#I had to edit and repost so if you see this again thats why

[mimiteru]

I ACCDITENTLY PUT MY NITARA HC OUT OF THE DRAFTS WHAT I DIDNT EVEN FINISHED WRITING 😭😭

dude this is what happens when you have shity internet Dx i know there was a option to edit but before i realize that i deleted the post 🔫 idc anymore i'm gonna write it again

how tf does this app work i'm sorry mutual who reposted my draftJDKS

ANYWAYS MY NITARA DELULU HC LETS GO

tw: death of a character, mentions of vomit

• Remember Kahil? You know the vampire who once was user of the datusha/kriss and bc of it's power he kill most of the Vaeternus, moments later he commits suicide trapping the sword with him?

Well lets put more emotional damage and say this was a relative to Nitara, maybe a brother why not

(i rewatched the Nitara intros and her mother also died damn, that's rough buddy)

they had a really strong bond, so Nitara was broken and devastated by his brother's tragic end, and after a long time of grief, this "revelation" as she would say, came to mind. From this time she tries so hard to save her so no Vaeternus could face the fate of death

And you know, "trying" is a strong word, the coven at this point are kinda tired of her all the time visiting them and bringing her failed ideas

The coven are like: "yeah yeah you know why don't you go and try to take over outworld or something" as a joke just to get rid of her.

And she did go to Outworld so..

• Now, her voice... It's not the best, it's so monotone and she doesnt realize it

But now i can't stop thinking about her with a valley girl accent, the way she would say the word "like" repetitively in one sentence is insane

There were times when Havik just rip of his own ears to not hear her, she talks a lot

She likes to do monologues, i feel like it's normal for Vaeternus to have this... Theatrical way of speaking, that goes on and on

Nitara does not know how to lie, if you dig enough she would accidentally say the truth or let out her plans without knowing

• At first the interactions Nitara has with Rain were harsh but later he starts to understand the big problem that the Vaeternus were living in, so maybe these two will be allies in the future??? Please??

Tho at this point she is trying to persue ppl to help her cause, whether it's from the good guys or the bad guys, and not even god itself wants to make a solution to help the Vaeternus yeah she's fucked

With the fictional dead family i create around her it makes a little bit of sense when she's trying to make Smoke a vampire too, Nitara sees herself since the guy also lost his mom and sister

or instead he sees her brother in Smoke, which is kinda creepy and dark but thats how my girl copes <33 /j

• The Vaeternus have a way to go to Earthrealm from centuries ago, this could mean that the vampires have more noledge of human traditions, slangs and even technology than Outworld does

This can also includes Earthrealm pop culture, influencing the way they dress or act, there could be Vaeternus who moved to Earthrealm permanently, hiding in the shadows

Imagine miss girl tries to make chitchat with Havik, Darrius and Sareena making a Earthrealm references and everyone just look at her like "wtf r u talkin about?"

This is chronically online comunicating with normal people

Nitara finds Earthrealm movies about vampires fascinating by the way of how they portrayed her kind, bc sometimes those movies are so wrong and sometimes they are so accurate its scary

She finds the "familiar" character to be very useful, she will have it in mind and maybe find one of those to help her look for food and other plans

• There was a time when the vaeternus didnt need blood to maintain their survival (idk if it was on Liu Kang or Geras intros) and there was were other things they could have feed on, but little by little vampirism began to be part of their nature that it was impossible to change their ways, condemning their own species.

Trying to get back to a normal diet probably would take another millenia

And if they eat or drink something no blood related i imagine them vomiting A LOT and with a horrible stomach pain, not the best moment for a vampire

• Her eyes glow in the dark

Once Nitara tried to sleep upside down bc she saw it in one of those movies, and she find it so comfortable??? It's kinda embarrasing for her but she keeps sleeping on that position from now on

She's a failure, she's a loser, and i think that's beautiful

Yeah i don't have more to say, also

WWDITS MENTIONED‼️‼️

Yeah that's it bye

[kobayashisoul]

This is the official Scenario of my Story in which Gaara asked Reezé to marry him. His official proposal of marriage.

The place they are is in the mountains around Tengoku, Razielas Origin Village and the Village of the Kobayashi Clan. Some of you are maybe confused why in a Place like Tengoku, where it's always freezing cold, Flowers can grow. The Reason is that around the Village there is a Chakra Barrier, so it's not that cold inside it. It's to make this Place more beautiful, for all the Souls that died during the Tengoku Plague.

And Gaara had reason to ask her at this Place. 

For Reeze Tengoku was a Place of sadness, loss and tragic. She lived there for almost ten years until she was 21 years old and at this Age she could not stay in Tengoku anymore. Too many things had happened: The extinct of her Clan, the loss of her Mother, the broken Relationship to her father and the loss of Akio.

This Place was a curse in her eyes and thats why she decided to leave it and returned with her Pack to Sunagakure at the Age of 21.

And thats because Gaara wanted to ask her at this Place. In his eyes Reeze should have some positive Memories to her Origin Village, she should not hate her Clans roots. He lured her to Tengoku for his proposal, because he wanted to give her some good memories that she could associate with this place and not just her bad ones. He wanted that she always will remember a good thing to this Village, wanted to bring her closer to it again and thats why he choosed Tengoku for his proposal of marriage.

He planned everything behind her back with  Buredo, her brother, who still lived in Tengoku at that time. And in their first Night in Tengoku, Gaara brought her to the mountains

in a cold snowy night and asked her if she wanted to become his wife. He was sure that he want to be at her side for the rest of his live and hoped that she felt the same. He wanted to be her husband and he wanted her to be his wife.

And after Reeze was shocked and cried in front of him, seeing him on his knees, seeing the ring, she agreed, she said yes. They were engaged now.

When Gaara asked her he was around 24 years old and Reeze around 23, it was when they were for one and a half year in Relationship.

"It is you my heart belongs with and will always belong to."

____________________________________

Art (c) aleiah-art

Raziela Kobayashi (c) KobayashiSoul

Tengoku Village (c) KobayashiSoul

Sabaku No Gaara (c) Masashi Kishimoto

Naruto Stuff (c) Masashi Kishimoto

----------

I hope you enjoy. ;v; ♥

This Picture was a Comission for me from aleiah-art . . I am not the Artist of this Artwork.

I was given permission to upload this drawing to my gallery by the artist.

Without my and the Artists written permission you have no right to recolor/repost/trace/edit/use this in any way. ⚠️

[writerly-love]

Misfits| 1

Genre: Crime AU, Fluff, ???

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Word Count: 3,106

Summary: The plan was to go undercover and gain information on a notorious crime trio so he could help his team take them down. He wasn’t supposed to befriend them and he wasn’t supposed to fall in love with their mysterious hacker. Park Jimin was in trouble and it was all because of the Misfits.

A/N: I’m so bad at summaries but thanks for reading if you get past that! I haven’t posted anything in such a long time so I’m suuuuuuper nervous I hope this is okay sjdgkhjagsnkjsh this is the first part and a lot of introductions so I hope you forgive me if it was bad the next part will be better! I promise! *whispers* send me anons if you like it please I’m lonely

The room is filled with the elite, dressed to the nines and making connections with everyone they deem worthy. Standing among them is a wolf in sheep’s clothing who blends in with this crowd better than most with both his physical appearance and outfit looking as if he’s one of them as he sneaks his way into their world.

He whispers into the ears of the people, charming them with his words and pulling them in with his handsome features. They are none the wiser as to what his true intentions are as he seduces them and gets them right where he wants them.

Kim Taehyung was surrounded by members of this upper class, his bright boxy smile on display as he whispered into the ears of women and men alike things that made them laugh and blush and fawn over him. He was a master with words and could act just as well as anyone in movies.

On the other side of the room there was a figure who stayed to the background, dressed similarly to those serving the likes of people like Taehyung in the room. Sneaking about like a snake and disappearing into rooms he wasn’t supposed to be in. If he wasn’t disguised as a server his form would be intimidating, but draped in black and white attire with a bow tie his broad shoulders and pique physical form was hidden, making him as normal as anyone else.

His face was steely, not letting any emotion slip by as his eyes raked the room, searching for anything valuable he could slip off of anyone without their knowing. Occasionally he would disappear from the room without anyone the wiser to scope out the merchandise in the rest of the mansion before returning with an idea in mind of what he was to sneak in to steal later.

Jeon Jungkook was a master at not being seen and sinking into the background as he disappeared with a wallet or two in hand. He didn’t have to even say a word to someone before walking away with their possessions.

In the ear of both boys cleverly disguised as earrings were microphones. Every now and then a smooth voice would come through telling them clear instructions on where to go and who to talk to. Watching their every step, they were told where danger areas where and vague facts about the hosts and guests of the party.

The voice was from someone not even in the room, in fact this person was not too far away tucked safely in the back of a dark green “catering van”. It was close enough so that the bluetooth on the earrings would be able to pick up onto her signal clearly but still far enough away that it wouldn’t seem suspicious next to the other actual catering vehicles.

Surrounded by computer screens and dressed much more casual than your male partners sat [Y/N] [L/N], hands on a keyboard switching from camera to camera to get the best angles of the house to tell Jungkook where to go. On a farther screen you had a full visual of Taehyung and who he was talking to so you could feed him information he would need.

“Taehyung the lady to your right in the navy dress is an heiress and next week she’s hosting another party so get on her good side.”

Taking your words into account, Taehyung moved his attention to focus solely on the young heiress who was quickly flattered by his smooth words and enthralled by him.

The young woman in the van rolled her eyes at the sight, not quite understanding how Taehyung, of all people, could be so suave one moment and then the next he’d be in your personal bubble with his blocky glasses and hair in a mess.

Your eyes shifted to Jungkook, who was in view of the cameras in the kitchen. He was standing off to the side looking like he was taking a break, when he was actually waiting for your instruction. At that moment you started the second part of your mission, hacking and disabling the cameras and security system so Jungkook could do what he needed to do.

Fingers flying on the keys and eyes scanning code you did what you did best and quickly disabled everything you needed, the camera footage around you blacking out one by one as they went out. When you finished disabling the security you switched your communication system to connect with Jungkook’s in-ear.

“Okay Kookie, cameras and security are taken out, I don’t have eyes on you anymore so its up to you to get what we need. Good Luck!” You didn’t expect a response because he was on the job, but he hummed to let you know he heard you before going on about his business.

With that done you switched back over to Taehyung. “Tae, eyes are off and I need you to get information so I can get into her accounts.”

In the house Taehyung smoothly moved over to charm the hostess, his golden tongue weaving stories and compliments to catch her attention and once she was hooked he moved with her to another room to talk more personally. By doing this he managed to get information that would be part of most people’s simple passwords: birthdays, pet names, treasured family members. Taehyung was the best at weaseling information out of people easily and not letting them catch on.

Meanwhile, you hung onto every word spoken between Taehyung and the heiress and put together what could possibly be the combination of things she used for passwords. Of course this didn’t always work and usually you would have to depend on whatever Jungkook ended up getting at the end of the night, but when it did you were easily able to dip into her bank accounts and take an amount that would be beneficial to the three of you, but barely noticeable for someone that had such a large amount coming in weekly.

Once that was done your job was nearly complete, you just needed to wait until the end of the night to meet up with your associates.

You straightened from your position over the keyboard and stretched your arms above you. Idly, you wondered what Taehyung and Jungkook were going to decide to pick up for a late dinner.

“This is the third time this week we’ve had Chinese food can we please eat something else? Anything else?” You groaned when the two boys entered your underground abode carrying two familiar looking take out bags.

“I had a coupon.” Jungkook offers, placing the bag in his hands on the table and taking out the contents.

You rolled your eyes at his explanation. “A coupon? The two of you get to eat fancy pastas and seafood and steak every night and what do I get? Fried rice for a week!”

“You love fried rice though. Didn’t you say once that you would eat it everyday if you could?” Taehyung teased as he bit into an egg roll.

You gave him a bitter look and grab a container to start eating. “I said that when we were ten that doesn’t count!”

“Okay so we made your childhood dream come true!”

“Shut up Tae.”

Jungkook laughs through a mouthful of noodles and Tae smiles as he reaches over to ruffle your hair. “Don’t get upset Cutie, we’ll get you something better next time okay?”

“Yeah! I think I have a coupon for that chicken place you like.” Jungkook pipes in with a mischievous smile and you go to swat at him but he dodges swiftly and sticks his tongue out at you.

“You guys don’t know how lucky you are,” You pouted and returned to what you were eating, “If I was able to go to those snobby parties I would eat so many hors d'oeuvres.”

Jungkook hummed and stole a piece of broccoli from you. “Next time I’ll sneak some out to bring to you.”

You smiled and leaned over the table to to pinch his cheeks. “Aw, Jungkookie really does care about me! This is why you’re my favorite.”

“Hey!” Tae straightened and looked over at the two of you with a pout.

Laughing, you went to tease him when loud beep alerted you and turned your attention to your desk, where your biggest monitor displayed a large red exclamation point in warning. You had programmed your computer for certain warnings and you knew exactly what that means.

“Someone’s trying to hack our system.” You jump up from your seat at the table to go sit in your computer chair and immediately your fingers started running across the keys and your eyes scanned each set of code that went up the screen. Tae and -Jungkook have saddled up to sit behind you and although they don’t know exactly what you’re doing they’re curious to see how everything goes down.

Within thirty minutes you’ve fought the attacker off and are trying to figure out a way to track down whoever it was that knew how to get into your defenses.

“Shit,” you curse when it’s finally revealed to you, “Its the cops.”

Jungkook and Taehyung share glances behind your back and you spin around in your chair to face them. For a moment the three of you are silent, mulling over things in your head before Taehyung breaks the silence.

“I guess that means its time to go.”

“Fuck!”

Min Yoongi curses and slams his hands on the table in frustration. He was kicked out before he could get a even a bit of information. Whoever their hacker was had talent and it pissed him off.

“Shit.” Someone sighs from behind him, Kim Namjoon runs a hand over his face. Now that yoongi failed to hack into their systems correctly whoever it was behind this now knew that they were being investigated. “I’m gonna call for a meeting.”

He stalks out of Yoongi’s office and down the hall to a bigger meeting room where he pages for the other members of his unit.

Kim Seokjin walks in and sees the defeated look on Namjoon’s face and starts setting up so they can start talking and brainstorming on what to do. He starts writing on a whiteboard about what they already knew about who these people where and what exactly they have been doing. “Something bad must’ve happened, thats the same look you had that time Jimin spilled coffee all over your desk and your pants.”

“I would’ve preferred if he did.”

“Really? Last time we had to reprint so many documents and you had to get new pants.”

“You’re right I don’t want to smell like coffee all day again.”

Jung Hoseok walks into the room with his usual smile and bright demeanor, even when he sees the frown on Namjoon’s face. “Uh oh you look like you’re on your third cup of coffee, what happened?”

“Why is everyone talking about coffee suddenly?”

“Because you and Yoongi drink coffee like its water.”

“Well it does have water in it..”

Yoongi walked in soon after, holding a freshly brewed cup of coffee proving Hoseok’s point and making the man laugh. Yoongi looked at him curiously before deciding not to ask questions and taking a seat.

Finally, the newest recruit entered. Park Jimin has been part of the police force for about a year and a half now but has just recently joined this division a few weeks ago. This was his first case and he was determined to do what he could and do it well, despite being known so far as the cute but clumsy one of the bunch.

Four men sat around the large table that faces a whiteboard and Namjoon stood by, ready to deliver the news. “So, our plan to infiltrate and get their information through hacking has failed and now I’m afraid they know someone is after them, I’m hoping they don’t know its us, but with their skill I’m sure they do. So now its time to regroup and decide on a new plan.”

He motioned to the whiteboard where the little information they do know about the group is written. “So to reiterate what we know of these suspects: V, JK, and their unidentified third party who is their tech specialist.”

“V is the socializer, we often see him as the face in parties talking specifically to hosts, while JK is the shadow in the background we don’t know exactly what he does but from what we’ve seen and heard, it is very likely he is the one stealing items.”

“Finally the unknown hacker of the group that we know close to nothing about but we know they’re extremely skilled, so skilled in fact that they’ve completely erased and created new backgrounds for both V and JK so we have no clue who they really are other than the fact that they’re in their early 20s, which appears to be true.”

As he finished up the review he turns back to the other men, looking around the table to see if they have any questions.

Its silent for a second as the group mulls over the information, and Hoseok speaks up. “So, what do we do now boss, since our first attempt failed?”

Namjoon sighs and bites his lip. “Well that is what we’re going to discuss. We have very bare minimum information on the suspects and I think it would be in our best interest to find out more.”

“Is all of their information we found on their backgrounds really fabricated?” Jin asked, shocked that it was possible to completely erase someone’s identity and create something completely new.

Yoongi nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. “I looked for hours and all I could get was an obviously fake social media pages for V and resumes for JK that were sent to catering companies. When we questioned the companies all they had to say about him was that he was a very good but quiet worker, and everyone that V has talked to knows very little about who he really is.”

“They’re like ghosts?” Jimin mumbled from his spot where he was diligently taking notes.

“So the plan I’m offering is that we send in a spy.” Namjoon suggests.

Everyone in the room perks at the suggestion and he takes that as a sign to elaborate. “So, we need someone to try and get more information out of the subjects about who they are and where the third accomplice is, and also to gather enough evidence so we can make arrests. The best way to do this is introduce a spy into the group of wealthy socialites they usually target.”

“So who would you want to be the spy?” Hoseok asks.

“That is something we need to discuss as well. Would anyone want to volunteer?”

Immediately a hand went up, and four pairs of eyes turned to Jimin who had a determined look on his face, puffy lips pressed together and eyes sharp. “I’ll do it.”

“You? You want to do this? Are you sure?” Jin started uneasily, he didn’t want to completely shut down the younger man’s decision but in his head he really couldn’t see him as the one to do this.

Jimin nodded firmly. “I have the abilities to be able to infiltrate easily. I’m around their age range and attractive enough to be able to draw their attention.”

“Are you calling us old?”

Jin leans back in fake shock, hand on his chest as if he had been terribly insulted.  

The younger man shrugged. “You are….older than me….and the suspects.”

Jin gasps and looks around at his other coworkers who manage to avoid his eyes by looking away, but Hoseok was the only one who openly laughed at his dramatic ways.

He turns his attention back to Jimin and opens his mouth to speak, but Namjoon beats him to it, “Jimin, you’re still pretty new at everything here, and you lack in experience when it comes to being in the field so are you sure you would be up to doing something like this?”

Truthfully Namjoon had someone like Hoseok in mind, he had boundless charisma and had experience being undercover before so it made sense to send him in compared to Jimin who was known to be a little clumsy and had no experience whatsoever being undercover.

At the leader’s question Jimin starts to stutter. He didn’t expect Namjoon to question him like this he actually thought volunteering was a good thing. Maybe he really should rethink this whole thing, taking on this job might be a little over his head after all…

“Actually Namjoon,” Yoongi starts. “I think Jimin would be great for this job, he might be a bit inexperienced but that also means he is unknown to anyone that might be familiar to other people we’ve had in the field before. If the suspects have any connections to other criminals who know us they might not know Jimin.”

Jimin couldn’t believe Yoongi out of all people in the room was defending him, as he usually was quieter towards the younger man and until today he didn’t think that Yoongi even knew his first name.

“That is actually a very good point! And I think our Jimin can do it! He’s a really hard worker and when he puts his mind to something he does it very well.” Hoseok includes and Jimin almost wants to cry at the praise.

Namjoon sits quietly for a moment, taking this into account before nodding and looking directly at Jimin. “Okay if Hoseok and Yoongi think you can then I’ll have faith in you as well. Next week theres going to be a benefit dinner and we’re sure the suspects are going to pop up there to try and find their next target. We’ll have to have you ready to go in by then and start gaining their trust and information okay?”

Jimin smiles brightly and nods at the leader, who can’t help but return the smile. “Yes! Okay! Thank you so much for trusting me with this I promise I’ll do all I can so we can finally take these guys down!”

The rest of the men in the room laugh at his eagerness and Hoseok reaches over to ruffle his hair. Namjoon looks over fondly at the younger officer before clearing his throat to gather the attention in the room and announce what they should do now.

“So, the next assignment is to create a new identity for our Jimin.”

A/N: In the next part Jimin and the m/c will meet! I can’t wait!

[shiorinotshiori]

You can't stop me now, not like you did before (Eddie Munson x F!Reader)

You discovered the reason why Eddie broke up with you.

And you also find out that he still comes to basketball games, just to watch you cheer.

Part 1: You looked so good in green OG Ending: Finally Home

Warnings: Swearing, very slight violence, mentions of blood, Jason ugh

Notes: ' ' means it is the characters' inside thoughts

IDK HOW TO EDIT ON MY PHONE BUT I FORGOT TO SAY THAT ELLIOT'S AN OC BTW!! Hwbshsh

Word count: 3.3k

Request: "If there is a part two I will give anything to see y/n corner eddie and lay out that she still loves him and wants to be with him. Then when he starts the “you deserve better” she gets all “stop trying to make choices for me! I can make my own choices and my choice is YOU!” And then there is crying and probably making out under the bleachers" a/n: I did some changes hope thats ok! n sorry if this isn't what u expect ahghahd but yeah i didn't know if an 'under' exists in Hawkins High's bleachers so i changed the scene to hallways

I don't give permission to repost or translate my work please have mercy

It’s been months for both Eddie and you, but even so, the long haired ‘freak’ never seem to leave your mind. He’s been there since the day you met him, and even after the break-up, he was still there. It’s like Eddie’s been living in your head, rent-free; he made it his little home when he first gave you his shirt. You never understood Eddie’s change of mind regarding your relationship- yes, you knew his insecurities crept once in a while, but it never got to the point that he thought about breaking up with you. Before, it was never an option for Eddie. If there was a solution to his thoughts, it was always to fix his path but never leave you- at least that was until the ‘party’ thing; which you never knew about.

You spent days thinking about what had happened, that can’t be the only reason why you separated and left the most precious thing you had. For almost two years, you were attached to each other- as if one couldn’t live without the other. So why?

Little did you know you were about to find out soon.

The popular crowd arranged another get-together-event, just for the sake of partying and drinking and getting drunk- a.k.a, the usual. You needed something to distract yourself from the man who wouldn’t leave your mind so… you went, thinking that for a moment, you’d be able to forget and blur the painful memory of your last talk with Eddie. Ever since the separation, you never got the chance to talk with him again. Not when he kept avoiding you like the plague. At least that’s what you thought.

You and the other cheerleaders, along with the jocks, were hanging out in Andy’s house. You guys were upstairs, sat in a circle- just exchanging remarks to others’ story. You were not relating to any conversation that was going around in your circle, you stood up from where you were sitting. “Hey, I’m gonna go get drinks. Anyone want some?” you offered, hoping to get a very short time alone in the kitchen. “Ah, can I get a beer?” Jason raised his hand to get your attention, making sure you get him what he’s asking for. You only nodded back because it seems like he’s the only one who wanted to drink more.

You silently walked down the stairs, immediately making your way towards the refrigerator. Grabbing two more drinks, you went and rested yourself by the counter. You were slowly breathing in and out, getting that much needed air you were craving for while seated with people you don’t even like. Except for maybe Chrissy and Elliot. You just stood there, thinking being alone would help you but, as the silence continues- you just find your mind wondering back to a certain person. ‘Wish I was with Eddie instead’ you thought. God knows how much you miss silent times with Eddie. Believe it or not, Eddie can shut his mouth sometimes. He isn’t exactly as loud as he is whenever he’s with the Hellfire. There were times he enjoyed just laying on his bed, with his arms wrapped around you, staring at the trailer’s dirty ceiling.

As much as you dreaded to return to people who you only pretend to like, you had no other choice- you wanted a distraction and this was just it. Again, you silently walked up the stairs, hearing them laugh. You thought they were just laughing at each other’s stories again but, you stopped halfway when you heard a name. A name that never left you to find peace. “-Eddie.”

You knew that maybe it was just the usual ‘bring other’s down so we can feel better about ourselves’ thing that popular people tend to do. But no, you didn’t expect to find answers that explains the sudden break-up between you and Eddie. “Right! Like, I thought after our little talk with the freak, he’s still gonna swallow up his pride and stay with (Y/N). But, I guess we got it thru his head that they don’t belong together.” You heard a girl say.

“Wait- wait, so can you actually describe what happened? You talked? With the freak?” It was Andy’s turn to question, evident to his tone that he was frowning. Quickly followed by Jason, answering instead “Nah, we just went and explained that maybe… (Y/N) deserved better, ya know? Not that we actually care but, we can’t have OUR kind having connections, romantic or friendly, connections with the outcasts. It will ruin us! And I believe, we did (Y/N) a favor. She was once a lost soul, and we just saved her ass from being sacrificed to the devil.” There’s that joke, that running joke about Eddie being Satan’s disciple. If only they knew that Eddie’s better than all of them, not that they will ever admit that- but at least some people knew. You knew.

After hearing them laugh at your ex, it made you sick in the stomach. How could you ever thought that maybe you’d get along with them one day? Once again, you were so wrong about the people in Hawkins. Some people just don’t deserve a second chance.

It felt like ages before you realized what was happening- THEY were the reason why Eddie broke up with you. You were angry, no, you were furious. You could go up to them now, maybe even slap Jason’s smug face off, but you couldn’t. Deep inside you knew that wouldn’t be ideal, at least not for now. Your last game to cheer on, is in two days. You couldn’t find it in yourself to ruin (almost) everyone’s favorite event in Hawkins High, because if you confront them now- it’s for sure that hell will break loose. You were not that selfish, unlike those people. So, you decided to play pretend again, pretend you actually tolerate their kind. Then after the game, you’ll tell them to go fuck themselves. That was your plan.

You waited for another minute to pass before fully going upstairs, greeting them with one of your fake smiles. “Hi! Sorry I took so long to get our drinks, Jason. It’s just that uh… my mom called. She said she wanted me back like uh… right now. Says she needs me for something. So uh, sorry I have to go home early.” You almost threw the canned beer at Jason’s face, but you managed to refrain yourself from doing so. ‘Not today (Y/N), the day will come’ you promised yourself. You’d make him pay one of these days.

“You need a ri-“ before Elliot finished his sentence, you were down and running towards the door. You were still upset and didn’t want anyone near you, not even the most tolerable person in the basketball team.

You spent the remaining days, before the game, thinking on how you’d approach Eddie. Now that you knew, you want- NEED to talk to him. You were not gonna let this go so easy, not like the first time you thought Eddie’s deciding for himself. He was just provoked by some asshole who thinks he runs the whole school. You couldn’t let Eddie go, not again. Not after what you heard. You hoped that there was still a chance. You think that maybe you can convince Eddie that you don’t want anyone but him.

It’s finally game day. You never thought the day would come that you’d be wearing contacts. These past few days, with what you learned- plus your eye sight demanding for a better vision; gave you massive headaches. So, your mom convinced you to try and give contacts a second chance, hoping it would lessen your headaches too.

It’s game day, also your final cheer in Hawkins. You gave it your all, cheering and dancing your heart out. Of course, you didn’t know but, as usual- Eddie sat in the darkest corner. He couldn’t miss your last performance, he couldn’t miss the last time he’d be able to see you like this.

You were still standing near the bleachers after your routine, trying to get used to the contacts by looking far ahead of you. And that’s when you locked eyes with someone. That someone being the one and only Eddie Munson. What he didn’t expect, was to lock eyes with you. ‘Fuck! Is she staring at me? No, no, couldn’t be’ Eddie thought, he was confident you wouldn’t be able to see him. With his eyes still wide, he tried to look elsewhere, slightly scratching the back of his neck, pretending he didn’t just catch your gaze.

You felt a familiar lump in your throat, the same lump that kept hunting you for months of trying not to cry- about the guy who’s now acting oblivious in front of you. “Eddie…?” you whispered only to yourself, still not believing that he came to watch you again. Call yourself assuming but, you knew Eddie never had a reason to go to a basketball game before you. You were frozen at the spot, your eyes following the man’s retreating figure. Wait… retreating figure? You then realized that Eddie’s making his way down the bleachers, trying to desperately get away from you, again. Sitting at the last column made it easier for Eddie to go down and straight out the doors leading to the hallway.

You quickly ran towards the same door that Eddie wen thru. There was no time to waste, this was your chance, maybe the only chance you’d get to talk to Eddie again. You reached the hallway and saw Eddie’s back turned to you, he was resting an arm against one of the lockers. Eddie’s heart was racing so fast, not from the way he quickly ran to avoid you but, from the fact that you just saw him. ‘She saw me holy fuc-‘ his thoughts soon interrupted by you, calling his name. “Jesus Christ!” His arm that was resting- separated from the locker when his whole body literally jumped, spooked when you spoke. That’s another thing he didn’t expect, he didn’t expect you to follow him. So, hearing you almost scared him to death; aside from the fact that he got surprised by your voice, it was none other than YOUR voice.

He had no other choice but to face you- he had been wishing to see your face up close again but, not this way. Not when he didn’t know what to tell you now that you’re near him. Eddie never thought he’d talk to you, maybe if he did knew, he would’ve at least practiced some lines in front of the mirror.

“HI! No wait- I didn’t mean for that to come off so… aggressive…” he trailed off. ‘Yeah man, way to go Eddie’ he silently cursed. It’s been months okay, he didn’t know how to act around you anymore. You slowly came closer, swallowing before asking “Why… why were you at the game?” you just needed an answer before fully committing into telling him you now knew why he broke your relationship off.

“I uh… like basketball?” Eddie had never been a good liar, he was also aware of that. So, before you could reply and comment on his obvious lie- he just said the first thing that came into mind “You sure your boyfriend wouldn’t mind you talking to me?” now that shocked you, where the hell did Eddie got that idea?

“Wha- Boyfriend?! Eddie what are you talking about?”

“Oh, you know, the guy you hugged last game?” He scoffed, remembering the bitter sight he saw last time he went to watch you.

“Last game? Who did I hug last gam- You mean Elliot?! Wait! LAST GAME? You were also there?” At this point, you were flabbergasted. Eddie might have accidentally admitted that he’s been watching the recent games and it gave you the little tiniest bit of hope.

“Oh wow! Also an E- didn’t know you had a type (Y/N).” Eddie cocked his head to the side, saying it with pure sarcasm while smiling- a smile that’s not an indication of happiness. You did NOT expect that this will be your first conversation after months and it irritated you. “Eddie, me and Elly are not-“

“AND a nickname too! That sounds just like my name! This is great, so fantastic, sweetheart!” Eddie’s jealousy turned into frustration, an obvious one, as he raised both of his arms, bent in a way you’d think he was shrugging but that’s just Eddie letting out his frustration with his dramatic expressions. “Will you please stop cutting me off?! You didn’t give me a chance to talk last time! Now, I’m the one who’s gonna talk and you better listen to me Edward!” You’ve had enough of Eddie’s attitude, now it’s your turn to corner him against the lockers and tell him everything.

“Me and that guy you’re jealous of- are nothing BUT friends. I hugged him because he’s the only guy I felt comfortable with after you left me and avoided me as if I had some type of- some type of disease! I couldn’t even go near the Hellfire club! You avoided me like you hate me so much but then watch me in what? In every god fucking game there is after we broke up! I don’t understand what you want me to do Eddie. You’ve left me confused!” This felt familiar, but now the roles were reversed. You were now the one leaving Eddie speechless. Your eyes were hurting and your vision’s all blurry. Tears in your eyes made the contacts burn but you didn’t care. You were pouring your heart out to Eddie.

“Why? Why didn’t you just tell me that Jason and his stupid- his stupid friends told you something that made you decide for the both of us?” You were trying to choke out the words but, it was getting harder for you to talk. Beyond your tears, you saw Eddie looked down in shame for a moment, his fingers fiddling with his rings- a nervous mannerism of Eddie that you learned when you were dating.

He finally looked up to you, his own eyes filling with tears. “Because they were right (Y/N)! You deserve be-“

“Enough with the I deserve better bullshit Eddie! That’s not your decision to make, that was supposed to be MY choice and you took-“ You started accusingly pointing your index finger on Eddie’s chest “-you took that away the moment you broke up with me. You know damn well that my choice is always gonna be you. It’s always gonna be you Eddie. You can’t stop me now, not like you did before. Because I still love you, and I know you still love me too unless you miraculously started liking basketball that’s why you-“

And the moment you and Eddie were waiting for, happened. To feel each other’s lips again. Your hand that was tapping against Eddie’s chest was stopped by his own hand. He was holding yours to his chest, near his heart, as if to let you know that you were still the beat of it. Eddie’s eyes were closed but yours were surprised. His free arm snaked around your waist to pull you closer, tightening it each second, afraid to ever let you go again.

His tongue licked your lower lip, asking permission to enter. That’s when you closed your eyes and brought him closer- if that was even still possible. While your tongue moved with Eddie’s- he gently pressed your back against the lockers, his kiss was getting a bit aggressive; making up for the months he wasted moping around instead of doing this with you. Finally, both of you were out of breath.

Eddie rested his forehead against yours, last time he did, it did not end well- but this time? It was a new beginning as he said “ ‘Course I still love you sweetheart. What can I say? It was my mistake for letting you go. I- I never should’ve listened to those assholes, now I just wasted time that was supposed to be ours. Sorry, princess. Let me make it up to you?” Other people would assume that Eddie could never be defined as ‘soft’ and ‘gentle’- but this was your Eddie. He’s handling you like a fragile object against him as he hugged both of his arms around, resting his chin on top of your head.

With your faced pressed on his chest, you managed to mumble out “You already did, Eddie. Now, promise me we’ll leave together? For real this time?” You felt the vibration of his “MmHmm.”

He moved to gently lift your chin with his finger, one of his cold rings brushing on you, as he looked down to meet your eyes. “You think that- after that hot make out sesh in the middle of the hallway… I’m letting you go?” He chuckled “Yeah, no can do, sweetheart. I, guarantee you, that you’re now stuck- again- with Eddie the Banished!” There he goes again with his dramatic monologues, you thought but- it only made you smile as you look up to him, admiring him while posing like a total nerd- fist closed, arm extended up in the air with the other arm wrapped around you.

You were about to lean in and kiss him again when the doors to your right burst open, loud victorious screams were heard before it stopped, ‘Oh righhhht, the game’ which both you and Eddie totally forgot- now you’ve got the rest of the cheerleaders and the basketball team staring at the both of you; in a very promising position.

“(Y/N)? What the fuck? Is this freak bothering you again?” Jason stepped forward, ready to show his friends that he’s gonna be the ‘hero’ of the day again. “Actually no, I don’t think my boyfriend, will ever bother me. What ya’ think Eddie?”

“No, no, I don’t think I do bother you, sweetheart. Considering that we just finished MAKING OUT in the HALLWAY” Eddie made sure to emphasize the words ‘making out’ and ‘hallway’ which made you laugh. And, the look of your former teammates was priceless. It’s just the usual disgusted looks but, it was better than their fake smiles and greetings.

“You’re throwing your life away (Y/N), You’re really gonna go back to this los-“ a girl started but immediately gasped when you held your middle finger up to her. “Yes, and I, quit. I mean, it was the last game but yeah. Go fuck yourselves!” You held a sweet but sarcastic smile. Your hand making its way towards Eddie’s, to intertwine them.

As you walk away from the crowd, “You fre-!” You and Eddie heard Jason started, so you turn around, ready to deal with another drama scene when you saw Jason had his fist up in the air, ready to swing at Eddie- when someone punched Jason hard. On the face. His nose bleeding. Oh shit it’s bleeding. “That’s what you get for being an asshole, you had it coming mate. Not sorry.” You looked at Elliot, who punched Jason by the way. You mouthed a silent ‘thank you’ to him. Elliot nodded to both Eddie and you- before walking to the opposite direction. Also leaving the toxic people behind.

You were able to breathe again, finally that’s over. “Hey… sorry for the accusation earlier. I was just, y’know, kind of jealous? But he’s cool, he’s cool.” Eddie shyly admitted, you smiled at your boyfriend, taking his fidgeting hands. “S’kay, at least I got you back now.” You continued to walk down the hallway with Eddie, hands still together.

Eddie then asked you a question he’s been meaning to ask since you two made up. “So, princess… since we’re uhm, together again…”

“What is it, Eddie?”

“Can the fair maiden, join me, in today’s Hellfire campaign?” Eddie smiled as he heard you squeal from excitement. He sure missed his favorite player and you with your one and only dungeon master.

You were so glad to have him back, now stronger than ever. Eddie will never make the same mistake again, not when you showed him everyday that you needed him as much as he needed you.

You never deserved better, because Eddie Munson was the best.

_________________________________________

Here's your request! @stormcellarwitch hope you liked it <3

[violetsandfluff]

Skyline

SOMEONE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REMIND ME TO EDIT THIS AND REPOST IT IN NOVEMBER/DECEMBER BECAUSE I WANNA DO A CHRISTMAS-TYPE SERIES AROUND THAT TIME. THANK YOU!

Pure fluff: word count 1.1k+ It’s a weird concept, lmk what you think.

A long restless journey by air through the dark sky delivered you safely into the hands of London’s suburbs. You could barely stand from exhaustion, making Harry have to hold you upright. He enjoyed it, though, no matter what he said.

A taxi carried you closer and closer to the city itself. Your eyelids were so heavy with inevitable sleep that you could no longer open them, but Harry was wide awake. Tour life had practically given him an immunity to sleep deprivation.

“Y/N.”

No response.

“Y/N, Honey, wake up. Open your eyes f’me, please?”

His voice tickled your ear and sent tingles down your spine. “I’m sleepy, Harry.”

“I know, Love, but just open your eyes for one second. See the city.”

You opened your eyes and your breath caught in your throat. The city loomed ahead like a night light, illuminating the sky with millions of colors.

“This city doesn’t sleep,” Harry said softly. “Look at the skyline and how much it resembles a heartbeat.” He took this opportunity to place a hand on your chest.

You saw the heartbeat. Your jaw fell with wonder and Harry continued, his gaze transfixed on everything ahead. It was like he was reciting a lullaby that he had been told since he was a little boy.

“This city is always awake and bustling. It has a rhythm that is unmatchable by even the greatest cities worldwide. It’s like a song that lives inside of you.”

Your eyes fell shut again listening to Harry’s slow, low ramble.

“It gets stuck in your head but you can feel it. Like a feather being traced down your chest.” he traced a finger lightly down your chest.

“It looks like millions of candles pointed up to the night, warding it off.” He took every opportunity to relate to your synesthesia. “It smells like grandma’s house. We grew up there, watching cookies bake and listening to Grandpa talk about the massive fish he’s caught. When I was a boy...”

You leaned into Harry’s chest as tears flooded your eyes. He was finding it hard to speak as well the closer the city came, but he continued through the pain.

“It is the catchiest rhythm once you’ve heard it, but millions are too afraid to try. They don’t want to succumb to the musical artists taking the world by storm.”

That was ironic coming from him, but you continued to listen.

“See that,” he pointed, “See that right there, that fog? It’s a luminous haze that rises like a halo above the city. Millions, probably billions of lights shine on it every night. It’s like a lighthouse that guides you home. The pull on your heart,” he tugged on your hair, “is too much to resist. Sometimes you’ve gotta come home.”

He was aware that you were drifting off, but that didn’t stop him from continuing to recite what lived inside of him. “The lights in the city are an everlasting reminder of this night.” When he said this, you opened your eyes to stare at him.

His face was seemingly glowing from the inside out. His eyes were fixed on the rapidly approaching city and they were gleaming with excitement.

“Why tonight?”

Your voice startled him for a moment, but the second he regained his composure, he continued. “You’ve never been, have you?”

You shook your head.

“This will be the picture of London that stays permanently engrained in that pretty little mind of yours. It’s special,” his voice was low, slow, and relaxing, “isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“Thats why I didn’t want to fly directly into London. I wanted you to see this. This is our home now, Love,” he promised. “Only for a little while, but some time is better than no time, right?”

You nodded wordlessly and Harry caressed your cheeks.

“I know you weren’t crazy about this idea, Y/N, and thank you for sticking with me. But you won’t regret this. It will be hard for both of us to leave.”

“But we’ll leave together, right?”

“Well, I sure hope so, Y/N,” Harry said jokingly before his tone turned serious. “But if anything happens while we’re here I hope you’ll come back.”

“What do you mean, if anything happens?” Harry was beginning to concern you. “You don’t want to break up with me, do you?” Your sleep-deprived state had you on the brink of tears.

“Oh, Love,” Harry wrapped his warm arms around you. “Of course not! ‘Ts not what I meant!”

“And why do you want me to come back?”

“Because I know you’d want to.”

The closer the city grew, the more traffic and horns you could hear.

“Do you hear it, Baby? The melody of the city?”

You didn’t. You only heard a cacophony of car horns and whirring engines. “No,” you said truthfully. “No, Harry, I don’t.”

“Let me help you then.” He placed his hands on your shoulders and put his lips closer to your ears, lowering his voice further.

“Listen to the car horns. Only the car horns.”

That wasn’t hard to do.

“Now I want you to pat your leg every time you hear one blare.”

You began patting your leg. A strange rhythm came off of your hand and it streamed up to your ears.

Harry saw the look of recognition crossing your face. “Do you hear it now, Love?”

“I hear horns.”

“Well, that’s a start, isn’ it?” The inherent twinkle in his eye when he looked at you, falling asleep against his shoulder was priceless. “Now, listen to the car. Feel as it moves you.” “You sound like some kind of... cult leader.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just do it. Keep tapping--yes, that’s it.”

“Now I want you to stop tapping, plug your ears and close your eyes.”

A look of skepticism crossed your face but you did as you were told. Warm hands pulled your hands away from your ears a matter of minutes later and you stared at Harry with a look of bewildered amusement.

“What... how...?”

“Funny, isn’t it?”

You nodded wordlessly.

“Remember when Finneas showed the world the sound effects hidden in Billie’s songs? You can’t unhear those, can you?”

You shook your head. “It’s so clever!”

“You’ll never forget the sound of the city, will you?”

“Well...” you stammered. “I guess not!”

“I broke it down; stripped it down to the beat so you could hear it. Correct?”

“Yeah. And?”

“I let you listen to it all together. You heard it with your ears and eyes shut, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Are you excited to stay here now?”

All you could do was nod. “It’s magical.”

“Magical indeed,” he agreed.

[golbrocklovely]

I’m the anon that asked about the shipping: colby continued to like shipping edits of him and shea until 2019/2021 i think they are friends but i don’t think they were ”just friends” lol i think they definitely had something more at one point which made the shipping not that weird or uncomfortable to him, same thing with amber i think they are friends but they have fun with the shipping and they flirt around jokingly, but with stas i honestly think they are just friends even the hugging/dancing is clearly innocent to me so thats why i think he doesn’t like it, he never deleted so many comments before he must be pissed lmao (even though she (stas) liked shipping edits/comments before so she’s ok with it HE is the one who doesn’t like it)

i mean, that's a possibility. personally, i don't think that's the case. i think, depending on the day, colby likes to stir things up in the fandom just to see how we'll react. that's why he agreed to all those tiktoks with amber. while they definitely have a flirty relationship, he literally said in the video "oh you know they'll love it" so…. i think it's a 50/50 chance he wanted to stir the pot and the other just posting it bc he wanted to, and shouldn't have to overthink every thing he reposts anyway.

and yeah i agree about stas and him. i think they are just platonic, and i think maybe he feels protective over her bc she's one of the newer girl friends he has, and god knows how many he's lost bc of this fandom. so maybe he's like "we're not playing this game anymore."

i know she likes ship edits occasionally but again, while she might be okay with it, i don't think he is. also, i think a lot of edits have her and colby in them, but they aren't ship edits so much as they are friend edits, but it's whatever lol

[dragonstim-moved]

so heres how we make stimboards

So some friends asked about it, and i thought. eh. why not?

we’ve seen some other stimboard tutorials out there online, but the way we do it is quite different, so that’s why i thought i’d make one.

Just a disclaimer: theres no single “right’ way to make stimboards. we just do it this way because it’s a lot faster from our experience.

tutorial under the cut!

Okay so what do you need:

- a computer with a browser that can open quite a few internet tabs at once - a decent internet connection (unless you are okay with stimboards taking a long time)

that’s it! you don’t need a computer that can download images, because we won’t be downloading anything at all. most stimboard tutorials require you to download the gifs, but this way is easier.

The actual process:

most of you will be familiar with tumblrs different post types, the one we’re going to use is the image type. which is what allows us to put 9 images in a good good grid like you see in stimboards!

so when you start making an image post, you’ll see an option to upload an image, or add an image from the web.

most tutorials use the former, and we used to do that too. but since it requires downloading all the gifs on your computer just to upload them, we’re going to choose the latter option instead.

which just requires you to copy the image url, and paste it in here.

Now onto finding the right gifs:

we had a tough time figuring this one out, and we still don’t know the best process of doing it. but here’s how we do it at the moment.

go to your favorite stim blogs homepage, make sure they tag their gifs, then add, after that url “/tagged/[color you want here]”. So if i wanted to make an all green stimboard, i’d type in /tagged/green.

sometimes you want specific kinds of gifs instead of different colors. there are blogs that tag using this system as well, like “tagged/slime” or “tagged/wax_melts”.

(Our favorite blogs for this process are stim-dot-calm, gottastim, and soft-stims. but really it’s up to your own preference.)

and now the process is just... going through the tagged posts, looking for ones that look appealing or well, stimmy.

Once you find a gif you want to save, open the original post in a new tab. save the tab until the very end unless you decide you no longer want to use the gif. this is so that you can correctly credit your gifs at the end.

the reason you want a decent internet connection is because you will be looking at. a lot. of gifs. before finding the right ones. at least thats how it is in our case. gifs take a lot of data to load too. it’s probably the thing that’s going to be dealbreaker.

Making the actual board:

after collecting (or even halfway through depending on how you work) all the gifs, you can copy and paste the image urls into the tumblr post, and rearrange them.

 for beginners i’d say just go with what looks the best. we subconsciously use a lot of theory about combining textures and colors and speed of the gifs. but i can’t really explain that, it’s something you gain with practice. it’s similar to making moodboards, except more complicated because the gifs actually move.

but jay? you ask. sometimes you have a still image you made yourself in the middle of that board, how do i add that?

we just use an image hosting service (discord in our case, which isnt made for image hosting but it’s what’s the most available for us) and then copy the url from there.

Editing gifs:

sometimes gifs aren’t square either, or you just want a slight color tweak. that’s when we use ezgif. it’s a gif editing site that allows you to edit gifs in a lot of ways. we mostly make use of the filters and cropping features. nothing fancy, it’s easy to figure out on your own i’d say.

Crediting: 

the most tedious part! add a little credit section at the bottom. our format is:

x x x | x x x | x x x

but again thats up to personal preference, go through all your tabs, copy the link to the post containing the gif you used. paste it onto the x that corresponds with said gif, and there you go. you just credited a gif. now do this for.. every single tab you have open. make sure not to skip a gif or confuse the tabs.

sometimes the blogs we use will have reblogged a post from someone we can’t interact with because of their dni. we just don’t use their gifs because, that’s, what a dni is for? sometimes the reblogs will link to a post of a blog that has moved or deleted. then we just link to the reblog itself. same goes for stimboards that reposted the gifs.

And that’s pretty much all there is to it? i don’t know if i explained this well, like, at all. sheesh i have been talking for a long time now. it’s probably better if i stop here since my sister wants to watch a movie with us.

feel free to ask things if you have more questions? i’ll try my best to explain.

thank you for reading!! and happy stimming!

[erable-writes]

Prucan Week Day #3: Moonlight Date

Day Three: Unconscious, Illusions, Intuition

    Honestly, Today was a good day for Gilbert. He got to sleep in as it was his day off, his little brother didn't yell at him for God-knows-what, he got to take the dogs to the park and play with them for a good hour, and as he was picking up lunch from his favourite cafe, an adorable little blond approached him shyly and asked him if he’d be interested in going out that night. Really, his day couldn't get much better. As Gilbert sat in front of the Television, watching football (Germany vs Switzerland, no contest) his phone suddenly buzzed. He grabbed at the couch a few times, trying to locate the device without actually turning to look (because he was so awesome he didn't need things like sight to get his phone. Suck it, Ludwig). After a full minute of useless grabbing, his hand connects with his phone, and he smirks in victory (which Ludwig doesn't see, but Gilbert makes sure to anyway, just in case Ludwig can sense it). Turning it on, he sees a message from the cute blond.

Hey, I got off work a little early. If you want, we can meet for coffee before we go out?

    Gilberts smirk widens by a noticeable fraction. Oh, tonight is going to be good. He's off the couch in a heartbeat, shrugging on his deep blue coat and pulling on his black gloves.

“Yo, Luddy, I’m goin’ out. Dunno when I’ll be back. Hold down the fort for me, ‘kay?”

    And before Ludwig can actually respond, he's out the door.

--------------------

The cute blond, who is actually named Matthew, is somehow even cuter in prolonged dosages. He’s a nervous type, eager to please and horrified by even the slightest of inconveniences he may commit, making him the perfect type for friendly teasing. He likes sweets and animals and nature, and as he gets more and more nervous he slips into a light french accent, hiding behind his wavy flax-coloured hair, gazing through the tangles with enchanting violet eyes. Gilbert laughs at his partner's shyness, causing him to blush deep red and try to back further away.

In short, Matthew is condensed joy.

Gilbert takes satisfaction in every moment he spends with Matthew. Every smile is a prize, every laugh a treasure, and Gilbert realizes hes falling hard for someone he met only a few hours ago, but hey, love is blind, or something stupid and sappy like that. So Gilbert works to make Matthew just as happy as he is. He compliments his accent, which causes Matthew to balk slightly and blush, stuttering out some apology: apparently he didn't notice he’d changed accents. Gilbert tactfully covered Matthews unintentional slip up by using his limited knowledge of french to tell him how cute he was.

Matthews' small, surprised smile made having to swallow his pride worth it.

They spent an unknown amount of hours like that: sipping hot drinks and chatting with each other. It was bliss; Gilbert could talk, and Matthew would listen. Matthew laughed, and Gilbert felt warmth fill his heart. 

It was a good night.

-----------------------------

“So, um,” Matthew starts, hesitates immediately, then steels himself with a long breath and ventures bravely on, “Would you, maybe, um, like to go… out?”

Gilbert blinks thoughtfully at this. Sure, they'd been out for the better part of the day already, with the sun dipping low under the horizon and the moon shining far overhead, but Matthew had been eluding to some greater plan all night. Even now, Matthew fidgeted back and forth, eager and nervous for an answer.

Gilbert smiled. God, he was too cute for this world. “Alright, lead the way, schatzi.”

Matthew instantly brightens, standing and ushering Gilbert closer. Gilbert pays the tab (because he can be a gentleman, suck it, Ludwig) and they're off. Matthew grabs Gilbert by the wrist, excitedly tugging him forward, and Gilbert is enamoured by his sudden energy. Matthew laughs airily as they walk.

“I’ve been waiting for this all night. You’re really gonna love this.”

They walk for at least twenty minutes. When Matthew finally slows, they stand on the edge of town, only a set of old, decommissioned train tracks stopping them from truly being out of city bounds. Gilbert looks around, trying to identify what's so great about this. An old trainyard doesn't really scream First Date Material to him, but maybe he's just old fashioned. Matthew turns to smile brightly at him, his eyes gleaming in the muted moonlight. Another insistent tug pulls Gilbert into a train car, where Matthew pats the ground with about as much force as his small frame can offer. Gilbert makes himself comfortable as Matthew himself sits by the door, peering out every few minutes and scanning the area. The train car is dusty, dark, desolate, and overall unpleasant, but Matthew still seems excited so Gilbert humours him. They wait like this for only ten minutes, chatting idly, before Matthew suddenly shushes him, peering out into the darkness once more. Now that their voices have died, Gilbert hears the crunch, crunch, crunch of someone approaching. Now his interest has truly peaked. What is happening now? Did Matthew enlist someone's help for this date? His question is answered when Matthew suddenly leans out of the train car, hands latching around whoever is outside. A startled yelp rings out before Matthew reels back in with his catch; Gilbert cannot see much, but the figure appears to be a young woman, who looks thoroughly confused and frazzled.

“What is-”

Is all she manages before there's a loud crack. Gilbert stares in horrible, wide-eyed disbelief. Matthew cradles the woman's head in his arms, acting like everything is fine and he didn't just snap her neck right in front of Gilbert's face. Matthew leans down, completely blocking her head from view, and Gilbert hears another snap as more bones break.

Somehow, Gilbert doesn’t vomit.

“What the fuck.” is the best he can manage, and honestly, its a miracle hes speaking in sentences and not screaming, and/or running as far way as he can get. Matthew looks back up at him, except it's not Mathew at all. It's a bestial figure, with long antlers akin to an elk, and skin the colour of the moon. His eyes are still purple, but there's no visible sclera, only glinting irises. 

“Is something wrong?”, Matthew asks, somehow managing to sound genuinely worried about Gilbert but not the dead women in his arms, “Do you not eat women?” 

“I- What the fuck, no, I dont eat-- what the fuck?” forget that thought about sentences. Gilbert is still impressed his lunch is in his stomach.

“Oh… would you rather her mind? I thought you’d eat flesh, but… we can share?”

    “What the fuck are you on? You can’t… eat people, thats fucking… you’re, you’re fucking sick, kid. What the fuck?”  

Matthew frowns. “Are you not… a demon?”

        “What? No, I'm not… you can't, why would you, demons aren't even real.”

“..Oh. Oh. I thought… with your eyes, and your… uh…”

Matthew trails off, looking almost guilty. Gilbert continues to stare at the dead body between them. Several tense seconds pass.

“Well”, Matthew finally begins, and Gilbert's eyes snap up to him, widening as he sees the displeased look plastered across Matthews face, “If you’re not supernatural, then I can’t allow you to know about this anymore.”

Gilbert doesn't have time to scream before Matthew descends upon him.

-------------------------

“...ert, Gilbert, wake up, you useless moron!”

    Gilbert groans as he slowly opens his eyes. He’s draped across the couch with his brother looming over him, looking about as angry as usual.

“I have work today, so you're in charge of the dogs. Do not forget to feed them, Aster needs to be given medication at 11 a.m, and Feliciano-”

“Did something happen last night?” Gilbert mumbles out, much to his brothers chagrin. He never did like being cut off.

“Your friend Matthew brought you home. Apparently you got so drunk you passed out and made a complete fool of yourself in front of everyone.”

Ludwig glanced at the clock, sighed, and turned towards the door.

“I have to leave now. Do not forget to feed my dogs.”

    Gilbert grunts in affirmation as the door slams. He tries very hard to remember anything about last night, but he's drawing blanks. The only thing he remembers is bright violet eyes against the pale moonlit sky. His phone suddenly vibrates in his pocket. Gilbert quickly pulls it out, turning on the little device. There's a new message from Matthew. 

Last night was really fun. Maybe we can go out again sometime?

Gilbert smiles a little. A night out with Matthew sounds harmless enough. ------------------- (reposted, now edited) A little longer than my last one. Really, I just wanted to write Canada as a demon. I also couldn't resist using ‘Misinterpretation’ from the reverse prompt.

[la5t-res0rt]

Okay but it literally, LEGALLY, isn't classified as sim cp. You don't have to look at it if you want. And none of those things on that list are okay: antis shouldn't be sending death threats, babes shouldn't be either. Name calling is also out of the window because its childish and stupid. And making fun of people or invalidating their identities is wrong too. But I dlnt think you understand that /both/ sides do all that. You cant sit here and have a double standard like that.

oh i understand perfectly well

i just dont think you do

yeah the behavior in both sides can be pretty crummy but if you literally think that people shouldnt be called out for tolerating this sort of behavior that is literally harmful to so many people myself fucking included like oh fuck would i have loved to have never had to look at the content but its all the fuck over the place and so many of the shippers are so fucking entitled and so conceited that they are actively ASKING for it that one chicks ask box is a fucking taunt she lives for the attention good or bad

at this point I have a side that i favor because the other side sent my friend death threats sent me threats of violence belittled my mental health stole my friends art and maliciously reposted and edited their artwork that same side made incredibly upsetting artwork about causing harm to an actor i

the same side that bullied a fourteen year old after they had the nerve to speak up about the shit going on the same side that came for me for not knowing every single detail of said fourteen year olds very complex and not at all my business mental illness

the side that took something that gave me so much comfort and happiness and made me remember the abuse i endured when I was thirteen i hate that the internet is still such a ducking shitty place to be a lonely kid who just wants to be liked

the same side that writes romanticized rape and writes a black lgbt+ character being a subject of abuse the same side who thinks stories of characters of color need to struggle and endure pain for it to be a valid piece of writing or the side that talks down to young people and minors and then turning around and writing graphic content involving a teenage girl

a side that includes a transmed guy who is so vile that i honest to god use the word hate to describe me feelings for him

but yeah the side that pointed out that maybe saying that you basically only view women as sex objects in that you would perform sex acts for compensation with them but not actually pursue relationships with is a problematic statement or maybe the jewish teenager who asked someone to stop throwing the term nazi around THOSE are the real villains of the story theyre the ones that need to be taught a damn lesson jesus h christ

if you are still talking about the rae biphobia fiasco literally none of us ever said she wasnt bi that I know of i know i didnt we simply pointed out that what she said was an inherantly biphobic statement being lgbt+ doesnt mean you cant belittle other identities look at nasti and how he feels about the trans experience as if he owns the damn thing ugh fucking hell you made me mention these people by name thats how cranky i am

basically on top of all the shitty things done to me and my friends I dont want people using their shit triggering content to hurt people like i was hurt

also in the United States simulated cp is only okay if it passes this thing called the miller test and buddy pal chumbo nearly all the work ive had the great misfortune fails at least one of the three prongs of the miller test the whole area is very murky and not well defined but our neighbor nation of Canada (if youre in the us) is full stop no cp of any kind no ifs ands or butts

why dont you go tell nasti to shut his yap about solar or tell rae to gather her cronies and fucking chill and stop bugging me because im getting very sick of having to tell people how i feel and why i do what i do if you really think both sides are that bad why do t you go try and talk to them because im not budging that shit is wrong and i wont sit by in silence as if it isnt

if youre a beetlebabe shipper trying to get my to badmouth antis fine yeah we can be a bit intense and yeah there have been antis who’ve done shitty things in the past but if anyone is caught being shitty its over dude you are ejected from the good graces

and if youre a neutral youre doing a great job at being neutral but it is making me very angry and neutrality is comparable to complacency so im not in your camp at all

thanks again for writing in im not really sorry for being harsh but i really am sick of this shit so maybe go try talking to someone else for a little bit like literally any beetlebabe and see what they say back to you id love to see it

editors note because i couldnt fit this anywhere but if an anti does something wrong in the same vein as the beetlebabes and i hear about it im done with them full stop they dont get my support or anything and i wont state publicly who they are but there are several people that have been cut off because of their behavior

the thing is i dont seem to see the bad stuff they do or maybe i just dont see what they do as bad because in my book telling someone pedophilia is wrong isnt harassment its just a statement of fact anyway if you have receipts of antis being as hateful as babe shippers* im all eyes pal but dont give me the same stuff ive covered because ive made my stance on those things quite clear

*threats of violence belittling mental illnesses harassing a mentally ill 14 year old making fun of eating disorders and many other bad things

(Note: pointing out the inherant biphobia of a phrase is also not harassment)

bye

[aceshards]

So I'm @aceofhearts57 i had to repost this because tumblr flagged it for inappropriate content. And for some stupid reason MY ACCOUNT WAS FLAGGED TOO AS EXPLICIT-

Smh thats why it didnt let me change pfp snd banner.

ANYWAYS..

WEEKS WORTH OF WORK DONE!

AHEMM-

SO

..

These gifts belongs to the amazing people (the sakaki fangirl Rahenna and the BTS translator Marfisa) @fuckyeahgakuenheaven for working on GH2 translations and for making me love the underated fandom even more.

ANOTHER APPRECIATION POST TIME-

But..

Honestly, where do i start? I'm literally a fan of Rahenna's work (mostly her sakaki stories) and her lets plays. It honestly helped me to understand what was going on in the game and it was extremely helpful for my dumbass brain to understand. And Marfisa as much as ur behind the scenes you did most of translations!

When i posted my artwork on here I freaked out when Rahenna loved my creations. I never someone as awesome would love a teenager's messy art skills. I was so happy that I was motivated to draw her and her wife Marfisa's Favourite GH2 ships!

I hope its still updated to this day, I also love the ships myself. I wasnt a fan of sakaki and yuki UNTIL I WATCHED THE ROUTE RECENTLY and seeing rahenna's stories- however for Kuya and Yuki I really adore the pair of them theyre so cute.. and quirky :D

During the week i created 5 artworks and an edit for them!

Sakaki for Rahenna

Redraw of the blog's profile picture of chibi sakaki

Doodles of Yuki and Sakaki for Rahenna

Kuya and Yuki for Marfisa

Arata and Yuki for Marfisa

Edit of their fav GH2 ships for both of them

Artworks in the edit belong to Spray and the artists that drew it!

This all took me one week and it was worth it. Thank you guys so much i will be delighted to draw for you both again! You both deserve it ❤

Edit song:

Replay - Iyaz best childhood song

[smoaknsnow6]

I just realized something. People SUCK. Never let anyone lower your self esteem. I mean i knew people suck (thats why i fight with everyone i meet) but you can never tell the toxic ones. I had a toxic best friend for 3 years until i finally stood up for myself and escaped. I mean yeah i ended up with a sad me for a few weeks but at the same time it was the best i felt in forever. And yeah a year later i was punched in the eye at school but i didn’t care, because i knew that was a true friend. A friend who is not afraid to help you out and put you in your place is a true friend. And yeah i played a prank on him the next day and made my make-up look like a black eye, but we laughed and i lied for him. My point of this is FUCKING STAND UP FOR YOURSELF NO MATTER THE CONSEQUENCES, YOU ARE GOING TO BE SEEN AS THE STRONGER ONE AS SOON AS YOU TAKE OFF THAT SHIELD AND TAKE OUT THE SWORD. (Not saying violence is the answer. But if you need to, watch videos of people falling off roofs HILARIOUS) if i could, i would ddstroy the ENTIRE internet. Social Media and days of feeling bad about yourself Gone. Political Wars on Twitter, Gone. Texting someone who is in the same place as you instead of talking, Gone. Interacting with people, back. Less depression, back. Talking about things and doing activities without the internet, back. Stop being followers of people and having your own opinion/voice, back. I used to have everu form of social media imaginable and i keep the accounts as proof, but getting rid of all but 2 made me feel so much better.

Snapchat- just another way to edit yourself to make you look like you had plastic surgery + another form of stalking where your friends are + another way to text people.

Twitter- once again as stated before, a place to start political wars where people team up and a place to ruin eachothers status while also trying to start what is called a “twitter thread”

Pintrest- A place to see your favorite memes and photos and to find stuff that fits your needs without being critized (probably one of the better and only good forms of “social media”

TikTok- A mindless place that keeps you on your phone for a majority if the day, makes you dumber, a place where people get famous for the dumbeat of reasons, (i mean Charli Demilio got famous for making dances. Michael Jackson was famous for being the 2nd king of Rock’n’Roll and the moon walk) (you have probably all heard of Elvis Presley, but i bet, no i know you don’t know any 5 of his songs, name and lyrics) and keeps your focus off of your life and the real world.

Tinder- A dating app which is just a lie to get you to look at hot pictures of men and/or women + its basically just like typing in a random phone number with your area code abd hoping you get lucky whrn you can just casually meet someone the old fashioned way.

Discord- yet again another place to text without the app being called “messages” a place where you can voice call which is another preinstalled app called “phone”

Facebook- (another reasonable app that people take advantage of) it was meant to keep in contact with long distance family and friends who you don’t have the number of. But this app got out of hand and became mildly unpopular, for “old people”, another potential war zone of older wiser more expirenced adults, and where the term “internet stalking” more than likely became a thing because of idiots who cannot for the life of them move the heck on.

Every “Fake Phone Number app” invented- You either have this to prank family and friends, make prank phone calls, or to simply have a fake number to 1. Stalk and talk to your ex. 2. Try and get back together with your ex. Or 3. To see if your current S.O. is loyal and if you really need to go to this extreme to see if thats true then you dont trust them and should probably end things while you can.

Instagram- lets start this and end this with Discord, TikTok, Pintrest, and Snapchat in a handbag. Where you also post highly edited photos of yourself, only the best lit and looking photos, and things to ruin others self esteem

And last we have Tumblr

Tumblr- (ngl, safest and scariest of all mentioned) it combines like features of Twitter, Instagram, snapchat, and pintrest, but is the most safe and loving of the LGBTQ+ community but also has some creeps and weirdos.

I went with some cold hard opinionated facts, but feel free to dig deeper into any of these apps and I guarantee you’ll find something

I cut down my social media to 2 apps, if you want to feel better and think you can do the same or better, get off your ass and do it.

This post could help people. You have no reason not to repost it, if you want to fight with me or tell me something that you think is wrong with this post but i know is completely right, go right ahead, i do not go down easy

[co27]

yo why the hell are you reposting mitty's art? i see you're p young but you blocked them expecting that they wouldn't see it so i assume you know art theft is wrong.

?? i assume ur talking abt the “is fortnite good” or w/e art

i had no idea it was reposted/someone elses, it was submitted to me so i assumed the submitter had drawn it for me (because again, submitted) and thought it would be okay to post. im very sorry and ill be deleting it right away

EDIT APPARENTLY THE OP DRAWS P*RN OF MINORS LMAO??? double sorry for giving them any more exposure and also thats probably why i blocked them lol. ive blocked a shitton of people for the smallest things, and again, I DONT REPOST ART ON PURPOSE, i probably blocked them cause theyre.. how u say.... a goddamn freak

[theonly-vagina-kyungsoo-will-fuk]

Body lotion

Hi guys!

I recently stumbled onto a ksoo smut on ig and the author had given me permission to repost this on tumblr ( i also had edited a few parts in,for the kick ;)

Pairing : Kyungsoo x Reader

Genre : Smut with light humor 

Music : I recommend listening to Love Love Love by exo ,it goes well with the story

Original Author : Huge shoutout to @exolove_fanfic on instagram (Do follow them :D) The story was so good i just had to post it here!

You were waiting for kyungsoo at the park as he promised that you’d go back home together after practice. After half an hour of waiting, he sent you a message saying that there had been a slight change of his schedule and asked for you to go home first instead. You cursed silently at him for not telling you the news earlier and so you reluctantly dragged your weary body back home and immediately went to take a warm shower.

“ugh, ksoo has always been busy these days, i miss him” you said as u slowly closed the tap and reached out your hand to take the towel. “huh, where is it, i am 100% sure that i hung it here”, you thought as your hand slowly dried from the cold air.You became alert now, anticipating something bad is about to happen but nonetheless, you walked out from the shower, naked and opened up a drawer within site to grab a new one.

The sound of the bathroom door opening shocked you and you screamed and covered your body in instinct. You saw kyungsoo standing by the door, his hand holding the towel. ”Calm down,baby it’s just me”, kyungsoo said soothingly. As much as you were happy to see him, the cold air was fucking freezing your tits off. "Give me my towel!”, you said as you tried to covering your body as goosebumps slowly started to form all over your body. He walked towards you and handed it out to you, only to to hide it again behind his back as you reached for the towel (that teasing mf adndhbf). “Kyungsoo! stop playing i’m so cold, give me my towel back!” “What towel? Me? I am your towel baby, come here", kyungsoo mischeviously smirked as he hanged his hands out to you, dropping the towel to motion you to hug him. You didnt move.

You just had a fresh shower and didn’t wanna dirty yourself again by hugging sweaty kyungsoo (lol cleanliness is important guys) “Haishii, you’re such a clean freak” ksoo said as he took a step, engulfing ur wet body with a tight hug.You blushed instantly at the contact with the warmth of his body. Lips instantaneously conecting and eyes wandering your body now.(oh boy) You saw him smirk at the sight of your harderned nipples from the cold. “I think you’re gonna need another shower after this”, kyungsoo slowly whisphered in your ear, as he bit your earlobe lightly sending electricity down your body.

He grabbed the towel from the floor and helped dry yourself before attacking your lips hungrily and throwing the towel aside (in reality, it flew into another dimension tbh. Needy ksoo is such a mess). "Kyungsoo hold on, i need to put lotion on first, you know how sensitive my skin is (you needy bitch lmfao) “Lotion?”, kyungsoo playfully chuckled (bitch thats sexy af) as he broke the kiss and looked into your eyes. He lifted you up onto the bathroom counter, spreading your legs in the process, positioning him between them. 

“hmmmm, which scent do i want my baby to smell like today”, kyungsoo said as his fingers moved forwards and back, to pick from the lines of body lotions you had on the counter”. “I didn’t know i had a hoarder as a girlfriend”, kyungsoo joked because he had a hard time picking between all the scents aligned before him and in response you hit his hand jokingly. “Vanilla cream brûlée ..Strawberry Cheesecake...Coconut frosting. Aha! Peaches & Cream, my favorite.”, he exclaimed as he made his pick. He opened the lid and rubbed a generous amount of it onto his palm while kissing you deeply. “I bet this will taste delicious”, he whispered into your ear as he gently massaged the lotion all the way onto your arm.Your hand felt good in his warm hands, his fingers intertwining with yours, making sure the lotion was spreading evenly throughout.

His hands busy squeezing the lotion bottle, as he kept his mouth busy with yours. His hands now massaging the sweet scent onto your neck, shoulders and down around your arms. His hands rubbing your skin back and forth, the friction between you two is so sensual and alluring that you sneaked you arms around his neck, deepening the kiss,prying his lips open, allowing your tongues to dance together (idk how else to explain this). His hands now dangerously low, groping and massaging your breasts as has he flicked your hardened nipples, softly biting onto your lips only to get soft moan from you in response. Impatiently, you started unbuttoning his shirt as his hands found it’s way down your stomach and around your waist. You guys parted away for air, things sure are starting to get more heated than ever before.

He pulls you close and spreads your legs with his pants positioned teasingly right on your entrance as his busy hands makes it’s way up from the back of your leg to your thighs. You pulled his hair softly, bringing his head closer to your mouth, breathing heavily to show him the aftereffects of his touch. ”Kyungsoo...” you moaned into earlobe lightly as you felt his member growing harder on your center. You are hooked to his touch like a fish caught onto a bait, each touch feeling sinful than the next.

You snap out of your ecstasy when kyungsoo pulled away from the kiss. "I finished my job, you can get your towel now” he said smirking as his teasingly stroked your thighs. ”Shut up and kiss me”, you said as you pulled him in for a deeper kiss as your hands wondered to his zipper, earning a low growl from him in response. You touched his prominent bulge slightly, feeling him harden in your hands. “Now it’s my turn”, you smirked as you lathered the lotion onto your hands and started stroking him, never breaking eye contact as you listen to his breath getting heavier with each lingering touch. 

“That’s enough” he said as he held you wrist and with that he grabbed you and threw you onto your shared bed before climbing on top of you, brushing his member onto your throbbing heat that made you buck your hips towards him uncontrollably. "Patience baby”, kyungsoo teased his mouth latched onto your nipples while putting his length in line with your womanhood. He started to slide up, you moaned momentarily with pleasure and urged him to do you faster. He tasted all of your body, moaning how delicious you tasted from the sweet flavored lotion, screaming each others names before riding out both of your climaxes.

You both looked at each other, clearly love in both and laughed. How much you loved every moment spent with him.

Both of you spent the night kissing and cuddling each other. ”Kyungsoo why did you came home early all of a sudden, i could have waited for you in the park you know?” you begin. “My manager kind of messed up my schedules and it turns out i didn’t have to attend that interview and came straight home for my baby. You don’t like me being home early?” kyungsoo teased. “i don’t like it”,you replied pouting. “Why?”,kyungsoo asked his tone leaning towards a worried manner. “Because...you always make me dirty again after showering!”,you said as u lightly hit him. “ I always clean up my messes y/n. Are you ready for round 2 ”, kyungsoo said as winked and got up to lift you up towards the bathroom.

[neonstatic]

(transcripted convo)

i’m reposting a discussion i had w a terf. i previously posted screenshots but she messaged me and said she didn’t want her url or avatar displayed. editing the pics to post them again was hell so i’m posting a script instead (i learned my lesson tumblr: you suck). if anyone ends up finding the convo and thus the redacted speaker... idc. this is a public website and we technically had this convo in public - the notes of a post aren’t private spaces afaik. i’m posting this as proof that sometimes calmly reasoning with ppl lead to nothing. (i know anyone could say the same but lmao leave me alone.)

tw for transphobia/transmisogyny 

[redacted] (speaking to a transmasc discourser about the "woman path"): Ok let me explain what I mean :) if your experience was totally different then thats fine :) im 24 and when I was little i was encouraged to play with dolls and learn 'motherly things' like playing with baby dolls while my brother played with toy trucks. There was a lot of pressure at school to wear dresses, and be sweet and polite. @[transmasc discourser] then of course, learning to deal with periods and the shame and taboo around them. Removing body hair because its considered unladylike. Etc

@[transmasc discourser] have you had none of those experiences?

neonbaebae: these are all common experiences for women bc of gender roles/stereotypes but none of that defines womanhood as an identity.

[redacted]: completely agree they are gender roles. But menstruation isnt a gender role. Its a frustrating part of being female. But that said, what IS womanhood then?

(rest under cut)

neonbaebae: menstruation is a biological function that is in no way exclusive to female bodies. remember intersex ppl, who come in all forms and shapes. women aren't all the same and it's likewise for men. there are intersex women who don't fit all the criteria for being "female" yet still identify as women. there is a distinction to make between womanhood as an experience and womanhood as an identity.

the woman experience is what you've described. the woman identity is feeling like one, e.g.: liking female-coded clothes, makeup, hairstyles, feeling comfortable in the societal role of being a woman. identity is essentially abt self perception most of the time

[redacted]: intersex is unique and I respect that not all womens bodies are the same. Intersexuality is complex but it doesnt represent the majority of biological women. I dont have a strong baclground in intersex knowledge so I'm certainly not gonna speak on behalf of intersex women. so if identity is self perception (which I completely agree with) how can a biological man self perceive his femaleness.if he's never experienced it?

neonbaebae: trans women never identify with being male and all in entails. and they can see, thru watching women counterparts and how they interact with the world around them, that they id more w the idea of womanhood and much less w the idea of manhood. it's esp why dysphoria often settles around puberty bc the dissonance manifests physically and that's harder to handle

[redacted]: but what youre talking about is what trans women see women do.  If thats what someone aspires to, its a very basic and narrow understanding of  what womanhood is. Its only what they see. And people are far more complex than this. Does a biological male aspire to periods stigma, beauty conformity and lesser social stance in the world? Or do they aspire to femininity? Something many biological women dont feel comfortable with

neonbaebae: womanhood as an identity is a feeling that is strengthened by a disconnection to manhood, its polar opposite. someone who completely rejects the idea of being man is likely to prefer being a woman (not always but likely!). many trans women do aspire to femininity and it has nothing to do with the cis women who are uncomfortable w it, just like there are many cis women who embrace it too.

many trans women cannot quite explain their transition in another way than "being a man felt wrong but being a woman feels right and authentic to my true self". i'd suggest to ask an actual trans woman for her pov tho since i'm not one, i'm just basing myself on what i've heard them say

[redacted]: but feeling disconnected with manhood (which is understandable and gender roles are frustrating) doesnt make someone the opposite of a man. As society we need to open our understanding of gender expression. But this isnt the same as thinking 'if I dont feel like a conventional man or connect with male social expectations, then I must be the opposite'. Theres no logic in that

we live in a world where gender stereotype binaries are considered natural, and people who dont fit this understandably feel marginalised. In fact Id argue to a greater or lesser degree, none of us truly fit the prescribed gender binary.

but i find it problematic when a man thinks they're a woman based on what they think 'woman' is.

neonbaebae: you're right in saying that a disconnection from manhood doesn't make someone a woman - a connection to womanhood does. it has v little to do with the upbringing of women which you seem to define thru misogyny and menstruation alone which is frankly a pessimistic view of womanhood. it's less not feeling like a conventional man and more not feeling like a man At All. tru it doesn't sound logical but gender is not logical it's abstract and complex

it seems problematic bc one might think men would gain smth from iding as women but stats show that trans women are at higher risk of assault for being out and open, both of bc of misogyny (not directly related to having a vagina or menstruating after all) & transphobia. it's esp telling that trans men aren't targeted as much. do you disagree w trans men as well?

[redacted]: but as a women i dont connect with womanhood. Lol i am a women. It would be nice to think we live in a world where women are equal, but that's not the world we live in. Womanhood is hard. And we do live under a patriarchal society that's cultivated female inferiority over many centuries. We're still negotiating freedoms today.

Its not about gaining or loss. Its about the male right to self define womanhood on their terms, without the biological or social conditioning. In fact, many have recieved MALE conditioning as children. This comes with its own privileges.

I think transmale is a very different experience so no I categorise them very differently to transwomen

neonbaebae: "as a woman" you say. even if the experiences and stereotypes don't fit you perfectly, even if you reject it, you still id as a woman. you feel like one and you suffer the consequences of being one. believe it or not trans women suffer from iding as a woman as well and thrice as harshly. i can provide sources if you want.

trans women don't think like men bc they feel like women. the thought patterns are different. they don't digest the social messages abt men bc their mind doesn't relate to it. male entitlement and all doesn't apply to them. and in sociology alone womanhood is often defined as more than a biological or upbringing thing. it's a social identity and trans women have a right to it if they don't id and reject manhood altogether

my question tho was do you think trans men aren't men either cus otherwise that'd be hypocritical

[redacted]: my point is its not an identity. Its a reality. Im a woman. I have xx chromosomes and the world treats me as such. Similar to my race. I dont identify as my race, i am treated as the world sees me.

male entitlement does apply. Statistically baby boys are fed for longer than baby girls. And little girls are left to cry for longer than baby boys. Little girls learn many motherly caretaker roles while many of their male counterparts are encouraged to conquer the world. Children are raised by gender. Even subconsciously. I can also provide sources :)

there are many more male leaders and men in authoritive positions in the world. Women fight very hard for the same respect, but womens voices are less valued. It takes no genius to see men have greater standing in the world

about transmen. No I dont consider them men but I'll respectfully use the pronouns anyone prefers, male or female. Its common decency.

I think society needs to get more comfortable with non confirmative gender expression

neonboobear: but it is an identity. that's why there's a distinction between sex (bio) and gender (identity & expression). if it would feel wrong for you to be called a man or nonbinary then that'd be bc you don't id as such. (also there are women with chromosomes other than xx maybe you should avoid phrasing it that way.) i id as my race but race has v different roots & impact than gender historically and it cannot be compared. let's stick with gender.

and i'm not denying gendered socialization but it doesn't shape a child more than their personal feelings on their identity, which can differ v early in life bc (some) would rather engage in activities associated with the opposite gender for example. if it were that simple trans ppl wouldn't go at lengths to "play the part"

you're right society does need to accept gender non conformance but that's v different from the trans experience. i rly think you should have a deep conversation with a trans person to try and see their pov

[redacted]: if womanhood is an identity, it totally invalidates what it means to be female. And yes its arguable that there're are women who arent xx but how about the majority of the population that are. Must we pander to the few at the expense of the majority? also what makes you assume I dont talk to trans people? Critique doesnt mean lack of empathy.

Children and gendered socialization is complex. Maybe if 'feminine' activities werent coded as female and just 'childhood play' we wouldnt have the same degree of dysphoria. It goes back to the irrational logic, 'if I like the pink toy section then I must be a girl.'

neonboobear: i'm afraid that is your pov for the ideology that womanhood is an experience but also an identity is considered a v valid theory in the science field. the fact that there are women with chromosomes other than xx is proof alone that xx chromosomes aren't what makes a woman. and i've suggested a deep conversation and an intention to Understand the Other. not just a talk. i said nothing abt empathy.

there would be less dysphoria but i'm sure it's still be there. many think the abolition of gender would solve everything but i doubt so

[redacted]: i have a close mtf friend and we have the debate constantly. We don't always agree with her but there's a lot more common ground then you might expect :) Gender roles damn us all. Hmmmm... abolition of gender is impossible but theres is a lot that can be done to challenge gender expectations. But not an easy battle! neonbaebae: i mean this with the least offense okay but i sincerely think neither of you should be friends. i’m black and i’d never befriend a racist. that’s a lack of self respect on her part and a plain lack of respect on yours. 

i’d like to end this conversation here. i’ve said my point and i’d only repeat myself by continuing. and since i’m not a trans woman i don’t want to misinterpret them (so sorry if i’ve already did. trans girls feel free to bring up clarifications). might sound tedious but i strongly suggest you watch this 50-min long video essay by youtuber contrapoints. her vids are informative and entertaining and so v easy to digest despite the length. i’ve heard she’s not v liked in terf circles but it’s worth it to listen to what she has to say as a trans women.

[even-strangerthings]

Wish You Were Here. Billy Hargrove imagine.

(Pictures inside of the edit are NOT mine. The edit is mine)

Warning: A lot of sadness (I’m sorry), mentions of death, cursing

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X OFC Character, Vanessa

Word count: 6,311 (It’s super long.)

A/N: Normal text is present time, italic text are flashbacks. 

Based off the song “Wish You Were Here” by Neck Deep

I had to repost this because somehow the one I posted this morning got deleted. Don’t let this flop because I worked really hard on this.

Cause a picture is all that I have to remind me that you’re never coming back

Before Vanessa and Billy had started going out he was infatuated with her, and she was infatuated with him as well. She was the happiest, most bubbly person he had ever seen. She was always so friendly to everyone, even Billy. As much as he tried to walk around school and act like he was a tough macho man, Vanessa saw through it. She was a people watcher, and she would see Billy by himself every once and a while and she could see that he had a vulnerable side. He would watch her too sometimes in class, the way she would play with the ring she wore on her middle finger during class. He would see her walk home some days after school and he wanted to offer her a ride, but he didn’t want her to reject him. She wanted to figure out what made him tick and what went on in that head of his. One day after school she had to pass through the gym to get to her P.E. locker to get something out of there, when she opened the door she saw Billy by himself on the court dribbling the basketball. She walked along the sidelines watching as he shot the ball up toward the basket, making it in the hoop. He turned to grab the ball and saw Vanessa walking, stopping what he was doing and watching her instead.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to disrupt you.”

She said, bending down to pick the ball off the ground as it rolled to her. Billy smiled cockily at her, shrugging his shoulders and began to walk over to her.

“Oh, you’re fine. You’re Vanessa, right?”

She had no idea he knew who she was, he never gave her a second look that she had noticed, so she was surprised that he knew her name. Vanessa nods her head, throwing the ball to him. Billy smiles at her, looking at her longingly.

“You have really pretty eyes, has anyone ever told you that?”

“I could say the same about yours.”

She responds, nervously playing with her hands.

“Why are you here by yourself? It’s it easier to play basketball with another person?”

“Yeah, we can play together, if you want to.”

He says, dribbling the ball against the hardwood floor. Vanessa smiles, putting her stuff off to the side on the bleachers, tying her hair up.

“Alright Hargrove, you’re on. Let’s make it interesting why don’t we, hmm? The first one to get to let’s say… 15 points gets to pick a punishment for the other.”

The two were laughing up and down the court as they both tried to block each other’s shots and steal the ball. Vanessa had ended up getting the ball from him, both of them only needing one more point to make it to 15. She sprinted across the court, dribbling the ball, she feels herself getting picked off the ground, a pair of arms wrapping around her waist. Vanessa squeals as Billy puts her down, stealing the ball from her. He runs in the opposite direction and throws the ball, making it in the hoop with ease. Vanessa laughs, shaking her head and putting her hands on her hips. Billy cheers, throwing his hands up in the air in victory.

“That was a foul and you know it.”

“We never said we had to play by the rules, sweetheart. Now if I’m not mistaken, I have to pick a punishment out for you.”

He says, rubbing his hands together.

“I’m not doing anything that has to do with me getting naked, Hargrove.”

“Damn, well now I got to think of something else… I got it, you have to go on a date with me.”

He says, looking nervous for suggesting it.

“That’s not a punishment, but I would love to go on a date with you.”

Billy looks at her with wide eyes, almost in disbelief.

“Really? You really would go on a date with me?”

“Yeah? Why do you sound so surprised?”

Vanessa asks, wiping the sweat from her forehead.

“You don’t find me intimidating like everyone else does around here. You’ve never not smiled at me when I walk into class, or when you see me in the hallway.”

“I see through your tough boy facade, thats why. I know you put up a front for everyone here, so no, I’m not scared of you. I know there’s more to you then the hot car, hot body, and good hair.”

Billy softly smiles at her. Vanessa walks back to the bleachers and rips out a piece of paper out of her notebook, scribbling her phone number and address on it, handing it to Billy.

“Pick me up tonight at 8?”

He takes the paper and nods his head.

“I’ll see you later beautiful.”

“Looking forward to it, hermoso.”

He watches her walk away and out of his view before he jumps in the air and throws his fist in the air because he got her to go on a date with him.

Vanessa looks at her clock sitting next to her, saying that it was already 3am. She puts her notebook down after she had finished writing down the story of her and Billy’s first encounter. She looks out of her window seat in her room at the stars twinkling in the sky, her eyes were dry, impossible for anymore tears to escape her. Her chest tightened as she tried to catch her breath. She clung onto the chain of Billy’s necklace that he had given her that night, lacing it through her fingers on her right hand, the pendant resting in the palm of her hand. Vanessa missed being with Billy this late at night laying out at the school football field watching the stars and trying to point out the constellations in the sky. She missed resting her head against his chest while he would be playing with her hair, twisting random strands around his finger.

“That can be our star.”

Vanessa says, pointing to a cluster of stars in the sky.

“Which one?”

“The brightest star up in the sky right now. I’ve read about that one it’s called Vega. The story is that her parents liked the person she was with, but didn’t like how much time she spent with them, and they both started to neglect things that were important to them. So the parents arranged to separate the two by a river. They only got to spend one night a year together.”

She explained, turning onto her stomach, caressing Billy’s face. He smiles over at her quickly, looking back up at the sky. She looked at how beautiful he looked, the way the moon casted light against his soft face.

“Hmm, sounds familiar, except your parents barely tolerate me, my dad hates you, and if he had it his way he wouldn’t even let me see you once a year. I’m lucky I can sneak out of the house as often as I can to come see you.”

“Only 7 more months until we can get out of here mi corazón. And we can go to New York like we’ve been talking about.”

Vanessa says, getting up and straddling Billy’s lap, he sits up and wraps his arms around her, burying his face in her neck. She hugged him back, enjoying the warmth of his body against hers. She picked her head up and rested her forehead against his, playing with the collar of his shirt.

“Alright, that’s our star. On nights we can’t come out here and do this, I’ll look up in the sky and think of you.”

“Who knew that the keg king of Hawkins is so romantic and deep?”

Billy rolls his ocean blue eyes at her, trying to shield his smile from her.

“And if you ever tell anyone your ass is grass, Nessa.”

She laughed at him, shaking her head because she knew that she could murder someone in cold blood and he would still think she was an angel.

“Sure thing tough guy. I won’t let anybody know that you have other feelings other than being grumpy.”

“I have a question. Would you ever marry me?”

Her mouth hangs open, surprised at his question. The two of them talked about a lot of things, but marriage was something they hadn’t really touched on.

“Shit, I shouldn’t have said anything… sorry.”

“No, no, no. I was just kinda blindsided because we never talked about it. But to answer your question, I would marry you in a heartbeat.”

Billy smiles is almost to big for his face once he hears her answer. He reaches over to his denim jacket and pulls something small out of his jacket pocket, playing with it in the palm of his hand.

“So, will you marry me?”

Vanessa laughs nervously, cupping her hand over her mouth.

“What? Are you serious? Billy… I didn’t know you were serious… oh my god.”

He flashes her the ring, diamonds weaved through the silver band. His hand was shaking as he held his hand out.

“It was my mom’s. One of the many things I stole from my dad after she died.”

Vanessa looks up at him, meeting his blue eyes. She laughs, hugging him again.

“I can’t believe you. You’re impulsiveness is showing hard right now.”

“Sooooo… is that a yes?”

Billy asks.

“Yes. But not until we get out to New York. That way our parents can’t stop us.”

“Trust me, nobody is going to stop me from making you my wife. I love you, with all my heart.”

Billy takes Vanessa’s left hand and slips the ring onto the fourth finger.

“I love you too, siempre mi corazón.”

“Hold the bag of peas on your face while I wash the blood out of your shirt..”

Vanessa says, handing him the frozen bag and taking his light blue shirt with her to the sink in the kitchen, filling it up with water and submerging it into the cold water to let it soak. Billy holds the peas to the skin on his face, wincing feeling the cold against his eyebrow.

“This wasn’t my fault this time, Nessa. Evan put his hands on me first so I defended myself. My mom didn’t raise no bitch.”

Vanessa holds in her laugh, rolling her eyes. She wets a rag in the running water, wringing out the excess water, walking back to Billy and wiping the half dried blood from his nose.

“I know. But you have to cool it with your temper just a little bit. I don’t want to be bailing you out of jail because you got in a fight. Let me see your face.”

Billy moves the bag of peas from his eye, surprisingly he wasn’t going to be left with a black eye, but he was going to have a nasty bruise above his eyebrow.

“Is it bad doc?”

“No, you’ll live. Maybe he Evan knocked some sense into that head of yours.”

She jokes, kissing his forehead and walking back to the sink to clean his shirt. Billy comes up behind her and rests his chin on her shoulder.

“He was talking bad about you.”

He explains, wrapping his arms around her. She rests her head against his, knowing how sensitive he was when anyone talked bad about her.

“He said that you were a nice piece of ass and that I needed to watch where you were because someone else was going to end up snagging you up. I told him to shut his mouth, he grabbed me by my jacket, so I punched him in the jaw.”

Vanessa can’t help but laugh at him, shaking her head again.

“I appreciate you defending me, but you can’t go around punching anybody who has something to say about me. If I went around and fought everyone who talked bad about you I would be fighting people all day everyday.”

“I do it because I lo… uhh.”

He picks his head up quickly, his eyes wide. Vanessa knew what he was about to say but she was just as shocked as he was.

“I um… I do it… I did what I did because I like you… I umm…”

Billy quickly walks back to the chair at the kitchen table, putting the peas back on his face. Vanessa beams hearing him almost say he loved her, she wanted to say it back but she was nervous to make the first move. She turns around and slowly walks over to him, straddling his hips.

“Oh you just like me? That’s all?”

Billy cocks his brow, taking a deep breath and taking the bag off his face again and resting it on the table. He rests his hands on her hips and licks his lips.

“Yeah, I like you a lot.”

“Hmm, that’s weird because ‘lo’ doesn’t sound like “like”. It sounds like a different word.”

She shakes her head and kisses his cheek, getting off of his lap.

“Sorry, never mind.”

Billy grabs her hand, pulling her back to him and helping her sit back on his lap.

“I love you. I’ve loved you since our first date. Obviously I couldn’t tell you that on our first date because that’s creepy, but it’s the truth. I love you, Vanessa.”

He says, cupping her face with his hands, his rings cool against her cheek. She smiles sheepishly, her cheeks turning dark red.

“I love you too, Billy.”

“I can’t believe that the girl of my dreams loves me.”

Finally Vanessa’s eyes close after hours of her tossing and turning, not being able to shake Billy from her mind. Her mom was already getting home from work and decided that Vanessa could have one more day off from school since she didn’t get any sleep. As she fell into a deep sleep, the sound of her dad getting ready in the room next to hers subsided and she drifted off to sleep.

Vanessa grabs her bag off of the floor in her room, shutting her lights off and walking into the kitchen. Both her mom and dad were sitting at the kitchen table, which was odd because her mom was usually asleep because she worked graveyard shift at the hospital in town, and her dad was getting ready to go to work.

“Good morning. Why aren’t you sleeping mom?”

She asks, leaning down to give them both a kiss on the cheek. Her mom sighs shakily, looking up at her daughter, worry written all over her face.

“Mija, I need you to sit down for a second.”

Vanessa looks at her parents with concern, slowly sinking into the chair next to her mom. Her mom grabs Vanessa’s hand, rubbing her thumb over Vanessa’s knuckles.

“When I was leaving this morning around 5, Billy was brought in by ambulance because he was in a serious car accident. His car was a mangled mess, and it took the fire department a long time to get to him because he was trapped so badly… I don’t think he’s going to make it mija. He broke a lot of his ribs, he’s bleeding internally.”

Vanessa’s heart began to race, her hands becoming clammy. Her mind was racing a mile a minute while she tried to process all the information her mom was telling her.

“They can’t go in and do surgery on him? Help him stop bleeding? They can’t do anything for him?”

“If they operated on him he would bleed out in seconds. I think it’s a good idea for you to go down there and go see him… before…”

Vanessa jumps out of the chair, grabbing her car keys and rushing out the door. She tried to keep herself together the car ride there, trying to think positively so she didn’t freak herself out. Once she got there the lady at the front desk directed her to Billy’s hospital room, she was practically sprinting to the room, she rounded a corner and saw Max standing in the hallway up against the wall, her arms crossed over her chest.

“Max? Is he…”

She asked, not wanting to ask the question because she was afraid that she was too late at this point. Max’s eyes were puffy and red, dried tear marks on both sides of her cheeks.

“He’s conscious. My mom is in there right now. I can’t see him like this right now, that’s why I’m out here. He’s been asking for you though.”

“What happened?”

Vanessa asks, realizing she didn’t get the chance to ask her mom.

“He went to that girl Tina’s party and he had been drinking. He thought he was fine enough to drive but he was going too fast and took the curved road too fast. He spun out, some old lady side swiped him once he stopped spinning and pinned the car into a tree.”

Vanessa was mentally kicking herself. She told Billy he could go to Tina’s party because he wanted to go, but not without her. She insisted that she didn’t want to go and she would be fine with him going.

“I’m going to go see him, okay? I’ll be back.”

She says, giving her a tight hug. Vanessa knocks on the door lightly, hearing a female voice from inside telling her to come in. She pulls the door open, slowly walking in. Her eyes meet Susan first, then at Billy, the sight of him making her breath hitch in her throat. She turned back behind the curtain, covering her mouth with her hand, not expecting him to look as bad as he did. Tears filled her eyes almost instantly, biting her lip to suppress the sob she wanted to let out. Susan walked over to her, bringing her in for a hug.

“He’s been asking for you. He’ll be happy to see you. I’m going to go check on Maxine, and I’ll leave you two alone.”

Vanessa nodded her head, noticing that Billy’s father wasn’t in the room.

“Susan, where’s Neil?”

“He’s meeting with people from the funeral home, he wanted to get things ready early.”

Susan saw the displeasure in her face that his own father wasn’t here to say goodbye to his son, and quickly exited the room. Vanessa took deep breaths and walked back past the curtain, looking at how small he looked in the bed.

“Billy?”

His head moved toward her, his face not even looking like his face because it was so disfigured by the cuts and bruises on it.

“Hey beautiful.”

He croaks out, trying to sit up. Vanessa rushes over to him, trying to help him lay back down.

“Hey, you can’t be doing all that. You’re fragile now. They told me you crashed your baby?”

“Yeah, don’t remind me, I’m pissed. Totalled my fucking car.”

He sighs, looking up at the ceiling. Vanessa sat next to him in the chair, taking his hand into hers. Tears began to fall from her eyes, realizing this was going to have to be her goodbye to him. He looks over at her, squeezing her hand weakly.  

“They told you I’m on my way out huh?”

“Yeah, my mom told me… I thought that if I ever had to do this we’d be like 90 years old.”

She stayed silent for a few seconds, trying to swallow the lump in her throat so she could speak.

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this Billy. How am I just supposed to let you go, I didn’t have you as long as I wanted with you.”

“I’m sorry, Nessa. I really am. Fuck baby I’m so sorry. I’m an idiot. I screwed up everything.”

They both openly sobbed, looking each other in the eyes.

“My medal. Bring it to me?”

Pointing his finger over to the corner of the room where there was a bag full of clothes. Vanessa got up off the chair, wiping tears from her eyes as she dug through the bag until she found the chain with the pendant on it. She walks back to Billy, placing it in his hand.

“No, I want you to have it. To remember me by.”

“Billy, I can’t. It was your mom’s. You should be bu… you should take it with you.”

He shakes his head.

“What good is it going to do me? I want you to have it. As long as you have it, I know that you’ll be safe. It kept me safe up until this morning… but I guess my mom missed me too much and wants me to come home. I want you to do good in your life, babe.”

“Billy…”

She sobs, not wanting to have this conversation with him.

“Vanessa, listen to me please. I don’t want you to dwell on this forever, I want you to go out and enjoy your life, meet someone else, start a good life with them, make sure they treat you like a queen because it’s what you deserve. I’m going to be watching over you, I won’t be far away from you, ever okay? Thank you for giving a piece of shit like me a chance to be with someone as beautiful and wonderful as you. My mom would have loved you, I know it.”

He lifted his arm high enough to reach for her face to wipe the tears away.

“I love you Vanessa. With all of my heart. I love you.”

“I love you too Billy. Mi corazón.”

She stared at his face as his long eyelashes began to close for longer periods of time. Her vision became more and more blurry as they filled with tears. She knew he was hurting, and she wished she could stop the pain in his body. Billy blinked one last time, his eyes remaining shut. She watched the monitor on the other side of his bed as the beeping slowed.

“I love you.”

She repeated over and over again, rocking back and forth in the chair. She felt one last squeeze of Billy’s hand before the beeping flatlined. Violent sobs emerged through her body once he was gone, covering her face with the sleeves of her jacket. The door opened, 2 nurses walking in and checking his pulse. Vanessa felt someone wrapping themselves around her, patting her back. She removed her hands from her face to see Max’s red hair in her line of sight, low sobs coming from her too.

“Come on girls, let’s get some air.”

Susan says, wiping tears from her own eyes. Max stands up first, sinking into her mom’s side as Susan helps Vanessa out of the chair.

“I’m going to call my mom. I don’t think I can drive back home right now.”

“Okay, Maxine, honey walk with her.”

Max follows her to the desk on the floor, asking one of the nurses if she could use the phone. Her mom answers and tells her she’ll be there right away to pick her up. Max waits with her out in the parking lot until Vanessa’s mom drives up, both of them hugging each other the whole time.

“Will you call me once you find out details about the funeral?”

Max nods her head, waving as the car drives off. Vanessa’s mom pulls out of the parking lot only to pull into the parking lot next to it, holding her as her daughter cries.

Her eyes open frantically, her body quickly launching up from the mattress. She looks around her room, realizing she was all alone.

“Fuck. Get it together Vanessa. Pull yourself together, you can’t do this to yourself.”

She says to herself, rubbing her eyes.

Vanessa sat in the car in the parking lot of the cemetery for the first time since the funeral. She had been staring at the entrance for almost 20 minutes trying to work up the courage to get out of the car, but she couldn’t figure out how to move her limbs. She saw red hair, the all too familiar red hair of Billy’s step sister riding her skateboard through the parking lot and toward the entrance. Finally Vanessa had snapped out of her mood and opened the car door.

“Max!”

She yelled out, running to her to catch up. Max hopped off the skateboard, turning around to see Vanessa, a smile appearing on her face.

“Hey you. Long time no see.”

Vanessa says, hugging the girl.

“Yeah, I go straight home after school, my mom and Neil freak out if I’m a minute late. How… how are you?”

Max asks, her demeanor changing. Vanessa sighs, not even sure herself of how she was having one of her bad days or one of her even worse days.

“I’m… getting through it. Slowly. I’m hoping that me coming here helps with things. Maybe we can get through this together?”

Max nods her head. Vanessa wraps her arm around Max’s shoulder and walks with her through the cemetery, talking about how school was going and how things at home were going. They reach the row Billy was located at, both of them going silent as they walked past the random headstones in the row until they reached his. It had only been a month so he didn’t have a headstone yet, only a plastic plaque that read:

“William Hargrove. November 15 1968 - March 20th, 1986.”

There were still flowers on the mound of dirt from the funeral sitting there. Vanessa’s eyes well up with tears, choking back tears as she stares at the grave. She hears Max sniffle next to her, Max taking a seat next to the top of the grave.

“We might have had our problems, and I might have told him how much of a dick he was, but him and I had good times, occasionally. I still loved and cared about him.”

Max says, looking up at Vanessa. Vanessa sits next to her, rubbing her nails up and down Max’s back comforting her.

“I know, I saw him be nice to you a few times. He cared about you, deep, deep down he did. He just had an awful way of showing it.”

She laughs softly, pulling her knees into her chest.

“It’s not fair. He knew he shouldn’t have been driving while he drank, but he did. If he hadn’t gone to the party that night he would still be here. If I would have just went with him he would still be…”

Vanessa trailed off, the lump in her throat making it hard for her to continue. She sobbed harshly, wiping her tears with the sleeves of the sweater that used to belong to Billy. Max looks at her sympathetically, tears filling her eyes as well.

“I’ve been writing about him a lot. Like about our good memories and stuff, my mom said it should help me with grieving, but I feel like it’s only making it worse. I had a flashback to the day he died. I didn’t think we would only have a short time together. I thought we still had forever. We had so much planned Max. He wanted to marry me. I told him yes, but not until we graduated. We wanted to move to New York after we had road tripped there last summer. Ugh, I’m sorry.”

Vanessa says, holding the fabric against her eyes to soak up the tears.

“At least you have those memories with him. If you ever start to miss him you can just think about all the good times you had together. Your memories of him won’t ever fade.”  

Max says, now comforting Vanessa. She nods her head at her, wiping more tears from her eyes. The girls sit in silence, the wind blowing through their hair.

“Neil has been pissed since the funeral. I can hear him yelling at my mom some nights. He’ll throw things around the living room or their bedroom, he’ll tell her that if it wasn’t for his screw up of a son that he wouldn’t have had to transfer out here and he wouldn’t be in a hole in the ground.”

Vanessa bites the inside of her cheek, trying her hardest not to get angry over what Max is telling her.

“Does he ever yell at you? Because if he does you need to tell me. I won’t let him do what he did to Billy for so many years.”

Max had no idea about Neil beating the shit out of Billy like clockwork, but that was because he would do it when Max wasn’t around. She didn’t know until she saw a huge cut on Billy’s back from his dad throwing him up against the full length mirror Billy had in his room, shards of glass breaking into his skin. Max had called Vanessa telling her to get over to their house because he was hurt. Billy finally told Max all about the abuse he had been suffering since he was 7.

“No he usually waits to blow up until I’m asleep. Or until he thinks I’m asleep. Neil boxed up Billy’s stuff the day of the funeral and he started to throw away the stuff that had to do with you and Billy.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes, she knew how much Neil disliked her even though he never said it to her face. He was nice to her face, too nice where Vanessa felt like he was coming off fake. Billy would relay the things that his dad had said about her while his dad argued with Billy about breaking up with her. The more Billy had refused the more Neil would talk negatively about her, especially about her ethnic background. Vanessa was somewhat immune to hearing it because growing up in a predominately white, republican community, with parents who were more comfortable talking in spanish than in english, she heard her fair share of comments in her lifetime.

“I managed to get a lot of the stuff out of the trash though. I have pictures, mixtapes you made him, letters you had written him. I’ve been wanting to give them to you, but I haven’t seen you.”

“Really? Thank you so much Max. I really appreciate that. How about we go into town and get a bite to eat, and I’ll drive you home?”

Max smiles softly, nodding her head. She says her goodbyes to Billy, leaving Vanessa by herself to say hers. Vanessa stands up, cleaning the dirt off herself.

“I’ll see you later mi amor. Come visit me in my dreams later please. I love you.”

The sun had started to come down by the time Max and Vanessa had gotten out of the diner. She drove along the street to Billy’s house for the first time since he had passed away. If her grip on the steering wheel wasn’t so tight she knew that her hands would be shaking at this point. She pulls up to the white house, parking in the street. It made her heart hurt that the blue Camaro wasn’t parked in its usual place. Max ran into the house to retrieve Billy’s belongings for her, Vanessa obviously not feeling comfortable enough to go in the house for more reasons that one. A minute or two later Max comes back out of the house with a small box in her hand. Vanessa gets out of her car and meets her halfway up the walkway.

“I know it’s not much that I managed to save but…”

“This is more than I thought I was ever going to get. Thank you so much Max. I’m going to head out, but if you ever need anything from me, you have my number, you know where I live, and you know that I’ll be there for you for whatever, okay?”

She gives Max a tight hug before saying bye to her and walking back to her car and driving off. The box sat in the passenger side seat on the way back to her house. Her dad greeted her once she got inside telling her that dinner was almost ready. She went up to her room and started to take things out of the box one by one. There were polaroid pictures scattered around on the bottom of the box, a few of Billy’s favorite books, 2 mixtapes she had made for him, some of his rings that were way too big to fit, but she would just keep them in her jewelry box. Max had managed to sneak in 2 of Billy’s t-shirts that still smelled like him, his cologne, and his silver lighter. Max was definitely going to get a call later thanking her for putting this stuff aside for her. She pulled out one of pictures from the bottom of the box that was of herself smelling a flower that Billy had given her for her birthday. On the white part of the picture he had scribbled “Beautiful girl, beautiful flower.” The next one she picked out was of the engagement ring he had given to her. And the last one was one that Vanessa had taken in the school parking lot. He was in his denim jacket and denim jeans, a look she was always a fan of, with his signature cigarette between his lips. “Mi corazón. December ‘85 written in her handwriting. Vanessa had a copy as well so she was glad that she now had 2. The other two made Vanessa blush because they were such intimate pictures that she was embarrassed Max had to see. She taped the pictures on the wall next to others that were already there. It was going to take a long time to forget about the love of her life, but she was glad she had some things to remember him by.

It was the first night in a month that she had actually fallen asleep without crying. She didn’t struggle at all, and she was relieved because she desperately needed it. Once she fell into a deep sleep she noticed she was in Billy’s car in the passenger seat. She looked over at him and smiled at Billy, throwing her arms around his neck, laughing and crying in disbelief. She couldn’t make out where the car was parked exactly, but she knew for sure it wasn’t Hawkins.

“Oh my god. You’re here. You’re really here.”

Vanessa wept, her hands cupping around his face, bringing their foreheads close to each other. Billy smiles and kisses her nose.

“Only for a little while babe. I came to see you because I saw you at the cemetery with Max. And I know you’ve been having a hard time letting go.”

He responds, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

“I can’t help it, I miss you. This wasn’t part of our plan, Billy. We were supposed to get out of Hawkins together, I’m not supposed to go by myself.”

Vanessa cries. Billy sighs, hugging her into his chest once again, softly shushing her.

“It’s time you move on, baby. You can’t mourn over me forever.”

“I have to go on living the rest of my life without you, without going through with the stuff we had planned for our lives. How am I supposed to do that?”

Billy touches the pendant on the necklace that used to be his resting against her chest.

“I’ll always be here for you when you’re going through a hard time. As long as you have this I’ll always be close to your heart. That’s why I gave this to you. My mom told me the same thing before she passed. You might physically go through your life without me, but I’ll always be with you. When you graduate next month, when you go off to college in New York, when you get married one day and have beautiful babies, I’ll be there watching over you.”

“It’s not the same. I don’t want anyone else. I want you. I’m not going to be able to see your face everyday, hug you, smell your cologne, hear your voice, have you annoy me everyday.”

Vanessa was full on sobbing at this point, a lump in her throat forming throughout every word she speaks. She didn’t want to let go of this moment, she wished she could stay in his arms forever because that’s where she belonged.

“Stop crying, baby girl. Look at the bright side, I’m not hurting anymore. My dad can’t hurt me anymore.”

Her body shakes with her loud hiccup. His grey shirt was soaked from her tears, she could feel his finger twirling around her hair, his other hand rubbing circles around the back of her arm.

“Why did you have to be driving so fast that night? Why did you have to be drinking?”

She asks through her cries, she picks her head up and looks into his eyes, sorrow filling them.

“I’m an idiot, that’s why. I knew I shouldn’t have been, but I thought I was good, my house was only a mile away… I didn’t see the curved road sign. I’m sorry baby. I’m sorry I put you through all this heartbreak.”

“Te amo siempre mi corazón.”

Billy smiles and kisses her lips.

“You know, I was right. My mom loves you.”

“I’m glad. I can’t wait to meet her one day. She did a good job raising you.”

Vanessa says, running her hand over Billy’s cheek.

“I’m going to go now, okay? No more crying. I’ll come by and see you every once and a while.”

Vanessa nods her head and smiles, kissing him one last time before she wakes up. She sits up in bed and touches the necklace around her neck.

“I love you Billy.”

[beepsrichie]

psa: false accusations.

last time i made a psa post that can be found under here. a bunch of bitter fack shippers just can’t handle the truth and are out for blood. and by that they are doing whatever they can do ruin my friends reputation for no fucking reason.

first off, imma jump right into it. don’t be a fucking sheep. if you see a post about eddiesghost going around- please report it and come back to us about it. theres something called proof. its easy for someone to just talk and make a post. but you gotta show the receipts. so next time if you see something about my friend on instagram or even twitter, please just report it, defend her or even just tell her about it! it’s some serious shit, its no longer a joke.

a post was recently posted by a gross blog. link is here. DON’T REPOST THEIR SHITTY POST PLEASE. ITS GROWING ENOUGH ALREADY.

warning, its pretty disturbing and i’m sorry you had to read it. just remember its not fucking true.

first off, i’m making this because it’s dangerous shit and it’s real. but most of all- my best friend is getting targeted from these people. also, this is case #1 according to that blog, meaning there are others that they want to expose. i just want you guys to know that they are already aware of this and contacted. i will not mention who the other blogs are though. if they want to come out about it, so be it. that isn’t my choice.

1. COMMON FUCKING SENSE.

first of all, you are fucking stupid if you believe their post. i get it, its scary and you dont wanna interact with people like that. but use your brain. and if any of you guys believe this shit- wake the fuck up!

IF YOU HAVE A FUCKING TUMBLR, YOU SHOULD KNOW HOW A FUCKING TUMBLR CHAT LOOKS LIKE. everything above is obviously edited. don’t believe this bullshit please.

this is what a chat fucking looks like:

take note of the background coloring please.

2. THE COLORING OF THE BACKGROUND.

their edited version:

the actual version from my tumblr chat with eddiesghost:

the chat boxes are edited and not the right color.

3. THE ICON.

lets fucking take a closer look at something. (LOOK AT THE RED)

huh, strange. why the fuck is her icon like that when its a circle.

oh wait- but theres fucking more. the icons arent even the same coloring.

HMM.

fucking idiots.

4. THE EDITING.

if you zoom in, you can see it was obviously edited.

5. WHERES THE OTHER PERSON?

if you read the post- which im so sorry you had to, you can see that apparently eddiesghost is talking to someone.

after the “you follow?” comment, there is no reply.

like, where the fuck is the other comment huh? if this was a real post, you would see another person reply back. its clearly, once again, fucking edited.

guys, the leader of the cult ashley who messaged me on wolfhardgrazerstruth is is twenty-four years old and she is a fucking fack shipper. she’s manipulating these children who love fack into thinking this is all true and how eddiesghost is secretly wanting jack for himself and many more gross accusations. this adult took her fucking time and day to photoshop those messages. WHO FUCKING GOT CREATIVE AND WROTE ALL OF THAT NASTY STUFF YOU SEE ABOVE. shes projecting her pedophilic feelings onto our friend and thats fucking disgusting. also, shes controlling these teens who ship fack to do her dirty work.

i understand you guys are scared and i get it, its a fucking terrifying situation. but think twice before you believe things. do some investigating, zoom in and point out their flaws instead of jumping into conclusions. also- i’m sorry but if any of you saw the gross post these sick people posted and sent my friend death threats, then thats messed up and i hope you apologize and realize your mistake. this is some serious fucking shit what these people are doing. eddiesghost could of gotten in a load of crap for false accusations and i hope these fuckers realizes that they can get into a lot of trouble for spreading terrible, nasty rumors around.

and thats the fucking tea. please spread this around and just go on over to my friends blog and send some fucking love.