#I had too much fun with this. not sorry

[void-botanist]

It Blursday!! 🖤💜

WE’RE TAKING THE SQUADDIES TO EISENGARD!

You don’t have to fill all the roles, and they don’t all have to be from the same WIP, but who’s:

the Ring-bearer, entrusted with carrying the One Ring (bonus: funniest instance they use it to nope right out of reality)

the “Sam”, armed with a frying pan and a wizard of potatoes

Sean Bean, who dies in every movie — falls victim to their own hubris

totally crushing on Arwen and has a really cool sword

AND MY AXE

AND MY GLOCK BOW

Merry and Pippin the “package deal”, very concerned about missing second breakfast

the dude with a sick staff and a concerning amount of explosives, may or may not be an actual wizard

— @outpost51

you: You don’t have to fill all the roles, and they don’t all have to be from the same WIP me: personally, I think that is a lie. So I'm sending the AOM crew, which consists of:

Leon & Edith: human & bovan couple somewhere in their 60s or 70s (I haven't adjusted the Old Canon timeline back from when they were hundreds of years old. Either way Leon's hair is completely white). Adorable and weird about each other.

Horatio: L&E's adopted human son, Celia's adoptive brother. Also the florist Declan visits.

Celia: L&E's adopted ferasca daughter. Fat, purple, and down to clown.

Allison: Celia's shifter boyfriend. Six feet tall, hairy as heck, and pretty sure he should have stayed home today.

Sid: Horatio's human best friend. Traumatized (TM) but with a rainbow half-shave.

Sorian: Horatio's biological dad. Skilled magicarpenter and the one who brings snacks but otherwise kind of a sad sack.

Avis: Sid's weird aunt figure and Sorian's estranged wife (bet you can't guess why they're estranged). Abrasive, prickly, and competent.

Which brings us to:

the Ring-bearer: Horatio. Like, no one even argues about this. He is both difficult to corrupt and imbued with a universal sense of duty none of these other chucklefucks could manage. I feel like the Ring trying to tempt him would be like "just give it to someone else. Then you can go home and check on your plants. They're not dead but like what if they're dead you know what I'm saying?" (He left his friend Marcus in charge of the shop. Marcus is a pigment magician and knows how to manage plants but like. what would be worse, not dealing with this ring or his single Pergannom koertens dying?)

the "Sam": this fell into place too easily, lol, because it's definitely Sid, who is canonically a really good cook. And I know the question isn't actually saying that he's armed with a wizard of potatoes but if he was that would be sous chef Sorian.

Sean Bean: probably Celia, though she's not allowed to die. She really thought she was going to be a shoo-in to this combat thing because so many of the people she knows are 40% squishier than her by virtue of not being literal dragons. She also thought there was going to be a good opportunity to use her real weapon, seduction of the enemy. So far she's 0/2.

totally crushing on Arwen and has a really cool sword: Leon. The sword has a name like Dick Turpin too and I'm pretty sure in canon it hangs above his mantlepiece. Edith thinks it's funny that he's so enamored with Arwen. Avis can't help pointing out that "she must be almost your age" [cue Celia snorting in the background].

Axe: Edith. She has a real Millie (Helluva Boss) streak about her and honestly? She loves doing the battle couple thing as long as she doesn't have to gore people with her horns.

Bow: Sorian. In canon I'm not sure he's ever shot a bow in his life (though Edith also doesn't own an axe). But this man has waited thirteen years just to find out if his wife still hates him. He's a fuckin sharpshooter.

the “package deal”: like I said, Allison should have stayed home today. But Celia is going, and he doesn't want her to go to Isengard without him, even though he REALLY doesn't want to go to Isengard. (He also knows deep down that if he let himself lose control a little in his wolf form, he would be a force to be reckoned with.) There are a lot of other potential package deals, not least Horatio and Sid, who are probably more Merry & Pippin-ish, but my favorite runners up are Avis and Sorian, who will not admit under any circumstances that they even could potentially be a package deal, but they totally are.

the dude with a sick staff and a concerning amount of explosives, may or may not be an actual wizard: Avis. Honestly, in canon, she may or may not be an actual witch. She is known to coolly disappear at random times and then turn up later with the most ridiculous magic bombs you've ever seen. Leon is constantly almost touching her staff and she is constantly almost giving him a concussion with it. She also has protested too much that she's here because of the fate of the world or because Sid asked her to and no other reasons.

[keymintt]

a comic/zine about coyotes

[chloesimaginationthings]

This could be a kart if FLAF wasn't fucking around..

[thirdtimed]

beautiful grianful world.. links to all the artists' profiles under the cut :D

linktoo-doodles

jellitchi

avo0930

alienssstufff

cherrifire

grianhate

luniise

tibbycaps

skimmeh

pippeinnit

i linked everyones tumblrs if they had one, otherwise it leads to twitter!

[turtleblogatlast]

Leo learns something about himself 🏳️‍⚧️

Based roughly on this old post.

Bonus:

[Leo is taking the fact that he was born biologically female simultaneously very well and also not so well but overall he’s mostly coping with the fact that it was Draxum that just essentially gave him the turtle equivalent of ‘The Talk’.]

[muchanmocha]

Original template

[pancakemolybdenum]

2015 called, it wants its cloudball back. redrawing things yet again.....

original here

dress design by @rumminov

[zhukzucraft]

=> Martyn: Help a fella out

-

-

The Creeper is busy bothering the newbie so you get a free crit on it easily enough. A well-timed second hit takes care of the problem before it can get out of hand.

You win! You receive

5 experience

0 gunpowder

=====>

Start Over -- Go Back

[kizzer55555]

DP x DC: The Most Dangerous Card Game

Ok so Danny has essentially claimed earth as his. And he is fully aware that there are constant threats to the planet. Now he can’t stop a threat that originates on earth (that’s something he’ll leave to the Justice league) but he can do something about outside threats. Doing some research on ancient spells, rituals, and artifacts, he cast a world wide barrier on the planet to protect it from hostile threats so they cannot enter. This will prevent another Pariah Dark incident. However, barriers like this come at a price. You see, there are two ways to make a barrier. Either make one powered up by your own energy and power (which would be constantly draining) or set up a barrier with rules. The way magic works is that nothing can be absolutely indestructible. It must have a weakness. The most powerful barriers weren’t the ones reinforced with layer after layer of protective charms and buffed up with power. Those could eventually be destroyed either by being overpowered, wearing them down, or by cutting off the original power source. No, the most powerful barriers were the ones with a deliberate weakness. A barrier indestructible except for one spot. A cage that can only be opened from the outside. Or that can only be passed with a key or by solving a riddle. So Danny chooses this type of barrier and does the necessary ritual and pours in enough power to make it. And he adds his condition for anyone to enter. 

Now the Justice league? Find out about the barrier when Trigon attempts to attack, they were preparing after he threatened what he would do once he got to earth. How he would destroy them. The Justice league tried to take the fight to him first but were utterly destroyed, so they retreated home to tend to their injuries, and fortify earth for one. Last. Stand. Only when Trigon makes his big entrance…he’s stopped.

The Justice league watch in awe as this thin see-through barrier with beautiful green swirls and speckled white lights like stars apears blocking Trigon and his army’s advance. The barrier looks so thin and fragile yet no matter how hard the warlord hits, none of his attacks can get through and neither can he damage said barrier. That’s when Constantine and Zatanna recognizes what this barrier is. Something only a powerful entity could create. For a moment, the league is filled with hope that Trigon can’t get through yet Constantine also explains that it’s not impenetrable. And clearly Trigon knows this too for he calls out a challenge. 

And that’s when, in a flash of light, a tiny glowing teenager appears. He looked absolutly minuscule compared to Trigon and yet practically glowed with power (this isn’t a King Danny AU though).

And that is when the conditions for passing the barrier are revealed. And the Justice realize that the only thing stopping Trigon and his army from decimating earth. The only way he can get through….is by beating this glowing teenager in a card game. 

Not just any card game though. The most convoluted game Sam, Danny, and Tucker invented themselves. It’s like the infinite realms version of magic the gathering, combined with Pokémon, and chess. And Danny is the master. So sit down Trigon and let’s play.

(The most intense card game of the Justice league’s life).

After Danny wins, this happens a few more times with outer word beings and possibly even demons attempting to invade earth, yet none have been able to beat the mysterious teenager in a card game. Constantine might even take a crack at it and try to figure out how to play. He’s really bad though. Every time this happens, the Justice league worry that this might be the time the teenager looses. Yet every time, he wins (even if only barely). 

Meanwhile, Danny, Sam, and Tucker have gotten addicted to the game and play it almost daily. Some teachers might seem them playing the game are are like ‘awww how cute’ not realizing this game is literally saving the world. Jazz is just happy they aren’t spending as much time on their screens playing Doomed.

[dizzybizz]

"this is regrettably the best kiss of your life, you understand?"

[puppyeared]

littlest furth shop

@laikascomet

[bashzzey]

oh yeah i've gone webfishing 💖

[basslinegrave]

random monarch trio stuff (and 24 is also there yeah)

[chococrystal]

new master of wind !!!!!! I am morally, spiritually and financially obligated to make fanart of Euphrasia and Morro now sorry

[sugarcoatednightshade]

thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.

And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.

And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.

And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?

Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.

Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]