#I had to google the fucking date because I was so disoriented

[insanityislife101]

When you nap so damn hard you have to figure out what day it is

[alirhi]

How I'd have done TFATWS pt 1

Okay, I am such a whore for positive attention that, yes, it literally only takes one person expressing interest to get me to do something lol. So, for the lovely @goblin-tea, here is how The Falcon and the Winter Soldier would have gone for Bucky if I'd been a writer on the show!

Also, shoutout to @gunshou, who popped up showing support when I was in the middle of writing this lol 😘

Episode 1: New World Order

I actually love how most of this episode was handled; it's what drew me into the show in the first place, and gave me such hope for the rest of it. Most of the changes that I'd make here are pretty minor, tbh.

I'd specify the setting in some way for Bucky's nightmare. Obviously, since he was there and knows what happened, when, and where he was, it wouldn't be like the setting changes in movies where they slap a big, bold title card over the scene. Still, I'd probably open with a brief establishing shot showing the city skyline or something; some identifying feature so that viewers can work out where this happened without needing a direct statement from Marvel (note: if you need to directly address your audience to clarify something from within your story, you're a bad storyteller). What year did this take place? I show technology from the time; perhaps a dated cell phone in someone's hand. The point is to establish where and when The Winter Soldier killed RJ Nakajima, without detracting from the emotional impact of the scene. Why does it matter? Because we should know why. Why is Bucky dreaming about this particular incident? Was it his last mission before the events of CA:TWS (a theory I see frequently repeated but with no evidence to back it up)? Was it earlier on? Is RJ only on the forefront of Bucky's mind because of his (unhealthy, but we'll get to that) friendship with Yori? How long has Yori been suffering under the weight of his grief?

I would not have had him crash through the wall, btw. As cool as that shot looked, let's try to remember that The Winter Soldier was a ghost story for 70 years. Ghosts don't leave giant gaping holes in hotel walls. I'm not saying brazen wholesale destruction is out of character for him (obviously not. I've seen CA:TWS lmao. many times. this moment lives rent-free in my brain:

found on google without credit; pls lmk if it's yours so I can credit.

but you don't become a "ghost story" if you always leave that much evidence, ijs)

I'd leave the terrible therapy session alone. That scene was beautiful. Beautifully shot; I loved how claustrophobic it felt, and it really did a wonderful job of showing how Bucky felt on the spot, scrutinized, almost put on display for this bitch woman. This scene establishes Raynor as clearly wrong, and an unprofessional mess, and Bucky calls her out on it. I fucking love that!

lmao gods, I love his painfully awkward forced smile... Guys, this episode is fkn great. (betcha weren't expecting so much praise from me, were you? 😂)

"You're free." "To do what?"

👆👆👆 In my show? That would have more of an impact on Bucky's arc. That question would be one of the underlying issues moving his whole story along. Twice in this show, he's told that he's free, but no one addresses what he's free from, much less what he's free to do next.

It's a minor thing, but when Yori tells Bucky to ask Leah out? I'd have Bucky do more than just shake his head in silent horror. Not much more, just something that matters to me as someone who's worked in the service industry for many, many years and dealt with too many creepos: Bucky would flat-out say "she's at work! that's harassment, Yori!"

Yori can still stomp right past that boundary, and Leah can still smile and agree. I just really want someone to verbally acknowledge that you don't fucking ask someone out when they're at work. Ever. Bucky cringing and apologizing puts the power of the conversation back in Leah's hands; it gives her an out to politely decline if she's not interested, and just laugh off Yori's flirting on Bucky's behalf as a senile old man being silly, so I'm actually fine with how this scene turned out. I just would personally have gone that extra inch there for the idiots in the audience who don't get Bucky's subtle "wtf" reaction and why Yori's suggestion was so bad. If someone's livelihood depends on being nice to you, keep your goddamn distance. Flirting with them or asking them out when they're at that big of a disadvantage and have virtually no power to say "no" is harassment.

Here is where I'd make one more subtle change, too. When Yori sees the mochi and is reminded of his son, and tells Bucky about his death, I'd just slip in a time frame. "x years ago, my son was..." blah. (Guys, it really bothers me not knowing when that scene took place rofl can you tell?)

One complaint I've seen a lot online about this show is how it's a bit murky on just how well known Bucky is in-universe. He can walk around Brooklyn with more or less total anonymity, but he's also recognized as "an Avenger" (when he was never actually technically in the group)... but honestly? I think it's actually pretty realistic. Just because someone's famous doesn't mean every single person on the planet knows who they are and what they look like well enough to instantly recognize them on the street. People look different in photos than in person, and pre-Blip, Bucky had the complete Jesus look - long flowing hair and a full beard. In TFATWS he's a little scruffy, but not this:

Sebastian looks like about 10 different men from one moment to the next just irl with a change in haircut, lighting, expression, whether or not he got enough sleep the night before... 😂 I don't really find it hard to believe that people not expecting to bump into an Avenger would have trouble seeing Bucky post-haircut as anything other than just another attractive white guy.

Anyway! Sorry for the segue lol. On to the date!

Earlier in this very same goddamn episode, it is established that Bucky can remotely operate a car with a tablet. This is not a technologically-inept geezer. This is a 30-something nerd who loves new technology, who, yes, is facing a brave new world and a whole lot of new technology, but has never shown any issue picking it up. The crappy flip phone he handed Raynor earlier? a burner to keep her out of what little personal life he does have (we never see it again in the real show, anyway). The "tiger photos" line? Stays, not to show Bucky's floundering ineptitude with technology, but as a little nod to his bisexuality. (don't like it? don't wanna see Bucky as bi? go watch the show and read Skogland's borderline-offensive interviews. This isn't "how I would pander to a homophobic audience" it's "how I would have written it." the "Bucky is bi" interpretation is super fucking common and has been since TFA so bite me 😁)

Tiny nitpick, but I'd also have the Battleship boards actually set up properly lmao. What even was that? Anyway...

I don't think I'd have Leah get all ranty about Yori and RJ. That's not first date talk, for one thing. For another, let's ease up on the beating Bucky and the audience over the head with that one incident in a single episode, shall we? Instead, I'd have her stick with the date questions - she asked his age, asked about his family; I'd have her follow it with questions about what he does for a living (giving us a chance to not only actually have that question answered for us - how the hell does Bucky keep himself from being homeless? lol - but also set up...)

He shuts down a little when she starts asking about his past; she's innocently curious, just trying to get to know him, but he's flinchy and deflects with questions about her. The date is awkward, but doesn't abruptly end with him running away lol. He walks Leah home, like the old-fashioned gentleman he is, goes home, himself, and end on him grimacing in his sleep, in the clutches of another nightmare: not as much detail as the RJ murder scene, we see disjointed, disorienting images of fluorescent lights glinting off of machinery, the occasional shot of Bucky writhing in the chair, a shot of that damned notebook (to remind the dumber audience members why Raynor's passive-aggressive notebook thing was so triggering for him), and we hear echoes of a couple of the trigger words, and Bucky's screams.

[hoefette]

All the petty things I hate about fate!winx and their shitty universe/world building because

I'd added most if these in tags of other posts but I'm still so mad lmao

The way characters, Aisha and Mrs Dowling specifically make references to explicitly human or American things like instagram and Harry Potter

These people are from a different dimension for ffs why are they concerned with or are even aware of this very earth-specific shit? Do they teach earth classes at school over there?

I understand not wanting to have them be oblivious so Bloom wouldn't have to explain it to them, but it simply could be ✨omitted✨

Why would you go out of your way to date your work like this lmao ew

Ms. Dowling calling Tinkerbell an air fairy.. I cannot breeve with the stupidity why did they keep that in there

Why is Ms. Dowling.. the headmistress.. teaching classes? Where are the other teachers?

We ended up with a trio of antagonists (I guess you could call them that?) by the end of the season anyway so why not give us the trix, why have the characters play double roles as friends of our protagonists and also the villains/bullies? They clearly wanted a delinquent trio, in which case they could've gender bent the trix if they wanted to keep all the unnecessary sexual tension.

It just feels like the production team was lazy, they didn't want to hire more actors, they didn't want to bother with making the world immersive or lived in or believable at best, they just didn't give enough of a fuck

They wanted to make this show and attatch Winx to it for.. what? Like did you even google the main plot points? The abridged version or sparknotes to get details on the very literal, basic characteristics of our main characters or their roles or the world they inhabit????

It lacks wonder and intrigue.. I mean Bloom moves to another dimension, a school for fairies and we don't see her marvel once at anything.. and that's because she might as well have been in Switzerland because she's in exactly the same environment she would've been in over there anyway.

They could've said Alfea was in Europe and I'd believe it because nothing about the setting makes it feel otherworldly. I'm sorry but I'm not impressed.

Why do the teachers and graduated specialists communicate via facetime ?? In the magic dimension. ??? Why do they text each other and those texts then appear on screen like .. oh look, like a bad netflix teen movie ????? HELLO ??? it's the way technology and magic could've blended in so seamless into the world THE WAY IT WAS ALREADY DONE/SHOWN. Missed opportunity. it just takes you out of it imo every time you see the ugly, bland, gray text bar. Some fucking flavour pls I'm begging

How stupid the specialist must feel clonking around with the skinniest shreds of armor, plastic swords on their backs and battery powered flashlights and cellphones in their bags. R we larping?? I know I'd be laughing and asking why we hadn't already come up with something more effective .. idk like guns. I'm surprised I ain't see one gun in there.

In the beginning Ms. Dowling says some nonsense about fairies having lost the ability to transform to explain why there are no wings, which means they could've transformed before. So are we to assume that this supposed to be set in the time proceeding the original then?? Because something is not adding up with where they should be as a magical society technologically if that's the case

How does the production team want to keep the dark academia vibes with torches lining the walls and also want them to be face timing each other, presumably from miles and miles away in the dark forest???

Pls pick an aesthetic and stick to it everything was so unnecessarily dark. Where do they charge their phones since it's the only device we see that is the slightest bit modern and dont fucking tell me they charge it with magic I will punch you in the face

Why is there only one major monarchy that we are shown? Why are Solaria the only ones contributing to the efforts to defend the school and where is this mysterious battalion we never see lmaoo it's all so bad its laughable.

Is this set in the kingdom of Solaria? And why does the queen of an alleged interdimensional superpower monarchy pull up in black SUVs??????????? Why does she pull up with Andreas?? Is he not the king of Erakleon?? Where are his soldiers and his battalion and just?? Huh!? The world just feels empty like nobody lives here fr

Are we supposed to believe that the specialists get paired up with fairies just as a normal occurence and that they have to 'trust each other' and not because the plot demands it suddenly half way through when all we've seen so far are the fairies doing normalish school and homework, and the specialists outside, being physical everyday all day. This was never even implied that they'd have to work together apart from when we see the faculty as youngins with Rosalind. But even then.. it's like well why are they even together lmao? Is this a special team formed from Rosalind’s protégées? Were they formed after graduating from Alfea or what is this?? Are they the ONLY team of specialist/fairies hunting every single burned one?? What?

Are we now supposed to buy that Musa is being switched to 'support' because that's where her strengths lie and not in combat?? Are we supposed to believe that these girls know hand to hand combat?? When was this established? We see Terra wrapping some baby vines around a dude and I'm sorry is that the practical application of her power? Is this what the fairies are supposed to do once they graduate? Or is it just a switch in curriculum because of the threats outside the barrier?? This is never made clear.

Because if not then what's the point of this?? Why do they suddenly have endless classes together when the expectation was never set for the fairies to be like soldiers or out in the field fighting ?

Where exactly are they supposed to be what was the purpose of including Aster Dell and why is it a joy ride away from Alfea lmao?? Where Bloom is from and also not from?? Plot pls make it make sense

Why are fairies from another dimension vaping or smoking weed?? They are not human so why are they engaging in specifically human vices, yol couldn't come up with anything else to characterize 'delinquents'?? Very lazy very como se dices.. no effort. Nothing a little more spicy yol could invent, at least change the name and some properties holy shit did yol even try ??

So its fairies everywhere, having a lil party in the east wing of a phat castle.. and they are playing beer pong and dressed in t shirts and jeans..

Can you hear me screaming? Can you hear me vibrating with rage?

Not one floating decoration or magical anything in sight. Just purple lights and subpar vibes

Stella's costume design: tragic. I won't discuss further because we don't have the space or time but just know that it was absolutely atrocious and I hated it. Giving very debutante vibes

The entire budget going to that lame transformation sequence that was not a transformation sequence and those horrible, barely-there fire wings

Edgelord bloom and all her fucking leather jackets. Why do 30 yo, white cis men think girls exist in a binary? They could keep her earlier characterization and make her a hothead.. Bloom literally screamed herself into a couple power upgrades in the original come ooonnnn

Let girls be feminine without it being a character flaw what is wrong with yol its 2021. They could make her more mature, more angsty or whatever the hell else and not style her like that

The way Aisha's abilities flipflop between episodes and scenes. Very inconsistent. One minute she's struggling with a drop of water and the next she is moving an entire body of water for her bestie Bloom to fake transform because the plot demands it. Why even add in her struggles at all if you're just going to ignore it?

Why was Stella with them in that scene? She didn't do anything literally.. Aisha pulled the water and she did .. nothing.

Who the fuck is Rosalind? Why would they add her in,, to add nothing to story? The company of light was a thing, they could've plucked one of them hoes to be the antagonist. Why did the winx club need their own Delores Umbridge? Valtor was right there if you wanted an evil educator type character.

The camera work was so bland during the down beats, stagnant and fixed during a fairy party and erratic and ugly and disorienting during the fight scenes

I'm not getting over the fairy party because it was a good opportunity for the production and everyone else to show the differences between where Bloom was and where she is now but instead it just looks like a regular teen high school party?? This could have been set in Switzerland fr.

Everyone's just kind of standing?? You mean to tell me these people are from all different places in the magical dimension and their customs are all the same? They all throw parties like this ??

White and flavorless I am very bored

I guess the main question or takeaway I have is just.. who is this for? Because everyone, including the showrunners keep saying that it's for us, the fans of the original. But apart from the characters sharing some names, there are really no other similarities. So again, who was this supposed to appease or placate or satisfy? Because it sure as hell wasn't the winx club fans.

Overall, this feels very much like something I wrote and probably published on ff.net when I was 13 because I thought girls couldn't be taken seriously if they liked pink, and injected angst into everything that didn't need it and had no idea how to structure scenes or dialogue. It's just bad, objectively and N*tflix will keep making shit like this because apparently some people have bad taste??? Idk yol, be easy

[gascon-en-exil]

But What If You Want to Come Out on Vers Bottom?: A “Coming Out on Top” Review (Part 4)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

All that’s left now are the ten Brofinder dates. Because there’s so many of these and because they’re all fairly short with only a few variations in how they can go down I’m not going to be spending much time on each - just a quick overview of the stories as well as an evaluation of the inevitable sex. The quality does vary a fair bit, although it’s all subjective as to which are better depending on what kind of story you’re looking for as well as, in some cases, your kinks.

Jake

Comes with a fairly obvious death condition, a sequence in which Mark and Jake get to nerd out over The Legend of Zelda, and another in which Jake lectures Mark/the player on the virtues of polyamory. I’ve always been poly-friendly myself, and the lecture does lead into a - thoroughly random - train scenario, but to say it’s not how you’d logically expect this date to go down is a bit of an understatement. Jake never even takes his shirt off, so in place of a body hair toggle he gets one to dye his hair pink for whatever reason. It’s a shame too, because at the start of the date there’s some discussion over Jake’s weight and how he should be confident in his size and his unusually elaborate buffet eating strategies.

Tommy

Like Jake’s date Tommy’s rapidly goes to some unexpected places, but in his case those places entail getting kidnapped and forced to talk through the failures of the criminal justice system at gunpoint. There are more than a few chances to get a quick game over, some funnier than others, but if Mark survives to make it to Tommy’s place he’s greeted by a brief but hot round of sex with the one man in the cast whose dick size is talked up even more than Brad’s. In this case it may actually be warranted; the girth of that thing looks positively inhuman in the CGs, so, rejoice if you’re into that.

Frankie

This guy talks an outlandishly highbrow game that he very clearly can’t deliver on, and having a successful date with him requires Mark to be as aggressively honest as possible as a means of badgering Frankie into admitting to all his unsubtle deception. The man underneath them may just be a more pathetic prospect than Mark himself, but at least the player gets treated to as good a striptease as this game can deliver with its assets followed by sex on the beach...literally, not the cocktail. This date reserves inexplicably dirty names of that nature for gelato of all things.

Luke

The absurdity only continues to build as Mark is invited to “Streamflix and chill” by an Irish frat bro who doesn’t know what that term means because apparently this universe’s Netflix knockoff doesn’t exist in Ireland. It’s up to the player to smoothly guide Mark through a showing of an inspirational story about a narcoleptic rugby player to get to the grand prize of a chance to quietly blow Luke under the blankets when his housemates could walk in at any second (or provide off-the-cuff commentary on Brokeback Mountain, as it happens). There’s also a dream CG at the end featuring yet more sports roleplay sex, as if Brad’s route didn’t offer enough of that. My favorite part though is Luke complaining about American bars not serving alcohol past 2 AM, as I agree with him that it is utterly barbaric.

Cesar

As should be apparent, this is the one with cop sex. Mark gets caught up in a drug sting, and depending on how the player feels about Ian’s suggestion of bringing along ranch dressing (or rather, ranch dressing mix) to the supposed siesta the specific type of cop sex will either be a fairly standard round of Mark bottoming or one of the only finger-fucking sessions in the game. Either way Mark will be resisting arrest as well as sexually harassing a police officer following what was very obviously a setup targeting cruising gay men, but because this is an erotic dating sim and every man in it wants Mark’s ass let’s all withhold our reservations regarding the ethical ramifications of this entire scenario. I have no trouble doing so, although that’s mostly because cop sex does nothing for me. 

Terry

Well, color me surprised - if not terribly aroused - because at long last we have a twink. There seems to be a thinly-veiled pop culture reference here, to something like a younger Justin Bieber or one of those guys from One Direction, but as wild as this date ends up going I find it hangs together rather well even without working as an allusion to any specific celebrity. Mark finds himself billed as the winner of a date with a pop star, and hilarity ensues as he encounters screaming fangirls, a creepy stalker trying to get locks of Terry’s hair, and a karaoke contest in a dive bar where New Orleans gets name-dropped because this city is mentioned in so many songs and where Mark “rocks the hell out of” Schubert’s Ave Maria, somehow. The sex itself is a novelty, with the choice coming down to either Mark giving a rimjob while Terry performs autofellatio or Mark pounding some twink ass. A post-coital hair snipping for the stalker is optional.

Donovan

This man has some hang-ups, and I still can’t decide whether they’re hot or not. At first pass this date is a bite-sized deconstruction of what Dream Daddy could have been had it been interested in actually examining the kinds of relationships it claims to center around - Donovan is a literal father, divorced and new to the dating scene and clearly uncomfortable with many aspects of it up to and including the very sexualized concept of gay daddies. His attempts at flirting and blending in at a gay bar are awkwardly endearing, but as I suggested with Alex I think CooT wants to have it both ways by having Donovan opine about being treated like a daddy...when he looks the way he does and while he’s buying drinks for a guy more than ten years his junior. Even his attempt at more authentically bonding with Mark via an impromptu woodworking tutorial quickly pivots into innuendo and heavier flirting leading up to the inevitable sex scene (although the player should note that in order to get said sex scene you’ll have to know a little about what Donovan is teaching Mark as well as allow him to step away for a heart-to-heart with his teenage son). What follows is shower sex where Mark tops his bull of a date - so if you’re into big hairy bottoms and didn’t get enough from some of Amos’s options this is your story.

Oz and Pete

No Grindr analogue would be complete without a partnered relationship looking for one more, and in truth this date earns some major points for realistically capturing the mix of awkwardness and sensual chaos that comes from jumping in bed with an established couple. This includes crossed wires on who’s using the shared profile, a bit of informal relationship counseling, and the messy but inevitably uneven bonding Mark does with either Oz or Pete. There are two successful paths to this date according to which of them Mark spends more time with at the bar, with each of them building up to a particular type of fetish sex that the two of them haven’t discussed with one another until now. For Oz (on the left) that’s double penetration, while for Pete it’s cuckoldry with some bonus rimming and felching in the scene itself. This is admittedly one of the more physically demanding scenarios Mark can find himself in, especially if he favors Oz, but as I said it’s handled with a surprising amount of realism. Plus there’s a comment before the date that sort of handwaves Mark’s pre-sex stretching that goes along with an utterly ridiculous (mental) image, so I’ll let it slide.

Theo

This one is interesting, to say the least. Mark is paid to pose as Theo’s fiancé at his ten year high school reunion, as part of a ploy to show off how successful Theo has become and rub his former bullies’ noses in it. In addition to the usual wacky humor - and cameos from both Penny and Ian - this is a story with a fair bit of heart to it depending on how Mark deals with the situation. He can either play the perfect partner and earn Theo the recognition he craves...or he can go as absurd and over-the-top as possible but don’t try rickrolling the bullies because that’s a step too far, making a spectacle of himself and teaching Theo a valuable lesson about not caring about the opinions of the people who used to mock him. Provided the date’s a success in one form or another Theo will proffer the above Dom/sub scenario, and Mark can respond either by agreeing to be a sub (either in the comparatively vanilla sense if he was sensible at the reunion or as a pup if he went overboard with it) or by flipping the script and making Theo his sub for the evening. They could have done a lot more with the pup play considering it’s just the sub version with a collar and canine sound effects, but there’s already more logical bang for your buck going on in this date than in around half of the others.

Hugh and Jesse

This is...I can’t even....

Okay, whatever. It’s the last one. It’s not a date, properly speaking, but is accessed if Mark chooses to play with himself on the Brofinder menu. He gets high off some incredibly dubious weed given to him by Ian and proceeds to get intimately acquainted with his goldfish Slurpy in what is CooT’s second-heaviest icthyophilic moment (Google for #1, I already said back in Part 1 I’m not going there). If he calls for an ambulance he’ll be taken under the care of a pair of twin EMTs who make up for what they lack in professionalism with the kind of zany determination you’d expect with a setup like this. At that point it’s the player’s choice of a spit roast or a combo blowjob and rimjob. Adding to the overall disorienting effect of this “date” is the game experimenting with perspective and its visual assets in ways rarely seen elsewhere and that honestly don’t work very well. There’s only so much you can do with such, ahem, stiff portraits.

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 31

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.5k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- thanks for being patient btw! i work a lot these days and will work even more in the next few weeks (until halloween) so i may not update as often as i’d like. :(

- note for this chapter: i hope its not too bad. im scared ppl are gonna lose interest tbh. and i know, so many dialogues but it was needed!

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 31 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I woke up the next day a bit disoriented. I couldn't remember when exactly I fell asleep but as soon as my eyes opened, I felt my lips curl. Niall was laying next to me and we were both facing each other. He was still asleep and I brought my hand to his cheek, making him whimper very low. Slowly, I moved closer and pressed my lips on his gently, leaving a small and soft kiss on his mouth. His eyes fluttered half-open and when he saw me, his lips curled. It made my bite my bottom lip when I realized I hadn't seen him this happy in a while. Niall was someone who was always smiling but at this exact moment, it was even more than that. Or perhaps it was the reflection of my own happiness that I could see on his face.

He didn't say anything, he just moved closer to kiss my lips again, making them curl. I brought my hand over my mouth and smiled more.

"Hi."

He chuckled and also brought his hand in front of his mouth.

"Hi." he repeated. "Morning breath?"

"Would be bad if it was the first impression you had of me in the morning."

This time, he laughed and i felt my heart melt in my chest.

"I've smelled your morning breath and been a witness of more." he pointed out with what I guessed was a smirk from the way the corner of his eyes moved up. "Those little futile things won't change my love for you."

I could feel my heart flutter at the same time than my eyes when I heard his words.

"I woke up facing you like this so many times. I've wanted to kiss you so many times. This is the first time I actually do it. I never thought I would."

He stared at me and took his hand away. He was not smirking anymore, just smiling softly at me. I never thought Niall would ever look at me this way. I wouldn't have dared to wish for it.

"Fuck morning breath." he just said moving closer to me and getting half his body on top of mine before pushing my hand gently away and kissing me. It took me a few seconds to allow him to deepen the kiss but eventually I did. I closed my eyes, enjoying the way he kissed me and the warmth of his body over mine until he groaned in my mouth. "How did you sleep?"

I tried to think of an answer but all I could focus on was the way his lips ran down on my neck and how good they felt on my skin. I wanted to lock myself with him in his room for weeks like our own private and deserted island, leaving reality behind.

His phone started ringing and he groaned, his lips stopping on my collarbone. He simply sighed and I grimaced before he got up and searched for his phone through the pockets of the pants he wore the day before. It was not his type to leave dirty clothes on the floor but it seemed like both of us were distracting the other and I couldn't hide that I liked it.

"Hello?" he quickly answered without checking the caller ID... and with the way his face changed, I believed he shouldn't have had. "Oh hi."

I sat in bed and tilted my head, feeling suddenly a bit stressed, wondering who was on the phone but also annoyed, because whoever it was, they were clearly disturbing our alone time like some sort of ship running aground on the beach of my private island. I pushed on the covers and turned to face him, crossing ,my legs as I sat on the end of the bed.

"No, sorry, I'm busy tonight." Niall continued, turning to look at me before sending me a small smile. "I'm spending time with my girlfriend."

I held my breath and Niall stopped moving. After a few seconds, he raised his eyebrows and rolled his eyes. "No, I don't mean my friend who is a girl, I really mean the girl i'm officially dating. My girlfriend." Silence. "Okay, bye."

He hung up and sighed, throwing his phone on the bed and looking through his drawers for a clean pair of boxers that he just took out.

"Who was it?" I didn't want to seem invasive but the question was burning my lips.

"Oh." he just said with a shrug, glancing at me. "It was Heidi."

The simple mention of her name made my heart jump in my throat, making me slightly nauseous. I was not sure if it was because I was jealous or scared but all I knew was that Niall had sex with her a few times and that it was probably why she was calling. I wanted to ask him to delete her number or even block it but I knew I couldn't. I was trying not to be that kind of girlfriend, the type who gets insecure about every little thing that happens, and every girl her boyfriend talks to, but it wasn't easy. Niall and I were clearly not in the same league and although I knew love is not about physical appearances, I couldn't help but be nervous about all of this.

I suddenly felt extremely self-conscious but also mad at myself for letting someone like Heidi ruin my mood.

"I need a shower." he let out, taking me out of my thoughts. "Wanna come with?"

My mind suddenly went blank and my lips parted slightly as I stared at him. Did I want to see Niall naked and wet in the shower? Fuck yes. Did I want to stand in front of him in my birthday suit? Hell no.

"You reek too, by the way." he added with a smirk, taking his shirt off and throwing it in the laundry basket before turning back to me again and raising his eyebrows.

"Uhm."

I couldn't talk and I couldn't move. I could feel my heart beat all over my body, not really knowing what to answer. He knelt in front of me with a worried expression and placed his hands on my thighs. I could feel how warm they were, even through the fabric of his sweatpants that I was wearing, and it made me swallow hard. I was so scared to do or say something that would make me lose him that I could barely think straight. I had to do something about it before it ruined the relationship I had with him. As lovers, but also as best friends.

"Tempting, but no, i'll just go after you."

I tried to look normal and sent him a smile but he frowned a bit before nodding and getting up again. He bent down to kiss my lips and it sent a rush to my brain. I already regretted saying no but I knew i'd regret a 'yes" even more when i'd be naked in front of him.

I realized I was holding my breath when I sighed as soon as I heard the shower start and I closed my eyes, feeling suddenly ridiculous. Niall was now my boyfriend, and he said he loved me... he wouldn't change his mind because of what I look like naked, would he?

I sighed loud and lied back down in bed, grabbing my phone and crossing my ankles together. I couldn't help it and searched Niall's name on google only to find recent articles about him. There were pictures of us kissing at the bar and although it was from afar and not very clear, I felt extremely ugly. 'It's official! Niall Horan finally dating lifelong friend!'

My heart jumped in my chest when I realized the article started with 'After years of friendship, it is without a surprise that Niall Horan is finally seen kissing his childhood friend...' My eyes roamed on the sentence twice, three times... ten. 'Without a surprise'?

I scrolled down to the comments section and started nibbling on my bottom lip. I knew that whatever I would read would end uip hurting me but it was stronger than me. I was not the type to really care about what people thought of me but despite what anyone may tell you, reading mean things about yourself sucks and hurts.

'Can't believe she dated both Harry and Niall! Talk about a dream life! 😍'

'I have no idea how that ugly girl got one of them let alone both. 🤔 It makes no sense'

'They are so adorable!!!!!'

'He fucking deserves better have you seen her? 🤮'

'He lost a bet 😂😂😂'

'OTP OTP OTP 🥰'

I shut my eyes tight again and threw my phone on the bed before groaning low. All I could see behind my eyelids was a parade of emojis and I did the best I could to hold my tears in. I knew Niall was out of my league but some people could be so cruel when hiding behind a computer screen. The shower stopped and when Niall came back in the room, he was followed by a cloud of steam. I looked at him quickly from head to toes, enjoying the view as he walked up to me with only a towel around his waist.

"My turn!" I just said, jumping out of bed. He stopped me as I walked by and pulled me closer, making me chuckle low.

"You're all wet!" I complained jokingly, making him laugh.

"Then just take your clothes off."

His fingers reached for the top of my shirt and he pulled gently on the collar to move it down as his eyes dropped in. I felt my heart jump in my chest and shook my head, taking a step back and making him groan low.

"Pervert!" I added with a chuckle, walking to the bathroom.

I turned around and before closing the door, I stuck my tongue out at him, making him laugh again but I still locked behind myself. I knew my fear and my hatred for my own body was stopping me from living some great things with Niall but I just didn't feel ready to show him all of me. I just wanted him to think I was beautiful. I wanted to turn him on, I wanted him to want me the way I wanted him.

I brushed my teeth first and quickly got undressed and started the waterI stayed a bit longer than I should have in the shower, letting the warm water fall on me and relaxing me as the memories of the night before played over and over in my mind. It was still incredible and unbelievable to me that Niall had finally realized he had feelings for me too but it was my reality now and It felt like I would never get down from my cloud.

I got out of the shower, drying my hair the best I could with a towel before wrapping it around my body and remembering that I left my clothes in the room. I raised my nose up and inhaled deeply before going back. I frowned when I saw him laying in bed in only a pair of boxers and my phone in hands. He looked at me and sighed, turning the phone my way to show me the article I had been reading while he was in the shower.

"I'm sorry I checked your phone it's just..." he sighed again and shook his head. "You shouldn't read shit like that. You know those mean comments aren't true, right?"

I held my towel to make sure it wouldn't fall and sent him a sad smile, walking to the bed. He sat on it and I shrugged as he looked up, wrapping his arms around me.

"Liv, please, listen to me." he let out in a low but worried tone. "I feel so lucky to be with you. You are beautiful and I love you." he paused but he kept staring at me. "Olivia, I love you."

"It's just..." I closed my eyes and sighed, feeling him hold me tighter against him. "I don't know."

"Talk to me, okay?"

I nibbled on my bottom lip and finally just nodded. He let go of me and lied back down in bed, leaving space for me. I lied down next to him, leaning my head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around me. I felt secure suddenly and the fact that we weren't looking at each other anymore made it slightly easier.

"You've never seen me naked." I just pointed out.

"That's... correct." he seemed a bit confused. "And i'd like to change that."

My lips curled in a fond smile.

"I mean, I don't know what you're expecting but you may be disappointed." I tried to explain, feeling his arm pull me closer. "I am not shaped like Maya or Heidi or those girls you normally end up with."

Silence. All I could hear was the sound of my heart beating against my chest. He started drawing shapes on the skin of my arm with his fingertip and It made a shiver cross my body as my heart skipped a beat. It reminded me of that time at the movies...

"I only had sex with Maya a few times." he confessed, making me frown.

"Like, how many times?"

"I don't know, four?"

I knew they had dated for a while and it was surprising that they hadn't had sex more often. Clearly, she wanted him and no one could not want her. I frowned more, a bit confused by it but also wondering why exactly he was telling me that.

"Why?"

My question was not clear but I knew he'd understand.

"I couldn't." he explained, shrugging a shoulder. "I couldn't because I only wanted you."

I couldn't help but let out a chuckle. It was laughable to think someone had the chance to bang a girl like Maya but couldn't because they wanted me more.

"I guess my love for you made it impossible for me to lust after an other girl." he continued. "I don't know what you're scared of but I know I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone else. And I won't be disappointed because it'll be you. And that's all I want. You."

I let my eyes roam on his body and I couldn't deny that I wanted him, too. I had never wanted anyone the way I wanted him. Obviously, this relationship was based on more than sex but it seemed to be an issue and I understood that he wanted to solve it. I also wanted to share everything with him. We had never really talked about sex together, at least not about our personal sex life. It's not that it embarrassed me but I didn't want to hear about the girls he had sex with and what he did with them. it would have been too hard to hear because of my love for him and for that reason, I also kept my stories a secret to make sure he wouldn't tell me his. It was a precaution I took to avoid my heart being too broken and so far, it had worked.

"Remember when we were in my room and you were about to check in a drawer and I told you not to?" I started in a low voice, raising my eyebrows without looking at him. "It was not because of my underwear.. It's just that... it's the place I keep my vibrators."

His fingers stopped moving on my shoulder and I held my breath, a small smile playing on my lips. I hadn't expected to admit that to him and obviously, he hadn't expected to hear it either.

"Plural?"

"Yes."

We remained in silence for a while and he finally chuckled.

"That's so hot." he admitted, laughing a bit. "There's so many things I don't know about you when it comes to sex, Liv, and I'd love to talk about it with you."

My traits softened and I looked up at him, moving slightly to get my head on the pillow, my face turned his way. Talking about my body embarrassed me but talking about sex in general didn't and I was totally fine with that discussion.

"Okay, I go first!" I let out with a smirk. "Who's your favorite pornstar? And if you say Jenna Jameson I'm gonna be very disappointed in you."

He sent me an insulted frown, his lips slightly parted, and it made me laugh.

"Do you know me at all?" he just asked, making me laugh. "I don't think I have a favorite, but I guess I enjoy Shyla Jennings."

I raised my nose up and groaned a bit, still looking at him.

"I can't say I'm surprised, and I also can't blame you."

"Why not surprised?" he asked, raising his eyebrows curiously.

"She's your type." I laughed, moving my chin up to look at him better.

"Oh I have a type now?" he wondered as I nodded. "Alright then, who's your fave pornstar?"

My face changed and I shrugged with a small smile.

"Gina Valentina, no second thoughts."

I saw a bunch of emotions cross his face and it made me laugh as he shook his head.

"Wait, what?"

"Oh, you wanted a man?" I asked, amused by the conversation, as I sent him a smirk. "Tyler Nixon, then."

His eyes roamed on my face and I tried to guess what he was thinking about. He was discovering things about me that I never thought he'd know but I was totally fine with it: I had nothing to hide. His lips curled into a small but fond smile and I licked my lips, my eyes never leaving his. I felt his hand take mine and he placed his palm against mine before intertwining out fingers together.

"Tell me something that you did that I would never guess."

His voice was low and the atmosphere in the room had shifted completely. We looked at each other for a few seconds and I licked my lips. He brought his hand on my waist, now completely facing me, and my heart jumped in my chest at how good he looked.

"One time I had a threesome with two other girls."

His eyes opened slightly more and his eyebrows raised up, making me laugh. He held me tighter, his fingers sinking in the fabric of the towel I still had around me, and I knew he had many questions to ask.

"You did too, didn't you?" I kept talking, raising my eyebrows too as my eyes roamed on his face.

"Maybe." he sent me a smirk. "I mean, one time when I was very drunk... it happened. But the whole thing is a bit blurry."

I don't know why but it was a relief that he didn't remember it clearly and I licked my lips. It was ridiculous of me but I couldn't help it. I knew it was impossible but I wanted to be the only girl he'd lust... the one who would make him cum the hardest, the one he could never forget.

"Was it someone you were dating?"

"I was... seeing one of them." he admitted with a groan. "And it sort of killed whatever relationship we could have had."

I nodded slowly. "It was the same for me. We broke up only a few days later."

"When was that?" he asked with a frown, probably trying to remember something he wasn't even there for.

"During your third tour."

It made me realize how little I talked about myself when it came to relationship and how little I knew about him, too. I had met all his official girlfriend, although the number could be counted on the fingers of one hand (and not the whole hand), but I wasn't aware of all the 'maybe's' and 'almost's'.

"Are you scared of what could happen after we make love?" he finally asked after a long silence. "Or what I will think? Say?"

I sighed low and looked away. Every time the discussion switched back to my insecurities, I couldn't seem to look at him in the eyes. I knew he'd be able to read me and it scared me, but I also knew that at some point, i'd have to open up to him, or I would lose him.

I shook my head slightly, looking at our intertwined fingers and It suddenly hit me. If someone was going to be there no matter what, it would be Niall, the way he's always been there.

"I hate my body, I hate the way I look naked, and there's no way you will like it. These people online, your fans, or whatever, they're all right."

The words came out of my mouth and I didn't even think. Everything I said I meant so deep that it hurt. All of this I had thought and believed for so long that expressing them out loud gave me a shiver.

"You're beautiful." he just said in a whisper.

I looked up in his eyes and I could see that he was hurt. I licked my lips and swallowed hard as he let go of my hand to slide it back on the towel around me. He kept staring at me as his hand pulled gently on the fabric and an other shiver ran all over my body, not only because of the cold air hitting suddenly my damp skin but also because of the thought of being naked in front of him. He pushed the towel on the floor and I held my breath, biting my bottom lip and sucking my stomach in. I didn't know why I cared so much, I had no idea why I was so scared after everything he showed and said, but I couldn't help it.

His fingertips ran on my waist and to my hip, ending softly on my thigh and I swallowed hard as he sent me a small smile. Slowly, he moved over me, pushing me on my back, and I moved my chin up to keep eye contact with him. I loved the feeling of his over me, like the weight on my whole body was some sort of protection against everything else, even my own complexes. He bent closer and brushed his lips against mine so gently that I felt my heart twist in my chest.

"You're beautiful and I love you." he whispered, making my lips part lightly.

I couldn't move, I was paralyzed, but I forced myself to keep my eyes open when his lips brushed on my jaw and down my neck. They traveled to my breasts and when I felt his warm tongue on one of them, I whimpered, my body jerking very slightly at the feeling.

I wanted to tell him that I loved him too, that I had never been in love with anyone else and that I never would, but the words got stuck in my throat. His mouth moved to my other nipple and I tried to push away all the questions running in my mind without much success. What did he think? Was he disappointed? Was he still lusting me? Loving me?" Or did he just feel bad for me?

His hand reached for my stomach only a few seconds before his lips and he finally looked up at me, shaking his head from left to right and pressing his fingers gently on my skin.

"Don't do that." he asked in a breath.

It took me a few seconds but I finally exhaled and relaxed my body. His lips curled in a small but find smile and he mouthed a 'thank you', making me swallow hard. I didn't know if he realized the strength it took me and what it implied for me exactly, but he seemed to be grateful and that was enough for now.

Very slowly and softly, he pressed his lips on every inch of my skin as my heart seemed to flutter. I felt dizzy suddenly by the way he showed me love but I still couldn't move. I just focused on his mouth brushing everywhere it could and leaving a burning sensation on my skin. Nothing had ever felt like that before.

His hands glided on my thighs until my knees and he spread them slowly. His lips stopped on my lower stomach and the sight of him between my legs was incredible and way more exciting than anything I had imagined before.

"Is this okay?"

I stared at him a few seconds that seemed to last an hour and he waited, his eyes never leaving mine. I licked my bottom lip but nodded slowly but he kept looking at me as he brought his lips down. I held my breath when his lips left a kiss on my slit and I gripped the sheets with one of my hands.

I was completely naked, the curtains were open and I was with Niall. It was everything I had wished for yet it was also my biggest fear. I tried not to think about it when his fingers ran between my legs and his tongue pressed on my clit, making my body jerk again. It slid down and entered me and my eyes fluttered close as I restrained a curse word from escaping my lips.

"Oh my god." I breathed out, forcing myself to open my eyes if only to look at my boyfriend and burn the image of him eating me out on my retina forever.

His tongue and lips worked between my legs, making them twitch as I got closer and closer to an orgasm but it's only when he started sucking on my clit that my back arched and my eyes finally shut tight.

"F-" I stopped myself and started shaking but he held me down on the mattress with one of his arms as an orgasm crossed my whole body.

I couldn't stop squirming as the intense feeling invaded me from head to toes and it's only when it was gone that I whimpered, feeling both embarrassed and happy at the same time. I felt him crawl up my body and when I finally opened my eyes, he was hovering over me, holding himself with his elbows and smiling down fondly at me.

I felt my heart melt at the way he was looking at me and I smiled back, feeling my heartbeats accelerate. Out of fear, and out of love. I just didn't expect his next words but it brought me near tears.

"I didn't think it was possible, but I love you even more."

[moss-sprouted]

its weird how when you're far removed from something you realize how toxic it was

now the coaching me on to insult and hate on the girl i was dating at the time when i was upset about something and venting,now thats definitely a red flag i didnt really see with the girl i loved who broke my heart recently

but another red flag i was upset about but was told i wasn't rightfully upset about is her knowing i had dissociative episodes,her knowing i had trauma and a traumaversery around that time and panic attacks,but when i was dealing with that she'd shut down say it was "too much" and i was being too much and needed a break from me

but whenever she had a panic attack or a break down,i needed to be there

one time i was so dissociated i fell on the ground and couldnt get up and passed out a few times because not being able to control anything and feeling completely disoriented and in the depths of a panic attack caused my body to shut down

and the only person i had to text was her,and it almost became huge fights because she was frustrated of not being able to do anything and took it out on me

insteas of googling "what can you do to stop dissociating" as many friends have done,or instead just saying "hey i love you but i cant help i hope you feel better" she instead decided to yell at me and then fall into a panic attack so the focus could be on her

god im so mad lol

no one has to take care of someone when theyre dissociating or having a panic attack if its too muchfor their mental health,but you dont fucking turn it around on yourself so you can get he attention because then theyre never ever going to trust you to help them in ANY circumstance without you freaking out

[takemealivelh]

Hi BEAUTIFUL! Idk if youre still taking these...but 1, 5, 14 with Ashton on the Fake Dating Trope pleeeease 😍💜🥰

SKYLER I LOVE YOU I’m sorry this took TOO LONG

“Stop squeezing my hand so tight!” I could feel Ashton’s nervousness in his grip. If he didn’t relax soon, I was going to go home with two fingers left. He mumbled an apology as we waited for the bouncer to check off our names on the list. He asked for my name and looked at Ashton with a raised eyebrow, “plus one,” I told him before he could say anything.

The NME hosted a party every March to commemorate their first issue, back in 1957. Ever since I started working there as a music journalist, and ever since my editor asked for more pieces, I attended their anniversary. Usually, I went by myself, did my rounds and shortly after midnight got hammered with my co-workers by the editor-in-chief’s pool. This year, my date was Ashton Irwin, and it wasn’t even my idea.

-

“Come on,” my name rolled off the tip of his tongue as he begged, kneeling on my kitchen floor, Ashton could surely put on a show if he wanted. “You need to get me into that party, please. You are respected there, they value your work, and I need them to take me seriously. Please, Skyler, they think I’m in a boyband.” The disgust was obvious in his tone, he really wanted to be compared to a real musician, Phil Collins, Jon Farriss… “Please, I know I’m a fucking snob but this is really important to me, you’re my friend. Friends help each other out.”

I sipped my mug of tea and looked at his mess of a state, I’d never seen him plead. It was amusing, “get off your knees, Irwin. You can come with me, one condition only.” I almost lost my balance when he jumped to his feet and crushed me in the tightest hug, he worshipped my benevolent attitude towards a dumb peasant like him and I could only laugh, “I want concert tickets, Ash. At least three shows this year,” I pushed him off me, his smile was brightest than the sun that shone in that February morning.

-

“Skyler, so glad you could come. It’s always a treat to have you- hi,” my editor looked over at the man next to me, her eyes went wide and for a second I thought I had lost all my credibility. “You’re in that boyba-”

“Charlotte, this is Ashton Irwin. Great drummer, great musician. I’m doing a piece soon on his band, I thought I’d let him tag along so you could meet him,” I interrupted her and I could feel Ashton shifting his weight from one foot to the other, almost microscopically. His hands were starting to sweat, but he kept a professional smile on his face. “Quite a gem, actually,” I kept praising him, which wasn’t hard since I was actually a big fan of his work. I genuinely thought he was a good musician. Ashton’s body seemed to ease as Charlotte’s eyes stopped piercing him with judgement.

Her red lips curved up into a smirk, “a gem because you’re dating him, Sky?”

I’m no idiot, Ashton is a fit young man. He is not an idiot either, he knew how hot I looked in my skin-tight dress. His arm slipped over to hold me by the waist and I took the opportunity to wrap my arms around his waist, pressing a cheek to his white shirt, “that’s only a side-effect I don’t mind having.”

-

“Did you see me, Sky? I actually talked to Tom about music. He was sceptical at first and started asking me shit about whether I danced or not and I was like, dude no, I play the drums and I-”

I could listen to Ashton talk about his passion for music for hours. His face lit up when he listed his influences and when he talked about the new technique he was trying to get a crispier sound on the snare drum.

“I think he was impressed,” he grinned at me and raised his glass of vodka-tonic, “you are my gem, Skyler” he teased me. 

“Yes, I know”

It was past midnight, and we were lounging by the pool with our feet in the water. I didn’t know why I’d never asked him to come with me to this party, I was having the best time.

“Do you think they’re bluffing?”“What do you mean?”

As Ashton finished his drink and took his feet out of the water to put on some shoes and go to the bathroom, I heard both my editors from the other side of the glass door. I looked at them from the corner of my eye, they were staring at us.

“Be right back,” Ashton playfully nudged my shoulder and went back inside with an empty glass. I nodded and leaned back to eavesdrop some more after he left.

“I heard she got some offers, Char. I think other magazines are after her, younger ones. Maybe she’s getting acquainted with boybands because it will help her get the job”“Are you serious? I thought you said he was-”“Yeah, but come on… Kid could’ve studied that off the internet or whatever.”“They don’t look like they’re dating, that’s for sure”

-

“Hey! My gem came to find me because she thought I would’ve embarrassed myself by now?” Ashton was still tugging his shirt inside his pants when I opened the bathroom door. “Knock, next time, alright?”

I closed the door behind me and he gave me a cheeky smile, “wipe that off your face, Ash. I think they’re onto us.”

“What?” his hazel eyes drowned in confusion. “Wait, what if they know, though? It’s not like-”

“I could lose my fucking job, Ashton. They think I’m trying to get in your pants to get another job, they think I’m selling out”

“No…” we both stayed quiet for a while. “Well…” Ashton sighed and wiped his hands on the towel, “pretending to be your boyfriend is the easiest thing I’ve ever had to do,” he chuckled and I rolled my eyes. 

-

“They’re coming! Hurry up and kiss me!” 

“Oh how the tables have turned,” Ashton smirked with his hands on his pockets. He was leaning against the wall and I did the same, standing next to him. “You didn’t say please.”

I could see Charlotte and Tom coming from the other side of the room, “you’re the fuckin worst-”

It took me about three long seconds to process the warmth of his hands in my waist, pinning me against the wall. His lips soft and hungry against mine. I drifted off the night when his tongue licked my lower lip, tasting like vodka and tonic. My arms, instinctively, wrapped around his neck, bring him closer to me. How long had it been since I’d been kissed like that?

“You’re a gem, alright?” Ashton whispered against my lips and repeated in my ear as he pulled away, just in time to smile at my editors, keeping the show going. “Hey! Great party. Tom, I’d love to talk more about the Gallaghers solo projects but I think I might just take my girl home,” he wrapped his arm around my waist once again, squeezing me against him.

I smiled back at the disoriented eyes staring at us, “I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

- 

When we got in the back of the taxi, Ashton squeezed my thigh, his breath visibly agitated. “Okay, that was fun, but it’s not ending now, is it?”

The mischievous glint in his eyes was enough to make me want to move his hand up, “no. Hopefully, it’s far from over”

TAG LIST:

@brown-eyedshell @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @myloverboyash @hopeless-renassianceluke @dukesnumber1 @rip-lukes-balsamic @letsfuckndance @cal-pal-cuddles @ashtons-favorite @1dthewantedlove @problematicprincessa @heartbreak-5sos @baby-loba

fuckin listen, I actually googled the NME staff, I’m such a dork I’m sorry

[karmade]

okay... i didnt like far from home.

well, spiderman far from home spoilers ahead.

i honestly never expected that I’ll type up something like that after spider man movie... after homecoming, that comforted my tortured by civil war soul in best way possible, i hoped that far from home will help me, and peter, to cope with endgame.

well, it made me feel worse. 

Starting with: NICK FURY. I always had up and down relationship with him, but after Captain Marvel I was really cool with him. Yet in FFH, he hit the bottom way too fast: Fury demands Spider Man to help take down creatures that supposedly destroyed the earth of other dimension: water and fire element creatures. Spider Man, who’s abilities include super strenght, agility, stickiness and webs... is simply just not fit to help with this kind of villians. What exactly Dr Strange is doing, when other dimentions are actually his shtick? Where’s Wanda? What about Hulk, Wakandian soldiers (and tech), hey, where’s Rhodey? There was fucking battalion of superheroes at the end of Endgame, but this supposed apocalyptic villian is only fit to fight by 16 years old teenager? Okay.... Well, I get it that it’s a plot point, that there will be no Spider man movie if this plot point didnt exist, but they could have at least designed a villian more fit to make Spider Man’s abilities essential. ANYWAY: Fury decides on this 16 years old and uses tranquliser on his 16 years old friend (which was not creepy and unnecessary at aaaaaall).  But then Peter says no (we’ll get to that later) and Fury? Fucking tries to guiltrip him by using Tony. I am so completely livid about it, Fury saying some shit about ‘oh I guess Stark was wrong about you’ TO A KID TONY LOVED, OBVIOUSLY HAD A HIGHEST REAGARD FOR AND NEVER DOUBTED AND WOULD HAVE NEVER FUCKING ASKED SOMETHING LIKE THAT FROM IN THE FIRST PLACE, FUCK YOU. Fury using Tony to make this KID feel bad about himself, reminding Peter about death of his friend and mentor and, yeah, possibly father figure, basically by implying that apparently Tony would have been dissapointed... that shit was low. The fuck. But Peter still says no, so Nick Fury goes and steers a WHOLE BUS OF TEENAGERS TO EPICENTRE OF DANGER. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING MEEEE. If I’ll hear one more WORD about tony kidnapping peter to berlin after this, I’m going to fucking explode.

EDITH: the first ever Tony Stark’s AI that had no emotions. I used to think that it was Friday operating Tony’s glasses, watch and everything, but it’s beside the point: unlike her brothers and sisters, Edith shows no hints of having her own mind, she’s a THING that can be simply transferred to the wrong guy and dont mind it. JARVIS was able to tell that Ultron was hostile, AND when he was hurt and disentegrated he STILL had a mind to protect nuclear codes without being ordered to. Yet Edith is fine with destroying cities, harming people and killing Spider Man. I guess it’s a small point to be peeved with, since she’s artifical, but it sure would have been nice if Edith (created by Tony who LOVED to be prepared for everything)  had protocols to prevent her from being used against civilians (AT LEAST be familiar with Spider Man and Peter Parker to NOT shoot him on command) and they would have had to hack her to remove it. But oh well. 

What REALLY hurt me about Edith tho, was how easily Peter let the glasses go. It was unexpected and sad and I’d say rather poorely executed. Again, giving up the glasses was a plot point, but the scene itself, it was done in such way that I felt no reluctance from Peter. It was a thing Tony left for him, a parting gift, yet Peter gives it away like it didnt matter, even more so, it felt like he was happy to part with it, phew, thanks god it’s not my burden anymore! Also, Tony was really, really protective of his tech: his suit, his watch, his AIs, his bots, his glasses... all of them were part of him, never intended to be given over to goverment or military or some stranger. He gave Peter those glasses because Peter could use them like Tony did, discreetly, while out of costume, and because he knew that Peter would NEVER use them to harm people. But seeing Peter giving over those glasses to some stranger he met only two days ago, as some kind of sacrifice to not feel bad about not joining Fury’s new superhero team, that left a bad taste in my mouth. So bad, in fact, that I still feel it.

(And while we’re on topic of AI, what about Karen? Where is she? Peter used 3 different types of costumes in this movie (minus black one that wasnt stark tech) and she never said a word. Thats... weird, dissapointing and sad.)

BECK: That piece of shit. Yes, I hated that it was yet another ‘IT’S ALL TONY STARK’S FOULT!’ origin. Just.. how many more villians ranting about how and why they hate tony marvel wants me to endure? Because I honestly lost count by this point. And yeah, movie didnt try to make Tony problematic, yeah, they did not try to make us sympathetic toward Beck, they kept enforcing the idea of Tony being good and selfless superhero Peter should aspire to be, but. I still hated it. I hated that they dragged Tony into it, I hated villains cheering that Tony is now dead, I hated that they used stark tech to destroy cities and harm people, I hated Beck wearing or just touching Edith... I hated it, okay. And people WILL now use this 'tony steals tech!' agenda out of context how they happily blame tony for 'kidnapping and blackmailing' peter, 'trying to kill bucky in cold blood', 'siding with ross and splitting avengers apart', 'creating murderous bot'... it's now out there, even if BARF is obviously property of SI and Beck is obviously a psycho.

PETER: I love Tom Holland’s Peter Parker. I love him, I never stopped. But. But. In homecoming, Peter’s inner tremor of wanting to be of use so badly but not called up or trusted to be of help was a very well executed theme of the movie. Peter had a bravado of I’M NOT A KID, I CAN DO IT! in the first half of the movie, that led him to failing big time on the ferry, to him having this big emotional choice of WHO, IF NOT ME on homecoming night, to declining an Avenger title. It was so so so so so well done emotionally. And I was so ready to cry my soul out in FFH, expecting Peter to have so much inner struggle between wanting to distance himself from superheroing after endgame and wanting to help people and trying to fit in in tony’s shoes and not seeing himself capable of it... I searched for those undertones so much in every scene, but all I really felt was Peter not really wanting to be in this movie at all. He’s a kid! I get it! He’s a kid I love and want to protect, okay! But after 4 movies of knowing Peter Parker who jumped in the MOMENT someone was in danger, it baffled me how reluctant he was to help in FFH, basically forced to do it. We could theoritise about him having trouble coping after endgame all day long, but after IM3, brilliantly showing Tony struggling to cope after traumatic events, FFH did not deliever. They tried, but, it was some bland dialogue and barely any subtlety, just a kid wanting to go on his date, already, can you please ask someone else?

Scene with Happy was good, tho. How Peter goes to him but is scared to trust him at first, how Happy is gentle with him, the talk, the in plane lab, the music. It was good bit, but. It was just small bit.

Another thing I loved was MJ, who was a delight, her scenes were good and pure, and Zendaya did perfect job on portraying her struggles of liking Peter and worrying about him being Spider Man and still not being sure about it and trying to appear indifferent and above it all... she was really great and endearing and her scenes with Peter were lovely. The kiss(es) scene was one of the purest kissing scenes I witnessed in a superhero movie, god bless it.

HOLOGRAMS: They were scary, I guess. They were disorienting and difficult to follow and 100% made to whoa you with 3D effects. But I felt completely detached from feelings that those illusions should have summoned up, because for the most part Peter wore the mask and thus we could not see his face or read his emotions. Ironman zombie was by far most unnecessary bit, I was scared that Beck would use Tony in his illusions, barely breathing whole thing, but then ironman zombie showed up and I actually relaxed, cringing. It was just that, a scene that makes you pull a disgusted face, not touching your emotions at all. Somehow...disappointing. Also... Tony CONSTANTLY used heat signature scanner to check up where civillians and villians were. It's a feature that exist and could have been greatly used against holograms. But oh well.

POST CREDITS SCENE: So Beck was even more shitstain of a person, okay. So his grand plan B was to frame Spider Man, okay. The scene was supposed to make me jump from my seat with WHAAAAT and kickstart thirst for 3rd movie, but... I just stood up and walked straight out of cinema feeling strangely hollow and disappointed. I guess... it wasn't bad movie? I won't try to change the opinion to those who liked it. I look forward to seeing gifs and reading thoughts of those who liked/loved the movie. I might change my mind on some bits. But I waited for this movie so much and in two hours I barely enjoyed maybe about 15 minutes of it and it's something i never expected after adoring homecoming and all the peter scenes in other movies. Maybe it's that they murdered Tony and I lost ability to enjoy marvel movies anymore, maybe it's just that.

(finally, I guess it’s too picky of me to be peeved by this, but science school teenagers coming up with ‘i will always love you’ google search grainy picture tribute video was so anticlimatic it was uncomfortable to watch. There’s nothing hillarious about death of those characters, and it did not lighten the mood at all, it only made me uncomfortable and wrong footed. It’s also not how teenagers novadays make tribute videos.)

[diningpageantry]

tag game(s)

anï (i’m too exhausted to do three separate posts but i was tagged in three tag games over the past few days and i’d forgotten to do the last few games i was tagged in and i feel super guilty so here they are in one go)

i don’t know who to tag to do these rn because my brain is dead i am emotionally exhausted and i’m writing a fic that’s about halfway done so i’m gonna say tag anyone who wants to be tagged for any of these. i’m so sorry that i’m dead, i will be back alive again after may 10th, which is my AP exam day

six questions challenge

tagged by @simon--speaks

rules: answer the questions, then tag 9 people you want to get to know better!

Q1: Relationship status?

single bby

Q2: Favorite color?

maroon !

Q3: Top 3 ships?

snowbaz (wow) and uh. wow. idk who else. i wanna say my own ocs matchstick and summer (is that allowed? i’m making it allowed)

Q4: Lipstick or chapstick?

whenever i get to this question in any ask i freeze up because i use a tinted chapstick so i don’t look dead but like. it can also be seen as a lipstick because it has pigment. but. chapstick.

Q5: Last song I listened to?

Run by Hozier

Q6: Last movie I watched?

uhhh i watched like. 5 minutes of the emperor’s new groove a few days ago, and watched a documentary about obscure houses like 10 minutes before that. so. i’m gonna say the house documentary.

21 questions

i was tagged by @simon--speaks, @angelsfalling16, @wo2ash, @alixanderthequeer, @sharkmartini and @bazypitchandsimonsnow

rules: answer 21 questions then tag 21 people

nickname: anï, munchkin, menina, and my hebrew name is elisheva

height: the doctor says i’m 5′3.5″, but they can’t put fractions on IDs so according to the state i’m 5′4″ and i cling to that

last movie i saw: see above (so like. funky houses)

last thing i googled: (next town over) movie tavern. i’m not saying where it is exactly bc hah i don’t wanna be stalked but. i was looking at movie times because they have $5 movies every tuesday

favorite musician: frank iero. love that funky rat man and his funky music too (i’m gonna see him for the second time next month because i made the executive adult decision to say fuck it to my seizures and go see him anyway)

song stuck in my head: i don’t have one rn but usually it’s a song by the killers (when you were young is a usual one)

other blogs: none, actually! i didn’t delete my old tumblr purely bc i’m a nostalgic dumbass, but it’s a completely different login and it’s inactive so i don’t count it.

followers: 1,666 (originally i wasn’t gonna share the number but it hit this last night and i was like heh. nice)

following: 231

amount of sleep: 8ish hours! (spring break bby)

lucky numbers: 7, multiples of 3 (only in cases of knocking), and multiples of 2 (only in cases like volume)

dream job: writing and illustrating books! i have a variety of dream jobs within art, and even within the subcategory of books, but my top dream job is creating inclusive/diverse children’s books that represent a variety different ethnicities/races, religions, abilities, and identities so that children can see themselves represented in media

what i’m wearing: a black turtleneck, a bra, and marvel boxers. that’s it.

favorite food: soup in general. i make a kick ass matzo ball soup

language: english, conversational portuguese, i know a small small bit of japanese (i should know more given i was raised being taught it but i always struggled with it), and i know some spanish. i also plan on teaching myself ASL.

can i play an instrument: yes! i’ve been playing violin since i was 2. i wanna play guitar and i know some chords but i have small hands so it’s hard to find one that’s the right size that isn’t a shitty children’s guitar, and i sing! i’m an alto

favorite song: hnnghg please don’t make me pick................ i’d have to say choke on one another by death spells

random fact: so like. if you didn’t know already, i’m an LGBTQ+ youth activist on a national scale. i disappear on occasion because i’m doing something or another, and sometimes i post about it on my blog (speaking of i have exciting news that i heard, but at the same time, i’m pretty much booked every weekend from middle of next month until middle of july), but........ i hate networking. i loathe it. if i never had to network again, i’d be thrilled. networking is my absolute least favorite thing because i struggle at everyday conversation, much less networking with people at least 10-20 years my senior. sure it’s usually free publicity and i get great connections, but god. at what cost? and like.... it’s always after a really emotionally taxing event, so i’m already drained and then wow here’s a room full of adults who want my 18 year old input. please. just let me steal a cupcake then leave.

describe yourself in aesthetic things: dye stained fingernails and necks. cranked open windows during a spring shower. dried tears and breaking laughs. coffee stains and milky tea splashes. trembling fingers, writing instead of speaking because you’re too afraid, and finally breaking free--running through the rain. scabbing blood, fresh piercings. knowing you’re loved and not saying it because it doesn’t need to be spoken. the smell of a new canvas, paint splattered jeans, and art school sweaters. black skirts with docs, then fairy lights and soft blankets hidden behind sharp profanities and harsh disgust. the unexpected. the unknown. the ever-changing, unstoppable force of the shifting tides. 

carry on questions

tagged by @goodbyedandelion, @isthisisagoodkiss @wo2ash, 

1- favorite type of scone? 

cranberry orange! one of the farms a county over has a market and they sell them there and they’re to die for (altho, i found a sour cherry scone recipe that i’ve perfected and my family loves them so they’re a close second now)

2- london or la?

i’ve never been to london, but i’m gonna have to go with london. i went to la last october to present in an awards show for my organization and i lowkey was underwhelmed. i’m very much a gloom and rain kinda person, and it was too dry and sunny there. although, i did think the huge succulents were sick as fuck. but yeah definitely london. i’m planning to spend a semester abroad there in a few years for an illustration program

3- kissing in a forest or holding hands under the stars?

i’m afraid of forests because we have a lot of wildlife and i don’t want to get mauled by a bear don’t mind me holding hands under the stars :)

4- jeans or suit?

suit suit suIT SUIT suit. i love wearing suits. my chest doesn’t cooperate and my hips always hate them but god i do love suits.

5- loose hair or pulled back hair?

mine looks better loose, and my sides/back are shaved but the top reaches my ears, so it gets annoying sometimes and i pull it up to keep it out of my face

6- vampires or dragons?

i wanna say both. i used to say “yknow a dragon but in human form would be hot” then i got called dragon fucker for like two years so out of pure spite i’m going with vampires.

7- what saying do you wish could be a spell?

(this one’s a very specific reference so hear me out) “i’ve got to go pee on her”  used to disorient and confuse the speech of the person casted upon. it’s one of my favorite quotes from scott pilgrim vs. the world (my favorite movie ngl) when scott’s brain can’t figure out two different sentences and he just says that. it’s so good and just fuckin weird that i love it.

8- which carry on character would you go on a coffee date with if you could?

depends tbh! if we’re talking date date, then penny because i would wife penny in 0.5 seconds, but if we’re talking friends getting coffee then 10000000% baz because i’d talk activism and identities with him

9- favorite carry on quote?

“he told me we would be stars” (i don’t have my book on me so i could be getting the line wrong), but it hit so hard for me. like it’s clear how davy manipulated lucy so much that she fell into it and couldn’t crawl out. it’s such a powerful message of control from those who are charismatic enough to hold it, and how sometimes we aren’t weak enough to let go.

10- how excited are you for wayward son?

lemme paint this picture: i started hyperventilating in the hallway when i found out, and then cried an hour or two later when my friend texted me that he preordered me a signed copy. like. i’ve been pre-planning how to get home from college to come and pick it up (okok the 24th is also my dad’s birthday so i’m. um. “coming home to visit him”, of course) because i’m just SO EXCITED to read them again in a canon way :’)

[thebibliomancer]

50 More Days of Comics! 29/50: ElfQuest #6 (1986)

After long hiatus, I am return. Moving really threw me off my rhythm and this sorta liveblog just fell by the wayside. Possibly because the mystery box of comics ended up in a different room than I did and I apparently lack object permanence.

Soooooooooo. ElfQuest.

I do not know a thing about ElfQuest.

I read a few Xanth books back in Iwannasaaaaay ninth grade which had a character Jenny Elf who was all but explicitly said to be from the ElfQuest world.

Hahah, those books probably were not appropriate for a school library.

Also I just learned that infamous Cerebus creator David Sim illustrated an ElfQuest one-shot. The things you learn while googling a thing.

I’ve also also learned that all issues of ElfQuest pre-dating 2013 are free to read online. So that’s neat.

Anyway, ElfQuest is an indie comic. Its original twenty-issue run of magazine sized issues was republished by Marvel under their Epic imprint in 32 issues due to the stricter page count.

The Epic Comics imprint was intended for creator owned projects, so they could be printed by Marvel while letting the creators retain the rights. Apparently that requires a separate imprint? I confess I know little of the minutiae of publishing. Marvel also used Epic to print more mature material without running afoul of the Comics Code.

One such project was Steve Gerber’s Void Indigo which was called by one reviewer “a crime against humanity” due to its extreme depiction of violence. That was another fun thing I just learned.

But I’m getting off-track. Epic ElfQuest. Because Marvel was just borrowing it.

The issue “Wolfsong” starts with the Wolfrider elves sitting on top of a tall rock howling at the Moon. As they apparently do.

Lurking beneath them, Leetah of the Sun Folk is eavesdropping on them because she finds Wolfrider chief Cutter hot as hell. Also, she couldn’t really sleep because she could hear them howling all the way to her hut.

There’s the use of a word, Recognition, given importance through context, which leads me to believe that Leetah may have sex imprinted on Cutter. Or more mundanely just fallen in love with him. But elves are apparently psychic so she may have indeed sex imprinted on him.

Apparently she was together with another dude but then she sex imprinted on Cutter and Cutter then beat her other dude in some elf contest throught technicality so he left the tribe in shame so now Leetah just pines after Cutter and doesn’t give a fuck about whatshisface.

So that’s a thing.

The Wolfrider Howl is apparently about memorializing the dead in addition to keeping people from their Z’s. As this night Cutter declares the Howl is about his dead dad Bearclaw who is dead.

Bearclaw was a real “mean son of a she-wolf” apparently. That kind of trickster hero you’d love to hear about provided you weren’t being trickstered.

He stole a human baby once, for laughs, had the whole village chasing him, and then just left the baby hanging from a branch when he got bored of the jape.

A real ‘you had to be there’ kind of joke.

And he had a wife Joyleaf who was the patient to his reckless.

Anyway,  there was an unnatural monster in the woods and it stalked the Wolfriders. Just out of arrow range and just quiet enough to make them doubt their senses.

And when it attacked, it killed the medic first. So you know its something crafty and dangerous.

Its name was Madcoil and its apparently what happen when a sabertooth tiger and a huge, black serpent are fighting and wild magic makes them unwillingly fuse into one creature.

Also, its psychic. Sending its backstory to the Wolfriders while it attacked them, disorienting and frightening them until they had to retreat.

But half the hunting party was missing after, including Joyleaf.

Bearclaw has an anger about his dead wife and decides that This Is Something He Has To Do Himself and sends the other Wolfriders away.

Bearclaw: “I decide what rights are yours! I am chief!! Either do as I say -- or send me to Joyleaf’s side! I don’t care which!”

Cutter though insisted he come along. That was his mom, dammit! Bearclaw concedes to the demand. Joyleaf’s brother, who also insisted he come along, can go get fucked though. He can’t come. This is a father-son bonding slash suicide mission.

Over many days, father and son track Madcoil down to its den and set up watch outside to ambush the monster when it returns.

Except when it does return, Cutter is having a nap and instead of waking him up, Bearclaw goes off to confront the monster alone.

No surprise that by the time Cutter wakes up, Bearclaw has been fatally injured and only has time to pass over his sweet sword New Moon and tell Cutter to finish the job.

At least he managed to wound Madcoil before he died a stupid, pointless, dumb death.

And then a wolf takes away Bearclaw’s body because why not.

And then another wolf howls the bring the Wolfriders to Cutter’s side because again why not.

The tribe appoints Cutter the new chief and because he’s not an idiot trying to die he asks them to help him finish off Madcoil. He has them weave strong nets out of vines and has them hide in the trees above the den.

And then he and his wolf stand in front of the entrance and try to provoke Madcoil out.

And that's a To Be Continued because ElfQuest issues were originally printed longer than Marvel standard and had to be split up when Marvel republished the stories.

So that’s an ElfQuest. Pretty interesting. And a large swathe of it is available online to read for free unillegally from the official website if it seems like your kind of thing.

I may take a look myself some time but I have night class, a book to edit, 21 more mystery comics to read, an Avengers liveblog to hopefully get back off the ground, and Guilder to frame for it.

I’m swamped!

[spicynbachili1]

Agony, one of the worst games of the year, gets its Unrated version and a Switch port

Back to hell after five months in limbo

Agony was [checks thesaurus.com for synonyms for “agony”] pure misery, torment, and despondency. I started reviewing it and then just stopped halfway through. I respect my own time too much to continue hating every frustrating second I spend with this game. Although, apparently the entirety of my intro to the pseudo-review was simply “Agony sucks.” I stand by this wholeheartedly.

At least I got this video out of it:

Today, five months after its hellish release, Agony tries again. Developer Madmind Studio has launched Agony Unrated — a new version of the game that allegedly doesn’t make the compromises the original did. Here’s Madmind’s bullet-point list of changes:

Improved quality of character models and textures

New types of threats – Traps

New types of environmental threats

New types of static opponents

A new, more extensive and useful character development system

Volumetric lighting

Normal Mode and Hard Mode with more opponents and puzzles

Completely new type of environment – the Forest, added to the procedurally generated Agony Mode, which now also includes additional traps and boss fights

8 different endings in the Story Mode

Possibility to follow the story mode as a Sukkub

Sukkub Mode and Agony Mode are unlocked at the first start of the game

Many new, uncensored scenes

Black and red image filter, inspired by the Agony trailers

World map and minimap

The possibility of setting up a fire and killing some opponents as a martyr

Sacrificial altars

New and modified paths for the player

Numerous technical improvements to the basic version of the game and much more

There are a few definite positives here. The maps will certainly help keep Agony from being so disorienting and confusing. The “technical improvements” mean it’s hopefully not such a choppy trainwreck. But Agony is a bad game not for a series of minor but compounding issues, but for flaws that make up its very foundation. This stealth-survival puzzler jumble is poorly designed in almost every aspect. Don’t expect any amount of reworking to definitively save it.

Madmind laid the blame for Agony‘s awful reception at the feet of one trusted team member. Destructoid received an anonymous tip a while back from a Polish reader about Madmind’s public statement to its publisher and investors. The developer says it followed its most experienced designer’s suggestions about gameplay direction, while completely ignoring feedback from testers. That is, supposedly, how Agony ended up so far removed from what crowdfunding backers originally thought it was going to be.

Here are relevant portions of that explanation, run through Google Translate:

Agony in the initial assumptions was to be a small production, scheduled for about 5 hours of gameplay. In order to better match the console player, we extended the story mode from 5 to 10 hours. This resulted in artificial extension of the game, in the form of additional puzzles, difficult tasks and poorly explained gameplay mechanics. An additional factor turned out to be the entrustment of game design, the most experienced person in the Madmind Studio team, and its complete trust — which we regret today.

Madmind Studio, as a small team, had problems with completing such a large game, an appropriate, interesting content that would surprise players at every turn.

Suggesting the opinions of the players about the Kickstarter demo, and comments on the gameplay videos published by us (about 45 minutes of play), we believed that the direction we were heading was right, ignoring the feedback from the test teams, to which we had access through PlayWay SA, which additionally clearly signaled to us that we should make gameplay changes, and think about the release date of the game. However, Madmind Studio decided not to load the release date, believing that the game will be well received by the target group of players. The person responsible for the Agony game design is no longer a member of the Madmind team. 

So, Madmind’s best attempt at course-correcting has released today on Steam. Previous owners are upgraded to Agony Unrated at no charge. The developer has also halved the original price and launched this new version for $15.

The PC version is apparently free of censorship because it’s an entirely different title rather than a straight update. That means it has all the distasteful and objectionable cutscenes that were forced out of Agony. (The exclusion of these scenes wouldn’t make a top ten list of things that Agony fucked up.)

That’s not the case for the console versions. PlayStation and Xbox aren’t going to let that content get patched into Agony. However, Madmind mentions that there’s the longshot possibility that it’ll be able to release a limited edition physical version of Agony Unrated that has an “Adults Only” rating, and it’ll have those cutscenes.

Lastly, in a true twist, Madmind also announces a Switch port for Agony which is scheduled to release before the end of the year. Even with titles like Doom and Wolfenstein II and Binding of Isaac on Switch, it’s tough to not still have a hangover notion from previous generations that Nintendo is the family-friendly platform. If that image hasn’t already been erased, Agony will shatter it. As a bonus, it should be fun to see how the Switch runs Agony — especially considering it was kind of a mess on capable PCs when it first launched.

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