#I have 2 whole ass pianos | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sofs16 · 2 years ago

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our leclerc win

continuation to a paddock day — next

liked by charles_leclerc and 30 others

yn it’s charles day! i know im usually very unserious and goofy at times but lets be fr, charles is my other half. actually, he allows me to be me so basically he’s my whole being. ill say what everyone is thinking, i know people are like omg f1 driver! omg! BUT HE IS MUCH MORE THAN THAT! he burns pasta for a living (he’s learning atm), plays me beautiful songs on the piano im always blessed to hear, reassures me when things dont feel right, and everything in between that. i will always be behind you, charles leclerc. even if i have to find a job soon, i will be supporting you through a screen. i love you and it’s kind of stupid but i think youre the one for me. thanks for choosing me

view all 50 comments

landonorris Your love is disgustingly sweet but happy birthday mate🎉

charles_leclerc I love you so much. charles_leclerc 😘😘😘

charles_leclerc You are the one for me as wel, cherie❤️ [liked by yn] pierregasly Charles is crying on my shoulder

⤷ yn good

⤷ charles_leclerc 😂

october 16, 2023

liked by charles_leclerc, and 35 others yn hot a$$ 💋

view all 37 comments

landonorris why not just say ass

⤷ yn because im manifesting money, dumbass

⤷ charles_leclerc Woah.

⤷yn dw baby, waldo lets me call him dumbass because he thought i was one of the development drivers and then got embarrassed and walked into a door

⤷ landonorris I THOGUHT WE WERENT TELLING ANYONE ABT THAT

⤷ yn 🤷🏻‍♀️ loyal gf 1st, human 2nd, lando friend 3rd.

⤷ carlossainz55 what about me, yn

⤷ yn ooooo . loyal gf 1st, human 2nd, carlos fan 3rd, lando friend 4th

⤷ landonorris EZCHSE ME

⤷ fernandoalo_oficial Hello Yn👋

⤷ yn NEVERMIND loyal gf 1st, fernando fan 2nd, human 3rd, carlos fan 4th, lando friend 5th

⤷ landonorris Wow.

⤷ yn but being human is loving lando norris so 🤷🏻‍♀️

⤷ landonorris My fav wag (unless i get a gf) 🧡

[liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, fernandoalo_oficial, yourbsf, and pierregasly]

november 16, 2023

liked by charles_leclerc, and 18 others

yn WAHTTTT!!! first (and last of the season) day back at the paddock as A WAG. A WAG. ME?

view all 7 comments

charles_leclerc We’ve been dating 5 months, mon ange…

⤷ yn AND ILL NEVER GET OVER IT

landonorris Pretty!

⤷ charles_leclerc Norris. ⤷ landonorris AS A FRIEND MATE

⤷ yn YOURE SO CUTIE LANDO THANKS!!! yourbsf PROUD MOM ERA [ liked by yn ]

november 24, 2023

| kellypiquet has requested to follow you! 10m

| maxverstappen1 has requested to follow you! 2m

2 requests accepted!

yn.updates

liked by ynlover16, and 1,181 others

yn.updates After 5 months, Yn has gone public on Instagram and is now verified! view all 47 comments

ynlocer16 3RD RECENT LORD HAVE MERCY

⤷ charles.yn AHAHA CHARLES FIGHTING THE DRIVERS IN THE COMMENTS

charlferrari ALL THE CHARLES CONTENT 🥹 OUR QUEEN!!! lwymmdts THE BIRTHDAY POST LAST MONTH. november 24, 2023

abu dhabi

liked by charles_leclerc, and 381,272 others

yn p1 in abu dhabi and in my heart @charles_leclerc ❤️ no longer lowkey wag 😞😞😞😞 plsxdont hate me i have humor

view all 161,181 comments

ynprix SHE SILLYYYYY LOVEU THANKS FOR GOING PUBLIC QUEEN

⤷ yn @landonorris SEE i AM silly! ⤷ landnorris SOMETIMES

charles_leclerc I love you 😘

chayn im crying i just scrolled thru all her posts and saw some charles’ comments 🥹

⤷ yn.fan unfortunately she archived a lot of them:( ⤷yn_edits @yn PUT EM UPPPP

⤷ yn sorry yall thats private 😞 maybe when both of us pass away together

chachaferrari STOP DOES THIS MEAN CHARLES LEARNED HOW TO MAKE PASTA

⤷ yn ;)

ynsart i love how active she is! she’s replying (or liking comments) to everyone, its so wholesome

[liked by yn]

yourbsf ALWAYS LOWKEY

⤷ yn preach sister

november 26, 2023

charles_leclerc

liked by yn, and 4,272,585 others

charles_leclerc i see you, amour @yn 🌦️

view all 1,172,588 comments

yn dang, i’ll be sneakier next time! [liked by charles_leclerc]

ynferrari She takes photos?!?

⤷ charles_leclerc She double majored and did photography 💞

⤷ yn_lovvv HE SOUNDS LIKE A PROUD BFFF

december 2, 2023

charles_leclerc

liked by 3,181,493 others

charles_leclerc i love them 🤍

view all 248,595 comments

ynstyle YN MET THE FAMILY?

⤷ yn shit my pants the whole flight but i love them

⤷ arthur_leclerc Yup, after you introduced yourself with a different name👍🏻

⤷ yn ARTHUR WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT LLEASE I SEESR TO GOD

⤷ charles_leclerc I quite liked the name changed

ynred i feel like she said yn leclerc. [liked by yn]

december 24, 2023

liked by 172,484 others

yn BEFORE ANY OF YALL SCOLD ME. yes, i brought the pizza. but did i think he’d ask for it mid (climbing/hiking? i dont even know babes) NO!

view all 35,283 comments

leclerc_pascale oh mon dieu

⤷ yn JE SUIS DÉSOLÉ MAMAN, C’EST TOUT CHARLES! i’m sorry maman, it’s all charles!

⤷charles_leclerc j’ai un rêve. respect that, amour 😓 i have a dream. respect that, love

⤷ yn i respect that dream of eating in CERTAIN places but okay😘

yn1989 jesus how many languages does she speak

⤷ yn 7🤍

⤷yn1989 WHAT. WHICH ONES

⤷ yn german, italian, french, japanese, spanish, english, and icelandic! ⤷ yn1989 charles’ favorite number is 7 😭 you both are so cool

⤷yn IVE BEEN SAYING THIS AND HE ASKED ME OUT ON JUNE 3, 2023. 6(june)+3+2+2+3= 16. LIKE ARE U JOKING

⤷ landonorris @ charles_leclerc your girlfriend is actually crazy. She’s a crazy fan

⤷ charles_leclerc I love that about her though. All of her 💞

⤷ yn 🥲🙂 shaking. kicking my feet. biting my nails. screaming. ripping my hair out

january 14, 2024

chayn.updates

liked by yn, and 5,695 others

chayn.updates yn wearing one of charles’ polos in her recent post ;)

view all 492 comments

charleswife midddd. could literally be any polo..

⤷ charloss why are you actin like u have a chance bbg 😭 and ferrari and charles’ initials in on the bottom collar

january 18, 2024

charles_leclerc

liked by 8,707,606 others

charles_leclerc I usually do not post for birthday’s but the world needs to see my AMAZING photos of you (@ yourbsf)😘 Yn, meeting you has changed my life like no other. to the chef in our house, the singer, the one translating a lot of things for me, dressing me up, and “everything in between”, happiest birthday amour ❤️ I got my Leclerc win when I met you

view all 4,484,585 comments

yourbsf yn will lose her shitballs over this and IM THE BETTER PHOTOGRAPHER

lewishamilton Happiest birthday to the life of the grid! landonorris happy birthday smartass 🧡

⤷ yn thanks dumbass 😘

yn IM GOIN CRAYB

yn I DONT DESERVE YOU IM SHITTING MY PANTS WHSTVTHEFUCK

pierregasly Yn is born on the 16th too?!?

⤷ yn hehehehehe

daniel3.jpg I took that first photo👍🏻

leclerc_pascale ♥️je t’aime. joyeux anniversaire xx

⤷ yn merci maman! à bientôt 🥹🤍🤍🤍

[liked by leclerc_pascale, and charles_leclerc]

may 16, 2024

liked by 1,282,182 others

yn life’s hectic as usual

view all 329,585 comments

landonorris what do you even do. im still so confsued

⤷ yn im a fulltime gf who sometimes goes to her job and takes pics and makes clothes 🤷🏻‍♀️

charles_leclerc yeux d’ ange

⤷yn 💌

charlie166 charles sent those flowers. bet all my money.

⤷yn mans be winning in imola and sending me flowers and sending me virtual kisses 💋

view all 117,383 comments

may 27, 2023

charles_leclerc and yn’s stories

replies:

pierregasly replied to yn’s story: Get a room

charles_leclerc replied to yn’s story: lovely photo of me baby🫤 thank you

yn replied to charles_leclerc’s story: damnnnn nice photo tnx babe. i look like a housewife

landonorris replied to yn’s story: EWWWWWW

carlossainz55 replied to yn’s story: Chill, yn. Breathe.

#f1 fanfic #f1 imagines #formula 1 #charles leclerc #charles leclerc fanfic #social media au #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc 16 #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc one shot #charles lecrelc #charles leclerc imagines #formula one #social media #formula 1 x you #formula 1 x reader #landonorris

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msschemmenti · 4 months ago

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girl in danger

part one

summary: JJ and Emily’s Southern Belle is in danger.

a/n: trying my hand at a bit of angst and suspense with my southern belle reader. i’m not exactly sure how this is going to go but i’m excited for the challenge. this takes place before “under one roof” and after the end of “girl next door” — this is all apart of the Sugared and Sweetied series on ao3

Monday. April 28th - The ass-crack of dawn

“Make it stop,” Emily murmured, burrowing further into Y/n’s back. There was no way it was time to get up for work. She felt like she’d only closed her eyes 30 minutes ago, there had to be more time in bed. More time wrapped around her girlfriends. The weekend couldn’t possibly be over already. But as the ringing alarm continued and the youngest of the three roused awake she knew her time was up.

She and JJ had stumbled in from a case just after 2 and persuaded Y/n to come spend her last few hours of sleep with them in their bed. And as the alarm was shut off, Emily recalled the younger woman’s warning about having to be up early to start her day. In a last-ditch effort to cling to the comfort, Emily pulled the younger woman back into her chest and kissed her bare shoulder. “Five more minutes.”

Y/n grinned sleepily, allowing the older woman to snuggle her a bit more but sigh shook her head nonetheless. “I told you last night. If I came over I’d have to go home early to get ready for the day.”

“Yeah, but do you really have to?” Emily urged, eyes already closed again.

JJ, who hadn’t even flinched when the alarm went off, finally lifted her head from Y/n’s chest with a pout. “Shh, too much talking.” Y/n rolled her eyes affectionately and placed a kiss on the sleepy woman’s head then finally untangled herself from her girlfriends. Both women whined tiredly and peeled their eyes open to watch the younger woman collect her things. “The weekend is too short,” JJ grumbled.

“I’m sure spending it chasing serial killers and on a plane didn’t help it feel long either. But go back to sleep, I’ll lock the door behind me.” Y/n waved over her shoulder as she shimmied back into her pajamas. “You can still get a few hours before heading in.”

“Will we see you tonight?” JJ asked hopefully. Their late return had secured them a late start and a week off rotation.

“Yep, but you might get in before me. I’ll pop over when I get home. Now give me some sugar so I can start my day properly.” Y/n kneeled on the edge of the bed with puckered lips.

“As I’ve expressed for the whole semester, in order to pass this class y’all will be required to participate in the departmental recital at the end of the year. Now for most of you, we’ve been working on your piece during performance class for the last few months. But there are three of you, I just haven’t been able to convince to workshop in class.” Y/n addressed the class, leaning against the piano in the choir room. She was three weeks out from finishing her first year teaching here in DC and this recital was marking the start of her summer. “With that being said, can I get three volunteers for next week's performance class?”

Y/n surveyed the room for the three students she was hinting at. She’d hoped they’d take the bait without her calling them out, but she was sadly mistaken when neither of them met her eyes. She’d worked with most of them individually over the semester, but apparently, something about being workshopped in front of your peers just really wasn’t appealing to them. At the silence, she pulled her notebook out to confirm the three students who still hadn’t volunteered for class. She read the three highlighted names over in her head and tried to smile out at them as she gazed at the class. “Claire, Matt, and Jordan. You three are the only ones who haven’t done the seminar this semester. And in case anyone’s forgotten– you’ve gotta do seminar at least once to pass Class Voice. Since the recital is coming up, let’s go ahead and put y’all down for next week, so I don’t have to give anyone a zero. Sound fair?” All three students nodded solemnly and Y/n sighed sadly. “Listen, I’m willing to throw in some extra lessons before next week”s class. You’ll just need to let me know when. Anything you need to help get you ready for workshop and then the recital.” She got some grunts of agreement and shook her head in amusement at her students. College students really had a way with words. “Alright, that’s all for today. Claire, Matt, and Jordan just let me know if you want some extra time. Have a good one y’all.”

Everyone gathered their things quickly, eager to take any and all extra time they could get with finals right around the corner. Y/n watched most of the students leave and grabbed her things to head for her office. The room quieted behind her and she slung her bag over her shoulder ready to leave, only to come face to face with Matt still sitting in his chair. Y/n jumped a bit with a cautious and uneasy smile. “Oh Matt, did you need something?”

The younger man’s eyes widened as if he was shocked he was being addressed, but stumbled over a reply. “No, not really.” His cheeks seemed to glow under Y/n’s attention and his eyes roamed the room wildly. When he moved his hand to the back of his neck to pull at the loose hair there, Y/n furrowed her brows in concern.

“Honey, are you okay? You’re looking bout as red as your shirt.” Matt huffed out a laugh and seemed to get even more flustered but he shook his head nervously. “Well alright, let me know if you wanna work on your song sometime.” When the student nodded, Y/n smiled and exited the classroom heading up the stairs for some planning before her next class.

“Claire, how about we work tomorrow, and Jordan we work Thursday? I’ve got a rehearsal with the faculty Wednesday night.” Y/n asked scanning her calendar for the week. Both girls nodded their understanding and pulled their planners out to note the addition to their week.

“Thanks, Professor Y/Ln. My last class is over at 5:30, what time should we plan to start?”

“Can you do 6? That way I can get you out of here before dinner time.”

“That works, I’ll let Miguel know and see if he can swing it.”

“Great, same time Thursday for you Jordan?” Jordan nods with a salute and both she and Claire head for the door. Y/n brought all her open tasks for the day to a close and gathered her things to return home. She’d already gotten a message from Emily and JJ saying they’d picked up dinner and were waiting for her return. So there really wasn’t any reason for her to stick around longer than she had to. With food and some loving on her mind, she burst through her office door, eyes cast down on her keys. What she hadn’t expected was a wall of a person to be waiting for her outside. Again, Matt stood eyeing Y/n. She eyed the guy in confusion with one hand on her keys and the other on the door. He really seemed to move silently. “Hello again, Matthew. You’re a quiet one, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” the kid nodded, hands tightening around the strap of his backpack subtly. “I was hoping we could go through my piece for the performance class. And the recital.”

Y/n let her eyes float to the hall clock behind Matt’s head and tried to convey some sort of sympathy toward the student. It was going on 8 pm and again, she had dinner and loving waiting for her. She flashed him an apologetic smile before speaking, “I’m sorry Matt, I was heading home for the night. I’ve got some guests waiting for me tonight. Tell ya what, come by sometime tomorrow and we can find a day to work on your piece, okay?” Y/n locked her office and started heading down the hall hoping to inspire Matt to start moving as well.

Matt followed down the hall and coughed out a response, “Uh yeah! Sure. I’ll stop by tomorrow between my classes. Sorry I came so late today, time just got away from me in the lab.”

They came to a stop at the end of the hall, Y/n heading for the faculty parking lot and Matt the front door. Sliding her phone from her purse, Y/n waved him off easily. “Don’t worry about it Matt. I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good night!” She gave him one last wave and exited the building to head home to her girlfriends.

“Honeys, I’m home!” Y/n grinned, tossing her purse and work things by the door in favor of seeking JJ and Emily out. She found JJ first, nestled in the corner of the couch with a movie paused on the tv. Y/n flopped almost on top of JJ with a content sigh.

“Welcome home baby.” JJ grinned down at the younger woman pulling her snuggly against her chest. Emily exited the kitchen shortly with three bowls stacked in her hands and laid them out for them on the coffee table.

“Does it feel weird getting in after us?” Emily laughed, watching as Y/n all but purred as JJ ran her fingers soothingly over her back.

“I don’t like it.” Y/n pouted and turned her head from JJ’s neck. “I would’ve been here sooner but everyone is obsessed with me or something. Three students in my office after 7? That’s about as pleasant as a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.”

Both JJ and Emily rolled their eyes and laughed, adding that one to the ever growing list of absolutely absurd things that came out of the younger woman’s mouth. “Oh yeah, that sounds bad. What did they need?”

“We were scheduling some extra lessons to help them through their stage fright. I’ve been telling them all semester that they have to perform in order to pass the class and now we’re three weeks out and now they’re all shakin like a leaf in a hurricane. So I offered some of them some extra help with their pieces.” Y/n explained turning fully in JJ’s arms to face Emily.

“So you told them to come by your office?” JJ asked skeptically.

“Well yes, I have to. That doesn’t mean I thought they’d actually do it. I’ve been saying this all year long and no one has actually done it. Especially not after 5.” Y/n grumbled.

“Right, right. How dare they do what you ask.” Emily teased, passing the bowls to the women with a smile.

“I know you’re being sarcastic but yes how dare they. Now I’ll probably be coming in after y’all for the rest of the week at least. The balance of the world has shifted.”

“Order must be restored!” JJ jokingly cursed, waving her free hand in the air dramatically.

Y/n frowned and flicked JJ’s thigh, “For people who were begging to have me over just this morning, I’m getting a lot of teasing and not enough kissing. I’ve been here for what? 20 minutes and neither of you has used those smart mouths for good.” Both JJ and Emily fought to keep their laughter at bay but both puckered their lips to meet their girlfriend’s lips where she laid. “Now that’s more like it.”

#emily prentiss x reader #jennifer jareau x reader #jemily x reader #gnd fanfic universe #gnd series universe #msschemmenti

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jamiepaige · 7 months ago

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Constant Companions Closeup #6: BREEZE BLOWS

(also on spotify!)

Welcome back… to Constant Companions Closeups…. a series of in-depth dives into the songs off of my latest album, Constant Companions…

Last time, we talked about Cadmium Colors! Today, we're keeping the alliteration but moving back a letter in the alphabet! Breeze Blows, with Marcy Nabors and Marlow Jacobs!!

---

oh baby mental health

Last post, I mentioned as an aside that I have OSDD-1b - a kinda complicated diagnosis that is defined by not quite being Dissociative Identity Disorder but being similar enough. And obviously that's super reductive but I'm not an expert on this I just have brain peculiarities. I won't fully explain how this functions, or every intricacy of how I deal with it, but I can try to convey what it feels like.

My sense of self is comprised of parts. Not an exceptionally high number, but nonetheless distinct parts that fit together like puzzle pieces to make a full individual. They talk to and interact with each other, and most times it is one specific part that takes the lead while the others simply follow, but ideally, they all move in sync and work together.

This collaborative effort is relatively new and was an incredibly hard-fought state of being. For many years, it felt much more like there was just me and a bunch of nightmare voices in my head constantly lashing out violently!! My own inner monologue felt completely out of my control... and it ultimately turned out that it kinda was, but not for the reasons I thought.

Showing those voices kindness and starting a conversation was the big moment of revelation for me, that there was this whole other half of me that had been locked in a box for god knows how long. She was scared and lonely and just wanted to be understood, and really, that was all I wanted as well.

Writing these self-directed songs of love and companionship became a really important part of becoming 'whole', in some sense. Not that there are no more individual parts or anything!! Just that my inner monologue these days is far more of a conversation between friends.

...

Constant companions, if you will.

---

youtube

As a couple people have pointed out, this song is very much a counterpoint and companion piece to weathergirl, a song by my band FLAVOR FOLEY! Neither song was originally written with the intention of complimenting the other, but the parallels simply emerged naturally, and it only felt right to reinforce them. At 2:14 in Breeze Blows, you can even hear the icy little keys motif from weathergirl front and center!!

On that note, while I would love to make MVs for every song on the album, Breeze Blows is the one song I am dead set on putting out an MV for no matter what... A yellow, very natural aesthetic to contrast with weathergirl... ANRI in a sundress, fluttering in the wind and clutching her hands to her chest...

the fucking yuri...

Of course, this song was a collaboration with some other dear friends of mine, Marcy Nabors and Marlow Jacobs! We've been fastidious friends for freaking forever. Marcy, especially, has been with me through thick and thin - together, we've gone on road trips, worked on Homestuck music, bounced countless ideas off of each other, embarrassed ourselves in front of each other's parents, queued for probably a triple digit number of FFXIV instances, and of course, collaborated on some of my favorite music I've ever released. Not to discredit Marlow or anything!! These two are genuinely some of the coolest people I know, and I love them wholeheartedly. Hopefully we can play some mahjong again sometime so I can kick their asses and feel like I'm even a tenth as cool as them

Our initial ideas for this song came together while we sat at the piano at my parent's house, aimlessly banging out chords together while I left my phone recording on the other side of the room just in case. Ultimately, the voice memo barely sounds anything like Breeze Blows, because the process of translating things to MIDI on Marcy's laptop also introduced a lot of defining creative choices, but it's still at least amusing to hear.

Apologies and/or you're welcome for the shorter post this time around!! Thank you for reading regardless; If you have any more questions, I'd be glad to answer them below!! Tomorrow... we can grow so big.... (aggrandicize)

#music #jamie paige #bandcamp #constant companions #behind da scenes #Bandcamp #Youtube

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xreaderdumpster · 4 days ago

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X-Men playlists Pt. 2!

I have had this in my drafts for SO long. Here's a part 2! Includes some bonus characters- Nightcrawler, Bishop and Deadpool (know he's not an X-men character but I had ideas for him.

Scott- Piano man by Billy Joel (defo does a karaoke rendition of this song with Logan and Morph on harmonica), Would you fall in love with me again from Epic: The Musical, City of Stars from La La Land, You spin me right round by Dead or Alive, Scotty doesn’t know by Lustra (wonder why this is here hmmmm…), Mr. Loverman by Rick Montgomery, Crazy little thing called love by Queen.

Gambit- Ma Meillure Ennemie by Storme (French and a lil sad), Born with a broken heart by Damiano David, Pretty Please by Dutch Melrose, Fuck her gently by Tenatious D, The Shadow of love by the Damned, Down in New Orleans by Dr. John and Out the window by Bowling for soup (makes too much sense).

Logan- Always on my mind by Elvis Presley (tie between this and Jailhouse Rock), Put your head on my shoulder by Paul Anka, Goodbye yellow brick road by Elton John, Sympathy for the devil from Rolling Stones, Carry on my wayward son by Kansas, If you seek Amy by Britany Spears (A. Guilty Pleasure song and B. I follow the headcanon he enjoys partners across the mansion so is passed around like a blunt), I’d do anything for love (but I won’t do that) by Meatloaf.

Rogue- Before he cheats by Carrie Underwood, Backwoods Barbie by Dolly Parton (I know Rogue isn’t exactly wearing push up bras and heels but it gives her vibes), Sally’s song from Nightmare before Christmas, Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Ray, Burnin’ Love cover by Wynonna, Gunpowder and Lead by Miranda Lambert and Couldn’t make it any harder by Sabrina Carpenter (this song is ROGUE’S!!!)

Jean- Hold my hand by Lady Gaga, End of Beginning by Djo, Girls on Film by Duran Duran, Rise like a phoenix by Conchita Wurst (I said I’d avoid The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy!!), Rocket man by Elton John, Dog days are over by Florence and the machine and Around here from the 9 to 5 musical (this feels like a whole intro to being an X-men with Jean being Violet and some poor schmuck being Judy).

Storm- Go your own way by Fleetwood Mac, One last time by Ariana Grande, Where have you been by Rihanna (I feel like she’d kick ass at this song on Just Dance), I’m every woman by Chaka Khan, Bulletproof by La Roux, She wolf by Shakira and Goddess by Laufey (I feel this song is really Storm coded!)

Hank- Misty Mountains from the Hobbit, Window shopping in New York by Fly Guy Five, My way of life by Frank Sinatra, Dream a little dream of me cover from Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald, Vincent by Don McLean (a good song about an influential artist, what’s not Hank coded about that?), The Plagues from Prince of Egypt soundtrack (I feel like him and Kurt would watch this film together every so often!) and Don Quixote: Act 1: Quiteria and Basillio (I loved Beast and Carly’s relationship from the original cartoon, this gives me them vibes)

Jubilee- Pink Pony Club by Chappell Roan (probably anything by this woman or Sabrina Carpenter), If I Can’t Dance by Sophie Ellis-Bextor, Firework by Katy Perry, Bad reputation cover by Avril Lavigne, Say so by Doja Cat, Bubblegum bitch by Marina and the Diamonds and Dirty car by Studio Killers (Most studio killers songs give me Jubilee vibes!)

Morph- If we were gay by NSP (them x Logan vibes), One of your girls by Troy Sivan, A Human’s touch by TWRP, Code by Nemo (of course I had to include a non-binary singer!), G.U.Y. by Lady Gaga, Cartoons and Vodka by Jinx Monsoon (I think Morph and Jubilee would watch Drag Race a fair bit) and So good right now by Fall Out Boy.

Bonuses-

Kurt- I will wait by Mumford and Sons, 99 Luftballons by Nena (an obvious choice but!!), Break my stride by Matthew Wilder, Take on me by a-ha, Through Heaven’s eyes from Prince of Egypt soundtrack (anything from this movie really but this one makes me think of his talk with Gambit in X-Men ‘97), Don’t go breaking my heart by Elton John and Kiki Dee and I’m still here from Treasure Planet.

Bishop- Heartbeat by Childish Gambino, Danny don’t you know by Ninja Sex Party (Morph introduced him to this and it’s the only song of NSP he likes), Angry by Rolling Stones. Don’t think he’d be that into what we would see as modem music hence the shorter list.

Wade- FYI I wanna F your A by Ninja Sex Party (I’m a Poolverine shipper so this is targeted specifically at Logan), it boy by bbno$, Hot to Go by Chappell Roan, U know what’s up from Turning Red (very much NYSNC vibes), Off my face by Maneskin, Don’t Cha by Pussycat Dolls and Give it to me by the Northern boys (Morph and Wade would love this band imo).

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rewordthis · 11 days ago

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To Be Hero X [First 7 Episodes observation sheet + rant]

So, I’m slowly rewatching the series and I… IS GHOSTBLADE A FREAKING BUTCHER??? Ahem.. *straightens posture* anyway, as I was saying, I have some observations to share.

Btw, just to be on the same page—I watch the Japanese version because trying to catch all the subs and the visuals is a pain in the ass. You know… btw.

So, what I gathered from Episode 1: What The Actual F—

The year is 41 After Commission.

When Lin Ling gave the finger at Nice, he said: “someone’s gonna steal/take over your spot,” which… he does?

Nice did commit suicide: a) He was a hero that could actually fly and at any point of his fall he could have done so but he didn’t. b) he did his trademark move knowing full well that Lin Ling recognised him. That was his last bit of committing to his role. If anything he understood his position and acted the part. c) He didn’t utter a single peep while going down. He was done. d) This is just to point out that: THE PRODUCTION IS SO MEAN TO HIM, BRO. THEY HAD HIM BREAK HIS WAIST BEFORE HITTING THE GROUND! (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

Before Nice’s suicide, there was an incident that was worrying him. Did he possibly fucked up? It’s not unthinkable that underperforming could have potentially triggered his perfectionism OCD and made him decide he didn’t want to live anymore. Having OCD is like an impending doom is going to find you if something isn’t as it SHOULD. Your nerves get fried and suffice to say, you really feel like it would be easier to be put out of your misery. On that same note, though we can tell the incident was indeed important and not just Nice overreacting, since Shang himself proposed that they should let him take some time off.

The Nice ad screen glitching when Nice appeared: I don’t think that’s X’s doing. Maybe it’s Lin Ling’s, considering the way the series progressed (more on that later*).

Another interesting touch of Nice’s character intro… and exit: The doves. The whole scene actually brightens in a soft sunset and a flock of white doves fly by as he walks right through it—the very picture of perfection and purity. I could also say innocence.

In this episode we have a 2D scene when the series open with Nice’s battle, later when Lin Ling is reminiscent of how he came to love Moon and then again when Lin Ling is being hit and subsequently consumed by fear. It only turns back into 3D when the opponent is defeated—aka the danger has passed, in all cases.

Lin Ling after being taken in as Nice is told to act with confidence and never doubt himself and after he accepts that this is his role alone now and nobody else can be him (Nice) he actually gets the strength to defeat Fear (and be let back at the Hero Tower). *Trust value system may be a boost enough for someone to become a hero and even affect their daily life but ultimately, it cannot be used in place of conviction and it can also be overwritten as we will see later in Ep. 4.

The episode ends with Lin Ling seeing Moon dead. But does anyone have any idea why he had his eyes closed right until the second he looked back at her? Could his amplified trust value trigger an innate skill of his? Like seeing the future? Could he maybe even… idk… had feared of such an outcome before from one of her fights, thus turning this into a potential future? Doesn’t that sound awfully similar to what happened with Nice? Hm???

Also. Nice was a ballet dancer and had a piano in his apartment. Like… I’m getting really upset over this for no apparent reason. The reason is that he was a perfectionist, obsessive little dude that loved art. Of course I’m upset. Damn. (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)

Episode 2: Doomed Yaoi

In this episode what we see is how much Moon hated Nice. My love, I don’t know how to tell you this, but she sucks! You don’t go “isn’t this great?!” when you hear about someone dying. I mean… how hard could he possibly be making her life to hate him so much? Though, I was impressed that she instantly knew it wasn’t him just by the sheer hate she had for him. Jeez.

Finding out that Nice was also a performer—dancer duo with Wreck (the audio called him King Destruction, btw)—who he had also roped into the hero act because apparently they were close. He was also indicated to be a ballet dancer at Episode 1, but here we get to see that he had pursued a dancing career first. Could he be aiming to being a hero because he liked the idea? Or because he wanted to do more? To help people? To be more, even? A note here: Ballet is a rigorous and exhausting form of performance same as correct piano performance, both classic arts as well. It is based on pursuing perfection and having strict boundaries—anyway, others have pointed this out before, too. Point is: His OCD background gets even more solidly painted as character trait.

Wreck going “I’m not handing you over to anyone”! He. Is. Possessive Lover™︎! Love that for him, hated the outcome. R.I.P. beauty-mark boy, you were for real. 😔

Again, 2D scenes are the past reiteration and fighting ones. Hmmm…

Lin Ling being a sliiightly manipulative little dude when the discussion comes at Moon wanting out of the Hero business: like, yeah I am Nice and will fulfil my contract but if she’s out I’m coming out of the closet, too. LMAO

Lin Ling: I am Nice and play nice so long as my crush plays with me~

Episode 3: Bruh…

Year 34 After Commission. Firm Man first appears and defeats Old E-Soul’s nemesis. Enters Top 10 as No. 10.

Year 36 After Commission. Firm Man becomes the symbol of Hero’s will.

2D scene is once again the backstory reiteration.

Lin Ling only just begins to understand the weight and importance of being a hero.

As Firm Man said to Lin Ling; everyone makes their decisions by case, not all apply equally on every case. What didn’t work for Firm Man may very well work for Lin Ling so long as he acts according to his own wishes. Hmmm… Does that ring a bell so far?

Also, first mention of E-Soul and the chance to see both Old and New. Yang Cheng is helping out civilians on the street after Wolf Girl’s attack. His right hand is a mechanical one.

Episode 4: What The Actual F—. 2

So as we have seen so far, fans’ will affects Heros’ will. Here Lin Ling can’t even get out of the house. But, as I mentioned in episode 1, Trust Value system can get overwritten if the hero is willing to break image. This is how Lin Ling manages to eventually enter the elevator, he breaks the image of Nice and his connection to it. That allows him to act as himself, unrestrained by the fans’ will. He finally makes his resolve.

All 2D scenes are once again taking place during the fights and the past. The ads within universe are 2D because they are tailored by clips recorded in the past. At least that is how I see it.

In Lin Ling’s image breaking we see him returning to his original image but not entirely. The white strand that is still left on his hair signifies a very profound change Lin Ling underwent during which Nice—one way or another—became at some point a part of himself. What part of Nice exactly became his truth? Here I want to note that this is not due to the fans’ belief since he has already rejected Nice. This is because Lin Ling at some point truly believed, accepted and embodied parts of Nice as his own. How do I say this... their existences overlapped and superimposed each-other and eventually started to meld into one.

That said, during his fight with God Eye and while regaining peoples’ trust, besides the power increase he displayed he was also able to fly (one of Nice’s original abilities).

As it is revealed by this, what has truly a grip on the Heroes is their own belief and conviction.

One important note to make before the end of the episode, us how Lin Ling by being himself, manages to use Moon’s wormhole abilities to reach her. Something he couldn’t do as Nice.

As the scene of Moon’s death plays out, we see E-Soul being framed as the culprit. It has been mentioned, however that the angle of the hit and E-Soul’s position do not align and there is a possibility another hero is also present out of Lin Ling’s field of view and I support that interpretation, unless… what if this really is E-Soul’s doing and it’s just due to his rapid movements? In the first place, how did he get there??? He can’t transport himself there, can he? He can be lightning fast but can’t really… teleport. Right? Especially to a place he doesn’t know.

Don’t forget that nobody knows where Moon went. The only way to locate her is through the desire to reconnect with her. The one that has this desire more than anyone is Lin Ling, hence why he can use her wormhole devise. E-Soul must have used that very same wormhole to get there—or at least the reality distortion it created. It is very possible that while he followed Lin Ling, he killed Moon as he sped past them and ended up behind her. Hmmm.. 🤔

Lin Ling seems to have the ability to craft or shape reality. Btw.

Love Lin Ling. But at the same time I am obsessed with Nice! Dude was there for what? 30”? 40”? It doesn’t help that someone uploaded on deadbird their identities either! Nice was a Cancer boy!!! Why are these scriptwriters killing them Cancer boys, maaan? Gege killed Nanamin, too? And if I bother to look into birthdays of other supporting characters in other series I’ll probably find a load more but I’m sparing everyone the longer rant!

Anyway, I keep holding the 2D scenes in reference because I think there is an importance on the moments of the transition… Hmmm… 🧐

Spotlight on No. 9 Episode 5: The 3some Build Up

Year 20 After Commission. E-Soul saves Yang Cheng but is not on time to save either of his parents. He is already missing his right arm.

16 years later, 36 Years After Commission. E-Soul celebrates his 34th anniversary. So he became a Hero only two years after the Hero institution started. (Translations of E-Soul’s Anniversary stunt requirements state that he became the first hero to receive the title of [X] when he defeated Zero, 30 years ago. So Year 6 After Commission. He first appeared in Year 2 After Commission, so he was known for 4 years until that incident. In his Concept Video, he is shown to have his right arm during this battle, too.)

Yang Cheng is born November 11 14 ACY. So he became an orphan when he was 6 years old. He is a Scorpio.

Shang Chao is born March 29 14 ACY. He is an Aries.

The date they turn their Graduation Papers in is March 15 (or so I believe what is for the date at the bottom of Shang Chao’s Application). Damn… Did he even had his birthday?

In episode 4 the young Hero Agent that said they wanted to contact Lin Ling personally because someone could “steal” him, when that was said we see a long haired person in an office with bookcases from top to bottom. That same person is the one dismissing Yang Cheng from the competition because he has 0 Trust Value. 🤨

Also, the 3rd Agent/CEO(?) we see is voiced by Toriumi Kousuke. 😮😩 (Ep. 4 as well. just forgot to add it. Oops. Sumimasen.)

Yang Cheng’s memories are shown in 2D while E-Soul speaks in the event about the reasons he has not taken off his mask for 34 years. The scene changes back to 3D when we have the parallelism of the night Yang Cheng lost his parents to Pomelo (Yuzu) being dependent on him to save him.

Pomelo’s single point of Trust in Yang Cheng is a burst of electricity that literally energises Yang Cheng’s body. He gains much more than just a Trust point. He literally gains the very first person to truly believe in him—the real him. It seems like not just the number of believers but also the nature of the trust they hold is of great importance.

The reason Yang Cheng looked up to E-Soul besides him saving him, seems to also be the fact that before their death, Yang Cheng’s mother had gifted him E-Soul’s figure which we see him sleep with in the orphanage and we have already seen it on his desk in his house and telling him that he can be strong like him. Ughhh… people, when will you learn to teach your kids to be authentic? 😮‍💨

Yang Cheng being almost ready to reveal himself to Xia Qing and getting cockblocked a 3rd time in one episode by Shang Chao. LMAO His little laugh as he decides that fate probably just does not want him to come clean to her and moving to go, is also super cute. And absolutely hilarious since Shang Chao is the one pulling the curtains on him. In all honesty… I don’t know what I expected, but Yang Cheng’s flabbergasted face was priceless. Also, why is Shang Chao so smug about revealing him? Help! 😆

Episode 6: Be U (not the cologne)

E-Soul replying to his manager, “Who is the real E-Soul—I shall teach them.” Wooh, scary~

Shang Chao telling Yang Cheng that being E-Soul is not identity theft, but that this is the peoples’ belief and trust in his potential.

Also that even though he can take off the mask he is still E-Soul for those supporting him. This is a direct contrast to the Original E-Soul who’s never once shown his face to anyone.

Xia Qing telling Yang Cheng that Shang Chao confessed to her and then going “aren’t you being too surprised?” Giiirl, you know he’s got a crush on you and you keep throwing him curved balls… Have mercy. 😂

Lucky Cyan’s concert is on April 24-26.

Original E-Soul being verbally attacked by reporter’s during his new toy announcement… Why did the host cut them off completely and didn’t let him address at least some of their questions? He does seem to be used as a puppet more and more. Or more like… a caged animal…? 🥺

Not Uncle Rock setting Yang Cheng up with Shang Chao and giving them free pass to the store's buffet after closing hours.

Once again 2D scenes are Yang Cheng’s memories up to his current life.

By the way, Yang Cheng is 1.75 cm tall. He was just barely fit to audition for E-Soul’s stand-in. 😭 (From what I saw on translations from other users, my man is an over 1.95cm monster! I freaken’ love him!!!)

Original E-Soul losing Trust Value which in turn is added to Yang Cheng… It does feel kind of a replacement tactic more than the will for renewal that Xia Qing spoke of.

Not Yang Cheng lighting up when Shang Chao enters the room… 👀 Boy, you weren’t this happy when you saw Xia Qing. What is going on in this head of yours???

Enlighter finding out that the phone call was encrypted and only someone with a) money or b) IT knowledge (or even both) could pull it off.

This is where it feels a bit.. off, as Yang Cheng seems troubled by this. Could it be that this was an opportunity to come clean with Original E-Soul and he regrets about how things turned out? Being cleared from the accusations should make him happy, but instead he looks pensive. 🧐

The way I keep replaying that part where Xia Qing tells Yang Cheng that she will root for him if he can be honest and true to himself, but even if he can’t… she will wait for him for ever (?), did I hear that right??! Eh???

Yang Cheng not being on time to save Shang Chao… Yeah. What was that heart-wrenching scream at the end, kid?

At this point I want to highlight something: It is E-Soul’s 34th Anniversary, even if he started his hero career at 18 years old straight out of highschool, he is 52 years old now—at the very, very least. Which, he probably isn’t. He must be around 56, actually. But let’s keep the minimum just for kicks…

⚡️💜Look at this shredded, towering God!🗿⚡️Bites a chunk out of him. MINE~ 💜🔥

Episode 7: When Legends Die, The Heartbreaker (yes this is a song reference, deal with it)

So we start off with Shang senior practically declaring war on fate, God and the world. Okieee… He is cruelly cold towards Yang Cheng and flat out tells him that he should be seeking revenge on Shang Chao’s behalf. Understandable.

Also, what was that scene with Shang Chao in Yang Cheng’s arms in the rain… WHAT?

Right in this same scene, we see Yang Cheng saying that has positively identified the shooter. It’s one of the guys that abducted Pomelo (Yuzu). Yang Cheng had left a burn-mark on his neck when he saved Pomelo, so he wants Shang senior’s help…

On this note, Enlighter has researched the whereabouts of the two criminals and the circumstances under which they ended up out of jail. As Enlighter informs Yang Cheng, the paperwork indicated that they were still in prison while they actually were out and the agent that had helped with the fake paperwork was most probably already killed, so that whoever was the mastermind could tie any loose ends. As Enlighter pointed out, even if Yang Cheng was to find the criminals now, after all this publicity, there wouldn’t be any real difference since they now did have a good reason to go after Yang Cheng and nobody would bother searching further into finding the mastermind, who could still target Yang Cheng and move freely in the background.

So, what Yang Cheng must have thought is that whoever aims to ruin him, is someone well connected, well off and with a “grudge” against him. Does that sound like someone we know? Who could possibly want Yang Cheng, a poor orphan that hasn’t harmed anyone, out of the picture? Oh! Maybe the guy that he stole his Trust Value??? Oooh!

So how does he settle this without risking anyone else’s safety? But by bringing the issue to publicity and challenging the culprit to an open battle so they can settle the score once and for all. By making E-Soul fight him. Winner takes it all, love.

The backstory (2D) scenes of Yang Cheng tearing down his entire house and breaking his E-Soul figure—destroying his idol—are heart breaking. He is a different person. He does not believe in anything good anymore. I mean, look at his eyes when he peers through that broken mirror. He is broken himself after this ordeal!

E-Soul on the other hand.. couldn’t be caring to give a flying banana peel from what we see. This dude gives no fucks about anything and anyone. He doesn’t even care about his ranking or Trust Value dropping! It is clear he only does the PR shit just to get his manager off of his ass and the only things he really cares about are helping people and bodybuilding. LMAO He’s KING, ok? I don’t care what anyone thinks of him, he is the real shit. He hears Yang Cheng’s challenge with his own fucking ears from the tv—and lowkey accusations about Shang Chao’s death—and he straight up says he has “no interest” in this, right after! Absolute fucking King behaviour! 😎

Though, to be fair, when he finally decides to listen to his manager is probably because he has never seen him so stressed as fuck before. What seems to do the trick and convince him to take on the challenge is when his manager shows him videos of people actually supporting the theories of him being behind the murder and that if his Trust Value drops any further he will just be an old guy… Baby, my dude, hey—King, let it! Get them to give you pension and leave this bull crap for the fame-hungry idiots! Listen to me, bro. You did enough.

While Yang Cheng practices, Xia Qing says that maybe he shouldn't do it, maybe it’s a trap and she doesn’t want to lose anybody.

Uncle Rock, though has a way to force an opening to E-Soul’s impenetrable defences; to make him use an extremely powerful move but that will render all his defending systems useless. Hmm… suspicious stuff.

Yang Cheng and Xia Qing arguing about the battle at the beach. She asks him, once more (3rd time actually), to uphold their promise and be honest with himself and be true to his wants. To which Yang Cheng replies that he is but he cannot honour a promise he made just between them when there are people out there trusting him not to run away from the battle and betray them. Kid… you’re betraying yourself, though???

The arena for their battle, is the memorial ground where E-Soul defeated Zero.

E-Soul is determined to stay on the defence while Yang Cheng... well, kid breaks the walls for no apparent reason the second he steps foot there. This doesn’t show determination or an intimidating aura, in my book. It’s just lashing out in disguise. … And malice. Of course. Again this is all in 2D mode—is X watching the fight or what the f— 😗

Xia Qing has gone to the concert alone. She sits in the middle of the seats Shang Chao had reserved for them. Well, that’s a 3some that went nowhere~

The battle is ragging and despite Yang Cheng’s relentless attacks, E-Soul has already caused quite some damage by just using his lightning whip. I knew you were a Do-S deep down, King. Love ya! 🥰

Some moments after during their chase, the armour on E-Soul’s mechanical arm is broken. This means that Yang Cheng has managed a few good blows.

Also, around here we hear E-Soul’s manager asking him to use his risky attack. E-Soul’s immediate response is “who’s instigating this?” and like, he is not wrong. But the damage has been done.

Back to Uncle Rock showing Yang Cheng of how his plan can succeed. He has been spreading rumours and advertising that E-Soul will use his powerful attack during the fight. Yang Cheng comments how this must have cost a lot—like, a lot lot. [Also, a note here: if someone can please look at the comments from the people calling E-Soul a fraud and explain to me why is a note of 37 years in there??? What does that refer to? E-Soul appeared 34 years ago? Or was it that he got commissioned 34 years ago but was actually around since 37 years prior? Wasn’t Commission Year 36 we were watching??? WTF—]

We see Uncle Rock unloading his entire shop. What an incredible man, huh? He believes so much in Yang Cheng he sold everything he owned to pay for this ad! Right?! 🥹 Yang Cheng owes him big time!!!

For some time now, E-Soul is stalling and tries to—I assume—tire Yang Cheng out. If he gets tired enough and is unable to move anymore, the battle will be over. But Yang Cheng is determined to not back down and pushes harder with every blow. He even breaks E-Soul’s shield. E-Soul lunches small-scale attacks, too. But on one occasion right after he’s informed about the public’s expectations, he stands completely still and seemingly takes the attack. Is he measuring Yang Cheng? Is he contemplating his next move? Or is he providing an opening just to be fair? Could it be he is overestimating himself?

A couple mutual attacks later, Yang Cheng manages to break his Chest shield. This one was so Togainu-coded, I am eating steel! Grrr 😤

It is here that E-Soul finally realises that he is going to lose if he doesn’t make a decision. You know how I know it? Just how he knows it—parts of his floating shield stopped working. His electric currents aren’t strong enough to uphold the electromagnetic field around him! I. AM. CHEWING. HIS. SHIELD. FRAGMENTS!!! I’m going insane, I’m sorry I’m not sorry. Sue me.

He decides to finally bring out… the big gun.

Xia Qing is crying watching the live. Is she… sensing something?

The final attack has begun. E-Soul is bringing his Lightning Slash down while Yang Cheng is stubbornly charging forward.

Xia Qing has left the concert. Now all 3 seats are empty. 👀👀👀

Uncle Rock is a fucking BITCH™︎. Scheming bastard, I want to see if you’re still going to have a mug after Shang finds out it was you behind his son’s murder! I hope there will be no mask to hide the way he disfigures you! (He is still in the game, btw. We see him eyeing Lin Ling, which means he is not fucking exposed, yet!)

I replayed the scene… a gazillion times and every time I catch E-Soul having his Lighting Beam already lowered and only Yang Cheng’s fist is visible. A different angle, and still the same—E-Soul is intact behind his Lightning Slash while Yang Cheng is lost in the light and then KABOOM! The place is blown up to smithereens.

Uncle Rock watches the news from the battle without a hint of emotion. And why would he?

The kids commenting on Uncle Rock’s shop getting closed and while one says that it had closed a long time ago another one of them says that had just recently been reopened and was doing really good. Ugh.

From the rubbles we can only see 3 trashed drones and a single figure standing. The figure emits a pale violet electric current—right arm missing. I wish, this was Old E-Soul since his electric current was vibrant purple in contrast to Yang Cheng’s light blue one but alas, as I said, this is pale violet bordering white and the figure had still attached a shoulder shield and Old E-Soul’s was broken before the final clash so… yeah. I have hope. But at the same time, I don’t*.

At the very end of the episode, we see E-Soul (whoever he may be…?) moving into the 9th floor of the Hero Tower. Don’t forget he was chewed out by his manager for falling out of the Top 10!

E-Soul is standing in front of the window. He has the equipment of his shoulder shields floating instead of being attached on him. As said, he is fitted with a new mechanical arm, which is in full display unlike the Old E-Soul’s.

Uncle Rock is paying a visit. He is trusted, either as Uncle Rock to whom Yang Cheng owes his new life as a Hero or as the Mighty Glory manager that came to congratulate their veteran for persevering. I am fucking going insane. I mean it. I’m going to bite Li Haolin!!! >:E Which one is it???

But… Uncle Rock stands taller than this E-Soul as he comes over and stops next to him, so unless some real fucked up shit happened with the suit at the fighting ground and some even more fucked up, unhinged twist of reality that reverted Old E-Soul to his first Hero days or even merged the two, then this dude here… is indeed Yang Cheng. The shorty that stands at 1.75 cm. 😔

Soo, correction! The shorty stands at 1.85cm!!! His ID as E-Soul states as much. Shorty got a sprout boost from his Trust Value absorbing that of my titan man. >:E I don’t want to be mean, but daaamn~ I’m not a Yang Cheng supporter no matter how I flip it. Yours truly is pining over the middle aged, UNAMED, DEHUMANISED, FACELESS, singleminded DUDE of the series!!! They better release a birthday for my man at the very least!!! I WILL BITE EVERYONE IF I DON’T FIND OUT ABOUT IT!!! >:EEE I DEMAND BLOOD ON HIS BEHALF!!! 🔪👿🔪 On that note: if anyone reading this finds out they have released info on him, please, please, I BEG, tell me about it!!! Askbox is open for anons, too. I will not bite, I promise. I will love anyone that gives me any info on my old man. Please~ 🥺🥺🥺

Bring me back my battle-worn, Greek God of war, E-Soul!!! 😭😭😭

As a side note on this, I think he gives off strong Aries vibes but an Aries would most definitely be unapologetically up front and show his face. Another possibility, especially considering the hard work and legacy he has managed to build is Capricorn, but like… Capricorns also wouldn’t want any risk on going unnoticed or their hard work being usurped. They would fight back! So that leaves me thinking Pisces; they work hard, don’t really like being perceived and are calm af in times of unrest. Not to mention, the horrors—they withstand being the martyr if they believe it’s worth the effort. 🫠

Btw, yeah. I mixed up Uncle Rock’s scenes up there somewhere because I wrote this after watching the episode and then I couldn’t copy-paste it in the right order since my phone is a piece of junk, so… summan~ But like, take it or leave it, I ain’t going to rewrite the entire paragraph. 🤷‍♀️

At this point I want to say that, yes. I have started to believe that the 2D transitions are a reference to a manipulated or more correctly put, “biased” perspective. This stinks of unreliable narrator to boot. The first 2D scenes we get is the Nice advertisement Lin Ling is working on (manipulation). Memories shown in 2D could be due to the shift in reality, too: the past vs present. Or due to the narrator’s views/knowledge of the time, aka not knowing the full story or not having a full perspective of the present reality (biased). Does this make any sense to anybody else? Is it just me??? 😶‍🌫️🫠

The real-time 3D to 2D transitions though seem to be more in line with X interfering with those moments. 🤨😗 As it is portrayed in X’s concept video, he is shown to be the ‘infinite’. By his powers, infinity is shown to be altering universes/planes of existence. He can turn 3D reality into 2D. Remember how almost to their entirety, all fighting scenes are flipped into 2D? At least so far? Who’s to say that X isn’t the one interfering with the universe his fellow heroes are fighting in order to help them achieve as little casualties as possible? But hey, is X a good character after all? What did he became a hero for? He has no affiliations, so he is untethered by external influences. He is doing this out of his own volition and for his own personal reasons.

Also, in the greater scheme of To Be Hero X, the [X] can refer to a) the unknown, since any hero can acquire this position. b) to the top 10, since X = 10 in latin. c) to a variable that can affect the outcome of an equation (is it coincidence that the Opening Theme closes with X while we hear “I still ain’t done enough, not even close”? I think not).

By current knowledge, X is occupying the top for 4 years now as well. I mean… it should be 4 years? They say he is in the top for two years and none has beaten him so far, so since the competition is every two years, wouldn’t be normal that he could have a one-off and win the position at least once? Why all the hype over him not having being defeated ever since his appearance and Title occupation? That sure means he’s won the Hero Competition twice, imo. Right? Or… idk. Whatever.

Btw. Can anyone tell me what does the article say? Is it about the upcoming Nice/Moon live or something? I don’t understand Chinese. TvT

#to be hero x #tbhx #episode rant #nice #lin ling #e-soul #e soul #yang cheng #this is long af so… buckle up!#if you see any mistakes… no you didn’t.

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clandestineivory · 1 month ago

Note

hey fleurrrrrr

it's me, the demon (you know who)

can I request smth about Shadow Milk's canonical fragile body? Like- what do you think he'd do and stuff idk

(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ anon btw and you know who I am

okay (my fingers hurt but what the hell it's smc and I'm ready to work)

Shadow Milk Cookie Headcanons: "Fragile."

Summary: I think the crisis of arthritis is affecting me now because oh my lord my hands hurt like hell (it's been happening to my family for so long and I'm next nawww) I had to go do some digging about this and yknow what "(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ anon"? This is gonna be some extra headcanons because I need a redo and I think he's so wet cat coded with that fuck-ass haircut

Warning: Swearing (i fear it was obvious), bad grammar, possible ooc, lazy. So very lazy. a/n: I'm tired after finishing a sewing project and having to deal with 3 google slide presentations (chat I'm COOKED) I don't wanna talk abt 9/11 and then about Frida Kahlo and THEN about Kaumuali'i like how does this even happen to me

He should've been voiced by a vocaloid but nobody's ready to hear my weird opinion (no hate to the va though i love his talent)

I think he'd put on a front about how he's so strong and mighty and smart (and I can admit that he's smart), but c'mon. Look at him. He uses magic more than he uses his legs to walk.

Do you think he wonders why the Witch baked him like that though- just a fleeting thought that comes up from time to time when he's actually siting on a solid surface. His power lies in intellect, illusion, and psychological manipulation, not brawn. Not like Burning Spice Cookie (who definitely has some smarts of his own, I promise you. ruthless and calculating muscular men my beloved)

He might even tell himself it doesn’t matter, really! That he redefined his own purpose, made him a better version of what he used to be! (But the slight doubt lingers. Of course the Master of Deceit can act and pretend so much so that he forgot what was real behind the glamour and theatricals)

I think he'd use magic to cheat his way out of doing most physical stuff. It's as easy as breathing, so why would he want to take the harder, more taxing way? Sounds boring, doesn't it?

Anyways I think he's allergic to bleach

And honestly, look at him. Does he really look like the typa cookie to be strong (physically)?

He'd probably be wobbly on his legs when he actually has to stand and walk around yknow.

Leans against the wall and pretends to act all mysterious but he's probably SLUMPED against that thing oml get this guy some crutches or make him use his staff RIGHT (or steal GingerBrave's cane idk)

He smells atrocious when left in humid weather for a long time (he becomes like spoiled milk and rotten blueberries. He can't visit Burning Spice for long because of that lmao. keep him away from the deserts PLEASE or else he'll turn into YOGURT)

The type to tolerate 4 bottles of berry juice (or 6 1/2 if he's in a pissy mood) and then go on and on about what it was like being the Fount of Knowledge while trying to crawl into a portal and sleep (or die inside, either one)

Probably the Cookie version of anemic and that's why he hates physical work (literally me)

Music tastes range from a whole orchestra or piano (but I feel as though he'd enjoy opera singing quite a bit. He's over a thousand years old stuck in that body. let the old grandpa in him have some joy that isn't immediately about psychological tormenting others lmao /j I know he has other hobbies I swear)

Calls most of the Ancients 'youngsters' jokingly or 'old' depending on the time of day (peepaw shadow milk go back to bed please and stop calling these guys old)

This headcanon is probably ooc and y'all can beat my ass:

I think he judges whoever he meets and categorizes them as specific chess pieces.

For example -> Black Sapphire and Candy Apple? Rooks. Helpful, ready to serve. Maybe Bishops, but they're being quite genuine when it comes to helping the Master of Deceit. Queens? -> Shadow Milk Cookie himself! (moves in all directions, can easily change the tide of the game when released, quite popular), Burning Spice (same thing but way more destructive...goes off-script sometimes, and the improv is not that good!)...honestly? All of the Beast Cookies. Maybe Mystic Flour is an exception, maybe not.

Pawns? -> Everyone who doesn't seem like a real threat. NPC's, regular Cookies, ect... but they can certainly become something else with enough patience and perseverance. That's the fun part.

and I lowk gave up on this headcanon rn because i typed a whole thing out but my computer got sassy with me and deleted it all (fuck you, man. I ordered you in rose-gold because I thought it would be pretty, not a bitch)

Can I go on to say that milk, ice cream, orange juice, and blue raspberry soda tastes so fucking good like oh my heavens it's like a fizzy ice cream

or milk with frozen blueberries

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depression-pie · 10 months ago

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Okay these ideas have NOT left my head so here’s two new Gravity Falls AUs inspired by @acerobot’s fanart of a Wandavision-esque Billford AU

The FIRST idea goes as follows:

Ford doesn’t stop working on the portal after Fidds leaves. He and Bill work together to take down the barrier around Gravity Falls, Bill putting together some half-assed excuse to justify why they would need to do it.

They get the portal started up and Bill starts the apocalypse, BUT he puts a new barrier around the town essentially shielding it from Weirdmageddon instead of containing it. He removes Ford’s memories of the betrayal, and since the town is safe from the chaos, Ford doesn’t realize anything is wrong.

So he and Bill have this little domestic life in their cabin in the woods, and he’s completely oblivious to the fact that outside the town is the end of the world.

But now Gravity Falls is considered somewhat of a safe haven for survivors, so people start moving there to get away from all the chaos, and Ford is reunited with his family, who immediately realize something’s wrong.

Will he realize what his husband’s been up to this whole time? Who knows

The SECOND idea is EVEN ANGSTIER

Because what if Bill trapped Ford in a fantasy bubble during Weirdmageddon. A fantasy version of Gravity Falls where everything is perfect, he’s not fighting with his brother, he’s still friends with Fiddleford, he has a perfect little family and a perfect husband and a perfect life.

And he doesn’t even question it, because the fantasy starts replacing his memories with new fabricated ones, fake memories of his perfect life with his perfect family.

Until Stan and the twins show up, and they’re terrified because they just witnessed Bill start a literal apocalypse and yet there he is, smooching it up with Ford of all people. And he acts like it’s all normal and fine, because to him it IS normal, but they all know it’s not.

Ford is confused why his family is acting weird, not realizing that they’re not the fake family he’s gotten used to, the fake Stan he talks to all the time, the fake Dipper and Mabel who are best friends with his fake kids.

And they almost want to stay too, because they want to live this perfect life, but they know it’s not real, so they do what they can to escape and rescue Ford.

And when they finally do burst the bubble, Ford is absolutely RUINED because he realizes it was all a lie, his perfect family, his perfect husband, his perfect kids weren’t real and he doesn’t know what to do with himself because he misses them.

Even though they’re not real he still has some of the fake memories, going on fake monster hunts with them, teaching them how to play the fake piano, watching them play with their fake friends and the fake Dipper and fake Mabel.

And even though it was all a lie he misses it and he’s heartbroken over the fact that, even though they were never real, he’ll never get to see that perfect family ever again.

And I’m sure when they face off against Bill, Bill tries to rope him back into it, promising to bring back their perfect family and their perfect life, promising that it could last forever if he gave up the equation.

And even after they defeat Bill he’s still plagued by dreams about that life, and he’s fucking ruined over it, and this ends one of two ways.

Ending 1: He finds out the kids from the bubble were actually child versions of the real kids that he and Bill had that he didn’t know about, and so he tries to create the relationship he should’ve had with them if Bill hadn’t kept them apart.

OR Ending 2: Like Mabel’s dream boys, the fake kids somehow survive the popping of the bubble (and even the closing of the rift), though they’re very confused about what happened, and Ford winds up finding them and taking them back home (though I don’t think he’d tell them what happened to Bill just yet).

Holy shit that was a lot of words. Can you tell which plot I’ve spent more time thinking about

Thanks @acerobot for inspiring this. This was all your fault

Also here’s what I think Cassie and Aaron (the kids) would look like if they were Dipper and Mabel’s age

#Long Post #Royal Rambles #Vinny’s Art #Traditional Art #Digital Art #Gravity Falls #Alternate Universe #Billford #Original Characters #Fankids #Stanford Pines #Bill Cipher #Cassandra Cipher #Aaron Cipher

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nicodrawings · 2 years ago

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Dump time featuring Billie Morales aka Silly Billie

Update 2: oh! Also the first two illustrations are based on Yotsuba art!

Update: ok HC time, if you wanna know more keep reading as usual.

BILLIE SECTION

-I made Billie 5 years old.

-I’ve mentioned this before but Billie has Asperger’s.

-She didn’t talk until she was like 3 going on 4.

-Her nickname is "silly billy"

-Miles always says "how's my favorite girl in the whole wide world?" when he comes home from school on the weekends.

-Miles is a doting big brother and helps take care of her as well as connecting with her interests.

-As much as she loves her parents, she thinks the world of Miles. She's up under him the most, especially when she's over stimulated, stressed or sleepy. His heartbeat calms her.

-She has a limit to physical contact and taps when she’s ready to let go. She usually only hugs her family. Her and Ganke do hand touches instead of hugs.

-The family helps her navigate her environment and her emotions as well as socializing but never push anything that makes her uncomfortable. They always ask questions and have special routines to help her.

-A part of her routine is on Saturdays they go to the park so she can see the pigeons.

-Miles does not like pigeons, but tolerates them for Billies sake.

-They also have special songs for her like "🎶when you walk across the street take ur eyes off your feet🎶" to remind her to look both ways and pay attention when walking across the street since she can get distracted easily.

-The songs they use also attach her to music. So whenever they go to ganke he plays the piano for her and they make songs up and when she hears a song she likes she starts stimming and wiggling.

-She also takes interest in drawing because she sees Miles drawing and they draw animals and watch Steve Irwin on Saturdays too.

-She doesn't understand figure of speeches so if you say "don't sweat it" she would be like "...sweat what?"

-she doesn’t show a lot of emotions unless she’s feeling something intense.

-She rarely sees Miles in superhero mode in public but when she does she just goes “SPIDER!” and smiles and he waves at her.

-Moral of this story, she is loved.

HOBIE

-He lives with his grandparents in the Bronx area (I’m not sure which side yet tho).

-He loves his grandparents very much.

-One time at a punk rock concert a wise man told him “the most punk thing to do is to take care of yourself, don’t be reliant on the system to do so, cuz they ain’t”

-He told his grandpa the following day and they had a heart to heart about it considering that Hobie was very depressed at the time.

-So with that being said, health is incredibly important to him.

-Some ppl tease him and call him “straight-edge” but it don’t bother him much.

-Hobie officially meets the other spiders when he’s 16.

-Clicks with Gwen and Miles almost immediately.

-Especially Miles, Peter always jokes and says that they were definitely brothers in their past lives.

-Gwen and Hobie bond over music.

-Gwen gets the crush first.

-But unlike Miles she’s more forward and doesn’t wait a billion years so she’s asks him out.

-Hobie says yes.

-Only one that knows how to drive by the time he’s 18.

OTHER STUFF

-Gwen’s relationship with her father just…never gets better in my AU. He’s just an ass and as far as Gwen is concerned they’re not family, they’re just related. With that being said, although it’s never acknowledged, Gwen definitely sees Peter as a father figure in her life. She even has him as her top emergency contact. Peter started to understand this when she was 16, he never questioned it and sees her as his oldest daughter. When she’s had really bad arguments with her father she goes to Peters and spends the night.

-Peter and MJ’s home is open to all the spiderkids. No questions asked.

-Peter and MJ always say “On our taxes we have one kid” when people ask them how many kids they have.

-When Peter gets home he sees how many pairs of shoes are at the door then yells “how many kids are in the house?" They usually yell in response which gives him an idea as to how many kids are there.

-On average there’s no less than 2.

-One time he asked and a really deep voice responded along with the kids.

-It was Venom.

-All the spiders have their own therapist’s but every other weekend there’s a group therapy session for kids with powers funded by S.H.E.I.L.D. It’s not required that they go but it’s open for them regardless, just sign up and come in.

-Ganke donates some of his legos to the program and helps assist sometimes with running it since it’s not ran in the best shape.

-This connects to a bigger problem of helping hero’s with their mental health and stability, especially when they decide to retire.

-If you read the other AU list I had, this is the reason why Ganke switches his major to Social Work when he goes to college.

NICKNAMES

Peter’s nicknames for the kids:

Miles-“Junior/Little Man”

May-“Mayday”

Gwen-"Gwennie Pie”

Ganke-“Goober”

Hobie-“Hobie” (obviously)

Anya-“Ani”

Ganke’s nicknames:

Friends-“Gee” judge calls him “G-money”

Miles’s mom-“Honey”

Ganke’s mom-“Gee-Chan”

The boy that bullies him AKA Sean “Gay-ke”

Peter-“Goober” (as I’ve said before)

Venom and Eddie-“Boy”

Miles’s for when he’s feeling affectionate-“Cariño”

Anyway that’s all I got for now! If you have any questions about my AU please feel free to ask away. I love talking about it as you can see.

#my drawings #artist on tumblr #art #digital art #illustration #ultimate spider man #spiderman #miles morales #peter parker #spider gwen #gwen stacy #spider punk #hobart brown #ganke lee #billie morales #au

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broareweabouttoviberightnow · 3 months ago

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ep four of the outsiders!!

uh. so. TW for groomin n assault. nothin like graphic. but this ep takes a fuckin HORRIBLE weird ass turn. so. do with that as you may.

again. I say it every time. but the intro FUCKS

STEVE EP?? OH?? IS IT?? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

OHHH STEVES FUCKIN SHREDIN!!

wait. oh no. ohhh no. I've been warned about this ep. oh no. I have a terrible feelin I'm gonna have to put some crazy warnings on this

ON THE ROAD JACK KEROAC MENTION!! I read that book once! God it was so so bad

awww soda havin darry n pony stand back to back to compare their heights aww

PUBERTY EP?? WHAT THE HELL!! oh no. oh wait. no. I have a bad feelin about this.

damn were back to blurry ass staticy ass episodes

AWW DARRY N PONY ARE GOIN FISHIN

aough. wait. are pony n cherry gonna go to the dance together??

MARCIA MENTION!!

STEVE N SODA N TWO IN A BAND??? MY SONS??? MY BABIES??? AOUGHHHH

BUCK IS GOIN FISHIN WITH PONY N DARRY??? I do not understand the nature of any of their relationships. also. hate this outfit for buck.

SCOUT N HER BIG LEATHER JACKET!!!!

scout mockin pony n cherry this is actually the funniest thing I've ever seen. I love those kids.

aoughhh darry n pony as BROTHERS!! THEY ARE SO IMPORTANT TO ME!!

I'm actually losin my mind at this Steve soda n two band plot line. this is the funniest thing I've ever seen

steve soda two trio actually somethin I didn't know I needed in my life I love them so so so much

pony KNOCKED out in the back of the truck aw my baby

apugh. ew. uh. not likin this. like. peep show goin on.

pony bein a giggly loser. aw. my baby.

oh. wait. uh. I do not like. the way this woman is talkin to Pony. she is grown. n he is. not. uh. well.

I love how the rest of the gang have just adopted scout. yeah. these are my buddies. n that's our kid. the fuck u gotta say about it.

steve bein SO adamant they know three songs. THREE. cool buddy! how long is the dance! 15 minutes!

BUCKS BEEN MARRIED 1 AND A 1/2 TIMES?? N HE RAN AWAY WITH A BLUES BAND??

buck sayin both him n Darry are waitin for the right woman. WRONG! darrys already found the right woman. n it is Timothy shepard.

hate hate hate the phrase break you're woman. please stop fuckin usin that. eough. guys. you're misogyny is showinnnn

RANDY MENTION!!!

aough. darry tellin pony to just lead with his heart. aough. my baby.

awww pony callin to talk to cherry. my baby. my son. I love that kid man.

dog. this woman's got to get AWAY from my fuckin son. I do NOT like her vibes.

DARRY READIN PONYS BOOK AOUGH. DARRY WHOS A READER IN MY HEARTTT

Dog. uh. how do I put this. um. darry sayin his first time was with. a 28 year old. woman. uh. he was assaulted man. uh. that's fuckin insane. they cannot play is off like that was ohh just a funny story.

steve soda n two comin out to cheer n clap for scout n her dancin awww

DOG. this WOMAN. needs to stay AWAY. from PONY. I fuckin HATE her energy.

DOG. DARRY N BUCK DITCHIN PONY? NOT my darry. he would NEVER leave pony with this LADY.

DOG. I do not like how they talk about. like. sex. this woman is literally preying on pony. this is like borderline assualt. actually no. not borderline. it IS.

Dog. someone please get pony away from this fuckin LADY. I do not fuckin LIKE her.

cherry looks BEAUTIFUL at this dance!! her DRESS! her HAIR! her NECKLACE! she GORGEOUS!

no. cherry is literally bein. manipulated. I hate this guy greg. n I hate this lady with Pony. dog. I do NOT. like where this is goin. for either of them.

'how old are you?' '15. how old are you?' 'how old do you want me to be?' oh. ok. so I'm watchin some kid gettin assaulted. that's cool. uh. ok. yeah. hate that shit. a lot.

ok. n now we're just back to Steve soda n two band again. Jesus christ. this episode is actually killin me.

Two bit can? canonically play the piano? why couldn't this whole ep have just been a band ep. without the groomin n shit.

two can fuckin SING man!! also aww scout n randy dancin. awww

oh fuck that. I ain't watchin that. Jesus christ. who the actual fuck cleared this shit. I hate that. I hate that alot.

TLDR: watch the first 10 minutes. then skip this ep. it actually made me so sick n uncomfortable.

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homunculus-argument · 2 years ago

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Been on somewhat of a spin about the subject recently but unapologetically continuing nonetheless. Anyway someone said that your love language is just what you lacked growing up. I was already grown when this happened, but back when I was working at the factory and still living at home, my sister (also an adult, also living at home, ~can't work~ because of the same mental illness that I had but hers was ~valid~ because her coping mechanisms were cuter than mine and I was obviously just being gross for no reason) wanted to play the piano and sing while I was sleeping.

My sister is semi-classically trained in singing. She could have gone pro or at least performed opera on stage had she pursued it. She's not bad with the piano, either, she's actually very pleasant to listen to, but I just want to stress that when she's singing in the living room, you can hear her from the street. Technical vocal skills required for being clearly audible over an entire opera house orchestra. That shit doesn't break glass but it sure can feel like it can shatter your ear drums. And she wasn't even singing opera, but blasting disney tunes, at the very reasonable time of 2 pm.

I was working night shift and had clocked out from work at 6 am, had almost fallen asleep at the wheel while driving home, and had still not managed to get to sleep before 9 or 10 am. And I was not entirely happy about having my sleep interrupted after 4-5 hours by Part Of Your World. My sister, insulted by this, argued that she lives here, too, and I can't demand that everyone should keep quiet during the day just because not fucking letting someone sleep is considered an act of torture and you are literally not allowed to treat prisoners of war that poorly.

Our mother, seeing that her grown-ass-adult-children are fighting again, opted to do as she always would, gently and calmly explaining to me that I can't just take the whole household hostage like that by demanding them to have any respect for me having actual physical needs that I will physically die if I'm not allowed to fulfill.

I woke up this morning at 5:47 am. My boyfriend was up. He hadn't drawn the curtains, he was quietly making himself breakfast, getting dressed and rustling about with only the dim bubble of light from his desk lamp. Because I was sleeping and he wanted to let me sleep.

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tookthe-405 · 1 year ago

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VBS

Chapter 2: Damage gets done ~ hozier (MY LOVE)

DAILY CLICK🍉 DONATE ON

LINKS🇵🇸 GOFUND.ME!!

a/n: again, sorry this took so long, life’s been stressful but I hope y’all like it <33 its long af tho

this is honestly just me messing around with happiness and then destroying it soon 😍

c/w: smut in future chaps!!, religious trauma, internalised homophobia, religious manipulation/abuse, implied abuse by parent

summary: you grew up religious without questions and in summer you would get send to vacation bible school. The camp always felt like prison to you, until a very interesting girl appeared.

7/22/2007 (sunday, week 1)

Readers pov:

10:02 a.m

The faces of the others were frozen as you trudged back to the hostel, which you couldn't blame them for. You don't see two girls with wet clothes here every morning, and the fact that you had to walk past the dining room to get to the stairs didn't exactly help you stay inconspicuous.

You and Ellie lost track of time a bit and were already too late when you noticed that breakfast had already started. The dining room doesn't really have a single door, the room was just completely open with no wall or door that could have protected you from being seen.

Giggles and agitated whispers immediately started as Ellie walked past the large room and down the corridor. Pastor Tobias' eyes pierced into back of your head as you walked past the hall.

Ellie found it all very entertaining and waved to a group of people who greeted her back with a laugh.

You, however, couldn't meet anyone's gaze, not your friends and certainly not Pastor Tobi's.

With your head bowed and your wet hair hitting your red cheek, you quickly fidget past all the spectators.

After 2 days, the events came dry from the lips of the people and you and Ellie could walk through the halls with a little less shame.

Or at least you did.

Ellie didn't think the whole thing was so bad. She said she didn't care and that it was worth it. That you hadn't done anything wrong, and she was right, you hadn't done anything bad.

But guilt was beggingly nibbling at your skin, hoping to be let into your brain where you would make up some fucked up mistake.

The singing of the choir and hazel next to you make it a little harder to think about all this, but not impossible. With your luck, you might dream about it. The whole scene in front of you, is so familiar that it feels like you are timely. The many children of different ages who sing their souls out to be enough.

Some of them are also really good, and some are good and love to sing. But they will probably not get any further than your little congregation, because it was explained to you from an early age that those talents you own are there to serve God and only him.

Acting out of free will would make you feel too guilty.

Your gaze rushes behind a shoulder to Ellie, and even she sings with it. Ellie seems to have made friends with a group of boys and girls a few days ago. She fits in pretty well, everyone looks like they don't feel like being here.

The short-haired girl catches your eyes and winks at you slightly, which makes you grin. She's so inserious, it's to laugh sometimes. With the same grin, she makes a small movement with her fingers and hands that looks as if she is composing something on an invisible piano. You understand that she just wants to tease you and show her a guitar-playing gesture.

"Don't do that!"

The hissing in your ear scares you, and you shake together briefly. After you have stretched your body forward again, and your shoulders feel like wooden boards, you give Hazel an apologetic look.

She unobtrusively holds a finger to her lips instead of telling you to shut up.

But her look is not as angry as she sounded, she admonishes you to stay out of trouble and you have to admit, that has often saved your ass.

When you were smaller, you wanted to try out almost everything, whether it was because of your quick trust in other people or because you just hated yourself too much to have any self respect left, no matter what it was, it almost messe up your life. Or rather your social life in church. And Hazel was like a warning hand that pulled you back again and again, saving yiuin the last moment.

When the piano music ends quietly and slowly, everyone sits down again, and a squeak sounds through the room. The piano that is played on every morning is old, but still sounds quite good. You could play all the hillsong songs and the old ones of your grandparents with your eyes closed if you had to, but Tanja does a good alternative job for you.

Your mother liked it so much, when the piano was played in the service that she thought it would be all the more beautiful if her daughter sat up there.

"Good morning everyone"

The older pastor leans against his narrow pedestal with the large cross on front and looks slowly through the rows.

"Personally, I find that 2 days are enough to get used to a life in nature and among themselves with God" he sighs tired for a short time as if he is already disappointed about something.

"Tomorrow you will go to the city with your assigned room partners and grou leaders and spread God's word”

Groaning resounds around in the room, most of pre teens who would rather do anything else than talk to strangers in the summer heat. Your group also has less desire, but this happens here every year like a kind of tradition, so you've been preparing for it.

"Not only that! The kitchen also prepares candied apples, which you can then all hand out nicely together!"

That was new. However, you understand the purpose behind it, you would also like it more to sit and listen here with a candied apple. In recent years, so many people have slammed the door in front of your nose that a few apples can't be bad.

"Hey girls" Louisa's voice makes you all look over your shoulder.

She kneels in front of you to be able to whisper better and more inconspicuously.

"You have kitchen duty this afternoon, please don't forget it and don't plan anything"

you all nod in Union.

"fuck"

"Kate!" Admonished hazel.

"What? It always takes like what? 2 hours?-"

"2 hours and 46 minutes" you improve her.

The four girls look at you confused.

"I stopped time last year out of boredom"

hazel grins at you, you twist your eyes but there is also a soft smile on your lips. You know exactly what's going through her head.

'That's so weird but just too sweet'

"I can't even remember the last time" murmurs naveah dreamy, her gaze rigidly on the ceiling.

"Probably because it was so traumatic that your brain simply deleted it for you" Kate dramatically her index finger against her head.

"It wasn't so bad, Kate exaggerates."

"I don't"

"my legs hurt all day"

Kate's and Mia's voices roll over and you smile. Hazel looks at you questioningly. You gambled with your shoulders.

"2 hours and 46 minutes Hazel..."

the girl shakes her head and her brown curls fall around her face a few times. "I thought it was okay"

Kate snorts. "Haze you would walk around in underwear in the snow if it happened in the name of the church."

"You wouldn’t?

11:38 a.m (sunday, week 1)

Three. You got 3 soccer balls shot in your face within 1 hour. You're not surprised that one of them was from Caleb, but the other two were shot by the same pretty black-haired girl, and it didn't look like she was sorry.

"What the…"

You stare at her and Caleb's backs during the water break and hope that it was just a coincidence, even if deep down you know that it wasn´t.

"Does he still not like you?" Naveah, sweating, picks up her water bottle while her eyes wander from time to time between you and Caleb.

You shrug, now more focused on Caleb fooling around with some guys.

The air in the gym was incredibly thick and almost unbearable, but the leaders still talked you into a soccer match. It was more or less Hazel's decision anyway and you guys do everything she does. The high windows let in the warm sun, whose heat wasn't particularly welcome right now.

The teams are mixed, meaning there are boys and girls on the same teams, aged 16 to 18. There weren't many, but enough to at least form 2 fair groups with even a few substitutions on the bench.

Ellie is nowhere to be seen , which doesn't surprise you, you regret ever saying yes to this, but you miss her in the disgusting, sweaty, narrow air. Her presence and her funny jokes would have been the only thing that could have made this a little less shitty.

"What's the deal with him anyway?" Naveah doesn't seem to let this go.

"We just don't like each other, that's just how it is sometimes."

She frowns.

"I don't think you can hate each other so much without a reason."

"I don't hate Caleb, I don't really care about him"

Naveah lets out a snort.

"Damn didn't know you could be a little bitchy too"

Caleb turns briefly in your direction and you take that as a sign to turn away and finally sit down for the next 8 minutes. Naveah does the same.

“I think everyone can be a little bitchy, you can’t like everyone and everything”

“Jesus could”

“Well im not Jesus”

she stretches her legs out next to you and sighs deeply.

"I know, even if this doesn't sound good, I sometimes find the principle of the church really fucked up. I try to love everyone, even people who do bad things to me, but it doesn't always work."

You're very surprised that she comes to you with this, but now that she did, you want to give her the best comfort you can.

"That's okay, naveah. We're neither God nor Jesus, we can do some things and we can't do some other. And we find a lot of things difficult. So Hate who you want"

naveah laughs and then becomes creepily serious again.

"Thanks, since you became friends with Ellie, you seem more relaxed to me."

Thinking, you try to remember your life before Ellie, but you can't. Before that everything was much more colorless, it didn't make as much sense as it does now.

"yes, I guess"

"no matter what Hazel says, you're right, Ellie isn't bad. How can a bad person make someone else this happy?"

12:24 p.m (sunday, week 1)

You haven't heard from Ellie all morning. It was almost as if she had completely disappeared, and if you're honest, you've had the feeling for a while that one day, she would just run away from here.

You wouldn´t hold it against her, but you would still feel dejected and left behind.

naveah and you talk a lot more after the game, she's more like you than you thought and you think she's good company. She understands your humor and you don't feel stupid or judged after every sentence you say.

It often happens to you that you wish for a world and reality in which it was always so easy to live. Where not every breath you take feels wasted.

You try very hard not to think about Caleb or your siblings back home. Homesickness seemed to catch up with you sooner or later anyway, but you didn't expect it to happen so quickly.

The summer heat was bearable, but it was still uncomfortable, so you spent most of your time indoors. Shortly after 12, Naveah suggested playing a few rounds of Uno with you, and since there was nothing better to do, you agreed.

"My father taught me uno, I can still remember that"

there is a very faint smile in her voice that touches your ears. She sounded a bit sad, as if she´s mourning that time of her life.

"I don't know your father at all"

you put a wish card on top of the pile of other cards. One round probably turned into a few.

"He's not really a christian, sometimes I think that's why he is the way he is"

"What do you mean?"

"He has a lot of emotions, he doesn't know what to do with them."

Christian parents are often very strict, as there are many rules in both parenting and the Bible that you have to follow. But since Naveah is talking about her atheist father, you don't really have a picture of what she really means, both your parents are religious.

"I don't understand exactly what you mean naveah…"

half of your brain is focused on the girl in front of you and the other half on the cards on the floor. Naveah moved around a little to sit down a little more comfortably, but this position didn´t seemed to free her from the emotional discomfort.

"Sometimes he doesn't know where to put all the anger. My mother doesn't help much with that either. Both of them know how to provoke each other, but only one of them knows how to deal with feelings."

"I still don't know what you mean? How does that affect you and your fathers relationship?"

It seems absurd to you how you talk about something like that while you're playing Uno, but if that's what she needs.

"Girls, lunch is ready and then you have to rinse off."

Louisa's voice flashes through the room and everyone moves quickly, but you make a mental note to talk to her about it later. You walk at a slow pace down the hallway and the other girls just rush past you. You remember how easy everything seemed to you at that age.

On the second floor you meet Jonathan.

“Hey you got wash up duity, don’t you?”

A dramatic groan leaves your mouth and you nod.

Joanthan is nice. You know his parents very well and you both grew up together as often as you saw each other at school and he was one of the only boys who wasn't interested in bullying girl for fun.

"Are you in the same room with Samuel?"

“Samuel and Austin, luckily”

You nod in understanding and see your group of girls whizzing past you out of the corner of your eye. Hazel turns to you briefly and gives you that grin and suddenly you know exactly what's going on here. An unpleasant feeling spreads through you and you try hard to ignore it.

"yeah… it's nice that you're still friends"

"I can't believe how long I've been able to put up with these two"

You giggle a little bit uncomfortable and think about the many pranks the three boys have pulled off. Both here in the camp and at school.

“Have you planned any new pranks?”

"hmm I don't know if I can tell you that" Jonathan grins at you.

"Well, if I hear something about a prank, I know who it was."

He shrugs and chuckles softly.

"Do you know what you're planning to do after the summer holidays? Now that we've finished school." you ask him.

He doesn't seem so sure about his answer.

"Not really, I don't know yet whether I want to stay here or go further away. Samuel wants to study in new york, I feel a bit left behind"

left behind. You know the fear of that as well.

"No matter what you decide, you have a future everywhere, time goes by either way"

he smiles at you and combs a few thick curls out of his face. You notice that he's looking at you longer than necessary.

"Hey would you like-" "Jesus where are they?"

You try strenuously to find Hazel's brown curls over the many people's heads, but they are nowhere to be seen.

"Sorry Jonathan, I have to find the others before they can no longer manage to save a seat for me."

you lie coldly to his face.

Without any further words, you quickly march through the many groups. You can feel his confused look burning at your spine, but whatever he wanted wasn't what you wanted.

You notice two things in the dining room.

Luckily Hazel secured a spot for you and Ellie is talking to the girl who shot a fucking ball at you. Twice.

Ellie's face seemed neutral, she was smiling slightly.

Jealousy overcomes you and you´re embarrassed at how quickly and unexpectedly it happens. Your cheeks redden and you feel very immature, like in middle school when you were mad that Hazel had other friends besides you.

You sit down in silence next to Hazel, who has already placed a plate at your place. Some pureed vegetable soup that you have to force down.

"What did Jonathan want?" Kate leans forward eagerly.

Unexpectedly, Jonathan is a good distraction for once.

"You're being so childish"

"Come on, we're just curious"

That's how it was always with the boys. No matter what people say, Christian girls are obsessed with boys, no matter how much the feeling of guilt trys to destroy that. For many, boys even come before God in terms of interest.

Not necessarily boys, but more the romance itself. The acceptance and recognition of being enough for a man.

Your eyes flick to Ellie, who is still talking to her about something seemingly funny. Of course you don't care.

“He didn’t want anything from me and even if he did it i would not care.”

1:14 p.m (sunday, week 1)

You are just waiting to be let into the kitchen. It's nothing unusual to take on kitchen duty in camp. It's a kind of thank you from the church to the kitchen for cooking warm food every day. Every girl's room gets a turn twice a year. After the girls' rooms have all been through to the second time, there are two more boys' rooms so that it doesn't get unfair. Ironic isn´ it?

Every year it's the same, every year you can hear the boys crying and complaining when they're the ones who have to do it this year. Now was your day where you have to wash 200 dishes. The staff and managers involved.

Ellie isn't here yet. She can't really have forgotten it, Louisa reminded her not to do anything between 1 and 3 p.m. this morning.

"Okay girls, then let's get to work."

Lousia opens the door to the kitchen a little too enthusiastically with her key and everyone follows her limply. It's the same place with the same number of dirty dishes.

Washing the dishes yourself isn't that bad for you, it's the fact that this kitchen is so damn dark.

For some reason there are only 3 windows in the white, old room. The tiles on the floor are already old and a few edges have broken off, the potholes were noticeable on the sole of your slippers. It still smells like soup and detergent and you wonder who would want to spend hours doing something like that.

“Here” Hazel hands you gloves and an apron.

"Sorry I'm late" Ellie stands in the doorway, panting, looking for Lousia's gaze, but it still stays on you.

"Hey" she smiles at you… shyly?

You smile back and pull the apron over your head.

"Ellie… please don't let this happen again."

“I promise it won´t”

Hazel also hands her the things and Ellie doesn’t hesitate for a second. You're a little surprised that she showed up at all, but she seems a bit inergic to you.

"Okay, we'll divide into 3 groups and one will rinse while the other dries and puts thw dishes away," you almost order the others.

You grew up with a very tidy mother and a big sister, you know a lot about tidying up and organization. That's why no one hesitates and does what you said.

"I wanted to talk to you all day"

Ellie's rough voice loops into your right ear and you quickly grab the dishes and a sponge as a distraction and start to rinse.

"I'll rinse you dry"

Ellie seems surprised to have to pick up a plate but does as you say.

"Everything okay?"

What bothers you is how easy it is for her to read you.

“Yes, everything is perfect”

“It doesn’t seem like it?”

"That's your self Ellie?"

"Did anything happen?"

"No"

"Did I do something?"

"Ellie!"

You say her name a little loudly and Mia, who is standing across from you, turns to you briefly and smiles encouragingly at you.

No, that is completely wrong. You shouldn't be mad at Ellie, you should stand by her, she could be in distress or something.

You direct your gaze again, an embarrassing blush on your face.

As strange as it sounds, Ellie really looks beautiful in an apron. Her soft curves, her forearms that show off her fair, freckled skin and the black ink of her tattoo. She always has to pull up her sleeves no matter what she does.

"I just had a bad day okay?"

You take the next plate.

"Her name is Ruth"

Ruth. you imagine how the name would feel on your tongue, how it would taste. How it would taste on Ellie's tongue. Shaking, you banish the thought because the thought of a sentence where both Ellie’s tongue and taste appear, seems too dangerous to you.

"I didn't ask that"

"You didn't have to"

Nobody speaks for 10 minutes, there is complete silence. Your thoughts rush from one corner of your brain to the other. You didn't want to argue with her, you didn't want to be anything other than hers.

soon you realize that you have no right to be angry with Ellie. She can talk to whoever she wants. Strangely enough, it also seemed to make a certain amount of sense for Ellie that you were angry.

You Wonder why.

"I'm sorry," she murmurs next to you, a wet glass in her hand.

"You don't have to be, you didn't do anything, Ellie."

Your anger subsided, and your longing for Ellie's soft, warm voice grew.

"I haven't paid any attention to you all day."

"You don't have to-"

"But I want to. As often as I can."

Sometimes you think that she doesn't even notice what she's actually saying to you. That she's in a trance and doesn't even notice what's falling over her lips. How vulgar her allusions are, and how good they feel.

You turn around briefly, but no one seems to have heard.

"It's okay, don't worry about it now."

"I really am sorry though." Her hand rests gently on your back, but doesn't quite touch you. it is the gesture itself that counts here, but you can't help but think of her soft skin, of her many freckles that are certainly not only on her face.

"I know. Me too, I shouldn't have acted around like that"

her face shows how happy she was with the situation and you smiled too.

"I like your hair. It's really pretty braided" she whispers

her hands sadly turn back to the dishes and your gaze remains stuck to her for a while. But how could you not? who would ever want to look away from her?

"what did you want to tell me?" you ask her.

"how do you know that I want to tell you something?"

"you get really fidgety when you want to talk about something"

you notice so many things about her. how her leg fidgets slightly, how she keeps having to change her position and shifts her hips from left to right, how she bites her cheek, sometimes too hard.

"um... I had an idea"

"Ellie, no-"

"I haven't said anything yet"

the running water covers your voices, luckily, and no one notices.

"We're handing out these apples tomorrow and I thought to myself-"

you give her another glass and look into her soul.

"That's stupid and we're not 10 anymore, Ellie, what makes you think of something like that?"

Ellie takes the glass slowly and carefully, not breaking eye contact with you. Her eyes look hurt.

"Please explain it to me" you try to make your voice softer, more trustworthy.

"I don't want to be here. You don't understand, you're here every year and people love you. There's something wrong with me and I'm reminded of it every fucking day, I just want to show him what it's like to be treated like that"

you could hear the tears in her voice. You noticed early on with your brother that some people just don't cry, or at least don't like to. They express their tears differently, with Ellie it's her voice.

Her voice shows how she's feeling just as clearly as tears would have.

The kitchen is divided into two compartments. One is where they cook and the other is where they put the dirty dishes and clean them.

"How are we even supposed to get into the kitchen? And how do we know that they haven't already put the glaze on the apples? We don't know anything, Ellie-"

"Jesse's mother is volunteering to help in the kitchen. He said that he needs to help his mother to candy the apples this evening. But before that we can make a few changes."

Your mouth is slightly open. She has really thought this through. You hand Ellie another glass and stare at the door at the end of the room. No chance of her just getting in there. Louisa is a very nice manager but even that wouldn't gat an approve of her.

"How are we even supposed to get in there?"

CLINGGG

a high, loud noise bounces around in the air and you flinch so much that it hurts.

"fuck"

"oops" Ellie grins at you slightly after she has dropped the glass, you gave her to dry, on the floor.

"I'm so sorry, god I'm so clumsy"

Ellie gives you a whole scene, in which you don't have to do anything but hold back a laugh.

"Louisa, forgive me, it just fell out of my hand"

the other girls have to hold back a giggle too, even Hazel.

Ellie's high, dramatic voice sounded bad like a dying cat, but once again you were impressed by how daring she is.

"Yeah, yeah Ellie, clean that up. The broom is in the storage room"

Louisa presses the many keys into Ellie's hand and doesn't seem at all surprised.

"Thank you very much sister" for a moment you thought she was bowing.

„we’re not catholic Ellie-“

„But Mrs. I don't know where the storage rooms are"

„And I’m not married“ Louisa sighs

"Shit Ellie, I'm kinda enjoying this"

Kate grins at her and Ellie winks as Louisa gives Kate a warning look.

Ellie puts a strong, secure arm around you.

“Please accompany her”

Louisa waves her hands in the air between you two

“Sure” you reply like a robot

Ellie's arm pulls you towards the exit door and almost slams it behind you.

"first we ruin the glaze, then we can get the broom from wherever that was"

"in the storage room"

"whatever"

There are two doors to the kitchen. One that is in the washing up room and connects the two rooms and another that leads directly to the kitchen. The other entrance can be taken through the dining hall, and that's where you headed.

"if the pastor sees us, we're dead, Ellie"

you walk quickly but are still careful when you go around corners.

"I know, I think he wants to hang me on a scarecrow, I had a dream about that recently-"

you grab her arm and shove her back behind a safe corner.

"phillip"

"who the fuck is Phillip"

you press Ellie lightly against the wall because you are sure that sometimes she can't control her body properly. you peek around the corner slightly and see the orange hair.

"He's like the pastor's right-hand man, his best friend is also his roommate and his assistant."

"Pastors can have roommates?"

The orange spot at the end of the hallway slowly disappears like the light of a car on a dark night. This time you go first and Ellie follows you like a dog, she is also much quieter.

You feel 6 years younger and you like doing something you've never dared to do. Otherwise it was always the boys who played pranks and even though you never admitted it, you were always jealous.

Jealous of the freedom to behave like an asshole and not face any consequences. You wanted to have that laugh, that bond of having done something wrong together and to experience the big drama afterwards. To be praised for having done it.

"Shit, you like this, don't you?"

How can she read you so well?

"No!"

When you get to the door you stare at her knowingly.

"Yes you do, you're not as good as you always act doll. And I mean that in the best way possible"

"You're full of shit Ellie"

you let her pass you and the green eyed girl hastily tries to find the key.

"hey" you calmly touch her quick hands.

"calm down. don't stress Ellie"

her cheeks redden and her hands slow down.

"i really can't find it. fuck do you even have the key to the kitchen as a group leader?"

out of instinct you pull the door handle to use the key and the door opens.

"That was easier than i thought-"

Ellie puts the keys in her back pocket and carefully sticks her head into the kitchen. you keep watch so that no one walks by and tells on you. you quickly scurry after Ellie into the empty, warm room and smell the sweet air of the apples.

"the door has a fucking window" Ellie whispers in your ear and points at the door from where your friends are cleaning dirty dishes, the door that leads to Louisa who Is waiting for her keys.

goosebumps spread across your arms and legs and you are not sure if it is where Ellie is or the chance of being thrown out of the camp.

as you stand in front of the big pot you both breathe in out of reflex.

"It smells good, I even feel a little bad about ruining it"

Ellie watches the bubbling bubbles a little dreamily.

"Isn´t that actually vandalism?"

you ask thoughtfully.

Ellie almost laughs out loud and puts her hand over her mouth. You grab her arm and press even harder against her mouth so that she is really quiet.

"No, that isn't really vandalism oh my god you are innocent"

"Wow thanks Ellie, it was so enlightening"

you spend a while looking in the kitchen for something that might taste good and after a while Ellie finds vinegar that is probably decades old.

"that is so disgusting, remind me not to eat any of it"

Ellie's look confirms that somehow you'll have to eat it anyway.

"it will noticeable if we don't eat anything, just a small bite"

"Ellie what the fuck" you massage your temples with your thumb and watch her open the vinegar.

"not too much, okay?"

"yeah yeah"

In the end she used almost half the bottle to make it really gross. for an "extra reaction" she said. In the end you almost got caught by the pastor's right hand. In the end Ellie held your hand for exactly 4 seconds.

It was impressive how those 4 seconds stayed in your head for hours.

INTERACT WITH ONE OF THE LINKS UP THERE

Please post and repost a lot about Palestine especially right now. The videos shock me to my core and are really disturbing but people live these lives, these are children of someone. Please take your focus on the people in Palestine who are going thru hell. Help where you can

I really hope you liked this chapter, I will upload more after focusing more about palestine so it might take a while! Btw SO SORRY ITS THAT LONG

Taglist: @elliewilliamgfooc @bready101 @a-little-bit-of-everybody @vqxen @hersuniverse @nelzooo @shiimer @bellaramseysgirlfriend @sonthingwithl @vi0lentb3rry @elliewilliamsblunt @be3flow3r @adelaide013 @abbysbraids @mourningdovee

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roosterm3attrash · 1 year ago

Text

101 ways to kill Barney Calhoun

I ended up making this list by going through multiple servers and people so here cuz I found it in my phone notes

Anyway the brilliant minds of the half-life fandom

1.) Waited pressure plate with tnt under it

2.) im going to leave mines under his mattress

3.) i’m setting a rake on his floor so he steps on it and whacks his face

4.) I'm giving him a bomb disguised as a cigar

5.) barney death 3: he ate what elvis presley ate….

6.) I would kill Barney Calhoun by slapping him so hard on the ass that it gives him cardiac arrest

7.) I drop him onto a pit of venomous snakes

8.) Im going to give Barney a beer but instead of beer it will be filled with deadly neurotoxin

9.) “now gordon, ive been keepin an eye out on this combine hideout for a while. they seem to walk in a certain pattern when crossing over to the entrance, which makes me think theyve buried mines all over the place. now, ive memorized the pattern, so im just gonna sneak on over, and you follow my lead, alright? dont worry, i know exactly where all the mines are.” and then he explodes

10.) that one episode of sponge bob where he eats the exploding pie and explodes

11.) set up tripwire then he falls into a tiger pit

12.) I type kill npc_barney into console

13.) slap the boobies off his chest so hard them fly around the world and hit the side of his head like water balloons

14.) i could marry him and slowly feed him mercury over a span for 3 years until he dies of mercury poisoning

15.) He tries to become a wwe wrestler but gets killed in a freak accident mid match

16.) I would kill him by making him a pizza but it’s covered in big chunks of lead but it’s hidden in the sauce and it’s a Chicago style pizza

17.) bring him to a highway and kiss him so hard he gets knocked onto the road and gets ran over

18.) Peeling him apart by the dna strand and eating it like spaghetti

19.) barney gets trampled by a stampede of horses

20.) giving him under the counter off brand viagra

21.) put him in a washing machine and turn it on

22.) shark attack

23.) pit of sharks

24.) barney gets criticized so badly he dies

25.) barney sits in an uncomfortable chair for too long

26.) He gets his arm caught in a bear trap w a beer used as a lure

27.) HE BECOMES THE CAT THAT TRAUMATIZED HIM. HE….YKNOW…..

28.) he gets stuck in a swimming pool like hes in the sims and dies from getting exhausted and drowning

29.) barney roasting marshmallows but his stick ignites into flames and he burns to death

30.) ATTACH SO MANY BALLOONS TO BARNEY HE FLOATS AWAY INTO THE SKY NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN

31.) barney gets rejected by gordon and he gets so sad his body shuts down

32.) I kiss him so tenderly on the lips that he melts into a puddle and dies

33.) i throw him in to a volcano so that he melt into a puddle and dies

34.) "I’ll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then I’ll put that flea in a box, and then I’ll put that box inside of another box, and then I’ll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives…I’ll smash it with a hammer!"

35.) stick a bottle of beer into his throat, the whole bottle

36.) give Barney Calhoun a beer can full of poison

37.) hang a piano over the toilet and wait

38.) i think barney should have his spine ripped out through his mouth

39.) he goes to a bar and tries flirting with the bartender and the bartender takes out a shotgun and kills him on the spot

40.) punch him so hard in the penis that he shatters like a brittle glass

41.) bite him in half

42.) I'm grinding him in a giant shredder

43.) bro took a bath in hot mac 'n cheese

44.) i put him ina giant caldron full of water and i begin boiling him down to gelatin and broth

45.) barney accompanies the crew to the borealis and he steps over thin ice and gets dunked into the below zero water and freezes to death

46.) barney calhoun gets carried away by a tornado

47.) took barney on a vacation to Hawai’i and pushed him into a volcano

48.) He dies and he's never mentioned again and nobody cares

49.) died of tummy ache

50.) Stepped on by a strider

51.) shrinked until he disappeared completely

52.) blasted into the sun

53.) Stab him with 300 pencils made with real lead

54.) slip and falls and dies

55.) put him into a Minecraft furnace

56.) Barney ignores the wet floor sign and slips and cracks his head

57.) while swimming in the swimming pool he swims to fast and smashes his face against the pool's wall

58.) he gets a concussion and drowns

59.) i want to put him through a lunchmeat slicer

60.) He falls off a dumb huge cliff

61.) he lives his life to the fullest and at his deathbed at age 93, June 29th, 6:12 am he passes away

62.) he eats a burgie with too much grease and gets a heart attack

63.) testicular cancer

64.) He should get sucked into a fan while trying to fix it at Black Mesa and literally no one comes looking for him

65.) The Pita Bread Room

66.) slipped on a Banana peel

67.) ran over by a crap ton of shopping carts rolling down the hill

68.) barney overheats in a fursuit

69.) he has sex so bad that he dies

70.) Barney dies because i fucking kill him with a shovel 🖕

71.) barney eats the gas station sushi

72.) barney faints via twirling around and holding his hand in front of his forehead, and then slowly lying down with a flower in his hands to indicate death

73.) When they turn off the suppression fields he just blows up

74.) barney gets crushed by a giant boulder thats all i got son

75.) barney goes to the beach that makes you old

76.) His head spontaneously combusts and pops like corn

77.) erectile dysfunction

78.) we should also have him get carbon monoxide poisoning

79.) barney gets gaussian blurred into nothingness

80.) he eats 20 year old expired mcdonalds burger and contracts the worst case of food poisoning youve ever seen

81.) Have we done tying him to a train track like a damsel

82.) he dies in a glue trap

83.) barney develops lactose intolerance over the years of combine occupation and he drink milk and then dies from shitting hinself to death

84.) he should chocke on his favourite food

85.) barney gets lead poisoning from a 1990s garfield glass mug

86.) he chokes on plastic

87.) barney gets thrown throw a glass window from a 15 story building

88.) gordon gives barney a wedgie so bad that he splits in half and dies

89.) gordon and barney divorce and barney dies from heartbreak

90.) alyx and gordon have enough of barney’s snoring so they smother him in his sleep with a pillow

91.) he trips while walking with gordon and impales himself on gordons crowbar face

92.) if he were the size of an ant he'd be ok instead he blows up like a watermelon and his remains are fed to lamarr by a very delighted kleiner. he fucking hated barney

93.) dog roughhouses with barney and accidentally obliterates his spinal cord

94.) barney gets poisoned to death by his own chumtoad

95.) coats him in eggs and flour and fries him

96.) snatched by a hawk and eten alive

97.) barney gets to participate in a danganronpa killing game and gets executed

98.) barney opens the love-letter-for-you.txt.vbs file and it kills him

99.) elaborate rube goldberg machine to drop an anvil on barney

100.) barney dies in an Iron Maiden

101.) we should put barney under those old timey stone tablets meant to squish and torture people and make them talk

#half life #barney calhoun #half life 2 #hl

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