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sokayisaidiot · 4 years ago

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Things I see people forget or overlook

Here’s a list I made, because I think other forget some certain aspects or just simply don't know them! Have fun with it :D

Dream was a caring person in the beginning, but slowly became obsessed with the thought of control, or maybe he is just possessed

The Minors are CANONICALLY CHILDREN

THE FUCKIN BIGGEST PROBLEM ON THIS HOLE SMP IS JUST MISCOMMUNICATION AND THE LACK OF THERAPY

Eret has betrayed L’Manberg in the first war with an after effect of PTSD

Niki and Jack WEREN’T in the L’Manberg Revolution

But both of them still do have their own amount of trauma

No one is a innocent person on this server

--------- read under the cut for more!

Wilbur did not always do the best for L’Manberg

Beating each other in a pit is not really good and healthy, despite people saying it’s “normal”

Jschlatt was a fairly elected President

Nobody is really certain on how to spell L’Manberg/L’Manburg or disc/disk

Tubbo was actually the last to join the rebellion of L´Manberg

Fundy was the third person and Eret the fourth

Sapnap actually dragged Tommy into the first kind of big war

Tommy could have refused, but he didn't know what would happen

All of the people have their own trauma and inner demons to fight

Phil is also just a human who in the pressure of time and confusion, which is normal in that situation for everybody age, had to do something. Wilbur would have done it himself or searched for another person to do it. It was inevitable either way.

Tommy and Tubbo, even with their age and past have done some stupid shit. It should not be forgotten, but also the next to posts are needed to be read for this.

Age DOES make another Level for Trauma and doing actions seeable and it should not be forgotten

Childhoods and pasts filled with Trauma and PTSD do not just go the same way like normal childhoods and past without that. It leaves an impact on how you act and work.

Punishing is not teaching a lesson. It just makes the person more stubborn

But Tommy just apparently has the biggest amount

Opening about Trauma or past mistakes is really hard to do

You shouldn't use VIOLENCE as an ANSWER

Theres always more than one side to the story

Philza DIDN’T confirm Tommy as his son, because it was Tommy’s decision

THIS IS ALL A ROLEPLAY

Everybody, and I really mean EVERYBODY has done some kind of grieving, destroyed something with a creeper or simply made something ugly once. Try me, I can count up--

When you have a panic attack or mental breakdown, you won't be having a “villain arc”

Peer Pressure is real and can happen to any of us. Even the oldest or best fighter

The content creator will somehow see weird shits of weird people. Just stop doing bad things, especially when they told “you” to stop

Not everybody in this Fandom has respect, but you shouldn't go for violence or cussing either

We are not people to order others around in the chat

The CC ARE having clear lines between themselves and their characters

Even if you really love the Dream SMP and dedicate so much to it, remember to take care of yourself first! It won't run away and self-care is way more important!

Just because a character is joining a arc, doesn't mean they are stupid. It’s always probably talked about it offline to discuss their involvement

Tommy and Techno have one of the biggest miscommunications in the lore and both have betrayed each other in one way or another

There isn't really a good or evil

Don’t cross tag, promote your thing when it’s NOT related to the content or be a dick when you post something against a character. Use the negative or critical character hashtag and LEAVE OUT the main one. When you don't like to have hate on your main tag, don't spread the hate to others

Nobody is better than the other in the story line. You can have your favorite characters, but don't say something like “Ranboo is better than Tommy” openly and generously

Respect creators decisions in general. You can make funny jokes, but no crossing boundaries like getting aggressive or shit like that

A character isn't a good character just because their doing something with your favorite character. Respect their own storyline and plot. Maybe do a little research

SAME WITH THE PLOTS IN GENERAL

Don’t try to cancel someone because you JUST DONT LIKE THEM. If you have something really bad with enough sense to talk about, then act like a decent human being. The hole Technoblade situation is getting to my head. He made a joke 4 years ago. When someone else next to you, who you don't know, would make such a joke, you would just shrug and ignore. When someone like Technoblade is already a really supportive person of various positiv things, then you can see it was just a stupid little joke. Don't act like 13 year olds and please try to be more civil. You're just becoming a Karen or Chad of the internet. And that doesn't mean I found the joke funny, no I found it stupid, but nobody is fuckin perfect, you are not, the youtubers are not, streamers are not, Authors are not, your local shiny perfect fine family are not, I am not. We all make mistakes or just stupid things. And this was one of them.

And Techno would know if it was a really bad thing. He ain’t stupid

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pitheinfinite · 4 years ago

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A Temporary(?) Leave

Hours ago, I just realized the kind and talented Nemiga-sims decided to leave the community. This is probably the worse timing but...I have another bad news for you.

As I mentioned earlier, I’ll be away for the rest of July, dear @simcatcher is kind enough to help out with the daily cc update @pis3update. It was planned to be a short and temporary leave at first, but as time went by, I realized how much I needed a longer break and the struggle with the cc group project. So I may stop updating cc for pis3update if I don’t feel better after coming back. The group blog will remain as a platform for creators to reblog their works with the minimum management. (New comers are still welcome to join tho). If you believe in this project and want to help out or take over, please DM me.

I’m actually the kind of person who hates to be restricted by games. Pet Society was one of my favorite Facebook game, but I quitted as soon as they added a new rule forcing the players to log in everyday or their pets die. Gaming should be something I do when I want to, not what I have to. Were if not for the responsibility to people supporting and joining this project, there’s no way I can go this far.

Now the situation got even worse thanks to tumblr. The dashboard revamp disabled new XKit which I relied heavily on for tagging and tracking. I used to track creators in the most primal way, and it costed 1~2 hrs a day to update the cc. With the help of new XKit and RSS bot on Telegram (subscribing 100+ creators, including members so I could fill in when they forgot), the time required was reduced significantly. And now I have to get by without XKit. That’s also why you saw me reblog cc with my main blog lately. Love y’all so much tumblr!

Besides, this project also required me to deal with people of different opinions, and resulted in some not-so-pleasant encounters. For instance, some creators refused to follow the member rules and said they didn’t know such rule, which was 100% impossible, for I have this SOP in place to make sure new members receive all the important information. Then they just quitted the group blog, saying they didn’t have to do so. Another creator rejected my invitation but wanted me to keep reblogging their works (so far that was all fine), what made me uncomfortable was that they started to send me the links of their new posts via private message, instead of submitting to pis3update. They probably thought it would be easier for me to reblog if they notified me in this way. But I was not their Siri, I didn’t work for them or any other creator. (They apologized when I asked them to stop.)

What made me feel worst was this arrogant attitude of some creators. They just thought: “someone else will reblog for me anyway”, “there will always be another Lana”. As a creator my self, I don’t understand where that sense of superiority comes from. The creators need such a platform to show their works as much as the cc-finds need them. We need feedback to support us, to keep creating more works. One of the main reason I started the project was to help less-known or newbie creators to have a place to show their talents. Updating cc daily is very time-consuming and detail-oriented. We creators should thank people for reblogging our works. Unfortunately, some creators take this for granted. And that is the crucial foundation of this project. It’s pretty clear so far that we don’t have that common agreement in this community yet, which also makes sense, ‘cause it’s just a diversified group of players. We can only hope there will always be someone standing out and help out when we need them. Btw, we have several cc-finds reblogging TS3 CC constantly like what Lana did while there’s no such TS4 cc-find reblogging all the new cc with proper tags. Shout out to these generous and diligent TS3 simblrs!

To every member and everyone supporting this project, I am so so so grateful. Unfortunately there are more people I can’t convince them to join the group effort. I’m afraid I can only go this far. Sorry if I fail you.

#pis3update #group cc blog project

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bobnpancakes · 6 years ago

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i wanna start my own simblr do you have any advice?

hey anon!

ohhh, i’m not the best person to give a piece of advice on that, i’m afraid… i don’t think that i’ve cracked this perfect formula of having a great blog, but let’s try to put something together that may help. i’ll write top 10 things that i keep in mind while running my simblr. and take it as an opinion, not a rule, as all people are different and everybody has their own thing going on.

it’s gonna be a long one with (probably) a ton of mistakes and i apologize for that. english is not my native language and i try my best!

01. if you create a simblr do it for yourself. do it for fun. do not do it for followers and likes and some sort of popularity and all that. don’t make entertaining others your main target, but focus on what you enjoy and…just share it!

02. do whatever makes you happy and post it. if you like playing your game just make screenshots and post them. you’re all about cas? then post your sims or even upload them to the gallery and share them. builds? same thing. if you want to do a bit of all, why not? i don’t think that limiting yourself is a good thing when it comes to simblrs, so if you explore the game and the way you play it, don’t be shy to share.

03. having an ongoing gameplay or a legacy or a challenge helps, but you don’t have to continue a save that does not inspire you if it does not inspire you. it’s all about enjoyment and fun here and nobody will be having fun if you’re forcing yourself, right?

04. same goes for editing. having a photo editor and editing your screenshots helps a ton when it comes to tumblr because everything here is about being visually appealing. i use photoshop for that because i’m just used to it and it has a lot of useful instruments, but it’s not the only thing you can do. however, if you don’t edit your screenshots and don’t want to - it’s totally okay.

05. as for using tumblr keep in mind three important things: a) using tags is a great thing to do to help people navigate in your blog, b) using a queue is super helpful when you have content to post and don’t have time to do it in real time, c) creating pages is useful to share a list of cc you use or an faq about your blog or yourself, etc. all of that helps to keep your simblr easy to use for both you and your followers.

06. be kind to people around you and respect them. it applies to everything: a random chat, wcifs, following terms of use if using custom content, etc. respect the rules and asks that others set and you’ll be golden. if i understand anything about simblrs here is that wonderful simmers who run them are a really cool and friendly gang who will happily treat you as well as you treat them.

07. if somebody sends you hate or offends you try to do your best and don’t get hurt. it happens to everybody and most of the time hate says more about the hater than the hated and has nothing to do with the latter. don’t get discouraged and keep being yourself. and remember: you don’t have to reply to that if you’re uncomfortable with it.

08. do not compare yourself to others and don’t let numbers (of likes, followers, asks) let you down. don’t put yourself in a position when you have to overthink why this or that post didn’t get a level of appreciation you wanted. just keep going while it makes you happy and don’t pressure yourself. it’s just a game and it’s just a blog :)

09. don’t forget that it’s a hobby, not a chore or a job. it’s a thing you do to enjoy the game and yourself, to make friends, maybe, or just stalk the simblrs you like. :) there is no “you must” or “you have to” applicable and i wish somebody told me that when i had just started a simblr! it could save me so much disappointment in myself when i could not post in a proper cadence or fill in a queue. don’t make my mistakes :)

10. you may think that it’s very out of context here, but it’s really important to keep healthy and happy along the way. if a moment when you don’t feel like you’re okay with something happening comes, do whatever you need to stay safe and do everything to feel better. nothing here is more important than your harmony with yourself and the world around you.

and welcome to the simblr family :)

#new simblr #anon #el dialogue

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onehellofababysitter · 6 years ago

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Hearts of the Divine~Ghoulie OC

((A/N: Chapter 2 everyone!! Hopefully you’re still sticking with me. Apologies for taking so long between updates, but I got super swamped with IRL stuff :) As usual, please don’t hesitate to leave a comment <3 ))

((Tag list: @theheavycrown, @sweetpea-cc, @srainebuggie, @mrfangsfogarty, ))

Chapter 1 here

Carrie pulled her helmet off, running her fingers through her hair to work out the snarls that had worked their way in during the ride here. She’d almost put her hair up in a ponytail before she left, but she’d wanted to curl it and leave it down. She sighed heavily, pulling one earbud out and shifting her backpack to one shoulder before pulling her phone out and typing a quick text to Mal, who had insisted that she tell him when she got there.

Carrie: Since you insisted I tell you, I made it to school. And for the record, I feel like a little kid texting their parent to say they made it safe and I hate you for that.

Malachi: Smartass. Keep your chin up and show those Northsiders who you are. And for the love of god please don’t pick a fight. I don’t want to have to deal with Northsiders today.

Carrie: And you think I do? I won’t pick a fight, I’m not that stupid.

Malachi: Says the one who almost ate cereal with a fork this morning because she was half asleep.

Carrie: Shut the fuck up, it’s not my fault I was up until 2 in the morning because someone decided to go get in a fight with Serpents and I had to take care of his ass.

Malachi: Get to class.

Carrie: See, you know I’m right.

Malachi: Sure, sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.

She slipped her phone back in her pocket, tugging her jacket tighter around her shoulders. She’d gone with the slightly less studded leather jacket this morning, and had stolen Mal’s wrist guards to make up for it. She slid off her bike and headed towards the front doors of Riverdale High, taking note of the eyes that were drawn to her and flitted away just as quickly. She couldn’t help the slight smirk that she could feel on her face, and she wore it like armor as she pulled the door open, officially sealing her fate. The first thing that struck her was the fact that there weren’t any metal detectors. She was so used to the sight of them at Southside that it threw her off for a moment.

There was sunlight streaming through the intact windows, shining warm and soft over the walls and floors. The lockers was actually securely bolted to the walls, and everything was oddly clean. Carrie walked straight past the crowd of Northsiders who had gathered in the foyer to watch her come in, making a beeline for the front office, which she found due to the numerous signs pointing her that way. Her eyes took in her surroundings, from the door to the bathrooms to the cheerful billboards covered in bright flyers.

A pit of resentment settled in her chest at the thought of the difference between Riverdale High, with its shining, clean halls and Southside High, with its boarded over windows and lockers that looked like they were about to falls off the walls at any moment. The privilege of the Northsiders hadn’t officially sunk in until she was standing here, staring in disgust and awe at the trophy case right outside the office. With a sigh, she yanked open the office door and slipped inside, catching the eye of the kid standing in front of the desk. She was waiting for his eyes to flicker down to her jacket, and sure enough, they did. He still walked up to her, holding out his hand for her to shake.

“You must be Carrie Weylyn. I’m Kevin Keller, your peer escort.” She shook his hand, releasing him quickly due to the bandage still wrapped around her knuckles, which had split open again while she slept, but he barely seemed to react.

“Keller?” Immediately, she could see the flash of irritation in his eyes, so she didn’t finish her question. “Right. So you’re supposed to show me around this glorious building that screams privilege from every corner?” She was surprised when he laughed at her comment.

“Yep. Normally Betty Cooper does it, but she’s busy with the newspaper today, so I volunteered to escort the big bad Southsider around.” He was surprisingly blunt, something she couldn’t help but appreciate. She almost laughed, shaking her head.

“Ms. Weylyn. If I could speak with you for just a moment before Mr. Keller escorts you around.” Carrie turned to face the man who’d spoken. Everything from his clothes to his posture screamed ‘preppy high school principal’ so she nodded and stepped into his office at his bidding.

“You must be the principal, Mr. Weatherbee.” She observed him closely, watching his eyes, but he surprised her and held her gaze, his eyes not dropping to her jacket as she’d expected.

“I am. The administration down at Southside High spoke very highly of you, Ms. Weylyn. It’s my pleasure to welcome you to Riverdale High.” His mouth pursed for a moment, and he finally delivered what she’d been waiting for, his eyes lowering to her jacket. “They did tell me about the… unsavory influences down at Southside, however. One of which you associate with. They assured me you were nothing but a model student, but I am required to inform you that we will not stand for any sort of gang violence in these halls. As of now, I see no reason not to allow you to continue wearing your jacket, but if I hear of any issues, I will be forced to make you remove it. Understood?��

“Of course, sir. I have no reason to cause problems with the North- I mean, the students here at Riverdale.” He smiled warmly at her for the first time, reaching a hand forward for her to shake. She gripped his hand and shook it, giving him a polite smile back.

“Welcome to Riverdale High, Ms. Weylyn. Congratulations.” He motioned with a hand towards the door and she took her cue, slipping back out into the main office, where Kevin was still waiting.

“So, he’s still letting you wear the intimidating jacket? That’ll definitely keep people off your back.”

“That was the plan when I wore it. And this is actually tamer than the one I wore down at Southside, I figured I should tone it down. Don’t want to give you sensitive Northsiders a heart attack.” Kevin opened the door to the hallway, waving her forward. She followed behind him, moving next to him as soon as she was out the door.

“You could give some of the people here heart attacks just by looking at them. You look like you can murder someone 500 different ways with your bare hands alone, and the jacket just adds to it.” She surprised herself by laughing out loud, quickly closing her mouth so it died in her throat.

“You’re blunt, aren’t you Keller?”

“Call me Kevin. And yes, I’ve been told. I am both the token gay best friend and the token blunt best friend. Double sided coin.” She nodded, laughing quietly to herself again.

“I think I like you, Kevin.”

“My one great goal in life has been achieved, I can die happy now.” His voice rang with sarcasm, but he smiled, looking pleased. He took her around the school, showing her everything that Riverdale High had that Southside lacked. Working toilets, computer lab, a library (which she was excited about), lockers that actually worked, and walls clean of the spray paint that was all over Southside. Suspicious eyes were drawn to her left and right as they walked through the halls, and at one point, she caught sight of someone backing away from her like she’d threatened them.

“So. Who around here isn’t going to hate me just on principal?”

“Well… Betty for sure, and since her and Jughead Jones are dating, probably him too. Archie Andrews will because he’s a simple soul and if Betty tells him someone is ok, he listens. And that’s about it. Well… Me too.”

“Jones?” She recognized that last name from her work with the Ghoulies. Being as high up as she was, Mal let her in on a lot of the important meetings, and she’d heard the last name of the Serpent King multiple times. Granted, it was a common last name, but it seemed like too big of a coincidence.

“Yeah. He works with Betty on the school newspaper, the Blue and Gold.”

“Is it like a rule around here that school newspapers have to be named after colors?” Kevin laughed and Carrie couldn’t help but smile in response.

“Why, what was Southside’s newspaper called?”

“The Red and Black. And no, before you ask, I didn’t work on the paper. Not my scene.”

“I didn’t peg you as a newspaper type, don’t worry. Oh, crap… Watch out, here comes Cheryl Blossom, she’s bound to try to cause some trouble.” Carrie turned her head in the direction Kevin was looking, and her first reaction was anger clawing its way up her throat as she looked at this girl who was very obviously the definition of a Northsider. Clothes that were very obviously designer label, jewelry that Carrie could have sold and gotten a stupid amount of money for, perfectly styled red hair a few shades lighter than Carrie’s, and the signature sneer she was accustomed to seeing on the faces of Northsiders the few times she’d been unlucky enough to run into some of them. The Blossom girl walked with a gait that spoke of years of privilege and training, and when she stopped in front of Carrie, her smile was sickly sweet, and her voice was the same way, dripping sugar and poison.

“Before you get any ideas about using your status as a Southsider to gain you favor, let me warn you. Only one redhead can rule this school, and that position is filled. Even if it wasn’t, no way in hell it would go to a Southside trash, gang affiliated slut like you, clear?” Carrie almost laughed at the girl’s attempt at bravado, used to dealing with even more from Serpents, especially newer ones fresh through initiation who thought they could start shit with her and walk away unscathed. She didn’t rise to the girl’s bait, simply smiling at her.

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind, Northsider.” Cheryl’s mouth opened, but she couldn’t seem to come up with a reply, so she turned on a heel and stalked off, her posse following close behind. Carrie smiled in victory and turned to Kevin, who was staring at her with his mouth open in shock. “What?”

“You are the singular person I have ever seen shut down Cheryl Blossom that fast. My respect to you, Carrie Weylyn.”

“Why thank you, Kevin Keller. My one goal in life was to achieve the respect of a Northsider.” She almost worried for a moment that she’d offended him with her sardonic humor, but he laughed out loud. “Anyway, is she always like that?”

“Sort of, but she’s been a lot worse lately. Her twin brother, Jason Blossom, died a few weeks ago, just before school started. They never found his body.” Guilt instantly shot through Carrie, rapidly followed by the mix of anger and grief that rose up in her throat every time she thought of Kace. Her older brother by three years, he’d been a serious pain in her ass, but they’d taken care of each other. He had gotten into the Ghoulies when he was 14, joining with Malachi, who had been his best friend. A few years later, Carrie had followed suit, joining the gang at the same age as her brother and his best friend. It had been a normal night for them the night he died, wreaking havoc on the streets of the Southside when they’d run into a group of Serpents who had wanted blood. She hadn’t been there, she’d been busy with homework, but she would never forget the moment when Mal had come home, alone and covered in blood, bearing the worst news of her life. Pity flooded through her at the thought of Cheryl going through that, and in a moment of impulse, she turned to Kevin.

“Do you know where she’d be right now?” His expression was pure confusion, but he thought for a moment before walking off, nodding for her to follow him.

“Probably in the lounge with her ‘handmaidens’. This way.” He took her over to a small room off the main hall, filled with couches and vending machines. She shook off the slight jealousy and scanned the room for Cheryl, spotting her alone on one of the couches.

“Thanks, Kevin. I’ll see you later?” He gave her another confused look before nodding and turning to leave, promising to see her at lunch at the latest. Cheryl looked up with an expression of disgust as Carrie walked up to her, eyes assessing every item of clothing Carrie wore.

“What do you want, Southsider?” Carrie tipped her head to the side and observed the other redhead carefully. She could almost feel the pain in her eyes, and she quietly spoke.

“Kevin told me about your brother.”

“What, and you wanted to come to gloat?” The Blossom girl’s voice was as sharp as broken glass, but Carrie saw tears well up in her eyes and sat across from her, leaning forward with her forearms on her thighs.

“No. I wanted to tell you I know what it’s like to lose a brother, to lose the one person that you felt like was your anchor to this shit world. Like you were caught in a current, but your anchor was holding you in place, so you were ok. And then all of a sudden, it’s ripped away from you and there’s water all around you, tearing you in this direction and that direction until you don’t even know what way is up anymore.”

Carrie paused for a moment, clearing her throat and raising her eyes to the ceiling in an attempt to stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks. “And you fight until you can finally see the light, the surface that you know can save you. But when you swim up, fighting to breathe the whole time, your palms hit solid and you realize you’re still trapped under the ice. You can see the sunlight and the sky, but you’re screaming to be let out and no one can hear you. No matter how hard you hit, the ice never breaks. You’re just… trapped there, forever able to see the light, but never able to reach it.”

We’re opposites, that’s extremely obvious. You’re a Northsider who lives in a gorgeous mansion, and you have everything you ever wanted. I’m a Southsider who lives in a trailer with my dead brother’s best friend, and I get in fights with members from a rival gang because it’s really the only thing I can do. But in this? In losing someone close? In this, we’re the same. If you ever need anything, you can ask me and I’ll help you. For Kace and for Jason. OK?” Carrie had to admit, she expected Cheryl to laugh in her face, but she was surprised when the girl nodded, tears falling from her eyes. Cheryl quickly swept them away, careful not to mess up the makeup that had evidently taken a while to apply.

The first warning bell rand sharply, breaking the tension. Carrie stood, looking around for Kevin as Cheryl waved a quick goodbye and walked off, heels clicking against the ground. He waved from the doorway, jerking his chin in the direction of the hallway, “That was the first person I’ve ever seen be able to get through to Cheryl at all, let alone right after they met her.”

“Well, maybe things around here are starting to change,” Carrie’s lips curved into a half smile as she hoped to whatever Gods there were that things would really start to change.

Chapter 3 here

#Riverdale #Fanfic #Ghoulie OC #Cheryl Blossom #Kevin Keller #Malachi #Principal Weatherbee

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hannah-deserved-better · 6 years ago

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Under the Prairie Moon: July rare-pair challenge

SPN Rare Ship CC: Round 20 | truthfulnomad vs. rodiniaorzetalthepenquin

Prompt: Stargazing

Ship: Castiel/Hannah

Word Count: 3311

Tags/Warnings: No warnings

Summary: Castiel and Hannah explore their senses under a night sky.

AO3 Link: optional/if applicable

Under the Prairie Moon

“Emotions, feelings… they are dangerous temptations.” Those words played over in Castiel’s head as he moved through the hallway of the Winchester’s bunker towards the kitchen where he thought he heard chatter. As he came into the doorway, he found Hannah talking to Sam standing over the coffee machine. The aroma of the coffee filled the air. They were both talking to one another, their attention on the coffee maker neither had noticed him yet. Castiel observed the scene before feeling a presence beside him. Glancing sideways, he saw Dean standing there dressed in his bathrobe, watching the scene as well. “Dean you should be resting,” Castiel pointed out, casting a look of concern Dean’s way. Dean hadn’t been human again for very long. Castiel and Hannah had arrived just in time to help cure him of being a demon. Tension still hung in the air, Dean still had the mark, and Castiel’s grace, though replenished by Adina, was still fading. But for now, for right now, they could all take a deep breath. “You and her have been traveling together all this time?” Dean asked, ignoring Castiel’s insistence on further rest as they watched Hannah and Sam interact. “How’s that been?” “Good,” Castiel replied. “We’ve been hunting rogue angels who have refused to return to heaven after the fall. They got a taste of freedom and are unwilling to give it up.” “Can’t say I blame them,” Dean said with a shrug. He studied the angel for a minute as Castiel kept his gaze on Hannah. A pause passed between them. “Cas… are you two… you know.” Castiel whirled quickly to meet Dean’s green eyes, startled at that blunt statement. “No,” he said quickly. Though, as he thought on it, he’d recalled the few moments between them. How she’d grabbed his arm, the despair in her eyes over his impending death. How he’d felt when Adina threatened Hannah’s life. “I told her that the mission was too important,” he said after a while. “That emotions are dangerous temptations. But… when I saw Adina holding a blade to Hannah’s neck… I felt…” “Yeah…” Dean sighed. He understood. “Look, man, I know you angels don’t really… get things sometimes. And I know there are a lot of things on all of our plates right now. But… and I don’t mean to go all Hallmark on you, I’d hate to see you overlook a good thing.” Castiel cocked his head, looking at Dean. He wasn’t sure he understood. Dean sighed and continued. “Look you two have been hanging around the bunker for a few days now. Sam and I have both noticed.” “Noticed what?” Castiel asked. He had an idea he knew what Dean meant, even if he tried not to see it himself. “Dude, you must be blind,” Dean replied. “Haven’t you noticed the way she looks at you? And it’s not just that crazy cultish way from before. And yeah, I know you know about as much as some 15-year-old prom date when it comes to this sort of thing, but I think you should take it seriously. Because you two could have something important here.” “How are feelings important?” Castiel asked. “I’m an angel, Dean.” “Yeah, I got that,” Dean shook his head. “Look, man, I gotta say I’m a little envious. You two have something going on that Sam and I have had very little of. And we’re human. I’m not even talking about a chance to get laid either, I’m talking about the real deal. Those kind of feelings are about as common as winning the lottery and you’d be a fool to pass that up.” Castiel sighed. He couldn’t deny that the experience over the past few days had been enjoyable. Maybe even more than enjoyable. The hours he’d spent talking to Hannah about humanity as they drove had meant more to him than he had realized. And it was all too clear to him how she felt. Though she had tried to deny it, she’d demonstrated multiple times how she felt. Pleading with him over his grace, even willing to go as far as to let Metatron out of prison. He never would have imagined that someone, another angel no less, would make that kind of effort for him. “How… do I proceed?” He asked after a time. Dean shrugged. “Leave that to me and Sammy,” Dean said, somewhat cryptically. With that, he strode into the kitchen, finally gaining the attention of its two occupants, who both looked in their direction. “Hey Sammy!” he said. “Get dressed, we need to go into town.” “Town?” Sam looked confused. “What for?” “Some things,” Dean said simply, grabbing Sam by the arm and hauling him away. Castiel approached Hannah who held a mug of coffee in both her hands. Her blue eyes scanned him as he came to stand in front of her. “Castiel,” she greeted as she inhaled the steam rising up from the coffee. “Sam Winchester was showing me how this device works. Coffee contains caffeine and I thought perhaps it would help you get your energy back.” Castiel had to smile at the subtle ways Hannah tried to care for him. He doubted that something as simple as caffeine would cure his fading grace, but he took the mug from her hands and took a sip, feeling touched. “Hannah,” he began, seriously, as he motioned for her to follow him as he moved to sit down at the table. She focused her attention on him as she sat down across the table, watching eagerly as he took another sip of coffee. “We should be heading out soon. Now that Dean is on the mend, we have to turn our attention to gathering all the rogue angels.” “I understand,” she said, her eyes never moving away from him. He locked eyes with hers, those large blue eyes of hers conveyed something he hadn’t considered before. Not just emotion- which for an angel was unique enough- but passion. Depth. “I’d like to know something before we go,” he continued. “What do you want?” She cocked her head in confusion. “Want?” she repeated as if he’d asked a very difficult question. And he knew he had. “I don’t understand. What do my wants have to do with this mission?” “Everything,” Castiel said quickly, then, leaning forward, “I appreciate your effort on this mission. I couldn’t have come this far without you. But I’m afraid I’ve neglected your wishes, so I’d like to know what they are.” She looked stunned. She blinked, glancing down at her hands as she seemed unsure of what she should say. “I want what you want,” she replied. Castiel sighed. How could he make her understand? It’s not as if he could blame her for her confusion. She was an angel, angels were hardwired to obey. The idea of having their own choices was foreign. He recalled how hard it was for him to learn how to think for himself when he first met Sam and Dean. He got up from his chair and moved around the table to sit down beside her. She swiveled in her seat to gaze up at him before he sat down and shifted to be eye level with her. “Hannah,” he began. “There are certain things to being on Earth that you should understand. Down here, it’s important to be able to think for yourself. Develop your own interests, tastes, and desires. Make your own choices. You don’t need me to tell you what to do.” “But we are angels, Castiel,” she pointed out. “Freedom is what breeds rogues like Daniel and Adina. I don’t want to be like them. I want to be an angel.” “I want to be an angel too,” Castiel agreed. “But I’ve learned that there is some flexibility, a common ground between their way and our way. Sometimes you have to understand that not everything is so clear-cut, especially down here on Earth. Not everything is about law and order. Sometimes we have to learn to make our own decisions. It was something I had to learn once.” “And how did you learn?” Hannah asked curiously. “How do I decide what I want? What if I decide wrong?” “I’m still learning,” Castiel responded. “And I agree it is a risk. My choices have cost me dearly in the past and I’ve made some mistakes that have hurt myself and those around me. But I think I’ve gained a lot as well. My friendship with Sam and Dean, I wouldn’t have had that if I didn’t learn to think for myself. I’m offering you the same thing.” He could almost see her mulling this over in her mind. He worried that he wouldn’t be able to get through to her. Maybe Dean was wrong about all of this, maybe there was no emotion at work here, maybe she was just an angel following another angel. But when she glanced back at him, she wore a pensive look on her face. Hesitantly, she reached her hand over and placed it over his on the table. He responded by taking her hand and placing it in between both of his. “I want you to live, Castiel,” she said. “You said emotions were dangerous, so I’ve tried to avoid them. But when I think of you’re fading grace, about how I might be forced to watch you deteriorate again and there is nothing I can do to stop it…” she suddenly turned her eyes away from him, glancing in the opposite direction so he couldn’t see her face. “We will cross that bridge when we come to it,” he offered. He knew the subject of his death had been a sensitive one between them and he hadn’t realized till then how he’d continued to ignore and brush off her feelings over it every time she brought it up. He felt a twinge of guilt over he hadn’t stopped to consider her in this at all before. “For now, I want to focus on you, Hannah.” “How do I do that?” she asked. She pressed the palm of her hand against her torso as if indicated something inside of her. “I have felt… things. Curiosities.” “I’ll show you,” Castiel offered. “But you have to be open to exploring new experiences. Can you?” She nodded. Castiel took in a breath, feeling somewhat satisfied. He’d taken the first step. Retracted what he’d said before and given her the permission she needed to explore herself. They would take the rest of the steps together. 00000 Dean hadn’t been lying when he said he and Sam had a plan. Later that evening, Castiel found himself hiking out across the prairie that surrounded the bunker, heading for a far-off hill. He carried a boom box, a picnic basket, and a few blankets. He glanced down at his attire. Sam and Dean had thought of everything, though Castiel failed to see the point of changing his clothes. He wore a pair of trousers, a simple white shirt, and a blazer. Glancing over at Hannah, he admired her change of clothing. She wore a long flowing bright blue floral maxi dress and carried a large bouquet of lavender sprays. The way the dress flowed behind her in the wind, along with her dark chestnut hair dancing around her head made her seem almost fantasy like. Castiel had to admire her beauty, her gracefulness. She was like a fairy moving effortlessly through the grass. Of course, being an angel, Castiel could see more of her than just her vessel. He saw the beautiful white creamy wings with golden yellow tips. He’d seen them all along, though they were invisible to humans. They were a sharp contrast to his ebony black wings. “What did they call this?” Hannah asked as she glanced at him. She frowned when she caught his eyes lingering over her form. “Am I wearing this garment wrong?” she asked with concern. “Sam Winchester told me to wear it.” “No,” he assured her, clearing his throat, feeling embarrassed that he’d been caught staring. “I like it. It’s… flattering.” He stumbled over his words, but he hoped he put her mind at ease. Blushing, he turned his attention to the prairie ahead of them. “This is a picnic,” he explained. “It’s a ritual that humans often engage in.” He stopped when he finally made it to the top of the hill. From this vantage, they could see far off in the distance as the prairie seemed to stretch on all around them. Hannah gazed down at the farms and small communities dotting the landscape below. As Castiel spread out a blanket and knelt down to set his items on it, he watched her reaction carefully. She looked astonished by the spectacular sight, though he noted a hint of confusion in her eyes. “Humans alter the landscape,” Hannah commented as Castiel stood and moved to her side. “They put up fences and barriers that block animals from coming and going as they please.” “It’s their nature,” Castiel offered. “Humans like to hoard their possessions, even the land. It’s unfortunate, I agree.” “There’s no need for fences, borders, or walls,” Hannah responded. “If humans allowed one another the freedom to come and go as they pleased, perhaps it would be better for them. Why create countries and kingdoms when they are all just humans in the end?” “That’s a complicated question,” Castiel admitted. “I’m not sure I have a good answer. Humans are driven to hoard resources and compete with one another. There is much I admire about them, but there is much more that is very flawed. Humans can be violent, greedy, bigoted, and many are quite dangerous. But others can be kind, selfless, brave, and valiant. And let's not forget that we angels are not without our flaws.” He motioned for her to sit down on the blanket as he did so as well. He opened the basket and laid out all its contents. A bottle of wine, cheddar cheese, bleu cheese, coppa salami, beef jerky, crackers and vinegar spread, horseradish, olives, smoked salmon, and some brownies. Hannah gazed over the food with fascination. “We are here to explore our senses,” Castiel explained. “Sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. Humans can derive great pleasure out of these sensations, and I want you to learn about the things you find appealing.” Hannah surveyed all the food items set out before her while Castiel turned on the boom box which started playing soothing piano music. Castiel watched Hannah’s reaction carefully as she listened. “I like this sound,” she said as she gazed out over the prairie. “And the sounds around us.” Castiel listened up as well. The day’s symphony of birds chirping in the thick grass, of thrushes and pheasants calling to one another across the vast seas of golden yellow, were being replaced by crickets chirping, frogs croaking, and owls hooting. That mixed with the piano music made for a pleasant melody. Castiel turned his attention to the food. He was unfamiliar with much of it and he wanted Hannah to have a good first experience with eating so he had to select something carefully. Making his decision, he grabbed the brownie and handed it to her. “Many humans are fond of sweets and of chocolate in particular,” he explained as she took it from his hand and examined it cautiously. For a moment it looked like she was going to back out, she seemed hesitant, almost disgusted with the prospect of eating. “Try it,” he urged gently. Finally, she took a small bite, chewing thoughtfully, before her eyes lit up in excitement. “I had no idea!” she exclaimed triumphantly, a bright smile crossing her face. Castiel let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, and couldn’t help but smile as well, her excitement was contagious. “Chocolate. It’s so… stimulating!” She eagerly finished the entire brownie, and he frowned a little, realizing he wasn’t going to get any of it. Her eyes scanned the rest of the items spread out before her and one by one, encouraged by the success of the brownie, she and Castiel tried each one. Not all of the food items were successful, the horseradish and the vinegar spread caused a rather violent response, and Castiel frowned as Hannah gagged, spitting them both out into the grass. Castiel turned to the wine. Hannah started a little when he popped the bottle opened and poured each of them a glass. He handed Hannah one as they both leaned back on their sides, beside each other. Hannah sipped her wine and peered across the small space between them, her eyes sparkled in the brilliant orange of the sunset. “What comes next?” she asked. Her mood had lightened considerably, there was a lightheartedness, almost playful way that the wind rustled her hair as the dark trusses danced about her face. “We watch the stars,” he explained. They finished their wine and Castiel, feeling a chilly breeze between them, retrieved the other blanket and draped it over Hannah as she shifted to a laying position in the grass and stared up at the sky. He watched her for a moment, her eyes wide with wonder. Satisfied with what he saw in her eyes, he settled down beside her, his body beside hers, as he focused on the sky. Powdery white clouds passed overhead, illuminated in shades of purples, oranges, and yellows as the sun cast it’s last light on them. The moon took its place, a massive round full moon, glowing at them as the sky darkened and one by one, billions and billions of stars began to fill the sky. “They’re so endless,” Hannah commented from beside him, her voice soft and expressive. “I could never tire of them. They were the one thing that got me through…” Castiel moved his head to glance at her. The faraway look in her eyes told him she was recalling something. But before she could continue, she suddenly let out a gasp. Castiel turned his gaze and saw a meteor shoot across the sky. Then another. Soon, dozens and dozens started raining from the sky. The meteor shower had begun, but it wasn’t having the intended effect. Hannah tensed noticeably beside him as she shot up to a sitting position. “No!” She exclaimed emotionally. “The angels!” She visibly shook, gripping her head in between her hands as if trying to physically push the image out of her mind. “No, it’s not,” Castiel assured her as he sat up to face her, wincing at the fear he saw in her eyes. “They’re just meteors. Pieces of rock. It’s not an angel fall. I-” without warning, she surged forward, her head collided against the top of his chest. Her body quivered and he, surprised by the sudden embrace, pulled her in. “Oh Hannah,” he said, his breath rustling her hair as he pressed his head against the top of her neck, bundling her tightly between himself and the blanket she had wrapped around her. “I’m sorry. I hadn’t realized.” The angel fall, which Hannah had been a victim of, had been very traumatic, and although he hadn’t been part of it, he could only have imagined the terror, the confusion. After a moment of shaking, Hannah composed herself and sat upright, her eyes rising up to meet his, glistening with emotion. “It was terrifying,” she admitted. “To be alone in this strange land. So alone, Castiel. And all I wanted to do was go home.” “I’m sorry,” he offered, feeling that all too familiar twinge of guilt. “For my part in your horror.” Hannah regarded him for a moment, saying nothing, just looking. And Castiel looked right back, searching the depth of emotion in those big, soulful eyes.

The fear slowly faded from her face to be replaced with something else. Something more sensual. She shifted, inching closer, so close to him, so close he could feel the heat of desire coming off of her. Her eyes glistened in sultry passion, becking him silently. He leaned into her, pressing his lips to hers gently, closing his eyes, savoring the sensation. She leaned into him, and he lowered himself back to the grass, pulling her down with him, never breaking the kiss. The moment between them was sweet but powerful. When she pulled back, only to shift back down to the ground, he responded by pulling her against him, and she returned the kiss greedily and without abandon. That was how two angels fell in love, stargazing under the prairie sky.

#spnrareshipcc #castiel/hannah #rodiniaorzetalthepenquin #Round 20 #Prompt: Stargazing

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sakurarisen · 3 years ago

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» character development meme

Reblog, fill in with your own character’s information, and tag your friends!

TAGGED BY: Stolen from one of my other blogs

B A S I C S

Full name: Seraphina Mayuzumi / Fair (Takes on Zack’s last name as of late CC, 7 Proper) Nickname: Sera, Seraphim, Kitten, Sunflower (both of the later two by Zack) Age: 16 (at the start of CC), 23 (7 proper) Birthday: March 29th Ethnicity: Japanese Gender: Female Romantic orientation: Demiromanitc Sexual orientation: Demisexual Languages: English, Japanese

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

Parents: Takeshi Mayuzumi (father), Unnamed (mother) Siblings: Ami Mayuzumi (older sister, deceased), Takeru Mayuzumi (older brother, deceased), Thurston Mayuzumi (older brother) Significant other: Zack Fair ( @honorisen; Fiance) Children: Shayan Fair ( @legacydriven )

P H Y S I C AL T R A I T S

Hair: Blonde; falls to about her waist Eyes: Honey brown Height: 5′3″ Weight: Won’t reveal; A bit underweight for the majority of her life, but later manages to attain a barely healthy weight and keep it there Body build: Slim, frail-seeming, small

Q U E S T I O N T I M E

What would you say are your character’s strongest traits?

Her kindness and gentleness, loyalty, protectiveness, warmth, supportiveness, dedicaton

What would you say are your character’s weakest traits?

Can be emotional, inability to understand ‘normalcy’, frequently afraid, lack of strength in herself, self-critical

What is your character like when they’re in love?

Sera is soft and supportive, and gives her all to her partner. She thrives on seeing them happy and smiling, and supports them to kingdom come - She wants to see them succeed. She wants them to have all the reasons to he happy and smile, and will actively look for reasons to provide that to them. She’s softer, wants to be closer to them, gentler... It’s obvious she’s in love just by how she looks at them. Sera doesn’t see a point in hiding it, though, and she’s more than happy to show she cares for them as well, albeit within reason - .she knows her limits and while she’s happy to scream it from he mountaintops, she knows sometimes keeping quiet is important and shows it in quieter ways, such as her ring tattoo in support of fiance Zack when she knows talking too much about their relationship could cause him trouble. She’s not going to hide it if she has no reason to, and will make it obvious he means the world to her, no matter how quietly it has to be done.

What kind of upbringing did your character have, and how did this affect them now?

Admittedly a horrible one. Raised in an abusive household, Sera didn’t know love and support outside of her siblings, Ami and Takeru, and losing hem when she was nine was crushing, especially when their loss came with learning just how much they’d done to keep her going and protect her. She knew little of the world outside her home until she was thrown out and forced to survive in it, still little more than a child - And even that wasn’t a time she cares to dwell on, full of its own nightmares and traumas. Sera very much raised herself after the loss of Ami and Takeru, and as a result, she’s essentially the tale of the boy raised by wolves; she doesn’t understand how to be ‘properly’ social, has very little reading ability or schooling to her name, poor health and eating habits... Sera is a traumatized girl who deals with more than anyone should, but doesn’t allow herself to dwell on it, persay. She allows it to drive her and push her forward, but not towards deepening her depression and PTSD - She lets it drive her towards being kinder. She’s suffered enough for dozens, so why should anyone else have to? If she can lend a helpful hand, why shouldn’t she? The only thing her life has done is drive her to change the world through kindness, seeking to improve it and eliminate the suffering and pain it holds. To break down those divides and unite everyone, and show all are equal. And if that means taking all that pain and putting it on her own shoulders... She’s already suffered, and she won’t let anyone else hurt the way she did. She’s just going to do it with genleness.

What is their relationship with their family like?

Truthfully, she has no relationship currently with her birth family, and doesn’t want one. Her father is wicked and corrupt and spent her childhood hurting her before disowning her, her mother refused to stop it, her remaining brother is as wicked as their father - She sees no reason to have any contact with them, and actively avoids Thurston if they’re ever in the same place together, wanting as much distance between her and him as humanly possible. Her birth family are three of a very small handful of people she’s capable of hating, and boy howdy does she hate them. Instead, she counts her friends and her fiance Zack’s family as her own, and her relationships with them are infinitely better. It’s a warm and supportive, loving bond she shares with them, and an even tighter one with Zack himself and their later son, Shayan. They’re her reason to keep going, and Shayan’s entrance into her life was the driving force she needed, even, to begin really taking care of herself, wanting to be in his life and see a better world for him to grow up in. Her found family, Zack, and Shayan are he reason she continues to hold her head high and keep looking forward, and she loves them with everything in her, and hen some.

Is your character religious? What religion do they practice, if so?

She’s not really religious and doesn’t actively practice any religion in general, but she does believe in a few different gods, including Ifrit and Shiva (whom she considers to be gods, at the very least, and has yet to find anything that could counter that belief). In particular, she believes the most in Shiva and frequently references her name when angry or startled (EX. ‘Oh, Shiva-’ in lieu of ‘oh, god-’).

How does your character deal with mistakes?

Gently. Sera is the kind of person to be bothered by a mistake and try to make it right as soon as she realizes it’s been made, if at all possible, though particularly large mistakes may take her a little bit to try and rectify solely because she wants to make sure she’s not going to make it worse, first. At the very least, Sera wants to at least apologize for what she’s done, even if she can’t make it right, and does so relatively often to hopefully begin easing any hurts.

What kind of friendships does your character have?

Her friendships are oftentimes more akin to a famlial bond than anything else, but her friends are definitely people that mean quite a bit to her. The ones she has are people who genuinely care, people who are warm and supportive and tend to smile more than anything else. They’re genuine and that’s something the draws her to them - In a world that so often seeks to hurt, these are people who tend to be more honest and giving, and their very presense is comforting. She, in turn, tries to be the same to them for a friendship that’s full of laughs, support, and warmth. They’re bonds that are treasured and can be leaned on when nothing else can, and ones that all parties involved can thrive.

Does your character forgive and forget or do they hold a grudge? Why?

For the most part, Sera tries to forgive and forget... But this is provided she’s also given a good reason to forget, too. Forgiveness comes more often than not, but forgetting is harder for more serious offenses - She can forgive someone for blowing up at her for the sixth time in a week, but it’s harder to forget after that many, for example. A fight with a friend may be forgiven, but it’s harder to forget when they may have said something worse than normal - But to her credit, though she may not always forget, she rarely holds it against them without a damn good reason; ex. being wary to put her trust back in someone after burning her three or four times in a row, just because she’s wary of it happening again at that point. Holding a grudge is reserved for more serious offenses, like the one she holds against her birth family, those who’ve hurt her since then and caused her varying traumas, and folks like the company of Shinra. It’s also worth noting that outside of these select instances, ‘holding a grudge’ is more ‘being wary of being hurt’ than it is anything else, largely because she’s been hurt so often, she’s constantly afraid of it happening again on some level. Even so, she’s more prone to forgive and forget - There’s enough on her mind without constantly thinking back to something just to get riled up all over again!

How do they view the world they live in?

As something broken and divided, full of hurt and suffering with a core of love and light struggling to break through the shadows surrounding it. It’s hard not to see the nightmares of the world when her life’s been full of them, but at the same time, Sera’s no stranger to the world’s kindness, either - She’s alive because of that kindness. She’s seen it in the warm smiles of the people she meets in her travels, the welcoming strangers offering her a warm campfire to sit and joke around beside, the brightness of the children at the Leaf House Orphanage... There is a bright and warm core to the world, fighting to break free, and it just needs a little help in the form of a gentle nudge. It can be a nightmare, but that is far from all it is, and Sera is dedicated to helping that core break through like it struggles to do. It’s there, she knows it - Every struggle is there for a reason. It has to be.

Does your character think with their head or with their heart?

Both, though it’s usually more her heart than her head. Sera is a woman driven by her heart and her emotions, and they often have more say than her head, especially when she lacks the life experience to understand something, be it because of a lack of proper schooling or simply because she’s never really been raised like most among others. But that’s not to say she’s not a logical person, either; she does have a habit of stopping and thinking before leaping, and would much rather find a more peaceful route through something than just throwing herself in if at all possible. ...She just happens to throw herself in in support of others anyway.

Is your character well-schooled? What sort of education did they have?

Absolutely not. Sera has very little in the way of schooling, and what she does have is a result of Ami and Takeru trying to teach her before their passing, as well as the people she’s met along the way teach her things here and there mixed with current friends and Zack trying to help by teaching what they can. She struggles to read, though her ability to is increasing little by little between her good friends Mako, Kunsel, and Zack’s aid, and might otherwise be on the level of perhaps a third grader otherwise. Anything above the most basic math is out of the question, she can’t tell you directions, struggles with reading analog clocks, still needs to count on her fingers a lot of the time... She’s trying, she promises, but it’s definitely slow going and she appreciates Mako being a teacher for a bunch of first graders when it comes to learning!

Finish this meme with whatever you want to tell us about your character!

Sera can’t cook. Never ask her to. She will quite literally blow up an entire kitchen and leave a hole in the wall at worst, and at best deliver to you a meal that probably blinks. Somehow, though, she can bake remarkable and delicious dishes and even she’s not sure how she manages to make a three tier death by chocolate cake, but can’t make oatmeal- In all honesty, though, Sera’s kindness is absolutely genuine and she thrives on seeing others happy, no matter how much she believes she deserves none of it for herself. Her mentality towards herself is slowly changing and that’s greatly added to by her family’s role in her life/the addition of her son Shayan, but she wants nothing more than to see everyone around her thrive and everyone happy and living the best life they can possibly have! <3

TAGGING: Take it if you want, I nabbed i from one of my other blogs <3

#Dash Games TBT;#Colors Of Sakura [Headcanons]#TW: Abuse #TW: Death Mention #TW: Poor Health #TW: Trauma #If anyone needs anything else specific tagged just drop me a line <3 #I've had this hiding in my drafts for a week or two - Figured it was time to finish and post it~

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dazombi3fari3 · 5 years ago

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Morning dolls. How are you doing today? I woke early in pain today… It’s pouring outside and my pain level is through the roof. I started to think, I’m just going to take it easy today. Maybe I wont do my makeup today and I’ll just do a hair mask and a face mask today…. Then I thought but doing my makeup always makes my spirits happy… so I jumped in the shower and sat down and did my makeup….

I’m low on spoons today so I couldn’t wash my hair …. I’ll do it tonight before bed …. so I used my trusty Batiste Dry Shampoo ($8.99 at Ulta) and a mess of hair spray to do my hair today.

As a Fibromyalgia sufferer we only have a limited amount of energy, and that energy decreases so much when we are having a high pain day…. we often have to cut corners or just skip something in order to just get by for that day…. Today is one of those days.

Well on to the face of the day ….

BASE: I’m trying to use up my It Cosmetics Bye Bye Pores Primer ($38 on their website) so that’s what I used today. I woke up with so much darkness under my eyes that I really had to pack on the Tarte CC Undereye Corrector ($25 at Ulta) in Light-Medium. I was a little dry around my eyes today so I stuck with my NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer ($30 at Ulta) in the color Medium 1 Custard. Because I am low on spoons today I chose a foundation that I know always works up easy… Hourglass Seamless Finish Foundation Stick ($46 at Sephora) in the color Buff. I set my whole face with the Charlotte Tilbury Airbrush Flawless Finish Skin Perfecting Micro-Powder ($45 on the Beautylish website) in the color 2 Medium. I again chose a bronzer that needed little effort to work in to the skin … I chose Chanel Soleil Tan De Chanel ($50 on the Chanel website) in Universal Bronze.

EYES: I started to skip out on doing my eye shadow but I was looking very pale today so just chose to do a simple low key look today. I primed, as always, with my Tarte Shape Tape ($25 at Ulta) in the color Light Medium Honey. I picked my BH Cosmetics Ultimate Matte 42 Color Shadow Palette ($28 on their website) as my palette today since the shadows work up so fast and easy. I set my Shape Tape with the first color of the 3rd row (a medium pale cream matte). As my 1st transition shade I chose the 2nd color of the 3rd row (a pale coral peach matte). I chose the 4th shadow of the 1st row (a deep orange coral matte) as my second transition shade. I deepened my crease, outer v, and outer 1/3 of my lid with the 3rd shadow of the 4th row ( a medium true brown matte). I added a bit of definition to my outer v by mixing the 6th shadow of the 5th row (a dusty true mid toned brown matte) with the last color of the last row (a dusty true black matte). I skipped liner today and I skipped doing a drop shadow on the lower lash line, instead I just added a bit of definition on the lower lash line with the 3rd shadow of the 4th row (a medium true brown matte). On the inner 2/3 of my lid I used Hikari Cream Pigment ($15 on the Hikari website) in the color Honey Dew and for my inner corner highlight I used Urban Decay Single Shadow ($20 at Ulta) in the color Midnight Cowboy. I did my brows the same way I’ve been doing them this week …. I used Professional Brow Powder ($10 at Oh La La Brow Bar) in the color Dark Brow and ELF Wow Brow ($4 on their website) in the color Dark Brown. I highlighted my brow bone with the BH Cosmetics Studio Pro Brow Highlighter ($5 on their website) on the matte side and set it with the 1st shade of the 1st row of the BH Cosmetics Palette (a vanilla white matte). I had left my favorite mascara in the other room so I just picked out the one I forgot I purchased when I did my full face of NYX products…. NYX On The Rise Volume Liftscara ($7.70 at Ulta) in the color black.

CHEEKS and LIPS: I already had my BH Cosmetics Classic Blush 10 Color Blush Palette ($12 on their website) at my makeup desk so I chose the 3rd color on the 2nd row (a soft pinky coral matte). I chose the NYX Born to Glow Highlighting Palette ($25 at Ulta) and chose the 2nd color on the 2nd row (a pale gold shimmer highlighter). I highlighted the tops of my cheeks, temples, brow bone, and cupid’s bow. I picked Loreal 6 Hr Infallible Never Fail Lip Liner (6.99 at Walmart) in the color Coral (a true toned coral) and I filled my full lips with this liner. Then I chose NYX Butter Gloss ($5 at Ulta) in the color Creme Brulee (a milky pink coral gloss).

Final Thoughts….

Hourglass Seamless Finish Foundation Stick: A+++ This foundation comes in shades with 9 dedicated to deeper skin tones. You get .25 ounces of product, but a little goes a long way with this one …. like 1 swipe for each cheek and the forehead …. and that gives enough extra for the rest of the face and neck. It’s billed as a full coverage that is water proof and long wearing. This is 100% my favorite foundation! I forgot I had it in my collection. It fell off my foundation shelf when I was looking for a low maintenance BB cream and I remembered how simple it was to use this one. It’s a demi matte foundation with great coverage ( I would say it’s more a medium full coverage) The color is spot on my tone. This foundation doesn’t set down , you do need to use a powder to set it , but it leaves the skin looking so succulent, so healthy looking that I don’t mind needing a bit of powder. I remember this was the foundation I chose every time I traveled anywhere. It was the foundation I used on very important days too.

Chanel Soleil Tan De Chanel: A+++!!! I gush over this bronzer every time I use it I know… but I can’t help it! This bronzer is that good!! It’s the perfect tone. It’s a cream to powder formula (normally I hate cream products but this one melts into the skin so flawlessly that it’s a joy to use.). This bronzer warms up the face so wonderfully… it’s the only bronzer I’ve ever used that looks like a tan, not like makeup. If you want to spurge on something special for yourself , consider making this your high ticket product., you wont regret it.

BH Cosmetics Ultimate Matte 42 Color Shadow Palette: A++ I love that there is a palette out there that can handle any look you want to do. This palette has all the best of the neutral world and has great pops of color. For a drug store palette these highly pigmented mattes are creamy, finely milled, and blend like a dream. Unlike other palettes, this palette’s mattes can be layered on top of each other without loosing the color payoff of each color… in other words … they don’t muddle together.

Hikari Cream Pigment: A++ I don’t own many cream products, I hate the way they look on me, but this cream pigment is amazing!!! It’s very creamy but applies like a powder. It’s the perfect shade for a lid or inner corner highlight. There are 21 shades to chose from … ranging from dewy to smokey …. and the price tag isn’t bad for the quality you get with this pigment.

Urban Decay Single Shadow * specifically Midnight Cowboy *: A- If you have been reading my blog for any period of time you know by now I HATE GLITTER. But Midnight Cowboy is such a beautiful color that I just deal with the glitter in it. Urban Decay single shadows come in 63 colors, of which I own two, Midnight Cowboy and Loaded ( a deep emerald I use around Christmas time … some matte, satin, and shimmer (with glitter). A little of this shade goes a long way and it really brightens up any look.

NYX On The Rise Volume Liftscara: D I really hated working with this mascara. It left my eyelashes crunchy and lifeless. I also hate the applicator brush… it’s one of those plastic bristle brushes, I can’t stand the way it applied… I’ll try to use it up but I more than likely will be throwing this one away.

NYX Born to Glow Highlighting Palette: B- I love the color of these highlighters but once again …. GLITTER!!!! It’s finely milled, not chunky like other highlighters, but again I just don’t like glitter… and this highlighter picks up every imperfection of the cheeks. It’s still pretty in color tone so I’ll use it up but I wont repurchase.

Loreal 6Hr Infallible Never Fail Lip Liner: A+ This color comes in 8 shades… of which I own 1… Coral. This liner is the perfect consistency… It’s not too waxy not too creamy …. it’s a perfect mix of both. I normally use it to fill in my lips or contour my lips and then I use a gloss over top … It lasts a long time too. I am thinking of picking up a couple of back ups of this shade …. I don’t really like any of the other shades.

NYX Butter Gloss: A+++ This gloss comes in 32 shades. I own 5. I use to own them all but when I de-cluttered my stash when we were moving I passed them on to my niece. I am going to pick up more shades shortly… It’s the perfect formula… not at all sticky, not at all greasy feeling… it doesn’t travel outside the lip line…. the pigmentation is a medium pigmentation so you still see a little skin underneath so if you want more of a color payoff you will need to cancel out your lips by using a foundation, concealer, or face powder. This is a great little lip gloss.

Well that’s all for now babies … Tomorrow’s and Wednesday’s Face of the Day may be posted on Thursday …. Not sure if I will have the time to post before the Holiday Memorial tomorrow, and I may be out of spoons on Thursday …. but I will try and post them as soon as possible….

Remember … Save a spoon for a bit of makeup ….

XOXO

Coral Face of the Day Morning dolls. How are you doing today? I woke early in pain today... It's pouring outside and my pain level is through the roof.

#Beauty #Face of the day #Fibromyalgia #Fibromyalgia Awearness #hair #Makeup #makeup review

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deansleather · 8 years ago

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Thundering

SPN Rare Ship CC: Round 10 | deansleather vs. @vintagesam

Pairing: Denny (Dean x Benny)

Prompt(s): Dry Thunderstorm for @rareshipcreationschallenge ‘s round ten.

“Are we completely sure that’s how it’s supposed to look?” for @thing-you-do-with-that-thing ‘s Hiatus Challenge Week 2

Summary: After a late night fit, Benny gives Dean some well deserved comfort.

If you’d like to join any of my tag lists please message/ ask or add yourself to my google doc tag list! Whatever is easiest for you!

Word Count: 1674

Warnings: fluff and angst equally, a comfort fic, SFW

A/N: I kind of got on my soap box with this one; Dean just deserves so much love, and some acknowledgement of his traumas! The italics section is a flashback. This is a bit different for me, so FEEDBACK IS SO VERY LOVED AND NEEDED! EVEN JUST A LIKE!

“What happens when people open their hearts?" "They get better.” ― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

It was a particularly hot night in Louisiana. This wasn’t new of course, it was Louisiana after all, yet it still took its inhabitants by storm. Dean and Benny had taken turns all day tending the bar they owned together, before just deciding to close the damn thing down for the day; neither of them could hardly walk for a few moments without overheating. They had expected to find a sort of reprieve in the night’s cool, but there was no such luck. It wasn’t all bad though; Benny couldn’t deny that he loved seeing Dean all sweaty.

Dean hated every minute of this. Weather this hot was only okay when he was lounging next to the ocean, not sweating it out next to a swamp. Despite the weather patterns, he did love Louisiana. The potent liquor, the constant music, the domestic, bar-owning life with Benny; he was safe and happy, for what felt like the first time in his life. Going home to their log cabin in the woods felt like a reward every day, and with the heat, it was even more favorable.

Both Dean and Benny loved their bedroom; a wall made entirely of glass to their right, their bed unbelievably soft (and expensive, as Dean had tsked about from the beginning. With the reputation Dean had, Benny was infinitely amused at Dean’s old man tendencies), the decorations gathered over time from the places they had travelled together. As they finally climbed in bed, covers practically thrown on the floor, Benny stayed awake for a while. It was too hot to really get sleep anyway, and looking at Dean and the beautiful life they had created, Benny couldn’t help but reminisce. The last time he saw Dean so sweaty was when they attempted building the house they now resided in.

“Jesus,” Dean scoffed to himself. “You’d think this wouldn’t be so strenuous, seeing as I’ve killed things twice my size.”

“Yeah, a year ago,” Benny snorted, walking over to Dean, patting his back playfully. “Now you’ve had too many of my famous pancakes to ever go back.”

Dean smiled, patting his stomach. “I wouldn’t want to go back.”

Benny rolled his eyes, but smiled back, looking at their work so far. Dean joined him, squinting his eyes as the sun peeked out from the trees at intervals. They had picked a forested piece of land, as far from civilization from possible. They didn’t plan on being hermits, but they both agreed they needed some well-deserved alone time when at home. Home. Neither of them could believe it, they were finally getting the life they had wanted since purgatory, or at least after the urge to kill started to subside. Benny tilted his head, looking at Dean from the corner of his eye.

“Uhm, Dean?” Benny began.

“Yeah?”

“Are we completely sure that’s how it’s supposed to look?” Benny drawled, his Cajun accent strong as ever.

Dean sucked in his lips, shaking his head as he looked it over. His head tilted to the right as he continued to look. It was all quite exaggerated. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what the problem was.

“Well,” Dean shrugged, his smirk breaking character. “I believe our house may be crooked.”

Benny laughed with no shame or stress. Dean grinned at the scene; there was something about the way he laughed that made it impossible to be unhappy. Dean still felt a slight twinge in his stomach; of course, building their own house wasn’t necessarily practical, but he had really wanted it to work.

“Don’t you worry,” Benny comforted, as though he had read Dean’s mind. “We’ll work this out. We always do.”

“How?” Dean sighed, looking back to the tilted structure.

“We hire somebody to do it right, to try and fix our mess.” Before Dean could interject, Benny pulled him close by the waist, moving in to whisper in his ear. Dean blushed hearing that deep, accented voice so close. “And us? Well we’ll be far off till it’s done, lounging and loving. And you won’t need to worry ‘bout a thing.”

Dean finally smiled, the real smile Benny always went after, and they leaned in for a quick kiss. Even in a relationship, they weren’t too much about all the touchy stuff. But it was enough; they were enough.

“You know,” Dean jibed, that air of arrogance coming back to him. “Some people pay to see a tilted building. They spend thousands flying over an ocean to take pictures next to it.”

“That’s it,” Benny nodded.

“What?”

“That’s where we’ll go. Tower of Pisa, right? That’s where we’ll be, until our home is ready, and we’ve got all this crooked building business out of our system.”

Dean laughed incredulously, but nodded anyway. “Sure, Benny. I’ll pack, you call the builders.”

In the silence of the night, Benny let out the faintest laugh. Against all odds, fighting against both their hazardous pasts, they somehow managed to come together, forming into a generally functioning duo. Many parts of their life were crooked, but it was happy and it wasn’t lonely, and that was all they could ask for.

In midst of Benny’s thoughts, a loud bang erupted outside. Benny rubbed his eyes, sitting up slightly to see over Dean and through the window-wall. It was silent for a moment, before once more the sky was lit up by the bright purple of lightning, the deep rumble of the thunder following soon after, much louder than the first bang. Benny shook his head; no rain. He knew the heat would bring on some sort of weather oddity. It’d been years since Louisiana had a dry thunderstorm, they usually hit Texas, and Benny just prayed that it wouldn’t catch their little wooden log house on fire.

Suddenly, a deafening bang of thunder erupted, lightning flashing wildly all over the sky. It was loud enough to startle Benny, but it entirely terrified his sleeping husband. Dean shot straight up, grabbing at the gun underneath the mattress fitfully. His heart was racing, the unending noise outside prolonging his panic.

“Dean, Dean!” Benny called. “Dean, wake up, it’s just thunder.”

Dean was on his feet by the time the words came out of Benny’s mouth, and it took a moment for him to process. He looked around for a moment; the gun in his hand, the intense weather outside, the worried look on Benny’s face. He finally realized his situation, and worked on getting his breathing back to normal. He laughed softly, embarrassment evident as he scratched the back of his neck.

“Ah, sorry Ben,” Dean murmured, replacing the gun in its proper position with the safety turned on. “Just uh…jumpy tonight, I guess.”

Benny shook his head, extending an arm out towards Dean. “C’mere.”

Dean hesitated, but quickly hopped back into bed, letting Benny pull him close. Benny kissed Dean’s forehead, speaking softly as he rubbed up and down Dean’s back.

“What were you afraid of?” Benny asked finally, his tone filled with sorrow. His Dean was scared; he should never have to feel that when next to Benny.

“It was nothing, just startled,” Dean grumbled, shoving his face into Benny’s chest.

“No, no, no,” Benny drawled, pulling Dean’s head back softly by his hair. “Me sneaking up behind you is startled. That just now was terrified.”

Dean thought for a moment, looking into the softness in Benny’s eyes. He felt sick, he couldn’t deny it. Dean had only talked about it once, just briefly with Sam. It had hurt then, but it was almost worse now. All these years later, and Hell still haunted him.

“The thunder and lightning, the endless heat, all without any rain or respite…it just felt an awful lot like Hell for a minute there,” Dean sniffed, shaking his head. “It’s really nothing.”

Benny nodded, thinking.

“You know, it wasn’t your fault, being sent to Hell. You’re a good man, Dean. The best damn man I’ve ever met,” Benny gently assured. Dean shrugged.

“I’ve done a lot of bad, Benny,” he refuted. “And not all of it was for the greater good.”

“You have no idea, do you?” Benny murmured. Dean squinted at him, confused.

“What?”

“What you’ve given up? For over thirty years, your life was only ever about Sam. And that ain’t nothing against him, I’ve learned to love the big guy nearly as much as you do, but that’s a crime, Dean. You act like you’ve been dealt some decent hand and killed for fun. You’ve been put second for the entirety of your life; you deserve more than just slack, you deserve a god damn award.”

Benny stopped when he heard the soft grumbling from Dean, the thunder nearly covering it up. He pulled him in even closer, reaching a hand to wipe away some tears. Benny knew he’d never be able to undo all the pain, but he’d do his damn best to destroy that unwarranted self-hatred.

“For all the people who should have said it and haven’t; I’m sorry, Dean. I’m sorry you’ve been put through so much and never appreciated. I’m sorry you’ve been told that Sam’s life is more important than yours. But mostly, I’m sorry you can’t see how strong you are for coming this far and still being in as good of shape as you are.”

As his speech came to an end, the thunder also began to dissipate. In the silence, Dean smiled softly against Benny’s chest. He was broken beyond repair, but he couldn’t deny it felt good for someone to try anyway.

As the silence wore on, all Dean could manage to say was “I love you.”

“And you know I love you.”

Even with the heat, Dean remained in Benny’s arms for the night. They both drifted off, feeling like they had managed to get even closer than before. As the storm moved on and Dean listened to the steady breathing of his lover, he slept for what felt like the first time in years.

~~~

Forever Tags, Michelle’s Denny and All Ship Tags, Pond’s Denny Tags:

@mrswhozeewhatsis @vintagevalentinexx @sis-tafics @meganwinchester1999 @chrisatplay @mamaimpala @skybinx-blog @theficlibrarium @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki @ferferelli @chrisatplay @faith-in-dean @mamaimpala @faegal04 @notnaturalanahi @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @justanothersaltandburn @brothersonahotelbed @hexparker @notnaturalanahi @roxy-davenport @mrswhozeewhatsis @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @deals-with-demons @jarnesbrnes @spnashley @aprofoundbondwithdean @mrswhozeewhatsis @mysupernaturalfics @waywardlullabies @teamfreewill-imagine @lucifer-in-leather @sunkissedsam @chaos-and-the-calm67 @purgatoan @stardustsam @secret-stashes @supernatural-jackles @peppermintbisexual @winvhesters @nerdwholikesword @frenchybell @feelmyroarrrr @obsessedwithmisha @wanderingcas @diestiel @kittenofdoomage @fandommaniacx @trinityjadec @hanny-banannyyy @nothingtoworryaboat @growningupgeek @d-s-winchester @mysteriouslyme81 @jensen-jarpad @deathtonormalcy56 @jpadjackles @mogaruke @satans666thdaughter @bobbysingerismybaby @keepcalmandcarryondean @theficlibrarium

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evnoweb · 6 years ago

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Everyone has a story …

… or so we were told by an English teacher from elementary school. Of all the teachers that taught me English, she’s the only one that continues to come to mind when I think about writing.

Why?

I haven’t got a clue. I enjoyed writing; I just hated her rules. I’m sure most people recognize the routine, the writing cycle, and all the rules. Double space your rough draft, learn the editing symbols, use a green pen for edits, and the creation of the final product. You’d have to hand in both versions and somehow I got a B or a C and then moved on. They rules seemed to be designed to make her job easier as teacher and not ours as writers. Of course, it involved cursive writing.

It was only later when I worked with a gentleman who was a real scholar about writing where he filled in the blanks for me and made so much sense. At the time, all the writing I did was technical and looked like the sort of manual that you’d expect to get with a computer or software. He really helped out, just by recognizing what I was doing, and explaining all the missing pieces.

I have always written – for myself, and for students, and for colleagues. His approach changed my writing and then the blogging platform made all the difference in the world. I still remember (and use) all the rules I formally learned but someone I had a newer approach that was more friendly and productive. There are even moments when I write for myself just so that I reinforce a concept and not necessarily have it intended for anyone else. But, I still appreciate that there are some who do drop by regularly to read it. I like that my instance of WordPress has a tag called “Just Rambling”.

And, of course, I can add a gratuitous piece of art too if I wish.

Photo Credit: pedrosimoes7 Flickr via Compfight cc

I just happened to run across this infographic from Wiley (it’s copyrighted so I won’t display it here but you can see it for yourself.)

12 Habits of Highly Productive Writers

There are 12 points emphasized in it.

they reject the notion of “writer’s block”

they don’t overtalk their projects

they believe in themselves and their work

they know that a lot of important stuff happens when they’re not “working”

they’re passionate about their projects

they know what they’re good at

they read a lot, and widely

they know how to finish a draft

they work on more than one thing at once

they leave off at a point where it will be easy to start again

they don’t let themselves off the hook

they know there are no shortcuts, no magic bullets, special exercises or incantations

Each point has a developed explanation. I find it interesting that it’s all about writing and not writing with technology.

When I look at what I do on this blog, I now realize that my writing habits are an amalgam of advice from both. I suspect that we know so much more today about writing that my English teacher couldn’t make practical. We certainly have better tools for those brainstorming, rough drafting, editing, publishing, etc. moments.

This all made me think about what I do. I know that I’m never going to be the next big author. When I look at what passes for publishing these days, I’m not sure that I want to be either. In some cases, it’s not original work but rather a regurgitation of someone else’s work. I think I learned that word from my English teacher in the context of what we call plagiarism today…

I don’t think my English teacher would survive for long in today’s classroom, with today’s tools and resources using the techniques that we had back then. By the same token, my friend and the list of habits above wouldn’t have the importance that they do without the basics.

I shudder when I hear all of this talk about going back to the basics. Where do we really think we’re headed should we do that? Let’s shift the conversation to let’s build on the basics and move forward confidently with the best that we have.

Everyone has a story … published first on https://medium.com/@DigitalDLCourse

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ahumanexperiencemoment · 6 years ago

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“Sometimes the Road Calls (or It’s A Midlife Crisis)” Part 2 Of 3.

So, back to my newest bike… When I was looking a few months ago, I found a motorcycle that I just fell in love with at first sight. It was a Janus Halcyon 250. They are handmade in a small shop in Northern Indiana and they look like a throwback to the 1930s style of motorcycle. It’s a compact bike with a 250-cc engine but I didn’t care. I just wanted a new experience.

I already have a Harley Davidson but the Road King that I have is just too big for some things. Don’t get me wrong, the Road King is nice. It rides well, has a lot of power and is great for touring, or highway use, but it’s just too big to enjoy zipping around town on (at least for me). And to be honest, it has been a few years since I have ridden on it. The last time I took it out, I was living in Arizona and roads out there have a way of petering out into primitive dirt roads, even some that are supposed to be “highways.” It’s a heavy bike and my wife was on the back and we were just enjoying the ride. We decided to take the Florence-Kelvin Highway because it looked like it would shave a few hours off of the trip we were on. However, about 18 miles into, this “highway” became a primitive dirt road that was washboard in some areas going through the mountains. By the time we made it to the dirt road, we were too far along to turn around. I’ll be honest, I haven’t had white- knuckle riding like that in a long time, if ever. The bike bounced around a lot and with my wife on the back, I was just praying I didn’t get her or myself hurt. And when we got back home, I was just reluctant to go back out again, as that experience kind of soured it for me.

A funny side note about that Harley…. I remember when I was looking to buy it. It was in 2005 and I was overseas doing security work and living in the middle of Kabul, Afghanistan. Yes, some places in that country were downright stone age with mud huts and dirt floors but where I was staying in Kabul had electricity and even internet. The military and government had a program where you could buy brand new vehicles with little markup, so a person could get a really good deal. The only downside was that you bought it unseen, and undriven, and it would be delivered to a dealership near your hometown. I was sitting in the communal computer area which sat just off the living room of our compound house, and there were four computers we could use sitting side by side. I was looking at the different motorcycles and I will never forget what happened next. A buddy came walking in and saw what I was looking at and exclaimed,” You are getting a motorcycle?! Those things are dangerous!” I just stared at him dumbfoundedly. The things we get used to. Here we were doing security work, aka armed taxi/protection service in a war zone, where we had to avoid roadside bombs and the occasional rocket attack and this guy remarked how dangerous a motorcycle was. The irony of the moment was not lost on me.

Fast forward to now… I felt like I needed adventure and so I decided, what the heck, I am getting this bike. I went online to the Janus Motorcycle website, picked what I wanted on my Janus Halcyon and plopped down the initial deposit to get the ball rolling. They said it would take about twelve weeks to complete so I patiently waited for the bike to arrive. It was during this time, I also decided foolheartedly that I was going to drive it back from Northern Indiana to New Orleans, where I now live, after picking it up. That would have been quite a challenge for such a small bike. The motorcycle wasn’t made for interstate 65+ miles per hour driving. It was made for back roads, country highways, county roads, so the trip would take much longer… several hours longer.

Here again, there but for the grace of God goes I and sometimes, things happen fortuitously. Every year on Memorial Day weekend, my mother’s family has a reunion that takes place in Southern Illinois, which just happened to coincide with the time that the motorcycle’s assembly would be complete, and it would be ready for pickup. The more I thought about riding it all the way back to New Orleans, the more I was rethinking that idea. Between Southern Illinois and New Orleans, I would have been going through many areas that were remote and where I didn’t know anyone close by; on an untested bike, I thought maybe it would be unwise. Thankfully, my mother who lives in Florida, wanted to go to the reunion, so my wife decided to pick her up in our truck in Pensacola, then we would have the means to transport the bike back to New Orleans.

I flew out on a Thursday morning and met a friend, who I served with in Afghanistan, in Chicago. To fly into Northern Indiana would have cost quite a bit more than if I just flew into Chicago. Thankfully, my buddy responded after seeing a post on Facebook asking if anyone could give me ride. Of course, another mutual friend who we served with together in Afghanistan made sure to tag him, so he would see it. I am fortunate to have the best of friends, even ones I haven’t seen in years. We all may not be close, or talk all the time, and years could pass, but we can still pick up like nothing has happened. Originally, the idea was to get dinner, hang out, maybe spend the night; I wasn’t quite sure but come the day of the trip, my buddy had to work that evening and wouldn’t be able to hang out long. He met me at the airport with his beautiful daughter, who was maybe three or four, and even though he was going to be late to work, he decided to drive me the 2 to 3 hours anyway because he said he would. It’s so important to surround yourself with good people. We spent the whole trip talking, reminiscing about old times and old friends, life, and future plans. It was a really good time and one I look forward to doing again.

By the time we got to the Janus Motorcycle shop, it was around 3 p.m. and my buddy had to get back, so we said our goodbyes. Then the good people of Janus Motorcycles showed me around the shop, where the bikes are made. I was also introduced to all the talented people who had a hand in building my motorcycle from the ground up, from putting it together to the artistic painting to the test drives; I met each one responsible for putting together my bike. They showed me my bike and it was beautiful, a solid British racing green color with gold lettering and brown leather seats. The clouds parted, and the sun’s rays shined down like a finger onto my bike while I heard the angels’ chorus reverberating through the sky… just kidding…but it wasn’t too far off the mark. They gave me a quick class on the bike such as “this is where the choke is,” “this is where the fuel switch is to switch to reserve,” etc. Originally, the plan was to get the bike, spend the night in town or with my friend and start off early in the morning on Friday. However, since it was late May and only 4:00 in the afternoon, there were several hours of daylight left. I was also feeling pretty excited and energized, so I decided that I would go ahead and start the trip and see how far I could get that night before finding some hole-in-the-wall along the way, to recharge for the remainder of my excursion. I loaded up the bike with my gear, which was quite a pain. I had brought saddlebags with me but they could only hold a small amount. I filled them to the brim with my extra jackets, water, and camera bag. I had my helmet, my leather jacket (the same one that kept me safe twenty years prior) and I had an old military style duffle bag that held my laptop, extra clothes, travel items, rain gear, tools. I tried to cinch the duffle bag down with tie downs, but it was just an awkward load. It was very precarious looking indeed. Even the Janus owners stepped up and offered me an extra come-along- styled tie down, for which I was very grateful. I finally was semi-successful in securing my gear, but due to bumps and vibrations, there were several times during the trip where I would have to stop, readjust and move on. In fact, somewhere later that day along the way, the tie down that the Janus folks gave me flew off. I wish I had known when it had come off, because I would have returned to get it. I hated it that I lost something that was given to me, but such is life sometimes.

I left the shop in Goshen, Indiana, heading south on 5th street and hit Main Street for a couple of blocks before turning right onto Route 119. It was a beautiful day and the sun was warm without it being unbearable. The Janus folks told me of some good places to eat nearby and I had thought about it, but it being such a nice day and as excited as I was, I decided to just keep going. I passed a golf course as I was leaving Goshen and just took in the beauty of my surroundings. I have never been to northern Indiana before and let me tell you something, it is truly a charming area. It’s picturesque with farmland as far as the eye can see and definitely Amish farm country, as I had to pass several horse-drawn buggies while driving past huge grain silos and big red barns off in the distance while I rode along the country roads. There were so many places I wanted to stop and take a photo but sadly, I felt like I had to get as many miles as I could in since I was traveling slow and stopping to take pictures every couple miles would have made the trip even longer.

The first place I stopped to gas up was the little town of Bourbon, Indiana on Route 331. It was quaint, small town, middle-America. I filled up the tank and decided to take a break. It was still less than an hour since I had started the trip, but the bike is a hardtail, meaning there are no shocks to absorb bumps in the road, and also meaning you really experience the road, both good and bad. I pulled the motorcycle over to a parking area in front of the store where I called my wife to let her know my plans, that I was going to try and see how far I could get that day before stopping. On trips and in life, it’s always a good idea to let people know what you are up to. If, God forbid, something ever happened, it would give people a good starting point to come look for you. Three teenage girls, too young to drive but old enough to venture out by themselves, came walking up to the store as I was gassing up. They were all wearing skirts that went past their knees and reminded me of a Christian upbringing where skirts were highly encouraged to wear. In fact, they almost reminded me of some of my extended family. Just wholesome (hopefully) kids and high on life. They laughed and joked on stories and thoughts I had no knowledge of. Just an innocent time of life going up to the store to buy soda pop and walk back home.

(Bourbon, Indiana)

As I was sitting there, an older guy, maybe mid 50s, came walking up. He looked a little rough around the edges, but he stopped as he passed by, talked and admired the bike. I told him a little about it and he liked what he heard; I told him that the motorcycles were made less than an hour away which surprised him. He had no idea such a nice motorcycle was made so close by. He didn’t stop to talk for very long before he went inside the store. That’s one thing I can say about the bike - it’s a conversational piece, which in all honesty, is part of the reason I bought it. I went into the store to use the restroom and as I was walking back to my bike to saddle up and leave, the three young girls were giggling about something and one of them said, “Well the owner is right there,” to which they all turned around and looked. The girl that initially said something looked embarrassed and said something quickly to effect of, “No I mean, I like your bike.” The other two just kind of laughed at her. I didn’t hear what she originally said; I just smiled and kind of nodded in acknowledgement and they quickly walked on. It was a moment in time that no one will remember but sheds light on life in a small town, middle-of-nowhere America. I hopped back on my bike and continued on.

I rode past little towns with names like, Old Tip Town, Tippecanoe and Talma. I couldn’t help but wonder about the origin behind some of the names I saw. The countryside, although beautiful, became a slow-motion blur. Even though I wasn’t driving fast, averaging anywhere from 45 to 55 miles an hour, the landscape started to run together. A small town, country, houses, farms, a small town and all over again. At this point of the trip, it had been a long day already.

All throughout the trip, I was listening to music via Pandora on my phone. For most of the first day, I was listening to the channel based on John Denver. During one of the many times I had to stop to adjust my duffle bag, I changed the music to the Boston channel to play music that was a little more upbeat. As soon I started again, Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song” came on and I got an instant second wind and I started to nod my head to the rhythm of the music and the drum beat, “Da-da-da-na, da-da-da-na, "Ah-aaa-aaaaaaaa-ah!". I will remember that moment for the rest of my days. Although I am sure that I was quite a sight… almost head-banging with my helmet on while riding a small bike overloaded with a duffle bag that looked suspiciously like it would topple over any moment. Thankfully, there wasn’t a ton of traffic out there with me.

Pretty soon, I came to Logansport, Indiana and veered right towards Lafayette. Once I got to Lafayette, I took a small county road and rode past subdivisions and up and down winding roads. It wasn’t long before my fuel and my bike was letting me know that it was time to fill up. It doesn’t have a fuel light; it just shuts off, which made it interesting because you couldn’t start the bike unless it was in neutral. I had to pull off the road a couple of times because at first, I didn’t realize that I was almost out of gas. I switched to the reserve gas tank and started looking for a gas station. By this time, I was outside Lafayette and there was a small town on my map up ahead a few miles. I decided to stop there.

The sun wasn’t quite set, but it was getting to the tree line. I have to admit - I was getting a little sore. I was also getting pretty tired, as I didn’t sleep well the night before the trip because I knew I had to get up early. I pulled into the gas station and my mind was kind of numb where I faced a challenge that I haven’t seen in some time. It was a gas pump without a credit card reader. I just starred at it dumbfounded, thinking “What do I do?” I walked into the station and asked the young lady behind the counter what I needed to to – “Do I need to prepay inside or go fill up and come back inside?” She said, “Well, you can pay for it afterwards.” This is what I did my whole life growing up, but it’s funny how reliant upon technology we have become. I haven’t seen a gas pump without a card reader since… Well, I can’t even remember when. So, after I had a good laugh at myself, I filled up the tank and went back inside to pay and use the restroom.

(Arni’s and the gas station in Pine Village, Indiana)

There was a small restaurant called Arni’s that was in the same building as the gas station. Before I went inside, I called my wife to let her know where I was and then I went inside to eat. I was pretty spent and walked up to the counter. The inside was a lot homier than the outside looked with a natural wood tongue and groove paneling and various pictures and items hung up around the room. The kid behind the counter was wearing glasses and friendly. I asked him what he suggested, and he asked how hungry I was. He ended up recommending the chicken quesadilla and we talked for a little while longer. He asked me about the trip so far. I had my duffle bag with leather jacket and helmet with me so it was plain to anyone who looked at me that I was traveling. I told him a little bit about it and then I went to find a seat. Not long after, he showed up and put the food in front of me. He then asked me if I knew what town I was in and proceeded to tell me the name, which was Pine Village. It was a small town, the kind of place that makes you wonder how people got there and why they stayed. It didn’t look like there was much was around the area. It was a pretty little town, but so far off the beaten path, it makes you wonder about the stories of all the people that live there.

I noticed a young, cute couple sitting at a table next to me. They looked to be high school sweethearts or maybe college-aged. I have no idea what they were talking about but they seemed to enjoy each other’s company. The joys of youth and excitement at that age. It wasn’t long before they finished and when they went outside, they got into a huge pickup truck and it was off to the next adventure.

There were also two older couples eating together on the other side of the restaurant. I didn’t pay them much mind, but it struck me how that young couple that just left will one day (if they stay together) will be one of those old couples over there, especially if they never leave town.

As I sat eating my food, which was outstanding by the way, and I would highly recommend it, I looked outside and watched an old timer walk up the street, stop to look at the bike and then walk into the store. By the reaction of everyone in there, I believe they knew him. In small towns like that, I am sure everyone knows one another. The old timer came over and saw my jacket, which has a Marine Corps patch, as well as several sewn-on flag patches from various countries I have served in. He told me he was a captain in Korea and started talking about not seeing that brand of bike since he was overseas decades ago. I hadn’t the heart to tell him that he was wrong and that it was brand new bike sitting out there. I just smiled and engaged him in conversation. He told me that he also served in Vietnam and just kind of rambled on. I am not writing that in a derogatory sense but more like he felt a need to make a connection. He told me he was 78 years old. While we talked, he said some questionable things, either because I didn’t quite hear what he was saying quite right or what he said didn’t make perfect sense, but I ignored it and just kind of went with it. 1) because I was tired and 2) at that age, I think he was just happy to have someone listen to him. After a while, he thanked me for my service and I thanked him for his and continued on his way outside and back on down the street from where he came.

(A view of Pine Village, Indiana)

I finished my food and sucked down the last of the soft drink before getting up and taking my dishes back up to the counter. I expressed my thanks for the recommendation and I headed back out. By this time, the sun was setting and it was taking on that greyish look that you see when it’s not bright, but it’s not dark either, “twilight” if you will. I stayed on the road that ran through that village until it hit Highway 41. It was a four lane highway but there wasn’t much traffic on it on Thursday night, and since I was going slower than pretty much everyone else, those I did see passed me on by.

It wasn’t long before the temperature dropped and I had to zip up my jacket to stay warm. It also wasn’t long before the bugs were out and I had forgotten what it was like to ride a motorcycle without a full-face helmet and/or a windshield. Those bugs hurt. They get attracted by the headlight and then kamikaze right into your cheek or ear… or wherever. It was pretty bad. I had to pull over and put on my wet-weather over-jacket because it had more of a neck to it. Then I had to snuggle my face and scrunch my neck a little to bring the neck material up to my glasses, so I could protect my face as best I could. I rode on and it was a little better.

Now, another issue started to take effect that was slowly getting worse throughout the day. Since it had been a couple years since I had ridden any type of motorcycle and with it being a new bike, the clutch was stiff and my hand started to cramp up after a while. It started a couple hours into the ride and it was steadily getting worse to the point that I could hardly change gears without great discomfort. Thankfully, being on that back-road highway with little traffic, I didn’t have to shift as much and was probably the only reason I made it so far that first night.

It was getting later into the evening, close to eleven o’clock, when I hit Terre Haute, Indiana, which turned out to be a sizable town. I was really tired at this point but I was also on the verge of saying “Screw it,” and riding it all the way to my destination in southern Illinois, but that would have been a few more hours. Finally, I thought to myself, well, if I find a roach motel with ground floor doors because I didn’t want to leave my bike outside, I would stop. Maybe it was God’s way of telling me to stop because immediately after having that thought, I saw a roach motel in the guise of a Travel Lodge. I pulled up and hobbled off my bike. The staff was friendly and gave me a ground floor room where I promptly manhandled my bike through the front door. After getting the motorcycle in, I realized that I really needed to turn it around so I could get it back out of the door. The room was set up rather weirdly with the bed being in the middle of the room. The bed couldn’t be moved, so I had to roll my bike to the other side of the room and try to turn it around. I almost felt like I was playing life-sized Tetris, all while trying to stay quiet and not bump the walls because I didn’t want to raise a commotion. Finally…. finally, I got it turned around and saw that I had dead bugs all over the front of the bike. I also noticed my jacket was covered. I went into the bathroom and wet a wash cloth and started to clean the bike as well as the jacket. It was a little disgusting, but I am glad that I cleaned it right away before it had time to settle and become really crusty... gross. At this point, I was beat. I called my wife and then went to bed.

(Playing Tetris in the motel room)

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