#I have a deep love for the country I grew up in as a child but I didn't really grow up in that culture

[murtaghesq]

I love art pieces where the artist has a connection, or is exploring their connection to the countries their roots are in and are from

[seosracha]

⸻ SAINT MATTHEW'S ACADEMY

─"do you know about all the filth that goes on in here?"

SYNOPSIS ⸻ being a smart kid comes with a lot of advantages; one of them being a full scholarship to one of the best schools in the country. one of the best school's that's filled to the brim with disgustingly rich teenagers. Heeseung knows you're not like them, and he also knows that'll be easy to take advantage of.

PAIRING ⸻ toxic!heeseung x innocentfem!reader

GENRE ⸻ strangers to lovers, private school au, smut, fluff, angst (idek tbh)

TAGS ⸻ characters are all 18 or older, toxic relationships, misogyny, alcohol abuse, smoking, marijuana/cannabis mention, partying, underage drinking, foul language, cheating (not really though) power imbalance, abuse (punches are getting thrown..) , kinda love triangle?? , making out, oral sex (f. and m. receiving), virginity loss, p in v, pet names, unprotected sex, creampie, tell me if i missed something!

WORDCOUNT ⸻ 21k

everything here is FICTIONAL, it is not real. this was created for entertainment purposes only. MINORS DNI.

“No Eunseok, I don’t want to go anywhere!” you grit your teeth, backing away from your older brother. 

He sighed, and with his hand pulled your wrist towards the doorway. You were acting like a brat, and he had absolutely no interest in fighting with you right now. From your standpoint, you had every reason to be behaving this way. 

“There are thousands- no, millions of people your age who would die for an opportunity like this, and you're going to act like a child? Grow up, Y/n” he let out a steady breath as an attempt to calm himself down. 

In some way, you put yourself in this situation. Flawless scores on all your exams, juggling multiple extracurriculars and excelling at every single one of them, participating in every Model UN you could get your hands on, making a name for yourself- being somebody. It all led to you being noticed by prestigious schools, who practically begged to host you, even though deep down, you were a nobody. 

Your parents weren't snobby rich people, who thrived off of other people's ideas and failure. They weren't greedy either, working normal 9 to 5 jobs. 

When you were merely 12 years old they had left to go work at your uncle's company overseas, hoping that it’ll allow them to make enough money to pay for your brother’s med school tuition and potentially have the money to fund a future clinic of his. They promised to come back as soon as Eunseok finished school and started a stable job. But they never did. 

Eunseok, who was 7 years older than you, was always the favorite child. No matter how well you did or how bad he did, Eunseok was number one in your parents' hearts. There was never a family reunion where Eunseok’s medical career as a surgeon wasn't brought up- and when it did end up getting shoved into the conversation, it didn't stop until all the lights turned off. 

And of course, you felt bad for your brother. He had to balance taking care of you and being a surgeon for fucks sake, but that didn't mean you couldn't feel lonely most of the time. You had a free hand when it came to inviting friends over, but unfortunately their strict parents and every other circumstance never allowed them to stay longer than one night. Your only family,  your older brother who you looked up to was just never there, and you just sank deeper into your loneliness whenever he called and apologized for a sudden surgery that came up. 

But still, Eunseok, was just perfect, you had no choice but to try and keep up with him. 

So when the letter from Saint Matthew’s Academy came in the mail, offering you a spot in their school, with the tuition fully paid for by them, you didn't even think twice. 

And now you regret that, badly. 

St. Matthews Academy was a private school next to the town you grew up in. It was also an exceptionally expensive place, with tuition fees racking up to about $80.000 per year. Going there would be a privilege to most people your age, but the students there saw it as a regular school without anything special to offer them. Even if they weren't going to inherit their parents’ company's, they were truly set up for the rest of their lives anyways. 

You hadn't really done any research on the school before accepting their offer, only aware of their students academic achievements and high level of education. The more you found out, the more the idea of being a student terrified you. 

You would stick out like a sore thumb amidst the successful people who had a chairman position prescribed before birth. 

“It’ll be okay, do you think if I let the fear get to me, I’d be a SNU alumni now?” Eunseok asked, focused on the road as he drove you right into the gates of your own, personal hell. 

“We get it, you finished SNU and are a surgeon now, blah blah blah” you said, and he rolled his eyes playfully. 

“I’m just trying to help you. I doubt those kids are going to be that bad. They have a reputation to upkeep anyways, can’t be caught bullying” he tried to calm you down, but everytime he opened his mouth, he just made it worse. 

“Eunseok, you’re making it worse” you murmured, tucking at the skin of your thumb. He placed his hand on yours, preventing you from continuing with your bad habits “That’s exactly why I’m scared. These kids are disgustingly rich, and people like us-  well we're like ants compared to them. They have an image to polish, and I have none of that” you continued, and he frowned lightly, his heart breaking at your, his little sisters, words. 

“Do you seriously think you got to be in this position cause you’re a nobody? I don’t think regular and undeserving people have been given a full scholarship to a school like Saint Matthew’s. Nobody has been given a scholarship from them really” Eunseok said, making you feel slightly more confident “I can turn around, you can withdraw, but I think you’ll regret that” he said, with a light smile which you reciprocated. 

Maybe you should have told him to turn around back then, maybe you should've denied the offer or thrown it away the moment you saw the letter with that heinous stamp. 

_____ 

No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't stop thinking about what your first day was going to be like. Some dreams portrayed you as the future top 3 of the school, and some seemed to make you out to be the outcast loser who can’t seem to find anyone who’d befriend her. 

It was nearly impossible to get those images out of your head. You thought about lying about your background, falsifying stories about your parents who own giant multi-utility corporations that supply petrol and energy to half the country, but that was pointless. 

You could either be made fun of for lying or made fun of for being a ‘poor nobody’. None of them seemed right, but one didn't lead to being incredibly embarrassed for the rest of highschool. 

The building did not have any correlation with the one that you imagined, the one that you constantly dreamed about. It looked nothing like the modern, smart, couple story construction that clouded your mind beyond arrival, and because of their strict laws, pictures and videos of both the inside and outside were strictly prohibited. 

So all you had left was to make up your own assumptions, and the old fashioned, palace looking property was definitely not one of them. You assumed that the millions of dollars in tuition that flow into the headmaster's account every year could at least allow him to renovate the building. 

But it seemed as if the gray, dirty, moss covered outer walls had a special meaning you didn't quite understand. 

You definitely weren't a sucker for historical architecture, and this building looked more like a nightmare than a dream to you. 

At the front office, the lady had confiscated your phone, with a smile explaining why they do it, and asking you to pick it up after classes are over. She had a creepy aura surrounding her, and you begged for her small introduction to finish as soon as possible. 

“I’ll let Wonyoung, your class president, give you a tour around our school. She should be here in a moment, dear” she smiled eagerly at you, and you found it hard to reciprocate her seemingly innocent expression. 

You never expected Wonyoung to be an actual angel, her figure already shining brightly as she strides towards you. You wondered how it was possible for someone to make a school uniform look this good. Her hair was long and silky, and her bangs just looked fake with how fresh and bouncy they were. 

You smoothed down your uniform and fixed up your hair as she got closer to you and the eerie lady next to you. 

“You're the new student, right?” she waved at you, and shot you with a pretty smile. 

You had no idea how to behave, acknowledging that she probably came from a wealthy family that practically owns the country. 

But Wonyoung was a little different. Her parents didn't own any big corporations or participate in any other money making schemes. Both her mom and dad met on the set for a movie that later led them to become the highest paid actors in the industry. It was pretty comical to say she was different as she still was considered a product of nepotism in the modeling world that she was so active in. She hadn't even finished highschool, but had already walked for brands like Gucci, Prada, Louis Vuitton, Maison Margiela and more. Maybe it was her pretty face or just her parents' wild connections. 

“Mind if I give you a small tour? It can get complicated around here” she asked, her tone so delicate. 

If anything you should be thanking her for sparing you with a little bit of time, thanking her for even allowing someone like you to be in the presence of someone like her. 

You nodded your head not able to let a single word out, afraid to embarrass yourself. With a smile Wonyoung locked her arm with yours, and kept you close by her side as she showed you around the place. 

“This is the cafeteria, but I wouldn't recommend you going there, the food is awful” she said, and you laughed lightly at her expression. 

Was it awful cause it wasn't a three course meal with caviar, steak and truffles for dessert or was it actually not that good. You really did not fit in here and you haven't met anyone else.

“Well I see that guy is enjoying it” you commented, noticing a tall, skinny boy laughing with his friend as he consumed something you couldn't quite recognize. 

Wonyoung laughed, in the most elegant way possible, and her cheeks flushed a light shade of pink “That’s Park Sunghoon, my boyfriend. He will eat anything, seriously” she stated and you nodded with a chuckle. 

Park Sunghoon was son to Park Jiwon, the CEO of ParkJin Electronics. His mother had worked hard all her life to build up her own empire, resulting in him being raised mainly by nannies and his cousins. Still, he was spoiled and cocky, his family allegedly had royal roots, and even though he didn't know himself, he boasted about it every single occasion he got. He didn't seem to care much about studying, since he was the only child his mother ever had, he was next in line to inherit her electronic empire. Yet something in him felt the desire to prove to everyone that no matter what, he deserved to take over.  

He also surrounded himself with people of the same social status and net worth as him, so that’s probably why he treated Wonyoung so differently, even though she was his literal girlfriend. Wonyoung was rich, but she could never compare to the millions his mother earned yearly. 

Yet he was so good at pretending and gaslighting the girl into believing she's the bad person for lashing out on him after he called her ‘the type of person who polishes shoes for people like him’. He was just joking around, right? But the poor girl took it because the good moments overshadowed the absolute idiot Park Sunghoon was capable of being. 

“And next to him? Who’s that” you asked, politely pointing towards the blond boy next to him who’s jawline looked like it was shaped by Micheal Angelo himself. 

“That’s Jongseong, but we just call him Jay,” Wonyoung answered, looking at you with a pretty smile. Did everything she does have to be so annoyingly beautiful and perfect? 

Park Jay was born in Seattle, so he was the American heartthrob that flexed his posh English skills in order to pull girls he had no interest in having serious relationships with. His dad owned the biggest hospital in the country, and on top of that had plastic surgery salons opened in practically every city. His parents had divorced when his dad's businesses started to gain popularity and bring in more money. His father assumed that his wife no longer appealed to him, and she would just be like a parasite- living off of his success. And since Jay had been harshly raised by his rough father, he shared the same opinion about his mother. Not having a motherly figure present in his life, surrounding himself with his fathers girlfriends who were only 10 years older than him, he became a Andrew Tate worshiping incel who’s main focus was making money and convincing everyone to join his self-betterment program. 

“He’s nice, but I think his political and social views are a little far from the ones that girls like us have” she attempted to explain, and pretty quickly you understood he’s a misogynist. 

“I see, is your boyfriend the same?” you asked, trying to sound as polite as you can, since you didn't quite know where Wonyoung wouldl draw the line. 

“No, at least I’d hope he isn't” she chuckled lightly, and slowly tugged you towards another large hall in the school “He was raised by women, his dad passed away when he was around 3, so I guess he has at least some respect for us” she added, and you nodded in understanding. 

“This school is really freaking big, I don’t know if I’ll be able to find my way around here” you commented and she chuckled at your use of words. 

“You can say fucking, I really don’t mind” Wonyoung looked at you, and you breathed out a steady breath “I don’t want you to think of us as some posh, elegant and royal like teenagers who use a fork and knife every time they eat. I genuinely think most of us are pretty normal considering our backgrounds” she explained, and you had to stifle a laugh. 

Although Wonyoung seemed like an incredibly nice and sweet girl, she truly had no idea how privileged she was. Truly, her only worry was you not thinking she’s a snobby rich kid. And that applied to all of them, you just didn't see yourself empathizing with these people, seeing how you were raised in two completely different worlds. 

“It’s my first time talking to people like you, don't have much experience” you smiled and raised your hands in guilt. 

She laughed at your action, and asked “What do you mean, what do your parents do then?” 

You didn't want to answer that question, you didn't even want anyone to ask it in the first place. But you had to answer honestly. 

“Both of my parents live overseas, but they're no one special. My dad is a construction worker and my mom has a simple office job” you said, and she didn't seem to laugh or find your parents’ profession amusing in any way “I live with my brother, he’s a surgeon” you added, and she seemed to light up at the mention. 

“I want to be a surgeon too!” she beamed and you smiled as she ignored and didn't care about the fact that you weren't the future heiress of a major conglomerate “I need to speak to your brother one day, maybe he’ll give me some advice” she added and with a smile you assured her you’ll set up a meeting for the two of them one day. 

She pulled you through a dark, narrow, dimly lit hallway to a giant room with a high ceiling where most of the students were currently spending their time. 

“This is the common room” she said, as the two of you stood in the entryway. 

Laughter ringed in your ears as you attempted to examine every student present in the area. 

“Let me introduce you to Niki!” she beamed and pulled your wrist towards the unknown boy. 

Niki was the son of the owners of the biggest pharmaceutical company in the country. Even though he had no interest in taking over the business, his younger sister wasn't seen as competent enough to take over, so he was forced to be the next CEO. His parents and Jay’s father were close friends, planning on merging the two companies by arranging a marriage between Jay’s younger sister and Niki. His true passion was dance, he hated everything that had to do with medication, but he knew there was no chance he’d ever get to pursue his passion for a living. 

“Niki!” she called to the boy, and he turned around, swiftly taking off his headphones. 

“Not gonna go shop for makeup with you today, forget it” he claimed, not even noticing you standing right next to her. 

“Oh please, as if I’d want to go with you” she sneered and he chuckled under his breath. “I wanted to introduce you to Y/n, she’s new here!” she continued, and he took a judging look at you. 

Or at least it felt as if he was judging you, scanning you up and down as if you weren't wearing the same exact uniform as him. But quickly he shot you with a small smile, and stuck his hand out for you to shake. You applied and as nicely as you could, returned the expression. 

“You’ll regret coming here, Y/n” he warned with a laugh, and you chuckled, but deep down felt like maybe he wasn't joking. 

“Stop scaring her” Wonyoung said sternly, and he looked at her with a raised eyebrow “I like it here, don’t listen to him Y/nnie” 

“Maybe because you're a fucking nerd who’s a teachers pet?” he asked sarcastically, and Wonyoung just rolled her eyes playfully. 

You stood there listening to their bickering, already getting a weird feeling that you didn't really belong here, these people were not the usual kind you surround yourself with. 

“What brings you here?” he asked, which turned your attention back to the two people in front of you. 

“I got an invitation, full ride scholarship and all” you explained and his eyes widened. 

“You're a smart girl, aren't you?” he asked, and you chuckled lightly. 

“You could say that, I guess” you said, and he looked towards Wonyoung. 

“I guess you’ll finally have a smarty pants friend to talk to about the theory of relativity, or whatever you call it” he cooed, and she flipped him off. 

“Jake used to be my nerdy bestie, well until he started hanging out with Jay and attending his dumbass courses” she laughed looking towards you, and he did the same nodding his head. 

“Let’s be honest, ever since they created their little frat circle with Heeseung and Sunghoon, they suffered insane brain damage. But the courses were also bad enough” Niki inquired, and she laughed, agreeing with him. 

Jake’s parents were real estate giants, owning at least half of the properties in the city. He had been raised with the thought of taking over his parents’ business, so he was actually the only one in his friend circle that studied and strived to achieve something. His mother or father would never let him take over if he had nothing in his head. Jake actually wanted to become a real estate agent, because after seeing his parents succeed, he wanted to be just like them. 

“What exactly are these courses about?” you asked, and Niki quickly opened his phone to show you the website Jay and his computer geek friend Jungwon set up. 

You didn't even bother asking the boy how he managed to sneak a phone in, assuming the one lying in the basket at the front desk, was probably one of his many devices. 

“He tries to convince men that they need to unleash their inner sigma to fully embrace their manliness or something like that” he explained as you grabbed his phone to look through the website. 

It looked like a failed IT project they had to do in class, and honestly you didn't understand why anyone would trust him enough to receive life advice. 

“I can't believe that people actually listen to his advice” you commented, handing back Niki his phone. 

“That’s not even the worst of it, he genuinely thinks that if men were to become pregnant, they would give birth in two weeks since they’re stronger, something along those lines” Wonyoung added, and you couldn't help but burst out laughing. 

Maybe you were getting along with them, but the eerie atmosphere around you and the blank stares you received from other students grounded you. 

“Yo new girl, wanna come to a party tonight?” Niki turned towards you with a questioning expression. 

You have been studying your whole life, cramming information until late hours of the night, which resulted in you having to give up your social life or anything of that sort. You had friends, but never the time to go out with them. So this would be your first party ever, and you had no idea how to behave. 

“Sure,” you replied, not giving it any more thought. If you started overthinking it, you’d probably deny the request. 

“Put in your number, I’ll send you the address” he gave you his phone once again, and you swiftly typed in your digits, saving your contact under ‘Song Y/n’. 

“Show me your schedule, I’ll walk you to your next class” Wonyoung turned to you, and you dug up the crumbled piece of paper you received at the front office. 

_______

Niki had eventually texted you the address, offering a ride along with it, unless you already had one. You gladly accepted his offer, although his kindness seemed weird and suspicious to you. 

Maybe you just weren't used to people being nice to you simply out of human decency and without any ulterior motives, but someone as high up and rich as Niki or Wonyoung should not be bothered by someone like you. They definitely shouldn't be offering you rides in their expensive sports cars. 

“Oh c’mon Wony, we gotta give our transfer the princess treatment” he said, shooing her away from the passenger seat with his hand. 

She rolled her eyes playfully, but agreed to give up her front seat, which you tried to convince her to take back for a little over a minute. 

“No Y/nnie, you're probably going to meet our little devil tonight, you need as much peace as you can get before that” she assured, and you just shook your head at her reluctance. 

“And who exactly are you talking about?” you asked, turning around to once again face Wonyoung who already got comfortable in the back seat.

“I’ll ask you that question tomorrow morning, it’s more fun that we keep it a secret for now” she giggled childishly, and Niki nodded his head approvingly at her idea. 

You sighed sarcastically, and tried to remember any person they didn't go into full detail about just a couple of hours ago. Jay, Jake, Sunghoon, all of them kept getting mixed up in your head as you had no real idea as to what the three looked like. You passed by the cafeteria with Wonyoung earlier, where you didn’t quite register what Jay and Sunghoon looked like. Maybe it’s someone completely different, or someone affiliated with the three guys you had a fair amount of information about. 

“You drink, don’t you?” Niki asked, turning his head to face you for just a mere second, before focusing his eyes back on the road. 

“Not really” you answered unbothered. 

Drinking was nothing to be proud about anyways, and assuming Niki doesn't want to lose his recently acquired drivers license, he probably wasn't going to do it either. 

“Same here. Me and Wony don’t drink” he smiled “But the rest of them, their a different kind of fucked up. Especially your precious, sweet, innocent boyfriend, Wonyoung” he added, and looked at the girl through his rear view mirror. 

She screwed her face jokingly “Sunghoon doesn't drink that much, at least now that he’s with me” she defended, and he scoffed. 

“And you’re stupid for thinking he’s not getting shit faced every weekend with his demonic cult of a friend group” he commented, and she huffed in annoyance crossing her arms. 

“Y/nnie, you know what Hoon looks like, right?” she turned her attention to you. 

You shook your head, causing her to pull out her phone in order to present you with pictures of her beloved boyfriend. 

He was smoking fucking hot, but his expression and lack of emotion on every picture made you think that maybe Niki was right, he truly looked like he didn't give a single fuck about the girl. Well it seems to be working out for them so far, so who are you to butt in. 

“Keep an eye on him, I need to prove that my boyfriend is not the alcoholic and druggie you-” she pointed her finger at Niki “make him out to be” 

“No problem” you smiled and she excitedly held your hand. 

“Just when you do catch him chugging down shot glasses like a pig, don't tell her cause she won't believe you anyways” he murmured, but the both of you heard him anyways. 

You turned to Wonyoung and rolled your eyes playfully which she gave you a hushed giggle at, agreeing with whatever you were thinking about. 

The road felt like it had been going on forever, you swore you already saw the same street signs and lanterns a couple minutes back. It felt like Niki had been going in circles, but those thoughts were most likely caused by your absence in this area of town. 

After what felt like an eternity in Niki’s uncomfortable low-floor car, that was impossible to get comfortable in, he had finally pulled over into a gravel filled space. In the distance a modern house was illuminated by colorful lights, and the music could be quietly heard from the place you were standing in. 

The interior of the place was suffocating you, the music giving you a headache, the smell of cigarettes, weed, alcohol and sweat seeping into your skin, as you and Wonyoung pushed through the crowd. Wonyoung didn't seem to be affected as she pushed through the bodies in order to find her boyfriend who she must have missed terribly for the past five hours. 

“Sunghoonnie!” she beamed, and his body instantly turned to the sound of her squeaky voice. 

He was hard to read, you didn't exactly know if he was excited to see her or praying for her to leave him and his friends alone. He held a glass with a brownish liquid in his hand, and you knew for a fact Wonyoung was trying to ignore it or pretend it wasn't what everyone else knew it was. 

Sunghoon was obviously drinking whiskey. 

Even they're choice of alcohol was so different from what you knew back in your public school. Those kids could barely afford the cheapest liquor, and here you were witnessing Sunghoon and his friends downing bottles worth more than the pocket money your brother gave you every month. 

“Oh great, two Wonyoung’s. Can’t women just stick to painting their nails and doing their makeup? This is not the place for you” Jay commented as he finally noticed the two of you. 

“Did your daddy teach you that? I wasn't talking to you, dickhead” the girl next to you answered with a sarcastic pout to her face. 

“I’m Jake” the brown haired boy stuck his hand out “You're new, right?” 

Wonyoung had already let you go to entertain her boyfriend who obviously was not having it. Even as she was eating his face, he wasn't half as passionate about it as she was. 

“Yeah” you took his hand “Y/n” 

He had a devilish grin as he and the blond boy exchanged glances. 

“So where are you coming from?” Jake asked, but his eyes weren't even focused on your face, instead staring right into your partially exposed chest. 

You sighed, and leaned against the wall “Doesn't matter” maybe you had a terrible judgment of character, but you knew that admitting to coming from a public, low income school would end you right then and there. 

“You’re right, it doesn't” he smirked, hoping that you had understood his intentions by now, “Want a drink?” he asked, turning around to unveil a couple glasses and a bottle of Dalmore whiskey. 

“I don't really drink” you explained, trying to keep up with your nonchalant facade that you prayed would spare you some embarrassment tonight. 

It felt stressful to be around them, their demeanor intimidating. 

“Oh c’mon, one little glass never hurt anyone” Jay uttered, already pouring a glass that he was shoving into your hand a couple seconds later. 

He looked incredibly hot doing so, his slicked back blond hair and white button down almost making you forget he’s a mentally unstable and misogynistic idiot. 

Did they all have to be so irresistibly hot? Was being rich not enough? 

“Drink it, there’s a reward afterwards” he added, as his attempts to place the glass in your hand turned out to be successful. 

“Only if you’re a good girl” Jake added, and Jay with a devilish smile hit his shoulder. 

You examined the glass, remembering all the stories of boys spiking drinks with drugs that Eunseok told you about, but all that seemed so unimportant right now. 

You promised yourself to never go against what your mind told you, but that was broken the minute you downed the glass, the unfamiliar, burning flavor coating your throat. 

“Atta girl” Jake praised, as he took the glass from your hand.

“Women are so easy, it’s crazy” Jay whispered, assuring you wouldn't hear his words “Let me pour you another one” he said, his voice a little louder this time. 

You shook your head, but he seemed to ignore that all together, grabbing the cup and filling it to the brim once again. 

“Drink up” Jake slurred, and focused his eyes onto the way your throat looked while you swallowed the liquid. 

They were disgusting. The way they objectified you, the way they looked at you like you were going to let them hit without any problems. 

The boys you knew would make jokes, but they’d never act on it like Jay and Jake did. 

You slammed the glass on the table where it was previously laid, and without a word turned away from the two men who were clearly confused about your sudden departure. 

“We’ll see each other soon, yeah?” Jake called, and with a forced smile you mouthed a ‘Maybe’. 

“She still doesn't know about all the filth that goes on in here, eh?” Jay chuckled devilishly, and Jake smirked, pouring himself a drink in the cup you left behind. 

You had already thought that Wonyoung and Niki were completely different from the people you used to surround yourself with, but after meeting Jake and Jay, you cursed yourself for even thinking that. You had given up your social life, so meeting new people regularly was never something that you did, but you never met someone so deranged. Were the girls at this school all so easy and compliant to their orders? You just wondered where their ego came from. 

Squeezing through all the damp bodies was definitely a challenge, but finding a quiet and empty room surely made it worth it. 

The room was practically empty, you assumed something that was supposed to resemble a guest bedroom, but you doubted any guest would wanna sleep here. A single bed in the middle of the large room was not enough. 

You closed the door behind you with a quiet squeak, and threw yourself on the bed, your eyes facing the ceiling. 

Amongst the weird smell that surrounded the room a voice called you “You're the new girl, aren't you?” 

You didn't notice the open balcony door upon entering. 

Your body automatically turned to face the voice, a handsome and presumably tall boy sat on one of the plastic chairs. Smoke circled around him as he looked at you with heavy eyelids, taking another hit from the joint between his fingers. 

You leaned your head on the palm of your hand “How do you know?” 

“News spreads fast around here. You don’t know, do you?” he gave you a childish smile, and with a nod to his head he without a word offered you to smoke with him, which you declined. 

“What’s your name?” you asked him, his dark eyes bringing discomfort to your body. 

“Why should I tell you, transfer?” he laughed, and you stiffened up at his answer. “It’s Heeseung” he said after a moment, noticing that you were not enjoying his jokes. 

Lee Heeseung was the youngest son of Lee Guwon and Kim Shinhye, the founders and owners of the largest hotel line in the country. They just recently went international, opening yet another hotel-restaurant in the heart of Singapore. His older sister, Lee Rina, had no interest in the company, firmly convinced that it's a greedy industry. She moved to Norway to study and just never came back. But his older brother, Lee Haejun, was different. He was stuck on the idea of becoming the next CEO. After both him and Heeseung were old enough to understand what benefits came with being a leader of a major hotel line, they stopped treating each other like brothers, instead focusing on the rivalry that was brewing. They wanted so badly to prove to their father who's more competent, who deserves it more, that at one point it became too much. 

Heeseung at one point no longer wanted any of it. He just wanted his brother back. Haejun just never was the same brother Heeseung learned to love. He didn't care. Heeseung felt like he lost both of his siblings although they weren't actually gone. 

“I don’t think they mentioned you” you murmured, trying to recall the conversations you had with Wonyoung and Niki. 

“Wonyoung and Niki? Probably because they don't like me” he laughed, and put out his blunt on the tiles of the balcony, throwing what was left into a jar filled with water. 

“They like everyone, I think it’s a ‘you’ problem” you assumed, and he scoffed. 

His body sluggishly stood up from the chair, as he tried to not fall over the balcony “Both of them are fake as fuck, and I don’t think you’re one to judge” 

You sighed “You don’t know them” 

“I know them better than you, transfer” he chuckled, “They always cuddle up to new students, just like Wonyoung did to Jake, and whenever they go slightly out of line, they drop them” he explained, and you foolishly didn't believe his words, choosing to stand with your new friends who you in reality, knew nothing about. 

“I don’t know, I don't think the Jake that I just met, and got forced to drink by, is a good example” you murmured, playing with your hair, avoiding eye contact with the boy. 

He had this dark aura surrounding him, his hooded eyes just adding into his image, making him look much more scary. 

He slowly moved towards you, accompanying you on the silk covered bed. That’s when you could truly analyze his face; bloodshot, brown eyes, a curve to his lips, his nose slightly pointed and eyebrows straight. His skin was glistening, a soft tan to it. He looked at you so intensely, and you couldn't quite reciprocate, scared of his intimidating presence. 

“Jake was always like this, they just didn't know how to handle him” he smiled, his hand inching closer to where your legs lied “They love saying that Jay ruined him, but he didn't even have to do that” 

“What do you mean by having to do that? Why would he have to?” you asked, as your body froze, not allowing you to move further away from him. 

He didn't stop attempting to close the gap between the two of you “You know what I mean” he smirked “This isn't the place you think it is, pretty girl. We can't have a goody two shoes prancing around” his smile was straight, as his hand moved to sooth your lower thigh. 

You never were this close to a boy before. 

“I still don't get it” you said, your voice trembling as he moved further up. 

“You don't need to, you’ll see for yourself. Soon, don't worry” he cooed, and you could feel his sinister words burn through your skin. 

“You like this? Tell me” he asked, his grip on your thigh tightened, and you felt words get stuck in your throat. 

“ I don’t know you, Heeseung” you answered out of breath. 

He liked the way his name slipped from your lips, your tone mellow and soothing. He could definitely get used to it. 

“You don’t need to know everyone you want to have a little fun with” his eyes twinkled slightly, as he spoke softly, trying to distract you from his touch moving to places you  probably wouldn't like him being in. 

“Do you do this to every girl you just meet?” you piqued, and he chuckled, finally taking out his hand from under your dress in order to move a strand of hair out of your face. 

“Only the ones I find pretty” he answered. 

Heeseung was such a lightweight, he couldn't stop his smile and laughter as he played with you, knowing you could pretend, but not resist him. He wanted to undress you right there and then, behind an unlocked door, which he’d hoped some disgusting pervert like Jake would open, they could perhaps have you together, share your body. But he was smarter than that. He couldn't alienate you so early on. 

“Maybe another time” you murmured, giving up your previous position to stand up from the bed. 

He didn't let you, standing up with you, blocking you from walking to the door. He stumbled a little bit, but managed to hold you down. 

“You wanted to get to know me, what happened to that?” he whispered. 

“I never said that” you replied, and attempted once again to leave the room. 

No one has ever had this effect on you. You didn't truly want to leave, not only his firm stance was keeping you away from that door. 

You had boyfriends, but all of them were too scared to even hold your hand in public, not to mention kiss you. So you were aware of these things, but not familiar with them. 

“Why do you have to be so tough? I just want to make you feel good? What’s the crime in that?” he cooed, and brought his hand up to caress your cheek. 

“I always wanted it to be special, not some one night stand” you voiced, and he hummed. 

It felt so weird and embarrassing to talk to him like this. You didn't know him. You also couldn't say no, cause some part of you wanted it too. 

Maybe it’s because you wanted to fit in, maybe because you didn't want to be any different from the people that went to this school. But you’d always be different- as long as your parents weren't owners of a giant conglomerate or business, you’d always be different. 

“My sweet girl is a virgin? That’s okay, don’t be embarrassed” he cooed, and squeezed your hand tightly. 

You never knew how hard it is to be sober and talk to a high person. He just didn't fully comprehend the environment that surrounded him, not a single ounce of fear or embarrassment in his veins, just nothingness. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asked with a soft voice.

Heeseung knew exactly what he was doing, he knew exactly how his slurred words sounded and how they affected you. 

You nodded, and he grabbed your jaw, pulling you into his embrace. Nothing could have prepared you for his wet, plump lips that molded perfectly into yours. You felt so good against him, and he couldn't find himself pulling away, the bulge in his pants growing as you fingers slightly brushed along the longer strands of hair on the back of his head. 

It was all so new to you. Maybe it was the alcohol that Jake and Jay forced down your throat, or maybe you just couldn't help but naturally feel attracted to Heeseung. It’s been barely 24 hours, and you’ve broken all the promises you made to yourself. 

While you were overthinking, Heeseung wondered just how long until he gets to fuck your pretty, virgin hole.  

“Mmm, it wasn't that hard, was it?” he smiled as he was forced to pull away out of lack of air, his eyes practically closing on him. 

You avoided his gaze, a small smile on your swollen lips. He laughed softly, and grabbed your hand in his. 

“I just want to help you. You’re a big girl, you should know how the world works” he cooed, dumbing you down. But you accepted it. Every word of his you took in and analyzed. Maybe he was right. 

He was this big, important rich guy from an important family, and you were just living in his world. You were nothing like him, his worries surrounded taking over the company or not, while you had to wonder if you had the money to go out with your friend on the weekend. You could try, but you’ll never be the same. 

And Heeseung knew that. He knew how much power he had over you simply because his bank account was decorated by nothing less than quadruple digits. 

“I don’t think you should be hanging out with Wonyoung and Niki. They're fake, you know?” he whispered, and focused his eyes on you “Let me be the one you come to when you need help, okay?” 

You nodded, and he just hummed in approval, liking the way you agreed with anything he said. 

You knew he was treating you like a child, babying you and bossing you around like he even had any right to do so, but you didn't find yourself stopping him either. 

To you he spoke with such delicacy, and he paid attention to you in a way no one ever has. Heeseung was different from anyone you encountered, and that’s exactly what pulled you in, forcing you to uncover more about him. 

But he just liked how you gave into his words way easier than he thought you would. He never knew it would be this easy to manipulate you. Heeseung never expected you to so naively believe that Wonyoung and Niki were the ones who were going to do you wrong, that they were the ones to cuddle up to new students in order to drop them just moments later. He had you where he wanted you and it didn't even take him a full hour. 

______

“You didn’t text me last night, did you get home alright?” Wonyoung asked, settling down next to you in the study hall. 

You ignored her gaze, her shuffling and moving, making an annoyed groan escape from your lips. 

“Yeah,” you replied swiftly, turning your attention back to the worksheet in front of you. 

Heeseung’s words had stuck with you. You couldn’t fathom the idea of Niki and Wonyoung, one of the nicest, most welcoming people you have ever met, being bullies. But perhaps that was the reason for their warm introduction. They wanted you to trust them. 

Niki, noticing that Wonyoung had finally joined you in the study hall, turned around in his chair, taking out one of his airpods. 

“Did you find who we were talking about in the car? A special someone told me they saw you together last night” Niki smiled widely like an idiot, and Wonyoung giggled, awaiting your answer. 

You scoffed “The so-called devil” and murmured “Heeseung, right? He was very nice, I don’t get it” 

They laughed, and you felt something twist inside of you at the sound of their forced posh, and elegant laughter. 

“That’s the point. He’s nice at first, to get you to like him, trust him, and then he strikes” Niki told, and to you it sounded like he was describing his little mutual admiration circle with Wonyoung. 

“I don’t know, honestly. He seemed like a good person” you inquired quietly, trying to focus on the work you had to do. 

“Let me guess, he asked for consent, or said he ‘just wants to help you’, and you believed he’s a respectful guy? Y/n don’t be so naive” Wonyoung said sternly, and you scoffed, remembering how her boyfriend’s best friends treated you. Sunghoon was probably no different, so who was she to judge? 

“You're dating Sunghoon, Wonyoung. Mind you, he’s one of the all so bad Heeseung’s friends” 

Niki and Wonyoung looked at each other confused, wondering why you were suddenly being so cold and distant. 

“He wasn’t like that always,” she said, and you looked at her questioning. 

“You think people can change so drastically, just like that? He always had it in him, he just found the right people to unleash it with, that’s all” you answered, and she felt her body shift slightly. 

Sunghoon transferred to Saint Matthews in his sophomore year, after studying abroad in an international school in Singapore. No one could really know if Sunghoon was any different before he joined, because he almost immediately hit it off with Heeseung, and his friend group. 

“You don’t know what you're talking about” Niki said, with an annoyed look on his face. 

“Oh kill me then. All I know is the shitty little gig you’re playing on me. I know what you guys do to new students- shape them to be your perfect little servant, and then drop them when it stops being amusing to you. Just like you did to Jake. So stop trying to blame everything on Heeseung when you know damn well he's not a bad person” you replied frustrated, collecting all your things, and standing up to leave the space. 

Niki and Wonyoung were stunned at your words, following you until you disappeared out the door. 

They realized you truly had met Heeseung, and that there was no turning back now. 

Just like any girl, he had you tied to his leash, and they were powerless. 

____

“Yeah, it’s crazy. I didn’t expect her to fold so easily” Heeseung laughed, as he downed another shot of tequila Jay stole from his dads alcohol cabinet. His father owned so many bottles he probably wouldn’t notice one of them went missing. 

Just like he didn’t notice his son's worsening alcoholic tendencies. 

“No trust me, she didn’t even fight back that much when we offered her whiskey” Jake sneered, and Jay grinned evilly. 

Jay was the first one to notice you. He caught a glimpse of you as you stood so shyly in the cafeterias entryway, Wonyoung happily talking to you, as you looked around the place. He didn’t recognize your face.  

You were pretty to him. Your face gleaned with innocence, and he could smell the way you were so intimidated by the people and sinister atmosphere of the school. He couldn’t even bother listening to whatever Sunghoon was going on about next to his ear, focused on only you. He knew exactly what happened to sweet girls like you, and he couldn’t wait for it. 

And maybe at one point in time he could have you too. His big hands would slowly take off your shirt, his fingers slipping down under your jeans, pressing against your pulsing core. You’d tell him to stop, and he’d only laugh in your ear, unbuckling his belt. 

“Wonyoung said she flipped off on them today when they mentioned you” Sunghoon tuned to Heeseung, pouring himself another shot “Niki said it’s like this with every girl, and she totally went bonkers on them or some shit” he laughed before his face twisted as the burning liquid slid down his throat. 

“That’s so pathetic. She doesn’t even know him” Jake chuckled, and leaned back in his seat, his back melting into the soft cushion. 

“That’s like the whole point, she isn’t supposed to know,” Heeseung noted, and they nodded slightly. “And I don’t think that’s more pathetic than Wonyoung leeching onto Sunghoon even though he doesn’t even hide the fact he doesn’t like her in the slightest” 

Jay scoffed sarcastically “Defending her so quickly, sure” he hummed, and Heeseung rolled his eyes. 

“My mom got her a campaign with our company, and now she thinks we’re gonna get married. It’s so annoying” Sunghoon explained, and they laughed. 

“Then just breakup with her. She needs you, but you don’t need her, dude” Jake commented, and Sunghoon shook his head lively. 

“She’s nice to have around. And it’s not like I don’t like her at all, she just gets on my nerves” he explained. 

“When my mom pissed off my dad, she got divorce papers handed to her, and kicked out the door. Women are supposed to serve men, not be an obstacle. All she is, is an obstacle. You’re taking over your mom’s company, you can’t let her get in the way” Jay turned to Sunghoon, who just pretended to listen to his nonsense. 

Maybe Jay was one of his best friends, but he couldn’t bear listening to his bullshit. He grew up around women- a single mother, his nannies who were strictly women (since his mother didn’t trust men around her only child), and cousins who were practically only girls. He knew women could achieve things alone, his mother being his best example. 

“So, what is your plan?” Jake averted his gaze to Heeseung, who didn��t seem to be amused by the conversation surrounding you and Wonyoung. 

“Was there ever a plan? She doesn’t even put up a fight, and already blew up on her new friends. This won’t be hard” he answered, and Jake nodded, satisfied with Heeseung’s answer. 

“I think you guys are wasting your time, honestly” Sunghoon commented. 

Jay looked at him annoyed “You and your feminist bullshit again” he murmured, and didn’t even bother pouring the substance into his shot glass, drinking straight from the bottle. 

“Jesus Christ, Jay. Just cause I have the tiniest percentage of respect for women, doesn’t mean I’m some fucking feminist. I’m not stopping you from seducing that girl, I just think it’s a waste of time. If you want pussy so bad, just find yourself a hook up, it’s not that hard” he answered, and Jay seemed to accept his answer, too tired to start another fight about this with his friend. 

“We’re only 19, Sunghoon. It won't hurt to have some fun while we can” Jake piqued, and with a swift movement of his hand, grabbed the bottle from the floor, tilting it to pour the rest of liquid into his mouth. 

“I just think that's kind of unappreciative” he murmured, and all of them turned to him. Jay rolled his eyes and with a sigh ushered Sunghoon to continue “A shit load of kids our age don't get to have half the opportunities we do, so if I were you I wouldn't fuck around so much, but actually put in the work to maybe prove that we aren't fucking imbeciles who just sit around and get chauffeured all day” he explained, and they all looked at him with a confused gaze. 

“Says the one who is failing practically all his classes. And what does any of that have to do with Y/n? What do you like her or something? You can hit if you want, it’s an open game” Jay laughed, and Sunghoon sighed.

But he wasn't annoyed, just incredibly frustrated that none of his friends understood what he was trying to convey to them. 

He didn't study, at least not much, and even though he was always aware of the fact that he will most definitely take over his mothers company, he didn't quite like the idea of people thinking he only did because there were no other options. In some way he wanted to earn it, or at least feel like he did deserve it. 

“It’s most definitely not an open game” Heeseung commented, and Jay looked at him with wide eyes. 

“What? C’mon dude, she’s some public school transfer, it’s just fun and games. Don't start being all protective and jealous over her” he scoffed, this being the second time that Heeseung made a comment of that sort about you. 

Jay didn't like this new found protectiveness Heeseung had acquired for you even though barely 24 hours ago he was making equally nasty and perverted comments about you. 

“You're being an asshole today, you know that right?” Heeseung started, his eyes scanning the room, avoiding Jay. 

“I’m being an asshole? All of you suddenly started acting like some fuckass henpecked husbands, when this would be the exact behavior you’d make fun of just a month ago” he groaned, gritting his teeth. 

“I’m sorry Jay that your mom doesn't love you, and your dad only sees you as a token of business, but we weren't raised like that” Sunghoon said, standing up from his seat, ready to leave. 

“That’s fucked up Hoon” Jake whispered, looking at Jay’s spechless expression. 

“You know what else is fucked up Jake? That Jay is a fucking misogynist and Heeseung is some otherworldly type of addict and no is trying to help them. I have been the only person who has been putting in the slightest amount of effort to try and get them help, but I can't possibly do it alone. That’s fucked up Jaeyun. I’m leaving” he blew up, grabbing all his things, and with a tired sigh he left the living room, going straight for the door. 

It was true. Maybe Sunghoon was an idiot and sometimes acted like a huge asshole, but he was right. He loved his friends and seeing them ruin and throw their lives away hurt him. But everyone who was caught up in the same wind, didn't seem to notice. 

“Call me when you fucking grow up, Sunghoon” Jay shouted, an angered expression plastered all over his face as the door slams abruptly. 

All three of them sat in silence as they tried to figure out what happened in the span of just a couple minutes. How did the conversation come down to Jay and Heeseung having issues, and why was Sunghoon suddenly trying to act all sweet and caring when he never did care.

 Or at least they didn't notice the countless times Sunghoon tried to stop them, but to no avail. 

“I think I’m gonna go too,” Heeseung said, after a moment of dead silence. 

Without a word, Jay and Jake nodded, still not quite present in the moment. 

That’s exactly how Heeseung ended up in your home, dumping all his issues onto you as you attempted to comfort him with a slight brush of your fingers against his soft hair. 

Your outbreak with Wonyoung and Niki, left you feeling alone once again. Those thoughts kept eating you alive, but you knew that's exactly what they wanted. They wanted you to desperately crawl back to them, begging for another chance as you cried out an apology. 

You knew that coming back to them would only prove this (untrue) point of them using you and many others for their own pleasure. Turning around, and apologizing would hurt your pride beyond repair. 

And it wasn't like Heeseung was making this up either. His heart genuinely cracked at the sight of his friends fighting. 

They fought, all the time, but there was no comparing this to a fight over who gets to take the first hit or who gets to play the better character, to Sunghoon leaving completely, his harsh words still lingering in the air. 

He wasn't an addict. He was a normal teenager doing normal teenager things. He wasn't wrong for being curious.

“I’m happy that you stood up for me today, at study hall” he said, his voice low as your touch was putting him in a sleepy state. 

“How do you know about that?” you asked, not even having the time to tell him about it. 

He smiled, rolling on his side to face you “Sunghoon told me” 

“Are you really not mad at me?” you tilted your head curiously. 

He laughed, and lifting himself from your lap, he grabbed your hand in his. You could feel his warm touch embrace you fully, the action alone was enough to calm your uneasy heart. 

“No one stands up for me. I could never be mad at you for being on my side even though you barely know me” he admitted, and it made your plush lips form into a small smile. 

“Your friends never stand up for you? I find that hard to believe, Hee” 

He likes the way his name slips from your lips, the usage of the nickname forcing him to stifle the growing, uncomfortable feeling in his pants. He hated the fact that he had to control himself around you. But still, he loved the innocent look on your face as you were so oblivious to the boner in his pants. 

“They just don't know how to, I think,” he said in a whisper. “They're too caught up in their own lives, and I don't blame them. They have a lot on their plate as it is” he added, his lips forming into a straight smile, as he tried to look apologetic in front of you. 

Heeseung wanted you to see him as this complex, emotional being that's only purpose on earth is to help others. His financial situation wasn't helping him create this image, he feared that you’d think he’s just searching for problems, wanting to experience life with all the hardships that a person like him doesn't usually get bothered by. 

But you never thought so, you viewed Heeseung the exact way he wanted you to. You believed in every word he said. If only he knew that though, his cocky nature would probably fight its way to domination. 

“You’re a good friend, Heeseung” you smiled, squeezing his hand tighter. He chuckled lightly, looking at you with the same straight smile “You have me now, you know that? You said you’d help me whenever, and I want to do the same for you” 

You vividly remember his lips on yours. You can recall exactly how he tasted and how he felt against your own skin. He helped you reach some otherworldly ecstacy without going further than a simple touch. You knew you wanted him to be more, but it was too early for that admission, too early to let yourself sink in that feeling. 

You didn't understand what was going on between the two of you, where this connection was heading, and in some way it thrilled you. You couldn't possibly be friends, not after what he said that night. 

“I hope you know I meant everything I said” he uttered, and you slowly nodded, trying to recall every word that slipped from his pretty lips “I think you’re special” he added. 

Heeseung didn't know himself if this was all fake, cause at that moment it felt too real to him. He was speaking from his heart, in some way. 

Lee Heeseung was beautiful, the closest you’ll get to any godly figure. He couldn't possibly be flawed in any way. 

But there were some things the boy wouldn't even admit to himself. All the fighting, and neglecting, made him out to be this way. He always longed for the type of love no one but a parent could give him. He wanted to be loved so much it picked him apart. Heeseung never experienced what it’s like to care for someone so much, to care for someone unconditionally. 

And as the youngest sibling, no one had that love for him, because there was someone before him. 

“I’m definitely not special, Hee. It’s all you” you smiled, and he laughed softly, his eyes falling onto his lap as a rosy tint decorated his cheeks. 

“It could always be just us. You could come over, and stay till morning” he turned to you, a newfound sincerity in his eyes, as he spoke to you. 

“You’d want that?” you uttered quietly. 

The faint melody playing from the radio became muffled as you sat next to him. You never felt closer to another person, and it was all so new to you. 

“Mhm, really” he confessed, and you believed. 

It was all so domestic- he wanted to escape his family line, but he behaved just like them. Heeseung could never change the blood he was born with, blood of condescending, arrogant, manipulative, money hungry assholes. 

“Will you promise to stay with me?” he asked, ending the comforting silence that embraced you. 

You laughed lightly, finding his worries sweet “I promise” you said sticking out your pinky finger. 

“You still do that?” he said with a soft chuckle. You pouted awaiting his finger that could solidify the promise. 

He laughed and intertwined his pinky with yours. 

_______ 

Spending time with Heeseung was easy. He just always knew what to say and what to do. He was like the sweetest thing bee’s like you would fly towards. 

He had eventually introduced you to Jake, Jay and Sunghoon who eagerly apologized for coming onto you and forcing alcohol down your throat at the party, and stupidly you laughed it off not wanting to give them reasons to dislike you. 

You wanted to fit in with them. Eunseok wasn't as happy, trying to keep up with your new lifestyle, but something deep inside him didn't want to stop. He knew he owed it to you after the years of neglect his parents had presented you with. After the years of living in his shadow maybe this was the only way to repay you. 

Jake had seemed awfully desperate when you first met him. He looked and acted like one of those sleazy guys who adds girls on snapchat and sends them unsolicited dick pics, but he quickly managed to prove you wrong. You rarely spent time alone with him, almost never, but whenever that moment came, Jake became a completely different person. He was nice. He was actually so painstakingly nice to the point where you would ponder his existence in that friend group. 

And Jay- you felt nothing towards the boy. The one thing Wonyoung and Niki got right was his obvious desire to become a Korean Andrew Tate. He had nothing to give except misogynist comments he’d pretend were only jokes, and if you dared to be offended then you simply had no sense of humor. 

Sunghoon, it was hard to describe him. He just didn't really talk much. He was never there, he wasn't present although sitting just across from the ongoing conversation. Maybe he always was this way, or maybe you were the problem. 

But Heeseung, he felt some kind of obsession towards you. He wanted to carve his initials deep into your skin until you bleed a deep shade of red, all out of love for him. He wanted to touch you in the places your mere, inexperienced fingers couldn't reach. He couldn't understand you, he couldn't bear the fact that you didn't fit into the pattern, and it made him sick. 

“Get a fucking grip Y/n!” Wonyoung screamed, tugging at the thick material of your blazer. 

She pulled you discreetly into a dark hallway that connected the music hall to the rest of the school. 

“Don’t touch me” you uttered, trying to peer away from the girl. 

Wonyoung didn't look mad, angry, her face was full of desperation as her glassy eyes looked at your tired face. 

“Don't you see what he’s doing to you? He’s trying to ruin you. Why are you being so fucking stubborn!” she begged for understandment but your face was blank. 

“Are you jealous? What is this about, Wonyoung? God, If you want Sunghoon’s attention then go ask him for it. I don’t know you, and you don't know me” you grit your teeth, as she looked at you terrified. 

“What are you even talking about?” she uttered, her voice cracking. 

“I’m done playing your game. Find another person to play with, I’m sure there's plenty” you replied. 

“Y/n you're not one of us. You never will be, so stop trying so hard. Getting with Heeseung won't help you fit in either. And you better not come to me when he destroys whatever reputation you have left” her words were harsh, and it seemed like your mention of Sunghoon riled her up completely. 

Wonyoung and Sunghoon have been dating for a while now. Only Wonyoung would know the exact timeline since Sunghoon had no interest in celebrating milestones with the girl. 

It wasn't like he didn't like her at all, he wouldn't give her the time of day if that was the case. He just found it thrilling and entertaining, the way she called his name, the way she���d give up everything for him if he asked. Sunghoon’s mother had set him up with the eldest daughter of Taesung Group the moment she found out he’d be a boy, so to him, Wonyoung was just a distraction from the tiring business life his mother engulfed him in. 

“Give it up, Jang Wonyoung” a male voice echoed, footsteps coming closer. 

She looked disgusted when the vision of the boy became clearer. 

“Didn't manipulate her enough today, so you had to come do it here? Fuck off, Heeseung” she sneared. 

Heeseung laughed, and grabbed your hand ostentatiously. Her gaze was glued to your intertwined hands. It made you smile slightly, the way her lip twitched at the vision, it was satisfying. 

“No one’s manipulating anyone. Sorry if that messes up your little narrative” he replied, with a smile that made her want to throw up. 

“I’ve been here long enough to know that's bullshit. You’re full of shit, Lee Heeseung” 

Your eyes flew back and forth as you tried to analyze everything about the situation. 

“Open your eyes, Y/n. Can’t you see it?” she whispered, her expression changing as she turned towards you. 

“I’m not like you, remember? So stop trying to give me advice, it’s pathetic” you voiced, and she scoffed.

“Did she say that to you” Heeseung looked down at you worriedly, and as soon as you nodded slightly, he looked back up to Wonyoung “And I’m the bad guy? At least she didn't have to convince Kim Sunoo’s parents to forcibly get her into the school” he smirked, and Wonyoung with a frustrated groan, positioned her body towards the music hall, leaving you two in the eerie hallway. 

Wonyoung was the best scoring student, but things used to be completely different. She despised studying, keeping a large distance from all sorts of books. But her parents couldn't fathom the idea that Wonyoung would not attend Saint Matthews. So with a bottle of expensive wine and some sweet words, the girl's parents got her in using their connection to Kim Sunoo’s parents who were major politicians in the country. 

She didn't like people bringing that up ever since it drunkenly slipped her while at a birthday party, so Heeseung exposing it in front of you had her embarrassed for the rest of the day. She wanted you to believe her badly, but the revelations only confirmed all your speculations about the girl, making it practically impossible for you to listen to anything she has to say to you from now on. 

… 

“God Wonyoung is such a bitch! Is she jealous? What is her issue seriously” you complained, pacing around Heeseung’s terrifyingly large room. 

It was your first time over at the boys house. It was unusual for you, all the maids showing you around, treating you like royalty, guiding you to every room. Their fake smiles, and forced acts of kindness made you sick. 

His house was colossal, massive, it extended into a vast land and the drive up to it alone was long-lasting. The walk from your apartment to a nearby store wasn’t half the length of his home, and it was appalling to you in a way. 

Heeseung’s room, for contrast, was bright, warm and welcoming. The sunlight shined down on his belongings from the ceiling high window, creating a special space where all his piano, guitars and other musical instruments lay. You recall him telling you about his passion for music, but you took it as more of an underground soundcloud rapper type of situation. 

“It’s just Sunghoon. It’s always been about Sunghoon” he answered calmly, sitting down on his couch, and with his wrought hand, patted down his lap, beckoning you to come to him. 

“Your friends are nice, and all, but you know nothing can substitute a girl best-friend. I just hoped she would be different” you sighed, and placing yourself on Heeseung’s lap, your arms automatically wrapped around his neck, head slightly leaning on his shoulder. 

His hands instinctively encased your waist, his head moving along with his eyes, as he tried to get a better look at your worn out face. 

For a moment Lee Heeseung felt bad, seeing how much comfort the two of you found in each other, knowing he can’t possibly let this go on longer. It started off with pure lust, a need to ruin the scholarship student that knows nothing about life from this side. Now  he was finding himself wanting more, knowing he can’t give it. 

Heeseung wanted to wreck your innocent image, but found himself losing it far before he even had the chance to start his plan. 

“They’re your friends now too, Y/n” he whispered, the moment feeling way too sacred “She’s lying, you know that right?” he asked after a moment of silence. He looked at you once again, checking for your expression. 

“I know, Seungie” your voice is muffled by the material of his jacket, but he can hear your words loud and clear. 

He feels like all the air in his lungs has been vacuumed up, as his last breath hitches in his throat. He feels sick. Your pretty eyes look at him with so much sincerity, trust, yet all he can think about is vivid images of your small frame under him. He can't help but wonder just how much prettier you’d look with tears in your eyes as you’d tell him it hurts. 

His fingers slightly slide over the buttons of your blouse, as he continues to stare deeply into your face, searching for signs to stop. But you look towards him indifferently, a calm expression decorating your features. 

Heeseung’s hand hovers over your uncovered thigh. He wants to feel the wetness that seeps through your panties on his fingers so badly. He wants to slowly unbutton your blouse, his eyes scanning your figure, his hands grabbing onto anything. 

“Do you want to smoke with me?” he asked, hoping that his lessons on how to properly inhale would lead him to something a little more intimate. 

“I haven't done that yet” you admit, and he chuckles. 

“I know. This could be your first” he smiles “Remember, I told you I want to help you. Well I’m doing it now” he added, quickly 

“Am I going to be fine?” you asked, peeling your head off his shoulder to look at him properly. 

Heeseung smiles leaning back on the couch. His fingers delicately push stray strands of hair behind your ear “I’m fine, so I’m sure you’ll be okay” he assures and you nod moderately. 

You deliberately slide off his lap, as he stands up to rummage through the bottom drawer of his dresser. He pulls out a tin box with an adorable puppy on it, and you find it humorous in a way, considering the pretty design is hiding something so toxic inside. 

You remember the sight of high Heeseung very well. He seemed to scare you a little back then, his words slipped from his mouth with so much ease and confidence. 

“You don't have to worry, nobody really gets high on their first try” he places the box on his coffee table, carefully opening it up. 

“Well that’s no fun” you comment. 

“It isn't the case for every new smoker, but still no one really knows why,” he explained, using his extensive knowledge to educate you. 

It wasn't the ideal area of knowledge to know everything about, but it made Heeseung feel good. It made him feel safe whenever he smoked with his friends or new people. He always knew what to do and how to act if something were to go wrong. 

“This weed Jay sold off to me is hella dank, maybe you will feel something after all” he smiled, and even though you had no idea what he was saying, you reciprocated. 

Heeseung pulled out one of his filters, folding it and rolling it into a cylinder. He placed it at the end of his paper, filling it with cannabis and sprinkling just a bit of tobacco inside. He tightened it  and with his tongue moistened the shiny edge of the paper. 

“You need to feel the smoke travel down to your lungs” he explained, searching for a lighter in his pockets “Inhale for like 2 seconds, and take smaller hits so you don't cough so much” he smiled, finally pulling out a green lighter. 

You never were interested in smoking or drinking, but some part of you couldn't deny Heeseung. It was stupid, but perhaps this was your one way ticket to his heart. 

Heeseung lit the joint, staring intensely as the flame moved across the surface, waiting for the right moment to take the first hit. 

He inhaled, his teeth slightly gritting as he exhaled the smoke, the familiar scent hitting your nose. 

He held the blunt between his fingers, and moved closer towards you “I’ll guide you” 

Heeseung propped the lit cannabis next to your lips and with a nod to his head, ushered you to take it into your mouth. You assuringly looked at him, counting down the two seconds in your mind as a burning sensation coated your throat. You felt the smoke travel down to your lungs, pulling away to take a deep breath. With a small cough you exhaled, making Heeseung smile. 

He didn't know he’d enjoy seeing you like this “Good girl” 

You took a long sip of the water that has probably been on his coffee table for a long time, the liquid tasting a little weird. But you didn't care, the need to moisten your throat overpowering the unfresh taste.

“Was it good?” he asked, taking another rip. 

The smoke hit you in the face “Not the best” you answered honestly and he chuckled. 

“It gets better” he assured, and passed you the blunt again. 

… 

It felt weird. Weird in a good way. 

Your eyelids felt heavy, the laughter coming to you naturally. Obviously you didn't feel half as high as Heeseung who swore he was walking in slow motion, but you most certainly were enjoying yourself. 

To Heeseung it feels like an attack on his fragile ego, the fact that he has gotten so far but not on top of you just yet. And even with the minuscule bit of confidence he has earned right now, he needs to at least try. 

Your purity radiates off of every one of your laughs as you intently look at him, just slightly fiddling with the loose string on your skirt. If he moved just a little bit he would probably be able to see what's under the navy material. 

Heeseung’s pants start to feel uncomfortable against his skin once again as you keep on laughing so innocently at his ambiguous jokes only a virgin like you wouldn't understand. 

He wants to feel your lips against his again but this time he knows he won't stop at that. He can't. 

“I want to kiss you so bad” he admitted, and you felt an unknown wave rush through your veins, his face slowly inching closer. 

He waited patiently for a response, his mind well aware that any sudden move would cause his plan to backfire. 

But instead of letting him take the lead, you nearly closed the gap between the two of you, letting your lips just slightly graze against his, smiling as he waited impatiently. 

“Such a tease” he murmured before pressing his pretty mouth against yours, his hands traveling to the back of your neck, holding you still against him. 

He smiled into the kiss, his tongue tasting the familiar vanilla chapstick, the scent of your perfume hypnotizing, making a blur of Heeseung’s mind. The way your lips felt against him even though you were so inexperienced, it felt much more special to him. 

Heeseung’s lips never left your skin, traveling so delicately down to your jaw, placing chaste kisses everywhere he could. His ivory fingers held tightly onto your waist, his other hand cupping your cheek, as he continued to slide down to your neck. 

He wasted no time leaving small, and visible marks, his teeth slightly biting into your skin, the quiet breaths that left your mouth, riling him up even further. 

“Can I?” he asked, Heeseung’s eyes going back and forth from your face to the buttons of your dress shirt. 

With your mouth parted and an unsteady breath you nodded. 

He smirked, and continued to attack your collarbones, his fingers unbuttoning your blouse with ease. 

“You’re so hot” he breathed onto your chest, pressing you down onto the mattress fully. 

The sweet noise that slipped from your lips, made a sly smile reappear on Heeseung's face, his cock twitching in his pants, the material suffocating him. 

If he moved down even a little bit, he’d probably be able to notice the soaking wet patch on your panties. 

The way his lips felt against almost every part of your body, the soft yet sudden touch of his fingers, it all felt way too good to give up. 

Heeseung gave you a knowing look, his face just a couple centimeters from your heat, his hands digging into your thighs. 

He noticed your relectuance “You know I just want to help you” he cooed, soothing down your skin, crawling right back up to face you “Let me make you feel good, pretty girl” 

You weren't afraid of many things in your life, but most importantly, being unraveled by Heeseung and him finding nothing he wants in there. 

You nodded slowly, his smile growing with each one of your nods. You didn't know what he’d do next, the blood in your body pumping faster as you anticipated his next move. 

Heeseung moved up your skirt, and as the fabric moved up, your skin burned with anticipation. His eyes darkened as he took in the sight of your covered cunt, begging for his attention. 

“So wet” he commented, his hand gently pressing your sensitive core “I barely even touched you” he added, chuckling. 

He gave you one last glance searching for confirmation, which you once again gave him, before sliding off your underwear. Heeseung didn't even bother removing your skirt, his mouth wet with desire.

 Heeseung’s fingers barely hover over your folds, the sole heat that radiates off of him making you squirm, twitching slightly. 

He laughs “So sensitive and for what? Relax, pretty thing”. 

He positions himself against you, his eyes locking with yours as he places swift kisses on your inner thigh. His lips move down in a slow pace, and you have to stop yourself from pushing his head forward. Each peck burns on your shivering skin, overwhelming you to the bone. His breath felt soft on your bare flesh, fingers digging into your thighs. 

His tongue flicked out, coming in contact with you after what felt like eternity. Your legs fight the urge to close on him, his mouth sending shockwaves of pleasure down your body. 

You grab at the nearest pillow, covering your face with it, embarrassed at how exposed you felt in front of him. His tongue delved deeper, lapping up all he could taste of you. 

The heat of his touch, the place that warmed you. The pulse, he could hold onto it alongside other rythmns. He just couldn’t get enough, he wanted to pry you open. Time faded away slowly, as he continued to devour you. 

You were on the edge, teetering between pleasure and pain, your body begging for release, as the knot in your stomach tightened.  

His mouth latched onto you, sucking and flicking with expert precision. He was enjoying himself, the sweet taste of innocence lacing his tongue. The sweet taste of crimson red innocence that he worked so hard to diminish, that he worked so hard to scrape you of. 

Heeseung was probably the closest you'll get to heaven in this lifetime. He was God's favorite, right at your thighs giving you the most beautiful form of pleasure avaliable. 

“Fuck” his chest heaves uneasily, his fingers gripping tightly onto your thighs “I could eat you out everyday” 

You wanted to beg him for more, beg him to let you release as it became even harder to hold it in. Completely and utterly lost in the new sensation, you roll your hips, gliding against his parted lips. 

“Keep doing that, fuck” he slurs, lost in a trance, his only goal being making you feel good. 

You caught a glimpse of him for just a moment- his pretty eyes so focused, his lips swollen and covered in your arousal. With every sound, every small movement, his actions became rougher, the feeling in your stomach becoming unbearable. 

“Cum for me, please” he mumbled against your skin, his desperation to make you cum fueled by the way you can't even form a proper sentence in response. 

Your fingers grip his bed sheets, his name falling from your lips multiple times before you feel the knot in your stomach quickly coming undone, a wave of intense pleasure washing over you. 

“Oh my god” you cried before fully releasing onto his face, his tounge desperately trying to lap up every single drop of his own hard work. 

Your whole body twitched in the aftermath of your climax, Heeseung still holding you down, his pretty lips back on your thighs and stomach, as he waited out your high with you. 

“So pretty,” he murmured, looking at you with lovesick eyes. 

With just a small blunt that barely got any of you high, Heeseung managed to get you just halfway where he needed you. Obviously, he’d rather have you on your knees in front of him, tears filling up your eyes as he pushed your head further down his cock, but this was enough to satisfy him, for now. 

He was peeling apart your innocence slowly, but surely, and his ego was never higher. 

______

It’s been a long time since you’ve talked to Aeri Uchinaga. 

Aeri, or how everyone liked to call her, Giselle, was one of your closest friends from the “lower class” school you used to go to. She was like a sister to you, the only ‘family’ you ever truly had in your life.

You promised yourself to never let go of your values and never let your relationship with Aeri falter, but both of those things went down the drain a long long time ago. 

Seeing the messages between the two of you lose all their momentum, become less frequent, and come down to ‘How’s Saint Matthews’ or ‘How are you holding up over there?’ frightened you. 

Would she even want to talk to you? Would she pick up if you called? Would she care? 

“I don’t know. Maybe I should just let it go?” you said, scrolling through all the messages you and Aeri shared over the past month, noticing how you could probably count them with two hands. 

Heeseung hummed, turning away from his calculus worksheets “I think if she cared enough she’d reach out. She should understand you're busy with your new life and be the first one to initiate conversations and all” 

It was partially true. Why should you be the only one to care and keep the friendship going? She should also try more, shouldn't she? 

“I’ve known her for years, Hee. I can't just let go that easily” you murmured, and he scoffed quietly. 

“But you have me now, isn't that enough?” he asked, his expression emotionless. 

Heeseung didn't even realize his words came out much more arrogantly than he intended. 

“I know, I’m sorry” you looked down “I just still want her to be in my life, that’s all” he hummed in approval, finding it annoying, the way your words implied like he wasn’t satisfying you in every sector. 

Jay, who sat opposite of you in the study hall, sighed ostentatiously. 

“Then just text her? I don't see the issue, seriously” he commented, pulling one of his airpods out of his ear, apparently tired of hearing you complain about such an ‘easy matter’. 

“It’s not that easy, Jay” Sunghoon mumbled, not taking his eyes off the work in front of him. 

Jay gave him a questioning look, deciding not to continue the conversation, way too tired for another fight with Sunghoon. 

Sunghoon had been behaving awfully weird ever since the fight at the apartment. He suddenly felt the need to comment on everything slightly negative that Jay or anyone else said towards you. That was one of the primal reasons for the group's continuous fighting. 

“Let’s get out of here” Heeseung turned to you after a moment of uncomfortable silence. 

You nodded reluctantly, still not finished with the stacks of papers you had to complete by tonight. But you could never deny Lee Heeseung. Not with the way his eyes glare at you intensely, and definitely not with the way his hand grips yours tightly, pulling you away from the table, not leaving a second for goodbyes. Not like you’d want to fakely smile at Park Jongseong with a wave; you fucking hated his guts. 

“You’re being weird today” you notice, his body facing away from you, pulling you towards an unknown destination. 

You still haven't fully addressed the lingering tension that stuck to you after what happened. But since Heeseung didn't bother mentioning it, you decided that it probably would be better to leave it at that. Sex, with all the ways it came in, was normal, and you were sooo normal about it too. 

“I’m not” 

Heeseung couldn't avoid the growing pain in his heart, recalling whatever the fuck he did back at his house, seemingly starting to realize that it probably wasn't something he needed to do, but something he wanted to do. 

For fucks sake, he never came out with the initiative to eat a girl out, and he most definitely never just left it at that, not even getting his dick wet in the process. 

The usually loud and bustling atmosphere of the student common space seemed to be gone, the bean bags and couches empty, no student in hindsight. 

“I just can't be around them anymore,” he added after a rather long moment, sitting down with a thud on one of the black couches. 

“Did you fight again?” you asked, placing yourself down next to him, your hands almost automatically finding their way to his own. 

“You could say that” he chuckled, recalling how Jake once again brought up your topic, which led to yet another heated discussion. 

“You should talk to them, this has been happening way too much recently” you ushered, and he shook his head with another small laugh. 

“They are most definitely not those kinds of people. Don't think I've had a serious conversation with them like ever”

Heeseung, Jake, Jay and Sunghoon have been friends for quite a long time now, especially Heeseung and Jay, and their lack of communication was astonishing. Every fight would be brushed off, they’d just pretend nothing happened and laugh it off. Every hard decision would have to be made individually because asking for advice was pointless. It wasn't easy with them and Heeseung knew that. 

“Either way, I’m happy you talk to me about it, maybe it can ease your mind just a little” you smiled, and he reciprocated, looking at you. 

“Yeah, it does help” he confirmed, and leaned back. 

Heeseung lived by night. As soon as the sun set it was as if his sins were disguised. So he hated the way his mind was slowly coming to the realization that the stupid plan he made was set for disaster the moment he sought out for you in the morning. 

“Do you want to come over after classes?” he asked, playing with the hem of your skirt, the seemingly innocent action making your heart flutter nervously. 

“I’m over there almost everyday” you laugh, and so does he, a snide smile on his lips. 

“You know your fate then” he says, his hand still inching closer, the public space that surrounded you having no effect on him. 

“Why are your parents never home?” you ask, and he finds it humorous in a way. Obviously owners of a multimillion company would never find time to spend back at home with their adult sons. 

The difference between you and Heeseung was that you knew your parents wouldn't be there to welcome you home everyday. You knew it was impossible. Heeseung could only suspect or assume, because his parents had given up on telling him when they’ll return from a business trip a long time ago. 

“They’re busy, I guess” he said, with a small sigh “Or at least they pretend to be, I wouldn't be shocked if the multiple business trips were just vacations” he laughed, his gaze falling onto you again. 

“At least you have your brother there” you smiled and he chuckled, he most definitely did not have a brother in reality. 

“Honestly, if he wasn't there it wouldn't make much of a difference” Heeseung sighed, and even though he’s gotten used to the relationship he shared with his brother, it still saddened him in a way. 

“It’s about the company, right?” you asked, and he nodded with a chuckle. 

“Smart girl” he cooed, ruffling your hair softly. You laughed, and shoved his hand off playfully. 

It wasn’t so hard to assume after all. What else could rich siblings be fighting over, who gets to sit in the passenger seat? Who gets to have the last slice of pizza? That's so fucking humorous. He was fighting with his brother over millions and a couple more millions, and didn’t even realize how materialistic and stupid that sounded to someone like you. 

Heeseung pulled your body closer to his, feeling an otherworldly connection course through his veins as you gave away your warmth to him. And how much tighter did you need to be pressed against each other before he finally admitted that he wasn't doing this for warmth. 

How many times did his thumb have to press against the edge of your mouth for him to realize he's gone too far?

“Did you hear that Sunghoon broke up with Wonyoung?” he asked, his body melting into yours with every passing second. 

You looked at him with wide eyes, but on another note, you would be lying if you said you didn't expect it. And it most definitely didn't shock you that Sunghoon was the one to initiate it. 

“Why?” you asked, even though it wasn't a hard deduction to make yourself.

“I think me and you both know why” he huffed, a hint of humor lacing his tone “Honestly good for him, that girl is insufferable” 

“Oh I know” you agreed, and he smiled “Go easy on him, still” 

“I'll try my best” he rolled his eyes playfully “We should definitely throw him a celebration party” Heeseung inquired and you chuckled. 

“Is that really something he’s celebrating, or just us?” you asked and he smiled. 

Sunghoon was so incredibly hard to read, and knowing if the breakup is impacting him negatively or positively was something nobody would ever know. 

“It’ll still help him get back up on his feet, if he even needs to” he replied, and you nodded smiling. 

You had no idea about the status between you and Heeseung. Things happened, and things were most definitely still happening, you both knew it, but nothing changed within the label itself. But then again, you took Heeseung as the type that didn't like labeling things. 

Of course you wanted to be his girlfriend. You wanted people to start knowing you by “Lee Heeseungs girlfriend”, not “Broke Transfer” or “Poor Scholar”. 

You relied heavily on Heeseung. He was like your life support in the walls of this school. He helped you make decisions and was there for you whenever you needed him. He felt just like flying too close to the sun, and it was addictive. You knew that very well. 

He truly was the only person you had. And well, you assumed that maybe calling Aeri isn't that good of an idea.

 Well, that’s what Heeseung agrees with anyway. 

__________ 

You were so out of it. 

You had told Eunseok that you’ll be staying the night at a new friend's house, but would he really care if he were to find out you’d actually be getting shit faced at a massive house party in a mansion you didn’t really know the owner of. 

Probably not. 

The music was so loud you could barely register the words Kim Sunoo spoke to you so enthusiastically. You had come here expecting to spend some time with Heeseung, but no matter how much you wanted to go look for him, the never ending white hallways that led to countless guest bedrooms frightened you. 

From your comfortable position on the couch, you could spot Sunghoon’s lonely figure at one of the tables. He was supposed to be the main attraction, the whole event centered around his new found freedom, but it seemed like everyone around him was having much more fun than him. 

You quickly waved off Sunoo, unsure of what he truly was going on about for the past 10 minutes, heading towards Sunghoon. 

“Are you okay?” You asked without having to shout in the boy's face, finding the corner he sat in much quieter. 

He looked startled, he didn't catch the moment where you came to him “I’m fine” Sunghoon replied swiftly, blinking a few times. 

You found it cute. 

“Why are you alone? Where is everyone” you asked him another question and for the first time you saw him smile so sweetly. 

He always had the same emotionless expression on his face, conversations with him felt like a punishment. Seeing him like this made your knees weak, a slight pain in your heart as you wondered what he was thinking about. 

“I hoped you’d tell me that” he said, his small smile never fading. 

You chuckled “I thought all this was supposed to be for you” 

He shook his head with a laugh “I never wanted any of this. They just used my situation as an excuse to get black out drunk, I guess” 

Even though it was sad, he never stopped smiling at you. His head rested on his knuckles, his eyes twinkling as his gaze was focused on you. 

“That’s rude” you inquired, and he laughed again, but this time it much more resembled a scoff. 

“Heeseung has done and is doing things much worse” he murmured, and even though the music was still very much blasting through the speakers, you heard him.  

You thought about it before questioning him again. Did you even want to know? Or are some things better left unspoken. 

“Like?” you finally said, and that’s when Sunghoon went quiet. 

With a thud he slammed his glass on the table, and stood up. He nodded his head towards one of the rooms at the end of the hallway signaling for you to follow him. He extended one of his hands towards you, and with the smallest bit of hesitation you took it, allowing him to lead you towards the space. 

Park Sunghoon looked so beautiful that night. His ivory skin glowed under the bright, colorful lights, his gaze was so piercing, and his lips just begged to be kissed. The pair of glasses hanging off his nose complemented his white fitted dress shirt, and his black pants showed off his perfectly long legs. You saw a different side of him and didn’t exactly like the way it made you feel. 

He closed the door behind you after assuring that the two of you would be alone. He didn’t know why he was doing this, why he was betraying one of his closest friends. 

But he thought about it all the time. He couldn’t get peace of mind. He couldn’t let his heart hurt for you, watching you fall for a fraudulent man that didn’t deserve someone as loyal and caring as you. 

“What is going on Sunghoon?” you asked, standing above him, as he placed himself on the leather couch with a sigh. 

“I know you like him, I know you believe everything he says and I know you won’t like what I’m about to say” he started explaining, and the suspense was killing you “But he’s not the guy you think he is. You’re not the first one, Y/n” 

“What the fuck do you mean I’m not the first one Sunghoon. First, what?” 

He was trying to stay calm, but you were already getting annoyed and he hasn’t even dropped the real bomb on you. 

Sunghoon thought about it for a second. Was using Pham Hanni a good example or should he reach deeper inside his mind to find another person Heeseung has used to fulfill his own perverted and psychotic desires. 

“I mean you’re not the first girl he has used this way” he uttered without looking at you, too scared to see your expression. 

Were you scared? Or were you mad? Hurt or in disbelief? 

You didn’t respond, letting the silence devour the two of you for a moment. 

“Please say something, Y/n” he whispered, grabbing your hand. 

His hands were cold, his fingers long and ivory. His touch was so smooth, and welcoming. He managed to pull you down next to him, yet you still couldn’t slip a word out of your mouth. He wondered if you’d ever reply or if you would just sit there, forever, next to him in silence. 

He’d like that. He’d like that more than he should. He was already betraying his friend, but his heart still wanted more. He wanted you to be more. 

“Why are you telling me about this, Sunghoon?” you finally said, and he looked at you, his gaze softening. 

“Because I like you” he said, his gaze falling to your intertwined hands “And I can’t stand looking at you getting lied to like this” he added after a short moment. 

It didn’t hit you when he said it. It felt like a moment that passed by quickly, it felt like it wasn’t anything significant. But looking at him, feeling the coldness radiate off of him, and feeling his scent made you realize he actually said it. 

“Don’t say that, Hoon” when the usage of his nickname slipped off your tongue, and he knew you didn’t mean it. 

He knew you felt it too, you just couldn’t say it, right? There was this invisible string tying you tightly to Heeseung’s grip, holding you back from giving into him. You wanted to. You’ve always wanted to, and so did he. From the moment he saw you, standing there with Wonyoung on your first day. 

Neither of you moved, caught in each other's closeness, both aware of it, both unsure. 

Sunghoon’s slender fingers grazed your jaw, softly pulling you to face him. His lips were slightly parted, and you could feel his breath, laced with alcohol and cigarettes. His gaze was heavy on yours and you could feel your heart racing in your throat- but you couldn’t pull away. 

He traced the curve of your jaw, his hand slipping down to your throat. His grip was firm, his lips grazing over the edge of yours. 

‘Tell me to stop” he whispered, smiling when he only heard a faint breath slip from your mouth. “Tell me and I will” he smiled against your cheek. 

“I want you so bad” he murmured, his voice low “You don’t even know” His nose was pressing against your cheek, his breath hot on your skin. You could feel him all over you. 

All at once, the restraint you had, faded away. His back fell to the soft padding of the couch, your legs straddling his lap, keeping him still and open for you. A slow smile tugged at the corner of his lips, eyes dark and hooded. 

His hands slipped down to your lower back, pulling you in closer, skin to skin. You felt dizzy, his mouth eating at your neck, his teeth grazing your skin. He grabbed your waist tightly, moving you back and forth on his growing bulge. 

His hands moved up to your jaw as you rode his clothed crotch without his assistance. 

You felt shivers down your spine, an uncontrollable force pushing you for more. You wanted him whole, completely forgetting about the boy that was somewhere in this house, laughing with his friends. 

But you didn’t want him to stop, finally closing the last breath of distance between you and Sunghoon, pressing your lips to his. 

The kiss was sloppy, he met you with even more eagerness, your hand moving down to his chest, feeling his carved muscles against your fingertips. His tongue pried your mouth for entrance, deeping the connection between you. He held you as if he had been waiting forever for this moment, holding your body firm against his own. 

You pulled away, your faces inches apart, your forehead resting against his. Your lips coated in his saliva, trying to catch your breath, he looked at you with so much passion and longing. 

The regret started to settle in, but you couldn’t move away, even when his fingers caressed your cheek, you leaned into it. 

“You should be with me,” he whispered, a hint of desperation coating his voice “We’d be so good together, I’d make you feel so good” he added, his hand slipping past the band of your small skirt. 

“Sunghoon” you breathed out, your face falling to the crook of his neck as he played with the material of your underwear. 

“You were made for me to love, let me please” he pleaded, his breath shaky. 

You could feel his soft touch caressing your skin, his erection firmly against your clothed heat, it all felt like a dream. If you looked at him, it would all become real again. 

“We shouldn't” you said, your words muffled by the silky material of his dress shirt. 

He heard you, he didn't want you to stop, he was so desperate to have you, he wanted to show you just how much better he was than Heeseung. 

“It’s not wrong when he doesn't know” he took your jaw into his fingers, forcing you to look at him. You looked so pretty and innocent, your lipstick slightly smeared around your lips. 

Sunghoon pressed his hungry lips against yours once again, and you complied with his movements. The kiss was messy, sloppy, and at that point, he lost any control that was left in his body. 

Dazed, he didn't even hear the door jerk open. Neither did you, focused on his lips that have moved down to your neck once again. 

“What the fuck is this?” a familiar male voice shouted angrily, causing you to pull out of Sunghoon’s touch, scared to look at the man standing in the doorway. You knew it was him. 

“Heeseung” Sunghoon murmured, his eyes wide as the realization started to settle in. He stood up from the couch, walking towards the boy who looked like a ticking time bomb. 

You sighed, hands in your hair, no words left to be spoken. You felt nothing, Sunghoon’s touch still lingering on your skin, and Heeseung’s words in the air. 

“Calm down, Heeseung” Sunghoon said softly, still unsure of the situation that surrounded him. 

Instead of that, he got hit with a punch to his face, harshly stumbling backwards, his back pressing against the glass table. He touched his cheek, the sensation causing him to flinch. He could feel the taste of blood in his mouth. 

“I’m sorry” he said, looking down, spitting into the glass cup that someone left on the table. 

Heeseung smiled seeing his friend's reddish saliva slide down the walls of the glass. 

You stayed quiet, hoping the same fate wasn't waiting for you. You wanted to disappear, already creating the monologue you’d spill out to Eunseok as soon as you came home. ‘Please, I need to go back to my old school’ you’d plead until he’d finally give in. 

“I’m sure you are, Hoonie” he chuckled, slapping his forearm, taking the cup from his hand “I’m sure you regret it, don’t you” he looked intently at his friend who was struggling to keep eye contact. 

Heeseung slammed the cup on the floor, the glass shattering across the wooden panels, causing both you and Sunghoon to flinch. 

Sunghoon nodded his head, trying to stand up straight, but failing miserably as Heeseung kicked his lower abdomen with his knee. 

“You think it’s okay to mess with your friends girl behind his back?” he asked, holding Sunghoon’s bleeding jaw in his fingers “Is it?” 

“No” Sunghoon spat out, looking at Heeseung with his watery eyes, the pain in his stomach unbearable. 

“Heeseung, please stop, just stop it” you pleaded, looking up at him from teary eyes, unable to watch anymore “I came onto him, it’s all my fault” you lied, trying to somehow fix what was already broken. 

“Is that true” his gaze shifted back and forth from you to Sunghoon, waiting for one of you to give him a straight answer. 

You nodded ferociously, while Sunghoon kept his gaze plastered on the floor. 

“Get out” he turned to his vunerable friend, his lips dripping in blood, his hand holding onto his stomach. 

The view didn't move him one bit. 

Sunghoon looked at him and then at you, stumbling on his way to the door, slamming it shut when he finally managed to exit. 

“You came onto him, yeah? Did you like it?” he chuckled, a devilish grin on his face as he looked at you, so fragile and afraid of him. 

“I’m sorry Hee, I wasn't thinking straight” you explained, mentally preparing for him to strike you at any given moment now. 

You should be the one asking for an apology, he should be the one saying sorry for using you. 

“Get up” he ordered, extending his hand to you. You looked at him sheepishly, his dark figure standing over you. 

You obeyed, taking his cold hand, frightened a little bit by his intimidating and unpredictable behavior. He led you to the bathroom that was placed just across from the couch you were making out with Sunghoon on, stopping in front of the sink. 

He looked at you through the mirror, his lips falling to your ear “Spit” 

“What?” you asked, your voice cracking. 

“You heard me the first time” he said sternly, his gaze never falling from your eyes. 

“W-why?” you mumbled, and his small smile dropped. 

His fingers squeezed your waist painfully, his other hand shoving your face down towards the sink “When I tell you to do something, you do it” he groaned, and with your eyes shut, you completed his order. 

“Wash your mouth” he ordered after a moment, his body pressing against your ass as he held your head in place “Wash all that’s left of him” 

You just listened to every word he said. He let go of your hair, letting you look at yourself again. Heeseung smiled, his hands wandering from your waist to the band of your skirt. 

“Did you like it when Sunghoon touched you here? Did you feel taken care of? Tell me, pretty girl” his hand slipped down lower, his fingers easily slipping past your panties, hovering over your core. 

“I asked you a question” he said more sternly, as you refused to reply to him, your brain fixated on the feeling of his fingers on you. 

“I liked it,” you replied truthfully, and he smiled. 

“You like when my friends take care of you, don’t you? You’d let Jay fuck you, you’d blow Jake if he asked, wouldn't you?” he asked, and you winced at his words, the sound mixing with the way his fingers played with you. 

“But you’d come back to me. You’d come back all swollen from their house to me. Cause you love me” he said, and you nodded, your hips riding his hand that was buried deep in your underwear. 

“Want me to fuck you now? Show you who you actually belong to?” he whispered in your ear sweetly, his fingers still teasing your entrance. 

“Yes” you managed to utter. Your heart was pounding so hard, a part of you craving Heeseung’s touch, while another one trembled with fear. 

He turned you around, you could finally face him. His eyes were dark, his anger mingling in the air. His lips were wet with desire. 

“Playing with my best friend, making me watch, you loved it, didn't you baby?” he laughed, his hand escaping your skirt, finding its way to your hips. He pressed himself against you, his hands wandering under your top. 

“You’ll get what you want, don’t worry” he smiled, his fingers caressing your lips “That pussy wouldn't give it to you anyway” he laughed, catching you in a sloppy kiss. 

“Get on your knees, baby” he said, his tone soft, a caring facade covering his internal rage. 

You nodded, softly, sliding down to your knees in front of him. The dimly lit space made him look so beautiful, his harsh words leaving with Sunghoon a while ago. 

“You can take it right?” he asked, unbuckling his belt, the material of his black dress pants brushing against your skin as he slid them down. 

You felt a mix of nervousness and anticipation as he teased you, palming himself through his boxers. You could see his pulsing erection, the way his face twisted as he continued stimulating himself. 

“You wanna see, huh? Dirty girl, you love every second of this” he laughed, his voice laced with innuendo. 

Finally, with one hand he slid down his underwear, freeing his thick, hard cock. It slapped against his sculpted torso, and he smiled seeing your face light up. 

“You like what you see, yeah? So fucking hard just for you” he asked with amusement, grabbing your jaw. 

You nodded, finally being able to see him whole, raw in front of you. 

He was now completely exposed before you, fully vulnerable and at your mercy.

“Good. Feel how hard I am for you. Touch me” he said, his eyes never leaving yours. 

You reached out tentatively, unsure of your actions, your cold fingers wrapping around his rigid shaft, coating its surface with his arousal as you slowly stroked him. He was hot and pulsing with his heartbeat. 

He groaned “Yeah, like that” his eyes closed with pleasure instinctively “Now put it in your pretty mouth” he ordered after a moment. 

You leaned forward, as he pulled your hair aside, twirling it in his palm. Your breath tickled his tip, his teeth gritting as he watched you open your mouth for him, and wrap your sweet lips around the head of his cock. 

He groaned, your warm mouth hugging him reluctantly. You could taste his bittersweet pre-cum on your toungue, the sensation of his hardness making shivers go down your spine. Your head began to move deeper down his length, finding it difficult to fit all of him inside you. 

“Fuck, s’good, suck me nice and slow just like that” he moaned, slightly pushing your head down his cock. He could see the tears forming in your eyes, and it made him twitch in your mouth. 

You did as he instructed, taking your time with him, finding the spots that made him react the most, teasing his sensitive underside. Hollowing your cheeks, going faster, Heeseung’s grip on you only tightening with every movement. 

You looked so helpless and lost, your mouth full of him. He fought to keep quiet, his other hand gripping the counter, his chest heaving unevenly. Your head bobbed up and down, sending jolts of pleasure through his body. 

“Fuck, keep going, I’m close” he whined, his lips parted as he guided you back and forth on his length. 

His cock twitched, your movements becoming sloppier as you awaited his climax. You could feel him deep down in your throat, the feeling accompanied by his intense breathing and hoarse moans. His hand gripped your hair tightly, he began to thrust gently, fucking your mouth with slow, deliberate strokes.  

“I’m gonna cum, fuck” his voice was strained, his heart racing in his chest “Gonna cum in your mouth, take my load baby” 

He groaned, his warm, thick cum spilling all over your tongue, Heeseung’s body shuddering as he emptied his load down your throat.  

“Swallow it,” he said, his breath shaky as he rode out his high. 

He pulled out after a moment, his cock glistening with your saliva and his juices. 

“You’re so perfect” he breathed out, still trying to steady himself “Get up, sweet girl” he instructed, and with an ache to your knees you managed to get up. 

His lips hurried to connect with yours, tasting himself on your tongue. Your lips were so soft and wet, your eyes watery. He wiped a salty tear that slipped from your eye. The look on your face took him back to the day he first met you, so pretty and untouched. 

“Let me make you feel good now” he whispered, guiding you to the bed, his pants and boxers left abandoned in the bathroom, as he got rid of his shirt while locking the door. 

He remembers just how much he fantasized about fucking you behind an unlocked door, hoping one of his sickly perverted friends walked in. But he no longer wanted to share you. 

He yearned for you, needed you just like the flesh that wanted to knit itself back together after a fresh wound. His desire was so primal, so intuitive. He was peeling his skin back, the layers slowly unfolding before your eyes. 

“Undress for me” he waited, his eyes tracing your every move, his body shivering as he watched you. 

If you were ready, he wanted to make you shiver like that too. 

You pulled down your black skirt, squeezing your thighs together as you were left only in your underwear. He came towards you, helping with your top half. He puts your hands up, the material gliding against your shaky skin. The fabric falls to the floor with a small thud, leaving you bare for him to adore. 

He stood back, admiring the beauty of the girl in front of him. He regretted every spoken word at that moment, every curse, every joke and everything that led up to this moment. 

Those words stained his mouth like a pomegranate, the lingering sensation still on his tongue as he took you in. 

Heeseung’s lips crashed down on yours, his shivering hands roaming down to your enclosed thighs, spreading you open enough for his fingers to slide through. He explored you with rough urgency, his mind blank as he focused on you and only you. 

He moved you down to sit on his lap, his hard on pressing against your ass. He trailed hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck to your chest. Desperation sat heavily on his tongue. 

“You’re so pretty, all mine, all this is for me” he mumbled into your skin, his fingers digging at your hips. Your teeth grit, hands pulling his dark hair. 

Heeseung was so hungry for you. Hungry for your lips, your flesh, your bones that he wanted to intertwine with his. He was so drunk on love. 

His hand slipped down your body, his thumb circling small circles on your clothed heat. He felt the wetness seep through. 

He lifted you up, lying you down on the mattress swiftly. He situated himself in between your legs, his eyes scanning your body. You were such a pretty girl, so obedient and welcoming to him. You didn't protest, just did what he asked you to.

“Heeseung, please..” you whispered, and he could feel his heartbeat speed up “I want you inside me” he was amused by your eagerness, the way you were so direct with your words. 

“Sweet girl” he murmured, his fingers hooking the band of your pretty pink underwear “So fucking ready for me” 

He looked at you one last time, his fingers pulling at your panties, and with a nod to your head, he rolled the fabric down your legs, throwing it next to his abandoned shirt. 

“Already this wet?” he raised an eyebrow questioningly “I barely even touched you” a smirk adorned his lips.

He could come just by looking at you, your greed only fueling his own desire to fuck the shit out of you. But he'd hurt you, wouldn't he? 

Heeseung’s heart was racing just from the sight of you, his body reacting instantly to the view in front of him. His breath came out in ragged gasps, his pretty blue veins popping out from under his skin. 

He aligned himself with you, coating his length with your arousal. His throbbing cock glided in between your folds, your body trembling at the new feeling, as heavy breaths slipped from your mouth. His tip nudged against your entrance, your heart racing. You had never felt anyone this closely, and nothing made you more excited than it being Heeseung after all. 

“I won’t hurt you, yeah?” he laughed, his tone low “You think you can take it?” he teased, his tip slipping in and out, each time going just a little further. 

“Mhm” you nodded your head, looking at him with your mouth slightly parted. 

He leaned down to squeeze your cheeks “Yeah? And you won't cry?” you attempted to nod again, but his grip on you was firm. You just blinked eagerly, and he chuckled, shaking his head.

His tone was inciting, it could almost seem as if he was making fun of you. Yet no other man had ever made you feel so wanted, so good. No man has ever touched you like Heeseung did. 

He pressed you down underneath him, holding onto your lower back, his lips wandering all over your damp skin, His touch was rushed, he wanted this just as much as you. 

“Ready?” he asked, stroking himself, his gaze glued to you. You breathed out a short conformation, grabbing into his arm that flexed under your touch. 

Heeseung nodded, his eyes dark with desire and need. His hands were shaking, his body trembling with the effort of restraint. 

He grabbed onto your leg, and with a slow movement, buried himself deep inside you. You gasped, pleading for your body to adjust to the sudden invasion. Heeseung’s cock filled you completely, stretching you out in a way you’d never experienced before. He didn't move, waiting for the look of discomfort to wipe off your face. 

You had wanted this. You waited impatiently for Heeseung to take away the one sacred thing you owned- your virginity. You wanted him to be the man that gets to have you first, the love and thirst for him overpowering any rational thoughts. 

“Fucking tight” he breathed out, as his head fell back, a low, gutteral moan escaping his lips as he continued to move, his body conusmed by the sheer pleasure. 

It didn't take him a long time to bottom out, groans falling from his slightly parted lips. The pain of his thickness was almost exciting, your nails digging at his skin, eyelids becoming heavy. His cock buldged in your stomach, making him moan out loud with no sense of embarrassment. 

Your walls gripped onto his length “Feels s'good, shit” his thrusts were slow and delicate, not wanting to break your fragile frame “See this, so fucking deep inside you” he took your hand and pressed it down on your stomach so you could feel him. 

“Does it feel nice?” he kissed your neck, his face hugging the side of yours as he picked up his pace.

You turned to look at him “It d-does” you whispered. 

He rammed into you, his strokes becoming more frequent and sloppy. His face twisted with pleasure, a stream of euphonious sounds slipped from your lips, powering his own arousal. The music slightly entered the room through the shut door, the sound of skin slapping and heavy breaths overpowering it.

“That’s it, baby” his hands gripped your hips as you moved with him in sync, his body almost automatically responding to any of your movements. Your breathing became increasingly uneven and ragged “Just like that, just like that” 

“Fuck, Heeseung” you struggled for breath, his pace becoming infernal. 

His eyes ran down your body like never before, his face looking down at you intently, almost like a wolf looking down on its prey. His fingers continued to grab onto anything he managed, his mind going blank as the sound of your cries filled his ears. 

The sight and sensation drived you further into ecstasy, his warmth so strong on your skin. You couldn't help the pleasure, a small, salty tear escaping your glossy eyes. 

He leaned down, capturing your mouth in a desperate, rough kiss, his body shaking with need. He broke the kiss, his lips trailing down your neck, his breath coming out in ragged gasps. His thumb wiped down the tear from your cheek, his eyes hooded as he stared down at you, analyzing the state he had put you in. 

“You’re so perfect, so perfect for me” he whispered, his body on fire, every fiber of his being consumed by the overwhelming ecstasy of being inside you, of feeling you beneath him. 

Your moans become guttural, body shuddering with overwhelming pleasure at his words, at the thought of having him like this all the time. 

“I’m so in love with you, fuck” he breathed out, his heart pounding in his chest. 

He knew he was in too deep, knew that he couldn't stop this even if he wanted to, not when he felt like this, burried so fucking deep inside you. 

“I’m close” you managed to articulate, your voice strained. 

Heeseung nods, his body feeling like he’s on the edge, too. He speeds up his movements, his cock pounding into your tired core at an almost demonic pace. His own senses are overwhelmed by you, his mind and body consumed with desire and pleasure. 

He gasps, his mouth moving down to your chest “I’m close too. Just a little more, you can do it. Just a little more” his voice a low, raspy whisper. 

You grip his hand tightly, a low moan escaping your lips as Heeseung pushes himself closer to the edge. You were hanging on by a thread, desperate for release, desperate for him. 

“I can’t hold back” he groaned, his thighs shaking, control slipping him completely “I’m going to fill you up so deep with my cum, baby. Don’t move” 

Heeseung took your heart, his mouth stained red. He kisses you with that mouth, he’s all over you again. He can no longer control himself, each movement throwing him over the edge, his own bravery breaking as you look so much sweeter and smaller under him. 

With one last thrust, his body shuddered as he shot his load of cum inside your pulsating walls. His body collapsed on top of you, his eyes closed as he tried to catch his breath. He continued to move inside you, his fingers holding onto your body, helping you chase your own high. 

You close your eyes, releasing your own arousal on his length. Your body shivers and arches beneath him. He groans against your neck, gripping your hip tighter, his own body trembling with pleasure and exertion. 

He buries his face into your neck, his breathing slowly starting to even out after a few moments. He can feel your breathing start to even out under him as you came down from your own climax. He held you close, letting the waves of otherworldly pleasure wash over the both of you.

“You were so good” he whispers, his voice still laced with a hint of breathlessness “I love you, so much. I love you so much it hurts” 

He couldn’t help it. Those three words have never fallen from his lips, and this time he couldn't blame it on the slip of his tongue. Every bone in his body, his flesh, his tissue, the sinews that bound him together, it flowed in his veins- the uncontrollable desire to love you. 

His words struck you to the core. It felt so real, Sunghoon’s confession long gone as you couldn't help but reciprocate his words. With the way he cared for you, it couldn't be true. Heeseung wouldn't use you, he loved you, and you loved him. 

 You look down at him, and this time he looks much less scary. His eyes aren't so dark and hooded, his hair is messy, and his lips are puffed out.

It’s been so long since you first saw him, your mind completely swapping the first impression he made on you, to something much sweeter and beautiful. You remembered him so well, he was your precious, doe-eyed baby deer. He was never wrong, he was never the bad guy. 

The world turned on him, he was innocent. He didn't have a drinking problem, he wasn't smoking too much, he just gave into his teenage curiosity. 

He continues to lay on top of you, arms wrapping around you, his face buried into your neck. He takes a deep breath, inhaling your scent, savoring the feeling of you beneath him. 

“I’m sorry, baby” he whispers, his voice laced with a hint of shame and regret. “I’m so sorry” he repeats and you look at him, confused. 

“What? Is everything okay?” you ask, caressing his hair, twirling small pieces in your fingers “You're scaring me” 

He sighs, his heart breaking “Sunghoon was right. I told him to do it. I told him to tell you the truth” 

taglist: @deobitifull @yunhoswrldddd @parksunghoonsgf @itgirlalisaa @alienqbrain @cyjhhyj @missycheif1404

[wwandaslover]

STRANGERS | W.M

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x F! Reader

Warnings: A bit angsty, swearing, fighting, short little fic bc I’ve been gone too long

Summary: Wanda’s trying to get her boys back and Doctor Strange comes to you for help, trying to get you to kill your ex wife. Wanda’s not happy that you’re in the way.

You had been living your life as peacefully as you could ever since Thanos. You quit using magic, you moved across the country to Oregon. It was lonely.. but it was calm. You appreciated no longer having to put yourself under such immense stress, no longer fighting people and aliens, no longer worrying about stupid diets, no longer constantly feeling like you were going to die. It was amazing to be alone despite how boring it was.

You had heard about Westview from the news not long after moving to Oregon, and though it worried you to hear that Wanda was getting to such a horrible point, you couldn’t get involved and part of you didn’t want to. You and Wanda did not end on good terms, Wanda broke your heart. You were staying out of all of that shit, you were finally getting your well deserved lull.

It grew harder to not try and help Wanda the more you heard about her, you were constantly worrying about her wellbeing. Then to your luck, Doctor Strange showed up at your doorstep asking for help and disrupting your peace, telling you he had gone to Wanda and found out she’d been corrupted by the Darkhold, trying to kill America Chavez to go to her sons in another universe. It took him very little time to convince you to help.

He needed your help since you were one of the most powerful magic wielders, yet still not anywhere near Wanda’s level. Despite being stronger than you, Wanda couldn’t absorb your magic when used on her or it could kill her, you were a Green Witch. You wielded earthly magic while Wanda wielded chaos magic, and Strange wanted you to trick her into trying to absorb your magic.

You refused to kill the woman you had loved so dearly, instead you promised to help her. You wanted her to be happy and no longer hurt so much, despite how much you hated her for what she did to you.

+

Standing at Kamar Taj, seeing the dead bodies of sorcerers lying on the ground after Wanda used her magic to kill them all, seeing her walk over them like nothing.. it hurt you to see her now a shell of the woman she once was. Wanda stared at you with an icy glare as she stepped closer, annoyed that you were blocking her path to America.

Wanda laughed dryly “Of course, you’re the one they bring to stop me.”

You took a deep breath, swallowing thickly. Part of you wanted to hug her and the other wanted to punch her as hard as possible. You spoke calmly, “Wanda, I’m here to help you end this madness. I don’t want to fight you.”

Wanda hummed “I’m sure you don’t. You’d rather not die, I’m sure.”

You scoffed softly “I doubt you want to either.”

Wanda sighed in annoyance “You’re right, what I want is my sons. Now get out of my way.” She began stepping closer and you used your powers to push her back.

Wanda snarled and threw blasts of energy at you which you managed to dodge by a hair. Wanda lunged at you and grabbed you by the throat, squeezing your airways shut. You gasped and coughed, gripping her wrist, your eyes wide and full of shock. You kicked her harshly and Wanda instinctively let go.

Wanda stumbled back and shouted at you, “You little bitch, get out of my way!”

You coughed into your arm, glaring at her. Once your throat hurt a little less you shouted back, your voice slightly hoarse “Fuck you! You’re the one acting like a bitch!”

Wanda scoffed “You sound like a petulant child.”

You rolled your eyes at that, annoyed by Wanda’s comments “I have no idea how I put up with you for half a decade.”

Wanda raised a brow “You never complained about me when we were together, so I must’ve been alright.” Wanda pushed you aside and began walking inside the temple.

You caught her wrist and tried to pull her back but it didn’t quite work how you wanted it to, instead she simply dragged you along with her. After a few seconds Wanda looked back at you in annoyance. “Wh- are you seriously not going to let go of me? You know I’m just going to keep dragging you with me.”

You shrugged and tightened your grip on her wrist, trying to plant your feet on the ground but they simply slid over the stones as she dragged you. You got irritated by how your efforts fell flat, so you opted for tackling her. The two of you fell together and Wanda shouted, looking up at you “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

You couldn’t help but laugh as you held her down and Wanda was distraught by the sweet sound. It had been a long time since you laughed like that around her. Wanda swallowed thickly and tried to speak angrily, but sounded more nervous than anything, “Quit laughing! What’s so funny?”

You shook your head, still laughing softly at the situation. “This is all so stupid..”

Wanda’s jaw clenched and she quickly became angry again, mad that you had called it all stupid when she was struggling “I’m trying to get my sons back, how is that stupid?”

You furrowed your eyebrows, your laughter dying out. “I’m not saying that you losing your kids is stupid, I’m saying us fighting is stupid. I also think you’re stupid for believing this’ll work, for believing those boys would just accept you as their mother when they already have one. I mean seriously, you can’t truly believe that they’ll immediately love you, or ever love you for that matter. This won’t go your way.”

Wanda roughly pushed you off and stood up, glaring down at you “Stay out of my way. I don’t want to hurt you.” She began walking away but you used your powers to throw her back to the ground, walking over to her.

“You are not killing that innocent girl! You have no right! She’s just a child, she doesn’t deserve to die, or to go through any of this! Think of how terrified she is!” You yelled at her, angered by her lack of humanity and remorse.

“I need my boys, you don’t understand! You aren’t going to stop me!” Wanda sat up and yelled back, her eyes tearing up. She didn’t want to kill anyone, or hurt anyone.. she just needed her boys.

You stared down at her, wide eyed and in disbelief of how she was acting. “Wanda, you can still have a family in this universe!”

Wanda scoffed and stood up, stepping closer to you “And how on earth would I do that? I lost Vision, I lost my boys, I lost everything!”

Your heart ached when Wanda brought up Vision but not you. You were her first love, and apparently the least important. You ignored your own feelings and spoke, “There’s still someone out there in the world for you, somebody you can love and have a family with.”

Wanda shook her head, wiping away her tears away with a scoff. “I don’t want anybody else, I don’t want other children. I can’t just replace Vision and my boys.”

God, you wanted to strangle her for acting like this. You wanted to be understanding, but she was making it so much harder than it needed to be.

You snapped at her “I’m trying to help you find happiness somewhere in this universe instead of giving up on a life here and ruining a different version of yourself’s life, so quit acting like a fucking idiot!”

Wanda stared at you with widened eyes, surprised that you had actually gotten angry at her. You were usually not the type to get mad, but when you did it was always hard to ignore.

Wanda muttered “Calm down, there’s no need to get so-“

You cut her off by yelling at her “You’re so goddamn selfish! You are condescending, controlling, possessive, overly protective, you are so infuriating and yet here I am trying to help you all because I care about you, and I still love you, but I also fucking hate you at the same time!”

Wanda sputtered slightly, her eyes still wide. Her expression was a mix of concern and shock, concerned because you were so upset, and shocked by what you had just said. You still loved her after four years of being apart.

“Are you serious?” Wanda scoffed. It had been years, you had to be over her. She didn’t want you to keep loving her, especially not after what she had done both to you and other people. She wasn’t a good person and you were.

You scoffed back, mocking her “Yes, obviously, I’m being serious. Can you quit being such a dick now?”

Wanda hated that you were still in love with her, she wanted you to move on and she wanted to move on as well. No matter how much she loved Vision he couldn’t fill the hole in her heart from leaving you. She didn’t feel worthy of your love, or your help, not after what she did. How she left you so heartbroken and then she just went and got together with Vision. She felt horrible for what she had done to you back then, and she felt horrible for leaving you again now, knowing she should immediately go back to you and mend your broken relationship, she could experience happiness for the first time in months, but she wouldn’t.

Wanda thought for a moment and decided to just ignore the whole situation, turning away and continuing to walk. “I’m going to get my boys back.” she muttered.

You watched her with now tearful eyes, your jaw clenched and your breathing turning shaky. You were done trying to help her. You shouted after her, “I’m going to finish this whether you come out dead or alive, Wanda!”

Wanda’s heart hurt from your words, but she kept walking. She still felt great love for you, but she needed Tommy and Billy. She needed them more than she needed anything else, even you. You knew that, and watching her disappear into the temple made your heart squeeze in your chest, you knew you had lost her but you weren’t going to give up on saving America from Wanda.

a decent amount of people have asked for part two and I kinda have an idea for part two, soo, go to my requests and ask to be put on the tag list, or ask in the comments.

[gen4grl]

my johto timeskip designs + bios/teams below!

i think about this group ALOT!!! if i had any confidence in writing i would easily share the whole hgss rewrite i have in my head but alas… just take my drawings instead! i like to give characters more “realistic” outfits… not really a modern au? i love to imagine the pokemon world with all our worlds pop culture which inspires my designs! long post but enjoy!!! ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

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⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

lyra + 20. champion ranked trainer

♡ Raised by her single mother, aunt and older cousin Kris in the small New Bark home. Her father died when she was 6 in a mining incident involving Team Rocket. Bubbles, her ace Azumarill, was gifted to Lyra by her father on her 5th birthday - being her final gift from him.

♡ Extremely outgoing, sweetly optimistic and immensely empathic. Absolutley loves making friends and talking to every kind of person. However, is extremely competitive & stubbon and gets frustrated easily - resulting in her giving up quickly but is also extremely quick to be re-motivated. Often feels the emotions of others intensely. Very country girl with an extremely strong Johtoian accent and lisp. Loves 'girly' things like makeup + fashion, period dramas and collecting nick-nacks but also loves spending her days outdoors, espcially in the National Park with Ethan watching the bug-catching contests or the Safari Zone.

♡ Struggled with her battle confidence as a young trainer which resulted in her having to re-battle Falkner and Bugsy several times. Over her journey grew an appreciation for pokemon perceived to be 'weak' & cute and built her team around showing the powers of these types of pokemon. Despite being a Champion Ranked trainer, Lyra opted to work with Ethans grandparents at the daycare center where she specialises in pokemon breeding and training weaker pokemon + their trainers.

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silver + 23. champion ranked trainer

♡ Only child of Rocket Boss, Giovanni. Was born and raised on Island 5 of the Sevii Islands by multiple admins, most commonly Archer before running away to Johto. Has a deep rooted and consistent fear that he’ll never amount to anything but “Giovanni's kid”. Was extremely tight lipped about his upbringing to the trio, especially after learning of his loose connection to Lyras father’s passing. Finally told them the truth of his family after the defeat and final disbandment of Team Rocket.

♡ Originally extremely standoffish, condescending and at times, aggressive. As an adult is still quite serious and independent, but genuinely enjoys the time he spends with his friends and is surprisingly protective of them - especially Lyra and Kris. As time passed, his anger towards his father evolved more into guilt, however, over the years has become more patient, gentle and forgiving with not only others but himself. He still can come off quite intimidating to strangers, but these changes are noticeably visible to those close to him. While usually a quiet person, has a very dry and witty sense of humour that takes most people by surprise.

♡ Mentored by Lance, and later Blue, and spends a large amount of time training in the Dragons Den. While unsure of what direction he wants his life to go into, Lance is adamant he would make a fantastic gym leader or elite four member. Always accompanies Lyra to the yearly Champion Balls and Alola trips. Currently lives in a small beachside bungalow with Lyra in Cherrygrove where he enjoys spending his free time reading and teaching himself guitar.

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ethan + 21

♡ The childhood friend of Lyra, Ethan was raised by his father and grandparents in New Bark. Extremely courteous, friend & family oriented and easy to talk to. A natural comic and can make even the straightest face people crack a slight smile - Red being his proudest achievement. Lax and slightly ditsy but can adapt to any situation and group of people like a flick of a switch. Not the best at articulating himself but always puts 110% into making sure people feel comfortable through his actions.

♡ Completed the 8 Johto gyms but never challenged the Elite Four & Lance in favour for persuing his true passions. Currently works at the Goldenrod Radio Tower where he co-hosts a program consisting of interviewing gym leaders, elite four, champions and other prolific battlers. At nights, does standup in the clubs in the Goldenrod Tunnel. Due to his easy-going nature and career, tends to knows everyone’s buisness + gossip and has crazy experiences with nearly any person imaginable.

♡ Currently lives in a small loft in Goldenrod. Spends his free time watching anime + cartoons or in the National Park either watching the Bug Contests, skating or talking to the old folks. Enjoys the nightlife of Goldenrod where he usually pulls Silver out to bar hop or spend hours playing Voltorb Flip.

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kris + 25

♡ Oldest and mother figure of the group. Was born and grew up in New Bark town with her mother before her cousin Lyra + aunt moved in with them when she was 11. The two shared the large upstairs bedroom growing up where Kris introduced Lyra to contests and the annual Champion & Wallace cups.

♡ Mature, soft spoken and extremely intellegent - both academically and socially. Because of this, can offer solutions on any issue on both a practical and emotional level, no matter the person and situation. Has unique relationships with all three kids but in general sees them as her younger siblings and takes the role as the 'older sister' very seriously. Has a warm and comforting presence, making those even to the likes of Silver feel comfortable confinding in her.

♡ Quite reserved and struggled with her purpose and sexuality growing up, espcially in rural Johto. After the death of her uncle and seeing her daughter’s interests in the Wallace Cups and contests, her mother moved the two to the Hoenn region, settling in Lilycove City when Kris was 13. While starting her gym challenge in the new region, Kris fell in love with Hoenn's unique weather patterns and ecosystems. Eventually she quit the gym challenge to peruse a career as a meteorologist where she now works at the weather institute. When not working, she enjoys attending contests, museums and scuba diving. Finally feeling settled in life, she came out to her family + the trio when she was 20.

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[worldofkuro]

I'm curious..sometimes I just crave platonic so...

What if reader was his little sibling? What would their childhood and teenagehood look like?

I’m sorry, I’ve been working a lot and I didn’t have time for myself. Next chapter should be uploaded this weekend.  Now, a Platonic question, I’m delighted ! I hope you'll enjoy it :)

Alastor would act differently depending on how you were.

If you were emotional, he would use you as his experiment. Why were you crying now? Why were you smiling? You were his little experiment and sibling, how lucky he was!

If you were a normal person, he wouldn’t show interest in you and just let you live your life.

During his childhood, if he created a bond with you, he would try to make you immune to others feelings, just like he was. If you were sad because an animal died, or because you fought with some “friends” of yours, he would try to understand why you were upset, or tried to understand your feelings.

For you security, and yours, he would try to explain to you how to perceive the world, never showing weakness. 

“ Dear sister/brother, you must have walls inside your head, no one can hurt you, no one, not even father.”

If you began to be like him, he would be delighted as a child, finally he wasn’t completely alone. You both would torture some animals in the forest, thinking it was your dad.

When you grew up and met Alice, Alyzée and John at school, depending if Alastor had succeeded at cutting your feelings for others, you both would see them as useful tools for your future plans.

But if you created a true and deep friendship with them, Alastor would just smile at you, with a hint of mischief. 

“ What ? You like them ?... That’s why you are the little one, so weak to others. Go mingle, it will be useful either way.”

If you were to fall in love with John, Alastor would be so disappointed. Raise your standard won’t you?

But if you fell in love with Alice and managed to have a relationship with her, Alastor would pinch your cheek with a big smile.

“ Well done, brat! A big fish you caught !”

If you ever were insecure about your relationship with Alice, Alastor would try to cheer you up but… In a weird way?

“ Why do you feel bad ? She is rich.” " You think you don't deserve her? .... You are my sibling, she doesn't deserve you." “ Yes, you both are girls… And?” “ You think you are disgusting for liking a girl ? Let me show you how disgusting men are, you’ll feel like you are the cleanest thing in town.”

He would want you to continue this relationship because it was useful for him.

Voodoo would be fun for both of you, and you would compete against one another. 

“ You can see people’s souls? Pfff, I can trap them.”

He would let you live your beautiful, loving life while he would go deeper into darkness.

Don’t trust him, he would betray you if he had something to win.

Now, now, if you were just like him, not feeling emotion for others, being selfish and wishing for power, then you were his best accomplice.

You both would be an unstoppable duo. Alastor would say that you both were twins, you were just a little late.

Killing your father would be a bonding experience for the both of you as you stayed awake at night for years, picturing how his death would feel like.

You would go sit into a coffee shop, talking about your last murder in a way nobody would understand.

You would want to have a job where you would be in the spotlight, just like your older brother.

But Alastor would never trust you fully, you were just like him, which meant you were dangerous, clever, ambitious. You were a danger to him, and even if he adored you because of how similar you were to him. He would try to kill you first.

And you would think just like him.

In the end, unless one of you moves to another country, you would be an amazing duo but also swore enemies.

“ Dear little one, it wasn’t nice to try to frame me for the neighbor’s death, but it was very clever. I can’t wait to see what you have in store! But now… This is my turn to play.”

When you both meet in Hell, you would smile widely at each other. Another game was on.

Fighting like siblings, even in Hell.

[chronically-ghosted]

between the earth and sky (lover, share your road - prologue) series masterlist | AO3 Link | part i

chapter rating: T (series: E)

word count: 1.1K

chapter summary: how Joel Miller's forefathers came to settle the southern plains

chapter warnings/tags: references to genocide (human and animal), racism

a/n: Miller County was a real place!

Vincente Ramón Morelos with his wife María Guadalupe Rodríguez Saldaña went in search of a better life in 1848.

Exhausted from the bloody revolution against Spain, then the devastating loss at the hands of white “rebels”, the childless couple leave the southern hill country by the San Antonio river to go north, to find peace, in a place that the Anglos have never touched — so promised Señor De La Cruz, a former comandante like Vincente, who shared his dream of wide, open spaces, and a sky that stretches into infinite possibilities.

This land they marched across, with its barren trees and flat golden spreads, is nothing like anything they’ve ever seen before. The wagon chain the Morelos follow whispered in hushed, awed tones. María reached out the side of the wagon, letting her hand brush against brown thistles, watching how the reed springs under her fingers, how it tickles her palm. She never knew the earth could be so soft – teasing her with some great secret it’s eager to share. She looked to her husband and he glowed beneath the rich blue sky and bronze sun. Maybe this was God showing her how to fall in love with a new home.

Towns became few and far between. In a transitory cattle town, Vincente listens to two vaqueros tell stories over a loose game of poker about a briefly-disputed patch of land, five hundred miles east, one that exchanged ownership three times before disappearing into obscurity. But a single name settled permanently, before its township ever could: Miller County. Vincente quietly related to that blurring of identity, a loss of a permanent place to be known and loved, so when going through towns of white Texan Anglos that distrusted his olive skin and aquiline nose, he told them his name was Vincent Miller and he was, like all others, looking for a place to call home. He found it north of what would become Amarillo, and south of what would be Dalhart, between the Canadian and Red River, rivers that never seemed as endless and deep as the Gulf from his childhood. 

By the spring of 1852, Mary (formerly María) and Vincent, established on their acre of land, had welcomed two girls and were expecting a third child, who ended up being a boy. This boy was given the name John (though his mother called him Juan at home) Tomás Miller, after Mary’s grandfather. As a boy, John learned from his father Vincent to listen and trust the Kiowa, the Comanche, the Gods of the Grass Sea, who were said to have been born with a heart of a buffalo. Who walked with prairie chickens and raced the pronghorn antelopes. Recognizing a kinship with nomadic blood of the Millers – once Morelos – the Comanche taught them what it meant to use the land as one uses a brother for support. Use in kind, but treat just as kindly. Avoiding what the Anglos referred to as “dry farming” because it was only the Anglos who believed, by sheer force of will, they could make rain come down from the sky. The Comanche were shocked by their arrogance. As he grew older and stronger beneath that heavy sunshine that had endeared his mother to these foreign lands, John maintained his father’s relationship with The First People, even aiding them in keeping the encroaching Anglo homesteaders off the lands of the buffalo and the blue grama grass. 

When John married in the summer of 1885 a woman whose skin burnt easy in the sun, but had hands rougher than a sailor’s, Vincent was surprisingly happy for his son, because Jennie Sarah Hansen was quick-witted, brave, and possessed a rare quality when it came to the regards of the Tejanos and The First People – compassion. Disowned by her own family for such a trait, Jennie came to live with John, his father Vincent, his mother Mary, with letters from John’s two sisters and their families coming from down south every month. 

Joel Ramón Miller was born in the late fall of 1891, followed shortly there by his brother, Tom – Tommy, because Tom was too serious for a boy with a smile like that – and the lineage of working under blue skies in endless dunes of buffalo grass was passed down, third generation of Vincent, who lived to see his oldest grandson turn five before quietly, with dignity, leaving this world in his sleep. 

Tommy Miller continued to look towards the sun and, as a young man, followed it west. But Joel, like his father, like his grandfather, like the land itself, kept watch over the ones he loved from the porch of that a-frame house, the one his father built for his mother. For a time that included a woman with dark skin and darker eyes out of Alabama. And then it was just the baby who came from her, who came from him. Sarah, named after his mother who was as fierce and resilient as the buffalo grass and as beautiful as the endless sky. 

As far as Joel Miller was concerned that was enough. The two of them – him and his babygirl, with the plums and the maize, and the secrets of this wide wilderness handed down in partnership from the Comanche and the Kiowa, because the Millers knew what to keep and what wasn’t theirs, or anyone’s, to own.

Until the day came when the buffalo were slaughtered by the thousands, and the once great Gods of the Grass Sea were felled, both driven to extinction by a force that held no compassion or concern for the lands it swallowed. 

The cowboys over in the XIT, runners of cattle in the land that used to tremble beneath the hooves of thousands of buffalo, started to complain first. Rumbled that no good was to come of any of it; the American government gave too freely; real estate agents and land developers promised too much. Those arriving in the prairie came only for the green that the wheat boom offered, and had misjudged the quietness of the plains for emptiness.

Joel Miller watched as towns bloomed overnight, model E’s rumbled off the new railway lines, and nesters and sodbusters burrowed into their dugouts like wolf-spiders — at the cost of the beautiful, bellowing sea of grass. The bison were long dead, the Kiowa and Comanche now ghosts between the stalks of blue grama, and a wind was coming in from the north. 

It whispered to those who could still listen and would heed its warnings. 

And Joel Miller, with his only daughter, listened and waited and didn’t like what he heard. First, the drought came. Lasted ten years. Then the economic freefall that blew out entire financial systems on a global scale. 

And then, like a ghoulish nightmare, a specter of death that came from the ill-resting spirits of the bison, came the dust storms. 

The air crackled with electricity, car radios clicked off, overwhelmed by the static. Ignitions shorted out. Waves of sand swept over the roads. Children were lost and found thirty feet from their back doors, dead, suffocated on dust. Five thousand feet tall, wider than entire cities, this was blind vengeance, a reckoning well-deserved.

And for the first time in his life, Joel Miller was afraid.

series masterlist | part i

[thehomeofplatonicfics]

Hi I recently discovered your account and I’m obsessed your writing is amazing and I don’t know if you’re still doing Tudor!reader Fics but if you are I have a request. So reader is Anne Boleyn’s eldest daughter and had to watch her mothers execution (for the storyline reader was 12 or so years old) and never forgave her farther so when she’s like 15 (maybe the day after Catherine Howard’s execution) she overthrows him as revenge. I hope you understand what I’m trying to say total understand if you don’t want to right it. Have a good day/night❤️

A/N: I love how kooky the timeline would have to be warped for this to be possible but I absolutely love the idea of this! So sorry for taking so long to write this, real life does enjoy getting in my way :(

Revenge

Someone had to stop King Henry VII, your father, from his increasingly brutal reign. Lady Mary, your half-sister, seemed unable to do anything without the counsel of her precious Ambassador Chapuys. Elizabeth was of course just a child, too young to rule. Edward was a mere baby. It seemed to you that the responsibility of saving the realm fell solely on your shoulders. It was a burden you were glad to take.

You were grateful that you’d had enough time being raised by your mother Anne Boleyn, that you had learnt how to be as cunning and manipulative as she had once been. Of course, having Mary as an older sister helped solidify those ideals, as Mary was able to inspire a great deal of loyalty in others when she wanted to.

It had been a long, arduous task to slowly turn the King’s courtiers against him. An entire year had passed before the perfect opportunity had finally arisen. Only two days had passed since poor Queen Catherine Howard had been executed on your father’s orders. Though you hadn’t been the greatest fan of the silly child, she was just like you… an innocent girl. Too many young women’s lives had been destroyed on the whims of an undeserving King, and the unrest among the populace seemed at its highest. It was the perfect time to strike.

The foundations you had laid throughout the year, telling little white lies here and there, promising things that you’d never do in order to gain the loyalty of the courtiers, would serve you well. The King had noticed some changes but could never trace them back to you. Often you would have agents loyal to you do the work that needed to be done while you were at home with Elizabeth in the country, creating a wonderful alibi.

Knowing that the King seemed to be favouring Catherine, the Lady Latimer, as his potential sixth wife, you realised that she would be the perfect distraction for your coup. You knew she wanted to be with Thomas Seymour so she would be likely to help you, especially as you had always had a good relationship with her growing up. Elizabeth, of course, was easy to manipulate into playing the part that you needed her to.

You dressed in your most regal black dress, deliberately picking out jewels and a French hood that made you look like a true ruler. You took a deep breath in and out to try to calm your nerves and your trembling hands before you went into the court. You gave a subtle nod to Catherine Parr who, along with Elizabeth, went up to the King to talk to him and distract him.

As soon as the King had begun discussing something with them both, you gave the signal to your loyal people who captured his guards and those you knew were still loyal to him, discreetly dragging them away.

You gave a sly, satisfied smile as you secretly prepared your weapon behind your back. You knew that your father’s greatest fear was getting sick, so you poured a poison on your blade before walking up to him, curtsying, and then holding the blade tightly against his throat. “Y/N! What is this?!” King Henry asks incredulously, clearly not believing one of his daughters could pull this off, his face grew white as he saw all the people loyal to you with their weapons drawn.

“I am now your Queen. You will take orders from me, and no one else.” You call out to the people in the court, who begin to cheer. You smile smugly to yourself as you see your father’s world crashing down around him.

“Why, Y/N? Just… why?” You give an incredulous laugh, sneering at him. “Why, father? For my mother.” You lean forwards, your breath touching his face as you snarl your words.

You turn to your guards, and give a sweet smile. “Throw him in the tower.” You command, pushing your father towards them. You sit on the throne, looking around at your successful coup. Allowing yourself a few moments to gloat in your glory, you immediately turn to your advisors. The Queen had work to do.

[itstheendofthegoddamnworld]

Kissed by Moonlight (Alucard x Witch! Reader) 5

A/N: Gosh, this chapter was enjoyable to write. Feelings are beginning to brew and I can't wait to see where it goes!

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Follow the story on A03!

Chapter 5

Days pass with the rising and falling of the sun, and soon you find that your stay at the castle has reached a fortnight.

They blended into one whilst you were there, and you sadly had to admit, you had grown used to living there.

It was the fact that your time was coming up (that was one of your many worries), but the fact that you’ve grown rather accustomed to being in Alucard’s presence.

You wonder if he’s the same: having seen him more often and gotten the chance to speak with him on the daily.

You wake to the calling of your name from him outside your bedroom door, sharing meals and helping to the garden outside. When the evenings come, you help one another cook dinner, before you either find yourself buried in the books in the library or sharing the fire in the reception. It took some convincing but he also took the time to take down those corpses, giving them a proper burial and to ‘put that moment in the past and look forward.’

You did not judge or ask further questions, only if he wanted to talk more about it.

You didn’t know those people, but he told you their names: Taka and Sumi. They hailed from Japan, an island country far from here that you had heard of but had never seen their people before. You could say the same about yourself, for you don’t think you had seen someone with as dark a skin complexion as your mother for a while.

No, you had gone for some time not seeing someone like you, being a witch and woman of colour. But you couldn’t help but feel that it didn’t matter when you spent your days with Alucard.

He was very mature for his age due to the lack of children his age. You had come to be told that his body had matured quicker than his age, so in tell, he was mentally younger than you at 18. It made sense for his boyish humour and rather immature toilet jokes. He told you he got them from Trevor, a Belmont through and through.

It was the little things about him that you had grown so used to, that you didn’t realise how much you would miss them when you had to go.

It was a yearning in your chest, one that grew with each day, and the more you spent your days with Alucard, laughing, it felt like you had known him for an entire lifetime. He will want you gone, you told yourself when you remembered; He will grow bored of you. It hurt, but the more you pushed yourself away or tried to, the more you found yourself coming back for more.

Instead, you stuck to your spells, learning by the hour until your back was sore from hunching over them.

Alucard had found you once, way into the night, surrounded by books once more, fast asleep with your hand still over the words you were reading. He could not help the small smile to grace his features, muttering to himself softly, ‘This is where I always find you now. Nose deep in some book.’ He leant over you, careful not to disturb you, listening to the rhythmic beat of your heart, your skin flush from the warmth in the room. Your face was half-smushed into the pages, but Alucard found it more amusing than scolding you for ruining his father’s books. He had been the same, pouring into his books as his mother had done when she carried him. His father spoke about how Lisa must’ve swallowed a candlestick and book to get him started, but Alucard found he enjoyed sharing the two gifts his parents loved. And now he got to share it with someone else. No, Alucard had found it rather endearing to see you like this most nights, enveloping you into his arms as he carried you to bed like a child, watchful in making sure the book in your hand stayed by your grip. He found your room and set you on the bed, gathering the sheets to pull around you, as a protection from the outside wonders and dreads of the castle.‘Sleep well, little witch,’ he had come to use that nickname on you often. ‘Dream of the broomsticks and caldrons you can use to conjure great spells.’

When you would wake from a sleep of comfort, you would find yourself in your bed, a warmth spreading over you and into your chest and the day would repeat again.

It was this morning when as the two of you sat over breakfast you asked Alucard an important question.

“The hold—the Belmont hold – you told me about it once– is it okay if I can go down there?”

“It is yours,” Alucard is quick to answer, almost too quick to your liking for someone he’s grown used to sharing the same four walls with. “No one has used it for some hundred years. It may be a requirement for me to help you reach it though.”

“Oh, why is that?”

He seems almost bashful with his answer, a crooked smile gracing his handsome features. “The stairs down were destroyed, due to… an unfortunate encounter with some creatures of the night.”

“Ah, makes sense, how would we get down then?” You crunched into your stale bread.

“We’ll jump.”

“Jump?” You nearly choked on the food in your throat, staring at him as if he had grown ten heads. “Can I remind you I’m fully human? I don’t think I’d survive a fall that high.”

“That’s why I’m here,” he says, and the look in his eyes is serious, and you half dread, half inquisitive about what he has installed for you.

-

“I don’t know about this, Alucard.”

“I have you,” Alucard stares down the abyss as if it's nothing as if he’s dropped from heights like that a thousand times before. “I will not be letting go of you.”

“You say that,” you don’t want to match him and lean over the broken bannister, staring down before you chicken out, “but I’ll be the one screaming all the way down.”

He gives a gentle smile and a reassuring hand, “Would I ever let you fall?”

Never.

“No.” You blush easily now when he’s charming, his voice soft and soothing.

“Good,” he’s ready, but you’re not. “I’ll carry you if it makes things easier.”

“O-Okay,” you shakily perch one hand onto his shoulder, squeaking as he scoops you up with ease into his arms. He doesn’t even break a sweat, holding you bridal style. His chest is warm when you thump against it, inches from his face and very aware that you’re staring dead on at him.

“You’re shaking like a leaf,” he laughs to make you feel at ease, but you’re more shaking as to what is to happen next. “It’ll be over in eight seconds.”

“Eight seconds is a long time to fall,” your voice rises the closer he inches, and your holding onto him is not very ladylike. To Hell with the ladylikeness, I’m dangling off the edge, ready to fall. “Oh, why didn’t you install new stairs?”

“That would’ve been easier.” Alucard muses, and he stares down at you momentarily. “I’m here, I’ll never let you go, remember?”

“I know-” you squeeze your eyes tight as before you can even finish your sentence, the ground leaves you both as Alucard steps off, and the air holds you momentarily still. You await for gravity to meet and plunge you down, your stomach somersaulting, but instead, you open one eye to stare at the Dhampir owlishly.

“You can-”

“Fly? Yes, well, I wanted to keep some of the thrills.” He ponders good-humouredly, and you’re almost gaping like a fish when he begins to slowly descend with you in his arms down into the hold.

“It’s a good thing I wasn’t screaming.” Your skin is alight with a furious blush, aware now that your nerves were basically for nothing, but you still felt at ease thanks to Alucard’s words. You don’t miss the way his face blooms into a pale pink hue that spreads across his face.

The two of you reached the bottom and gingerly, Alucard let you back to the ground, your legs shaking when they met the floor. When you look up, you see how much of everything is in disarray. The staircase leading up is completely destroyed, its remaining stones a heap just inches from where you both stand. The many paintings on the walls are slanted from being knocked, and others are smashed to the floor and ripped to shreds. Only one hangs in perfect shape: a man in opulent and gleaming gold and white armour, a fur-white trimmed cloak hanging off him and a longsword he holds. He has the same hair colour as Alucard, though he is shorter in length and his eyes seem blue.

You squint at the portrait closer, “Is that-”

“The one who started it all, Leon Belmont. Unfortunately, his one living descendant runs amok Wallachia.” Alucard frowns, “God forbid having more Belmonts running around.”

He does like to talk highly of his friend and fellow vampire hunter. You think, before the two of you continue onwards.

Alucard opens the door, slamming it open as if something blocks the way, and you’re welcomed into what could only be described as a large pit, filled with wonder and knowledge.

Though some of the books are thrown about, shelves destroyed and much of the content that has been stored is ruined, you very much feel in awe, standing in what is years of history.

“This place is amazing! The years it must’ve taken to gather so much knowledge- so much history!” You beam, not knowing where to start. Alucard doesn’t share your excitement and you’re quick to look back on him, staring back at him with fondness. “What is the matter?”

He does not speak but only directs your attention to what stands on a shelf close by, and you look in horror and realisation at the shelf with skulls, all similar sizes with teeth not similar to that of a human. The shelf is a decorative collection of vampire skulls, and you understand quickly.

“Oh.”

“You can imagine why I have little warmth for a place like this.” Alucard grimaces, his face a wall of acceptance. “It was the place of knowledge in destroying what was known of vampires.”

I have upset him. You realise. “Forgive me, I overstepped with my excitement. I’m a fool for not realising.” Though the Dhampir is quick to forgive. He steps close, and the proximity makes you feel lightheaded from the sudden closeness.

“You need not apologise, little witch,” he soothes with his dulcet tones, “I’m not one to be offended quick… not by you.”

You relax to hear your words, and a bit happier to know that. “Okay… well, I won’t keep you too long. Just wanted to gather some more books.”

Alucard is happy to help, gathering the necessary ones you need that can be helpful. Who would’ve thought that the Belmont clan had so much information about so many monsters, including witches?

Your happiness with your selection brings you to take everything back up, as you track back through and up to the world of the living. Though it is a great place, you can’t help but feel how there was a sense of doom that lurked in a lonely place like that. It is a surviving gravesite. You tell yourself as you’re carried back up by Alucard.

The rest of the night, you find yourself in the reception, reading quietly with Alucard elsewhere in the castle. The crackle of the fire is the only thing that resounds in the room, all whilst you lay there, a sense of tiredness lurks in your bones. You’ve not had time to yourself, and though your mind screams to remain awake, your body is slower, and you find your mouth slurring with the words that grow quieter.

“Requiesco. Requiesco… Requiesco.”

.

.

.

You don’t know how long you’re asleep for, for your body floats in a state of limbo, rolling the way you move to get comfortable, like waves undulating in the ocean. You groan though you do not feel the softness of the Corinthia beneath you until you groggily open your eyes.

You find your body lying rigidly, hovering just inches from hitting the ceiling, see-through and translucent enough to see the wall next to you. Bubbling to your throat, you scream, scrabbling as you adjust to the situation, before looking down. “Am I… dead?”

You look down below you, to see… you. You’re laying as if asleep, the book lying within your lap, eyelashes curled with no knowing if your body is conscious to be breathing.

“No, no, no, no. I can’t be dead.” You gasp, screaming out to call for Alucard, knowing you would not be able to be heard. You were an apparition it seemed, though you did not die, you think—no, tell yourself.

You float down closer to your body, clawing at the air as you swim closer. Your body was indeed alive, though it was as if you were staring back at yourself as a spectator rather than a participant.

Curiously, you tentatively reach out to yourself, watching in horror as your hand moves right through you, going right through your body.

“How did this happen?” You kept telling yourself over and over, not aware that the door had opened, and in came a figure.

“There you are.”

“Alucard, I can explain-” You reached for him, but the Dhampir walked right past you, walking towards your sleeping form. “Alucard?” You reached to him, touching his shoulder and expecting to go through him as you did with yourself, except your touch recoiled the moment you touched him as if you had been electrocuted.

He was cold, ice cold like a corpse.

“What are you reading this time, little witch?” His voice is a soft lull, pulling your attention when he tenderly pulls the book off your lap, taking in the pages you were reading. “Astral projection? This one is new. Though, I do hope you don’t take to acting as a ghost within these walls.” He chuckles wryly to himself. “This castle holds too many already.”

You watch the act, the way he is tender to you, and you never realise just how he was when you were asleep. Your heart leaps when you watch him collect a blanket from a nearby chaise, pulling it over you as he makes sure you’re comfortable and cosy.

“Sleep well, little witch.” He whispers, a hand gingerly coming to coil around one of your curls experimentally, retracting quickly as if he was scared to be caught.

Alucard stands and steps past you again, walking out of the room to leave you alone and you can only watch at the tenderness you just witnessed. If you had not believed it had been you he was making sure was comfortable, you believed you could’ve grown almost… jealous.

That could wait, you needed to get back into your body. The only thing you could remember from the pages was to place your astral form back into your host form. You crawled back onto the seat, laying just as the way you were sleeping, feeling the tugs that came when you tried fitting your legs and fingers into place.

When you laid your head after feeling comfortable, you screwed your eyes shut, and suddenly were flooded with light and hazy surroundings that came from your body jolting mid-sleep. Your lungs burned with air, your eyes watering from the sight of the fire, sensitive to the brightness, before you looked down at yourself.

When your hands came up to your face, aware that you were back, the grin that reached your face was bright and gleaming.

-

Latin Translations:

Requiesco – (I) rest

[warwickroyals]

Sunderland's Royal Jewel Vault (27/∞) ♛

↬ The Westminster Aquamarines

The Sunderlandian royal family has several magnificent parures of aquamarine jewellery. One of these collections, the Westminster Aquamarines, features some of the royal family’s oldest and most iconic jewels; uncovering their history takes us back nearly two hundred years. In 1830s, Sunderland was a lone constitutional monarchy in North America, bordered by the United States in the northeast and Mexico to the southwest. The early 19th century had seen the country’s steady expansion westward thanks to territorial acquisitions from the Spanish and British. This period of territorial and economic growth, however, was cut short by the early death of Sunderland’s Hereditary Prince in 1835. Hereditary Prince Frederick James was just shy of thirty, the only son of King Louis III and his beloved first wife, Princess Amelia of the United Kingdom. Freddie was also the only legitimate male-line grandson of King Louis II, as a result, his death complicated Sunderland’s succession. The question of who would succeed Louis III ignited a fierce rivalry among the King’s younger brothers, as they scrambled to marry and produce an heir to the throne. The Duke of Lennox and St. George, the King’s first brother and heir presumptive, married an obscure German princess. The Duke of Glencairn, the King’s second brother, married the daughter of a wealthy British statesman. But it was the King’s fifth brother, Prince Augustus, the Duke of Westminster, who looked for a bride closer to home. Lady Martha Whitley was twenty years younger than her husband-to-be, a descendant of the Prussian nobility that migrated to Sunderland following the election of Prince Heinrich of Prussia as King Louis I of Sunderland, Martha hailed from one of Sunderland’s oldest aristocratic families. Unlike some of her foreign, and significantly younger, sisters-in-law Martha was shrewd and held a deep familiarity of Sunderland's court life, this was reflected in her impressive jewelry collection. On her wedding day, Martha was gifted a small box of aquamarine pendants of various shapes and sizes. As Martha’s prominence at court grew, the aquamarines became known as the Duchess of Westminster’s Aquamarines. Over the years, the Duchess incorporated the aquamarines into a few pieces of jewelry including a necklace and a pair of earrings. The tensions surrounding Sunderland’s succession died down when the British-born Prince George of Glencairn became king in 1860. By then Westminsters had three children, Prince Louis, who became Duke of Westminster following his father’s death in 1877; Prince Thomas, and Princess Elizabeth Anne. The family was popular with nobility and the public alike, but they weren’t without their scandals. After Prince Louis enraged King George by marrying without permission, his subsequent children were declared illegitimate and barred from inheritance. Finding a suitable wife for Prince Thomas, now heir to the Westminster Dukedom, became a top priority. In 1876, Prince Thomas met and fell in love with Princess Marie of Hanover, a male-line great-granddaughter of King George III and therefore a British princess. The couple married in 1880, but struggled to have children. In 1887, their only surviving child was born in the presence of Queen Alexandra. The little princess, given the lengthy name Alexandra Anne Martha Georgina Dagmar Gloriana Marie, would be known to history as Princess Anne of Westminster. Growing up, Anne was placed in the direct care of her Dear Granny Martha.

My grandmother was magnificent. She was kind but strict, with old-fashioned ideas about how a princess should be brought up. - Queen Anne of Sunderland, circa 1953

The Duchess of Westminster had high hopes for her only male-line granddaughter. Indeed, Anne’s maternal cousins were well-connected to the British and Danish royals, as well as the Imperial families of Russia and Germany. By the time Anne was twenty, she’d been taken on several trips to Europe, excursions she came to loathe. Anne’s anxiety worsened when she was rejected by several families. After her mother died in Austria, Anne returned from Europe “alone and feeling rather sorry for myself”. Back in Sunderland, Anne made friends with her second cousin once-removed, Prince George, the Duke of Woodbine and eldest son of the Prince and Princess of Danforth. Over the years, the pair’s friendship developed into a romance and in 1911, King George allowed the couple to marry. That same year, the Duchess of Westminster died, and Anne inherited the largest jewel collection in the royal vault, aquamarines included. Anne and George married in 1913. Anne, now Duchess of Woodbine, was one the most dynastically important ladies at court and she set to work reworking her grandmother’s jewels into spectacular works of art. For King George and Queen Alexandra’s 1920 Diamond Jubilee, Anne commissioned Garrard to work the aquamarines into a parure that included a necklace, a choker, two brooches, and a pair of earrings. The parure paired nicely with the aquamarine Georgiyevna Tiara, which entered the family in the early 1920s. To this day, the Georgiyevna aquamarines are often mistaken for those of the Westminster set, showing how ubiquitous they’ve become with the main-line royal family’s collection. When Anne became Queen in 1930, she wore the aquamarines. Despite her overflowing jewellery box, the aquamarines were evidently her favourite and became synonymous with her name and legacy. The Westminster aquamarines have remained iconic long after Queen Anne’s time. Queen Irene became another famous wearer of the suite, wearing the choker as both a necklace and a headband in the 1980s. Queen Anne was an important figure to Irene during the early years of her marriage, and she wears nearly all of the jewels her grandmother-in-law left to her. In the 2010s, Tatiana, then the Princess of Danforth was seen in bits and pieces of the suite, notably the choker, signalling that the jewels will be carried on into the next generation.

Queen Anne of Sunderland, wife of King George II, wears the Westminster aquamarines with the Georgiyevna tiara for a promotional image, circa 1930

Queen Irene of Sunderland, wearing a powder blue satin evening gown along with the Westminster aquamarine choker as a headband, attends a gala dinner on April 30, 1984 in Auckland, New Zealand

[campbell-rose]

Helluva Rewrite: Millie

Okay, i dropped my phone in water and was so scared i'd ruined it, but thank the gods it was fine. Though it's fucked so i'm going to post all the IMP redesigns in short order before it dies and i lose them forever. Onto Millie!

I wanted Millie to read as a country girl. I remember being like ‘oh, that’s her voice?’ when I watched the first episode, because for some reason it just didn’t match her design for me. I considered giving her back the white splotch in her hair, but decided to change imps and give fem imps white horns. I’ve got two guesses for why it was removed: 1) she was originally trans and it was changed 2) the dimorphism of imps was thought of after the pilot. Either way, I like it. I suppose the explanation for this version since her horns are fem is she might have been born intersex?

I wanted her and Moxxie to contrast in their designs, as such she’s wearing less while he’s fully covered, she’s tall he’s short, etc... Now, as a Wrath imp, she has a darker skin tone and has spikes on her body.

Now, as a character, i'll build off of what the show has given us.

Supposedly Millie is secretly very insecure? From leaks she’s like willing to die because she thinks she’s holding Moxxie back and in Unhappy Campers she had that whole breakdown. Now, I think this actually could’ve been built up a bit.  

In the rewrite, Millie is the youngest of her five siblings and the second girl. Now, from the bat lets make her a bit of a drain on the family. They hadn’t planned for her birth, and it was another child her parents had to take care of with limited money. She picked up on this when she was little, realizing that her parents often cut corners and struggle, and she perceives this as her fault. This ties into how she mentions her family going to Loo Loo Land, except in this it was once and was specifically for her birthday. She knows her parents had saved up for months to afford the trip and feels innate guilt for it. Boom insecurity explained. 

Now, in this Millie meets Blitzo first. They bump into one another once Millie moves away from the Wrath Ring to Pride to try and alleviate her parents’ stress. During this time Millie has been working as an assassin for a couple months and ends up bumping into Blitzo who was hired by a different person to kill the same target. This would be during Blitzo’s attempt to start his business in hell killing demons. They fight for a bit, then realize ‘oh wait... let’s work together!’ so Millie was the first to join IMP. 

Millie trains endlessly. When she isn’t doing her job, she’s at the gym. She is constantly striving to be the best because her parents pitted her and her siblings against one another (unknowingly, with things like the harvest festival). As a person she is very observant and emotionally intelligent. She is very kind and loves conversation. She also is very tight with money, and very appreciative of any gifts she receives because she grew up with little. She treasures things genuinely and is just all around a very genuine girl. 

Now, other than fighting, she is fairly mediocre at anything else, due to the culture of Wrath mainly being kill or be killed and you have to be tough. One hobby and talent she does have and is working on is singing, something she shares with Moxxie and works as something they can do together. Millie loves to play guitar and sing and is constantly striving to improve. On the topic of Moxxie, Millie loves him deeply and wants only the best for him and some part of her feels like she isn’t enough. 

All around I want this Millie to come off as a very confident and genuine person, trying her best to push down the deep feeling within her that she is a drain on everyone around her. So when people start showing her with praise rather than screaming in agony she is enthralled. She loves the cheers of crowds, as it was often Sallie Mae getting cheered on during the Harvest Moon Festival while Millie was always second best. She wants that kind of adoration and acknowledgement. 

That’s it. Gotta work on finishing Blitzo and Moxxie rn

[turneradora]

🤣🤣🤣👍

Kath and I tried not to squeal with excitement when Aidan Turner sat right in front of us (WHAT a handsome man). But sadly he was moved to the front, ready for the Q&A at the end. My friend Amanda was messaging me, telling me to sniff him so she could know what he smelled like. I was four drinks deep by then and might just have had a go, but thank god the poor man was moved before I could work out how to do this. And I probably avoided an arrest for public harassment into the bargain. So sorry, I can’t tell you what Aidan Turner smells like, but he looks very clean. And did I say how handsome he is? New pic of Aidan at the special UK screening of « Rivals », last September 17th. (Sam Harrington-Lowe Journalist)

NEW 💯💯💯

Aidan was sitting in the screening room.

I guess probably next to Victoria Smurfit, on his left

Thanks to my friend Isademrio who found the picture this morning

Thanks to the Journalist Sam Harrington- Lowe who published the article in the Silver Magazine yesterday and took this photo of Aidan, she was sitting right behind him

THE ARTICLE

FIRST LOOK: JILLY COOPER’S RIVALS IS A WILD RIDE

The star-studded launch of Jilly Cooper’s Rivals

I’ve wanted to use this photo of Jilly Cooper for yonks, so I’ve dug it out shamelessly for this piece. Just look at her! How gorgeous? I suspect that Jilly’s life has probably been, in parts, as exciting and racy as many of her novels. When I think of Jilly Cooper’s Rivals, or Riders, or any of them, I sort of picture her like this, writing them.

I grew up loving Cooper. As a child, I can remember my dad guffawing to her columns in the heady days of Harold Evans’ Sunday Times, over a full English and untipped Gitanes. I was too young to read her then, but devoured collections of her scribblings a few years later. And as I hit my teens, I fell head over heels in love with her romantic heroines. Prudence, Octavia, Emily, Bella, Imogen et al – I read them cover to cover, repeatedly. I loved Octavia best, because who doesn’t love a broken bad girl? And Octavia was very naughty indeed.

Tame stuff by today’s standards really, despite the wildness of the ‘70s. But my love for Jilly was set for life. The delicious Britishness of it all was a big part of the attraction. I devoured the wicked filth of Jackie Collins, but it was so American to me, settings I could barely relate to. Whereas Cooper wrote very much about life from my own frame of reference. Country living, London, dogs, ponies… ridiculous 11am drinks parties. As a child, one of my first ever jobs was as a pheasant plucker – I kid you not. So to find someone writing about sex, drama, and intrigue in English country villages…

Read more: Are you common? A class guide…

But I digress

When the big ‘bonkbusters’ (god, I hate that term) started coming out, I was in fits of ecstasy. From Riders onwards I was hooked, reading voraciously and pining until another one came out. I have no idea how one even starts to write novels like that, holding all that information about so many characters together. I can barely remember why I went into the kitchen. But reading the books, sinking into that heady world of treachery, and money, and sex, and absolutely appalling behaviour was a wild pleasure I can still feel today.

So when I saw that Rivals was to be made into a TV series – by Disney no less, a weird marriage, I thought – I was wary. There have been a few adaptations of Cooper’s work before, and they’ve largely been rather awful. Would this be any different? As luck would have it, I was invited to a premiere screening of the first two episodes, followed by a panel sesh with some of the actors – so I would get to find out sooner rather than later.

The invite had specified there would be ’80s-themed drinks and canapes, and on the way up to town, my plus-one Kath and I necked G&Ts and wondered what they might be. Vol au vents, for sure. Possibly smoked salmon. Prawns? It turned out to be a take, rather than a religious revisit, which is probably better. But there were vol au vents, you’ll be pleased to know (creamy chicken and mushroom). Also prawn cocktails, and teenie Black Forest gateaux, amongst other delights.

…you could have been forgiven for thinking it really was 1985. We circulated a bit, rubbing shoulders with celebs and quaffing bubbles and tequila sunrises…

We did however arrive to a glittering event with Duran Duran blaring, hot and cold running cocktails and champagne, and stars galore. For one moment you could have been forgiven for thinking it really was 1985. We circulated a bit, rubbing shoulders with celebs and quaffing bubbles and tequila sunrises, before taking seats in the sumptuous screening room.

Kath and I tried not to squeal with excitement when Aidan Turner sat right in front of us (WHAT a handsome man). But sadly he was moved to the front, ready for the Q&A at the end. My friend Amanda was messaging me, telling me to sniff him so she could know what he smelled like. I was four drinks deep by then and might just have had a go, but thank god the poor man was moved before I could work out how to do this. And I probably avoided an arrest for public harassment into the bargain. So sorry, I can’t tell you what Aidan Turner smells like, but he looks very clean. And did I say how handsome he is?

Tell us about the show

I’m not allowed to write about the show itself yet properly. It’s embargoed until whatever date was on the piece of paper they made me sign. So I can’t actually review it properly. But I think I can tell you a few things without getting strung up.

The lineup was always going to make this enjoyable viewing, even it was shit, let’s face it. Some of my faves are in this – David Tennant, Katherine Parkinson, Danny Dyer, Aidan Turner, Emily Atack… and many more, as they say. It’s a great bunch, and dare I say it, very well cast. Tennant is sneering and chippy as Lord Tony Baddingham, Danny Dyer a perfect Freddie Jones. Bella Maclean is meltingly beautiful as Taggie, and Victoria Smurfit is a brilliant, fragile Maud O’Hara. And if you tell me that there’s a better actor to play hot-headed, principled Irish TV star Declan than Aidan Turner, well I don’t believe you.

The lineup was always going to make this enjoyable viewing, even it was shit, let’s face it

If you’ve been looking at the photos and thinking that Alex Hassell isn’t right for Rupert Campbell-Black, well, you’re not alone. Even Alex admits to being really worried about stepping into his shoes and not exactly looking like everyone expects him to. He’s not blond, for a start. But – and there are no real spoilers here Disney, if you’re reading this – after literally every part of Alex is revealed in the very first episode, as he points out, there’s nowhere really left to hide. So he just “got on with it.” And honestly, he makes a pretty good fist of it. He’s handsome, dastardly, and has a good bash at Rupert’s hidden depths, such as they are.

The challenge of taking on well-known characters

Many of the actors channelled older family members or situations. As readers of the book will know, Declan is fiercely protective of his family. Aidan said he was able to get into Declan mode by looking back at his own family. “He’s a dad, I’m a dad,” says Aidan. “I sort of related to him. And he’s like my dad, he’s Irish, there’s the hair…”

Nafessa Williams, who plays the gloriously feisty TV exec Cameron Cook, said she couldn’t wait to immerse herself in the ’80s, pointing out that she had family back then who looked exactly like she did in the show, big hair and all. She’d been able to use her own experience as the only American actor in the show, not really having insight into the wonders of the English countryside.

“It’s a lot like life imitating art, right?” she says. “Like, she [Cameron] came from New York to come here, I came from LA. So I understood her coming here and being new and not understanding this world.”

I’m not sure how many slow-burn relationships are allowed to happen in a world of Tinder and so on, so it was extremely enjoyable to play

Katherine Parker plays gentle Lizzie Vereker, and I suspect talking about the situation between her character and that of Danny Dyer’s is off limits, although obviously you can read what happens in the book. But she confesses to being thrilled to be working with him, and their chemistry is lovely.

“I was so pleased that Danny was playing that part. It’s so beautifully drawn throughout the series, their dynamic. And it unfolds over eight episodes, which is a kind of slow-burn relationship. Which feels very ‘80s. I’m not sure how many slow-burn relationships are allowed to happen in a world of Tinder and so on, so it was extremely enjoyable to play.”

And another great team

David Tennant is Lord Baddingham, massively hung up on class and wanting to fit in. He’s anchored by his wife, Lady Monica, played by the excellent Claire Rushbrook, who is very much old school posh, and who gives him the only real class clout he has. David says he loved playing Tony.

“It’s all there, it’s all there in the writing. And it’s very potent, it’s very British. But it’s very human too, you know? Like, [as Tony] I can never quite be where I want to be, to always be disappointed, because no matter how hard you try, there’s a club you’re not allowed to be in. And for someone like Tony, that’s devastating. He can only try harder. And he will never be satisfied because he’s always one peg down from the exclusive club, and it kills him.”

…he will never be satisfied because he’s always one peg down from the exclusive club, and it kills him…

Tony’s a grammar school boy, as opposed to, say, Rupert’s start in life at Harrow. And the chip on his shoulder is enormous. The most important thing to Tony?

“Winning!!” shouts Tennant, quite literally, channelling Tony alarmingly right there in the screening room. “Whatever that means, and whatever the situation… because he can never have the ultimate prize, he must have ALL the other prizes.” Tennant laughs. “He’s very balanced. There’s no daddy issues here, AT ALL!”

On scenes with Claire Rushbrook as his wife, Lady Baddingham. “I love those scenes, because it’s where all his armour falls away, and you get to see the little boy again. And he’s sort of got his mum there, that comfort. He’s very at home with her, and absolutely needs her. And he kind of runs this extraordinary lifestyle of treachery and debauchery, but he always has to have Monica.”

It’s not often I fangirl massively, but honestly. It’s DAME JILLY COOPER! After a lifetime of reading her books and words, I actually found it quite emotional to see her in the flesh. She was utterly divine, just so happy with the production and telling all the girls how beautiful they were and all the men how handsome. Plus ca change, Jilly! She’s a rather marvellous 87 now, and looking good on it. Plenty of the old Cooper sparkle, and clearly having a whale of a time at the do. I didn’t get to corner her, and probably would have been too shy really. But it was enough to have been there for this whole event.

As for the show – well, I could have sat there and binged the whole lot in one go. Which is, I suspect, what will happen when it finally airs. It’s one hundred per cent a ‘romp’ and not to be taken massively seriously. I absolutely loved it, and really hope they make the entire Rutshire Chronicles into telly shows, if they’re going to be like this.

Jilly Cooper’s Rivals launches on 18 October on Disney+ in the UK

Don’t say: “I’ll have a soya matcha latte with a gluten-free protein bar.”

Do say: “More champagne and keep it coming, and pass the Dunhills.

[nucleo-bang-tan]

The Uisa's Daughter | Chapter 1v : Her Grief

Pairing/s: Kim Taehyung X Reader, Jeon Jungkook X Reader

Genre: Medieval Korea AU, Mystery, Strangers to Lovers, Angst, Smut

Rating/s: 18+ Mature Themes

Warning/s: Grief and lots of it, King tries to sleep with her, the real Jungkook... And ofcourse, wouldn't be a nucleobangtan fic without shitty ass writing and really bad pacing.

Summary: In the 1700s, the Jeon Dynasty spread all across the Korean peninsula.  Happiness quadrupled with the founder Emperor's presence, or so it seemed. Secrets scattered over the palace in the capital city, Hanseong were known to none except a few.

Chapter Summary: Curiousity did not kill the cat. Atleast not yet.

A/N: Not proofread!!! Please leave comments, I would love to hear from you guys. Critique my writing and tell me if I'm doing anything wrong, really appreciate it.

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Teaser Prologue Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The morning sun rose, casting a gentle light on a world that felt colder without your lover. You sat quietly on the window sill, surrounded by memories, each one a bitter reminder of his absence.

The ache in your heart was painful, a silent testament to the love you shared and the deep void his death had left in your life. It had been exactly three weeks since your wedding day, but it felt like an eternity without him. Every day dragged on, the minutes stretching into hours.

You couldn't help but tear up. The syllables 'Taehyung' gave you flashbacks of your bloodied lover. The nights were sleepless and even if you did manage to close your eyes, the flashbacks didn't spare you.

Amidst everything, Yoongi's life was taken because he wanted to protect you. How you unapologetically wished it was your father who was slain.

The emptiness in your heart grew bigger and bigger with each passing moment. Every night, the King would visit your chambers. He hoped that you would give in to his demands, let him use you the way he had hungered for years.

But you never let him. You were always closed off and barely talked to him. He didn't wish to force you but you were surely making it difficult for him. King Jeon knew you never wanted him, but he never stopped pursuing.

"Why are you sad?" An endearing voice pulled you out of your thoughts. You smiled, wiping the tears on your cheeks.

"I just... I lost someone I loved." The little child climbed onto the window sill as well, sitting on your lap.

"I lost someone too, once. But I don't remember anything." He said, slightly frowning.

"Was it the Queen? Your mother?" You patted his fluffy, brown hair.

"How did you know, Y/n? Oh, I'm sorry! Father said I should call you my mother."

"We are barely 12 years apart. I'm more like your sister. You don't have to call me your mother if you don't wish to, Jungkook."

He giggled, "I love it when you call me that!"

You furrowed your eyebrows, "Call you what?"

"'Jungkook' of course!" He said, slightly jumping out of happiness in your lap.

You figured not everyone called him by his name, either addressing him as Prince or majesty.

"I'm more than happy to call you by your name, Jungkook."

"Yes! It's my name! I am the great warrior, Jeon Jungkook." You laughed slightly at his excitement. His innocent soul found delight in the littlest of things.

Over the past couple of weeks, little Jungkook had been your source of joy. He had a lot of energy, whenever you didn't feel like getting up, Jungkook forced you to play with him. Unknowingly, it helped you to handle the grief a lot better.

Ofcourse, he was a bit spoiled, being the Prince of an entire country does come with a lot of luxuries. But the kindness and bright nature overtook his spoiled attitude. The kid was the type to throw a tantrum when the chef didn't make his favorite food but then apologize for his behavior in the cutest way possible.

"Oh! I have a letter for you." He said, pulling out an envelope from his hanbok.

You furrowed your eyebrows, "A letter? Did you write it?"

"No, that person told me to give it to you. They got it from your friend." He said.

According to Jungkook, there was a person in the palace worried for your well-being. It was probably a maid who used to work for your father, you thought. You weren't allowed to leave your chambers, so letters were the only mode of communication.

You took the envelope in your hand and carefully opened it. You hoped it was who you thought it was: your childhood friend.

Dear Y/n,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing this two days after your wedding with the King. But I would imagine it will take a few days to reach you considering all the security. But I was promised by my friend that it'll reach you, no matter what happens, and I trust that.

I cannot fathom the pain that you are enduring. Losing two people in a single day, seeing them lose their light in front of you. I am sorry I couldn't be there. I understand why you hate the King. I am sorry for the times I shushed you when you were speaking ill about him. He isn't kind at all.

Yoongi was a great person and my friend as well. And about Taehyung... I am writing this letter to tell you what he wished you knew. He had kept this in the past but I am sure he meant to tell you this in the time to come.

He was no ordinary farmer. Taehyung used to be an assassin in the royal army. He climbed up ranks as soon as he joined the army. Ofcourse his identity was and is a secret to the mass. He was a brutal man, assassinating whoever wronged the King. He was loyal to the Jeon family.

There were also rumors that wives and women of aristocratic families paid him to sleep with them, and that is how he knew a lot of the secrets of the royals and high class families. The rumors were proved to be true and that made King Jeon furious. He was eventually removed from his position and was sent back.

This is all I know about the matter.

Y/n, how I wish I could be there for you. Your parents have no maids and servants now after what your father did. Although I am trying my best to get work back at the palace to be closer to you, the King is stubborn. He is not taking any chances and his trust in me has dwindled due to your father.

I believe in you. There are talks of a revolution inspired by Taehyung and Yoongi, talks to save you. Until then, I believe you will hold on. My friend at the palace will treat you well.

For now, all I can say is keep safe and do not let the King get to your head. You have seen worse now, have you not?

Do not lose hope.

Love,

Jung Hoseok

You read the letter slowly, each word sinking in. Hoseok’s message was a lifeline, a reminder that you were not alone. He was out there, fighting for you, and there was a glimmer of hope in the talk of revolution. You clutched the letter to your chest, drawing strength from his words.

Jungkook watched you with wide eyes, sensing the importance of the letter. "Is it good news?"

You smiled through your tears, nodding. "Yes, Jungkook. It's good news. Thank you for bringing it to me."

He beamed, his innocent joy a balm to your wounded heart. "I'm glad!"

As you tucked the letter away safely, you felt a renewed sense of determination. You would endure this, for Taehyung, for Yoongi, and for the future Hoseok envisioned. You would not let the King break you.

You remembered Taehyung fighting the palace guards masterfully, his moments were fluid and graceful. He was formidable until that soldier 'defeated' him on King's command.

You remembered Taehyung often telling you a thing or two about the aristocrats and high ranking officials. How the husbands were unfaithful and all the wives could do was sit there with a smile, because if they held any other expression, they would be beaten and bruised. He also mentioned the wives paying men for some satisfaction as their husbands found solace in anyone but them.

You remembered the way he held you whenever he made love to you. His movements reflected clear experience. You never asked him why it was.

He hated the nobility and the privileged yet he slept with wives. You couldn't help but wonder what made him go through with that. King Jeon, who had several affairs, would not remove Taehyung from his post simply because of what he did. There had to be more to that.

"Who is the letter from?" The patiently awaiting Jungkook asked.

"A friend of mine, Hobi. He is the sweetest person there is." You smiled, patting his head, "Thank you for delivering this to me."

"Will you play with me now?" He asked eagerly.

"Do you have a game in mind, little Prince?" You were more than delighted to have Jungkook. He kept you busy and didn't let you think much about the happenings.

"Hide and seek? But your chamber does not have places to hide." He pouted.

"That's alright. We can play something else."

"Can we go play in the courtyard? Father is visiting the kingdom. He won't know of it."

Knowing what the King can do, you didn't want to put Jungkook in trouble. Even if a single soul caught you outside of your chamber, you could face the King's wrath. But you could handle it, the 7 year old could not.

"Jungkook, you know I cannot. Let us play something else, yes?"

"I am the Prince, I promise you father would never know." He said haughtily.

"But you would get into big trouble." You sighed, trying to convince the little boy.

"I have people to protect me, do not worry."

"Against your father? I don't think so, Prince."

He shook his head, "I have people to protect me against anyone in this world."

"Jung-"

"No! You are playing hide and seek with me and I won't hear anymore from you."

You held the Prince's shoulders, trying to stop him from throwing a tantrum, "What if the King hurts you? What will I do then?"

He laughed, "He will be killed before he touches me."

You furrow your eyebrows, who would be foolish enough to kill a man like that? But then again, Jungkook was the future of the Jeon Empire. He must definitely have loyal guards.

"Are you sure about this? If we get caught, you say nothing. I would take the blame on me, alright?"

He nodded, "Yes! I am more than sure."

"Then let us play in the courtyard for an hour or so."

He jumped off of your lap in excitement, almost stumbling and falling. But he caught himself just in time.

"Try and catch me." You said, getting up from the window sill and running outside your chamber.

You knew the palace well enough to navigate through the confusing corridors. Somehow, it was exactly like the recurring dream you have about the non-existent prince and his dog, Bam.

The two of you laughed as you ran through the hallways of the palace. Mindfulness was long forgotten as your voices echoed. Everyone who crossed your paths didn't bother you when they saw the Prince running with you.

"Alright, do you want to hide?" You asked as you both reached the courtyard.

"Yes, but promise you won't peek." He said, clearly having experienced dishonesty while playing this game before.

"I won't, do not worry. I will count to 50, that is enough time for you to hide." He nodded as you closed your eyes and faced a large tree.

Time passed and you played with the child for more than an hour, after which you retired back to your chamber.

You were tired to say the least. Following a bath, you cuddled up to a large cushion, your hair still slightly wet. And as per usual, thoughts flooded your mind. Thoughts which made you cry out in pain.

Every single one of them consisted of your lover. The image of his smile as King Jeon pushed the sword deeper was etched into your brain.

You regretted meeting Taehyung. It was his fault you learned how to dream. It was his fault you dreamt of a better life, a life with just him and you. But it was your fault you held him with you. You were curious what love was, so you held onto him with everything you had.

Love always leads to misfortune. You never believed it existed until you met him. But seeing how the two of you ended, proved to be a constant reminder that it shouldn't exist. Love seemed much better when you thought it was a myth.

Your thoughts were cut off by the sound of the door opening. You looked out the window, it was dark outside. You knew who it was and you were ready to do anything to stop him from doing as he wished.

"Today was really tiring." He said, closing the door. You didn't move at all and stayed facing away from him.

You felt the bed dip behind you but you still didn't move. But you did visibly flinch at his touch on your shoulder. His large hand rubbed against your upper arm.

"All of my subjects adore me, tell me, why is it that you tremble at my touch? Perhaps the excitement?" He laughed.

"Stop being delusional." You whispered.

"What was that?" His aged ears did not pick up your words.

"I said, stop being delusional." You said in a firm tone, getting up from the bed and stepping away from it.

The King looked up at you and his laughter grew in volume. He was clearly entertained by your withdrawal.

His laughter seized and his gaze turned dark, "Delusional? My Queen, you are the one deluding yourself. You thought you could live a perfect life with that lad? He used you for money and pleasure."

"Get lost, I plead with you. Do not speak a single word about him. He never wanted me for my money. He was a real man, unlike you." You were agitated by his words. Your voice trembled with anger, yet you tried to keep a strong expression.

He got up from your bed and walked towards you, "You have not given me a chance to prove myself yet, have you now?"

"Leave." You gritted, hands clenched into fists.

His tall and wide frame towered above yours, "Oh, what if I don't, what if I..." He raised his hand to touch your cheek but you swatted it away.

"You are fucking disgusting."

The King turned his head to the side and let out a bitter chuckle. Without a word, he turned around and walked out of your chamber leaving you trembling with fear and anger all over.

Your labored breaths slowed down. You were supposed to hold on till someone rescued you, but he made it increasingly difficult to do so.

You laid on the cold bed. Hatred was boiling inside of you. How you wished Taehyung was there to comfort you, guide you through it all. You were tired but it seemed sleep evaded you.

On nights like these, you always imagined Taehyung was holding you tight and secure. You had never gotten a chance to sleep with him overnight, but your imagination proved to be a good companion.

You sighed, letting your tears fall once again, "I hate you so much for leaving." You whispered to your imaginary Taehyung.

You felt so broken, so cursed. Your own skin felt foreign.

"I suppose I have to hold on... for you."

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"I am the undefeated Jeon Jungkook." The little child jumped around waving his wooden sword. His energy truly surprised you. Maybe you were just lazy but the boy played from sunrise to sunset and he still wished to play more.

You were sitting on a bench in the courtyard. The cherry blossom trees overhead provided enough shade for you to relax. Jungkook was fighting with the falling pink leaves.

It had been exactly 2 months since your wedding day. Spring had almost come to an end. The Korean Peninsula experienced a monsoon which seemed to be arriving soon considering the wind. You remembered when your father taught you about various seasons across the world. You didn't find the information interesting, always leaning more towards human anatomy and science.

You could see Jungkook's caretaker arriving in a hurry. You weren't afraid of being spotted by her outside of your room, she was the type to scold you for it but would never tell the King. The frail lady was Yoongi’s mother and you could see the resemblance in her cat-like eyes.

It wasn’t long ago when you had first met her. She had approached you with a stoic face, similar to that of Yoongi, but she was the sweetest woman you had met. She introduced herself as Mrs. Min, caretaker of the youngest child of the Jeon family.

Immediately you asked if she knew Yoongi, to which she hesitated to answer. After a bit of coercion, she admitted she was the mother of a traitor. She was ashamed of her son but knew he had his own reasons to rebel. You could tell she loved him dearly. She was taken aback when you embraced her and said that Yoongi was a brave person and fought for what he believed.

"My Prince, my Queen..." The old woman bowed.

You pressed your lips together and gave her a small nod in return, "What is it, Mrs. Min?"

"If I may, Eunuch Kang has requested the little Prince's presence." She said. Her small and wrinkly smile seemed the most trustworthy in the entire palace.

Eunuch Kang, though, always seemed a little too suspicious. Always keeping an eye on everything and everyone, supporting the Emperor's evil deeds and always advising him to do the cruelest thing possible.

"I shall be back Y/n, wait for me." Jungkook said, handing you his sword.

"You must not call her by her name, she is your mother." His caretaker gasped.

"Alright then, I shall be back, mother." Jungkook's tone made you silently laugh a little. He didn't want to call you his mother, but he had to in front of everyone.

You waved with a smile until Jungkook and Mrs.Min were out of sight.

It had been so long since you had been alone with nature. You decided to take a walk barefoot to feel the grass between your toes.

There were all kinds of flowers, trees and herbs in the garden. There was a tiny path amongst the herbs through which you decided to stroll.

You enjoyed the walk until you found yourself in an unfamiliar part of the garden. The palace grounds were vast and intricate, making it easy to lose your way. They were connected to various training areas, lakes and even a forest.

You had no intent to escape, though. Where would you escape to? All you knew was the capital city of Hanseong. Hypothetically, you would have to travel a distance of 150 km to escape the Jeon Empire. Even then, there was no guarantee that the border guards would let you pass.

Your eyes sparkled when you spotted a rare imported herb, saffron. These weren't naturally grown in your country, and this was the first time you saw a saffron plant. You squatted down to get a better look at the delicate flowers.

“You should get a better grip on the sword.” You heard a faint voice from a distance. The person was with someone else, you could tell. Your hands subconsciously touched the flowers as you heard their conversation. Maybe you could find some crucial information, you thought.

“How are you so good with the bow and not the sword, Jimin?” The same voice groaned.

The second person, supposedly Jimin seemed extremely annoyed, “I do not fucking care, I am leaving.”

You were so focused on the conversation, you failed to notice the increasingly clouded sky overhead. The clouds were already full and ready to pour.

You slowly walked to the direction of the voices, mindful not to step on dried leaves. As you drew closer, the figures came into view—a young man, possibly Jimin, and another whose face you couldn't quite see.

Quickly, you ducked behind a nearby tree, peering out cautiously. The branches provided a decent cover, allowing you to observe without being noticed.

Jimin was visibly frustrated, pacing back and forth, while the other person, a taller, stern-looking man, tried to reason with him. The wind picked up, rustling the leaves, but you remained perfectly still, straining to catch every word.

Your breath caught as the man turned around, revealing his face and his topless torso. His toned muscles glistened with sweat under the clouded sky. He held a sword with effortless grace, the weapon gleaming in the dim light.

You couldn't help but admire his chiseled features and strong arms, a testament to years of rigorous training. His strong jawline moved as he spoke to Jimin. His dark, obsidian hair fell in damp strands over his forehead, and his doe eyes, which reminded you of the little Prince, were focused on his comrade, a mix of frustration and concern evident in his gaze.

You tore your eyes away, feeling your cheeks warm. But curiosity killed the cat, and you were much like one. Your curiousity always led to trouble, you knew it. It was best to leave, you thought.

The downpour was relentless, you tried your best to see ahead. The smell of fresh rain filled your senses. The entire garden turned into a muddy mess not long after. You needed to find shelter, the trees weren't much help.

However, in your hurry, you slipped, and fell knee first on the ground, letting out a squeal. Not your best moments, you could say. Great, your hanbok was dirty, you were drenched and lost, and now you were probably bleeding.

“Fuck, what are you doing here?” A voice called out, concerned yet surprised. And now you were caught.

You looked up to see the topless soldier from earlier, his eyes wide with alarm. Before you could say anything, he swiftly picked you up, one hand under your knees and one around your back. You gasped, instinctively wrapped your arms around his neck for support.

“We need to get you out of this rain.” He yelled over the loud thrumming of rain. He carried you as if you weighed nothing. He moved quickly through the muddy garden, his steps confident and sure despite the slippery ground. Within moments, he reached a nearby stable.

He was barely panting as he let you down on your feet. You could sense him staring at you with his round eyes as you shivered due to the awfully cool climate. His presence, though casual, brought a strange sense of comfort amid the chaos.

"Who are you?" You looked at his drenched form, mirroring yours. The only thing that differed was his bare torso. A sudden realization made fear shoot through every nerve of your body. He seemed to be a commander of higher rank and you just made him save your clumsy self from the rain. What if he tells the emperor? You could be put to death for just being here.

"I am sorry but you need to be more aware of your surroundings." He said trying to sound nonchalant. He could see the fear in your eyes but chose to ignore it. Did he scare you?

"I-I'll keep that in mind." You bowed fervently.

"Jungkook..."

"What?" You tilted your head in confusion.

"I am Jungkook, Jeon Jungkook." Prince Jungkook?

You chuckled, “Ofcourse you are.” You rubbed your arms briskly to generate some warmth.

He furrowed his eyebrows, “What do you mean?”

“You are not Prince Jungkook. But you do look like him, I must admit.” You removed the outer coat of your hanbok, the wet clothing being a bit too uncomfortable.

“Why do you think that, my Queen?” He was amused.

“Because, you are not Jungkook. He is the 7 year old Prince of the Jeon Empire.” You pressed.

His amusement reached new levels, “That little kid? You think he is Jeon Jungkook?”

“Yes! Are you jesting me?” You looked at his very, very familiar face. It was as if you had seen him a million times, but you hadn't. Keeping your eyes on him was dangerous territory, yet you couldn't help but continually glance at him.

“I need to have a talk with him.” He laughed.

You raised your eyebrows, “You sure do have some arrogance.” How could a soldier like him stand on equal grounds with the Prince?

“Why is it arrogant to have a talk with my baby brother?” He folded his arms over his chest, biceps flexing as he did so.

“B-Brother? He is surely not-” You had second thoughts, though. His eyes? “Oh, his cousin?” you asked.

He shook his head, “I hope not. We are siblings.”

Surely the man was lying. How did you not know about the existence of another Prince, who could be the heir to the Jeon Empire? But then again, you didn't know the younger Prince existed until a few weeks ago.

You cleared your throat, you were still the Queen, you had superiority, you needn't be afraid, “And your name is?”

“I was not lying when I said I was Jeon Jungkook.” The corner of his mouth lifted slightly.

“You are not Jungkook.” Your mind was processing a million things at the moment. If the man in front of you was Jungkook, who was the child you had befriended?

As if he could hear your thoughts, he answered, “I am the heir to the throne, Prince Jungkook. And the kid, he's my brother, Jeon Junghyun.”

[whaleofatjme1920]

My Version of Eyeless Jack

So, there's no cohesive narrative here I just wanted to infodump a bunch of stuff about how I write my EJ. I'll put it in headcanon form but know whenever you read my newer EJ fics (or whenever I get an inkling to talk about him), this is exactly how I envision him and want him to be seen as.

EJ grew up in a Polish somewhat American household. He's a second generation, with his parents both being from Poland and most of their extended family in the old country. His mother is from a smaller city in the southwest, and his father from Krakow. His mother instilled in him a deep love of the natural world, and a hunger for learning.

Jack's obsession for medicine and whatnot came up because his father was just a bit insane about keeping him healthy. Any cough or sneeze was instantly investigated. He was a bit sheltered in that sense, and was prone to sneaking out to experience a normal adolescence and whatnot as he grew up.

While Jack is not averse to getting his hands dirty and doing jobs no one else would even THINK of, he's still gotta go through a full cleansing and decontamination when he's done.

I like to think that, as a kid, he was deeply in love with Slavic mythology and he was, surprise surprise, really into Chernobog. That wasn't Chernobog whispering in his ear he was just always interested whether he realized it or not. This kinda faded out around 12 years old but as a guy that's literally possessed by him now, fused to make an entirely new being, he finds it just a hair ironic.

Yeah, he did have to go to Polish school on the weekends. Sometimes he loved it, other times not at all.

He was his parents only child so he was kind of under a magnifying glass from them both.

He was actually quite close with his grandmothers!

Jack has always had a biting, sarcastic wit. He can balance professionalism with clinical sarcasm fantastically. His humor is very deadpan and he'll dupe you multiple times if you're not careful.

Jack doesn't always understand why people insist on social politeness. He actually favors bluntness, but will be polite if the situation calls for it.

He has three tongues. Yes, he's choked on them before. This mostly happened in the beginning when he was first getting used to his new body.

He doesn't like sweet foods, but certain organs are sweeter to him than others. He can't quite explain that, but he favors certain parts of people over others.

He can eat human food, but it's like junk food for him. He will always need to feast on humans from time to time to keep himself well. Also this is NOT a constant thing with him. He has like a major feeding once or twice a month, and smaller feedings ever 7-10 days. He can get by just fine, he's not always starving.

Most of his work is him just preparing in case he's in a situation he can't hunt.

His body can heal at an accelerated rate!

Because he's possessed by/permanently fused with Chernobog, he has 'starfish' tendencies. Meaning, if he loses a finger, in about 6 months he'll have a new one. Anything bigger might take years but he's never been in a situation where that's needed to happen. This does not mean he's invincible.

Slender Man, who has been around for way longer than any of us can conceive, finds it funny that Chernobog is fused with a socially awkward young man who couldn't even ask a girl out normally and forewent his survival instinct just to hang out with her.

Slender Man, when just with Jack, will speak with him in Polish or older forms of Slavic languages when more directly addressing Chernobog.

Jack is physically HUGE. He's like 6'8, because his merging made him bigger. He was already tall at 5'10, but Chernobog required a bigger vessel. So, he painfully grew bigger. He's quite muscular, not overtly so but you know he has physical strength.

He's,,,,, human-like in appearance. Gives off uncanny valley at times.

He's actually quite funny and does take some joy in making people laugh.

He's not besties with Jeff but they are, more often than not, together doing things.

He actually prefers Jane's company!

It takes so, so long to gain his actual trust. He has varying levels of it, like anyone else, but it's difficult to even breach his first layer.

Has a deep fondness for birds, specifically vultures.

Doesn't like dogs. He has never liked dogs. Smile is his one and only exception. Does like cats.

His body has a stupid tattoo on his thigh he got when drunk one night at uni. He's still mildly embarrassed by it.

He occasionally smokes weed.

He won't admit it, but anyone that looks like Jenny brings back terrible, terrible memories. When he was younger, those types of women used to trigger panic attacks. He's much better now, but seeing women that look like her make him very uncomfortable.

He doesn't enjoy strong smelling perfumes or colognes. He thinks the scents themselves are nice, but they give him migraines. His sense of smell is very strong and well.

He can actually function quite well in normal society, he just doesn't physically fit the image. And even using his glamour-he sticks out from his height alone.

Jack wouldn't say this to anyone, but he sometimes hangs around in his glamour just to remember what he used to look like before. It's not a 100% match, but he sees himself as older. A bit more jaded and weathered. He wonders what would have happened if he listened to his roommate and didn't go.

[writeandsurvive]

Through it all ~ Manny Perez

Author's note: first work for Captain Perez from Fire Country! this show became my absolute fav, and I have a soft spot for Manny! I hope there are several others like me out there! Summary: Pregnancy scare leads to a long awaited convo and decisions Warnings: age gap, pregnancy (talk), kinda smut towards the end

Keeping a relationship secret in a small town like Edgewater isn’t an easy thing to do. Especially when you’ve lived there most of your life and know basically everyone. Even more when the person you are dating works for Cal Fire and more specifically, is the Captain of Three Rock. But somehow, you and Manny Perez managed to do it. For almost two years. 

At first, keeping it a secret was the best thing to do, for everyone. You were quite younger than Manny, became friends with his daughter Gabriela, and so close to the Leones, you feel like one of them. You grew up with Bode and Riley, making Vince and Sharon your surrogate parents. Manny respects them way too much to do anything to jeopardize his friendship with them. After all, he considers that Sharon saved his life when she welcomed him into Three Rock several years ago, allowing him to turn his life around.

But time went by. You and Manny were very much in love, becoming pretty serious. Or so you thought, until that day when everything came crashing down. 

You thought you were pregnant. Your period was late, which never happens. You felt tired, your breasts were hurting. This could’ve been just PMS symptoms but something didn’t feel like it was. You thought about getting a pregnancy test, but you knew everyone at the pharmacy. So, you ordered it online and the next day, there it was.

A part of you wanted to do this with Manny, but you were also scared. The baby (and wedding) talk was something that has been avoided through the entire relationship. Him being older, having a grown up daughter, being divorced… Did he want to do it all over again? The most likely answer was no. And this would’ve put an end to your relationship cause you didn’t imagine your life without kids. Weddings could be discussed. 

So, you did the test. Set the alarm for a few minutes, and waited. 

Negative. 

You cried. Bawled, actually. If you put aside what could go wrong with this, you wanted a baby. A part of you hoped you were pregnant. You loved Manny with all your heart, you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. You wanted to carry his child. 

You don’t remember how long you stayed in the bathroom crying. But it was long enough for Manny to come in, find you in there and ask what was wrong, as he held you close to his chest. 

“I thought I was pregnant and we were gonna have a baby” You admitted through the tears, pointing at the test sitting on the sink. 

Manny didn’t react immediately. Your face was still hiding in his neck, so you couldn’t see his face. He stayed silent for a long time, just holding you, kissing the top of your head. But you could hear his heart beating faster. Was this a good sign?

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He whispered.

“We never talked about this. I didn’t know how you’d react. I still don’t, actually.”

He stayed silent again. So, you had to ask. 

“Are you sad or relieved that I’m not pregnant, Manny?”

“I don’t know.” He continued to hold you but the long silence afterwards broke your heart more than those words did. 

That led to the worst weeks ever. You had the baby talk, and Manny admitted that he didn’t know if he wanted another child or not. “I’m old enough to be a grandpa.” He kept repeating. Technically, that was true. But you never cared about his age. You would try to kiss him and playfully joke that he’d be a sexy young grandpa but deep down you could see the doubt in his mind growing more and more as he became increasingly distant.

He cared about your age.

Eventually, the answer was no. He didn’t want any more kids. He didn’t want to get married again. And you didn’t see your life without kids. There was no compromise possible. So, you broke up. Your heart shattered and your bed always felt cold now without him there every night.

The rough part of this breakup was having to hide how broken-hearted you were. No one knew, and there was no point to them knowing now. You had to pretend. And so had Manny. Everytime you ran into him, you stared at each other like two lost puppies. It was surprising that no one noticed. You were not okay, and neither was he. 

Whenever you saw him at Smokey’s, having a drink - by himself or with someone - you approached him softly, touching his arm or shoulder if he was seated. “How many?” You’d gently asked. His past struggle with alcohol worried you. 

“Not many, don’t worry, cariño.” He’d smiled. You believed him.

At some point, pretending was just too much, so you found an arrangement with your job to work remotely and left Edgewater to visit family many miles away. You stayed there for several weeks. You needed to cut it off to get over Manny. Not that you actually believed that you could. 

When you came back to town, you gave a heads up to Vince and Sharon only. And of course, they immediately invited you over for dinner. You were only slightly better, and had started accepting the breakup. Avoiding Manny a little more should help. 

That was until you saw him at the Leone's house. In his Cal Fire comfy clothes, sitting on the couch with Vince as they watched some sports. Did they invite him too?

Vince immediately jumped off the couch to hug you, your feet no longer touching the floor. “I missed you sweetie.” He kissed your forehead. 

“I missed you too, Vince.”

Manny hadn’t moved from the couch, clearly as shocked as you by the encounter. You slowly approached him as he stood up, and hugged each other awkwardly. He looked like he hasn’t slept in weeks, maybe dropped a few pounds too. His scent immediately intoxicated you. Could this hug last forever? 

“Manny is staying with us, so he’ll join us for dinner.”

Staying with them? You clearly missed something while you were gone. 

While Vince helped Sharon in the kitchen, you and Manny sat down on the couch. “Why are you staying with them?” You asked. 

“It’s—“ he cleared his throat. “A long story. Don’t worry about it. How was your vacation?”

“It wasn’t a vaca— don’t change the subject, Manny. What’s going on?”

The Leones came back with some drinks, to Manny’s relief. But you were not giving up. 

It was hard to focus on the Leones and what they were saying, no matter how interesting, or intriguing it was. You couldn’t take your eyes and mind off Manny, who stayed pretty silent the entire evening. When there was a moment of silence during dinner, you lost control of your own mouth. 

“You’re catching me up with everything that happened in town, except for the most evident thing.” You stared at Manny. “Is there a big secret you’re all keeping from me that I’m not supposed to know about?”

Vince and Sharon looked at each other before looking at Manny. Clearly, it was his decision to explain or keep it a secret. 

“It’s not like nobody knows,” Sharon said. 

“It’s also not that easy to admit what a screw up I am, especially to–” Manny let go of his fork and stood up, “Excuse me.” You all watched him as he left the house. 

You didn’t think for too long before standing up too and following him outside. He was sitting in his car, engine on. You opened the passenger door and joined him inside.

“Going somewhere?”

He huffed. “Like I have somewhere else to go.”

“My place?” You offered.

“We broke up.”

“Doesn’t make us strangers, does it?”

He leaned his forehead against the steering wheel, so you moved on the edge of your seat to get closer, and ran your hand through his messy hair. He only tilted his head to the side to take a look at you. “Talk to me, amor.” you whispered.

“I handled our break up poorly,” the volume of his voice met yours. “I didn’t handle it at all, actually.” his eyes started to fill with tears. “At first, I just wanted to take my mind off things– off you. It was to be one night, one game. But I won, and wanted to win more. And it was sorta working, you know? As I was playing, I wasn’t focusing on you, on us, on how unfair this is.” A single tear started to roll down his cheeks. “I’ve lost everything. My money, Gabriela’s money, my house, my insurance. And on top of that, I don’t have you anymore either.” He sat back properly on his seat, taking a few deep breaths. “I’m a fucking mess.”

You held his hand for a brief moment, before pulling on it so he would get closer. His face rested on your chest, he was trying really hard not to cry too much. On the other hand, tears were rolling down your cheeks. 

“It doesn’t matter what our relationship is, you’ll always have me, Manny. Through it all.” You kiss the top of his head, “I’ll help you get back on your feet.”

He immediately sat back up, like we triggered him. “I’m not taking money from you. I already owe 10,000 bucks to Vince.”

“Fine, but that’s not what I was talking about. Are you getting professional help?”

“Not yet, I–”

“Then you will. If staying with Vince and Sharon suits you, then stay there. Otherwise, you know my door is open. How’s your relationship with Gabs?”

“Stop it. This is not up to you to fix me. I’m a grown man, I can do this by myself.”

“It wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t broken up.”

“We wouldn’t have broken up, if I agreed to have kids.”

“But you don’t and that’s okay. I get it.”

“Good, cause I don’t. What if I’m missing my second chance in life? What if–” he looked straight into your eyes, “I’m missing my one true chance at happiness?”

Manny Perez went through so many bad things over the years. Being a quite young dad, prison, money issues, rocky relationship with Gabriela’s mother leading to a bad divorce, alcoholism and now the break up and gambling. This man is one of the best humans you’ve ever met, but life keeps throwing curve balls at him. He deserves the world, and all you want is to give it to him. 

You didn’t have any words at this very moment. All you wanted was to hold him, kiss him and never let go. So that was exactly what you did. You moved as close as possible to him, grabbed him by his neck and planted your lips on his. You were both needy, like two junkies getting their fix. While never stopping the kiss, you found yourself straddling his lap before you realized. 

“Te quiero,” you whispered between kisses. It drives Manny crazy whenever you talk in Spanish to him. 

“Yo te quiero mas.” 

His hands were all over you, and yours all over him. Manny buried his face in your neck, kissing and sucking on your sensitive spot only he knows so well, earning a moan from you. 

Neither of you saw nor heard Vince getting out of the house, until he knocked at the car’s window. You immediately jumped off Manny, trying to make yourself presentable. Manny tried to hide his growing erection the best he could before opening the window. 

“How long?” was the first thing Vince asked.

“Two years.” Manny answered. “But it’s–over,”

Vince couldn’t help but smirk. “Oh, is it?”

“It’s complicated, V.” you said, “Do you need something?”

“At this very moment, answers. But I suppose I’ll have to wait. Are you sleeping here tonight, Cap, or–somewhere else?”

You and Manny looked at each other for a moment. 

“I have custody for the night.” You tried to joke. 

“Don’t feed him after midnight.” Vince bent over a little to kiss our forehead before leaving. 

“Drive us home, Gizmo. We need to talk.”

“Alright, but drop the joke right now.”

He knew you better than that.

The ride was silent. Both in your own thoughts. 

Manny didn’t get out of the car when he pulled over at your place, but got him to follow you inside in the end. He had barely taken off his shoes, that your arms were around his middle, and you tiptoed to kiss his lips. 

“This is probably not a good idea, cariño.” He said, even though he intensified the kiss. 

“I honestly don’t care right now.” 

You walked backwards to your bedroom while still kissing each other, and Manny didn’t fight for even a second. He gently laid you down on the bed, getting on top of you. It didn’t take long until clothes were flying across the room. “I missed you.” He confessed, touching you everywhere he could. “Why did you leave?”

“It was too hard staying here, seeing you almost everyday. I had to get some distance, to process and accept.”

His strong naked body was covering yours. His hard cock was pressing against your wet pussy. His forehead against yours, his nose stroking yours, he softly asked, “And did you?”

“Does it look like I did?”

He chuckled and you kissed his dimple. “I need you, Manny.”

“Need you more.” On those words, he slowly entered you. 

Sex with Manny has always been amazing since the first time. He was your perfect match, and you were his. You discovered several things with him, and you both tried new things together. And every single time was mind blowing. But that night wasn’t about that. That night, he made love to you, like it was the last time ever. It felt both amazing and heartbreaking. 

But it couldn’t be the last time. 

“Maybe I don’t need kids to be happy.” You said as you were both lying down and cuddling. “Maybe I just need you.”

Manny didn’t react immediately. You could hear he was taking deep breaths, probably trying to get a hold on his emotions. After several seconds, he rolled to the side and rested on his elbow. “No.” He just said. 

“No?” You looked at him, confused. 

“You want kids. You want to be a mom. I’ve seen you with kids, I’ve seen you cry when the test came back negative.”

“But the thing is I don’t want kids with someone other than you.” Your tone was sharp, because you were getting angry. Why was he fighting on this? This was your decision. 

“For now.” 

“For fuck sake’s, Manny! I know what I want and don’t want, okay? I’d rather be with you, and not have kids, than be with someone else and have kids with them.” 

“You’re sacrificing yourself.”

“I’m making a choice. I’m choosing you.”

His voice broke. “Why would you do that?”

“Because I love you, Manuel Perez.” You stroked his cheek, “Sorry. Manuel Gizmo Perez.”

He laughed and kissed you. 

~

Over the next weeks, Manny went to counseling with your support. For everyone - especially Gabriela -, he was still living with the Leones, but the reality was he spent all of his nights at your place, where he belonged. He still refused your money, but got a second job on a boat to help pay his debts. It didn’t give him a lot of free time or even time to rest, so you tried to make it as easy as possible for him. You made sure he ate properly, slept the bare minimum, you even helped with Three Rock paperwork. 

“She’s my rock, Vince.” He admitted to his friend, as they were having a drink together. “She’s been amazing to me and I can’t even—get her something. Invite her to a restaurant, a gate away or something.” 

“That’ll come, man. For now, all she needs is for you to be okay.” 

“I have to say I’m surprised you didn’t kick my ass when you found out. I know you love her like your own daughter.”

“I do. To be honest, Shar and I have been suspicious for a while, and we agree she can’t find a better man than you. I mean, we’ve met her exes—“ he laughed and Manny joined. 

“Doesn't the age difference—shock you?”

“You’re both grown adults. But can I say something you may not enjoy hearing?”

“Go ahead, Chief.”

“She’s meant to be a mom.”

Vince didn’t know how right he was. But you and Manny agreed you wouldn’t tell anyone about the pregnancy before he told Gabriela. 

“How was lunch with Vince?” You asked as Manny came back home. 

“Nice. I got you those wings and spicy sauce you’ve been craving.” He handed you the brown bag, and you got excited about eating the wings. “I still think it’s a bad idea for you to eat the sauce, amor. You can’t stand spice.”

“Clearly, the baby isn’t aware of that.” 

Manny disappeared in the kitchen and came back with a big glass of milk. “Just in case.”

“Thanks guapo.”

He sat next to you, you kissed him briefly before attacking your food. 

“You didn’t tell him anything, did you?”

“Was hard not to, cause he brought it up. But I want to talk to Gabby first.”

“When are you planning to tell her?” You asked, with your mouth full. 

“Tonight. I told her I’d stop by her place.”

The spices were hitting up. You were sticking out your tongue like a dog, and trying to create some air with your hands. Manny laughed and grabbed the milk for you. “Told you.” You started to drink some milk and your boyfriend got closer, leaning down to be right next to your stomach. “You can’t do this to your mama, baby. But clearly, you’re a Latino.” 

“He or she is a Perez.” You said between sips.

“Maybe mama should be a Perez too.” He said with a huge grin on his face. 

[duusheen]

oc deep dive with hope pollock! 😤 thank you for the tag @theosconfessions and @bloomingkyras <3

What uncommon/common fear do they have? Being alone, I guess. Hope has this romantic and idealized view of love because her parents have been together for so long that she grew up with it and she's like "wow, I want that too", so that's why she stayed with Danny all this time (because let's face it, everyone could see it except her)

Do they have any pet peeves? The lack of commitment. She simply detests people who are not capable of committing to their loved ones. In part, I guess it's because she is too compliant. She gives her all without expecting anything in return and sometimes people take advantage of her

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom? Lots and lots of cat toys, her clothes on the floor and chairs (that's my messy girl) and probably a cat sleeping on top of the clothes.

What do they notice first in a person? She usually judges people by the way they treat others, especially girls 👀

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance? Meh, 4. She is the first daughter of a teen couple and the ultimate daddy's girl. Jay and Miracle practically wrapped her in bubble wrap for her entire life. Hope was protected by her parents much more than her sisters, and her tolerance for anything that hurts her is really low

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? I'd say she would fight? but seeing that she found Danny with his lover and ran straight to her parents' house… lol. She's definitely the kind of girl who would disappear without even leaving a note. "I don't like this bye" kinda girl.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person? It depends on what is considered a "big family". She has three sisters, but her grandpa had 6 children, so you could say almost lol. That said, she is a family girl. If it were up to her, she would build a house on her parents' ranch and live there until she's old and gray.

What animal represents them best? A penguin? 😂🐧

What is a smell that they dislike? The smell of the disinfectant they use at the vet to clean the floors 🤢

Have they broken any bones? Never. I don't think she even scraped her knee as a child 🙄

How would a stranger likely describe them? I guess shy. But if the person in front of her shows up with an animal, Hope immediately becomes all chatty and excited. Nothing like a pet to break the ice (honestly me)

Are they a night owl or a morning bird? morning bird. Her routine starts every day at 6:00 a.m.

What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love? She likes the deep taste of black coffee, and hates anything bitter.

Do they have any hobbies? Whenever she has a free moment, she likes to sit down and browse the Simflix catalog because her favorite thing is to sit and watch series.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises? She would smile, pretend she's grateful for a total of five minutes and then hide in the bathroom to mentally prepare herself to be the center of attention until the party ends. After that, she'd probably relax and be okay.

Do they like to wear jewelry? She has her grandma Daphne's silver rings. She never goes anywhere without them; they're her lucky charm :')

Do they have neat or messy handwriting? Her handwriting was pretty neat in school, but now it's just a mess.

What are two emotions they feel the most? Inadequate and tired, as if she's trying to catch up with everyone's expectations.

Do they have a favorite fabric? Leather 😳. Not for anything special, but because it's the fabric where cat hair sticks the least.

What kind of accent do they have? She grew up on a ranch in Chestnut Ridge, so I like to think she has the sexiest country accent 😌

i tag: @aurorangen @theosconfessions (gimme some blake info please i miss him 👀) @ktysh @cupidszone @akitasimblr @awkwardwhims @aliengirl but feel free to ignore 😁💖

[ravel-puzzlewell]

imagine if writers gave a single fuck about wyll tho. man, there is so much potential. like i think he has THE most interesting and potentially complex setup out of all characters.

like, he's a son of a duke and a legend, a national hero. he was raised on these legends, in a culture of hero worship, and on "principles of valor" that he says his father taught him. of course he grew up wanting to be a hero. no, not just wanting, EXPECTING it. he jumped into water on his birthday bc he thought he saw a mermaid. he saw himself as the Main Character of a story, probably not even as much in a hubris way, but in a "this is very minimum i HAVE to be to live up to my distant father's legacy". but also OF COURSE he's also deep down scared he that isn't good enough to live up to this legacy. he knows he's not perfect. what if he won't be strong enough? he learns to show this bravado of a golden child, of obvious hero in the making, masking his insecurities.

and then he receives a dream and literal hero's call to action. of course he listens. this is just like the stories. btw i have to admit i disagree completely with game's framing of his decision as actually the only way to save the city. he was left in charge of the entire military forces! He could have just. NOT go alone, and a squadron of flaming fists would have steamrolled these like 20 cultists. imagine if you heard that head of military of your country received anonymous call and actually went alone to the meeting. it's a very bad tactical decision.

this is not an attack on wyll, btw, he was a literal child primed to be a hero. this should have been critique of his father, who raised him in this way and then left 17 yo in charge of city's defenses, AND of the entire culture of hero worship. wyll wasn't ready to be a leader who thinks in terms of resources he has, he was not raised for this. he was a kid under the weight of expectations who thought being a hero is THE only correct way and that being a martyr is what a hero should choose. he NEEDED to become a hero, but didn't have enough power, and so when the way to obtain that power was given to them that he could frame as martyring himself, of course he took it. this was not his fault, but its a tragedy bc this was always going to end like this. the deal with the devil is just the most blatant metaphor for making bargains with consciousness bc you think you can do more good with the power and this is the only way, bc you're not strong enough by yourself.

also, in this hypothetical rewrite since duke ravenguard is supposed to be like. an actually good person whos distant, but loving of his child, and not a convenient cardboard cutout, he doesn't throw wyll out. he listens to him. he realizes this tragedy and takes responsibility for his own part in it. he says i'm sorry i failed you, my son. but wyll cannot be an heir anymore, not under the infernal thumb. he's removed from his position. and he can't take it! first of all, he can't agree with his father that he made a wrong choice as a leader. he sacrificed himself! thats what heroes do! and his father didn't fail, this is all mizora's fault! and now he has to endure the humiliation of nobles gossiping and snickering, speculating what the golden child did that was so bad for his father to remove him from flaming fists leadership? it's unbearable. so he runs away by himself.

he constructs this persona of Blade of the Frontiers, this folksy hero, hides his infernal contract. He believes he was right and he believes this is part of a story. He will become famous as his own hero, not under his father's shadow, and he will find a way to break contract, and then he will return to his home, triumphant, and his father will realize he was wrong and be finally proud of wyll. All of misery, fear, loneliness, humiliation, anxiety, terrible shit mizora inflicts on him will be worth it as long as Blade of the Frontiers remains a perfect image, and so he hides all of this. He dissociates. He is literally processing his life in terms of the Blade of the Frontiers' narrative, first thing he thinks is how he will frame\describe things for his books.

and then mizora turns him into a devil. this throws him into crisis, bc his perfect image of Blade of the Frontiers is threatened, he can't spin it into existing narrative, everything he went through will be for nothing!

when mizora offers him a second deal, one of the clauses is turning back to human. he can go back. he can be a perfect hero, Blade of the Frontiers once again, and no one will know his shame, and he will save his father and his father will be proud of him, and he can feel pained pride at being a martyr, at giving a sacrifice once again AND validated that his choice was right. he keeps playing a vigilante, larping as princess bride's westley and writing books about the manicured, idolized version of himself, while behind the scenes sliding more and more into corruption, making deals with consciousness that its fine to do things mizora asks, which keep getting worse and worse, little by little, because heroic deeds he'll do with gained power will outweigh it.

OR he can go through painful realization that living like a hero in a story does NOT mean making best choices. that he was not ready to be in charge of the city years ago. that whats important is achieving the goal, not being a saviour, and that he can ask others for help. he had flaming fists before. he has a party of manchkins who steamrolled several god's chosen now. he might not be powerful enough by himself, but he has resources. he doesn't need to sacrifice himself for that strength. he refuses the deal and saves his father by himself, still looking like a devil. the perfect image of a folksy hero is no longer salvageable, but he doesn't need it anymore. he learns to live with the consequences and stop hiding his scars, and he steps back to his place as the duke's heir, not just a hero, but as a leader first.