want anyone else, I just want you in my life, pipsqueak." his jaw tightens, his eyes fierce as he speaks. he takes your hand, bringing it to his chest, his heart beating rapidly under your palm.
all the tears that you've been holding back finally slip out one by one, running down your flushed cheeks as streaks of black mascara taints your skin. caleb's eyes softened, sitting on his knees before pulling you up with him, cradling your head in his chest.
"shh... it's okay, i'm here. i'm not leaving you, i promise." he whispers in a honeyed voice, making your heart flutter as you sobbed.
"e-everyone's so mean to me! your friends whistle and laugh when i walk past them in my skirts or if the bow in my hair unties and falls—o-or when i trip on my pumps! they call me a bimbo or brainless s-slut!" you choked on your tears, clutching onto his shirt as your tears formed damp puddles on the white fabric.
caleb's eyes darkened at your words, blood boiling in fury. his embrace tightened, but a vein could be seen present on his forehead as he tried his best to keep his temper in check while calmly speaking to you.
"they said what now, y/n?" his tone was grave, making your breathing go a bit uneven.
"h-hey, it's okay. i don't see them much anyways." you tried to assure him, but caleb was no longer listening.
all the functions in his brain has gone haywired, loss of connection after hearing you. suddenly, he gently pushed you off his lap, grabbing his phone before shoving it in his pocket.
your eyes widened as you watched him get up from the couch. you reached out, grabbing his wrist.
"where are you going?" you asked, watching him only turn his head to the side but his eyes looked at you faintly. there was no light, just darkness and his face read a dangerous expression.
to kill.
"i'm gonna beat the absolute shit out of them and make them kneel in front of you to apologize." he bitterly spat out, words laced with venom before ripping his hand out of your grasp; not needing much force.
your heart rate quickened as you quickly followed his footsteps, not wanting him to make it out the door. you grabbed the back of his shirt, grounding your foot to hold him back.
"caleb, don't do this! you're in a high-stake program, if they find out about you doing this type of shit, you'll be kicked out! i swear i'm fine." you tried to convince him, but your words only made his anger rise.
he turned around, glaring at you.
"be quiet. you're not fine, i know you're not. so stop lying to me, 'cause i hate it when you do that. i know what's best for you and me, so don't stop me." caleb's tone dropped octaves lower, but you pushed aside your slight fear of him at this moment, caging him in your comparably smaller arms to hold him hostage.
"i won't let you go." you shake your head, holding him tight. you heard him let out a heavy sigh, as his shoulder slumped. you closed your eyes in relief, thinking that you were able to avoid the worst possible situation.
"you really don't like it when i'm a nice guy, huh?" caleb chuckled darkly, making your eyes widen. suddenly, he lifted you up in his arms and began walking upstairs.
fuck.
"wait, caleb!" you squirmed in his hold, but his grip around you remained stern.
"y'know i don't like it when you butt into things you shouldn't, pipsqueak." he walked up the second flight of stairs that led to the attic. after opening the door, he pushed you inside and quickly closed the door, locking it.
"caleb, what the hell?! let me out! you can't fuckin' do this to me, we're not kids anymore! ugh, let me out!" you banged and kicked on the door, but he wouldn't budge.
soon enough, his footsteps were getting distant.
"caleb? caleb!!"
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・
a week has passed since that incident. you were pretty pissed at him when he finally returned and unlocked you from your confinement, ready to pounce on him, yell and slap him.
but all that fury dissipated once you saw his bruised knuckles and disheveled state. caleb wasn't insensitive and to save you the trauma of witnessing three bloodied guys kneeling to you on the floor, he recorded their voices which dripped with pain and remorse as apologies flew out of their mouths like a mantra.
the smile plastered on his face was almost deranged and crazy, but yet without a fail it made your heart leap in your throat.
"so you wear skirts and smell like peaches. so what? that doesn't make you less than anyone else. if anything, it's one of the things i love about you. they can call you whatever they want. i know who you are, and that's all that matters."
his words rang loud and clear in your ears every time you remembered them. you can vividly imagine his eyes, the tenderness they held while his voice softly cured the aches in your heart.
"hey pips, gonna do laundry now. anything else you need for me to throw in?" caleb peeps in his head through the small crack of your door, chocolatey brown locks coming into view. you ushered him to come inside, to which he obeyed.
there you saw him, in all this handsome glory. you pondered quickly, how did he change so quickly?
in the back of your mind, you could still picture caleb to be a scrawny little kid with a high pitched voice; playing as the dragon while you were the princess trying to run away from him in the sandbox.
and then came high school when he got his first job as a restocker at the local grocery store, being required to lift heavy things, so he began to frequently workout at the gym and at home too; insisting that you could be of help by sitting on his back while he did push-ups.
the scrawny squeaky caleb would then transform into a tall, handsome and broad young man. he carried you in his big, beefy arms in the summer heat; one hand full with gorcery bags while the other held you as you sipped on the overpriced fake pink lemonade the girls scouts were selling—letting him take a few sips from your straw to compensate.
and now here he stood in your room, shirtless and only in a pair of calvin klein boxers; the tag necklace attached with the apple charm hanging on his neck.
"hm, nope. everything should be in my basket. thanks caleb." you smiled with gratitude, pointing to the lavander laundry basket by your door.
"mhm, don't mention it." he hummed before bending down to grab your basket.
caleb made his way down to the basement where the washing machine was. he remembered how you always nagged at him for throwing your clothes with his, how the rough material of his clothes ruined the cute lacey frills of yours.
he rolled his eyes as he could mentally hear your voice whining at him. so, to save him the trouble, he decided to wash his clothes last. caleb began to throw your clothes in, only to find the deep crimson pair of panties that he loved so much in the pile, peeking and tempting him.
the brunette groaned, fingers playing with the soft red laces that decorated the edge of your panties. his imagination ran wild, picturing you in nothing but the thin fabric of the panties that were now crumpled in his large hands.
it was sick and perverted... he knows that it was wrong to do so.
but he couldn't help himself—holding your panties to his nose, the part where your pussy would've been hugged with, taking a deep inhale. his eyes rolled back, whimpering as he could smell the musky scent of your cunt, his mouth salivating as he could only wish to be able to taste your sweet pussy.
blood rushed down to his cock, making him painfully hard. caleb groaned, tugging the waistband of his boxers down as his dick sprung back to hit his abs.
he grabbed another pair of your dirty panties, this one being a soft blue, and wrapped it around his cock. caleb's mouth gaped open, moaning as he began to stroke his dick, feeling the fabric of your panties rub against his sensitive skin.
"hnghh... fuck, you smell so good, princess." caleb quietly moaned, the hand gasping your panties tightening as he sniffed your panties while shamelessly jerking himself off.
he bit down on his lips, increasing the pace of his hands as beads of precum trickled down his swollen mushroom tip. the vein that ran on the underside of his cock throbbed with adrenaline, making his knees almost buck.
caleb could imagine how your soft pussy was hidden in these same pair of panties, your cute little clit peeking out of your sopping wet folds. did you ever touch yourself through these panties of yours? who do you think about when you touch yourself? was it him?
god, all these questions only made his balls twitch as he could feel himself grow closer to his orgasm.
"ahhh- shit, please, y/n. need to taste you so bad, h-hahh.." he whimpered, tongue lolling out as he began to suck on your panties desperately while trying to chase his high.
with a few more pumps, caleb's cock began to spurt out white, thick wads of hot, sticky cum onto your blue panties. his chest heaved, trying to catch his breath as post-nut clarity was hitting him.
his face rushed with a red tint, embarrassed but not enough to stop. after all, this wasn't his first time.
"hey caleb, have you seen my pink panties? i checked everywhere but couldn't find them. were they in the basket yesterday when you did the laundry? i could've sworn i placed them there."
"nope, didn't see them, pipsqueak. maybe you left them in your locker or somethin'. don't worry, if you need more i could always take you shopping."
caleb had all your bras and panties memorized just like how he memorized the different functions and buttons of aircrafts. he begrudgingly allowed you to pull him into victoria's secret to go shopping for new cute sets, wanting his opinions and of course, needing his card as well.
of course, he didn't mind buying them for you! after all, he'd pluck a pair from your weekly laundry every time and use it to fuck his fist or even keep for himself if he really liked that pair. so, it was only fair to buy you more to compensate.
"yeah, definitely keeping this one." caleb grunts before throwing the crimson red panties in his basket.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・
the spring semester was coming to an end, meaning that caleb would soon graduate. you were so excited to attend his graduation, having your dress readily hung in your closet, noting down on your ipad what kind of flowers you wanted to include in the massive bouquet you were planning to welcome him with and of course—
his gift.
caleb always gave a dog kind of guy, so you were thinking of getting a puppy for him. but, of course, things change like always and you still had another few weeks to plan.
the only problem was that getting a hold of caleb nowadays became extremely hard, which might sound weird considering the fact that you two literally live together in the same house.
but it's true.
for the last few weeks, caleb's been buried in books and drowning himself in the strongest concoction of what you could only make out as coffee and redbull. he's been on his grind to study for the final exam, which would determine if he got in the DAA or not. of course, the semester long project, which he worked on with ___ was at its finishing polishes. everything in life was hitting him all at once, college, work and other shit; so catching a glimpse of him was like being able to catch a shooting star.
slim chance.
but of course, you didn't want to bother him and you were proud of him for working so hard towards his dreams. so, naturally, you expected him to crash into your bed and cuddle with you after taking the exam—newsflash: you were wrong.
though caleb was nerdy, he was very popular on campus. all the girls wanted a piece of him because he was everything a girl could ever dream of. he's smart, caring, domestic and he's sexy as fuck.
all the guys wanted to be his friends and naturally caleb ended up being invited to a bunch of senior frat parties as the soon-to-be graduates celebrated their achievements. so, you'd only see caleb in the mornings where he's drunk and passed out on the couch or you wouldn't see him at all because he crashed at his friend’s place.
it was late one evening, you stirred in your bed as you woke up from your nap. you tapped your phone screen and saw that it was almost eight. you sat up, the shoulder strap of your nightgown falling off your shoulder, making you groan in annoyance as you fixed it.
feeling parched, you got off your bed and slipped on your house slippers to head down to the kitchen and fix yourself an ice cold glass of water. your ears perked up upon the hearing of deep laughter echoing in the living room, well, multiple voices were voicing these laughs.
as you went down the the stairs, your eyes fell on caleb who was leisurely lounging on the couch with a game controller in his hand, surrounded by three other guys; who you assumed were his new friends or rather frat buddies since he beat his last ones to pulp for you.
"caleb?" you called out, making him stop mid-sentence as he looked up and noticed your familiar figure approaching him.
"oh, pipsqueak, you're home? i didn't even know." caleb chuckled, pausing his game, the sudden acknowledgment of your presence made the other three heads turn to look at you.
"uh, yeah... i was napping." you replied, feeling a little exposed as you didn't know he'd have his friends over and you were still in casual home-wear. you could feel his friends roaming their eyes all over your exposed arms and legs, making you shift uncomfortably.
"woah, didn't know you had such a hot sister, dude." one of them finally spoke up, letting out a low wolf-whistle.
caleb's jaw tightened at that, making him shoot the guy a glare.
"watch your mouth, don't say shit like that to her. and we're not related, we just grew up together." he clarified, nose flaring with irritation.
another one of his friends rolled his eyes, dismissing his words.
"yeah, yeah, same shit. so, sister-not-sister of caleb's, you got a boyfriend?" the guy asked, making your cheeks heat up at the question as you cleared your throat.
"n-no." you stammered, playing with the hem of your nightgown. he stood up, walking over to you with a grin as he took your phone.
"let me give you my number then. let's get to know each other and i'll take you on a nice date, darling." he purred, a hand coming up to touch your arm; only for a vice grip to stop the dirtying hand from laying a finger on you.
"i swear i'll kill you." caleb's violet orbs bored holes in his friend's skull, possessively pushing you behind him. his friend scoffed, ripping his hand away from the tight grip.
"chill, dude. you're acting like i was asking her to fuck me." he joked, but caleb's face contorted into a scowl.
"say one more fuckin' word and i swear on everything i'll beat the shit out of you. you're really pissing me off." caleb swore under his breath, his other friend that was calmly watching everything unfold decided to intervene.
"okay, okay, everyone relax. we should head home, it's getting late. uh, caleb, i'll text you the address for the party being held this weekend—don't miss it, man! oh, also, let me invite your... er, friend, in case she wants to attend." the other guy spoke up, glancing at you. but, before you could even get a word in—
"she won't be coming." caleb strictly answered for you, making your eyebrows furrow.
"caleb!" you frowned, only for him to shoot a glare down at you. his friend thinned his lips, deciding not to push further.
"alright then. see you later, man." caleb's friends finally packed their stuff and left.
you angrily shoved caleb onto the couch, towering over him to have some kind of intimidation factor towards you; but of course, you were nothing compared to a six-foot something muscle pig like him.
nonetheless, he let you.
you crossed your arms over your chest, glaring at him. however, caleb was more focused on how your tits were now squished because of your arms; granting him the sight of the beautiful soft curves of the supple flesh. he licked his dry lips, imagining how they'd feel in his hands. you failed to noticed his ogling from how pissed you were, preparing to lash out at him.
"why can't i go to the party? you're gonna be there, so i don't see what's the issue." you huffed out.
"it's a frat party, pipsqueak. they're not meant for you." he dismissed your frustration like it was nothing, but his answer only riled you up more.
"the hell you mean?! i'm an adult, you think i can't handle a fuckin' frat party? i'm gonna go, whether you like it or not." you stubbornly fought back with equal amounts of venom in your words.
"like hell you would, i'd like to see you try. those parties are full of drunk guys dancing on girls who shake ass for some temporary validation, the house reeks of alcohol and sex. you're none of that! you never even drank in your life or had your first kiss." caleb lectured, his eyes were stern and unwavering, not harboring any leeway to be convinced otherwise by you.
"t-that's not true!" you helplessly tried to lie, but of course, it didn't fly by him. he let out a heavy sigh before planting his hands on your hips, pulling you closer between his legs.
"listen, pips. y'know i care a lot about you, right? you saw how those guys were just a few minutes back. it took every inch of self-control i had to not just plummet my fist in his face. i don't want those sick perverts to look at you like you're a piece of meat. you're more safer home than anywhere else, if you wanna drink and party so bad, a two person party right here sounds like a pretty solid idea." he looks up at you with a gentle smile etched onto his lips, offering such a lame idea, making you scoff as you shove his hands away.
"it's always what you want, never what i want! ugh, you're so fucking annoying, caleb! i don't wanna stay as some boring loser forever and you're making it worse." you seethed with anger and fury, making his smile drop as his face darkened at your words.
"i know what's best for you, y/n. you are not going to that party and that's final. don't make me lock you up in the attic again, 'cause i will if i have to." caleb threatened, making you scoff in disbelief.
"unbelievable." you shook your head, your mouth opened once more to give him a piece of your mind; but the doorbell rang.
you groaned in annoyance, trudging to the front door as you wondered who the hell showed up to your place this late. you opened the door and you were shocked to see the girl in caleb's mechanics class.
"ah, sorry! is caleb home? i texted him earlier but it seems like he didn't see it." ___ nervously laughed, her sudden appearence made your eye twitch.
"why." you blurted out, no hint of welcome in your voice.
after noticing your longer-than-usual time away, caleb decided to check who was at the door. his eyes widened when he saw ___ outside.
"oh shit, i'm so sorry. i just saw your text, i had some friends over earlier, so i didn't get a chance to see it. i didn't know you wanted to do the finishing touches tonight." caleb rubbed the back of his neck, a guilty smile plastered on his face, but the girl quickly dismissed his apologies.
"no, no, don't worry! if you want, we could still finish it up tonight. it shouldn't take long." she offered him a smile, making your dig your nails in your palms to contain yourself from clawing at her.
"you sure? it's pretty late." his eyes were washed with concern, making you want to puke at how he... cared for her.
"yeah, totally! i'll wait for you here." she assured him, making caleb quickly nod as he ran up to his room to change.
the atmosphere suddenly became awkward, with you throwing discreet daggers at the girl while she played footsies with herself.
"so... i heard you both decided to make a 3D-solar airplane model. that's pretty complex." you chimed in a small conversation starter, your sudden voice made her jolt.
"yep, the idea was mine but caleb's the main head behind the mechanics. the guy is so damn smart, really! it's honestly been so fun working with him, he's so reliable." she gawked at him, making you clench your jaw.
"i see, you must really be fond of him, huh?" you shot her a fake smile, but your words made her let out a small giggle.
"we're just friends, he's a great guy though, which i'm sure you know." she smiles.
"uh-huh... so, you got a boyfriend?" you pried deeper, wanting to know what exactly her motives were.
"nope, single as a pringle." she answered, the cringey joke nearly made you vomit a bit in your mouth.
an awkward silence falls between you, and the girl seems to sense the tension. she fidgets, glancing back and forth between you and the staircase.
"you two seemed to have gotten pretty close over the course of this... project." you emphasized as your eyes darkened, making her clear her throat.
"oh, yeah, definitely! we do a bunch of things after working on our model. we've been working on the project, of course, but we also watch movies, cook together, and just chat about random stuff. it's been pretty fun!" the girl seems oblivious to the shift in your demeanor, and continues to chat cheerfully.
"c-cook together?!" you choked on your words, eyes going wide.
"yeah! he makes the best omurice, like it's seriously delicious. he's really talented in the kitchen." the girl nods, her expression enthusiastic.
your heart sinks at her words. cooking has always been your thing with caleb, something special and intimate between you two. hearing that he has cooked for someone else, and that she raves about his skills, feels like a knife twisting in your chest.
the girl chatters on, but her words fade into background noise as your mind races. the jealousy and insecurity welling up inside you is almost too much to bear.
"you seem very... doted on him. do you like him?" your throat went dry as you asked the big question, heart hammering against your chest.
the girl pauses, her expression softening as she smiles bashfully.
"well, i mean... yeah, i do kinda like him. i've had a bit of a crush on him for a while, to be honest. he's just so nice and handsome, plus he's really smart and talented, too." she continued to shower him in compliments, eyes dreamily glancing in the distance as she spewed out her thoughts.
before you could interrogate further, you could hear caleb's heavy footsteps descending down the stairs, making you zip your lips.
"okay, reporting for duty. let's go and finish that sucker real quick." caleb announced, making the girl laugh at his silly words; but for some odd reason his stupid joke now tasted bitter in your mouth.
you were quiet, too quiet; which was loud enough for him to notice. caleb walked towards you, ruffling your hair.
"gonna be back in a few, pips. don't miss me too much." he teases with a smile, yet you give nothing back to him; watching him leave with her before closing the door behind him.
later that night, out of pure spite, you decided that it was time for a change. you were angry at that stupid show-offing bitch, caleb, yourself and the whole world itself.
who the hell was praying on your downfall?
whatever, you were tired of all this bullshit, feeling your frontal lobe developing. you surfed the internet for a recipe to follow and began to cook.
it can't be that hard, can it?
god, were you so wrong.
caleb pauses in the kitchen doorway, taking in the sight of you in the kitchen, your phone on the counter next to a messy array of ingredients. concern etched across his face as he looks at the mess.
"hey... what are you doing, pips?" he asks.
"making myself food." you stated the obvious, rolling your eyes at his stupid question.
"and that involves making the kitchen look like a war zone?" he quirks an eyebrow, his eyes flickering from you to the ingredients strewn across the counter.
"shut up." you grumble, already overstimulated by your mess and the fact that what you were currently stirring in your pot looked like someone just took a massive shit in it.
you could fear your hunger slowly disappearing.
"wow, someone's feisty tonight." caleb takes a step closer, his expression a mix of amusement and disbelief. he can tell you're in a bad mood, and he's not surprised by your snappish response.
you ignore him, trying to focus on how you can fix your dinner.
he leans back against the counter, watching you with growing curiosity. something tells him that this is more than just a bad mood, that something else is bothering you.
"okay, spill it. what's going on? you've been ignoring me since i got home, and now you're trying to burn the kitchen down with whatever the hell you're making." his tone grew impatient, giving you a sharp look.
"you think my world revolves around you? well, newsflash, asshole—it doesn't! now shut the fuck up 'cause you're pissing me off and my food is gonna burn." you angrily spat back, crashing out completely as you just wanted him to leave you alone.
"excuse me? i'm literally just trying to talk to you, and this is the response i get? and what exactly is this 'food' you're trying to make anyway? it looks like a science experiment gone wrong." he's taken aback by your harsh tone, but he doesn't back down. his eyes darken, his own temper rising.
"it's the curry for omurice, it's just not done yet!" you defended your culinary work.
"puhlease, i doubt you'll make anything edible at this rate, that curry's been done. you barely know how to boil water, let alone make a proper omurice." caleb snickers, he knows all too well that you're not exactly a natural in the kitchen.
"i can boil water, you fucking jerk!" you snapped, spoon dropping out of your hand as you panicked and tried to grab it, only for your hand to hit the scorching hot metal of the pot.
"fuck." you yelped in pain.
"damn it, y/n. you just burned yourself! let me see your hand." his expression immediately shifts to alarm, and without a second thought he rushes to your side.
you shimmy away from him, as if he had infectious cooties or something, making him frown. caleb felt you push him away, seeing you wince in pain made his heart ache, but he was annoyed with how you were acting-
like a fucking child.
"i'm fine." you breathed out, turning on the sink to run your hand under some cold water, biting your lip to hold back a scream itching to rip out of your throat.
"for fucks sake, would you just let me see? you're being ridiculous." caleb grabbed your hand gently, lifting it to inspect the burn. it's not too serious, but it still looked painful.
"let go of me!" you grit your teeth, pulling away your hand.
"god, you're so damn stubborn. why won't you just let me help you? what is your problem?" he reluctantly lets go, but his irritation and concern continued to grow at your behavior.
"i don't need your help! i don't need your concern! i don't need your stupid cooking! i don't need your money! i don't need you, caleb!" you bellowed, eyes full of anguish as you watched his jaw drop at your outburst.
he's stunned by your words, his heart clenching at the venom in your voice. he'd been worried this was about him, but hearing the harsh words coming from your lips still feels like a punch to the gut.
"what the hell is that supposed to mean? you don't need me? after all this time?" he let's out a bitter laugh in disbelief, shaking his head.
"so, that's it? after everything we've been through, everything i've done for you... you don't need me, huh? is that what you're saying? am i just some useless piece of trash to you?" he paces the kitchen, his hands running through his hair in frustration. he's angry, hurt, and confused all at once.
"you know what, since you spelled it out so perfectly, yeah. after how you toyed around with me and threw me away like nothing, hell fucking yeah!" you yelled at him, balling your fists to the side to ground your feelings, to dig your nails in your palms for some kind of twisted comfort to prevent the tears in your eyes from pouring out.
"is that what you think? you think i discarded you like some toy? god, if anything, it's been the opposite. i've been doing everything i can to support you, to make you happy. and this is the thanks i get? you're acting like a prissy, spoiled, ungrateful brat!" he stops in his tracks, staring at you in disbelief.
"the fuck did you just call me?" you voice was shaky, but your eyes flickered with hurt and fury.
"you heard me. you're acting like a damn brat! you're throwing a tantrum because i'm trying to help you. because i care about you! because i love you!" caleb steps closer, his gaze hardening. he's sick of your attitude, sick of your ungratefulness.
"spare me the bullshit, caleb. now i know how you really feel about me, and i was really fucking dumb to believe you. tch, you're just like everyone else." you scoffed, heart cracking with every advancement of this pitiful and painful conversation that you'd never imagine would come to existence.
"like everyone else? what the hell is that supposed to mean? you think i'm some sort of heartless monster just because i'm busy with getting my life together? because i have responsibilities? do you have any idea the stress i've been under lately? you've been acting as if the world revolves around you!" he was beyond pissed at this point, tone rising with every word.
"oh yeah? but you're not busy enough to make that bitch omurice at her place? not busy enough to watch movies with her? not busy enough to spend time with her while i'm home alone waiting for you, fucking asshole?!" you screamed at his face, your head throbbing as a painful migraine brewed inside.
his eyes widen in surprise, and for a brief moment, he's speechless. it all makes sense now.
"is that what this is about? seriously, y/n, are you hearing yourself? after the countless amount of times i explicitly told you that me and her have nothing between us! that i don't give two fucks about her! are you that jealous?" he crosses his arms over his chest, unable to fathom the situation.
all because of something so stupid.
"jealous? don't be delusional. go fuck her for all i care. i'm not your girlfriend or wife." you snarled.
"you're trying to push me away because of some petty jealousy? are you seriously that insecure?" he's furious now, his eyes blazing with anger. he steps closer, crowding your personal space.
"yeah, i am. so fucking leave me alone, bitch." you swallowed harshly, emphasizing the last word before walking out of the kitchen.
you halted your steps, turning your head to the side.
"i'll clean the kitchen later, i'm gonna order takeout. don't worry, i removed your card from my phone, i work now." you cleared your throat.
you've been working for the past month actually, but you never had the chance to even tell him about it because he's barely home.
"you got a job? why didn't you tell me? and why did you need to delete my card? i don't mind taking care of you, y'know that." caleb feels his anger start to cool, replaced by disbelief and hurt.
you no longer felt like you could stay a minute more in the kitchen, already feeling the waterworks activate in your eyes, ignoring his words as you stormed out of the kitchen to head up to your room.
he stands there, staring after you, feeling helpless and frustrated. he wants to follow you, to talk some sense into you, but he knows you need time to cool off. he lets out a deep sigh, leaning back against the counter as a heavy weight settles in his chest.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・
the week passes by slowly, the tension palpable between you two. caleb tried to talk to you, to bridge the gap, but you're still stubbornly ignoring him. his heart hurts with every failed attempt, the distance between you feeling greater than ever.
he's on the edge, his mind constantly wandering to you. caleb misses you, he misses just being able to look at you and talk to you.
it was a friday night and you just got back from your closing shift, exhuasted as you plopped down on the couch. you still had a few assignments left to do, which were unfortunately due tonight.
an hour later, caleb enters the house, his shoulders slumped from exhaustion as well. his eyes immediately fall on you, sitting on the couch, head bent over a book.
"hey... how was work?" caleb asked softly, approaching you cautiously.
you ignored him, continuing to scribble notes in your notebook.
"pipsqueak, come on. i'm trying here. can't you at least look at me?" he groaned, frowning at your lack of response, but doesn't give up.
however, you continue to mind your own business, not paying him any mind.
"y'know, this silent treatment is getting old real fast. we need to talk." he lets out a frustrated sigh, crossing his arms.
he takes a seat on the chair across from the couch. he can see the tension in your body, the way you refuse to acknowledge him. it's driving him crazy.
"how long are you going to keep acting like a petulant child? you can't just ignore me forever." caleb scoffed, glaring at you.
he watched you scribble something on a blank sheet of notebook paper before tearing it out, crumpling and throwing it right at his face; before it fell on his lap.
"thanks." he sarcastically grumbled, unraveling the crumpled ball before reading what you wrote.
i'll try to.
his jaw tightened at your stubbornness. you got up from your seat, heading to the staircase to go up to your room. he's stunned speechless for a moment, staring at the crumpled paper. a wave of anger and hurt washes over him. he stands up, following after you.
enough is enough.
"you can't be serious. you're just going to shut me out like i'm nothing to you? y/n!" he catches up to you, grabbing your arm lightly to stop you from entering your room.
"let go, caleb." you spoke through gritted teeth.
he hesitates for a moment, his grip on your arm loosen slightly. he can see the pain in your eyes, the wall you've put up between you. it hurts him more than any physical pain he's ever felt.
you snatched away your arm before opening the door to your bedroom, slamming it shut right in his face.
caleb's shoulders slump, a frustrated sigh leaving his chapped lips as his fist rests on your door, not having the strength to knock and fight any further. initially he was planning to cancel the invite to the frat party taking place tonight, but after the constant failures of trying to mend his friendship with you, he needed to blow off some steam.
so, with a resigned look, he left your door and headed into his room to shower and get ready. as you heard his footsteps slowly disappearing, you slid down the door as your knees gave out, burying your face in your hands as you cried.
you've never felt this distraught in your life and you couldn't help but blame yourself. of course, it was always you who created trouble and chaos.
caleb was never obligated to be yours, you had no rights to snap at him for choosing someone else over you.
he's not yours.
but, god did it hurt whenever you remembered that. you wanted him to be yours so bad, it was suffocating. you wanted him to only think about you, laugh with you, spend every moment of this fucked up life... just with you.
you know it was wrong to think of him like this, after all, caleb's your best friend; the closest person you have left to call family.
these feelings that you tried so hard to bury years ago keep haunting you and come back stronger. it scares you because even after ruining so many things, you don't want to say something stupid and destroy everything you've built up till now.
just by saying those three words that you always say to him... but now with different meanings.
after a while, you heard caleb's bedroom door open before closing as you could hear his heavy footstep descending down the stairs. you suddenly remembered that today was the night of the frat party, so he was leaving to attend.
you fished out your phone from your purse, ringing your friend's facetime as you patiently waited for her to pick up.
"hey girl, why the sad face?" your friend on the other line asked, face washed with concern, noticing your tear-streaked face and puffy eyes.
"caleb." was the only thing you could mutter out before your lips quivered, eyes welling with tears again.
"oh sweetie, him again? ya gotta be stronger than that, y/n. we can't let these stupid boys dictate our lives, y'know? did you hear about the big senior frat going on tonight?" she asked, making you sigh.
"yeah, caleb just left a few minutes ago to attend. i was invited too, but caleb strictly told me no." you frowned as you recalled the memory. your friend scoffed, rolling her eyes as she heard your words.
"girl, fuck that asshole. you're a grown ass woman, you can go to a damn frat if you wanna. tell you what, the party's just beginning and the night is still young. how about i pick you up and we both go?" she suggested, a playful grin dancing on her lips.
your eyes widened, the thought of rebelling against caleb's words struck a little nerve in you, but you couldn't ignore the rush of adrenaline weirdly surging in you.
this would be your first time going against his words.
this was the proof of your change that you didn't need him to make all the decisions for you.
he didn't know you better than yourself.
fuck caleb, you can handle a damn frat party!
"okay, give me an hour." you smiled, making your friend giggle as she nodded in agreement and you both hung up a few seconds later.
that being said, you hopped in the shower to wash off all of today's sweat and gunk from working hard; leaving the bathroom smelling sweet and peachy.
you dug into your closet, reaching for your usual style of clothes; a skirt and a simple blouse. but, your hand stopped midway from pulling them out.
you remembered how people called you a ditzy bimbo, making fun of your skirts and cute blouses. they poked fun at you for wearing bows in your hair.
and caleb thinks that you're not the type that's meant to attend these frat parties.
a wave of anger washed over you, angrily jumbling that skirt and blouse back into your closet.
instead, you decided to take a more... risque option.
you pulled out a pair of low-rise deniem shorts that were definitely too short, keeping them unbuttoned as the black lace of your panties peaked out. for your top, you opted for a cropped cheetah print backless halter top that had a deep v-neck; the matching tag necklace you and caleb had hung right above your sternum.
you skipped your usual soft makeup, opting for a more simple yet alluring look; accentuating your features. without a second thought, you threw the bow on your dresser behind your back as it landed on your bed, you didn't need it tonight. you sprayed on some perfume and then slipped on a pair of black heels.
shortly after some last minute finishing touches, your friend came to pick you up.
"is this... the same y/n i talked to an hour ago. sweetie, you look sexy." she gawked at you, watching you giggle as you hopped into the passanger seat next to her.
"frat approved?" you asked cheekily, making your friend smirk.
"without a doubt."
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・
you pushed the unlocked front door open, immediately being welcomed with the deafening volume of music blaring into your ears. it was dark, flashes of neon lights were making your eyes trip as you walked inside. the foul scent of alcohol hit your nose, making your stomach churn as you could vividly remember begging caleb to change your route home when you both walked home from high school; just to avoid passing by the bar.
you lost sight of your friend, now being pushed amongst the crowd of drunk college graduates dancing and slurring the song lyrics. you swallowed harshly, trying to find a pocket to escape the dance floor; only to have your arm be pulled back.
your eyes widened as a gasp left your lips, turning around to see that it was one of caleb's friends; the guy who offered you his number.
"i see you didn't listen to your big bro caleb, huh? oooo~, he's gonna be mad when he finds out his sweet, innocent little girl is here, darling." obviously drunk, the guy snickered. you grimaced, shoving his hand away as you backed up, trying to create some distance.
"you think caleb's words are set in stone? i don't give two fucks about him, i'm my own person." you glared at the guy, words spitting out venom.
the guy's eyes glinted with amusement.
"oh? so the kitten finally found her voice. let me treat you to a drink to congratulate you." he smirked, pushing the red cup containing god knows what, towards you.
"i'm not drinkin' that shit, you could've spiked it." you scoffed, crossing your arms.
"guess you're not that brainless after all, darling. see ya around." the guy chuckled, shrugging before taking a sip of the drink instead, walking away.
you grumbled under your breath, already feeling like you stuck out like a sore thumb. you made your way to the table where all the liquor was spread out, deciding to make yourself one instead. you weren't dumb enough to accept a drink from just anyone.
after successfully (kinda) making a cup of some sort of concoction, your brought the rim of the red cup up to your glossy lips; the smell of the mixed liquor contents already making you wanna gag.
you took a deep breath, closing your eyes before taking a few big gulps of your drink. your throat burned, stomach threatening to retch as you could feel bile rush up your esophagus. your eyes screwed shut, trying to keep everything inside as you breathed heavily.
"eugh..." your body shivered.
you tried to take a few more sips, but you could see your body clearly rejecting it. so, you called quits, deciding to throw it away.
you walked towards the kitchen, sighing in defeat, concluding that maybe you really weren't meant for a life like this.
caleb was right.
your eyes were trained to the floor, not realizing who was in front of you as you bumped into someone's hard, muscular back.
"ow... sorry." you quickly apologized, but your eyes would soon widen in horror as your jaw dropped when the person turned around.
"the hell are you doin' here, y/n?" violet eyes pierced into you, caleb's taller frame towering over you as his voice was gravely.
"fuck.." you gulped, hand unknowingly squeezing at the plastic cup in your hand, making it creak.
his eyes dropped to your hands, eyebrows pinching in both irritation and concern. caleb snatched the cup out of your grasp, bringing it to his nose to take a few sniffs.
"are you fucking serious right now? who gave this to you? how much did you drink?" caleb bombarded you with questions, seething with anger, making your heart pound in your chest.
"none of your business, now give it back!" you used whatever remaining bits of courage you had in yourself to retort back to his interrogation; hands reaching for your cup, only to have him dodge your advances.
"god, are you that dumb, y/n? you never drank in your life and i'm asking you about what the hell you just put in your body! and the hell are you wearing?! i can see your fuckin' panties!" caleb's eyes darkened, speaking through gritted teeth as he stepped closer; amethyst eyes roamed all over your figure, making your knees turn into jelly.
"so? it's not like i'm walking around naked. also, i made that drink, so it's not spiked or somethin'." you huffed out, crossing your arms over your chest.
"yeah, no. we're going home." caleb scoffed, throwing your cup in the garbage before grabbing your wrist, about to drag you out of the kitchen; but you planted your heels firmly on the ground, tugging your hand back.
"no. if you wanna go home, then go by yourself. i came with my friend and i'm not leaving her, besides, the party just started." you shot him a sharp glare, your voice holding a slight tremble but you remained firm. caleb's face fell, looking at you with disbelief and exasperation.
"fuck your friend, we're going home. NOW." he sternly dismissed your words, bending down before wrapping his arm around your waist; swiftly lifting you up and throwing you over his shoulder.
"caleb, put me down! you can't do this!" you kick your feet in the air, but he remains unfazed, walking through the sea of people and towards the door.
"oh yeah i can, watch me. you're in a shit ton of trouble, pipsqueak. just wait till we get home."
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・
the ride home was silent and as soon as caleb's car stopped in front of your house, you angrily got out and unlocked the door; not wanting to spend a second more with him as he parked.
you kicked off your heels and ran upstairs to your room, slamming the door shut as you sat on your bed. not shortly after, caleb barged into your room, furious.
"the hell were you thinking?! you like pissing me off? i told you to stay home, didn't i?!" caleb yelled at you, making your blood boil.
"who the fuck do you think you are? we're not even actual family, stop trying act like you're my brother or somethin'! you don't get to tell me what to do!" you yelled back, grabbing your pillow before throwing it at him, trying to relieve your pent-up anger somehow.
however, caleb swiftly dodged your attack, walking closer to the edge of your bed where you were seated.
"repeat that, i dare you, fuckin' brat. who am i? i'm the one who's been dealing with your shit for all these years, giving you everything that you could possibly want; loving and caring for you. while you... while you drive me to the brink of insanity." his voice trembles, a shaky exhale leaving his throat as he reaches out to grab your chin; lifting your head up to force your eyes to meet his.
his gaze hardened when he saw the resentment in your eyes, but he knew that deep down you were trying to conceal yourself, to appear strong against him. caleb knew you like the back of his hand, you were throwing one of your tantrums again.
but, that's okay. if you wanted to be a brat, he has no other choice but to tame you.
caleb gently pushed your head backwards, making you fall back onto the bed. his larger frame hovered above your body, caging you between his arms as his necklace dangled above you. from this angle, you couldn't help but feel so... small and weak.
just like helpless prey.
you should be pushing him off, slapping him and cursing his entire existence. but, fuck... why did the familiar heat in your stomach begin to settle as your eyes shamelessly drank in the sight of his beefy bare biceps pining you below him. caleb's scent was surrounding you, the mix of apple cinnamon and cologne intoxicated your senses; making you wonder if it intensified because of the pheremones in the air.
whatever the fuck it was, you felt insanely horny.
"i was never like a brother to you, y/n. can't you see how badly i want you? how desperately my body craves for yours? are you that dense? i fuck my fist every night to the thought of you, how the fuck can i see you as family?" he speaks in a husky voice, body pressing down as you could feel the hard tent between his legs rub against the soft skin of your thighs.
"c-caleb.." you meekly call out to him, making him snap a look at you.
"what." he spat out, making the words die on your tongue as you zipped your lips.
caleb scoffed, leaning his head down to the crook of your neck, pressing soft kissing upwards to your jaw. you shuddered at the sudden feeling of his lips on your skin, making your breath hitch.
"since when did you wear shit like this, hm? you like flaunting this pretty ass of yours? showing off these cute tits?" caleb's voice was dire, his hand creeping under your shirt, caressing your sides.
"n-no.." you reply, feeling the bridge of his nose nuzzle in the crook of your neck; pressing open mouth kisses on your skin as you squirmed below him.
"then why'd you wear it? y'know i hate it when other guys look at you, when they go for what's mine." he sneered, tone possessive as he pulled away, looking at you with sharp eyes.
"wanted your attention... i-i wanted you to notice me." you stammered, hands reaching forwards to cup his face as you gazed into his violet eyes. he froze, admiring how beautiful you looked beneath him; it felt like he was dreaming.
"yeah? well, you got it." and without another word, he crashed his lips onto yours; pulling you into a searing kiss.
the kiss was needy, touch-starved and hungry. caleb moaned into your mouth, tongue licking at your bottom lip to beg for permission. a whimper flew out of your mouth as you felt his hips grind down between your legs, right on your clothed cunt as the friction of his hard cock felt so so good.
caleb took that as an opportunity to slide his tongue in your mouth, intertwining with your wet muscle as he suckled on it. he drank in your whimpers and moans, tasting every inch of your mouth. drool began to trickle down the corner of your mouth, the kiss being super messy as it was full of salive and teeth clashing. you never expected your first kiss to be this intense.
you used your arms to wrap around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer as you needed to feel him, smell him and just consume him whole.
it wasn't enough.
"please, caleb... i-i feel so h-hot. i need you now." you pleaded with a sultry voice and it took every single fiber of self-control within caleb's whole existence to just not blow his load in his pants.
"yeah? you need a lot of things from me, don't ya?" caleb snickers, pulling back as he now sat on your bed, shortly before tugging you towards him. now you were situated between his legs, back pressed against his warm chest.
"i-i'm sorry, caleb!" you breathed out an apology, but your futile attempt only amused him as he smirked.
"no, no, no. that's not gonna work on me tonight, pretty girl. you used up all your chances for forgiveness. and as for if you’ll get more… well that depends on how you behave." caleb whispered, leaning down to press a soft kiss on the shell of your ear before giving it a playful bite.
"i'll behave, promise." you pouted, resting your head on his shoulder as you looked up at him with bambi eyes, long mascara lashes batting.
caleb looked down at you with a calculated gaze, searching your eyes for any sign of truthfulness. he hums, his fingers tracing over your skin, their path slow and steady. there's a hint of tension in his body as he speaks, his voice rough and quiet.
"after that little stunt you pulled on me, i have a hard time believing you, pips. i think i need to teach you how to be more... appreciative and obedient, no?" his long, thick fingers squished your soft cheeks together; firmly holding you in place before pressing a hard smooch on your pouted lips that were now swollen from the previous sucking and biting.
caleb's other hand wandered south, cupping one of your perky tits as he fondled the supple fat through your barely-covering top. you moaned into his mouth, feeling the pad of his thumb brush against your pebbled nipple.
you could feel his lips curl from how responsive and sensitive your body was from his simple actions. caleb decided to toy with you for just a bit more. taking the tip of his index finger, he circled the swollen bud, making you shudder as your eyebrows pinched together.
"hnghh... caleb.." you desperately moaned against his lips, feeling him pinch your nipple through your top; teeth sinking on your shoulder as your eyes screwed shut.
"wearing such skimpy clothes, havin' your panties showing and wearing no bra... you're bold; daring even, i'll give ya that." he spoke huskily, trailing kisses to the back of your shoulder, before guiding his lips to the expanse of your back.
a loud gasp left your lips as you felt the tip of his tongue drag up your spine. caleb continued to press open-mouth kisses afterwards, nibbling down on your shoulder blades.
his keen eyes fell on the small knot tied behind your neck, sneaky fingers coming up to pull the string as it unraveled. your eyes widened as you felt the top part of your blouse loosen, his hands grabbing it to pull it down, making your tits spill out.
"fuck... beautiful. so damn beautiful, god.." caleb groaned, whispering honeyed words in your ears as he kissed your temple. he ogled at the sight, wondering for years how your boobs looked cupped behind your bra.
he's been jerking off to the perverted thought ever since he learned how to masturbate.
his large palms wasted no time in pawing and groping at the swell of your tits, feeling the warm fatty mounds of flesh beneath his callouses. you squeezed your thighs shut, biting down on your bottom lip as you felt his index finger and thumb toy with your hardened nipples, tugging at them.
caleb craned his head forwards, hand full of tit before latching his lips on one of your nipples. a whiny mewl left your mouth, feeling his tongue circling the sensitive bud before the tip of his wet muscle flicked at it.
"ahh, caleb! feels so g-good, hmm.." you breathed out, your hand going behind his head to scratch at the bottom of his scalp.
you nuzzled your face in his neck, pressing gentle kisses at his skin and trailed them up to behind his ears; and he could hear your soft uneven breathing as he continued to suckle and bite at your tits. his chocolatey brown lock tickled your nose as he continued his ministrations.
with a lewd 'pop', he released your nipple as a string of saliva connected his lips to your bud.
"lift your hips for me, princess." caleb commanded, your brain no longer located in your head but now in your pussy as you obeyed. with a swift motion, he grabbed the waistband of your deniem shorts and pulled them off; throwing it somewhere on the floor.
he leans down and kisses the side of your neck, his teeth scraping over your skin, a small possessive noise escaping him. his fingers find the sensitive skin of your hip, his touch firm, but gentle as he cups your hip, thumb tracing over the bone there.
his hand caressed your plush thighs, making your heart beat faster as his fingers inched higher to your achy cunt. caleb noticed how you pressed your legs just a bit tighter, a murky chuckle echoed in your ear.
"ah, so the problem is here." caleb pried your legs open with ease, a hand reaching down in between to cup your needy cunt. you leaned back into him, whining as you felt him trace your slit with a lithe finger.
"stop teasin' me, caleb." you glared at him, but that only sparked a flash of amusement and irritation within him.
"think i'm gonna give you whatever you want, brat? quiet, i need to make sure my sweet girl hasn't been interested in other men except for me." his voice dropped an octave lower, now tracing the laces on your black panties before digging his hands inside.
your jaw dropped as a soft moan escaped your lips, feeling his middle and index finger spread your slick covered folds open.
"you're dripping, baby. all for me?" he asked with a teasing voice, making you nod.
"only for you." you replied, making him smile in satisfaction.
"good, you passed the first part." caleb ran his finger between your sopping lips, the tip of his finger catching your swollen clit each time. you sighed in bliss as you felt him rub your sensitive bundle of nerves as he stroked your clit at a leisurely pace.
"f-fuck, oh caleb!" you cried out his name, your hand dragging up and down his meaty bicep.
"what a cute little pussy ya got, pips. she's gotten ten times more wetter after i played with her for a bit." he whispered dirtily, but his words made you clench on nothing as it sent heat straight down south.
"you touch yourself?" caleb asked, his fingers continuing to rub your pussy while his other hand busied itself with massaging your tits.
you shamelessly nodded, but your response left him frowning as you felt a sharp impact on your wet cunt.
"c'mon, you're a big girl, no? use your words, y/n." he snarks, pinching your clit.
"y-yes!" you cried out in pleasure.
"good girl, wanna hear your voice, 'kay? who do you touch yourself to?" he continued to interrogate you, making your cheeks heat up as you felt like a mouse being caught by the big, scary cat.
"you.." you whispered.
"louder." he strictly barked, slapping your pussy again as you yelped from the pain mixed with pleasure.
"you! you, caleb!" you groaned, feeling his finger drag between your dripping folds in a painfully slow pace.
"oh? tell me more." caleb pressed on, making you huff in annoyance as you knew that this was his way of punishing you. to embarrass you after you ignored him for the whole week.
oh, he was gonna make you talk to him now.
"no, it's too embarrassing." you shook your head, making him scoff.
"you don't wanna talk? fine, i guess i'll just leave." he suddenly threatened, hands attempting to pull away from your pussy, but you were quick to grab his wrist and clamp your thighs shut; locking his hand in place.
"no! fine, fine, i'll tell you! ughhh.." you grumbled, bracing yourself to let go every bit of dignity you had inside you.
"mhm, go on. i'm listening." caleb smiled at your compliance, fingers resuming their work on rubbing circles on your clit to stimulate the bud.
"after you came back from the gym and took a shower, i-i went to your room to ask you for some help on my homework. your bathroom door was open and i saw your soaking wet body, a small towel wrapped around your waist. your back is so broad and muscular, i wouldn't help but wonder how it'd look with my nail marks." you admitted, making his eyes widen.
"you peeked in on me and touched yourself? what a naughty girl." he smirked, voice harboring a faux accusatory tone, when in reality his cock just throbbed at your confession.
you were just as perverted as him.
"h-hahh.. sorry, i d-didn't mean to!" you apologized innocently.
"lying to me won't help you, pips. ever had a finger in here?" his finger pressed against your hole, making your breath catch in your throat.
"yeah." you weakly answered, hearing him hum as he prodded at the tight opening, making you wince.
"yeah? she's so tight." caleb muttered, plunging in a thick digit as a choked moan ripped out of your throat from the sudden stretch. he grunted, feeling your wet, velvety walls clamp down on his finger.
you've fingered yourself a few times, but your fingers were so small and slim compared to caleb's long and thick ones. he began to slowly thrust his finger in and out of your hole to loosen you up, your eyes rolled back from the pleasure he was providing you with.
"ahhh~! need more, caleb." you heaved a sigh, face flushed as your lips were now glossy with spit from how much you licked them.
"eager are we?" caleb teased with a wicked grin, complying as he pushed in a second finger, making you gasp as your thighs instinctively closed.
"tch, don't be a brat." he growled, an almost bruising grip on your thighs as he peeled them back open.
in spite, he sped up the movement of his fingers that were now fucking into you. the thick digits scissored inside your hole at an unforgiving pace, grazing your cervix as you'd never even dream of your fingers caressing that sweet spot.
your juices gushed down your inner thighs, coating his fingers with a sheen layer as your folds were now sticky. his fingers continued to rub your walls deliciously, moans and whimpers flying out of your mouth mixed with whiny calls of his name; sounding like music to his ears.
suddenly, he withdrew his fingers, the tip of his middle finger drawing languid, purposeful circles on your twitching clit. your nose flared in frustration, pouting as you glared at him.
"caleb!" your voice was between a moan and a bellowed cry.
"good girls get what they want. c'mon, pips, ask nicely and maybe... just maybe i'll give you what you want." he egged further, making your pupils blow wide open.
he wanted you to beg?
"n-no! i'm not beggin' you." you argued stubbornly.
"is that so? then have fun finishing yourself off." he lightly pushed you off, making you groan in annoyance.
"okay, okay! sorry, please—god, please caleb. make me cum, please?" you begged, giving him the most nastiest and fuckable looking puppy eyes you could muster.
and it worked like a damn charm.
"see? that wasn't so hard, now was it?" he pressed a chaste kiss on your head before delving his fingers back into your achy cunt. you felt him sink his fingers deeper into you, making your mouth gape open as you used your hand to pull his face towards you—sloppily kissing him.
he's everywhere, his touch all-consuming, his body pressed against yours, his desire for you an almost tangible thing.
he swallowed your moans as you began to rock your hips forwards, fucking yourself on his hand; finger-fucking your dripping hole relentlessly. the obscene sounds your wet cunt produced was pornographic, the squelching noises of his slick covered fingers plunging in and out of your hole was nasty and hot.
caleb feels your walls pulsate around him, clenching as your thighs begin to quiver to indicate your incoming orgasm. your pussy drooling on his fingers made him eager to slip them out just to lick for a quick taste, but he wasn't that mean to ruin your orgasm for a second time.
the familiar warm, burning sensation now welcomed your lower stomach. you wriggled in his hold, feet digging into the sheets as your hand came down to grab at his wrist.
"w-wait! slow down, it's too much!" you breathed out, feeling like you were at the edge.
caleb rolled his eyes, not paying mind to your pleas as he continued to finger you through your orgasm. his free hand came down to press against your lower stomach, making your eyes widen as the pressure increased while his fingers plunged deeper in and out of your leaking hole, prodding at your cervix with each deep push.
"can't be too fast but can't be too slow. need to be rough but also need to be gentle. tch, you are sooo hard to please, princess." caleb draws out his words, thrusting his fingers inside your sloppy hole as your cunt sucked them in greedily.
"nghhh~ c-caleb i feel weird.. s-stop!" your words were empty, feeling your cunt gush all over his hand. a small stream of warm, clear liquid squirted out of your hole, making your eyes widen as you watched caleb press your lower stomach a little harder.
"that's it, pretty girl. give it to me." he talked you through your release, hand now drenched in your cum and juices. you tried to catch your breath, feeling like you just ran a marathon.
caleb slipped his fingers out of your ruined pussy, bringing them to his lips before his tongue lapped at his cum-covered digits. he hummed in satisfaction, enjoying your taste.
"so sweet." he praised, making you shudder.
you lifted yourself off of him, turning your body to face him with a scowl as you crossed your arms over your chest.
"you're such a jerk! you didn't let me cum the first time." you complained, making him cock an eyebrow.
"is that how you say thank you after i made you cum so hard? what an ungrateful mouth ya got, pips." caleb's eyes darkened, now settling to sit on his knees.
you gulped harshly, watching the slow yet calculated movements of his fingers working through his belt before unzipping his jeans; pulling the waistband of his pants and boxers down. his cock sprang to life, hitting against his clothed abs as your eyes widened at the sheer size and girth of his dick.
caleb was fucking hung, to say the least.
the dark pinkish mushroom tip of his hard cock angrily wept with beads of precum. he was long and thick, at least a good eight inches as his heavy cum-filled balls were settled on his waistband. a singular pulsating vein ran up the underside of his cock, a small peek of the dark happy trail leading to his huge cock graced your eyes.
"let's put that bratty mouth of yours to some good use, yeah?" caleb's hand reached out, thumb grazing your lower lip before pushing it a bit further, probing into your mouth. your tongue poked out as he pressed down on it, making you playfully bite down.
his body is trembling, his breath coming in ragged gasps. caleb's hands are everywhere, touching, grasping, holding you. he's desperate, every kiss, every touch filled with a raw, primal need.
caleb pulls you closer, his body hot against yours, his muscles coiled and tense. he's lost, drowning in you, his mind filled with nothing but the need to touch you, to be closer to you, to claim you as his own. he kisses down your neck, his mouth finding your collarbone, his teeth leaving marks, his hands leaving bruises.
you felt his bare cock rub against the smooth skin of your thighs, the tip smearing a trail of warm precum. you reached down to wrap your hand around his massive girth, making a ragged moan rip out of his throat, muffling the sound by biting down on your neck; leaving a purplish bruising mark to claim you as his.
"you're so big, caleb." you whispered, thumbing at his tip as you ran your finger along his wet slit.
caleb swallowed harshly, grunting as he felt you stroking his cock; noting how your small hands could barely hold him. it only made him wonder...
how much could your mouth take?
he kisses over the tender flesh of your boobs, his teeth grazing over your skin, his touch growing rougher, more demanding with each movement. he's desperate, craving you, his hand gripping your hip, his fingers.
he pulls away for a moment, trying to catch his breath as he looks down at you. his hand tenderly comes up to cup your face, tilting your head up to make you meet his eyes.
"you gonna be a good girl for me, princess?" he asks, thumb grazing over the apple of your cheek. you nodded, kissing the inside of his palm.
"mhm, promise." you gave him a girly smile, making his heart and cock jump at the same time.
you leaned down, pressing a teasing kiss on his tip, making caleb's jaw hang open from the contact. you gave small kitten-licks, tasting the slightly salty taste of his precum.
you grabbed a hold of his thick shaft before opening your mouth as wide as you could; feeding yourself his cock inch by inch until you felt the tip hit your uvula. the sudden warmth and wetness of your mouth welcoming caleb's hard dick made his muscles tense, hands unknowingly finding purchase in your hair as he pushed you towards his pelvis.
you gagged at the sudden movement, making caleb moan from the sudden tightness in your throat. you began to bob you head at a steady pace, sucking his cock with vigor as you pushed yourself to take as much of his massive length. whatever was left behind was tended by your hands.
you hollowed your cheeks, tongue circled around his tip before suckling on it like a lollipop, as caleb's head was thrown back from the intense pleasure you were giving him.
"fuuuuuckkk, just like that. good girl—h-hahhhh... such a good fuckin' girl." a ragged breath leaves his mouth, feeling the tip of your tongue trace the rigid line of the vein that ran up the side of his cock before swirling it around the sensitive head of his dick.
his hips buck slightly into your touch, seeking more of that delicious friction. caleb look down at you with lust-filled eyes, his gaze hazy and unfocused.
"where'd you learn how to do all of this, huh?" caleb groans, voice strained and tight with pleasure. he throws his head back with a low moan, eyes fluttering shut as the sensations overwhelm him. caleb's cock throbs and pulses in your warm mouth, growing even harder as you shove his cock deeper in your throat.
the feeling of your lips stretching around his girth while your tongue worked along the underside of his shaft felt like pure ecstasy. caleb grips your hair tighter, guiding your head as you bob up and down faster.
caleb begins to rock his hips slightly to meet your movements. he can feel the pleasure building rapidly, heart pounding in his ribs and breath growing ragged.
"fuck, fuck, fuuuckkkk.... gonna cum. shit, gonna cum so much down your throat, princess." caleb cries out, dick twitching in your throat as he bucks his hips into your mouth desperately to chase his high. the erotic sight of your hair framing your face while swallowing his massive hard cock sent pleasure waves all throughout his veins, adrenaline pumping as his balls ached for release.
suddenly you pull your mouth away, leaving his throbbing, aching cock exposed and pulsing in the cool air. a choked moan rips out of his throat, frustration warring with the lingering pleasure. caleb frowns slightly, brows knitting together.
before he could even put in a word of retaliation, you harshly tangled your fingers in his hair, pulling him in for a nasty-cum coated open-mouthed kiss. caleb grunts from the sudden action that caught him off-guard, still recovering from the shocks of his denied orgasm.
the sounds of his moans and groans are muffled by your invading tongue. you kiss him with a fervor that steals his breath away, lips sloppy and wet against his. caleb can taste the lingering essence of his own precum on your tongue.
your tongue pushes deeper, stroking along his, sliding against the roof of his mouth. caleb can feel his cock throbbing almost painfully against your thigh, leaking and twitching with each roll and swirl of your sly tongue.
he grabs a hold of your jaw, forcing the two of your to part as he tries to catch his breath. clearly you were trying to distract him from what you did a few minutes ago, but he wasn't about to let that shit slide.
"you think you're funny, huh?" caleb pants harshly, reaching down to grip his spit-slicked cock, giving it a few slow, teasing strokes as he gazes at you with a mix of longing and bewilderment.
"you're gonna pay for that, brat." he glares darkly, shoving your head down towards his pelvis; rubbing the swollen, leaking head of his cock against your soft, plump lips, smearing them with his precum. you gasp at the sudden maneuvering, planting your hands on his thighs to ground yourself.
"open your fucking mouth." caleb commanded with a thick tone, and as soon as he felt your lips part, he thrusted his hips upward, driving his thick cock past your lips and deep into your warm, tight throat. he held your head in place, using your mouth like his personal fleshlight. caleb groaned at the sudden sensation of your throat clenching around his sensitive flesh.
caleb fucked your face with deep, rough strokes. the wet, obscene sounds of you choking and gagging filled the room as he used your mouth, heavy balls slapping against your chin with each brutal thrust.
"gonna fuck your pretty little throat until you're nothing but a sloppy, drooling mess." he promises darkly, voice strained with pleasure and a hint of cruelty.
your throat constricts around his pistoning cock as caleb's thrusts become more erratic, more desperate, as he chased his rapidly approaching orgasm. the room fills with the wet, gagging sounds of your struggles followed by his guttural moans. drool and precum mix together, dripping down onto your heaving tits.
you weakly tap at his thighs, only for him to ignore your feeble attempts; too far gone and lost in his pleasure from the wet heat of your convulsing throat. he's determined to take what he needs and use you until he's satisfied.
"no tapping out, brat. you're gonna-hnghh... fuck, you're gonna take what i give. gonna blow my load and you're gonna swallow every last drop." caleb can barely form coherent thoughts, brain fogged by how good your mouth felt swallowing his aching cock.
with a final, brutal thrust, he buries himself balls-deep in your mouth, swollen cock pulsing and throbbing. caleb throws his head back with a guttural, animalistic groan as he starts to cum; hot, thick and sticky webs erupting directly down your throat to paint it white.
caleb holds your head in place, forcing you to take every last drop as he fills your stomach with his seed. he can feel you swallowing desperately around his pulsing dick, trying to gulp down his load.
caleb releases his grip on your hair and pulls you off of his now softening cock. you gasp for air, coughing and sputtering, thick ropes of his cum and drool dripping from your fucked-out mouth.
"you don't like it when i play nice, huh." caleb taunts, reaching out to catch a stray drop of cum and drool on your cheek with his finger.
"y-you! i hate you!" you glared at him, face now flushed with embarrassment as your plan of getting payback completely flopped.
"don't glare at me like that. i just cummed down your pretty little throat, what do you say?" he asks, making you pout as you look to the side.
"don't ignore me." he scowls, squishing your cheeks to make you face him and you groaned.
"t-thank you, caleb!" your words were muffled, but he heard you. caleb scoffed, letting go of you before swiftly taking off his shirt. he pushed you down into the mattress, parting your thighs to slot himself between them. violet eyes gleamed with a newfound hunger as he drank in the sight of your glorious dishevelment.
"i should lock you up... put a bell around your neck to know where you're headed when you wanna act against my words." caleb snarls, making you gulp as you felt slightly intimidated by the shift in the atmosphere.
however, your eyes were now trained on his well-sculpted muscular body. there was a thin sheen layer of sweat glistening on his chest from the shocks of his intense orgasm.
he grinds his hips forward, rubbing his erection along your panty-covered slit. the damp patch on your underwear grows, the fabric clinging to your swollen folds. caleb can feel the heat radiating off your core, drawing him in as his slick covered cock smears a mix of his cum and spit on your panties.
"oh, caleb!" you squealed at how deliciously the hard ridge of his cock slid along your slit, grazing over your puffy clit. your panties were now soaked with a mix of your juices, his cum and spit all combined; making it easy for him to glide his dick over your clothed pussy.
"tell me, why do you insist on running away from me, huh? don't you know you're mine? that i'll always find you?" caleb murmurs, his voice low and possessive.
he hooks his fingers in the waistband of your panties and yanks them to the side, baring your dripping slit to his hungry gaze. caleb notches his bulbous cock head at your entrance, the swollen tip nudging against your slick folds. he doesn't push inside, not yet.
caleb's cock throbs against your bare folds, the thick shaft sliding along your sticky slit. the bulbous head nudging against your sensitive clit with each roll of his hips. he watches with dark satisfaction as your twitching little bud peeks out from beneath its hood, swollen and glistening with your juices.
"look at this greedy cunt, so hungry for my cock," caleb rasps, his voice heavy with lust. he circles his hips, grinding his hard dick against your aching clit. the motion sends sparks of pleasure shooting up your spine, making your back arch off the mattress.
he feels your slick arousal coating his shaft, your juices dripping down to his heavy balls. the sensation only spurs him on, urges him to rut against her harder, faster.
he wants to fucking ruin you.
caleb leans down and captures your mouth in a searing kiss, his tongue invading your mouth and claiming it as his own. he swallows every whimper, every mewl of pleasure that escapes your lips. his cock jumps against your folds, the thick length pulsing with a mind of its own.
"gonna make this pussy sloppy with my cum. fuck, you need my cock so bad, don't you?" he breathes out, words failing to process in your head as you just nodded.
"yes, yes, yes! oh please, caleb... f-feel so so good. nghhh~ love your cock..!" you cried out, seeing stars as you can feel every ridge and vein of his shaft as it drags between your wet folds; the tip of his weeping slit kissing your clit each time he snaps his hips forward.
your fingers claw at caleb's shoulders, nails digging into his skin as you cling to him. the heat building inside you coils tighter and tighter, inner walls starting to flutter on nothing as you could feel your incoming orgasm.
it takes everything in him to not slam his cock in you and fuck you to an oblivion.
"s-shit, gonna cum." caleb lets out a strangled moan, his cock pulses and jerks against your folds, the tip flaring angrily and leaking a thick spurt of cum. the hot, sticky liquid coats your folds, as caleb continued to grind his hips against yours; the lewd shlick shlick sounds of your wet cunt rubbing against his cum-coated cock nearly made you cum again undone.
"you're having too much fun." you cleared your throat, looking at him with a serious look.
"am i, now?" he innocently responds, making your irritation grow. using whatever bits of strength you had left, you pushed yourself up to sit before shoving him to the side; making him fall onto the bed.
he let you, of course.
hunger-filled amethyst eyes trailed your every move like a predator, licking his lips to revive some moisture.
"you never shut up, do you? always fuckin' nagging at me like i'm some dumb little kid. like you know everything! i'm sick of your shit, i can't stand you!" you yelled through gritted teeth, making him cock an eyebrow at your sudden change in attitude.
"yeah? can't stand me? then fucking sit, princess." caleb snarls back with equal bite.
your eyes darken, a twisted smirk ghosting on your lips.
"you know what, i will." you barked out a small chuckle, grabbing a hold of the waistband of your panties to shove them down; completely discarding them to the side.
you draped your leg over to the other side of his head, your dripping pussy hovering right above his face. caleb's eyes were trained on your cunt, engraving how your folds glistened with slick, puffy little clit cutely peeking out of your lips.
"no more talking. be a good boy and eat." you sternly directly, before putting your weight on him, mashing your dripping slit against his eager mouth.
caleb grips your hips hard, his fingers sinking into the soft flesh of your ass.
"i could eat this pretty pussy all fucking day." caleb groans against your folds, his voice muffled but dripping with desire. he leans in and takes a long, slow lick up your slit, his tongue delving between your swollen pussy lips to lap at your juices.
"aahhh, yes... oh caleb, mhmmm..." you drawled out, eyes rolling back at you grinding your needy cunt against his tongue.
caleb's tongue swirls around your sensitive clit, flicking and circling the swollen bud as he sucks it between his lips. he presses open-mouthed wet smooches; the smacking and slurping sounds rang loud and clear in your head.
"thaaatsss what i wanna hear. fuck, so good." you giggle, drunk in pleasure as your head was thrown back in ecstasy. your fingers tighten in his hair, manicured nails peeking through his dark brown locks.
caleb's eyes were closed, relishing in your taste and the feel of your soft, wet pussy that was now making out with his tongue. it was perfect, everything he could possibly dream of when he used to desperately suck on the gausset of your soiled stolen panties.
you tasted so sweet, he's becoming addicted.
"so tired of hearing you. always so fuckin' mean to me... so b-bossy—hnghhh... always a fuckin' bitch when you don't get your damn way." you spoke through broken sentences, biting down on your lips, tasting the metallic taste of blood as soft whimpers were drawn from your throat.
as you grind your hips against caleb's face, his nose nudges against your clit with each desperate roll. the little bud, swollen and throbbing from his relentless assault, catches on the bridge of his nose with each downward thrust.
he takes advantage of the sensation, tilting his chin to rub his nose against her clit. his tongue darted out to tease your aching hole, jaw gaped open as you feel him plunge his tongue inside. he drives his muscle in and out, lips sealed around your entrance to catch every drop of your sweet juices. the lewd sound of wet, sloppy sucking fills the room as he eats you out with vigor.
his tongue pokes and curls inside your wet walls, making wanton moans escape your lips as you tugged on his hair. your eyes screwed shut, short, sharp gasps itched your throat.
"yes, yes, yes! h-hahhh, so good. fuck, gonna cum!" you cried out, pressing your leaking cunt down on his face, smoothering him completely. caleb was completely pussy drunk, his brain short-circuited. you body tensed, thighs trembling as you could feel your lower stomach tighten; reaching your high.
"caleb!" you moaned out his name in the most pornographic tone ever, body jerking from the after shock as your pussy gushed all over his face; coating his chin and lips with your cum. he lapped at your wet, overstimulated cunt to clean you up, not wanting to waste a single drop.
you hastily grabbed at the headboard, trying to escape but his fingers dug into the soft flesh of your hips to yank you back down, locking you in place as he sucked you dry.
"s-stop, it's too much." you breathed out, pushing his head away. with one final slow and long drag of his tongue between your sticky folds followed by a wet kiss on your clit; he finally pulls away, licking his lips.
you watch his face peek out from between your thighs, a lazy wet smirk dancing on his lips. violet eyes staring up at your flushed face, watching the small beads of sweat trickle down the side of your face. caleb presses soft kisses on your inner thighs, making goosebumps form all over your body; still recovering from the sensitivity your previous orgasm gave you.
"you've been holding all of that inside you for a while, huh? that nobody of a girl made your panties twist so hard that you've been acting so harsh with me. i'm hurt." caleb's words were soft spoken, tone lace with an undertone of sadness, lips grazing against the skin of your thighs.
"you're hurt? what about me? i watched you smile and laugh with her like she told you the world's funniest joke ever. you seen her these past few months more than you've been home. and... a-and-" you could feel the familiar lump form in your throat, eyes pricking with tears as you silently cursed at yourself for still being so weak.
caleb's gaze softened, heart clenching at the sight of seeing you hold back tears. nonetheless, he remained quiet, wanting to hear you out and speak to him after your unforgiving silent treatment.
deep down, he knew that neither of you wanted things to head down south. you wanted to fix things and so did he, and this was the only way.
the only chance the both of you will have to be so vulnerable to each other, so weak and soft.
"you cooked for her caleb. i thought... i thought that was something you only did for me. i feel special when you care for me, knowing that there's still someone left on this planet that'll put up with me. that... that i still have you to find home in." with that being said, all your walls came crashing down as warm tears ran down your cheek, bottom lip quivering. each droplet landed on his cheek, making his gut twist in guilt for hurting you so much unknowingly.
"pips... i never cooked for her with any intention. i showed her a picture of the omurice i made for you and she wanted the recipe. i just showed her the technique i used to fold the egg." caleb explained, lithe fingers softly caressing the softness of your hips, tracing the small faint lines of your stretch marks that he adored so much.
"r-really? so you don't hate me?" you sniffled, making him let out a small laugh.
"of course not, silly girl. where'd you get that from? you know i love you more than life itself, y/n. you're my whole world, everything in my life revolves around you, pips. without you... i'm nothing." he sincerely confessed, his voice raw with emotion as if every last word was ripped straight out of the depths of his heart that bled for you and only you.
he looked at you like you hung the stars for him, like your gentle arms cradled the moon in the night sky to shine light in his dark life; like you were the warmth of the sun that embraced him.
you moved down, now sitting on his stomach before leaning down; releasing your weight to lay on him.
"oh, my sweet girl." instinctively, caleb wrapped his arms around you. he pressed a tender kiss on the top of your hair, gently stroking your back to soothe you as you cried.
"i'm sorry, caleb." you choked out, making him shake his head.
"you have nothin' to be sorry for, baby. i'm sorry for not realizing how much i was hurting you." caleb apologized, making you tighten your embrace.
"why do you put up with me?" you genuinely asked.
was it pity?
emotional attachment?
"because i love you." he answered without any hesitation, making your heart flutter.
"you're stupid." you laugh, making him chuckle. you pulled away, face hovering above his as you looked down at his handsome face, his features already memorized and engraved within the deep crevices of your brain.
"you think i'm kidding? i'll prove it to you then." caleb wipes away the stray tear on your cheek before bringing his hand behind your head, pulling you in for a kiss.
it wasn't rough or messy like the previous ones. no, this one was different, felt different. his lips were molding with yours, just like how his soul molded with yours whenever you were in his arms; safe and sound. he felt warm, smelled like home and felt like heaven on earth.
with a firm arm wrapped around you, holding your body in place with his, he manhandled you; now having you under him as his broad stature hovered above you.
after giving him your whole heart essentially and having that sappy conversation, you suddenly felt shy under his gaze. with a swift motion, you rolled onto your stomach, hiding your face in the sheets. a warm smile was painted on his lips, finding your actions adorable.
"hiding that pretty face of yours from me? how selfish of you." he teased, his words held no malice. caleb moved your hair to the side, exposing more of your skin as he pressed soft kisses all over your back; trailing down your spine.
suddenly, his eyes fall on the inked words on your lower back.
kiss here 💋
his eyes widened, never noticing the tattoo because your panties probably hid it from him or something.
it must've been recent.
"when did you get this?" he questions, tracing the words with the tip of his finger.
"a month ago." you blurted out, words slightly muffled due to your face being buried in the mattress.
"and you didn't tell me? who did it? was it a guy?" caleb bombarded you with questions, voice sounding a little on edge.
"relax, it was one of my girl friends. she recently opened up her own tattoo shop and i offered to be her first client." you defended, but the situation didn't switch directions regardless.
"could've been an animal for all i care. only i can see you like this." he presses wet smooches on your tattoo repeatedly, making you sigh in bliss.
you could feel his hard cock rubbing against the swell of your ass, his hips rutting against you to gain some kind of friction. caleb grunted, licking and kissing your flesh.
"tell me you want it, y/n. please, i-i... i need to hear you say that you want me as bad as i want you." caleb begged, making your breath hitch as you felt his arm dig under your stomach, lifting your waist.
you turned your head a little, eyes locking with him.
"please caleb, i want you so bad. i need you, only you. please, fuck me." your voice was broken with desire, feeling yourself getting wet as you clenched your thighs tightly together.
as you lay face down on the bed, legs slightly spread hips tilted up, caleb kneels behind you, taking in the tantalizing view of your ass and the glistening, swollen folds of your pussy peeking out from between your thighs. he can see the way your body trembled with anticipation, heat radiating off your skin.
"gonna make you feel so good, sweet girl. i'll take care of you." caleb leans down, trailing open-mouthed kisses along the curve of your spine, his hands kneading the soft globes of your ass before kissing it.
he parts your thighs further with his knees as he positions himself behind you, hard, thick cock hovering over your entrance. he takes a moment to rub the leaking tip up and down your sticky slit, coating himself in your slick arousal as the head of his cock swipes at your clit a few times.
the fat, mushroom tip of his dick prods at your tight hole, making you gasp as you feel him push it in.
"breathe, baby. i got you, i promise." caleb softly whispered, his free hand rubbing up and down the sides of your thigh.
slowly, he begins to push in further, feeding your wet cunt more inches of his massive cock. a yelp escaped your lips from the pain of being stretched, the sensation foreign. your arms gave out, body now slumped on the bed as you shoved your face in the bed, muffling your painful winces as you gripped the sheets.
"i know, honey... i'm sorry, i promise it'll feel better." caleb groaned, feeling your walls fluttering around his cock. he takes his time, letting you adjust to his size.
he was barely halfway in, but you already felt so full of him, like you were one.
caleb's hand reached down to rub your clit, trying to provide some kind of pleasurable stimulation to distract you from the pain. after some time, he pushed his hips further in, making you take more of his cock until you were stretched to the brim, a small bulge forming in your lower stomach.
caleb pants, cock enclosed by your soft, wet, gummy walls. he suddenly pulled back until the tip of his cock threatened to slip out. confused, you raised your head to look back at him, only for the wind to be knocked out of your lungs as he snapped his hips forward with a sharp thrust, making your eyes blow wide open as a squeal ripped out of your throat.
"you're doing so well, y/n. taking me so beautifully, like you were made for this, made to be mine. i love you so fucking much, baby. i want this to be everything you've ever dreamed of." caleb moaned, fucking into you at a leisure pace, making you whimper as the pain subsided to a delicious pleasureable feeling.
he leans down, pressing a tender kiss on your nape, his flushed chest pressed against your back. caleb grinds his pelvis against your hips, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix as you were filled to the brim.
"caleb! hnghhh... s-so full.." you mewled, your body hot and trembling as he continued to thrust in and out of your sloppy hole that was now leaking on his cock.
you shuddered, feeling his hips pistoning into you, dick driving into you deeper and deeper as your walls clamped down on it. the single vein on his cock rubbed your velvety walls, making your eyes roll back at you could feel his dick pulsate inside you.
caleb's eyes land on the pink bow discarded on the side of your bed, arm reaching out to grab the clip. he clips the bow onto your hair, before kissing the back of your head.
"beautiful, so damn beautiful." he praised, breathless.
his thrusts are still slow and deliberate but growing steadily harder, deeper, more purposeful. he takes his time, savoring each slide of his thick cock through your tight, virgin cunt, each clench and flutter of your walls around him, each breathless little sound that escapes your lips.
caleb's hand snakes around your hip, slipping down to the juncture of your thighs. he finds your swollen, aching clit and starts to circle it with the pad of his thumb, his touch maddeningly slow and teasing at first before growing more insistent, more demanding.
"f-fuck, you're perfect. been dreaming of this moment my whole life, baby. i love you, god, i love you so much! h-ahhh... please, please, please. oh sweet girl, tell me you love me. please? oh, i'll do anything for you. anything!" he desperately ruts against you, thrusts becoming more needy as he grunts in your ears.
caleb was was balls deep in you, each stroke was sharp but it hit all the right spots. his balls heavily slapped against your clit, making you cry out in pleasure. he licks and bites down on your shoulder, intoxicated by your smell and taste.
your hand reaches behind him, fingers finding his dog-tag necklace as you tugged it; pulling his face closer. you turned your head to the side, lifting it before locking your lips with his. with the sloppiness of his thrusts, you chased the movements of his lips.
"i love you, caleb. fu-nghh~ i've always loved you, always! there's no man for me unless it's you. god, i love you so bad, my body craves you... only you." you moaned against his lips, eyes gazing into his violets with nothing but pure adoration.
caleb's heart pounds against his ribs, blood rushing to his cock as adrenaline pumps into his veins. his hips never faltered, a steady pace as he continues to bruise your cervix with each deep thrust.
"you're mine, only mine. i'm the only one who can see you like this, make you fall apart like this. god, you were made to be loved by me." and suddenly, his eyes prick with tears as the fat drops trickle down his cheek.
you could feel the familiar coil tightening in your lower stomach, making your thighs tremble as your toes curled in pleasure.
"fuck, fuck... oh, caleb! i'll study hard, so fuckin' hard. i'll become a nurse in the DAA, so that i can be with you all the time. everyone will know that your mine, only mine!" your eyes screwed shut, brain fogged with nothing but the feeling of being so cock drunk.
caleb's pupils dilated, the possessive undertone of your words, how you claimed him and wanted to be with him; it's all that it took for him to blow his load.
"cumming, fuck, gonna breed this sweet pussy." caleb groaned, arm circling around your hips to deeply nestle his cock in you; thick, sticky webs of cum painting your walls white. he continued to thrust his dick inside, feeling your walls twitch before gushing all over him, drenching his balls as a white ring of cum formed at the base of his shaft.
caleb rests his body on top of yours, careful to not crush you with his entire weight. the two of you are completely breathless, bodies covered in sweat.
he pulls out his now soft cock, watching your hole gape open from the loss of contact of being stretched with his massive girth. his cum spilled out of your messy cunt, trickling down and onto the bed.
caleb laid on the side, scooting closer to pull you against him. you wrapped your arms and legs around him, clinging to his body heat as you nuzzled your face against his chest. he stroked your hair, brushing the baby hairs that stuck to your sweaty forehead.
your eyelids fluttered open, a hazy look as you looked up at him. he gave you a soft smile, leaning down to press a kiss on the tip of your nose before pressing a long, tender kiss on your lips.
"tired." you mumbled, making him laugh.
"yeah? get some sleep, pips. i'll clean you up." he offers, making you giggle.
"wow, ten out of ten aftercare. no wonder why every girl wants you." you grin, but he could sense a small undertone of sadness in your voice.
"aftercare that they'll never get to experience because they're not you, y/n. this was my first time too, y'know." caleb shyly admitted as the tips of his ears turned red, making your eyes widen in suprise.
"seriously?" you asked, a bit baffled.
"yeah, it felt wrong to be with any other girl that wasn't you." he sheepishly smiled, making your heart skip a beat.
he saved himself for you all this time.
caleb grabbed the matching necklace that sat gracefully on your tits, brushing his thumb over the cold metal.
"i love you and only you. y/n, you're the woman of my dreams, the only one who can make my heart beat with purpose." caleb's tone was sincere, words pure with love.
your fingers wrapped around his chain, bringing the tag pendant closer to you.
"and you're the only one my heart is set to love, caleb." you smiled warmly, eyes lovingly gazing at him.
the two of you kissed each other's pendant, sealing the heartfelt confession.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・
it was finally the day that caleb would graduate from university and the DAA program. you were excited to attend his graduation, your heart swelling with pride as you knew how hard he worked for all his achievements.
he passed his exams and necessary coursework, graduating with honors and securing a full-time job at the DAA. god, just how much more perfect could he get?
you entered the huge stadium, holding a bouquet of colorful lilies and orchids. you took a seat in the sea of parents that came to see their children walk on the stage, fixing your white sundress.
the ceremony began as the faculty members began to give their boring speeches. soon after, it was time to hand the degrees and certificates as each graduate began to walk across the stage.
your heart leaped into your throat as you watched caleb step up the stairs of the stage, his name being called and a loud scream of his name erupted from your throat as you cheered for him proudly.
"i love you baby!!" you yelled from the back, but your voice caught his ear as he turned to the audience, immediately finding your face. he shot you a charming smile, waving before walking off the stage.
you felt like a fan who's celebrity crush finally noticed them.
after the ceremony was over, all the students scrambled in different directions to congratulate friends and hug their family. you finally made it past the swarming crowd of parents, watching caleb walk towards your direction as he was deeply immersed in his conversation. however, from the corner of your eyes you could make out the familiar face of the one person you wished to not see.
it was the girl in his program, ___. you smirked to yourself, halting your steps as you let her approach him first. you watch caleb freeze, body tensing as an awkward smile replaced his previous expression.
poor baby.
saving him from the misery, you tightly grip onto the pretty bouquet of flowers in your arms, running towards him. the click-clack sounds of your heels echoed, and yeah, your toes did hurt.
but it didn't matter.
"caleb!!" you chirped with a bright smile, catching his attention as caleb's lips automatically curled into a grin.
he opened his arms as you jumped into his embrace, wrapping your arms around his neck as your legs locked around his waist. you giggled, pressing kisses all over his face; staining his flawless skin with red kiss marks.
"congrats, caleb. oh, you look soooo handsome in your uniform." you cooed, smooching his lips shamelessly as you smiled against his lips.
"yeah? you got a thing for guys in uniform now, pips?" caleb teased, making you smirk.
"only if it's you... but i think i'd prefer if your uniform was off." you playfully bite his bottom lip, making him chuckle.
"naughty girl." he whispered, making you giggle.
suddenly, you heard someone clear their throat. you turned your head and looked at ___ shift from one foot to the other, face tainted with embarrassment.
"uh, i think i'll go, my parents are probably looking for me. congrats again, caleb." she forced a tight smile, waving at you two before turning around to leave. your eyes fell on the small letter in her hands, now gripping it tight to crumple it as she walked away.
"confessing on graduation day? how lame. well, not like she had a chance anyways." you huffed, shrugging with indifference.
"you're real mean, pips. i like this side of you." caleb grinned, pressing a kiss on your forehead.
"now can we go home? i still have to give your gift!" you pouted impatiently.
"oh really? or is that an excuse to trap me and strip me out of my uniform?" he poked at you with a sly expression, making you smirk. you gasp playfully.
"how did you know?" you winked, before the the both of you broke into a fit of laugh.
"okay, okay. let's go home, my sweet girl." with that being said, caleb walked out of the stadium with you still in his arms and his face full of your kiss marks.
and he wouldn't have had it any other way.
---
a/n: if you made it to the end, here's a fat smooch for you :3 hope you guys enjoyed this caleb piece, it took me a few weeks to work on it lol. idk why but it's something about this man that just makes something clench iykyk. sigh, wtf did infold lace into him when making him. anyways, let me know if you guys prefer longer smutfics or if you like them short! if you couldn't tell, i get carried away very easily lolol.
#caleb smut#caleb x reader#love and deepspace caleb#lads caleb#lnds caleb#lnds#lnds smut#lads smut#love and deepspace#lads x reader#lnds x reader#love and deepspace x reader#lads imagine#caleb imagine#lnds imagines#lads caleb smut#caleb#lnds caleb smut#caleb lads#xia yizhou#xia yizhou smut#xia yizhou x reader#caleb fluff#caleb x you#caleb imagines#caleb fic#otome game#caleb x mc#caleb lnds#caleb love and deepspace
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Things I've learned from getting covid for the first time in 2023
I wear an N95 in public spaces and I've managed to dodge it for a long time, but I finally got covid for the first time (to my knowledge) in mid-late November 2023. It was a weird experience especially because I feel like it used to be something everyone was talking about and sharing info on, so getting it for the first time now (when people generally seem averse to talking about covid) I found I needed to seek out a lot of info because I wasn't sure what to do. I put so much effort into prevention, I knew less about what to do when you have it. I'm experiencing a rebound right now so I'm currently isolating. So, I'm making a post in the hopes that if you get covid (it's pretty goddamn hard to avoid right now) this info will be helpful for you. It's a couple things I already knew and several things I learned. One part of it is based on my experience in Minnesota but some other states may have similar programs.
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The World Health Organization states you should isolate for 10 days from first having symptoms plus 3 days after the end of symptoms.
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At the time of my writing this post, in Minnesota, we have a test to treat program where you can call, report the result of your rapid test (no photo necessary) and be prescribed paxlovid over the phone to pick up from your pharmacy or have delivered to you. It is free and you do not need to have insurance. I found it by googling "Minnesota Test to Treat Covid"
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Paxlovid decreases the risk of hospitalization and death, but it's also been shown to decrease the risk of Long Covid. Long Covid can occur even from mild or asymptomatic infections.
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Covid rebound commonly occurs 2-8 days after apparent recovery. While many people associate Paxlovid with covid rebound, researchers say there is no strong evidence that Paxlovid causes covid rebound, and rebounds occur in infections that were not treated with Paxlovid as well. I knew rebounds could happen but did not know it could take 8 days. I had mine on day 7 and was completely surprised by it.
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If you start experiencing new symptoms or test positive again, the CDC states that you should start your isolation period again at day zero. Covid rebound is still contagious. Personally I'd suggest wearing a high quality respirator around folks for an additional 8-9 days after you start to test negative in case of a rebound.
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Positive results on a rapid test can be very faint, but even a very faint line is positive result. Make sure to look at your rapid test result under strong lighting. Also, false negatives are not uncommon. If you have symptoms but test negative taking multiple tests and trying different brands if you have them are not bad ideas. My ihealth tests picked up my covid, my binax now tests did not.
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EDIT: I'd highly suggest spending time with friends online if you can, I previously had a link to the NAMI warmline directory in this post but I've since been informed that NAMI is very much funded by pharmaceutical companies and lobbies for policies that take autonomy away from disabled folks, so I've taken that off of here! Sorry, I had no idea, the People's CDC listed them as a resource so I just assumed they were legit! Feel free to reply/reblog this with other warmlines/support resources if you know of them! And please reblog this version!
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I know that there is so much we can't control as individuals right now, and that's frightening. All we can do is try our best to reduce harm and to care for each other. I hope this info will be able to help folks.
#covid#covid 19#harm reduction#apparently only 16% of Americans even got their booster#it's wild out there#which makes sense because our public health messaging has been super unhelpful and intentionally shifted the burden#of infection control onto individuals to avoid us holding them accountable because it's politically and economically inconvenient to them
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Next thing you'll say is he doesn't have a tail
ref to this pic
EDIT: Just to keep things clear I didn't really think about bringing it up but not everyone's gonna click to see the first picture and might be confused. Alastor was stated to know only a little bit of broken French, the reasoning due to being from New Orleans. Speaking standard French is very much not a thing in New Orleans, so he would logically only know French-Creole. This is very different from the standard French language and a large misconception that people from New Orleans speak regular French. So yes, he does speak some French, just not as well as people make him nor would it, in theory, be the regular French that everyone makes him speak [but I wouldn't put it past the writers to not do that research but maybe I have too little faith in them]. I'm not from New Orleans, I visited it once so it's not like I'm an expert. But I HAVE looked into it and just bothering with one Google search will tell you it's not common and you'll even have a special term called "Louisiana French" pop up. With that all said, these were statements made on years past streams and could've been changed in the official series. However, as of right now, the official statement is that he speaks only a little broken French that should technically be French-Creole if they're going by and that he's from New Orleans to know that language. And again, I don't have a lot of faith in writers to do the research into it being Louisiana French rather than regular French, but now I'm rambling lol This is just a bit of context for this comic so people who were curious can understand it a bit more. And it's totally possible I got something wrong, so feel free to point it out when I do. I just like to dig into the nooks and crannies of information for things :3 2nd EDIT: Just for any future reblogs, I did get somethings incorrect in the above (not surprising), so here's some of the corrections I got:
@mangotangerine: "A tiny nitpick - it would likely be Louisiana Creole, which is one of the French-based Creole languages (Haitian Creole is prob the most well known as it has about 10-12 million speakers vs Louisiana Creole which has around 10,000 due to multiple factors but especially legislation in early 1920s outlawing it). Louisiana French is an umbrella term for the various French dialects/etc in the region (e.g., the dialect Cajun French)." (We actually had a whole conversation in the comments of this post and highly suggest looking down there in case you're interested in learning more!)
@alyssumflowers: "I am from New Orleans and a little bit of a language nerd. You're confusing some things here. Cajun French is a dialect of French. My great grandmother spoke it fluently, my grandfather in pieces.
Louisiana Creole is another language entirely. The word "creole" means mixed and a creole language is basically a mixture of two or more languages. Sort of, it's a linguistics thing. Anyways. Louisiana Creole has next to no speakers left and I've had a hard time trying to find somewhere or someone to learn it from because I really want to." (Always great to hear from someone who has more insider knowledge on the subject! So I wanted to give this it's share due as well, hope you can fine somewhere to learn it! /ᐠ > ˕ <マ ₊˚⊹♡ )
Thank you for the comments! My previous statement still stands about Al probably not speaking normal French, but I wanted these corrections still known and pointed out :3
#Celtrist#cel doodles#fanart#hazbin hotel#hellaverse#hazbin hotel fanart#hellaverse fanart#artists on tumblr#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin alastor#alastor the radio demon#hazbin hotel charlie#hazbin charlie#charlie morningstar#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin vox#vox the tv demon#radiostatic#radiosilence#onewaybroadcast
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a brief recap of what has been going on with the sonic movieverse in the past several months:
paramount has come out in public support of israel
keanu reeves, a man who has publicly rubbed elbows with none other than benjamin netanyahu, reportedly gets cast as shadow for the upcoming third movie
james marsden, the guy who plays tom, got exposed as having written a letter of support for a convicted pedophile
there's fucking??? zionist propaganda in the knuckles series???
kind of connected to the last point but adam pally, the guy who plays wade, is evidently pro-israel too
this is a complete and utter joke.
EDIT AS OF 4/30/24: if people see this version of the post, i'd really appreciate it if you reblog it instead of the other versions, as it's the most updated one with all the information that i want included. thank you :]
you know, it's been a few days since i've made this post, and some of you (not most) are staying determined in defending/justifying/giving the benefit of the doubt to keanu for that photo with netanyahu, whether it's because "it was a decade ago," "him being civil to someone he ran into at a party one time doesn't mean anything," "he's probably just silent because his pr managers won't allow him to speak up," etc. i've made my thoughts on the matter quite clear by directly responding to these people, but at this point, i'm tired of both seeing them in my notes and repeating myself, so take this as my final word on the issue.
i can't help it if you don't think the photo with netanyahu is damning, and i'm done engaging with everyone going out of their way to tell me that. i obviously disagree, especially after finding out that 1. the host of the party, arnon milchan, is a former israeli spy who has a history of developing israel's nuclear program and promoting apartheid in south africa (information that had broken out a few months prior to the party and thus would've been fresh news around the time keanu chose to attend) and 2. keanu has been caught hanging around at least two other weirdos, but if you don't find any of that to be cause for reasonable concern, then there really is nothing else i can say afaik.
with all that said, i'm beginning to realize how strange it is that these people's first instinct when seeing this post is to start debating about keanu's political stances without ever acknowledging any of the other bullet points. you guys realize that this isn't just about him, right? i know tumblr reading comprehension is known for being piss-poor, but like… you realize that i was trying to make a point of how there are MULTIPLE terrible things that have broken out about the people and company involved in the sonic movies, right? and yet, a lot of the people leaping to speak on keanu's behalf in my notes are completely ignoring the parts where i bring up paramount, pally, etc. all in favor of zeroing in on the singular point about keanu and making bad faith assumptions about me for holding him accountable. really makes one wonder where your priorities lie if, in a post that talks about so many other things, me accusing an a-list celebrity with, according to google, a net worth of almost $400 million is where you draw the line and apparently the only thing worth your acknowledgment.
ultimately, what i'm trying to say is that the intention of this post was just to gather up everything that i had been hearing for the past several months and put it all together in one place. there were a bunch of people who didn't know about at least one of the bullet points before seeing this post, and i'm glad that i could help inform them, that was what i was hoping to do! but as for the keanu thing, i've said pretty much all i can say for now, and i don't want to derail the original post even more than i may have already. unless something new comes up, i'm done talking about him.
#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#sonic movie#.sbs3#yeah no i WILL be annoying about this#because what the fuck
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soo helloo and i think it's time for me to explain the deal with my characters and this whole "you're not supposed to be here" thing. EDIT: just fixed some stuff. thank you folks for your support, i really appreciate you all <3
i made these characters way back in june and by today they have a lot of lore around them in my head. i even have a dream to make a game with them but it's just a dream for now so i'm gonna try to explain the main things about this story. Obviously this is a long post, although I tried to keep this stuff short. and excuse me for my writing and any mistakes, I don't usually write this much text.
It starts with the world. Alternate 15th century, humanity is almost gone and what's left of it shares quite a big city with demons and angels. However, demons and angels are usually being treated like servants - eventually one gets tired of it all, so everyone knows an uprising is just around the corner. Let's just ignore that for now.
The City has a catch of it's own - it's alive. The walls have eyes and ears and the City knows every resident by heart and soul, both figuratively and literally. Usually City acts through the King, it chooses protectors for itself, ones who have strong minds to comprehend it - they will be called the royal knights, each of them have a company of a /more wiser than the rest of them/ demon and angel to help with their tasks. Only the King and ten royal knights know that the City is alive and very talkative but they don't understand fully what it's trying to tell them. Most of them choose to ignore the voices in their head because hey, that's what you do usually in this situation, otherwise they drive you nuts.
City is also extremely emotional and appearance depends on its condition. Usually it's a sunny day out and the city looks welcoming, but you don't want to be there when the City is scared: it might eat you alive by accident. Now that the environment is aside, time for the main three characters.
Imri is a young lad who will soon be a royal knight. He actually wanted to be a painter when he grows up but well, you cannot disobey the king's orders. Quite emotionless and a man of a few words, he tries to stay on a neutral ground between good and bad - a perfect candidate for manipulation to all three sides, demons, angels and the City.
look at him
Royal knights get to know their angel and demon companions at least a week before they get knighted to avoid any misunderstandings. Imri doesn't mind his friends at all, although one of them caused quite a fuss.
Angel /they name themselves Lyra/ is an overly positive, naive and blindly kind entity. A bit childish and very fond of justice, they try to act as a voice of conscience, not understanding that sometimes this can make everything even worse than it was. There is a feeling that they're trickier than it seems but you can never quite tell.
the latin text all over them is just a part of their design
The demon though... That's not even a demon, that's the Devil himself. Yes, everyone knows who this is, everyone avoids him and he's not supposed to be here at all. Despite being THE Devil, he didn't try to do anything horrific yet and, when he's not joking around, he tries to be the voice of reason, the voice that no one listens to. He seems to know a lot more about this whole world than anyone else but he talks about it only when he wants to.
no one likes him at all, expect maybe Imri who just tolerates his presence like he always does
That's the main three. There is a few secondary characters, Imri's father being one of them.
sir Jastrab /or just Dell/ is one of the royal knights, he's a bit naive, loyal, and a soul so kind that his demon hung himself. Oh well. He lost one hand in what he calls "a work accident" which is partly true but he never goes into details.
He never wanted for his son to be a part of the knights because he knows by experience that it's not an easy job and not every father wants for their child to go insane from the voices in their head.
few people said that the angel accompanying him looks like d20 and so be it
The others are Sun and Moon - local deities, despite being on the sky every day and night, usually they don't really care about what's going on down below. You can still talk to them but don't expect much action. Regardless of all this, they are still loved by almost all living things. They can rarely meet each other but humans always depict them together no matter what. Although maybe humans are right...
creators of the Stars - some part of a human soul that i can't talk about :)
Angels and demons come in all forms and sizes but those are the main population - lesser demons resemble the Devil in some ways and lesser angels look like clovers. Rivals usually but when the revolution happens, they learn to tolerate and work with each other. Humanity doesn't really have a chance.
they hate everyone equally And there is another being, that Imri meets a few times through the story - it's Death. Death is just having fun in this end of the world and there is a lot of work to be done.
this is an old and rough design so maybe it'll change The whole story begins at that day when Imri is supposed to be knighted. Everything seemed fine until Imri gets to hear the City for the first time and realizes that he hears and sees a lot more than everyone else. Completely overwhelmed he blacks out - even the toughest of minds often can't take it - and wakes up later only to find out that the King got killed somehow, angels and demons saw this as the starting point for a revolution and the City starts to panic.
Now Imri, guided by his companions and the voice of scared City that's crumbling and slowly drives him insane, shall travel to the center of it to find out what really happened, getting through demons and angels who are busy destroying the rest of humanity. Fun.
There is a lot more to this whole thing but I cannot tell the entire plot because spoilers, in case if i actually will make something out of this story. Think of it as a game lore. I'm not sure about making sth yet because i operate only on hopes and dreams and i barely have any strength lately but who knows... But now you have at least some context! And yeah, thank you if you actually read all of this, you're a hero.
Now i need to get back to drawing. Thank you all for your support. <3
#art#oc#yourenotsupposedtobehere#ynstbh#i keep repeating to myself that i'm cringe but i'm free - it's so hard to share a story from your head without feeling cringe lol#but i'm also kinda proud that i made it this far and haven't burned out yet#before i thought that i couldn't make anything original with this empty head of mine#i'm gonna keep this as a pinned post for a while
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