#I have GOT to stop stressing abt publishing asks

[skinandscales-if]

Gonna start pushing for the agender Atlas agenda, the AAA movement if you will

BASED it could even be the AAAA: the agender aromantic Atlas agenda let’s just keep adding the A’s until it becomes incomprehensible

[stevienixxes]

first of all: hello . i was originally just going to leave you be bc this is your private blog and this is YOUR space and i don’t feel like i have the right to infiltrate the space where you do you. HOWEVER, i get incredibly irritated when you put words in my mouth so here is some clarification (and this will be the ONLY time i interact with this blog before i hide it from my view and leave you to it)

my post was referencing this one of yours:

and i did get very irritated at the sight of it bc first of all, i never said those things, and second of all, you’re putting words in my mouth. i did not want to reblog that and argue with you (see my previous reasoning) but this post appeared on my dash after i had interacted with your account prior and i might as well say something.

THAT post was directed at me. i know it was directed at me, you know it was directed at me, and i was irritated that instead of coming to me so we could sort this out and i can tell you what i was trying to say, you instead turned to a community of people you knew would side with you and further vindicate you and your angry. that’s not how mature people handle situations, especially situations that cause you a lot of stress. please try to be mature.

1) you can also not see in my head. if i am attempting to be mean or rude, you will KNOW bc i will be aggressive (as in i will say very obviously nasty shit that cannot be misconstrued as anything but mean). the “talking shit” thing you mentioned was NOT talking shit, it was me just saying “wow, it sucks that my fav villain character is turned into a pedo in 3/4 fics he appears in.” and to further that, I DID NOT KNOW IT WAS WRITTEN BY YOU. it was anonymous, and you wrote me as someone who specifically targeted you for doing that. i did not. i have written similar fics (i have not published them except for maybe one sh fic to the mgst fandom and orphaned it) as a way to cope with my own trauma and mental health. i never made that post to attack you or talk shit abt ur fic, instead i was just expressing one of my frustrations in a lighthearted way (bc that was its intended tone). and again, bc it genuinely irritated me when ppl put words in my mouth, i never said joseph wouldn’t do that. i said he was depraved, just not sexually and that was that (which was also a half joke).

2) stop with the tracy situation. the tracy situation is OVER, and it has BEEN over for quite some time. i have SEVERAL TIMES taken accountability for the things that i said to her, and while i am still vaguely hostile toward tracy bc she did call me a waste of oxygen, if she ever chooses to upload another dark fic, i will not interact with it. it’s called learning and growing and bringing up old shit that’s been done is a step in the wrong direction.

my question to you is this, can YOU see inside my head? you cannot, and that’s why communicating like mature people is very important. yes, i have a DNI proshippers because i prefer not to even look at that content bc it genuinely frustrates me. i have put and said several disclaimers on my PINNED POST to not take what i say at face value bc half of the time, i don’t take myself seriously and no one should either.

that’s my only statement to you on this bc this is your personal account where you do stuff that’s purposefully not on your main and i understand it was very shitty of me to totally invade this blog, but i did really want to talk to you abt this. if you would like to talk more, you can DM me on this blog.

genuinely, i am sorry for any distress i have caused you. i never meant it that way, and if you took it that way i am BEGGING you to just tell me and i could’ve responded with a quick “nah i didn’t mean it that way, mb” and eased maybe just a bit of that tension. i hope that you’re doing alright. i know the struggles of sh and having such a fragile mental state that absolutely anything could send you over the edge. i get it. the only way i got through it was when i asked the people causing the stressors in my life for clarification— sometimes it ended badly, sometimes it didn’t.

you don’t have respond if you want, that’s perfectly fine. but just read it, that’s all i ask of you

"just @ me" bitch there's 1-1000 people I am talking about at one time. I will not "just @ you" because there are about 20 other people I'd need to "just @". And because you actually don't know shit about who I'm talking to. Can you see inside my goddamn head (and fucking understand this is why I still cut and why I still think like this and no I can't stop stopping is not an option that is why I made an entirely separate blog for this shit and the thought of cutting myself open and bleeding out has not left even though I'm scared of dying and don't actually want to do it). And none of you are @ ing me anyways so fuck off.

[starvels]

5, 16, 27, 38, 49 <3

hi sweet ev! thanks for asking 💖

answering asks from this fic writer's meme!

5. how long have you been writing?

i would say i've been writing since i was a kid ! i've always loved poems and prose and i made up two whole fantasy verses and started writing them and character designing when i was like, 10. so longer fiction has always appealed to me. i was the annoying kid that always wanted an essay in school instead of multiple choice, haha.

but yeah, for fandom: i started writing naruto fic when i was in my early teens too, that never saw the light of day. then i was in og spn fandom for a bit and marvel and a:tla and fma and then one direction and then all the way back to naruto and marvel to publish a shit ton of words. life's a circle is the answer!

16. easiest verse to write

mm interesting question!

i feel like i go through phases. for me at this moment, 1872 is real easy to slide into, but in general, we were meant as a verse is very easy to write (and does still have two sequels on my drive awaiting my attention span long enough to finish) and respiraro, si te videro, which uh, i guess its a secret but i have...already started writing...more for...dkjnbkd

27. best review you ever got

oooh difficult! i won't say reviews are best or worst type things, so here are two (relatively) recent ones that i hold p dear:

on rstv:

I'm losing my mind, this is so good. The way you wove the requested elements in, and gave them narrative purpose and emotional weight and coherence within the universe as written. The way you didn't handwave stuff away, physical or emotional, and let revelations and character development be messy and imperfect for both of them.

which felt rly good bc rstv is actually a much heavier plot than i usually do and it is such a complex one to boot, that i was worried about conveying everything well. really affirmed that i am capable of doing this level of intricacy in plot crafting, to me!

and someone in my dune discord server shared with me what they said to a friend of theirs abt my writing in general:

do you ever read something in a style you could probably never write in and just feel this feeling that's like half awe and half burning jealousy? like I this isn't even how I write, but I wish I could write like this, because I like it so much

which felt very uplifting and delightful, coming from a person who is as technically skilled and well read as they are. i've had some worries about how purple my prose is and how meandering my plots are and when i hear things that say my style in particular is enjoyable, it really makes me arthur_clench_fist.gif feel a lot!

38. do you reread your own stories?

oh absolutely, lol. i love what i write, it's catered to my niche interests. i have rstv open on my phone right now for pre-bed reading. and i do reread fics a lot in totality when i'm working on writing them, so i keep everything tidy and structured proper in my head, so i've been reading stop bath and devils in the canyon a lot lately.

will also say - i do read some of my own fics more than others. the ones i've written in massive marathon sprints of 10k a day (rstv, aws, wwm verse, wwwg, etc.) are in some ways more fun to read than ones i spent a long time writing, because they still feel a little mmmm shiny and i haven't worried so much about one line or another that it gives me stress to recall.

49. writing advice

identify what it is that you actually love about writing, and cultivate a relationship with the craft through that. hold onto the good feeling it inspires within you. don't worry so much about process or plot structure. take risks. take inspiration and organize it so you can actually look through it when you need inspiration. read people's work who write what you wanna write and how you wanna write and publish where you wanna write. find your community and be vocal in it; ask about your insecurities if you decide that improving on the craft is what you wanna do.

writing is a bit like carefully preparing meticulous slices of your heart for people to slurp down in a second. learn to meter out how much labor and expectation you want to extend to that cooking. don't take it to heart when people leave without a word to the chef. they still ate it.

find your community and be vocal in it!! nothing replaces a comforting voice in the middle of a vortex of self doubt, calling out to you to go the fuck to sleep because none of the demons roaming your work page at 4AM care about your delicate feelings.

[friendlylocalwhumper]

a long reply to a long anon criticism. deals with race, and oppression as written in whump fiction.

here are a series of asks sent to me about an hour ago, raising a concern/issue with my writing:

1/? dude. i was reading your recent story where emory (a young, gay, black man) was beaten by the cops and i finally had to say something. all your stories where he sits there and worries about how his white boyfriend is the target of police brutality bc of some form of oppression YOU (a presumably non-black person) got to make up?? those have rlly left a bad taste in my mouth, but the one where you actually torture your black character to show how bad the white one has it put me over the edge.

2/? these are real issues. ig i was able to ignore you using systematic brutality as “a fun prompt to write about!” when race wasnt rlly a factor in your stories, but as soon as emory got introduced it became more and more inappropriate of you to twist these ideas. “wouldnt it be sad if lux got beat up just for being a warlock 😔” yeah. and his bf is black, and hes in danger of that every day.

¾ as bad as just ignoring actual brutality was, having to read a story where a young, gay, black man was graphically beaten by police officers for YOUR pleasure, for FUN, when it wasn’t even his race that put him in that position (which isnt even ur place to write abt for torture porn but at least its addressing a real issue) but the fact that he was mistaken as the class you made up and chose to make oppressed?? that was wildly inappropriate.

4/4 this isnt hating on your writing or whatever, so dont call it that and pretend its anything other than informing u of what you can and cant speak about. a reminder of your lane. these arent your concepts to play with, stick to a singular whumper or whatever and cool it on the police brutality since u dont know how to handle it (presuming there even IS a way to handle this correctly as a whump device, which im not convinced there is)

bonus/4 pls dont do the white person thing of just ignoring those messages or going “no its not racist. i know bc i dont think it is/ i say its not.” like. im just genuinely letting you know it’s inappropriate, and you dont get to say “oh its not! i didnt mean for it to be so its not!” so i would appreciate it of you would take it into consideration or at least address it

my response:

there’s some context that i think you’re missing, in terms of how lux’s world came about. i’m gonna try to explain it without sounding like i’m trying to veer off-topic.

the world in which lux and emory live is a dystopia. is it a dystopia because i enjoy thinking about, writing, and daydreaming about systemic oppression? no. oppression isn’t a trope that i particularly enjoy; it’s not, like, something i’m into, you know? the only reason that i set it up like this, with brutal cops and propaganda and general public hatred of this class of people, is because i needed an excuse for lux to get hurt often. i wanted to write him getting beat up, didn’t matter if it was by friends or enemies or assassins or aliens. just as long as i had some kind of general excuse, a plausible reason for him to get hurt as often as i tend to write. so i made a fictional society where people get hurt a lot. lux happened to have magic, thanks to the original prompt that inspired his creation, so i figured he could get targeted for that. that’s why lux, a white boy, is targeted for having magic, and why magic users are oppressed in the universe i made up.

i know that these are real issues. i am white, as you guessed. inherently, i will never truly know what it is like to be oppressed as a black man. i understand why this raised alarm bells for you, and why you felt the need to tell me about your discomfort - to stop my writing of these characters in this universe.

but do i agree with your point that i can’t write oppression because i am white? no. just like i think it’s okay for anyone to write sensitive topics like abuse, torture, conditioning, murder, and assault if they are careful and respectful enough about it. race is a super precarious subject matter, as it should be, because there is a lot of real-life suffering and fear tied into it. i don’t get to decide what’s racist and what’s not.

but i am not fetishizing oppression - or, at least, what i am doing is no different from what other whump writers dealing in sensitive subject matters do. i am utilizing fiction, which will always parallel real life in some way, to create a story that i enjoy writing and reading. i want to hurt lux, so i created a world in which i could do that. i try to walk the tricky line of writing diverse characters without just throwing characters of color around as if it automatically makes my content less white and one-dimensional. i also try my best not to give emory lines about his race, or give him backstory related to being particularly oppressed or privileged, because i don’t feel comfortable putting such words in a black character’s mouth as a white writer.

now for my last point: whump isn’t torture porn. just judging by your automatic wariness and word choice, i’m guessing that you’re not a whump writer. writers in this community are extremely careful. we tag excessively, use content warnings, and do everything we can to help readers avoid content they don’t want to be exposed to. we all know that whump entails the writing of torture, abuse, humiliation, gore, and many other things that, in real life, are terrible to suffer. that’s… kind of what whump is. there’s a general understanding, here, that we’re going to write such heavy things, employing something sort of like suspended disbelief, i guess, to let ourselves enjoy whump without stressing about the real-life parallels to the fiction.

so that’s my response to your criticism.

anon, i don’t really appreciate the fact that your last ask was a transparent bid to get me to publish your messages, but. well. i wanted to do my best to answer instead of just leaving these asks in my inbox.

[writeiolite]

i need you to know your writing is perfect. like really — your writing is so unique. it makes me feel a type of way. like every writer on tumblr is unique but your style is immaculate. like i can’t put it into words ugh!!! the amount of effort you put into each individual word. (i know u have a thesaurus or somn cuz u use big girl words anD I LOVE THAT ABT UR WORK) like idk the way you write, makes me feel like i’m reading an actual published book. like it feels magical. like i shouldn’t be able

+ to read your work for free on here. (i wanna buy u a kofi) like of course i love all the writers i’ve followed on here but the vibe of your writing is so unique that i will read absolutely anything you write, no matter the character. you make me feel a connection to your words. man idk how to put it in words but i cannot stress enough that you are my absolute favorite writer on tumblr. hands down. your writing touches my soul. idk if i’ve said too much so it sounds like an exaggeration now but + pls know i mean EVERY word. i need u to know how good of a writer u are. pls don’t ever stop. luv u

ok i read this before i went to sleep and im reading it again after waking up and ;( i frl wanted to hoard this in my inbox ASFGJASDG so i could look at it all the time hehe but ik i need to answer LMFASOJ

!! THANK YOU !! THERE ARE NO THANKS IN THE WORLD THAT CAN EXPLAIN HOW THANKFUL I AM BUT I WANNA DESCRIBE HOW IT FELT SO!!! i frl saw the last ask and got scared it was hate again but the relief when i saw everything else.. and the way the cool tones of relief burned into hot tears of gratitude like BRO w t f i’m so speechless rly. im becoming a lot more confident in my writing and expanding my style (i used a thesaurus for the first time on this !!!! HEHE) so to hear this ㅠㅠ touching ur soul liKKEKEEEEE??!?!?! dude this is honestly so kind and im rly gonna take this to heart. 

i always go through the ♡ tag when i feel down and this make’s me so.... idk i feel so fucking spoiled by this HAHAH wow. you’re a literal treasure on earth and i feel so lucky to have someone like you reading my work;-; i hope u get treated with the same love and more bc u deserve it!!! im frl just here bullshitting and hoping for the best one day and then putting my soul into it the nest and this just makes it all worth it. so thank you so sososo much for treating me like someone worth praising and acknowledging ♡ i wanna carry u off into the sunset and eat finger sandwiches n shit together like wtf u have my whole heart ;( god idk how to say thank you anymore but im rly rly rly gonna improve my writing even more so i can give u more of these feelings — that’s the least i can do 🥺 thank you for everything frl. u don’t have to buy me a kofi and i appreciate u no matter what. this just makes me so happy that i’m writing and that’s enough for me. i never expected me going “hehe let’s take up writing as a hobby challenge” to turn into this so ;-; i’m rly just amazed at how much i have changed from when i started and how many people i’ve met and touched with my work and aaaaaa. you rly have made me open my third eye 💖👄💖

thank you so much from the bottom of my silly heart for giving me ur time and love and iendnwknkdkanb i couldn’t ask for anything better than this and i’m literally tearing up Again but! not crying!!! that’s growth!! KSNDNAJAJ thank you for helping me love myself a little more and not be so hard on myself 😔

[katsukifatale]

Hey Tg!! I just remembered its NaNoWriMo nect month and i really wanna participate by writing a fic idea ive had for a while but idk how NaNoWriMo works and how id make it fit for a fanfic and since ure like the fanfic god do u have any advice/tips?? Thank you!! 💓

hey sid!

since you’re interested in it you probably already know a bit about nanowrimo. nano is short for national novel writing month and takes place in the month of november. its a world-wide event (and supports non-english participation) and the goal is to write 50,000 words in 30 days. the point of it is to show that anyone -- anyone, even ppl with kids and full-time jobs -- can write a novel if they have the motivation and the inspiration. ive done nanowrimo off and on since 2007 and ive written a couple of fics during that time. since fic is basically a form of fiction writing, which is nanowrimo’s focus, writing a fic is not that much different from writing original fiction like most nanowrimo participants. in fact, nanowrimo encourages it. that said this advice may feel a bit generalized but hopefully theres smth here that will serve you well on your fic-writing endeavors!

if you want to participate you should first and foremost sign up on the website. it provides participants tools to help them along the way, like word counter, pep talks by published authors, forums and groups where you can discuss issues and find solutions, and prizes for finishing. it’s 1000% worth signing up, but the website does get rly slow during november (shocker) so make sure you are uploading your word count and your fic to the website as regularly as possible. anyway, use the website to your advantage! there are groups for practically every area, and the group leaders offer meet-ups, write-ins, and even just advice and support if you’re not into meeting up with strangers lol. 

here’s more about nanowrimo and how it works.

when it comes to writing i think the most important thing for nano participants in general to learn is to not go back and edit your work while nano is happening. i’m someone who edits as they go so this was rly difficult for me to do, but editing during nano takes up precious time and sometimes stops the flow of writing, which defeats the purpose of nano. go back when it’s all done and then you can edit the whole thing more coherently. sometimes the pressure of making word count means what we write doesn’t always make the most sense; editing later should help smooth that over, but that also means you shouldn’t try to post your fic during this time either.

it’s also really helpful to write down some ideas before you start. i’m not sayin you need like a full outline or that you need to know exactly where your fic is going, but it’s good to have a general inkling of what you want to do for when you need it. my first time doing nano i had signed up like the day before bc i forgot abt it and i had no idea what i was doing. my story ended with like 20,000 words still left to write, and since i never sat down and thought abt what i wanted to accomplish it ended up being rly stressful. i still managed to finish but you could tell the story was disjointed lmao. so i think having a general idea of what direction you want to go with your fic is ideal, and writing down some scene ideas or dialogue that interests you or even quotes for inspiration would be beneficial. also know it’s okay to change things up if you feel you need to; you’re not confined to what you wanted to do at the beginning. write down everything you’re thinking prior to starting!

i also kept meticulous track of where i was in relation to where i needed to be. motivation and inspiration can be fickle fiends; some ppl prefer to get their 1667 words down each day like clockwork, and others fluctuate with dips and highs in their daily word counts. mark your calendar with your word count goals if it helps. use the nano website to your advantage -- there’s a lot of help there, a lot of experienced writers with advice. make playlists with different moods so you can find the right vibe you need to write. and since you’re writing fic, use your fic community as a motivational tool. your followers, writer peers, and friends are at your disposal. keep yourself accountable by blogging abt it, even if it’s just a brief progress post. know where you’re at every day. 

hmm i think that’s all i got for now! if you wanna be my writing buddy (a feature on nanowrimo) feel free to ask!

hope this helps!