#I have a complicated theory about why david is like this vs how carlitaverse javid would be in the same scenario

[epersonae]

Part of me wants to have simply written this and not ever say any more about it

Part of me wants to just post the "started making it/had a breakdown/bon appetit" image and a link

Like, I've never written actual goddamn RPF before, 90k+ of whatever the fuck for the benefit of all the broken hearts and its associated works are aside; it's still strange and uncomfortable to me to write fiction (porn even!) about real people

And also - some variant of this idea has been rattling around in my head since at least March 2023 (which is when I made a note in the paper notebook I keep in my living room), and probably longer than that, tbh; to steal an image from @chaotic-neutral-knitter:

And then, one day last week, I had this weird dream about reading an interview with David Jenkins, or maybe hearing about an interview? Either way, I remember nothing of the details of the dream interview, only waking up from the dream with the distinct thought "djenks in the cuck chair" and the first draft of the first two paragraphs of what became this:

apparatus theory (E, 5689 words, Rhys/Taika)

It is David POV, set just before the filming of season 2, it is about "practicing kissing", it is about identity and artistic craft, physicality and alienation from physicality. I have a lot of weird complicated feelings about it, but as often happens with writing like that, I think it's good writing anyhow.

my love and thanks to @veeagainsttheday, @emi--rose, and @mxmollusca for their vital services as I was writing; this would not be the same without you