#this was actually the first thing ive ever written for skz

[astraystayyh]

chan x reader. hurt and lots of comfort. description of an anxiety attack and its aftermath (based on my own experiences).

please consider donating for gaza through my kofi. we have exceeded 1k dollars and our goal is 1500! a little goes a long way, you can donate as much as you can! thank you

If you remain still long enough, breathe as quietly as you can muster, would the world forget you exist and pass your anxiety along to somebody else?

A selfish question, perhaps, but one that you can’t help but ask as you sit on your freezing bathroom floor, knees tightly hugged to your chest.

You don’t know how long it’s been since you’ve sat in this position. Time suddenly seemed elusive to you, as if a concept too hard for your frantic heart to grasp. All you knew was the ache of your limbs and the feeling that doom was just around the corner.

It was one of those days where you woke up feeling anxious. As if your brain had made up its mind about you in your sleep, deciding to hold you hostage to your anxiety. The bed was cold, your boyfriend Chan long gone to his studio, his lingering cologne the only indication he was ever there. So, you tried to distract yourself throughout the day— going on a walk, listening to music, cleaning your house, but it didn't help. Nothing seemed to help you.

So here you were, hours later, sat on your bathroom floor, trying to calm yourself down, all alone. But you could tell that it wasn't working, that you were on a losing race against your own body. Soon, you wouldn't be able to control your anxiety, soon it would turn into a full blown attack.

You wanted to call Chan, you truly did, but he was busy, and you refused to be a burden. Especially since he told you through texts that he'd be home late, so that definitely meant that he was making a new track in his studio.

So, you settled on rocking yourself back and forth, your hands slowly moving up to your shoulders, patting yourself down. This is what you used to do before knowing Chan. When you didn't have anyone around you who understood. You’d trick your bruised mind into believing you were hugged, the warmth of your own touch easing your anxiety a little.

But tonight it had the opposite effect. Tonight, you broke down in sobs, your breathing more irregular than ever. You curled into a ball on the floor, your hand moving to your chest in a futile attempt to slow down your heart. You could no longer breathe, the air in your lungs morphing into unkind fingers, choking you from within. White dots started dancing in front of your eyes, as your entire being shook like a lone leaf, left to fend for itself before the unyielding winds.

It suddenly got too much— the sobs, the pain, the ache. You couldn't bare it anymore. So with trembling hands, you unlocked your phone, calling the only person who would be able to calm you down. Chan. You put the phone on speaker, before tossing it on the ground next to you. You couldn't even muster the energy to hold it to your ear.

“Hi my love, I'm a bit busy right now can I call you later?” Chan's rushed words ring through the bathroom, your anxiety intensifying before the possible antidote. “Honey?” he asks again when he doesn’t hear your reply.

“Chan—“ you sob, the only word your weighted tongue allows you to speak of.

“I’m here, I'm here baby. I'm coming right now,” his panicked voice rings through your ears, following the frantic rush of your boiling blood. The sound of shuffling indicates that he’s getting up and leaving the studio, the confused ‘what’s going on?’ Han shouts confirms it.

The only reply you give him is your sobs, and his heart constricts, twists and turns at the sound of your cries. “Hey, hey, sweetheart. It’s okay, you’re okay. Breathe for me, okay? Take a deep breath with me, please—” his voice breaks, “please baby.”

You try, with all your will, to force a steady breath to rise from your stomach to the tip of your tongue. It escapes faintly, but Chan catches it. “You’re doing well, baby. Fuck—” he turns on his car’s engine. “Um… Minho bit my ass today.”

His words catch you off guard, the gears in your mind stopping for a split second. You remember a faint conversation under your covers, months ago, when you told him that distractions help you when you’re anxious. Force you to redirect your thinking somewhere else.

He remembered.

“Was it tasty?” you breathe out, and he chuckles, a sweet sound intermingled with a sigh of relief. “I don’t know, I need to ask him baby.”

You nod though he can’t see you, willing yourself to breathe again. In, out, in, out, Chan’s own breathing guiding you. “Should I bite him in return?” he asks. Tears pool in your eyes once again. “I’m close, so close,” he reassures.

“Okay.”

“To the biting?”

“Mm,” you manage to hum, as you hear the door of your apartment open, Chan's hurried steps echoing in your home. You knew he was looking for you but you couldn't call out to him. After painfully long seconds, stretching out as if to torture you even more, he finally opens the bathroom floor.

He finally finds you.

“It's okay, I'm here. I'm here,” he wastes no time before scooping you into his arms and hugging you. He knows that the pressure eases your anxiety so he tightens his hold without you having to say so, pulling you as close as two pages of the same book.

With you on his lap, he starts rocking back and forth, his words coming out a jumble mess. He can’t settle on what to say to you, switching between stupid jokes his friends told him, and words of reassurance he repeats like a promise.

His words break, his tongue faltering each time your sob gets louder, but he speaks. He speaks and speaks for twenty minutes, all to distract you, all to keep you grounded, and safe.

After a long while, the storm finally passes, leaving behind an excruciating exhaustion. You turn into a puddle in his hold, softening like malleable clay. He holds you as gently as a porcelain vase.

His warm palms settle atop your cheeks, his eyes gazing into yours for the first time since he got here. A sheen glaze taints them, one you know is mirrored in your own. His thumbs gently swipe away your remaining tears, grazing your face with a tenderness that makes your being ache. Your lips press a faint kiss onto his palm, his find their way to your forehead, and you feel it all, through his kiss. His fear, his relief, his love, soft and gentle, for you.

“Thank you,” you whisper, voice slightly hoarse as you kiss his forehead back.

“I’ve got you my love. Always,” he smiles at you softly, his dimples appearing like the sun after a cold day.

“Did Minho really bite you?” you giggle faintly, and he scratches his ear sheepishly. “No, but I don’t put it past him to do it.”

“Is that something you’re into?” You cock a teasing eyebrow at him, and he shakes his head, his tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek. “Only if it’s you,” he says as he wraps his arm around your waist, picking you up swiftly.

“I’ll consider,” you yawn, wrapping your arms around his neck, your face finding a refuge in the crook of his neck.

“Why thank you,” he smiles as he leads you to your bedroom, settling you gently atop the bed. He quickly climbs in with you, bringing you so close to him, his warmth ends up spreading through your entire being, filling up every nook and cranny of your soul.

“I think as long as you’re near, I’ll always be okay,” you say, as your eyes close slowly, you miss the tender smile that blooms in his face at your words.

“Good thing I exist to be near you, then.”

please consider donating for gaza through my kofi. we have exceeded 1k dollars and our goal is 1500! a little goes a long way, you can donate as much as you can! thank you

[sunsetlixie]

Take Care of You- Felix/reader smut

Felix wants to try being dominated, and you’re more than willing to indulge.

sub!felix and dom!female reader

word count: 4,759

warnings: none? just typical smut things (language, generally dirty shit) and also this isn’t really a warning but Felix has a mommy kink in this lol

A/N- this is my first time ever posting on tumblr so the layout may be kind of weird?? this is also the first skz smut ive written so hopefully it isn’t terrible!! also i’m thinking about turning this into a multiple part thing if people actually like it!!

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。

Felix had gotten done with a long day at the studio and he was in a weird mood. You two were lying in bed watching a show, and Felix was cuddled up to your side, playing with one of your hands distractedly. Now, your boyfriend was always very affectionate, even with his friends. That’s just who he is, he enjoys physical contact with people. But tonight he was being downright clingy. From the second he got home he was all over you, hugging you from behind in the kitchen while you made dinner, following you everywhere you went, sitting right next to you on the floor while you worked on school work at your desk. Now that you’d settled in for the night, he was trying to be as close to you as possible, every time you shifted positions he’d go with you so you kept touching. Now he readjusted himself so his head was on your chest and one of his legs was thrown over yours, and you sighed as he nuzzled his head into your chest, obviously wanting your attention.

“What’s up tonight Lix?” you asked, bringing a hand up to run it through his hair. You felt him shiver as you pushed your hand through his blonde locks, and he shut his eyes for a moment.

“What do you mean?” he asked quietly.

“You’re being very...affectionate tonight, more than usual.”

“I just want to be close to you,” he said, opening his eyes again and looking up at you. You smiled back at him when you saw his cute little face, his cheeks slightly red and his hair disheveled from you messing with it.

“Okay, just making sure nothing’s wrong,” you said, leaning down to rest your head on top of his. Sometimes when Felix was upset, he would be extra cuddly and clingy.

“Nope, nothing’s wrong,” he said, turning his attention back to the tv. You weren’t convinced though, because after a while you were starting to notice Felix getting fidgety, shifting his position frequently and squirming a bit. You noticed his discomfort and thought for a second that maybe he wasn’t feeling well, which made you worry again that something was wrong.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’re acting a little strange,” you said, turning down the tv and looking down at your boyfriend. Felix brought a hand up to wipe tiredly at his eyes, shaking his head.

“I’m fine, I just,” he started, ending his sentence with a sigh.

“Just what? Did something happen today?” you asked worriedly.

“No! No, today was fine.”

“Then why are you upset?”

“I’m not upset, y/n, it’s just,” he started, looking away from you. You grabbed his hand to reassure him. “I just wanted to talk to you about something,” he said quietly. You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Why didn’t you just say so?” you asked.

“Well it’s kind of...it’s kind of embarrassing,” he admitted, bringing his hands up to hide his face.

“What do you mean?” you asked, reaching up and pulling his hands off of his reddening face.

“I don’t know, it’s just embarrassing to talk about,” he said, shifting uncomfortably.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed talking to me about anything, baby, I’m not going to judge you.” you said gently.

“I know, it’s just...I don’t want you to think I’m weird,” he said.

“You’re starting to freak me out, just tell me.” you laughed. Felix smiled nervously.

“I saw something and I want to try it,” he said, playing with his hands anxiously.

“What was it?” you asked. He bit his lip and looked down at his hands.

“Well it was a video, like a...you know,” he said. You smiled at his confession, he was so cute when he was nervous.

“What did the people in the video do?” you asked quietly, looking at him as he continued not making eye contact.

“Ugh, I hate talking about this, it’s so embarrassing,” he said, yet again burying his head in his hands.

“Why don’t you show me the video?” you asked. Felix’s eyes widened.

“You mean like, we watch it together?” he asked. You nodded.

“How am I supposed to know what they did in the video if I haven’t seen it?”

“O-okay,” Felix said, reaching over and grabbing his phone off the bedside table. Anticipation rose in your chest as he opened his browser and typed in the url to a very nsfw website. He eyed you nervously as the website loaded and you nodded to him, telling him it was okay to continue. He typed in a few words and pulled up a video titled “mommy takes care of her baby boy.” Your eyes widened in shock at the title, it was not at all what you were expecting him to pull up. Felix noticed your expression and threw his phone down on the bed, bringing his hands back up to cover his face in embarrassment.

“I knew you were going to think it’s weird. Forget about it, nevermind,” he mumbled, his voice muffled by his hands. You reached up and pulled his hands away from his face, not wanting him to feel embarrassed asking you to try something new.

“Hey. Look at me,” you said gently, tilting his chin so he was looking you in the eye. “I don’t think it’s weird. I never said that. I was just surprised is all. If this is something that you really want to try then I’m more than willing to try it with you,” you assured him. He swallowed harshly and broke eye contact again.

“I don’t know, this is so awkward, y/n. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“I’ve told you before, anything you want to try is fine with me. I don’t want you to be embarrassed about what you’re into.” You reached over and grabbed his phone off the bed, the video still on the screen. You looked at Felix, asking silent permission to press play. He gave a small nod and you tapped the screen to play the video, holding the phone so both of you could see. It began pretty slow, and you tried to pay close attention to everything happening in the video so you knew exactly what your boyfriend wanted from you. In the video the girl was in control, which was something new. Usually sex with Felix was pretty tame, neither of you were more dominant or submissive, it kind of just happened. The idea of being a dom both scared you and thrilled you, making your chest tight with anxiety and excitement. The girl in the video worked slowly and teasingly, making her sub whine underneath her. The idea of having that control over Felix awoke something inside you that you’d never felt before, and you were suddenly so so glad that he brought this up. Felix again looked at you nervously out of the corner of his eye. You didn’t look back, too busy observing what was happening in the video. The way that the sub was squirming and begging by the end of the video made you feel something indescribable. You mindlessly trailed your hand up and down your boyfriend’s thigh as you watched the video. It should have felt awkward to just sit and watch that with him, but you were so encapsulated by what was happening in the video that it didn’t feel weird at all. You finally looked over at Felix towards the end and saw how red his face was, his hands shoved between his thighs and his eyes focused on the screen in front of you. He looked up from the video for a second, making quick eye contact before diverting his eyes again.

“I never knew you were into this kind of thing, Lix” you said in a low voice.

“I honestly didn’t know either until I saw this video and then I couldn’t stop imagining she was you,” he admitted. You smiled at his words, looking back to the video just as it was ending. You closed out the app and set his phone down, tightening your grip on his thigh.

“I don’t know anything about this so I might not be very great at it,” you warned him.

“I’m just so happy that you’re willing to try it, y/n, I don’t even care,” he promised. You smiled and shifted your position so you could look your boyfriend in the eyes, nervous energy building up inside you. You reached up and brushed Felix’s hair away from his red face, smirking while holding eye contact with his desperate eyes.

“So you want to be taken care of baby?” you asked, running your fingers through his hair. He leaned into your touch and sighed quietly.

“Yes,” he whispered, cheeks still burning red from embarrassment. You pinched one of his cheeks and he flinched a little.

“I think I can do that,�� you said, trailing your hand from his face down to his chest and tugging at the collar of his shirt. “I’m gonna need you to take this off for me,” you said. He nodded and hastily sat up to pull the shirt over his head. You sat back for a moment and admired his body, his flat stomach and small frame glowing in the light.

“You’re staring,” he giggled, crossing his arms over his chest. You shook your head and reached out to grab one of his arms and pull it away from his chest.

“You’re just so pretty, let me look at you,” you cooed. He blushed as he set his arms to his sides and looked away.

“Why are you being shy? It’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” you questioned.

“Just feels different, I dont know,” Felix replied, shifting his position.

“Relax, baby. Let me take care of you.” You scooted closer to your boyfriend so you were in front of him and you pushed gently on his shoulders, giving him the hint to lie back on the bed. You watched him fall slowly and smiled at how pretty he looked all laid out for you. You sat next to him and ran a hand over the expanse of his chest, sending shivers through his body with your gentle touch. Your hand grazed lightly over his sensitive nipples and he arched his back, leaning into your touch. You knew this was a weak spot for your boyfriend, and you were going to use that to your advantage. You ran your hand back over the spot, lightly squeezing one of the buds between your fingers as Felix let out a soft whine. You were already enjoying the feeling of having him squirm under your touch, and you think you could definitely get used to this. You slowly leaned down and licked gently over one of his nipples, pulling away and blowing air on the spot you had just wet. Your boyfriend shivered at the cold sensation and you smiled at the look of lust and frustration building up in his face. You were never this slow with him and you knew it was killing him. You repeated your actions on the other nipple and then lightly bit down on the sensitive skin, causing Felix to let out a surprised “oh!” that quickly turned into a soft moan. You moved your lips again, kissing up his chest and onto his neck, before you swung a leg over him so you were straddling his lying body. You sat on his lower stomach, paying no attention to the buldge in his pants. He slightly shifted his hips up, looking for friction, but you weren’t giving it to him yet, you were making him wait. You leaned down and continued kissing up his neck, sucking a mark behind his ear.

“Y/nnnnn... you can’t do that,” Felix said, shifting away from where your mouth met his neck.

“Why not?” you asked innocently, although you already knew that he got shy about the boys seeing him marked up.

“Don’t want people to see...embarrassing,” he whined. You leaned down and brushed your lips against his ear, whispering in a low tone.

“You don’t want people to know who you belong to? You don’t want them to know that you’re here, lying down for me and letting me have my way with you?” you teased. Felix groaned at your words as you moved down, sucking another mark below his collarbone. You’d done this before, so you knew he wasn’t actually going to get upset- you would never do anything he wasn’t okay with. Felix’s breathing grew ragged, inhaling shaky breaths and exhaling quiet whines. The little noises he was making were turning you on incredibly, and part of you wanted to stop the teasing and just go at it. But this is how they did it in the video, and Felix seemed to be enjoying it, so you continued. You continued to leave wet kisses up and down his neck and chest area, moving up to his face but avoiding his lips. He bit down on his bottom lip, and you could tell he was trying really hard to hold himself back and be patient. You decided to reward him, finally pressing your lips to his. He relaxed into the kiss and immediately tried to push his tongue into your mouth, causing you to pull away for a moment.

“Eager, are we?” you smirked. He whined again at the loss of contact.

“You’re teasing,” he said, a small pout forming on his face.

“I get to do that, baby, I’m in charge,” you said, trailing a finger down his chest. “Isn’t this what you wanted?” you smiled sweetly.

“Can you please just kiss me?” he asked, his tone desperate and slightly bratty. You raised an eyebrow at his sudden change in behavior.

“I will this time, but cut the attitude in the future.” Felix gulped at your dominant tone but couldn’t reply as you pressed your lips back to his. He let you set the pace this time, and as much as you wanted to go agonizingly slow, at this point you were already too worked up to keep teasing. Deepening the kiss after a moment, you brought a hand up to tug at Felix’s hair, something you’d recently discovered he really enjoyed. He moaned softly into the kiss as you pulled at his blond locks, holding his head in place. Your teeth bit down and dug into his bottom lip gently, enough to draw a quiet moan from his mouth but not enough to draw blood. You pulled away, a string of saliva hanging between your lips. Felix looked up at you, blown out pupils filled with desperation.

“You look so pretty, baby boy,” his hips bucked up at your words, his face growing impossibly redder. “What is it? Do you like it when I tell you you’re pretty? Or when I call you baby boy?” you said, a teasing tone lacing your voice. He mumbled something quietly, but you couldn’t make out what he said. “Speak up Lix, I can’t hear you.”

“B-both,” he whispered. A smile crossed your face as he looked into your eyes longingly. You would never get over how cute he was when he was embarrassed.

“Awe, my baby boy likes to be praised, how cute,” you cooed, tracing your hand down the side of his face. Felix smiled shyly at your words, not breaking eye contact.

“You’ve been so patient for me, baby, do you think it’s time for me to reward you?” you asked. He nodded excitedly, but you weren’t giving him anything unless he used his words. “Words, sweetheart, tell me what you want.”

“Want you to- to reward me, I’ve been good,”

“How should I reward you?”

“Just touch me, please,”

“Touch you where? Here?” you asked, dragging a hand down his chest, which was now burning hot. He shook his head. “Here?” you asked, running your hand over the hickey you had given him, pressing your finger into the darkening bruise. He let out a soft whine but shook his head again.

“You’re going to have to tell me where, I’m not sure what you want.” You said, knowing damn well what he wanted from you but wanting to hear him say it himself. He groaned in frustration but spoke up.

“Down there, please, you know what I want,” he begged.

“Ohhh, you want me to touch you down here?” you asked, scooting down so you were now sitting on his thighs and bringing your fingers to the waistband of his pajama pants. He nodded eagerly as you toyed with the drawstring on the front of his pants.

“Beg.”

His eyes widened nervously at the dominant tone you were taking, it was something he definitely wasn’t used to. But this is what he wanted, so he had to play along.

“Please touch me, I need it, I’ve been so good for you mommy,” your breath hitched at the name, when you’d heard it in the video you thought it was a little weird, but now that it was coming out of Felix’s mouth it was the hottest thing in the world. He noticed your sharp inhale and looked at you worriedly. “Is it...is it okay if I call you that? I won’t if you don’t like it-“ he rambled.

“No baby, I love it. I really do.” you assured him. He smiled in relief as you leaned down to pull at the waistband of his pants. He lifted his hips so you could pull them down, repositioning yourself so you could pull his pants all the way off. His hard cock sprung up and smacked against his stomach, red and already leaking precum.

“So needy for me, aren’t you baby boy?” you said, taking in the sight of his naked body but not touching him yet. The power you felt was exhilarating, Felix fully nude and trembling under you, while you were fully clothed and in control. He nodded and you brought a hand down to his neglected member, but he reached out and stopped you before you could touch him. You raised an eyebrow and he used his other hand to grab at the hem of your shirt.

“Can you take this off? Please, wanna see you,” he asked, tugging gently at your soft cotton shirt. You smiled and reached down to grab the bottom of the shirt, beginning to pull it up over your head.

“Only because you asked so nicely,” you replied, tossing the shirt to the side, your top half now bare as you hadn’t been wearing anything under the shirt. Felix eyed your chest, taking in the sight of your breasts that he loved so much. You thought about continuing to tease him by not letting him touch you, but you thought he’d had enough teasing for tonight. Besides, you were supposed to be taking care of him.

“You want to touch, baby boy?” you asked, already knowing what his response would be.

“Can I?”

“Go ahead,” you gave him permission, leaning forward to give him better access. He reached up and gently caressed your breasts, thumbing over your nipples. You arched your back in response to his touch, slightly grinding down where you were sitting on his legs. This was the first time you had been touched all night, and you hadn’t realized how much your body was aching for release. You didn’t let it go on too long, because tonight was about Felix. You leaned down once more to press a quick kiss to his lips before sitting back up and finally bringing a hand to his member. You slowly wrapped your hand around his girth and began to move it up and down at a teasingly slow pace, Felix arching up into your touch.

“Patience, baby boy,” you said, using your other hand to press his body back down into the mattress. “Let mommy take care of you, okay?” you said. Felix whined again but nodded in compliance, relaxing his body and placing his hands down at his sides. You slid your hand up over his slit, collecting the built up precum and using it as lubricant for your hand. Felix let out soft breathy moans every time you touched the head of his painfully hard dick, and you knew your pace was torturous for him, but you were going to see how long you could keep it up. As you stroked him slowly, you reached your other hand down and dipped it below the waistband of your sweatpants, dying for some relief of your own. Your fingers found their way to your clit and you rubbed slow circles at the same pace as your other hand was moving on Felix’s length.

“You’re so beautiful, seeing you like this made mommy so wet,” you whispered, making eye contact with your boyfriend as you pleasured both of you.

“Want to touch you too,” Felix whined, reaching out a hand towards your sweatpants that you still hadn’t removed. You took the hand off his length and swatted his hand away, as he whimpered at the denial and the loss of contact.

“Not now, baby, this is about you,” you hummed, grabbing his hand and placing it down on his stomach. You put your hand back on his dick, staying at the same pace. You knew it was killing him, but you weren’t going to speed up until he asked you to. The request came sooner than later, though, as Felix almost immediately groaned in an obvious attempt to tell you something was wrong.

“What’s wrong Lixie?” you asked, stopping your hand’s movement. He looked up at you with pleading eyes.

“Need more, faster,” he whined.

“Oh, is this not enough? You need more than what mommy is giving you? Good boys aren’t greedy, you know,” you said, resuming again at the slow pace. Felix’s eyes widened at your words as he scrambled to speak.

“N-No! No, I promise I’m a good boy, it just hurts, I’m sorry,” he pleaded. His voice tugged at your heart, you weren’t actually upset with him, you just wanted to tease him a little more. You suddenly sped up your pace without any warning, and Felix let out a strangled moan at your actions.

“Is this what you want?” you ask, stroking him at a quick pace and occasionally thumbing over his sensitive head. He nods, but you want to hear it.

“I said is this what you want?” you repeat, and he gets the hint.

“Yes mommy, fuck, so good,” he cries, the hand you placed on his stomach moving up to roam over his chest. He looks at you as if asking permission to touch himself, and you nod. His hand ghosts over his nipple before he brings it back and pinches it lightly, rolling the nub between his fingers and clenching his eyes shut. The sight is incredible, you can’t help but stare at the look of bliss and slight frustration on his face as he’s being touched by your hand and his own. You speed the pace of the hand you’re using to pleasure yourself, feeling yourself getting closer to release as you watch Felix bring his other hand to his chest, using both to lightly touch his sensitive nipples. Your hand on Felix stutters as you bring yourself to release, arching your back and moaning lowly. The relief washes over you and you enjoy it for just a moment before remembering the task at hand. You open your eyes to see Felix, eyes wide and staring at your blissed-out expression, mouth slightly open- which gives you an idea. You remove your hand from Felix’s member for a moment, and you also pull the hand that you’d been using on yourself out of your sweatpants, feeling Felix’s eyes on you as you bring your fluid soaked fingers to his mouth.

“Wanna taste?” you asked. He didn’t even bother to answer, eagerly taking your fingers into his mouth and sucking languidly. His tongue swirled around your digits for a moment as he looked straight into your eyes. You smiled brightly at him, pulling your fingers out of his mouth with a popping sound.

“Good boy,” you cooed, wiping the wet fingers on your sweatpants and leaning down to gently place a kiss on Felix’s forehead. “Now it’s all about you, okay? You’ve been so good for me, I think it’s time you get some relief too, do you agree?” you asked, sitting back up in the position you’d previously been in. Felix looked up at you, and you couldn’t help but smile at the look on his face, his naturally innocent appearance corrupted by his swollen lips and lust-blown eyes.

“Yes mommy,” he said, swallowing hard as you moved down in between his legs so you could lean down and give a small lick to the tip of his length. He shivered at the contact after you hadn’t touched him for a while, and you spit into your hand before wrapping it around the base of his dick. you lowered your mouth down onto his length, taking only the head into your mouth at first and sucking lightly. You slowly moved down his length, your hand working the part your mouth couldn’t reach. Felix moaned quietly, covering his mouth with his hand to muffle it. You pulled off of his dick with a lewd popping noise, sitting up to look him in the eye.

“Don’t hold back baby boy, i want to hear how good mommy makes you feel,” you said, and he let out a small whimper. You lowered your head to take him into your mouth again, this time setting a faster pace with your hand and your mouth working at the same time. Felix was overly sensitive from all of the teasing you’d put him through, so you knew he wouldn’t last long. You could really tell by the way he was trying his best to keep from bucking up into your mouth. You occasionally pulled up to suck lightly on just the tip, knowing how sensitive he was there. Felix let out a high pitched whine, signaling to you that he was about to finish, when you remembered how the video had ended. Usually, you would just let Felix finish in your mouth, but you had a different idea.

“Oh fuck, mommy, I’m gonna-“ he started, and you pulled your mouth off of his length, bringing him to his climax with only your hand, letting him spill all over his stomach with a loud strangled moan. Felix came down from his high breathing heavily, eyes closed and hands above his head. You smirked as you used a finger to scoop up the cum from his stomach, and he looked down at you confused for a moment before he realized what you were doing. You brought the finger up to his mouth, parting his lips with your thumb and sliding the digit between them so he could taste himself. This wasn’t something you’d done before, but it was how the video ended, so you thought you’d try it. Felix hummed around your finger as he sucked the liquid off it, swallowing his own fluids. When your finger was clean, you pulled it out of his mouth, again wiping it on your sweatpants and then bringing your hand up to caress Felix’s face before placing a gentle kiss to his swollen lips. You could feel him smile into the kiss before you pulled away, grabbing his discarded shirt and using it to wipe the rest of the cum off his stomach.

“Was that good, baby?” you asked, moving off of his legs so you could cuddle up against his side.

“Holy shit, y/n, that was amazing,” he said, his breathing still heavy and deep.

“I had no idea my baby boy was so kinky,” you teased, Felix’s face flushing red again as it had just calmed down.

“You don’t even know the half of it,” Felix mumbled, causing you to raise an eyebrow and sit up to look him in the eye.

“Really?” you asked. He nodded in response and you got excited just thinking about all the new things you’ll get to try with him. “You’ll have to show me sometime, but for now I think it’s time for you to sleep, you look exhausted,” you said, but by the time you finished your sentence, Felix was already drifting off into sleep.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

no dont apologise! i didnt check until just then so np :)

mmm yeah it is a bit trippy. hehe ITS TRUE THO. yeah sadly i think ur right, and tag blocking is probably a good idea. sometimes smut written well or not in excess is okay but goddamn when its abt 01 line and thats the whole fic... *silently blocks tags*

hehe i do that all the time lol this conversation is carrying on threads from a month ago :) mmm yeah ur probably right sadly, same. HA HE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE and now i have someone to talk to abt them, so thats good! I KNOW felix was actually the one who got me into skz with his iconique gods menu line so i guess i have a soft spot for him. i always tell myself my bias is chan but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess im more whipped than id like to admit. mmm yeah that does make sense dw i hope they do that as well. YES king seungmin hIMSELF. GODDAMNIT DONT GET ME STARTED ON MINHO IN GODS MENU I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS PART OF THE GROUP UNTIL I STARTED GETTING MORE INTO THEM. BITCH (affectionate) THE LINE DISTRIBUTION HAS BEEN UTTER DOG SHIT but *deep breath* its better now so were moving on adn hoping it stays that way. sis same but i may or may not have gone thru a rlly depressed phase and actively sought out the elimination episodes so i could actually force some tears out of my emotionless shell of a heart but what cna you do? lmaoo i feel that irl, binnie deserves more vocal lines. yesss channies accent is rlly prominent then, i think also the way he structures his phrasing? is more english speaking than korean? but yeah i totally get what ur saying. AJKSAL lmao

okay then! im excited for whenever it gets done! (maybe tag me?) ahh the cold shrivelled heart of a dark au writer beats again at the thought of torturing another poor characters very soul (/j) :(( yeah that would suck not being able to see them. ohhh ur on the other hemisphere to me! were just going into spring rn. mmm smth to look forward to! YES you put it into words. they rlly are pretty independent from the company (remember how jyp rejected that other dudes songs after like 3 seconds and then how he was apparently nervous to show the song hed written to chan cos chan was so good at writing hits ahhh sweet revenge) mmmYES we rlly need a mute and remove notifications button for our brains dont we?

YES CORRECT i totally agree. some people jsut dont give it a try, adn assume its bad cos its korean smh racist assholes. yes! im coming up to my 6 month anniv actually! sis sAME, i feel like theyre being tugged into appealing to the western american market and theyre not staying as true to their artistic flair as a group, especially with only writing english songs atm. *sigh* ah well, at least theyre bringing recognition to the kpop world. AHUH dead on, theyre going to be discarded pretty soon and then where will bp be? theyll prob go solo paths which is rlly sad but what can you do when the company is run by a prideful asshole? yg is not going to last much longer in the big four if they keep this up.

hehe you get it. oooh very cool! whos ur ult? (sorry if youve said this before) mmmm yeah good decision, i feel liek thats probably a wise decision. this is my first album release as a kpop stan (not counting mixtape oh) so i think ill get it for sentiments sake. yeah! im excited for the new music! mingi was the one who got me into them, but atm my bias is seonghwa followed by san, wooyoung and ateez but jonghos high notes man *swoon* he, yeah atm ive got jake, jay, nikki, jungwon and sunoo down so just trying to get the rest :) heh, yeah kard i rlly only got into cos of bm, ive seen him like interacting with a lot of idols and he seemed nice so i decided to check out the group. ikr gunshot man *another swoon*

no noe! i didnt know what it was until i got it lol. thx toffee ill try and take that to mind :) yeah lol im on a waiting list thats not going to be free until late september so hopefully i can hold on until then. hope ur okay, that sounds like it sucks, hope you can find someone. maybe ill just take you along on my phone and the therapist can get a two for one patient deal lmaooo. mmm, sorry no i havent mentioned it before, i dont rlly talk abt it much. uhhh basically hypermobility? if you google it, it doesnt seem bad, jsut joint flexibility but ive got the severe end of the stick, leaning towards ehlers danlos syndrome so thats fun. basically it just makes it hard for me to exercise, run, jump, stand or just walk for long periods of time and gives me a lot of joint and muscle pain so... thats fun! but obviously so many other people have it worse than me, so i try not to complain. normally in young people it will improve as they get older, but my doctor said bc its severe in me, its unlikely to get much better. but again, i dont have the worst lot in the bunch, so its all g.

oh its good that its not the bad type of rain, a light sprinkling can be relaxing sometimes. aww thx darl, the concern is appreciated but it went pretty well and i managed not to cough too much on stage or kill myself trying to run around to the other side of the stage in the pouring rain so thats good! oooh tea buddies! my dogs a labradoodle, but shes a bit more of a feral poodle lol not much labrador in her at all, unless its her relentless urge to hunt down every bird that has ever walked this earth smh :((( hopefully they can come back on soon, does uni have dances?

ahhh a mood if i ever heard one. hopefully things will get better for you soon, ik anxiety sucks ass. ooh thats always good! when its sunny here, its always melt ur thongs to the pavement hot so the nicely cool sunny days are a lovely change. hehe impatience is not so good for you, but good for us that get to see ur beautiful theme early. ahh no worries, itll come eventually hopefully. and if not, then just things that make you not anxious are good. it doesnt have to be black or white, sometimes gray is good. mmmmm sames i have midterms this week to catch up on and then two weeks of end of terms so thats fun! i hope u can overcome that a little, heres some channie to be ur motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8LWyNjzOww. hah! i hear that all the time, he seems to be everywhere. did you see that tiktok of hans slowed back door rap, i stg it sounded EXACTLY like namjoon, it kinda scared me. also teh beginning of another day, sounds so much like joon i swear.

that reminds me! idk ur biases! i feel like this should be smth i should know so please! feel free to elaborate!

ahh im glad, i was worried it is. mmm same, so no hard feelings if either of us misses a day or smth. ill start worrying if weeks/months have gone by, but if its just a little while thats more than fine. ill just picture you studiously completing notes and i wont worry lol

<3 w.a. 🐺

at some point i really think i'm going to start blocking accounts because blocking tags won't be enough. i saw ask tags the other day and it just made me want to bleach my eyeballs.

i could talk about god's menu felix for hours man. the teaser for god's menu that featured his part on the bridge made me look forward to the mv release. you: biases chan, also you: lixiesbabyhands. yes you are more whipped than you think. i can't believe orange haired minho was given NOTHING during that era but they kind of made up for it in the b-sides. i also hope it stays that way. the distribution for this era was pretty fair.

"torturing another poor character's soul" in all honesty, i used to live for this. 2017 me leading up to early 2020 wrote nothing but angst. i have another aussie friend on twt and tbh i'm still really (O.o) about the seasons! jyp should be terrified skz could easily take over that company. heck if skz grow old and start their own company, they'd probably do a great job at running it. PLEASE. i have issues on muting/notifications both mentally and in real life. sometimes, i just wish to disappear.

some people in my country are just disgusting tbh. not only racist but homophobic too. they label kpop as 'gay' and it DISGUSTS me. it's a problematic behavior/mindset people in my country need to fucking get rid of. anyway, HELP ME 6 MONTHS??? and i've been in this shit for like a decade eye. tbh, i’m not fond of kpop groups trying to appeal to the western audience :// it feels like they’re losing their identity in a way. yes recognition but at what cost? yg has my favorite groups but that’s one shitty company when it comes to promoting.

okay my ult! it’s haechan from nct but i consider chan an ult too. like a close second above my whopping list of kpop boys. oh yes! you should get the album just for like a keepsake? remembrance? how did mingi appeal to you? omg did you start getting interested in ateez back when he was still on hiatus? NOT YOU BIASING THE SAME PEOPLE I DID WHEN I FIRST STARTED STANNING. the infamous ateez thot-line. jongho is easily one of the best fourth gen vocalists out here, no one can change my mind :( good luck with memorizing the rest of enhypen! just in time for the comeback too. i hope i’ll get into kard soon but i’m pretty content (and a tad bit overwhelmed) with the amount of groups i stan right now.

please hold on though, feel free to vent here if you like. thanks for the offer tho HAHA but like i’ll try to get checked here too when the cases die down a bit. i’m sorry to hear about your condition though :( please don’t ever overwork yourself to the point that your joints/muscles would ache. it’s completely valid to complain about it tho. i get that you have others in mind but keeping that mindset really doesn’t do you (like you internally) any better? so if you need to, vent your frustrations out and don’t keep it in.

oh my god, about your performance last sunday. was the stage out in the open? glad you didn’t cough too much and did well on your concert. i’m proud of you! i can never understand dogs and poor birds T_T uni doesn’t have dances unfortunately. i think there’s just one party at the end like a graduation ball. what year are you in anyway? if it’s something that you’re fine with sharing. if not, it’s cool.

good luck with your exams! and thanks for the link! AHA what a cutie. i think he does this motivation thing once in a while during his lives and it’s just comforting. yeah joon and han my irl just freaked when we made that discovery. ult crumbs for her. oh god not me forgetting about every biases when you asked. you can ask for my biases in a few groups just list down the one’s you’re interested in knowing. 

i missed yesterday because i was grinding and finishing what if we stay + school work. finally did it today. i’m sure i’ll reply in like a day or two, definitely not a month unless i state otherwise. if i ever decide to abandon this blog, i’ll let you know.