#I have a goal to get 100 health but I'm also way too addicted to icecream so we're having some issues getting there

[windfighter]

I tend to have a hard time getting stuff done so ONCE AGAIN I've tried to gamify my to do-list. Sadly none of the apps I've tried have worked for me so I've had to go a more manual route and just... write stuff myself.

Currently playing as Kouji because OF COURSE I AM! Just reached level 2! Go me!

I would love to have treasures and battles in this as well but eargh I think that'd be too much for my brain (at least atm), so this is fine. Even if it's a little boring to just collect stats for the sake of it.

(for every task you complete you get 1 stat point that you can put in whichever stat you want, but I try to keep it... somewhat logical to what the task was)

(the amount of xp you need to level is calculated with "current level*100" so it's easy to remember x3 In case anyone else wanna join in and see who can reach level 100 first!)

I write the task-list every day before I go to bed and try to stick between 3-5 tasks, mostly because otherwise it'll be like 2 weeks until we're preparing to die again ^^' But there's no limit to how many tasks there can be! If you want to add 100 tasks a day to quickly level go right ahead xP

[xpc-web-dev]

No, you are not alone. I also start things, give up, procrastinate, live the future and not the present and complain about my life not moving forward while I spend time looking at other people's lives.

Hello everyone, how are you?

I hope well.

I was thinking of giving up this tumblr and just as I started everything from scratch to study programming (github, linkedin, notion and I even created another google account) start a new tumblr.

I even commented briefly a few weeks ago with @lostlibrariangirl who supported me to just continue on this one and see my evolution. And today I was thinking that this could be cool not only for me, but for other dropouts, who are frustrated that they think they'll never get to where they want to go and et cetera.

If you've been following me since the beginning of this year, you've already seen that I never completed any course and I assume that I gave up on the most difficult parts, besides the constant anxiety of getting a job in technology and thinking that I would never get it and that made me procrastinate, suffer and not live the present studying.

I gave up on one of the scholarships I got and now I'm catching up on the delay (it's until the 7/30th)

Nowadays my mental health has improved a lot, thanks to my elders.

And also thanks to them I understood that I was going around in circles, being lazy, not trying 100%, being stubborn in a stupid way (for me stubbornness is a quality, if you know how to use it) and spending too much time on other people's lives and not mine.

Also, today it's easier for me not to feel so much anxiety because I no longer have the goal of getting a job registered as a dev this year, so I'm starting to learn from scratch EVERYTHING AGAIN only this time better and really trying hard.

In my case I wasn't doing my best, trying hard and that's why I fell so many times. I don't like the word failure/failure, as I learned from an older, mistake it's study/learning and not failure.

Now in May, for example, I started studying Linux from scratch (my system that I'm confused to understand), git and github. I was all this time without really understanding these 3 tools, just doing it without understanding / in a lazy way and that didn't give me confidence.

And I don't think we need to memorize it, but it's nice to understand and practice.

This print from above is me studying after writing and repeating to myself that I WILL ONLY START a new cycle after ending the old one.

And I hope to share this journey here.

I have a lot to study, whether in back-end or front-end, but I'm not in a hurry and that's why I'm progressing.

So if you're reading this far and you're going through the same thing I was, I wanted to give you some unsolicited advice.

Spend your energy, do physical exercises. Because anxiety can only be resolved with a psychiatrist, but exercises help.

Understand why you procastine, what is making you feel frustrated or afraid? Did you find out? How can you solve this?

If you don't finish something to start another and it HURTS you (if it doesn't hurt, that's fine), try to understand why you give up? Where is making you insecure / afraid? And after you understand this, strive to finish everything you start (I know it's hard, but we need this)

Get off social media for a bit. For me tumblr is what I spend the least time on, but it's very easy to lose hours on instagram and tiktok.

And guess what, that time we spend doesn't come back and unless you work with these networks that ALSO won't give you any money / jobs.

So, if possible, start to regulate your period in these environments. At first it's difficult because your brain is addicted, but after a while it works out and your version of the future (if you invest that time studying and working) will thank you.

I wish you all to be well and not sabotage yourself to achieve your goals.

[guvato]

My League Experience

Welp, first non tamagotchi related post here, and i wanted to be about something i am quite passionate about, which is League of Legends, yeah the game gets as much hate as any other multiplayer game (or any Ubisoft game, which is deserved btw) and most people see league players as no life scrubs with anger issues, and sure, i kinda agree with that in parts, but i feel the game has a really bad reputation with a lot of people, and as someone who has long stopped caring about playing to win and basically just play for myself 99% of the time, i went into a month long grind into the deepest depths of gold and platinum (and also late night arams) to see if i could fight any redeeming quality to the game now that i just play it to farm, take turrets and rekindle eternals.

For starters, i used to be terminally addicted to the game, and that was a time in my life where i cared waaaay too much about video games and even the thought of losing a match could ruin my day, but after many years and the help of the most amazing people i've ever met, i got over it and began playing games for what they are meant for, which is to be fun. But league is honestly another breed of game, even with my new found monk level calmness and resilience to feeling even slightly bothered by pretty much anything, this game often finds a way to piss me off, be it playing against a champion that if landing a skill with a pretty generous hitbox will slurp away my health like i do coca cola, much like illaoi, to teammates that might be playing while they're sleepwalking, to people who are outright just mean to others for dumb reasons. Like, people will play a game with someone, that someone will play bad and if they get them on their team again next game, they'll start talking trash about them to both them and the enemy team, like, get over it dude, lol. And these are the same people that act like they don't care about the game, they troll matches, play bad, but they'll be the first person to shit on others for bad performances.

Then we have the higher elo players playing normals who expect everyone to be at the same skill level as their coked up soloQ counterparts, and are just annoying and will flame everyone that doesn't play like a god. Even for someone like me, who consider myself a pretty good player, i don't expect much from other people, i will laugh and joke to myself and my friends on call when people make mistakes, yeah, but i never step on others to make myself feel superior or even say anything in chat period, if someone screws up i just keep it to myself, just like if i screw up i will never be above just admitting i played bad. I don't feel like i am a person to look at and see as an example of what you should entirely be as a player, but i would LOVE if people just tried to have fun, man. So many people play this game for hours upon hours and will give the game their all, just to then shit all over people for making mistakes in a dumb video game.

After playing for a month straight and doing a lot of stuff, i feel like i am where i wanted to be, i got master on a challenge that i've been working towards, and even if it's not masters elo or something incredible and impressive, i am proud of myself for keeping myself cool, calm and collected throughout 100% of the matches i played, i never once raged, got tilted or left matches letting the thoughts of what i could've done differently consume my head. I also haven't got headaches or sweaty while playing, even though every match i'm still trying my best to win and making the best decisions i think are correct to achieve that goal, i am also looking after my own goals, which are primarily farming, taking turrets and boosting up my eternals, which are things i love doing in the game.

I will say though, that even though i see how much i improved both as a player and as a person, i did have some games that got a little under my skin and where i felt quite annoyed at some things, most based on people with shitty attitudes towards others, cuz even though i am not too soft towards anything, i don't like seeing people being mean to others in video games, it's something that never gets anywhere and just sends people to a low point where they will reciprocate hate with more hate, or they will start indulging into self hatred which honestly, i relate too much to that to want other people to go through it.

That being said, i will be taking a break from the game starting today, i will try to focus on taking care of my Tamagotchi Devices and playing some light and fun single player games, maybe even minecraft, i don't know, i honestly just need to relax now that i see the game taking some effect on my mental both cuz i know that if something is starting to piss me off, it can quickly spiral into me going back to my toxic and rage filled self, and also cuz honestly the game is really tempting me into spending money, which is the last thing i want to do, so i will give it the Diablo Immortal treatment and just stop playing for a while until i can come back to play Clash with the boys and get grandmasters on my Lethal Efficiency challenge, when will that happen? Only time will tell. (i'll still probably play next month's Clash, but doubt i'll be ready to come back to play the game by then.)

[one-abuse-survivor]

hi there! I have found out about this blog for 3-4 days and ever since i couldn’t stop thinking about it because it may be the best place for me to vent, sorry if i don’t specify the tw ahead, i don’t properly know how to classify which type of abusive parents i have so, it’s indeed a long ride and, before it gets too long, here i go:

lately, I have been feeling like I am nothing but a broken child although I'm almost 20 years old(and I feel like a 90 years old granny sometimes) because of how deprived I was to live and experience my teenage years to the fullest due to an overwhelmingly strict household that constantly prohibited me from doing things or told me all my life I wasn’t capable, won’t make it, I'm too weak and now that I'm an adult, I feel like I'm like a decade behind my peers since all I have is crappy mental health and addiction to social media. besides that, I feel extremely insecure about quite every single adult responsibility since I hardly can accomplish anything, and I'm permanently frightened that my parents were right, I am nothing but useless. seriously, I wish I was fearless and just went there and get things done but I'm stuffed with fear and self-consciousness since I don’t even remember if my family in general ever had a glimpse of faith in me. at 14, I thought it all would pass and I would figure out my life far away from them while enjoying my youth but now I still feel the same if not worse because the time is passing too fast and I threw my “golden years” away. no friends, no job, no nothing. anyways, thank you very much for making a room for people to vent and it saddens me to say that because I won’t wish it on my worst enemy but I hope someone can resonate with it so I can feel less lonely.

stay safe, thank you.

Hi! I'm glad you found this blog. Don't worry about being unable to specify the tw, it's completely optional ❤️

If you'd like a label for your abuse, I would say your parents constantly calling you useless and weak and telling you you'd never make it in life, as well as being controlling to the point you couldn't experience your teens like your peers, is emotional abuse. And I'm really sorry you had to go through this, nonnie :(

I can relate to this in a way, although I feel like I've luckily grown out of the feeling that I've "thrown away" my best years and now I'm finally able to feel like the best is yet to come. If it helps you at all to hear this, I'm 23, I moved in with my (non-abusive) dad this year, and I've never had a job either. It's pretty normal where I live if you're a uni student, but I still feel terrible about it from time to time.

Western societies tend to put youth on a pedestal, and this can be very damaging to everyone, but especially to people who spend their teens and/or early twenties struggling with undiagnosed disabilities, trauma, or mental illness, and also to marginalised youth. But even people who don't particularly struggle with any of these things often feel like they "threw away" their teenage years because they didn't look like "supposed to"—ie, they didn't look like they should according to mass media stories, where characters live their best adventures during those years, or find "true love" or success in those years, and then settle down in their early or mid-twenties and never have something exciting happen to them again.

I know at least one person my age who has expressed very similar feelings to yours. I've heard them say things like: "my life is over. I'm almost in my mid-twenties and all I've done is lose all my childhood friends and be mentally ill. There's nothing in life for me anymore." And I'm sure many, many people sadly feel this way too. So you're definitely not alone, sadly 😔

What I usually tell myself is that all those stories about characters having their golden years from ages 15-20 are just that—stories. Fiction. In real life, being a teenager sucks. High school is usually nothing more than a fever dream full of drama and stress that you forget a few months after you graduate and would never go back to. Your 20s are... weird, because it's the first time no one is telling you what path to follow and you suddenly find yourself racing against your peers to reach this imaginary goal called "success" that doesn't really mean anything. And even though I haven't reached those ages yet, I know for a fact life keeps bringing things your way in your 30s, 40s... All the way up to your 90s and 100s.

You can make incredibly close friends at 50 who are by your side for the rest of your life. You can fall in love at 30, at 60, at 80, or never in your life. You can find a new career path or hobby at 45 and change your life completely. Some queer people come out of the closet at 60. Some people in their 30s and 40s don't have a stable job and just work wherever they can. You can move to a new country and adopt your first pet at 65, and you can get married for the first time at 70. And, if you ask people of any of these ages what the best years of their lives were, I'm sure the vast majority of them would NOT say the 15-20 age range was their favourite. Because at 15-20 you barely have control over your life. You're still dependent on your parents for most of that time, almost always still studying, and still trying to figure out who you are and what you want in life.

I know it's really hard to believe, but it's normal to not keep your school friends in your 20s. It's normal to not have a job yet. I've met people in uni who had never kissed anyone and were fine with it. I'm 23 and I've never tried alcohol, and I'm fine with that, because it's just not something I'm interested in. My dad met his current wife when he was in his late 50s and this is the happiest relationship he's had in his life. Life doesn't end at 25. New things, good and bad and unexpected and life-changing, will come your way for as long as you're here, because we never stop growing, changing, learning, discovering ourselves, meeting people, and finding new things that bring us joy. We never stop having first times in life. Most importantly, there is no point in life where you can safely say "okay, the rest of my life is going to look exactly like it does right now."

There is no happily ever after in real life. There is no “if you haven't succeeded in life at this age, you never will”. You've got time. You've got your whole adult life ahead of you. And I may not know you, nonnie, but I have faith in you.

I hope some of this helps to hear, even if I'm sure you already know a lot of this rationally. And I really hope you can feel a little bit less lonely. I'm sending the biggest virtual hug your way ❤️

[echoes-of-realities]

hello! this is completely random but i saw in your bio that you have a BA in anthropology. I'm currently trying to figure out what I want to do with my life and anthropology sounds really nice. Are the jobs opportunities good when you graduate? I'm also from Canada! Thank you!

Hey! I’m going to put all this under a cut cause it’s, uh, a Lot of information lmao.

So I don’t know how much you know about anthropology, but the cool thing about it if you’re going into research, is that you can do basically anything with it tbh! At its most simple, anthro is the study of humanity, so that includes literally anything to do with humans. What to study residential school experiences of Indigenous people in Canada? There’s a plethora of research opportunities about First Nations people, usually under the sub-discipline of Indigenous anthropology. What to study the effects of the lack of media representation for LGBTQ+ people? Queer Theory is a huge aspect of modern anthropology. What to study human evolution in the Horn of Africa? Paleoanthropology is a huge field. What to know Far Too Much about projectile points across the prairies? Archaeology is for you. Want to study RV-ing retirees? There’s literally a book on it.

Anthropology is broken down into four sub-disciplines: 

Linguistic Anthropology: Studies relationship between culture and language; everything from language revitalization to how language usage can further oppression. This field is closely tied to linguistics, but is actually very different to it. Linguistics generally studies the structure of language, while linguistic anthropology studies how language can produce/maintain culture, and vice versa.

Biological Anthropology: Sometimes called physical anthropology, it’s the study of humans and non-human primates in terms of biology, evolution, and demography; paleoanthropology and primatology both fit here, as does forensic anthropology. I.e., the TV show Bones, except actually accurate lmao. Don’t get me wrong, I love Bones and it’s actually what got me interested in anthropology in the first place, but literally every time I watch an ep now I’m like “You can’t estimate sex from that. That’s wrong you can’t estimate race. Age estimates range from 24-82 not within two years. You can’t do that!” ff

Archaeology: There’s a Whole Bunch of specializations in arch like bioarchaeology or lithic analysis or pottery analysis; archaeology is kind of….. lagging behind the other subdisciplines in terms of feminist theory and queer theory and treating PoC respectfully. (Especially Indigenous people, NAGPRA exists because archaeologists continually dug up Indigenous graves and then refused to give the Native Americans and First Nations the remains back so……) But! There are a lot of younger archaeologists reforming the discipline and making feminist and queer theory more common in the field. Black Feminist Archaeology by Whitney Battle-Baptiste is the first archaeologists that comes to mind off the top of my head in terms of including more PoC voices in archaeology, but there’s Many others doing good work!

This is totally a self-plug lmao but if you want to know more about homophobia and sexual harassment in archaeology, which is unfortunately rather commonplace, here’s a link to my final project for my Gender in Archaeology class about the topic, it’s a narrative video game and I’ve Very Proud of it.

Cultural Anthropology: Just like it sounds, this is the study of cultures. “Culture” is a Really Contentious term in anthropology and there’s no way I’m getting into the decades of debates here lmao. But essentially, cultural anthropologists study all aspects of different cultures, from the Big Men of the Indigenous peoples in Papua New Guinea to gender relations in small fishing villages in Portugal to homeless drug addicts in urban centres. Often issues of cultural appropriation, racism, homophobia, gender vs. sex (spoiler: they’re Very Different and completely depend on the culture), and oppression fall into this subdiscipline, but they can be explored in every field of anthro.

If you Really want a taste of Cultural Anthropology, watch Ongka’s Big Moka, which I’ve watched no less than seven times because basically Every Intro level anthro class plus second year classes without prereq’s show it. My best friend who’s also in anthro and I joke that we know more about Ongka than we do certain family members, which is 100% true.

So, as you can see based on the subdisciplines, there’s a Whole Realm of possibilities when it comes to jobs. The most common is basically going into research (which includes ethnographies), becoming a professor at a post-secondary institution, or going into applied anthropology.

Research: Research can be done on basically any topic, but anthropological research is rather unique (some sociology research uses the same practices, but not as commonly as anthro). Of course, there’s the research that archaeology and paleanthropology do that falls closer to a “hard science”, but cultural anthropological research is different. Ethnographic research is holistic and includes living in the community for an extended period of time (usually over a year), learning the language, and participant observation (you must participate in the community you’re studying; this is where researchers in “hard sciences” usually scoff and accuse anthropology as being subjective and not objective, which is true, but what most scientists don’t like to acknowledge is that all science is subjective because it is done by imperfect humans).

Professor: In order to become a prof, you need to have a master’s degree (people with masters can teach undergrad, people with a doctorate can teach graduate courses), so you do need an area of research to do your thesis on. Most anthropologists eventually become college/university profs once their research days end, or they teach during the school year and do their research during the summer. One of my fave profs does bioarchaeology in Tanzania every couple summers with some grad students so!

Applied Anthropology: Applied anthropology is probably the biggest area of careers tbh. Technically applied anthropology is just anthro applied to practical problems, so it can technically be anything. Most often, it includes medical anthropology (which is one of my areas of research studies how cultural ideologies of health and wellbeing go into healing, Lots of interesting commentaries on Western medicine and traditional medicine and how one culture’s idea of “healthy” is often Very Different to another’s), work with NGOs or activism organizations, archaeologists, museum or archive work, ecological or environmental anthropology, political anthropology, economic anthropology, forensic anthropology, and so many more tbh.

So yeah, that’s a rundown of anthropology and the ways your career can go. Honestly—and this isn’t me being all “my field is the Best Field” or anything lol—I think everyone would benefit from taking a couple anthro courses. I took The Anthropology of Sex, Gender, and Age in culture my first semester of my first year, and it’s still one of my favourite courses ever, and honestly I think that everyone going to college should take that course. Not only do you learn about how sex, gender, and age all culturally determined (no, sex is not biological because “biological” is culturally determined; most Papua New Guinean tribes have no concept of chromosomes, so “sex” isn’t based on chromosomes for them), but you’re also taught empathy in that class. Same with the Anthropology of Race and Racism class I took. Being uncomfortable is the most important part of unlearning toxic ideologies, and those two classes really embrace the uncomfortable. The biggest thing you need to be an anthropologist is empathy imo. The main goal of anthropology is to gain an emic perspective (i.e., an “insider’s” perspective) when doing research. I was always Really interested in social studies as a kid because I loved learning about different cultures so anthro is basically the “adult” version of that lmao and anthropology is essentially an extension of that.

I will say, that it’s pretty hard to do anything in anthro without at least a masters degree, so you have to be prepared to do A Lot of schooling. As for job prospects after grad, it depends entirely on where you live and what field you wanna go into. There’s far more job opportunities for anthropology in Toronto than in a small town with 7,000 people. And the fields really matter too. For example, if you want to practice forensic anthropology in Canada, you essentially have to wait for the current forensic anthropologist to die or retire, whichever comes first, before you even have a chance at a job. But as for medical anthropology or anthropology that involves working with or researching for Indigenous peoples, especially in Canada, there’s basically always job opportunities because they are in high demand of research or of people who can act as consultants.

Anyways, this is Long but I hope it helps, and btw, this basically only scratches the Surface of anthropology. I didn’t go into anthro’s long, uh, let’s say shitty history, for simplicity’s sake, of racism and colonialism here, not because I’m ignore it but just because it’s Long and I don’t have the time right now lol. But most modern good anthropologists don’t shy away from criticizing anthro and being vocal about it’s past and current issues, as well as advocating for how to fix them. Anyways. If you have any other questions feel free to send me another ask, or just PM me too! I’m happy to give information about anthropology!!