#I hate taking pics in my room such bad lighting </3

[fishedeyelenz]

Well, she managed to girl boss her way into fucking that deranged guy living in the attic, but at what cost 😔

[jaylver]

GUYS MY AGE — S.JY

synopsis: dating guys your age almost all your life has got you sick and tired and most definitely deprived of being treated well. that was until you met an older guy at a club one night, not knowing it would soon develop into something more.

pairings: non-idol!jake x afab!reader

genre: strangers to lovers, romance, implied age difference, jake is aged up (everyone is legal aged!!!)

warning(s): profanities, drinking, mild suggestiveness (no smut)

wc: 1473

a/n: hi 😘 currently i'm still figuring out my next long fics and stuff so here's some drabbles that i fortunately squeeze out of my brain. i realised i don't have many jake fics despite him being bias 😭 i'm sorry for that </3 so here's one greatly inspired by hey violet's guys my age 💓 + my current fav jake pics. hope you enjoy this one! please leave a feedback and reblogs are appreciated!

masterlist | © jaylver 2023 all rights reserved

Going out to a party shouldn’t be a bad idea, right?

Maybe the first mistake was agreeing to an invite from your friends to a random party in the club, believing their claims that you should put yourself out there more after your break up. As much as you hate to admit it, they weren’t exactly wrong, especially when you stay cooped up in your room all day.

It has been months since the break up and you haven’t seen him since then. All because he was immature and didn’t want to grow up, which prompted the imminent break up. Well, there you were now, by your friends in a club you were unfamiliar with, dressed in something low-cut that they had picked out, and it surely worked out as you were gaining attention from people around.

A few drinks in later, you were starting to loosen up, feeling the need to dance and fuck around more. So, that was exactly what you did. 

Stumbling through the crowd and getting on the dancefloor was already tiring, but somehow that wasn’t stopping you from anything. The dim lights and loud music completely made you unaware that someone was approaching from behind, until you felt a presence close to your back and you spun around. 

Wow.

Despite the fact that it was hard to make out his face entirely, something about him and his aura screamed hotness. You could still tell how he looked vaguely. Prominent cheekbones, hair styled up, alluring eyes and the key point of it all, his lips.

From the looks of it, he doesn't seem to be your age either. He was most definitely older. Adding to the spice of it all, he seemed expensive. Hell, the cologne he wore alone smelled like something out of your budget.

Dressed in a simple button up, the chains and rings decked out on him simply added to his attractiveness. Gosh, he was the opposite of your ex. Now that you know, guys your age only disappoint you, so what's stopping you from having fun this one time?

Okay, so you weren’t about to get yourself a restraining order either. He was just too irresistible.  Although you were screaming at yourself internally, you held yourself back, instead, you let him come to you. And boy, he definitely did. 

Almost too naturally and smoothly, he moved closer to you, snaking an arm around your waist while you threw your arms around his neck. You didn’t say anything and he only took it as a sign to continue. 

“Hey,” he said by your ear, miraculously loud enough for you to hear. “I’m Jake,”

Usually, you might've thought it was lame, but maybe it was your semi-drunken state or simply his pretty face that gave you a green pass.

"Hi," you answered back rather meekly. "I'm Y/N,"

"Y/N," he echoed, eyes glinting in the dark. "Want to get out of here?"

Crazily and insanely you were for following him to his car, letting him drive you to an abandoned spot and sneak to the backseat. It was probably the Aussie accent and blond hair that got you. 

It didn't take long before you let him kiss you, feeling the flames bursting in your abdomen. The way he kissed was deep and feverish; dirty but gentle enough. Slowly, you felt his hand trace up your thighs and it made the hairs on your skin stand. 

You had to admit, you've never felt this way with your ex before. From the kiss to the touches, it was different. 

Guys your age don't know how to touch you.

The night eventually ended late but still, he went out of his way to drop you home, watching you get in safely before driving off. In a daze, you thought that was it, your potential lover was gone, but then you felt an uncomfortable prickly feeling in your chest area.

Reaching into your bra, you pulled out a piece of paper. One that had been slipped in discreetly moments ago when you were completely unaware.

Text/call me ;)

xx-xxxxxxx 

— Jake Sim

That was exactly what you did the next day. Even if it took you half a day and lots of pacing across your room, you managed to work up the guts to text him. Biting your nails in anxiety until his reply appeared. 

Luckily, he was a nice guy who was equally humourous over text. 

It wasn't long before you started calling each other. From one phone call turned into frequent calls that eventually included facetimes. 

Soon, this thing going on between you two progressed rather quickly but steadily. Him asking you out on a date was inevitable and you gladly let him take you out on one. 

It might've been a simple dinner that allowed you and him to get to know one another more, but throughout the whole night, he was nothing but a gentleman. First, it was him opening the car door for you that shocked you. No one has done this for you, your ex doesn't even have his own car to begin with. Then, it was him letting you hold his arm when going up staircases since you were in heels. Lastly, he even paid for dinner when you were against it, yet he didn't want to listen to your arguments.

This treatment was a little foreign to you, because simply, guys your age don't know how to treat you.

Days turned into months and you two naturally got closer, too close. Jake eventually asked you to be his girlfriend, to which you accepted and he even brought you out to celebrate, making sure to attack you with kisses while he was at it.

Despite being busy with work, he always made time for you. Tight schedules? He'd loosen some time up in between for you. Overtime in the office and not getting dinner together? He'd call you just to eat together over the screen. If there was one thing about Jake, it would be him getting clingy and missing you loads.

Him always going out of his way for you made you surprised even though you had been together for almost a year. It was his consideration and effort that got you soft for him. 

He wasn't like your ex. Not at all. He was completely unlike the people from your past. In a good way of course.

It was a shame. Guys your age don't know how to keep you or love you good.

The time has come where you wanted Jake to meet your parents, especially since you've already met his.

It was unfortunate that his schedule kept clashing and your mother has been on your wits end trying to get a glimpse of the guy you've been telling her about. But it was what it was and you could only tell her to be patient.

You were at home that day instead of staying over at his place, however, you were still texting Jake as per usual.

jakey: i'm omw to meet up w a business partner! i'm not sure when i'll be a back but don't stay up too late waiting, okay?

you: alrightt :( i'm over at my parents now. remember to eat and don't skip meals!!!!

jakey: yes yes ma'am. i'll let you know once the meeting is over, kay?

you: sure, drive safe!

You couldn't help but miss him at times, allowing him to fill your thoughts as you helped your mother set the table, not noticing an extra set of utensils placed. 

The usual business around the house around dinner hasn't changed over time. Even when the doorbell had rang, you didn't notice it at first, until it came the second, catching you off guard. You placed down the things in your hands, shuffling awkwardly to the door after calling out for your parents before opening it. 

"Jake?"

"Baby?"

What was Jake doing at the doorstep of your home? You promised to bring him over but wasn't he … busy?

"What do you mean 'baby'?" There came your father's voice, confusion laced in his tone.

"Mr L/N," Jake greeted stiffly, then the realisation dawned in his eyes. The last names, the similar features. Oh God.

"What are you doing here?" You ignored your surroundings, hissing in panic to Jake.

"F–for my business meeting," 

"Is he the guy you're dating?" Your father seemed to have also pieced it together, shock and bewilderment on his face as your mother joined his side.

"You're dating an older guy?"

There's going to be a whole explanation needed over dinner before any business is discussed.

Maybe Jake might've been an older guy but he was way more than that. He knew how to treat you, touch you, love you. Unlike guys your age.

Now you know, you're never going back.

( © jaylver all rights reserved. do NOT copy, plagiarise or edit my work and repost whatsoever. once discovered will be exposed and blacklisted. )

☆ permanent taglist (open):

@silentkarnival @strvlveera @freshsaladbowl @bejewelledgirl @fakeuwus @yenqa @hsgwrld

[omgsecretsecret]

Wdym you were drunk

Pairing : Yang Jeongin x gn!reader ; friends to lovers

Genre : idk fluff and slightly suggestive in a way ig? a bit of angst if you squint realll hard

Word count : about 950

Warning : mention of sex while being drunk, do not read if you are sensitive to this subject ; slight sexual themes (talking about sex a little bit but no smut on this one)

Author's note : the pics on top are not mine, credits to the owners ; many bisous to @giddyfatherchris for helping me proofreading this <3

Prompts : from the list made by @quokkareactions

58. "I remember kissing you... WHY DO I REMEMBER KISSING YOU?"

49. "How drunk were you last night?" "Well, I still have my pants on, so not that drunk." "Those aren't your pants."

53. "Well, fuck me." "Already did."

Reminder : do NOT take advantage of someone who isn't sober (it is not what Jeongin does here but it's always good to say it)

◍｡⁠•⁠ ⁠ᵕ⁠ ⁠•⁠｡◍

You wake up slowly, the light of the sun falling on your face dazzling you when you open your eyes. You quickly squint them as a sudden headache hits you. You hold your face and whine at the pain. Ugh. You shouldn't have drank so much last night.

You look around to see the walls of a room that isn't yours but you don't even have time to panic as you immediately recognize the dorm of your best friend and crush, Jeongin. You stay like that, cursing under your breath for not being more mindful yesterday for a few minutes before hearing a small noise coming from outside the room. You are not scared, but you finally start wondering where Jeongin is since he isn't in there and it's like he heard your thoughts as he comes in.

"Oh ! Hello sleepyhead. I heard you mumbling. You need painkillers ?" he smiles softly as he hands you the pills and a glass of water.

You simply nod and try to give him a thankful smile although you are still wincing in discomfort. He sits next to you on the bed as you swallow, putting the drink on the nightstand once you are done. He waits a little moment, giving you time for the medicine to kick in before speaking up.

"So.. what do you think of last night ? he looks at you and you notice his ears turning red while his eyes are somewhat.. hopeful ?

— Last night ? Honestly I don't think I remember much. you chuckle, a bit embarrassed, and his face falls slightly.

— Really ? Nothing ? he asks and you sense a slight tinge of disappointment in his voice but you can't get why.

— Aah yes maybe. I... I think I remember kissing you... WAIT WHY DO I REMEMBER KISSING YOU ? you look at him with wide eyes, waiting for him to explain.

— You don't... You really don't know ? he sounds sad and you can't even understand why. How drunk were you last night ? he asks a bit cautiously.

— Well I still have my pants on so not that drunk. you joke as you look at Jeongin clueless, confused and feeling somewhat bad. He just looks like a kicked puppy right now.

— Those aren't your pants, y/nie.

— WHAT ? you look at him in shock again. What the hell happened last night ?

— They're mine. he doesn't even dare to look at you, his voice low.

— What ? I think you're going to have to explain this one, Jeongin.

— I... he sighs. Yeah, you're right. he looks away before speaking. So.. last night, you... You kissed me. You looked a tad bit tipsy, but really not that much ! You started kissing me.. like.. a lot. And you told me about how you loved me... As more than a friend. I was so shocked, but I told you I liked you too and... We went in the room. I'm sorry. You kept telling me you loved me and you wanted this and I believed you. he is playing with his fingers nervously as he talks, eyes fixated on the floor.

— Wow... you let out, processing the informations. I never thought I'd... Oh gosh.. you shake your head. And I told you that like that ? Well, fuck me.

— Already did.. he mumbles and you snap your eyes back at him.

— Seriously ?

— No.. look I'm sorry I'm just nervous so I joked to try to relax. I'm scared you didn't mean it or you hate me now. he can hear his own heart pounding in his ears yet he can't get himself to look at you.

— What ? No, Innie ! It's not that. I trust you, everything is good. I just never thought I'd tell you I like you this way. you feel your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. Last night I thought drinking would be a good idea so I could maybe get the courage to confess to you. But it seems I drank a bit too much. you chuckle and you hear him sigh in relief.

— So you don't hate me ? And you really have a crush on me ? Because I really do love you. he blushes and gosh is he cute.

— Of course, Innie. Don't worry okay ? I just wish I could remember how last night was. Our first night together out of many... I hope ? you ask shyly.

— Out of so so many. he nods and gives you a soft smile before moving to settle besides you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. But first, I'd like to spend a nice and chill morning with my partner.

You smile and whisper a sweet "i'd love that" before resting your head on his shoulder, heart light and full of happiness.

◍｡⁠•⁠ ⁠ᵕ⁠ ⁠•⁠｡◍

do not repost, translate or rewrite without my written authorisation

[gracies-baby]

hey!

i wanted to request gracie abram x fem!r

where they’re dating and go to like an after party of aoxnecrt and pics of them making out get leaked

thankss

Leaked Picture

(Gracie Abrams x Reader)

——————————————————————————

Y/n's talking to her friends at the Grammys after party before she feels someone's arms wrap around her from behind.

"Hey babe, you okay?" Y/n asks her girlfriend as she runs her thumb over her hand.

"Yeah, I just saw a bird eat a chip" Gracie giggles before Y/n smells alcohol on her breath.

"How much have you had to drink? It's only been half an hour" Y/n giggles as she turns around, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend's neck.

"I dunno. Let's go somewhere more private" Gracie smirks before the two girls hear their friends fake gag before walking away.

"Guess we don't have to" Gracie pulls the shorter girl closer before connecting their lips in a passionate kiss. Y/n moans as her arms tighten around the brunette's neck, standing on her tiptoes to deepen the kiss. Gracie pushes her girlfriend against the wall before gliding her tongue across Y/n's lips. They're pulled away when someone yells at them.

"Get a room!" Taylor teases with a smirk.

"As if we haven't seen worse from you and Travis!" Gracie yells back as she takes Y/n's hand, pulling her to her car.

"You're so fucking hot" Gracie mumbles when she pushes her lips against her girlfriends when the two of them get into the back seat while Gracie's driver drives to her house. 

--

Gracie wakes the next morning to the sound of her phone ringing. She slowly sits up in her bed, careful not to wake the sleeping girl on her chest before answering the call.

"Hello?"

"What is wrong with you?! Do you know how much work this is gonna take to fix?" The brunette's manager yells over the phone.

"What did I do? I literally just woke up"

"Go on twitter. Some pictures of you and Y/n got leaked. The fans are having a field day" Gracie groans before she hears Y/n groan beside her, waking up from her sleep.

"It can't be that bad, right? I mean, our relationship isn't a secret. Everyone already knows we're together" Gracie tells her manager as she puts her hand on her girlfriend's head, gently scratching it.

"That's not the point. You can't just go around making out wherever you want. Now you're going to be asked about this during interviews and these pictures are going to be everywhere. Your fans are already freaking out over it. You basically just fed them a full course meal"

"Okay, well, Y/n just woke up and we have plans so any chance you can do this without me?" Her manager sighs before hanging up, leaving the two girls to wake up properly.

"What was that about?" Y/n asks as she wraps her arm around Gracie's stomach, putting her head on her chest.

"Some pictures from last night got leaked. Of us making out a little bit" Gracie replies as she closes her eyes, trying to go back to sleep.

"What?! Gracie that's so embarrassing! It's probably all over the internet right now! I'm never going out in public with you again" Y/n whines, hiding her face in her hands.

"Babe, it's fine. Everyone knows what we do, there's no reason to be embarrassed" Gracie sits up again to wrap her arms around Y/n's shoulders pulling her into her side.

"Yeah, they know what we do, but they don't have to see it! And we left the party like 3 hours early, they definitely know why"

"They don't care, I promise. I hate to do this right now, but we have to go meet my family for breakfast" Y/n's face lights up at her girlfriend's words.

"I forgot about that! C'mon, let's go right now" Y/n quickly gets out of bed before getting ready and waiting by the door for the brunette.

"Gracie, hurry up! We're gonna be late!" Y/n groans before her girlfriend comes down the stairs, grabbing her keys from the hook by the door.

"We're not gonna be late. It's my parents' house, we can't be late for that"

"It's still rude to keep them waiting. Hurry up, I wanna see your mom" Y/n says as she gets in the passenger seat of Gracie's car.

"Yeah, I'm going as quick as I can" Gracie replies as she drives to her parents' house, one hand on Y/n's thigh. The two of them talk for a bit before Gracie pulls into her parent's driveway, opening the passenger side door for her girlfriend.

"Hi guys!" Y/n exclaims as she waves to the Abrams family after entering the house, being followed by the brunette.

"Oh! You actually made it! I thought you guys would've been too busy sucking face" Henry teases with a smirk, watching as the two girls faces turn red before Gracie glares at her brother.

"It's weird that you're looking at pictures of your sister kissing her girlfriend, you know" Gracie replies with a glare.

"Well maybe if you weren't making out in public then I wouldn't have to. Trust me, I don't want to be looking at it either.

"Guys, stop bullying each other. Henry, go set the table while the girls help me plate up breakfast" Katie cuts in, separating her children before August comes in.

"So, are you guys gonna stay for the whole thing or are you gonna leave a few hours early like last night?" August smirks while the two girls groan.

[luxxtuxx]

The Punk Prince And His Pink Princess P4

(YOU HAVE NO CLUE HOW LONG IT TOOK TO MAKE THESE PICS FIT!!) PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 CW: Hobie apologizing for his actions and being a simp, A man wearing pink, Enjoy, this might be the last part of this Anyways I refuse to word-count this

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He knew he need to find Y/N, but he panicked and stressed and ate one of the cookies she gave him. (HOLY FUCK! I MIGHT BE PUNK BUT THESE COOKIES HAVE MORE HEAT THAN ANY OTHER FOOD I HAVE EATEN!!) While he trusts Gwen, he felt like he should check her dimension. Hobie opened a portal. "Please, don't hate me" he steps through, stepping into the room. "Y/N..." he steps forward cautiously, scared of angering her. "I know I'm the last person you want to talk to but...." he took a deep breath (be honest Hobie, lying only helps when talking to cops) "I didn't know that was your Dexcom, and I was trying to be light-hearted when saying it was a GPS tracker and calling you fucking dumb" He went to try and sit on the edge of the bed, missing the mattress, his ass hitting the floor. He stood up quickly, his pride a bit hurt, but the snicker she had let out when he fell made it worth it. Suddenly she spoke, "Im ashamed of my Dexcom, its so bulky, it gets in the way of things, and the people who don't understand make fun of it or look at me with pity thinking it's something bad." she spoke above a whisper. hobies heart cracked a bit "You.... Feel like I embarrassed you?" he asked trying to understand why she was so upset. She nods looking away. Hobie stood tall and said demandingly "Then, embarrass me. Dress me up head to toe in pink, if that helps at all. I know it's not the same, but I really hate pink but ill do it if that's what will help patch this over with us" Y/n stood from her bed and went towards her closet. he got nervous when there was no response "What do you say?" he tried not to let his voice waiver. Y/n let out a dark and scary giggle "I say, you picked the wrong payback method, and now it's time to dress you up like Barbie" Hobie paused "I fucked up didn't I?" he said softly. Y/n put on a record she called bimboCore. She painted his nails, and picked out the outfit, giggling with glee. It was a pastel watercolor crop top that barely covered his nipples, some pink shorts, pink cat thighs highs, some pink makeup, a white collar with a white and pink bell, then to finish it off some Kandi bracelets. God he fucking hated this, He hated it more when Y/N took a picture with her Polaroid camera. the next few hours at HQ were rough, it even got stone cold Miguel laugh a bit. By hour 4 he was kinda into it, he even took a video yelling "FUCK THE GOVERNMENT AND FUCK GENDER ROLES" The next day, hobies plan was to kiss Y/N out of retaliation, but when he saw what she wore. He nearly dropped to his knees and started to pray to whatever god was out there thanking them. Y/N had put on a long straight-haired black wig; her clothes were a red and black plaid crop top and matching skirt, there was a black choker, fishnet tights, black platforms, and a black chain purse. To add to it, a red lollipop in her lips. (Holy Fucking Shit, She was already cute but now she is hot! That's not fair you can't be both!!) He walked over and without saying a thing he pulled her into a rough kiss by her collar, she didn't pull away at all she just accepted it leaning into him. "and just for the record" he hummed "I didn't fall for you, you fucking tripped me into your trap"

INSPO FOR THEIR CLOTHES (not exact, but where i got the ideas):

BONUS: HOBIE HELPS REPLACE DEXCOM *a week later* "So i need to go slow right? i mean its literally stabbing you and putting a machine on your arm" hobie said. Y/n laughs "NO The faster the better!" He sighs and quickly did the injection on her arm. "okay, now clip this in the plastic, this is the robot part" he takes the part from her scared and was quick to clip it in place. "now we add a cover, Also gwen ordered this weeks sticker as a tribute to last week babe" Y/N showed him a dexcom sticker that said 'GPS' on it. Hobie huffed "Thanks gwen" he muttered

[nep2unes]

𝐅𝐓. 𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐄 (𝐑𝐈𝐏)

✭ channeled signs 4 all piles: green, blue, robust?, fast and the furious, the notebook, hbo max, tomdaya, 333, 555, 69, olivia, angel dust? (oooo im telling y’all’s mama), gta 5, working out, lifting weights, marathon, gq couples quiz, say my name - destiny’s child, yoga with adrienne, period cramps, love is blind on netflix, disney channel, soldier, “reporting for duty”?, ambient music, emergency intercom, true crime, makeup brushes, messy room, gatorade, throat chakra, sacral chakra, antennas, satin, burgundy, levi jeans, missed school assignments, car meets, nostalgia, city lights, drake views album, foreign exchange student, new york accent, junk food (specifically burgers and hot dogs), concerts

✭ you ready? take a deep breath and don’t overthink it. go ahead a choose the picture you’re most drawn to. the first pic your eyes laid on is usually your answer. it’s ok to be drawn to more than one pile too! enjoy! x

PILES 1-3 FROM TOP TO BOTTOM

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄:

ok but this pile is giving head bitch in charge and royalty energy. that nicki lyric is playing in my head: “when i walk in sit up straight, i don’t give a fuck if i was late.” i don’t think you understand the power that you hold but it’s there and very much present. you guys have the power to turn negatives into positives. you’re able to see the good in bad things and are just so optimistic in life despite the amount of suffering you’ve gone through. i think your trials and tribulations have made you this way and it’s appreciated by a lot of people. i’m getting MAJOR fire sign energy (take what resonates) you’re the type of mfer to be like “gosh i hate people” but do so well in social settings. you’re just naturally charismatic. you’re a delegator, the true essence of a leader. it’s so funny cause it feels like you’re an introvert but spirit is like nah you an extrovert and you know it. you love connecting with others and hearing their stories (strangers probably just be spilling their life too LMAO) embrace that part of you more! cause people genuinely want to hear what you have to say. you have acquired so much knowledge from the past that you use this to combat any situation that comes your way. you are a fucking winner babe! you for sure are destined for greatness like that shit is written in your fate. you’re going to do great things in the public eye and you have a lot to offer the world in terms of wisdom and making others see life in a different light. your energy is expansive and so solid. you may be empathic, psychic, or just highly intuitive. it feels like you know what you want and you’ll stop at nothing to get it. like you a star baby and im damn near bout to bow down cause shiiitttt. people may stare at you a lot and you hate that but this is why. so don’t try hiding from your light anymore because you’re only blocking your blessings. regardless whether you try to hide it or not, you gonna still shine so might as well shine full force and show people what the fuck you’re made of.

𝐀𝐔𝐑𝐀 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐒: yellow, orange, specks of teal (greenish-blue) 

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐓𝐇𝐒: alchemy, courage, drive, determination, ability to see beyond the surface, highly intelligent, self-aware, communication, intuitive, precise

𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐃:  TR666 - trippie redd ft. swae lee 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐖𝐎:

loverrrrr energy and major duality! you’re such a sweet individual. you just LOVE love. you are the type of person people are attracted to as well because you do not pass judgment. you provide them with a sense of comfort and security with just your energy and words alone.  you show people that home isn’t always a place but it can be energy too! your energy is the epitome of ‘home’. you always seem to know EXACTLY what to say (even if you don’t take your own advice LOL). there’s a sense of hidden knowledge and wisdom in you and i think this is because you’re an old soul. you may even surprise yourself with what you know too like where tf did that come from? but you’re also playful and a kid at heart. you definitely be cracking people the fuck up and sometimes unintentionally as well. you also know when it’s time be serious and to have a couple laughs so the duality is there and so appreciated from others. you light up the room with your smile and laugh. you’re giving “it girl” (no matter how you identify as, everyone got an it girl in them babe). i feel like you know a lot of people and a lot of people know you and if not people know OF you. relationships and connections are significant to you as well, you are fiercely loyal to those you deem worthy. there’s so much depth to you too. you hate labels and aren’t the type to stick to a certain aesthetic. you like what you like and that’s all. your music playlist definitely ranges from heavy rap to some crazy shit like norwegian edm. you give me humanitarian vibes as well. you probably love to help others, hate injustice, and are fair to all. very generous, caring, and nurturing. remember to not overextend yourself though! sometimes you may find yourself getting taken advantage of so set some boundaries if necessary. don’t be afraid of the conflict and don’t be afraid to stir the pot. very warm and loving soul tho! keep on being like that, the world needs it! 

𝐀𝐔𝐑𝐀 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐒: light pink, purple-ish, a bit of green 

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐓𝐇𝐒: easygoing, kind, openminded, nurturing, outgoing, lovable, sharp-witted, too funny for your own good, empathetic, naturally magnetic 

𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐃: some - steve lacy

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄:

this pile consists of my old olddddd souls huh? i feel like you consider yourself an outcast and wallflower. you be minding your business and not about all that drama shit. you may resonate a lot with the movie perks of being a wallflower too lol. let me just say, you’re intuitive as fuckkkkk. you be knowing shit fr. you’re a daydreamer as well like heavyyy. you love to make little fantasies in your head of your dream life but what you don’t realize is that life is already in front of you. you are everything baby! you are a master manifestor. i’m talking about so good you can manifest shit in a day and im even hearing hours. you may be into spirituality and the occult (im hearing get tarot cards, if you haven’t already. your guides may want to connect with you this way!) you love all that taboo shit because you know that everything has a deeper meaning to it. you’re very philosophical and LOVEEE deep conversations. you probs are super into conspiracy theories as well. you love to learn honestly! just so curious and your mind is a fucking sponge man. one thing about you is you’re gonna find out about anything that life has to offer. you are also a homebody as well, like you’ll go out but you got a social battery for sure. i think it’s also because you have the tendency to take on a lot of energy from others so you find you’re most at peace with yourself. you are most definitely an empath. you have that grungy 2014 tumblr girl type vibe LMAO. like you’re definitely different than most people in your age group. you may even be friends with a lot of older people too or you just have better conversations with older people. your interests often don’t align with people your age and you have a hard time finding a certain “clique.” you know this and i do see you being almost off-put by it. like you sometimes wish you were “normal.” but babe normal doesn’t exist! embrace this part of you because you are such a beautiful soul. you ‘re free-spirited, intense, and so in tune with the universe. this is what draws people in. you can talk about anything for hours simply because you have a variety of interests. your perception of things is totally different to how others perceive things so due to this, they have a lot to learn from you. being the truest form of yourself is what heals not only yourself but others as well so don’t change for anyone!

𝐀𝐔𝐑𝐀 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐒: blue, mixed specks of magenta and purple

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐓𝐇𝐒: abundance-magnet, honesty, master-manifestor, goodnatured, artistically gifted, highly intuitive, empathic, eccentric approach to life, ability to analyze ANYTHING meticulously 

𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐃: kids - current joys

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[quirklessthot]

kinktober: day 3 | nudes [dabi]

warnings: 18+

word count: 1.1k

a/n still going strong with day three! (p.s. you canNOT tell me dabi wouldn't pull this shit)

⤿ kinktober masterlist

You’re sleeping peacefully in your bed, dead to the world, until the loud ping of your phone receiving a message wakes you. Groggily, you crack open your eyes and feel around blindly for your phone. You bring it to your face and turn on the display, instantly regretting having the backlight on so high. After nearly getting blinded, you can make out the words on the screen.

[unknown]: u up?

The contact might be listed as ‘unknown’, but you know exactly who would wake you up with a text like this at 2 am. Your phone pings again.

[unknown]: its dabi

You know.

Heaving a tired sigh, you roll your eyes but answer anyway, thumb lazily tapping on your onscreen keyboard as you yawn and hug your pillow.

[You]: I am now. What do you want?

His reply is almost immediate.

[unknown]: my dick is so hard right now

Seriously? Could he be more of a fuckboy right now?

Apparently, he could, because his next message is a shaky picture of his hand wrapped around his hard dick. It’s a terrible quality photo if you’re being honest: the lightning is bad, there’s no finesse and most importantly, you didn’t ask for it. A 3/10, overall.

[You]: That’s rough, buddy. Goodnight.

The next few pings come in quick succession. Great, he’s double-texting.

[unknown]: babe

[unknown]: c’mon

[unknown]: dont b like that…

[unknown]: pls?

Your eyebrows raise almost to your hairline. You didn’t Dabi even knew the word ‘please’ existed. He must be really desperate.

[You]: Well I’m not sure what you want me to do about it? I don’t even know where you are…

The next message almost has you throwing your phone.

[unknown]: send me a pic of ur tits

“You’ve got to be shitting me…” you mumble into the quiet darkness of your room.

[You]: I’m not giving you nudes Dabi.

[unknown]: i gave u sum!

[You]: I didn’t ask for a picture of your dick!!

[unknown]: :(

Such a simple emoji shouldn’t fill you with so much remorse but a part of you knows how hard you find it telling Dabi ‘no’.

One picture and that’s all he’s getting.

You hike your shirt up to tuck it under your chin, nipples instantly pebbling under the cool night air. You angle your phone and snap a picture, making sure to keep your face firmly out of the frame. It’s a little dark – you’re too tired to get up and turn any lights on – and it’s not exactly the sexiest pic you’ve ever taken but he’ll have to make do.

Your thumb hovers over the send button before you take the leap and press it, wondering in the back of your mind just how much you’re going to regret this.

It takes a while for him to respond and you hate how antsy it’s making you. You’re on the metaphorical edge of your metaphorical seat as you wait. Does he like it? He’s the one begging for nudes at two in the morning, he’d better like it!

[unknown]: fuuuuuk babe

[unknown]: wish i was thr

[unknown]: hav u suck m e off

[unknown]: cover thse perfct fukin tits in my c um

That’s more typos than usual, and it’s probably not because of his usual laziness. You greatly suspect he’s multitasking.

The thought of Dabi pleasuring himself to a picture of you has warmth spreading through your body. You squeeze your thighs together as you type.

[You]: Yeah? What makes you think I’ll let you

[unknown]: u’ll let me

[unknown]: cuz ur my prefect lil cumslut

[unknown]: isnt that right ?

You mutter a curse under your breath as your hand finds its way between your thighs. Images of you gagging on Dabi’s cock flash in your mind, the most recent rendezvous – from about a week ago. You can almost feel the heavy weight of his girthy cock on your tongue. You subconsciously lick your lips as your hand speeds up.

Another message.

[unknown]: busy?

You can almost feel the smugness radiating from that single word. Groaning, you ignore his taunt and put your phone down to continue rubbing yourself over your underwear, making sure to put most of your focus on your little clit.

Your phone pings again.

[unknown]: i kno ur touchin urself

[unknown]: u wet for me baby?

You whine and nod your head before remembering that he can’t actually see you.

[You]: Yeah, I think I soaked through my panties

[unknown]: hm not sure i believe u

The horny haze you’ve unexpectedly found yourself in has you thinking you need to send him proof and you reach over to flick on your bedside lamp, bathing the dark room in warm, artificial yellow light. Settling back down, you quickly snap another photo and send it to Dabi.

This one is focused between your spread thighs, underwear pulled taught over your mound and leaving little to the imagination. The sizeable dark patch is hard to miss.

[unknown]: fuck i wish i could call u right now so i can hear those cute little noises you make when u play with urself

[unknown]: guess I’ll have to make do with pics huh?

Taking the hint, you quickly roll down your underwear, discarding it somewhere onto the floor, and take a picture of your cunt, lips slick and shiny with your arousal.

As you wait for Dabi’s reply, your hand slowly slides between your thighs. A shiver runs through your body at the feeling of your slippery, heated skin under your fingertips. Focusing tight, slow circles over your clit, you begin rocking your hips, already lost in pleasure. Too impatient for anymore teasing, you slip two fingers inside, arching your back and gasping at the delicious stretch.

You alternate between fucking yourself on your fingers hard and fast and feverishly rubbing your clit, sometimes giving your pussy a firm, teasing spank – just the way Dabi likes to do when he’s knuckles deep in you. You’re so wet you’re beginning to make a mess but at this moment – right on the precipice of pure bliss, you don’t care.

It only takes a few strokes and you’re falling over the edge, entire body spasming as you cry out. When you fall back onto your pillow, you let out a deep, pleasured exhale, fully satiated.

The last photo you send is of two of your fingers inches away from your bare cunt, glossy with your slick - a few strands are connected from your soaked digits to your puffy, swollen lips. Seconds later you get one of Dabi, shirt pulled up and spent cock lying on his stomach, white traces of his cum all over his stomach and chest.

Still on cloud nine from your orgasm, you get up to clean yourself up. When you lie back down in your bed, you pick up your phone to shoot Dabi a quick text.

[You]: Ok, I have to admit that was fun but you’re going to delete those, right?

Read 2:27 am

[You]: Dabi?

Read 2:28 am

[You]: Dabi. That’s not funny…

Read 2:28 am

[You]: DABI!

[elvendara]

Sugar and Spice Day 3

July 14th

Rock concert (Rockstar/Fan)

“Five minutes till curtains up!” the man ran backstage shouting over the din. Saeran expected a knock on his door shortly and sure enough, it came. Without waiting for an answer, the man opened the door to let him know the time limit. Saeran locked eyes with him through the mirror and nodded.

Once the door was again closed, he stared at himself. He’d long ago bleached his hair white to differentiate himself from his twin. Saeyoung worked in the shadows, it wouldn’t do to have a famous brother who looked exactly like him. He also utilized colored lenses. It served two purposes, he didn’t need to wear glasses, in fact, his fans didn’t even know he needed them, and the mint green was a stark contrast to his regular, amber-colored eyes. The pink tips were a more recent addition, but he liked them.

Black eyeliner was expertly applied, years of practice making it almost effortless. He took a sponge and smudged it, giving himself that perfect edgy look. The earrings were already in, silver crosses dangling on each side of his face. Ironic really, considering he didn’t believe in God. The thick black silver studded collar was snuggly around his neck as was the matching cuff around his right wrist. He stood and grabbed his leather jacket, sliding it on and glancing into the full-length mirror he had been given in his dressing room. He was comfortable in this persona. The music had been a way for him to deal with his life. Writing down his anger, confusion, and loneliness was a way to get it out of him. It became bigger than him pretty quickly and he found that hiding behind rock stardom meant he didn’t have to answer any real questions about his true self. It worked. Except it kept him lonely and alone. He’d come to terms with spending the rest of his life that way. It was easier than imagining being real with someone. Who could ever love the real him anyway?

He smirked at his reflection as he laced up his biker boots. Time to bring the house down!

..

He was soaked in sweat but didn’t feel tired. In fact, he felt invigorated, like every time he finished a concert. Feeding off the audience was one of the biggest perks to his career. Someone handed him a towel and he wiped his face with it.

“Great show Saeran!” one of the concert coordinators told him. She held a tablet to her chest and had a handful of fans behind her. Five doe eyed girls and one shy looking boy. Well, now that he looked closer, he was definitely a man, close to his own age. He looked sheepish being with the teenaged groupies. “These are the VIP’s for tonight’s afterparty. Thought I’d introduce you before you change.”

“Nice! Great to meet you, I’m glad we’ll be hanging out tonight. Hope you have a good time. Congrats on winning the backstage passes.” He regurgitated. There wasn’t always an afterparty but there were some special guests, rich, who had paid for the whole thing, so he’d been pressed to oblige them with an appearance. He hated the politics of being famous, but he did love his fans. It was because of them that he could enjoy what he did. If it was up to him, he’d fill the party with fans and not rich entitled groupies. He knew he would spend the night fending off offers to ‘get to know each other better’ all night.

“Oh my GOD! It’s really you!”

“Wow! You’re so HOT!”

“Ahhh, my friends are never gonna believe this!”

The girls were just cookie cutter versions of every other girl he’d seen. He couldn’t blame them; it’s how they sold his image. The man looked embarrassed; he wouldn’t even look him in the eye. He took the chance to check him out. He appeared to be a tad shorter than himself, with blond hair and pink clips holding back his bangs. He wore one of his concert shirts and tight-fitting skinny jeans. His nails were painted alternating pink and black with the black ones having his band’s logo on it, a mint green eye. So he really was a fan. Cute too.

“Uh, well, like the lady said, I have to go get changed for the party, I’ll see you all there. And be sure to grab your swag bags before you leave, don’t let them rip you off there! There’s a CD with a snippet of some of our new songs.” He winked and walked off. There was a lot of oohing and ahhing as he left.

He took a quick shower and dressed in a ripped black T-shirt, black jeans and his biker boots, putting all his accessories back on and reapplying his eyeliner. Taking a deep breath, he turned and walked out to the convention center next to the arena. Of course he wasn’t alone, he had security that surrounded him and paparazzi snapping pics as he made his way to the party. They screamed questions at him that he didn’t answer, he smirked, the signature look the media had come to know him by. Surrounded by so many yet feeling so alone. Making it next door took longer than it should have because of the circus around him, but make it he did.

Once he was inside he was taken by the arm by the coordinator who had introduced him to the fans, he couldn’t remember her name but she seemed nice enough. At least she didn’t flirt with him like other women did and took her job seriously.

“You’re here, great, first you should go say hi to the Han family, they’re the ones footing the bill for this afterparty, then you can have a few minutes with the fans before talking to some reporters…”

“Whoah.” He stopped in his tracks and could swear she left skid marks with her heels she’d been going so fast. “I want more than just a few minutes with those fans, and who are all these people anyway?” He saw his bandmates and some of the roadies, but everyone else was a stranger.

“Nobody you need to worry about, uh, I’ll see what I can do with the schedule.” She seemed frazzled but clicked away on her tablet while heading off again. He assumed he should follow, so he did.

“Mr. Han, I appreciate you taking the time and effort for this function.” Saeran greeted the elderly man.

“Ah, of course of course, anything for my new bride!” he had his arm around a young woman who was clearly less than half his age. The rumors about C&R’s head were obviously true. Standing on his other side was a tall and elegant man who appeared to wish he was anywhere but here. He’d seen that face plastered on magazines of all sorts. The heir apparent, Director of C&R, Jumin Han. They nodded respectfully at each other, Saeran feeling sorry for the man and having to deal with his father’s escapades, but the old man seemed like a descent sort. After a few minutes of his ‘wife’ fawning all over him, making him feel uncomfortable, the coordinator pulled him away. He was thankful to her for saving him.

She escorted him towards a section in the back, past all the dancing and the loud music, that was closed off. The music was still loud but at least he could hear himself think. In the section the fans sat, eating and drinking snacks on the coffee table. They all stood up and rushed him. Well, the girls did, touching him and giggling. Where were their parents? They didn’t look old enough to be out. They sat him down and pressed against him. The blond man sat to the side in a chair and continued to sip his cola and eat the snacks, sneaking a look now and then. He wished he could just be alone with him and have a conversation. At least he wouldn’t try to crawl on his lap like these girls seemed to want to do. Well, maybe he wouldn’t mind if the blond tried that.

After about 30 minutes, which felt like a lifetime, the coordinator gathered up the girls and took them out. It was past midnight and he guessed he had been right about their age, couldn’t have minors out at all hours of the night. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. It felt like they had leached some of his life force out and he was drained.

“I guess that happens all the time to you huh?”

Saeran sat up abruptly, how could he have forgotten about the blond?

“Sorry, I’ll go if you want to be alone.” He stood and Saeran panicked.

“NO!” he stood, banging his knee on the coffee table, sending him on his ass back on the sofa. He grabbed at the knee, eyes scrunched, “Ow ow ow…”

“Let me see.” Suddenly there was a presence by him as the blond sat beside him, his fingers touching his knee. Because of the ripped jeans, it was easy to see his skin in that area. “Doesn’t look so bad, at least you didn’t break the skin. You’ll have a hell of a bruise though.” The blond raised his gaze to Saeran and he finally got to see the full view. Wow, those eyes knocked him out, was that color even natural? Maybe he was wearing amethyst-colored lenses like what he himself wore. His face was kind, a soft pink flush growing across his cheeks and bridge of his nose. It was adorable.

“Ah, that was really stupid of me. But…I’m glad you didn’t leave. We didn’t even get a chance to chat.” Saeran tried to regain his coolness but found he couldn’t seem to be bothered to try and act in front of this man. “Uh, what’s your name?”

“Yoosung. Don’t have to ask yours I guess.” He smiled, lighting up the entire room.

“Yoosung…I like it.”

“Thanks. I…uh…like you. I mean…I…your music…I…I…like your music…and…uh…I”

Saeran laughed and waved off Yoosung’s explanation.

“So you’re a fan huh? And what…a doctor?” he asked, placing his foot on the ground gently, still rubbing his knee.

“Not quite. But I am going to medical school. And yes, a BIG fan!” his eyes got large, as did his smile. “Your songs spoke to me when I was at a really low point. I don’t know, it felt like you knew what I was going through and understood my pain.” The smile faltered as his thoughts went back to those days. Saeran reached out and placed his hand on Yoosung’s, yes, he knew what it was like to be in pain, he could see it in his eyes.

Their eyes met, an understanding passing between them.

[btsslowburnfic]

Series Summary: For Namjoon, the moment he set his sights on being the #1 rapper, he pushed the symbol to the side and hated it. Love should be chosen, not forced on you. He didn’t believe in fate and this mark on his wrist was a big “fuck you” to all that.

AN: a loooong update where we get YN to Korea Previous Chapter here

The three of you made it safe and sound to your new brownstone across the river in New Jersey. Joe has a job lined up, but at the moment you and Xavier are unemployed. On this particular day, you are in your room job hunting when you hear a knock on your bedroom door and then see Xavier gently push it open. “Fly your ass to Korea. Now. Here,” Xavier throws a book at you. “I bought you a Korean dictionary.”

You roll your eyes. “Namjoon speaks English. And I can’t read the characters or whatever so how will a dictionary help. And, I’m not going to Korea.”

Xavier crosses his arms in front of his body. “Girl. You are still in your twenties. You have no job. There is a hot man who is also your soulmate across the ocean. GO TO KOREA.” You pick your phone back up, ignoring him. You hear him let out a frustrated sigh and leave the room. You didn’t know what you wanted. You didn’t tell them that Namjoon had passed along his schedule to you and that he would be in Korea for 6 weeks starting in two weeks and that he had offered to buy you a plane ticket. You kept going back and forth. Fine. Fuck it.

YN: Hey! I’ve been thinking and I would like to come visit. As long as it’s not too much trouble and won’t interfere with your schedule

You let out a breath and put the phone down. One thing you have learned is that he keeps very strange hours and there is no way of knowing when he will be awake, when he will be performing, or even what country he is in. You are shocked when you receive a reply instantly.

NJ: It’s no problem. I will be working a lot of the time, but there is also some free time blocked out so make sure you’re ready to do some sightseeing as well on your own. I’ll rent a noona for you.

YN: I have no idea what that means but ok. Sounds exciting.

NJ: You can rent tour guides. An “older sister” to translate and show you around on some of the days.

YN: That would be amazing! Ok. Sounds great!!

NJ: I’ll book the flight and email you the information.

YN: Awesome ^_^ Thank you so much.

You try to keep your cool. You really do. But it doesn’t last long as you sit the phone down and walk out into the hallway. “Xavier!”

“What? Brat.” You hear him call from the living room.

“I’m going to Korea!” You say with a big smile on your face.

“Holy shit. You’re doing it!?! Really? When?” He sits up straight on the couch.

“I’m not sure. He’s booking the flight.”

“Oh my God. Oh my God. IT’S HAPPENING. Come. Sit here. Let’s watch some Kdramas. We need to prepare you.”

You roll your eyes but join him on the couch anyway.

--3 weeks later--

The flight isn’t too bad. When Namjoon booked your ticket you did secretly wonder if he would spring for an upgraded seat since you know...you guessed he was rich. You did not expect that he was going to pay for a first class seat though. The comfort of the seats and the fact that food was actually delicious helped to balance out the longest flight you had ever taken in your life. You managed to get some rest on the plane, but not very much since you were so excited and nervous. You had not seen each other for a while. And the last time you saw him you were both naked.

When you arrive you don’t have any bags to collect; you just brought your carry-on. You know you are going to do a lot of shopping while you are there and had decided you would just buy a suitcase there. You walk down to departures and scan the crowd looking for your name. This was so exciting. You had been the person in the crowd holding a name placard before, but you had never had it done for you. It helped that it was one of the few names written in English. You smile and walk over to a man in a suit.  After confirming each other’s identity, you follow him out to a black SUV with tinted windows. He takes your bag and you slide into the backseat. 

YN: Hey! I’m on my way to the hotel. When will I get to see you?

NJ: Yeah….about that. There is no way I would be able to just be going in and out of a hotel without anyone here noticing. This isn’t LA. We can’t really go out in public much here. The driver will be taking you to my apartment complex. Once you get here, you will let security know who you are. They will provide you with a key and directions.

You weren’t expecting this at all, but it made sense.

YN: Umm ok. Sounds like a plan. 

You hoped to God someone at the security office spoke English. Oh well. You typed some things into your translation app just in case and tried to enjoy the scenery. It was a city, but it seemed a lot cleaner than LA. Less sunny, and more modern. At least the parts you were driving through.

After a fifteen minute taxi ride that has brought you into a very fancy part of Seoul you try to keep your cool as your driver assures you that this is the location you are supposed to be at. It is fancy looking as fuck and has a giant ass gate around it. The driver pulls up and shows his credentials and then pulls up and rolls your window down.

The security officer stands there, looking at you. You pull out your passport and state your name. He looks over a sheet of paper and nods. Handing you an envelope that feels like it has a keyboard and some papers in it. You thank him in shitty Korean and the driver closes the window. You open the envelope.

“Hey. If you’re getting this, I wasn’t able to get off work in time to meet you. The driver knows which building to go to. Use this key to go to unit 4106. Text me when you get there. Sorry!

Namjoon”

The chauffeur drives between several of the buildings. The streets are lined with trees and there appeared to be several small gardens between the buildings. The car comes to a stop outside building 4. The driver gets out to open your door and hands you the bag. You thank him and head into the building.

The apartment building was a lot like a luxury hotel, you find yourself thinking. It was decorated similarly with gilded light fixtures and a marble floor. You scan your key card at the elevators and head up to the 10th floor. 

It becomes very obvious from the minute you walk in that this is Namjoon’s actual apartment. His giant shoes are all over the foyer.  You purse your lips and take out your phone.

YN: YOU DIDNT SAY IT WAS YOUR APARTMENT

NJ: Relax sweetheart, the guest bedroom is for you. I’m hardly ever there. Make yourself at home and I’ll see you later ;p

YN: THATS NOT THE POINT

NJ: You’re welcome. Stop being a brat and enjoy.

You pout a little bit. Fine. Fine. You’ve already slept with him so why does it matter if this is his apartment. Because it feels so much more intimate, you think. You enter into the space while texting Xavier.

YN: New chapter in the Kdrama series. 

You knew Xavier would normally be sleeping, but he was so excited and wanted to make sure you made it safely he was wide awake.

X: Oh no, what?

YN: he didn’t arrange for me to stay in a hotel IM AT HIS APARTMENT.

X: AHAHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT. Is it nice? Is there like a waterfall? Does it smell like rich people? Send pictures!

YN: I don’t think I should send pics since he’s famous, but there are no waterfalls that I can see. It smells normal. Actually no, it smells new, like people don’t really live here. Stay tuned for updates.

X: Has he dicked you yet?

YN: -_- he’s stuck at work. And I’ll be in the guest bedroom thankyouverymuch.

X: Yeah….ok…..suuuuuuure.

You put your phone back in your pocket and continue to wander around the apartment. It is the size of a house. There is a small terrace running  along the side of the unit and three open rooms that flow together. I guess rich people need more than one living room? You wonder. They are all furnished with couches and art. The floors are a beautiful Marble. Or Granite. Some expensive imported thing. You notice several plants on the wall as well as out on the terrace. Huh. I did not think he would be into plants, you find yourself thinking.

YN: Nice plants

NJ: My pride and joy

You smile and walk into the kitchen. It looks like a showroom. You doubt much cooking goes on here. If you could afford to eat out all the time you would too. You open the fridge and as predicted, it is mostly empty. There are a few bottles of water and some random condiments. Panic strikes you as you begin to wonder if there’s a coffee maker in this apartment. This could be a deal breaker; you might have to flee to the Marriott. There isn’t one sitting out. You frantically open cabinets. You make eye contact with a very fancy looking Espresso maker. Ok. You will learn how to use this beast. You sit it out on the counter and plug it in. Crisis averted for now. You continue through the rest of the house. You quickly find the master bedroom. Big bed. That’s all you take note of before closing the door. You don’t want to be nosy. You wander to the other end of the apartment and find an extra bedroom and an office. You don’t go to the office, but do take your stuff into the guest bedroom. You are feeling tired and starting to feel hungry.

YN: When will you be back? Is there a convenience store nearby? I need coffee and/or food.

NJ: Sorry. It will still be a while. Actually there are several stores on property. The closest one is in building 2. Here, download the app. I’ll send you the login info.

YN: Thanks.

You change out of your traveling clothes into real clothing and head to the market. The apartment complex’s layout is fairly easy to understand once you look at the app. You walk over to tower 2 and ride the elevator to the market level. It looks like the atrium of a cruise ship. There is a giant crystal chandelier hanging in the middle of the lobby area as well as beautiful indoor trees, glass art bulbs, probably a peacock or two wandering around, and some light music playing in the background. Oh God. I should just starve. This is too fancy. I need to leave.  

You turned to leave when you heard a voice speaking politely in Korean. You ignore it, and then hear the same voice ask in English,  “Excuse me, Miss. Can I help you?” A short man in his 50’s walked over. “I’m on the concierge staff here. You must be new.” 

“Ah yes. Thank you. Umm...Coffee please?”

“Of course. Take-away or beans?”

“Both please?” You ask, trying to keep it simple and very thankful for the English.

“Yes of course. If you just get me the unit number I can actually just have it sent there. Also there is an ordering and delivery app you can use next time if you would like to save yourself the walk.” The man explained while he typed some information into a tablet. 

“That’s very helpful. Thank you. For today, now please.” 

“Very well miss, please insert your chip or resident card here and sign,” he turned the tablet towards you. You inserted your debit card.  

“Thank you. Please wait.”

You take a seat in the fancy lobby area and get out your phone. You had some messages from Namjoon.

[NJ]: Oh, there is also an app you can download and order groceries to the apartment. 

[NJ]: I usually eat at work so I forget about it.

[NJ]: Sorry, you probably already hiked there.

A smirk crossed your face as you started to type a response.

[Y/N]: Sorry, I just saw these. And no worries. It’s a beautiful part of the complex. I was a little overwhelmed to be honest but the concierge was very helpful!  10/10 recommend.  

You take a picture of the lobby area and send it to him.

[NJ]: wow, yeah that’s beautiful. I haven’t actually been there myself.

The concierge returns, handing you a coffee and a bag of coffee beans.  You thank him profusely one more time.

“My pleasure. Take care.”

You sit the beans down and pose with your coffee cup, snapping a selfie to send to Namjoon.

[Y/N]: There, now all is right with the world ^_^

[NJ]: :) See you soon!

You travel back to the apartment and unpack your suitcase. You try your hardest to stay awake, but at this point you have been up for over 24 hours and you can feel the pull of sleep. You’ll just lay down for a nap. 

---------

It is dark outside by the time Namjoon gets off work. He feels bad he couldn’t meet you in the car at the airport, and even worse that he’s kept you waiting for hours. You haven’t answered any of his texts these past few hours either. He opens the door to his apartment. The lights are off. Did you leave? He wonders. He flips on the light and sees your shoes by the door which put a smile on his face. You must be sleeping. He hasn’t actually been in his apartment for about 2 months. It was mostly the same as he left it, except most of the time when he returned the apartment had a stale smell from having been left empty. This time it smelled like coffee and girl.

He enters the main living area and finds you laying in a small blanket nest on the couch with a laptop on the table; a coffee cup resting on a coaster next to it. He smiles and goes through to his bedroom to deposit his travel bag. He washes his face and changes clothes and then proceeds to nervously pace. Should he wake you up? You were probably tired, but at the same time, to prevent jet lag you shouldn’t sleep too much, and he wanted to hang out with you. He wrestles with this issue for a while and then decides he will try to wake you up.

He gently shakes your foot, “Hey sleepy. Wake up.” 

“Mmmmmmmmmmm…” you respond. What’s happening? You kick the thing bothering your foot. So annoying. You hear a deep voice laugh. Oh shit, where were you again? The shaking of your foot resumes and you crack open one of your eyes and see Namjoon sitting on the couch. “Heyyyy.”

“Hey there sweetheart. Nice seeing you in Korea.”

You feel your heart do a little flip flop at the way he’s talking to you but you want to play it cool. “Yeah. It’s good to be here.” You stretch out and move to sit up.

“How are your legs doing?” He asks.

“Good. They get stiff pretty easily and I still have to do my exercises everyday but they don’t hurt most of the time or anything. I get pretty bad headaches from time to time, but you already knew that. Sorry about that by the way.”

“It’s fine, I just carry aspirin around with me now.” He shrugs. “Did you get any food? Should I order something?”

“Yeah. Order some super Korean food.” You are fully awake now.

“Yeah? You serious? It’s not going to be like Koreatown food.” He teases

“Might as well jump in. If I don’t like it, there’s always rice, right?” You smile.

“That’s true,” he takes out his phone to order dinner.

“What did you do today?”

“Today was planning for the Festa. Even though it’s months away we have to make sure we have enough content planned just in case there are any unforeseen delays.”

“Cool.” You say. You had done your basic level ARMY research so you were somewhat familiar with their different activities.

“How was your flight? You should probably get up and stretch those legs around. Get up.” He pushes your shoulder playfully.

“Ughhh….fine. By the way. Nice apartment. Is rent like 20 grand a month?” You stand up groaning slightly like an old woman. Damn stiff legs.

“Uhh...I paid 6 million dollars for it up front so I don’t pay rent. Do you want anything to drink?”

It’s a good thing you weren’t drinking anything when he dropped that little factoid on you or you would have spit it out comic-book style. Jesus. That explained the security and Gucci grocery store. “Uh water please.” You walked over following him to the kitchen. “It’s good to see you by the way. Thanks for inviting me.” You slowly remember how to speak like a human again.

“Sure. I wish I had more free time to spend with you, but I’m glad you were able to make it.” He fills a glass with water for you. “Wait a minute! Before I forget,” he jogs out of the room and returns with a small box. “Here, this is for you. We were in Australia last month and I wanted to get something for you.”

You are surprised. It didn’t occur to you that he would think about you or buy you something. Until a few months ago you had considered yourself a nuisance. “Wow, thank you so much. You didn’t have to do that.” you say, taking the box, “I hope it’s a tiny KNOIFE or tiny koala or tiny kangaroo,” you open the box. It is an adorable mug with a Koala on it superimposed on the Australian Continent. It says in English, “Lucky Australian Koala.” You burst out laughing, cupping the mug with both your hands in front of your face. “This is perfection. Thank you so much for my authentic LUCKY AUSTRALIAN KOALA, I cannot wait to drink out of him tomorrow. Seriously. “ You sit the mug on the kitchen table. Fuck it. “Come here,” you gesture, and pull him in for a hug. His body feels solid against your and he gently wraps his arms around you. You give a firm squeeze. “Thank you for the mug and for flying me out here.”  You pull away and smile at him. 

He looks away almost shy, “It was nothing. I figure I still owe you a few for the pen incident.”

You take a drink of the water. “Yeah. You have had some dickish moments.” 

“Speaking of dickish behavior...do you want to talk about what happened with Ben or…?”

You shrug. “There’s not a lot to say. Ben apparently met his soulmate about 4 months before the car accident. He tried to stay away since we had already agreed that we didn't care about stuff like that. But he couldn't. I don't know when he started seeing Jessie behind my back. They were apparently banging all summer in the apartment and while I was in the hospital.” You take another gulp of water. Namjoon is surprised that he isn’t feeling much anger or sadness coming off of you. “After I got all my shit out of the apartment and had a chance to calm down, I couldn't be too mad about it you know? You and I had already slept together and most people aren't as stubborn as us. So really, how could they resist? I mean I was angry and sad at the time but at this point it seems like a lifetime ago. "

Namjoon had never asked about what had happened with Ben before, assuming that if you wanted to talk about it you would have brought it up. " Wow. "

"Yeah. I mean that's waaaay oversimplified but that's the gist of it. Anyways. Everything was a mess for me for a while. You know I stayed with Xavier and Joe and then  Xavier's husband got a really good job offer here so we all picked up and left LA."

“And now you’re in New York.” He finishes your thought

“Yeah. Well Jersey technically because rent is $1000 less a month. But I’m applying for jobs as assistant director at tv stations and theaters. I’m hopeful something will come up. I can’t really teach fitness classes anymore.”

Namjoon listens thoughtfully, feeling like a jackass for never asking about this stuff before. What kind of soulmate was he? 

“Well, let me know if you need a job reference.”

“Ahahahaha,” You laugh awkwardly. “No way. I don’t want people thinking I only got a job because I know someone famous.”

“Sweetheart, that’s how everyone gets jobs in the industry.” He leans against the counter.

“I don’t know, I’ll think about it.” You fidget

“You know I’ll just text Xavier and he’ll tell me the companies you applied for.” Namjoon flashes his dimples at you.

You scowl. “I didn’t realize you two were so chummy.”

“Hey, we bonded a lot in the hospital.” His phone let out a chirp. “The food is at the security office. I’ll be back in a few. Make yourself at home.” He heads over to the foyer to slip his shoes on. 

You decide to unpack and then wash your face and brush your teeth before returning to the main area where he has just returned. “That was fast”, you comment, meeting him near the door and taking a bag from his hands.

“I rode my bike over.” He replies, following you to the kitchen. 

“They let your clumsy ass ride a bike?” You tease, pulling food out.

He lets out a laugh, “Yeah. Just remember, only one of us has got hit by a car.”

“Touche. Touche. Alright. I don’t know what any of this is, so I’m going to go wait at the table like a lazy bitch.”

“Haha, fair enough. I’ll bring it over. “

You head over and have a seat at the dining table, placing your water down. This feels so weird. So intimate. He joins a few minutes later placing a bunch of food on the table along with a spoon and chopsticks.

“I’m sure there’s a fork around here somewhere if you need one.” He says as he opens the lids on the containers.

“I lived in LA where we ate sushi almost every day, I think I’ll be ok.” You sass back, ,looking over all of the delicious food. You start to dig in. He sits waiting to see what your reaction will be. You flash him a thumbs up as you chew. It’s definitely good. He smiles and begins to eat as well.

Dinner is relatively quiet. You had no idea how hungry you were until you started to eat. Some of the foods had a texture you didn’t quite care for, but overall you liked it all.

“Wow. That was delicious. Thank you so much.” You smile

“It was. You’re welcome.” He gets up and starts to clear the table and you join him. 

You continue to yawn involuntarily as the two of you straighten up the kitchen,

“Do you want some coffee or a nap?” he asks.

“I’m going to try and stay awake a little bit longer. What does the rest of the night look like?”

“Relaxing. I am exhausted from work. And you don’t look so fresh yourself. LEt’s watch a movie or something.” He says it so casually. Like this is a normal thing the two of you do. Like it hasn’t been months since the last time you saw each other and you left him naked and alone in a bed. You feel your heartbeat speed up.

“Hold on, I’m changing into some comfy clothes before I make this commitment.” you get up and head towards your room.

You come back in leggings and a shirt. Namjoon has re-positioned himself on the end of the couch. You sit next to him. “Ok, all set,” you grab your blanket. 

“You take your comfort quite seriously,” Namjoon laughs as he hits the play button. 

“Definitely,” you respond, yawning. After about half an hour, It’s dark outside, the night spilling into the living room. You are trying to keep your eyes open. You feel Namjoon put his large arm around you. You don’t resist, you nestle into it. You feel the warmth of his body radiating against you. It feels so nice.You try to stay awake but your eyelids grow heavy.  The next thing you know, you wake up slowly, not quite oriented to where you are. Your face is sweaty. You take stock of your surroundings. You are still in the living room. You must have fallen asleep while watching the movie. You move a bit and realize you are not alone. Namjoon is asleep as well. Underneath you. Oh god. You probably trapped him. Is that your drool on his shirt? You wonder. But you know that yes, it definitely is. Jesus [Y/N].Not making a great impression here.  Must sneak out so the drool will dry before he wakes up. You move as stealthy as possible off of him, which is very difficult since you found yourself laying between his legs. How did you even get like that? You had gone in for a light snuggle to see how it would be received and then apparently passed out dead. No more starting movies when you were tired. You knew it was your weakness. 

The poor man probably had to pee and was stuck, forced to lay underneath you until he fell asleep.    Is he snoring? Huh. Well ok. You drool and he snores. Very attractive individuals. You grab a blanket from your nest on the other side of the couch and put it on top of him. You sneak down the hallway to your bathroom, pee and sneak into your bedroom. You lay down and try to fall asleep, but your heart is beating fast as all you can think about it falling asleep on Namjoon. You feel your face grow warm. You are  a mix of turned on and embarrassed. You turn off your light and wonder if he will still want to go sightseeing with your drooly-ass tomorrow.  @calling-dips-on-j-hope​​  @ghostkat23​​ @cuteipat​​ @marianeamine​​@thisisval​​ @almonte12​​  @themisunderstoodblackswan​ @bobbyboops​  @betysotelo18​ @katerbees​

[kaypeace21]

DID theory part 3: St novels/comics/spotify list analyses

*read part 2  of DID theory-first! You’ll be lost otherwise, seriously XD. First, I’ll say -I find the ST comics/ books as canon as the st movie inspirations . I don’t consider the books/comics ‘literal canon’ (cause they contradict the show ( like Max and billy meeting a year before s2  in runaway max - but meeting as little kids in s3,  or El’s age being wrong in suspicious minds, in the d&D comic Will’s friends instead of him /Jonathan building castle byers, etc) . 

So I think we shouldn’t take it  literally - but more like the st movie lists - filled with foreshadowing/symbolism and other eastereggs (That the Duffers may have told them to add). So here’s some more (possible) alter / DID hints...

‘Suspicious minds’ novel

- Brenner  equates k*lling rabbits to h*rting kids. And he’ll hurt (kid) Kali (the bunny in the analogy) if Terry tries running away from him . I wonder if Lonnie used a similar threat against jonathan? Jon could be giving only a partial truth to why he cried for a week (about the bunny story)?

-Kali “hops” like a bunny then talks about tigers obsessively (linking her to rabbits/tigers similar to the other alters/Will/Lonnie). Terry also imagines tigers and kali says to Alice they can all be tigers together.

- one of the only male psychic experiments (who can see the future) is gay

- Terry is into lord of the rings, like Will. Has her and her boyfriend dress as sam & frodo (m/m ship). Terry calls her and her friends “the fellowship”.

-when Terry/Alice were injected with d**gs -they hallucinated rainbows.yikes.

- Alice (like Lonnie) is a car mechanic. She can see the future like Will the wise and says “monsters of course my mind has them as long as they stayed in there, everything would be alright? Wouldn’t it?” (in her visions she saw the demogorgan).

 (completed) graphic ST novels (by Jody Hozer) so far  (+ other st comics).

*Jody Hozer writes all the graphic novels (every novel is 4 chapters each) - the will byers comic, number 6 comic , into the fire comic, and at the moment she’s writing the d&d series and the summer camp series (which isn’t done yet). Then there’s the occasional 1 chapter st comics not written by her.

- Number 6 has (the ability to foresee the future like Will the wise/Alice) and has an ab*sive dad. 

When having a nightmare of the demogorgan ...she says as she wakes up “screw you dad” (another hint the demogrgan -aka in d&d means ‘deep father’ ...is Lonnie).

- when number 6 and others run they say they’re’ “rabbiting”(which yes technically makes sense but I found such an uncommon phrase odd.)

- The (summer camp and d&d graphic novels aren’t completed yet) but they establish d&d creatures are based off  real life people the boys don’t like in real life. Or that d&d is used as an outlet to explain true events from their pasts -but they just give the true stories a d&d fantasy slant.

- Which brings me to the halloween oneshot(not by Hozer),taking place before s1. Will tells a scary story told to him by Jonathan, and originally told to him by Lonnie. Says the boys have to keep it a secret cause it was something he was never supposed to tell to anyone. Mike says he has to finish the story he started. It’s about a “ch*lld-eater” monster first attacking a boy near the quarry (like where Will was found) and  attacking kids in a library (where Will was also found in s1).When the child sees the sheriff she bangs on the library door begging for help-he ignores her , walks away, and tells the other cops to never speak of what they saw as she screams for help. Because the previous sheriff was in kahoots with the monster. It def had some ... uh questionable imagery too 0_0

The vine in the mouth is also like the one in Will’s mouth (when Joyce found him in the library).And of course Dustin asks whether or not something like that could be covered up.

- In the “bully  comic” (about troy) also not by Jody. We focus on Troy and his ab*sive dad (who encourages him to fight/ditch his best friend). The dad has a drinking problem (gets fired), calls Troy a “mess” , pushes him, and constantly encourages Troy to be vi*lent/macho. He pretty much tries sabotaging the relationship Troy has with his friend (which I could see Lonnie doing in the future with byler).The dad/troy is framed similarly to when Billy gives Max a ride home-  after both ab*sers give bad advice saying not to hang out with their friend (after witnessing them fight in the school parking lot). Dad also laughs about almost k*lling a squirrel (a trait we see troy mimic)- and we see El feel guilty about k*lling a squirrel in s2. At the end of the comic- Troy (like Will) after making up with his bff james- moves leaving his best friend behind.

-  (into the fire) Twins: (one was normal with no powers living in the real world and the twin with fire powers is trapped in a dark sunless “cold” world styled like a psych facility/medieval fantasy) . pics in link.She hated her reflection cause it reminded her of being betrayed by her normal non powered twin who left her behind in the ‘cold’ place. She’d call herself a ‘hunter’ who would defend herself and attack others to never be hurt again. Her powers being unleashed were described like opening “a door.” And she loves her twin deep down and just wants friends . And fire twin goes to the “other side” to reunite with her reflection and find happiness in the real world. *also there’s sunflower/bunny symbols which she lights on fire-which can relate back to Will/Terry/Lonnie etc. The twins = Will & Will the wise (mf)

Mirrors also connect to Will and Will the wise via the canon spotify playlists too.

Will playlist (song: mirror in the bathroom)-Mirror in the bathroom Please talk free.The door is locked -Just you and me.Mirror in the bathroom recompense for all my crimes of self defense.Cures you whisper make no sense!Drift gently into Mental illness.

Demogorgan playlist ( from perspective of Will the wise aka the mf) (song: are you dead yet? )-”polluted soul through a mirror I behold.Throw a punch, shards bleed on the floor. tearing me apart. but I don't care anymore.Should I regret or ask myself are you dead yet?Wake up, don't cry. Regenerate to deny the truth. The fiction you live in blindfolds your eyes. Disclosure, self loathing, this time you've gone too far.Or could it be, my nemesis, that you are me?

(*st ‘into the fire’ comic. the fire powered twin’s thoughts echo the song)

*I think this foreshadows the later plot points of mf (will the wise ) and Will interacting via mirrors. The fire-wielding twin and the non powered twin had a lot of mirror imagery. Including the fire powered twin (Who denies reality/and imagines herself in a fantasy world) punching her reflection because it reminds her of her non-powered twin. Here’s some cover art from the novels showing how much they emphasize mirrors.

*And in s4 movies Black swan - “the black and white swan twins (two halves of the same person-Nina)” had creepy mirror imagery. In long kiss goodnight the women with DID talks to her “ (supposed)dark 1/2″  via a mirror (in a dream).  in ‘the visit’ the teen girl who’s dad abandoned her when young-  refuses to look in the mirror (and it’s never explained why she hates her reflection). So yes I think we’ll see this in s4 or 5. We already see the mf take on the appearance of Billy when talking to him.

- Will in “zombie boy” comic is afraid he’s a monster.

also lets appreciate the lil byler moment of Mike and Will being the only zombies and mike comforting him. honestly , though, the characters were pretty out of character for most of this 1 ch comic (until the end) tbh.

- in the “d&d comic” mf is  (possibly) described as a “protector” (aka like how i said the mf is probably a perpetrator alter- which are misguided protectors).

*update now that it’s finished... hinting Will created everything subconsciously.

‘Runaway Max’ novel (before s3)

(I didn’t get time to read this book unlike ‘suspicious minds’ -so can’t show screen shots of everything others talked about. May read it eventually)

-Max compares Billy  to ‘her monster’ and a ‘shadow’ that will attack anyone that comes close (mf parallel).

- Dart k*lled a cat,  El’s papa tried to force her to k*ll a cat. And Billy when seeing a d*ad cat lights it on fire for a “viking funeral”. A connection to WW (who has fire powers) and El & dart.

-Max and Billy both are into cars and bond over fixing them (similar to Lonnie’s interest in fixing up cars). And since Lonnie tried to brag to Jonathan about fixing a car up and Will is into tech it wouldn’t be a stretch that Lonnie and Will were into fixing cars together (like Max/billy who would hang out at a autoshop in Cali) .  Similar to Will ,max says hanging with Billy wasn’t always so bad- which made things more confusing to her.

- Max compares Billy being beat up by Neil: to ‘punching a pocket of a baseball glove’. This is interesting since this book was pre-s3 which was when they established the connection of billy and his dad to baseball (similar to s1 saying  Lonnie taught Will baseball).

-Billy’s friend is a nice ‘music snob’ . He tries distracting Max with music while Billy is burning the cat. Which reminds me of Jonathan trying to distract Will from their parents fighting in the next room-with music

- Max’s bio dad is a criminal who takes her to shady bars, and Max fears he’d ‘get bored of her’. Max also ran away from her mom to her dad’s 2x.Which reminds me of Jonathan thinking Will ran to Lonnie’s in s1.

-Max mentions how Billy misses his friends after moving out of Cali. And he starts acting even worse-after the move. Which will probably be the case for Will (at least a bit) when moving to California.

-Billy tells Max Neil isn’t his ‘real dad’ either because Neil can’t be a father to anyone.

-Billy also tells Max who (at the time ) is 12 years old not to act “easy” and breaks her best friend’s (Nate’s) arm over  someone joking he was Max’s boyfriend and also cause Nate tried to get in between Billy bullying Max. Eventually all her Cali friends ditch her cause they’re afraid of Billy.And Ugh- why could I see Lonnie doing something like this in the future with Will/his new friends. 

- Creepily Max says Billy doesn’t fool around with her like other girls not because of her age or being family. But cause she wasn’t ‘attractive’. This whole excerpt gave me the heeby jeebies,on so many levels, honestly.  Almost like he’s jealous- and controlling her cause he doesn’t want Max to have any love interests. Maybe i’m just missing the context? But ugh... excerpt:

Will byers secret Files

-Hopper gets scared by a pumpkin-scarecrow. And in Will’s canon journal when talking about the mindflayer and his nightmares draws the same scare-crow , Hopper saw. There’s also a lot of s4-5 foreshadowing in the book... but that’s a post for another day.

Darkness on the edge of town (Hopper novel)

*didn’t get time to read this (except the preview)

 I think it’s more foreshadowing for future seasons though- cult/supposed ritual k*llings, people being wrongly blamed for those crimes-like the hellfire club , most likely.  (similar to the guy number 3 in the number 6 comic)  saint john in the novel also has the same brain control powers as 3- similar to the mf. .” When a blackout plunges the boroughs into chaos, Hopper must escape the the mobs in the streets to make sure his family is safe and stop Saint John from fulfilling his prophecy.” I already talked about here- how the next few seasons would start having more religious symbolism/a future apocalypse (based on what we’ve seen in the show/s4 movies). Although, i think there’s quite a few differences between (the novel’s) saint john and Will the wise. Hopper is also a star wars nerd like the boys (alter hint)

Canon spotify songs (posted after s2/before s3) hinting at DID/ alter /lonnie stuff-

Will  and Will the wise (aka the mf) being an alter

*Used Will and the demogorgan playlist (which i think has perspectives of Will the wise aka the mf, demogorgan, and Lonnie).

Besides the mirror songs previously mentioned...

Will (cold inside)-Doctor the problem's in my chest.My heart feels cold as ice but it's anybody's guess?Doctor can you help me cause I don't feel right?Better make it fast before I change my mind. Doctor can you help me cause I don't feel right?Better make it fast before I change my mindWell it's cold, cold, cold, cold inside. Darker in the day than the dead of night Cold, cold, cold, cold inside...Counselor give me some advice Tell me how hard will I fall if I live a double life?

El (ghost)-your ghost, the ghost of you.It keeps me awake.My friends had you figured out.Yeah they saw what's inside of you. You tried hiding another you.But your evil was coming through... living in the shade Your cold heart makes my spirit shake.

El (monster Lead me home)-I don't know what, what I was afraid of, I was afraid oooof...Monster take me somewhere...We walk in shadow.Monster lead me home.Where there is no place to hide.Stranger on the other side We walk in shadow.Monster lead me home.

 The’ innerworld’/  other hints Max, El, Hopper, and Billy are alters of Will’s

Max (Logical song)-I know it sounds absurd. Please tell me who I am, who I am, who I am, who I am?

EL(Buzzcut season)-I remember when your head caught flame It kissed your scalp and caressed your brain ...nothing's wrong when nothing's true. I live in a hologram with you Where all the things that we do for fun . Play along (make-believe it's hyper real) But I live in a hologram with you.

Billy (broken bones)-Broken bones.Stay alone. If I see only what I believe -reality's bound by what I conceive

Max (Why can’t i touch it)-Well, it seems so real.I can see it.And it seems so real-I can feel it.And it seems so real-I can taste it.And it seems so real-I can hear it.So why can't I touch it?

Hopper (breakers)-Just to keep me from losing my mind .It's so easy to drown in the dream.Oh, and everything is not what it seems This life is but a dream.Shatter illusions that hold your spirit down ...From the inside, so it seems.Oh, I'm telling you it's all a dream It's all a dream It's all a dream It's all a dream It's all a It's all a dream.”

Max (comfortably numb)-When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse out of the corner of my eye.I turned to look but it was gone.I cannot put my finger on it now.The child is grown.The dream is gone.I have become comfortably numb.

Max (Kids aren’t alright)-Still it's hard Hard to see Fragile lives, shattered dreams...What the hell is going on? The cruelest dream, reality.

El(team)-Livin' in ruins of a palace within my dreams. And you know we're on each other's team

Hopper (denial twist) ( just change ‘she’ to ‘he’)-Just because she makes you feel wrong she don't mean to be mean or hurt you on purpose, boy!Take a tip and do yourself a little service...by playing a different role Ya, by playing a different role, oh.The boat ya you know she's rockin' it.And the truth well ya know there's no stoppin' it.So what, somebody left you in a rut and wants to be the one who's in control.But the feeling that you're under can really make you wonder.How the hell she can be so cold?So now you're mad, denying the truth.And it's getting in the wisdom in the back of your tooth

El (the story)-You see the smile that's on my mouth.It's hiding the words that don't come out.And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed.They don't know my head is a mess.No they don't know who I really am.And they don't know what I've been through

El (hero) ( pretty much alludes to El being a construct of Will’s mind similar to his juju zombies in the d&d story he wrote )-Who knows what you'll find when you look inside (billy’s mind)?Haunted beach (billy flashback), roll the dice.The zombies in the corner aren't amused (d&d ref).Play the part of the blushing bride...Out of view, cloaked by night...My spirit dims, but I feel the force"No longer in my hands,"  (loses powers) .I say to you .I could've been a hero, I could've been a zero.Could've been all these thingsI could've been nothing, I could've had something.Could've been all these things.And if I am unable, tell him that I'll try but underneath the table will spin the wheel and hope for gold. Oh, and where it stops, nobody knows.

Max (it’s real)-I don't know who's behind the wheel.Sometimes I feel like I don't know The deal.But when I tell you how I feel-Believe me when I say It's real.I skated on a frozen Sea.It's real as far as I Can see?

Max (Halloween)-Because your role is planned for you there's nothing you can do.

El (White rabbit... alice and wonderland/lonnie ref)-And if you go chasing rabbits, and you know you're going to fall...When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead.

demogrogan(Dimensions of horror)-Gaze upon the ancient face you dread (lonnie)... Passing through the doors, into Dimensions Of Horror. Haunting visions from the past, rise once more.Realms of darkness, terror, death and gore.Scream in fear, your sanity is lost

demogorgan (SCHORCHED)-Terrorizing madness. Vivid dreams. internal. Hallucinating the unknown. Abstract entities prey.Through superhuman abilities.Fragments of memory erased.

demogrogan (Calling from a dream)-the shadow king...seven spirits (7 ref) Swarming around his head.Close your eyes.Listen to my call. Our bond will bring us together again.I will wait for you. For our hearts still beat as one.Listen to my calling from a dream. (integration?)

 Maybe a coincidence or a hint at Will having both male &female alters?Billy (dude looks like a lady)- What a funky lady...Oh, he was a lady.Dude looks like a lady. Hopper (turn the page)-All the same old cliches,"Is that a woman or a man?" Max ( rebel rebel) (this was on her her pre s3 spotify list + post s3 “wrapped list”)- you got your mother in a whirl, doesn’t know if you’re a boy or girl? 

 SHIT DAD/ AB*SIVE FAMILY

*trigger w*rning ahead for dark themes like s**ual ab*se

demogorgan (my children)My children I never loved them.Why feel that way when their existence is my business?My children...feral vessals of my selfinterest...So don't lean on me man 'Cause I ain't got nothing to give.Don't lean on me man 'Cause I ain't got nothing to give.My children they're right behind you My children they're gonna beat you.My children if you let them Oh, oh, my children.

demogorgan (black dahlia-window):  I’m not quoting the lyrics you can just look it up.  it’s messed up.Based on the 1st person pov of Gilles de Rais -k**ler and p*d*rest who also kidnapped a cleric.

Will (creature comfort)-Some boys hate themselves.Spend their lives resenting their fathers... hate their bodies .Stand in the mirror (another mirror ref) and wait for the feedback.Some boys get too much, too much love, too much touch.

Jonathan’s Playlist- We’re happy family: “Eating refried beans (poverty). Gulpin’ down Thorazines (pills for a mood disorder). We ain’t got no friends (s2 ref). Our troubles never end. Daddy likes men. Daddy’s telling LIES.”

Jonathan’s playlist-Enter sandman: “Don’t forget my son. Sleep with one eye open. Gripping your pillow tight, Exit light, Enter night. Take my hand, we’re off to never-never land. Something’s wrong, shut the light, heavy thoughts tonight. Dreams of LIARS and of things that will bite, yeah. Hush little baby don’t say a word, and never mind that noise you heard. It’s just the beasts under your bed, in your closet in your head.”

Jonathan (The killing moon-guy sings this)-So soon you'll take me up in your arms. Too late to beg you or cancel it. Against your will!He will wait until you give yourself to him...In starlit nights I saw you.So cruelly you kissed me... unwillingly mine.

jonathan (haunted)-You and I both know that the house is haunted And you and I both know that the ghost is me. You used to catch me in your bed-sheets just a-rattling your chains.Well back then , it didn't seem so strange...In the midnight hour..I was busy trying to charm that snake. When the sun came up we had no place to hide...You and I both know that the house is haunted  yeah you and I both know that the ghost is YOU! You used to walk around screaming, all slamming all 'dem doors Well I'm all grown up now and I don't scare easy no more But you and I both know.

Hopper (Confession)-Now I'm on the low Confession, to a virgin ghost Admission, force you know.

hopper (Tomorrow ) Yeah, and back when s*x and amph*tamines were the staples of our childhood physique.

Max (Last caress)-I got something to say.I k**led your baby today.And it doesn't matter much to me.As long as it's de*d.Well I got something to say.I r*ped your mother today.And it doesn't matter much to me.As long as she spread. (Lonnie pov? Neil?messed up song to be on Max’s list)

hopper House of the rising sun- And my father was a gamblin' man Way down in New Orleans... And the only time he's satisfied Is when he's on a drunk

Max Poor relations-An attitude, no patience, he's paper thin.Talking over everything you have to say...Don't correct the things he said, what's the use?Can't handle violence.Can't handle violence.Learning to love the abuse you can't live without.Your familiar oppression, your daily injustice...That loser man that belongs to you, he's ruling you.

el (sweet dreams are made of this)- Some of them want to use you ...Some of them want to ab*se you.Sweet dreams are made of this...Hold your head up.Keep your head up, movin' on.

Max (Alternative ulster)-They say they're a part of you.And that's not true, you know.They say they've got control of you.And that's a lie, you know.They say you will never Be free, free, free

max In bloom-”Sometimes at night I let it get to me.And last night it had me down and feeling NUMB...And thinking back upon those days Way way back when I was young.I was such a little shit.Cos I was always on the run.Well you know just what they say-Just like father then like son.Don't delude me with your sympathy.Cos I can do this on my own.And this will be the last time-That I break down and wanna crawl to bed. “(since Billy has a playlist I found this song choice being on hers instead of his interesting- in fact almost all of Max’s songs are from the 1st person perspective of a boy unlike the other gals.)

Max (comfortably numb)-The child is grown.The dream is gone.I have become comfortably NUMB.

hopper (numb)-Honey, here I go again Down that crooked road of sin.My momma locked me out again And hung me high to rust under the rain I am NUMB( 8x)....Little bluebird at my window Sing a pretty song for me Don't you know that you can fly, fly, fly away Don't you know that you can leave I am numb.

other psych songs

Hopper (life of sin)-Every morning when I rise I look in the mirror (another mirror ref) and despise the sight of everything and all that I've become. The level of my medicating some might find intimidating But that's alright cause' it don't bother me none.

 Max (Moon over marin)- “Dive in my scalding wooden tub (connects to mf/el)...There, wasn't that a nice visit?Don't forget, a psychiatrist is on duty twenty-four hours a day in the blue room...Drink plenty of water when you take these.Now you can relax.” ( I wonder if stranger writers saying to “drink plenty of water” is secretly a line said by a psych person in s4?)

Max (Feeling ok)-My doctor says that I should take it -At least I won't have to keep faking.I know, someday I'll find it-Where I, I least expect it.Today I know I feel ok.

Max ( Going gets tough)-.No home since the fire.Me and the ash can't settle down...So I sink another round-Placebo for pain.And there's no one for to blame . I refuse to accept-That my work is all in vain...Still always remembering .When the going gets tough .That the labor of our love-Will reward us soon enough.

 Max (Comfortably numb)-Hello? (Hello? Hello? Hello?)Is there anybody in there?Just nod if you can hear me.Is there anyone home?Come on now-I hear you're feeling down.Well I can ease your pain .Get you on your feet again.Relax // Now I've got that feeling once again.I can't explain . you would not understand.This is not how I am. I have become comfortably numb.I have become comfortably numb //Okay (okay, okay, okay)Just a little pinprick.There'll be no more, ah .But you may feel a little sick.Can you stand up?I do believe it's working, good.That'll keep you going through the show.Come on it's time to go// Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.

Explanations of Why the mf  (WIll the wise)behaves the way he does

demogorgan (ww) (Cowards starved)- friends think of me as a priest.I had to show them that the weakest hands Can still make impressive fires. (aka MF = will the wise)

demogorgan (ww) (Unmerciful):I will be reborn...Tranquil demeanor.Now devoured.Surfacing malice...I can't reconcile the torment others bring unto me.I will not take any reproach.Turning the other cheek.Relentless hatred consumes.Control released.Absolved of all compassion.I am free .Look into my hate filled eyes and tell me What do you see?Surging aura of my rage Paralyzing you in fear.

Demogorgan (ww) (bodies-Beaten why for (why for)?Can't take much more.(Here we go, here we go, here we go).One, nothing wrong with me,Two, nothing wrong with me.Three, nothing wrong with me.Four, nothing wrong with me.One, something's got to give.Two, something's got to give.Three, something's got to give now...You're all by yourself but you're not alone...Driven by hate consumed by fear.

demogrgan (ww)-Orbs used as transmitters carry electromagnetic beams from above (affecting magnetic fields in the show).Silence, manipulated, tortured ...How immune is your system of suffering?Its in the blood of suffering (familial ref).Its in the blood.

 Demogrgan (Monster)-I shoot the lights out..Whoa, just another lonely night...None of who you get it, ain't nobody cold as this.A zombie (will ref) with no conscience .Everybody knows I'm a motherfucking monster. Everybody wanna know what my Achilles' heel is? Love I don't get enough of it.

[smol-and-grumpy]

Light My Fire - CH03

Pairing: CEO!Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: She always thought her boss was an ill-tempered man, but when he presents her with a proposition she can’t quite deny, she gets to know him better. It’s not bad, right? Because all she has to do is being fake married to him for six months, sounds do-able, right? Right.

Warnings: There’s sweet fluff in this.

WC: 2738

Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

Beta’d by @deanwanddamons​​ <3

SERIES MATSTERLIST

They enjoy their glass of wine in silence before her stomach starts to growl. It growls the loudest she’s ever heard. Maybe it’s because she hasn't had anything to eat since this morning, and her stomach rebels against the wine as it’s  the only thing in there. She should have known better.

Dean must have heard it because he starts to chuckle, “What toppings do you like? I thought we could share one.” 

“Sure, but don’t judge, please?” She says as she stands up, sees Dean’s eyes on her and feels the urge to cover up. He gets up from his chair and takes the towel she brought out with her, holds it up for her to cover herself.

When he looks at her again, he has one eyebrow cocked, “Why should I judge?”

 “Uh, because I quite like pineapples on pizza,” 

“I don’t judge,” Dean scoffs, and adds, “But I really think that should be illegal,” He laughs, but he doesn’t say anything more, and goes in to order their pizza. 

Y/N slips in while he’s on the phone and goes straight to her room, and changes into something comfortable. Now that she’s seen that he wears sweats, she’s happy to match him. It’s actually pretty weird seeing Dean like this because the only clothes she ever saw him in are suits, it makes her think that he even sleeps in them. She wonders if he has other clothes at all.

When the pizza arrives, Dean moves the glasses and bottle into the living room and asks her what movie she wants to watch, but she really doesn’t mind so she lets him choose. Dean zaps through Netflix and settles on Bird Box. 

While the movie starts, he hands her some napkins, and she’s wondering if that’s enough, because she’d hate to ruin the nice couch. He must have sensed her hesitation because he’s smirking, “It’s okay, you don’t wanna know what I managed to spill on this couch already,”

“Ewww,” She mocks, cringes her nose and he snorts out a laugh.

It’s easy, she thinks. It’s easy to let herself go. It’s easy to be here with him and just talk about anything outside of work. She comes to the conclusion that Dean’s not such an asshole after all. In fact, he’s a real gentleman. And that’s not really good, is it? It makes her feel things she shouldn’t feel.

She shakes the thought out of her head and takes a slice of pizza out of the box. It’s then  that she realizes that the whole pizza is riddled with pineapples. She frowns, “I thought you didn’t like pineapples on pizza?”

“I don’t,” Dean shrugs, takes a bite and pretends to wrinkle his nose before he grins with his mouth full and continues to eat. 

Y/N doesn’t think she makes it far into the movie because her eyelids are getting heavy halfway through. It’s the most illogical, most boring thing she’s ever seen, but she didn’t want to hurt his feelings so she tries to watch it. 

Last thing she remembers, though, is that she’s half leaning against Dean before she fell asleep. 

 ***

 Y/N wakes up in a bed. It’s clearly not hers. It took her an embarrassingly long time to realize that she’s in Dean’s apartment and that she’s in her bedroom. 

Oh no, she remembers eating pizza with Dean, remembers falling asleep to the stupid movie. He must have carried her to her bed. 

Her own fucking boss had to carry her to bed! If that’s not embarrassing she doesn’t know what is. 

She scans the room and her eyes settle on the clock on her nightstand. It’s already past 8am. She slept like a baby through her alarm but in her defense, the bed is so fucking comfortable, more comfortable than her own, and it’s only a fucking guest room. She wonders how comfortable Dean’s bed must be. How he can even wake up and get out of it every morning astounds her.

And then, the thought of being late for work crosses her mind before she realizes that she doesn’t have to go in. Realizes that she didn’t sleep through her alarm because she didn’t set one in the first place.

Grabbing her phone, she sees that there’s a text from Ruby.

 R: How was your first night? Did you consummate your fake marriage? *wink wink* 

 Then a text ten minutes later.

 R: Oh my god, it should have been a joke but you did, didn’t you? He’s in a remarkably good mood. Didn’t bitch about the coffee I brought him at all!

 Ah, Dean’s already at work then. He’s usually there before she turns up, and now she knows why. It’s only about a ten minutes walk from his apartment. 

 Y/N: Relax, nothing happened.

R: Ah, there she is.

Y/N: I slept in. The bed is so comfortable!

R: His bed I’d hope!

 She snorts out a laugh. 

 Y/N: No, I have my own room that’s bigger than my apartment.

R: Ugh, maybe I can come see you? Wanna see how the most not eligible bachelor lives. Or send me pics! Oh shit, he called out for me. I need to go. But I swear, whatever you’ve done to him. Do it again! I like to work for him when he’s not constantly yelling at people.

 She chuckles at that. She doesn’t answer Ruby though, instead she sends a text to Jack, telling him that she’s got another job that would secure him his degree and that everything’s okay.

Climbing out of bed, she decides to get coffee. It’s weird not having to go to work and she kind of misses it a little. 

Y/N walks out into the kitchen where there’s still a faint smell of his cologne and coffee in the air. A deadly combination for her brain apparently, because it makes her insides tingle in all the right places. She looks around and immediately spots a yellow sticky note left on the machine. 

It’s Dean’s handwriting. She knows it from all the scribblings he leaves on her desk when he already shut off his laptop and thinks about something that she must do for him the next day. 

 The machine is easy to handle. On, off. That’s it. I’m sorry I made you watch that movie. If you want to know, it didn’t get better after you fell asleep. Two hours of our lives, wasted. I’ll see you tonight, maybe we can watch something else — D

 She’s smirking. He really took his time this morning to write her a fucking novel. It really baffles her that he goes out of his way for her and it really seems like he genuinely cares to make her stay with him as comfortable as he can. Well, it does benefit him too, come to think of it.

 *

 After another round on the massage comforter, she walks into her room to find a message from Jack. 

 J: I hope you don’t sell yourself for my benefit. But I trust you. Miss you x

 She has to smirk and immediately types an answer back.

 Y/N: Just stay in college and make me proud, alright?

 Just when she’s about to put her phone away, it lights up with a call.

Dean.

“Hello?” She says, wondering if she should add sir to it at first but decides to drop it.

“Hey, you slept alright?”

She smiles, “Yeah, thanks. It’s the most comfortable bed.” She bites on her tongue so as to not ask him about him carrying her back to said bed.

There’s a light chuckle on the other end, “Good. Listen, I went over my schedule today because Ruby didn’t do it for me, and saw that I can’t have a movie night this evening like I wrote on the note,” He pauses to think, “You found the note, right?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“So, you maybe did know this because you arranged the invitation and you put it into my calendar, but I didn’t until about twenty minutes ago,”

She thinks hard about his schedule, remembers that there was something. An event. Some kind of gala. 

“But instead of watching a movie, what would you say to me taking you out?” He says, “I called them and managed to do a last minute adjustment to my invitation.”

“Oh,” She huffs out, knowing where Dean wants to go with that.

“Thought it’d be a good opportunity to show them my wife. Are you in?”

He still asks, even if he actually doesn’t have to? Because yeah, she obviously can’t be a fake wife in private. The world needs to see it. Amara needs to see it.

“I guess,” She mutters. She is actually not really sure if she can pull that off. Her heart beats faster just thinking about walking on a red carpet.

“Y/N, you don’t have to, you know,” It’s as if he senses her dread, “I don’t want to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, but we should at least try to look like a happily married couple and we can’t pretend if you don’t want to.”

“No— I mean, it’s okay, I’ll do it,” Her voice is more firm this time. She wants to. Wants to show him that she can do it. 

It shouldn’t be hard, right? She’s been with a man before. She knows all that hand holding stuff. And Dean’s paying her double for god’s sake. What’s an evening of being flirty with him? It’s not like he is an old greasy man. Well, maybe that would be better? Maybe then she will not risk falling for him? Because that’s what is going to happen if she’s not careful, she just knows it. And then she’ll get her heart broken. Even though a broken heart is a little price to pay if it means that Jack can finally start his own future, come to think of it.

“Okay,” There’s a huff of breath, he’s smiling, she can hear it, “Good. I’ll get Gabe to drop off my card, you can go shopping for a dress. The card has no limit, just buy whatever you want, alright?”

She grins smugly, “I need shoes, too.”

“Buy all the things you want.”

“Alright, sir.”

“Y/N, stop calling me that. Unless,” He pauses and there’s a playfulness in his voice, “That’s what you like.”

She’s glad it’s not a video call, so he isn’t able to see that her face is burning up. She doesn’t say anything and Dean takes the hint.

“Right, I have another meeting, I’ll see you around 7pm. The gala starts at 8pm.”

“K, bye Dean.”

“Have fun.”

*

 Y/N’s standing in her room as she waits for Dean to come back. He’ll probably need to shower and get dressed too. 

Gabe came by to drop off Dean’s Centurion card and he walked straight into Dean’s bedroom to drop off Dean’s tux onto his bed. She never had such a card in her hands, it feels heavy, made of platinum, not like her cheap plastic one that she only uses once in a blue moon.

At first she didn’t know where to go because she hadn't been dress shopping for a gala before. She wondered if H&M would be a good choice but then thinks that it probably wouldn’t. While she was out shopping she looked into shop windows and came across a beautiful long sleeved sequin pattern dress in gold. 

She never knew gold would look good on her but the shop assistant was so nice, even though she knows it’s that woman’s job, she felt really good in the dress and it wasn’t over the top with the price so Dean should be okay with it. She couldn’t resist buying matching shoes, too. 

Later, she splashed out some money for lingerie that she could wear under it and hoped that Dean wouldn’t mind. He told her to buy whatever she likes, so.

And now, she’s nervously pacing around her room. Her pacing only stops when she hears footsteps approaching.

There’s a knock at her door, “Y/N, you okay?”

“Yeah,” She manages to say.

“Good, sorry I’m a little late, had to pick up something on the way. I’ll shower and get dressed. Meet you in the living room in thirty minutes?”

“Sure,”

She hears him opening the door to his room.

Thirty minutes. Ugh. She hasn’t even applied makeup yet. She’s so nervous.

After a last check in the mirror, she walks out into the living area, her heels clicking on the marble flooring. She’s not used to wearing such high heels, and prays  that she won’t stumble and fall flat on her face. 

As she rounds the corner into the living area, she sees Dean already waiting for her, dressed in a fitting tux and smelling so fucking delicious. He looks like he’s just stepped out of a glossy magazine spread and that’s not fair. She can already see the press giving them a caption for their picture together. It reads, DEAN WINCHESTER COULD DO SO MUCH BETTER. 

Y/N can feel Dean’s eyes on her. They’re wide and his lips part slightly before they curve up into a smile. It’s bright and white. She’s smiling too, can’t not smile when he’s looking at her like that. Looking at her like she’s the only one that matters. She’s not used to it at all.

“Wow,” Dean breathes out, “You look beautiful.”

She was already blushing before but now her cheeks heat up a little more, “Thank you. You’re not bad yourself.”

Dean has to chuckle and then all of a sudden, he runs back to his room, “I’ll be right back,”

After about a minute Dean reappears clutching things in his hand. One of them is a pocket square. He went in and picked out a color that matches her dress. She has to grin at that.

He places it inside his jacket but he seems to struggle, “Can you help me, I—”

“Of course,” She grins, and steps closer to him, arranging the pocket square so that I’d look nice. Patting his pocket, she leaves her hand on his chest when she’s done, feels his heartbeat underneath her palm. She can swear it beats a little faster than usual, not that she knows his resting heart rate. “All set.” She says and Dean grins at her. 

“Okay, now my turn,” Dean licks his lips and clears his throat, and she can’t help but wonder what he means by his turn.

She doesn’t have to wait long, because Dean opens up the little box he was still clutching and she can see the princess cut diamond engagement ring with a matching wedding band. 

“Dean, no.”

“Why, Dean, yes.” He chuckles, takes them out, and takes her left hand in his. “Y/N, will you give me the honor of being my fake wife for real now?” 

Y/N has to giggle at that, “Yeah, of course,”

He smiles, slips the ring onto her ring finger and to her surprise, they fit perfectly. She looks at Dean, raises her eyebrow, “Let me guess, Ruby?”

“Yeah,” Dean smirks, and then he shows her his left hand, “I have one, too. So, you ready?”

“Not really?” 

“That’s the spirit,” Dean places his hand around her waist, pulls her close and kisses her cheek softly. 

It does nothing to calm her down because she’s even more nervous now. 

“You gotta try to keep me from falling, okay?,” She says as he moves his hand to the small of her back, and guides her to the door. 

“I would never let you fall,” Dean shows her a small smile and they step into the elevator. 

In there, she eyes him up again, can’t quite take her eyes off him. He looks so good with the slight scruff and the freckles, the crinkles around his eyes deepen the longer she stares at him. 

“What?” He asks her, raises an eyebrow.

“You look good, Mr. Winchester,” She says with a smile.

“You too, Mrs. Winchester. Most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. And I’m not lying.” He leans in, places another kiss on her heated cheeks before the elevator comes to a halt. 

He helps her get out and Gabriel’s already waiting, holding the limousine door open for them.

CH04

[jobean12-blog]

Top Shelf: Chapter 11- The Pages in Between

Pairing: Bucky x reader (Bookshop/bartender AU)

Word Count: 1,637

Summary: You tell Bucky your idea on how to save the bookshop 

Author’s Note: Hey everyone, Happy Monday! I know I say it every time but I’m so thankful for those of you that have stuck with me through this story. It makes me so happy. I’m sure you all saw this coming and that’s ok. As I’ve said before this really is just a love story that hopefully makes you feel good and happy. Thank you again! Thank you all for reading! All my love always! ❤❤❤

Warnings: SUPER FLUFFY LOVE FLUFF, implied sexy times :)

Previous Chapters (* indicates smut)

Chapter 1: Enchantment

Chapter 2: Cookie Crumble

Chapter 3: Sweet Anticipation

Chapter 4: Read Between the Limes

Chapter 5: Secrets on the Shelf

Chapter 6: Love Between the Covers *

Chapter 7: Love Lines & Soul Finds

Chapter 8: Drunk in Love *

Chapter 9: Pour in onto the Page

Chapter 10: Recipe for Love *

His response is almost immediate, your phone lighting up as his message comes through. ‘Really baby?? I can’t wait to hear all about it! I’m not going to lie I’m pretty excited.’ You smile at your phone as your fingers fly over the keyboard. ‘I know, me too. I mean it’s just the beginning of an idea and of course we have to talk about a bunch of things but I’m eager to hear what you think.’

You sink further into the tub, a sigh of contentedness leaving your lips. Just as your eyes begin to close your phone buzzes again. You grab it and read the message. ‘Send me one more pic. I have another two hours before I can get home to you.’ Stifling a giggle, you snap a photo of your legs resting atop the edge of the tub and send it his way. ‘Longest two hours of my life,’ is his reply, followed by, ‘you better be awake when I get home…’

Deciding to leave him hanging you enjoy the rest of the warm water, allowing the bubble bath to do its magic. By the time you get out you’re softer than a baby’s bottom and very relaxed. You put on Bucky’s tee shirt and get into his bed, cuddling into his pillow so you’re enveloped in his smell.

He gets home around 2 am, quietly shuffling into his room to find you peacefully asleep in his bed. The blinds are still open, and the light of the moon reflects off your glowing skin. Bucky sits at the edge of the bed, delicately tracing his fingers over your bare shoulder. Brushing some hair from your face he leans down to kiss the corner of your mouth just as it curls up into a smile.

You roll onto your back and blink open your eyes, tugging on his arm so he lays down. “Hi beautiful,” he whispers as his hands smooth over your silky skin. “I’m sorry if I woke you. I was just…” You silence him with a kiss, any excitement over your idea momentarily forgotten.

For once Bucky sleeps later than you, his bare feet slapping against the floor and jolting you from your thoughts. “How long have you been up doll?” You run over to him and throw yourself into his arms. He easily catches you, peppering your face with kisses. “I made coffee. BUT IT’S SO BAD. So now you have to make coffee.” You give him a sorry look, pushing yourself up and onto the counter while he starts a new pot.

Minutes later he hands you a cup, the delicious, hot liquid warming you from head to toe. “Ok, now that we’ve both had a sip of edible coffee and I can concentrate on what you’re saying rather than trying to get you naked, let’s hear it!” You almost spit out your coffee at this last comment, shaking your head in amusement. “Ok, so. Eeeeeeeee, ok, this coffee isn’t helping, I’m practically buzzing!” you say before you jump down from the counter.

Pacing the floor, you chew your bottom lip as you try to get your thoughts in order. To Bucky’s credit he waits patiently, sipping his coffee quietly and letting you do your thing. “Alright. So, I hate to sound all about myself, but everyone really liked the pie last night, right?” Bucky agrees with no hesitation. “And grandma, you and Nat went nuts over my chocolate chip peanut butter cookies, yes?” Again, Bucky nods enthusiastically, smiling big. “And you and grandma really loved my chocolate pie and chocolate chip cookies?”

Bucky gently grabs your shoulders, bringing you into his chest and looking you straight in the eyes. “Yes, yes and more yes. Your baking is amazing and there is no doubt that everyone agrees.” You can feel the blush creep up your cheeks, your head dropping to hide in Bucky’s chest. Feeling the rumble of his laugh makes you smile, his finger hooking under your chin to bring your eyes to his. “I mean it.”

With a kiss you continue. “Thank you. So, if you guys like it there is no reason that other people wouldn’t like it. What if we added a café or bakery to the bookshop? Or both! I realize that it will cost money and right now that’s the problem. But I haven’t really thought all that through yet. However, I think if we add the baked goods and maybe even coffee and hot chocolate and stuff like that it could draw in more of a crowd. Also, you have a bartending license. Maybe we can do poetry slams and/or trivia nights. We can serve drinks and treats and charge at the door.”

Your hands are flying every which way and you’re talking a mile a minute, your enthusiasm warming Bucky’s heart and making him fall even more in love with you. It isn’t until you’re out of breath and he’s finished his coffee that you finally slow down. “Well?” He stares at you for what feels like forever before he puts down his cup and takes you in his arms.

“I love you. And I love your idea. I definitely think we have some things to figure out and a lot to go over but together I think we can make anything work.” You shake your head yes, too many emotions welling up inside you to speak. You simply press your lips to his and tell him everything he needs to know.

Later that morning you head home to do laundry and clean up, missing Bucky the moment you walk through your door. Luckily, he had the idea to stay over at the bookshop tonight and sleep up in the secret attic space. To say you were excited was an understatement.

You pack a light bag and head over to meet him, but not before grabbing the tin of chocolate chip peanut butter cookies you baked earlier as a surprise for him. The bookshop is closing just as you arrive, and you smile at the customer who is leaving. Bucky runs around the cashier counter and plants a firm kiss on your lips.

“Hi. Missed you.” You shove the tin into his hands and say, “I was just about to say the same thing. I made you something.” Bucky’s eyes widen as he starts to open the tin, bringing it up to his nose and inhaling the delicious peanut butter and chocolate smell. “You made me more?” he asks, face still half inside. “Yes, and you can eat as many as you want, as long as you share with me.”

Popping one into his mouth he gives you a thumbs up, placing the tin down and turning the sign to closed and locking the door. “The pizza just got here 5 minutes ago, and they gave us paper plates and everything.” Your mouth waters at the mention of food. “Ok, great. I’m starving. I have water and more snacks too. Are we eating upstairs?”

Bucky nods, taking the cookies and pizza and walking toward the back. When you get up the stairs and open the door you’re surprised to see that Bucky has hung a small string of star lights over the love seat and made a pile of blankets and pillows in the middle of the floor.

“Aw Buck, it looks so beautiful and cozy! This is going to be so fun.” The two of you settle on the floor surrounded by the pizza box and snacks, your feet touching while you dig into your first slice.  “You have some sauce right there,” Bucky says, leaning in to brush his thumb over your bottom lip. You take his thumb into your mouth and suck off the sauce, closing your eyes and letting out a moan.

When you open them again his lips are only inches from yours.  He carefully takes the pizza slice from your hands. “I was eating that,” you whisper, your eyes dropping to his mouth. “I have something better,” he teases, before pressing his lips to yours.

Laying on the floor amidst the soft blankets and pillows, cradled against Bucky’s chest you watch the rain drops pitter patter against the sky light above you, the lights from the city dancing along the dark walls. The low rumble of distant thunder echoes through the quiet space as you trace small patterns along his bare skin.

“I love summer thunderstorms.” Bucky hums in agreement, his eyes closed and his head resting against one arm while the other holds you close. “Do you think we should tell my grandma our idea?” Bucky’s question catches you off guard and for a second, you’re unsure of what to say. “Well. I think your idea of doing our research and talking to some friends, like Sam, is a good way to start. Maybe after we have a more solid plan we can sit down and show her everything.”

He’s quiet for a few moments, the sound of his breathing and the city below all you hear now that the rain has stopped. “That seems smart. Sam will probably be a big help since he opened the bar at the beginning of the year. And I know he has some other friends in the restaurant business too.” You prop your head up on your elbow and he turns to face you. “Good idea! I like it,” you say, tracing over the stubble on his jaw.

Grabbing your waist, he rolls over and sits you on top of him, the blanket falling from your shoulders. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” You gently roll your hips against him, smiling softly. “Oh Bucky.” The words fall from your lips with a quiet tenderness and the world falls away with every brush of his fingertips.

@aesthetical-bucky @auro-ora @azurika-writes @bugsbucky @buckys-broody-muffin @bucky-on-my-mind @book-dragon-13 @devynsdiary @eurynome827 @hiddles-rose @hailmary-yramliah @emilylyoness @hawksmagnolia @ikaris-whore @itsunclebucky @imgaril-lindru @jhangelface0523 @jewels2876 @loricameback @littledarlinhavefaithinme @littleredstarfish @mushyjellybeans @marvelandotherfandomimagines @marvelgirl7 @nano--raptor @randomfandompenguin @sallycanwait68 @softpeachbarnes @scarletsoldierrr @the-wayward-robot @when-the-hell-is-bucky @throwmyheartawayagain @flyawaybay @amandatar-06 @nd1998sc @captainchrisstan @vherriepie @godofplumsandthunder​ @fire-flv @jamesbarnesappreciationclub @irishflutiegirl​ @rinthehufflepuff​ @moonybarnes​ @nordlysinthewoods​ @inflxmes @lauratang​ @my-favorite-fics-and-imagines​ @buchanansebba​ @addikted-2-dopamine​

[calleo-bricriu]

Me: Has drafts. Also me: Has replies already written in my head. ALSO ME: “Typing is hard...”

In my defense, I’m in the home stretch of closing on a house and have to start actually working out and executing the steps to get all my shit packed up and moved from this place--I still have shit from when we bought the house in 2004 that STILL ISN’T UNPACKED, it’s mostly old computer games and I’ll probably just leave it to be finally trashed, but there’s like 5 huge boxes of it in the closet.

The house in question is an amazing little thing built in 1879 and the most work I’ll have to do on it:

1. Wait for squirrel in the garage soffits to have her babies grow up and leave, then seal the hole.

2. Strip the goddamned white paint off of all the interior wood trim; it’s the original wood trim, there’s a place for parlor doors (though they’re long gone). I just...the original woodwork is gorgeous, the exterior facing parts of the doors still have it, they’d a deep mahogany with wonderful grain. They’re the original doors from 1879 that have just been fitted with more modern deadbolts but still have the original knobs with skeleton key holes (long since blocked off because security).

3. P A I N T. I hate neutrals. I hate neutrals and, of course, when people flip a house they try to paint it in neutrals so it has a broader appeal and so potential buyers can more easily see their stuff in there, but the only thing worse than rental beige is rental tan. Gotta get some damn color in there. It might not be a big old Victorian house but it’s a Victorian house. The interior and exterior should be as obnoxiously bright as possible.

4. Get the roof redone because I know I have the money for it not, I don’t know that I’ll have it in 5-7 years.

5. Consider residing; it has white vinyl, and vinyl can be painted but it doesn’t last terribly long. Might just have it painted though. I don’t want a boring ass white house when the big rental next door is bright blue. Another roof situation, I have the money now.

6. Fix the garage door opener; it works but the chain is off the track so it doesn’t actually lift the door. 7. Probably replace the furnace and water heater; there’s nothing wrong with them but they are  from 1996, and new ones would be way more efficient.

8. Uh...furniture. All I’m taking with me is the stuff in my office and the bed I sleep in. Probably gonna need more than that.

9. Make the call on whether I want to have an electrician put in 220 volt stuff for an electric dryer or be okay with using the as feed up to that little room. Probably will just use the gas feed as it’s there. Discovered the unplugged thing on the floor in that room goes to underfloor heating meant to be used in the winter as it’s just a 3 season porch so it gets cold.

10. Be forever amazed that the original electrical wiring is still present (though largely spliced into modern wiring save for the light coming down from the ceiling in the closet--you can see the original, still insulated cord clearly--and into dining room which will be probably filled with reptiles, AND that it works and has been inspected by an actual electrician and deemed safe. 100amp breaker, but that’s not so bad, it’s a 150 breaker here and nothing ever blows.

11. ...smoke alarms and a CO alarm, as there are none, which is fine, nobody has been living there for the two-ish years the guy was rennovating it.

12. Fix the one glass pane that’s missing in the bedroom; storm window is still present and not broken/cracked but one really should have double panes windows here.

13. Oh yeah, and curtains.

14. Getting the second door that’s painted shut opened back up, the stupid white paint stripped form it, and getting a modern deadbolt put in so it’s a usable, safe door to be able to open. It’s the side door to what was the parlor and is now the living room.

15. Possibly look at where the parlor door was after having the paint stripped and see if the pockets are still present; if they are, see about getting replica doors to match the existing ones put in. Who wouldn’t want to be able to dramatically open parlor doors or tell someone to step into their parlor?

Now you get pics I took while I was there for the home inspection!

The new LED lightbulb put into a fixture from 1879:

Big kitchen, fuckton of storage, two flour bins by the stove; I love flour bins, the house I grew up in had them as did my grandparents’ houses. As long as you clean them out thoroughly when they’re empty they’re great!

📷

The exterior of the side parlor door that's painted shut.

The front door (the interior side is painted white). Original knob and skeleton key lock from when the house was built.

This house survived being a cheap, rundown student rental for nearly 40 years and it still has so much of its original stuff.

The stairs to the basement and crawlspace that looks like something out of a horror movie, so naturally I love it.

This is directly inside the crawlspace. It's absolutely perfect for storing potatoes, root vegetables, and squash--and for putting jars of stuff to ferment. It's a good 10 degrees colder than the rest of the area and is meant to be used for exactly what I just mentioned. I love that it's still there.

Also here's the entrance to the crawlspace.

...and the crawlspace. The tiny 'basement' is just a room with a few shelves I need to replace as they were using untreated plywood in the metal frame and most of it is moldy or starting to rot because untreated. Otherwise all that's in there is the furnace and water heater. The furnace has some open drain ports and I may put a humidifier down there to run 24/7 because it is, as most basements that aren't fully finished around here, a bit damp.

TL;DR: I may be largely MIA or not as quick to respond as I usually am because I’ll be legit running around like a lunatic moving all my stuff, setting up my new old house (MINE, ONLY MINE, no ex, no other people, JUST. ME. I loved living alone before I got married, and always thought I’d be happier still living alone even while married, which may be a sign that it was a bad decision, but I really just like living alone with a bunch of animals.

Also I've never seen a house that has an attic only accessible from the outside and using a ladder but that's what we have here; there's a big panel that I thought was just a vent that's really a...door.

The back yard is huge, already fenced, has a fire pit, has no fucking grass either, it's all native wild plants with some grape vines in a few areas; big mature ones too.

The front yard also has no grass, which, again, great, I'd planned to tear out any lawn at the house I got anyway. Front yard is still a bit bare so I may just coat it with clover. The only thing I'll have to mow is the boulevard and I can do that with a manual mower or be the extra strange neighbor and use a scythe--and yes I have one, I took it from my grandpa's barn after he died. They also planted a ton of ferns in the front yard for some reason, but I like ferns so they can stay. Oh and there's an entire workshop behind the garage which means I still will have an inside place to keep making wands.

[imissjoongsmullet]

Too Far and Then Some

Pairing: Bang Chan x reader

Genre: smut

Summary: The sequel to Too Far. You and Bang Chan have continued your sexy shenanigans as fuck buddies. You’re still recovering from another wild night with him when he starts sexting you... while you’re at work.

Part 1

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Warnings: graphic sexual content (duh), swearing, fuck buddies, oral sex, cumshot, masturbation, phone sex, sexting, unsolicited dick pics, sex in a public space, degradation, praise and I think that’s about it?? I never know what to put here honestly...

Word Count: 5K

Author’s Note: well well well, I couldn’t leave this one alone now could I? This is part 2 in what will probably end up being a 5 part series because as I’ve said before I HAVE NO CHILL anyways, this was my first time trying to write out phone sex, it was a bit of a challenge but I hope you enjoy ♡ ♡ ♡

►

"Fuck," his voice vibrates against your ear as his hips snap into you from behind. You have one arm out on the windowpane before you but he's got the other locked behind your back, making you cry out in pain and pleasure with every thrust. You'd been a bit too bratty for his liking before, when you'd pulled your lips off of his dick moments before he could cum just so he would punish you good.

The night sky over the city is beautiful tonight but you barely notice. He'd fucked you against many a hotel room window since the first time you two hooked up that one night and decided not to stop. You messed around all over the place but you'd made a habit out of getting a hotel room on weekends, so he could give you 'a proper fucking'. He preferred it when you were loud anyways and the park, cinema and public toilets just didn't allow for that to happen. Tonight alone, he'd fucked you in the shower, eaten you out on the floor/the bed and was now leading you to your fourth orgasm of the night.

You’d been completely mistaken before; you absolutely fucked with people like Christopher Bang. You adored fucking Christopher Bang, couldn't get enough of his fists in your hair, his tongue in your mouth, his dick in your whatever hole he preferred that day. Yes, he was obnoxious and a little full of himself, but he knew how to treat a lady as dirty as you.

"Cry for me baby," he pants as his index finger comes around to rub your clit.

You shudder under the sudden stimulation and your voice fills the room. You look down at the people below who had no idea, who, if they only looked up would get a free show from the third floor window.

A hand takes your chin and turns your face. He looks as fucked out as you undoubtedly do; sweaty and hazy, every pore in him screaming for more of you. He kisses you sloppily, tasting himself on your tongue.

The build-up of his hard cock sliding in and out of you, his middle finger rubbing merciless little circles against your core and his ragged pants in your mouth push you to your edge.

You let out a muffled cry, trying to let him know you're about to explode. He growls into you in return and let's go of your chin, halting his movements.

"What are you—" you manage to say before you whine out suddenly at the sensation of him pulling out from you. He turns you around against the glass, pressing you into it. His fingers link into yours and his brings both your hands up on either side of your head on the glass.

"You've had your fun tonight," he murmurs against your lips, "three times already."

"Jealous?" you shoot back.

He smirks and his eyes go dark as one of his hands moves down in between the two of you. He palms his dick and starts to pump himself slowly, letting him slide over your very sensitive folds. Your breath hitches at the touch.

You hate him; you really do but you're too far gone to struggle much. You hate how weak you are for him, hate how you're already aching for him to fill you up again, for him to give you your release the way only he could. You'd do anything for that release. He was so deliciously bad to you. He satisfied your longing and made it hurt so good. He was so wrong in all the right ways and you just loved to hate him for it.

"If you want more, you going to have to work for it, baby girl," he says, relishing the struggle in your features, "on your knees."

You move down in front of him. His hands untangle from yours and one of them comes to stroke your hair softly.

"That's it," he coos, "now be a good girl and blow me."

You taste yourself all over his cock, sweet and slick. Your hand steady at it's base, your tongue slithers down the sides of his length a few times and you hear him take in a breath. You stroke him slowly as you kiss his tip, letting your saliva drip down all over him before finally taking him in.

You feel him respond to you, his dick pulsing in your mouth, his fingers curling in your hair, his breath stuck in his throat. When the first wave of pleasure has rolled over he murmurs down at you, “that’s right, baby.”

You’re bobbing up and down, trying to keep your tongue busy around him as you go while your hand still works around the base.

“Look at me,” he orders, yanking at your hair. He stares down at you dazedly, mouth agape and eyes set on yours, “fuck you’re so good at this,” he groans, never breaking eye contact, “so good, baby,” and he starts bucking into you a little.

You adjust yourself in front of him so you can take him in better. You’ve gotten more used to the size of him, but even now, can’t comfortably take all of him in at once. Luckily, you’ve found other ways to stimulate him. Your free hand massages his thigh, moving in circles and slowly making its way to his crotch. When your finger reaches under his balls to softly rub the small strip of skin there, his whole being tenses and you know he’s close.

He lets out a few more curses above you and you know he’s snapping. The fist in your hair tightens and his hips buck into you madly. You choke around him as his tip hits the back of your throat; a feeling you’ve gotten very familiar with in the past few weeks.

“Let me fuck that pretty little mouth,” he slurs above you, hips going wild.

You can’t breathe and your mind goes blank and your throat hurts but all it’s doing is making you wetter for him. He’s panting hard and you know he’s close but before he can release he pulls out abruptly. His hand wraps around his dick and pumps erratically while the hand in your hair keeps you locked in place. With a final groan he reaches his limit. He holds you still as white strings of cum hit you, covering your face and chest, all the while you’re still trying to catch your breath from have him ram your throat.

When you finally look back up at him you can’t help but revel at how gorgeous he looks. He gets down and close, hovering over you, making you fall back against the cold glass.

“Such a good girl,” he says before claiming your cum-coated lips. Without warning, two of his fingers enter you and you moan into the kiss. You’re already close and he knows it. You’ve been close all this time and all you want is for him to finish you off. His other hand busies itself at your breast, squeezing and pinching, while his lips suck at your swollen mouth. When he pulls away from the kiss he’s smirking at the way your eyes are begging for more.

“What’s that, sweetheart?” he asks and you fold at once. You don’t want any more games tonight; you just want release.

“More,” you whine, fingers reaching out weakly, “please more.”

His head dives down between your legs and joins his fingers in pleasuring you. His tongue flicks against your clit in time with the digits that pump in and out of you. When they curl upward you cry out loudly. He’s hitting you right, over and over and over and, finally, your orgasm takes over.

You can barely move. Your chest heaves up and down as you watch him walk across the room to get tissues. He kneels down with you and cleans you off, looking smug as shit and if you had the energy, you’d punch him in the shoulder. But then he picks you up and lays you down on the bed gently, getting in next to you.

“Didn’t you have somewhere to be early tomorrow morning?” you say when he starts pulling the sheets over the both of you.

“It’s fine,” he replies, getting cozy beside you, “I’ll wake up before sunup.”

You want to protest but he’s already leaning over to turn off the light.

“You sleep long okay?” he adds in the fresh darkness, “don’t worry about me, I’ve set an alarm. I’ll try not to be loud.”

You feel him twist around in the sheets for a few minutes before he finally falls still, his breathing evening out.

He usually left after you were done because of his busy schedule and the fact that he couldn’t be seen exiting this type of hotel. Needless to say you were a little worried; you didn’t want him to get into any trouble because of you. Then again, it was nice to not have to sleep alone after a night like this.

Not that you need him here; you’re perfectly happy with the way your relationship — or lack thereof — has turned out. As depressing as it sounds, you’ve given up on love a long time ago; things are simply easier without it. And he? Well, he’d be in big trouble with his company if it turned out he had a girlfriend, so it hadn’t been hard to settle into this little arrangement; it was a perfect, really.

There’s movement in the sheets and a warm arm snakes around your waist. You’re startled but you don’t move. You feel his breath on your neck and know he’s right behind you. You suppose its nice, but you’re drowsy so you press your eyes shut and try to get some sleep.

When you wake again the room is bright with sunlight beaming in through the large windows and you’re alone once again. There’s no trace of him anywhere; it’s like he was never there. The aching in your body reveals otherwise, of course. In the shower, you run your hands over the sore muscles, the love bites and the bruises he was responsible for, replaying memories made the night before in this very room. He’d had you pressed up against the shower wall, finger-fucking you, he’d used the massage function of the shower head on you, relishing how you squirmed as the water shot up against your pussy. He’d held the thing locked between the two of you, pressed  against your clit as he fucked you into the floor. You remembered his hot breaths echoing around the room, as well as your desperate moaning. God, you were never this desperate for anyone. He unlocked a piece of you you never thought you had in you and you were more and more glad for it to exist.

You leave the hotel room, covered in a large black hoodie. Thankfully, you have the day off until well into the afternoon.

You spend most of the day lazing around at home on the couch because your body is still quite sore. You watch some Netflix as you lie covered with pillows and blankets, slipping in and out of sleep until your alarm lets you know to get dressed for work.

Unlike Chan, you’re a total nobody at the entertainment company, which leaves you with more free time but also means you don't make nearly enough money to sustain yourself, which is why you’ve started bar tending on the side.

It wasn’t the best job but you enjoyed it. You liked watching customers’ lives play out in front of you as they transformed under the power of alcohol. You’d witnessed blossoming friendships, awkward moments, hookups, breakups and fights, sometimes even all in the same night; it was great fun.

Your phone buzzes as you enter the still empty bar but you ignore it because your boss is already greeting you. You greet back and help him put the chairs in place all over the room. Then you’re sent to set up the bar area while he deals with a late supplier. Once behind the counter you take out your phone, eyes going wide when you swipe open the message.

He’s shirtless and glistening with sweat. His shirt hangs over his shoulder like a towel, failing to cover his perfectly toned upper body; the body that had made you cum four times the night before. He was looking into the camera with those stupid bedroom eyes of his, smiling smugly and the text under the picture reads:

just finished the recording… like what you see?

He’s even added a kissy-face emoji, which probably annoys you even more than the picture itself. No. What annoys you the most is that he’s probably aware he’s annoying you and is probably loving every bit of the process.

You roll your eyes and put away your phone; you’re not feeding his ego with a response. Instead, you wipe the counter and set up for the first customers.

It’s a bit of a slow evening. Groups of people trickle in here and there but the real buzz will only start at around 11pm, which is still a couple of hours away. You pour beers, wash some glasses, stare at the trio of girls huddled together in a corner, wonder what they’re so excited about, do some more washing, wipe the counter, make cocktails for the stupidly clingy couple that just walked in, wipe the counter again cause you made a mess with the cocktails, gaze at the clock for a full 5 minutes, drink some water, welcome your coworker who helps out during the later hours, make some mojitos for a pair of hipster-looking guys, wash more glasses and all the while manage not to open your phone and look at the picture again. You’re quite proud of yourself. Somewhere in the night you even forget it exists so that when your phone buzzes again, you don’t think anything of it. You scan the room to see you’re not needed anywhere and unlock your phone only to drop it onto the floor with a shriek.

“You okay there?” your coworker calls from the other side of the room.

“Yes!” you yell back, a bit too loud before diving behind the counter to pick up your phone.

Your screen isn’t cracked, which is good but you’re worried about what you’ll see when you reactivate it. You hover protectively over the device, even though there’s no one that could possibly see, and click it back on.

Instantly, the new picture he’s sent you graces the screen. This time he’s pointed the camera lower. You thank the heavens he’s still wearing underwear but even then, the shape of his hard cock is very prominent. The message reads:

thinking about last night...

“Hey!” a cold voice calls.

You jump a little and quickly turn around to see a tall man with slicked-back hair. He looks about ready to complain to your superior so you dash up, trying to hide how hot your whole body feels at this moment.

The man orders some hard liquor and looks at you with disdain the entire time you’re serving him. When he’s finally gone you turn to your coworker, signaling you’re taking a bathroom break.

You go back to the message, trying not to get distracted by the very distracting picture, and type up a response.

What do you think you’re doing? I’m at work!

His reply comes almost at once.

So? Me too.

You can’t believe him.

What?? Where are you?

In the changing rooms. But I can try to find some place more private for you if you’d like.

You’re out of your mind put some clothes on!!!

Another picture pops up. This time, he’s got his hand palming his length through the fabric. There’s a tiny dark spot where you know his precum has started leaking.

Come on baby girl, show me a little something.

You don’t understand where he gets the confidence from. There’s no way he’s alone in that changing room and he’s literally about to start fucking himself. With the way things are going he’s probably moments away from sending actual dick pics. You let out a groan, mad at him for his reckless behavior, mad at him for doing this while you’re at work and mad at yourself for getting turned on by the whole thing. You’re squeezing your legs together, trying to ignore the fact that your panties are wet.

You turn on your camera and point it at your face. You stick up your middle finger, snap the picture, hit send and leave the bathroom, putting your phone in your back pocket.

The bar seems to have doubled in customers in the few minutes you were gone. Good, you think; you can use the distraction. Just as you reach the bar, your ass vibrates. You make a face that has your coworker eye you apprehensively but you wave it away like it’s nothing. When no one’s looking you open up your phone to another message from him.

What are you planning to do with that finger?

He’s put a fucking winking emoji at the end. You might actually end up murdering him.

You type back hurriedly for him to fuck off and then shove the phone back in your pocket, turning around to the row of customers in front of you.

While your coworker tends the floor, you stick to the bar, making drink after drink, ignoring the buzzing of your phone. It’s a feeble attempt though because all you can think about are the pictures he’s sent you, as well as the messages that came with them. It takes you everything in you not to abandon your responsibilities and give in to his advances but you won’t. You refuse to give him that pleasure. You try to make small talk with customers sitting at the bar to distract yourself, which works, sort of.

“You’re moving abroad in a few days? Fuck, congratulations!”

“Your girlfriend just broke up with you? Sorry to hear it but let me tell you, romantic relationships are a lie mate.”

“You’re debating on getting a dog? Hell yeah! Get you one of them big and fluffy ones!”

“You just got fired? That sucks. Though maybe you’ll find something even better next, you never know.”

Every now and again you cave and look at the messages on your phone. Though no new pictures come, the incoming texts are every bit as dirty.

Come out and play baby girl

My cock is waiting for you

Your boss won’t miss you while I fuck you with just my voice through the phone

You know that’s what you want

God I wanna see that pretty pussy again

Are you slowly losing your mind? Yes. Are you going to give in to his little game? Absolutely not.

Probably not.

By 1am, the busiest period is over and you’re beginning to crack. You’ve been wet for him for hours now and the desire for release is getting overbearing. You heave a sigh and text him back at last:

Do you ever give up?

You see he’s typing up a response but then the dots at the bottom of the screen disappear. You poor a couple more beers and as you hand them to the customer, your phone starts ringing. You quickly twist round and squat down so no one can see you and pick up.

“What on earth do you think you’re doing calling me?”

“You know exactly what I’m doing.” His voice is dark and gravelly.

“Where are you?”

“I’m in bed. We got back to the dorms a minute ago.”

You run a hand through your hair. “Listen up, asshole. I’m still at work so you better leave me alo—”

“Get somewhere private,” he interrupts, “now.”

The way he commands you sends a chill down your spine and for a moment you’re actually considering it, but in the end you reply, “I’m not about to get fired for your entertainment.”

You can almost feel him smirking on the other side of the conversation. “Don’t act as if you don’t want this, sweetheart,” he murmurs, “you’re a filthy little girl, I know it all too well. You can’t hide from me.” He lets out a soft groan, letting you know he’s already started without you.

“I fucking hate you,” you sigh, peering over the counter to see where your coworker is at.

“I know,” he breathes back, a hint of amusement in his tone.

You call over your coworker, telling them you’ve got an important call from your mom to take. Once you’ve got the okay, you make your way to the back of the room where an iron spiral staircase leads to a mezzanine level. This space is usually closed off to customers and mostly reserved for private parties. There are tables with chairs on them all around the room but you walk over to the table on the right side. It has a nice cushioned bench sitting against the wall for you to sit on. You plug your earphones into your phone and sit down, your whole body burning with a mix of excitement and fear. This was no private room with a lock, this was an open space. You could still hear the many customers downstairs conversing and laughing over the background music.

“You there baby?” his voice pulls you out of your daze.

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this.”

“Shut up,” he says harshly, clearly out of patience, “don’t pretend you’re not dripping for me right now.” He lets out another heavy breath. “Show me.”

The next moment your phone screen lights up and you can see his room. He’s lying on his bed, camera angled at his crotch. The boxers haven’t come off yet but his dick has popped out, standing proud and tall.

You take a deep breath and turn on your camera as well. You’re lit up by the soft, warm light of a wall lamp. From your face, you move the camera down to show your collarbone, where a dark spot from the night before sat. You pulled aside the collar of your button-up shirt, revealing more of your cleavage. You hear how his breathing changes under your power and smile. You close your collar back up all the way, chuckling softly.

It’s quiet for a moment but then he says, “baby girl. You know what happens when you disobey me.”

“Yes,” you reply, moving the camera to your still smiling face.

“Did I not ask you to show me your body?”

“Yes,” you smirk.

He changes to the front-facing camera, showing his face. He looks at you, amused for a second. His tongue darts out and he licks his bottom lip in thought.

“Fine,” he says finally and his face falls into a scowl, “I suppose I’ll look for a more obedient girl then.”

The words sting more than you thought they would but perhaps that’s because you’re stupidly turned on.

“You know there’s plenty of girls who’d love nothing more than to pleasure me. Girls who know how to be good.”

Your smile has completely vanished now.

“I could have someone riding this dick in five minutes with just a quick phone call.”

Your blood starts to boil.

“So if you’re gonna be difficult—”

“No,” you interrupt before he can end the call.

“No what?” he demands.

“No don’t call someone else,” you answer, aware that he’s once again got you where he wants you.

“Why not?” he goes on, his face hard as stone still.

You feel so small for him. “I want to make you feel good.”

“You want to make me feel good?” he coos back at you and you nod, “are you gonna be a good girl then?”

You nod once more.

“I wanna hear it, baby girl.”

“Yes,” you let out in the tiniest voice, “I’ll be good I promise.”

He stares at you through the camera for a few seconds and your heart is racing, but then finally he agrees.

“Then take off your shirt.”

You move the camera down again and start unbuttoning your white work shirt, revealing a pink, lacy bra. You squeeze into your breast, knowing that’s what he’d be doing if he were there. He hums in approval as you make your way down until the shirt is open all the way.

“Show me your tits.”

You move aside your bra and before you’ve even taken out your boob he’s making more commands.

“Play with your nipple,” he breathes, “pinch it.” He flips his camera again so your phone screen now shows him stroking his hard cock.

You do as he says, sighing out at the sensation it sends down to your already needy core. Your fingers play with your nipple, reacting to his every instruction.

“Fuck,” he groans abruptly, “take off your pants. I need to see your pussy.”

His words set your body aflame. You’re once again very aware of where you are. If anyone found you here, boobs out, pantless you’d be in a world of trouble; not to mention you’d never be able to show your face in this bar again.

You let out the smallest whine, not knowing what to do.

He tuts his lips. “I thought you were going to be good today,” he says, still slowly pumping his length, “show me that wet pussy of yours baby,”

He was right, you were drenched at this point, which reminded you of how bad you wanted to touch yourself.

You set down the phone, propping it up against the chair that was on the table, and started unbuttoning your jeans. You shimmied out of them quickly but left your thong on for now because you knew he liked it and it made you feel more secure in the situation.

“Show me,” his voice called and you obeyed, taking the phone and pointing it towards your wet center. You hear his breath hitch in your ears. This spurs you on to run a finger up and down the fabric. The sensation of finally being touched is immense and you can’t keep in a moan.

“Good girl,” he says, “all wet for me.”

You blush but can’t stop yourself from running your fingers up and down your center. 

“I bet you wish those were my fingers, huh baby?” he says.

You only whine in response.

“You want my fingers stroking you up and down like that?”

You utter a breathy yes.

“You want me to pull those panties to the side?”

“Yes,” you reply, doing just as he says.

“You want my fingers fucking you nice and deep?”

“Fuck, yes,” you whisper, sticking two fingers in yourself at once.

On the other side of the phone, he groans in time with your moan.

“You’re a dirty little whore, aren’t you?” he says, his voice sounding like he’s murmuring directly into your ears, “you’re making a mess, fuck.” He’s started pumping himself with a bit more fervor now.

You moan out his name as you move your fingers in and out fast, unable to hold back any longer. The lewd, wet noises of your pleasure fill the air around you. 

“Yeah,” he groans, “tell me, who do you belong to?”

“You,” you reply at once, “I’m yours.”

“You’re my dirty little whore,” he goes on in pants, his hand moving faster and faster around his dick.

“Yes,” you moan, “I’m your whore, I’m yours, I’m—” you lose your train of thought as your pleasure heightens but he’s not stopping.

“Fuck yourself for me baby, fuck yourself like the slut you are, fuck—”

You let your thumb rub your clit in response, wanting to be whatever he wants you to be. Your moans grow louder and you completely forget where you were. All you know is him and his dick and your fingers and your pleasure.

“Cum for me baby,” he pants, “I wanna watch that pussy clench.”

Those words are too much. You gasp out as your orgasm hits you like a truck, then rolling over you in delicious waves. You grind your hips into your hand through it all until you hear his voice.

“Fuck, baby, fuck.”

You pull out your fingers and angle the phone so as to better show him what he’s done to you.

He continues slurring curses into your ears as he reaches his own high, strings of cum shooting out of him and landing on belly and torso.

It takes more than a moment for the both of you to come to. You kind of feel like taking a nap but then a loud crashing noise sounds from down below and you find yourself back in the bar.

“Shit.”

“You can say that again,” he chuckles, pulling his boxers back over his length.

“No,” you shake your head, “I need to go back to work, dumbass.” It sounded like someone had just broken a glass.

“Alright,” he replies, before letting out a yawn, “well, I’m gonna go to bed then.”

“Okay bye,” you say, already getting back into your pants. You hear the beep that indicates the end of the call and pull out your earphones.

Your coworker is cleaning up broken pieces of glass off the ground when you come back down.

“What took you so long?” she says affronted, but upon seeing your flushed face immediately follows up with, “I mean I hope it wasn’t anything too serious it’s just that it’s really hectic here and—”

“I’m fine,” you reply, feeling a tad guilty, “I’m sorry it took so long. Let me help.”

So you’d gotten away with it. Despite the slight guilt, the thought of what you’d just done made you feel disgustingly good.

You still definitely hated Christopher Bang for talking you into the whole thing though, and the fact that he always knew how to break you was starting to irk you more and more.

Perhaps it was time for you to turn the tables around?

[madmadmilk]

One After The One PART 1 | Tom Holland x Reader

Tinder BIO | soft TEASER | PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | >>

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: What does one in a million even mean? Does it mean you’re the first of many or the fucking last? Does it mean that you’re somewhere in the middle? And what happens to the poor baby who ends up being the 999,999th one? Or worse, the one after The One? There ought to be some kind of prize for second to last, and second runner up. Especially when being #2 is your specific talent.

Warnings: Cursing, Suspicion, some Hard to Swallow Pills, and a million blurry pics

Word Count: 6.7K swipes left

Special Shoutout: Thank you @hypnotized-so-mesmerized for being a BETA for this chapter and for you lovely input!

-

“I can’t fucking believe you’ve got me fifth wheeling for this….” you sigh, as you blow strands of your hair away from your face. You walk briskly atop of the shifting sand behind your leggy friend.

All 5 foot 10 inches of her shakes with laughter as she watches you trip over yourself. She shrugs, “The more the merrier?”

You roll your eyes, resigning to a smile as she waves back for your hand to hold. You reach out and accept her offer loosely, allowing yourself to be pulled along.

“Come on, the boys are waiting.”

Right.

You watch the festival lights cast a warm glow at the edges of her silhouette. She smiles at you, bronzed, beautiful–– taken.

Over the past year, all your best friends started fucking dating each other.

Leaving you single, alone, and second best.

It wasn’t weird, it wasn’t unnatural–– but it quite literally happened over night. “This” is just your “new normal.”

You all still hung out, together, mismatched or separately. Nothing has stopped them from asking you to hang out, but there are times where you feel… The Line.

It was Common Sense tingling and telling you that certain occasions were more of a “date-night” rather than friendly get together. And the last thing you wanted to be was a cockblock to your own goddamn friends.

Like tonight, you were tagging along to the late-night-end-of-the-summer beach bar hop bash, with your two pairs of your closest friends. Sam and Ry, short for Ryan. And Liza and K, short for Erik.

Then there’s you, of course.

The three boys were waiting with drinks in hand, while you and Liza took your sweet time climbing the sandy stairs. This was the usual ritual, but you stood alone when you reached the guys. They paired off, easily, naturally, sweetly.

The vibrating radio-centric music drowned out the sounds of the lapping ocean, the conversation you walked into was near unintelligible, and the crowd was excited about something.

God, I wish that were me.

There wasn’t anything wrong with going to this year’s beach bash, as you go to it as a group every year–– it’s just that this time they were holding hands and you were holding a drink. It’s more sour than you’d like.

You were fine coming out “alone,” but who wants to be alone?

You greet one another with warm hugs and Liza immediately dives into a rant about officially moving in with K, and about how he doesn’t wanna mix his laundry with hers–– all those new domestic nuances. 

Sam rolls his eyes and exclaims, “Ry is the same fucking way–– like, it’s just cloth, babe.”

“Easy for you to say when all you wear is black––“ Ry retorts, pushing his boyfriend’s shoulder. 

Everyone starts with a snickering laugh, clinking beer bottles and recanting similar experiences.

Tonight you just don’t feel like it.

Living alone and sleeping alone is one of your specific talents. It’s been nice to have your own fucking bed, your own fucking room, your own fucking space–– all of it to just BE your own fucking self, by your fucking self. You’ve been this way for twenty-odd years now (kind of, you know what i mean). Love and friends are welcome to hang out, but at the end of the day, the place is all yours. And yours alone. That’s what home means to you.

“–– But living together hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would be,” Liza smacks her lips, looking down in short embarrassment. She leans back against K, “There are good things too.”

Sam is quick to point out their PDA, and you take another sip of your drink. You would have spoken up to contribute about your own experiences, once upon a time. But that’s a sore topic you’re not willing to relive on this breezy night.

Instead, you laugh along, crossing your arms while propping your elbow on the bar. You’ll let tonight be as rosy as it can be with no time to dwell. Your drink is near empty, consumed faster than you remember. Someone taps your shoulder.

“Hey.”

You blink dryly, resurfacing. “Hm?”

K is rubbing the side of your arm, those hazel eyes darkened in the low light. His dark brows were raised high, “You good?”

“Yeah, yeah. Of course,” you answer easily. You hold up your drink, making a smug face and down it to his bemusement. You shake the empty bottle, setting it back on the table. “Always good.”

He nods slowly, looking over at the other three still gossiping amongst themselves. You couldn’t hear their conversation, but you can only imagining Sam and Liza were poking at each other by the way that Ry was smiling.

K swings his head back to you, “Wanna dance?”

“Sure.”

And you follow him, aware that, no, he didn’t want to dance. He wanted to talk.

You walk away with him, unnoticed by the others and tracing your finger across a brick wall. He stops, leaning against it and you do too. Looking over him, neat clothes and nervous face, you raise a brow.

“Sorry––“ he starts slowly, scratching the back of his neck.

“For what?” You laugh, scrunching your brows as you nod your head to the muffled music.

“This. It’s weird, right? Us. All of us, dating. That last year we were the ones single and you were––“ he sighs, pulling his lip to the side, “Last year was totally different. And now we’re all here, still together. Together-together.”

“Mhm, it was going to happen sooner or later,” you muse. K has loved Liza since Day One. And you and him have both known it, and what it means to him now. His dreams become reality every second that passes.

“Shut up,” he swats at your arm. You see the curl of his smile behind the embarrassment, “Nah. No. But this must be awkward for you, huh?”

You shrug. “Little bit. I’ll get over it, you guys are still my friends.”

His eyes search yours for the real truth. They were all so worried that them coupling up would ruin something, between themselves and with you. Ha. You told they they were stupid for thinking that. You believe in seizing the opportunities, in taking leaps and following your partner around the world–– in theory, at least.

They confided in you individually and you told them all the same thing. Tailored to their personalities, but in the same conceptual vein. 

“If it works, it works. If it doesn’t, then at least you tried and you don't have to spend another day wondering ‘what if..?’”

And they bought it. Now, that being said, you already knew that they all fucking liked each other so–– push her and push him and push him and him, and things will fall into place.

It’s just that… the new thing is that you’re the one out out of the loop. You used to be the first to know but now you’re last to find out. And that is strange.

You’re not their number 1 anymore. And there’s nothing you can say about it.

“You’re still my best friend, got it?” K leans his shoulder on yours and you rest yourself against him too. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

Today, but not tomorrow.

It’s hard not to be bitter, and it’s horrible that there’s no remedy for it. FOMO is a new-age disease, after all. No science to sort it out yet, no justification to satiate it.

“So…. You talkin’ to anyone? Looking?” He asks too casually for a question he knew you hated. He bumps elbows with you and shake along with it.

“Nope,” your mouth pops at the “p.” 

He raises his brows again, and argh you hate that. There was always someone you were talking to, or someone you’ve been with. But not these days. These days you felt too tired to be someone’s ideal anything. 

“There are some cute guys around, looking at you,” his eyes twinkle a little too brightly for a straight guy with horrible taste. (Facts backed up by Sam, Ry, Liza, AND personal experience) “Plenty of fish, yeah?”

You shake your head, not interested. Sex could come and go, infatuation could come and go–– but you’re kinda tired of the short stuff.  But not exactly ready for a whole-ass relationship either. You don’t need to explain yourself–– you just know you wouldn’t last the night.

“Not in the mood,” you huff.

“Tonight,” he says suggestively, wiggling his shoulders.

You both laugh, you a little bit dryly. You try to direct his attention back to Liza and their budding romance, as the trio finds you guys again. At first they didn’t immediately stand coupled, Ry handing you a drink and Sam going to talk to K. Liza smoothed out her clothes and you all talked about some new plans. It was an honest good time. Ry spilled his drink on Sam, and complained about the laundry again–– Liza got waaaay too drunk and you and K were holding her in your arms while she staggered like Bambi.

It was nice and warm, and a lot like old times. 

I missed that.

You felt yourself smile and let loose–– not thinking of old ex’s or new flings. Just about the friends before you and how safe they made you feel, and how happy you are to see them happy. That’s love, right?

“Oh my god, look!” someone exclaimed, pointing a finger at the sky. You hear a loud clap.

As the night faded and grew colder, fireworks erupted into the sky with a loud crackle. You guys squealed and ran to the top of a sand dune, tripping and tumbling to see the dying summer sights. The fizzing calmed your calls. It’s funny how loud fiery skies filled you with the same awe every time. How it quieted you and made you feel small.

The couples soon held each other, soft embraces with their necks craned upwards. Their eyes twinkled from bursts of lights, smiling at the sharp crackles of sound.

Tonight was the one of many nights they would be able to spend in each other’s arms, so far away and close to you all at once.

This was the line you were cautious about–– you couldn’t talk to them when they were like this, out of courtesy. Out of honoring their moment.

You stood back, watching their excited faces instead of the bursting sky. You felt it. Not jealousy or bitterness, but the awful choke of curiousity and selfishness. The “what if that were me?”

It’s been a while since you’ve had arms wrap over your shoulders and kissed your hair. Enough time has passed for you to forget what that felt like. Too long? What was that like again?

The finale of fireworks struck across the inky, dark sky. You inhaled the smell of chalky smoke, tasting the salt in the air.  Lights and colors fill your eyes, unblinking.

You suck in your cheeks as it quiets and you can hear the ocean again. 

And you let yourself think, I want that again.

So with a new pulse, you went home and did the only logical thing in finding the next Love of Your Life.

You downloaded Tinder.

-

You avoided “serious” dating and being a “serious” anything to anyone, but seeing that “seriousness” in your friends made you wonder if you could be anything like them. If you were ready to open your heart to the possibility of loving and being loved.

Seriously. Sincerely. No bullshit.

This time.

At least, that’s what you told yourself as you messed around setting up a profile on Tinder. Regretfully spending way too long shuffling through old selfies that were engaging and enticing. You sigh as you pick through the lot, frustrated at the mind games that have already started.

It’s tiring.

And that’s probably why you end up cracking a few days later and end up telling Sam and Ryan. It was a short two word text, “Tinder. Help?” And you got a speedy reply from both of them (even when you knew they were most likely sat right next to each other). They were at your place in less than an hour.

Sam applauds your efforts, but is only there for moral support more or less. He’s an ace at the dating game, but has no patience to explain his ways. 

“Typical,” You and Ry hum, as Sam rifles through your pantry instead.

Ryan, quiet as he is, sat with you and looked through the photos you choose. He broke down the psychology of it all; about the aloofness and whatever–– which you understood. You need to try hard, but not look like you are. Effortlessness, funny, chic, digestible, likeable–– 

“Performative.” He says flatly, “But this is fast and simple.”

And you have to agree, looking at your phone in his hands.

You blink as you reflect.

This is so much easier in fiction, in those movies where people go on a million dates in one week and match with the hottest fucking dudes ever. Where the protagonist has the perfect amount of self-confidence to keep her moving forward, endless chances to mess up and and still get the guy… God, it’s so easy on paper. There’s no dignity to lose. But here? In the “real” world, even on an app you could delete at anytime–– to put yourself out there? Mortifying.

But, at least you’re bored enough to try.

So, what the fuck, right?

“Did you tell Liza and K yet?” 

“No, they would definitely try to set me up with someone real,” you laugh, leaning back on the couch. You wriggle your toes and tilt your head away.

Ry leans back with you with a brow raised, “Isn’t that… the point?”

Yeah, like, true. They have lots of friends they’re always trying to peddle your way, which is cool and all but… it’s a lot harder to pick and choose and ghost someone when you have mutual contacts.

He read the look on your face and nodded slowly, “Got it, got it.” He laughed to himself, perceptive and cautious. He extends his thoughts, “But you gotta tell us if you actually go and meet anyone. K would kill us if you didn’t say anything.”

“I won’t get into any trouble,” you squint, looking away from him mischievously.

“Uh-huh,” Ry affirms plainly as he swipes right on a few cute boys. 

-

Your experience with dating apps was limited–– you made a joke account a while ago and never really did much with it. Then you had a more “real” account that you never tried sincerely with. You had real people you dated at the time–– uhm. But now, now that you’re actually on here looking… it is bleak.

It’s a Saturday night and you’re winding down with a glass of wine swiping through your options. People you actually knew showed up, and you swiped that shit away so fast you almost chucked your phone with it. You flipped through people who looked fake for real, some older dudes, and plenty of people with vibes you didn’t like–– the pool is so wide you almost didn’t know where to start. And you could afford to be picky, sure. It’s just, who knew that “too many options” would actually be a problem.

You spend the next few days idling checking and chatting, not getting any viable catches. You felt like you were just peering into small windows, head in and head out. Nothing caught your attention long enough for you to want to look in further.

You even start poking at things you never wanted to acknowledge as real, like the impact of cheesy bios, and deciphering who was who in group pics, and the thrilling amount of dudes holding up fish.

Pretty wack.

You felt yourself grow tired of it again. The adrenaline was waning, burnt to the stump. Good thing you didn’t try too hard. Pfft.

You sleepily swipe away on your phone, too late into the night. You blink hard as you snuggle into your covers, muttering, 

“Just one more.”

Ah.

>>  check out the whole bio here <<

“T, 23. Friendly, neighborhood romantic,” you whisper to yourself. You crack a small smile.

After countless swipes left, and (1) accidental swipe right, you match with a blurry boy–– super sus, I know. You don’t know how it happened tbh–– there’s nothing to “look” at, but your eyes fell on this one. Maybe because you just watched “Far From Home,” and enjoyed this spidey reference. Or you’re just innately drawn to the word “romantic.” Could be either, easily.

“It’s a match!”

Shit. You mumble, your profile photos floating together. You take a second to look through his meager collection. They were all obscure and blurry and not exactly in the artsy way.

You couldn’t decipher much, only that he had fair skin (?), with dark hair and dark eyes, but even that was questionable. 

You’re pretty sure you matched with a bot or some old dude, or worse, a kid. You can hardly see his face in the pictures, blurry or cropped or covered.

Okay...

Is that his real name? Probably not. Is he actually 23? Doubt it. Is this going to go anywhere? Let’s hope not.

But whatever, it’s the first “match” that has seemed interesting in the past few days, solely on your pickiness. And this random bastards only gets you out of dumb luck.

You rub your eyes, and set down your phone, resigning to your stupidity.

You’ll deal with it in the morning.

Good night.

And the gears were set in motion as you slept.

You had a new message on tinder waiting for you, but you didn’t check the app until much later. You go through your Sunday morning routine, only opening your phone after a light breakfast and stretch. 

“Oh god,” you blink as you catch the red notification. You look around the room, preparing yourself for what could be anything. You take a deep breath and open the chat.

T: Hey

Oh. You stare at it, so bare with no personality to pick at. You wonder if you should even reply, but by the grips of boredom, you do.

You: Hey!

You set your phone down, trying to swallow the short thrill. You walk away for a moment. A reply comes within minutes.

And it’s a goddamn mess.

T: Sorry, i’ve never done this before.

Strike one. You suck in your cheeks. While you’re fairly new at this too, you… don’t know how much time you want to invest it in. Here again, you debate replying back–– but he beats you to it.

T: I’m trying to get over my ex

UHM? Strike two, you almost have to laugh. This is just testing your patience. Your jaw wriggles as you see he has more to say…

T: And you look a lot like her.

Damn. Strike three, he’s out. He’s got to know that would put anyone off, right? Why would you even admit that straight out? T? Come on, man.

You: i’m not sure if that’s a compliment or an insult.

T: it’s an apology now, i didn’t know what to say

You: you could have complimented my killer smile or the pic of me with a dog. Anything but that

T: Right, right. I’m such a dickhead. Sorry, it’s nice to meet you though.

You hold your phone away, debating whether or not you should just delete the entire goddamn thing because this was just too stupid–– but it’s Sunday morning and what do you have left to lose. 

You chew on the side of your lip, deciding to entertain “T,” but don’t spare him any soft words. You’d rather get straight to the point.

You: So… you go by “T?” And don’t have any real pics of your face? Are you even real???

T: Yeah, just private

You: kinda defeats the purpose of putting yourself out there though, right? Lol

T: It’s too easy if i put my face out there

You: oh, ha ha ha. So you’re saying you’re too hot to show your face? Love the confidence dude

And this is where you start actually laughing out loud. You wipe away tears at the side of your eyes, cackling at this display of internet confidence. It’s a tiny piece of amusement from a stranger you have 0 feelings for, and you’re not going to be mean to him… but you’ll definitely poke fun to see how far you can get.

Besides, he’s still replying back right? That’s almost hilarious in itself.

T: Hey, confidence is sexy, right?

You: yeah, more in person than online! 😂 (Laughing emoji)

You take a second to scroll back through his photos, and check to see if he has a link to instagram, twitter, anything. But he doesn’t. You try to pull up any evidence you can–– and at the very least, these blurry pics all look like they’re taken of the same person.

Slight build with dark curled hair–– rippable from any ambiguous online “hot boy” mood board though. 

You’re wary.

You spot a picture with his smile, crinkled eye and lifted lip. You could swear he looked familiar… but maybe that’s because you’ve seen that same white boy/model on Pinterest.

Maybe.

T: wanna meet up and see for yourself?

You: maybe if you show me your face first

T: can’t do that quite yet, but I’d love to keep talking to you

You furrow your brows as you read his words. He would be down to meeting up with you upfront, but hesitates to send you a picture beforehand? That’s definitely a red flag, right? Right?

(Yes. Yes it is.)

You pull yourself back and let out a deep sigh. You’re probably the only person he’s talking to, especially with those purposeful (?) blurry pics and cryptic everything. Ugh.

It’s not playing yourself if you know it’s fake right? You can step out of this at anytime.

You: as long as you can hold my attention :) 

T: I’ll try my very best ✌🏼 (peace sign emoji)

–– and with some very, very loose banter…. you end up exchanging numbers. You’ve put the whole Tinder thing on pause for now–– all four days of it. All for one stranger with no tact.

Unknown Number: hey, this is t (smiley face)

You: pfffft, I’m going to call you Blurry Boy. Since your name obviously isn’t T

BB: that’s fine with me :) mind if i call you darling?

You: ew

BB: o come on. It’s cute

You: please tell me you’re actually 23 or i swear to god I’m going to fucking lose it

BB: I swear 🤞🏼 (fingers crossed emoji)

You: ok. Prove it. Send me a pic of you–– you face or whatever

Ok. That’s a leap. He could rip a picture from anywhere but let’s see how fast he could do it. If it takes too long, then he probably did just rip it from the internet.

And if he makes a mistake and actually sends you a clear pic of himself? Well, that could only be seen as a win.

BB: 

But you are ruthless.

You: ok. Send me another one.

And he could stop if he wanted to.

Only, he doesn’t. In a short moment, he sends another picture.

BB:

Same room, same face, same glasses. I guess you could believe him… for now. No matter how shitty the photos have end up....

But he could also be one of those people with folders full of stock photos… you never know.

But putting paranoia aside, you decide to turn off the heat a lil. You grab your coffee and sit on your couch, sliding into a comfy position. You turn on some YouTube videos on your laptop, watching the first few seconds as you lean your cheek against the couch cushions.

Phew.

You: thanks…. sorry I’m so paranoid. But you truly have the worst pictures of yourself put up there. Potato quality.

BB: nah, i know. I get it. Haha it’s alright, a pretty girl like you needs to protect herself

You: oh BOY that doesn’t make me feel any better 😂(laughing emoji)

BB: fuck, sorry. Ugh that is fuckin creepy. Shit. I’m terrible at texting

You: no, no. It’s alright. Actually, great job with taking those photos so fast. Most people would have taken sooooo much longer. You get a few points for not holding back

BB: babe, i told you. I’m gorgeous. I don’t gotta worry about it 😂😂💕 (laughing emojis)

You: right, right blurry boy. Great job with all those fuzzy ass photos.  🙄 (Eye roll emoji) haha are you really looking for someone out here or…?

BB: sort of. I’m testing out the waters and… you’re really pretty

You have to blink back and roll your eye, you’re unable to digest this conversation as real. They’re flowery words given to you, for sure, but your suspicion is much stronger. Your guard will not let down or be appeased by some blurry ass dude calling you “pretty.”

He replies before you have the chance.

BB: i dont wanna get into the messy details but yeah. Company sounds great right about now

You: yeah, i feel that

It’s a real and valid reply, but it’s a terrible one. It’s so hard for someone to reply back to that–– but you’re testing his perseverance. If he finds something to say back, it might just prove one more thing to you. That he might actually be interested, and someone worth talking to.

BB: sorry i lead with my baggage, I’m a fucking mess

You: *a confident fucking mess

BB: thank you 😇 (angel emoji)

You: don’t worry about it, I’ve seen worse

 You laugh darkly to yourself. I’ve been worse.

BB: hahahaha thanks. Ok. But all that aside… real talk now. Can I ask you about the dog in your photo now?

You hate to admit that your lips curled into a smile, as you hastily type back. 

Your coffee was half drank and cold by now. The YouTube video you were supposed to be watching has moved onto part two. 

You eyes are still scanning your text screen, waiting to see those three bouncing dots at the bottom left hand corner. 

He’s not the worst–– and at most, even if this turns out to be fake, this is just your Sunday morning entertainment. Nothing more and nothing less. These are just insignificant texts that will probably lead to a few lost days, or mediocre sex at best.

So, whatever, right?

-

MONDAY MORNING

BB: good morning! ☀️ (sun emoji)

You: well you sure get up early. Good morning 

BB: Haha, I like to start the week as soon as i can. Do you drink coffee or tea in the morning?

You: coffee most days. You?

BB: i drink tea, darling

You: yeah that’s probably better for you haha. Less expensive too.

BB: mhm, definitely cheaper if you come over and i make you a cup

You: wow, the flirting starts the second the sun is up, huh?

BB: what, still too early? 

You: never too early

BB: do you brew the coffee yourself?

You: some mornings. I usually pop into XX Cafe midday if i can.

BB: catch you there? 😂 (laughing emoji) nah, i’ll have to check the place out. I don’t know this area too well.

You: i guess if you can find me! I’m usually in and out pretty fast. Got places to be you know? Hm, did you just move here?

BB: yeah, i got settled in about a week ago

You: staying long?

BB: long enough

You: oh ha ha. Seriously not suspicious at all

BB: yeah I’m in town for a month or two. I’m getting away from work and stress for a minute

You: and you chose here?

BB: quiet enough for me. 😌 (smiley face) and you’re here so that’s a plus

You: relentless

BB: and nothing less.

-

MONDAY EVENING

BB: you haven’t seen that series? You’re crazy

You: whaaat! It’s not my thing. AND i don’t have time for it

BB: it’s a masterpiece, come on! Who doesn’t like laughing? It’s funny! You’ll like it

You: you’re gonna owe me a drink if don’t like it

BB: I’ll gladly buy you one right now if that’s what it takes to get you to watch it

You: ugh, i guess if you recommend it i can tryyyy…

BB: you won’t regret it!

You: ugh you are so annoying. What are you up to right now?

BB: reading emails and talking to you

You: haha what’s so important that you’re reading an email at like 11. Gotta turn on that “do not disturb” dude

BB: I can’t mute the work stuff, unfortunately

You: so if i called you over tonight you wouldn’t be able to? “Because of work?”

BB: you serious? I’m only taking serious offers right now

You: No! It’s monday. Can’t indulge you that early in the week

BB:  what a shame. I’d drop it in a heartbeat for you

You: Nice to know 

BB: I’ve got a feeling that I shouldn’t have told you that (laughing emoji)

You:  😈 (devil emoji)

-

TUESDAY MORNING

BB: good morning!

You: hey! I remembered I had some tea back at my apartment so… just wanted to let you know you had an impact on my day 🙄😊 (eye roll emoji and smiley face emoji)

BB: I could still make a better cup for you 😘 (kissy face emoji)

You: right. What do you have planned today?

BB: hmm, I’m heading out to the gym. Then I might explore the city a bit. Bump into me?

You: well, I don’t know if I could recognize you even if i wanted to

BB: you’ll recognize me

You: haha, okay? Wait, do I know you? –– if this is a prank… 

BB: it’s not! 

You: .. that wouldn’t be cool.

BB: it’s not a prank! There’s just a lot of things I can’t tell you just yet. It’d be a lot easier if we were able to meet up in person.

You: why?

BB: I’m pretty private. It’s really hard for me to just… share certain things with you. But I want to! SO badly! I just can’t send you a whole picture of my face. It’s complicated.

You: Sorry? I don’t get it.

BB: Ahhhh. This is going to sound so bad. I trust you, like as a person. But also I can’t trust you. If you meet me–– you’ll understand why. I’m sorry. 

You: Okay…? And you have to understand that this sounds absolutely batshit to me, right? Like it’s pretty hard to trust you like this. 

BB: yeah I know. I’m sorry. I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me. But honestly, it’s nice to be able to talk to you like this and I hope we can continue to chat. I really do like you.

You: … That is really unfair.

BB: I know! I’m sorry. Give me another day or two–– i have a few things to figure out but, I SWEAR i’m not lying to you. I promise it’ll make sense soon

You: well, if you promise you’re not a creep….

BB: I’m not!

You: and that you’re not using me as a replacement for your ex

BB: I won’t!

You: you are SO lucky i’m patient

BB: and kind. And beautiful. And amazing.

You: you’re pushing it, blurry boy. I just need you to realize how unfair this is.

BB: I do. And I know. I’m sorry.

You: what are you looking for here? With me or with anyone you would have met from the app?

BB: a home away from home

You: yeah i read that in your bio. What does that mean?

BB: I’m looking for someone I can spend time with and trust with my whole heart

You: ha ha

BB: I’m serious. It’s hard to find.

You: you’re a real romantic, that’s for sure

-

TUESDAY EVENING

You: you have a DOG and you didn’t tell me?

BB: what, you’re not interested in the fact that I have younger twin brothers and another 8 years younger than me? ‘Always about Tessa

You: obviously! Send a pic!

BB: 

You: is this from right now?

BB: nah, something I took ages ago. I had to leave her back home with my family.

You: aww, that’s too bad.

BB:  would you come over if she were here?

You: Duh! And I guess you’d have to make me a cup.

BB: sounds lovely. Let’s make it a date

You: ha ha. You miss home?

BB: More than you know. I travel A LOT

You: well, call back often! They would be happy to know you miss them! Loneliness is not a great feeling.

BB: I do, all the time! And definitely not a good feeling. So, it’s really nice to talk to you. Thank you.

You: Sorry, I’m not a very great conversational partner. But still happy to hear that

BB: You are. You’re still here

You: You are too.

BB: You already mean a lot to me

You: Have you been in many relationships? (Or hookups idk)

BB: No, and not really. I’ve only been in a handful of long-term relationships

You: Interesting

BB: What?

You: Just wondering if you are really catching feelings for me

BB: Guilty. You?

You: I don’t think I know enough about you to catch anything. No offense 😬😅(cringe emoji, laughing emoji)

BB: Ha, no. I meant if you’ve been in many relationships?

You: Oh! Sorry. A few of either. Did long-term once. Didn’t work out, obviously–– so here I am. That’s that.

BB: Guess we both have a past to bury

You: Please don’t say anything about “burying yourself into my pussy to feel better”

BB: WHAT. I wasn’t even thinking about that. That’s all you 👀

You: Hey, you’ve been pretty quick all the other times, bud.

BB: If I tell you I want more than just sex, does that make you feel better?

You: It makes me think about the fact that you still want to have sex with me

BB: And I can’t deny that 😊 (smiley blushy face emoji)

-

WEDNESDAY MORNING:

BB: Good morning!

You: Morning! Little later than usual–– sleeping in?

BB: Yeah, since I can afford to. You replied quicker than usual. Were you waiting for me? 😉 (wink emoji)

You: Haha, you wish. I was already on my phone, stud.

BB: Right, right. I can tell you like to play hard to get

You: No I don’t!

BB: 😂 (laughing emoji)

You: I don’t!

BB: Wow, feels great to finally have something to hold over you 

You: I hate you 🙄 (eye roll emoji)

BB: Have a nice day, love 😊🌈(smiley face, rainbow emoji)

-

PING! 

“BB? Who is bb?” Liza asks you on Wednesday evening after seeing a notification pop up on your phone. She grabs it off the sticky cafe table and looks at you with her pretty head tilted.

Oh––

You wiggle your jaw, and raise your brows,

 “No one important.” 

You take your phone back and open the message discreetly. It’s nothing special, you’re sure, but you have to look.

BB: so have you seen the last episode yet????? Hello??

“I didn’t know you were seeing anyone!” She pleads, putting down the drink in her hands. You were at the mall, idly walking and taking a short break. She looks at you pointedly, eyes darting around your face for any spot of weakness, as she quietly whines, “You didn’t tell us anything about this…”

“It’s because I’m not––”  You offer, nodding. You flip your phone upside down as the message lights up again. “–– seeing anyone.”

She gives you a squinted look of total disbelief.

You’ve been messaging “Blurry Boy” nonstop for the past few days. First you talked about nothing, and now you’re asking each other about how your day was going and what you’re doing now, and what you’re doing later. 

You always find something. Your phone is constantly by your side, sound on.

And there’s a layer of real time now, now that you’ve gotten to know him and his schedule better.

You learn that he has his own cute dog name Tessa and that his family fosters dogs back home, and that he’s the oldest, with twin brothers and a younger one he’s been trying desperately to relate to. You find out that his favorite color is black and that he’s in deep shit for stealing his best friend’s fav hoodie. All of this makes him feel like someone you know, someone you could call a friend.

He feels like more than just some guy you’ve talked to waaaay too long from Tinder.

And what’s worse, is that he knows certain things about you too. He knows that you don’t like sleeping in the dark and that you’re borderline addicted to iced coffee. That you like rewatching old romcoms and classic spooky movies… That your back hurts from work and that you have a fucking dentist appointment on Thursday. 

You know a lot more about each other than less. And that’s kinda really fucking weird.

“You’re always smiling at your phone,” Liza says flatly, picking her drink back up to take a long and loud sip. Major side-eye. “‘Fess up.”

“No, I’m not!” You say through your teeth, trying to not smile. But under her stare you melt and crack under pressure.

You keep telling yourself that you’ll stop replying–– that he’s super sus and this isn’t going anywhere. But… you just keep texting him back.

“It’s nothing, seriously.”

“Let me see,” she pouts. “Pleeeease.” She flaps her hands at you, wriggling her fingers.

“No!”

Even though you know that it’s a losing game with her, you try to put up a fight, turning away and holding your phone tightly. You have onlookers now from the squealing, kicking and creaking chairs.

You give in after a minute.

You hand your phone in defeat as you readjust yourselves. You clear your throat.

“Okay, okay. But this is like, not serious at all, okay.” You rationalize as you show her the pictures you had screenshot and saved from him. “I barely know him.”

Barely! You’ve chanted that in your head over and over. Not enough to know if you want to get to know him, or what to drop him. That’s the purgatory you’ve been living in.

Liza is uncharacteristically quiet as she scrolls up and down the chats and flips through the pictures. Her hair covers whatever expression she’s making.

That makes you nervous, and you start babbling.

“Yeah, I mean. I don’t think he’s real or anything–– It’s just for fun and it’s whatever. I don’t even care.”

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She freezes on a picture of him. The one where you can see a part of his smile and a crinkled eye. She zooms in and pauses again.

?

“Babe?” Her voice is cautious and slow. God. You don’t want to hear what she has to say next with this tone of voice…

“Hm?” You attempt to perk up, hiding the fact that you just gulped with nerves. It feels like you’re holding something sour in your mouth.

I don’t like this...

“So, he seems like a super nice guy and all but…” She speaks gingerly and wide eyed.

“But what?” You feel yourself recoil. 

As much as you talk a big game… it would still hurt to have this illusion shattered. This self-inflicted fantasy. You don’t want her to keep going. 

But you can guess what’s coming next.

...

“I… I think he’s using pictures of Tom Holland.”

…

…

…

Wait…...

What?!

-

A.N: WAH! she’s back!! well, as much as she can be. haha i know i have a million things always running at the same time but... i really will just ride the wave of inspiration as it comes.... that’s all i can do. anyway, hope you like this series! it’s going to be an exploration of starting new relationships in your young adulthood–– and how to handle be “The one” after “The One.” it’ll be a good time.

Thank you guys for reading! Please like, comment and reblog :) You’re all amazing. 

Much Love,

Madmadmilk 💫

** i do NOT keep up with a taglist. track #one after the one to keep up with the updates, or check out my masterlist! thanks! 

[supernaturallyobsessedchic]

Still Hurts

Pairing: Dean x Reader/Jensen x reader

Warnings: Death (noncharacter), Depression, sadness galore, some fluffy Dean, fluff ending, bible scriptures at the end depends on Faith. I am of Christian faith, and spiritual, and have added 2 scriptures to help with grief.

Summary: The reader is in the world of Supernatural, but things at home are still going on. It makes things hard.

Main Masterlist

Mobile Masterlist

a/n: My grandma passed away today, of all days Friday the 13th. We knew it was coming, she started going down hill 4 days ago, did good yesterday, was somewhat coherent. But today, she didn’t do good and passed sometime this afternoon. I felt numb pretty much all day, cried off and on. Slowly I’ve come out of the hole to write something mostly for me, but it can be for whoever would need it. Just with the fact, we knew it was coming, makes the pain not any better. Still hurts.

a/n #2: This, this storyline is going to be a little messy but, it’ll be a mix of my Down the Rabbit Hole series and another series that hasn’t even surfaced yet, it’s still in the daydreaming slash brainstorming stages in my brain. But It may be Dean, or it may be Jensen, I haven’t decided yet. Not fully anyway.

~

Still hard to believe, despite being in this mess my phone even works here.

Mom always kept me in the loop, same for Dad, about my grandma. My mom’s mom. I damn near lost myself after my last grandma died. It still hurts now, but not as bad when it’s fresh.

But this, we’ve known it was going to come sooner or later. She wasn’t doing good; she started the early stages of dying a few days ago. Her heart doing weird things. I was waiting for it then.

It never came.

Next day she’s fine. She’s talking, sort of. She’s somewhat awake. She was okay yesterday.

This morning my dad texts me.

‘Grandma’s not doing good today, they’re expecting soon. But I’ll let you know.’

So, while Dean was out, doing a supply run. Sam finding Chuck. Or should I say, Jensen was out on the supply run and Jared was searching for Chuck.

We had just finished up in Alaska, now we’re just trying to keep busy. Slow Chuck down.

I decided to do house chores. Keep busy, keep my mind at bay.

“Jared, I’m gonna do laundry, need anything washed?” I asked.

“Hmm?” he asked, coming out of a haze from searching. “Oh, uh, sure. I have a hamper; it should be ready.” He says. Getting back to searching, waving me off.

I nod.

My Supernatural phone buzzes. It’s Jensen, screen comes up as Dean. Texting me.

‘Need anything from me?” he asks.

‘That time of the month has passed, I’m good. When it gets closer I’ll do it. I don’t want to do that to you.’

‘You can’t plan ahead on what we’ll be doing. Just send me a pic of what you use, I’ll pick you up a few packs.”

‘Um, sure. Hang on.’ I send, as I head to the bathroom. Shooting a picture of my package of pads and sending it to him.

‘Don’t get lost Priestly.’ I send with a smile.

‘Oh, harty har, har, you think you’re so funny. Dee does that all the time to me when I offer her the same thing.’ He texts. Sending a few laughing emojis.

‘Okay, be home soon. I got food for supper if your up for it.’ he sends.

‘Wonder what it could be?’ I text him. Already curious about food.

Since being thrusted into this whole shit show. My ex friend, somehow turned into a mad scientist was able to break the realities. Make dimensions, portals to them. He made Supernatural real somehow. There was a period for 13 seasons the boys blamed me for created it. Because fan fictions, anime shows would be mixed in with the stories. Make their own episodes of them. They hated me, didn’t trust me. Until I couldn’t take it anymore, when we gone through episode Advanced Thanatology, instead of Dean injecting himself. I just yanked the needle out of his hand and killed myself. After that, things got better but it still feels forced. Then again, I could be miss reading it, as always.

But since that day, Jensen’s been strangely nice, Jared…he tries but Jensen’s seeming like he’s forcing himself.

I get the clothes loaded in the washer; I clean the bathrooms. I clean our rooms, make our beds and such. Dust.

Then my other phone vibrates. I’m getting a call. It’s my dad.

“Dad, what’s wrong?” I asked. Knowing deep down in my gut somethings wrong. He never calls, moments in this show when shit hits the fan back home he’d usually text me.

“Grandma passed away just an hour ago. I just got done telling my boss, I’m on my way home. I know you’re still in there with those guys. But, don’t tell them. Chances are they’ll just hurt you. I still don’t trust them.” He says.

“She’s gone.” I said, my chest feeling heavy. My eyes feeling the heavy, hot tears surface.

“Yes, sweetheart she’s gone. She’s no longer suffering.” He says. “That’s all that matters. She’s up there with grandpa, she’s not suffering. We’ve known it was going to happen.” He adds.

“Yeah, but…it hurts.” I said. Sobs are now wanting to break me.

“Y/N, you need to try to hold together until you can get into your room. I would kill to be there to hold you, mom too. But, we can’t. We’re here, dealing with it. But you deal over there, just put yourself back together, come home. In one peace, try not to kill yourself again. I know it hurts. But once your home, we can help you heal too.” He says.

“Thanks dad. I’ll try.” I said.

And I hang up after we said our goodbyes.

Everything’s clean enough. I thought.

I’ll keep doing laundry. It keeps me away from the boys; besides, I have all their clothes. I’ll fold, put away, and then hide and break down. I thought out my plan. That’s what I’ll do.

Point of view switch [3rd person]

Jensen walked in with the groceries, all in each arm, making it in one trip. Jared meeting him in the kitchen.

“So, what’s for supper?” He asked.

“Y/N found this recipe of her mom’s; I want to try it. Grown up Mac and Cheese. I just had to buy the pasta, she got everything else last week.” Jensen explained.

“Sounds yummy, she’s doing the laundry.” Jared said.

“Cool. I’ll give her, her stuff and she can get cooking.” Jensen says.

He makes his way down the winding halls, no sign of her in Jared’s room, but there’s signs she was there. His clothes were neatly folded on his bed.

He checks his room, same deal. Neatly folded clothes on his bed.

He heads to the laundry room, she’s not in there.

“Well, where the hell?” he asks himself. Maybe her room. He thought.

He gets to her door, but stops himself from knocking when he hears crying behind the door.

“Hey,” he says gently. “Hey, Y/N,” he says again with a knock. And slowly opens her door.

“Not now.” She says, her voice shaking from the crying.

“Sweetheart, what’s got you crying?” he asks kindly.

“What do you care, leave me alone.” she cries.

“Y/N –”

“I said get out!” she shouts, throwing a pillow at her door. Making Jensen shut it.

Jensen stood there, baffled by her outburst. And heads to the kitchen.

“Dude, what’d you say to her?” Jensen asks.

“What?” Jared asks. “Nothing, why?” he asks him.

“I went to her room, found her crying. She threw a pillow at me to leave. I don’t know why she’s crying.” Jensen explains.

Jared shrugs. Clearly, he didn’t cause her pain.

Jensen’s personal phone buzzed. It’s his wife.

“Hey baby.” Jensen answers.

“Jay, her little brother just reached out to us. Her grandma passed. She’s hurting. And her parent’s don’t trust you guys. They think you’ll still hurt her.” Danneel explained to her husband.

“Probably after treating their daughter like shit for 13 seasons, driving her to the point to kill herself, I don’t blame them. But, we’re trying. Or I thought we were. Guess we’re not trying hard enough.” Jensen says.

“Hey, don’t talk like that. You just need to keep assuring her. It’s her you’re trying to regain that trust. Just, try again. Either wait for the crying to stop, or just, do something you would do if your sister was hurting. Or your own daughter. Just, I hate seeing her like this Jay, maybe you guys cook that dinner for her.” Danneel says.

“We’ll think of something baby. Love you.” Jensen tells his wife.

“Love you more. Now go cheer our girl up.” She says. Ending the call.

“What’s the plan?” Jared asked.

“Well, the recipe is right there on the island. I guess, start cooking. I’ll go try to piece her back together if I can.” Jensen says.

“Don’t push too hard.” Jared advises.

“I know man.” Jensen says.

He makes it back down to her room. Hearing it’s silent behind the door he knocks.

“Hey, sweetheart, you okay in here?” he asks.

“Go away.” She says weakly.

Her light was on, she was curled into a ball in the center of her bed. The pillows surrounding her, minus the one she threw earlier.

“No can do sweetie, my wife and your little brother want us to take care of you. And besides, we hate seeing you hurting.” He says.

“I don’t trust you, now leave.” She says. Her voice cracking.

“Um, something tells me, you really don’t feel that way.” Jensen says. “But it’s okay to protect yourself from anymore harm. Whether it’s physical or emotional. But I promise you, I’m not here to cause any more pain. I’m here to put you back together.” He adds.

He hears her let out a sigh. Defeated. He takes that as his cue to enter fully, and take a place on the edge of her bed. Her head, near his lap.

“Your little brother contacted my wife somehow, told us what happened. Loss is never easy.” He says.

Seeing her face distort again with pain, she starts crying again.

“We knew it was coming.” She sobbed. As she hid her face in her hands. Letting some sobs rack through her, she sits up. Taking a deep breath.

“We,” she starts again, trying to breathe. “We’ve known for a little while. I mean, she’d have good days, bad days. But one day, she…she…” a sob began to surface.

Jensen placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, rubbing up and down her arm. “Shh, it’s okay.” He says quietly.

“She got worse; her heart started doing something. She was dying, but then the next day she was fine, and she was okay. Same for the day after that. Then today, dad tells me she’s not doing good. And not, two…three hours later, she’s gone.” She explained.

“At least she’s at peace, she’s not suffering anymore. That’s all that matters.” Jensen says, his hand not leaving.

“I know. But just because we’ve known, doesn’t mean it makes the pain that much easier.” She cries.

“I know it doesn’t. It just means you love her. But you have to remember her as she was when you last saw her, remember her at her best. Don’t think about the bad, the depressing stuff that’s happened along the way. Think about the good times you had with her.” Jensen said.

“God, it’s like that episode Cas has with Jack. About appreciating the time we all have together now. And that the pain, is…is because I love them. And the pain is awful, but it’s also living. But…” she began to trail as sobs racked her again.

“Don’t…please, don’t finish that sentence.” Jensen says. Tears of his own surfacing.

He doesn’t like seeing this. People crying over loss, losses so close to home. Especially people he cares about.

“I know it hurts; I can’t imagine how much it hurts right now. But you can’t give up, you can’t stop fighting now. You have to keep going. Do it for her. Do it for you. Take a knee sweetheart, you need to heal. And this kind of pain, it doesn’t have a set day of when it’ll go away. But it does get better. Once your better, let us know. And we’ll get back to hunting again, because the faster we get this done, the faster we get home. But for right now. Our focus is you.” Jensen explains. Giving her a kind smile.

She returns it, forcing it some. She casts her gaze down as some more tears escape.

‘C’mere.” Jensen says, bring her in his arms. Hugging her, holding her tight. Her face in the crook of his neck. It’s only then her walls come tumbling down fully.

“Let it out sweetheart, let that hurt out. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. Just cry it out.” He tells her softly in her ear. He can feel her tears hit his neck the longer she cried.

It was a good long while she cried in his arms. He just started rocking her gently in his arms.

“There she is.” He says, seeing her peer up from his shoulder.

He takes his finger, gently wiping a finger across her cheeks, catching any stray tears that fall. “Feeling any better?” he asks.

“Just numb, and drained. Not sure if I can eat now.” She says.

“Well, you haven’t had anything all day. At least try a few bites.” Jensen encourages. She nods. “Atta girl.” He says.

“Knock, knock.” Jared says entering her room with bowls of her mom’s mac and cheese.

“You made this, I thought I was…” she trails.

“You were dealing with your own issues, wanted to help out a bit. Plus, I already tried some. This shits good.” Jared says.

“Is that why you only brought in two bowls?” Jensen asks.

“Yep.” Jared says shamelessly with a big grin.

Jared handed Y/N her bowl, and Jensen his. The smell from the bowl caused her stomach to growl.

“Sounds like your starving, eat up.” Jared says, leaving the room.

“At least try, could always snack on something.” Jensen says.

“I am starving, I’m not numb to that. Just, it’s like my light is gone. I mean, yeah Jared did make me giggle there a few seconds ago. But it’s like…” she trails.

“Need a recharge?” Jensen asks.

“Yeah. I feel so drained. And I’m running on empty. Things that’ll make me laugh is a 50/50 shot now, if I do laugh, it will only feel good for that split moment. Afterwards, I’ll feel shitty again. I don’t want to feel shitty.” She says.

“Then, what do we do? What’s the Winchester way?” Jensen asks with a knowing smirk.

“Always keep fighting.” She says with a tired smile.

“There you go.” He says to her, kissing her forehead. “Now, lets eat, I’m starving.” He says getting up to the kitchen. Y/N following suit.

Joshua 1:9

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

Matthew 5:4

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

~

Dean/Jensen tags:

@luci-in-trenchcoats, @supernatural-jackles, @becs-bunker, @mlovesstories, @winchesters-favorite-girl

~

Copying and reposting someone else’s content is plagiarism and illegal. This work is property of supernaturallyobsessedchic. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher. An electronic reference link to the original posted work may be provided for purposes of promotion or assistance of publication by the readers discretion, if proper credits are given to the author in the re-post. 11/13/2020