#I hate it when games don't let you pause in moment where your character can die because it's WAY too much

[eldrichfuck666]

I died so much fucking times in episode 2 of Song of Horror that after another try to complete it with the character I choose I saved it closed the game and still haven't opened it yet (... It's been a week? two? who knows..) 👍🏾

[saetoru]

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。what if you’re someone i just want around (i’m falling again)

synopsis. somewhere along the line, you started to hate suguru—that doesn’t mean you stopped loving him too

— word count. 9.5k (i am in misery)

— contents. post canon! au — fix it! (we all need a good fix it fic with suguru don't lie), this fic was started before recent manga chapters so the higher ups are still alive—just go with it ok :,), geto survives + lives free of kenjaku, exes to lovers, kind of redemption i suppose, mentions of blood, injuries, and weight loss (geto), mentions of canon character deaths (nanako, mimiko, nanami), mentions of wanting to raise children with geto and have a family, no gendered terms but reader has a personality and actual thoughts and feelings, references to the hunger games (you have movie night lol), BFF satoru (he is babie), there is a kiss y’all !! (scandalous i know :O)

— notes. i started this fic back in march and i had trouble with it and put it on pause for a while. i’m very glad i finished it in the end. i always like fix it! fics and this is self-indulgent and idk if ppl will read it bc it’s sfw but it’s ok if they don’t, i loved writing it. thank you koi for beta-reading this whole bad boy. mwah <333

the day suguru is declared a free man is actually the day he signs away his freedom for good. 

you say nothing, but you know it’s the truth. satoru fights tooth and nail to plead suguru’s case—you think it’s perhaps a little too desperate for it to be in the best interest of suguru and not himself. but satoru has suffered enough, and admittedly—although you deny it—a small part of you does not want to lose suguru twice. you watch as satoru argues that suguru has already died once—surely he can’t die again? and losing control of his body and mind is paying for his crimes enough, is it not? he argues that there are no ideals left for a man like geto suguru to chase after losing himself to every principle he had left. 

and then satoru wins. 

you expect it, but it doesn’t make it any easier. you watch numbly as suguru is assigned under your watch. you should be happy. you love suguru—you never stopped. but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s not a free man, and now he drags your freedom with his. you’ll never break away from him, never cut through the ropes that tie your hands behind your back and bind you to him—and then you wonder for a moment, unsure if it’s selfish or selfless or some cruel in-between to think this way, if geto suguru was better off dead. 

whether that’s for your sake, or his, you’re not sure. 

and yes, he’s let off alive, and sure, there’s no real punishment for all he’s done, but you know deep down he’s as chained and shackled as he’s ever been. he’s not allowed to leave the house unless you or satoru are there to chaperone, and it’s never to be anywhere near non-sorcerers. he’s not to live in a place of his own until the higher up’s deem him trustworthy. he has to ask you to buy the things he wants from the grocery store. he can’t even step outside for a smoke unless you’re aware. 

for a long time, he doesn’t speak much—can hardly muster a barely audible mornin’ back when you force a smile and greet him cheerily for breakfast. slowly, it turns into half-snarky conversations that get cut short by one of you leaving the room. finally, you’re civil—maybe even friendly. you’re not so sure where you stand with him as of now.

it’s not the same suguru you remember falling in love with, it’s not even close to the version of the man you fell for all those years ago. it’s hard having him here—some days you’re angry and want to throw him out, to scream at him for haunting you again just when you think you’ve moved on from the horrors of your past. some days you want to cry and cling to him, bury your face into his neck and thank him for being here again, for finding his way back to you. and some days you wish you never met him at all, that this would all be easier if it didn’t exist in the first place. 

he’s not the same geto suguru you loved, but somehow, because life is as bitter as it is ruthless, you fall in love with this version just as hard no matter how much you deny it. 

“i made your favorite,” you smile gently, placing a neat plate of french toast with freshly cut strawberries on the side. you even take great care to get the syrup-to-powdered sugar ratio he likes right, but he doesn’t make a move to reach for the plate. instead, suguru sits at the table stiffly, like he has to be here or there are consequences for that too. it almost makes you sad—even here, he’s not free. 

“thanks,” he says quietly, “but i’m not hungry.”

“you said that last night, suguru,” you sigh, “and at lunch. and at breakfast. and at dinner the night before—”

“i’ll eat it later,” he cuts you off, playing with the ends of his hair. 

it’s a lot shorter now. it’s you who finds his body battered and bruised after the smoke clears. he’s almost unrecognizable, not the same charming and perfect suguru you’re used to seeing. not the same silkened strands and smooth skin, not the same muscled and toned body, not the same chiseled jaw and soft cheeks. instead, he’s a shell of himself. his hair is matted in knots, his body is almost frail, and you notice the sunken hollows of his cheeks and dark undereyes as you lift him from the rubble a little too easily. but his body is his own—that much you can tell from the way the stitches have disappeared. 

it takes shoko a long time to nurse him back to health—it takes even longer for him to open his eyes.

you waited day and night by his side, hand over his as he breathed slowly, unconscious and unsuspecting. it would be so easy, you think one night, it would be so easy to kill him and forget and move on. 

you’ve already grieved him once before. you’ve felt and conquered the pain of loving geto suguru and losing him first to himself and then to death. but love is as selfish as it is selfless, and it’s under your mercy that you let him live—yet it’s under your cowardice that you keep him close. 

“you have to gain back the weight you lost, suguru,” you sigh, “you’re w—”

“weak?” he finishes for you, eyeing you for a second and then grinning. it’s unsettling, a grin that makes your skin crawl and your heart stop for a moment before he’s reaching for the fork and stabbing into his toast. “is that what you wanted to say? that i’m weak?”

“suguru, you know that’s not how i meant—”

“you’re not wrong,” he hums, chewing on the first bite as he speaks, “i suppose i am pretty weak right now, huh? couldn’t even kill you in your sleep if i tried could i?”

your throat is dry as you shrug, “i suppose not,” you whisper. 

“ah,” he grins again, “but that doesn’t stop you from locking your door every night, does it?” 

suguru is still healing. his body is weak, and sometimes, he leans against the wall as he walks. his arm is healed—you’re not entirely sure how, but you catch him rolling the shoulder out every now and then like it’s sore and stiff. he’s lost a lot of weight—part of it is from being bedridden for as long as he was, injured and half alive, and part of it is from barely eating—save for the few bites you force into him. you never thought there’d be a day when you could say this—but the odds of you beating suguru in hand-to-hand combat are high, and the reality is an everlasting reminder that he is not who you fell for. 

you swallow, letting out a shaky breath as he watches you closely, diligently cutting another bite from the french toast sitting on his plate as he stares you down like he can see past your soul. you don’t know what’s scarier—that suguru can still practically see yours, or that you’re unsure he even has one anymore. 

“you tried coming in?” you ask, unsure what else to say. he merely shrugs, takes another bite, and sets his fork down. 

“thought i’d check on you,” he pops a strawberry half into his mouth as he speaks.

“is that what it really was?” you raise a brow, “or was i right to lock the door?”

you’re not sure why you lock the door at night. maybe it’s because you don’t trust him, or maybe it’s because you don’t want him near you just yet. you’re not sure. you’re not sure how satoru can go back to his cheery self, how he can step through your door and boom a loud yo, suguru! before settling beside suguru on the couch with his feet on the coffee table as he rambles away. maybe it’s not real—maybe it’s satoru desperately pretending that if he tries hard enough, things can go back to how they were. 

but you don’t know how he still has the energy to try, and you don’t know if you have it in you to try anymore yourself. 

you and suguru stare each other down like that for a bit, the tension rising with every silent second that passes. you’re sure he doesn’t want to be here as much as you don’t want him around—but you’re also sure he’s glad it’s here with you as much as you’re glad it’s with no one else.

“you tell me,” he smirks after a bit, the hint of amusement making your fists clench. how dare he have the audacity to look at you like that in your own home? like he has the upper hand over you without trying? “what do you think i was there for?”

“i think you should stay in your room, suguru,” you say carefully, “i bought a new bed just for that room.”

“how sweet of you,” he hums. he sips the tea before him—it’s cold by now, but it’s just how he likes it, rose with one sugar. “you must have been excited to have me.”

“hardly,” you mumble bitterly—you can’t help it. you want him to feel hurt, even just a little. you want him to know that just because he’s back, it doesn’t mean you’ve waited all this time for him to be. liar, a part of you says, you’ve always waited for him, haven’t you? but suguru doesn’t seem phased—he doesn’t even blink.

“then tell me, why am i here?” suguru asks, his tone is as casual as ever. 

i wish i knew, you want to say. i wish i knew but i don’t.

“because satoru asked you to be,” is all you can say.

he nods, pushing back his plate and standing up, offering you that same grin. “you’re right,” he hums, “that’s exactly why i’m here.”

it hits you why his smile is so unsettling once he leaves—it’s almost genuine, like he’s still loved you all this time. impossible, you tell yourself. suguru stopped loving you a long time ago. and you need to stop trying to figure out why. 

————————————————

even despite telling yourself you don’t care what suguru thinks, a small part of you needs to prove to him you’re not scared of him. that you don’t fear for your own safety in your home, and that him being here is not some form of him haunting you. you don’t care. he shouldn’t get the luxury of thinking you care. he can come in and watch you sleep like the creep he is if he wants—you couldn’t bother to give it a second thought. 

the first night you take a chance and leave the door unlocked, suguru slips into bed beside you. it wakes you up instantly, and before you can question it, his head tucks into your neck, and his hand grasps your shirt tightly. you notice the panting almost instantly—and then you realize, it must be a nightmare. 

you fall into old habits, even after all these years, defaulting to care for him like it’s second nature. 

“you’re safe, suguru,” is what you settle for saying after a moment of contemplation. it’s all you can really think to say, so you brush your lips over the top of his head as you murmur, “you’re safe,” over and over again. 

as difficult as it is to have suguru around, as painful and cruel and aggravating as it is to be reminded of his distant existence even as he’s two doors down, this part feels natural. it’s almost like you’re back in jujutsu high, waking up to him sneaking into your room as he presses his weight over your body and wakes you with soft kisses along your face. 

except this time, he’s not annoyingly demanding cuddles or telling you about his weird dream, he’s not stealing your blanket and demanding you play with his hair. this time, it’s not the same suguru—and this time, it’s not jujutsu high. 

it’s your room. the one you got on the other side of town to leave the sorcery world behind, somehow still stuck right in the center of it no matter where you go. and yet, just like all those years ago, your legs tangle, and your arms wrap him up, and you murmur, “you’re safe,” while he catches his breath. 

“but they’re not,” he mutters in between labored pants, making you pause. 

and then you remember. 

faintly, you recall the blonde and black hair from a distance, you remember bitterly wondering what’d it be like watching suguru fathering children of your own as you came to the reality that it would never happen. sometimes, you wonder if you hate nanako and mimiko for existing, for living as the dreams you never got to live through with suguru. 

it’s selfish—to hate two children because they are what you do not have. 

but then you feel something wet hit your neck, and then you wish they were okay—for his sake. and just for a moment, you’re selfless again. 

“they’re not safe,” he mutters, making you sigh. 

“they are,” you whisper, hesitating for a moment before letting your fingers slip into his hair. you scratch gently at his scalp, feeling his body melt into yours almost instantly—like it’s a response that’s natural to him. “they’re not suffering. not anymore.”

“is that supposed to make me feel better?” he scoffs. you shrug, letting your cheek press against the top of his head as you sigh.

“it helps me feel better,” you say softly, “‘s just how you learn to cope.”

it’s an understanding you both silently come to. loss on both sides. bloodshed on either ground. defeat no matter which ideal you take. to love is to bear the pain of mortality—it’s a lesson that you never cease to learn until the ends of time itself. 

“the jujutsu world is one of suffering,” he grits, sniffling into your neck. you hum, pressing a kiss to his head as your eyes close. 

“every world is one of suffering, suguru, you can’t erase them all. the sooner you realize that, the easier you’ll find peace.”

you fall into a slumber after that, faintly aware of the way he shuffles closer to you, faintly aware of the soft kiss pressed to your skin as sleep takes over your body and drifts you out of consciousness. 

when you wake up the next morning, suguru is gone, and the door is closed. the blanket is tucked up to your chin, and your neck still tingles from last night. 

————————————————

“get up,” you throw a pillow at suguru, waking him up with a start as he sits up. his hair is tousled and messy from sleep—it’s now long enough that he can put it in a bun without strands slipping from the bottom anymore. you chuckle as he glares at you, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he groans. 

“the fuck was that for?” he grunts, holding the blanket up to cover his exposed chest. 

it’s funny that he does that, in a way. it’s not as though you haven’t seen his chest…and then some too. it’s not like you haven’t torn his shirt off to stanch the flow of blood from his injuries before or feel the bare skin with your palm under the pale moonlight as the lingering scent of sex breezes through the room. 

but somehow, even though he doesn’t need to cover his chest around you of all people, you’re glad that he does. truthfully, it keeps you slightly comforted to know that he’s aware you’re still technically strangers—no matter how well-versed you are in each other’s pasts. but you don’t ponder on it too much. instead, you grin, shoving aside the visual of the small glance you caught at his pecs, and you clap your hands to motion him to hurry. 

“we are going grocery shopping,” you say casually—as though it’s not something to make him raise a brow in shock.

“me?” he points a finger at himself. you roll your eyes, and he challenges you with another raise of his brow. “aren’t i supposed to stay away from civilians?”

“yes, you,” you nod, pointing back at him, “and satoru has worked overtime to get you granted permission to roam around with me. he says you’re welcome, by the way.”

“tell him to go fuck off.”

“that’s ungrateful,” you say flatly, “his feelings will be hurt.”

“his feelings will find a way to cope,” suguru huffs. “i don’t want to be around…them,” he says bitterly. 

you suppose it’s wishful thinking to hope suguru has let go of his past beliefs. perhaps he’s long abandoned the possibility of the vision he once planned on bringing to life, but you can’t say you expected him to revert back to the old suguru who fought alongside you and satoru. you yourself certainly have no intention of returning to the sorcery world after all the events, so you can’t say you’re shocked by the lack of change he seems to show. but then again, you suppose suguru has changed. whether he sees it or not. 

he stays here and doesn’t put up a fight to leave even though he can now that he’s healed. he eats lunch when you tell him and even washes the dishes. sometimes, when you come home a bit late, dinner is even ready on the table as he sits and stares at you expectantly. his plate is empty like yours—like he’s been waiting for you even though he doesn’t need to. you suppose you can see he’s changed in the way he doesn’t scoff at the tv channels you surf through, he silently sits on the opposite end of the couch now and watches with you, and perhaps if you’re lucky, you’ll hear a light chuckle or a quiet sigh as the scenes roll on the screen. 

you suppose this suguru is a step closer to your suguru every day he spends with you, but you don’t know if any suguru is what you need right now. perhaps that name should’ve been buried away as a distant memory, perhaps it should’ve only been something you unlock once every year on his death anniversary—when satoru clambers through your door drunk and unsteady as he clutches the hand that killed his best friend, only to share pancakes with you in the morning and pretend like you don’t notice the dried tears on his cheeks while he acts like he doesn’t catch the way your hand shakes as you cut into your breakfast. 

but suguru is here now. whether it’s as geto, one half of the strongest duo in jujutsu high, whether it’s as suguru, the love of your life and the sole reason you exist, or whether it’s as geto suguru, the curse user and mass murderer who haunts your past, present, and everything in between. 

so you simply sigh, grab the pillow again, and hit the top of his head before walking over to the door as you call over your shoulder, “i’m gonna wait for you by the door in fifteen minutes. be ready or face the consequences..”

“no thanks. don’t wanna,” suguru grumbles petulantly, frowning at you as you stick your tongue at him, smirking as if you’ve just played your ace. 

“too bad,” you sing before swinging the door shut.

he’s at the door in exactly fifteen minutes, like he waited until the last possible second to join you as a move of spite. but you simply gesture him out the door and lock up, taking your sweet time as he stands there with an annoyed face. you stare at the doorknob once you’re done, taking a deep breath before turning to him with your best smile. 

“let’s go,” you hum.

“after you,” he mutters.

—

he grimaces as soon as he sees the people going about their business, clearly unhappy with the idea of being around non-sorcerers, but one sharp glare from you has him sighing and trekking along. the grocery store, admittedly, is not as bad as suguru thinks—in fact, there are lots of things he doesn’t realize he misses until he watches you grab a shopping cart. 

suddenly, he sees shadows. the silhouette of your figure climbing into the cart, the angry wave of satoru’s hands as he claims it's his turn to be pushed around, the figure of shoko pinching the bridge of her nose in irritation from the back—and then, he sees the dark shadow of baggy pants and a small bun. it’s him. suguru watches himself almost in slow motion through the remnants of his imagination as he gently shoves satoru out of the way and reaches to poke the tip of your nose before he pushes the cart with you in it.  

it’s a happy memory—and it’s gone all too soon.

as soon as he blinks, the shadows have disappeared—instead, it’s you waving a hand in his face, concern written on your features as you call his name. 

“suguru? hey, hello? are you with me?”

he exhales, pulled from his trance as he gently grabs your wrist from in front of his face and sets it down as he nods, “yeah, i’m fine. just thinking,” he mumbles. 

for a second, you hesitate, like you almost mean to say something. but in the end, you only nod before turning to grab the shopping cart. but he stops you—grabs the handle and turns to you with a small smile on his face, making you raise a brow as he gently moves you away. 

“what are you—”

“get in,” he grins, making you stare at him in bewilderment. 

“what?”

“just get in,” he sighs, “you love it when you get to sit in the cart.”

“i’m not a teenager anymore—”

“get in, will you?” he groans, “always so damn difficult.”

“hey,” you pout, glaring at him with your hands planted at your hips, “that’s rude.” it’s cute. suguru stares at you with amusement in his eyes and a soft look on his face that you don’t think you’ve really seen in years. 

“humor me,” he hums, “just get in, okay?”

so you do. 

with a huff and a grumble under your breath, you fight back a smile and climb into the damn cart just like old times. you swallow and try not to let it get to you when he reaches over and pokes the tip of your nose and pushes the cart around, letting you name off the things you need from your list while he grabs them. and when he sneaks snacks into the pile, you roll your eyes and glare at him in the way you always did—the one that isn’t actually annoyed. fond. happy to let it slide because it’s him.

“we need candy,” you murmur, “that’s the last thing on the list.”

“okay. what kind?” he asks, turning the cart into the candy aisle and smiling softly down at you.

“doesn’t matter, satoru eats anything as long as it’s sweet. he’s more likely to die from sugar than fighting a curse, i think.”

“you buy candy for satoru?” he asks, making you shrug as you reach over and grab a few bags of candy off the shelves, setting them down beside you. 

“he comes over a lot so i learned to keep stuff stocked up for him. you know how he gets when he’s hungry.”

suguru feels something he hasn’t felt since he was a teenager. jealousy—specifically of satoru. 

suguru is not foolish. he knows as soon as he meets gojo satoru that of the two, one of them is stronger and it’s definitely not himself. for the longest time, he’s okay with that, okay being the strongest only when alongside satoru—until he’s not. and even if suguru always had a bit more attention in the romance department than satoru, in his head he’s always known that perhaps satoru can keep you safer, more well off, maybe even happier. with smooth smiles and eyes as welcoming as an oasis, gojo satoru would never leave you in the dark pit of misery as suguru once had. 

something about the thought of you and satoru keeping each other company through the lonely years, filling that empty spot suguru left behind, sharing moments over candy and empty wrappers makes suguru wonder for a moment if perhaps he’d be happier if he stayed. maybe he could have worn a heartfelt smile in a world that carves them off the faces of sorcerers with bloody knives as long as you were there to wipe the blood.  

but before he can dwell on it, you snatch one more bag—this time of his favorite candy, placing it into the cart and grinning gently up at him. 

“i haven’t bought this one in years,” you admit, “i almost forget how it tastes.”

“me too,” he says quietly.

“well,” you hum, “we’ll have to have some when we’re home.”

home. you say it as though it belongs to him as much as it does you, and then like you always have, without even meaning to, you wash away the dark stains of his jealousy with no trace left behind.

“yeah,” he chuckles, “we—”

“daddy, look! candy!” suguru is cut off by the gentle pitter-patter of two tiny feet running into the aisle, pointing at a bag of candy as a man follows close behind. 

his breath hitches. 

she’s small, the girl—she has two pigtails with soft strands of blonde hair falling out of the loosely tied bands. it reminds suguru of the first time he perfected tying up nanako’s hair, the soft giggles behind her tiny hand as she twirled in the mirror. 

there’s another girl in the man’s arms—dark hair on her head as she curls into her father’s chest and tucks her head into his neck when she sees you and suguru in the aisle. she’s shy, he realizes, like mimiko, and suddenly he remembers the tiny fingers that used to hook into his pants when she got too overwhelmed by the people around her, waiting for suguru to scoop her into his arms. 

perhaps in another life, suguru would redo everything differently—he’d be happy with you and satoru and shoko, and nanami and haibara would be there too, well and alive. but no matter what, he’d never redo nanako and mimiko differently. he’d never change a thing about them, not even the way nanako whines too much about small things or the way mimiko never speaks up even when something is clearly bothering her. he’d never change the way he saved them and took them in at the tender age of eighteen, too lost to be a father but choosing to raise them anyway. he’d never change the feeling of pure joy and unbridled pride when they climbed into his bed for the first time, shushing each other so as not to wake him—even though he’d awoken as soon as the door to his room opened. 

because he realized that night that yeah, maybe he’d made mistakes in his lifetime, lots of them too. maybe he’d made a bad choice choosing the path he did, or maybe he didn’t. he’s never been completely sure—just that he had to try at least to make his vision for a different world come to life. but one mistake he never made was his girls. one thing he was always sure about was the soft clutch at his pants and the tiny hands reaching for his own.

suguru wouldn’t change anything about nanako and mimiko—except maybe the fact that they aren’t here, gone because of him. 

“suguru?” you ask softly, reaching for his hand as he grips the cart tightly and pulling his gaze away from the family in the distance. 

he blinks, meets your eyes, and knows that you know. with one glance at your face, he knows you understand. the world is cruel, one filled with suffering, he thinks. but then he remembers what you said, that every world is full of suffering, not just his—that it’s a truth he has to come face to face with.

but it’s hard. it’s hard when this man has his two little girls and suguru does not—it’s hard to watch someone have what he wants with no worries of losing it, all because of people and their own weaknesses. he thinks for a moment that he’s been right all along—that non-sorcerers are too weak for this life, that the jujutsu world has always suffered so they don’t have to. 

but then the man speaks up, catching both of your attention. 

“your mother used to love those,” he says quietly to his daughter, a pained smile on his face. instantly, you and suguru both seem to understand the weight of that single sentence. 

every world has its own pain, suguru realizes. its own cruelties and unfairness, its own way of bringing suffering in its wake as it rips away the things closest to you from your begging fingertips, leaving them cold and empty and numb from the lost weight underneath them. 

“let’s go, suguru,” you whisper, “we have everything we came for.”

“yeah,” he whispers back, clearing his throat so his voice doesn’t crack, “let’s go.”

suguru leaves the grocery store with you after you pay, and for a brief moment, he’s unsure. unsure whether he’s grateful to satoru for fighting for him to be able to come and grateful to you for dragging him along, or if he wishes he died along with the rubble, gone before you could find him and turn him into this.

“before you even think about hiding away in your room,” you say, grabbing the bags from the cart as you put it back where it belongs, “you have to help with putting away the groceries.”

“sure,” he says smoothly. he grabs all the heavy bags from your hand, and you make a move to protest that you don’t need him to take the heavier ones, that you’re fine and can handle them like you’ve always handled them. 

but he walks off, and finally, you decide to simply follow.

————————————————

satoru likes to come and visit—you’ve started a routine movie night every week (unless he’s away, of course.) it’s fun, but it also means he makes your veins pop because he’s a headache like that—always makes himself right at home and eats your snacks like this is his place and not yours. he helps himself to your already limited candy and puts his sock-clad feet up on the coffee table no matter how many times you tell him not to. 

you try sitting with legs as long as these, he always whines, earning a harsh glare from you as you smack at his shins until he ultimately caves and begrudgingly sets his feet down. 

but then they always make their way back up to the coffee table, and you’re too busy enjoying his company to care—although you’ll never admit it. 

satoru is endearing like that, swallowing the dark clouds from your shoulders whole and eating up your burdens with that side of responsibility that you don’t think you could ever stomach. satoru is just like that, you realize, taking the brunt of the weight and laughing off every concern until you can’t help but not take them seriously yourself. 

it’s hard to remember that sometimes you didn’t just lose suguru, the love of your life, that night. everyone lost something. shoko lost someone to smoke with, yaga lost a student to scold, nanami lost a headache to avoid, and satoru?

well…satoru lost what you think might’ve been the only filled void of his miserably empty life. 

it’s hard to remember that satoru lost his best friend���the only best friend he’s ever had (although you like to think of yourself as a close contender)—because he’s so good at letting you forget. he brings you ice cream (that he eats half of because it’s only fair he gets a share), and he sits and hogs your couch (that he argues you don’t really need as much space as him on because your legs aren’t as long), and he watches those stupid sitcoms that are dry with boring jokes (that you used to make suguru watch back in the day).

it’s hard to remember that satoru also lost as much as you because he’s so damn good at making you forget about your own loss, you don’t care to think about anyone else’s for a while. just a short while. just until he’s yawning that obnoxiously loud yawn and stretching those awkwardly long limbs of his before he claims he really should go and that being the world’s best teacher requires as many hours of beauty sleep as you can squeeze in. 

and then he’s off. and it’s empty again. and just like that, you’re reminded of why he was there in the first place—to fill in that sick and painful void that geto suguru left in you. 

it’s gaping, like he tore a chunk of you right out with sharp teeth, like you’re just a piece of meat for him to get his fill of. if suguru really loved you, would you be so easy to let go of? why couldn’t he smile? because you could—god, you could smile just from the sight of him alone, you realize a long time ago. him with his cigarette tucked between his lips, those death sticks as you called them, hung loosely from his mouth as he gives you a lopsided grin. 

geto suguru is enough of a reason to smile. the world could crumble at your feet and leave you with nothing but rubble and dirt, and still, suguru is the core of the earth you’re searching for. 

so why couldn’t you be the same? what is it you were missing? what about you was just not enough for him like the way he was enough for you? 

it dawns on you one night, through bitter tears and shaky sobs, and that sick, twisted, pleading feeling in your gut that begs the wind to carry him back to you—geto suguru has never loved you the way you loved him.

and for that, you can never forgive him, you don’t think.

“you tryin’ to go bug-eyed?” he asks, settling down on the couch next to you, making you snap out of your trance. you shake your head a little, stare back at him for a moment before putting on that look on your face where you roll your eyes and pretend everything is fine.

“no,” you huff, “i’m just thinking.”

“about…?”

“satoru has rarely ever missed a movie night.”

“maybe he’s sick of you,” he shrugs, grinning slyly at you as you narrow your eyes with a glare, “there’s someone here to keep you company now so he’s probably taken his opportunity to run.”

“you’re hardly company,” you scoff, “freeloader.”

“hey,” he defends, shrugging as if it’s not his fault. you suppose it’s not. “i didn’t ask to be rescued. you can’t be high and mighty and petty. ‘s not how that works.”

“says who? you don’t make the rules. i can be graciously kind and a jerk all at once.”

“complexity,” he nods, “i like it.”

“i’m not as complicated as you might think,” you grumble, crossing your arms as you stare at the time. yeah, satoru isn’t making it—which, he told you as much, but he’s strolled in at the last second too many times to count before. you figure today would be the same. “as long as you don’t skip movie nights with me, i’m pretty simple to keep appeased.”

“alright,” he props his feet up on the coffee table—seriously, what is it with asshole men putting their feet on your table? satoru is a terrible influence. “let’s have a movie night.”

“what?” you blink.

“movie night,” he repeats, “you said you don’t like skipping movie night—”

“well, i meant i don’t like satoru skipping movie—”

“well, it was me before satoru, wasn’t it?” he says with a smile. his eyes are closed, crinkled at the corners, but his voice is carefully neutral—like he takes extra care not to let you see any emotion behind it. 

but that only means there is an emotion, isn’t there? is he jealous? does he hate the fact that you and satoru have a routine of your own without him? that you don’t need him to continue living your life? 

good. he should be. he walked out on you all those years ago. he killed a village. killed his parents. you never even got to meet them—he never even got to take you home and introduce you to them before he ripped away every fantasy you ever had with him. 

and now he’s back—he has the audacity to live, to laugh in your face with his existence that yes, geto suguru is here. and he was supposed to be executed, but your stubborn friend didn’t let that happen. he was supposed to be your husband by now with kids and a happy little home, and you were supposed to be his parent’s new addition to their family that they loved so much. but none of that is even close to happening, and it’s suguru’s fault, and the least he can do is show you some regret and maybe feel just the slightest bit bad that you now have to watch shitty movies with his best friend instead of him to feel normal. 

ex-best friend? half best friend? you don’t even know—do they still consider each other their best friends? does anyone consider suguru anything? you don’t know what you consider him. but you think the least he can do is act just the slightest bit pathetic after making you feel so pathetic for so long just to even the score. 

he should be a stranger. he feels like an old friend. but either is dangerous. 

“alright,” you sigh, “let's bring back movie night. don’t fall asleep.”

“i get plenty of sleep nowadays,” he hums, “i have more than enough free time for that now.”

“how lucky of you,” you snort. 

—

picking a movie with suguru is difficult. he actually has standards—satoru watches anything so long as he gets snacks, and he can make anything fun to watch with the way he comments from the side like a critic. suguru, on the other hand, actually cares about the quality of a movie, the metrics that make it good. 

so you pick the hunger games just to piss him off. 

“seriously?” he raises a brow, “this is your pick?”

“yes,” you grin, “i like these movies.”

“of all movies—”

“my house, my rules,” you grin cheekily, “you can pick the movies as soon as you start paying the bills.”

“wow,” he deadpans, “stooping to use my financial status against me? i thought you were better than this.”

“oh suguru,” you sigh dramatically, grabbing a bag of chips from the table, “you don’t know me at all.”

all things considered, you think it’s a rather enjoyable experience. it’s not as fun without satoru’s stupid comments that you pretend to hate, but suguru provides his own commentary that earns a giggle out of you here and there too—although his are not meant to be funny. but that’s the appeal of it, you think. 

“she should have picked gale,” he mumbles. you raise a brow.

“peeta was always there for her, did you miss the rain scene?”

“so was gale,” he says smoothly, grabbing a chip from your bag and making you scowl.

“gale killed her sister,” you point out, “and a lot of other people too. he was ruthless. she needed peeta.”

“gale did what he had to do,” suguru mumbles. 

suddenly, it doesn’t really feel like you’re discussing the movie anymore. it feels more than that. it feels sickening—the air is heavy, and your throat is dry and god, you just wanted a movie night and not this heaviness as you talk about stuff from the past without actually talking about it. 

you blink before turning to your chips, playing around with the bag as you shrug. 

“in the end he didn’t get katniss, did he?”

suguru studies you for a moment, stares a little too deep into you that you start to feel the urge to bolt to your room and go to bed. 

“guess not,” he says quietly, “guess that’s the one regret he has, huh?”

you think for a second, as suguru stares at your eyes with something you can’t quite read, that you might cry. you might cry and throw that half-empty can of soda in his face for speaking in codes and making you question what he means and remember your past. you might cry because suguru could’ve always gotten you—in fact, he had you.

it’s not fair. nothing is, but you can’t help but dwell on it.

“i’m going to bed. it’s late,” you mumble after a few moments, standing. he only nods, staring at the tv as the credits roll. when you make it to your room and the door shuts behind you, you debate clicking the lock in place. 

in the end, you don’t lock the door. suguru climbs into bed with you once more later that night, shaking slightly from his nightmare but calmer than usual. he’s still gone by the time morning comes, and you still never mention it.

it hits you one night that maybe he still has you—maybe you never let him stop having you, no matter what you say.

————————————————

suguru is good at cleaning while you’re away. you have to go out and do adult things like breadwinning and grocery shopping and bill paying. he dusts and cleans and even takes out the trash when you’re home to monitor him as he steps two feet out of your front door. sometimes, because you like to get on his nerves, you accidentally mess up a corner of the house just as he cleans it, laughing as he shoots you an unimpressed look. 

“stop getting crumbs on the floor,” he mumbles, “i just vacuumed.”

“you make a good malewife,” you giggle, “vacuuming and everything. how cute.”

“don’t call me that,” he grumbles, sitting down on the couch. 

“but you missed a spot,” you point to the crumbs you’ve sprinkled from your fingers as you snack away, making him glare. “failwife.”

“i’m going to divorce you and take everything,” he snaps, making you snort as you put your hands up in surrender.

“you don’t have to, you know,” you murmur, “clean, i mean. i can handle it.”

“i think i should carry my weight around here,” he shrugs, “since you are basically sugar babying me around for now.”

“dangerous curse user to the world, but sugar baby to me,” you tease, pulling a chuckle out of him as he rolls his eyes. 

sometimes it’s nice to have his company. suguru is good with banter like that, he’s not annoying like satoru where you run in circles. suguru makes you laugh from your belly, makes the hiccups catch in your throat as you double over. he’s always been like that, always known how to make laughter pour from your lips and trickle down your chin. it’s comforting to know he still knows how. it leaves a small amount of bitterness that he’s still able to make you feel like this. 

“by the way, next time you go shopping, take me with you,” he says casually, “i need to buy stuff for my hair. it’s growing.”

“you’ll finally see the sun just for your hair?” you gasp, “who knew that’s all it’d take?”

despite the playfulness in your words, there’s still shock. suguru is willingly stepping foot outside your house. he’s finally choosing to return to life after living like a recluse no matter how many times you and satoru have tried to beg him to get up and go somewhere. the most you can get out of him is a walk around the neighborhood before he goes back to wandering your home and hiding away in his room. 

suguru is returning to life, his life, and you can’t help but wonder where that leaves room for you.

“my hair is my charm,” he reasons, “wouldn’t you agree?”

there’s a smirk on his lips when he asks—it’s like he’s seventeen and teasing you again, giving you that unfairly flirty smile that used to make you stutter as a kid. back when you were hopelessly in love. back when it was you, suguru, and the world in your corner. back when you had dreams of your future, practically giggling as you planned it away in a notebook. 

suguru was always perfect like that, the kind of guy you could only dream about. he’s always been handsome—he’s always been the center of attention everywhere you went. you used to huff about it, about all the attention he managed to get from walking into a room alone. but then he’d smile, give you that tender look of his as he’d chuckle, and you’d be hopeless again. 

he shouldn’t have that effect on you anymore after over a decade. but he does. it’s cruel, the way the universe works. it’s like there’s a magnet that pushes you together no matter how far you try to go, still pulled by gravity straight into his awaiting eyes and devilish smile.

“i cut your hair off once, i can do it again,” you huff. he laughs, it’s good-natured and kind. 

“i was a bit heartbroken when i realized it was so short, i have to admit,” he says, “i didn’t look like me.”

“you looked good,” you say quietly, “i think you’d make anything work, to be honest.”

“yeah?” he grins, “any requests? i might consider it if it’s you.”

“oh shut up,” you roll your eyes, “how about shaving your head bald? let's see how much charm you have without all that hair.”

“i could charm you without the hair still, couldn’t i?” he winks. 

it’s unfair how he acts like normal. like a few months in your home undoes everything he’s ever committed, all the atrocities he’s caused. the way he flirts with you feels like you’re his again. the way he’s aged and changed feels like you’re meeting someone new. you don’t understand how suguru is so natural with that—with seamlessly falling back into a rhythm with you like nothing has changed at all.

deep down, you know that suguru is just moving on with his life. he’s making the most of what he can. he can’t die, satoru would never let him have a peaceful death after all this. he can’t go back to the way things used to be, whether that’s his sorcery days or his curse user days, and he certainly can’t start over. so he’s making do with what he has—which is very little in reality.

it’s you, your home, and the biweekly visits from satoru and occasionally shoko. so he weaves you seamlessly into his life and treats you with a sense of normalcy you can’t hope to treat him with. maybe it’s because suguru was actually able to move on after he left. 

it’s the part you hated him most for. for building a family with new people. for having two girls that he raised as daughters. for finding people to follow him and trust. suguru, after he walked away from everything he ever knew, actually did something with his life—even if it could hardly be considered good. 

you? you fell deeper and deeper into a pit of denial until clawing your way back out was too impossible, until you had to leave behind everything you’ve ever known to get away from the remnants of his existence. 

it’s easy for him to weave you back into his life because he chose to cut you loose. it feels damn near impossible to let him weave back into yours after he tore himself from the edges and frayed away. 

“don’t do that,” you sigh, making him frown.

“do what?”

“you know what, suguru,” you pinch your nose in frustration, “stop acting like things are normal.”

“things are definitely not normal,” he snorts bitterly, “i think needing your approval to take the trash out is not equal to normal.”

“then why are you acting like…” you trail off, unsure.

“like what?” he raises a brow. 

“like we never changed,” you slam your hands down on the couch in exasperation. 

he stares at you for a minute, blinks once, then twice, and then furrows his brows.

“well, of course we changed,” he mumbles in confusion, “i know that—”

you shouldn’t have said anything. you quickly realize that. suguru is not trying to act like things are normal—he’s trying to be civil, and you’re just a fool. a fool who looks too deeply into everything and assumes what you want to out of things and god, you’ve embarrassed yourself in front of your one and only ex-boyfriend in over a decade who was once dead and somehow came back to the land of the living.

of course, he knows things are not the same. he doesn’t want what you think he does. it’s been years and suguru has moved on—he had already moved on all those years ago, and you’re the only one here that is still focused on the past. and now he knows it too. 

you stand before he can finish, nodding as you stare down instead of meeting his eyes, pretending to adjust your clothes. 

“right, of course you do,” you nod, “i don’t know why i said that. just ignore me, i’ll be going to my room now. i have…things to do, so i’ll be—”

“hang on,” he frowns, hand grabbing your wrist, “i don’t mean it like that,” he says gently.

fuck geto suguru for being so confusing and fuck him for being nice about it too. 

“you can let go, suguru,” you pull at your wrist, “forget what i said, i wasn’t thinking—”

“i still feel the same,” he cuts you off, making your eyes widen, “if that’s what you mean. i never stopped.”

never stopped—that’s almost worse than moving on. how could he have felt the same all those years and still never come back?

“that does not help even a little,” you swallow the lump in your throat. “that makes this so much worse, do you see that?”

“i know,” he sighs, “i’m sor—”

“don’t say you’re sorry,” you grit your teeth, “we both know you’re not.”

“maybe not,” he admits, “i had to try. and that meant leaving—i’m sorry that’s not what you wanted.”

“it’s not!” you turn around, pulling your arm out of his grasp—suguru, for what it’s worth, takes the shove to his chest like a champ. “of course i didn’t want you to leave and kill a bunch of people and have an execution stamped on your forehead and live your life without me.”

“i know—”

“and now you’re back. back! in my house, eating my food and sleeping in my bed for half the night and i just have to act like this is normal. how is any of this normal?” 

“it’s not,” he agrees. he’s calm. so calm, it almost makes you mad. why is he so calm? “nothing about anything in our lives is normal. it never was.”

“you ruined my life,” you blink back tears. he smiles sadly, taking a step closer.

“i guess i can take the blame for that,” he nods, hands finding their way to your hips. against your better judgment, you lean half your weight against his body. this is bad, very bad—but it’s also the best thing ever. 

being close to suguru feels like the sun’s heat tearing through your skin—it’s warm. it’s pleasant. it leaves you parched and drained with a dry throat. but still, you need it to survive. 

“why did you come back?” you ask tiredly. his hand finds the small of your back, rubbing slow circles.

“i don’t know,” he hums, “i didn’t really get a say. maybe i was always meant to, who knows?”

you look at him at that—tilt your head to get a good look at his features. his eyes are more tired, and his cheeks are a bit more sunken in compared to the youthful flesh you remember him with. his hair isn’t as healthy, and his forehead has the slightest traces of pale marks from the scars. but he’s still suguru—and you have always loved suguru, even if he gives you every reason to hate him.

“you make my life unreasonably difficult,” you mutter.

he hums, smiling. “can i?” he asks breathlessly, pleadingly. you stare at his eyes, he stares at your lips. you know what he wants—but fuck, you can’t let him have it so easy. 

“can you what?” you ask, raising a brow slowly.

“are you really gonna make me say it?” he grunts, lips almost curled into a pout. it’s cute, the way he looks longingly at your lips—it’s so cute and beautiful and dangerous all at once, just like suguru. 

“yes,” you say, “yes i am. i deserve to hear it suguru, after everything you put me through. you…you left me. i wasn’t enough for you. i mourned you. i grieved a body i never even saw. do you know what that does to a person? to lose them not once but two times? the least you could do is tell me what you want,” your voice wavers just a little. 

it shakes for the lost time. for the moments you’ll never have. for the memories you lost. for the past that’s tainted. time is cruel like that. but that’s the beauty of it all—the fragility. it’s like sand falling through the cracks of your fingers, every grain slipping from your reach but still soft and soothing against your skin as it falls. everything fades over time, everything starts to hurt one way or another. but it stops. it heals. it starts over. the sand fills the cup of your palms again, warm and delicate and just as beautiful as before it crumbled. 

“can i kiss you?” he asks desperately, “please?”

“kissing me is not a temporary thing,” you shake your head, “not anymore. it’s for good. only for good.”

“i want to kiss you for good,” he nods, hands digging into your hips impatiently. you’re close. you’re too far. he can feel you, smell you, hear your unsteady breaths. but it’s not enough. he needs to devour you, taste you on his tongue, and melt you with his touch. “i won’t stop this time,” he promises. 

“you better not,” you sniffle, tears blurring your vision. you hated suguru for leaving you. you hated him for coming back to you like this. you never stopped loving him, never will stop loving him—and maybe that’s what love is. when the darkness is worth trekking through for the afterglow of the light. “if you fucking leave me again, you’re dead to me. i don’t care how many times you come back to life. you’re dead to me.”

“okay,” he agrees through a shaky chuckle, “i suppose i deserve that. let me kiss you, yeah?”

“yeah,” you breathe.

he kisses you—years too late, he kisses you. it feels like you’re teenagers again. it feels different and foreign. you know this feeling like the back of your hand. you don’t understand what this sensation is anymore. it’s new. it’s old. it’s perfect. it hurts. suguru is here. he promised not to leave—you don’t know if you believe him, but you’re going to trust that finally, for once, you are enough. 

you’re enough to make him happy. to give him a sense of purpose. to keep him swimming when his limbs start to sink. 

finally, for once, you’re enough. 

“i love you,” he whispers against your mouth, breathing the words into you like he’s offering you the air from his lungs, “i never stopped. i promise.”

“you don’t deserve to hear it from me,” you murmur back, panting against his lips, “not yet.”

“fair enough,” he chuckles, “you sure know how to leave a guy waiting.”

“i learned from the best,” you shoot back.

he grins—suguru smiles, heartfelt and real. life is full of misery, it’s painful, and nothing fucking makes sense. everything is cruel. everything dies no matter how carefully you water the roots. there’s always something, someone, ready to tear it from the earth. but if you keep planting the seeds, suguru will keep watering. 

maybe something kind can bloom from that, something big enough for him to hide under the shade when the scorching heat of tragedy becomes too much. 

in this world or in the jujutsu world; in this life or in the next. suguru is yours.

“why am i here?” he asks gently, his face digging into your neck. you hold him, cradling the back of his head as you hum. 

“because i need you here. will you stay?”

“yes,” he murmurs, “i think i’ll stay.”

hi. i have been working on this since march. its still not how i envisioned it to be originally but that's okay. i had fun writing it and it means a lot to me even tho its kind of. well....cliche LMAO like everything i write. but. i enjoy the cliches okay ?? i do. kxljchskdf hope u guys didn't hate it </3

also the fic banner is …. not the greatest. just ignore it ok

[worrabei]

OKAY, hear me out before reading the text below: this blog of mine is just a place, where I can see my progress in many of things, and writing in english is one of them. the deal is - english is not my native language, and my way of writing can look very bad.

if you decide to read my little sketch, firstly - good luck; and secondly, if when you see some dumb mistakes - feel free to comment because learning stuff is fun!

(also I'm like probably need to do a disclaimer or something like this, but I don't know how :D)

well, it's just fluff (?), without any triggers and just something that was in my head for a while. also I'm using the real names on the dream team in this text. actually, all my thoughts slowly became a whole au (this is the right word for it, right?), so if I will be really confident, maybe I write something else....

UGH this is again a super long text, I'M SORRY.

imagine that you've been friends with «dream team» for an almost a three years.

originally you were an employee on a mr. beast team, something that others would call an errand boy (well, errand girl in your case). but despite your small position in a whole team, everyone was simply in love with you. you just were a little shining star, that everybody adored. and beside that, you knew how to do your job. and by one of these hard-working days, you've meet sapnap.

there were a small pause between shooting for a new challenge video, where nick was one of the judges, and it happend that you both had a chance to chat for a little bit. you two find in each other someone nice, almost like a soulmate. when you too start to speak about different topics, including hobbies and favorite things, something just clicked. after a shooting, y'all just spontaneously decided to go for a walk. you both just can't stop talking, and after a hour or so, you find yourself on a basketball court. the day slowly becoming an evening, there only a few people around, and you two with beer cans just lazily playing basketball.

and after that day your life just start change entirely.

after sapnap you've met sunshine with name karl, and then dream, george, even quackity. the boys was also amazed with your warm personality and you all pretty fast become great buddies. you start to show in theirs instagram photos, twitter posts, stories. you've slowly become an important member of their group. staying for a movie night, cook for them, give a ride on your car, making birthday presents, spending time in video games, and eventually joining the streams.

to be honest, chat was kinda aggressive by the first time and full of comments like "omg why are they even let this girl to join, she's just ruining all the fun" and bunch of other not-so-nice words. guys were super sorry that you have to deal with all this hate, but you honestly won't making a big deal out of that. you just continue to show up from time to time, and slowly but surely people realize that your "boring" side was actually a "super caring" side.

and only after this realization everybody understand how cool actually your character resonates with sometimes childish characters of the rest of the group. the memes start to full the internet, boys start jokingly addresses to you like "sweet mother of ours", and you were very audible and visible cringing at the name, but they're just unstoppable.

and after a two and a half years of your friendship, after george finally gets a visa and clay does a face reveal, four of you guys finally moved together.

and that simply become a golden era of your friendship.

you spend mornings with george, when you get ready for work and this man with no sleep schedule gives you company. at the moment that you start making a breakfast, this man just magically appears with his cute puppy eyes, and after the few times when your plate was getting empty for about a fifteen seconds, you just start to cook for you two. imagine: dark room with only one working lamp, you both eating some puffy pancakes, drinking something warm, chatting and silently giggling. it's a little foggy outside, and almost absolute silence. sounds really comforting, does it not? after you finished eating, you give george a small kiss on his head, maybe mess up with his hair and beg him to get some rest.

the days fly by really fast, when you making stuff with dream. join the stream for a moment? sure. what about the new idea for the video/song? tell me everything. maybe you want to go to the shopping together? get in my car, clay. you freely can go to his room when silence in your head gets too loud. often you just knock on his room door shyly, and ask if you can sit on the bed while dealing with work. and he never refuse. also you absolutely love to draw him in the moments when he really focused on something, maybe make him a few more knitted hats or something cute, but stupid. and he absolutely melts at every single touch. you just need to tell him that everything is okay, and he always can find a support in his friends. and he's so thankful for this.

and finally, you want the evenings to never end because you spend them with sapnap. he don't want to show it, but you just see it anyways - he cares about you. of course, that doesn't mean that other guys don't care, but sapnap do it in his own way and you really appreciate it. almost every evening he casually walks into your room, and if he sees how tired you look because of the work, all his appearance softens immediately. with his silent, raspy voice he asks how do you feel. and if your answer not satisfying enough, nick just casually says that he's going to wait you in the car. and that means - this evening going to be awesome. you both have no clue what are you going to do tonight, but that's just more fun, right? basketball court, just like in the old times? eating junk food in the car, while chatting and shouting the songs? skateboarding park, when nick trying to impress you, but just stupidly falls and now you need to bandage all his wounds, while you just can't stop from laughing? (he's trying to act offended, but inside he's all fluff, believe me).

but sometimes you decide to hang out in the house. sapnap picks up some random film, brings more pillows and blankets, you cook (or order) snaks, and you both just simply chilling together after a long day. and I don't need to tell that almost every time the rest of the group decide to join. maybe it's even spontaneously become a movie night? who knows. you can't even blink, and it's 3am already, the third movie silently playing on the back, all the boys sleeping and barely audibly snore. and only you stubbornly want to wait until the credits. and the movie finally ends, you trying to clean up a little, while you judge the main character in your mind. when you come back to the sleeping kingdom, you can't help but smile at the view of three big men just calmly sleeping, and unconsciously trying to hug something. you definitely take a few photos, and when you want to go to your room, suddenly dream wakes up and mid-sleep reach up to you, whispering that he want to cuddle. your heart was not ready for this, and you just can't say "no" to him.

and when you slowly falling into sleep, while warm big hands carefully hugs you, you just think to yourself - oh, how extremely lucky you are.

well, maybe you can skip the next day at work.

...you can't miss how nick and george all morning going to scream that they're absolutely-for a hundred percent-for sure-definitely didn't hug each other all night.

[makapatag]

random screencaps of my current ffxii tza rerun

(i lost my old save file but only really finished the great crystal, now i'm hunting down espers and got Chaos!)

i'm already a huge huge fan of FFXII and Ivalice as a whole, from its non-european-centric fantasy style to its slipstream weird fantasy esque vibes and feelings. it's not so much fairytale as it is "utmost fantasy historia" in a way. its political story captures and it does the classic ivalice thing wherein its political story eventually gives way to earth shattering conspiracies but the best part about ffxii's conspiracy is that even the subject of the earth shattering conspiracy are also having their own conspiracy. it's wild and it's so fun to play through. i'd put its narrative somewhat on the poetry side (alongside things like elden ring or legend of zelda breath of the wild, focusing on the world, immersion, and the moment-to-moment) rather than the narrative prose side (in the vein of things like baldur's gate 3 or mass effect or whatnot, where the writing goes to the characters and is more overt and drags you along with it), though of course being a JRPG it has to conform a bit into prose gaming (forgive the terms i am a literature person first and foremost)

on the gameplay side as someone who loves character action games and simulation rpgs (tactics grid rpgs) i really started out not liking it. but then when i started treating it essentially like ogre battle or unicorn overlord, a somewhat slight autobattler with constant menu pausing to issue different commands, viewing it a bit more like a strategy game, everything really clicked. figuring out everyone's builds with self-imposed challenges (such as having every job in the game be used) is so so so fun as someone who is a sucker for buildcrafting (it's why Final Fantasy Tactics and Elden Ring are the few games I replay!). nothing is more satisfying than seeing a really good build and team comp soar through a grueling boss battle, where you still have to micromanage, casting Dispels and upkeeping Buffs and switching Gambits (and even weapons!) on the fly.

one of the things that FFXII really turned me around on is the whole "you have to both unlock this spell/technick/weapon/armor and acquire it out in the world to equip/use it!" at first i hated it: i already spent time grinding LP to unlock the license, why did I have to still find it in the world?

then i kind of just figured, whatever, i'll explore and just try to find everything if i can. and it worked. exploration in this system was fiercely rewarded: things like Bravery (ATK UP), Faith (MAG UP), and Protectga (AoE Protect) could only be found in chests in the nooks and crannies of the Necrohol of Nabudis. now i have a care for these places i'm traveling around. oh, the nabreus deadlands are called that because nethicite was used here and now it's fantasy fallout new vegas? shit dude that's all you had to say. sorry i wasn't paying attention at first. i wasn't aware of your game. now hand me Silencega and let me get Chaos as a summon

now i can't just rush through the story or whatnot (well, you can! but it's no fun if you do that but it's totally doable and not too difficult which is honestly very accessible). i have to go around the areas i travel around, and exploration is fun because with the gambits system i don't have to keep fiddling with these menus, i can just let my smartly built team do the work. its as if the game rewards you for taking the time to build up and setup your characters! this is a game that rewards team composition and party management, something i feel is sorely missing from modern ffs (ffxv and ffxvi)

to top it all of it's kinda diegetic and immersive. of course these spells and technicks you don't just get. the jobs in this world (also diegetically) only get you to unlock the License to use these things, which are proven by adventuring (and thus, gaining license points). they don't automatically get you that thing. now you have the license, you can use Scathe sure, the most powerful black magick spell in the game, but you have to get into subquest blocked areas of a deep mine to even find it in the first place, and its blocked behind Gilgamesh! so now you're looking for these things and you're interacting with Ivalice and Ivalice feels so alive and lived in because it compromises so little for the player

it's not all perfect of course. so many of the higher spells and technicks and weapons straight up need guides to get, while others are at the whim of RNG. fuck that, but i can't help but completely respect it. it's such an ivalice matsuno choice to do. so many things in this game need guides to do, to the point that while i'm doing it i'm hearkened back to my first elden ring playthrough or my first demon's souls playthrough were i'm partway dependent on those that have come before me to be satisfied with my game. and i don't think that's a bad thing, i think that's something video games are uniquely able to do as a medium.

also i can't help but wish the UI was just a tad bit better, but FFXII was of course made during the menu jrpg era and the PS2 was no doubt already struggling handling so many things that FFXII was bursting with the seams with (something it has in common with its distinguished grandfather vagrant story)

and finally, so many of the things i like about FFXII only really came about in the Zodiac Age (specifically the Switch Version): being able to respec Jobs, finding rare items in the world instead of just buying them from the baknamy merchant in the necrohol of nabudis lmao... but despite all this these are minor detractions to the overall peak experience

though to be fair to the OG it was on a whole a different, perhaps easier game. and i kind of liked the fact that everyone had the same license board. it had that non-self interpenetration buddhist vibe, but also meant that you can go with almost whatever gear and spell setup for whatever team you end up with

what a good game,,, characters are so great too. i love vaan and penelo because they really are both an audience stand-in as well as a masses representation in a cast of knights, princesses, sky pirates and forest shamans

[thelongestway]

Dawn: Trailed

Now that the spoiler embargo is gone, well...

This is probably my favorite expansion. On par with, if not better than, HW (My personal rating otherwise goes HW>ShB>Ew=Sb=Arr). I went through it without reading anything about others' experiences, and you can imagine my surprise about the incredibly mixed reception!

I was even more surprised, because I was going in very burnt out on FFXIV, and had really been expecting to go in and say "eh, this was ok, sure, but nothing special."

Instead, I got exactly what I wanted or, dare I say it, even needed. That is to say, this:

So this review is going to be reflecting over the type of story this is and what made it so appealing to me specifically.

Tons of spoilers below the cut!

What I thoroughly enjoyed about Dawntrail:

the "not my circus, not my monkeys" vibe

the worldbuilding

the pacing

And I think these things are related. But let's start with the pacing.

My usual way of playing is "do story, do available sidequests as they pop up, a couple of fates along the road, etc". I usually wind up with a class fully leveled and a class half-leveled by the end of the story. My WoL is very thorough and meticulous, and a firm believer in "get the lay of the land" first.

In most previous expansions, that meant there were spots where I went stir-crazy, because something about that flow didn't click; there were many places I was bored but also did not want to skip things, because while it felt bad to do them immediately, it would feel even more out of place to do them later. To wit: Moogles HW (even though I loved the crafter quests later), Ruby Sea SB, Twine etc ShB, Ultima Thule EW (yes, not Labyrinthos part 2 - sorry my friends, I love insane academics, while Ultima Thule really, really did not hit for me).

This was not the case in DT. There wasn't a single moment I felt truly bored. And specifically I enjoyed the vibe that you can come and go at any moment - the fact that the succession isn't really your problem helps with this a lot. This is why the amount of Wuk Lamat didn't particularly bother me - my WoL just went "oh, fantastic, any fallout is your problem, not mine - I'm just here to see the sights and talk to people". He got to have a good night's sleep without being interrupted, for gods' sake - unheard of!

On a player level, this worked wonderfully, because I hate it when writers try to raise the stakes by making it personal. Usually, I have a very visceral reaction to that, which is primarily "you do NOT get to decide what makes it personal for me", and I can count the number of times that kind of bait worked for me on one hand. In FFXIV specifically, Haurchefant and Ysayle in one expansion - and never again (although should anything happen to the twins, yeah, that'll work). Having another character take the brunt of "this has to be personal For Them" is really one of my favorite vibes. That said, I'm very much a worldbuilding-over-story girlie. Give me a world to muck around in, and I'm happy. And if I don't feel punished for taking my time, this becomes even better - I detest time-based long-term gameplay, I have enough of that IRL. Which means that for me, the vibe of this whole expansion was "excellent, I've got an excuse to be here - oh, we're moving on? You go on, I'll catch up". The last time I felt like this was really in HW, while the resolution to the Monetarist plot was brewing in the background. "Yeah, we can't really go back to our three home states for long. Great - let's explore the floating islands and see what the deal with the Dragonsong war is. We've got nothing but time." In both expansions, giving me time to fool around let me develop a personal connection - not to the characters, to the space. And by the time the plot picks up, I am hooked.

So aside from being my favorite type of worldbuilding, the feeling that "the plot is on pause and I have time to breathe" is unironically one of my favorite things in games, and what lets me feel like I've been relaxing while playing a game. And, well, I really needed a vacation from IRL bullshit, and I got just that.

It was one heck of a surprise for me to see that's not the case for most other players. To showcase this, I actually quite enjoyed one of the most controversial storytelling moments - which was "you've found the City of Gold! ...Now before you go in there, the current ruler needs to inform their successor about the bullshit going on down there, and you're not invited". My WoL's reaction was an amused "yeah, sure, I'm not in a rush - we'll get there (not that you can stop me from poking my nose in). Now, what else did you say was here? Xak Turaal?"I know a lot of other players got thrown out of the illusion of verisimilitude here; for a lot of people, the pacing here felt like a jarring stop. For me, though, it felt like breathing space; like a promise - there's no rush, we'll get there. Take your time, relax. It was like the game said "yeah, I see the load you carry normally. You don't have to for a few hours". And that was great.

It was the same with Wuk Lamat. The big cat wants all the bullshit I hate? She can have it, and my gratitude with it! The only time my WoL felt irked with her was the "invitation to be part of her government" - but even that moment was basically fixed immediately by the WoL's reaction! Which is: you stare at Wuk Lamat silently - silently even for the WoL, no gestures or implied responses, she sheepishly goes "you don't have to answer now... also I got you that pass to Xak Tural I promised?.." Only then do you smile. And you have the option of basically turning around after that and walking directly into Xak Turaal without talking to anyone except Erenville, which I found appropriate and more than a little hilarious. Finally, much later, Wuk Lamat even goes "ok, yeah, I get it now, the invitation was kinda stupid, sorry" - which is a big Point for her in my WoL's eyes.

And you get to just walk away! And there are no problems arising from that! And you walk into Shaaloani, doubling down on the "nope. I am On Vacation. Nothing but the wind and the vibes", and it was exactly what I wanted and needed. And then, after Shaaloani, once I've thoroughly relaxed, the plot picks up! I've had my rest, and now I get to do shit! 10/10 hit in the personal preferences, no notes.

All of this would've been enough to bring DT on par with HW and above ShB (which had the "new world exploration" down pat, but was also much more inconsistent in its pacing for me). But what brings it really... Above HW for me was the last zone. Because that zone hit stuff I'd been needing to have a good cry about, and I spent 8 hours doing just that: reading through and sobbing.

Now, this was a very personal hit in the themes. I mean, it was mostly coincidence that it hit that hard. But it was what I needed.

Dawntrail is an expansion that has two main themes: vacation (break, pause, freedom) and death. Death, while always present as an FFXIV theme, here is discussed specifically in the aspect of "leaving behind stuff for others to take care of". These two themes are bundled in extremely neatly, you keep going back and forth between them, and they reach a crescendo in the last zone, which is a memorial disguised as an amusement park; a memorial whose paperclip-optimizer managing AI was about to try and kill everyone it could reach in order to keep that memorial's lights on. So you walk into a deteriorating attempt to make the "between-space" of vacation last forever, and then you turn that vacation into death, and that comes as a relief.

I won't go into the IRL bullshit that made me cry over this. But the mix of "you can't capture happiness in a gilded cage" and also "you cannot exist in that liminal space where you temporarily leave your burdens - you shouldn't try to actually live there", and finally "someday you will have to leave your burdens to someone else, and you will never solve everything forever" - yeah, I needed that. I needed a good ghost story right now, and I didn't know I did. So the last zone hit insanely hard, and I loved it.

And it hit all the harder because the focus wasn't on me. For contrast, Ultima Thule was my least favorite zone of EW. It was a total, absolute miss for me - the exact kind of "the writers are trying to make it personal" that I hate. I think I have the exact feeling about Ultima Thule that most people have about Dawntrail: if the plot had been moved a few steps to the side, I would've enjoyed it - say, have the Scions lean into "we're building a bridge, and whoever gets to the end will have to handle the rest. WoL, though - you're gonna have to be the last one to go, we need you to bring us back. Let's walk into this with our eyes open" rather than into the "sacrifice" aesthetic. But they didn't, and it didn't hit for me. I felt sort of numb and irritated throughout.

Meanwhile, Living Memory - and its focus on a bunch of NPCs I didn't know, and then Krile, and then Erenville and Cahciua - let me experience what I needed to experience without also feeling like the writers are dragging the requisite emotion out of me with pliers. For once, playing through the story as a Black mage was amazing - I was very much "okay, time to put on my thaumaturge ritual robes and hold a funeral". It was a somber feeling, but also it felt like it should.

And then you get a multidimensional key out of it! And you end 7.0 alone, looking at a map with the key in your posession, and you can see the gears turning in your WoL's head as they plan... That's my personal perfect ending.

As a result, this expansion made me reflect very heavily on my own personal preferences on pacing and plot, and how the niche that I inhabit is probably smaller than I thought. Things that are absolute dealbreakers for other people are barely blips on my radar; while things that are absolutely monumental to me often go unnoticed. Good stuff to know for a writer - and I'm very grateful for getting a story that was written so close to what I like.

[corleonewrites]

Non ducor, duco

AU: Game of Thrones (2011–2019)

main pairing: Edmure Tully x Original Female Character fanfic.

additional pairing: Jaime Lannister x Original Female Character fanfic

Summary: Being forced to take the homeland under the ruling, young Lady Isolde Meverell learned how to lead, how to make decisions with cold heart and mind, how to speak for her own people and how to protect her land. She knew how to hide her emotions from everyone due to protect herself from others. "The Ice Lady" she was famously called. Without having time to take care of her own feelings, young Lady began her own prudent game of thrones, where the future of herself, her homeland and her relationships are at stake.

Chapter 4. A falsis principiis proficisci*

*To set forth from false principles

______________________________________________________________

The last day before the royal wedding has begun very early. Sansa slipped quietly into the room where I was staying with first morning birds whose melodious chirping could be heard from the balcony. I was already awakened, sitting in front of the mirror, brushing my hair and wearing my golden-green dress, which was made for me by tailors in Shieldville especially for my forced trip to King’s Landing, in southern fashion.

“Cousin?” the girl whispered, standing behind me.

“You mustn’t be afraid to talk openly here.”, I turned to her and stood up, letting her to sit with me on the bed, “I don’t think they can hear us here, and if they do – my sword is standing beside the bed”

Sansa looked at my sword and smiled.

“Not everyone here is cruel as we thought they were”, she said and looked at me, “Tyrion is good…when we married, he didn’t touch me at all, he understands me, and, I think that we can trust him”

“I agree, he seems a very wise person, and surprisingly I can say that I don’t hate him, even though he’s Lannister. I think that he won’t mind if your marriage to him will be canceled and I don’t think that he has something to do with the death of your family and mine”, I made a pause before informing my cousin about the departure.

The birds began to sing louder, the sun was rising from the sea, the warm sea breeze entered the room where we were sitting. It felt surprisingly peaceful and in one moment it felt like all the matters were gone. But it was only for one second.

"The boat arrived yesterday night", I began, "It will bring us to the Vale of Arryn, to your aunt", Sansa looked at me with a surprise, "You will be safe there, until it will be time to be back to Winterfell"

"But what if they are going to catch us?", my cousin was worried

"Littlefinger promised safe trip for you and me, even if it is only the part of his personal plans, I'm not aware of them just now...I don't trust him, but he knows that he will pay terribly if something goes wrong"

"But when?"

"Right after the wedding. We must leave immediately after it, there will be no time for preparations."

Sansa nodded, sighed in relief and smiled at me. It might have seemed like a mountain had been lifted from her shoulders. When my back was terribly heavy.

Cousin’s look changed into sadness and she whispered:

"I wish our families were alive..."

The wind suddenly felt cold, just like it came from northern lands, or, maybe, ghosts of our loved ones appeared in the room.

"They will be revenged, I promise you this, Sansa", I took her hands in mine and looked at her with ice-cold gaze, "The North remembers"

______________________________________________________________

The long-awaited meeting with Cersei took place the very same day. On my way to the throne room in The Red Keep I was calculating all the possible options for the development of our specific conversation, thinking, who else could be dragged into it. Not only Cersei, but possibly the Kingslayer himself, as this small matter as marriage between Houses Meverell and Lannister occurs a big deal to him as much as to me.

“Lady Isolde”, Cersei turned to me when I entered the room, when I glanced at Jaime, who was sitting beside the table, the big vase with beautiful and exotic flowers was standing on it, three empty cups and a jug of wine were standing on the table as well, “I don’t think that we had time to have a proper chat after your arrival to King’s Landing”, the woman smiled and invited me to sit beside her.

“I believe we didn’t, your Grace”, I agreed, and looked around the room, portraits of ancestors of both Houses Baratheon and Lannister were hanging there, surrounded with bookshelves and crossbow

“We are glad to have you here, despite everything that happened between Houses of Lannister and Meverell”, Cersei looked at me, as if wondering that I would be afraid of consequences that could happen because my House bent the knee to King in the North and served him with loyalty.

“Of course, your Grace, but the House of Meverell and I believe that we can overcome those misunderstandings”, I smiled cunningly, looking directly into her eyes, waiting for her to break the glance.

She did so, and glanced at Jaime, who sat beside me, facing Cersei. Surprisingly for myself he didn’t say a word.

“Of course, you understand, Lady Isolde, that we invited you here not only because of the wedding of King Joffrey”, Cersei began her sentence, when Jaime poured wine in all three glasses of wine.

He gave me one of them when I felt how his fingers on one brief second touched mine, as I was grabbing a glass in my hand. My face was motionless, as I was looking at Cersei’s reaction to movements in general. She didn’t see this interaction, or, maybe, she was a great pretender.

“Lady Isolde, you see, the actual point of your arrival was not only to show that northern lords and ladies support King Joffrey”, when Jaime said these words I felt the knuckles on my left hand, which I had lowered onto my knee, tightened, “Lady Cersei has one important matter that we need to discuss with you”.

His look was long and curious, but I turned my gaze at Cersei, even though I realized that my heart began to beat a little faster, surprisingly for myself.

“It’s the matter of marriage, Lady Isolde.", she paused and looked at her brother, who gave her a quick glance and then turned to me:

"To keep now shattered peace between our houses, we have a propose to make for you...", Kingslayer didn't finish the sentence properly as his sister finished:

"Marriage between you and Ser Jaime will secure the peace, of course"

There was a moment of silence, both brother and sister were looking for my reaction: Cersei glared at me impatiently when Jaime with curiosity.

I knew that I was free, my potential engagement to Lord Edmure Tully didn't exist, but for the sake of Lannisters and their cruel plans to have control over Einarland I couldn't possibly agree to this.

"I must reject your proposal, your Grace", I said with sharp tone of voice, "Since the end of conflict between House Meverell and House Tully I was betrothed to Lord Edmure Tully, our families needed this marriage for the protection of our lands just like now"

Cersei looked at me in slight shock, perhaps, she didn't know about this. Neither did Jaime know as he looked at me surprisingly how his sister did, without saying a word.

"Oh, but that doesn't matter, I suppose, he's married to one of the Frey's daughters, as I've heard", Cersei finally said, taking a sip from her cup of wine.

The eruption of my emotions filled the air of the evening's wind. It was still impossible to believe that Cersei could think that I didn't know because of whose plans my family was killed, she thought that the moto of the House Meverell Wisdom and bravery was bluff, that I wasn't capable of anything. The anger was rising inside me with every second, and it took me great deal to come with my senses and replied dryly and firmly: "House Meverell doesn't have time to discuss marriages at the present time, your Grace, even if there is always time to think about the future of my land. But we live in shattered present time, and if King's Landing has all the time it needs – northern lands, and particularly my land, don't have such luxury now.", I finished, finally taking a sip from my cup of wine and looked both at Cersei and Jaime.

Kingslayer ran his curious gaze from my head to toes, nodding almost invisibly, saying The Ice Lady with his lips.

The pause felt too long and pressured, it felt that the tension between us could be cut with the sword. In one moment, the plans of our escape with Sansa and killing Joffrey were fading away, and I had to pretend to cool my principles off.

"I am free and not betrothed to anyone, you Grace...I will consider your proposal and will inform you sooner", I looked coldly at Cersei, when she looked at me with satisfied smile.

"I always knew that we can find the right language with House Meverell, Lady Isolde"

I nodded silently and left the room, rushing through the cold corridor to my chambers, hearing the echoes of my heart. ______________________________________________________________

“You still think that she'll agree with it?”, Jaime looked at his sister uncertainly, when heavy doors to the room closed after Isolde. Something was worrying him, and he understood that he started to feel pity for The Ice Lady, he knew that she was hiding deep emotions behind her cold unemotional façade.

“She has no other choice”, Cersei took another sip from her cup and stood up from her seat, walking slowly in front of her brother, “She will agree to marry you, and I believe it will happen tomorrow”

“Maybe if it is going to happen, don’t you think that she’ll plot revenge silently, right in front of our noses when we’ll be in Shieldville?”

“She doesn’t have such strength, and, besides, she doesn’t have skills in leading her men to battles”

Jaime stood up from his seat and came closer to Cersei, facing her. There was a moment of silence between them, when the warm night wind blew from the balcony.

“Didn’t you see how she’s working with bow and arrows? She is capable of something even bigger than that, she’s been trained by her father and, probably, her uncle Ned”

“But both of them are dead now, my dear brother”, Cersei interrupted him, “They can’t guide her any longer. And if she wants to keep her land in peace – she must agree. All you have to do is to pretend that you love her just as much as you love me. And I’ll make sure about it, don’t worry”

After those words Jaime turned away from her in irritation. Surprisingly for himself he didn’t want to play those games, even for the sake of his family. Maybe it was because he knew Isolde when she was a lot younger, but even at that time, when he saw her many moons ago, he saw the same cold gaze in her eyes.

______________________________________________________________

I was standing at the balcony, breathing fresh salty air from the sea, recreating all the steps that I should make next day during Royal Wedding and afterwards. Everything needed to be figured out, all precautions needed to be taken.

At first, I didn’t hear the quiet knock on the doors of my chamber, but then the knocking began to be very persistent so I rushed into the room and opened the door, hoping it was Sansa.

“May I come in, Lady Isolde?” – Kingslayer was standing before the entrance, when I looked at him, taken aback from this sudden visit from him.

“Did Cersei send him to talk senses with me?” slipped in my head, as my gaze caught his eyes, when he was waiting for my answer.

"Yes, Ser Jaime", I pointed at the chair near the table, where he could sit.

"Of course, you are surprised by such late appearance in front of your room, but there are some personal matters that we still need to discuss", Jaime began, when I sat near him on an empty chair.

"I know what you feel, Lady Isolde, and I know that neither you nor me want this potential marriage, even for the sake of our houses", Jaime made a pause as if trying to find convenient words, "Who am I, anyways? Lannister? Kingslayer?", he smirked, "Not the best match for you, I'm afraid"

I was surprised by his attitude towards me, he didn't hide the fact that the marriage between our houses, as well as my past betrothal to Edmure Tully, was a cracked illusion. Jaime was clever and he probably was sure that I hated all of Lannisters, I was just good in pretending.

"Perhaps, we can agree that I'm not good in this subject either", I paused, "You know me as The Ice Lady and I don't think that neither you nor other lords or knights wants to marry a lady with such nickname", I smirked and looked at Kingslayer, who was tapping his fingers on the table, "I suppose people assume that I have a piece of ice instead of heart"

Jaime laughed, but then he looked at me and smiled cunningly:

"But The Ice Lady has her own lands, I assure that other lords and knights will not be stopped because of the ice inside your chest"

I smiled coldly at the man. He knew how to speak.

"And you as well, Ser Jaime, you're among of them"

Cold light could be seen in his look, as he stood up from his seat and moved closer to me, when I stood up as well, the chair dropped loudly on the floor behind me.

"But surprisingly for myself, Lady Isolde, I don't want Einarland"

“And you won’t have it. Even if you wanted to take it with force – our people can’t be tamed like that.”

He moved closer to me, as if he wanted to took my hand, but he didn’t. Instead, he looked into my eyes and said quietly:

“I’m afraid my sister doesn’t agree with you, Lady Isolde”

Now I became furious, I couldn’t believe that Kingslayer himself would think that his sister was in power to command me or people of Einarland what to do and to which King they must bend their knee.

“Neither I agree with her”, I replied coldly, “And I know that I’m in the power and in freedom to whether agree or disagree with her plans, and I’m saying it once again: I will not marry you, Ser Jaime. Do you really think that both you and I are not in power to not accept this obligation? I’ve done it once, and believe me, I will do it second time”

“You don’t know my sister, Lady Isolde”

“You don’t know the courage and principles of people of north”

“I think we understood those principles from your late uncle Ned perfectly”, Jaime replied dryly, and my heart sank.

Not only I’ve lost my parents in such a short time, but I’ve lost my dearest uncle, who taught me a lot when I was younger, not only how to defend myself and my principles, but also how to defend my own land in the future, as I was the only heir of Einarland.

Right after Kingslayer’s words I realized how angry I was. It gave me great deal not to slap him on his cheek, but I just turned away from him, trying to calm down. Within a couple of seconds, I’ve heard how the man moved closer to me and said quietly:

“I didn’t mean to offend you, Lady Isolde, I truly didn’t”, he made a pause, and when I turned to him again, he continued: “And I’m sorry to what happened to your parents”

His look was sad and sure: it felt like Jaime was truly sorry for what his family did to my parents. I sighed slightly and looked at him again:

“It was moons ago. And there is nothing that can be undone, Ser Jaime. Life goes on, and we’re the ones who can change it now, not the ones who are dead. And we’re capable of making our own lives without taking orders from other people. Not in this matter anyways.”

By the look that he had I realized that he understood me.

“I believe that we’re capable of doing that, Lady Isolde”

After these words he left my room. It took me some time to take my eyes off the entering doors, realizing that my heart was beating a little faster when Jaime looked at me for the last time before leaving the room.

______________________________________________________________

My horse just entered the castle after my sword practices in the forest, when I noticed Robb, Lady Catelyn and Lord Edmure walking towards the castle’s entrance. Robb saw me and smiled:

"Isolde, I'm glad to see you", the cousin hugged me. It was still hard for me to call him your Grace. For me he was always my dear cousin, "Of course, it would be better if we could meet each other sooner and not in these circumstances".

They arrived for my parents: they were heading to The Twins to attend the wedding of Edmure and one of Lord Frey’s daughters.

“I understand, cousin. But it’s better than not to meet at all, I suppose”, I smiled back and greeted Lady Catelyn. I gave cold look to Edmure:

“Lord Edmure”

“Lady Isolde”, he greeted me and our gazes towards each other froze for a couple of seconds. Something ran inside me as a cold shower but I tried not to pay attention on it.

I was glad that I wasn’t going to marry him. But surprisingly for myself all my senses inside me was telling me that something would go wrong and something would unite us together once again, whether I wanted it at the present moment or not.

That feeling was in the air for the whole day before my parents’ departure. By the rules I needed to attend the wedding as well. But the day before the departure my father informed me that since I’m the only heir of Einarland – I would stay in Shieldville and protect it no matter what would happen.

He said it with his strong and calm voice, but I understood that he took a good effort not to open his true emotions up. He knew what was waiting them at what people would later call the Red Wedding but he didn’t want to worry me. He knew that I was ready to protect Einarland. He didn’t know, though, how it would be painful for me to keep my emotions shut and my mind cold.

“You’ve changed a lot, my dear cousin”, Robb smiled again, “But you still have this cold look in your eyes”, then he whispered, “And you still hate Tullys that badly?”

“People call me The Ice Lady not only because I rejected the proposal, you know this, Robb”, I replied coldly

“I didn’t mean to offend you, Isolde”, Robb put his arm around my shoulders, “I always admired your strong principles. And I hope I have such principles as well”

“Hey, you’re The King in the North, stop underestimate your abilities”, I smiled at him, but my words were strong.

Robb smiled back and hugged me tightly.

“And you don’t underestimate yours, Isolde. You’re the true heir and future ruler of Einarland. And don’t shut your heart down.”

The doors of the castle closed behind us.

[savage-rhi]

For the WIPs, how about Everything, Zen 😘

@seradyn AHHH BIG THANK!!! 💙 I don't have a whole lot done on this one cause I'm still plotting out things, but I do have a little snippet and a summary!

Edit: also adding the song that inspired the story, title and characters

Summary: It is said in the holy book that when Lucifer fell from heaven, he was plunged into the depths of hell and awaits the apocalypse. What if hell wasn't a firey pit of despair, but in fact, living as a human being for all of eternity?

Zen--the most recent reincarnation of Lucifer--after several lifetimes has finally pieced together a way he can break free from the reincarnation cycle. With the aid of Sawyer--a woman with her own troubles and tribulations--Zen seeks the legendary 10 crowns or "horns" of The Beast to return to heaven.

"So," Sawyer let out a sigh. "When this little road trip of ours comes to an end and you go home. What happens next?"

Zen raised a brow and shrugged. If he were more honest with himself, he hadn't thought that much ahead of the game. Not that he'd admit it out loud.

"I suppose I try and break bread with my father," Zen scoffed. He then smirked as another amusing thought came to mind. "Maybe sing kumbaya with Michael while I'm at it. Hell, maybe pops would like a souvenir from--"

He paused and frowned, looking at the inside of the diner trying in vain to find something that popped out. "Bumfuck Montana, or wherever we are right now."

"Bumfuck Montana," Sawyer repeated. She sounded so unimpressed that Zen could feel his pride take a few steps back. "That's original."

"Oh yeah?" Zen smirked. "You think you can do better?"

"I probably could," Sawyer admitted with a grin. "But I don't need Satan on my ass for the next decade or however long I got left."

"Eh," Zen's eyes scanned over Sawyer in a scrutinizing manner. "You don't have much going on there, ass wise. I wouldn't fret."

"Asshole," Sawyer growled under her breath.

"You walked into that I'm afraid." Zen snorted.

Although Sawyer smiled and laughed off his counter, Zen could sense a little more of herself closing off to him. The way her shoulders firmed and the subtle twitch of her fingers against the coffee mug had him uneasy. His therapist from the late 1800s stated such unease from physical tics was due to abandonment issues. He remembered laughing himself to death over that, but admitted perhaps they had been onto something. He hated it when someone pulled away. It demonstrated a dishonesty that infuriated him to the core.

Zen felt eager to verbally rip Sawyer apart, but reminded himself of how fragile her current state of mind was. He gave credit where it was due. She was certainly a phenomenal actor, pretending nothing got under her skin. That was a quality he had come to admire about humans over the centuries. How their resilience was impeccable. He couldn't say the same for himself as he ruminated on his earlier feelings of disgust.

What happened at the truck stop bothered him a great deal, and he wasn't the one who had been assaulted. He may had "saved the day", but the damage had been done. It was clear in Sawyers eyes and the way she had carried herself since then.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Zen murmured.

"Not really," Sawyer replied. Her eyes scanned over the diner, reminding Zen of a meerkat scouting the plains for hyena. "It's not the first time something like that has happened to me. I'll get over it."

He felt the hairs on his neck stand, and blinked a few times as his mind pondered more than it should've on Sawyer's remark.

"You're not alone in your misery. If it's any consolation."

Sawyer's eyes landed on him, sensing a familiarity in his cadence. It took her but a few moments to register the weight. "You too?"

Zen nodded. He sunk further into his seat as he relaxed and stretched. "You seem surprised."

"I didn't think...since you're, you know who, that you'd know what that's like--"

"I've lived many lifetimes. I'm not a stranger to bodily harm of the highest. Be it male or female." He interrupted, offering a small grin to soften the blow of his confession for her sake. Zen felt something akin to shame shortly after, and dismissively waved his right hand. Trying to tell Sawyer without words not to think too hard on anything. He focused on the birds in the parking lot outside the window. Watching them peck at stale leftover french fries someone had tossed.

"I'm sorry," Sawyer softly replied. He didn't have to see her face to tell she felt foolish for whatever assumptions she had held of him.

"It's whatever," Zen shrugged with a grin. He realized how odd that must've looked considering the circumstances, but didn't linger upon it.

Once the birds took off, having their fill, did he look at Sawyer again. He bit the inside of his cheek.

"You don't me owe me your past or anything you've been through, but I do want you to know that so long as we travel together, that won't happen again."

"How can you be certain?"

"I'm not," Zen admitted. "But contrary to popular belief, I keep my word if you'll have it."

[seareefer]

Idia with a fem or gn s/o who likes cuddles and is bad at comforting ppl but tries their best pls?

I feel like this blog will help me get into writing characters I never write for lol. I hope I made this to your liking :)

The afternoon started out normal for you two, a semi-quiet "date" in Idia's room. As it went the peaceful mood was ruined as Idia's frustration grew with each match he got stuck in. Taking a moment to look up from what you were doing to check on him again, it didn't seem like it would get any better.

"Idia...don't you think you should take a snack break or something? Maybe when you come back your ques will be better." After a few minutes of sporadic clicking followed by huff of anger he responded, almost dejectedly. "I just can't get these noobs in this que right now. They're completely messing up our strat for the match and they keep getting downed for bait. Anyone can see you can't save them but when I try and deal with the enemy I'm the loser that can't play....?"

Taking a moment, he sighs and closes out of the game laying his head down in his arms. It breaks your heart hearing him sound so upset from what these strangers said. You've never really known how to tell people it was ok without just bluntly saying that alone, but you felt like you had to try something to cheer him up and there was really only one thing that came to mind you just weren’t sure if he’d like it as much as you. So with a small hope in your head you get up from his bed and slowly walk over to his desk.

He flinches, not expecting anyone's touch and slowly looks up at you with slightly flushed cheeks. "I know it, " you pause a moment thinking of a way to not make this sound as awkward as possible for both of you before continuing, "...sucks having people say stuff like that about you, and I can't offer much but...do you wanna just, lay down?...maybe?"

The end of your proposal came out soft and meek by the time you finished. But you watch his face burst into color as he took a moment to articulate an understandable response of, "s-s...s-sure I- I guess..."

Walking over to the bed you could hear him following you. As you both laid down, taking him into your arms and letting him hide his face between the pillow and your shoulder. After a few moments of silence you hear a soft, "...You're pretty...good at this MC..."

Smiling, you just cuddle closer to him for warmth. That spot on the bed is where Ortho opens the door to find you both asleep an hour later.

Even though I hate him I would honestly wanna cry too with some online ques so I imagine that's where he would get upset from most is people online. Anyway I hope that was as you wanted, thank you for the ask &lt;3

[wakaoujisenhime]

Hi Hi could I request Kuroko, Kagamai, Akashi, Midorima and Murasakibara reaction to their s/o who's into photography and loves to take photos of them because they think their the most beautiful muse. They say things like "the light is hitting you perfectly please don't move until I take this picture." something like that lol

A/N: anon…this, THIS is a masterpiece of an idea and I love you for it (๑♡⌓♡๑) please enjoy! ♥️

Tags: the boys [KKMMA] x reader ✅ SFW ✅ fluff ✅

━━━━☆ ━━━━☆ ━━━━☆

Kuroko:

ok so the first time you took a picture of him was during lunch break

since he usually likes to spend his free time in the classroom while eating his homemade bento, the moment you became a couple you’d always join him

one day you were a bit late because one of the teachers had held you up, so you quickly texted him an apology for your delay and told him you’d be there soon so he can start eating without you

when you finally arrived, you immediately proceeded to apologize but promptly shut your mouth as you saw the scenery before you

Kuroko was reading one of his many novels, his elbows propped on the very edges of his desk, bento box and chopsticks untouched before him, blue eyes fixated on the text before him

everything about this was perfect as is, but what really gripped you and made you unconsciously reach for your camera, that you always had dangling from your neck, was the way the morning sun hit his face casting an ever so small shadow that only further accentuated his beautiful and calm facial features

as if in trance you gently push the small button on top of your camera and the shutter goes off

surprised by the sudden sound he turned his head in your direction and wanted to greet you but you cut him off even before he uttered a single syllable: “Tetsu, don’t move! The way the sun hits the back of your head right now is perfect…I just need to take a picture so bear with me for a moment.”

the way you had your left arm outstretched to stop any of his movements while your eyes were hidden behind the small rectangular object didn’t stop your boyfriend’s light blush to spread across his cheeks

he wasn’t used to being the only one in a photo so that alone made him a little nervous and embarrassed, but your silent comments and compliments on how his hair looked even more remarkable under the sunlight or how his facial features managed to perfectly cast shadows on his face that made him look more mature made his heart race faster than any game

luckily for your lover, this situation showed him another side of you that he rarely got to see, and who was he to interrupt your adorable mumbling just because of his embarrassment?

.

since then you used any and every opportunity to take his photo, whether it was in Maji Burger as he drank his usual smoothie or when he waited for you in front of a fountain in the park where you scheduled your date

when he finally asked you about it you proudly announced: “I’m sorry, but I can’t help the fact that my lover is such an amazing model for basically any type of photo! I always thought that you were hiding your beauty beneath those bangs and turns out I was absolutely right!”

you continued showering him with compliments until he couldn’t take it anymore and shut you up with a gentle kiss

“If it weren’t for your keen eye, I could’ve continued hiding myself and avoid the other’s gazes”

“Do you hate being the center of attention that much?” you whispered out, your eyes directly peering into his own big ones

with a smile he gently caresses your cheek and answers: “Your attention is all I need.”

Kagami:

Kagami was aware of your fascination for photography, I mean how could he not be when every time the two of you were out together for different reasons, you’d always take your camera with you and snap a photo or two

what he wasn’t aware of though, was what or better said who the subject of your images was

every time you reached for your camera the lens was always aimed in his direction and it never bothered him, because he figured that you were taking a photo of the scenery behind him so he never bothered to pose, smile, or anything of that sort

one day though it made him wonder whether his presence might disturb whatever images you’d taken so the next time you aimed your camera he turned his head, looking directly into the object’s circular lens, and just as he was about to say something the familiar sound of the shutter shut him up

“Perfect…that might be the best one yet” you silently praised and smiled to yourself

W-Wait a second…

“(Y/N)?”

“Hm?”

“What did you just photograph?”

you looked at him with slightly wide eyes, confusion spreading across your face as you answered: “Why of you of course”

and that’s when it clicked

all this time you’d taken pictures of what he thought to be the nature and scenery but in actuality, it was him you’d focused on

“W-Wait! You mean to t-tell me that I wasn’t in the way of your photos a-and that you actually photographed–“

before he could finish his sentence he realized something else that made him blush even harder

Perfect…Absolutely breathtaking…I’m so glad that I took my camera with me…The lighting and wind make you even prettier…What tranquility and gentleness, I’m in love…You’re so beautiful

all these comments that he’d brushed off, thinking that they were some kind of weird quirk of yours that resembled his captain’s whenever he talked about his samurai series, now made perfect sense

when the reality of the situation hit him he couldn’t help but bury his face in his hands and grunt at his stupidness, meanwhile, you tried to wrap your head around what Kagami had been believing up until today

looking at him being that frustrated with himself made you chuckle, but it also made you feel bad since you never directly told him so you decided that now might be the best time

with a gentle smile, you once again raised the camera to your face, waited until his figure became the focus and blurred the background, and gently pressed down the shutter

the sound made the young man beside you flinch and ever so hesitantly glance up to you with a dreading expression on his face

after pushing some of the buttons you cozy up to your boyfriend until your shoulders touched and showed him the image you had just taken with a proud smile

“I’m sorry for not telling you about it, but if I shared the fact that you’re my muse with you, you probably would’ve never allowed me to take any” you reasoned as you looked into his eyes and observed the way his cheeks reddened the moment you called him your muse

“I’m your muse…?”

you nodded and showed him a few other photos that all showed him do average everyday things such as eating something, chatting on his phone, warming up, etc. and even though they weren’t that special, the way you managed to capture him, his expression, and even some of the background made them all look professional

“Taiga, you’re such a nice guy that you would’ve probably offered to be my model if I had asked you to, but I wanted to capture that raw beauty of yours, the one that you display on every basketball match and that was the only way to do it…or at least that’s what I thought”

you paused before returning to the most recent image

“Having you being aware might be better after all…just look here at the way your eyes sparkle and your posture, both tense and relaxed at the same time gives off the impression of confidence and a tinge of uncertainty, both summing up your profound character that I love so much”

listening to your explanation made his heart beat harder against his chest and to stop you from fawning even more he covered your camera with his big hand and murmured: ”I-It’s fine already…I get it”

after seeing yet another unexpected expression on your boyfriend’s face you tried to get another shot of him, but this time he tried his best to avoid you and the two of you ended up chasing each other around the park, attracting the attention of many fellow visitors, but to you, it was as if only Kagami and you existed

Midorima:

one afternoon during the end of basketball practice, you had joined your green-haired boyfriend with his supplementary exercises, observing him and the perfect way he shoots one three-pointer after the other

you’d asked him long ago whether it was alright with him to take his photo and despite the many protests he’d agreed under the condition that it happened during basketball practice

unfortunately, the way he played didn’t manage to ignite the spark you needed to snap that one photo you’ve always been hoping for, neither his skills nor his playstyle were to blame for that, there was just something missing that you couldn’t name

the way you sighed caught Midorima’s attention and made him stop mid-throw so that he could take a glance in your direction and when he saw the disappointed face you made it made his heart ache

“Is something the matter (Y/N)?” he suddenly asked as he sat beside you, towel in one hand and his drinking bottle in the other

you shook your head and tried to play it off, blaming your bad mood on one of your earlier classes and the complaisant boyfriend he was he let it go (also partially because he was afraid that if he prodded further you’d get mad)

out of the corner of your eyes, you could see how he took off his glasses and started cleaning them

and that’s when your heart throbbed

the way his long fingers carefully handled the fragile black frames, the skillful and cautious way he removed any speck of dust from the glass, mixed with the way some of his green hair’s strands stuck to his slightly sweaty forehead, and lastly his beautiful long eyelashes were what won you over

before you knew it, you had grabbed your camera and had taken a photo of his profile, the shutter’s sound startling both him and you

“D-Did you just take a ph–”

“Shush! Stay just like that!” you blurted out, your hand on his chest to restrict his movements and keep him in that exact pose he was right now

with a reluctant expression on his face, he avoided looking in your direction, hoping that you wouldn’t notice the light blush spreading across his cheeks, meanwhile you smiled to yourself at his futile attempt and once again snapped another picture…

.

thanks to that one coincidental photo you managed to take back then, you finally knew what you have been missing all this time, namely your boyfriend being himself and not the Midorima Shintaro from Shuutoku who never missed a shot

in order to achieve that “normality” you had to take as many sneaky shots as possible, but they unfortunately never stayed as secretive as you would’ve wanted them to be because he either caught you mid-photo or your own comments betrayed you

Just like that Shin, look more to the side!

Leave your glasses be, you’re even more beautiful without them!

Don’t touch your hair! The way it is right now compliments your face perfectly!

Even if you scowl at me, you still look good!

he’d always run up to you afterward, blushing at the entire situation and no matter how much he ended up protesting, scolding you, or trying to take the camera from you to delete the photos, he never truly was upset about it

the reason Midorima let it all slide was because he enjoyed the way you smiled when you looked at the images you’d taken

the way your eyes practically sparkled mixed with the slight flush of your cheeks made his heart race every single time

“Is something wrong Shin? You’ve been staring at my face for quite a while.”

embarrassed of being caught by you, he squeezed your nose and stuttered: “I-It’s nothing, k-keep looking at y-your photos!”

Murasakibara:

taking Murasakibara’s pictures wasn’t an issue, you simply asked him and he agreed with no resistance whatsoever

you were over the moon at first and even made sure to have your camera with you at all times so that when an opportunity presented itself you’d be ready

from a pedestrian’s point of view, you looked like a cute touristic couple which consisted of the somewhat bored boyfriend, who agreed to have his photos taken for your happiness, and you, who couldn’t hold the excitement of being together with this young man back while happily snapping one pic after the other

their thoughts weren’t that off from the truth, you truly were delighted to be able to practice your hobby, and even having the tall young man as your model made it even better

thanks to the amount of muscles he’d gained from his daily basketball training, his height, his beautifully long and purple hair, his constantly relaxed expression, and his surprisingly gentle facial features, your boyfriend was already photogenic as is so any photo you took was downright breathtaking

and yet, those fulfilling feelings were rather short-lived

as time went by and you shot one photo after the other you came to realize that you hadn’t managed to take a single photo where he genuinely smiled or grinned

getting him to do either was nearly impossible, even for you

all you ever managed to summon was a very loving and gentle smile that resembled that of an angel; it was so pure that you could read all of his emotions from it, but that smile was reserved for your cuddle sessions that always ended up with him almost crushing you with his embrace and his low giggles as the result to your mixed reactions

“(Y/N)-chin, let’s go over there and sit down…I can’t walk anymore”

you giggled and took his hand that he’d extended to you, following him to a bench that was protected by a couple of trees, which cast down a perfect shadow on the wooden surface

the young man plopped down as if he’d ran for hours without a single break and wrapped his big arms around your waist, burying his face in your tummy

his childish behavior made you giggle and you softly caressed his head

“Didn’t you want to eat your snacks?” you asked after a short while, only to receive a silent growl as an answer

“Let me stay like this for a while…please”

his cute way of pleading with you only broadened your smile, which turned it into a grin as soon as an idea popped into your mind

with one hand still on his head, you used the other to aim the camera lens at the young man’s head as you asked your lover to look up at you

it took him a short while to comply because he kinda had the feeling that you wanted to ask for yet another photo, but he ultimately gave in and cast his purple eyes up to you

still smiling you glanced at the small screen on your camera in order to make sure that everything was perfect when you subconsciously blurted out: “Everything about you is charming Atsushi, the way the wind caresses your hair, perfectly accentuating your gentle face’s features…I’m so glad to have you as my muse”

…

…

your eyes went wide as you noticed the change in his expression

his cheeks had taken on an unexpected shade of deep red, one that you’ve never seen on him before; his eyes were a bit glassy and maybe equally as wide as yours, and his mouth was slightly agape

“Wha-! What are you saying (Y/N)-chin?!” he screamed out and once again hid his face before you could manage to snap a picture of this rare expression

“Atsushi, wait don’t hide! Let me take a photo!”

your protests fell on deaf ears and no matter how much you struggled or tried to loosen his grip around your waist, his strength made sure to make all of your attempts futile

“I-If I let you see me like that…I won’t be cool in your eyes anymore a-and I don’t want that” he finally admitted in a low voice

it took you a short while to comprehend what exactly he was trying to say; and when you did you couldn’t hold your laughter in any longer, ruffled his hair, and kissed the top of his head, waiting until he had regained his composure and returned your affectionate gestures

Akashi:

having the famous Emperor as your lover was like a dream, but when it came to keeping things a secret you were at a clear disadvantage because this man read you like an open book

no matter how hard you tried to act innocent or clueless, he’d always be able to add two and two together and expose whatever you were hiding within a matter of minutes

same goes for your fondness of photography and the fact that you had your eyes set on him as your muse

one day when you visited his home the two of you were in the living room and he was playing a round of shogi against himself while you sorted your camera’s gallery

when you took a glance at the young man your heart throbbed

the soft light of the sun that managed to come forth between the many clouds of that day shone right at him; in order to block the light from disturbing his vision, he’d leaned his chin on his hand and let his fingers extend to the corner of his mesmerizing eyes; a soft smile adorned his lips as his left hand stretched out to move one of the many wooden pieces before him

you couldn’t help it and immediately proceeded to take a picture, successfully catching him off guard

“Did you take a picture of me?” he asked without shifting his line of sight from the board, a hint of amusement in his voice

“Mhm, I did…sorry” you apologized before sighing to yourself, “it’s just that you looked really beautiful and I thought it’d be a shame if I didn’t use the opportunity.”

being called beautiful was something he wasn’t used to, so as he heard that word pass your lips, he froze up and finally tore his attention away from the game, and now gazed at you with a warm smile

“You can take more if you’d like.”

“R-Really?”

and with that, he became your conspirator in your mission to take as many photos of him as your camera’s storage could handle

.

“Just like that Sei…look more to the lef- yes, perfect!”

you spat one command after the other as the young man before you held onto the reins of his gorgeous white horse and let his hand gently run along the animal’s head

after snapping a few more photos you looked at them in silence, an unusual scene for your boyfriend

“Is something the matter (Y/N)? Aren’t you satisfied with these?”

your head shot up and you violently shook your head, explaining that it was nothing and you were just lost in thought; even though he quickly realized that you weren’t telling the truth, he chose to keep silent until you were ready to tell him what truly bothered you

unexpectedly, your silence lasted longer than he’d hoped for and no matter how unique he tried to organize these little photo sessions you did, your mood never seemed to improve which frustrated him

when he saw you sitting on the couch all sad and unmotivated while you scrolled through your camera roll, he immediately turned around and went back outside to his garden to mull over ways in which he could help you out

so to distract himself, he picked up his basketball, started dribbling, and began perfecting his shooting

the sound of the ball hitting the wall caught your attention, causing you to get up and search for its source

when you opened the front door you were greeted by a similar sight as the one back when you’d first taken Akashi’s photo which made you smile

“Sei-chan, that’s what I was looking for” you whispered as you subconsciously took a photo of the exact moment where the young man jumped and gently threw the ball against the wall, simulating a layup shot

still unaware of your presence the young man wiped his sweat with his shirt’s collar and the moment he felt your arms wrap around his body he jumped ever so slightly

before he could ask you anything, let alone say something, you kissed his cheek and whispered: “I knew it…you’re always beautiful, but the moment you shine the brightest is when you’re being yourself”

moved by your words he turned around, returning your embrace and kissing your lips as he then proceeded to hide his blushing face and glassy eyes from you by pressing you closer to himself

[apompkwrites]

reader impact || first meetings: unreconciled stars

series masterlist characters: scaramouche, fischl, mona genre: fluff summary: a game has been released entitled genshin impact, consisting of otherworldly abilities relying on the basic elements of nature. the game follows the story of an interdimensional traveling twin in search of their other half. along this journey, they meet different characters that live in this world. including you. notes: i'm sorry fischl and mona's aren't that good :(( this is actually my first time writing for them but i hope you enjoy <33

scaramouche's playthrough -

oof scara

scara scara scara

this boy hates his chat and at this point they don't care.

it's not like he'll badmouth them, right?

think ludwig.

that's him.

he's a very angy boy please--

as for what he does?

much like childe he'd do a lot of pvp games.

he's not too keen on showing off his personal life.

he prefers that boundary between his viewers and himself, y'know?

he honestly doesn't even understand why his viewers like him.

he knows he's a mean person and yet here they are :/

he doesn't take requests from his viewers he just kinda plays whatever he wants.

imagine his viewers' surprise when they see him streaming genshin--

they asked why a lot.

"it seemed cool."

this man just wants to play some good ol' anime games.

his chat calls him soft and he just glares.

anyway now he's actually playing.

he's not really into mondstadt's characters they're all... okay to him.

he feels a bit better in liyue.

not because it's pretty oh no no no.

because look at all the enemies outside >:))

he'll clear the whole field don't test him.

anyway, now onto the unreconciled stars event :00

this man really doesn't like katheryne--

anyway at this point he's tasked with find fritz, which he doesn't really want to do.

he sees the dude on the ground but that's only after he sees someone standing next to him.

and then he sees someone standing next to him :0

"is the guy on the floor sleeping?"

"i believe so. i've tried everything, but he won't wake up."

he will pause to look at your outfit.

it's so complex but it's so cool!!!

his chat suspects something's up but... he'll just snap at them like he normally does.

but he'll silently admire you <3

also yOU'RE T I N Y ! !

and then paimon points out your clothes and the cameras pans up your body--

"heh... and by "this person over here," you mean me, right?"

he will choose the "those unique clothes are quite beautiful" option in a heartbeat.

he doesn't care that his chat is teasing him, he just wants you to know :))

he's kinda sad when you leave, though...

"please come back soon..."

his CHAT HAS NEVER SEEN HIM SO SOFT BEFORE

skip to a few events later when the constellation is revealed to be leonard's.

the sudden cutscene catches him off guard because he's prepared to fight someone.

"hi! sounds interesting... mind if i join you?"

he won't say anything but he will physically relax at the sight of you.

you make this man soft please--

he's lowkey angry when his character is teleported away from you :(

(name): the sixth of the eleven fatui harbingers

HYPEHYPEHYPE

YOU'RE SO COOL!

of course he doesn't say that but his chat can tell that's what he's thinking.

this man's eyes go wide when you order the fatui around.

please help he really likes you. you're so assertive and cute and cool and just AGH--

fischl's playthrough -

fischl can and will do cosplay streams.

her fans like to watch her because of the "character" she puts up for the camera.

honestly she just does this because she genuinely enjoys cosplaying and bringing characters to life.

oz is the nickname for her pet bird :))

she definitely gets a lot of trolls in her chat that make fun of her for her cosplays and "dumb" way of speaking.

in which case she'll just yell at them using her "dumb" way of speaking.

she really does care about how people see her but her chat comforts her a lot after, so she feels better after a few minutes :))

the games she plays are very fantasy based and take place in worlds that don't exist.

once she gets into a game, she'd pick her favorite character and cosplay as them everytime she streams that game.

sometimes she does sewing streams where she actually makes her own cosplay with her fans.

they like to make it with her if they have the materials :D

genshin impact was a game her fans recommended because they actually want to see fischl cosplay the characters.

they will beg her to do the cosplay creation on stream.

(they defintitely know who she'll choose to cosplay but it's fine)

when she reaches the unreconciled stars event, she's really excited to learn about the fated meteorite granting sleep upon touch.

she's ready to go around teyvat in search of an answer when...

"katheryne! vassal of the immernachtreich, do mine ears deceive me, or didst thou cry out mine holy name in earnest supplication not one moment ago?"

some of her chat is obviously confused by your speech but her long time viewers can understand some of it.

oz, who fischl had brought with her to play, seems excited to see your familiar flying to you :)

fischl is just as excited as he is!!

please you speak just like her and you're voice is so nice and it actually sounds like the developers put thought into what the speech would mean in "proper speech."

"a pleasure to meet you again, katheryne."

YOU'RE FAMILIAR IS JUST AS COOL AS YOU ARE!!

some of her viewers will beg for her to skip through your dialogue.

when she sees those comments, she will purposefully let your dialogue play out, proceed to read out that same dialogue, and respond to you as if she was actually talking to you.

not just to spite them but because it's also a lot of fun for her <3

"it would seem the gods have blessed us with meeting such a well-respected being!"

translation: she's really excited to have met you.

as soon as you spoke she decided she would cosplay as you.

she's already planning out all of the materials she'll need and how much time it would take.

if your familiar is a bird, you best bet oz will be in her photo shoots for your cosplay.

most of the time you're on screen, she'll talk to her viewers about you in her classic chuunibyou style <333

she's really sad when it's time for you to leave :(((

"... goodbye, fischl. you are a good listener. i enjoy chatting with you. to be honest, most of the other adventurers in the guild only ever talk to me when they wanna hear (familiar)'s reconnaissance reports... this little journey we had... it was a great adventure. i'm just sorry that is has to end so abruptly..."

she might cry wait--

she relates to you even more now :(

"ah! what am i doing? i totally broke form..."

you're too cute pleas--

mona's playthrough -

mona does a lot of nightly streams.

it's very rare for you to catch her streaming with daylight.

she likes to share things about astrology while sitting outside drinking something warm.

she'll do a lot of nightly gaming streams as well.

mainly calmer games that people can vibe to in the background.

she prefers to keep her streams lowkey and chill, much like the life she wants to lead.

if only she had the money to do so...

yes, mona is still struggling with money even as a streamer.

she greatly appreciates any donations her fans give to her because she practically relies on them to pay her rent and daily necessities.

of course, it's not like she's completely struggling, just enough to barely get her by.

anyway, her fans ask her about playing genshin impact, inticing her with their talk about the stars and night sky in the game.

she's the type of player to take her time in the environment and take a lot of pictures of her character at night.

she's actually really excited when she hears about this new event centering around the stars and sky :D

soon enough, she gets around to the part where she is need of an astrologist.

she's HYPED to hear there's an astrologist in the game.

"someone looking for me? who is it?"

she will squeal, please.

look at you!!!

your whole design has stars and is space-themed and you're so cute and you're voice is so soothing ! ! !

she really likes listening to you talk about astrology because your voice gets even softer than before.

that scene where you go to the cliff??

please she has that scene as her lockscreen <3

you just look so cool when you start to do your process.

you're so focused and the way they animate your process in the game is beautiful.

and then the fatui harbinger interrupts one of your meetings :00

you grab onto mona's character and teleport away in a cloud of stars and specks of your elemental vision.

she's kinda embarrassed when you scold her about getting involved with the harbinger--

but not only are you really cool and awesome, you're super strong, too!

please be sassy more she really likes how proud you sound :))

[yjwhatif]

With the semi/cryptic confirmation of Ed and Barts relationship in the series I have a question:

Do you think everyone knows about them (in world) or do you think they’re keeping it secret from some?

It’s just a thought that’s been in my head recently. It is most likely fuelled by the whole drama of G&B not being able to depict a “specific character” (it’s definitely Bart) as gay. They’ve had to hide the relationship from their audience - because of ridiculous reasons - but there are still moments that bring up the question - Are they? Before the reveals from AskGreg, I kinda thought- well they are clearly not together yet, but perhaps they both have feelings for one another and are just waiting for the other to make the next move because they’re nervous idiots who don’t want to have read the situation wrong — all while their friends are like - seriously guys? just get together already. Kinda like they did in s1 with Wally and Artemis - and I guess early Supermartian as well - which I would have been okay with... though with the likelihood of there being at least another two year time skip you’d probably have missed the getting together moment - which would kinda suck. Anyway. With the information about the chances being they were supposed to clearly be in a relationship throughout S3 — which makes the whole structuring of ILLUSIONS just make sense — it’s got me viewing their moments with a whole new energy. Also, I saw this post by Greg —

And let me just clarify, I have no idea if this is actually referencing the Ed and Bart stuff, it might not be (probably isn't). This is purely me speculating.

My reading of this is they got told they couldn’t depict Bart as gay pretty late on and that specifically affected ILLUSIONS where they likely intended to confirm the relationship with that first shot - the kiss on the cheek moment. Even now that moment is just odd - because it’s there but it’s not - because technically there is no actual kiss… which I think is absolutely the point. It plants the seed without actually breaking any rules - all by keeping the momentum but removing the specific kiss frame. It’s the only moment that I feel is explicit in saying they are in a relationship - everything else you can just read into and imply there’s something - but they technically don’t confirm anything.

The whole thing is actually quite interesting - despite the reasoning for it being totally ridiculous. By keeping/showing what they did... People notice it. People talk about it. People reflect on it. More people talk about it. People writing. Make. Create. Discuss it. An entire audience is formed who want and support it. It’s a whole thing now because people noticed it and generated a positive response to it - and that was before all the AskGreg information. The whole reason YJ got a season 3 is because the fans fought to get it back. Enough people talked about it - and kept talking about it - to convince TPTB that the show should come back. Greg and Brandon know this. They know the power the fans have and maybe they hoped that power would help them again in freeing Bart from these ridiculous restrictions. #letbartoutofthecloset

Obviously, we can't know until S4 is released whether G&B got the permission to confirm Bart's sexuality the way they envisioned - but maybe the responses that came during the release of 3b were enough to convince TPTB that they were fighting a losing battle. But who knows, people in power can be very stubborn at times, so we will just have to see what we get. Fingers crossed they eased up though - and not just because of the Ed/Bart relationship (which I am obviously a fan of -- it's fine if not everyone is) - but because these restrictions on LGBTQ+ content shouldn't be a thing and need to stop -- there is just no validity in them.

Anyhow. despite their not being allowed to officially confirm the relationship, Greg's comment about Ed's having a boyfriend they can't name basically confirms the fact without technically breaking any rules again. Masterfully done Wiesman. With this, it implies the pair are in fact dating during S3 which brings us back to the original question... but who knows??

With the comments of Virgil during ILLUSIONS, it's easy to assume their friends do in fact know. They also seem to have no problem being close and interacting with one another whilst in the presence of others -- that is, except for one moment...

Ever since the first time I saw this episode (ELDER WISDOM) I have always found this moment strange - because Ed seems to get kinda awkward when Barry comes to check on Bart. (Or that's how I see it at least.) He realises Flash is standing there and immediately pulls his head down averting his gaze -- almost like he doesn't want to be seen by the elder. But why? Does Barry not know about the pair -- or maybe he doesn't know about Bart and Ed thinks their current closeness is too revealing -- who's to say Bart's even fully out to the world yet -- who's to say either of them are? We certainly don't since we weren't allowed to be shown. We can't know until we know - so until then we can play the speculation game while we wait.

Bart is certainly a bit of a secret keeper when it comes to being himself. I'm still convinced the Bart we see onscreen is merely his interpretation of what he thinks people expect from a speedster in this time. We saw 'real' Bart, he was snarky and cynical and nothing like the Bart we've had for the past two seasons. He said it himself - he's playing a character - and I don't think he knows how to break out of it - not while the possibility exists that it might hurt those he's grown to care about. Bart wants to be seen a certain way to avoid acknowledging the truth of the past - if people see him as happy and smiley, then no one will question him on things he doesn't want to talk about. The problem with that is you can't hide yourself forever - cracks begin to form and eventually, the truth comes out whether you want it to or not. So who knows how comfortable Bart is revealing any of his true self to those he cares about. Maybe his relationship with Ed will be the thing that finally helps him find comfort in being himself, whilst also trusting others to still accept him as himself... and maybe getting him that bit of therapy he really needs.

This brings us to Eduardo… First, can I just say it made me so happy to see Greg’s confirmation of Ed being gay - though it is slightly annoying that he was robbed of his explicit onscreen reveal in S3 thanks to the drama with Bart. His whole relationship to his powers in S2 to S3 fits the representation of coming to terms with your sexuality/identity from a very negative point of view. Feeling like it’s something that needs fixing or needs to be “cured” - to then finding the light and freedom in accepting yourself for you. His growth between seasons is brilliant. He understands the hate and insecurity the teens are feeling because he felt it himself. He does all he can to help them because he never felt he got that help when he needed it - and no one deserves to feel worse for being who they are. Obviously, the things he talks about are framed in the context of dealing with/accepting the meta-gene - yet there are certain moments where it seems he’s saying more than that…

All of which got me wondering - why did Ed originally runaway? It certainly wasn’t because of the meta-abilities he did not yet have. All he’s ever said on the subject was he thought he wanted to be with his father - the man it seems he barely had a relationship with. No, I think Ed has been running from himself for a long time and his dad just happened to be an actual direction for him to aim for. The way he speaks about his wanting to be “cured” and “praying to get rid of his powers” suggests an upbringing around religion and traditional ideas of there being a ‘normal/proper’ way to be — while anything that doesn’t fit that way is treated as other or something that needs to be changed or 'fixed'. Maybe he ran to avoid being found out and run the risk of being ostracised by those he loved. Or maybe he was found out and leaving wasn’t entirely his choice*. If this was the case, I can certainly imagine him not wanting to come out to his dad for fear of his reaction and completely losing all chance of that father-son relationship they’re both trying so hard to keep. It can seem easier to live in secret than risk the reality of loss. So while the meta-gene likely wasn’t the main thing he was angry about in S2, it was able to become a physical thing he could blame and focus his anger on - without having to think about where his issues truly lied… Though with a bit of time it also became the thing he was comfortable conveying his feelings through...

“I’ve learned to accept, even love my meta-abilities”

I love this line so much and it’s all because of the delivery by Freddy Rodrigues. There is the slightest hint of a pause before he says “meta-abilities”, which gives the impression he was about to say something else before then remembering himself and who he was talking to. Then there’s the small inflecion he put on “love”, which makes it sound like it’s the first time he’s heard himself say the words out loud. I don’t hear him talking about the gene - I hear him talking about finally accepting himself - all of himself - for the first time in maybe ever and finally feeling happy because of it. I hear growth... From being the angry 14-year-old skater who just wanted to run away and escape any way he could. To the 16-year-old councillor/Outsider jumping straight into the danger to protect and inspire those who need it. Both he and Bart are such strong characters with so much more to be seen - especially when it comes to the insecurities which lie behind their masks. They both compliment each other pretty perfectly - both powers-wise and personality-wise - meaning while they try to hide themself from others, I don't think it'll take long for them to realise they can't hide from each other.

Anywho, that’s all the speculatary nonsense I’ve got for today. This turned into such a patchwork of vaguely linkable thoughts I’ve had which barely relate to the one I started with - but that is usually how it goes. Take it as you will…

Also, completely unrelated to YJ, but Bi Tim Drake now exists in dc canon which is really cool - seeing all of the joy it’s sparked has really given me something to smile about this week… There is hope after all. 🌈

— LB ⚡️☀️

* OK so here’s a little random snapshot into the chaos of my mind— as I was writing the Ed stuff I had a scene pop into my head of Ed finally -for whatever reason- having to tell his dad that he didn’t leave his abuelo’s home - he got kicked out. His dads confused about this and asks Why? What did you do? And Ed’s like Nothing… I didn’t do anything wrong… he just… found out something. So Seniors like Found out what Eduardo? And Ed’s getting really nervous now because he doesn’t want to say it - That I, um… I’m… Senior step a fraction closer as he picks up on Ed’s anxiety but remains an appropriate distance - Son? Then after a tensening silence he finally says it - sounding the most vulnerable he has ever been - I’m gay… The silence is there again, heavy and unnerving, neither saying a word. Ed can’t move as he’s lock in his elders unreadable glare. Expecting the worse his head drops to take in the floor - anything that isn’t the disappointment ahead - he feels the urge to disappear burning up inside him - consuming him. Then just as he’s about to escape he’s suddenly grounded by a steadying hand rooting itself on his shoulder. Tentatively he lifts his gaze to witness his father, there, with nothing but love and support in his eyes - Mijo. The clamping in his chest dissipates as all the tension escapes at once, along with the breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. Ed embraces his dad and the elder embraces his son. Together. A family.

Anyway. That’s probably a load of rubbish but hey my minds full of it… but basically I really want to see a tender moment between Ed and his dad. For whatever reason. Something where Ed’s in a vulnerable state and in need of some emotional support from his father - and without hesitation his father steps up - because that’s what we haven’t seen from them yet. It would perfectly portray the strength of their relationship as father and son - despite their previous struggles - and prove that Senior is willing to support his son no matter the situation as the father - not just the scientist. Its the final step in their healing journey and I wanna see it so bad!!

[shinescape]

tw: Poly relationship. Character being blindfolded and tied up. No smut just a lot of tension, teasing and suggestive content.

note: 2.3k of i don't know how to put it but it happened.

Play time

It was Saturday, resting day for most and laundry day for you and the boys. The fact that their clothes piled more than yours had you sighing loudly as you placed all the dried clothes in a basket.

It was almost lunch time but the other two were still sound asleep. You went into your room and spotted Seonghwa lying down on the bed, busy on his phone. You stepped closer to the bed and tilted the basket, all the garments falling on the bed and some hit his chest.

You didn’t say a word and sat down on the bed, starting to fold the clothes. “I’m finishing this round then I’ll help, okay?” You hummed back in response and continue on with the folding. Their clothes were bigger than yours so even after a few shirts, you were starting to get tired. You heard Seonghwa clicked his phone off and he started to sit down properly before taking a piece to fold.

The both of you worked in silence and the once pile of clothes started to disappear gradually. “Why are we even folding their clothes as well?” Seonghwa asked out of nowhere. “You’ve already folded more than ten shirts and decided to ask that, Hwa? You know how both of us hate it when they just put their clothes on the sofa so might as well just do this.” He looked at you and pouted, agreeing to the fact that both of you can’t handle the amount of clothes around the house scattered by the other two.

He looked at you long enough and decided to ask, “Is there anything you want to tell me, sweetheart?” You paused at his sudden endearment. What is going on all of a sudden, you thought. “Like what?” “Is there anything you want to try besides the usual things we do? You know like se-” Before he could finish his words, you threw a boxer at his face.

“Hey, I was asking nicely you know. But seriously, I saw the way you look at me sometimes. It’s like you have something you want to say but you shrug it off afterwards.” At this point, your whole body heated up yet you still fold the clothes like it’s nothing. “Come on, don’t ignore me, babe. Just tell me what it is that you want to try. Hurm?”

The first thing you should do was avoid his eyes or his pouting lips, basically his whole face but you looked up and everything just jumbled up in your head. Telling him your unspoken fantasies would embarrass you to death and it’s Park Seonghwa we’re talking here. He’s like a switch, sometimes he’s kind and soft and other times he’s dangerous and rough.

He was still staring at you intently, the boxer still in his hand. “I...I’ve always wanted to try blindfolding you,” Your lips feel dry all of a sudden and you licked them before continuing, “and tying your hands up.” You literally covered your face and slammed down to the covers, as if it would change anything.

Seonghwa could not believe what he just heard and the fact that you said it nervously made his stomach churned weirdly. He pushed away whatever that was between you two and pulled you back up by the shoulder. He watched how you were avoiding from looking at him, as if you might just lose control and pushed him down that instant.

“Is that all?” You shivered at the low tone of his voice and took the courage to look at him in the eyes. “I kinda like seeing you in blue jeans and a white shirt too.” You said cautiously.

He was processing everything that you said as his fingers slowly let go of you without realising. Felt as if you were going to be sucked into his gaze, you clumsily get off the bed and leave the room.

Leaving Seonghwa in his own thoughts, questioning why he asked in the first place if he himself can’t handle the fact that his lover has this side that was kept hidden all this time. It’s like he unlocked a part of you and was trying to wrap the idea around his head.

A week passed by after that seemingly heart to heart talk, it was Saturday again but no laundry to wash just a normal weekend breakfast.

You were having breakfast with Wooyoung since the other two went out early in the morning to god knows where. He wanted to cook you breakfast but you declined saying he should just rest and both of you ended up eating cold milk with cereal.

“Is everything okay? You seemed out of it these days.” He ruffled your hair and pulled you closer, planting a kiss on your temple. “Everything’s fine.” You smiled at him and hoped that he let it pass.

He narrowed his eyes at you and you can’t help but pinched his cheeks. “Any plans for today?” “None, I’m just going to laze around and play games. Unless, you have something else in mind.” He smirked to which you rolled your eyes at him. “Nothing, I’m just gonna go take a nap.” You kissed him on the lips and stood up with the bowl in your hand.

You heard movements as you were washing the bowl, an arm snaked its way around your waist. “You woke up an hour ago, let’s play a bit hmm?” You were controlling every fiber in your body to not react to his advances.

You turned around and hugged him back, “Imagine Seonghwa finding out we had fun without him, he’ll get upset.” You tried to reason. Wooyoung pulled back from the hug and gave you an annoyed look.

“You’re always so obedient to him.” He suddenly went straight to your neck and bit it. You were taken aback by his actions but he pulled away before you could scold him. He went away sulking and you sighed as you rubbed the skin he just bit. It hurts but the moist of his lips lingered and odd thoughts were getting to your head.

Afterwards, you were playing with your phone on the sofa that after some time you actually fell asleep. A couple hours later, you woke up to someone entering one of the doors in the house. You rubbed your eyes and stood up to stretch your limbs.

The house was still quiet and you assumed that Wooyoung was just in his room. You walked to your room and was about to twist the knob when it burst open, surprising you in the process. “Are you going out again, Seonghwa?” You took in his outfit and noticed that it was different than earlier in the morning.

He walked up closer to you and held you by the shoulders, “You want to do it now?” You had to blink a few times and looked at him confused. “I just woke up...and why all of a sudden?” That’s when you realised his outfit. He’s wearing a white cotton shirt and a pair of blue jeans.

You placed a palm on his chest and turned your head to the side. What the hell, is he serious about this? You felt his fingers wrapped around your hand that was on his torso and was pulling you inside the room. It was safe to say you were wide awake the moment you saw him but what’s about to happen doesn’t look safe at all.

You were sitting on the bed and he was standing right in front of you, looking fine as ever. He looked down at you and gave you something. “Is this yours?” You examine the two materials that he passed. One was a lace and the other was a tie. He hummed and crawled on the bed, leaning at the backrest.

You were contemplating as usual. As much as it was exciting, you were still somewhat intimidated by him. You made your way and sat in front of him. “I can’t believe you want to do this.” You said and tried to read his face, his eyes were staring directly at you yet the tips of his ears were red.

“This is going to be the first and last.” He said and ushered you to go on with it. You went closer and took both his hands behind him, tying it up with the necktie he gave earlier. The both of you were looking into each other's eyes as you made sure the tie was secured properly around his wrists.

“Is it too tight?” You whispered shyly. This was a first for you thus you wanted to make sure he was absolutely fine with it. He shook his head and smiled at you. You wondered how he was able to smile when you can tell deep down he’s about to lose it, the fact that he agreed to this was enough of a shocker to you.

Your eyes were leveled now and you just had to confirm, “Are you really sure about this, Hwa?” “Just do it, sweetheart.” You gulped at his reply and slowly covered his eyes with the lace.

His eyes were your favourites, just staring into them always made you weak but seeing him in this state sparked something in you like never before. You made sure he can’t see and even waved your hand in front of his blinded eyes to confirm.

You told him to lie down comfortably even though his hands were behind his back which made it hard to move around. “I can’t believe I did this to you.” You took in the sight of the never before seen Seonghwa and felt heat rushed throughout your body.

He was nervous since he couldn't see and his hands were tied so the only thing he could do was licked his lips. You got up from the bed slowly and looked at him again. He doesn’t seem as intimidating as he always was and it surely excites you yet you didn’t know what to do next. “You’re still there right?” He questioned and you hummed at him in response.

Without thinking much, you left the room and went to find Wooyoung. You had your fair share of experience but you never took the lead and realise how embarrassing that sounded. It was always Seonghwa, he does everything to make you feel loved and satisfied.

“Woo, I need your help.” You found him in his room, on his phone. He sat up and gave you a questioning look. “What is it?” You didn’t reply and rushed to his side and dragged him to where Seonghwa was.

When he saw the state Seonghwa was in, he gasped so loud you had to put a hand over his mouth. “You did this to him?” He asked quietly and you nodded in embarrassment.

Wooyoung cleared his throat loudly and saw Seonghwa froze. “Did you call him here?” “I’m sorry Hwa. To be honest I don’t know what to do and Woo seemed like he can help out a bit.” You heard him groan from the bed. “I’m going to have so much fun right now.” He smirked at the older male who was now trying to untie himself.

“You should go sit on him. For a start.” You gawked at his directness and he only pushed you to the bed as a support. You could not believe what was going on yet both your legs were now wrapped on either side of Seonghwa’s body.

Wooyoung who was now on the swivel chair with crossed legs watched the sight unfold in front of him. He told you to move up to his stomach and you heard the man under you hissed. “Stop...moving too much.” You had to admit Seonghwa was looking hot and bothered right under you and that lace made him look even hotter if that was even possible.

You couldn’t help but kiss him and felt that he wanted more as he tried to hold on to your lips longer yet you pulled away. Of course you felt bad but you have all the time to kiss on later so what’s the rush right?

“Shouldn’t we get that shirt off from him, babe?” You turned to watch Wooyoung taking something from your table and coming back to you with a playful smile. “Jung Wooyoung, I’m going to kill you once this is over.” Seonghwa growled which Wooyoung found it even more fun to tease him. You were torn between whether to stop everything or listen to Wooyoung and just do whatever he told you to. But was stopping even an option anymore?

He came closer to Seonghwa and kissed his cheek before grabbing the hem of his shirt and starting to snip its way up to the collar. The shirt now split up and you're just sitting there staring at his bare torso. “I just bought this shirt, you idiot!”

“Aww, that’s so cute of you to actually go buy one just for this.” Wooyoung chuckled, clearly enjoying the fact that he’s in control of Seonghwa at the moment. This was like a one of a lifetime chance might as well make it worthwhile before it ends, Wooyoung thought.

Although you were the one on top of Seonghwa right now, it felt like you were third wheeling instead. Your mind went totally blank and at this point whatever instructions Wooyoung gave, you would follow it willingly like a lost child.

As he was about to say something, the bedroom door creaked open. “Guys, I’m back! I brought dinner too.” You and Wooyoung turned to the door where Mingi stood there grinning, unaware of the situation.

Once he did, the expression on his face changed. “What is going on here?” He tried to take in the sight of what his lovers were up to while he was away.

You were sitting on a struggling Seonghwa and Wooyoung who sat next to both of you with the most mischievous look ever. It was indeed a sight to see.

“We’re planning to have dessert first. You wanna join us, Mingi?” At Wooyoung’s words he shut the door and made his way towards all of you.

“Why not. So where should we start?”

[tsukkismoonlight]

Hi hi! Can i request a romantic matchup for Tokyo Revengers please? :D My pronouns are she/her, i identify as a girl, im virgo, 9w1 and pansexual but I prefer to be paired with male characters. I'm 18, I love spending time alone and creating scenarios in my head, but I also don't mind spending time outside and hanging out with my friends. I don't know how to describe my personality but I'll try smwsms- I think I'm a kind and funny person, at least is how the people close to me describe me. I'm very blunt with certain things and I try to be honest; I'm not good at comforting people but I'm always happy to listen to my friends problems, and i think to be a good listener. I'm quite impulsive and goofy smwmssx, not to mention how LAZY i am lmao. I also get bored easily and I'm always daydreaming. In my free time I play video games (rhythm games/random games) or i watch YouTube videos/twitch streams/tv series, and when I'm outside I like to go shopping for clothes.

-Random info: my favourite colours are red and purple, i love dressing in good outfits, i listen to pop/jpop music but im starting to like phonk as well, i hate crowded places and i can come off as shy.

Thank you very much, i hope this amount of information is enough. Have a good day! 💛

You had already read the letter a few times, wondering just where it had come from, and who it was from. Still searching for answers, you pick it up to read it once more…

Hello hello!!! Sorry about the wait, i meant to get this out sooner !! And i feel that on the day dreaming/ creating scenarios,,, i swear its the only thing that gets me through my day sometimes 😩

I think you'd pair nicely with…

chifuyu matsuno !!!

"What about this one?"

You turn to look at Chifuyu, and at the pumpkin in his hands, taking a moment to look at the shape of the thing, before shaking your head slowly, "it's lopsided!"

"You said that about the last three pumpkins!" He sighs, carefully placing the pumpkin down where he had gotten it from, "what even makes a pumpkin perfect or not?"

"Simple, not too tall, not too short, a good round size, a warm orange color, and a good stem," you smile at him, and then focus on a particular pumpkin just off in the short distance behind him.

"A pumpkin is a pumpkin…." He grumbles, toeing the ground with his shoe for a moment before noticing you had already set off to grab the one in your sights.

You had originally asked him to come with you just to help pick out a good few of the things, wanting to decorate your little apartment for the holiday. But the whole patch was more of an attraction than it let on.

Earlier, you had bought two cups of warm cider, one for yourself and one for Chifuyu. Before that, you had dragged him through a corn maze, which he ended up having to find the way out of, as you got yourselves lost more than once.

The more that you did together, the more fun Chifuyu was having than he thought he would. Of course, he had come when you asked, simply because he needed to get out of the house, but also because he was hoping that it would be…a little more than just two friends hanging out.

Not that he'd say anything about it, he might be a blunt and honest guy, but when it came to his mushy feelings, he wasn't sure if he would ever have the guts to tell anyone about it, especially you.

"Hey! Are you listening? I said I found one!" You were suddenly by his side, large grin on your face while holding your prize, "now you just need one and we can finally go home!"

"I thought we were picking ones for you?"

"Yeah well, i can't let you go home empty handed, now can I?" You pause, shuffling around your pumpkin so that you're carrying it with one arm, and then with your now free hand, you take his in yours and start to pull him along.

He could feel his face heat up, even just the innocence in taking his hand in yours, to drag him somewhere, made his heart do flips.

This continued until you found him the perfect pumpkin, though not as perfect as yours of course. And now that you both had your gourds, you finally let go of his hand, and pulled out your phone.

"Let's take a picture ! We have to have something to remember this day by!"

So, you sidled up close to him, still holding the pumpkin with one arm, and held out your phone, trying to get both your faces, and pumpkins in the frame. When you had taken a few pictures, satisfied with the outcomes, he noticed you set one as your lock screen, smiling at it with content.

And for now, that was all he needed of you. He could be happy with this day, knowing that he got to spend it with you, and only you.

Some things to add to your playlist if you don't already have them !!

Coffee Breath - Sofia Mills

Location - Khalid

Humility - Gorillaz ft George Benson

Look at the Sky - Porter Robinson

Thank you sm for sending something in for my event!! I really hope you enjoy it all!!! I know i really liked writing the drabble !! Have a wonderful day or night !!

[foryoumyheroes]

I love the Otaku todoroki and Bakugou hc's! Maybe part 2 where they meet the characters voice actor and they look EXACTLY like the character and the bois are like 😳😳😳 HAVE I BEGGED GOD ENOUGH FOR HIM TO TURN MY ANIME CRUSH REAL and maybe the voice actor asks them out on a date sksksk— lol love your writing! (you don't have to do this btw, just a suggestion! 💕)

My first thought was the webtoon True Beauty 😳😳 I don't know if you guys know it, but it’s a great story (and free to read online!) and the author is kinda infamous for looking exactly like her MC!! Though Iida’s VA, Kaito Ishikawa, 👀 👀 looks exactly like his character IMO!! 

A/N:

The headcanons in question are here, and since the character is already referred to as [Name], I’ll be referring to the voice actor as [V/A] only, but it’s still the reader 😊😊.

“Shitty Half-and-half.” 

“Bakugou,” Todoroki replied, turning fully to face his former classmate. Several years had passed since they both confronted each other over Todoroki’s [Name] acrylic charm, and even now, both Pro-Heroes deep into their careers, their love for the anime character never waned. 

The series had finished up during their last year at U.A., leaving both boys a mess while Aizawa could only wish that he was able to nurse his headache with half a bottle of ibuprofen. Todoroki mourned the fact that they were able to defeat the last arc’s antagonist at the cost of [Name]’s powers leading to their ultimate retirement and Bakugou raged from the ambiguous epilogue where [Name] was seen laying their head on the protagonist’s shoulder while looking out into the sunset.  

“Don’t play dumb with me, you damned trust fund kid,” Bakugou spat, pushing himself off the spot where he leaned against the wall and striding over to the taller male. He had filled out in the past several years, nothing but toned biceps and broad shoulders. “You’re thinking exactly what I’m thinking.” 

“What?” Todoroki asked innocently. His time with Uraraka had paid off, but the cutesy look would only let him get so far. Bakugou was eye-to-eye with his “eternal” rival. Todoroki had only gotten taller recently. Still slender and toned, he was nearly his father’s height and had already surpassed Natsuo. 

“Might Con.” Bakugou really had grown from the way he didn’t rage from Todoroki’s feigned ignorance. “You’re going to be there aren’t you?” 

Todoroki froze. 

The blond smirked at his expression. “I know for a damned fact that your manager scheduled your panel at the exact same time my panel is held —” 

“We’re hosting the panel together with Midoriya, Bakugou —” Todoroki tried to say.   

“At the exact same time as [Name]’s fucking seiyuu’s autograph session, huh?” 

At Bakugou’s words, both boys were at a standstill. 

Due to the popularity of the anime, the voice actors were going to have their schedules jam-packed the entire con with panels, interviews, and meet-and-greets, but due to scheduling conflicts, every voice actor was allowed only one autograph session at a time. Bakugou didn’t care about any of those other shitty extras. He only wanted to meet [Name]’s seiyuu. 

The voice actor was infamous for hiding their face during the anime’s run, only doing radio shows or paper interviews. They cited that since they were still a minor by the time the anime came out, they wanted to preserve their privacy, but now that they were of age, they were going to reveal their face at the con for the first time. 

But they couldn’t make it. Their entire Pro-Hero career was stabbing itself in the back. 

He held a hand out. 

“If one of us can’t see [Name]’s voice actor the other can’t.”

It was otaku solidarity.  

After a pause Todoroki reached out and shook it once. “Fine.” The two boys dropped their hands as fast as it came. 

Yeah. 

Not. 

Todoroki Shoto: 

Tries to go incognito, but he sucks at it. 

He’s wearing shades indoors to hide his heterochromia and his scar, a bucket hat to hide his half-and-half hair, and he’s wearing regular, but not so inconspicuous clothes. 

Once he gets to the front of the line, he nearly drops his gigantic load of [Name] merch. If it weren’t for the fact that he’s a Pro, he would’ve needed a wagon to carry the entire thing. 

His face immediately flushes. 

You’re wearing glasses and a large sweater while smiling and waving happily at the last fan that walked away. His mind is seeing every equation. You look exactly like the High School spin-off your mangaka made after the protagonist wished that everyone was able to live normal lives.   

He stutters out, “C-Cosplay...?” softly the moment he gets to your table. 

This dude is blushing so hard his face is as red as his hair. 

Were you a secret love child, perhaps? 

You brighten up and laugh. “Oh, wow — you have a lot of merch,” you laugh and he nearly swoons. “And oh, no! I just look like this normally.” 

He mentally thanks his mom for giving birth to him. 

You compliment him on his casual Idol!Shoto cosplay and he’s so embarrassed that he nearly lets go of the left side of his Quirk. 

“Yeah! You make such a handsome Shoto!” You use your [Name] voice to say, “I love you, Shoto-kun!” and he nearly dies right there. 

He uncharacteristically even puts his face into his hands ;; and just screams internally. 

You hold up your pen and look at him with such wide eyes and ;;; YOU’RE SO FUCKING CUTE!! 

None of the fanfictions have ever prepared him for this. 

[“So who should I put these out to?” 

He inhales once and quickly goes, “Todoroki, please. Written with the character for ‘a roaring fire.’ I have admired [Name] since their character introduction arc and felt a bond from [Name]’s tragic history and my own. I hated my father for the longest time and wanted to forage my own path similar to [Name] and they gave me strength —”] 

You fight to keep the largest grin off your face, but then the door busts open and in walks Ground Zero. The security are all scrambling to stop him, but he barrels through them like dominoes. 

[”HALF-AND-HALF!!” 

“Oh, Bakugou —” 

“I FUCKING KNEW THAT YOU WOULD BE HERE WHEN YOU DIDN’T SHOW UP TO YOUR OWN DAMNED PANEL!!” 

Bakugou takes him by the collar and his shades and hat falls and everyone’s immediately fangirl shrieking as Bakugou forcefully drags him away. 

“Wait, Bakugou — ! My dakimakura — !“ 

“Fuck that!”] 

After his panel, he’s smugly going through all of the merch you were able to autograph with Bakugou sulking in the corner because he managed to go and Bakugou didn’t and he nearly drops his figurine when he realizes what you wrote in the corner of the box. 

“You seem pretty cute, handsome stranger! ;) XXX-XXXX-XXXX” 

He discharges his Quirk and Bakugou could be heard shouting, “WHAT THE HELL, HALF-AND-HALF!” in the background. 

Bakugou Katsuki: 

He doesn’t even bother hiding the fact that he’s there. Everyone’s so stunned by the fact that the Ground Zero is just storming through the autograph session that the autograph line splits like the Red Sea and he goes right up to you. 

When he sees your face he just stops in his place and he does the face above for like five whole seconds. 

Did he die and go to heaven? 

WAS THAT NOT T H E [SURNAME] [NAME] SITTING IN FRONT OF HIM???

AND YOU LOOK SO SOFT!! Who gave you the motherfucking right to look so cute??? You look exactly like the panel in volume twenty-one, page 105 where [Name] were first seen wearing glasses. (Yes, ofc he remembers the exact page and volume. What was he, a fake fan?)

He didn’t have a thing for megane 😳😳😳 until [Name].

[“You...You fucking look exactly like [Name],” he manages to stutter out. 

You blink out of your stupor at the Ground Zero at your autograph session because your manager just elbows you at your side and you nod quickly like an idiot. 

“Y-Yeah!” You laugh nervously. “Hahaha, I guess that’s why they chose me to be the voice actor, you know because the voice matches the face — or-or is it the face matches the voice??” The two of you have matching red faces. “I-I even have a Quirk like their’s!” You hold up your hand and activate your Quirk slightly and he goes still.] 

H-His wifu/husbando... in the flesh... 

All those years of reading metas and watching analysis videos and calculating the compatibility of your Quirks are coming into fuCKING FRUITION!! 

And he just grabs your hand out of nowhere, running on pure instinct, wrapping his hand around yours in a vice grip like a claw game and the both of you freeze. 

”S-So what would you like me to sign??” you say quickly because he’s holding up the line, but everyone else is watching his go down like a soap opera. 

He asks you to sign the manga. The first volume, the volume where you’re introduced, and the last volume. 

[“They fucking did [Name] dirty in the series finale,” he says while you sign the manga for him. “They don’t belong with the pissy protagonist.” 

“Yeah?” you ask, looking up at him. You gesture for him to lean closer and he does while you whisper in his ear. “Between you and me I don’t ship them either.” You lean back in your chair. “I don’t think the mangaka developed their relationship enough for me to root for them. Personally, I think that that they should just settle down with someone who’s going to make them happy and protect them — “ 

“I can do that.” 

“What,” you blurt out. 

“What,” he replies.] 

He’s in such a daze that when Deku and Shoto barge into the autograph signing and drag him away he doesn’t even fight back. 

HE WANTED SENPAI TO NOTICE HIM BUT NOT LIKE THIS!! 

Even through his panel that he nearly missed btw he’s so confused. Equations are spinning around his head. 

When he finally has free time and looks at the manga you signed, it read, “Ground Zero, you’re my favorite Hero! Glad you liked the anime! Wanna talk about it some more? XXX-XXXX-XXXX” 

[soliceandstars]

RUN-AWAYS

No quirk! Au • slightly aged up characters •

———————————————————————

A/N : AHHH, I'm back! Sorry for the long wait between updates. Anyway, I apologize ahead of time for this being all over the damn place!

—————————————————————-///

"Hanta! Wait! Shouldn't we have—" Tenya was interrupted by the abrupt change in speed, eyes blown wide and screaming in surprise and just watching Hanta burst into bubbling laughter and giggles as they ran through the woods, hopping over fallen trees and listening to the soft thumps of his shoes against the ground.  The other boy had taken his off, tying them to his book bag so they were out of the way.

"Baby, please. Just stop for a moment." Tenya pleaded. His boyfriend came to a halt and had disconnected their hands. His back was still facing Tenya while he spoke.

"We should at least make plans to go home sometime. Your friends are probably worried by now." Tenya spoke with a tinge of concern in his voice, hoping Hanta would hear him out and teetering on the edge of nervous and confused. 

"So what. They didn't care before I left. They didn't care when I was pleading for at least one of them to talk to me because I didn't have anyone. The most I had were sparse game nights with Kaminari where he made fun of me for literally everything, I don't even care if they were jokes. They hurt. Then there's Bakugou. All he ever did was degrade me, and he always meant what he said. I don't even think he knew my real name." Hanta was shaking, fists balled up at his sides. His hair blew in the small breeze, pausing so he could catch his breath.

"Nothing I ever did mattered to them. Or my family. That's why I asked you that. We both have shitty families. I hated watching you cry because Tensei was their favorite and you were their dog. So I asked you to come with me. When I texted you and said "let's run away" I meant what I said, Tenya, but I'm not going to force you to go with me. If you don't wanna go, I'll walk you to the edge of the woods and then I'll leave. But if you wanna go, keep up." And he stormed off in the opposite direction as Tenya stood there in shock. A few seconds later he kicked his ass into gear when he heard Hanta break into a run.

Black hair and long limbs made their way through the trees, ignoring the screams of his boyfriend. Why couldn't Tenya just take him seriously. It hurt.

"Hanta, wait, please—" but Tenya lost his footing on a bank and tumbled down the hill, twisting his ankle and he was cut off with a yelp.

From a distance, Hanta froze. Tenya sounded like he had just gotten hurt and Hanta would be damned if he let his pride get in the way of Tenya's safety. 

His feet pounded against the forest floor, grass flying after every panicked thud and beat against the dirt. Somewhere along the line, he couldn't recall when, he'd started crying.

"Tenya!! Where are you?! Please, just yell something! Let me know you're okay!!" He was panicked now. Where was Tenya?! Why wasn't he answering?! Suddenly Hanta could see a hand come into view. His mind was racing as it laid out the worst possible options of what could have happened.

Hanta slid down the dirt bank,  stumbling as he got back up and ran. He found Tenya curled there, looking pained and quietly crying to himself as he lay with his knees up to his chest.

"TENYA!!" Came a yell.

Tenya looked toward the sound, seeing the figure of a tall boy, who he'd come to recognize as the boy he loves, come into view. Hanta knelt beside him, picking Tenya up off the ground and cradling him close to his chest in a hug. He was mumbling a whole bunch of apologies and over-exaggerated blame for himself.

Tenya hesitated before wrapping his arms around the other boy, telling him he was okay as Hanta pulled back to grab both his cheeks and hold his face in a worried and loving embrace. Hanta asked what had happened and Tenya explained that he'd twisted his ankle pretty bad on a hole that he hadn't seen while running.

"Can I see it? I wanna try something." Hanta asked, nervous for the others response but Tenya threw his leg over Hanta's, allowing him to do whatever he needed.

Hanta removed his boyfriends shoe and slightly slid his pants leg up as he worked on him, soft fingers massaging at the skin as he worked the pressure out of the megane's skin. It hurt but it was sufferable. Hanta genuinely felt horrible for throwing his little fit. They sat there like that for as long as Tenya could remember. And when they were done, Hanta grabbed Tenya's bag, heading back the direction they'd came until he reached out and placed his hand on the raven's shoulder.

"I thought we were running away?" He said, a smile spreading across his face as glassed eyes lit up and blue hair was ruffled by the breeze.

Hanta did the same, grabbing Tenya's hand and running again, the other boy keeping up this time, as they giggled their way through the woods, stopping at the edge of a meadow, only for Tenya to tackle Hanta into the wildflowers in a kiss.

A kiss that was slow and sultry, filled with excitement and adrenaline and returned with the force of millions, as Hanta smiled against Tenya's lips and giggled when the blue haired boy began to tickle him. Tenya was letting loose. He was letting go.

Hanta sat there with his legs crossed and his hands in his lap as he watched his boyfriend run around like a child, inevitably flopping down in the tall grass and wildflowers  so he could roll around and then crawl his way back to Hanta. He was laughing when he pulled himself up, sitting on his heels and taking both of Hanta's hands in his to bring to his lips in a kiss. The other giggled and allowed himself to be pulled into his lover's lap as they turned toward the clearing, mountains carving out the perfect spot for the sun to set.

Their cares faded as Hanta lay his head on Tenya's, feeling an arm wrap around his waist and caress his side under the golden hue of the summer sunset. They would go back in the morning, they both knew it, but for now?

For now they could have fun, and they could just pretend they were runaways.

[kiwikyuu]

━━━━━━━━ all the different shades of orange ; hinata shōyō

summary — whoever said that hinata shōyō is a ball of sunshine is a liar

word count — 3k

genre — imagine ; kinda enemies to lover, fluff

warning(s) — major spoilers about spring interhigh for those of you who haven't read the manga, insults thrown around, kinda out of character hinata, cursing, not edited

a/n — okay but have y'all seen e2l hinata shōyō besides kagehina lmao because i haven't and thought it'd be interesting to try out. also wow i have never put so much effort into a work like this one (hopefully it reaches a lot of people and you can all find some joy in reading!)

❝ WATCH WHERE YOU'RE FUCKING GOING NEXT TIME, YOU ROTTEN BELL PEPPER. ❞

Hate was a strong word but the flaring anger in your heart and overwhelming urge to run into a wall whenever your eyes landed on that tangerine said otherwise. It wasn't that you went out of your way to dislike someone that has everyone wrapped around their finger. It just so happened that you had no tolerance for bullshit, and Hinata Shōyō pissed you off in every way possible.

It started on the first day of high school.

Walking beside Minari, a friend from middle school, the two of you were eager to leave the building. The idea of grabbing steamed buns had unraveled itself in your mind, and what better way to enjoy food than by sharing?

"Are you going to try out for any clubs?" Your elbow bumped against hers as you two walked the slowly emptying hallway. "I think I saw the girls soccer team holding tryouts soon."

Minari shrugged, but you could already see the thoughts pinging in her mind. "I might if I can."

See, the two of you had almost reached the staircase when it happened. Minari's long hair covered her view from time to time, so you were used to looking out for her while chastising the girl about the usefulness of a hairband. But what you didn't expect as you pulled the girl aside just as a gaggle of guys rushed by was the full strength of a short orange-haired boy catching you off guard and nearly sending you tumbling down the flight of stairs.

"I'm sorry! I - I didn't see you there!" He shouted, his hand coming out to latch instinctively onto your school uniform before you could be thrown back far. "And on the first day too... I'm so sorry! Please accept my apology."

You stared at the short boy standing before you looking positively green with anxiety and guilt. Minari was already calming him down with mentions of accepting his apology, but all you could focus on was the pounding beat of your heart and the tingling feeling in your legs from your near-fatal experience.

"Watch where you're fucking going next time, you rotten bell pepper," you muttered before pushing his fingers off your now wrinkled white shirt.

You had walked away first, Minari in tow, but not before catching the shine of his name tag, 'Hinata Shōyō,' and the wide-eyed stare on his face that sent shivers down your back.

From that day forward, every flash of orange around the school seemed to be followed by a glare on your end and a roll of eyes on his.

"You're in the way, pumpkin head." Your words cut through the chattering hallway and sliced at Hinata who in turn threw you a pointed look, something that all the First Year students knew by now was reserved for only you. "I'm trying to get to the library, but somebody's walking too slow. Aren't you supposed to be on the volleyball team?"

Hinata scoffed, but stepped aside to let you through. Dirty looks were all he had in his armory apparently as time after time after sending an insult or two his way, he held his tongue. You liked to think it was because he didn't have the proper brain cells to form a response, but sometimes you wondered if you were being too much.

Up ahead, Minari waved at you to hurry before all the seats at the library were taken. Shaking yourself of your thoughts, you walked over to her. Unbeknownst to you, while you shouldered your bag, your wallet tipped over and fell out at a certain somebody's feet.

Hinata picked up your ratty wallet, noticing it on the floor, and went to call out to you before catching himself. What did he care? Still, unable to ignore it, he pocketed your belonging making note to give it back to you later. Right now, he had a game to worry about.

Somehow you had ended up at the Karasuno vs. Aoba Johsai game during the Interhigh Preliminaries. Minari had dragged you up to the stands as discreetly as possible after convincing you that she wasn't feeling up to study. Considering she had her eyes set on a certain 5'10 blueberry, you were foolish enough to think that she'd wanted to take you some place fun.

Now as the two of you stared down at the game happening eagerly, you let out a sigh upon noticing Hinata. As if your day couldn't have gotten worse after misplacing your wallet, you were displeased to find that he was looking right back up at you with the same wide-eyed stare he had when you two had first met.

Shivers ran down your back almost as if on cue, and you tore your gaze away from him fully ready to leave the gymnasium and trudge back home. But had you turned away, you would have missed the freakish oddball combination execute their quick attack.

"Holy shit," you breathed. "What the fuck was that?"

Minari smirked. "Tobio-kun is a great setter, isn't he? Or were you too focused on Mr. Bell Pepper to notice."

You shot her a frosty look, pushing down the stuttering emotion starting to rise in your chest that most definitely did not feel like anger. "As if."

The game continued for what seemed like days but turned out to be hours at most ending at a score of 1:2 in Aoba Johsai's favor.

Deafening silence overtook your ears. Minari was quick to leave the stands, mumbling something about consoling the fallen setter while your eyes searched for some semblance of sunshine in Hinata's sullen ones.

Spotting his sunken expression, you felt yourself regret the hatred that had sparked for him for just a moment. A fleeting moment that buried itself in your heart, planting a seedling of growing doubt.

"Minari, we have to catch the bus back!" You called out to your friend as you joined her on the gymnasium floor.

She glanced your way, halting the conversation she had began with her Tobio-kun. "Two minutes, and then we can go. Please?"

You nodded despite feeling discomfort crawling up your spine at being surrounded now by those you didn't know. You settled by the door, checking your phone mindlessly to pass the short time only looking up when an outstretched hand came into view.

"You dropped this earlier." Hinata's words were short, sharp, and you were suddenly glad you had never been on the end of his scathing remarks. "On your way to the library," he continued.

"Oh," was all your malfunctioning mind could come up with as he took your open hand in his, placing your wallet gently in your palm. The warmth of his skin seemed pressed into your own even after he had started to stalk away.

Clearing your throat, you spoke before you could stop yourself. "You did well today. I - uh," you paused. What were you even saying? "I watched from the stands."

He offered you a soft smile, one that you realized could light the world aflame, before walking back to his awaiting team.

You placed your hand over your drumming heart, sedating the flustered feeling he had left behind with you, chanting in your mind over and over again that Hinata Shōyō was a menace and you had no plan to ever like him let alone fall for him.

But no one ever plans to fall in love.

The Karasuno Boys Volleyball Club seemed to practice non-stop funnily enough, rather motivated by their loss from months ago instead of despaired. Minari had become a regular face during practice as she cheered the boys on in an attempt to woo Kageyama still, and by fault, so had you.

"Y/N, Tangerine's on his way over here." Minari nudged you, stealing your attention from the workbook open in your lap.

You shrugged, trying to focus on anything other than your slowly rising heartbeat. "Why? Did the coach bench him for his subpar plays?"

"No, actually Tangerine wanted to give you something but he's currently reconsidering."

You looked up immediately, eyes narrowing upon noticing Hinata standing in front of you with a small smirk. "You're looking really fucking smug for a guy who still needs to work on his skills. Kageyama says you lack basic technique."

Hinata rolled his eyes at you. "You're being rude."

"It's because I don't like you," you answered smoothly. "So get back to practice before you lose any more volleyball brain cells."

He let out a small laugh. Turning away, for a moment you thought he'd actually leave as simple as that, but just before he took another step, he tossed something your way. It fell on top of your workbook, smacking against the thin pages, causing a couple of the boys to look your way while Hinata jogged back to the net.

Minari leaned in closer to you. "He got you—" She cocked her head in confusion. "A wallet?"

It was a deep shade of orange that almost made you laugh out in irony. Detailed with card slots and a latch with snapping buttons, the wallet was definitely an improvement from the one you had right now.

"That's sweet... right?" Minari questioned, watching your expression as you opened the wallet to reveal a note — scratchy handwriting on a scrap of notebook paper.

'thought your wallet looked ratty old. not in a mean way of course!!!!

— your favorite, Pumpkin Head Shōyō

ps. my sister picked out the color :p'

"Stupid fucking carrot," you whispered under your breath, feeling your cheeks grow warm at his message. "I don't need a new wallet."

Minari scoffed at your words, turning to face you completely and taking your hands in hers with seriousness. "Be honest with me." You stared at her blankly. "Be honest, and tell me if you actually hate Hinata as much as you say you do. Why don't you just drop the act? You two obviously like each other enough to be friends, so why keep this all up? Isn't it tiring?"

Her words echoed through the hallways of your mind minutes, hours, and days after. Sitting at your desk in school, on your walk home, lying in bed staring up at the ceiling, they were as loud as life itself.

You thumbed the straps of your bag while waiting for the bus. The sun was slowly dropping from the sky, setting on the horizon leaving you in a thoughtful orange haze.

You two obviously like each other enough to be friends, so why keep this all up? Isn't it tiring?

The weeks following were conflicting and chaotic. Exam season settled on Karasuno High School jolting the students and staff into a cloud of stress.

You spent your spare time at the library, eyes boring into material that just wouldn't stick while a certain rotten bell pepper took his seat next to you.

"I have to pass my finals or Sugawara senpai is going to nail me to a wall," Hinata explained, spreading his notebooks out on the desk and bumping his elbow against yours in the process. "You do well in your classes, right? Do you — " He looked abash. "D - Do you mind helping me?"

Against your better judgement, you nodded. Looking back now, you suppose that's where your odd friendship began.

Days on end, the two of you would stay behind to cycle through the material slowly building a tolerance of each other much to everyone's surprise.

"Do you still hate me?" The question came one night, the weekend before his exams.

Hinata looked at you from where he sat on the swings, kicking his feet at the sandy grounds. The two of you were at the park, cooling off after a long study session.

Your eyes fell to the can of convenience store coffee in your hands. The slight of the passing breeze drilled his question further in your mind.

"No, I don't think so," came your answer, words wobbly and unsure despite the thrum of your heart beating loudly against your chest and the warmth in your cheeks.

Silence filled the space between you two before Hinata finally spoke up again.

"Then do you like me?"

Your body felt lit aflame, mind jumping immediately to the way he made you feel things you hadn't much before. "As a friend," you decided after a moment of flustered emotions. "We're friends, I guess."

Hinata nodded thoughtfully. "Well, I like you." He took a deep breath. "As more than a friend, but if you feel that way then I'll wait for you. We have time."

His confession became lost among the flurry of thoughts and colliding emotions raging on inside you. Before you could say anything in response, Hinata got to his feet, shooting you that now familiar smile of his and offering you his hand.

The new year overwhelmed your senses like a storm of rain after a drought. Refreshed after the break, you returned to school with a new sense of purpose amplified by the motivation the new year always brings.

Hinata's confession had remained in your mind, pushed to the back by celebration but still bugging you every so often. The apricot haired boy had showed up, throwing ping pong balls (of all things) at your window to catch your attention over the break asking if you wanted to go grab something sweet with him. You promptly responded with a rejection, only to find yourself walking with him ten minutes later.

"How was your break?" Minari asked, bundled in a jacket, scarf, and hat. She joined you at your side, catching you on your walk from the bus stop to school.

You shrugged, pulling your puffy jacket closer to you. "It was okay. You?"

She smiled. "Hung out with Tobio-kun. We went for hot chocolate, and he taught me how to set." Her eyes seemed almost dazzling at the memory, and you laughed, pushing her lightly away.

"You and your Tobio-kun are positively gross," you said. "Absolutely—"

Your words were halted at the feeling of warm fabric settling around your neck and a known face popping up beside you with a proud smile.

"Stay warm. You can give it back to me later," Hinata said before jogging away to catch up with a pair of Second Year boys ahead.

Your hand came up to the green scarf around your neck, failing to form comprehensive sentences. Heart thundering, you ignored the funny looks others sent your way. Glancing at Minari, you caught her slipping giggles.

"What happened to Hinata Shōyō being a rotten bell pepper?"

"Shut up."

Lending you his scarf when days seemed too cold was just the beginning of it all. Days turned into weeks turned into months of Hinata pining after you and you—though obvious to everyone else—trying to decipher your feelings for him.

"Hey, I missed you," Hinata said to you lightly after you had agreed to drop something off for Kageyama on Minari's behalf. Quickly realizing the meaning of his words, however, Hinata corrected himself. "I mean—um, as in I m - missed you earlier. Like... like I didn't catch you today, you know?"

You tilted your head at him with endearment, a small smile playing across your lips at the sight of his blushing face. "Yeah, don't worry. I got it, sweet potato."

His flustered expression dropped. "You think I'm sweet?"

Your eyes widened, stuttering to form a response and correct yourself out of this situation you had suddenly been thrusted in. Luckily, Kageyama came to your rescue before you could embarrass yourself.

"Hinata, boke, stop flirting with Y/N!" The tall blueberry haired boy towered over Hinata with a menacing glare and a scoff. Kageyama turned to you with a blank look you took for an apologetic expression.

Shaking your head profusely, you put your hands up in surrender. "Ah, no worries, Kageyama. I—uh, I have something for you from Minari. She has classroom duties today, so she couldn't come herself."

Kageyama nodded, taking the wrapped bento box that Minari had prepared for him from your outstretched hands. He mumbled words of thanks before stalking off while muttering under his breath a colorful range of insults at Hinata who in turn sent him a funny face.

The Spring Interhigh was coming up, and you were sure the Karasuno Boys Volleyball Club was itching for redemption after what had happened last August. Deciding that you didn't want to interrupt their practice any further, you made move to leave only to stop at the feeling of a hand on your wrist.

Glancing back, you raised an eyebrow in surprise at Hinata's sudden action. "What are you—"

The tangerine boy had exchanged his lighthearted expression of just minutes ago with a look that you could only describe as properly motivated. "When we make it to Nationals, promise to give me a chance."

All around you, the gym seemed to fade until only Hinata was in your line of vision.

When we make it to Nationals, he had said, not if.

Unable to respond, you found yourself nodding because who were you to kid yourself at this point?

The Karasuno Boys Volleyball Club did, in fact, make it to Nationals, but unfortunately lost to Kamomedai High School in the quarter-final round while Hinata spent his time at the hospital.

Hooked up to an IV line and dressed in one of those flimsy hospital gowns, Hinata looked unusually weak laying down on the bed. The others had left not long after you had arrived though some took more convincing than others.

"Next time, you can keep your scarf to yourself," you said, cutting the silence short with a lighthearted remark.

Hinata smiled weakly at that, his hand coming to rest atop your folded ones on your lap. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

You shook your head. "Obviously, you can't take care of yourself." Slipping your hands from under his, you took the hand warmers out of your pockets and placed one in each of his hands. "Luckily, you got me."

His face lit up. "Oh, do I now?"

Warmth spread through your body as you looked away from his hopeful gaze. "Well, you did make it to Nationals."