#I had to make this when I got the idea I couldn��t stop myself

[nixwriteschaos]

Lets assume overhaul had a son who is the same age as the class with his or a similar quirk. we can assume he wasn't the best father. but picture how awkward Izuku and Mirio might acts around him if he gets thrust in the class. Bonus points if he Izuku says sorry about beating overhaul and his reaction is just ehh I wanted to do it myself.

A Little Too Alike

Izuku Midoriya x Overhaul’s Son Male!Reader [PLATONIC?] Summary: After Overhaul was arrested, his son was taken in by U.A along with Eri. When Mirio and Izuku found out, let’s just say it was very awkward…

★☽A/N: I seriously had no idea what to do with the insert character so I just wrote BNHA… Anyways, I have no idea whether my writing has gotten better or worse! Please tell me… I don’t know at all 😭

Contents: FLUFF - COMEDY?

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As everyone from the yakuza group was getting taken away, arrested, one of them looked awfully similar to Overhaul. Midoriya, shocked, walked towards him and turned him around, only to see gold colored eyes, similar to of Overhaul’s.

“Woah, Midoriya!” A hero ran up to them, stopping Midoriya from doing anything else. “Who is he? Why does he-” The hero shushed him, trying to get the young hero in training to calm down. “We’ll explain everything once everything settles down.” Midoriya watched as the striking double of Overhaul walked away with the other yakuza members.

After that, the weeks that went by were dreadful. He couldn’t stop crying for days after Sir Nighteye’s death. He tried to smile at his funeral, but he knew he couldn’t keep up a smile like Mirio, just like how the hero wanted. Even though his friends tried to comfort him, he still didn’t feel much the same.

It got worse when someone was introduced to his class.

It was the carbon-copy of Overhaul, the same male he saw last time. His blood boiled at the sight, but remained as calm as he could. As Mr. Aizawa introduced the young male to the class, the students that joined the raid were surprised by the last name.

“Y/N Chisaki.”

He had the same last name as Overhaul, also known as Kai Chisaki. A few of them started to get defensive of him. “He will be joining us from now on.”

“Mr. Aizawa. I mean no offense but why is he joining us? Kero.” Tsuyu asked, a bit curious. “Some of you may know this from the news or actually being there. A villain named Overhaul was arrested and this is his son.” Students who didn’t know were surprised to hear this.

A villain’s child was joining them?

“Are you sure, sir?” Kaminari asked. Mr. Aizawa nodded and told Y/N to sit in the back beside Todoroki. He nodded obediently and walked towards the empty seat, nodding as a sign of acknowledgement towards Todoroki who did the same.

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A few weeks went by and the class had started to trust the young male. Even though students who were on the mission, Kirishima, Uraraka, and Asui felt awkward around him, they managed to trust the male enough to talk to him normally and have a fun time.

When Mirio found out, he was actually cheerful about it. He said, “I think it’s a great opportunity! He could go down a different path from his father! A bright future!” with a smile on his face.

Midoriya sighed at Mirio’s statement. Everyone was moving on from this but Midoriya wasn’t!! He didn’t know why he couldn’t move on, he just couldn;t! Every time he saw Y/N, he felt a sense of rage.

Perhaps he was seeing Overhaul in Y/N. The striking resemblance was uncanny. His brown hair, his gold eyes, everything about him screams Overhaul. But he knew he had to make this right. If he wanted to continue to train to be a hero, he needed to move on from the past.

“Hey… uh… Y/N?” Y/N turned around, gold eyes sending shivers down Midoriya’s spine. He sighed shakingly. He bowed down as he hurriedly said “Uhm… Sorry about beating your dad!!” with a loud voice.

No response.

He lifted his head up, finding a confused face.

“Huh..?” Y/N tilted his head in confusion. “Uhm… it’s okay..” he muttered softly.

Let’s just say… He was embarrassed.. Like- to the point the poor boy was blushing hard in embarrassment.

  ‿̩͙‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ‿̩͙‿

[igotanidea]

Essay : professor!todd x student!reader part 1

A/N: this is a completely new verse, I just couldn;t stop myself, so if you ever get ideas for that one I'll take them in a heartbeat.

A/N 2 : I was wondering whether to finish it here of give you more spice, but decided to just whet your appetite for part 2 ;)

***

Do you know how they used to call her in high school?

The unsullied.

Like in a freaking “game of thrones”

All because while her friends were partying, getting drunk and scoring, she was far more focused on her education and school work. And damn, that girl was sharp. Her writing and literature skills and instincts were something people would admire if they weren’t shallow and judgmental.

Instead she got the teasing nickname and all her peers treated her like she didn’t exist.

And of course it hurt, not having girlfriends or anyone who would even try to understand why she would rather spend her time in the library in the company of Shakespeare or Emily Bronte or Charles Dickens instead of drinking and having accidental sex. It was painful to admit that she never had a boyfriend or that she lacked experience in so many social areas. But she just clenched her teeth and pushed through, telling herself that she didn’t have to have all the answers at the age of 17.

She worked hard for a couple years and that got her a scholarship and entry to the college of her own choice. And while her parents and family were pushing her to choose something big, like New York or other big city, much to their surprise and displeasure, she decided to stay in the state and attend Gotham University.

“Why?” her mother almost got a heart attack upon hearing the revelations, choking on the fancy cake served at the tea.  (one more word about the girl – she came from the really fancy, new-money family, where she never fit, being way to feisty and fiery. She could never be described as a lady despite her mother’s best efforts).

“Just because” she shrugged

“watch your tone, girl.” Her father warned “never speak to your mother like this.”

“sorry, sir.” She smiled apologetically, but it was meant more like a sarcasm then a real word of remorse “ Gotham has one of the best university literature program. And since it’s something I want to pursue��.”

“I think we should let her make her own choices, father. Y/N knows what she’s doing.”

Thank god, for her older brother, Tom, who always had her back. He was the only person she was going to miss when leaving. But he was right. She knew what she was doing. And Gotham did have the best literature course. And that was because of one of the professors, Jason Todd.

At the young age of 26, being only a couple years older than her, he managed to finish his studies summa cum laude and having a few awards on his account decided to dedicate his life into teaching and shaping young minds. Y/N couldn’t wait to attend one of his classes.

Yeah, college was going to be life changing for her.

Only she didn’t know how much when she first stepped into the hall of residence.

***

Soon enough she found out that first years were not supposed to attend Todd’s classes. Apparently something about heavy and mature content on different levels.  To put it simply, no one below 21 were allowed to engage in those discussions.

But Y/N was sly and determined enough to sneak into the evening lectures, making notes to herself and being an original thinker she got so much ideas and inspirations just by sitting in the corner of the classroom and listening. It went like that for half a year and she believed herself to be clever enough to not get notices, but apparently professor Todd was even better in the art of deception. And it all started when she lost her notebook while leaving and figured it out on the way to her room.

“Shit!” she hissed turning around immediately and looking for the lost item on the way. If it were to get into unfit hands, in the worst case – dean’s – and her secret would be uncovered , she would be expelled immediately due to not abiding the rules “Fuck!” she whispered-yelled again, having reached the classroom and still not finding it.

“don’t creep there, miss Y/l/N, come on in.” Professor Todd’s voice echoed through the empty hall and she shivered. How the hell did he know she was there? And more importantly, how the fuck did he know who she was?!

“I’m sorry to interrupt professor.” She started “I’m just …. I mean, I…..”

“Lost something?” he asked, his green eyes meeting hers and it was like a spark of electricity through her. God, was he handsome. Only now, she understood  the rumours on the campus, something about girls attending his course just for him, not really for the books and stories. Shit! She didn’t really have much opportunities to watch Todd while sneaking out and watching her every step.

“Yeah, I …. I mean, I…..” she stuttered “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t even be here, and what I’m writing there is just stupid and …..”

“The only thing stupid here is that no one under 21 can join my class.” Todd laughed sonorously “come here, miss Y/N, please, sit, I won’t give your secret away.”

“You won’t?” hypnotised by his voice and eyes she took a few steps forward and perched on the first desk, out of instincts waving her legs in the air in a child-like manner.

“No. Sure not. I read some of your notes, forgive me that” he apologised quickly seeing the terror on her face “and those are good. Like really good. I don’t think I have such an original thinker here in like …. ever, to be honest” he smiled brightly “how old are you again?”

“almost 20 now.” She sighed in frustration. Here she was, sitting in front of her idol, unable to get full advantage of his knowledge.

“such a shame. Would love to know your brain more.”

“Can I just have it back and be on my way? I won’t bother you anymore, I promise I don’t want any trouble." she reached for her notebook, but did it so clumsily that it made her lost her balance in the process and she started falling to the ground, when her weight overbalanced the desk. She would probably end up on the floor, if it wasn’t for Todd’s reflexes. His strong arms found a way around her waist holding her tight, her hands locking on his arms and all of a sudden feeling safe and not so eager to leave.

“You good there?” he asked as their gazes met.

“Yeah…. I…..” once again the spark flew between them. Maybe it was just her imagination but she saw something predatory and …. lustful(?) in his eyes. “I… I really should be going now, professor. It’s late and after curfew and ….. sorry.” She grabbed the book from his hands, fixed her shirt and bag and rushed out the door.

“Miss Y/L/N?” he called after her and the girl spun around to face him.

“You can keep coming to my classes. Like I said, it’s a stupid rule and your secret’s safe with me.’

“Um, yeah, sure, professor, thank you.” She mumbled and practically took off running to her room, having absolutely no idea what was happening to her .

***

She didn’t get much sleep that night, instead taking care of the urge and itching between her legs, imagining green orbs and silky voice calling her good girl and a one particular man touching her. Good thing she had a single room with pretty thick walls.

***

It became pretty clear that classes were not enough for either of them. All things considered they kept it professional for a long time, only meeting in public places, discussing some teacher-student stuff, not really making any of the stuff suspicious. Apart from some additional rumours, nothing new on the campus, they were extremely correct and hesitant to do anything stupid.

But.

Literature talks and exchanging beliefs and ideas quickly led to getting to know each other on way more personal level. She learnt about his family, his adopted father and brothers and he got the whole story of how she was treated in school and why she chose to specialise in literature.

They were getting close.

Arguably closer than teacher – student should, but the more time they spend together the less they cared.

Soon enough their meetings moved from the classrooms and campus to the outside places. And from the days to the nights, always being careful not to get caught. But the urge and the sexual tension between them was making them slip.

It was only a matter of time before someone would lose the war of nerves and needs.

***

Since the dean was tuned in to everything that was happening on the uni ground, after a couple of months Todd was called into his office and had to some heavy explanation of why he was doing nothing less but hanging out with a student that was still under the legal age.  Barely, but sill.

And with the natural ease and smoothness the young professor talked and talked about y/n’s talent and insight and how she was wasting her potential while waiting to be admitted to his classes. He used some pretty convincing arguments about the fame and reputation the uni would get if she becomes the exception to the rule and get the permission to attend despite her age.

And all that seemed to convince the dean.

Y/N was allowed to attend Jason’s course.

And that meant more time spend together.

***

“I almost forgot. I got your essays graded.” He stated one Tuesday evening almost ending the lecture,  holding a bunch of sheets of paper in his hands and waving it around “as usual, most of you should have read between the lines, but apart from that it’s better than before. I see some progress to some of you.” He started walking around, giving the papers to the students.

Was it her imagination again or did he really brushed over her shoulder while passing her? If it was a dream she didn’t want to wake up, feeling that familiar aching in her body. God! She was still at class, acting like a horny teenager! About the teacher! That was completely inappropriate!

“That would be all for today.” Jason stated “class dismissed.”

“But….” She objected. She didn’t get hers back.

“As for you miss Y/L/N….” he trailed, waiting till everyone left  “We need to talk about your thesis. But we’re gonna need the library to prove the point. Meet me there in half an hour, all right? Take your coat with you, the night is going to be cold.”

“but…. But it’s like 8 p.m.” she frowned “I thought the library was closing at 7?”

“I got a special pass. Now go, Y/N.”

Something was telling her that this was not going to be about her writing. And she couldn't wait to discover the double meaning.

[criticalperi0d]

Cuéntame el final feliz

The weather is cold, and so is my heart right now. I want to feel warm, and I can do it if I do the right actions, I can grab a couple of blankets, cover myself. I try to convince myself that I will be alright, and I probably most definitely will, but for now, I miss you. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. It’s so silly don´t you think? We haven’t even been in each other’s lives that long, and still, you have been in my mind since last June, on and off, on and off. We will be okay, I hope and I know we will be, I still pathetically hope maybe we’ll meet again, foolish I know, I just really like you still, like, you are all I think about and I am not ashamed to admit it, everything is temporary, and it will end, eventually. I´m just mourning right now, I can´t believe I got on the highest and scariest ride at the local fair just because you were very excited to get on it, or how that man left us on our heads for 40 seconds on a different ride, GOD! I was so afraid, but so happy to be there with you. A friend of mine was telling me the other day that I get excited very easily and quickly when I’m dating someone new, and I shouldn’t, but that’s just the way I am, it is what makes me me. I don´t regret it, besides, for your information when I like someone I don´t act like that, truly, I felt trust being myself with you because we had already talked last June. I don´t know, I wish things could have been different, but I know they weren´t. I also know you´re probably not reading this, and if you were, yes, I am writing on my computer, and I will continue to do so, because I’m too lazy to grab a pen and a piece of paper, my ideas flow better this way, but you already know that. All of this to say, I don´t hold any grudge against you. This may be perceived as pathetic, I don´t care to be honest, I mean I care enough to say that I don´t, but I will still post this. Human connection is so interesting, I met you in the summer and in the winter, two polar opposites, I felt the anger and passion in the summer, and I feel the sadness and detachment this cold winter, because when the time was right we couldn´t hold it down.

Everything happens for a reason, who knows what could have happened if we had gone on that date to the art gallery last July, but it didn´t happen, we got angry with each other, maybe, I did overreact, well, I definitely did overreact. We already talked about that. We went on to become different people, I became the person you wanted back then, and you became the kind of person that I don´t want now. You are still you, which is why I can´t stop liking you right now, but we´re not in the same page. It is nobody’s fault, we both know that, which makes this worse! There’s nothing else to do other than move on, AND, I am trying my hardest to do so, for real I swear even if whoever is reading this thinks the contrary. I don’t even know what to say, I feel sad. This sadness will end, it will end, it will finish. Anyway, I don’t regret anything, not even the drunken most out of place kiss we shared, you left me flabbergasted, reconsidering my life and choices in the middle of the club, I was going through a crisis with a loved one, and all that my mind wanted to think about was that kiss, a war in my mind. I may be intense, yes, not even may, I am intense, and I don’t feel ashamed, I feel things on a deeper level, and the people who love me know that, and I think they still love and like me, I think. Does this text make sense? I am continuing to live my life, and I keep my head busy, and while I do that I mourn, I mourn, and I mourn.

But mourning isn’t something eternal, I have gotten through the worst heartbreak of my life, and I have lived long enough to make amends with the person who broke my heart, and I can say I still have love in my heart for her, not romantic love, but it evolved into something else with no romantic connotation whatsoever, so, I know things get better, and that all the darkness will see the light of day someday, don’t know when but it will. Time will heal, can someone tell it to hurry up?

[marthasjourneys]

Rome Holidays

Hi, I´m Martha. I am 39 springs by now and I work as an independent Design Architect. My projects comprehend Industrial and Landscape Design. I am a bit lost in thought person, but I´m happy as I don´t harm anyone when I´m in my cloud. I love what I do for living, I think it promotes wellbeing of everyone and it is really satisfying when you help to improve other lives with your work. I think cultural exchange is a key asset in my profession and you can get advantage out of the smallest details. Happier society makes wellbeing radiate on every direction. I love to travel, get to know new places and people, see how they do their everyday life and learn out from that.

A friend of mine does exactly the same; she travels around the world to discover new social projects in other countries. The last time I saw Bianca, I had gone to Rome for a few days to rest and enjoy the Eternal City…

…I was about to land in Rome, and I thought to myself WOW! I´m visiting Rome…then my private cloud arouse in my mind and I started to dream awaken, I could even see Gregory Peck waiting for me in his motorbike at the exit, to give me a ride to Trastevere, Piazza Navona, Fontana di Trevi, uh!…

What travel agents don´t tell you is how Italian guys are for real…in their field…whenever they see a single lady on vacation, on her own, quietly spending some time at the beach while enjoying some days off happily…

I made my booking on an apartment located next to Fratochi, on the coast and next to Rome. The first thing you need to know if you travel under these circumstances, is, that there is no possibility of hanging out with yourself on a nice walk along the shore, for instance, because you end up glued with every single men about speaking up to you as you walk by while you are lost in your private cloud and dreamy thoughts…and then you hear one saying “Ciao Bella!” (At this moment you think to yourself, “I am not interested on your flirting verses man, who asked you?”). The worst part comes when he starts to walk along the shore with you without any type of invitation (I guess he self-invited himself, and that was enough for him…in his mind…), after a few minutes he broke my freezing silence with “Sei Bella come il Sole!” “…Humm, should I fake a forced smile or give him a finger? I´m not quite sure”. I may have given him a finger, since it is an international sign. I´m sure he had stopped if I had done that. “Maybe if I tell him that I have a boyfriend he´ll get discouraged and will probably leave”, wrong thought! That was a very bad idea as he didn´t care at all and kept walking by my side like a lifeguard as if somebody had asked him to protect my life no matter what.

Notice to sailors: Please be careful with Italian beach single-men! They are heavily armed with verbal glue and it is next to impossible to get rid of them!

After my walk along the shore I managed to find a spot on the sand, among balloons, chairs, umbrellas and coolers. Yes Italian people move in a block and it can adopt the shape of a family or a group of friends. While lying at sun, I got to observe that this beachy harassment wasn´t only practiced on me, they did it with any women that dare to walk along the shore on her own. “Humm, maybe this is why Italian ladies walk in big groups, but, I thought that those big groups of women were rugby teams spending the day at the beach, what a sporty people!”…no, after a detailed observation I figured out that, this Turtle-Group formation acted as a defensive shield against this sticky type of guys.

Another thing to have in mind when you travel to another country is language. Italian can get you in trouble if you pronounce it wrong. One of those days I was visiting ancient temples, churches and cute neighbourhoods in the centre.  After a while, with a city plan in one hand a  bottle of water on the other and my sporty shoes on, I couldn´t find this precise church, so after walking in circles for a while (streets in Rome can get quite confusing), I decided to ask a police man. This guy was very well uniformed and he was quite handsome as well, then, I got next to home and asked: “Scuzi, Il Uomo per favore?” All of the sudden he put himself into the straightest position he could find, and inflated his chest like a lot to me…like saying with his body language, “You have it in front of you”.

At the beginning, I quite didn´t understand this gesture, so I marked on the map the Church I wanted to visit with my index finger and then he looked at me and said “Oh Il Duomo! “, “Prego” I told him, and he showed me the way.  I thanked him for that again and kept going. When I was heading this Duomo (hard to remember the name, there are around 300 churches in one cubic kilometre in Rome…), I noticed I had pronounced Duomo wrong. “Then what did I say?” “Uomo means man in Italian Martha” I said to myself. He must have thought I wanted to flirt with him, oh nonono! I felt really bad for that.

One of those evenings I hanged out with Bianca, we wanted to have a gin tonic so we searched for a quiet place so we could speak. Unfortunately lounge beach bars in that part of the city weren´t the fanciest. Those were located somewhere else, so we adapted to circumstances and went to a regular terrace bar nearby.

We arrived, Bianca asked for a couple of gin tonics and we started chatting. The amazing event came when five minutes after, when a couple of guys arrived and guess what? They sat on our table without asking!!! I went crossed-eyed when I say how daring these guys were acting trying to make up a conversation out of nowhere…so I looked at my friend like trying to understand what was going on. Then I looked back at the boys, I looked at our gin tonics about to be drunk and back at the guys again…but they didn´t get the visual warning at all to my misfortune. Bianca dismissed them and we could then keep chatting for a few more minutes. I asked Bianca “Is this normal?”, “Well, if they see two women hanging out on their own Italian men keep sitting in your table until you say yes to anybody, they are that way”. “What???” I thought to myself. At that precise moment I went squinting at 180 degrees, one eye pointing at the Coliseum and the other to the Roman Forum. My face of unjustly invaded country said it all. Then she said, “Don´t worry we can go for a walk at the beach afterwards”. I felt shivers all over my spine when I heard this.

Another two couple of guys went over our table each one with the same style and manners as the previous. Since they weren´t very creative, Bianca dismissed them as if we were in a fish market store. I couldn´t give credit for what I was living, but at last we were finishing out gin tonics and Anzio battle was about to end.

At nearly 50 mililiters of ending our drinks, three guys remained seated on our table. One of them, I don´t know, but he looked rarely nervous and uncomfortable with the world to me. We asked them “Where are you from?” and they said, “we (two of them) are from Sicilia, and he (pointing at our I can´t stay-still guy) is from Napoli. This was the cherry that gave the final touch to our girlfriend soirée. “Great! We have invited the Rivolta Italiana New Generations (RING from now on) to have a seat in our table, Cool!” (I bet this guy tries his own cargo before distributing, his behaviour is not normal at all!).

After a concise chat with our RING guys, we left the terrace-bar. These Three Napoli Musketeers decided to start walking alongside us without being invited (this time on the street). Then the man under a nervous attack started saying something about a cornetto. Since I didn´t speak Italian that well and my idea of Cornetto was an Ice Cream (there is an ice cream with that name in my country, this is why I thought of an ice cream…). I thought oh, yes, an ice cream would be nice, why not? My eyeballs went back a couple of times in a row when I saw what a cornetto was…as this nervous guy handed me a recently baked warm croissant…you can imagine how stuck that got in my throat, with nothing to drink along…

I came back to my apartment by walk after saying goodbye to these Three Italian Musketeers with an Italian let down way flavour. They changed me the Dance-after-a-drink for a Goodnight Croissant, No Way!!!

This is the first and the last time this happens to me, I can assure to myself. After this treacherous and bumpy evening, Bianca and I managed to hang out successfully after that event, on our own, and had a nice long chat, on our own as well. At least I have one thing clear. The next time I go to Italy, I´m bringing my translator and a bunch of girlfriends to walk peacefully on along the shore.

Thanks for reading, Martha.

[stories-of-the-strange]

Too Deep

Story submitted by Ryan Butler on December 4th, 2004.

I do not know what happened. I do not know what I saw. I´m not even sure where to start. But I have to start somewhere.

It happened on the 20th of July, 2004. I had been visiting my cousin Jake Shaw in London for a week. Even before I landed in England, he had been begging me to join him for some urban exploration. Now, I was only going to be in England for a week, and didn´t fancy getting into trouble with the authorities during it. Though he had assured me that it could be perfectly legal as long as we were careful and didn´t damage or steal anything, I had to raise an eyebrow at the „could“ part of his statement, to which he simply gave me a smug grin and a shrug.

I, by my standards politely, refused his offers, which I had to do at every opportunity. On my third day in England I even started actively pretending to be doing something at all times so I wouldn´t seem bored, to prevent him from trying to pull me into a manhole or closed-down shop of one kind or another. But, after touring the more famous and well-respected sites to be found in London, I was running out of alternatives. And I was scheduled to leave on the 22nd, so it was inevitable that he would eventually succeed.

The inevitable came at about 8 PM, at the Auld Shillelagh. I need to preface everything I will say from now on with this: Neither of us were drunk. Sure, we had a few drinks, but both of us could handle them. And, even in the worst possible scenario, there is no way I was drunk enough to imagine all of what I saw and not trip and fall in the underground. So no, we weren´t sober, but neither of us was drunk either.

So, after a few drinks and rounds of darts, Jake made a bet with me. If he scores better than me in the next five rounds, we are going to the Stockwell tube station, and if he doesn´t, drinks are on him for the rest of the night. Now, though I wasn´t particularly enthused with urban exploration I didn´t see it as the worst possible end to the night, especially after a few drinks to change my mind a bit, and I was willing to risk it for a night of free alcohol and making my cousin mad.

Suffice it to say that by three rounds I was already putting on my jacket, and cursing myself under my breath. We went by car, and got to the station at about 9:10 if I remember correctly.

I asked him what it was he wanted to show me, and he told me that there was an air raid shelter under the station. And that he knew a way into it. I told him to show me the way, but I was only told to wait for the metro. I half-sarcastically laughed at the idea of the metro simply taking us there, but he seemed to ignore it. Soon after the metro arrived, and neither of us got on. It left and I was just about to ask him what the point of this was when he broke into a sprint down the tunnel after it and yelled at me to follow.

I was obviously confused, but ran after him if only to drag him back after I caught him. I only caught up after he took a turn and stopped. I was starting to berate him for his risking of both our lives hoping a train wouldn´t run us over, but he remained uncharacteristically calm and started walking down the tracks, telling me that from now on I didn´t have to worry. That this place isn´t on any map, and that no trains actually go here. I inspected the tracks under flashlight slightly and his words appeared to ring true. The metal was obviously old and the wood was broken and moldy. That place couldn´t have been used or maintained in years.

I begrudgingly I asked him to show me the way, and, as smugly as ever, he obliged my request with an exaggarated bow. I told him exactly where he could stick his sass, and followed him down the wide, dark corridor of the metro.

Eventually, by my estimate maybe 600 feet down the tunnel, he came to an abrupt stop and shined his flashlight over to the left-hand wall. It was a hole. A curved metal hatch that had obviously been removed by force laid next to it. Inside there was the beginning of a metal ladder, stretching downwards.

I was about to return his sass and ask him to go down when he moved the light slightly upwards, and told me to look. There was text, crudely scrawled on with white chalk. „The tunnels are full.“ He said that hadn´t been there before, and to be careful since we may not be alone down there.

I was about to suggest turning around and leaving, but the tone of his voice as he asked me what I was waiting for assured me that there was no way he was coming with me. So if there was something to worry about, I would be abandoning him to it. I wasn´t abandoning my little cousin to get shanked by some thug in the London underground, so I climbed down after him. The tunnels in the shelter were similar to the underground, though in better condition and wider. Though I didn´t have very high expectations, and what happened later still haunts my dreams sometimes, I must admit. There was something special and almost hauntingly beautiful about that shelter.

We walked along, careful to keep our voices only at a whispering level so as to not provoke any potential unwanted attention beyond the any we would have purely by keeping the flashlights on, and eventually came across a set of what appeared to be bunk bedframes, knocked onto the floor.

Jake immediately ran over to inspect them, and excitedly waved me over to look at something. It was another hole. But this one wasn´t cleanly built, nor did it ever have a door. The metal supporting the tunnel was bent and torn away from the center of the hole, and the ground in front of it was covered in metal and concrete debris. It was huge. Easily big enough to fit a human comfortably. And the strangest thing about it was that it lead somewhere. Another tunnel. This one wasn´t anywhere near as wide as the one we were in, and had angular sides. It wasn´t so much a tunnel as a hallway now that I think about it.

Of course Jake was inside before I could protest, and of course, I had to follow him. This time I did say something, however I am not sure he even considered it before calling me a buzzkill and a coward. To put it in more gentlemanly words.

So, on we marched. The hallway went on for maybe 150 feet before coming to an abrupt turn. It was there that I noticed something. The walls were progressively getting rougher, and more beige in colour compared to the concrete grey of the beginning. But there was something Jake noticed that I hadn´t. The upper corners of the walls seemed to have some sort of symbols carved into them.

Neither of us could make any of them out properly, but they were there, and clearly very, very old. They almost seemed to be older than the shelter. But how? The metro was older, sure, but there was no reason either of us could think of for why there would be a smaller tunnel so deep below it. And the „entrance“ to it… it almost looked like a bomb went off. I started getting very, very worried. I mean, what if there were terrorists down there? We started arguing about these questions, and soon enough forgot to keep our voice down to a whisper. At that point he just told me to shut up, since if there were any terrorists down there, there was no way they hadn´t noticed us waving flashlights and borderline shouting at eachother by now.

He seemed just about convinced that we should leave, when something down the hallway caught his attention. Light. Orange and slightly flickering. And I felt physical pain knowing he wanted to go see it. So we made a deal. We were going to go outside, and wait for 5 minutes. If nobody came to check for us, we would continue. If somebody did, we at least had a chance of making it out alive.

The minutes passed painfully slowly in that place. I was more on edge than I had been in my entire life. Waiting for footsteps. The static of a walkie-talkie. A voice. Anything. And prepared to run for my life if anything came. But nothing did. I hated the fact I didn´t just push more and get out of that place. But I made a bet, and lost. Again. I could have lived my entire life not knowing about that thing, but no, I had to make a stupid bet.

So we continued on down the hallway. It was exceedingly long, almost a mile by my guess. A mile-long, straight hallway, with no turns. The walls kept getting less and less concrete like, and the light kept getting closer. Until I eventually realized something. It was sandstone. We checked the corners and it wasn´t blocks of sandstone either. We were inside a massive sandstone monolith.

The symbols also became clearer. Neither of us could read them, but who couldn´t recognize Egyptian hieroglyphs when they see them? I have never believed in ghost stories. Even when I was down there, inside of a massive, 70-years-old, sandstone structure under god-damn London of all places, I was convinced that there was some sort of explanation. I had no idea what that explanation was, but I was determined that everything here was natural. Not normal, but natural.

Isn´t it funny how far your brain will sometimes go to deceive itself into thinking you have any amount of control?

We were very close to the end, so I took a good, long swig of whiskey to steel my nerves and keep me from thinking about it too much, and pressed on. As we approached the light, we realized it was a room, with something in the center of it. We stepped inside. The room wasn´t too large, maybe 12 by 15 feet, and illuminated by countless candles at the bases of the walls.

But most importantly, the thing in the center was a solid block of sandstone, with a person laying on it. They appeared horribly malnourished except for their gut, which was swollen and bulbous. Upon closer inspection we realized they were a woman. Or maybe, had been, a woman, once. Her head wasn´t human. It was like one of those shrunken heads you see, but, from a dog or a crocodile, it was hard to tell, that had been sown onto where her head had once been. Both of us were now convinced we wanted to leave, and started backing away.

And then she began to moan. Her, or, it´s mouth didn´t open, but it moaned all the same. Not in pain mind you. It almost sounded like singing. Her stick-thin limbs began to thrash around and I could see it´s bloated stomach begin to… churn or squirm. I have no idea how else to describe it. We both started screaming at eachother to do something, and were just about to run when she… began to give birth.

A rolling tide of hundreds of tiny, black bodies, iridescent in the candlelight poured out of her. And I ran faster than I believed possible. I was out of breath by the time we reached the ladder, and, as much as I hate to admit it, I didn´t even check if Jake was with me before I started to climb. I made it up, and to my relief, he was right behind me.

We slammed the door behind us and caught our breaths. I remember Jake burst out laughing. After a few seconds I did too. We both laid there on those abandoned traintracks and laughed our asses off. Tears ran down my face as I did. Not sure about him.

We didn´t speak much after that. I left on schedule and got back home. Soon after he started texting me again. Saying that he thought we should go back. To figure out what happened. I told him very clearly and impolitely I had no interest in knowing any more about what happened than I already did. But then he started saying that he had went without me. Every time he updated me on his latest „expedition“ I tried to convince him to quit. But he never did. Eventually I stopped responding to him. If he wanted to get himself killed it was no longer my problem. On the 25th of August he texted me a single sentence.

„Do as you will, I have found Him.“

Two days later his mother called me. Apparently he had gone missing. Still is. I am not coming back to England.

[daidoruyume]

Chapter 5 Busy mind

Kaho was coming tonight, since the concert was tomorrow. I couldn’ let her stay in a hotel, and I had a pretty comfortable sofa that turned into a even more comfortable bed! Knowing about my sexuality, my parents often asked me if there was something going on between us, but I couldn’t see her that way. It just didn’t make sense. 

 I organized my little apartment so it would be a less messy experience for her, but I needed to organize my head too. From a young age, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, so I went to see a psychologist and a psychiatrist frequently. That time, though, I needed to talk about those dreams… I had a lot of different dreams, nightmares, and things in between, and I had dreamed with Miyuu before, but never something that seemed so deep. I felt like there was more to it. But I couldn’t get any answers from simply pondering. The response I got was how to deal with my emotions after those dreams. What to do if I cried. My psychologist, Hanae-san, knew me pretty well. Simply stopping to stan midnight or Miyuu was NOT an option. I needed to be brave. And I was going to be. 

 The day went by pretty fast, and I stopped to read something while I waited for Kaho in the train station. I don’t know why, but I needed some melancholy, so I read ‘Maihime’, only to feel bad for Elise, it was, like, something I read so, but so many times, being one of my dad’s favorite pieces. It didn’t take longer for my friend to show up, and we headed to have some dinner. She had brought only a backpack with changes of clothes and some midnight merch. 

 “So, I’ve been dreaming a lot with Miyuu recently…” I said with what I suppose was a pitiful tone.

“Isn’t that good?” 

“Well… the dreams are all sappy… we’re having fun, but something bad breaks us apart. Or it’s so happy that I wake up sad because it’s not real.”

“Gee… like, I’ve always thought, Yuu-chan, that dreams are like this other reality you go to… that you actually live these things. It’s something I have believed in since I was a child. Like… you know when you feel those thrills? It’s not impossible that something like this happens, you know?”

“I never thought about it that way… I always thought of dreams as more… organic thing. Like a response your brain gives you about your wants, needs, hopes… and fears.” 

“Couldn’t it be both?” That really made me think. I said she was right, and took a sip of my soft drink. I decided to scrap the idea of that conversation and talk about our expectations over the concert… I was so, but so excited. Kaho felt the same. I was really happy I could relate to someone that bad. We barely slept that night, sharing sweets and watching midnight’s music videos. We had so much fun that I didn’t even recall the dream I had. 

 ☆☆☆

 We woke up kind of late, but we still decided on having breakfast, which we cooked together. It was really fun and delicious. We ignored my neighbors and started playing midnight’s discography. It made me get more and more excited for the concert. We left for lunch, but came back later to get ready. Of course, we used their official merch! We decided to go twinning, with black, pleated skirts, but we each wore T-shirts of our oshis. We grabbed our penlights, our IDs, some cash, water bottles and photocards (to put in our special keychains that had decorated pc holders). I could barely contain myself, and it wasn’t the first time we went to a concert! I should be a pro already… but my heart was beating fast. I wanted to see Miyuu, I wanted to yell “Da-i-su-ki!” during the chorus of my favorite song of theirs “Moonlight Monogatari”, and then I wanted to hold hands with her during our meet and greet session… I wanted to scream from the top of my lungs and from the bottom of my heart, I wanted to jump, laugh during their MCs, and cry during their most emotional songs. I wanted to enjoy it to the fullest, alongside my best friend.

[running-with-kn1ves]

Punishment

Male! Yandere x GN! Reader

A/N: Wrote this in a frenzy. I wanted to wait to post it till a little later but couldn"t help myself;; Also my ko-fi is open for anyone who wants a specific halloween idea~~ ToT

TW: NSFW!!, exhibitionism/public sex (unknowing friend on video call), dub-con, yandere themes, GN reader(described as having a 'hole'), genitals, jealousy, creampie, degredation, sex as punishment, biting, fingernails in skin, use of the word ‘manhood’

Synopsis: your boyfriend has decided to punish you for neglecting him while you're on call with a friend. 

"S-so you're coming down on the 15th?" You asked, albeit shakily.

"Yup!" Your friend replied. "Got my stuff packed and ready." 

You tried to focus on their words as you stared at them through the camera, watching as they multi-tasked while talking to you. You thanked the skies that they were too busy cleaning and writing things down to notice what was happening on your end of the chat. 

You tried to turn the camera at a different angle, cutting most of your face and body out of view. 

"Don't you dare," the voice growled behind you, huffing in your ear. "Keep it positioned, where it fucking was."

You whined with frustration, only loud enough for the voice to hear. Frowning, you slowly put the phone back and gripped it rigidly. 

"It's going to show too much!" You whispered back.

"Hey, are you still there?" Your friend asked. 

"Y-yeah, I'm still here!" You waved to the camera as they turned to look at you. For a moment they looked suspicious, lifting an eyebrow. You felt your stomach sink, wondering if they saw the man behind your figure, his hips slowly moving. 

But your friend soon returned to normal, facing away from the camera as they ranted on about their future traveling plans. You tried to mumble small 'mhm's' and 'yeahs' while keeping your moans at bay, but the struggle proved harder than you thought. 

The man behind you forced his thick cock to slide in and out of you at an even pace, having done so ever since you started your video chat with your friend. 

Your demanding boyfriend insisted you service him as payback for having neglected him for days. Which of course, wasn't really true, but you knew his jealousy knew no bounds when it came to you spending “long periods of time” with others. But before you could satisfy him, your phone began to ring. 

You looked at him with pleading eyes, begging him to let you take this one call. And to your surprise, he allowed it. But not before bending you over the kitchen counter. 

"Answer it." He said, pulling your shorts down and your knees apart.

You panicked, saying you'd rather not answer it at all if you had to do that at the same time! But your boyfriend didn’t give you a choice. 

So now here you were, on the brink of orgasming while on a video call, desperately trying to keep your boyfriend out of view. 

You saw your body rock back and forth in the camera, your eyes beginning to glaze over as your boyfriend thrusted deeper into you. He had been painfully slow, purposely drawing out your pleasure to make it harder for you to see straight. The squelches of his cock inside of you were beginning to grow louder, and you feared how audible they might’ve been on the other side of the phonecall. But your friend was too busy chatting away, barely noticing how you were letting out jagged breaths and sweet noises. 

Your underwear and pants were pulled down to your ankles, the fabric gathering slick that would have otherwise dripped to the tile floor. You heard your boyfriend’s belt buckle jingle every time he pushed into you, moving his hips in a circle to grind against your sweet spot. Your little hole couldn’t take much more of his teasing, having faced this torture too many times. And you knew it was only going to get worse; it wasn't like you could stop him without exposing what was going on. You just hoped your friend would hang up soon. 

Your boyfriend gripped your hips, giving a light spank to your hip as he moaned noisily. Purposefully. You looked back at him alarmed, desperately staring at him with wide eyes and squirming legs.

‘Please!’ You mouthed, your ass stuck out in his view.

But all he did was grin, sliding his tongue over his teeth as he pulled out of you. You sighed in relief as you heard that final wet noise of his exit, hoping that his deep but slow thrusts had been enough to get him off. But as he grabbed your hair firmly, pulling your head back, you knew you spoke too soon.

With his cock waiting he tried to lift your shirt up, pushing it to your armpits. But you held your ground, knowing you’d for sure get caught if you let him do as he pleased.

He gave another smack to your skin as you turned around to look at him. You shook your head no, biting your cheek as you mouthed ‘later’. 

 "We can do it later!" you pleaded with a yell-whisper. 

Your boyfriend didn’t seem to like that. He yanked at your shirt with a harsh grunt, nearly tearing the fabric. 

“Don’t tell me what to fucking do.” He grumbled, pinching your ass hard enough to make you wince. 

But you tried to ignore him, laughing with your friend when they laughed, trying to keep up with the conversation as you felt your sex grow cold from how bare it was. Yet the chilly air fanning it didn’t last long. 

Your boyfriend pulled your ass out farther, knocking you onto your elbows on the counter. You had managed to hold yourself up pretty well before but the forced position startled you. 

“You okay?” Your friend asked. 

“Yeah,” You lied through your teeth. “Just a little light headed, what were you saying?” 

Your friend carried on, while your heart began to race. His cock was pushed into you again, but this time it entered you at rapid speed. He bottomed out inside of you as your hips were wrenched backward. Your boyfriend began to quicken, pumping into you as if his life depended on it. The moist sounds of arousal wettening your hole got louder, your body beginning to shake as he violently molded you fit his manhood. 

His hips slammed against your bottom at a rapid pace, sliding himself in and out of you at the definition of rough and fast. Even if you weren’t shaking from pleasure, your body would be moving just from his assault alone. Before, his dick had brushed your sweet spot; enough to get you going, but nothing like this. Now, he was abusing it, making sure to thrust at an upwards angle: just how he knew you like it. 

His grunts and open-mouthed moans were getting louder. In fact, too loud.

“Please--” You inhaled sharply, eyes nearly rolling back. “Keep going… quiet--”

“You want me to keep going?” He laughed, nails digging into your flesh. “You really are a slut, letting me fuck you in front of someone else like this. I didn’t know you were so dirty.” He let out a low, shakey groan, having thrusted exceptionally well this time.  

You whined, trying to keep up your responses with your friend as you felt him grind harder inside you. You wanted him to stop, but at the same time you couldn’t imagine letting this pleasure escape. 

“Oh who am I kidding, you’ve always... hah... liked getting fucked silly by me…--!” He leaned down next to your ear, finally in shot of the camera. 

You clenched the counter tops as he purposely made himself visible. 

“Hey,” He said out of breath, acknowledging your friend. 

“Hey back!” Your friend replied, beginning to ask questions now that your boyfriend was here. You couldn’t concentrate, though. With the feeling of his dick pumping into you, you could only lay your head on the countertops as he kept thrusting.

You knew your movements were visible in the camera, you just hoped your friend didn’t suspect the truth.

Your boyfriend laughed normally, making jokes as if he wasn’t rearranging your guts in the kitchen right now. His chest was pressed against your back, neck slick with sweat as he kept pounding into you. 

“Isn’t that right, sweetheart?” Your boyfriend asked. You hadn’t heard a word he said. He looked at you expectantly, purposely and aggressively making a deeper dent inside of you this time. You looked up, feeling so full as he kept trying to push you past your limits; he was just waiting for you to slip up. Your mouth sat agape as you tried to respond as fast as possible. 

“M-mhm!” You could hardly suppress the moan that came out at the same time. You were about to cum; but knew you couldn’t, not yet. 

Thankfully, your boyfriend moved out and away from the camera under the guise of doing something else. 

“Well, I’ve gotta finish packing. But it was good talking to you,” Your friend cheerily said, turning to face you. You tried to return to normal, ignoring the sweat on your forehead and the fucked out look you had in your eyes. You smiled fakely at them, responding back with a quivering voice. 

“Yeah--uh.. I’ll talk to you when.. When you get here then.” You tried to not sound too out of breath, but it was no easy feat as your boyfriend was creating pornographic sounds behind you. “I-I’ve gotta get back to cooking!” You covered, acting as if the things near you needed fixing. 

“Alright, well. Talk to you later!” 

“Y-yeah, you t-too!” You said, your boyfriend chiming in with his own breathy goodbye as he came up close to you again. His hips were clearly pressed against yours, fucking you up against the cabinets, but your friend ended the call before you could panic about it.  

Once the call ended, you shut your phone off and threw it across the counter. You wouldn’t dare have your phone ring around him again; at least not for a while, lest this instance repeat itself.

But once your friend was no longer an issue, your boyfriend only got worse.

“Oh, fuck--!” He sucked in air through his teeth as he pulled your hips back again. He had slowed down momentarily, distracted by entertaining your friend and teasing you to blow your cover, but now his pace had altered. 

He was slamming into you, moans perfectly aligned with when his cock hit your special, spongy spot. You in turn let out your own quiet mewls; it still felt wrong to voice your pleasure even with the extra company now gone. 

“See what happens when you ignore me?” He gritted his teeth, calloused hands grabbing your thighs to meet his movements. “See what happens when you hang out with your friends more than me? They have to watch you get your brains fucked out.”

You let out a pained moan as he raked his hands down your chest under your shirt. Your thighs were a mess, covered in precum and sweat as he lifted one of your legs to get deeper access. 

“Now tell me who you belong to, who’s going to get to see you cum?” He bit your neck, turning you sideways as you leaned against the counter for support. “Who’s going to get to see you all pretty and fucked out, over and over again until you learn your lesson?” 

You felt yourself so close, the coil in your stomach burning and tightening. You let out sweet little ‘oh’s’ as you tried to respond. 

“Y-you. You are.” it was hard not to grow ashamed of your response, but the high that was oh so close, felt worth it.

 Little did you know, you had just sealed your fate. 

“That’s right, my little slut. Fuck, you feel…so good." His fingernails began to dig into your flesh. "And you aren’t going anywhere.” 

The grip holding your thigh up and the other on your stomach brought an unexpectedly searing burn. 

You could hardly register the pain as he came inside of you. Squirts of thick cum coated your walls, your hole clenching around his cock and milking him perfectly. He thrusted erratically inside of you to ride out his sweet finish, moaning your name possessively as he held you close. He said your name over and over, each syllable getting more angry and territorial. 

Your skin began to bruise. You could feel the sharp stinging of his nails, your moans mixing with agonizing wails as he slowed his humping against you. But his hands didn’t stop, blood nearly being drawn by his sharp teeth clamped on your neck.

As your boyfriend slowed, cock still inside of you, he kissed your cheek with wet lips. He relished in the noises coming out of your closed mouth. You knew he was furious for your lack of attention towards him, but hadn’t expected him to take it this far. At the same time, you knew what kind of man he was. You knew he was never going to let you off easy. You just hoped that you could get back into his good graces without too many wounds.

“Ready for punishment number two?” He asked, soaking up the look of fear and tears in your eyes. 

[yandere-daze]

OMG I JUST READ THE MAGICIAN POST AND SAW THE LITTLE THEY DON'T KNOW Y/NS WEARING MY CLOTHES THING AND THOUGHT WHAT IF AMIR WEARS Y)NS CLOTHES INSTEAD!?!!????!

Like Maybe he could sleep over or something and borrow their clothes or the classic "it's raining let me lend you my coat" type scenario or he borrows their clothes because his are soaked by rain ASGFECJJZXFDEKL

Also to expand on y/n giving their coat to him maybe they see he likes it so much they kinda just let him keep it and say something cute like "you just look so cute in my coat". Also the coats a bit bigger on him since y/ns a bit taller AFFSRHBSSDLSKAS. Sorry if this was too long or didn't make since feel free to ignore this I just really wanted to ramble about amir with his darling. <3

OOOH that´s such a big-brained idea I love it!!!

gn reader

tw yandere, obsession

Amir wearing your clothes

Amir wearing your clothes has become such a regular thing by now that it´s sort of hard to remember how it all started. It was on an evening after you two had spent the day together, maybe watching a movie at the local cinema. It´s something they had never done before so in their anticipation and excitement, Amir hadn´t remembered to bring a coat with them in case it got chilly later on

And so, as you two stepped out of the warm cinema and into the cold night air, he couldn´t help but feel a little cold. Not wanting to worry or bother you, he doesn´t tell you of this fact. You were still excitedly rambling about the movie the two of you had just seen, recounting some of your favorite scenes, that he couldn´t bring himself to interrupt you

So he did the only thing he could to try and stop the cold from spreading across his body ( in hindsight wearing a crop-top was probably not the best idea) and wrapped his arms around his midriff to stay warm. It was still cold but a bit more manageable

You of course were quick to notice this and almost immediately realized what was going on

“Are you cold, Amir?”

He in turn timidly shook his head, trying to deny it so as to not worry you, when his body betrayed him by shivering right as he was about to say something

You merely shook your head and shrugged off the coat you were wearing.

“ There´s no reason to lie when you´re not feeling good. Here, you can have my coat. I´m not feeling too cold myself.”

They hesitate a bit, glancing up at your face to make sure it truly was okay with you but when he saw the reassuring smile on your face, urging them to take the coat, he relented and took it from you

His hands were trembling, not from the cold this time but rather the ecstasy he felt from holding something that you had worn before. You had so graciously offered him something precious like this, he almost couldn´t believe it! Was he really worthy of wearing something that belonged to you?

Well, they also belonged to you so maybe Amir could take this as a sign that you were trying to claim them as your own? If that was the case then they would not be able to refuse you! They want nothing more than to be yours so they enthusiastically put on your coat

Immediately they feel warmer but it´s questionable if it´s only from the coat itself or the fuzzy feeling that is slowly spreading inside their body. Immediately they feel comforted

Hah, they can even smell your scent on this! He tries not to be too obvious when he inhales deeply to be fully surrounded by your scent

There´s definitely a pink flush to his cheeks as he meekly thanks you for your help

“Don´t worry, it´s no big deal. Actually, you can keep it. You look very cute wearing my coat like that”

If their cheeks were red before then you can´t compare it to how they look right now. You called them cute! Their heart feels so full and they can´t stop smiling the entire way home. They´re so happy!

[emf005]

I'm Trying

Here is my weekly post! I hope you guys enjoy, this is a personal fave of mine. Please let me know what you think of it! I love to get feedback!

Marauders Era

Sirius Black x Fem! Reader, Remus x Twin sister! Reader. Marauders x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, mini make out sesh, sort of self harm, fear

You stole a piece of chocolate from your stash. You always had a secret stash in case you brother, Remus, ever ran out before the full moon. But you also had a bit of a sweet tooth yourself. Well, you could call it more than that actually. See, while your brother was a full werewolf, you were about half, but he didn’t know that. If he knew that he would actually lose it. The only person who knew was Lily, and she had found out by accident.

So, while your brother would always turn into a werewolf on full moons, you only sometimes did. You also got mood swings to the max. But no one ever questioned it because they assumed it was just girl stuff. And the four boys you hung out with, no matter how close you were, didn’t really want to strike up a conversation about that. Ever.

You see, your turning started your second year at Hogwarts. You woke in the forbidden Forest feeling like you had been hit with a ten ton bus. You put two and two together and started to ask Lily’s friend, Severus, if he could brew you a potion in secret. So I guess you could say two people knew. But it wasn’t like Severus would tell on you. You were always nicer to him than your friends were and he seemed to appreciate that. So, he always made you a potion while slughorn made Remus his.

James often asked why you never joined them. While your brother couldn;t become an animagus, you could for some odd reason. You turned into a small black and white ferret, while your brother couldn;t change at all. You felt bad, it was your fault he was like this, and despite his countless times he had told you it wasn’t your fault you both knew it was. But everytime James would ask Remus would answer for you.

“I don;t want her out there. I’m her brother. It's my job to protect her. I wouldn;t be able to live with myself if I accidentally did something to her.” You always clenched your jaw at his response. He still saw you as a little kid, despite being his twin. You couldn’t stand it!

You never thought anyone noticed these secret feelings you held against your brother. Oh how you were wrong. Sirius Black always noticed when Remus would say something to upset you. And he was always the one there for you. See, despite his liking for it, he had caught feelings for you. He thought he could trample them by asking out every girl in the school, but that only seemed to make his want for you grow. But he never said anything. You were his best friend’s twin sister. It was just wrong, no matter how strongly he felt for you.

The full moon was coming up again soon, and you ran down the hall to see your brother and friends waiting for you. Remus looking in his bag frantically.

“Hey, guys!” You smiled with fake cheer. You felt awful today, but you couldn;t let anyone see that. They might grow suspicious of your secret. “What's wrong, Rem?”

“He didn’t restock his backpack again with chocolate.” Peter squeaked. Remus threw him a dirty glance before rooting through his bag again. You internally groaned. You always had a stash in your bag, and you really needed it today. But, you were his sister. Sacrifices must be made. You slung your bag around and grabbed your whole stash and filled his bag with it. You even let him finish the one you had been munching on, much to your disappointment.

“Thank you, Y/N/N,” he said, stuffing the chocolate bar in his mouth. You just smiled at him and put your head down and clutched your messenger bag harder. White knuckling the strap. God, you wanted to rip the chocolate out of his mouth and just eat it. But no. You were a fucking good sister. And a fucking good sister you would stay.

Classes were a pain all day, especially with the smell of chocolate enveloping you every time Remus would open a new package. You had broken four quills by lunch and they were all joking about it.

You all headed out of your final class and down to the great hall, like you normally did. BUt Remus seemed to be in an even worse mode. You were glad he had the chocolate, he might’ve actually murdered someone. You, on the other hand, were so close to murder, but you had to keep that damn smile on and your shirt pulled up high onto your shoulder tightly, despite the heat. That's where Greyback had gotten you. Just a nip on the shoulder before remus thought it was a good idea to attempt to hit him with a chair. Key word, attempt.

Remus was on the end of the line bsides you. Some slytherin accidently knocked into him and he let out a growl as he kept walking and talking to the Huffelpuff. Here we go.

“You got a problem?” He whipped around, staring at the boy clad in green robes. The boy looked at him confused. You recognize him. Your year, Jacob Jemesky. One of the cutest boys in your year. I mean, his eyes alone were perfect enough.

“I’m sorry?” He asked. You put a hand on Remus’s shoulder.

“Rem,” but he shook you off and walked up to the boy.

“I said, you got a problem, Snake?”Your eyes widened and you became red faced. You walked over to him and pulled him away from the Slytherin, shoving him to SIrius and James who held him back and tried to get hima away from the situation.

“I am so sorry about that, Jacob, right?” You nodded a smile on his lips.

“Yeah. And no worries. Your, Y/N, right?” You blushed slightly.

“Yeah. Its nice to finally meet you. We’ve shared a few classes I think.” He nodded before his eyes flashing back to your brother.

“Is he alright? I really didn’t mean to-”

“He’s fine. Trust me. He just gets moody from here and there. I think its like a twin thing between me and him, knowing when one is going to have a bad day and all.” He nodded.

“Well, I have to get going, but I’ll see you around, Y/N.” He waved and started to leave.

“See you around!” You waved back. Your smile dropped as soon as he turned the corner. You took a few deep breaths and walked over to your brother who was still trying to get out of James and Siris’ grips. “You two can let go now.” The boys did as you said but were ready to grab him at any second.

“What the hell was that for, Y/N?” He shouted at you, making your back straighten, ready to take it all. He just had to yell at someone sometimes, and the majority of the time it was you.

“He didn’t do it on purpose, Rem. You know that. You just need to calm down for a second, ok?”

“Calm down? I am calm!” James went to say something but you just shook your head at him. You weren’t going to let them take any of this heat.

“Rem, you're really not. Please just-”

“Don;t tell me what to do, Y/N! I am sick of you trying to constantly manage every little thing that I do. You can’t even begin to understand what I go through! You have no right to tell me to calm down. Or to tell me what I am and what I’m not. You know why? Because I am a fucking werewolf becuase of you,” every bit of air was sucked out of the empty corridor. Luckily empty. But he didn’t stop there. “I took that bite for you! We both know it was your fault! You were too naive to even think for a second that it wasn;t smart to go outside that early in the morning when the moon was still out! It was all yoru fucking fault! So don;t tell me what to do, or how to feel or any of that, because this is all happening because of you!”

You stood frozen as his breath calmed. You had tears slipping down your cheeks which was a strange sight for everyone in your friend group. Yo never cried. But hearing Remus admit that it was your fault, you couldn’t handle it anymore. The dam just broke. You swallowed, trying to get the lump in your throat away.

“Are you better, Remus?” He just stared at you, his eyes turning from rage to fear as he heard what he had said and how you referred to him as Remus and not Rem or bro or some stupid nickname you had given him. You smiled sadly and wiped a tear away. “I’m glad. I’m glad that finally admitting the truth makes you feel better.” You turned and started to walk down the hall only to stop and look over your shoulder. “You know. I just have to say this because I have for a while now. I have always tried my best to be there for you. Always tried to be patient. Always tried to take care of you when you wouldn’t let me do more. And also, I’m not the bloody moron who hit Fenrir Greyback with a chair and didn’t have the arm strength for it and ended up falling out a window!” You spit at him before walking down the hallway, tears streaming down your face at this point.

Remus opened his mouth to call after you, but he saw Sirius bolting after you instead. He had fucked up majorly. He knew it. James took him by the shoulder and directed him towards the Great Hall. James being the only one who knew of Sirius’ crush on you and knowing that Sirius would be able to calm you down better than any of them. And if he couldn’t, then Remus had just gotten himself into a deep deep deep hole.

You sat in the small alcove you had found your first year. It was in a secluded part of the courtyard, only your lily and Sirius knew about it. Which sucked because they knew exactly where to look for you.

Your head was in your knees and silent tears continued to pour down your face and on your knees. You didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know how to feel. You just didn’t know.

“Y/N?” You looked up to see Sirius standing by the entrance of the alcove. He had pushed aside the vines that hid you from view and was watching you, waiting to see what you would do. You sat up quickly and brushed the tears aside, smiling at him.

“Hey, Sirius,” your voice cracked and you cringed. He gave you a small pitiful smile and made you move over so he was sitting next to you. “Is he ok?”

“He will be,” you sighed and rubbed your hands over your face.

“I shouldn’t have stormed off. Or said any of that,” Sirius frowned.

“You know Moony is my best friend, but he started that argument.”

“Yeah but with the full moon coming up… he’s just on edge, and I know that. And he was right, I just didn’t expect him to say it like that. I over reacted.”

“You were just helping out a Slytherin, who you obviously like,” he hit your shoulder and you laughed, you felt your shirt fall down a bit off your shoulder but didn;t go to move it.

“I just find him attractive. That was the first time I've talked to him.” Sirius smiled through his pain and laughed with you. His eyes fell to your shoulder for a moment and he froze.

“Y/N/N, what happened?” He questioned looking at the small mark that the werewolf had left all those years ago. Your eyes widened and you quickly pulled your sleeve back up and cleared your throat standing.

“No-nothing. Um… I-I have to-to… uh.. To go. I’ll-I’ll see you, Sirius. Thank you,” you scurried out of alcove and dashed through the halls. You knew you couldn’t avoid him for long. I mean, the four of them had the marauders map, they would find you anywhere you went. You walked into the Great Hall, thankful to see Lily sitting by James. “Lily!” She looked over at you and her smile fell when she saw the state you were in. She excused herself and came running up to you, leading you out the Hall and to your room.

“Are you ok? James told me the blow out-”

“Sirius saw the scar,” you interrupted her. She froze.

“Does he know?” You shook your head.

“No. But I know he’s going to question me as soon as I’m alone. I just didn't want that to happen.”

“Not yet, you mean.”

“Ever.” She sighed, but didn’t push the subject. She was adamant that you should tell the boys about your… condition. You were adamant that you keep it to yourself, forever.. The fights between you and your twin would get worse, and you couldn’t let that happen.

Sirius walked into the Great Hall, scanning the Gryffindor table for you, he came up empty. He sat down, but kept searching the hall and glancing at the doors every now and then.

“What wrong, Mate?” James asked, taking a bite of his sandwich. Even Remus was eating, slowly, but eating.

“Nothing,” he mumbled and took a banana from the table. If you acted like that around him when he saw that scar, he could only imagine you didn’t want anyone else knowing about it. “Do you have the map?” James nodded and handed over the map from his pocket.

Quickly, Sirius unfolded it and searched for your name. You were in the girls dormitory with Lily. His leg started to bounce while he considered going after you. He could always ask Lily if he could have a second with you. He just wanted to make sure you were alright. You seemed really upset when you stormed out.

Had you always worn long sleeves of some sort?

He handed the map back to James before standing up and heading towards the Gryffindor dorms. Maybe he could lure you out with some chocolate. He knew you were addicted to the stuff, practically eating it for breakfast, lunch and dinner, but you always gave your stash to your brother. Some days he wished you wouldn’t. Just because he noticed how you would stiffen at the smell of it, or when you heard a wrapper from your stash being un-did. He knew Remus needed it, but it seemed like you sometimes needed it just as much as he did.

He bumped into LIly in the common room, he opened his mouth but she held up a hand to silence him.

“Listen, I know you want to check on her. But she isn’t in the best state right now. Especially if you are going to be questioning her about what you saw.”

“I just want to make sure she’s alright. I won’t question her about it.” Lily bit her lip and thought about it for a moment before shaking her head. You had given the last of your chocolate stash to Remus the other day and were in desperate need. But she didn’t want to leave you alone with Sirius in the dorm. He knew how to get into the girl’s dormitory, no shock there, but seldom did it. And normally only did it to bug the hell out of you.

“I’m sorry. It really isn’t the best decision. I have to run out and get her more chocolate from the kitchens, the house elves keep a stash for her down there. Please, don’t go in.”

“I can grab some from Remus’ stash,” he offered. But she shook her head.

“Where do you think the rest of her stash went?” Lily smiled and left. Sirius sat down on one of the couches, his leg bouncing aggressively again. He knew he shouldn’t go into your dorm room. He really shouldn’t. But, the thing is, that only made him want to more.

“Lily?” He heard your voice and looked up and saw you on the staircase, looking worse for wear. Your eyes met his and you froze, visibly freezing.

“Hey,” he scrambled to his feet, but didn’t move towards you.

“H-Hey,” you stuttered, your eyes still locked on him.

“I-uh,” he cleared his throat awkwardly. Why wasn;t he good at being sincere like this? “I came to check on you. See if you were alright.” You eyed him cautiously.

“Uh. Yeah. I-I’m fine.I-uh-well, I can’t exactly explain-” He shook his head.

“You don’t have to.”

“Yeah, but I should. It was rude. And I still haven’t apologized to Rem,” you sighed and sat down on the stair, putting your head in your hands again. He slowly walked over and sat next to you, not talking. He just put his arm around your shoulders. You turned your head into him and he rested his chin on your head.

“You ok?” You let out a breathy laugh. And shook your head.

“Not really.”You heard the clock chime and knew Lily had gone to class and purposefully left you with Sirius, knowing of your… fondness... of him. Damn, you really needed chocolate. “Don’t you have to get to class?” He chuckled.

“When have I ever been on time?” You laughed, knowing how true his statement was. Only when he walked with you was he ever early or on time. Unless it was for transfigurations. He would stand outside the door until class was five minutes in before walking in dramatically, interrupting the entire class, and taking a seat next to you. Mcgonagall would huff in annoyance, but you knew she didn’t hate it. You also knew she knew what he didn everyday and never made any course of action to change it.

“Good point. But we are supposed to have transfiguration now. Don't you think Mcgonagall will miss you?”

“I bet she wouldn’t know what to do without me.”

Meanwhile in transfiguration:

“Ok, Black will be walking through the doors in three, two, one,” Mcgonagall kept talking but looked at the doors and waited for them to bang open with Sirius. Nothing happened. She began to sweat. “Where is he? What is he getting himself into? Did he die? Did someone else accidentally die and he is hiding the body?”

Back to the common room:

“Besides, I think you need a friend right now.” You smiled and nodded. “And chocolate.”

“Did I just get compared to chocolate?” He joked.

“You should be honored. I think very highly of chocolate. In my opinion it's better than christmas.” He laughed.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Christmas comes once a year, chocolate is a year long thing.” he laughed again, and you smiled, proud that you could make him laugh like that. Then your smile faded as you thought if his girlfriend made him laugh like that.

It's not like you would ever date him. You might have a crush on him, but you not only had to keep your secret a secret, but he was also your twin brother’s friend. You couldn’t do that.

“We better get to class.” you lifted your self off him, both of you immediately missing the other person’s body heat. “Mcgongall probably thinks you killed someone.” he gave you a small smile as you ran up to your room to grab your bag. He grabbed his from the couch where he had set it. He slung it over his shoulder and you came running down the stairs, skipping the last four. “Ready?” You asked, your normal smile on your face. He smirked.

“Talking to me for a few minutes put that smile on your face?” He teased as you made your way out of the portal.

“No, I found a few bars of chocolate under my bed.” You said happily, pulling two bars out of your pocket. He rolled his eyes as you opened one and handed it to him. He stared at it for a moment before taking it.

“You don’t want it?”

“I might’ve found four and ate two while coming down the stairs.” He laughed and took a bite of his. You unwrapped yours and started eating away at it. You two made your way into Mcgonagall’s class, Sirius banging the door open.

“Minnie! Did you miss me?” He shouted. You shook your head and laughed as Mcgonagall just stared daggers at him. The class erupted into laughter, but stifled it at one glare from the professor.

“Mr. Black. How kind of you to join us. Same goes for you as well, Miss. Lupin,” her gaze was less harsh on you, but you still blushed and put your head down. You two slid into your seats and began to take notes. Luckily it had been a review day. And Sirius was a master at transfigurations, so he would help you after class since it, ironically, wasn’t your best subject(And by that I mean you were still a crazy master, just not your best class).

You two spent the lesson showing the other students up as you easily changed everything and answered questions correctly. Lily was even struggling a bit at the rate you and Sirius were commenting. Of course, yours were more sincere than Sirius’ sarcastic answers (that were always correct in some sense) but you two still ruled the lesson.

You all left the lesson, you headed down to the dungeons for potions with Remus and James while Peter, Sirius and Lily went to divinations. It was a tense silence, you walking ahead of the boys with your head down and your books pressed against your chest. James joined you in front which you were grateful for, but you knew he was trying to get you to talk to Remus. You just needed a little while, and you told him as much. He just nodded and continued walking with you to potions. You sat towards the back of the class and left Remus and James to sit in your usual spots. Someone sat besides you and you were about to ask them to move when you noticed it was Jacob.

“Hey!” You smiled kindly at the slytherin sitting beside you.

“Hi. I forgot we shared this class. You don’t mind if I?” You shook your head.

“No, of course not.” He smiled.

“You're normally sitting next to Lupin and Potter, right?”

“Yeah. Remus is my twin and we kind of just got the same group of friends. Surprising, right?" You chuckled and he chuckled with you. Slughorn began to teach and the two of you went to work on the assignment together. It wasn't a hard potion today. At least for you it wasn’t. Potions was your best class, although Slughorn was a terrible teacher. Well, it actually wasn't your best subject. That was defense against the dark arts. Potions was a close second.

"Alright class, for your next assignment you will be working with the person at your table for. You will be brewing and writing on a potion I will randomly select for each of you," you looked over at Jacob with a smile.

"Looks like we're partners," you beamed. He smiled back excitedly.

"Looks like it, Lupin. I'll start cleaning up, why don't you go up and get our assignment?" He suggested. You nodded and headed to the front, meeting James on the way.

"You and Jacob?"

"Yeah. He's pretty good at it, so whatever potion we get should be a piece of cake." You smiled up at him. He only offered you a small one in return, making you falter in confusion.

What was that about?

He went back to his table with your brother and you walked up to Slughorn.

"Ah, miss. Lupin! I was surprised to see you not with your brother."

"We had a bit of a disagreement earlier. I'm Jacobs' partner. What potion would you like us to complete?" He looked at you for a moment before his face lit up with an idea.

"How about amortentia? Yes, that would suit you two nicely,” he declared. You rolled your eyes. That was the cheesiest potion he could have given you.

“Sounds great, professor! I’ll tell Jacob and we’ll get to work on it right away,” you turned and sulked back to your table. He noticed the look on your face.

“What did he give us?”

“Amortentia.” Jacob rolled his eyes.

“Honestly? How many times has he given that out to students, can’t he be the least bit more creative?” You chuckled and grabbed your bag from the back of your chair and clung it over your shoulder before gathering your notebook.

“I completely agree. So, how about we meet in the library tomorrow to start on the paper and divy up the work?”

“Sounds good to me!” He smiled as you two walked out of the classroom, chatting a bit more as you left. You were so caught up in your conversation with Jacob you missed a black haired boy waiting for the three of you. He was leaning up against the wall, as he normally did, with his hands in his pockets and his bag by his one foot. The sight of you walking out with Jacob made him freeze and just stop breathing all together.

James and Remus followed the two of you out a few seconds later, not paying any attention to what was going on with you as you laughed at something he had said. You were just standing in the middle of the hallway. What was that about?

“Sirius!” He snapped out of his trance when James’ voice cut through the air.

“Mmh?” He looked at Remus and James, who both had a worried look on their faces.

“You ok? You zoned out for about four minutes straight.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. What’s your sister doing hanging out with that Slytherin you told to piss off earlier?” Remus whipped around and stared at you as you laughed again, his eyes narrowing dangerously at the Slytherin boy. He was the reason you two were fighting in the first place. That was a lie and Remus knew it, but that didn’t mean he had to admit it.

”She’s partnered with him for the project,” James clarified, causing both Sirius and Remus to look at him.

“He sat beside her,” Remus practically growled, tossing another glance as you waved goodbye to him and he did the same.

“What did you expect when she didn’t want to sit by us? He obviously took a liking to her earlier in the hall.”

“Why didn’t she sit by you?” Sirius asked. “You two didn’t make up yet?” Remus grumbled something that no one could hear, but they didn’t really care. You started walking over, ignoring your brother’s presence all together.

“Hey, Sirius. Hey James. Ready to head to dinner?” It was quiet for a few seconds, Remus just staring at you.

“Yeah,” James finally broke the silence. “Lets-uh-let's get to dinner. Quickly.” He took you by your shoulder and started to rush you to the dining hall.

Nothing improved over the week. The full moon was coming closer, making both you and Remus even more on edge. The two of you had attempted to make up, but that just resulted in another, bigger, blow out. James and Peter had to hold Remus back as Sirius and Lily had to hold you back. Both of you were about to pumble each other. You finally threw a very nasty statement at him before storming up to your common room. In your defense he deserved it.

You started to distance yourself from all the Marauders, even Lily in some ways as you focused on your studies. You met Jacob in the library every day to work on your potion’s assignment, which seemed to get Sirius and Remus both in a twist, though one was better at hiding it than the other. That was when the third blow up happened. The day of the full moon.

“I can’t believe you are hanging around that Slytherin.” Remus spit out to you as you were all sitting in the common room before lunch. It was Saturday and none of you felt much like going outside since you would be out all night.

“Excuse me?” You asked with raised eyebrows, putting the book you were studying out of down.

“You heard me.”

“I did, and since when have you cared? Not like you've been in my life much,” you spat. He clenched his jaw and stared at you, all of your friends ready to jump in case you got into another fight.

“Since it's a blasted Sytherin.”

“That's not even a fair judgment. Have you ever even talked to him?”

“Why would I? A pretty boy pure blood who comes from a rich family?” he scoffed. “Sounds like a fun time.” You bristled.

“You just described Sirius!” You yelled. You turned to Sirius. “No offense, of course,” he held up his hands.

“You called me pretty, I’m happy.” You rolled your eyes at him, not helping the butterflies in your stomach when he said that.

“Yeah, but he isn’t a Slytherin!”

“You're condemning all Slytherins to being evil now?”

“Aren’t they?” you were both on your feet now, causing everyone else to join you.

“No you ignoramus! And if you could see two inches past your fucking nose, then you would know that!”

“Name one person other than your precious boyfriend!”

“Slughorn!”

“Bet you can;t do it again.” He challenged. You sneered.

“Snape!” He laughed.

“Really? Him? You decide that he is not evil? Have you seen him?”

“Have you looked in the mirror much? You aren’t the model yourself!” He sneered.

“How about you?”

“What about me?:”

“You look as bad as I do, dare I say worse! And your chocolate consumption has become twenty times it normally is! Now you are hanging around a Slytherin and constantly fighting with me!”

“Me-” you laughed harshly and dramatically. Making it sound almost hysterical and mad. “Your the one who picks the fucking fight everytime!”

“Becuase you make stupid descions!”

“Like hitting a beast in the back with a chair from the top of a two story house?”

“Y/N,” Lily warned from beside you.

“To only save your arse from becoming what I am!”

“Yeah, well, bang up job, Remus Lupin! A for effort I suppose!”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“Silencio!” Lily yelled, pointing her wand at you. You yelled a string of curses at her and your brother before storming out of the common area. She shot Remus a glare, something that didn’t happen often.

“You know, she’s going to Hogsmead with him next weekend. I suggest you get your act together before then and actually support something your sister is doing before you remove her from your life completely,” she hissed and chased after you. All the boys were frozen from, not only Lily’s scolding, but the fact that you were going to Hogsmead with him. Sirius felt ill and just stood in place, frozen.

“Great,” James mumbled. “They’re both broken now. At least we are ok, Peter,” He looked over to where Peter had been standing. Now the boy was passed out on the ground. James sighed and shook his head. “Never mind.”

Lily found you in your normal spot, silently crying to yourself. She removed the spell and your sobs were so loud she almost silenced you again. She sat down besides you, but you made no move to put your head on her shoulder like you normally did.

She knew you didn’t want to talk to her right now. She knew it was Sirius that you wanted to speak to, but you had just announced that you were going to Hogsmead with Jacob. Sirius was trying to get over that fact.

“We should probably go meet Sev,” she murmured in your ear. “The potion will make you feel better.” You just shook your head and tried to catch your breath.

“I-I’m fine. I just… I just need a minute.”

“You are going to hate me for saying this, but you need to make up with your brother and tell Sirius how you feel. You made it seem like you and Jacob were going on a date when you know that's not what's happening.” She scolded. You nodded your head, not being able to catch your breath from how hot you were, especially with all the clothes you had on.

“Can-can you help me get the jacket off? Please?” She nodded and started to pull at the sleeve, revealing an arm full of scars. You pulled the other sleeve off, prevailing a second arm full of scars. Your breathing slowed and you were finally able to catch your breath.

You quickly wiped the tears from your eyes.

“I didn’t let anything slip. They-they don;t know anything, right?”

“I almost let you. But that wasn’t the right way to do it.” You nodded gratefully, tracing some of the scars on your arm. You were more on edge today, but, for once, you don;t think chocolate would help. But that was only because of Remus’ comment earlier.

“We should probably get your potion from Sev. I have a feeling tonight's going to be one of your… worse… ones.” You nodded, feeling it too. This wasn;t just going to be an irritating night, this was going to be a full on transformation.

“I’ll have to tie myself down in the Room of Requirement tonight,” you nodded, agreeing.

“I don’t see why you tie yourself down. You take the potion.”

“What if it doesn’t work one night? You are going to have a second werewolf around and on the grounds. It's better if I just tie myself up and be prepared.” She sighed, knowing you wouldn’t see reason in this.

“Will you at least let me be in there with you?”

“Merlin, Lily! No! Are you mad?”

“Remus at least has-”

“And Remus is a normal werewolf. I am not. Something could go wrong at any moment and I am not letting anyone get remotely close to me. You know that!”

“I’m just saying-”

“No!” her eyes widened as you snapped at her. “It's not happening, so stop asking,” you stood up and walked out of the alcove in a huff, leaving her slightly stunned, your jacket sitting where you had once occupied. She thought about going after you and giving it back, but maybe this was what you needed. Someone else to know your secret.

You realized too late that you had forgotten your jacket and turned around to get it when you heard Sirius.

“Y/N! Wait a minute!” You froze before bolting in the direction towards the alcove you knew your jacket would be in. “Y/N!” He called after you again, his voice getting closer. You pushed yourself to run faster, only making you trip over your feet in the process and tumble to the ground with a cry. You were so close to your jacket. But Sirius caught up and froze when he saw your arms. His mouth opened and closed quickly.

You grabbed him and shoved him into an empty classroom, locking the door behind you and turning back to him. He was still staring at your arms and you sighed in frustration, letting a long string of profanities fall from your lips and you paced the room, pulling the skin from your lips, trying to figure out what to do.

You could obliviate him. Of course, that wasn’t the best course of action. You really didn’t want to obliviate your best friend. While you were thinking he came back to his senses.

“Y/N?”

“Mh?” You hummed, still thinking about what to do. He grabbed you and turned you towards him.

“Y/N.”

“Yeah?” His eyes scanned your arms.

“What happened?” You bit your lip and continued to pull it apart with your teeth. WHat could you tell him? “Y/N?”

“You're gonna kill me,” you mumbled and closed your eyes moving away from him and running your hand over your face.

“I-I won’t. Just-”

“I can’t, Sirius. I can’t tell you.” You looked back towards him with nothing but sorrow in your eyes. “I’m sorry. I just can’t tell you.” Then the pieces fit together. Your mood swings during the full moons, you always carrying chocolate and your ears always perking when you heard the wrapper. The way you “just knew” when someone was close by or something was headed your way.

“Please don’t tell me-”

“Please don’t worry about it,” you begged.

“I am staring at your scared arms. How am I not supposed to worry about it?” He raised his voice. It wasn’t a yell, but it still made you flinch. He noticed and lowered his voice again. “Y/N, I need you to tell me the truth here,” you looked down and he walked closer to you. Careful steps. Very careful steps. “That night Remus got turned into a werewolf, did he-” you nodded. Tears welling in your eyes. “But you can transform into an animagus.” You swallowed the lump in your throat.

“I’m not a full one. I get testy around the full moon, but don’t always turn. And I carry the chocolate for Remus, mostly.” He shook his head.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Because Remus has it ten times worse than me. Please don’t tell him,” you begged.

“Don’t tell him? How am I supposed to not tell him?”

“By keeping your mouth shut?” You attempted the joke, but he just shook his head at you. “Please. I am begging you, Sirius. I really need to meet Sev and I need my jacket an-”

“Snape?” You looked away and bit your lip. “Why do you…”

“He’s the best one at potions in our year. He was the only one who can, well, you know.”

“That's why you protected him when Remus said that stuff about Slytherins.”

“He’s helped me out since second year. And with all the turmoil happening between me and everyone, tonights going to be bad. I really need to get the potion off him. Like now. Please, I will tell you everything later, just please let me go and please don’t tell Remus.” His leg bounced as he stared at you from the table he sat down at. He shrugged off his own jacket and threw it over your shoulders.

“Get your potion. I expect everything to be explained tomorrow and I will not tell your brother, yet.” You smiled and hugged him, throwing your arms around his neck.

“Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.” You mumbled into his neck as he hugged you back.

“Yeah yeah. Just be careful, ok?” he set you firmly on the ground again. “Promise me.” You nodded and slid your hands through the arm holes of his jacket. It was far too big for you, but you didn’t really care. First off because it was hiding your scars. Second off, you had Sirius Black’s jacket on, and that may or may not have made your heart beat out of your chest. And then if you add the way he was looking at you on top of that, you were dead.

“I promise. Thank you, Sirius. You are a life saviour.” You left the room and he stood staring at that door, cursing himself and needed to find Lily, pronto.

“Evans!” He yelled into the great hall where the red head was sitting. She looked over at him with an eye roll, but then noticed his serious expression. Which was, ironically, something he rarely had on his face. She stood up and scurried over to him and he pulled her out of the great hall. “You knew, didn;t you? About Y/N.” She shrugged, guilty.

“She made me swear to secrecy. Do you know where she went? She got mad at me and stomped off without her jacket. I’m assuming you-”

“Saw her hundreds of scars? Yes.”

“She showed you all of them” She creased her eyebrows and his eyes narrowed.

“All? Where is all?” Lily swallowed.

“Everywhere?” His eyes flickered down the hall, almost as if he were looking for you.

“Why does she have more than Remus?”

“Her body heals differently and she didn’t have the ointment he gets from the hospital wing, despite my persistent begging for her to get it.”

“Does her boyfriend know about this?”

“Her what?”

“Jacob. The Slytherin.”

“Sirius, they aren’t dating.”

“But he’s taking her to Hogsmead.”

“To help him pick out a gift for his little sister’s birthday. I said that in the heat of the moment. She was pissed at Remus. Please, don’t make her feel worse about keeping this a secret. And no, she just met him a week ago. She’s known Remus since she was born and you since everywhere in between.” Sirius looked down the hall again before back at Lily.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Do not tell Remus until after the full moon tonight. They are both on edge and it's not going to be a pretty fight.” Sirius nodded, recalling how badly he had wanted to yell at her for not telling them about this.

“Anything else?”

“Go easy on her. It had to of taken a lot of guts not to obliviate you on the spot.” Sirius nodded, knowing she had contemplated it for a split second.

“Yeah, ok. I can do that.”

“Thank you, Sirius. You're a good friend.” He scoffed.

“Tell that to Mooney when he’s beating the daylights out of me.” Lily put a hand on his shoulder before disappearing back into the Great Hall. “He’s gonna kill me for this,” Sirius mumbled before following her into the hall.

You had just finished tying the ropes onto your arms. They were charmed so no matter what tugged at them they would hold you in place until the full moon was over. You had tied them extra tight tonight for precaution. Lily walked in with her arms full of chocolate and some other food for before and after the full moon.

“Do you have to tie them so tight?”

“Yes,” You grunted as you pulled one more time to triple check if they were tight enough.

“Sirius pulled me aside today,” she hummed slightly and took a seat in front of you on the floor. You glanced at his jacket.

“Speaking of,” you said before she could say anything. “Can you return his jacket? I don’t want it to get ruined or anything and I didn’t see him before I came here.”

“You didn;t see him because you didn’t want to. You can’t avoid him or telling our friends about this.”

“Yeah, but I can put it off for as long as possible.” She shook her head at you.

“You are unbelievable.”

“Yep. Can you pass some chocolate over please.” She started to grab it but you changed your mind. “Actually, just hand me the grapes.” She paused and looked up at you.

“Is this about what Remus said?” You looked away from her. “Y/N/N. Is this about what Remus said?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“He didn’t mean-”

“Yeah he did. My brother may be a lot of things, but a liar isn’t one of them. Especially during a full moon.”

“Well, I’m sure he didn’t mean it the way it came out.”

“I’m pretty sure he did.” She just shook her head and handed you the chocolate which you reluctantly (not really) took and began to devour.

“You should get out of here, Lily. It’ll be starting in a little.”

“You took the potion?” You nodded and gestured to an empty vile a few feet away from you. She picked it up and gathered Sirius’s coat. “Are you sure you’ll be ok?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Thanks again, Lily. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N.” And then she left, leaving you to munch on chocolate in the deafening silence. Counting the seconds until it would begin.

Lily stepped through the doors and back into the hallway, she looked at Sirius who was leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets.

“I’m going to murder Remus later,” she grumbled and walked down the hall. Sirius jogged after her.

“Why?”

“Here’s your jacket. You know that comment he made about her eating a lot of chocolate?” Sirius took his jacket back and nodded. “She took it to heart and doesn’t want to eat it any more. Well, as much as she normally does. And it makes her feel as close to as hundred percent as she can get around this time.” Sirius frowned. “You know, she cares so much about Remus, and I really don’t think he gets that,” Lily shook her head.

“I think you may be right,” Sirius mumbled and looked back down the hallway the two of them had just come from.

You woke on the floor in the Room. The floor was ice cold and your clothes were in shreds and were hanging onto your body loosely. You were bleeding here and there and sat back, rubbing the back of your neck you groan. You could see the sun was rising from the window the room always provided you.

You glanced at the pile of chocolate and went to get it before you untied yourself but stopped. No. You didn’t need anything right now. You’d be fine.

You undid the rope on your arms and legs. You held your wrists carefully, they were bruised and splattered with dry blood from you tugging at them and flinched every time you ran your hand over an open cut.

Shaking yourself, you stood up and grabbed a fresh set of clothes and your “Journal”. After every full moon you would write down what you remembered, just to get it out of your head. You never talked about it, like your brother did. He really didn;t have to, but you knew that he always needed to get it out to. So instead of making his friends hear it since they were already there with him, he told you.

You quickly rinsed the blood off yourself to the best of your ability until you could take a shower, and tossed on a pair of oversized sweatpants and a tank top with a jacket. The room had provided you with a couch, which you gratefully took with a book, your journal, and some of the non-chocolate food Lily had brought with her yesterday. It would be a while until you would be mentaly fine enough to leave.

Remus was in the medical wing sleeping, three of the four boys asleep in the uncomfortable chairs that surrounded his bed, as usual. Madame Pomfrey had been up and had been ready to tend to Remus’ wounds as usual and had left him and the boys to sleep. James and Peter found it easy to slip into sleep for the rest of the morning, but Sirius found it harder than normal, and he knew it was because of you.

After his ninth attempt to fall asleep he rose and left the room, a silent nod to the healer sitting at her cabinet and writing something, before he left through the doors and quickly made his way to the Room of Requirement.

No one was up yet, he didn’t even know if you were. But he knew no one should have to go through that alone, which you obviously had been doing since second year. It just didn’t sit right with him. He stopped at the wall leading to the Room of Requirement and waited for doors to form. Which they did. He opened the door quietly and stepped in to see you on the couch you looked up, expecting Lily.

“Sirius?”

“Hey.”

“How’d you know where I was?”

“Lily.”

“Right. Well, shouldn’t you be asleep in the hospital wing then?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” He shrugged and sat on the couch you were occupying. “Studying?” You shrugged and moved some of your notes, still not emotionally or mentaly stable enough to deal with people. But because it was him, and your emotions were still in a knot of confusion, you let him stay.

Did your heart always beat this fast when he was this close?

“Did you get your jacket back?” You picked up a piece of chocolate. “Chocolate?” He grabbed the bar and opened it.

“Yeah, Lily gave it back to me yesterday. I was a little disappointed not to see you before the full moon.” You shrugged and ate a strawberry, eyeing Sirius’s chocolate with want, but resisted opening your own.

“I took the potion and rushed in here to get ready,” you motioned to the ropes on the ground; you hadn’t had the energy to clean it up yet.

“Ropes?” His gaze flickered between you, the ropes and your hands, which you were playing with nervously. “You… tie yourself down?” He looked almost horrified.

“Yeah,” you looked at the wall. “Precautions. I don’t take them lightly.” He didn’t know what to say to that. He knew Remus was cautions about this but tying yourself up like that while you went through the agony of transforming?

“Let me see your hands,” he reached out to you, but the motion only made you bring them into yourself. You got shit from Lily when she saw them, you didn’t need that twice. “Y/N, please.” You swallowed and handed them to him. His leg started to bounce at the new, red marks on your wrists.

“It-it's really fine.” you tried to pull them back, but he didn’t let you. He didn’t look up at you and you waited for him to start yelling. Lily always did.

“How bad does it hurt?” You were shocked by the amount of kindness in his voice. You swallowed.

“Uh-not terribly. I mean, my wrists are kind of used to getting torn up like this, so I mean…” You bit your lip and tried to peel the layers off. “I mean, I guess it kind of stings. ANd my back kind aches, but uh… its.. Uh.. fine.”

“Why don’t you go to the hospital wing?”

“Because you guys and Remus are there. If I showed up every full moon when you were all there, it would be a bit suspicious, don’t ya think?”

“Yes, but you’re injured.” You shrugged sadly.

“I've had worse than a few rope burns. I mean, you’ve seen my arms.”

“And Lily said that's not even close to the end of your scars,” you flinched slightly. Which was he talking about? Mentaly or physically?

You knew this wasn;t the moment to be exactly thinking it, but damn when he wanted to he could literally be so gentle and it made you want to burst.

“Yeah. Before the potion and figuring out the rope charm it was pretty bumpy. I mean, it's still not exactly smooth sailing, but- I’m rambling now,” you shook your head and pulled your hands away from him, tucking your hands into your sleeves.

“Have you eaten any chocolate yet?” He asked, rising and making his way to the pile on the floor.

“I haven’t really felt like it,” you shrugged, not even attempting to make the lie seem real. He rolled his eyes and started rifling through the bars.

“Liar.” He grabbed one and tossed it to you. “Here. Eat this, you’ll feel better.”

“I’m fine, Sirius. Really.” You poked at the bar a few times, contemplating taking it. “You look exhausted though. You were out with my brother all night, you should get some sleep.”

“So should you.” You rolled your eyes and looked back down at the potions book in your hands.

“I have to study for this potions assignment with Jacob. I’ve been too distracted with this past full moon.”

“Yes I can see how turning into a werewolf would be distracting,” he scoffed and took the book from your hands.

“Sirius,” you whined.

“What potion did you even get?” His face fell a bit when he noticed the love potion on the page. The majority of the students who did this potion together ended up together.

“It's easy, but a lot of information,” you sighed and grabbed the book back. “I mean, not easy easy. But its,” you shook your head. “Never mind. Forget it,” you sighed and ran your hands over your face.

“Who do you think you're gonna smell?” He asked, leaning back casually, even though he hated himself for asking.

“Probably no none. And the person I hope I smell, well I doubt they'd even consider me,” you rolled your eyes. “I’ll probably smell chocolate and lavender. Or something like that.” But in your head you weren;t thinking about chocolate and lavender. Ok, that was a lie. You were thinking about chocolate, it was right in front of you and your sensitive sense of smell was amplifying it. But you were really expecting to smell was the boy sitting next to you. And you knew you wouldn’t mix his scent with anyone else's.

“Heh. They’d be crazy not to, love.” You blushed but buried your head into your book further. He looked over at you and bounced his leg a few more times.

“You should probably get back to Rem. I’ll probably follow you a bit later to check in on him and give him some chocolate.” He frowned.

“Shouldn;t you be eating all this?”

“I only normally eat a few pieces and give the rest to him. He has it worse than me.” You shrugged. “He deserves it more.”

“And aren’t you supposed to be mad at him?” You shrugged again.

“How my full moons go are based on my emotions. It's better to make up with him. Make everything go back to normal, like it normally does when we get into an argument.”

“Ok, but it wasn;t fair the way he treated you. I know he was on edge, but-”

“Sirius, it's fine. Really. We were both just on edge. And it was fair. I mean, not the Slytherin comments, but the rest of it was.”

“Will you at least eat something before you go? Or get some sleep?”

“I slept plenty after my transformation and I ate lots.”

“Chocolate,” He said exasperatedly. “Eat some chocolate.” You took the bar of chocolate he had given you and took a bite out of it.

“Never thought someone would have to make me eat chocolate.”

“Never thought I’d have to make you,” you frowned, thinking back to your twin's comment.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you would just eat it without even thinking. Ever since Remus made that comment-”

“Rightfully said,” you hummed cutting him off. He sighed and took your book again, kneeling in front of you.

“Why do you care so much about what he says? Especially when he’s not himself?”

“Because I need to make him feel happier. He’s like this because of me. Because of my mistake to want to see the stars he’s in pain.”

“And so are you. Why do you keep torturing yourself?”

“I’m not. I just… I don’t know. God I’m such a mess afterwards,” you groaned, tears pricking your eyes.

“Yeah, well, that's expected,” he smirked and it made you give hima laugh-sob in reply. “Here,” he urged, handing you the half finished chocolate bar. You took a desperate few bites out of it and let the tears fall. He wiped them away quickly and let his hand fall on your knee. “Better?” you nodded and wiped your face to rid it of any chocolate.

“Yeah, sor-”

“Don’t apologize. You should sleep. You look absolutely horrid,” you laughed pitifully and nodded, finally admitting to your exhaustion.

“Yeah, ok. You might be right.”

“Might be? I’m always right.” You laughed again and went to stand up.

“Yeah yeah. Alright. You're always right. I’ll sleep after I make sure Remus is alright.” You promised.

He wanted to argue but knew he wouldn’t win.

“Alright. Come on. Then I’m taking you straight to the dorm room.”

“I have to clean up first. Go ahead, I’ll follow.” He shook his head.

“I’ll come back later and do it.”

“Sirius-”

“No arguing. Come on,” he dragged you out of the room. You visited your brother who was still asleep. James and Peter were up and waiting for Remus to wake up. Once you saw him Sirius dragged you out and to your dorm room forcing you to go to sleep or he would make you eat chocolate until you turned into it. You gladly fell into a dreamless sleep, unknowing of him wrapping your wrists since you were such a heavy sleeper.

You woke up on Monday when Lily shook you awake for class. You could tell she felt bad about it, but you assured her it was fine. You noticed your hands were wrapped and wondered who had done it. That's when you noticed your stomach growling. Quickly you got dressed and shoved chocolate into your bag for Remus and ran down to the Great Hall where everyone already was. You took your usual seat in between Remus and Sirius.

“Hey!” You said cheerfully and grabbed some food and put it on your plate. “Rem, could you pass me the chocolate chip muffins please?” He did so as if nothing was wrong and even bumped your shoulder with his. Sirius just watched, not understanding how your three huge fights could so easily turn back to this. All your classes went as usual, even lunch went well.

Then it was time for potions. You walked in with James and Remus but had to make your way to Jacob instead of sitting with them. You had decided it would be fair to split the research and then have him write the essay while you made the potion.

“Hey Jacob!” You smiled brightly at the Slytherin.

“Hello, Y/N. You have your half of the research?” You nodded and handed him your papers. Excellent. Should we get started then?”

“Sounds good to me! Who do you think you’ll smell?” He glanced over at a hufflepuff with bright red hair across the room.

“I hope I know who.” You smiled. “You?” You blushed.

“I wish. I mean, I have an idea, but they’ll never like me back, especially now.” He shook his head.

“You're super cool, Y/N/N. They’d be insane not to.”

“Thanks, Jacob. Let's get to it then?”

“Lets!” For the rest of class the two of you worked, quietly chatting occasionally as you finished the project together. You heard an explosion and glanced up and Remus and James who were just staring at their cauldron. James obviously being the one who added the wrong ingredient. You snorted and went back to your own potion mixing it together carefully, the brew being the perfect shade of pink. He sat up in his seat and looked at you wide eyed. “It's finished?”

You smiled. “You smell it already? It still has a few hours of brewing.” He nodded. He looked over to the hufflepuff boy.

“Yeah. I can smell it. You?” You swallowed and took a whiff.

Gasoline, smoke, cinnamon apples and chocolate. God that was it. That was him.

“Yeah,” you sighed. “Yeah I smell it.” Slughorn came over and looked into the cauldron.

“My my, looks like you two are finished already! Is your essay finished as well?” You looked over at Jacob who wrote a few more things down and handed it to Slughorn who skimmed it, seeming to be happy with it. “Splendid splendid. Well done you two. You can be finished for today. As a matter of fact, everyone is dismissed if you feel like you are finished. We will be continuing this tomorrow and then they will be due the next day.” The class erupted into chatter and the Hufflepuff boy came over, Jacob held his breath as he stopped in front of him smelling the air. He looked over at him, lust blown eyes.

He bit his lip and sauntered out of the room with a swing to his hips, glancing back at him before leaving the door. You chuckled as he just stared, gawking.

“Go get him, Lover boy!” He grinned at you and ran out of the room after the Hufflepuff. You cleaned up as the room emptied. You told Remus and James to go on without you to lunch. You would be there for a few minutes.

You continued to clean up the station, not bothering to stop smelling your potion, the scent put you at ease. It always did. And you really needed to be at ease right then.

You walked back over to your workbench to see Sirius entering the room.

“Hey, Sirius!” You smiled and he smiled back before stopping, smelling the air. He looked at the potion, swallowed and then back at you. You frowned and went back to cleaning up, making sure not to look at him. But you couldn’t help but wonder who he was smelling. It was clearly not you.

He began to help you clean up and the air was suddenly tense between you. And you just couldn’t take it anymore.

“So, who do you smell?” You asked, jumping onto the work table and cocking your head at him. He shrugged. “Come on, I want to know. As your best friend, I have a right to know.” He hummed in response and inclined his head.

“Just like how I had a right to know your secret?” You looked away.

“I said I was sorry. I just, I was scared if it got out that Remus would find out. I just didn’t want Remus to know that he got turned and I got turned. I would have much rather it been me and only me rather than the both of us.”

“I would've rather it be neither of you,” you smiled up at him.

“Yeah, same. So who do you smell?”

“Why don;t you tell me?” he countered and you chewed your lip. “Come on, just tell me,” he got closer to you, smiling as he glanced up at him. You have no idea where the rush of courage came from. But it came.

“You,” you shrugged, he went wide eyed and stepped back, coughing.

“M-me?” You shrugged, playing it off.

“You,” he smirked at you, composing himself again.

“And what exactly do I smell like?” He asked, placing a hand on either side of your body. You thought about it for a moment, but you knew. Even without him right in front of you and the potion right beside you, you knew.

“Gasoline and smoke from that motorcycle you always work on, Cinnamon and apples because though you’d never admit it they are your favorite, and chocolate because you're always around me or Rem.” he stared at you. You narrowed your eyes at him. “Who do you smell?” It took him a moment to find his voice, and each second he took you waited in agony. What if you just confessed to your best friend and he didn’t like you back. But he smiled after a moment.

“You,” he replied simply, making your eyes go wide. You had been hoping, but it was actually the last thing you had expected to hear.

“An-and what exactly do I smell like?”

“Lavender, from that motorizer you always wear before you go to sleep, chocolate because you practically survive on the stuff- which is adorable-, and ink because you are constantly spilling it all over the place,” as he spoke his voice had gotten lower and lower, and with his voice his gaze also dropped. It dropped all the way down to your lips which you were playing with.

“Wo-wow,” you stuttered out, not knowing how to react. WHat do you do? You were panicking. And before you could say anything or do anything, his lips were on yours and he was standing in between your legs. His mouth was warm on yours and you wrapped your arms around his neck bringing him closer as he brought his hands to your hips to bring you closer. But then a familiar thought rang through your head.

You don’t deserve this…

“Sirius, wait,” you pulled away and he leaned away from you, his hands still on your hips, he looked at you curiously.

“What's wrong?”

“I-I don’t deserve this. I-I can’t put you through this.” He scrunched his eyebrows together.

“What do you mean?” You buried your head in your hands and shook your head. Headache was approaching and you needed your chocolate. After the full moon was never as bad as before, but that didn’t mean you didn’t have your share of problems.

Sirius seemed to sense your need for chocolate because he dove into your bag and pulled out a piece, unwrapping it for you. He handed it to you and you took it gratefully.

“Can you explain what you meant?”

“You deserve better than me. I mean. You're you. And who am I? I’m a weirdo screw up who got her brother bitten by a werewolf.”

“No,” he pulled your face back up to his and looked at you. “You are perfect. I have had a crush on you since second year. And I’ll be damned if I let your insecurities get in the way of me taking care of you.”

“But-”

He shoved the chocolate back into your mouth, shaking his head.

“Do you like me?” you nodded as you chewed the chocolate. He smiled and pecked your lips, your mouth still full of chocolate. “That's all that matters to me. I think we have a few things to tell your brother now though,” you frowned and nodded sadly. You didn’t want to, you really didn’t. He kissed you again and you brought him in closer. You still felt guilty, and you knew you always would. You couldn’t change that. But you could try for him. You could be the best for him. Because the boy standing in front of you, wiping excess chocolate from his own mouth, he was everything you had ever wanted.

And you would be everything he ever wanted in return.

[isabellabrodar]

Comfort✖️JJ Maybank✖️

word count: 1277

warnings: none

jj maybank x reader

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I had watched the fire go out until the cold started to creep in and I forced myself to lay down between Sarah and Kie, the sand even colder on my body.

We had been stranded for almost a week now but still weren`t able to build some kind of hut or tent, anything to keep out the clawing hands of the cold nights breeze.

I tried to listen to the waves that were still beating onto the island, but the sound didn`t calm me tonight. It almost drove me mad. I got up again, trying not to get any sand on the others and wake them up, successfully it seemed. The two girls were still sleeping with a peaceful look on their faces. You could even go as far and call this their dream life.

There was a big rock right at the shore which we usually laid our clothes out on in order to dry them. But it was empty now so I sat down, feet dangling and barely touching the water as some of the left over heat from the stone crept up my body.

This was the dream life, the dream life of a Pogue. Surfing all day, sitting by the campfire at night, no one around but the five people you`re closest to. But why did it feel so wrong to me then? After everything we have been through, John B almost being convicted of murder, Sarah almost dying, Pope almost dying, escaping Rafe on the Costal Venture, this should´ve been a relief.

„I would ask you if you can`t sleep but that seems too obvious.“

I broke my stare away from the ocean and looked up to the blonde boy now standing next to me.

„You know that sneaking up on people when they`re contemplating life isn`t polite, right?“ I tried to force a smile on my lips but I knew that he could see how tired I was. He always saw.

„What`s wrong?“ His voice was quiet and it reminded me of all the conversations we had after we thought John B and Sarah had died. We would stay up all night and sit next to each other on the beach or just the porch of the cottage, almost like right now.

„This is our life right?“

„Seems like it. Y/N, what`s going on?“ He sat down right next to me, our legs were touching and he was looking at me as I turned my head back towards the crashing waves.

„I just want to go to school, JJ. I want to leave every morning at the same time, meet you guys in the afternoon, go home to have dinner with my family and do it all over again the next day.“ My hands had started to shake a little and my breath became shallow.

„That sounds kinda boring if I am being honest.“ His blue eyes wandered from my face to my hands and he added: „You can still have that life back. We just need some time to figure it out.“

And there it was. The moment something broke in me and I knew that no one would be able to fix it.

„I can`t do this anymore, J. I am not like Kie who doesn`t need her family because she has you guys. I am not like Pope who just manages to push his college plans a little further into the future. And I am not like you, JJ. I can`t be that optimistic all the time and try to come up with another risky and definitely stupid plan. I just want to feel at home again.“

Tears were now running down my face and my best friend didn`t hesitate to pull my body into his. The crying turned into sobbing, which I tried to keep quiet to not wake the others. No need for everyone to see me break down. My head was pressed into JJ`s chest and I felt it move as he started talking slowly.

„We are your family. I am your family, Y/N. If you want it or not I am there for you and I promise, I will get you back to your normal life, ok? I would do anything for you.“ His words made me look up at him.

„You know it hurts me to see you like this. I mean, I don`t really understand your feelings…This is heaven for me, but…“ He stopped talking when he saw the hint of a smile on my face.

„Thank you, J. Even I don`t understand my feelings.“ I paused a second to think. „I am happy when I am with you. All of you, I mean. But I just haven`t felt safe and at home in a long time.“

JJ`s arms were still around me when I noticed that I felt warm for the first time since leaving the Costal Venture. The sound of the waves was merely noticeable anymore. My breathing was hitching up again when JJ looked me in the eyes. His hands had moved from my shoulders to my cheeks and he gently wiped away some of my tears.

„Can I kiss you?“ I could hear the hesitation in his words.

I broke the eye contact and looked at my hands, which were shaking even worse now. Have I expected him to aks that, to feel this way about me? Definitely not. Have I wanted him to? Since we met in third grade and he punched a kid in the face for stealing my bracelet.

„I don`t think that`s a good idea, J. The others wouldn`t approve, especially with all of us trapped on an island.“

„I don`t give a shit about what the others think and I know neither do you.“ He let his hands fall into his lap. I couldn`t read the look on his face but I knew that I hurt him. And he knew that I was just making up an excuse.

„Sorry, I just think we shouldn`t, J.“

All of our friends knew that there was something more between me and JJ. I was the only person who was allowed to clean the cuts on his cheek after JJ went home to his father and when we were all grieving John B`s death, we usually turned to each other. We didn`t always talk. Sometimes he would just hold me when we went to sleep and I would tell him that everything was alright once he would wake up from the same nightmare every night.

„Can we go to sleep, please?“ I had gotten up quickly, holding myself now in an attempt to get back some of the warmth he had given me.

JJ understood that I wasn`t just asking to go back to our camp, I was asking for him to hold me again. And even though he was hurt after I rejected the idea of us as a couple, JJ got up as well, took my hand and we started walking back to our friends, who were sprawled out next to the small, burnt pile of wood.

When I lay down on the ground like before, I didn`t feel each sand corn and I didn`t hear the beating waves on the shore. I just felt JJ`s body behind me, his chest pressed against my back and one arm thrown over my stomach.

I wispered a small „Thank you“ and closed my eyes. The last thing I felt before finally falling asleep was a kiss on my bare shoulder. It was just a quick peck but I knew that he loved me just as much as I loved him. I wasn`t ready to reveal that to him, though.

✖️I am thinking about writing a second part, but I am not sure yet. Hope you like it. I just loved the idea of this scene and JJ being the readers home without her realizing

[todomochi-uwu]

Of Unspoken Troubles & Broken Hearts (1/3)

Pairing: Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader

Warnings: Angst; I hope you cry, I hope you all do.

Author´s Notes: Holy shit do I like to make myself cry, I finally got back into therapy so today´s a good day, expect a bnha smut later today!

How naive, how innocent, how foolish thinking your heart could be content with that little attention, that little love

Next Parts: Second Second&Half Third

Loving Ushijima Wakatoshi was no easy task; he was a complicated man, always serious, always silent, always blunt about most things, and even though all this made him seem like a dull or boring person, Ushijima wasn´t anything like that, at least for you.  

He was passionate, determinate, a natural leader, people looked up to him, they admire him and so did you. Your heart had been completely stolen by the stoic man, and so when he asked you out, fireworks lighted up your soul, your inner goddess did backflips and your dreams were fulfilled. 

At least for the first few months.

No PDA. It´s annoying, he said.

No distractions. I can´t afford to miss any practice, he said.

Oh.

And no kiss and tell. I hate scandals and the drama that comes with them, he said.

How naive, how innocent, how foolish thinking your heart could be content with that little attention, that little love.

What at first put you at ease, now made all your insecurities pop out; watching him practice was no longer rewarding; waiting for him to go home (of course not outside of school, people would notice); weekends of watching endless volleyball matches just for a small cuddle session; sending good morning texts for them to be left on read; preparing Bentos with small notes and finding them half-eaten after; all of that was slowly becoming tiring, sick of doing that much and getting back so little.

Always having to remember, you were a manager, not a girlfriend.

----------------------------

When you opened your eyes the sky seemed brighter, the air felt different, not a sound in the bus, turning to your right there was him, leaning to your side; in the past, you would have tried to cuddle him, snap some photo for your phone, but after being reprimanded, by him, you knew better. So instead, you turned the other way and leaned against the window and let the road continue. You were sitting together because you were the manager and captain, just that. Manager and captain.

-----------------------------

The building had tall white walls, three gymnasiums and was surrounded by open forest, it was a nice change of view. 

After waking everyone up, passing list, giving announces and indications, you made sure the boys met the other teams, introduce themselves to the managers and captains. 

Your duties were things you were used to, prepare the meals; helps with cleaning; take notes about the games, your team and others; list positions and strategies; help the coach and take care of the boys.

Between all of this, you couldn´t help but check out your boyfriend every once in a while, make sure he was alright; sending small smiles and praises his way, but Ushijima remained neutral, his cold stare was the only response, making your humour go sour.

But there was always Tendou and Semi with their bickering, Goshiki with his loud statements and Leon making sure you were okay. 

When the practice games were over you went to the kitchen with the other managers, serving food and energy drinks. An idea, came to your mind after everyone went to sleep, it´d be a perfect time, you and he could spend time alone, no one to see, no one to bother. 

------------------------------

Midnight on the clock. 

You pulled from his hand, everything was silent, your steps were hurried, blush covered your entire face and a smile your lips. Sitting against one of the walls, you grabbed his hand and leaned against his chest.

"Just for a few minutes, it´s late," he whispered making you shiver. 

Your heart fluttered when his thumb caressed your palm in affection, you closed your eyes enjoying the warmth of his body and the mint in his breath, trying to sync with the rhythm of his heart. Everything ease okay if he was there, or so you thought. 

Laughter and mumbles could be heard, they were getting closer and before you could do anything Ushijima had already pushed you away, fixing himself, with no remorse in his face, not even looking your way, not looking at the mess he caused.

Semi and Tendou appeared in the hall, immediately noticing you. 

"Well if it isn´t miracle boy and Lil' manager, what are you two doing up so late?" Tendou´s voice was teasing, implying things he already knew the answer to.

"Y/LN san was just showing me today´s notes, we didn´t have time before." 

"Mmhm, where´s your notebook Y/N?"

"I take photos of them so Ushijima san can have them, would you like a copy of them too, Tendou san?" You got up and put the brightest, fakest smile on your face you could, you answered. 

"Sure, sure. Oh young love, common guys it´d be our little secret, just between us, right Semi Semi?" Tendou started, but Ushijima was quicker. 

"Tendou there´s nothing between Y/LN san and me, she´s just a manager nothing else. I don´t even see her that way." No hesitation, as if it came natural, no emotion, no regret.

You couldn´t bear it, taking a step back, you ran away.

Fuck Ushijima Wakatoshi. 

Fuck his fake feelings.

Fuck his rules.

Fuck yourself for believing him.

Fuck yourself for loving him.

Fuck everything. 

Your feet ached, your legs were cramping, but your mind kept racing. It wasn´t until your entire body gave up that fell in the middle of the field, and there was where you let it all out. 

Your throat screamed up so the gods could hear you,

your eyes cried a river so you could drown in it,

your hands kept digging your tomb so you could die in it. 

Nothing mattered and nothing made sense, you could only hear his words playing like a broken record. 

'Just a manager,' 'No feelings,' 'Not in front of them,' 'No Y/N', 'Stop it, Y/N.'

Every single word breaking you even more.

It wasn´t until a pair of hands on your shoulders shook you, the echo of a voice entered your ears and the worried stare of cat-like-eyes brought you down to earth.

"Hey, are you okay?" The hazel in his stare was forever imprinted in your memory, and with that, you were out. 

[littlethie]

Your girlfriend’s best friend - Draco Malfoy x reader

How does it feel to watch your best friend date the love of your life?

A/N: Alright, so I wanted to post something in between studying. I will be working on the request tomorrow because I have an exam yay! So I am working on it don’t worry!

Warnings: angst, swearing, alcohol, my English 

Words: 2,3k

notmygif

You weren’t the first one. You weren´t the main role, and you weren´t his. It was your best friend, Angelica, a beautiful Gryffindor. You kept thinking about it, with your chin lazily rested in your palm. The boy you were sure you loved was in love with someone else. And as if it couldn´t get any worse, he was in love with the girl you considered a sister.

You couldn´t tell her, even if you wanted to. And what would you even tell her? Hi Angelica, I´m totally in love with Draco Malfoy, your boyfriend? You sighed.

You just weren´t the first one. The first one to break the tedious house stereotype, the first one the Slytherins would consider their friend. It was all her, all Angelica.

And so you were here, watching the two of them sitting next to each other by the Slytherin table. No one cared anymore. Everyone liked Angelica. She was beautiful and funny. The entire school knew Draco wasn´t the only Slytherin crushing on her. Of course you admired your best friend, she was one of the first people you had met when you had started attending Hogwarts and you had been friends since the day one. So you suppressed the pain.

You were thankful, though. If it wasn´t for her, you would have never met Draco. The truth was, you had fallen in love with him thanks to her.  

***

You had always thought he was this spoiled, evil, good-for-nothing prat and bully until Angelica introduced the two of you. You immediately clicked. You were both a little reserved. It wasn´t natural for Draco to spend time with non-Slytherins and you could see he was just as nervous as you were. To be honest, he hadn´t wanted to meet you. “One Gryffindor is enough.”

But he did.

And your friendship blossomed.  

No one questioned when you two were studying together or walked the halls of the castle together. Angelica had paved the way for you. But at the end of the day, it was still her bed and still her lips he couldn´t get enough of.

***

“Hey, stop staring, you look like a psycho,” one of your friends elbowed you and you quickly shook yourself out of your trance. “I´m not staring,” you swiftly replied, “I just got lost in my thoughts,” she was looking at you. Other friends were too. They weren´t blind but they understood your situation. That´s why no one had said anything so far. Then you noticed Angelica standing up and walking towards you. Did she see me? It was your first thought.

“Hey, bestie, Slytherins are having this secret party tonight. Blaise managed to steal some liquor from Slughorn the other day. And guess what, Y/N, you and I are invited!” she squealed. You were looking at her. Quiet. A Slytherin party? More of her and Draco being all over each other? Nah. “I´m sorry Angie, but I can´t. I have to stud-,” you were cut off by her furrowed brows and annoyed voice, “Study? Again? You always “have to” study, lately! It´s like you don´t even want to spend time with me anymore,” she put her two index and middle fingers in the air to mimic quotes.

Well, this wasn´t entirely false. You wanted to spend time with her, but not with her and Draco. “I´m sorry, Angie. I can´t.” you stood up, took your things and walked as fast as possible. You couldn´t go. It was already too much for you and Angelica was starting to notice that something was off.

You plopped yourself onto the grass and watched the Black Lake vibrating peacefully under the slightest touch of wind. How could you let this get so far? There was something calming about the goosebumps forming on your body from the wind. You closed your eyes and let out the frustration with a deep exhale.

“You´re a huge ass sometimes, you know that Malfoy?” you snarled at Draco who had managed to take your textbooks. You had been studying by the Black Lake but your mischievous friend had had other ideas. “You still love me though,” he smirked, and your cheeks turned red. Oh he was right. So right. He climbed onto the tree. “Let´s see,” and opened your textbook. “Draco, please, I really need to study! Can´t you go bully someone else? Perhaps someone who won´t punch you in the face like I will?” you stood under the tree with your hands on your hips, looking up at the happy face of the platinum haired boy.

“... then chop the valerian, add it to cauldron, and apply a high heat…” he read out loud. “Draco, are you seriously going to read my notes? Out loud?” you were getting nervous. “After that, juice…” suddenly, his loud, in that moment annoying voice stopped. His eyes roamed something in your book. His face changed. He was… in awe. “Draco? What did y-,”

“Draco Lucius Malfoy. Birthday, 5th June. Hair, pearly white. Eyes, grey like the ocean during a storm. An intelligent Slytherin. Amazing seeker. His favourite class is potions. Sorry, potions with Snape. Best friend, Blaise Zabini. Even though he just said he likes to spend time reading books more than spending time with him. His favourite colour is green, pft, so cliché. He loves apples. The green ones. Because, again, he loves green.” He was now looking at you. Your palms were on your forehead and your eyes were wide. Your words stuck.

“You really wrote down everything I told you about myself?” he couldn´t believe. You were still quiet, not really knowing what to say. Cheeks red, heart racing. “Y/N that´s… that´s amazing,” he was smiling. Draco jumped down from the tree, coming closer to you, handing you your textbooks. “I don´t want to forget anything,” you said quietly, looking into his eyes that were now tracing your face. His lips were slightly apart. You could smell his scent. Vetiver and apples would definitely become your favourite after being so close to Draco.

“Oh there you two are! I was looking for you all over the castle!” Angelica exclaimed and planted Draco a kiss on his cheek. You snapped out of your trance, looking at them. “Hey,” Draco turned to her and planted one on her lips. You raised your eyebrows a little and picked up your stuff, leaving them there.

“Hey! Y/N! Where are you going?” Draco yelled after you. But you acted like you didn´t hear him.

You really didn´t want to go. At first you hadn´t thought you´d be affected. But you were surely starting to be and being around them was just unbearable. It had even led you to consider cutting the ties and burning the bridges. But every time Draco had looked at you, you just couldn´t go through with it.

“My missus keeps complaining, Y/N, save me please,” you heard a voice behind you, and you rolled your eyes, keeping them fixated on the lake. “Oh, so now she sends you to talk some sense into me?” you snapped and pulled your knees closer to your chest. As if sending him was supposed to help. “You know how she is,” he sat down beside you, “she misses you. I miss you too, to be honest,” his voice was low and gentle. Your mind was running around how he just called her his missus. You couldn´t hide that it had made you a little angrier.

“I´m not going, Malfoy,” you stated coldly, putting your chin in between your knees. “Malfoy?” he laughed lightly, “someone´s grumpy. What happened?” his hand landed on your back and your alarm went off. He couldn´t keep doing that. “Nothing. I just don´t feel like socializing,” you answered and stood up the second his hand started to run circles on your back. He grabbed your hand.

“Y/N, please. I just want to make her happy,” oh damn his mixed signals, “and you make her happy.” What were you supposed to do? What were you supposed to say? It made you sick to your stomach. “I´m sorry, Draco, but as I said I-,”

“See! Here´s the Draco! You´re warming up to me again,” he laughed, “please, just sit down,”

“No.”

“What do you mean no? I will make you…,” he smirked and you looked down at him and at his hand still holding yours. Suddenly he let go of your palm and wrapped his arms around your legs, making you fall down onto the ground, pinning your hands above your head. “See, I told you,” he snickered and you started kicking your legs, your yelling slowly turning into laughing. He hovered above you.

“I swear I´ll kick you in your balls,” you growled but a smile was trying to form on your lips. “You wouldn´t…” he looked at you, face all serious, then turning into a wide grin. He was on top of you and your heart was beating just too fast for your comfort. All this was leaving you confused and furious. Your face fell. You pushed him off. “Enough, Draco,” you whispered, stood up and made your way to your dorm.

***

“Are you sure you don´t want to go?” your roommate asked you, handing you your own stolen firewhisky. “Why would I want to go?” you scoffed, drinking it like water. You were already a little buzzed. “To tell him. Everything. Or to yell at him. To scold him, lecture him, whatever, Y/N. But you should do something,” she said and took the bottle back. Something in you snapped.

Probably that was why you were now fairly drunk, stomping down the corridor to the Slytherin common room. You didn´t know what you planned to tell him, but you now knew you had to say something. You were already losing him to Angelica. Nothing mattered anymore.

“Y/N?” a voice echoed through the corridor and you turned around just to face the one boy you had been hoping to see, “I thought you didn´t want to come,” his eyebrows were raised but face still, emotionless. He almost looked annoyed.

“I didn´t. But I need to speak with you,” you stated, words a little sloppy. He narrowed his eyes. “Are you drunk?” he asked and took a step closer. You ran your hand through your hair. “Maybe. But that doesn´t matter. I´m angry with you,” you said boldly and lifted your chin. “That´s why you came? You said you´ve had enough of me.” Oh, so he was angry too.

“Are you really telling me you´re mad because I said that? Can´t you see what you´re doing to me?!” you really tried not to scream but when the Slytherin door opened Draco immediately dragged you into a dark corner. Loud music came out of the room but died down as the door closed. Your bodies were pressed together, hearts beating fast. His eyes fell on you and his hand rested on your waist. The time felt like it was frozen. But you pushed him away, again.

“See? I can´t be near you, Draco. Because every time that I am, I feel like a lunatic! You make me weak and I hate it. I can´t be friends with you anymore. I don´t love you like a friend,” there was a smile growing on his face, but you continued, “And you must be fucking blind not to see it. So I am sorry, but I can´t see you if I can´t have you. I-“ you were cut off.

By his lips.

On yours.

He pressed you against the wall and you let out a small whimper. He was rough. Almost hungry. His hand was at the back of your head, grabbing your hair as tight as he could, while he supported himself against the wall with the other. Your hands sneaked around his neck, to his hair and back to his cheeks. He was kissing you. You were kissing him. But he wasn´t yours to kiss. He was Angelica´s. He belonged to someone else. You stopped.

“Draco,” your breaths were heavy and deep, “this isn´t right.” He looked at you and caressed your cheek. “But it feels right…” he whispered and started leaving light kisses on your neck. “What about Angie?” you tried to stay focused but it was almost impossible. “I don´t care about Angie… you know that,” did you? “I´ve always cared about you. I thought you didn´t like me like that…”, he stated. You cupped his face. “Draco. Listen to me. I can´t be kissing you, when you´re with her. Make your choice. I did mine. You know where to find me,” you said and let him go. You lightly pushed him and walked away, leaving him to think through what you just said. But he didn´t have to.

He loved you. Just like you loved him. He had been feeling the same confusion, the same anger and had had same dilemma. It had been you all along. The way you knew him. Every single detail, because you cared. The way you looked at him and spoke to him. He knew he loved you and there was nothing to think about. A smile grew on his face as he turned around to run after you. To grab you, hold you, spin your around. Maybe he had liked Angie at first, but it was you he loved. It was his girlfriend´s best friend. And now that he knew your feelings towards him there was nothing that could stop him.

“I knew it,” he stopped as a voice bounced from the walls. His tall figure turned back around just to meet the eyes of a girl he had betrayed.

“That you love her,” her hands were folded on her chest and her gaze was cold. She was slowly approaching him. “But here´s the thing, Draco. You are mine. If you go running after her, I´m not going to ruin your life, but hers. I am going to make sure she´ll never finish school. I am going to make sure, she´ll be in constant danger. I am going to make sure she´ll believe in every single rumour about you. I am going to break her heart. Because no one takes what´s mine.”

[thericeballofcamelot]

I got an AI to write chapter 45 of My Immortal

Chapter 45.

“I will kill you!!� Dumbledore said he was so sorry I couldn‖t. I have been so pissed off at what the devil had said but I wanted to give my heart a good kiss!11 111” I yelled in amazement when Snape shot him. "Didn‪n‪ d be mad?!”

" Shark-attak!" Vold rimort whispered, shaking my face. I shouted into the air. “Oh my God I can� t do it, you idiot!!!11 111” I screamed again. I was so angry about this and said ․I just wanted to do it with Draco but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent! 11 111” I screamed again. “HOLD I CAN ST ILL!!!!11 111” I screamed again. ․THANK YOU!11 111 ” I ran after that. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo oooooo!!!!11 112 “ What the hell was going on?!" I shouted, but I could not believe that he'd been mad like this!11 113 ” When I started thinking I would kill me if I took that to death, it made my heart start to cry. I tried to calm myself up and was actually crying. "P-G-H" I exclaimed. ‐I wanted to be back but did this to avenge the Deathly Hallows of Hogs, I just wanted to have my body covered in red. I couldn't stop crying! 11 112 ” When I finally got in my vehicle, I tried to get out, but this scared my legs so badly. "Oh man!" I said, and the other one of the drivers jumped onto the wheel in shock. ‐I'm sorry. I just want to have my body covered with green because we have so many dead cows. I wanted to kill everyone for something. 12 113 ” I was going crazy with the screams and had to kill everyone for it. I wanted to kill people because we had so many dead cows. I tried to kill everyone, because of all the rage from my parents and all the rage from my parents. So I started to cry and cry again and again and again and again and again to show the people we all like my body... all this while getting up fast ... even for a girl like so close ! 13 144 I started trying to explain my feelings for the cow and its owner , and also the pain they suffered in the face of my brother. _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ * (I think my brother is a big fan of the idea of a blood bank ). _____ _____ _____ _____

Likes it? Please give it a read, but you won't get to write it in the comments!

Also, I have the opportunity to get a few comments for this post. This was an experiment to try to convince people that cows actually live on their own property. If you would like me to comment in your comments, please make a comment below !. _____

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It should only last as long.... I am not in an actual position. This post was created by a user named John. This may have caused problems. This author does NOT own Naruto .

[holykillercake]

Red String

𝕊ℍ𝔸ℕ𝕂𝕊 𝕏 𝕄𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕖!ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣

word count: 2.8k

summary: You had any place in the world to moor, a stable and safe summer paradise somewhere in the South Blue, or you could visit the winter island where cherry blossoms painted the freezing horizon pink. The world was on the menu, and yet you chose to break into a Yonko territory.

highlight:  ¨What about you, Y/N? Will you try to put your hands on me?¨ 

warning: Look out for your arm, it might melt with the fluff.

notes: Hi, guys! This was an anon request for Shanks x Marine Reader. I was given the freedom to write whatever I wanted, so I hope you guys like it! <3 Dear, anon, I apologize for the time it took and I hope you read it! 

𝕃𝕖𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕤, 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕤, 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖!

¨I have to say, not a usual place for a Vice Admiral to enjoy a vacation.¨ a smirk bent your lips as you heard the playful voice of the man who courted you with another drink. 

¨Well, I´m no usual Vice Admiral.¨

¨No one doubts that.¨ He put the sword on the table and pulled a chair, sitting close to you. ¨You have grown, Y/N.¨

¨You have aged.¨

¨Oi, not very nice. You hurt my feelings.¨ the red-haired placed the hand on his chest, over the heart, faking an offended tone. 

¨Mission accomplished.¨ 

You stared at each other for about four seconds before breaking into laughter. As always, Shanks was louder, banging his fist on the wooden table and vocalizing his amusement to anyone who had ears to hear. 

¨It´s been a long time, Y/N.¨ he wheezed, still recovering from his overreaction.

¨Yes, it has, Red hair.¨

¨Red hair? Really? I mean, you tried to kill me way too many times already. You gotta call me by my name.¨ You chuckled, sipping your drink. ¨Especially when you´re at my house.¨

You grinned, shaking your head and biting your lip. Of course, the bastard would not let this opportunity slip. 

After years of non-stop hard work, you received a few weeks off duty. That meant that the world could split open, the moons could fall into the atmosphere followed by the sun, and you would not have to move a single finger.  

Issho-san would handle that better in any way. 

You had any place in the world to moor, a stable and safe summer paradise somewhere in the South Blue, or you could visit the winter island where cherry blossoms painted the freezing horizon pink. The world was on the menu, and yet you chose to break into a Yonko territory. 

However, the Yonko in question was more than just an Emperor of the Sea. Your lives entangled at a very young age when the Pirate King was still alive, and Garp had melanin left in his hair. 

You were just two snotty brats fighting your Captains´ battles. 

¨Anyway,¨ he chugged his drink and asked for another one. ¨I missed you in Marineford.¨ 

¨Well, I guess I missed Marineford myself. Had a good view, though.¨ you answered nonchalantly. 

¨What do you mean?¨

¨I had an underling transmit me the whole thing.¨

¨Isn´t that handy?¨

You tried not to laugh. It was stupid, but every time you had Shanks and hand in the same sentence, you felt the urge to laugh.

¨I wanted to see Luffy.¨ you said.

¨Why not go there, then?¨

¨Duty called somewhere else.¨ you shrugged. ¨Besides, I would have been no help for him.¨

¨You´re saying you wouldn´t help him?¨ Shanks carried a suspicious tone in his voice.

¨Of course I wouldn't help him.¨ You took a sip of your drink. ¨But thanks... for stopping that madness.¨ 

The man casually stretched his arms above his head, tilting his head back, enjoying the warm sun.

¨No biggie. You owe me another one, and we should be fine.¨ he smiled.

¨Who´s counting?¨

¨I am.¨ 

¨I already stopped hunting you, Shanks. Isn´t that enough?¨

¨Not on my book, Y/N.¨

For a long portion of your life, you had a personal mission to give the Red Hair the same fate as his Captain. Whenever his crew was located, you would be the one hunting them. No one dared to tell you otherwise. 

By that time, you had no significant position. Maybe a Lieutenant, Captain tops. But being related to the Hero of the Marines, well, that granted you some free passes, and as long as you could hand Shanks´head in a tray, a little nepotism didn´t bother you. 

Actually, although everyone saw you as Garp´s relative, you were just his first protegé, his first rescued dog. Apparently, the highly ranked officers were going through boring times and decided to pay their dues by doing charity.

The only one you got to know was Sengoku´s kid. Rosinante was his name. To this very day, you could not think of him without the twist in your heart. 

Even you didn´t know how to describe it, and honestly, you didn´t care. Was the job done at the end of the day? Good. 

That was all that mattered until another pawn entered the game, a very troublesome one, by the way. Slept like a rock and ate all your food. You couldn´t help but fall in love with little Monkey D. Luffy. 

He was the one to give you the answer you had stopped looking for a while ago.

In order to be his older sister, you had to be Garp´s granddaughter. Everyone loved the idea, except for the man himself. 

You were as keen as Garp to make Luffy become a great Marine. You bought him tailor-made marine onesies and shared stories about the seas. Whenever he spotted you approaching with the leather book in your hands, he would get restless. 

The onesies, however, those never lasted. They were thrown in a boiling dumpster altogether with your dream of him joining you in a job one day.

The sun was about to set, and you had just returned from a long and intricate mission when you received a call from Makino saying that Luffy had gotten into some trouble. 

Not only that, The Red Hair Pirates were somehow involved. It was all you heard before hanging off the den den mushi and hopping in a Marine ship, headed to Foosha Village.  

The idea of Shanks causing Luffy any pain or just giving him a hard time made you turn into a beast. But your bloodshot eyes were washed clean by the image of your brother, safe and sound, hanging out with Red Hair, who seemed rather... different. 

¨Why would you do that?! What do you want, Red Hair?!¨ 

A lot of things went through your head, but none of them could explain why a pirate, why him, would sacrifice his arm to save Luffy. There was no way he didn´t know about your little brother´s connections. 

¨I want to pay you a drink. But only if you stop yelling.¨ 

With a swing of his hand and a smile, Makino appeared with a jug of beer before you could spit fire on him again. 

¨They´ve been really good at keeping Luffy entertained this past year, Y/N-san.¨ she said, kind as usual, before leaving.

You sighed and took a seat by his side. 

¨Why did you do that?¨

¨I bet on his life. Just that. Why is that a problem? You don´t want to feel grateful for a pirate?¨ 

Your grip tightened around the cold glass, teeth clenching and knuckles turning white. 

¨No.¨

Gratitude was never the problem. You would be grateful to anyone who risked their lives for Luffy, but he... you needed to hate him. But no matter how much you tried, you couldn´t get yourself to do it. 

¨I don´t want you thinking that I owe you anything.¨

¨You don´t have to owe me anything, Y/N. But we´ve known each other for a while now, so... we both know that you will.¨ 

His lips turned into an honest smile, no teasing behind it, and you wished not to have your heart beating faster for it. 

¨You don´t kn-¨

¨Y/N!¨ Luffy entered the bar, running to you with the brightest of the smiles on his face.¨Are you done? I have to show you something!¨ he asked, pulling the fabric of your coat.

¨Oi, behave Luffy, I´ll be done in-¨

¨Nooo!¨ he pouted before turning to the opposite side and pulling one of his impish grins ¨Look what I can do! Gomu gomu no...¨ 

His tiny hand balled into a fist, which you watched stretch all the way to the opposite side of the room before coming back and hitting him in the face. 

Did his arm just...      

The air froze in the room. You blinked a couple of times, hearing a few gasps around the bar, your gaze fixed in the same place his hand was seconds ago.

¨Luffy-kun, why don´t you come outside with me?¨ Makino extended her hand for him to take. ¨I´ll bring some meat.¨

The kid screamed in excitement and followed her, drool dripping down his chin. 

So close, Shanks. So close. He thought, lowering his head on the counter and waiting to get chewed up. However, after a few unscathed seconds, the red-haired lifted his head, almost not believe his eyes. 

That was the first and last time you bowed to a pirate. 

Of course, later on, you punched him for letting Luffy eat a Devil Fruit. 

You swore to leave him and his crew alone, as long as they did not cause bigger problems, which they eventually did, but you had a debt you could never pay, and you ended up focusing on other things. 

Those things made it difficult for you to visit Luffy as much as you wanted, but since Garp had sent him to live with Dadan, you could sleep with a clean consciousness. 

Whenever you paid him visits, he would tell you about these other kids, whom he considered brothers. One you got to meet, Sabo, smart and polite. The other, however, ran from you like you were a freaking plague. 

Ace, another one with whom you had an inestimable debt. 

¨Humor me, Y/N. If not Foosha, why here?¨

You shrugged.

¨I was passing by, and the place seemed quite enjoyable.¨ 

¨Hm.¨ the wind blew stronger, turning the gentle swishing of the palm trees into a harsher rustling. ¨Should I get my men ready for a conflict?¨

¨Relax, Shanks. Right now, this is the safest place on earth.¨

¨What do you mean?¨ he asked, genuinely curious. 

¨Oh, come on.¨ you scoffed. ¨Not even the World Government will try to put their hands on you, and I´ll kill anyone who dares to ruin my vacation.¨

¨What about you, Y/N? Will you try to put your hands on me?¨ 

His gaze was heavy on you, conquering aura filling the place. You looked at him with narrowed eyes and a smirk growing on your lips. 

This guy...

You harnessed the moment to take in his features, a lot more mature than you remembered. Although the scars were deeper and he seemed more tired, his hair shone like fresh blood, and his eyes... you were afraid to drown in them. 

¨What would you do if I decided to put my hands on you?¨ you bit your lip. ¨I heard you´ve been terrorizing some kids lately.¨

¨Gotta give them a run for their bounties, right?¨ He laughed. ¨But I also heard some interesting things about you, Y/N.¨

You raised your eyebrows as if you were encouraging him to tell you more. 

¨Apparently, I´m not the only one spending recreational time with young pirates. And there I thought Marines weren´t supposed to hunt Warlords of the Sea.¨

A shiver ran down your body, already aware of the subject he was about to bring up.

¨Well, I have no idea what you´re talking about.¨ You said, giving him your best oblivious eyelash bat. 

¨Oh yeah? Because it was brought to my attention that you made some business with... what´s his name again?¨ he pretended exaggeratedly to think about it ¨Ah, Trafalgar Law.¨

¨Only time I spoke to him, he was a Warlord as well. And I just wanted to thank him for helping Luffy in Marineford.¨

¨You´re gonna start lying to me at this point of our relationship?¨ Shanks teased to eager a bit of the tension, and a scoff left your mouth.

¨First, you´re delusional. Second, you´re too nosey for your own good.¨ 

The two of you laughed along like you were not natural enemies.

¨Did you get to meet Luffy in Dressrosa? Heard they made an alliance.¨

¨Hm, yeah. But no, couldn´t get myself to do it.¨

You frowned, hurting for have had your little brother so close but not being brave enough to approach him. Good thing he had no idea about your presence in the scene, and you could trust Law´s discretion to keep it that way. 

¨He doesn´t hate you, you know.¨

¨Yeah, I know...¨

That was true. Luffy didn´t hate you for not helping him in Marienford, just like he didn´t hate Garp for standing in his way. He had too big of a heart for that. 

Shanks let you have your time in silence, empathizing with your feelings. He too had to make sacrifices by standing his ground before.

¨What now?¨ he asked.

¨What now?¨ 

¨Garp is retired. Joker is down. What´s holding you back?¨

The air got stuck in your lungs. The reality you had been running from, the question for which you postponed to find an answer. 

When Garp took you in, the alternatives available for you were restricted, to say the very least. It was either accept the kindness of a stranger or die. He taught you his trade and molded you into one of the best-skilled marines. 

As the time passed and you learned the ugly truth behind the World Government, the disgust and disbelief made you want to leave. Fortunately, your life was not stained by the passage of a Celestial Dragon, but how were you supposed to protect them, aware of the atrocities they afflicted to people?

At the same time, how could you leave Garp after everything he did for you? Of course, he would survive if you disappointed him that much, but you owed him your life. 

What made you stay, however, was something much less pleasant than a lifetime debt. Thirteen years ago, evil prevailed, and you lost something really important. Or rather, someone. 

Commander Donquixote Rosinante. Marine code 01746. 

He had a sense of justice like no one else. He was strong, honest, and fair. Did he make you want to pull your hair out every time he lit himself on fire? Yes. Did it bother you to have stains on your tatami because he dropped hot tea on it? Yes. He possessed the ability to get you on your nerves, but he was your family. 

You were supposed to be the greatest. 

Long story short, that night, at Swallow Island, you left with more than just his dead body. You inherited his will. 

You swore to take down the man responsible for shortening his life, and hopefully, in a later day, you could meet the little boy about whom he spoke so highly. 

It took you thirteen years. No more ties of the past, no more strings on you. 

Well, just one, if you were to be entirely honest with yourself. A string of a stupid tale, a nonsense legend, a foolish myth. The Thread of Destiny, supposed to connect two people together. They say the thread may stretch or tangle, but it shall never break. 

Bullshit. There´s no such a thing. 

But assuming that there was, why did you feel that if you pulled it to its very end, what you would find would be red as well? 

Red as the vest Luffy wore diligently; red as the nose of a cranky apprentice; red as the pompous sails of the Oro Jackson; red as the locks of the man capable of stopping wars with words.

Would you dare to be anything else? Could you step out of your own life like this? Could you abandon everything you fought for all these years? 

¨You know, I´ve said it in the past, but I´ll say it again. We could use someone like you in our crew.¨ 

You gave him a two-second smirky scoff before frowning again. 

Were you worthy enough to owe yourself the chance to choose? What did it mean, the justice coat of a Vice Admiral you carried so proud on your shoulders?

If piracy took a lot from you in the past, could piracy, or a pirate, give you everything back? 

¨Y/N?¨

¨Hm?¨ You hummed, gaze locked on the lethargic view. 

Hot puffs of air played with your hair and involved your skin in a warm hug. You could hear the gentle sound of the waves crashing on the shore, coastal birds cooing and the wind whistling over the rocks. 

¨Do you think, maybe, one day... I could ask you out?¨

No matter how many times you rewound the tape, you couldn´t find a different answer, a plausible reason for the burning feeling you held for him, whatever that meant. 

From the first time you put your eyes on each other, a contract was opened without even a handshake. A deal was set without your acknowledgment. An ironic fate tied you to the same string. 

¨Yeah... maybe.¨

[timetroublingtrickster]

Tech Trick(s) 

Right after watching the 3rd Loki Episode I was about to come here and post:

If that hasn´t all been a ruse I´m going to RIOT!  

Now I´m at the point where I´m absolutely unwilling to believe Loki would get recklessly drunk (excuse me “very full”) during an apocalypse and neglectfully destroy their only option of escape and I´m more occupied with the question just WHEN and HOW Loki Laufeyson took over!  

I´m inclined to believe that at least (A) the broken TemPad was an illusion that Loki showed Sylvie Laufeydottir. Why?  > To get information about Sylvie & gain influence on the overall situation  Getting them “fake” stranded puts Loki in a position where he can have a conversation with her, judge her character, try to find out what her plans are and probably get her on his side or make her think he is on hers. Not only would he have time to work his “silver tongue” and get to know her and/or get to her with his conversation skills but additionally the way Sylvie would act within a possibly deadly apocalypse scenario surely would tell Loki a lot about her.   > To maybe portray himself as a bit more naive than he is?  Having a party with the people in the train would then have been part of setting the broken TemPad illusion up. “I just sat on it and it broke” would probably be hard to believe, but it also paints Loki in a certain light. Sylvie calls Loki a “clown”, “not a serious man”. This kind of hedonistic Loki is someone whom you would need to keep an eye on or else his irresponsibility could cause you trouble but this kind of “clown” is not someone from whom you would expect some serious scheming and plans.   I think Loki might be in the midst of trying to portray himself as someone Sylvie might underestimate.  [On a Sidenote: This would fit well with how they talk about plans in the episode. Sylvie is obviously invested in her “years in the making” plan, a comment Loki seems to wave aside a bit, just saying yes to placate her. Later Sylvie informs Loki that his getting in the train plan “wasn't even a plan.” and that “Plans have multiple steps.” This again paints Loki as simpler than he is. There´s more plan talk but I leave it at that.]  This would however still mean that they are dependent on the power source of the Ark (which I´m reluctant to believe see below) hence why I am having the suspicion that the “Trick” started earlier and (B) the TemPad was never truly “outta juice” 

“You don't know how to Recharge it.” “Of course I do. You're not the only tech savvy Loki.” I´m inclined to take his word there. Although he played it as masking his lack of knowledge, I do think that he actually might be tech savvy here. My current headcanon is that Loki, aside from beating time, actually has watched those TVA propaganda  training videos and absorbed all the information. Knowing what he is dealing with and how things work surely must be a key to whatever ambition he is following.  You got to know how things work to mess them up, you have to see the order to unravel it and create chaos.  

I´m betting Loki knows about the limits and capabilities of the TemPad and that one that seemingly needs recharging buys him some time with Sylvie and opportunities. Maybe Loki truly drained the TemPad of the energy to hand Sylvie a device that actually was not working, so she couldn´t see any trickery. Maybe he pulls out some battery device last minute, has had temporarily held the energy though some magic and has already put it back in a concealed TemPad. Or there was magic at play and the whole uncharged device was faked.  Wouldn´t Sylvie have noticed any magical tampering?  Thor needed to throw things at “Loki” to reveal his magic. While Sylvie didn´t touch the broken remnants of the TemPad she held the “outta juice” one and she could have more insight as magic user but the episode established that they both are not necessarily entirely familiar with each other´s magic.  >> It´s difficult to say just how much Sylvie know´s about Loki´s skills, but she does recognize them as not unremarkable and not something she can just act against. This seems to be proven by her action of not trying to just take the TemPad from Loki.  >> Loki´s familiarity with Sylvie´s skills is a bit trickier. When the first explosion hits he asks “Is that one of your powers?“, maybe genuinely wondering, maybe not. Mostly this episode is about one particular skill: Enchantment is not among the faves Loki lists to the TVA in his lecture mode. (On a side note: The “But you already knew that” (1x2) is so clever in that moment, it´s played as humble, as Loki coming out of lecture mode and “realizing” this, but it also tells us that he didn´t reveal any new information to the TVA or didn´t clarify any complex matter for them. Technically they should know everything anyway but I´m wondering if the show will show us something up Loki´s sleeves that they didn´t.) But later he remarks: “Enchantment is a clever trick. Cowardly, a bit amateurish, but clever” (1x2) It seems he is implying that he´s well versed in it but above it. However in 1x3 Loki asks how Sylvie´s Enchantment works. Which does not necessarily mean he is not familiar and skilled in Enchantement himself, but he might indeed not quite know just how Sylvie in particular works with it.  When Sylvie tries to enchant him, Loki points that out and says it won´t work, not because of him being a “magician” but because his “mind is too strong.” (1) Later he brings the power up again (2), not straight up asking how it works, but going for a more unassuming question of where she learned it.  “So, where'd you learn to do the... You know, the... Whatever it is?“ He shows himself impressed that she´s an autodidact.  Then he shifts to “how it works” and offers a quite simple thought “You just go into their minds and project some sort of illusion?“   The topic is dropped after Sylvie offers to just show him by enchanting him.  Later Loki tries another angle (3) he again is offering a faulty (!) presumption of how the Enchantment works. “Here's an idea. What if you enchanted me and you could walk for both of us? Or I take a nap in my subconscious, and then you could just wake me when we arrive.“ Sylvie points out that his is in fact not how it works. After some remarks about “tactical advantage” she actually starts to explain to Loki!  To which Loki says “And you call me a magician.“ again putting himself in the position of the lesser skilled one in this area. And I do think this might have been calculated and on purpose? I´m kind of talking myself into believing that Loki might know quite well how Enchantment works  &  I´m super surprised that Sylvie with all that inquiry about her skill never said something like: “Why would you want to know more about a cowardly, amateurish thing?!” Mirroring Lokis words from 1x2. 

Moreover I´m wondering if there was an additional motive of “actually” trying their luck with the Ark. “Never had us on it” Loki says, implying they could change things and make the escape vessel leave. Which could have an element of caring about the people?  Loki couldn´t act in Pompei, maybe he can here. Loki laments the fate of the woman that shot at them. “A pity the old woman chose to die, don't you think?” Then again he might just bring that up to gauge Sylvies reaction to it. He also made no attempt to help or ask her to come along. Then again that might not be a sign of not caring, but recognizing someone made their choice and respecting it.  Going for the Ark could also have an element of gauging his influence on the course of time? Pompei is long past for this Loki, this scenario is not and there is no TVA currently present. So far Loki already “uncovered a huge hole” in TVA security (1x2) and he knows that the TVA is pruning divergent paths, but he is also in the midst of seeing that they aren´t infallible and this might be a chance to just test things a bit. Maybe he has an interest in seeing if he (now) can have an impact in “hijacking the ark and making sure it gets off this moon”. Maybe it´s also to see how the TVA would deal with these new variant survivors and if they are currently even capable to do so. This could be a moment to reassure himself that his actions have an impact and an opportunity to find out more about how the TVA works. 

I do not think Loki would rely on hijacking the ark as a plan to get them to safety? If it is true that he does not know about this apocalypse, which is just given how many there are, likely, then the information Sylvie gave him is just not nearly enough to make a call like that. The Ark could have been stopped from leaving due to so many reasons and plenty far beyond their control and influence. Just like it happened. That would be an irresponsibly risky move.  [Loki s1ep03 “Lamentis”] What do you think? 

[beneaththemasks]

Beast, Fifteen, Dead Apple and Fyodor´s ability put togheter

The first time I watched Bungou I didn't pay much attention to be honest and that lead me to committing a big mistake and that big mistake is what brings me here today.

This is a theory I´ve been working on for a long time now.

Before anything else I have to tell you that this is something I came up with entirely by myself, I don´t know if anyone has already written something similar to this, so any similitude is pure coincidence.

DISCLAIMER: this contains spoilers from the manga and light novels and is quite long, so read at your own risk.

Any hateful comment will be simply ignored, this is just something I'm sharing with you because it makes sense to me and I want to know what you think.

Please excuse my english if it gets bad at times since it isn't my first language.

Let´s begin:

I´ll start talking to you about some guy named “Randou” who was presented in the light novel ''Fifteen” as the responsible for the mafia´s predecessor return and the Arahabaki incident.

For those of you who don´t remember him, here´s a picture.

Ok so, you might wonder why I'm bringing him up.

If he was supposed to be a forgettable face from the beginning, another extra character in the story, then why didn´t I forget him? Why do I mention him before anything?

The answer is simple: I can forget a face I´ve seen once or twice but not one I´ve seen thrice.

“What do you mean? we only saw the man one time” 

You´re totally right, however that wasn´t the case for me.

Confusing his face was the big mistake I made and the one that lead me to building this net of theories and clues that I'm putting together right here right now:

Even though the first time we see Fyodor´s face is at the ending of the second season and then again in Dead Apple, I remind you that I wasn't paying attention at all (like literally guys I already told you about how I would call tachihara “bad tanizaki” just because they looked the same to me). Due to my lack of attention, after finishing the “cannibalism” arc. and becoming more familiar with Fyodor´s face it occurred to me that he was the same guy involved in the arahabaki incident.

Why? because I can so I did.

My brain automatically assumed these guys were the same person just because they were dressed as if they were going to sleep on the top of the Everest for a whole month and because their faces were equally sad...

Of course, when I finished the anime and started reading the manga I was totally confused when Dazai asked Fyodor what his ability was, since I thought him and Randou were the same person, therefore I thought they shared ability.

After that I had to rewatch the whole anime and then realized how high I was when I watched it the first time.

But even when I managed to get the whole story right I still couldn't stop thinking about Randou, he was still a mystery, but more than the man himself, his story and the order in which they were presented by Kafka were somehow strange.

So after reading “Beast'' I came up with a few theories about the book being canonically in that alternate universe, because for me, even if Beast was supposed to be just a spin off written to promote the release of Dead Apple, it couldn´t be that and only that.

I just can´t accept  that “Kafka wrote a 200-page novel to promote a movie that had nothing to do with it when he was asked to just write a 50-page short story” because he just felt like doing it. I knew from the deep bottom of my heart that he was not the kind to write just for fanservice.

So I came up with this idea: “What if the release of Beast and fifteen are more important than we think?”

Despite the first time we see fyodor´s face being at the end of the second season, the first time we see him meeting Dazai, is during dead apple. However, he seems to be just an extra character, someone who doesn't seem to add much to the story at first sight (except for when he turns Shibusawa into a big dragon).

But if we think about it, the same happens with the mentioning of the book in “Beast” and with Randou´s appearance in “Fifteen”.

In these three stories, the book, Randou and Fyodor are like an app running in the background of your cell phone, they are responsible for some kind of event and or incident that we cannot see now but that eventually will go out to light.

These are all very small hints, but that's why it is important, the smaller the better.

We can´t forget that Kafka has always been a mastermind of hiding evidence in plain sight.

He wrote and published 3 stories at the same time  that have nothing in common and then used them to promote each other. He decided not to wait any longer nor release them earlier because they´re relevant to each other even when they don't seem to be. They are like a building in the middle of the city, we see it but we never get the chance to observe it because of all that's happening around it.

But as far as we know Randou dies at the end of fifteen. How could he possibly be related to Fyodor if they never met?

The importance here is not his death or them meeting, maybe not even Randou himself but what happened before his entrance to the PM and after his death.

As far as we know, Randou used to be an european spy tasked to investigate a powerful entity of power in japan and sent to steal it. However, during that mission he was betrayed by his friend who tried to kill him but is Randou who ended up killing him instead.

Nevertheless, in the story we never get to know why his friend betrayed him nor what is that so called “source of energy” that the japanese government has been secretly guarding.

we 

never

know

until now (?)

Towards the end:

What if that “source'' is actually the book itself and his friend tried to kill him to keep it for himself and escape with it? 

Even more important:

What if Randou, after killing his friend, decides to steal the book but forgets about it and it´s power after losing his memory in the Arahabaki incident? 

These explanations can perfectly fill a void we never even noticed was there: Randou dies without remembering that he has a very important item with him, which is the reason for which he was once chased by the GSS (an agrupation that is connected to the Guild who we already know was searching for the book as well) and the same Dazai could have stolen after the Port Mafia kept his belongings when he died.

Please please pleaaaaaaseeee finish the idea.

After writing for 2 days, tying knots and untying them, reading and rereading, remembering details and searching for others i couldn't remember, this is my final conclusion:

 Fyodor´s ability could be nothing more and nothing less than the book itself.

The proof of that being:

-All we know is his ability “Crime and Punishment” is presented as a perfect complement to one another. When he explains why Sibusawa´s mist didn't affect him he says “it´s because crime and punishment are good friends” which can mean that for one to appear, the other has to do something, that is to say, he has to commit a crime to receive punishment.

-We can assume that as someone whose objective is to free everyone from the sense of morality (as Gogol explains) he's the one to decide whether he commits a crime that deserves punishment or better said, his ability “the book” that can only function following the rules of karma.

 -He probably doesn't need to communicate with the outside at all and is trying to deceive Dazai since the plot is going according to his plans and to how he planned to write the story on that single page.

-We know he has a page since the beginning and he also knows everything that´s written on it (for example that sigma´s existence was written on it 3 years before) but it's never mentioned how he got it.

-He literally joined the Guild to search for that book (´cause it belongs to him).

-Despite everything, Dazai is not worried about his plans either (he says all he has to do is observe him) because he's confident that everything is gonna turn out in his favour (you can see the little bitch didn't mind sending Akutagawa to his own death) since he stole the book from Randou long ago.

-What Dazai could've done with the book is nothing more and nothing less than creating the “Beast”  universe after leaving the PM just to give Oda a proper farewell and because since he discovered the real power of that book he decided the best was to hide it.

However none of them can reveal any of this for obvious reasons.

Well I´ve nothing more to say, this is all I have for the moment.

 I know some of these ideas sound very complicated and even excessive, however in the end everything fitted perfectly to me (and I swear I came up with 3 different theories before putting this one together).

If you managed to read this far, thank you very much :,)

If you feel like commenting something feel free to do so :)