#I hate using it sometimes but it’s easier than transferring all my stuff to my laptop to edit- PLEAASSEEE IM LAZY

[bloos-bloo]

I’ll take any excuse to draw my Narinder and his endless pile of unwanted emotions. YIPPEEE

I’m gonna add a little bit of lore under the cut :D

In my AU, Narinder’s crown never spoke to him. The other crowns spoke to their users, but the red crown refused. It would sometimes open its eye whenever Narinder had strong emotions or when he was in his domain, but nothing else from that. It’s kinda why Narinder believed he chose the wrong domain.

He begins to question himself, maybe he has to rediscover? Branch out? Hell- Even Leshy had his crown working with him before his induction ceremony. (He’s older?? How the fuck??)

Narinder’s jealousy got in the way of him bonding with the crown and took away from him figuring out his ruling. When Emery gets it, it obviously takes them a while to start speaking with the crown. (even with their vocal cords being shattered, the beginning of the cult was very rough- using sign language to talk sucked sometimes) The difference between them is the fact that Emery didn’t start questioning her role, Narinder did.

At least he believes so, maybe the crown never picked him? Who knows.

I wanna write more- but it’s spoilers ;)

[thefoxtrot008]

Dialogue Prompts

Alright, you guys. Here is part 6 of the prompts! No specific category for this one, though, but it is kinda long. So, enjoy! :)

"Let me do it this time." "Absolutely not." "You got to do the illegal stuff last time, why can't I do it this time?!"

"Shit. I got shot." "Good thing my dress matches my blood. It can blend in easier."

"There's a pair of tweezers in the bag there."

"I'm going to call it now."

"What's wrong with my outfit?"

"I'm sorry, I thought the whole point of being here was to not draw attention to ourselves?!"

"I haven't told them about the transfer yet..."

"Don't be rude. We'd love to come over."

"Well, whatever you do, don't rule that option out completely."

"I didn't know you could pull off moves like that."

"Um, that's the point. Gotta blend in."

"Yea, for my sake, don't tell anyone."

"I'm pissed okay?! That was a totally bust job, we got nothing accomplished!"

"Is that what you think of me?"

"Good! We never wanted you on our team anyway! You've been slowing us down, since day freaking one!"

"Guys, can we not fight?"

"Fine, then. Give me the keys." "I still think we should talk about this more-" "Keys. NOW!"

"Great. Now you've pissed her off!"

"I'm sorry, alright. You were right. I was out of line."

"You have my permission. Sign then."

"I thought this was what you wanted?"

"Take a deep breath. On the count of three."

"The stitches came out."

"Oh, come on. Don't be like that." "Don't be like what?" "You know what I mean." "Well, clearly, I don't."

"Since when did you know how to do this?"

"Do you really want to cause a scene right now?" "Yes, I want to cause a scene right now! How about this, you are so stubborn and so annoying!"

"You are both under arrest."

"She does have a point." "Who's side are you on?"

"Let. Go. Of. Me."

"No, I don't want to hear it. We told you this would happen didn't we? And you, didn't listen!"

"Yea, can we not go to prison? That would be great."

"Tell him I said hi."

"I don't like this anymore than you do."

"We have no other choice."

"So, who's fault is that? Because I'm not cleaning this mess up."

"You said this about her? No wonder she wants to transfer."

"I don't think this is a good idea."

"They'd look so cute together.... We should set them up."

"You really think that he kept the letters after all this time?"

"Long time no see!"

"Can you watch him for a second? I'll be back."

"I'm honestly surprised that you didn't know that fact."

"Noice. Let's go." *fist bump*

"We should wear a type of disguise. So, we don't get caught."

"Turn it around... be careful."

"We're so close, I can feel it."

"So, the best option is to split up. You. You're coming with me."

"Yes, that would be a big problem if that happened."

"They've found the car."

"My drill broke!"

"Take the frame, we're going to have to take it apart in the elevator."

"You're not the only one."

"I hate him with every fiber of my being."

"This is between the three of us. Nobody needs to get hurt here."

"I don't think you understand the situation here. I'm holding all the cards and yet, you're trying to negotiate with me."

"You can have all the treasure, just let us go!"

"Mmm... I don't think I will. See, you have another clue."

"I don't... I'm out."

"Let's give it some finishing touches."

"We have to go inside."

"I don't think that we have to go somewhere else, I think it's still here."

"But where?"

"Give a little warning next time, before you do that."

"All tunnels have to end, eventually."

"I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"What's happening here? You gave them a fake clue." "We had to buy ourselves sometime."

"It's not what I thought it would be."

"Please, don't break. Please don't break!"

"Um... because you're the bad guy?"

"I've found door number three.... And I'm gonna take it."

"I'm not doing anything else for you unless you answer my questions."

"But it gives me more time to spend with you!"

"Did you guys not read my book?" "I have! I've read it! More than twice!" *whispers* "I think I'm your biggest fan, babe." "Not gonna lie, you definitely are."

"I'm going to run this red light!"

"Watch the people!" "I don't think we're supposed to be going down this way."

"He's right behind me! Where else do you want me to go?!"

"They're right on their way, right now, and I'd guarantee they'd love to meet you too."

"That was hot." "Aw, thanks, babe."

"Fine. But your henchmen stay behind. It's just you." "What makes you think that I'm gonna agree to those terms?"

"Go! I'll meet you at the car." "How do they expect to meet us there?!"

"It's going to take forever to dig these rocks out of the way."

"DON'T LET GO OF MY HAND!"

"You demolished my family name for this?"

"Alright. That's it! I'm going to deck the living shit out of you!"

"It comes in a series."

"Didn't... didn't they get married?"

"I'll stay! I'll stay behind, look! I'm staying."

"So, you won't tell me the way out, unless I give you what you want?" "The way out is through that tunnel there." "Why are you doing this?"

"I can't help you, unless you find what you're looking for." "I won't let you down, sir."

"I'm telling you exactly what it says."

"Alright, you're the only one who knows. Indulge us. What's the next clue?" "You think I'm gonna give that up so easily?"

"Yes, thank you, for clearing that up."

"The wall closed behind us and trapped us in." *touching the wall* "There has to be a way out!"

"I'm in. If you are, that is."

"No hesitation, okay?" "Right. It'll run the whole plan."

"How exactly do you expect us to pull this off?"

"There's only one way now: forward."

______________________________________________________________

And that's all folks! :)

[shepard-ram]

💐 holy shit what if. yandere mafia!SBI. am i just really into the general mafia aesthetic? yes but also it’s swag so i am not in the wrong here

like for all my fellow people in high school: maybe teachers who seemed to hate you before start... trembling when you get to class? it’s almost like they’re afraid to say something wrong, but you assume someone spilled their former attitude to the principal. but that’s not all - bullies almost seem to avoid you, whether they used to target you or not, which is also weird, but you’re not complaining. you don’t realize that it all coincided with the arrival of that new transfer student - what was his name again? it started with a T or something like that, you think.

or maybe you’re already out on your own, and you wake up to find that your rent and debts have been paid by a mysterious benefactor: W.S. sometimes they mail you expensive gifts or love letters, and sure, you were afraid at first, but it makes your life a lot easier not to have to worry about money.

maybe, instead, you work at some kind of minimum wage job, the type where everyone is an asshole because they see you as a servant. maybe your boss snaps at you one too many times, and ends up coming in the next day covered in bruises and practically begging for your forgiveness. it doesn’t stop there. customers who are rude to you never come back in again, and sometimes you even see their faces on the news, reporting them missing or murdered. when you walk alone at night, people steer clear of your path. is it possible to be terrified, even when you’re safe?

alternatively; Philza Minecraft just. snatches you. nobody tells the mafia boss what to do *sax solo*

MMMMM GOOD STUFF

A some boys raised in such an influential and and dangerous family would have no problem using some of that power to make sure their little crush was doing well. While you are rightfully scared about a stalker who could deny that having everyone and anything that causes you an inconvenience suddenly disappear is a little nice. And yes if they really wanted to they could just take you with no trouble, they have more than enough experience to cover it up

[kmclaude]

Forgive me Father, I have no awful headcanons for you, only a general question on comic making. How do you do it, writing-wise/how do you decide what points go where, how do you plot it out (or do you have any resources on the writing aspect that you find useful?) Not to get too bogged down in details, but I attended a writer’s workshop and the author in residence suggested I transfer my wordy sci-fi WIP into graphic novel script, as it might work better. (I do draw, but I don’t know if I have it in me to draw a whole comic—characters in motion? Doing things? With backgrounds? How dare, why can’t everyone just stand around looking pretty)

I was interested but it quickly turned into a lot of internal screaming as I tried to figure out how to compress the hell out of it, since novels are free to do a lot more internal monologuing and such compared to a comic format (to say nothing of trying to write a script without seeing how the panels lay out—just for my own sake, I might have to do both concurrently.)

As an aside, to get a feel for graphic novels I was rereading 99RM and was reminded of how great it was—tightly plotted, intriguing, and anything to do with Ashmedai was just beautifully drawn. I need more Monsignor Tiefer and something something there are parallels between Jehan and Daniel in my head and I don’t know if they make sense but it works for me. (As an aside, I liked the emphasis on atonement being more than just the word sorry, but acknowledgment you did wrong and an attempt to remedy it—I don’t know why that spoke to me the way that it did.)

I thought Tumblr had a word count limit for asks but so far it has offered zero resistance, oh well. I don’t have much else to say but on the topic of 99RM, Adam getting under Monsignor’s skin is amazing, 10/10 (about the Pride picture earlier)

wow tumblr got rid of the markdown editor! or at least in asks which means the new editor probably has no markdown....god i hate this site! anyway...

Totally! So first, giant thank you for the compliments! Second, I have a few questions in turn for you before I dive into a sort of answer, since I can give some advice to your questions in general but it also sounds like you have a specific conundrum on your hands.

My questions to your specific situation are:

did the author give any reason for recommending a, in your words, "wordy" story be turned into a graphic novel?

is the story you're writing more, like you said, "internal monologuing"? action packed? where do the visuals come from?

do you WANT it to be a comic? furthermore, do you want it to be a comic you then must turn around and draw? or would you be interested in writing for comics as a comic writer to have your words turned into art?

With those questions in mind, let me jump into the questions you posed me!

Let me start with a confession...

I've said this before but let me say it again: Ninety-Nine Righteous Men was not originally a comic — it was a feature-length screenplay! And furthermore, it was written for a class so it got workshopped again and again to tighten the plot by a classroom of other nerds — so as kind as your compliments are, I'm giving credit where credit is due as that was not just a solo ship sailing on the sea. On top of that, it got adapted (by me) into a comic for my thesis, so my advisor also helped me make it translate or "read" well given I was director, actor, set designer, writer, editor, SFX guy, etc. all in one. And it was a huge help to have someone say "there is no way you can go blow by blow from script to comic: you need to make edits!" For instance, two scenes got compressed to simple dialogue overlaid on the splashpage of Ashmedai raping Caleb (with an insert panel of Adam and Daniel talking the next day.) What had been probably at least 5 pages became 1.

Additionally, I don't consider myself a strong plotter. That said, I found learning to write for film made the plotting process finally make some damn sense since the old plot diagram we all got taught in grammar school English never made sense as a reader and definitely made 0 sense as a writer — for me, for some reason, the breakdown of 25-50-25 (approx. 25 pages for act 1, 50 for act 2 split into 2 parts of 25 each, 25 pages for act 3) and the breaking down of the beats (the act turning points, the mid points, the low point) helped give me a structure that just "draw a mountain, rising action, climax is there, figure it out" never did. Maybe the plot diagram is visually too linear when stories have ebb and flow? I don't know. But it never clicked until screenwriting. So that's where I am coming from. YMMV.

I should also state that there's Official Ways To Write Comic Scripts to Be Drawn By An Artist (Especially If You Work For A Real Publisher As a Writer) and there's What Works For You/Your Team. I don't give a rat's ass about the former (and as an artist, I kind of hate panel by panel breakdowns like you see there) so I'm pretty much entirely writing on the latter here. I don't give a good god damn about official ways of doing anything: what works for you to get it done is what matters.

What Goes Where?

Like I said, 99RM was a screenplay so it follows, beat-wise, the 3-act screenplay structure (hell, it's probably more accurate to say it follows the act 1/act 2A/act 2B/act 3 structure.) So there was the story idea or concept that then got applied to those story beats associated with the structure, and from there came the Scene-by-scene Breakdown (or Expanded Scene Breakdown) which basically is an outline of beats broken down into individual scenes in short prose form so you get an overview of what happens, can see pacing, etc. In the resources at the end I put some links that give information on the whole story beat thing.

(As an aside: for all my short comics, I don't bother with all that, frankly. I usually have an image or a concept or a bit of writing — usually dialogue or monologue, sometimes a concrete scene — that I pick at and pick at in a little sketchbook, going back and forth between writing and thumbnail sketches of the page. Or I just go by the seat of my pants and bullshit my way through. Either or. Those in many ways are a bit more like poems, in my mind: they are images, they are snapshots, they are feelings that I'm capturing in a few panels. Think doing mental math rather than writing out geometric proofs, yanno?)

Personally, I tend to lean on dialogue as it comes easier for me (it's probably why I'm so drawn to screenwriting!) so for me, if I were to do another longform GN, I'd probably take my general "uhhhhhh I have an idea and some beats maybe so I guess this should happen this way?" outline and start breaking it down scene by scene (I tend to write down scenes or scene sketches in that "uhhhh?" outline anyway LOL) and then figure out basic dialogue and action beats — in short, I'd kind of do the work of writing a screenplay without necessarily going full screenplay format (though I did find the format gave me an idea of timing/pacing, as 1 page of formatted script is about equal to 1 minute of screentime, and gave me room to sketch thumbnails or make edits on the large margins!) If you're not a monologue/soliloque/dialogue/speech person and more an image and description person, you may lean more into visuals and scenes that cut to each other.

Either way this of course introduces the elephant in the panel: art! How do you choose what to draw?

The answer is, well, it depends! The freedom of comics is if you can imagine it, you can make it happen. You have the freedoms (and audio limitations) of a truly silent film with none of the physical limitations. Your words can move in real time with the images or they can be a narrative related to the scene or they could be nonsequitors entirely! The better question is how do you think? Do you need all the words and action written first before you break down the visuals? Do you need a panel by panel breakdown to be happy, or can you freewheel and translate from word and general outlines to thumbnails? What suits you? I really cannot answer this because I think when it comes to what goes where with regard to art, it's a bit of "how do you process visuals" and also a bit of "who's drawing this?" — effectively, who is the interpreter for the exact thing you are writing? Is it you or someone else? If it's you, would you benefit from a barebones script alongside thumbnailed paneling? Would you be served by a barebones script, then thumbnails, then a new script that includes panel and page breakdowns? What frees you up to do what you need to do to tell your story?

If I'm being honest, I don't necessarily worry about panels or what something will look like necessarily until I'm done writing. I may have an image that I clearly state needs to happen. I may even have a sequence of panels that I want to see and I do indeed sketch that out and make note of it in my script. But exactly how things will be laid out, paneled, situated? That could change up until I've sketched my final pencils in CSP (but I am writer and artist so admittedly I get that luxury.)

How do I compress from novel to comic?

Honest answer? You don't. Not really. You adapt from one to another. It's more a translation. Something that would take forever to write may take 1 page in a comic or may take a whole issue.

I'm going to pick on Victor Hugo. Victor Hugo spent a whole-ass book in Notre-Dame de Paris talking about a bird's eye view of Paris and other medieval architecture boring stuff, with I guess some foreshadowing with Montfaucon. Who cares. Not me. I like story. Anyway. When we translate that book to a movie any of the billion times someone's done that, we don't spend a billion years talking at length about medieval Paris. There's no great monologuing about the gibbet or whatever: you get to have some establishing shots, maybe a musical number, and then you move tf on. Because it's a movie, right? Your visuals are right there. We can see medieval Paris. We can see the cathedral. We can see the gibbet. We don't need a whole book: it's visually right there. Same with a comic: you may need many paragraphs to describe, say, a space station off of Sirius and one panel to show it.

On the flip side, you may take one line, maybe two, to say a character keyed in the special code to activate the holodeck; depending on the visual pacing, that could be a whole page of panels (are we trying to stretch time? slow it down? what are we emphasizing?) A character gives a sigh of relief — one line of text, yeah? That could be a frozen panel while a conversation continues on or that could be two (or more!) panels, similar to the direction [a beat] in screenwriting.

Sorry there's not a super easy answer there to the question of compression: it's a lot more of a tug, a push-pull, that depends on what you're conveying.

So Do I Have It In Me to Write & Draw a GN?

The only way you'll know is by doing. Scary, right? The thing is, you don't necessarily need to be an animation king or God's gift to background artists to draw a comic.

Hell, I hate backgrounds. I still remember sitting across from my friend who said "Claude you really need to draw an establishing exterior of the church at some point" and me being like "why do you hate me specifically" because drawing architecture? Again? I already drew the interior of the church altar ONCE, that should be enough, right? But I did draw an exterior of the church. Sorta. More like the top steeple. Enough to suggest what I needed to suggest to give the audience a better sense of place without me absolutely losing my gourd trying to render something out of my wheelhouse at the time.

And that's kinda the ticket, I think. Not everyone's a master draftsman. Not everyone has all the skills in every area. And regardless, from page one to page one hundred, your skills will improve. That's all part of it — and in the meantime, you should lean into your strengths and cheat where you can.

Do you need to lovingly render a background every single panel? Christ no! Does every little detail need to be drawn out? Sure if you want your hand to fall off. Cheat! Use Sketchup to build models! Use Blender to sculpt forms to paint over! Use CSP Assets for prebuilt models and brushes if you use CSP! Take photographs and manip them! Cheat! Do what you need to do to convey what you need to convey!

For instance, a tip/axiom/"rule" I've seen is one establishing shot per scene minimum and a corollary to that has been include a background once per page minimum as grounding (no we cannot all have eternal floating heads and characters in the void. Unless your comic is set in the void. In which case, you do you.) People ain't out here drawing hyper detailed backgrounds per each tiny panel. The people who DO do that are insane. Or stupid. Or both. Or have no deadline? Either way, someone's gonna have a repetitive stress injury... Save yourself the pain and the headache. Take shortcuts. Save your punches for the big K.O. moments.

Start small. Make an 8-page zine. Tell a beginning, a middle, an end in comic form. Bring a scene to life in a few pages. See what you're comfortable drawing and where you struggle. See where you can lean heavily into your comfort zones. Learn how to lean out of your comfort zone. Learn when it's worth it to do the latter.

Or start large. Technically my first finished comic (that wasn't "a dumb pencil thing I drew in elementary school" or "that 13 volume manga I outlined and only penciled, what, 7 pages of in sixth grade" or "random one page things I draw about my characters on throw up on the interwebz") was 99RM so what do I know. I'm just some guy on the internet.

(That's not self-deprecating, I literally am some guy on the internet talking about my path. A lot of this is gonna come down to you and what vibes with you.)

Resources on writing

Some of these are things that help me and some are things that I crowd-sourced from others. Some of these are going to be screenwriting based, some will be comic based.

Making Comics by Scott McCloud: I think everyone recommends this but I think it is a useful book if you're like "ahh!!! christ!! where do I start!!!???" It very much breaks down the elements of comics and the world they exist in and the principles involved, with the caveat that there are no rules! In fact, I need to re-read it.

Comic Book Design: I picked this up at B&N on a whim and in terms of just getting a bird's eye view of varied ways to tackle layout and paneling? It's such a great resource and reference! I personally recommend it as a way to really get a feel for what can be done.

the screenwriter's bible: this is a book that was used in my class. we also used another book that's escaping me but to be honest, I never read anything in school and that's why I'm so stupid. anyway, I'd say check it out if you want, especially if you start googling screenwriting stuff and it's like 20 billion pieces of advice that make 0 sense -- get the core advice from one place and then go from there.

Drawing Words & Writing Pictures: many people I know recommended this. I think I have it? It may be in storage. So frankly, I'd already read a bunch of books on comics before grabbing this that it kind of felt like a rehash. Which isn't shade on the authors — I personally was just a sort of "girl, I don't need comics 101!!!"

Invisible Ink: A Practical Guide to Building Stories that Resonate: this has been recommended so many times to me. I cannot personally speak on it but I can say I do trust those who rec'd it to me so I am passing it along

the story circle: this is pretty much the hero's journey. a useful way to think of journeys! a homie pretty much swears by it

a primer on beats: quick google search got me this that outlines storybeats

save the cat!: what the above refers to, this gives a more genre-specific breakdown. also wants to sell you on the software but you don't need that.

I hope this helps and please feel free to touch base with more info about your specific situation and hopefully I'll have more applicable answers.

[yeah-all-of-it]

I’ve had this headcanon for awhile now about Ian and Mickey starting a family and since I’m becoming more comfortable with writing, I thought I’d turn it into a fic. Enjoy!

A Life Changing Gift

“Debs, are you sure you understand what you’re offering right now?,” Ian questions, feeling a bit skeptical.

It is Debbie after all. Sometimes she’s perfectly pleasant and reasonable, other times she can be a raging bitch. But, she is his sister and he can’t imagine her offering something this monumental only to renege after they’ve gotten their hopes up. And she’s definitely mellowed out since they didn’t end up selling the house and she didn’t have to find a new place to live.

Ian and Debbie are sitting at the kitchen table in the Gallagher house. She had called him over to look at a cut Franny had gotten playing in the backyard. Wasn’t sure if it needed stitches and thought Ian could use his past medical training to check it out. In reality, it was barely a scratch. Ian should have known at that point Debbie was up to something, especially when she invited him to stay for coffee.

“Ian, I’ve been thinking a long time about this. Came up with the idea months ago but wanted to be completely sure before I said anything,” Debbie explains.

“Yeah, but, Debbie. This is fuckin’ huge. Think about how hard it’ll be on you-“

“I’ve already thought about all that shit, Ian. I’ve been through it before, you know. It’s really not that bad,” Debbie assures him.

Debbie seems sincere. Like she’s really considered every angle, every downside, upside, and in-between. He’s trying to keep his excitement reined in because he still has to convince Mickey that this is a good idea, which could be easier said than done.

“Listen,” Debbie says. “You don’t have to say anything now. Go home, talk it over with Mickey. You can even bring him over here and we can all talk about it if you want. No pressure.”

They both stand from the table and Ian goes to give her a hug.

“Wait, what the fuck are you doing?” Debbie jokes. “Thought you hated me and that we don’t do hugs anymore.” She laughs, and Ian knows she’s remembering how tense things were a year ago when she thought she’d be homeless and alone and she lashed out at all her siblings.

“Would you just fuckin’ come here?” Ian smiles warmly and holds his arms out.

She steps into his embrace and he just holds his little sister. Sometimes he still likes to imagine her as that sweet little girl that was always helping people. Always loving people, sometimes so much she would get hurt. It would kill him to see the tears in her eyes.

Sometimes, he sees glimpses of that caring little girl in the jaded woman she’s become. Like when she pretended to be the bride at his wedding; staying in the kitchen, missing the whole ceremony, just so he and Mickey could get married without any problems from the homophobes at the venue. And now, when she’s offering this selfless and life changing gift to them.

Ian whispers into her hair, hair that’s the same vibrant shade of red as his own, “I don’t even know what to say, Debs. Just… thank you.”

Debbie gives him one more big squeeze before pulling away. “You’re welcome. Now, go home and convince your husband to let me have his baby.”

———

“No fuckin’ way, NO fuckin’ way!” Mickey exclaims. “No way am I bangin’ your little sister.”

Mickey hops up on the counter, takes a long chug of the Old Style in his hand.

“Mick,” Ian sighs, leaning up against the opposite counter. “That’s not how it works. You would basically jerk off in a cup and she’d use a turkey baster, in the privacy of her own room,” he emphasizes,” to… place the sperm where they need to go.”

“Don’t you need like, a doctor or some shit to do that?” Mickey asks incredulously.

“Well, you can use a doctor but it’s expensive. This way is free,” Ian clarifies.

Mickey is clearly churning the idea around in his brain. Finally speaks.

“I thought we were just gonna like, find a fuckin’ kid that didn’t have parents or somethin’.”

“We can do that too, one day. Ya know, if we like the first one enough to do it again,” Ian says lightheartedly, slight grin, trying to calm Mickey.

Ian steps toward Mickey, placing his hips between Mickey’s knees, resting his hands on his thighs, rubbing softly.

Ian continues. “Think about it though, Mick. This baby would be us, you and me. It’s the closest we can get since we don’t exactly have the right stuff to do it on our own. He or she would have your DNA and, through Debbie, a little of mine too.”

Mickey beams at this, wraps his arms around his husband’s shoulders. “It would be kinda fun to have a little version of us runnin’ around,” Mickey admits. “You know a kid that’s part Milkovich and part Gallagher is bound to be a little shit though, right?” Mickey jokes, smiling at the thought.

“Oh, I’m counting on it,” Ian quips, leaning in and planting a sweet kiss on his smiling husband’s lips.

Ian pulls back from the kiss and asks seriously, “So. Do you wanna do this?”

“Yeah. Yeah I do. What about you?” Mickey questions.

“Fuck yeah, I do. Let’s call Debs right now.”

———

“I’ve done a lot of research about this. You guys know it might not work on the first try right? Don’t want you to be frustrated or disappointed if it doesn’t work this month. Doesn’t mean it won’t ever work, but it can take a little time,” Debbie explains.

They are sitting in the Gallagher living room the day they are making their first attempt at insemination.

“Yeah, we know, Debs. Don’t worry,” Ian replies. “We’re not in a hurry.”

“Okay, good. Keeping your expectations reasonable is good,” she says. “I’ve also been tracking my basal body temperature and took an ovulation test, so today is my most fertile da-“

Mickey interrupts, “Thanks, Dr. Gallagher, but we don’t need all the gory details. Now where do I jerk off? Hey Ian, you gonna gimme a hand, man?” Mickey clicks his tongue and bounces his eyebrows playfully.

“Ugh, no gory details, right? Let’s just keep all the personal shit to ourselves okay?” Debbie requests.

“Yeah, this is already awkward enough. Don’t need to make it weirder,” Ian agrees and eyes Mickey scoldingly.

Ian and Mickey are forced to go into the bathroom because Lip and Tami live there now and their old bedroom is now Fred and the baby’s room. They’re not home but it would be uncomfortable seeing Fred’s little toddler bed, his stuffed animal collection staring at them while Mickey gets off. So, bathroom it is.

“Listen, Mickey,” Ian explains. “I’ll help, but we are keeping this clinical. Short and sweet. We can fuck at home later for fun; this needs to be done with a purpose, a goal. Debbie’s waiting.”

“Ugh, Jesus, man, why you gotta bring up Debbie? Doesn’t exactly make this process easier to think of her waiting in her room to squir-“

“Okaaayy, focus Mick,” Ian interrupts before that sentence goes any further.

Ian yanks down Mickey’s pants and gets to work. He knows exactly how Mickey likes it to make him come quickly. It works and Mickey finishes into the bulb of the turkey baster in record time.

Ian wipes off the edges and walks it to Debbie’s room, knocking on the door. She opens it just enough to stick her arm out and Ian places the bulb in her hand. Ian hears her say, “Uh, you guys can go home. I’ll text you later,” and shuts the door.

On their way back to the Westside, Ian’s phone dings. He picks it up and reads the text from Debbie out loud. “Transfer is complete.”

“What now?” Mickey asks.

“We wait,” Ian answers.

———

“It should have worked by now, right?” Mickey asks, an edge of concern in his voice. “I mean, it’s been almost 4 months. What if like, my fuckin’ swimmers don’t work or somethin’?”

Ian tries to calm Mickey down, rubbing his arm that’s slung across Ian’s belly. It’s midnight and they really should be asleep but Mickey’s spiraling over the whole surrogacy thing.

“Mick, this is normal. We knew it could take awhile. There’s no need to freak out yet,” Ian assures. “What’s all this about, anyway? All the worry.”

“Just… I know it took a long time for me to even wanna have kids. Then you had to convince me to do this shit, to be okay with Debbie carrying my baby. Fuck, that still sounds creepy as hell. But anyway, I know I wasn’t on board with everything at first, but now? Ian, I’m so fuckin’ excited to have a baby with you. To be a dad with you. It’s just hard to wait, that’s all. And then I think… what if it doesn’t happen? What if this whole plan just fuckin’ fails? Then what?”

“Then, we come up with another plan,” Ian assures. “I wanna raise kids with you too, Mickey, so fuckin’ much. I wanna give them the childhood we never got to have. I wanna take them to the beach with you, I want us to play blocks on the living room floor, and read bedtime stories together. All that shit. It’ll happen, Mickey. One way or another, we’ll make it happen.”

Ian snuggles Mickey closer, kisses him on the top of the head, and they fall asleep in each other’s arms.

They are woken up by Ian’s obnoxious ringtone at 6:00 am, well before they have to be up for work.

“Who the fuck is calling this goddamn early? Better be fuckin’ important,” Mickey grumbles while rubbing his eyes.

It’s Debbie.

“Hey, Debs!” Ian says with fake cheerfulness, still half asleep. “What’s up?”

“There’s two lines!” she screams on the other end of the phone.

“Okay?” Ian replies.

“There’s TWO lines!” she repeats, emphasizing the word two.

“I don’t know what the fuck that means, Debs. Two lines where?” Ian questions.

“On the pregnancy test, dipshit! It’s positive! I’m pregnant!” she yells.

Ian bolts upright in bed. Mickey grumbles “what the fuck” under his breath, eyes still half closed.

“Holy fuck! It’s positive?” Ian exclaims. “It worked?

Mickey’s up now too. “What the fuck did you just say?”

“Debs! Thank you! I love you! I’ll call you back later!” Ian says, unable to hold in his excitement.

He hangs up the phone. Turns and looks at Mickey. “It worked. She’s pregnant,” Ian practically whispers, unable to believe it. Ian sees tears well up in Mickey’s eyes and, for only the second time Ian has ever witnessed, they spill out onto his cheeks.

———

“Damn, you look like a beached whale, Debbie,” Mickey observes.

Debbie gives him a dirty look but chooses to keep her mouth shut.

She’s a week past her due date so they are at the clinic today to make sure everything is good. Debbie is up on the table and Ian and Mickey are sitting in the two available chairs when the doctor comes in.

“Hi, Debbie! Hi, Dads!” she says cheerfully. “So we are going to measure your belly and do a quick ultrasound just to make sure your amniotic fluid looks good.” Mickey grimaces at the term “amniotic fluid”. “I’ll have her back in a jiffy, guys!” the doctor says as she whisks Debbie out of the room.

They spent the last 6 months getting everything they needed for their new baby. Tami even threw them a shower where they got clothes, bottles, a swing, a carseat, and about a billion diapers. They decorated the nursery in light gray bedding with tiny white stars. Gender neutral because they want to be surprised. They have everything ready, all they need is the baby who is taking its sweet time.

Around 20 minutes has passed when the doctor pokes her head in the door.

“Sooo, I have some news. Debbie’s water broke while we were doing her ultrasound and her contractions started coming really fast. From what I’ve been told, her first delivery was pretty quick so we’re transporting her to the hospital just down the road, just to be safe. You are welcome to head over there now. I will be delivering so I’ll see you guys there!” and her head pops out as quickly as it appeared.

Ian and Mickey just look at each other, stunned. Finally Mickey regains his senses and breaks the silence. “Well, let’s fuckin’ go!”

They finally make it to the OB floor after a couple wrong turns inside the hospital. A nurse points them to Debbie’s room and they walk in when she’s in the middle of a pretty intense contraction. Once it subsides, she greets them and informs the epidural is on its way.

Once it’s been administered and Debbie is blissfully pain free, she asks, “Do you guys want to be in the delivery room?”

They both look at each other. “I hadn’t really thought about it,” Ian replies.

“Fuck, no,” Mickey says. “I don’t wanna see that shit.”

“Mick, you don’t have to watch. We can stand up by her head. Hold her hand. Be supportive since she’s bringing our baby into this world.” Ian turns to Debbie. “Are you sure you don’t mind? We understand if you want to keep things private.”

“Ian. I gave birth to Franny on our kitchen table in front of… like, everyone. Kev saw my vagina. V saw my vagina. Fuckin’ Sean saw my vagina. Trust me, I don’t care if you two are in the room.”

Ian looks at Mickey. “Fuck… fine. We can be in there,” Mickey relents.

A nurse comes in to check Debbie and informs her she’s 100% effaced and 10cm dilated. It’s go time. Things move at a quick pace after that. More nurses come in, turning on extra lights, bringing in supplies, wheeling in the heated bassinet.

Ian and Mickey stand side by side to Debbie’s left, Ian holding her hand, while she pushes. It’s fast. She only pushes for ten minutes before they hear cries and the doctor’s holding the baby in her hands, declaring, “it’s a girl!”

The next thing they know, a nurse is throwing a clean blanket over Mickey’s chest, and another nurse walks over and places the baby, his daughter, in his arms, blood, vernix, and all. Ian expects him to be grossed out but Mickey just stares in awe at this beautiful baby. This baby that looks like him in the face, but has a head of red hair.

Ian steps up to Mickey and wraps an arm around his shoulders, placing his other under Mickey’s arms that are holding their daughter. There is not a dry eye in the room. Ian and Mickey are crying, Debbie is crying, even the doctor and nurses are crying.

The next hour or so is spent getting the baby, and Debbie, cleaned up and dressed. They take the baby and run the normal tests and give her a vitamin k shot.

Once Debbie is in a room, the nurse brings the baby in to her dads. Ian sits in the rocking chair snuggling her while she sleeps and Mickey is right next to them.

Debbie just gazes at this new little family from her spot in bed. “So,” she finally says. “What are you naming her?”

Ian and Mickey just smile at each other before Ian responds, “Debbie, meet Margaret Laura Gallagher-Milkovich. Maggie for short.”

Debbie’s eyes tear up. “You guys gave her my middle name?”

Mickey surprisingly fields this question. “We wanted her to be named after the person that’s responsible for her bein’ here. For helping’ create her for us. I know I give you a lotta shit, but I love ya, and I appreciate the fuck outta you, Debbie.”

“Aww, Mickey, I love yo-“ she begins before being interrupted.

“Don’t get fuckin’ used to it. I’m emotional today,” he snaps with feigned grumpiness. Then smiles at her.

They let Debbie snuggle her for a bit before being released by the pediatrician to take her home. Thankfully they had already installed the infant seat in their car so they were prepared.

They walk through the door of their apartment 30 minutes later. Ian sets the carrier down and picks the baby up out of it, snuggling her tiny body to his chest before passing her off to Mickey.

“I’m not sure what you were so worried about, you’re a natural, Mickey,” Ian says as he gazes at his handsome husband tenderly cradling their beautiful baby girl.

They walk over to the sofa and sit down, thinking about the whirlwind of a day. Not knowing when they got up this morning to take Debbie to the clinic that by evening, they’d be holding their daughter in their arms.

Ian wraps Mickey’s shoulders with his arm, places his hand on their swaddled baby and says, “Welcome home, Maggie Gallagher-Milkovich. Your dads love you so much.”

[wonderwomanfantasy]

Creeper

I’m writing more hikyuu to prove that you actually should request Haikyuu stuff when requests open and also just to flex. 

Tenou x reader

word count: 1,600 (about)

warnings: none, this is pretty sweet and fluffy. 

Summary: Tendou is uncharitbly called a Stalker when it comes to his crush.  I mean what you spend half your time stareing at one person and suddenly you’re a a stalker? Guess that means you’re a stalker too...

Tendou knew he was a bit of a creep and that you probably hated him, if you even thought of him at all. But he was okay with it, he had been dealing with people being scared for a while so he shouldn’t care. Even if the person scared of him was drop dead gorgeous. 

You came to watch volleyball practice nearly every day after school. Lots of people did but you were the only one who caught his eye. He made sure his blocks were mega impressive if he knew you were watching, but it wasn’t enough. your attention always seemed to be on someone else. 

Not that he wasn’t used to that either. But it took him a couple of days to figure out why it was bothering him now all of a sudden. 

Tendou seriously considered asking you to transfer out of  Shiratorizawa when he realized he had accidently started crushing on you.  He simply couldn’t have it, it was too distracting. He tried to way the pros and cons but in the end he scrapped the “50 reasons why (y/n) should leave Shiratorizawa.” Essay. Besides if you actually did leave Shiratorizawa, then he wouldn’t be able to see your cute face everyday. 

“you’re staring again,” Reon said, Tendou frowned. 

“I don’t know what you mean, I wasn’t even looking in your direction,” He shot back with a smile. He really was such a creep, always sitting at the right angel so he could look at you, but as long as you didn’t notice him then it he wasn’t hurting anyone. 

“you should just ask her out,” Shirabu said through a mouth full of pork. Tendou went stiff just thinking about it. 

“Nah she’s not my type, wayyy to pretty for my tastes and she’s even nice and smart from what I heard, who’d want to be with a girl like that?” he fake gagged finally tearing his eyes away from where you were sitting with your friends. he picked at the rice on his plate slowly forming a rice snowman. 

“sure, whatever,” Shirabu. the subject changed and Tendou looked up again watching you laugh, you were cute, he wouldn’t mind dating you, it would be nice to see you in his large sweatshirt or cuddle with him while you did homework together. Even just to hold you would be nice, he knew that you would probably flinch from his touch if he tried anything in real life, but his fantasies didn’t have to adhere to the real world. it would be sweet if you weren’t so incredibly out of his league. 

You came to the Shiritorizawa match early, as you always did, you wished the volleyball team wasn’t quite so popular, it might be easier to get a good seat then. Normally you would go up to the stands to watch from a safe distance. 

Today you weren’t so lucky. 

“Hey! you girl,” Coach Washijō snapped at you making you jump. 

“u-uhm Yes sir?” he pointed at a bag at his feet. 

“Fill up these water bottles for the game,” He barked. you squeaked and scampered to do as he asked. 

“Hustle! Show some school spirit!” he shouted as you struggled to fill the bottles as fast as possible 

You had thought about becoming the manager for the team but this interaction made you glad you hadn’t  Washijō was biting at your heals as you dragged the water to the courtside. you were almost in tears as he yelled at you. 

“I-I-I,” you couldn’t even force a simple ‘I’m sorry’ with out tripping over yourself you were so flustered.

“ah thank you for helping (y/n) we’re going to extra luck thanks to you,” you looked up to see who had saved you, and weren’t surprised to see tendou there. Of course he would be the one to save you. you felt your heart melt a little seeing him. 

You never got the chance to see satori up close, you almost forgot how tall he was. and now that he was so close you couldn’t help but flush with embarrassment. Now that the Coaches attention was off of you, you could speak again.

“It’s uh no proplem coach and g-good luck with the game Tendou,” you squeaked before darting off the court and up to the stands. Of course all the good seats were taken so you were relegated to the back of the stands. 

Still, it was a pretty good game, the other team up good fight you won in straight sets. If you were right, Tendou didn’t miss a single block. 

You really only came to the games for the cute red-headed middle blocker. You didn’t speak to Tendou often, it was rare you found an excuse too, but you still had fallen for him hopelessly.

you sighed dreamily to yourself as you walked out with a mass of people. You still couldn’t belive you’d talked to him today. 

Tendou was buzzing with excitement. It had been a really good game and it was all thanks to you. No way he could have done without you sweet words to him before the match. It probably also helped that you had touched his already lucky water bottle. 

He was on cloud nine as he hummed happily walking off the court, his team mates couldn’t help but notice.

You were watching the practice like you always did, save for the fact that you were alone today. Most of the time your friends would join you to giggle about how handsome Ushijima was, but none of them could make it today. 

“Hey you’re (y/n) right?” semi asked, stopping you before you could even enter the gym. 

“uh yeah?” you sounded unsure of yourself, but this was the first time Semi had ever bothered talking to you and you had no idea why. 

“cool, I saw you at the game the other day, you should come to more of our games-”  you were more confused than anything. Was he hitting on you?

“uh okay?” you said awkwardly, not wanting to tell him that you already went to all the games. 

“you know Tendou likes to see you there,” he added raising his eyebrows you felt your face flush with embarrassment. so he wasn’t hitting on you, but playing wingman for tendou

“oh, did Tendou tell you that?”

“nah, but we can all just sort of tell he’s into you,”

“That’s kind of a jump don’t you think? I mean just ‘cus he wanted to see me doesn’t mean he likes me,” you argued nervously messing with your fingers. 

“Trust me, He’s into you, He’s probably pissed I’m even talking to you, He’s just... kinda weird, so ask him out sometime,” Semi encouraged. 

As it happened, Tendou was pissed that Eita was talking to you. How dare he try and steal Tendou’s little good luck charm. Tendou usually stared at you as much as he liked, but he couldn’t stomach watching you blush at whatever semi was saying to you. 

was that why you came to every practice and every game? because you were in love with him? he though about you clinging to Eita the way he wanted to hold you and his heart lurched. he wondered if he could finger tape his heart back together again. Not that he would do anything to break the two of you up, if you were happy then he couldn’t stop that right? and if you were dating Semi then he’d definitely see you more...

He was leaving the gym lost in his own thoughts when he heard his own name called  “Tendou, do you think you could walk with me back to the dorms?” Tendou almost jumped. How the fuck were you so quiet?

“Awe does the is the cute little Junior scared of the dark? You need your big strong Senpai to walk with you?” he teased automatically before mentally kicking himself. he really hated himself. you laughed politely and started walking with him 

“Actually I wanted to talk to you, Semi said you liked me,”

Tendou wanted to through himself into the ocean. or maybe a really big hole in the ground that could swallow him up entirely. anything really to get out of this situation. 

“oh? is that what you two were talking about?”

“yeah he said that I should ask you out,”

“oh,” maybe he’s just kill Semi instead, that would work too. 

“I really like you Tendou, I want to ask you out,” you admitted stopping in the middle of the walkway. he was glad you did because he froze instantly. this had to be a joke right? Semi put you up to this and they were all laughing at him right now. but as he looked around him, he was alone, no one even hiding in the bushes and you didn’t look like you were pulling a prank. you looked almost as nervous as he felt. fuck it. he learned forward kissing you quickly, barely brushing his lips with yours before pulling back, not wanting to press his luck. 

You were left completely breathless, you touched your lips feeling them buzz. Tendou laughed. 

“is that why you come to all the games and practices? you’re stalking me or something?” he cupped your cheek and kissed you again, this time he let the kiss linger long enough for you to kiss him back before he had to pull away, you're soft lips were making his head spin.

“you’re lucky you’re so cute (y/n) otherwise you’d be a total creep.”

[1010ll]

do you have any new recipes that you've learned recently? i remember you wrote something a while ago about carbonara and i tried it out for myself it was really fun!!

i love this 😭 im gonna write way too much idec! something that has changed since that post: my kitchen is worse. i have a horrible combi oven which has resulted in me accidentally eating raw chicken, because it had been in there for more than 2 hours at supposedly 230 °C and i was really hungry and thought it HAD to be done by then. also i have less time and less money lol. it has made me a bit sad, and less motivated to cook nice things but i also love food! which means these tips/recipes are gonna reflect that and might seem a bit dull but probably also relatable for a lot of people.   i’ve definitely made spaghetti carbonara a bit too much because it’s simple and require few ingredients! will still vouch for that one tip about substituting the bacon with roasted veggies and other types of meat.

last week i made risotto for the very first time, i think? which means i might be assuming a bit too much, but i think it’s a great dish that you can almost make with whatever you have in your fridge. i made it with roasted beetroot(needs A LOT of time to soften, lesson learned), carrots and parsley root or parsnip(idk the difference), dried rosemary and thyme, garlic and onion. i had some leftover sushi rice, which is great for risotto apparently(love versatile ingredients), roasted them in some oil and then added white wine and chicken stock and actually added a leftover parmesan rind i had in the fridge to give the ‘stock’ some flavour, a bit of nutmeg and then in the end some shredded gouda lol… it was surprisingly delicious and i didn’t even really care to cook the rice perfectly. it also tasted delicious 3 days later, which was a nice surprise. i bet there are tons of risotto recipes online, but as long as you have rice, some kind of flavoured water, i guess you could kind of add whatever you want of veggies and top with whatever herb you have around.

another type of porridge i consume a lot these days is hot oat porridge, which i’ve eaten since i was little and it was the first ‘dish’ i learnt to make myself and it’s cheap. some people really dislike the consistency and look but i don’t. it’s also very easy to customise. i put in whatever nuts and seeds(which are often cheaper than nuts) i have around: flaxseed, sesame seeds, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, chopped almonds and sometimes a dollop of peanut butter. i let them simmer along with the oats. i like adding those elements because it gives it some texture and it keeps me more full throughout the day. it’s very important to me because i hate spending money i don’t have on fast-food when i’m not home and i hate being hungry. dried raisins, cranberries for a bit of sweetness and if i’m treating myself i’ll add some fresh apples cut into small pieces or some homemade berry compote(i use frozen) or brown sugar. if i had more money i’d use maple syrup but i don’t at the moment. i also add a bit of cinnamon and cardamom, dried ginger etc, whatever you feel like. some people also add milk afterwards but i’d rather spend my milk on my coffee.

a small tip: making chili flake / garlic oil. it’s really delicious, you could put it straight on pasta with some parmesan and pepper and it would be a filling meal. either chop the garlic really fine, grate it, microplane it, smash it to pieces. heat some olive oil until it’s quite hot, then remove from heat and add the chili flakes and garlic. if the oil isn’t hot enough you can just put the pan or pot back on the heat but be careful you don’t burn the chili flakes or garlic, as it will make it bitter. the longer it will toast, the less pronounced the raw garlic flavour will be, so when it smells toasted enough for your taste, take it off. i store it in a tiny glass jar and add it in stews, sauces, toasts, pizza, sandwiches etc. the flavour is very strong imo and everything it touches will smell like it. something to drink: i like strong foods and i like sour foods, which is why i like lemon/ginger based drinks. to make it even more winter friendly and easy to make, i like to grate unpeeled ginger(i hate slices of ginger, they do nothing for me and seems like a waste of ginger), lemon zest, lemon juice and mix it or blend it with some water/apple juice and honey and strain it afterwards. if you have a really nice blender you can just add all of it together with some ice. i’m basically making a large amount of ginger shot mixture. then when i feel like it, i can take some of the mixture and either drink it as it is, add more apple juice if i need a refreshing beverage or add hot water and more honey for when im cold. you could also add turmeric, chili, use less sweetener and other sorts of healthy stuff but i honestly do it for the taste so i don’t care about that that much.

something sweet: i posted earlier about cakes and someone mentioned swedish kladdkaka, which is a super delicious, cheap, brownie-like chocolate cake that is easily customized and hard to fuck up which is why i’ve made it since i was very young and is a go-to and i didn’t even know it was a swedish thing. if you like airy, light cakes this is not for your. this is sticky, sweet and almost like confection. you can add nuts, swirls of peanutbutter, tahini, actual pieces of chocolate, replace the white sugar with brown sugar, the butter with oil(you can be fancy and use a bit of olive oil) or use a mixture, brown the butter, you name it. the recipe i use is this: melt 100 g butter and let cool. mix 2 eggs + 3 dl sugar in a bowl until fluffy in one bowl. mix 1.5 dl flour, 4 tbs cocoa, 1 pinch of salt in another. mix the dry with the wet mixture and add the cooled, melted butter. this is the point where you’d add chopped nuts, chocolate etc. pour the batter into a cake tin lined with parchment (i use one that is 16 cm in diameters i think). bake the cake for around 30 mins at 150°C - 175°C degrees. check on the cake using a cake tester or a a knife. if the knife is clean after … stabbing it, it’s done! the cake will change it’s texture after cooling. this is a cheap cake, and if you like cake dough you might want to give it less time in the oven for a more fudgey texture. make it your own! there are no rules. last time i made this, i left it in for too long in my opinion but it was still delicious. also i literally have a shit oven with a round oven rack that goes in circles no matter what due to the microwave function, and the only ‘mixing’ equipment i have is a whisk and a spatula. no need for kitchen aids or  even electrical hand mixers.

something else i’ve been eating a lot for lunch is simple open faced sandwiches, and something that can really elevate those is: making your own mayonnaise(and toasting the bread). it can be challenging, but it’s really worth it imo and i can’t remember the last time i bought it in a store. i have a small plastic bowl, whisk and 1 egg yolk. something i can really recommend is buying pour snouts for bottles. i transfer my oils from their plastic bottles to smaller, old soda bottles because im cheesy like that and it’s really handy especially when making mayo. constantly whisking the egg yolk by hand and then adding the NEUTRAL oil ever so slowly. don’t be fancy and use cold pressed stuff or extra virgin olive oil because it will taste weird. i only ever fail when i try to use immersion blenders for some weird reason but i find it rewarding to do by hand anyways and i think it might be easier to make smaller portions that way. mayo needs acid and you can get it by adding regular vinegar, apple cider vinegar, balsamic vinegar, lemon juice, lime juice, pickle juice, citric acid dissolved in water etc. it’s really easy to customise! when im making banh mi, i add some sesame oil, soy sauce for saltiness and use lime as the acidic element. for more regular use i add a bit of mustard(also helps with the emulsion), for fries, i like adding some fresh garlic. something as simple as mayo, tomatoes, flaky salt and pepper topped with chives is really nice. i also really like using slices of boiled potatoes or boiled eggs(idk if that’s only a thing where i’m from), mayo and the chili garlic oil. it’s also great for making tuna salad. yesterday i made a really simple sandwich with a very simple tuna salad(tuna, mayo, yoghurt, lemon and pepper), arugula, basil, the garlic/chili oil, cream cheese, pickled jalapeños and onions, green peber, cucumber and tomatoes. you could leave out everything but the tuna salad and it would still be a great little meal.

another nice condiment that beats the supermarket stuff by far is homemade ‘pesto’. when i buy parsley from my local grocery store, it’s a gigantic amount that i in no way can consume in a week. first of all when buying fresh herbs i really recommend washing them, wrapping them in a damp towel and keeping them in a closed container. it will prolong their lifetime from lasting a day to a week(change the towel if it seems too wet). i once had some cilantro in my fridge for several weeks and still be fresh. anyways, when i buy that much parsley, i like to remove the tougher parts of the stem(which i use in stews/sauces! chop it up and sautee it along with garlic and onion), add literally just olive oil, water, pepper, garlic, and a bit of acid and then blend away! it keeps for a long time in the fridge and is also delicious beneath tomatoes/potatoes/cheese on open-faced sandwiches. if you want to be fancy you can of course add some type of hard cheese, nuts, seeds, dried tomatoes, whatever.

i know this is the longest text post ever, but as a last reminder, i really recommend watching pasta grannies on youtube. really simple recipes with focus on few, good ingredients that just takes some time and love.

[kusagrasskusa]

Light X Detective! Reader - "I am Kira"

Summery- Y/N is a teenager given the honor of working for the task force and is with the few who agreed to work in the Kira case. Both while discussing L and on her way to go to the hotel to meet L, she bumps into Light. They get along and have a two minute conversation before she's pulled away by Aizawa. Her biggest flaw is her incapability to shut up, so she sorta explains how she (rather than Pember's fiance) believes Kira can in many ways...

Sorry for the "read more" being so high up lol. When I look through hashtags, I hate it when there's an entire story I already read to scroll past before I can see new ones :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I just don't understand," Y/N huffed as she pushed her hair behind her ear. She clinched the papers in her hand and furrowed her eyebrows together while rereading all the reports that were concluded to be caused by Kira. She sat in a cold room, in a chair that wouldn't warm up, with a bunch of officers who were equally as ignorant and annoyingly loud as the next. A lot of them distrust L as well, creating an unwanted tension that bothers everyone.

"Excuse me, sir," called a brunette boy to another brunette. Okay, maybe not everyone is annoying and ignorant; Matsuda and the Cheif were alright. Y/N smiled to herself as she looked at the two congregating. It's nice to see these two making the atmosphere brighter, she thought. There's been a lot of stress since no one can even began to image how Kira is even existing right now. Whether it's a single person or a group, how can they kill someone from anywhere? Alchemy isn't even real, so how?

And before she knew it, two hours of nothing went by. That is, until, three officers went up to the Cheif and set stuff down on the table. "Sir, we're resigning from the Kira investigation."

The cheif stood up, wide eyed, "why!"

"Because we value our lives! Kira has made it clear that he'll stop whoever gets in his way! We have a family at home and we aren't going to give it up!" One explained, taking deep breaths. The Cheif was silent for a moment before sighing, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Take your badges. I completely understand your decision." The cheif stood up, looking around the room. "I want everyone who wants to leave the Kira investigation to stand up. You won't be fired but rather transfered to another case." And just like that, nearly every single person in the case stood up, looking around each other disappointly. Y/N looked around her, glaring at the men around her. Wow, she thought, and I was called weak for being a "little girl."

As people made their decisions on whether to leave, or stay, or whatever, Y/N simply stacked her papers and cleaned her desk. The one she shared her desk had left, so she had a lot more space to put her paperwork. To be honest she didn't really like him all that much; it's random but that man would make the most jokes about Y/N's age and gender. She was the only female and being surrounded by a bunch of guys called for many conversations focusing on how she would interact with people, as if her gender is a defining quality to ever conversation.

But thank God that's over with. As Y/N looked around the room, her eyes widened as her eyebrows furrowed. "What? Like everyone left!" She called out, counting the people left. Masuta chuckled from across the room and she received a disapproving glance from Aizawa. Well, thank God these two stayed. She would be so alone with someone to joke with and another to keep an eye on her.

Aizawa is almost like an older brother/father figure of sorts, which is hella comforting. Matsuda and Y/N have never met before their job, not even happened to lassby each other at any point in their life, yet as soon as they saw each other, they knew each other very well. Immediately they kicked it off and eventually he found a way to convince the cheif that she's worthy of being here with him. He may have even brought up Light to make the cheif feel more personalized. It worked somehow.

The few remaining in the office stood up to acknowledge each other better. And when L finally spoke up from the computerin the back of the room, it was time for the debate on whether we trust him or not. Y/N, the Cheif, Matsuda, and Ukita seem to trust L a lot. Aizawa and Ide seem distrustful, and Mogi is neutral. When L released them to go discuss their views on him, everyone was eager to go.

On the way outside, a smile hung on Y/N's features as she walked alongside Matsuda. He didn't exactly share her energy as he rather just stared at the ground with a look of questioning. "This is a good thing y'know? It finally means we have the chance of a lifetime: to meet L. He would know how to keep us safe so we would never end up like the FBI agents!" Y/N whispered to him, making a small look of relief cross his features. He smiled at her and nodded.

Just a little into the conversation, the group had already began to trust L at least a little bit more. A few minutes later, L was given them directions on how to find him. Like hell I will write this all out, so just know that this happened the same way it did in the anime :). Y/N smiled widely, gripping Matsuda's sleeve and giggling quietly to herself. "This is amazing! We get to finally meet the L!"

"Calm down, L/N-san," Aizawa scolded, sending her a disapproving look. Y/N giggled at his stern face, shaking her head. She leaned on Matsuda's shoulder.

"Come on, 'Zawa! You're not excited? Not everyone gets to do this, y'know," she replied. Chief Yagami sighed and rolled his eyes at her childish behavior.

~~~

Y/N walked the dark streets with Aizawa by her side. She's humming to herself before breaking into a light sing, "hirogaru yami no naka-"

"Do you ever be quiet?" Aizawa asked. Y/N shook her heard before continuing to sing. But this time, she spread her arms out and moved more, dancing to the rhythm of the song. "Stop it, you child! You're gonna draw attention to us!"

"No I won't~ After all, it's the middle of the night," she replied as she pointed around the empty streets with the exception of 3 pass-bys. "No one is gonna care about a stupid little schoolgirl with her "dad" walking around when their tired and want to go home." Oh, in order to keep up a lie that Y/N is related to Aizawa, they found it easier for her to dress in a schoolgirl outfit. After all,, it's a Wednesday so people would think she would have to go to school, meaning she was young enoigh to be his daughter. "It's not like I'm gonna run into someone, eit—" Pffb!

Y/N fell onto the ground and landed in on the pavement. She hit her head on a metal door when she was walking and somehow didn't see it; well, maybe that's because someone opened the door. "Sorry! I didn't see you there," called a soft, masculine voice. He extended his hand towards the girl who was rubbing the mark on her forehead. She looked up at him either an apologetic look as she took his hand and he pulled her to her feet.

"No, I apologize. I, um, wasn't looking," she responded. Her face was pink with embarrassment so she kept her head low. After all, how does one recover from embarrassing themselves in front of someone so damn attractive?

"Look what you did; I told you this would happen. I'm sorry, sir, for you— Light?" Aizawa asked with a questioning look on his features. The brunette boy smiled at Aizawa, waving.

"It's me, haha. Sorry, I'm not very good with faces. What's your name?" He kindly asked. Y/N looked up at him and admired his features. He looked so calm and collected that it was admiring to her.

"Aizawa," is all he said before Light nodded in remembrance.

"Nice to see you again, sir. Is this your daughter? She looks lovely," Light complimented as he turned towards the short girl, whose face remained as pink as before if not worse. She bit her bottom lip, looking up at him at waving.

"My name is Y/N, nice to meet to you Light," she responded with a bow of her head. Light bowed his head simultaneously with that calm smile never leaving his face. "Sorry again, haha. I'm sorta a clutz," she continued.

Light shook his head and scratched the back of his neck. "No need to be so worried, Miss Y/N. All's forgiven. Actually, I'm rather glad we did bump into each other like that. You're a sweet woman," he replied. Y/N chuckled nervously and felt his charisma hit her deep in the soul.

"I hate to break up you and your boyfriend," Aizawa stepped in. "But we have to get going. It was nice seeing you Light." Light nodded in understanding and YN posted her lip, though also understanding. She looked back at Light, smiling.

"Well, I hope to see you again, Light. Bye for now," she said her goodbyes as Light did the same to her before hey parted ways. "He's cute," she simply stated as Aizawa rolled his eyes.

"You teenagers and your weird romances..."

~~~

Y/N laid there; her books spread out on a table and her head in her arms, breathing softly as she stayed asleep. She was only allowed to work 4 days a week with the task force and this would be one of those days where she had to study hella hard since she wouldn't be able to every Monday and Tuesday. She's in a few advanced classes and they've been getting harder now that she can't focus all her attention on her classes. But damn, she was so tired today! But even so, a simple poke on the back woke her up.

"Excuse me ma'am, are you alright?" A soft voice asked. She stirred around before looking over at the owner of that voice, furrowing her eyebrows together. "Y/N?"

"Light?" Y/N asked, her face turning red in embaressment. "Oh! I'm sorry, were you going to sit here?" She asked eagerly as she gathered her things and put them in together as fast as possible.

"Oh no! I was just checking to see if you were okay, so please do whatever," Light responded. Y/N continued to blush as she mumbled an oh before setting her things back down.

"Sorry, haha... I sometimes get sorta caught up in my studies," she admitted, earning a chuckle from Light.

"No worries. I'd be glad to help if needed. What grade are you in?" Light asked as he set his coffee down on the table, sitting down besides her.

"Senior year. 18 and still can't grow up," she added a self depreciating comment as she rubbed her tired eyes and yawned. Light shook his head, brushing his hand in the air to singal "it's okay".

"No need to be so harsh on yourself. After all, everyone learns in a different way and perhaps the way you're teaching yourself isn't the right way. Instead of reading equations and writing down answers, let's try drawing out pictures of those equations and adding references." Light took the pencil from her side and and began to draw and write put several equations and problems. Needless to say, in about an hour, Y/N had understood every single thing she had worked on.

"You're doing great," Light complimented as he looked over Y/N's paper. Y/N giggled nervously, a Light blush coming to her cheeks.

"Thanks, with your help though," she replied. Light shook his head and handed back the paper.

"Not at all. I just showed you a new technique and told you what you got wrong. It was all you." Y/N thanked him once more before taking a sip of her coffee. It was maybe 9am by now and perhaps she should get going.

"It's getting a bit late. I need to go home soon," she spoke sadly. Light nodded, standing up from the table while Y/N collected her things. "Thanks again, by the way. Especially for staying with me for, like, an hour. That must be hard, heh heh."

Light chuckled, shaking his head. "You need to belive in yourself a little more, y'know. However, anyways, I suppose we should get going now. It was nice seeing you again, Y/N. I look forward to our next encounter." They walked each other out the door before finally saying their last goodbye and parting ways.

~~~

In no time, Light was part of the police task force as well. Side by side Y/N, who graduated with him, someone who he had got close to since their first visit in the cafe. Hell, this far into each other's company and how close they must be true to work, some may even say there's love. Light was that tall, sweet, intelligent, caring boy who never breaks in situations. Y/N was that kind, self-deprecating, cheerful but can be serious, smart, and thorough girl who looks as dumb as a rock. They're very similar in some places and different in others, which is the perfect mix.

"To be honest," Y/N sighed. "I'm really starting to doubt L. He focuses on you way too much, and we really don't have time for that. People are being killed everyday and nothing's being done to stop it." Light nodded, sighing as well. They sat on the top stairs of the roof of the headquarters. "And Kira's supporters give me mixed feelings as well. I understand that what Kira is doing seems righteous, I truly do. They say how these people were never the hero so why should they live? They should live because they shouldn't have to be heroes."

Y/N couldn't help but vent her feelings. After all, a tragic incident had happened to he recently so she couldn't help it. Light picked up on her way more serious attitude towards the investigation and asked what's pushing her so hard. After a little persuasion, he got her to talk about it in a private place. The whole time, she was trying her best to hold in tears when she spoke. "It's bothering me that these supporters think their morally right for thinking the way they do... My uncle, he was killed by Kira last week. And these supporters, they laugh and taunt him because hehe made a mistake when he was young," Y/N hissed, her tears threatening to fall.

"My uncle didn't mean to do it! He was friends with an officer who came over to his house for a party! They got drunk and my uncle wanted to scare awake his friend using a gun he thought was unloaded. He got to watch his best friend's head explode all over his fucking house, all because of a stupid mistake? I was 5 years old, going to the prison every week to him for the little amount of time I could. The officers who would search the visitors knew me; she knew me and who I was going to see, a kindergartener who was scared and hurt by the loss of her uncle. Due to the shooting being accidental, he had less time to serve. And that day, that day where he'd be free, Kira did it. It's fucking disgusting."

Light listened with a frown on his face, patting her back and she hugged her knees and began to cry. It's a shame, really. He sat out there with her for maybe two more minutes before she calmed down.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Y/N. I had no idea," Light spoke sadly, frowning. Y/N shook her head a smile forming on her face. It was clearly force and unhappy, but at least it made Y/N cry less.

"No, no, don't be. I kinda should've expected this. My uncle was a great, funny guy and I wish the world knew that. But anyway," Y/N wiped her tears as she stood up. She extended a hand for Light to take, which he did with a soft smile on his features, and pulled him up. A soft blush hit she cheeks when a

[watchinglikeafangirl]

Unpopular opinion about IPYTM

IPYTM is the second season of ITSAY and once again deals with Teh not knowing exactly what he wants in life. Now, he is with Oh-aew but feels even more far away from him than before because they live different lives and struggle to accept the change of their relationship. It's now about their college years and not about high school any more, which gives their lives a way more serious touch Billkin and PP act out beautifully. But as we all know, acting isn't everything. Directors have a major impact on the endproduct and sadly, they changed the director here which is very visible in the entire season. It is not necessarily a bad thing to switch directors and it wasn't the worst choice in IPYTM but for me personally, Teh and Oh-aew's story lost its lovelyness. It's not as special any more.

Editing

Like I said, what caught my attention right from the start is the different editing of IPYTM and I don't just mean the editing. I mean the way it looks, sounds and feels like.

ITSAY focused a lot on its color scheme and expressed feelings through coloring. Oh-aew's color is red and Teh's color is blue. The background mostly looked very calm. A stonecolored house or the sea were always part of the scenery. But now, they are in crowded places or in front of something colorful. Q's home looks cozy and symmetrical but has nothing more to it. The furniture is as boring as possible to let the characters stand out. It feels like the characters don't fit into the scenery and yet, they somehow do. But I think, the detailed and planned-out concept got lost here and it was a very important aspect of ITSAY. Yes, the colors red and blue sometimes shine through but are not as dominant any more and I believe it was all very thought through, but I just don't feel it. The only thing expressed through color I can remember is Oh-aew's hair. The red stands for his inner conflict if Teh accepts him and what happened to their relationship. Him dying his hair back to brown showed he was coming down to earth again. He walked the long path of self love to be okay with himself again. His dressing style has changed but his hair color is all the same, showing he still is the same old Oh-aew.

As I metioned a few times before, I don't like the way background music is used so frequently to make the emotions easier to understand. When they are sad, the music is sad. When it's awkward, the music is funny. When they are out of line, the music is stressful. This is not a bad thing but I noticed music explaining the emotions of the scenes is used way more often. ITSAY had music moments as well, of course, but if you listen and watch closely, there's always music in IPYTM. In Ep 5, I started laughing every time it happened. It annoys me a lot because ITSAY used a lot of background noises and presented things in silence which made all those scenes feel extremely realistic because reality is silent. It made things more lovely, more memorable and more saddening because there was nothing to seek comfort it. Just blank silence and a lonely face made all emotions stand out way more and made me feel like I was watching a show building up realism. But IPYTM rarely had any silent scenes and when the music is absent, the show doesn't work that well any more. It is designed to be a lot more basic to please the now-very-much-bigger audience. Music makes it easier for the audience to get the vibe but is also a simple tool to use when the scene doesn't work elsewise.

Now, we get to the whole vibe. ITSAY felt very nostalgic and melodramatic whereas IPYTM feels modern and bitter. It's like ITSAY was a dream and IPYTM is the reality behind the sea. This opposite could be great, but instead it feels like a bitter reality. Their relationship meets problems, they struggle finding friends and dreams meet a dead end. It feels like watching the show through the eyes of an old person reminicing. The light-hearted scenes lack and drama takes over way too soon and for way too long. It feels rushed and average. Not as special any more. The special feeling is gone.

Characters

Let's get to my second problem I have with this sequel and it's the most important one because this show only surrounds around Teh and Oh-aew. They are the ones who changed the most. Change isn't bad, don't get me wrong. I sometimes seek change so badly I'm devastated when I go to bed with the feeling everything is the same again. That the world is the same. That others are the same. That I'm still the same. In IPYTM, change is seen as something bad because we still see the world through Teh's eyes and Teh always was and always will be the sort of character who detestes change and feels like he loses bonds if personalities change as they grow. The same happens here. The fear of changing so much, you can't recognize your most loved one, is extremely realistic at that age and I can't say anything against it because I have the same fear. Still, there are choices I can't agree with.

Like I said, Teh hates change and the moment Oh-aew says he wants to transfer, problems start. Him transfering means Teh feels like he doesn't understand Oh-aew any more. It means having a life very different from Teh's and since ITSAY was about them realizing how much they have in common, IPYTM is more about them discovering they are not the same person. They are individuals who have different personalities and seek happiness in their own way. They don't copy each other. IPYTM is more about self-realization. This also means, they spend some time apart and lose each other a little bit.

All of this is fine, all of this is realistic. But what I don't like about Teh and Oh-aew is them not talking. They accept their fate which causes them to break apart even more. Thing is, Teh was always someone not sharing much very easily, but Oh-aew always shared his thoughts. He made the first step, he was serious and he showed how hurt he was. And now, he feels Teh is drifting away and doesn't address it. He doesn't address how lonely he feels, he doesn't say how much he misses Teh, he doesn't mention he's not fine with himself. It is frustrating to watch them just coexisting without sharing stuff.

And then Teh cheats which was never the missing puzzle piece to their story. I know, Teh is sad. His friends change, his boyfriend changes. But why would he throw something away, he worships so much? He doesn't very much open up about himself but he did to Oh-aew, so why does he lose courage to fight for it, let it stay like it and just kisses someone else who is a playboy? He choses to believe in Jai's actions rather than seeing Oh-aew.

Plot

I'm drifting to the next point. The plot. Well, the plot is just ... stupid (I'm sorry). Yes, it is entertaining at some points but it is average, basic. The love triangle, trust issues and jealousy is something I've seen various times before. I'm extremely disappointed when it comes to the story because the thing I loved about ITSAY as well, was the originality. It wasn't clicheish. It wasn't boring. It wasn't like other shows. It was independant. But IPYTM tried very hard to please the now-big audience and fanbase. It's not what I wanted to see.

Even if you give them a love triangle, then please, not such a flat character as Jai. We had Tarn and Bas in ITSAY. They were breathing human beings with their own personalities, their own goals and their own interests. But Jai ... he's just there. He helps Teh to act properly and Teh spends a lot of time with him, apparently, but his personality is not very clear. When he tells Teh, he was just pretending, I can't tell if he really was or if he steps aside for Oh-aew. I still can't tell and I think it's really weak of such an important character with so much screentime, to lack of a personality. Everybody knew, why Bas stepped aside. But with Jai, I can't tell.

I lost it in Ep 5 when Bas showed up to give Oh-aew a tedtalk. Honestly, I laughed. It was stupid and again provse the writing of IPYTM is not nearly as strong and good as the writing of ITSAY. ITSAY contained an inner conflict as well but they managed to let us know about it without the characters actually telling us. When Teh gave Oh-aew the notebook with vocab, he hid outside. When the piano in the cafe was played, both cried far away from each other. When Teh spend time with Tarn, he realized his feelings and told her down. It's the little things. And IPYTM lacks of those. We actually need Bas to tell Oh-aew what to do and honestly, his message wasn't as deep. I can't count how often I heard those "follow you heart" speeches before. It works with everything. Right here, it seems passionless and rushed. Like they couldn't think of another way to solve the problem and come to an end.

So, the story was filled with cliches and the writing was not as good as ITSAY. Not only did we have a cameo of Bas to give Oh-aew a choice everybody knew he had, no, we also had an antagonist who is easy to blame for all the issues. Jai is the antagonist here, playing with Teh's thoughts or something but this show makes its life way too easy. Teh and Oh-aew had problems before. The result of this fading away, is Teh kissing Jai but Jai is not the reason for it. But then, Jai walks out of Teh's life and everything is fine again? They don't talk about the problems ever because Jai is gone now and so are the relationship problems? I'm sorry but this is just a sad plot for a second season of ITSAY.

Conclusion

I can just say, I'm very disappointed. ITSAY affected me personally very much and has a very special place in my heart, so I was afraid IPYTM would ruin this as soon as the OST premiered. It was so cheesy and average, I knew back then I won't enjoy this as much. I watched nevertheless, but my hopes were dropped at an instant and I lost my motivation to continue watching. I kept it on hold for 3 weeks and didn't even miss it. This is a bad sign.

What more can I say? I didn't feel it, I'm sorry. I still think Billkin and PP are amazing and well, this turned out to be longer than intended.

[pega-chan]

i relate a lot to Kusuo Saiki, actually, and not only bc i'm a dry-witted aroace. i get it, wanting to just be at the very least perceived as ordinary. i don't have godly psychic powers but i've spent my whole childhood standing out as The Foreigner New Kid at school bc i moved around so much as an immigrant, when i finally moved to my native country i was pretty much already a third culture kid (TKC). every single time i moved it was in the middle of the school year, or during third grade or something, and i stood out bc my experiences and the customs i practiced were so different from everyone else's, and once i tell people about it they're always quick to have different, often negative, expectations of me. i got too much attention for being unique. and it sucks bc sometimes they baby me for not knowing much of local culture or assuming i don't know how to speak the local language, "you're not used to things around here so we'll speak in something you understand," and i hated it immensely. i just wanted to be treated as a regular kid instead of something exotic.

the moment i got into a public high school (which is a big deal bc i've only ever been to private ones, public schools had never been an option before), regularly, like any other student, instead of moving in at 11th grade or the second semester or something, i took the chance to try and be as normal as possible. yes, i'm totally someone who grew up in this town and spoke the language fluently and can socialise properly, not some foreign kid, haha! /s. and it worked, for the most part; it was great to have nobody expect more, less, or differently from me, i can just blend into the background. i hid my history as well as i could. i wasn't the Kid Who Lived Abroad, just someone you would pass in the hallway and who spoke unnaturally good english (compared to the average public school student who learnt english in school and maybe the internet). they were the most peaceful school years i've ever had, and as disastrous as his life becomes, that's all i'm hoping Saiki could get.

i haven't ever come across a piece of media where they brought up and continually pressed the issue of specialty being bothersome and the struggle of leading an ordinary life like The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. has. i felt really seen, and i rooted for Saiki to have ordinary outings with his friends, average test scores, etc. everything regular kids get to do that i haven't ever got to do bc of my upbringing. some of the plot points are stuff i had to deal with; i accidentally became a focal point in a love triangle where i liked neither party involved, too! it was so uncanny. like i related to Aren as well, bc being a transfer student with an unpleasant past can be tough (being treated differently made me bitter and cynical and an awful person, and i started to clean up my act in high school, like Aren did). him trying his best to be civil and nice and socialise normally when it's just easier to lash out and be nasty after you're just so used to doing it resonated with me.

which is why i guess when Saiki first comes across Satou and marvels at how plain he is i'm just,,,YEAH i totally get it, it's amazing that you got to have a boring life. that's such a privilige! /srs. especially since i'm highly aware i'm still different than people my age anyway, what with being brought up in a household more conservative than most, being queer, being a TKC. i'd protect anyone who has a nondescript life, too. standing out is exhausting.

anyway this got really long but TL;DR, this show resonated a lot with me and i feel validated watching it.

[baodurs]

i want someone besides me and the 2 friends who know all the lore to meet my detective, but i’m too impatient to let you get to know her via fic so i filled out this questionnaire instead. she is veronica and she is so important, here is some stuff about her if you are interested :’)

QUICK READ OF YOUR DETECTIVE

Name: veronica langford

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: bi

Love interest: adam

Best friend: morgan

Main skill: science/technology

Secondary skill: combat/physical

Main personality trait: impulsive

Secondary personality trait: sarcastic

Why did they join the Wayhaven PD?: best use of her science skills

Relationship with Rebecca: not great

Relationship with Bobby: ex, finds it hard to be around him

Verda or Tina?: both! but she’s on verda’s branch

Murphy bite?: wrist

Murphy's fate?: captured

Rescue LI or Rescue Sanja?: sanja

GENERAL

Name: veronica “it’s been 3 years and i never gave her a middle name” langford

Nickname: just veronica. people around wayhaven called her ronny growing up, and a few still do despite her trying to grow out of it. maybe a few people from college and sometimes tina call her v or vee or something.

Birthday: please you all know i am so scared of concrete dates

Age: 26

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: bi

Hair color: brown

Eye color: dark brown

Height: 5′10 (178 cm)

Piercings: just one in each ear

Tattoos: something retro sci-fi on her shoulder. not a reference to anything specific, but like a little planetary landscape with a UFO in the background or something.

Clothing Style: casual. lots of tank tops and muscle tees (weather- and occasion-permitting), concert t-shirts, warm colors. flannels and leather jackets. jeans, sneakers, combat boots. think like rocker chick vibes, but cozier and more colorful.

Apartment Style: basic. she really did not plan on living there long and kept putting off decorating because it’d be a waste if she was just going to move out. this rationalization went on so long but since the end of book 1 she has slowly bought a few things to push it towards “cozy,” still pretty sparse though.

STATS

Personality:

Charming | Intimidating

Impulsive | Cautious

Sarcastic | Genuine

Friendly | Stoic

Easygoing | Stubborn

Traits:

Heart | Mind

Optimist | Pessimist

Team Player | Independent

Skills:

Main Skill: science/technology (but mostly science)

Second Skill: combat/physical

By the Book | Bend the Rules

KEY DECISIONS

Reason for joining the Wayhaven PD: best use of her science skills

Murphy bite:  Wrist | Neck | None

Murphy’s Fate: Captured | Escaped

Rescued: Love Interest | Sanja

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP

Love Interest: adam

Why them?: for veronica it’s kind of retroactive. the way i imagine their True Canon, they don’t have any real romantic moments in book 1, so she doesn’t seriously consider that adam might have feelings for her until well into book 2. (the training scene is when she’s like “oh. ok. i get it now.”) even then it takes a few more chapters for her to really process that, figure out how she feels, and recontextualize everything. like realizing that he loves her and then thinking back on their relationship, knowing that, makes her feel so held (sorry i have no better way to say it) in a way that just makes her want to cry.

to give some actual specific reasons, it’s his dedication and his constancy and hidden care/softness. and his very specific brand of... selflessness might be just left of the word i’m looking for, but hopefully you get me.

Bold, shy, or mixed?: neither! in theory it’s closer to bold, but it’s more just earnest.

What were their first impressions of each other?: disastrous. on top of finding him condescending and unpleasant, there are also a few moments where veronica genuinely wonders whether he’s even a good person. or, like, cares about people. but once she learns the truth of things, a lot of her initial anger gets transferred to rebecca.

adam, with the benefit of knowing what’s actually happening, has a slightly more favorable impression of veronica. yes he thinks she’s difficult and reckless and too emotionally driven, yes she’s making his job absolutely miserable, but he does begrudgingly respect that her accusations are always on the right track and she’s good at her job.

What do they find attractive about each other, mentally or physically?:

for veronica: she loooves his sense of humor. and how much faith he has in the people he cares about. physically, dimples <3. but everything about his smile really. and his nose!

for adam: veronica has a very blunt, unadorned sense of kindness to her that he really loves. the way she is kind before she is nice and values directness. physically, her eyes, they’re deep brown and so expressive.

What do they do to spend time together?: they’re both competitive so anything where they can compete on the same team is fun. (competing against each other is fun too, but also like. exhausting. for them and everyone.) maybe puzzles or other things where it feels like they’re “winning” or solving something together. i have spent an embarrassing amount of thought on veronica and overw*tch esp*rts and she would absolutely make adam learn how to play main tank so they could queue as a tank duo. but most of the time i think they don’t Do specific things together; they just hang out. just talk with each other. perhaps snuggle.

What is their favorite memory together?: in current canon... lol. veronica really just treasures any time adam relaxes around her but those moments always get Ruined. even once they’re well into a relationship, i think veronica’s favorite memory would still be something small like a random time he said something funny and they both laughed together and they were outside and the sky was pretty.

What are their love languages?: acts of service for both of them, but especially adam. veronica... probably lots of words of affirmation and physical touch. they’re both bad at blocking out time for themselves in the first place, so quality time can get neglected especially at first.

How do they handle being apart from one another?: pretty well i think! once they’re in an established relationship at least, before that it’s probably harder. but adam can distract himself with work, and veronica is good at focusing on whatever’s in front of her (whether that’s work or she’s away on vacation or something). if neither of them is too busy, veronica calls every night and they stay on a while, half talking and half just keeping each other company.

Do they argue? How do they handle arguments and disagreements? How do they make up?: i think arguments are fairly rare! yes they’re both insanely stubborn, but they also understand each other pretty well (especially once in a relationship) and are very sympathetic to where the other is coming from. unless both of them are extremely stressed, one of them crumbles when they start genuinely arguing like "i don't want to fight ok, let's take a second."

What does their future look like?: who knows! i haven’t decided whether veronica will turn. i think she probably will, just because i do not want my main pairing for this IF to make me very sad all the time, but like. i’m not fully committing until i see a reason pop up in canon. as of book 3′s final demo, it’s not on her radar at all; she knows she loves adam and wishes they could Talk, but ultimately doesn’t expect or even want a relationship right now (because she doesn’t want to deal with dating one of rebecca’s agents OR with the logistics of being in a committed relationship with an immortal being). it’s just all so foreign to her current state of mind that it’s really hard to say!

Anything else you'd like to share: do you know how hard it was to answer some of these considering veronica wasn’t sure they were even, like, on decent terms for such a large portion of the canon content

BEST FRIEND RELATIONSHIP

Best friend: morgan and farah are essentially joint besties but i’ll go with M

Why them?: i think they appreciate each other’s no bullshit attitude. morgan likes that veronica doesn’t take herself too seriously and respects/relates to the way she tackles problems (quickly, head-on, and without complaint but also without pretending that it doesn’t suck?). veronica appreciates morgan’s bluntness, likes bantering with her, and in general just likes being around people that have quiet/steady presences.

What were their first impressions of each other?: neither of them had much of a first impression honestly. morgan barely thought of veronica at all beyond “she’s annoying,” and kept to herself so much that any dislike veronica had of morgan took a backseat to her dealing with the rest of unit bravo.

What do they do to spend time together?: lots of just sitting in the same room and listening to (low volume) music, veronica spends a lot of time hunting for songs morgan might like. morgan is also her go-to sparring/training buddy. and there are semi-frequent movie nights where veronica shows farah her favorite old shitty B movies, and sometimes morgan will tag along just to sit in the room with them or affectionately talk shit.

Anything else you'd like to share: i’ll talk a little about N! obviously veronica and nate respect, trust, and like each other, but she finds him the hardest of UB to connect with. they’re both people who wear their compassion on their sleeves but keep a lot of their hearts/themselves held back, so they just kind of circle each other, especially since like... nate values politeness and is very sweet in how he relates to people, while veronica values directness and is more jokey/lighthearted to put people at ease. idk how well i’m communicating this; as of the book 3 demo it’s getting easier, but their friendship is still newer/more... nebulous? than the others.

OTHER RELATIONSHIPS (Feel free to go in depth!)

Relationship with Rebecca: so strained. veronica has come to terms with rebecca’s absences throughout her childhood, but there’s newer resentment over... a lot of things, but how she handled the murphy case especially. veronica hates being kept in the dark, and even more than that she hates being rebecca’s priority. it’s difficult to reconcile her childhood and present images of rebecca, and she’s angry that rebecca is so freely and recklessly choosing her, now, to the point of endangering others if she has to, especially when she never felt like rebecca’s choice before. and incredibly frustrated/confused by how often the lines between their professional and familial relationships are blurred and what rebecca actually wants from her.

Relationship with Rook: veronica takes after rook a lot. in stat terms, the only trait they don’t share is stoic, and even then that’s veronica’s least extreme stat. people always told her how like her father she was growing up, and it’s a comparison she took/takes a lot of pride in! she looks up to him based on the stories, but more recently is uncomfortable with the comparisons. veronica would never have even come back to wayhaven if her life panned out as planned, let alone become a detective or joined the agency. that makes her doubt herself, and she feels like that doubt is letting rook down somehow.

rook is also part of the reason her relationship with rebecca isn’t as bad as it could be. she knows that rook loved her, and that he would want his family to be there for each other, so she feels obligated to at least try to make things better. but it’s really hard for her to move past everything to connect with rebecca (which also makes her feel like she’s disappointing rook).

Relationship with Bobby: they were together for a long time and veronica thought she loved him a lot! it was her first relationship, so she wasn’t sure a) what a “bad partner” looked like, or b) how to even be in a relationship or rely on someone in that way. so they spent a lot of time together and had great superficial chemistry, but veronica didn’t have enough experience with not feeling neglected to realize how shallow it was, or notice the red flags when she did occasionally open up. the plagiarism fiasco was a slap in the face, especially because it cost her internships/grad school apps/whatever, i don’t have the details, and forced her to move back to wayhaven after school. she’s still very hurt by it and finds it hard to be around bobby.

Relationship with Verda: due to the above plagiarism fiasco, veronica was pretty depressed when she moved back home, and disliking her job didn’t help. she was extremely jealous when verda was hired and wanted to hate him. but it did not take long for that to crumble into respect/admiration, and eventually into close friendship! verda is a role model for her; they bond over science; they joke easily and have good chill fun. she was really excited to see him piecing together the truth about the supernatural and then devastated to see how he reacted. she feels insanely guilty and thinks it was selfish of her to let him figure it out, but is also cautiously optimistic about making it up to him as of the book 3 demo.

Relationship with Tina: very close! veronica isolated herself when she came back to wayhaven after school, and she is so grateful to tina for being her closest friend and link to the rest of the world during that time. hates keeping the supernatural from her, though. she didn’t like lying to tina to begin with, but she feels even worse about it now that verda knows, and now that tina has clearly picked up on something being wrong but she still can’t say anything.

Relationship with the Mayor: cannot stand him. hates the way he talks about rook, hates the way he talks to rebecca. she cooperates as necessary but doesn’t bother hiding her lack of patience/respect for him.

Relationship with Capt. Sung: basically fine. i think veronica might be a little too casual for him in the way she works, but she always gets the job done so he’s not too bothered by it. (she is ‘bend the rules,’ but more ‘strict rules aren’t important as long as you’re still doing good work’ than the ‘boooo fuck paperwork’ variety. so it’s mostly fine.) she also appreciates him as a minor link to rook.

Relationship with Haley: very friendly, but not super close. they get along great and could make pleasant conversation for hours, but ultimately don’t know each other super well despite the familiarity of growing up together.

Relationship with Elidor: such a comforting presence for veronica during her recovery! she is so grateful, so fond.

Relationship with Tapeesa/Vieno: veronica loves vieno’s cranky-yet-friendly vibe and they get along well! not close, but will stop to chat whenever they pass each other.

Relationship with Unit Alpha: loves their energy. always looks forward to the next opportunity to chat with them, and fully supports any harmless dunking on UB even if she rarely joins in.

Relationship with the Maa-alused: going through the house of mirrors and then coming home for them to appear in her apartment and infect bobby was one of thee worst experiences of her life, and it’s hard for her to get past that + the illness in general. sympathizes with them, and got them to sign the treaty, but is still kind of unsettled by everything that happened and by falk.

Do they have any other important relationships, past or present? (Relatives, friends, etc.?): some vague figures i have in mind but no one i’ve really developed. a couple friends from college, and maybe an elderly couple that lives on her childhood street and used to check in her.

PERSONAL BIO

Describe their personality: her usual demeanor is very warm and casual. sincere but private--she’s pretty blunt and likes to be direct with people, but steers conversations away from personal topics. likes to joke around and doesn’t take herself that seriously. but behind all this, she’s extremely stubborn and won’t shy away from conflict if she thinks you’re in the wrong (which is why she seems like a different person in the first half of book 1. UB is surprised by how like... chill and nice she is once they clear the air). a workaholic, self-reliant and secure but still pretty hard on herself, takes a lot of responsibility for the people around her.

Strengths: so dedicated. honest and trustworthy, has a strong moral compass and can always be counted on to do her absolute best. flexible and intuitive, her brain works really fast.

Weaknesses: cannot compartmentalize or separate herself from a case, throws herself so recklessly into everything (in terms of both physical danger and emotional burnout). doesn’t necessarily hold grudges but has a hard time letting go of hurt, still can’t think objectively about bobby or rebecca.

Where in the world is their Wayhaven?: somewhere on the US east coast idk what to tell you. perhaps a carolina or a virginia.

What is their personal history?: veronica was pretty social and well-liked around wayhaven growing up. she was known as just a really good kid; she was an overachiever and got along with almost anyone. in college, she felt like she was free of something and took a very work hard/play hard approach to life. always doing or going, whether it was for school or work or fun. she really enjoyed life during this time but crashed and burned pretty hard when she and bobby broke up; a lot of her plans were delayed until the plagiarism incident was resolved and she didn’t really have the heart to pursue them afterwards.

a year or so after graduating, she returned to wayhaven with the intention of taking one more year to regroup, and she has been stuck there longer than she meant to be and has kind of hit a wall when book 1 starts.

If they weren't a detective, what would their dream job be?: she was on track to become a biochemist and it was her dream job but then the main plot happened to her.

Anything else you'd like to share: i don’t really know enough to fully explain this, but no OC i love is a cop so like. i think maybe the job she took when she got back to wayhaven was a douglas-esque receptionist role for detective reele’s private office. then reele retired and small town politics + veronica’s history of useful contributions to cases in her downtime at work led to her being pressured to take up the mantle. it’s hard to explain why she’s a detective when she so deeply does not want to be one but i am Trying (or maybe she would have jumped at the chance to do something marginally closer to forensics?? who knows)

RANDOM FACTS

Zodiac sign: aries is what i assigned her when i first made her and i think it suits her! plus it’d be fun for her and M to be twins. this goes hand-in-hand with my birthday commitment issues though

Hobbies: music (she plays guitar and bass and sings a little), running, gaming unfortunately. i could also see her having been into boxing or some martial art but idk what exactly!

Likes: early morning stillness, DIY projects, t-shirts with inexplicable slogans and other weird thrift store finds

Dislikes: overly sweet food or drink, when cold weather lasts too long, being lied to or “protected” from the truth

Drink of choice: something with gin maybe. also feels a great fondness and gratitude for cheap wine.

Starbucks order: i truly know nothing about coffee. is it weird to order black coffee at starbucks

Favorite food: variations on spicy chicken soup! she eats a lot of crockpot meals for convenience and they’ve grown on her, and she has a few different recipes based on whatever she has on hand.

Favorite color: maybe like a rusty orange

Favorite music: she will listen to anything, but her favorite is probably folk rock, or sometimes stuff with soul or old school country vibes. big thief is a good example of an artist she’d be into i think! also was very into the indie music scene in her college town and still follows some of those bands.

Favorite genre (and favorite movie/book/etc): loves old, campy, unselfconsciously optimistic sci-fi. loves star trek tos. also a fan of documentaries of all kinds.

Favorite season: summer

Anything else you'd like to share: a kiss for you reading this mwah

[regulusfate]

Soldier, I can’t love you [ but I do ]

Part One

ship: nottpott — harry x theo

word count: 3586

tw: injuries, mentions of death, swearing, war

If this was how he was going to die .. no damn he was not happy about it.

He could feel it, the breaking skin shifting beneath his clothes, glued with the aftermath of rain to his skin, patched with mud and long dried stains of blood. He gave a short exhale, through the spiking pain of his shin with each footfall as his fingers seemed to mould into the creases of Potter’s jacket.

His arm was slung around his shoulders, and Theo wanted to feel something close to resentment as his eyes squinted through the dark of the night, their aching bodies colliding with each gruelling step along the old country road. Wanted too. But instead was stuck with the burden of relief in his own treacherous emotions.

“You’re not going to die Nott”

He jerked a little, catching the bubble of pain behind his gritted teeth as his foot stumbled and struck a loose stone on the ground, weeds crawling up against the road and threatening to claw at his dragging ankle. The makeshift bandage of cloth rubbed, and holy fuck the cut was not deep but it stung like hell.

Potter glanced at him, those eyes, his tanned skin shadowed by the darkness but those eyes, deep with a soldier's gaze, polished with something warm, and they rolled up towards the sky. Theo bristled, but didn’t ask how Potter knew. Maybe he’d said it allowed, his lips seemed to do that more frequently now, the consequence of a lack of human interaction he supposed.

“Oh yes, my saviour,” he bit back instead, and there’s more relief rolling down his back because at least he still had sarcasm. Except he was, he was being saved by Harry goddamn Potter and he didn’t entirely hate it.

Rather him than — well , just about anyone.

“How’d you find me?”

He asks before their silence could feel as threatening as the noise, and Potter shifted his hand, Theo could feel it curling tighter into the side of his jacket. For the first time since his figure had appeared before his hazy eyes twenty four hours ago he asked the question that had been rattling around his head.

“How’s your leg?”

Theo sighs through his nose, and scowls.

“Would it kill you to answer my questions?” He snapped, swinging his head against his aching muscles to glare into the shadows of his face. Potter had a stubble growing on his jawline.

They talked about that once.

‘Ginny hexed Michael , you should’ve seen the moustache’

‘I’m not sure I want that image, thank you’ his nose wrinkled automatically

‘Not a fan of facial hair?’ Harry was grinning, he could hear the smile in his voice, their bodies pressed up in the sheets on the floor. Theo turned his head, his vision skewered by messy locks, curling in their growth and shifted himself closer.

‘Not on Michael Corner.’ He muttered and they fell into a gentle silence.

‘I don’t think I’d like it,’ Harry mused after a moment, and they’re moving again, both of them, and then Theo is met with his face staring back.

‘I think you could pull it off.’

A lifetime ago, and Theo could hardly remember what got them to that moment. It felt easier then, and harder, like some paradox coiled around his chest until his ribs hurt, and that smile seemed the only way to loosen the rope.

He didn’t love him. He wasn’t sure he knew what love was. He wasn’t sure if he could give that love. It was a companionship that began with a cup of tea in a cafe and Draco Malfoy.

Potter had been alone, Theo had been intrigued, and Malfoy had been in a bad mood. Or maybe he’d been in a good one. Draco was hard to read like that, he liked to pretend but theo wasn’t sure even Draco knew what he was pretending to be. He never did a very good job. Potter hadn’t risen to it, the bait Malfoy was spitting on the table, they’d caught eyes past the blonde’s pointed ear and shared a resigned look that simply said ‘he’s at it again’.

They say it’s history from there, but Theo would disagree, the rest had not been history, the rest had been an abundance of messy talks and soft cotton blankets and spitting venom and trust. trust. where had that gone?

“-heo? your leg?”

As of his memories had been encased in the same haunting night, the world moulded back into reality and he coughed the bitterness from his tongue.

“It’s fine.”

Potter hummed, his muscles shifting and Theo felt himself lean into the opening a little more, the silent offering as they came to notice a bulging light up ahead that was gone as quickly as he blinked, as his weight transferred a little more to Potter's hands.

He’d grown. That annoyed Theo.

“I was passing through.”

Not really an answer, and Theo felt his teeth grind a little more, his jaw beginning to ache as Potter jerked them off the road towards the bushes.

“Where-?”

Instinctively he began to pull back. They’d been picked off one by one before, there’d been rumours and whispers like forest fires sparking their way through the stragglers, the lost that kept on running with nowhere to hide. He’d heard all about the once with false safety, lured out to safe houses to find themselves in the hands of the enemy.

He’d heard it from Creevey, who’d seen MacMillans body.

“Easy, Nott,” And it was the softest Potter had sounded as his body recoiled backwards, and he found he couldn't move anyway, a dizzying spin as his leg shook beneath his weight. “Here.”

The world swam for a moment, as Potter released him, and Theo felt his fingers twitch. A hand was clasped on his shoulder, loose enough for him to rip off if he must. He lifted his ankle from the found and found himself gripping the hand, needing that anchor. There was a shuffle, and then a ripple in front of his eyes and he watched the wards split open like a bulge, a tear in barbed wire nuts enough for them to slip through.

Potter didn’t release his wand, and Theo would have thought him mad if he had. He’d already proven his identity, it were to be believed. There were a thousand reasons not to trust this, and yet he couldn’t think of a single one.

So he heaved a breath and stumbled through the wards, hoping he wasn’t about to be murdered. He’d take dying roadside with Potter over that.

Stretched out before him came gravel, and Theo recognised it must have been an old muggle pub and car park, turned into a base. It looked, in a strange sort of way, rather comforting. Nothing like to leaky cauldron, for one, it was still standing. It was rickety, like some old medieval tavern, his eyes scanned the shapes of the wood and the old words etched in. There were lights, he wondered if that were a stupid idea, but the lanterns were warm and the windows alight was more inviting than anything had been the past few years.

They enjoyed history, himself and Blaise, not when Binns was teaching but their own history lessons. They’d grab library books and disappear to a corner or back up to their dorm. It began out of obligation to have high grades in everything, and then it became something they found interesting .. even, on occasion, the muggle stuff.

Potter's arm was back around his waist, and they made their way across the gravel to the door. There was a knock, and Theo gripped the wall beside them as Potter leaned closer , loosening his grip to murmur something through the door.

There were more secure ways to check. Theo wondered if they were being reckless on purpose.

Weasley was there leaning in the doorway with that infuriating smirk looking far too relaxed and a raised eyebrow.

“They buggered you well and good then.”

“You’re as subtle as ever.” He drawled back, and Weasleys smirk widens a little more, there’s a glint in his eye, something ravenous and Theo gets it. They all do. It’s finding those snippets of normality, those arguments they once hated, they come to crave - but it’s too dangerous to truly argue, it means losing sense and they couldn’t afford that.

Potter shifted impatiently, and shot a pointed look at the youngest Weasley male — no , no the youngest Weasley now. It was in the lines on his face, drawn and scarred. He’d heard about her death some time ago. Something passed between them silently, and the red head stepped back to let them through.

Theo would be lying if he said there wasn’t a small pang of jealousy there.

They used to do that across the hall, or the classroom , sometimes in the corridors. Hogwarts was so long ago , he wasn’t even sure it was still standing.

Theo hobbled over the step, and there’s something washing over his face. More wards. The familiar ones, numerous occasions, the last ditch attempt to keep the enemy out of it were the case. And nothing happens.

He lets out a breath he’s not aware he’d held and he grunted, as Potter dislodged him into a chair. It’s still laid out like a pub, and there are figures scattered across the room, few and far and many pressed as far away from the others as possible. There’s a fire going in the corner, the fireplace seemed the only magnificent thing about it, and yet Theo finds his eyes drawn up to the bar.

Dean Thomas. He’s sat behind the counter drying a glass. It something so normal, intimate even, as if he had always been there and that there was not a war raging over their heads.

But Thomas’s eyes are red, and he wonders if Finnegan is alive. Last he heard, a quidditch stadium up north had been blown to pieces, nobody knew whose side did it. The dead had yet to be collected and no names given, it wasn’t safe.

“What’s the latest?”

That draws Theo’s attention, their bodies half caught in the light, half silhouetted by the dark, maybe if he were not as exposed as them, he would’ve have found those grim expressions intimidating.

“Three of ours went down this morning. No word from Carlisle.”

Something expanded in his chest for a moment, like this gallon of hope and the expansive gallows of the sea infused to the flesh of his lungs.

There were mostly rumours of bases here and there. But if they had Carlisle ..

He sucked in a breath and coughed, with a sharp groan that slipped past his gritted teeth as he misguided his footing and smacked his leg against the table.

A hand gripped his shoulder, and his eyes flickered open from the swallowing pools of darkness that threatened to succumb to his body. Harry stared down at him, the concern billowing in his eyes were warm, though disconcerting with the shadows still tattered across his face and stiff with a war hardened stone.

Theo assumed he found what he was looking for as his eyes finished their scrutiny of his face and jerked up to Weasley once more.

Again, those silent eyes and he couldn’t decipher it. He missed friendship.

[tigerdrop]

okay kind of obsessed with the body swap art tho. idk why i just like benrey getting to bully gordon with his own body, his own voice, and i like gordon trying to navigate whatever weird shit benrey’s got going on. gordon not being able to figure out or control whatever organs in benrey’s throat produce sweet voice so it’s just spewing whatever emotions he’s feeling at random (including Horny? uh oh. can’t hide that as easily as a surprise boner can you gordon?)

this ask kicked me into actually thinking about it and your brain is so huge. massive. i lost control

last night i was struggling to articulate thoughts for the body swap thing but this is kickstarting me. i. really love bodyswap stuff........(sighing) i am yet again having to confront the fact that i latched onto an embarrassing number of Things after having first read about them in [REDACTED]. truly hate being alive

so like......potions. you can get into a whole lot of weird stuff with potions. truly loving that darnolds 5-minute existence gives me an excuse to think of the stupidest horny potions scenarios

and why in the fuck wouldnt he have a bodyswap potion just chillin in his lab. why wouldnt benrey crack that bad boy open and take a sip while darnolds bitching at him "dont you touch any of those goddamn potions. im not gonna tell you which ones which so if you die, you die"

gordon claps benrey on the back afterwards like "well, thats a risk im perfectly happy for him to take" but uh oh you fucking buffoon. the touch is what activates it. and shit just starts spinning and schlorping in his mind and he nearly falls over clutching the lab bench next to him and when he cracks his eyes back open, hes........shorter. and everybodys asking if somebodys okay but that somebody isnt him and hes kind of miffed about that

and then gordons head turns and he sees Himself being steadied on his feet by tommy and darnold and hes like.......guys? guys. hello! and the sound of benreys voice coming out of him with that irritated and loud timbre makes everybody turn to face him........b/c that is so insanely weird coming from him

im like way into the idea of benreys, like, Eye Darkness Thing transferring to gordons face when their bodies are swapped, too. its just his malevolent energies manifesting physically no matter what body hes in

Wait god wait. Like. Benrey in Gordon's body and he gets horny for some reason and has to live Gordon's fucking pained life of the suit edging the hell outta him- Bc now Gordon can actually fucking jerk off for the the first time in days. No edging bullshit from the hev suit

benreys newfound appreciation for why gordons such a bitch all the time

RRRRRRRRRRR gordon able to go wild beating his meat that night finally but right before he does he stops because hes looking down at. 8)!

YES EXACTLY....... gordon freeman humbled by the sight of benreys huge meat. except its his meat now 

at first he only feels mildly weird about jacking it when hes not even in his own body right now but hes been edged for days now and hes just thinking "if i can just get this out of the way now, ill be clear-headed for however fucking long im stuck in black mesa. maybe this is why ive been so goddamn stupid lately. yeah"

but then he gets some time and space to himself at long last and unzips and the shock of seeing benreys huge uncut dick instead of his own brings him back to reality like "?oh my god what the fuck am i doing"

embarrassment! guilt! but also hes still fuckin horny and eventually curiosity wins out. whats the harm, right. its not like he has to say anything about it. and gordon freeman is (mostly) heterosexual and hes never been this up close and personal with a foreskin before and hes just......curious. scientifically

maybe hes even.......locked himself inside one of the company restrooms while hes at it. just to make sure hes got privacy. and there is a mirror right there........  he was gonna just bust one out and leave as fast as he can but now hes curious

starts. thumbing the hem of his shirt under benreys vest. starts lifting it up experimentally just to see where all that hair leads. out of curiosity. and seeing the curve of benreys stomach peek out in the mirror makes him hiccup on sweet voice inadvertently 

weirdly enough theres a part of him thats both relieved and disappointed that hes never seen that color before

he never envisioned that seeing benrey like this would be a turn-on but like......with that vest and that helmet on he just looks like some kind of fuckin roundish rectangle shape. but now gordons intimately familiar with how his body feels to move around in......what hes gotta look like underneath all that armor and ill-fitting work clothes......and the hornier he gets the stupider he gets

takes off the helmet.......just to test the waters. if somebody manages to bust in, thats not so weird to explain. and hes surprised by the shock of black hair he finds under there. he doesnt know what he was expecting....but honestly, benrey looks, like, kind of nice like that. more like a person

im slightly obsessed with the idea of benrey just not even registering as a Real Guy, physically, to gordon, one that he could possibly be attracted to, until hes out of his work uniform.......like hes more of an icon of a person than anything up until that point. pure signifier. no substance

like......you know......the equivalent of how benreys HL model registers to 99% of people watching the series. sure, thats not necessarily anything youd register as "hot", most likely, but then u peel that away and its like........Oh

the model is the icon and the representation of the icon is the real

and gordon runs a hand thru benreys hair and tries out one of those shitty little smirks benrey likes to use on him and the effect is.......dizzying. is that him? is that what benrey really looks like to him?? he feels fuckin salacious doing this

he can even.........get his face up close to the mirror and really look at those teeth

run his tongue over them experimentally.......feel their sharp edges.......and, no, theyre not sharp like a knife, but they are definitely pointy. and surprisingly well-kept......hes never seen benrey brush his teeth before but clearly he must. theyre so smooth and slick under his fingertips

and then he flushes and drops his hand b/c hes getting some weird fucking thoughts right now........but looking back up at himself in the mirror and seeing benreys face all wide-eyed and red makes the issue worse

oh, you really like seeing him look like that, dont you. and gordons pissed b/c this isnt even his fucking brain but its still whispering the exact same neurotic, self-defeating shit at him that hes trying very hard to tamp down

and then he starts getting a little crazier. taking off the vest. he can explain that, no problem. its just kind of hot. heavy. he needed a breather! its normal. just in here to splash some water on his face and cool down, nothing wrong with that. but that just makes benreys shirt all the easier to access.......and he tugs the hem of it just a little higher and looks at himself in the mirror and runs a thumb over the curve of his stomach, where the hair is thickest, and he shivers

gordon freeman is deeply normal and would never get off to the sight of a guy with arms the size of his head tentatively dragging the hem of his shirt up, just for gordon to look at him closer

hands shaking from nerves as he decides to loosen his tie and start unbuttoning and he sees more and more hair-dusted skin and muscle and fat and a thin sheen of sweat reveal itself

> i could see gordon trying to tense and flex the muscles a bit just because hes normal

HE IS, AND HE WOULD

he doesnt know when "being horny b/c hes been pent up and edged for days and he just needs to get his rocks off real quick so he can be normal again" turned into "being horny b/c the way benrey looks under his uniform is scary good to him" but if he thinks about that too hard hes gonna have a panic attack

tells himself that its all just because he hasnt been able to get off. thats why hes thinking this shit. hell stop thinking it once he nuts

> hey this is a quick aside but yknwo how he talks to himself in third person sometimes? what if he does and then kinda does a mental double take at how his name sounds coming out of benreys mouth, with his voice. ok thats it goodbye

oh ym god thats making me go insane. doing it by accident and then.........saying it again. on purpose. just to hear benreys voice doing it

getting one knee hitched up onto the sink and leaning forward with his arm braced against the mirror and his forehead leaning on his arm and tugging benreys dick (no, idiot, thats your dick right now, stop thinking about it) and tentatively groaning out his own name and it comes out so hoarse and desperate that it punches him straight in the gut (too bad, hes thinking about it, he cant not think about it, not with the way he looks and sounds right now)

> remember in the series when benrey called him gordon one (1) time and he noticed immediately and was like..i think thats the first time youve called me by my name.

he looks so fucked out and slutty in that mirror that it almost makes him pass out

eyes darting like hes trying to commit every single detail of how he looks right now to memory (b/c he is. he fucking is. he wants to make benrey look like this so fucking bad. just for him. wreck him and get him flushed and sweaty and panting and moaning gordons name and jesus christ, okay, thats where his brains taking him. okay. cool)

hes dizzying himself thinking about it. he knows benreys hot for him by this point, theoretically. assuming his weird come-ons werent just jokes. benrey would probably let him do this to him. benrey would probably want him to touch his dick. gordon thinks about how good it might feel for his own hand to be on benreys dick and he cant get himself solidly into one headspace or another - hes gordon, hes benrey, he wants to touch, he wants to be touched, he wants to feel his own hand on this dick (and god, maybe he could. maybe he could ask. wouldnt that be crazy.)

benrey in gordons suit and gordons body and gordons face leaning over him, b/c fuck, he really is tall compared to benrey, hes figured that one out awful quick. and gordons (his) hand on his (benreys) dick and stroking him and leering down at him with those dark, dark eyes that dont even really look like his eyes, anymore, not with the way theyre shaded over, and hearing his (benreys) (his) voice moaning out his (gordons) (definitely gordons) name and all the little "pleases" and "thank yous" that he cant stop letting out b/c benreys voice was made for it, made to beg and whine and ask so nicely, and his heads spinning as he comes all over the fucking mirror and sink

> i wonder if this could be combine with the ideas that parts of the self or like mind is still a bit left behind if that makes sense, like with benrey also wanting this that part of the reason gordon wants to say those things

"do you want to fuck him or do you want to be him?" well my good bitch, perhaps you can have a little of both. welcome to my personal hell

hes never come so hard in his fucking life and the noise that rips out of him when he does, finally, after days of being jerked around (ha ha) makes his ears burn with shame

now if you really wanna go crazy. imagine that benreys up and walking around this whole time b/c being edged by his stupid broken suit is making it impossible for him to sleep, and he hears........all of this. stops and presses himself flat agains tthe wall to listen

he cant actually get into the bathroom to scare the shit out of gordon/offer to join in/etc, b/c this stupid flesh body of gordons cant even noclip, but he can press his ear to the door and. listen. and he can flush all the way down to his chest when he hears gordon in there, moaning out his own name with benreys voice

so thats what gordon wants him to do, huh. thats what hes thinking about.

poor benrey, tho. he gets to experience just a lick of the endless fucking suffering that gordon goes thru every single day just by being alive, and "the HEV suit trying and failing to suck him off to completion while his dick twitches against the hard metal of the interior every time gordon groans in there" is just one small part of it

anyway . see ya. my final message

[baegarrick]

idk if you've read/seen the book/movie but just... love, simon zukka au ?? sokka as simon and zuko as bram because blue spirit ( though if we r going for it personality-wise maybe switch their roles? idk ! ) — also in this one the friends are exponentially better

ok im so sorry I haven’t actually seen love, simon or read the book but.... I HAVE ACCESS TO WIKIPEDIA SO LETS GO

ok so I was considering Zuko as Simon bc of the musical thing/the loving parent (Iroh), the girl he sees Sokka (Bram) kiss is Suki.... but also bc I just love writing Zuko (maybe I’ll parse that out at the end)

BUT lets go with Sokka as Simon bc I also love writing the Gaang

Sokka is Simon

Katara is both Nora and Abby

Jet is Martin

Aang is Nick (but slightly also Abby)

Zuko is blue/Bram

Suki is Leah (but slightly also Nick)

Toph is Ethan (sorta)

Haru is Lyle

Ok so, obv this follows the plot of the movie/book. Sokka is a gay + closeted junior, not that his dad isn’t loving, but he’s in the military, and occasionally makes homophobic jokes, and Sokka feels like he has to be tough for him, esp. since his mom died. But he really likes making people laugh and so he joins the school musical, which is a comedy this year.

His best friend is Suki, who he’s known since he was a kid, but he’s kinda been withdrawing from her since he got to high school. He loves her, he really does, but everyone always thinks they’re dating, and it kinda makes him uncomfortable. He tried to like her, when they were younger, but he just... isn’t into girls. His friend group is Suki, Katara (his sister, and it was the two of them against the world since their mom died, but he’s pulled away from her too), Aang (a transfer freshman from out of state), and Toph (who spent up till 8th grade at a private school).

Also in the musical is Zuko, a hot senior who’s like.... super lofty. He gets really into theater, but he rarely interacts with people outside his friend group, like he’s better than them or something. (Mai and Ty Lee are also there, they’re Zuko’s friends.) Not in the musical, but in one of the other clubs Sokka is in, is Jet. He got kicked off the football team for being too rough with the other team last year, so he mostly just hangs out behind the bleachers smoking.

Sokka’s on the school’s tumblr one day (shut up, Katara, I don’t have a tumblr!!) when he sees someone posted an anonymous confession saying they’re gay but they really don’t have anyone they can talk to because of their family situation. Sokka gets their email (BlueSpirit) and start emailing (BoomerangDude) them for a couple of months. He learns that Blue’s family has really high expectations of him, and since he’s only a year away from college he can’t mess them up because if he does he’ll be cut off, and he can’t afford college if that happens. He’s got a sadistic little sister (who isn’t actually terrible, she’s just got her own shit going on, and if shoving Zuko in the warpath of their father takes the spotlight off of her, all the better) who would absolutely out him if she knew, a girl he’s pretty sure wants to date him (Mai), and an after-school job (the tea shop) thats cutting into his extra-curricular activities.

This is.... really similar to Sokka, actually, and he likes making Blue laugh (they switch to chatting online sometimes, like discord or some chat app), and Blue has a lot of insights on things Sokka likes (some of the same music,

Meanwhile, Sokka ends up going to this tea shop he heard about from Blue (it had been a slip, Zuko had NOT meant to say too many personal details, but he’d mentioned getting some kind of boba drink) and studying there with his friends. While he’s there, he’s surprised to see Zuko, who he’s never spoken to outside of the musical they’re working on!! (At some point, Zuko checks his phone and laughs, and Sokka’s like, oh no, I’m crushing on.... TWO DUDES???? BAD SOKKA). He starts to wonder if maybe.... Zuko is Blue?? it generally sorta fits, he knows Zuko is also a senior, and the tea shop Blue mentioned.... (to be fair, though, they see like three other kids from school there, so it’s not really a niche place)

Before Sokka can test out this theory, though, there’s a Halloween party which Sokka goes to with his friends. (They go as the Power Rangers.) He sees Zuko there (he’s in some some Kabuki costume), but with him is.... Mai from the play. They’re making out, and Sokka feels his stomach drop-- he’s not gay and Sokka’s crushing on a straight guy. He gets drunk. He throws up in the bushes outside, and Katara finds him, chews him out, and then sneaks him back home.

He emails Blue again, drunk, and says some stupid stuff like he wishes things were easier, and that he thought he knew who Blue was, but he didn’t. (Blue doesn’t reply.)

He’s checking his email on a school computer in the library when the bell rings, and he doesn’t log out properly, and Jet, who is skipping class, finds Sokka’s emails. He confronts Sokka about them, and says he won’t reveal Sokka’s secret... if Sokka helps Jet get with Sokka’s hot sister. Sokka hates the idea, but also, the idea of being outed is really terrifying. So he says yes, and tries to talk up Jet to Katara, who’s a little surprised bc while she thinks Jet is hot, Sokka was super against Jet whenever she mentioned it. Katara is involved in school politics, and convinces Jet to pretend to be interested to spend time with her. (he ends up running against her...)

Around Thanksgiving, with all their extended family there, ribbing him about getting a girlfriend (asking about Suki), Sokka leaves and goes to sit on the roof. Katara finds him there, and demands he spill whats up and why he’s acting so weird, especially about Suki. (she looks freaked out for a moment, and is like.... oh my god, sokka, is suki pregnant?????? sokka blanches at that) He admits he’s gay, and she hugs him, and they stay out there until their dad sticks his head out the window and calls them inside.

Feeling guilty about Jet, Sokka admits to Blue their emails might have been compromised. Blue starts to back away, taking longer and longer to answer emails.

At a football game, Sokka runs into Haru, who starts asking him stuff, and Sokka wonders if he’s Blue, but it turns out Haru is interested in Katara. Upset, again, that he doesn’t know who Blue is, he encourages Jet to “go big or go home”-- and so Jet asks Katara out by bribing the kid who does the scoreboard to switch out his campaign ad for asking Katara out. Katara is shocked, as she thought Jet was really interested in her campaign. She slaps him.

Mad that Katara wasn’t interested after all, and from the slap, Jet outs Sokka anyway, posting the emails on the school’s gossip site. Katara, who was mad at Sokka, instantly forgives him and is on a WARPATH against Jet, but Sokka just wants it left alone. Suki shows up a few hours later, and finds him on the roof. She admits that she had a crush on him, which was why she never said anything when people asked if they were a couple, but she knew Sokka wasn’t interested in her, so she never pushed it. She’s sorry she made it difficult for him to come out to her.

Blue is upset their emails have leaked, and deletes his account.

He comes out to his dad later, in the car, on the way to school on the last couple of days before winter break. His dad takes it well, and apologizes for all of the jokes he used to make-- it doesn’t make it right, but it was the kind of things he and the other soldiers used to say to each other. He ends up taking them to this tea shop he heard about (it’s Zuko’s/Iroh’s shop), and while there, he comes out to the owner of the shop, Iroh, as sort of..... practice. It’s liberating and also terrifying. Iroh is super cool about it, and tells them about his own son, who passed away a few years ago in an accident, was gay. It’s way later than Sokka thought, and when he looks up from the conversation with Iroh, Zuko’s standing in the doorway. not wanting to deal with people from school, Sokka leaves the tea shop without waiting for his dad to follow him.

The next couple of days at school are rough. His friends stick by his side, but Jet’s friends are obnoxious and loud, and Katara punches one of them. She goes to the school, but they’re eternally unhelpful bc.... what can tey do... its not a school website..... Later, Toph tells Sokka she’s a lesbian, and it’s not that she’s hiding it, but... it’s already tough enough when people treat her like she’s glass because she’s blind. They all go home for winter break, and when they come back, Sokka is refreshed and determined not to be put down by a couple of assholes.

He’s wildly surprised when Blue posts on the school’s tumblr that he wants to meet Sokka at the school’s carnival. This draws a crowd, which makes Sokka worried he’s gonna be pranked, but when he sits down on the Ferris wheel, he’s surprised that Zuko from the tea shop/musical sits down next to him.

Zuko says he’s sorry for ignoring Sokka’s emails, and he’s sorry that Sokka got outed to the school, and it wasn’t his fault that Sokka was blackmailed, and he should have reacted better to it. Sokka apologizes too, because Zuko shouldn’t have to be outed either, which... is why they’re here? Zuko blushes, and says he came out to his uncle, who’s letting him stay with him, since he’s tired of going home to his shitty dad, and that he might go live with his mom while he’s in college. He admits the Mai thing at the party was a drunken misunderstanding, and that he likes Sokka. He thinks he’s funny, and they like the same things (theater, music, strange taste in food...), and he’s hoping after this... Sokka might like him too? (they kiss on the Ferris wheel, and Katara takes like, 30 pictures.)

....

alternatively////

Zuko as Simon au-- bc I just wanted to write it out. he lives with his uncle, who’s the loving parent here, not Ozai!! (or his Mom/stepdad but I kinda forgot they existed for like 5 minutes)

Zuko is Simon

Katara is Abby (she’s his lab partner, and they have the same temperment)

Azula is Nora, but she doesn’t really play a big role (she’s an asshole, but also she’s 14 and is Going Through Things. she’s also in the closet and in love with Mai, but she doesn’t know it yet. it takes her a couple of years to figure that out.)

Mai is Leah

Aang is Martin (but less of an asshole. just the embarrassing + frustrated bits.)

Sokka is blue/Bram

Suki is the girl at the party Sokka kisses

Ty Lee is Ethan

---

I HOPE THIS WAS OK, like I said I haven’t actually seen the thing, but now I actually know what the plot is about!! <3333

[shimmeringclouds]

Osomatsu - A Promise I'll Break

𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘱𝘦𝘳!𝘖𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘴𝘶 𝘟 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

"What do you think of death?"

The question was very sudden and out of the blue. You snapped your head over to the man beside you, sat casually in his seat with a steaming coffee mug in hand. His eyes, glowing a vibrant green, stared inquisitively at your tense figure as he sipped at his beverage, the skeletal mask that covered his lower face removing itself eerily.

"I...I'm not sure what you mean.." It was the truth. With a being like him asking a question like that, there could be a few dark undertones that you wished not to uncover.

"Well, y'know.." he gestured lazily with his free hand, black mist swirling around him in an unearthly manner. He didn't belong here. "A lot of people seem like their scared of death, finding it to be a horrifying journey that the naked eye can't witness.." he chuckled at that, allowing a shiver to run up your spine, "But sometimes, people see it as a blessing, in a way. A person's spirit can finally leave this world in peace."

He turned his gaze back to you.

"So, what do you think of it?"

You stared adamantly down at your own clear drink. Your fingers were enlarged under the water's image, pressing tightly against the glass. Small bubbles of air filtered around the liquid, rising to the top before bursting all to quickly.

"I'm not sure, sir.. It is true that it can be.. terrifying, staring death in the eyes," you shuddered again, "But I do have hope that there is something waiting for us.. A happier place, maybe."

The man hummed, leaning his head back to the stair at the ceiling, his brown hair flopping back over his scalp. Suddenly, he sat up straight, pointing at you.

"I told you to stop calling me 'sir!" You jolted, carefully manoeuvring your glass so that your water wouldn't spill. "C'mon, what do I have to do to at least get you to call me by my name? It's not hard! Say it with me: O-so-ma-tsu!"

With him being who he was, you would have thought that he would act more mature —wise, even — but he had no such personality traits. He instead acted like a man child in desperate need for attention, specifically from you. You hated it, because it meant you had to see him more often around your workplace, which only served to unnerve you. And he was either oblivious to this, or chose to purposefully ignore it.

You glanced over to the clock, eyes lighting up at the time. You swiftly stood up after swallowing down your glass of water, grabbing your coat and bag from the coatrack.

"You're leaving?" he frowned, swivelling in his chair to watch you. You barely spared him a look, unable to force yourself to stare back into those gleaming green eyes.

"Yes, my shift is over for today."

"Ah, I see... But don't forget!" he called after you before you could leave the room. "We have 'graveyard' shift tomorrow!" he grinned, watching you tense up at the shoulders.

You were outside the room now, facing the empty hallway, except it wasn't empty. Ghostly figures slipped past you every now and then, there skin and clothing wafting through the air like silk, although it wouldn't feel like the material at all, should you touch it. You knew that first hand.

"Safe travels, [Y/N]." was the last words you heard from him that night as you shut the door behind you, clutching at your bag tightly as you wove your way through the hauntingly empty corridors. All you wanted to do was go home.

»»-----　♔　-----««

The air was colder than you had anticipated, your fingers and face feeling numb to the cool night air. You sighed heavily as you finally made it inside the hospital, quickly making your way over to the staff room, where you knew he would be waiting oh-so eagerly for you.

As you turned down a hallway, you came to a sudden stop, barely preventing yourself from crashing into another nurse turning the same corner. You both jumped back with a noise of surprise, wide eyes regarding one another before relaxing.

"Oh, hey [Y/N]," the nurse chuckled, holding a hand to her chest. "You're on duty now?"

You gave no response, staring at something over her shoulder. She raised a brow as all colour seemed to drain itself from your face. "..[Y/N]..? Is everything okay?" she turned her head over her shoulder, frowning as she found nothing there.

But of course she wouldn't see anything. She wasn't born with this curse. She should be grateful, to not be able to see the decaying face of a remaining spirit, hovering over her with its jaw unhinged and eyes filled with nothing but darkness. You bit back the urge to vomit as it raised a rotting hand, shoving its jaw back into place with a sickening crack.

"Uh... Maybe you should get some water. I'll.. see you tomorrow, [Y/N]." The nurse left you quickly, and you knew she was looking back at you with odd glances. She would probably go and tell everyone else what had happened. You could practically hear the conversation already:

'That new girl is so weird, staring at nothing! It's like she's seeing things! She should get herself checked out, maybe she's not all good up there.'

"[Y/N]?"

You jumped, whipping around to find Osomatsu staring at you blankly. His cape-like jacket flowed behind him as he came closer to you, stopping just in front of you. His eyes flickered over your shoulder before returning to you as he tilted his head.

"You good? You were kinda just standing there."

You stammered for a moment, turning to look behind you and, to no surprise of your own, finding no spirit floating there like it was before. You sighed quietly, feeling a headache already coming on.

"I'm.. fine."

"..Good!" he smiled, walking past you with a beckon of his hand, " 'Cuz we have a lot of paperwork to get through and pass out, so let's not waste any time, yeah?"

Of course he wouldn't actually care for your wellbeing. With a twitch of your eye, you begrudgingly followed behind him, keeping your head low and ignoring the want to cover your ears to block out the ugly groans and wails of those others couldn't see. You wished you could be like them.

As soon as you sat down in that swivelling office chair, you willed your mind to switch onto autopilot, wanting to zone out the rest of the night as much as you could and get lost in your work. It would be easier to deal with the terrible hours you were having to endure. But no matter how hard you tried, this particular night seemed to want you completely aware of everything that was going on around you.

You were constantly jumping in your seat as spirit after spirit wandered in and out of the room, their whispering calls and cries for their loved ones ringing in your ears for minutes on end. The temperature in the room seemed to drop lower than room temperature, making you shiver. Not even the steaming mug of coffee beside you warmed you up.

And then, there was Osomatsu, who was supposed to be helping you, but was instead whining about everything that came to his mind, blabbering on non-stop and even snickering at you whenever you had a scare. It irritated you greatly, but you were also afraid. You couldn't exactly say anything back to him — not if you wanted your life ripped from you in the blink of an eye.

Just when you thought you had just about enough of it all, he spoke to you in a more serious tone.

"Y'know, I've heard some things about you."

You froze in your seat. You knew where this was going. This was the absolute last thing you had wanted.

"Well, I heard stuff about you before you even started working here. Word spreads real fast, don't you think?"

You grip on the computer mouse tightened. You needed him to stop. Talking.

"But you know how rumours are. You can't exactly trust them, seeing as how everyone just ends up twisting them to match their own ideals. So I figured I'd just ask you directly — makes things easier."

There was a moments silence, the sound of a chair squeaking beside you as he leaned forward in his seat becoming deafeningly loud in the quiet space.

"I heard that you working here has made it your fourth transfer this month."

"How did you—?"

"They say," he cut you off, cat green eyes locking onto your own coloured orbs as you turned towards him, "That it's because you say you're seeing things. Someone even said it's because you weren't deemed 'suitable' to work at a couple other hospitals. The things that you say you've seen... aren't exactly kid friendly, are they?"

You bit down on your lip hard. His lower face was obscured by that mask again, with its skeletal jaw and raw bone outlining the glow of his eyes dangerously as he grinned, as if he had struck gold. The scythe he always carried was resting across his lap, glinting under the light, a reminder of just how close death was to you.

"I.." Your voice wavered, hesitant to tell the truth, but you knew deep down that he probably already knew it, for a lot longer than you thought he did.

"It's not.. my fault.." you sighed, lowering your face into your hands and digging the heels of your palms into your eyes in a poor attempt to keep your tears at bay, the stress now catching up to you, "I don't want to see these.. these things all the time, but they won't go away.. they're everywhere.."

"What do you see?"

"...I see things like you." Your heart began to pick up speed as it thrummed in your ears, close to bursting as you finally plucked up the courage to speak.

"Things — no, people, that aren't alive anymore. Spirits, spectres, ghosts, whatever you want to call them. And —... And reapers, like you," You shuddered, "I can see it all. Wherever I go, they're always following me.."

Osomatsu still hadn't given you a response, and your worry spiked. You didn't want to open your eyes to witness another angry reaper, ready to chase you out of another job. The last one had almost caught you. You couldn't go through that again.

"I know who you really are, Matsuno," you still refrained from using his 'real' name, "But I swear, I'm not here to get in your way! I'm just here to do my job as a nurse, I want to help people! I don't.. I don't mean to disturb you. So, please... Please don't try to get rid of me. I really need this job.."

"Why would I try to get rid of you?"

You paused.

"The last reaper I ran into.. didn't like me all too much.." you grimaced at the memory. "He thought I was trying to save the souls he had to reap, and he chased me away from the hospital. I can't go back there, even if I wanted to.."

Osomatsu chuckled softly.

"Sounds like little Ichimatsu, alright.." he mumbled to himself, whilst you were too busy staring at him, bewildered that he had just laughed at you. Was this all a joke to him? You really hoped it wasn't.

He leaned back in his seat again, resting his arms behind his head in a relaxed position. Grinning at you, you watched as his mask and dark clothing slowly dissolved away, revealing the usual male nurse uniform that others had always seen, and you had rarely seen on him.

"I had a feeling you were an odd one," he hummed. "Ever since you stepped foot in this place, these old wisps have been gravitating towards you like a magnet."

"I'm sorry," you blurted. "They always seem to attach to me. I don't mean for it to happen—"

"I know, you don't need to start blubbering over it," he raised a hand. "If anything, you always want to just get away from them, and that's enough for me to know that you're not gonna ruin my own little gig I got here, too. So, how about we strike a small deal?"

He held out a gloved hand, still keeping that cattish smile plastered over his lips. You cocked a brow, suspiciously eyeing his outstretched palm.

"You promise to me that you won't get in the way of my 'work'," he used his free hand to make quote marks over the word, "and I'll promise not to mess with you either. Deal?"

"...It's not just you who messes with me here," you reminded him, just in time to catch another spirit wander into the room. It stared at you blankly for a moment, hollow eyes staring deep into your soul, then shifted over to Osomatsu before leaving again.

"Fine," he rolled his eyes as he groaned. "I'll make sure neither I nor the other spirits in this place mess with you. Is that better?"

Something deep in the back of your mind was screaming that it wasn't better. Trusting a reaper of all things was a bad idea, and making a deal with one was even worse. But, as you stared into his gleaming eyes, what choice did you have?

"..Just peachy.." you slipped your hand into his, the cold of his flesh seeping into your warm palm as he shook it twice firmly, his smile widening and showing off his shrunken fangs.

"Y'know, I have a feeling things are gonna get a little more interesting around here, now." You grimaced, snatching your hand away from him.

"I hope not."

"Ugh, you humans are all so boring.." he whined. You ignored him, turning back to your computer. As much as you hated admitting it to yourself, you couldn't deny that the weight on your shoulders had lightened just a small bit, enough for you to breath without having that constricting feeling in your chest.

»»-----　♔　-----««

Osomatsu should have known something was wrong.

A smooth four months had sailed by since your deal, and he would be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying your presence more and more as the days went by.

The one day where you didn't come in for work, though, he shrugged it off. Even when he had overheard that you hadn't called in to give any reasoning behind your absence, he didn't think too much of it. Humans were weak things compared to him, after all; if you needed a break, then he wouldn't dwell on it any longer.

That single day turned into two days. Then those two days turned into three days. Then those three days turned into three weeks.

Osomatsu grew more agitated by the day. His mood was visibly worsening, snapping at anyone when they would tell him they didn't know where you were. He didn't understand why he felt that way. He didn't know why he suddenly felt so angry at the fact that he didn't know where you were. The deep pit in his stomach was telling him that something bad had happened. He should be worried.

But why should he be worried? You were a human. You were weaker than him, had less of a lifespan than him, so what if you could see spirits and random shit like he could? He was a reaper, an all powerful being that could suck the soul out of your body with a single tap of his scythe. Why should he care about what's happened to you?

He shoved those feelings deep into the back of his mind, attempting to erase them as quickly as he could. He didn't need these insignificant feelings getting in the way of his work.

It wasn't enough, though.

No one had expected to see you come into his hospital room, wrapped in numerous bandages and heavy casts on your right arm and leg. Your bruised eyes were shut closed as a small patch of stitching made itself clear on your left brow, your breathing deep as if you were simply sleeping, but he knew it was so much more than that.

Just one look, and all those feelings came bursting to the forefront of Osomatsu's mind as he stared at you in bewilderment.

"She came in last night," someone was telling him, but he wasn't focusing on them. "She was taken from her home about a month ago, and was beaten pretty brutally. We're still trying to figure out why and how this has happened, but until she's feeling well enough, she'll be under your care, Matsuno."

Whoever was speaking to him left the room not soon after, leaving you and Osomatsu alone. He was still staring at your battered form, eyes shifting from a muddy brown to a fluorescent green as he eyed the glow around your body. It was flickering, significantly dimmer than the last time he had seen you —back then, you were glowing.

His black clothing slipped itself over his uniform like a shadow, a hood falling low over his forehead as his mask settled onto his lower jaw, lips pressed into a firm line as he grasped his scythe. Stepping towards you, he hovered his scythe over your heart for a moment before shifting the sharpened tip to your temple, tapping it once as the bright hospital room fell away into darkness.

»»-----　♔　-----««

You stared down at the flowing white dress that had draped itself over you. Rubbing the material between your fingertips, you barely acknowledged how soft it felt before letting it fall to your side with a sigh.

The luminosity of your dress was the only thing to stand out in this darkness that surrounded you. You felt as if you had walked in circles trying to figure out where you were, only to realise that you weren't moving at all. It was a perpetual loop, never ending, never beginning.

You sat yourself on the solid ground beneath you, tucking your legs close to your chest as you rested your chin on your knees, arms wrapping around yourself in a feeble attempt at comfort.

You knew what this all meant. Your end was coming soon, and all you could do was wait for that end to come for you. You began to wonder who would come to take you, and a brief image of a familiar face came to mind before you waved it away.

Having him see you as you were now — feeble and vulnerable — was nothing short of humiliating for you. On top of that, you really didn't want his face to be the last thing you would see before you... left. It would only make things harder.

You didn't know if time existed wherever you were, but you felt as if you had sat there for a lifetime, occupying yourself by tracing over the scattered bruises over your exposed arms from your dress. You couldn't feel the pain, but you knew it was there. How long had you endured all of that for? You lost track of the days a long time ago.

The sound of footfalls echoing around you in the vast blank space made you perk up. Not seeing anything to your left or right, you turned around, hand pressing to the cool floor as your breath caught in your throat.

"Had a feeling I would find you here," Osomatsu jested as he stood casually before you, leaning against the mantle of his scythe with his free hand resting in his pocket.

"Are you here to.. take me away?" Your quiet voice amplified itself in the silence, reaching his ears easily. He seemed to contemplate this question, eyes squinting as he peered at you, taking steps towards you before he knelt down in front of you.

"It is my job to do so, but right now..?" He ran a hand through his hair under his hood, chuckling weakly, "I don't know."

You lowered your head, unable to look him in the eyes, now for many different reasons. You flinched at the feeling of his fingers pressing under your chin, lifting your face up to look at him once more as he scrutinised the markings on your face. It became unsettling to watch his face fall blank, a slate of no emotion whilst he gazed at you.

"..I've heard different rumours this time," quoting himself from all this months ago. How you wished to go back to those times. At least it was easier to live than it was now. "Somebody took you, and somebody hurt you." He traced his index finger up, over the curve of your cheek to the arch of your brow, barely brushing over the cut that had rested there. "Who did this to you?"

"I don't know.. They wanted me for my 'gift'.." you spat the word out with a scowl, "But does it matter?" You looked away from him again. "If you're here to take me away, then hurry up and do it already."

"Why are you so eager to end your life here?" Osomatsu tilted his head.

"Because what else do I have out there?!" You yelled in frustration, tears finally rolling down your heated cheeks. "Even if I live, there's not going to be anything waiting for me! Everything keeps getting worse and worse — I can't take it anymore!"

"And yet you're still here."

"Because you won't reap my soul—!"

"Because you still want to live."

He stood up, reaching for your wrists and pulling you up with him. You stuttered as he pressed your firmly against his chest, his hand forcing you to look into his eyes.

"Do you think I just take whatever soul I want whenever I want to?" He huffed a laugh at you, wiping away a fresh tear with the pad of his thumb. "I take souls who are ready and willing to die. And for you, that's not the case. If you were truly willing to die, I would have taken your soul the minute you were brought into this hospital."

Staring up at him, you found it hard to look away a third time. Even as your vision blurred his features together, you could still point out his eyes. You had never noticed how pretty they were like this, glinting like cut jade, shaped and moulded into perfect orbs.

"I know I made a deal to you," he mumbled, eyes half-lidded as he clutched you closer, "But just this once, let me break it. Let me get you out of here."

"...Will you be there when I wake up?"

He laughed louder this time, the vibration of his voice rumbling through his chest.

"I'll be there for as long as you need. Or until you get sick of me."

You let out a watery giggle. You were sure that you were past that stage.

It was odd. A mere few months ago, you had despised being in the presence of this reaper. Yet now, you were clutching onto him tighter than ever as you nodded along to his proposal, wanting nothing more than to drown yourself in his comfort as you found yourself in a hospital room, blinking up at the ceiling.

[allforhader]

Things Change, But Not My Love For You

Barry Berkman x (F) Reader

Warnings: Langauge, Injury

0

“Barry?” Y/N calls out when she heard the front door open. She caught a confused look from her husband when he entered their bedroom. “What?”

“What are you doing home?”

“I had the day o—“

“Wait if you had the day off today than what was Monday? You should’ve told me and I would’ve spent time with you...” Barry drops his backpack before sitting on his side of the bed looking at her. “You could’ve told me before-“

“Barry. I had the rest of the day off...”

“Oh...you got let out early? Why? Usually from Greys they’d die to have more scrub nurses in—“

“Barry I’ve told you countless times. Grey’s isn’t the greatest depiction. Thought I said this when you thought I’d go for a neurosurgeon”

“Well that Derek guy can pop up out of no where he did in Greys—besides the point. You should’ve told me...but why were you given the rest of the day? Did something happen?” Barry frowns as Y/N knew he was going to worry before she got to her main point but it’s best to say everything.

“I was on a case, and before the surgery was over I collapsed in the OR—“

“Y/N YOU WHAT—Okay what’s wrong?? What did they find?! Did you hit your head” Barry kept asking all these questions and checking every inch of Y/N as she kept pushing away his hands. “Y/N Why didn’t you call me? Who drove you home? Because your car isn’t here”

“My friend from work drove me home and I didn’t want you to drop everything just to come and get me” Y/N frowns as Barry gave her an annoyed look before bringing her into his arms.

“I would drop everything for you, because you’re my wife. Please tell me they checked you out before you went home” Barry frowns holding her as Y/N pulls away from him for a second.

“Barry, I’m pregnant...”

2

“You’re going to be home a lot more. I won’t be here 24/7 and I would...only be worrying about you instead of landing auditions and fuck still doing what I used to do...You’re going to be alone for a good portion of the day when you get put on leave and I don’t want you getting hurt by anybody” Barry paces the living room as Y/N frowns wishing he’d just sit down with her before she had to get ready for work.

“Barry...you’re stressing yourself out thinking too ahead like that. I love you, but you don’t have to think that far” Y/N frowns getting up from the couch to go get ready. “We can move. If you’re really worried”

“As much as I want to pack up everything and take you out of here. You worked hard to get where you’re at. I can’t ask you to drop all of that” Barry frowns staying by the door watching Y/N grab her scrubs from the dresser before taking one of his long sleeve’s.

“You have no idea how easy it is to transfer. If I got fired that’s a different story...but I’m just telling you. Dropping everything and moving. Won’t be difficult when it comes to my career” Y/N states taking a minute sitting on the edge of the bed. “I’m getting tired thinking about it”

Barry knelt down in front of her resting his hands on her knees as Y/N sets her clothes down taking his hands into hers.

“I just want you and the baby to be safe”

“I know Barry, I know”

4

“Would you be fine taking on the night shifts again? We just lost Amber” the chief nurse Taylor asks Y/N as she had just got done settling one of her patients in the ICU. Her last patient of the day.

“Are you asking me to start tonight?”

“If it’s not too much Y/N.”

“If this affects my leave when I hit seven months Taylor—“

“It won’t. I promise” Taylor states as Y/N frowns before taking the clipboard from his hands going to the nurse’s station. “You’re a saint Y/N”

“Buzz off Taylor”

After a week of being on the night shift, Barry didn’t care as he stayed up till 5am to greet his wife. He stayed in the living room waiting patiently when Y/N entered their home looking extremely tired. Barry was about to get up when Y/N drops her things kicking her shoes off before climbing into his lap.

“Hey”

“Hm” She snuggles into his embrace as Barry rests his against hers when she lays it on his shoulder.

“How are you feeling...?” Barry asks before realizing Y/N had fallen asleep in his arms. He smiles picking her up and carrying her to their bed.

After laying her in the bed, Y/N immediately grabbed Barry’s shirt pulling him into her embrace as he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Barry adjusts himself as Y/N held him comfortably.

“Better stay with me all morning...” Y/N yawns a bit holding her husband protectively as Barry moves himself to hold her comfortably.

“You know I’m not going anywhere”

7

“Fuck”

“Barry stop moving”

“Sorry”

Y/N gotten used to taking home suture kits, gauze, and everything she’d need to patch Barry up whenever he got hurt. He didn’t like being in hospitals thinking he’d be found easier there than any other place by his enemies in his past and present.

“Can’t you get...lidocaine?”

“As much as I’m willing to, I would like to keep my job. Getting stuff like that requires my code babe” Y/N states as she was currently stitching up a gash in his shoulder. “Fuck...” she was half way through the stitches when she started crying.

Barry frowns trying to turn around to comfort her when she kept pushing him forward so she can finish the stitches.

“Y/N...”

“Stop I’m fine”

“Baby...you’re not”

“You’re the one bleeding. Shut up”

“You’re the pregnant one”

“And what’s that supposed to fucking mean?”

“So take a minute. I’m not going anywhere and I’m definitely not going to bleed out” Barry states only to hear Y/N cry even more. “Baby I’m sorry just-“

“Let me finish then you can do whatever...” Y/N says wiping away a few of the blinding tears before continuing with the stitches.

When she got done with his stitches and putting the bandage on. Barry took his shirt carefully putting it back on before turning toward Y/N on the bed wiping away her tears as she cleaned up a bit.

“You gotta stop getting hurt”

“That’s hard to do”

“I don’t care. Just try at least” Y/N felt the tears coming up again.

“Okay okay...” Barry rests his hands on her cheeks wiping away the tears as they fell. “I’ll try. I will”

“You fucking better” Y/N rests her forehead against his as Barry moves his hands to her belly knowing sometimes that the baby kicks when she gets upset and he waits to feel them before rubbing circles to soothe. “She’s going to need you to be okay, okay?”

“She?” Barry looks up catching a smile from Y/N as he couldn’t stop smiling hearing that. “Aww...a little girl”

9

“Hey, I got everything ready...whenever you are” Barry says calmly kneeling by the bed on Y/N’s side as she removes the pillow from her face immediately hitting Barry with it. “Okay—I know waiting isn’t the greatest game but, you said once passed the due date you’d want to be induced. It’s been a week passed”

“I know but it’s hard to get out of bed. Give me a minute” Y/N sat up immediately feeling uncomfortable and laying back down. “Guess I’m glued to the bed...”

Barry laughs a bit getting up and sitting on the side of the bed looking at his wife. He thought of something as he suddenly picks up Y/N only to get smacked to be put back down.

“I can easily carry you to the car and get a wheelchair when we get there”

“I hate you”

“But I love you” He smiles catching a blush from Y/N as she punched his arm once to get a point.

After a very uncomfortable car ride to the hospital and finally getting settled on the L&D floor. Y/N had been induced an hour ago and was slowly creeping up to full dilatation when Barry’s phone started ringing.

“I can call back”

“Barry. This is going to be a while...” Y/N smiles reassuring that it’s okay for him to take it.

“Y/N...”

“What? You’ll know to end the call if you hear me screaming” Y/N laughs relaxing in the bed as Barry got up leaning over and kissing his wife before taking the call in the hall.

“This is Barry”

“Barry, you’ve been ignoring me for two months”

Barry froze knowing he shouldn’t have answered. “What do you want?”

“Cutting straight to the chase now are we?”

“What. Do. You. Want.”

“You, what else would I be calling for?”

“Why isn’t—“

“Hank? Oh Barry. He gets distracted whenever on the phone with you. Giving you chances that I’m no longer willing to give.” Cristobal smirks to himself. “Now are you going to listen? Or shall I take away the things you love?”

“I-...” Barry stops himself stepping out of view from his wife. “What...what do you...want me to do right now?”

“You come back to the stash house and take on this hit assignment. But it never truly stops there now does it?” Cristobal laughs a bit before standing to his feet walking over to the edge of the building. “You’ll be working with me until I’m done with you. You step foot outside of my radius. I’m not afraid to end the lives of everyone that has brought change in your life. It would be sad to hear about your daughter not even making it to a month. So, are you going to listen? Or risk it all”

Is there even a choice to be made here? Is there ever really when it comes to his business...

He should’ve left when he first met me. He should’ve.

Fuck.

Once hitting the peek of 10 centimeters, the doctor and nurses started getting Y/N ready as she glanced over to the door of her room expecting Barry to walk in any minute when the discomfort started to become more audible. But nothing.

No one.

“Are you ready Mrs. Berkman?”

“No...” Y/N cries as she was in the hospital she worked at so of course she had people that will support her through this.

But they aren’t Barry...

He didn’t want them to die. He never wants that. He...just...

Wanted a future.

When nightfall came around Barry walks down the dark hall setting his bag down by the patient room’s door before entering. He wanted to wake Y/N up and say goodbye but he knew that would only bring more pain for what he’s currently doing. He took his wedding ring off setting it on the counter next to her belongings.

Barry froze to little whines coming from the hospital crib. He didn’t want to but he had to and he wanted to.

Inching closer to the crib he started to tear up at the sight of their daughter. Barry carefully picks her up knowing it’ll be the first and last of a while comforting the little one.

“I love you...I just want you to know...I love you so much and your mama” Barry whispers before gently putting her back in the crib seeing the little baby card reading it. “Little Robin...”

Barry wanted to spend more time with her but he felt his phone buzz.

C: Time to go

“I love you...” Barry whispers looking over at Y/N before quickly leaving to avoid anything harmful happening.

Five years later...

Y/N jolts awake sitting up in her bed hearing something in the kitchen making her get up quickly but approach slowly. She made her way out into the hall and reach under the console table taking the bat before walking toward the kitchen. When Y/N swung back she stopped when the figure shot his hands up. She stood there confused watching the figure flip the light switch revealing Barry.

“What are you doing here?”

“Y/N—“

“Mama?”

The two froze as Y/N sets the bat down turning the light back off and pushing Barry out of the house through the sliding glass door. The way he came in.

“Y/N-“

“If you found us here, you know where else to fucking find me. Don’t just come unannounced” Y/N snaps closing the sliding door and locking it before meeting her daughter in the hallway.

“Mama...” Robin yawns making grabby hands above her head as Y/N happily picked her up. “Are you okay mama?” She nuzzles into her mama’s embrace as Y/N kisses the top of her head.

“I’m okay, are you baby?”

“Mm...can I sleep with you tonight mama?”

“Of course baby” Y/N smiles carrying Robin into her room.

The next day came around as Y/N glances every once a while from her book to check on Robin who was happily playing on the playground with the other kids. She closes her book at the right moment when Barry sits beside her on the park bench.

“Told you you’d find us. Wasn’t that hard”

“Not at all...”

“So...do I get to start asking questions or do you want to start with the domestic stuff you missed?”

“Um. Anything you want to ask...we can start with that. End with positive”

“Oh trust me. Not all of it was positive” Y/N laughs before leaning back on the bench.

“You still wear my shirts?”

“I have your long sleeves because they are comfortable and nice to wear under my scrub shirt”

“You still have your job?”

“Got promoted. Chief nurse. Which sounds bad but...yknow. My village knows our daughter is my top priority so I get the shifts I want first”

“Congratulations...you’ve worked hard for it of course” Barry smiles getting a confused look causing the smile to fade. “What?”

“Have you been...in the area? This whole time”

“Hm. Not entirely. The first three years I haven’t. Stayed away as much as possible to protect you and...Robin”

“Okay now—I didn’t tell you our daughter’s name. You’re going to have to clear that up before you tell me why you left”

“I should just say the order of what happened. Shouldn’t I?”

“I’m listening” Y/N crosses her arms looking at Barry to start but she immediately looked over to check on Robin seeing her playing in the sand. “I’m listening just—“

“Yeah. I know, anyway...” Barry takes a second to collect his thoughts. “Cristobal asked me to take on a position for him until he didn’t need me anymore. He threatened your lives and you both were at your most vulnerable state that...Hell. I couldn’t change the odds without losing one of you and I couldn’t. Handle that. I can’t live without any of you.”

“As for...knowing her name?”

“I got a few minutes...to say goodbye when all I was going to do was leave my wedding ring. But she started fussing and I didn’t want her to wake you...”

“Hm. You and your soft hands Barry”

“Soft?” Barry laughs. “I doubt. Highly doubt”

“Well. Soft touch...because one of my friends that was rounding on the L&D floor said Robin was the quietest baby and that I knew how to rock her quickly back to sleep...when I don’t remember ever getting up her first night. Someone soothed her...you clearly did” Y/N laughs a bit felt her eyes start to water as she looked away to take a minute. Barry frowns hesitantly resting his hand on her knee thinking she’d swat him away but she took it into her hands squeezing. “I...why didn’t you reach out sooner?”

“Had to make sure the bridges have burned before I came back. I know I missed a lot and that things have changed but-“

“Barry, if you’re going to ask me if I still love you-“

“Y/N it’s okay if—“

“Things did change...but I haven’t stopped” Y/N states seeing Barry always have that confused look on his face as she laughs a bit before letting go of his hand when Robin ran over to her. “Hey baby, you done playing?”

Robin stares at Barry as he didn’t know what to do exactly. She instantly grabbed onto Y/N’s leg giving Barry a glare before looking up at her mama when she rests her hand on her head.

“Uh. I should get going—“

“Mama mama” Robin interrupts both of their thoughts as Y/N picks her up after she let go of her leg and placed her on her lap. She immediately went up to Y/N’s ear whispering to her as Barry looks at the two even more confused.

“Well” Y/N smiles as Robin went back to looking at Barry snuggling up to her mama. “Would you...come over for dinner? We can talk more after”

“If it’s okay with...the both of you”

“Yes!” Robin replies quickly making Y/N laugh before standing up with her in her arms. Barry picked up her book handing it to her as Robin took it to hold for Y/N.

“See you in an hour or two?”

“I’ll be there”

After a while, Barry stood in the living room of Y/N’s home looking at the photos on the fireplace mainly being Robin. The day she was born, first day of kindergarten, and a really adorable one of her with Y/N. He noticed a photo faced down but it was still placed there for meaning. Robin ran over to him tugging at his pants as Barry looked at her confused before watching her make grabby hands.

“You want to look at these too?”

“Yeah!” Robin yells continuing to make the grabby hands until Barry bent over picking her up. “Move closer” she asks reaching for the photos as Barry steps over watching her grabbed the down photo.

Barry started to tear up when Robin flipped it over showing his and Y/N’s wedding photo. Robin instantly rests her head against his shoulder as he held the photo with his free hand. She knew. She knew because Y/N didn’t care about Barry’s past. His past doesn’t define the man she loves. Hearing what he said at the park, only confirmed that. She didn’t want their daughter to not know about him. Y/N just skipped over the scary parts.

Even if she didn’t know if Barry would come back, Robin was told that he’d be back one day. Someday.

“Things may have changed Barry, but I just want to remind you. I’ll always love you.” Y/N tells him as she walks over to the two wiping away his tears. Barry sets down the photo back on the fireplace wrapping his arm around her waist bringing her close.

Robin grabbed onto Y/N’s shirt to keep her there as she wasn’t going anywhere. Barry held the two close to him feeling them hold him. Y/N rests her head on his shoulder feeling him rest his on top of hers.

“Am I going to have to change my last name to yours?”

“Nope. Because that would be unfair to Robin Berkman-Y/L/N” Y/N laughs as Barry let’s go of her to look at his daughter feeling Robin grab his face continuing to stare before suddenly crying. “Aww baby”

“Come here” Barry held her close feeling Robin hold onto him for dear life as Y/N rubs circles on her back to sooth her. Knowing and waiting. Must’ve been a lot to handle.

When the three were settled in their bed for the night. Barry watches Robin snuggle into Y/N as she slept making his heart melt. Y/N reaches into her nightstand uncomfortably as she didn’t want to bother Robin sleeping. She took out Barry’s ring holding it out for him.

“It’s been five years. When our anniversary hits...will you marry me? Again?” Y/N smiles watching Barry take his ring putting it on with a smile as he leans over kissing her lovingly.

Taking that as a yes.