#I have a bug bite of unknown origin

[simplykaren]

When you're getting x-rays of a giant dog and halfway through the set of films, the other tech says, "Oh, he has fleas."

[doofnoof]

@7-11thuniverse my tags Explain why I am. Confused to say the least, answering Prev

Tldr; most of the critters I know are less "please don't bother us we wanna be left alone" and more "SKYRIM BELONGS TO THE NORDS" like?? I have been consistently dealing with the Katsuki Bakugo of the Natural World. Not even kidding, the Chasing experiences where a critter has fallen on my face/out of my hair/out of an object are all real, and most choose to die fighting, with honor or smth. One particular spider had to have a work boot thrown at it twice because it kept getting back up and rearing it's front legs at my mom before running forwards a bit. Yes I did pee a little. No I don't know what his entire problem was.

YOU DONT HAVE DRYERS IN AUSTRALIA???

KANDI WHY

HOW DO YOU WASH YOUR CLOTHES??

DO YOU JUST

WEAR SOGGY CLOTHES AFTER A WASH??

HAVE YOU NEVER EXPERIENCED WARM CLOTHE FEELING AFTER A DRYER CYCLE ENDS??

WELL WE *WASH* OUR CLOTHES IN A WASHING MACHINE BELEIVE IT OR NOT BUT FOR HOW WE *DRY* OUR CLOTHES WE JUST USE A CLOTHES LINE CUZ BELEIVE IT OR NOT ITS RELATIVELY WARM ALL YEAR ROUND IN AUSTRALIA SO WHY WASTE MONEY AND ELECTRICITY WITH A DRYER WHEN ITS WAY SMARTER TO JUST USE A LINE?????

(i have one of these washing lines but its like over 20 years old and super broken so it cant close but thats okay)

[remarcely]

Batmanfic Prompt: WHAT IF Batman got turned into a cat and Red Hood found him?

(This was a prompt somewhere on Tumblr but I lost the original post, if you know who it was let me know so I can tag them)

There were good reasons behind Batman’s rules. ‘Don’t travel without bat-shark repellent’, he’d always managed to get caught off guard the few times it had been missing from his utility belt. ‘All dominoes must be fitted with lenses’ was another. He’d gotten too many bugs in his eyes during his first year to waver on that. Then there was his ban of magic. There were too many examples to count for that rule and, as Bruce looked down at his hands only to find two small black paws, that number appeared to be climbing.

He wasn’t sure why this magic user had come to Gotham, or how for that matter, but one thing he was certain of was that when his body was back to being human again, he was going to throw them off a roof. See if they land on their feet.

Bruce stuck to the shadows and walked behind dumpsters and kicked over bins, stepping over newspaper pages so trodden on they matched the grooves of the streets. He headed further down the alleyway, ears twitching with each droplet of water that fell from the metal fire escape stairs to the puddle collecting the left-over rain beneath it. Sounds of chatter and laughter escaped through the back door of a restaurant, which was cracked open and preventing the fire escape to lock the establishment properly. A fatal mistake in a city like Gotham, especially on such a night when Batman wasn’t in any shape to protect them.

One of their bins was one of the many that had been knocked over. Bruce could smell it, half-full of scraps of food, the delicious scent of cooked meat and fast food. His stomach rumbled and Bruce drew back in shame. He hadn’t eaten before leaving the manor that night, much to Alfreds displeasure, and his hunger had been gnawing away at his focus the entire night. Bruce glanced around warily and slowly crept forward. No one would cast a second glance at it, surely. Stray animals eating discarded food was nothing unusual and, unless that damned magic user was lurking nearby, he wouldn’t be recognised as either Batman or Bruce Wayne. Of course, he would know, but this was hardly the worst thing he’d done.

Bruce darted forward before some unseeable force could stop him and tugged a mostly-wrapped flat shape from the bin. His sharp teeth tore the paper away to reveal most of a hamburger with a single bite taken out of the side. It must have been a mistake and returned. Bruce leaned closer and sniffed it. It smelled fine, nothing dangerous, and pretty damn tasty. His stomach gurgled again and, his hunger getting the best of him, Bruce took a bite. A very small bite, seeing as he was a cat and all.

He took another, and then another. He was pushing his nose further into the torn wrapping, lapping his tongue at the sauce, when two heavy footsteps at the mouth of the alley made Bruce freeze up. His head whipped back and tensed as he recognised the red helmet, illuminated by a single flickering street light.

The Red Hood.

The biggest threat to Gotham in the past few years, and not because of his kill count. It was high but, again, this was Gotham and they’d seen far worse. No, it was the unknown factor to the villain that terrified Bruce. He had no name, no face, and no idea who the murderer was. Even his motive was unclear and Bruce had struggled to piece together much to the mans goals, other than the death of the Joker and the destruction of Batman.

The Red Hood stepped forward and tilted his head to the side. There was nothing else of significance in the alley for him to be staring down other than Bruce. Painfully aware of the villains instability, Bruce took a few steps back until he was partially hidden behind the pile of garbage. Red Hoods chests moved strangely, almost as if he was laughing, but made no sound. It wasn’t until the man pressed something on the underside of his helmets jaw that Bruce could hear him speak.

“Hey there.” The villain spoke softly and crouched down. He removed one of his gloves and extended a hand for Bruce, trying to cajole him forward “Are you hungry, little guy?”

As demeaning as it was, meeting the Red Hood in the unwilling form of a cat was probably the best shot Bruce would get at gathering information on the villain. He acted the part and approached the man, bumping his nose into his bare fingers. The villain chuckled and petted him gently, scratching behind his ears.

“Not a little guy at all, are you?” He snorted at the flat stare Bruce gave him at the comment ���You’re pretty big for a cat. Must be a fancy breed or something, huh?”

Bruce dared to place a paw on Red Hoods leg and stretched closer, nosing at his jacket and belt pouches. The Red Hood was armed to the teeth, guns holstered to each leg and another two hidden in his leather jacket.

Hood moved his scratches to under Bruces chin and neck “No collar.” He hummed and carefully picked Bruce up, adjusting the large cat to curl up on his chest half under his jacket “You’re all alone, aren’t you?”

Bruce paused. He’d never heard Hood sound so human before. Their previous meetings had consisted on taunts and threats, almost all of which were followed through on in the same breath. He had theorised that the Red Hood had undergone an intense trauma and found comfort in flying bullets and blood. Bruce could understand using violence to balance out the darker moments in people’s lives, he had done something similar through becoming ‘The Batman’, but hearing Red Hood speak so fondly to what he perceived as a stray hungry cat- it was too much. Bruce had found a ‘cat’ of his own, starving, and desperate, in an alley less than an hour away.

“How about I get you a proper meal.” Red Hood mumbled and ran his free hand up and down Bruces back, revelling in the softness of his dark fur. Bruce raised a front paw, batted his helmet lightly, and was stunned to hear him laugh “Come on, let’s go home.”

Bruce tensed and wriggled in the Red Hoods hold, not caring how ridiculous he might look. He’d only wanted to gather intel, not get the man emotionally attached to him. The shapeshifting-spell could wear off at any moment and he doubted the Red Hood would hesitate in shooting him if Batman suddenly appeared in his home.

“Fuck, stop that. It’s freezing out here, I’m doing you a favour, furball.” He grumbled and wrestled his hold on the cat.

Bruce yowled and made disgruntled noises when he realised he was completely pinned in place. He got louder when Red Hood laughed at him again, settling for swatting him with his tail.

-

Despite hating every moment of it, Bruce made sure to commit the route the Red Hood took as he returned to a safe house to memory.

[milkzoro]

MY BABY GURL-

May you offer some more zombie Luffy please? I desire more of him-

I don’t mind him nibbling on my while he fucks my brains out- :3

sum more zombie!lu for yew 🤍

version 2 ! (original post)

⋆.✧̣̇˚.⚝𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪★ ✧˖°˗ˏˋ

a fever you can’t sweat out

luffy whined in bed all day, he laid there covered in sweat while tears stained his cheeks, he felt hopeless. this was something completely different for him, he wished he would feel better soon so that he would be the one taking care of you, even though you were completely fine.

after going over all the possibilities of the causes of his sickness, we were both stumped, “are you sure you didn’t eat something bad, lu?” he shook his aching head before a thought crossed his mind.

“we’ll now that you mention it… i did get bit by something… don’t worry peach, ‘m strong.” just as he said that his head started to throb. you rubbed from his shoulder to his chest to try and comfort him, he still had an insane fever, his skin was scorching hot.

“that’s not how that works baby, i’m worried about you.” saddness filled you emotions, you knew he wanted to be okay for you but he physically couldn’t.

“a kiss to make me feel better? then i’ll tell you what happened, promise!” he reached out for you, pulling on the back of your neck to get you close, he looked deep into your soft eyes and smiled. you rolled your eyes and mumbled, ‘fine’ as if you weren’t going to give him a lil smooch anyways.

his lips were warm as he kissed you, his tongue begged for entrance as he tried to push past your plush lips. you allowed it, the growing ache in your tummy wanted him so bad.

you ignored your aches and pulled back, making him growl in annoyance. “you said you’d tell me, luffy. so spill.” you held your ground, despite wanting to give in to his needs.

“muyggffgghhhhh fine— was playing with my bugs… but there was one i didn’t recognize, mm had like human teeth? and, well no it wasn’t a beetle… you think it was a zombie y/n? sheheiiuhihihih kidding! but it did have teeth.”

he showed you the bight mark on his right hand and you audibly gasped. the mark looked so fresh, how could you not have noticed? the teeth indents were red and it definitely looked infected, there was slight swelling and discoloration… poor baby, he was shivering now. the unknown illnesses seemed to be getting worse.

“please don’t worry y/n! ‘m fine! see look!” he shuffled out of bed and stretched out his arms to the best of his ability. “can you kiss me again?” he put on his best puppy dog face for you. how could you say no to him?

you playfully pushed him back on the bed and layed on top of him carefully, kissing his cheeks before meeting his mouth again. “only if you stay in bed and rest baby, that’s the deal if you want me to keep going.” you teased and he wholeheartedly agreed.

luffy ignored the aching feeling flowing through his veins, he loved your pretty lips. he hoped that kissing you would distract the other thoughts that were in his mind. but he sucked, and pulled, and finally bit.

“ouch! luffyyyyy why did you do that?” it stung, you’re pretty sure he broke skin, you tasted a faint trace of metallic in your mouth. he didn’t look okay, he was apologizing as if it wasn’t in his control, he aslo didn’t look like himself. his fever was worsening, he writhed around in bed, clutching his ears because they were becoming hypersensitive.

“baby, listen. it’s okay. i’m here.” you touched him again but he begged for you to back away, he didn’t want to accidentally snap at you and regret it later.

his voice deepened as he explained to you, he growled and moaned. “no, y/n! please, get the ropes, i need you to listed to me and tie me down, i feel something happening, get them now!”

you tied him to the bed and waited for further instructions, biting your lip as a nervous tick. he was unresponsive and still for a moment and you worried even more, you rushed to see if he still had a pulse and he surprisingly did. but he was ice cold. he shuffled in his ropes a bit when he felt your fingers touch his ice neck. you could’ve been mistaken but you thought you heard whimpers?

you boyfriend looked different. his eyes met your own but they didn’t give you that warm feeling anymore, they were hazy white and the color from his skin was gone. you reached out to touch him again.

“y/nnnnn seeeeee mm ohhuuuukayyyy, t-touch mmme” with the groans mixed in, his words were almost inaudible, but you could understand him

you were hesitant at first but you still had the aches in your tummy, luffy laid restless under the ties of the ropes, his soft rustles and pants made your cunt do flips at the sight before you.

“you want me to touch you, lu? i-is this okay to do?

“uh huuhh… i need you now… get on top mughhhhhhhrzz now…please.”

the ropes you placed on him were secure, so you felt safe moving forward. each limb was tied down to every post of the bed, he was sprawled out like a starfish. you knelt between his legs and eyed the tent in his shorts, he looked bigger than usual. the zipper opened easily as you freed huge cock from the fabric, eyes wide from the sight of him.

his growls ushered you to remove your panties and t-shirt. “let me feel you peach, get on.” his raspy voice controlled you, he couldn’t use his hands so he needed to improvise, he begged for you.

“tell me if you want me to stop. okay, lu?”

his eyes turned sinister and a slight grin crept on his face like he has just got the last piece of some monster plan. his voice was more clear now, but it was just a little bit off. it was now deep and demonic. “think before you speak y/n. look at me.” his pale eyes gestured down to his enlarged cock. “shouldn’t i be the one saying that to you? now get on.”

you nodded your head and swallowed your nerves— how were you going to fit it all? waiting around wasn’t going to solve you problem. you hurried to straddle him, lining him up with the drips of your entrance. his growing tip kissed along your slick, you held your breath until you finally sunk all the way down his length. he hissed at the contrast of your warmth swallowing him whole.

more groans fled his mouth, annoyed with how he couldn’t grasp you and move you himself. you needed time though. as you rest at the base of his thick cock, you held your hands to your mouth. silencing your yelps from the pain of being stretched so soon. you shifted your hips a little, the pressure in your cunt finally adjusted to his insane width.

slowly, you began to rock yourself on him, pushing up on his chest for support. “ahhh shit! too big luffy. feels so good—”

he whined and shifted beneath you, bucking up his hips to get you to move faster. “be a good girl and move. please, fucking move peach—” he continued to hit your g-spot repeatedly, even if your weren’t fully ready for it. tears pooled in the corners of your eyes, both from the pain and the pleasure. slick sounds filled your ears as you felt yourself start to unravel around him, you started to bounce faster.

“ahh luffy!! sss too muchh— t-think i’m gonna cum!” your cunt clenched around him, hugging around his thick base perfectly. your words fueled him more, he took it as a sign to fill you up on the spot. the ropes tugged on his flesh as he jolted beneath you, you were surprised they managed to hold down your monster of a boyfriend. but those thoughts soon left as he thrusted deep inside you over and over again. you could barely sit upright as he did so, you were blissed out and so sensitive.

“c-coming lu!!! i’m gonna— fuck! cum so hard!” you felt your legs begin to shake on either sides of him, his deep stokes making your mind go numb as you unravel around him. he wasn’t done yet, but he was close.

“fuck, y/n stay right there for me, gonna fill your pretty cunt all the way up. shit— you can do that for me, can’t ya?” you cried out as he overstimulated your weeping pussy, making a mess of the both of you. he stroked up a few more times before you felt his cold liquid flooding your cunt, there was so much of it.

with his final stoke before he came, he moaned deeply. you cried with him, feeling your second orgasm come with his own. “so tight for me y/n, shittttt— such a perfect pussy.” his chest heaved in unison with yours as you both started to come down from your highs.

⋆.✧̣̇˚.⚝𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪★ ✧˖°˗ˏˋ

@anemptypuddingcup what do we do next ???? do we untie him? yes or yes 🙈

[metalmewtwo-kxb]

Special Pokédex Update:

Zoromun - The "OOC" pokémon. Type unknown. This chimera Zoroark is a loose representation of the mun, who interacts inside and outside of the blog's in-world setting via asks and independent side posts/images. It is rather elusive and prefers to avoid most direct encounters. However, it can be encouraged to be friendly if approached with tact and sincerity.

Quick notes:

Mother and mom-friend

Cranky when hungry or tired

Hisses

Bites

Fiercely territorial. ((Hippity hoppity- get the HECK off their property))

Possessive ((That tree is Zoromun's. So is that rock. And that twig. And those butterfree. And those flowers. If it touches the land you can't have it. Will fight you for stepping on their bug))

Squirrels away and adopts ALL the unattended babies. Snatches lonely stragglers also

Food aggressive due to upbringing with littermates. Only shares with babies and close companions. Will not take food from others

WILL Shadow-Claw trespassers

Defensive and protective

Likes to color

Cuddles and acts silly with people and pokémon it trusts and likes

Empath. Locks on to those who are in need or hiding something. Hates rancid vibes

Prefers the dark and the quiet. Also soft and glowy things

Sneaks around and explores for fun

Mischievous menace to society and (affectionately) adopted siblings

Knows who Team Skull is. Pesters the remaining members to show friendship and favoritism due to sharing similar marks, but hates their music

Picks up every random shiny thing like a crow and stashes them in their nest

Shows affection by gifting food, trinkets, and cool rocks.

Shapeshifts into a variety of pokémon. Mostly foxes, felines, and dragons

Spots and stripes on their leg are never consistent, but the splotches on its back stay the same

Most dangerous in the form of Bewear.

-------------------------------------------------------

I'm actually very happy to introduce my pokésona, Zoromun! I didn't really have an interest in making or having one before, but this design had me sold on it 👏 I also got the idea for the back pattern since irl I have 3 different Team Skull jackets (including the official) that I wear almost every day for work. It felt like a good opportunity!

Dominantly intend this to be used for silly things, but I might have some other ideas too! We'll see!

I flipped the pattern from the left leg to the right, but original design below was created by the sweet and lovely @dingbat-things 👇

[nicsalazar]

A smashing good time || Anita & Nicole

TIMING: Recent-ish. LOCATION: Anita's bug lab PARTIES: @gossipsnake & @nicsalazar SUMMARY: Anita shows Nicole some of the work she does with insects, but the evening is interrupted by tiny menaces of unknown origin. WARNINGS: None.

Anita loved talking about bugs, that was a big part of why she enjoyed being a professor so much. She always worked hard to make the topic interesting and compelling, feeling it her own personal mission to dispel the concept of insects being inherently gross or weird or boring. That had only been part of the reason why she had offered to give Nicole a private viewing of her recent collection though. After all, if Anita met a beautiful woman she was going to shoot her shot at least once - just to see what might happen. 

The evening, however, ended up focusing far more on insects than the two beautiful women observing them. Anita didn’t mind - she loved having an interested subject to spew all of her knowledge on. It was so vastly different than lecturing to a group of 50+ college students, half of whom were asleep or simply not paying attention. Nicole was a good captive audience. “So now you can see, just like I said online, these little guys aren’t getting hurt at all. I think people associate experiments and insects with the death of those insects, but we get the best and most useful information when we simply observe them in varying environments and situations.” 

It felt like the evening was slowly coming to an end, and given that Nicole had expressed that she did not want to drink, Anita couldn’t pull her usual move of inviting her over for a night cap to keep the evening running. “Got anything exciting going on the rest of the evening?” 

“Yeah, didn’t think bugs were that important for the environment either”. Maybe it was the fact that Nicole knew very little about well, everything, but there was always something captivating about a person who chose to share their passion and knowledge with the world. Anita had been incredibly selfless with her time sharing everything there was to share about the little ones. Not to mention patient, though Nicole imagined she had practice with other dense students. Her brain was buzzing, still processing all the information she had gained in one evening. She hoped she’d be able to retain most of it.

At Anita’s question, she looked over, feeling a little self-conscious. Exciting wasn’t a word Nicole would have used to describe anything surrounding her life, completely ignoring what she did for a living, but she shrugged it off with a chuckle. After spending an evening asking stupid questions and looking every bit the ignorant person she was, she knew Anita wouldn’t judge anything that came out of her mouth. “My idea of excitement is going home, so I don’t know if I’m a good judge of…that”. Normally, anxiety would’ve crept in right about then, knowing they had discussed other plans beforehand. Drinks, specifically. Which Nicole wouldn’t, rather couldn’t indulge in anymore. But the feeling didn’t come, her smile didn’t falter. Maybe it was because the evening had gone a lot better than she had imagined. Maybe it was because they had partly discussed this all before. 

And it wasn’t often she felt comfortable enough to feel any desire to extend a social situation, which meant she had to take advantage of it, right? “I could still grab a bite” A teasing smile spread across her face, recalling another bit of their conversation. “Maybe not… bugs, but— There might be a decent place around. Maybe Mexican?” She had lost hope of ever finding anything dedicated to Puerto Rican or Guatemalan cuisine (though that came with a different kind of baggage) so this was at least, a close alternative. “You probably know the places near campus better than I do. What do you recommend?

“A lot of people don’t, just because of how small and insignificant bugs seem from all the way up here.” It was always sort of funny to Anita when humans didn’t realize just how similar they were to bugs - more important to the survival of those up the food chain than anything else. “They may be small, but they are mighty.” Usually she was fairly good at judging whether someone was genuinely interested in what she had to say about bugs or if they were merely feigning it. From what she could tell, Nicole seemed genuine. 

A small smirk formed at the corner of Anita’s lips at Nicole’s response. She could think of a whole lot of ways to find excitement in going home but she had enough common sense to know that wasn’t what the other woman had meant. Before she could even open her mouth to say anything further, Nicole was already suggesting they grab some food. Evidently spending more time with her sounded more exciting than simply going home, that was a good sign. “Hmmm, alright, no bugs this time,” she teased. “Mexican sounds great, Pura Vida is the closest you can get to authenticity this far from the equator and it’s not far.” 

“Let me just make sure everything is locked up and we can head out.” It would be a pretty bad look for Anita to lose multiple batches of bugs in such a short period of time. Shortly after she turned to ensure the enclosures were secured she heard the shattering of glass behind her, laughing as she presumed Nicole bumped into one of the tables with lab equipment, Anita began to turn back around, “Don’t even worry about it, we break more glass in this department than …” She trailed off once she was facing Nicole again, realizing that she was not the one to break any glass. “Or…really don’t worry about it I guess.” Glancing around at the ground, trying to figure out what had just happened, Anita caught the tiniest bit of movement out of the corner of her eye. 

It was a fair statement, Nicole mused, a soft smile still lingering on her face. There were bigger, flashier animals gathering all the attention, relegating bugs to the nuisance category. It had been her sentiment too, before Anita taught her a thing or two about underestimating the little ones. Which— the comment about bugs being small but mighty had Nicole huffing out a laugh. “Not so different from humans then,” she thought her own small and mighty woman back home. “Usually— the small ones, uh. They’re the type you should fear”. She wondered what Anita, who was clearly a few inches shorter than her would have to say of the comparison.  

She nodded at the suggestion, having heard of the restaurant before. Leah seemed to like that place, they’ve ordered takeout a few times. Nicole had never been there, physically at least. Something akin to nerves thrummed under her skin. “Let’s…yeah. That sounds good”. She couldn’t exactly pinpoint which part of the arrangement was setting her alarms off. Was it the fact that any time she tried anything closely related to her culture she was struck by a wave of nostalgia so big she wasn’t capable of riding it? Was it the fact that she was putting herself out there to go socialize with a stranger —a stranger whose presence she greatly enjoyed, but— therefore increasing the chances of being seen? Of fucking up the possibility of a friendship? She continued nodding, despite her thoughts trying to hijack her decision. She wouldn’t listen. She’d made up her mind. “Pura Vida it is” she spoke, mostly to herself. 

She had turned to follow Anita outside the room when the shattering sound erupted behind them. Her head whipped quickly to the source, spotting nothing but broken glass. Did she accidentally hit something? No, she would’ve felt it. She wasn’t leaning against that table. Anita didn’t seem to mind the mess, but Nicole tried to explain herself anyway. “Oh—I didn’t. I wasn’t—” Both pairs of eyes were staring in a similar direction, investigating what was going on that they didn’t notice the tiny little creatures climbing up the chairs onto the tables until there was a clattering sound. As if someone was trying to chomp on— Nicole’s eyes widened as… What the fuck were those? Cockroaches? No, unless they were like…mutant ones. Whatever the fuck they were, they had decided to reveal themselves, jumping on the lab equipment and nibbling on the wires. “I… Don’t think those are from your collection…right?” 

Anita always found it interesting when individuals called humans ‘humans.’ Those burdened with humanity often just called themselves people She called them humans, though. A way to differentiate their species from hers. Did Nicole mean to do the same? Either way, the comment made her chuckle a bit. “That mean there’s no need to fear you with those long legs?” Anita’s current form was certainly shorter than the other woman was but as a lamia she would be towering over her. So, in a way, she was a small one that should be feared. 

The universe of things that could cause damage in a lab was massive, increased exponentially but the acknowledgement of all the things beyond the natural world that could cause damage. Had Anita not seen a small creature running about the lab she might have just explained away the broken beaker by a draft and carried on with the planned evening. But she had seen something, and evidently so had Nicole. They were small enough to be bugs but certainly were not. 

“No. Certainly not mine.” She couldn’t get a good look at whatever was moving around but it was moving too quickly to be any insect. Suddenly, the glass cabinets that stored microscopes along the wall on the other side of the room began to shatter one by one. It felt irresponsible to just leave, and Anita’s eyes drifted towards the glass enclosures her bugs were being held in. “I’ve never -” it was a split second decision, but Anita decided to place some trust in this stranger, “whatever theses are, they aren’t part of the animal kingdom. I don’t know what they are but .. they don’t seem to be interested in you or I. For now.” She looked around the room trying to spot if the creatures were coming from any one place in particular. 

She shook her head, momentarily speechless by the question. Her laugh was nervous, but it was clear Anita was having fun with it. “No. I’m— I’m… easier to trip” Nicole supplied weakly, still in the spirit of joking, though her face was hot. It never took much for blood to rush to her face, yet it didn’t make it less embarrassing. “But— Don’t try that”. Not that she feared Anita would, but couldn’t hurt to get that out of the way. “Not wearing my safety gear” she added with a deadpan. Did it sound jokey enough? Well, she’d have to deal with the awkwardness after if it didn’t land. 

Anita confirming the little creatures jumping about the desks were not regular bugs wasn’t exactly the type of thing Nicole wanted to hear. Right. Of course. Why not? This fucking town. She’d probably been around supernatural bugs in the forest and she hadn’t realized it. And— Anita was aware of that part too. Which Nicole didn’t have time to tackle, but she would eventually get to. Her frown deepened, eyes shifting around as she tried following their original path. Where the fuck did they keep popping from? “You’re okay with— I think they’re trying to eat your things” she pointed toward the table, wires half chewed, equipment appearing to be the next thing on the menu.  

Nicole didn’t want to suggest killing these bug-looking creatures, especially not in front of the bug expert. Especially when she’d gotten a giant lecture earlier on how important small creatures could be for the earth. What was so important about these though? Their insanely strong teeth? Their hunger for plastic or metal or whatever the fuck material the equipment was made of? She didn’t want to suggest it, but something should be done about it, right? At least gather them all in one place.

“Would— Don’t imagine you might wanna—” Well, maybe they didn’t have to kill them. Right. Maybe her brain jumped to that because Nicole was always in charge of killing the spiders at their place. Designated bug killer. She was programmed to think of exterminating when it came to bugs. Or, not bugs… it wasn’t clear. She trusted Anita’s knowledge, though. “Should we put them in… a container? A bag?” 

“Don’t worry, I don’t plan on tripping you anytime soon,” Even when faced with a slightly awkward situation, Anita liked to pride herself on the ability to maneuver through it without letting it derail the conversation. “And if I did, it would only be so I could then swoop in and heroically catch you before you fell … so, no safety gear needed.” She hoped that came off as what it was, a joke. Otherwise it made her sound like an absolute weirdo. 

It didn’t seem worthwhile to mention that these weren’t exactly her own things, rather property of the university. After all, if Anita put in a request for all new equipment she would have to at least justify why she needed to replace all of this shit. But what the hell were these things and why were they being so fucking destructive? She couldn't exactly just say that the old things had been destroyed by tiny little guys in an expense request. 

“Oh,” Anita beamed at the suggestion, “That’s brilliant.” It was objectively better than her own initial plan, which was to just squash the little fuckers. “Seems like they can break glass fairly easily…,” her thought trailed off as she looked around the room for something that might be able to contain the creatures. Which didn’t even really address the main issue of catching the things before putting them into a container. “I have some durable biohazard bags! If we double them up, it might hold them long enough to dispose of them before they chew through.” The reality of the situation becoming apparent, “Though… not exactly sure if this is a catch and release situation, ya know? What if they come back?” 

She released a breathy laugh, shrugging off some of the flirty implications behind the joke. Her own embarrassment over the situation was gone. Anita had been great at that all afternoon, smoothing some of the more awkward silences and poorly timed humor. Nicole would always be grateful some people just had that gift. It made socializing easier for idiots like her.  

She blinked at the other woman, face blank before realizing she was being serious. The word brilliant threw her off. It wasn’t something she heard often. Or ever. Her lips pressed together, and it would’ve been a smile had the corners of her mouth cooperated. Anita was right, a container might not stop them completely, but if they used multiple containers? A bag and a box and— “You should get those bags” Nicole agreed with a nod, her attention shifting back to the tiny little devils jumping around. She could always snap a picture and send it to Leah, for her to identify. But that— it meant disclosing more secrets than she felt comfortable doing at the moment. 

While Anita saw about those bags, Nicole considered how she could make herself useful for a moment. How many were they? Between ten and twenty, Nicole estimated. They only looked like an overwhelming amount because of how they were moving. “I’m— Could try catching them” she suggested, though she could sound more confident. “Got— I’m quick. Good reflexes, uh… Like— like a cat, almost” It felt so stupid to say it, that she avoided acknowledging Anita in the process. Had she had a little more humor, it would been the appropriate time for a smirk. But she didn’t, so her face remained tense. “Could get them all in your bags. And then…” squash them, was the implication, though she left it open in case Anita was considering a different solution. But if she wanted to ensure they didn't come back then… 

By all means, having them all in one place was what they needed to do first. Instead of playing— that one game. Something with moles and a hammer. Nicole could channel some of that… animal instinct for this, couldn’t she? The jaguar was supposed to be an apex predator after all. Would it allow itself to be defeated by annoying little menaces? There was a strike of cold in her chest that told her no. No fucking way. No enemy could ever best the jaguar. That was exactly the kind of feeling that should’ve been stirring inside her chest as she approached the counter, eyes following closely one of the creatures chomping on the equipment. Waiting to strike when it least expected. Nicole snatched one of the bugs with one swift move, clasping it between both hands. The little creature crawled against her palm, and Nicole grimaced at the sensation. But at least it wasn’t eating at her skin, right? Small victories. “Fuck. I got one, where’s the bag?”

After grabbing the stack bags out of one of the back cabinets, Anita began to double them up as she made her way back over towards the action. There was a slightly sinister relief that washed over her when Nicole suggested what she had originally been thinking, though she did so without actually using the words. Anita hadn’t verbalized that intention out of a desire to come off as normal, she wondered if that was Nicole’s reasoning too. It seemed, however, that she would have to take the lead on spearheading that course of action. 

“Got your bag right here!” She chimed in, a bit more pep in her step now that an endgame solution was forming. Opening the bag up just enough for the tiny little thing to slip through she then quickly wrapped her hand around the bag to close the opening before spinning it and tying the top into a quick knot. Anita looked up at the other woman before the next step, almost as if she was waiting for an opposition to a plan she hadn’t even said out loud. There (obviously) being none, Anita then placed the bag on a nearby lab table, grabbed a microscope from nearby and lifted it up swiftly before bringing it slamming down on the table - squashing the creature flat. 

She then picked the bag back up, untied the top and looked inside. “Alright, seems like brute force will do the trick.” The scene around them was too chaotic to take time and try and justify herself. Besides, this was practically an agreed upon course of action. Anita handed a few bags over to Nicole with a slight grin, “Wanna see who can catch the most?” 

The little insect, or— whatever the fuck it was, slipped inside Anita’s bag with some resistance. Her palms itched where the bug had tried nibbling. Nicole followed the professor with curious eyes, waiting to see what the other woman wanted to do with it. There was some sort of unspoken agreement, she felt the energy in the room shift as they both understood what they had to do at the same time. It might not be the only way to get rid of them, but at this moment, with the resources they had, it made the most sense. It didn’t mean Nicole was expecting Anita to seize the bag, close it, and place it on the table with the intention of—

She should’ve seen it coming, really. Nicole grimaced when the microscope fell on top, knowing the fate of the creature inside before Anita could open it to check. The loud thud had been enough. That thing was dead. But in case Nicole hadn’t gathered that from the combination of sounds alone, Anita decided to peek inside for confirmation. Right. “That’s uh— good to… know” She clenched her teeth, eyes darting around the rest of the office, following the movement of the insects. They didn’t look scared or trying to retreat, instead they doubled down on the wires. Probably not understanding one of their buddies was already gone and a similar fate waited for all. 

Nicole grabbed the bangs handed to her, though her resolve didn’t quite match her companion’s. Why was she hesitating? How was this any different than killing the spiders, really? She just had to think of it like that. This was like helping Leah. They were nasty little pests breaking vital lab equipment. Right. That mindset sort of did the trick. Not to the level where she wanted to compete on who caught more bugs to kill, like Anita was proposing, but enough to not feel guilty about what she had to do. “As long as we get all of them, I’m good with that,” she nodded, lips pressed into a thin line that should’ve been a smile but didn’t quite make it. She was a killjoy, wasn’t she? Fuck, not the time to start questioning dumb shit like that. She got to work.

It turned out those little creatures could also fly. And they did, searching for cover as Nicole and Anita began snatching the ones on the table. Nicole threw one, two, three bugs inside a bag before using the same microscope Anita had to squash them. It was a pretty fucking effective method, and the two of them didn’t make too bad of a team either, despite how frustrating it was to get a hold of the little fuckers. For several minutes, there was no other sound in the room but the rustling of the bags, as Nicole and Anita worked in tandem to get rid of most of the infestation. Eventually, she ended up switching the weight of the microscopy for her own boot, whatever qualms she had about hurting bugs were long gone, blinded by their success. The last remaining creature was perched at the top of a bookcase, wings fluttering in a taunting manner. Looked taunting, at least where Nicole stood. Brushing a few strands of hair off her face, Nicole turned to Anita. “Wanna do the honors?”

“Yeah, I mean… always good to verify. Important to have certainty.” While Anita noticed that Nicole did not have the same exuberance in her reaction to the proposed plan, she didn’t quite understand why that was. Had they not just seen and discussed the same things? She was clearly on board with the plan, however, and Anita didn’t want to waste time trying to understand the obvious tension that the other woman was carrying. She had creatures to kill. 

“Sure, of course. Very … practical. Efficient, even!” It was a bit of a bummer that Nicole wasn’t interested in turning this into a competitive game of sorts, but with the seeming unspoken permission for the upcoming slaughter, Anita got to work. “I’ll start over at this end of the room,” she stated as she headed off towards some cabinets that were seemingly being pried open in the one corner. Her mind was so focused on catching the little fuckers that Anita had almost forgotten about her combat partner. That was until she heard the delightful sound of a microscope slamming down, followed by a melody of both squishing and crunching. 

“Oh, man!” Anita exclaimed, shooting up from where she had been crouched trying to catch more creatures. She had been grinning, initially, realizing that the enthusiasm was unlikely to be matched and quickly dropping it (hopefully) before the other woman noticed. “Uh, sounds like you’re being very productive.” 

As she wrapped around the edge of the lab, Anita was working diligently to squash, impale, flatten, or otherwise extinguish any of the strange nuances that she came across. Moving with efficiency, there was a part of her that wondered if she would be able to stash one of them away for later further observation. After all, while the wings might have suggested being instinct-adjacent, she was very well versed in insects and this was certainly not one. By the time the thought had occurred to her, it was clearly too late. There was only one lone menace left. 

The words suggested that Nicole was, perhaps, not as opposed to the tiny massacre that had just occurred as Anita originally thought. But there was nothing in her tone or expression to support that. “How sweet,” she responded, doing her best to match the energy she was receiving. She was just slightly too short to reach the top of the bookcase and she quickly looked around for a solution. A stool was the simple and obvious solution. Pushing it towards the bookcase, Anita hopped up quickly and grabbed a large science textbook off the shelves. Seconds later that same book came slamming down on the creature, the soft crunch signifying an end to their efforts. 

Climbing back down, Anita let out a bit of a sigh as she whipped her hands on her jeans. Immediately her mind turned towards what they had been planning before the interruption and she couldn’t help but wonder if the mood had been ruined. Her eyes scanned Nicole’s face for an indication. “We made a pretty decent team, huh?” Was it weird to suggest they still go grab some food after all of that? Did the supernatural elements of it all require some sort of conversation? Or were they not even noted by the other woman? “Not exactly how I saw the second part of the evening going,” she offered with a soft laugh, trying to gauge what to do next. 

Nicole hadn't expected to spend her evening capturing and killing insects with the woman who had just given her a lecture on the necessity of similarly looking critters ten minutes before hell broke loose. But she was well-versed in Wicked's Rest bullshit by this point. Her mistake was expecting everything to go smoothly in the first place. The jury was still out on whether they were dealing with bugs or not. Anita didn't think so, and Nicole would be stupid to go against the expert's thoughts. The small monsters, on the other hand, were flying around and crawling just like any insect would, stirring some doubt within her. Anita moved quickly and precisely to get rid of them. She would have been the clear winner if they had taken the challenge properly. Nicole made every effort to keep up, though.

She hadn't taken Anita's height into consideration when proposing she take the last one of the bunch, so she was slightly alarmed when the woman moved over to grab a stool. Her forehead creased in concern. Maybe it was the constant fear of Leah climbing every shelf at their store, despite the ladders she'd installed influencing her feelings. Logical or not, Nicole worried. But it wasn't too huge of a stretch. Everything should be okay, right? She ended up hovering behind her, hands in mid-air, just in case something bad happened and Anita lost her footing. There was no such thing as being overly cautious. She’d learned nothing was ever too safe. After hearing the thud of the book and the squelching sound of the final monster being annihilated, Nicole let out a breath of relief. She double-checked the room for any other creatures that might have been clever enough to hide from the slaughter, and thankfully for the two of them, it appeared that their efforts had been successful in keeping the infestation under control. 

She mimicked Anita's laugh, heat rushing to her cheeks as the woman commended their work. Yes, she agreed. All in all, they were fast to act and didn't get in each other's way too much. She didn't want to think about how someone less experienced would have handled the same issue. She rubbed her jaw, wondering if the extra stress they had dealt with meant it was best to go home and relax, or if Anita still had their earlier plans in mind. "No, uh… me either". Nicole believed their potential outing would be an excellent instance to gauge Anita's knowledge of supernatural wildlife.

She had a feeling, based on the random comments and the way they both quickly got to a similar conclusion with their threat, that they would discover they both knew more than they let on. Wasn't that what Nicole wanted? To find others like her, people she didn’t have to tip-toe around? It was tiring to pretend that the town wasn't fucking crazy. "Ah...so—" there was no need to be shy about asking. If there was one thing she'd learned from the evening, it was that Anita had that quick and easy personality, capable of smoothing out any social bumps. "Pretty hungry, still. You? We should…could—" She took a look around the room, noticing the bags scattered on the floor. "Was about to say go grab some food. But— better clean this first, no?" Gaining a little more confidence, she nodded at Anita. "Could make this one a competition. Loser pays for dinner," she stated as a way of suggestion, not waiting for the other woman to reply before getting started. Now she had a real incentive. 

[wuxiaphoenix]

Worldbuilding: Chance Favors the Prepared Writer

A writer’s mind has been compared to an overstuffed attic of odd facts. It might be an antique dwelling (history), a haunted house (horror/paranormal), a pod off a space station (SF), or the topmost room of a wizard’s tower (fantasy). But the idea holds, and some of us keep them better organized than others. I try to corral the mental clutter by keeping all the references for a current project in one general location. Sometimes that works better than others. (Need more folders. And bookshelves. And time to sort notes!)

Back to the mental attic, because you keep adding to it as you go. A shade or shape of a tulip in bloom, a quip that makes you wince at the zing, a bit of science or history that adds a “yes, but,” to what you already knew. And once in a while you run across something completely new. Like, What to Do When You Are Having a Heart Attack Alone (Besides Die).

...Apparently, what you do is cough. Deep, deep breaths and coughs can keep some blood moving oxygen to the brain, keeping you conscious longer. This is critical if, say, you have a heart attack behind the wheel of a car.

A few extra minutes might save your life. Or at least let you pull over so you don’t plow into someone else.

Of course, if you’re a writer, the characters may have their hearts stop for reasons not nearly as simple as a heart attack. Poison. Alien blaster. Vampire bite.

Yep, I’ve been thinking about vampires. Specifically the marked difference between traditional European folklore (dead guy starts causing trouble) and the more modern take of an infectious bite, victim falls dead or unconscious, then rises again. As a much more lively and attractive critter than the usual folkloric crypt critter.

So. If you’re going with “the folklore was initially accurate” - because historical people may not have known science but they were not stupid - how do you get from point A to point B?

That’ll depend a lot on how you explain your vampire. Demons? Magic? Weird science? Something else entirely?

My story starting point is magical biology influenced by folklore. The real-life microbial ecology of death is weird enough to have major Unknowns as it is. Add a little magic, and “person who dies in X circumstances may return as an upir” isn’t so hard to pull off.

Especially if it’s something like the classic “died shortly after childbirth”. Might be exhaustion, blood-loss, another infection - who knows. The heart stops, but if your vampire bug can provide a little oomph, healing, and get that pesky ticker going again, considerable parts of the brain could still be alive. And if the bug keeps healing over time, as folklore suggests, then you’d get the folkloric element of “older vampires are more dangerous” because they’d get smarter. Back up to full human reasoning capabilities. Or something like it. There might even be fragments of the original person’s emotions and memory left, which would make the vampire very dangerous indeed. On top of that, the “able to harass widows and sire dhampir children” for males at least would be entirely possible.

How much of the vampire would be the original person? Hard to say. Look up cases of people revived after drowning. Consider exactly how dead the original corpse got. It could be gruesome.

So how to jump from that to a vampire that’s still recognizable as the original person?

It depends on how the infection defines death. If it’s spread by biting, odds are it’s in the victim’s system before they die. Does it actively stop the heart? How long before the heart beats again? Can the victim keep their brain aware and alive long enough for the restart?

It’d be deeply ironic to be a vampire who kept your own mind because someone hit you with a pepper bomb and you couldn’t stop coughing....

[sorcerous-somebody]

Zelista 🩸

Race: Mephistopheles Tiefling

Class: Storm Sorcerer

Pronouns: she/her

Age: Unknown, likely late 20's or early 30's

Background: The Haunted One

Romance partner(s): Astarion & Halsin

More notes under the cut (contains BG3 spoilers)

My notes:

I originally started playing BG3 in co-op with my spouse in splitscreen mode on her PC. We never finished that playthrough though due to my spouse's schedule getting busy. But we did manage to get to the beginning of act 3. I was playing a normal Tav then, but had started seeing things online about the Dark Urge origin character. I really wanted to play on my own, so once we determined that the game would actually work on my PC, I started my new run with Zelista.

I really wanted to romance Astarion in our co-op game, but couldn't get it to trigger for some reason before we did all the quests in act 1. Turns out, the big boost of approval you get from defending him after he bites you didn't happen due to a bug in co-op causing the scene to cut off early. So I ended up romancing him properly with Zelista instead.

I stuck with the default class for the Dark Urge origin. I do love playing sorcerers :)

She did end up taking the astral tadpole. In my game, she had just heard Wyll's tale about why/how he became a warlock right before the fight in the astral prism. She had gotten pretty beat up in that fight so I like to think she was feeling nervous about having to confront even more powerful enemies. So she took Wyll's story to heart and accepted the tadpole to fight against a greater evil.

However, she did draw a line at fully transforming into a mindflayer. Orpheus ended up as the mindflayer (the choice I've made in all my runs so far - oops).

She rejected Bhaal and Astarion did not ascend. I do love how well they match each other in that regard.

I did end up romancing Halsin with her as well, though I'm not sure how well that would work out long-term. I do see them as a throuple (with Halsin being long distance) at the time of the epilogue though.

I don't really have much else to add to her existing story in game as the Dark Urge, but I do have a couple oneshot fic ideas.

A few more pics are below (I was bad at taking screenshots then so I don't have many)

Finding out who she is:

From the new smooches patch:

Making stank faces at Auntie Ethel:

Confronting the brain:

(you can see the astral tadpole veins in these pics - most of them are from before the patch that added the effect to the eyes)

That's all I've got on her for now, I may edit to add more as I think of things!

[icannotweave]

#so in case someone didn't know: when shows lease the rights to music they sometimes only have them for so long (like ten years etc.) #WHICH MEANS that if a show gets put into syndication/has reruns airing years later #they will SOMETIMES go in and CHANGE THE MUSIC so as not to get sued #so if you watch the early seasons of SPN on Netflix/TV #the original songs will be gone and there will be copyright-free stuff in their place #it's REALLY fucking weird/disorienting because you'll REMEMBER there being a famous song in that scene! but NOPE. IT'S GONE. #and there's some bland weird unknown song in its place #anyway all of this is to say i'm glad i have the first two seasons on this on DVD for when the nostalgic bug bites and i rewatch 'em ( @zombeesknees )

@bebecas 2x2 milestone event - day 3: music

Music in Supernatural

[gtunesmiff]

WD-40

I had a neighbor who bought a new pickup.

I got up very early one Sunday morning and saw that someone had spray painted red all around the sides of this beige truck (for some unknown reason). 

I went over, woke him up, and told him the bad news.

He was very upset and was trying to figure out what to do... probably nothing until Monday morning, since nothing was open.

Another neighbor came out and told him to get his WD-40 and clean it off.

It removed the unwanted paint beautifully and did not harm his paint job that was on the truck.

I was impressed!WD-40 who knew?

"Water Displacement #40".

The product began from a search for a rust preventative solvent and degreaser to protect missile parts. WD-40 was created in 1953, by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company. 

Its name comes from the project that was to find a 'Water Displacement' Compound.

They were finally successful for a formulation, with their fortieth attempt, thus WD-40.

The 'Convair Company' bought it in bulk to protect their atlas missile parts. Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD-40 that would hurt you.

When you read the 'shower door' part, try it. It's the first thing that has ever cleaned that spotty shower door. If yours is plastic, it works just as well as on glass.

Then try it on your stove-top. It's now shinier than it's ever been. You'll be amazed.

WD-40 Uses:

Protects silver from tarnishing.

Removes road tar and grime from cars.

Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.

Gives floor that 'just-waxed' sheen without making them slippery.

Keeps the flies off of Cows, Horses, and other Farm Critters, as well.

Restores and cleans chalkboards.

Removes lipstick stains.

Loosens stubborn zippers.

Untangles jewelry chains.

Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.

Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.

Keeps ceramic/terracotta garden pots from oxidizing.

Removes tomato stains from clothing.

Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.

Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.

Keeps scissors working smoothly.

Lubricates noisy door hinges on both home and vehicles doors.

Removes that nasty tar and scuff marks from the kitchen flooring. It doesn't seem to harm the finish and you won't have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.

Removes those nasty bug guts that will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly!

Gives a children's playground gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.

Lubricates gearshift and mower deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers.

Rids kids rocking chair and swings of squeaky noises.

Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open.

Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.

Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well as vinyl bumpers.

Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.

Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans.

Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles for easy handling.

Lubricates drive belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly.

Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.

Removes grease splatters from stove-tops.

Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.

Lubricates prosthetic limbs.

Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).

Removes all traces of duct tape.

Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain.

Florida's favorite use is: 'cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers.'

The favorite use in the state of New York, it protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.

Attracts fish. Spray a little on live bait or lures and you will be catching the big one in no time.

Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately and stops the itch.

It is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray it on the marks and wipe with a clean rag.

Also, if you've discovered that your teenage daughter has washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and rewash. Presto! The lipstick is gone!

If you spray it inside a wet distributor cap, it will displace the moisture, allowing the engine to start.

And FYI - the main Ingredient is - FISH OIL.

[robitherat]

what’re some mh fanfic recs ? been trying to get back into reading more of em

am I allowed to plug my own AO3?

no but forreal tho, there's so many good ones im just gonna link my favs from my AO3 history (Note that most of these are Jam fics because im a basic little bitch and love my comfort couple okay)

putting a keep reading bc i added a LOT lmao

"Next to You" I think this was one of the, if not the absolute first fic i read for mh back in like. 2017/18? It's a wingfic/ angel and demon AU, and I'll admit its not the absolute most fantastic piece of literature, but it's a classic in my heart so

"One Day" Very Very adorable jam fic, post mh domestic bliss, there's chickens and disgusting amounts of fluff. Read It.

The entire Hotel Hopping series by rebiTV. Still semi-patiently awaiting the next upload because Oh My God. Just the usual hotel shenanigans. Some are funny, some are angsty, and the most recent post to it left us with a cliffhanger that i think killed my soul a little bit in the best way.

"3:27 am" A super well-written fic depicting Jay Going Through it. The whole thing is basically Jay dissociating, so slight warning for that, and it's kind of trippy to read but honestly it's so good dude.

"Lazy Mornings" This one's a Bram fic featuring some fluffy cuddling of unknown origins. Good little light read and one of my all time favorite fanfics ever.

Pretty much anything by jaythewriter, their work is fucking phenomenal and I rlly wish they'd post again honestly but also yknow. stuff happens. I'll just re-read all their works again instead.

"Don't You Hear Me Howling" Another bram one, this time featuring the Masked Boys and how complicated a relationship can be when your partners don't remember you when they wake up. It's super well written and makes me sob every time i read it <3

"Farm Boy" Super soft and sweet fic about Jay kind of remembering his love for farm animals when he and Tim have to stay in a barn for a night. TW for implied animal death (maybe? it's up to interpretation) but I swear it's an honestly really well-written soft fic that makes me feel so many feelings. I also just realized this is another from jaythewriter but yknow what it's so fucking good im keeping it.

"All The World Is Green" Honestly i don't even wanna describe this one you just have to read it. I promise it's worth it.

"CALL IT BLACKSTAR, CALL IT PAINSTAR" OH MY FUCKING GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IF YOU'RE A POLYHORNETS HAND READ THIS IMMEDIATELY HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD

"Never Write Lovesongs On The Ukulele" Collection of vignettes of Tim reminding Jay that he's in love with him. love

"To Cut The Taste" Very Early in the hotel hopping days, basically just an awkward conversation Jay and Tim have about Tim's trip to a gas station

"For The Loneliest Blackout" Super trippy to read, very dream-like. Highschool (?) AU with t4t jam and a whoooooollleeeee lotta metaphors. or just one really long metaphor.

"scenes from a movie" god okay iw was looking for this one for like an hour oh my god. Of all the fics ive read this one honestly sticks with me a lot just because of how fucking cool the writing style is to me. I loveeeee vignettes so much and this is one of the longest vignette fics ive read. it's so so so sos o good please read it it has a happy ending

"Build Your Own Noodles" and "Potato Cakes" Both by the same author, both brim, both adorable pre-canon fluff.

"who took heroin, then sleeping pills, and who lies in an alabama hospital" TW for bug imagery and also mention of spider bites. Listen I have entomophobia and arachnophobia so anything with bugs freaks me the fuck out but this is really well done and honestly just the way that it's handled is so fucking fun to read.

The Lost Time series. theres only two stories and theyre both great. A little funky to read because it's, of course, about jay and tim losing time and forgetting stuff about each other. I think there's some?? implied sexual content??? but it's not explicit and otherwise i don't think there's any necessary warnings

"Patterns of Safety" Basically just Jay and Brian bonding over having OCD. I fucking looveeeeeee Same Brain type fics and also jay and brian both having OCD scratches my brain. No One In This Series is neurotypical

"Starting Over At The End Of The Line" Finally a multichapter fic. I promise I read things other than oneshots i promise. N E ways this is pretty much a polyhornets everyone lives AU featuring Brian's lovely gay aunts. You'll notice I commented on almost every chapter because i Love THis Fic SO Much

"No One's Ever Going To Treat You Right; You're Attracting The Wrong Kind" This one isn't a shipfic actually!!! It's sort of Tim's spiraling reaction to finding out what Jay's been hiding from him and the events that lead up to the meeting in the parking lot. The imagery is sooooo fucking good in this one, it's honestly kind of disconcerting the way it's written just because of how In-his-head Tim is the whole time. it's soooo fucking good it's so good.

"psalm 38:8" OKAY LAST ONE this is a great one to end with. It's pretty much just Jay's introspection on his own standing with religion and also hopeless pining that maybe isn't so hopeless after all.

OKAY THIS IS REALLY LONG NOW LOL I HOPE YOU ENJOY MY PERSONAL LIBRARY OF JAM FICS BC IM INSANE ABT THEM

[wtchwtch]

TT005_Transcript

TT005: Perogi The Dog

This is a fanmade transcript, please let me know if you see any errors.

TT005

(Intro music)

(Tape recorder sounds)

Cole: Entry number 005. Original exchange is dated March 15th, 2003. Author is unknown, but, but this appears to be a statement, an excerpt of an inpatient evaluation at the Riverside Institute. Recording by Cole Weavers.

(Tape recorder sounds)

Cole: The problem started when my family got a puppy. It was a Labrador, and we named her Bella. Pitch black fur with eyes that were far too human to belong to a dog. God, the way that Labrador used to look at me, chin turned down, whites of its eyes showing all glassy and teary eyed. And if you accidentally said the W A L K word in my house, there was no possible way you'd escape the guilt of Bella.

Admittedly, she was adorable, although she was also a bit misshapen. In fact, we began to call her Perogi because of the way she looked when she laid down and the complimentary grunt as she did so as if she were a 50 year old father of four. Family dogs always pick one person in the family that they really bond with.

And so she became my dog, despite it being my mother who'd picked her out from the farm litter and walked her every day. Now, while it was my mom who walked her, when it came to food, I was the easy mark. The one Perogi could manipulate in a matter of seconds with those eyes that were far too human to be hers.

I, I don't care what anyone says, your family pet knows enough to know who to bug when they want a walk. And who to bug when they want food. If I was eating, Perogi wanted a bite, it started off cute enough. One bite for me, one bite for you. But as she grew so too did her, appetite, At first we thought it was the farm dog in her. Growing up, those first 10 weeks in a litter on the farm, having food thrown into a trough like those puppies were a bunch of pigs, and having them clamour all over one another just for a bite to eat.

I, It's common to see that in dogs you get off the farm, they barely breathe between bites and she always wanted more. But Perogi was different. Hungrier. And she'd let you know just how hungry she was. I swear I could hear her try and enunciate the words. One bite for me, one bite for you. It became a mantra. I heard it over and over in my head.

One bite for me, one bite for you. Every time I ate, I would feed Perogi. And likewise, whenever Perogi would eat, so would I. At first it was only the human food. The eggs for breakfast, a sandwich at lunch and chicken or steak for dinner. But I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming crushing sense of dread creep over me when Perogi ate, and then I'd hear her speak in those nonsense sounds that dogs make when they try to imitate humans.

But then looking at her eyes that were far too human to belong to a dog. I would hear the words in my mind in a voice that, that felt like it wasn't mine. One bite for me, one bite for you. I'm by no means a particularly proud man, but I couldn't help but feel shame as I knelt down and grabbed handful after handful of her kibble and shoved it in my mouth.

But I, I just wasn't able to shake the feeling that something horrible would happen if I didn't. It didn't help but to convince me further that as I crunched the hard kibble between my teeth and I looked at Perogi, that her, that her mouth was, was open just slightly and the corners were pulled back in what I could only see as a knowing grin. One bite for me, one bite for you. The words rung through my mind as Perogi panted, staring into my eyes with her eyes, which were far too human to be hers. One bite for me, one bite for you. One bite for me, and one bite for you. One bite for me. One bite. For you. I ate and I ate until I was desperately thirsty.

My mouth was drier than it had ever been before, and so much so that when I went to swallow, it felt as if I had forgotten the way to do just that. That's when I began choking on the insides of my own throat. My eyes bulged and I looked about for answers to my dire state, frantically as if I'd forgotten the most common sense motions and actions to solve the simplest human needs.

And Perogi sat on her haunches, her lips pulled back, and that sickly dog smile as she panted. In front of her sat a slimy bowl of water. A few pieces of kibble bobbed about its surface, and little bubbles of saliva clung to the edges. I was so thirsty. I plunged my face in hardly waiting for any other thought to cross my mind.

And as the warm water hit my tongue, I heard the words again. One bite for me, one bite for you. That's when I knew it wasn't my voice. It, it wasn't the whispers of my own voice in my mind. It was someone else's. Something else's. One bite for me, one bite for you. Perogi quietly chomped at the air, her teeth clicking slightly together.

No sound, but a tiny rush of air, left her thin lip. One bite for me, one bite for you. As soon as my thirst was quenched, my stomach growled and spasmed in the pain of hunger, my mind could make little to no sense of the things I was feeling. One bite for me, one bite for you. I could feel my belly bloat as the kibble I had eaten, swelled and expanded with the water.

I desperately gulped, and despite the pain and physical knowing that my hunger could not be my own, my mind was filled with the words. One bite for me, one bite for you. And so I ate and ate and Perogi just smiled and panted and sat on her hunches watching me eat. I thought it would stop when I was away from Perogi, but it wasn't Perogi. It couldn't be. She wasn't the voice in my head. She was only a dog.

I knew that, I knew she was only a dog and still I, I, I couldn't help but count the days as I chewed my lips in hunger till Perogi would die, and then maybe the voice would stop. But that didn't work either. That didn't work. And now you've got me strapped to this bed and I am so incredibly hungry.

If you could just loosen these straps, then I could just have a bite to eat.

One bite for me, and one bite for you.

(Tape recorder sounds)

Cole: It always amazes me how far folks will go to try and pass a story off as real, uh, this has a, uh, an official letterhead and it's even stamped with an address and a date. Like someone made a rubber stamp. Now, I, I doubt this is real. This is probably one of the more ridiculous stories I've received in a long time.

But, but that's the thing about the exchange. They, they can't all be gold. But wait, is there...

There is. Someone's, someone's removed part of the story

Mark: (Tape recorder sounds)

Tiny Terrors is an anthology horror podcast produced by Pulp Audio and licensed under a creative commons attribution, non-commercial sharealike 4.0 international license.

D: This episode was directed by Cole Weavers with sound production and editing by Mike LeBeau.

Cole: This episode featured Cole Weavers.

Mark: To find additional information or to join our Patreon for additional content and ad free episodes, visit our website, www.tinyterrorspod.com.

D: Follow us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook at Tiny Terrors Pod,

Mark: Or join the Pulp Audio discord by clicking the link in the description below.

D: Rate and review us on Spotify and Apple.

Mark: And finally, thanks for listening.

[pungent-things]

While the New War was a fantastic quest, I do have some criticisms of it.

- During the last parts of Act 1, after you get control of Teshin and it fades to black inside that Sentient transport tunnel thing, there’s a VERY abrupt cut to being in a room with Era, Ballas, Teshin, and Natah. I feel like there should be something in between there? Like your Warframe should be boarding the Condrix and fighting their way to Teshin? And why was Lotus like that when we saw her, implying that something happened that just didn’t get shown? Did my game bug out and skip that section, or was it ACTUALLY like that?

- Those stealth sections can go fuck themselves.

- DE really needs to work on those facial animations, as well as the Operator face customization. Picking two prebuilt faces and blending between them? Needlessly obtuse and done leagues better in other games.

- It was never explained how the Drifter got a hold of the Lotus, or how they managed to hide the Orbiter and Landing Craft in a cave that is far too small for it to fly into.

- I was pretty sure Era was the one in control of Ballas, and not the other way around? When did that change? Why would that change?

- Would have liked to see some unique interactions with Excalibur Umbra, since it’s his war, too.

- For the amount of damage the Sentients caused, it felt like things turned back to “normal” far too quickly. I was kind of expecting a long war of attrition, as is expected with space-based warfare.

- It’s super dumb they had the Necramech requirement, since it’s used for a section that lasts about 5 minutes.

- Era was underwhelming; his sudden switching-of-sides was poorly done and felt extremely rushed. His death was even the stupid “Rocks Fall Everyone Dies” trope. For a character that had so much buildup, his role in the story was disappointing.

- The alliance with Hunhow had potential, but nothing came of it other than a new weapon and dialogue with Era, and was dropped after said dialogue.

- Before this, Hunhow spoke cryptically and in metaphors. Here, he spoke plainly and concise, losing much of the bite his character once had.

- Actually, Hunhow is still down there!? With the Stalker!? For how long!? I thought the Octavia’s Anthem quest implied he disappeared from the Origin System or something? I may be misremembering, but him still being down there is just strange.

- When boarding the Zariman Ten-Zero as your Operator, the FoV gets SUPER constricted, and made exploring the ship a literal headache.

- The time-skip between Act 1 and Act 2 being an unknown amount of time is not ok. It didn’t work for RWBY, it won’t work for Warframe.

- The Drifter could have used a bit more of an introduction.

- The Archons were cool, but fighting them was a bit of a chore (except the third, which I obliterated) and not all that challenging.

- Ballas wanting to consume the literal Sun was dumb. That’s the motive of a Comic Book villain. Someone on the writing team watched too many Marvel movies.

- This is more of a personal thing, but I HATE plots involving mind control of the heroes. They greatly disturbed me as a kid, and it still haunts me today. Don’t like it at all.

- And of course, Teshin. The Badass black man dies to a colonialist regime. Great job, DE. Totally not Yikes at all.

[nbrook29]

99 🖤🖤

Hello there! You’re officially my last dialogue prompt 🤩 I’m sorry this took so long, anon, I hope you’re gonna like it at least a little 🤓

I don’t take prompts for this challenge anymore. Just wanted to put that out there 😇 There are so many amazing ones on that list, but as of now I have 3 WIPs and one additional one in the works and I’d like to finish them before wtfock ends 😅

Anywho, here you go!

99. “I don’t think I’ve ever played spin the bottle.”

* * *

Robbe is going to kill Moyo. 

In fact, he's going to kill all three of his so-called friends because none of them protested when Moyo, tipsy and on his way to drunk, announced that this party sucked and was in dire need of some spice. 

He wishes he had listened to his past self and stayed home just like he had originally planned. It was supposed to be a quiet night in, editing videos or maybe spent in bed rewatching Romeo and Juliet in peace with no broers around to mock his movie choice while stuffing his face with onion chips and pretending the movie does not make him emotional, no sir. The wetness in his eyes must be sweat, not tears.

Then, after the movie would have ended, his sulking levels high, it would be time for his favorite activity of recent - daydreaming about reality in which he actually had the fucking guts to make a proper move instead of turning red everytime a certain someone was in his close proximity; smiling at him with that perfect sweet lovely smile that turned his already gorgeous features so much more beautiful that Robbe could weep.

And doesn’t that sound like a magnificent evening?

It may sound kinda lame, Robbe is a man enough to admit that, but the prospect of spending the night watching his friends salivating over girls they can’t get being the alternative wouldn't be particularly alluring to anyone, he guesses. Especially since he never partakes in that salivating part himself, instead chugging one beer after another and playing his designated role of a wallflower. 

Story of his life.

The whole thing just plain sucks, because it’s not like his friends aren’t well aware of the fact that Robbe’s interests lie elsewhere and that he’s usually bored out of his mind at those parties. But when there’s at least a semi-attractive girl around them they don’t care about anything else but getting her number and Robbe’s not exactly their priority then. In fact, he could well enough not be there at all and it wouldn’t make much difference. It happens every time they drag him along to those parties and every time he just stands there, rolling his eyes on their embarrassing attempts of flirting. 

Not like he’s the master of flirting himself, but even he’s not capable of stooping as low as they usually do.

This time, he reluctantly agreed to come to this one, against his better judgement, after Jens bugged him about it for their entire biology class, trying to convince him it was going to be more of a small gathering rather than a party. And frankly speaking, he did that just to make him shut up so mrs Jansen stopped glaring at him. Like he was the one running his mouth.

Once Robbe said the magic words “I’ll be there” there was no way of getting out of it. Still, his plan was to come by for an hour or two to get the broers of his back, drink a few beers, talk to Jana maybe, and then quietly leave when everyone would be too drunk and too busy tonguing at each other's tonsils to notice he's gone. 

But to his surprise, the party turned out not to be the typical banger they usually attended. It wasn’t even that bad and he was kinda having fun since he wasn't forced to play the guys' sidekick-gay-friend this time around and instead was dragged by Zoe to the kitchen to drink shots with her, Jana and Luca right after he arrived.

However, parties are not really his scene in general so when it started getting really late he finished his last Buttery Nipple shot composed by Luca (don’t ask) and was just about to make an apologetic face at the girls and say his goodbyes. 

But then Noor and Brit arrived. 

With him.

And Robbe almost swallowed his tongue.

Nobody should have the right to look this good but there he was, laughing with Milan in the hall while taking his signature leather jacket off, running a hand through his smooth like silk hair (Robbe's convinced it's indeed very silky) to ruffle it a little like it ever needed any styling, and in general looking like he had just walked out of Robbe's dream straight into Milan's apartment. 

Sander Driesen.

The reason for Robbe’s cheeks being permanently stained pink as of late.

They met at one of those after school clubs led by Amber several weeks ago that Robbe came to only because he agreed (after pretty much being blackmailed into it) to play Aaron’s wingman in winning Amber’s heart. 

He was gone as soon as those green eyes met his and the boy in front of him, wearing a black Bowie t-shirt and a leather jacket, shook his hand while smiling a little unsurely but still friendly, never breaking their eye contact as he introduced himself in a honey-like voice that penetrated every cell of his body, knees buckling a little, heart stuttering, the whole shebang.

He’s still thanking god he managed to hold back the whimper that was about to get out when he was saying his own name back.

Needless to say, the meeting became much more bearable after that.

Even having to witness Aaron’s cringeworthy attempts of gaining Amber’s attention weren’t that bad anymore. Not when they made Sander chuckle under his breath and catch his eye over Amber’s shoulder, winking at Robbe with a mischief dancing in his eyes as he bit his lip to keep his own laugh at bay. 

And then, Amber came up with some stupid “love excercise” or whatever the fuck she called it and made them all hold hands in a circle. She claimed it released stress and spread positivity or some other bullshit, but Robbe was convinced it was just a ploy she came up with to hold the school’s number one fuckboy Senne’s hand (who, if Robbe had to guess, also wasn’t there out of his own free will). 

Robbe wasn’t a very touchy-feely person, especially with people he had no business of touching in the first place so the whole thing was beyond painful. Thankfully, Jana came to his rescue, snatching his right hand as they exchanged smirks over Amber’s lofty speech about positive energy filling their bodies.

But then someone else gently took his other hand and when he went to inspect who it was, annoyance already starting to creep in, his mouth went dry, eyes going up, up, up the person’s leather-clad arm before stopping on Sander’s face, looking far too entertained.

The boy took an overly deep breath, eyes closed and face feigning seriousness, breathing out loudly.

“Ahh, I can already feel that rush of energy,” Sander leaned in to whisper to him, a teasing tilt to his voice making Robbe giggled at his antics. 

“I guess Amber was right then.”

“No no, I don’t think it’s Amber’s techniques, I just think it’s because of you.”

Robbe just gaped at this shameless flirting, receiving another wink when caught blushing deep pink. Sander seemed unfazed though, totally chill, like saying lame lines and winking at boys was in his everyday repertoire. It definitely wasn’t like that for Robbe, and definitely not from boys as cute as Sander.

He should have probably rolled his eyes at him, called him cocky and full of himself. And yet.

There was something about Sander’s demeanor that screamed it was all a facade, and that underneath there was a huge dork that came out right after that guard was let down. Robbe couldn’t even be annoyed with the smug winking because it was adorned with such a cute smile that it called for a fond eye roll rather than scoffing.

Before he could form at least a half cool response, Amber started shushing all of them with a bossy face, glaring at every person that dared to make a sound. So with a rush of sudden boldness, Robbe just squeezed Sander’s hand and looked at him from under his lashes, biting his lip in an attempt at being coy (and cringing at himself internally) despite his body thrumming with nerves standing this close to Sander, and for some unknown reason it brought the desired effect. 

Sander kept smiling at him surreptitiously throughout the entire meeting, making him laugh with his playful faces at some of Amber’s more ridiculous statements, and it felt like they had an entire conversation even though they didn’t exchange one word during that half an hour.

When they were finally free to go home it was after 21, Robbe realized with a whine. After they all collected their things and were ready to leave, Sander turned around in the doorway, searching for Robbe’s eyes while ignoring the rest of their friends crowding against the door, and when Robbe glanced furtively into his direction his expression turned almost bashful as he said bye, Robin.

And then again with the winking.

Good god this boy.

And how cute it was he couldn’t actually wink? It looked more like a reinforced blinking, but he still looked cute doing it.

Once Robbe came back home that evening, thoughts occupied with bleached hair and the smell of leather jacket, he couldn’t stop himself from searching for Sander’s social media. In just one sitting he gathered a handful of information, finding out Sander was a year older and recently transferred to his school (which would explain how he had missed him in the corridors). He also had a photo with Amber down at the bottom of his profile and from the caption it seemed like they were cousins. 

Robbe’s fingers hovered over the ‘follow’ button, but he didn’t want to seem like a stalker so he just closed the app, throwing his phone on his bed in exasperation feeling sorry for himself and his inexperience in talking to boys.

The universe decided to be graceful for him for once in his life though and put Sander on his path again only 3 days later.

Like every Saturday afternoon Robbe was in the skate park with the broers, taking piss of one another’s skills and trying out new tricks while basking in the October sun that felt more like it was full on spring rather than the beginning of fall. He was in the middle of showing off some of his best tricks to the sounds of his friends hollering when he caught sight of bleached hair in his peripheral, almost falling straight on his ass. But luck was on his side and he avoided making a spectacle out of himself. 

Once he was safely on the ground, skateboard under his foot, he glanced in the direction of white hair one more time to see Sander lowering his vintage camera and whistling, making an impressed face and promptly causing Robbe to downcast his eyes bashfully.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Robin.” 

Robbe sighed. “It’s Robbe.”

“I know, but isn’t that a cute nickname?”

Robbe ducked his head, smiling a little to himself, cursing the heat rising in his cheeks. “Are you always this annoying?”

For a moment, Sander seemed to be taken aback, but then he must have noticed the teasing glint in Robbe’s eyes because he relaxed visibly, confidence back on his face.

Then, easily and offhandedly, he said, “No, just with very certain people.”

If Robbe had any doubts before about Sander taking immense pleasure out of teasing him, he didn’t anymore. He was flashed with another mischievous smile and then Sander nodded at the bowl.

“That was pretty awesome.”

“Thanks.” Robbe scratched at the back of his neck self-conciously, ignoring his friends’ intrigued faces and praying they didn’t say anything stupid. “To be honest, these aren’t even that difficult, anybody could do them...”

“Pff, I tried this skateboarding thing once and let me tell you, I was an absolute disaster so don’t sell yourself short.” Sander nudged at his shoulder with a knowing look, the contact sending a shiver through Robbe’s entire body. 

“So what are you doing here if you suck at it?” He sent him a toothy grin when Sander gaped at his brazen words, faux-scandalized. 

He then lifted his camera swiftly and took a photo of Robbe’s dumbfounded face.

“I’m only around this deadly thing to take artsy pictures of cute boys.”

Looking very proud of himself, Sander laughed at his indignant spluttering, refusing to show Robbe the photo at first, giving in a few seconds later under his killer pout (Sander’s words). 

“So, is this where you spend your afternoons?” he asked casually once they sat down at a nearby bench, Sander scrolling through his camera roll and showing him the photos.

Robbe nodded, watching Aaron from afar attempting the backside ollie and failing miserably. It pulled out a snort from Sander.

“Well, you’re definitely better at it than your friends.”

Elbowing him in the side as a sign of loyalty to his friends, he replied. “Jens is actually better than me.”

Sander sent him a curious look. “Is he your boyfriend?”

“What?! Eww, no! I have way better taste than that.” It’s not like he’d admit he had crushed on his best friend a year ago. So, hopefully, he sounded convincing.

Sander lifted his hands in surrender, laughing at his outburst. “Okay, okay, message received, only the cutest boys for you,” he paused, biting at his lip to hold his smirk. “Makes sense,” he muttered under his breath, but Robbe heard him anyway.

Later that day, he got a instagram notification that informed him that earthlingoddity was following him as of now and damn if that didn’t make Robbe’s heart beat faster.

earthlingoddity sent you a link

S: Considering today’s unfortunate incident, I made you a bowie playlist, need to teach the youngsters like you the real music 😎😏

The first message from Sander made him scoff, but he rolled his eyes at himself anyway when he remembered his conversation with him at the skatepark, asking about the shirt and prompting Sander to quiz him about David Bowie’s songs.

Robbe hid his face in his hands at the mere memory.

Space Cowboy.

How embarrassing. 

Sander tried so hard not to burst out laughing at Robbe’s confusion when his answer was met with a blank stare, bless him.

R: So you're one of those people?

S: What people?

R: Self-righteous hipsters 😜

S: Now now Robin

No need for names 😩

R: It's Robbe

R o b b e

S: Okay Robin ;)

R: 🙄

Unbelievable

S: So 

What's up? 🙃

They kept up at this casual texting for 2 recent weeks, getting to know each other, and Sander confirming that he does, in fact, have a soft side. Robbe also realized he was a much bolder person when no face to face interaction was required when he had more time before responding to Sander. Then there were the occasional “hellos” at school when they crossed paths in the halls, but so far their friendship, if he could even call it that, hadn’t evolved further.

In fact, this party was the first time Robbe had seen him in a week.

Their eyes met for a few short seconds and Robbe waved at him, immediately after wanting to bang his head at the table because who the fuck waves these days? 

Sander didn’t seem to mind this dorky display at all, beaming at him from across the hallway and not paying much attention to Milan who was talking his ear off. A second later, he was out of Robbe’s sight, dragged by Milan and the girls to the living room, leaving him staring longingly after him. 

Before Robbe got his shit together and on shaky legs went there to maybe squeeze out a few words to him, Moyo was already on his way of arranging people into a circle and producing a bottle to spin. 

What a bad fucking timing.

This was so not Robbe’s idea of fun so he started to surreptitiously backing off to the hall to slide out the door but Jana, the traitor, grabbed his arm and sat him next to her, seeming very excited about the game.

It’s not like he was the only one reluctant to play though. Sander’s face looked rather bemused too.

“Come oooon, Sander,” Noor groaned at him, pulling at his sleeve relentlessly to make him plop his butt on her left side. “You promised to leave that sulky slash lovesick face at home and have fun. This is fun!”

“I think we have a different definition of fun, darling,” he retorted, his gaze sweeping through the half-drunk faces, stopping at Robbe’s for a millisecond. It was so quick he thought he imagined the apprehensive look on his face, but then Sander did sit down, letting out a long-suffering sigh and promptly avoided his gaze throughout the game. Which was clearly an intentional effort because they sat exactly opposite each other.

To say Robbe was confused would be an understatement.

And that’s how he finds himself here, sitting in a circle amongst his friends and several strangers who keep hollering and shoving tongues in each other’s throats. He had one close call when the bottle spinned by a redhead girl almost pointed at him, making him hold his breath but then stopping on Moyo sitting on his other side, who was way more eager to fill the deed.

When it’s finally Sander’s turn to spin the bottle, Robbe's heart starts beating double time and he twists his fingers nervously. He realizes with dread that there is no good outcome of this situation; if it lands on any of his friends or any of those few people he only vaguely recognizes, he’s going to have to watch Sander play tonsil tennis with them and his stomach turns unpleasantly with something akin to jealousy at the mere thought. 

But if it lands on him?

Oh god.

The bottle is spinning already, Robbe having missed the moment Sander put it in motion, too busy wrangling with his thoughts about what he should do. The fact Sander has been avoiding his eyes ever since they started this stupid game makes him even more nervous about the whole thing. 

Then the bottle stops, pointing at him so accurately that it leaves no room for question.

And Sander’s face positively falls.

Sitting near him Jens and Moyo are giving him subtle thumbs up and not so subtle shit-eating grins with Aaron next to them clearly confused at their behavior all the while Sander looks like he’s in pain.

Eyes glued to the floor, body rigid, looking like he’d want to be anywhere but here.

People are staring at them, waiting for something to happen and Robbe feels nauseous.

And so humiliated. 

How could he misinterpret Sander’s behavior so much? And it’s not even that, not really. Does the idea of kissing him disgusts him that much he can’t even give him one stupid kiss to avoid putting Robbe on the spot?

From the corner of his eye he can see Noor elbowing Sander in the side and there’s an entire conversation happening between them without one word being uttered. 

Then, several things happen at once. The boys let go of any subtlety and start whooping and hollering like they want to force Sander to make some kind of move, there’s a loud whack coming from the kitchen where one of the couples went to continue their PDA so Jana and Zoe get up to check the damage and then Adi, who has been rummaging through the liquor cabinet for the last ten minutes, yells that he found a ten year old whiskey, making the broers scrambling off the floor to get their hands on it.

The rest of the people are still here with them though. Still staring. And Sander still seems to be rooted to the spot.

And Robbe has had enough. 

Ignoring Noor’s soft Robbe, he gets up and with a heavy heart almost runs to the door, putting his jacket on in a haste, frustration and shame cursing through his body as he runs down the stairs two step at a time, wanting to get outside as fast as he can.

The cold air washes over him once he reaches the entrance and he breaths in shakily, feeling his eyes welling up despite his hardest efforts not to cry.

It just hurts. It really hurts. And if he’s being honest with himself, the fact that there have been witnesses to his humiliation is a small part of the reason why he feels this way. It’s about the fact that it was Sander.

Sander. This boy who let him believe there may actually be someone interested in him. In that way. Sander, who flirted with him, complimented him, smiled at him, listened to him and sent him Bowie playlists.

Sander, who he felt more connected to recently than to any of his friends. 

He wipes at his eyes angrily, scoffing at the fact that this asshole was able to make him cry, when he hears rushed steps on the sidewalk behind him.

“Robbe!”

Walking faster, he tries to ignore the sound until there’s a hand on his shoulder stopping him in his tracks. He turns around ready to blow out in Sander’s face but the boy is faster.

“I’m so sorry for that,” he pants, voice tinted with desperation, apologies written across his face as his eyes flit all over Robbe’s like he’s trying to read his mind.

But Robbe only lets out a humorless laugh. “No worries, I understand, you were very clear. Point taken,” he sneers, starting to walk again.

“No, you don’t understand,” Sander pleads with him, taking his hand in his own to keep him from leaving. Robbe wants to pull it back, but the distressed look in Sander’s eyes makes him hesitate. “I didn’t want our first kiss to be a part of some stupid game. Not when I spent weeks trying to come up with a perfect scenario for our first kiss in my head.”

Robbe promptly loses his breath at his confession. 

“You wanted to kiss me before?” 

“Ever since I saw you,” Sander confirms in a small voice. His demeanor lacks the confidence Robbe got acquainted with, ripped of any trace of the usual conckiness. Instead, Sander appears almost shy, biting his lip nervously as if waiting for a blow and heart-breaking rejection.

There won’t be a rejection though. Not tonight. 

Without second-guessing himself, Robbe takes that one step that still separates them and seals their lips together, hands drifting to Sander’s rosy cheeks on their own, like there was a magnet pulling them in. Sander is stunned at first, his lips unresponsive, but it only takes about three seconds for his brain to catch up and then.

Then.

Then there’s Chernobyl in Robbe’s head.

Fuck.

The way this boy kisses.

Phew.

Robbe’s brain shuts off as Sander’s mouth moves over his with intention, sliding together in a rhythm that leaves him breathless. It’s almost impossible to keep all the noises that threaten to escape inside, one small whimper getting out without Robbe’s accord, but it’s okay because it gets swallowed by Sander’s unyielding lips right after it leaves Robbe’s, making Sander pull him even closer.

Eventually, they have to stop, getting dizzy from the lack of air. When their mouths do separate though it’s only for a centimeter and they keep panting in that small space between them, soon breaking out in quiet giggles.

“I've wanted to kiss you ever since I saw you too. Ever since that stupid meeting,” Robbe admits, feeling brave and like he’s floating on air, no confession scary enough right now. Sander looks very pleased with his words, and Robbe can feel the telltales of his regular confident smile coming back to his face under his lips when Sander pecks him softly.

Then, he draws back, regarding Robbe with eyes full of mischief.

“I only joined to meet you.”

That makes Robbe cock his brow in surprise and he searches his face for a lie or at least a joke, but he doesn’t find any. “You saw me before?”

There’s a pause and then Sander’s smile turns softer. “I saw you the first day of school.”

And, wow. He did not expect such a turn of events. 

“You were sitting at a lunch table with your friends, deep in thought, looking so beautiful you took my breath away. It felt like I saw an angel.”

Blood floods Robbe’s cheek and he drops his eyes under Sander’s intense gaze, because he’s not used to such praise, or praise whatsoever. And then there’s Sander, looking at him like he’s something precious, like he hung the moon and stars, touching him so gently and kissing him so passionately and Robbe feels like passing out.

Sander must have sensed he was getting overwhelmed because he chuckles quietly and cradles his cheek in his palm, thumb sweeping under his eye in a soothing motion as he leaves a few small kisses on his other cheek, melting Robbe in a pile of goo right there on the sidewalk, quiet night around them.

Once he pulls himself together, he can’t resist the tugging at the corners of his mouth and a full-blown smile blooms on his face that’s instantly matched by Sander’s own.

“You know, I don’t think I ever played spin the bottle before but I’d give it zero stars on booking.com,” he declares suddenly pulling a laugh out of Robbe. “I was so scared I’m gonna have to watch you kiss somebody else, phew!” He places a hand on his chest comically, turning on the dramatics. “My poor heart wouldn’t take it, Robin!”

And fuck, he’s so cute that Robbe can only laugh at this (his?) dork, fondly rolling eyes at his antics.

“Yeah, I didn’t want anybody to kiss you either. And it’s Robbe,” he adds with a long-suffering sigh, futilely, he’s sure, but it’s still worth it because Sander’s cheek in tongue expression lets him know the boy loves to rile him up and is not going to stop anytime soon.

Still, to wipe off the smug smile for the time being he pulls him back into a kiss by the lapels of his leather jacket and Sander doesn’t exactly protest such. The second kiss is slower, more thorough, but still mind blowing enough for Robbe to feel heat tugging at his stomach.

“Will you go on a date with me? Tomorrow? Or any other time you’re free? Please?” Sander whispers in the small space between them after they finally break apart, foreheads resting against each other and fireworks going on in Robbe’s brain. Despite them standing so close Robbe can see Sander’s face pretty clear, and he can see his hopeful but tentative expression as he waits for him to answer, eyes growing unsure with each second of silence.

Not wanting to keep him in suspense anymore, he gives his parted lips one more lingering kiss, too weak to resist them when they shine so prettily in the street light above them. “Tomorrow sounds perfect.”

[dungeonecologist]

Honestly, it’s been so long that I kind of forgot how I was writing these...  But I fired up the original Etrian Odyssey for kicks.  I don’t know that I’ll actually finish the whole thing, but I figured I might as well chronicle as I go. And if this blog drops dead withiut warning again, so be it...

If you’re not familiar, Etrian Odyssey was a kind of retro dungeoncrawler released in 2007 for the nds.  It’s core gimmick was using the ds touchscreen for manual mapmaking, having the player put down walls, floors, and various icons and memos to help navigate the first person dungeon crawling experience.  It was a throwback to the old early PC days and some of the earliest RPGs, like Ultima and Wizardry; graphics were minimal and there was no minimap function, so enterprising dungeon divers would whip out the old graphpaper and pencil and map the dungeons themselves.

But beyond this simple attempt to mimic an old analog aspect of the videogaming experience, there’s a more pervasive gamefeel that the whole experience tries to capture.  The use of a grid based map and the charmingly primitive “wallpaper” scenery mixed with the modern design and (relatively speaking...) high quality textures make the cardboard rat maze genuinely pretty and engrossing to get lost in.

I think there is a unique balance it strikes where the formulaic, rather than naturalistic design of the dungeon itself actually lends to the immersion.  You don’t feel pressed to examine every tree or clump of dirt; the structure of the copypaste hall blocks makes it very clear which details aren’t important, and so you can build up a certain momentum, both as you literally navigate the dungeon step by step, but also mentally as you start to develop a kind of tunnel vision sucking you deeper into the maze.  While the map makes sure you never feel “lost” the game has a wonderful way of drawing you into its unknown spaces, the holes in your map, so that by the time you realize that maybe you need to turn around and head back to town... you’ve already been drawn just a few steps too deep, and now, where the exploring had been a leisurely, if cautious, endeavor, the trek back becomes this tense and fraught race for your life.

Anyway... The dungeon is one giant hole in the ground.  It has 5 strata in the core game, plus a bonus 6th stratus outside the plot; each stratum has several floors, and each floor has its own semi-unique little dungeon ecosystem, with enemies, hazards, and mechanics that all kind of build on one another as you make your way through.  The first one is Emerald Grove, which sounds like a Sonic the Hedgehog stage.  It’s a lovely little temperate forest and almost aggressively mundane.  The enemies in the first level, consist primarily of perfectly normal rats, butterflies, and terrifying knife handed moles.

There’s also the Clawbug, which also strikes me as implicitly bigger, given the beating it can take.  They’re meant to teach you the benefits of different damage types, like piercing and magic as differentiated from slashing, and bludgeoning.  But I was an idiot and didn’t bring an Alchemist, so I mostly just ran away from them until I could make a dedicated dive to killing one.  They’re almost more crablike than buglike, and I imagine they’re maybe the size of a large tortoise.

I do want to point out that while later games shift from 2d sprites to 3d models, these early games dont have a very clear sense of scale. So as far as I can tell the treerats are perfectly normal sized rats, maybe a little on the ling side, about a foot in length. And the butterflies less than half that. I do wonder about the moles though... Their humanoid posture makes me want to scale them up. Fighting tiny 6in high men with claws feels somehow too bizarre. Where was fuzzy 3ft high children with knives for hands feels like it makes more sense to be smashing with swords and axes.

And speaking of things I ran away from like a coward: Venomflies.  They aren’t actually native to the first floor, and only appear in an event, if triggered.(which i remembered and avoided)  They introduce you to poison, and even without it can likely wipe your whole party the first time you bump into them.

I’m typically a stickler about the use of recolors, but I do like the way these are utilized.  They’re deceptively similar to the Woodflies already around the dungeon, they thus appear fairly weak at a glance, but the recolor actually comes across less like a simple reskin and more like actual warning colors.  But of course that only becomes apparent when the first round of poison damage cuts your party in half.  Also small detail, but I love that the wing patterns are different.  I also love that there’s some explanation that they were attracted by the flowers in the specific area you’re attacked in.

The whole floor being small fuzzies and bugs is just such an unassuming start to this adventure... And the fact that this harmless looking critters will take a massive bite out of you whne given the chance really sets the pace for how brutal the difficulty curve of these games can be.

[wrestling0neshots]

Crazy - Kane

Does standing up for someone mean you like them? No. No it doesn't. Except in this case.

Requested by Vampirezdarkgurl on AO3 Originally posted on Archive Of Our Own.

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You sat in the corner of catering, alone. Last week you lost a lot of friends because of something you couldn't control.  But to them it was the end of the world. You had been watching the match from the back, Kane vs Chris Jericho, and a few insults had been thrown at Kane.

You had simply said it wasn't right to say such things and suddenly everyone's attention had been on you. You hope no one read too far into it, after all, it was only a comment and it applies to everyone. Not just Kane. Although you have a feeling everyone has decided you're not right to be around, since despite coming in like normal and doing all the things you usually do no one has spoken a word to you.

You tip the bottle of water from side to side, watching it flow. With no one to talk to you've found yourself quite bored all evening. You place the bottle on the table, the water settling.  You take a deep breath, ignoring the feeling that has been bugging you, loneliness.

"They'll come around" you mutter, staring at the water in the bottle. Suddenly the water ripples, and the room is no longer quiet.

"The very fact that you think you can just walk away from me is disgusting. I want my rematch!" You frown, watching as the water calms once more. "You only won last week because I slipped, if I hadn't I would have won that match." The angry voice gets louder, and you finally look up, seeing Chris Jericho standing practically on top of you, shouting across the room at none other than Kane.

"You're going to give me a rematch, tonight, Kane. Whether you want to or not."  "Stop being such a brat, Jericho" you say aloud. "I'm sorry, what?" He asks, looking around for the culprit. 

You shuffle out of your seat and stand, not quite matching his height. "I said, stop being such a brat." He looks more than a touch taken aback by your words, maybe even a little impressed that you've stood up to him. "Y/n." He mutters your name, voice laced with hatred. But a smirk appears on his face, "of course it would be you standing up for Kane. Again." 

Although you can't see Kane you can feel his eyes on you. "So what if I am?" You snap, Chris' smirk growing into a mischievous grin. "It's just.. Well. It's not like it's the first time you've spoken up to defend Kane." You roll your eyes. "Chris shut your mouth." Kane says, now standing at your side.

Which puts you right in the middle of them both. 

"Isn't this something" Chris chuckles, "the picture of romance." "What?" Kane asks. "Oh, you don't know" Chris sniggers, you give him a deadly glare, silently telling him to keep his trap shut. "Y/n here has.. well. More than a bit of a thing for you." 

You frown, "Enough Chris". He only laughs. "No wonder all your friends have ignored you, I mean how messed up do you have to be to fall for Kane? A heartless monster. I mean, come on." You sigh, "Chris, stop."

He laughs, almost sadistically. You scowl, feeling your anger rising.  You keep your eyes fixated on Chris, but can't bring yourself to do anything.  Kane doesn't say a word, reaching right over your head and knocking Chris on his ass. Chris scrambles to his feet, not looking particularly pleased.

He opens his mouth to speak but Kane's voice shuts it quickly. "You're not getting a rematch, and you're not going to poke fun at Y/n. I suggest you stop following me around before I put you in an ambulance." The look on Chris' face is one of a spoiled child who got told no for the first time.  He storms off, slamming the door behind him.

"Y/n." You turn to look at Kane upon hearing your name, "thank you." You stare at him, just a little bit taken aback. You can't recall ever hearing Kane even whisper those words before.

You say nothing, simply staring up into his mismatched eyes. He stares back down into yours, and for a moment you forget the rest of the world exists. For that moment it's just you and Kane.

You look away, feeling odd. Warm and.. fuzzy.  Not a second later you look back up, Kane still stood above you. You question why he is still here, surely it would be easier to just disappear like usual.

He stares down at you in silence, his eyes searching for the answer to an unknown question.

Seemingly unsatisfied with whatever he found Kane turns to leave. You look around, everyone else in catering is preoccupied. Therefore no one will notice if you leave. You silently follow Kane, careful not to bump into anything or make a sound. You follow him out of the main area, down halls that twist and turn, a maze for anyone who does not know their way. But you don't stop, the thought of turning back never once crossing your mind.

You watch from behind a corner as he enters a room, leaving the door slightly ajar. You tread carefully, getting over to it without so much as a loud exhale. The metal of the handle is surprisingly cold, forcing you to draw your hand back in surprise. Instead you place your fingertips against the wood, gently pushing the door open.

"You can stop sneaking around. I know you're here." Kane's voice calls. You bite your lip, continuing to open the door without making a sound. You stand now in the door frame, eyes fixated on the man in the center of the room. "Why have you followed me here?"

"You know.. I'm not really sure. I just felt like I should." You shrug, taking a proper step into the room. "How do you know by coming here that you're not in danger? I'm.. as Chris said. A heartless monster." The anger in his voice is more than evident, but you don't step back towards the door.

"Nothing's dangerous if you know what you're doing." You mutter, taking step after step closer to Kane. "And what is it you're doing?" Kane asks, voice now quiet. "I'm doing what I need to. What I want to." You stop, inches from him.  You look up at Kane, your gazes connecting. You can see the puzzled look in his eyes, he obviously wonders what you're talking about.

You reach up, wrapping your arms carefully around his neck. The puzzled look turns into one that is still curious and questioning but there is a hint of something else. Something you hope matches how you feel in the situation. 

Slowly you pull his face to a height that is easier for you to reach, placing a short but tender kiss upon his lips. He stays there, almost stunned, for what seems like forever.

"You must be crazy." He mutters before repeating your action. You offer a soft smile, recognizing his hand now on the small of your back. "And you must have a heart."