#I hate living in a world where we send our kids to school with a bulletproof shield in their backpack

[spinningintheshadows]

Noblesville Community Schools

Lebanon Community Schools

Marion Community Schools

Southwestern Consolidated Schools

Center Grove Schools

Speedway Schools

Edinburgh Community Schools

Eastern Pulaski Community Schools

Lakeland Schools

Prairie Heights Community Schools

Borden-Henryville Schools

Hamilton Community Schools

Southwest Parke Community Schools

Lake Station Community Schools

North Miami Community Schools

North Harrison Community Schools

Hanover Community Schools

Frankton-Lapel Community Schools

Fairfield Community Schools

Guerin Catholic High School

Madison Consolidated Schools

Madison-Grant Community Schools

Middlebury Community Schools

Northwest Allen County Schools

Oak Hill United School Corporation

Rising Sun- Ohio County Community Schools

Salem Community Schools

Shelbyville Central Schools

Shelby Eastern Schools

Shenandoah School Corporation

Western School Corporation

Tipton Community Schools

Western Wayne Schools

Union County - College Corner Joint School District

That’s 34 school districts in Indiana that received a bomb threat via e-mail on the morning of April 14, 2023.

The news is saying there’s more than that (I first heard 40) but that’s the list I can find.

One of those districts, I won’t say which one is the district I currently live in.

[love-is-patient]

I have religious trauma.

I was raised in a household where my dad wanted to be God, and so characterized Him in a way that left me constantly paranoid.

God was a judge, God was a debt collector, God was a hammer waiting to strike.

My mother was likewise delusional to a point. She used religion as a manner of control, manipulating my egotistical dad and our chaotic little world so she could feel better about herself.

I was abused in the church. I’ve been so many churches since childhood I can’t count them.

I was told I was possessed because I was a child with adhd and couldn’t sit still in a pew. I was told that if I didn’t see visions or speak in tongues, I wasn’t saved. I was told that I must be thinking about God at all times or I wasn’t good enough. That I was lukewarm, unlovable, unworthy.

I was too afraid to take communion. I cried and turned away from the altar multiple times because I was a too dirty to touch the offering.

I was told so many awful things that I grew up with a persistent religious paranoia on top of my already anxiety inducing life.

So… why am I still a Christian, after all of that?

Stockholm syndrome, right?

It would be easy to write it off as that, but I did turn away from religion. In the back of my mind. I stayed cautious in case God was still watching.

It wasn’t until I got rid of the destructive influences in my life that things changed.

My perception of God changed when I left the awful people using His name in vain- or for personal gain.

When I grew up, learned to be discerning about the character of people.

Many people live under the assumption that I did- that God is a tyrant who is waiting for you to mess up so he can smash you and send you to hell. Paradoxically, that almost makes Satan sound preferable.

But that’s not who God is, and he doesn’t want people to go to hell.

Even if you haven’t had good parents, you’ve seen what they’re like. They get excited to share experiences with their children. The first taste of lemon, the first puddles to splash in. First words, first laughs, first steps.

God wanted that for us.

Satan got jealous after his rebellion in heaven. He saw God had something good and wanted it for himself again - even if it was just to spite God.

He offered humanity a choice and we took it.

We can debate why it happened until we’re blue in the face, but what matters most are God’s decisions afterwards.

Everything that has happened since the fall has been God trying to bring his wayward children back without force.

Just like when you see that friend of yours making the same bad decisions day after day, and you know their quality of life would improve if they just stopped. It’s heartbreaking, frustrating. You can give them all the advice in the world but they’ll just keep on doing the thing and complain to you about every headache afterwards.

Now you know a little what God feels like.

Only God is a little more patient than we tend to be.

God doesn’t ask much from us, not as much as people, which is weird to think about.

God doesn’t measure your worth by how good you are at your job, how badly you do in school. He doesn’t equate your value to how rich or poor you are, he doesn’t judge you the same way people do.

The first thing he asks of you is to love him and love each other.

He loves us so much that he opened heaven again if we ask for it.

He came down as flesh and blood in Jesus and took all the punishments we should’ve had. In Jesus death and resurrection, we have a way home.

All he wants for us to do is acknowledge that.

He doesn’t hate you if you can’t pay tithe. He doesn’t talk behind your back if you make a mistake. He doesn’t demean, debase, abuse.

Why am I still a Christian?

Because God was there for me when people weren’t.

God didn’t abuse me as a kid, people did, and used God as a shield.

God didn’t lie to me, call me names, break my things - my parents did.

God didn’t order me to do unbelievable things in order to reach him - my pastors and teachers did.

God didn’t tell me I’m unworthy - people did.

Even if you don’t believe in God, if you’re angry at him, feeling hurt and betrayed.

Maybe take a closer look and see if it’s really the people around you making you miserable, instead of an untouchable, invisible hammer.

[veryintricaterituals]

I am Jewish, what does that mean?

I was born in Colombia on the 49th anniversary of Hitler's suicide, I was raised here but I lived in Israel for about four years. I am not white, I don't look white, and my first language is Spanish. I came back to Colombia three years ago because of the pandemic.

I grew up Jewish and swallowed all the pro-Israel propaganda, I moved there looking for better opportunities and somewhere safe where I could come out of the closet. It took me less than a month to understand where I really had ended up in. It wasn't so different from my own colonized third world country filled with violence.

I did my best, I voted against the current Israeli government four separate times, I worked with and was great friends with many Palestinians and Arab Israelis (there unfortunately is a difference), I went to protests, I donated blood, I donated food and money. I fucking hate Netanyahu with all my heart.

For two years I taught English at a low income school in Jerusalem where all my students were mizrahi jews (from Arab countries) whose families had been kicked out of various surrounding countries in the 20th century. When I spoke to their parents and grandparents they talked about Iran, Morroco, Egypt, Yemen, with such longing and they brought me the most delicious foods. (Two of my students were killed two weeks ago, kids, barely 18 now, much younger when I taught them, I remember them).

My great grandmother on my mom's side was born in Jerusalem and raised in Egypt until all Jews were expelled and she had to flee with my newborn grandfather. They ended up in Colombia because she spoke ladino (Jewish dialect that is close to Spanish) they were undocumented, without a nationality because Egypt had rejected them, they had to lie and pay for falsified documents in order to get a passport, I still have a Red Cross passport in my house with my grandfather's name that determines he has no home country.

My great grandparents on my dad's side were born and raised in Bielorrusia and had to escape with my newborn paternal grandfather from the progroms after they destroyed their shtetl, they tried to make it to the US but they wouldn't take any more Jews so they ended up in Colombia.

My great grandmother on my paternal side was born in Romania, at the age of 12 she got on a boat with her 15 year old cousin, not knowing where it would take them. Her parents had both died and antisemitism was on the rise. She was so afraid that they were going to send her back that she threw her passport (that said JEW in capital letters) into the sea when they arrived at the port of a country she had never heard of, to this day we don't know when her birthday was.

My maternal grandmother is Colombian, she was born and raised here, Catholic until she converted to marry my grandfather, and yet when I went looking up our family tree I found we came from Sephardic Jews that had been expelled from Spain almost 500 years ago by the inquisition.

There are less than 400 Jews in my city that homes over 4 million people. My synagogue has been closed since October 12th, our president has equated all of Israel with Nazism on multiple occasions in the last few weeks. The kids that go to our tiny Jewish school have stopped wearing the uniform so that they cannot be identified. Ours is one of the countries with the least amount of antisemitism in the world. Someone in my university saw my Magen David necklace and screamed at me to go back where I came from. I went online and saw countless posts telling Israelis to do the same.

I am Jewish, I am latina, I am gay. My story is complicated, my relationship with my community is complicated, my relationship with my country is complicated. My relationship with G-d is complicated, my relationship with Israel is incredibly complicated. My history is complicated.

I am Jewish. What does that mean?

[furiousgoldfish]

When abused children get bullied at school it sends a slightly different message to them.

Bullying in general, can be terrifying because of the violence, destruction, toxic social hierarchy that is imposed on the bullied child, the humiliation and the social abuse can be traumatic and scarring, and there's a lack of protection, social isolation and knowledge that even in the public setting, you can be hurt and others will do nothing to help you, nobody will stand up for you. That is, ultimately, rejection from your entire social circle; you're unwanted among your peers, they don't find you worthy of saving, or physical safety. It makes you distrust the society, and the good in people.

But abused kids also get this at home, so it's nothing new; for those abused extensively at home, bullying can even seem like not such a big deal. It was like that for me. When life at home would be a constant death threat, few kids at school destroying my things and mocking me in public seemed like a minor inconvenience. Nothing short of life-threatening violence would even upset me, and the kids at my high school weren't looking to go that far.

Looking back though, I understand that it did more than upset me, it let me know that I'm unwanted everywhere. For those abused in their homes, the only hope is the escape in the outside world, where we could dream, that someone would care enough to make sure we're safe, that the don't die from lack of resources, that we could possibly be loved and protected. But bullying puts an end to that hope before we can even start. It tells us, no, public is just the same as home. There's nothing for you anywhere, we don't want you either. It's going to be the same for you everywhere. It's because you're different and weird and unlovable that this is happening to you; you can see it's not happening to other people, so it must be your fault directly that everyone hates you.

I haven't realized for a long time, how far it reinforced the message of the abusive parents, that I deserve this. That in my case, it was normal, and that I'm ultimately unlovable and nobody could possibly want or protect me. 'Something is wrong with you so we're going to hurt you' is the mantra both of the bullies, and the abusive parents. It goes hand in hand. And having no space where I could relax or feel like I'm not going to get hurt, made the world a worse place for me to live in. Regardless of whether I fought back or not, it didn't change the fact that I was surrounded with people who wished to hurt me, and would take any chance to do so. It made me feel that there is no escape. I was just too weird and something was deeply wrong with me, and everyone could see it and agree upon it.

Except it's not true. Nothing was wrong with me, I was only unprotected. I would have been just fine left alone. Nothing I did was any incentive for any of these people to do harm to me. It was their choice to do so, to make the world less safe for those who don't have anyone standing in their corner, and nowhere to turn to.

What society tells us about us sticks with us for a long time. A message repeated long enough, from enough sources, will end up etched in our brain, without us having the ability to scrub it off. We're sensitive to how we're being perceived, and out perception is affected by what other tell us about us. So when people tell us the worst possible things, no matter how untrue, they stick. We can't know immediately, that they're saying it only to excuse and rationalize their own gross actions. We can't know that they need to say it, in order to frame their crimes against us as just and normal, when they're anything but. It takes intense and conscious training to link people's spoken opinions of us, to what they're intending to do to us. It takes a lot to realize that when they're talking with hatred in their voice about us, they're doing so only in order to create a fake scenario in which they are allowed to hurt us. They don't know or perceive us at all, they only perceive a situation where they can get away with causing harm. Our only crime is existing, unprotected.

[canirove]

In The Name of Love | Chapter 31

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Masterlist

"Keys, wallet, water bottle, notebook, pens, tissues… I think I have it all."

"Are you sure?" Silvia says.

"I… Shit" I say when I see her holding my phone.

"I've never seen you this nervous on a first day before. Not even on your very first day."

"Yeah, well… Back then I wasn't dating someone famous and the whole world knew about it" I sigh. Because now everyone knows. 

A few days after the photos in Tenerife were published, someone started to share details about me, sending them to magazines and fan accounts. People now knew my full name, what I had studied and where, what I did for a living, some of my hobbies… And, of course, my age. That had made things escalate quickly, the word cougar being thrown right and left. Though the comments that were hurting me the most, were the ones saying that I should not be teaching kids when I am dating someone so young.

"You aren't doing anything wrong, Val" Silvia says, taking my hand on hers.

"I know, but… I already got some weird looks from other teachers the other day. And I know that the moment the parents see me, they'll start gossiping."

"Then let them. You've been dating Pedri for three years already while teaching their kids, and they all have loved you and said you are amazing. Now because they know who you sleep with you suddenly are a bad teacher? C'mon…"

"People are like that, Silvia…"

"Stupid, that's what they are."

"A bit, yeah" I chuckle. "Anyway, I better go."

"Good luck, Val" she smiles.

"Thank you" I reply, walking towards the door. "Holy mother of Jesus!" I yell when I open it.

"Morning, gorgeous" Pedri smiles.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm driving you to work."

"What?"

"I wanted to be there on your first day."

"Did you know about this?" I say, turning to look at Silvia.

"I… Maybe?" she replies. "It was supposed to be a surprise."

"Oh, you have definitely surprised me. And given me a heart attack too."

"You opened when I was about to ring. But will this make you feel better?" he says, showing me the bouquet of flowers he was hiding behind his back.

"It's a start…"

"I can do other things to make you feel better, but we don't want to be late" Pedri smirks.

"Idiot" I reply, rolling my eyes.

"Should we go, then?" he says.

"Yeah, let's go."

"And Val…" Silvia says. "Haters gonna hate."

"Did you just quote Taylor Swift?" I laugh.

"She's right, so" she shrugs. 

"Maybe we should listen to that song in the car" Pedri offers.

"No."

"Ok, ok. You are kinda scary when you use that tone" he laughs. "Bye, Silvia."

"Bye, guys!" 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"It's time" I sigh, picking up my bag and the flowers.

"Everything will be ok, Val."

"It will, yes" I say, trying to convince myself.

"Have I ever told you how proud I am of you?" Pedri says, caressing my cheek.

"I'm not sure…"

"Well, I am doing it now. I am so proud of you, Val. What you teachers do is amazing and people should show you more respect."

"Aww, Pepi."

"It's the truth" he shrugs. "Now go there and show those kids how good you are."

"That sounds like what Xavi tells you before a game" I chuckle.

"It does, doesn't it?" he laughs. "But, again, it is the truth. You are amazing, Val."

"And you are gonna make me cry" I say, hitting his arm.

"Sorry" he smiles. "I love you."

"I love you too."

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Val! Good morning!"

"Good morning, Beth" I smile.

"The flowers arrived earlier today, uh?" she says, nodding towards the bouquet in my hands.

"And that was him, wasn't it?" Luis says. "He has a really nice car."

"Did he drive you to work?"

"He did, yes. He wanted to be with me on my first day" I say with a shy smile.

"That is so cute."

"I always drive you to work" Luis says.

"Yeah, but because we live together" Beth replies, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, let's go. We can't be late on our first day, can we?"

"We cannot, no" Luis sighs.

As we walk towards the school, many parents turn to look at us. I can see them whispering, nodding, and even pointing towards me. The moment we walk past them they say good morning with their best smile, but then the whispers are back.

"He probably bought her those flowers."

"And she's brought them so we all can see them."

"Her bag looks new. And expensive. I'm sure he bought it for her."

"Watch her start dressing like the other wags. No more Zara for Miss Valeria."

"She should be ashamed of herself. Dating someone so young…"

"Val, hey. Valeria" Beth says, linking her arm with mine. "Ignore them. They are just bored and jealous."

"Exactly. We know you and support you" Luis says to my other side.

"Thank you" I reply, trying to smile and focus on them, on my friends. Though it won't be easy…

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

How did it go? 

Ok

Ok? What does it mean?

It means that it was ok

Val, what happened?

Nothing  The kids are great One of them was wearing your shirt and came to show me with the biggest smile And then he asked me if I could get him your autograph

Cheeky 😂

What did you tell him?

That I would depending on how well he behaved and his grades Same to everyone else

Great motivation 😅

But if it was ok, why are you… off?

I'm not off

Val, I can feel it and we are just texting while being kilometres away

What happened?

Nothing

Val… what did we promise each other?

No more secrets

Ok, fine It was the parents They kept whispering and gossiping as I walked past them It was very uncomfortable, they were making me feel as if I had done something bad

But you haven't

I know, but… It doesn't matter

Val…

It doesn't It was just the first day, the novelty In a few days they will have moved on into something else Like a parent having a fling with another or whatever

Val, are you sure you are ok?

Do you want to facetime?

I'm fine, Pedri I'm going to bed already, I'm shattered  And so should you, you have a game tomorrow

If I don't sleep well and play badly we'll probably lose.

Yes, but I don't want you to lose because you were shit I want you to lose because the others suck

Always so thoughtful 😂

😇😇

But Val…

What now 🙄

I love you 🤍

I love you too 🤍

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I can't fucking believe it."

"What happened?" Silvia asks me.

"Isabel, I mean, “the mole”, just shared more photos" I sigh.

"What? How? I thought you had deactivated all your accounts."

"I did. But she must have download the photos or something."

"That is so fucked up, Val… Has the people Barça hired said something?"

"That whoever this person is, they are uploading and sending the photos using public WiFi signals and fake emails. That they know what they are doing."

"And do you really think Isabel is capable of doing all that?"

"She hates me, Silvia. She's capable of that and more." 

"Yeah, but… The teenagers are nuts" she says. "They could have hacked someone's account or something and be the ones doing this."

"It has been Isabel since the beginning. What has been shared about me are things only someone who actually knows me and has done it for years can know, and she had access to all my photos through Marc's accounts. It is her." 

"What are you going to do? Because this can't keep going on, and if they aren't able to catch her…"

"I don't know" I sigh. "And that must be my car" I say when my phone pings.

"Val, maybe you shouldn't go to today's game."

"I have to, Silvia. They are playing against Manchester United, Ferran is back, and he's gonna introduce us to his girlfriend. I can't miss it."

"But Val…"

"I have to go" I say, getting up from the sofa and leaving before she can keep talking, taking deep breaths on the lift to calm myself down. Which is what I've been doing the most these past couple of months. Take deep breaths, and cry.

At the school things have calmed down. After just a week, what I had told Pedri would happen became a reality and they moved on into a new piece of gossip, though I still get some disapproving looks. Online, it is a different story.

Most fans are ok with me dating Pedri or don't care. The only thing that matters to them is if he is happy or not, and they can see that he is. But there are others who don't share that sentiment and who are ruthless, constantly overanalyzing every photo of us or just me alone that they find, calling me the most awful and mean nicknames they can think of. 

A couple of weeks ago, someone started to send them photos of Pedri and I together or from when I was at uni and in high school, private photos I had on Instagram and Facebook and that only my friends and family were supposed to see. And, of course, the mean comments didn't slow down. They only got more and more disgusting.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Val, hi!" Ter Stegen's wife, Dani, says while waving at me.

"Hi" I smile.

"How are you? Ready for tonight's game?"

"Ready" I say, sitting down. 

Before the season started I promised Pedri that I would watch him play with the other girlfriends and wives, that there will be no more getting tickets all around the stadium. And so far, I had managed to do it, Dani helping me to not feel so out of place. Though with the comments she and the others would get every time they would post a photo where you could see me, the only thing that helped was ignoring or blocking. 

"It feels a bit weird to see Ferran on the other team, doesn't it?" Dani says.

"It does… ouch" I complain when something hits my head.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, yeah. I guess someone lost their bottle's lid" I say, looking up.

"At least it was just that and not water. Or worse, beer. I saw that happen in Germany to a friend of mine."

"Oh my God."

"Yep" she laughs.

"Cougar!" someone shouts behind us.

"What the fuck" Dani says, turning around. 

"Ignore them."

"What? They are insulting you, Val."

"They just want attention. The best we can do is ignore them."

"But…"

"Please, Dani. Let's focus on the game."

"Ok, fine. We'll do as you say."

But the insults don't stop. The girls sitting a few rows behind us spend the first half of the game calling me names, making fun of me and throwing me popcorn.

"We should tell security, Val. This is not ok."

"And end up all over the internet like happened years ago? Hell no."

"But you would only be defending yourself from some bullies!"

"Dani, let it go."

"And if I go talk to them? Maybe they will listen to me."

"No, no, no. I don't want you getting involved."

"Val, you are my friend. I can't just sit and do nothing while two stupid teenagers keep insulting you."

"Dani, please" I beg her.

"Urgh, fine. You are looking at me the same way my kids do and I can't say no to that."

"Thank you" I say, trying to smile. And I say trying because a ball of paper just hit my head, the girls laughing like crazy.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Hello" Pedri smiles, walking towards me.

"Hi."

"Ready to meet Ferran and… Val, what happened?" he says, throwing his bag next to his car and cupping my face while giving me a concerned look. 

"Nothing" I shrug.

"Val, you've been crying."

"No."

"Valeria…" he sighs.

"It's nothing."

"If it has made you cry, it definitely is something. Talk to me."

"But what about Ferran? He probably is waiting for us, the team must be leaving soon and…"

"Don't worry about him now. Tell me what happened."

"It's… it's nothing, really."

"Please, Val. I hate seeing you like this" Pedri says, the way he is looking at me breaking my heart.

"There were a couple of girls sitting behind us, and they…"

"They what?"

"They spent the whole game insulting me and throwing me popcorn."

"And didn't security do anything?"

"Dani wanted to call them, but I didn't let her."

"You didn't? Why?"

"Because I didn't want to make another scene, and those girls only wanted attention."

"They were bullying you, Val. And they made you cry. Because they are the reason why you were crying, weren't they?"

"Yes" I nod. "When the game ended we walked past them and they… they…"

"They what?"

"They were basically calling me a whore" I say, starting to cry again.

"See why you should have told security about them?" Pedri says, raising his voice.

"That would have only made things worse and you know it."

"What I know is that this can't keep happening, Val. It can't! I'm gonna speak with my team, the club and whoever is necessary and put an end to this."

"Pedri…"

"No! I'm not gonna allow my so called fans to keep bullying the woman I love. Enough is enough!" he says. I think I had never seen him this angry before.

"Please don't say anything. Please" I cry.

"What? Are you out of our mind, Val?"

"If you say something it will only get worse. And I… I won't be able to deal with that. Please let it go, Pedri. Please."

"Val…"

"Please" I beg him, hugging him as tightly as I can while crying on his shoulder. "Please."

"I… fine" he sighs. "But if it happens again, you will let me do something. We are done looking the other way, ok?"

"Ok" I say, still not letting go of him, feeling like he is the only thing keeping me from truly breaking apart.

[hiveswap]

hey, what the fuck is happening over there [hungary]?????

oh, god hi fens it's a mess

europe is having eu parliament elections, which are kind of a big deal and every party here is campaigning to have their candidate sent so that they can influence eu policy or whatever.

At the same time, there's a new party called "Tisza" (both the name of a major river and an acronym for "purity and freedom") lead by a young former government politican called Magyar Péter. He's ridiculously popular rn. Dude knows how to move crowds and wants Hungary to catch up to eu standards which we are definietly not reaching under Fidesz (current govt. party) Obviously I don't trust him entirely but they've got a legit chance of making things better and that is GOOD.

Other parties exist as well, but they've got no relevance, no voter base, and nobody wants them: These include Mi hazánk (nazis) and Kétfarkú kutyapárt (two tailed dog party) who are there for the meme and nothing else, their candidate showed up in a leather jacket to a debate and made jokes the whole time. (iconic) There's also a bunch of others but no one likes them all that much

Still at the same time, Fidesz has been at power for 12 fucking years. (one thing Tisza wants to do is limit this to 8 years max for future elections) And they've got this fucking country in the middle of a mass hysteria episode.

Their talking points include:

George Soros/Soros György is sending (arab) immigrants here to rape women and do crime and he pays leftist politicans to do this for him. And this is good for them because...? (they are cartoon villians dont question it pls)

2. Bruxelles (eu parliament) bad because they do gender and immigration (because of George Soros)

This George Soros thing got to the point where the current eu rep. went to a debate and accused all other candidates there, to their faces, of being paid by him. like, to their faces live on public television.

3. THE WAR -> according to our prime minister Orbán Viktor, all other parties except them want to bring back the draft and send hungarian boys to Ukraine to fight (absolutely deranged idea, no party wants this, they keep saiyng they don't) and also he's saying that Europe is heading towards a third world war and they are going to change this if they get into the eu parliament (they are in, right now, too.)

This has gotten to the point where they've got posters and ads about how there is going to be war and only they can save us. Magyar Péter appeared on tv saying he's been approached by a teacher whose students, 9-10 years old, were afraid that a burning house across the lake from their summercamp meant we were being bombed by Russia. (He's a politican so take this anecdote with a grain of salt)

...Anyway the chatch is that the govt. has allegedly been sending hungarian soliders to Chad this whole time so theyve got 0 right to say anything about them potentially being sent to Ukraine maybe.

4. Child protection from i guess queer people..? This one was big until recently, they banned mentions of queer people from schools, (before florida did btw) removed self-identification for trans people, ect.

This child protection "GENDER IDEOLÓGIA" (no we don't use the word gender in hungarian, they just left it in english) campaign ended when our president pardonned a pedophile children's home headmaster a few months ago, sparked an outrage, and had to step down. They've yet to apologise to the kids, btw. (The president in question, Novák Katalin, what a fucking girlboss, belonged to that far right Mi Hazánk party i mentioned before btw) They haven't been talking about protecting the children since, strangely.

there's also going to be a battery factory in Debdrecen (2nd largest city) which everyone hates and nobody wants and it's polluting the farmlands and the groundwater around there.

SO. YEAH. yay for hungary this is barely scratching the surface

[bettyshoweduptotheparty]

You can't hear it in the 'silence'... I have to get something off my chest

Sorry, this isn't going to be a fun post, but I've thought about it for a few days now, and I really need to get this off my chest if I want to continue talking about Taylor Swift in this space.

Reading Taylor's wrap up post for the London shows/European tour on Wednesday night filled me with relief, but left a bad aftertaste and I couldn't really put my finger on why, but it irked me so much that it kept me up all night. If you haven't seen, this was her post with the usual photo carousel:

So, finally, Miss Swift has found her voice addressing Vienna. And I don’t personally love the way she handled it, but I totally understand her reasoning and am aware that we have very different perceptions of danger given that home invasions and stalking are a frequent occurrence in her world, when that’s not something any of us have to fear.  And I thank Taylor, her team, and the Met Police for how incredibly safe the concerts felt, given the circumstances. But something has been bothering me about all of this, and it’s the way she addresses the ‘silence’.

Why is now the time she can finally “make something very clear”? Where was this when her creepy 'fans' swarmed and harassed her at Jack Antonoff's wedding last summer or when gaylors were told 8 times a day to off themselves following a simple NYT article? Yes, I’m disappointed. Because she can when she wants to. And the ‘restraint’ can sure feel like abandonment when people are hurting and nowhere is safe from Swifties… I doubt anybody really thought she doesn’t care or isn’t working hard to make the shows safe. But I have a question about that.

Why is my safety taken more seriously when I’m attending her concert than when my safe space online is being invaded by people telling me to go die? Twice in the last 8 months have I actually altered my behaviour because I felt distinctly unsafe as a gay woman in a Taylor Swift-related space. Why did it take such a scary event for that stadium to truly feel like a safe space for people to even show up wearing a pride flag as a cape , when back in June, I didn't feel safe enough to wear rainbow laces in my shoes. Because hate that turns into actual real life violence always starts online, and I just didn't want to risk it when people were calling for my public execution on social media mere months ago while Miss Taylor was yet again 'silent'....where was her ability to 'make something very clear' then? Was my safety, all of our collective safety, not important unless I've paid for a ticket to her show? Because I don't see the difference in what it would do to Taylor if even a single life was lost to excessive harassment and bullying by swifties versus if we got attacked at a stadium or during a dance class.

When you go on record saying you never want to be silent on important issues ever again, you can't act all annoyed when people subsequently expect you to say something when a fascist and convicted felon may be elected to government again, or queer people are being harassed within an inch of their lives in your name by your very fans. In the silence, actions speak louder than words and the legacy of a year of WAG Taylor catering to die hard conservative football fans and smiling in photographs with Tr*mp supporters (in an election year!) is really very scary. Those photos on the front of every newspaper may just be louder than any words she said five years ago (and no, performance art does not absolve anyone from that).

I'm all for thinking before speaking, but I don't want to feel like she's actively sending the bullies our way with her actions and verbal 'restraint'. I want to enjoy her art with the people in my community in a safe environment every day, not just when I'm coming to a stadium.

Since it's tour break, I'm also going to take a bit of a break from here, get some perspective, get my kids settled into a new school year. Maybe even try this dating in my 30s thing...(scary!). Have a good September, peeps! 😘

[bitchesgetriches]

if you were sending your kid off into the world (not kicking them out dw) with 10k to their name what would you recommend they do with it?

This is precisely why we're childfree. That's way too much pressure!

But ok, ok... technically you're ALL our children as we are benevolent and maternal overlords of Bitch Nation. So assuming we're giving one of you $10k and a loving pat on the back, here's what we'd recommend:

Put it in a HYSA and don't touch it for a year while you work a job.

And not just any job--a hard job. We're talking service industry, retail, or manual labor. Try to support yourself on your wages without dipping into that HYSA. Live in an overcrowded apartment with too many roommates in a shitty part of town. Take public transportation and eat ramen. Get a library card and a skateboard. Thrift your clothes and borrow/share/barter with your friends. Struggle to survive.

And at the end of that experience, reflect on it. Who was kind to you? Who shat all over you? What in your environment made it harder to get by? What made it easier? What held you back? What gave you a hand up? What made you angry, sad, depressed? What made you feel wonderful despite the struggle? Were your wages enough to live comfortably? Did you find fulfillment in the pleasures you pursued? What did you lack, what were you desperate for? What did you have enough of?

Ask yourself those questions, and then make a decision for yourself.

It might sound like I'm advocating a school of tough love. "I had to struggle in my youth, and so should you!" In actuality, what I'm saying is that I would trust my kid to learn from experience how best to use their money to make their life better.

My parents essentially shoved me out the door with $10k in the form of tuition and room and board for an expensive private college. Was that the right move for me? I honestly don't know! But my parents thought they were doing what was best for me. Other parents send their kids off with money in the form of an investment property, a business, a trust fund. Do those people appreciate that money? Do they use it in the best way for them? I have no idea.

But I do know that when I graduated college and was completely financially independent... I developed all kinds of very serious ideas about wealth and the world. I grew to hate most of the rich people I worked for, first as a nanny and then working retail. I felt deeply hurt by the landlords who made decisions without considering my humanity. I was afraid of the older men who exploited my labor while simultaneously overworking me in an entry-level position.

And I cherished the roommates who shared in my struggle and kept me going. I was grateful to the older relatives and friends who treated me like a human and helped out financially where they could. I saw firsthand how divided and ghettoized my city was when I had to transfer multiple bus lines just to get across town to work in a wealthy person's home.

What I would've done with a windfall at 23 is very different from what I did with it at 18. And if I'd had my 23-year-old knowledge and experience at 18, I would've used the money differently.

Why Are Poor People Poor and Rich People Rich?

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Pleasure Is My Business: Part Two

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.3k

Summary: You’re brought back to your high school days with this case. You put that behind you when you graduated, but life has a funny way of bringing you closer to the person who made your life miserable back then.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated

x

Larry was reluctant to send everything over but he did it. So, when you walk into the police station the next morning, Hotch already has all the files on the desk. Spencer is in the break room getting some coffee and you join his side to get the day started with some caffeine.

"Tonight is the first night of the reunion," he says.

"Fine, I'll go for a couple of hours and say hi to everyone. I don't know why they deserve it since all of them treated me like shit. I'm pretty sure they still hate me."

"You're an FBI agent. It doesn't matter what they've done with their lives. You're helping so many people despite what they've done to you. Nothing else matters."

"You're absolutely right," you grin and kiss him.

You two grab coffees for everyone before heading over to the empty conference room. Hotch is already on the phone with Penelope as everyone shuffles into the room.

"This guy is richie-rich. Eighteen cars, six houses, and three boats. Can you even boat in Dallas?"

"When you're talking about that much money, ten grand for a call girl is like deciding where to go for dinner," Emily says.

"I have half a million over here for something called the bat cave, and here's a picture of him as fetish Batman. That is wrong," JJ shudders and shows the picture.

"Is there anything this guy didn't like to spend money on?"

"Yeah, his ex-wives. Fielding was married four times. He didn't have prenups in the first two, but he did everything he could to cut off his ex-wives."

"Are there children involved?" you ask.

"Yes, with three of the wives. Hoyt Ashford was married a few times, too, wasn't he?"

"You know, considering that when Kevin takes me to dinner and a movie, he defaults on his student loans," Penelope divulges. "This amount of money is sick."

"What did you find?"

"All three of our dearly departed rich guys were embroiled in bitter court battles over how much to pay in alimony and child support, and even when the court ruled in the wife's favor, these three charmers just decided not to pay."

"Garcia, can you generate a list of high-profile Dallas CEOs who are holding out on their ex-wives?" Hotch asks.

"One loaded losers list, Dallas edition, coming at ya. Penelope out."

"So, why would a prominent businessman who could easily pay child support refuse to?" you ask when Penelope hangs up.

"For this type of overachieving personality, paying money after the marriage ends probably offends him."

"They're spending tens of thousands on an escort, but they won't drop a dime on their wife and kids? That's cold," JJ shakes her head.

"Meanwhile, most prostitutes come from broken homes and she's listening to pillow talk. That could serve as some sort of trigger about how their ex-wives are cheating them out of money, and how their kids are nagging them. It's everything that these men take for granted that she never had."

"Should I assemble the police for a profile?" JJ asks.

"I don't think it's gonna help. She lives in a completely different world than they do. The same thing goes for the news-watching public. The CEOs who sleep with her won't admit to it."

"I couldn't even get past the team of lawyers protecting them," JJ says.

"What if we give the profile to the corporate lawyers? They've cleaned up after her even if they don't realize that they've seen this woman," Hotch suggests.

"Every time we've approached them, they've circled the wagons. What makes you think this is going to be any different?"

"She's putting them at risk, too."

"I'll gather the lawyers."

As soon as JJ gathers the corporate lawyers, your entire team stands in front of them to deliver the profile to them. There are about three dozen lawyers in the room of all different backgrounds. You scan the entire room only to stop at someone you recognize. This man used to go to the same high school as you in Dallas. He ran in the crowd that bullied you the most, though, he doesn't seem to recognize you.

"We're looking for a white woman between the ages of twenty-five and thirty. She's being paid between ten and fifteen thousand per session, and she's very well versed in the world of money and privilege."

"Even though she's a call girl, she doesn't look like one. She could pass as a businesswoman or a co-worker. You've probably written up her personal expenses as losses such as shoes, jewelry, and clothing. Your bosses pay her in cash, but they may also be paying her in other ways like taking care of her, getting her a new car, and even paying for her medical bills."

"She probably didn't grow up with a father figure, and she is now turning that rage toward clients who walk out on their families," Emily adds.

"What's going to happen once this woman is caught?" one of the lawyers asks.

"She'll be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law."

"What about the other men she's sleeping with, the ones she doesn't kill? Will they be prosecuted?"

"Right now we're concentrating on stopping her from killing again."

"That's all well and good, but our employers are going to ask us about the risks involved In cooperating with an FBI investigation," another lawyer asks.

"Tell your employers that the risk is not only a physical one. She's compromising privileged information as well. After she sleeps with these men, they talk to her. It's part of the release they get in seeing her. All that dirty laundry you've worked so hard to cover up, she knows it. As long as she's out there, it's not just your clients that are vulnerable. Your firms are, too," you warn.

"Excuse me," a young woman speaks up from the back. "I'm Allison Barnes. I'm a lawyer at Webster Industries where Joseph Fielding worked."

"This is really not the time," Larry tries to stop her.

"We'd like to hear what she has to say. Go ahead, Ms. Barnes."

"A while back, I looked at some paperwork that Mr. Fielding filed about a penthouse downtown. I asked him what he'd be using it for, and he just kind of chuckled and said it was for a friend. Is that the kind of information you're looking for?"

"Do you have an address?" JJ asks and walks over to her.

"Please heed our warning. We're doing our best to get to her before she strikes again. Thank you."

Before the man you recognize can leave the meeting, you walk up to him with a friendly smile on your face.

"Jason? Jason Gavins?"

"Yeah? Don't tell me I'm in trouble," he jokes.

"No, nothing like that. I'm Y/N. We went to North Dallas High School together. Do you remember me or am I just coming off as creepy?" you chuckle.

"No, I remember you. I'm just shocked that you're here. Wow, it's been a long time."

"How have you been?"

"Good. I can tell by your badge that you've been good, too. Wow, the big FBI, huh? I always knew you'd do something special like that."

"What do you mean?"

"Come on. I'm assuming abilities like yours don't go away over time."

"You're right," you chuckle. "This might be a stretch, but did you happen to get a reunion invitation?"

"Yeah. I think it'll be fun to go for a night. Are you going?"

"Maybe for a few hours."

"I hope to see you there," he flirts.

He leaves just as Spencer joins your side.

"What was that about?"

"He and I went to high school together here in Dallas. He ran with the crowd who bullied me, but I don't think he remembers it."

The penthouse that Allison gave JJ is definitely home to the unsub. She must be staying here in between kills. You enter the penthouse knowing you're going to see the same blue energy, but it's driving you crazy not remembering who it belongs to. This place is too clean to have someone live here, which means she might have a different place to live. An initial sweep doesn't come up with anything out of the ordinary, but after spending some time in the bedroom, a few things pop out at you.

"Do you have anything?" Derek asks.

"No, and she seems too smart to leave a receipt lying around."

"Check this out," you say. You open a jewelry box that houses expensive rings and bracelets. "She's got a lot of high-end designer jewelry here, and then this." You pick up a small ring that's not like the others. "It's way too small to be an adult's. She probably kept it from her childhood."

"It's a purity ring. By wearing it, you promise to save yourself for marriage," Emily explains.

"She broke that promise a long time ago." Derek opens her closet doors only to find a leather suit used for sex. "Hey, Y/N, got a whip?"

"Nah, I'm not into that," you laugh.

"There are antique first editions on the bookshelves," you hear Hotch say from the living room.

"There's nothing identifiable. No pictures or sense of personality. Her lifestyle is completely disposable."

"Well, these aren't just for show." Hotch points to the books. "The spines are cracked. Somebody's been reading these. You know, we profiled that she learned to fake privilege. What if she's not faking it?"

"You're saying maybe she came from money the whole time?"

"Maybe."

The living room phone rings, and for some reason, you know that the call is meant for the FBI. It's like someone knows the FBI is in this room right now.

"Y/N or Prentiss should answer. If it's a customer, she'll get more information out of them," Spencer suggests.

"Unless she's calling in for her messages."

Derek takes out his phone and gets Penelope on the line.

"Yeah, Garcia, we're getting a call to this line. Can you work some magic?"

"I don't have a trap-and-trace in place yet. Give me a few."

"Prentiss, get ready to vamp. She's gonna work it."

The machine picks up the call, patching in whoever is calling.

Hi, it's me. You know what to do.

"Aaron. I know you're up there," the unsub says. "Pick up. Aaron Hotchner."

How the hell does she know who Hotch is? He must have run into her without knowing she was the unsub. Hotch looks at everyone before answering the phone. The machine is still on, so you're able to hear her side of the conversation, too.

The thing is, you've heard this voice before. You know this person. At some point in your life, you've either run into this woman or knew her, but where?

"Hello? I'm at a disadvantage. You seem to know my name, but I don't know yours. Can we start there?"

"I thought I could trust you, Aaron."

"Who says you can't?"

"I want to. I even looked you up online. Is that strange?"

"No. It's flattering to be noticed by a woman like you."

"I thought you were so upstanding. I watched the presentation you gave on school shootings. I found it posted on YouTube. For a moment, I actually thought there were still good people in the world."

"I've disappointed you, haven't I? Just like all the other men in your life who've walked out on their families, who deserve to be punished."

"Did you walk out on your family?"

"No, my wife left me."

"Do you have kids?"

"I have a son."

"How often do you see him?"

"I try to see him every week."

"Do you see him every week?"

"No, I don't get there as often as I want," Hotch sighs.

"I believe you, but don't compare yourself to the men I see. You are nothing like them. You're just another whore."

"How am I a whore? You come when called. You do their bidding. In hotels, you take the side elevator to avoid crowds while the men who pay your salary walk across the ivory marble foyer into their cars, but I'm just frustrating you, aren't I?"

"Garcia, anything?" Derek whispers into his phone.

"I'm on the landline, triangulating the cell. Give me sixty seconds."

"What do you mean?" the woman asks.

"You want to show the world all these bad me, and my investigation's just getting in your way."

"No, Aaron. You're not doing your job!" she yells. Your eyes widen in recognition at the exact moment you figure out who this woman is. You cover your mouth to keep your gasp from getting out. "You don't want to arrest me and don't want me in custody because you're in their pocket. You just want me to disappear, just like they do."

"Truthfully, I'm only interested in finding you. You've been betrayed so many times. You don't know who to trust, and that's why that first murder felt so good. However, each one since has been less and less satisfying. You know that's going to continue. Am I right?"

"Yeah," she whispers.

"Come to me and turn yourself in. I will make sure that you get the help you need. I won't let you disappear.

"If we met under different circumstances, I could believe that. I won't let you cover this up."

A gunshot goes off on the other line before she clicks off. She's killed another man, another victim in her pocket.

"Garcia, talk to me," Derek says.

Penelope got the location of the phone call, but as you suspected, the man, Trent Rabner, was already dead inside his car. The only thing to go off of is the phone call she had with Hotch, and it's only until everyone is back at the station do you reveal where you know her from.

"I know who our unsub is."

"You do? How?" Hotch asks.

"The first time I saw her energy at the office firm in the elevator, I recognized it immediately. I came across this woman at some point in my life. The next crime scene only made me realize not only did I come across her, I actually knew her. Then, I heard her speak over the phone and when she got so angry, it clicked in my head.

"Her name is Megan Kane, and I went to high school with her here in Dallas. I caught her and a teacher having sex which resulting him getting fired. She became the laughingstock immediately. Everyone was talking about it. She got so pissed at me, but our unsub is her. My high school is having a reunion, and I'll put all my money on her being there tonight. One of the lawyers we talked to will also be there. He might have seen her or talked to her. He was one of her best friend's boyfriends in high school."

"Have Garcia get us everything she can on Megan Kane," Hotch says. "Morgan and Prentiss, go talk to the lawyer and see if he knows anything."

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[aconflagrationofmyown]

Will we be seeing more of sweet Rosalee’s connection to her father? As an ultimate Daddy’s girl, I hope so. I showered with my Dad until I was in third grade and when they told me I had to start showering alone I refused to shower for like two weeks, I’d scream like if they were murdering me when they tried but my mom’s the tougher one and she was like “Nope she’s going to learn to shower alone!” So she waited me out haha. But even afterwards like in high school I’d have movie nights still with him and I’d lay on top of him on the couch and cuddle. My dad was honestly just the best. He was my best friend. When I had my first kid he went in the hospital room and checked on me first. It’s sad that some people would probably read this and think it’s weird that I was so close to my Dad but to me, it’s more sad that we live in a society where a Dad and daughter can’t be affectionate with each other after a certain age because of the world we live in. My cousins all hated me when I was young because my Dad was the fun uncle but I wouldn’t let him play with other kids! I asked him one time if I bugged him by always being with him but he told me that he was just always scared to fail me which blows my mind because I just always wanted to be near him that’s all I needed. Even after I had my own kid I’d go visit him and lay in the bed with him and bug him and my mom. When he would vacation without me, he would check in with me three times a day and yes, I have siblings but I was the only one who gravitated towards my Dad like that my sister and brother were all about my mom and I’d ask them why if Dad was better and my mom would get upset with me lol! Don’t get me wrong I love LOVE my mom and she knows I do it’s just a different connection. Hope you don’t mind me sharing my memories, Rosalee just wanting to shower with her Daddy and getting a kiss attack on her face until she smiled brought back happy times and I would love to see so much more of that especially because I’m sure Elvis was an amazing father to Lisa Marie too.

P.S I still refer to him as my ‘Daddy’ even now and as I’m from Los Angeles (I think it may be more normal to do so in the South?) so many people tell me that’s weird I hate what people have done to the word Daddy.

Oh my darling anon, this touched my heart so much. We are indeed the lucky ones to have our own connection and memories to draw on, makes me sad for others who would view it through the lens of our unfortunate and broken world. Not everyone’s so fortunate but it’s a beautiful thing and ought to be normalized as much as it can be, the bad always gets more publicity -and while it should always be called out- my goodness, we gotta have representation for the good dads and their devoted little girls.

All of Lisa’s anecdotes suggest such a connection with Elvis, and even the way she respected and honored the man who was her daddy (even though she called him Elvis, haha) more than the legend she could have, touches me. I love it and have tried to bring that to Sarge and give a various connections to each kid but Rosalee is that one special baby who relies fully on him, and that’s quite the weight for him as Elaine is so capable he’s used to the kids finding her sufficient, but not this child, she needs him at all times and I think he’d love that and take it seriously.

All that to say, YES WE WILL GET SO MUCH MORE OF THEM including when she’s an adult and a child. If you ever have any prompts you’d particularly like to see, from memory or otherwise, please send them in!! This is another reason I chose Riley as her faceclaim, I wanted his Rosalee to be his real relative and Riley’s got his bright grin, in my opinion.

Can’t thank you enough for this sweet note, you’ve made my night.

Much love, Marina 💋🎀💋

[rainwaterapothecary]

"Unsettled" pt. 6

Serennedy Golden Compass AU [Lore][Pt. 1][Pt. 2][Pt.3][Pt.4][Pt.5]

[TW this chapter: Dictators, implied transphobia, gas chamber mentioned. This is a fun au and I don't want anyone blind-sided.]

Luis' Mind, The Past

Panza had Settled shortly after the boat touched down in Portugal. Abuelo had tried to keep his grandson’s spirits up, but after the Depression had taken Abuelo’s job and killed Luis’ search for higher education and left them with nothing but two suitcases and two daemons… well, Panza lost his color but never his spirit.

“African Gray Parrots are very smart creatures, you know? There’s mi joya.” Luis smiled with his eyes as Panza leaned into his Bonded’s fingers for scritches. Leon raised an eyebrow.

“Makes sense. Don’t think I’ve ever seen one- Ah.”

Luis snickered with his daemon as it swapped forms but Leon just smirked and rolled his eyes. Showoffs. At least some things never change.

Even then, when things were bleak and Luis had left everything he held dear (that couldn’t fit in his suitcase… so the things that mattered like Leon and his Nonna), his soul still found a way to have a shock of color. Panza strutted across the table as Luis bragged about his ‘little jewel’, the red plume in his tailfeathers catching the light like he was dancing.

Can’t keep a good man down.

“Things were…hard, amigo. There’s no other way to put it. He thought that once we made it back to Valdelobos, to familia, things would look up somehow. I…don’t know what his plan was.” Panza had begun dancing at Fiorire where she sat looking up at the table, rocking side to side and flaring his wings. Luis sighed.

“We lived in the village for a little while, Tío was still there, and the farm.”

Leon wrinkled his nose in sympathy, even so many years later he remembered how much Luis hated farm work. Always the daydreamer, never the manure shoveler.

“But he got me books! And after…” The two men let the weight of Abuelo Serra’s life settle over the conversation, having already said everything that needed to be said about the end of a quiet, strong man and his levelheaded Cuca hen.

Luis whistled a tune quietly, giving his daemon accompaniment in his tango of feathers and cheek before continuing. Fiofire sent Leon a look that both rolled her eyes and betrayed her amusement.

‘Leave it to Luis to try to cheer you up while he tells you heavy shit’, her look said. Leon rolled his eyes and smiled at her in reply.

“Panza and I made our way to Madrid for school, that was around 1932? 1933?”

“I was working at a grocery store in 1932, ol’ McAlister’s place.”

“Oh? Good for you!”

“Mm, continue.”

“Well…then things got …ugly.” Luis shook his head and his daemon paused to send his Bonded a look. Luis shook himself out of it. “The regime that came along… didn’t like, well, me, to put it kindly. Very Catholic.” Leon winced for him.

A smirk that heralded mischief that looked so good on Luis’ features lit him from within and the scientist winked.

“So we went underground. Found our own way, taught others, learned things.” His normally-beautiful eyes were dancing like all the Dust in his body had decided now was its time to shine.

“We stormed the records office and put together a few things that wouldn’t be missed…with quite a few things that would, and then we got out of there. My cómplice, my herd of students and academics bent on changing the world, Leon. It started with Spain and El Caudillo, but it was going to be so much more. Imagine it, Leon: Great minds like mine bent on making things better…”

The ex-soldier rested his cheek on one fist and just took in his friend. How different their lives had become since they were parted.

Luis had fought a war in secret for his people, his classmates and teammates. Leon had been dragged into fighting for a country that didn’t want to admit that it was made up of kids like him.

They both loved their countries, don’t get him wrong, it’s just that the fighting had taken very different tolls.

Luis shook his head to clear it.

“Then that God-damned war.” Luis drew in a shaky breath at the memories, drawing a hand down his face. Leon had a good enough grasp on the Spanish language to understand the names and circumstances Luis was implying, giving an identity to those he had lost while Leon sat at that table with his Nonna and a pencil.

“’Neutrality’, my ass.”

Luis’ hand dropped to the table, startling the other three before he waved it all off.

“So we came back to the states, ey Panza?” Better than being a smart ‘homosexual’ in a country that shook hands with the gas chambers. Leon didn’t blame him. Luis stopped picking at his rings when Leon settled a hand atop his.

“Even then they tried to get me to fight, you know?” Luis smirked at his bird, now a green parrot of some kind. “Took one look at my chart and sent me to the government. I didn’t even have to sit through a physical!” Leon chuckled and shook his head.

“Of course.”

Luis chuckled and bounced one shoulder to call his daemon up it. A massive skunk with an even bigger, more luxurious tail skittered up to sit on his shoulder.

“But they were interested in my Dust research. Had gotten copies of the papers I had published before the Academy kicked me out for what was beneath my clothes.” Luis shrugged easily at this, like it was just trivia he knew. Leon’s heart ached for his friend: so smart but so many barriers.

Luis stood up and walked over to his bookshelf, trailing a finger over bound books of different sizes and quality. On his shoulder, Panza trailed his tail over Luis’ cheek and rested it across his human’s shoulders.

“When I saw Galatea pass, it was the first time I had seen Dust in so pure a form. It made me wonder, later, when I got the chance to be intellectual about it: What makes this substance so special? Surely there was some connection between body, soul, and Dust but what?"

Leon’s lips began to grin without his knowledge as his friend walked him through the particles that hold the world together.

Watching Luis Serra Nevarro talk about science and adventure is like watching a poet or a play: He moved.

He became the topic he was thinking about and he got so excited he had to move about the room. Panza flitting around him on flickering firefly wings or snapping his jaws on the man’s heels, ringed fingers catching the light as he danced his way through papers he’d researched and experiments he’d run with names that aligned with people he’d lost.

“But the possibilities were too vast!” Luis spun on his heel, hair billowing around cheeks dusted with the glittering fractals of stubble. “So I turned to Panza! Panza?”

An unsettlingly large iguana scrambled up his back, long claws gripping soft fabric like fingers. Leon tried not to think too hard about that. Fiorire’s glance told him she caught it all the same.

“Panza! ¡Sí, bueno! I said ‘daemons are Dust incarnate, to some extent, so let’s turn the research on its head!’.” Both halves of Luis Serra suddenly looked at Leon with bright eyes and in that instant Luis was not the only man breathless.

“So what did you do?” Leon asked, pinned to the spot by their eyes.

Luis smirked at the lizard on his shoulder before flipping his wrist around to pinch his fingers together like a teardrop.

The scientist, thrumming with energy, closed his eyes...

Panza exploded in a silent display of light and glittering particulates. Gold spun around like a whirlwind with its eyes on Luis and Luis alone, frantic particles of Dust in a storm that toyed with the ends of Luis’ curly hair and enveloped the tall, lean man in a vision of gold and white light. Faster and faster the powders wove and danced, gray eyes snapping open to glow the gold of his soul in Panza’s stead.   

Luis opened his hand in a snap of motion and the chaos froze, millions of tiny stars stopping their spirals like a toy tornado of blown glass.

The light, blinding in its coagulation, molded a puddle of corium into his waiting palm, cosmic discord contained in shape once more.

When the scientist tilted his hand towards Leon, resting on his palm sat a blue morpho butterfly delicately waving its wings. The wild storm was contained in a Panza-shaped-box, tucked safely inside of the scientist’s very soul once more.

Leon sat stunned. Fiorire forgot to breathe.

Then Panza slipped through Luis’ fingers to bounce into an overweight pug who play-bowed to her. She sniffed him in frantic concern.

Luis shook out his hands and tilted his head, that manic light banking back into his normal, warm smile. Panza had helped himself to the golden glow, Leon noted, leaving only the calming sea-gray in his friend’s deep irises.

“Sancho?”

Leon’s hands were on him in a moment.

Everywhere he could reach, anything he could touch to reassure himself that this foolish, genius man was still alive and whole.

“You- Lu- You’re so-“

“Never do that again, capice?! Never, do you fucking hear me?” The panic in her voice brought the other two Bonded up short.

A gentle hand touched the back of the shaking one Leon had on Luis’ cheek. The scientist leaned into the hand cupping his face and looked into Leon’s pinprick pupils.

Acres of understanding were held in the soft look the man with the zoetrope heart gifted to his oldest and dearest friend.

“I’m fine, my friend. We’re just fine. I spent a long time researching how to pull off that little trick, and-“

“It’s not some parlor trick, Luis!” Leon snapped, shaking his head so hard his forelock bounced off of his cheek. “Fucking around with them- with the daemons is a death sentence, did you not hear me when I talked about the training and the way scientists were ripping the hearts out of kids?!”

He hadn’t meant to yell, especially not while holding Luis’ face between his hands with his daemon almost pinning Panza to the floor.

With effort and a sudden cut in volume, Leon took a shuddering breath and dropped his head forward to think. Luis’ free hand crept up to hold Leon’s other hand where it sat shaking alone on his cheek.

A susurration of scales against the scrubbed wood floor was all the warning Fiorire got before Panza was out of her grasp and mirroring their human’s hold on her face. White fur quivered as the wolf panted, meeting her friend’s golden eyes over the monkey’s proboscis nose.

Leon somehow dredged up the strength to raise his head.

Luis’ soul held his, the warmth of Panza’s small hands spreading like honey through Leon’s torso.

Sharp, pointed blue eyes met accepting gray.

Luis smiled, a gentle and supportive thing.

Leon kissed him.

It wasn’t quite angry, and it was definitely desperate, not the kind of first kiss Leon would have picked for them had he had the choice, but even as their lips got caught between clicking teeth, Luis’ hands softly moved to Leon’s sides, lengthening each press of lips and teeth and tongue until it was just a soft mouth giving, giving, giving while frantic, erratic breaths took, took, took.

At least Leon’s teeth weren’t making his partner’s lip bleed anymore.

With a long sigh into the other man’s mouth, Leon gave up.

Now, as he collapsed into the taller man’s chest Luis stood firm.

Before, when Leon had been putting all his weight onto his friend in the snow he hadn’t been focusing on the fact that Luis was taking his whole weight.

Then again, hadn’t he always?

Leon was the violent one - the hairpin trigger, the flash-bang, the cut lip and bloodied nose.

Luis wasn’t.

He was reading books aloud under trees when Leon’s head hurt from when the words moved around the page too much. He was making a noise to distract the bullies or the adults Leon had gotten on the wrong side of so they could get away. He was the one who always knew where to pinch a nose to stop its bleeding and how cold air should be when you blow on a cut.

So this time, just once more, he leaned on Luis.

And Luis held him together.

---

Also! As of writing (2024) African Grey Parrots are the smartest animal we've studied in-depth! It's said that they have the intelligence of a human 3-year-old, but I think they're probably smarter in ways that couldn't be tested at the time. Look up Alex the African Grey for more info! It's really interesting.

A/N

I had so much FUCKING fun writing the scene where Luis completely disassembles his daemon. Like. Oh my god that man.

...And what does that say about Panza's Bonded, I wonder. ;)

Memes and silly thoughts are on my blog under the tag #serennedy daemon au and we have fun here.

[thecommunityoftrustworthysinks]

came across a long meta post about gojo (and nanami, but primarily gojo) regarding approaches to the child soldier problem, and gojo's teaching style, among other things like selfishness and other things, and overall i enjoyed the post although i didn't agree with all of it, but it was well written and not slandering of anyone

one thing i noted was missing though in op's discussion, which is probably just an experience thing, was the experience of actually teaching kids in a corrupt system that you can't immediately change

so the tl;dr of the post im responding to (at least the part im "responding to" here) was that gojo is an 'ends justify the means' person (i agree) and he wants the students as political allies not like a caretaker would (this, yes and no) and he still endangers the students' lives by wanting them to just get stronger for their safety and sending them into dangerous fights, specifically contrasting in a way to how nanami strongly maintains the child/adult boundary, verbally telling yuuji he's a child and nanami is responsible for watching out for him (these things are also true).

so first i wanna say the op did not favor any character over another and im not doing that either because these things actually complement each other perfectly. just wanted to get that out of the way

anyway, what i think that perspective is missing is, like i said, what it's like to be a teacher of students in a system that is completely antagonistic to them, traumatizes them, and is designed to beat them down. i work in education, and i have for a few years now with ages from pre-k to college. specifically recently, i did a lot with sat/act prep kids.

i hate standardized tests. they're ableist, racist, classist, they don't reflect anything the kids actually learn in school in any familiar order, the testing environment is hostile at best, it's yet another number that kids put onto their worth, it's another way for colleges to discriminate, it's another part of our whole fucked up awful school system where kids get 4-8 hours of homework a night while expected to sleep and socialize and go to school for 8 hours not to mention extracurriculars and on and on. i don't think i need to tell tumblr everything wrong with the school system, it's pretty widely discussed here KJHDFGF

but no matter how bad it is, i can't change that. i can't get rid of the sat/act on my own. i can't make it so kids get less homework and more time to live their lives in peace. i can't make it so parents don't abuse their kids for getting a B. i can't fix it all alone.

what i can do, is help the kids through it, and i can teach them what it should be like, or at least what's wrong with it now. i work them through the prep material which does include its own question sets and practice tests that have their own grueling aspects. but i also validate their complaints about too much homework, i openly criticize standardized tests for the reasons listed above. and i can hope that i will give them the courage and knowledge to stand up against the system in the future, either with people like me by their side, or alone.

to use the language from the original post, i want them as my allies. i do. i don't think there's anything wrong with that. it sucks they have to live this way, but they have to live this way right now. it doesn't mean i don't care about them, in fact the exact opposite. i do this precisely because i care about every student, and i care about future students, and we need to inspire future generations to do better for their own future and the futures of their children. we do that by doing as good as we can for them while still enabling them with the tools to make it through this shitty system while it still exists.

of course gojo wants allies from the kids. that's how you enact change. that's exactly what teaching is for. yes, he still does send them into battles and expect them to get stronger and fight. they live in a world where the people in charge can (and DID) send three teenagers with misinformation into a fight that isolated them with a special grade spirit way above all their levels, just to kill ONE kid. they clearly did not care about the collateral damage of megumi and nobara in that situation, just to get yuuji killed. they also did that when gojo was gone, because they knew he would argue. as long as that's the world they live in, i can't fault gojo for a second for operating in that structure to make them stronger because if those are the risks they're facing then that's what they need to survive.

im not saying it's perfect, or that he's perfect. absolutely not. he is often careless and impulsive and blind to risks he's putting other people through. that and caring for his students can exist at the same time. i wanted to specifically disagree with the assessment that the allies he wants from the students are just political, and it's unrelated to any care he may have for them. (not to mention separately he says "no one can take youth from the young" etc on other occasions but i digress)

conversely, since the op mentioned it, nanami is operating against the structure. he has the (correct) ideal that kids should not have to deal with this shit and die for it, so he forces that into reality by asking yuuji to stand back and let him take charge of the fight, because he's the adult. and that's actually completely necessary to have alongside something like what gojo is doing. the kids need to learn how to operate and survive in the system so they can enact change later, and they also need someone who's willing to demonstrate what reality should be like to them right in front of them. honestly those things go hand in hand exactly as they should. they believe the same thing, they’re just going about it in different ways.

tl;dr, when teaching in a broken system, often the most you can do to change it for the better is just work within it while also talking about what should be changed, in hopes that one day that change can actually happen, and that's what gojo is doing when he says he wants his students as "allies"

[shortpplfedup]

My School President Episode 12: Curtain call

When a great show comes to an end there's always nerves about whether they can stick the landing. I'm here to tell you: My School President absolutely has, not a wobble. This show is about standing on the cusp of adulthood, about to take that first step into the future, and everything that comes along with that, looking backward and forward at the same moment. This episode put an exclamation point on that theme, not just for our boys, but for the people around them and the world they're inhabiting. Throw in a couple of absolute banger anthemic OSTs and they couldn't have ended this little high-school-musical-that-could any better. In this final episode, we say goodbye (for now, Our Skyy is coming) to Chinzhilla and crew.

Verse: The kids are alright

Love's in need of love today Don't delay Send yours in right away Hate's goin' 'round Breaking many hearts Stop it please Before it's gone too far, yeah

Stevie Wonder | Love's In Need of Love Today (1976)

One thing I don't envy about kids today is how exposed they are. As an elder Millennial, I straddle the line between the pre-internet world and the ubiquitous social media age, but I was already an adult when Facebook exploded into life. I can't imagine the pressure of trying to figure yourself out as a teenager in a world where it must feel like everybody sees everything you do and has an opinion on it. But the flipside of that is slowly becoming 'and?'. The student body's vociferous and overwhelmingly positive support for Tinn and Gun as a couple once the secret's out just about drowns out the bullshit coming from the adults about 'reputation' and 'manliness'. The kids are better than us, and they've got each other's backs, and they will ABSOLUTELY DECK A SHITTY TEACHER FOR SAYING A BUNCH OF HOMOPHOBIC GARBAGE OMG KAJORN! One of my favourite quotes of all time is from Martin Luther King Jr.: the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice. Change takes a long time, but things DO get better, they're getting better every day, every moment. The dinosaurs do seem long lived, and they do lay eggs, but they're being outnumbered by the humans more and more. I watch these kids do their very best to be good to each other, and I feel like the good guys are winning.

Chorus: Rock & Star

For once in my life, I have someone who needs me Someone I've needed so long For once, unafraid, I can go where life leads me Somehow I know I'll be strong For once I can touch what my heart used to dream of Long before I knew Ooh, someone warm like you Would make my dreams come true

Stevie Wonder | For Once In My Life (1968)

Gosh Tinn and Gun are lovely aren't they? The way they care for each other, how upset Gun is that Tinn was outed before he was ready, how responsible and guilty he feels about that, how he tries to put some distance between them to save Tinn's reputation, and how Tinn says 'screw all that shit, we're standing together'...that's love. How Tinn's winding up to punch that shitty teacher in the face for making Gun cry before Kajorn does it for him...that's love. How Gun wrote 'Rock & Star' from his heart and sings it directly to Tinn at prom, in front of everybody, telling everybody how he feels live on stage just like he promised he would if they won Hot Wave...that's love. Gun nervously practising how to greet Tinn's dad when he goes over to their house for dinner...that's love. And to top it all off, one very sweet, perfect kiss.

Bridge: A Tale of Two Moms

As today I know I'm living But tomorrow could make me the past But that I mustn't fear For I'll know deep in my mind The love of me I've left behind 'Cause I'll be loving you always

Stevie Wonder | As (1976)

I told y'all the words that were going to come out of Potjanee's mouth were 'I'm sorry', and I was right! I love how the show juxtaposed the two moms' conversations with their sons this ep, with Gun and Ms. Gim showing how easy it can be when you are open with your kid, and Tinn and Ms. Potjanee showing how it can be a struggle to communicate when you haven't created that environment. Gun is nervous to tell Ms. Gim, but not fearful. Tinn on the other hand...it's almost like he's bracing for impact the closer Ms. Potjanee gets to asking about it. Both moms love their kids and their kids know and feel it. Both moms are actually ok in the end with their kids being queer. But only one kid felt safe enough to tell their mom they were dating a boy. It's important nuance, that subtle difference in trust level. The pressures and expectations you put on your kids, what you label as important, they're seeing and feeling all of that, not just what you say. In this case, the messages growing up were different: from Ms. Gim, 'do what makes you happy' and from Ms. Potjanee 'do the right thing'. Neither is WRONG, but again that subtle difference. The circumstances were less than ideal, but I'm glad Tinn got to see his mom stand up so forcefully for his happiness, not just his rightness.

Outro: Chinzhilla forever

Music is a world within itself With a language we all understand With an equal opportunity For all to sing, dance and clap their hands

Stevie Wonder | Sir Duke (1976)

And so we say farewell to Chinzhilla, or at least to this iteration of it, with the promise of a new Chinzhilla to come as juniors apply to the club in waves. There's a comfort to knowing that even as we leave this universe, there will soon be some new group of kids who will become friends...nay, a family, eating BBQ pork, playing video games, making offerings to the Holy Chinchilla, and learning the chords for 'You Got Ma Back'.

Ad Libs

Of course our baby Por is the only Chinzhilla who DIDN'T know or figure out about Tinn and Gun. Sweet summer child. Who's going to law school. Prime setup for a BL Legally Blonde GMMTV!

Poor Pat, the 9th (!) wheel.

I didn't have a Sound/Win kiss on my bingo card, but that was a lovely little surprise. I adore these two.

So Pat is gonna be a pharmacist, Yo, a politician (!), Por a lawyer, Sound an actor, Win a sound engineer and Gun...Gun's gonna be a musician. Not bad for a bunch of slackers.

[fangerine]

i'm not jewish. i think, maybe a great great grandparent was but that's neither here nor there. but even though i'm not jewish, i was always made aware from a young age how rampant anti-semitism is in not just the united states where i live but globally. when i was 12, my mom encouraged (made me) read "the diary of anne frank". i believe it was only then that i began to truly recognize just how horrible the holocaust was. i don't think my public education did a very good job of teaching people how evil it really was. there seemed to be some sort of assumption that kids "just know". we didn't see the horrors of it actually displayed in books. i know that a world history class can't spend the entire time on one event but a few pages can't ever grasp the ruthless slaughter of six million innocent people. memorizing numbers and dates for some test worth five points will never get the message across to kids that something as horrible as that happened much less than a hundred years ago.

i grew up christian. i'm not anymore but i will never EVER in the good ol' united states of america be afraid of being attacked for my religion. christians can fuckin' whine and complain all they want about being "persecuted" but the fact is that in 2021, the FBI reported that over 50% of religion-related hate crimes were anti-jewish.

over fifty fucking percent.

we always say "never forget" and "never again" but you can find countless surveys where an alarming amount of people either don't know or fervently deny that SIX MILLION PEOPLE WERE SLAUGHTERED FOR BEING JEWISH.

i know the persecution of jews goes much further back than the holocaust but hopefully, my point is clear.

in the past few weeks, i saw a burned apartment door of an elderly jewish couple in paris. they would have been toddlers when germany occupied france in 1940. i saw jewish families in germany with the star of david spray painted on their doors. i've seen people in protests proudly waving nazi flags in new york city. samantha woll, a synagogue leader was just murdered outside of her home in detroit. i can go on but i think you see the picture.

i'm not jewish but i don't need to be for these disgusting acts to horrify me. what i've come to realize (and maybe this is wrong) is that the hatred of jews has become so frequent in our society, that it's not really looked at anymore. it's not "newsworthy" and therefore, many people just don't care.

i'm not sure what i can do except speak up. i fear for the safety of jews all around the world. there are so many ignorant and hateful people out there making it so dangerous. jewish families aren't sending their children out of fear that something could happen at their schools. jewish people are scared so please, don't be ignorant. know the history. for non-jews like myself, we have a duty to educate ourselves and listen to a group of people who have been targeted and violently persecuted for centuries.

for jews who see this post. i'm sorry this increase in hatred towards your community is happening. i can't possibly begin to know how you must be feeling but know that you aren't being ignored by everyone. your cries for justice are NOT unheard.

if there is anything that i can do to help, please reach out. if there's anything wrong with this post, please say something. i am trying my best to be educated but know i don't and will most likely never have the full picture. i would love to add links, resources, and whatever else that is useful and important.

[foster-the-world]

Aw, man

Last night the district wide school board meeting turned into a debate about Israel. With some claiming the DOE is not doing "enough." Apparently enough means they haven't yet written a email condemning the kidnappings in Israel? With claims they would have already sent a letter if it was black people. I guess the district is waiting on a legal team to approve language. So it should go out today or tmrw. Not good enough for these people. I don't get it. The DOE did send a letter condemning racism and it doesn't do shit to protect my kids. We are still in the most segregated school system in the nation. I am 100% confident the man claiming they "would have already done it if it was black people." made sure his children were in the majority white schools. The anti-racism letter didn't change his desire to segregate his children so why would a anti-semitism letter help jewish students? Writing a letter condemning the kidnappings in Israel is not going to protect my kids one bit nor help the children who were kidnapped. Our district has migrant children pouring in every single week. Let's talk about how we can support them. Letter or no letter I do not care.

I left that meeting to go to our schools PTA meeting. We did spend a good amount of time talking about how we can help the new migrant children who started at our school last week. Apparently 1000 more children entered the district on Friday - set to start next week. My 2nd graders class got three more students last week. Rebel's 1st grade class got two more students. We've been working on our Spanish at home and making sure the girls include them. I'm so glad we are at a school where we teach the kids to welcome their new friends. I have no doubt the uniform, clothing, coat drive will be fully funded - even though we have a school full of low income parents who aren't exactly rolling in the dough.

This morning I'm talking to the Principal about the clothing/Halloween costume drive when she gets a text message and looks horrified. Apparently a lower grade kid told their teacher they can't be around them because they are Jewish and their Mom told them Jewish people are dangerous. So fucked up. Poor baby being taught that hate and poor teacher having to hear it from a student she pours her hard work into.

I'm not really worried about my girls hearing shitty things. As mentioned they are tough and can handle themselves. The toughness does mean they can be jerks but also means they wouldn't hesitate to fight back if someone says shit like that to them. People have said other shitty things to them and they returned with the 6yo version of "go fuck yourself" and were indignant more then hurt. *Obviously they didn't use the f word. They have a solid group of friends in their class who would know to defend them. Although we are going to have a talk about what to say if someone talks negatively about Juduism or if they hear someone say anything racist/prejudice/etc to themselves or any of their friends. We've had the general talk before but probably need to be more specific on the Jewish side of things. Every year my husband and I bring Hanukkah celebration stuff to their class. Everyone is always very receptive. Last year Bee's teacher was Jewish. They've generally had at least one jewish family in their class - although that dwindles in the older grades. We live two doors down from the JCC - so they go to classes there so do get to spend time around Jewish children regardless. This semester they are taking an art class there and we go to the shabbat dinners sometime.

Bee has a Ukrainian girl in her class - well her grandparents are from Ukraine. So Bee came home last year talking about how people are murdering babies "as soon as they come out" in the Ukrainian war. Now this year her little friend is from Israel - so she comes home with more horror stories he hears from home and interprets into six year old language. The world we are giving our children is not okay.

[hero-deserves-to-be-happy]

for the oc asks 2 and 12 for kyle?

Thank you so much for playing the OC interview game we reblogged! We'd be delighted to answer some Kyle questions (or...er..."have Kyle answer them" lol 😂). Take care!! 💙

KYLE Answers:

2. Who is your best friend?  Tell us about them!

Oh definitely Zuzu (Zoey), but Mama (Hero) is a close second! 😁

Zoey has been my best friend since high school. She was a lot different back then (don't tell her, but I like her a lot better now 😂), but she was still really cool. She was the smartest kid in our class (except Gabe but he's mean), and when I had to miss school for all those knee surgeries, she would come over to my house and tutor me so I wouldn't fall behind and have to repeat a grade! We kind of knew each other before that because St. Al's (our private high school) was pretty small, but we didn't really hang out or anything until she started tutoring me. That's when we became friends, and we've been friends ever since!

I try to make sure she remembers to have fun, but that doesn't always work, especially since she hates parties. She thinks that I'm too irresponsible and I don't know when to stop or shut up sometimes and she'll always call me out on that, but I know she'll always be there for me. And that's a real friend, I think.

Hero is like that too. He's just a nice guy and takes care of people without wanting anything from them. He has a lot more patience for me and will actually go along with my ideas or what Zuzu would call my "shenanigans" sometimes. He also laughs at a lot more of my jokes! I wish he got out there a little bit more and had a little more fun instead of spending his Friday nights studying and organizing his sock drawer, but we're working on it!

12. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? (on vacation or permanently!)

I've travelled a lot and always have a lot of fun visiting new places, especially meeting new people and collecting postcards to send to my friends back home!

But if you want to know where I'd like to travel...my brother, Ken, lives in Beijing right now, and I'd really like to visit him, but I think he's too busy with work and probably doesn't have time to see me. 😅 Zuzu really wants to go to Seville to see this really cool bridge there. She's always been a little disappointed that it was built after her family had moved away from Spain so she never got to see it, so maybe I'd take her there if I could even though I honestly don't know anything about bridges. I've seen pictures of this one though. It's pretty cool, I guess, for a bridge...

But...if I got to pick, I think I'd have to go with a ski trip to Vermont with my friends! My family has a ski lodge there, and I think it would be super fun to travel there together, maybe for spring break or something! I'll have to see if I can get them on board (I doubt I'd be able to convince Brandi to travel anywhere with me, but I'll try 😁)

I'm not sure where I'd like to live permanently. I'm honestly pretty happy in the city, and I liked Seaport (where I grew up) too!