#I HAD WAY TOO MUCH FUN drawing the Michael mobile here

[chloesimaginationthings]

This could be a kart if FLAF wasn't fucking around..

[jae-writes-fanfiction]

Caviar and Cigarettes

Ashton x Reader  -  Collab Masterlist - 3763 Words - Part 1 of 1

Notes: this was written as part of a collab event as a gift for @mermaidcashton using a mix of their different suggested tropes but specifically ‘waking up in vegas.’ I hope you enjoy it ❤️ also I’ve never been to a casino I’m sorry this is 100% based off of what I know from TV

Warnings: mentions of alcohol/alcohol consumption, people are on a plane which could be scary, light nsfw content, some swearing.

- - -

The overhead compartments creaked as the plane rushed down the runway headed for liftoff. The sensation always sent a shiver down your spine and caused knots to grow in your stomach.

You hated flying and had everyone been back in LA instead of visiting the UK on a press tour, you would’ve opted to drive to Las Vegas from home and meet the boys there. Unfortunately for you, being their one-person PR/Social Media Management team placed you behind the scenes for the entire junket. And now, it placed you in the window seat of a plane preparing to hurtle dangerously through the sky- although your friendship with the bride-to-be was partly at fault.

Next to you, Ashton rolled his eyes as you gripped the armrest tightly. Across the aisle he watched Michael and Crystal giggle at something, and just ahead of them he could see Callum and Luke watching a movie on one of their phones.

He loved his friends and was beyond happy for Michael and Crystal but each of their small smiles and soft looks felt stifling and Ashton found himself wishing things could just be like when they were younger. Everything felt easier then, it was much more fun going on trips, there was less pressure to do or say the right thing or post the right statuses. They were just four friends making music. Now, everything was different including you.

You silenced your phone and offered Ashton a consolatory smile. “I know you’d rather be across the aisle,” you said glancing over at the others, “but let’s try to be friendly it’s a long flight.” There was a slight edge to your tone and it didn’t go unnoticed.

“You’re right dollface,” Ashton bit back, “I’d much rather be seated with my friends. Not our social media manager.”

You felt a warmth spread across your face as you tried to think of a smart response. Ashton has always been the most aloof of the four when you joined the behind the scenes team yet every conversation with him turned sour.

When you didn’t respond Ashton decided to keep going. “I mean I offense but how the hell are any of us supposed to relax when you’re here hovering around? This is supposed to be a party! A vacation! But you make it look like work.”

“That’s right Ash,” you said icily, “because I am working. I have to make sure none of you do anything stupid while you’re ‘having fun and letting loose’.”

And there you go, Ashton thought, like always making everything else difficult. Why couldn’t you just be agreeable?

“Besides,” you said interrupting his thoughts, “the last thing the group needs is more dating drama. Your last stint did enough damage.”

There. You said it, after weeks of thinking it you actually said it. You didn’t blame him for how the breakup went and for a while you were proud at how little attention Ashton gave to the fan speculation. But then he deleted all their pictures together and made a few (now long deleted) vague tweets that sent the fan base into a deadly spiral that spewed death threats at his ex and caused you more than enough sleepless nights.

You felt a little guilty when he didn’t respond with another jape- but who did he think he was anyway? Sure he was attractive but he couldn’t get away with everything. Not this time. Not after you had to stage and arrange posts for him every time he swapped partners.

You huffed and slipped your headphones in. There was no hope for pleasant conversation, and you had no desire to fill the time with mobile games. The audiobook claimed to calm and soothe the overworked professional with meditation and organization tips. Compared to the $350 plane fare the $25 download seemed like a reasonable and informative way to fill the ten-hour flight.

By the halfway mark you’d been proven wrong on both accounts. The narrator’s lilting accent was distracting in all the wrong ways, and the information sounded like every motivational speaker ever; all hype and no substance. Twice you felt your eyes drifting closed and twice you managed to snap yourself out of it. The third time however you didn’t snap back awake as your head lolled to the side.

The brush of your hair against his shoulder alerted Ashton to the situation. He chuckled lightly under his breath, for a moment you were at peace. For a moment you were someone he didn’t know, someone he might’ve liked to know better.

But moments don’t last forever, Ashton knew this to be true and before long the light jostling of the plane woke you up. You blinked slowly trying to adjust to the lights and grimaced as Ashton came into focus. The intensity of his gaze puzzled you. Was there something on your face? The expression was unconscious, but Ashton saw it flicker across your face and that stung. Not even away more than a minute and you were already getting to him.

Uninterested in having another quiet row like a soon-to-be-divorced couple, he quickly looked away leaving you once again to choose between silence and the droning audiobook as the plane crossed the Atlantic and then the entirety of the North American continent.

The sun had already set when the descent started. Outside you could see the world swathed in swatches of brilliant color and dazzling shapes against the horizon. It felt like your heart skipped a beat. The Vegas strip was everything you’d expected. The hotel itself looked like a work of abstract art, it’s glass elevators sparkling under the desert sunset.

Late dinner reservations had been made for the five of them, and you took the opportunity to settle into your room, eat an entire room service pizza, and take a nap. They would be out on the hotel’s casino floor for the rest of the night and you were more than happy to join them.

By the time you put yourself together and got there, the house was in full swing. The music was loud, the people louder. You noticed Ashton first at a roulette table surrounded by other beautiful people. You turned to walk away and look for Crystal when he noticed you.

You smiled thinly and made your way over to him, you had to. Anything else would’ve been seen as rude and that was a problem you didn’t want to deal with.

You lightly touched his shoulder to let him know you were there and glanced over the table. He hasn’t lost anything but wasn’t winning either. Ashton froze at your touch, the innocuous gesture sent a shock through his body, and at that moment something changed.

The dealer called for bets to be placed for the new round as you settled in next to Ashton. The dark jacket paired well with the retro red shirt he wore and you had trouble looking away.

“You look-“ Ashton started but couldn’t finish the sentence, his wide eyes glanced over your body for one of the first times seeing it outside of business wear. The metallic accents caught in the low light and cast an ethereal glow over you that kept drawing his focus.

You flushed, “thanks...you do too.” The sentiment felt heavy despite the normalcy of the exchange and you quickly accepted a glass of something from a roaming waiter to loosen your tongue.

You glanced back over the table and turned to Ashton with a conspiratorial grin. You leaned in to whisper and Ashton felt your hot breath on his neck.

“Always bet on black,” you offered while biting your lip as he laughed lightly. Everyone said that everyone knew that was a rookie move. But for the moment it seemed like the best advice and you were shocked when he did it.

Not as shocked as you were when he won.

Ashton turned and looked at you, amazed.

“Ash that was so lucky!” You gushed openly and your genuine smile pulled at his heart.

“Maybe it’s just you,” he said softly, the honest edge to his voice surprising you. You laughed awkwardly trying to play off the sentimentality of the words but they kept playing over in your mind.

“I think the happy couple ran away for a little bit,” he offered quickly moving on, “but I think we ought to go celebrate.”

You nodded, “well since I did help you win, I suppose you could buy me a drink.”

Ashton grinned back and quickly gathered his winnings before wrapping an arm around your waist and leading you towards the lounge. You could smell his cologne as you walked and you weren’t sure if it was that or his hand on your hip that kept distracting you from whatever he was saying.

The hazy lounge atmosphere was almost as intoxicating as the cocktails that Ashton kept ordering for the two of you. The liquor burned in all the best ways and a soft sweet taste lingered on your lips. You felt warm and giddy, and surprisingly happy to have been spending this time with Ashton.

At some point, his arm wrapped around your shoulders and you laughed at one of his jokes. Had he been sober the sound might’ve broken his heart, like most secret things do if they’ve been dreamed about before.

You turned to say something but stopped with the words dead on arrival. Ashton was closer than you had realized while talking, your faces just inches apart. The red hue of the lights flashed across his features and seemed to show how truly beautiful he was.

For a moment the closeness lingered, and you could feel a tense stiffness in the arm around you, and electricity where his hand curled around your bare shoulder. Unconsciously you felt your face tilt up towards his, and Ashton felt the same desire to close the gap.

What am I doing, you thought trying to blink out of it, I technically work for him I can’t kiss him! Besides he doesn’t even tolerate me normally.

Ashton froze, unable to tear himself away from you, the soft tint of the lights exaggerated the shadows on your face and kept drawing his eyes back to your lips. His hand on your shoulder itched to run up to tangle in the hair at the back of your neck and pull you against him.

She doesn’t even want to be here, he thought suddenly, why the hell would she want to kiss me on top of that?

But somewhere in the back of his mind Ashton knew you were struggling over something similar. He knew you were at least tempted, otherwise you would’ve moved.

A scantily clad cocktail waitress interrupted the moment and sent you both back to looking away. Your stomach felt uneasy from the tension and you drank quietly for a while contemplating your next move. You needed to say something funny, something light to keep this good energy going.

“Look at the bartender,” you said, “can you imagine him working anywhere else?” Your joke was directed at a thin sort of person who without a doubt had the Vegas aesthetic down to a T.

Ashton felt his heart drop, couldn’t you say something nice? Did you always have to be so critical of everyone?

“That’s typical,” he mumbled into his drunk.

“What do you mean it’s typical?”

“You, princess. Always having some shallow thing to say,” he took a long drink draining the glass before turning back to your shocked face.

This had been a bad idea, you knew he had some problem with you but it had been enough.

Refusing to cause a scene on the crowded floor you swiftly stood. “It was just a joke,” you hissed through a clenched jaw before walking towards the lobby and elevators that would whisk you back to the safety of your room.

“Hey come back!” Ashton tossed money into the table and quickly darted after you, slipping into the elevator at the last second.

“We were having a good time,” he said defensively, “stop being such a spoilsport.”

“A good time? Sure, it’s all fun and games for you. Didn’t you ever stop to think that maybe something is majorly wrong when you can’t go twenty minutes without insulting me?”

“It wasn’t an insult it was a comment.”

You laughed openly, “oh that’s rich Ash. A comment.”

The doors slid open on your floor and you quickly turned heel and left. You heard his footfalls behind you and it took everything in you to resist slamming your door before he could enter the room. You angrily kicked your shoes off sending them in varying directions that you didn’t care to fix.

Ashton felt his palms get sweaty and his mouth dry. He didn’t want to keep watching you walk away anymore. “Can’t we just talk about this like friends?”

“Friends?” You felt your heart get all twisty at the words, “we’ve never been friends Ashton.”

When he didn’t respond you continued, crossing your arms in front of your chest as if the pressure would keep you still and safe.

“I used to think we could’ve been. When we first met I thought: now there’s the one- attractive and smart and mature. But all you’ve ever done is play games, spew pretensions, and hate me.”

“I don’t hate you,” he said lamely taking a step closer to you.

“You don’t hate me? Oh that’s right you just hate the way I dress, and joke, and talk...” You met his gaze with a challenge and in another first of the night, he accepted.

Ashton looked at you with a fondness he had never expressed out loud and a gentleness that’s translated in how he took your hand in his and pulled you against him.

“I don’t hate you at all,” he said softly cupping your cheek with his other hand, “I hate that when you’re here you’re always working, I hate that you can’t ever just be with us, I hate that I miss you when you don’t answer a text, and I absolutely loathe that when you do it’s because you have to talk to me.” Because I want to talk to you, he thought unable to form the words in the mouth.

You suddenly felt very small pressed against him and you knew he could see the heat rising in your face.

“Professional was just easier,” you whispered unable to look him in the eyes, “because I don’t hate you either. For a long time I hated having to orchestrate and present people with you-“ because they weren’t me, you thought unable to say the words out loud.

His thumb softly traced the slant of your cheekbones as you hesitantly looked back into his eyes, and unlike in the lounge you did resist the urge to close the space between you, and neither did he.

The kiss was soft and filled with the emotion of everything not said, like all first kisses should be.

“I don’t hate you at all,” he whispered whilst placing kisses to the sides of your face, “not even a little bit, not even at all.” As your lips let a second time you both felt how surely the sentiment was quite the opposite and had been for quite some time.

Ashton was the only thought in your mind, and the only word on your lips as the kisses grew sloppier and needy. He tasted like cherry syrup from the cocktails and you wanted more.

A little disoriented from the alcohol you haphazardly walked backward pulling Ashton with you until you felt the edge of the mattress press against your calves. In a fit of giggles, you both tumbled back onto the bed.

You had never seen him smile like this before, his whole face seemed brighter and you knew instantly he was thinking the same things too. You moved in a flurry of hands and touches that struggled through the haze to remove clothes.

You straddled him to slide the jacket from his shoulders and fumbled with the buttons on his shirt until that too was discarded. Your hands trembled as they skated across his chest, and you felt him shiver as they were replaced with your lips. You slid down his body leading trails of kisses that stopped just above his belt buckle. The way it caught the light sent a delicious shiver down your spine and you tucked that thought away for another time.

Deftly you slipped the belt off before working on the slacks. You slowed and groaned softly upon revealing a dark red pair of lace pants under his trousers.

“Sweetheart,” you cooed teasingly as you repositioned yourself between his legs, “you should’ve led with this.” His hoarse laugh stifled into moans as you traced the lace with your tongue. Your eye wandered to the glittering bottle of champagne on the nightstand and between it and the heady look on Ashton’s face, you knew it was going to be a good night.

The next morning which really ended up being the next afternoon- you were pleased to wake up curled and tangled around a very naked Ashton. The pounding headache and dry mouth were a direct contrast.

You were thankful the curtains were still closed as the moderate darkness seemed to help the monster out hangover you were now feeling. You shifted slightly and were surprised to notice you weren’t entirely naked. You were wearing a t-shirt you didn’t remember owning. The words looked like gibberish but you gathered it was from the hotel’s gift shop.

The discovery prompted you to look around the room and you noticed something. Ashton’s fancy clothes and delightful red panties were joined by a pair of his jeans, another shirt, and an extra pair of your bottoms as well.

There were papers strewn on the nightstand and a shopping bag near the door that you didn’t remember buying. The cool air stung your bare legs and prompted you to curl back into Ashton who lazily smiled and kissed your temple as you rejoined him.

“G’morning darlin’,” he said through a yawn making you giggle.

“Do you remember going back out last night?”

Ashton shook his head but before he could say anything his ringtone cut through the silence and roused a chorus of pained groans from both of you.

He scrambled to answer it and you noticed the empty bottle of champagne on the other side of the bed, and what looked like a sacked minibar’s worth of trash with it.

I am never drinking again, you thought as the ringing subsided and your head began to throb.

“Michael wants us for brunch,” Ashton said tossing his phone back to the cluttered nightstand. You groaned at the thought of food and hoped it would be greasy enough to cut through the drunk brain fog.

You had to swing by Ashton’s room for him to get dressed making it a little later than anticipated when you finally got to the lobby. Crystal and Michael were sharing a love seat and as you both exited the elevator they erupted into raucous laughter and cheers that reverberated pain through your head.

“Aw fuck,” you hissed rubbing a hand on your temple. Ashton had an arm around your waist which kept yours from stumbling.

“Oh come on I expected a little more life after last night,” Michael called with a grin.

“I didn’t think Mikey was serious,” Crystal said, “do you have the papers on you?”

On top of them, Luke chimed in, “I got the whole crying jag on video it’ll make a hell of an update when we get back.”

You and Ashton shared a confused look and silently looked to Callum for help. He was drinking a delightful looking mimosa and sighed putting it down.

“I don’t think they remember,” he started before getting cut off.

“Awe no way! Look at them, they’re the picture of romantic bliss,” Michael taunted with a laugh.

You sighed, “come on now guys I know it’s a little odd for us to hook up but enough with the jokes.”

“Hook up?” Luke laughed, “that’s not what Elvis would have to say about it.”

You were trying not to get frustrated but it was hard. “Luke, what in the hell does Elvis have to do with anything?”

Callum cut in before the others could keep hounding you.

“Promise me you won’t freak out?”

You nodded and felt Ashton do the same.

“Alright,” Callum started slowly leaving time to gauge reactions as he spoke, “Luke and I got a call last night around 4:30, one of you were crying about how you ruined mike’s moment when you were too out of it to explain we came down here to meet you...”

As he spoke flashes of memories seemed to play in your mind. You almost remembered dialing the phone inside who to talk to, but certain you didn’t want to upset anyone.

“Apparently you’d just come in from one of those 24-hour chapels and we’re worried Mike and Crystal would be upset you stole the show.”

“Why would we go to a church?” Ashton asked slowly. Neither you nor Ashton were specifically interested in that sort of thing. Yet as he asked it you remembered stumbling through the lobby looking for something new to wear.

Your mind reeled trying to fit together pieces that you weren’t sure went to the same puzzle. You ran a hand through your hair a small ring on your hand catching in the light. You recognized it immediately as Ashton’s. Something borrowed, you thought unsure of why that mattered.

Callum shook his head as Michael dissolved into a fit of laughter.

“You dumbasses, you got married!”

You and Ashton quickly looked at each other and then back at the others and then back at each other trying to process this whirlwind of information.

The moment lingered longer than Michael found funny and without much else said you were whisked by the other happy couple off for brunch and out into a world where nothing would ever be the same.

[phantom-vex]

time crapsules thoughts (spoilers for camp camp season 4 finale!)

Sorry for not putting this under a read more :( I’m on mobile

Nikki’s enthusiastic ‘they’re empty!’ has me giggling already. There have been some great Nikki moments this season.

I mean, it’d be pretty easy to assume that time capsules make you travel through time. Something about the word ‘capsule’ sounds really sci-fi.

David made a time capsule didn’t he.

“I’m sure your past self would be thrilled to hear you ended up as a camp counsellor!” “He would be!”

The Davey voice never fails to make me smile, it’s so silly sounding!

Also why is the drawing falling off a skateboard.

“I am deeply upset that I didn’t see that coming.”

“I kept a diary, like an adult.” A lot of Gwen’s personality screams ‘had to grow up too fast’ and this just adds to that feeling. Maybe she thought she couldn’t make a time capsule cause they were childish, so made a diary instead.

Max’s impression of young Gwen is kinda funny. I feel bad for laughing since he’s clearly mocking her, but still.

A money factory/horse sanctuary sounds like a great business idea. Campbell should get on that. (This isn’t me shipping Gwen and Campbell, hell no.)

Oh no honey :((

In the livestream, the crew kept repeating ‘archery’ over and over again during the list section.

“Since that waiter mistook her hair for a hat!” It was literally this season when I realised it wasn’t a hat! Also,,, waiter? When did they go to a restaurant...? Gwenvid shippers, here’s your fuel.

“I hope you’re proud of yourself.” “I’m not.” WE STAN CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.

Max being confused at feeling guilt is weirdly sad.

“You’re becoming kinder, and David hires a criminal to-“ David just yeeted himself from that situation!

He’s legitimately freaking out and I genuinely feel bad for him.

Max not being able to stand his transitory period is a huge mood.

Max’s little hand wave is cute.

You know what else is cute? Space Kid holding up the box and yelling ‘isn’t this fun!’

Gwen I would love to read your fanfic! If it was censored, that is. But I’m sure they’re great..?

oh lawd he comin

You can physically see the gears turning in his head as he’s trying to figure out what to do. He doesn’t know how to comfort someone. Remember season 3? “Don’t...uh....tears?” So he’s going off the only example he can really think of: David.

It’s also incredibly telling that Gwen immediately assumes Max wants something.

“Instead, my ass is stuck in a trash can.” Gwen continues to be the biggest mood of the series.

Those are some David poses right there. Swinging arms, one hand on hip, marching off; Max is trying to replicate who he considers the kindest person he knows, even if he’s not doing it consciously.

‘Ass stuck in a trash can. Right.’ Why is this my favourite joke of the season.

Nikki honey, are you ok?

“Please tell me I’m about to be executed” “You wish!” I love their dynamic.

“-you’ve never seen Flash Fiancé”

“Disgusting.” I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC

“I don’t need to tell you what I wanted him to do with that shuttlecock” “Again, disgusting.”

Oh yikes.

And Max here makes a similar mistake to one David made in Season 2 with the Quartersister! Inviting someone from the past without checking what they’re like in the present.

Wait, is that Richie Branson? Dude definitely deserved his cameo! And he’s not a half bad VA either.

Max is the Flash.

Nikki grows her hair back between shots. Is this girl human?

“Dumb piece of shit hasn’t stopped smiling” I feel like Space Kid should inspire us all.

Nikki’s little speech here is exactly how I’m feeling rn.

Max likes reading! And there’s a genuine compliment!

“Oh no you don’t! You get your ass out of that trash can and start feeling happy!” The facade is off now. Shits gonna go down.

“Because I wanna start feeling happy!” almost made me cry. Max has gone from a person who wants everyone to be as unhappy as he is, to a person who wants to be as happy as everyone else is.

While I agree with Gwen here, that’s still a 10 year old.

I take that back, Max, that was mean.

“I don’t think you have to worry about changing. Something tells me you’re going to bitter and unhappy no matter what you do.” Oh, ouch. That resonated, and they both look regretful right after she finishes. I don’t think she meant it.

“Jesus Christ, it’s just a box of fucking clocks!!”

“The hell it isn’t! All I had to do was make one person feel better and I couldn’t even manage that!” BABY NOOOO. Kudos to Michael for that delivery, it almost sounds like he’s going to cry.

Way to ruin the mood, Campbell.

Campbell’s speech here is genuinely inspiring and very heartfelt. I actually really needed to hear this. Thank you, Campbell. I thought I’d never say that, but I have.

“So maybe there’s no need to rush anything. Sorry, Gwen.” Awww.

*looking at them smiling at each other* THIS EPISODE SAID MOMGWEN RIGHTS

THIS EPISODE SAID ‘PERFECT NUCLEAR FAMILY’ RIGHTS

Someone else pointed this out, but I’d like to put it here too. Gwen and Max don’t raise their hands. They both look slightly disappointed in the rest of the campers for not taking the message on board as much as they did.

“Did you just throw all your treasury bonds in the fire.”

“Mr Campbell no you have so much to live for!”

Yknow, I loved this episode. And I loved this season! But most of all, I loved interacting with all of you guys! This is the most active I’ve been in a fandom ever, and I’m grateful for all the friends I’ve made :)

[thelastarchangelaskblog]

Michael Takes the Pottermore Sorting Quiz

@the-grey-hunt came into my messages saying she’d taken the Pottermore sorting quiz as she thought Michael would and ended up putting him in Slytherin with Hufflepuff as the last option. So I decided to take it myself and ended up thinking about Michael’s thought process for each of the questions.

I’ve done the same for Gabriel/Tony and Samael as well and will also proceed to do the same for Raphael. I’m thinking of eventually putting this on AO3 as an extra story just for fun.

Also the mention about Dummy wanting to be in Ravenclaw but always ending up in Hufflepuff is 100% @the-grey-hunt‘s idea.

**

(Read more for mobile users.)

“I was already Sorted. Why are you asking me to take a quiz that will Sort me again?”

“You were human, then,” Gabriel pointed out, smirking. “Maybe it’ll Sort you differently now.”

“This isn’t the Sorting Hat,” Michael said, looking down at the pad in skepticism.

“As good as according to the author who penned the books of this universe.”

“Hm.” Michael tilted the pad in Gabriel’s direction. “Have you taken it?”

“Oh yeah.” Gabriel grinned. “Hat stall between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. Samael’s taken it, too, and Raphael as well. So it’s just you we’re missing.”

It was clear Gabriel wouldn’t let this drop, would probably stalk Michael with the pad in hand if Michael refused to do it. And if Michael did it now it wouldn’t be that bad, would it?

Resigning himself to his fate, Michael pressed the START button and read the first question.

Which of the following would you most hate people to call you?

Ordinary

Ignorant

Selfish

Cowardly

Gabriel wasn’t looking over his shoulder, but Michael had no doubt that he was somewhat aware of what answers he would select. He glanced at Gabriel and then deliberately veiled the tablet from Gabriel’s senses.

His brother made a face but didn’t otherwise argue, settling back to give Michael more space.

It didn’t really matter if people called him ignorant or ordinary. He had been ignorant at one point. As for ordinary…he wasn’t exactly ordinary, but it didn’t matter if people thought he was.

Selfish? If someone called him selfish - if someone said that he’d been selfish with what he had done… When he hadn’t ever really, truly wanted to fight his siblings and had only ever done so because his Father ordered it--

He hadn’t been selfish.

Cowardly?

No, that slightly annoyed but not like…

So “selfish” it was.

The second question read:

After you have died, what would you most like people to do when they hear your name?

Miss you but smile.

Ask for more stories about your adventures

Think with admiration of your achievements

I don’t care what people think of me after I’m dead; it’s what they think while I’m alive that counts

Clearly not B or C. Michael hadn’t had any adventures worth speaking of and his achievements weren’t anything to admire.

D? Perhaps at one point but… Michael knew his other siblings had thought of him as dead for a long time and had cursed his name for what he had done. He cared about that; it mattered.

But A? That wasn’t… Well…of the options it was the most palatable. If he only garnered fond thoughts after his (unlikely) death, then that was a good thing to hope for.

After selecting A, Michael read the third question.

Given the choice, would you rather invent a potion that would guarantee you

Glory

Wisdom

Power

Love

A and C were instant no’s. Michael had never wanted glory or power. And Michael had been Created to fight, but he had also been Created to love. So, really…

But if he had been wise from the start? If he had known what to do? Then so many mistakes might have been averted.

The fourth question was

How would you like to be known to history?

The Wise

The Good

The Bold

The Great

Ideally he wouldn’t be known at all. What good was an angel who smeared their accomplishments over everything? Some things hadn’t been helped given the Bible, but everything else?

Michael wasn’t bold; he wouldn’t want to be known as bold either. Nor great; that way led madness. He wasn’t wise; he wouldn’t be known as wise either. But good? Perhaps…if he redeemed himself enough… people might think of him as good instead of cursing his name.

The next question read:

You enter an enchanted garden. What would you be most curious to examine first?

The silver leafed tree bearing golden apples

The fat red toadstools that appear to be talking to each other

The bubbling pool, in the depths of which something luminous is swirling

The statue of an old wizard with a strangely twinkling eye

Well, that was a singularly useless question. If he entered a garden blind with no idea what was there, the first thing Michael would notice would be the tree. Every living thing was able to talk in some sense, so the toadstools weren’t that odd. The pool was curious but wouldn’t draw his attention first as it was set in the ground. As for the statue?

He’d perhaps wonder why Dumbledore had decided to put himself there.

The tree would be first, and everything else would follow after.

What kind of instrument most pleases your ear?

Violin

Drums

Piano

Trumpet

Michael stared down at it for a long moment, then looked up at Gabriel, who had an unusually patient expression on his face. “Instrument?” he asked flatly. “Is there no option for ‘none of the above’?”

“Nope,” Gabriel said cheerfully. “Pick your poison, brother.”

Human instruments sounded terrible. There were no good options here. The only one Michael found remotely pleasing was the trumpet and that was because Gabriel had one, but as for when the trumpet would sound…

No, Michael didn’t think the trumpet would ever sound pleasing to his ear because of what it meant. For lack of any other option, he just picked violin.

Four boxes are placed before you. Which would you try to open?

The small tortoiseshell box, embellished with gold, inside which some small creature seems to be squeaking.

The gleaming jet black box with a silver lock and key, marked with a mysterious rune that you know to be the mark of Merlin.

The ornate golden casket, standing on clawed feet, whose inscription warns that both secret knowledge and unbearable temptation lie within.

The small pewter box, unassuming and plain, with a scratched message upon it that reads “I open only for the worthy.”

Michael resisted the urge to snort as he read the last option. Worthy? Well, that one was right out. The third one sounded vaguely tempting but he didn’t think he’d do all that well with it.

He had no interest in anything of Merlin’s, and even if he could resurrect whatever poor creature was in the first box, it would still be in pain. So A it was.

Four goblets are placed before you. Which would you choose to drink?

The foaming, frothing, silvery liquid that sparkles as though containing ground diamonds

The smooth, thick, richly purple drink that gives off a delicious smell of chocolate and plums.

The golden liquid so bright that it hurts the eye, and which makes sunspots dance all around the room.

The mysterious black liquid that gleams like ink, and gives off fumes that make you see strange visions.

He had no interest in diamonds or sweet things. Let alone strange visions. That had never been in his purview. But C? His nature had always been heat and fire.

Once every century, the Flutterby bush produces flowers that adapt their scent to attract the unwary. If it lured you, it would smell of

A crackling log fire

Parchment

Home

The sea

Heaven had no scent, but that hadn’t been Michael’s only home, had it? And even so… Michael selected C mutely.

The next question was just bizarre and had Michael staring at it for a minute, wondering just what?

A troll has gone berserk in the Headmaster's study at Hogwarts. It is about to smash, crush and tear several irreplaceable items and treasures, including a cure for dragon pox, which the Headmaster has nearly perfected; student records going back 1000 years and a mysterious handwritten book full of strange runes, believed to have belonged to Merlin. In which order would you rescue these objects from the troll's club, if you could?

1. Dragon Pox Cure 2. Merlin's Book 3. Student's Records

1. Cure 2. Records 3. Book

1. Book 2. Cure 3. Records

1. Book 2. Records 3. Cure

1. Records 2. Cure 3. Book

1. Records 2. Book 3. Cure

He could theoretically recreate all of these if they were lost. Was there nothing more important to rescue instead?

“Think like a human,” Gabriel advised idly, who was now balancing his chair precipitously on the back legs and staring up at the ceiling.

With a small sigh, Michael selected the first option. If he had none of his abilities, he would certainly value health over knowledge first. As for the records…records weren’t that much use, were they?

Which would you rather be?

Trusted

Liked

Imitated

Praised

Envied

Feared

This one… This one didn’t require much thought. Michael didn’t have to be praised. He didn’t have to be liked (although wouldn’t that be nice?). But trusted? He’d lost the right to be trusted years ago.

Even so…

Which of the following do you find the most difficult to deal with?

Hunger

Cold

Loneliness

Boredom

Being ignored

The cold… Michael hated the cold, but he could deal with it. He was heat, even if at the end it had been--

But loneliness? Michael had never been lonely before until finding himself in this world. Even in the Cage, shut off from the connection all angels shared and only feeling Lucifer’s presence and not his thoughts… Michael hadn’t actually been alone.

His friends had helped but they were nothing compared to the company of another angel.

What are you most looking forward to learning at Hogwarts?

Every area of magic that I can

Apparition & Disapparition

Transfiguration

Flying on a broomstick

Hexes & jinxes

All about magical creatures and how to befriend them

Secrets about the castle

As Wayne Hopkins he’d been so eager to learn about absolutely everything he could. That hadn’t changed even now as Michael found himself looking for differences between what he had known in his old world and the rules of this world.

If you could have any power, what would you choose?

The power to read minds

The power of invisibility

The power of superhuman strength

The power to speak to animals

The power to change the past

The power to change your appearance at will

If he could have any power of the ones that he already had?

Only…no. He could travel back in time, but he couldn’t change the past. And if he could change the past? Knowing what he knew now?

Michael kept his face blank as he selected his answer and moved on.

Which of the following would you most like to study?

Centaurs

Goblins

Merpeople

Ghosts

Vampires

Werewolves

Trolls

Absolutely none of the above but if he had to select one he’d just go with ghosts because they were different here.

One of your house mates has cheated in a Hogwarts exam by using a Self-Spelling Quill. Now he has come top of the class in Charms, beating you into second place. Professor Flitwick is suspicious of what happened. He draws you to one side after his lesson and asks you whether or not your classmate used a forbidden quill. What do you do?

Lie and say you don't know (but hope that somebody else tells Professor Flitwick the truth).

Tell Professor Flitwick that he ought to ask your classmate (and resolve to tell your classmate that if he doesn't tell the truth, you will).

Tell Professor Flitwick the truth. If your classmate is prepared to win by cheating, he deserves to be found out. Also, as you are both in the same house, any points he loses will be regained by you, for coming first in his place.

You would not wait to be asked to tell Professor Flitwick the truth. If you knew that somebody was using a forbidden quill, you would tell the teacher before the exam started.

That was another easy question considering free will and students having to learn. He’d give the classmate the opportunity to confess. But why was there no option to confront the classmate yourself?

Michael selected B irritably.

You and two friends need to cross a bridge guarded by a river troll who insists on fighting one of you before he will let all of you pass. Do you:

Attempt to confuse the troll into letting all three of you pass without fighting?

Suggest drawing lots to decide which of you will fight?

Suggest that all three of you should fight (without telling the troll)?

Volunteer to fight?

Why would Michael suggest drawing lots if his companions were humans? C made sense if they were all humans, but even so trolls were tricky for humans to take care of as a group. D was just suicidal.

Even if Michael wasn’t human, he wouldn’t immediately suggest fighting the troll. There were other options, so A it was. Even if he didn’t have Gabriel’s flair with words.

Which road tempts you the most?

The wide, sunny grassy lane

The narrow, dark, lantern-lit alley

The twisting, leaf-strewn path through woods

The cobbled street lined with ancient buildings

He’d walked shrouded in shadow long enough with the decisions he’d made. Why would he do so again?

Michael selected A and moved on.

Which nightmare would frighten you the most?

Standing on top of something very high and realizing suddenly that there are no hand- or footholds, nor any barrier to stop you falling

An eye at the keyhole of the dark, windowless room in which you are locked

Waking up to find that neither your friends nor your family have any idea who you are.

Being forced to speak in such a silly voice that hardly anyone can understand you, and everyone laughs at you

The first three were objectively rather frightening. (The fourth was laughable and Michael discarded it immediately.) But all of them…

“How far did you fall?”

Michael swallowed, picked A, and moved on quickly.

Late at night, walking alone down the street, you hear a peculiar cry that you believe to have a magical source. Do you:

Proceed with caution, keeping one hand on your concealed wand and an eye out for any disturbance?

Draw your wand and try to discover the source of the noise?

Draw your wand and stand your ground?

Withdraw into the shadows to await developments, while mentally reviewing the most appropriate defensive and offensive spells, should trouble occur?

If he were human… Even now, Michael would investigate such noises carefully, as there wasn’t a need for angelic abilities every time. So if one considered a “concealed wand” to be his more specific abilities…

There was no need to remain back and do nothing. That way led to something going wrong.

Definitely A.

A Muggle confronts you and says that they are sure you are a witch or wizard. Do you:

Ask what makes them think so

Agree, and ask whether they'd like a free sample of a jinx

Agree, and walk away, leaving them to wonder whether you are bluffing

Tell them that you are worried about their mental health, and offer to call a doctor

This was…actually an amusing question. And certainly one plausible enough.

If a Muggle came up to him right now?

“You’re a wizard!”

“Am I? What makes you think so?”

A it was.

The last several questions seemed to serve no purpose so Michael just picked dawn (because everything started anew), stars (because they held life), forest (he just picked this one randomly), white (as it was closest to his own Grace), heads (again randomly), and right (once more randomly).

Once he finished, the quiz results beamed up at him with a proud HUFFLEPUFF (at 77%?). Ravenclaw was underneath that at 64%, followed by Gryffindor at 50%, and then Slytherin at 15%.

“Huh.” Gabriel was now looking over Michael’s shoulder. “I suppose that shouldn’t be much of a surprise with all the books you scribble in, but your Slytherin friends were insistent that you would’ve done well in Slytherin.” He tapped pointedly at the 15%.

Michael refused to comment. “Happy now?”

“Very,” Gabriel said cheerfully. “Now I’m going to let the bots do what they want with this info. I think Dummy’s still a little put out it keeps putting him in Hufflepuff; he wanted Ravenclaw.”

Michael considered what he knew of Gabriel’s eldest and drew a blank at seeing Dummy in Ravenclaw. “No,” he said flatly.

“Yeah,” Gabriel sighed, taking the pad back from Michael. “I love him, but he’s not, eh, the brightest tool in the box sometimes. Now You on the other hand…”

There was no way Michael was involving himself in that discussion.

[swan-archive]

so: ya gal viewed a Certain Notorious Play the other night in SF

a little post-mortem, because i just KNOW you all needed another one of THOSE

Michael Luwoye was a wonderful Hamilton. i know it’s catty to rag on LMM’s voice, but really, the sheer DIFFERENCE it makes when you have an actor with a powerful voice in the role. doesn’t even compare. he roared and howled and bellowed and felt like a tiny compact hurricane bursting off the stage. amazing.

- i specify “tiny” because he was VISIBLY SHORTER than both Solea Pfeiffer and Amber Iman. TINY HAM IS CANON

- Luwoye’s act 1 young Ham was maybe the cutest thing i’ve ever seen! he was SO thrilled to meet Burr and SO excited to make friends and SO jazzed to go out drinking and revolution-ing with them, just so desperate to be liked and find a place and make his name. cute boy. excitable boy.

- not to monster au at yall but Luwoye literally SNARLED “call me son ONE MORE TIME” and uuuuhhhhhh it’s all canon, all monster aus are canon now, i don’t make the rules, i just live in fear of them like yall do

- and then the turnaround between that and a more tired, more morally compromised, running-out-of-options Ham in act 2! a really deft character shift and one that was delightful to watch.

- interesting little character moment: from what i’ve heard/seen most Hamiltons jump right back into the game after “Say No To This,” bantering with Burr and bouncing off to the meeting with Jefferson and Madison to Get Shit Done. Luwoye did not play it like this. his Hamilton was visibly wrung out and sick at heart at the beginning of “Room Where It Happens,” answering Burr in clipped monosyllables and not looking at him and standing all stiff and still until he started to mimic Burr’s “talk less / smile more” in an intentionally crude and sorta nasty style. this Ham was not happy to have to take a page out of Burr’s book.

- Luwoye’s “Hurricane” was a powerhouse. the rapped section was this howl of defiance that nearly knocked me out of my seat, Ham standing there and daring God to do His worst and vowing he’d get back up again. ooooooof. intense.

- Luwoye emoted like a MOTHERFUCKER. his break in “It’s Quiet Uptown” was gutting. tears literally dripping off his face.

- this cast seemed...lighter on the Lams than other productions, which was a bit disappointing, but at Laurens’ first verse in “My Shot,” Luwoye did that hilarious deer-in-the-headlights fullbody freeze at him as he had a Strong Gay Moment

Joshua Henry’s Burr felt very different from Leslie’s as it comes across on the cast album/b**tl*g, but in a super compelling way. i think i saw an article that referred to his Burr as more of a “showman” than Leslie’s, and if i’m remembering right, i agree with that description. Henry!Burr was very mobile and raggedly charming, always had a disingenuous wide-eyed smile hitched up, except for...when it slipped. the untrustworthy self-serving mercenary Ham sees by the end of act 2 was very much in evidence here. 

- and his Burr broke SO EARLY! by “Winter’s Ball” he was already visibly/audibly like WHAT THE HAP IS FUCKENING re: Hamilton’s ascent. his “Wait For It” right on the heels of that was so angry. you could feel his desperation as he tried to justify his methods to the audience, and his unspoken understanding that nothing he is doing makes sense. this was a Burr who, on some level, KNEW that his schtick was not going to remain tenable for long, even if he didn’t know the exact nature of his own breaking point. suuuuuuuuuper engaging to watch.

- ahhahahaha and his delivery of the “...Okay,” in “Non-Stop” was HILARIOUS it was like “hmm yes please keep doing this thing where you say nice things about me perhaps”

- ...also, not to be crass, but somewhere around “Non-Stop” i became suddenly and powerfully aware of how his thighs looked in his costume and uuhhhhhhhhhhh. can we just like. get a Yell Heah real quick for Buff Burr? Yell. H e a h

- act 2 Burr spiraled REAL quick. his “Room Where It Happens” was wild-eyed and electric and frantic and by the time they got to “Your Obedient Servant” and TWWWE he was just a WRECK. where Leslie’s Burr gave at least the impression of making a measured choice to shoot to kill, Henry’s was clearly running on fumes and not in control, and it was terrifying and great.

- and not to go too out of order but can i just say, “Aaron Burr, Sir” is kind of a throwaway exposition-y song, but having it played between two black men? REVELATORY. INCREDIBLE. “fools who run their mouths oft wind up dead.” we were five minutes into the play and i was already like ulp

Emmy Raver-Lampman is the great love of my life and she will be my bride one day, even if i have to defeat Daveed Diggs in unarmed single combat for the privilege. i will do it. i will do whatever it takes to know the touch of her hand. are you listening, Emmy? i’m right here. i’m right h e r e

- my favorite thing about her act 1 Angelica was how YOUNG she played her. which, granted, she is a younger actress than Renee/Karen/Mandy, but i thought it was a really powerful interpretation given that Angelica really is only two years older than Eliza, is still not all that old herself when Eliza’s doing her giddy “Helpless.”

- okay. okay, so. Emmy’s “Satisfied.” okay. a YOUNG “Satisfied.” instead of a mature regretful reflection on a decision that had pros and cons on either side, the regret and the loneliness and the love felt incredibly raw and immediate. Emmy’s interpretation was very “yes, i made this choice, and oh my god what if this was IT, what if this was the END what if there is nothing like this for me ever AGAIN, i cannot take it back and i would not take it back but oh god oh god oh god” and it. destroyed. me. she had that flutter in her voice that you get when you’re crying and laughing at the same time at the second “to the groom / to the bride” and holy shit it was devastating

- also: G5 BITCH TEAR OUT MY THROAT WITH YOUR TEETH

- another fun thing about Emmy’s Angelica was how utterly unimpressed she was with every man she interacted with! her teardown of Burr almost felt like an afterthought in how easily it came out. her chemistry with Luwoye wasn’t as immediately sparky as, say, Renee and Javi’s, but their back-and-forth was very banter-y and instantly comfortable and you really got the sense of two people who could have clicked together given the chance.

- her act 2 interactions with Ham were delightful too—at the end of “Take a Break,” the staging has Angelica start to chase after Ham when he leaves all “i can’t stop until i get my plan through congress.” this was not an “i languished in a loveless marriage in London i lived only to read your letters” chase as Emmy played it. it was a “bitch i have been on a boat for THREE MONTHS and if you think i’m gonna just be like oh hahah whatever we don’t need to hang out when i came all the way over here to see your wife and you then THINK AGAIN—” chase. it was Good. her rejection of Ham in “Reynolds Pamphlet” was so complete and crushing too—it was obvious that Ham was not even on her mind, she was there for Eliza.

i expected to like Amber Iman as Peggy/Maria, but i didn’t expect the extent to which she would steal the stage whenever she was featured in a song! she was so lively and read so well from the audience and was just a joy to watch.

- her Peggy was HILARIOUS. where Jazzy’s Peggy in “Schuyler Sisters” seemed more bratty-kid-sister-i-wanna-go-home-i’m-tiiiiiiiiiiired, Amber’s was like “you guys. you guys. we’re going to get mugged. we’re going to get shot. we’re going to get mugged, and then shot, and then murdered for good measure and WHY IS NOBODY LISTENING TO ME FUFKDCHSDKSFKHEJ” and the fact that this came across so strongly when she was sharing the stage with The Great Love Of My Life and could not have rightfully expected to claim any part of my attention is a credit to her

- the faces she was making at every male cast member who came within 2 feet of her were HILARIOUS. THE FUCK IS THIS. THE FUCK IS YOU. this was a Strong Lesbian Peggy for sure.

- and then her Maria! her Maria was magnetic. she played her as complicit but very obviously unhappy about it; whenever she stepped away from Ham as he did one of his monologue bits you could see the tension and nervousness and distaste on her face, but then he’d turn back to her and the mask would snap back up. not to toot my own horn but like...I Have Been Right This Whole Time.

- and then that red dress just draws the eye whenever Maria’s onstage, such that you couldn’t help but seek her out and watch her standing there silently as Ham drove himself over a cliff into the ocean. she was RIGHT THERE for all of “We Know,” standing there under one of the staircases next to Ham as he went off, watching watching watching and UGH it was such a little thing but it was so good.

i was surprisingly not as sold on Solea Pfeiffer as Eliza as I thought i would be? she had some great moments and was overall a strong performer but for whatever reason they never quite added up to a cohesive whole for me. whatever. still gonna marry her

- her “That Would Be Enough” with Michael Luwoye was actually deeply tragic in a way i’ve never seen/heard from any of the other Eliza/Alex pair-ups. these were clearly two people on completely different pages, having conversations right past each other, and that hurt me very deeply as someone who ships the thing. but it was in my mind also very believable characterization! whatever. i wanted to die. TALK ABOUT YOUR FUCKING FEELINGS, CHILDREN

- actually one of my favorite moments of hers was a teeny tiny one in “Take a Break,” during the verse where Angelica is reading the comma sexting letter. Eliza is onstage but out of the spotlight at this point, tidying up, and she’s bent over and closing the piano when they get to the “my Dearest...Angelica.” for a second she raised her head and half looked over her shoulder and i was like OOOHHHHH SHIT because it felt very, like, “Eliza knows about this flirtation but trusts Angelica not to overstep her bounds BUT is still deeply unsatisfied with how it is playing out” and i just. liked it. good shit.

- i think there’s a spectrum of “Burn”/post-“Burn” Elizas; in my mind i look at it as the spectrum of ice Elizas (exemplified by Pippa) to fire Elizas (exemplified by Aubin Wise/Lexi Lawson). Solea’s “Burn” fell closer to Pippa’s on that scale, very cold vengeance and restrained but ugly hurt, but after that song she ran even colder than Pippa’s Eliza. she didn’t break at all in “It’s Quiet Uptown,” not even when Ham did. her air was this frigidly magnanimous “yes. you did this to us. don’t presume to do it again,” and she looked to be the one supporting him as they exited. i don’t know that that’s my Eliza, but it was interesting to watch.

didn’t have super strong feelings about any of the revset/dual cast folks, aside from surprisingly Jordan Donica as Laf/Jefferson! was not expecting to jive on him, given Daveed is such a charismatic actor in both those roles, and he was clearly working hard for the trickier raps, but he was very funny and fun to watch.

- as Laf, he really got across the sheer Badness of Lafayette as a person, in the sense that he was deeply uncool and trying real hard and just. not. quite. making it. he was also very good at the physical comedy bits given that he is built like a man who is half human, half giraffe, and half random bag of pipe cleaners stashed in the back of the crafts closet of an elementary school classroom.

- seriously he is ALL LIMB. he TOWERED over everyone else onstage. A MONSTER. A MISSHAPEN GIANT

- he also played a very slick and menacing Jefferson who was constantly using his height advantage to attempt to intimidate Ham. didn’t work, obviously, but made for some very striking tableaux in the cabinet battles.

Ruben Carbajal had a lovely voice but i believed him more as Philip than as Laurens because HE LOOKED LIKE A LITERAL CHILD. HOLY SHIT. chubby cheeks and petulant pout and all. it was nuts. where is hamilton casting getting ahold of all these FETUSES

- as i mentioned i preferred Anthony’s Laurens but i did enjoy what a fratty little fucker Ruben’s Laurens came off as. like a hummingbird given human form. that was fun.

Mathenee Treco was a good Herc, kinda camp gay dad friend? which was unexpected but fun. his Mads was a little more vital than it seems like other people’s tend to run; he came off as someone who would overreach himself and then break down into coughing. something a little different.

i eh...didn’t particularly care for Isiah Johnson’s Washington. it was a fairly played straight Local Dad Fed Up With This Shit, Just Wants To Go Home And Build A Deck, which like...isn’t wrong, but there could be more, you know? eh. nothing’s perfect i guess.

i think it was @duckbunny who characterized Rory O’Malley’s King George as “bratty spoiled rich child throwing a temper tantrum” to Groff’s “sleazy abusive bf” King George? or maybe that was someone else? anyway i believed it, both because of his very round babyish face and because of his lack of poise compared to Groff’s King. he was scaryfunny. i habitually skip kgiii’s songs when listening to the cast album, so i was pleased to find myself enjoying all of them live. still think either “What Comes Next?” or “I Know Him” could’ve stood to be cut and replaced with...almost anything else to cover the costume change, really, but they’re fun, no big deal.

this has very little to do with anything but the ensemble featured dupes for Carleigh Bettiol, Betsy Struxness, and Ariana DeBose, i wasn’t sure what to do with this information, perhaps you are not sure what to do with it either, we can just hang out and be puzzled together, it’s chill

[nemhaine42]

here follows a rant

There’s something about how Jack is usually written* like he’s from the stone age when it comes to technology and pop culture. It’s kind of irritating. Jack Zimmermann is one single solitary year younger than I am, and I relate to Jack a lot. Not so much in terms of being rich, good-looking hockey royalty but more in the sense of mentally ill, possibly autistic spec, kind of awkward, lgbtqa kid. The ‘unfamiliar with apps’ and whatever bugs me because there are similar things that I’m unfamiliar with but it’s not because I’m an idiot or a dinosaur, it’s because i don’t care. Both Jack and I are perfectly capable of understanding what Snapchat is for. I know what Snapchat is. I don’t care. I tried Twitter, twice in fact. I didn’t like it. It wasn’t fun for me. I feel like the same probably applies to Jack, especially because I stopped caring about that shit in like 2009 which is exactly when Jack OD’d. 

If I was going to write ‘behind with technology’ Jack, I would write it this way: the first mobile phone he ever had was probably around the turn of the century, and it likely had a screen about a inch wide and half an inch tall. It had like eight ringtones on it that were nothing but chirrups and beeps, and he misses that thing like hell because it was the first one he learned to use. He used the abc def method of texting, he was really fast at it around 2004 when he was talking to Kent. He could probably still text fast like that if they still made phones with that input method rather than qwerty touchscreens. The only reason he upgraded the thing was because Bob accidentally washed it. The one he got after that was tiny, minute, like that one in Zoolander. And he thinks phones should last way longer than they actually do. Because when they were new and exciting to him, that technology didn’t move forward as fast as it does now. I had phones for several years before feeling it was out of date. Then like last year when I tried to get my phone fixed, I found that they didn’t even make the model I had anymore and it wasn’t even a year old. So to Jack, smartphones are just phones. They call, they text, they have alarms. Maybe ten years ago he bothered putting custom ringtones on his phone, now he just picks a standard one because who cares. Mine is just the one that sounds the most like an actual phone… used to.

Jack probably still has an iPod separate from his phone, even though his phone is fully capable of being both. He comes from a rich family, he probably got a really good early model iPod for a birthday or Christmas or something. Bob probably washed that too. He probably got really excited when they came out with ones in fancy colours, and picked a colour, then kept on picking that colour for iPods as well as other stuff. My colour was silver, so now I like a lot of other tech to be silver. My gut is telling me Jack’s was yellow :\

Music. Holy shit, music. I know it can be geographically specific but a lot of US and Canada stuff worms its way over here. I started listening to music - like seriously listening, having it to accompany everything i did, following certain bands and collecting CDs - in 1996/7, when the Spice Girls were popular. I liked a lot of what seemed to be “little girl music” so maybe that wasn’t Jack’s cup of tea, idk. But after that, through the early and mid 00s, music in the style of classic rock and metal was much more widespread and popular than it is now. It was the beginning of emo, okay? Jack listened to MCR and no-one can convince me otherwise. Sum 41, Blink-182, Linkin Park, Green Day. He maybe liked a little Marylin Manson, Eminem and 50 Cent. RHCP, I really liked in like 2005 when I had exams. But also stuff that started to bleed backwards, Nirvana, Metallica, Guns ’n’ Roses. He also has parents who were young and cool in the 70s and 80s so I guarantee you there’s some Michael Jackson, ABBA, and Bruce Springsteen kicking around on his laptop. If Jack really went through Bob’s or Alicia’s record collection he might have found Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, AC/DC, Joan Jett, Pink Floyd, ELO, QUEEN omg Queen. We listened to so much Queen when I was like 14. We sang it loudly and obnoxiously during lunch. Anyway - Jack knows who Beyonce and Taylor Swift are. He just doesn’t care as much as Bitty. It’s not his thing. Beyonce is the lady from Destiny’s Child. One day he’ll turn to Bitty and ask “so what ever happened to Kelly Rowland?” Jack might, under duress, admit that Lady Gaga can be catchy, about 4 years after any given song is released.

Jack - and, let’s be real, Sidney Crosby - draws so much shit for those yellow shoes. And no they’re not cool, never were but that ain’t nuthin’ compared to some of the crap I wore in around 2000. Around then my grandfather retired and had a big party, and to that party I wore: a pair of electric blue and pink snakeskin print PVC flared trousers, a bright pink tank top, and one of those stretchy interlace chokers. Yellow crocs ain’t shit.

Okay, I’m done. All out of steam.

*it’s fic okay just do whatever the fuck you want

[thrashermaxey]

Ramblings: Fantasy Calder Candidates (Part 2), Ho-Sang, Brannstrom, Theodore

Elias Pettersson is the Golden Boy

  Does anyone else think Shea Theodore is hearing footsteps? Long been dubbed as one of the top fantasy blueline prospects, the 23-year-old remains a holdout from Golden Knights camp. His absence coupled with Nate Schmidt’s suspension has opened a large hole on the left side. That hole is being filled by 2017 first rounder, Erik Brannstrom and he’s looking to seize the opportunity.

  Brannstrom is a new-age defender. He’s undersized, mobile, crafty and loves to jump into the play. He relies on his IQ and processing skills to skate the puck out of trouble and into offensive situations. Through four preseason games, the recently turned 19-year-old has four points and looks ready for a chance during the real games.

  Theodore was already battling for power play minutes before the infusion of Brannstrom. If he’s not careful, he’ll be left on the outside looking in. And I’m not just speaking contractually.

  I remain somewhat lower on Theodore's upside than many. I expect a season in the 30-35 point range. As for Brannstrom, he has a very high ceiling and should be considered the future solution to that top PP point job. However, expecting much more than 25 points from the rookie would be asking a lot. He can still yet end up in the AHL, or even the WHL where Brandon selected him 37th overall in the CHL Import Draft last June. 

  {source}<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Erik Brannstrom will start the year with the Golden Knights. He earned it but the Schmidt suspension facilitated it. <br><br>I have a feeling his play will force the team into moving a different player when Schmidt returns. <br><br>He’s going to be a beauty.</p>— /Cam Robinson/ (@Hockey_Robinson) <a href="https://twitter.com/Hockey_Robinson/status/1044339638570119168?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 24, 2018</a></blockquote>

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  Don't wait until the last minute to get Dobber's Fantasy Guide and the Prospect Report! 

  **

As the conclusion of the (too lengthy) preseason draws near, teams are whittling down their rosters. The New York Islanders are no different. Except they made some noise on Monday by sending down Michael Dal Colle, Josh Ho-Sang and Keiffer Bellows.

  Bellows was dangerous throughout the preseason and camp. But he’s a fresh rookie and the AHL is a good place to learn. MDC was the fifth overall pick in 2014. He hasn’t even come close to looking like a top-six AHL threat, let alone a full-time NHLer. Sadly, he’s gone down bust avenue.

  But Ho-Sang should be on this team. That is of course if they didn’t fill their roster with a glut of bottom-six, one-way contract players. There’s a chance that Ho-Sang’s off-ice stuff is what’s holding him back, but there’s an equally good chance that his waiver ineligibility is playing a role here.

  Any chance the Islanders are quietly tanking in hopes of finding another Tavares?

  **

Philly has a new mascot named Gritty. I don't even have words. 

    **

  We now jump back into the finish the countdown of the top 10 Fantasy Calder Candidates. This exercise has focused on the point-production of the 2018-19 rookies and how valuable they’ll be to your squad this season.

  5. Casey Mittelstadt

  The eighth overall selection from 2017 had an interesting draft-plus one campaign. He stepped out of High-school hockey and into his freshman season at the University of Minnesota. There he produced 30 points in 34 games. Strong results but not world-beating. He was demonstrably more impressive at the World Juniors and concluded his campaign with six contests for the Sabres. There he scored a goal and added four helpers. That final stretch of action had fantasy manager licking their chops

  The Good 21-41-62

  If things fall into place, Mittelstadt owns the high-level speed and skill to produce top-end freshman numbers. The key will be in his deployment (big surprise), his team taking a massive step forward, and his ability to adjust to the NHL on an everyday basis. The 19-year-old is pencilled in as the second line centre behind Jack Eichel. He’ll be flanked by Kyle Okposo and Conor Sheary. That’s not a bad place to be. And he’ll be afforded secondary matchups as the defensive focus will be squarely placed on L1.

  A spot on the top power play unit is key here. And realistic. If the American pivot can find his sea legs at even-strength, Okposo bounces back, and the Sabres top power play unit starts finishing as their talent-level would indicate possible, it’ll be a fun year in Northern New York.

  The Bad 8-23-31

  The preseason hasn’t gone as smoothly as Mitteltstadt and the Sabres would have liked. That could mean little, but if it’s an indication of his situation play, the numbers will suffer. A lack of chemistry or production on L2 and a spot on the secondary power play unit will be leaving owners disappointed.

  The Likely 14-31-45

  As per usual, the most likely is somewhere in the middle. Mittelstadt will see some decent deployment opportunities, but it’s difficult to produce at even-strength as a rookie, as especially one who is tasked with the responsibility of a centre and moving around mid-level wingers. He’ll likely see stretches on each of the power play units, providing a boost to the production but likely not massively so.

    4. Dylan Strome

  The classic post-hype sleeper. Owners of the 2016 third overall selection have had their patience tried. Sent back to junior for two post-draft seasons was hard to swallow. A full campaign in the AHL didn’t help matters. Except if you’re following closely of course. What Strome accomplished as a 20-year-old AHL rookie was beyond impressive. His final stretch with Arizona to close out last season tells the tale a player who is ready to contribute on an everyday basis.

  The Good 16-40-56

  A spot on the wing in the top six would provide the most action at even-strength. A spot on the top power play unit would push things into overdrive. It’s unlikely that both of these things occur but if they do, Strome has the skill and hockey sense to help the Coyotes push towards a playoff spot.

  The Bad 7-20-27

  Stuck in the bottom six and on a less-than-stellar second power play unit will really push GM’s to pull out their hair.

  The Likely -14-35-49

  Some time bouncing around the middle six and top two power play units should be enough to get him moving in the right direction. If something slips with the Alex Galchenyuk-at-centre-experiment, or a Derek Stepan injury the door would open much further. While many are ready to write this player off, now would be an opportune time to buy and for him to push forward.  

      3. Rasmus Dahlin

  The first overall selection from 2018 has the talent to be a franchise-altering player. The type of defenseman you build championships around. And we’re not just talking about the Sabres here. He has that same type of juice in the fantasy landscape. The 18-year-old plays a skilled and silky game that leaves your jaw-dropped at times. He has incredible one-on-one offensive skills, terrific speed and a mind for play creation. He’s the best draft-eligible defender since Drew Doughty and many (myself included) rate him ahead at the same age.

  The Good 12-38-50

  Many have questioned whether the Sabres would slide Dahlin right onto the top power play unit from day one. That would mean shifting Rasmus Ristolainen out. Risto has been one of the more effective power play defenders in the last three seasons, so it would take some guts to do so. But if they do give the youngster the best minutes, that means he’s producing enough to justify it. 50-points as a true rookie blueliner is as rare as unicorns but will be the low-end of his prime aged metrics. He has the ability to change the game in a flash and if he finds his NHL legs quickly, he could blow the doors off of the predictions.

  The Bad 5-22-27

  A difficulty producing offense at 5v5, a spot on a deflated second power play un, and the Sabres continue struggling to provide team offense. Possible and plausible for an 18-year-old. If that’s the case, expect a muted year.

  The Likely 8-30-38

  Right smack dab in the middle. Dahlin sees the good amount of top power play time, but the overall offense in Buffalo sputters once again. He ranks third on this list due a 38-point season from a blueliner being more valuable than a 45-50-point campaign from a forward.

      2.  Andrei Svechnikov

  The number two overall selection will go first overall in a lot of rookie drafts this fall. The dynamic Russian goal-scorer is a threat from all over the ice. His ability to convert from outside the dots is as impressive as his willingness to get dirty and finish the hard way down low. Svechnikov joins a tantalizing young core in Carolina. He has the opportunity to mesh with Sebastian Aho or Martin Necas – not a bad proposition. He’s physically mature. Owns high-end skill, and is entering a good situation. This is a rare player with 40-goal upside.

  The Good 32-32-64

  Chemistry on the top line and top power next to Aho would go a long way in his bid for a Calder Trophy. Svechnikov was one of the best even-strength scorers in junior hockey and looks to continue that trend

    The Bad 18-20-38

  The same as always – slow start, lack of power play time, missing chemistry at evens. Of all the players listed, this seems the least likely.

  The Likely 27-26-53

  Plenty of goals. Plenty of highlight reels made. Plenty of good times in Carolina. A 53-point season is nothing to sneeze at and is just the first step in what should be a terrific career.

    1. Elias Pettersson

  We’ve all heard the story countless times. The rail-thin forward was drafted as a playmaking centre. This despite playing primarily on the wing in his draft year. While he didn’t add much weight heading into 2017-18, he did add a ridiculous release. Pettersson torched the SHL; finishing as the point leader during the regular season and playoffs. He was named Rookie of the Year, MVP and playoff MVP. He led his Växjö squad to a championship, took home a silver at the WJC and was apart of the gold medal winning Swedish squad at the Worlds.

  He broke Kent Nilsson’s U20 SHL scoring mark and has been widely considered the top player outside of the NHL. Well, he’s in the NHL now. And he’s making those claims look justified.

    The Good 30-44-74

  It appears evident that the soon-to-be 20-year-old will make a great deal of hay on the man-advantage. If he can find some success at even-strength, the sky’s the limit. The preseason has seen him working with Sven Baertschi and Nikolay Goldobin a great deal. That trio would bring the creativity and skill needed for Pettersson to thrive as a full-time centre.

  Dubbed The Alien by his Swedish mates for his out of this world skill, he boasts creativity, confidence and a plethora of weapons to hurt you. A push for 75 points wouldn’t surprise many, but would be a massive feather on a weak Canucks’ squad.

  The Bad 17-27-44

  Stuck on the wing next to Brandon Sutter; a top power play that falters; and a difficulty transitioning to the small ice surface and bigger opponents. It’s plausible.

  The Likely 27-34-61

  Pettersson is the front runner for the Calder Trophy and 60-odd points will normally get you close. Outside of Mathew Barzal (85) and Artemi Panarin (77), no Calder winner had produced more than 69 points in the last decade.

  There will be bumps in the road for this talented player, but his ability to create offense is unquestionable. I’ve said for some time that he’s a player with triple digit upside. 2018-19 will be the first step in that journey.

    Honourable Mentions (The Likely)

  Filip Chytil (8-22-30)

Kailer Yamamoto (15-28-43)

Miro Heiskanen (6-26-32)

Anthony Cirelli (13-24-37)

Sam Steel (9-22-31)

Robert Thomas (13-30-43)

Andreas Johnsson (17-19-36)

Valentin Zykov (18-20-38

Dylan Sikura (13-26-39)

  **

  Follow me on Twitter @Hockey_Robinson

from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-fantasy-calder-candidates-part-2-ho-sang-brannstrom-theodore/

[365footballorg-blog]

Boehm: Doing MLS All-Star their way, Atlanta keep pushing things forward

August 2, 20181:50AM EDT

ATLANTA—This city and its soccer scene keeps exploding perceptions – MLS conventional wisdoms, its own viability as a market for the pro game, even MLS’s vision of itself – and now it’s done so with the All-Star experience as well.

Atlanta United have turned heads with their huge crowds, big ambitions, splashy spending and a high-octane style of play, and they got the attention of everyone in town this week, too. Starting with Saturday’s Beltline Block Party – the first of many festive occasions around town – and culminating with Wednesday’s match vs. Juventus, the ATL welcomed Italy’s reigning champions and the rest of the league with the same flair, soul and swagger that put its music, food and culture on the world map long ago.

Did someone say Flair?

@Ludacris Is In The House! WOOOOO! #mlsallstar pic.twitter.com/BeNqWKoy37

— Ric Flair® (@RicFlairNatrBoy) August 2, 2018

“These guys are doing it right,” said New York Red Bulls center back and All-Star debutant Aaron Long after the 1-1 friendly draw. “The fanbase is unbelievable, the stadium’s electric.

“Personally, it was a great opportunity for me, honestly, to get myself in front of a lot of fans and to play a good brand of football with a lot of great guys. It’s not every day that I, or a lot of these guys, get to play against Juventus.”

Columbus Crew SC goalkeeper Zack Steffen is one of the few visiting players to have quieted the home faithful at the awe-inspiring Mercedes-Benz Stadium, via his penalty-kick shootout heroics in last year’s MLS Cup Playoffs, and he said he experienced “less stress” in this week’s visit, even if he couldn’t stymie Juventus like he did Atlanta United last fall.

“I mean, the atmosphere here every night is amazing,” Steffen said. “The fans here in Atlanta, they’re not only just loud, they actually understand soccer too, and it’s awesome to see, and it’s a lot of fun to play in front of, every time.”

The final score is hardly the most important thing about All-Star games, but it’s important to give the fans – a whopping 72,317 packed in on Wednesday – a show. And it sure is nice to put European royalty through their paces, which is exactly what the All-Stars did, putting coach Tata Martino’s aggressive high-press tactics to use despite having only two training sessions together.

“We tried to put pressure on them high, and we did it really well even if we couldn’t have enough time to train, to get trainings on the pressure,” said Portland Timbers maestro Diego Valeri. “But it was a good performance and the intensity was really high.

“It was a good experience to learn some ways to prepare something quickly, to prepare something from almost nothing, and it was very good. You could see today how we pressed and it worked, because we created a lot of turnovers and created chances from there.”

Martino’s work in Atlanta has more than lived up to the hefty reputation he carried with him from FC Barcelona and the Argentine and Paraguayan national teams, and he impressed again this week, making the most of his limited time with his star-studded squad. All-Star practices tend to be relaxed runthroughs, but Tata did his best to make this year’s team a celebrity-ridden facsimile of his Five Stripes.

“We know we have a responsibility to try and play in this game and not just try and contain and defend Juventus,” he said postgame. “This was a team of MLS All-Stars, the best players in the league chosen by the fans and by the coach, so we felt like we had a responsibility to really try and propose our own style in the game.”

#MLSAllStar just kicked off – one thing that struck me about this year was how committed and in-depth Tata Martino was in the 2 training sessions he had with the squad. Clearly loves his craft. I recorded a bit of yesterday’s POTB activity:https://t.co/R9hns0Y6FH

— Charles Boehm (@cboehm) August 2, 2018

This year’s illustrious visitors have lit up some of the world’s biggest stages and filled their trophy case over the decades, but they made clear that what they saw in the ATL was unique.

“I was very pleasantly surprised for the entire climate and the entire impression that we got from Atlanta,” said Juventus manager Massimiliano Allegri. “It’s not easy to put 70,000 people in a stadium like today, you know. We also had the opportunity to see all the presidents of the US teams last night, there was a dinner with the MLS and it was really an honor and a pleasure for us to be part of it. There was so much enthusiasm, they were able to create such a good momentum in the United States and I think this speaks well for the future.”

At its core, though, All-Star is all about fun, and The Big Peach certainly knows how to do that. From the parties and meetups to the community service to the game itself, this year’s spectacle set a new standard for what this event can be.

“I thought it was awesome, a really good showing by Atlanta and everyone that put on this event the last few days,” said Atlanta United captain Michael Parkhurst. “The city really supported every MLS All-Star, they were cheering for us, you could hear guys’ names being yelled and I think that was awesome. There weren’t too many people out there rooting for Juventus. But we expect nothing less – our fans are the best in the league and they came out here in force today.

“It’s an awesome event that keeps getting bigger. It’s so much bigger than it was my first All-Star 14 years ago.”

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Boehm: Doing MLS All-Star their way, Atlanta keep pushing things forward was originally published on 365 Football

[cunyappliedtheatreblog]

ALUMNI SPOTLIGHT SERIES : JULY

Radical Joy – Brisa Areli Muñoz (‘13) on Pedagogy, The Public, and Applied Theatre

Interview by Michael Wilson (’11)

Brisa Areli Muñoz co-created Thirteen O’Clock Theatre in South Texas in 2008 and moved to New York for the MA in Applied Theatre in 2011. She served as an Associate Program Director at the CUNY Creative Arts Team and took courses in Organizational Change Management at The New School, on her way to The Public.

Let’s start with a theatrical moment that just won’t leave your imagination, from anytime in your life. What comes to mind?

Ooh, that’s good. I worked on this project called the Food Project in 2014, in collaboration with company members from Thirteen O’Clock Theatre. The Food Project was inspired by a Washington Post article “Too Much of Too Little” by Eli Saslow. This piece cited the Rio Grande Valley as the poorest and fattest place in the nation. Our original participatory production sought to explore the circumstances that contribute to these statistics through conversation with audiences and the expertise of stakeholders in the region such as farmers, doctors, economists, health practitioners, and artists.

In one scene entitled “Food Medley” actors performed 1-minute original songs comically depicting their personal relationships to food. Afterwards, these same actors broke out into the audience to have small group discussions. Audience members were sitting at picnic tables, and actors asked them to look at the “menu” in front of them, a piece of paper with a plate, knife, and fork drawn on it.  “Draw what you eat on a weekly basis on the inside your plate, and on the outside of your plate, write what circumstances lead you to select those food options.” A son and a mother got into a private conversation about why pizza was on both of their plates. The young son, who must have been six, said, “mom you always get pizza but my school says you should eat greens too.” And the mom turned to the son and said, “I only get you pizza because it’s the only place that I have time to stop by between my jobs when I pick you up from school.” And then, of course, as an attempt to comfort her he says, “it’s okay mommy, I like pizza, I like it.” But then she turned to him and said, “no, thank you for telling me. I’m gonna think about where else we can get you food.” Unfortunately the reality is, in many situations, access to fresh food is not easy, hence the reason we sought to provoke conversation and mobilize action through this event where food was provided and programming was free. But that was it. Those totally human moments of discovery are theatre, aren’t they? Theatre is just a representation of humanity…it’s a recreation of humanity.

And what are you doing at The Public Theater?

I’m in a program called Public Works, as Manager of Community Partnerships. The program partners with organizations across the city, to bring people together to build theatre capacities. We work with Military Resilience Foundation—so with veterans—with elders at Brownsville Recreation Center, Fortune Society, we work with Dreamyard up in the Bronx, Domestic Workers United…I support the teaching artists and the curriculums they’re building, and, as a teaching artist, I teach the intergenerational class, at the Center for Family Life in Sunset Park.

There’s a culture that’s a part of the program: the “spirit”, as I’ve been best able to name it, is that of radical joy. Systems of oppression are so alive in the experiences of so many people living in New York. Public Works attempts to create the space where we can simply be in community with each other and be joyous and make theatre together, and really be recognized by an institution, The Public, for the value that each of these members brings.

So that is radical.

It is. And I don’t experience those spaces very often. I used to think you couldn’t get to the joy without working through the pain. And what I’ve been able to see is that if you put joy at the center, that’s a way into the pain that’s not about having to move through it.

Would you tell me a story that gets at that joy you’re talking about?

Absolutely! This intergenerational class is a great example. We have a mix of English, Spanish, and Mandarin speakers in this group, and we have all ages: our youngest member is five—Aiden, he is INCREDIBLE.

On session eighteen of twenty, I sent them away to devise, in their age groups. The most theatrically exciting piece was from the group that had straddled between nine and eleven, in their corner doing their thing…and Aiden, the five-year-old. They were sneaking in the night to get the cookie jar. You see them in the dark creeping toward something. Then the light turns on and they get super scared and someone playing the mom voice is like, “what are you doing down there?” They’re like, “NOTHING!” She falls back asleep, then they chant, “cookies, cookies, cookies, cookies!” They get to the cookie jar, but then it’s twenty feet tall, so they pile on top of each other and put the five-year-old on top, and reach for the cookie. It was so fun to watch because they were playing with levels, with scale, with character, with storytelling, with all of it.

They so naturally understood how to make exciting theatre, all on their own—I was just there to make sure they didn’t fall. Meeting every week and creating from their mind builds their capacity to do this work. It’s not about that I’d taught them anything, but that I put the framework out there for them to create within. This is what freedom looks like: chaos. You know what I mean? Utter chaos. And joy, and energy, and commitment. Everyone committed to making a piece of theatre.

You talked about this as radical joy, and you talked about going to the joy first, and, what you just described has analogies to politics. Sneaking in perilous situations to get to the cookie jar…

Brisa: 100%. The one that the 8-year-olds did took place at the Statue of Liberty, and they decided that they were in prison and one of them had escaped. People who were standing around, pedestrians at the statue of liberty, saw that the cops were looking for them, and decided that they would hide them. It was this joyous, “COME HERE! WE’LL HIDE YOU!” And they hide behind one of them, or hide behind a chair. Meanwhile, this little girl is standing on a stool holding herself up like the statue of liberty the whole time, kind of watching it all. You know what I mean?

It’s symbolic, and resonant of immigration. And what you just described goes back to pedagogy. This was successful because you created structures for them to create inside, whatever—

—whatever they wanted it to be. Absolutely. Absolutely.

I had such a great learning experience in the MA program. I came at a time when I was so young…I mean, I still am…but I was 22! And I had come from an organizing background. My whole time in the MA in applied theatre, it was theory, me trying to wrap my head around the theory, not recognizing the ways I was already doing it in practice. And so I’m finally at the point, now, eight years after I first entered, where I see they’re in conversation with each other. It’s no longer just theory. It’s my practice.

You love to create the opportunity to pause, assess what’s going on, individually, in a community, in society, and then choose possibilities, new actions—

Yeah. It’s learning. I am so curious about people and their experiences. The only way we’re able to create joy is if we hold space for each other: to play, to explore, to learn, and question, and provoke, and all these things theatre has the inherent ability to do. And so much of it has to do with de-stigmatizing and de-constructing what it means to do theatre.There is so much theatre out there that is inaccessible, or “not about my story,” or, “fun to watch, but doesn’t really make me think so hard,” and it makes people question arts capacity to stimulate curiosity. In so many ways I’m asking, “well what do you think theatre’s capacity can be? In what ways are you served, are we served, by thinking about it differently? In what ways are the communities we live in served by thinking about it differently?” And to get at that conversation through play, what’s better?

[londontheatre]

The Significant Other Festival (c) The Pensive Federation

It never takes that long for a group of British people to find themselves talking about the weather, and so it is almost inevitable that this edition of The Significant Other Festival, in which – to summarise – two’s a party but three’s a crowd, should at some point take ‘Conditions’ as an overarching theme.

Despite ten (very short!) plays and an equally short musical having different writers, different actors and (mostly) different directors, there were some links between the plays. Some links were more explicit than others, with the same props coming up time and again, serving different purposes. As for the subtler links, well, that would be giving too much away.

Humid by Anthony Cozens opens proceedings with a bit of a ‘swearathon’, a point I didn’t personally pick up on at the time but it was commented on by fellow audience members in the interval. There are, of course, people who do tend to swear as naturally as they breathe, but here, when all three characters are at it, there’s little to distinguish one from another. Miles (Michael Shon) is at a fairground with his partner Izzy (Olivia Negrean). He is carrying around a goldfish that he won earlier in the day by putting some hoops through some objects. This being a funfair, the fish has been in a bag for an indeterminate period and has now died, presumably through lack of oxygen. The fish’s fate gives Izzy’s friend Hannah (Katherine Jee) the impetus to hurl insults at Miles (yep, more swearing). The ending is open-ended enough to leave a question in my mind about the fish being a metaphor for Miles and Izzy’s relationship unanswered.

Flurry by Olu Alakija was the darkest of the plays, and not just because it was set in a forest in the middle of the night. It is, to be blunt, gradually revealed that of the three characters, played by Leanne May Bennett, Ashleigh Cheadle and Virginia Lee, one shows no remorse or pity whatsoever for the death of a man who “shattered” their own lives, which understandably horrifies the other two. It is not made entirely clear – perhaps it wasn’t considered important – precisely what the deceased man did, or was alleged to have done, but it’s clear that this isn’t a motiveless murder. The play got me thinking about how I would react to discovering if I were complicit in the taking of another person’s life: I might well have ended up being the character in this play that started panicking and needed calming down.

One more thing: I couldn’t help but scribble down a line in this play about the weather. “The wind is howling like an X-Factor contestant.”

Inclement by Emma Allison sees Mark Bentham (John Rayment) and his second wife Nina (Rekha John-Cheriyan) meet up with his ex-wife Linda (Pat Garrett). Or, rather, Linda meets up with them, in order to join in with the many arrangements required for Simon and Louisa’s wedding. The bride is Mark’s daughter by Linda. Nina has no patience for Linda’s fretful personality, and the play quickly becomes beautifully dramatic and explosive. The fears and insecurities of both Nina and Linda are palpable, though it is Nina’s forthrightness that ends up putting a substantial dent in Mark’s diplomacy, with almost devastating consequences.

Tornado by Lydia Rynne is set at Simon and Louisa’s wedding, or rather, the reception, though the (presumably) happy couple remain off-stage characters. The best man, Adrian (Nick Pearse) and a bridesmaid, Kyla (Kate Tulloch) are lost in a maze at the reception venue. There is, probably, some imagery going on with being lost without a roadmap and only the weakest of mobile phone signals with which to attempt to contact a friend. It wasn’t altogether clear to me what the ‘tornado’ in Tornado was, except to say that this pair initially seemed too different from one another to commence a relationship, even one that, for reasons unfolded within the narrative, would only last a relatively short time. The ‘significant other’ role, a fired waiter (Roberto Landi) is rather underwritten and plays an ultimately negligible part of the play.

Gust by Alexander Williams begins with Gail (Elizabeth Guterbock) taking her friend Steve (Anthony Cozens) out of doors for a badminton match. The standard of play is inconsequential to the dialogue, particularly when Robin (Kamran Vahabi) appears. Robin has, in Gail’s own words, betrayed her trust, and while Robin and Steve are more than reconciled, Gail remains uncompromisingly unresponsive. The play is an intriguing observation into how certain people who busy themselves trying to ‘help’ are often themselves unable to swallow the sort of medicine they insist others must take in order to get over the past.

Overcast by Rob Greens had me in a combination of laughter and deep thought. Becca (Christi Van Clarke) and Angie (Hanna Lucas) are using a pair of binoculars to spy on people. Not just any people, but people they know. There isn’t much difference between this and looking people up on social media and reading about what they have been up to. Warren (Jamie Coleman) enters the scene after an altercation with an off-stage character (one the ladies are spying on) from which he has both physically and psychologically run away from. The implications and applications of this storyline are vast – it seemed to me to be a reminder not to draw conclusions too hastily from what can be seen at face value without being aware of the bigger picture.

Thaw by Reece Connolly sees another dead goldfish as a narrative driver. Colin (Luke Lampard) and his girlfriend Jenny (Evelyn Lockley) are attempting to bury ‘Gary’, the late fish belonging to Colin’s sister Abbie (Flora Ogilvy). Abbie is distraught at the news, and there’s a hilarious moment in which, in desperation, she attempts to use body heat and friction to warm the frozen ground up. This came across as a coming of age story, and in burying the fish, Abbie is also saying goodbye to an age of innocence and, one would hope, able to go onwards and upwards in life.

Haze by Sylvia Arthur begins provocatively. “I’ve just seen Mother in bed with a fascist,” declares Sidney (Laura McGrady), a statement that becomes all the more strange, and macabre, once it is established what has happened to ‘Mother’. Shelley (Laila Alj), the firstborn of these three siblings, has a long-standing secret that can now be revealed to both Sidney and Sonny (Alex Dowding) now their mother has passed away. Why wasn’t anything being done about a corpse being assaulted though, irrespective of the assailant’s political beliefs? Hazy indeed.

Cold Front by Brian Eley considers what happens when loyalties are tested by the practicalities of life. Squidge (Rachael Oliver) is naturally defensive at the change in living arrangements between herself and long-term friend Becks (Rachel Smart) and relative newcomer Jess (Katherine Rodden). The narrative took a while to really get going. A lot of time in the first half was given over to establishing that this trio get on very well with one another through fun, games and singing, and at first sight I couldn’t see the point of it all. On further reflection, it’s an example, par excellence, of how people prepare for awkward conversations by living in the moment and crossing the bridge of confrontation only when it is reached.

Drought by JFW Nutt starts with an apt question: “Why is it called London Luton?” It is indeed in Bedfordshire and well outside both the Oyster public transport travel zone and the M25 motorway. A stream of silliness is quickly established as Tamsin (Jayne Edwards) and her partner Ben (James Lawrence) try to enjoy an afternoon out with Ben’s older sister Annette (Lydia Smart). Annette speaks her mind, and all of her thoughts spill out, however unsavoury, without any filtering or leaving out of even the most trivial of details – Tamsin later points out that Annette must do better to take her “meds”. It isn’t easy for the likes of Ben, trying to care for family members while trying to live out his own life. A good combination of hilarity and poignancy.

Sunny Spells by Frances Bushe (with music composed by Lemon and Franner Otter) skilfully tells a story through song – there is some spoken dialogue, too, and a suitably big finish allows for the rest of the cast throughout the evening to join in a rousing closing number. The lyrics are witty, even if the narrative isn’t, with characters played by Antonia Bourdillon, Clark Alexander and Sydney Aldridge dealing with what to do with an increasingly frail elderly relative who now requires round-the-clock care (and no, a one-way plane ticket to Switzerland is absolutely not on the cards). If a fuller version of Sunny Spells were of the same quality as this short musical, it would be worthy of a West End run – there’s something about looking to the future and carrying on even when one is frightened of messing things up along the way that places this well-devised show firmly within the canon of musical theatre.

Review by Chris Omaweng

The Significant Other Festival 14th to 18th March 2017 http://ift.tt/2kUAXNu

http://ift.tt/2m0r5aj LondonTheatre1.com

[nofomoartworld]

Art F City: This Weeks Must-See Art Events: The Art World Mobilizes for 2017

Farley Aguilar, “The Protest,” oil on linen, 2015. Aguilar has a solo show opening Sunday night at Lyles & King.

For everyone who has complained that the art world is too apolitical in the past month or so, take note of how 2017 is kicking off. We have a week of feminist exhibitions, the start of a month-long project about Trump’s America Saturday at Petzel Gallery, and shows that tackle topics from water contamination to the holocaust and the attack on the Pulse nightclub in Orlando.

Welcome to the art world in the Trump era. If the list of participants at Petzel’s event is any indication, the big guns are coming out.

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Wed

The Callahan Center Gallery at St. Francis College

180 Remsen Street, Brooklyn, NY 5:30 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.Website

Fred Terna: Processing Chaos, Recurring Echoes

Fred Terna has been making art for over 70 years. In 1946, one year after being liberated from the concentration camps where he had survived for four year, Terna went to art school in Paris. Since then, he’s experimented with abstractions that borrow from surrealism and cubism—with emotional undertones informed by his traumatic experiences. In this exhibition, we’ll see work he’s made since 1970. That would be an entire retrospective for most living artists—it’s humbling to think that represents just about half of Terna’s career.

Thu

Cheim & Read

547 W 25th Street New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.Website

Louise Bourgeois: Holograms

Who knew the late, great Louise Bourgeois made holograms? I sure as hell didn’t, and I’m a fan of both. In 1998, Bourgeois was approached by the holography studio C-Project and invited to produce a series. This is the first exhibition of the 8 plates that came from that collaboration. As one would expect, the press release promises they’re dreamy and full of “slapstick horror.” A definite can’t-miss.

  Cheim & Read

547 W 25th Street New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.Website

Tal R: Keyhole

Also at Cheim & Read, another show that looks great. Copenhagen-based artist Tal R has asked his friends in different cities to send photos of storefronts from their local red light districts. Tal R then translates these into whimsical crayon drawings and paintings—each depicting a colorful, stylized sex business from strip clubs to gay bars. These look like they’re going to be a lot of fun.

  Paula Cooper Gallery

521 W 21st St New York, NY 6:00 PM to 8:00 PMWebsite

Dan Walsh

    Nobody commands a grid like Dan Walsh. It helps that his paintings tend to be much larger than your average grid painting. (Many of the canonical minimalist paintings from the 70’s as well as those that hail from Bushwick don’t tend to exceed 35 to 40 inches. Walsh’s paintings are more frequently in the 70 inch range.) As we noted in our review of his 2012 show, they have a lot of weight to them as a result is needed in a cavernous space like Paula Cooper Gallery. Past that, though, it’s the fact that each painting seems so worked that makes them so compelling. This is the type of art that can easily look mechanical and robotic. Walsh avoids that at every turn.

Morgan Lehman Gallery

534 West 24th Street New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.Website

David S. Allee: Chasing Firefly

Back in October at the Art Critical review panel nobody had very good things to say about Martin Creed’s billboard sized rotating sign “Understanding” located in the Brooklyn Bridge Park. Pretty much any interpretation had brought by the viewer and the piece really wasn’t that deep. Credit David S. Allee with a photograph of the sign that improves upon the public art work. In the nighttime photograph, the sign is surrounded by rings of light due to the slow exposure. It resembles the parenthesis people on twitter put around their name to express shock. In these dark times, Allee’s gesture seems right on the money.

The show will be filled with Allee’s night time photographs—a series he’s returning to after 10 years and we’re glad to see it. Night, through Allee’s lens, seems dramatic, bold, yet eerily still. It’s a good combination, and one that definitely should be seen in person.

Fri

Grady Alexis Gallery /El Taller Latino Americano at Artspace PS 109

215 E 99th Street New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.Website

Nor Any Drop to Drink

  As artists become more politically engaged, we expect to see more shows like Adam Zucker’s curated show “Nor Any Drop to Drink”. According to Zucker, the show is “a response to the global deterioration of water sources and the conflict between the synthetic and natural world.” Most recently, the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe’s actions protesting the Dakota Access Pipeline have brought this issue for artists to the forefront, though the fact is we all need to be paying attention to the coming water shortage. This exhibition is just one attempt at raising consciousness.   

Participating artists: Vanessa Albury, Jacinto Astiazarán, Alli Miller, Jay Milder, Rifka Milder, Emilia Olsen, Michael Sheng

Chapter NY

249 E. Houston Street New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.Website

Ann Greene Kelly: May Not Be Private

Ann Greene Kelly’s assemblages mash-up references to the body, architecture, and just a little bit of consumer culture. They evoke a strange sensation of domestic and body horror, and given that the show takes its title from a women’s health brochure, have a political urgency as well.

VICTORI + MO

56 Bogart St. Brooklyn, NY 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.Website

Phoenix Lindsey-Hall: Never Stop Dancing

Phoenix Lindsey-Hall has slip-cast 49 porcelain disco balls, one for each victim of the terror attack on the Pulse nightclub in Orlando. This looks to be a powerful installation—each ball will be illuminated in the darkened gallery—in keeping with the artist’s practice of memorializing queer victims of hate crimes.

Jamaica Center for Arts & Learning

161-04 Jamaica Ave Jamaica, New York 7:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.Website

Closing Reception for Female Adapter: New Work by Faith Holland

We’ve frequently featured Faith Holland on the blog, whose singular brand of feminism-meets-web-savvy-meets-sexy-GIFs is right up our alley. Unfortunately, we haven’t had a chance to make it to Jamaica to see this show, the end result of Holland’s year-long New York Foundation for the Arts (NYFA) Studio Residency Program at the center. Be sure to make it to the closing reception, where one can check out her site-specific “Queer Connections” installation, which spans 13 feet.

  Sat

Petzel Gallery

456 W 18th St New York, NY 10:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m.Website

We need to talk...Artists and the public respond to the present conditions in America

  The staff of Petzel Gallery decided to devote the first month of 2017 to some much-needed strategizing about how the art world can respond to the disastrous results of November’s elections. They’ve divided this program into both an exhibition and a space for viewers to dialogue. From the gallery:

Participation in writing, through film, and in live discussions.

As visitors enter the gallery they will be invited to write down their reactions, thoughts, anxieties, hopes for the future, on a giant billboard on the wall.

The gallery will also devote one room to screening film clippings, shorts, vignettes that in some way tackle today’s issues. This part of the program is open to anyone who wants his or her concerns brought before an audience. Submissions* will be added to a loop and screened in the gallery as well as on the website.

Saturday Symposiums: on three Saturdays during the show, interested parties and the public will be invited to participate in symposium-style conversations, debates, and readings on different issues: Civil Liberties (January 21st), Immigration (January 28th), and The Environment (February 4th). Details to follow.

Artists Respond: A list of artists whose work will be on view in the main space is in formation, but at time of press, includes Yael Bartana, Judith Bernstein, Andrea Bowers, Troy Brauntuch, AA Bronson, Paul Chan, Mark Dion, Sam Durant, Rainer Ganahl, Hans Haacke, Rachel Harrison, Dana Hoey, Jenny Holzer, Jonathan Horowitz, Josh Kline, Barbara Kruger, Sean Landers, Louise Lawler, Glenn Ligon, Robert Longo, Allan McCollum, Joyce Pensato, Raha Raissnia, Peter Saul, Dana Schutz, Gary Simmons, Dirk Skreber, Slavs and Tatars, Andrew Tider/Jeff Greenspan, Wolfgang Tillmans, Rirkrit Tiravanija…and more to come. A percentage of sales will be donated to any organization that seems appropriate to artist and collector.

*Beginning January 1st, 2017: please send submitted video files titled “January2017” as downloadable links via WeTransfer, Dropbox, or Vimeo to video@petzel.com. If uploading via Vimeo, please ensure the video is downloadable and can be added to collections. Work should be up to 5 minutes in duration, with a max file size of 2GB, one submission per sender. Submissions will close January 31st. We reserve the right to omit videos with offensive content.

  La MaMa Galleria

47 Great Jones Street New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.Website

Lintel, Mantel, Module, Shelf

  Curated by Samuel Draxler, this show is intended to subvert the conventions of sterile, prefabricated domestic spaces. And if the press image is any indication, it should be a hit. GaHee Park’s oil painting “Drama” features a wine & cheese & sex party in a motel room. She’s the best. Full disclosure: we recently showed GaHee Park’s work in our exhibition Strange Genitals.

Artists:

Lauren Bakst & Yuri Masnyj, Elliott Jerome Brown Jr., Mary-Ann Monforton, GaHee Park, Isaac Pool

  CUE Art Foundation

137 W 25th Street New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.Website

The Visible Hand

“The Visible Hand” is a term in economics for management, in opposition to the Invisible Hand of the market. So here, four artists and one collective present themselves as managers of sorts. Maureen Connor, for example, presents a more counterpoint to institutional critique—she investigates the HR problems of host institutions and then creates installation to help solve them. I’m not sure if that’s what’s going on in the above image, but whatever these things are, I want one for our office.

Artists: Chloë Bass, BFAMFAPhD, Maureen Connor, Devin Kenny, Jen Liu.

Sun

Whitney Museum of American Art

99 Gansevoort Street New York, NY 3:00 p.m.Website

Blade Runner—Autoencoded

  If there’s one benefit to living in the dystopian “future” we call the present, it’s that we finally know what androids dream of—and it’s usually weird as hell. Terence Broad has built an artificial neural network (which I imagine is somewhat similar to Google’s Deep Dream …or maybe one of those episodes of Star Trek where Data tries to make art) and shown his creation Blade Runner. He then tasked his AI to recreate the film, frame-by-frame, from memory. I can only imagine how weird the resulting movie, which is screening at the Whitney, will be. The event is free for members, or $12 for non-members. Totally worth it.

  A.I.R. GALLERY

155 Plymouth St Brooklyn, NY 4:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.mWebsite

Sinister Feminism

  This is our DUMBO neighbor’s 12th biennial, and just based on the name alone it’s gotta be good. We’re not familiar with any of the artists involved, but the press release sounds bad-ass:

“Sinister Feminism. We fortify veneer into armor. We appropriate from misogynist sources. We exceed the cinematic ideal. We vibrate the sound of the city. We endure. Our physicalizations we know are transgressive. We are a halation of line. We throw shadow across the page. We teach the tongues of the past. We mock the habit of metonymy. We transmit the sense of hysterics. We smell. We hurl what we are required to withstand: our bodies, our selves. We are trying to reach you. We wildly grin.”

Artists:Lucas Berd, Dora Budor, ceramics club (cc), Kerry Downey, Dolores Furtado, Nicolás Guagnini, Caitlin Keogh, Chelsea Rae Klein, Lizzy Marshall, Whitney Oldenburg, B. Quinn, Lili Reynaud-Dewar, Torbjørn Rødland, Karin Schneider and Leigh Ledare, Bailey Scieszka

Curated by Piper Marshall and Lola Kramer

Lyles & King

106 Forsyth Street New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.Website

Farley Aguilar: Bad Color Book

Miami-based, self-taught painter Farley Aguilar’s paintings remind the viewer why paintings are fun, and sometimes frenetically anxious. They’re populated by expressionist figures in surreal tableaus. Clowns, wrestlers, religious figures, and other archetypes seem squeezed together in tense, brushy compositions. Traces of revisions and happy accidents dot their surfaces, and there’s a sense of playful horror in both subject matter and process. This is the definite highlight of Sunday night.

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