#I have 1500 followers now

[edenfenixblogs]

URGENT FOR MY BRAIN:

Is anyone here good at mashing up songs???????????

I noticed a similarity between two songs and I’m not good enough at music to mash them up and see how they work together but I NEED TO KNOW

I’m not joking. Please.

[amphar0ss]

pls remember i am hot (and trying to rebuild my blog)

[rosesradio]

You're the only person i follow who posts about thomas sanders

And i only watch him for sanders sides, i'm not really in the fsndom online, so i guess you are the best person to ask this

Why does thomas take so long to upload new sander sides?

ten questions scientists still can't answer, anon

[recurring-polynya]

For the garage sale 1500 follower fest: Portions for Foxes! :D Congrats on the milestone!

I posted the heartfelt and earnest scene from Portions for Foxes earlier, which got cut just because I went in a different direction. This one, on the other hand, got cut for being too bonkers, but I feel that you, especially, will appreciate it.

This takes place towards the end of fanfic when everyone is doing a little better and there are a bunch of sort of vignettes, like when they go to the art gallery to see the horrible painting of Byakuya. Maybe it's a spoiler for the fanfic, but it's also in the tags, so I don't feel too bad about it: Rukia is very pregnant at this point.

Anyway, this is why they should have had a big No Sex in the Champagne Room Royal Realm sign and also made everyone sign a waiver and also probably not let Renji and especially not Rukia up there in the first place.

👹 ❄️ 💥

And then there's the day The Experiment breaks out of Squad 12. It is very large and very disgusting and also has just far too many eyes and teeth and teeth-eyes.

Captain Kurotsuchi is the one who really should have taken care of it, but he happens to be taking some personal time in his sensory deprivation tank.

Captain Zaraki and his top seats are out on a mission. They will all be very salty about this when they return.

It also happens to be one of the days when Renji is over at the Sixth and Rukia is at the Thirteenth.

So, The Experiment breaks out of Squad 12, turns right, and and heads over to Squad 11. It's wrecked their mess hall and twenty meatheads are trying to fight it at once, when Rukia meanders over, dances out a Tsukishirou, and kills it dead in two seconds. And then leaves again.

Renji finds her down at the kidou butts later, cratering practice dummies with souren sokatsui, which he knows is her favorite.

"You here to yell at me?" she asks crossly.

"I made a joke the other day about you fighting Zaraki," he says slowly. "And I'm just now realizing that you weren't just being a worrywart. That it's been really fucking unfair of me to go around havin' a good time when you can't."

A pained look crosses Rukia's face. "I'm doing something important."

"That's right, you are," he announces. "You been doing every single thing that needs to be done since the minute we woke up in Kirinji's hot springs. You've been crushin' it." He takes a long pause. "And I think its been killing you."

"Can't you just yell at me?" she grumbles. "Aren't you mad I put our baby in danger?"

"Did you? he asks. "Baby's gone to bankai with you. Guess I kinda trust you to know what's okay and what's not."

Instead of answering, she annihilates another practice dummy, this time with a plain ol' shakkahou. She's become someone like Byakuya, who can channel a tremendous amount of destruction, even through the lower level spells.

And then Renji realizes what she's doing, that she did just answer him.

"Are you buddying off the baby's reiatsu?" he asks, incredulous.

"He doesn't mind," Rukia dismisses.

"That's not the point, the point is--"  He comes up short. "Are you just guessin' at that 'he' thing, or do you know something?"

Rukia shrugs. "Sode no Shirayuki says we are having a son. You know how full of shit she is, though."

"That's amazing," Renji breathes. "I mean, not that it's a boy, it had to be something, but that your zanpaktou…and you can share reiatsu…" He sits down, right on the ground. "You can't ever do anything normal, can you, Rukia?"

"I don't know how to make a dumb baby," Rukia scowls, crossing her arms. "I was blaming you."

[blorbologist]

Kicks my leggies - I am really coming around to my Age of Arcanum AU the more I think about it, though it’s still a heavy contest between it and Ruidusborn!Percy. Would anyone be down to send asks about either, or both? Might help me get my head in the game - anything from worldbuilding questions to how somethings might change to character dynamics/etc?

[bibleofficial]

Hi, a mutual who shall remain nameless here. I just read your tags on on the inner Mongolian child post. And like. I dunno how to say this, but that took me by surprise, cause I was so sure you were older than me... and I am 33 years old lol. Guess I was wiping l wrong 🙈

no i totally get it omg i’ve got the Elderly Problems like woodhouse (specifically s1e2 11:55) ‘my knees’ but also my hips .. my back … my assbole but im older than u anyway <3 my child

[antiauteur]

man I wish I didn't delete my previous blog because I had that one for 11 years, but I kinda just wish I had a larger following so that I could get a friendly ask every once in a while.

[oh-look-car-horns]

Wondering what boop count your 3 letter word corresponds to? I gotchu:

Using a python script I wrote, I booped myself 50,000 times, saving an image of my boop-o-meter every 500 boops. Before we get into the results, there are two important limitations to this study that I should mention:

Firstly, because I only recorded the boop-o-meter every 500 boops, if a message appeared for less than 500 boops it may not have been caught.

Secondly, every now and then my computer would lose a boop or two when a click wouldn't register. This is seen in the 500 and 1000 boop images below, which in reality read 498 and 994 respectively. Because of this, boop values are slightly lower than they appear.

With that out of the way, lets dig in.

0-999:

From boops 0-999, the boop-o-meter displays your boop count, and changes color as you boop

Boop count: 0 Boop count: 500 Boop count: 1000

Boop fact: the colors do not change after 1000

LOL:

Between boops 1000 and 1500, the boop-o-meter changed to display 'LOL'. This likely took place at 1000 boops, but maybe it said 'MAX' or sumn for awhile at first? Idk this is already the misinformation website so not my problem.

Boop count: 1500 (actually more like 1490 ish)

More results below the cut

OMG:

Between 1500 and 2000, the boop-o-meter changed to display 'OMG'. Again, this probably happened at 1500 but who knows. Maybe staff made it 1523 for the bit or something.

Boop count: ~2000

WOW:

The boop-o-meter remained at omg until the 3500 boop readpoint, when it switched to 'WOW', meaning this transition happens somewhere between ~2980 and ~3480.

Boop count: ~3500

Boop fact: 'WOW' is the second longest reigning message

*-*:

Between 5000 and 5500 the boop-o-meter switched to '*-*'. You get the idea at this point so I'll speed it up.

Boop count: ~5500

WHY:

The boop-o-meter changed to 'WHY' between 6000 and 6500 boops. For science. That's why.

Boop count: ~6500

PLZ:

Next was 'PLZ', switching between 7000 and 7500.

Boop count: ~7500

AAA:

I'm not sure what bloody urine has to do with anything, but for some reason staff felt is was important to display, switching between 7500 and 8000.

Boop count: ~8000

;_;:

Huh the colon makes that one look weird. 8000-8500.

Boop count: ~8500

Boop fact: That fucking cat haunts me in my dreams

0_0:

I realized after I set my pyautogui script running that my computer wouldn't turn off its screen because of the clicking, so there was a strobing blue light in my room all night. This encapsulated my expression while trying to sleep (8500-9000).

Boop count: ~9000

MAX:

After 9000 it displayed 'MAX'. This was cap. (9000-9500 switch).

Boop count: OVER 9000 (9500)

<33:

I miss my wife. 9500-10,000.

Boop count ~10,000

TUM BLR:

THE HOLY GRAIL. The boop-o-meter switched to displaying 'TUM BLR' between 10,000 and 10,500 boops. Because my actual boop count was slightly behind my theoretical, I'd guess that this change happened at 10,000 boops.

Boop count: ~10,500 (likely switched at 10,000)

Summary:

When charted the boop curve looks as follows:

Boop curve: 0 - 10,000 boops

My script continued to run until 53,000 boops, but no further changes were observed. Again, there were quite possibly more messages at lower boop values, but my ass is not checking. Maybe I should have scaled my sampling accordingly, but it is what it is. Thank you for joining me on this journey, and if you have any corrections or more information, please add it to this post.

Boop fact: Terfs DNI

[davepaste]

my glasses broke in june and i've just been retaping the arms back on every few days

this is going to break me or help me reach enlightenment either way i think im going to find out soon

[thefallling]

Dearest fellow tumblrinas, Do I have a poll for you!

Got curious.

Anyways please reblog for larger sample size

If you do I'll give you a big hug :D (with consent)

(ok just now realizing it says "less that 100" I mean less than! oopsies

[locktober-sharing]

NOTES GAME TIME!

Only open until Nov 15th!

So mine is a bit different, for now. I am currently on day 24 of denial (no cage). Once we have some money, we will be looking at getting me a cage.

So, with that being said, a notes game that, for now, will be days of denial but once I get my cage, will convert 1:1 to days in chastity. Time to see how much trouble I've been getting myself into with all my sharing of posts here and the bullying and creating tasks/punishments on the discord server >.>

1 like = 12 hrs

1 reblog = 30 mins

1 comment = 30 mins

1 new follower = 2 days

Limit = No Limit now

500 notes: I will respond to any asks honestly and fully that would not dox me

1500 notes: I will Opt-In on the no swearing rule and the typo rule (once added) on the Discord server

2500 notes: I will make a list of rules to follow during my time denied/locked. This list will be shared on Discord.

5000 notes: Add 180 days to the final tally

Further note goals may be added in the future

[barcaatthemoon]

party girl || barcelona x reader ||

a night out at the club takes an interesting turn for you.

minors dni, 18+, smut warning.

a huge thank you to everybody who has followed me. 1500 is a lot for a blog i never really thought anyone would pay attention to.

the club was a mess of sweaty bodies grinding against each other just barely to the beat. it was like you were in a bubble with every single person on the dance floor. within your little bubble, life was great. you had a sense of euphoria as the strong hands that had been holding your hips for the past three songs moved up along your sides.

it was always risky to let strangers touch you like this, but you knew that you were in a somewhat safe space. the club had good security, and nearly every patron you had come across was a woman. you felt lips press against your neck and your head fell back against a slender shoulder. your eyes were closed as you turned around, perfectly catching this woman's lips.

you felt your knees grow a bit weak as this woman deepened the kiss. just before your knees did buckle, you felt very familiar hands on your waist. lucy tugged your head back a bit as your eyes opened to see ingrid standing in front of you. immediately, your heart began to race with panic as you started to look around for mapi.

"don't get scared now," lucy teased. you turned around to glare at her, but you stopped when you caught sight of mapi and ona behind her.

"come back with us," ona told you. she reached out and took your hands in hers. you were a bit too shocked to argue as ona led you out of the club. it wasn't until you were in the back of an uber heading towards what you assumed was ona's apartment that you realized what you had done.

"mapi's going to kill me," you groaned helplessly. lucy rolled her eyes as she placed her hand on the back of your neck. "i'm a dead woman, i kissed ingrid."

"ingrid kissed you, first of all. second, she's not going to kill you, trust me. we wouldn't be bringing you over if we thought she'd kill you," lucy promised. you let out a small whimper, and lucy pecked your lips before you could start pouting. "lucy!"

"it's fine," lucy huffed. you were torn between arguing with lucy and apologizing to ona. ona seemed to understand what was going through your mind, and before you could do either, she kissed you. you had never kissed ona before, and you didn't think that you'd ever kiss anyone like that again. you had expected her to be softer, but instead, ona kissed you roughly. your lips were definitely bruised, and you were surprised that she didn't draw blood when she nipped at your lips. "come on, we're here."

"what am i here for, exactly?" you asked as lucy pulled you out of the car.

"we're gonna fuck you, obviously," lucy said. your hands began to sweat a bit as they brought you into the building. everything was moving quickly, but you weren't sure that you would have even considered going home alone if you had the chance to. "you still like this sort of thing, don't you?"

"lucy," you hissed as you swatted at her to be quiet. the blush on your cheeks told lucy everything that she needed to know.

"come on, we wouldn't want to keep our guests waiting." this time, you were surprised by ona being the one to push you forward. you wondered what lucy had told her about you from your days as a lioness. you weren't overly proud of all the things you had done or let people do to you, but there had never been a dull night for you at camp before.

mapi and ingrid stood in the hallway waiting for the three of you. it felt wrong to watch as ingrid greeted ona with a kiss. you found yourself turning away, but also desperately trying to avoid mapi's gaze. you couldn't shake the feeling that she was somehow upset with you for kissing ingrid despite both of them being here waiting for you.

"hola chica." mapi greeted you the same way that she did at practice when you tried to keep to yourself. it was hard, but you had finally shaken the "party girl" persona that you had been dubbed with at the beginning of your career. "no kisses for me? i am sure that everybody else got one."

"she's always a little shy at first," lucy said as she unlocked the door. mapi stuck by your side as the group made their way inside. ingrid didn't seem to mind at all, far too preoccupied with ona. "if you don't want to do this, let me know, okay? i know that i sprung this on you, but it's always a little spontaneous isn't it?"

"i'm fine, i promise," you said quietly. lucy nodded and pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth. she walked off, leaving you alone with mapi on the couch. this time, you couldn't ignore the older spanish defender. "d-did you know that ingrid was going to kiss me?"

"no, but i hoped that she would. one of us had to make a move to get this started, right?" mapi asked. it was stupid, but you felt embarrassed as you nodded. you had never made the first move with anybody before, always the one sought after by teammates and strangers alike. although, you'd never do something like this with a group of people that you didn't trust to take care of you. lucy had hooked up with you both by herself and with others, so she knew all of your rules by now. "can i tell you a secret?"

"sure." you glanced over at mapi, who leaned in close to whisper in your ear.

"ingrid made most of our first moves. other than the ring, that is. i did the big one, and that's what counts," mapi told you. you weren't surprised, having noticed how mapi and ingrid were with each other when nobody else was looking. "i can make this move with you, don't worry."

mapi gently cupped your face in her hands. her thumbs rubbed along your cheekbones as she leaned in. mapi moved much slower than you had expected, but you didn't mind it. the build up made the kiss even better, and you found yourself melting back into the couch as mapi covered her body with yours. her tongue swiped past your lips, giving you a taste of the mint from her drink that expertly masked the bit of alcohol.

"you're being greedy." ona wedged herself behind you. mapi broke the kiss to say something back to ona, who wasn't listening in the slightest. ona cared much more about pawing at your clothes as she kissed you. once again, you could feel your lips begin to bruise from the roughness of ona's mouth against yours. you felt your stomach tighten as you thought about how rough she'd be with you in bed.

"let's go somewhere with more room," lucy suggested. you were led out of the living room with mapi and ona both competing for your attention. lucy and ingrid didn't seem surprised in the slightest by any of this. you could see lucy's hands on ingrid's body as they slid beneath ingrid's top. that was the first article of clothing successfully removed.

you tried to lean towards where ingrid and lucy were, but it was no use. mapi finally managed to get the top of your dress undone, causing it to fall in a pool at your ankles. you didn't even have a chance to step out of it before you were being pulled onto mapi's lap on the bed. ona followed up closely, placing herself in between everything happening.

out of the corner of your eye, you could see lucy splitting her attention between ona and ingrid. you couldn't do much aside from watch as clothing disappeared at breakneck speed while mapi hooked her legs around yours to keep them open.

"lucia has told us a lot about you, but i want to know what you like," mapi said. she ran her fingers through your hair, smirking when your body went lax against hers. "talk to me, chica. what do you want me to do to you?"

"i want you to fuck me so good that your name is the only one i can think to scream," you told her. mapi took it for what it was, an open challenge. "i want you to split me wide fucking open."

"careful what you wish for (y/n)," lucy warned. you shot her a glare before turning your attention back to mapi. the spanish defender captured your lips in another kiss as her hand moved down your body to rest in between your legs. she wasn't doing much other than just letting her hand cup your pussy, but you were still moving your hips to seek out more contact. "she'll break you if you tell her to."

"mapi wouldn't hurt me unless i really wanted it, isn't that right?" your tone was dripping with false innocence and sweetness. mapi bit her lip as she let her hand lay flat against you. you continued to grind your hips, now getting yourself off by rubbing against her fingers. you let out a soft moan, one that prompted mapi to kiss you a little more.

those kisses were interrupted by ona, who pulled your face away from mapi's. you could see ingrid behind her, thrusting harshly, and lucy's body beneath the both of them being the only thing keeping ona from slamming into you. the kiss with her was messy and desperate, like ona had been craving her moment with you all night.

mapi slowly began to pull more of your attention away from everything else in the room. she had two fingers plunging deep inside of you, keeping a steady rhythm as she began to fuck you. next to you, ingrid and lucy were fucking ona harshly, and mapi noticed that your eyes continuously drifted over towards them.

"do you like it rough? i can fuck you like that. i'll bend you over so you can get a better look too," mapi offered. "would you like that? just say the word and it's all yours."

"mapi please, i want it so bad," you told her. you were surprised how quickly you were reduced to whining. lucy had always liked to joke that you were easy to break, that it was why you were so fun to pass around for a night. you could spend an hour getting fucked relentlessly and once you had the energy to would be asking for it all over again.

"bring her over here," ingrid said. mapi moved you over ona and lucy's bodies. ingrid helped to position you once you were close enough. her touch was less gentle now than it had been earlier in the night. she was being less careful with you, like she was no longer afraid of scaring you away. "do you want to taste ona?"

"yes, please." ingrid surprised you by pulling out of ona and guiding your mouth to the tip of her strap. the subtle smirk on her face grew as she watched you swallow up every inch of her strap that she offered to you. mapi eased into you as ingrid pulled out and pushed your face down towards ona's cunt.

you could hear lucy fucking into ona's ass from beneath her as ingrid guided each stroke of your tongue. occasionally, she'd pull your head away from ona to have you suck on her strap or give you a close up as she fucked ona. it was a lot, and the way that mapi roughly thrust in and out of you had your legs shaking quicker than anybody else had in a long time.

mapi kept thrusting into you even after your body had stilled. her pace was relentless, and you could only get her to stop by squirming away. you laid back against the pillows for a moment as you watched the scene in front of you. you got the sense that they had definitely done this together without you. mapi's strap found a home in ona's mouth, guided by lucy's gentle praises and the strong grip of her hand in ona's hair.

their positioning switched, and you found yourself invited onto lucy's face. lucy's tongue was comfortable and familiar, something that you had come to know well. lucy moved the same way that she always did with you, holding your thighs to keep you on her face until she was finished. you had more than enough freedom to wiggle around and position yourself more comfortably on lucy's face. she knew how important control over your own pleasure was for you sometimes, often having her own reservations about giving that sort of thing up, especially in front of a group.

"you look so good on lucy's face." ona's words were just barely strung together as ingrid began to fuck her once again. mapi was beneath ingrid, eating her out like how lucy was eating you out. you wondered if you were in what would normally be ona's spot, and if you were, the small spanish woman didn't seem to mind one bit.

she relished in the harsh thrusts of ingrid's strap moving in and out of her. you wondered what it would have felt like to be in her position, but you were content where you were. lucy's tongue brought you right up to your peak before easing you away from it only to work you up again and again. you weren't to the point of begging. you had never been able to hold out well, but lucy knew how to edge you for explosive orgasms.

you drenched her face as you squirmed and wriggled your hips wildly. ona was leaned over to lick away the cum you had left on lucy's face. you couldn't believe what you were seeing, and if your body didn't feel so spent, you would have re-joined them. lucy seemed to understand your exhaustion as she pulled you away from the bed to the bathroom.

the shower was spacious with a little ledge for you to rest on. lucy took care in helping you clean up, and the two of you soon found yourselves joined by ona, who seemed to be in a similar state to you. lucy took care of both of you with equal amounts of effort. the three of you were nearly finished when ingrid and mapi came into the bathroom. ona wrapped you up in a robe and led you into a different bedroom than the one you had just been in.

"do you want to stay?" ona asked you. you weren't used to having a space to stay. someone was always there with you, usually a roommate or close friend. someone who never judged you or would raise too many questions in the morning. everybody knew what you got up to, but none of them really ever put much thought into whether or not you spent the rest of your night alone.

"the question is do you want to sleep in here with us or do you want to go back to mapi and ingrid's room? it'll be cooler in here and mapi sleeps naked," lucy said as she walked into the room. there was an extra pep in her step, the one you recognized as her pride from making you and ona cum. she was feeling herself, and the confidence was extremely sexy.

"i don't think that-," ona started, only to be cut off by both you and lucy speaking in unison.

"it's different," the two of you said. ona rolled her eyes as she put a sleep shirt on and nothing else. you found yourself in a pair of lucy's boxers and one of your old england shirts that had mysteriously gone missing years ago. lucy got dressed in her own pajamas before she got in bed with the two of you, placing herself in the middle. the three of you fell asleep together, both you and ona laying there comfortably with one of lucy's arms around your shoulders each.

[hazelfoureyes]

Have you ever thought about the idea of a Clueless ace reader x ace alastor trying to figure out what all the fuss is about? Couple different ways it could go obviously but I feel like it would be a perfect comedy smut

Thank you for this meal. Okay I know this is LOOSELY based on your prompt, please forgive me. Can I add in that they be a little tipsy?

After a few drinks, you and Alastor do your usual teasing and mimicking of the others dramatic displays of physical affection. But, unusually, Alastor seems to be really invested in the joke tonight…

Warnings/promises: light smut (fingering), wrong kind of haha, sconces, bad Angel accent, Under 1500 words

maybe the tag list? Works list: @ xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx

Alastor list: @celestial-vomit , @amurtan

.

Fuck Joke Around and Find Out

The evening started with drinks among the group gathered at the bar. Everyone talking, sipping, leaning into each other to be heard better. Vaggie’s fingers playing with Charlie’s, Angel inching closer and closer to Husk until he was quite literally on top of him, to Husk’s obvious embarrassment. At some point, Angel took Husker’s hand, the two slinking down the hallway. Soon after, Vaggie not-so-discreetly followed a bouncing Charlie to their top floor home.

After realizing the couples snuck off, you turned to Alastor and asked, already smiling, “Oh I guess it’s our turn?”

Your giggling slipped into mutual cackles, his brows rose and he asked, “Your room or mine?”

You threw your leg over Alastor’s lap and straddled him, mustering your best Angel Dust accent, “Pssst rooms are for squares, baby.”

Normally, especially when having a little to drink, the physical barrier between each other was thin and easily toppled. An unspoken understanding had formed some time ago, allowing you both to relax a little more than usual when in close proximity. He still attempted his touchy intrusions to fluster and bother people, but he knew that didn’t work quite as effectively on you.

“Squares? Oh, not us.” A smirk, his head somewhat dramatically shaking a reinforced ‘no’, making his bobbed hair sway left and right.

When you start a pitifully-motivated grinding against him, losing balance and tipping backward, Alastor’s large hands come to the dip of your hips and still you. A laughed, accent-less, “Thanks, trying to do it like he did,” fell sloppily from your mouth, your hands going to his shoulders for extra security. Your head bent down, stifling another nervous giggle from spilling out. “I think this is exactly how Angel had Husk pinned. Not a convincin’ portrayal, pookie?” Your accent was shit, but he smiled all the same. His ears were pressed down and to the side, resting a little more against his skull than usual, something that seemed to happen often when he had a couple glasses. It looked more relaxed than his normal way of wearing them, but you never asked him about it.

Alastor’s finger tipped your chin upward, pulling you in for a kiss against his grin. When you huffed, fighting the awkward laugh, he swiped his tongue over your lips and slid into your mouth. A hum, as you relaxed into it. What a long joke this is, you think somewhere a little up and to the left of your liquor softened mind.

When alone together, you’d occasionally play around. Just mimicking what ridiculous things the other sinners had done recently, laughing and moving on to general gossip and conversation. Maybe the alcohol was dragging out the bit.

His hands pulled you forward, your little hip movements actually making contact with his crotch now. You hear yourself moan into his mouth before you even realize you’d made the noise.

Thinking becoming a little fuzzy, you pull back from him, “Oops. Sorry. Got carried away.”

“No need to apologize. What’s a little joking around between pals?”

You nod before a surprised shriek is forced out of you, Alastor pulling your hips down and starting to sincerely grind against you.

“I didn’t expect you to remember all the moves, Alastor.” Your hand came to your mouth trying to still the tremble of your lips as you spoke. Other hand now gripping his shoulder to stay upright. You’d never have played around with any one else but him like this. Too much confusion to deal with after. But, Alastor’s “playing” was so convincing. You weren’t minding it, to your surprise, but you weren’t sure you understood the source material as well he did.

His head fell back with a roar, “Being an infrequent lover doesn’t mean I am a bad one.”

Oh. Was the blush on your face noticeable in the dingy light of the parlor? You had never heard him say that word before. His hips were still moving, but the laughing stopped. It wasn’t unpleasant, in fact you found yourself sinking a little more, letting your weight settle fully. It earned you a sloppy half-smile from him. “That would make them experts, compared to us,” You motioned your head in the general direction of the stairs.

“You think so?”, he leaned up to kiss you, you leaned back a little, causing his lips to miss yours. A quick annoyed glare passed over his face before slipping back into a neutral stare, “Are you in the mood for a good joke tonight, dear? I wouldn’t be opposed to making you”, he grazed his nose against yours, “laugh.”

You let him capture your mouth with his, a surprisingly more intense kiss, before pulling away again when you caught another moan rising up, “I don’t mind a good laugh, now and then.” Did you-you say that or Angel-you?

The sofa cushions were pressing into your back before you could process what had happened. Alastor’s body was resting between your legs, which were spread open around him. His lips didn’t leave yours, one of his hands cradling your neck to trap you between him and his hungry mouth. The other was undoing the button of your pants and sliding under the band of your underwear.

His back was arched, his considerable height forcing him to bend over you if he wanted to continue the kiss, which he apparently did. Now on your back, you wiggled under him, awkward and uncertain what role you played anymore.

When his fingers slipped past your bottom lips and the mound of his hand ground into your clit, you pulled away from him and both hands shot to your mouth. You were aware you were in a public space but you couldn’t see anything past the sofa. Everything beyond him and the tattered chaise lounge was shadowy and lacking contrast. Even then, your heart was pounding.

When did the playing around shift? Was this—- did he think this was funny? His smile was strong against your neck still, but maybe not?

You splayed your fingers out to better hide yourself, embarrassed at how your hips rolled into his palm. Looking past your hands, you could see him staring down at you now, wide shoulders hiding you from the light of the sconces above. He had the same look as always in his eyes, nothing out of place. Cooly, he asked without actually wanting an answer, “Do you think this is what they’re doing now? Or is everyone already…”

A finger slipped down and into you, your legs clenching around his hips. You heard him sigh, before a second finger began to push in. Your hips lifted off the sofa and angled into his hand, welcoming the way he was pressing down and into you.

Oh, yeah, no.

A pent up moan tumbled past your lips when his fingers crooked up and pressed into the soft bundle of nerves just inside your entrance.

“What a curious laugh you have, my dear. Are my jokes that good?” He buried his face into the crook of your neck again when a voice stopped him from leaving the little marks he had been set on.

“I thought jokes were supposed to be funny. When is the funny part going to happen?”

Alastor’s ears were pin-straight into the air, hair stiff and sharp, as his face slowly turned to the side to see Niffty sitting at the bar.

”Oh, was I suppose to leave when everyone else did?” His hand slipped out of you and then in turn, your pants.

“No, Niffty, dear. That’s quite alright.”, Ears faced back and down, eyes half lidded and smile clearly forced, “We were just— playing around.”

“Really? Cuz it kinda looked like you guys were gonna fuck.” She hopped off the bar stool and scurried down the hall, “Please don’t dirty the sofa, sir.” echoing behind her.

You patted his shoulder, lifting yourself up on your elbows, “Can I be Husk next?”

I wrote this while washing dishes— the dishes aren’t very clean but neither am I

༻Masterlist༺

[meggahamicide]

Here it is! My 1500 follower DTIYS!

Like I said earlier, this isn't for any award or anything, but I hope that won't dissuade people from having fun and giving it a try!

Since I did a non-au piece for my last milestone, I wanted to give Vermin the spotlight for this one. I really wanted to find a way to have all the characters in there without having ALL the characters in there, y'know, so little toy dolls is the alternative.

There's no pressure here. Explore any poses, expressions, lighting, and anything else you can think of, but please keep it in the au if you do redraw it and make sure it's sfw! No tcest!!! (and, as a personal request, have at least one of the little dolls in there)

Now be free and have fun!!!

Make sure to tag me in whatever you draw!!!

Not text image below:

[laylaysdelusions]

My silver dress and your kisses

(Pazzi x reader)

A/n: ok guys this is a long one! It’s 1500+ words of a slutty mess<3

You adjust your spaghetti strap of your dress and spritz your vanilla perfume once or twice and the. You follow your gfs out the door.

The entire car ride had tension due to the fact both Azzi and Paige were wanting to rip that silver dress right off your body but they just had to wait until tonight.

As you arrived at the club, the bouncer immediately looked you up and down with a smirk and being your oblivious little self you didn’t notice but Paige and Azzi sure as hell did. They both gave him a disgusted face, making him quit. The thing about going out with your girlfriends is that they are very possessive and when they don’t like something or someone they let it be known. You pretend like it bothers you but it really doesn’t.

You walk hand and hand with Paige to the bar, Azzi following. They order you a few tequila shots, slipping extra cash to the bartender without you noticing. Paige’s nil money comes in handy for night outs.

You suddenly heard your favorite song come on. “Please dance with me guysss” you whine, tipsy. “Ok baby just this song” Azzi says and Paige nods. You move over to the dance floor full of drunk rich people. You grab Paige’s face and reach on your tippy toes to kiss her. Your cheeks turn red. “Strawberry lipgloss?” She smiles and you mumble a ‘yes’. Azzi raises an eyebrow, making you remember. “You are not gonna give mommy a taste?” she pouts in a condescending tone.

“Of course I will mommy” you replied crossing your arms over your stomach, leaning up to kiss her too. Your height make them both coo everytime you give them a kiss. It takes so much effort for you since they’re so tall and big. Your small size actually turns them on more than they’d admit to you. Paige notices that your dress is pulled up a little, revealing your cute lacy panties.

“I see your panties baby” she says in a voice that lets you know she’s correcting you. Your hands pull it down, making a tit almost pop out. Azzi twists her face, you know they’re not very happy with your outfit choice for a public appearance. “Sweet girl you know better” Paige slaps your ass, causing you to flinch. “You must want to be a little brat tonight huh?” Paige grits her teeth.

“How about this, we’ll spend another hour here but you have to sit in one of our laps the entire time and no more drinking either, alright?” Azzi says. She's not as mad as Paige but she’s still mad. You calmly walk over to the seating booths. Paige pulls you into her lap, wrapping her veiny and long fingers around your waist.

You want to have more tequila but there’s no arguing with your girlfriends what they say is final. You pick at your acrylics as you avoid eye contact. “Whatcha quit talkin’ for?” the blonde looks at you, a glint of lust lies in her eyes. “D-don’t know” you mumble. Paige takes a sniff of your scent, making her chuckle. “Vanilla hm?” She says. You nod. “That’s cute, you know we like that one”.

Azzi scoots closer to you, resting her hand on your thigh. You’re not that dumb you’re aware she’s trying to rile you up so by the time you go home you’re desperate. “I know it’s been a while since we went out, i’m sorry sweet thing” azzi rubs her hand on your leg, massaging it. Paige on the other hand is taking in your appearance, smell, pure sweetness. She wants to put you over her lap for being the tease you are but fuck she has a soft spot for you.

You can’t help but turn red at the thought that anyone can see you smashed between the Paige bueckers and Azzi Fudd. This club is all three of your favorites because it’s too expensive for the average fan girl to afford so it is more private but you still never know.

Your brain has been so busy you haven’t paid much attention to their attire till now. Azzi is wearing a lavender dress with a decently high slit on the side. You don’t miss that it's Paige’s favorite shade either. Paige is wearing an all white suit. She knows that her girls think it’s sexy.

You feel the need to go to the bathroom so you ask them to get up. They say yes of course so you walk down the hallway with your heels hitting the floor. You walk in and see a girl with cakey makeup and a black and white suit on. “Hi baby girl” she says, giving you a wink that makes you cringe. “Sorry not interested” you say quickly going into a stall.

You finish and walk out to the sinks and unfortunately she’s still standing there. “Oh come on don’t be that way” she says in an aggravating voice. “I’m taken and I wouldn’t be interested anyway” you sass her, tossing your hair over your shoulder. “Your ass looks too good in that mamas” she says and you give her a gag in response. As you go to leave the restroom you realize that Azzi and Paige are standing right there and they witnessed the whole thing.

“What the fuck” Paige says to the random girl. “Oh shit” the girl says, running away like a bitch. You assume she recognized your girlfriends. Azzi grabs your arm so tight it must have accidentally left a bruise. They pretty much drag you to the car. You know they probably aren’t mad at you but more so the girl, it’s still an excuse to fuck you roughly.

As soon as you enter the apartment, your small body is immediately pushed up against the wall. “What was that little stunt with this fuckin’ dress hm?” She says. “Your tits are practically falling out of it and your ass is literally showing” she says through gritted teeth. Azzi must have gone to the bedroom because you didn't see her. You don’t think about it long because you’re distracted by Paige’s lips on the sweet spot behind your ear. You bite your lip as your panties dampen slightly. Paige picks you up like you’re light work as she brings you to the bedroom.

That’s when you see Azzi sitting on the bed with a strap attached to her hips. Fuck. You know you’re in for a long night right then and there. “Don’t be shy honey come here” the curly headed girl beckoned you over. Paige leans down to your ear level. “You better ride that shit like your life depends on it and if you don’t do it correctly you get no orgasm and a spanking”. You frantically nod.

Azzi pulls up your dress just enough to see your wet panties. “Our baby loves being treated like a toy doesn’t she?” Azzi says and you shake your head yes. She rips your underwear down your legs. You try to ease yourself slowly onto the silicon cock but Azzi doesn’t approve, she shoves you down on it so hard it makes your head spin in circles. “Oh fuck!” You yell out.

“Shh” she pacifies you. You almost forgot Paige was still in the room until started to feel kisses down your neck. You let out a small whine even though you tried to stay quiet. You keep flopping up and down on Azzi’s dick while Paige kisses all around your body. You feel like you're floating. You’re biting your bottom lip so hard you taste blood but you don’t even care.

Paige brings her hand down to slap your ass, leaving her hand print. You’re squirming so much on the strap because it feels so good. It has to be atleast 7 inches and you feel it everywhere. Azzi presses on your stomach to show you where her dick is. Paige speaks up against your face.

“Ya feel that? She’s in your stomach baby” the blonde laughs at you as if you’re just a little kid no one is concerned about.

Your body is alive as you feel the knot in your stomach approaching. “Please please” you shutter underneath their fiery touches. “Mommy please!” You say as your body starts to shake. “Go ahead, let go on your mommy’s cock” Paige says, your reaction is instant. Your juices leak out all over the three of you. You fucking squirted. After you catch your breath you turn strawberry red because you realize you’ve made a mess on them.

“I think you should clean her dick up, don't ya think?” You nod at the blondie’s instructions. You lay down towards the strap and wrap your lips around it. You damn near choke on it when you feel Paige enter a finger inside your pussy. You are still soaked and you know the bed is probably soaked too. Paige pushes her thick finger further inside causing you to gag around the cock. “F-fuck” you stutter with your mouth full. “Quit whining” she says and slaps your ass again. Azzi looks into your eyes, you flush deeper. Between the sounds of your mouth in the strap and the wetness of your pussy lips you’re drowning.

Tears stream down your face with pleasure behind them. You feel the familiar warmth again and it’s obvious to the both of them you’re about to cum. “Shh let it out” Azzi says as she grips your hair aggressively. Paige jerks your face away from the strap, leaving you coughing and cumming. “Oh- sh- thank you” you say with a high pitched whine that leaves your mouth.

You turn over on your back, panting and crying. You make little hums and puffs, trying to gain your strength back. They massage your legs and back until you come back to normal. You go back to your bashful state.

“Thank you..” You sigh in contentment with the both of your girls.

Taglist: @muhlslover @heart4caitlin @cosmopretty @mrsarnold

[covenofagatha]

But you're my stepmom! (Part 1)

A year after your dad's divorce with your mom, he introduces you to his new wife, Agatha. And she just wants to get to know you better.

Word count: 1500+

Warnings: mentions of underage drinking, blood

Taglist: @stayevildarling

A/N: trying to make this more of a slowburn, but we'll see how long that lasts lol. Part 2 should be up by tonight hopefully

“Are you sure your dad won’t mind?” Wanda asks hesitantly, a few steps behind you as you stop in front of the gate. 

You had gotten so bored in fifth period English that you had all but dragged your best friend to your car to skip the rest of the day. And now you were at your dad’s house, sneaking into the pool in his backyard. He lived in a house twenty minutes away from your high school and your mom’s house in hopes that you would come visit him often. You knew your dad wasn’t supposed to be home until late that night, so he would never find out that you had been there. 

Things with your dad hadn’t been great ever since you had been the one to find out he was having an affair two years ago with a woman that he worked with. You told your mom, who promptly filed for divorce, and then your dad got dumped by his side piece because she was tired of not being able to go public soon enough. The irony still makes you laugh. 

Almost a year after the divorce, he had sat you down and said: “Sweetie, there’s someone I want you to meet.” Enter Agatha Harkness, your dad’s new wife. The first thought that went through your mind when you first saw her was, is this woman blind? She was so far out of your dad’s league it wasn’t even funny. Your dad is a relatively short man, more gray than black hair at this point, with a square-shaped face. Meanwhile, Agatha was ethereal. Her piercing blue eyes always gave you the feeling that she knew something you didn’t, and her luscious dark hair was always shiny and cascading over her shoulders perfectly. 

And there was something about her long fingers and veiny hands that made you want to scream. 

You weren’t exactly sure how a woman like this had ended up with your dad, but out of spite for your dad and everything he had put your family through, you made it a point to stay as far away from her as possible. They had been married for about a year now and you can count on one hand the number of interactions you’ve had with her.

“Y/n?” Wanda brings you back to focus. Apparently you’ve just been standing in front of the gate. 

“He’s working late,” is all you say, sliding your key into the lock and swinging the gate open. Your mom may have dragged your dad through the ringer in the divorce, but he had bounced back alright. Or this was all Agatha’s money. 

“What about your stepmom?” 

You shrug. “No clue what she does. But there were no cars in the driveway so we’re probably fine.” You lead her into the backyard, throwing your school bag onto a chair and stripping off clothes. Before Wanda can say anything, you jump into the pool in only your bra and underwear. “Come in!” You shout happily, splashing water at your friend. 

Wanda finally lets go of her reservations and follows suit. The two of you splash around for what feels like forever, just enjoying the sun and each other’s company. You were so thankful for Wanda; she had been with you through everything and was truly the best friend you could’ve asked for. 

“Do you want something to drink?” you ask, after you guys have just been floating for a while. 

“Um, sure. Could I have some water?” 

“Yeah, I’ll be right back.” You get out of the pool, not even bothering to dry yourself off even a little, and enter the house through the sliding glass doors that your dad should really start locking. You pad through the hallway to the kitchen before filling a cup with water and grabbing two of the beers from the two packs on the shelf in the fridge. You doubt they’ll even notice. You shut the refrigerator door, whirl around to go back outside, and jump. The beer bottles and the cup of water you’re holding slip out of your grasp and smash onto the floor. 

Agatha Harkness is standing right there, watching you amusedly. “You’re soaking wet, darling.” The innuendo makes your stomach heat up ever so slightly. And then you realize what’s going on.  

“What are you doing here?” you ask, panic running through you. If she tells your dad–

“I could ask you the same thing. Shouldn’t you be at school? Can’t be skipping during your senior year.” Her eyes glide up and down your scantily clad body and you suddenly get the urge to wrap your arms around yourself. 

“I–”

“You’re bleeding, sweetheart. Let’s get you cleaned up.” You finally look down at the ground and see a mess of broken glass and alcohol. And blood, from your right leg. The pieces of the beer bottles must’ve cut you. 

“Oh, shit,” you say distractedly, watching the way the red streams down your leg and collects in a pool, mixing with the beer. 

“Come on, we can take care of this later,” Agatha says, helping you carefully step over the pile on the floor. She chews her lip while you watch her try to decide where to put you. You can’t lay on the white couch because you’re actively dripping with blood, and it’ll be too uncomfortable for both of you to have you stand. So you hop onto the counter top, staring at her expectantly. “That works,” Agatha agrees and grabs some paper towels. 

You stick your right leg out and she gently applies pressure with the paper towel, trying to stop the block. You then realize just how close the older woman is to you. She’s standing in-between your legs, her face only about half a foot away from yours. You can’t stop yourself from looking down at her lips. She glances at you and your eyes immediately dart up, but you don’t think it’s quick enough based on the knowing smirk that’s playing on her lips. You’re still practically naked and goosebumps are lining your skin, both from the cold and from her.

You clear your throat. “You’re not, uh, gonna tell my dad, are you?” You wince as she presses down harder on a cut. 

“What, that you skipped school, broke into our house, went swimming in our pool, and then was underage drinking?” Her grin is wolfish and you inwardly snarl. 

“Technically, I didn’t drink,” you point out. She raises an eyebrow at you. You slump down. “Please don’t tell him.” Your voice is soft, but pleading. She finally takes off the paper towel and assesses the damage to your leg. The cuts don’t look that deep. You doubt you’ll need stitches. 

“Let me get some bandaids and then we’ll talk.” She leaves the room and you quickly bolt outside, where Wanda is still lounging in the pool. 

“There you are!” she exclaims. 

“You gotta go,” you hiss urgently. “Agatha’s here and she already caught me but I don’t want you to get in trouble.” At the mention of your stepmom, Wanda jumps out of the pool, frantically throwing on her clothes. 

“I knew we shouldn’t have cut class!”

“It’s a bit too late for that now, Wanda.” You root around in your bag for your keys and thrust them into her hand. “Take my car and then I’ll call you when I need you to come pick me up.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes, now go!” You usher her out the gate, sprinting back inside, the sliding glass door closing right as Agatha comes down the stairs. She’s holding a pack of bandaids.

“I’m guessing you also don’t want me to tell your father about your friend?” 

Fuck. “Agatha, please. You can tell him about me but please don’t mention Wanda.” 

She beckons you to follow her back to the counter and she silently smears neosporin over your cuts before bandaging them up. You ignore the way her hands feel on your leg. 

“I won’t tell your father,” she says finally. You breathe a sigh of relief and almost throw your arms around her. “If you clean up the mess you made in the kitchen, and if you let me take you out to dinner tonight.” 

Your brows furrow in confusion. You obviously get the cleaning up part. But the other part..? “Why dinner?”

Agatha smiles and pats your thighs, still close to you. “I want to get to know my step-daughter a little better, darling. And your dad has a dinner thing to go to, so I’m all alone. I won’t tell your dad about your little afternoon escape or dinner. It’ll be our little secret,” she says teasingly, winking at you. Your mouth runs dry. 

“Yeah, dinner sounds good. I need to run to my mom’s house and maybe change my clothes,” you say, also needing to get your car back and take Wanda back to school. You leave that part out though. Her hands, still on your thighs, travel up, closer to your center, and your breath quickens. And then she squeezes and steps back, you missing the warmth of her already. She offers you a hand and helps you get down from the counter. “Pick me up at 6?” you ask.

She smiles and nods. “It’s a date.”